Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

FIRST YOU WILL SUFFER,  AND THEN I WILL END YOU. 

There it was in big bold letters, painted on his bathroom mirror with deep red lipstick. Someone had broken into his home just to write a threatening message, and for what? Just to scare him? Magnus’ knees buckled, and he had to take hold of the sink to keep himself from collapsing. 

What if whoever did this was still in the house? He could be trapped inside with a serial killer for all he knew.  

He needed to call Luke. Magnus scrambled for his phone in the right-hand pocket of his robe. His hands were shaking so much that he had a hard time getting a grip on his phone at first. And when he finally managed to get it out of his pocket, his fingers shook badly enough that he had a hard time putting in the passcode. 

You need to get a grip, Magnus . 

He was scared but his hands shook just as much from anger as from fear. Even so, he knew that he needed help, especially if he wasn’t alone. Whoever did this could still be inside, his house was huge like most houses in Beverly Hills and it had many rooms for a perpetrator to hide in. 

He had woken up in the middle of the night to pee when he had seen the mirror so he had no idea if it happened five minutes ago or two hours ago, and he hadn’t exactly gone looking through the house for a perpetrator. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that he would be able to beat someone with a gun in their hands. So instead of looking, he was still hiding in the bathroom ten minutes later.  

He took one deep breath and then a couple of more to calm himself done, his heart rate was still skyrocketing even as he managed to steady himself enough to go lock the bathroom door and get Luke on the phone. Luke worked as an LAPD cop, and he was one of the closest people Magnus had to a family. 

“Magnus, are you okay?” Luke answered, his voice husky from sleep. 

“Someone broke into my house,” Magnus said quietly, his voice shaking slightly. 

“ What ?” Magnus could hear Luke fighting his way out of his sleepy state and into professional mode. 

“Someone broke into my house… There is a threat written on my bathroom mirror… Luke – I don’t know if they’re still here…” 

He could hear a sharp intake of air from the other end of the line, and then there was rustling; he could only assume that Luke was rushing to get his clothes on. “Are you safe?” Luke asked worriedly. His voice already sounded more alert and void of sleep, as a cop he was probably used to being woken in the middle of the night. 

“I’m safe. I locked myself in the bathroom.” 

“Good. Stay there. I’m coming for you, I’m hopping in the car now. Stay on the line, Magnus. Okay, stay on the line.”  

“Please, hurry,” Magnus said weakly. 

Magnus hated feeling weak, but it had been a hard week so far and he was wearing thin. It had been three days since his publicist had found that someone had leaked nude photos of him all over the internet and it had been a public nightmare ever since. The pictures had been rather tame for nudes, but that hadn’t mattered much in the eyes of the public, even though most were supportive there were always those that would hate you for every little step you toed out of line. So even though it hadn’t been particularly provoking images they released online it had still taken a huge toll on Magnus’ reputation and career. 

He wasn’t ashamed of them, they had been taken when he’d been in a relationship so he had nothing to be ashamed of. Not even the more conservative fans could think it was his fault, but it would always be haters out there. No for Magnus it was more the violation and betrayal of his privacy that was the hard part. Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean that every part of his life was up for grabs, but sometimes it certainly felt like it. 

Then there was the mystery of where the pictures had come from; at first thought, it had to have been his ex-girlfriend Camille, they ended on bad terms and she was the only one he knew that had access to those kinds of pictures of him. But now he wasn’t so sure anymore, it could just as easily have been a computer hacker or just another scorned lover of Camille’s. He wouldn’t put it past her to leak them if it could be done safely, but to risk her career, no, he was sure she wasn’t that stupid or that vengeful. And he really couldn’t see Camille sneaking into his house in the middle of the night to write threatening messages on the wall. She didn’t even do her own shopping anymore. The risks involved would be far too great, and then there was the threat, something far more sinister than a couple of pictures. 

The message on the mirror stood out in bold red, and with a quick look around, Magnus realized it was written with one of his own lipsticks. That just made him sicker looking at it. He wanted to wipe it off the mirror and forget all about it, but he knew that Luke would want it as evidence, so he let it be. It wasn’t sloppily written either, someone had taken their time writing it, he could see it in the curve of the letters, and the even coat of lipstick in each letter. Like they hadn’t even been afraid of getting caught when writing. 

“I feel sick,” he whispered to himself. 

He heard a voice coming from the phone “If you’re gonna throw up, do it in the toilet”. 

He startled and hit his foot against the bathtub, he had forgotten all about Luke being on the phone, as he contemplated the mirror. 

“Fuck…That hurt.” 

He could hear a slight chuckle coming from the phone. “Forgot I was here huh? Sit down, Magnus. I’ll be outside in two minutes, and I’ve already called for backup. They should be with you any minute now,” Luke said. 

Magnus took a seat down on the edge of the tub and rubbed his injured toe. “Just great, half of the city's police department is about to see the magnificent Magnus Bane in his pajamas,” he muttered.  

“I think they’ve seen a lot worse Bane; half the precinct saw your naked butt on that movie you made last year,” a new voice chipped in next to Luke’s laugh on the phone. 

“That wasn’t mine…” Magnus said before realizing he knew that voice. “Santiago. How the hell are you on Luke’s phone?” Magnus asked, annoyed. 

“Luke texted me when you called him so I jumped in the car as soon as I heard. We just met up outside.”  

Magnus could feel the tension drain from his body at Raphael’s declaration: he wasn't alone anymore, they were outside. His toe hurt like hell though. He sat there rubbing the toe to get some circulation back, only for a minute or so before hearing voices outside his bathroom door. 

Luke knocked softly at the door, “Magnus are you in there, it's Luke.” 

Magnus opened the door, swaying slightly, both from exhaustion and from the adrenaline leaving his body. Luke reached out his hand to steady him, his piercing gaze watching him, making sure he wasn’t seriously injured or about to faint.  

After a few seconds wait, Luke seemed satisfied that Magnus wasn’t about to nosedive into the sink and led Magnus back into the bedroom and urged him to sit down on the bed. 

“Raphael will help you pack your belongings, okay? You can’t stay here tonight.” 

As he would ever want to, after what had just happened. 

“I’m just going to take a look at that mirror,” Luke looked at him questioningly and Magnus nodded. He patted Magnus lightly on the arm and walked off to the bathroom. 

Magnus sat quietly on the bed, his head spinning with unanswered questions until Raphael walked in a few moments later. He looked at Magnus and attempted something Magnus guessed was an attempt at a reassuring smile, his normally blank facial expression was even mixed with a hint of worry. Magnus couldn’t help but wonder if that was some sort of record in number of feelings displayed on Raphael’s face all at once, so he tried to smile a little in response, but it mostly felt like he made some sort of grimace.

“Try not to smile more tonight Bane, it might scare the fans away,” Raphael said dryly. 

 Magnus snorted, but let the rest remain unsaid. The last thing he needed right now was a group of fans waiting outside. 

“I’ve already got Chairman, he’s outside with one of the policemen.” 

A surge of relief went through him at that, followed by a sense of gratefulness that his beloved cat was safe at least. Chairman Meow was his baby, and it was hard to imagine something happening to his grumpy little fluffball. But as it was the whole thing had made him exhausted, and he couldn’t muster the strength for more than a small nod in appreciation for it all. The emotional toll of it all was simply too much to deal with right then.

But Raphael seemed unfazed, he just nodded curtly towards Magnus and began to pack Magnus’ bags for him. That was the great thing with Raphael, he wasn’t a big talker, he absolutely couldn’t stand bullshit of any kind, and he was a pain in Magnus' ass most of the time, but he was also a great friend, and a great manager even though he tried to hide it, most of the time. 

Raphael also knew Magnus very well, as he was one of Magnus’ closest friends, so he was more than equipped to pack Magnus’ bag for the week. Knowing what Magnus would need and want with him for the coming week. He also knew Magnus’ schedule better than he himself did. 

Multiple policemen were walking past Magnus, to look inside the bathroom, they took photographs and collected evidence, and then they wanted to know if Magnus touched the mirror, as if. They then wanted his clothes, his fingerprints, and even a sample of his hair. After an hour of endlessly answering questions, Magnus wanted nothing more than to scream in frustration. He knew they were only there to do their jobs but all he wanted to do was find a hotel, get a room, and sleep. 

Luke came out a couple of times to check on him. But even as Magnus’ whined a little at the injustice of it all (He was a bit dramatic sue him), Luke didn’t budge from doing things by the book. 

Raphael had packed all of Magnus’ suitcases and put them outside in the car, together with Chairman Meow, and now Magnus was itching to leave. He longed for his silk pajamas and his grumpy but still surprisingly cuddly cat. 

“You are free to go, Magnus,” Luke said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “Go with Raphael and get some sleep, and we’ll talk later okay?”

Magnus nodded, “Thank you, Luke.”

He was completely drained, he didn’t even have it in him to ask any questions about what they had found. 

He walked out and found Raphael talking to one of the officers, Magnus thought his name was Alaric but at this point, he was barely sure what was up and what was down. The exhaustion of tonight and from the rest of the week's events had taken its toll, and now after all the adrenaline had left his body he was about to crash completely. 

Raphael said a quick goodbye to the officer and walked up to Magnus, “Come on Bane, let's get you out of here.”

They drove in silence to the hotel that Raphael had booked for him, he would be staying there too, even though he had a home located close to Magnus’ house. He said he wanted to be in the next room if something were to happen. 

He then helped Magnus up to the hotel room and said good night. After the door closed, Magnus barely got his clothes off before his head hit the pillow and he fell into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

“Lightwood, in my office now!” 

Imogen Herondale was an intimidating woman; she had a calculating piercing stare, her voice hard enough to demand things from even the angels themselves. She always carried herself with a calm sort of confidence and she never ever wavered under the enormous pressure that came with being the director of the FBI’s New York division. She sent fear into criminals all over the US and she had earned that respect by being one of the fiercest agents of all time. She was just as much a woman to fear and respect, as she was likely to end up being anyone's favorite guest at the dinner table. 

Alec knew that It was never a good sign to be called into Director Herondales’s office. Usually, it meant one of two things; either you were in serious trouble because of something you had done wrong, or you were about to be sent into trouble, as any mission the director herself sent you on was never a good one.  

Alec stood up, as his desk was situated in the middle of the bullpen, he got more than one curious eye as he walked up to Herondale’s office. He knew there would be a betting pool about him as soon as he closed the door. He tried to shake off the tenseness in his shoulders before walking in, he didn’t want to show any signs of discomfort in front of the director.

“Close the door,” she said, Director Herondale’s voice not showing even the tiniest trace of hint as to why this was a closed-door conversation. Alec rubbed his thumb against his index finger nervously, an unfortunate nervous tick he’d never been able to erase, but at least it was easy to hide. As long as he was standing at parade rest, both his hands were hidden from Imogen's eyes. 

“Sit down, Lightwood,” Imogen said, pointing to the chair on the other side of the desk. 

Alec gave a curt nod and sat down. 

She eyed Alec with her piercing stare; Alec knew he was being sized up, but for what he had no idea. She had never voiced any concerns regarding him before, but he couldn’t be sure he hadn’t messed up somewhere. 

“I have a new assignment for you. it’s a high-profile one,” she paused. And if Imogen hadn’t been one of the stiffest people on the planet you could almost have taken it as a break for dramatic effect. 

High profile was code for don't screw it up so Alec nodded to show he’d understood. 

She slid a fairly thick black file over the desk towards Alec and motioned for him to open it. On top was a photo of Magnus Bane, world-famous actor. Alec recognized him immediately, his sister loved pop culture in all its forms and he had been subjected to one or two of his movies before. 

“Mr. Bane has, during the last month, received multiple threats both against him in his profession as an actor and against him privately. Unfortunately, the threats against Mr. Bane are serious enough at this point that his life is in danger. You will act as his protective detail until further notice.”  

Protective detail? That was definitely not something the FBI did under normal circumstances. 

Alec frowned as he read the case file, “no disrespect, Director Herondale, but what aren’t you telling me? The FBI doesn’t usually offer their services as bodyguards. At least not for a couple of threats.” 

Imogen's eyes glinted, almost as if she approved of Alec's inquiry. 

“Mr. Bane is Asmodeus Bane’s son… it’s not something that’s widely known, but I’m sure you can understand the repercussions that would occur if something were to happen to him and Asmodeus disapproved or if the information about their relations came out. Even where he is at the moment, his web is still far and wide. We don’t want a gang war of that magnitude on our hands,” Imogen answered. 

Alec looked thoughtful. “So we know who's threatening him then? Is it a rival gang?” Alec asked. 

Imogen seemed reluctant to answer, “Well no. It’s all speculation at this point… Your second job will be to help us solve this, Lightwood. You will have an opening into what Mr. Bane knows, use it. We only get one shot at this, save Mr. Bane’s life, and stop the possibility of a gang war on our streets.” 

Alec nodded, determined to solve this. 

Imogen seemed pleased. “Good. It’s a long-term assignment as you might have guessed, you will work undercover as a stunt coordinator at Mr. Bane’s set during the day, so you can keep an eye on him without raising suspicion. And then you will live with Mr. Bane at his penthouse; don’t let him out of your sight.” 

Alec sighed, he valued his privacy, and living with someone, a stranger, no less Magnus Bane would be tough. But he understood the importance of the mission and he would do his best to make it work. 

He nodded yet again, to show he had understood. 

“And before I forget. Jace and Isabelle will be working with you on this assignment, we need more than one ear to the ground on this one. Jace will be working at the production studio as a security guard and Isabelle will be working as an assistant in the costume department. I’ve also offered up your services to the studio as extras in the show. Only the show's director and producer know why you are there outside of Magnus. Let's keep it that way, shall we?” 

Imogen closed the file and handed it over to him standing up, thus showing Alec that time was up. 

“Everything else you need to know is in the file. Luke Garroway, the cop that’s been handling Magnus Bane’s case, is expecting your call. I will brief Jace and Isabelle later today, and you can all have a debriefing in the morning. I’m counting on you Alec, don’t let me down,” Imogen said, shaking his hand before showing him the door. 

---—||-----

It had been two weeks since the incident at Magnus’ LA home. He had stayed in LA for the first week after it happened, as he had to finish filming his latest movie “P rince of Hell,” before he left. After which he was rather happy to leave since the city had left a bad taste in his mouth.

So he had packed up his stuff and moved back to New York, a couple of weeks before he had to, but Ragnor had been happy to have him there and had even arranged to start filming a week earlier. They were about to start filming the second season of “Shadow World”  the tv series that had helped make Magnus a superstar . He hadn’t initially thought about staying in New York for more than a couple of months, but now he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to go back to LA. He was happy he had kept his old loft in Brooklyn when he decided to try his luck in LA a little over two years ago. 

Luke and Raphael had both gone with him to New York, Raphael to keep an eye on him as his manager and Luke to hand over the case to the New York police department. At least that’s what Magnus had thought before today. 

Magnus stared in disbelief at Luke “You can't be serious? I barely have any privacy as it is, and now you want an FBI agent to move in here?”

“It’s not forever, Magnus. But things are escalating and this is the best way to keep you safe.” 

Magnus huffed irritatedly, crossing his arms over his chest. “First off, I don’t need a babysitter. And secondly, freaking FBI? You have to be kidding.”

Luke took a deep breath. “Magnus please be realistic. The threats are real, for god's sake they broke into your car yesterday just to scare you to quit and go into hiding.” 

“Magnus, stop being a baby and think about this. We’re just trying to protect you,” Raphael interrupted. 

“I’m not going into hiding,” Magnus answered defensively. 

“I know that Magnus and we are not asking you to. But we need to protect you, and Alec Lightwood is a great agent, and frankly, he’s your best shot to solve this mess,” Luke said. 

Magnus sighed, unfolding his arms, “How am I even supposed to have him around without people noticing him at the studio?”

Luke patted the seat next to him on the couch, his eyes pleading with Magnus to sit down. Magnus stared back but eventually gave in. 

“He’s going to work as a stunt coordinator on the set. I promise, Magnus, he’s not going to destroy your life. Alec’s there to put a stop to all this so that your life can go back to normal. Please,” Luke pleaded. 

Magnus leaned back and closed his eyes; why was this happening to him? Who hated him so much that they wanted to destroy his career and possibly kill him? He felt tired down to his bones, his body, and soul, he hadn’t had a good week’s rest in a long time. 

Magnus rubbed over his eyebrows in a calming motion, trying to get his thoughts in order. He knew Luke and Raphael only wanted to protect him, and he didn’t want to upset them, but it was his life they were talking about and he didn’t even know this Lightwood guy. It would be better if it was Luke, but apparently, he wasn’t qualified enough. 

“Magnus, think about the cast, think about Ragnor; they would be better protected if Alec and his colleagues were there,” Raphael said. 

Magnus sighed, he knew there wasn’t really a choice, but that didn’t make it any easier to come to terms with the situation. How does one come to terms with the fact that someone wants to destroy their life? 

His life was hard enough without this. 

“When am I supposed to meet this Agent Lightwood, then?” Magnus asked, defeated. 

Luke smiled, alleviated, “He will be here tomorrow.”

Magnus nodded, he had one last night for himself and he was going to make the most of it. 

“Alright gentlemen if you don’t mind I’m going to draw myself a bath, if this is my last night in freedom for a while I’m going to make the most of it.”

Luke chuckled, “We get it, we’ll get out of your way.” He patted Raphael on the back and they both stood up. 

“I have stationed two cops in a car outside the building. And don’t worry they are ‘hiding’; no one knows they are out there or why.” 

“Good. Talk to you both tomorrow then.” 

Luke gave a small wave, “See you tomorrow Magnus, have a good night”. Raphael walked off, his only goodbye a small nod as their eyes met. 

Magnus went into the bathroom and began the task of filling up the tub with scalding hot water and a lavender-scented bath bomb. He could feel the tension easing slightly as the scent started filling the space and the mirror started to fog due to the hot water. 

A few minutes later he gladly sank down into the hot water and let out a deep sigh. This was just what he needed. He focused on going through tomorrow's script in his head and tried, for a little while, to forget the mess he was in. 

—--||----

Magnus had flown to New York as soon as his last day of filming in LA had ended and had, according to Luke, decided to move into his Brooklyn loft indefinitely. Showing no desire to move back to LA after what had happened. For which Alec was more than pleased. He detested LA and everything the city stood for. Also, the second season of Shadowworld that Magnus starred in was about to begin filming here in New York, so it made sense for him to live here for at least the next few months. So not only was Alec happy he didn’t have to move to LA for the time being, but he was also thankful that it made his life a bit easier, as an apartment building was much harder to break into than a house, and he also knew his way around the city, which in any assignment was important if something were to happen. 

It was a beautiful evening outside when Alec approached Magnus' apartment building in Brooklyn. It was almost a shame to go inside on a night like this one, the stars twinkled brightly in the sky, a warm summer breeze still tingling in the air, even though it had been hours since sundown.

He, Jace, and Izzy had spent the day debriefing, drawing up plans for which people to investigate first, and getting their cover stories synchronized. They knew that there was a big likelihood for people to notice the resemblance between Alec and Izzy so they decided to be honest about them being siblings. However, they decided to lie about Jace being their brother, knowing that the more of themselves they revealed the easier for people to find the truth about them and why they were there. Jace would go by Wayland instead of Lightwood to keep them separate. 

Magnus lived in the tenth-floor penthouse apartment; there was no security besides the doorman and the only cameras in the whole building were one in the elevator and one on every floor. But at least the penthouse meant it was harder to break in: the higher up, the harder it gets to break in. 

Alec knocked on the door gently, he knew that Luke, the policeman that had contacted the bureau in the first place, had been informed that he was about to arrive. 

A tall, broad man opened the door, they were almost the same height but Alec could tell he was just that little bit taller. The man had kind brown eyes, whilst the rest of his face looked rather hesitant, but that was most probably due to the uncertainty of the situation, Alec could tell that this was a man that was used to commanding respect. He was dressed in all dark clothes and Alec could see the slight shine of his police badge attached to the belt. This man had to be Luke. 

“Hi, I’m agent Alec Lightwood,” Alec said, holding up his badge for Luke to inspect. 

Luke scanned the badge closely before opening the door more widely. “Hi, I’m Luke Garroway. Nice to meet you Agent Lightwood,” Luke answered and held out a hand for Alec to shake. 

“Alec is fine,” he said and shook Luke's hand. 

“Please come in,” Luke said, showing Alec inside the loft. 

The loft was homely decorated in warm rich colors and filled with trinkets, photos, books, and souvenirs from different parts of the world. He guessed that Magnus had probably traveled all over the world in his job but it was still very different from what Alec had expected from a tv-star. He would have guessed most of them lived in ultra-modern apartments with sleek white furniture and not a photograph in sight. Clearly, Magnus Bane wasn’t exactly as he’d expected. 

A gorgeous-looking man was standing close to the living room windows, the light from the moon reflected in the man’s necklaces, and in the shine of his shirt, and as he looked up Alec recognized him immediately. 

Magnus Bane. 

Magnus Bane’s jet-black hair was spiked up in a mohawk-looking manner, with blue highlights and sprinkled with glitter. His shirt was in some shiny blue material matching the streaks in his hair perfectly and he had black slacks that were tight enough to border on indecent. 

Alec swallowed and rubbed his sweaty palms discreetly on his pants as he moved into the apartment. His eyes lingered on the actor for a few seconds longer than socially acceptable. Magnus was gorgeous. 

Magnus' lips were set in a confident smirk that Alec was sure the actor had practiced in front of the mirror thousands of times before. But Alec could see the truth behind Magnus’ well-practiced facade. His kohl-rimmed eyes watched Alec cautiously, as he stepped further into the apartment. Alec could see that Magnus was more nervous about the encounter than the famous actor wanted to admit, a fake smile still plastered on his lips. 

He could only hope that it would soon be replaced with a real one, or the next couple of weeks potentially months would be hard, to say the least. 

Magnus walked over and extended his bejeweled hand with a forced smile, “I’m Magnus Bane, nice to meet you Agent Lightwood.” His hand felt smooth and warm to the touch, except for the coolness coming from his many rings. 

“Alec, please. And you too Mr. Bane,” Alec answered stiffly. He had always hated small talk and these formal introductions. It reminded him too much of his childhood.  

“Okey Alexander, please call me Magnus, no need to be formal since we’ll be seeing a lot of each other,” he let his gaze wander over Alec, “hopefully a lot more.” He said with a wink.

Alec choked on air, his cheeks heating up at the insinuation of what Magnus had said. 

He might be able to read Magnus’ cocky demeanor for what it was, but that didn’t mean Alec was immune to him. Magnus was incredibly hot. 

Magnus smirked and let his finger trail over Alec’s shirt, “I wonder how far that blush spreads.” 

Too far. 

Alec’s blush intensified tenfold at that. 

Magnus' eyes lit up and his smirk transformed into a feral grin, obviously pleased with Alec’s reaction, “I think I will enjoy living with you pretty boy.”

“It’s Alec.”

“Hmm, we will see,” Magnus answered, his eyes glinting mischievously. 

Alec turned around towards Luke, his cheeks still pink, “Detective Garroway, is there anything we need to discuss?”

Luke tried to hide his amused smile and nodded toward Alec. 

“Two officers are placed in a car outside of the building, they move the car at different times every day, and every two days it’s switched completely. The officer’s contact information is in the file I left for you in the guestroom. We have also talked to the doorman and he’s been given a shortened list of the people allowed up here without calling first,” Luke answered. 

Alec nodded, “good, I will look it over tonight and we’ll talk more tomorrow.” 

Luke agreed, “sounds good. I think I will be leaving then, Magnus, are you sure you're okay with all this?”

Magnus shrugged and flashed the cop an easy smile, he didn’t really have much of a choice now. He showed Luke to the door and wished him a good night.

“Let me show you the guest room Alexander,” Magnus said and directed them towards the hallway and into a corridor on the left. 

“I prefer Alec,” Alec emphasized.  

Magnus’ lips twitched slightly but otherwise made no indication that he heard Alec. 

“Your bedroom is here on the right,” Magnus opened the door. “There’s an ensuite attached so there is no need to use the bathroom in the hall.” He smiled at Alec’s surprised but satisfied face. 

“My bedroom is the one straight ahead, and the door on the left is my study. You're welcome to go anywhere in the apartment, but please don’t go into my bedroom without me knowing first,” Magnus said. 

Alec nodded to show he’d understand, his gaze still sweeping over the vast bedroom, “okay, thank you. I will go pack up first and then maybe a house tour, so I know my way around,” Alec said, more to himself than to Magnus. 

Magnus yawned, “I’m needed at the studio at 7 am tomorrow so I’m going to bed. Please help yourself to any food or drink you want. Good night Alexander,” Magnus gave him a slight smile before slinking into his bedroom and closing the door. 

Alec, gaze lingered on the spot Magnus had just left. It could have gone worse, he concluded. Magnus was obviously not crazy about the solution but he hadn’t said anything or been unfriendly in any way. In fact, he had been very friendly, Alec almost blushed just thinking about Magnus' lingering gaze. 

Alec swore to himself to do anything he could to make it easier on them both, he wanted Magnus to like and respect him since they would live under the same roof for an unforeseen future. 

And just maybe there was another reason as well.

Chapter Text

Magnus squinted tiredly as the last sunrays of the day filtered through the only window in the vicinity, and directly onto Magnus' face. It was still warm, even though it was late enough that most of the sky was painted in a pink hue rather than its usual blue. The clock on the wall told Magnus that they had spent over 14 hours filming the new episode, and he was feeling exhausted. The only reason he wasn’t sporting dark bags under his eyes was due to their really talented make-up team. 

It would have been easy to blame his tiredness on long days and not enough sleep but that wasn’t the only reason. His new co-star Tessa was a lovely, kind girl, but they lacked that natural chemistry some actors had with each other. Which made every scene between them particularly grueling to film since they were supposed to be each other’s romantic interest. It took a lot out of them both emotionally to try and force something that wasn’t there. And on top of that the scenes between them required more retakes than any other scenes they were involved in. 

Another difference between this season and the last one was that Magnus this season had a much larger part in the fighting scenes than before. His character had actually grown to become quite the swordsman - and even though he was physically fit, he hadn’t exactly been trained in sword fighting before - and it took a whole lot more coordination to make it look good on screen than one might think. Thankfully his dance background helped a bit, but there was still a lot of different choreography that had to be learned, and it was both mentally and physically exhausting. 

And then there was Alec. 

It had been a week since Alec moved in with Magnus at the loft and it hadn’t been at all like Magnus had expected it to be. Alec was a reserved and polite house guest, he did the dishes and cleaned and he kept out of Magnus’ way. Magnus soon realized that he might have judged Alec and potentially all FBI agents too quickly. He had thought FBI agents to be bossy and domineering but Alec definitely wasn’t. In fact, Magnus probably wouldn’t have noticed him a whole lot if it weren’t for the fact that Alec was… well adorable, and hot, so, so hot. 

Alexander had proven to be a kind and caring man and he had a wonderful and dry sense of humor when he let that side out. He was also sort of an enigma to Magnus, and he either blushed and smiled shyly, or rolled his eyes when Magnus flirted. And although he hadn’t once flirted back, Magnus definitely got the sense he wanted to. But maybe that was just Magnus' wishful thinking, and Alec was just too polite to ask Magnus to stop. 

The agent had also proven to be both strong and confident when it came to his job, something he showed off on a daily basis at the set as a stunt coordinator, although it was never something he bragged about. He also seemed to be completely guileless, which was an impressive feat for an FBI agent. 

Magnus felt more and more confused by Alec’s steady presence and the ever-present butterflies in his chest at one of Alec’s rare smiles, and it was weighing on Magnus' already heavy mind. He never thought he would actually like the agent, much less that he would want to get to know him.

Magnus looked over at Alec, he was standing at the back of the studio talking to Jace, the blond agent that was also Alec’s brother. Jace was also helping out as a stunt coordinator at the set when he wasn’t working as a security guard. Magnus had been introduced to both him and Isabelle, their sister and also an agent, last week. Apparently, it was important for him to know all the other agents in case something were to happen to Alec and he needed assistance. 

It was a lot to take in, to think that the bureau had located this amount of resources on him. It was equally flattering as it was scary. It meant that they took the threats a lot more seriously than him and that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. 

He couldn’t help but be a little pleased with the chance to get to know Alec’s siblings a bit better though, and it was a delight to see Alec how interacted with them. It was fascinating to watch them together, especially since he himself had grown up without siblings or barely any family at all. And Alec always looked a lot more relaxed with them around.  

Alec and Jace had worked hard on the set during the last week, teaching the actors the basics of sword fighting, archery, different fighting styles, and mostly different kinds of martial arts. They also taught the actors techniques in how to fall the right way, which had been particularly good for Magnus as he managed to avoid breaking his leg when he tripped on Chairman Meow the same night. 

Alec was, as expected, a good and patient teacher. Although he was also strict and demanding toward those who didn’t take what he was teaching them seriously. Jace on the other hand was impatient and impulsive, always taunting and mocking them to make them angry enough to want to fight back. The brothers were complete opposites and Magnus had more than once thought about jamming his elbow in Jace’s face during their more heated fights. 

“Magnus… Magnus,” Ragnor waved a hand in front of his face. 

Magnus blinked, he had been far too wrapped up in his own mind. Ragnor rolled his eyes at him and smacked him lightly on the back of the head. 

“You need to get your head out of the clouds my friend. You are ruining the take,” Ragnor admonished. 

Magnus shrugged unabashedly, “I’m sorry my dear cabbage, I got stuck in my own mind. Let’s go again.” He took a couple of sips of water before walking up to the stage to stand on the right mark.

Magnus tried his best to concentrate for a couple of more takes, he wanted to get it right. He actually enjoyed the fight scenes a lot more than he’d imagined. The adrenaline that coursed through him when he managed to sweep Meliorn to the ground felt great. Not to mention the pride when he met Alec’s approving nod. But it wasn’t enough to counter the heavy feeling he got when he thought about the problems he and Tessa had finding the right chemistry between them. They had great fun together but that was it. He knew that Ragnor was thinking about scrapping the whole idea of them being a romantic interest. 

“Let’s wrap it up for today,” Ragnor shouted. He was one of the best directors Magnus had ever worked with. 

Magnus let out a sigh of relief, he needed food and sleep, and probably a warm bath. Tessa, Jem, Will, and Meliorn some of his co-stars waved him goodbye and headed out while Magnus stayed behind waiting for Alec to finish his talk to Jace. 

Alec’s sister Isabelle joined them. She worked in the costume department while undercover and it suited her perfectly, she had an amazing style and was as charming as she was deadly. Her charming and friendly personality made it perfect for her as she spent her days dressing people while talking to them. It was also a perfect place to gather information, people on set normally loved to gossip, and those that heard most of it were makeup artists and costume designers. 

Isabelle was in many ways a female copy of her brother, both raven-haired, with sharp cheekbones, and big soulful eyes. They were both very beautiful and they had an allure to them that drew people in but in totally different ways. Izzy was like a whirlwind drawing you in with her charm and confidence, Alec was a slow mystery, you got glimpses of the kindness and beauty of his soul and were left yearning for more. 

Izzy winked and gave him a cheeky smile. She had obviously noticed him waiting and it looked like she was urging Alec to go because seconds later Alec said goodbye to them and headed toward Magnus. 

“Hey, ready to go?” Alec asked, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. 

Magnus smiled, the gesture signaling Alec’s insecurity already so familiar and so endearing. “Why? Are you going to take me home?” Magnus asked, fluttering his eyelashes at Alec in an overly flirting manner. 

Alec's cheeks flamed red, like they always did and it sent tingles down Magnus’ spine. 

“Well not like that,” Alec stuttered and walked past. 

They always had a relatively quiet ride home, it hadn’t taken long for Magnus to figure out that Alec wasn’t the talkative type, although he seemed perfectly content listening to Magnus talk most of the time. So instead of talking Magnus had made it a habit to sing or hum softly to whatever song was playing on the radio on their way home. Alec always looked at him from the corner of his eyes as Magnus sang, smiling gently. He never complained, even though Magnus' singing voice left much to be desired. As the song ended Magnus sighed contentedly whilst leaning back against the headrest. This was nothing like he imagined it a week ago, and he couldn’t be happier to be wrong about Alexander.  

-—-||----

Alec’s first week on assignment had been nothing like he had imagined it beforehand. He had always managed to keep his distance from his “objects” before, he had never been the one to get emotionally invested in his job, at least not more than that he wanted to protect people and do a good job. But with Magnus, he had come to care on a much deeper level than before, not only for the assignment but for the man himself. Alec had no idea how Magnus during such a short amount of time had managed to crawl his way under his skin this much but he had. They hadn’t even talked that much, which to be fair was mostly due to Alec’s inability to indulge in small talk but Magnus had still managed to somehow get under his skin and make him care. Maybe it was due to the fact that Magnus brightened up any room he was in or the incredible kindness he showed toward others or that he was so unabashedly himself. Whatever it was Alec couldn’t help to feel like this mission was more important than any of his previous missions, He burned with a desire to do everything he could to protect Magnus and keep that smile on the man’s face. 

It was just before ten pm when they finally entered the apartment for the evening. Alec was completely knackered, the bed calling to him like a fog-horn but they both needed food and it was his job to look after Magnus. 

“How does pizza sound?” Alec asked, “I’m starving, and that Italian pizza place you ordered from last week was pretty great.” 

“It sounds amazing,” Magnus said gratefully. 

“Great… Uh I’ll go order, and you can go draw your bath,” Alec said, hiding a yawn behind his hand.  

Magnus looked up at him, surprised. “How did you know I was thinking about drawing a bath?” 

Alec chuckled, “Well, it’s kind of your routine, or so I’ve guessed anyways since you have done so five out of seven days this week alone.” 

Magnus looked startled at first, but then he smiled cheekily, “looks like you studied me quite closely Mr. Lightwood, maybe you’ll like to join me? So you could study me even more closely?” Magnus teased. 

“Well, I… Uhm I mean — I didn’t mean to… I just — It’s my job.” Magnus held up his finger to end Alec’s embarrassing stuttering and smiled gently. Alec closed his mouth and cursed himself for his lack of eloquence and his skin for showing off his blush. 

“I was just teasing Alec, I know you’re just doing your job. I understand.” His smile transformed into a smirk and he winked, “I am serious about my offer though, my tub is more than accommodating for two people, even such a deliciously tall one as yourself.” 

Alec could feel his blush spreading, so in an attempt to save himself from further embarrassment, he fled into the kitchen to look up the takeout menus. 

A little while later they ate pizza in front of the tv like they had done most nights during their first week together. Magnus loved comedies and tonight's show was Modern Family, he didn’t mind Magnus choosing as long as he wasn’t forced to watch some trashy reality show like the Kardashians. 

Magnus usually talked a bit during their meal, and this night was no exception, he told Alec about his day and the difficulty he was having with finding the right chemistry with Tessa. He talked about his fellow actors, who he liked and who he didn't. He told Alec about his suspicion that there might be a budding romance between Tessa and Will. He ranted about Lorenzo, one of Magnus’ fellow actors that he really seemed to hate, mostly due to the fact that Lorenzo was treating some of the less experienced actors like shit. It was quite fitting that Magnus and Lorenzo were enemies in the show as well. 

They talked for a bit about the stunt Alec and Jace had tried to teach the actors earlier that morning, when Magnus suddenly asked, “Alexander, how did you learn how to fight? I mean I have a hard time believing they taught you sword fighting at the academy.” 

Alec rubbed his stubble as he thought, “When my parents adopted Jace, he was already ten years old and he was having a hard time adapting to living with us. I thought that maybe it would be easier for him to adapt if we did something together, so we took up fencing together. After a while, I decided to also try my hand at archery. Mostly because Jace beat me at fencing and I wanted to be better than him at something. Which I was.” Alec chuckled before saying, “that one has always bugged him.” 

“Yeah blondie sure is a sore loser,” Magnus snorted. 

Alec laughed, “so you’ve noticed, huh.” 

Magnus narrowed his eyes and said teasingly, “I might have had a dream or two about destroying that pretty face of his. But I know at least a couple of girls at the set that would be quite upset if I did, so I have yet to indulge in that particular dream.”

“Don’t tell Jace, his head is big enough as it is without having a following of admirers,” Alec groaned. 

“We wouldn’t want that.” Magnus teased. “Thank you for telling me, Alexander… About you and Jace. It sounds like you are an amazing big brother.”

Alec smiled bashfully and he turned his eyes down at the couch, he had never been any good with taking compliments. Magnus wasn’t about to let that stop him, he put his finger under Alec’s chin and tilted his head up gently, “someday you’re going to have to learn how to take a compliment, Alec. Because I’m going to keep giving them to you,” Magnus said, smiling gently. 

Magnus' fingers felt warm against his skin and his touch elicited a tingling feeling inside Alec. He’d never felt anything like it before, it wasn’t an unwelcome feeling per se, but it still made him feel a bit tense. When Magnus eventually withdrew his finger, it, strangely enough, felt like something was missing.

Magnus then abruptly decided to stand, “I’m going to bed, darling. Thank you for the food.” 

Magnus walked off towards the bedrooms and Alec couldn’t help but notice that he had a very nice ass. He chastised himself, he was not supposed to look at Magnus' ass, his job was to protect the actor not objectify him. 

Alec took the dishes to the kitchen and rinsed everything off, before going to bed. 

Magnus' guest bedroom was way nicer than Alec’s own bedroom, it was big, with a king-size bed and silk sheets, and it had plenty of closet space and an attached guest bathroom. Even the walls were within Alec’s taste, in a grayish-blue color. He should have been sleeping well but he wasn’t. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Magnus, the case, all the possible suspects, and his other job on the set as a stunt coordinator. The week had gone well, they were welcomed at the set, and nobody seemed to suspect that they were anything other than three people working the set. They had told people they knew Magnus and Ragnor from a previous project since they didn’t want people to question that they already knew each other a little. They had been teaching the actors the basics of different fight styles and nothing about the people on the set stood out as particularly suspicious to Alec. 

Jace and Izzy hadn’t noticed anything weird or suspicious either and maybe that was the real issue. It was really bugging Alec that everything was so “normal”. It just seemed too perfect, something about it was off, at the same time as it wasn’t and it was driving Alec crazy. 

He would figure it out eventually, he had to. But they needed more to go on. As he was beginning to drift, a thought was forming something he should be doing, but before it could properly take shape, he was asleep.

Chapter Text

Alec, Jace, and Izzy had converged in Ragnor’s office, they needed a safe place to talk when at the studio, and he had graciously offered them to use it whenever he wasn’t there. 

The three agents had been hesitant at first, thinking that the office might be bugged, but that seemed a bit much considering what they were dealing with. This wasn’t a high-profile drug operation, so they decided to risk it and use Ragnor’s office for their talks. And anyhow a locked office seemed less likely to be compromised than other rooms in the venue. Luke had also explained to Alec that Ragnor and Magnus were very close friends and that they both trusted him with Magnus' life, which had eased some of his hesitance. Ragnor had promised them to always keep the door locked just in case, and no one other than himself, Magnus, or Alec would have access without him knowing. 

The office was quite big for a film set — with both a big desk, a table with chairs, and a couch. Izzy was sprawled on the office couch, her feet dangling off the armrest and her head resting on a pile of cushions. “We need a plan.” She said, frowning as they talked through what little they had so far. 

“I have a couple of people in mind we could focus on, Lorenzo for example, he and Magnus hate each other,” Alec said.   

Izzy nodded, “I agree that he’s a good candidate, but hate doesn’t automatically translate into wanting to actually kill someone or even “just” threatening them.” 

Alec huffed, “I know that but we have to start somewhere, and we need to weed out the most possible suspects first.” 

She knew he was right, they didn’t have much, and they weren't even sure anyone in the production was involved at all. But they had to be sure it wasn’t anyone in the production team before venturing further out with the investigation. And Alec’s gut was telling them they were on the right track. 

“I don’t like Sebastian,” Jace said, his face contorted into a grimace. 

“You just don’t like him because Gretel likes him more than you,” Izzy snickered. 

“I just think he's slimy little git, that's all,” Jace said affronted. 

Alec and Izzy traded looks, but refrained from saying anything else, they knew Jace’s ego was strong enough to cope but that didn’t mean he liked it when challenged. Their brother loved being the center of attention. 

“I guess we can put him on the list. Magnus doesn’t really like Sebastian either.” He paused. ”And he can’t stand Iris,” Alec said pensively, thinking out loud. 

“Well if Magnus says so,” Izzy teased, a smirk on her lips. “You think quite highly of Magnus for knowing him little more than a week.” 

Alec shrugged and said, “So? He’s the intended victim, his opinions matter.”

Izzy smiled knowingly, twirling a strand of her hand as she talked, “of course it does.” 

They talked back and forth for a while, trading ideas and strategies.

Jace was clearly growing impatient, he had started spinning around in the office chair, flicking small paper balls at them, smiling smugly every time one of them hit its mark. 

“Come on guys, let’s finish already. I want to go kick some ass. It's me against Magnus today.”

Alec smirked, remembering what Magnus had told him yesterday about hitting Jace right in the face. He didn’t want his brother seriously hurt or anything, but one hit wouldn’t do too much damage. And the look on Jace’s face if Magnus beat him was promising to be hilarious. 

“Yeah let’s go, we have some work to do. Izzy, you take Sebastian, Jace you talk to Iris and I’m going to talk to Lorenzo. And we should also send their profiles to Simon so he can do a proper background check. I got a feeling we need to dig deep if we are going to solve this one,” Alec said. 

Izzy nods “I’ll talk to Simon,” she said breezily, a pleased look on her face. 

-—--||-----

After a long day’s work, Alec still had nothing, absolutely nothing. The only good thing about it, was when Magnus managed to knock Jace on his ass during training. 

His talk with Lorenzo hadn’t given much — he hated Magnus that much was obvious, he talked about it every chance he got, comparing Magnus’ performance to his, always portraying himself in the better light. But even so, his behavior wasn’t proof that he had been responsible for anything that had happened to Magnus in the last couple of weeks. At this point, it wasn’t even an indicator of anything suspicious. In fact, the only thing that Lorenzo had managed to do, was to make Alec frustrated. He had to bite his tongue more than once that afternoon to stop himself from shouting at Lorenzo that he was a petty, jealous git. He knew that it was imperative that Lorenzo liked him, so that would feel confident to confide in Alec. You could never know what secrets might become important in the future. So he held his tongue and suffered through.  

Then there was the thing with Lorenzo’s flirting. Lorenzo wasn’t subtle in his flirting with Alec that much was obvious to him and it especially happened a lot when Magnus was nearby. Which to Alec was very strange, since it wasn’t like Magnus was jealous or anything. And also there was no universe whatsoever where Alec would ever be interested in Lorenzo in a romantic or sexual way. And it wasn’t as if Lorenzo liked Magnus so he wasn’t trying to make him jealous in that regard either, so Alec was kinda drawing a blank on that one. 

Lorenzo’s advances did make Alec very uncomfortable though — he was very persistent and he had no sense of personal space and most of all Alec wasn’t interested in him at all. 

He tried his best to avert Lorenzo’s advances without being impolite, but so far no good. He secretly hoped Simon would find something on Lorenzo in his search, anything that was big enough so that Alec could throw him out of the production and be left alone.  

So Alec couldn’t really help it if he complained a little more than usual about Lorenzo in the car ride on their way home that night, to which Alec could have sworn Magnus looked rather pleased. 

-—--||-----

Alec rolled his shoulders as he tried to keep his focus on whatever Imogen was saying. His shoulders ached after too much time bent over different case files. 

“Yes Ma’am we are looking into it.”

“I expect weekly reports, Mr. Lightwood. And you are to contact us immediately with any developments.” 

“Yes of course.” 

“Do not let us down.” Imogen's tone was clear. This was his chance. Screw it up and he could kiss a promotion goodbye. 

“Ma’am.” 

Imogen ended the call. 

Alec looked at the files spread across his bed and sighed. There were nearly a hundred people involved in the production on a daily basis, and closer to two hundred if you were to count the different extras and additional staff who were only there on occasion. 

The bureau had run basic background checks on all the permanent staff, but it had turned up empty, somehow Alec knew they needed to dig deeper than that to find something. If it even was something to find among these files, there was also the Asmodeus angle to investigate. Whoever was threatening Magnus was probably connected to the criminal underworld, but it didn’t mean that the connection was easy to find. And there were a lot more crime organizations out there than just Asmodeus’. 

On the set, Lorenzo was an obvious candidate since he hated Magnus so much, but Alec thought he also seemed way too in love with his own career and fame to risk jeopardizing that for some sort of petty rivalry.  

Iris worked as a special effects designer and she wasn’t really an obvious candidate at first glance, but Magnus and Ragnor had confided in them that Iris on multiple occasions had tried to get Magnus sacked after Magnus had talked with Ragnor about her lacking performance during the first season. Magnus had no idea how that information had gotten out in the first place, and neither did Ragnor. It hadn’t exactly been common knowledge that he had complained to Ragnor about Iris' unimpressive performance with the special effects in the first season. After this she had begun to file false complaints about Magnus to Ragnor, not knowing that Ragnor and Magnus were really close friends. She had even lied about him being in her office, harassing her when he in reality had been attending lunch with Ragnor and Catarina. 

Sebastian worked as a productions assistant, he hadn’t been anything but polite to everyone, but it was still something about him that felt off. He was as Jace so eloquently had expressed it slimy, and he was always a tad too brown-nosed. Sebastian was the kind of person who had no problems charming and sleeping his way to the top without caring about the consequences. He also had this look on his face sometimes, Alec had caught him glancing at the other actors with a look he could only describe as pure envy and hate. It had always sent chills up Alec’s spine whenever he seen it. 

The problem was that it could just as easily be none of those three, just because they gave Alec the creeps didn’t mean they were guilty. But he and his siblings were still pretty sure in their suspicion that somebody at the set was involved at least somewhat.

Magnus had received three threats and then there was the thing with the photos, not necessarily a threat but still. The first real threat was the thing with the mirror in Magnus' LA home and then there was the letter, it had been delivered to Magnus' dressing room at the studio. Lastly, two weeks ago someone had broken into Magnus' car leaving photos of him with the promise that they could find him anywhere. 

The letter contained a threat to release more compromising material about Magnus. Apparently, there was a video of some sort. It wasn’t a sex video according to Magnus but it still wasn’t good. 

It was the letter that made the FBI think that someone at the studio was involved, the letter had no stamps on it, so it must have been hand-delivered. No unauthorized personnel were allowed on the premises. 

Alec rubbed his eyes and then glanced at the time, it was long after midnight. He needed to sleep, he compiled all the files in a neat bundle before stuffing them in the safe. Maybe Simon could find something they couldn’t. 

-----||-----

Magnus finished the final touches of his makeup putting the makeup brush back on its designated spot on top of the vanity. He had opted for touches of purple today, his eyeshadow looked on point so he smiled pleased to himself in the mirror. He always wanted to look his best for his goddaughter and purple was Madzie’s favorite color. 

He and Alec had joined forces the day before cleaning the apartment from head to toe, even though Magnus had told Alec multiple times he wasn’t obliged to help out. Alec had just smiled at him and said that he wanted to help, humming under his breath as he dusted the bookshelves, almost as if cleaning Magnus' loft was fun for him in some way. Magnus had as usual just stared bewildered at Alec, the man constantly surprising him, he wasn’t used to people being so generous toward him. Most people he met always seemed to want something of him, money, fame, introductions. But not Alec, he just genuinely seemed to want to help Magnus with the simplest of things, no matter how many times Magnus told him he didn’t need to earn his upkeep here, that he did his job by just being there. But Alec shrugged and went on with whatever he was doing at the time. 

Alec had even offered to cook lunch for Catarina and Madzie's visit which Magnus had hesitantly accepted, not because Alec wasn’t a good chef, he was actually a great chef but he didn’t want Alec to feel used. Alev being a great chef was something he had discovered a few days ago when Alec had made this amazing bolognese one night. Magnus had been amazed by the agent’s cooking skills and practically begged Alec to cook for him more often. He was used to surviving mostly on take out but he often longed for more home-cooked food. 

Catarina was one of Magnus’ best friends and one of the most kind, and caring people he had ever met. They have known each other since they were children and Madzie was her daughter and Magnus’ godchild. 

He heard a knock on the door and went to open it. “Uncle Magnus,” Madzie squealed happily, jumping up in his arms. Her thick curls tickled him on the nose as he caught her in his arms. 

“Sweetpea, I’ve missed you,” Magnus said, hugging his goddaughter. 

“I’ve missed you too,” she said. “Mom said you have a new roommate.” 

Catarina smiled and shrugged apologetically as if to say, what was I supposed to tell her. 

She reached over Madzie, and kissed Magnus on the cheek. “I’m happy to see you, Magnus, it’s been too long.”

“My dear Catarina, please come in,” Magnus said. Feeling more at ease than in a long time. 

Madzie had already flung her jacket on the floor and was running into the living area ready to jump up on the couch. Catarina looked at the jacket on the floor and sighed, but it was quickly replaced with a small smile threatening to break out as she looked up at Madzie and Magnus' happy smiles. Catarina always had a soft spot for anything that made the people she loved happy. 

Madzie was chatting happily about school and her friend Sofie whom she met at dance class. Magnus always listened attentively to anything Madzie told him, treating her words with just as much importance as he would an adult. That was just one of the things that made him such a god godfather to her daughter. 

A little while later Madzie suddenly stopped talking, a shy little smile appearing on her face instead. Both Magnus and Catarina noticed the abruptness with which Madzie had quieted down and they looked around confused to see what had gotten Madzie’s attention. It was Alec, he was standing in the doorway looking at them hesitantly, his hands behind his arms. 

Magnus smiled at Alec's shy, hesitant demeanor, his doe-like eyes always made him look adorable when he was nervous.

“You are welcome to join us if you want to, Alexander” Magnus said, pointing at the empty spot between Magnus and Catarina on the couch. 

Alec looked unsure but both Magnus and Catarina kept smiling at him so he nodded slowly and walked over. But instead of sitting down at the allotted spot, he crouched down in front of Madzie and held out his hand. 

“Hi I’m Alec,” He smiled kindly. “I’m Magnus' new roommate.” 

Madzie watched him carefully, and then her smile started to grow and she extended her hand toward Alec. “Hi, I’m Madzie.” 

Alec’s face lit up in a huge grin, that looked so genuine and beautiful that even the Angels themself couldn’t have resisted. 

“It’s so nice to meet you Madzie. I really like your sweater,” Alec said pointing at the cute cow that was printed on her shirt. 

Madzie looked pleasantly surprised. Her big brown eyes peered down at the yellow shirt. “You like cows?” she asked. 

“I love them, cows are my favorite animal,” Alec said. His eyes wide with wonder as he told Madzie all about why cows were the best animal. 

Catarina looked just as astonished as Magnus was feeling. Magnus had told Catarina enough about Alec over the phone that she was surprised over Alec’s apparent ease with children. Magnus had described him as reserved and had said Alec didn’t particularly like most people. But he was obviously very wrong in assuming he didn’t like children. 

Alec smiled at Madzie with ease. A smile Magnus hadn’t seen Alec use towards anyone other than his siblings so far. Although Alec was caring and kind towards Magnus, he was still reserved and not particularly talkative, but with Madzie he talked and laughed with ease. 

Madzie tried hard to convince Alec that fish were better animals than cows. 

“But Alec,” she said. “Fish can be purple and cows are only, black, brown, and white.” 

Alec nodded seriously like he considered her point, “Yeah but my favorite color is black, so I’m happy cows are black,” he answered. 

Madzie giggled, “Uncle Magnus says black isn’t really a color.” She looked thoughtful, “but purple is a color, it’s my favorite color. Like Uncle Mangus' hair, ” she said proudly. Pointing at the purple strands in Magnus’ hair.  

Alec smiled softly, his gaze landing on Mangus. “You're right Madzie, purple is a great color,” Alec said. 

Madzie nodded happily, obviously satisfied with Alec’s answer. 

Alec stands up and goes over to say a proper hello to Catarina after which he looks at Magnus, “I was actually coming in here to say dinner is ready.” He looked down and rubbed his neck. “Madzie distracted me, with her cool shirt,” He said, smiling warmly. 

They all ate a lovely dinner together, Alec had cooked a wonderful meal, and Madzie helped ease them all into a nice relaxed conversation. Alec was evidently charmed by her and answered all her questions without hesitation and Magnus and Catarina joined in. 

They couldn’t tell Madzie the real reason why Alec was there, so they stuck to the explanation that Catarina had told her that he was Magnus' new roommate and that they worked together, which to some extent was true. 

Alec told them some funny stories about his childhood, they were mostly about Jace and Izzy making asses of themselves and Alec always saving them from mischief. Magnus noticed how the agent avoided talking about his parents, not mentioning them once even though most stories involved his family. Magnus couldn’t pretend he wasn’t curious, but he would never push anyone to talk about things in their past they weren’t ready for. He had far too many skeletons of his own. He knew what it was like to want them to stay hidden and forget. 

After dinner they all played operation together, Alec was clearly a step better than the rest but he graciously “lost” to Madzie on more than one occasion. She grinned happily every time Alec got buzzed and he took it gracefully. In fact, Magnus would say that Alec looked a little bit happier every time he lost. After Alec and Madzie’s domination over the game “operation,” they moved on to coloring at the kitchen table, leaving Magnus and Catarina a chance to catch up on less child-friendly topics. Magnus smiled gratefully at Alec as they locked eyes across the room. 

“He’s great with her,” Catarina pointed out. “She normally has a much harder time warming up to people, especially adults.” 

“It's as surprising as it’s not. I get the feeling that Alec took care of his siblings a lot growing up. But he’s normally so reserved and quiet so it’s amazing seeing him like this,” Magnus said, his eyes glancing at Alec once more. 

Catarina eyed him knowingly. “Mhm.”

“What?” Magnus said. Throwing his hands up in the air, in an overdramatic gesture. 

Catarina shook her head slowly, a teasing smile lingering on her lips. “Nothing yet. But I think you’ll know soon enough.” 

Magnus huffed, since when was Catarina this secretive with him , if anything she had always been brutally honest. It was one of the foundations they built their friendship on, Magnus always getting into trouble by being way too spontaneous, and Catarina always chastising him and bringing him down to earth. 

“So tell me, how are you really feeling Magnus? I’m worried about you,” Catarina said. 

“Honestly– I am trying not to think about it. I just want to live my life.” Magnus said tiredly. Tugging at his earlobe as he thought it over. “I just don’t get what I could have done for someone to hate me this much.” 

Catarina squeezed his hand reassuringly. “What about your father?” 

Magnus shrugged, “It could be. But why though? We have no relationship… I doubt he even knows anything about me anymore… or cares whether I live or die.” Magnus put his head in his hands, leaning forward. “I’m sure the FBI’s already thought about it anyway, my father is probably high on their list of suspects.

Catarina rubbed soothingly over his back. “Well try to see it positively, at least your agent is pretty to look at,” she joked. 

The hair on Magnus’ arms rose and he couldn’t stop the shiver down his spine.“He’s not mine,” he said, muffled. 

“Yeah, well not yet,” Catarina teased. “He sure looks like your type though.” 

“Tall, dark, and handsome. I know. He is absolutely gorgeous, “Magnus peaked out between his hands. Alec was laughing at something Madzie said, his whole face lighting up. He looked beautiful. “But he’s not interested in me that way.” 

Catarina mused “Are you sure about that?” 

Magnus was about to ask what she meant when Madzie ran forward. “Are you sad Uncle, Magnus? You look sad.” 

Magnus sat back up, and lifted Madzie up in his arms. “I’m not sad sweetpea, just tired.” He kissed her cheek. “Did you have fun with Alec?” 

Madzie nodded, “I showed Alec how to draw a horse, and then we colored it like a rainbow.” 

Magnus chuckled, “That’s great sweetpea. I’m so glad you came today.” 

“Me to Uncle Magnus,” Madzie said, hugging him. 

“Let’s go, sweetheart, it's getting late and you have school tomorrow,” Catarina said. 

Madzie and Catarina said their goodbyes, Madzie hugged both Magnus and Alec again before leaving and Catarina promised to visit more often now that Magnus lived in New York again and since Magnus should preferably stay in the loft when he wasn’t at work, where it was safer. 

Magnus was exhausted, not physically but emotionally, so he opted for an early night. 

He said good night to Alec, promising himself he would thank Alec properly in the morning and went to bed.

Chapter Text

Alec was halfway through his morning routine when he discovered the fourth threat. 

He started off every morning by checking that none of the windows or doors had been tampered with during the night. Even if he sincerely doubted that anyone would be stupid or desperate enough to climb a skyscraper just to breach Magnus’ apartment.

 After his check-up of the inside of the apartment, he usually went downstairs to talk to the doorman. Anyone working in law enforcement knew that doormen often were a gold mine of information so Alec and his siblings had made a deal with the two night-porters working in Magnus’ building. They had both been vaguely informed about the situation and put on the FBIs payroll, thus allowing Alec to look at the building’s security cameras and view the tapes if it was some event during the night they needed to dig deeper into. They had also asked them both to keep a more watchful eye on any suspicious activity from other patrons and to not let anyone up to the penthouse without Magnus' authorization. 

He also checked Magnus’ car, every day before driving to the studio or any other place they would go, for any evidence of tampering. Alec tried to do this as discreetly as possible so as not to scare Magnus with the severity of the situation. Alec knew the actor wasn’t stupid but if he could avoid reminding Magnus of possible car bombs and malfunctioning brakes he would. 

Alec made sure to always step out of the car first and then quickly go open the car door for Magnus just in case someone would attack. That way he could act as a shield for Magnus if needed. Almost every morning Magnus would crack up and wink at Alec when the agent opened the door, saying how much of a gentleman Alec was. Which in turn always made Alec blush. 

And when inside the studio he always made sure to check Magnus’ dressing room before letting Magnus in there. 

The last check-up of the morning was of Magnus’ dressing room. All the main actors in the show had their own rooms since they spent so much time there. The room was locked most of the time, on insistence from Alec and it was only a select few who had a key. 

This morning when he arrived outside Magnus’ dressing room, something felt off as soon as Alec pushed the door open. There was a large bouquet of flowers on the dressing table, which was weird since the door had been locked. All gifts were supposed to be delivered to the guard entrance where they underwent a fast check-up before being delivered to the person’s room during the day. The flowers in front of Alec had not been placed there by a security guard, of that Alec was certain. 

He walked slowly up to the table to take a closer look at the flowers. It was a beautiful large bouquet composed of twenty big red roses and as Alec came closer he could smell their faint but heavenly fragrance. He peered down into the middle of the bouquet and there in the middle of the flowers, half hidden under a couple of small green leaves was a small white note. Alec’s gut twisted, he had a bad feeling. Hoping he was wrong, Alec took a pair of white latex gloves from his inside jacket pocket and put them on just in case. If the note was what he feared, it was of uttermost importance that he didn’t contaminate any evidence. 

The envelope wasn’t much bigger than the palm of his hand, and inside was a single small note. Written on the note in thick black letters were;

I thought these were appropriate.

So alike in color to the blood I will drain from your body soon enough.  

Alec swallowed roughly and stared down at the note, he would never allow Magnus to suffer or be hurt in any way. He would stop them, he would fix this mess and capture the one responsible. 

He had been lucky that Magnus had walked straight to filming earlier. He needed a minute to calm down, to think. He couldn’t keep this from the other man, and he didn’t want to; he just needed to be sure of how to handle it.

He photographed the note before putting it in an evidence bag, they needed forensics to check it right away and he knew just who to call that had a direct line to that department. 

“Izzy, you need to come to Magnus' dressing room. NOW.” Alec said.  

She could hear in his tone that this was a no-nonsense work call, he quickly relayed what had happened and what he needed. 

“I’ll be there right away.” She said and hung up. 

His little sister was much better equipped to handle the whole forensics bit than he was. She had a talent for science, especially chemistry, and biology, and she was good friends with the whole forensics department at the bureau. All agents had some basic understanding of the science required to collect evidence, like fingerprint dusting, DNA collecting, and blood spatter analysis, but it wasn’t one of Alec’s strong suits. They would need an evidence technician down here immediately and Izzy was persuasive, she was probably on the phone with them right now convincing them to drop everything and come down here. Alec and she knew each other well enough to have a good understanding of what the other needed with very few words, or without having to spell it out. 

Alec then called Jace and told him to come down, they needed someone to guard the room until it could be processed properly. Alec was needed elsewhere, he needed to talk to Magnus before any rumors started flourishing. 

Jace was there within two minutes after their phone call and Alec handed him the evidence bag. “Give it to Izzy when she arrives.” Jace nodded. “I have to go talk to Magnus. He — he doesn’t know and I have to tell him before the forensics and police arrive.” Alec said grimly. 

Alec found Magnus in studio 2, talking to Ragnor and Elliott Norse, the show's producer, outside of Ragnor’s office. It was just as well since he needed to inform them too. In ten minutes the studio would be full of police and forensics experts and they had to know beforehand. Alec would need Ragnor and Elliot’s help to concoct a feasible lie to the other staff about why the police were about to swarm the place. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but we all need to talk. Preferably in your office.” Alec said, referring to Ragnor’s office. 

They all eyed him questionably before Ragnor slowly nodded. “Okay, make yourself at home.” He said, opening the door and ushering them all inside. 

“What is it?” Magnus asked, looking weary. He was standing opposite Alec with his arms crossed. 

“When I checked your dressing room just now, I found a new threat.” Alec sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Someone sent you roses, the note embedded had a new threatening message written on it…” Alec paused so that Magnus and the others could process, before continuing. “I’m so sorry Magnus.” 

“What did it say?” Magnus' voice sounded off. 

“Magn —.“ Magnus held up his hand, to silence Ragnor. 

“I need to know.”

Alec closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath, it wasn’t good. But he had come to the conclusion that if Magnus wanted to know, he had every right to. But he doubted it would make the actor feel better. 

Alec held out his phone for Magnus to see, at least he had been smart enough to take a photo of the note before handing it over to Jace. 

I thought these were appropriate.

So alike in color to the blood I will drain from your body soon enough.  

Both Elliot and Ragnor leaned closer to Magnus so they could read it. Neither said anything but he could see Ragnor’s frown and the way his lips were pressed into a thin line, Elliot’s eyes darted from the paper and over at Magnus with a scared look, whilst chewing on his lower lip. 

Magnus read the note multiple times before the message seemed to have sunk in some and his shoulders slumped. He started walking around in circles while dragging his hand through his hair over and over, muttering to himself. 

“Magnus.”

“— Magnus .”

Magnus wasn’t hearing him at all so Alec put his hand carefully on Magnus' bicep to stop him from spiraling out of control. Magnus stopped abruptly, looking startled.  

“Magnus, do you want to go home?” Alec asked concerned.  

“Maybe that's for the best Magnus. Just for today,” Ragnor added. 

Magnus shook his head angrily. “No! I can’t let them win. I’m not going to stop living my life because of some jerk. That got into their head somehow that I’m a threat worth killing or something,” Magnus snapped. 

“Okay. Fine.” Ragnor said, holding his hands up in surrender. They all needed to let Magnus calm down. It was a lot to process, and clearly right now wasn’t the right time for that conversation. Emotions were running way too high at the moment. 

Magnus took a deep breath trying to collect himself. “I just can’t think about it right now… I just can’t,” he said and walked out of the room. 

Alec watched as Magnus walked out, he felt this strong urge to run after the man and hug him. Alec shook his head, that would probably have been a disaster, the last Magnus needed right now was a big awkward man trying to hug him.

“Can you give us a moment Alec?” Ragnor asked after a moment of silence. “Me and Elliot need to talk about filming today.”

“Of course. I’ll wait outside.” Alec said politely. “I need to inform the rest of my team anyways,” Alec said and walked out. 

He had a call to Imogen to get through. 

--—-||-----

Today had been a complete disaster, after the news that he received a fourth threat Magnus just hadn’t been able to concentrate. He had tried to shake it all off but he couldn't, and it showed in his performance. Which in turn affected his mood even more, until he became testy and rude and everything he hated in other people, but he just couldn’t control himself. He tried to not think about it, but the more he tried to ignore the feelings raging inside of him, the worse it became. 

The first problem that had arisen from the events of the morning had been the presence of police and forensics experts. Magnus understood why they had to be there, but no one else did, which in turn made the rumor mill excruciating. Magnus, Ragnor, and Elliot, who were the only ones that knew, couldn't exactly tell their co-workers on the set why the police were there, since it was supposed to be a secret. So instead Alec had come up with a lie, telling them someone had broken into the set and stolen some of the props, particularly some of the jewelry Magnus used on the set. Magnus was pretty sure nobody actually believed Alec based on all the rumors flying around. And it made his head hurt to keep up with it all when all he wanted to do was scream, fight, and sometimes even hide. 

The second problem had been the commotion that the police kept enforcing. They hadn’t been quiet at all and they walked all over the set in any way that suited them, not exempting in front of the cameras. This had in turn stalled the filming for several hours which just made everything worse. 

The third problem unfolded as they started filming, the problem being his own mind. After so many hours of being on edge, Magnus had a hard time concentrating. How could anyone expect him to look relaxed after a day like this, he was supposed to look flirty and happy when in reality he felt more scared than ever. 

After giving up on the softer scenes, they tried to film some of the fight scenes instead. Which was an even bigger disaster, he tripped over twenty times, during a scene where he was supposed to jump from one place to another. All because his concentration kept slipping at the wrong moment. He then hit Meliorn in the wrong spot five times, making Meliorn cry out in pain at the last one before Ragnor intervened and decided to film those scenes another day. 

He was just really fed up with it all. So when Ragnor finally declared they all could go home, Mangus almost started cheering in pure relief. 

Magnus groaned tiredly and fell onto the couch as soon as he arrived home that evening. This was the first time in many years Magnus had felt like a truly terrible actor. He usually felt pretty confident in his ability but earlier today had been awful, he had been awful. 

There was no point in sugarcoating it, he had to do better. 

He couldn’t even be happy when Chairman decided that Magnus was in need of some comfort and jumped onto his lap in search of some belly scratches. 

Alec looked thoughtful as he glanced at Magnus before he walked off to the kitchen, leaving Magnus guessing what he was doing. Magnus was intrigued as he could hear Alec opening and closing the cabinets, taking out a pan, and opening the fridge, but more than that was impossible to discern.

Magnus yawned, whatever it was Alec could wait, he burrowed his head deeper into the pillow and closed his eyes. His hands buried in Chairman’s fur. A bath would be so nice right now. 

“Magnus,” Alec said softly. 

Magnus jerked, he hadn’t noticed Alec coming back into the living room. Had he fallen asleep? He looked up at Alec who had a big cup in his hand, he held it out to Magnus. 

“I made you hot chocolate,” 

Magnus gazed at the cup, the smell emanating from it made Magnus’ mouth water. It smelled of cocoa, cinnamon, and honey.  

“It smells amazing,” Magnus noted. 

Alec beamed “It’s my special recipe. It’s Jace’s favorite when he’s sick.”

Magnus took the cup and took a sip. He felt the warmth of the cocoa spreading through his body and he sighed happily. “Thank you, Alexander, it's delicious.” 

Alec smiled fondly and sat down next to Magnus and turned on the tv. 

Magnus sipped the chocolate slowly, feeling warmer and more relaxed every second. He changed his position instead of laying over half the couch he leaned against Alec and let his head fall down on Alec's shoulder. He was in desperate need of comfort and Alec radiated safety and warmth. 

He could feel Alec stiffen for a few seconds when he felt Magnus touch, before relaxing into it, taking hold of a blanket, and pulling it over both their legs. It made Magnus really happy that Alec seemed okay with them being close, Magnus was a really cuddly person and since Alec lived there he should obviously get the job as the perfect human-shaped pillow.  

They sat like that until Magnus had finished the cocoa, then after Magnus had leaned forward to put the cup on the coffee table he took the chance to snuggle in further. He snuggled up closer to Alec putting his head closer to Alec’s neck and sneaked his hand around Alec's waist. Alec readjusted his position and wrapped his arm around Magnus like it was something that came completely naturally to him. Magnus hummed satisfied, it felt amazing to be wrapped up in Alec’s arms. He felt safer at this moment than he had in a long time. 

-—---||------

Jace cast a pensive glance toward his brother, Alec had acted absent-minded all day, his glazed-over expression indicating he was a million miles away. Jace could see the lines etched on Alec’s face from frowning too much, his jaw looked tenser than he had seen in a while, a starch contrast to the last couple of weeks. The fact of the matter was that in the last couple of weeks, Alec had felt more relaxed and happy than in a long time. And it had never been as obvious as right now when his brother acted all tense and wound up all of a sudden. And to be honest it was freaking Jace out now that he had noticed it. 

He knew Alec felt pressure due to the high-profile case, it was a make-it-or-break-it career case. But they had worked the case for weeks now and he had never said anything about being nervous nor being too difficult. 

When he really thought about it, something had to have shifted overnight. Alec had been stressed out yesterday due to the fourth threat, but he had still been focused. No this had to be something else. 

He had been pretty hard on all of them the day before, even the forensics but that wasn’t uncommon. But today he didn’t just seem unfocused, he looked almost rattled. He stared at everyone with a distrustful glint in his eyes, except him and Izzy, and Magnus. His eyes grew just that little bit fonder when he glanced over at the actor, it was a bit unnerving to Jace, he had never seen Alec like that. It was something new, something other than how Alec looked at him and Izzy. 

Jace shook his head in confusion, maybe a good training session could get Alec on track again.

He, Alec, and Izzy had decided to meet up in one of the training rooms to spar while the rooms were empty due to filming. They hadn’t trained together for a couple of weeks, not since Alec had moved in with Magnus. 

All three of them were well versed in multiple different fighting styles so they mostly sparred without any rules so that they could utilize all of them. They were always trying to be careful though, they did have jobs to get to, jobs that demanded them to be physically fit and unharmed. Although over the years a broken arm, broken toe, and some serious sprains had happened, mostly to Jace since he was by far the most reckless. 

Izzy snickered as Alec lost his balance, tripped, and dragged Jace down with him once more. It was the third time since they started sparring a half hour ago that Alec had managed to stumble enough to fall and drag down Jace with him. Jace was fuming, what the hell was wrong with Alec? 

“What the hell dude?” Jace shouted angrily and pushed Alec off him. “What’s wrong with you? You are acting like a baby giraffe. Since when are you this clumsy? I haven’t seen you like this since that growth spurt during the summer break before your junior year.”

Alec huffed grumpily and pushed himself up into a standing position.“What are you talking about? I’m fine! I just lost my balance.” 

Jace brushed some hair out of his eyes before glaring at his brother. “You never lose your balance, Alec! You are usually steady as a rock all the time. It used to be fucking annoying, to be honest.” Jace huffed, irritated. “But this is actually worse. You were fine yesterday, what happened?”

“Nothing has happened.”

“Alec, stop bullshitting. Something’s clearly wrong.” Jace said frustrated. 

Alec tightened his fist. Why couldn’t they just leave it alone? So he was not at his best today, so what? He was still better than most. It’s not like Jace never had off days, half the time he was either hungover or sleep-deprived. 

Alec hissed out, “I’m not.” 

Jace sighed and put a hand on Alec’s shoulder and squeezed. Trying to coax out what was wrong. “ I know something’s up. And apparently kicking the shit out of me isn’t helping so talk.” 

Izzy joined them. “It’s okay to have a bad day Alec, and if that’s what it is, fine! But if there is something bothering you we’re here.” She smiled understandingly. 

Alec tensed and shook his head irritated. Please leave it alone. He knew they meant well but they should learn to back off. He wasn’t in the right headspace for their constant pushing today, he needed space and time to think, to sort out his emotions. 

Izzy and Jace glanced at each other, as siblings all three of them had somewhat mastered the art of communicating without actually talking. They both tried to decide if they should push further or not. Their brother wasn’t really known to talk about feelings, he usually shut down whenever they tried. 

“You both do know I can see what you're doing right?” Alec said frustrated. 

Why couldn’t they just let him sort out his feelings in peace? So what if he and Magnus had cuddled yesterday, and so what if it made his stomach twist just thinking about it? It wasn’t something he needed or wanted to share with his siblings right now. 

Izzy met his eyes unbothered. “Yes, big brother. We know.” She smiled gently. “Will you please talk to us?”

Alec rolled his eyes and shook his head. “There is nothing to talk about. So please just stop.”

“Come on, stop being so Alec, and talk to us,” Jace said. 

Alec gazed out over the room lost in thought, maybe he should say something, just to get them off his back? But what? 

“Um — I just.. Magnus he — I mean yesterday after work he, um.” Alec swallowed, and looked down at his fingers, his thumb and index finger rubbing together. “I just — I don’t know what happened… He just —.” 

“Come on Alec, get a grip,” Jace said exasperated. “Just tell us what the fuck happened.” 

“I’m fucking trying,” Alec murmured and jammed his hands in his front pockets. 

“Try harder. It’s pathetic, bro.” Jace said. 

Alec stilled and looked up. He tried, he fucking tried. After Max, he just couldn’t… Why was his best never good enough? 

His eyes clouded and his jaw tensed. “You know what.” His right hand balled up into a fist. “I can’t do this right now. I just — I’m just going to go.” Alec gritted out. He turned around and walked out of the room. Not giving them any room to protest. 

“What happened?” Jace asked just as Izzy punched him in the arm. 

“Ouch. What did you do that for?” Jace questioned, rubbing his arm soothingly. 

“Why do you think, Doofus? Alec was finally talking and you scared him off not to mention you were being a complete dick. Now, he’s never going to open up to us.” Izzy said seriously. She eyed the door worryingly, she hoped he was okay. 

“That could barely have been seen as talking Iz,” Jace said pouting. 

Izzy rolled her eyes, sticking out her tongue. “He would have if you hadn’t pushed so hard.” 

Alec’s chest tightened uncomfortably, memories of his parents telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he was a disappointment flashed through his mind over and over. Jace and Izzy were clearly tired of him not opening up. He knew they wanted him to confide in them, that they wanted to talk about everything that had happened in the past but it was so damn hard. Every time he tried, he felt like being stabbed through the chest. Like no time had passed and he was back in the worst time of his life. 

Oh, why couldn’t they just have left him to sort out his thoughts alone? 

His lungs started to hurt with every breath he took, every breath becoming more and more of a struggle as he stumbled down the halls. 

Alec knew it was a sign that he was close to having a panic attack. It was the first time in years he’d triggered an attack. The last time it happened was three years ago, after his last tour with the military. That time he had one in front of Jace and Izzy, after which they forced him into going to therapy. So he had visited a therapist for a couple of months after he quit the military and it had helped a lot. He had hated almost every moment of it, opening up, talking about feelings with a complete stranger. It had worked though, he hadn’t had an attack since a month after his last session. He still recognized the signs of the rising anxiety wrecking through his body as if it was yesterday it had happened last. 

His chest was tightening more and more with every minute. He was struggling to take more than a couple of shallow breaths per minute, and every time he did his lungs felt like they were burning. He stumbled through the hallway, trying to find his way to Ragnor’s office, knowing that in there he would likely be left in peace. 

His heart was beating faster and faster, fueling the feeling of panic that filled his every sense at this point.  

His eyes started to fill with tears, making it difficult to see where he was going. And as everything clouded in front of him, he felt himself stumble into someone. He had no idea who, but he could only hope they didn’t see the way he was falling apart. Don’t look at me, please don’t look at me. He tried to hide his tears as he wheezed out a quick apology and continued down the hall. 

His ears were ringing now and his chest hurt badly enough to bring even more tears into his eyes. He could barely breathe at all now, every attempt came out in short gasps, and he desperately needed air. He tried to remember the breathing exercises his therapist had taught him but it was all blank. He tried breathing through his nose instead but he couldn’t, he just ended up gasping for air once more.  

He arrived at Ragnor’s office and tried to stick the keys in the lock, but his hands were trembling so bad he couldn’t get the keys into the keyhole. It didn’t help that his eyes were so cloudy with tears that he could barely see the keyhole at all. He tried pushing the keys into the hole with force but fumbled and ended up hitting the handle instead, he instantly dropped the keys to the floor. 

His hand ached from the clash and he choked on a large sob.  

He shook so badly, tears now falling along his cheeks, he tried to stop them but he couldn’t. 

He stood there paralyzed, what was he supposed to do? He was almost ready to give up and collapse right there on the floor when he heard the scrambling of keys. Someone was  next to him picking them up, and his heart sank. He felt even more panicked, he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. 

Then the door opened, and Alec was led inside before whoever was with him closed and locked the door behind them. 

He felt a small surge of relief, he was safe. The feeling lasted for only a few seconds before he was once again reminded that he was not alone when he felt a warm hand touching his arm. Panic coursed through him once more like a tidal wave.  

His heartbeat quickened and his vision started to blacken. He collapsed onto the floor into a sitting position, only half conscious at this point. He was subconsciously hugging his legs in front of him, trying to protect himself. 

He heard a strong, warm voice guiding him back. “Breath Alexander, come on darling, you have to breathe.” 

The voice sounded worried but it remained calm and steady and it pierced through the ringing in his ears with soothing words. He knew that voice, even in his panicked state he knew he heard it before. “Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. You can do it, Alec, you are safe here.”

He tried doing as the voice instructed him, but it hurt so much, his chest felt crushed as if a heavy weight had been placed upon his chest. He took a ragged breath, and then one more, and his throat and lungs felt like they were on fire. But the voice was guiding him, urging him to continue. 

So he pushed through the pain, knowing that he had to or otherwise he would pass out completely and be taken to the hospital. 

After some time his head finally began to clear, and he recognized the voice that helped him as Magnus’. The warmth and softness in his voice were like a soft hug around Alec’s soul. As he identified the voice as Magnus he didn't panic like he thought he would, instead he felt calmer knowing that it was Magnus who took care of him. 

“That's it darling, you are doing so good.” Magnus praised as Alec slowly got his breathing under control. 

Magnus' presence felt calming and safe. He was radiating warmth even from a distance, he was careful not to touch Alec again after his earlier misstep but he wasn’t far from him. His hands were hovering over Alec waiting for permission. Ready to soothe him in any way he could. 

“Alec, can I touch you? I promise to let go immediately if you feel uncomfortable.” Magnus asked gently. 

Alec had his head between his legs, but he still managed to nod so that Magnus understood. 

Magnus carefully brushed his hands along Alec’s arms which were still wrapped around his own legs. He stroked up and down Alec’s arm as he murmured small praises and encouragements to him. They sat like that for a long time, Magnus never once asked Alec anything or demanded that he should be okay now. He was just supporting him by being there in quiet support and Alec was so grateful. 

Magnus had fired off a quick text to Ragnor to explain that he was not to be disturbed and that they had to continue filming without him for a while. Ragnor didn’t ask why, he knew Magnus would have a good reason. They had known each other long enough that he could read between the lines that it wasn’t the time to ask. Ragnor also knew that Magnus would never skip work for something that wasn’t important. 

Half an hour later, Alec finally looked up, his eyes were puffy and red, and his hands were still shaking slightly but his breathing was back to normal and he could finally think normally again.

 Magnus met his eyes and smiled encouragingly, he leaned forward and brushed away a single tear that had fallen onto Alec’s cheek. 

“This floor isn’t good for my fabulous butt,” Magnus said dramatically. A hint of a smile lingered on his lips. “Would you mind if we moved to the couch instead? 

Alec shook his head, he wouldn’t mind them moving as long as they were still in the safety of the office. He wasn’t ready to face the rest of the world just yet. 

So when Magnus offered to help him off the floor he followed and sat down on the couch instead. 

Magnus sat down at the end and patted his own lap in a gentle gesture. “You are welcome to use me as your pillow if you want. I have wanted to get my hands on that amazing hair of yours for weeks now.” He said tenderly although his eyes glinted playfully. He didn’t push through, he sat patiently waiting for Alec to decide. 

A small surprised chuckle escaped from Alec at Magnus' antics and he laid down with his head on Magnus' lap.

Magnus burrowed his hands in Alec’s locks with a hesitant touch and breathed out slowly as if any sudden movement would scare Alec away. 

Alec's eyes were closed but he could feel Magnus' breath on his skin and his gentle touch as he played with Alec’s hair. It was nice and Alec started to slowly relax; he almost fell asleep when Magnus' voice brought him back. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” 

Alec's voice was hoarse as he answered with a quiet, “no.”

Magnus nodded understanding. Before he looked hesitantly down at Alec again. 

“Okay I understand but could I ask you two questions? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” 

Alec opened his eyes and looked up at Magnus’ he couldn’t find anything but kindness and understanding in his gaze so he ducked his head to show okay. 

“Was this your first attack?” Magnus asked. 

Alec shook his head slightly. 

“Did I do anything to make it worse?”

Alec shook his head vigorously. “You helped.”

Magnus smiled relieved, he had been worried about that. “Okay good.”

They stayed like that for a couple of more minutes before Magnus opened his mouth again. “Are you going to be okay? Or do you need us to go home for the day? Because it's okay if you do.”

Alec shook his head no and pushed himself off Magnus into a sitting position instead. “I’m okay. I’m sorry you had to see that.” He fidgeted with his fingers nervously. Now that the anxiety had eased off, he was once again feeling vulnerable and embarrassed.

Magnus slid down to the floor right in front of Alec, close enough that Alec could see the different colors swirling inside Magnus' eyes perfectly. 

“You never have to apologize for not feeling well Alec. I don’t care if it's a panic attack, a broken leg, or a cold. I’m more than happy to help and you don’t have to hide or go through it alone.” 

How could Magnus say that? Alec was supposed to be the one protecting him! But here he was showing how weak he really was, and Magnus was nothing but understanding. How could he be so nice about it? What if something had happened to Magnus and Alec had been incapacitated because he had a freaking panic attack. 

 Magnus bored his eyes into Alec’s, his eyes showing nothing but kindness and understanding. “There is nothing to feel embarrassed about. I hope you know that. I still trust you with my life, and nothing that has happened here today changes that.” 

Alec blushed, how was it that Magnus could read him so easily? 

Magnus stroked his cheek gently. “I’m here for you Alec. And if you want to talk, I will listen.” 

Alec blushed even worse now, Magnus’ fingers felt warm against his cold skin, his body always felt colder than normal after an attack. He couldn’t help but lean against the touch, wanting to savor the moment. 

“Thank you,” Alec said. Although it felt pitiful compared to everything he wanted to say. 

But Magnus lit up in a beautiful smile and held out his hand to help Alec up from the couch. 

“You ready?” he asked. 

Alec gazed at the door and then at Magnus, he nodded determinedly. He was ready.

Chapter Text

A week had passed since Alec’s panic attack. He had made it clear he didn’t want to talk about what had happened and Magnus was fine with that. He really was. Alec would talk about it when he was ready. 

But Magnus had to be blind not to notice that something had shifted between them after that day. Alec had slowly begun to open up more, he talked more and he was joking and teasing Magnus a lot more than before. He seemed to be a lot more at ease now than before the panic attack, almost as if the fact that Magnus hadn’t shunned him after Alec’s display of vulnerability had made Alec more relaxed. Like Magnus could ever judge someone for needing help, for feeling overwhelmed. He felt honored that Alec had trusted him enough to show himself vulnerable. And it made him immensely happy to see Alec more relaxed around him. 

They had so much fun together that half of the time Magnus even forgot why Alec was there in the first place, having him in the apartment felt more like having a normal roommate than having a “bodyguard”. They fitted together and their friendship was in many ways effortless in a way Magnus had never experienced before. Almost as if Alec was reading his mind half the time. 

He didn’t even want to think about a future where Alec wouldn’t be there anymore. Gone to work another case, whilst forgetting all about Magnus. The thought of losing that newfound connection — that friendship — scared the crap out of him. Alec meant a lot more to him than he should, in the short time they had known each other he had become an important part of Magnus’ life. 

Right now though Magnus was distracted by the horrified look on Alec's face. The blood had slowly drained from his face as Ragnor finished telling him that they wanted him to work as an extra during filming until he was pale as a ghost. Magnus would have felt sorry for him if he didn’t adore those pleading eyes and that displeased frown so much. Instead, Magnus couldn’t help but grin at Alec, ignoring the small flutter inside his chest as Alec sent him a withering look back. 

Magnus found it endearing that Alec was so afraid of the camera, the man fought bad guys for a living but being on camera scared the crap out of him. What made the fact even funnier was that Magnus knew that the camera would love Alec. First of all, he was gorgeous, and secondly, he had such expressive eyes, third he had a beautiful deep voice that would be greatly appreciated by the audience if he ever got a scripted line. 

“We just need you to take on a minor role as Magnus' opponent in the tournament. We need someone with great fighting skills that can adjust to Magnus' experience level. And to be honest none of the other actors can do that,” Ragnor explained. 

“But why not Jace? Or Izzy?” Alec asked, whilst staring down at his hands. 

“Jace and Magnus are agitating each other every practice and Izzy is too short for this, and also Izzy is not on the stunt team. We need someone that fits with Magnus in height and who is compatible with his fighting style. And you two will work brilliantly on camera I’m sure of it,” Ragnor said confidently. 

Alec pulled another unhappy face, and Magnus tried to hide his giggle the best he could behind his hand. He could imagine Alec’s internal struggle right now, a struggle of wanting to honor the promise they had all made at the start of the production, (that they were to help in every way they could) against his absolute hate for making a fool of himself. Not that Magnus thought that Alec would make a fool of himself, but he could bet that’s what Alec thought. 

Magnus smiled encouragingly, “I’m sure you would do great darling.” 

Alec closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths before opening them again. This time they were filled with determination. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Good man,” Ragnor said, patting him on the back. “You’ll have three hours to get ready before we start filming.”

Alec twitched his fingers nervously. Three hours? That was not enough time… Well, to be honest, years would not be enough time to get ready for this but three hours was like a blink of an eye. 

The fighting wasn’t the problem, but he had never fought with the purpose of looking good before, and to do it on camera for the world to see… His stomach churned uncomfortably just thinking about it. 

He was interrupted from his thoughts by a warm hand finding his. Magnus had taken Alec's hand in his and was now tugging on it in a gentle manner, “time to move darling, no time to waste.”

Alec got dragged down the hallways towards the training rooms at the back of the studio.  Magnus' hand felt warm and soft in his, his touch elicited a small tingly feeling in Alec’s body. He had never felt anything like it before, and although it made his pulse rise it wasn’t an unwelcome feeling. 

-–-—||-----

Magnus stood opposite him on the mat, his chest was visibly heaving up and down, his breathing strained after training for the last two hours. Alec was awed at how he still managed to look fabulous, even with sweat dripping from under his hairline, he still looked gorgeous. Alec couldn’t help but trace a couple of the drops with his eyes as they disappeared under the loose tank top. He swallowed, his mouth was suddenly feeling very dry, and his gut was fluttering with butterflies. 

Magnus smirked at him as their eyes met again. “Like what you see, pretty boy?”

Yes. 

“Stop flirting and attack me.” Alec said, deflecting. 

Magnus grinned devilishly. “Hmm let me just take my shirt off first. It’s just so hot in here, don’t you think?” He slipped his shirt off and flung it off to the side somewhere. His muscles rippled as he flexed deliberately to get Alec’s attention.

Alec swore quietly to himself, he knew it had been a mistake confirming to Magnus that he was gay the other night. It had slipped out a couple of days ago when they watched tv and Magnus had commented on how hot one of the guys was and Alec had agreed. Which in turn led to Alec telling the story of the first crush he ever had as a teenager. And ever since Magnus flirting had taken on a whole new level. As if he liked seeing Alec flustered. 

Magnus was ten times hotter than the guy on the tv, he was absolutely gorgeous, with well-defined muscles and glorious abs. And although he’s slimmer than Alec, Alec is pretty sure Magnus is probably just as strong as he is. 

Alec tried desperately not to stare at Magnus, he had seen Magnus shirtless before, in movies and one time very briefly in the loft but that was different. Magnus hadn’t been aware Alec was admiring him any of those times, and in here he was not only close to Magnus physically he was also here in a professional capacity and Magnus was only his to protect and not someone to drool over. And beyond that, they had developed a deep friendship between them in the last few weeks, and Alec did not want to mess that up. 

But it was very hard not to stare when a beautiful and amazing man was standing half-naked in front of you. His eyes strayed to Magnus’s abs and down his waistband, and he cursed all the gods for making his life so hard. 

He’s your assignment, someone you are there to protect, you need to be professional. 

He is my friend, we are friends, friends do not want to look at their friend’s amazing abs or the outline of their dicks. 

As his eyes settled on Magnus again, he caught Magnus looking incredibly smug. Darn it, he must have seen Alec look.  

“Okay let’s go again,” Alec said, his voice strained. 

Magnus laughed and proceeded by doing some intricate dance moves around Alec, avoiding his every attempt to attack. He jumped and spun like a maniac to avoid Alec’s attempts to strike him with the rubber sword. 

Alec huffed, “we are supposed to fight, not dance our sorrows away.” 

Magnus shot him a sly grin. “Oh I’m sorry,” he said and poked Alec with his own rubber sword right in the ribs. His eyes glinted mischievously. “You mean like that?” 

Alec rolled his eyes and pushed the rubber sword off of him. 

“Or do you mean like this?” Magnus said and swiped Alec with his right leg, tripping him down onto the mat.

Magnus looked delighted at Alec’s startled reaction, and then snickered excitedly at the fact that he had managed to overthrow Alec. Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus, the corner of his mouth forming into a sly smile. Before swiftly hooking his left leg around Magnus' right leg whilst using his own right leg to push Magnus forward, tripping him to the ground. What he hadn’t really anticipated was Magnus falling right on top of him. 

Alec tried to ease Magnus' fall and caught him with his arm so that the fall was slowed down. But Magnus still let out a surprised “oomph” sound as they hit the ground. And then Magnus started laughing. His whole body shook on top of Alec’s and the feeling made Alec start laughing too. It would have looked hilarious if anyone would have been there to witness it. 

“I won,” Alec said, smirking.  

“Oh please,” Magnus drawled. “In your dreams darling,” he said, smirking. Settling his eyes on Alec’s face. 

“If anything I won, as it so happens that I quite enjoy the view from here,” Magnus teased.  

A flutter erupted in Alec’s stomach as Magnus gazed at him with his mesmerizing golden eyes, they were speckled with flecks of green in them, and Alec was close enough that he could see every little shade of green. He was completely awestruck by them, they were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen and they looked back at him with so much fondness reflected in them. Alec’s breathing hitched as Magnus inched a little closer. 

They had never been this close before, he could feel Magnus' breath on his skin and smell the faint hint of sandalwood from his hair. He licked his lips, his mouth and lips felt incredibly dry. 

“Alec, Magnus, filming is about to start, you have to go get ready in hair and makeup.” Elias' voice came from the hallway. He was Ragnor's main assistant and he was in charge of getting everyone in position for filming. 

They scrambled up as if a fire was lit under their asses. 

Alec hurried towards the makeup department, without looking back to see if Magnus was following. What had just happened?

–-—-||-----

Shadowworld took place in the hidden kingdoms of Edomia and Alicante. Edomia was mainly the home of people with magical powers called warlocks. Their enemies are the Nephilim and they live in the kingdom of Alicante. There are also downworlders, they are people with no affiliations with either faction. They usually live scattered in the forests, mountains, and wastelands between Edomia and Alicante. Some downworlders also have special powers but it’s not always magic like the warlocks have. Most downworlders live as tradesmen, farmers, or mercenaries. 

Alec’s role in today's scene is that of a downworlder with special powers that help him be a better fighter, like speed, strength, and enhanced senses. He’s supposed to fight Magnus’ character, a prince of Edomia, in a jousting that's held as a celebration of his twenty-second birthday. 

Alec’s character is supposed to put up a hard fight that Magnus eventually wins with the help of magic, all so that he can show his preeminence to his people. 

But that’s not what is happening in the studio. 

Izzy, Jace, and Ragnor stare amazed at their friends' performances on screen. Alec had a huge grin on his face as he managed to get a hit in and toppled Magnus to the ground. His eyes sparkled with mirth as he twirled the sword boastfully.

Magnus jumped up from the ground in a beautiful arc, their swords clashing in midair. Magnus smirked at Alec’s surprised gasp, before proceeding with a twirl trying to surprise Alec enough to get a hit in at Alec’s leg which Alec parried beautifully. 

“You are good my dear, but not good enough” Magnus teased. Forgetting that they have a script to stick to. 

Alec snickered, “We’ll see, warlock.” Also not a scripted line. Alec had actually explicitly begged not to have any. He’s having way more fun than he expected. 

They matched each other perfectly, just like Ragnor thought they would. Magnus was graceful and quick whereas Alec was powerful and strategic. A trained eye could probably see that Alec was holding back some, but it was in no way obvious. He had to avoid certain fight styles he knew wouldn’t work on screen or those he knew Magnus wouldn’t be able to fend off. For the audience, it would be impossible to see if you didn’t know how Alec normally fought, on screen they looked evenly matched. 

“They look amazing,” Izzy said awed. 

Jace and Ragnor nodded in agreement. 

They met in a deadlock, neither was giving in, the camera zoomed onto their faces and managed to catch the exciting glints in their eyes. The camera had no problems capturing how much fun they were having. The twinkle in their eyes, their huge smiles, it was captivating and it showed off amazingly well on screen. 

Ragnor smiled pleased. “They have great chemistry. I haven’t seen Magnus have this much fun on screen since we started filming this season.” 

Lorenzo walked up next to Izzy, “your brother is not a bad actor,” he said, ogling Alec’s muscular frame.  

Izzy cast Jace a side-way glance, grimacing at Lorenzo checking their brother out. They both knew exactly what Alec thought of the man and he had no chance whatsoever with their big brother, but that didn’t mean they liked it when he was looking over Alec like he was a piece of meat. 

Izzy was also pretty sure Alec’s interest was already taken by another man. All he had to do was to get his act together and do something about it. 

They did a couple of more takes, there were a lot of angles to get right and minor stuff to alter or try in a different way but they still managed to finish well on time. Ragnor seemed really pleased by today's efforts and he had even asked Alec if he would be opposed to doing some more scenes in the future. To which Alec had answered with a shy, “maybe.” 

Magnus was ecstatic it had gone so well it had been too long since he felt this satisfied with his performance. He was so pleased that he had invited some people from the production home to the loft to celebrate. Alec sighed and mumbled something about breaking safety protocol when he heard Magnus invite the others. Still, he quieted down after he'd seen Magnus’ begging look. And also after hearing that his siblings were invited, meaning the would be more agents there in case anything happened

---—-||------

It was a joy seeing the loft filled with people again. It wasn’t that Magnus missed having parties, not really. He just really missed the freedom of being able to do anything he wanted, and he also missed people. The freedom to go out and meet people if he wanted to or the freedom to choose that he rather wanted a quiet night at home. Magnus hated feeling like he had no choice, and he genuinely missed his friends. 

Magnus had rung both Raphael and Cat on their way home, to invite them to join the others at the loft. Catarina unfortunately was working the night shift, she had a grueling schedule as an ER nurse so she couldn’t make it. 

Raphael, Ragnor, and Elias were sitting on the couch talking, they had been deep into their conversation since Raphael arrived. Raphael frowned at whatever Elias had just said and shook his head in disagreement. Raphael was clearly not agreeing with Elias, and Magnus snickered at Raphael’s displeased facial expression. He could imagine his friend's dry tone in his head as it had so many times been aimed at him. Ragnor was quick to put up his hands between them, to quiet them both down. 

Tessa, Will, and Jem were all situated on the other couch and they were immersed in a lively discussion about music, something about piano versus violin. Will was showing them something on his phone that looked like a youtube video. 

Izzy was talking to the head of their makeup department, Maia. Maia was a fierce and talented woman who had great taste in makeup and clothes. She was sharp and confident and she didn’t take bullshit from anyone, not even pompous actors. Magnus had observed her put more than one snobbish and rude actor in their place, in the past. He wholeheartedly approved of her confidence and cool demeanor. 

Alec and Jace were in the process of fixing the food, which meant that Jace had ordered pizza while Alec dished up snacks. Alec berated Jace after he had distracted him enough that he burned the garlic bread in the oven. Jace stuck out his tongue as Alec turned his back and Magnus rolled his eyes at Jace's childish behavior. He had no problems imagining them like this as children, Alec the responsible big brother, and Jace and Izzy getting into trouble. 

Magnus was in the living room making cocktails. No party was complete without a couple of well-made cocktails and Magnus was a great bartender, he had actually worked as a bartender before his acting career had taken off. 

“Ladies, your requested drinks.” Magnus winked before giving Maia and Izzy their cocktails. 

“Pizza is here,” Jace called out. Entering the living room from the hallway with 8 large pizza boxes. They contained both vegetarian and meat options since they couldn’t agree on just one option. Jace and Will had insisted that they just had to have pepperoni on their pizzas. 

Will cheered and raced forward to steal the boxes from Jace’s grasp. Jace, trying to evade him, almost dropped all the boxes on the floor. Jem laughed at them at first before standing up to go help Jace. It was probably best to not let Jace and Will be unsupervised with the food. 

Alec had set the table with dishes for people to collect so everyone could just take a plate and whatever food they wanted and then sit wherever there was space left. Magnus’ living room table was not big enough for eleven people so the floor and sofa had to suffice. Not that anybody cared, they didn’t need tables and chairs to have a good time. 

Alec had made a second batch of garlic bread and three different kinds of dip, he had also dished up chips and popcorn in addition to pizza. 

They talked and laughed as everyone told funny stories from the set. Magnus, Will, and Ragnor also told some stories from other movie projects they had been on before. 

The Lightwoods couldn’t share their actual backgrounds since not everyone present knew that they were actually agents and not employed by the production, but they still managed to share some funny stories from their college days. Especially Izzy had some funny stories about her partying days. 

Magnus was always on his toes offering more drinks to all the guests. He was never anything less than an excellent host and entertained them with stories that only got crazier the longer the evening went on. 

“And that’s how Cat and I broke out of police detention and met Luke.” Magnus finished.

“No way that’s what happened,” Jace said in disbelief. 

The corner of Magnus' mouth twitched amused, but he didn’t argue, he only winked at them and took another sip of his drink. 

Alec had barely had one drink, Magnus had offered to make him anything he wanted but Alec had graciously declined the offer more than once. Magnus had a hard time figuring out if it was because he didn’t like alcohol or if it was because he felt some kind of obligation to stay sober. He really hoped it wasn’t because of obligation, Alec deserved to relax and have fun for one evening and there were police stationed outside on the street in case of an emergency. 

The others seemed to be pretty drunk by now, Except for Alec only Elias, Tessa, and Raphael seemed to be somewhat sober. Magnus himself was feeling positively intoxicated, his brain starting to feel fussy. 

“Let’s play a drinking game,” Will slurred. 

“Oh oh, let’s play, never have I ever, ” Izzy said excitedly. 

“Izzy no,” Alec groaned. 

“Yes Alec,” Izzy and Jace retorted simultaneously.  

“I already know more about Magnus’ life than I want to,” Rapahel quipped. 

“What about Ragnor?” Magnus said, gesturing dramatically between them. “You know at least as much about him?

“Nope he and I are good,” Raphael answered. 

Magnus looked affronted, “That’s seriously insulting,” He said. Glancing at them both with a displeased frown. Until Raphael's eyes started twitching under Magnus’s intense stare. “Hmm that’s interesting,” He said, raising an eyebrow toward Raphael. 

But the man didn’t respond, he continued staring blankly at Magnus. 

“Since you seem so eager Raphael,” Jem teased, breaking the tension, “Why don’t you start?”

Raphael rolled his eyes and said, “never have I ever participated in a stupid immature game.” 

They all drank. 

And that's the start of an onslaught of questions. Magnus drinks for almost all of them.  

“Never have I ever danced naked.”

“Never have I ever sent a drunk text to the wrong person.”

“Never have I ever been arrested.”

“Never have I ever participated in a threesome.”

Magnus drank on all of them and many more, his head was beyond fussy at that point. The room was swaying and he was slurring quite a bit. Meanwhile, Alec had barely touched his drink. His siblings on the other hand were almost as drunk as Magnus. 

“Never have I ever wanted to kiss someone in this room.” 

Things go quiet, everyone is eying each other trying to establish if they’re going to drink or not. 

And then Alec raised his glass and drank. 

Magnus felt his mouth go dry — Alec wants or has wanted to kiss someone in that room. Magnus couldn't help but wonder who that person was, he hoped it was him. He almost believed it was him, he desperately wanted to think it was him. His head was too fussy to sort out those thoughts right then. 

Magnus felt himself lifting the glass, he had to drink; he has been guilty of wanting to kiss someone. Alec’s lips were plump and somewhat wet after the sip he just had and Magnus wanted to kiss him right then. But of course, he didn't; instead, he took an extra sip.

Magnus wasn't the only other person that drank, after him, there were Tessa, Will, Jem, Jace, and Maia. 

Nobody said anything about it, no one asked who, even though they were all thinking about it. 

After that, the game slowly died down. Some of them were lost in their own thoughts and some were just too drunk to keep going. 

A little while later Magnus' guests began to drop off, it was late and they had filming tomorrow. Izzy and Jace are the last to leave and then it was just Magnus and Alec again. 

The room was spinning and the floor didn't feel straight, Magnus had no choice but to take hold of one of the walls to save himself from falling over. He did not feel well and he needed to lie down, but his bedroom and his bed were so far away. And his body didn't feel at all like he was used to, and the floors felt wonky, and his legs weren't doing what he wanted them to.

Why is this stupid hallway so long and has it always been so crooked? He couldn't remember it ever being that hard to reach his bedroom before. 

He contemplated laying down right there in the hallway. It couldn't be that bad sleeping in the hallway, right? At least there was a carpet right there. 

“Magnus. Do you need help?” The sound of Alec’s voice was like a soothing balm to his intoxicated soul. 

“The floor is crooked,” Magnus slurred, confused. 

Alec chuckled and put a hand on Magnus' shoulder to steady him. 

“It’s not funny. the floor is mean and it won’t let me sleep,” Magnus said, trying to focus his eyes enough to stare angrily at the floor. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec teased. “Will you let me help you?” 

Magnus nodded before trying to steady his gaze on Alec but it was hard, he had no idea which one of the three Alecs in front of him it was that he should be looking at. 

He pointed a wavering finger at Alec number one, “You... Pretty Boy — help me,” He slurred.  

Alec hoisted Magnus in his arms bridal style. Which made Magnus let out a surprised yelp.  

Mmm, he smells so good , Magnus drew in a large breath and hummed satisfied. He snuggled closer and rested his head against Alec’s chest. 

He’s so deliciously tall and muscular. 

“Magnus, do you know you are speaking out loud?” Alec asked amused. 

“mmm, what?” Magnus asked confused. “Spekng of wht? — I not spekng?” He’s slurring. 

What was Alec talking about? He hadn't said anything. 

Alec chuckled. “My mistake,” he said.   

Alec put him gently down on the bed, Magnus instantly missed the warmth and safety of being carried in Alec's arms.  

“No don’t go,” Magnus whined. 

Alec took Magnus’ hand gently in his squeezing it. “I’m just going to help you. I need to take off your makeup, so I’m just going into the bathroom to fetch your makeup wipes. Why don’t you try and see if you can change into this t-shirt while I’m gone?” 

Alec handed Magnus one of his sleeping t-shirts and walked off to the en-suite bathroom in search of makeup wipes. 

Magnus managed to crawl out of his tight pants, but the small buttons of his shirt were not coming off. He stared at them angrily, why are they so small and stupid? 

Alec came out with makeup wipes in his hand and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

He held up a makeup wipe. “Can I?”

Magnus yawned and nodded, he was too damn tired for this. 

Alec cleaning Magnus' face with gentle sure movements like he had used them multiple times before. He was even careful with Magnus’ eyelashes. He put down the wipes and helped Magnus with the last of the buttons on the shirt. He then slid it off Magnus' shoulders and handed him the t-shirt. 

“Put it on please.“ Alec’s voice sounded thicker than normal. “I’m just going to get you a glass of water.” 

Magnus pouted as Alec walked out, he was stuck trying to get the bloody shirt on by himself. And he was not very successful. 

Magnus was well on his way to nod off when Alec arrived back a few minutes later. Magnus’ shirt forgotten on the floor. 

“Magnus,” Alec said quietly. 

“mmhm” Magnus answered. 

“Can you just sit up for a minute? You need to drink this or you are going to feel even worse tomorrow,” Alec begged. 

Alec helped Magnus sit up so that Magnus could drink the water. He was so tired and the alcohol weighed heavy on his mind and body. The cold water was clearly what he needed despite all those drinks. He drank it greedily, his mind clearing some for every sip. 

He looked up at Alec, the man's hazel eyes somehow glowing in the darkness of the room. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he said. 

He laid back down, no longer able to keep his eyes open, sleepiness embracing him as a long-lost friend. 

Alec carefully brushed a strand of Magnus’ hair out of his forehead, “Always” he said and walked out to the sound of Magnus’ heavy breathing. The actor was already asleep. 

Chapter Text

What is that foul taste? 

Magnus groaned loudly as he slowly woke up from his deep sleep. His head felt like it was under attack by a jackhammer and his mouth tasted awful like something had crawled in there and died during the night. He swallowed a couple of times hoping that it would somehow get rid of the soreness and bad taste in his mouth. Magnus rubbed gently over his throat trying to soothe the ache from the outside, but it felt just as sore and scratchy as before. He was in desperate need of water. 

He hesitantly opened his eyes, preparing for the temporary blindness that he knew would follow, but the sunlight was not at all as harsh as he had feared. The room was actually much darker than it should be, based on his previous experience with waking up hangover. As his eyes adjusted, he realized that he could only see two small light sources, one coming in from under the door and the second by a small crack left open in between the curtains. 

He blinked in surprise, trying to remember if he had closed them before going to bed last night, but he couldn’t remember much. His memory was mostly blank to what had happened after they finished playing “never have I ever” the night before. 

He blinked a couple of more times, forcing his eyes to adjust even though the light was faint it was still a bit much for his sore eyes. He was always a bit extra sensitive to light in the morning after drinking a bit too much. 

As he slowly adjusted back to the land of the living he started to look around for any signs of how the night had ended. There wasn’t much, but he noticed a bottle of water on his nightstand and a bottle of aspirin next to it, and yesterday's clothes were neatly folded and stacked on top of his dresser. 

He scrunched up his face thinking, his head pounding painfully as he tried to focus. It wasn’t like him to take such good care of himself and his surroundings when he was drunk and although he couldn’t remember anything, he was pretty sure last night hadn’t been any different. 

He hissed out in pain as tried to shuffle a bit higher up on the pillows, (clearly now wasn’t the time to ponder on last night's events), his head was slowly killing him. He reached for the water and the aspirin, swallowing down a couple of painkillers with big gulps of water. 

He then slowly reached for his phone, it was 08.30, and he had to be at the studio by 11.00 am. It normally took close to half an hour to reach the studio without traffic. He slid down his pillows and buried himself under the comforter, he still had some time to recover. He needed to shower and then eat breakfast, preferably with lots of coffee, but first a couple of more minutes of sleep. 

Magnus slowly made his way out of bed and into the bathroom half an hour later. 

He stared at his face in the bathroom mirror, Hmm that’s odd there are no raccoon-like circles around my eyes. Again that didn’t seem likely either. He shrugged at his mirror image, Ouch that hurt , and winced. His head clearly needed some time before those aspirins kicked in. 

He walked into the shower and turned on the scalding hot water. The hot water helped relax his sore neck and back and ease his headache. He let a satisfied moan slip out, it felt so good, and he could feel himself returning to a more human state little by little. 

After a twenty-minute-long shower and brushing his teeth, he finally felt a bit more alive. His headache had almost disappeared completely and now he desperately needed some coffee. 

He walked out into the hallway, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and pancakes coming from the kitchen and it made his mouth water. Alec’s pancakes were amazing, he had made them for Magnus two times before and Magnus had become somewhat obsessed with them.  

“My savior, my hero,” Magnus said as soon as he entered the kitchen. “Is that the world's best pancakes I smell?” 

Alec blushed slightly, nodding, he really was the worst at taking compliments. 

He handed Magnus a large cup, of coffee with milk and sugar just as he liked it.

“Yeah you seemed to be kind of out of it last night,” Alec said, pulling out a chair for Mangus to sit on. “So I hoped pancakes would help. I have witnessed Izzy and Jace’s hangovers enough times to know that what they crave after a night out are sugar and fat,” Alec said with a fond smile. The same one that made a regular appearance when he talked about his siblings.    

“I guess you are the one I should thank for not waking up looking like a raccoon?” Magnus asked. Even though he was sure of what the answer would be. 

Alec, put down a plate with a stack of pancakes on the table, before sitting down opposite Magnus at the table. 

“Yeah. You needed a little help. I hope I didn’t overstep?” Alec said, looking unsure. 

Magnus shook his head, “Of course, not Alexander. It was very sweet. I have never had anyone taking care of me like that before.” 

Alec frowned. “Never?” 

“Never,” he confirmed. Before averting his eyes from the huge stack of pancakes. Hoping that Alec would take the hint. He was afraid of what Alec would say if he knew about Magnus’ past. The crashed relationships, of all the times he had hoped for true love only to be told he wasn’t good enough. 

Magnus sighed contentedly as he took his first bite of chocolate chip pancake. 

“Thank you, Alexander, you are truly an angel,” Magnus said thankfully. Whilst reaching out to squeeze Alec’s hand. 

Alec squeezed back. “It’s nothing really. I like taking care of you,” he said. 

Magnus smiled, Alec was truly too good for this world. 

They ate mostly in silence after that, Magnus was still not a hundred percent and Alec had some reports he was going through that had come from their head office. Multiple files were spread across the kitchen table. 

Magnus started to clear the dishes after breakfast when Alec called for him. 

“Magnus, can you come, and look at this for a second?” Alec looked up from the papers spread across the table. “And you don’t have to do that,” he said pointing at the dishes. 

“Sure what is it? And I want to.” Magnus said, gesturing between Alec and the dishes still remaining on the kitchen table. “You cooked this delicious breakfast for us, so the least I can do is wash up.”

He put the last plate in the cupboard and walked over to Alec, looking down. “So what am I looking at here?”

“Here,” Alec said. Pointing to a section of pictures. “Do you recognize any of these?”

Magnus scrutinized the four men in the pictures. “Hmm maybe. That one looks kind of familiar to me, but I don’t know why.” Magnus said and pointed at the man in the left corner picture. 

He peered over the other documents and his eyes stopped at one that appeared to be a long list of different criminal offenses. At the top of each column was a name; 

Emil Pangborn, charges including extortion, blackmail, aggravated assault, and money laundering. 

Anson Pangborn, charges including attempted assault, drug trafficking, and bribery. 

Samuel Blackwell, charges including drug possession, drug trafficking, extortion, and assault. 

Charles Freeman, charges including kidnapping, tax evasion, and money laundering. 

These were all well-known criminals, and if Alec was looking at them, well then he probably thought that they had something to do with Magnus' case. Magnus felt sick, maybe his dad was involved, after all. He swallowed past the lump forming in his throat, he had managed to escape once, and if he had to, he could do it again. 

“Are you okay?” Alec looked concerned about Magnus' sudden reaction. 

“Yeah — Yeah. I’m fine.”

Magnus glanced down at the pictures once more. He could have sworn he had seen the red-headed man in the upper left picture before. But he couldn’t place where.“Does this have anything to do with Asmodeus?”  

Alec looked down chewing his lip. “We can’t be sure. But your father has some very powerful enemies. So we can’t rule it out.” 

Magnus shuddered and took a small step back. “Please don’t call him that.” His chest was tightening just thinking about his childhood and he started feeling a bit sick to his stomach. “The only bond we share is biological… I don’t want anything to do with him. He’s a monster.” 

His fingers trembled just thinking about what his childhood had been like before that fateful night when Luke had found him. He could have ended up in jail with Asmodeus or even dead. 

Alec turned and took Magnus' fingers and squeezed them between his hands. “I’m sorry. For what you went through. Even though I don’t know the full story, I can’t imagine that it was particularly good.” Alec looked up from under his lashes, his eyes filled with care and kindness. 

Magnus held his breath, blinking away any tears threatening to break out. He swallowed a couple of times to get his voice under control. 

“He’s vicious and he doesn’t give a shit about anyone, and even less about me.” Magnus narrowed his eyes. “If his enemies think they will get a reaction out of him by hurting me, they are way off base. He doesn’t care about me…” 

Alec stood up and gave Magnus a hug. “We will find whoever is doing this.”

Magnus released a shaky breath and nodded into Alec’s neck. “I know you will. I trust you.”

---—-||------

Ragnor had somehow managed to persuade Alec into doing some more scenes in the show. He and the rest of the management team were highly satisfied with his performance in the fighting scene and had offered him a small permanent position as an actor for the remainder of the season.

What Ragnor had said to persuade Alec to say yes, remained a mystery for the rest of the production. 

Magnus was more than thrilled to have Alec back on stage, they had had so much fun together the other day. They had such good chemistry that Ragnor and Elliott had decided to scrap Magnus and Tessa's budding romance and instead let it take a natural course toward friendship. Ragnor argued that the audience would notice the difference in chemistry between Mangus and Tessa versus Magnus and Alec. Ragnor meant that it was important to make every relationship seem believable.

It had caused some chaos among the writers since a lot of scenes needed rewriting and some of the actors were less than pleased since it meant they had to reshoot some of their previous scenes. But Ragnor had remained firm in his decision. He wanted to do the right thing for the audience, and that was to give them the best show he could. 

Magnus was curious as to what exactly Ragnor had managed to get Alec to agree on. Had he actually agreed to play Magnus’ love interest? He desperately wanted to know but Ragnor and Alec remained tight-lipped as to what his part entailed. 

At least Tessa seemed okay with it all, she had every right to be angry and disappointed since this meant she was getting a smaller part. But Ragnor had promised to develop her storyline more for season three instead. 

They were filming a scene where Magnus' character Jonah, rode with his guards through a forest and then got attacked by some rogue bandits. Alec’s character’ Samuel was supposed to swoop in and save Jonah from getting killed in the attack. 

It was chaotic to act in a fight scene with so many people, horses, and different explosions going off and you always had to know where to step so you didn’t mess up the special effect that needed to be put into place afterward. 

Alec was just about to jump onto a carriage so that his character Samuel could get a better vantage point when he heard a loud crack. One of the scaffolds had somehow come loose from the safety anchors in the wall and it was leaning forward to fall at any second.

It only took a second for Alec to notice that the scaffold was about the crash right where Magnus was standing. Magnus was in the middle of the scene pretending to shoot a magical fireball at another actor further down the stage. There was no chance that he had noticed the scaffold that was about to topple right on top of him.  

Alec ran as fast as he could onto the top of the carriage and jumped.  

He managed to push Magnus and himself out of the way right before he heard the large crash of the scaffold hitting the ground. 

A large BOOM echoed over the set and everyone grew dead quiet for a couple of seconds… And then the shock settled and people started shouting. 

Alec breathed heavily, his heart was beating fast and his pulse was racing, adrenaline coursing through his body. He could see people running in a panic towards the entrance in his periphery. But all he cared about was Magnus and the fact that they were both safe! He had made it to Magnus in time. 

Alec glanced down at Magnus, the actor was pinned between him and the floor and he was shaking violently but appeared otherwise physically unharmed. 

Alec pushed himself off Magnus not wanting to crush the man with the added weight of his body and crouched down next to him instead. He leaned over Magnus trying to protect him from prying eyes, the actor was clearly in a state of shock. He looked increasingly pale and his eyes were wide open. He stared at Alec with hazy, unfocused eyes, as Alec gently brushed some of Magnus' hair out of his face.  

He cupped his hand tenderly around Magnus' face. “You’re okay Magnus, I got you, you're okay, I’ve got you,'' Alec said slowly. Trying his best to convey that they were safe. Although he was pretty sure Magnus barely heard anything he was saying at the moment. Alec tried to keep his voice calm and soothing as he continued to repeat that they were safe, because even though Magnus wasn't capable of focusing on the words, maybe he at least could take in the sentiment.  

Alec looked around the room again. He could see Ragnor and Elias herding people out from the set. And Lorenzo screamed at Jace for not letting him go back into the room to collect his phone.  

In the corner of his eye, he noticed Izzy approaching, she was walking fast toward him and Magnus. She had probably witnessed what happened, he knew that she tried to watch as much of the filming as possible. He could hear her heels clicking against the floor at a fast pace, the sound growing louder as she was coming closer. As she closed in, Alec held up his hand to stop her, he didn’t want her to spook Magnus. 

Alec turned his head slightly toward her and said quietly. “Get a paramedic in here just in case. I don’t think he’s hurt but I won’t take any chances.” 

Izzy cast a quick glance toward Magnus before nodding and turning back to where she came from. 

Alec turned his eyes back to Magnus. The actor looked better, his breathing had slowed down some and his eyes were more focused on Alec.

“Hey,” Alec said softly, brushing his cheek. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah… I’m okay.” Magnus answered, his voice quivering. 

His eyes wandered to the scaffold. “What happened?”

“The scaffold got loose from the wall,” Alec explained.

Magnus nodded slowly, his eyes seemed lost though like he couldn’t process what Alec had just told him. 

“You are safe. It was an accident.” Alec said assuredly. 

“Was anyone else hurt?” Magnus asked after being quiet for over a minute. 

Alec shook his head, “No one else was hurt. Are you hurt?”

Magnus grimaced, “Only a little bruised.” 

Alec squeezed his hand. “We will have you checked out in a minute.” 

When the paramedic arrived, Magnus was sitting up and he was much calmer than before. The paramedics checked him for injuries but thanks to Alec he only had a few bruises from when he hit the ground. They gave him something to sleep later but assessed that he was in a good enough condition that he didn’t need to come with them to the hospital. 

They told Alec to keep an eye on him so that he wouldn’t go into shock again later on. They assessed the risk to be slim but told him to watch out for the signs for at least a couple of more hours. And then they told them to go home. 

Alec took Izzy and Jace to the side so that no one could hear them and whispered, “take some criminal forensics down here and check the scaffolding. It seems like too much of a coincidence that it just happened to get loose from the wall right where Magnus stood.” 

They both glanced at Magnus, he was busy talking to Raphael and Ragnor, “Sure thing Alec,” Jace said. Izzy hugged him, “I’m glad you are okay big brother. And Magnus too.” 

Alec smiled, his eyes wandering towards Magnus, “yeah me too.” 

-—---||------

They had arrived at the loft two hours ago and Magnus had been on his feet and talking ever since. It was as if he’d got a big adrenaline rush after the shock subdued or something. Or something else was bothering him because Alec had a hard time keeping up with him. Magnus moved around from room to room mumbling to himself simultaneously as he moved stuff around, cleaned, or just looked unsatisfied at something that Alec for the life of him couldn’t see anything wrong with; Like the bookcase, the living room walls, the desk in his office or the closet in the master bedroom. 

Alec had asked multiple times if Magnus needed to lay down or if he needed help with anything, but Magnus just smiled at him and dismissed him with a causal wave and a,“no need darling.” 

It was really getting under Alec's skin, he knew Magnus was hurting, not just about today but everything that had happened in the last couple of months. Alec wanted to help, he hated feeling helpless, and right now watching Magnus that was exactly what he felt like. 

What could he do? He just wanted to help.

Chairman Meow suddenly jumped up on the sofa right on Alec’s lap and pushed on the remote with his paw as he landed in Alec’s lap. He trampled around a couple of times before he laid down seemingly satisfied. Alec smiled and petted the Chairman carefully behind the ear. He wasn’t really an affectionate cat but he had his moments and Magnus loved him dearly. 

He got an idea, Magnus always teased Alec for being an old soul, he barely watched any tv that his siblings hadn’t forced him to watch and he knew very little about pop culture including Magnus’ favorite reality show project runway.  

He took the remote and flipped between the channels before he found that the latest season of project runway was about to start in fifteen minutes. 

Alec mused for a second before he called for Magnus. “Magnus?”

“Yes, Alexander,” Magnus' head popped in from the kitchen. 

Alec rolled his eyes fondly. “Do you remember when you promised to teach me about pop culture?”

Magnus' face lit up and he beamed. “But of course darling.”

“Now’s your chance,” Alec said and gestured towards Chairman. “I’m unable to move and there’s an episode of project runway in ten minutes.” 

Magnus’s eyes graced over Chairman and then over at Alec and his smile morphed into something softer. “That sounds wonderful. Let me just make some popcorn and I will be with you in five minutes.” 

Ten minutes later, project runway was starting and Magnus had snuggled up against Alec, his head nuzzled against Alec’s shoulder with Alec’s arm wrapped around him protectively and a fuzzy blanket wrapped around his legs. They both had a hand in Chairman’s fur, slowly petting him in rhythmic soothing motions, the cat purred happily. 

Alec had never been the one for physical affection. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he wanted to, he had just never found someone that he was comfortable enough with. In Alec’s mind, cuddling had always seemed great but somehow it had always been awkward and uncomfortable in real life. He usually shied away when people tried to touch him in real life. The only ones he hugged or touched in an affectionate way were his siblings. At least they had been up until recently.  

With Magnus, it felt different. Magnus was a naturally affectionate person and it didn’t feel forced or awkward when he hugged or touched him. It had always felt natural, Alec wanted to hug the actor, holding his hand, and snuggle on the couch. It felt right being close to Magnus, and Magnus always got this happy little smile on his face whenever Alec responded positively to his touch. 

Alec sighed happily and closed his eyes. This felt right.  

—---||-----

Alec groaned as he woke up and felt his sore back, what happened ? Also, his right hand was completely numb. He opened his eyes, he had to blink a couple of times adjusting to the sunlight streaming through the windows. 

It was so bright, why was it so bright? 

And why did his chest feel that heavy?

His eyes wandered around the room trying to position himself, it only took a few seconds to realize he was in the living room, the tv was still on so they must have fallen asleep while watching. There were no blinds in the living room, so it was way too bright. It also explained why his back felt so sore, the sofa wasn’t made to sleep in. 

His mouth felt a little dry but not more than normal so he wasn’t sick, just dehydrated. So that couldn’t be why his chest felt heavy. He looked down at his chest, tufts of black hair tickled his nose and he could see an arm wrapped around his waist. 

Magnus.

Alec felt a flutter in his stomach as he looked down at Magnus' sleeping form. His breath tickled Alec’s skin, and he murmured inaudibly before he tightened his grip around Alec. The flutter increased and spread inside his body like wildfire. His mind was screaming at him to touch Magnus, to run his fingers through his thick hair. But he knew he shouldn’t. He didn’t want to spook Magnus, and he definitely didn’t want to take advantage of him in any way. 

Magnus was laying close to the edge of the couch and Alec was trying to be mindful of the risk of him falling off. So Alec circled Magnus’ body with his arm, holding it along Magnus' back and around his waist so that the man couldn’t fall off the couch, and if Magnus happened to do any sudden movement Alec would probably wake in time to catch him. 

When satisfied that Magnus wouldn’t likely fall off the couch anymore, his eyes dropped once again and he was soon lulled back to sleep by Magnus' calm breathing and his warm body. 

When he woke up again a while later, Magnus was gone from the couch, he had clearly been awake for a while since the spot he slept in was already cold to Alec’s touch. Alec listened for him and he could soon hear Magnus swearing as he pottered around in the kitchen. 

Alec stood up and stretched, trying to get his body to wake up. It was stiff from sleeping on the couch all night. He better go help Magnus, or the kitchen might burn down, Magnus really was a terrible chef.

Chapter Text

“So tell me, Alexander, how are your dancing skills?” Magnus asked, leaning against the wall with his arms across his chest. His eyes wandered over Alec’s body, assessing him.   

Alec swallowed the last bite of his lunch slowly before throwing his empty drink in the trash can “Why— do you want to know about my dancing skills, Magnus?” Alec retorted, narrowing his eyes at Magnus suspiciously.  

“Well…” Magnus paused. “I have this gala I have to attend this weekend. And I need a plus one.” 

“No Magnus. No gala. How am I supposed to protect you around hundreds of people?” Alec asked, shaking his head in frustration. 

Magnus smiled mischievously. “By being my date of the course.” 

Alec glared at him, and mouthed a quiet NO. 

Magnus tilted his head whilst fluttering his eyelashes. “Pretty please.” 

“Magnus,” Alec said, sounding exasperated. “it’s a bad idea. It’s not safe. And I don’t dance.” 

“I’ve seen the way you move when you fight, you seriously telling me that you can’t dance?” Magnus said, unconvinced. 

Alec smirked, “I said that I don’t dance, not that I couldn’t.” 

Magnus opened his mouth to protest, but Alec held up his hand. “I don’t like to dance. I hated every moment of it growing up, all the girls my parents forced me to dance with. It was pure torture.” 

Magnus sunk down. His shoulders hunched and his gaze stuck on the floor. 

“I haven’t missed the yearly MoMa gala in 7 years. The gala is hosted to raise money for a charity that works with helping orphaned kids and kids placed in foster care.” 

He looked up from under his lashes in a last pleading effort, “I can’t miss it. I just can’t. if you don’t want to dance fine we won’t, but please I can’t miss it.” 

Alec felt his heart breaking a little, although his mind was still screaming no. He couldn’t bring himself to say no to Magnus on this. He didn’t know much about Magnus' upbringing but he knew enough to understand that this cause was important to him. 

“Okay,” he said faintly. 

Magnus startled. “Wait what… Did you just say okay?” 

Alec closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose… “Yeah. I’ll go.” 

Magnus sprung from the wall and ran over to hug him. “Thank you, Alexander.” 

He buried his head into Alec’s neck, “You are truly an angel,” he breathed out. Magnus’ breath tingled against Alec’s skin and the agent just about managed to suppress a shiver. 

Ale kept Magnus in his arms even as he took a small step back so that he could look right into Magnus’ eyes. His piercing golden orbs glittered happily, making the green speckles in his irises stand out even more. Alec’s breath got stuck in his throat and he had to force himself to muster up his most serious expression. “But no dancing.” 

“Alexander,” Magnus whined. “You can’t expect me to keep my hands from your glorious body all night. It's just not fair.”

Alec rolled his eyes at Magnus' attempt to persuade him. That was until Magnus leaned close and ran his hands suggestively down Alec's chest. His breath ghosted over Alec’s skin as he whispered into his ear, “we could have so much fun you and I.”

Alec swallowed nervously. Magnus' hands left Alec feeling like he was on fire. “You promised, no dancing.” he croaked out. 

Magnus took a small step back, his eyes searching Alec’s before he finally relented. 

“Fine. I give up! No dancing.”

It took only a few seconds before his eyes lit up in a mischievous twinkle. 

“I suspect everyone there is going to be jealous of me anyways. Having a tall, muscular, and really hot FBI agent on my arm. And the are a lot of other fun ways we could entertain ourselves. In a dark corner somewhere.” Magnus said, winking.  

Alec’s mouth flew open. Magnus thought he was worth parading around. And what Magnus was suggesting, the sheer thought made his mouth dry and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. 

Magnus placed his finger under Alec’s chin and closed his mouth for him. “You really need to look into a mirror sometime darling.” 

“You can’t tell anyone I’m an FBI agent” Alec blurted out. Before blushing as he realized what he just said.

What the fuck Alec? He would have paid anything to be able to sink under the ground in that moment. 

FLIRT back your idiot. 

NO!!! You can’t. 

Magnus snickered. “Oh I’m not going to. You are far too enticing already without letting that little secret out.” Magnus winked at him before turning, sauntering away. 

Alec was stunned, what on earth had just happened? He watched as Magnus walked off. 

“What — I. Magnus wait.” Alec shouted after him. 

--—--||------

On the day of the gala, Alec was seriously regretting every decision that had brought him to that moment. He tugged at his tie, hoping it would loosen up a bit, he hadn’t dressed up like this since his graduation from the academy and he hadn’t missed it one bit. He glanced up at the mirror and grimaced at his reflection. He had forgotten how uncomfortable he felt dressing up like this. As he kept staring at himself in the mirror Alec concluded that he looked just as uncomfortable as he was feeling. If it weren’t for Magnus he would have pulled the tie off his neck already, but Magnus had looked so happy when Alec, the day before, had happened to mention that he had to go home to retrieve his suit. Alec pushed his hair out of his face and sighed, I’m doing this for Magnus, he reminded himself. 

A loud gasp coming from behind him startled him out of his thoughts. 

Alec turned around, the air knocked out of his lungs as he laid his eyes on Magnus. 

Magnus looked stunning, he had a dark red suit jacket with black embroideries, or maybe it was the other way around. Alec was kind of fashion blind after all. Either way, it looked amazing on Magnus, hugging his body perfectly, and it was paired with a pair of sinfully tight black pants. He had streaks of dark red in his hair, and his eyes were highlighted and glittered with some dark kohl. 

His lips were covered in something that made them shimmer, which made his mouth look all the more inviting with the way it was smirking at Alec right now. 

“Do you like it?” Magnus asked, although the smug look on his face told Alec that he probably already knew the answer. 

“Y—Yeah. You look beautiful,” Alec stuttered, a blush coloring his cheeks. 

Magnus' face softened. “You look very handsome yourself, pretty boy.” 

He walked over and let his fingers run down over Alec’s lapels. “Blue is definitely your color.” 

He looked up from under his lashes, his eyes locking with Alec’s. Alec shuddered at their closeness, he could feel Magnus' breath on his skin. He had never felt like this before. Like his skin was alight with fire, at the faintest touch from Magnus. Like a single kiss could have the potential to destroy him. 

Magnus' eyes were filled with something resembling heat, and it made something flutter inside his gut. Alec swallowed audibly and licked his lips.  

Magnus leaned in, his breath ghosting against Alec’s skin. 

Alec's eyes were locked on Magnus' mouth. He simply wasn’t able to look away at this point. Magnus smiled and darted out his tongue to wet his lips. 

Was Magnus about to kiss him? 

HELP. 

And then Magnus leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Alec could have sworn he heard Magnus utter a quiet, “not now,” before leaning back. 

It felt like electricity in the air between them. Magnus looked at him with something so soft and aching that it made Alec lose his breath for a second. He had never wished he had the ability to read minds more than at that moment.  

He let out a shaky breath, he hadn’t even realized he was holding in, and wiped his now sweaty palms on his pants. 

Magnus cleared his throat, “ready?” He asked, holding out his arm for Alec to take, a teasing smile on his lips. 

Alec nodded and took Magnus' offered arm. 

---—-||------

The Museum of Modern Art was a huge building in the middle of New York. Magnus had been there many times before but Alec had told him it was his first time going there. Not that Alec had needed to tell him that. The way he'd looked at the building and its contents with quiet awe ever since they stepped over the threshold five minutes ago said it all. 

The huge white rooms of the museum were filled with colorful paintings, different sculptures, and other creations. It was enough to swallow a whole day of your time if you were to see it all.  

Magnus had of course seen it all before but Alec hadn’t, and once he had taken it all in, he had a hundred different questions and opinions about everything they saw;

Why does that figure have a huge nose? 

Why would anyone want a chair you can’t sit on? 

What is that panting supposed to be? 

It looks like someone threw up on that canvas. 

Alec had stopped in front of a picture that looked like a kid had taken a crayon and just went berserk on a large piece of paper. He frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion and frustration. 

“Who likes this kind of stuff?” He said and gestured to the painting. “I could paint that.” 

Magnus shrugged, “I don’t know Alexander. But it’s worth two million dollars so someone must think it’s good.” He patted Alec’s arm, in a display of affection and sympathy. 

Alec grumbled about the madness of it all. “Two million dollars… Two Million, Magnus? How can a painting be worth more than I will make in my whole career?” 

“I don’t know darling,” Magnus took his hand and led him away from the painting, “Although I could probably be persuaded to pay a whole lot for a painting of you, darling,” Magnus said, dragging his eyes over Alec while winking suggestively. 

They walked slowly along the hallway, every couple of steps Alec stopped to look at another painting or sculpture. His eyes sometimes strayed to the plaque and the figures that were sometimes written there. 

After Alec had insulted the fifth work in a row Magnus knew it was time to get to the hall.  

“We better be going into the banquet hall before you have offended every work in here,” he said, grinning. 

Alec shoot him a disgruntled look. “I haven’t hated everything... I liked the cow sculpture,” he mumbled. 

Alec was too adorable for his own good, Magnus thought. He looks all stoic and threatening to those that didn’t know him but in reality, he was really sweet and apparently with a soft spot for cows. Magnus was just so unbelievably smitten with that man. 

Magnus stopped dead in his tracks. 

What was that? OH no. 

Magnus breathed out slowly, realization dawned on him. 

He likes Alec, more than likes, more than a simple attraction. Smitten. A crush. 

Oh fuck. 

Alec reverted him back to reality, “Magnus are you okay?” Alec asked, his eyes searching Magnus’ face for answers. 

Magnus attempted a smile. “Sorry, darling. My thoughts just got away from me for a moment.” 

Alec looked unconvinced but he nodded and smiled at Magnus. “If you say so. But I’m here if you want to talk.” 

Oh boy. I’m so unbearably screwed. Magnus' heart skipped a beat at Alec’s easy reassurance. 

The grand hall was simply stunning with floor-to-wall windows out into the courtyard and white polished walls. The last rays of sunlight were reflecting into the room through the big windows making the room shimmer.

The banquet hall was crowded with people, mostly those belonging to New York's rich and famous, and they were all dressed to the teeth, in expensive suits and even more expensive dresses. Most participants were only there for the press, always ready to make a good impression by pretending to care about the less fortunate. Magnus had enough experience hanging in those sorts of circles to be able to play by the rules even though he hated it down to his core. He also had a pretty good knowledge of which ones in the room were actually there for the cause since he'd been a patron for the benefit for quite some time now. 

He dragged Alec down the hall towards the open bar where he hoped he might find Ragnor. His friend had been a benefactor for the charity longer than Magnus had, and he hated crowds even more than Magnus did. 

Magnus scanned the crowd for Ragnor as he continued to thread his way in between the crowd. He nodded in acknowledgment to a couple of people as they made their way through the crowd, he even spotted some people he had to talk to later. 

He cast sideways glances at Alec as they made their way down to the bar area. The man looked completely lost, his eyes wide as he took in the crowd and the room. Magnus knew that the other man disliked crowds, Magnus also knew he shouldn’t have asked Alec to come tonight but he had wanted him there and now it was too late. He pushed down his guilt; it was too late to think about that now anyways. 

At last, he spotted Ragnor, he was standing at the back of the room, near the bar just as he had expected. His green sport coat stood out in a sea of mostly black and gray suits. 

“There you are, old friend,” Magnus said as soon as they were close enough for Ragnor to hear him. 

“I’m in the prime of my life, thank you very much,” Ragnor answered dryly. Magnus rolled his eyes in response.

“Hi, Ragnor,” Alec said, whilst tugging at his tie again. 

“Lightwood” Ragnor answered, his eyes narrowing at Alec’s apparent discomfort. 

“Not really your scene?” He asked.

“That obvious?” Alec said nervously, as he started fidgeting with his cufflinks. 

“Well to be honest, yes. You don’t seem very comfortable,” Ragnor said, never the one to beat around the bush. 

Alec chuckled, some of the tension in his shoulders seemed to ease some at that. “Well that’s because I’m not,” Alec answered.

Magnus felt a second wave of guilt coming on, he was the one that practically forced Alec to come here. 

“I’m sorry if I forced you here. You don’t have to stay here Alexander if you don’t want to. I will manage without you for one evening.” Magnus said, feeling a bit unsure, his eyes staring down at the floor. He didn’t want Alec to go. He was frankly unsure if he would manage without the gorgeous man at his side, but he would damn well try if that was what Alec wanted. 

The last thing he wanted was for Alec to feel uncomfortable, and he especially didn’t want to be the reason for it. And when he asked, he hadn’t realized how much Alec actually hated these sorts of things. 

“Hey,” Alec was standing next to him now, and he used his hand to lift Magnus' head up. 

Looking Magnus straight in the eyes he said, “I want to be here. I’m just not good around this many new people, and I have bad memories of these kinds of events.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “But it doesn't have anything to do with you. And I do love spending time with you, Magnus.” 

Magnus could almost feel his heart thumping out of his chest at Alec’s declaration. He loved spending time with him. 

“Okay?” Alec asked, his thumb rubbing soothingly over Magnus’ hand. 

Magnus nodded, “Okay but only if you're sure?” 

Alec smiled crookedly at him, a beautiful smile that created small butterflies in Magnus' stomach. 

“I’m sure.” 

They stood there in their little bubble looking at each other, Magnus had no idea for how long before Ragnor cleared his throat in an attempt to get their attention. 

Alec startled and his cheeks turned pink as he realized what they were doing. “I—’m going to — to find our seats,” he said and gestured towards the tables. He cast a short glance at Ragnor and then walked off. 

“So?” Ragnor said, raising an eyebrow at Magnus. 

Magnus held up a hand to stop him. “Not a word,” he said. He turned away and went to order drinks for himself and Alec. He knew what Ragnor wanted to talk about, and Magnus needed a drink if he was about to have that conversation. 

Ragnor followed him, he was not about to let Magnus off the hook. “That was some excruciating tension right there.” Ragnor continued. 

Magnus exhaled and turned with a fake smile on his lips… “I’m not sure that I know what you're talking about,” he said evasively. 

“Cut the crap, Magnus. We both know exactly what I’m talking about.” 

“Well I’m not ready to talk about it,” Magnus said whilst looking down at the counter. 

“He is an FBI agent. Your assigned agent no less.” Ragnor pointed out. 

“I know.” 

“He’s here to protect you, as part of his job.” 

“I know.” 

“He could lose his job, if something were to happen between you, or worse he could lose his focus and you could be seriously physically hurt, maybe even killed.” 

“I know. Okay. I know.” Magnus said, sadly. “I know all of this Ragnor. I wasn’t planning on doing anything, it was all just harmless flirting.” 

It was all it had been at first. But Magnus realized it hadn’t been harmless for weeks now. Only he had been too wrapped up in the moment, to see it. 

“Oh, Magnus.” Ragnor patted his shoulder sympathetically. “You have feelings for him.” It wasn’t a question. 

Magnus’ voice shook slightly when he looked up at Ragnor's face, “I — I think you're right.” 

Ragnor eyed him closely before nodding. “Just be careful okay.”

“You're not going to tell me to back off? Or argue about how reckless I’m being?” Magnus asked while taking a large sip from the whiskey glass now standing in front of him. 

Ragnor shook his head. “No Magnus. I know you care for Alec and I know that you would never do something to put any of your friends including Alec in danger for a meaningless affair of some kind. 

Ragnor paused and looked Magnus right in the eyes. “So if you are considering starting something with that boy it must mean you really like him and that you hope or think he does too.” 

Magnus thought back on Alec’s smile, his big soulful eyes, and his kind, and brave heart and looked up at Ragnor again. “I really do.”

Ragnor went quiet for a couple of seconds and then smirked, “I knew it. I knew as soon as I saw that boy that you never stood a chance.” 

He chuckled and cast a glance out over the crowd until they landed on Alec. “He is exactly your type. Tall, dark, handsome. And a challenge, something that clearly attracts you, even though I never understood why.” 

Magnus smiled besotted while gazing out over the room, his eyes landing on Alec. “You are right of course. He is kind of perfect.” 

--—---||-------

They had been there for a couple of hours by now and Alec had finally started to feel more relaxed. The drinks that Magnus had ordered for him had started to have an effect and he felt himself loosen up a bit. There were plenty of security staff, and they seemed to do a good job, which eased some of his initial worries. 

He meant what he had said to Magnus earlier, he wanted to be here with him. He knew that this event was important to Magnus and he wanted to support him and the cause. But he has also been honest when he told Magnus and Ragnor he wasn’t really a people person and that this kind of event was exactly what he had hated growing up. Then there was also the dreadful possibility that his parents were there, and he wasn’t anywhere near ready to deal with them. Especially not this weekend of all weekends. 

The auctioneer was in the middle of auctioning a trip to St. Croix, and people were chatting excitedly about the trip and the five-star hotel with the complimentary spa facility. Alec rolled his eyes, not once had he heard anyone except Magnus, Ragnor, or the auctioneer mention the children or the charity, which was the reason they were all assembled there tonight. 

Magnus patted his knee, clearly sensing his slightly agitated state, “Five more minutes, and then there’s a break. We could go out to get some air out in the courtyard?” He whispered. 

Five more minutes, he could do five more minutes without going crazy or saying something rude. 

-—----||-------

The courtyard was beautifully lit up with thousands of fairy lights hanging along the walls of the building. Alec took a big refreshing breath and closed his eyes. It was so much better than that stuffy room with all those people. 

Magnus hooked his arm with Alec’s and smiled happily as Alec shot him a pleased look. He liked it when Magnus was close, he had grown so used to Magnus’ cuddly side that he wasn’t sure how he would react if Magnus were to stop. They walked slowly around the courtyard, taking it all in and just enjoying each other's presence. 

They chatted a bit about the auction, Magnus was not bidding on anything, instead he opted for donating a large sum of money anonymously and so did Alec, although his sum was considerably smaller. Magnus and Ragnor had also donated some stuff from the set of season one of Shadowworld to be auctioned off later during the evening.  

When there were ten minutes left of the interval, they slowly started to walk back to the table when Magnus suddenly stopped in his tracks. 

What was going on?  

It was the second time that night that Magnus had just stopped. Alec has no idea what was going on with Magnus but something felt off with the actor. He looked back over his shoulder to assess what happened, to find Magnus staring at a woman like he’d seen a ghost. 

His eyes were wide open and his face was void of all color. Alec would say he looked haunted. Magnus quickly composed himself and in a matter of seconds his face was void of all feelings, replaced with a mask of polite uninterest instead. Alec frowned and glanced at the couple in front of them. He is met with the sight of a beautiful woman, arm in arm with a handsome man. Although the guy looked like a deer caught in headlights, the woman had her eyes zeroed in on Magnus, and although Alec could see she was what most would call beautiful, there was something cold about her. He realizes it's her eyes, they look cold and cruel, void of any life in them.  She gives Alec a quick glance before settling her eyes on Magnus once more, a malicious smile forming on her lips. 

Alec instinctively tightened his grip around Magnus.  

“Magnus, honey. It’s been way too long,” The woman said with a honeyed voice, layered with enough ice to give Alec goosebumps. It was something predatory by the way she looked at Magnus like he was prey, she couldn’t wait to devour. 

Alec could see that her presence was making Magnus really uncomfortable. The actor's body language was showing every sign of wanting to run. Alec realized he knew who this was, she was one of their number one suspects. 

“Camille,” Magnus' voice sounded almost toneless all of a sudden. So different from his normal warm, velvety voice. 

“I was hoping to run into you here,” She said. Her eyes gleamed menacingly. 

“I can’t imagine why,” Magnus answered flatly. Looking around to make sure nobody heard him. “We haven’t spoken for almost five years.” 

She sneered a little, before realizing she was surrounded by people and she reined herself in a little. Although she kept talking loud enough for those in close proximity to hear every word she said. “I wanted to see how you were doing, after that awful incident… You know with your pictures online,” she said. She touched his arm in a staged sympathetic gesture. Magnus flinched but didn’t move away, too many people were watching now.  

Alec narrowed his eyes, he had heard enough. He knew enough about Magnus' horrible ex-girlfriend, to know that she hadn’t been a good influence in Magnus’s life. She was also the one they first had suspected of being behind the “hacking” in the first place. She could easily have spread the pictures, but so far they had no proof. 

He made a promise to himself then, that he would call Simon and make him double his efforts in searching for evidence that Camille was guilty. 

She leaned in and whispered loud enough for them both to hear. “They did bring out some lovely memories. Don’t you agree?” Her sharp red nail traveled along his arm. 

Alec wanted to punch her. But he kept himself calm and tightened his grip around Magnus' arm. She was enjoying this far too much. Alec could feel Magnus shudder at Camille's touch, and he took an instinctual step closer to Alec, wanting to get away from her unwelcome touch. 

Magnus smiled icily in return.“I’m fine. In fact, I had a perfectly lovely evening before you turned up so if you excuse me.” He said, trying to sidestep her, but Camille followed suit and stepped in front once more. 

Camille gazed over the two of them connecting the dots together that she until now had ignored. So Alec decided this was the time to make a statement, he took Magnus’ hand in his and kissed it. Everything to show the bitch that she was not allowed to mess with Magnus anymore. 

She sneered, and said with disdain, “how cute. He’s exactly your type Magnus.” She gave Alec a once over. “Too bad it won’t last. It never does with you.”

Alec huffed and tightened his free hand into a fist. 

She smiled a sickly sweet smile at Alec. “I’m Camille,” She said, holding out her hand. “As I’m sure you already know.” She flipped her dark brown hair over her shoulder and winked. 

Ale rolled his eyes, who the fuck did she think she was? He ignored her hand and said with his most deadpan voice. “I’m sorry I’ve never heard of you before. My knowledge only extended to interesting and nice people, like Magnus.” He said, squeezing Magnus' hand. 

Which of course couldn’t be farther from the truth, but who cared about a white lie when Camille looked like someone had just told her she was ugly.

Camille glared at him. “I’m an actress.” She said, her mouth twisted in an unhappy grimace. 

Alec shrugged casually. Like he found the whole thing completely uninteresting. And then bent down to kiss Magnus on the cheek. She stared at them both with her cold eyes before she took a step closer and put a hand on Magnus’ arm. 

“Magnus and I used to date,” she said. Magnus was looking really uncomfortable and he twisted his arm away from her slightly. 

“That was a long time ago, Camille,” Magnus said. 

She leaned in and said in a sultry voice. “But it feels like yesterday. Doesn’t it?”

Magnus paled at that, and she smiled wickedly in response. 

Alec interlocked their fingers and squeezed reassuringly. 

Magnus swallowed, his chest was tightening and it made it hard to breathe. “It is all in the past.” He said. Trying to ignore the anxiety rocketing through him. 

Camille leaned in and said quietly in her honeyed voice. “I will always be with you, Magnus. You can’t forget me. I’m the best you ever got, nobody else could ever love you as I did.” 

He took a shuddering breath, not now, she can’t break me, she doesn’t get to win tonight. 

He steeled himself before looking back at Camille. “I think we are done here. Good night Camille.” Magnus said, brushing past her without looking back. 

His hand was shaking in Alec’s as they made their way back to their table, otherwise, he hoped he looked as unaffected as he wanted to appear. His anxiety clawed at him wanting to break free. He pushed it down, forced himself not to feel, not tonight. 

Alec was worried, for those that didn’t know Magnus he probably looked unaffected but Alec could see the tension around his eyes and lips, how his eyes clouded over when he got lost in some distant memory. He had felt the tremble in Magnus’ hand earlier, he had witnessed the fear.  

Later that evening, all Alec wanted was to go home. He saw the pain in Magnus' eyes as he talked to donors, or when he laughed at something Ragnor said. He introduced people he knew to Alec and charmed them into spending money on the cause. But Alec saw that his heart wasn’t in it anymore. He hadn’t even asked or tried to convince Alec to dance once during the evening. Instead, he had dragged Alec around talking to every boring person in there, convincing people to donate money to the cause. 

They ran into Sebastian and his boyfriend in the hallway. Apparently, his boyfriend was some rich philanthropist or something. Alec had never really liked Sebastian, and his boyfriend wasn’t any better. Alec ignored the uncomfortable feeling settling in his gut, it was bad enough in this setting already. 

Alec was contemplating how to put a stop to the conversation and go home when he saw his parents. He immediately felt his chest tightening and his pulse racing at the thought of being confronted with something he had managed to avoid for 9 years. 

He had managed to avoid them, all his adult life, and he wasn’t about to put an end to that streak. He couldn’t. 

He tried to slow his anxiety down, this was not the place or the time for a panic attack. Magnus needed him tonight, it was his night and it had been hard enough as it was. Not to mention Alec didn’t want anyone here to see him that vulnerable least of all his parents. 

He gently put a hand against Magnus' side to get his attention, Magnus discreetly sent him a look to say “What.”

“I’m sorry, but we really need to get moving, I have an early day tomorrow.” Alec excused himself to the two men and hoped Magnus would follow. It was harder and harder to breathe. 

Magnus looked confused for a moment before playing along and said good night. 

They hurried towards one of the many cabs stationed out front and jumped in. Alec rattled the address and leaned back towards the seat taking in a huge breath of air. 

Magnus looked over at him questioningly. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

“I—I just saw my parents.” He took another huge breath. “I haven’t seen them in nine years. I just couldn’t deal with them tonight.” He rubbed his hand over his forehead. “I’m sorry that I dragged you out of there.” 

Magnus smiled reassuringly. “I understand, you did the right thing. I was getting kind of tired anyways.” 

He was quiet for a minute before asking. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Alec grimaced and shook his head. “Not tonight. Do you want to talk about Camille?” 

Magnus drew in a large breath. He had hoped it would have gone unnoticed how affected he’d been by her presence but of course, Alec noticed. “Not tonight.”

Magnus looked thoughtful and then yawned before putting his head on Alec's shoulder and closing his eyes. “I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me what was going on. Thank you.” 

Alec forced a smile but Magnus wasn’t looking. Why couldn’t Magnus trust him with the same? 

Magnus snuggled in close and murmured, “Wake me up when we’re home.”

Alec couldn’t help but cast a fond look at the man wrapped around him. Alec's chest was still aching but it didn’t feel like it normally did when in connection to anxiety. But he was too tired to try and work out why. All he wanted was to enjoy a quiet ride home with a sleeping Magnus at his side.

Chapter Text

It was a beautiful day outside, not a single cloud in the azure blue sky. The morning sun rose high over the city and even though it was early he still felt the warmth coming from the sun’s rays on top of his skin.

Despite the early hours of the day, the park was already starting to fill up with people. Families enjoying a day out in the sun, or students soaking up the sun before walking off to their first lectures of the day. The sound of laughter and happy chatter filled the air. It was a sound that during any other day would induce happiness in him, but today did nothing more than increase his unease. In fact, he was already regretting not taking the long way around, to reach his destination.

 Alec had rarely felt more out of place, like the Grinch on Christmas day. 

Today was a day filled with anxiety for him, his dark thoughts consumed him in one of the worst ways possible… It was the 1st of September, the day marked as the worst day of Alec’s life since that dreadful day ten years ago. 

He wanted to scream to the people around him to stop laughing, to stop mocking him with their happiness, just for today he needed them to be quiet. He wanted to scream, cry and bury himself under his covers for the day, wishing that this day had never happened. But he knew he couldn’t, his little brother would be ashamed of him for hiding, for not moving on. 

But even though he didn’t scream, cry or hide, he couldn’t fight his bad mood. Alec felt like he was slowly drowning. 

He knew he should have moved on by now, let the wound heal. But how could he move on? He was guilty, he was at fault, so he didn’t deserve to move on. 

He was so caught up in his own mind that he didn’t notice the little boy that ran out right in front of him to catch a frisbee. Neither Alec nor the young boy registered what was about to happen, and they crashed into each other. 

The young boy fell to the ground and landed on his butt. Alec looked down with wide eyes, fearing the boy might be hurt. But he wasn’t hurt and he looked sheepishly at Alec from under his messy bangs.

“Sorry, Mr.” He said. Whilst waving with the frisbee in hand, “I didn’t see you there. I wanted to show my brother I could catch the frisbee and forgot to look where I was going.” 

The boy looked so much like Max, with light brown hair and light blue eyes. So different from his own dark features. He also sported a cheeky grin on an otherwise innocent expression, just like the one Max used to have when he had done something wrong. 

Alec felt his eyes clouding and his voice got stuck in his throat. 

The boy started to look unsure when Alec didn’t say anything like he expected Alec to yell at him.

Alec forced his mouth into something resembling a smile and grunted out a rough, “It’s fine.” Before he bolted out of there. He wanted to turn around and apologize for his hard demeanor but he couldn't. Not today. 

He would rather be rude than let himself be vulnerable in front of strangers. It was already all too much to handle.  

The boy looked after him confused until his own brother called for him.

The church first appeared like a large shadow on the horizon, the sight always made his heart race it was the first reminder of what lay beyond. It was beating faster and faster for every step that he took, each step meaning he was a bit closer to the cemetery. He ignored the unease in his stomach and kept walking. 

The church with its surrounding cemetery looked as peaceful during the day as it looked ill-boding during the night. But for Alec none of that mattered; for him, it held nothing but grief and guilt. 

As he entered the graveyard every step he took became more and more clouded in insecurity and hesitation. He knew his way to the large tombstone by heart. He wished he didn’t! 

The large tombstone was obnoxiously large and ugly nothing like the stone Max himself would have chosen. And every time Alec was here he was reminded that his parents never cared about what any of them wanted, not even Max. For them, it was always more important to flaunt their wealth and status, even when it was the opposite of what their children wanted. 

Alec’s chest constricted painfully as he laid his eyes on the familiar words. 

Beloved son and brother 

Maxwell Lightwood

Born 14 August 1994  - Died 1 September 2003

Ave Atque Vale

He let out a choked sob, “ Max.”  His little brother would have been an adult this year, eighteen years old. Alec was sure he would have grown up to be just as amazing as an adult as he was as a kid. Max should never have had to die in the first place, he was one of those people that would have continued making the world a better place with his presence if he had lived. 

Alec fell down onto the grass on his knees, looking up at the grave with tears in his eyes, his chest constricting painfully. He missed his little brother so much. He could imagine Max in front of him, peering at him over the rim of his glasses, eyes shining with curiosity, always so eager to know everything. Always so full of life. 

He was trying to muster up the courage to talk, like he did every time he was here. He had made a promise to himself nine years ago on the first anniversary of Max’s death to always be honest and talk to Max when he was here. And he had honored that promise, Max had been the only one for a long time to hear all of Alec’s secret. But maybe there was someone else he was ready to open up to, too? 

He looked around, making sure no one was close enough to hear. He didn’t want anyone to listen to what he was about to say, even the most insignificant things he said sometimes, still felt like a private little secret between Max and himself. He was sure Max would have loved it. Then there were his parents, he was always scared that he was going to run into his parents when he was there. But he also knew they prefer visiting after work, which was why he always visited the grave in the mornings. 

He noticed an elderly couple standing about fifty yards away at what looked like a family tomb, but other than that the cemetery appeared empty so he let himself somewhat relax. . 

“Hi, Max.” His voice cracked. “I m—miss you, buddy, so much. I think about you every day.  I could really use your advice right now bud, and your optimistic outlook on things. Everything is a mess and you were always the smartest one of us.” 

He picked at the grass as he was thinking. Max had always loved the smell of grass, he said it smelled like summer. Alec remembered how they used to lay on the lawn on warm summer evenings and look up at the stars. Max, always begged Alec to tell him stories about faraway space adventures. 

“I’ve met someone, he’s a new friend and I really think you would like him.” Alec smiled slightly at the gravestone. “His name is Magnus. He’s funny, witty, and is so full of shit sometimes. But he also has the biggest heart of anyone I ever met and he doesn’t even realize it himself. He actually reminds me a lot of you. I can’t help to think of how much trouble you two could have ended up in together.” He chuckled at first before a tear escaped and then another but Alec quickly brushed them away. 

“I’m supposed to take care of him, Max. Magnus is in danger and he needs me to protect him. B—But I’m failing Max. I don’t know what to do. Someone is trying to hurt him and I can’t seem to figure out who, and  I—I can’t let him be hurt.” Alec choked out a sob. “I’m failing him, j—just like I—I failed you.”  Alec broke down in tears, they were rolling down his cheeks and clouding his eyes until he could barely see. He tried using the sleeve of his arm to dry his face off, but the tears kept on falling. 

“I'm so sorry Max. I’m so sorry I failed you.” 

He could almost imagine Max hugging him, his little brother had always had an uncanny ability to see what Alec and the rest of them needed even though he had been so much younger then them.   

Alec took a ragged breath and then one more, he tried to exhale slowly his chest feeling as if it were on fire. 

He rasped out, “I can’t fail this time Max. I won’t let Magnus get hurt. I just can't. I — He’s just so amazing, He has the most beautiful smile and he has the most generous and kind heart of anyone I ever met. He makes everyone at ease and I just…” Alec swallowed. 

His heart thumped hard under his shirt, his stomach erupted in the same butterflies he had gotten accustomed to when he thought about Magnus. He knew what it meant, but he wasn’t ready to admit it yet. How could he admit something to Max, he wasn’t even ready to admit to himself? He tightened his hands into fists and closed his eyes, his breathing was still a bit ragged, but he managed to calm himself down. 

He had promised to always tell Max everything. 

He hadn’t broken that promise in ten years. 

He was scared. Scared to tell, scared not to tell. He huffed at his own cowardice, he had been in wars, shot at, beaten up, and threatened more times than he could count. Saying a couple of words shouldn't be that hard. 

His hands trembled as he took courage and whispered the words out into the universe, “I like him, Max. I like Magnus more than I should.” His confession lingered in the air, the truth of it aching inside his chest. It was deeper than it should be after such a short time, but it was the irrevocable truth all the same. 

He sat in silence after that, just him and his memories. He needed to let his emotions settle down for a bit after that. He remembered his last therapist telling him that he needed to take the time to sort his feelings out and that, that was okay too. He knew he had a lot to sort out, and today was not the time to work through it all. He also knew there were a lot of complications on the road ahead. But he had needed for Max to know. 

The church bells rang, signaling that it was officially lunchtime. He guessed he had around two hours before his siblings would arrive and then a couple of more before he had to leave so that he could avoid his parents. 

“I saw Mom and Dad yesterday. It was just for a moment but I still freaked out. I haven’t talked to them for almost ten years Max. I almost ruined Magnus' night because of them, because I couldn’t face them.” 

Alec sighed as he remembered Magnus' concerned looks on the way home last night. 

“And he needed me, Max. Magnus needed me to be stable and secure yesterday and I couldn’t.” 

Alec’s index finger was rubbed raw from his nervous habit of rubbing his fingers together when he felt anxious. 

“And then I couldn’t even tell him about them, about me and about you.” Alec's voice cracked. 

Ha dragged his fingers across his face, “I’m a shit brother. I should be able to talk about you. Tell him how proud I was of you, how proud I still am.” 

Max shouldn’t be a secret, his little brother deserved to be remembered and talked about. He knew Max would never judge him for any of it, his little brother had always been so kind. Alec wanted to talk about him, to gush about how great his little brother had been, but even after all this time, the words were still hard to get out. Every time he thought about Max, he felt like he was punched in the gut. 

“I should tell him… Shouldn’t I?”

“Yes, you should,” Izzy’s voice startled Alec out of his reverberation. Alec tensed and looked at his watch. They were earlier than normal. 

“Hi Max,” Izzy said and dropped down next to Alec’s left. 

“Hi, Maxie,” Jace said and then patted Alec on his shoulder before dropping down beside Alec’s right. 

“Have you been standing there long?” Alec asked carefully. 

“Not to fret dear brother, we haven't been eavesdropping on you. We just arrived,” Izzy answered knowingly. 

Alec felt the tension that had been building in his shoulder the past few seconds drain some. He loved all his siblings but some things were for Max’s ears only, at least for now. 

Izzy squeezed his hand, “You should still tell Magnus.” 

Alec hummed, he probably should. He still asked, “Why?” He wanted to know what Izzy knew and thought. His sister was annoyingly perceptive when it came to relationships. 

Izzy eyed him and said, “You know why Alec. And when you are ready to tell us we will be here.” 

She laid her head on his shoulder as they sat and watched the grave.

Jace was silent, he had a hard time being here. Already losing his biological mother and father as a young child, Max's death had left him crushed. Being so abruptly reminded that no one he loved was safe, had left some deep scars on his soul. That’s why he had followed Alec into the ranks of the FBI, he had sworn he would do anything to keep his siblings safe. 

Alec swung his arm around Jace’s back and dragged him closer. With both Izzy and Jace in his arms, he felt like the strong big brother he was supposed to be. 

He knew there was something he needed to tell them, he took a deep breath. “I saw mom and dad yesterday.” 

They both went stiff in an instant, but Izzy's voice was calm when she asked, “did you talk to them?” 

He shooked his head, “no.” He swallowed, his throat felt thick. “They never saw me. I left before they could.” 

Izzy and Jace traded a sideways glance. “You know we are here for you brother,” Izzy said. 

Alec nodded and looked over at Max's grave, “I know,” he said, his voice thick with emotions. 

They sat like that for the rest of the afternoon, they laughed and cried together as they shared stories about Max. They were all missing him so much, but they still had each other and that was enough. They said goodbye just as the church bells chimed, signaling that it was five o’clock and he headed back to the loft. 

Maybe it was time to talk to Magnus after all. 

—---||-----

Since Alec had the day off, he had urged Magnus to invite his friends over so he wasn’t alone. Not that Alec had left him unguarded, he and Luke had coordinated to triple the security around and inside the building as long as Alec was gone.  

Magnus had invited Raphael, Ragnor, Catarina, and Madzie for brunch. They left just under an hour ago, staying for both brunch and a late lunch. It had been a delightful day, Magnus had really missed hanging out with his friends, they had barely had any time together in the last months that wasn’t work-related.

He loved them dearly and Madzie never failed in her attempts to make him smile. But he had still missed Alec. And so had Madzie, she had asked about him a lot, wondering if he would make it home before she had to go home. Magnus had to promise her that Alec would be there the next time she visited to stop Madzie from crying, after Catarina had told her they were going home and he wasn’t there yet. A promise he intended to keep, and to be honest he wanted Alec to be there just as much as Madzie did. 

Magnus had been sprawled on the couch thinking about Alec ever since they left,  Chairman curled up on his chest, the small cat purring happily as Magnus scratched him behind the ear. 

He was curious as to why Alec had asked for a day off, Alec had offered a very vague explanation that it regarded a family matter and it would have been rude and nosy to push any more about it. It was clearly important to Alec but also very personal. He knew that Alec took his duty to protect Magnus seriously and wouldn’t leave unless he needed to. 

At least the small time apart had given him some time to think over the events of yesterday, and he had come to the realization that he was falling in love with Alec. He was scared shitless at the thought of giving his heart away again, after his last horrible relationship with Camille. Which he so brutally had been reminded of yesterday. 

His friends hated Camille and they had spewed out more than a few things not suitable for the ears of young Madzie. Ragnor, in particular, had been angry that he hadn’t noticed their talk, since he apparently had a couple of things he wanted to say to the bitch. 

They encouraged him to tell Alec everything that had happened between him and Camille in the past, they were still worried that she might have something to do with the treats he received. Magnus was scared to tell Alec about the relationship with Camille, the one relationship he had that had crushed him completely. What if Alec deemed him unworthy as a partner after hearing how weak Magnus had been, how utterly stupid. The relationship with Camille had brought him to absolute bottom and he wasn’t proud of it. 

He scratched Chairman under the chin, whispering to his beloved cat, “I need Alec to stay.” Chairman looked up at him with his big cat eyes and blinked, before nudging Magnus on the chin, “yes I know you like him too.”

A short time later they both heard the sound of keys scrambling and then being inserted into the look, which made Chairman jump off his chest and go to greet Alec. His cat was a traitor, loving Alec more than him. 

Alec looked like hell, his eyes were puffy as if he had been crying a lot, his hair was a mess more so than usual, and his attempted smile looked more like a weird grimace. Magnus thought he looked even more beautiful than normal with his normal stoic and composed facade broken down, letting himself be vulnerable for once. Magnus wanted nothing more than to cuddle him in his arms so he stood up to offer the man comfort if he needed it. 

Alec’s smile turned upwards as soon as his eyes settled on Magnus and Magnus could see that it was genuine. It made a warm feeling blossom in his chest that Alec smiled like that because of him. But he wasn’t moving any closer, he was just standing there watching him with this odd look in his eyes like he was trying to decide something. 

Magnus’ stomach fluttered, what was happening? And what had happened to Alec?

Maybe I should offer him some food or something, Magnus thought. He did look like he could use a warm meal and maybe a hot shower. 

“Do you want…” Magnus said.

At the same time as Alec said, “can we t…” 

They looked at each other and Alec let out a small chuckle, “you first?” 

Magnus tilted his head and smiled, “I was just wondering if you wanted something to eat. There is some pasta over from lunch.” 

Alec nodded, “sounds great. I will heat some up. After I’ve eaten, can we talk?” Alec sounded nervous. 

Magnus' smile faltered a little but he held his tone neutral, “of course Alexander.” He swallowed and sat back down again, “I’m here for you when you are ready.” 

—---||-----

Alec rubbed his thumb and index finger together nervously and took a deep breath. He was about to tell Magnus everything that had happened ten years ago. 

“I want to tell you where I was today and why. But I’m not sure I can.” Alec picked anxiously at his cuticles so that some of them started to bleed but he didn’t even notice. His anxiety was already through the roof because of what he was thinking of saying. A story he hadn’t told anyone before. 

Magnus took Alec’s hands in his and stroked his thumbs soothingly over the back of Alec’s hands. “Tell me what you can, and if you at any point want to stop you can Alexander. You don’t owe me anything. I’m here to listen but only if you want me to.” 

Alec nodded, he was well aware that Magnus would never push him. Magnus had always been respectful of Alec’s need for space and privacy, and he had never pushed for more than Alec could handle. Unlike most people that would poke and prod, until they got their own curiosity satisfied.  

“I went to visit my little brother,” Alec said eventually.  

Magnus' eyes widened a bit in surprise at the revelation that Alec had another brother but he kept smiling encouragingly. 

Alec took a shaky breath, “It’s the tenth anniversary of his death today. Max died in a car accident ten years ago today.”  Magnus' smile vanished and instead, he gazed at Alec with so much sadness and understanding. His eyes filled with the same sorrow that only people who had lost someone close to them had. A bottomless, deep pain. 

 “I’m so sorry Alexander.” 

Alec sniffles and wipes a lone tear from his eye.

“I visit his grave every year on the day of the accident. I always go during the morning so that I don’t run into my parents there after work.” Alec’s voice sounded hard at the mention of them but there is also something small and unsure in his tone. 

“I want to tell you everything, Magnus,” He looked Magnus in the eyes. “But I have never told this story to anyone, I—I’m not sure I can,” He let out a deep breath. 

Magnus squeezed his hands reassuringly. 

“I was seventeen when I came out to my parents and my siblings. Although my siblings already seemed to know, even Max who was so young. For my parents, it came as a complete shock and they did not take the news well at all.”

Alec let out an emotionless laugh, “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of my parents before, they do run in the same circles with a lot of the people who were at the benefit the other day. My parents Maryse and Robert Lightwood are very conservative and very rich and they don’t take it well when you step out of line. And me being gay was nothing short of a disaster for them. It wasn’t just a small step out of line but more like a big jump.” Alec shook his head at the memories, “my parents kindly told me that I was expected to marry a girl and to forget about this nonsense of being gay.” 

Alec snorted, “like I hadn’t already tried. All I ever wanted to be as a teenager was to be “normal”— straight. I tried to like girls, I went out with them, kissed them, looked at girls in porn nothing worked.” 

Magnus muttered, “you were always normal.”

Alec looked Magnus in the eyes, “I know that now, but I was fifteen and brought up under bigoted parents. Being gay wasn’t even on the map of possibilities for me growing up. Looking back I’ve realized that my siblings tried to tell me over the years that they knew and were okay with it but I wouldn’t listen to them. I just pretend not to understand what they were talking about.” 

Alec sighed, “when I reached the age of seventeen I was severely depressed, I had considered running away from home many times but I didn’t want to leave my siblings. Then Max said something that made me realize that I had to be true to myself and others.” 

He paused for a moment, letting the memory come back to him. 

“Alec, look at my drawing,” Eight-year-old Max proudly waved the paper in the air. 

Alec chuckled at his brother's enthusiasm, “you have to put it down Max, I can't see anything with you waving it around like that.” 

Max put it down on the table and pointed at a huge pink, purple, and blue flag painted in the middle of the paper. “Miss Thompson was teaching us about different flags today. This is the best flag ever Alec. You want to know why?” Max jumped up and down in his seat. 

Alec swallowed, he recognized the flag, he knew it from the sites he had browsed in the darkness of his room. 

"Why Max?” Alec croaked. 

“Miss Thompson says it means I can love anybody I want, both girls and boys. How cool is that?” Max sounded so happy. 

“Is that what w—what you want Max?” Alec asked, afraid of the answer, afraid for his little brother. 

“Yeah. I mean boys are cool but so are girls.” Max beamed. 

Alec blinked, the memory fading, “that was when I knew I had to say something. I didn’t want Max growing up feeling like something was wrong with him the way I did.”

Magnus' eyes were wet with tears, but he shook his head when Alec tried to wipe them away. He just moved closer to Alec, pressing his knees against Alec’s thigh. 

“A week later I told my parents I was gay. They were furious, they even threatened to throw me out on the streets if I didn’t agree to forget about it. Actually, they probably would have if they weren’t so afraid of what people would have said if anyone found out.” 

“My parents tried everything to stop me from being gay, they set me up with girls, and they even threatened to never let me see my siblings again if I kept being gay. Like it was a choice I had made?” Alec said angrily. 

“I was actually pretty close to giving in, to just go back to when I was pretending to be straight when it all happened. The thought of not seeing Max for nine years if my parents had decided to cut me off as soon as I turned eighteen, was unbearable. At least Jace and Izzy only had a year or two of high school left.” 

Alec choked, it always became hard to breathe when thinking about Max and the accident. 

“And then — then the accident happened. Robert had picked up Max from soccer practice. They were in the car when Dad called me, he had some new girl he wanted to set me up with and we were arguing. He wasn’t paying attention to what was happening and a drunk driver slammed into theirs.” 

Alec sobbed “H—He was upset at me and — and he missed that a driver was coming at him from the wrong lane. M—Max’s side was hit and he died on impact.” 

Alec cried so hard, he could barely gasp out “It’s my fault Max is dead.” 

Alec leaned into Magnus and let himself be embraced. Magnus' scent and the steady beat of his heart calmed him. 

“It’s my fault, Magnus.” 

“Shh, It’s not your fault darling. It was an accident. You are not to blame for other people's actions.”

“If I had just said that I would go out with the girl my dad wanted to set me up with, or not picked up the phone that night,” Alec said, his voice so filled with guilt. 

“Alexander, you are not to blame. No one could have known what the outcome would have been if you hadn’t answered your phone, they could have crashed anyways, and the other driver would still have been there even if the phone call hadn’t happened.” Magnus rubbed his hand up and down Alec’s back. 

“You are not guilty of anything more than being true to yourself Alec.” 

Alec sobbed, his face tucked into Magnus' shirt. 

“He died, my brother died.” 

“I’m so sorry darling.” Magnus held him steadily in his arms, rocking him, and murmured softly in his ear that it wasn’t his fault. 

After some time Alec looked up, his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, and his lip trembled slightly. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Magnus asked. 

“For crying all over you,” Alec looked shamefully down at Magnus’ wet shirt. 

“I don’t care about the shirt Alexander,” He let his hands settle around Alec’s face, “I’m here for you if you need me. You can cry on me anytime.” 

He brushed a tear from Alec’s eyes, “I know I didn’t know Max, but I know how you are and if he was anything like you he wouldn’t want you to feel guilty for finally standing up for yourself.” 

Magnus' eyes were looking at him with nothing but sincerity and love. And Alec felt the knot of guilt ease some. 

Alec glanced down at the shirt Magnus was wearing, it was now he realized it was one of his shirts. 

Alec took a shaky breath, he needed to get the last few sentences out. 

“I turned eighteen barely two weeks later, I stayed so that I could attend the funeral. I would have stayed longer if it wasn’t for Jace and Izzy telling me not to. They both encouraged me to do what made me happy and they didn’t want me to stay with my parents anymore. So after the funeral, I enlisted as soon as I could and left for the military. I haven’t spoken to my parents since. Izzy and Jace are just a year and two younger than me so I knew I could see them again soon even if my parents tried to keep them from me. They both left as soon as Izzy turned eighteen,” Alec’s voice trembled as he told Magnus the last of it.

He had made it, he had told his story. 

He leaned into Magnus, his body shaking from emotional exhaustion. 

“Please hold me?” Alec asked. 

Magnus traced his finger over Alec’s hair. “Always.”

Chapter Text

Alec was an early riser, a habit that no doubt came from the years he had served in the military. He liked being up before the hustle and bustle of the city had reached its peak. The large city was never truly quiet but there were a couple of hours just before sunset when it was at its calmest. 

He hadn’t stuck to his normal routine of running every morning before work since he moved in with Magnus. His position as Magnus’ security made it difficult to leave even for a couple of hours, and truthfully he hadn’t really missed it that much. Part of it being that he felt more relaxed at Magnus’ than he did in his own apartment. Although Magnus’ presence made parts of him feel frustrated, he more often than not made Alec feel safe and at ease. But today was different, yesterday’s talk had made him relive memories he had suppressed for years and he was in desperate need of some alone time. 

He had gone to bed right after their talk yesterday, wrung out by the onslaught of emotions coming over him. Talking about Max had brought up a lot of unresolved feelings and sorting through them all made him exhausted. And even though he had opted for an early night and had fallen asleep almost immediately, it hadn’t been the peaceful sleep he desperately needed. His dreams had been filled with nightmares of the night Max had died and his parent’s hateful, spiteful comments ringing in his head, blaming him for Max’s death. After a couple of hours of restless sleep plagued with nightmares, he’d decided to give up on sleep for the night, and instead, he’d stayed awake in bed with only his thoughts as company. Until it was light enough outside to go running. 

So for the first time in weeks, he had gone out running, desperate to feel his lungs burn under the strain of pressure. He wanted to feel the endorphins pump through his body until he reached the level of tiredness that could only come from a really good training session. Most of all he wanted his mind to just stop screaming at him and blank out into peaceful silence. 

He had scribbled a note to Magnus, letting him know where he was going. He had left it at the kitchen counter by the coffee maker since that would be one of the first places Magnus would go when he woke up. He had then put the earbuds in his ear, the familiar music of the weekend streaming into his ears, and walked out the door. 

The streets of Brooklyn were remarkably quiet in the hour before sunrise. A group of college kids making their way home from a night out, a couple of people that looked like they were going either to or from work and another jogger like himself. 

He made his way to Prospect park, it was one of Alec’s favorite places in Brooklyn. The park bursting with early autumn colors, a blend between green and yellow, with hints of red. All the greenery together with the lake made it a peaceful oasis in the middle of the city. 

He increased the pace, pushing himself until all he could feel and think about was his breathing, his body, and his surroundings. 

He ran until the sun came bursting over the horizon, it painted the sky in colors of pink, red and orange. He stopped and sat down at a lonely bench, taking a moment to soak in the beauty of it all, to breathe in the fresh morning air and hear the wind rustle in the leaves. The world felt so much more comprehensible like this, sitting on a park bench in Prospect Park. 

After sitting there a while just taking it all in, he glanced down at his watch. It was a quarter past six, he needed to be on his way back to the loft. He had duties he needed to take care of. 

Alec stopped for a coffee at Magnus’ favorite coffee shop. The man had a fondness for chai and this small place a couple of blocks from Magnus’ apartment made the best in Brooklyn. At least according to Magnus. Alec indulged in ordering a salted caramel latté for himself and two blueberry muffins. 

Alec barely made it outside the shop when his phone rang. The caller-id identified the caller as Simon. Alec sighed, the nerdy man his sister was so fond of was extremely chatty, even early in the mornings. 

Alec answered, “Lightwood.”

“Hi Alec, it's Simon. The data analyst… At the FBI...”

“I know who you are, Simon. What do you want?” 

“You do? That’s great. Because you never say hello when we meet at the bureau so I assumed you didn’t know who I was. But that’s great that you know and...” 

“Simon, what do you want?” Alec said, interrupting Simon’s rambling. 

Simon cleared his throat nervously. “Right. I wanted to let you know we have finished the analysis of studio 1. The scaffold, it wasn’t an accident.” 

Alec clenched his fist, it was exactly as he feared. 

Simon continued, “someone had deliberately sabotaged the scaffold’s anchoring to the wall. All it needed was a push and it was game over. Unfortunately, none of the site's security cameras are pointed in that direction so we couldn’t make out who pushed it.” 

Alec sighed, that was unfortunate. But of course, that would have been too easy. 

“Fingerprints?” Alec asked. 

“Unfortunately no. The smudges around the anchoring suggest the perpetrator used gloves.” 

That was an annoying setback, but at least with the security tape, they had some lead. 

“Okay, so not the news we wanted. But not unexpected.” And it really wasn’t, coincidences weren’t as common as people thought.  “Send me the security tape.” 

“Sure thing Alec. But why?” Simon said, sounding confused. 

“Even if the camera wasn't pointed at the scaffold. The cameras must have recorded some of the set. And if we can identify all those that were videotaped during the incident then at least we can eliminate them as suspects.” Alec said. 

“Wow. Great thinking Alec. You are really good, no wonder Izzy is so proud of you. She talks about you all the time. Does she ever talk about me? I wanted to ask h…” Simon chattered. 

“Goodbye Simon,” Alec said and hung up the phone. 

He did not get why Izzy liked Simon so much. The guy was kind and obviously good at his job. But he was so annoying, he talked too much. 

Alec walked the two blocks to Magnus’ loft, pondering the conundrum that was Izzy and Simon. Well at least he treated his little sister well, he was practically worshiping the ground she walked on.

—---||------

Magnus looked around the empty studio, it was today he was supposed to have his big scene with Alec. But where was everyone? 

He walked the empty halls looking for someone, anyone really who could tell him what was going on. It was eerie quiet, and the hair on his arms were rising, something wasn’t right. 

He walked to his dressing room, a big bouquet of flowers was left on his desk. He walked up to the flowers and smiled, he hoped they were from Alec. He plucked up the small card attached to one of the stems and read the writing on the envelope. 

TO MAGNUS was spelled in large red letters on the front. 

He opened the letter and there in the same color were the words. “Look up.” 

He looked up confused, there was nothing there. He turned around, thinking he might have missed something. There on the opposite wall stood, “You better run. Or it will be your blood next time.” 

He dropped the card and took a couple of stumbling step back. The letters were all written in blood. 

His stomach turned and he felt like he was going to throw up. 

He ran out of there back toward the stage. He shouted as he ran, “Help me. Alexander. Please, where are you?”  

There was no answer, there wasn’t a single sound except a faint breathing sound coming from somewhere behind him. Instinctively he knew it wasn’t a friend following him. 

“Where is everyone, is someone here? Alec? Izzy? Jace? Are you here?

Still no answer. 

He ran into the studio, his heart racing from adrenaline pumping through his veins. 

He saw a lifeless figure on the floor and ran forward. 

“Ragnor noo, please noo.” 

Ragnor lay dead in front of him, his lifeless eyes staring up at Magnus. He turned away, tears tumbling down his cheeks when he saw another figure a bit further down. 

He ran forward, hoping he could save them. It was Catarina, her dark skin looked so pale as blood pooled around her. 

Magnus screamed as more and more bodies, appeared around him. Faces of all those he loved and cared for. 

He begged it all to stop. Tears streaming down his cheeks, his lungs screaming for air. 

“Please, nooo. Please kill me instead.”

A dark figure appeared behind him, a knife gleaming in its hands. 

“As you wish,” The figure said. Before piercing Magnus’ heart with the sharp blade. 

Magnus screamed in pure terror, as he opened his eyes and found himself safe in his bedroom. His cheeks wet with tears. 

It had all been a dream. 

—----||-------

The video files were already in Alec’s mail when he got back. So he decided there was no point in waiting and he got right to work. Well right after he gave the chai to Magnus, who was still cooped up in bed.

Searching through the videotapes was tedious work. There had been three security cameras on the set in addition to the four cameras that the film crew used for filming the show. Alec had decided to go through them all. He wanted to have some margin so he searched every tape from ten minutes before the incident happened and during.

It was hard in the sense that the set was chaotic at the best of times, but this was the setup of a battleground which meant that people had moved around a lot more than normal. It was made extra hard by the fact that some had costumes that hid their true identity. 

After a couple of hours of searching, he was able to exclude both Lorenzo and Iris from his list of suspects. Since they were both visible during the filming on multiple occasions right before it happened. Sebastian was nowhere to be found, but that didn’t mean he was guilty. And there were also a lot of other people that Alec hadn’t considered suspects but who were absent, Tessa, Elias, Meliorn, and there was also Gretel, Henry, Gabriel and a new guy named Malcolm to name a few. 

He sighed, there were still way too many names to check off. At least two of their main suspects were cleared. It was always something. Clearing names was just as important as identifying them as suspects in the first place. 

He sent the list of the people that he hadn’t been able to see on the video to Jace and Izzy. In addition to them knowing, he asked them to quietly ask around to see if they could figure out where the people on the list had resided during the incident. 

He rubbed his eyes tiredly, the time on his computer told him it was early afternoon. It was a Sunday, which probably meant that Magnus was lounging on the couch watching tv by now. Alec needed to tell him the news. Magnus deserved to know it hadn’t been an accident. He hated being kept in the dark about stuff, even if this would probably scare him even more than he already was. It was their first solid proof that someone was actually trying to physically harm him or even kill him. 

—---||------

Magnus was cooped up under a huge mountain of blankets watching the great British bake off when Alec appeared from his bedroom. It was the first time Magnus had laid his eyes on Alec thart day for more than a few seconds. The agent had rushed in from his run, giving Magnus a cup of delicious chai, and then muttered out an excuse about having to work before locking himself in his bedroom. 

Magnus had been afraid at first, fearing that it was just an excuse and that Alec had regretted telling him about Max. But the frequent coffée runs from Alec’s bedroom to the kitchen were proof enough that he actually worked and that he was not just hidden away in there. And the smiles he gave Magnus every time their eyes met eased Magnus' worry that Alec was avoiding him. 

Alec bent down over the coffée table and took the remote, he turned the tv to soundless. 

“Can we talk? It’s about the case.” Alec said. He fidgeted with his fingers, as he waited for Magnus to answer. Which Magnus had learned was a sign that Alec was nervous. 

Magnus felt the uneasy feeling settle in his stomach as it always did when he thought about the real reason Alec was here. He mostly tried to avoid thinking about the threats and all that other stuff.

“Of course Alexander.” 

Alec took a large breath before diving in. “Simon, our crime scene technician called me this morning,” Alec said. “They discovered that the scaffold had been tampered with.” Alec looked sad as he met Magnus’ stare. He took Magnus' hand in his and squeezed it gently. 

“I’m sorry Magnus the scaffolding falling wasn't an accident.”  

It was like all the air had been sucked out of Magnus’ lungs. Someone had tried to kill him. It wasn’t just an empty treat, someone had actually tried to kill him. Because no one could be stupid enough to believe that he would have survived being crushed under the scaffolding. 

Why, though? Except for his father he couldn’t think of anybody that wanted him dead. And his father had no idea what Magnus had done. How could he? It was only a select few who did and he trusted all of them with his life. If Asmodeus did know, maybe he wanted Magnus dead but otherwise why risk so much to kill him? He had barely escaped Death Row as it was. He knew his father was vicious, but would he really hire someone to kill him? And if not. Who? 

“Magnus?” Alec thread their fingers together. “You are safe here, I promise.” 

Magnus' thoughts are interrupted by Alec’s deep voice and gentle touch. 

“I’m working on identifying all the people who weren’t there that day… We will catch whoever did this Magnus. I promise.” Alec said, his voice full of conviction. 

All he managed was a stiff nod in response. The problem wasn’t that he doubted Alec, he knew that Alec would do anything in his power to solve the case and defend him with his life if necessary. It was the sort of person Alec was, self-sacrificing and noble. Knowing that, is one of the things that scared Magnus the most. He was in no way ready to die, he wanted to live, but he also didn’t want Alec to die. And if it came down to it, he would rather sacrifice his own life than Alec’s. That thought was scarier than any other. And now it seemed Alec had found real proof that someone had actually wanted him dead, it wasn’t just a threat anymore. 

“Magnus look at me,” Alec begged.

Magnus glanced at Alec, his big hazel eyes were filled with concern. He tried to smile, but he knew he failed when he saw a small frown appear between Alec’s eyes. He looked back out the window. The rain was now pouring outside, trickling against the windows and Magnus found that he thought it fitting. Like the rain was crying for him, shedding the tears he couldn’t.  

“Everything is going to be fine,” Alec said, interrupting his dark thoughts. He waited until Magnus turned back towards him before opening up his arms. “Come here,” he said. 

Magnus let himself be enveloped by Alec’s strong body. There wasn’t anything or anyone that had ever made him feel as safe as Alec. He snuggled up between Alec’s legs with his head tucked under Alec’s chin. And just let himself breathe the other man in. The familiar scent calmed him down. 

Alec reached for the remote and turned the sound back on, the final tunes of the great British bake-off playing on the tv. He laid the remote back on the table and put his arms around Magnus. 

Magnus smiled, being in Alec’s arms was a great feeling, and he hummed happily as Alec sniffed the top of his hair. He knew they had so many more things they needed to talk about, but for tonight he just wanted to stay in the safety of Alec’s arms. Tomorrow they could talk about all those things they had yet to bring up. Like his past with Camille and Asmodeus. He also knew they at some point had to talk about their feelings, and what they meant. Nothing had happened between them and yet Magnus couldn’t help to feel that this was the most serious relationship he had ever been in. 

Chapter Text

Magnus woke up at dawn the following morning, his back aching from sleeping on the couch all night. Alec’s hair tickled his chin, the man was sleeping with his head on Magnus’ chest with his arm and leg tightly secured around Magnus like he was afraid that Magnus would walk up and leave. 

Magnus gazed down at Alec’s sleeping form, his heart swelled at the sight of Alec looking so peaceful. This was the third time they had fallen asleep together on the couch, and he had never slept better than he did next to Alec.  He wished he could wake up to this very sight every single morning. 

He knew they had far surpassed every professional boundary with their behavior, it was even far past a simple friendship at this point, but the deeper they got to know each other the harder it was to care about those things.

Alec was snoring softly, wrinkling his nose in the most adorable way before burying it deeper into Magnus’ shirt, which made Magnus smile happily. He was glad that Alec had found enough peace with him to finally rest. He knew Alec hadn’t slept well the last couple of nights, ever since their conversation about Max’s death. He heard Alec talk in his sleep sometimes, crying out for his little brother. 

Magnus conveniently chose to ignore the fact that the reason he knew Alec wasn’t sleeping well was that neither did he, and thus he was awake to hear Alec talk in his sleep. When he did sleep his dreams were usually plagued with nightmares. That was just one more reason why he cherished these moments on the couch, Alec gave him peace, gave him a chance to rest. If he could do the same for Alec, he would gladly sleep on the couch for the rest of his life if that’s what Alec needed. 

Magnus' heart and soul had shattered seeing the guilt pour out from Alec as he repeated that he was to blame for the death of his little brother. Something that couldn’t be further from the truth. Alec was the most selfless man he had ever met, and he wore the weight of the world on his manly shoulders, even when he was being crushed under it. 

Magnus wanted nothing more than to ease Alec’s pain, to make him understand that he was not to blame and that he was allowed to heal from the trauma he had been through. He knew it wasn’t an easy fix, that this was probably something Alec would struggle with for a long time, possibly his whole life but Magnus wanted to be there for him through all of it. Even if the wounds in Alec’s heart and soul would never truly go away, they could still heal, and fade into something less painful. Until the good memories of his brother and their times together trumped the bad ones.  

Alec twitched and muttered something incomprehensible before burying his face deeper into Magnus’ shirt, his hold tightening around Magnus. It was obvious that whatever Alec was dreaming wasn’t anything nice. Magnus stroked his hand soothingly along Alec’s back, in hopes of calming and scare any potentially bad dreams away.  

“You are safe. I’m here. Just relax darling.” Magnus murmured. 

His darling angel ( Oh how he wished that was true ,) relaxed at the sound of Magnus' voice, and it made his stomach flutter. 

Magnus was honored beyond words that Alec had opened up to him, he knew how hard that must have been. And for Alec to manage to put that aside yesterday, to be there for Magnus when he was faced with news of the attempt on his life was nothing short of amazing. The man was truly marvelous, a calm and steady presence in Magnus’ chaotic life. 

Magnus knew that he now more than ever, wanted to open up to Alexander, to share things about his past just as Alec had done with him. He hadn’t wanted to burden Alec with his past after he had already gone through so much in the past couple of days. But he hoped that Alec would see the gesture for what it was, a sign of trust. It wasn’t a competition or a sense of obligation to open up, no, it was much more than that, an attempt at transparency, a chance at love. 

Magnus believed that if he were to have any chance at a relationship with Alec, they had to talk about these things, these wounds that had shaped them into the men they were today. He didn’t want his past to shape him, but in some ways it had, and from that, there was no escape. 

And unlike Alec’s life story which only strengthened Magnus’ respect and love for the man that had endured so much, Magnus' past was nothing short of shameful and ugly. 

To be honest, he was scared, they had so much working against them, past history, current death threats, and Alec’s career. What if Alec decided Magnus wasn’t worth it? His chest tightened uncomfortably, and he forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths. 

Even though Magnus had no doubts as to their mutual attraction toward each other, it didn’t mean Alec wanted to pursue a relationship with him. He had every right to walk away, and although Magnus would be heartbroken if that happened he couldn’t fault Alec if he did. There was a lot on the line for both of them. 

And it’s not like he would be the first person to deem Magnus unworthy, too tarnished, not good enough. Too many people in Magnus’ life had told him he wasn’t worth it. Said that his past was too much for them. And he understood them, he really did. Asmodeus and Camille had both wrecked him in ways that were far beyond most people’s understanding, and they had both left scars on him that would be there forever. Magnus was damaged, he had known it for a long time and soon, Alec would too. 

Magnus took his phone off the coffee table and sent a message to Ragnor that he and Alec would not be coming in today. That he was sick. Ragnor wouldn’t believe him of course, but he would accept it for the excuse that it was, knowing that Magnus would never skip out unless it was important. Magnus also had a feeling that Ragnor knew he was about to tell Alec about his past; he had been rather obvious in his feelings towards the agent lately. And Ragnor was annoyingly perceptive when it came to Magnus, more often than not he knew what Magnus wanted before Magnus himself did. 

He was ready to talk, or at least as ready as he would ever be and he needed this alone time with Alec today to make that happen. All he could hope was that Alec wanted to hear him out, that he was ready to listen. He had no idea how Alec was really feeling after Saturday's emotional discharge. Alec hadn’t said anything else about it except an offhand comment about not sleeping well. 

At least he was sleeping now. 

Magnus put the phone down on the table. He knew Alec would be waking up soon and he wanted just a moment of taking it all in before he did. 

The sunrise looked as beautiful as ever when colors of orange, pink, yellow, and red lit up Magnus' living room. The higher the sun rose in the sky the more sun rays were beaming in through the window and eventually, the sun rays reached the part of the couch where Magnus and Alec lay entwined on the couch. Alec scrunched his nose unhappily when the sunray landed on his face, the light probably irritating his eyes even with them closed. He looked adorable, with his nose all scrunched and him scooching up to hide his face in the juncture of Magnus’ neck. 

“Stop shining on me,” Alec muttered, “damn sun.”

Magnus’ giggled and carded his finger through Alec’s hair. “Not a morning person then, Agent Lightwood?” Magnus teased. 

“Not today,” he said grumpily. He cuddled closer and hummed happily when Magnus continued scratching his head. 

“I’m sorry I slept on you.”

Magnus looked down at Alec’s clinging form, he hadn’t made a single movement towards standing up, “Are you?” Magnus asked a bit teasingly, but also a question he really wanted to be answered. 

“Nope.” 

Magnus smiled, his heart stuttering at the simple declaration. Alec wanted to be there. 

They had something between them, they both knew that it was beyond a simple friendship or the working relationship it had started out as. But neither was ready to identify what it was. Neither was ready to speak out loud about the feelings they both knew were lingering in the air between them. Both were afraid that they were feeling more deeply than the other one did. 

He was out in deep water, without knowing how to swim. He thought he knew what love felt like, but maybe he never did. Because this feeling growing inside of him, wasn’t like anything he had ever felt before. Magnus had never been afraid to take that final step before, but he was now. He was freaking terrified. 

After laying there for a while just soaking in the morning sun, Magnus decided it was time to break the silence, “so how are you feeling today?” 

“Much better now with a good night's sleep,” Alec said.

“We never got a chance to talk about it yesterday. So I’m asking now, do you want to talk about Saturday?” 

Alec shook his head into Magnus’ neck. “No.”

Maybe Alec regretted telling him? Magnus' old feelings of insecurity flared up. 

“I don’t regret telling you. I just need time to process my own thoughts. I have had those memories buried for a long time.” Alec said, finding Magnus' unoccupied hand, twining their fingers together, “I am glad we talked about it.”

Magnus let out an alleviated breath, once again wondering if Alec could read his mind. He gently squeezed Alec’s hand, to show his support. 

“I’m glad you told me, Alexander… I’m here for whatever you need.” 

“I know.” 

They were quiet for a while longer, processing all that has been said for the last twenty-four hours. 

“What time is it? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for today's shoot?” Alec asked, looking around the room for a clock on the wall.  

“I took the day off.”

Alec lifted himself up on one arm so that he could take a good long look into Magnus’s eyes. 

“What do you mean, you’re taking the day off? I didn’t know you could do that.” 

Magnus smirked, “I called in sick. And let’s just say Ragnor didn’t question it.” Alec shot him a disapproving look to which Magnus rolled his eyes. 

“You are such a rule-abider Alexander. There is no harm done, it's just for the day.” 

Magnus booped Alec on the nose with his index finger and grinned when Alec kept up his disapproving stare. He looked so cute when he was angry. 

“You should be thankful, Alexander. This means you get a free sick day too,” Magnus said, winking.  

Alec's mouth twitched, his eyes twinkling.“Is there any special reason why you deemed it unimportant to go to work today?” 

Magnus contemplated if he should tell Alec now. He decided that they should probably eat and take some hours to recuperate before another taxing talk. 

“There is actually. But let’s leave that for the afternoon shall we?” Not leaving any room for Alec to protest. 

“I don’t like being left hanging.” Alec pouted. 

Magnus pushed himself and Alec up from the couch and stood up. 

“What, the great Alexander Lightwood doesn’t like surprises? I could never have guessed,” Magnus teased. 

“That’s not what I meant!”

Magnus snickered, “It’s just for a couple of hours. I thought you would like a little bit of a mystery?” Magnus said, smirking at Alec before strutting off. 

Alec muttered, “I don’t like mysteries.”

Magnus laughed as he could hear Alec from the kitchen. 

“You do know your work consists of solving crimes right? Or have you forgotten?” Magnus teased. 

Alec huffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but most criminals are stupid.” 

Magnus let out a surprised laugh. His smile widened as he turned around to meet Alec’s eyes as he joined him in the kitchen. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said.  

Alec smirked, “I had no doubt you would.” He stepped up and took a bit of the strawberry Magnus had just cut in halves, he popped it into his mouth and smiled at Magnus like he was the best thing in the world. 

—----||------

Alec had been serious when he said he didn’t like secrets. He had been wracking his brain the whole day trying to figure out what Magnus wanted to talk about later. 

Magnus had acted like whatever it was he had planned, wasn’t a big deal. But Alec could see the nervousness hidden in the depths of his eyes. The way he played with his rings over and over like he always did when he was anxious. He smiled and acted all happy and unbothered but Alec had learned how to read him quite well in recent weeks. 

Magnus had made a delicious breakfast because apparently, he had a secret skill in how to make crepés, which he later told Alec was one of three things he could cook. After which Magnus retired to his room to take a power nap and then shower and change. 

He had emerged from his bedroom in time for lunch, for which Alec had made sure to cook something he knew smelled great to lure Magnus out of his bedroom. All through lunch he’d acted perfectly normal, telling funny stories about him and Ragnor, especially about one particularly drunken night when they had ended up in a Korean karaoke bar. 

All the while, he was driving Alec insane by not telling him what the plans for the afternoon were. 

They were currently chilling on the couch watching reruns of Project Runway, it was Magnus’ favorite show and he always commented on the different fabric choices and color schemes and other things that bored Alec to death. 

Alec had no idea what Magnus was talking about half the time; color, prints, and different materials meant nothing to him. He just wanted clothes to be comfortable and simple, no extravagant materials so he had to be afraid of them ripping, and no crazy colors that would make him stand out in a crowd. 

Today Magnus was unusually quiet, barely commenting on anything, not even a particularly hideous leopard print got a snarky comment.  

As the judges announced the winner of the challenge, Magnus took the remote and silenced the tv. 

“I want to tell you something.” 

Alec swallowed nervously, this was it. 

Magnus turned so he looked straight at Alec. “You shared something that was really hard for you the other day. And I’m so happy that you felt you could trust me enough to tell me that,” Magnus told him. 

“Of course, I trust you, Magnus,” Alec replied sincerely. 

Magnus smiled. “And I trust you, Alexander.” 

Alec couldn’t help but smile happily back to Magnus. “I know you do,” he said. 

Things grew quiet, as Alec waited for Magnus to continue. Alec saw the raw pain of what Magnus was about to tell him, reflecting in the man’s eyes. Whatever it was that Magnus wanted to tell him was still haunting him.

“I want to tell you about my past. About Asmodeus and about Camille. I need to tell you…” Magnus paused and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, collecting himself. “But I’m afraid of what you will think of me. if I do tell you.” 

Alec’s chest throbbed painfully at the scared, vulnerable look on Magnus’ face. He never wanted to be the source of Magnus looking like that again and he did his best to reassure him that he wouldn’t judge him. 

“I’m here for you Magnus, you can trust me. And there is no pressure here. If you don’t want me to know about your past I’m fine with that. You don’t owe me an explanation.” 

Magnus shook his head. “No, I want you to know. It’s just, you have no idea what I have done, what they have done,” he said, his voice weak and scared.

Alec did actually know some things, especially about Asmodeus’ criminal history. He knew the criminal wasn’t a good man, and he could guess he hadn’t been a good father. 

Alec squeezed his hands, thinking that he knew what Magnus was afraid of. 

“I would never leave you. You are important to me, I know we started out as strangers but you are my friend Magnus. You're not going to scare me away.” 

Magnus’ eyes watered slightly, “you can’t know that.” 

Alec shook his head fondly at Magnus’s words. “Yes I can,” he answered, before pulling Magnus into his arms. He needed to show he wasn’t running away. “There is nothing you can say that would make me think less of you, I know what’s in your heart.” 

“I know what’s in your heart.”  

Magnus let out a shaky breath. Alec had so much faith in him, a lot more than he deserved. The faith Alec put in him, warmed his way inside his chest. He could only hope that Alec would still feel the same after he told him everything. 

If his own mother left him, how could he expect anyone else not to?

“I was seven years old when I found my mom hanging from the stairwell…” Magnus said. He swallowed, trying to push past the lump forming in his throat. It was hard thinking about his mom, even after all this time. He had never forgotten what she had looked like when he found her. 

“She had been severely depressed for years. Not that I knew that at the time. I could see that she was sad some days and that she was really tired other days, but I had never heard of depression before so at that time I didn’t understand why she had killed herself. I was barely old enough to understand the concept of death. So for many years thereafter, I was convinced that she had killed herself because of me because I wasn’t good enough.”

Magnus wiped away the few tears that rolled down his cheek. 

“It wasn’t until years later that I learned about depression and what it meant, and it wasn’t until I met Luke that he helped me puzzle the pieces together on what had happened. Luke found that she had asked for help multiple times, but as an immigrant with no money it was practically impossible to get help and she was turned down by the hospital when she tried. 

“After I found her, and failed in waking her up, I ran. I ended up on the streets for a couple of weeks, some older kids helped me to steal food from grocery stores and the occasional trash bin to survive. And then the cops found me and brought me to social services.”

Alec’s fingers were rubbing soothingly along Magnus' arm. That and his heavy breathing were the only indicators he was listening. 

“And after they figured out who I was and that my only known parent had died, I was left in foster care. I ended up in a lot of bad foster homes. A lot of foster parents only took you in so that they could collect money from the state and those homes were usually some of the better ones, they weren’t abusing, they just didn’t care. But there were also a couple of foster homes that were bad, really bad.” Magnus shuddered thinking about large hands around his neck.

“I probably ran away ten times between the ages of seven to ten. Then after one particularly bad time, my father suddenly turned up. He had known about me ever since I was born, but he lied to the social worker and said that he had only just found out. He managed to convince the social worker that I should come to live with him, so I did.” 

Magnus twisted his rings over and over, the story brought up a lot of bad memories he had tried to suppress. Fiddling with his rings grounded him as he let the memories flood back. He had tried to suppress so many things about his childhood for so long. 

“I had very little knowledge about my father at that point. My mother had only told me his name and that he had abandoned her when he discovered she was pregnant. But I was ten years old so when Asmodeus told me it had all been a misunderstanding and he had wanted me all along I believed him.” 

Magnus sighed and shook his head in defeat. “I had no idea he would turn out to be a monster.” 

“At first he was kind to me. He had taken me in and given me everything I could ever want or need. It was a whole other world from what I was used to, growing up very poor for the first part of my life. So for the first year or so, I was happy!” 

Alec hummed and pulled him closer, Magnus let his head fall back against Alec's chest. Alec felt so safe, and it eased the knot in his chest to be so close.  

“It wasn’t until I had been there for over a year that I started to notice strange things around the house; weapons hidden in strange places, a huge safe hidden behind a painting in the library. everywhere we went he had people following us, making sure we were safe. But when I asked him about it, he would never tell me from whom. I also found a large sum of cash hidden in the kitchen once, and when I questioned him about it, he hit me. And told me to never snoop around again or he would beat some sense into me.” 

Alec had to bite his lip not to say a few well-chosen words about the criminal. 

“That was the first time that I realized that maybe my father wasn’t the safe and loving parent I thought he was. For the first time, he reminded me of my previous foster parents.” 

Magnus took a moment to pause, remembering what had happened. He remembered the feeling of shock as Asmodeus' hand landed on his cheek. After all, the man had been nothing but nice to him before that. 

“The older I got, the meaner and more abusive he got, and I became really scared of him but he was my only living relative, and my father, so I wanted to make him proud. So when he asked me to help him and said it would make him proud of me again I did. I did anything he asked.” 

Magnus felt sick thinking about the things he had done under the influence of his father.  

“He started to teach me about stealing, about how to pick locks, and a little later on how to fight. But I didn’t want to hurt people, so I pretended to not be very good at fighting to get out of it. Every time I failed he beat me. He said it would make me stronger.” 

Alec’s breath hitched, and he had to once again stop himself from talking. But he didn’t interrupt. 

Magnus could feel Alec stiffen at the declaration that Magnus had been physically abused by his father. And every time he was afraid that Alec would stand up and leave.

“I was good at stealing though, I was young and I knew how to lie really well, and as a kid adults don’t see you as much of a threat, which makes it easier to steal. Asmodeus used that to his advantage.” Magnus paused, he still felt ashamed for what he had done during those years. Logically he knew he’d been a kid, and that no one blamed him but he blamed himself. “I helped him steal a lot of things for almost two years before I tried to put a stop to it.

I was fourteen when I told Asmodeus no for the first time. He became absolutely furious that I tried to oppose him and he got even more violent than before. He quickly learned just how much he could hurt me without me ending up in the hospital, whilst still being enough to scare me into doing his bidding. When I eventually gave in and helped him, he would praise me and give me gifts and say how proud I made him.” 

Alec’s grip tightened around him every time Magnus mentioned Asmodeus had hurt him or treated him badly. Magnus basked in the feeling that Alec wanted him close, even though it was starting to feel a bit hard on his breathing to have Alec pressed so tight around him. He still didn’t want Alec to stop though, it was worth the slight discomfort to feel so safe and protected. 

His silent support meant a lot. He probably understood just how hard this was for Magnus to get out. Alec had, ever since the start of their friendship, shown an uncanny ability to understand what Magnus needed.

“I was extremely confused, I hated him at the same time as I craved his approval and his love. Then when I was fifteen I realized I was bisexual and I met my first boyfriend. It didn’t take long until Asmodeus found out and he told me to never kiss a boy again, that I was disgusting, and an abomination.” 

Magnus' voice wobbled as he continued, “he then locked me in my bedroom for three days without any food or water, but only after giving me the worst beating of my life. It was after that, things really started to change. I realized that no matter what I did he would never really love me, and the only way of making him proud was to become someone I didn’t want to be.” 

Magnus swallowed, his voice was shaking as he continued. “After that moment, he never treated me with anything other than contempt, it was like he realized that I had finally turned against him. I wasn’t allowed to go to school anymore in case I told anyone what was going on, and I seriously thought I was going to die there. But then one day I found myself alone for a couple of hours, one of the guards had forgotten to turn up and I wasn’t looked in on, in my room. I took my chance and snooped around for a bit, I found plenty of evidence of his crimes in Asmodeus’s office, pictures of his victims. And I knew I had to go to the police.” 

He took a deep breath and blinked some tears away, “I was so scared of him and of his goons, but I was even more scared of staying where I was and what they would do to me if I stayed. So I ran. I ran into the nearest police station and right into Luke.” 

Magnus let out a small chuckle, “He took one look at the scrawny boy I was then and apparently saw something worth saving because he took me in.” 

“Of course he did,” Alec murmured and kissed Magnus’ head. 

Magnus closed his eyes and basked in the feeling of Alec’s lips on his head, even if it were more in comfort than anything romantic. He probably hadn’t even realized what he did. 

He had made it, he had told Alec about his childhood and the agent was still there. 

“He introduced me to Ragnor a couple of weeks later, he was a struggling college student at that time, and in his spare time, he tutored less fortunate students in basic school subjects. Something I desperately needed after living with Asmodeus for so long, I hadn’t exactly focused on my school work during those years.“

“He and Luke really saved me.” He smiled thinking about his chosen family. I met Catarina and Raphael during my third year in high school, we were in many of the same classes, and we have been friends ever since.”

Magnus wiped some tears away, it was like a small weight had lifted. He hadn’t told the whole story about his years of living with Asmodeus to anyone except Luke and Ragnor before. Not even Cat or Raphael knew it all, even though they knew the gist of it. 

Magnus quieted and took a moment breathing it all in.

He felt exhausted but he still had a bit of the story left, he hadn’t talked to him about Camille yet, but to be honest, he didn't really want to go through all that right now. He felt emotionally wrought out. His thoughts were interrupted by a worried-looking Alec. 

“You look exhausted Magnus, are you sure you want to keep going? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

Magnus yawned into his hand, at Alec’s mention of how tired he was. Maybe he should listen to his body for once? But what if he would never find the strength to talk about Camille after this? 

“I’m not sure I can do this again.” 

Alec twisted them around so that he could look Magnus in the eyes. “It’s okay if you can’t. I will always be here to listen. But if you can’t, or don’t want to talk about something that happened in the past, that's okay. You are not obligated to share your past with me, Magnus.” 

“I want you to know,” he said, filled with uncertainty over what he should do. 

Alec smiled gently. “Then I will. But it doesn’t have to be tonight.” 

Magnus bit his lip but nodded, “You’re right. Thank you.” 

Alec frowned and tilted his head in question, “What for?” 

“For being you.”

Chapter Text

They finally got their big break in the case a few days later. And it was all thanks to Jace. 

Things had been great between them ever since Magnus had confided in him about Asmodeus. Alec was happy that Magnus trusted him, and Magnus, looked a lot more at ease after their talk, like a huge weight had lifted from his shoulders. 

Alec would have been ecstatic if it weren’t for the fact that the sexual tension between them was slowly killing him. And it had only grown more and more each day since they both had opened up more about their pasts. Even though a lot of things still remained unsaid, they had both made a declaration of sorts by showing their trust in each other. They both knew that it wasn’t a casual thing growing between them. 

Alec was on edge all the time, every little flirtatious smile, longing glance and seductive quip was setting Alec’s body on fire from within. Magnus had always been the walking definition of sin in Alec’s mind, but it was different now that he deep down knew that all of his fantasies could become real. Because he wasn’t stupid and he knew that they had something real brewing, and it scared him shitless. 

The more they got to know each other the harder it was to stay away. Not that he wanted to be anywhere else, in fact, it was the exact opposite he wanted to be with Magnus all the time. Multiple times a day he wondered if he was going crazy or if everyone felt like this. And he was scared, there were so many unknowns still, what would happen to his career if they got together? Getting together with a client was seriously frowned upon. He was even more scared of what would happen to Magnus if they took that step. What if Alec’s concentration slipped at the wrong moment and Magnus was hurt, or what if the bureau assigned him another agent and that agent’ slipped up? Alec would never forgive himself. 

Or what if they took that final step and then Alec got hurt? He was sure that Magnus would blame himself, and he didn’t want Magnus to carry that burden, especially since it couldn’t be further from the truth. And what if Alec died… Too many people had left Magnus down already, he didn’t want to be another person that let Magnus down, to leave him hurting. 

Even with all the reasons why they shouldn’t, it was getting harder and harder to remember any of those arguments when he laid his eyes on Magnus. All he wanted was to walk up and kiss Magnus senseless. 

He had long since let his control slip in the quiet confinements of his bedroom. He should be ashamed, he knows. Magnus was his friend, and you shouldn’t jerk off to mental images of your friends. Especially not in that friend’s apartment with them sleeping a few doors down. But there were only so many cold showers one could take until even that stopped working. 

It all made him even more desperate, to solve the case so that they could finally explore what was between them without any repercussions. 

He bit his lower lip, as he watched Magnus take his shirt off on set. The actor’s muscles rippled and Alec barely suppressed a groan. 

It reminded him of the other morning when Magnus had exercised out on the balcony in only a pair of low-hung yoga pants. The actor had stood out there in the morning sun doing some complex yoga poses, his caramel skin glistening in the most enticing way Alec had ever seen. It had taken all his restraint to walk back into the bedroom to jerk off instead of walking out on the balcony and fucking Magnus against the railing while mapping every inch of his skin with his mouth. 

He needed to get a grip, this was not the time or place to get horny. He should be able to control himself, he wasn’t some horny teenager anymore. So what if his whole body longed for Mangus, he could manage, even with Magnus looking like the god of temptation.  

Fuck. 

Alec’s brain went offline, overloading on hotness as Magnus walked over. Magnus was dripping wet as they had just finished shooting a scene of his character Jonah taking a bath. The only thing covering his body was a speedo and a bathrobe that Magnus for some reason had left half open, showing off most of his magnificent chest and abs. 

“You are practically drooling darling,” Magnus said smugly. A satisfied smirk lingered on his lips. 

“Shut up,” Alec said flustered. His eyes were drawn down to the tantalizing v-shape of Magnus’s abs. “Like you don’t know exactly how hot you are,” Alec murmured, before licking his lips. 

“Aw, darling you make me blush,” Magnus teased. He took a step closer to Alec, and then one more, he was now close enough that Alec could feel the heat coming from Magnus’ body. He had to pinch himself in the thigh not to push his hips up against Mangus. 

“I can’t wait to get those big hands all over me,” Magnus whispered with heat in his voice and a teasing smirk lingering on his lips. 

Alec shuddered, he wanted that so bad. But since they couldn’t, Alec decided they were two who could play that game. 

“There is something else I want all over you even more,” Alec answered, his voice low and seductive as he let his hand run over his own clothed length. Hoping he had been discrete enough that no one but Magnus saw what he had done.

 Magnus’s eyes grew darker as they traced the movement of Alec’s hand. He took a shaky breath and looked up to meet Alec’s gaze with a surprised and horny look at the same time. 

“Alexander,” he said breathlessly. 

Alec leaned in, his breath ghosting over Magnus' ear, “breaks over.” he said. 

Alec took two steps backward, his eyes stuck on Magnus’ their usual golden color almost completely engulfed in black.

 Alec swallowed hard. 

They were in deep water now, and he wanted to drown in it. 

-—---||------

A couple of hours later Alec was more than ready to go home, he was tired and his muscles were sore and aching. He and Jace had held training sessions all afternoon, first with Lorenzo and Malcolm and then with Meliorn and Will. And as the cast got better and better at fighting, the training for Alec got harder and harder, since he had to keep at it all day. 

He took a large gulp from his water bottle whilst he searched his pocket for his keys, but he couldn't find his car keys anywhere. He had two keychains one containing keys for Magnus’s, Alec’s, Izzy’s, and Jace’s flats. And he always kept that one in his right pocket. The other keychain he had contained his car keys, the keys to Magnus’ dressing room and Ragnor’s office, and that one was now missing. 

He rummaged through all his pockets twice but they weren’t anywhere to be found. He frowned as he looked around the room one more time, maybe he’d left them in Magnus' dressing room. He walked off towards the dressing rooms hoping the keys would be in Magnus’s dressing room. He knew he had had them on him when they arrived since the car keys were on the same keychain, and after that, Magnus’s dressing room was the only room he had used them for. He sighed and tried to think of any other location he could have forgotten them at. 

He sighed, maybe he had dropped them somewhere, and in that case, they would most likely be handed to Ragnor or security. 

He took his phone from his pocket and called Jace, to see if he’d seen them anywhere and if he could check Ragnor’s dressing room since he was a lot closer. 

“Hey Bro, what's up?” Jace answered on the second ring.

“Are you still at the studio?” Alec asked. 

“Yeah, I’m still in the training room. What do you need?” 

“I’ve lost my keychain. The one with keys to the set and my car.” Alec sighed, he was still at a loss for how it had happened in the first place. “Could you swing by and check Ragnor’s office? I’m on my way to check Magnus’ dressing room.”

“You Alec Lightwood lost your keys?” Jace asked in mock disbelief. 

“Yeah Yeah, whatever. Can you check or not?” Alec said. 

“Sure bro. On my way.” 

“And Jace, can you please take a second look in the training room before you go? We were there most of the afternoon.”

He could practically hear Jace’s eye roll on the other side of the phone, “I’m not stupid Alec. I checked the training room just now while we talked, I am more than capable of multitasking.”  

“One broken collar bone and a sprained ankle imply otherwise.” Alec reminded. 

“Shut up,” Jace grumbled. “Meet you back at the set in ten?” 

“Sounds good,” Alec answered and hung up the phone. 

He had a weird feeling that something wasn’t right. 

—----||------

All the dressing rooms were located in the left part of the building and since they were still filming, this part of the building was mostly empty of people. 

Alec walked up to Magnus’s dressing room and frowned when he noticed that the door was slightly open. It should have been locked, the only ones that had keys to the room were Alec, Jace, Magnus, and Ragnor. 

He hesitantly pushed down the handle… 

The room was pitch black, “hello is anyone in here?” Alec called out. There was no answer and he didn’t hear anything, but he wasn’t about to take any chances. He held his gun safely in his right hand before flipping the switch with his left. The room lit up and he took a couple of steps inside the small room. It appeared to be empty. There were no keys anywhere and the room looked no different than it had this morning. 

He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion as his practiced eyes swept across the room. So why was the room unlocked? Alec was sure he had locked this room after Magnus was done this morning. Had he locked it? Had someone opened it again? And in that case, was it Magnus or someone else? He had a bad feeling, there was something he was missing. 

He wasn’t becoming any the wiser by standing there, there was nothing for him in there.  Nothing appeared to have been tampered with and nothing was stolen. Nothing of real value was kept in there anyways, not since Alec had taken over Magnus’ security. 

He checked the room one final time before walking out, he left the light on for Magnus before closing the door behind him. 

Alec needed to get a move on if he was to meet Jace outside Ragnor’s office in time. He knew the director wasn’t a fan of his sometimes brash brother and he didn’t want one of Mangus’s friends to dislike him, or his siblings for that matter. 

As he was coming closer to the right side of the building he heard shouting. At first, he thought it was just normal shouting from the stage, it was not uncommon for film shoots to be loud and Ragnor’s office was not far off from the stage. But as he rounded the final corner he realized the shouting wasn’t coming from his right where the set was located but from further down the corridor, where Ragnor’s office was located. 

Jace. 

He sprinted the last bit to Ragnor’s office. Scared that something might have happened to his brother. 

“The screaming voice became clearer as Alec approached. “LET GO OF ME. LET GO, YOU BIG BUFFOON,” the angry voice sounded familiar but he couldn’t quite place it. 

“STAY DOWN,” a much more familiar voice said. Jace sounded angry but he was at least fine. Alec had heard Jace hurt enough times that he knew the pained edge he usually got, and there was nothing of that now, just anger. 

Whatever was happening in that room had started to attract a crowd. The stage crew must have heard the screaming because he could hear them coming closer as they followed the same sound as Alec. He needed to get there first. 

Whatever and whoever Jace had found, Alec couldn’t let it get out of control, he knew how much damage people could do. How a single action could ignite a fire within a crowd that quickly escalated, so he needed to stop them from coming too close. 

He reached the doorway, coming to a screeching halt. 

Ragnor’s office was filled with pictures of Magnus. Based on their blurriness they were clearly screenshots taken from a video but that wasn’t really the important part. The pictures were of Magnus in intimate and exposed positions, most of them clearly sexual in content.

He felt sick as he quickly averted his eyes from the walls, he was not going to violate Magnus’ privacy by looking at any of the pictures. He had too much respect for Magnus to even think about it.

Instead, his eyes landed on the floor, Jace was looking grim as he struggled to hold down the person responsible. 

Elias. 

Jace was sitting on top of Elias, the man’s face pressed against the ground, both his arms held firm against his back. Jace had a nasty bruise on his cheek but seemed otherwise unharmed and Alec quickly realized what had happened. 

He needed to act quickly to defuse the situation, he did not want to know what could happen if the wrong people stumbled upon the unfolding situation.  

He quickly turned and took a step out of the room, closing the door behind him, knowing Jace could take care of himself for a minute. He didn’t want any more people than necessary to see inside. He took a deep breath and forced a polite smile on his face as some of the crew arrived. 

He kindly asked them if they could get Ragnor, Elliot, and Izzy there as soon as possible. 

Gabriel looked a bit hesitant at the door, “what happened? Someone was screaming.” 

“We are handling it,” Alec said, refusing to budge from the door. 

They eyed Alec suspiciously, but nobody seemed too keen to fight him on it so it was quickly turned to a standstill when some refused to leave. Before long Gabriel sighed and went to get Ragnor and the others.

He managed to shoot a quick text to Luke, to bring reinforcements ASAP. This was not something the siblings could handle alone. 

Ragnor, Elliot, and Izzy all arrived at the same time.

Alec quietly murmured directives to Izzy to keep people as far away as possible, as he didn’t want them to see the pictures or hear what he was about to say. He dragged Ragnor and Elliot a couple of steps away from the crowd and told them what they had found. 

There was still a lot he didn’t know, and Jace was the only one who could fill them in. Elliot became white as a sheet as Alec told them what was hanging on the walls of Ragnor’s office, Ragnor on the other hand looked murderous. 

“Was it really him? Was it Elias this whole time?” Ragnor asked, his voice dangerously low.  

“I don’t know but I presume so,” Alec answered. “But as far as I’m aware he hasn’t admitted to anything. At least not anything I’ve heard.”

Ragnor nodded, he glared angrily at the door, feelings of betrayal and deep sorrow fleeting over his face. 

“I have to go in there and help Jace. We need to know if he did this alone. Take care of Magnus, will you? I want to, but I have to…” Alec couldn’t finish. He was so angry at the situation and so sad for Magnus that his voice trembled. 

“Go. I’ll take care of him.” Ragnor said, touching Alec’s arm for just a second before going back to Izzy to help her control the growing crowd.  

Alec walked back into the office, this time fuming with rage. His fists clenched, itching to punch Elias in the face. 

“Luke should be here any minute,” Alec said to Jace. “We need help with this,” he gestured toward the pictures. 

“I always knew there was something off with you two,” Elias said as Alec bent down next to him. 

“Cops,” he spat.  

“Where did you get these pictures, Elias? Alec asked, his voice calm and hard. 

“Why? Do you like them?” Elias laughed. Alec clenched his fist again, his jaw tensing.

 “Oh, you do like them don’t you,” Elias laughed.  

He took a deep breath ignoring the anger flaring up, refusing to let Elias get to him. 

“WHO helped you, Elias?” 

Elias shook his head, a smirk lingering on his lips. “No one helped me.” 

Jace pushed his knee harder into Elias' body making him grunt in pain. “I’m afraid we don’t believe you, Elias. Someone gave them to you. Who was it?” 

“Why? Want some?” 

Jace looked just about ready to punch Elias, and Alec was almost on the verge to let it happen when they heard the sirens out front, Luke and his team were there. 

Alec let out a relieved sigh, he wanted out of here, he wanted to find Magnus and with Luke here he soon could. 

They could interrogate Elias further at the station and hopefully get some clarity on the entire situation. There was no chance that Elias worked alone, he had to have at least one accomplice. To be honest Alec didn’t think he was smart enough to orchestra this whole thing. And there was one other thing that bugged him, MOTIVE. What could possibly be Elias' motive? He and Magnus had no quarrels and no professional rivalry to speak of.   

They heard Luke’s voice outside the door before he knocked. Alec told him to come in. 

Luke walked in together with his new partner Alaric before coming to a stop. He looked with surprised horror at the scene for a couple of seconds before his professional mask slipped back on. 

“Alec, Jace.” he greeted. “Need any help?”

“Luke. Thanks for coming so fast.” Alec said. 

He could hear Alaric asking Jace, “want me to take over?” The answers drowned out as Luke started talking. 

He looked at the walls with a sad frown etched between his eyebrows, “does Magnus know?”

Alec sighed and shook his head, “not yet.” 

“You better go tell him, Alec. We can handle it from here.” Luke said, lowering his eyes at the spot where Elias was now standing handcuffed between Jace and Alaric. They narrowed dangerously as they zoomed in on Elias. 

Suddenly the door burst open and Magnus rushed in with Ragnor in tow.

 “Magnus stop.” Ragnor wheezed. 

Magnus stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the pictures taped to the walls. Slowly all the color drained from his face and his hands started to tremble. He stared confused at the pictures and then at Elias, his eyes darting back and forth like he couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing. 

Alec felt his own heart crack at the sight. Magnus looked so lost and confused like his mind refused to believe what was right in front of him. 

Alec saw the moment that Magnus came to the realization that it was actually happening. That he had been betrayed by someone he trusted. 

Alec wanted to take Magnus in his arms and never let go. Shield him from all the evils of the world. 

“Why?” Magnus asked, his voice was barely louder than a whisper, but there was no mistaking the raw hurt coming from that one word. 

Elias said nothing, a smug expression on his face. Not a single attempt to explain. 

“WHY?” Magnus shouted. Taking a step forward, “I’m your friend. Why would you do this?” He asked, confusion and anger coloring his words. 

“We were never friends, Magnus.” 

He took a couple of steps forward and buried his fist in Elias’ shirt. Alec was afraid that he might start beating him. Not that he didn’t think Elias deserved it, but more that he thought Magnus wouldn’t forgive himself afterward. 

But Magnus just stared at Elias with sad, confused eyes, “why Elias? Please I don’t understand —” Magnus' voice cracked. 

Elias tried to struggle free from Magnus’ grip, “you would never understand. People fall at your feet all the time. I needed to do this.” 

Magnus let Elias go and backed off to the side. Like Elias, words had burnt him. “I can’t… Please take him away.” He said to Luke. 

“Let’s go” Luke nodded toward Alaric and Jace. They took a firm grip around his arms and led him out the door.

Alec could hear the surprised gasps, and murmurs from the people outside.

As soon as the door closed Magnus broke down. He fell down to his knees and buried his face in his hands. His whole body shook as he cried. Alec rushed forward and crouched down next to him. 

He didn’t even have time to ask if Magnus was okay with Alec touching him before the man fell into his arms. Alec clasped his arms around Magnus’ back and held him close. Magnus cried into his shirt, saying over and over in broken sobs, “Why. I don’t understand why. Am I so easy to hate?” 

Alec rubbed soothing over his back, trying to calm Magnus down enough to get him to breathe properly. 

“I think you are the easiest person in the world to love. I can’t see how anybody could hate you.” 

Luke and Ragnor had sneaked out at some point. And it was just Alec and Magnus left. 

Alec guessed that Luke had gone out to tell the criminal scene technicians not to go in yet. Alec knew they had to let them in sometime soon, but not until Magnus was ready. Magnus' well-being was always his first priority. 

“I’m unlovable,” Magnus murmured. Breaking Alec’s heart yet again. 

“You’re not Magnus. You have so many people that love you, that care about you.” 

Magnus just shook his head into Alec’s shirt. 

Alec was really worried, Magnus breathing only seemed to get worse. He pushed Magnus up from his chest and held him up by his shoulders. “Magnus, you have to calm down your breathing.” 

Magnus' eyes were glazed over but Alec could see that his pupils tried to focus. 

“Magnus, you are worthy of love, and I promise you that I will do anything within my power to show you that but right now I need you to follow my voice okay. Breathe in through your nose and out with your mouth.” Alec repeated the same over and over. Until Magnus managed to take some shaky breaths. 

“Good Magnus. You are doing so well.” Alec brushed some tears from Magnus’ cheek. 

“Keep going, Magnus. I’m so proud of you, you are doing so great.” Alec said and hugged Magnus once more. He breathed better now, so Alec felt it was no danger to let him cuddle closer again. 

Alec had no idea for how long they had been sitting on the floor when Luke knocked on the door. 

“Alec it’s me,” Luke said before he opened up the door fully. 

“You can come in,” Alec said. 

“I'm sorry Magnus. But the techs need to come in here now.” 

“Okay,” Magnus’ hoarse voice was barely loud enough to hear muffled against Alec’s shirt. 

“I’ll give you a couple of minutes,” Luke said and vanished. 

Magnus looked up at Alec, his makeup was smeared all over his face and Alec’s shirt. His eyes were red and puffy from all the crying but he was still the most beautiful man Alec had ever seen. Alec brushed his thumbs under Magnus’ eyes to clear off some of the makeup. 

Magnus let out a hoarse laugh, his voice still sounding a bit shaky, “I probably look like a mess.” 

“I think you are beautiful,” Alec said, utterly sincere.

“But you might want to use Ragnor’s bathroom before we go. I know you would never forgive me otherwise.” Alec said, giving Magnus a crooked smile. 

Hoping that some light banter was what Magnus needed now. 

Magnus put his hand on Alec’s cheek in a tender gesture. “Thank you, Alexander.”

Magnus stood on shaky legs, Alec holding a hand out behind Magnus’ back just in case. But the actor took a calming breath and walked off to the bathroom.

Alec took the moment to text Jace for updates. 

Jace texted back, we are processing him right now. Luke has requested to hold the first interview in an hour.

Alec answered, okay I’ll be there . 

Magnus walked out of the bathroom, his face clear of any makeup except a new layer of eyeliner. His eyes were still a bit puffy but it wasn’t really something you noticed if you weren’t looking. 

He smiled at Alec as he noticed his concerned expression. “I’m fine Alexander.” 

Luke knocked again. 

“Come in,” Magnus answered. Luke peered in through the gap behind the door. 

“Magnus are you...”

Magnus interrupted him before he could finish, “I’m good Luke.”

He looked over at Magnus and nodded. He opened up the door for his colleagues. 

Izzy and Simon were standing on the other side talking in low voices. But Izzy looked up when she saw Magnus and Alec coming out. 

“Magnus.” She walked up and hugged him. She whispered something in Magnus' ear before she let go and took a step towards Alec. 

“Are you going home with Magnus?” 

He glanced over at Magnus who was talking with Raphael and Ragnor. Raphael must have gotten the news from Ragnor at some point. 

“Actually I was hoping you would take him?” He said in a low voice. 

Izzy frowned. 

“I need to be at the station, Izzy. We need answers and I know I can get them. I owe Magnus that much. He needs to know, and so do we.” 

Izzy made a protesting sound, “you know Magnus would much rather have you with him.” 

She was right of course. But he needed to do this. He needed to put an end to all this.

Izzy must have seen the determination on his face because she shook her head and sighed. “If you’re sure, brother?”

“I have to do this.” 

“Okay then. I will stay with Magnus and I’m sure Ragnor and Raphael are going with us.” She glanced over at the trio. Raphael and Ragnor stood protectively on either side of Magnus as they talked. She was glad he had such good friends. 

“You’ll have to tell Magnus though,” Izzy said, winking teasingly at Alec. 

Alec gave her the finger in return. 

“Magnus, can we talk?” Alec asked a bit nervously. He didn’t want Magnus to feel abandoned, but he needed to be at the precinct. It was the best way to protect Magnus and put an end to this nightmare. 

Magnus looked at him hesitantly but nodded. He led Alec away a bit from the crowd before asking, “Alexander what is it?” 

Alec took Magnus’ hand “I need to go to the precinct. I have to be there when they question Elias.”

“I know,” Magnus said softly. 

“You do?” Alec can’t help but show his surprise. 

Magnus intertwined their fingers, making Alec’s heart thump like crazy. “I know the kind of man you are, Alec. I know you want to fix this.” He smiled, “it’s okay darling. I understand.”

Alec looked in awe at Magnus. He really was incredible. Alec’s never met anyone with such a good understanding of who he was as a person before.

“Go do your job agent,” Magnus said and leans up to kiss his cheek. He lets Alec’s hand go and takes a step back. 

“Magnus I —” he falters as Magnus holds up a finger in front of his lips. “Not now,” Magnus replies softly. 

Magnus takes another step back “soon”. And then he turns around and walks back towards Ragnor and Raphael. 

Luke has already left when Alec, Magnus, Izzy, Ragnor, and Rapahel walk out of the studio. Simon had stayed to help Luke’s forensics team. Now to think of it Alec wasn’t sure why Simon had been there at all. 

Alec walked off towards Magnus' car, which was also the car Alec used to drive them in. Magnus had told him the first week of Alec living with him that he didn’t like sitting in Alec’s big FBI vehicle because it made him feel like a criminal. While the others would take Izzy’s car home to Magnus’ loft. Alec was glad that Magnus had so many people looking after him. He knows that Magnus will be safe at home while he’s not there.  

He smiled as he watched Magnus laugh at something that Izzy said, it eases something in his heart to hear the actor laugh. He knew Magnus was in pain and would be for a long time, but they are all going to be there for him. 

Alec opened the car, just as he remembered that he still had Magnus' phone on him. 

Taking a couple of steps back from the car, turning towards Magnus to remind him of the phone. 

“Magnus, your phone…” It’s the last thing Alec says before the car explodes into a huge inferno and Alec is catapulted backward by the strong shockwave from the explosion. 

And then everything goes black.

Chapter Text

Jace rubbed his eyes tiredly and looked at the time, it was 18.45. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours for two days. Which was evident in the coffee mugs and takeout containers scattered all over Luke’s office. He had been cooped up here for the last few days, trying to be useful, to help. He would do whatever he could to help Alec. 

Alec … Jace choked. 

It was hard thinking about his brother right now. Every time his thoughts strayed to his brother he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly. 

He felt guilty, he felt angry, he felt sad, but none of those emotions would help Alec. What Alec needed was for him to solve this damn thing, so that was what he was going to do.

It had all happened two days ago.

After Jace found Elias hanging up naked pictures of Magnus, he brought Elias to Luke's precinct to be processed. Alec had stayed behind, so he could be there for Magnus, and they had agreed to schedule the interview a couple of hours later so Alec could be present. 

He, Luke, and Alec had quickly agreed on interviewing Elias at the precinct instead of the FBI. Hoping they could keep their real identities hidden from the cast for a little while longer. 

The interview had been scheduled for seven pm and at ten past seven Alec still hadn’t arrived. It was very unlike him, Alec was never late. Maybe it was something with Magnus holding him up. Jace knew that if anyone was able to make Alec forget the time it was Magnus. 

But when it reached twenty past seven and he still wasn’t there Jace and Luke started to worry. They had tried calling him but it went straight to voicemail. Then they tried Magnus and Izzy’s phones and they too went straight to voicemail. At that point Jace started to become really worried, his brother was usually annoyingly punctual and he always answered his phone for Jace and Izzy. And now Izzy wasn’t answering either. Something was wrong. 

At seven-thirty Luke decided they should start the interview without him and that Alec could join when he arrived. Everything was recorded anyways so he wasn’t really missing anything important. And to be honest they were kind of desperate to get some information from Elias who up until now had been annoyingly tight-lipped.

Jace felt more and more uneasy about his siblings' lack of response but he had responsibilities and without any proof that something had happened there was no way he could justify leaving the precinct to search for them. 

So he settled on the other side of the glass, listening in on Luke’s interview, his job was to observe for any minor detail in Elias' phrasing or body language that could be of importance. 

Luke had just started the interview when Jace’s phone finally lit up. Izzy’s name flashed on the screen.  

“Izzy, why haven’t you or Alec been answering your phones?” Jace asked as he answered the call, not able to keep his worry and hint of annoyance from his voice. He couldn’t believe his brother and sister had left him hanging without answering like that. In their job, a missing phone call could be the difference between life and death. 

“J—Jace” Izzy sobbed. “Ale — Alec’s i— i..in the hospital.” She sounded so wrecked that Jace grew cold with fear. Izzy was stronger than any of them. He’d only seen her cry twice in his life, if she cried now… it must be serious. 

“Is h—he alive?” Jace stuttered out. Izzy just cried in response and Jace didn’t know what to do but to scream, “IZ, Iz is Alec… Is he alive?” 

“He’s in surgery.” She sobbed. 

Okay so still alive then. 

For now. 

“What happened Izzy?” Jace asked. He could not fathom what could have happened after he left that ended with Alec in the hospital. He started to get his stuff together. He needed to get to the hospital right now. 

His hands shook badly, he could barely get his jacket on properly. From anger or fear was hard to know. Or maybe it was the shock, Jace had no idea.  

“The car — the car exploded.” 

“Exploded?” 

“He was taking Magnus’ car to the precinct and it exploded before Alec could get in.”

Jace froze. A car bomb? But how? 

If only Alec had gone with him or Luke instead. He took a shaky breath. No, he couldn’t think like that now. His brother needed him. He would have to be strong. 

He looked into the interrogation room, Elias looked way too smug as Luke questioned him about the pictures. What if he planted the bomb? Jace felt his blood boil, he clicked Izzy’s call and stormed out of his current hideout and past the guard into the interrogation room. 

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ALEC?” Jace raged. 

Luke looked at Jace with utter confusion as he stormed up to Elias with fire in his eyes. 

“What are you talking about?” Elias said, looking at Jace. “I haven’t done anything to him.”

Jace dragged Elias up from the chair and slammed him against the wall. “TALK NOW!! OR I WILL FORCE YOU.” Jace said his voice murderous. 

“I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING TO ALEC I PROMISE,” Elias shouted, his eyes wide in shock and fear. 

Jace pushed his arm against Elias' throat and growled, “Liar.” 

Luke sprung up and took hold of Jace’s arm, “Let him go Jace.”

But Jace just shrugged the bigger man off, he was too angry to care that Luke technically was his boss right now. 

Elias trembled at Jace’s violent outburst. “It was all against Magnus I promise. Camille wanted revenge, she blamed Magnus for her failing career and wanted him to pay.” 

Jace dropped Elias and walked hysterically back and forth in the room while dragging his hand through his hair. 

“Camille asked you to put a car bomb under Magnus’s car?” Jace said. 

“WHAT?” Luke said. 

But neither Elias nor Jace put any attention to him. 

Elias looked at Jace with wide eyes, shaking his head forcefully. “No, of course not. I would never. Camille asked me to spread the videos and pictures of Magnus in an attempt to hurt his career. But that’s all.” Elias' voice trembled slightly when he continued. 

“Look. I love Camille but I would never try to kill someone. Not that she has ever asked me to.” He sat down, put his arms on the table, and looked pleadingly up at Luke. “Please you have to believe me.” 

“Get Camille,” Jace said coldly, before storming out.

He hadn’t time for this. He needed to get to Alec. For all, he knew his brother could have died while he was still here talking to a lowlife criminal like Elias. 

Luke managed to catch up and caught hold of Jace’s arm. 

“Jace, wait up,” Luke said. 

“I can’t… I have to —.” 

“Jace STOP. You broke at least a dozen rules and more than one law just now. The least you can do is to tell me what happened in there?”

“Magnus' car exploded, and Alec was hurt. I don’t know anything else… Please, I have to go.” Jace pleaded. He was shaking and his eyes were all watery. 

Luke was quiet for a couple of seconds, processing what Jace had just told him. 

“Come on. I’ll drive” Luke said. 

—----||------

Jace and Luke rushed into the waiting room of the E.R. Izzy, Ragnor, Raphael, Simon, Tessa, Jem, Will, and Maia were all sitting together next to the sliding doors that marked the surgery hallways. 

Izzy, who had been sitting next to Simon with her head leaning on his shoulder, saw them coming and she jumped up from her seat and rushed forward into Jace’s arms. 

“Jace.” she sobbed. He held her tightly and just swayed a little back and forth right where they were standing.

Luke looked out over all the people assembled there. Some of them had soot and debris stuck on their clothes and hair, Izzy and Ragnor had traces of blood on their clothes but they all looked okay physically. 

“Where is Magnus?” Luke asked worriedly when he couldn’t see him anywhere. Jace hadn’t said anything about Magnus also being hurt. 

Ragnor gave him a sad look and pointed towards the recovery wing. “Catarina had to take him away to calm him down. He had a panic attack so bad he almost passed out so she gave him some sedatives.”

Luke took a deep breath and screwed his eyes shut. Magnus wasn’t injured. But If Alec didn’t make it out of this he feared it would break Magnus. The boy had been through so much already. 

“I guess it was all too much.” Raphael rasped, his eyes looking a little wet. He was sounding more emotional than Luke had ever heard him before. 

“Magnus has always been strong, and so is Alec,” Ragnor soothed. 

Raphael nodded somberly “I know… But I fear —.” 

Ragnor stopped him, “Let’s not go there, my friend.”

Raphael didn’t say anything in response he just glued his eyes back onto the door containing the recovery wing.

Luke sat down next to them and waited. 

Catarina and what Luke guessed was Alec’s doctor finally came out from the surgery wing four hours later. Catarina had tried to give them updates twice before but it had just contained a short, “he’s still alive, and he is still in surgery.” This time Luke expected some real news. 

“Are you Mr. Lightwood's family?” the doctor asked, sweeping his eyes over the big group. 

Izzy and Jace stood up. Tears glistened on their cheeks, Jace holding his sister in a tight grip as if he was afraid she was going to collapse any second. Or maybe Luke thought, he was holding himself up.  

“Alec has three broken ribs, a punctured lung, a ruptured spleen, a slight crack in his right leg, and a serious concussion. We aren’t able to rule out that he hasn’t suffered any permanent head injuries yet. We have to wait until he wakes up to be sure.”

Izzy sobbed and put her hand in front of her mouth, tears leaking from her eyes.  

“He’s going to live?” Jace asked, his voice cracking. 

The doctor smiled, “As long as there aren’t any major complications with his head injury. There is a good chance of full recovery.”

Jace’s shoulders slumped in relief. He wasn’t about to lose another brother. 

The doctor told them he would check on Alec in a couple of hours and walked off. Catarina looked over all of them before her eyes landed on Jace and Izzy. 

“Alec has been taken up to recovery. He’s in a medically induced coma at the moment. And he will be at least until morning. You two.” She said and pointed at Izzy and Jace. “Are welcome to sit with him.”

They nodded and took their stuff to follow Catarina to the right room. But she stopped them again right before the sliding doors that led to the recovery wing.  

“I know he’s not family but I let Magnus in to see Alec. He wasn’t coping very well and to stop further panic attacks I felt like I had no choice. But I understand if you'd rather I made him leave again. Alec is your family so I will of course do what you want.”

Catarina looked a bit uncomfortable. She knew she had broken the rules big time but she wasn't about to let her best friend suffer more than he already had. 

Jace and Izzy both shook their heads. “Alec would want Magnus to be there,” Izzy said. 

Catarina let out a relieved breath and smiled at them, “Good. I hoped you would say that.” 

Catarina opened the door to room 407 and let them in. 

Izzy let out a loud gasp. 

Alec was white as a sheet, at least what was visible of him under all the different tubes and wires he was hooked up to. He had a large black bruise over his left eye, and a large breathing tube to help him breathe. There were tubes connected to his arm to administer pain relief and some going under the blankets probably inserted into his stomach to give him nutrition. 

He was also connected to a heart monitor, and although all the electrodes made Alec look even sicker, it was kind of nice to see the monitor show Alec's steady heartbeat. 

“He looks so small,” Izzy said. 

Jace nodded. His brother looked nothing like their normally big, tall stoic older brother. But he was alive and that was all that was important at the moment. 

Magnus was sitting in a chair at Alec's right-hand side, his head was safely tucked against Alec's thigh and his hand was holding Alec’s in a tight grasp. He was sound asleep. 

At least the sedative seemed to be working, Izzy thought, as she took the extra blanket hanging over a chair and draped it over Magnus’ shoulders. 

Jace and Izzy sat down at the two chairs on the left side. It was going to be a long night. 

-—---||------

BOOM

The large explosion created a shock wave large enough to push Magnus down to the ground. He took a couple of stumbling steps backward before landing on his butt. 

His eyes not once straying from Alec. 

Alec’s tall body was flying like a rag doll across the parking lot. Magnus looked on with horror as Alec landed over fifteen yards from where he stood just seconds ago. 

“ALEC,” he screamed. “ALEXANDER. NO.” 

He jumped up and ran towards Alexander. The man wasn’t moving. 

He crouched down next to Alec. “Alexander, please wake up.” 

Alexander wasn’t breathing. 

Izzy sprinted forward. And put her fingers against Alec’s throat at the same time as she was leaning onto Alec’s chest to listen. 

“His heart isn’t beating.” Her voice cracked, but somehow she still managed to keep her calm enough to start CPR. 

“Magnus move...” She said. 

He was frozen in shock, so Raphael had to forcibly move him away so that Isabelle could perform heart compressions. 

Magnus was staring at Alec’s face. Hoping his big eyes would open. But instead, he looked dead. 

“Please, Alec. Please come back.” He said, his voice as low as a whisper. Tears streamed down his cheeks without him even realizing it. 

“Give him back to me. Please, please don’t let him die.” He repeated it again and again. To whom he didn’t know maybe some made-up deity or the universe itself. It didn’t really matter as long as Alec got to live. 

“Ragnor he’s not breathing,” Izzy's voice cut through his hazy mind. 

NO, NOT ALEC. NOOOOO. 

Magnus woke up with a hard jerk. His heart was pounding inside his chest, his eyes and cheeks wet with tears. He dried them off best he could as he took a look around. The white walls and strange noises made him feel disoriented for a minute before he glanced down at the bed and remembered what had happened. 

ALEC. 

Images of what happened flashed before his eyes, Magnus’ car exploding, Alec flying in the air, Alec’s heart stopping before his eyes. 

And blood, so much blood. 

Magnus inhaled sharply, panic and pain rising inside his chest. His hand shot out in front of him, searching for anything to steady him, and there was Alec.

Alec’s warm hand felt the same as it always did, and the feeling of it managed to calm Magnus down. Alec was here, he was alive. 

Magnus stared down at Alec’s sleeping form, even with a severely bruised eye and a cracked lip the agent still looked completely relaxed, like nothing in the world bothered him. Magnus brushed some strands of hair from Alec’s forehead with a shaky hand before settling back into his chair. He wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. Alec hadn’t died. 

Magnus stroked his thumb gently over the back of Alec’s hand, he desperately needed the reminder that the man was there, and although he wasn’t well, at least he was alive. 

It was all his fault. But none of that mattered right now, first, he needed to make sure Alec would be alright.

-—---//------

His darling Alexander was still rooted in deep sleep. Magnus tried not to be worried about the fact that the doctors had gotten Alec off medically induced coma two days ago, and he was still sleeping. Catarina had told him multiple times that it was completely normal. That Alec’s body had been through something traumatic and sleep was the best way for the body to heal more quickly. That they in fact should be glad that Alec was helping his body to recover more quickly like this. But he desperately wanted Alec to wake up, if just for a moment, just to see that Alec was okay. He was sure that one look into those beautiful hazel eyes would be enough to know if they would be alright. 

He also wanted to tell Alec how sorry he was. How it was all his fault. That he never wanted Alec to get hurt because of him. 

That he hated himself for it. That he simultaneously wanted Alec to stay with him as much as he wanted Alec to run away from him. That he was desperate for the agent to protect himself, as much as he wanted Alec to forgive him and promise to never leave. 

He was afraid he would never see Alec’s beautiful smile once more, or get a chance to tell him how much Magnus adored the way Alec furrowed his brows when he was confused or displeased about something or how Magnus wanted to drown in the beauty of his eyes and kiss his lips. 

That he would never get the chance to tell the man that had stormed into his life that he was falling more and more each day. 

Magnus sighed. He was selfish. How could he possibly justify telling Alec all those things when Alec had nearly died because of him? 

Alec twitched, his face twisted into an unpleasant grimace as if he was having a nightmare. And then he murmured incoherently, but there was no question that it was an unhappy sound. After a couple of minutes, his eyebrows started knitting together in a painful frown and then he started to shake his head anxiously. 

Magnus brought Alec’s hand to his lips and kissed it gently whilst he continued to brush his fingers gently over Alec’s hand and forearm. 

“It’s just a dream angel, I’m here.” Magnus soothed. 

Alec whimpered and a few tears escaped from his closed eyes. 

The lump in Magnus' throat grew as his angel was crying. He wanted to jump into Alec's dreams and chase away whatever monster was in there far, far away. But he couldn’t. All he could do for Alec was sit here and try to provide some sort of comfort with his presence. Something he didn’t even know that Alec wanted. Maybe he would prefer Jace or Izzy sitting here, especially after what had happened.  

He used his unoccupied hand to wipe Alec’s tears away, the skin under the man's eyes was purple in tone, and under one of them there were still hints of yellow from the nasty bruise he’d had there, so he brushed Alec’s cheeks as gently as he could. 

“You are safe now Alexander…” He kissed Alec’s hand again and held it against his cheek. “We are all here and we are not going to let anything happen to you.” 

Alec settled, his face grew still again and the only indication that he was still alive was the small movements of his chest rising and falling. 

—----||------

He had probably stared at Alec for a couple of hours when a faint knock startled Magnus out of his own thoughts. 

He looked up to see Izzy’s back as she was closing the door gently behind her, before turning his eyes back on Alec.  

“How is he?”

“Still sleeping,” Magnus answered. His voice was raspy, due to lack of sleep and hydration. 

Izzy watched him with perceptive eyes, “You need to go home, Magnus. Get some real sleep and take care of yourself.”

Magnus shook his head. His hand tightened around Alec’s. 

“He’s not going to be alone, Magnus, I will be here and so will Jace. And I promise that I will call you if anything happens.” 

Magnus met Izzy’s eyes. She could see so much sorrow in them but also strength and determination. 

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Magnus, Alec wouldn’t want you —”

“Stop.” 

Izzy opened her mouth to protest. 

“Izzy, please stop.” Magnus' voice sounded as if it was seconds from breaking. So she swallowed down her protest and waited for him to continue. 

“Four different nurses and two doctors have already tried to convince me to go home. I’m not leaving. You’ll have to drag me out of here in handcuffs.”

Izzy looked at him with what Magnus would almost describe as fondness, but also with exasperation. The latter looked so much like her brother’s. 

“You know I could do that,” Izzy said with a hint of something teasing in her voice. 

His shoulders sagged and his voice came out almost like a whisper, “I know I’m not family. But.. I —” he looked pained. “Please don’t make me leave. I need to be here… I lo — I mean he means so much to me.” 

“Izzy sighed and sat down in the chair next to his, “I know… I’m not going to force you to leave. Alec wouldn’t want that. He wants you here. But he would also be furious if I didn’t remind you to take care of yourself.” 

Magnus let out a surprised laugh and shook his head, “I should take care of him. He’s in here because of me.” 

She squeezed his arm reassuringly, “You already do take care of him. And he’s in here because of Camille, not you.” 

They both sat quietly and stared at Alec for a couple of minutes before Izzy pushed her chair back and stood up. 

“Give me your key,” she said and held out her hand. 

Magnus was confused, what did Izzy need his keys for? Ragnor had already taken Chairman Meow home with him. Magnus' confusion must have been obvious since Izzy sniggered at him.

“If you're not going to go home, the least I can do is bring you some new clothes here. I know Catarina dug up some clothes belonging to the hospital for you but I think it’s time you got some of your own.” 

She smiled and wiggled her fingers, “Keys please.” 

He felt a wave of gratitude towards Izzy. She was a fantastic woman and he saw so much of Alec in her. He took the keys from his pocket and put them in her outreached hand. 

“Great,” she grinned. “I’m going to go raid "the" Magnus Bane’s closet. How lucky am I?” She winked and sauntered out. 

Magnus let out his second surprised laugh that day. 

—----||------

“Jace, come on, wake up.

“JACE. Wake up!”

He was pulled out from his deep slumber by Luke leaning over him, a triumphant smile on his face. 

“We got her.”

Jace blinked and tried to find his footing after being so brutally pulled from his sleep. His back and neck hurt from falling asleep on top of his desk, and the lighting was a little too bright for his liking. 

He sat up, cracking his neck to each side as he tried to comprehend what Luke just said. 

“Got who?”

“We got Camille!” 

“Why didn’t you say so,” Jace flew up from his chair, past Luke, and out the door. “Where is she?”

“Jace, hold up, we can’t just go in there. She’s asked for a lawyer and we have to wait for them to arrive.” 

Jace turned on his heel and gave Luke a withering glare, “This is my brother’s life we're talking about here. She tried to kill him.”

“We don’t know that she’s guilty. And as a federal agent, you know how important it is that we do this right, Jace. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment.”

“Whatever,” he snapped and walked past Luke back toward the exit. He felt helpless and frustrated, so he couldn’t be there right now. 

“Call me when it’s time.” 

—----||------

It had now been four days since Alec’s surgery and he still hadn’t woken up. Izzy sighed and pushed her hair out of her face as she made her way through the winding halls of the hospital. Waiting was hard, but she knew in her heart that Alec was going to be fine. The doctor said his lung was healing nicely and the swelling in his brain had gone down significantly. But it was still hard, waiting for him to wake up, to not hear his voice and see him roll his eyes at them like he used to. 

She had been so scared when the car exploded, not for her own safety as much as her brother's, ever since Max, she was scared to death to lose another brother. It was the type of crippling, heart-wrenching fear that she knew would never go away. And it wasn’t made better by the fact they had all chosen dangerous careers. And now this. 

She couldn’t think about it though, she had to be strong for Alec. And for Magnus. 

The actor had clearly captured her big brother’s heart and even though they were too stupid to actually do something about it, she considered Magnus family now. Anyone that cared for her brother that deeply was welcomed into her heart and home. 

The man was a complete wreck, he barely ate or slept, and he hadn’t left Alec’s side for more than an hour tops for four days, only to pee and shower.

She stopped outside room 407 and pushed the door open. 

Magnus was sitting on the edge of Alec’s bed, his right hand clasped with Alec’s hand, his left brushing some strand of Alec’s hair off his forehead. A familiar gesture at this point, something she had noticed Magnus doing a lot.   

It would all have looked incredibly romantic if it hadn’t been for Alec’s black and bruised body, the small tubes hanging down from Alec’s body connecting to two different IV bags, and the heart monitor's steady beep. 

Now it was a less romantic sight and more a heart-wrenching one. 

Magnus hadn’t looked up or made any inkling to acknowledge her so Izzy had no idea if he had noticed her or not. When she took a quiet step into the room and closed the door behind her. 

“Angel please wake up.” Magnus pleaded. 

He brushed his finger down Alec's cheek. 

“I need you to open those beautiful eyes, Alexander. The world has been deprived of them long enough.” 

Izzy felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She was clearly intruding on a very private moment. But she wasn’t sorry. She felt grateful. It gave her hope to see Magnus so clearly caring for her brother after all that had happened in Alec’s life. He deserved a great love story and Magnus could be it. 

Magnus leaned in and kissed Alec’s cheek. It was gentle and soft. 

His voice was barely a whisper, but it still carried across the room.

“You have to wake up agent, because I have things I need to say.” He paused. “I—I know it’s selfish to want anything… Your life would be safer without me in it but I can’t lose you.” 

He sighed and looked down at their joint hands. 

Izzy's heart ached at the sight and she turned to leave them alone again. This wasn’t meant for her ears. 

“What am I doing? You are better off without me. I don’t deserve you,” Magnus mumbled. 

“I’m not better off.” The raspy voice startled both Izzy and Magnus. 

Izzy stared wide-eyed over her shoulder, there laying in bed was her big brother awake with his eyes firmly on Magnus.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t Camille,” Jace said with a pained expression. 

Alec glanced back and forth between him and Izzy, waiting for one of them to tell him they were joking. His stomach twisted uncomfortably as he realized they were actually serious. 

“Who then?” 

Izzy and Jace shared an awkward look between them, “We don’t know. She’s definitely guilty of the photos being spread and she’s going to prison for it, but she didn’t plant the bomb. She was caught on camera multiple times in LA the same day as the explosion so she couldn’t have,” Izzy said. 

Alec closed his eyes for a second, trying to take it all in. There was another culprit out there, a much more dangerous and violent one as it seemed. And whoever it was, had planted a bomb under Magnus’ car nearly killing him, and that person was still out there. 

“We are going to get them, Alec.”

Alec swallowed, trying to force the knot in his chest to ease up. Magnus was still in danger and there was nothing he could do, he was still crippled, and as long as he couldn’t fight Magnus would be even more in danger than before. He couldn’t protect anyone if he couldn’t even protect himself. He wasn’t even capable of walking out of the hospital by himself.  

“What now?” 

A plan they needed a plan. 

“We have analysts working on the bomb, trying to connect it to any crime organization out there. And we have canvassed all the cameras in the area, but so far nothing. It seems that the security tape belonging to the studio might have been tampered with, but we are not sure. Simon is working on it.” 

 It basically meant they had nothing. One less suspect sure, but that meant nothing when they suddenly had to consider dozens more. 

“That’s it? We have nothing?”

“We are also checking with stores in the area to see if anyone has sold the kind of timing device needed to set off the bomb recently. But we are in New York so there are a lot of places and —.” Alec held out a hand to stop Jace from finishing.  

“Please stop. All I hear is that we are no nearer to finding out who did this now than we were before the bomb went off. And I just can’t deal with that right now.”

“At least we now know that the pictures had nothing to do with the threats,” Izzy said, trying to lighten up the mood. 

Alec nodded, fighting to find the strength to sound anything more than miserable, “yeah your right.” 

He just feared that by the time they found out who was behind it, it would all be too late. Because whoever was behind the bomb, had proved they meant every word written in those treats and would stop at nothing to bring Magnus down. 

—----||-------

“Welcome home Alexander.” 

Alec was startled out of his reverie as Magnus opened the door to his loft and pushed the wheelchair in. Alec was confined to the damn thing for four more days, the doctor had made it clear there was to be no unnecessary walking until then. That meant he was technically on bed rest for four more days. Alec had never felt more pitiful in his life. The only thing making the thought of it even remotely bearable was Magnus. The actor had insisted that Alec should stay at the loft during his recovery claiming that he still needed his guardian angel with him to feel safe. Alec had rolled his eyes at that one, he was no better guardian than a fly at the moment. But other than two half-hearted attempts of protesting he had given in quite quickly. Not particularly eager to be away from Magnus any more than he had to. 

Home. 

It stirred something inside Alec’s gut, something pleasant and unnerving at the same time. 

“What do you want to do first? Sleep, eat, watch a movie, take a bath? Your choice,” Magnus said, wheeling Alec into the living room. 

The actor looked nervous, he couldn’t stop fiddling with his earring, and his eyes swept over the familiar space as he waited for Alec to answer. Alec also noticed that Magnus’ lips looked redder than normal as if he had bitten on them repeatedly, and his hair was more disheveled than usual, loose strands hanging down his forehead. As always Alec thought he looked beautiful. All Alec wanted to do was kiss him, but after their talk at the hospital, he was worried that Magnus wasn’t ready. 

“It’s my fault, Alec, they wanted me dead not you!” Magnus said, looking away from him. 

“It’s my job to protect you Magnus, and even if it wasn’t I would gladly take a bullet for you if it meant keeping you safe,” Alec said, trying to reach for Magnus’ hand. 

Magnus looked pained as he stood up, walking away from the bed where Alec was laying. 

“I’m not worth it Alec.”

“You are to me,” Alec said, honestly. 

“You can’t mean that,” Magnus said incredulously. 

“But I do.”

Magnus shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “I don’t want you to.”

Alec held out a hand, sending a pleading look for Magnus to come closer. “Please.”

Magnus chewed his lip hesitantly before making his way over to Alec again, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Careful not to meet Alec’s eyes. 

Alec took hold of Magnus’ hand and said with as much sincerity as he could muster, “I mean every word, Magnus. I mean it even if you don’t want me to. You mean so much to me. I lo—.”

Magnus' shoulders shook as he exhaled slowly and interrupted Alec in an unsteady voice, “I—I was so afraid you would die right there in my arms… I can’t—t lose you, Alexander.” 

Alec dragged Magnus to him, holding him in his arms, “You won’t.” 

He didn’t want their first kiss to be haunted by recent events and he knew Magnus’ head needed a little time to come to terms with what his heart already knew. They both deserved as much. 

“How about eating while watching a movie?” He said after some pondering. 

Magnus finally smiled, his eyes settling on Alec, “You have the best ideas darling.” 

------||------

“Masterchef?” Magnus asked, handing Alec a plate with home-cooked pasta, one of the few dishes Magnus could cook quite well. Before settling on the couch next to Alec. 

“Sure,” Alec said. Humming in delight as he took the first bite of pasta. 

Magnus almost dropped the remote at the satisfied sounds coming from Alec. His thoughts immediately strayed to what other activities they could do that would make Alec sound like that. Magnus mouthing over Alec’s chest, leaving a trail of love marks over his glorious chest, or maybe even Alec’s mouth around his cock… 

“Great,” he croaked out.

Chastising himself for thinking about sex when Alec was injured, and in no position for such activities. Not to mention that they were friends, nothing more, (yet.)

He took his plate and leaned back into the couch, savoring his first bite of a home-cooked meal in weeks. 

Alec was a talker when it came to any food competition show, he heckled the contestants, criticizing their choices of recipes and their lacking knowledge of basic ingredients and dishes. It was frankly hilarious to witness the otherwise reserved man come to life as they watched Gordon Ramsey brutally slay yet another contestant’s dish before sending them back home. 

“That looked disgusting, who in their right mind would put mustard on pizza?” Alec grimaced as he put his plate down on the table.

Magnus chuckled, “I don’t know darling. Maybe it’s better than it sounds.”

Alec eyed him doubtfully, “I highly doubt that. If it were, Gordon wouldn’t have sent him out on his ass.” 

He yawned and leaned in with his head on Magnus’ shoulder, “one more?” He asked. 

Magnus took a cushion and put it on his lap. “One more,” he agreed. Why don’t you lie down? I have a perfectly good spot for your pretty little head right here, he said patting the cushion.

Alec nodded and slid down, putting his head in Magnus’ lap. He yawned again and his eyes fluttered tiredly. 

“One more, Magnus.” 

Magnus chuckled softly, “Of course,” he said, starting another episode. 

Chairman Meow jumped up and laid down on Alec’s injured leg, purring contentedly as Magnus eyed him disapprovingly. The traitor was clearly loving Alec more than Magnus. He started toying with Alec’s black locks, carding his fingers through thick silky strands. Soon enough Alec’s delightful little snores filled the room. 

------||------

He was flying. 

No, wait, not flying, falling… He was falling.

He tried to scream but his lungs hurt and he couldn’t… And then there was the ground. 

He hit the ground hard, his whole body convulsing from the pain of slamming into the asphalt, and then it all went black. He couldn’t really see anymore, he couldn’t move. He was barely conscious, all he could hear was loud voices and screaming, and then sirens, loud blaring sirens. 

Magnus was screaming, pleading, he heard his name ALEXANDER, but he couldn’t respond. His barely conscious mind wanted to tell Magnus he was there, even though he barely was. And then something stung his arm and he fell into a deep sleep.

Alec jerked up, his nightmare waking him rather suddenly. The forceful movement pulled on his stitches and he groaned painfully. Fuck. That had hurt more than he expected.

“Alexander, are you okay?” 

Magnus. 

He must have fallen asleep on Magnus’ lap. He turned his head and saw Magnus watching him with a worried frown. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He shifted so that he could sit up properly. It was a big mistake and he groaned painfully at the throbbing pain coming from his left side. 

“You don’t seem fine, darling. Please let me help you,” Magnus said, taking a gentle hold of Alec to maneuver him into a seating position. ‘

“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you. That can’t have been comfortable.” Alec said, eyeing the way Magnus was sitting. Whilst also ignoring his own increasing pain. He should really have thought that one through. 

Magnus smiled easily, “more than you might think.” 

Alec was about to tell Magnus to go get some real sleep when a sharp knock on the door interrupted him. He raised his eyebrow in question as Magnus just shrugged and went to open the door. 

It was not even nine in the morning, so a bit early for guests still. He just hoped that it wasn’t bad news, they both deserved to rest, especially Magnus. 

“Izzy, Jace? What are you doing here,” Magnus asked surprised. 

Alec leaned forward to see his siblings pushing past Magnus into the apartment with two big baskets in their arms.

“Good, we didn’t wake you,” Izzy said as she put down one of the baskets at the dining room table. It looked as if it was filled to the brink of capacity, wrapped up neatly in a shining blue bow. 

“This one is from the office, and that one is from the tv crew,” Izzy said grinning as she pointed out each basket. “They are for you, Alec.” 

For him? Why?

Izzy snickered at Alec’s surprised expression and plopped down next to Alec, “They wanted to wish you a speedy recovery.”

Alec looked astonished at the gift baskets, “I don’t deserve them, it’s way too much.”

Magnus plopped down on his other side, “It’s not about deserving darling, they care about you.” 

Alec shook his head, “But still, I think —.” 

Jace rummaged through the content, “Just take it, bro,” plucking up a nice scotch from one of the baskets, “Hey, there’s alcohol in here.” 

Alec swept his eyes over the grinning faces and sighed, “Fine, take it.” 

“Great, let’s open it,” Jace said a devious smirk spreading over his face.

“It’s nine in the morning, Jace,” Alec said, shooting Jace a disapproving look.  

“So?” 

Magnus looked amused between the two brothers. “We haven’t eaten breakfast yet,” he said, jumping up, “If we make it brunch instead, a little drink wouldn’t hurt, would it?” Magnus said, looking at Alec with puppy dog eyes. 

“Please Alec, you need to relax a bit,” Izzy said. 

“I have barely moved in two weeks. How much more relaxed can I get?” Alec said. 

His eyes meet Magnus’s pleading ones. His resolve started to crumble like he could resist that adorable pout Magnus had going on. 

“Fine. But I can’t drink, painkillers,” he said, giving in. 

Izzy and Jace whooped and sprinted off to the kitchen with both baskets in hand. He had no doubt they could find enough food to feed an army among their content. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Alexander? I know I asked, but if you’re not okay with this, I have no problem stopping them,” Magnus said. 

Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand, “It’s fine. I know why you are all doing this. And anyhow I’m on bed rest so you’re the one that has to take care of their drunk asses later. And let me tell you Jace can be a handful,” Alec said with glee. Laughing as Magnus sent him a withering glare. 

They spent the day in the company of his brother and sister, dragging out the brunch into dinner before they both left late that evening, leaving everyone except Alec pleasantly buzzed. 

Jace said goodbye to Magnus before leaning into Alec whispering in his ear, “The sexual tension between you two is disgusting, please do something about it before you both explode from horniness.” 

Alec sputtered, turning bright red, “What? There’s no ten… Shut up.” 

Jace wiggled his eyebrows, smirking, as he backed out from the hall, into the stairwell. 

“Do something, Alec.” 

Alec gave him the finger and slammed the door in his brother’s face, Jace’s laugh coming all way through the door. 

“What was that about?” Magnus said, looking curious at Alec’s flustered face. 

“Nothing. Just Jace being an ass.” 

Chapter Text

“Magnus, are you alright?” Catarina studied him with the sharp eyes of a medical professional as well as the eyes of a best friend. Not that she needed those sharp eyes to notice the dark lines under his eyes, the slump in his shoulders, and the ashen tone of his skin. 

“I haven’t got a lot of sleep lately,” he said. Not offering any more information. He was sure she could figure it out. 

He leaned over the railing as he watched the cars go by on the streets below. It was something so soothing, watching life go by, not knowing what the small shapes down below felt or thought at that exact moment. To not be burdened by their problems and at the same time see life blossom and continue right beneath him. 

“Nightmares?” 

Magnus hummed in response. He’d had a hard time sleeping ever since the break-in happened in LA, but it had gotten a lot worse lately. He kept having the same recurring nightmares, seeing Alec without a heartbeat, Elias’ scornful face smiling, Camille telling him he was worthless, and so on. He sometimes went up and sat down outside Alec’s bedroom door, just to hear him breathe through the tiny crack that Alec always left open. If Alec had known he would probably have offered to sleep on the floor in Magnus’ bedroom or something selfless like that. So Magnus had never told him. 

“Maybe you should talk to someone?” 

Magnus grimaced and shook his head. “I have too many skeletons in my closet, Cat. Even the most professional therapists would have difficulty keeping it all to themselves. There isn’t a newspaper in the country that wouldn’t pay handsomely for that. I can’t take that risk.” 

Catarina leaned in and put her head on his shoulder, a comforting gesture they had developed when they first met, as they both had bonded over being foster children.

“I have contacts, I’m sure we could find someone we could trust,” Catarina said. Forever the same caring friend that Magnus adored so much. But she had no idea what Magnus had to endure, what the price of fame could be, she could never truly know. 

“It’s a good thought my dear, but I can’t.” 

“Fine. But you only have to ask if you change your mind. I know we could find someone.” she said in a soft voice. Making sure Magnus knew that she wasn’t pushing, simply offering. 

Magnus looked away from the street and offered his arm to her instead, “Let’s go inside. We can’t let Ragnor and Raphael be alone for too long, who knows what they might find?” He said, kissing the top of her head before dragging her back inside. 

He had invited them all for some afternoon tea whilst Alec was at the bureau for the afternoon, something about Imogen wanting to see him. And even though he hated the idea of being away from Alec right now, the timing was kind of perfect since there was something he needed to discuss with his friends. 

As he walked inside he saw Ragnor standing by his liquor cabinet. “Ragnor you sneaky bastard, take your hands away from my finest scotch,” Magnus said, glaring at the older man’s back.

Ragnor chuckled, turning around with a glass already in his hand, “You are too late my friend.” 

Magnus huffed and rolled his eyes before walking over and doing exactly the same thing himself. The amber liquid burned pleasantly in his throat, his frayed nerves settling a bit. 

“Why are we here Bane?” Raphael asked, sitting on the armchair as if it was his own personal throne. He had his eyebrow raised but still managed to look rather bored as he waited for Magnus to answer.  

“What do you mean Santiago? We are having tea,” Magnus said deadpan. 

Catarina pushed him gently down on the couch and went to fill all their tea cups before settling down in between him and Ragnor. Ragnor sighed contentedly as he took a little sip of the English tea. Both Catarina and Magnus smiled, they knew Ragnor would never admit it but he cherished these small moments when they indulged him in all things British.  

“I have exactly one hour before I need to go to work and we all know you have something you need to get out. So talk,” she said, looking expectantly at Magnus. There was no room for discussion. 

Magnus sighed and looked away from them as he tried to find the courage to say it out loud. Ignoring the small tremors in his hands. He wasn’t going to let her win. 

“I need to talk to her,” he finally said.  

“Who?” Raphael asked. Looking as confused as Catarina at Magnus’ statement. 

“Camille.” Ragnor’s voice sounded hard and cold as he spat out her name. His face twisted into a grimace as if he had just uttered a curse. 

“Camille,” Magnus confirmed. 

Catarina put her cup down on the table before smacking Magnus gently on the back of his head. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? She tried to ruin you. In fact, as I remembered she almost succeeded.” She breathed heavily and put her head in her hands trying to calm down.

He had known Cat would be upset on his behalf but it was both heartwarming and heart-wrenching to see how angry she truly was. It came from a place out of love, she had been there to pick up the pieces after their breakup. So she knew exactly how broken he had been back then. 

“I am well aware of that Cat,” Magnus said in a tired voice.

“Why Magnus?” Ragnor asked. 

Magnus fiddled with his rings as he pondered how to best describe what had bugged him so much in the last couple of days. He had so many questions he wanted to be answered, and even though he was quite sure Camille wouldn’t answer them, he still wanted to try. Magnus was angry and sad over how she had treated him, both now and in the past, but more than anything, he had come to the realization that he needed closure. This was his one chance to get that, he didn’t want to live with the regret of not taking it. He needed to show himself that she didn’t hold any power over him anymore. 

“I need closure. And I think that to get that I need to see her. I have thought about it a lot and I’m going tomorrow. Luke has already made the arrangements.” 

Ragnor shook his head as he stood up and walked over to the liquor cabinet again, taking some more of Magnus' valuable scotch. 

“So why tell us beforehand?” Raphael said eventually, “If you already made up your mind?” 

Magnus looked down at his M and B rings, the first two rings he ever bought, his signature. 

“I guess… I… You are my closest friends, I guess I hoped for your support.” 

“You wanted us to yell at you and give you a way out, you mean?” Ragnor said. 

Magnus swallowed and tugged nervously on his earlobe. Maybe Ragnor had a point. Maybe he had hoped for them to tell him it was a bad idea, there was no denying  he was scared to death to sit in the same room as the woman who had ripped his heart out. 

“Maybe,” he conceded, his shoulder slumped. “I’m scared. But even so, I still think I should go.” 

Catarina caught his eye, “We are always going to support you, Magnus. Even when we think you make the dumbest decisions because that’s what friends do. But I’m not going to give you a way out. This has to be your decision.” 

“I think it’s a stupid decision. But if you think it will make you feel better then do it. Don’t sit here wallowing in self-pity because you are scared,” Raphael said. 

“What about Alec?” Ragnor said. 

“ What about Alec?” Magnus asked frowning. 

“Well first off, he’s no less your friend than we are. Secondly, he’s the one from the FBI and she’s the one with potential information. Third, he’s practically your boyfriend, so doesn’t he deserve to know you want to go see your psycho ex?” Ragnor asked. 

Magnus sighed, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

Raphael rolled his eyes, “Give it a rest Magnus. We all know where you two are headed. You've been drooling all over each other, and it’s honestly disgusting.” 

Magnus looked pained before burying his face into his hands, groaning. “What if he doesn’t get it?” 

“It’s Alec we are talking about. He’s like a literal angel when it comes to you. I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Cat said, snickering. 

Ragnor eyed Magnus as the actor’s face twisted into a defeated grimace, and then he started laughing, “I think you just don’t want the man you like to meet your awful ex. You're nervous he’s going to be scared off?” 

“Shut up,” Magnus grumbled. “So what if am? Alexander is the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and Camille is the devil. What will he think of me then?”

Cat put her arm around Magnus’ back, squeezing him tight. “Magnus, think about it. Alec is an FBI agent, he’s already well aware of who she is and what she’s done. And he’s met her before.” 

“Oh shit I forgot about that, That’s even worse,” Magnus said. 

“How is it worse?” Catarina asked. 

“It just is.” 

Raphael leaned in to snatch the last blueberry scone from the table, Magnus’ favorite. “You are such a drama queen,” he said. 

“Oh shut up Raphie.” 

-----||----- 

Magnus rubbed his palms over his pants, increasingly nervous about it, the longer it took for Alec to come home. After his talk with his friends earlier that day, he’d decided to tell Alec all about Camille. They had been right, Alexander should know about his disastrous relationship with Camille, and why it was important for him to get answers. 

He wasn’t particularly fond of thinking about the past, preferring to live in the present. He had tried for a long time to forget all that had happened, but recent events had made that impossible. And with his past resurfacing, he’d come to the realization that he had to stop living in fear, he needed to confront his past and his future head-on. Camille had answers, and he had an opportunity to get them from her. 

“Hi.”

Magnus almost jumped out of his own skin at that, he had been so stuck in his own head that he missed the sound of the door closing. He glanced up directly into Alec’s sweet smile, a glorious sight that made his heart stutter. Alec’s eyes crinkled in the corner as their eyes met. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Alec said gently. 

Magnus waved it off, “I was just lost in my own thoughts. No harm done. How were things at the bureau?” 

Alec had barely plopped down on the other end of the couch before Chairman came strutting out from Magnus’ bedroom right up onto Alec’s lap. The little devil purred happily as Alec started petting him. Alec’s hand covered more than half of Chairman Meow's small body. Alec’s other hand was dragging through his own sweaty locks, pushing them off his forehead. Jumping around on crutches was hard work. 

“Good. Imogen is letting me stay on the case, under the prerequisite that at least one other agent is with me at all times until I’ve healed.”

Magnus frowned,” What does that mean? I get another roommate?” 

Alec shook his head, “Not quite. They going to have an agent stationed outside just in case. I know you don’t want a lot of people running around, but having a second person stationed outside was the best I could do. And at the studio, we’re always with Jace and Izzy so there is no need to add any more protection there.”

Magnus smiled relieved, “Thank you, Alexander. I’m more than okay with that.” 

“Good, that’s settled then. Worst case, it’s only for a couple of weeks. The doctors said I can try walking without crutches at the end of the week and then it’s only my ribs that need to heal.” Alec said. Ignoring the fact that he’d suffered both a punctured lung, a ruptured spleen, and a massive concussion. 

Magnus ignored the burning fear that flared up at the thought of Alec back in the field. Alec was an agent through and through, he loved his job and Magnus wouldn’t want to take that away from him. If he hoped to be anything more than Alec’s friend he needed to accept that danger was a part of Alec’s job. 

Alec watched him closely, his head slightly tilted as he seemed to come to a decision about something. “Do you want to tell me what you were thinking so hard about before?” 

Oh. 

That was it, the perfect opening to tell Alec what had been on his mind lately. He was scared, his heart racing as forced himself to open his mouth, “Yes actually. I think I do.” 

The agent looked momentarily surprised before settling into a soft smile. 

Magnus took a deep breath, drawing his strength from Alec’s presence. His voice shaking slightly as he forced the words out. “I’m thinking of visiting Camille. And before you try and protest I want you to listen to what I have to say… I want to tell you about that part of my past,” he said. Discomfort rolled off him in waves as he thought about the broken man he had been when he met her. 

“I wasn’t going to protest. You can tell me anything you want Magnus,” Alec said, scootching closer, taking Magnus’ hand in his. 

Magnus screwed his eyes shut, every moment thinking about Camille felt like a punch to the gut. 

“I might need something stronger first,” Magnus said, eyeing the water bottle on the table before rising up and walking off to the drink cart. He poured a double shot of scotch and downed it, before sitting down next to Alec again. The liquid burned down his throat and out to his fingertips, settling his nerves a little. 

“I was twenty-one when I met Camille for the first time. I had just managed to get my first job after a couple of rough teenage years. I had been determined not to follow in my father’s footsteps but I still did a couple of bad things in my teens that nearly landed me in prison. It was only after Luke threatened to actually have me arrested and thrown in prison that I finally got my shit together enough to get a job.”

Magnus shook his head as he thought back. How different his path could have been if it weren’t for Ragnor and Luke. Thinking back at that angry boy who just wanted to be loved and validated, and how easy it must have been for her to take advantage.  

“I got a job as a bartender, whilst also trying to make it as an actor. Ragnor was only an up-and-coming movie director at that time but he still offered to help me. But I wanted to make it on my own, thinking I had something to prove. And maybe I did.

I was already struggling with my self-esteem a lot, and being a bisexual Asian actor meant subjecting myself to a lot of hate and bigotry. Looking back at it I’m not sure how I kept going. I must have been insane or something,” he said, chuckling a little. 

He remembered the first time he’d seen Camille. Walking into the bar all brash confident, with a deadly smile on her lips. Even then he had known she was dangerous, that she would shatter his heart, he just hadn’t cared then. 

“Camille walked into the bar one night. She was confident, unapologetic, and beautiful, at least on the outside, and I fell hard.” 

Alec stirred, tightening his grip on Magnus’ hand. A small indignant sound escaped his lips. 

“She was everything I wanted to be at the time and I worshiped her. She took advantage of that in more ways than one, many of which I wouldn’t learn until much later. She was a master manipulator, probably still is and I desperately wanted to please her. I did almost everything for her, the only line I wouldn’t cross was hurting others.”

You hurt yourself instead. 

“At first I didn’t notice any of it, I was too infatuated to see that she was using me for her selfish needs. And in the beginning, it was mostly admiration she wanted I think.” Magnus sighed and looked down, he felt ashamed just thinking about it. 

“But then a couple of months into our relationship I got my first big part in a low-budget movie and then there was more than my admiration she wanted. She adored the attention, and the money, and the press loved us, thinking we were this perfect couple. It got a bit annoying sometimes but she was so good at making excuses and I thought she loved me. And I was mostly happy, my career was taking off and I was loved, or so I thought,” Magnus swallowed down the lump in his throat. Even now it still hurts a lot. 

“Only the more famous I got the more jealous she got. She began telling me I was worthless, that no one would love me because of my father, and that I shouldn’t tell people I was bisexual since it could hurt my career. She pushed me down when I was at my lowest and then she came back and lifted me up just enough for me to come back to her. 

She made me feel like I was worth nothing, that she was the only one that loved me,” Magnus' voice cracked and tears began to roll down his cheek, he swiped them off.

“Cam-—Camille made it sound like the only thing I was ever good for was buying her stuff and sex. That if people got to know the real me they would leave. She made up faults or wrongdoings I had done so she could break up with me and made me feel like it was all my fault. For which she then would forgive me if I just bought her a new necklace or a trip or something.” 

He had been so foolish, so naive. 

Magnus broke into a desperate sob, “she t—turned me against all my friends, claiming they just didn’t understand our love when they tried to make me see sense. Ragnor, Cat, and Raphael tried so hard to make me see who Camille really was but I was completely blind. For a while, we barely had any contact because Camille demanded all my attention and she hated all my friends.

And at that time I was broken enough that I actually believed her when she told me she loved me, that she was the only one for me.” 

Alec closed the small space in between them holding Magnus tight as he cried. 

He sobbed into Alec’s shirt as the other man whispered small words of affection in his ears. He could barely breathe, due to the anxiety he felt and the snot clogging up his nose as he cried.

He had never wanted Alec to see this ugly side of him but he had opened the floodgates and now there was no holding back, he couldn’t stop crying no matter how much he tried. All the pent-up emotions from the past years had finally boiled over. 

They sat like that for a while, with Magnus clinging to Alec and him rubbing soothing circles on Magnus’ back before Magnus could talk again. Never once did Alec let go or make any attempt to leave, holding Magnus through it all. 

“You deserve so much more Magnus. You deserve someone to love you unconditionally,” Alec said, his voice almost as broken as Magnus’. 

Magnus' following words came out in a raspy voice when he continued, “Then after four years of back and forth, I found her cheating on me with the director of the movie I stared in at the time. I knew she had cheated on me before that but somehow finding them in our bed became the last straw. It was almost a relief when I caught her red-handed because I had finally run out of excuses to stay.” 

Alec leaned over and brushed away some of the smeared eyeliner under Magnus’s eyes. Magnus straightened up and looked at Alec, he needed to see the agent’s face. The man's face showed nothing but kindness, love, and unwavering support. Magnus slumped his shoulder relieved, his fear had been uncalled for and that was what made his tension finally melt away. Alec hadn’t run for the hills, he hadn’t told Magnus he was unworthy of love, in fact, he hadn’t judged him at all. 

“It was like I had been under a spell for so long and then I was finally able to see the truth.” 

Alec's eyes shone with adoration and pride, “You are so strong, Magnus. You have endured more cruelty than any single person ever should, and your heart is still one of the most generous and kind I have ever known.” 

“Alexander,” Magnus said awed. He was so grateful for this kind and understanding man.

They leaned in their foreheads touching, breathing each other in. Magnus could feel Alec’s small puffs of air on his face. It would be so easy to lean in and finally kiss those plump lips. He was desperate to feel Alec’s lips pressed against his. But now wasn’t the time. He didn’t want their first kiss to be shadowed by Camille or Asmodeus, Alec was too important. 

“I want to go with you,” Alec said, leaving no question as to what he meant. 

Magnus’ heart grew, what had made him deserve Alexander Lightwood in his life? 

Chapter Text

“You are not going in there with me. I need to do this alone.”  

“ I won’t if you don’t want me to. But I will be waiting right outside in case you need me.”  

So here they were, standing in the hallway of Luke’s new precinct. The dull white color of the walls reminded him of a hospital waiting room, and no green plants or colorful paintings were going to change that. His thoughts strayed to Alec, and days of waiting for him to wake up from his coma. It had barely been more than a week since Alec had gotten home from the hospital and the crippling fear for Alec’s life was still fresh in Magnus’ mind. 

He swallowed down as much of the surfacing fear as he could and looked over at Alec. 

Alec had switched wheelchair for crutches a couple of days ago and he had made it his mission to master the art of walking with crutches with the same stubbornness he did everything else. His hair clung to his neck in damp curls as he jump-walked ahead of Magnus inside the bullpen where Luke was waiting. 

“Alec, nice to see you up and about,” Luke said warmly. 

“Great to see you, Luke.”

“Luke,” Magnus greeted, his eyes sweeping over the bustling bullpen located on the other side of the open doors. His hands had begun to feel a bit clammy and his eyes clouded as he tried to wrap his head around what he was about to do. 

“Magnus. Are you sure you want to do this?” Luke said. 

He had asked himself that same question dozens of times since he woke up that morning. His past self wanted nothing more than to run as far away as possible from Camille, while his present self knew he needed closure. And although he doubted he would be able to reconcile the two voices in his mind in the next few minutes, he had hoped he would be able to eventually. Until then he knew what he needed to do. 

But the need for closure was unfortunately not enough to stop panic rising within his chest, or his throat from closing up, or his hands from trembling.

It wasn’t until he felt a warm hand intertwine with his that he somehow managed to nod. 

He was not about to run now, he needed to do this. And with the strength of Alec’s silent support, he could. 

Luke looked unconvinced as he glanced over Magnus’ glazed eyes and pale skin, but he did not protest beyond the small frown stuck between his eyebrows. Instead, he led Magnus and Alec down the corridor to the interrogation room they’d set up. 

It was a strange sensation, knowing that he had no more than a single door between him and the person who had tried to destroy his life. And not only once but twice, twice had she tried to break him, and for what? For nothing more than sheer envy and hatred.

“You can wait here Alec,” Luke said pointing to a couple of comfy chairs, located in a small alcove. “Camille is in here,” he said, pointing at a door a couple of meters further down their right. 

Luke put his large hand on Magnus’ shoulder, “You can leave at any time, Camille is cuffed so she isn’t going anywhere. And there is also a panic button on your side of the table if you need any help in there.”

Magnus swallowed past the lump in his throat. 

“Just say the word Magnus,” Luke said. 

Magnus shook his head, “I’m fine.” 

“I’ll leave you to it then.”

Luke turned around and left, leaving Alec and Magnus standing outside the room. 

Alec took a small step forward, grazing his fingers over Magnus’ temple and down his jaw, and for a second everything felt alright again. 

“I will be right outside.”

Magnus looked into Alec’s big hazel eyes, and in their depths, he saw not only understanding and compassion but also something much deeper. He leaned in and let his nose and lungs fill with Alec’s scent, let Alec’s calm and strength fill him up until every part of him was surrounded by Alec. Only then did he turn to put his hand on the handle. 

“Just remember, you are worth everything Magnus. Don’t let her jealousy convince you any different,” Alec said. 

Sometimes he wondered if Alec could see the inside of his soul. If he saw all the wounds inflicted on him and decided that it was his job to sew them all back together again. Magnus’ heart thumped wildly in his chest, and he felt a bit sick but he still managed to flash Alec a small smile before pushing down the handle and stepping inside the room. 

-----||------

As he laid his eyes on Camille, all he could hear was his father’s voice inside his head, from right around the time he had claimed Magnus as his son, “Face your fears right on. Don’t let anyone see you are afraid. No one respects a coward.” 

“Magnus,” Camille purred, her eyes glinting wickedly, “I knew you would come.” 

He shuddered as her eyes dragged deliberately over his body, a cold smirk gracing her chapped lips. Her once thick and glossy hair was hanging lifelessly down her face, her nails were cut down and her face was void of any makeup. She looked like a shadow of her former self, and yet she was still the same person he had loved all those years ago. 

But now Magnus saw her for she really was, cold, manipulative, evil, with no love for anyone other than herself. But even so, he couldn’t stop the fear rising in his chest, nor the invisible rope tightening around his neck, or the voice inside of him telling him he wasn’t good enough.

He forced the feelings deep down and took a couple of steps forward. He took a seat on the other side of the table from her, making sure he had enough space between them so that she couldn’t reach out and touch him. 

“I have come for answers.” 

“Later darling,” she said, smirking. “First I want to know what you thought about the photos Elias hung up. Rather exposing don’t you think? Almost as if you begged for attention.” 

She laughed and leaned forward, “Yeah I definitely think you did.” 

Magnus took a deep breath, he was not going to play this game with her, giving into her sick urges. 

“Why did you do this Camille?”

Camille dragged her finger slowly across the table in a seductive motion. Leaning even closer over the table, her chains rattling against the metal surface.

“Because I wanted to.”

“Wanted what Camille? Vengeance? You had a good career, why do this?” He had wracked his brain for days to understand all this. He knew Camille was selfish and manipulative but he had such a hard time understanding why she would risk her career for some petty revenge scheme. Not to mention that he hadn’t actually done anything to her. 

She smirked, “Let’s play a game.” 

“I’m not here for games.” 

She leaned back in her seat and ignored him, “We each take turns asking each other five questions that the other has to answer truthfully. And to be nice, I let you go first,” she said, grinning viciously. 

Magnus ignored the loud thumping inside his chest, that deep instinct telling him not to give in.  

“Fine.” 

Camille lit up in a smile so vile that it made his skin crawl. 

“Why did you publish those photos?” 

“Why? Don’t you like them?” Her dark eyes taunted him. 

“No actually, I don’t.” 

“Tsk tsk. Don’t lie to me, Magnus. I can see the truth in your eyes.”

Magnus’ stomach rolled at her devilish smirk, the alluring tilt of her lips, it was hard to believe that he once upon a time had found that to be one of the most attractive sights in the world. 

“I don’t like them, Camille. They are a reminder of a time I'd rather forget.” 

“Don’t say that, Love. We had fun, didn't we?” 

“Sometimes,” he admitted, “but the fun memories are buried under the bad ones.”’

She leaned back before swinging her legs upon the table, a power move constructed to make Magnus uncomfortable. But he was not going to bite. 

“You didn’t answer my question, Camille, why did you publish the photos?” 

Camille frowned almost as if she was disappointed that he hadn’t been thrown off from his line of questioning.   

“I needed to hurt you, Magnus.” 

“Why? What could I possibly have done to you to deserve that?” 

“It’s not about that, love. I didn’t care if you were deserving or not. And I still don’t.” 

He was trying to understand, not because it would in any way excuse what she did, but because it felt like a piece of the puzzle was missing somehow. She had so much more to lose than to win. It wasn’t a major crime, she would be out in a year or so. Why risk so much just to destroy his reputation? 

“So what is it about then?” 

Camille let out a cold laugh, her black eyes glinting angrily, “Revenge, having fun, power.” 

Magnus was about to open his mouth again when Camille held out her hand to stop him. 

“It’s my turn, I have already given you multiple questions in a row.”

Magnus huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Every word out of her mouth was like poison in his veins. 

“How are things with your new boyfriend, the agent? I heard he’s been in a little accident.” 

Magnus’ blood went cold and he recoiled up from the table. 

“Did you have anything to do with that?” 

Camille laughed, a bone-chilling evil laugh that would have sent Magnus’ shaking if it weren’t for Alexander. The agent had made him stronger.

“Camille. If you had anything to do with Alec getting hurt. I will…” Magnus said in ill-concealed rage. 

“Don’t be an Idiot Magnus. I’m not a murderer,” Camille said, sneering. 

“But come one. You, Magnus Bane. With a federal agent? Even you have to admit that it’s laughable.”

Magnus shook his head, “Just leave Alec out of this.” 

“As you wish,” she said, “I still have two more questions.” 

Magnus leaned his head against the wall, he was exhausted both emotionally and physically, and more than anything he wanted to never see Camille ever again. 

“Ask me then so we can be over with it.” 

“Oh, Magnus you wound me so. Didn’t you miss me at all when we were apart?” She said, putting on a fake pout. 

Magnus wanted to punch her in the face. But he knew that even if he got the chance he never would. 

“Not for many years now.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Do you know why I chose Elias to be my partner in all this?” 

He had a bad feeling that whatever she was about to say wasn’t going to be the answer he wanted to hear. But he had played the game this far and he wasn’t about to stop now, he had one question left. 

“No, I don’t.” 

“He reminded me so much of you. So easy to manipulate, so quick to believe every single word I said. So desperate to be loved. It was almost laughable how easy it all was.” She smiled mockingly at Magnus' painful look, and then she started laughing. 

Magnus felt the bile rise in his throat, his lungs squeezing in his chest. A reminder he was never going to be free from what that woman had done to him. 

He was almost feeling a bit sorry for Elias, being ensnared in Camille’s cold grasp, he knew what that was like. He probably knew that better than anyone. But still, never once had he ever gone as far as to hurt someone because Camille had told him to. 

“I have one question left,” he said. 

“So ask me,” she said in a cutting tone. 

“You said it’s all about revenge, power. Revenge for what, Camille?”

“I have no idea,” she said scornfully. 

“Stop it, Camille. I’m tired of your games, you can’t possibly tell me that you have no idea why you want revenge?” Magnus said angrily. 

A guard banged on the door, “Time is up. Ms. Belcourt has to go back to her cell now.”

Camille smirked, “Looks like times up,” 

“Tell me Camille, you owe me this,” he said once more, as Camille was handcuffed and led out of the cell.

“I never said it was my revenge did I,” she said and then she was gone, leaving Magnus confused and exhausted. 

-----||------

The sound of the door closing caused Alec to look up from the book in his hands and instead settle on Magnus. He was leaning against the wall with a distant look in his eyes. 

Alec dropped the book on the table and stood up. 

“Magnus?” 

The actor stared down at his hands, not showing any signs of having heard him. Alec could see them trembling from afar. 

“Magnus?”

This time he turned slightly at the sound of Alec’s voice, “Oh there you are,” he said. His voice sounded stiff and toneless, not at all like his usually warm, deep voice.  

Alec took a couple of steps forward, just close enough that he could reach for Magnus' hands. He reached for the hand closest to him and took it gently in his. And then Alec led him gently back to the couch he had been previously sitting on. He guided Magnus to sit down and then Alec crouched down in front of him. He brushed some of Magnus’ straying hair away from his eyes and then began to stroke soothing circles in the nape of Magnus’ neck. 

“What do you need?” Alec asked. He hated feeling helpless, especially when it came to those he cared about. 

Magnus opened his mouth and closed it repetitively, as he tried to get his thoughts together. He looked so lost and confused, that it made Alec’s heart clench painfully at the sight. Maybe seeing Camille hadn’t been such a great idea?

“I want to go home,” Magnus said at last. His eyes found Alec’s, they were swimming with emotions that Alec couldn’t begin to name but he understood that Magnus was probably overwhelmed.

He would do whatever Magnus asked of him. 

“Okey. Let’s go home,” Alec said.

Magnus held on to Alec’s hand like it was the only thing grounding him the whole way back to the car. They only made a short stop at Luke’s desk for a quick goodbye before walking out. Alec could see that Luke looked worried, but he had enough sense not to say anything. But he could feel Luke’s eyes on them the whole way out from the precinct. 

-----||------

It was not until he took his first breath in the comfort of the loft that Magnus found his voice again. 

“It doesn’t make sense,” he muttered to himself as Alec closed the door behind them. 

He dropped his jacket on the floor and then proceeded to walk right into the living room, to settle unceremoniously down onto the couch. Alec frowned as he took up the jacket and hung it on the coat hanger by the door. It wasn’t like Magnus to be so careless with his clothes.  

“It just doesn’t make any sense,” Magnus said louder this time, without looking up as Alec sat down next to him. 

“What doesn’t make sense?” He asked. Hoping he hadn’t just stepped over some boundary by acknowledging he’d heard Magnus talking to himself. 

“Camille… What she told me, doesn’t make any sense,” Magnus said bewildered. 

Alec hummed in acknowledgment as he waited for Magnus to continue. 

“She said it was all about revenge,” Magnus continued. 

To Alec that made perfect sense. She had always seemed vindictive, her behavior at the gala being proof of that. But he guessed that wasn’t what Magnus meant.

“She does seem vindictive,” Alec said gently. Careful not to push his own opinion too hard, but he had a hard time seeing Magnus’ point in all this. 

“Well yes,” Magnus said grimacing, “but when I asked her what I had done to deserve vengeance she told me she didn’t know and that it wasn’t her revenge.” 

That was an odd way of putting it. Alec frowned, could it really be a third person involved in the same scheme? And if it was, was it the same person who put the bomb under the car? Could it really be that the crimes were connected after all? He felt like they missed some huge part of the puzzle, something they weren’t seeing. 

“I won’t force you, Magnus. But it would be really helpful if you could tell me exactly what you two talked about,” Alec said. 

Magnus’ hand flew up towards his ear and he sighed. Alec could see the toll it took on Magnus to think - no less to talk about it, but he still nodded, “only to you,” he said. 

Alec took Magnus’ quivering hands in his, “only me,” he promised. 

Magnus took a deep breath before diving into telling Alec all about his conversation with Camille. Every small detail mattered, shifts in her behavior, what she had said. The longer they talked, the worse Magnus’ looked, the light in his eyes drained, and the flow in his motions stiffened, but he kept going, proving once again how strong and brave he truly was. 

As Magnus finished there were two things of which Alec was certain, Magnus was truly the strongest man he had ever met, and there was someone more involved in all this. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 17.  

It was with a satisfied sigh that Magnus leaned back and closed his eyes. He was still feeling the effects from all those days sitting by Alec’s hospital bed, and the warm water worked wonderfully to soothe his stiff joints and relax his aching muscles. 

Alec had practically forced him into the bath after breakfast, claiming it had been far too long since Magnus had taken some time to himself. Pushing Magnus to enjoy some self-care before Catarina and Madzie turned up for an afternoon in the park. 

He should really listen to Alec more often.

The wonderful man had filled the tub with scents of lavender and vanilla, scents meant to help Magnus soothe and recharge. Lit candles of different sizes were spread out across the large bathroom, illuminating the room in a soft, warm glow. A mug of warm peppermint tea had been left for him on the little table perched at the head of the tub. 

This was the first time since before Alec’s accident that he had time for himself to just breathe. With everything that had happened, Magnus had barely had time to think properly even less to soak in his tub for hours. It was a nice change. The only thing missing was a certain dark-haired man, preferably naked. 

Maybe if they could just catch a break, they would actually have time to talk about something other than the attempt on their lives. Because it was their life now, as Alec’s injury clearly stated, Magnus was not the only one in danger anymore. 

He sipped on his tea and thought back to his and Alec’s conversations after they visited the precinct. Based on Magnus’s recollection of the talk with Camille, the young agent was just as sure as Magnus was that Camille had meant that she had acted on orders from someone else. But when Luke had gone back to interview her the day after their visit, she had been strangely tight-lipped about it all. He said that if he hadn’t known better he would say she had acted as though she was afraid. 

Sometimes it was hard to believe Camille was afraid of anything, but he knew enough to know that wasn’t the case. And then there were also all these signs, things she had said that they couldn’t just ignore. Everything pointed to Alec and him being right in that she had acted on someone's behalf. But who? 

Was it Asmodeus? And if so, why? Had he found out what Magnus did all those years ago? And if so, was he seeking revenge for it? It could be plausible. Asmodeus certainly wasn’t above threats and manipulation to get what he wanted. And Magnus had long left the hope of his father actually caring about him. And if it wasn’t his father, then how was it? He had no recollection of anyone else hating him that much. Someone out there had almost killed Alec and they still had no evidence of who it was. 

He shuddered as he once again was reminded how close it had actually been. Alec lying in a pool of his own blood, Izzy doing CPR on Alec, her own brother, whilst Magnus felt utterly useless. All he could feel at that moment was complete and utter terror that Alec might die. And then Ragnor had dragged him away as he screamed for Alec to wake up. Then sirens lit up the sky in colors of red and blue, just before two emergency service workers ran past him toward Alec. He had seen a heart monitor being connected, and then that first struggling breath out of Alec’s mouth before they loaded him in the ambulance and drove off. 

Magnus had been sure Alec was going to die. He had barely noticed as Ragnor and Raphael led him to the car so that they could follow the ambulance to the hospital. It was only later that Catarina told him that they had to sedate him because he had a panic attack so strong he had been in danger of passing out from oxygen deprivation. 

Breathe, one, two, three. 

He forced himself to think about his breathing instead of what had happened. This bath was supposed to be relaxing, he was not supposed to give himself another panic attack. 

Breathe. 

Breathe.

His heart rate slowed and he leaned forward, putting his chin on his bent-up knees. His reflection stared back at him from the surface. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes and a heaviness in his shoulders that hadn’t been there before all this. 

At least I’m alive, he thought. 

Magnus swallowed the last of the tea before draining the tub. His muscles didn’t ache as much as before but he desperately needed sleep so he stood up to dry off and then went off to bed for a quick power nap. 

The bed was warm and comfy but as he gazed over at the empty side of the bed, he couldn’t escape the longing inside of him, the wish that it wouldn’t be so empty. 

He rolled over, ignoring the empty feeling inside his chest, and let his thoughts drift over to that of a dark-haired angel with hazel eyes. 

------||-------

They had an amazing afternoon together at the park. Isabelle had gone with them as support since the FBI demanded that Alec had backup now that he was injured.

Izzy, Magnus, and Madzie had run around at the playground for hours. They had competed in who could swing the highest, and who could go fastest on the slides. Alec who was still injured was confined to looking on from the side and Catarina had offered to keep him company. 

Alec was happy to get a chance to get to know the woman better, as she was one of Magnus’ best friends. From the way Magnus talked about her, Alec knew she was one of the good ones. He knew that she was kind, compassionate, and fierce. And he knew she worked as a nurse, but other than that Alec didn’t know her that well. The last time they met, Alec had been in the hospital, and the time before that Alec had been more focused on getting to know Madzie.

He was usually more comfortable around children than adults, at least in non-professional settings, children were so much more honest in their expectations and their expressions. Children were guileless and most adults were far from. But from the start Alec quickly came to like the warm and straightforward woman, he could see how Catarina and Magnus had become such good friends in high school. 

She told Alec she had adopted Madzie four years ago. The little girl’s biological parents had died in a car accident and she had no other biological relatives alive. Catarina had cared for Madzie in the hospital and came to care for the little girl as more than just a patient and had decided to send in a request for adoption. 

“She’s an amazing little girl,” Alec said. Looking fondly over where Madzie and Izzy stood under the monkey bars cheering Magnus on, as he made his attempt to cross over. 

Catarina smiled. “She is. And she absolutely adores Magnus. Although he seems to have gotten some competition.” 

Alec chuckled and nodded. “Everyone likes Izzy,” he said proudly. 

“Izzy is great, and so are you Alec. Magnus speaks so highly of you. And you made quite the impression on Madzie last time.” 

Alec blushed and looked down at the grass. He wasn’t used to people liking him, most people found him boring, or scary. They interpreted his reserved nature as if he didn’t like them. But most of the time it was just that he didn’t know what to say, or just didn’t have anything to add. And he couldn’t help if he was a bit serious at times, it was just the way he was. It was in his “big brother nature” to look after others. 

“Alec…Alec.” 

Madzie ran up to him, her face lit up in a huge grin. “What’s your favorite ice cream?” 

He scrunched up his face in a over-exaggerated thinking gesture, which made Madzie laugh. “Hmm. I think I’ll have to say, strawberry and salted caramel,” he answered. 

“Strawberry is my favorite too,” Madzie said happily. Before running off again towards Magnus. 

“Alec’s favorite is strawberry just like me and salted caramel,” she said to Magnus. “So can we go get ice cream now?” She asked, holding her hand out impatiently. 

Catarina snorted as her daughter looked up at Magnus with big pleading eyes. 

He took her hand and said, “Of course, sweet pea. You can’t go to the park without having ice cream.” 

“That’s right,” Madzie said. Before tugging Magnus along to the ice cream truck a bit further down the park. 

“You are staring brother,” Izzy said as Alec watched Magnus lift Madzie up so that she could see every type of different sprinkle they had available. 

“They’re really not subtle,” Catarina chimed in. 

“Not at all.” 

------||-------

He wasn’t bored, he really wasn’t, it was just that Ragnor had talked about productivity and budget for the last half hour and he was… 

Bored. 

Okay so Magnus was a bit bored, but he tried, really tried to listen for Ragnor’s sake. But it was so hard when all he could think about was Alec’s smile earlier that morning, and how his hair had curled over his forehead and how…

Boom. 

Jace had tipped over his chair and was now lying on the floor with a startled expression on his face and his morning coffee all over his pants. 

Magnus couldn’t help it when he started to laugh. 

Jace glared up at him but it only made him laugh harder, as he could see that Jace’ wasn’t physically hurt. Tessa and Jem rushed to help the younger man up from his predicament whilst Magnus snapped a quick photo of it all to send to Alec. 

Alec sent back a photo of him and Izzy laughing. Izzy had taken Alec to the hospital for Alec’s hopefully last check-up. 

He grinned as Jace sat back down, glaring daggers at Magnus as the actor flailed his phone in front of Jace’s face. 

“I’ll get you for this Bane,” Jace hissed. Pressing a towel against his wet pants in an attempt to dry them off. 

“Bring it on Blondie.”

Ragnor rolled his eyes and proceeded with the last few items on his list. And without further incident, they managed to end the meeting just a few minutes later. 

“Jace, Magnus could you stay for a few moments,” Ragnor said as the others started to file out of the room. 

“I have a plan for how we’re going to fix this situation with Alec now when he can’t fulfill the last scenes we had prepared for the two of you,” Ragnor said. 

“Oh, color me intrigued my dear cabbage,” Magnus said, smirking. He threw his legs up on the table and leaned back into his chair. 

Ragnor rolled his eyes,” don’t call me that. If Alec is up for it, I’m going to make his character injured, that way he can still be in the show, and your two characters can have the developing love story we all know you want.” 

Jace snorted,” Like they aren’t lovesick enough already.” 

“Jealous blondie?” 

“No thank you, I rather not die of sexual frustration,” Jace smirked. His eyebrows raised in a cocky gesture that made Magnus want to push him back down onto the floor.

“Don’t hurt your future brother-in-law Magnus. That wouldn’t be classy,” Ragnor said. A satisfied smile lingered on his lips. 

Jace laughed as Magnus rose up, purposely tipping his water glass into Jace’s lap. 

“Oops,” he said. His best innocent smile in place as he walked past them both toward the exit. “I didn’t see you there,” he added before rushing out of the room. 

He laughed as he ran around the corner, he knew Jace would find a way to revenge him later but it was all so much fun. 

Two failed attempts at payback later and Magnus was feeling rather good about himself. He had not only managed to avoid Jace’s pranks he had also lured Iris into one of the traps instead, it had been hilarious watching that spiteful woman drenched in orange body paint. 

“Good work today,” Sebastian said. He passed by Magnus and grabbed a chocolate bar from the snacks table where Magnus had stopped to catch his breath after finishing his final scene of the day. Magnus hoped Jace didn’t have anything left for the day because he was starting to feel antsy without Alec. And was more than ready to go home. 

“Thanks,” Magnus answered. He had always felt a bit uncomfortable around Sebastian for some reason, even though the man had been nothing but nice to him. 

“I think there was someone searching for you earlier, a delivery guy?” Sebastian said, whilst eyeing the muffin in Magnus’ hand. 

Magnus froze, it couldn’t be, could it? Not again. 

Flowers, cards written in blood, Alec dying. 

“Hey man, are you okay?” Sebastian asked, frowning slightly at Magnus’ odd behavior. 

Mangus nodded slowly, “Yeah I’m fine. Thanks for letting me know.” 

“No problem,” Sebastian said, his mouth now full of muffins. 

Magnus searched the room for Jace, but he couldn’t find Blondie anywhere and he was starting to panic. 

It was another treat it just had to be.

“Magnus,” Will interrupted, “are you and Tessa done filming for today?” 

“Yes, we are. Have you seen Jace?” 

Will clapped his shoulder, “Yeah he’s down at the security station. There was something about a delivery.” 

Magnus’ stomach dropped, shit… 

He croaked out a thank you and walked away with quick steps down the corridor, and as soon as he was out of sight he started to run. The guard posting was all down the other end of the facility. 

As he came closer he saw Jace bent down over a laptop, a bitter expression on his face. 

“Jace?” Magnus said, not wanting to startle the agent. 

Jace looked up and immediately his face went from bitter to sad, “Stopp,” he shouted.

“Jace, what happened?”

“Nothing’s happened.” 

Magnus huffed, and put his arms across his chest, “I can see on your face that you’re lying. You might be a better liar than your brother but you’re still not good enough. 

Jace rolled his eyes, and shook his head, “Fine. But you shouldn’t see this.”

Magnus leaned forward and tried to push past Jace, “If it’s about me I need to see it, whatever it is.” 

“No you don’t,” Jace argued, not letting him pass, “I can tell you what it is.” 

Magnus huffed and took a step back with his arms crossed over his chest once more, daring Jace to tell him. 

“Someone sent you a video. Of the car bomb going off. — And a new note, with the words Soon. On it.” 

Magnus paled and took a step back. Who would do something so cruel? Seeing Alec hurt that day was the worst thing he had ever experienced, there wasn’t anything Camille or Asmoudes had ever done to him that hurt more than hearing Izzy say Alec’s heart had stopped. 

Alexander. 

He took hold of Jace’s shoulder, “Where is Alec?” 

“Alec is fine, he’s with Izzy. We should get out of here Magnus. Luke is on his way he can take care of this,” Jace said. 

Jace was right, he shouldn’t be here. Alexander was safe and that was all that mattered. He didn’t need to see that video, he knew every detail of that day, it played inside his mind every night, every last detail of it. 

------||------- 

“How does that feel?” the doctor asked as he felt along Alec’s ribcage, making sure he’d healed properly. 

Alec wined slightly, trying not to show that he was still a little sore, “it feels fine.” 

Izzy jabbed him in the thigh and hissed, “Don’t lie to the doctor Alec. I can see on your face that it hurts.” 

The doctor chuckled, “And I have eyes too. So still a little sore then.” 

Alec glared at his sister, “just a little,” he admitted. 

The doctor hummed as he checked the rest of Alec’s injuries, and looked through the X-rays they had taken earlier. Izzy stuck her tongue out when the doctor wasn’t looking, to which Alec rolled his eyes. 

“Your head injury has healed just fine,” the doctor said, showing the x-ray, pointing to a small area of Alec’s brain that had taken the worst of the brunt in the explosion. “And from what we can see from your blood works and CT scan your spleen has healed well.” 

He took out another picture “And as you can see from these scans, your lung capacity is back to normal levels as well.” 

A rush of sharp relief went through him as the doctor kept explaining how to read the scans and blood work. All Alec heard was that he was fine, he was not helpless anymore. 

“Any problem walking?” the doctor asked. Alec shook his head, “No, it’s fine now.” 

And it truly was, he hadn’t felt the need to use crutches for over a week now. He wasn’t in any pain, the only problem was that he was still a bit stiff, but if the doctor would allow him to start training again he was sure that wouldn’t be an issue anymore. 

He could barely contain the huge smile that was about to erupt, when the doctor said, “Good, good. Well then. It seems like this will be our last checkup Mr. Lightwood. Just keep using the pain relief if needed for your ribs, and take it easy for a couple of more days, and then you’re all good to go.” 

Izzy squealed and jumped up to hug Alec, “You heard that big brother, you are all healed!” 

“I think the whole hospital heard you Iz,” Alec teased, hugging his sister back. 

The doctor smiled, “I hope we don’t have to see you here again agent.” 

Alec replied, “I hope so too.” 

Alec stood at the nurses’ station waiting for the final paperwork, Izzy had gone out to take a sudden call. The area around the nurses’ station was propped with people, many like him waited to be discharged, and some were waiting to see their loved ones and yet it was the last place he had ever expected to see his parents. 

As he filled in the last form and handed it over to the nurse, he lifted his eyes, and there on the other side of the nurses’ station stood his mother, Maryse Lightwood. 

His stomach swooped uncomfortably as their eyes met and his skin prickled. They were close enough now that he could see that her black hair had begun to fade into grey in some places, and her former flawless skin had developed some wrinkles on her forehead, but other than that she mostly looked the same. Except there was something in her eyes he hadn’t really seen before, something softer maybe?  

She took a small step closer when Izzy rushed in, “Alec we have to go.”

Alec saw his mother’s eyes widen when her gaze landed on another one of her children, and he felt frozen in place at the small light of hope he saw in them. 

“Alec we have to go, now,” Izzy said, tugging at his arm. 

Alec turned his head slightly towards his sister, she had a worried, pleading look in her eyes. 

“It’s Magnus, he needs you.” 

Alec’s chest tightened and he forgot all about his mother. He took hold of Izzy and she started to run. Alec was glad he was free from both his wheelchair and crutches or he would never have been able to keep up.  

“Where is he? What happened?” 

They sprinted toward the car as fast as his newly healed body could bear him. His heart hammering inside his chest, he knew what that look in Izzy’s eyes meant, it wasn’t good. 

“There’s been a drive-by shooting at the studio. Jace and Magnus were there.” 

Chapter Text

Magnus desperately tried to will the images of Alec bleeding out on the parking lot from his mind. Jace was right, there was no reason for him to watch that video, he already had his own fresh copy of it. His mind felt like a broken record player, stuck on a single event, doomed to haunt him forever. 

He was so occupied in his own mind that he failed to notice the black car speeding towards them. And he defintiely didn’t notice the black shiny gun sticking out from the driver’s side window. 

“Magnus get down,” Jace shouted, as he pushed Magnus down and behind the nearest car. His arms and legs scraped against the road, as he landed on all four behind the car. He tried to look up but Jace forced his head down. 

“What happened?” Magnus asked, disoriented. 

“Gunshot,” Jace shouted as he pushed Magnus up against the car and covered the actors body with his own. The sound of bullets drowning out anything else that Jace might have said. And just as fast as it had started the shots suddenly stopped. 

Jace stilled for a second, except fo his eyes that swept over Magnus as if he was looking for injuries. The young agent then held a finger over his lips before sneaking a peak over the hood of the car. Magnus barely heard Jace’s “fuck” before the sound of shots smattered against the cars once more.The sound rang loudly in Magnus’ ears and he had a hard time hearing anything else. 

He could see bullet casings rolling over the ground, and under the cars. It felt so surreal, as if he was in one of his movies.  

Because this — this simply couldn’t be happening. He was an actor not the criminal leader over some gang, or a fugitive on the run. Stuff like this only happened in movies. This must all be inside his head, he must be going crazy. 

He closed his eyes, put his hands over his ears and counted to three.

When he opened them, he would wake up in his bed. All of this nothing but a bad dream.   

He opened his eyes just as Jace pushed himself up along the hood of the car they where hiding behind, and fired of a couple of shots. He hit the back window of the car and the glass broke all over the road. 

Magnus shook his head in disbelief, why was this happening to him? 

He saw Jace bleeding from a wound in his leg, and pushed himself from his hiding spot up against the car to help him when he saw the car making a sharp turn and then speeding back towards their “hiding” spot. He could hear a faint “fuck not again,” coming from Jace right before a third round of shots were fired at them. 

“Keep down,” Jace shouted. Magnus barely managed to ducked his head between his knees before a loud painful scream was coming from his right. He gazed up and saw Jace fall against the hood of the car, clutching his right hand over his left upper arm. 

“bastards,” Jace shouted angrily before rolling himself from the hood of the car and onto the ground. 

Magnus could see a blood stain forming from under where Jace held his hand. He had been hit.

“Stay here,” Jace said as scrambled to stand on his feet, he ran out from behind the car and started shooting at the black car with his now injured arm. leaving Magnus behind the car. The black car sped down the road from where it came, the tires screeched as the car accelerated and disappeared around the corner. 

Magnus’ pulse was probably skyrocketing, and his ears still rang with the sound of bullets. He stared at the place where he had last seen the black car as he ran his shaking hands over his own body, searching for injuries. But except for the few scrapes he got from Jace saving him, there was no blood. 

He looked at his beat up hands and he couldn’t fathom what had just happened. 

He then noticed something red glinting past his hands, he lowered them and there just a few feet from him was a small pool of Jace’s blood. He rembered the young man being shoot in the arm. 

He should probably have done something, he should have helped Jace, he didn’t even know where the young man was at the moment. But his legs felt like jelly and his head spunn uncontrollably and he had to vomit. 

Someone had tried to kill him again. He felt sick, his head was spinning out of control and his vision felt a bit blurry. He heard some faint voices far away but he couldn’t focus enough to hear what they were saying. He leaned forward and emptied his stomach onto the ground. 

He felt tears sting on the corner of his eyes and he had to sit back up not to faint as panic started rising in his chest. 

He took a couple of deep breaths and close his eyes. 

Where was Alexander?

He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there when he almost jumped out of his own skin as Tessa came around the corner, a blanket in her hand. She draped it carefully over his shoulder and sat down next to him. 

“Thank you.”  

He tightened the blanket around himself. His shaking was worse now. 

Tessa placed a gentle hand on his arm, “you are probably in shock. It will pass.” 

He nodded, she was probably right. He had a hard time understanding what had happened. He knew someone was hunting him, but he still had a hard time understanding it all, even after all that had happened it felt unreal. Someone was actually out to kill him. 

“How long have I been here?” He asked eventually. 

“Not long, we saw the black car leaving and the cops and ambulance arrived just now. I can see them unloading,” she said. 

Magnus was astounded at how calm she sounded, like it was a everyday event for her. 

Tessa pushed a water bottle in his hand, “drink this. It will help.” 

The bottle shook in his hand, a massive amount of adrenaline was still coursing through his body. Tessa took the bottle and un-screw it, giving it back without any fuss. 

Magnus shot her a grateful look and downed half the bottle in one go. She had been right in thinking he was thirsty. 

“Is Jace okay?” 

Tessa nodded, “He’s fine, it was just a grazing bullet and he’s being looked over now.” 

“How can you be so calm?” Magnus asked equally astounded and grateful. 

“I worked as a paramedic for a couple of years before switching over to acting,” she answered, choosing not to elaborate. “Speaking of they’re here now.” 

He eyed the young, brown-haired girl. She was always so calm and gentle, he thought she would probably be a great medical professional if she wasn’t an actress. She had a calming presences about her that Magnus liked a lot. 

He let the medics fuss over him for a moment, Tessa not leaving his side. But except for a few scrapes he wasn’t physically hurt, and he slowly started to feel more like himself again. 

“Hey.” 

Jace came up from behind the car, his arm was covered in bandage and he had a new shirt on. His pants had been ripped open and he had a large band-aid over his left knee. He was about to sit down next to Magnus when he noticed Tessa. Jace stopped and looked a bit awkward between Tessa and Magnus as if he didn’t really know what to do. 

“It’s okay, she’s fine,” Magnus said, he truly didn’t believe Tessa had anything to do with what was happening to him. She was far too much of a gentle soul for that. “I trust her.”

Jace eyed her hesitant at first but then decided to trust Magnus’ judgment. 

 “Alec and Izzy are on their way. And don’t worry I’ve told him you’re alive already,” Jace said. A small grin flashing over his face, before becoming serious again.  

“Also, I took a quick look at the bullet holes, and I don't think they were trying to kill us. Not saying that they care if they did kill us, but I don’t think they intended for us to die. I think they were trying to scare you.” 

Mangus felt anger rise within his chest, “well they bloody well succeeded. I’m scared, I’m freaking terrified.” 

Jace breathed out, and looked a little hesitant as he said, “I know…” 

His eyes hardened as he continued,” We will get those bastards, Bane. You know Alec won’t rest until you are safe.” 

Magnus dragged his hands over his face and up into his hair, “I know.”

That’s what I’m afraid of, he thought. 

Jace patted his knee in an attempt to be supporting, “Luke’s here, I have to go talk to him, maybe you should come with?.”

Magnus shook his head, he couldn’t talk about this right now and he knew Luke would want to. The only thing he needed was Alec, Alec was his safe harbor in the stormy sea that was his life. 

Jace touched his arm in understanding and walked off towards Luke. 

Tessa stood up and held out her hand for him to grasp, “It will be easier for him to find you by the ambulance,” she coaxed, a gentle teasing smile on her lips.

He didn’t even bother to ask who she meant, but he did huff a little in fake annoyance before taking her hand, letting her drag him up. She led him to where the lonely ambulance was located and forced him to sit down. A paramedic came to look him over again and this time they took his blood pressure and gave him some sleeping pills to take home with him. He held his arm out for her whilst sweeping his eyes over the crowd, but there wasn’t a single hint of a tall frame with messy black hair. 

“He isn’t here yet,” Tessa said. 

“Who?” Magnus asked, pretending to not understand her insinuation. 

“No look there he is, there is Alec!” Tessa said, pointing out toward the crowd. 

“Where?” Magnus asked, jumping up to see over the sea of people. 

And then Tessa began laughing, “only someone in love would be so easily fooled,” she teased. “I was just joking. I don’t think he’s here yet.”

But Magnus wasn’t listening anymore because there in the middle of the massive sea of people was Alexander next to Jace, Izzy and Luke. He looked a bit frantic as his eyes swept over the crowd. Magnus’ heart somersaulted inside his chest at the sight. Alexander’s hair looked like a mess as if he had dragged his hand through it continuously, and he had this adorable looking frown…

Then after what seemed like forever, their eyes met, and just for a second the world around them seemed to stand still, until Alec lit up in the most beautiful smile and Magnus just knew… 

Magnus took a couple of steps from the ambulance, his heart pounded like a jackhammer and then he sprinted toward Alec, cutting in between groups of people until he was standing right in front of the man that had captured his heart. Magnus melted into Alec’s warm embrace, his strong muscular arms, promising to shield Magnus from all evil in the world. 

And he finally felt safe again.

Their eyes found each other, hazel meeting gold. A myriad of emotions was hidden in their depths, but one stood out more strongly than any other, love. 

“Magnus, I’ve never been so afraid as when I thought I had lost you. I know there are a hundred different reasons why we shouldn’t be together to why we should wait, but I  —.”

“Kiss me” Magnus said, interrupting. He had waited long enough. 

He had wanted this for so long, this feeling right here, it was the feeling of home. He melted against Alec as the agent enveloped him in his arms. He had never felt like this before, this combination of passion and safety from one person. His heart thrummed in his chest and his skin felt electric. 

And then Alec kissed him. 

For the first time in his life, he let himself surrender completely. He let himself fall knowing that Alec would catch him without fault. 

The kiss caught fire and he whimpered into Alec’s mouth as the other man grazed his teeth over Magnus’ lower lip. And when Alec slipped his tongue into Magnus’ mouth, Magnus was pretty sure his legs would give out. But Alec kept him firmly upright, as their kiss calmed down into something more chaste. 

Alec’s fingers slipped under Magnus’ shirt grazing his hot skin and eliciting tingles all over Magnus’ arms and torso. He hummed happily and wrapped his arms around Alec before ending the kiss. He buried his head into the junction of Alec’s neck and breathed in the sweet scent of the man he wanted to call boyfriend.  

Alec tightened his arms around Magnus as the actor started to tremble again. The events of the day came back at full force. Someone had tried to shoot him. 

“Please take me home Alexander,” Magnus mumbled against Alec’s soft skin. 

Alec kissed the top of Magnus’ head, “Anything you want Magnus.” He held Magnus tight against himself as they started to walk towards Alec’s car. Shielding Magnus from as much of the public as possible. 

For a short while he had completely forgotten they where there, but when reality came back it hit hard. Fans and media had gathered outside the barriers and they were screaming, pleading for Magnus’ attention. 

“I got you, Magnus. I got you,” Alec vowed.  

“I know. I trust you,” Magnus responded. Alec glanced at Magnus and as their eyes met he saw the same depth of emotions reflected there as in his own. The truth of that statement shining true from the depth of his soul. 

Alec steered Mangus through the crowd without a single other person reaching him, and then he opened the car door and ushered Magnus inside, “let’s go home,” he said. 

And when had a simple declaration of home ever sound so good?

Chapter Text

He should be angry and scared, Magnus had once again been the target of a vicious attack, and not only that Jace had been there too. Both of them could have been seriously injured or worse. He was both grateful for his brother’s quick thinking and furious at him for shooting back. He had exposed himself vulnerable and without backup nonetheless. Even though it had happened no more than a couple of hours earlier, it was far from the first thing on his mind. Instead, all he could think about was that kiss. 

He had kissed Magnus. And it was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him. 

He felt tingly all over, his heart was still beating like crazy and he wasn’t sure it would ever slow down. If anyone could alter his body functions it was Magnus. The actor had made him feel things he never experienced before. 

Even though Alec hadn’t been in the closet for a long time, he still didn’t have a lot of experience. He had never been in a relationship and the few attempts at hooking up he had made had left much to be desired. Truth be told he had never gone further than a couple of handjobs in a bathroom stall. 

And this thing with Magnus. It was so much more than a hookup, what he was feeling felt all-consuming and big, too big to talk about. Even so, there were things he needed to say, things he had to be honest about. He wanted Magnus to be his boyfriend, this thing between them wasn’t a one-time thing to him and he would be crushed if Magnus didn’t feel the same, even though there were so many reasons why they shouldn’t make any kind of commitment right now. Alec’s career, Alec’s job as his assigned agent, not to mention the impact it could have on Magnus’ life, who knew how the person sending the threats would react to news like that? They should wait until the whole mess with creepy stalkers and death threats were finished. But now when he’d gotten his first taste of what being with Magnus would be like he didn’t want to wait. 

“Alexander? What are you doing?” Magnus asked, leaning against the doorframe, the picture of sin in a barely closed midnight blue silk gown and black silk pajama pants. The open neckline left a tantalizing peak of what was hidden beneath.  

Alec stared wide-eyed at the gorgeous man in front of him, struggling to swallow past the dryness in his throat. “I was… Eh, nothing,” he said, a pink hue coloring his cheeks. 

Magnus’ lips quirked up in amusement as his gaze lingered on Alec’s face for a moment. And Alec was glad to see that he seemed to be okay, even more than that he looked happy. 

“We should probably talk?” he said at last. 

“Yeah,” Alec cleared his throat. “I mean yes. We should definitely talk.” 

They both settled on the couch and suddenly the air felt heavy with nerves and anticipation. Magnus turned so they looked directly at each other, his knees grazing Alec’s thigh, he held his hand up next to Alec’s face, his fingers ghosting over Alec’s jaw. 

“Can I kiss you?” Magnus asked. 

“Yes.” 

The tension in the air between them was electric when Magnus crashed his lips against Alec’s. As soon as Magnus touched him all other thoughts left his head, the only thing that mattered was Magnus here and now. As Magnus leaned over in an attempt to move closer, Alec took hold of Magnus’ thighs, dragging Magnus to sit over Alec’s hips. The actor moaned appreciatively at the friction of their hips grinding together. Magnus slid his hands over Alec’s chest and up into his hair, burying his hands into the thick dark locks. 

Their kissing quickly grew more heated and Magnus swallowed Alec’s moan, sliding his tongue into Alexander’s mouth. Alec’s hands skimmed over Magnus’ back desperate to feel the warm skin hiding underneath, until he managed to slide his fingers under Magnus’s shirt and settled them just above Magnus’ hips. 

He surrendered to Magnus’ touch, his scent, his sounds, living for every little second he had the actor in his arms. 

“Stay with me tonight?” Magnus asked pleadingly, as they calmed down to catch their breaths. 

Alec’s brain short-circuited for a moment. Was Magnus asking him what he thought he did?

Magnus left a trail of feather-light kisses all over Alec’s jaw and down his neck, waiting for Alec to answer him. 

“I—I. Shouldn’t we talk first?” Alec managed to get out. His head swam over with images of Magnus naked. He could barely think about anything other than Magnus hand’s and Magnus’ lips, but he tried to focus on what was important. 

“We could. Or we could go to bed. And talk in the morning.” 

Alec stiffened for just a second, but it was enough for Magnus to notice. It was all going too fast. And what if Magnus just wanted sex and nothing more? It would break him. 

“To sleep, Alexander. I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Magnus said, his voice all of a sudden sounding a lot more vulnerable. 

How could he say no to that?

“Yes. yeah, I would like that,” Alec answered. He did like the idea of holding Magnus in his arms as they slept. 

Magnus continued kissing along Alec’s neck, leaving kisses all over his neck tattoo before continuing down to the junction where Alec’s throat met his collarbone. He licked over a particularly sensitive spot before sucking down hard, making Alec whimper as he did his best to leave a mark on the sensitive spot. 

Magnus looked smug as he gazed down at the spot where Alec was certain he now sported a large purple bruise. He pecked Alec’s lips and said, “Let’s go to bed, darling.” 

------||------

Waking up with Magnus in his arms had to be one of the best experiences in his life so far. So it had to be some sort of cosmic joke that made Alec’s phone go off at six am that morning. He resisted the temptation to throw the phone out the window and then bit back a displeased groan as he saw the name flashing across the screen. 

Imogen. If his boss was calling, it wasn't good news. 

He answered with a quiet grumble, “Lightwood.” As he tried to detangle himself from Magnus’ warm body. Which was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do. 

“Lightwood, you have exactly ten seconds to tell me why the hell you and Magnus Bane are on the front page of every newspaper in the country KISSING.” 

Alec gulped nervously and finished detangling himself from Magnus, pushing the covers up over Magnus’ shoulders so he wouldn’t freeze. Shit, what the hell was she talking about? What newspaper?

“I’m sorry ma’am I have no idea what you are talking about?” Alec replied quietly, whilst closing the bedroom door behind him. 

Imogen scoffed, “I’m talking about you having your tongue stuck down Magnus Bane’s throat. Which last time I checked wasn’t in your job description.”

Alec found his tablet on the nightstand in his room and quickly searched for Times magazine. There splashed on the front page were he and Magnus, locked in a warm embrace, kissing. 

He had known what most of the consequences could be if he and Magnus got together, but he had thought they would have a chance to talk them through before it all came crashing down. He had been so wrapped up in Magnus that he had completely disregarded that they had been surrounded by people yesterday. People with cameras. 

He exhaled slowly and slumped down on the couch. It was a lot to deal with, but he didn’t regret it. He could never regret it. 

“I — we… It’s just — I don’t regret it,” he finished lamely, but still earnestly. 

He heard a deep displeased sigh from the other end of the phone.

“I didn’t plan for it to happen like it did yesterday. But I won’t apologize for it.” Trying his best to sound bolder than he was feeling at the moment. 

“I don’t appreciate your newfound attitude, Lightwood. But I do value your honesty. Even so, it’s still a problem. I expect you, Isabelle, and Jace in my office at one o’clock today. We need to get this sorted quickly,” she said, leaving no room for argument.

Alec sighed, he had looked forward to having a day alone with Magnus. But he didn’t have a choice now. Not unless he wanted to save his job. 

“One o’clock,” he confirmed. 

After ending the call with Imogen, Alec braved another look at the article. 

There was no denying it was a pretty good picture of the two of them, despite its intrusive nature. He sighed and dragged his hand through his already messy hair as his eyes swept over the accompanied text. It was worse than he thought, they had outed him and his siblings as FBI agents.  

Apparently, Jace’s involvement in the shooting hadn’t gone unnoticed and it hadn’t taken long before the first journalists discovered the truth. And Alec’s apparent involvement with Magnus had only fueled the fire and rumors about what was going on. 

This was worse than he thought. All of Magnus’s closest friends knew, but most of his colleagues didn’t, and they would probably be pissed. 

“Alexander?” 

Alec looked up at a soft, sleepy-looking Magnus standing hesitantly a couple of feet from the couch. His dark hair was flattened down over the right side of his head, and he was all wrapped up in a fluffy dark purple robe. 

“I’m sorry. Imogen called and I didn’t want to wake you,” Alec explained. 

“Oh.” He sat down and immediately leaned into Alec, dropping his head onto Alec’s shoulder. “What did she want?”

Alec exhaled slowly and pushed his tablet toward Magnus. It wasn’t like he could conceal the news from Magnus much longer anyway. He was pretty sure both their social media were blowing up like crazy. 

He put his arm around the actor and watched from the corner of his eye as Magnus’ eyes grew wider and wider as he read the article, his heart thumping nervously in his chest. What if the actor didn’t want this? What if he decided that Alec wasn’t worth the trouble?

Magnus lowered the tablet onto the table and dragged his hands over his face. It was a couple of excruciating seconds to wait for Alec until Magnus opened his mouth and said, “I’m sorry, Alexander.” 

“I’m the one that’s sorry,” Alec responded. 

Magnus straightened up and shook his head whilst putting his hand on Alec’s leg and said, “You could lose your job because of me!” 

Alec huffed, “Because of me, everyone knows someone tried to shoot at you. They figured out that Jace, Izzy and I are FBI agents.”

“I don’t care about that,” Magnus stated.

Alec put his hand over Magnus’ and squeezed. “And I haven’t lost my job. Not yet anyways, and even so I would risk it all over again if it meant being with you.” 

Magnus grew quiet, his face frozen in what Alec believed to be shock. 

Alec’s phone went off again, this time Izzy’s name flashed on the screen. He declined and pushed it under the couch cushion. Izzy and everyone else could wait. 

“You can’t seriously mean that?” Magnus said at last. Every word was colored with disbelief over Alec’s statement. 

Alec thumbed gently over Magnus’ cheekbone, how could this amazing man not get how enamored Alec was with him? His skin tingled at even the slightest touch, and his heart skipped a beat every time Magnus walked into a room. His eyes couldn’t help but stray to wherever Magnus was standing, even without him meaning to. 

“I can. Magnus! You mean so much to me. I have this ridiculously large crush on you and I want us to be together. But only if you want that too.” He could just hope that Magnus reciprocated. 

Magnus’ hand trembled as he imitated Alec’s gesture, his thumb lingering on Alec’s cheek before continuing to brush down over Alec’s jaw. “You continue to surprise me, Alexander,” he said.

Alec blushed as Magnus’s intensive, passionate eyes stared into his. “In good ways, I hope?” 

Magnus let out a surprised laugh, before answering in a soft, deep tone, “Oh my darling, in the absolute best ways. I happen to have this ridiculous big crush on you too.” 

Magnus leaned in and brushed his lips over Alec’s. It was the softest of touches, a promise of the feelings they shared. 

Magnus leaned back again, his eyes now sparkling and happy. “Of course, I want to be with you angel.” 

“Yeah?” Alec asked. Feeling as if his heart could burst with happiness. Magnus wanted this, wanted them. 

“Yes, Alexander. I want to be your boyfriend,” he stated. He pecked Alec on the lips once more before jumping up from the couch and holding his hand out to Alec. 

“Is it too much to hope that my boyfriend wants to cuddle in bed,” Magnus asked. A suggestive smirk lingered on his lips. 

Alec knew he could say no and Magnus would be fine with it, but he realized he didn’t want to. There was plenty they could do that he was more than ready for. 

“Never,” he said, smiling up at the beautiful man in front of him before taking Magnus’ hand. He stood up and let the actor lead the way back to the warm bed. His heart thumped inside his chest in the rhythm of his new favorite word, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend. 

------||------

Ten minutes before his meeting with Imogen Alec stepped out of his car and onto the bureau’s parking lot. His siblings stood by the building entrance waiting for him, sporting matching Cheshire grins. He knew he was in for the sibling treatment, a whole lot of teasing and I told you so. He cast a glance back at the car, he missed Magnus already. 

“You two looked so cute in the paper, I can’t believe I missed the live thing,” Izzy said, giving him a tight hug. She took a step back, a bright grin on her face as she looped her arm in his and dragged him towards the elevator. 

Jace smirked and said, “I didn’t know you were such an exhibitionist Alec.”

“Shut up,” Alec grumbled, while simultaneously giving Jace the finger. 

“What, I’m just proud that’s all,” Jace said, winking. 

Alec rolled his eyes, trying to hide the hint of a smile lingering on his lips. His morning with Magnus had been wonderful and left him feeling happier than ever. Even with the impending meeting with Imogen looming over him. 

Izzy pushed the button for the sixth floor and the elevator closed behind them. She leaned in to hug him again and said gleefully, “Don’t think I’m letting you off the hook. I want to hear everything that happened between you two.”

“Pretty sure, the news has a pretty good idea,” Jace said gleefully. 

“I need details, Jace,” Izzy said. “It’s high time for some sibling time. We’ve barely hung out just the three of us since we got this assignment.”   

“I want a Taki burger,” Jace said. 

Izzy lit up and nodded enthusiastically, “Yes, please. Taki’s.” 

Alec frowned, he was looking forward to getting back to Magnus. But it had been a while since the three of them had spent any quality time together. And he had missed spending time with them outside of work. A couple of hours couldn’t hurt. He and Magnus had all the time in the world. Hopefully. Although Imogen could probably kill him without leaving a single trace. 

“Taki’s” he agreed. 

They both smiled happily in response and then the elevator dinged. 

“Just ignore them and be nice,” Izzy hissed, just as the elevator doors slid open. 

The whole floor erupted in cheers and wolf whistles, and someone howled, “Get that ass Lightwood.” 

He felt like he wanted to melt through the floor and hide, his cheeks burned with embarrassment as he saw the gleeful, suggestive smirks on some of his colleagues face’s. Some were less teasing and more disgusted, some even looked angry and his stomach churned uncomfortably. He had never hidden the fact he was gay, but although the bureau had a non-discrimination policy he wasn’t fool enough to think everyone would be okay with it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see the look on their faces.

He had never been more thankful to his boss than when she stepped out on the platform a few seconds later. 

“Quiet,” she said. Her hard eyes swept over their heads. “What sort of nonsense is this?” She asked, her voice leaving no argument for what she thought of this kind of behavior. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting them out, to see if anyone would dare to argue. But no one did. 

“Lightwoods, in my office now,” she said before stepping back inside. The three siblings quickly followed. 

Alec’s stomach fluttered nervously as the door closed behind them. He fell naturally into a parade rest, hiding his nervously fidgeting hands behind his back. 

“You,” Imogen said, pointing at Jace, “have five minutes to tell me everything that happened yesterday starting now.”

Jace nodded, and started telling their boss everything that happened yesterday from the discovered threat to the shooting and then what had happened after. He paused as he came as far as to Alec and Magnus’ kiss and eyed Alec nervously. 

Imogen ever the shark intercepted it immediately and a small smirk formed on her lips. 

“Thank you, Jace,” she said, holding up her hand stopping him from continuing. “Why don’t you tell us what happened next?” She said, shifting her gaze over to Alec. 

“You know what happened ma’am.” 

She pressed her lips together, eyeing him disapprovingly. He was pretty sure it had been the wrong move on his part. But he stood his ground, in the presence of a predator the trick was to not appear weak. 

“Yes, but what  I don’t know is why. What game are you playing here agent?” 

Alec snorted, he had thought it was obvious. His siblings sure thought so, he had heard jokes about him and Magnus’ obvious feelings for weeks now. 

“It’s not a game ma’am, I care for Magnus a lot. What happened yesterday wasn’t something either of us planned for, but it happened and I don’t regret it.” 

He could see Izzy and Jace’s matching grins from the corner of his eye and it warmed his heart that his siblings were so happy for him and Magnus. To have their support meant a lot. 

Imogen on the other hand eyed him suspiciously as she asked, “How long has this been going on?” 

“Since yesterday ma’am.” 

“You mean to tell me, nothing had happened between you two before yesterday?” She said as she made a note on her computer. 

Alec nodded, “That’s correct. Nothing happened between us before yesterday.” 

Imogen glanced over at Izzy and Jace, they both nodded in corroboration at Alec’s statement. She seemed to relax a bit at that, at least. 

Alec rubbed his thumb over his index finger and inhaled deeply. What would happen now? He was pretty sure that it wasn’t against any rules for an agent to kiss the person they were meant to protect, but that didn’t mean the bureau was fine with it. 

“That’s something at least,” Imogen said after a slight pause. “The fact that you haven’t tried to hide this from me means that at least I don’t have to fire you.”

Alec let go of the breath he had been holding. He got to keep his job. Izzy let out a small cheer that made both Imogen and Alec send her a harsh look. It was clear Imogen wasn’t finished yet. 

“But since you and Mr. Bane are in a relationship now, I can’t let you act as his protective detail anymore,” she said. “Your feelings for him could compromise the entire mission.” 

Alec felt his chest tighten, but Magnus was still in danger. There was no way he would 

leave Magnus’s side right now. 

He opened his mouth to protest, but she held up her hand to stop him and glared at him with such force that he decided against it. 

“So this is what is going to happen. You Mr. Lighwood are going on a paid leave of absence until further notice. I don’t care if you find that unfair, I’m not going to change my mind.” 

“Jace, you will take over as leader of the operation and I will also add to Mr. Bane’s security with two guards that will be posted outside Mr Bane’s home at all times.” Imogen said. 

“You two,” she said pointing to Jace and Izzy, “will continue your work at the studio as a courtesy to them until we find out who the perpetrator is. They’ve already reached out and asked specifically for you three to stay on, although there is no need for secrecy there any more, you have all been exposed.” 

“What about Alec?” Jace asked. 

“The studio wishes for you to finish filming and that’s fine with me, but under no circumstance are you allowed to be a part of the investigation during that time. Other than that you’re free to do whatever you wish for the time being. Trust me when I say, I will know if you decide to break my terms,” she said. Standing up, and therefore indicated that the meeting was over for now. 

What should he do now?

------||------

“That went better than expected,” Jace said as they sat down at the booth at Taki’s. 

They had found the small diner during their second year at the FBI academy. The diner was located only two blocks from the bureau and with its excellent selection of great greasy comfort food, it hadn’t taken long for it to become their favorite dinner. 

“Maybe. But I have no clue what to do now,” Alec said, whilst doing everything he could to ignore his growing anxiety. 

“What are you talking about? You still have a job to do!” Izzy said, smiling. 

“Haven’t you been listening, I was just forced on paid leave, that could last forever for all we know,” Alec said irritated.  

Izzy snickered, “Not that silly. I’m talking about the studio, Imogen said you could continue your work with them. And, I’m sure Ragnor and Elliot would be rather upset if you just left. They even changed the script for you, remember?” 

Oh. 

He had completely forgotten about that. But Izzy was right, he had promised them that he would help in any way he could. And even though he made that promise on the basis that he would also be at the set as an agent it was still a promise. They might even let him continue as a stunt coordinator if he asked. 

It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. He could still be close to Magnus, and help keep him safe, even though he wasn’t allowed to work on the case anymore. 

Now his only problem was that he had run out of excuses to stay at Magnus’ apartment. 

“Thanks, Iz. I hadn’t thought of that,” he replied. 

She grinned, “You’re welcome. And I’m sure you will be back as an agent in no time. Now for something much more fun, have you seen some of the tweets about you guys?” she asked, waving her phone in front of their faces. 

“What tweets?” Jace asked, whilst peering curiously down at Izzy’s phone. 

“Oh, it's about Al —.”

She then got interrupted when Kaelie the waitress came to take their order.

He wasn’t sure why Kaelie bothered to ask anymore; they always ordered the same thing. Alec ordered the smash burger with fries and strawberry milkshake, Izzy ordered a veggie burger with mozzarella sticks on the side and a chocolate milkshake and Jace always ordered pancakes and bacon with an oreo milkshake. 

“So anyways what I was saying is that Alec is famous now,” Izzy said brightly. 

“Excuse me?” Alec said, sputtering. 

Jace scrolled through Izzy’s Twitter feed and laughed as he read, tweet after tweet off of Izzy’s phone, “OMG, they even want you to adopt them.” 

Alec rolled his eyes, a faint blush on his cheeks, as Jace continued to list some of the dirty things people wrote about them. 

“You can’t be serious,” he said, frowning. Crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Take a look for yourself,” Izzy said, handing him the phone. 

Someone had posted two pictures of Alec and Magnus. One of the pictures was of them kissing, and the other was of them locked in a tight embrace, their foreheads pressed together, it looked every bit as intimate and romantic as it had felt in the moment.  

@ MissMagnussbane - Aaawww they look adorable, is that Magnus’ boyfriend? He is freaking handsome. 

@MovieBaneisbabe - OMG look at those strong arms, I bet he could lift Magnus without breaking a sweat. 

@FandomloverMB @MovieBaneisbabe - I was there!!!  He is tall as well. Magnus is one lucky man. #Hunk

@MagnusBanelove @FandomloverMB @MovieBaneisbabe - You know what they say about tall guys. They have big **** #Jealous

@FandomloverMB @MagnusBanelove - Swoon. 

@Ilovechairman - Oh I know him. We went to high school together. I think he works as a cop or something. 

@MovieBaneisbabe @MagnusBanelove @Ilovechairman - I think I died and went to heaven. Of course, Magnus would find himself a man in uniform. #alsojealous

@MBbiggestfan - Are we sure it’s not just a scene from the show? It sure looks romantic. #Whohasevidens

@ MissMagnusBane @MBbiggestfan - I sure hope not. I want them to adopt me. 

@PlsMagnusDomMe @ MissMagnusBane @MBbiggestfan - Me too. 

People were ridiculous, Alec wasn’t anyone special and he certainly didn’t want to adopt anyone called @PlsMagnusDoMe . He ignored the heat radiating from his cheeks and gave the phone back to Izzy. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he muttered. 

Jace grinned and said, “Just think of all the hot girls we will be surrounded by now.”

“I’m gay, Jace,” Alec said deadpan. 

“Yeah, but I’m not.” 

Alec shook his head and wished to the angels that Jace was wrong about the surrounded by girls part. Still, it was nice to see that most of Magnus’ fans seemed to be happy for them. 

“Seems like you have earned yourself a ship name,” Izzy said brightly. 

He frowned, he had no idea what the hell Izzy was talking about. Why would he need a name for a ship? 

“What ship?”

“Not a name for a ship Alec. A name for you and Magnus, as a couple. 

“What is it?” Jace asked curiously. 

Izzy smirked, “They’ve officially been dubbed Malec.”

Chapter Text

Alec gazed out over the large crowd and exhaled slowly as he drove past the gates onto the studio parking lot. He turned off the engine and leaned back against the headrest with his eyes closed. The noise of hundreds of fans screaming his and Magnus’ names only grew louder and louder, everyone desperate to get a glance at the new couple. 

He felt wholly unprepared and it was not something he was used to feeling. He had always been a planner through and through, even in his line of work he always had multiple backup plans. 

“It’s going to be fine, darling. I promise,” Magnus said softly, squeezing Alec’s hand in a comforting gesture. 

Alec took a shuddering breath and opened his eyes. A warm feeling shot through him at the sight of his boyfriend. The actor bit his lip worryingly and looked down at their joined hands.

“You can’t promise that Magnus. I have no idea what I’m doing. Or what to say. I’m not good at any of it.” 

Magnus shifted so he could look straight into Alec’s eyes, his brows raised slightly as he tried to understand what Alec was so afraid of. 

“I’m sorry darling, I know it’s a lot. But you don’t have to be anything more or less than what you are, just be yourself, Alexander.” 

Alec rolled his eyes and let out a small huff, “How can I? I’m not good with people. They will all hate me. And I can’t even blame them if they do. I'm nothing.” He looked down at his hands, they were rough and callus, not anything like Magnus’ graceful fingers. He was scared he wasn’t good enough, for the fans, at his work, for Magnus… 

Magnus lifted Alec’s chin so that he was forced to meet the actor’s eyes yet again. “You are not as bad with people as you think you are Alexander. I’m sure they will adore you, darling. I know because I adore you and I can’t imagine anyone not..” 

Alec shook his head and said, “I think you might be a bit biased.” as a bashful smile grew on his lips.

“I’m not biased, what I am is right,” Magnus argued. 

Alec couldn’t help smiling even bigger at his boyfriend. Every time Magnus made a declaration like that he felt like his heart would jump out of his chest from happiness.  

 “You have the most beautiful smile my darling,“ Magnus said, as brushed his free hand over Alec’s cheek. 

“You really are biased,” Alec replied. 

“I’m not, we can go ask our friends if you want. Ragnor would never lie, I’m sure if I asked, he would —.” 

Alec groaned, “Please don’t.” 

Magnus pouted, “Fine, I will ask when you’re not around.” 

“Magnus.” 

“Okay fine, I won’t ask. “ 

Alec shook his head in amusement. And then his eyes caught on to the line of people right outside the gate and he tensed up again. 

“I just — I’m not used to getting this much attention. And I didn’t even do anything except kiss you,” Alec said interrupting. Before closing his eyes again, his head falling back onto the headrest. 

Maybe if he didn’t see them he could pretend they weren’t really there. 

“Well kissing me is a rather big deal,” Magnus said teasingly. 

Alec opened one eye slightly, glaring at Magnus, “It was a huge deal, probably the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done. I just didn’t realize the rest of the world would be so,” He searched for the right word, “invested.” 

Maybe Alec regretted it, Magnus thought. It wouldn’t be the first time that someone had walked away because they thought he was too much. It had hurt as hell every time it happened, and each time it had added another crack to Magnus’ already battered heart. But if Alec left, well then Magnus knew he wouldn’t walk away with yet another crack. No, this time his heart would break, and crumble into dust until there was nothing left to salvage. This time there would be no heart left to glue back together. 

“Do you regret it?” Magnus asked at last. His voice trembled as he let the words leave his mouth. 

Alec’s hand flew up and grabbed the one Magnus still had lingering on his cheek, as his eyes cracked wide open. “What? No, of course not.” 

He turned and pulled Magnus into a hug, “I would make that same choice over and over again. I could never regret choosing you. Although sometimes I wish I had done it sooner, and I definitely wish I had done it somewhere more private.” 

Magnus sniffled and whispered into Alec’s neck, “Really?”

“Yes really. I would choose you every time,” Alec said. His voice filled with conviction, strong enough to send tingles down Magnus’s spine. 

Magnus lifted his head enough to plant a kiss on Alec’s lips. “I choose you too.”

Alec burst into a blinding smile that made Magnus’ heart flutter and set his pulse racing. His hazel eyes shone bright as stars as he leaned in for another kiss. This one, longer than the first, filled with heat and want. Even as the kiss ended, he still lingered for a second, sinking into the feeling of them being so close that they could still feel the heat from each other’s lips. 

They both knew that this wasn’t the time for anything more. 

Magnus withdrew slightly and said in a noticeably lower voice, “Are you ready to go inside?” 

Alec nodded, “yeah. I’m ready.” 

Magnus murmured sweet words in his ear as they stepped out of the car, doing what he could to distract Alec from the frenzy surrounding them. And even though he could feel the panic rising in his chest he never let it take hold. 

Even so, it still felt like a huge weight had dropped from his shoulders as soon as the doors closed behind them. 

Magnus held Alec’s hand in a tight grip as they walked down the halls toward the dressing rooms. If Alec needed support he damn well would give it to him. Not to mention that holding Alec’s hand made Magnus feel like a giddy schoolboy experiencing his first crush. 

Magnus couldn’t help the huge smile spreading over his lips, he was happy. 

Alec had been right about people staring, and there were quite a few smirks sent their way as they walked past. But Magnus didn’t hear any nasty comments and neither did Alec, or so Magnus guessed since he noticed Alec relaxing more and more. And it wasn’t long until everything felt completely normal. 

Raphael was standing outside Magnus’ dressing room when they arrived. 

“You’re late.” 

“How can I be late? I had no idea you would be here,” Magnus said, cheerfully. 

Raphael glared, “Filming started ten minutes ago.” 

“I’m sure Ragnor will forgive me, after some of his usual grumbling. Anyways we ran into a bit of an unexpected crowd.” 

Raphael leveled him with an unimpressed stare, “Unexpected? Really.” 

Magnus just grinned and put a protective hand on Alec’s back. 

Raphael rolled his eyes and said, “We need to talk later. Meet me in Ragnor’s office after filming is done.” And then he walked past them toward the set. 

Raphael wasn’t usually on set much, mostly because he trusted Ragnor to keep an eye on  Magnus, but as Magnus’ manager, he still came around from time to time. And he was here more often now, ever since the bombing. But this was the first time since the night Alec moved in with Magnus that Raphael had requested a meeting like that. With both of them. 

Alec exchanged a quick glance with Magnus hoping to get some clarity but the actor just shrugged, so it didn’t seem like he knew what it was Raphael wanted to talk about either. 

------||------

“Are we done for today?” Alec asked Ragnor. 

Ragnor looked up from the screen, he was reviewing the last footage. “Yeah, it looks good, so you can go.” 

Magnus sneaked his hand into Alec’s and kissed his cheek, “Let’s go see what Raphael wants. Maybe he finally listened to my request for pink suit day once a month,” Magnus said, smirking. 

Alec rolled his eyes but followed dutifully after his boyfriend. Raphael was as likely to wear pink as Alec was running naked through Times Square. 

“Now will you tell us why you have honored us with your presence on this fine day?” Magnus asked as soon as he crossed the threshold into Ragnor’s office, whilst Alec closed the door behind them. 

Raphael rolled his eyes and glared at Magnus, “It’s evening,” Raphael muttered. He took an envelope from his jacket pocket and gave it to Magnus. On the front, it spelled Magnus Bane in beautiful gold scripture. It had a logo of a gothic church on the left corner. 

“What’s that?” Alec asked.  

“It’s an invitation from the Institute,” Raphael answered. 

Magnus opened the envelope and started reading the invitation. 

“What’s the Institute?” Alec asked. 

Its full name is “The Institute of Filmmaking” and it’s an organization consisting of influential filmmakers all over the world. Every year they come together to host a gala in celebration of the film industry and they also hand out prizes to the best within the industry each year,” Raphael explained. 

Alec nodded, it had to be the same gala that Izzy always talked about each fall. He hadn’t paid much attention to it, but he knew Izzy loved to watch those kinds of things. He wondered if Magnus used to go to these things. He probably did since Raphael had traveled to the studio just to give him the invitation. 

“I’m one of the nominees?” Magnus exclaimed. He looked up with a wide-eyed expression.

Raphael nodded.

Magnus took two shaky steps back and slumped down on the couch. “I’m actually nominated?” 

Alec sat down next to him and put his arm around Magnus’ back and kissed him on the top of his head. “Of course you are. You are an amazing actor, Magnus,” Alec said. 

Magnus looked surprised as he gazed up at Alec, “You really mean that?” Magnus asked. 

 Alec planted a gentle kiss on Magnus’ cheek. “I really do,” Alec said, smiling.

Magnus shook his head in disbelief before looking up at Raphael. “It’s not a joke?” he questioned. 

Raphael rolled his eyes, a slight hint of a smile lingering on his lips. “It’s not a joke, Magnus. You are one of the nominees.” 

“Can I see that?” Alec asked, gesturing towards the letter. 

He still looked a bit shell-shocked as he nodded and gave Alec both the envelope and the invitation. 

Alec eyed the content of the letter, it was a lot of unnecessary information but one thing caught his eye, the gala was in two weeks. 

“It’s in two weeks,” Alec said.

Raphael nodded, “Yes they were a bit later than usual with the actual invitations although the date has been on the calendar for a while.” 

Alec frowned and took up his phone, he had Magnus’ whole calendar as well as his own. Raphael was right though, the date was clearly marked in Magnus’ calendar. Alec sighed, it was clear he hadn’t done a good job lately of keeping up to date with all that was happening. Maybe it was a good thing that he wasn’t allowed to lead the case anymore. 

“You should get in touch with Jace, he’s in charge of security now,” Alec said to Raphael. 

Raphael frowned but nodded, “I will call him later.” He glanced over at Magnus again and said almost teasingly, “So shall I let them know you’re coming?” 

Magnus chewed nervously on his lips for a second, his gaze landing on Alec. Alec slid his fingers in between Magnus’ and smiled. He still hated crowds, and he was sure most people hated him, but he also wanted to make sure that Magnus knew that he was okay with whatever decision the actor wanted to make. 

Magnus squeezed lightly on Alec’s hand in thanks, before lighting up in a blinding smile and said happily, “I guess this means we’ll have to go shopping.” 

 Alec groaned miserably. He hated shopping. 

“I take that as a yes then,” Raphael said. 

Magnus chuckled and lifted Alec’s chin so they could look each other in the eye. “I promise it will be fun.”

Alec had heard that statement many times before. It was the same thing Izzy always said before they went shopping, and every time he still ended up hating it. He loved clothes that were comfortable and neutral, Izzy called them “boring”. She loved clothes that were tight and form-fitting, not to mention bold colors that made her stand out, and she was adamant that Alec would love her suggestions if he just gave them a chance. He knew he wouldn’t, so they had the same argument over and over again. 

“Fine.” 

Magnus kissed him. 

------||------

“How about this one?” Alec asked, holding up a classic black tuxedo with black pants. 

Magnus grimaced and shook his head, “It’s not special enough. You deserve to wear something outstanding, Alexander.” 

“I thought it was fine,” Alec muttered. He walked back to where he had found the suit in the first place and hung it back. The store was huge, with a whole floor dedicated to male formal wear. 

Magnus had a female shopping assistant next to him, waiting on his every hand and foot. Alec rolled his eyes, she probably saw dollar signs and a fat commission as soon as Magnus walked into the store and she hadn’t stopped flirting with him even though Alec was right there.

Alec sighed as he noticed that Magnus and the woman were holding a shimmering purple fabric in their hands. There was no way he would be wearing that. Magnus looked good in anything, and he would look amazing in that but he would not, he would look like a clown. 

“I’m not wearing that,” he said as soon as he was close enough for Magnus to hear him. 

Magnus turned around with a soft smile on his lips, “I know, darling, it’s for me. I would never try to force you into anything you didn’t like.”

Alec smiled and gave Magnus a quick kiss. “Thank you.” 

Magnus pulled him in for another kiss, it was more heated than the other. Magnus’ teeth nipped over Alec’s lower lip and when Alec moaned and parted his lips slightly, Magnus took the opportunity to suck on Alec’s lower lip before licking into his mouth.

Alec scrambled to take hold of Magnus’ hips, forcing their bodies together until only two pieces of thin fabric separated them from feeling each other’s skin. He was dangerously close to losing control, his brain about to go blissfully empty. And he couldn’t do that here. He tore himself away and took a couple of deep shaky breaths to calm himself down. 

“Not here,” he said. 

Magnus grinned, his eyes a shade darker than normal. He smirked and said suggestively, “We could use one of the dressing rooms?”

Alec’s cheeks immediately heated up, turning a shade pinker than normal. He imagined Magnus pushed up against the wall, his legs up around Alec’s waist. Biting his lips so as not to scream whilst Alec took him long and hard up against the wall. His head tilted back in pleasure, showing off his neck for Alec to leave marks. 

“M-maybe another time,” he said in a shaky voice. He wasn’t averse to it per se. But he didn’t want their first time to be in a store where at any time someone could walk in on them.  

“Alexander,” Magnus breathed out, “you can’t leave a man hanging like that.” 

Alec saw that the assistant was on her way back so he flashed Magnus a crooked smile and said, “I can actually.” And before Magnus could respond the assistant was back with a collection of fabric samples. 

“What about this one?” Alec asked Magnus. They had been at it for two hours and this was their fourth store. 

Alec held up a black suit that was paired up with a dark green shirt. The suit had thin silver threads running through it, which at certain angles made the suit shimmer slightly. 

Magnus ran his hand over the fabric, his keen gaze taking in every little detail. He nodded, “It’s beautiful. You should try it on.” 

He took the suit with him into the changing room, he desperately hoped this was the one. He was tired of trying on clothes, and this had just enough color and shine to it to make Magnus happy, at the same time as it was just subtle enough for Alec to feel comfortable. 

The shirt was a bit tighter than he normally liked, but it looked good, and the suit looked well-fitted whilst still feeling nice and light. 

“What do you think?” he asked Magnus as he walked out of the fitting room. A nervous smile on his lips. 

At first, Magnus said nothing, he barely reacted at all, and for a moment Alec was actually scared Magnus had had a stroke. Then he started to smile, he jumped up from the chair and walked up to Alec. 

“You look amazing darling.” 

He walked around Alec, and stopped for a moment behind Alec’s back, before coming back around. He took hold of both laps and leaned in, whispering in Alec’s ear, “You look good enough to eat. I can’t wait to rip this off you after the gala.” Alec could have sworn he felt the smirk on Magnus’ lips when Alec shuddered from the light touch of a feather-light kiss just below Alec’s ear. 

“Is that a yes on the suit?” Alec asked. Ignoring the low breathy register of his voice. All this tension and flirting had him wired up. 

Magnus stroked his fingers down along the suit, “If you like it, then definitely, yes you should buy it.” 

Alec sighed relieved and nodded, “I like it.” He walked back into the dressing room and started to undress. 

“Now can I know what you are wearing?” Alec asked, through the dressing room door. 

“Nope. I want it to be a surprise,” Magnus said. 

Alec put the suit and shirt back on the hanger and opened the door. “You got to see my suit,” he said. 

“I’m still not going to tell you,” Magnus replied. Leaning in for a kiss. “I’m hungry, what do you say to lunch?” 

Alec smiled, “sounds great! I’m just going to pay and then we can go.” 

Magnus grabbed his hand and shook his head. “There is no need. I’ve already paid.” 

Alec frowned, “there was no need for that, I could have paid.”

“I know you could have. But I wanted to. I like spoiling you. Please let me,” he said. Making huge puppy dog eyes toward the agent. And Alec felt his resolve crumble. If Magnus would have been a criminal Alec would be in serious trouble. 

“Fine. But I’m buying lunch.” 

Magnus grinned and tugged on Alec’s hand to get them moving, “deal.”

------||------

“Alexander?”

They had just finished their meals when a voice he hadn’t heard in nine years pierced his ear. He took a shaky breath before glancing up at the two people who had ripped their family apart all those years ago. He felt as if all oxygen had been sucked out of the room as soon as he laid his eyes on his parents.

If he thought it had been hard knowing his parents had been at that charity gala months ago or that seeing his mother at the hospital no more than a week ago had been hard he had been wrong. Looking at them now, hearing his mother’s voice was a hundred times worse. 

It was as if nothing had changed while at the same time feeling as if everything had changed. They were all older now, maybe even wiser. But most importantly he wasn’t a young scared teenager anymore. 

And yet he felt himself struggle to breathe. His heart raced and his palms started to sweat. And even though he had so much he wanted to say to them and so many questions he wanted answered, he choked on the words.

How did one begin to talk to the two people that he should have been able to trust the most in this world but couldn’t? He wanted them to know all of his sufferings, he wanted to make them feel it, at the same time as he was terrified to give them that hold over him. Instead, he just stared, hoping he would be brave enough to find the words. 

Then his parents did something he hadn’t expected. They smiled. Like they were happy to see him. 

How could they smile? After all this time. Like nothing had ever happened, like they hadn’t broken his heart. 

As he was about to spiral even further he could feel Magnus push his leg up against Alec’s in quiet support. His brown eyes were shining with understanding and support. He was waiting for Alec to decide what they should do, letting him take the lead. His faith in Alec made him feel strong, even bold, so before he had time to think he slid his hand over the table and tangled their hands together on the tabletop. 

It was a clear statement. 

He met his mother’s eyes dead on, “It’s Alec. Only Magnus calls me Alexander.” 

He turned his head back to Magnus again, “This is Magnus Bane my boyfriend. Magnus, this is Maryse and Robert Lightwood,” he said. Leaving out the obvious, this is my parents’ speech. He knew Magnus had already figured it out.

His parent’s smiles disappeared in an instant. 

Magnus smiled proudly at Alec before turning and holding out his hand in a polite greeting. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood, nice to meet you,” Magnus said, managing to keep a polite smile in place even though both of Alec’s parents stared between him and down to their joined hands with faces of utter disgust. 

Neither of them showed any will to shake Magnus’ hand. 

“Alexan — Alec, you must stop with this nonsense immediately,” Maryse hissed, looking worryingly over her shoulder. 

He felt the disappointment settling deep into his bones. His last ounce of hope that his parents might come to see sense one day vanished right before his eyes. He could see the disgust and bigotry in their eyes as clearly as he had nine years ago. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, fighting to keep his voice steady.  

He wasn’t about to take their treatment in silence this time. He wasn’t going to hide away this time. Last time he had left for the military, but this time he had everything to fight for right here. 

“This,” she said, gesturing to their joint hands. “Flaunting your so-called “relationship” like this. It’s wrong, unnatural.” 

“You must see how much damage this does to our reputation. Your siblings’ reputation?” Robert added. 

Alec tightened his unoccupied fist, years of anger and sadness surging through him. How could they not see that this, his relationship with Magnus was the best thing that had ever happened to him? That, being with Magnus felt as natural as breathing to him. 

“You don’t need me to destroy your reputation, you do that fine all by yourselves,” he said eventually. He forced himself to take a couple of slow breaths before continuing. “I have a good life, I’m finally proud of who I am. And I’m not going to hide away anymore.” 

Maryse huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Her disappointment in him was clear as day.  “I thought you would be smarter than this Alexander. We could have helped you, given you a family, and a career to be proud of. I mean look at you, look at him,” she said, gesturing at them both. 

The chair scraped against the floor as Alec stood up. He glared down at his parents, as he stood there arms across his chest. 

“I have a family, Izzy, Jace, Magnus, they are my family. I have a good job, a career I’m proud of. I don’t need you. And my name is A L E C.”

Robert shook his head and sneered, “You must be joking son, I mean look at him. He’s not even a real man,” he said disgustedly. His eyes filled with hatred as he looked over at Magnus. 

Alec stepped up right in front of Robert, the man he once had thought of as a father, someone to look up to. How wrong he’d been. 

“I am looking at him, he’s the most beautiful man I have ever seen. And not only that Magnus is also the most good-hearted, talented, passionate, wonderful human being I have ever met. He’s more man than you will ever be,” Alec said. 

Alec held out his hand for Magnus to take. He immediately felt a warm hand in his, and it never failed to make his heart flutter. 

He turned towards his parents, his voice cold as ice. “I’m happy. I don’t want you in my life,” he said. Whilst pulling Magnus from the chair to stand up next to him. “I have everything I need right here,” he said, squeezing Magnus’ hand. 

“Max would be ashamed, " Maryse said furiously, “he would be ashamed that you choose this over your own family.” 

Her words felt like a punch in his gut, he recoiled back from the hate and sadness in his mother’s words. 

“I wished you would have died instead of him.” 

All the air left his lungs and his heart cracked open. At least that was what it felt like. He took a step back, feeling like he was going to fall but Magnus’ hand was there to catch him. He held Alec steady as he felt his last defenses crumble. 

Max.  

Tears burned behind closed eyelids, and panic rose in his chest. 

He could faintly hear Magnus' voice. 

“I’m sorry for you. I’m sorry that you can’t see what a wonderful person Alexander is. He was a wonderful big brother to Max, and he would have done anything for him. I’m sorry that you are so filled with hate that you can’t see that. You have three wonderful, kind, and bright children and you have lost them all because of your inability to see your own faults.” 

He forced his eyes open, a few stray tears rolling down his cheeks. 

He watched both his parents, his mother’s lips twisting in anger, his father’s shifting stance as if he were about to hit something or someone. He could see them mouthing words but the ringing in his ears was getting louder and louder. For every second he felt more and more like an outsider looking in. And it was getting harder and harder to breathe.  

“Alec deserved better than having you as parents. I can’t do anything about that. But I will spend the rest of my life making sure he knows he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“I hope neither of us have to see you two again.”

Alec could feel Magnus’ tight grip on his hand, as he dragged Alec away. 

“Hold on darling,” Magnus soothed, “just a little more than we’re safe.” 

He had known that he couldn’t avoid them forever, not as long as they lived in the same city. But somewhere deep down he had always hoped that they would change, that they would eventually see their faults and apologize. He had been so stupid. 

I wish you would have died. 

He had never thought… Even in his darkest nightmares, he would never have thought… 

“It’s okay Alexander, You can let go now. I’ve got you,” Magnus said. 

She had actually said it. He had known… But to hear it so blatantly. He tried to choke down a sob. His fingers trembled as he dried his tearful eyes. 

“I wished you would have died instead of him”

He knew it, he had always known it. He was the one nobody wanted.

He felt Magnus’ arms around him, and he collapsed into the safety of Magnus’ embrace. 

He finally let go. He let himself crumble. Every breath hurt, and every heartbeat echoed in his ears. He wiped his lips clean from the saltiness of his tears, for them to immediately be replaced with new ones. 

“They’re right. He should never have died,” he sobbed out. 

Magnus rubbed his hand soothingly over Alec’s back and said gently. “You're right, it wasn’t fair that Max died. But it wouldn’t have been fair if it was you dying either, darling. What happened was a terrible accident and it was not your fault. And Max would have been so proud of you today, standing up for yourself. He would have wanted for you to live a good life, Alexander.” 

Alec let out a choked sob and buried his head in Magnus’ neck. 

Magnus held him in a tight embrace. “You are the best thing to happen to me, You are worth everything. And the world would be a much worse place without you.” 

“I miss him.” 

“I know, my love. I know. Max knows too. It’s okay to miss him.” 

Alec nodded into Magnus’ neck, allowing his tears to keep falling. He was safe here, breaking down in the back seat of Magnus’ car. He was safe, because of Magnus.

Chapter Text

Alec hissed in pain as some of the butter splashed up from the frying pan and down onto his forearm, he dropped the spatula and took a step back from the stove. A small red mark had already started to form so he hurried over to the sink to sooth the small burn under running water. He spared a quick glance looking at the clock on the microwave, it said 18:44, Magnus would be back from his meeting with Raphael any minute. They had had some things to go over before the award show that Saturday. So Izzy and Jace had gone with him whilst Alec had stayed at the apartment since he was no longer on Magnus’ protective detail. Usually, Alec would have insisted on going with them anyway but tonight he had hoped that he could surprise Magnus with a romantic dinner. He needed some way to show Magnus how much he meant to him. His support and kindness since their meeting with Alec’s parents had been invaluable to him. It had been hard, but Magnus hadn’t let his self-hatred fester. Instead, he had shown him all the ways that Alec mattered. He had made Alec feel safe again. He deserved everything and more. 

Alec turned off the tap and glanced over at the carnage he had left all over the kitchen, he sighed as he looked over the mountain of dishes left behind on the counter, and the empty table he hadn’t had time to set yet. Well, at least the food looked good. He ignored the dirty dishes and started setting the table, hoping that he still had a few minutes to spare. He tried his best to make it look inviting and romantic, even lighting a few candles but it wasn’t the same as when Magnus did it. He lacked Magnus' magical touch. Alec had just begun loading the dishwasher when he heard the key in the lock. He swore and hurried to get it all done and just about managed to close the dishwasher when Magnus stepped into the kitchen. 

“Something smells wonderful,” Magnus said, smiling as he walked up to Alec. “Hi darling,” he said, leaning in for a kiss.

It never failed to make Alec all hot when Magnus kissed him. He was pretty sure he lit up like a neon sign when Magnus kissed him, shining and blinking in rainbow colors. signaling to the world how incredibly gone he was for the man in front of him.

“Hungry?” Alec asked. 

Magnus smiled and nodded, “Starving.” He glanced over at the table and a small frown appeared between his eyes. “Have I missed something?” 

Alec shook his head, “Nothing special. I just wanted to spoil you a little,” he said. Hoping that Magnus couldn’t hear the nervous hint in his voice. He had never done anything like this before. In fact it was the closest thing he had ever come to a real date. He turned around, pretending to check on the food, not ready to let on how much it meant to him to have Magnus be his first real date. It was embarrassing. 

Magnus smiled softly, coming up from behind he sneaked his arms around Alec’s waist. Putting his head on Alec’s shoulder. “I thought it was my job to spoil you darling,” his voice shaking the slightest bit as he continued, ”I’ve never had someone cook me a romantic dinner before.” 

A small flutter of butterflies erupted in Alec’s stomach. He couldn’t believe he had found something Magnus had never done before. Without even trying! 

“I never agreed to that arrangement. You deserved being spoiled more than I do,” Alec said. He turned around and leaned in for another kiss, a much longer one this time, and he had to force himself away at the sound of the kitchen timer going off. “It’s nearly finished,” Alec said. 

“Need any help?” 

“No need. Why don’t you go sit down, pour us some wine and I will get this out of the oven,” Alec said. 

Magnus kissed him on the cheek, “Such a gentleman.” 

Alec grinned happily. The night was off to a good start.

-------||--------

Magnus shuddered as he opened the door and walked out on the balcony. He hoped that the cold evening air could help clear his thoughts. Not even Alexander’s lovely dinner had helped to shake the nervous feeling that had settled in his bones since his meeting with Raphael earlier that day. He exhaled and walked the last steps to the railing and then he just stood there breathing in the fresh air. 

He knew he had bigger issues to worry about, but the gala was in a few days and he knew how much winning the prize for the best-supporting actor could do for his career. Most people he met thought he had it easy ever since his big break a couple of years ago but that was far from true. Being a bisexual asian actor meant his every step, every mistake was scrutinized, and sometimes it felt like everyone was waiting for him to fail. He knew the positive impact he could have on future actors, and maybe even on the industry as a whole, but that could only happen as long as he was still wanted as an actor in the industry. He was not just nervous, he was afraid and even more so since Raphael insisted on reminding him of the impact the award could have every two seconds. It wasn’t that he had a bad career, he was well-liked in the industry and he had loads of fans that loved him, but an Adamas award was like getting a stamp of approval from some of the biggest names in the film 

Even so he hadn’t forgotten he still had a killer stalker after him,just thinking about it made him sick. What if whoever they were decided to do something during the gala? He would never forgive himself if someone got hurt because of him. It was pure luck that nobody had died yet, after a bombing and drive-by shooting he was terrified to even think what could happen next. 

Magnus sighed and looked out over the dark sky, if he was being honest with himself, he felt exhausted by it all. He had lived on the edge for months now, and it was taking its toll on him. if it weren’t for Alec he would probably have gone insane by now. Alec shone as the brightest star in the sky, he was Magnus’ guiding light out of the darkness that had surrounded his life for far too long. He had never felt the way Alec made him feel before, safe, cherished, respected, loved, like he was worth something more than being someone's trophy. All he wanted was for Alec to feel like that too. His darling angel deserved that and more. 

A warm feeling settled in his chest as he heard the balcony doors open. “Hey babe,” Alec said, the sound of his footsteps coming closer until he was right behind him, draping a blanket over Magnus’ shoulders. 

Magnus raised a brow, “babe?” 

Alec shrugged sheepishly, “I thought I would try it out. You give me all kinds of nicknames.”

Magnus smiled and leaned his head back on Alec’s shoulder, and held his hand out for Alec to take. “I like it.” 

Alec blushed and took Magnus’ hand in his, lifting it enough to leave a small kiss on the back of Magnus’ hand. “Good.” 

They stood quietly for a while each stuck in their own thoughts but needing the closeness. They both still had a lot to process. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Alec asked eventually. 

He thought about it for a minute and realized that he did want to tell Alec. He was tired of keeping so much bottled up inside. “I’m afraid,” he said at last.

Alec breath caughted in his throat. “Of what?” he asked, tightening his arm around Magnus. 

“I’m afraid of going to the award ceremony and what it could mean for my career. And I’m afraid that my presence there could hurt someone.” 

Alec nodded and then chewed his lip for a minute, “I will not let anything happen to you or anyone else,” Alec said.

“You can’t promise that.”

 “Are you afraid of winning or losing?” 

“What?” 

“Are you afra–.” 

“Alec, stop changing the subject. You can’t just say things like that and then pretend you didn’t,” Magnus said exasperated.  

Alec leaned in his breath ghosting over Magnus’ ear, “I’m don’t have anything more to say in the matter. Now answer me, are you more afraid of winning or losing the award?” 

Magnus wanted to kiss the stupid smirk he knew was grazing his boyfriend's face. But he let it go for now. In truth it was a great question that he wasn’t sure he knew the answer to. To be truthful both outcomes scared him. A win could change his life, and so could a loss. And a loss would most certainly feel awful. 

“I’m not sure, maybe both,” he said at last. 

“It will all be alright and no matter what I will be there either way. You’re not alone unless you want to be. But to be honest, I think you will win,” Alec said. He played a little with Magnus’ fingers. “And it’s not your fault if anyone gets hurt, Magnus’. I know you think it’s your fault this person is chasing you but it’s not. Jace has already talked to the security firm they are using at the awards and they will put in additional security. There is no need to worry.” 

“I hope so,” Magnus said, gazing up at the stars. Maybe a wish upon a star was all they could do at this point. He located the brightest star in the sky and stared at it while making a silent wish. 

He turned away from the sky and directly towards Alexander, his beautiful protector. “Thank you, darling.” 

“What for?” 

Magnus smiled and stood up properly so he could reach better. “For being you,” he responded and then planted a soft kiss on Alec’s lips. 

Alec hummed happily and placed his hand on the back of Magnus’ head, stopping him from drawing back unless he really wanted to. He deepened the kiss, licking into Magnus’ mouth. 

Magnus moaned and pulled Alec’s hips flushed against his. He could feel Alec’s dick growing harder by the second and it spurred Magnus on even further. He slid his tongue inside Alec’s mouth, their kisses growing more heated. Every touch from Alec felt electric, every moan igniting a fire inside of him. He hadn’t felt this close to the edge since he was a teenager and that was mostly hormones, this was so much more than hormones though, and he had to push himself away from Alec before he came in his pants. 

“Let’s take this to the bedroom?” He said in a husky voice. 

Alec pulled his already swollen lip between his teethth and nodded, letting Magnus lead him into the apartment. 

As soon as Magnus closed the bedroom door Alec had him pinned up against the door kissing him completely senseless. Magnus moaned into the kiss, wrapping his legs around Alec’s middle. He had dreamt of this hundreds of times since A lec moved in, but it was still ten times better than he could ever imagine, the man had the body of a Greek god and he held Magnus up with a simplicity that made Magnus swoon. He tangled his hands up in Alec’s gorgeous silky hair and deepened their kiss. It all happened so fast, but he couldn’t resist the needy little moans, the way their lips seemed to fit perfectly together or the way Alec touched him with such reverence and heat all at the same time. He gasped and pulled on Alec’s hair as the other man grazed his teeth over Magnus swollen lips, Alec's hips jerked in response and pressed hard up against Magnus’ hardness. “Magnus,” Alec moaned, his hands digging into Magnus’s hips. He pulled away from Magnus mouth to instead leave a trail of featherlight kisses along Magnus jaw and down his neck. Magnus gasped as Alec sucked on a particularly sensitive spot over Magnus' collarbone. Magnus couldn’t care less about the small bump he was sure he got by banging his head back against the door when Alec scraped his teeth over the sensitive spot while simultaneously undoing the buttons on Magnus' shirt. 

He quivered as Alec undid the last button on his shirt and drew it apart, every simple touch made the burning desire within him burn even brighter, and he wanted Alec to claim him as his. Alec brushed his fingers lightly over Magnus' warm skin leaving goosebumps in its wake. His heated gaze doing things to Magnus' heart that he wasn’t sure he could put a name on. 

“You are gorgeous,” Alec murmured. 

Magnus cupped Alec’s cheek, his thumb stroking gently over his boyfriend’s sharp cheekbone. “So are you,” he whispered. Before leaning in for a gentle kiss that quickly grew heated once more. 

Every fiber of his being was consumed by Alec, all other thoughts evaporated until all he could think and do was Alexander. When Alec suddenly pulled back, he had to bite his lip to hold back a disappointed whimper.

“Hold on tight,” he said. 

He spun Magnus off the wall and walked them towards the bed. He leaned down over the bed, laying Magnus down on the bed as if he was somehow fragile before standing back up to take his shirt off. He had seen Alec without a shirt before, but that was during training, and during a time he never thought he would get to have this. He stared shamelessly at Alec’s broad shoulders and well sculpted chest down to his toned stomach, heat pooling in his gut. 

Alec leaned down over the bed, his hands caressing Magnus' legs all the while kissing over Magnus’ stomach, his tongue tracing over Magnus’ abs. He crawled up along Mangus, kissing, touching every inch of Magnus' body, he felt like every nerve ending were on fire, Alec’s touch setting him a blaze. 

He bit back a moan and watched in amazement as Alec’s wet lips closed around his nipples, he flicked his tongue over Magnus’ sensitive nipple. He kept up with his ministrations until Magnus couldn’t keep quiet anymore. He could see Alec smirk at his reaction and god if he wished that it wasn’t so damn sexy. 

He put a hand over the zipper of his pants, “Can I?” He asked. 

Magnus nodded vigorously, barely able to get out a single word, “yes.” 

Alec dragged the zipper down with an excruciatingly slow pace, and Magnus was pretty sure he didn't breathe until Alec hooked his fingers over the hem and pulled. He pulled off all the rest of Magnus' clothes in one sweep and let them fall to the floor. He sat next to Magnus on the bed in complete silence at first, his hungry eyes gazing over Magnus naked body for more than a few seconds before he started kissing his way up from Magnus leg’s all up to his mouth. 

Magnus hooked a leg around Alec’s hips as their lips met again and rolled him over, smirking as he was now on top. “My turn darling,” he said in a husky voice. He took a few moments to appreciate the gloriousness of Alec’s body from above, he wanted to trace every single one of Alec’s tattoos with his tongue. He started kissing all along the z-shaped tattoo on Alec’s neck until he came to the lowest part where he scraped his teeth over the most sensitive part, loving the way it made Alec whimper. He soothed the burn with his tongue before continuing his way down Alec’s chest. He traced every inch of Alec’s chest and abs with his tongue, his angel responding deliciously loud and enthusiastic to everything Magnus did. 

Magnus made sure to take his time down the lower part of Alec’s stomach, his hard dick hiding underneath his pants just an inch or two away from Magnus’ mouth. He scraped his nail lightly over Alec’s pants right where the most sensitive part of Alec’s dick was hiding and the man whimpered loudly, “Oh. Please Magnus, more.” Magnus placed a featherlight kiss over the rough fabric, and he smirked into Alec’s pants when the man whimpered. “Please, Magnus. P-please I want to feel you.” Magnus' own dick twitched at the request, “Your wish is my command angel,” he said roughly. He popped the button on Alec’s pants open and pulled his  pants off in one big sweep. He swallowed at the sight of Alec’s hard, large dick, it was just as glorious as the rest of him. He jumped off the bed and walked over to the dresser to get a condom and lube, he tossed them beside Alec on the bed and crawled on top of the tall man once more. 

Alec met him halfway, his hands cupping Magnus’ cheeks, and he kissed him deeply. Magnus hummed and pushed him lightly back down onto the bed. Alec’s hands caressing down from his face down to Magnus' chest. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this,” he murmured against Magnus’ lips. Magnus leaned back to look Alec in the eyes, “You can have me in every way Alexander, I’m all yours.” 

He found Alec’s dick and began stroking it with firm gentle strokes. Alec gasped, his wide eyes trailing over Magnus face for a second before leaning in for another deep kiss. He bit Alec’s lower lip, sucking it in between his teeth whilst continuing stroking Alec until the man was a moaning mess.  

“Mags, please. I can’t —” Alec’s eyes were almost black as he stared at Magnus with a hazed expression. He had never wanted anyone more. 

“Can’t what Alexander? Should I stop?”

“NO, don't stop.” Alec looked wrecked as he tried to find his words. “I—I want more. I need you.” 

Magnus stopped and leaned down over Alec, his mouth ghosting over Alec’s ear, “What do you want Alexander?” He nosed along Alec’s jawline leaving featherlight kisses as he waited for Alec to give him the answer he so desperately wanted. Not that he wouldn’t respect Alec if he wanted to stop, he would. 

“I want you,” he said shakily as if it took every ounce of composure to say what he wanted to say, “I want you to fuck me.” 

The words reverberated through him in the same way fire reacted to gasoline and the last of his control slipped. He poured some lube on his fingers and placed himself in between Alec’s legs. “Relax darling,” he stroked his fingers over Alec’s puckered hole in a calming motion before pushing one of his fingers inside. He did his best to distract Alec from the pain and discomfort with his lips and his touch and soon enough Alec relaxed enough to push another finger inside. 

Alec looked beautiful like this, his skin flushed and his eyes wide and hazed. He cried out when Magnus found the right spot, his hands clenching over the covers. “Mag—Magnus.” 

Magnus sucked a large bruise into Alec’s thigh, “You are doing so good darling,” he said. Alec’s dick leaked and twitched as Magnus found the prostate once more and he cried for Magnus to fuck him. “Please. I need you.” 

He knew he should have waited a bit longer, making sure Alec was relaxed but he was closing the edge in rapid speed and he’s resolve broke as Alec begged for Magnus to fuck him. 

He pulled his fingers out and pulled on a condom, covering his dick in lube before pressing a pillow under Alec’s ass. “This might hurt,” he said. 

“I don’t care,” Alec said. His eyes were covered in black, shuddering as Magnus pushed inside. Alec pushed his head down into the pillow, his breathing coming out in staggering puffs. 

Magnus bottomed out, holding Alec’s thigh in an iron grip, he was dangerously close to coming before he had even made a single move. He held still, hoping he hadn’t made a premature move, until Alec finally started to relax. 

“You can move now,” he said. 

Magnus left a single gentle kiss on Alec’s thigh and then he moved. The sounds and the feeling of being surrounded by Alec was intoxicating, it was nothing like he had ever experienced before. Sex had never felt like this. Seeing Alec like this uninhibited, deep in pleasure filled a deep seeded need within Magnus he hadn’t known existed. 

“Magnus,” Alec breathed it out into space like it was a prayer, “Magnus.” 

Magnus leaned down over Alec, his mouth finding Alec’s in a sloppy heated kiss, their fingers tangling together until they were close enough to feel like one. It was overwhelming in the best possible way.

He was powerless against Alec’s influence, and without warning he hurled over the edge with Alec’s name on his lips. Alec followed him just seconds later. 

-------||-------

Magnus adored the sight of Alec all flustered, the agent had his hand buried deep in his hair, dragging it back and forth making his hair look more and more like a bird's nest for every second, and his cheeks and neck looked more red than pink for every passing second. He gazed up with wide eyes, his eyes wandering between Magnus and the script in his left hand. 

“They want us to do what?”