Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s freezing outside, Seokjin can tell.

It’s snowing in Seoul and the city's lights are brighter at this time of the year, considering there are only three days left for Christmas. It’s not the first time Seokjin has to be standing in front of a big hotel window on the 17th floor waiting patiently ‘til his client tells him he can leave, he wishes he could run right now without saying anything but he has to be paid yet.

He lets out a sigh and closes his eyes focusing on the muffled sound of the cars in the street and the nightlife of the city. Seokjin finds comfort in simple things. Two hands grab him by the waist and turn him almost violently, he never opens his eyes cause if he does he would have to see the annoying face of the man he slept with tonight, well… the last two weeks. 

“You have to go, pretty?”

The sound of a loud siren resonates in Seokjin’s ears and he wishes the sound wouldn't fade because he doesn’t really want to listen to whatever disgusting pet name this man just called him. Just a few more months and he’ll be done, that’s what his boss promised him.

Just work for me for ten years, you’ll thank me later.

He didn’t in fact. Seokjin never thanked him for this shitty work he got almost ten years ago cause this was never what he expected. 

The man mutters something Seokjin can’t hear and that’s when he decides to open his eyes, the man standing in front of him looks older at the dim lights of the suite. Many colors from the city lights paint his face but don't make him look attractive. The man probably is around his forties but not older than that, he’s a little bit shorter than Seokjin and his voice is surprisingly nice but annoying at the same time. 

Seokjin quickly returns to his character and with a forced smile leans over the man and places a quick and messy peck in the corner of his lips. That’s fucking disgusting, Seokjin thinks.

“I have to, it’s getting late and you have to go.” 

He’s trying so hard to sound disappointed but he’s far from being that, he could cry of joy just because he’s finally leaving this man. It has been two weeks, and he’s been accompanying the man for two weeks just because he’s a French businessman who came to Seoul for a very important convention, and for some reason, it’s pretty important to have someone to fuck for two weeks too. Rich man necessities, Seokjin guesses.

“I wish I could take you with me to France, take you to fancy places, and after that fuck you on my big balcony. It has a lovely view, almost as pretty as you.”

Seokjin smirks and sighs pretending he liked what the man just said. He could be a great actor if he ever had the opportunity to become one. But he doesn’t have many opportunities for anything.

“That sounds lovely, you should come back without any compromises and take me anywhere.” Seokjin draws circles on the man’s cheekbones, he’s trying hard.

The man closes his eyes and melts onto the touch. This fucker fell for him just in two weeks. Fucking disgusting, fucking weak.

“I’ll miss you, pretty.”

“Don’t miss me too much.”

You’ll only have to say to the rich folks anything they wanna hear. It’s that easy.

It’s not.

It had never been easy. He can’t remember the number of proposals he’d received, the number of men that had asked him to run away with them. They even tried to buy him and that was the sickest thing ever. His boss would say “that’s work, kid” every time something like that happened, Seokjin didn’t want that.

“I’ll come back for you, I promise.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Anything they wanna hear.

Seokjin says goodbye and walks out of the suite. At least this client gave him a huge amount of money. He waits in front of the elevator and when it opens only one person is standing there. 

A man, almost as tall as Seokjin, maybe taller than him. With broad shoulders and sun-kissed skin, he’s handsome. He wears glasses which make him look even more attractive. 

Seokjin enters the elevator and pushes the button to the lobby. He tries to not pay attention to the man behind him, at the end neither of them knows the other but for some reason, Seokjin always feels a strange feeling in his chest when he sees normal people in hotels. They're not whores like him or who knows, maybe some are, but that doesn't make him feel less uneasy. He just wants to leave the building, hop in the car his boss sent for him and go home. 

Seokjin’s cell phone starts ringing and that startles him out of his thoughts. When he searches for the phone in his bag he accidentally drops his scarf. 

But before he can react there's a hand already brushing his right over the scarf. He looks up just to find a pair of ironically soft dragon eyes. He doesn't have any idea how else he could describe it and it should be easy but Seokjin finds out that even the silliest things are hard for him to understand.

They stare at each other for an embarrassing amount of time and Seokjin knows someone should stop staring and take the scarf to end this extremely weird situation but for some reason, his body stopped functioning. 

That's when the other man gives him a dimpled smile and offers him the scarf. Seokjin’s body responds. How convenient. 

He thanks the man almost in a whisper and bows his head a little.

“You should wear it before you go out. It's freezing outside.” 

The man's voice is somehow endearing. A bit too soft for a man like him and a bit too hoarse for a face like that.

Seokjin is endeared. 

“Thank you, I think I should.” 

The man gives Seokjin another smile, and this time his eyes disappear into crescents and Seokjin’s heart clenches in his chest. What the heck is happening to him? 

“What’s your name?” the man asks.

Seokjin doubts for a second. He won’t see this man anymore, there’s nothing wrong with telling him his name.

“Seokjin.”

“Pretty name.” the man smiles again. He should stop smiling so prettily.

But then, Seokjin bows once again and just in time, the elevator opens delivering him to the lobby. Once he goes out he hears the man saying something from where he stands.

“My name is Namjoon, nice to meet you.”

Seokjin turns to look but then, just like that, the elevator doors close.

—————————

Namjoon hates hotels.

Not exactly the place but the feeling of being there. He loves his job and everything that implies but when he has to travel, sometimes he wishes he could have a house everywhere he goes so he doesn’t feel lonely or anxious. This time is one of those times he longes for his home.

He’s been working as a journalist since he was twenty, and now he’s thirty-two and never gets used to the feeling of staying in a hotel room for days, sometimes weeks. The first time he had to go out of Seoul he was nervous, he plead to his boss not to send him and sent another journalist who worked with him. He knew he was being immature and acting like a kid but he really didn’t want to go. In the end, he did.

It’s always the same, his chest starts to feel heavy, and his hands become clammy and cold. He always needs to run because if he stays much longer in that closed place he will explode and that wouldn’t be a nice situation. Not when he’s alone all the time.

To his luck, one of the other journalists who’s working with him calls to have something to drink. Namjoon doesn’t have to think twice, he needs to go out, and just in a matter of seconds, he’s out of his room and waiting for the elevator.

Once he’s there, he scrolls the screen of his cell phone and waits patiently to arrive in the lobby. He’s glad he only has to stay one more day at the hotel and then get back to Ilsan. It’s not that far from Seoul but it takes time to get there and staying at a hotel makes his work easier, he doesn’t need to wake up so early to take the train which makes him feel very grateful.

When he arrives at the lobby, he bows to the few people who are waiting for the elevator, he gets out and starts walking right to the entrance. Waits some seconds until a cab stops in front of him and he hops in.

At least he won’t be spending all night in the hotel.

The night is cold and for just a moment he regrets getting out of his warm and comfy hotel room, where he could be reading something or just organizing his notes and interviews. 

Maybe he should have stayed in the hotel.

His friends notice him immediately and make signs to gain his attention. He walks to the table where three men (probably the same as Namjoon age) are eating and drinking. They look happy and calm. 

Namjoon wishes he could feel at ease as well.

The guy who called Namjoon greets him with a pat on his back and smiles wildly at him. He has a beautiful smile and he seems like he always carries sunshine on his face.

“Thought you wouldn’t come, you told me you were tired.”

Namjoon smirks and takes the glass of soju one of his workmates gave to him. He drinks in one shot and hisses at the burning feeling in his throat.

“I can’t spend one more night in that room. I’m this close to going nuts, Hoseok.”

His friend, Hoseok, laughs brilliantly and offers him another shot. He knows Namjoon very well and if that wasn’t the case, he wouldn’t call him to go out.

They have known each other forever. They’ve been friends since they were kids and they grew up together. Studied at the same preparatory, high school, and college; they were always together. Namjoon isn’t sure if he had been able to be where he is if it wasn’t for Hoseok.

He always has his back.

“I have to say, honestly, I don’t know how you manage to keep this job if you find it so difficult staying in a hotel or anywhere isn’t your home.” 

Hoseok speaks softly, never throwing rough words or saying something he knows might hurt someone. He’s a soft speaker but at the same time, he knows when he has to be tough. Namjoon finds it curious how someone like Hoseok has this job. Hoseok is a detective from the police department of Seoul, one of the best if he’d asked. He had worked with Namjoon many times before which it’s unusual because not all journalist has the guts to work directly with detectives when writing a story. But now, Hoseok is working on a case and he needs someone like Namjoon to work with him. He’s not like usual journalists who work with common stories about life or things like that. Yeah, sure, he writes about life, politics, and social situations but he writes about the darkest side of that.

He works in a small independent publishing house who dedicates to publishing the stories no one dares to tell, real stories about how life is not just fairy tales or SciFi movies. That’s why Hoseok loves working with Namjoon.

“The thing is, Hobah,” Namjoon plays with his chopsticks and then takes a piece of meat. “I’m not always working outside. My problem is when we have to do fucking investigations and act like fucking detectives.”

“I think that’s the fun part.” 

Namjoon lifts his gaze to look at the guy who spoke. He’s probably the younger one on their team. A newbie, that’s what the others called him but Namjoon knows he’s a good dongsaeng, and also good at his job.

“Jungkookie, do you like playing detectives?” 

On the other side of the table, there’s Taehyung, Namjoon’s little brother. Even if he’s not a journalist nor a detective like Hoseok, he works with them as a photographer. He was the official photographer of a newspaper back in Daegu, but when Namjoon left the town his brother wanted to follow him, and he couldn’t say no. Now, they work together, and it’s a lot better for Taehyung.

“We’re not playing detectives, hyung.” the younger gets sensitive very quickly when it comes to his job. Of course, he just started working some months ago with Namjoon as an assistant. He’s in his honeymoon phase with his job. 

“But it seems like you perceive it that way, am I wrong?”

“Taehyung, just stop bothering Jungkook.” Hoseok says trying to hide a laugh but fails and lets out a little squeak.

“What I meant was that even if we don’t like it,” Jungkook speaks again. “we’re kinda like detectives. Just like Hobi hyung. And to me, that’s the fun part.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean boy, I also like that.” Namjoon takes another shot and Taehyung looks at him in disbelief.

“I hate this team.”

“No, you only hate that Namjoon is too fond of Jungkook and you’re not his only dongsaeng anymore.” This time Hoseok laughs with his whole body when Taehyung stays silent and rolls his eyes.

“Anyways, you contacted the man?” Namjoon asks directly to Hoseok. “He told us he was gonna be here.” 

“Ah! Yes!” Hoseok searches for his notebook in his bag. “I called before coming here, Jungkook said it would be convenient if we contacted him in the nighttime.”

“Taking into account what he does for a living,” Jungkook explains. “I thought we would have more opportunities to reach him at this time of the day.”

“You right, working hours.” Namjoon says.

“He told me he is leaving Seoul today.” Hoseok speaks while taking a sip of his lemonade soda. “He is picking up one of his workers at the hotel we’re staying at, he said ‘ one of my precious jewels’. Of course, he’s talking about him.”

“Did he offer you his services?” Taehyung speaks and Jungkook looks at him, almost surprised. “I mean, that’s what we are trying to do, right?”

“Yes,” Hoseok answers “he did offer me services but he said it couldn’t be who we need it”

Namjoon hums and processes the information. Sometimes he feels like they’re getting nowhere and that makes him feel impatience. They’d been spending two weeks in this place, trying to reach the man who finally answer the fucking phone the same damn day he is leaving the city. They’re the luckiest. 

When Hoseok called him to talk about a new case he was working on, Namjoon didn’t expect it to be something like this. He expected some defiant situation like they usually manage but this was something different. There was nothing extraordinary but Hoseok had found some interesting stuff about this. There was this man, not much older than them, who worked as a companion and was pretty famous in the underworld of rich people.

They called him “The Jewel”. 

To rich people, Hoseok is the only detective and member of the police department who’s trustworthy to take cases that involve high and public figures. Hoseok works in silence and always finds justice, even if that harms the rich people. He does his work.

He has received many cases where people want to find this man, accusing him of being a swindler but Hoseok never finds anything, and the people who accuse him always abandon the case in the middle of everything. Maybe because they know it’s futile to go after him.

Namjoon was interested in this cause he didn’t believe this was about a swindler, because none of those people had lost anything from their belongings. But he was curious cause the men who reported him always said: “he made me fall in love with him, and that’s his strategy” . It just didn’t make sense but it also didn’t make sense the number of men who reported him. “Strategy”? For what?

“Did he tell you why we can’t meet him?” Jungkook asks with a frown.

“He said he’s finishing his services this week with a big client and he’s having a break after that.” 

Namjoon sighs and taps his fingers on the table. “Did he tell you at what time?”

“What time what?” Hoseok asks.

“What time was ‘ The Jewel’ leaving?”

“He said it.” Jungkook answers before Hoseok. “He said at midnight.” 

Namjoon takes a look at his wrist to check the time on his watch. 11:27 pm. Almost midnight.

“He wouldn’t tell us anything more,” Hoseok is the one who speaks again. “didn’t want to take a risk.”

“You think we can find him if we wait at the lobby until midnight?” Taehyung asks and Hoseok reconsiders the option. 

“That could work,” Jungkook says. “We don’t know him, but we have some hints we can catch.”

“I guess we’re leaving for the hotel again.”

As they planned, Taehyung sits comfortably on a sofa in the waiting area of the lobby, Jungkook stays near the entrance hall with Hoseok and Namjoon goes directly to the elevator.

It’s already midnight but they haven’t seen anything weird yet. No one has gone down the elevator except an old lady with her suitcase ready to leave the hotel. That’s why Namjoon decided to take the trip on the elevator to make sure the person they were looking for hadn’t gone yet.

When Namjoon enters the elevator, the 17th floor is shining in blue light meaning someone called the elevator up. 

He wishes he could go to his room and sleep, he’s tired and knows that tomorrow he would have to wake up early to leave and go back to Ilsan without anything concrete to write about, and that makes him kinda frustrated.

When the elevator reaches the floor, the doors open wide and Namjoon finds a man staring at him. He’s tall and his face seems straight out of a magazine. Maybe a model, Namjoon thinks.

The man enters the elevator. Namjoon feels something in his chest, the same thing he feels when he knows something important is going to happen. The man presses the button to the lobby, and Namjoon suddenly feels that his hunch may be right. Maybe this person is The Jewel . It’s the perfect timing.

Namjoon’s phone vibrates and he sees a text from Jungkook that says:

  “There’s a car waiting by the entrance, it could be for him.”

And probably it is.

At the same time, the man’s phone rings, and when he searches for it, his scarf drops, and without thinking twice Namjoon crouches to give it to him. Namjoon can see him closer and God, he wishes he hadn’t seen him so close. 

The man is beautiful and maybe the word is short for what he is but indeed, he’s overwhelming. 

The man thanks him in a whisper and Namjoon only smiles back. He thinks that’s the prettiest voice he ever heard and now he starts doubting if this is the man they’re looking for. He’s praying that he’s not. 

He wishes he was not.

“You should wear it before you go out. It’s freezing outside.” Namjoon says.

“Thank you, I think I should.” the man answers.

Namjoon smiles at him and musters the courage to speak again. 

“What’s your name?” He finally asks.

The man seems doubtful but just a few seconds later he answers.

“Seokjin.”

He has a name, that’s a good start.

“Pretty name.” Namjoon answers honestly and the man suddenly turns shy.

The elevator doors open and the man gets ready to leave without saying anything else. But it’s Namjoon who speaks.

“My name is Namjoon, nice to meet you.”

And just like that, the elevator doors close. 

—————————

Several months had passed and Namjoon couldn't stop thinking about the man he met at the elevator that night. He told Hoseok that maybe he was the man they were looking for and they’d been searching for him since then. Jungkook and Taehyung are working together trying to get clues or photos but it’s been useless. 

He’s nowhere to be found.

Namjoon visited many brothels in Seoul with Hoseok but no one said anything, they were getting desperate. 

Namjoon tries to keep searching for something that guides him to the man. That gorgeous man that he can’t stop thinking about. 

Snapping him out of thought, his phone rings and the tactile screen shines with the name “Taehyungie” . He picks up the phone.

“Hey.”

“Hyung, I think we found him.”

With those words said he stands up from his desk chair and makes his way out of his office. 

“Where? Are you there with Jungkook?” Namjoon’s standing in front of the elevator ready to take a bus and go where his brother is.

“Yes, we are close to the brothel where we think he works.” Silence for a second. “It’s a fancy place, it’s a casino, they called it ‘The Jewelry’ ... Quite ingenious, right?”

“And very obvious, too.”

—————————

He hated it. Seokjin hated when Jimin didn’t let him have his drinks before he had an appointment with his clients. That little brat.

“Hyung, you can’t be drunk while you’re working.”

“Fuck I can’t,” Seokjin was already sensitive, Jimin wasn’t the reason but he was the one near him. “How do you think I bear fucking with five men almost every night? Obviously not sober.”

“Yes, I know, but Yoongi hyung already scolds me for letting you drink before every appointment you have.”

“Just suck his dick and he’ll be all fine.”

Seokjin knows he’s being a bitch about it, but he’s outraged and he can’t control himself right now. He just wants a drink. 

Jimin rolls his eyes and searches for Seokjin’s favorite liquor, he pours the liquid into a glass and hands it to Seokjin. The older gives him a small smile and the blonde man behind the bar just shakes his head. 

“Sorry for being an asshole, I’m not really in a mood”

Jimin offers him a sweet smile and nods. “That’s okay, hyung. I thought you wouldn’t be here tonight.”

Seokjin tastes de liquor and lets it burn down his throat. “I shouldn’t, it’s my day off. But Yoongi called and told me I had an important client. He didn’t say who but well, money is money.”

Yoongi, the man who ran the brothel where the both of them work, he’s not the owner but the secondhand. Yoongi and Seokjin met at the same time they started working with this man, both young and dumb with the only desire to get out of his family and their unfortunate destiny. Seokjin is older than Yoongi and he had always taken care of him since then, they’re almost like blood brothers who love each other unconditionally.

Yoongi hates his work but is attached to it just like Seokjin, with the little difference that Seokjin has been promised to leave soon. 

It’s another story for Yoongi.

In a matter of seconds, Yoongi leaves his office and goes directly to the bar where Seokjin and Jimin have a quiet conversation. Seokjin sees how Jimin’s eyes open wide and shine as he stares somewhere behind him, he follows his gaze and finds the small but big figure of Yoongi.

“Hey, Yoongi-yah.”

“Hyung,” Yoongi nods and then offers a smile to Jimin who blushes and smiles back. “I’m glad you came, thought you would ignore me.”

Seokjin huffs and drinks from his glass again. “I still have the intention to leave, don’t tempt me.”

“Hyung, before you say anything,” Jimin says to Yoongi. “he forced me to give him the drink. He even took the icebreaker and threaten me.” 

Yoongi laughs and Seokjin suddenly makes a noise like he’s about to puke.

“It’s alright, the client you’re seeing isn’t here for what you usually do.”

Seokjin stares at him with a frown.

“Holy shit, Yoongi.” Seokjin says annoyed. “Another man who just wants to jerk off in front of me?”

Jimin’s eyes open comically wide but Yoongi only sighs and rubs his temple.

“I already apologize about that time, hyung.”

Seokjin huffs in disbelief and gets a little bit more annoyed than he was before. After that incident years ago, Yoongi promised him that he would be more careful with the clients he booked for Seokjin. That’s when his position changed to something higher, a position where he could choose what clients he wanted to work with, in some way, that was a relief for him but that didn’t make him any happier.

He was looking for liberty but a what cost?

He still remembers the first time he had to do this, how Yoongi had to hear the whole thing because “that’s how you learn”, or at least that was what his boss said to them.

He remembered how Yoongi's eyes were blank and lifeless after what happened, he was crying but Seokjin thinks he wasn’t aware of that. He was paler than he is and his hands were shaking the whole time, he was sure he wanted to do something but he couldn’t.

Seokjin was eighteen, Yoongi seventeen.

When the incident happened, Yoongi felt like the worst person in the world and apologize to his hyung several times, Seokjin wasn’t mad with him but he couldn’t find the strength to tell him so. They didn’t talk for days until Seokjin couldn’t handle it anymore.

Since then, Yoongi always takes care of Seokjin, as if he was his hyung and not otherwise.

“Sorry for mentioning that,” Seokjin apologizes and places his hands above Yoongi’s. “I’m so tired and I really don’t wanna be here, Yoongi.”

“I know and I’m sorry, but this client isn’t like that man. He said he just wants someone to talk to.”

Seokjin frowns and somehow, he knows Jimin is too. “I don’t know if you have noticed, Yoongi, but I’m a whore, not a therapist.”

“He’s not looking for advice, it’s something like dirty talking and that stuff.”

“That’s a new one.” Jimin laughs and continues polishing the glasses from the bar.

“Listen Yoongi,” Seokjin starts. “I’m good at fucking not talking.”

Yoongi starts feeling uneasy with Seokjin's brattiness, he wants to punch him.

“He already paid, just go talk to him.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes and stands from the bar stool leaving Yoongi and Jimin behind, he walks up to the stairs where his room is. The second floor is the VIP area, beside him are two more “jewels” as his boss called them. The first one is Seonhi, a girl the same age as Seokjin, they were friends and their rooms are next to each other, just in case she needs something (like being saved from a client). The other one is Minjae, a boy. Probably the same age as Jimin, he’s young, too young for this life. His room is right in from of Seokjin, he heard a scream one time, a scream that he couldn’t believe could come from a boy like him, so sweet and kind.

He wished he hadn’t heard it because he couldn’t do anything for him, he couldn’t leave his client and to this day, he feels guilty for not helping him.

He was just a boy when that happen, even younger than Seokjin when he came here.

When Seokjin unlocks the door of his room, Seonhi comes out the door and leans on the frame, arms crossed above his chest.

“What are you doing here?” Seonhi spits out.

Seokjin snorts and a smirk forms on his lips. “Good to see you too, darling.”

“Thought it was your day off.”

“It is, but seems like I have an emergency client.” Seokjin answers with a bit of sarcasm in his voice, a little annoyed by the situation. Seonhi offers him a sad smile.

“I saw him,” She whispers as if someone else could hear them talk. “It’s a tall man, very handsome, by the way.” She gives him a knowing smirk.

“Should be careful not to fall in love, then.” Seokjin jokes and gives her a reassuring pat on the head. At least he now knows the man is handsome.

As Seokjin enters the room he can immediately smell the expensive perfume that covers the room, a masculine and exotic scent. An expensive scent.

A man is standing in front of the big window that faces the city, he has his hands tucked in his pockets and hasn’t noticed the presence of Seokjin. He gets rid of his coat and places it on the chair by his dresser table. Today, he only wears a white silky shirt with buttons that seem to shine in the limelight of the room. A pair of black slacks and his recently buy dress shoes. 

He looks expensive too, very fancy for a whore , he thinks.

Seokjin clears his throat to call the attention of the man who immediately turns with an endearing expression. He looks very surprised, almost scared.

“I- I’m sorry, didn’t hear you coming.” The man’s voice is very deep, but at the same time is soft, almost velvety. Seokjin finds it interesting. 

“It’s okay,” Seokjin smiles faintly at him. “I like being quiet and mysterious.”

Seokjin walks to the table near the minibar and the window, he makes a sign to the man to come sit with him and he only nods in response. Now that he’s closer, Seokjin can see his hair is something near blonde or brown, probably chestnut. He looks very good in fact. His skin seems sunkissed and his eyes are definitely one of the most imponent eyes Seokjin has ever seen. Seonhi was right, the man is very handsome.

And somehow, he remembers seeing him before.

But Seokjin feels something is off, the man seems nervous and won't look him in the eyes, as if he was here against his will or maybe it was the first time he does this. He doesn’t look like someone who would go to brothels or involve himself on this side of life.

“So, tell me,” Seokjin pours liquor into a glass and hands it to the man. He rests his chin on his hand and looks at the chestnut curiously. “what brings you here, sweetheart? Doesn’t seem like this is a place you’re familiar with. Am I right?”

The brown-headed man sips from his glass and hisses at the strong flavor of the drink. Maybe he doesn’t drink either, or maybe he does.

“I have my reasons.”

Seokjin lifts his eyebrows and the man offers him a small smile and drinks again.

“I heard you came here just to talk.” Seokjin leans back and crosses his arms, never leaving the man’s eyes. “But I think you need to know, I don’t do therapy, honey.”

The man smiles and a pair of dimples show. Fuck, that’s cute.

“I’m not here for therapy.”

Seokjin looks at him in silence, as if he was trying to decipher the man’s intentions.

“I need to talk to you about something else.” The man leans back too but he crosses his legs instead, not only his eyes are imponent, he is too. “I need to know something about you.”

“Are you some kind of procurer who’s looking for whores or something like that?” Seokjin huffs sarcastically. 

“Why don’t you tell me your name, mh?”

“Tell me yours instead, I can’t tell you mine.”

“Privacy politics? Didn’t know this place was that strict.”

For some reason that makes Seokjin angry, who the fuck he thinks he is? Fucking rich prick. He’s just like everyone who came here, he didn’t know why he was expecting something different.

“Just because this is a brothel doesn’t mean we don’t have rules. Every place like this has it, in case you didn’t know.” Seokjin leans over now and grabs a glass to serve himself a drink. He can’t continue this sober, he needs alcohol in his system.

“That’s why it was so hard to find you, none of you uses their real names.”

Seokjin frowns at that. Who’s this man? 

“Find me?” he asks.

The man follows Seokjin’s actions and leans over too, he drinks all the liquor left in his glass and offers Seokjin a knowing smile. He doesn’t look like the man before, the one with lost eyes or endearing expressions. He looks tough and now Seokjin feels quite uncomfortable.

“I already find you before, but at that moment I didn’t know it was you who I was looking for.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Seokjin says trying to keep his voice steady.

“You’re Seokjin, right?”

And suddenly he remembers where he had seen that face before. He can’t believe this is happening.

“Y-you’re the man from the elevator, right?” Seokjin doesn’t move and probably he isn’t breathing either. 

“I really wished it wasn’t you.” The chestnut whispers and his voice sounds a bit disappointed.

“Who are you and why you were looking for me? Are you a policeman?” Seokjin doesn’t want to panic but he doesn’t know what to do either.

The man huffs and smirks. “They wished they would be me. But no, I am not a policeman.”

Namjoon. Seokjin remembers his name, he still remembers the dimpled smile he offered him before the elevator doors closed. He still remembers that moment, he remembers having wished at that time not to be who he was. He had wished to be a normal person who can invite someone he just met at the elevator for dinner. 

That time, he’d wished he could fall in love.

“Who are you?” Seokjin now sits a bit tense, his hands into fits over the table. 

“You already know my name, Seokjin-ssi.”

“I don’t mean your name, Namjoon-ssi. I mean who are you ?”

Namjoon stands up from his seat and walks again to the window. He crosses his hands behind his back and stares at the city again.

“I’ve been told, you swindled men, and make them fall in love with you, Seokjin-ssi.”

Seokjin huffs in disbelief. “Are you here for that shit? You want me to make you fall in love with me and that crap? You are that desperate?” 

Namjoon turns again to him, the moonlight and the lights from the city make him look even more handsome. His hair somehow glows and his skin shines, he looks pretty under the limelight of the room.

“I’m just interested in what kind of life you’re living.” Namjoon smiles and walks right to where Seokjin is sitting. “To me, it doesn’t makes sense you go everywhere courting man just to leave them later. It has to be something else.”

“It’s not.” Seokjin answers quickly. “It’s just my job.”

“Why did you choose this job?” Namjoon's voice sounds truly concerned.

“I think that’s a very personal question, Namjoon-ssi.”

Namjoon laughs and nods. He’s very attractive and shit, that soft smile is doing things to Seokjin.

“Look,” The man starts speaking again. “I’m not here to arrest you or something like that. I’m a journalist, I write.”

Seokjin hums. “And you’re having a hard time? That’s why you came here to me? To fuck me or whatever kinky shit you want to do?”

“I’m not here for that. I want to write about you.”

Seokjin can believe his ears, this is the craziest shit that has ever happened to him. 

“Yeah, right. Look, Namjoon-ssi,” Seokjin stands and confronts the man in front of him. He’s a bit taller than him, shit, he’s so fine. “I don’t have time for this, this was my day off, okay? You’re a kinky bitch and I get it, I am too. Sometimes. You want me to fuck you? Okay, but please stop this stupid joke right now.”

“Men in higher positions have reported you to the authorities.” Namjoon’s voice sounds serious and not to be messed with. “I’ve been working on your case with a detective for a long time, but we don’t want to take you to jail. You haven’t done anything wrong in our opinion”.

Namjoon sighs and closes his eyes for a second, he rubs his temple. Seokjin lifts his hand without thinking and when he finally notices, he’s grabbing Namjoon’s wrist to stop him. Namjoon opens his eyes slowly and stares at Seokjin with curiosity. 

“What do you mean I’m being investigated?”

Namjoon doesn’t react to the feeling of Seokjin’s hand holding his wrist, he waits patiently until he lets it go and apologizes in a quiet voice.

“A friend of mine is a detective and he was quite concerned about you,” Namjoon speaks softly and slowly as if he’s trying to make sure Seokjin is understanding what he’s trying to tell him. “He knows I’m very interested in this kind of situation and that’s why he reach for me. I’m not helping him, instead, he’s helping me.”

The brown-headed man sounds convincing, Seokjin knows when someone’s trying to trick him or lying right to his face. Namjoon doesn’t seem to be one of those people. He speaks frankly, and with seriousness, you can tell he’s taking things in a very professional way, his voice never wavers nor sounds pitcher. He has a pretty neutral voice and Seokjin wishes he can ignore the slight shine in his eyes.

He seems passionate. 

“And when your friend finds out you know where and who I am?” Seokjin keeps his neutral voice. “Then what? You will protect me or it won’t matter then?”

“Both of us,” Namjoon gets closer this time. “we want to help you.”

Maybe it’s the way he stands in front of Seokjin or maybe it’s the way he looks so confident about being here. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s been looking for him all this time, or maybe it’s just the impact he left in Seokjin the first time they met that makes him want to believe Namjoon. Every word he says, Seokjin wants to be true. 

Maybe he’s been living lying for too long, and for the first time, he needs something to be true.

He’s scared about everything, he’s been living with fear all of these years but he had managed to keep it to himself and show a strong image. But the truth is other and Seokjin’s fucking scared about what would happen if he decides to believe in the tall, dimple smile man that’s in front of him.

“Why do you think I need your help?”

“‘Cause I know things,” Namjoon answers in a lower voice. “I know you want to get out of here, but you can’t.”

“I can.” Seokjin affirms without believing in his own words.

“Do you? Tell me, Seokjin-ssi,” He’s too close right now, Seokjin can feel his breath close to his nose. “Do you really can get out of here whenever you want?”

This time Seokjin isn’t sure about what he should say. 

He should tell him the truth? That the man he works with, had promised him multiple times to let him go but always puts excuses to prevent that to happen? That the man he works with, probably, could kill him if he ever chooses to leave without having a deal? Of course, he can’t tell him the truth.

Namjoon seems like an honest person and Seokjin is sure about that, he can tell his intentions are good but he can’t afford this. He can’t afford to have someone defending him from his boss and all the shit he’s going through.

He can’t have that privilege.

He looks at Namjoon questioning himself for a second, he wishes he could have another life or maybe turn back the time and don’t make this fuck up decision. He wishes he had met Namjoon in another way, in another place.

“I’ll let you help,” Seokjin answers at the end. “I’ll let you write about me.”

“Well, that would mean seeing each other often.” Namjoon smiles, briefly, but smiles. “I’ll book you twice a week, that’s okay with you?” The man asks with interest. Seokjin nods in response.

“Leave the weekend for my real job, that’s when I have more clients.”

“I’ll come Mondays and Wednesdays, okay?”

Seokjins watches as Namjoon takes a small notebook out of his pocket and scribbles something, he puts back the notebook in his pocket and gives a soft smile to Seokjin. He should stop smiling at him like that.

“I’ll tell your boss I’m gonna be a constant in here.”

Seokjin huffs. “He’s not my boss, he wishes he was.” Namjoon looks at him with confusion. “He just handles everything in here, he’s my friend.”

“Okay, I’ll tell your friend I’ll be a constant client. ” He says the last word as if he was telling something ironic or sarcastic. As if he didn’t mean to say it.

“You’re gonna be such an interesting client, Namjoon-ssi.”

“I won’t. I won’t be your client,” Silence for a moment. “I’ll be your storyteller.”

And just like that, Seokjin has someone to talk to every Monday and Wednesday of the week.

Chapter Text

Seokjin is tired and sore everywhere, so much he can barely keep his eyes open. He bites his lips every time the man on top of him trusts his hips and tries to make any sound. Seokjin rarely cries when being fucked, but for some reason, he feels so vulnerable today.

This is the third man he sleeps with this night.

The only things he can see are the red lights that paint the whole room and the curtains of the big window blurring the city lights. He thinks he’s going to pass out at any time cause he starts seeing black dots everywhere. He’s really tired.

Seokjin doesn’t even realize when the man isn’t on top of him anymore, suddenly he just feels his body less heavy and tense. 

“Hey pretty, thanks for the fuck.” Seokjin isn’t listening. “Next time you have to choose me first, you were a bit loose today. I don’t like that. I like it when you’re tight.”

Seokjin closes his eyes and just like that he hears the door being opened and a second later it closes. Everything is in silence again. The room smells like sweat, alcohol, and smoke of tobacco. He doesn’t have the strength to get up but he cannot allow himself to sleep between sheets with fluids from different men. Seokjin makes a last effort to get up from bed, weak from all the bodywork, he grabs his robe from the floor. His back hurts and his legs keep shaking when he tries to stand on his feet.

“You’ll get used to it, dear.” His boss said one time. But no, he never got used to this. 

He’ll never be.

But he should, he should get used to feeling waves of nausea and tiredness. He should get used to the void it forms in his chest and stomach right after looking at himself in the mirror. He should get used to it.

But he just can’t.

How can someone ever get used to being sexually humiliated every night?

Seokjin walks to the bathroom and takes a quick shower before going to sleep. Usually, he doesn’t do more than three clients per night but when he looks at his reflection in the mirror he starts reconsidering keeping it at two clients. That should be enough, they pay a huge amount of money anyways.

“You’re amazing, Seokjin. Brave,” he says while looking at himself. “strong and… so damn beautiful.”

He leans to wet his face with cold water and repeats the action until he breaks into tears.

“You’re so fucking strong, Jinnie. Why the fuck are you crying?”

It’s nothing new that he cries after a hard day, he doesn’t cry while fucking but after. Sometimes he just cries out of rage, tiredness, or just physical pain, rarely cries for the things that imply having this job; being treated like nothing, and giving a piece of himself to every man that came here looking for a quick fuck. Usually, it’s rich people who came here looking for that, knowing there’s a man so beautiful that can make them forget they have a wife or that they are a grown-ass man still debating their sexuality. “A man so beautiful like a jewel you would like to have in your possession”, that’s how his boss describes him.

A jewel. A thing. A possession.

Seokjin knows too much from that people, he can name every man in higher positions that have come to him and revealed their secrets about power and money. He still remembers every man who has promised to get him out of there and give him a better life in exchange for accepting being their lover. Seokjin knows too much and that’s why a lot of people fear him. 

If what Namjoon said to him the last time they saw each other is true, it would make sense. He may be famous for being “The Jewel”, but he’s also famous for being a swindler, or that’s what those men had said. But in Seokjin's defense, he can’t be blamed for what those men say, they paid for it. They paid for being swindled and now, they’re trying to make Seokjin pay for it too.

Right after taking a shower, he removes the dirty sheets from the bed and changes them to clean ones. Seokjin turns off the lights on his dresser table and lies on the bed watching directly at the ceiling. He doesn’t spend the night in this room very often, just the days he’s feeling very tired and can’t move a muscle, he doesn’t like sleeping here if he’s honest.

Before falling asleep he checks his phone to watch the time: 2:15 am.

He locks the phone and feels how his eyes start closing slowly.

Then the phone rings.

Seokjin opens his eyes slightly annoyed, he was already falling asleep. Who’s gonna call him at this hour? If it’s Yoongi he’ll kill him tomorrow when he sees him. He answers the phone without confirming the name on the screen.

“Yoongi, listen, I don’t care what you need to say I just want to sleep okay?”

There’s a long silence in the other line. 

“Yoongi?” Seokjin speaks again.

“You don’t even check who’s calling, don’t you?” 

Seokjin’s body freezes and suddenly he’s very awake now. He feels cold running down his spine and slowly starts sitting on his bed. That voice again.

“I-I’m so sorry, sir. I am sleepy and…”

“Shut up, kiddo.” The man in the other line spits annoyed. “Look, I’m in the city right now, you know I can’t stay for too long but I need to see you.”

Seokjin gulps and feels his hands trembling, he’s trying to keep holding the phone.

“Yeah-yes, sir.” He answers fighting his shaky voice. “Where do you want me to go?”

“I sent a car to pick you up at The Jewelry,” The man answers with a cold tone. “they’re already waiting for you. Hurry up and get ready.”

The call ends and Seokjin fights the urge to run away from there.

—---------------------------

“You are doing what?”

Namjoon knew that his friend would react like that, he just wanted to be wrong when he came to his office to talk to him about his project. Hoseok sounds concerned, like, truly concerned. He may be thinking Namjoon is smart as fuck for having this idea or, he may be thinking Namjoon is stupid as hell for having this idea. Probably the second.

“What you heard,” Namjoon answers averting his eyes from his friend. “I’m having meetings with this man you’re investigating. The one we’ve been looking for.”

“Yes, I get that.” Hoseok leans on his desk. “But, how the hell are you having meetings with a prostitute, Namjoon?”

“At his workplace.”

Hoseok arches an eyebrow questioning if what his friend just said makes sense. Namjoon is quick to defend himself for whatever lecture Hoseok is about to give him.

“Look, I know this is kinda peculiar and some way extreme,” Namjoon imitates Hoseok's position in front of him. “but I know and I’m sure this gonna work.”

“Man, I don’t know…” Hoseok says a little skeptical. 

“Hey, you know how important to me this project is.”

“Yes, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be helping you with all of this, but you’re getting close to this person and I don’t know if that’s a smart thing to do.”

“Hobah…” Namjoon stares at his friend. “I won’t have another chance like this to write something so important. He’s my chance.”

There are a few seconds filled with silence in the room. Namjoon sighs loudly and closes his eyes a bit frustrated. 

“Look, this sounds crazy to me, but I trust you,” Hoseok says with a serious tone. “Do what you think you need to do. I’ll help with what I can.”

“Thank you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok shakes his head and does a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Don’t mind it. I’m glad to help.”

Namjoon stands from his sit ready to go but his friend says one last word before he leaves.

“Namjoon…”

“Yes?”

“Be careful with this man.” A pause. “Don’t try to be some kind of savior.”

Namjoon accents with his head. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

—-------------------------------------

Seokjin stands in the middle of the room trying to remember what he was about to do once he entered the place. Sometimes he feels this place is like home, but other times it’s just a place where he comes to rest, eat and kill time until he needs to get back to the brothel. 

He always asked himself why would he need a place to live if he can just simply live at the brothel like the other people who worked there. He couldn’t invite people to his place or throw parties with his friends, for a start, no one knows he lives here.

He doesn’t even have friends to invite.

The white walls of his apartment are almost nude, with just five pretentious paintings hanging. All the decoration in the flat was the election of his boss, Seokjin can say that everything he has here isn’t even his. Once his boss lets him go, he won’t have anything and that’s his only fear.

Seokjin walks to the kitchen, grabs a glass from the counter, and serves himself a drink of water. 

He’s been out of the city for three days, he didn’t have a way to contact Namjoon to tell him he wouldn’t be able to meet him this week. They didn’t have each other's numbers for their safety and confidentiality so probably, Namjoon was worried or just didn’t care at all.

Although he did tell Yoongi to inform the man about his absence, Seokjin doesn’t know why he cares so much about what that man could think about him or if he would worry.

He’s just being dumb.

He goes to his bedroom to change clothes and get ready to go to work, but before he can get rid of his clothes he receives a phone call from Yoongi.

“ Hyung!” Yoongi sounds worried.

“Hey, Yoongi-yah”

“ Is everything okay? Did something happen?” A long silence. “Did he do something to you?”

“I’m fine, Yoongi,” Seokjin answers and activates the speaker to be able to change while still listening to Yoongi. “He didn’t do anything, he just made me meet a few men that are working now with him.” 

On the other side of the line, there’s nothing but silence and Seokjin knows very well that Yoongi understands what that means to him.

“Seems like I have new potential clients,” Seokjin searches for a dress shirt beautiful enough to wear tonight. “At least that’s what he said.”

“Did he mention something about your contract?”

“He didn’t. He wouldn’t look for me just to let me go, you know?” The older sighs defeated. “He won’t let me go.”

“Hyung, it’s been ten years already,” Yoongi sounds frustrated. “He should let you go.”

While putting some makeup on, Seokjin fixes his hair a bit and wears a cute set of dangling earrings. He looks stunning tonight, at least he wants to believe it.

“Yeah, he should let you go too.”

“He didn’t make a deal with me. He did it with you.”

“And there’s the fucked up thing, Yoongi. He should let us go, but he won’t.”

For a few seconds, Seokjin thinks Yoongi has ended the call, a long silence forms, and he waits for the younger to say something else.

“I’ve planned so many times to run away with Jimin,” Yoongi says as if he’s confessing a secret. “But I can’t do that to him. It would be selfish.”

“Yeah, It would be a risk for him.”

Another gap of silence.

“You know I love him, right?”

Seokjin smirks and stops what he’s doing for a second. 

“Yes. I do,” Seokjin sighs. “If it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t have done what you did for him five years ago.”

And no matter how much Seokjin hates to admit it, he knows for sure how the both of them love each other. They are devoted to them and would do anything for the other. When they met Jimin he was still young, Yoongi’s job always consisted of looking for other ‘jewels’, he would visit brothel over brothel and choose the best option for their place. Until one day, at a place of bad death, they found Jimin.

He was twenty-two, he just got there and he was so scared Yoongi had seen it in his eyes.

Yoongi took him with him and made him work at The Jewelry, he told him he wouldn’t let him get hurt by anyone and he wouldn’t be a jewel, he promised him he wouldn’t let him live that life but he need it to keep him next to him to protect him at all cost.

He’d kept his word and Jimin will be forever grateful to him. 

It was a matter of time, but as time passed, they fell for each other. Maybe was gratitude on Jimin’s side, but Seokjin knows that feeling became something more than that. Seokjin can affirm that he has never seen those eyes with which they look at each other before; the way their eyes shine when they share secret glances between them that only Seokjin can catch. 

Although Jimin tried to prevent it, it was useless. They were made for each other and they knew it very well.

Seokjin has faith in love because he has seen Jimin and Yoongi look at each other.

“I wish I could give him a better life than this.”

“You are doing enough for him, you know he doesn’t want anything else from you.”

Yoongi snorts in the other line, barely believing in his hyung’s words. “You’re coming already?”

“On my way.”

“Cool, here’s your new friend waiting for you.”

“What?” Seokjin frowns.

“The tall with brown hair.”

Seokjin blinks in disbelief. What is he doing there? It’s not Monday or Wednesday, he told him he wouldn’t see him this week. 

“You didn’t tell him I wasn’t going to meet him this week?”

“Looks like someone is falling for you.”

“Don’t say bullshit Yoongi, this isn’t like that.”

When Seokjin arrives at The Jewelry he walks right to his favorite barstool, greets Jimin with a wink and Jimin smiles back in response.

“Your client is already upstairs.”

Seokjin sighs and leans on the counter. “Can I have a drink first, please?”

“No, now go to your new lover.”

Seokjin tsks annoyed and mutters something out of indignation. “You should break up with Yoongi, he’s a bad influence.”

Jimin laughs and hands a glass with a yellow liquid in it, Seokjin smirks and goes directly to the stairs. He knows this place by heart, when he first came here he was scared of the imponent red and pink lights, the gothic structure and the many rooms they had on the first floor. Seokjin remembers asking his boss if he was sure this wasn’t a place where vampires used to live, that’s the only time he saw that man genuinely smile. 

When Seokjin made it to the second floor, walks to his room and sees the door from Seohni’s slightly open. That’s weird. She never lets it open, not even when she’s in a hurry. With a frown, he gets closer to her room and the closeness allows him to listen to voices coming from her room. Maybe she’s with a client or talking with one of the staff. When Seokjin gets closer knocks on the door and the voices stop.

In a matter of seconds, Seohni is standing in front of him with a confused look in her eyes. 

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Like five seconds? What do you think I am?” Seokjin waits for an answer but he isn’t getting one. “I’m not a freak. I may be a whore but I’m not a snitch.”

“What do you want?” Seohni changes her weight from one leg to another.

“Just wanna ask you if you’re okay, I saw your door open and it was weird.”

“Yeah, I’m just talking with someone.”

And before he can say anything, a man is emerging from behind Seohni and Seokjin knows very well who he is.

Namjoon.

“What are you doing here?” Seokjin asks confused.

“I wanted to talk, you were taking too long.” Now, is Namjoon who speaks to him.

Seokjin rolls his eyes and Seohni snorts looking between them.

“It seems like you really like to talk.”

Seokjin turns around and goes straight to his room, Namjoon says goodbye to Seohni and bows a little to her, to which Seohni laughs and says goodbye with a pat on the chestnut back.

They enter the room and Namjoon closes the door behind him. Seokjin gets rid of his coat and sits on the bed manspreading, his arms supporting himself from the back and he watches Namjoon as he removes his coat and places it on the chair by the table near the window. 

Maybe is the intense gaze in Seokjin’s eyes, but Namjoon catches him staring directly at him, like checking on him or analyzing something the younger can’t know. Namjoon stares for a few seconds until he can’t bear it anymore, he’s never been a man to win a staring contest.

On the other hand, Seokjin feels a little playful tonight and he’s not sure if he wants to have a serious talk with Namjoon today. He doesn’t feel like working tonight.

“I told you we would only see each other on Mondays and Wednesdays,” Seokjin speaks. “Why are you here?”

Namjoon is sitting on the chair and he’s writing something in that silly notebook he always carries. Tonight he’s wearing glasses, usually, he wouldn’t use them here but one day, Seokjin caught him struggling to read a book Seokjin had lent him. He looks handsome, like the first time they met.

“I asked Yoongi if you were booked tonight, and he said no, so I told him I would book you.”

“You missed me?” Seokjin jokes with a tone of mirth.

Namjoon doesn’t answer that, he only snorts and keeps writing.

“One month of seeing each other is enough to make you miss me.” Seokjin pushes.

“Yes, but we are not in that kind of relationship, Seokjin-ssi.”

And the way Namjoon calls him makes Seokjin roll his eyes in annoyance. He hates it when he talks to him formally.

“Ugh,” Seokjin starts dropping himself onto the mattress. “Can you please stop calling me like that?”

“Why?” Namjoon asks.

“I don’t like formalities.” 

“Sorry, but you’re older than me and I just can’t stop being polite.”

“Bullshit.”

“Sorry?”

“You can stop being polite, you just decided not to.”

And what Seokjin said may be true, but probably there’s another reason why Namjoon doesn’t let himself be too comfortable around Seokjin. He has to be careful.

Seokjin is a handsome man, very much attractive and impossible to ignore. Maybe Namjoon can understand why these men are trying to get revenge, it’s humiliating for people like them to be ignored by someone so beautiful. Namjoon could say that maybe, just maybe, no one deserves someone like Seokjin.

He’s unreal, and that’s why Namjoon needs to be careful around him.

Namjoon gets up from the chair and walks to Seokjin, the elder has his eyes closed and looks like he used a glittery shadow this time, he’s wearing a pair of dangling earrings and Namjoon can say this is the first time he uses it around him. Usually, Seokjin wears small stones or pearls, but this is the first time he wears them. He looks gorgeous.

“Can I ask you a question?” Namjoon speaks.

Seokjin opens his eyes and stares with curiosity at the man in front of him.

“You have asked many questions this past month, Namjoon-ah.”

“Sorry, I know but it’s necessary for the investigation.”

Seokjin laughs endeared with the chestnut’s answer. “You don’t have to be sorry, I allowed you to ask questions. I’m helping you with your homework.”

A small smile forms on Namjoon’s face, he thinks Seokjin is a very funny person, and he’s comfortable to be with.

“It’s my job, Seokjin-ssi, not my homework.”

“I know, honey. I love teasing.” Seokjin sits on the bed to look better at Namjoon. “What was your question?”

“How many men have you slept with?”

The elder stares with silence, he’s impressed. Namjoon doesn’t have any fear of asking what he wants to ask.

“That’s a very personal and intimate question, dear.” Seokjin is teasing and a sarcastic smirk is showing on his face. “But I’ll give you the info.” He winks.

He stands from the bed and walks to the minibar, pours the liquor into a crystal glass, and takes a sip. Namjoon only stares quietly, following every movement and waiting for an answer. Seokjin turns and smiles at Namjoon.

“I’ve been working here for ten years, honey. I lost count.”

Namjoon keeps quiet. He wants to say something else but he’s waiting to find the right words, but then he just goes for it.

“That’s a lot of time.”

Seokjin walks to sit on the chair and crosses his legs, drinking more and somehow Namjoon could tell that having memories from all those years made Seokjin feel uneasy and sad. The elder has piercing eyes and looks pretty intense but at the same time sweet, he’s serious but cute and Namjoon would dare to say that somehow, Seokjin looks younger than he is, younger and innocent. He isn’t sure at what age he came here, but he can tell he didn’t know what he was doing at that time.

Namjoon is genuinely curious about him, he’s curious to know what made him come here, what was he expecting at that time, and how he found this place and the people he works for.

“I was very young when I came here,” Seokjin says while drawing circles around the glass. “I was nineteen.”

“Where you used to live, Seokjin-ssi?”

Namjoon sits on the chair next to him, he fixes his glasses and looks attentive at Seokjin. The elder only smirks.

“I used to live out of the city, lovely place, lovely people.”

“What made you leave?” Namjoon frowns, and Seokjin can see how concerned he is. He finds it endearing.

“It wasn’t my paradise.” 

The crease between Namjoon's brows increases and now he looks slightly confused.

“Everyone wanted to stay there, live there forever.” Seokjin continues. “But it just wasn’t my dream. I’ve always dreamed big. I wanted to be an actor, but the situation with my family didn’t allow me to dream that much.”

“What happened with your family?”

“I’m not sure, I left a year later after my father died.” Silence. “Not so sure about my mom, we didn’t talk a lot.”

The journalist now serves himself a drink, he’s not writing in his notebook this time as he usually does, and that makes Seokjin feel as if he’s having a real conversation with someone who may be truly interested in what he has to say. Somehow it’s easier to talk to Namjoon, he wouldn’t tell anyone what he lived before coming to this place. The only person in the world who knows him whole is Yoongi and no one else. He has no friends.

“How did your father die?” Namjoon speaks again. “He was sick or something?”

Seokjin grimaces and takes another sip. “He wasn’t. He killed himself.”

And definitely, Namjoon didn’t expect that answer. 

“Don’t look so surprised!” Seokjin scolds while playfully hitting Namjoon’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“It’s okay, dear. It’s now in the past.”

The elder stares at his empty glass of liquor and stays silent for a moment. Namjoon just looks at him waiting for Seokjin to do something else, he knows he wants to say something more and Namjoon thinks that at this point, he doesn’t need to ask questions. Seokjin wants to talk, that’s what usually happens between them. Namjoon can ask three simple questions to Seokjin, and he would decide if he wants to answer them, but when he answers all of them he starts talking without being questioned because Namjoon had realized that Seokjin likes to talk but he has never had someone to do so. At least, not like this.

Sometimes Namjoon would ask him questions about his favorite food or favorite liquor, sometimes they would talk about the silliest and simple things, about the weather, or anything that can put Seokjin at ease. Because Namjoon had realized that Seokjin finds comfort in simple things.

“I left 'cause that wasn’t my place to be. I wanted something big, I was ambitious and now look at me. Look where it got me. I have everything I wanted but, am I happy? No, I’m not.” Seokjin sighs. “I wish I could turn back time, not to stay at that place or be friends with my parents. But maybe to change my mind and say no to that man who offered me facilities. Sometimes I just want to say no, but I can’t. The time where I could say no has passed and I’ve made my decision.”

The younger doesn’t push further, he feels Seokjin said what he wanted to say and that’s enough for Namjoon. Instead, he changes the topic.

“Did you ever fall in love?” 

And that question takes Seokjin by surprise. 

It’s hard for him to know if he has ever fallen in love, he didn’t know people before he came here. He didn’t even have a normal life before, he only had one friend when he was a kid but he couldn’t see him anymore when he grow up. Maybe he knows how it’s to be in love, but he was a kid so he isn’t sure about that.

“I cannot tell.”

“The clients don’t count.” Namjoon jokes and Seokjin only huffs.

“Maybe when I was little.”

“We all fall in love when we’re kids.”

“You fell in love with someone?”

Namjoon looks at him and stays silent. He shouldn’t answer, they’re not talking about him. But Namjoon can’t say no to those eyes and he speaks.

“When I was little.”

Seokjin grins and something he could never think would happen hits him. Suddenly, he doesn’t want to look away from Namjoon. 

They’re both silent while looking at each other, Seokjin feels how his throat starts feeling dry. Maybe is the alcohol, maybe not. It’s been a month since they started with the meetings, Namjoon always writes everything Seokjin says, every piece of information, and everything he asks the elder. But this is the first time he finds it difficult to keep sharing the room with Namjoon as if the man could take all the air in the room and change it to his sweet scent. As if the whole room suddenly doesn’t feel dark and heavy, and Seokjin is afraid of starting to feel this place comfortable, only with Namjoon there.

“You are in love with someone now?” Seokjin asks.

“I’m afraid that I am not.” Namjoon leans back in the chair without glancing away from Seokjin. “You?”

“I’m afraid I share your status too.”

—----------------------------------

Seokjin can’t believe he’s been seeing Namjoon for half a year now. It’s insane how time flies and especially when he’s with him. They talk a lot, he answers questions and sometimes they just exchange their opinions about certain topics, and Seokjin had realized Namjoon is quite similar to him. 

They both like the same genre of music, they love art in different ways; Seokjin loves theater and Namjoon loves paintings. Namjoon enjoys poetry and Seokjin sleeps with an orchestra playlist. They share something and to Namjoon that’s priceless.

Namjoon also noticed that Seokjin likes to sing. Sometimes he would hear him sing in the shower, and other times he would sing to Namjoon when he was transcribing the notes in his notebook to his laptop. Seokjin has a sweet and calm voice. 

The last months had been a bit difficult for Namjoon, he had to stop their meetings for a few weeks since his younger brother Taehyung had fallen sick. He had to return to Daegu ‘cause his brother was taking a rest in his parent's house and he wasn't able to see Seokjin those days. Although Seokjin worried a little, he didn't dare to ask about his brother's condition. He didn't have the right to do it and would have been weird to ask ‘cause Namjoon never shares too much information about himself, he’s too careful with his private life around Seokjin. He didn't tell him he was going to Daegu, though, he shared the prudent information.

Namjoon contacted Seokjin though he wasn't in the city just to tell him when he was coming back. And now, he's waiting for him as if he's sitting at an airport bar waiting for someone he hasn’t seen for years.

The brothel hasn't opened yet but Jimin is on the other side of the bar polishing crystal glasses. Yoongi, on the other hand, writes something in a big-ass book that Seokjin supposes has important information about the place. Money earned, bills to pay, bitches to fuck, and all that business shit that Yoongi does since that's his actual work. 

“Hyung, if you keep biting your nails you'll get hurt,” Jimin says, concerned with Seokjin’s unusual behavior.

“Sorry, don't know what's wrong with me today.”

And he's not lying, when he realized today is the day Namjoon comes back he felt something strange. He knows he will see him after a few weeks, but somehow this time feels different. Almost as if he's been waiting for years to see him again as if Namjoon was his best friend of all time and this is the first time they see each other. It’s a strange feeling, but somehow, Seokjin likes to feel something like that.

“In fact, I am interested in knowing what's your relationship with this man.”

Yoongi drops the pencil he was using to write in the book and now stares at Seokjin with interest. Seokjin sighs.

“I think it is useless to keep it hidden.” Seokjin rests his head on his hand and pretends to be defeated. “We're getting married.”

Jimin stops what he's doing and his jaw drops. Is funny to see how innocent Jimin can be sometimes.

“Baby, don't believe him,” Yoongi says to Jimin as if it were obvious that the elder is playing games with them. “He's just being a little shit as always.” 

Seokjin laughs and rolls his eyes. “There’s nothing like that happening guys, there’s nothing romantic between us.”

“Hyung, but it's kinda weird, don't you think?” Jimin says. “He's always around, he books you twice a week and he lets you know when he won't be able to come.”

Yoongi only keeps staring at Seokjin.

“We don't fuck.”

Silence.

“We talk. That's what we do.” The elder sighs and closes his eyes in defeat. “He's a journalist, he's writing a book. A book about me.”

Jimin glances at his boyfriend who's only watching Seokjin with genuine curiosity. He seems to believe him.

“He told me that, a friend of his, a detective,” Seokjin emphasizes. “Is working on a case where I'm the target. They've been looking for me because those little shits of men I fuck with said that I have tricked them.”

At this, Yoongi seems truly worried.

“The police are looking for you?!” 

“They're not. Namjoon says that they don't care about me, they were just trying to find me because of him. He wanted to write about my case.”

“And you believed him?!” Yoongi never yells, but it seems like that’s the only way he can react right now.

“Love, don’t yell,” Jimin says in his soft and sweet voice, Yoongi apologizes in a low voice but looks at Seokjin again. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Seokjin?” 

“Yoongi-ah, you have to trust me. He’s not trying to do anything.”

“How can I be sure about that? How can I be sure he won’t do anything to you?”

Seokjin frowns and massages his temple. He needs Yoongi to believe him. 

“I know he's different. Somehow, I feel like I've known him for so long.” 

“That's the most ridiculous thing you've said, Seokjin. And you say a lot of ridiculous things.” Yoongi is mad and he can't hide it right now.

“Yoongi…” Jimin tries but is useless, Yoongi won't listen.

“Yoongi-ah, I wouldn't let myself trust in someone I barely know if I hadn't felt safe with that person.” Seokjin is a bit pissed by now.

“That's bullshit.” His friend spits with irony and that bothers Seokjin even more. “How can you feel safe with someone who told you the police were looking for you and he was helping them?” 

“Because I feel I know him, okay?!” 

And maybe he didn't realize, but he just yelled at Yoongi right now. Seokjin it's always loud when he talks, but he doesn't yell. At least, never at Yoongi. 

Yoongi is speechless.

“I don't think this is the best moment to talk, you both need to calm down.” When Jimin moderates the conversation, Seokjin covers his face with both hands leaning on the counter bar and Yoongi looks everywhere except Seokjin and his boyfriend. 

“You need to believe me, Yoongi. I wouldn't expose myself to someone if I hadn't felt comfortable with them. You know me,” Seokjin's voice is almost like a whisper. “I wouldn't let myself be vulnerable around someone when I know I will pay for it.”

“But you know you’re gonna pay for it anyway,” Yoongi says.

At this point, Seokjin won’t defend himself, he knows Yoongi is right about that.

“I don't want you to get attached to someone when you are unable to leave here.” Yoongi sounds hurt. “I know you're an adult and you can make your own choices, but I don't want you to suffer anymore.”

“Yoongi…” The elder grabs Yoongi's hand and squeezes it. “I'm not that lucky like you and Jimin. I know you didn't have it easy, but at least you have each other. I won't ever have that.”

“Hyung…” Jimin says from behind with a pitiful tone, Seokjin offers him a sad smile.

“It's okay, this is the life I choose. Even if I ever fall in love with someone, I won't ever be able to be with them. I choose to have this fancy and fucked up life over love.” 

“You’re in love with him?” Yoongi asks.

“I don't think so.” Seokjin now smiles at Yoongi. “He's nice, very gentle, and attentive. But I don't think I love him.” 

“If something happens, please tell me, hyung.”

At the sound of Yoongi's words, Seokjin smiles and nods in agreement. His heart is always moved when his younger friend calls him hyung .

“I will, Yoon. I promise.”

After a few seconds of silence, the doors of the place open and Namjoon greets them with his brighter smile. Seokjin feels warm and thinks that maybe he lied to Yoongi without even knowing.

—------------------------

“Your favorite song?”

“Well, it depends.”

It’s almost 2 in the morning, Seokjin and Namjoon had drunk at least two bottles of wine and they’re feeling a bit tipsy. They talked about what Seokjin did these last weeks and Namjoon barely mentioned where he was or what he did. Seokjin did know what happened but didn’t ask more. They weren’t friends, just a certain type of co-workers.

Namjoon had booked Seokjin for the night and sometimes the elder felt grateful for that. Since they started the meetings, Seokjin didn’t have to work all week, at one point, the Mondays and Wednesdays became just as if was his day off. He only had them one day a month. But with Namjoon he could rest more days than before, he was afraid of his boss finding out but also he didn’t care too much.

They’re laying together on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and the red and pink lights that cover the whole room. They’ve been talking about everything and nothing, making stupid jokes and laughing at loud. 

“In what depends on your favorite song to be, hum?” Namjoon speaks.

“On what artist are we talking about.”

At this, Seokjin stares at Namjoon who’s still looking at the ceiling.

“Your favorite female singer then.” The chestnut answers with slurry words.

“That’s easy,” Seokjin says. “There’s a song my mom used to sing when I was younger, maybe that’s the only sweet memory I keep of her.” He stares again at the ceiling and frowns when he feels a little dizzy. “She started singing to me when I was fifteen I think, she would come to my room to watch me sleep and she would sing. Maybe she thought I was sleeping but I wasn’t. She didn’t talk with me too much after my father died, but she would sing. She had a beautiful voice.”

Maybe it’s the sad tone Seokjin speaks with that makes Namjoon stare at him so attentively. He can feel the longing and the nostalgia in his voice, he may be close but he isn’t sure if the elder’s eyes are shining with tears or just with the shimmer of the light in his eyes. It doesn’t matter, Namjoon thinks he looks gorgeous, even in the dim light where he always sees him.

“I bet you have her beautiful voice,” Namjoon says without looking away from him.

“I don’t.” And a little pitiful smile forms in the corner of Seokjin’s mouth. “She sang even better.”

“What was the song?” The younger asks.

“It was a winter hymnal, I never knew who sang that song but one day I hear it from my favorite singer.” A crystal tear drops from his face and Namjoon’s theory is confirmed. “I didn’t care if she just covered it but, that was the only way I could feel my mom’s voice again. She reminds me of my mom’s voice, that’s why I like her. I think she used to sing it because I was born in the winter.”

“Can you sing it for me?” Namjoon requests with a little fear of being rejected in his voice.

And without thinking, he starts to sing.

“ I was following the - I was following the pack all swallowed in their coats,” 

The younger may have heard Seokjin sing many times but somehow, this time felt different. He wasn’t singing to the air, he was singing to Namjoon. To him only by his petition. He was so close and could feel every time the elder took a breath to keep singing, he could feel the vibrations of his throat even if he wasn’t that close to him. His voice was so velvety but so strong at the same time. He felt like a warm breeze on a summer day but also felt like lighting on a hurricane. So intense but so beautiful.

“ ...with scarves of red tied round their throats,”

Seokjin kept singing with his eyes closed, his lids trembling and tears falling down his cheeks. Namjoon couldn’t understand many things and this was one of them, he couldn’t understand how someone like Seokjin had to live a life like this. He deserves many things in life but this wasn’t one of them.

“ ... to keep their little heads from falling in the snow,”

Many thoughts spin around Namjoon’s mind and maybe it’s the alcohol in their systems and the emotional moment they’re having but the younger one only can think about how it feels to kiss Seokjin.

“ ...and you would fall and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime,”

And then, Seokjin turns to him, and their eyes are now locked.

“It’s getting late, Joon-ah.” Seokjin looks at him with something the younger can’t translate, it’s not sadness or deception, it has to be something else.

“I should get going.”

Neither of them moves and Namjoon is afraid Seokjin had read his eyes and now knows how much he wants to kiss him right now. 

“Yes, you should.”

Seokjin stands up from the bed and walks right to the bathroom, he closes the door and Namjoon knows he won’t come out until he’s gone, cause at this point they know each other too much and they can read themselves.

And Namjoon feels afraid cause he promised his friend he would be careful but he hasn’t. Namjoon is feeling a wave of guilt hitting him on the chest but maybe it isn’t guilt, maybe is realization and maybe he knows Seokjin too much.

And knowing him that well it’s dangerous.

—---------------------------------

Namjoon's office is quieter than usual. He's been trying to collect his thoughts but every one of them slips away in seconds. Something is bothering him but he isn't sure what is it. It's nothing related to work, his personal life is boring enough to have something happening, and his family it's okay. So he isn't sure what's disturbing him so much. 

Early in the day, he received a call from Hoseok informing him about the status of their investigation. He sounded a bit tense, almost uncomfortable with what he was saying. The men who reported Seokjin to the authorities were demanding an interrogation but Hoseok declined, he said he was making a new plan but that he wasn't sure for how long it would be endurable.

Namjoon only thanked him and said that he would be planning something and would keep Seokjin up to date. 

There's not much Namjoon can do but he had promised Seokjin he would help him and now, he won't back down. He's gonna help him to leave that place. 

Namjoon has lost track of time and by the moment he looks at his watch, he realizes that he is getting late for his usual appointment with Seokjin. He needs to run or Seokjin would be all cooky when he gets there.

It's been four days since what happened in the brothel. The weird realization Namjoon had while looking at him, was all tipsy and vulnerable. In some way, he also was tipsy and vulnerable but Seokjin wasn't the one thinking about kissing him. He's sure that maybe it was the alcohol and nothing more, but deep down he's genuinely terrified to know if there's something else happening to him.

He's afraid of going to see him today, he feels kinda anxious, but he's a grown man. He can face him.

Namjoon closes his laptop and organizes a few documents spread on the desk. He takes off his glasses and puts them back in his bag. He’ll be late for a few minutes but that's fine, sometimes when Namjoon arrives he's still with a client and he has to wait. Sometimes they would meet right before someone is getting out of his room and at those times Namjoon doesn't push Seokjin, he tells him he should rest, and they would talk until Seokjin falls asleep. And Namjoon always sits on a chair next to his bed.

That happens more frequently than he would like to admit. But that doesn’t change the fact that if he gets late, Seokjin would be mad.

He leaves his office and greets goodbye to some co-workers he finds on his way. He waits by the elevator when someone calls his name.

“Namjoon hyung!” And that voice belongs to Jungkook. “Namjoon hyung, wait!”

Namjoon turns to look in his direction and the boy is running toward him. When he finally reaches Namjoon he's out of breath and leans on the wall to catch his breath. 

“Hey, slow down, boy,” Namjoon says to Jungkook with concern in his voice. “What happened?” 

Jungkook still has trouble speaking but he tries his best. “Hoseok hyung told me to inform you about something.” Takes a breath. “He thinks he may have found out who this man they call ‘The Boss’ is.”

And Namjoon tries to process the information quickly. Seokjin had talked about him but never said anything else. As if he was some kind of god he can't speak of or if they would do something to anyone who dares to talk about him.

“Who is?” Namjoon answers.

“There’s a man called Lim Chaesun.” The younger one says. “Seems like they've been looking for him for years. Hyung said something about human traffic. This is something really dangerous, hyung.” 

Namjoon knew it from the beginning, he knew everything about Seokjin was dangerous.

“That's all? Did he say something more?”

Jungkook shakes his head and Namjoon nods in understanding. 

“Okay, I'll keep trying to get something from Seokjin and tell Hobi I'll keep him updated.”

Jungkook nods and says goodbye to Namjoon. Now there's something else clouding Namjoon’s thoughts. He needs to make Seokjin speak about that man if he wants to be helped.

And with that information, he goes to see him again, not sure about what he’s going to do.

————————-————-

The ticking resonating all over the room makes Seokjin feel his hands clammy. He’s feeling anxious and thinks he’s about to throw up. Yesterday, he was chatting with Namjoon as usual in his brothel room but just after he left, he received a call from his boss asking him to see him.

He always hated this office; the blue walls with flower designs, the black furniture matching the big desk, and of course the disgusting smell of smoke trapped in the room.

The air in the boss' office has always been thick and choking as if something bad could happen anytime at any moment. Seokjin never came alone to this place, Yoongi has always been right beside him but today, the boss asked to talk with Seokjin only, and that scared the shit out of him.

The clock is still ticking and the sound of the clock's hands it’s getting louder every second.

He’s feeling anxious.

Five minutes passed and Seokjin felt like it was a whole hour. Someone knocks on the door and makes him jump out of his thoughts; a young woman walks into the room with a cup of what seems to be tea. She places the ceramic cup on the coffee table right in front of him, she offers him a sweet smile and Seokjin bows his head.

She seems like a sweet girl. Seokjin wonders if she knows who she's working for. She has to know it, in the end, she’s his secretary.

Suddenly Seokjin feels worried about her. Yes, he has a shitty dangerous job, but she’s working directly with the man who runs the brothel where he works. She knows more things than Seokjin and that leaves her in great danger.

Lost in his thoughts, he misses the moment when that mysterious man who he’s afraid of enters the room and sits in front of his desk.

Seokjin feels out of breath.

The man in front of him doesn’t look intimidating at all, and that is one of the things that make Seokjin mad every time he sees him. He looks just like a normal person, a businessman with a family, who works at least eight hours a day and has a lovely wife waiting for him.

But he’s far from that.

Seokjin thinks that maybe, he doesn’t even deserve to be seen as that prototype of man every woman dreams of. He doesn’t deserve to be seen as a human.

“Well, my pretty boy,” The man speaks with his voice’s lower register. “It’s been ages.”

Seokjin gulps and tries to control his breathing. He doesn’t want to look vulnerable or weak in front of him. He has delighted himself many times before watching a young boy suffering and being scared every time he approached. He doesn’t deserve to see that again.

“You may ask what are you doing here without Yoongi, but don’t jump to conclusions.”

Seokjin clenches his fist over his thighs. “I don’t see why I could jump to conclusions by just being here, Sir.” 

The boss smirks after hearing the honorific.

“Maybe you thought I was going to tell you I’m setting you free.”

At the mention of that, Seokjin can’t help but feel disappointed. He knew that he wouldn’t let him go that easy, he wasn’t expecting to hear that news when he came here, but at some point, he hoped something strange to happen. He just sighs and gives the man in front of him a comprehensive look. He smiles faintly.

“How could you let me go? I think your brothel is nothing without me, right?” Seokjin felt brave enough to say that.

The man buffs and replies curtly. “My brothel could work without you, pretty boy,” he walks to the minibar behind his chair desk. “I’m just making time.”

Seokjin frowns. Making time?

“You must know I’ve been out for months,” His boss takes a sip from the drink in his hands, licks his lips, and hisses. “I’m looking for someone who can replace you. Cause you wanna leave so bad, I won’t retain you anymore. You are just another employee. That’s why I’m working with those men I introduced to you before.”

He can’t believe what he’s hearing, he can’t believe what his boss is saying to him. Seokjin tries his best to seem unbothered or at least, not seem nervous and distressed.

“How’s that going at the moment?” Seokjin says pretending to sound careless.

“I think I would be able to let you go before we expected. But you still have to give your services to those men.”

For some reason, that doesn’t make Seokjin feel better or happy. He feels worried, he feels even more scared than before because he isn’t sure what’s going to happen to him. Where he would go? What’s going to happen to Yoongi and Jimin? Are they gonna be fine? 

He feels a wave of emotions from one moment to other, he needs fresh air but he can’t escape this office yet.

“Have you found someone already? Am I that easy to replace?”

“Don’t act as if I’m the one who wanted you out of the business. I would keep you forever if I could.”

Seokjin feels disgusted, he knows that tone. He’s flirting with him. 

Like he always does.

The man walks to sit next to him and hands him a glass with a liquid that seems like whisky. Seokjin doesn’t like whisky.

He likes alcohol in general but for some reason, the whisky isn’t enjoyable for him. No after what happened the first time he drank it. Sometimes he would think it was just a dream but the memories are so vivid like he had experienced in flesh and bone. He told Yoongi about that memory once but Yoongi didn’t know what to say, at that time they didn’t doubt everything his boss said or did to them. Everything was the right thing to do.

The man had never liked to be called by his name and, in that memory, Seokjin remembers had called him Chaesun, informally. But that’s not possible, he would never dare to do that.

When Seokjin meets with his boss he always spaces out, he had figured that is his defense mechanism to not feel intimidated or vulnerable in front of him. He returns from his thoughts when he feels a hand trailing his chest from behind him, searching for the open holes between his shirt buttons. He knows what’s coming next.

“I think I should thank you somehow for your hard work all these years,” Chaesun whispers next to his ear.

Seokjin can’t move and his hands start shaking, it’s been years since the last time this happened. He doesn’t want to feel those hands touching him, he’s scared of what he can do with them.

Chaesun leaves wet and messy kisses behind Seokjin’s ears, he wants to run. But suddenly the only thing he can think about is Namjoon.

Namjoon looking at him through the mirror, sitting behind him.

Seokjin had been touched by countless men but the only man he wants to run away from is Lim Chaesun, and he wishes Namjoon was here to save him.

And as if was some act of mercy, the phone on the desk rings loudly, and Chaesun grunts in annoyance but walks to the desk to answer the call.

Seokjin feels weightless and thinks he might pass out right there on the sofa.

When Chaesun finishes the call, he sits behind his desk and glances at Seokjin. He huffs with a devilish smirk.

“You can go, pretty. I’ll call you next time.”

And without thinking twice, he stands on his feet, bows, and gets the fuck out of there. He feels how his lungs are finally being filled with clean air and the annoying ticking of the clock doesn’t drown his ears anymore. He feels somehow free.

And the only thing he wants to do is see Namjoon.

seokjin's song:

Chapter Text

“How did you find that man?”

Namjoon holds with both hands a cup of instant coffee from the vending machine. He’s sitting in front of Hoseok’s desk listening carefully at every word his friend is delivering.

He’s truly worried about this Lee Chaesun and the relationship he has with Seokjin. He is a dangerous person.

“I’ve sent two of the best detectives on my team to search for any information,” Hoseok says extending some papers for Namjoon to see. “They were quite fast but it’s information we can trust."

Namjoon leaves the coffee on the table and scans the papers with his eyes. There are too many bank accounts, properties, and casino houses. All by the same name. Lee Chaesun.

From what Hoseok told him, he doesn’t use that name, the people that work with him know him by his nickname: “ The boss ”. A little corny, Namjoon thinks. Another name they found was Kim Dal and there’s barely a register of him anywhere which makes Hoseok guess that’s the fake name used for filthy business.

Namjoon needs desperately to find who this man is ‘cause maybe that’s the only way he can help Seokjin to get out of there. He has tried to talk to Yoongi about this but the elder won’t let him. Yoongi’s very protective of Seokjin and Namjoon’s curious about that, Jin is older than him and should be the other way.

“I need Taehyung to try to follow him and take photos, I need to know where the hell he is.”

“That would be a problem, Joon.” Hoseoks leans back in his chair. “The man’s never in Korea, he doesn’t even live here. Chaesun has an office, that’s where he meets with your friend, ” The comment is a bit passive-aggressive, Namjoon can tell, but he decides to ignore the tone of his voice. “He only comes to Seoul when he has to meet Seokjin.”

“As far as I know, Seokjin’s never aware when he comes,” Namjoon says. “He only calls and Seokjin has to go wherever the man tells him to go. It’s always at midnight and he sends one of his men to pick up Seokjin.”

Hoseok hums and keeps quiet. Maybe he’s processing the new information and trying to figure out how he can use it to find where this Lee Chaesun is. Namjoon waits in silence but then, something breaks the pacified space they were in. Namjoon’s phone.

Pretty thing.

Seokjin took Namjoon’s phone one night and decided that naming his number on Namjoon’s phone was the best idea. The younger was endeared so he couldn’t change it to something different, but it’s kind of weird seeing his name displayed on the shining screen of his phone at this time of the day.

It’s barely ten in the morning.

Hoseok glances at him with curiosity and Namjoon just mouths “It’s him” and answers the call.

“Hello?”

“Namjoon-ah…”

He sounds sleepy or tired, maybe he’s just waking up or maybe there’s some reason behind his tired voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“I guess so, I’m just waking up and thought of you.”

Namjoon doesn’t understand why his stomach flips and feels heavy out of nowhere. That’s a usual comment from Seokjin, he likes to tease him and Namjoon doesn’t understand why affects him so suddenly. Maybe it’s the silky and soft voice coming from the speaker, perhaps it’s the image projecting on Namjoon’s mind. Seokjin with his pretty tired and brown eyes, his plump limps all rosy and velvety, his pretty figure surrounded by the white sheets.

He needs to stop thinking about Seokjin that way before Hoseok catches him violently blushing. 

“Well, that’s kind of you.”

Seokjin giggles softly and Namjoon knows he’s laughing with half of his face hiding under the sheets. 

“Today’s my free day.”

“What you’re planning to do?”

Namjoon can feel the piercing gaze from Hoseok, he knows he can’t keep talking with Seokjin in front of him if he doesn’t want to have a lecture from his friend later.

“Well, I always stay at home on my free…” A pause. “But maybe I want to change that today.”

“That’s cool, you need some fresh air.”

On the other side of the speaker, the only thing he can hear is a heavy gasp and the rustle of the sheets. 

“Yeah, whatever, see you later.”

The call ends and Namjoon is left confused about what just happened.

“So now you have conversations with that man in the plenty light of the day too, Namjoon?”

Hoseok’s not trying to sound accusative but his tone sure it does.

“He does that sometimes, not always, for your information.” Namjoon wants to ignore the weird feeling growing on his chest and doesn’t want to give another reason to Hoseok to bother him today.

“Namjoon…”

“I have to leave, I have things to do at the office. See you when there’s new information.”

He’s ready to get out of the office when Hoseok says something behind his back.

“I’ve told you to be careful, you’re gonna get hurt.”

Namjoon tenses and glances back at Hoseok. With a tired smile, he says:

“Thank you for your concern.”

He leaves the room.

*

If Seokjin tries to be sincere with himself, he would admit he was expecting a different answer from Namjoon. What he was thinking in the first place? They’re not friends, Namjoon has a real job he can’t quit out of a sudden just because he asked him to, there’s no reason for Namjoon to come to see him on his free day.

What was Seokjin thinking when he called?

He lies on his bed confronting the ceiling, the apartment is very quiet for his liking and he’s starting to feel uneasy. Seokjin usually wouldn’t mind spending his free day caged in his big ass house, alone doing the same things every day. Eating, working out, watching TV, sleeping, and repeating. 

There’s just something different now, he wants company- no, he craves it.

He craves Namjoon’s company.

Several minutes have passed since he hung up the call after realizing he was doing something stupid, he was spacing out when his phone started ringing, maybe Yoongi’s calling.

Seokjin grabs his phone from the sheets and without looking at the screen he answers the call.

“What’s up, Yoongi?”

“ You never check who’s calling, do you?”

He knows that voice, he talked with him just a few minutes ago, but those words don’t feel right in his pretty mouth. He isn’t looking at him right now, but Seokjin can’t allow himself to think of Namjoon pronouncing that with his velvety deep voice.

He has another voice in his head repeating those words and he doesn’t like it.

“Why are you calling, aren’t you busy doing writer things and shit?” 

The younger makes a sound similar to a laugh but is soft and muffled. “I’m done doing those things,” Somehow, and for some reason, Seokjin can assure Namjoon is smiling on the other side of the phone. “I was meeting with someone when you called, sorry about that.”

The elder feels kind of relieved, maybe Namjoon didn’t think he was being annoyingly clingy or some shit like that. “I just wanted you to know today’s my free day, in case you decided to go to the brothel. It seems like you started a new hobby of going there without warning.”

This time, Seokjin could hear the younger’s laugh, the prettiest laugh he has ever heard.

“Sorry, I think I just realized you’re actually, good company.”

Well, that was unexpected.

Almost everything they say these days to each other when they talk is very unexpected.

Seokjin laughs softly just to cover the weirdness growing between them. “Well, of course I am, that’s my kind of job, remember?”

“So… free day, huh?” Namjoon asks trying to keep the conversation going. “What are you planning to do?”

“I don’t have anything planned if I’m honest, I’ll just stay here as always.”

“But you said you wanted to go out.” The younger sounds confused, Seokjin turns to the side to look at the window and sighs.

“Yes,” Another sigh. “I wanted to, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You don’t like to be alone that much, right?”

“It’s nice to be alone, actually.” The elder says, trying to sound convincing. “But sometimes, I would like to have someone to go out to the park or the mall. Do normal things, with normal people.”

“Haven’t you tried to do those things by yourself?” 

There it is. That tone in his voice. The same tone he uses when Seokjin is telling him something serious or important, the same tone he uses when they’re discussing things or analyzing points of view about something. 

Cautious, soothing, understanding. 

Loving.

“I’m too scared to try.”

“I’ll try with you.”

Suddenly Seokjin feels warmth growing inside his chest and the room no longer feels cold and lonely. Those words felt like a ray of sun filtering through the blinds of his room.

“What do you mean?” Seokjin whispers.

“I’m going out with you,” There’s a brief silence until Namjoon speaks again, now sounding a bit insecure. “If that’s okay for you.”

“Where are you taking me?” 

“Where do you want me to take you?”

“Anywhere you want.”

*

The last thing Namjoon would expect to happen to him today was sitting on a bench with Seokjin in the park. 

It’s a lovely day, with a warm breeze, and the leaves from the trees fall quietly and without a rush. Seokjin is dressed nicely, with clothes the younger has never seen before. These are very less scandalous than the usual clothes he wears at the brothel. Namjoon thinks he looks pretty, cute even. He’s wearing a pair of blue jeans and a soft green sweater, a light brown coat that matches Namjoon’s outfit. They may look good together, or that’s what Namjoon wants to think.

They’re sitting watching people walking with their pets and children playing with their parents, there’s a group of friends having a picnic and laughing at loud. It feels safe, Seokjin thinks. This is the first time he’s enjoying his free time and it’s also the first time he spends time out of his apartment. He can’t remember when was the last time he acted like a normal person or experienced something close to this, watching people living well and enjoying their lives like normal people do. He thinks that maybe, he could get used to this.

“How you’re feeling?”

Namjoon’s voice brings him back to earth, and Seokjin thinks that maybe, he could get used to Namjoon’s voice.

“Happy.”

“That’s good to know, I’m glad you like here.”

Namjoon sounds truly pleased, like a kid who gets praise from his parents. Seokjin sometimes thinks that Namjoon is like that; a little boy, a big little boy.

“I thought it would feel weird being out with so many people, but it’s comfortable.” Seokjin shuts his eyes and allows himself to feel the breeze.

“This is my favorite park,” Namjoon says. “This is where I come when I feel too overwhelmed because of work or when I just need time by myself.”

Somehow, those words felt like a secret and Seokjin is happy to be the only one knowing.

“I used to like to go to the park with my parents,” Seokjin admits. “They used to play with me, but if I’m really honest, I don’t remember a lot.”

Namjoon is looking at him when Seokjin opens his eyes, the elder thinks that he might be wrong, but he has never seen eyes so beautifully strong like the one Namjoon has. He likes being seen the way Namjoon sees him, with delicacy, tenderness, and something else he’s not able to decipher yet. But he loves the way Namjoon looks at him.

“It would be cool if we come here often, don’t you think?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah,” Seokjin sighs. “That would be cool.”

The silence between them is never uncomfortable, instead, it feels safe. Somehow, everything with Namjoon feels safe, and that’s what scares Seokjin the most. Feeling safe with someone is something he’s not familiar with, this is something completely new to him and Yoongi probably would give him a lecture about how he’s being unconscious about the situation. 

“How’s the book going?” Seokjin asks out of a sudden, the topic change takes Namjoon by surprise.

“It’s fine, we’re almost finishing it.” The younger sounds proud and Seokjin feels relieved.

“That means that I was useful enough.” Seokjin tries a joke and Namjoon huffs a laugh, a smirk drawing on his face.

“Of course you were, this book is more yours than mine. It’s your story, Seokjin-ssi.”

At that, Seokjin grunts and rolls his eyes making Namjoon laugh, that pretty laugh.

“What? Did I say something wrong?” Namjoon says between giggles.

“You always call me Seokjin-ssi , it’s annoying.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it.” And he laughs again. Why is he laughing? And so damn beautifully.

Silence forms again and they let themselves enjoy the moment; just the background noise from the people talking, the bells from bicycles ringing, children giggling and dogs barking. Seokjin let himself enjoy the clean sound of the leaves waving in the air, the clean smell of the day, and the scent of Namjoon next to him.

He could get used to feeling Namjoon next to him.

The ring from Seokjin’s cell phone breaks all the tranquility they were having, as usual, Seokjin answers without checking before.

“Yes?”

“ What the fuck are you doing with a man in the park? What are you? Fifteen? Do you think you can have a boyfriend while you’re working for me? Are you stupid, Seokjin?”

Seokjin freezes and feels his body go numb. He feels cold and all the warmth has disappeared, all the safety gone and the only thing he feels is dread. He’s going to get killed for this.

“Listen, I know you are smart enough to know that if you keep that shit of a relationship you are gonna pay for it.” Silence. “I’ll make you pay for it.”

Seokjin is speechless, he is aware a part of him has stopped functioning and he doesn’t know how to make his tongue work to answer a simple yes. He’s fucking scared.

“You’ll come back to that brothel and you’re going to keep fucking every man this city has. Do you understand?” He can’t speak. “I said,” He’s scared. “Do you fucking understand?”

And out of nowhere, he can answer.

“Yes, I’ll do that.”

The call ends.

“Is everything fine?” Namjoon asks getting Seokjin out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, just…” Seokjin stares at Namjoon for a second. “Just Yoongi. He asked me to do something tomorrow with a client.”

“Oh, I thought something happened.” Namjoon sounds concerned.

Seokjin laughs awkwardly trying to ease Namjoon. “Everything’s fine, you know how Yoongi makes a big deal of everything.”

Namjoon hums and offers him a small smile.

Maybe Seokjin was wrong if he thought that this could be love.

And now he’s gonna pay for it.

*

It’s been days since they saw each other, Seokjin asked Namjoon to not come to the brothel for the next few days with the excuse that he was going to be with an important client for some weeks. He did go with a client, but it was just for three days.

He’s trying to keep Namjoon out of the map for his safety, he’s aware of what his boss can do and he won’t let the man touch a centimeter of him.

It’s been weeks, they haven’t talked at all and Seokjin has started to feel the absence.

“Hyung,” Yoongi calls Seokjin who’s spacing out in the counter bar. Seokjin snaps out and glances at his younger friend with a lost look.

“Hyung, it’s been days.”

Seokjin sighs. “I know, but I can’t risk him to come here after what happened.”

“Is the book finished?” Yoongi genuinely asks, trying to change the topic.

“He said they’re finishing it. Just some details, he said he wanted to add something else but he would come when I’m done with the client.”

Yoongi pays attention to every word his friend says, and somehow he always knows what’s happening before Seokjin knows himself.

“This is fucked up.”

“Yeah, I realized Yoongi, thank you.”

“I’m serious,” Yoongi leaves the binder he was holding on top of the counter and sighs. “How he saw you there? You weren’t even close to your apartment.”

“He wasn’t there, he has eyes everywhere for me.” The elder stops himself to think for a second. “I think he notice when I left the apartment, he’s always monitoring me. If I go outside on my free days he has to know where.”

“I fucking hate that piece of shit.” 

They hear the sound of the back door and Jimin enters the room holding a heavy box. Yoongi is quick in helping him and greets him with a peck. Seokjin smiles to himself.

“Love, you know where we put the sheets for the VIP rooms?” Jimin asks while he organizes everything in the box Yoongi helped him carry. “Riah needs to change the bedclothes for room thirteen but we can’t find it anywhere.”

“I think we got rid of it, they were pretty stained and couldn’t save the sheets, we used them once but someone messed up. I have to buy new ones.” Yoongi answers by helping Jimin.

Seokjin laughs at the trivial situation happening between the couple. Yoongi and Jimin stare at him with confused looks.

“He’s gone insane already?” Jimin says.

“Maybe,” His boyfriend answers. “wouldn’t be surprised.”

“You two act like a married couple,” Seokjin says fondly. “But it’s kinda weird hearing you two talk about stained sheets and shit.”

“You’ve stained sheets too, hyung,” Jimin says.

“Wow! And whose fault it’s that? I don’t think it’s mine.” Seokjin defends himself at the accusation. Jimin laughs and gets back to bring more boxes with supplements for the bar.

“I hope you leave this shit of a place and find yourself a beautiful house to live with Jimin.” The elder gets up from the stool and walks right to the stairs to go to his room.

“We’re leaving,” Yoongi says from behind and Seokjin turns immediately.

“We don’t know yet when, but we’ve decided to leave,” Yoongi says more seriously than before. “And you’re going with us.”

*

A month passed and Seokjin felt it was time enough for Namjoon to come to visit him again. These are the last visits they will have so it’s better if they hurry to end, so Namjoon won’t be in any more danger.

Or that’s what the elder hopes.

Seokjin’s sitting on his chair by the dresser table, checking himself in the mirror putting jewels on his long neck. Those are new, Namjoon says to himself. A new gift from one of his new clients, Seonhi has told Namjoon about it. He thinks the view is fascinating though. Watching Seokjin is always fascinating. The elder’s hair is falling on his forehead curly and fluffy just out of the shower, all messy by the hairdryer. He recently dyed his hair to a shade very similar to Namjoon’s, but he has pretty thin lights of blond which makes him look even more expensive and gorgeous.

Since Namjoon has gotten used to seeing Seokjin so often, he doesn’t find it weird to watch him get ready for bed anymore. Sometimes he would watch him getting all doll-up to meet his next client and he won’t say a thing, knowing he should get going not to get Seokjin in trouble. But today is one of those days where Namjoon would sit beside the bed; legs crossed observing the man sitting on the other side of the room, looking as pretty as ever. Namjoon wonders if someday he will be able to get through the feelings he’s catching for him.

Seokjin catches Namjoon staring right from the mirror, Namjoon hasn’t noticed he’d been caught but Seokjin can’t take his eyes off him. What a pretty view it is to watch someone’s thoughtfulness through a mirror glass. Probably that’s something Namjoon could think about Seokjin, just as Seokjin does.

At least that’s what Seokjin wishes.

“Are you perhaps, lost in my beautiful semblance?”

Namjoon snaps out and Seokjin can clearly see how he blushes under the dim light of the room. He is indeed very endearing.

“I was just thinking.” Namjoon looks away and fixes his view on the notebook he’s holding over his crossed legs. 

“Oh, sorry. I was being a little narcissist, honey?”

Namjoon definitely is an interesting man and also a weak one. Sometimes he can see how Seokjin’s cheeks turn to a soft pink when he catches Namjoon staring at him like he was caught off guard or like he has never been seen like that before. How can someone so beautiful haven’t been seen as if he holds the stars kidnapped in his eyes?

“You are far from a narcissist, Seokjin-ssi,” Namjoon’s voice sounds softer than he intended which makes Seokjin stare at him with something like confusion between his eyebrows.

“When will you stop calling me ‘Seokjin-ssi’, Joon-ah? Are not we friends after all this time?”

It’s always the same question and Namjoon finds it endearing. It’s the way Seokjin talks that makes Namjoon crumble; the way he slurs his words so softly but so clearly, it’s the way he looks at Namjoon as if he knows which words and which tone of his voice is going to make him risk it all. It’s the simple way Seokjin tries without effort to make Namjoon fall for him.

It’s just that.

It’s just how Seokjin is.

Namjoon stands from his seat and walks right to Seokjin. The pretty brown-headed guy is still sitting by the dresser table staring curiously from the mirror at the tall guy walking towards him. Namjoon stands behind and locks his gaze with Seokjin in the mirror. There are so many unspoken words flying in the thick air of the room but the elder thinks that no one has ever read his eyes as Namjoon does. He’s feeling out of breath.

“Would you like me to stop calling you like that?” 

It’s strange the way Namjoon suddenly has de bravery to speak so recklessly, it’s like something has taken control of him. And just like that, he is caressing the back of Seokjin’s nape with his fingers, so smooth and careful. He can see how Seokjin shivers under his touch like he was wanting this for so long.

Namjoon could tell he wanted this too. 

“How would you like me to call you?”

Seokjin has his lips slightly parted, eyes shut and skin flushed. He’s enjoying this; enjoying Namjoon’s attention and care. He can feel the heat rising in his belly the moment Namjoon leans slowly pressing his nose to Seokjin’s half-wet hair. The scent is overwhelming and calm, so sweet and strong at the same time, like Seokjin.

The silk robe is hanging from Seokjin’s shoulder, his skin is shining. He’s not wearing anything else under the robe and Namjoon is aware of that. His hands are trembling hungry for Seokjin’s skin and so damn needy to know what it tastes like to kiss his soft, plump pink lips.

“Namjoon-ah…” Seokjin says breathlessly, almost like he’s losing his conscience.

“Yeah?”

“How would you like me to call you?”

If this is an invitation to taste how it feels to kiss Seokjin’s nape, Namjoon is willing to accept. He leans closer just to press his nose to the juncture of Seokjin’s neck and shoulder, his lips scared of touching him but so desperate to do it. They can’t understand what is happening right now between them or how they got to be in this situation.

“Call me whatever you like, please… ” Namjoon’s voice sounds like a plead more than he would like.

“That’s kind of dangerous, don’t you think?”

“Aren’t you used to danger, Seokjin-ssi? Take it as if you’re asking me to dance then.”

At the question, Seokjin turns his head to try and see Namjoon. His eyes are closed while smelling carefully Seokjin’s scent. 

It could be?

He can feel Namjoon’s hands traveling from his shoulders to his pretty tiny waist over the robe, he feels safe every time he’s aware of Namjoon’s strong but soft touch. Sometimes, he has to admit, he pretends to be asleep just to feel how Namjoon caresses his head and arms; to listen to the out-of-tone singing from the tall guy trying to keep Seokjin sleeping.

We could be?

Almost without notice, Seokjin’s hand goes right to Namjoon’s cheek and caresses him. The younger freezes for a moment and then, like asking for permission, searches for the elder’s gaze through the mirror glass. They catch each other eyes and Namjoon can perfectly tell there’s something like longing in Seokjin’s stare. He keeps waiting for a sign, anything that would allow him to do anything.

“Dancing is a dangerous thing, Joonie.”

They stop staring in the mirror and intertwined their eyes right in front of each other. Their breaths mixed from their mouths so close they can almost taste each other. Seokjin can see the moles from Namjoon’s cheeks. He has noticed it before two pretty dots, like opening a new sentence right under his dragon eyes. 

Namjoon can feel the scent of strawberries from the lotion Seokjin uses to shower. A moment ago it wasn’t that choking but now it’s drowning him. He has always been impressed by how those doe eyes which always are alert can look so lost and defenseless sometimes, so vulnerable. Pretty eyes full of stars.

“I don’t think this is a clever idea…” The elder whispers closing his eyes.

“I think I’m tired of being clever with you, Seokjin-ssi.”

“ Stop it. ” Seokjin slurs his words as if he didn’t want to say them.

“You want me to stop?”

“Stop calling me that,” Seokjin is out of breath almost needing oxygen. He leans closer to the younger, their lips barely brushing. 

“What do you want me to call you ?” Namjoon whispers in his mouth.

Yours.

“Call me anything.” Seokjin finally says.

“No,” The younger sounds a little offended by his words. “I won’t call you anything .”

“Call me whatever you want, Joon-ah.”

“Ask me.”

The strange question makes Seokjin open his eyes and stare at the man whose nose is pressed softly to his. So pretty. So fucking gorgeous.

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me anything. Tell me…” Namjoon sounds desperate and Seokjin understands, he is too. He’s starving for anything from Namjoon. He’s greedy of him. So fucking desperate for Namjoon’s touch and scent. So desperate for Namjoon’s love. “Tell me… tell me you want me. ” 

“ Joon-ah…”

“Yes, baby ?”

Seokjin without a warning turns and cups Namjoon’s face in both his hands. He looks right at him so fondly and without thinking twice he kisses Namjoon so passionately and lovingly.

Almost like worshiping him through kisses.

Namjoon is taken by surprise but he doesn’t stop the elder, instead, he finds a way to grab Seokjin by his waist and make him stand from the chair. He’s feeling dizzy, drunk on whatever Seokjin is giving him. Seokjin body proportions are so fine and delicate that Namjoon thinks his body feels so small on his hands. So fragile.

Seokjin intertwines his arms around Namjoon’s neck while deepening the kiss. Namjoon catches Seokjin in his arms by his waist while carefully making his steps to the bed. The younger one isn’t pretty sure what is about to happen next nor what he is doing right now but he’s sure he cannot stop it. He doesn’t want to stop it.

Namjoon is very clumsy and they fall right into the bed. Namjoon’s on top of Seokjin and the elder breaks the kiss gasping for air, looking right into Namjoon’s eyes. Such pretty eyes, Seokjin thinks.

“What are we doing?” Seokjin whispers shyly afraid of what the answer is gonna be.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Stop asking what I want,” The elder sounds annoyed but he isn’t really, he’s just afraid “What do you want?”

Namjoon stares at Seokjin, there’s something in his eyes Seokjin can’t decipher, and that kills him sometimes. Namjoon lows his gaze to Seokjin's plump lips and quickly gets back to his eyes.

“I want you to ask me what you want me to do,” Namjoon is feeling extremely brave tonight. He leans and gives Seokjin a soft peck. “Aren’t you tired of doing what other wants? Just giving and giving but never receiving anything from anyone? Don’t you want to know how it feels to be taken care of?”

He does. 

He definitely does.

Seokjin closes his eyes for a moment and sighs tiredly. He’s about to do something he never thought he would do.

“I don’t want you to fuck me on a bed where I sleep with every man in the city. You’re not one of them. I don’t want you to be.”

“I won’t be.” Namjoon sounds so confident, so dangerously confident.

“Take me out of here, please .”

Seokjin's voice sounds like a plea and Namjoon has the impulse to take him wherever he wants, to take care of him and never let him come back to this place. He wants him to be happy cause that’s what he deserves. God, Seokjin deserves everything this world can give and more than that.

“Take me anywhere, Joonie,” Seokjin's eyes are glossy with tears. “Take me anywhere you want, don’t wanna be here.”

“I’ll take you home.”

Namjoon drove them to his apartment. This was the craziest shit he has ever done in his life but he’s not regretting it at all. No one knows Seokjin left with him, he didn’t tell Yoongi but maybe he will know from Jimin who saw them leave from the back door of the brothel. 

When they arrived at Namjoon’s apartment, the elder hadn't expected the place he was seeing. It was just like a penthouse but it wasn’t; a big place with large windows showing the city and buildings, the monochromatic style, and the big number of plants standing beautifully on every corner of the house. Paintings hanging on the walls, a certificate of recognition for an investigation article, and a small picture of Namjoon next to a man who looks tiny next to him but looks the same age, and two boys who look younger but almost the same height as Namjoon.

Somehow, Seokjin feels safe and relieved.

The place is spacious and pretty with all the cream colors and wooden furniture. Seokjin thinks this is exactly how he would imagine Namjoon’s place but maybe a little less luxurious.

“Feel yourself at home.” 

The younger one returns from the kitchen with two glasses of water and gives one to Seokjin who thanks him shyly.

“Your house is pretty, didn’t expect it to be this classy and shit.” 

“I’ll take it as a compliment, thank you very much.” 

Namjoon has a pretty smile, Seokjin thinks. Sometimes he forgets how handsome and cute Namjoon is, he’s an adult man but at the same time, he’s so innocent yet. So fucking pure for Seokjin’s well-being and that makes the elder’s heart break a little.

“I bet your house is pretty as well, am I wrong?” Namjoon drinks from his glass while staring at Seokjin who’s still standing watching curiously at the paintings on the wall.

“You could say so,” The elder turns a second just to share a glance with Namjoon and then looks back at the wall. “It’s a penthouse but I barely enjoy being there.”

“We haven’t talked about that yet,” The tone in Namjoon’s voice changes to a serious one, Seokjin can feel his gaze piercing his nape, and he turns to him.

“Talk about what?” 

“What do you do when you’re not working at the brothel?”

Seokjin walks calmly and goes straight to where Namjoon is. He stands right in front of him leaving the glass of water on the coffee table, Seokjin slowly gets rid of his brown and soft cardigan, and Namjoon looks fascinated by the view.

The elder leaves the cardigan on top of the couch and sits on the table in front of Namjoon, their knees brushing swiftly. Seokjin takes from Namjoon’s hands the glass of water and puts it away, and after that, he reaches for the younger’s face just to caress his cheek softly.

“I don’t do anything interesting.” 

Namjoon feels bewitched at the tender touch of Seokjin on his cheek who stares directly at his eyes like he was trying to unveil something he has read in those crystal brown eyes. Sometimes, Namjoon likes to think the elder has already discovered all the secrets Namjoon holds just by looking at him the way he does. 

“Then what do you do? You said before you only stay at your house.” 

Seokjin gives him a little sad smile.

“I used to leave the city once a month.”

“Used to? Where did you go back then?”

“Home.”

At that simple word, Namjoon can read the longing in his eyes. Seokjin looks away and tries to hide somewhere where Namjoon can’t see how affected he’s feeling by the conversation. Seokjin never talks about him with anyone (as if he has someone to talk to) and hasn't talked about it with Namjoon either, even if they’ve been talking for months about him that’s not something he would just say out loud. He doesn’t like to talk about his life.

Namjoon searches for his eyes carefully making Seokjin look at him again, he draws circles around the apples of the elder’s cheek who’s flushed by the soft and warm touch. He leans and presses his forehead to Seokjin’s, he waits for him to look back at him but he only stares at his shoes.

“You don’t have to talk about something you don’t want, baby.” 

And that's it.

That word in Namjoon’s mouth.

Seokjin looks at Namjoon and in a matter of seconds, he’s leaning over to kiss him, the younger doesn’t take a step back, instead, he places his hands on both sides of Seokjin who’s now moving forward to be on top of Namjoon.

Seokjin places his legs right on Namjoon’s side, sitting comfortably on his lap while his hands travel desperately on the man’s hair; Namjoon's hands never leave the elder’s waist.

“Say it again, please. ”

Seokjin's voice sounds weak and needy, and somehow that makes Namjoon wants him more.

“ Baby… ”

Seokjin kisses him deeply as if someone would take Namjoon away and at this right moment, that’s what Seokjin most fears. He grinds his hips against Namjoon slowly but hungrily, he can feel the younger grip tightening every time he lets a soft sound out of his mouth. Usually, when he’s having sex he’s not so careful with anything, he doesn’t even enjoy sex and doesn’t remember when was the last time he had something like that, and probably that’s the reason why he’s holding onto Namjoon so dearly and scared.

“Take me to your bed, Joonie,” the elder says breathlessly between kisses. It’s not a question, it’s a demand.

Namjoon holds Seokjin tight and stands up from the sofa, at this, Seokjin grips his legs ‘round Namjoon’s waist but never stops kissing him excitedly.

They’re moving but Seokjin can only feel like flying. The tender touch of Namjoon makes him feel like he’s been lifted by the air and he wishes this moment doesn’t end any time soon. Namjoon kisses him with care while Seokjin always searches for his lips impatiently trying to catch them between his teeth, he likes roughness but maybe because that’s what he’s used to and there’s not much he can do about it.

For a moment, they stop and the elder hears a door being open and then they start moving again. 

When they’re finally in what must be Namjoon’s bedroom, Seokjin’s back hits the mattress and he can’t believe what is about to happen right now. Feeling Namjoon’s hands tracing lines all over his body it’s something surreal, almost oneiric. He doesn’t remember being treated this way ever, being treated like someone, not something . Seokjin feels overwhelmed and at the same time, pleased. 

The murmurs dancing around his ears, the soft breath coming from Namjoon’s mouth singing sweet words and making him feel pretty. He feels bewitched and silly all at once. He’s never been in love, how someone like him could ever fall in love? He always dreamt about it; being in love and being loved. He has read about it, heard about it even, but never experienced it.

Is this how it feels to fall in love?

Is he in love with Namjoon?

“Would you rip my clothes off or do you want me to do it?” Seokjin asks between hurried kisses.

“Why would I rip your clothes?” Namjoon laughs breathlessly. “I like your clothes, you look pretty.”

“I look prettier without it.”

Sometimes, it wrecks Namjoon to realize how easy it is for him to fall for Seokjin. There’s not a single thing he wouldn’t do for the elder, he would do anything he asks just to see him satisfied. In every fucking sense.

Namjoon never thought he would be undressing the man he met that day at the elevator on his bed, that’s how the world works.

That day, he thought that he was the most beautiful human his eyes had ever seen, somehow he felt like the place become warmer just by looking him in the eyes. That night in the brothel, when they met again, he felt a punch in the guts knowing that the same man was someone with such a fucked up life and that he would never be able to be with him. But perhaps, today, on this bed, that could change.

Or, in the worst-case scenario, he too, is being swindled by him.

“What do you want me to do?” Namjoon asks looking at Seokjin in the eyes.

Seokjin smirks and leaves a peck on the younger’s lips. He’s like a dream.

“Make me yours.”

A pause.

“Make me yours, make me don’t want to leave.”

“Why would you leave?” Namjoon whispers.

“‘Cause I know I’ll pay for it.”

Namjoon is about to say something else when Seokjin traps his lips into a kiss once again, this time rushed and hungrier than before, as if he’s scared Namjoon would disappear if he doesn’t kiss him now.

The younger doesn’t protest and responds to Seokjin's rushed actions, in a matter of seconds they’re tangled up naked between sheets and somehow, it feels like a dream. They separate just for a second when Namjoon looks for the lube and protection on the night table beside the bed.

“I’ll do it slowly,” Namjoon says and Seokjin just stares at him, cheeks flushed, lips swollen, and messy hair. “I’ll do it slowly and you have to tell me if you want me to stop.”

Seokjin nods and receives a peck. The elder shuts his eyes and holds his grip on Namjoon’s neck, he can feel the younger’s hands holding him tightly by his thighs and that’s when he feels Namjoon inside him. He basically has sex every day, but this time is completely different, he can’t and he won’t compare ‘cause what he’s feeling right now it’s fine and Seokjin thinks that’s what he has to feel and he feels relieved that he’s feeling it with Namjoon.

A moan scapes from the elder’s mouth and Namjoon looks for his mouth desperately, their kisses are wet and messy, more spit than anything else, they’re drowning themselves with their moans and Seokjin can feel bliss messing with his head. This feels so fucking perfect, Namjoon feels so fucking perfect inside him.

As Namjoon said, he thrust inside Seokjin slowly, without a rush, and takes all the time in the world to make Seokjin feel good. Namjoon’s moans are hoarse and chants words that Seokjin can’t describe. He feels so good.

“Are you okay, baby?” Namjoon gasps into Seokjin’s mouth.

“Keep going, I like it so much, Joonie.”

The pace is a little faster than before, Seokjin grips Namjoon’s shoulders and starts pushing his hips to feel Namjoon deeper. 

The reason why this feels whole new to him, it’s because this is the first time he can do what he wants to do. Namjoon won’t hit him or yell at him for moving like this or ask for something he wants, Namjoon won’t treat him like disposable stuff. Namjoon is caring, and loving, although his hands are rough, his touch is soft and tender. The sound of his voice is sweet and there’s nothing in the world that could make Seokjin want anything else.

Seokjin has come to the realization that, for the first time in ten years, it could be love.

And that’s what scares him.

But Seokjin has done the scariest things before, he’s willing to do this.

Because having Namjoon like this could be love.

And hanging from each other’s lips is a game more dangerous than dancing.

Chapter Text

This is the first time in a while that Seokjin wakes up with the sunlight gently caressing his face and someone is holding him from behind, nuzzling the back of his neck.

Seokjin thinks that he could get used to this and the warm feeling that wraps his body. The day seems as warm as his body feels right now and he wishes to live here forever.

Forever.

What a funny word, the elder thinks. What forever is supposed to mean?

Seokjin can hear the white sounds that come from every corner of the room. The hectic city is already awake and alive and that’s when Seokjin realizes that he can’t aspire to have this. Not with Namjoon, not with anyone.

He tries to untie himself from the younger arms without waking him up but fails when Namjoon tightens his hold on Seokjin’s waist. They’re still naked and the touch sends shivers through Seokjin’s body. He doesn’t want to leave, but he can’t stay anymore. Namjoon grunts and holds him closer, as if trying to prevent him from disappearing.

Maybe Namjoon can read Seokjin’s mind and that’s why he’s holding him as if his life depends on that.

Seokjin surrenders and turns to see his face. The younger’s still with his eyes closed but Seokjin can see how puffy they look from sleep. He is pretty, very so.

The elder caresses Namjoon’s cheeks gently, watching him so devoutly and his crooked fingers trace soft lines from the bridge of his nose to his plump lips. Namjoon grins at the touch and that draws a complicit smile on the elder’s lips. Seokjin kisses him softly.

Namjoon holds him tighter, already awake but not opening his eyes. He is enjoying the kiss and Seokjin smiles in between. Namjoon’s arms cage him from his back and Seokjin holds him from the back of his head, tugging at his hair gently. Seokjin can feel something rising from his belly and suddenly he feels so giddy, so needy from Namjoon's touch and he will have it.

“Don’t you have to work?” Seokjin asks in between kisses while taking enough air to keep going.

“Do I?” Namjoon answers with a playful tone and Seokjin only laughs. He doesn’t want to leave.

“I think you have, darling,” Seokjin pecks him quickly on his lips and then on his nose.

“Can you stay?” 

Namjoon is looking at his eyes now, tenderly and Seokjin can’t say no to those eyes. But he has to, and his heart clenches at the thought of leaving him to go fuck with other people.

He doesn’t want that.

And now, he’s not sure how he can avoid that.

“Namjoon-ah…”

“I know, I’m sorry I asked that.” Namjoon grins and gives him a peck, he doesn’t sound hurt or mad, he just sounds disappointed which Seokjin thinks is kind of worse.

“Don’t be sorry, I want to stay too,” Seokjin replies and puts back a strand of hair from Namjoon’s face. He places a kiss on his forehead. “But if I don’t come back, Yoongi will kill me.”

Namjoon laughs and hugs Seokjin. The younger leaves gentle kisses on his shoulder and Seokjin needs to make love with Namjoon again, he thinks he might need it very often from now on. It’s the way he holds him, the way he kisses him. It’s just the way Namjoon loves him that makes him never want to leave his arms. The same arms that hold him now and keep him safe.

“Can we do it again?” Seokjin asks in a whisper close to Namjoon’s ear. “Just one more time and I’ll leave.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Namjoon says from his hiding spot in the crock of Seokjin’s shoulders.

“Just for today, I’ll leave just for today and then I’ll come back,” Seokjin says, trying to ease the moment. 

“Promise me.” 

And that has Seokjin holding his breath. He can’t compromise himself that way, he isn’t in the place to promise something to someone, and he doesn’t want to lie to Namjoon. But sometimes, some lies need to be told. 

“I promise,” Seokjin says in a whisper, almost audible. “I promise I’ll come back.”

Namjoon tights his hug and Seokjin might break because he doesn’t want to leave his hold, he’s afraid Namjoon won’t be able to protect him anymore if he leaves.

“I’m doomed,” Namjoon says.

“Why?” Seokjin laughs at his words.

“‘Cause I want to have you like this forever.”

“Well,” Seokjin says, cupping his face and leaving sweet kisses on his eyelids, his nose, and the corner of his lips. He smirks after pecking him. “You can have me now.”

∗

“Have you finished the project with your friend, Namjoon-ah?” 

Hoseok is drinking his Iced Americano, next to him, Jungkook is searching in his binder for some papers they need to give Namjoon. The question his friend asked was an innocent one, but he knows him enough to know that deep down he was being kind of sarcastic. Namjoon just nods and sips from his raspberry-iced tea.

“That means you will stop seeing him, right?” 

At that question, Jungkook glances at Namjoon for a brief second and then keeps recollecting the papers. Namjoon shouldn’t lie to them but he’s not sure yet how to tell them and he doesn’t think he would be able to do it.

Jungkook finishes gathering all they need to hand Namjoon secures it with a clip and gives it to him inside a manila folder. Namjoon thanks him and pats Jungkook's shoulder.

“I can’t say I won’t see him anymore, but maybe not so often?” Namjoon tries. “I’m still trying to find a way to help him.”

Hoseok stares at him directly in the eyes and Namjoon knows very well he’s going to be lectured. Hoseok crosses his arms above his chest and lets out a sigh so deep that Jungkook worries for a minute.

“That’s why you want that?” Hoseok moves his head in the direction of the folder. “You know there’s not much we can keep doing. We are looking for Chaesun and all the people who work with him. And I want you to listen carefully; we’re looking for the ones who work with him, not for him. Your friend is completely safe.” 

Namjoon stares at him without saying a word. He’s not sure if what his friend says is true. Jungkook glances between them and his discomfort is visible. 

“Hyung,” The younger one says. “What will you do?”

Namjoon doesn’t know exactly what he is going to do, he just knows that he has to find a way to get Seokjin out of there, and the best option is to get him out of the country. But he hasn’t told anyone yet.

“Namjoon-ah, we’ve talked about this,” Hoseok says, almost tired. “I’ve told you to stay away from him, you’re gonna get hurt.” 

“I’m not here asking you for advice, Hoseok,” Namjoon says firmly without sounding pissed, because he’s not. “I can’t tell you everything yet but I hope I can’t tell you soon. You need to trust me.”

Hoseok shuts his eyes defeated and runs a hand to his face. He places his elbows on the table and supports his head on his hand.

“What else do you need?” 

Namjoon grins. He knows he can trust his friend.

“I need you to book two airplane tickets to Sweden.” 

Jungkook almost chokes on his hot chocolate and Hoseok seems blank. He might be confused because, why the fuck Namjoon would want two tickets to go to the other side of the world?

“And also, I will need a fake passport.” Namjoon says.

Hoseok huffs and leans back to the chair, he crosses his arms again. 

“Are you fucking listening yourself?” Hoseok can’t believe him. “Are you asking me to do something illegal for that person we barely know? And don’t say this isn’t for him because if not, then for who?” 

“Hyung, why do you need a fake passport?” Jungkook asks, pretty confused.

“Chaesun has all the information about Seokjin, he owns him and if he leaves Seoul he will notice.”

Hoseok keeps quiet, trying to make any sense of what Namjoon is saying. 

“If I want to keep him safe, I have to do it out of here.”

“And why would you want to keep him safe?”

Namjoon is silent and he knows that he can’t hide it anymore, not when he’s asking so much from his friends. He knows what he’s asking is dangerous and even if Hoseok can do it, it’s not that he likes doing it. He’s asking for too much and the least he can do is to be honest with his best friend.

“I think I like him.”

Hoseok seems dumbfounded and Jungkook can’t open his eyes anymore because they might explode. 

“You what?” Hoseok asks.

“And he likes me too.”

“Once again,” Hoseok sits straight. “Are you fucking listening to yourself? Namjoon! What the fuck?!”

Namjoon knew this would happen, he wasn't expecting a different reaction. That's why he keeps quiet and lets Hoseok process it. 

“How the fuck do you know you like him?” Hoseok never yells and this time he raises his voice a little, just because they are at a cafeteria and he won’t make a scene. “Did he tell you pretty words that enchanted you at first? Oh, come on Namjoon! You can’t fall for that!”

“Hyung, calm down,” Jungkook says to Hoseok, visibly worried about the situation.

“How can you believe that shit? He lives for that! That’s his fucking job!” Hoseok grips his hair in frustration. “Namjoon, oh my God. Do you realize exactly what is happening? I’m not mad because you fell in love with someone, okay? I am mad because what the fuck?! You know how fucked up he is and how deep in shit he is! Man, Seokjin is that man’s property. If you take him away you will pay for it. Do you understand how serious this is? Seokjin is his toy, and what do the little kids do when you take their toys away from them? They cry, throw tantrums, and fight to have them back. And he will do that with you.”

“Hoseokie,” Namjoon says. “This is the only thing I can do for him.”

“Namjoon-ah…”

“Listen, I know this is so fucking stupid and reckless and I knew it from the start. I tried to hold it, I tried to not let any feelings grow. I swear we tried but it was too much to hide.” Namjoon sighs and runs a hand on his face. “We tried so hard to ignore our feelings but it was futile. This wasn’t the life he was promised and I can’t let him live like this anymore. But please, you need to understand.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook whispers. “This is very dangerous, You don’t know what they can do.”

Namjoon appreciates Jungkook's concern, he knows they care about him but this is something he needs to do. Namjoon pats Jungkook’s head and gives him a little smile. Hoseok only watches them in silence. He knows Namjoon will do it anyway, no matter what.

“Be careful,” Hoseok finally says. “Keep me updated about everything and I’ll try to keep you safe too.”

Namjoon smiles. 

“I will, Hoseokie,” Namjoon grabs something from his bag and hands it to Hoseok. A copy of the book he wrote about Seokjin.

“ Midnight Rain?” Hoseok reads the title. “Why Midnight Rain ?”

“He told me one time that he feels like that,” Namjoon plays with the straw of his drink and grins at the memory. “He’d always tried to be sunshine, but he ended up being midnight rain. He said he read it in a book, and he realized it was true.”

“He hadn’t had it easy, right?” Jungkook asks.

Namjoon glances at him and nods.

“He hadn’t. This wasn’t what he wanted, but Chaesun lied to him and his friend.” Namjoon stops. “But that’s something you’ll find out there.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says. “I’ll read it. But you gotta promise me that you’re gonna be careful and you’re gonna do what you can for him, and if you see the situation getting out of control you have to promise you’ll stop.”

Namjoon stares at his friend with a blank expression, he can’t promise that and he doesn’t want to lie to his friend. But sometimes, some lies need to be told.

“I promise.”

∗

Seokjin knows he can’t keep lying about being sick. A week has passed and he can’t keep up with the lie anymore, Yoongi will find out something is wrong, and even worse, his boss will know something is wrong.

He doesn’t dare to talk with Yoongi about what happened with Namjoon. He knows Jimin might perceive something because that’s the way he is. He always knows something. He tried to talk with Jimin, but the moment Seokjin told Yoongi he was sick, the man prohibited him from getting out of his house. 

Seokjin rarely got sick and Yoongi always worried when that happened, because the last time he got ugly sick, Seokjin almost died from an overdosis. That was because their boss wouldn’t let him rest and spend a day laying in bed if he wasn’t fucking someone, he would make him take different meds every two hours for him to recover fast.

That was one of the times Seokjin saw Yoongi cry so much.

Seokjin is sitting on his bed watching his cell phone, unsure of calling his friend. Yoongi called last night but was just seconds, asking if he felt better, Seokjin lied saying it could be worse. He doesn’t know exactly what he is going to tell Yoongi if he calls, but he knows he has to.

Before he can dial the number, the name of his friend lights the screen, and Seokjin answers defeated.

“ You are not sick, are you?” That’s Yoongi’s first words.

Of course, that little man would notice something.

“Good morning to you too, my best friend of all,” Seokjin says sarcastically trying to avoid the conversation coming.

“ Jimin says that you’re not sick, that maybe something else happened,” Silence. “ Can you please tell me what happened that night you left with Namjoon?”

And well, Seokjin can lie to him and has no reason to do it at this point.

“What do you think happened?” 

A long sigh vibrates at the other side of the line, Yoongi sounds frustrated but, far from that, he sounds relieved.

“ Did he pay you for that?” Somehow, Seokjin can hear worry in his friend’s voice.

“He did not,” Seokjin gets quiet, but then whispers. “It wasn’t any of that.”

Another sigh of relief.

“ Jinnie, ” Yoongi starts. “ This is bad. ”

“I know, I’m fucked up.”

Silence settles between them both and Seokjin isn’t sure what he’s going to do now. Yoongi would do everything for him, but he doesn’t know how much he will be able to do. Seokjin can’t put at risk the life of his best friend and only brother, not when he has Jimin with him.

Seokjin would never dare to put the love of Yoongi’s life at risk.

“Listen,” Yoongi says. “Remember what I told you about getting the fuck out of here?”

Seokjin hums in affirmation. He isn’t sure yet what Yoongi meant by that, but he’s still curious about it.

“ Jimin and I are planning to leave next month, ” Yoongi confesses, his voice sounds lower than before and maybe he is having this conversation somewhere he doesn’t want anyone to listen. “ A friend bought us tickets to Japan, you’re coming with us. ”

And that’s the statement Seokjin doesn’t understand yet. Why would he leave with them? He can’t and Yoongi knows it too well. It’s dangerous.

“Yoongi…”

“ No, hyung, listen,” Yoongi interrupts. “ I can’t leave you here, you’re coming with me. ”

And Seokjin doesn’t understand why. He starts feeling funny and he’s feeling a little overwhelmed for some reason.

“ We promised each other that if some of us succeeded in escaping from here, we would help the other.” Yoongi sounds serious and firm about his words. “ Seokjin hyung, I promised I would get you out of here. And I will.”

Seokjin doesn’t notice it but he is crying. A tear travels down his cheek, and suddenly he can’t stop it. 

“I don’t want to leave Namjoon,” Seokjin finally confesses in tears.

“ Hyung,” Yoongi whispers. “ This is the only chance we have, and I promise you will see him again. It won’t take too much time.”

Since Seokjin met Namjoon, silence has been one of his favorite sounds. But right now, he wishes his surroundings were loud because he knows what silence means too.

He can’t fight against what Yoongi says; can’t fight against the fact that yes, he has feelings for Namjoon. But he’s been looking for his freedom all this time. If he stays, he won’t be able to love Namjoon as he wants, he won’t be able to have him all days and nights. He won’t be able to touch him or feel his touch every day in the morning without mixing it with the feeling of strangers. He can’t give Namjoon this kind of life. 

If Seokjin stays, he won’t have freedom.

If Seokjin stays, he won’t have Namjoon.

“Yoongi,” Seokjin whispers. “I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want any other man to touch me.”

The younger sighs on the other line, he understands. He had always been understanding and patient. Yoongi always understood.

“ Just come here, I won’t give you any clients.”

Silence.

“I’m scared, Yoongi,” Seokjin admits.

“ I know, I am too. But,” Somehow, Seokjin can feel a tender smile in the way Yoongi says the next words. “ You’ll be next to me, I’ll be next to you. You won’t be alone, I won’t be alone.”

They’ve known each other for so long, gone through a lot side by side. Seokjin knows every word coming from Yoongi is true. He knows he won’t ever be alone. Not when Yoongi is there.

∗

“You titled it Midnight Rain. ”

Namjoon wanted to show Seokjin the final result of their hard work after all these months. They hadn’t discussed the title of the book, Seokjin said he wanted a fancy name, something that could represent him in the best way but he didn’t expect Namjoon to title it like that. He described himself like that once, but he didn’t expect Namjoon to consider naming it like that.

He likes it tho.

“You wanted something unique,” Namjoon excuses himself. “I remember you called yourself that and I liked it, it was very you.”

Seokjin huffs and even if he tries, he can’t contain his giddiness. He loves it when Namjoon praises him or says something corny. He likes hearing things like this.

“What?” Namjoon asks. He looks worried. He’s cute. “You don’t like it?”

The elder giggles and gives Namjoon a sweet smile.

“I like it. Very much,” Seokjin emphasizes. “Doesn’t make it sound as if you’re talking about a whore.”

Namjoon stares at Seokjin and gets up from the chair next to the mini bar. He used to sit there to hear Seokjin talk about his stories, sometimes trivial things too, sometimes just little chats about everything. He used to watch Seokjin sitting on his bed, sometimes sitting on his vanity getting ready. He used to sit there to have a drink with him while writing. 

He walks to the elder who is cross-legged on the bed, staring at the book in his hands. Namjoon usually can read Seokjin’s eyes but right now he’s not so sure what’s that glint in his eyes. Namjoon supports himself on the bed, caging with his arms the sitting figure of Seokjin,  he places a kiss on his forehead and stares at him.

“You’re much more than that, baby,” Namjoon says firmly, staring at Seokjin in his eyes.

The elder smiles lazily, pretending he’s not flustered by the pet name. He looks at the man in front of him. Namjoon has the most beautiful dragon eyes Seokjin had seen before.

“You’re too nice for me, my dearest,” Seokjin says.

“You’re now talking like a dainty man from the nineteenth century,” Namjoon jokes, leaning forward to Seokjin. “That’s very attractive of you.”

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate and steals a kiss from the man. Namjoon smiles in the kiss and Seokjin feels something funny in his belly. When he thinks of Namjoon he feels like dreaming, sometimes he can’t believe he can have him like this, nor does he believe that Namjoon wants him.

“I want to take you home,” Namjoon confesses.

“I don’t think we can do that again,” Seokjin says with a hint of disappointment in his voice. “At least, not for now.”

“Do I have to ask Yoongi for permission?”

They both laugh at the absurdity but Seokjin knows Namjoon is trying to ease the conversation, they’re having a good time together and he knows that Namjoon doesn’t want to ruin it.

“How much you can wait for me?”

The question takes Namjoon aback. Is not a weird question, but somehow, it makes Namjoon feel uneasy. He doesn’t know how to answer.

“I have waited for you this long,” Namjoon starts. “I think I can wait for you a little more.”

“What a romantic line.” Seokjin teases and places a small peck on Namjoon’s lips.

“But, why the question?”

The only thing Seokjin can’t ever do from now on is lie to Namjoon, but he has found ways to tell the truth in cryptic forms that won’t sound like a lie but also won’t be totally true. He knows that could hurt them both, but that’s the only way he can do this right now. 

“I was just wondering,” Seokjin says. “I think I have to travel soon.”

Namjoon stares quietly at him and Seokjin can feel the discomfort in the way his breath gets a bit heavier.

“Your boss' gonna take you out again?”

“I think so,” He lies. “He called recently and told Yoongi he has new clients.”

Well, that’s a total lie.

“Are you going to be his companion or you would have to do something else?” There’s fear in Namjoon’s voice and that breaks Seokjin’s heart.

“Don’t worry about that,” Seokjin wishes he could take his fears away but he knows very well he is the one who brought it there. “Trust me, nothing will happen.”

Namjoon kisses him again and falls with Seokjin onto the bed. The kiss is messy and desperate, Seokjin likes it that way. Namjoon smells so fresh today and the weight over his body feels just right. The day feels warm and maybe that’s because every day with Namjoon feels like that.

Seokjin is not sure how long it would take for them to see each other again, but he hopes it will be soon. He hugs Namjoon so tightly and he knows that’s the best choice for them. He can’t have everything, and for him to have Namjoon, maybe he has to lose him.

∗

It’s been two weeks since Seokjin saw Namjoon, the brothel has been chaotic since Seokjin doesn’t give his services. Yoongi knew this would happen, but he’s trying everything on his hands to help his friend feel comfortable and specially, to prevent his boss from finding out what’s happening. 

The elder stays locked in his room almost all day, he just gets out when Jimin calls him to the bar or when there’s a client that just wants to enjoy a drink with him. He still charges the same amount of money for a drink, he is that good . 

Today is one of those days when he is chatting with Jimin about nonsense.

Today’s talk is a discussion about why Jimin should stop buying different kinds of mugs when he’s running out of space in his small departament with Yoongi.

In comparison to Seokjin, Yoongi doesn’t have the privilege of living in a penthouse with a great amount of luxuries. Even if he’s the one running the brothel, Chaesun thought that Yoongi didn’t deserve the facilities Seokjin deserved just for the only reason that he wanted to live with Jimin.

Yoongi didn’t care at all, in fact, he was relieved because that meant he wouldn’t have eyes on him everyday at every hour. He feels grateful for the space he shares with his Jimin.

“You don’t get it hyung, there are a lot of different mugs and all of them are so pretty,” Jimin tries to convince Seokjin who is sitting with Yoongi on the sofas in front of the bar. It’s not opening hours yet so they’re enjoying their company.

“Mini, it’s not that I don’t get it, it’s that we don’t have space in our home for more mugs”, Yoongi reasons.

“You are exaggerating,” Jimin defends. “Of course we have space, it’s just that the shelfs in our home don't allow us to have more mugs.”

Seokjin watches the couple argue about something so mundane, so basic and for a moment he feels envious of them. He’s very fond of them and he couldn’t be happier for them finding each other. They’re a match made in heaven, one heart and one soul. They’re meant to be.

“Well, I can’t buy more shelves cause we don’t have space, baby,” Yoongi looks at his boyfriend and shrugs when Jimin pouts in disappointment. Jimin is too cute for Yoongi’s sake.

“But I have a question” Seokjin intervenes.

“Where are you going to leave all of your mugs once we get out of here?”

Jimin seems happy that his hyung has asked that question. He walks from the bar to sit on Yoongi’s lap, he grabs his waist and Jimin starts speaking.

“We won’t leave forever, did you know that?”

Seokjin seems confused, he doesn’t get what his friend is telling him. Yoongi looks like he has something to say but doesn’t know how to elaborate.

“What do you mean?” Seokjin asks.

“Babe, you didn’t explain to him?” Jimin asks his boyfriend.

Yoongi is staring at the ground and is biting his lip, he’s trying to say something.

“When I told you we were leaving was because someone has helped us to find a way to get out of here,” Yoongi looks at Seokjin.

“I didn’t know how to explain it, but these people know Namjoon very well,” At the mention of his name, Seokjin starts feeling nervous. 

“What?”

“The man I talked with asked me please to not tell you this but you have to know.”

Jimin kisses Yoongi’s cheek and stands up from his lap. He leaves them to talk alone and Yoongi thanks his boyfriend silently by sharing a soft smile and a hand squeeze.

“Who did you talk with, Yoongi?” Seokjin’s feeling scared suddenly. What if Chaesun sent someone to pretend to be close to Namjoon to lure them into a trap?

“He’s a detective, he said his name was Detective Jung,” Yoongi says with confidence. “He told me that Namjoon has been helping them to collect information about our boss and that he’s been planning ways of getting you out of here,” Yoongi sits straight and looks directly at Seokjin who seems perplexed.

“Hyung, Namjoon asked this detective to help you.The Detective Jung said that Namjoon can’t know about anything he’s planning cause if he does what Namjoon asked, he will be at risk,” Seokjin is speechless. “Namjoon wanted to leave with you but that would be risky for him, so Detective Jung wants us to go to Japan with some other detectives so they can protect us and Namjoon too. He explained that they’ve been following our boss for years and when Namjoon found out about this story about someone who swindled rich men and wanted to write about it, Detective Jung found out that it was you and that you worked with our boss. Did you know that his name is Lee Chaesun?”

Seokjin does know the name of their boss. He is the only one who knows.

“Yes,” That’s the only word he can formulate. Yoongi seems impressed by the declaration but he quickly changes his expression.

“Hyung, Namjoon wrote that book about you as an investigation but then he found out that this situation was worse than he expected. He kept lending Detective Jung information and at the same time he was finding ways of helping you. The detective said that he was acting out of feelings and that’s why his plan wasn’t the safest one. Detective Jung planned something else and that’s what we’re going to do. You can’t tell Namjoon what I told you.”

This is too much to process and Seokjin is feeling pretty overwhelmed. 

Namjoon was trying to help him all this time? 

He put himself at risk just for him?

Why would he do that?

Seokjin thinks this doesn’t make sense. Yoongi is looking at him expectantly, as if he’s waiting for his hyung to say something or yell at him for not telling him sooner. They’re basically a fortnight to fly to Japan and Yoongi is telling him all of this just now?

“Namjoon is staying here?”

Yoongi blinks, maybe he can’t believe that’s the only thing he’s going to ask after all the information thrown at him right now. 

“Yes, he’s staying here safe and sound,” Yoongi answers sincerely. “We’re staying in Japan for a few months until they catch him, I don’t know how but they found his hiding place. Seems like he never leaves Seoul, he hides and pretends to be overseas. A fucking liar.”

“Namjoon won’t be involved right?”

“He won’t, hyung. That’s why we’re doing this, to not get him involved. I think this detective is a very close friend of his, I don’t know how else would he know about your situationship with him and how important you are to him.” 

Yoongi nods to himself, as if trying to comfort himself or reassure the words he’s going to say. “We’ll come back, hyung. We have to wait some time but they will catch him and we will be able to leave this curse fucking place. You’re going to be with Namjoon and I’m going to fly to Thailand and marry Jimin. We will leave this miserable life behind and get what we deserve. I will work hard to give Jimin a house big enough for him to place all of his mugs everywhere and you’re going to be happy, you will have everything he promised and never gave you. You’re getting what’s yours, hyung. But you need to trust me. We are protecting Namjoon by doing this.”

Seokjin nods and finally realizes that maybe there’s a way he can have his freedom and Namjoon all together.

He wants… no, he desires a life where he can love freely and doesn’t need to hide, or be selling his love to every man on earth. He desires a life where he can feel loved, cared and specially a life where saying forever is a promise and not a sweetest con.

Seokjin blinks trying to get himself back on earth.

He loves Namjoon, he wants him to stay safe.

“I want to see Namjoon, Yoongi.”

“I can call him to come…” 

“No,” Seokjin interrupts. “Can you take me to his place?”