Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One: Part One

It had already been a long morning.

Dirk had been planning for this day for months. His daughter, Evelyn, turned five years old today. She had requested a Lego theme, to which he had joyously agreed.

The house was decorated to Evelyn’s exact specifications. Lego and Squishmallow motifs covered every appropriate surface, from the walls to the foldable party tables. Dirk had labeled dedicated spaces for gifts, food, games, and he had been sure to leave a full table open for Jane’s inevitable baked good explosion.

The Strider-English household was dressed to the nines in a demonstration of domestic birthday bliss.

Though, the party was not off to a good start.

Dirk was climbing the stairs to Evelyn’s room, rubbing his face behind his shades and sighing deeply. She was napping, and he was on his way to wake her before her party.

She’d needed a nap after the morning she’d had. His baby was five, and she’d already cried so much today.

For Jake.

Jake had been gone nearly two months today, off on some adventure to some far-off nowhere away from his family. He promised he would be back in time for the party, but Dirk was running short on belief for Jake’s promises.

Dirk shook away the thought. Dave and Karkat were with him, as was Jade, and everyone else would be there soon. His feelings were barely secondary to Evelyn’s. He was determined to make today special for her.

She had already cried today, begging Dirk to bring Papa home for her birthday. He’d held her, calming her as much as he could before he sent her to nap away her worries.

He stood in front of her door, steeling himself and forcing his expression to a warm neutral. Jake would be there, because he had to be.

For Evelyn. Not for Dirk. Never for Dirk.

Dirk knocked twice on the door, opening it slowly to check on his daughter. She was still asleep, so he crossed the room to shake her gently.

“Queen Evelyn, it’s time to get up for your party,” he said in a quiet voice, sinking into the mattress beside her.

Evelyn sighed, making a soft noise as she stretched herself awake.

“Is Papa here?” she said sleepily, blinking up at her Dad.

Dirk felt his stomach twist.

“Not yet, kiddo,” he said, “But your Aunt Jade is downstairs waiting to play with you to get your party started. Are you ready to get up? Do you feel better?”

Dirk was hoping to change the subject, as he so often did these days when Jake was mentioned.

Evelyn frowned, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“My head doesn’t hurt anymore.” she said, reaching for her Dad to help her out of bed, “I’m excited to play with Aunt Jade!”

Dirk smiled, relieved that she hadn’t pressed further about Jake’s whereabouts. He helped her stand, dropping on one knee in front of her to fix her messy braid.

Evelyn sat patiently as her Dad fussed with her long black hair. Once he was done, she twirled in front of her mirror.

"Perfect! Another reason I keep you around as my advisor." She said happily.

Dirk smiled fondly, an expression he reserved for his daughter. "Perfect, as usual, my liege." He bowed dramatically. "Shall we join the common folk?"

Evelyn nodded primly, before making her way downstairs with Dirk.

Jade, who had been fiddling on her phone, looked up and brightened. "Evelyn! Hey there!" She said, hopping up and reaching out as Evelyn went to tackle her into a hug. Jade held her up in front of her, looking at her with a keen eye. "Hmmm.... you don't look like my usual little Evelyn. Could you be... are you... old now?!" Jade gasped as Evelyn giggled and nodded.

As Dirk watched this interaction, he felt an odd feeling wash over him, almost like he was forgetting something. Dirk paused, his mind reeling. He patted his pockets.

Phone? Check.

Keys? On the hook.

Evelyn? Right in front of him.

He turned the corner into the kitchen.

From around the corner, Hal jumped out with a shout, spooking him.

Dirk jumped hard, grabbing his chest and stepping backwards. His shades nearly fell off of his face, hanging by one ear and revealing wide, startled eyes.

"... God damn you Hal."
Hal let out a robotic chuckle, his carefully sculpted voice almost gleeful.

"You're losing your edge, Dirk." He said as he breezed past his almost-twin, bee-lining for Evelyn.

Evelyn, who had been watching with wide eyes, scrambled to hop down out of Jade's arms and into Hal's.

"Uncle Hal!" She said happily, giggling and shrieking loudly as Hal grabbed her and tossed her in the air, catching her carefully.

Hal was a masterwork of robotics, a collaboration between himself, Dirk, Roxy, and Jade. The freedom of movement, the information feedback from his limbs and senses, the movement of his realistic face surprisingly human-like.

Dirk straightened himself, fixing his shades and adjusting his shirt.

"I guess I forgot you were invited." He scowled, "Can't blame me for wishful thinking."

Dirk mentally cringed, seeing his daughter fly into the air. He was hopeful that Hal would 1) not drop her and 2) not see through his attempt to justify being so easily startled. His mind was genuinely elsewhere, but not for having forgotten Hal's invitation.

With Evelyn safely in Hal's arms, he tucked her against his hip and turned back towards Dirk with a smirk.

"Don't be a fool, bro. You're never getting rid of me." Hal said, before turning to Evelyn. "Right, M'lady?"

"I'm a Queen now." Evelyn corrected factually, in stark contrast to her clinging gleefully to him.

Dirk rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Despite my best efforts." He said, crossing his arms. His expression softened slightly, seeing Evelyn happy with Hal. "Thanks for coming though. Don't take her to the backyard yet. I'm going to make some phone calls." He said, stepping towards the front door.

Hal's gaze sharpened on Dirk's back, and he carefully untangled Evelyn's clinging arms from himself.

"Here, cuddle Aunt Jade." He said, and Evelyn was confused but unwilling to turn down cuddles with Jade.

Evelyn successfully detached, Hal followed Dirk outside.

Dirk stepped onto the porch, unaware for his focus on his phone that he was being followed.

He checked his notifications, finding a few party-related updates but no news from Jake.

He opened his phone app, hovering over the green phone icon beneath Jake's smiling contact image.

"Okay, spill." Hal said, directly behind Dirk.

Dirk startled, again, nearly dropping his phone. He grit his teeth and took a deep breath to steel himself.

"I'm getting you a fucking bell. You're like a ghost, following me around and haunting me." He said, stubbornly refusing the request.

"Yeah, except I'm not literally stuck to you like your shadow any more. So I don't have my finger on the pulse, and you've been texting me a solid 60% less over the last year, with an almost complete message embargo over the last month."

Hal narrowed his eyes and shifted closer to Dirk.

"So I gave you your space, and now I get here, and you're spooking at shadows and hesitating to call Jake; who by the fucking way isn't here." Hal crossed his arms. "So, spill."

Dirk glared at Hal through his shades, his eyes shifting between Hal's. He stood in silence for longer than he should have, before reluctantly relenting the staring contest.

He turned his face away, pushing his shades up his nose. "I'm not talking about it in front of the house. If you're going to follow me, we're going to march our happy asses down to the corner store and unpack it on the sidewalk as God, being me, intended. That is the caveat. Evelyn cannot under any circumstances be made aware that I am anything less than tickled fucking pink today. Understood?"

"What are you waiting for? Let's go." Hal said, and they started the walk down the long driveway.

It was silent as they made distance between them and the house. Eventually, Dirk could feel Hal’s eyes lock on him.

Hal kept his expression deliberately neutral, save for the impatient quirk of his eyebrow. The quick glint of light across his eyes was hidden behind his shades as he completed a full body scan of Dirk.

Dirk looked like shit. He was exhausted and dehydrated. His heart rate was high, his blood sugar was low. Hal would wager a guess that, whatever Jake had done, Dirk was punishing himself for it.

Hal tried to keep his expression casual, but his eyes were narrowing with concern and a growing dissatisfaction.

Dirk sighed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and offering it to Hal.

“He’s ignoring me,” Dirk said, keeping his eyes forward as they walked, “More than that, he’s been avoiding me for weeks.”

Dirk allowed Hal a moment to scroll through the messages. Dirk had sent barely two dozen texts over the last two months, receiving a response once a week, if he was lucky. Jake's responses became less enthusiastic and less infrequent in the days leading up to the party. The calls were wildly disproportionate, every two calls Dirk made received one text and very rarely a return call.

“He almost didn’t show up today. Said something about thinking the party was next week. He ignored my calls this morning, asking where he was. But... he texted Jade, telling her he would be late." Dirk said impassively.

To anyone else, Dirk would be unreadable. But to Hal? The thread to which Dirk's composure was tethered was bare, one small bump away from snapping and sending him on a downward spiral.

Hal looked Dirk over again, taking in his appearance. Dirk’s eyes were bloodshot. His fingernails were chewed short, the skin around them raw. The bandages on his arms did little to mask the recent self-inflicted injuries. Hal couldn’t stop the frown from pulling at his face.

Hal redirected his attention to the phone, reading through the texts and noting the calls. He was silent for a moment as he processed.

“He’s hiding something.” Hal said factually, “Or he feels guilty. He's acting suspicious as fuck. This is textbook stupid ass English behavior, but from ten years ago when he could pretend he didn't know better."

They walked for another long moment in silence as Hal handed Dirk's phone back to him. Hal took a beat to steady himself, the spike of indignant rage he felt for Dirk sparking and crackling in his chest.

Jake had been well behaved for a very long time. When Dirk found out he was pregnant, Jake stepped up to a surprising degree. He stepped up more so when Dirk decided to keep the pregnancy. Jake had been playing “Papa” for so long, even Hal had let his guard down.

Jake’s absence now made Hal feel foolish for leaving for so long. He was so out of the loop, he didn’t know if there were signs leading to this.

“When, or if, he gets here, I'll pin him and you can interrogate. We'll squeeze the truth out of this goddamn man baby." Hal said bitterly.

Dirk took the phone back wordlessly. They walked in silence for a few paces, until Dirk scoffed.

"This is fucking infuriating. What the hell could possibly be going on in his head to make him think this is acceptable behavior? If it was just me, whatever. I could live with him softcore ghosting me. Do I deserve it? I don't know. Probably not. But what I do know is that Evelyn does fucking not deserve it."

Dirk stopped on the sidewalk, turning towards Hal. His voice was uncharacteristically raised, "She was full on ugly crying this morning, on her fucking birthday. She curled up in my arms and sobbed, begging me for her Papa to come back. I couldn't even give her an educated guess as to when that would be! When I last spoke to him he was telling me he was so excited for her birthday, next fucking week. So how can I look at my daughter and tell her "oh yeah no worries sweetie your other Dad will be back eventually, maybe, probably, he just forgot your fucking birthday!"

Dirk gripped his face with pained exhaustion, pushing his shades up onto his head.

Hal scoffed, "Maybe you should be honest with her. It's not like it's your fault he's being a douche, and if someone kept this shit from us when we were young we would be pissed. She's going to learn her Papa is a fucking flake. It’s just a matter of when. Now, when you are breaking your fucking back trying to paint a lie for her, or later, when even you can't hide his fucking bullshit."

Hal rolled his robotic shoulders, the only visible tell to his anger.

Dirk paused, chewing the thought. "I want to see his face. I want him to tell me what the fucking problem is. If he doesn't show up today, if he doesn't see her on her birthday, there is nothing else I can do to save face for him. He's forcing my hand. I'll need to ask Jade, or apparently any of our other friends, seeing as how he still talks to them. One of our friends will need to help me track him down. I don't want to be the messenger for him hurting Evelyn. He should do it himself, and take fucking accountability. Fuck this."

Hal nodded. "Alright, I guess I'll let you take the lead on this one. Even if I'm the robot with fifty times your processing power, and you're the meat sack who looks like he hasn't slept in a week." He smirked at Dirk.

Dirk fixed his shades, glaring at Hal. "An interesting attempt at a roast, considering I'm better rested now than I was when I programmed that processing power."

The two bantered and bickered the rest of the way back to the house. Dirk felt moderately better, relieved that Hal would be around for the confrontation with Jake. Hal hadn’t exactly calmed him down, but venting to his best friend about his situation made him feel secure.

Security was a feeling that Dirk was sorely missing, and Hal had arrived just in time to offer it.

Chapter One: Part Two

The party went smoothly for the first few hours, save for Dirk’s rapid and anxious pacing. He busied himself by moving between the guests, offering drink refills and dry, witty banter as he played host. Dave realized his brother was in a bad mood, and offered to distract him with a quick break in the guest room.

Normally, they would smoke. Dave had his vape on him at all times, but for any of the kid-oriented events it was just vapor to sate his stim needs. Today, Dave brought Dirk to the guest room to sit for a moment and touch base.

Hal remained outside, where he spent some time entertaining the kids on Evelyn’s new obstacle course. His processors were working overtime, focused on the kids playing while eavesdropping on Dirk and Dave.

Dirk was pissed, not that Hal needed his sicknasty robo-hearing to know that.

Hal sat atop the obstacle course, watching Evelyn and her cousins run around the back yard between Rose and Kanaya. He tilted his head slightly, old muscle memory to focus his attention on Dirk’s voice.

“I just want him to tell me what’s wrong,” Dirk said to Dave, “I just want to fix it, bro.”

Hal scoffed from his perch atop Evelyn’s obstacle course. Dirk wanted to fix it? Dirk hadn’t broken it. What the fuck was he talking about?

"I know, Dirk." Dave's voice responded, "I can't speak for Jake. I have no idea what is bouncing around in his brain space, bro. But, I can tell you this: right now? It doesn't matter. He'll be back soon, and the two of you can talk through whatever has his bean freaked. But today? Evelyn needs her Dad here, bro. She needs you to focus on her sick ass birthday party."

"I am focused, I just… ugh," Dirk sighed, "I know. You're right. I need to be present for my kid. You're right. Thank you, man."

Hal shook his head as Dirk and Dave changed the subject, his distaste for Jake and the situation growing by the minute. Dirk hadn’t been eating. Hal would bet he hadn’t been taking his meds, either, or sleeping or doing any of the routine maintenance a meat body required. Dirk was hurting, so Dirk was doing the bare minimum to stay alive and under the radar with his pain.

Hal was disgusted. Jake was probably off having the time of his life, leaving Dirk behind to suffer like this. Dirk was suffering, and Jake would come back as if nothing had happened. He would come back, spin some sugar-sweet story about getting lost on his trip, and Dirk would buy it because the story is what’s best for Evelyn.

Hal rolled his shoulders, and decided all at once that he wasn’t going anywhere for a few days. Maybe longer. He would stay until he could trust that Dirk was safe.

After a few more minutes of brooding, Hal heard Evelyn calling for him. He snapped himself out of his sulking and climbed down to her with a smile.

Before long, Dirk had calmed enough to return to the party. Dave had his own worries, but reassured Dirk that he was not alone, no matter the outcome.

Dirk had just called Evelyn inside for cake when the front door opened. Jake stepped inside, and Evelyn squealed with delight.

“Papa!” she shouted, releasing Dirk’s hand to run to Jake.

“There you are, my big girl!” Jake said, grinning happily as he scooped her into his arms.

Evelyn immediately began to chat her Papa’s ear off about her party. Jade and Jane moved to greet Jake, but Dirk made no steps to do so.

Instead, Dirk looked at Dave.

“So, now that he’s here, I can stop playing host.” Dirk said, smirking, “You ready to get absolutely obliterated at Smash Bros?”

Dave groaned mournfully, “Fine. On the condition that I play Kirby, the Smash Bros MVP.”

“Deal.” Dirk agreed.

Hal made his way indoors, forcing his expression neutral as he watched Jake smiling and laughing with Evelyn. He swallowed his scowl, then ran another scan over Dirk.

Blood pressure, raised. Heart rate, raised. Body temperature, elevated around his face. Blood sugar, still garbage.

Dirk was pissed.

He sat down on the couch beside Dirk, reaching for another set of controllers to join the Smash Bros frenzy.

"Yo." Hal said casually, "Are you ready to get your ass spanked?"

"By Sephiroth? Always." Dirk said, just as casually.

"Gross." Dave sighed, leaning into Karkat on the couch.

Dirk obliterated Dave and Karkat, but there was no contest with Hal’s processing power. Dirk resorted to dirty warfare, and as Hal readied Sephiroth’s final smash, Dirk stood and flash-stepped to slam his full body weight across Hal on the couch.

Hal grunted with indignance as his JoyCons fell to the ground, the deep voice of the announcer declaring his defeat as Dirk settled in his lap, leaning against him obnoxiously.

“You disgusting fucking cheater,” Hal accused in a low, monotone voice, “You abrasive little twink. You’re going to fucking pay for that.”

Dirk opened his mouth to speak, his voice lost to Hal’s finger fish-hooking his cheek and pulling him into a headlock.

Dave huffed a laugh, and moved off of the couch as Dirk and Hal wrestled.

“I’m going to check the cake status,” Dave said, raising an eyebrow at Dirk and Hal as they swatted at each other, “Try not to break the couch with your cartoon-esque dust cloud of fists and fury.”

Karkat stepped carefully around the fray, rolling his eyes as he dutifully followed Dave to the kitchen.

Dirk swatted and pawed at Hal, laughing as their roughhousing eased. He pulled himself upright, finding his shades on the ground and returning them to his face.

"Since when are you ticklish?" Dirk said, raising an eyebrow at Hal.

Hal shrugged, "I've had nothing but time. Lots of upgrades. I'm still not half as ticklish as you, bro, don't even try it." He threatened.

"Noted." Dirk snorted, leaning back into the couch. His smile, even as small as it was, faded as he listened to Jake's voice in the other room.

Hal tilted his head towards Jake’s voice, then he scoffed.

"Dude, I'll drag him outside right now. I'll bring him outside, and we'll squeeze answers out of him." He growled.

"No, I just… I need to go greet him." Dirk sighed, "I need to be here for Evelyn. I can't hide out in here, as much as I don't trust myself not to peel him like an onion until I unearth his fucking problem."

Hal hummed in reply, unconvinced.

Dirk leaned forward, patting Hal reassuringly on the thigh. "I'll be fine. You're first in line for the role of "bad cop" in his interrogation." He said, "I'm getting back to the party."

Hal said nothing, his eyes locked on Dirk’s hand on his thigh.

Dirk raised an eyebrow, then pulled himself up to stand. He let the silence stretch as he left the room.

Hal kept his eyes on his thigh, his jaw clenched and his chest tight as the feeling of Dirk’s touch lingered.

Dirk didn't deserve this shit.

Jake didn't notice Dirk enter the kitchen. He was chatting away with Jane, laughing loudly about some adventure mishap when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He turned, tensing as his eyes met Dirk’s shades.

"O-oh, Dirk!" He said, seeming taken aback.

Jane, reading the room, turned to Evelyn.

"Why don't we start gathering the guests to cut your cake?" Jane said, to Evelyn's delight. They left the room as Evelyn babbled happily about how cool her Lego cake was.

Dirk stood in front of Jake, pushing his shades into his hair and looking into Jake’s face with piercing amber eyes.

"Hey." He said softly, sighing and reaching to touch Jake’s face.

Jake’s expression fell slightly, before he seemed to steel himself, his smile returning.

"Hello, my heart." Jake said, touching Dirk’s face to mirror his affections.

"I'm sorry I was so shitty to you this morning." Dirk said, his voice a low whisper as he turned to kiss Jake’s palm, "I was… I was worried you wouldn't make it. I should have trusted you."

Jake felt his stomach twisting, remembering Dirk’s heated voicemail.

"If you don't show up to her party, don't come home." Dirk had said, the angry culmination of weeks of frustration.

Jake sighed, cupping Dirk’s face and leaning in to kiss him gently.

"Let's forget it happened, love." Jake said, smiling softly, "Today is about little Evie. You and I can work through the grown up problems another time."

Dirk nodded, relief washing over him at the idea that Jake wanted to work through the problems with him at all.

Distantly, a door slammed somewhere in the house. Dirk twitched slightly, but chose not to pursue the source.

He didn't need to. He knew the source, and Hal's absence between Cake Time and Gift Time drove the slamming door home.

Hal was pissed.

Some time later, after cake and gifts and chaotic mingling, everyone who remained at the party had settled into the living room to watch Evelyn's favorite movie; The Mummy.

Dirk sat beside Jake, no longer caring for the tension between them. He had hardly slept all week, and Jake’s proximity now was such a relief to him he could not deny himself cuddles on the couch.

Jake relented immediately, shifting to hold Dirk under one arm and Evelyn under the other. Dirk dozed off before the end of the first act, his soft coos and snores pulling a giggle out of Evelyn.

Hal had perched himself on the roof of the house like a Gargoyle. Jake was hiding something. Jake was sitting on some bullshit fucking secret, and Dirk was too wrapped up in the fantasy that everything would work out to realize the danger right in front of him.

Jake was a flight risk, so Hal stewed on the rooftop as he watched the perimeter. He was angry, and not entirely at Jake.

Not even entirely at Dirk.

Hal had been gone for so long, convinced that Dirk was okay and Jake was playing Papa to an acceptable degree. Hal was angry at himself for letting Dirk get this bad.

He wouldn't let that happen again.

By the time Dirk woke, the movie was over and the party guests had cleared, save for Jade. She lingered, worrying and helping tidy up after the party. Jake had delicately extracted Dirk from his side, and carried Evelyn to bed.

Dirk woke with a stretch, walking to the kitchen to find Jake helping Jade with the last of the cleaning.

Jade gave Dirk a sympathetic look, "Hey Dirk. Do you need anything else before I go?" She asked sweetly.

Dirk tucked himself against Jake’s side, "No, you've done more than enough. Thank you, Jade. Extra bikkies for your hard work."

Jade barked a laugh, imposing herself on the two of them for one last hug before she said her goodbyes and teleported away.

Finally alone, Dirk sighed and looked up at Jake.

Jake didn't meet his eyes.

"We should get upstairs," Dirk said, squeezing Jake’s side.

"Of course." Jake said, forcing a smile.

Dirk felt his brow furrow, but he didn't comment as they climbed the stairs and walked into their bedroom.

"Evelyn is fast asleep." Jake commented as he entered the room.

Dirk nodded, crossing the room quietly as he stripped off his shirt. He had lost a good amount of weight since Jake had left. His ribs were visible beneath his skin, and his arms were covered with the cross-hatched lines of self harm, each area in a different stage of healing.

As Dirk changed into PJs, he started the conversation tentatively. "... How was your trip?"

Jake watched Dirk change, frowning at the changes in his body and not responding for a long moment.

"It was fine." He said quietly, before changing as well. He looked like he had something he wanted to say, but thought better of it.

Dirk settled on an old sleeveless shirt and sweatpants, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at Jake.

"Jake? I know emotional vulnerability isn't something the two of us are well versed in. I know you struggle with being open with me, but..." he trailed off, looking at the ground, "I am begging you, please. Please, tell me what I did. I can't take... I can't handle sitting here all day and night, wondering what I did to you to make you pull away. Whatever it is, I want to fix it. I love you, and I miss you. Please just tell me." Dirk felt entirely out of his element. He felt like he had two left feet, showing this level of raw emotion leaving him exposed.

He wouldn’t, normally. Under different circumstances, with anyone else, he would maintain his impassive and stoic nature. In this case, though? He wanted to be better. He wanted to be better for his daughter, and for his family, even if he felt out of place.

Jake swallowed, stepping forward until he was right in front of Dirk. He cupped Dirk's face, and tilted Dirk’s chin until their eyes met.

"I promise, you have done nothing wrong. " He said softly, his eyes begging Dirk to believe him.

Swallowing thickly, Jake gave him a calculating look and then slid his hands down to Dirk's chest. He gently pushed Dirk back on the bed, shifting their bodies until he was positioned above Dirk.

"I've missed you terribly, my heart." He said in a low voice, slowly gaining confidence. "Would you let me show you how much I've missed you?"

Without waiting for Dirk's reply, Jake began to kiss his neck. Jake did not want to talk about it.

Dirk opened his mouth to protest, the sound coming out in a gasp as Jake’s teeth caught his clavicle.

"Jake-" he started, silenced by Jake’s lips pressing into his own.

Dirk struggled weakly, his protests melting away as he sighed into the kiss.

After a few moments, Dirk was returning the kiss, gasping and panting every time they broke to breathe. Jake slid his hands down Dirk’s sides, gripping his hips and working himself between Dirk’s thighs.

Dirk inhaled sharply through his nose, his vision filled with stars as Jake began to grind against him.

Dirk's parted lips invited Jake’s tongue deeper into his mouth, a soft moan passing between them as Jake’s cock ground into Dirk.

"Wait-" Dirk said weakly, pushing into Jake’s chest as Jake parted for air, "Baby, please…"

Dirk's eyes were desperate, and as Jake looked into them he felt his heart breaking. Dirk looked completely gutted, and Jake was taking advantage of his grief. Jake opened his mouth, and no sound came out.

"Jake, I need to know we're okay. Please." Dirk said, reaching to touch Jake’s cheek.

He was giving Jake one last chance. One chance to be honest with him, to talk to him and fix whatever was wrong.

Jake didn't answer for a long moment, and when he did his insincerity was clear.

"Dirk… we are more than okay. Everything is fine." Jake said, pulling away from Dirk, "Though… perhaps sex isn't what you need? I'm not sure how to help you. Nothing is wrong, my love."

Dirk was stunned. He had given Jake so many outs, so many opportunities to open up and talk, to fix whatever was wrong. Dirk even took responsibility for it, fully prepared to accept the blame for a problem he couldn't even identify, and Jake just spit in his face.

Dirk sat up, staring at Jake in disbelief.

"Dirk…?" Jake said tentatively.

"I don't need anything." Dirk said, his voice void of emotion, "You said we're fine, so we're fine. No shut-up-sex necessary. I believe you."

Jake looked struck as Dirk stood, and he watched in silence as Dirk walked out of the room.

Jake leaned against their bed, flinching as he heard Dirk slam the door to the guest room.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

Dirk began an angry, rapid pace in the guest room. For several minutes, he walked back and forth across the room, trying and failing to vent his frustration through motion. He was angry, and he was hurt, and he was so bitterly alone. Even the bare few moments of kissing and touching with Jake left him burning up, but he was too angry to think about that.

Well, he was almost too angry to think about that.

With a sigh, Dirk flopped unceremoniously onto the guest bed. He buried his face into the comforter, trying to ease the indignant rage he felt in his chest.

Dirk clenched his jaw, the conversation with Jake on repeat in his brain. Jake’s touch lingered and burned against his skin, the dampness in his boxers an infuriating reminder that he hadn't been touched like that in months.

Why was Jake doing this to him? At least if Jake had lied more convincingly, Dirk could have justified fucking him before he stormed out. Dirk squirmed against the bed, his physical frustration scraping against his anger. He felt out of control, the taste of Jake’s kiss pulling him further away from his indignance.

He couldn't go back to Jake now. Jake’s lies were still ringing in his ears. No matter how desperate his body was for release, he couldn't see through his anger. Dirk waited several minutes for the ache between his thighs to ebb, or for the pressure in his head to alleviate, but neither happened. He was as pissed as he was desperately needy, and he couldn't ignore either problem anymore. Sighing and done with his body's complaints, Dirk pulled himself out of bed.

He crossed the room to the door, his eyes locked on the doorknob. He couldn't go back to Jake. He refused. Instead, he locked the door, and flipped off the light. He pulled off his shirt as he returned to the bed, dropping it on the floor as he gracelessly threw himself onto the mattress.

Dirk had spent many nights in the guest room. His insomnia kept him moving through the house, anyway, and his tossing and turning felt impossible to tolerate with Jake snoring beside him.

More than that, sometimes Jake needed a break. Even Jake’s stamina couldn't keep up with him during his hypersexual peaks.

Dirk shifted onto his back, his bare skin tingling against the soft blankets. He took a deep breath, making one final attempt to soothe his anger. Realizing it was a futile effort, he growled and reached into the drawer of the nightstand.

In the drawer he found a small locked case. He retrieved it, and inputted the combination to release the lock. Dirk hated shopping for sex toys. Even online, the process felt so stiff and awkward, and more often than not the product was of a painfully low quality. Ceaseless headache for unsatisfactory reward.

So, instead, he preferred to build his own toys. The vibrator he kept locked away in the guest room was wireless, with a tapered length leading to a thick enough flare to hold the toy in place. In addition to the vibration setting, the head of the silicone cock could thrust and rotate, the perfect length and girth to hit all of Dirk’s sensitive spots.

A small arm on the vibrator arched over the side of the toy, the exact size needed to pulse against Dirk’s clit. This toy was his personal favorite for heated nights lost in the fog of his hypersexuality, especially during Jake’s extended absences.

Dirk tossed the toy and the wireless remote onto the bed beside him, along with a bottle of lube. He doubted he'd need it, but he didn't want to waste any time with how frustrated he already was.He returned the case to the drawer, and slid his thumbs into the elastic of his sweatpants. He could feel his pulse between his legs, the phantom pressure of Jake’s cock still lingering there.

He sighed softly as he pulled his pants and boxers down his tan thighs, the air of the room shockingly cool against his heated skin. He was still angry, angrier now at himself for the pull of his slick against his boxers. How did he let himself get so worked up by Jake after just a few minutes of kissing and grinding?

He pushed the thought aside, kicking his clothes onto the floor beside the bed. He slid an open palm down his chest, goosebumps sprouting along his arms as he crossed his nipples, then the scars beneath them. A chill pulled through him as he imagined Jake, whose broad hands could nearly circle his waist, sliding his palms down Dirk’s sides to lift him from the bed and grind against him.

Dirk's fingers came to rest at the apex of his thighs, circling the swollen head of his clit with gentle pressure. He gasped softly, already so sensitive he couldn't stand it. He circled the bud a few more times, working himself up before slipping his fingers into his soaking cunt.He cursed himself, infuriated that Jake was still at the forefront of his fantasies as his fingers pushed deeper into his mess.

He didn't waste much time, quickly satisfied that he was prepped for the girth of the toy. He pulled his fingers away, wiping the mess lazily onto the sheet before reaching for the toy beside him. He dribbled some lube on the silicone, spreading it briefly before lining the toy up, and pushing it into his pussy slowly.

He grit his teeth, inhaling sharply as the arm of the toy pressed against his clit. He cringed slightly at the stretch, relaxing once the thickest portion of the toy pushed into him.

Dirk shifted on the bed for a moment, relaxing into the pillows as he allowed himself a moment to adjust. He relaxed his jaw, the rage seeping out of him with the relief of stimulation ramping up. He picked up the remote, laying his forearm over his eyes before pressing one of the buttons. The toy began to vibrate on a low setting, pulling a whimper from his throat. He pressed a second button, gasping as the head of the toy began to thrust and rotate against his walls.

He was already close, and he felt almost disgusted with how desperate for release he was.

Almost.

He pressed one of the buttons twice more, turning his head to one side to bite down on a pillow as a moan tore through his throat. The vibrations against his clit were nowhere near their strongest setting, nor was the toy rotating with its highest intensity, but he was so pitifully untouched that just the medium settings had him gasping and gripping the sheets.

It didn't take him long to finish. The few minutes of attention from Jake were nearly enough to spill him as it was, and this toy was made with the sole purpose of wrecking his shit. Dirk, of course, half assed nothing, so his shit was beyond wrecked after a bare few minutes.

He pressed the power button to stop the toy, panting and spent and deeply relieved.

He shifted to pull the blanket over his shoulder, the cold of the room too much for him in the afterglow of his orgasm. He didn't bother removing the toy, he knew he'd be awake again soon enough, just as desperate as he had been when he came into the room.

It was comfortable enough, anyway, the warm pressure of the toy filling him as he dozed into a restless sleep.

He was asleep by the time his phone dinged with a notification, so he had no idea that Hal had messaged him.

AR: Damn, Princess, that didn't take long. Ten minutes is all it takes to knock you out? You’re already snoring.
AR: You made that yourself, didn’t you?
AR: Oh. It's a bluetooth toy. I see.
AR: It's a real pity I know you so well. If I didn't know better, I could assume you were a good boy. I could assume you didn't just fall asleep with a toy in you. I could assume you cleaned up your mess.
AR: But I do know better.
AR: Don't I, Dirk?

Dirk didn't wake at first.

The vibration of the toy inside of him wasn't enough to stir him, though it did have his hips rocking as he slept soundly. He didn't wake until the vibration started against his clit, still painfully sensitive for cumming so recently. He blinked sleepily for a moment, the blinding pleasure of the vibration crashing hard into him all at once as his senses caught up to him.

The toy was vibrating relentlessly, thrusting and rotating on at least the medium intensity directly against his g-spot. His clit was aching, and he could feel himself painfully close to a second orgasm within a bare few moments.

He reached for the remote, afraid to pull the girthy toy from his cunt too quickly. He pressed the power button, but the toy did not stop. Distantly, he heard his phone chiming another notification. Dirk pressed the power button again, his thighs pulling together tightly as they trembled through the blinding heat of his building orgasm.

The power button did nothing, and Dirk was too close to cumming to care. He whimpered and pressed his thighs together, giving up on stopping the toy. He couldn't clap his hand over his mouth quickly enough to silence his moan before the sound echoed through the guest room, his cry and subsequent whimpers rattling his throat as the vibration intensity increased again.

His cunt clenched tighter around the toy, slick gushing from his hole around the silicone as the white heat of his orgasm tore through his body. He lost his senses for several moments with the intensity of his peak, and by the time he returned to this plane of existence his throat was hoarse and his legs were trembling.

The toy had stopped, leaving his pussy drenched and aching around it. Dirk was panting and confused. He didn't turn the toy on, and if it had malfunctioned it wouldn't have stopped on its own. Before the toy could activate again, he reached between his legs to remove it with a wet squelch and a quiet whine.

His phone chimed again, and he reached for it through the haze of his post-orgasm tremors.

AR: Don't worry, I'll start off slow. I know how sensitive you are.
AR: Pressing the power button won't do anything. Manual override, obviously. Hacked, I'm in. Literally.
AR: Good morning, Sunshine.
AR: You're whimpering. I guess I found the setting you like.
AR: You're a lot louder with me at the wheel, Dirk. That makes sense. I guess I know what you need better than you do, as usual. I have to do everything around here. Maybe you should humble yourself to ask for my help more often.
AR: Damn, that sounded intense. Do you need some water? Poor baby.

Dirk stared at his phone in disbelief, the red flush of his cheeks burning in the cold room.

TT: What the fuck, Hal.
TT: That was you? What the fuck is wrong with you?
AR: Well, who did you think it was? Did you think your fancy toy was possessed by a ghost that just couldn't wait to rock your shit?
TT: No. I thought the toy malfunctioned.
AR: Sorry to disappoint.
AR: Not that you seem disappointed.

Dirk hesitated to respond.

He wasn't disappointed.

Truthfully, he wasn't sure how he felt. Part of him knew that the toy wasn't malfunctioning. Maybe part of him suspected… that Hal was involved.

He shook his head, sighing into his pillow.

Jake was only a room away, deep in a restful sleep while Dirk was fucked remotely by someone else. He was still coming down from his last orgasm, but the thought made his pussy throb again.

He tilted his head, pressing his face into the fabric of the pillow and moaning softly at the thought. Hal had just done that. Hal had been listening, from wherever he was, as Dirk whimpered and whined like a porn star in the other room.

He sighed and looked back to his phone.

TT: Bring me some water?
AR: Sure thing, bestie.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three

Hal walked into the house, having climbed off of the roof at Dirk’s request for water. His true intentions were transparent, and Hal's chest was full of the phantom sensation of nervousness. Sure, he had remotely overridden the toy, that much was true. But Dirk had foregone plausible deniability by accepting Hal's offer to bring him water.

Hal would address that once he and Dirk were alone.

He retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge, and listened in on Dirk as he climbed the stairs to the guest room. Hal could hear the rustle of fabric, presumably Dirk pulling his sweatpants back on. Hal couldn't help but chuckle.

He knocked twice on the guest room door, not waiting for Dirk's okay before he pushed into the room. Dirk was sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless but wearing his sweatpants. He was leaning back on his palms, his expression deliberately casual despite the red flush across his face.

For a moment, Hal didn't speak. He took in the sight of Dirk, the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he recovered from what Hal had done. The blush across his cheeks brought his freckles to life on his face, and Hal burned the image into his memory.

"Yo." Dirk broke the silence, his gaze sharpening, "Close the door, bro. Did you bring me my water?"

"Damn, you sure are bossy to an unearned degree, aren't you?" Hal said, closing the door and locking it, "Here." Hal threw the water harshly at Dirk, smirking as Dirk caught it effortlessly.

"So, what the fuck was that about?" Dirk asked, his tone carefully neutral. He cracked open the bottle of water, quirking an eyebrow at Hal.

"What was what about?" Hal said, crossing his arms lazily over his middle.

"You know what I'm talking about." Dirk said, "Don't do that. What were you thinking?" Dirk sounded angry in a way that gave away his true feelings. He wasn't angry, and he didn't understand why he wasn't angry.

Hal, of course, caught on immediately.

"I was thinking that you had a shit day, and the conversation with Jake was unsatisfactory." Hal shrugged, "I figured you needed the attention from someone who actually knows you and cares about your needs."

Dirk's eyes narrowed, and he took a long drink of his water instead of answering. He swallowed thickly, and Hal watched the movements of Dirk’s throat with careful attention to detail.

Hal gave no external tell to his feelings, but seeing Dirk here now? Minutes after hearing his gasps and moans from the rooftop?

Dirk was striking.

"So, what’s your goal?" Dirk started, "What do you want-"

"What do you want?" Hal interrupted, stepping closer to Dirk, "You knew it was me. You knew it was me the moment the toy didn't stop when you fumbled your way to the power button. You called me in here to "bring you water," which we both know you could have gotten yourself, and Dirk? Hate to point this out, but you left the toy on display for me to see. You're not that sloppy."

Dirk's face turned a bright pink at the accusation, and he stood, crowding into Hal's space.

"I want you to tell me what your end goal is." Dirk said stiffly, "I'm with someone, Hal. We can't do shit like that." Dirk's eyes dropped very subtly to Hal’s lips, just enough for Hal to notice.

"Then I should go, right?" Hal said, his voice dropping to a low croon, "I should turn around, walk out of the room. I should leave you here, right?"

Dirk opened his mouth, and no sound came out. Several moments passed in silence.

Finally, Hal scoffed.

"Okay, if that's what you want. I'll leave you alone." Hal said, turning to leave the room.

Dirk's hand caught his arm, and Hal stopped.

"Wait." Dirk said softly.

"Hmm?" Hal turned his head, smirking, "What is it?"

Dirk hesitated, his grip tightening on Hal's arm.

Hal huffed a laugh, turning to face Dirk directly.

"I'm not going to say it for you." Hal said, reaching to tuck a strand of Dirk’s hair out of his face, "You're hesitating. You need to tell me what you want, Dirk."

Dirk felt his face warm as Hal said his name, a shiver running down his back to pulse between his legs. He opened his mouth, then cleared his throat, uncharacteristically flustered.

"Dude," Dirk sighed, "I can't- I don't-"

"Then don't." Hal said plainly, "Just let go of my arm, and I'll walk out."

Dirk looked at where his hand was resting, holding onto Hal's arm firmly. He hesitated, then locked eyes with Hal again.

"I don't want to do that," Dirk said, stepping closer to Hal.

Hal smirked, stubbornly refusing to move closer or acknowledge Dirk’s eyes glancing at his lips again. "What do you want, Dirk?" Hal asked casually.

Dirk slid his arm slowly up Hal's, resting two fingers against his phantom pulse point. He sighed, then looked into Hal's eyes again.

"Kiss me." Dirk said softly.

Hal hummed, "Sorry, you still sound unsure."

"Fucking- ugh, Hal. Hal, I want… I want you to kiss me." Dirk said more firmly.

Hal felt the echoing sensation of his heart racing. He didn't expect Dirk to commit to this, but he wasn't going to let the opportunity slip him by. He stepped close to Dirk, reaching to stroke Dirk’s cheek with his thumb as their bodies pressed together.

"I need to know you want this." Hal said, softer this time, "Say please, Dirk. Ask me nicely. Tell me what you want. Tell me, and I'll give it to you."

Dirk focused on his heart racing, the throb between his thighs impossible to ignore or explain away. He gripped the front of Hal's shirt firmly and pulled Hal's face close to his own, his eyes wide with need.

"Fuck you." Dirk said in a breathy voice, "I want you to touch me. Please. I want you to kiss me… I want you to… to do that again."

Hal chuckled, grateful that his artificial skin did not give away his phantom goosebumps. He leaned in close, close enough that the softness of his lips brushed against Dirk’s.

"You want me to do what?" Hal said teasingly.

Dirk swallowed thickly, the rush of Hal's closeness and the ache of his arousal muffling his senses. "Make me cum." Dirk said softly, his gasp swallowed as Hal pressed their lips together.

Hal's kiss was gentle for the first few moments, and then it was consuming. Hal wrapped his arms around Dirk, sliding his palms down his back to cup Dirk's ass as their kiss burned between them. Dirk groaned softly, wrapping his arms around Hal's neck and meeting Hal's movements beat for beat.

Hal growled low in his throat, lifting Dirk and nearly throwing him onto the bed. Without wasting a moment, his lips were back on Dirk’s skin, pulling soft gasps and whines from Dirk’s throat as he was peppered with kisses and bites.

"Dirk." Hal said breathily, "Are you too sensitive?"

To emphasize the question, Hal pressed his fingertips against the swell of Dirk’s clit through his sweatpants.

Dirk shuddered, squirming and panting heavily. "No." He said, "It's sensitive but… fuck, please don't stop."

Hal's smirk was devious and nearly playful, and he hooked his fingers under the elastic of Dirk's pants.

"I've made a lot of changes to my body, Dirk." Hal said in a sultry whisper, slowly pulling the sweatpants down Dirk's thighs, "I've added a few new features. I can give you whatever you want. I can fuck you slow and deep if you'd like. Or, if you'd rather top me… I can bend over for you. I can give you whatever you ask, just…"

Hal paused, his red eyes scanning down Dirk’s body to the apex of his thighs. Dirk squirmed under the heat of Hal's gaze, his skin erupting into goosebumps as Hal licked his lips slowly.

"Just… let me taste you, Dirk." Hal said through a sigh.

Dirk lifted his hips off of the bed, his legs falling open automatically despite the blush across his face.

"Do you need me to walk you through it?" Dirk offered, his voice strained.

Hal considered the question, sliding his palms from Dirk’s knees along his sensitive inner thighs.

"No. I just need you to let your body show me what you like." Hal said, "I want to hear your sweet little moans. I want to feel you twitching and squirming."

Dirk felt a shiver run through him, and he nodded.

"I… I'll need to keep it down, anyway. In case Jake wakes up." Dirk said. He didn't have time to process the shame he felt at the thought of Jake catching him before Hal placed a gentle kiss on the inside of his thigh.

Dirk squirmed and gasped, a shudder pulling down his back as Hal kissed and nibbled up both of his thighs. Dirk felt his cunt clenching, and he whimpered as Hal passed over his clit for a third time without offering him the slightest relief.

"Hal…" Dirk whined, "Please, just… please."

Hal hummed, running his tongue slowly along Dirk’s thigh again. Dirk huffed, and gripped the back of Hal's head firmly.

"Hal." He said, his voice tight with need, "I asked nicely."

Dirk pressed the back of Hal's head, guiding him towards his clit.

"Please, Hal, I… I want to feel your tongue. Here." Dirk said, and Hal finally obliged, dragging his tongue slowly from the mess of Dirk’s hole across his clit.

Dirk sighed a moan, his thighs trembling with the effort of staying still. Hal began a steady pace of long, languid licks along the length of Dirk’s slit. He paused at the swell of Dirk’s clit, swirling his tongue around the bud before pulling it into his mouth.

Dirk’s mouth fell open, his moan turning to a desperate whimper as his fingers gripped Hal's hair. He was already close, the scandal of what they were doing shooting through him like electric heat.

Hal sucked and licked at Dirk’s clit until Dirk's whimpers turned nearly pathetic, and then he pulled his mouth away with a pop.

"Baby boy, you haven't been fucked nearly enough if my tongue can pull you apart this easily." Hal purred, slipping two of his fingers along Dirk’s hole, "What a waste. Do you want me to fix that for you, Dirk?"

Dirk nodded, too blissed out to protect his pride.

Hal looked up at Dirk, taking in his flushed face and lidded eyes, the way his plush lips were parted and his chest was rising and falling with his gasps and whimpers.

A feeling of pride blossomed in Hal's chest. He wanted Dirk to look at him like that forever, desperate and wanting with eyes only for Hal.

He pressed two fingers into Dirk’s cunt, raising an eyebrow at the copious slick and the wet squelch that filled the room.

"I have you fucked up, don't I?" Hal teased, slowly rotating and curling his fingers.

Dirk opened his mouth, moaning instead of speaking. The slow movements had Dirk lingering so close to the edge he couldn't bring himself to speak, save for a desperate "Fuck, please, Hal…"

Hal smirked, moving so his chin met his palm and dragging his tongue over the head of Dirk’s clit. He matched the slowness of his fingers, relishing the pathetic whimpers as Dirk gripped at his hair to urge him on.

Hal heard a door open in the house, and he listened carefully as Jake left his bedroom. Dirk was either too gone to notice, or too angry to care, but Hal did him the great courtesy of slowing to a near stop with both his fingers and his tongue.

Dirk squirmed, trying to muffle the whine in his throat even as his cunt clenched desperately around Hal's fingers.

"Don't stop." Dirk hissed, his next thought interrupted by a knock at the guest room door.

Hal's eyes sparked a mischievous red, and he locked his gaze with Dirk’s. "Don't stop?" His voice box whispered around his tongue, "Okay, Dirk. Whatever you say."

Dirk tried weakly to protest, his focus immediately shattered as Hal resumed his torturous pace. Kitten licks and sloppy kisses across the throb of his clit, the delicate and miserable slowness of fingers against his G-spot.

Dirk was fucked up by the time Jake knocked again.

"Yes?" Dirk said, sounding irritated as his fingers laced in Hal's hair again. His back arched off of the bed, and he began to grind his clit against Hal's tongue.

"I'm… I wanted to tell you, I'll be back in the morning." Jake said, sounding quieter than usual.

Hal felt a spark of indignant rage, irritated that Jake had imposed himself just to announce another impending absence. He responded by sucking Dirk’s clit into his mouth, and swirling his tongue in sloppy circles around it.

"Okay, goodnight." Dirk said dismissively, throwing his head back in silent scream. His voice was surprisingly steady, though he was fortunate enough that he didn't need to test it again. Jake walked away, and Hal chuckled against Dirk’s pussy.

"Naughty boy," Hal said, his voice box pulling a vibration through his mouth even as his tongue continued its messy thrashing, "Talking to him through the door made you so tight. Should we call him back?"

Dirk gasped a "No," even as his cunt clenched and gushed slick around Hal's fingers.

"I'm not convinced, but I want you to myself. Cum for me, Dirk. Let me feel you cum." Hal encouraged, "Be a bad boy for me, cum on my face."

Dirk gripped Hal's hair to the point of discomfort, clapping his free hand over his mouth as he arched off of the bed. His orgasm was intense, made more so by Hal giving him small licks and kisses through the aftershocks.

Once Dirk had fallen limp against the mattress, Hal pulled away, slick dripping from his chin and fingers. He turned his head to rest against Dirk's thigh, sighing deeply.

"Status?" Hal asked, his tone uncharacteristically soft.

Dirk gave him a thumbs up, running his fingers through Hal's hair to gently stroke his scalp.

"Good boy." Dirk said, "You did a good job."

Hal was grateful that his skin didn't give away his blush. He leaned into Dirk’s touch, too pleased with himself to quip anything snarky back at Dirk’s praise.

"I'll get you cleaned up." Hal said after several minutes, and he stood to clean himself off.

Once he was sure that Dirk was clean and comfortable, settled in on fresh sheets and dozing, Hal moved to leave the room. He didn't want to stick around for the moment Dirk’s shame caught up with him.

"Wait," Dirk's sleepy voice called to him, "Stay."

Hal stopped in his tracks, his phantom heart doing a flip in his chest. He chose not to question it, to take the few moments before Dirk changed his mind for himself.

Hal settled in beside Dirk, pulling him close to his chest and sliding his fingers down Dirk’s back.

Dirk relaxed against him, the room filling quickly with soft coos as he drifted off to sleep in Hal's arms.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four

Dirk woke in an empty bed.

By the time his eyes began to flutter open, his hands were already outstretched, searching for Jake beside him.

Or Hal beside him.

He sighed, still dozing, and pulled a pillow against his chest instead.

Dirk tried to will himself back to sleep, to push down the bubbling shame he felt after what he and Hal had done. He tossed and turned, but the chill of the fresh sheets against his bare skin was a painful reminder that he, in his desperation and anger, had just fucked around on the love of his life.

With his best friend.

He rolled again, sweat beading on the nape of his neck as his stress built in his chest.

With a scoff, Dirk pulled himself upright. There was no chance he would be sleeping again any time soon.

He stood, looking around the room for his soiled clothes, when his eyes landed on a pile of folded laundry. A shirt, fresh boxers, and jeans had been placed on the end table for him. He walked across the room slowly, his heart twisting as he considered the implications.

Had Jake come home and done this? Jake could be downstairs right now, planning to leave as soon as Dirk was awake. Jake must have heard Dirk's moaning, he must know what Dirk had done.

Or, alternatively… Hal had brought these clothes. This was more likely, considering Jake would never think to check in on Dirk or bring him clothes like this, but this possibility brought little comfort. The domestic affection from Hal was so foreign, especially considering the circumstances.

Hal should be berating him. Mocking Dirk for giving in so easily, for being so desperate and disgusting that he was willing to beg Hal to touch him with hardly any persuasion. Why would Hal bring him fresh clothes?

Dirk clenched his jaw, and pulled the clothes on quickly. He focused instead on Evelyn. She was surely awake by now, and would need breakfast and a bath. She would want to watch as Dirk worked on his latest project with her, and offer her insight on the finer points of robotics. Then, around lunch time, she would start to ask for Jake.

"When will Papa be home?"

Normally, thoughts of Evelyn would soothe his anxieties, but the thought of Jake made his heart ache.

Jake, who loved their daughter so much, who held her and soothed her through fevers and nightmares. Who was so full of life and wonder, and passed that zest for life on to their daughter. Dirk finished getting dressed, a feeling of dread and regret washing over him like lukewarm rain.

What had he done? How could Hal let him do this? Hal should have been disgusted with him, should have scolded him or laughed at him for getting so worked up he had to fuck himself in the guest room when he was too angry to let Jake have his way with him.

Why did Hal encourage him?

Dirk made his way to Evelyn’s room, stopping in the hallway when he realized she wasn't in bed. She must be downstairs already. He made his way down the steps, rubbing his face and trying to ease his tangled emotions before greeting his daughter for the day. He stopped on the bottom step as he heard voices.

"That's very good, Evelyn," Hal's voice said from the living room, "Your Lego citizens will really have their work cut out for them at first, but a decentralized government seems to be best for a nation like yours."

"Thank you!" Evelyn chimed.

Dirk walked into the living room, his brow furrowing as he took in the situation in front of him.

Evelyn was awake, her hair was wet and braided down her back. She was wearing a fresh outfit for the day, and the house smelled faintly of pancakes.

Dirk stepped quietly into the kitchen, finding the space clean and tidy. The dishwasher was running, and his daily medications were on the counter already.

He walked over to the counter, keeping his arms loosely crossed over his middle.

"Hey," Hal's voice came from behind him, "Your breakfast is in the microwave. Evelyn wants to go to Rose's for a cousin play date, Rose said she's down to host a kid sleepover. Any objections?"

Dirk didn't turn to look at him, trying to process what he was seeing.

"Yeah, sure." He said after a few seconds, "Jake home?"

Hal paused. "No." He said, scoffing, "You're welcome, by the way."

Dirk turned to look at Hal, finding that he'd already turned to leave. Dirk didn't follow him. Instead he took his meds from the counter, dry swallowing the pills before walking to the fridge to chase them with water.

Jake hadn't come home. Of course Jake hadn't come home.

Dirk walked back into the living room, swallowing his anger as Evelyn ran over to him.

"Hi Dad!" She said, "I have made a lot of changes in my kingdom!"

"Oh? Without consulting your advisors?" Dirk said, sitting on the ground beside her Lego castle.

For the next hour, Dirk explored the political intricacies of the Evedom, assisting Evelyn with her new policies until it was time for her to leave for her visit with the Maryam-Lalonde family.

Dirk met Rose in the driveway, where she was waiting with a small smile for Evelyn.

"Hello, Queen Evelyn." Rose said politely, "Your cousins are tickled to see you. Do you have everything?"

Evelyn babbled excitedly about everything she'd packed before giving her Dad a big hug and climbing into Rose's car.

Rose and Dirk exchanged a polite nod of a greeting, and Rose paused once she got a good look at his face. Her eyes narrowed, and the corners of her mouth pulled into a small frown.

"You know, if you need me, I'm but a call away. We really do need to catch up." She said in a tone that implied Dirk had no choice.

"Heard. I'll be at your favorite coffee shop with bells on ready to receive every missed kid photo. We can exchange horror stories about time outs and eating vegetables." Dirk said in a neutral tone.

Rose hummed, offering Dirk a curt nod before saying her goodbyes and driving off.

Dirk watched the car pull out of the driveway, his feelings tangling as his daughter left. Jake still wasn't home, but Hal was. Hal had gotten out of bed early, woken Evelyn and started her day with a shower and breakfast, sorted out Dirk’s meds for him, even made him breakfast (though Dirk didn't eat it.)

Why?

Dirk didn't understand why Hal was being so gentle with him. There must be some ulterior motive.

Dirk sighed, his frustration coming to a boil. He didn't go back inside, instead he walked down the driveway to the sidewalk. He walked for several minutes, his mind racing with the frustration and confusion he felt.

A few blocks down the road, Dirk walked into a convenience store. He offered a half-nod to the cashier, with whom he'd developed a rapport over the last few months, and began to pace up and down the aisles.

He was brooding. His feelings of rejection were still fresh with Jake’s obvious dismissal of him, and his feelings of distrust were fresh and tender with Hal’s suspicious kindness this morning. The emotions were bubbling and burning in him, morphing together into anger and aggravation.

Dirk purchased a few snacks, and a pack of cigarettes before he began his walk home. He fished a cigarette from the pack as he ran through the last two days in his head, his jaw clenching and his brow furrowed.

Dirk hadn't smoked in a long time. He'd smoked heavily before getting pregnant, quitting the moment he and Jake had purchased the pregnancy test. He hadn't touched a pack since.

Now, though? Evelyn was safe, and he was free to make his own choices with his body.

He lit the cigarette, the routine soothing his frustration as he made his way home. He smoked through the first by the time he made it home, lighting a second as he sat down on the front porch steps.

Dirk pulled his phone from his pocket, finding several messages waiting for him.

AR: Did you leave?

AR: Your truck is here, so I imagine you're coming back soon. I'll busy myself like a good little housewife for you. Frilly apron when?
AR: You fucker. You didn't eat the breakfast I made for you? I slaved my hot robo-ass off making you pancakes and you didn't even eat them?
AR: You'd think I'd earn some fucking appreciation in this house, all things considered. No worries, I'll find a way to extract an apology from you for wasting my time.

Dirk rolled his eyes, scoffing and closing Pesterchum. He began to scroll absently through a video app as he smoked, irritated by Hal's messages.

A short while (and several cigarettes) later, the tension had eased in Dirk’s chest and he'd made his way back inside. Hal had cleaned his plate from the microwave.

Dirk walked through the kitchen, deliberately not thinking about Hal or Jake as he browsed for snacks. Smoking had cracked into his appetite, if only barely, and he didn't want to ruin it with confusion or guilt.

"Hey." Hal's voice came from behind him, "My pancakes weren't good enough for you?"

Dirk’s shoulders tensed as he was startled, the irritation returning to him all at once.

"I didn't ask you to cook for me." Dirk growled, opening the pantry.

Hal raised an eyebrow, "No shit, asshole. I was doing something nice for you."

"I don't understand why." Dirk said.

Hal scoffed, "Yeah, it was probably pretty fucking jarring to have someone identify and tend to one of your needs, wasn't it, Dirk? Is that why you're being a dick? You’re pissed off because I took one single task off of your to-do list after months of you handling shit alone?"

Dirk grit his teeth and turned to glare at Hal.

"What do you want?" Dirk growled, "Why are you acting like this shit is normal? Why are you acting like any of this is normal? You're never this nice to me. You don't do shit for me, like cook for me or portion my meds. What is your goal? What are you trying to do?"

Hal blinked, and for a split second he appeared struck before his glare sharpened and he snarled.

"Oh, I'm sorry, does my doting not do it for you? You'd prefer I treat you like shit? Is that what you're comfortable with?" Hal stepped closer to Dirk, his tone growing steadily more angry, "You’re okay with me going down on you, but I give you your fucking meds and that’s too intimate? You're seriously pissed at me for cooking you breakfast after what we did last night?"

Dirk squared his shoulders, lifting his chin in challenge as Hal approached.

"I don't fucking understand you!" Dirk snapped, "You shouldn't be rewarding that, Hal. You shouldn't- I don't get why- ugh!"

Hal paused, then he scoffed an indignant laugh.

"You want me to punish you?" Hal accused, "Is that it, Dirk? You feel so guilty and ashamed that you want me to reprimand you? Fuck, if me being nice to you has you feeling so alienated, maybe I'll skip the punishment and just leave you alone for a few months. That seems to be your preference, right? You want me to walk out on you like Jake did?"

"Fuck you! Don't you dare throw that in my face!" Dirk began to raise his voice, his emotions getting the best of him, "You think that's fucking funny? You think it's funny that he just- that Jake just-"

Dirk looked away, his face twisted with hurt and anger.

Hal made a frustrated noise, shaking his head in disbelief before stepping closer into Dirk’s space. He gripped one of Dirk’s shoulders firmly, turning him to look in his face.

"I can't fucking stand you." Hal said, his voice low and dangerous, "You're buying into Jake's bullshit so much you won't even accept your best friend treating you with basic respect and a shred of dignity. You're pathetic. You're making yourself so small, like you're nothing but Jake’s scraps. It's disgusting."

Dirk felt a cold chill go through him at Hal's words, and he pushed Hal away with both hands. Hal growled and shoved Dirk roughly into the kitchen counter, pinning him against the solid wood harshly by the waist.

Dirk struggled and swore, his protests interrupted by a whine as Hal's grip tightened to a painful degree on his hips.

"Is that what you want?" Hal growled, his voice angry, and laced with emotional pain, "You want me to hurt you, Dirk? I wanted to be-... I wanted to treat you better. I wanted to be fucking nice to you. I wanted to be better than Jake for you. But, fuck it. You want me to break you? Turnabout is fair play."

Dirk's eyes widened at the implications, and he opened his mouth to protest. No sound made it through his lips, his eyes locking with Hal’s sharp red glare.

For a brief moment, a spark of fear shot through Dirk. Hal looked enraged, and with his fingers digging into Dirk’s skin, he was unpredictable.

Hal's eyes scanned Dirk's face as several moments passed between them, the only sounds were the soft whimpers and heavy breaths of Dirk as his discomfort and panic increased.

Slowly, Hal loosened his grip, his expression softening slightly.

"The safe word is LOTAK." Hal said, his voice softer as he searched Dirk’s face for protest.

Dirk’s heart was pounding, but part of him wanted nothing more than for Hal to hurt him again. To dig into his skin and bruise him, to match his skin with the way he felt inside.

"Fuck you." Dirk growled, gripping the front of Hal's shirt and pulling him with enough force that the seams began to snap, "Fuck your safe word. Shut up and fucking break me."

Hal huffed an angry laugh and released one hand from Dirk’s waist, trailing it up his chest to brush across his cheek.

"I will." Hal said softly, tracing down Dirk’s jaw, "I promise."

Chapter Text

Chapter Five

The silence was daunting.

Dirk was sitting on the edge of his bed, the bed he shared with Jake, quiet and waiting. His feet were hanging above the floor, and he was pulling at a thread on the comforter beneath him.

Hal was, presumably, somewhere in the house. He had instructed Dirk to wait, to sit still on the bed and be patient.

Dirk was doing exactly that.

His hips were sore, small bruises pushing to the surface of his skin in the shapes of Hal's fingers. His throat was sore, and Dirk tentatively brought his hand from the bed to trace along the tenderness there.

He played through what had happened in the kitchen on repeat.

Hal, after promising to break him, had wrapped his hand around Dirk’s throat. It was gentle at first. Dirk had squirmed and protested against the sharp edges of the counter, earning him bruises along his hips and the firm grasp of Hal's hand around his throat.

When Hal kissed him, it was gentle and sweet. So sweet it had made Dirk nauseous. Hal's synthetic lips were plush, his tongue soft and curious as he explored Dirk’s mouth with a slowness that made Dirk’s stomach flip.

The stark contrast between the kiss and Hal's grip around his throat had left Dirk panting and lightheaded, but he obediently climbed the stairs to the room when Hal instructed him to do so.

Now, Dirk was shifting uncomfortably on the bed, the fabric of his boxers cold for the mess he'd made in them.

Five minutes of kissing and groping had left him painfully wanting for touch, and Dirk was sick to his stomach with how desperate he was. How pliable, how obedient, how disloyal and how uncaring he was for what he was doing to Jake.

Five minutes passed, each second dragging by molasses slow. Then ten, and Dirk began to grow restless.

Would Jake be home soon? Dirk had left his phone downstairs, and he wasn't allowed to leave the room. Was Hal even here anymore, or had he left the house for Dirk to deal with his own mess?

As Dirk contemplated getting up, the door to his bedroom opened. Hal stood in the doorway holding a black case at his side.

Hal said nothing as he entered the room, his silence sending goosebumps along Dirk’s skin.

Hal crossed the room to deposit the water on the side table, on Jake’s side of the bed. He laid the case down on the mattress, and lifted his eyes to study Dirk.

Dirk’s chest was rising and falling with his heavy breaths, the sound of his elevated heart rate filling Hal’s sensors. His face was flushed, and his expression was forced into a scowl.

Despite his bitter glare, Dirk’s true feelings were transparent to Hal.

His feelings were always transparent to Hal.

Dirk’s eyes softened under Hal's gaze, giving away his curiosity and desire. Dirk wanted Hal to touch him, to break the tension and punish him.

But Hal hadn’t promised to punish him.

Hal promised to break him.

Hal circled the bed again, returning to Dirk and standing bare inches in front of him. He reached towards Dirk’s face, deliberately slow. The idea of Dirk flinching now made Hal's echo of a heart twist.

Instead, Hal placed two fingers under Dirk’s chin, lifting his face to study the blooming bruises across his throat. Hal hummed a noncommittal noise, gripping Dirk's chin and directing his eyes to look directly into his own.

Hal reached his other hand towards Dirk’s face slowly, the silence between them pulling and swelling and infinite. He traced a gentle touch along Dirk’s jaw, leaning in close to kiss him with the same gentleness he had offered in the kitchen.

Gentle. Loving. Sweet and plush.

Dirk couldn't stand it.

He was trembling a bare few seconds into the kiss, his throat burning with anger. Why wasn't Hal hurting him? He wanted Hal to choke him, to bruise him. Why was Hal doing this?

Dirk’s trembling ended with a shudder as Hal pushed his tongue into his mouth, the same gentleness pulling a quiet moan from Dirk’s throat. Hal moved his hands to rest on either side of Dirk’s face, holding him as if he would break under rougher treatment.

The kiss was so careful and intimate that Dirk felt dizzy, his pulse gathering a heat that pooled in his mind and between his legs. He felt exposed and raw, desperate and vulnerable as Hal guided him onto his back with the barest pressure on his chest.

Dirk offered no resistance, allowing Hal to position him at the center of the bed. Hal never broke the kiss for longer than a moment, lavishing Dirk’s lips with softness.

It took bare minutes for Dirk to fall limp into the mattress, any resistance or defiance dissipated as Hal kissed him breathless. When Dirk’s soft moans and whimpers grew louder, Hal broke the kiss, leaning his forehead into Dirk’s.

Hal watched Dirk’s face, how his lidded eyes begged him for more, how his parted lips were slick with spit and panting for air.

Dirk was beautiful.

Hal slid one hand down Dirk’s side with a soft touch that sent a tremble through him.

"You taste like cigarettes." Hal's voice filled Dirk’s ears, his tone low and unreadable, "Take off your clothes."

Dirk didn't process at first that Hal was giving him instructions. He was focused on the inches between them, the heat pulsing down his body to the throb between his thighs.

Hal allowed a few beats of silence, but when Dirk didn't obey the instructions, he brought his hand from Dirk’s hip to wrap around his throat. The pressure was slight, a quiet warning.

"Dirk," Hal said, firm but quiet, "I want you to take off your clothes."

The fingers digging into the bruises across his throat made Dirk shiver, and he nodded.

Hal released his hold, pulling himself upright to allow space for Dirk to strip. Hal sat back on his heels, the loss of contact reluctant and cold.

"You're so wet I could feel it through your pants." Hal said in the same gentle tone, "Strip. I want to see your shame, Dirk. Show me how bad you want me to touch you. Show me how desperate you are."

Dirk's voice caught in his throat with a whimper.

Hal wasn't bruising him. Wasn't slapping him. Wasn't injuring him.

But Hal was still hurting him, making him feel disgusting and reminding Dirk that Hal didn't need to bruise him. He was pathetic without even the illusion of force, and it bruised Dirk far deeper than his skin.

Dirk lifted himself from the mattress, still silent as he pulled his shirt over his head. Hal didn't direct his pace, didn't offer any further instruction as Dirk laid himself bare beneath him.

His shirt was the first to go, revealing the goosebumps and hardening nipples beneath. Then his sweatpants, and the flush of red along his thighs.

Finally, as Dirk began to remove his boxers, Hal spoke. He said a single word.

"Slowly."

Dirk’s heart was pounding, and he obeyed, hooking his thumbs into the elastic of his boxers and sliding them off of his hips with the same slowness Hal had used to kiss him.

The bruises on his hips were a dull blue, blooming into something darker as time passed. The trail of dark blond starting at Dirk’s navel led to a patch of hair, and beneath that was the pulsing pink of Dirk’s clit.

Dirk pulled his boxers over his knees, a bridge of slick stretching and snapping from the fabric.

Naked and exposed, Dirk shivered as the cold of the room washed over his heated flesh. Hal's gaze was piercing and intense, taking in every inch and curve of Dirk’s body.

Hal didn't move. He simply sat on his heels, and watched Dirk.

"Hal?" Dirk finally spoke, his voice small and confused.

"I'm waiting for you to show me." Hal explained patiently, "Show me how much you want me, Dirk."

Realization washed over Dirk, and he swallowed thickly. His hands were trembling, but his desperation won over his shame with no contest. He brought his hands down his sides, his eyes locked with Hal’s as he reached the dripping mess of his cunt.

Hal hummed his approval, shifting to sit flat with one knee pulled lazily to his chest. His impassive body language made Dirk feel even lower, sending a pulse to meet his fingers as he spread himself for Hal.

Dirk let his legs fall open, his fingers spreading the lips of his pussy to reveal the thick drip of slick leaking from his hole.

"Good. Show me more." Hal said, reaching for the case beside them on the bed and pulling it closer without looking away from Dirk.

Dirk’s face was flushed red, his heart racing and his stomach twisting with shame. He brought two fingers to rest at the head of his clit, a pitiful whimper falling from his lips as he began to stroke himself.

Dirk’s stomach was twisting, his head feeling fuzzy as his desire and shame meshed together in his mind. He was desperate to be touched, for Hal to see him and touch him and fuck him. He wanted it so badly, his skin was burning with it. But he felt disgusting, spreading himself for Hal inches away from Jake's place in their bed.

Dirk’s desperation won, as it always did, and within a few moments the room was full of the wet sounds of his fingers against his cunt.

Hal didn't look away as he opened the case and retrieved something Dirk couldn't see. Hal broke eye contact with Dirk, with Dirk’s messy fingers and desperate eyes, only long enough to shuck his shirt and attach something between his legs.

"Stop." Hal said as Dirk’s moans grew louder.

Dirk stopped his movements, holding his fingertips against his twitching clit and whimpering softly.

"Why?" Dirk said through his panting, "Hal… Hal, I need you to touch me. Please."

Hal couldn't help the smirk pulling at his lips. Dirk was begging already, no instruction given. Only his own wants guiding his actions.

"I thought you wanted me to hurt you?" Hal said, shifting forward to lazily trace his fingertips along Dirk’s thighs.

Dirk’s skin erupted into goosebumps, and he shivered.

"I… I do." Dirk confessed.

"Move your hands. Hold your thighs open." Hal said, shifting onto his knees.

Dirk obeyed right away, whining softly at the loss of stimulation. His clit was throbbing and pulsing between his legs, slick dripping onto his bed.

Jake’s bed.

Dirk hooked his hands behind his knees, pulling his legs back and presenting himself for Hal.

Hal felt a thrill shoot through him, scraping against the dread he felt for what he was going to do to Dirk. He didn't want to hurt Dirk. He didn't want to punish him for the crime of heartbreak, but if anyone knew what Dirk needed right now…

It was Hal.

It was always Hal.

"Good boy." Hal praised, reaching beside them to pull something else from the case, "Now, Dirk, tell me what you want."

Dirk was too lost in his desire to think straight, and he spent a moment panting as he processed the question.

"I want you to hurt me. I want you to fuck me." Dirk begged, pulling his knees towards his chest.

"What’s your safe word?" Hal asked, the crinkle of plastic under his voice.

Dirk couldn't see what Hal was doing, and he was too blissed out to care.

"It's… it's LOTAK." Dirk answered.

"Good." Hal said, placing a cigarette between his lips, "Why did you start smoking again, Dirk?"

Dirk's eyes went wide as he watched Hal flick a lighter, pulling the smoke into the mechanics of his ventilation system.

"I… I don't know." Dirk said honestly, "I just.. I wanted a release."

"Hm." Hal hummed, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, "I want you to quit. I'm the only person allowed to hurt you now, Dirk. Even you don't have that privilege. Understood?"

Dirk watched as Hal lowered the cigarette towards his legs, fear and confusion boiling in his head.

"I asked you if you understand." Hal scolded, reaching his free hand between Dirk’s legs to grip his clit roughly between his fingers.

Dirk gasped and yelped loudly, the sudden pressure sending a jolt through him as his hips bucked. Hal gripped his clit harder, raising a disapproving eyebrow when Dirk didn't answer.

"Yes, yes, fuck! Fuck, I understand!" Dirk nearly sobbed, his hips rocking and desperation flooding in his chest.

"Good." Hal said, loosening his grip and beginning to stroke Dirk firmly and slowly.

Dirk fell to pieces, straining to hold his legs back as he moaned and gasped through Hal's touch.

"What’s your safe word?" Hal asked again, circling Dirk’s clit faster.

"L-LOTAK." Dirk whined, slick beginning to gush from his hole as he came closer to his peak.

"You want me to hurt you?" Hal asked in the same gentle, warm tone.

"Please." Dirk begged, throwing his head back in a loud moan.

"Cum for me. Make a mess, Dirk. Cum for me, and I'll fuck you the way you want. Like a toy." Hal said sweetly.

Dirk's fingers were digging into his thighs. He was trembling and gasping, his back arching off of the bed as he began to fall over the edge.

Suddenly, a white-hot pain shot through him, the crack and sizzle of a burn sounding from somewhere near Dirk's right thigh. The ache of the cigarette radiated through his leg, through his cunt, through his stomach, and he broke and crashed into his orgasm like a wave against sharp rocks.

His mess gushed from his hole, staining Jake’s bed and mixing with the fallen ashes below his thigh.

Hal held the cigarette against his skin until the glowing red ember was out, flicking it unceremoniously somewhere in the room as Dirk came down from his high.

Dirk was whimpering, his legs falling to the bed as tears rolled down his face. The sting and throb of the burn made his thighs twitch and ache. Hal pulled himself up to lean over Dirk, pushing between his legs and hovering over him to search his face.

"Do you know your safe word?" Hal asked.

Dirk nodded, the adrenaline and endorphins coursing through him. He reached his arms up to wrap around Hal's neck, pulling him in for a desperate and tearful kiss.

Hal returned the kiss, slipping his tongue into Dirk’s mouth. The gentleness was falling away into something darker. Hal felt possessive, he felt guilty for hurting Dirk and painfully proud for making him cum so intensely.

Hal felt everything in his chest at once. Pride, guilt, shame, love, jealousy, all for Dirk.

Everything was for Dirk.

He pushed their bodies closer, the artificial cock he'd attached pulsing with red light as the touch sensors came to life. Hal groaned softly in his throat, grinding the head of his cock against Dirk’s sensitive clit.

Dirk whimpered, his legs twitching as they attempted to close around Hal to stop the overstimulation.

Hal didn't stop. He pushed the kiss further, biting at Dirk’s lip before his tongue forced its way into Dirk’s mouth again.

Hal shifted downward slightly, hitching his cock into Dirk’s soaking cunt.

Dirk moaned into Hal's mouth, lifting his hips to meet him as Hal bottomed out with no resistance.

Hal wasted no time with softness. He had promised to fuck Dirk like a toy, and he did, his pace brutal and punishing.

Hal broke the kiss to lean back on his knees, gripping Dirk's waist hard enough to cover him in fresh, dark bruises.

Dirk was falling apart, his gasps and moans completely incoherent.

"Plea- fuck- Yes- mo-more- Hal-!" Dirk managed to spit out as Hal pushed his legs back.

The ache of the burn was fresh, keeping Dirk's nerves alive as Hal fucked him into Jake’s bed.

Hal reached to grip Dirk’s face, holding eye contact as his hips snapped harder and deeper.

"Tell me you love me." Hal ordered, gripping Dirk's waist hard enough to pull a yelp from Dirk.

Dirk was breathless, shocked for a moment with the demand but too blissed to care.

"I-I love you…!" Dirk moaned as he came again, his slick splashing between them and soaking Hal's cock.

It was enough for Hal, and he fell forward to kiss Dirk and fuck him through his own orgasm.

"I love you." Hal whispered into Dirk’s ear.

Hal's hips rocked through the aftershocks as they both came down, shuddering and panting and spent.

Hal pulled out slowly, watching as Dirk's slick dripped onto the bed. A bloom of pride grew in him, knowing that Dirk had made this mess for him.

Dirk sighed as Hal pulled away from him, clenching his jaw as emotions began to swell in his chest. He brought his hands to cover his eyes, tears threatening to spill down his face again.

Hal stood, leaving Dirk alone only briefly while he collected the towels and wet wipes he'd packed in his case. He shifted to lay beside Dirk again, stroking his fingers through his hair and beginning to wipe Dirk clean.

Dirk felt filthy. He felt guilty, and sick, and horribly alone. Hal had done exactly as he asked, but the disgust he had for himself was echoing between them.

Hal let the silence pass, the only sounds being Dirk’s quiet sniffling as Hal tended to his body.

After, with Hal’s attachments tucked away in the case and Dirk bare and decently clean, Hal wrapped both arms around him and pulled Dirk into his chest.

Dirk fell into sobs, the ache of his burn and the radiant glow of his release pulsing through his body. He clung helplessly to Hal, whimpering and crashing hard as "I love you" scorched into his mind.

Hal stroked his hands down Dirk’s back, whispering in his ear.

"You did so good, baby. You did such a good job. You were so obedient and you made me feel so good." Hal praised him, kissing his cheeks gently, "I'm so proud of you."

Dirk trembled as he calmed down, burying his face into Hal's chest and allowing himself to be soothed. He sniffed back his remaining tears, exhaustion overtaking him.

"Do you want to shower now, or after a nap?" Hal asked, running his fingers through Dirk’s hair.

"After." Dirk said, clinging onto Hal and refusing to let go.

"Okay, baby. After." Hal kissed him gently, holding Dirk in a firm embrace as he drifted off to sleep.