Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hey Besties <3

Welcome to the Trans Captain Caviar Fic
Rated as explicit just because there will be smut eventually 😌😏
Just some notes for as you read cuz I don’t make sense

- Republic Sailor Cookie 1 and Republic Sailor Cookie 2 appear a lot in this fic. Republic Sailor Cookie 1 uses She/Her pronouns, and her name is Purple Coral Cookie(or just Purple Coral). Republic Sailor Cookie 2 uses He/Him pronouns, and his name is Blue Coral Cookie(or just Blue Coral). He also has a penis and that’s relevant to the smut chapters so yeah
- Captain Caviar is bisexual. He’s lowkey dating Oyster, Mulled Juice, and Baumkuchen. I’ll put in chapter notes if anything about this is specific to the chapter
- THERE WILL BE SMUT. THERE WILL BE PORN. IT WILL BE TAGGED APPROPRIATELY. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT THEN DON’T READ IT.
- I’m not the best writer so just keep that in mind. I won’t consistently update and it’s likely that I’ll have mini-series in this fic, I’ll try and make it clear what’s what
- Not taking requests, sorry if you wanted to request something. If you comment an idea and say it really nicely, I might write it, but this is mostly just for me to project on Caviar and write comfort fics

Okay, I think that’s it! I’ll add more on here as needed. If you decide to read this fic, even just a little bit, thank you very much! I’m really excited to post for this fic. Love you all!!!/p

Chapter Text

Captain Caviar smiled as he breathed in the sea breeze. He turned the ship’s wheel, steering the Salty Shark around a large rock, when he suddenly felt a terrible pain in his gut. He groaned and gripped the wheel harder, calling out to his sailors. “Purple Coral!! Come over here!” The woman quickly scurried over to the captain. “Yes, captain? What’s wrong?” Caviar grunted as he felt another wave of pain. “You don’t s’pose we packed anything like pain medications, huh?” Purple Coral looked up at the captain, suddenly concerned. “No, captain, I don’t believe we did. Are you hurt? Blue and I can take the wheel so you can rest!” He moaned(NOT SEXUALLY, HE MOANED IN PAIN) and held his stomach. “That would be great, sailor. And, errr- hygienic products, if you get my drift? Did we bring any of those?” Purple Coral was even more confused at this. “What, needa brush your teeth, captain?” He growled and grabbed her by the shoulder. “Feminine products. You know, tampons and shit. Did we bring any?” She looked up into his eyes, intimidated. “N-No, captain, I don’t think we brought any with us.” Caviar huffed and started to walk away. “Take the wheel. I’ll go see what I can do…I’m gonna fuckin’ bleed through every pair of trousers I’ve got before we get back to land…”

Chapter Text

Caviar groaned as he felt another wave of pain hit him. Suddenly, Pure Vanilla appeared out of the fucking sky and hugged him

“It’s okay bbg, I gotchu” the blonde dropped a bottle of tylenol on the deck
Caviar blushed and looked up at Pure Vanilla “mm thanks jesus daddy” Pure Vanilla smiled and turned into a biblically accurate angel
Blue Coral walked across the deck when he suddenly got flashed by biblically accurate angel Pure Vanilla, and he wailed in pain as he fell forward, he was blinded
Caviar screamed “NO, NOT MY MAIN HOE” and went to go help him

Pure Vanilla was just floating there and they said “oh shit he dead” then they flew away to bone some more pirates

Chapter Text

I look out across the shore, watching the sea glisten. I smile and pat my chin, still waiting. I know it will be a long time before I start to grow my facial hair in - my voice has barely even started dropping yet - but I am eager. I remember, growing up, seeing men with beards, mustaches, goatees. I thought it was weird, to have hair on your face, and to care how it looked. I knew in my head, that if I were a man, I’d shave myself clean every day, at the slight sight of a little stubble. Yet now, here I stand, waiting. It’s…silly. I’m already seen as a man by those who matter to me. It shouldn’t matter how the strangers I pass on the way to the markets see me. But I can’t help but hurt…I know, I see the way others look at me. I can tell what they think of me.

My chest is another target of my self loathing. I still have breasts, hanging, bearing me down every day. They are meant to be beared by women, to feed and nourish the very young. I want to go out, let my chest be free, as all the other men do, but it is immodest. My chest…I hate how it is. I hate how it matters. I hate how I am too scared to let my chest be free, even in the comfort of my own home, even when wading through the waters alone, where only the sea and its creatures can see me. For it is immodest. Frowned upon. It only exists to feed - as I only exist to bear children. And that is how it is.

I sit by the fire, letting my day’s catch roast over the open flames. I watch closely. The time comes, and I reach to flip it over. I let the other side cook. I wait. I look out across the sea. The water glistens miraculously, and I can’t help but think how it is below the surface. Society exists, but the individuals just survive. Imagine how lovely it would be, to be something simple, like a fish. Swimming around, exploring the vast sea…Of course, you could be fished up, or eaten by larger fish. But you probably wouldn’t even notice. The ecosystem, so calm, everything works out the way it should…I smell my catch over the fire and return to the world on the land. I carefully take the rod and place the large fish on a wooden slab to cut and eat the fish over. I begin to cut into the meat of the fish, carefully picking around the organs. Life…life is a miracle. I sit, thinking about the cycle, thinking about how often life is taken. I take away life daily, to feed myself, to feed the people further in land who buy it, to feed their families. It’s just how it goes.

Chapter Text

The captain laid on his side, curled up in the fetal position, groaning.

It was that time of the month again.

Caviar whimpered and shut his eyes tight, trying to hold back tears…Then someone walked into his room, and he just remembered he didn't lock his door.

Mulled Juice strolled in without a care in the world, blabbering on about something or other, but then he looked down at the captain, curled up in bed. “Whoa, are you okay?” He knelt down next to the bed, concerned.

The captain just sniffled, and let the floodgates open. He cried, holding his stomach in pain. “It hurts…“ Mulled Juice just nodded, confused. “D-Do I need to get Baumkuchen? What’s wrong?” Caviar just nodded, wailing. “Hurryyyy…” He sobbed into his pillow, ignoring everything the other said after that.

Baumkuchen held Caviar’s hand, gently massaging his abdomen with his other hand. “When did it start hurting, Captain?” Caviar groaned as he tried to remember- “A couple days ago? I-I didn’t think much of it since, you know, I-I’ve been through worse…” He whimpered and squeezed his friend’s hand. Baumkuchen nodded, continuing to massage gently. “Is the massage helping at all? It seems you are still in pain…” Caviar shook his head, embarrassed. “N-No, it isn’t helping, sorry…” His friend nodded again in understanding. “It’s no problem, Cav. Perhaps I could give you some pain medication, and a hot water bottle to put wherever your pain is. How does that sound?” Caviar looked over, feeling kind of drowsy. “Mhh…Got any meds?” Baumkuchen nodded, smiling. “I’ll get one of my doctors to stand by and assist you when needed. I’ll be back, my friend.” He gently let go of the captain’s hand, rolling away.

Chapter Text

so i know this is like really late, but i’ve kinda quit cookie run
even as a (practically white) latino i saw what the designers did and i was absolutely appalled
i likely will not play cookie run ever again, even if devsis owns up for what they did
thank you for everyone who supported the fics i wrote :]
i MIGHT keep writing for cookie run, but i’m not gonna play it at all. consider it a boycott, but horny is exempt to that boycott. i haven’t played cookie run at all since the *ahem* trailer came out.
and thank you to my bestie who occasionally beta read my fics and who pat my back after crying that i spent $50 on a racist game
with that being said, friendship ended with cookie run, pokémon is my bestfriend now
i have a very silly idea so i’m gonna start writing a new fic >:3c
i’m very new to pokémon so if y’all read it and see things that are totally wrong, please let me know!!! but i’m a real gamer now!
thanks again besties, if y’all do read it, it’ll probably be just as cringey as my cookie run fics. love y’all <3