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Chapter Text

“She does have your legs,” Chakotay teased with a sly smile. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes and swatted him on the shoulder with the back of her hand. “Behave yourself, Commander.”

Chakotay knew that her use of his title was meant as a warning. 

He wasn’t sure exactly what it was; whether it was the sunshine and fresh air, or the fact that they were out of uniform, or that they were truly alone for once, but he was feeling brave. 

“Kathryn,” he responded, one eyebrow arched up in amusement and that sly smile turning into a full on grin. It was only one word but it spoke volumes.

Kathryn slowed to a stop, and Chakotay followed suit. Their eyes met as the boardwalk around them melted away, leaving them both feeling as if they were the only people on Earth. Standing there in the LA sunshine, no command red in sight, they could almost have been on a different planet; one where they really were the only humans. 

As sense memory took over, Kathryn stepped closer and reached her hand out as if to cup his cheek… 

The moment ended abruptly when another out-of-control rollerblader skated right between them, forcing them to separate. 

Back in the real world, Kathryn shook her head and began walking again at a brisk pace. Chakotay had to make full use of his long legs to catch up to her. 

“Wait!” he called after her, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean anything…” 

His words trailed off when he reached Kathryn’s side and saw that she was crying. 

“Hey…” he started softly, as he gently pulled her to him. 

Kathryn struggled half-heartedly before giving in and burying her face in his shoulder and allowing her first officer to hold her close. She knew it was wrong, knew they didn’t have time for any of this if they were going to find a way back to their own century. But she was exhausted and frustrated that she had gotten Voyager even more lost than before… and to be honest, she missed him. So for just one moment, on a boardwalk in 1996, in a city that had sunk to the bottom of the ocean before she was even born, she allowed herself to be comforted by Chakotay’s warm embrace. 

“It’s just so hard,” she mumbled into his chest, “and… lonely.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them and he mentally kicked himself for breaking the rules. Kathryn looked up at him, her eyes clear now, if a little red. 

Chakotay tensed, preparing for the usual lecture about command structure and Starfleet regulations and parameters. But when he looked into her deep blue oceans, he saw a vulnerability and an openness there that had been hiding beneath the surface for months. He reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair back behind her ear. His hand stayed, cupping her cheek and she leaned into his touch, just a little. 

“Kathryn, you know I would never pressure you into anything. But you know how I feel. And I am here for you. In whatever capacity you need me.”

Kathryn blinked back tears, refusing to allow herself to cry again. She looked down at her hands resting on his chest, trying to decide if she should use them to push him away or to pull him closer. Stalling for time, she noticed the tear stains on his shirt and pulled at his sport coat to try and cover the damp spot. She smoothed down his lapels and with a sharp pat of approval, she extricated herself from him. 

Chakotay couldn’t help the disappointed sigh that escaped from his lips. He had been so close to getting through to her but now, here was Captain Janeway to lock Kathryn away again.  

Kathryn surprised him, though, by looping her arm through his and giving a little tug to indicate that they start walking again. 

She smiled up at him with her blue eyes shining. “Come on, Chakotay. We have a time ship to track down!”

Chakotay smiled too and followed her lead, down the boardwalk and into the future.

Chapter Text

It had been a few days since they returned from their latest adventure. Back in their own century, back in uniform, and (unfortunately) back in the Delta Quadrant. ‘Captain Janeway’ was back too. Chakotay shouldn’t have been surprised. In the months since they had returned from New Earth, he had marveled at her ability to compartmentalize. He felt a bit foolish for having thought that one vulnerable moment on the boardwalk would change anything. That single crack in her armor had been welded shut with tritanium as if it had never existed in the first place. 

He was doubly surprised, therefore, when he received a message on his personal padd requesting his presence on the holodeck that evening. The simple message was cause for confusion in itself; an invitation from Kathryn wrapped in an order from the Captain:

Holodeck 2. 19:00. No uniforms.

Please?

***

At 19:00 on the dot, Chakotay arrived at holodeck 2 to find a program already running. Nervous and excited, he took a few deep breaths and smoothed the imaginary creases from his blue tunic (a not-so-subtle homage to the outfit he had been wearing on the boardwalk) and entered. 

He was briefly disoriented by the bright glare of a setting sun, hovering just above the horizon. He squinted into the light and tried to get his bearings. As his eyes adjusted and the red corona dissipated, he began to make out that he was standing in a clearing surrounded by trees. He recognized it with a gasp and turned to see that their small shelter had been replaced by a log cabin, just like the one they had dreamed of building, complete with porch swing. 

And there, standing in front of the gently swaying swing, was Kathryn. Not Captain Janeway. Kathryn . 

She began to move toward him and her cream-colored dress fluttered softly as she walked, her unbound hair floating and fluttering in the breeze. He wanted to reach for her, to weave his fingers into her long auburn locks, to pull her to him and kiss every inch of her body. But, despite the implications of the setting and the dress, he still needed for her to make the first move. So he stood there for what felt like an eternity, fingers twitching at his sides and breath caught in his throat, and waited. 

Kathryn came to a stop in front of him and placed a hand over his heart. He reflexively brought his own hand up to cover hers and was relieved when she smiled. Her gray-blue eyes glittered as she finally spoke.  

“Hi.”

The simplicity of this statement was such a shock that Chakotay chuckled. Both could feel the gentle rumble of it through their hands joined on his chest. 

Chakotay looked down into the eyes of the amazing, complicated, frustrating, incredible love of his life and squeezed her hand. 

“Hi, yourself.”

Reminiscent of the boardwalk, he brought his free hand up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear and she leaned into his touch. She turned slightly to press a light kiss to his palm and then looked up at him with clear eyes. 

“Come sit with me?” 

She kept hold of his hand as she led the way back to the porch swing. They sat quietly, hand in hand, watching the setting sun turn the sky a mixture of bright oranges and a deep purples. Chakotay watched the colors reflect off of her alabaster skin and tried to memorize everything about this moment, just in case she was about to break his heart. 

Finally, her soft smoky voice cut through the silence. 

“You’re right. It doesn’t have to be lonely,” she turned to face him. “But I’m right too. I can’t give you all of me. Not while we are still out here, fighting for our lives. Out there, on the ship, I need to be the captain first. I can’t make it work any other way. But, if you’re willing to compromise, I can be your Kathryn here on the holodeck.” 

She continued on, picking up speed, “I know you deserve more and I understand if it’s not enough in which case we can just forget this after happened and -”

Chakotay stopped her babbling the only way he knew how: with a kiss. 

It was meant to be one soft kiss but quickly became more as he sipped at her lips like a man who had been dying of thirst. With sweet kisses, he traced along her jawline to her neck and buried his nose in her hair as he sucked gently at that spot he knew she loved, eliciting a soft moan from her.

That sound broke the spell and he forced himself to pull away so that he could look her in the eyes. He breathed heavily and waited for his vision to focus, dizzy as he was from nearness of her. There would be plenty of time for nearness later, but first they needed to finish this conversation.

“I am not saying it will be easy - to do this halfway. I can’t promise that I won’t reach for you if things get hard or that I won’t stare at your ass on the bridge.” 

Kathryn smiled at this and raised an eyebrow. “I think the crew would be more confused if you stopped, my warrior.”

Chakotay blushed at the realization that his secret glances were not as secretive as he had thought, but continued on, “But I would rather have some of you than none of you. So, if you can tolerate a small slip here and there, then… let’s do it.”

“OK.” 

She responded simply and they sealed the promise with a soft sensual kiss.

Kathryn turned to face the now starlit sky. She tucked her legs underneath her and snuggled into Chakotay’s side, resting her head on his broad shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in closer, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. 

“I reserved the holodeck for the whole night,” she admitted. “It’s a beautiful evening, let’s stay out here for a while and enjoy the stars.” 

“The whole night? Won’t the crew get suspicious?” 

“Captain’s prerogative,” she shrugged. “And anyway, Tom is hosting a poker tournament in the mess hall tonight. The schedule was wide open.”

“Well, we certainly wouldn’t want the holodeck to feel neglected.” His tone was light and teasing and he idly traced patterns on her arm as he looked up at the stars. 

“Those are our stars!” he realized suddenly. He felt Kathryn’s nod in the crook of his shoulder. “This must have taken you forever to program! When did you find time to do all of this?” 

“I did some detailed tricorder scans before we left,” she said sheepishly. “From those, it was easy to transfer the data into a holoprogram.”

“You’ve had this since we got back?” he asked incredulously. “The strong, stoic Captain Janeway has been coming here without me??”

“Only once. It was missing… something.” her watery smile betrayed her attempt at nonchalance.

 Chakotay pulled her into his lap so that he could press his forehead to hers and he murmured “You never have to come here alone again.” 

Then he cupped her face in both hands and kissed her. It was a kiss filled with passion and promise and most of all love. Kathryn finally let herself melt into his embrace. The stars glowed overhead and the night air grew crisp and cool as Chakotay stood and carried Kathryn into their cabin, her head again resting on his shoulder and her lips pressing soft kisses to his neck as he walked. 

Tomorrow, they would have to be Captain and Commander again. They would enter the bridge separately in their freshly pressed uniforms and greet each other with merely a professional nod. 

But for the night, they were simply two people in love whose only responsibilities were to each other.