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The Film Festival is in full swing. There are numerous rooms set up to accommodate the bustling crowd of filmmakers, film students, tourists, and other visitors for eleven days. Today is day two and one of the aforementioned filmmakers found herself second guessing her choice to come here.
Washington, DC in America is a hotbed of major powers. Political and military power that is. For Rikki, that makes her nervous and uncomfortable. But not because she’s a criminal or a terrorist. No. For the blonde Australian, her anxiety stems for another reason.
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Rikki Chadwick is a mermaid.
Tail and magical powers included. So, being in the heart of the American government makes her uneasy. All it takes is one slip up, one mistake and she’d be whisked away to some lab to be vivisected.
There would be no one to look for her or to ask questions about her disappearance. Her father is all the way in Australia, happily retired, but he doesn't have the means or know how to push for his daughter. Not anymore. He forgets what she looks like, sometimes…
Once, there were three mermaids. Three girls and a magical moment in a magical place that changed everything. But now, there is one. One mermaid and a whole ocean.
She makes do. She lives without direction. But at least, she also lives without fear. She lives on a yacht instead of an apartment on land and goes where the currents take her.
Never staying in one place too long to get attached or grow roots. Always afraid to place her feet completely on land. Permanently.
However, despite her…disadvantage, Rikki has built a reputation for being a capable solo diver. One with the skills to get amazing underwater footage and even reclaiming lost relics. The Australian mermaid has made a lavish living for herself. Luxurious and unchained and fearless and so, so lonely.
But she’s never been one to shy away from the hard things or those feelings that make her want to cry in bed at night. The tears don’t come though. Not really. She knows, one day she will have to make the same choices as her former mermaid friends. The choice to keep going or give it up.
On Mako island, the same place they were turned in the first place, there is a chance to give it up. A special moon phase, where all the planets align and Mako island will take away the magic that it gave. A moon phase that happens once every fifty years. Except, Mako is not the only place in the world to become a mermaid and with that thought, not the only place where becoming one can be undone.
Her friend, Cleo, found one such chance in a cave in Ireland. In the same cave where Bella became a mermaid. Bella, who had a tail since she was a child and who went to the Gold Coast and found girls just like her, gave up her tail, too.
Now, Rikki is the only one left.
The only mermaid out of all of them and she’s sick of the looks of pity from her friends. Pity because she refused to follow them and they feel like she’s fighting a losing battle. Like she’s choosing magic and being a mermaid over the chance at living.
They’ve forgotten that Rikki is a born fighter.
They’ve forgotten that Rikki has always been the strongest and the most dangerous of the mermaids. Rikki fought to find a balance between living on land and at sea and figured it out.
Rikki is a fighter and she has no intention of giving up her tail just because living gets a little hard.
Today, she’s trying to enjoy herself. She’s made a living where she can enjoy being a mermaid and still live life to the fullest.
Unfortunately, five minutes ago, she spotted a familiar face in the crowd and turned around to walk in the opposite direction. Zane Bennett is not a person she wants to see again or the type of company she wants to have for the rest of the week. When she was a teen, she felt connected to him and went into a relationship with him. He was not perfect, she knew that and she cared for him despite his flaws. But, eventually, she got fed up with his jealousy and immaturity.
The problem with breaking up with him came down to one reason: he knew her secret.
He knew she was a mermaid. She’s not had contact in years and out of all the events on the planet, he mysteriously shows up at a film festival? No. She doesn’t believe in coincidences. Zane probably heard about what the other girls did.
She can only guess at why he might want to talk to her, to confirm or deny it. Being a mermaid was part of the reason they broke up. His words still haunt her: ‘I don’t understand why this whole mermaid thing is so important to you. I just want to be with the real you.’
…As if being a mermaid made her separate from who she is as a person. As if being a mermaid made that part of her something Other…
It hurt and while the memory of those words don’t invoke her familiar temper, they showed her just how disjointed they were. If he didn't get it then he won’t get it now, either.
Rikki isn’t interested is hearing what he has to say. The past is just that and Rikki did not get this far by going backwards.
“Rikki!” She pretends she doesn’t hear him. But she knows that won’t stop him for long.
Speeding up won’t help her and would just tip him off that she saw him, that she can hear him. What she needs is a shield. A person who won’t mind helping her out.
She starts to scan the crowd of people, looking for men who are alone and who look like they won’t mind playing knight in shining armor. Americans like that kind of thing, right? There are a couple she spots and dismisses because of one reason or another. A few had rings, others were obviously not interested in her gender, and a few looked like they were talking business.
Rikki did not want to introduce herself to potential clients by hiding from her ex. Her gaze finally lands on one man, who is reading a festival itinerary pamphlet for the day, and from this angle, she didn't see any rings and decided to place her bets on him.
“Rikki!” He’s getting closer and no doubt the only reason he hasn’t blocked her way is because of the crowd. She’s glad for American human traffic right now and reached the American man.
“Hey, do you mind?” She carefully places her hand in the crook of his elbow. “Mind playing pretend with me, that is?”
The man turns to her with a smile like he really was waiting for her, taking her hand from his elbow with his free one and wrapping his now free arm around her waist. Rikki’s hand is brought to his mouth where he places a kiss on her knuckles. The mermaid can’t help but grin. Oh, she got herself a flirty one! And he is very nice looking, too. Short hair, green eyes. Dressed casual and no rings.
“Let me guess, a crazy ex who just happened to be here?”
“I’m thinking more along the lines of, heard I’d be here and is looking to get back together. But really can’t take a hint.”
“So, he’s here intentionally.”
“Unfortunately.” Rikki can’t help but sigh and roll her eyes, annoyed.
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“You sound like the police.”
“That I am.” He leans in close, like he’s going to whisper a secret to her, “Very Special Agent Tony Dinozzo, at your service.”
Ah. A policeman. A very special policemen, too…well. Well.
“Rikki Chadwick. Diver. Ocean filmmaker.”
“And when was the last time you saw your ex, malady?”
“Besides a few minutes ago?” Rikki pretends to think before meeting his gaze, “When we were in high school.”
Pretty Policeman raises both of his brows in surprise and Rikki does not need to be a mind reader to see the disbelief there. The mermaid gets it. That is a long time to not see someone and then to run into them in a place like the film festival. So, she leans closer, copying him and then gets closer, her lips barely brushing against his cheek-
“Rikki!” And there’s Zane, pushing his way past a large cluster of tourists that was unknowingly blocking his sight.
“Hey…” Even after all these years, it's not hard to pick up the jealousy in his face but he tries to hide it. “I thought I saw you.”
“Zane?” The mermaid doesn’t step out of Pretty Policeman’s arms and said policeman lets go of her hand to wrap his other arm around her waist.
“Friend of yours, darling?”
“Yeah,” Rikki slowly, carefully, turns in Tony’s arms. “From back in high school.”
“It’s been a few years, yeah.” Zane, when standing next to her human shield, does not compare to the movie star looking policeman. “We used to date. Zane Bennett, owner of Oneself Marketing.”
Ever the businessman, he reaches out to shake the policeman’s hand. Tony, for his part, is unruffled and unintimidated. His pretty green eyes do take on a sharp edge, like he’s examining Zane and finding all of his faults.
“Tony Dinozzo, NCIS, Navy Criminal Investigation Service. Rikki’s boyfriend.”
“Right, pleasure.” Zane’s reply is as flat as his expression. She cuts in before he can make a scene.
“I didn’t expect to find you someplace like this.”
“I’m here on business and thought I’d stop by, see what all the fuss was about.”
“Well there’s plenty to find.” Tony’s grin is weird, like he wants to laugh and bare his teeth at the same time. “For the owner of a marketing company, there are a few conferences you might be interested in.”
Tony waves the pamphlet in his hand, showing just how many there are for the day. It reminds Rikki which events she wanted to see, too. Events she has no plans to miss worrying about whatever Zane wants to talk to her about.
“Yeah, I’ve got plans to see some of them,” Zane goes from Tony back to Rikki, “but I was thinking we could have lunch. Catch up and all that. For old times’ sake.”
“Unfortunately, we’ve got plans.” Tony hands Rikki the pamphlet and places his hand in his jacket pocket. “And they’re meant for two.”
“I’m sure we can find the time.” Zane mulishly refuses to look at Tony, until the last second. “No one told me you were dating someone.”
“There’s a lot of things I don’t tell the girls. That’s what happens when people drift away.”
“Right.” Zane’s looking at her, staring, trying to find some hint about whatever he’s looking for. She’s hoping there is nothing for him to find. Nothing for him to hope for. “I just heard you all got together, recently. In Ireland.”
“Wow,” she deadpans, “very subtle. I’m sure no one will find that creepy.”
“I do.” Tony’s hand on her hip, tightens just a smudge, before he’s pulling her a little away from Zane and partially hiding her with his own body. “I find that very creepy, actually. Very, very creepy.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.” Zane’s face twists into something like regret and annoyance. “I just meant, I heard you all got together and caught up. I know I made a lot of mistakes when I was with you and just thought we could talk. Fix things and all that.”
“Zane,” Rikki can’t hide her disbelief if she tried. “It’s been years.”
“Yes, I know, but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you.”
“And I appreciate that but I’ve moved on.” Rikki sighs, feeling like a record player. How many times did they have this conversation? And now, here they are, again, having it, again. “And so should you.”
“Rikki-“
But she’s done with this conversation. The mermaid turns around, her hand slipping into the policeman’s, dragging him away. She hopes Zane doesn’t follow. She hopes he stays away but the idea that he won’t, makes her chest tight.
Tony overtakes her stride and leads her to one of the rooms, large but old fashioned. Restored and gorgeous.
“It’s a panel event for classic, black and white films,” Tony tells her, “before films could be cast in color they…”
He starts to babble even more about the history of film, of the old classics and how they blazed a trail for the films of today. Rikki isn’t really listening. She hears him but the rushing anxiety has taken prime place in her ears and her heart.
Rikki wants to hate it, this feeling: fear.
But, she knows fear has its place. For a mermaid, fear reminds her that she needs to survive if she wants to live. It tells her that there are choices she must make if she wants to stay free and safe.
Eventually Rikki sighs, her heart no longer threatening to tear itself out of her chest and finds herself leaning against Tony’s shoulder.
“Sorry about getting you in the middle of that.”
“Not a problem. I’d rather play the protective boyfriend than wonder what if I didn’t.” He leans down a little into her space, “We can go to another film room if you want? Make sure he doesn't follow us.”
“No, that will look too much like running away.” She sighs for what feels like the millionth time. “And if he thinks that then he really will chase me down.”
Rikki straightens from her slouch and glances around for a free seat. Tony, however, is already leading her to the other side of the room, where he snags two seats for them, hugging the end of the aisle and letting Rikki take the seat on the inside. Normally, it wouldn’t be her preferred seat but she likes the feel of Tony shielding her. It gives her the chance to catch her breath and rebuild her guard.
“Do you have any idea what he was talking about?” Tony asks once they sit down. The lights are still on and there are still crowds of people mingling around them. “You don’t have to tell me but it might help. Outside perspective and all.”
“My girlfriends from high school and I got together at this…place in Ireland.” It’s a testament to how rattled Zane’s appearance and words have made her. “It was just us and the water and everything was great…at first.”
She can’t find the words. She never can, not for things that really matter. There is something to being a part of the world and not separated from it, like humans are. They live in it but they don’t feel it, feel the way the planet inhales and exhales through their bones. They can’t feel the fury and joy, intermingled as they are, that make every strand of hair stand on end. They can watch and be entranced but can never, ever get close enough to touch it. Not like Rikki can.
Rikki can never understand why the others would want to give that up, either.
“There was a lot going on and the others made a choice I didn’t agree with.”
“But you didn’t stop them, did you?” Rikki turns away from the front and the crowds of people to look Tony in the eye.
“No.” She agrees. “I didn’t stop them. It was their choice, to walk away from the promise we made to each other, and if that makes them happy, so be it.”
“Did they try to stop you?”
“No.” She can’t help the bitter grin as it spreads along her face. “They’re just worried I’m setting myself up to be alone for the rest of my life.”
“But not you.” He observes, “You don’t regret sticking to your guns.”
“Not a single day goes by that I regret it. Ever.” Rikki still holds his gaze, feeling like looking away would be the same as giving up, like how Cleo and the other girls gave up their tails. “I wouldn’t be where I am today if I did. I’d probably be stuck in a dead end job, wondering how I ended up there, and trying to figure out where to go from there.”
Something flies across the agent’s face, some emotion Rikki can’t really read and doesn’t try to. But she can guess what that emotion might have been.
There’s a power to facing yourself by facing a person instead of a mirror. It’s easy to hide yourself even when you're standing in front of one but a person is harder. You can lie and deflect, bend over backwards to be something you're not if you let yourself go. With a person as a witness, however…
There are only two decisions: accept their judgement for the mask you wear and let no one in or put yourself at constant risk of being hurt or taken advantage of by being yourself without any defense in place.
Rikki, who can’t afford either actions, because she’s not a very good actor and she’s never been one to be so open with random strangers, anyway, walks a tight line between the two.
She can admit that she has a weakness but who doesn’t? She can admit to working on addressing that weakness and being proud to do so because it means she’s growing stronger for it. In this way, there is no ‘mask’ she has to keep up with and for another, she doesn’t tire herself out always being on guard.
Fear is a good test of that line.
Some people have a harder time accepting their fears. They have a hard time facing it, that thing they are so afraid of. There is always something that people regret doing, some act or word that they wish they could take back or change. When she does this, face the person as she tells them that soul aching truth, sometimes they see themselves. But usually, they just run away.
“Our promise to each other was to live our lives without being controlled by our fear.” Rikki pushes herself to say, “Because being afraid can destroy you. Because it’s easy to be too scared to do anything. Too scared to start a business or start a new life. Too scared to tell the truth. It’s easy to be scared because you’re scared of being hurt or left alone.”
Tony stays seated. Like a statue.
“But if you go your whole life being afraid, are you really living?”
“‘You can’t live in fear.’” Tony quotes and she smiles, getting the reference.
“‘Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi.’” Rikki returns, and even though she’s no Jedi, being a mermaid must be a close enough substitute. “The problem happens when the people around you think they know what you’re afraid of and try to make choices for you.”
“Then you start being afraid that the choices you make aren't really yours.”
Rikki is glad she’s still looking at him or she would have missed that realization and understanding expression as it made its way across his face. She wonders briefly, what puzzle he’s managed to solve, just now.
“Bit of a surprise, isn’t it?” She questions rhetorically. It is not her place to question what he’s thinking. “The thing that scares me most isn’t being alone. It’s being surrounded by people who don’t get me. It’s wasting time with people or things that don’t make me happy. I don’t want to live a life of regrets.”
“So you don’t.”
“So I try.” Rikki corrects. “I’m not perfect. But I try not to make choices I’ll regret later.”
“I think that’s all anyone can ask for.”
“Even for yourself, Agent Dinozzo?” Still not pushing but willing to offer the same ear as he did for her.
“I’m…” Tony stops and thinks about his answer, examining her the same way he did Zane earlier.
She waits. He will or he will not answer. The choice is his and his alone. Will he see himself in her reflection? Will he hide away? Will he run from the things he doesn’t want to see and settle for being glad he lent his help?
“Call me Tony,” he settles for saying, “and I’d like to think I’m starting to practice that. Being happy, that is.”
“You have to practice being happy.” She deadpans, making sure her tone isn’t judgmental but still carrying just how much she can’t believe that. “Agent, what the bloody hell?”
“Ah, vacation time,” He gestures to the room, “to recover from so many cases.”
“From seeing the absolute shit that people do to each other you mean?” She says it more like a statement instead of a question.
Rikki can’t help but think of Dr. Denman and Charlotte, who wanted things for themselves and had no care who they hurt to get it. Dr. Denman who wanted awards and accolades for studying mermaids, for discovering mermaids, without a care for the girls she had trapped. The girls she wanted to experiment on.
Charlotte who was once a teenager like them, who gained a tail, too but didn't deserve it. Who proved she didn’t deserve it when she abused her powers to try and prove she was the only girl who was a “real” mermaid. Both didn’t care whose lives they ruined to get what they wanted. Even though Rikki and her friends managed to get through those encounters relatively unscathed and without revealing themselves, that does not mean it couldn’t have been worse. So much worse.
Sometimes, Rikki has nightmares about what exactly could have been and just what the worst outcome would have looked like.
“Yeah.” Tony agrees after a stretch of silence.
“So, tell me again about these old American films of yours.” She can use a break from heavy things, anyway.
Well,” he starts, tone lighter than before. “They’re not mine but…”
The next three days almost fly by them, Tony and Rikki, pretending to be a couple. After the first day, they agree to meet up to spend the rest of the festival together. They spent the first day attending film programs focused on animation and the day after, they went to film events centered on short films before attending an award ceremony.
Day three together saw the pair making an appearance in several workshops and panels. For all three days, they had lunch and dinner together. They talked about the sessions, the films, the Q & A discussions, and eventually, the reasons they were drawn to films in the first place.
For Tony, it was a reminder of the good times he spent with his mother before she died and that morphed into an appreciation for all films. For Rikki, it was the promise of freedom to go wherever she wants, whenever she wants and to share the things she’s seen with others.
Throughout the festival, however, they see Zane. Glimpses and snap shots of him from across a room. Not always in the same place or with the same people but it's a small reminder of why they’re spending so much time together. Fortunately for both of them, the company is pretty great.
So great that they forget themselves. Sometimes. They relax enough to flirt, tease, and banter. However, at the end of the day, they’ve left each other to make their own way back alone. Tony, to his apartment and Rikki, to her boat docked at The Warf.
But today is different. Day six of the festival sees a swell of people in the crowds and many of the topics for the day are about romance. More than on one occasion have Rikki and Tony been mistaken for a true couple. The hand holding certainly doesn’t help.
The thicker crowd also means that Rikki presses herself closer to Tony, to avoid any accidents. The agent is tall and solid, easily meandering through the mass of people.
There is no question that by the end of the day, the tension between them is heavy. When they go to leave, Tony presses a kiss to her knuckles, they linger like that…and then walk away. Passions denied.
Day seven, the crowds have not dispersed or thinned and the two stick together again. Tension that would have exploded last night into a night of heated passion shimmers beneath the surface, banked and stoked. The difference between instant gratification and prolonged happiness.
Tony was burned by his fiancée, left at the altar on their wedding day and abandoned by her just like his father.
Rikki is scared from her time with Zane, breaking up with him, and fearing he would spill her secret in revenge.
They’re too raw to rush into something with another person. It could be good. It could be temporary. It could be great. Could be. Might be. So many possibilities. Did they dare? Should they?
Should they? …maybe just a taste?
When the ceremonies and events for the day are over, Tony and Rikki stay hand in hand, not quite ready to leave.
“I could use an escort to my hotel.” Rikki offers. A branch, an offer, but made without expectations. No pressure or fear of rejection. He will or he won’t and either will be fine by her.
Rikki rented a hotel room for the later half of the film festival, specifically for the half that Rikki would take part in as a presenter and guest speaker. This way she would not worry about being late to her sessions.
“I could go for a walk.” Tony let’s go of her hand and places it within the crook of his elbow, drawing her close. “And where do we venture, malady?”
“The Westin, good sir.” She giggles, glad she checked in this morning.
The hotel is almost as packed as the festival, with an untold number of visitors coming and going.
They walk into the lobby and Tony stays with Rikki as she leads him to the elevator, onto her floor, down the hallway and then to her room door.
“You can walk away,” she says as she turns to face him, “and I won’t be upset. You don’t have to come inside if you don’t want to.”
“And if I want to?”
“Then I would happily invite you inside and offer you some water.” Rikki slides her key card into the door.
“Not coffee?”
“For rigorous activity, it's best to stay hydrated.” The door closes behind them to the sound of Tony’s laughter.
The first round of sex is great, leaves the couple panting and satisfied and after downing a bottle of water, up for round two. It was even better, before exhaustion dragged them into Morpheus' embrace.
Rikki woke up entangled with another person, her head pressed to a man’s strong heartbeat, and arms around her waist, keeping her half sprawled over her partner’s chest. She is relaxed and content. Satisfied. More than satisfied.
She almost wishes this was real.
But as a mermaid, she knows the danger of wishes, and takes this as the fun time it is. Rikki carefully stretches, hand running circles on Tony’s belly but not reaching lower. There were times she didn’t like waking up aroused and she would not make assumptions about Tony.
“Morning,” is Tony’s sleepy greeting.
“Hmm,” she’s still sleepy too, except, “I’m hungry.”
“Ahh, the downfall of many a sleep in days.” The agent grumbles good-naturedly. “Pancakes.”
“Bacon and eggs.” Rikki counters. “Hmm, and juice.”
“My kind of lady.” He rolls to his side and Rikki can’t stop the whine that escapes her throat. “Room service? My treat?”
“You need new clothes.”
“I’ve got it covered.”
“Room service, then.”
Breakfast is fun, even domestic Rikki would dare to say. (She doesn’t). The pretend couple are barely done eating when room service knocks again, this time with a delivery for Tony. A complete change of clothes. Apparently, Tony knows people in DC. (She isn’t surprised, considering he lives and works here).
Eventually, they get ready and head out back to the festival. This is the first day that Rikki will be a presenter. She is introduced by the festival hosts as a world class diver, underwater filmmaker and conservationist.
Rikki delivers her presentation, unworried about Zane or mad scientists. She enjoys sharing what she can from the ocean. A mermaid can go places where humans cannot and see things humans have never even dreamed of. But she has been careful to give footage that just borders on unbelievable. Footage that is still breathtaking and beautiful to see.
Rikki is surprised when Tony stays for the entire panel but also glad. He chose to stay for her.
She tries not to read too much into it.
When they break for lunch and dinner, Tony is there. The mermaid introduces him to several of her own contacts, including the festival director and deputy director. There are other film directors and famous actors, too, that greet the couple. A few even thank Tony for his service because even though he does not serve in the military, his work includes looking out for American troops and their families.
Like this, together and enjoying themselves, they forget that this all started as a means of keeping Zane away. Rikki reaches for Tony’s hand and he reaches back. She’s not sure if it's real or if Tony is still playing the role but she takes what she can get. She lives in the moment.
They spend the night at her hotel room. And the next and the next.
During the day, they enjoy the festival and each other’s company. They attend other events, panels and Q&A sessions, including one documentary on the evolution of police departments around the world.
But like dreams, the dreamers must wake and face the world outside Morpheus domain.
The festival comes to an end and with it, their time together. Tony asks to walk her to her boat and Rikki lets him. They meander The Warf, arm in arm.
Eventually, they come upon Rikki’s own Lorelei, and they stand on the dock, facing each other. Tony’s arms wrapped loosely around her waist.
“This is me.”
“Beautiful.” Tony says while looking her in the eyes. Rikki isn’t sure if he’s talking about her or her boat.
“Tony.” The mermaid starts. “Thank you. I know you probably weren’t expecting to keep some strange woman company-“
“-oh, I am not complaining. Especially when that strange woman turns out to be pretty awesome.” He hesitates for a split second, “…and someone who will make her partner very happy. One day.”
“Well thank you.” Rikki smiles, perhaps a touch too fondly. “And, I have to say that for meeting a total stranger, you are fantastic company. And, despite how we met, I’d like to see more of you.”
”Yeah?” She has no idea why he sounds so surprised. “I mean…”
”I’m not even sure what this is or if this is something we should keep doing but I had fun.”
”No regrets, huh?”
“None. I want to enjoy life, not wait around for it to happen to me. So, if you don’t to hang out or anything-“
”-no. I mean, no, I do.” Tony sighs but still doesn’t let her go quite yet. “We could find out. If that’s something you want.”
“And you?”
“I have no idea what I’m doing.” His grin is more grimace. “But, after all this time, why the hell not? Give it a shot, I mean, we’ve already crossed a few lines playing couple haven’t we?”
”So, if we really want to keep in contact, I should give you my radio number, shouldn’t I?”
”I would like that.”
”So you should come aboard.”
She walks out of his embrace and leads the way inside, where Tony does eventually get that number.
Tony DiNozzo does not believe in fairytales.
No, that’s incorrect.
Tony DiNozzo tries not to believe in fairytales. Wendy hurt him, deeply, when she left him but the real hurt is why she left. The real hurt is in how she accused him of not living in the real world.
As if Tony hadn’t been living in the real world ever since his mother died. As if he wasn’t living in the real world when his father, the so called ‘real’ Anthony DiNozzo Sr., abandoned him in a hotel room, when he remarried over and over and over again. As if he wasn’t living in the real world every time his father chose money and luxury over his own flesh and blood.
Tony knows what it means to live in the real world. He knows it like he knows the name of every boarding school he was left at. He knows it like he knows his future in sports was over as he lay in a hospital bed after a hit nearly broke him. He knows the real world like he knows the names of every prostitute killed when he worked Vice. He knows it like he knows the only reason Mafia Don Mike Macaluso doesn’t extend the hit beyond Philadelphia is because the Don still considers him a son. His son.
Tony knows if he ever goes back. It won’t be the hit that kills him. It will be giving in to everything The Family offers him and becoming just like fucking Senior.
No. Tony knows the real world all too well.
It is written in his blood and his name. It is written in his badge and his resume. It’s carved into his nightmares and the case files in police storage lockers. It is chiseled into the lines on faces who see Tony DiNozzo Jr. and see an asset to be used and discarded.
Gibbs is not the first to look at him and say one thing or another about how much Tony deserves better. It’s only been a year with NCIS, though, and so far he’s been good. He’s kept his promise.
A lot can happen in a year though.
This last case took a large chunk out of the MCRT, the Major Crimes Response Team. Then again, any case involving dead kids being moved in a navy shipping container usually is and getting approved for time off afterwards was surprisingly easy. Or maybe not? The entire MCRT team, Gibbs, Tony, and Vivian were given two weeks leave.
So maybe the director is just that nice?
Tony can’t say for sure. After all, people only show you a certain face and then their true selves when they feel comfortable with you. When they feel they’ve got your measure.
The very last thing he expected on his forced and needed vacation was to play knight in shining armor to a lady in trouble. Just like in a fairytale.
He didn’t expect to spend his entire break getting to know said stranger.
A truly beautiful stranger, a princess. A princess with ferocity carefully hidden behind blue eyes.
A princess who looked at him and her everything just screamed wild frontier. Dangerous. Every facet of her is like an erupting volcano, potentially fatal and yet, oh, so, mesmerizing. She burns so brightly, so hot she could destroy everything around her, leaving trails of magma into unpredictable pathways, and yet, and yet, it is because of that furious power that she can offer new life.
But a volcano is more than erupting lava. They also billow out tonnes of superheated clouds of gas and ash, that threatens all life around it, even Rikki herself, and Tony is drawn to her, like a moth to imminent death.
And instead of setting him on fire, dragging him down into the fiery pits of hell, she pushes him aside. Gently. Carefully.
She’s hyperaware that she can hurt him and is trying not to. (No, that’s not quite right.) It’s more that…she isn’t sure if what she might do will hurt him but she still tries not to. As if by making sure Tony isn’t set ablaze, she can somehow keep them both from being blown to pieces or torn apart.
It drives Tony crazy. It messes with his head.
She is the most dangerous princess he’s ever met and he’s met several very deadly women while working undercover with the Mafia.
He’s so use to chasing and charming his way in or out of trouble, he’s lost on what to do with this. Tony is the ladies’ man, suave and smooth, and the perfect gentleman. But settling down sets his teeth on edge and his insides twist. At the same time he wants that connection, one formed between two people. The federal agent recognizes that need to please part of himself, that part that wants someone to praise him for being a good life partner.
(He’s sure Wendy broke that in him.)
And yet…and yet, Rikki isn’t asking him to marry her or settle down with a kid and white picket fence. There’s no end goal of the American dream family for her. Far from it.
Just time and attention.
When was the last time someone asked Tony for that?
It drives him to distraction, thinking and thinking of her. Of her fire, her stride, and her strength. But is it real? Is she real or a figment of his desperate imagination?
It makes the agent wonder about what he sees. (What is Tony seeing?)
He doesn’t know sometimes. Or he thinks he knows and just pretends everything is fine. Everything is as it should be. (What is Tony looking at?)
Who is Rikki? Is she really that fearless? No. She admitted she gets scared but she also confessed to facing that fear. Every day, without fail, because not facing her fear is more terrifying than being stopped by what scared her in the first place.
What is Tony doing?
He doesn’t know…
He doesn’t know…
…But he’s going to damn well try to figure it out.
The year that follows is rocky.
Tony keeps Rikki to himself but admits he had a great vacation and is ready to get back to work. Then, the MCRT loses Vivian because she blows their cover during an op.
That leaves Gibbs and Tony on the MCRT with an ever revolving door of TADs who either can’t handle Gibbs’ Marine boot camp during investigations or Gibbs’ lays on the Second ‘B’ for bastard a little too thick. Morrow does not enjoy chewing out the SSA but it’s obvious the Director is losing his patience with the Marine.
So while Gibbs and the Director play chicken with each other, Tony calls Rikki when he can. If he gets to his apartment at a good time and he’s not too tired, he’ll chat with her over video. Her boat has all the bell and whistles, so that isn’t too hard to do for either of them.
Tony is sure if he ever shared what Rikki’s boat looked like, Gibbs would lose his shit. He’s tempted just to hear the old Marine talk shit about all the gizmos and gadgets that ruin a perfectly good ship but Tony recognizes that Rikki needs that touch to remind her to come back after a deep dive.
He does something similar when he needs to ground himself after going undercover. Sometimes, UC agents need some kind of trigger to bring them out of the legend and Tony can admit, when a cover felt a little too comfortable, he needed a trigger of his own to bring back Tony DiNozzo.
For someone who spends most of her time underwater, he can guess that to get the shots she does requires a type of undercover of her own. The reminders of the comforts of land, of civilization, must be one such trigger to get her back into a ‘human’ mindset.
The agent does wonder what she ‘dives’ into, a shark? A dolphin? He always loses the nerve to ask her or he’ll be distracted by a case or she’ll send him videos for his sneak peek. Mostly, they’re learning how to schedule each other into the time that they have.
Some times the time zones will be so all over, Rikki will rely on him to message when he’s available so they can sync the times they are free. Which is nice. It reminds Tony that Rikki is putting in just as much effort as he is.
Still, they just manage to find their groove when the POTUS ball carrier dies on Air Force One and shit really hits the fan.
Tony groans as he settles on his couch, laptop sitting on the coffee table, waiting for his girlfriend to start the call. Yes, his girlfriend, they managed to move their relationship to the next level. Although, he is not looking forward to having her dock in Washington.
It would not take her long to find out what happened and deal with it, a la Rikki style.
Caitlin Todd might think herself a big shot because she used to protect POTUS but that means jack shit when you resign from the post due to fraternization. The women is on very thin ice and it only takes one more mistake to ruin her chances for a future career in law enforcement.
Rikki, as a famous filmmaker in her own right, and whose work is featured in plenty of films across the globe, has friends in some very high places. She doesn’t flaunt this aspect of her career or her wealth but introducing Tony to people like Morgan Freeman (hello, heart palpitations) during that festival says a lot.
Nevertheless, if it’s one thing all the alphabet agencies agree on, it’s that bad publicity is a nightmare. The mobs of the American people can be deadly and unforgiving. The court of Public Opinion can kill just as easily as a bullet. Rikki might be a foreigner but her contacts are very much not and considering Rikki provides a very rare and unique asset to various industries, no one is going to risk running her off.
Which brings Tony back to the present, Rikki will be on any second and he is not looking forward to telling her he got thrown out of a van by the FBI. Or that Gibbs is the reason he was caught.
She’s gonna go ballistic.
Tony was wrong.
His girlfriend was beyond ballistic. She was downright apocalyptic. It took all of Tony’s skill to talk her down from marching into NCIS and slapping his boss in the face in front of several federal witnesses.
Rikki did press for him to file an official complaint and when, not if, he decides to leave, it will be on record, just why he did so. Tony thought it was interesting that she assumed he would leave…
”Why wouldn’t you?” She asks, “Is what they did legal?”
”It’s not illegal.”
”But was it okay?”
”Well-”
”-that’s a no, then.”
“Rikki, darling.”
”If there was a rookie in your place, would you find what Gibbs had you do, okay?”
Tony abruptly shuts his mouth. He tries to look her in the eye and form an argument. His voice deserts him and he can’t find the words. Because she’s right. Legally, what happened was ‘fine’. But ethically?
He looks away, feeling wrong footed but not sure why. She isn’t pushing him to make a choice, only to file a complaint. She isn’t demanding he get compensated for his injuries or get even or push for a promotion.
”Why protect them,” she ask slowly, as if testing her words, “if they weren’t willing to protect you?”
Tony doesn’t have an answer her but then, he doesn’t need to. He agree to file the complaint.
He didn’t know what he should expect after he filed that complaint but seeing Director Morrow rip into Gibbs was not it. Both agents had been called to his office and Tony watched as Morrow stripped his pound of flesh with Tony, the Head of HR Leanne Douglas, and Head of Legal Catherine Roman, as witnesses.
Morrow ended the meeting by reminding Gibbs of his own rules, #1 and 5: Never screw over your partner and you don’t waste good. This seemed to satisfy Douglas and Roman. They gathered their things and left.
”I don’t know what was going through your head Gibbs, but know this is your only warning,” Morrow practically growls, “don’t do it again. You hear me?”
”Yes sir.” Gibbs replies almost mockingly, and gives Tony a shallow nod. The closest he’ll ever get to an apology, Tony knows, and walks out.
”Dinozzo, wait a moment.” Tony stays seated.
“Now, I apologize for you having received the short end of the stick on this one.” Morrow starts with a sigh once the door shuts. “I have no idea what idiot was thinking. But such behavior is unbecoming of any federal agent.”
And, oh, he’s emphasizing certain words. He’s emphasizing a word that Tony knows means a lot for people who’ve served. The fact the director is using it to describe Gibbs is, well…
Tony stays silent. Uncertain.
”I won’t promise it won’t happen again. Gibbs likes to think he’s invincible but he’s not. He might have powerful friends, but they can’t protect him forever and I don’t want you acting like they can. Understood?”
”Yes, sir.”
”Good.” Morrow pulls a folder that’s been sitting idly on the desk and flips it open. “With that said, I appreciate you filing the complaint and I know there are several options available to you. If you want more details on those you can talk to Douglas and Roman. Before you do, I want you to hear what I have for you.”
”I’m all ears, sir.” Tony keeps his body relaxed and mentally, braces himself. This is hi boss showing his hand.
”Your two years are almost up and I’m glad you’re still here. That being said, I’d like to keep you on. If you’re willing to stay on for another year while I try and find someone else to play with Gibbs, I’ll give you any post you want.”
Tony blinks. He blinks again, not sure he heard that right. “What?”
“Any post you want.” Morrow enunciates with a little smirk. “I’ve got several senior agents retiring in a year. But if NCIS is no longer somewhere you want to stay, I’ll give you a little heads up but this stays between us, Dinozzo.”
”Yes, of course.” Tony can feel how wide his eyes are. How dry his mouth his.
”The director of Homeland is also retiring in about a year or so and I’ve been toying with the idea of moving over. If you still don’t have an idea for what position you want in NCIS, I’d be more than happy to take you with me to Homeland.”
“Sir, that’s…”
”Unconventional. Yes, I know.” Morrow chuckles, like he isn’t talking about blatant favoritism. “But unlike Gibbs, I at least attempt to keep my word. I have no intention of having you go to waste. So, take your time and think about it. Talk to your friends if you think that will help.”
Tony is speechless and has no idea what his face is doing. Morrow gets up from his desk, goes over to the little table in his office that Tony knows his secretary made on behalf of Morrow’s wife, fills a cup of cold water and places it in Tony’s hands.
“When you have an answer let me know. Finish your water before heading back.” Morrow pats his hand and takes his seat, getting back to his paperwork.
Eventually, Tony manages to do that and get himself together enough to head back to the bullpen, and pretend nothing had happened at all.
But in the back of his mind…
As the year drags on and cases come in, Rikki grows more disillusioned with the agency. Tony appreciates and dreads speaking with his girlfriend. On one hand he loves how every criticism is about the agency and their treatment of Tony. She always questions how Tony would have reacted to this or that if he was still a detective.
It forces him to reflect on his actions and the actions of his team. It forces him to be aware of his own actions during a case. So far, he’s come to the uncomfortable understanding that the team is skimming the line of what is legal. And that Tony is slowly being sucked in.
NCIS is wearing him down…
So many cases could have been thrown out due to one technicality or another. The MCRT has been lucky so far but luck will not hold out forever. Gibbs might have some pull in DC to stay out of the line of fire when the heat eventually comes down but even that can only last so long.
Tony has his own connections but he shouldn’t have to use them in order to keep his job. He should be, according to Rikki, using those contacts to help do his job, to catch real criminals. To get justice for the victims and their families.
She doesn't understand why he has to watch his back from his own team. (Tony hadn’t realized he'd fallen into that mindset until she pointed it out to him).
On the other hand, he dreads hearing about how she sees the agency. But he needs to. Her opinion is a direct reflection of an outside perspective into an American federal agency. It tells Tony how the general public view NCIS and as every good beat cop will tell you, if the people are against you, if they don’t trust you, you’ve already lost the battle.
The two year mark comes and goes, leaving Tony adrift and uncertain.
Rikki stays solid and unwavering. Her belief is simple: time to move on. And isn’t it strange? Tony is the one known for moving on but he wavers on this, on leaving NCIS. He loves his job but…
…what should he do?
Rikki doesn’t tell him, and won't make the choice for him. So long as he makes a move she’ll be happy.
The call connects.
“Hello, gorgeous.”
“Hey handsome.” Rikki smiles, glad to see him and that soothes him. She’s always happy to see him and vice versa.
“So,” he starts, “I’ve been thinking about what you’ve been saying…”
“And?” Her gaze is steady.
But also, entrancing. She’s waiting for him, for his choice, his word, his action and will not try to move him to be one thing over another. Sometimes, he wishes she would because being himself can be exhausting. Sometimes, he wants someone else to tell him what to do, what to be and how to feel. But that feeling and that want is how he ended up in this mess.
Not Rikki, though. She wants Tony Dinozzo Jr. And that is the most terrifying feeling in the world.
It’s the most freeing feeling, too.
Tony thinks of his earlier analogy, about Rikki being a volcano spot on. She can be ferocious and destructive. But she can also be as immovable, demanding everything around her bend to her will, change at her command and in the aftermath, completely change the landscape into something new.
She can stroke a passion in him that damn near takes his breath away. That leaves him hard and aching for her, desperate to sink into her fiery depths.
“I’m leaving.”
Tom Morrow sighs at the paper that crosses his desk. It is not a surprise. Not really. He knew Dinozzo was heading this direction.
He’s long since known the writing was on the wall. The young agent had a very strong lady at his side, one who reminded him just why he chose to go into law enforcement and kept him on their side. Morrow will admit to being curious about the young woman who managed to keep the normally flighty agent to herself.
However, unlike a certain former marine, Morrow knows when not to push for such information.
The soon to be former director has contacts of his own and they have plenty to say about Dinozzo’s girlfriend. There is also an interesting story that she was contracted by a SEAL team leader for training and spent the entire time out of the water. That was not to say she was soft on them, quite the contrary, rumor is she was an absolutely brutal taskmaster.
And the team leader only hired her to rile his team up. Poor man didn’t think the civilian woman would actually put them through the wringer.
Speaking of, said woman is certainly interesting on paper. He can only imagine actually meeting her. The team lead had managed to weasel several critical pieces of information out of her. Ms. Chadwick drops hints that she made things every uncomfortable for Gibbs and the other members of the MCRT, Tony excluded.
It brings to mind all the times Gibbs came in furious about his basement flooding, Todd’s and McGee’s pipes bursting for no apparent reason, and just how easy it would be for someone with Ms. Chadwick’s skills to cause such chaos.
If there was ever any proof, she’d get a slap on the wrist since they cause no physical harm to anyone. Not anyone would find any evidence, if rumors are true…
Regardless, Morrow will be leaving for his new post at Homeland and Tony will be heading out for his new post, too. The last case has been wrapped up, the paperwork filed, and once Tony is cleared by HR, he’ll be clearing out his desk.
The incoming director sounds like a real piece of work and she’s a red head. Rumor has it, she and Gibbs used to have something, but Morrow isn’t interested in finding out more. It’s bad enough she’s a redhead, a known Gibbs weakness. It gives Morrow a bad feeling, having her made director of a federal agency but he was overruled in that regard.
The only good thing is the MCRT will be down one investigator, the best Morrow has ever seen, and when she comes in, she won’t be able to play any games with the young agent. He’ll be far out of her reach.
Is that petty? Absolutely.
Especially for someone who has been asking around about said agent as if Morrow wouldn’t hear about it. As if Morrow wouldn’t hear about NCIS agents being harassed for information about ‘the women’ who picked up Dinozzo after a few of his cases. In the agent’s car no less.
It did not take long for Morrow to track the numerous inquiries. Which makes Morrow’s old, spiteful heart warm at the knowledge that Tony will not be up for her to use as her own whipping boy.
Looking at the time, Morrow signed the last line needed as his time as director of NCIS comes to an end. It is approval for Tony’s use of his leave days in leu of putting in his notice.
A pity Morrow won’t be here to see the new director’s reaction to Dinozzo’s resignation. With how interested she’s been his agent and how she was appointed without his endorsement, she must have some hidden agenda. One that requires some one with undercover skills and NCIS just so happens to have one of the best in the business.
Had.
Morrow chuckles as he packs his things. NCIS had one of the best. All the bullshit that Gibbs put this agency through has certainly gotten worse. His friends didn’t make things better by letting the man get away with wrist slap after wrist slap, reversing any punishments Morrow put in the works.
But now, oh, now things have changed. Their shit has officially cost them and it’s almost a pity Morrow won’t have front row seats to the show. Most of his things from the office have already been cleared out. Now it’s just the little things. He grabs his jacket and walks out of the office. It’s late and there’s a light on at the bullpen.
”Agent Dinozzo.” He greets.
”Boss.” Said agent greets with a smile. He’s the only one here, the others having cleared out ages ago. “Just finished.”
”Didn’t want to make a scene?” Earlier, he’d seen Dinozzo going over cold care files, pretending to be finishing a report for the latest case.
”No.” Dinozzo shook his head, throwing his go bag over his shoulder and picking up a box sitting innocently behind his chair. “But Balboa promise to record their reactions for me when they hear about it.”
”Ah, good man.” Morrow chuckles again. “Let’s go then. Shoot the breeze with me.”
”Sure thing, boss.”
They walk to the elevator, chatting about nothing and everything. Two comrades in arms, letting the past go in exchange for a better future. Morrow to his wife and new post in Homeland. Tony, to his girlfriend waiting outside, and the ring hiding in his apartment, waiting for Tony to ask The Question.
A petal diamond ring to show his dedication to her, to both parts of her. The one at sea and the one on land. But that’s only for him to know, to protect, and love.
They leave the Navy Yard, one in his own car and the other has a beautiful woman waiting for him, his car keys in her hand and a smile on her lips. The older glances over as the couple embrace, noting just how beautiful the woman is and wonders at what the rumors say.
Rumors that say a Navy cop (former now) managed to woo himself a truly magical woman.