Archive of Our Own ^beta

The courtyard was empty and quiet. Chan heaved a sigh of relief. Most of the time he would be happy to find other players, but he was tired than usual, and he’d rather just clear his mind by himself.

There were times when Chan would feel extremely homesick, and he’s unfortunately experiencing that feeling. He called his grandmother an hour ago, but it only made his situation worse, and now he misses her like crazy. 

Plus, as if things couldn’t get any worse for Chan, they did.

One week prior Vernon introduced his new girlfriend to him. Chan plastered on the fakest smile he could muster and tried his hardest to not break down right then and there. There were so many feelings swirling around his head that it got too overwhelming. Guilt, dread, regret. 

He was guilty because Chan should have been happy for Vernon, but he wasn’t, and he hated himself for it. The loving looks they exchanged, the small kisses, the affection. All of it made Chan feel sick. Dread because he’s been in love with his best friend that treats him like a little brother for God knows how long. Regret because he should have confessed to him sooner, because even if he got rejected — at least he didn’t have to feel as miserable as he did the last week. 

Chan dribbled the basketball against the floor, feeling the smooth surface against his hand. He bent his knees and aimed for the hoop, taking his shot and completely missing. It bounced off the metal ring and rolled away, and Chan watched it, feeling too weak to chase it. 

Okay, so maybe playing basketball by himself wasn’t doing anything for him. 

Chan sat on the cement floor, curling in on himself and listening to his surrounding area. There were noises coming from stray animals, distant chatting, and… the sound of shoes pressing against the ground. It was getting closer, until Chan raised his head, craning his neck up to peer at the person.

Chan immediately frowned, “What do you want?”

“Well, I came to practise by myself. While I was walking up to the courtyard, I saw someone. Didn’t expect it to be you,” Seungkwan shrugged, holding Chan’s basketball in his hands.

Chan pulled himself together and snatched the ball from his hands. “Well, I got here first.”

“And?”

“And, I don’t want you to be here,” Chan muttered under his breath. “There’s two other courtyards, use them.”

Seungkwan pretended to be thoughtful, “I don’t think I will.”

Chan didn’t say anything else, he already felt like an idiot for acting like he owns the courtyard. “Fine. Go ahead and do your own thing.”

They fell into a moment of awkward silence and Chan hesitated, before turning around and walking towards the benches. Maybe Seungkwan wasn’t expecting him to give up so easily, and honestly, neither was Chan. But he’s too drained to be arguing with someone as stubborn as Boo Seungkwan. 

He took a seat on the bench and watched Seungkwan score a hoop. The older boy glanced at him and smirked. He dribbled the ball between his legs, spinning around and scoring another hoop.

Chan would never admit it out loud but Seungkwan was good. He was good at everything he did and there were times Chan would be envious– not jealous . Seungkwan was a social butterfly, he made people comfortable and could stir up a conversation in seconds. He didn’t have a problem with meeting new people and acting like they’ve known each other for ten years. 

He remembered the day he met him in middle school. Vernon introduced him as Seungkwan and they became close friends. Granted, they’re friendship was constructed of petty arguments and competition, but it was fun, because he was doing it with Seungkwan. 

In high school, Chan admitted that he liked Vernon. But he wasn’t expecting the reaction he received from Seungkwan. He became oddly quiet and… hurt. Chan was confused when he ran out of his room, muttering some kind of excuse that he had homework to do, but Seungkwan always completed his homework a day before, so it was obviously a lie.

After that day, they slowly drifted apart. Chan stayed close to Vernon and Seungkwan joined the basketball team. It was only when Chan was a sophomore that he realised Seungkwan wasn’t his friend anymore. He got rid of his contact number and pretty much moved on with his life. It hurt more than Chan imagined. 

Now that they’re both graduated and in their second year of university, Chan appreciated Seungkwan more than he perceived. 

“Hey, dumbass.”

Chan recovered from his daze and glanced up at Seungkwan. “What?”

“I said, let’s play a game,” he passes the ball to Chan.

“I’d rather not.”

“Why not? Too good for me?” 

Chan scoffed, standing to his full height. “That’s cheap coming from you.”

Seungkwan looked confused for a second before he sighed, “Really, Chan? Still dwelling on the past?”

“Fuck off, Seungkwan. I can’t believe you still can’t admit that you were in the wrong,” Chan hissed.

For once, Seungkwan became quiet. Chan looked away, and only then realised they were only a few feet apart. He cleared his throat and took a step back. “Let’s play your dumb game. I’ll show you how much I improved.” 

Seungkwan grinned. The sight of Seungkwan always made a sudden fire of competitiveness start in his stomach. He threw the ball towards his direction, and Seungkwan caught it swiftly with a similar expression. 

“Best out of five wins,” Seungkwan stalked towards him slowly, a smirk appearing on his face. “To make this interesting, let’s say the loser has to do something.” 

“No way,” Chan takes a step back, slightly intimidated. “I’m not going to make some stupid bet with you.”

Of course, Seungkwan didn't know when to back down. Instead, he knew exactly which buttons to press; “Assuming you’re going to lose? I’ll count on that, Channie.” 

It seemed like Seungkwan always knew which buttons to press, because Chan glared at him. “Loser has to do anything the winner tells him to.”

“Oh. I definitely like the sound of that.”

“You don’t need to sound so creepy about it, weirdo,” Chan mumbled, bumping into his shoulder purposely. “Come on, game on.”

Before Chan could process anything, Seungkwan smacks the basketball out of his grip and uses Chan’s confusion to his advantage. He aims for the hoop and instantly scores a point. Chan’s mouth fell open in disbelief and Seungkwan laughed at him.

“That didn’t count!” Chan yelled at the older boy. “So now you need to cheat to win, Seungkwan?”

“It’s not cheating. A basketball player always checks his surroundings,” Seungkwan passes the ball back to him. “I’ll give you a head start this time.” 

Chan was definitely going to give it his all.

*

Sweat rolled down both of their faces and Chan panted heavily, defending his goal. His legs were bouncing back and forth as Seungkwan was playing fakes left and right. 

They were tied and it was obvious Seungkwan looked distressed. 

Serves him right for being cocky.

Chan took the ball from Seungkwan, running past him like the flash and taking his chance to shoot. But just as he was about to, Seungkwan blocked him and stole the basketball back. Chan internally groaned, he was so close to winning, but so was Seungkwan, and he couldn't let him have the victory. 

They raced each other towards Chan’s goal, until Seungkwan was only seconds away from gaining his win. Chan jumped to get the ball but Seungkwan tricked him once again and sprinted around. Chan quickly caught up to him, though. 

“You’re too predictable,” Chan gasps, trying to catch his breath. 

Seungkwan smirks, “Am I?”

Suddenly, Seungkwan took a step forward, until they were only a few inches apart. Chan’s breath hitched in his throat and he stumbled back into the basketball hoop. Seungkwan crowded his personal space, leaning in close enough to the point Chan could feel him breathing down his neck. His heart picked up in pace and his eyes widened when he felt Seungkwan brush his fingers against his hip. 

“I win.”

Chan watched as Seungkwan jumped up and scored the final point, making him the winner.

“That was a fun game. You really did improve a lot,” Seungkwan gave him a genuine smile but Chan ignored it, pushing him away. 

“Oh please, that doesn’t count. You can’t just distract players during a game.”

Seungkwan shrugged, “It’s not my fault you let yourself get distracted.”

“Anyone would’ve been distracted!” Chan’s hands curled into fists. “Why can’t you just play fairly.”

“I did. There’s no rule in basketball that says I can’t flirt with my opponents.”

Chan was about to open his mouth and fire back a sarcastic remark until he processed Seungkwan’s words. “…Flirt?”

“Holy shit Chan, there’s no way you can be this oblivious,” Seungkwan scoffed. “You think I did that as your friend?”

Chan was too shocked and slightly embarrassed to understand what Seungkwan meant. His throat was dry and his heart was still racing and there was sweat dripping down his flushed face. Chan probably looked like a clown but he decided not to say anything, because at this point he doesn’t trust his own voice.

“You didn’t forget our little bet, did you?” Seungkwan once again took a step closer to Chan, both of them standing in their previous positions. “I won.”

“I think I’m going to pass out,” Chan admitted breathlessly. 

Seungkwan looked alarmed and bent down to grab the water bottle he brought with him. He offered it to Chan, who took it thankfully. Seungkwan watched him take a massive sip of water, and it made Chan choke a little, but he recovered quickly. “Okay… you win. I don’t care. But don’t be so proud of yourself. You cheated twice.”

For some reason, Seungkwan was quiet. Chan looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. “What? You want some water too?”

Seungkwan’s words came out hoarse as he whispered, “I want to kiss you.”

Chan’s vision blurred for a second before he nodded eagerly, dropping the water bottle and instead cupping Seungkwan’s face, pulling him close till their chests were pressed against each other and their lips were slotted so perfectly together. Seungkwan grabbed his waist, gripping hard as if he was afraid to let go. Chan made a noise at the back of his throat, almost knocking his head into the basketball hoop, but he was too far gone to care. Seungkwan’s lips were soft and his body was warm, he never wanted this moment to end.

*

“I think you should explain yourself.”

Seungkwan was glaring at the floor and Chan snorted. It was slightly awkward, probably because they had just got done making out for about five minutes straight. And now, both of them had been sitting on the benches for a few minutes, contemplating what had just happened. 

“What’s there to explain? I just had a sudden urge to kiss you.”

Seungkwan’s ears were glowing red and Chan’s face started to burn again from embarrassment. “I thought you hated me, you idiot.”

Once again, Seungkwan fell into a beat of silence. Then, he looked at Chan, eyes swirling with regret. “Yeah, I can understand why you’d think that.”

“Glad you’re not as dense as I thought you were,” Chan chuckled softly, trying to break the tension.

It worked; Seungkwan’s lips twitched into a small smile, bumping his shoulder with Chan’s. “Promise not to call me pathetic?”

“No promises.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Remember that day, we were in your room, and you told me that you had a crush on Vernon?” 

Chan raised both of his eyebrows instinctively. “You still remember that day?”

“It was the reason we drifted apart,” Seungkwan frowned. “Chan… I like you. ”

“Well—that much is obvious now ,” Chan turned his body so he was facing Seungkwan properly, expression sincere. “Wait. You avoided me for years just because I liked Vernon?”

“When you word it like that it makes me feel stupid!” Seungkwan whined, letting his head fall into his hands. 

“That’s because you are stupid!” Chan hit the back of his head playfully. “Do you know how hurt I was when you were so obviously avoiding me in highschool? I thought I did something wrong. I felt like I had no one.”

It was at that moment Seungkwan’s face morphed into complete guilt. He hesitated, before covering Chan’s hand with his own. “I’m sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, Chan. You didn’t deserve that.” 

Chan didn’t really know what to say. Seungkwan was being genuine, that much was evident, but he still couldn’t understand why Seungkwan didn’t just tell him—

“It’s because I couldn’t be friends with someone I knew I couldn’t have.”

Almost as if Seungkwan read his mind, he answered the question Chan was desperate to know. 

“There was a lot of miscommunication that I created between us and because of that, we drifted apart without you knowing anything. I’m really sorry, Chan. I wish I was smarter and I wish I told you sooner.”

Chan sighed, taking Seungkwan’s hands and squeezing them to comfort him. “Hyung, I’m just glad you told me. You were probably more hurt than I was, to be honest. Especially when I told you I liked someone else… and I understand what that feels like.”

Seungkwan smiled bitterly, knowing that Chan was talking about Vernon’s girlfriend. “Yeah. That didn’t give me a reason to be shitty to you, though. I should have just owned up to it, instead of blaming you.”

“True. I guess we were both losers?”

“No. It was my fault, Chan.”

“Maybe if I tried harder to talk about it with you—”

Seungkwan didn’t let him finish. He put a hand at the back of Chan’s neck and dragged him in for a short kiss. Chan relaxed in his embrace, letting his shoulders fall. “Hey, it’s okay. You couldn’t control something that I did. I'm sorry I made you feel that way.”

“If you say sorry again I swear I’ll kiss you until you forget how to say that word.”

Seungkwan flushed and raised both eyebrows, “Sorry.” 

Chan smiled at Seungkwan’s mischievous expression, leaning in again and kissing his best friend breathless. 

“About that bet,” Seungkwan pulled away, lips puffy and cheeks red. “I have something I want you to do.”

“What is it?” Chan said slowly.

“I want you to go on a date with me.”

Chan definitely didn’t expect the sudden invitation, and he giggled, “Of course, hyung.”

And that’s when Chan realised he completely forgot about his own exhaustion and homesickness. 

Seungkwan smiled, letting his hoodie slip off his shoulders and covering Chan with it. 

Most importantly, he didn’t feel as heartbroken as he was last week.

“Wait… what time is it?”

Seungkwan looked at his phone, before he froze. They both turned to each other with wide eyes.”

“We’re locked out of the dorms, aren’t we?”

It was totally worth it, though.