Archive of Our Own ^beta

You stretched with a yawn as you walked across the Tower of Sweet Chaos’ metallic floor. Lower floors were cold, but this one was heated by the flames of the Oven itself. You were bony by Cake standards, so you found the heat comforting. You heard a baking tray scrape against the Oven’s wire rack as your boss loaded another array of new Cakes for baking.

“Mornin, Red Velvet.” The smaller Cake-Cookie turned to you as you spoke, still holding the baker’s peel in his claws.

“Oh, good, you’re here. The other one left early, so I’ve been working by myself the past half an hour or so.” You scoffed.

“And you let them leave?”

“Family emergency.” You flinched at your own lack of manners.

“Whoops.” You forgot other Cakes cared about that sort of thing. You took the baker’s peel from your boss’ hand. He smiled and walked over to the Ancient Dough to try and make it workable.

“I noticed you penned yourself in for Valentine’s Day again.” You shrugged slightly.

“I do every year. What’s the big deal?”

“You did, until I caught on and started scheduling it for you. Don’t you think you would’ve been on the schedule that day if we were operating?” You almost dropped the uncarved Cake you were removing from the Oven.

“Not operating!?” Red Velvet laughed softly.

“The whole K-Pop band thing is working out so well that Dark Enchantress Cookie started giving us holidays… nice, right?” You grumbled under your breath as you set the Cake on the cooling rack. “…I thought you’d be more excited.”

“Why would I be? It’s not like I have anything else to do. ‘Wooo, sleep’?” Your boss nodded.

“Most people would say ‘wooo, sleep,’ yes. Why so bitter?” You shrugged.

“Not bitter. I just don’t get it, and I don’t like being bored. Working gives me something to do with my hands, so… I’m going to be idle during a lot of these holidays, not just Valentine’s Day.” Red Velvet hummed as he thought about your statement. You recognized the melody as one of the songs his pop group sang and smirked. “Heh. I have you to blame for that, I guess.” He shook his head.

“Only partially. The other six members contribute just as much as I do.” You were about to question him before remembering that he considered each of his hounds a member as well. “Do you not have anyone you could spend the holidays with?” You rolled your eyes.

“Please. All my friends have other plans, and partners to make plans with. My family would rather see me dead, and I’ve never been the romantic type.” Red Velvet chuckled softly.

“Why not?”

“Ummm…” You thought carefully. “I dunno. No one’s really my type, or I’m not their type, or both, and aside from that it’s really complicated. I’d rather not bother.” You picked up a Cake Red Velvet poured and set it in the Oven, pulling out a different one immediately afterwards.

“Really? What’s your type?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Are you flirting with me, Boss?” He flinched.

“Heavens, no. That would be improper of me, seeing as you’re my subordinate. And I’m your Commander, not your boss.” You rolled your eyes.

“Same thing.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, uh… why do you care?” His eyes widened innocently.

“Can’t a Cake be curious?”

“Fair enough.” You leaned against the baker’s peel like a cane. “Umm… hm. I guess… someone strong but still sensitive, y’know?” You got off the peel when Red Velvet finished preparing another pan of batter. “The type that listens, and would value me enough to protect me I guess. It’s scary out on the field, y’know? I want someone reliable, really. Then again, who doesn’t?” You laughed as you picked up the unbaked Cake with the peel. “If they looked scary themself that would be a plus. I dunno. I’m a sucker for romance novels where the big brutish one turns out to be a massive softie. Like Beauty and the Beast would be cool if it weren’t a stockholm syndrome scenario, yeah?” Red Velvet’s eyes glittered. He had stopped working about halfway through your rambling to focus on your words, and he had a grin on his face as he leaned against the wooden mixing spoon. “Hey! What’s with that look?”

“I know someone just like that.” You rolled your eyes.

“Of course you do. You know everyone; if I described someone that could possibly exist, you’d know someone like that.”

“No, I mean I know someone like that. Quite closely.” He tapped his chin with his claw delicately. “And I know for a fact she’s going to be bored this Valentine’s Day too…” You froze.

“Nope. Nuh-uh. No way.”

“Hm?”

“I know you, and I’m saying no. I am NOT going on a blind date.” He sighed.

“Why not? It’d be something to do. Besides,” he stirred the batter vigorously to loosen it a little as he spoke, “it’s not like you’re committing to anything. I know you’re not a fan of that. Commitment, that is.” You grimaced at his observation. “It’s just testing the waters. And you described her perfectly, so it’s not entirely blind.” He smiled brightly. “What if I was nearby? You could evacuate at any time. Would you go, then?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Don’t you have something to do?! Why do you want to set me up so bad?” He shrugged.

“I hate seeing you be so miserable. You say you like working, but you usually just shut off your mind and power through the day. I spend Valentine’s Day playing with the Cake Hounds every year, so my plans would not be impeded by you.” You crossed your arms. He wasn’t wrong, you were always vaguely miserable, but you doubted that had anything to do with being alone on the holidays. He gave you an imploring look, and you relented.

“Fine… if you’ll be there to bail me out, I’ll consider it following your orders... Commander.” You sneered jokingly, and he smiled brightly.

“Magnificent! If I get him to agree, I’ll text you the details.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Him? You said ‘her’ earlier.” Red Velvet rolled his eyes.

“He’s both.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Don’t back out on me, (Y/N).”

“Eh!? It’s not like it’s a date with you!!”

“Exactly. If you no-show, you’ll let my friend down instead of me, which I cannot permit.” You sighed.

“What if I have a… what was it? A ‘family emergency’ and can’t make it?” You put your hand under your chin with a faint smirk. He squinted.

“Then I’ll know you’re lying and drag you out myself.”

“Boo.” You turned your attention back to your work. “Whatever, I’ll come. You owe me one, though, since you’re trying to set up your friend or whatever.” Red Velvet chuckled.

“I wasn’t, it was merely a happy coincidence, but I’ll let you hold it against me. You won’t regret going.”

“I totally will.”

“Nonsense. He really is perfect for you.”

“Sure, whatever you say, Boss.” He laughed at your skepticism, then you both refocused on your respective jobs.

You laid in bed silently that night, drugged up on melatonin and waiting for sleep to overtake you when your phone buzzed.

<[Confirmed his interest! Does 12:30 on February 14 sound okay?]

You squinted at your phone, trying to figure out what the hell Red Velvet was talking about. You remembered what you agreed to with a jolt.

[Everything’s gonna be busy at that time… eughh…]>

<[Would you prefer an earlier time?]

You thought carefully. You had no clue how to prepare for a date, and none of your friends would be able to help you.

[No. 12:30 is fine.]>

That should give you enough time to stress about it and figure it out on your own.

<[Magnificent! She will meet you at the Mocha-Lava Café.]

You recognized the name. It was a cute place, and you dropped by in the morning on your way to work. It was relatively obscure, but Red Velvet had seen its branding on the cups you brought in every once in a while.

[Aww I didn’t know you paid so much attention to my tastes.]>

<[Hah! She picked the locale :-)]

You froze.

[Oh.]>

<[It’ll go wonderfully, you’ll see. Rest well.]

You didn’t respond, setting your phone aside. The shock of remembering the situation you’d be in within the next two weeks was enough to get rid of your melatonin-induced haze. Now you’d have an infinitely harder time getting to sleep. You curled up to reduce the amount of anxious grumbling that attacked your stomach.

You pretended nothing was wrong the next few days at work, and none of your coworkers suspected a thing. Red Velvet was polite enough not to talk about your impending date with them present. The day before Valentine’s Day you were writhing with anxiety. You were on shift alone with your boss, entirely unsure of how to bring up the topic. You cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Hm? What is it?”

“…I’ve never been on a date before.” He nodded.

“You want advice.” You were grateful to have a boss that understood you so well.

“…Yes please…” You stared into the flames of the Oven, hoping the red light masked the blush on your cheeks. It was embarrassing to have to ask your boss this sort of stuff, but it wasn’t the first time. He taught you a lot of things that parents were supposed to teach you: how to tie a tie, how to read laundry tags, how to fix your smoke alarm, how to cut your hair, real basic stuff like that. How to prepare for a date wouldn’t be out of place. He was practically your dad. You wondered briefly how he’d react to you telling him that.

“I don’t know either, actually.” You were screwed. “Hmm… the point is for the other person to get to know you, and to get to know them, so I imagine it’s like a more casual job interview.” Red Velvet paused his Cake cutting to think. “Wear… something nice, but comfortable. After all, it’s just a café… and be honest when you’re asked questions. You’re trying to see if you’re a good fit for each other, not to impress her.” He smiled. “And don’t be afraid to ask your own questions about her, of course.” You nodded anxiously. “Is that enough?”

“Maybe… tsk. This whole thing is a waste of time…” You frowned deeply, and your boss returned to cutting.

“Well… maybe. But isn’t finding a time sink the goal? Try not to take it too seriously.” He tilted his head. “What worries you? Like, truly worries you? Are you scared she won’t like you?” You hesitated.

“No. I’m used to people not liking me.”

“That you won’t like him?”

“I don’t like anyone.” He laughed.

“That’s not true.” You rolled your eyes.

“You know what I mean. I’m used to people annoying me, so I don’t care if I add another to the list.” Red Velvet tapped his chin thoughtfully.

“Then what?” You thought carefully.

“Us not being on the same page, I guess. If he likes me and I don’t like him, it’ll be hellish trying to reject him. Folks don’t take rejection well, y’know? I hate dishing it out. And… if it’s the other way around…” You drooped slightly. “Well. I’m ‘folks’ too.” Red Velvet nodded sagely.

“That certainly is a predicament.”

“No advice?” He shrugged.

“It doesn’t get easier no matter how often it happens. However, you can’t have the chance of reciprocation without that risk. It’ll be worth the attempt, even if it does end in pain. Don’t you think?” You sighed.

“Easy for you to say.” He chuckled.

“I’m not some old man, no matter how much you view me as such. I’m just as uncertain as you at times. The only difference is I know that uncertainty is necessary. You’ll learn that too, someday. Perhaps sooner, perhaps later, but someday.” You nodded.

“Thanks… dad.” He nodded back.

“Anytime.” He hardly flinched at the title. It made sense when you thought about it. As Head Baker, he was the father of thousands. You weren’t among them, but you might as well have been.

“Did you bake her?”

“No, not me.” Red Velvet smiled faintly. “He’s nearly perfect. It would’ve been a high honor to claim that credit, but no.” You laughed.

“Nearly?”

“Well, we all have our flaws.” Your laughter intensified, and Red Velvet shrugged with a grin. You sighed, somewhat relieved by the conversation even if you ultimately didn’t learn anything new.

“Well, whatever. Thanks again. Really.”

“Of course.”

The day came. You had shown up early and twiddled your thumbs silently as you waited. You realized you had never gotten your date’s name, and it was entirely possible that he hadn’t gotten yours either.

[RV.]>

<[We’ll be there in a bit, don’t worry.]

[I don’t know his name. Or what he looks like. Or if he’ll even show up.]>

<[He will.]

[I’m totally freaking out.]>

<[He goes by Choco Werehound Brute, if that helps.]

[A little. I’m gonna curl up and die.]>

<[Huh!? At least wait for her to show up!!]

[Does she know who I am???]>

[Sort of. I did a better job briefing her on you than I did briefing you on her, I admit.]
<[Just relax.]

[Easier said than done.]>

<[I’m bringing him with me. He won’t stand you up. I’ll point you out to him. You have nothing to worry about.]

[God, I doubt that, but thank you.]>

<[Just relax. :-)]

You shoved your phone back in your pocket and leaned back in the wiry metal chair. You had sat on the patio to make yourself easier to find, but you were starting to regret it. You knew it was an irrational thought, but you couldn’t help but believe everyone was staring at you as they walked by. You wanted to curl up and hide. Why did you agree to this? You took out your phone again to check the time. You stirred your coffee. You read the advertisements in windows across the street. You stacked packets of sugar. You checked the time again. You considered going home. Your boss would destroy you if you went home. You weighed your options as you checked the time again. You finished your coffee. Should you order another? Would it make you feel better?

“Hey… you’re (Y/N), right?” You jumped at the sound of a voice behind you, twisting in your chair to face whoever spoke. Your mouth went dry when you realized who it was. His brown and red mane was combed delicately out of his face and curled playfully at the ends. He wore the ever-classy turtleneck and peacoat combo with a short skirt. He grinned enthusiastically with the brilliance of a thousand suns.

Your blind date was world-famous popstar TNT.

“Y-yeah, that’s me!” You were going to combust and die. Your eyes darted around, eventually landing on Red Velvet. He was sitting on a brick wall and paying attention to at least twelve hounds, but when he noticed you giving him a pleading look he gave you a thumbs up and a smile. Something in you died. TNT— er, Choco Werehound Brute sat down across from you and folded his paws together on the table.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Choco Werehound Brute.” You nodded.

“Y-yeah, nice to meet you too. (Y/N). That’s me. You knew that already. Um.” You tried to take a sip of your empty coffee and failed because it was, well, empty. “I, uh, didn’t expect, um…” You gestured vaguely. “You. You’re like… famous or whatever, aren’t you?” She laughed heartily.

“I get it. Red Velvet never tells anyone that sort of thing before I meet them.” She scratched the back of her head. “He says it skews people’s opinions, but like… they’ll know when I meet them, so I don’t get the point of hiding my identity.” You shrugged awkwardly.

“I mean, it wouldn’t have changed my coming here, o-obviously.” That was a lie. You would’ve refused more adamantly if you knew. You were way out of your league. She laughed again.

“Clearly! It’s whatever, though. Try not to think about it, I guess? I’m just a dessert like anyone else, really.” You nodded awkwardly.

“Um, you want to go in and, like, order…?”

“Yeah!” Choco Werehound Brute grinned cheerfully again. She had way more energy than you did. Hoo boy. You got up and held the door open for her, a gesture she nodded in appreciation for. The line was full of other couples, which you anticipated. Despite the relatively underground nature of your favorite café, it always had more customers on sappy holidays like this where people looked up things like ‘Top Ten Cutest Restaurants in Beast Yeast’ or something like that. It gave Choco Werehound Brute and you time to look at the menu, something neither of you did. After all, you were both regulars. She hummed a song you didn’t recognize as you both waited.

“Oh… working on a new song?” You were unsure of how else to start a conversation. He chuckled lightly.

“Not quite. That one’s a Hollyberrian waltz. It gets stuck in my head from time to time.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Hollyberrian? You’re a Cake, why would you know anything about Hollyberrian music?” Choco Werehound Brute shrugged nonchalantly.

“I participated in the Hollyberrian Princess Contest, that’s all.” That felt like a huge reveal to you, but she treated it like nothing.

“What!? Aren’t you from Beast Yeast?”

“Yeah, but they let me in anyway! Cool, right?” He gave a hearty guffaw. “I could’ve won, but then the whole dragon thing happened.” You absentmindedly pulled out your phone to fiddle with it. Okay, maybe you were actually looking up icebreaker questions to shoot at Choco Werehound Brute, but that counted as fiddling. In the meantime, you tried to keep the current conversation going as long as possible.

“I thought the line in Bad and Dark about you being a Princess just meant you were high maintenance and deserved the best or something.”

“Nah! It’s literal. I’m not that high maintenance. I think I’m pretty chill.” He scratched his chin and looked around carefully before continuing. “Well, not chill enough, probably. Between you and me, I got disqualified.” You scoffed.

“Cookies hate the notion of being ruled by non-Cookie desserts, and especially cakes. Of course they’d disqualify you.” Choco Werehound Brute shook his head.

“I got mad when the other contestants insulted my dancing and got disqualified for starting a fight. The Hollyberrian Cookies are actually very accepting! A few contestants invited me to hang out with them at a festival after the fiasco was over.” Choco Werehound Brute giggled sweetly. It wasn’t a sound you’d expect the hukling popstar to be able to make. Admittedly it was adorable. “Cranberry Cookie recommended the brand of hair dye I use. I can’t use just any dye because I have fur, so without her this iconic look would be incomplete!” He slid his paw across his mane, and you watched the red swirl on the top of his head bounce back into place.

“Wow you have… really good experiences, huh?” When you were in the Hollyberry Kingdom you got brutalized by a bunch of children, but you decided not to mention that. She nodded.

“I’m lucky like that. It’s thanks to my Master that I’m able to have such good experiences outside of Beast Yeast.” You raised an eyebrow.

“DKEC?”

“Nah. Well, her too, but nah.” You did a double take. The illustrious TNT, Beast Yeast’s darling and the leader of B.A.D 4, answered to someone other than Dark Enchantress Cookie!? She didn’t elaborate, so you didn’t pry. You coughed awkwardly.

“Hey, if you want you can tell me your order and I can bring it to you? Choco Werehound Brute laughed at the thought.

“I’d rather stay here with you. We’re supposed to get to know each other, right?” Your heart skipped a beat. This anxiety was going to kill you.

“O-okay.” Your search for icebreakers got a bit more frantic. All the ones you found sucked; who the hell asked ‘What do you want to be remembered for when you die’ as an icebreaker!? “Umm… is being a popstar fun?” Choco Werehound Brute shrugged.

“I have a lot of responsibilities as the Leader… some of which Ms. Scarlet should handle and doesn’t, then blames me for when it goes wrong.” She rolled her eyes and lifted her paw to make a ‘blah blah’ motion. “Rest is important, every celebrity knows that, you’re not training them enough, you’re training them too much, do you not want to be here, didn’t you train? Nyeh nyeh nyehh.” You couldn’t help but giggle at his impression of his boss. “So contradictory.” He sighed dramatically.

“Right? Jeez, I get that.” You two finally got to the front of the line, and the barista looked between the two of you curiously.

“I know you both, but I’ve never seen the two of you together. The usual?” You nodded, and so did Choco Werehound Brute. The two of you stepped out of the line to wait. You peered idly over the counter to see what Choco Werehound Brute’s ‘usual’ was, but they were making yours first.

“My turn to ask you a question!” You turned your attention back to your date as she spoke. “You’re one of Helly’s bakers, right?” It took you a few seconds to realize that ‘Helly’ meant ‘Hellhound,’ which meant Red Velvet. You nodded.

“I studied baking for years because I got sick of fighting.” To your surprise, Choco Werehound Brute nodded in sympathetic agreement.

“Is it fun?”

“Hell no,” you responded reflexively. At first you were confused by your own answer. It was how you chose to spend your holidays, the one way your life had any meaning. As you thought, though, it clicked. “I mean… I’m grateful for it. I love having something to do with my hands and I’m proud of my position and my work but… it is quite monotonous.” You shrugged. “I’d rather be bored than hungry. Dark Enchantress Cookie withheld my pay every time I failed, which was pretty much every time after that group of kids showed up.” Your thoughts and rambling were interrupted by the barista setting both of your orders on the counter in a cup tray. Choco Werehound Brute had ordered a London Fog: an Earl Gray tea with steamed milk and lavender. You picked up the cardboard tray and lifted it to eye level to examine the cup. “Fancy stuff.”

“Is it?” He scratched the back of his neck. “Normally I drink Earl Gray straight, but I like to treat myself at the end of the day. You nodded.

“So that’s why I haven’t seen you here, you’re a night shift customer.” She nodded back as she held open the door for you. She took her drink from you after you walked through. The table you two were sitting at had been taken by a different couple, to your dismay. That was your spot. Choco Werehound Brute giggled at your confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uhh… all these tables are taken.” You drooped. He nodded faintly.

“That’s alright! Hmm… there’s a nice park nearby. That’s where I go to drink my tea.” He grinned. “Especially with the whole pop-star thing I have going on. It’s way easier to hide out in the park than at a café table.” You hadn’t even considered that. She offered her paw, which you took hesitantly. Choco Werehound Brute’s fur was luxuriously soft, and he had a powerful grip. You could tell he was trying to be gentle, but he still hurt your hand. His paw was warm as well. You examined his claws and their red polish as he led you to a small park nearby. Red Velvet trailed behind you at a distance, to your immense relief. Having him around felt like having a personal bodyguard. You appreciated him a lot. Choco Werehound Brute sat down on a bench near the park’s miso soup pond, and you sat next to him. Steam rose off the pond’s surface, twisting and coiling through the winter air like an angry serpent. A few cracker ducks cruised calmly through it, appearing more elegant wearing the cloak of condensation than they actually were. You liked to call the silly creatures ‘Quackers.’

“Man… should’ve brought some bread from Mocha-Lava, huh?” Choco Werehound Brute shook her head.

“Bread isn’t healthy for ducks.”

“What!? They’re made of crackers! That’s like… crunchy flatbread!” You stared in bewilderment as Choco Werehound Brute guffawed.

“Yeah, but their bodies don’t work the way ours do! We can eat cake because we’re built for it. They aren’t built to eat their own kind. Bread fills them up too much so they get sick and refuse to eat anything else that could be nutritious for them! It’s bad for the ducks, but it’s also bad for the pond because the ducks keep the plant population level. You can still feed them a little, just use frozen vegetables instead.” She pulled a half-empty bag of peas out of her pocket. “Or, in this case, half-thawed ones.” You blinked in surprise.

“Do you just… carry peas around?” Choco Werehound Brute shrugged.

“I figured I might end up here after our date, but being here with you is a lot more fun.” Your face flushed. “Plus, Helly and I were out here before I went to Mocha-Lava to see you.” She pressed her ears to the top of her head sheepishly. “This place helps a lot when I feel anxious.” You stared at her. THE TNT, anxious about meeting little old you? He chuckled and offered the bag of peas to you. “Maybe this place could help you too?” You took a handful of slightly wet peas with a nod.

“Maybe… I do need it.” Your date grinned as he took your hand and led you to the edge of the lake. Holding hands and feeding the ducks together felt like stuff couples did. You weren’t sure what to make of that. You went back to the bench to grab your drink and to recover your wits. Choco Werehound Brute giggled at you when you returned. “What? This thing was 150 coins! I’m gonna drink it.” She nodded as her giggling slowly died away. He crouched next to you, and a gaggle of Quackers sailed over to the rim of the lake to take peas from his outstretched paws. You tossed a few peas into the miso soup, and the Quackers that were coming over gobbled them up in milliseconds. The hot steam rising from the pond was comforting in the late-winter chill. “Hey, Choco Werehound Brute, they seem to like you a lot.” His tail started wagging when you said his name. Several Quackers clustered around his legs, one even going so far as to sit on his foot. He giggled again and sat with his legs crossed so he was more stable rather than standing on the balls of his feet.

“Well I am a Princess.” You rolled your eyes with a smile as he laughed at his own joke. “In all seriousness, I’m out here almost daily. These ducks are practically my pets.” To prove his point, Choco Werehound Brute put his paw under a Quacker’s chest and lifted it up. You laughed at how still the duck sat.

“How cute.” Choco Werehound Brute put the Quacker back down. One of the Quackers clamped its bill down on your pants leg and tugged hard, and you slapped your hand on your belt loops to keep your pants in place. “Ack!! Bastard!” Choco Werehound Brute laughed as you tried to extricate yourself from the Quacker’s grip. You tried bribing it with treats and shaking your leg, neither of which worked. You lifted the ensnared leg to try and pull the Quacker off when something hit the back of your other leg hard. You toppled backwards into the lake. You weren’t in the hot soup long enough to register how much it burned before Choco Werehound Brute yanked you out.

“(Y/N)!? Are you alright!?” You spat out a bit of soup with a nod. Now that you were out of the burning pond it felt even colder outside. Choco Werehound Brute draped her coat over your shoulders when you started shivering and pulled you close to keep you warm. “You’re all soggy! Poor thing.” Your flushed face did all the work for her. As you peered over Choco Werehound Brute’s shoulder, you saw Red Velvet scolding Chiffon for (presumably) knocking you over. The hound had a ball in his mouth, and his head was bowed slightly in acknowledgement of Red Velvet’s stern critiques. When Red Velvet noticed you watching him, he offered an awkward smile and a wave. You glared and dragged your thumb across your neck, and Red Velvet shrank to match Chiffon. Your threats were cut short by Choco Werehound Brute sweeping you off your feet. You squeaked and dug your claws into his shoulders, which he didn’t notice. “Let’s get you somewhere warm.” You nodded shyly, not sure how to handle being in a bridal carry. Sharing coats? Holding hands? This relationship was moving a bit fast for your tastes.

“At least I got rid of that Quacker…” Your date giggled at the nickname.

“True. Hm… I know a restaurant near here if you’re interested? Or I can take you home.” You considered your options. You were a bit reclusive and didn’t really want her knowing where you lived regardless of how wonderful she was.

“Restaurant’s fine.” You were hoping to recover from the epic failure of a park visit as well. Choco Werehound Brute nodded with a smile and carried you away. Red Velvet didn’t follow this time, much to your dismay. That’s what you got for threatening him. What were you supposed to do without your protective boss watching over you? The two of you were a tricycle without a third wheel: still vaguely functional, but extremely wobbly. Choco Werehound Brute shouldered open the restaurant door and set you down on a waiting bench.

“Wanna get lunch?” You laughed.

“Think we have to. Doubt this place allows people to loiter around, even if one is drenched in soup.” She giggled in agreement before going up to the host. You curiously put your hands in Choco Werehound Brute’s pockets. You found a multitool, a few strawberry candies, a handful of forgotten coins, and a bunch of random business cards. Notably included among the cards was one for the seasonal Sugar Gnome Cake Shop in the Cookie Kingdom, a fur salon in Beast Yeast, and Ms. Scarlet’s Coffee Truck’s card. You put everything back as Choco Werehound Brute returned.

“Are my pockets interesting?” You shrugged.

“Kinda. I didn’t think you liked strawberry candies.” He laughed heartily at your observation.

“Those are for Master! He has a debilitating sweet tooth. Sometimes I bribe him to do things with those.” Your eyes widened.

“Really? You must have a good rapport.” Choco Werehound Brute shrugged.

“Well, I’m the band leader, so I have to get him to listen to me somehow.” It clicked in your brain who his mysterious Master was.

“ZZ SKULL!?” He laughed at your shock.

“Yeah. Even though I’m his boss onstage, it feels weird to shift our dynamic, so I still call him that despite not needing to. Besides, he’s a better planner than I am. I just follow my feelings.” You nodded seriously.

“A Cookie, huh?”

“Hey, he’s different, I promise.” You rolled your eyes.

“I doubt that, but if Dark Enchantress Cookie told you to work with him then I don’t care.” Choco Werehound Brute chuckled at the notion.

“It shouldn’t matter either way, right?”

“That’s fair, actually.” Eventually the two of you were seated across from each other in a booth by a window. The restaurant was cozy and not overly pompous, so you felt at ease. You perused the options silently. In contrast, Choco Werehound Brute hummed along to the music playing overhead. Once again, you didn’t recognize the tune at all. Maybe you lived under a musical rock. You tried to think of icebreaker questions. You went to grab your phone to look them up again before remembering that a. The internet’s ideas sucked and b. Your phone was saturated with soup. As you patted your pocket before remembering these points, you were filled with a sense of dread. “Oh… I think I lost my wallet to the soup.” Choco Werehound Brute furrowed his brows in concern.

“Do we need to go back and look? I know you had a lot of cards in there.” You shook your head.

“That lake’s deep, and the soup’s heat would probably kill us if we tried to dig around in it. Makes you soggy faster, y’know?” You sighed. “I can request my IDs back later. For now, I’m grateful I’m alive.” Choco Werehound Brute scratched the side of her face.

“I’m really sorry. I thought we were far enough from the edge to avoid either of us falling in, but I guess I was wrong.” You waved a hand.

“It’s my fault for not being more cautious, and Red Velvet’s for not keeping his hounds in check.” He laughed and relaxed.

“Yeah, it’s all Hellhound’s fault, bwahahah! I’m sure he didn’t mean it, though. I’m not sure why he’s even following us around.” You decided not to mention the fact you asked him to as you sipped your water. The waiter came by to take your lunch orders. You attempted to stick with nothing but water, but Choco Werehound Brute insisted you ordered something more filling. “Eating’s important, especially when recovering from a plunge in soup! Besides, I’m pretty well off, I don’t mind paying for us both.” You resolved to pay her back once your affairs were in order.

“Fine, I’ll order something.” The waiter took your order and left. You twiddled your thumbs as you tried to think of what to say. Your claws drooped slightly due to your moistened state. “So uh…” Choco Werehound Brute’s ears pricked up. “Um. What do you do? After work, that is.”

“I bake!” She grinned. “Not in the same way you do. See, Master cooks the main courses, and I bake dessert.” You raised an eyebrow.

“You two live together?”

“We’re bonded.” Platonically married. You nodded as she sheepishly adjusted the collar of her turtleneck sweater. “That’s not a problem, is it?” You shook your head.

“Not at all. Why are you worried? If it was an issue you could ditch me and move on without breaking a sweat.” Choco Werehound Brute shrugged.

“Well, it’s tough to hear that other desserts do have a problem with our arrangement. You in particular are super nice, so it would hurt extra to hear you say it was a bad decision or that you couldn’t tolerate it.” You coughed to mask your blush in your arm. “So I’m glad you’re okay with it! What about you? What do you do for fun?” You shrugged.

“I don’t really have any hobbies. Work is so draining that I’m too tired to do anything when I get home.” Choco Werehound Brute’s ears drooped.

“That’s so sad.” They pricked up again suddenly. “What would you do if you did have energy?” You thought carefully.

“Not sure. Origami, maybe?”

“Oh, that’s cool!” You shrugged.

“I can only make fortune tellers. If I wanted to make anything else I’d have to look up a tutorial.” She clapped lightly, and you blushed a bit harder. “Hey, it’s really nothing! I want to be able to make cranes from memory someday. Now those are impressive!” You grinned. “And there’s a legend that says if you make a thousand in a year you can make a wish.”

“I’ve heard that one!” Choco Werehound Brute tilted his head. “What would you wish for?”

“A billion coins.” You laughed at the absurdity of your own request. “I could solve all my problems and a few of everyone else’s with that much money.” Your date nodded thoughtfully. “What about you? What would you fold a thousand cranes for?”

“I want to erase my old name.” She said it without hesitation. “It and all the weakness it carries. I’m not… I’m not that name. I keep telling myself every day that I am not that. I’m Choco Werehound Brute…!” She sounded upset just talking about it. “...If you ever meet my Master, he’ll tell you my real name. Just… try to forget it, please.” His entire body wilted at the thought, and you scoffed.

“Cookies don’t know respect! Your real name is Choco Werehound Brute. That other name? Your deadname? It doesn’t exist. Wish granted.” Her eyes lit up at your encouragement.

“Thanks, (Y/N). That… that means a lot to me.” You nodded firmly. The waiter brought out your food, and you both became quiet while eating as a courtesy. “...Oh! What should we get for dessert?”

“Dessert with lunch!?” Choco Werehound Brute shrugged and grinned.

“Don’t you think you deserve it? For being so wonderful?” You hid your face in her coat.

“No! Unless, like, you want dessert.” You laughed, which was undoubtedly muffled by the thick wool her peacoat was made of. “You’ve spent enough on me though. I’ll pass.” She stuck her tongue out at you.

“Boo. I’ll order a slice of whiskey cake and it will just happen to have two spoons if a certain stubborn Cake decides to join in after all. How about that?” You shrugged and lifted your hands innocently. He put in the order and hummed softly while waiting for it. The cake came out a little bit before you both finished your meals. It came with ice cream: luxury stuff by your standards. You sipped your water and stared out the window absentmindedly as you waited for Choco Werehound Brute to finish his cake. “Hey, (Y/N).” You turned your attention to him, and he held out a bite of cake and ice cream to you. “You’ve gotta try at least one bite! It’s soo good. I’d hate for you to miss out.” You shook your head. “Not even a tiny bite? I promise not to harass you about eating any more of it…” You hesitated. On one hand, the dessert did look pretty good. On the other, you weren’t prepared for the intimacy of being spoon-fed. Choco Werehound Brute seemed to really want you to accept her offer, though.

You leaned forward and took the bite she held out for you. The contrast between hot cake and cold ice cream was divine, and the sweet flavors blossomed across your tongue as both desserts melted away in your mouth. It was a little too sweet for your tastes, actually. Choco Werehound Brute seemed happy, so you were too. As she promised, she didn’t offer you any more. You were tempted to return the gesture, but there would be no point. She was already eating it by herself. You simply watched her in silent curiosity as she enjoyed her dessert. You also managed to sneak a peek at the bill to take note of how much you owed. As she tucked her coins into the check holder, she smiled brightly.

“This was fun, despite the mishap! Thanks for coming out here with me.” You nodded in agreement.

“It was fun… I’m… I’m glad I came.” The check was collected, and the two of you stood up. “I’m definitely drained, though.”

“You look it! Do you want me to walk you home?” You took his arm for support as your slightly damp legs wobbled beneath you. Despite your desire for privacy, you nodded. Your boss was long gone and your phone was fried, so no one else could take you home and you couldn’t walk by yourself. You gave Choco Werehound Brute directions as you walked. The trip home was filled with idle, unnotable chatter. Normally you weren’t one for small talk, but Choco Werehound Brute made even the smallest topics seem as big as she was. His grin and hearty laughter made bad jokes seem like comedic masterpieces, and he seemed to sincerely care about even the smallest of your worries.

Eventually the trip came to an end. Choco Werehound Brute walked you up to your door.

“Thanks.”

“Of course!” You handed his coat back, which he folded over his arm. “Hey, (Y/N)?” You paused with your keys in your hands to look up at him.

“Yeah?”

“I’d… like to see you again.” You laughed.

“I owe you 775 coins, so you definitely will.”

“No! No you don’t, and no that’s not what I meant! I meant on another date. Is that alright…?” He pressed his ears to the top of his head as you watched him do countless times. Both of you blushed, Choco Werehound Brute a bit more heavily than you. Because of his fur, you wouldn’t have even realized he was flustered if you weren’t standing close enough to feel the heat radiate off his cheeks. You two had only known each other for a day, and yet you already felt like you had been with him for a lifetime. You nodded.

“I… um… well… yeah. Yeah. Me too. I’d love to go on another date.” You coughed awkwardly. “I don’t have work next Tuesday… same place and time?” Choco Werehound Brute lit up.

“I’ll be there! I’ll see you then.” She turned to leave, but you reflexively grabbed his sleeve before he got too far. When he turned back around to face you, you planted a kiss on his jaw. His face grew even hotter, and his tail began wagging eagerly. He gently headbutted the side of your face to reciprocate, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck. You two stayed entwined for a couple of minutes before you pulled away. His tail continued to wag as you silently entered your house and closed the door.

You couldn’t wait until Tuesday.