Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It is a wonder that their humble kitchen has such a delicate small tray that fits the one-apple apple pie perfectly. Adam cuts the pie in half and passes one piece to Ivan. They eat in compatible silence surrounded by warmth. The pie isn’t bakery standard, with its chewy crust instead of crispy crust, but the mixed flavour of sour and sweet makes his mouth water between bites.

When the silence stretches uncomfortably long, Adam chances a glance towards Ivan. There is the same jolly and optimistic look on Ivan’s face, and his eye that isn’t covered in gauze shines tenderly and contently. It makes Adam feel grounded, like the earth is full of hope again, because that’s just how Ivan has always made other people feel. A sudden need to apologize rises from Adam’s chest, but he stomps it down immediately. “Don’t be absurd, what would that look like?” he muses.

He leaves Ivan to the peaceful scenery shortly after, returns to the church and finds Gunnar packing. “Where are you going?” he asks with a fake casual tone while rummaging through the cabinet pretending to find something for lunch. “Sarah asked me to live with her, in her cottage to the south. She doesn’t want to go through it along, the baby and everything.” Silence falls again, not knowing what to say, Adam heads to his room. “Take care of Ivan?” Gunnar says tentatively. Adam stops, feeling Gunnar’s gaze fall on his back. It isn’t something commonly trusted to him, but to his own surprise, the request doesn’t seem out of place. So he nods before entering his room.

There isn’t much to do actually, with the apple tree gone, Ivan in the hospital, and everybody else finding new purpose. Adam lies down on the bed, staring at the ceiling for a while, but then his mind wanders back to the hospital. He finds himself wondering things like what Ivan might be doing, or when he will be well enough to come back, shouldn’t be long though. He dismisses the train of thought impatiently and focuses on the summer breeze instead. “What does Ivan think happened so that he ended up in the hospital since Ivan can’t acknowledge violence?” his traitorous mind suddenly ponders. Adam sits up irritably and takes a cigarette in hand. Maybe it’s the lack of purpose that’s turning him into a needy bitch. Time to think of a new goal then, as his last goal of baking an apple cake has already been fulfilled, though it was more like an apple pie.

As he smokes, he thinks about getting a new tree as his goal because it feels right to have an apple tree in the garden or whatever type of tree as long as it bears fruits, but that would be too easy. He can just drive down to the market, pick one up, plant it at a sunny spot and get rid of the old lightening-struck corpse, it would be finished in one day. Lacking better idea, he decides that he will go to the market with Ivan when he is well enough, not because he wants to obviously, just to spare himself some long and ridiculous talks in case he doesn’t get the holy enough one to Ivan's standards.

Adam enjoys the summer in the countryside of Denmark quite a lot, for he never had the chance to live relatively at ease. He would be enjoying his life free of church duties before Ivan comes back immensely, if he doesn’t wake up with a hard on almost everyday and the faint memory of dreams about Ivan sucking his cock. Sex or pleasure has never been something that bothers him before, as he is used to jerking off in the morning shower and doesn’t spare it any thoughts for the rest of the day. But the dreams are too vivid to ignore. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees Ivan’s sinfully red lips wrap around his thick shaft, and those soft curvy lips slide down his length.

He attributes it to the lack of physical labour, as he refuses to believe either God or Satan is behind this. So he starts to wear himself out everyday, hoping those dreams will just fade away because of his exhausted body. But even with his new daily routine -running five miles in the mornings and doing push-ups until his arms give out before bed- those images about Ivan’s lips are still in his mind, as stubborn as Ivan himself. Although they seems to be changing now, mostly into Ivan bending over his small desk, his hole swollen and dripping, just like the state he would be in after his father brutally fucked him.

Two weeks later, Adam wakes up to find himself well rested and more importantly, not aroused, no dreams lingering in his mind, no sticky sweat on the sheets either. Who says small miracles won’t favour a normal Tuesday, huh? While washing up, he notices that he is in better shape due to his frantic working out, his belly flatter and shoulders broader. Feeling his spirits rising, he leaves the bathroom for a light breakfast before his morning run.

“Good morning, Adam.”

A familiar cheerful voice reaches his ears upon entering the kitchen. He freezes by the door and stares at the man who has been haunting his dreams. He is relieved to see that Ivan looks well, no gauze to be seen and his broken left eye has been replaced by an artificial eye. Adam stops his staring when Ivan flashes him a soft smile, which makes him realize, for the first time in two weeks, that he has missed him dearly. “Can you notify our parishioners that the sermon will continue tomorrow?” Ivan says while Adam joins him at the table. Just as Adam is about to reply, Ivan stabs a piece of scrambled egg and lifted it to his mouth. Adam’s whole world narrows down, without his permission, to the enticing movements of Ivan’s Cupid’s bow as he bites and his Adam’s apple as he swallows. Adam is finally able to avert his eyes when his painfully hard cock is reminding him of the trousers' confinement.

“For fuck sake!” Adam curses under his breath while storming out of the room, and responds to Ivan’s confused babbling of “Excuse me? This is just plain rude…” by slamming his bedroom door harshly. He leans against the door, palms his erection through the jeans furiously.

“Who the fuck is the actual Devil?”

Adam takes a deep breath and wills his arousal to calm down by picturing himself in the camp from his old days, with scattered decomposed body parts on the barren ground and echo of screams floating in the air. On second thought, perhaps he should have just masturbated. The effect is immediate though, as he is no longer panting or seeking release. But he can feel heaviness encroaching on his mood, his high spirits ten minutes ago no where to be found. He grabs the keys to their blue minivan, throws himself in the driver’s seat, and steps on it a bit more forcefully than necessary.

The meadow, which extends beyond eyesight, is dancing to the wind like waves, slowly soothing his frying nerves. The duty of notifying the parishioners doesn’t take long, since there are only three of them left, four if he counts himself. On his way back, he stops before the church reaches his eyes, gets out and leans against the side with his back to the sun, listening to the buzzing white noise. Now that he is more or less calm, he recognises the small joy of seeing Ivan back to his normal self again, well, as normal as he can be. There is also a tiny fraction of guilt still clinging to his thoughts, but it is almost negligible compared to what he felt when he was carrying Ivan to the hospital in that pouring rain. He tries not to think about his obsession with Ivan’s lips, because there is no way of hiding from Ivan now, is there? Adam is the only one left to assist Ivan, so he will be seeing Ivan push through his bedroom door like it doesn’t exist whenever he needs something done, like bringing him biscuits. But he knows he doesn’t want to leave, as a sense of belonging has taken root in his heart, and the urge to slap Ivan in the face has become much less frequent. Heaving out a deep sigh, he climbs back in and drives home.

It is four o’clock in the morning, the church is quiet, eerily quiet. Adam walks to the front, where the bony figure of Jesus is fixed on the Cross. He kneels down before the short stairs, and closes his eyes. He doesn’t really know why he is here, let alone what he is going to say. In fact, he would like some guidance on how to stop noticing and responding with his cock to Ivan riding bicycle with his arse hovering above the seat or Ivan’s long slender legs under his hideous shorts. It sounds so trivial that he doubts God will bother replying, after all, the last time God did something to reveal himself Ivan was dying in the church. Suddenly, he feels a gentle pressure on his shoulder and opens his eyes. He thinks he must be either hallucinating or out of his mind because what he sees is Ivan standing in front of him, clad in nothing but a white cloth around his torso, blocking his view to Jesus.

He is dumbfounded when Ivan kneels in front of him, draws near him until those lips touches his own, the sensation soft as a marshmallow. But it only lasts for one brief moment before Adam is pushed to the ground when Ivan straddles his hips, the cloth falling to the floor. Ivan grinds his already hard cock against Adam’s groin and lets out a long and breathy moan that is the most beautiful sound Adam has ever heard. With heat gathering in his loins, Adam slides his hands from Ivan’s thighs to his waist and catches up to the rocking rhythm. From the skylight high on the steeple, a ray of moonlight falls on Ivan lighting up his maroon eyes, and as if just awakened, two huge white wings shyly unfurl behind his back, feathers fluffing while Ivan chases his pleasure on Adam’s lap shamelessly. The image shoots straight to Adam’s cock, pushing him towards the edge of orgasm. Short pants mingled with desperate whines, as well as the sounds of friction between skin and clothes fill the air of the empty church hall. Ivan’s cock is leaking clear liquid from the slit, adding to the already there wet patch on Adam’s jeans. His angelic wings bursts into flame emanating bright crimson glow at the same instant as Ivan comes with a broken cry, spilling ropes of cum across Adam’s chest and abdomen, wings quivering in the blazing hellfire.

Adam’s eyes blinks open at the surreal image, but sees the slightly damp ceiling of his bedroom rather than angel Ivan writhing on top of him. Just as he realizes that his right hand is currently in his soaked underwear squeezing his straining cock, the door flies open. “Good morning, Adam. I need your help getting ready for the sermon.” Ivan says, with his right hand on the doorknob, upper body already leaned into his room. Adam quickly flings the cover over his crotch, and sits up with a neck-breaking speed. Wake up call delivered, Ivan closes the door. Adam brings the heels of his palms to his eyes and groans, and before he can pick up his shirt on the floor, the door opens again. “I would like to talk to you about abstinence, but we can talk about it later. See you in five minutes?” Ivan closes the door, cutting of Adam’s murderous stare. Brisk footsteps leave the corridor.

Adam does come out in five minutes because this is the first sermon after Ivan returned from the hospital, but it doesn’t prevent him from thinking about burying Ivan in the back yard. Adam sits at one of the benches while Ivan is high on his preaching position. He contemplates the meaning of last night’s bizarre but hot-as-hell dream, as if there is another meaning besides his own desire. He even considers the possibility of it being God’s message. So...God is telling him that he should let Ivan rut against him in the hall when everybody is gone. Also, Ivan might catch on fire after orgasm.

By the end of the sermon, he reaches the conclusion that he should continue focusing on his previous work out routine since it worked, albeit briefly. Adam will wither away and die before acknowledging the fact that it also helps him achieve tip-top physical condition for his priest.

Chapter Text

It occurs to Adam when he walks through the garden with eggs and other groceries from the morning market, that his make-shift goal of planting another tree has yet to be done. The old tree is thoroughly toasted, but he should be able to make good firewood out of it. He has just finished making pancakes when Ivan arrives, always with the impeccable timing.

“Good morning. Smells yummy.” Ivan says while laying plates for two at the table. After bringing the pancakes to the table, Adam glues his eyes to his own plate so that he can have breakfast without any incidents. It usually works, but he did lose himself in the sound of Ivan chewing and swallowing several times last week.

“I have thought of a new goal.” Adam starts. Now is as good a time as any to bring up the subject.

“That’s wonderful.” Ivan looks up to Adam expectantly. “What is it?” Ivan says with a spark in his eyes while still munching on the pancake.

“I want to get us a new tree. I meant a new tree for the church.”

“Hmm” Ivan hums approvingly. “Another apple cake? I thought your new goal was to keep a strong body. Which is good, a strong body does help with fighting against Satan.” Ivan says, his eyes roaming and lingering on Adam’s shoulders and chest. Oh, so he has noticed.

“Well, you said the old tree had been there for a long time. Now that it’s dead…” Adam squirms under Ivan’s scrutiny, feeling the temperature rising. “Anyway, the orchard is an hour’s ride away, I thought you might want to come and choose for yourself. You can get the right one, you know, with less birds and worms” Adam feels a little bit nervous thinking about spending hours in a confined space with Ivan. But what could possibly go wrong, right?

“Of course, Adam. A decent tree then. I know the owner, the Lecter couple, they are not religious. We could ask them whether they have changed their mind.”

Adam wants to ask him how anyone can simply change their mind about not being religious, but he refrains himself, recalling not to get into an argument with Ivan. Besides, it’s actually possible, if God deems it necessary to strike down some apple trees which they must have plenty.

Ivan looks way too joyous when he goes straight to the driver’s seat and sits in before Adam can protest. It’s not that Adam doesn’t trust Ivan to drive, it’s just that Ivan should still be adjusting to his new condition with only his right eye functioning. But since there is no traffic, Adam thinks it should be fine.

It’s peaceful on their way to the orchard, the meadow revealing vivid deep green, confirming that summer has arrived at its full force. Adam was worried that he might develop an inappropriate hard on with Ivan in his shorts sitting right next to him, but since the real Ivan can’t actually spout wings out of blue, the grass flavoured breeze coming from the rolled down window is able to keep him calm like an anchor. The cheesy music accompanied with the engine’s purring and of course Ivan’s off-key humming flows in the background, but Adam doesn’t find it annoying. In fact, he doesn’t think he will ever find it annoying again. He closes his eyes to enjoy such a rare moment of tranquility, right before an sharp crack like something snapped cut through his peace making his heart jump.

“What the hell?” Adam immediately turns to Ivan who is gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles as the car slowly grinds to a full stop while making abrasive scraping and creaking sounds. His heart sinks to his stomach when he sees a tire, the tire which he has just washed clean two days ago, rolling forward along the road shakily before falling flat to the ground.

“I think you might be asking the right question. This’s clearly Satan’s work.” Ivan says knowingly as he gets off the car to fetch the runaway tire.

“Oh Jesus Christ! Don’t even start.” Once Adam is done staring, he gets out of the car as well and slams the door close. He crouches down to examine the damage, which is quite obvious. There is nothing but smooth driveway beneath the car, but one of the front tires literally fell off from its socket. How is this even possible?

“Satan is still testing you. As I have told you before…” Ivan comes back holding the tire before his chest in both hands. He doesn’t even look surprised which irritates Adam even more.

“No. Stop saying the word Satan. I can’t have any of it now.” Adam cuts him off and walks away to the back of the car only to find that there is nothing in the trunk, so no repairing can be done.

Ivan follows and stands right beside him looking very sincere. “As I have told you before, Adam, even though Satan doesn’t want you to achieve you goal, you mustn’t lose faith. God is on our side, Adam. If you can recall the last time revelation was witnessed, God still left seven apples for you. But then Sarah ate most of them. That’s because Satan was sensing your success, so he had to create obstacle…”

“Why the fuck doesn’t he want me to achieve my goals?? I have nothing to do him!” Adam can’t hold back his shouting anymore. He is going to burst if he hears another second of Ivan’s preaching. “This’s MY goal!! I’m not doing it for God, I don’t need him on my side! Let’s just go home and worry about it later, okay?” he pleads to Ivan, hoping that he would just drop the matter, as well as the fucking tire.

“Ho ho ho, that’s not the right attitude.” Ivan looks taken aback. “God is with us all. Everyone. You must believe that good will prevail eventually. But in order to know God, we must learn to dance with the Devil. Of course we need him on our side, that is how we stay strong and keep fighting. If you don’t believe that, just look at me. Huh? I’m as good as…”

Adam does look at him, while the babbling goes on. Ivan is gesturing ridiculously with the tire in his hands, his words still falling out from those very kissable lips, but they never truly reaches Adam’s ears. Before Adam can think better of it, he closes the distance between them with one step, crowds Ivan against the back of the car, and kisses the still moving lips forcefully. With a dull thud, the tire drops to the ground, bounces twice before rolling into the gently swaying meadow.

The world quiets suddenly, like it’s tuned all the way down. Ivan’s eyes are wide open, surprise and confusion obvious on his face. Well, that just shut him up effectively. Adam wishes with his frantically beating heart that the solid earth would split open, swallow him up and deliver him straight to Satan. If he could go back in time to five seconds ago and punch himself dead, he would. With the warmth of Ivan ghosting on his lips, Adam turns around to hide away the longing in his eyes. What he misses, however, is the almost unrecognizable rosy tint flushing across Ivan’s cheeks, softening his features.

It’s going to be a long walk back to the church. Adam’s brain short-circuited since the kiss is replaying in his head over and over. Ivan has been following behind him silently for the last ten minutes, which worries Adam a little bit. But Adam suppresses the urge to turn around and beg him to say something, anything.

“This is just plain rude.” Ivan’s voice finally reaches his ears after another ten minutes. It feels like a heavy stone has been lifted off his chest. “You can’t make people stop talking like that.” Ivan adds, voice slightly shaking. Adam feels strangely exasperated that Ivan thinks it was just to stop him talking, but he can’t completely understand why he did that either.

“And I also wanted to talk with you about abstinence.” Ivan continues, with his usual confidence in place this time. At that, Adam stills before quickening his pace, attempting to shake Ivan off as if he can avoid this conversation by it. But Ivan also begins to walk vigorously.

“Why were you masturbating the other day before sermon? I don’t think God will tolerate such action of debauchery, Adam. How often do you need to masturbate?” Ivan asks sincerely, panting as he tries to catch up with Adam.

Adam turns around abruptly, almost collides with Ivan who also comes to a sudden halt. They are standing face to face, so close that Adam can feel Ivan’s breath on his face. “Do you think I wanted that? It’s all because of you!” Adam snaps back, shooting daggers at Ivan with his eyes.

“No. You are finding excuses for yourself, Adam. I can’t possibly be the reason you wanted to pleasure your cock in the morning. Can you try to control it?” Ivan is not backing off at all.

Adam clenches his fists at his side because he can’t tell Ivan that he’s been dreaming and fantasizing about him for weeks, can he? “I don’t want to talk about it, not now, not ever. It’s none of your fucking business!!” Adam squeezes these words out of his clenched teeth and walks away, Ivan hot on his heels.

“Have you tried clearing your mind? Sex is not all in life, Adam. If you stop thinking about it, then the need to masturbate will go away.” Ivan suggests like a good Samaritan.

Adam is simmering with humiliation and fury when he turns around again, causing Ivan to bump into him this time. “If I hear another word about this, priest,” Adam’s tone is dark, daring Ivan to defy him, “I will fuck you right here and now.” Adam expects this to scare him off, like a harsh slap to the face, knowing Ivan’s past experiences with an abusive father.

Ivan flinches at that, finally noticing danger emanating from Adam. Whereas any normal human being would let it go, Ivan swallows audibly but still holds Adam’s glare stubbornly. Apparently backing off is simply not his way of conduct. “Why was it because of me?” Ivan utters, only loud enough that the words won’t drown in the summer breeze.

A predatory glee flashes behind Adam’s eyes, and he grabs Ivan by both arms and pushes him into the thigh-high herbage. The impact knocks the air out of Ivan’s lungs when he lands on his back upon the moist meadow with Adam’s weight on top of him. Ivan closes his eyes, waiting for punches to land on his face, but those never comes. Instead, he feels his shorts being yanked down to his knees and Adam’s hand already on the waistband of his pants. “Adam, please.” Ivan begs, but he makes no actual effort to escape.

Adam captures both of his moving hands and pins them above his head. The gesture forces Adam to lean over and look into Ivan's eyes. Adam expects to see Ivan frightened, but instead he is surprised to see Ivan's expression rich with unreadable emotions, and a subtle spark of lust lurking in his eyes.

“Please…” Ivan mutters weakly while pushing against the restrain on his wrists when the lust is replaced by soft pleading. The predatory grin returns to Adam’s face when he realizes that Ivan is at war, not with Satan but with his own desire. Adam leans down and gently nips at Ivan’s earlobe. “You are going to lose, Ivan.” Adam whispers, his tone pure flirtation and seduction.

Adam lets go of Ivan’s wrists and shifts down, looks up to Ivan mischievously before taking the head of his cock in his mouth. A startled whimper leaves Ivan’s throat as Adam sucks and laps at the glans. Adam spreads Ivan’s legs wider by the back of his thighs while swallowing the growing length down to the base. Ivan moans helplessly, hands clutching the herbage beneath. When the cock is heavy on his tongue and Ivan starts to push up into his mouth, Adam releases it with an obscene pop, successfully eliciting a needy whine out of Ivan.

Adam leaves a trail of kisses from Ivan’s groin to his jaw and bites down on his Adam’s apple, marking him possessively. Adam will do that every day if it means he gets to hear the broken cries Ivan makes. When Adam’s lips move to ghost over Ivan’s, Ivan closes his eyes. Adam chuckles and whispers before kissing Ivan hungrily. “Father, I have a confession to make.” When the need to breathe overwhelms them both, Adam purrs against Ivan’s lips, “I’ve been having dirty thoughts about you, Father.” Adam's thumb presses past Ivan's lips, immediately surrounded by wet suction. “I want your lips stretched around my cock until you choke on it. Those lips of yours are made for sucking cock, aren’t they?”

Adam lifts Ivan’s legs on his shoulders and spreads the round and surprisingly soft arse cheeks apart with both hands and teases at the rim with his thumb. “And I want you bent over my desk while I fuck you stupid from behind.” Adam licks a long strip from his hole to the balls making Ivan shriek. Then he begins to lap at the quivering hole in earnest, circling and prodding at the rim. Ivan is wailing now, rocking his hips on Adam’s tongue. Though Adam has always known deep down that Ivan is going to be a vocal lover, he is still smug to hear the proofs.

“Adam!” A breathy cry breaks out from Ivan. Adam meets Ivan’s wild maroon eyes, instantly sucked into their depth, heart aching like a humble believer before his God. Ivan's next word almost makes Adam come in his pants. “Fuck me.” Ivan murmurs under his breath, without breaking eye contact. This is all the confirmation Adam needs.

Adam unzips his fly with shaking hands while Ivan rips the shirt over his head and tosses it aside. Ivan drinks in the sight before him greedily – sunlight falling on Adam lighting up his pale skin and blue eyes – and hooks his legs around Adam’s waist urging him on. Adam gathers the precum threading from Ivan’s cock to the small pool on his flat stomach to slick his length and sinks into Ivan’s licked open hole. Ivan’s head falls back at the sensation of pain and fullness, exposing his Adam’s apple once again. Adam takes the invitation and deepens his ring of pink marks with bites and kisses while fucking into the tight hole at a punishing pace. The vibration of Ivan’s Adam’s apple when he moans is driving Adam mad with primal desire.

Adam straightens up, adjusting the angle until Ivan lets out a delicious sob as his prostate is grazed mercilessly. Adam grips his thighs hard enough to leave bruises and pounds into that sweet spot with every thrust. Ivan opens his mouth but nothing comes out, until he sucks in some much needed air in large gulps and pushes back against Adam’s cock with abandon. The unabashed groans of Ivan's are even more pornographic than in Adam’s dreams.

When Ivan is on the edge of orgasm, he sits up and loops his arms around Adam's neck tightly to support himself, bringing his sinful lips to Adam’s for a deep and passionate kiss. Adam’s hand strokes his cock twice before Ivan spills on his fingers. The exquisite heat and squeeze of Ivan’s hole pushes Adam over the edge shortly after, both of his arms cradling Ivan’s back while he comes inside Ivan. A revelation comes to Adam – if this is what seals his fate and guarantees his damnation, then he will gladly walk into the eternal hellfire.

They collapse to their sides on the soft meadow, still holding on to each other, shielded from the blinding sunlight by the shadows of the herbage. Lying on the earth free from the bondage of clothes offers a different kind of satisfaction. After they come down from the ecstasy, Ivan rests his forehead against Adam’s and mutters “I will pray for you, Adam.” Adam wonders whether Ivan is referring to his confession or the sex.

“But it’s a sin to have intercourse before marriage.” Ivan adds.

With hope seizing his heart, Adam moves back to look at Ivan, searching for any kinds of clues. Ivan seems young and vulnerable, but there is tenderness written in his eyes, compelling Adam to kiss him with all he has. It strikes him like lightning that he loves this ridiculous and infuriating man beyond measure.

“Do you love me?” Adam whispers when their lips are swollen and glistening, fearing any loud noise or sudden movement will break the moment.

“Yes.”

Adam's heart trembles at that single word. He wants to say it back but the lump in his throat makes it very difficult.

A benign and genial smile slowly emerges on Ivan's face. “You can tell me at the wedding, Adam.”