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“What did you want to talk about?” Kodai questioned rather bluntly, smoothing out her skirt as she sat down.
Reiko sighed as she drew her knees to her chest, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “Is it chill if I talk about something personal?” The willowy girl asked with slight hesitation.
Despite the fact that Kodai was the first person that she had ever willingly befriended, Reiko had always felt awkward coming to her for anything. She always worried that she was bothering the other girl, taking up precious time within her day for something trivial. Kodai took it in stride somehow, carefully reminding Reiko that she never wanted her friend to feel as though she couldn’t speak to her.
“Of course,” Kodai said, the same response she always had for these kinds of conversations.
Reiko reached down and fiddled with a loose string on her sock, twisting the material around her finger.
“It’s about Shiozaki.” She muttered, resting her head against her knees. “Nothing bad or anything.”
Kodai raised her eyebrow, humming softly as to tell Reiko to continue.
“I just…” The telekinetic trailed off, suddenly feeling embarrassed. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked at her best friend. “Do you think… Do you think I’m a good girlfriend?”
The other girl didn’t say anything – not that she usually did. Instead, a contemplative look crossed her face, her eyebrows furrowed together as she obviously pondered the question. It was something that Reiko usually enjoyed about Kodai, how seriously she treated Reiko’s questions, never writing them off or thinking that they were silly. However, now, it just made Reiko feel nauseous, terrified to hear what her best friend thought.
This continued for several more minutes, the only noise being the soft drone of the pipes within the walls and the permanent creaking of the Yanagi house.
“Did Shiozaki say that you weren’t?” Kodai finally asked, breaking the silence.
Reiko shook her head. “No, she didn’t.”
“Then why do you ask?”
“It’s hard to tell with her, sometimes, what she really thinks,” Reiko admitted quietly. “I can never tell if she’s ever upset with me, or if anything I said has affected her.”
“Wouldn’t that mean you haven’t, yet?” Kodai suggested, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Is that not good?”
Reiko shrugged her shoulders. “I mean, it depends. If you’re content with your partner never saying what they think around you, yeah, it’s good.” She explained as she pulled the thread of her sock. “But I don’t want that kind of relationship. I don’t want… I don’t want Shiozaki to ever feel like she can’t speak to me.”
Kodai nodded. “Perhaps… You’re overthinking this.”
The telekinetic rolled her eyes. “Yeah? How?”
“Well… Shiozaki is a direct person, is she not?” Her friend pointed out. “She always states what’s on her mind.”
That was true. Honestly, it was a bit disconcerting how transparent her girlfriend was, her disdain for sugarcoating words or running others in circles extremely evident in how she spoke and behaved. Reiko had always found that trait of Shiozaki admirable, seeing as she was so used to being silent and allowing others to walk over her.
Still, the telekinetic couldn’t help but wonder just how much Shiozaki allowed herself to really be her in their relationship. Compared to how she was around her friends, Shiozaki was far more gentle and attentive with Reiko, constantly brushing her hand against the telekinetic’s own without a second thought, somehow knowing that Reiko needed to feel her touch. It was almost like night and day, one moment scolding Kamakiri for his vulgar language and the next whispering in Reiko’s ear about how beautiful she looked.
Reiko felt ashamed for doubting her girlfriend like this, for thinking that she was anything but genuine, but the thought constantly lingered in the back of her mind. Shiozaki would never willingly act like that, not unless Reiko herself had some kind of influence over it.
“I think you’re just worried,” Kodai stated with a blank expression. “This is your first relationship. You don’t want it to go horribly.”
Reiko just stared at her friend.
“...Seriously?”
Kodai stared at her in return. “Yes.”
Then, she reached over and placed her hand on Reiko’s knee, the gesture as comforting as it was warm.
“You’re not a bad girlfriend.” Kodai reiterated. “It’s just your nerves.”
“We’ve been dating for two months,” Reiko said to her. “Why wait until now to get nervous?”
Her best friend shrugged. “You’re a naturally timid person. You’ll always be nervous.”
Reiko huffed. “Wow, thanks.”
Even though her face remained blank as it always did, there was an amused gleam in Kodai’s eyes. “You know,” She suddenly said, “you could just ask her.”
“Ask who?”
“Shiozaki.” Kodai eloquently answered.
Reiko frowned. “Ask her what?”
“If she feels unhappy.” Her best friend specified. “Why ask me when you could ask her?”
“I…” Reiko looked away, her face burning. “I guess I didn’t think about that.” She realized. “I think… I think I was just scared of her confirming my fears, y’know?”
“Yes, I understand,” Kodai told her. “But I’m not Shiozaki. I don’t know what she thinks.”
Reiko nodded silently in response. Her best friend was right – she always was. Kodai always knew what to say to all of Reiko’s worries and frustrations, knowing full well that the willowy girl would never stop making up the outcomes to her thoughts instead of doing the obvious.
“I’ll ask her tomorrow.” Reiko decided. “No more… No more coming up with my own assumptions.”
“Good.” Kodai agreed. “Because we both know what Shiozaki will say.”