Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It just never ends.

The phoney smiles, the pretentious relationship and the ever growing deterioration of your mental health. Who knew a hobby you once enjoyed for the sake of having fun has now become a serious and draining chore to you.

But at what cost do you still pull through?

Look at me.

Look at me!

How many times have you screamed those words in your head? You never knew this world could be this fucked up. Everything has been tainted in impurities that’s beyond saving. You want to leave. You want everything to disappear. You want everything to end.

And yet, you’re so powerless to do so.

Everyone only sees what’s right before their eyes but do they really not wonder what’s beyond all that? No, they don’t. That even if you try to claim otherwise, you would be the crazy one. You wouldn’t even want to bring yourself in that situation.

Maybe that’s why you’ve always been stuck in the same place. Never moving that you might as well be a tree that only awaits for its own demise.

Everyone keeps moving futher and further away from you and no one stops even for a little while to look at you.

You’re not the same old naive person you were who would blindly believe that in a never-ending cave, a speck of light would slowly appear and get bigger. No, there’s no escape for you. There’s no one to help you. You’re hopelessly forever lost in the vast and cold darkness.

People don’t even see you. You’re a transparent figure where only different images of people are seen through you. They all look past who you are and even if they do see you, their gazes either turn uninterested or into unreasonable contempt. You don’t even know where all the absurd hatred comes from.

Is it because you’re the daughter of a famous artist? That you’ve been so privileged the moment you stepped into the world of arts? You don’t even get along with your mother. You know she’s only been using you for positive publicity. The truth is, that mother of yours has a new family that she’s desperately keeping private to save her face from criticism.

You have always been her biggest struggle.

Yet, everyone thinks you two have such a great relationship.

Everyone expects so much from you because of her but no matter how influential someone is, no matter how much name one make for their selves, and no matter how much they try to put everything in their favour, if someone is greater than them, they will always be just standing under their shade.

And that’s what you are now. You’ll always be under that person’s shade… that person being Enfer.

But you don’t hate Enfer. How could you ever? If there’s one thing that stays pure in this world of arts, it would be Enfer.

Enfer.

The beautiful, kind, and talented Enfer.

So be it that you’re only under her shade. That shade stays to be the safest place to be and you would rather stay there than be exposed to the growing contamination the world of arts is suffering from.

Or perhaps, you are the contamination that’s tainting the purity of Enfer’s shade.

You never wanted any of this but sadly, there’s just no way out for you.

“You’ve been staring at that painting for quite some time now. Do you want that?”

Enfer snaps you out of your own thoughts while your gaze gets lost onto the painting before you, it was almost hypnotic that it brought your mind to peace. How odd. Not even Enfer’s piece would make you feel this way.

Well, that’s to be expected when the theme of her work is always centered on fear. She might as well turn you into a sculpture because that’s only been the constant feeling you’ve had ever since you stepped into this world. At least, that’s one way to know you still exist. You still have some time to feel something.

“I like the painting. It’s peaceful to look at.” You manage to answer. The painting indeed looks good but truthfully, it feels like the kind of painting that people would ignore unless they feel a certain connection to it. Is that why you’re quite drawn to it?

Mc…Queen?

You scan the name of the artist. It’s a familiar name and it didn’t take you a while to finally remember. You and McQueen once stood on a stage together when they announced the results of the very first competition you joined.

You were first. McQueen was second.

“So McQueen is starting again, that’s good.” Enfer says softly, a relieved smile playing upon her red-tinted lips.

You raise an eyebrow as your curiosity grows. “She stopped?” You never knew. You aren’t really updated about what’s happening around you when you can’t even focus on yourself.

“Hmm. She’s been on break, I believe. For three years now.” Enfer responds with a hum, unsure of the exact reason why. “Some people speculated it’s because she lost a compet–” She halts in realisation and nervously glances at you, afraid that she might have touched a sensitive topic.

Three years…?

Your eyes immediately widen. The only competition that was held three years ago was the competition held by Keylan University. It’s exactly the first competition you’ve joined back then. Was that an important competition for her? Now that you think about it, the first placer is supposed to be granted an instant pass to the university but your mother didn’t even let you study there.

Did McQueen stop because she’s unable to attend Keylan University or are you reading into this way too much? That competition was actually the start when arts started to feel like a chore to you.

Countless praises were showered onto you for winning your very first competition. Scratch that, the praises were all directed to your mother.

“As expected of her daughter!”
“It’s not surprising, she’s her daughter.”
“As it should, she should bring honour to their name.”
“Her mother must have been such a great inspiration!”

You won the competition and yet, nothing was about you. They could have just given the reward to your mother at that point. The fact that you were so happy that day just proves your naivety back then. You thought that it would finally be the chance to mend your relationship with your mother, but… that was just wishful thinking.

Blinded to your own little success, you were unable to look at the people around you. The people you’ve accidentally trampled on.

The guilt is growing for some reasons. You know the result of that competition is beyond your control but there’s something deep inside you that continues to feel restless. Because whether you meant for it to happen or not, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve potentially ruined someone’s life.

“… Is this for sale?”

Enfer is visibly surprised. She already knows there’s something wrong with the frantic way you’re looking at the painting after you knew who the artist is. You were literally just looking at it calmly a few minutes ago. But even if she asks you to talk to her, you wouldn’t confide in her.

“Everything here is for sale, darling.” Enfer calmly says as she puts a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to calm you down. “We came here to buy some paintings for your new place, didn’t we?”

That completely slipped from your mind. You’ve been so lost in your thoughts that you’ve completely forgotten why you went to a gallery with Enfer. Flustered, you impulsively head to talk to a staff and discuss about buying the painting.

“You’ve got quite a taste, ma’am. This artist is very talented and she came back just recently.”

You quietly grit your teeth. Sure, that painting was the only painting that caught your attention but there’s a deeper and uglier reason why you want to buy it. It’s out of guilt and perhaps, pity. Thinking that you’d be doing McQueen a favour by buying her art.

Ah, her daughter bought McQueen’s art.

Wouldn’t that pique people’s interest and give McQueen’s art more chances to be seen? That’s how you want it to go but in the end, the buyer details are only disclosed exclusively to the artist and you’re quite glad that’s the case.

Unbeknownst to you, your foolish actions only fueled the anger that’s been silently burning deep down in McQueen’s heart.

“You’re in an awful mood. Some girl rejected your advances?”

McQueen laughs, though a little sarcastically. “You’re the only one who dare rejects my advances… Miss Lisa.”

“Ah, really? Too bad.” Lisa monotonously says with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. Then she sits before taking the glass of vodka prepared on the table. “It’s not my fault I have high standards.”

Another laugh escapes McQueen before leaning forward to Lisa who’s sitting right in front of her and offering the short-haired beauty a teasing smile. “Always so cute, my lady. You’re saying that as if we haven’t already spent a night together.”

Lisa only blankly stares at McQueen before quietly putting the glass back on the table and leaning closer towards the latter who’s still dumbly smiling at her. “Thank you for reminding me to never drink when I’m with you ever again.”

“Ah!” McQueen feigns a hurt expression. It’s easy to tell because maybe she’s just not fit for acting. Either that, or she’s simply making it obvious. “That wounds my fragile heart, my lady! And here I thought you enjoyed each passing moment when you wouldn’t stop moa–”

Lisa is quick to push a magazine onto McQueen’s face to prevent her from speaking further. Then she sighs loudly. “Get to the point. I’m leaving if you keep up with that nonsense.”

“Ahaha!” McQueen once again laughs but her expression almost immediately turns cold when she leans back to the couch. “Do you know… that famous artist?”

“Huh? Which one?”

“Crosselle.”

Lisa briefly widens her eyes. She didn’t think McQueen would bring up this kind of topic because as far as she knows, she detests artists like Crosselle—your beloved mother’s pseudonym. Lisa soon nods, signalling for McQueen to continue.

“Ever heard of her daughter?”

“Yeah.” Lisa responds with another nod. Though she’s hit by a sudden realisation now that McQueen has mentioned you.

Crosselle is very famous and you’ve been exposed to this world for quite a time now but… for some reasons, your progress is way too slow. Only Crosselle keeps getting so much attention. You haven’t even had a single exhibit yet.

Lisa has seen your art blogs way before and she’s always thought that you’re decent and actually improving. A lot better than your mother, even. But somehow your work suddenly became so heavily influenced by other people, especially Enfer, when you already had your own style.

“What about her?” Lisa asks but her face soon molds into a grimace at the conclusion she had. “Oh god, don’t tell me you plan on sleeping with her, too?!”

McQueen is silent for a while. She’s not even sure how Lisa came up with that but perhaps, anyone could have thought the same considering how addicted she is with sleeping with women. But instead of denying Lisa’s claim, her eyes sparkle in excitement and Lisa’s expression only gets worse.

“Whaaat?! Is this what I think it is?! Is this what they call jealousy? Are you feeling jealous?! Well, I’d be damned! This sure tickles a bit of my fancy!”

“Going home.” Lisa immediately says and abruptly stands up but McQueen quickly gets a hold of her hand with a carefree laugh escaping her lips. The girl only clicks her tongue in annoyance and plops back down on the couch before sighing. “So?”

“She apparently bought some art I put up for sale.”

“Oh?” That piques Lisa’s interest. While she absolutely hates McQueen’s guts, she’s genuinely interested in the art she makes. “What? Do you feel ecstatic that someone like her bought your art?” She asks with a hint of playful mocking in her tone.

But McQueen only stays silent. Her expression doesn’t change but her eyes are starting to be void of light.

Lisa shrugs. “Guess not.”

It takes some time before McQueen speaks again. “The competition three years ago…”

She begins to talk about the competition that took place three years ago. It was your very first competition and at the same time, the competition that could have been the stepping stone for McQueen’s successful future.

McQueen is a struggling artist, almost to the point where she would have chosen the path of being an art dealer instead. She’s not as famous and no matter how much blood, sweat and tears she put out on her work, they would deliberately get ignored. All because her name hasn’t earned any fame. But Keylan University, a reputable university in the Syndicate, held a competition and the winner is granted to be able to enter the university’s art department.

That university has very high standards. Your name doesn’t matter, but your talent should.

Or so, that’s what people seem to think but they’re just plain wrong. Keylan University is just like any universities out there. School is simply business for those who own them and who wouldn’t refuse some extra drop of cash, right? Anyone can go in. So long as you have the talent to get in or… you have money.

McQueen considers herself as mediocre so she really never thought of applying to the university head on. But by proving herself by winning a competition, she could at least stand proudly after. She prepared a lot. To the point where she checked and studied every participant that were accepted in the competition. All to improve herself to be able to compete with such formidable artists.

But you, you were never there.

You were never listed in the participants that were accepted before they closed the applications. Only when it was time to announce the final result you showed up. All of a sudden, and no one but McQueen seemed to have noticed. She was the only one who looked through the original list before it was altered the last second.

You walked onto that stage with such a nonchalant expression, as if the whole competition didn’t even matter to you. But truth is, you couldn’t be happier that day. You just didn’t want to disappoint your mother by acting childishly. But how would that seem to McQueen who didn’t really know you?

The daughter of a famous artist who wasn’t in the original list of participants but has won the competition… everything seemed absurd only to McQueen, only her knew something was wrong but everyone’s reaction was in favour to yours. That it would be the only most natural result.

No, it wasn’t.

You weren’t even supposed to be there. McQueen shouldn’t have been second. And looking at it closely, there was only a point difference between your and McQueen’s scores.

Guess what?

Crosselle also suddenly became one of the judges when she wasn’t supposed to be.

How else would McQueen perceive that?

It’s just how it looked like. The competition was manipulated the moment you and your mother became a part of it and McQueen had lost her chance to enter the university. The most vexing part about it was you didn’t even attend Keylan University, your mother only hired a personal instructor for you, which is Enfer—a very famous and in demand artist.

Just why did no one bat an eye?

McQueen’s world shattered right at that moment. That’s when she realised that the world of arts is just as fucked up as anything else.

“…”

Lisa falls completely silent. It’s not like she never knew the dark side of this world but to think that someone like McQueen have experienced its fucked up ways firsthand makes her understand McQueen a little bit better. She only knows how McQueen had her own struggles and somewhat built the person she is now but… to think it would have stemmed from all that was something she didn’t expect.

Just like any other normal person, McQueen was also unsurprisingly sensitive and naive. Like how everyone is at the start. Until they’re hit with the horrible reality of life. The incident hurt McQueen so much that she had to take a break for three years and now that she’s back, the person who trampled on her suddenly buys her art.

Was it mockery on your part? Lisa wouldn’t have taken you as one but it’s not like she personally knew you.

Still, Lisa believes there could be more to know about all this. After all, she’s only heard one side and she’s always had her suspicions towards Crosselle but she could never get the same feeling with you. For now though, McQueen’s feelings are the most important. Even if she tries to rationalise the whole situation, it would probably only hurt McQueen more so she’s decided to keep it in.

“Do you think it’s childish? Rekindling my resentment like this when it’s already been three years?” McQueen rests her chin on her palm as she leans forward with a smile that’s hard to read. “Even I think it’s pointless but feelings are just beyond one’s control, aren’t they?”

Lisa did not find it childish at all. What McQueen feels is valid, that’s all she could think for sure. So she shakes her head with a small sigh. “So? You hate her?”

McQueen didn’t expect that straightforward question from Lisa but she’s more surprised about the fact that she isn’t able to answer right away. She soon leans back while pondering. It should have been an easy question for her but she genuinely tries hard to think of the answer even though there are only two options she can choose from—yes and no.

“You don’t have to answer.” Lisa says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “All I can say is you’re the only one who can handle this. But if it gets too hard, you can talk to me anytime. I guess.”

McQueen can’t believe what she just heard. Lisa is actually being nice for once but she knows that once she points it out, Lisa will take it back in an instant. So she’d rather stay silent. But McQueen starts to sulk when the latter suddenly stands up and head for the door.

“You’re leaving already? How cold. Here I thought you’d stay the night and comfort me.” McQueen looks up at Lisa before flashing her a suggestive yet attractive grin.

Lisa only scoffs while turning the handle of the door. “Waste of time. I’d rather argue with people on the internet.”

Upon Lisa’s words, a genuine laugh almost immediately escapes McQueen with her hand over her stomach. “Ahaha! A very Lisa thing to do, of course!”

Just as lisa leaves though, she audibly gasps which catches McQueen’s attention. Just what made Lisa so surprised? Curious, she follows behind Lisa and the latter only shoots McQueen a troubled expression.

“What’s wrong?”

“Miss Lisa? You’re Miss Lisa, right?!”

That voice…?

It’s your voice. You actually just moved in right next to McQueen’s place. You approach Lisa and grab her hands into yours, excitement filling your eyes.

“Oh my gosh?! Are you living right next to me?!”

“No– uhm…” Lisa speaks incoherently and she awkwardly looks back to McQueen who’s right behind her which you completely missed. But you soon follow her line of sight and your eyes widen in an instant.

There’s only one emotion that surged into you right at that moment.

Fear.

It’s the way she’s gazing at you. The way she’s looming down at you under her predatory gaze. You feel so little and powerless that you lose your grip on Lisa’s hands and freeze in position.

“Well, I’d be damned! I didn’t know Miss Lisa is acquainted with such an esteemed person.”

You didn’t miss the complete sarcasm in her voice. More like, McQueen didn’t want you to miss that she’s being sarcastic. It makes you cower and sweat, and the fact that you know why she’s acting that way is the reason why you’re unable to do anything for yourself.

Ugh.

Lisa just wants to go home. Even fighting hundreds of people on the internet isn’t as stressful as this. Being stuck in between such a situation is the worst possible thing she could ever think of. Maybe if she tries to sneak out, she won’t be noticed? She only seems like a barrier that’s keeping McQueen from actually attacking you, anyway.

She feels bad for you but… it’s not her business.

“Well, uh… it’s late. I have to go home.” Lisa tries to butt in and then she places a hand over your shoulder. “We can talk some time soon.”

Lisa actually ran away, leaving you and McQueen alone and the tension only grows thicker. You wouldn’t ever have imagined that McQueen would be the one living right next to you. You haven’t even prepared yourself at all. No, you didn’t even think you had to meet her so soon, or at all.

Right after you bought her art, too.

She must know it already. That’s why she’s looking at you that way.

McQueen’s appearance changed a lot. She wasn’t this flashy before. Not that she looks unsightly but she leaned to a simpler yet clean way of styling that most would ignore her in a crowd. But she isn’t ugly. In fact, she’s very beautiful. Just those days, she didn’t seem like she wanted to stand out.

You don’t know whether to be mesmerised by her ethereal beauty that’s more stunning than any art you’ve seen or be scared of how hostile she is towards you.

McQueen then notices the securely wrapped huge frame that’s leaning against the wall near your door, then a more devious smile spreads upon her lips. “Ah, would you look at that!” She chimes and heads out to look at the covered frame. Of course, she already knows what it is.

“Normally, people would have it delivered! I didn’t think you would take it home yourself!” McQueen seems genuinely surprised but you’re not really sure if it’s just good acting or what.

“I– I didn’t want it… to get damaged…” You manage to reply and you can only clutch onto your arm as you begin to feel more nervous. This definitely does not help your crippling anxiety.

The latter pauses for a while but she chuckles right after. “How nice of you,” she says with a smile. Her lips are definitely smiling but… her eyes, her eyes are definitely glinting in a way that’s only meant for trouble. “Shall I help you put it up?”

You really can’t reject that, right?

Chapter Text

“Shall I help you put it up?”

The suddenness of McQueen’s offer truly caught you off guard. As much as you want to kindly reject it, you couldn’t and if you did, things just might get worse than it already is.

She offered to help and refusing will just make you seem like an asshole. Besides, deliberately avoiding her would also make you seem guilty even though you’re still unsure of what exactly you did wrong. At the very least, you still want to mend whatever’s broken between you two.

Maybe, just maybe something can change.

You had no choice but to invite her in and you soon place a hot cup of tea on the table before sitting right in front of her. “I’m sorry, I don’t have much in here yet. I just moved in…”

“Don’t worry about it.” McQueen assures with the same smile she’s been wearing since a while ago.

You hope she just drops it. You’d rather have her be angry with you than put up such an obvious sarcastic façade. Though your cowardice to confront her makes you wonder if you should really be the one complaining.

“I wouldn’t have imagined, really!” She suddenly exclaims with an exaggerated surprised expression. “I mean, you’re her daughter, right? I expected you to live in a more lavish place compared to this one!”

Well, it’s the only place you could afford. It’s not like your mother gives you anything to support you, anyway. Everyone just assumes that you two have a great relationship when you’re basically almost strangers now. You hate that you can’t do anything about it because once you try to say otherwise, no one would believe you. Obviously, not even McQueen.

An unnatural laugh escapes you. You’re someone who’s quite adept at acting due to all that pretentious act you do with your mother but it’s hard to do so with McQueen. “I, uh– prefer a smaller place.”

That isn’t a lie. You do prefer smaller places.

“Hmm.” McQueen hums softly with a nod before sipping on the tea. It actually tasted quite good for her. “What a coincidence, isn’t it? The artist of the painting you just bought turns out to be your neighbour.”

You guessed right. McQueen already knows. Of course, she would be informed right away. You’re still mad at yourself for making such a poor, impulsive decision. Sure, it’s a great painting and all but you really should have just left it alone the moment you learned who painted it. You probably wouldn’t be in this predicament if you just used your head a little.

“Ah… haha. Very surprising… indeed.” You nod your head.

There’s truly nothing more you want to do than just bury yourself six feet under the ground. Life is tiring, anyway. It’s better than looking so pathetic that you can’t even make an eye contact.

“I’m very fond of one of your paintings, too!” The latter clasps her hands together and a wide, crafty smile etches upon her lips.

The smile gave McQueen away. You already know where this is going. At this point, all you can do is just sit still and helplessly take all the bullets she’s continuously firing at you.

“You know? The painting that won first place,” McQueen pauses just to lean forward to you and that finally makes you look straight into her eyes, “three years ago.”

You knew it. You really have no idea what expression you’re making right now and you probably look like a prey fearing for its life but, you also can’t seem to tear your eyes away from McQueen’s arresting ones. All that hostility of hers and all you can think about is how breathtaking she is.

And scary, of course.

“I–”

“I want to see it again!” McQueen cuts you off with a playful tone as she stands up. It looks like she’s already made herself at home when she began to roam and look around your place. “Can I?”

Again, you can’t refuse. You could have put that talent of lying to work and say that you didn’t bring it with you but at times like this, you’re just unable to.

You lead McQueen inside a room where you stored most of your art stuff and the latter gingerly follows right behind you. Her eyes automatically scan around and observe your work that are hanging around but just as she thought, you’re no special. To her, your work all seem like try-hard attempts and something a scrapped work of Enfer would look like.

Unoriginal. Cheap.

“Ah, here it is.” You spot the painting covered on the easel stand and you remove it right after. You should probably put this hideous painting somewhere you can’t see it later on. Just looking at it truly appals you.

Truthfully, McQueen isn’t expecting anymore. Her only motive is to make you uncomfortable and never about a painting she’s never seen before. She couldn’t even bare to look at your face back then, what more of that painting? Of course, saying it is her favourite was an obvious lie.

Or so, she thought.

Some might think that scenes in movies where everything just seems to stop to be quite exaggerated and something that’s just impossible to actually happen but, they’re wrong. Because the moment McQueen’s eyes landed on that painting, her world world literally stopped.

What’s this…?

What’s this obvious gap in our work…?

McQueen can’t believe what she’s seeing right now. Compared to those trash you’re proudly hanging around, you’re keeping this masterpiece hidden?

What happened?

What changed?

There are so many questions in McQueen’s head. That painting of yours should have won by many points. So why is her work only a point away from yours? What’s happening? Sure, art is subjective and there could be differences in opinions but that painting is just in another league.

As much as it hurts to admit, McQueen knows she still has a long way to go to match that level of eminence.

But even so, you shouldn’t have won. You shouldn’t have been there, anyway. The fact that you weren’t in the list of participants is the root of the problem.

“It’s really my favourite.” McQueen states as she slowly approaches the painting. That was either sarcastic or genuine. It’s hard to tell and she herself doesn’t know what she exactly feels. It’s the painting that made her lose the opportunity but it’s also the only painting that has ever made her feel some type of way.

“Can you show more?”

McQueen is pertaining to your older work. Knowing how talented you could actually be, it made her want to confirm something and you knew right away. After all, you’ve heard it before. You’ve heard how your older work are better than the ones you do now.

But as much as you want to go back, it’s your head and your hand that refuses to follow.

Huh…? This… isn’t paint.

McQueen carefully and lightly brushes her finger on the canvas as you quietly look for something you can show her. Just as she’s about to draw a conclusion about what it is, you interrupt her by handing her a sketchbook you found under the cabinet.

“It’s dusty…”

“No worries.” McQueen quietly says before taking it from you and flipping carefully over the pages. Though they’re just mostly doodles, they’re actually all good. A whole lot better than the ones you’ve been making up to now but… this isn’t enough. She wants to see more than this.

But is she really willing to probe deeper into your world?

Ah, she looks disappointed.

You’ve been observing McQueen’s reaction. Even if you want to show her something to maybe redeem yourself, you can’t. All of your work that you yourself liked has been taken by that dear mother of yours and of all paintings you managed to save, it had to be that.

“… Here?”

McQueen raises the painting up and you narrow your eyes before gesturing her to move a little to the right. She looks so tired and done and she isn’t even bothering to hide it anymore. But she’s the one who offered to help so she really can’t just leave now.

Though you’ve asked her to do more of what she offered. You made her hang around more paintings that you’ve got from Enfer.

“Ah, there! There! The hook is there!”

You could really use her help and you’re quite glad she offered. McQueen’s a lot taller than you are so you saved the energy of moving chairs around to stand on and hang the paintings where you wanted them to be.

You’ve most probably drained McQueen’s energy, though.

McQueen finally hooks it in and a rather loud sigh escapes her lips. “Can I sit?” She asks and points to your bed. You didn’t even get to answer anymore, she just does as she pleases and tiredly plops down on the mattress before she starts stretching her overworked arms.

Her gaze focuses at the painting right in front of her. The painting she herself made and the sight of it hung around someone else’s place brings a slight feeling of perplexity in her. Back then, she wouldn’t even dare imagine for this to happen.

And to think she would place this in her bedroom…

The sudden thought immediately makes her shake her head. She’s not about to feel something like that right now. Especially not with you. Maybe she’s a little pent up because Lisa won’t do it with her again despite all her attempts. She should just call another girl when she gets back.

You soon sit beside McQueen which somehow made her flinch a little. You didn't notice, though. You only sat beside her because it’s the best view to look at the whole painting.

As you thought, it really brings you some peace of mind that you don’t even notice how McQueen is eyeing you. Somehow, the blank and dead stare you are giving kind of unsettles her.

“Ah.” You suddenly snap out of your trance when you remembered something. You turn your head to look at McQueen, your faces a little too close to each other. “You… are you friends with Miss Lisa?” There’s a faint sparkle in your eyes when you asked that question.

What’s this… a Lisa admirer?

Now that she thinks about it, you were quite excited when you thought it’s Lisa who’s living next to you but you switched up real quick when you realised it wasn’t the case.

McQueen can’t believe this. The artist of the painting in front of you is literally right beside you and you dare talk about others right now? Shouldn’t you be asking her about the painting?

“Friends? I wonder.” Though slightly disappointed, she still responds in a titillating tone and her lips form a smile that’s vague and hard to read. “It could be more than that.”

“Best friends?” The excitement on your eyes only heightens at your one-sided conclusion and that irks McQueen even more for some weird reasons.

“No.” She nearly rolls her eyes but she leans further onto you and you only blink at her. You note how her gaze drops down to your lips then back to your eyes and your heart unavoidably skips a beat.

An amused smile soon paints across her face at the fascinating sight of the growing redness of your cheeks. “It’s complicated. We are friends but we slept together once. What do you think?”

Slept together? Don’t friends normally… wait…

You frown a little in mild confusion but it didn’t take you a while to finally realise what she meant. It’s not just sleeping and then calling it a day, it totally meant another thing.

The realisation immediately flusters you and having McQueen so close suddenly brings a jolt to your whole body that you leaned away from her but she is quick to pull you by the waist to prevent you from falling down the bed.

“Oh no, careful now.”

“I’m sorry…”

You only end up getting even closer to McQueen. Your bodies are almost pressed against one another from the way she pulled you just now. You can only look down, completely embarrassed and unable to move away.

What’s this…? She’s quite cute.

McQueen’s gaze drops to you and it isn’t hard to notice how red your ears have become and soon, an indecent smile slowly shapes her lips and she forcefully grabs onto you until you’re sitting on her lap.

You could only gasp at the suddenness and you instinctively lean back as you push her at her chest but that’s probably last thing you should have done because McQueen is also a woman and your palm sure is resting somewhere quite soft.

It’s the way you can’t even pull your hand back from the absolute shame that has rendered you completely frozen.

“Haha… how brave.” McQueen laughs amusingly as she glances down to where your hand is but she doesn’t seem to mind at all. She only places her own hand atop yours and urges you to press further against her chest.

“Wait…?!” Your eyes widen at what the other is trying to do and you attempt to pull your hand away but McQueen’s hold against it is firm.

A small pout immediately forms on McQueen’s lips and she looks at you as if she’s sulking. “You’re hurting my pride. I’m still a lady with a fragile heart, you know.” She mutters under her breath and you can only confusedly look at her. “They’re kind of flat but you’ll feel it. Just use your hand, come on.”

The way McQueen speaks lowly with her alluring gaze focused on yours tugs at your heartstrings. Your senses heighten as her other hand gently squeezes your side, making you shiver a little. This sure doesn’t count as normal especially between the two of you but had you really wanted to escape from her, you could have already done so.

“You seem really confused, dear.” McQueen draws her face closer to yours. Forget your hand on her chest, her other hand is already making its steady way down to your thigh and slipping it under your skirt. “Have you not heard anything about me?”

No, you have not. Aside from the fact that she was on break for three years.

McQueen is a special case and she suddenly became notorious for being a huge flirt. Many have tried to defend her behaviour by saying that she’s only being friendly but that’s a huge understatement. She really just has no concept of personal space and would flirt the hell out of any living being to exist.

And that she has slept with multiple women.

You should have been an exception. McQueen can’t stand you after all but something just snapped in her with the way you’ve (unintentionally) bewitched her so she ended up jumping on you, too. Well, there’s no rule in her book that she won’t hit on people she doesn’t like anyway.

“Don’t look so nervous.” McQueen’s voice is soft as she leans closer with her hand squeezing the flesh of your thigh and a soft whine inevitably escapes you. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, an electrifying heat runs throughout your whole body with the way her lithe fingers deftly splay to your inner thigh.

“Don’t you want to feel good, hm?”

Honestly, you don’t even know anymore. There is a fucked up mix of various emotions whirling inside you. This is the same person who was just treating you with hostility but now, her eyes are blown out dilated and the skin beneath the glasses-like accessory across her nose have blossomed into a demure hue of pink.

“Doesn’t it feel exciting?” She questions, the hand over your own is now delicately caressing past through your arm and up to your shoulder, her touch making you slightly quiver. “Doing such things with the painter of the painting behind you?”

The complexion of your face worsens and your shame heightens on her next words.

“Don’t even think of refusing. It’s already obvious that you want this, too.” She whispers under her breath as her face briefly buries against your neck and her soft lips trail butterfly kisses up to your jaw.

You breathe out heavily from the intoxicating sensation and your arms have naturally wrapped around her neck while she instantly locks her own ones around your body, hands slipping under your clothes to gently squeeze against your bare skin.

“… Ah, haha.” You quietly sigh with a defeated chuckle as you helplessly lean your forehead against hers, then you gaze straight into her eyes… those damned eyes. “I must be crazy.”

“Yeah? I must be, too.”

That’s probably the cue. Because at that moment, it seems like the two of you have finally come to an understanding with your mutual desires. Her lips crashing against yours immediately elates you and the torrid tilts of her head as she desperately moves her mouth against yours is enough to bring a muffled yet salacious noise out of you.

The continuous kisses serve you breathless and the way she’s crudely fondling through your body sends an intense heat down to your very core.

Submitting to the pleasure of her kisses, you feel her softly chuckle against your mouth while she briefly watches you from time to time eagerly and sloppily returning every kiss she gives.

It seems like she’s truly experienced in this field because there’s no way else you would be feeling good from just this. It’s not like you’re in love with McQueen and there’s little to nothing that you actually know about her.

And yet, you’re all over each other like there’s no tomorrow.

The kiss inevitably ends as McQueen pulls away and the two of you catch your breaths. She still keeps her face close to yours and for a moment, her eyes widen at the sight before her—your flushed face, the tears that almost formed at the corners of your eyes, and your slightly gaped swollen lips smeared with saliva as you stare at her with half-lidded eyes—all that as her painting in the background did unexplainable wonders to her.

“Haha…” She laughs quietly in disbelief as she holds your chin to keep your dazed face in place. “I can actually get used to this.”

Chapter Text

Deep, strained breaths, disheveled clothes and hair, and muffled noises of relentless mouths connecting continue to echo throughout the closed space of your room.

How long have you been making out with McQueen? Even when you try to turn your head just a little to get a glimpse of the clock, it’s futile when she gets a hold of your face once again.

“Wait…” You pull away to breathe but McQueen immediately pulls you back and you end up being claimed by her lips once again.

“No.” McQueen manages to talk against your mouth, lips faintly brushing your own ones and her hands are steadily working on slipping your clothes off of you. She surprisingly still has her remaining reason in tact because had she not, that blouse of yours would have already been torn open and thrown away in an instant.

Slender fingers make their way to her silky hair and the tied portion behind easily comes loose, strands soon falling to perfectly frame her picturesque face. Your hand rests over her cheek and she looks at you with a smug smile, obviously aware of her own attractiveness.

“You’re staring a lot, my lady.” She keeps her eyes on you, all the while she’s placing kisses over the exposed skin above your chest, then she slowly slides your top off of you until her gaze drops onto your arm and her eyes widen a little. “This is…” A finger slides over a spot on your arm and you slightly flinch from the sensation.

“Ah…! That…!”

You were just about to talk about what it is but you cut yourself off with a gasp when McQueen’s lips and tongue begin to slide from your shoulder down to your arm and soft whimpers escape your mouth as her teeth sink into your scarred flesh. But how can you forget about it? That scar on your arm.

McQueen doesn’t mind it at all, though. If anything, she’s just surprised that a well-cared for person like you would acquire such scar. What could have happened? With those thoughts in mind, she begins to shower it with kisses but she halts when you gently grab a fistful of her locks, her gaze soon flickering up to look at you.

“Don’t… do that. Don’t look at it… It’s ugly.” You try to say in between your breaths, face completely flustered. You just can’t believe she would start doing that. Normally or mostly, people would be turned off seeing such a scar.

A quiet chuckle escapes McQueen at the sight of your flustered face and she only shakes her head as her hands trail up to your back to unclasp your bra with such skill and promptness before tossing it aside.

Before you can even feel self-conscious at the sudden exposure of your breasts, a loud moan instantly escapes you from the way McQueen’s lips keenly latch onto one of your nipples while her hand gropes the other, massaging it delicately against her soft palm.

“Ha…”

The gratification of her mouth and tongue tracing against your tit immediately makes you arch your back and throw your head back, your arms locking around her neck to pull her closer with your fingers tangling through the beautiful mess of her hair.

You are extremely sensitive. Every little touch and action McQueen does is enough to make you tremble and moan in pleasure. She really did not expect that from you but it truly is a pleasant surprise. That just heightens her carnal instincts of her unexpected desire for you.

“Lift your hips a little for me, hm?”

You really want to hit your head with the way you pathetically and immediately obeyed to her words. You could have pretended to resist but alas, your body is just way too honest of what it really wants to do.

With her lips tracing down your cleavage, McQueen easily slips off your skirt and you’re soon only left with your knickers. Your body shivers from the sudden wave of cold air against your skin but it was immediately replaced with the heat of her touch—her fingers swiftly sliding down to the base of your panties, already soaked with arousal and you bite down a moan with the way her fingers ghosted your clothed cunt.

“Wow,” McQueen drawls lowly, amused. You already want to run away from embarrassment but the way McQueen enjoys the view is quite endearing for you. You would have never imagined yourself to be a subject of one’s desires, especially not McQueen. She soon removes your underwear and a thick string of liquid stretches out as she slides it down from you.

McQueen had one thought in mind. She wants to taste you right in an instant. The thought of those liquids spurted in her mouth almost salivates her and her lust-filled eyes start to glint in anticipation.

Your arms wrap around her neck as her hands soon rest on each side of your hips and she squeezes them before her fingers dive down into your pooling wetness. Moans immediately fill the room as she carefully pushes one finger in you, then another and your hips jerk uncontrollably from the foreign sensation, your breathing unstable against her neck as you try to get used to the sudden stretch.

“Relax,” McQueen coos against your ear. As much as she wants to see your pussy getting fucked with her expert fingers, she’ll let this off for now. Gazing at her own painting while fingering you has its own charm, it seems.

The grip on the fabric of her clothes tightens and your nails dig through her clothed back as she pushes her fingers in and out of you. Then a third finger resolutely enters your stuffed hole; the pad of her thumb presses against the engorged bud, rubbing it in sync with the movement inside your pussy and creating sinful noises that’s persistently ringing alongside your nonstop moans. The pace picks up gradually and the way McQueen is consistently plunging deep inside makes your thighs tremble that it’s almost hard to keep your balance.

Perhaps it was too much for someone like you who’s never been touched by others. You wouldn’t lie and say you don’t touch yourself but being touched entirely by someone else brings a different feeling to everything.

It’s the fact that you feel yourself reaching orgasm right away.

“McQueen… I, w-wait…!” You stutter over your moans and McQueen knows that reaction all too well but instead of slowing down, her fingers relentlessly rub against you; curling, pushing, and reaching spots you never knew existed and could only dream of reaching. “… Close…! I’m going to–!”

“Let it all out. Cum for me.”

The way McQueen lowly whispers as she heavily breathes against your ear with the last harsh thrust of her fingers immediately drives you to your orgasm. You cry out against her neck as you leak out with arousal, her fingers slick and dripping with your fluids as she pulls them out of you. Your thighs immediately give out and you fall onto her lap once again while still clinging onto her neck, chest heaving deeply against hers at the same time.

She soon brings her fingers to put them in her mouth and shamelessly taste you, sucking and licking them clean with her tongue.

As she expected, you taste sweet and heavenly.

“My lady.” McQueen calls out to you and slightly pulls away to get a look at your face. You weakly look back at her, still trying to recover from the huge release you just had and she places a hand over your cheek to keep your face in place.

“Lovely, you truly are.”

 
You fall silent as you return her intense gaze with your confused one. Is she pertaining to herself? She’s probably just talking to herself while gazing at her image reflected through your orbs. She can’t be saying that to you when you’re looking like an utter mess but those thoughts are easily washed away when she speaks once again.

“Who knew you would be this lovely, (y/n)?”

The way she uttered your name with that beautiful voice of hers makes you shudder as you continue to leak down once again that you’ve also drenched McQueen’s pants. She chuckles fondly at the warm and damp sensation forming on her lap and you can only blush in absolute shame.

“And unexpectedly cute.”

Her attack of praises continues but you can only take her compliments as mere flattery and unable to take her seriously, so you slightly frown at her but with your cheeks evidently tainted in crimson red. “That’s enough…” You tiredly push her away to try and get away from her lap.

 
Enough of this act already, you’re sure McQueen is only driven by uncontrollable lust and that’s why she’s treating you this way.

Before you could escape though, her arms have already securely locked around your frame and you look at her in slight disbelief. “Who said we’re done?” She smiled at you, though slightly annoyed that you even considered getting away from her now. “Sit on my face.”

Sit on her what?

Her words catch you off guard and your face immediately heats up that you almost feel dizzy. It’s not helping that you’ve just had the biggest orgasm in your whole life and she wants you to do what now?

Sit on her face?

McQueen obviously won’t take no for an answer when she’s already removing the accessory off her face and you feel your heart skip a beat from seeing her visage without anything obstructing it. Are you really about to… sit on something so beautiful?

“Come.” McQueen pulls you with her when she lets herself fall to the mattress of your bed and you end up hovering on top of her. Her lips mold into a mysterious yet attractive smile before she abruptly pulls you down until your lips land on hers.

It’s a brief yet sensual kiss, enough to bring you both back to the mood. The way her tongue smoothly rolls over your bottom lip makes you want more but sadly, there’s another set of lips McQueen wants to desperately kiss right now. She spreads the smeared saliva along your bottom lip before she urges you to hover up to her face.

“Are you serious– I…!”

“I’ve never been any more serious in my whole life.” McQueen cuts you off, seemingly getting impatient. “Now shut up and shove that pussy up my face.”

McQueen always has a way with words but with the way she’s vulgarly expressing her desires right now, that’s how you know she’s really determined to get what she wants; that not a single bone in her body is joking. You bite down on your lower lip as you gaze into her eyes anxiously but she soon sends a confident smile your way. “Don’t be so nervous. I’ll make you feel good.”

If that’s an attempt to reassure you, it did kind of work. You surprisingly built up the courage to move and you didn’t miss the victorious grin on McQueen’s lips. Though filled with extreme shame, you’ve finally positioned yourself above her face and she takes her sweet time to admire the view right before her.

“Haha, how pretty.”

You can almost feel McQueen’s intense gaze on your cunt that’s fully exposed for her and somehow, that’s enough to arouse you more than you already are. An arm soon links around your thigh, locking it in place as she slightly pulls you down and you heave at the sensation of her warm breath tickling your pussy and it didn’t take long before a moan threatens to escape you.

McQueen’s tongue glides flat against your slick folds and that was enough to make you topple over and grab onto the sheets right above her head. But her hold around your thigh is firm and she keeps you rooted in place and seated on her face. She soon dives into your heat and another moan escapes you with the way her sharp nose brush against your clit.

“Mm…! Ha…”

The continuous moans and your tantalising scent only urge McQueen to do more, not that she thinks of stopping soon but knowing how much you’re taking pleasure into this boosts her up to make you feel even better, or better yet, the best you’ll ever have. To the point that it wouldn’t be enough if it isn’t her doing this to you. She wants you to need her. For what reason? That’s still something she has to find out.

 
A finger soon sneaks its way up to spread and open up your pussy, revealing the engorged, glistening clitoris that’s badly needing some attention. McQueen leaves some noisy kisses before taking the sensitive bud into her mouth to suck it fervently. Louder moans spill your mouth and you pull against the sheets of your bed at the sheer pleasure that you start  moving your hips irresistibly against her face.

While letting her mouth and tongue work its wonders against your sensitive pearl, her fingers soon shove into your sopping hole. As if the extreme pleasure you’re feeling with how McQueen is sucking, slurping and eating you out isn’t enough, she only intensifies the gratification by once again thrusting her dexterous fingers deep inside you.

McQueen groans into your pussy and you whimper as her voice vibrates against you but a whine soon escapes your lips when she suddenly pulls her fingers out, only for her to shove her tongue instead; the sudden sensation making you clench around her and she still manages to chuckle at your enthusiasm. Everything she does to you feel so new and so good. Your legs start closing and spasming against her cheeks as her tongue rolls and thrusts inside you; your loud, wanton moans reverberates in McQueen’s head and she would do just about anything to keep that noise coming.

You’ve become a moaning mess at her every ministration, your senses picking up on whatever she does—from gripping onto your thigh, thrusting her tongue inside you, and her fingers rubbing onto your pulsating clit—the way McQueen worshipped your body with her tongue and fingers has your stomach tightening.

 
You’re not lasting any longer. Chills run down to your whole body as a huge knot builds up intoxicatingly in your core and the way your hips jolt is enough confirmation that you are indeed close. “Mc…Queen…! McQueen…” Your mouth gapes as her name and your moans repeatedly escape you, your eyes slightly rolling up while you weakly grip onto your bedsheets.

McQueen maintains her pace until you’re basically trembling uncontrollably against her face from the excessive pleasure surging through your body. She helps you reach your high by continuously rubbing onto your clit and a shamelessly loud moan escapes you as you finally spurt out warm liquids into her mouth. She most gladly and almost greedily takes it all in, slurping and drinking it like it was water.

Her face is an absolute mess, wet and sweet with both your arousal and her sweat, and while you still have your senses in tact, you fall over the side of the bed with your remaining strength. Your second biggest orgasm somehow just happened on the same day as your first, just how are you going to recover from this? You can only hope you’ll have enough energy to meet Enfer tomorrow.

You could barely make out of what’s happening anymore as your consciousness gradually begins to fade but you feel McQueen get up from your bed and walk to your bedside. Her finger gently glides down your back and that’s enough to somewhat lull you to sleep and you pass out almost immediately.

“You’re truly full of surprises.” McQueen quietly says then she bends down just to place soft kisses along your exposed nape down to your shoulder blade. “Sweet dreams, my lady.”

Chapter Text

How many days have passed? Ever since that night you got lecherously drilled and devoured by the beautiful artist of that painting in your room, who also happened to be living next door and someone you’ve probably accidentally hurt in the past.

There was a lot to unpack after you woke up the next day. Self-reflecting didn’t even do you any good and the only conclusion you’ve arrived to is that you were simply horny. You weren’t even drunk. There’s no other explanation for the behaviour you’ve shown that night. If you really didn’t want it to happen, you wouldn’t let it happen.

But the sad truth is that, nothing really happened after that mind-blowing incident and surprisingly, you’re able to easily adapt and instill to yourself that it wasn’t special. McQueen treated you the same after you’ve bumped into her in the elevator. The only thing that changed is that she was less hostile.

When McQueen looked and smiled at you so casually, it wasn’t difficult to accept that what happened was a one-time thing and was only caused by raging, intense desire and infatuation that immediately dwindled afterwards. That was the most normal outcome. You know she dislikes you and you’re not that much of a fool to suddenly catch feelings but you’re also aware that somewhere deep inside you, you were hoping for something different from what you expected.

Maybe you should just be thankful with the fact that she isn’t emanating that much hostility as compared back then. 

There is one more thing that’s been bothering you, though. It’s the way your chest would slightly tighten whenever you see McQueen escort a woman out of her door, both of them looking worn and fucked out—just like how you were that day. You hate how you have to witness that from time to time, or how you hear distant noises out in the corridor every time McQueen brings in another woman.

Ah, the innocent maiden got played by her good-looking, promiscuous neighbour. Quite cliché if you think about it.

You shouldn’t have let her in. She shouldn’t have held you like she wanted you. And the most despicable part about it is how everything lives in your mind, rent free. Her face, her voice, her touch—everything. Everything replays in your mind like a film you’ve repeatedly watched and have perfectly memorised its each and every detailed content.

“Shit.” You curse under your breath as you harshly slash the palette knife through the canvas.

Again. You’ve done it again. Once you get your mind preoccupied with that neighbour of yours, only her portrait ends up getting drawn on your canvas. You’re not mad because it’s McQueen, you’re mad because of how you’ve been gradually getting even more terrible with expressing yourself through painting. Would you even call this her portrait? It’s downright hideous that it scares you and you always end up ruining everything with your own hands.

Is it too late to wish that you could go back to the good old and carefree days where painting was your happiness and solace? Not like this… Not when everything your hand creates only worsens the ever growing void in your heart.

Just how much more miserable are you going to be?

“Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.”

Weeks have passed and there’s a sudden offer from a film director that they wanted to use Enfer’s art museum as a venue for a film they’re working on. You’ve been asked by Enfer herself to attend to them instead. Truthfully, you haven’t been in a proper mood ever since and perhaps, this would be a good opportunity to actually occupy yourself.

Enfer chose to stay in her studio for her classes and she gave you permission to get some rest because of how you’ve been constantly messing up while assisting her. This time, she asked you to take charge by touring the director and her team around the museum. It would have been better if the owner herself would show them around and you would take on the studio instead but, it seems like you aren’t in the right condition to even substitute Enfer and Enfer doesn’t really like dealing with troublesome stuff.

And you know what? You now understand why. This director is just way too much for you and your social battery has long been dried out.

You’ve been showing the director and her team around the huge museum and you can’t even count how much you’ve reminded them to be careful and not get unnecessarily close, and only observe Enfer’s work at an appropriate distance, but this director would just sometimes shove her face up close and it would truly scare the hell out of you.

“My, you look tired. Shall we rest for a bit?” The director asks you with genuine concern in her eyes.

“Haha… Yes.”

It didn’t occur to you that you’ll get to rest any time soon but you’re quite glad of your appearance that looks like the world has given up on you. Else, the director wouldn’t even probably suggest resting. They asked you to sit amongst them but you politely refused and excused yourself that you would be making a call. You pretended to be on your phone for awhile until you’re finally out of their sight.

“Finally, some peace and quiet.” You rasp out as you walk around the huge hallway. Thank the heavens there aren’t any people around and you’re finally able to breathe. That director sure sucked you dry of your remaining energy when you already barely had some. You can only wish this is the last time you’ll ever have to talk to her that much.

She is pretty, though. Really pretty. She looks quite young, too. You’re not well-versed about films and stuff but she seems to be a big shot with how others have recognised her. A scoff escapes you. Just why do you keep getting surrounded by talented people?

As you walk around, you reach where Sosia is located. Sosia is Enfer’s grandest and greatest sculpture that depicts a woman with one eye and four arms while hugging a bouquet of blue flowers close to herself. It just never fails to amaze you. You’re really glad you’re privileged enough to get to see Enfer’s work for free.

“Oh? Look who’s here.”

Just when you’re calming down by looking at Enfer’s magnificent work of art, it immediately turns a 180 upon hearing the sudden voice. There’s no way you wouldn’t know who owns that voice and the unexpectedness only makes your heart race so fast. You turn your head to look for where the voice comes from and your eyes widen in surprise. Not because it really is McQueen…

But because Lisa is also there.

Contrasting emotions start to surge into you and you immediately decide to bury all those feelings deep inside where it wouldn’t affect you or what you do. It’s not like you’re not used to suppressing your emotions, anyway. So, a smile immediately paints over your lips the moment you see them.

“It’s good to see you two.” You calmly say as you slightly dip your head to acknowledge them and Lisa does the same.

Of all times, you had to meet them now. You’re still not sure how you would approach Lisa this time and you really don’t want to bring up the first time you actually met her because that is the very day you’ve been trying your very best to forget.

McQueen only smiles as she attentively observes you. You looked absolutely stressed out but all is good. After all, you really are stressed because of a certain someone and you’re proud to say it isn’t all because of McQueen.

“You’re here. Does that mean Enfer is here, too?” Lisa asks as she walks to stand next to you, her gaze straight to Sosia and her calm yet pleased expression says that she really likes Enfer’s work.

Lisa is known to be a very strict art critic and Enfer is only one of the few people she actually praised for being unique. You just hope she never sees what you’ve been doing or you’ll lose face the moment she speaks on your art.

You like Lisa, though. Sure, she has a sharp tongue but that doesn’t erase her talent and passion in arts. Her original work Butterfly will continue to be one of your favourites. It’s just a waste now that she’s unable to paint anymore due to the car accident.

You soon shake your head in response to her question. “Enfer is in her studio. She asked me to do something for her here, so…”

Lisa only hums with a light nod of her head. She gives you a glance before looking ahead once again. Truth is, she’s also not sure how to talk to you but seeing how there’s less unpleasant tension between you and McQueen, she’s quite glad. The problem is, she already knows what happened after she left that day when McQueen told her everything in extreme, unnecessary detail.

She honestly feels bad for you. Getting caught up with McQueen’s affairs isn’t exactly the best thing, after all. But she’s glad you’re holding up just fine. She’s already witnessed so many ladies that broke down because of McQueen. She also became a target of unnecessary jealousy because of their closeness. Well, the only reason why Lisa lets McQueen stick with her is because she’s the only one who can put up with the art critic’s sharp tongue.

“It’s been getting harder and harder to see you these days even though we live right next to each other. It makes me feel quite lonely.” McQueen soon speaks in a sulking tone as she gingerly stands next to your other side.

Of course, it would be. Because you’ve been actively trying to avoid bumping into her with the best of your abilities. “Right.” You let out an apologetic laugh. You weren’t sorry at all.

McQueen turns to you with a relaxed smile and you quite didn’t like the feeling you’re getting off of it. “How about we get some drinks and catch up in my place today? The three of us.” She suggests and Lisa didn’t even hide her annoyance by clicking her tongue and rolling her eyes. “Come on! It’s been a while since you’ve visited, too.”

You want to reject. You really want to reject but for some reason, your tongue stays frozen and unable to come up with an excuse. If you could just openly express yourself like Lisa does then maybe your life would be a little better. With a quiet sigh, you just decide to helplessly accept until a pair of arms suddenly wrap around your neck from behind and a gasp escapes you.

“Found you, Enfer’s assistant.”

The director?

You turn to confirm your thoughts and there she is, the director smiling down at you. Somehow, you feel a bit comforted. “Director…” You carefully remove her arms away from you and suddenly, an idea strikes up to you. A way to reject McQueen’s invitation. “Ah, right. I can’t today.” You soon angle your head to look at McQueen.

“I have plans with the director.”

“Deren?” Lisa’s eyes widen upon seeing the said director, looking visibly shocked to see her around. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, if it isn’t Lisa and McQueen. You two are inseparable as always.” Deren greets with a smile as she casually pulls you to her side to sling her her arm around your shoulder despite you removing them the first time.

McQueen falls silent for a moment as the two start to catch up but she soon gives Deren a smile. “Fancy seeing you here.”

You want to escape. Who would have known these people are acquainted with each other? You’re the sole outsider here and there’s nothing more you want to do but just leave. Seems like getting the director to your side is a failure. She probably won’t play along with you.

Deren catches on with your discomfort so she slightly pats at your shoulder and you shift your focus on her. “Were you talking about something important?”

“No.” You immediately reply with a shake of your head.

“Ah, then I’ll be taking her now!” Deren cheerfully says as she looks at McQueen and Lisa. “After all, we’ve made plans.”

There was a hint of playfulness with the way she emphasised her words but you could really care less about it sounding like a poor excuse when she already decided to play along with you and that’s all that matters to you.

“Sure, it seems important.” McQueen says with her eyes glued on you. You can feel her gaze piercing right through you and that’s why you really can’t look back at her because the moment you do, you would immediately give yourself away.

“See you.” Lisa waves her hand at both of you and Deren as she basically drags you away.

And the moment you and Deren turn your backs at them, McQueen’s expression almost immediately turns sullen and Lisa easily catches onto it.

“I warned you,” Lisa says with a sigh. “Stop playing around.”

“I wasn’t quite informed that we’ve made plans! Would you be so kind to enlighten me about it?”

After showing them around, Deren has basically stuck herself to you and you can just assume she has a habit of wrapping an arm around people’s shoulders because she’s doing it again. The thing is, you really didn’t have the heart to push her away now when you’ve used her for your own agenda.

You can only put up with her teasing when she knows full and well you’re just making excuses to get away from McQueen and Lisa.

“I thought you disliked me.” Deren suddenly says and you look at her, confused. Where did that come from? “I mean, you barely talked to me and you were so serious all the time. Makes me think I’ve annoyed you without my knowledge.”

She quite did.

But it’s not her fault. You’re just not good at dealing with people like her.

You soon shake your head a little. “I don’t dislike you. I’m just a little tired.”

It’s obvious. The bags under your eyes already give it away and your eyes look as dead as the calm seas during the night. A hum escapes Deren as she observes you. She feels bad now that you have to put up with her the whole day so she suddenly comes up with an idea.

She soon leans in to you with a huge and attractive smile on her beautiful face. “Shall we take our plans seriously, then?” She suggests with a wink. A wink so sexy that it’s enough to melt the hearts of any living and existing being.

Yours included, without a doubt.

What’s there to lose? Maybe you can de-stress a little with her. Although you’re unsure about what kind of plan she has in mind. Maybe anything should be fine. Anything should be fine as long as you get to erase the image of McQueen in your head and the fact that you felt bitter seeing her with Lisa just a while ago.

A movie theatre…?

You didn’t expect her to bring you to watch a movie. Isn’t this like one of the most famous dating spots for couples? You blush but you immediately shake that hollow thought away. She’s so kind to bring you somewhere to relax but here you are, jumping into conclusions.

“Ta-dah!” Deren finally comes back to you while holding tickets in her hands with a few snacks and drinks too, and you immediately give her a hand to hold them. “Hmm, are you good with any genres?”

“As long as it’s not gore…” You say with a slight grimace on your face. It’s not that you hate them, you enjoy horror movies but not the excessive gore where it’s all bloodshed and dismembering body parts. You always feel nauseous when you get a glimpse of them.

Deren lets out a snort before cracking into a fit of lighthearted laughter. “Sheesh, why would I bring my date to watch gore? That’s so not romantic.”

“I know, right!” You freely laugh alongside her before your eyes immediately widen and your cheeks heat up at the belated realisation. “Wait wha–?!”

“Ahaha! You’re quite slow, miss.” A genuine laugh escapes Deren this time and she soon reaches out to your hand to hold it in hers and a somewhat sly smile graces her lips. “You’re basically the one who asked me out, though.”

Upon her words, you instantly feel flustered but you try to argue, “I was just–!”

“Just messing with you.” Deren cuts you off, still wearing a smile that’s definitely getting on your nerves but can’t have the guts to get mad at her when she looks that fine. Yes, pretty privilege is truly a thing and Deren is a perfect example for it.

Just then, she leans in a little bit too close to you that her lips are only inches away from your ear. “It’s still a date, though.”

Deren is truly a wonder. A mysterious indie director who you found annoying but somewhat saved you from being in an awkward situation. It’s too early to judge how she is but she seems harmless at most. But you never thought she would be the type to flirt with you so openly.

From walking to watching the whole film, Deren keeps her hand attached to yours. You never knew it could be somewhat comforting to have your hand held constantly, like you were actually needed. You’re not assuming that Deren needs you and she probably just does it unconsciously when she’s completely engrossed with the film you two are watching.

Her hand holding yours helped you calm down but the movie sure doesn’t. It was disturbing and explicit in some parts that you end up feeling somewhat hot. It doesn’t help that you’ve recently experienced the feeling of being touched and held in such way that you’ve been yearning for the same warmth.

You must be rotten to the core. Or not. Surely, everyone goes through this. That’s how you manage to reason out with your crumbling rationale.

 
It was truly a good film though. Which is a pleasant surprise for you. The explicit parts weren’t forced just to suit the taste of some audiences but it was necessary to build up the relationship of the characters. You have no idea what the exact genre was, though. Sure, the protagonists were in love but the other had too much of a fucked up background and personality to just consider it as romance. Psychological, probably?

 
Whatever it is, it was really good. If it were available in a digital video disc, you would definitely get yourself a copy.

Directed by:
Deren.

 
Your eyes immediately widen as the credits roll and you slowly turn your head to look at the director herself, then she instantly looks at you with a smug smile.

“So, how was it?”

Why is she asking the obvious? It was amazing. The way everything was portrayed was perfect. Maybe your opinion as someone who knows nothing about films wouldn’t matter to a professional like her but, if you find something beautiful then no one can tell you otherwise.

Deren, the annoying indie director who saved your pathetic ass turned out to be a real talented genius.

No wonder she’s well-known. 

 
“Aren’t I lucky? Having such a talented director as my first date?”

You feel quite giddy. Sure, she said that it’s a date but you know she’s just being casual about it, too. It isn’t supposed to be serious due to how really sudden it is and Deren has been great at playing her role so you decide to play along, too.

But somehow, you got the ever-confident director blushing to her ears and looking quite flustered.

It isn’t about the compliment. It isn’t about the way you admitted she’s your first date. It’s the way you smiled at her, so attractively and mesmerising that you had her bewitched right in an instant.

Seems like you just have a talent for unintentionally charming people.

Deren immediately clears her throat and tears her gaze away from you, the heat on her cheeks seemingly unable to cool down. “You… Have you considered acting? That’s some serious skills you have.”

Well, that’s to be expected. Since you’ve been acting your whole life now. You don’t even remember the time you were true to yourself or anyone else. But now that you think about it, your father was a stage actor. He must have rubbed off a bit of his talent on you.

“Oh, am I being scouted?” You continue on with your playful acts and you lean a bit closer to her with a teasing grin.

Deren immediately stands up and keeps her face away from your sight and the way she’s become so easily flustered endears you. She’s definitely the perfect example of a glass cannon. All attacks and no defense at all.

“Let’s go…! It’s getting quite late.”

Though Deren was feeling quite shy, the two of you still got out of the movie theatre hand in hand and you can’t stop but think how adorable she is. If you knew she’s this easy to tease, you wouldn’t probably find her so annoying awhile ago.

“Will you really be fine going home alone?”

The director looks at you worriedly. It’s gotten really late and you insisted on going back alone. You’re not about to inconvenience someone to send you home when you’re a grown adult who’s fully capable of handling yourself.

“You want to personally send your date back home so bad?” You turn your head to smile at her. Though unaware that the smile you’ve given Deren is almost suggestive that a certain nerve in her snapped.

She soon stops walking which makes you stop your tracks, too. Then you look at her, confused, but only for you to be shoved against the wall and her expression seems like she’s both really pissed and amused at the same time.

“You’re enjoying this too much, aren’t you, miss?” Deren looms you down under her inexplicable gaze and you sure are regretting your life choices so fast.

“Ah… haha…” You could only force a laugh as you nervously look at her. She’s way too close that you can get a whiff of her cologne that actually smells really good. Though you should probably stop focusing on other things and try to calm the woman in front of you first. “I’m… I’m sorry.” You gaze at her straight in the eyes, trying your best to put on your most apologetic expression.

But somehow, that apology had a different effect from what you expected.

“Are you doing this on purpose, hm?” Deren leans even closer into you, not even minding how the two of you are in a public space and your cheeks immediately heat up as her forehead rests onto yours. “Are you sure you’re able to take responsibility for provoking me?” Her hand that’s holding yours slowly slides its way up to your face to lift your chin up as a mischievous smile molds her lips.

What did you do now? You’ve apologised, didn’t you?

“D-Director? I…” You stutter under your breath and you can only close your eyes shut as she leans in further. No way, she’s going to kiss you right now? Outside? With people walking around?

You are bracing yourself from whatever is going to happen but you only feel a soft sensation brush the tip of your nose and you slowly flutter your eyes open to see a Deren who’s grinning widely at you.

“What? Did my date want a passionate kiss instead?”

An evident blush immediately forms across your cheeks; she’s teasing you and you’ve foolishly fallen for it. Deren is as crafty as she seems but she’s definitely in another level when she almost seemed really serious. She says you’re good at acting but here she is, effortlessly beating you at your own game.

The two of you soon walk to the station and Deren still keeps you company as you wait for the bus and you spent some time getting to know more about her and how great she is. It makes you really think how lucky you are to meet such a person. After all, you don’t get to meet people like her everyday. 

With time, the bus finally arrives and that’s your cue to go. Deren finally lets go of your hand, albeit hesitantly. But before you could get inside the bus, she slightly pulls you back again and she leans against your ear.

“I had fun.” She softly whispers and you turn your head to look at her with widened eyes but a genuine smile almost immediately forms upon your lips.

“I did, too. Thank you, director.”

You finally got home. Truly, it was a long day. From basically touring people in Enfer’s museum, meeting McQueen and Lisa out of nowhere to having an unplanned date with Deren. At the very least though, your day’s ending well because of that director.

Or so, you thought.

“Had fun, my lady?”

A certain, familiar figure is leaning against the wall next to your door and you feel your heart drop the moment your eyes meet hers. There it is again, the extreme hostility burning in her eyes.

“McQueen…?”

Chapter Text

Why is McQueen standing there all alone? And why is she looking at you like that?

Just when you thought your day is ending well, a mere neighbour’s gaze shatters that idea in a flash. She isn’t even transparently glaring at you, it’s the plain ominous energy she’s giving out.

“Had fun, my lady?”

You did, very much so. Though that fun sure is short-lived now that you’re back to reality and everything that has happened seems like a fleeting dream. Yeah, right. Just what did you do now? You kind of wish you could just cut McQueen’s skull in half in hopes of seeing what’s inside that complicated head of hers.

“McQueen…”

The way your voice came out sounded tired. You didn’t intend for it to sound that way and you can only hope McQueen does not take it the wrong way. But with the way she dejectedly lowers her head after you say her name, it seems like she already did.

That somewhat made you want to clear it up right away. There’s really no need, but you just can’t stand any more negativity between the two of you. Your relationship with each other is already extremely vague. Not even friends nor lovers. You have lingering guilt and she seems to have some lingering hatred towards you. Yet, the two of you had ended up in bed.

There’s just so much to think and talk about but the two of you choose to silently push the actual issue away and neither of you would try to bring it up.

You admit, though. None of these would probably be happening only if you didn’t impulsively buy McQueen’s painting or if you didn’t move in next to her. But how could you have ever controlled the latter? It’s pretty much the universe that has something against you.

McQueen suddenly staggers even when she’s leaning against the wall and in instinct, you immediately approach her to hold onto her arm and support her.

She faintly reeks of alcohol.

“You’re drunk…? Why are you out here?”

McQueen lazily tilts her head up a little to look at you, her hostile gaze long gone and her eyes are now somewhat filled with unexpected vulnerability. As you stand close to her, her arms naturally envelop your waist into a loose hug and only a gasp escapes you after she successfully traps you in her embrace.

“Why… You ask? I was waiting for you.” The seemingly drunk woman answers without a hint of hesitation, her faded gaze straight into your eyes. “Why are you back so late? Was it so fun being with De– ugh…”

A wave of nausea hits McQueen and she teeters towards you. You immediately wrap your arms around her body as her head hangs over your shoulder then you let out a quiet sigh. This is how your day’s going end, huh? Taking care of your drunk neighbour.

You end up having to bring McQueen back inside her place and for some reason, you feel like you’ve been lured into a trap when she’s able to walk herself after the two of you got inside. You intend to leave right away but she insists you to stay and now you’re just sitting awkwardly on her couch as you observe the unfamiliar setting.

Blue.

Blue.

And blue.

Almost everything is blue. To be exact, it’s just not your typical blue, it’s Klein Blue. From her curtains, couch, to her mats, carpets, and decorations… they’re in Klein Blue. Now that you think about it, you’ve also seen her wearing clothes in that colour quite a lot. You sort of find it both amusing and adorable that one could be so fixated in one colour that they wouldn’t mind seeing it everywhere.

Still, you did not expect less from McQueen. While everything is almost blue, the way her interior is set up is just as elegant as how she outwardly carries herself. In stark contrast with that debauched lifestyle of hers, though. You can only wonder how the women she brought in reacted to this and realising that she never runs out of them already says that they do not mind.

A scoff almost escapes you.

Why did that thought bother you?

McQueen soon comes back from her kitchen with a bottle of wine and glasses in her hands before she sits right next to you—awfully close right next to you and you instantly freeze in your position. Has she not had enough alcohol? Why is she drinking more when she already seems sober? Also, why are there two glasses?

She starts pouring an adequate amount of wine in each glass before giving one to you with a languid smile on her face, a face that wouldn’t take no for an answer so you can only helplessly take it.

“Drink with me, alright?” McQueen quietly says before sipping on her glass, a soft hum escaping her after. “I’m still quite upset you chose Deren over me.”

Her sudden statement makes your eyes widen a little, confused and surprised that she would say something like that. Why would she be upset? No, why did it even matter? Those are the questions you keep asking yourself as you ignore the fact that your face is feeling warmer when you haven’t even sipped on your wine yet.

“You’re not drinking?” The woman beside you asks, her tone a little sulky. But before you can answer, she already takes the glass from you and places both of your glasses on the coffee table in front. Then she leans back comfortably and pats at her lap after. “Come here.” She looks at you with a smile.

Huh?

If you thought your eyes couldn’t get any bigger then you thought wrong. The disbelief glinting in your eyes is apparent and McQueen only continues to smile at you as she pats her lap while you’re just sitting there and looking at her, completely bewildered. What does she think of you, some kind of pet?

“What are you…?” You can’t even construct the proper words to ask or say and you try to convince yourself that maybe she’s still drunk after all, so she’s hopefully not serious.

“Come on.”

She is serious.

You can just reject if you really want to. At the very least, you should have sipped on your wine first so you can just blame your actions on the alcohol but, no. Maybe it’s time to admit that you’re just naturally drawn to McQueen and that’s something you can’t deny any longer.

McQueen gently pulls your arm and you readily straddle her lap, your pressed bodies almost making your heart explode in sheer bliss. The instant relief that’s washing over you, like this is something you’ve been waiting for to happen, scares you a little. Just how much has McQueen pulled you in her inescapable grasp?

Your arms instinctively wrap around her neck and her hand squeezes your side while the other rests on your reddened cheek. Then she gazes straight into your eyes, expression inscrutable.

“Stop spending too much time with Deren…” She softly says as her thumb strokes through the surface of your cheek.

 
The mention of the director makes your gaze waver. Why is she suddenly bringing up Deren? Even if McQueen says that, you’re still bound to meet Deren from time to time once they start filming in Enfer’s museum because you have to be there to look after them.

 
But why does it matter if you spend time with Deren, anyway? Why can’t you spend time with someone you genuinely enjoyed being with?

“I don’t like it.”

“What…?”

McQueen gives you a smile. “You avoided me and instead spent time with Deren. I don’t like it.” She clarifies even though you understood it the first time. Your question was mostly confusion as to why she would feel that way. “I’m asking you to stop spending too much time with her. Or… did she make you feel good?”

The sudden question flusters you but the way her eyes glint at your reaction immediately brings a shiver down your spine.

“Oh. She did? Better than I?” Her cold voice only worsens your nervousness, then she brings her face close to yours with her hand easily slipping under your shirt, fingers splaying against the bare skin of your back. “Tell me, was she better?”

“We didn’t do anything!” You counter right away, your voice raising. The way she’s acting slightly scares you and for some reason, you felt desperate to clear it up immediately. “We aren’t like that…”

Why are you even explaining this to her? It seems pointless but you still did, anyway.

“But you’re avoiding me. Do you hate what happened between us that much?” McQueen suddenly asks, her voice laced with dejection as she searches your eyes that are looking elsewhere but her own ones. “… Do you hate me?”

It should have been you asking that. Between the two of you, she’s obviously the one who has something against you but despite that certainty, you just can’t bring yourself to ask her the same question. Because what you’re actually afraid of is hearing the truth that she indeed does hate you.

McQueen is unfair. She truly is.

“I could never hate you.” You answer in slight annoyance. McQueen knows you’re getting mad but she still continues to ask you questions that have obvious answers and you’re the fool who lets her get her way on you.

She soon cups your cheek to get you to look at her once again and once you do, she leans in for a chaste kiss on your lips, it was so soft that it almost seem like it didn’t happen. Despite the anger building up, your cheeks helplessly burn at the sensation.

“Will you do what I ask, then? Will you stop meeting Deren?”

“It’s… impossible.” You answer with a soft sigh and McQueen’s eyes visibly widen in surprise. “We’ll end up having to see each other in the museum because of her work… and I have to be there. Unless Enfer takes on it.”

McQueen was worried for a second. She almost thought you’re refusing to follow her but knowing there’s a valid reason why you can’t do exactly as she says, a quiet sigh of relief escapes her. Should she contact Enfer herself? Or will that be a bit too much?

Still, she can’t have you spending time with Deren carelessly.

“Can you try not to spend too much time with her?” There’s that hint of vulnerability glinting in McQueen’s beautiful amber orbs once again as she asks that and before you distract yourself and get lost in those eyes of hers, you soon frown at her a little.

 
“You’re being unfair.” You immediately retort.

 
The way this neighbour of yours is behaving right now truly confuses you. She sleeps with so many women but when you spend time with one, she suddenly restricts you?

McQueen briefly breaks eye contact, only for her to divert her gaze down to your lips before returning them to your eyes once again and a smile faintly appears across her face. “Hm? Why am I unfair?”

 
Is she seriously asking that?

 
Pissed, you frown even deeper. “Why am I not allowed to spend time with the director when you sleep with almost everyone you see!” You try to be calm but you end up raising your voice once again and despite that little outburst of yours, the woman you’re sitting on only chuckles which heightens you anger. “You–!”

 
“So, tell me what to do.” McQueen cuts you off, her thumb now brushing down to your lower lip with her smile turning sly. “Tell me, I’ll do anything you want.”

 
Slowly, your eyes widen in realisation. No way you just said those words. You made it obvious that you’ve been bothered about what McQueen has been doing up to now and she easily reveals the feelings you’ve been trying your best to deny and bury deep down inside you.

 
“Were you jealous, hm?” She asks, as if the way you got mad didn’t already give you away. But what about her? Isn’t she also jealous that you’re spending time with Deren or is it simply a bait to make you tell what you feel?

 
“I was not!” You strongly deny as you lean away from her, pushing her back against her shoulders. McQueen is definitely just playing with you and all you want to do is get away from her before you make a bigger fool out of yourself. But, no. She’s not letting you off so easily until you say the words she’s eager to hear. “I wasn’t jealous at all…”

 
McQueen has been biting back a smile. The situation is clearly in her favour now but she just needs a little more push and she knows you’ll eventually spill everything to her.

“I am, though. I’m jealous of Deren.” She admits blatantly as her arms tightly secure around your waist to keep you in place. “So, tell me… What do you want me to do?”

 
She soon takes one of your hands that’s gripping firmly on her shoulder just to place it against her cheek and succumb into its warmth, then she turns her head a little to give your palm a soft kiss. All the while she’s gazing straight into your eyes and waiting for your answer.

You nervously bite down on your lip, just watching McQueen do all that brings your face and body into heat and you being the subject of such affection undeniably excites you. You can only drop your gaze down to look away from her but she makes it impossible by closing into you, her face right in front of yours. A hand gently pulls at your nape and your lips faintly touch hers once again. Hesitation fills your eyes but she only smiles, as if she’s encouraging you to just be honest.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll stop… Just say the word. I’m under your command.” McQueen drawls out, her words slow and almost sensual while her fingers drum against the base of your neck.

Her words render you speechless and confusion continues to eat you up. This vague relationship frustrates you and yet, you are so helpless. You have zero control over what’s happening. Why is she setting selfish boundaries for you? And why does she want you to set some for her as well?

But… if she stops, does that mean you will no longer feel the sting in your heart when you see her with another woman? Will that make you feel better? Will McQueen… only look at you?

It’s tempting. It surely is tempting. And you’re the clueless fool who recklessly bites the bait.

With a quiet sigh, you look at her warily and then she slightly nods her head to urge you to talk. “I… don’t like it…” You speak softly under your breath.

A rather huge smile plasters over McQueen’s face right after your words then she places a hand over your cheek while gazing straight into your eyes. “Good girl,” she coos and you immediately feel your cheeks burn as your heart skips a beat at the sudden praise. That isn’t the response you’re expecting but for some reason, you feel elated. “Then, as promised. I’ll stop.”

 
Is this really fine? You’re not even dating so why bother do this? Just what is the point of all this when there’s no actual commitment between the two of you? Just two people having unstable emotions of jealousy and possessiveness? Where will this even lead both of you?

But despite all those questions, a sense of relief still washes down at your heart. You’ve just realised how much her actions have affected you until now. Since you’ve been making yourself believe that you didn’t care but in fact, you did care. A lot. To the point where it became hard to see McQueen and that’s why you deliberately avoided her.

Why?

Are you in love with her? Surely, not. For someone like you, love is a luxury. An emotion so pure yet could bring the worst out of people at the same time… you’re someone who will never be able to understand such an intricate feeling. And it’s probably for the best that you do not, because how can you love someone else when you cannot even love yourself?

“Then, about Deren…” McQueen pauses for a second to search your eyes, gazing at you in hopes you would agree of what she’ll ask for. “It’s impossible not to meet her, I know… but I want you for myself, okay? Don’t let her get too close to you.” She says, her hand resting on your cheek while she pulls you closer by your waist.

How is she saying all that without getting embarrassed at all? How is it so easy for her to make your heart flutter in the first place? Sure, it was your first time with her but you did have an experience in a romantic relationship. Hearing flowery words like that shouldn’t be affecting you so much, but somehow she manages every word that comes out from her mouth to have a certain effect on you.

“Is it a no…?”

The obvious dejection laced in her tone makes you chuckle quietly and you see her pout a little. As McQueen said, it’s impossible but it’s also not impossible not to spend time with Deren. Just don’t spend some time with her like you did awhile ago, but remembering how much you actually had fun somewhat saddens you. While Deren can be hard to deal with, you genuinely also enjoyed her company.

But perhaps, you just care more about how McQueen would feel.

“I’ll do as you say.” You give her a soft smile, then you cup her cheeks with your hands. “I promise.”

Though you probably shouldn’t have made such a promise so carelessly. While you can control your actions around Deren, will you be able to control hers?

It’s the director. She’s still someone you originally can’t deal with.

“You’re changing Luvia?! Why?!”

“Your voice is too loud.” Deren covers an ear with her pinky with a slightly annoyed face but a cunning smile almost immediately appears on her lips as she scans through the script. “I finally found the perfect protagonist for this one.”

“It’s a good thing we haven’t contacted Luvia yet! Just imagine how rough things could be if you suddenly changed your mind halfway after we cast her!” One of Deren’s assistants says exaggeratedly before looking at the director curiously. “Who is it anyway? Will they even accept this?”

Deren falls silent in thought and for a second, her gaze turns slightly cold. “You know… his daughter.”

“You…”

The director only smiles at her assistant before she runs her tongue down her lower lip. “Haha. This will be a masterpiece.”

“Display those in that section.”

The helper nods with a bright smile. “You’re including your daughter’s work in your exhibition?”

Your mother also smiles but somehow, a chill runs down on the helper’s spine upon the sight of it. “That is mine. It’s obviously my work.” She points at the pamphlet that has the name of the artist written. “Crosselle, it says. Can’t you read?”

The way her eyes glint deviously betrays the soft and friendly tone of way she’s speaking and the helper only anxiously nods her head in agreement. “I’m sorry, it’s just that it looks like–”

“You’ve seen that girl’s work?”

“J-Just once, ma’am…” The helper answers nervously.

Crosselle chuckles softly, a hand going over her lips to hide the nefarious grin appearing on her face. ”Interesting. You do know how that girl admires me that she would copy anything I make.” She casually says.

“That’s just how kids are. Adorable, aren’t they?”

The helper could only chuckle as she nods her head awkwardly. Perhaps it’s best to humour her for now but the gravest mistake has already been done—it’s the moment she mentioned you.

“I hope this conversation stays between the two of us, hm?” Your mother smiles dearly at the helper before placing a hand over her shoulder and squeezing it gently. ”Take care, miss helper.”

Ah, she’s doomed.

Chapter Text

It’s a seemingly cozy and peaceful afternoon, and you’re sprawled on the floor, sketching on a paper with different colours of crayons. Why does it seem like your art has become childish?

 
“As expected of my daughter!”

The sudden voice surprises you but your face immediately lights up upon his words. A kind looking man smiles at you as you get lifted in his arms, then he spins you around and soft giggles automatically escape your lips.

That’s definitely a child’s voice.

Is this me…?

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been able to spend time with you.” His kind voice turns a little melancholic and you gaze at his eyes that look tired but brimming with passion. “But I’ve been casted to play an important role, are you proud of me?”

The little girl which seems to be you nods enthusiastically as your small and short arms wrap around the kind man’s neck. “Papa is the best!”

Papa…?

“Haha! I know, right?” The man laughs gleefully as he carefully rocks you in his arms. “You’ll grow up to be such a talented lady, too. Just look at that drawing, you really got it from your mother…” His voice trails off and his eyes noticeably droop at the mention of your mother.

Mother…? That mother…?

“Where is mama…?” A curious pair of eyes looks straight into the man’s wavering ones and a rueful smile spreads upon his lips and you tilt your head to the side.

“Your mother is…”

Static noises begin to ring in your head and as much as you want to know what he’s saying, you couldn’t hear a thing he’s uttering anymore even as his lips continue to move. Along that, the place starts to distort and the kind man’s face slowly gets swallowed in the darkness.

No… Not yet…!

Just like that, you wake up. Your eyes open abruptly and you soon realise it’s just a dream. Is it really just a dream or a memory you’ve long forgotten? You can barely make out of your father’s face anymore.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

A voice greets you and this time, you’re really waken up to your senses. These blue sheets you’re laid on definitely aren’t yours and you sit up to see McQueen in front of an easel, seemingly painting something. The sound of her palette knife scraping on the canvas is probably the noise that woke you up.

“Have I been sleeping for long?” You ask as you look around for a clock and you see one hung on the wall at the side. It’s almost afternoon and your eyes widen immediately. “Why did you not wake me up…?”

McQueen only hums in satisfaction as she gazes at the painted canvas and doesn’t bother answering your question. Instead, she turns the easel to you and your jaw drops instantly. “How is it?”

You’re not exactly sure of what to feel seeing your own sleeping portrait on the canvas and the fact that it’s McQueen who painted it. Embarrassment immediately fills you up and the most you could do was hide and cover yourself under her blankets and you hear her chuckle while her footsteps sound like she’s approaching you.

“Aww, are you feeling shy?” Her teasing voice only worsens your embarrassment. Just who wouldn’t feel shy? You were sleeping and unaware that she’s been staring at you and then painting you this whole time. The painting is absolutely stunning but did you really look like that while sleeping?

How does McQueen even see you?

You peek your head out to frown at McQueen and she sits at the edge of the bed before reaching out to softly brush her fingers through your messed up locks. “Give me a break. I was in the mood last night but you just slept on me.” She says and your cheeks immediately burn.

“I–” You try to recall what happened. You two had a long talk and after that… you must have fallen asleep after what seemed to be an eternity of making out. “I was tired… I could barely keep my eyes open.”

“Then we’re even, aren’t we?” She grins down at you.

Even about what? How does painting you without your consent even relate to you falling asleep or her being in the mood? Though thinking about it, if this is just your penalty for falling asleep on her then maybe it isn’t so bad. Yeah, it’s not bad at all.

“Now take off your clothes.”

Huh?

You must be having some hearing problems. There’s no way you heard that right. A nervous laugh escapes you and you shake your head in denial. “What did you say…?”

McQueen blinks and points to her own clothes. “Off. Now. I’ll be painting you nude.” She smiles, rather sweetly. You can only hope there is actual sweetness behind that smile because it only seems authoritative to you. “I would have taken it off myself but well… I figured you wouldn’t like that.”

Yeah, you shouldn’t have asked. The fact that she considered thinking about doing that slightly gives you the shivers. You already know McQueen is a difficult person to read but the way her head works is truly beyond wonder.

“Ah! You actually want me to strip you off instead?” She asks excitedly, her face lighting up at her one-sided conclusion and before you can even protest, she snatches away the blanket from you.

”C-Calm down, McQueen…!” You try to drag yourself away from her bed but she easily grabs onto your wrist to pull you towards her. You yelp as your face crashes against the exposed skin of her chest and a soft chuckle immediately escapes her.

How can you get out of this situation?

“I held back, aren’t you proud? Normally, I wouldn’t care and just stripped you off while you were sleeping.” She nonchalantly states and your eyes briefly widen in horror.

You try to pull away from her but it’s all for naught with how ridiculously strong she actually is; or you’re just plain weak, and the way her eyes sparkle slightly gives you an eerie feeling. “That’s just being a decent person!” You argue.

“Which I am not,” McQueen counters almost immediately and in no time, she has you pinned down against the bed then you squirm and writhe underneath her in a miserable failed attempt to escape. “Haha, you’re so cute.”

Just what have you gotten yourself into?

“You want her in your film…?”

Enfer has met up with Deren upon the latter’s request. Enfer knew it’s going to be about the film and how they wanted to use her museum as a venue but instead, she’s met with a more shocking request. Deren has asked Enfer’s permission to cast you as the protagonist of her film.

 
The shock on Enfer’s face is as clear as day. She almost wonders if this is really the renowned director that people talk about. How is she making such precipitous decision about something that needs careful consideration? It’s not that she thinks you’re incapable of pulling it off but, you just have no history of acting overall.

   
At least that’s what almost everyone knows about you. You’ve never told Enfer about your father and information about him was never made public. No one questioned it either and it’s all because Crosselle deliberately hid that fact.

Not once did you ask her about your father, too.

But it seems like there’s one person who knows personal information about you. That person being Deren, the director who once worked with your father before he passed away a few years ago.

“Oh, trust me. She’ll do great.” Deren asserts, her smile full of confidence. “I can assure you she’s much even more suited to be an actress rather than an artist.”

Enfer’s gaze turns serious and mildly cold. She doesn’t quite like the way Deren is talking about you, acting like she’s known you for a long time. You’ve lived your whole life in becoming the artist you want to be and Enfer witnessed all of your hardships, then this director who’s only known you for a day is disregarding all that effort and saying that you’re better off as an actress in that messed up film of hers?

“Don’t you think it’s great? She has the potential to make a name for herself in this field instead.” Deren explains as she gestures with her hands. “She still hasn’t given much impact in the arts world. After all, she’s always overshadowed by her own mother and…” She pauses before gazing straight into Enfer’s eyes. “You.”

 
Enfer’s eyebrows twitch into a small frown but she tries not to bite into Deren’s obvious provocation. As much as Enfer wants to deny it, what she said is the truth. “What do you even know about her?” Enfer questions, almost mockingly and the way Deren chuckles undoubtedly irks her.

“More than you do, probably.”

Enfer’s eyes widen in both surprise and disbelief. “Excuse me?”

A cool smile spreads over Deren’s attractive features and Enfer only raises an eyebrow at her. “Look, I’m not here to start an argument. I’m just saying I see something in her. I know a talented one when I see one.”

“I don’t know why you’re telling me in the first place,” Enfer calmly says with a sigh of defeat. “Ask her, not me. Unless you’re actually asking me to be a part of it, too.” She continues, the sarcasm in her tone blatant.

“I just thought I’d let you know first.” Deren shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly. “After all, I’ll be taking most of her time once we start filming.”

With a chuckle, Enfer covers her mouth with her slender fingers and she gazes straight and cold into the director’s confident eyes. “What makes you think she’ll accept in the first place?” She questions, her azure orbs clear and beautiful as her eyes widen intimidatingly.

“She will.” Deren pays no mind with Enfer’s open display of hostility and she waves a hand dismissively before heading towards the door to leave.

“She’ll have no choice, anyway.”

Deren indifferently mutters to herself which Enfer fails to make out of anymore with the creak of the door obstructing the director’s voice. For the last time, Deren turns her head back to Enfer with a friendly smile before waving a hand. “See you.”

“Wait…!”

Even with the best of your attempts to stop McQueen, it’s proven futile. It’s McQueen after all. What she wants is what she gets.

She has already successfully taken your pants off and you’re left with just your underwear and an already unbuttoned blouse. Your arms securely hug your own body as you look at McQueen in extreme embarrassment.

“What are you so shy about? I’ve already seen, touched, and tasted every crack and crevice of your body.” Your neighbour recounts casually as if discussing a normal everyday topic and yet there you are, face and whole body immediately heating up at her careless words.

Suddenly, her eyes widen and she stops tugging at your clothes before she leans extremely close to your face, her expression filled with excitement as she gazes straight at you. “Do you want to be my canvas while I use my mouth to paint all over you instead?”

She asks such a shameless question with such an attractive smile on her face, just how are you going to respond to that? Surely, you have to say no so why—why are you only getting even more flustered and at the same time excited?

“You should have said so from the start. Know that I’d be more than glad to comply.” McQueen quietly breathes out as her gaze drops down to your quivering lips and she gives you a sultry smile.

At this point, every string of your remaining reason has probably snapped with the way you harshly push her down instead and her eyes widen in evident surprise and amusement at the same time. Her arms instantly wrap around your neck as you heatedly gaze down at her.

“Taking the lead this time?” McQueen asks with a slight tilt of her head. Even that simple gesture already makes her extremely sexy. You could swear to every god out there that anything this woman does affects you in the most indescribable ways. “You want to paint all over me instead?”

 
“No,” You quickly respond as you lean in, your lips ghosting over her own ones and she gazes at you in anticipation despite the rejection. “You’re already a beautifully painted canvas that I will be ruining.”

Just as you did with your own twisted paintings of her.

Upon your words, McQueen’s tongue slowly runs down over her lower lip and her gaze on you only intensifies, her fingers gently stroking the back of your neck. “Yeah? Be my guest.”

Truthfully, this is quite new to McQueen. She’s always been content with just giving when it comes to intimacy, it satisfies her enough to see people’s faces contort in pleasure as she gives what they want. But to be the receiver this time is a first and for odd reasons, she’s extremely euphoric just thinking about it.

Thinking about what you could offer her.

In no time, your body perfectly weighs down against McQueen’s as you delve in and take her lips onto yours once again, your kiss desperate and urgent, swallowing every moan that you manage to elicit from her.

Muffled noises continue to escape McQueen and her fingers freely tangle through the mess of your hair, then a hand slides down to your back that immediately brings a shiver to your body. You pull away from the kiss only to move your lips and trail kisses from her sharp jawline, all the way down to suck the unmarred flesh of her neck.

Aha, she’s leaving marks…

McQueen normally wouldn’t let that happen and you really aren’t the type to boldly do this kind of things to anyone either. But the desire to actually ruin her and taint her with your lust was way too extreme for you to be even able to control yourself. And you could prove that with the multiple marks you’ve already left on her skin.

You pull away only to look down at her, gazing at your masterpiece while her chest heaves as her soft breaths escape her and her fervent gaze pierces onto you in a way that only heightens your carnal desire for her.

Without a word, McQueen abruptly pulls herself up only to swiftly remove her top and your eyes widen at the sight—her delicate and sylphlike figure completely exposed and vulnerable right before you, and that immediately brings a heat up to your face and down to your core.

“Come.” McQueen quietly says and flashes you a sensual smile, then she leans back again with her arms supporting the weight of her body this time.

Your hand having a mind on its own soon strokes her from her shoulder down to the curve of her side before wrapping your arms around her body as you lean down to place soft kisses on her exposed stomach that lightly ripples at the contact, and your tongue runs up to her chest before taking one of her protruded nub into your mouth.

McQueen bites down on her lower lip as her head throws back with a soft moan escaping her lips, the way your tongue rolls over her already erect nipple gives a jolt through her body. She’s sensitive, it seems; and you confirm that with how quickly she grabs onto your locks when you start sucking her.

“Ngh–!”

The woman beneath you lets out a noise she didn’t expect she could make and she can only blame no one but you as your teeth nibble her bud and your hand makes its way to gather the faint swell of her breast before softly squeezing it.

Never in McQueen’s life she’d ever thought of feeling this way. Never has she ever felt the desperate need of wanting one’s touch all over her, never has she ever felt the rapid growth of burning desire in such a short amount of time. She’s obviously getting impatient with the way she unknowingly grinds herself in between your thighs and your gaze flickers up to her, her lust-filled eyes meeting your own.

“Ruin me.”

Her voice is commanding but at the same time laced with yearning and without a moment’s hesitation, you go down on McQueen and she lays flat on her bed, then you eagerly remove her pants; the sloppiness managing to make her chuckle under her breath. She lends you a hand by briefly lifting her hips and now she’s just left with her underwear after you’ve successfully slid the slacks off her.

The obvious wet stain down the base of her panties urges you to delve in and inhale her intoxicating scent that awakens the animalistic desire and senses that you never knew you had. You must be extremely pent up from all the times you’ve only imagined her doing all these to you once again. But who would have known you would be doing it to her instead?

Soon, you finally remove the thin fabric that’s obstructing you of a wondrous sight—a view even more mesmerising than a painting—her thighs spread apart, the glistening sex extremely wet and waiting for your attention. You push a hood of her folds aside to reveal her pulsing clit and your thumb presses against the nerve that immediately brings an inextinguishable fire all over McQueen’s body.

Her moans immediately fill the room and your head as you rub onto her sensitivity. You lift one of her legs up to hang it over your shoulder before giving the soft flesh of her inner thigh a kiss and a gentle bite, then you finally close in to take the aching bud into your mouth instead.

“Fuck,” McQueen hisses through her gritted teeth and another moan spills past her lips when you begin running and circling your tongue around her clit, the slight tease making her hips buck to your face in impatience. Eager to offer what she wants, you start to suck her fervently and your fingers find their way to her sopping hole.

You gather her arousal that seeped down to her entrance and slowly sink in a digit inside, curling it through her gummy walls in experiment, the sensation making the woman’s thighs tremble accompanied by a loud gasp, her fingers digging through the sheets of her bed as she grabs them by instinct. A guttural groan escapes her once you abruptly shove in another finger, sending a harsh jolt throughout her body.

This is the neighbour who fucked you senseless back then, now submissive and weak against your touch—it boosts your ego for some reason. She’s known to be the one who would make women swoon to their deaths and yet she’s right here, an absolute mess from the pleasure you’re giving her. A sight only for you to see.

A sight she would let only you to see.

 
As you continuously thrust your fingers inside her, you attentively listen to every filthy squelch her insides make, every obscene whimpers and cries that slip past her parted mouth and her continuous sharp breathing that begins to quicken every time your fingers bottom out—all those are absolute music to your ears, assaulting deep down to your senses that strays you further away from reason.

Your gaze diverts up to her body, her back arched as her stomach visibly tightens at the deliberate sucking of your mouth on her overly stimulated clit. Yeah, she’s close, and an immediate whine emits from her when you pull your mouth away. “Are you close?” You ask as you tilt your head up just to get a glimpse of her face, engraving the priceless expression on her face in your brain as her half-lidded, lustful eyes meet yours.

Ah, what a sight. What an absolutely stunning sight.

“Fuck, please– don’t stop.” McQueen breathes out in frustration, her eyebrows pinching together into a small frown.

The begging yet demanding tone of her voice immediately sends a shiver to your whole body, and you pathetically oblige to her as you always do. You immediately latch your mouth back on her swollen clit, tongue curling around before you suck her once again.

McQueen pulls herself up and your gaze meets the obvious desire glinting in her eyes. Her hand makes its way to press against the back of your head as she pushes you further into her cunt, desperate to feel your mouth all over her. Your tongue resolutely flicks onto her clit and her hips instantly jerk at the sensation.

“Oh, god–!”

McQueen definitely likes that. She’s close, so very close, and she rides over the hot waves of pleasure of both your mouth and fingers worshipping her. The way her walls constricts around your fingers is what makes it easy to tell, and her fingers grab a fistful of your hair as she basically grinds onto your face slick with her arousal.

“You feel so, so good.”

Her words catch you off guard with the way you harshly thrust your fingers into her that immediately builds her up to her orgasm. An elongated low groan escapes McQueen as her hot loads of fluid trickles down which you immediately catch with your own tongue. She tastes amazing and you could drown in her taste anytime if you’re able to.

Without notice, McQueen grabs onto the collar of your shirt to forcefully pull you up and she crashes her lips onto yours for a fervid kiss, her tongue almost immediately slotting inside your mouth that’s still fresh with her own taste. But she pays no mind, she needs that kiss while she revels at the rush of her orgasm running through her nerves.

You could barely return every move of her lips on yours as she leaves you completely breathless with how her mouth relentlessly latches on yours, but your arms eagerly make their way to wrap around her neck anyway. After all, suffocating from her kiss doesn’t seem so bad.

McQueen soon pulls away, a string of saliva still connecting your lips. Then a satisfied smile etches upon her beautiful face. Yeah, you fucked that woman just now. How unbelievable. Yet here she is, immediately rendering you weak with just a kiss and an attractive smile.

“Did I… Did I do well…?” The question comes out from you unknowingly and her eyes briefly widen as you gaze at her in expectation.

A chuckle immediately escapes McQueen and she cups a side of your cheek to which you immediately succumb to. “Mhm,” She nods her head as she fondly gazes at you. “You’re my good girl, after all.”

Your cheeks immediately heat up and a gasp soon escapes your lips as she suddenly pushes you down this time, her smile turning dangerous for some reason. You immediately break into a cold sweat as she runs her tongue down her lower lip before giving two of her fingers a lick.

“Now it’s my turn to make my good girl feel good.”

The unusual sparkle in her eyes immediately makes you realise that you’ll be fucked.

Literally.

Chapter Text

“Haha.”

McQueen amusingly gazes at herself in front of the huge mirror in her bathroom, her neck craning and the tips of her fingers tracing the multiple faint bruises left on her skin. The bruises you left on her skin that still haven’t faded even when days have passed.

What am I doing?

The smile that adorned the woman’s face instantly drops and all that’s left is confusion filling deep in her eyes as she questions everything she’s been doing all this time.

“That’s obsession, McQueen.”

That’s what Lisa said when McQueen confided to her art critic friend. If it isn’t love then what else could it be? Obsession. The desire to monopolise. The desire to have you all by herself. The desire to… what? The desire to hold you in her arms. The desire to touch you, to fill you with everything she has.

If it isn’t love…

No, it can’t be love. McQueen still hasn’t forgotten. She will never forget how much she’s suffered. How much she’s made a fool of herself, naively thinking that everything can go well as long as she works hard. You ruined that. You were the one who made her realise how terrible and unfair this world actually is.

You were her harsh reality and the cause of her misery.

Love? Obsession? Neither.

There’s no way she would even have the leisure to feel anything for you. You deserve none of that. You deserve none of her emotions.

At least, that’s how it should be. That’s what she has been desperately trying to convince herself and believe. Yet, just a single look on your face and all her defense mechanisms break. All those thoughts wear away and everything she wants to do is have you in her tight embrace, to feel your body on hers and revel into your comforting warmth.

Comfort, yes. That’s it. You give her so much comfort. The comfort she never thought she would ever need. The moment she’s able to experience the feeling of holding you in her arms, there’s only comfort washing through her entire being despite the genuine anger she felt back then. It’s as if her resentment never existed at all.

Who are you and how can you do that? How can you confuse that heart of hers? How dare you confuse that heart of hers.

Just what exactly does McQueen feel about you?

What if… she gets serious?

“Over here!”

Upon hearing the familiar voice, your head turns to where it comes from and you see the director happily waving at you in one of the tables near the glassed windows. She’s still looking good as you remember. Has it been quite a time since you last met her?

As you approach her, a smile draws upon your lips before greeting her and she greets you back by crashing onto you for an embrace. It was too late for you to pull back with how she strongly held you in her arms.

You can’t help but return her embrace by giving the director’s back a gentle pat but you feel quite uneasy. You haven’t forgotten about McQueen’s request regarding this director but it’s not like you’re able to control how she’s going to act towards you. Deren is just… naturally touchy?

“I missed you! Didn’t you miss me?” She pulls away only to place a hand over your cheek, the smile that you’re absolutely weak to plastered on that beautiful face of hers. Not having a chance to answer at all, her hand soon falls down to the fabric around your neck. "Turtleneck? At this kind of day?”

It is quite sunny outside, yes. But it isn’t that hot.

Moreover, is she really one to ask that? She’s wearing this baggy jacket, too. Though what she wears under that layer of clothing is quite revealing in a way. You really have a reason why you’re wearing a turtleneck, though. You’ve been wearing them recently because it isn’t only you who left McQueen with marks—ah, no. Don’t think about it. Don’t turn yourself on in public.

Your cheeks faintly reddens which Deren easily catches on to and she decides not to pry as to why you’re suddenly flustered. But she knows it isn’t because of her. What’s this? She feels a little disappointed.

The two of you soon sit across each other and you’ve ordered some drinks and something to eat through your discussion. Now that you think about it, it’s Enfer who contacted you and not Deren specifically. That’s why you really couldn’t avoid this from happening when it’s Enfer herself who asked you to meet the director. She sounded a little distressed over the phone but she assures you that she’s just a little tired.

You should meet her up some time.

“What did you meet me for?” You soon question Deren, curiosity filling you up. Is she actually going to start filming so soon? You actually thought it would take more time, but what do you know about that field anyway?

A smile soon spreads across her features and she leans in only to rest her chin against her palm, gazing straight into your eyes that slightly unsettles you. “What if I just wanted another date with you?” She asks without shame, to which your face heats up almost immediately and you couldn’t even form a single coherent word to respond to her.

It didn’t take a second for Deren to burst into laughter and somehow, you sigh in relief. She’s joking, of course. There’s just no way this director would be interested in you, anyway. “I have an offer to make.” She soon says and your lashes flutter as you blink at her curiously. “I want you to be the protagonist of my film, what do you say?”

Huh?

Wait, is that your cue to actually laugh now? She’s joking, right? A forced and awkward laugh soon escapes your lips that slowly falters as the way Deren gazes at you immediately tells you that she’s probably not joking. She looks so damn serious.

“I can’t possibly…” You mutter under your breath but her eyes never left yours and somehow the way she’s looking at you brings a shiver down your spine. It was for a brief second but there was a speck of coldness that glinted through her grey orbs. There’s a gut feeling building up in you that rejecting her offer would put you in some kind of trouble.

Deren soon takes something out of her bag which seems to be pile of papers. It’s a part of the script she wants you to play on. She slides it towards you and you reluctantly take it. “Please think about it,” She urges. “Carefully.”

The director isn’t smiling nor frowning but the calm look on her face makes you quite nervous especially with the way her gaze pierces through you. You begin to read through the pages of the script.

Act 1.

It starts with a flashback of the protagonist named Aria, a rising oil painting artist and the memories of her childhood with her mother’s negligence and abuse. Somehow you feel your stomach immediately turning with how it’s starting but you still continue reading.

“If you want to paint so much then use your blood.”

The young, helpless, and naive Aria who was desperate to continue what she’s passionate about and always loved to do was left with no other choice but to follow her mother’s words. Her mother who would hurt her daughter for touching her stuff, locked her up, and never showed any support for her undeniable talent on painting.

The young Aria who has used a sharp chisel to cut the skin of her own arm and experience physical pain for the first time. Tears have dropped from her eyes yet she continued to pierce through her flesh to draw blood and use it as medium for her paintings.

The young Aria who would constantly cut on the same place that had begun to numb and had left an obvious, unsightly scar that she grew up with.

What’s… this…?

A hand immediately clamps over your mouth and you swallow any noise you could possibly let out, terrified that once you open it, only screams would escape. The realisation of what the script actually is horrifies you and your guts twist in indescribable fear and discomfort.

You want to throw up. But you can’t. There’s no way you can.

As your gaze slowly meets Deren’s once again, horror immediately surges into you with the blatant way she’s coldly gazing into your eyes now. Did she not notice you spiraling? Or is this what she wants? What exactly does she know about you and what does she want from you?

You swallow a lump in your throat. You try to speak but not even a single sound can come out from you. You want to ask. You want to ask why a part of your childhood is written here. No, is it only a part of your childhood? What else is in this script? What else does she know that she’s not supposed to?

“Changed your mind?” Deren speculates with the same friendly smile on her face, though it greatly betrays her indifferent gaze. “You reacted quite strongly. Did it have a huge impact on you?”

Confusion only continues to eat you up. You’re unsure whether Deren actually knows something about you or is everything just a huge coincidence. But isn’t it too much of a huge coincidence that she asks you to play it? You’re not even an actress and no one should have known about your father being a stage actor.

No one…

Unless someone close to your father knows? The director? Does the director know your father? Did your father actually talk about you…? Why would he? He threw you away and he already passed away.

You can feel your tears building up in the corners of your eyes and you can only look down and steer away from Deren’s gaze. What are you supposed to do now? Why is this even happening? Did Deren only approach you for this? Does she also have something against you?

There are so many questions to ask and yet none of them you could manage to bring up. The truth has always scared you and living in lies has been your source of comfort.

“Do you need more time?” The director asks, both her tone and gaze apathetic.

“… Yes.” That’s all you can manage to say and you hear the woman in front of you sigh, loudly at that. You bite your inner cheeks and you don’t even notice how much you’ve crumpled the edges of the script with the way you hardly gripped on the papers.

Why is Deren suddenly like this? She was just so friendly awhile ago. She smiled at you, she hugged you, and she even said she missed you. Were all those just an act?

Soon, Deren stands up from her seat and walks to your side then she places a hand over your shoulder before leaning down to whisper closely in your ear. “I’ll give you more time,” She softly says and instead of getting the butterflies you used to get with how close she is and how good she smells, there’s only feeling of discomfort permeating through your entire system. “I await for good news.”

Those are her last words before she walks away, leaving you there confused and horrified from the whole situation. Deren’s words come rushing back to you and the weight of her offer hit you like a ton of bricks. It seems difficult to come to terms with what you’re facing right now. More like, you refuse to do so.

The tears that were threatening to come out finally find their way to slide down your cheeks. How pathetic it is to be crying in public. Maybe it’s best if you head home for now and think carefully of what to do. More importantly, how are you going to explain this to McQueen? Can you even tell her? It’s not like you’re dating but she asked you not to spend too much time with Deren and as much as you don’t want to, that seems extremely impossible now.

What a mess.

McQueen has been pacing back and forth restlessly about in the corridor. She can only anxiously bite the nail of her thumb as she waits for any response on her texts and calls. It’s already late and you still haven’t come home. You did tell her you would be meeting someone in Enfer’s request so McQueen didn’t really question anything about it anymore.

Should she ask Enfer?

It didn’t even take her a second to actually call Enfer, not minding how late it actually is and how she’s possibly disturbing someone who’s already peacefully sleeping. Luckily, Enfer seems to be awake with how she quickly answers McQueen’s sudden call.

“Hello… McQueen?”

There’s obvious confusion in Enfer’s line. After all, it’s probably her first time taking a call from McQueen. She’s only talked to her a bit thanks to Lisa who’s actually much closer to Enfer.

“Has (y/n) contacted you today?” McQueen asks straight to the point. She tries to mask her worry by being calm but Enfer easily picks up on the anxiousness lingering in the other’s voice.

“No, she has not. What’s wrong?”

Enfer starts to get nervous herself. After all, she’s the one who asked you to meet Deren knowing that the director has something up in her sleeves. She genuinely believes you would reject that woman’s offer no matter how enticing it could be and yes, you would have rejected. If only it’s that easy to reject.

But wait, when did you and McQueen ever get close? She still clearly remembers the panicked look on your face at the mention of her name back then and how you impulsively bought a painting of hers. What’s happening here?

“It’s late and she’s not home yet. Where do you think she’s gone to? Did she tell you anything? Who did she meet?” McQueen agitatedly starts to throw a sequence of questions at Enfer, just making her uneasiness even more obvious now which makes Enfer just as uneasy.

“I–”

Enfer tries to speak but McQueen’s attention is immediately taken by the unusual clicking of heels echoing through the hallway and she quickly whips her head to the side, only to see you wobbling and walking unsteadily to your door.

“Hello–? McQueen?”

“You–” McQueen grits her teeth, completely forgetting she’s on the phone as she stomps towards you, her steps heavy and quick before she harshly grabs onto your arm and you slightly wince in pain. “Just where have you been?”

With squinted eyes, you lift your head to get a clear look of who it is. It is McQueen and she’s wearing an expression that you’re seeing for the first time. She looks mad—extremely mad. “Ow… Don’t be mad…” Your lower lip starts to quiver at the thought of McQueen actually getting mad at you, added up the way she’s hardly gripping onto your arm.

You reek of alcohol and while McQueen probably already knows the reason why you’re back so late, she’s still upset that you didn’t even bother answering any of her texts and calls. She was really worried sick.

“You’re seriously driving me crazy.” McQueen rasps under her breath. Why is she so worried, anyway? So what if you didn’t respond to her texts and calls? You’re not obliged to do so. There’s just no reason to. You two aren’t even dating.

McQueen’s train of thoughts soon get interrupted with how you crash onto her for a hug, the impact a little too strong that the two of you stumble down to the floor and McQueen groans at her hard fall while you continue to latch onto her. She properly sits herself up with you while trying to cope with the tingling pain on her ass.

“I’m sorry… Don’t be mad at me, please?” You mutter against her neck and your embrace around her only tightens when she audibly sighs.

What is she supposed to do now? You’re obviously still drunk with how unusual you’re behaving. She knows you’re not this clingy and… what’s that wet sensation on her skin? Are you crying? McQueen’s eyes widen and she pulls back only to cup your face and she’s right, you’re crying.

“What’s wrong?” McQueen asks worriedly but you only continue to sob in her hands then you gaze at her through your tears, though her image blurry, it just cannot erase this woman’s beauty. And with how easily you give in to temptation, you mindlessly lean onto her once again to press your lips on hers and her eyes widen in surprise.

You kiss McQueen, desperately. Longingly. And it didn’t even take the latter a second to return your kisses. But she also had to pull away soon, much to your dismay. Without a word, McQueen picks her phone up that fell and shoves it in her pocket before she pulls herself up with you, but you seem to be having a hard time standing still.

“Here.” McQueen leads your arms around her neck once again before her hands stride down to your thighs, prompting you to wrap them around her waist for her to carry you. Normally, you would be complaining about how embarrassing it is first but it’s probably because you’re drunk that you immediately does as she say.

With your neighbour’s help, she effortlessly lifts you up and you tangle your legs around her svelte waist while she rests her hands just right below your ass. Your forehead rests against hers as you gaze straight into those alluring eyes of hers, thinking how it’s the perfect position to kiss and the mutual thought has the two of you locking lips once again.

Not breaking the kiss, McQueen flutters an eye open and enters her place with you, kicking the door close and heading straight to her bedroom. She continues to savour the kiss, the bitter taste of the alcohol left in your mouth almost intoxicates her but she doesn’t mind. Bitter or sweet, it doesn’t matter. So long as it’s your taste, she would gladly accept it.

You let out a gasp, catching your breath as McQueen finally pulls away from the kiss before throwing you onto the soft mattress of her bed, and your eyes slightly widen as you look up at her in daze. A slow tongue runs down her lower lip as her eyes glint in the darkness while looming down at you.

“Now… How should I punish you?”

Beep.

Enfer immediately ends the call. 

“… Hah.”

She can’t believe she listened through all that. She knows she shouldn’t have done that but she was also worried about you that she had to listen in to know if you’re okay. But instead, she heard that.

That.

The sound of making out.

She should have ended the call as soon as she heard those weird smacking noises and muffled groans but somehow she still believed that she might be hearing wrong. But well, the last words she heard did it for her. She’s never going to listen in through a call ever again. To say she is slightly traumatised is an understatement.

Enfer has nothing but to herself to blame, though.

Still, you have some explaining to do with her. Since when did you build that kind of relationship with McQueen? And are the two of you actually living together? She just has so many questions in her head.

Maybe… Maybe Enfer doesn’t really know you as much as she thinks. Deren’s words somehow pierced a hole in her. But what does Deren know about the two of you, anyway? She has been by your side ever since. Almost to a point where she’s become the only family to you. At least, she knows that your relationship with your mother is actually bad even when you’ve never told her. And that’s why she’s always done her best for you.

Even so, it’s beyond her control that she overshadows you. She greatly worries about that and how you always get compared to her—being daughters of famous artists and all that but one is successful and the other is… just there—none of that seemed to matter to you at all, though. If anything, Enfer felt nothing but kindness from you. It’s the kind of kindness that Enfer has always yearned for ever since she has lost both of her parents. And that’s also probably why she also feels overprotective towards you.

Should she just wait until you open up to her?

Enfer can only hope that you would actually open up to her, though. She already knows how much you’re hiding from her but she continues to believe you would confide in her someday.

Chapter Text

It’s just another day. You woke up with a splitting headache and you had no one else but yourself to blame. After that talk with Deren, you did plan to just go home but well, things just didn’t go as you planned. You got home drunk.

And you woke up in McQueen’s bed. Again.

You slightly glare at McQueen who’s quietly fixing some of her stuff on the floor and she asked you to rest more if you still felt tired or sleepy. It’s weird. She didn’t question you anything and you can barely remember anything that happened last night. One thing is for sure, though. Something did happen. You’re quite sure about it because you woke up feeling sore and completely unclothed.

“You’re really not going to tell me what happened last night?” You ask with a small frown.

McQueen is still focusing on what she’s doing but she briefly gives you a glance with a smile on her face. “Nope.” She simply says as she continues to organise her things and you let out a soft sigh at her refusal. Then something catches your eyes and they immediately widen.

“… Jennie?” You softly mutter as you approach McQueen.

McQueen’s heart almost drops and she slowly turns her head towards you with her eyes widened in horror. Only to see you gazing down on a painting she carelessly set aside on the floor and you look at her with a smile.

“Wow, it’s really Jennie’s work.” You excitedly say as you plop down next to her before carefully picking up the painting. “So you know this artist, too.” You look at McQueen with a huge smile on your face, delighted by the fact that McQueen knows an artist you used to admire. Now you remember. The painting of McQueen that you bought oddly reminded you of something and it’s definitely Jennie’s work. Is that why the painting gave you so much comfort?

The framed painting in your hands earns your fondest smile but a sigh soon escapes your lips at a realisation. “I never saw this one, though. I must have missed it back then…” You quietly mumble to yourself. McQueen must have bought it before you could and you feel a little envious.

“You… How do you know her…?” McQueen asks, both in disbelief and anticipation of what your answer would be.

“How…?” You turn your head to the side to look at McQueen who’s gazing at you eagerly before a hum softly escapes your lips. “Well, I really didn’t go out a lot back then and spent most of my time on the internet. I saw her work by chance and suddenly,  I just started buying whatever she puts up.”

Huh?

No way. That was… you?

McQueen can’t believe this and you probably wouldn’t believe it either if she reveals that she is Jennie. Or should she say, was Jennie. As a struggling artist, she would sell her work online when putting them up on art galleries wouldn’t work and truthfully, even selling her work online was also quite of a failure. But, there was an avid buyer of her paintings back then. And now, you’re telling her that was… you?

Isn’t this too much of a coincidence?

“Why…? Her work isn’t even anything special at all… She couldn’t even make a name for herself and gave up in the end…!” McQueen starts to blabber as her brows knit into a frown while she looks at you in disbelief. You can only blink at her, confused as to why she would say all that when she also owns a painting of Jennie. “Did you simply feel bad for her?” She asks with a rueful smile, gazing straight into your eyes as hers glint with a hint of pain.

You freeze upon her words and your eyes widen ever so lightly. That’s exactly how you felt when you impulsively bought McQueen’s painting and the rush of guilt surges into you once again. While it was a wonderful painting, the whole reason why you’ve bought it wasn’t because of that and if McQueen were to know that, who’s to know of what could happen? As for Jennie, that wasn’t the case at all.

Jennie’s work were your comfort. Sure, she never made a name for herself and she never got recognised just because she couldn’t promote herself better than others could. If only she got more exposure, you’re sure enough that she would have definitely made it. You admired her for still trying and you genuinely loved each and every piece of work she has done. Her genuine work where you could clearly see her pure passion and hard work in every stroke of details in her paintings.

“I… love Jennie’s work. That’s all.” You truthfully answer as you smile down on the painting in your hands.

McQueen quietly grits her teeth. She really didn’t think much about it. She never appreciated the person who kept buying her paintings back then. If anything, she thought that person was just a fool who knew nothing about art and would just collect about anything they see. It never made her feel seen nor happy. Her last chance was the competition back then and yet, that ended up as a failure, too.

Ah, yes. A failure. That’s how she started to believe that she’s one. As if casting her name away and starting anew would ever make a change for her. It didn’t. She only felt even more miserable. Even emptier. And now she’s back but with no certain goals and ideals, no nothing. She just simply wanted to exist. She just wanted to feel alive. Again.

But no one even knows the real her now.

She should be mad, should be angry that you’re partly the reason why she ended up like this. But everyday she finds a reason why she can’t hate you. Because after you’ve uttered her name so fondly with that voice of yours, it’s the only time she has ever felt alive once again.

“McQueen…?”

For some reason, you find yourself pinned down on the floor with McQueen on top of you. Her usual playful and flirtatious demeanor is gone and the way her eyes seriously gaze down at you got your heart beating erratically.

“I want to do it.”

“Wha–”

“Right now. Please.” McQueen cuts you off as she tightens her grip on your wrists and she leans down only to bury her face on your neck. “You can’t say no.”

It’s not like you don’t want to and you’re quite used to McQueen’s extreme sex drive but it’s the first time you’ve seen her acting like this. She even said please when usually, she would just do whatever she wants with you. You try to free yourself from her grip and she easily lets you go, then you bring her face right in front of yours as your hands cup her cheeks. She just looks so lost.

“What’s wrong?” You ask in genuine concern but she only shakes her head.

“I just want you.” The woman above you speaks so softly as her eyes obviously gaze at you in yearning desire. She soon puts her weight against you as she leans in closer to your face. “We can’t?”

How cunning this woman is. There’s no way you can say no when she looks like that—it’s just hard to explain. You just can’t refuse this person.

If it was any other person, would you let them do this to you? Yeah, no. Obviously not. It’s because it’s McQueen that you’re letting this happen. Is it still out of guilt? Out of pure hope to get along with her and have peace with her? No. It’s just purely out of desire for her now. Out of your desire to be able to be with her and have you in her arms.

It’s out of your uncontrollable and ever growing feelings for her. Yes. It’s time to admit. It’s time to admit that you’ve fallen in love with McQueen.

The familiar sensation of her soft lips on yours never fails to give you absolute bliss. Your body shivers with pleasure as her hands delicately move across your face, sending sparks through every part of you. The warmth of her skin against yours ignites a passion inside you that can’t be ignored. You’re completely enthralled with this person you never thought was possible to love.

You savour every moment you spend with her, from the small conversations to the intimate moments. You’re captivated by everything she does and say. She entices you in ways that no one else can, leaving a trail of pure bliss wherever she goes. It’s as if you are under her spell; an enchanting force that brings out all.

Every kiss and touch leaves you craving for more, and every moment shared together is the most beautiful thing you have ever experienced. You’re in awe of everything this person can do to your emotions and your heart. With each touch, kiss, or embrace, you are reminded of how much you have fallen for this woman above you.

The way McQueen’s hand travels down your body, how her fingers splay through your bare skin send electrifying heat that sparks through your veins. Her soft lips tenderly caressing your neck and the whispered words into your ear make you feel as if time stands still; leaving you even more under her magical spell.

You can’t help but sigh in pleasure at her desire and affections, knowing that this is exactly what love feels like. You take every chance to gaze at her face with your eyes locked on hers; the love that pulses through you is so pure and palpable it’s almost tangible.

You admire McQueen. You admire everything about her and you want to take each and every detail about her and burn them deep down to the very core of your brain. Her eyes that glints like autumn, her sharp nose, her soft lips that would glisten whenever you kiss, the way she moves and makes—everything around her seem like pure bliss.

You can feel your heart swell up with love as you get lost in her spell, the melodic sound of her voice, and the heated touch of her expert hands and fingers doing wonders all over you. You want to stay by her side forever; nothing else matters to you anymore but being with McQueen.

But you know how impossible that is. As you’re painfully aware of the reality that’s just down there the corner, waiting for you to walk along its thorny path.

You haven’t forgotten, after all.

Deren’s offer.

With a glass and a bottle of wine beside her, Lisa lazily scrolls through random stuff in the net. She just actually finished arguing with hundreds of people and drinking a perfectly chilled wine after is her solace. As weird as that sounds, that’s just how she is.

“How boring,” She mutters under her breath and is about to shut her laptop down but a certain headline catches her eyes and they slightly widen as she reads it.

Famous artist Crosselle to hold another exhibition! Don’t miss out and get your tickets now!

Lisa instantly scowls in absolute distaste. “What’s there to show when everything she does is mediocre at best?”

But a small voice inside her tells her to go anyway, and she feels compelled to listen. After all, what’s the harm in checking out an exhibition? She had been meaning to take a break from all of the stress-inducing moments in her life lately and maybe this is just the opportunity she needed.

So, she books a ticket as the art fanatic that she is. She’s just there to see whether it’s worth it or not and she’ll be ready to give a full-on review of her experience. She already did a bad review about Crosselle back then and she’s ready to do just another convincing one.

Mindlessly scrolling down to the comments of the article, she reads one with tons of dislikes.

This woman runs illegal auctions.

Somehow, Lisa’s heart starts to beat rapidly against her chest upon reading the certain comment. She clicks to see more of the replies but the whole page begins to load and the comment no longer exists. What was that just now? Was that true? As someone who’s on the internet most of the time, Lisa knows how untrustworthy these people can be but it’s weird how the comment was suddenly unavailable. It’s either they deleted it themselves or... it was taken down.

How odd. How very odd.

Lisa never liked Crosselle. Besides the fact that there’s really nothing special about her, it’s as if something about her is naturally unsettling. Lisa can’t pinpoint what exactly it is but she just doesn’t get a good feeling whenever she looks at Crosselle.

She’ll need to make a thorough investigation about this.

Classical music fills the car as it drives along the streets of Eastside and you’re in the backseat of the cab on your way to a dreaded destination. Days have passed since that talk with Deren. Surprisingly, McQueen never questioned you about what happened that day and you also got to meet Enfer a few days ago to catch up with her. She was extremely fidgety and she kept avoiding your eyes for some reason, though. Did you do something wrong?

Hopefully not. She still talked to you normally. It just seemed like she wanted to say something but she couldn’t. You really couldn’t ask her to just spit it out so you thought it would be better to wait until she’s ready to say it.

Suddenly, a wave of nervousness rushes over you as the cab turns into an alleyway that leads to your destination. Your heart starts beating faster and all you can think about is the possible outcomes of this meeting. After all, the previous one kind of forcefully opened locked memories that you never wanted to reopen.

“We’re here, ma’am.” The driver informs you as he parks near a sidewalk and you soon give your payment before heading out of the cab.

As much as you want to escape, there’s just no way you can. You have to meet with Deren again and give her your answer.

You enter a building which seems a little unkempt. It just looks like it isn’t maintained well but other than that, it’s a decent place. As you approach the hallways, you notice a few broken windows and paint peeling off the walls. The doorknobs don't turn easily when you try to open them, but with a bit of force, they open with a creepy creak.

Continuing on, you see another hallway leading to several rooms. You cautiously make your way down and peek into some of the rooms until a wooden door with an odd sign that looks exactly like what Deren has sent you obstructs your way and you slowly knock on it.

There’s no answer. Are you even at the right place? The directions Deren texted you is quite hard to understand and you’ve been frowning the whole time trying to decipher everything.

As you’re about to leave and retrace your steps, the door suddenly opens and a loud scream immediately leaves you, making the other person scream as well. Then the two of you look at each other with both widened eyes in obvious horror.

It’s fucking Deren.

“Gosh, calm down. You scared me!”

You immediately frown at her. “You scared me! Don’t just suddenly open the door like that!”

It doesn’t help that the place looks like it hasn’t been attended to for years, it’s almost close to haunted. What is Deren even doing here and why did she choose such a place to meet up with you?

Deren reaches up to scratch her nape, feeling a little guilty even though she was equally as shocked. You soon notice how she’s not wearing that baggy jacket and bucket hat that she always has on and it’s somehow refreshing to see her this way. Except you’re trying your best not to let your eyes stray to where it shouldn’t be.

“What? If you want to look, just look.” The director soon leans in dangerously close towards you with a mischievous smile on her face then she hooks on her top to lower it down a little and reveal more of her already exposed cleavage. Your widened eyes just naturally drop there but you immediately look away as an evident blush creeps up to your face.

“S-stop joking around!”

Deren just shakes her head with a hearty laugh, then she stands aside to welcome you in and you hesitantly get inside. “This is my private studio. I come here when I want to be alone and I don’t want anyone disturbing me.”

Great. What does that make you then?

“Ah! Except you, though! I’d welcome you anytime.” She gives you a genuine smile as she leads you to sit on the couch. She soon brings some drinks before sitting right in front of you, legs spread wide and her fingers interlock while she rests them in between her thighs.

The two of you fall silent as you look at each other, her expression neutral that it’s hard for you to read what she actually feels right now. For some reason, you just can’t get the same comfort you used to get from her. After all that, you know she’s someone that you have to put your guard on.

Her lips soon form into a faint smile, she already knows how uncomfortable you are around her but well, what else can she do about it? She’s really not the type who would work to change someone’s opinion on her, anyway. “So, have you thought about it?” She asks.

“I have one request.” You quietly say as you look down to your own fingers fiddling with each other. Deren didn’t say anything so you continue to speak, “I want to see the entire script first.” You really don’t know if Deren will allow it and you can only try your luck. Even if she doesn’t show you, it’s impossible for you to say no when it can potentially put you in trouble with your mother again when you’ve been peacefully living away from her suffocating surveillance.

“Sure.”

Huh?

“I’ll give you a copy.” She immediately says with a smile on her face and you look at her, slightly bewildered. You didn’t expect for her to agree right away and unknowingly, you give her a doubtful gaze. “Don’t look at me like that, I can even give you the original copy if you want.”

 
The emphasised word makes you frown. What does she mean by that? You just decide to ignore it and shake your head in refusal. “I don’t need it. Just give me a copy.”

“Alrighty.” Deren says with a rather huge smile on her face. Though you really can’t share the same enthusiasm as she has. It’s already uncomfortable how she’s acting like nothing happened when you both know there’s some matter that both of you are avoiding to bring up.

It honestly saddens you how things easily changed for the worse because of all this. Sure, Deren was someone you found annoying at first but you genuinely enjoyed her company after. Not only that, she’s truly an amazing person. She’s someone you learned to look up to. So, why? Why did it have to end this way? It doesn’t seem like she has any intentions of fixing anything, too. But of course, why would she? It’s possible that she only really approached you to use you in the first place.

A frown molds onto your face unbeknownst to you and you didn’t notice how she leans forward to poke in between your meeting eyebrows. You’re frowning too hard and you immediately snap out of your thoughts. “I’ll call you again. If you want to leave, you can go now.” Deren calmly says with a small smile on her face and for some reason, that just pisses you off even more.

Whatever. Who cares anymore?

You harshly shove her hand away from your face as you stand and stomp to the door, slamming it close as you leave which makes the woman flinch in surprise and a slightly rueful laugh helplessly escapes her.

“I don’t like this either.”

The director mutters to herself as she plops back down to the couch, lazily leaning against the backrest as she lets out a huge sigh. “But I have to do this.”