Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We're under a stormy sky,
Watchin' the clouds roll by.
But there'll be another dawn
To clear the storm away,
And we will be all right.

-Stormy Sky, The Kinks

April 29th, 1996

Remus was discharged the next morning, the doctor did a final check-up and gave him a set of instructions for his recovery that Remus was starting to dread: he had to wear a big cast and crutches for at least the next six weeks, he had to come to the hospital for regular check-ups and if something was bothering him any other day he should contact Madam Pompfrey. They gave him a couple of painkillers if his leg started to ache too much but the doctor guaranteed that 'it shouldn't be a problem'; he couldn't stand on his right leg, or walk long distances, doing sport or running was out of the question of course, and the cast must keep clean and dry at all times.

It sounded like the last weeks at Hogwarts would be deadly boring for him.

Besides that, Remus found himself completely lost. The initial anger from finding out the chapel had burned down disappeared; now he just felt defeated. His friends were right; they could do nothing, and that frustrated Remus.

When McGonagall and Madam Pompfrey came for him that morning, neither of them mentioned anything about it or even how the accident happened. They just gave him a set of clean clothes and helped him to the car. It was the first time Remus walked with crutches. He had broken a bone once before, many years ago, playing on the streets, but it had been his left arm. This was completely different.

The car ride was silent on his part. Madam Pompfrey kept casual conversation with the driver while Professor McGonagall shot him glances here and there from the rearview mirror. A couple of minutes passed, and finally, the castle could be seen in the distance. Remus felt relieved at the sight of Hogwarts. He was sad, full of pain, and tired... he just wanted to get to Lion and sleep in his bed until the next day.

But his plans were postponed, as he noticed the slim figure of Professor Dumbledore waiting for them at the door. The old man was standing there like he was casually going out for a stroll, hands on his back and a soft smile that gave Remus the creeps.

How can he be so calm after what happened last night? He thought.

"Mr. Lupin, welcome back," the headmaster smiled, his eyes tiny behind those awful moon-shaped glasses "Come on, you and I have a lot to talk about" The old man signed him with his head and walked into the Administration Building. Remus turned to Madam Pompfrey and McGonagall to see if they would be merciful enough to help him get out of there, but no. Both women stood beside the car, watching him carefully, like they knew he wanted to escape.

He sighed deeply and went inside the building. He peeked at a clock on the wall. His friends were probably in class, and in a couple of minutes, they would have Lunch. Oh, what he would give to be with them instead.

"Here, let's take the elevator to my office", Dumbledore directed. They walked to the left side of the lobby, near the telephones, and went under the stairs through a tiny hallway, and at the end, there was the small elevator. He didn't even know that was there.

An uncomfortable silence took place as they made their way up. Dumbledore was humming a song happily while Remus was considering throwing himself off the stairs so they could go back to the hospital and avoid the conversation.

They got to Dumbledore's office, and the director signed Remus to sit in front of his desk. He eyed the office quickly; it was the same as the last time he'd been there, but now he didn't have Sirius or James to back him up; he was all alone.

"Want a mint?" Dumbledore offered with half a smile.

"No, thanks", Remus muttered, teeth tight and palms sweaty.

"I wouldn't take one either, honestly. I prefer other types of candy, those that taste like apple, or orange, or even lemon, but Mrs. Greggs said that these were a healthy alternative, that too much sugar rots your teeth" Dumbledore chuckled. Remus wasn't amused at all.

"Uhm, why am I here?" he questioned before Dumbledore could get into another ramble about candy.

"Right, right!" Dumbledore smiled as he'd just remembered exactly why he'd called Remus "You see, Remus, running a school, it's like..." he looked at a little porcelain sheep he had over his desk and grabbed it "Being a shepherd..."

"Each one of the students is a sheep that's part of the herd, the shepherd protects each one of them, feeds them, and cares for their health and wellbeing", he continued. "Everything goes smoothly and according to plan if every one of the sheep listens and follows their shepherd. But of course, there are always some sheep that take adrift from the herd" Dumbledore looked at him pointedly "It begins with going a little bit further than the shepherd allows, then separating from the herd, then one time these rebellious sheep may find something that captures their attention, something like...let's say...nightshade. Very beautiful flowers with berries that might seem appetising for the sheep. They might eat one or two ripe ones, and nothing happens. They go back to the herd and sleep peacefully."

"But what happens when each day that passes, they try another berry and then another one, and then one day they might ask themselves, how would the leaves taste?' and they try it. That night, they went to the herd with a little pain in their stomach, but nothing big to worry about. The shepherd warns them to stop eating the nightshade, but they continue anyway, and perhaps it doesn't kill the sheep directly, but it makes them sick," he said. "Then one night, wolves came to attack the herd, the other healthy sheep that listened to the shepherd make a run for it, but the sheep that ate the nightshade were too weak to run away, so the wolves capture them and kill them" Remus stared at the professor, trying to not show his anger or irritation to him. He didn't know what was worse: that Dumbledore seriously believed he was some good, powerful leader of some sort, or that he was comparing them all to some sheep that should follow everything he said.

"You understand, Remus?" Dumbledore questioned, with a grin that had a mixture of fake sympathy and superiority.

"Yes, sir", he uttered.

"There's a limit to what teachers can do. What I can do to keep you and Hogwarts safe, and I hope you and your friends know that and begin to respect that limit from now on" he instructed, gazing at him severely "You have to know I try to keep every one of my students safe, but if I have to sacrifice a couple of sheeps just to keep the others safe... I will"

"Yes, sir", Remus said between his teeth. He was beginning to feel like he was talking to a police officer.

"That means you have to stop getting into trouble. No investigating, no messing with things that should not be messed with, alright?" Dumbledore insisted.

"Yes, sir" The headmaster looked at him silently for a few seconds, as if he was trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not, then he leaned back and placed his hands over his lap.

"Alright then", he smiled ", then you can go back to your dorm, I imagine you are very tired" Remus nodded and got up, feeling defeated. He walked towards the door slowly, feeling the blood inside him bubble; his grip around the crutches was so tight his knuckles were beginning to turn white.

Before he walked out, he turned around and looked at Dumbledore. He didn't know where the strength or bravery had come from, but he said, "You all can try hiding what happened all you want, but I'll always know, we'll always know, and you can't escape that"

Dumbledore smiled softly, like he wasn't worried at all "Have a good day, Remus"

With that, he got out of the office and out of the Administration Building. Madam Pompfrey was already waiting for him at the door with a wheelchair. She pushed him to Lion and helped him go up the stairs to his room. Thankfully, everybody was still in class; it would have been too embarrassing for Remus. He was then left alone in his room. The first thing he did was grab everything he had from Olivia: her diary, her book, her necklace, the photos, and put them in a box, and shoved it under his bed angrily. There was nothing else to do.

He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and sat down on his bed. He lit one and took a hit. It felt heavenly after two, almost three, days of abstinence. Maybe he should think of quitting, but that will have to be for another time; now, he was just glad to be back in his bed. The only thing that was missing was his friends. He glanced at the clock now and then, checking when they would be back. About an hour later, the door burst open, James and Sirius rushing into the room.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed.

"McGonagall was right, you're back!" James followed and threw himself at him, hugging him, but really, he was just crushing him with his weight.

"He's back!" Sirius jumped over, beside James, also crushing him. He had James' neck under his nose and Sirius' hair all over his eyes, blocking his sight and smell at the same time.

"Moony!" Peter shouted before joining the other two over Remus.

"Oi, boys! Be careful!" he heard Marlene shout from the door.

"You're gonna hurt him", Lily added.

"That's right, we don't want another day without Moony," James said and pushed himself away from Remus, Peter following him, but Sirius decided to just roll over and lie on the empty side of his bed.

"Oh, it was horrible!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically, "Prongs only talked about Lily the whole day, and Wormy just wanted to show me chess tricks!"

"Hey!" Lily, James, and Peter cried at the same time. Remus laughed.

"What did the doctor say?" Mary asked, sitting at the end of the bed.

" 'm alright, just a broken tibia, that's all", he shrugged "have to walk with these bloody crutches for a month or so"

"Look at the bright side, you'll probably get to skip a lot of classes" Marlene smiled, sitting beside Mary.

"That's right", James grinned.

"And how've you been?" Sirius asked in a more grave tone, genuinely worried. His blue eyes were wide open, staring directly at him. Remus knew what he meant.

"I'm alright. You were right, there's nothing we can do now," he shrugged again. He decided not to tell them about his conversation with Dumbledore, at least not for now. He wanted to enjoy the moment with his friends.

"I'm really sorry, Remus," Lily said.

"It is what it is"

"I know, why don't we do something fun? Now that you're here. To forget all this bloody mess," James suggested, and the others agreed. They grabbed a card game and huddled around, Sirius put a record on, and James made tea for everyone. Even though he was angry and sad that nothing had gone as expected, he was at least grateful to continue to be alive.

May 25th, 1996

Doctors had warned him of the post-symptoms of a concussion, but he didn't think that it would be that big of a deal, not until the days began to pass. At the beginning, he had a couple of headaches here and there, dizziness, and even a bit of nausea when smelling certain foods. He thought it was normal and eventually would get back to his usual self. But then he started to feel a little bit...off. He found himself getting annoyed at the smallest of things; it could be that his boot didn't get into his foot fast enough or that he could hear the boys in the room beside them talking -something that all year was normal to him- and interrupted his sleep every night.

Then he noticed he was repeating himself to the boys more and more. "Yes, you already told us that, Moony", the other three would say several times throughout the week, making him more embarrassed as the time went by. Then what finally sent him over the edge was that in those weeks, trying to read any book or study for any test had become an impossible task. Something that he could easily do before was really hard now. He could spend half an hour on just one page, just because he didn't understand the text, or he couldn't concentrate. He felt the words jumped inside his brain from one side to the other, making a soup of scrambled words that didn't make much sense. The letters moved when he tried to read each word, and a noise that really wasn't there interrupted the thoughts inside his brain every time he tried to concentrate.

He was getting annoyed and irritated, and the others were noticing too. His temper was shorter than before, and he would yell at anyone who tried to talk even a decibel louder than necessary. He didn't know if it was the stress of the exams that he couldn't even study for, the constant headaches, the little to zero sleep he was getting or everything combined, but Remus wanted to punch something and then himself.

To make matters worse, he couldn't even go to classes for those first couple of weeks. At first, that would've seemed like something great.

"You're so bloody lucky", Sirius had said one morning as he walked out to go to class while Remus stayed in bed.

But in reality, it was not. He tried to relax, enjoy that time to himself, but it was useless; his mind was playing against him, and what he needed was a distraction, not more time alone. He tried to come out of his room several times and go down at least to the Common Room, so he could talk to somebody, anybody; but somehow Frank would always be there and told him to go back to his room (he said he didn't want to be responsible of the recovery of an ill student had gone wrong under his watch).

He cleaned his room, smoked like a chimney and even started to count how many crows he could spot by the window (an average of six each day he noticed). He would be alone with his thoughts the entire day, which was something terrible. The only salvation he had was when the night came and all the classes and activities were finished, the three other boys would come to join him in his room, and tell him what had happened in class or what new gossip was brewing in the halls, and Remus would get so entertained after hours of being alone he would feel high, not wanting it to end.

His friends. They were the only thing that made him kind of happy those days. James kept looking over him like a worried mother, making sure he had everything he needed, asking him over and over again how he felt and if he wanted any help. He even went several times to Madam Pompfrey to ask her for medicine for his headaches, but the woman told him he just needed rest and the headaches would disappear on their own. Remus wasn't so hopeful.

The girls would visit him whenever they could, bringing him sweets and chocolate. Peter even drew a beautiful picture of a wolf on his cast, and the others signed around it. Who surprised him the most was Sirius. It wasn't that Remus thought Sirius wouldn't help him if needed, but he thought of the boy to be a little bit more self-absorbed than Peter or James, who would help even if not asked. He didn't expect him to help him walk to the bathroom every time he needed or be on alert every time he took a shower, or those couple of days where Sirius would skip class with the excuse of making him some company. Even though Remus believed the older boy didn't mind missing classes at all, it was equally beneficial for both of them.

So yes, maybe Remus was going crazy, maybe his head ended up more fucked up than before, but at least he had his friends, and good ones there were.

Finally, at the end of week two, he went to the hospital and the doctor told him he could go to classes. Remus had never been so happy to go to classes in his life. When he stepped foot in the Dining Hall that next Monday morning, he felt a rush that made him want to explode with emotion. Several people came to him, asking how he was and what had happened. He brushed them off, telling them it was just an accident while playing a prank with the Marauders. Caradoc and Benjy came by his table and greeted him happily, and Victoria stopped him in the halls with a horrified face.

"But will you be able to compete next year?" she'd asked over and over.

"I don't know", Remus shrugged. He truly didn't know if he would be able to, but he also didn't think he wanted to join the Track team again anyway.

Even Flynn and Xeno appeared that day at Lunch, offering him some weed to 'ease the pain, ' and who was he to deny some free weed?

Although it was hard walking everywhere with the heavy crutches and some days his leg hurt so much he wanted to cut it off, it was nice to go back to his normal routine.

The finals were just around the corner as well, so every student in Hogwarts was feeling the stress and desperation of exam season; and Remus was kind of grateful for that, even with the hardships he was still facing thanks to the concussion; it kind of helped him forget everything that had happened and distract him from the fact the there was still a dead body under Hogwarts' grounds.

That Saturday evening, the seven of them were all gathered in the Library, studying for the Math final, since it was one of the only classes they all had together. The place was packed with students, so they had to cram into one table; it was total chaos.

"Marlene, can you give me a pencil? Mine broke," Sirius yelled from one end of the table. The blond girl threw the pencil across, and the boy caught it in the air.

"Pete, did you grab my practice sheet?" James asked, scattering all of his pages over the table.

"Let me see", the other boy began to search in his own messy pile.

"Lils, can you explain this thing to me? I'm totally lost," Mary asked while Lily was hunched over Remus, trying to finish another Math problem.

"Yes, just give me a minute," the redhead said, clearly stressed ", this can't be..." she muttered, looking at the paper in front of them. Remus was watching her do the math problem when he was hit on the head with a paper ball. He looked over to the other people at the table, but they were all concentrated on their own thing. He carefully looked again and saw the slightest grin on Sirius's mouth.

Tosser

He grabbed the paper ball and threw it over to Sirius, hitting him in the head.

"What was that for?" he asked innocently, but a chuckle caught between his words betrayed him completely.

"Be still, Pads", he scolded and went back to Lily and the problem. He felt another paper ball hit him, this time in the face. He snapped his head at Sirius and didn't think twice about throwing the ball back at him. Sirius laughed and immediately grabbed another one and sent it Remus' way.

"Stop", Lily warned without removing her eyes from the paper. Remus turned, trying to listen to the girl, but Sirius seemed to ignore her completely. He made two sets of paper balls and threw one at Remus and the other at James.

"Ey!" the other boy exclaimed. A small paper fight broke out between the three of them all of a sudden, sending paper balls all over the place and hitting the others in the way. But it only took Lily to raise her head and look at James gravely for the boy to pull back.

"Alright, lads, back to work," he said in a serious tone, but the corners of his mouth creased up in half a smile.

"It doesn't make sense", Lily grunted "I'm done", she threw her hands up and fell into the nearest chair.

"Ay, Rojita", James stood up and came over to her. He hugged her from behind, surrounded her shoulder with his arms, and kissed her cheek.

"Aww", Mary said. Remus turned to Marlene, and the girl made a face as if he was throwing up, making him laugh.

"It's alright, it's just a stupid problem", James comforted.

"It's not a stupid problem, it's literally the problem she said it would come on the test!" she cried, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Ya, ya", James brushed her arms softly.

"Lily?" A girl appeared behind some shelves.

"What?" the redhead grumbled, annoyed, and when she noticed it wasn't one of her friends, she opened her eyes widely and sat up straight "Oh, I'm sorry, tell me"

"Mrs. Greggs told me to tell you that you have a call", the girl said before walking away.

"Oh?" Lily frowned and stood up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" James hurried to say.

"Sure", the girl nodded, looking a little bit shaken.

"I'll go too, 'wanna smoke anyways", Remus commented.

"I'll go as well", Sirius stood up, stretching his arm wide "I'll steal a cigarette from you, Moony"

"Of course you will", Remus rolled his eyes. He put on his jacket, helped himself with the chair, and then grabbed his crutches to follow the couple. They went outside and walked to the Administration Building. James and Lily entered, while Remus and Sirius waited outside.

"I promise next year I'll buy you all the cigarettes that your heart desires," Sirius said with a cheeky grin as Remus took out his cigarettes and lighter.

"I'll believe that when I see it", Remus commented sarcastically and put a cigarette in his mouth, giving another to Sirius.

Sirius lit his cigarette and gave him back the lighter "You don't trust me?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I do, when you're telling the truth," he joked back. He went to light his cigarette, but it was difficult having to hold the crutches under his arms while his hands were busy lighting the cigarette, all with only one leg supporting his weight.

"Here, let me help ya" Sirius took the lighter from his hands so he could use them to hold the crutches. He came closer to him and lit the fire. Remus used his left hand to hold the cigarette in his mouth and into the fire, while his right hand held the crutch of his bad leg "And I always tell the truth, Moony" They were so close Remus could smell Sirius' minty breath and expensive cologne. The tip of the cigarette turned orange, so he took a hit and looked at the other boy.

"I doubt that," Remus snorted.

"I do!" Sirius laughed and then took a hit, his smoke mixed with Remus'.

"Do I have to remind you...?" Remus looked at him pointedly.

"Alright, but that wasn't lying, it's only that I... wasn't telling the whole truth", Sirius excused ", but that wasn't lying"

"If you say so," Remus rolled his eyes with half a smile and turned his face to the building.

"Please, believe me" Sirius got his face closer, so he could cover Remus' entire vision field "Please, Moony", he breathed, so low and raspy it sent electricity to his entire body. He froze, looking at Sirius. He didn't know why his body had responded that way, but it felt weird and good at the same time.

"Alright, I believe you, now sod off", he pushed the other boy away, and Sirius chuckled, but really Remus was relieved he was far away now. He'd seen Sirius and James do that several times before, getting closer to each other until one of them got uncomfortable just for the sake of annoying each other. He'd laughed before, but now that Sirius had done it to him, Remus didn't find it funny, not one bit.

Remus noticed Sirius staring at him as they smoked. He frowned a little bit, and the older boy opened his mouth to talk, but they were interrupted by James running out of the Administration Building and yelling at them.

"Moony, Moony! You need to come right now!" he said, desperately. Remus and Sirius shared a look and threw their cigarettes away, walking up to James.

"What happened?" Remus asked.

"Is Anabella Caelkirk?" James explained in a low voice as they entered the building. Remus' eyes opened widely.

"Isn't that...?" Sirius began.

"Olivia's friend, yes" his throat had gone dry as they walked toward the phones.

"Oh! Here he is, I'll pass you on to him," Lily said softly before handing him the telephone.

Remus took a deep breath and swallowed before talking, "Hello?"

"Are you Remus?" a female voice wondered on the other side of the line. Goosebumps ran all over his body, and the little hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

"Ye-yes, I am"

"You are Lily's friend...the one who was looking at Liv's story" Remus' heart skipped a beat.

"Yes, it was me" A silence grew between them. Remus looked at his friends, and the three of them were expectant and curious.

"So-?"

"We found her", Remus hurried to say, he didn't know why. A deep sigh was heard on Anabella's part, and Remus instantly regretted saying anything.

"Whe-where did you find her?" her voice cracked.

"Uhm...under the old chapel," Remus saw how Lily opened her eyes widely, realising what they were talking about.

"Of course..." she whispered.

"But...erm...it was burnt down before we could get her out of it", he explained cautiously.

Another silence. A sob from her part. Remus didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry", it was the only thing he could say.

"So she was at Hogwarts this entire time", Anabella said in a shaky voice.

"Yes"

"Oh, she hated it there", she sniffed ", we were best friends, you know?"

"Yes, yes, I know, we found her diary", he paused "she called you Bee, right?"

"Yes, she did," she hummed "so you know what happened then"

"Well, just some parts, a lot of pages were missing in the diary. I just know that there were some mean kids, and well...that at some point, both of you fell out" Remus heard Anabelle sobbing again.

"Yes, yes", she cried "I was a horrible friend" Remus looked at Lily desperately for help. The redhead got closer to him, trying to hear the telephone too.

"It's all my fault"

"Oh, Mrs. Caelkirk, don't say that", Lily tried to comfort her.

"No, but it is. Nothing of this would've happened if it wasn't for me," she sighed deeply and cleared her voice before speaking again "Liv and I started being friends when she got to Hogwarts in Year 7, thanks to a scholarship. She was one of the first kids to get to Hogwarts with a scholarship, y'know?. We did everything together, we didn't exist without the other, we completed each other in every aspect" She paused, and Lily made a sign so James and Sirius got closer to hear as well "That was until we got older and I started to get interested in guys and typical teenagers' stuff, y'know? But Liv wasn't like that, and we started to grow apart"

"Things only got worse when I started going out with this guy, John was his name, and started hanging out with him and his lot. They were kind of...mean, especially with scholarship students," Anabella continued "But at the time, I was so blinded by love and attention that it didn't matter, and I brought those awful people to my life, and Olivia's life as a result" She paused. "Liv and I would constantly get in fights about it. She would tell me that I was changing for the worse and that John and his friends were bad influences, but I wouldn't hear her. And then I made the mistake of telling John all of this, and he went to her. They fought, and Olivia tried to make me wake up, but I was so stupid that I backed John and his friends all the way, starting to treat Olivia like they did. Then one night, out of nowhere, she woke up and left her bedroom, and nobody heard from her again," she sobbed. "People speculate that she had escaped and killed herself; she had all the signs, and I believed so until about a year later. I was still with John, and I noticed some comments from him and his friends that were suspicious, then they started to spend a lot of time together in their dorms and after classes"

"The Death Eaters, I read that in her diary", Remus remembered.

"Yes, I think that's what they called themselves", Anabella said, her voice had changed from a sad tone to an angry one "I confronted John about it, but he denied everything and ended up breaking up with me. I tried talking to other people about this, but everybody would tell me it was part of the grief I was feeling since we were so close. It was frustrating. I tried to investigate things for myself, but it led me nowhere, and then I just gave up eventually"

"So you think they have to do with her death?" Remus asked, feeling like he was at the edge of a cliff.

"I can't say for sure, we were kids, y'know, yeah, they were mean, but I don't know if they could end up with somebody's life..." Anabella sighed, "But I do think they had to do something with her disappearance" A silence rose between them. Remus tried to take in everything he'd just heard.

"I wish we could do anything else...we had it but...somebody took the evidence away", Lily said mournfully.

Anabella made a sour laugh "Hogwarts has always been like that, but I'm glad someone cared enough to try it. Thank you to all of you," Remus looked at the others, and they all had half smiles on their faces.

"I wish we could do more", he confessed.

Anabella seemed to be thinking about it for a second, then she spoke again, "You said you had her diary"

"Yes, and her locket...and a book and some old photos", Remus confirmed.

"If I gave you an address, could you be so kind as to send it all to me?" she asked carefully, like she was afraid Remus was going to say no. And he thought about it, what if later they found out something else, and they needed to go back to that evidence, it could be crucial. But no, he told himself, it was over, like everyone else had said; there was nothing else to do. It was better to give her all of Olivia's things. It could give the old woman some closure, perhaps.

"Yes, of course", he agreed. She gave them her address and before she could say goodbye Remus interrupted her "D'you think you could tell us their names?...of the Death Eaters I mean" They had one, Tom Riddle, but if he could have the others perhaps he could track them down or at least investigate to know where they were now, without telling his friends, of course. He knew neither of them really approved of extending this investigation any further.

"I could try and send you a list, but only after you give me Olivia's things", she bargained. Remus could tell she wasn't comfortable doing it.

"Alright"

"You kids have to be careful about this. Be careful who you tell about this, and who might be hearing," She warned, and Remus started to feel weird in his stomach. She finally said goodbye and quickly hung up.

The four of them walked out of the Administration Building in silence, each one of them probably analysing everything that Anabella had said. If what Anabella said was true, Olivia and she had fought because of a boy, and that boy was probably the catalyst to whatever the Death Eaters had done to her, something that directly or indirectly caused her death. It made Remus sick to his stomach thinking that if that was how the story ended, Olivia had suffered all throughout her last moments.

"We have to tell the others", James broke the silence, and the three of them just replied with a nod, as they walked back to the Library. Remus just hoped that Anabella stuck to her promise and gave them the names.

June 14th, 1996

As time went by, Remus started to think that the list of names Anabella promised would never arrive. They had done their part, mailing Olivia's things to her. But as the week passed, there was never another call or a letter in either of their mailboxes. Remus was mad about it, but then again, he could do nothing about it. At least Olivia's things were in a better, safer place now.

The last weeks at Hogwarts were filled with the stress of the last exams. The halls of the castle were packed with students revising for their tests, reading over and over again some book, or crying with desperation. The smell of coffee and anxiety followed you everywhere you went, and it only seemed to motivate the teachers more than anything.

They all had been studying the entirety of those last couple of weeks, and since James still couldn't play and Remus could barely walk, Sirius had no other choice but to study with them; also, Lily would scold any of them if they preferred to go do anything else. So, in result, if Remus wasn't away at the hospital for his regular checks, he was at the Library or the Common Room studying for the next exam. And it was all worth it; he passed all his exams, even French. Although D'Vaux gave him a C, it was still a win for him. He only wished it all would add up to a positive grade so he wouldn't have to see the grumpy teacher next year.

After the English exam, Professor Indigo pulled him aside, waiting for all of the other students to get out before speaking:

"Remus, how did you find the exam?" the teacher asked, starting to organise his papers for his departure.

"Uhm, alright, professor", Remus muttered, a little bit nervous; he didn't understand why he got so nervous whenever the teacher talked to him. It was maybe because he was scared to say something he shouldn't and mess up the only good relationship he'd ever had with a teacher.

"Good, good...so what are you doing this Summer? Reading, writing?" Indigo questioned.

"Oh, I dunno" Back at the orphanage, his only chance to read was from the old books from Waterfront's little library -where most of them were missing half of their pages thanks to the boys- or stealing new ones -and the last time he did that it didn't end up so well.

"Well, if you want, I could lend you some books of mine" the professor said and immediately started taking out a couple of books from his suitcase "perhaps this way you could have some adventures in your mind without taking them outside and hurting yourself" he looked at his leg pointedly and Remus felt his face getting hot.

"I-" he stuttered, ashamed ", I can't take this professor"

"Why?" Indigo asked, half mad, like he was offended that Remus wouldn't accept the books he was giving to him. Remus didn't answer; he didn't have a good answer, really. Professor Indigo sighed and laughed a little bit before speaking again "Remus, I know how it feels to have nothing" he began, shaking his head" to be surrounded by your friends who have it easier than you, who can have entire library and instead be stuck with the same three old books all Summer" Remus pressed his lips together, feeling more embarassed as the seconds passed "I do this out of a place of what I would've wanted some teacher to do when I was younger, so please accept them" he pushed the books from one end of the desk to the other "read them, and if you don't like them you can give them to me when you come back next year, because you're coming back, right?" Indigo questioned, and now there were two questions that Remus didn't know the answer to.

Perhaps he would come back, perhaps not. Perhaps he would be thrown in jail over the Summer, perhaps they would find a new student to give them the scholarship, somebody who deserved it more than he did. Somebody who didn't get in trouble every day, who wasn't always in such a nasty mood, somebody who didn't care to overthrow whatever regimen they had there at Hogwarts.

But he wanted to go back. He wanted to see his friends again, he wanted to get all those nights in the Common Room with the boys and the other Gryffindors playing cards or listening to music, he wanted those Library sessions with Lily and the girls, where they gossip and he pretended to not care while he did his homework but later would tell the other Marauders; he wanted to get back to that delicious food that kept his belly full for all those months, he never had the chance to get so many delicacies; he wanted those Football games, even if he wasn't the biggest fan of the sport; he wanted to go back to the infamous parties at Lion. He wanted to go back to Lily, Marlene and Mary. He wanted to get back to James, Peter and Sirius. What would the Marauders be without all four together? Even if that meant being stuck at Waterfront all Summer, so he stayed out of trouble, he was set to do it. He'll stay in his best behaviour just so he can be back at Hogwarts that September.

"Yes", he answered.

"Well, then there's nothing to worry about", Indigo smiled "Besides, I'll surely be your English professor on Year 12, and maybe, or maybe not -don't tell anyone- you'll already have advantage over your classmates with these" he winked at him "just make sure to choose English next year"

"I'll make sure" Remus guaranteed, taking the books and putting them into his saddle "I'll tell you how the books were after Summer break, professor" he didn't know where he got the courage to drift apart of the 'prescribed script' he had in his mind while talking to the teacher, but it seamed like the other man liked it.

"I'm counting on it", Indigo beamed "Have a good Summer, Remus"

"You too, sir", he said before walking out of the classroom as fast as he could, but not as fast, so it seemed weird in front of Professor Indigo, of course.

It was finally the last Friday, joy and relief could be felt in the air, and what everyone was thinking and talking about was the parties that would be held in each of the houses that night (Hogwarts tradition, of course). James and Sirius had been buzzing since the morning because of it, talking about how it should be the party of the year, and how they should close with a prank since they haven't done one in some time.

"D'you think Lily is going to agree with that?" Remus asked.

"Oh, Moony, it's not like we're gonna set Slytherin on fire, it's just a little prank, we'll keep it in Gryffindor if you're too worried", James guaranteed.

"And why would Lily have to find out? We'll just not tell her!" Sirius added with a snort.

"Lying to your girlfriend?" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Just not telling her the whole truth", James smiled innocently, and Sirius looked at Remus pointedly.

He rolled his eyes, "I forgot you both are the same bloody person"

"We seriously need to find you a girl, Moony, you're a killjoy sometimes", Sirius taunted, and Remus threw a piece of chicken at his hair "You fucking tosser!"

Remus laughed and turned to James, ignoring all of Sirius's insults, "and what are you planning anyway?"

"That'll be a surprise", James grinned, his dimples showing on either side of his mouth.

"I don't like how that sounds" Remus looked at Peter for some backup, but the boy seemed as lost as he was.

"Don't worry, Moony, if someone gets harmed, it'll probably be us", Sirius guaranteed.

"That doesn't make it one bit better", Remus pinched the bridge of his nose "Pete?"

"I'll tell Madam Pompfrey to be ready", he shrugged, and Remus ran his hand over his face. They were lost causes.

As they made their way through Godric Campus, they spotted Lily talking to Snape outside of Scarlet.

"Prongs, isn't that...?" Sirius began with a scowl.

"Por Dios", the other boy sighed tiredly ", him again? Does he not get tired? He had seen her every day of the bloody week; she even missed our date on Saturday because she'd told him she would study with him"

"Yeah, we know," Remus said. Things had been peaceful about the whole Snape thing for a while, but since the girl had left James for his friend, the other boy had remembered why they had been fighting for years all of a sudden.

"You've said that about a thousand times now, mate", Sirius added.

"I know, but...ugh!" he groaned ", I don't know why she's his friend"

"He's a proper creep that one", Sirius nodded.

"C'mon", James signed them as he hurried to where Lily and Snape were.

"Prongs don't do anything stupid, remember Lily", Remus warned.

"I won't, I won't" James shook his head "I just wanna say hi to my girlfriend"

When the redhead and the Slytherin boy saw them coming towards them, their expressions changed immediately. Lily wore one of worriedness, eyeing Snape and James, and the other boy squinted his little eyes like he was disgusted only by the sight of them.

"Hey, you", James greeted with a smile, only looking at the girl.

"James!" she said, surprised, still glancing between the two boys.

"So, are you prepared for tonight?" he asked.

"Of course, wouldn't miss it", Lily said, and Remus noticed how Snape rolled his eyes at this.

"You can come too if you want" James turned to Snape with a smile that, if Remus didn't know James' feelings for the other boy, looked truthful.

"I'd rather put knives into my eyes", Snape blurted out.

"Sev!" Lily scolded.

"Unnecessarily graphic..." Sirius commented, and Peter snorted.

"It's alright, I know Slytherins are doing their own thing, as always", James mentioned with half a smile.

"Well, if you all excuse me, I need to get into my room to prepare for tonight" Lily smiled at their friends and took one step before James pulled her by her hand and kissed her passionately in front of Snape. The other boy looked away immediately, cheeks turning red. When they pulled away, the girl smiled and walked away, looking at Snape on her way like she'd just remembered something.

"You don't have to pretend you like me just for her to like you", Snape spat, staring at James.

"I know, but she would want us to get along" James cleared his throat. His tone reminded Remus more of an adult than the usual kid-like James.

"I don't like you"

"Me neither, but for her, I'll do anything, and she knows it" he shrugged "It's more than she could say for you, I bet"

Snape squinted his eyes at James and stepped forward threateningly. James didn't move a muscle "You both will be away all summer, and guess who'll be with her the entire time, Potter?" he scoffed.

James smirked and stepped forward, closer to Snape "And guess what, Snivellus? She still would prefer me." Snape's jaw tightened, his eyes shifted around, and then he stepped away, walking rapidly far from there.

"Bye, Snivellus," Sirius said with a high voice.

"Lily seriously needs to drop him immediately," James said.

"Or give him some shampoo", Remus commented mindlessly. Sirius cackled at this.

"See Moony, you can be fun sometimes!" Remus pushed him, and this only made Sirius laugh more.

"But his right, y'know? They live like a minute from each other, they'll be together all Summer while I'm stuck in Liverpool and Devon" James' confident expression changed to a worried one.

"Prongs, don't let that slimy git get to your head. She likes you, you said it, that's all that matters," Sirius comforted, patting his back as they walked to Lion.

"Also, think that all of the previous summers nothing has happened between them, why would this one change?" Remus reasoned.

"I know, but only knowing that that tosser will spend more time with Lily than me makes me ill" James made a face.

"Prongs, look at me" Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders "You're letting him win, don't think about that. Let's enjoy our last day together, then you can call or write me all you want about how you miss Lily, and I'll make you laugh so you forget it. I'll sacrifice my sanity and time for you, alright? That's how good a friend I am"

"Sod off", James laughed and pushed Sirius away.

"See! It's working already!" Sirius grinned.

"Alright, alright, c'mon Pete, we have to finish packing", James signed to the shorter boy, and they went to their room.

Sirius and he entered theirs as well. Sirius went to his side and put a record on. Their trunks were opened in front of their bed. The room seemed a lot spacious without all of their stuff scattered around, it gave Remus the realisation that he was really going away, back to Watergate all Summer, and he won't see any of his friends in all that time. It filled him with a heaviness in his chest that went up his throat, making a knot that wouldn't go away. He fought these feelings; he didn't want the others to see him crying over that. He was making a fuss about something so little that they all were probably used to it by now. Only that Remus had never had enough friends to miss.

"Want me to help ya'?" Sirius asked as he saw Remus picking up a book from the floor, one arm holding a crutch and his healthy leg holding all of his weight.

"It's alright, you seem a bit behind", Remus pointed out, looking at Sirius's clothes still on his cupboard and his record player -as well as his records- on the table.

"I don't mind it", Sirius said as he hurried to pick up Remus' books from the floor "It's more interesting to look at your stuff anyway", he glanced at his old copy of Dostoyevsky's White Nights.

"You've only packed half of your desk" Remus sat down on his bed; his leg was hurting a bit, but he wouldn't tell Sirius.

"I'm quick, I'm used to it", he shrugged and carefully put all the books in the trunk, as if they were the most precious belongings on Earth.

Sirius was clearly delaying packing up; he hadn't even mentioned going home. For him, it seemed like the school year continued even when all the exams were finished. Remus knew better and wouldn't point it out.

"Right, Sirius Black is used to travelling all around the globe, I bet," Remus said sarcastically.

Sirius snorted, "I wish, I've travelled quite a lot, yes, but never someplace I'm interested in like New York or Los Angeles or Japan"

"I've never been on a plane", Remus confessed, not really knowing why; the last thing he wanted was pity.

"It's alright, just like a train but with a little bit more movement and your ears pop 'cause of the pressure" Sirius now was trying to fit all of Remus' textbooks into the trunk ", quite annoying if you ask me"

"I've only ever travelled from Wales to London and then London to here", Remus was trying to keep his hands busy with anything; thankfully, he found a loose thread on his sweater to play with.

"Right, your parents were from Wales", Sirius recalled, and Remus nodded.

"Me too, but I don't have an accent anymore"

"I know, now you are full cockney now", Sirius joked.

"Better than having a posh accent, a bit more and you're eating biscuits with the Queen", Remus teased.

"Let me remind you, I'm French, we hate the monarchy there" Sirius raised his chin playfully.

"Right, liberté, égalité, fraternité and all that rubbish", Remus rolled his eyes.

"Your French is starting to sound really good, see!" Sirius said, jokingly clapping, Remus tossed him a pillow that just made him laugh more.

"But really, is there anywhere that you want to go?" he asked.

Remus thought about it for a moment and then shrugged, "I don't know, I guess going to Los Angeles would be nice"

"Right?!" Sirius yelled excitedly, "Imagine walking down the street and just running up to the Guns N' Roses or the Eagles, or any TV star" Remus chuckled at his excitement.

"I could say the same thing about central London, just walk some streets from my place, take the metro, and boom Robert Plant with some bird drinking a pint midday", Remus commented playfully, but then noticed a shade of realisation in Sirius' face.

"Right, you're going back to the orphanage, right?" he wondered. The question burned Remus like acid. They had been so good at avoiding those kinds of talks all year; why did it have to be right at the end when they were having so much fun?

"Uhm, yes", he cleared his throat, trying to play it cool ", but y'know...I'm used to it"

"But you'll come back next year, right?" Sirius asked almost threateningly. Remus stared at him for a bit.

"Yes", again, he didn't know if this was true.

"Promise me, Moony," Sirius breathed, face stern but eyes full of worry.

"I promise you, Pads," he replied, even if he didn't know he could keep his promise. Sirius visibly relaxed and turned to the trunk again, his eyes widened as he spotted something in it.

"Are these spliffs?" Sirius shook the plastic bag with the stash Xeno and Flynn had given him.

"Yes, but there are not for you" Remus stood up and tried to grab them, but Sirius was quicker -and also had two healthy legs.

"Give me one, please", Sirius pleaded "We can share"

"Pads, you owe me a lot of spliffs and cigarettes already, what tells you I would give you more?" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Because you're my friend, and you're nice", Sirius smiled innocently "Besides, I told you a thousand times, I'll pay you back. Look, next year we'll finally be allowed to go to Hogsmeade, then I'll buy you as many fags, spliffs, and pints as you want, deal?" Remus stared at Sirius's eyes, which sparkled with mischief and something else. Something that was no good.

"I'm gonna regret this", he rolled his eyes "Deal" Sirius screeched with excitement and was ready to take one spliff out of the bag, but Remus took it back "But wait until tonight, alright?"

"Alright, tonight it is", Sirius accepted with a defeated smile.

They finished packing Remus' things, and then Sirius went down to the Common Room with James and Peter to help the Year 13 boys organise the place for the party that evening. As the night rolled in, so did the people, the Common Room getting fuller and fuller by people each minute that passed, the music was loud but not louder than the conversations and laughter of the finally free students.

Remus made his way down carefully, and when he was on his last step, he stumbled on Woods and Diggory, both of whom had flushed cheeks and a sparkle in their eyes that told Remus they had been drinking since earlier than anyone in that room.

"Oi! Don't be rude, make some space for Lupin here!" Woods yelled at some younger Gryffindors stalling at the end of the stairs; the group listened immediately and moved away with fear.

"It's alright," Remus told them as he stepped down.

"Look, Lupin...since you're friends with Potter...you-need-to-make-sure..." Diggory began, stumbling in his words, "he carries our legacy on the team, alright?" he pointed at Remus with his finger, totally serious.

Remus chuckled, "Alright"

"You need to make sure that our future kids can enjoy Gryffindor being the best team when they come to Hogwarts, too," Woods added.

"Or they can see their dads on the biggest teams in the UK", Remus said, and the two older guys looked at each other with a knowing smile.

"Oh no, our football careers end here, Lupin, we're headed to bigger things now", Woods said, and Remus frowned, not understanding.

"Why?"

"None of our parents would approve of that kind of career path, of course" Diggory laughed like it was some joke "I'm headed to Oxford and this tosser right here to Imperial", he grabbed Woods by the back of his neck and rubbed his head roughly, making a mess of his hair.

"Fuck off", Woods chuckled and pushed Diggory away, getting off his grip ", that or King's College", he added, fixing his jersey.

"So none of you want to be the next Robbie Fowler then?" he asked curiously.

"What we want versus what our parents have prepared for us is completely different", Woods shrugged with half a smile as if it was a sad fact that he had already accepted.

"And at the end, they have the money" Diggory took a sip from his beer.

"I think if any has a better chance to become a future Premier League player, it's your mate Potter, given that his dad is the Fleamont Potter" Woods raised his eyebrows with a huge grin.

"Yeah..." Remus knew from Sirius that most kids at Hogwarts had their entire futures figured out thanks to their parents and families. Either they inherited their family business or were easily introduced into some big company thanks to their contacts.

"So you watch out for Hogwarts' only opportunity at a successful football career, eh?" Diggory warned with a grin.

"Of course", Remus nodded, feeling sad for the two boys. He wondered how many kids had passed Hogwarts with big dreams of their own and were shut down because of their parents. He then wondered how many did what Sirius wanted to do and escape their fate, and how many did succeed at that. He didn't know if he wanted to find out, really; the numbers were probably discouraging.

Well, in the end, at least those kids had futures; it was a lot better than not having a promising future at all, like him.

He didn't want to think about it.

"Good boy", Diggory patted his back, and the two older guys walked away.

Remus scanned the room quickly for one of his friends; if he stayed alone for too long, his own mind was going to start playing tricks against him. He also glanced around, looking for James and Sirius, trying to see what secret prank they had planned that they couldn't tell him or Peter, but he couldn't find them. He finally spotted the girls entering the Common Room. The three of them looked very pretty with their makeup and fancy outfits.

"Hey", he greeted them with a smile.

"Oh, I'm gonna miss this", Mary cried while looking around.

"Mary, we're going to Summer vacation, not graduating", Marlene recalled.

"I know, but this year has been amazing, and it went by so fast!" Mary moaned.

"It was the most random year of my life. I came into it hating James Potter and finished it being his girlfriend, who would've thought?" Lily pointed out, and the other two girls looked at her severely.

"I called it out like two years ago, Lils", Marlene said.

"It was so obvious, too," Mary added.

"I hate you two so much", Lily groaned, but a small smile escaped onto her lips.

"Hey! You're here!" James yelled, arriving at the conversation, Sirius and Peter behind him.

"Moony, why don't you tell us you'd come down!" Sirius protested. Remus could smell a little bit of alcohol on him already.

"I just came down", Remus explained softly.

"You ladies want a drink?" James offered, surrounding Lily's shoulder with his arm.

"Sure," they all said.

"I'll get you a pint, Moony", Sirius said before Remus could even open his mouth and joined James in the kitchen for the drinks.

They all talk for a while and slowly spread around the room. Remus found Caradoc and Benjy and stayed with them, hearing their conversation as he drank and stared around the room. He saw the football team, Diggory and Woods among them, of course, playing to see who could drink beer faster; on the other side, he saw Frank and Alice lost in their own world. He saw Hazel and Victoria, each with their respective group of friends. Marlene and Mary whisper to each other and look around, probably gossiping. Peter with his chess friends. James and Lily were nowhere to be seen, which Remus expected, honestly. And Sirius...

Remus saw Sirius walking nearby with the hand of some new girl, probably his date for the night. Remus suddenly felt the need to annoy him a bit, maybe thanks to the several pints he had drunk in the last hour. He tugged his jacket, and the older boy turned around, confused.

"So where's that prank that you and James had been planning?" Remus' words came out a little bit slurred.

"Oh", Sirius glanced around, like the question was annoying him. This startled Remus a little bit "Uhm, I don't know, James with Lily, so I guess the prank's cancelled" he shrugged, and Remus scowled. Sirius looked mad all of a sudden, and he didn't understand why.

"Did something happen?" he asked, confused.

"Leave it, Moony, we'll talk 'bout it tomorrow", Sirius waved dismissively and continued walking with his date. He wanted to jank Sirius' arm and make him tell him what happened.

Remus was left perplexed and a little bit angry. Why the change of attitude? Something surely happened between James and Sirius. But it had to be something bad for the best of friends to be mad at each other.

Sometime later, Remus saw James entering the Common Room with Lily by his side. He didn't look too happy either. It seemed like the redhead was trying to comfort him. Remus felt completely left out.

He was about to walk to them to ask James what happened when, suddenly, Sirius bolted toward James. They started yelling at each other angrily, and one second later, Sirius pushed James, and then James pushed him back. It was all happening so quickly that Remus could barely keep up. Lily was trying to separate them, but it was impossible. The two boys started tussling on the floor, and Remus hurried to the scene, as fast as his crutches let him. People were starting to leave whatever they were doing and huddled worriedly around the fight.

"James! Sirius! Leave it! Right now!" Lily yelled in distress.

"Oi! James! Sirius!" Remus screamed at them, but his voice blended with all the other yells trying to stop the two friends from killing each other.

James then pinned Sirius to the ground and started choking him.

Fuck.

Adrenaline rushed into Remus' body. Sirius was a big talker, but James was stronger than him, and that was a fact; he could easily kill him if not stopped.

"James, leave it, seriously!" Lily cried as she went to pull James apart, and Remus was about to jump to get Lily so the girl didn't get hurt and try to break them himself when he heard Sirius' laugh. She turned to him, confused, as well as everybody else who was there. James then turned to Lily and showed him a small gift box with a huge grin on his face. Lily was frozen in her spot.

"Surprise, Evans!" Sirius sang still under James. Lily quickly turned around and ran out of the room.

James' face went pale immediately, and he rushed behind the girl, "Lily, wait!"

"Oh, I think somebody didn't like that" Sirius sucked his teeth as the people started walking away.

"Was that your big final prank?" Remus questioned, annoyed.

"Yes," Sirius grinned proudly.

"It was shite"

"Oh, Moony, give me a break", Sirius jumped to his feet "It was so Prongs could give Lily his gift, he's been preparing this for weeks, we only needed a way to deliver it, and what better way than a prank?"

"And that was the best you two could come up with? You know she probably hates him now," Remus raised his eyebrows as he saw Sirius pulling his sweaty hair into a bun, the piercings on his right ear sparkling with the warm light of the Common Room.

"Well, it was a last-minute idea, ok?" Sirius raised his arms.

"Figured", Remus rolled his eyes ", so what? All of that anger from before was part of the show?"

"Of course, I could never get mad with James", Sirius laughed "Also, you should've seen your face, you were so worried"

"Ha ha, so funny", Remus spat sarcastically as he walked to the kitchen. He opened another beer, and Sirius joined him, pouring himself a shot of Bourbon.

"You're gonna regret that tomorrow morning," Remus warned as he leaned back on the kitchen counter. Sirius drank it and made a face. He then poured himself another shot before taking the entire bottle to himself.

"What I'm gonna regret tomorrow is not having a last spliff with my mate if you don't give me one right now" Sirius smiled, pulling his face closer to Remus.

"You're drunk, Sirius, you don't need weed in your system" Remus looked at him severely.

"And who are you? My bloody mother?" Sirius chortled, "Also, I'm not drunk, not yet", he grinned. That wicked grin that he knew he could use to get away with anything he wanted, "so?"

Remus rolled his eyes once again, "C'mon, you insufferable prick"

"Yay!" Sirius celebrated, and they made their way up to their room.

Remus shuffled his things around the trunk, looking for the spliffs while Sirius put some music on his record.

"What should we play?" he hummed "I know! Some Kinks in honour of our friend Prongs, to his best of luck!" he laughed and placed the record on the player. Remus found the plastic bag after making a mess of his luggage and made a mental note to himself to put everything back into his trunk later.

"City women are a tease, but I'd really love to please!" Sirius sang as he danced to the window and opened it "And I'm livin' my life on the road. I said life on the road" Remus chuckled, looking at him and walked to the window. He took his lighter out of his jacket and two of the spliffs from the bag.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid," Remus told him with a serious tone before passing him the cigarette.

"Of course not, Moony", Sirius said with a tone that told Remus that perhaps he shouldn't have handed him a spliff.

He lit his first and then handed Sirius the lighter. He dragged from the cigarette and let out the thick smoke into the night sky. The moon was barely a line in the sky, meaning that the stars were shining brighter than ever, and a last cool breeze of Spring could be felt, announcing that very soon Summer would arrive with all its heat. They smoked in silence for some time. Sirius sitting across from him. Remus was starting to feel a little bit dizzy and lightheaded when Sirius spoke.

"I don't want to go back, Moony", he confessed, looking outside. Remus turned to him, trying to figure out if he had heard right or if his weed-induced brain had made it up.

"What?"

"I don't want to go to my parents'" Sirius looked at him; behind his blue-red rimmed eyes hid something like fear and sadness that Remus had seen a couple of times before, but Sirius was too good at hiding it. It finally came out again.

"They are an awful lot," Sirius added simply, like they were talking about football, and Remus nodded.

"I know" They stayed in silence for some seconds, and they both pulled from their spliffs before talking again.

"It's only three months, Pads, you can do it", Remus assured him, but Sirius shook his head at this with a sad smile.

"I don't know if I can anymore, don't you remember Winter Break?"

"Yes, I do" Of course, how could he forget the horror and anger he felt toward Sirius' parents? Who in their right mind did that to their child? Sirius was in all his right to not want to go back "Why don't you stay with James this year?"

Sirius scoffed, "I wish...I say I don't want to go back, but really there's no other alternative" he shrugged and dragged from the cigarette "I wish I could stay here forever instead" he leaned his head against the window and stared outside.

"Me too," Remus agreed, pulling from his spliff, almost finishing it.

"Just imagine it, Moons. You, me, here all year," Sirius smiled a little bit "You wouldn't have to go back to the orphanage, and I wouldn't have to see my parents again; it would be a dream"

"Yes... a dream..." but even under the influence, Remus knew it was not possible and that they were the words of a drunk and high Sirius.

"During the Summer we could stay here at Lion and watch TV as much as we want, without nobody interrupting us" Sirius turned around to him, excitedly, like his dream was a real possibility for both of them "you could have the Library all by yourself, and read how many books that you want without Mrs. Pince being a bitch, and I could use the Music room to play any music that I want, I could finally bring a real electric guitar!" Remus smiled a bit; it did sound ideal.

"And who exactly will cook? Or d'you s'pposed to live from cigarettes and snacks all Summer until the cooks get here?" Remus questioned ironically.

"Oh, Moony, we could both learn!" Sirius sat even closer to him, grinning, "You're smart enough, and I'm good at innovating, so we'll figure it out"

"Yeah, good at innovating ways to annoy me, that's for sure", Remus snorted, and Sirius rolled his eyes with a big smile.

He put out his spliff, and Remus noticed the scar on his hand, which was similar to the ones he had around his body. And it had been his fault. He then turned to his face and analysed his features, his bushy but perfect brows, his dark blue eyes, his previously perfect nose that now had a small bump at the top. His fault too. Maybe spending so much time together wasn't healthy for them; he was starting to corrupt Sirius. The perfect French prince.

"But imagine how good it would be?" Sirius stared at him deeply with his shiny eyes. Hazel and blue against each other. Remus' cheeks were starting to feel hot.

"It would be really good, Pads", the words felt heavy in his tongue. His mouth was very dry; he needed something to drink.

"Exceptional," the other boy stated, looking closely at him. Remus felt something like panic inside his chest. He didn't know why, but he started laughing.

Bloody Flynn and his weed.

"What are you laughing at, you wanker?" Sirius pushed him, half laughing as well.

"Exceptional? Really?" Remus hollered. It wasn't really that funny, but he was too high to even notice it "Oh, look at me, I'm Sirius Orion Black the third. Everybody kneel before me!" Remus mockered, exaggerating a fancy accent.

"I don't sound like that, you dick!" Sirius laughed and pushed him again.

"Really, only you could be stoned and come out with such a poncy word" his stomach was starting to hurt thanks to how much he was laughing, then he started coughing since his throat and mouth were dry.

"Good, choke and die, tosser", Sirius crossed his arms, faking anger.

"Give-me-some-of-that" Remus said in between coughs, pointing at the bottle of bourbon on Sirius's lap.

"Only if you say 'please, your majesty'" Sirius batted his eyelashes, and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Fuck off", he snatched the bottle out of Sirius's hands and took a big sip. The strong liquor was burning all through his throat down to his digestive system, but it was better than having the feeling of sand in his mouth.

"Have you finished?" Sirius questioned with one eyebrow raised.

"No, I don't think so," Remus laughed.

"I liked you better when you were shy and didn't talk at all" Sirius rolled his eyes and took the bottle to himself before taking a shot.

"Did you?"

Sirius huffed a laugh and looked up to the sky "No, not really. I like you better now that I know you," Sirius took another sip from the bottle and passed it to Remus. He did the same as the other boy.

"I can't say the same" Remus shook his head, and Sirius punched him in his shoulder.

"Wanker, it's because of me that we're friends" Sirius fixed his hair with one hand.

"Sure", Remus chuckled ", it's because of you that we weren't friends and hated each other in the first place, French prince of whatever", he rolled his eyes. Remus was starting to feel a little bit dizzy between the weed and the strong alcohol. His limbs felt heavy beside his body, and his head threatened to fall back at any second.

"Well, it was my charisma that got you at the end" Sirius winked at him and took another shot of Bourbon.

"I never thought you'd end up being nice, it was only after I started to know you, and even sometimes I don't think I like you that much" Remus squinted his eyes.

"I tend to give that reaction to people", Sirius shrugged with a smile full of pride. They fell back into silence for a couple of seconds. Stormy Sky by The Kinks coming to an end at the back.

"But really, I'm grateful that it ended up this way", Remus confessed, something he wouldn't have said if he were in all of his senses. Sirius turned to look at him with a soft expression on his face.

"Me too, Moony," he smiled sincerely.

A piano and a guitar started playing from the record player, and Sirius gasped loudly.

"I love this song!" Sirius exclaimed, and Remus laughed.

"You love every song, Pads", he pointed out.

"Haven't you noticed a kind of madness in my eyes? It's only me, dear, in my midnight disguise," Sirius sang, words slurring more than usual "Pay no attention if I crawl across the room. It's just another full moon" he held the last note longer than necessary, making Remus chuckle.

"Alright, show off", he pushed Sirius' face, and they both laughed.

"C'mon, dance with me, Moony!" Sirius jumped to his feet and pulled Remus by his arm.

"Careful!" he reminded, putting his right leg carefully on the floor "I can't dance"

"Yes, you can, you just swing side by side, you don't even have to move your legs. Here, lean on me. Sirius grabbed both of his hands into his, and Remus felt electricity run from his fingertips down to his spine. If he had been more sober, he probably would've snatched his hands from the other boy, but the weed and the alcohol made him slow and stupid, and maybe a really deep and hidden part of him didn't want to let go. He felt awfully secure.

They danced slowly to the rhythm of the song.

"You see before you a truly broken man. 'Cause when it gets to midnight, I don't know who I am," Sirius sang. They were so close, Remus could smell the alcohol in his breath "Full moon's a-callin', and it's put a curse on me, and it will never set me free" Sirius looked at him and started scanning his face with his eyes. He didn't know why, but Remus felt the entire world slow, the music went to a second place in his mind, and he could only think of the colour blue.

A blue that sometimes was more grey than blue when it was filled with sadness, like a sky full of clouds that Remus never saw rain coming from, but a couple of times they had been close to bursting. A blue that, when he was excited, talking about a prank or a song that he liked, turned into the prettiest of blues, a blue that could only be seen on a clear sky or the roaring ocean. A blue that he had seen only a few times, he had seen truly shining, like two precious diamonds that hid behind all that facade, and only if you looked carefully could you see all of their power.

Suddenly, Remus tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor.

"Moony, are you alright?!" Sirius exclaimed, crouching over by his side.

"Yeah, just tripped, t'sall " he stretched his right leg, making a face and trying to get up again.

"You shouldn't drink anymore", Sirius joked and helped him get to his feet.

"Yeah", Remus chuckled nervously and sat on his bed, as far away as he could from Sirius. He didn't know what had happened to him seconds before, but he wanted the other boy as far away from him as possible, better yet if he left the room entirely.

"Should we go back down? I sorta wanna know how Prongs' doing," Sirius scratched the back of his neck.

"Oh, you go down, I'll stay here. 'm tired anyway", Remus lied. Sirius stayed there, still, looking at him for a couple of seconds before nodding and getting out of the room. When the door closed, Remus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and leaned his head back on the headboard.

What was he doing thinking so much about Sirius's eyes?

He'll never accept another spliff from Flynn, he said to himself.

June 15th, 1996

"Here, this compartment is empty!" Marlene announced before the seven of them stepped inside the train compartment, cramming one beside the other.

"Who wants to play a card game?" James offered, and Sirius groaned beside him.

"Prongs, you've been talking all the way. I couldn't even get some sleep on the bus" The older boy took off his sunglasses and pinched the bridge of his nose "If you don't shut your mouth, I'll punch you, I'm serious"

"Yes you are" the others joked in unison.

"I hate the lot of you", Sirius whined, and they laughed. The boy had woken up with the worst hangover ever. In the first couple of minutes of their morning, Remus spent it waiting outside the bathroom while Sirius threw up everything he had drunk last night on the toilet. Remus' head was pounding too, but he didn't feel as bad a Sirius, he thought that the other boy got the worst part.

"Nobody told you to drink everything in sight", Lily pointed out on the other side of James.

"Well, if you don't end up almost dead the next morning, then it wasn't a good night, Evans" Sirius grinned "I wanted to go out big"

"Yeah, it's not like you have a two-hour train ride to Glasgow", Peter pointed out, and Sirius made a face.

"Don't remind me, Wormy, and also I have to catch a plane to France with the square of my brother", he rolled his eyes, dark eye bags surrounding them. Remus knew that the grumpy attitude Sirius had had more to do with the fact that he was seeing his family again than the alcohol he had drunk last night, but he decided to say nothing about it.

About twenty minutes before pulling up to Glasgow, Sirius dissapeared from the compartment and came in minutes later wearing a loose blue collar shirt, black trousers and black mocassins.

"What are you wearing?" Marlene chuckled, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"My mother is gonna make a fuss if I don't look 'presentable,'" he made quotation marks with his fingers. Remus glanced at the boy and thought he didn't look bad, just different. He resembled the kids on Slytherin than his usual self, and perhaps that's what his parents wanted.

A couple of minutes later, the train arrived at Glasgow Station with a whistle, it stopped, and Remus saw a lot of students getting off the train.

"Well, this is my stop," Sirius said. He looked reluctant to get out.

"C'mon, you tosser" James stood up and pulled Sirius in a tight hug as if they didn't know when will they see each other again "don't do anything stupid, Pads" he grabbed him by his shoulders "not without me" Sirius chuckled and then turned to lookes at the others, when he stopped at Remus he opened his mouth partially, as if he was planning to say something, but then he pressed his lips together, and gave him a little smirk.

"I'll see you lot after Summer," he said before getting out of the compartment. James stood there in silence for a few seconds, then he sighed deeply and turned around.

"Well, shall we?" he pointed at the card deck and sat down again beside Lily.

While Mary dealt the cards, Remus peered at the window and watched the platform, he saw students reuniting with their parents and family, happily hugging and talking nonstop, but right in the middle, a group of people stood out: two big men wearing black suits and a boy with short hair, he walked up to the two men and gave them his things and stood aside with a bored expression.

Seconds later, Sirius came up to them and did the same as his brother. The younger Black said something to him, making Sirius roll his eyes, and then the other three started walking away. Sirius turned his head around for a moment and looked at the train. Remus stretched his head so maybe he could see him, but it seemed like the French boy couldn't see him. He then followed his brother and the two security guards off the platform.

The train ride felt a lot shorter this time with the company of his friends. They spent the next four hours playing games, recalling moments of the school year or talking about what their Summer plans were. Of course, they all made plans to see each other all Summer, but Remus limited himself to just saying he would stay in Wales with his parents and wouldn't be able to see them, not giving much detail and hoping they were more focused on others' plans.

As the train arrived to King's Cross, Remus felt a drop in his stomach. He didn't want it to finish; he was having so much fun. He knew he would miss them all, but he reminded himself that he would be back in September. He hoped so at least.

"Oh look, there's my mum!" James pointed out a woman standing on the platform. She was really beautiful, with long dark hair and brown skin, elegantly dressed in a white dress, a big hat and heels.

"Darling" James' mom called him. The boy ran up to her and pulled her in a tight hug. He was almost the same height as her "Oh, James, be careful", the woman laughed.

"Mum, look, this is Mary, Marlene, and Remus", James pointed out to them and then pulled Lily closely by the hand "and this is Lily"

"Oh", the woman raised her perfect eyebrows "the Lily Evans", she beamed "is nice to finally meet you, Euphemia Potter" James' mother gave Lily a small hug, and Remus saw how the girl froze in place. "James has talked a lot about you" Remus saw how the girl's face was turning the same colour as her hair "a lot", Euphemia stressed.

"Mom", James called out, embarrassed.

"Of all of you, really" Euphemia turned to looked at the others with a smile "I feel like I know all of you" Remus could see where James got that big shiny smile of his.

"Mom, stop embarassing me" James ran a hand through his face.

"Alright, alright" Euphemia laughed "I'll wait over there while you say goodbye to your friends, but don't be long, James", she warned before walking away.

"Well, my mum's driver is probably waiting outside", Mary said suddenly.

"I should go too, Terry doesn't like it when I keep him waiting", Marlene added. The two girls said their goodbyes, hugging each one of them and making a promise with Lily that they would call every day, and they walked away.

"I should look for Sev", Lily announced, and Remus saw for a split second the discomfort on James' face ", my parents are giving him a ride"

"Want me to go with you?" James offered quickly.

"Your mother is waiting for you, I don't want you to get in trouble" Lily peaked over James' shoulder to where Euphemia was.

"Oh, don't worry about her, she's used to it" James waved dismissively.

"James..." Lily urged.

"Alright, alright", James rolled his eyes "I'll miss you", he confessed, and suddenly, Remus felt that he and Peter shouldn't be listening to the conversation. He made eye contact with the shorter boy, and they both knew to turn around the other way. The station ceiling had become a lot more interesting all of a sudden.

They heard kissing sounds, and Remus saw how Peter made a disgusted face, making him laugh a little bit.

"Hey! You two!" Lily called them and they turned around again "Goodbye, Pete" she hugged the boy, making him blush a little and then came up to Remus "Goodbye, Remus", she hugged him, and Remus pulled her closely "Don't get in trouble"

"I won't" he assured her. She pulled away and waved goodbye to James' mother before walking to the other side of the station.

"So now is just the Marauders" James observed "just missing my Pads" Remus gave him a little smile. He thought Sirius should be in France already, counting every second until it would be September again.

"Alright you boys, have you finish?" Euphemia came out again.

"Yes" James smiled "C'mon Pete, we'll give you a lift" Peter beamed.

"Cheers"

"Moony, are your parents here?" James asked, and the three turned to look at him. He panicked instantly.

"Erhm- no, I'm s'possed to meet there somewhere else", he lied.

"Oh, we can give you a ride too, if you want," James offered, and Remus panicked even more. Neither of them knew that he had to go to Waterfront, that his parents actually didn't exist anymore.

"Oh, s'fine, I don't-"

"Really is not a problem. Also, I wouldn't forgive myself if I let you go by yourself like that," Euphemia insisted, looking at his crutches and his cast. He could see more and more where James got all of his traits.

"Well..." he swallowed hard and tried to think about a solution fast enough "Alright" he accepted.

They walked out of Kings Cross to a black Rolls-Royce parked outside and a old man waiting patiently beside it.

"Mr. Potter welcome" the old man greeted James.

"Thank you, Louis"

"Remus just tell Louis where do you want to go, he's our chauffeur" Euphemia said and Remus eyed the old man. He smiled in sympathy and told him the first direction he could think of, they were probably more alike than Remus was to James or Peter.

"So what are your Summer plans, Remus?" Euphemia asked from the front seat.

"He's staying with his parents in Wales", James jumped before Remus could even open his mouth.

"Oh, you're from Wales!" James' mother smiled.

"Yeah" he didn't want to be asked more questions about his life or plans.

"But he lives here in London, right?" James questioned.

"Yes, we live here, but sometimes go to Wales for the Summer" Remus assured, trying to keep the information as vague as possible.

"You should come to our London house sometime" Euphemia invited.

"Yes! Why don't you stay tonight?" James exclaimed excitedly, "You two can sleep over and we'll drop you off tomorrow at your houses before we leave for Liverpool!"

"Oh, I can't we leave tonight" Remus said quickly.

"Hell", James sighed ", well, if I come to London, I'll be sure to tell you"

"You should come one Summer to our cabin at Devon, Remus" Euphemia suggested and James and Peter's faces lit up.

"Yes!" the two boys exclaimed.

"I go every Summer, Moony, is really cool" Peter assured.

"Yes! It can be the three of us, we'd have so much fun," James added, and Remus pressed his lips on a forced smirk "I always invite Pads too, but y'know how his parents are", he rolled his eyes.

"Maybe I can try to talk to Walburga again, and also talk to your parents, Remus, so next Summer the four of you spend at least some weeks at our cabin, you'll have everything you need there", Euphemia said.

"Yeah yeah, maybe next Summer" Remus nodded not wanting to crush the boys' dreams so early, that would be a problem for next year.

James and Peter kept talking the whole way, telling Remus stories about their time at the Potter's cabin, and it sounded really amazing, but Remus was starting to realise once again that they were from different worlds, and now that they were out of Hogwarts, the reality that they were the same disappeared quickly.

Chauffeurs, expensive cars, several Summer houses, private planes... if they wanted to, they could buy Waterfront entirely and it wouldn't make even a dent in their account. Remus thought that he would've never even touched a Rolls-Royce if it weren't for James.

Some time past and the landscape around them slowly started changing announcing that they were arriving to East End London. Surely a Rolls Royce wasn't meant to be there, and everyone inside the car knew that. It was specially apparent when a group of boys in the street stopped to watch the car and Louis clicked on the lock, so they couldn't even think of opening the doors.

"It's here, at the right", Remus told them, feeling like a fake.

"Oh, do your parents have a shop?!" James asked, eyes shining, staring at everything like it was so amusing.

"Yeah..." Remus came out of the car and Louis helped him with his trunk.

"Are they there? Maybe I could meet them" Euphemia asked still from the car.

"Oh, no, I..."

"Remus? Kid! You're back!" he heard an old man said behind his back and he froze in place. Jorge. He cursed internally and turned to look at him.

"Hi", he smiled forcefully.

"Is this your dad?" James asked carefully, eyeing Jorge.

"Oh no, he's..." Remus panicked once again, "my grandfather", he blurted out and peeked over to the old man. He saw the confusion on his face, but a second later, he smiled.

"Yes, his grandfather, mother's side" Jorge pulled him closer by the shoulders, giving him a half hug.

"Oh, nice to meet you, I'm James Potter" James i introduced himself extending his arm from the car window.

"Nice to meet you, young man" Jorge shook his hand, and Remus thanked the heavens and beyond that Jorge had followed his lead "You wouldn't be related to Fleamont Potter?" the man asked, and James' face lit up once again.

"He's my dad!" James exclaimed proudly, "And here's my mum, Euphemia Potter" he pointed at his mother on the front seat, and the woman waved him with a big smile.

"Nice to meet you ma'am" Jorge chuckled in disbelief "I didn't expect you'd have so famous friends, Remus"

"Neither did I" Remus sighed. A car behind them honked loudly and the driver waved them angrily.

"I think we should be going", Louis pointed out.

"Yes, yes, drivers around here aren't to be messed with", Jorge said, "but you're welcome to come by anytime", he smiled. They said goodbye, and the Rolls-Royce disappeared down the street.

"Now, grandson, let's get you back to Waterfront" Jorge patted Remus's back before turning around to the shop. Remus let out a big sigh and realized that his fantasy was finally over.

"So you want to explain why I suddenly have a grandson after 16 years of not knowing?" Jorge questioned when they were driving in his car to the orphanage.

Remus sighed deeply, "I don't know", he shrugged "I didn't want their pity"

"So they don't know you're an orphan" Jorge raised an eyebrow, and Remus shook his head, observing the streets pass by, avoiding the older man's eyes entirely.

"Do you think they would've seen you differently if they found out?" the man asked, and Remus didn't answer "Do you think they would've seen you as less?"

"I dunno", Remus whispered.

Jorge hummed, and after a moment of silence, he spoke again, "If they do, then they're not that good of friends"

"No, they are" Remus assured, after all those months that was the only thing he was sure of.

"Then why don't you tell them the truth?" he knew his friends wouldn't judge him if he told them, but now the lie has grown so much that Remus only knew to keep going; he feared that if he revealed the reality to them they would feel betrayed and hate him for not trusting them and lying to them all this time.

"I dunno" he shrugged again. Another silence grew between them "Thanks for helping me"

"Of course, anything for seeing a Rolls Royce up close and also meeting Fleamont Potter's family", he chuckled and winked at Remus, making him laugh "really, Gloria is not going to believe me when I tell her"

"Although I think you should tell them the truth if they're really your friends", Jorge added.

"Maybe I will", Remus said, not really thinking he would.

"And what even happened to your leg, boy?" Jorge raised his eyebrows, and Remus shrugged.

"Y'know, 'had to bring sum' of the East End to those toffs at Hogwarts"