Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“DAAAZZAAAAIIIII!”

The raised pitch at the end of his shrieked name made the brunette grin, leaning back in his chair with his hands folded on his stomach as he waited. It wouldn’t be long now until the door to the agency office’s was kicked in, maybe even with enough force to take it off its hinges because Chibi used a little too much Tainted Sorrow on that one. If he was lucky, maybe it would hit Kunikida’s desk and send his oh-so-neatly-organized papers everywhere, and then Dazai could watch his two favorite people to irritate lose their minds.

Now that would be a fun Monday.

It was a slow day at the detective agency, or, at least it was for Dazai considering he was in a whole ten minutes early - gross - and had the attention span of a squirrel when he had nothing to do. Technically, he could be writing up that assault case report from last week, but Atsushi wasn’t in yet for him to push his workload off onto, so alas, he was bored.

And a bored Dazai meant an annoyed Chuuya. Hence the reason he of all people arrived to work early.

The cracking of the front door to the agency’s office quirked the corner’s of Dazai’s lips up, which quickly formed into a full grin when the now off-its-hinges door slammed open to reveal his favorite fiery redhead.

“What the hell is this Dazai?!” The short man yelled as he waved a piece of paper in the air, murder in his blue eyes as he advanced towards the brunette’s desk.

“Good morning to you too Chuuya! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Dazai said sweetly, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on the desk and his chin on the back of his folded hands.

“You know damn well what I’m doing here Dazai,” Chuuya growled, slamming the piece of paper down on the space directly in front of the brunette.

“Did Chuuya get lost on his way to work again?” Dazai asked cocking his head slightly as he smiled innocently at the redhead, completely ignoring the envelope in front of him.

Chuuya sneered at the man just about to rip him a new one, when a tall, blonde detective walked through the doorway.

“Nakahara-san if you could stop breaking our door, that would be greatly appreciated,” Kunikida said as he came through the doorway, sighing as he stepped over a few pieces of splintered wood.

“Right on time as always Kunikida-kun,” Dazai said, turning his head to smile in greeting at his partner.

“And you, for once, are in early, meaning you are either not the actual Dazai, or you’re causing trouble that requires you to be in before nine.” Kunikida looked at the brunette suspiciously over the top of his glasses, frowning in his direction.

“I will stop breaking the door as soon as this asshole quits sending me these stupid fucking letters!!” Chuuya yelled in his typical Chibi fashion, getting Dazai to turn his coy smile back towards the redhead.

“We are going to need to add in a place in the budget for new doors then, Kunikida-san. Good morning Dazai-san, Nakahara-san,” the agency’s weretiger stepped through the entryway, smiling at everyone and giving a small wave before moving to take his place at his desk. Kyouka bowed slightly in her own silent greeting as she followed behind Atsushi.

“Good morning Atsushi-kun! Lovely weather we’re having isn’t it?” Dazai said, having to actively work to ignore the increasingly steaming man in front of him. Which quickly became impossible as the short redhead reached across the desk and yanked the brunette forward by his collar.

“Listen here Mackerel, time for you to knock this shit off,” Chuuya growled low enough for only Dazai to hear, his nose inches from Dazai’s own. The brunette’s seasoned experience with Chuuya’s tendency to forget personal space etiquette was the only thing that allowed him to keep the blush off his face.

Because unfortunately, Dazai was in love with his former partner.

Incredibly inconvenient, considering the other man seemed to hate the brunette’s guts. Though Dazai supposed that was a bit deserved; what, with the abandoning him for four years. 

Granted while leaving had been by choice, it didn’t mean he had wanted to leave the Chibi. Chuuya was the only thing that would have gotten him to stay. Which is exactly why he hadn’t been able to bring himself to say goodbye.

Being quite skilled at hiding his inner thoughts Dazai plastered on his signature shit-eating grin, not backing down from the challenge currently gripping his shirt. “Or what, Chibi? You gonna ‘kick my ass into next week’?” Dazai shifted his voice to mimic Chuuya’s, which he expected to earn him the scowl he got in response.

What he did not account for; however, was the scowl morphing into a smirk, those bottomless blue eyes glinting with a mischief that Dazai knew never meant anything good.

“While that is always tempting…” Chuuya trailed off, moving to bring his lips just by Dazai’s ear, which definitely took the brunette by surprise. “... I’d much rather just make you work for your entertainment.” Chuuya then leaned backwards - much to Dazai’s dismay - as the brunette tried to process the words that had just left the redhead's mouth. He was a little distracted though, because while Chuuya often got in his face when he was angry, he had never done that. And that was doing things to Dazai, things that were preventing proper brain function.

In the nanosecond the brunette was distracted, he felt a hand skim his side as Chuuya’s presence was removed from his personal space, already halfway across the room. 

The shorter man stopped in the mess of a doorway, cocking his head back to shoot a triumphant grin his former partner’s way. Chuuya raised his hand, twirling something on his index finger…

Dazai immediately snapped out of his stupor, his hand shooting to his coat pocket. He cursed a little louder than he meant to when he realized what the damn Chibi had gotten away with.

He was a second later than he would’ve liked in pretending not to care that Chuuya had managed to steal his own penthouse key back - Dazai had taken it earlier in the week again, having gotten tired of picking the lock.

“As if that will stop me from getting to Chibi’s wine~” Dazai sang, smiling once again at the redhead, whose grin fell into a frown.

“Eat shit and die, Mackerel,” Chuuya spat, apparently in way of goodbye as he turned back around and stormed away down the hall. In his departure, he almost ran smack into the rest of the detectives from the agency as they arrived to work, one of whom raised an eyebrow at the Port Mafia member now leaving the Agency’s headquarters.

“What’s his deal?” Yosano asked, turning said raised eyebrow towards Dazai.

“If 37 cans of canned crab aren’t delivered to the Armed Detective Agency by three p.m. tomorrow afternoon, Nakahara Chuuya’s collection of wines will be replaced with the finest grape juice the corner store has to offer,” Kenji read cheerily from the letter he had picked up off Dazai’s desk. Dazai sent the blonde boy a small smile, his chin returning to rest on his folded hands propped up by his elbows. He heard Kunikida snort from his left, but the detective’s eyes never raised from the paper he was furiously scribbling away at.

“It’s amazing to me how worked up he still gets about threats like that from Dazai,” Tanizaki commented offhandedly, having moved to stand behind his own desk, his sister Naomi still hanging off of him.

“Probably because he knows that Dazai-san will actually do it,” Atsushi mused, greeting Kenji with a smile as the blonde boy bounded over to his desk. “And because it’s Dazai-san,” Atsushi tacked on, sending a knowing look his mentor’s way. Dazai pouted at that look, not liking the fact that Atsushi probably knew more about his and Chuuya’s relationship - or lack thereof - than he would appreciate.

Ranpo hummed in agreement as he passed the two younger agents and made his way to the head of the room. Yosano snorted a laugh before turning and heading to her own office, leaving everyone in their respective places for the morning.

The moment of settling was fleeting though as Kunikida snapped the ledger on his desk closed, rising to give out the morning assignments. 

“Alright, time to get to work. Atsushi, Kenji, you’re on the Minatocho Market case again. I want you to talk to the merchant’s again, see if they have remembered anything else. Tanizaki, you’re with me to help question that judge about…” Dazai stopped listening to Kunikida rattling off orders, knowing he would get yelled at but not really caring. He had already figured out how he was going to get into the slug’s apartment later, and which bottles of wine he was going to be dumping out.

Now all he had to do was determine which store to buy the grape juice from.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Could you be any more cliche Mackerel?”

Dazai smiled wide as he pulled the small string for the lamp beside him, bathing the area surrounding the large armchair he was sitting in in a warm, dim light.

“Haven’t the slightest clue what you’re talking about Chibi,” Dazai said, crossing his legs and moving to rest his folded hands over his knee.

Chuuya scowled in his general direction, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his hat and coat on the rack by the door before walking into the kitchen.

“What are you doing here jackass?” Chuuya asked, reaching for a wine glass and an unopened bottle of red wine. He uncorked the bottle with practiced ease, tossing the cork in the garbage and started pouring himself a large glass.

“Aren’t you gonna need that Chibi?” Dazai asked, motioning towards the trash where the cork now was.

“Corks are for quitters,” the redhead responded with no hesitation, not even bothering to look up at the brunette. “Now what do you want Dazai?”

“Can’t I just pop in to spend quality time with my favorite Chibikko?” Dazai said airily, grinning sweetly in Chuuya’s direction. The redhead frowned in response, making his way over to the couch and sitting in the corner furthest from Dazai. He tucked his feet up under him and leveled the brunette with his best death glare over the top of his wine glass.

“Unless you’re here to apologize for the stupid letters, get out,” Chuuya said flatly.

Dazai harrumphed childishly, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms over his chest petulantly.

“Chuuya is so rude, not appreciating my tokens of affection.” 

“Hah? Tokens of affection?” Chuuya’s voice pitched up slightly as he asked. “If that’s how you show your affection, then I feel sorry for whatever woman ends up with your ass.”

Dazai sighed, waving the comment away at an attempt to hide the internal wince he made at that statement. Like Dazai wanted to end up with anyone other than the short, fiery redhead in front of him.

“So sad that Chibi doesn’t have the mental capability to understand a prank,” Dazai said, leaning his elbow on the armrest and resting his head in his hand.

“You have ten seconds to tell me why you are wasting my time before I throw you out,” Chuuya responded, narrowing his eyes and taking another drink from his glass.

Dazai pouted a little, before sighing like it was taking all his effort to answer the question. “Fine, fine. I’m here on Agency business.” Chuuya raised his eyebrow at that, sitting up a little straighter as Dazai donned the most serious expression he could muster.

“Kunikida-kun sent me to tell you that he was surprised you make the height requirement to work for the Port Mafia,” Dazai said in a grave voice, the only hint of his mischief was the slight glint in his eyes.

Chuuya blinked at him a couple times before slowly lowering his wine glass and setting it on the coffee table. Not a second later, the red glow from Of the Tainted Sorrow appeared around Chuuya. Dazai knew that was supposed to be an intimidation tactic, but he couldn’t help but notice how beautifully Chuuya’s power wrapped around him. The man somehow managed to make even sitting curled up on a couch look majestic.

“Dazai,” Chuuya said, his voice scarily calm for someone looking too wield a god’s power.

“Chibi,” Dazai responded in the same tone at an attempt to mock the smaller man.

“Get. Out.” The words held so much weight, it was almost as if Chuuya used his gravity-manipulating power on them.

“No can do Chibikko, can’t leave quite yet. You haven’t found my present.” Dazai smiled sweetly.

If he hadn’t been the man’s partner for years he certainly wouldn’t have been able to catch the fist now inches away from his face. The red light around Chuuya started to fade as Dazai’s grip on his closed fist slipped down to his wrist, gentler than one would have expected for a man who almost just got sucker-punched.

“Fucker,” Chuuya spat, attempting to move off of where he was practically sitting on Dazai’s lap. The brunette’s grip only tightened though, his face unreadable as he looked at his former partner.

There was a potent moment of silence, one where no words were exchanged, but the sudden softness in Dazai’s eyes made Chuuya’s breath hitch just a bit, unused to seeing the man look so… open. Why the fuck was he looking at him like that?

Dazai opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but then slowly closed it, the corners of his mouth ticking up instead. 

“Ne, Chuuya, is that an invitation~?”

This time Dazai wasn’t able to stop Chuuya from yanking his wrist out his grip and grabbing the front of his shirt. The redhead yanked the brunette up, dragging him across the living room before opening the front door and gracefully throwing him out on his ass. Dazai was pleased; however, when he spotted the faint blush of embarrassment across Chuuya’s cheeks as the redhead glared down at him.

“And stay the fuck out!” Chuuya hollered, clearly not really caring if his neighbors heard as he slammed the door shut on Dazai.

The brunette grinned at the closed door, standing up and brushing invisible dust off his coat. As he turned to leave, he sent one last glance over his shoulder at the Chibi’s apartment.

Dazai remembered the feeling of Chuuya’s annoyed breath on his face, his knee resting on the chair next to his legs where he had caught himself from falling. He wished he’d had the courage to pull the redhead forward, closing the distance between the two of them.

His only regret was not staying to see the look on Chuuya’s face when he opened his next bottle of grape juice wine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Atsushi-kun, what would be something that would really piss you off?” Dazai asked, twirling his pen around in his hand.

“Um, I don’t know, pretty much anything having to do with Akutagawa. Why, Dazai-san?” Atsushi responded, putting his own pen down from where he had been working on paperwork to look at his mentor quizzically.

“Dazai, get back to work,” Kunikida chimed in, not stopping in his task of writing up the last case’s report.

“Mmm, Akutagawa-kun isn’t going to work,” Dazai said, tapping his chin with the pen thoughtfully. “Kenji-kun, what about you?”

“Oi quit distracting the staff Dazai!” Kunikida leveled the brunette with a glare now, his tone rising in annoyance.

Dazai pouted, looking down at the blank piece of paper staring back at him. He was trying to write his next letter to Chuuya - it had been almost a week and Dazai hadn’t gotten to see the redhead at all, which meant he was due for a visit from the man. But he hadn’t accounted for writer’s block he was currently experiencing. 

“Well I always used to hate it when the foxes would get the chickens on the farm back home… but we would just fix up the fences and coops before buying some new chickens.” Kenji cocked his head slightly at the brunette, looking at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Does that help, Dazai-san?” 

Dazai laughed quietly under his breath at how genuine the blonde was. “Perfect Kenji-kun.”

The small blonde detective beamed at Dazai in response, which made the brunette smile a little as well, even though he didn’t foresee himself using anything involving foxes or chickens in the threat. Although, he supposed threatening to fill Chibi’s office with chickens could be entertaining… but that would mean he would have to get enough chickens to fill a room, and that sounded like a lot of work.

Dazai was suddenly knocked out of his musings at the sound of the agency door slamming open, causing Atsushi to yelp and jump about fifteen feet in the air. Not that Dazai was really paying attention to anything other than the short redhead now advancing toward him.

The brunette didn’t even have time to plaster his cheesy grin on his face before Chuuya was slamming a piece of paper on his desk and glaring directly into Dazai’s eyes.

“What the fuck is this Dazai?” Chuuya said in a low tone, a tone that sent shivers down Dazai’s spine. “I have a lot of patience when it comes to your mummy-ass, but this is too fucking far.” Chuuya was practically growling at his ex-partner.

Dazai eyes widened slightly, looking down at the foreign letter in front of him to read the printed text on it. The brunette’s brows furrowed as he started, every word confusing him more and more.

Hello Nakahara Chuuya-kun,

I hope this letter finds you well. I won’t bore you with introductions, but I will say that you would do well to take what I’m about to say next very seriously.

We have noticed that you have been spending more and more time outside of work with the ex-mafia member Dazai Osamu. Our organization has been keeping a close eye on Dazai-kun since he started at the agency, and it just won’t do that you are making it more difficult for us to do so. We have an understanding with the mafia, but Dazai Osamu holds enough value to us to break that pact.

How is it that the mafia sends their messages again? Something along the lines of a person’s face being cracked against the concrete, followed by three bullets in the chest? 

It would be a shame if you were the mafia’s next message, now wouldn’t it?

Dazai’s blood ran cold at the last statement, his eyes snapping up to meet Chuuya’s blue ones. The redhead was still leaned over the desk slightly, leaving them practically nose to nose. 

Dazai pursed his lips, not daring to even blink as the two stared at each other. “I didn’t write this Chibi,” Dazai breathed out, his voice quiet but serious.

Chuuya’s glare wavered only slightly, doubt clouding his features for a split second before he snarled at the brunette. “Just own up to it, asshole. I know you’re an attention whore, but this is too far.”

“Chuuya,” Dazai snarled right back, feeling the anger bubble up in his chest. “I. didn’t. Write this.”

Those beautiful blue eyes widened in surprise at the genuine animosity in Dazai’s own. He and Dazai argued every second they spent together, but it was rare that the redhead see the man like this.

Chuuya scanned Dazai’s unwavering gaze one last time before exhaling slightly and leaning back, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Well, then, who the fuck did?” Chuuya asked, annoyance lacing his tone as he glanced around the detective agency. The other members of the ADA were all looking at the two men, their intense conversation having drawn attention to them.

“Kunikida-kun, I’ll be passing my cases off to Atsushi-kun for now,” Dazai announced suddenly, his voice still lacking its normal sing-song quality.

Chuuya’s neck practically snapped his neck to look at the brunette, who was now shuffling around in his desk drawer for something.

“Oi, Dazai, what are you doing? You think I can’t handle a little threat?” Chuuya asked, but it came off as more curious than offended.

The redhead’s eyes widened once again as Dazai pulled out one of his guns from the drawer, checking to make sure it was loaded with the safety on before slipping it into one of the holsters at his side.

“You do know my ability stops bullets right? Or have you finally deprived your brain of enough oxygen for it to cause you to forget?” Chuuya inquired again, frowning when he didn’t get a response.

Dazai stood up, grabbing his coat off the back of his chair and slipping it on, fixing the collar as he finally acknowledged his ex-partner.

“I’m sure Chibi thinks he is capable of handling himself. But being the wonderful person I am, I figure it's best if I take care of it for him,” Dazai said, switching back to his usual carefree tone again.

Dazai forced the fake grin to stay on his face as he watched Chuuya get riled up at his jab, putting his hands up in faux-surrender as the shorter man grabbed him by the collar and yelled at him. The brunette wasn’t really paying attention though, his mind reeling with questions about who did actually write that letter. Yes, he knew Of the Tainted Sorrow could stop bullets, and that while he liked to make fun of the Chibikko for being weak, the redhead was anything but. 

But Dazai’s blood still boiled at the idea that someone was threatening to kill Chuuya solely because he had been spending time with Dazai. Well, more time, and it wasn’t necessarily willing on the Chibi’s part. It made matters worse that whoever this was had what seemed to be a truce with the mafia, but that they were willing to break it over an interference with their surveillance of Dazai. The whole thing just didn’t sit right with him.

Maybe Dazai should have been focusing on the fact that there was a whole group with eyes on him, close enough to where they wanted to control who he spent time with. But all the detective could think was how he was going to make sure every single one of them knew not to mess with his Chibi.

Because the only one allowed to fuck with Chuuya and get away with it was him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like hell you’re staying with me!”

Dazai grinned lazily as he trailed his fingers over the back of Chuuya’s couch, ignoring the fuming man behind him who was currently slamming the door shut after Dazai had barged in unannounced.

“Well you aren’t staying with me, are you Chibi? The ADA dorms are so beneath your posh standards,” Dazai mocked, turning to direct his smile at Chuuya.

“Let me rephrase, asshole. We aren’t staying together at all!”

“How else am I supposed to protect Chuuya though?” Dazai cocked his head innocently.

The redhead snorted. “‘Protect’ my ass, you just are taking advantage of the opportunity to annoy the shit out of me for more hours of the day.” Chuuya blew out a puff of air, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t need a babysitter, especially if that babysitter is you.”

Dazai sighed dramatically, dismissing the redhead’s comment with a wave of his hand. “Chuuya doesn’t know what’s best for him, which is why I’m here in the first place,” Dazai said, making his way into the kitchen to raid Chuuya’s alcohol cabinet. “What ever would you do without me?”

“Get a lot more work done, that’s what,” Chuuya snapped, but moved back towards where he had been sat on the couch before the Mackerel interrupted him by banging on his door at one in the morning. “How long are you planning on being a leech anyway?”

Dazai came around the side of the sofa, two glasses and a bottle of sake in his hands. “Until Chuuya is no longer in danger of being assassinated,” the brunette said, putting the items on the coffee table. “Although, maybe I should stick around for longer, considering Chuuya’s lack of foresight usually leads to him being a danger to himse- OW!”

Dazai yelped before he could finish the quip, gripping his shin where the redhead had angled a well-placed kick at him.

“Shut up Mackerel. You’re the suicidal maniac, not me. And if I remember correctly, you spending time with me was exactly the reason I'm in this mess,” Chuuya replied, picking up one of the many sheets of paper strewn in front of him, clicking his laptop to wake it from its sleep state. “And don’t use my research as a coaster dammit.”

Dazai very maturely stuck his tongue out at his ex-partner, but did move the now filled glasses off the papers in front of him.

“What is Chibi up too anyway?” Dazai asked, leaning over into Chuuya’s personal space to peek over his shoulder.

“My job, that’s what.” Chuuya sighed, wordlessly grabbing the glass closer to him and taking a sip of the sake. Dazai snickered at the immediate cringe the redhead made when the alcohol touched his tongue, pulling back to look at the glass as if it had personally offended him somehow. The shorter man had always preferred wine, but Dazai couldn't remember which bottles he'd switched out with grape juice, so he picked the safer option.

The brunette leaned over further, earning him a scowl from Chuuya as his eyes scanned the information on the pages and screen in front of him.

“These are all fairly low-level organizations,” Dazai commented.

Chuuya sighed, taking another drink as well – not about to let good alcohol go to waste – and leafing through some of the mess to pull out a sheet with a list of names on it. He allowed Dazai to take it from him, as the redhead went back to examining the news article on the screen.

“Ya, they are, but they all have agreements with the mafia. We’re hoping maybe one of them has ties to or takes orders from a larger group.” Dazai skimmed the paper briefly while Chuuya continued to explained their reasoning for looking into each group. Dazai hummed along, letting the sake and the timbre of Chuuya’s voice relax him.

“What are you really doing here, Mackerel?” Chuuya asked suddenly, nudging Dazai’s shoulder as he did and snapping the brunette out of his train of thought he’d been lost in.

Dazai rested his chin on the back of his hand that held the glass, giving Chuuya a lazy smile before answering, “Chibi’s hats must be affecting his hearing. I’m here to-“

“Ya ya, protect me, you’ve said that. But what are you really doing here?” The redhead knocked back the remainder of his sake, before turning to tuck one of his feet underneath himself and gave Dazai his full attention.

The two just stared at each other for a moment, quietly assessing each other, before Chuuya rolled his eyes and reached across the table for the sake bottle that was sat by Dazai.

Just as the redhead’s hand reached the bottle, Dazai’s fingers wrapped around Chuuya’s wrist, freezing him in place. Chuuya’s head snapped up to meet Dazai’s gaze, his blue eyes searching Dazai’s own.

The brunette’s currently unreadable expression caused Chuuya to quirk a brow, but he didn’t pull his wrist back, choosing to stay in the uncomfortable position to see how this played out.

Dazai surprised him again, as he often did, by running his finger along the pulse point on Chuuya’s wrist. The redhead's eyes widened as he felt a blush grace his cheeks. He didn’t pull back though, maintaining eye contact in silent challenge.

The brunette’s own eyes softened, the faintest of smiles turning the corner of his lips up before he finally released Chuuya’s wrist. The mafia executive did pull back now, taking the sake bottle with him.

“You’re so fucking weird,” Chuuya said, but it didn’t carry as much of an insult as he intended, considering his cheeks were still hot from the interaction.

Dazai laughed, holding out his glass for a refill as Chuuya poured more for himself.

“You like my weirdness Chibi,” Dazai said, his know-it-all tone back in place now.

Chuuya rolled his eyes as he poured the other man a drink, but internally was willing his cheeks to keep from heating up once more.

‘More than you know, idiot,’ Chuuya thought to himself, taking a drink and turning back to the task at hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai was incredibly pleased with himself.

He had been ‘protecting’ Chuuya for the last week, which was really just a synonym for annoying the ever-loving shit out of him. And while this wasn’t out of character for the brunette, this time he actually had a reason too.

Well, he never needed a reason to either, it just made it that much more aggravating to the Chibi.

“Do you ever shut up?” Chuuya growled, kicking at the brunette’s shins as he passed. Dazai dodged the kick, grinning in victory at having successfully riled the Chibi up.

“It isn’t my fault the hat rack doesn’t understand my charm and wit,” Dazai quipped.

Chuuya rolled his eyes, leaning forward to put down the stack of papers he’d been holding on the coffee table and picking up Dazai’s coffee cup to hand to him. Since Dazai had practically moved in a week ago, their relationship had turned weirdly domestic very quickly. Chuuya tried not to think about it, because that would mean admitting that he could tolerate living with the Mackerel at all.

“Charming is the furthest word I would use to describe you.” Chuuya continued to read from the papers in his hand as Dazai took the mug from him. The continued proximity from Dazai leaning over his shoulder did not go unnoticed by the redhead.

Dazai hummed absentmindedly, moving away from Chuuya to sit down across from him on the couch. “Chuuya should take a break. He’s going to overwhelm his tiny chibi brain if he keeps looking at all that for too long.”

Chuuya scowled, not bothering to look up at the brunette. “I’m trying to do some actual work Dazai. You should try it sometime – I’m sure your Kunikida guy would appreciate it.”

Dazai snorted at the mention of Kunikida. “Oh he definitely would, but that would be much less entertaining.”

The mafia executive rolled his eyes, taking a drink of his own coffee. “If there is anyone I can sympathize with, it’s him.”

“Oh come on, when I was your partner the job was much more entertaining, I’m sure of it,” Dazai said. He immediately regretted saying anything about their past when a hint of sadness flashed in Chuuya’s eyes.

“Ya, it was.” Chuuya spoke so softly Dazai almost couldn’t hear it, but before he could comment, the redhead was already moving on. “If this bullshit threat goes unresolved for too much longer, I should probably let the boss know.”

Dazai raised an eyebrow at that statement. “You haven’t told Mori yet? What does he think you’ve been up to?”

“I don’t give him a status report every five seconds idiot, you should know that. But he thinks I’ve been researching all these groups to make sure none of them owe money, considering the threat came from someone partnered with the Port Mafia.”

Chuuya looked up at Dazai after a long stretch of silence with no response from the brunette. He was staring down into his coffee as if it were speaking to him, looking only slightly unhinged.

“Dazai?”

The taller man suddenly unfurled his legs and set his mug down, making his way around the couch to the door to slip on his shoes and coat.

“Oi, where are you going?” Chuuya said, confused beyond belief at the man’s sudden choice to head out in the middle of a conversation.

“Out,” Dazai responded flatly, fixing the collar of his coat. “I’ll be back in a few. You just stay put.”

Chuuya was completely bewildered, especially since the brunette hadn’t let Chuuya out of his sight for the past seven days. It had gotten to the point where Chuuya had gotten accustomed to Dazai’s eyes on him at all times, and finding it slightly infuriating that he didn't hate it.

“What do you mean out, that’s not an answer at all- Oi Dazai!” Chuuya yelled, but the brunette had already flashed him a grin and was out the door.

Chuuya sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation before directing his attention back to the task at hand. It wasn’t going to do him any good to try to make sense of Dazai’s actions anyways – even he knew that no one would ever be able to truly understand that man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello Dazai-kun.”

Mori’s voice grated on Dazai’s ears as it always had since he’d left the Port Mafia, but the brunette kept his expression emotionless.

“I know you sent that letter to Chuuya, Mori," Dazai said, ignoring the guard at the door who was trying to prevent him from entering the mafia boss's office.

Mori raised an eyebrow but didn’t give much else away, not allowing Dazai to really judge how much the man knew about the whole thing.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Dazai-kun,” Mori responded in an unimpressed tone.

Dazai wanted to sneer at his old boss, but kept his face somewhat neutral. “Chuuya received a letter threatening to kill him with the Mafia’s MO. And I want to know why.” Dazai stepped further into the room, hands in the pockets of his coat as he leveled his old boss with a glare.

Mori for what it was worth, looked genuinely surprised at the information. But being the man he was, he wasn’t about to let Dazai know just how surprised.

“I’m not aware of any letter written to Nakahara-kun, especially not one threatening his life. I’m also curious to know what has led you to believe I’m the one that wrote it.”

Dazai took one hand out of his coat, making a motion as if it were obvious. “You’re targeting Chuuya to get to me, of course. You know that if you threaten Chuuya, I’ll get involved, and you can try to hold that over me.” Dazai sighed, putting on an air of boredom. “Granted, you were correct, I’m just here to tell you that I’m never coming back to the mafia, so if you would stop threatening Chuuya it would be greatly appreciated.”

Mori smiled at Dazai's bite on those last words, laughing as he leaned back in his chair with his arms folded. “Very narcissistic of you to assume that even if I did do something like this, it would be about you Dazai-kun.”

The brunette rolled his eyes as if it pained him to be apart of this conversation any longer. “It may be presumptuous, but you have yet to convince me that you didn’t do it.”

The mafia boss grinned. “It doesn’t appear to be my problem that you think I would place a kill order on my own subordinate-“

The rest of Mori’s sentence was cut off by the sharp ring of Dazai’s phone. The brunette frowned, pulling out his cell and looking at the caller ID. When he recognized Atsushi’s name, he clicked answer and brought the phone to his ear, never taking his eyes off Mori whilst he talked.

“Yes, Atsushi-kun?”

“Hi, Dazai-san, uh, sorry to interrupt, but we have a lead on one of the groups we think might have threatened Nakahara-san-“ Dazai held back a smile as he heard Chuuya bark something on the other end of the line, even though he wasn't thrilled at the Chibi's inability to stay put. “Right, uh, threatened Chuuya. We’re headed over to where they should be located now, I just wanted to give you the heads up before I texted you the address.”

Dazai quickly lost interest in his conversation with Mori - he had gotten as much out of it as he could anyway. “Alright Atsushi-kun, good work. I’ll meet you all there.” Dazai didn’t wait for a reply, instead ending the calling and slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“Sounds to me like your detective capabilities are declining Dazai-kun, if your Agency friends have found the people who wrote the letter,” Mori said. “Perhaps if you came back to work for the mafia-”

“Over my dead body.” Dazai spoke the heavy words in an airy tone, causing Mori to frown slightly.

“That could be arranged,” Mori said, his voice starting to darken.

“If you wanted to kill me, you would’ve done it by now.” Dazai waved off the threat as if it were nothing, turning to leave the large office. Mori’s scowl didn’t go unnoticed though, and he smiled at the small victory.

“Well thank you for dropping by, Dazai-kun,” Mori said, his tone now sickly sweet. “And do be careful out there. The world is a dangerous place.”

“I’ll be sure to watch my step,” Dazai replied, making his way to the door.

“Oh, and Mori?” The brunette stopped, looking over his shoulder at the Port Mafia’s boss.

“If I find out you’re lying,” Dazai started, putting his hands in his pockets, and smiling venomously.

“I’ll kill you.”

Chapter Text

By the time Dazai had finally gotten to the warehouse, it seemed he was a bit late to the party.

The sounds of gunfire and yelling filled Dazai’s ears as soon as he stepped out of the taxi. Seeing the look of horror on the cabbie’s face, Dazai handed him an extra bill through the window after he had stepped out, bidding him farewell with a sly grin and a, “How ‘bout we forget this ever happened, shall we?”

Once the driver had departed, Dazai surveyed the situation. The building was more of a large aircraft hangar if he was being honest, and it allowed him to see pretty much everything going on inside. Kunikida was towards the back of the structure, dodging attacks from a single adversary. Tanizaki and Kenji were off to the left, fending off quite a few different men at once. Towards his right were several familiar-looking black tendrils that were slicing through enemies and objects alike. Atsushi was crouched right next to the origin of those coils, looking peeved at having to be in the owner’s presence.

The brunette still didn’t see that telltale head of red hair though, something that stupidly made his chest constrict a little. Chuuya was literally in fights without Dazai all the time, and was easily one of the strongest people Dazai had ever seen. But Chuuya was small and easily lost, and now wasn’t the time for-

“Jesus Akutagawa, aim at them not me!” Dazai’s growing inner panic was interrupted by Atsushi’s screech, the weretiger jumping out of the way of a Rashomoun slice that had clearly been meant for him.

“You dodged it just fine, I don’t see what the issue is,” Akutagawa responded, looking wholly unbothered by the fight going on around them; Rashoumon protecting him from any projectiles. He seemed to be much more interested in directing his attacks at the weretiger in front of him.

“I'm on your side and you’re trying to kill me! You don’t see the issue with that?!” Atsushi yelled, turning away from an enemy he currently held by the collar in his large paw to look incredulously at Akutagawa. The Port Mafia member seemed to genuinely ponder this for a moment, before shrugging indifferently.

“Not in the slightest.”

At the murderous look on Atsushi’s face, Dazai decided to step in before the weretiger could tear Akutagawa’s vocal cords out with his claws.

“Now now boys, no killing each other without confessing your feelings fir-”

“Jinko!” Dazai barely had time to lean back to avoid the tendril of Rashoumon that shot past his face and towards an opponent who had been about to place a bullet in the side of Atsushi’s head. The gray-haired boy yelped as he also narrowly avoiding Akutagawa’s attack, turning to look at him wide-eyed when he realized the Port Mafia member had been protecting him this time.

“Uh, thanks?” Atsushi said, more a question than not, looking more than a little shocked. Akutagawa just raised his hand to cover his mouth, coughing lightly into it.

“Pay more attention next time you imbecile. If you get killed it’s going to be a real pain in my ass,” Akutagawa declared, before turning on his heel to walk over towards where the Kenji and Tanizaki were still fighting.

“Pain in your ass? Not ten seconds ago you were the one trying to kill me!” Atsushi yelled at the man’s receding figure. “Hey, I’m talking to you!” he yelled again when Akutagawa didn’t react, dropping the guy he’d still been holding and storming after him.

Dazai grinned, clearly very pleased with himself. He couldn’t wait to tell Chuuya later about his impeccable matchmaking skills.

Speaking of Chuuya, he still needed to find the Chibi first-

His train of thought was cut off by a small body slamming into his side, effectively knocking him off balance and landing him on his ass.

“Oi, what the fuck are you doing? Stop daydreaming about ways to hang yourself and help us out!” Dazai’s favorite fiery redhead scowled down at him, barely glancing away from the brunette to kick a guy rushing at them right in the teeth.

Dazai let out a small sigh of relief and smiled sincerely at the sight him, not having realized how worried he’d grown. But actually showing that concern to the redhead - now that was another matter altogether.

“Chibi seems to have it under control.” Dazai said lazily, leaning back on his hands and sending a cheeky grin up at Chuuya. Before Chuuya could growl out a response, Kunikida’s voice could be heard across the warehouse.

“What were you thinking, threatening the Port Mafia? And an executive at that? Are you insane, or just stupid?” Kunikida asked, pressing the heel of his shoe into the man's sternum, his gun aimed directly between his eyes.

“I don’t…know…what you’re… talking about,” The man wheezed out, gripping Kunikida’s shoe in a futile attempt of relieving some of the pressure.

Dazai got up at that, dusting off his coat as Chuuya finished off the last guy who had lunged at him. With the fight around them having died down a bit, the pair started to walk over towards Kunikida, gingerly stepping over the incapacitated bodies laid out on the warehouse floor with his hands in his coat pockets.

“Now isn’t the time for lying~” Dazai sang, kneeling down to look the man in the eyes. The guy turned his head to look at Dazai, who was unsurprised to see fear on his face, but was a little surprised to see the look of absolute confusion.

“We know you’re the ones who sent the death threat to Nakahara-san,” Kunikida insisted, pressing his heel in harder. Atsushi and Akutagawa had made their way over now too, coming to stand by Chuuya. Tanizaki and Kenji also seemed to have run out of people to fight, looking over in the direction of their coworkers.

“I’m not…lying! I don’t know anything about any…letters!” the man coughed out. “We were stationed here to draw the Agency out and get ahold of the weretiger!”

Akutagawa let out an irritated growl at that, immediately looking legitimately taken aback that he had. The only other person surprised at the outburst was Atsushi, who was looking over at Akutagawa like he’d grown a second head.

Kunikida frowned, looking down to meet Dazai’s perplexed glance before he turned to look back at the man. The brunette vaguely heard Chuuya threatening the man under Kunikida’s foot, but was too lost in thought to take in what he was saying.

Dazai stood suddenly in realization, turning to face the warehouse entrance and started making his way out of the building.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Chuuya asked, having stopped mid-sentence when Dazai had started to leave.

The brunette paused, turning to send the redhead a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes over his shoulder.

“I have business to attend to. Be a good Chibi and stay put for me, will you?” Dazai said, not waiting for a response before turning back around and making his way towards one of the cars parked out front that most likely didn’t belong to anyone in the building. Wouldn't be the first time he stole a car, and probably wouldn't be the last.

“Like hell you asshole, who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that - OI! I’m talking to you!” Chuuya yelled at Dazai’s back, speeding up his trailing of the man when Dazai opened the door and got behind the wheel.

Chuuya wasn’t fast enough though; and Dazai sent him a shit-eating grin as he locked the car just as Chuuya got to it. The redhead yanked on the handle a couple of times until it broke off, but by the time he could go to break the window too, Dazai had turned the keys that had conveniently been left in the sun visor, thrown the car into drive, and taken off.

“BASTARD!” Chuuya hollered after him, immediately moving to get on his motorcycle to pursue the mummy’s ass.

“Nakahara-san, wait-” Atsushi started in the smallest of voices, his ear pressed up to his phone that had rang whilst the two men were squabbling.

“Do NOT tell me to wait, I have to go teach this shithead a lesson-”

“Nakahara-san I'm sorry, but Ranpo-san’s on the phone for you.” Atsushi said a little firmer this time, but still looking incredibly nervous at both the fact that he was about to be yelled at by a Port Mafia executive and that Ranpo-san was calling him of all people.

Chuuya did pause at that, though he didn’t look very happy about it.

“Well what the fuck does he want?” Chuuya grumbled, not as loudly as before.

“I can tell you where Dazai’s going.” Ranpo's voice crackled over the line, causing Atsushi to jump about eighteen feet in the air, forgetting he had put the phone on speaker.

Chuuya’s ears perked at that, turning to look at the phone in Atsushi’s hand.

“Alright, I’m listening.” Chuuya said, leaning his forearms on the handlebars of his bike.

They all could practically see the pleased smirk Ranpo was sporting through the phone when he responded.

“Excellent! I’ll just need a small favor from you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so calm while pointing a gun at someone.

Words couldn’t begin to describe how Dazai felt about his old boss. He was very content with where he was with the Agency, and he couldn’t have made a better choice in leaving the mafia, but…

But with Mori in front of him, everything came rushing back in bits and pieces. And he still didn’t miss the mafia, he definitely didn’t miss his old boss, but he did miss his partner.

He missed Double Black.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my favorite employee twice in one week, Dazai-kun?” Mori asked sweetly, leaning forward in his chair and not looking all that concerned about the the fact he was being held at gunpoint.

“Ex-employee,” Dazai gritted out. “I’m here because you lied, and while that really isn’t surprising, I did make you a promise.” The sound of the gun cocking was the only thing heard in the room for a moment before Dazai spoke again.

“And I do keep my promises.”

Unsurprisingly, Mori barely reacted to the gun being pointed at him. The man just sat there with his elbows on the desk and his chin resting on the back of his folded hands, looking somewhat intrigued at the brunette in front of him.

“A flair for dramatics as always I see. That's the Dazai I know,” Mori said almost fondly.

Dazai’s mouth formed a terrifying smile at those words. “The Dazai you knew is dead.”

Mori grinned. “The fact that you’re standing here, pointing a gun at me with no grounds other than a hunch says otherwise.”

“I’m pointing a gun at you because you lied. Which isn’t surprising to me at all, but I thought for once someone should hold you accountable,” Dazai replied calmly.

“And that was why you were so good at your job, Dazai-kun. You pulled the trigger as soon as you got what you wanted, not caring if there was a better way of tying up loose ends. There is no ‘trying to keep people alive’ in the mafia – you kill or be killed. And you were the best at that, truly never caring about who lived or died, as long as you got what you needed. Well, save Chuuya-kun and Sakunosuke-kun –“

“You have no right to talk about him.” Dazai gritted his teeth at the mention of his friend.

“Oo, touchy touchy. Still not over that one quite yet, hmm?” Mori grinned wickedly.

Dazai snarled, his finger falling to the trigger as he aimed right between Mori’s eyes. Just as he went to pull the trigger the door slammed open, which almost didn't stop him from firing the gun. Neither of the two men startled, but Mori did; however, raise an eyebrow at the newcomer. Dazai didn’t take his eyes off his former boss, nor his finger off he trigger, as he could already guess who was making an appearance.

“Oi, what the fuck are you doing?!” Chuuya’s voice rang out through the tense room, the sound of his footsteps making his presence well-known.

“Don’t interfere, Chibi. This is a grown-up conversation,” Dazai quipped at an attempt to come off as unbothered, but his stony face gave him away.

“Now isn’t the time to be a dick Dazai,” Chuuya growled, having come to stand slightly in front of Dazai and his boss’s desk.

“Yes, Dazai-kun, the more the merrier. Chuuya-kun is my subordinate after all, and I think this is a pertinent conversation for him to hear.” Mori grinned.

Dazai narrowed his eyes at the man, letting his finger slip back down from where he had moved it off to rest on the trigger. “Do you think I won’t shoot you just because Chuuya’s here, Mori?”

Chuuya’s eyes widened slightly at that - something about the cold look in Dazai’s eyes made the redhead pause.

The last time he had seen that look they had been 16. The brunette had been pointing his gun at a man who had nicked Chuuya with his knife in a fight, barely even drawing blood. Dazai had put a bullet in the man's head, firing the gun repeatedly until Chuuya had finally snapped him out of it. It was only then that distant, unseeing look behind Dazai’s eyes had softened when he saw Chuuya. And even though the brunette had literally just committed the definition of overkill, Chuuya felt something break in himself at the tender smile Dazai had sent him. Which probably looked insane from an outsider’s view, but hey, they were sixteen year-olds with a body count high enough to make an escort blush. A lot of things they did looked insane.

The point was that Chuuya was starting to take Dazai shooting Mori seriously. Chuuya blamed his rising concern for Dazai on the fact that killing Mori would be a lot of fucking paperwork, and Chuuya did not want to have to deal with that. 

But there was part of Chuuya that also blamed his worrying about the brunette on those stupid Mackerel eyes of his. The ones that always looked at him like he was something to be treasured, someone worth knowing. Even when Dazai was being a menace, Chuuya still saw the fondness in his dumb brown eyes, and Chuuya felt even dumber for liking it.

There was no trace of the Dazai now that Chuuya had come to know since his ex-partner joined the agency. All Chuuya could see was that 16-year-old boy who thought the only way to protect someone was to kill anyone who threatened them. And that was enough to make him take a deep breath and say -  

“Osamu.”

It took every cell in Dazai’s body not to snap his neck to look at Chuuya, but if there was anything you learned when working with the mafia, you never look away from someone you’re pointing a gun at.

“Osamu, look at me.”

Well fuck.

Dazai kept the gun pointed at Mori, but his eyes slid over to where the redhead was standing. The use of his given name told him just how serious Chuuya was now, his eyes locked on the brunette.

“Don’t.”

Even though it was just one word, it dripped with warning. Chuuya had been slowly moving towards Dazai, now within arm’s length of him.

“I said stay out of it Chibi. This doesn’t involve you.”

“Like hell it doesn’t,” Chuuya said, reaching forward to grab hold of Dazai’s bolo tie, tugging slightly to get the brunette’s attention. “Listen asshole, there are a thousand reasons why this is a bad idea-“

“I only need one reason for it to be a good idea, and I have that, so if Chibi could kindly move-“

“Shut up,” Chuuya growled. “God for once in your life, just shut the fuck up.”

Dazai started to open his mouth again, but Chuuya beat him to the punch. “I don’t know what the fuck he said to you, but whatever it was, it doesn’t matter. He’s trying to rile you up, you know that, and it's working.”

“You don’t understand, Chibi-“

“You did not just say 'I don't understand'. If there is anyone who understands wanting to protect the people they love, it’s me,” Chuuya growled out, he blue eyes full of rage.

Dazai didn’t respond to that, knowing he had said the wrong thing. He’d be damned if he admitted it though, so the two just glared at each other. Chuuya’s gloved hand was still wrapped around Dazai’s tie, tight enough to where it practically forced the man to keep looking down at him.

Dazai suddenly sighed dramatically, raising his arm behind him and waving his hand in a depiction of nonchalance, as if his other hand wasn’t still holding a gun.

“Bold of you to assume I love you Chuuya,” Dazai said airily, purposefully trying to verbally push the redhead away, even though that was the last thing he wanted.

The redhead snarled, but didn’t back down. “If you think trying to hurt me is going to get me to let you shoot him, you’re an idiot.”

Dazai shouldn’t have been surprised his ex-partner read him like a book, but he was. The brunette frowned slightly, annoyed at both the shorter man's ability to see right through him and the fact that he wasn't backing down.

“Stupid stubborn Chibi. You would think that abandoning you for four years would get it through your tiny little brain that I’m only protecting you now because it would be inconvenient for me if you died,” Dazai said, the words almost physically paining him to say as he tried to cut deep.

Chuuya growled, yanking on Dazai’s bolo tie once more to force the brunette to keep his eyes on him.

“And I’ll kill you for that one day, you can count on it,” Chuuya hissed, his tone deadly serious. “But I’ve always loved you for who you are, regardless of whether you were Port Mafia or Agency. I’m just proud of the person you’ve become.”

Dazai froze at that, his heart stuttering as he felt a warmth settle in his chest against his will. He stared down at the redhead, his eyes blown wide. Chuuya’s entire person was focused on Dazai, looking so intensely at him and with such sincerity that the brunette’s gaze lingered a little longer than necessary.

Dazai blamed those eyes, those goddamn cobalt blue eyes that looked like they could see everything he was feeling. But it was the person those eyes belonged to that he blamed for making him want Chuuya to see everything; see Dazai for all that he was.

When Dazai didn’t immediately lower the gun, Chuuya mistook his unwillingness to move as a bad sign, so he tightened his grip on the brunette’s collar. Chuuya knew he could take the gun at any point from Dazai, but he didn't want to attempt it while there was a chance the brunette was still going to fire at Mori.

Chuuya also wasn't protecting Mori because he was his subordinate. He was preventing Dazai from doing something he would regret; trying to stop the man from killing the Port Mafia's boss because of a personal vendetta. He tried not to think too hard about how maybe the one to kill Mori should be Dazai. It just wasn't the right time. He also tried not to think about how little sense that made that there was or wasn't a 'right time' per-say, he just knew this wasn't it.

There was a moment of tense silence as Dazai looked up to meet Mori's eyes once more, the mafia boss's smirk speaking louder than any words ever could.

While that smirk was definitely pissing the brunette off, Dazai had known that ever since Chuuya had started talking about feelings that he wasn’t going to shoot his former boss. Then Chibi had gone and said he was proud of him, and, well…

Dazai puffed out a breath of annoyed air before slowly lowering the gun.

“How did you even know I would be here?” Dazai asked, giving his full attention to the redhead now that he didn’t have a loaded weapon pointed at someone in the room.

“Your smartass detective with the glasses and lack of motivation told me.” Chuuya scowled at the memory of it. “And now I owe him snacks of all goddamn things. Meaning you owe me one since I saved your dumbass from shooting the boss.”

“Or I could just have Ranpo lock you in that book again-“

“Do that and I’ll have your head Mackerel,” Chuuya growled.

Dazai quirked the corner of his mouth up in a small smile, though it fell quickly as he looked back at Mori.

“If you weren’t responsible for threatening Chuuya, then who was?” Dazai asked, though still not truly convinced that mafia boss wasn’t the one who gave the order.

It turned out the brunette’s detective skills were in fact, not subpar, as a look of realization passed over Mori’s face. The Port Mafia’s boss suddenly reached for his desk phone, picking it up and dialing a few numbers.

“Get me Sato,” Mori said gruffly, before putting the phone down once more, not even bothering to wait for the person on the other end of the line to respond.

Chuuya furrowed his brows in confusion as he looked at his boss.

“What is going on?” The redhead asked, glancing at Dazai as he did so. Dazai just shrugged lightly in way of saying ‘Beats me’.

Mori didn’t respond. Barely 30 seconds had passed before the phone rang again, Dazai and Chuuya watching on as the mafia boss picked it up. Mori's face was devoid of anything that might give a clue as to what was going on.

“Send him in,” Mori said into the phone. He hung up, reaching into his desk and pointedly ignoring the two men who were still looking utterly bewildered.

A mafia member stepped into the office, putting his hands behind his back and bowing slightly to his boss. He had to have been lower ranking - Chuuya was fairly certain he’d seen him before with one of the teams.

“Hello sir,” The man greeted, straightening back up. “Did you need somethi-”

It was too bad he would never get to finish that sentence. Though, getting shot does tend to leave one at a loss for words.

The mafia employee’s eyes blew wide as he looked down at the bullet hole now in his chest before he dropped to the ground, blood already staining his dress shirt a deep crimson red.

Chuuya and Dazai whipped their heads to look at Mori, who was looking rather bored as he set the recently fired gun down on his desk, not even having bothered to stand up.

The Port Mafia boss met the two men’s gaze now, clearly disinterested at the turn of events.

“There, case closed. Now unless you’re here to take the job offer Dazai-kun, if you could kindly leave, I have more important things to be doing.”

“What the fu-“

“I had tasked one of the lower division teams with attempting to persuade Dazai-kun to rejoin the mafia,” Mori explained, sighing as he put the gun away. “I suggested that they try to get you to slip up and give up the goodie-two-shoes act so that you would rejoin the Port Mafia – or get fired from the Agency, either was acceptable. It appears that they believed going through Chuuya-kun was the best way to do so.”

“Am I really that obvious?” Dazai asked. Chuuya rolled his eyes.

Mori huffed an amused laugh. “While not a bad idea per say, they threatened an executive, so…” the mafia boss trailed off, gesturing at the man now being dragged out by a few other mafia members.

“But how do you know it was actually them?” Chuuya asked, raising a curious eyebrow at his boss.

Mori shrugged. “Sato had reported to me yesterday that he was waiting on a response to a letter he had sent to Dazai about the job inquiry last week, which is good enough for me to assume he was referring to the one Chuuya got. Now, I’ll allow your acceptance of said job offer in lieu of apology Dazai-kun...”

Dazai snorted, taking Mori's explanation - and his method of handling it - as good enough for him. He was going to check with Ranpo when he got back anyway, figuring he could weasel more snacks out of Chuuya as payment for confirming Mori's theory.

Dazai placed the gun back in the his undershirt holster, stating, “I think I’ll be taking my leave now." He glanced at Chuuya one last time before stepping back, putting his hands in his pockets and heading towards the door.

He paused by the large blood stain on the floor, turning to look at Mori and pointing at subsequent trail leading out.

“You should probably get this cleaned up. Hydrogen peroxide will get that right out,” the brunette quipped, before smiling and waltzing out of the room.

Chuuya turned to look at his boss, who dismissed him with a wave of his hand before the redhead could say anything.

“Go.” The Port Mafia's boss sighed. “I need to go find a bottle of hydrogen peroxide anyways.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chuuya went straight to his apartment, unsurprised to find Dazai already there.

“So, we gonna talk about it?” Chuuya asked, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the brunette, daring him to say no.

Dazai stared back at him from the couch, placing his chin in the palm of his hand as he rested his elbow on the arm of the couch.

“Chibi got a death threat, I almost shot my ex-boss, I tried to make Chibi hate me, to which in response Chibi confessed his love for me, and I – very helpfully I might add – informed Mori on how to get a blood stain out of a carpet,” Dazai said nonchalantly. “Am I forgetting anything?”

Chuuya eyed the brunette for another second, before taking off his coat, hat, and toeing his shoes off. He then calmly made his way over to where Dazai was sitting on the couch and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, bringing them nose to nose.

Dazai’s eyes widened, but before he could say anything, Chuuya closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together.

The brunette moved on autopilot, kissing back before his brain could even process what was really happening. His eyes fluttered closed, reaching up to run his thumb over Chuuya’s cheek as they kissed, his heart doing a small flip when Chuuya leaned into the contact slightly.

The redhead pulled away after a few seconds, but only far enough to press his forehead to the brunette’s. They were both uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, before Chuuya broke the silence.

“You left out the part where I acted on my feelings, instead of just continuing to pine like an idiot. And the part where I tell you that you’re an even bigger idiot if you think you can get rid of me that easily.”

Dazai smiled wide, laughing genuinely. Chuuya grinned in response, huffing out a laugh of his own before it was cut off by Dazai kissing him again.

“I’m your idiot now though,” Dazai joked when they broke apart again.

Chuuya laughed softly once more, releasing the brunette’s shirt and stepping back.

“You’ve always been my idiot, idiot,” the redhead said, looking fondly down at the man.

Dazai cursed himself inwardly for letting his smile falter in embarrassment at the words. He recovered quickly though, grinning up at the redhead. “Chibi is so sappy,” he jabbed, reaching forward to pinch his partner's side, earning him a smack to the arm.

The brunette whined, pulling his arm back and pouting up at him.

“Spousal abuse!” Dazai cried, dramatically cradling his arm as it had been broken.

“Hah? Spousal abuse would require us to be spouses, Mackerel, so get over it. Oh, and if you’re gonna stay here, you’re gonna need to start pulling your weight,” Chuuya replied in an unimpressed tone, gesturing around to the empty cans of crab and the half used roll of bandages on the table. “And you can start by cleaning all this shit up.”

Dazai continued to pout before lunging forward to catch Chuuya by the sleeve as he moved to walk away, pulling him down again to capture his lips once more. Chuuya let out a surprised noise, but melted into the kiss, moving his mouth to dance with Dazai’s.

“Counter-offer – I don’t clean up, and instead just kiss you silly?” The brunette sent Chuuya a hopeful look, getting an eye-roll in response.

“How about we compromise. I’ll let you ‘kiss me silly’ after you make the apartment stop smelling like the ocean,” the redhead replied, sliding his eyes over to one of the cans of crab and making a face.

While the redhead wasn't looking, Dazai’s face softened as he looked at the man in front of him. He wasn’t able to school his features quick enough, Chuuya catching the brunette’s gaze when he turned his head back.

Chuuya smirked at the brunette. “Now who’s being sappy?” he teased.

Dazai grinned at him, leaning up to bump his nose against the redheads. “I don’t hear Chibi complaining,” he replied.

Chuuya rolled his eyes affectionately, but his smile gave him away.

“I guess I’ll allow it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai finally decided he was tired of the game of sending Chuuya 'threatening' letters.

Now that he had forced his way in to Chibi’s apartment, he was able to annoy him at pretty much any hour of the day. It was almost his favorite thing about living with the redhead, right next to getting to see him when he woke up and before he went to sleep. But if anyone asked, it was definitely the increased opportunities to pester him.

The only annoying thing about their new relationship was that it meant Dazai had to come up with a new game of piss-the-Chibi-off to play. He would start work on this new project right after he sent this last letter, figuring this time it was best if it was hand-delivered.

“I didn’t know you knew how to shoot a bow, Dazai-san.”

Well, arrow-delievered.

Atsushi’s comment brought Dazai back to the present moment, the brunette smiling wide at the boy.

“I don’t,” the brunette stated, before raising the bow in his hands and pulling the string back. He barely aimed the thing before loosing the readied arrow. He and Atsushi watched as the projectile flew through the air before shattering a window outside the building they were standing in front of.

“DAZAIIIIIII!!”

Dazai snickered as a familiar head of red hair appeared through the now broken glass pane.

“I guess that answers my question as to why we are outside the Port Mafia offices,” Atsushi said, pulling out his phone to text Kunikida that they were definitely going to be late to the Agency meeting they were supposed to be at in ten minutes.

Dazai grinned, pushing the bow into Atsushi’s hands. The weretiger yelped, scrambling to catch the weapon as it was gracelessly handed to him.

The redhead looked at the shattered window before leaning out and shouting, “What the absolute fuck Mackerel?”

Dazai just smiled up at him. “Just thought I’d pop by to say I love you!”

“You shoot an arrow at me and you call that love?!” Chuuya shouted back incredulously.

Dazai pouted, pretending to be offended. “Chuuya never did understand my tokens of affection!” 

“Why you-“ Chuuya started, before turning away from the window, deciding it was best to go down and give the asshole a piece of his mind face-to-face.

As he passed the arrow now lodged in the wall of his office he did a double-take. He cocked his head slightly in curiosity, before walking over to the projectile and yanking off what appeared to be a letter tied to the base.

He unfurled the paper, making a mental note to strangle the brunette if this was another fake threat as he started to read.

My darling Chuuya,

I’m not sure if your tiny chibi brain will be able to handle this, but you used to always tell me I was terrible at communicating. So, I thought I’d try listening to you for once, no matter how much it pains me to do so.

There is an old Japanese proverb, one that says, ‘love flies out the window when poverty comes in the door’. People generally get this backwards – it doesn’t mean that when a man’s money runs out, he’s shaken off by his lover. It means that when his money runs out, he feels as though he is good for nothing. The strength goes out of his laugh, and he becomes soured. Finally, in desperation, he shakes off his lover. The proverb means that when a man becomes half-mad, he will shake and shake and shake until he is free of his love.

I have always been a little more than half-mad, you know that better than anyone. But no matter how much I shake, no matter how poor I act, you never allow me to be free of you.  

And for that, I could not thank you enough.

Now that I think about it,  you also used to tell me that I was never any good at being concise. Guess some things never change.

Sincerely yours,

Mackerel

A soft smile appeared on Chuuya’s face as he finished reading, his anger momentarily subsiding at the surprisingly heartfelt admission. That was, until he remembered exactly how the confession was delivered.

The redhead folded the note and slipped it into his pocket, before resuming his mission of going to murder his partner.

Because after all, the only one allowed to kill Dazai Osamu was Nakahara Chuuya.