Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Lapis, Peridot, I love you, but I am not down for another CPH rerun binge," You mumbled, eyeing the slew of messages you received. You were sure the decision to ignore them would come back and bite you in the ass later, you didn't really care at the moment. The allure of a warm shower after a day of working won you over.

You continued to climb the slope up toward the old Beach City lighthouse. It had once been inhabited by Ronaldo, but after you'd moved here right before the construction of Little Homeworld, the citizens of Beach City had graciously bestowed you it as a welcoming gift. Just as long as you manned the light at night and made sure no more gems would haunt it again. You didn't want to ask.

The door creaked slightly as you opened it, and the smell of balsa wood and sun-warmed furniture greeted you. The setting sun bathed your foyer in gold-orange light, reflecting off the small windows and high-lighting particles. You kicked off your shoes, relishing the feeling of warm carpet beneath your feet.

Fixing up the lighthouse after you moved in was a task and a half. Replacing the floor and wallpaper as well as most of the trims in the basement. Then there was all the plumbing that had to be taken up and redone and reworked to fit with the new indoor layout. Moving in the furniture was easier seeing as you had the help of Beach City's resident builder, Bismuth, as well as her friends, Lapis and Peridot. It was actually how you first met the trio and the meeting that sparked your friendship with the three. You suspected if it wasn't for those early days you'd still be living the hermit life like where you previously lived. And not to mention it was through that trio did you meet the local saviour of the world, Steven Universe himself, the sweetheart.

Despite the kid being a few years younger than yourself, you found he was probably the best person to hang out with being a newcomer. He was certainly more attuned to helping a new human fit in with localised gem population. Pearl was uptight at first, though not for the lack of trying to be social. Amethyst was certainly fun to hang out with, however, you often found yourself tired and struggling to keep up with her spunkiness. Garnet was just... Garnet. It took some time to figure out her type of humour. It was all worth it in the end.

You slipped your favourite sweater over your head, chucking it into the nearby hamper to be cleaned. That was a tomorrow problem.

The shower water was still perfectly warm. It felt like heaven after climbing up and down scaffolding all day. Although you were tempted by a cold shower to cool the sunburn growing on the back of your neck. Sorely tempting, but not enough to tempt you away from your warm water.

'I really fucking hope we have a light day tomorrow...' You rest your head against the cool tiles. In reality, you really wished that you could spend all of tomorrow curled up in your bed.

The air around you felt starkly cold compared to the warm water now swirling down the drain. 

The air only remained chilly as you ventured upstairs to turn the light of the lighthouse on. It was a little weird. Stuck between being fully manual and fully automatic. The light was solar-powered but to efficiently use this power it required someone to turn it on and off every day and night. The light always gave you a brief headache whenever it turned on, especially against the darkness of the new night sky.

You could only rub the spots from your vision as you grabbed at the railing. Maybe Garnet was right when she told you to invest in a good pair of sunglasses.

You shivered as your bare feet touched the now cold wood floor of your foyer. You continued down into the basement. Three-quarters of it were taken up by your bedroom, and the rest left a decently sized bathroom.

Though the cold once plagued you, you didn't give two craps about it after you crawled into bed. Tugging the thick duvet around your shoulders, you let out a breath you didn't know you had been holding. Like that, most of today's stress unravelled leaving you to sink into your nice mattress. Just as you let your pillow fully envelop your head, your phone started dinging wildly again, just beyond your reach. It was definitely Lapis and Peridot. They texted you often enough that you assigned them custom dings just so you knew it was them. However, if they wanted you to watch CPH while you slept, that was their problem.

You decidedly ignored it.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

You awoke the next morning to the sound of singing.

'Steven... Godammit, why do you have to do this to me?' This was something you had to get used to whilst living in Beach City. Spontaneous musicals. Unlike most people, you had yet to partake in one of these events, and as long as you lived you vowed you would never do so.

However, it was Pearl's operatic tone that finally made you throw in the towel. It was impossible to sleep through that. Instead, you just decided to get dressed and prepared for another day of work. Maybe you'd even greet them on the way out if you were in a better mood. Your coffee would decide on that last part for you.

Your coffee warmed your semi-frigid hands. It seemed the early morning sun still hadn't been up long enough to warm the first level of your house. You just exhaled, taking a small sip of your drink as you started the ascent to the light. Probably should've set an alarm last night, but one day over wouldn't do much. Probably. Unless Pearl decided to scold you about it later, in that case, that would be another tomorrow problem.

You shuffled your way over to the door, now almost half your coffee was gone. The door creaked ever so slightly, prompting Amethyst to drop her arms and lay flat against the ground to meet your gaze. She sat up and turned to wave at you enthusiastically. The rest of the Crystal Gems looked over in your direction.

"(Name)!" Steven stumbled to his feet, probably without thinking before he waved. Pearl offered a wave of her own as Amethyst retook her position next to her. Garnet simply pat the grass next to her, offering you a spot in the sun. As tempting as it was, you knew you should probably get going if you were to make it to Little Homeworld in time. You left your coffee on a small table beside your door before closing it.

"Morning. Nice pitch, Pearl," You shoved your hands in your pocket absentmindedly. Pearl's face flushed teal.

"Thank you! I've been-" She paused, brow furrowing, "I didn't wake you up, did I?" You just chuckled, stopping to stand by Garnet.

"You wish. Steven gets that honor," You made pointed eye contact with the boy. He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly, offering you a somewhat apologetic look.

"Shame, it'd be a nice day to sleep in," You sighed wistfully at Garnet's comment. You rolled your shoulders to loosen the muscles there. They still ached from yesterday's work.

"It would be, but I gotta help Bis again today," Garnet gently guided you to still next to her before she adjusted her visors.

"I wouldn't worry about that. You got the day off," She shot you a subtle wink, her visors glinting mischievously. Future vision.

You felt a smile grow on your face as you fell back onto the grass and let the early morning sun warm your face, pillowing your head with one hand whilst the other rested on your stomach. Now that today's responsibilities were lifted from your shoulders, you felt at ease to just waste the rest of your day. Perhaps your wish to lay in bed for most of the day would be granted after all.

Absentmindedly, you reached around and plucked a blade of grass between your forefinger and thumb, twirling it around. A subtle rustling from next to you caught your attention.

"Hey," You opened one of your eyes, seeing Amethyst smiling at you. Without saying another word, you moved your arm and let her curl up contentedly next to you like she usually did, letting her soak up your warmth.

"I want everything to stay exactly like this and never change," You heard Steven say. Same bro, same.

"Agreed."

"Here here," Amethyst murmured into your side.

"Ditto," You let the grass blade fly away in the gentle breeze.

A moment of silence passed.

"How's the future look, Garnet? Do we all stay just like this forever?" You shifted slightly to look at Garnet, catching her adjusting her visors once more with a small smile gracing her face. A small smile that immediately fell as soon as you looked over.

Fuck.

"No!"

The wind picked up, the grass around you flailed helplessly, and the clouds above you darkened. Coupled with Garnet's negative reaction to the future, you could only imagine some shit was about to go down, and not in a fun way. If that wasn't ominous, you didn't know what was.

You hoisted yourself to your feet, eyes trained on the sky as an absolutely humungous thing silhouetted by the dimmed sun descended upon the hill. You crossed your fingers, muttering only one thing in your mind -

'Pleasedon'thitmyhousepleasedon'thitmyhousepleasedon'thitmyhouse'

"(Name), get in your house." You gave her a skeptical look. "Trust me, you'll be fine," Garnet rested a hand on your shoulder, Ruby's square facetted gem briefly warming where she touched, like the hothead herself was trying to convince you everything with work out. You still weren't entirely sure, but seeing yourself reflected in star visors made you think twice and suddenly your basement bedroom seemed like the safest place in the world.

Before shit could go down anymore, you escaped back into the safety of your home, closing and locking your door like that would do anything against whatever that thing in the sky was. There was only a second between your actions before a resounding 'THUD' shook your very being. A horrible whirring sound vibrated in your ears and then everything went weirdly silent.

'I feel like I am about to make a very bad decision' You paused, waiting to see if you could hear anything at all. Nadda.

Without further adieu, you veered away from the basement and scrambled up the stairs. At least from the observatory deck, you'd have a thick piece of glass between you and whatever- or whoever was out there.

The view outside was certainly interesting. The giant thing in the sky, the thing that was now buried in the ground, looked to be a giant injector, much like the ones Amethyst showed you in the kindergarten. And on this injector looked to be a little pink someone. You couldn't really glean any details from up this high, but you were certain whoever it was was a gem. Unless someone else got 'pink-ed' like Lars and no one knew and now they were back to reap revenge. You wouldn't be surprised after hearing all the shit Steven had to go through in the past few years.

Watching her practically slinky her way off the injector, you knew she was a gem. No human, not even a pink one could do something like that. You could also only imagine she was singing as well, her powerful voice projecting into the empty air and somehow reaching up towards where you were watching, all while she contorted her body in a manner of weird shapes and sizes.

'This doesn't look good' You fidgeted with your fingers, anxiety clawing at your stomach. All you could do was watch as she coiled her limbs and grabbed your friends, slamming them against each other with brutal force.

You only felt that anxiety skyrocket when she reached for the peak of the lighthouse, barely giving you enough time to duck behind an old box you'd left up here lest she sees you.

'Shit shit shit shit' You looked around frantically, desperate for anything that could potentially stall her and help Steven get the upper leg in this battle. 

Truth be told, you didn't spend much time up here so it was relatively empty, save for a few things Ronaldo had forgotten up here when he left. Then your eyes landed on a nearby, dust-coated baseball. You peeked over the edge of the box, seeing the gem had now launched herself from the top of your lighthouse and back into the battle, leaving you by yourself once more.

You hauled yourself to the other side of the room, scooping the ball up, and immediately opened the glass door to the observatory deck outside, the side that happened to face the ocean. You just hoped she would stay stationary long enough for you to take aim.

However, as soon as you arrived back on the scene, you saw Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl disappear in three poofs of smoke, making your stomach drop. You suddenly felt rather sick.

Truth be told, you were never around to experience any of their adventures. You'd never seen a corrupted gem monster, nor were you on Earth anxiously awaiting their arrival as they battled on Homeworld. You weren't here when Lapis stole the ocean or Jasper first made contact, nor when Aquamarine and Topaz went around kidnapping humans. You'd arrived right after all of them, merely helping gems assimilate into Earth life. That alone was stressful enough, you didn't even want to think about what you might've had to go through if you moved here a few years earlier.

Experience be damned, you thought. Seeing Steven trying to grapple with how easily his family just got poofed in front of him made anger spark in your gut.

With a steely determination, you took aim, reared back your arm with the baseball clutched firmly in your hand, and then threw.

The hit landed with a cartoonish 'bonk' sound smackdab right on her head.

Chapter Text

The gem fell over. Probably out of shock seeing how quickly she got up afterward. It would've been comical if she hadn't just poofed your friends and left Steven winded on the ground after a particularly strong kick to the chest.

The sight made that spark of rage grow ever so slightly.

She left Steven gasping for breath in the meantime, and it was only now did you see her holding a very sharp-looking scythe with a glowing blade which she must've materialised from her gem whilst climbing over your home. How could you have missed that?

At first, she looked around wildly before finally finding the offending object laying almost innocently in the grass about a meter from where she stood. You were honestly shocked at your own throwing skills. You hoped it would maybe land close to her, enough to draw her attention and let Steven get a few hits in, but you didn't expect your pitch to hit her right on the head. You brought a hand up to your mouth to stifle a giggle.

Both you and Steven watched with bated breath as she dropped her weapon and picked up the baseball, wordlessly turning it over in her gloved hand like she was expecting it to come to life and bite her out of spite. When it just sat there like a baseball usually does, she tossed it from hand to hand a few times.

Even after that, she continued to look around. First down past Steven, then she did a couple laps around the legs of her injector then she did a few laps around the base of the lighthouse. She then took a moment to think, grabbing her scythe just as Steven was about to grab it and sunk the gem on the top into the ground, effectively turning it into something to lean on. The whole thing reminded you of an old cartoon sketch Peridot had shown you a few weeks ago after her recent internet binge.

Then, like time slowed down, it was like a light bulb went off in her brain, and in a split second, she turned to face you directly. Fierce, ringed pink eyes bore into your own and for a moment you swore your heart stopped. 

A nasty grin spread across her face as she tugged her weapon out of the ground, getting a firm grip on the handle in one hand and the baseball in the other. She threw it up and caught it a few times, continuing this act as she took step after step toward the base of the lighthouse. It was just as Steven finally stood up after catching his breath did she coil her legs into springs and jumped directly at you.

'Is she..?' You put your fear on the back burner as you watched her come closer and closer, till she let the baseball fall and used her now empty hand to steady her weapon, drawing it above her head, ready to bring it down in a clean arc. All of this was brought to an end as she slammed face-first into the thick wall of glass that separated you.

Still sticking to her cartoony gimmick, she remained stuck to the wall for a few seconds until she comically peeled off and fell into a jumbled heap right in front of you.

You blinked, watching her pupils roll around her stunned eyes as she tried to recuperate.

'Is... Is this really the same gem that managed to poof Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl in one go? Does... Does she really not know what glass is?' You really should've taken the spare time you had to run, but the mere fact that this gem that was most likely hundreds upon thousands of years older than you had no concept of possible perception of glass just stunned you into a stupor.

Too late did you snap out of this stupor as the gem was already on her feet again. She stumbled once, shook her head, and regained that furious look she bore for the entire time you'd seen her.

With newfound vigour, she reared upwards, threw her hands back and grew them to an incredible side. You immediately had an idea of what she was doing and used a sudden burst of speed to throw yourself halfway across the room by the time she'd brought her hands down upon the glass, sending a wave of shards spattering over the floor. You felt a few nick your skin and graze your knees. Just your luck, ain't it?

"Heya! Don't think I saw you before!" Her thick accented drawl sounded like it was right out of the 1930s. If it weren't coming from the semi-homicidal gem you would've said it was kind've dreamy. Her gaze was set on you in an almost predatory manner as she let her arms fall to her sides, her hands now a normal size. Her unruly pigtails stood up as if defying gravity, adding more height to her already tall, wiry, and intimidating stature.

You seriously considered grabbing a handful of glass shards to throw at her eyes. Maybe then you'd have a chance to run away.

However, you didn't even get time to consider this option because this unstable gem grabbed you roughly by the shoulders, her arms stretched out across the room forcing you to maintain eye contact as she dragged you closer.

Within a matter of seconds you were suddenly face to face, flush against her with her gem pressed roughly against your ribcage and her arms coiled around yours standing amongst the glass shards. If you didn't feel the need to fight for survival you would've probably been more preoccupied with the rising heat coating your face and trying not to cut yourself on the glass shards that littered the floor.

"Now, who're you? I don't think I've seen ya 'round before! You know little ol' Universe down there?" She leaned in closer, close enough that you could see your enraged yet fearful reflection in her pin-prick pupils. The most intriguing thing about her was not the almost insane look that clouded her eyes, nor was it the multi-faceted, upside-down gem situated on her chest (though it was a close second), but the thick black bands that ran down her cheeks like running mascara. They looked more like a scar than a design choice, like the cracks that the poor pink pearl you met briefly when visiting Homeworld had.

"Who am I kidding, course ya know him," She barked a bout of humourless laughter, her grip on you growing tighter. "Everyone knows him," Her voice was dripping with unshed venom as she slowly zoned out, looking into the distance.

"What the hell are you talking about?" You wheezed. The gem let her eyes snap back to yours, her grin only growing larger.

"Sooo~ Steven's little replacement speaks! Or were you Pink's after all?" She took a moment to look you up and down. "Gotta say, I'm a little offended. You're not very fun or durable!" To emphasise her point she squeezed you again. You swore you felt something crack, but you weren't sure if it was your stiff back or a rib.

You opened your mouth to repeat your question with what little breath you had, but you found yourself shushed by a single, gloved finger.

"Na-ah, doll. I'm done listenin' to all those little lies ya like to tell me," Her voice lowered an octave, and you felt a sudden sense of dread wash over you as your feet left the ground.

"I'm done playin' games," With a mighty heave you were sent flying through the air, out through the hole she had shattered into the top of your home and fast approaching the same green grass you'd been relaxing on in a lax sunlight not ten minutes ago.

If there was anything more terrifying than the glare of the lost gem you'd just come face to face with, it was the feeling of wind whipping past you at a frightening speed, one that seemed impossible to survive hitting at full speed.

Instead of thinking about your family, or your friends, or even any meaningful last words, the only thing you could think was -

'I really wish I woke up earlier...'

That was right before you crashed into something- someone, at full speed.

That was the second time Steven had the breath knocked out of him this morning. The two of you collapsed into a messy pile, both struggling to catch your breath as the gem stretched herself down meticulously. She reminded you of a cat in some manner. Asshole-y and elegant, moving around and climbing like she owned the place. It certainly didn't help that her pupils were so small they seemed like slits, glowing when the light hit them at a certain angle.

Steven let you lay helplessly on the floor as you focussed on the tight pain in your chest, trying to breathe steadily.

With every breath, you felt your chest crackle, and you tried to focus on the sound of Steven and the gem tussling over her scythe in the background. When that proved too loud for your currently sensitive head, you just tried to focus on the feeling of cool grass between your fingers and the breeze running through your hair, the small things that kept you grounded. Lapis had taught you these techniques a while ago, long ago enough that you didn't remember the context.

After a few minutes, you felt well enough to sit up. You winced at the pain in your chest, though now it felt somewhat duller than before, more manageable.

"Steven?" You swiveled your head, not entirely sure where the battle had moved to. You only just managed to roll out of the way as a bright pink boot stomped down right where your head had been.

The sound of Steven's shield clashing violently against the but of her scythe made your head spin. With a maniacal cackle, the gem reared her weapon back and stretched her leg to kick Steven in the face. Specks of crimson blood flew arcs in the air as she broke his nose.

"Aw, what's the matter, Steven? Miss your friends already?" She steadied herself, drawing back her weapon in an almost casual manner. "Well, don't worry. You're right behind 'em!"

Before you could make an attempt to move she slashed him, breaking through his shield with startling ease. The blade of the weapon left bright lines in his skin, lines that branched out like roots trying their hardest to spread further. They quickly fizzled and disappeared like nothing happened, and besides a broken nose, Steven quickly recovered and retook his stance.

"That was nothing!" You swore the twisted look in her eye only gleamed brighter. A snicker bubbled in her throat.

"Then I guess you won't mind if I do it again!" She struck him again. And again. And again. She kept repeating the words like a mantra, over and over till the adrenaline gave you the boost you need to jump to your feet and grapple with her over the weapon.

The handle was cool and smooth under your cut and bloody palms. You struggled against the slickness of your own blood and the impeccable strength of this gem. Despite both of those facts being against you, the gem still looked impressed, shocked even, that you were able to stand up against her after what she put you through.

"That's enough," You hissed, your voice low and steady. The gem grinned again, a wide grin that seemed reserved for you only. She leaned in a little closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth her holographic body radiated. It warmed you against the biting chill her injector seemingly brought.

"Looky here, guess you were tougher than I expected, doll," She mused, her accent still thick on her tongue. It made you feel weird in a way you didn't like. You could still see yourself reflected in her glossy, mad eyes. Strained, bruised, and struggling.

She tied you up with ease, her limbs easing around you till your hands were effectively bound, though the weapon was still stuck in your strong grasp. Her attention quickly moved away from you and back to Steven.

"You don't poof, do you? Hmm, figured as much. Just wait!" She shook her head for emphasis, her irises rolling around like googly eyes again. "Your human half won't stand a chance against my Injector. Not after what I just did to your gem~!" Her voice hitched in a teasing, sing-song-y way. It pissed you off.

The moment you felt her arms start to slack, probably so she could take the weapon from you, you acted on the last bit of adrenaline running in your system. With a mighty tug, she was sent sprawling in surprise, a disturbed cackle rising from her as you held her own weapon against her, the handle streaked with your blood.

You didn't hesitate as you diced her in half, watching her body slide where the two halves were cut. Still, she laughed. Even as her physical form dissipated, retreating back into her gem. That same giggle still ricocheted in your ears, repeating over and over again as you just slumped, falling to your knees as her gem fell to the ground, just as harmless as that baseball you threw before had.

Your hands and knees stung, and the pain in your chest had returned.

"You good?" Steven gently rested a hand on your shoulder. You were reminded of Garnet. You felt everything throb in pain.

"No. You?" You didn't even turn your head. You heard Steven sigh.

"I've been better," He kneeled next to you, grasping the pink gem in his palms.

"Better bubble you before anything else happens," A familiar, rosy bubble appeared. It popped moments later. You and Steven shared a look with panic once again rising between the two of you.

He tried again. And again. And once more for good luck.

Steven let his head flop back after the last attempt, groaning. He just reached for his shirt, lifting it slightly to get a better look at his gem.

"I'm no gem expert, or gemmologist or whatever, but that doesn't look good," You felt tired.

Steven's gem looked dull, almost a gray-pink colour. There was a single light that continued to flicker like a dying candle.

You and Steven could only push your confusion to the side as he collected the gems. One by one, Ruby, Sapphire, Amethyst, and Pearl were collected and gently cradled in Steven's arms with no room left.

"Hey, do you mind carrying... her?" He nodded his head towards the heart shape gem that still lay peacefully in the swaying grass.

"Sure, just, let me get something real quick," You still picked up the gem anyway. You continued on your original path, opening your somewhat busted door. It sort've just fell onto the ground, luckily not breaking anything on its journey to the floor. You stared at it, adding it to your seemingly endless list of 'tomorrow problems'.

"Coulda swore I left it in here..." You trailed off, using your one free hand to search through a cluttered drawer. Why couldn't you just be a little more organised?

Finally, you found the small vial tucked away at the very bottom. It was intricate, and a gift from Pearl in case of emergencies; A small vial of healing water from Roses's fountain.

You popped the top and swigged the contents, feeling the pain in your chest dissipate, as well as the unpleasant feeling that tingled beneath your skin, probably from being thrown around for the past ten minutes. You also felt the stiffness in your muscles from yesterday's work disappear, rolling your shoulders as they slowly loosened.

Now you were prepared for whatever this life-threatening gem adventure had to throw at you.

Chapter Text

The familiar scent of ocean and Beachwood wafted over you, coupled with the other smells of Steven's home.

However, you had bigger problems on your mind than what type of scented candles were lit on the coffee table. Namely the decently sized, multi-faceted gem that you currently cradled in your hands.

It was warm, you weren't surprised about that. Peridot had poofed herself accidentally a few times on the work site and more often than not you were the closest to her; You knew that even when poofed, a gem's gem tended to stay warm. However, this gem felt oddly warm. Kind of like a 'cup of hot chocolate fresh out of the microwave' warm, instead of the usual 'sun-warmed pillow' kind of warm. Maybe it varied from gem to gem?

But, for whatever reason, you just couldn't put the thing down. Your fingers just kept tracing over the edges of each facet, over and over like it was a fidget toy. You noted that the outer faces had sharper edges, even going as far as to cut the tip of your finger ever so slightly. The largest face shaped like a pointed heart had rather smooth edges, cleanly curving with a rounded feeling. Each time your finger would run over the very center of her gem, a little jolt of static electricity shocked you, like the gem herself was trying to spite you from beyond the confines of her regenerating prison.

"Yeugh..." You moved your finger to better inspect the few droplets of blood now trickling down the pad of your finger. It was like a papercut, but slightly more painful. You bet the gem was laughing right about now, spiteful bastard...

Still, your hold on her remained strong as you flopped onto the nearest chair, drawing your legs up close to you as you practically hugged the heart-shaped gem to your chest. Steven just gently placed the gems on the coffee table, right next to the flickering candle before he started pacing back and forth. The sound of his flip-flops against hardwood was the only sound that filled the room aside from Steven's conversation with his dad over the phone.

Eventually, the teen got tired of just pacing, probably impatient at how long his family was taking to reform. Amethyst should've been back by now, maybe even Ruby. You honestly expected Pearl to take a few days to reform from an attack like that knowing how much of a perfectionist she was. And Sapphire? You had no idea how long it could take for the enigmatic gem to return.

Then your gaze fell to the gem in your hands. How long would it take for her to be back? You didn't think you would be able to stand against her a second time, even after that healing dose you had.

Soon enough, you heard someone rushing up the stairs to the beach house's door. Greg soon rushed in, his face flushed from running and tears clinging to the corners of his eyes.

'Probably worried sick about Steven. Poor dude...' You felt your face crinkle.

"STEVEN! I came as fast as I could! Are you okay?" He almost physically recoiled at the sight of the gems resting on the table. "Holy s-... She really got everybody! Is that her?" He directed his attention to the glimmering gem in your lap. You just nodded solemnly. Steven gave his dad a tired look from his spot on the couch.

"Who-" Greg started.

"No idea."

"Why?!"

"No idea."

"HOW?"

"She hit us with this," Steven pulled the weapon out of his pocket, pressing a button on the handle. The blade illuminated like a projection, and you suddenly felt an uncomfortable warmth across your face. You did not want that thing near you a second time, though at this point you felt it wouldn't do any real damage to you.

Greg flinched and Steven pocketed the weapon again, slumping further into his seat.

"It did something extra weird to me, and now, my powers aren't working right. Look." Steven apathetically raised his arm to summon his shield, the gem weapon in question fizzling erratically like a glitching screen before disappearing in a shower of sparks.

"There's something wrong with me, Dad..." Steven's voice cracked mid-sentence. "I have no idea what's going on," Steven face-planted into his knees as Greg settled beside him. The man wrapped his son in a one-armed hug, giving him a gentle squeeze as he comforted him.

"Well, son, now you know how I feel almost all the time," He paused to let Steven shuffle closer. "But you know what else? Any moment now, the Gems are gonna do that thing where they glow and float in the air and reappear better than ever!" You stood up and walked over, just in case the gem in your hands decided to do just that. You did not want to be across the room from them left totally defenseless.

It seemed that Greg's words must've had god-tier timing, because as soon as he finished his sentence, Pearl decided that now was the time to return. You were surprised to see Pearl reforming first, considering she had a track record for taking her time.

"See? Here she comes. Good old Pearl!" You really hoped Greg was right, but the nervous knot in your stomach said otherwise.

As the gem reached her apex midair, something unusual happened. Instead of Pearl reforming, a holographic oyster wrapped itself around the floating gem.

'Crap...' The dread only grew.

"Please identify yourself."

For some reason, only one thing came to mind.

"Oh So Holy One!" Why you chose that as a title, you didn't know.

"Greetings, Oh So Holy One. Please state preferred customisation options." You looked to Steven and shrugged, panic evident on your face.

'What am I supposed to say?' You mouthed at him. He returned your shrug.

"I don't know, uhh-" You were cut off.

"Default setting selected. Please stand by." 

With a shining, almost blinding light, Pearl was now back. She landed delicately, blinking a few times. The whole scene made her look like a fawn with her big, confused eyes and thin legs. Surprisingly, she had an outfit change. Which was a shame, because the translucent skirt and puffed-sleeve shirt really didn't compare to the awesome jacket she usually wore. You finally found yourself placing the odd gem in your hands on the coffee table as you walked a little closer to get a good look at her.

Steven rushed past you and up to her, Greg following behind in an almost timid manner. 

"Pearl! Pearl, thank goodness you're back," The pearl in question completely ignored Steven.

You stood a few paces behind him, watching Pearl with cautious eyes. Something was off, wrong, and you had a gut feeling that it would probably not help with the current situation. And when her eyes caught yours, and the smile spread across her face, you knew it to be true.

She brushed past Steven, barely making a sound against the floor as she practically tip-toed toward you. 'Please don't. Please stop moving' You felt the sweat starting to bead down your forehead and condensate on your palms. 'Also, please don't start a song. Now is definitely not the time for a song' You felt your insides twist uncomfortably as she bowed lightly at your feet.

And then she started singing.

♫ How do you do, ♫
♫ My Oh So Holy One? ♫
♫ Thank you for bringing me into the world! ♫

She paused to finally look you square in the eyes, gently taking your hand in hers.

♫ I am at your eternal service ♫
♫ Welcome to your new Pearl! ♫

With perfect timing, the light in her gem shone perfectly. You could hear your heart beating in your eyes, and you knew your face was nothing short of shell-shocked. Not that Pearl noted, mind you.

"What's going on?" Steven squeaked out, slowly approaching Pearl like she was a feral animal. Greg stayed on the other side of the room.

"Could her gem be cracked?" Greg stretched his neck slightly like he was trying to check her gem from where he stood. Steven got a little closer, though Pearl refused to turn around and face him.

"Uhm, Pearl? May I check your gem," She blinked at your question before a wide smile spread on her face.

"Of course my Oh So Holy One!" You cringed. There was no way you were going to get used to it. Out of all the names you could've picked, why was it that one?

However, you could see her Pearl was in near-perfect condition. Not a single scratch or crack on its surface. You gently ran your thumb over it, checking for any invisible damage. You ignored the weird sound she made. That was something you'd be locking in repressed memories later. However, you noted that her gem was warm. Cooler than the insane gem's gem, but a little warmer than Peridot's. Huh, guess the warmth did vary.

"It's fine. Perfect even," You also ignored the blush on her face. You really wanted Pearl from this morning back. You had a feeling that this would only be the beginning of the migraine you felt approaching on the horizon.

A flash of red-tinted light caught your attention out of the corner of your eye. Ruby's gem started its ascent, floating about a meter off the table before she reformed. A short, stocky gem stood on the table, her hands held up in the traditional diamond salute.

Steven rushed over, asking frantically if she was okay. Ruby opened her eyes and jumped backward ever so slightly, her feet leaving little burn marks on Steven's coffee table.

"Aah! Who are you? You're not my assignment." She puffed herself up a little like she was trying to make herself bigger. It was kind of cute.

"I could really use an explanation," You nodded in silent agreement at Greg's words. Pearl lit up like a firework.

"Allow me to illuminate!"

She pirouetted over to Ruby, striking an elegant pose.

♫ A Ruby Guard, ♫
♫ But just a single one; ♫
♫ They tend to come in teams of three or more ♫

She projected an image of such. You didn't pay attention because the blue gem Ruby was projecting started floating as Sapphire reformed. Pearl took her moment.

♫ A precious Sapphire, ♫
♫ She sees the future- ♫

She winked at you.

♫ That's who the Ruby's for ♫

Immediately, Ruby turned to kneel and salute Sapphire, her head tilted low in an almost bow.

"My Sapphire. As my sworn duty and sole purpose, I will protect you with my life." Talk about dedication. You noted Pearl was looking at you again. Maybe you shouldn't talk about dedication.

Sapphire tilted her head slightly, something you noticed Garnet did whenever she looked into the future.

"I know you will. That's why I predict you won't last more than a day."

'What?'

"Huh?" Ruby mirrored your thoughts. Sapphire ushered her off the table.

"Come now."

Perfect timing as Amethyst chose this time to reform. And oh my god- she was somehow shorter than before, with a cute, tussled hairstyle that contradicted her usual signature 'Amethyst mane'.

"Amethyst! Hey, Amethyst?" Steven looked like he was trying to cling to his last dregs of sanity. She gave him an empty stare, mimicking his movements.

"Hey, Amethyst?" Ohh no... You saw Steven die a little more inside.

"What? No. You're Amethyst!" Steven...

"What? No. You're Amethyst!" 

♫ You must be right: ♫
♫ This is an Amethyst, ♫
♫ Except an Amethyst is big and strong ♫
♫ This one is not the best example; ♫
♫ Something is clearly wrong! ♫

Pearl shrugged, her eyes glassy as she once again stared at you. Amethyst went from copying Steven to copying her, also giving you a glassy-eyed stare.

'Please stop' You silently pleaded, finally moving from where you stood in the middle of to room to stand by Steven, surveying the scene with him. You gently bumped shoulders with him before pulling him in for a one-armed hug. He just sighed, looking like he wanted to fall asleep on the floor and never wake up.

"I do say, something is clearly wrong," Pearl looked around, moving in an almost mechanical manner. "Uh- What are all these different Gems doing here in this strange place?" Steven somewhat picked himself up, looking like he was on the verge of tears.

"Pearl, don't you recognize them? Don't you recognize me?" He practically pleaded. Your heart twanged sadly at that. Poor kid just wanted his happily ever after dammit.

"Hmm... Well, I certainly recognize my Oh Holy One," Oh fuck you think your brain actually decrease a size from how hard you cringed.

"Please don't call me that..." Pearl gave you a quizzical look before returning to Steven.

"As for you..." She pursed her lips in thought.

One last shining light. You felt your stomach drop.

Then came the giggling as the gem's form started to solidify. To your surprise, her downward heart shifted and rotated till it was the right way up. Her spiky pigtails rounded out till they were heart-shaped, bouncing and she shuffled about like she was impatient about how long it was taking for herself to reform.

"Get back-" Steven rushed in front of you and his father, his arm up as he summoned his shield only for it to fizzle into nothingness. His face dropped and the two of you shared a panic-stricken look.

Out of nowhere, two rubber-hose arms reached out and wrapped around your waist. The touch felt familiar, but this time it felt a little more friendly. Her body was still light at this point, and her touch felt tingly against your skin.

Her body followed her arms like an elastic band, the force knocking you to the ground as she followed, collapsing into your arms with more cartoony giggles.

"I'm so excited to meet you!" She finally finished reforming, large, dark eyes staring into your own. They reminded you, once again, of old cartoons. Especially with how her wedged irises rolled around like googly eyes.

"Um.. You're not mad?" She tilted her head at you, her smile only increasing in size. Her large, wedged pupils only dilated at your confused look.

"Mad?" She hopped up, practically bouncing on the spot. "Why would I be mad at my best friend?" Just saying the words sent her spiraling into another giggle fit. Her shoes squeaked every time they hit the floor, and boy, did they do that a lot. Like clockwork, Pearl took it upon herself to explain the situation.

♫ This will be fun! ♫
♫ Aren't you the lucky one? ♫

Pearl came up behind you, placing both her hands on your shoulders.

♫ Her cut is perfect and she's pink as well! ♫
♫ She'll bring you endless entertainment, ♫
♫ Your new best friend, Spinel! ♫

Spinel only played into Pearl's song, just dancing on the spot and playfully shifting and stretching her body before she handsprung her way back over to you to pose just in time as the final lyrics were sung. It was pretty well coordinated all things considered.

There was a moment of silence. Steven was stunned. You were speechless. Greg was just standing there and the gems had no idea what to think.

"YOU!" Steven pointed at Spinel. He ran over to her, shaking her madly. She didn't even complain, in fact, she seemed to enjoy it if her giggles said anything. "What have you done to us?!"

"Boop!" She playfully bopped him on the nose, not even answering his question before wrapping her limbs around him spaghetti-style. "Now it's your turn!" She grinned, shaking Steven up and down as one would to a drink.

"W-W-W-Would you cut that out?!" She paused. "Please?" With a goofy look, she unraveled her arms and just let him fall to the ground.

"Steven! You good?" You and Greg asked simultaneously. Before you could rush over to him, Steven was already on his feet, brushing the dust from his pants. He sighed, looking at Spinel who had already wandered back over to your side, coiling her arms around you. "I'm good," He muttered, thinking over the situation.

"Hey, miss!" She playfully tugged on your arm, her goofy smile was almost infectious. "There are more gems," You looked where she was pointing to see Amethyst shaking Ruby, "let's ask them to play!"

"Not now, Spinel." You shook your head firmly. She frowned, her heart-shaped pigtails droopy.

"But why?" She whined softly, giving you her best set of puppy dog eyes. Oh no, not your heart. That had already been put through too much today.

"Uh, because... Right now is serious time," You concluded. Spinel 'ohh-ed' and quickly put on a serious face, or at least her best attempt at one. "Gotcha," She nodded and just rewound her arm around yours.

"My Oh So Holy One," Pearl made her presence known on your other side, looking rather shy. You raised an eyebrow and Spinel gave her a confused look.

"Is that really ya name?" She gleefully poked you a few times.

"That is what I was coming to ask, My So Holy One. You said, and I quote, 'please don't call me that' when I referred to you. Is there another name you would prefer me to call you?" She kept her hands intertwined professionally, keeping her gaze averted.

You didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Call me (Name)," Pearl nodded thoughtfully.

"Of course, my (Name)," She curtsied and took her place a little behind you, standing dutifully like a second shadow.

"That's a pretty name, miss (Name)!" Spinel commented, batting her cartoony eyelashes playfully.

"Uh, thanks, Spinel," You pet her head a few times, ruffling her hair.

"Hey, Spinel!" Steven waved the two of you over to the other side of the room. It seemed he was trying to stop the tiny Amethyst from climbing the shelves and potentially hurting herself. Greg was just sitting awkwardly on the couch while being glared at by an angry Ruby.

"Who's he?" Spinel turned to you. You gently pet her on the back.

"That's Steven, he's one of my best friends," Spinel's hold on you became a little firmer. For a moment, you thought you saw a spark of madness in her eyes.

"But... I'm your bestest friend, right?" Her voice was low, her accent becoming noticeably thicker than before. You felt a flash of fear.

"Mmm yeup! Absolutely!" You forced a smile, though Spinel only clutched your hand happily.

Spinel's shoes squeaked loudly as the two of you walked over to talk to Steven.

"Hey, Spinel. Do you remember anything? Anything at all?" He crouched down to get closer to her height. Spinel looped her arm once before rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

"Nope!" She gleefully popped the 'p' and started humming a little tune. Kind of jazzy. Steven froze up at the tune but otherwise didn't pry.

"Really? Not even your injector? Not anything about what you said about 'my human half not standing a chance against it?'" Spinel just shook her head, swinging your arm back and forth to the beat of her song.

Steven crumpled and sighed.

"Maybe if you show her?" You suggested. Steven snapped his fingers like he was having a eureka moment.

"Maybe! C'mon," He grabbed your spare hand, pulling you along with startling ease. Spinel giggled as she followed after you. You were barely able to make out Pearl's startled gasp before she ran after you. You didn't see how Greg or the others reacted.

'Is it just me, or is the ground slowly turning purple?' You squinted at the side of the cliff. It might've been your eyes playing tricks on you, but you swore there were veins starting to form in the ground.

'Oh Spinel what have you done?' You felt a flash of resentment, but she just seemed so cheery right now. It was like trying to be mad at a puppy for committing arson.

"Wowee! That thing sure is big! You wanna climb it or somethin'?" She turned to you, bobbing up and down with a large smile on her face.

"Wait, wait. Are you serious right now? You don't remember anything? Not the song? Throwing (Name) out of a building? Nothing?!" Steven waved his hands around, his voice growing steadily. Spinel's pigtails drooped as her eyes started to water. Her playful nature disappeared as she hid behind you, scared by Steven's yelling.

The sight made him sigh, and he rubbed at his temples a little bit. Probably a stress headache.

Lion padded up next to him, appearing out of nowhere like Lion usually did. He nudged Steven with his nose slightly.

"What do you think, Lion?" Steven sounded tired and hoarse. Lion rumbled softly, giving Steven a rather bored look like this whole giant injector thing didn't phase him.

"No, you're no help, either. At least, I can store this thing in your mane," Steven held up the retracted weapon and shoved it in Lion's mane, only for it to fall to the ground with a soft 'thump'.

"I can't store things in Lion's mane now?! That's like the easiest thing I do!" Steven grabbed at his hair and leaned against Lion, grumbling in frustration.

Your eyes wandered over to a sight just beyond the crest of Beach City. The sky there was miraculously unaffected by the smog the injector brought. However, the very sight of the city sparked an idea in your brain.

"Hey, Steven. We may not have Garnet or Amethyst or Pearl to help us, but you know who could?" You pointed towards Little Homeworld. Steven's face lit up.

"Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot!"