Work Text:
September 09th
It all started with Damian , who had just gotten back from patrol with his father, and frankly (Not that he would say that out loud) he was tired. Really tired. The second he got his skin tight suit, off he walked to his bedroom to rest.
On his way there, something glimmered in the corner of his eyes. The giant mirror hanging from the top of the long hallway wall. He stared as if he moved, it would shatter into a million pieces. It’s not like there was anything wrong with the mirror, it was more.. What was reflecting in the mirror.
The little boy is what was wrong. He couldn’t explain exactly what looked wrong, but it looked WRONG in every way possible. He involuntarily let out a sigh and his thoughts spiraled.
Why did his voice have to be so low? He knew his voice wasn’t very low, and he knew why his body was changing. But it hurt him in ways it shouldn’t. He ran his fingers through his smooth short hair. He should try and grow it out.
Then he lowered his eyes, his chest is what hurt his head the most. He frowned to himself and played with his shirt to make it look like he had something there, I mean he definitely did, definitely.
It took him four hours to fall asleep that night.
September 24th
His thoughts hadn't disappeared, it had gotten worse, actually. A lot worse. But he had to pretend he was fine and wasn’t killing him slowly today more than every other day since some of his family members were visiting again, for the first time in way too long according to Pennyworth.
Though he would never say it directly to them (or anyone for that matter) he was happy to see his brothers again. He had missed them, and it had been pretty lonely with just him, Father and Pennyworth. Not that he didn’t appreciate their company, but he liked seeing more faces daily- even if it was dumb idiotic faces.
Damian was laying on his back on the comically large couch, petting Titus who was sleeping beside him. Of course his dim witted brothers were late, it wasn’t like it was something new, but he still kinda hoped they would be on time this time. Maybe they had better things to do than visit their lonely little brother.
“Hey Chum,” His Father entered the living room. “Hello Father.” a comfortable silent hit as Bruce sat down next to Damian and Titus. “You know how they are, i'm pretty sure i think they think the saying; ‘Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable!’ is supposed to be reversed” Bruce said, as if he could read his mind. “Yeah, we should get each of them a watch on christmas” The two shared a chuckle as Titus yawned.
Not too long after, the oldest children had arrived one by one. Brown and Cass had gotten here first, second was Grayson accompanied with Gordon, Grayson apologizing for being late and promising that ‘ this was the last time he’d be late like always. The next to arrive was Drake, who annoyly had greeted him with a ‘ Damian. ’ when he opened the door to him.
The fourth was Thomas who apologized frantically, he was the only one who definitely didn't mean to be late. And the Fifth (as always) was Todd who used the excuse he always used. Even though the traffic had been perfectly fine each day.
“Alright boys and girls, now that we’re all here let’s get to eating” Pennyworth said entering the living room, interrupting the men talking in there. While everyone was excited and got up to feast, Damian sat for an extra second, being disturbed by someone calling him boy . He didn’t blame Pennyworth for that guttural feeling of course, that would be absurd. But it still hurts for some reason.
“You coming little D?” Grayson said as he leaned a little against the arch. “Uh- yes, my apologies” Grayson smiled, he always had such a comforting smile. “No worries” Damian got up and walked to the kitchen, not far behind the rest.
It was nice, having your family together like this for once. Even if everyone liked teasing you, it was tolerable, especially if that meant he could have a normal family dinner with them. It was so rare but in the moment it felt natural, like they did this for every dinner they had. Graysons sudden words had Damian break out of his trance of sending insults back and forth.
“I'm thinking about moving back here, just for a while. If that's okay with you Bruce” an awkward silence filled the room. “Sure chum, sounds great” Bruce said surprised but still somewhat smiling. “Great!” Which bat in their right mind would want to live in the Manor? Well I mean yeah its a giant mansion with everything you need, but why.
“Why would you wanna live in the vicinity of the Demon Child™??” Tim said, including the TM. “Yeah” Damian said, agreeing, not really realizing what he said but decided to ignore the side eyes his family gave him. “Well, unlike you, I enjoy his present a lot. Plus my entire apartment complex has been infected with rodents and I don't wanna sleep next to rats. Thank you very much”
“Plus! This is a giant mansion, it has everything from tech to the best butler-slash-grandfather in the world” Gordon chimed in.
“Did you get a new haircut?” Jason asked Damian in the middle of the others’ conversation. “No, I just grew it out a little. You did though. It looks acceptable” Damian’s hair wasn’t that long, probably just enough to tickle his shoulders if he stretched it out enough. But he likes it like that, though he would prefer it longer”
Jason laughed quietly “thanks rat” he said as he stroked his buzz cut. It still had a bit of white in a small spot, but it was mostly just black small hairs. It looked soft, if Damian didn’t hate short hair on himself so much he would probably consider getting that kind of haircut himself. It looked efficient.
“Yeah, nice haircut. Grow it out a bit more and the old people at the gala’s might confuse you with a girl” He said, everyone laughing at his joke. Damian pretended to be offended, making a snarky comeback about Tim’s hair (it literally being longer than Damian’s hair by now) but was internally gleaming.
Was that true though? Would people think he was a girl? He didn’t know why, but the thought of him being seen as a woman made his soul glimmer with pride.
The yelling slowly faded out, with no one being the ‘winner’ of the argument. Though Tim saw himself as the winner if they counted the most good insults, he had been able to punch Damian everywhere but in a good way. It's like he knew that Damian wasn’t a boy and was trying to comfort him by being mean.
Things like “your voice is so high, i thought you still were nine” ‘ Thanks i practice to make my voice more feminine’ I honestly thought Bruce had adopted another girl when i saw you open the door” ‘ really? Am I really that convincing?’ -Stuff like that, back and forth. Without Damian actually thanking Tim, of course.
God knows what his family would think of him if they knew how he actually felt, his family back in Arabia would have cast him in the fire ages ago and he was not gonna test that theory. Ever.
He even grossed himself out sometimes, his Grandfather had told him horror stories about people changing their gender, defying and going against the great God himself. It's not like he was one of those people, he could never. He wasn’t “changing his gender” he was just experimenting… Making himself comfortable with new stuff. Testing out his capabilities. Yes. that.
After dinner (and some more insults from Drake and even Brown) They all sat back on the couch. “Oh! I almost forgot” Gordon rolled on her wheelchair and came back in with two decently sized boxes. “These are for you Damian”
The boxes were filled with feminine clothing; from skirts to crop tops and even a bra and sports bra was in there. Damian didn’t pick those up in front of everybody though.
Damian looked confused and he began faking being furious “Why would you think I would need this Gordon?” Everyone started laughing, Damian rolled his eyes and carefully threw the boxes in the corner of the room for later.
He would definitely go back later today to receive the items.