Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The smell of antiseptic is too strong and makes Enzan’s stomach churn as he sits in the eerily silent hallway of Ameroupe’s Mercy Hospital. Doctors brush past him in pairs of two, talking to each other in hushed undertones, glancing at the small group surrounding him before hurrying on their way. Every look causes his insides twist further and he forces himself to look away; he doesn’t want to see their pity. It only makes the situation worse.

Shaking his head, Enzan inhales slowly and glances to his left, taking in the sight of Haruka and Yuuichiro huddled together. It was nearing midnight and Haruka had long-since exhausted herself into a restless sleep from tears that still her stain her cheeks. Yuuichiro’s protective arm is still wrapped tightly around her shoulders, rubbing slow, gentle circles as he stares at the wall in front of him. Enzan couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen the professor look so grim.

Guilt begins to well up in the pit of his stomach, working his way up into his chest and throat, forcing him to turn away and stare at the floor, the lower half of his face hidden by steepled fingers. He can’t help but blame himself, and it only makes the guilt grow. None of it ever should have happened – none of them should have been there at all. At the time he’d been overwhelmed, but he knows it isn’t an excuse. His own carelessness has brought them here and his frustration lead someone else to take the fall.

“What are you doing, Netto?!” Irritation was clear in his voice as Enzan brought his sword down on an enemy coming up on his left. Hundreds of viruses stormed the isolated space within the dimensional area. Blades and claws ripped through the air, attempting to tear at the trio in the centre of all the madness. For every fallen enemy, a small army would take its place. Every cut and bullet was slower than the last as fatigue began to settle in.

“Pay attention, Hikari!” Laika’s agitated voice cut through the harsh cries around them. His patience had already been worn thin and Netto’s apparent fascination with the sky wasn’t helping. The task was difficult enough with the three of them on their own – it was nearly impossible with only two at full focus.

“Will you--!” Enzan’s sentence was lost as Laika careened into his side, successfully knocking the wind out of him as they both crashed to the ground. He could hear the muffled protests and curses in his ear as Laika struggled to untangle their limbs and roll to the side, the barrel of his rifle narrowly missing Enzan’s jaw. Scrambling to his feet, Enzan turned on his heel and glared, sword raised and ready to cut down whatever had hit them, only to ice shoot through him as his limbs locked in place.

Just a few short feet away, Netto was frozen, arms still extended from the shove he’d delivered only moments earlier. Chocolate eyes were wide, stuck in a look of disbelief as a strangled noise poured from parted lips. A blade nearly the length of his own body protruded from his back and stomach, its tip embedded into the hard ground. His knees buckled, a sickening squelch breaking the silence as Netto’s body slide downward.

A crack filled the air when Laika’s rifle went off and the blade shattered in a wave of distorted pixels as Netto’s fusion broke and he crumpled to the ground in a pool of crimson.

With a shuddered gasp, Enzan forces his eyes open and shakes his head again. Every time he dares let them close, he can only see Netto’s motionless form surrounded by red. The colour had once brought him comfort, the daring hue all too familiar with his own attire and navi, yet now the mere thought of it brings forth the taste of bile and he wants to vomit.

As he runs a trembling hand through his hair, he nearly jumps when a hand falls on his shoulder. Jerking, he turns to see Laika looking down at him silently. His mouth is set in a thin frown, his expression blank otherwise. If Enzan hadn’t known the soldier as long as he had, he would have missed the veiled concern in his eyes. A silent conversation passes between the two of them before Enzan’s gaze falls to the floor once more and he nods, hoping it will be enough to convince Laika he’s fine – or maybe it’s himself he’s trying to convince. It’s hard to tell.

“I’m going to see if I can find a doctor,” Laika speaks, and Enzan almost misses it, but he manages a second nod in response. He still doesn’t trust his voice. It seems to be enough, however, as Laika stands up, lingering for only a moment before walking away, his footsteps echoing through the empty hall.

He doesn’t realise how much time has passed until Blues appears on his shoulder and tears him from his thoughts. “Enzan-sama… Laika hasn’t returned yet.”

Raising his head from his hands, Enzan glances around him. Haruka is still fast asleep, clutching her husband’s chest as Yuuichiro’s head bobs dangerously; only stubborn will is keeping him awake. His gaze moves to the analogue clock on the wall, telling him it’s nearly a quarter after one in the morning. He frowns and looks back to Blues, waiting for the navi to elaborate. “He’s been gone for thirty-six minutes and fifty-two seconds. Searchman is not responding either.”

It isn’t something Enzan would consider a problem, but he knows it isn’t normal either. Laika had always prided himself on promptness, and taking more than thirty minutes to find a doctor was already more than enough of a red flag to tell him something was wrong. He can see the concern hidden beneath Blues’ helmet, and knows it’s replicated in the back of his own mind. “Sir…?”

It’s a slow effort, but Enzan gets to his feet, and feels his legs throb in numb protest. Yuuichiro’s head snaps back up at the young male’s movements and the two share a weak half-smile. He gestures down the hall Laika disappeared down earlier with a jerk of his head, and receives a nod in response. He fully intends to return to the same spot, but for now, he needs to look for his comrade. The strain of not knowing Netto’s fate is stressful enough.

Walking down the hallway is a harder feat than expected. His legs were far from receptive to the movements after having remained stationary for so long, but his blood flow returns soon after and his steps become less rigid. As he turns a corner, he pauses in the faint glow of a drink vender and stares at the various labels with bright colours, all boasting hot and iced beverages for visitors to sooth their nerves. The smell of coffee and tea is faint, but alluring, and he turns toward the machine with purpose.

It doesn’t take him long to find Laika, but when he does, Enzan is taken aback with what he sees. The soldier is alone in a corridor near the staircase, out of sight from most that would pass by the area. His forehead is pressed against the wall, a fisted hand resting nearby, as if he had struck the hard surface. It’s easy enough for Enzan to see Laika’s shoulders are trembling, the sound of his breathing sharp and ragged. It’s Searchman, sitting on Laika’s shoulder with an open expression of concern, who notices him, but he shakes his head before the navi can speak and steps forward.

“Laika.” Enzan calls, making the soldier jerk violently as he spins around. His face is dry, but he knows the look of anguish reflected in his eyes all too well. He’s certain it’s the same in his own. He holds out a streaming cup of tea in his left hand without a word, earning a look of confusion in return.  With a sigh, Enzan gives the cup a light shake and extends his arm further, lowering it only after the offered cup is taken. “He’d be scolding us both if he could see how we’re acting.”

Laika smiles wryly in response and swirls the contents of the cup Enzan has given him, watching the herbal liquid move around. “Most likely,” he responses in a low tone. “Or tease us for getting worked up.”

Enzan nods as he leans against the wall and stares blankly at a picture across the hallway. His coffee is left untouched. “That sounds like Netto.”

Their words are stiff and awkward, almost forced, but breaking the silence helps ease the heavy atmosphere. The aroma of coffee and tea blends together in a manner almost therapeutic, and Enzan can feel the burden on his shoulders shift, if only a little.

“…he wouldn’t let us blame ourselves either.” Laika’s words make Enzan flinch, and he knows they’re aimed at him more than anyone else. Laika is a soldier, one accustomed to a field of battle, and he’s better suited to handle situations like this. Netto is no less his friend than Enzan, but he’s already learned well the foolishness of shouldering pointless blame. It lingers, clawing at the back of his mind, but he’s much more practiced in the art of pushing such voices away.

“I don’t—”

“You are a poor liar.”

As much as he wants to protest, Enzan knows he can’t. Guilt has been tearing at him from the moment he saw Netto hit the ground and it hasn’t left sense. Unconsciously, his hand drifts down toward his pants pocket where Netto’s PET has been resting since it was entrusted to him by Yuuichiro several hours ago. Any arguments he’d tried to make were quickly silenced by Haruka who claimed that it was best Rockman wasn’t alone for the time being, and neither herself or Yuuichiro had the capabilities of entering a PET. Enzan never knew something so small could feel so heavy.

“…Laika’s right,” the voice makes them both jump, and the Rockman’s small figure appears on Enzan’s shoulder. Blues is standing steadfastly at his side, just as he has been since Rockman was released from the digital recovery unit. “Netto … would be upset if he knew any of us were.” Rockman’s voice is low as he speaks, but holds a firm certainty to it that takes both operators by surprise. “He didn’t want to see either of you get hurt. I… I know what he was thinking. I’ve done the same thing.”

Beside Rockman, Blues stiffens and Enzan immediately knows the look that flashes his navi’s face. Before he can speak, Rockman has already acted, reaching out to take Blues’ hand with a weak, but genuine smile. “I don’t regret what I did… and I know Netto doesn’t either. He’ll pull through this; just like I did.”

It’s a strength that takes all of them by surprise. The small navi hadn’t said a word since arriving at the hospital, and now suddenly the one who perhaps needed comfort most was offering it to everyone else. The guilt in Enzan’s chest swells once more before he forcefully pushes it away with a firm shake of his head. He’d never been one for pity and yet here he was practically bathing himself in it; he owed the people around him much more than that.

“Rockman, Laika…” Both turn to look at Enzan, a faint hint of curiosity washing over their features. Even in the dim light of the hospital, it’s easy to see how exhausted both of them are. “Thank you.”

It’s Rockman’s turn to look surprised, his expression contrasting with Laika’s calm and understanding nod. The words aren’t something anyone hears from Enzan often, but aimed at him without reason they seem almost unreal. He opens his mouth to ask what the operator means, but he suddenly thinks better of it and smiles with a slight nod of his own. He isn’t certain what he’s said, but if it helps, then at least some sort of progress has been made – the atmosphere begins to feel just a little lighter.

Turning away from Laika, Enzan takes a sip of his coffee and exhales slowly. He can feel Laika watching him from behind and feels his lips twist in amusement. For someone with such a strong poker-face, the soldier has an oddly obvious way of showing he cares. “…we should head back,” he speaks, glancing back over his shoulder with a faint smile. “The doctor might be coming out soon.”

For a moment, neither Laika nor himself move and they simply stare at one another. Laika seems to be searching for something, but as to what it is, Enzan does not know, but the feeling is short-lived. Seeming to find it, Laika nods and takes another deep drink from his cup, crushing the empty paper between gloved fingers before depositing it into the rubbish bin nearby. “Is the professor still awake?” Enzan nods in response before Laika continues, “We should bring him something.”

Chapter Text

Enzan doesn’t remember falling asleep, but the sound of his PET clattering against the polished floor jerks him from slumber. For a few moments, he looks around in a panicked daze, uncertain as to where he is or why he’s there, before his mind catches up to his body and heavy dread settles over his mind.

“Enzan-sama…” The soft voice pulls Enzan’s attention to the floor where Blues’ disoriented expression looks up at him. Leaning against his side, Rockman’s half-sleeping expression is confused, blinking against the fluorescent lighting of the ceiling. Before he can apologise, Blues has already resituated Rockman against his side and the exhausted navi is drifting off again.

As he leans down to pick up the fallen PET, Enzan finds his arms stuck against a thick blanket he is certain hadn’t been there before.

“Hikari-san acquired it from a nurse when she awoke a few hours ago,” beside Blues, Searchman appears, his stance far more alert than the other two. “She did not want to disturb you or Sir Laika.”

“Laika…?” Enzan’s mind is still partially lost in sleep when Searchman nods to his left. It isn’t until attention is brought to it that Enzan realises he is leaning against something warm and breathing. Startled, he pushes himself up and stares at the still form beside him.

The red hat always perched at the top of Laika’s head has fallen into his lap, unbeknownst to its owner. Between his head and shoulder, a small white pillow has been precariously balanced in the hope of saving the slumbering soldier’s neck, and around his shoulders is the other half of the blanket currently wrapped around Enzan’s own. It looks as if they’d both been asleep for a while.

Carefully untangling himself from the fleece fabric, Enzan bends down and grabs his PET, pulling it and the three small holograms upward. “What time is it?”

“Six forty-seven in the morning,” Searchman replies, “There have been minimal updates on Netto’s medical status.”

Frowning, Enzan nods and slumps back against the wall and tugs the blanket back around himself for warmth. For a place meant to bring hope and warmth, the hospital felt more like a frozen morgue.

“Shall I take the next shift as well?” Searchman’s statement throws Enzan off, but looking down, it doesn’t appear as if it was meant for him. Blues is shaking his head at in response, taking care not to jostle the navi slumbering against him.

“You’ve already taken two,” Blues responds with a soft sigh and all three of them disappear from view for several minutes, before Blues reappears on Enzan’s shoulder alone. Seeing the confusion on his operators face, he gestures toward the red PET with an open hand. “Rockman… isn’t resting well,” he explains, a frown tugging at his mouth. “We’ve been taking shifts watching over him.”

With a nod, Enzan sighs as he tries to fight against heavy lids threatening to close. Today marks the morning of his third night sleeping on a bench. His limbs and spine protest almost as heavily, the joints stiff from improper posture, but he doesn’t care. Giving up a bed for a few days pales in comparison for what they could all lose.

“You should rest more,” Blues murmurs, his frown deepening.

“Is father still angry?”

“I’ve replied to him and explained the situation as vaguely as possible. If he gets upset, it is my name signed at the bottom.”

Turning his head, worry is apparent in Enzan’s eyes as he meets Blues’ gaze. They both know Shuuseki has little patience for things he doesn’t seem worthwhile, and they can only hope Netto’s name serves as a reminder for all the boy has done for them. It isn’t often he blatantly goes against his father’s will, but he’d sooner face punishment than leave before he knows if Netto is alright. “Blues…”

“I signed my name willingly, Enzan-sama,” Blues interrupts quickly. “IPC does not rest upon your shoulders alone. Taking a few days for personal matters will hurt no one.”

Enzan almost laughs. A few years ago, he’d have never believed in such an ideal – let alone hear it from Blues of all people. “You almost sound like Rockman.”

“…Netto is not the only one who has helped someone change. I wish to remain here as well.”

With a wry smile, Enzan slumps back against his former pillow and closes his eyes. If he were to guess, it’s a similar change and loyalty that keeps Laika and Searchman there as well.

The next time Enzan wakes up, someone is shaking his shoulders and calling his name. Alarmed, he sits up, nearly sending both PET in his lap to the floor a second time. Laika is standing over him with a serious expression, and something about the look in his eyes makes Enzan’s stomach churn.

“Netto is out of surgery.”

He springs to his feet quickly enough that he only narrowly misses a collision with Laika’s jaw. Both PET are pushed into his pockets as he looks up to Laika for an explanation. Yuuichiro and Haruka are gone from the bench and he can only assume they’re with the doctor or Netto. Rockman is on his shoulder in an instant and speaks before he can form his own thoughts.

“Where is he?”

It takes Laika a moment to respond, his head still angled backward to avoid the near upper-cut. With a soft sigh, he bends down to pick up the fallen blanket and begins to fold it. “He was moved from the surgical ward to a recovery room a few hours ago. His parents are with him now.”

“Can we…?”

“He’s only allowed two visitors at once.” Enzan’s expression falls at Laika’s words, though he isn’t surprised. For as horrible as Netto’s injuries were, it’s a miracle anyone is allowed to see him at all.

“I’m not human!” Rockman protests, his tone higher than normal. “I want to—”

“I was sent to get both of you,” Laika cuts him off firmly, and Rockman’s demeanour changes almost immediately. “He’s two floors below; I know where the room is.”

Nodding, Enzan grabs the vest he doesn’t remember taking off from the bench and shrugs it back on before following Laika down hall.

The two of them barely reach the door before it opens and Haruka steps out. Her eyes are still swollen, but her face is clear and she looks much calmer than they last remember seeing her. Without warning, she pulls the two of them into a tight embrace. Laika is startled, but Enzan already knows well of the slender woman’s hidden strength.

“Thank you…” she murmurs, hugging them tighter still. “Thank you… for bringing Netto back.” Her voice wavers as she pulls back. “We… spoke with the doctors. As long as it stays quiet, the two of you can go in together.” She sniffs and rubs her eyes as she gives her head a firm shake to right herself. “I’m going to go get Yuuichiro some coffee from the cafeteria.”

“Do you require any assistance?” The offer is immediate as Laika takes a step forward, but Haruka shakes her head with a gentle smile.

“No… I’ll be alright,” she smiles with glistening eyes and urges them both toward the door. “I’ll be just fine – you two should see him. I’m sure Netto would enjoy seeing the two of you as well.”

Neither of them move and it makes Haruka chuckle. Stepping behind them, she urges the two boys forward with a gentle push and they stumble past the doorway. “I’ll be back soon.”

The door shuts quietly behind them quietly and an awkward silence settles over the room. Enzan’s body has gone tense and it feels as if he’s forgotten how to breathe. He suddenly feels as if he’s a child again; barely tall enough to reach the top of the hospital bed. His vision blurs as he pleads for the woman with kind sapphire eyes and snowy hair not to go away, clutching a hand that is too thin, too pale, and too weak. All he can see are the blurred shades of white and brown mixing together in a disorienting mess that constricts his chest to the point of pain. He doesn’t know how to handle this – not again. Netto is too bright, too active, and full of life to be lying still and unconscious on a bed. He’s everything that Enzan is not and the reality of the situation crashes down upon him in a rush that leaves him dizzy.

Beside him, Laika is not much better off. Coming from the military, he knows the risks of the battlefield. There is no guarantee that anyone will return from a mission once they leave, but the fear of loss isn’t something that’s ever reached his mind since joining his fellow net saviours. He’s seen countless soldiers in the same position as Netto is now, but every single one of them was always older. Veterans of fights and wars with more experience than he could ever hope to understand, but it’s never been a child. The thought of just how young Netto – his friend – is slams into his consciousness with the force of a tank, and he realises he isn’t nearly as hardened as he’s tried to convince himself and everyone else he is.

A hand on each of their shoulders jerks Enzan and Laika out of their respective nightmares and they look up into the exhausted face of Netto’s father. The bags under his eyes are even more prominent than usual, but his smile is as gentle as it ever was. Neither of them is convinced he’s had more than a few hours of sleep since Netto arrived at the hospital and it baffles them how Yuuichiro still has the strength to stand, let alone tug them further into the room.

Trying to control the tremble in his hand, Enzan sets Netto’s PET on a stand beside the bed, watching in silence as Rockman appears with Blues and Searchman flanking his sides. The room is too quiet for Enzan’s tastes and the rhythmic beep from the heart monitor makes him feel as if he’s going to go mad. It’s never quiet when Netto is around, and the silence he used to cherish is deafening.

“The doctors… are confident he’s going to recover.” Yuuichiro’s voice is soft, but the force of it is enough to make Enzan’s knees go weak as he falls into a chair at Netto’s bedside. His throat feels tight as laughter and concealed sobs fight for release, and he shudders with the effort of repressing both. Laika sinks into a chair next to him, muttering something in Sharoian he can’t make out, but he can’t find reason to care.

Relief washes over both of them in a rush and the stifling atmosphere no longer feels as if it’s trying to choke them. Neither have ever been one to believe in miracles – maybe dumb luck, as Netto never seems to run out of it – but he finds himself thanking whatever divine power he can remember the name of.

With a slow, hesitant movement, Enzan reaches for the hand closest to him. It’s paler than he’s used to, and some part of him is afraid it might disappear the moment he makes contact. A minute feels like an hour, but he finally manages to slip Netto’s hand into his own and laces their fingers together. He barely registers Laika’s hand coming to rest over both of theirs as a sudden realisation shatters the looming fears of the past that have been haunting both of them for days.

Netto’s hand is warm.