Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

- I'm starvin, darlin'
Let me put my lips to something
Let me wrap my teeth around the world -

His cargo certainly had a mouth on her.

The little one loved puns, canned foods by some chef she thinks was real, and stealing his portions of water so she wouldn’t waste hers. She could chat and chat for hours, then suddenly pass out like she was never awake in the first place.

The cargo with a lovely name certainly didn’t remind him of her.

Ellie was cargo. The cargo was Ellie. She was a living and breathing infected who insisted she was immune. It was almost ironic, considering how downright dumb she could be at times.

The teen never listened to anything he had to say but constantly asked questions. Some would call her innocent, and at the end of the day, no matter how Joel wanted to deny it, she was human. A kid.

A living breathing child in his care. He fed her, kept her safe, and slept next to her every night.

Joel hated her.

The man hated how she made him feel. He wanted to protect her, like when he failed his daughter. He can’t make the same mistakes again and again, but he felt like that was all he could do. He hated it.

The journey was goddamn hard.

Constantly on the move, going from one state to another wasn’t the easiest thing. Joel wasn’t as young as he once was. But it was fine, he had a commitment to uphold and he did exactly that.

And more. It just all happened so fast, days, weeks, and months bled into one another.

Joel knew he killed the hospital full of fireflies. People. Who had families of their own, children, and partners. He knew he should have treated her as the cargo she once was.

But he also fell in love. When and where he did not know. He just knew he’d do it all, over and over again, if it meant he could have her to himself.

She was young. Ellie was young. A child. Fourteen years old.

But he knew how she looked at him, knew how she touched herself in the night when she thought he wasn’t listening. She never said his name outright but it was a sign. Had to be.

He’d seen her get changed quickly here and there, it was only natural. Her little ribcage jutted out, her chest small under a sports bra, and one time he caught her in her underwear and just a shirt on. The little one practically hissed at him to look away and he did, but all he could think about was milky white skin.

Cargo. The cargo was a soft, chatty, pretty girl. Little and lithe, with her tongue sharp as the knife she always had. Long brown hair that was always in a messy style, and he always let his mind drift to how it would feel to simply tug on it. To have even more control over her.

Joel didn’t hesitate in killing the fireflies. They weren’t people anymore. It was like a simultaneous mix.

Ellie went from cargo to his babygirl, his little one, and the people deemed fireflies were now targets, to kill to get to her.

Joel didn’t care he killed Marlene either.

The woman would just come back for his. And for this, Joel wasn’t keen on sharing.

Joel wasn’t used to the little one being quiet. She was knocked out cold, the meds in her running through her rampantly. He was scared she stopped breathing so he pulled over to a safe area, and only meant to look for a second. Until he looked closer.

His little one was naked under her medical gown. Joel could only tell due to the shadows the sun cast; she was on her back and her little nipples lifted the thin fabric slightly. Her thighs were pale, a soft, untouched shade of white.

Ellie was his. His cargo. His little one. His chatterbox. His babygirl. She was his.

Joel just wanted a taste. He would say it was an accident but it wasn’t, not when he had to maneuver her, adjust her to his liking.
For some odd reason, he didn’t know due to age or the nurses doing the job, but her cunt was bald.

Ellie truly looked her age. Fourteen, still a baby to some people; inexperienced, but due to their travels, she grew up too soon. So this was fine. Had to be.

Joel got lost in tasting her. She tasted like the finest ambrosia, the thickest of honey; so sweet and sugary, and normally he wasn’t a sweets kind of guy, but this, he would eat like a man starved. And so, he did.

Ellie was so tight and so goddamn little. Her clit was just the size of a small button, her little lips thin, easy to part and to tease. Her cunt was tight around his tongue and she felt like heaven around his fingers.

Joel practically fisted her, she was so wet; bleeding just a tad due to the onslaught but that was okay, it was okay, she was knocked out cold. One finger just went in numbers, four were in her when he felt her climax. She didn’t make a peep but her body reacted to him all the same.

Like her body recognized she was his.

And who was Joel to deny that?

Her wet cunt was slippery around his cock, her muscles contracting perfectly. She hugged his cock nicely and nothing could ever compare. She was simply perfect.

“Fuck, babygirl,” he groaned as he spread her lithe legs even more, watching as his cock disappeared into her little body. He’d take his hips out until his cockhead was at her entrance then slowly thrust in. The sight was hypnotizing and he could watch it for hours.

Her little breasts were sweet as well, her nipples tasted like candy in his mouth. His beard probably left tiny, irritable scratches but oh well. It was fine, she was okay.

Joel halfway through couldn’t believe he almost lost her. Fuck that, Ellie was his. He pumped into her tight pussy, reveling in the feeling, listening to the sounds of their combined sexes. He was close when she climaxed again, his thumb rubbing at her little button at a overstimulating level.

He loved the size difference, the little bump in her otherwise flat tummy, and it was all because of Joel. He protected her, kept her safe, and most importantly, alive. She practically owed him this.

And with that, he came deep into her, making sure to get it all the way in her. He wanted every inch of her filled with his seed.

Maybe one day, it’d catch. Because he’s not giving her up, not after getting her back.

Ellie was his.

- Seven new ways that you can eat your young
Come and get some
Skinning the children for a war drum
Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns
It's quicker and easier to eat your young -

Chapter Text

Joel should’ve lied, this he knew.

But it was hard to look at her face, so young and trying to be an adult in this situation, be so earnest. She told him about her friend, about when she got bit. She silently expected him to meet her truth with a truth of his.

So, he did.

His little one was upset, why, he did not know; she cried and sat on a rock, rubbing at her eyes. Ellie was so tired from their traveling. They could camp outside one more time for old times' sake.

Ellie didn’t talk to him for hours. She barely touched her food, sipped intently on her water, and refused the game he had packed. That was alright. She didn’t understand what had happened, she was young, after all.

Soon she’ll realize, despite moving to Jackson, no one will love her as Joel does. He’d do anything for her. She was his and he was hers, through and through.

Joel needed Ellie like he needed oxygen. He’d take an inhale whilst looking at her, and feel her silent love, her presence, cover every inch of his lungs; he’d then exhale, relax, and the process will begin anew.

What did Bill say? Men like him were put on this earth to protect?

So, that’s what he’ll do.

They didn’t need to make a fire, spring blooming all around them. It covered the grass in thin layers of pollen patches, flowers just beginning to sprout, and the air was turning to thin humidity. It was nice nonetheless, watching his cargo, just as she was.

Her simple existence did things to him.

At first, he hated her. He still thinks he was justified in that feeling, he’d lost his partner after all. It still hurt him to think of her. And Sarah. And Bill and Frank.

Now that he thought about it, besides Sarah, Ellie was a common factor in all those deaths.

Tess, trying to smuggle Ellie. Joel then needed to bring Ellie to Bill and Franks, and then look who died. Hell, even that Riley girl she mentioned died.

For every moment he thought he loved her, he also felt irritation prick under his skin. Like little needles wanting a way out, but there was no way for that, no outlet, but.

There was Ellie.

So, he’d be fine. He killed for her. Lost people for her. She was his and he’d make damn sure she stays alive.

She owes him that.

The little one was sad and looked almost uncomfortable sitting down. She’d looked like that the past few days since they started traveling back to Jackson; good. He did a number on her when she was passed out.

And he’d do it again.

Joel placed their sleeping bags close together, for protection of course. They weren’t going to sleep and he knew that. The stars were pretty though. Can’t deny that view.

“You see that constellation?” Joel asked, hoping to gauge her interest. He pointed at the constellation, the Little Dipper. His babygirl hummed at that.

“It’s actually called Little Bear, and the scientific name is Ursa Minor,” she stated in response but she said it softly, like the child she was. Like whispering to a friend at a sleepover to not get caught, and Joel was reminded she was still innocent.

“Like you?” Joel asked, turning his head to look at her. Ellie was already staring at him, cheeks red, her eyes still a bit swollen from her silent tantrums. Her lips trembled for just a second.

“What?” She whispered, voice cracking like the prepubescent she was.

“Little bear, that’s what you are,” Joel started, recalling the personalities of the tiny ferocious creatures, “you’re playful and social, sometimes needing guidance,” and what went unsaid, was that she depended on him quite often, needing his protection. The other half of her; taller, stronger, and more experienced.

Time passed and his little cub still wasn’t asleep so he tried another approach.

“What’s that constellation up there?” He pointed up again.

“No fucking clue,” Ellie replied, fighting back a little smirk. Joel glanced down and took note of her hand at her side, bony fingers playing with the grass.

Ellie froze when he held her hand and she was shaky. Probably because she didn’t eat when he told her to. Her hand was smaller than his and soft, knobby little knuckles and all. He ran his thumb across her knuckles, her tiny finger joints, and her wrist.

Joel needed another taste. There was no one around, the settlement was still a morning away. He wondered how he could entice her. She wasn’t dumb.

“Joel, I have a question,” she whispered into the thin air as he rubbed at her wrist, “did, did you, touch me, in the car?”

Yes. Yes, he did. She bled slightly, due to her losing her virginity to him, and rightfully so. He came deep in her, so deep, it took a minute for it to slowly seep out and onto the leather car seat.

“Tell me the truth,” she said. He told her the truth once. He’ll just have to do it again.

“Yes,” he replied. It was the truth. He doesn’t regret it.

So, Ellie cried again. She was livid. Crawling out of her sleeping bag and yelling nonsense at him. They were both standing up and he stood still as she banged against his chest, slapping him, practically clawing at him.

When enough was enough of her tantrum, he easily wrapped a hand around both her wrists, effectively trapping her. She resisted and looked scared but tried to look brave.

“Calm down,” he instructed. Why was she so bent outta shape?

“No, you motherfucker!” She hissed, pulling back aimlessly. She didn’t go anywhere.

“Ellie, now I said calm down,” he said, trying to get through to her.

“Make me!” She snapped and she knew she made a mistake.

Joel pushed her onto her sleeping bag. The poor, pretty little one stared up at him with so much fear. That was okay. Because he knew she was safe. She didn’t have to know anything besides taking it physically.

Ellie laid still, frozen, as Joel chucked off her shoes and rapidly pull her jeans off. Her little panties were easy to just tear off and she whimpered when he spread her legs. Her cunt was so perfect and so small.

She was made for him. She was his.

“Joel, I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again, I’ll listen,” Ellie pleaded, tears beading in her eyes.

“It’s okay, I believe you,” he said before ducking down, fitting her small pussy in his mouth. Her whine was choked out and she laid like a statue for a while until she finally relaxed, finally calmed down. Her slim little hips started grinding on his face and he loved it like that, needing her to react like this.

Ellie was so sweet, her taste so fine. A true dessert in a world where it didn’t grant you that luxury. He lapped her up desperately, needing every drop of her youth.

“Joel, stop, no, I think I’m going to, to, use the bathroom or something, I feel weird,” Ellie said, trying to move away after a while. So ignorant, she was just going to climax around him. He did think of making her squirt one day though. Joel pinned her down and Ellie hiccuped wetly, body moving against his mouth, his nose at her tiny clit.

Ellie’s sounds were like the gates of heaven opening; Joel knew that was the closest he’d get to heaven, but he could live with that.

Ellie’s tight cunt clamped around his tongue in her orgasm and he moaned at how perfect she felt. She practically rode his tongue for a good minute, riding out the unknown waves of pleasure, before bapping at his head like a kitten would.

“You did good little one,” Joel rumbled out when he came up for air. He saw Ellie laying down, arms around her head, illuminated by the moonlight. She wasn’t crying anymore and her pale skin was blushing red due to the act; under the moonlight, she seemed almost translucent.

His little one was the closest thing to an angel, to heaven as itself, he had.

Chapter Text

Ellie loved Joel. He protected her, kept her safe, fed her, and most importantly, killed for her, over and over again.

But that doesn’t mean she likes him. She tries to. But after the massacre he enacted and what he did to her, it’s hard to forgive and forget.

Ellie remembers the pain she went through, she recalls whilst walking; she was in the comatose like sleep the doctors induced her to be in, but the longer she slept, the closer she was to waking up. But it was a trapped sleep.

At first, she thought she was accidentally awake during the surgery. That they were washing her private parts even though she did it before the surgery and the sensation of being licked clean lasted what felt like years.

But then, pain was in her private parts and not her arm nor her head. It was a poke at first, then a stretch, and she felt every sensation, every jolt. Then it escalated from there. It felt like they stuck something far in her, needing her to open her entire body for the surgery.

But Ellie couldn’t scream. She had to take it. For humanity.

But it wasn’t the surgery taking place on her.

Because she knew it was Joel’s voice; she loved his voice, she truly did.

He called her babygirl and rambled things rapidly under his breath like he was a possessed man. Then the pain stopped and all she felt was boiling water being released within her. Then, her consciousness slipped again, falling back into the darkness to combat the pain.

When she came to, eyes open and blinking back dizziness, she got his attention immediately. He was driving. She was supposed to be in the hospital, recovering from surgery.

But she knew that wasn’t what took place.

Not when she realized the boiling water from earlier was now dried cum and flaky blood, all from her private parts and around it. Bruises from pressed fingers were on her skin too, but they’d be gone in a day or two.

Joel lied. She knew. Ellie wasn’t fucking dumb and she wanted to scream that at him.

Several nights later, he forced her on her back to taste her. She hated it at first.

But Ellie still loved him. She just wished they went about it differently. But if he asked, she’d still say no.

It was hard to not give in, especially when he fit his tongue in her. It was an adrenaline rush, especially when he forcefully parted her legs. His mouth was weird and his beard scratchy, and a girl wouldn’t treat her like this but it was too good.

Ellie came around his tongue because how could she not?

Joel hovered over her. He didn’t kiss her, didn’t do anything but stare at her. Like he saw a different being than the mere child she was.

Ellie thought of all the people and the infected he killed throughout their travel all night long. She mourned Riley, Tess, Bill and Frank, and the fireflies and everyone and everything in between. She turned her head to see his sleeping figure and sighed, knowing that he was right.

Ellie was like a cub. She needed him no matter how many times she insists she could be independent. Because the thing is, she could do nothing without Joel. She was only alive because of him, several times over.

She didn’t sleep soundly though.

The trek through the woods the next day to the Jackson commune was spent with Joel surprisingly talking about Sarah. Ellie recalls Sarah would be twice her age at that moment and Joel still touched her (when he shouldn’t.)

Ellie was confused and still a bit numb. But at least he answered her when he did. She wondered what it was like for him to take advantage of her sleeping form. All she felt was pain. She was numb.

Ellie stood in place connecting the dots.

She wanted the pain.

Could she feel it again?

“Joel,” she started, pretending to be nervous, and she bit her lip, “what if no one there likes me?” she asked as she tugged at his sleeve, like a little kid would. Joel’s eyes softened at her and Ellie didn’t know why her heart thumped a bit more.

“They’ll like you, you’re amazing,” he said, his hand coming to her shoulder reassuringly. Odd.

“What if,” she started; there’s no going back now, “what if someone there, my age, wants to date me? If they like me,”

Joel didn’t look too reassuring anymore.

“I won’t allow that,” he replied, leaning closer into her space. She swallowed dryly.

“But, you said you’re not my dad, and I’m not your daughter, so,” she trailed off, sounding nervous, but instead of feigning, it was real. He was mad.

“Take your pants off,”

“No,”

But that’s what happened. He pushed her roughly to a tree, the closest one with thick scratchy bark. Her cheek was pressed against it and it cut only a tiny bit. A bit of blood dropped onto her lip and it hurt.

Oh, it hurt.

Ellie felt him take off her shoes, and she stood frozen, letting him puppet her body. She had no more underwear, her only found pair he ripped. Her cunt was exposed to the air and for a fleeting moment, she was worried about losing her virginity.

But that was already gone.

She figured Joel would’ve taken her right then and there, but no, he got on his knees. She was confused until she felt his tongue on her pussy and she moaned at the feeling, hating how it felt so good.

But she wanted pain and this wasn’t that.

Ellie grabbed Joel’s curls from behind and forced him to lick deeper, and he did. She thought he’d get angry.

She breathed out, looking around in shame. She thought about her plan because she shouldn’t say it, it was downright disrespectful. But she would understand.

“Riley,” Ellie moaned and that did the trick right away. She gasped when he pulled away and pushed her against the bark, nudging her legs to spread.

Joel didn’t finger her, instead, he slowly inserted his hard cock in her. She screamed, feeling the pain she wasn’t used to.

And she loved it.

Ellie lost track of everything, of time and space as he pounded into her. He talked about her being his, no one being allowed near her, and that only she can say his name. She responded with a mix of cuss words and-

“Yes, harder!” She said as he picked up the pace rapidly. She felt her young body be manipulated up and down after a while like she was a toy for him.

“You’re mine,” he said in her ear before biting down on it painfully as he spilled his cum in her.

Ellie didn’t finish but rightfully so. She deserved it she thought. She put him through a lot of hell. But the feeling of pain and possessiveness she felt was addicting.

Ellie got herself ready again, watching as he walked away, tucking himself back in his jeans, and she noticed fresh blood and cum pour from her cunt. She ran a finger through the mess and stared at it.

It was pretty and what she deserved.

Ellie loved Joel but he didn’t need to know she was beginning to love the violence too.

Chapter Text

It was weird living in a house when all you did for the majority of the year was travel.

Ellie insisted on moving into the garage but Joel said no. So, she stayed with him in the house. Because despite everything he’s done to her, for her, and will do, she needs him; they both knew that and just remained tight-lipped about it.

Ellie lives her life, albeit numbly. She can’t forget the hell she’s been through. She can’t forget the people that died and the memories in between each and every one of them. But, Joel teaches her guitar, she’s still a bit feral for going to school so she learns at home, and she survives. That about sums up Ellie’s existence.

Surviving.

Joel stares at her often and she’s learned to ignore it. That part doesn’t bother her as much anymore as the fact that he doesn’t touch her. That’s the problem.

For someone who was hellbent on raping her, he sure didn’t seem to want to anymore.

“Going to shower,” Ellie said suddenly, shifting his guitar (he calls it a ‘gii-tar’ in an accent, and it shouldn’t be as cute as it sounds) off her lap, into his, and leaves for her room upstairs.

Ellie loves showers, through and through. The heated water did wonders for her ever-constant stressing and sometimes she’d just sit in the corner of the tiled stall and think.

The teen glanced down at her soaking hair and she knew soon she’d have to ask Maria to cut it. But that notion was just exhausting to even think about, let alone do.

Ellie is so tired. She thinks she has what people would’ve called ‘insomnia’ back in the day before the infected came along. She stays up all night and all morning. Nothing helps and she’s too nervous to sleep deeply. Maybe because she is a stubborn teen or maybe because of the man she lives with.

Either way.

Ellie looked at the pink razor on the stall's little shelf and wondered if she should put it to use. Maria had given it to her a while ago and it was new from a dusty plastic package. Ellie eyed it when she grabbed it, turning it skillfully in her hands.

It worked at first when she went over her legs until it didn’t. She nicked herself twice, on both legs, and the water running over the cuts stung sharply. Ellie cursed as she turned off the running water and scrambled out of the stall.

The teen briskly walked back into her room, wrapping her towel around her body, and stopped when she noticed the intruder.

There Joel stood at her nightstand, looking at one of her books. Ellie’s heart started pounding faster, and harder, and she remembered what Joel could do. Especially in the safety of her now locked room.

Rape. Kill her. Torture. He could do it all. Whatever he wanted.

Ellie tried to tell herself the wetness growing in between her legs was from the shower water.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Joel asked, nodding towards her bare legs that were still bleeding profusely and all Ellie could do was nod in response.

She felt like a child that got caught doing something they weren’t supposed to do.

“How?”

“I tried shaving for the first time,”

Joel snorted and set her book down. Was he laughing at her?

“We don’t have shaving cream; did you do it with just water?

“It’s not funny,” Ellie said stubbornly. It hurt like a bitch is what it was.

“I have bandaids-,” she started, “In the top drawer,” Joel finished for her, already rifling through her nightstand. She didn’t know how he knew, but he did.

Ellie wordlessly sat on the edge of her bed and looked down, watching as the little cuts bled, mixing with the water droplets. Joel crouched in front of her, using a tissue to dab at the blood. The teen swallowed; she felt like a child who got a ‘booboo’.

Joel must’ve thought the same as he leaned forward to kiss every cut, the blood and all. It was innocent pecks but it sent ice throughout Ellie’s little body. He placed the bandaids so gently on her, a stark contrast to how he used to kill so brutally.

“I used to kiss Sarah’s injuries. She played soccer and always scrapped her legs up,” he said in the middle of it all.

Once done, Joel rubbed at her knees, looking up at her. Ellie’s breath hiccuped when he parted her legs, her towel loosening. She let herself fall back onto the bed, her towel under her by that point. She was naked and her nipples hardened under the air. Joel saw it all from where he stood up, eyes dark in thought.

Joel stared and before Ellie could snap if he was going to do anything or not, he went through her drawer again.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“This,” Joel responded, holding up a little vial of lotion Maria made a while ago. Ellie hadn’t used it once.

“Used to do this for Sarah when she was smaller, sensitive skin,” he explained as he dipped his fingers into the cream, bringing forth a white glob. Ellie doubted he touched Sarah as he did her.

He lost his marbles when he lost her. And Ellie felt bad for him.

Ellie felt as Joel rubbed all over her body, smoothing the homemade lotion everywhere. It was quite pleasant if she was being honest; he worked out knots she didn’t know she had, in her thighs, arms, and calves.

“Flip,” he rumbled out and she obeyed, but only because it felt good. No other reason.

Joel’s hands were huge and roughed up but they did wonders on her back and her slim hips. She did hold back a gasp as he rubbed the lotion into the skin of her ass, feeling him knead her flesh; she realized it fit entirely in his hands and that was almost embarrassing in a way. How little she was compared to the man, never failed to either amaze her or make her nervous.

Joel got every inch of her skin.

Then, he was in her.

Ellie bit her lip as a thick finger entered her. Of course, he didn’t ask. He continued rubbing her hip with his free hand and lazily pumped his finger in and out. He shouldn’t be doing this. Everything was fine and innocent at first because she was a child but-

“I’m fourteen,” Ellie snapped, tears beading in her eyes at the sharp intrusion. It’s been a minute since he touched her and it hurt, more so than she would’ve liked.

“I know,” he whispered as he didn’t stop moving.

“I’m a child!”

Then there was silence. She almost thought he woke up to reality.

Until Joel unbuckled his belt, dragged her closer to the edge of the bed (her tippy toes couldn’t quite get to the floor in that position though), and entered his cock in her roughly.

“I know,” he said again and didn’t give her time to prepare and adjust before he started slowly using her body. Ellie cried into her arms. She hated it and loved it. Hated it because he didn’t fucking asked and was a creep. Loved it because she knew no one else will love her.

Joel passed her the crappy stuffed animal he’d gifted her their first week there and she didn’t hesitate in holding onto the poor stuffed rabbit as he abused her cunt. Ellie cried, biting onto the floppy ears of the toy, letting her eyes roll to the back of her head.

“Fuck,” she squealed sharply as his hand came down onto her ass. She’d tightened by accident, she thinks as he felt bigger, and so he did it again.

“You’re perfect, all mine babygirl,” he growled as he pulled out and handled her up. The teen was confused until she was roughly moved onto her back, bunny still in her hands, teeth still nibbling down, until he entered her again.

“Who is the only one who loves you?” Joel asked as he spread her legs so far apart she thought she’d rip but his cock was the only thing keeping her grounded to the earth.

“You,” she said through a sob, and she wiped her tears, ignoring her small, bouncing breasts, because it was true. He was the only one.

“Damn right,” he growled as his hand came to rub at her clit. Ellie arched into the feeling because she fucking loved it, hated it, but loved it. It was such lovely torture.

“Please stop,” Ellie said, muffled by her toy. Joel ignored her and she begged, uselessly pleaded for him to stop, just to give her a break, she can’t breathe and-

Ellie moaned as she felt his cum enter her; it was too hot, too heated, it was the boiling water all over again. So, she cried like a child, especially when he pulled out. She probably looked a mess.

Her small teenage body shook with sobs as she held onto her stuffed toy, small cunt leaking his spend. It didn’t last long as he put his fingers back in her, thumb at her button, making her climax.

Ellie was powerless as she kept getting touched repeatedly. She came and lost track after two, and she thinks he entered her again for a brief while. But she didn’t know, because her eyes were swollen and her body went numb.

Ellie does remember when she embraced sleep wholeheartedly and recalled vaguely being tucked into bed with a kiss on her forehead, bidding her an early goodnight.

Chapter Text

Joel’s little one became distanced and probably, rightfully so.

She was a growing girl and once upon a time, he had a teenage daughter. The mood swings weren’t new to him but it had been some time. They did spend months on end together so he allowed them the space out of the goodness of his heart.

Didn’t mean she could move into the garage though.

To combat the distance, he got her gifts and cooked for her, made sure he traded things for clothes for her; anything he could do, he tried. Some would say it was excessive, a bit odd, and there was a term in the back of his head, one before the pandemic, but he couldn’t quite remember.

Little girls loved all those sorts of things anyway and as her guardian, it was only right to spoil her, show her he thought of her. The ‘constantly’ part was left unspoken.

Joel tried to not touch her anymore. He’d hate to scare her too much but sometimes it was hard. Like when he touched her after her shower.

It was innocent. It reminded him of when Sarah was a tiny girl, with the most sensitive skin on planet earth, and she’d toddle out of the bath water, and with no mother around, it was up to Joel to rub lotion on her afterward. Sarah would giggle at the ticklish feeling on her arms and she and Joel would banter in whatever English she knew at the moment.

So, it was innocent. At first. ‘Was’ being the keyword.

Joel bandaged Ellie’s little cuts, made sure to kiss them better, and it went from there. It wasn’t his fault Ellie was different. She had a perfect, lithe little body, and as she laid there, he felt his resolve weaken.

And soon enough, he was in her, with no thoughts in his mind. Ellie took up everything within himself, every single thought. She held the stuffed animal he gifted her as he pounded into her, so that was a good sign to him.

After that, he restrained himself better. It just had to be done, drawing it all out.

Until it was midsummer, one evening, and he couldn’t help but stare at Ellie, who had just gotten out of a shower. She was fully clothed but due to the heat, she wasn’t wearing much. Skimpy little shorts and a cute tank top, no socks.

She politely asked him to make her a sandwich and if he couldn’t, if she could get around in the kitchen.

Joel did as asked since she never asked anything of him anymore. He watched as she ate, happy he was providing for her. He was practically purring on the inside, happy and content knowing she was opening back up to him.

He could wait longer.

Until she asked again, a few days later. Again, she wanted the same meal for dinner, tugging her hair in a ponytail whilst doing so. Her thin arms were up and her nipples were poking through the fabric of his t-shirt.

His t-shirt.

Joel didn’t realize he was gently (he hoped it was gentle, it was like he wasn’t there anymore) hauling her onto the countertop. He kissed her neck, licking the faint aftertaste of vanilla soap, and soon, her shirt was off.

Ellie didn’t bother to say stop but then again, she never said yes.

The teen whined, a hand carding through his hair as he palmed at her breasts and sucked on her nipples, teasing the tiny things. She undid her little shorts rapidly; either she wanted him or wanted it all over with, Joel didn’t know and didn’t care.

Because soon, his head was in between her slim thighs, tongue in her wet cunt, and his knees on the hardwood kitchen floor. Ellie was his favorite meal, her taste was so natural and sweet. Her youth was angelic, her whining music and her moans relaxing.

Joel forgot to put his fingers in her to stretch her. He was a desperate, weak man, what can he say.

Ellie almost screamed when his cock entered her, but her hand came to her mouth to stop herself. He made sure to coo a good girl at her for that. She bled slightly again, probably due to no use, and because she was still so young. Her cunt was small and despite eating more often in the safety of their community, her tummy remained flat.

Until his cock was in her.

“C’mere babygirl, feel that,” Joel growled out as he pushed as far as he could possibly go. Ellie’s whole frame was trembling, pussy tightening, and she was combatting tears; Joel manhandled one of her palms to meet the slight bulge and she grew confused for a second.

“That’s me,” Joel said and Ellie released a few more tears, it was pathetic really.

Joel spread her legs to an unbearable distance and looked down to see where they were connected. A thin sheen of blood was on his cock, almost pink it was that little of an amount and diluted with his saliva. Her clit was impossibly small; Ellie was just small in general.

What did she say that one time? She was fourteen, just a child? Yeah, that.

“You’re my babygirl, you know that right?” Joel asked softly as he rolled his hips, getting his dick deep in her. Her cunt was slippery and ridged perfectly so.

Ellie nodded pitifully but that just grated on his nerves for some reason. If she was going to answer him, he needed a real one.

“You know that, right?” He asked more sharply, tugging her hair to look at him. This almost reminded him of that time he interrogated and tortured some men to find her. That was forever ago, decades, centuries, for all he knew, but this was now.

“I’m yours! Only you love me!” Ellie cried, her bottom lip bleeding from where she accidentally bit it while he tugged her hair. Her cunt tightened, more than it already was, hugging him in a vice-like grip.

“Good,” was all he could respond with before fucking into her, going his pace, his way. And she just had to follow. She was good at doing just that, being his babygirl and listening well.

He came deep into her and prolonged pulling out. Ellie had stopped crying but her little lips, still bloody and raw, were trembling. Joel pinched her bottom lip, watching as her eyes followed him; he spread the blood around her lips and then sucked his thumb.

He was addicted to the taste of her.

Especially the taste of his spend in her; he overstimulated her after that, as he lost control, and ate her out again, licking every drop of his cum out of her cunt.

Ellie can become distanced all she wanted, but at the end of the day, she was his babygirl and they both knew it, for she cried Joel’s name for hours that evening, never once saying no. Or, saying yes.

Chapter Text

Life wasn’t so bad in Jackson once Ellie got used to it. It was busy but also slow at the same time ironically.

She lived with Joel. Saw him every single day, unless on some days he was out working longer, or she did her homework well into the night by herself because fuck math. She also did her fair share of work, everyone having to pull their weight in the commune.

But all Ellie could think of was what was taken from her, from the very man she loved.

Once loved? It was hard to decipher at this point. She had a developing crush on him while they traveled, how could she not? He protected her. Cared for her. Killed for her. But she liked girls. Ellie liked girls a lot.

It was all so confusing to the fourteen-year-old.

But then he took advantage of her. That changed everything. It made everything, all the confusion, so much worse. It was always a mix of feelings whenever she thought too hard.

Maybe she should feel flattered? He knew the consequences of course. Maybe he deemed her worth it. He did kill a whole hospital for her, traveled America for her, etc. Maybe Ellie should just leave everything in the past and cheer up.

But it was all still troubling and whenever the young girl thought a bit too hard on it, her lips would tremble and her eyes would water. It just wasn’t fair. She could’ve saved humanity.

So what if she would’ve died to do so?

And whenever she would think that, she’d look up, and glance at the man who lost so much. Lost people for her.

No matter how many times he had hurt others or Ellie herself, she couldn’t find it in her to hate him. Or, even be mad at him for too long. If she wasn’t as stubborn as she naturally was, then she’d be fucked completely.

But, if she was being truthful, she liked how peaceful he became. Joel settled a bit, especially when the days started blending together. He was practically feral during their cross-country trip so it was nice to see him not always be on the defense 24/7.

He still had his moments, many, such as nightmares where he woke up mumbling intensely or afternoons spent clutching at his heart if he remembered something painful.

Ellie didn’t help when it happened but she didn’t stay idle either. Despite not being keen on touching anyone in general anymore, she did it for him because she knew he’d do it for her. He has done so much for her, it was the least she could do. She’d hold his hand and he’d grip it tightly, needing to be grounded. And they’d stay like that until he pulled away, ready and good.

Joel still touched her and Ellie was used to it by now.

The man would pull her on his lap like she weighed nothing and he’d teach her something about a guitar, one he had found eventually. It was actually cool and sometimes he’d get an erection and sometimes not. It depended she guessed.

Sometimes when he got nightmares, Ellie couldn’t help but slink into his bed. She’d be spooned against his chest, her behind pressed against his pelvis. He’d be too shaken up and he’d fall asleep and Ellie never knew whether to take that personally or relax.

But either way, he was a better man. Calm and hardworking. He didn’t even frighten her as much. Touching her would come and go.

Ellie liked Jackson so far. Maybe she was a bit closed off from others but she didn’t mind that. Girls would try to befriend her and boys tried to talk to her but she couldn’t do it. Not yet. She’s been through a lot.

But, despite what happens with Joel, Ellie liked seeing Tommy and Maria.

Tommy was cool. He’d tell her about the man Joel used to be, mainly good things. Maria would say, what she knew, about the bad. Ellie used to be defensive, the feeling would come and go, it just depended. Sometimes she’d be quiet listening to the older lady, and other times she would snap and declare her opinion.

Joel wasn’t a bad man.

Joel just did bad things.

And Ellie made sure to say that out loud. Maybe even repeat it to herself mentally. Maybe too often.

Ellie glanced up from where she was lost in thought, petting a horse's head. It was September, the weather was getting a bit cold, and she was bundled up, warm as could be. But she felt like something was wrong, sending chills down her back; especially when she caught Joel’s eyes and he didn’t look happy with her all of a sudden.

_______________

His little one was good so far.

Ellie was perfect really. Maybe a bit too perfect. The way she simply existed was too much to bare. The way she interacted with the animals, with him, and just lived, was so much, and yet, in a way, not enough.

Joel knew he stared at her a bit too much to be considered normal. People have even equated him to be her surrogate father for doing so. Maybe he was in a sense. He could see why people would think that. They did live together and he was much, much older.

He wouldn’t mind if Ellie called him dad.

Joel preferred keeping his eyes on her when he could. When she would sit right across from him at the dining table, when she would sit on his lap, and when she would sneak into his bed sometimes. When he could, he looked.

He supposed he wasn’t the only one.

“That boy sure likes our Ellie,” Tommy stated softly one afternoon, referencing to a boy staring at her a ways away. Joel, Tommy, and Ellie were out working with the animals near the pens. His little one was of course distracted, staring off into space as usual, quietly, while petting a horse she favored.

Joel felt his hot blood turn to cold iron as he registered what his younger brother said.

“That kid eyes her all the time, forgot his name though,” Tommy said with an ignorant smile as he worked, “she’s a pretty thing, bet she’ll have a long line of boys waiting, maybe even girls, when she gets out more,” his younger brother rambled, stacking piles of hay on top of one another.

Joel glanced over at Ellie who in turn did the same.

She looked cold. The weather wasn’t bad. But surely she was shaking. Lord knew Joel was. Whether from anxiety, a sudden onslaught of unnamed fear, or maybe, possessiveness, he didn’t know nor care.

“Hey, you good to do this by yourself?” Joel asked and his brother nodded immediately, like the kind soul he was.

“Ellie,” Joel called out. He watched as she hesitated for a moment, giving the damn horse one more pet, before scurrying to him.

“Is everything okay?” Ellie asked in a tiny whisper as they walked home and Joel nodded. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t felt like this in a minute.

His little one needed to know who she belonged to, who she was. Joel will make sure to tell Ellie her place and put her there himself.

“Go shower,” Joel instructed, once they entered the house, as he went into the kitchen. He needed a stiff drink. But his little one stood lost. Almost numb looking. She must’ve been colder than she let on.

“Go shower now Ellie, in mine, then wait on my bed,” he said, filling a glass with bourbon. He needed something to set the edge off.

“Naked?” His baby asked softly. Joel nodded in affirmation. She stood for one more moment before slowly going up the steps.

A while had passed as Joel stared into his now empty glass, leaning against the kitchen island.

Did Ellie love him as much as he loved her? Or, deep down, did they both share that disdain for one another? Both killed people for one another, in different ways. He still blamed her for Tess and Ellie hated him for the hospital.

Did their mutual hate just blend seamlessly into one another like burning candle wax in the process? Or better yet, was the wax frozen, long forgotten, and not willing to be set aflame again?

Sarah used to like candles.

His heart did that pinching feeling it did when he thought about her and his hand gripped at his clothed chest as a result. He blinked away the pain, gone as quickly as it came. Joel looked at his empty glass and realized his little one was waiting upstairs.

For him.

Joel made his way up the stairs, making sure she heard him. With every step, he was closer to her. What did he say all those months ago? Ellie was a cub and he was the bear?

Lately, she was more like prey. Like a bunny. No, she still had her independent, sassy moments. A puppy perhaps.

Joel entered his room and there she was, shivering and staring up at him, her hair long enough to cover her growing breasts. He must’ve kept her waiting a bit too long, for she was dry and her hair only damp.

He stood in front of her and stared. Ellie’s pretty brown eyes stared back, looking so brave for such a little girl.

“You’re a little girl, aren’t you?” Joel whispered and cupped her face. He already knew the answer. Her eyes widened, pupils dilating until her brown ceased to exist. She nodded and a tear spilled out, but she seemed numb to it. Joel dipped his thumb where it stayed on her cheek and brought his thumb to her mouth.

“Suck little one,” he instructed and Ellie trembled but listened well. Her tongue was warm and wet under his thumb; Joel swallowed his pooling saliva at the sight of how submissive she was acting.

“Do you like anyone, baby?” Joel found himself asking as she pulled off his thumb. She looked at him wide-eyed and shook her head no.

“Not even me?”

Ellie stilled and glanced down. She was regressing back into that quiet state again, like after that cannibal. But Joel was different. He sacrificed a whole damn lot for the little girl in front of him. He’s done what he could.

Joel protected her. He did what he couldn’t the first time around.

He wasn’t a bad man. He cared for her. Did everything he could and still does.

Ellie needs to learn to be more appreciative.

“Bend over on the bed,” Joel said.

Ellie visibly froze, looking like a deer in headlights. So, Joel moved her himself, displaying both his natural strength and how he could do so much more. He couldn’t find it in himself to hate how he was acting. She had a lesson to learn.

Joel stared at Ellie’s little ass. Pale, just like the rest of her. Unmarked. He’ll change that.

He remembered vaguely of spanking Sarah once, when she was a toddler, over his knee when she threw the world's biggest tantrum. Practically shook the walls with her cries but she quieted down once she got a good swat.

What was he thinking earlier? People thought Joel was Ellie’s father and no one corrected them? Even Tommy, now that he thought about it.

“Who am I?” He asked and heard her breath hitch.

“Joel,” she said. She was right but not so.

“No, I’m not,”

“Wha-“

“How old are you?” Joel asked, he knew the answer, just wanted to hear it, and Ellie whined as he started to palm at her ass. He collected a bit of her wetness from her cunt, actually amazed at how wet she was. She’s never felt so aroused, she was so slicked up.

“I’m fourteen,”

“I’m going to spank you for every year you’ve been alive. Don’t ask me why and I want you to count out loud. This is just how it is, okay babygirl?” He asked but it wasn’t really a question. A warning for her, whether she was ready or not.

His hand came down upon a cheek of hers, and she flinched with an audible gasp.

“One, one Joel,”

“Good but that’s not my name,” he said right before striking the same spot; he wanted one side of her to hurt. To hurt bad. To make up for that hurt part of him that will never heal, no matter how many times he flinches or Ellie tries so desperately to sew up.

“Two, fuck!”

“Think of who I,” Joel paused, needing to correct himself, swallowing the lump in his throat whilst rubbing her back, “who I once was,”

“A smuggler? God, three,” she gasped out, already so sensitive to the assaults on her.

“You’re not wrong,” he whispered, smoothing the irritated cheek; red was already blooming upon her pale skin. Joel wondered what the pain on his palm would feel like, but his hands were calloused.

His skin protects himself and deals punishment against hers. It should be the other way around, but for once, it felt good to have the roles reversed.

If Joel was a better man, which he knew he wasn’t, maybe he’d let a sliver of guilt seep into his soul, like how ice cubes melted eventually in his drinks. But he wasn’t a better man. Not by a long shot. Especially when he saw a clear, little drop of Ellie’s arousal run down her thin thigh.

His little one made it until nine when she started sobbing.

“Nine! I don’t know!” She screamed into the pillow and Joel watched as her ass cheeks were so red, already forming what may look like bruises, and if he was right, which he normally was, her left cheek had a paper-thin cut. He pulled her by her hair and yanked a bit, which might be a lot to her.

“It’s a name,” he whispered in her ear before stuffing her head down onto the bed. His hand came down on her now reddened skin.

“Ten! You were-“ Ellie choked as she cried. Seems like she finally figured it out.

“A father, a father, I’m right, right? Fuck! Eleven!”

“You’re on the right path,” Joel said, watching as the cut only grew bigger. Red seeped from the small wound and he was tempted to lick from it; take what was hers like how things of his were taken.

“No, no, don’t make me say- twelve,” Ellie whimpered out. Her throat sounded raw.

“Daddy. You were a daddy,” she said sobbing, her little thin frame trembling.

Joel dealt the rest of her spankings and reveled in how upset she was. He rewarded her good behavior by getting on his knees and licking her wounds; bruises, tiny little welts, and the two cut marks on her ass. He lapped at it like a damn dog but he didn’t care. He licked her cunt, but only for a moment, just wanting a taste.

There was more to be done.

“I’m going to train you,” Joel said as he stood back up and pulled her ass against his erection in his pants, “you’re going to blow me and then I may consider getting you off. But either way,” he trailed off, making sure his unbuckling was loud.

Maybe next time he’d bring his belt into the equation of spanking her, if she ever acted out again, or went too quiet. He’d figured that out later.

“It fucking hurts,” Ellie said, sitting up on her shaky arms. Joel didn’t care. She knew that too. She shut her mouth shut and winced as she got herself on the hardwood floor. It probably hurt to be on her knees but Joel believes she could manage.

Apparently not.

Ellie shifted into a W sitting position at the same time as Joel settled on the bed, cock out. His heart pinched itself again.

Sarah used to sit like that.

In front of the tv as a toddler, on the grass in the summer, and on her bed as she read. It was bad for the pelvis or the legs in general, especially in growing girls. But he never forbade her because it was comfortable and how could he deny his little girl?

“Daddy?” Ellie spoke, looking up at him. Dried tears on her face and her shaking calming down.

“Go on, do this for daddy, little one,” Joel whispered immediately, heart going back into sync with the name. But he felt sad, trying to not sound weak but Ellie noticed. He watched as she looked how she normally did when he turned pathetic.

Their power imbalance was fucked and so was Joel.

“Good girl,” he sighed as she took his cock in her warm, wet mouth, for the first time. He patted her hair affectionately.

“No teeth. Just suckle,” he instructed looking down at her. Her mouth was stretched, the poor thing. It felt good though.

Ellie cried a bit more, tears falling on her cheeks, but moved her head nonetheless, bobbing so sweetly. He lost himself in the sensation of her heavenly mouth and for once, finally, let himself relax.

“Off,” he said and she obeyed after stalling for a minute, and pulled off of him. Ellie’s face was red, unbelievably so, so swollen.

God, Joel wanted to slap her to give her a real reason to cry.

“On the bed, all fours,” he said, tilting his head. She groaned getting off the floor and so he helped her, really manhandled her, onto his bed. His little one cried a bit more, ass probably stinging.

He slapped her ass one more time, just to show her who was still in charge. Because it certainly wasn’t Ellie.

No, Ellie was a little girl. A young teen, his little one. A cub, a puppy. There are words for her besides ‘perfect’. Too many to count.

Joel didn’t prepare her pussy. The tighter the better, at least for the man, for him. She screamed into the pillow, biting down as he got his cock in her and started to immediately thrust shallowly. He felt like she was splitting apart around him.

So pure.

“You’re my little lamb, aren’t you? My baby, you’re mine,” Joel said, wrapping his hands around her thin waist and proceeding to quicken his thrusts. He was aiming for his orgasm first.

Joel will worry about Ellie later.

“Daddy, daddy,” Ellie moaned under him, repeating it dumbly, for his attention presumably. Like how Sarah used to do when she wanted to show him an art project she did in class or when she scored a goal.

He shook his head no at the thought. He was here in the now, Jackson, Wyoming, and fucking his…his little one.

Ellie.

He didn’t have Sarah anymore. But he did have Ellie.

“I’ll take what I can get,” Joel found himself muttering as he spanked her ass again to feel her tighten like a vice, staying like that for a good long moment. Wait.

“Did you finish?” Joel asked and hauled her up against his chest, cock going even deeper in her in the position. Ellie’s mouth opened in shock and he took her by her throat; not choking her, just holding it a tad too tightly.

“Yes daddy,” she whined as he pounded into her with fervor. Ellie leaned her head against his shoulder and turned her head, hauling him in for a kiss. This had to be one the first she’s instigated and he accepted.

“Cum in me daddy,” Ellie whispered against his lips and Joel couldn’t take it anymore. His thrusting became sporadic with speed until he released his spend in her.

Ellie sighed as she kissed him for once, holding his face and shaking in his arms. Her little tongue silently asked permission to enter his mouth and he granted it, holding her close.

Maybe, Joel and Ellie were starting to love each other again, in the only ways they know how.

Joel felt like maybe, just maybe, the once melted, cold wax of hate was relit, in hopes that it could be used again for much-needed light.

Chapter Text

“Joel, hurry up,”

“Just wait,”

“I don’t think so, I think I’ll just go,”

“Ellie,”

“Joel, I’m gonna be late,”

“You’re not gonna be late kid,”

The two went back and forth as Joel filled up the bathtub with water, various homemade soaps at the ready to the side. The back and forth between them wasn’t tense but it wasn’t easy going as well.

Ellie was nervous.

Not because she’d be undressing in a mere minute or two in front of Joel, no, that she was used to. Used to being bare to him was second nature at that point, exposed for only him to see and explore. She grew accustomed to it and she knew she’d always have to be. It was getting easier to mind it less and less, so there was always that.

She was only nervous, her stomach churning with anxiety, because Maria would be making her ‘go to the movies’ with the kids of Jackson. Ellie hadn’t been in a while, too cooped up in her home. It was just easier for her. At least there, she’d know what to expect.

But out there? It was hard.

But Maria was the leader of Jackson and it was pretty damn hard saying no to her; she was also Tommy’s wife, who is Joel’s brother, so no matter what, by default, Ellie wouldn’t hear the end of it until she would finally agree.

Ellie sighed softly at the thought, and at the same time Joel stood up. The man turned towards her, always towering over her, both in height, age, and power.

The teen supposed she’d never get used to the jumping feeling her heart makes when she sees him. It would never go away but she’d accepted it.

She also learned to expect it. It would always come. He would always be there for her, whether she liked it or not. Preferred it or not. There would be no escaping it and she came to terms with it. Joel loved her, in his odd, slightly (incredibly) awful ways. But Ellie can’t lie and say she felt the same, only sometimes.

She still never knew how to think of that dark side in her. Who had liked seeing Joel kill that FEDRA soldier for her in the beginning, so, so long ago, it felt like light years away. Who had liked stabbing the infected under the rubble, who had killed David with the uncountable whacks of a knife she had somehow, someway managed to grab.

There was so much violence she had idolized until she simply couldn’t, snapping way before her breaking point.

Despite what Joel has done to her, he shouldn’t see that side of her. Maybe it made her too vulnerable.

Or too strong.

Ellie furrowed her eyebrows at the thought but that caught Joel’s attention. He gently cupped her face, tilting her head up to face him. At first, when he first started hurting her, she couldn’t look him in the eyes she once grew akin to safety, to a then terror of the thought of what could he possibly do next.

But it bled away over time. Just like how the seasons changed very smoothly in Wyoming.

But, then again, Ellie was a bit of a homebody. Maybe it could still be winter; she wouldn’t know.

But after some time, it was easy to get lost in the man’s brown eyes. Ones that could be so hard yet so soft, making her melt against her will.

So Ellie didn’t tremble as much anymore. She supposed that was a good sign, for both of them. Joel slowly peeled her blue flannel off, well one of his, and put it on the sink counter neatly. She glanced up and obediently lifted her arms and soon, her tank top followed.

The young teen, since she stayed home more often than not, forwent her normal sports bras, unlike when she had traveled. It was much more comfortable than she’d care to admit but she let herself have that one bit of freedom.

Her nipples hardened under the air, ever so sensitive as of late. She looked down momentarily, watching with rapt attention as the buds stood stiff. Joel swallowed and Ellie, for a brief confusing moment, felt excited, for him to maybe touch her.

And that’s just what he did.

“You should ask,” Ellie said under her breath.

They had many talks on how important trust and consent was but it was like every time Joel saw her, his head emptied of any coherent thoughts.

“Damn- can I?” Joel choked out, throat sounding dry.

“Yes,” she replied, knowing deep down that he wouldn’t take no for an answer. But it’s okay because her nipples were being pinched delightfully so. Ellie couldn’t help but gasp at the sharp sensation, feeling chills run through her body.

Joel cupped her breasts in his hands, toying with them as he saw fit, and all Ellie could do was stand witness and feel every thrilling jolt of pleasure run through her body.

Ellie unbuttoned her shorts while Joel continued. She was still getting used to knowing what she wanted and then how to take it. It was still overwhelming, numbing at times. But she’s trying.

The young teen frantically pushed her shorts with her panties down, letting them pool at her ankles, before shuffling out. She went for Joel’s shirt but he stopped her. That was odd.

“We aren’t bathing together this time,” he said and she held a sigh in. She actually liked bathing with him. It was comforting and made her feel a bit more her age.

“Do you trust me?” Joel asked, just like he used to when traveling. It was like Ellie resolved back into the other version of herself; searching for fireflies, practically feral, and scared half to death every day.

Ellie breathed sharply in, being reminded who Joel was.

Torturer. Rapist. Killer. He’s done everything.

It was like looking at two Joels, always, at all times.

One Joel would keep her safe, protect her, do everything for her, and then some.

Then there was the second Joel after the hospital. He could’ve lost her and so he lost his mind, at the mere thought of it. Killing all those people for her, to get to her. Because without her, Joel would’ve been alone.

Ellie’s eyes widened at the thought, finally realizing everything, the best the fourteen-year-old could. The pieces came into place in her mind, clarity doing its job, and she finally breathed out, all whilst staring at the man.

“I trust you,” she responded in a whisper. But she didn’t let him respond as she stood on her tiptoes, held his face, and kissed him. Joel seemed shocked at her rare initiation but reciprocated immediately. Their hands skimmed over each other's bodies as their kiss deepened quite rapidly.

“The water will be freezing here in a minute,” Joel whispered in her neck after he moved away from her mouth before he bit at her skin. Ellie whined, head leaned back, and enjoying the touch of the older man.

“Who gives a fuck?” Ellie said, already aiming for his jeans.

“We’ll do this the second, the second you get back, okay babygirl?” Joel exclaimed, hand going to the back of her neck to look up at him. He had a dark look in his eyes but she knew he was holding back.

For her. For once.

“Promise?” she whispered and he nodded, eyes shaded and honing in only on her.

Ellie got in the bath and right away was being pampered by Joel. If she could purr she would, but she settled for little sighs when he washed her hair, whines when he washed her body, and light airy gasps as he got between her legs; cleaning first then inserting his thick fingers inside her once done.

She couldn’t see through the soapy bubbles of the water, but couldn’t care less when she felt so spoiled. She pondered on the thought of maybe she shouldn’t push him away so much.

The teen gasped as the subtle feel of his thick fingers went crooked inside her, only muted by the water. She could only feel so close to her climax; it was hard and Joel seemed to have taken mercy on her.

Ellie was quickly escorted from the tub, wrapped warmly in a towel, and led back to Joel’s bedroom. She indulged herself in kissing him and was oh so happy to palm at his thick bulge.

“Touch me,” Ellie pleaded whilst sitting on the bed, feeling like she’d die without his touch. Joel groaned and looked at his busted-up watch on his nightstand. He deflated, probably realizing they had time.

Ellie won.

Joel dived down for a kiss, crowding her against his bed. His tongue entered her mouth with no hesitation, staking claim like he owned her, and for once, Ellie didn’t mind that notion.

His hands were rough and calloused as always, both palming at her breasts and pinching at her nipples. Ellie keened at the feeling but it didn’t last long as he pulled away. The teen tilted her head down to see him unbuckle his pants rather loudly and she swallowed watching the veins in his hands appear prominent. She started to appreciate the sight of him, how rugged he truly was.

He was soon out of his pants and his shirt as well, everything gone in record time. Ellie bit at the tip of her thumb for a moment, taking it all in again mentally for the umpteenth time. He was much older. Has done so much more, lived longer, and had done too many evil acts to count.

The man, who was supposed to be her father figure, or that’s what everyone thought, leaned back down to her and pulled her in for a surprisingly sweet kiss.

“Don’t prepare me, just- oh,” Ellie moaned as her legs were spread for her and he was already rubbing at her clit with one hand and with his other, positioning himself to her tight entrance.

“Fuck,” she gritted out through her teeth as he pushed in. It always hurt like hell but it was better than numbness. Made her feel less alone too, and overall more alive.

Joel bottomed out in her, his pelvis brushing against her sensitive clit. She started kissing his neck in distraction, nipping at him, and he shuddered slightly.

“Joel, please move,” Ellie whispered against his mouth after a chaste peck. She needed it, she truly needed him.

She was afraid that she wasn’t scared to admit that anymore. On her accord, in her own truth, that she needed him. Despite the past mixed with fear and grief.

He hesitated before slowly pulling out and then shallowly pushing back into her. Ellie couldn’t help the low moan that escaped her, feeling the sheer size of him; she craned her head back as she practically feel Joel return to his darker self, not the man who babies her, doing everything he can for her, but uses her instead.

She stared up at the lazily spinning ceiling fan until her eyes rolled to the back of her head as his hand found her clit again. She knew she felt tight around him, she could feel it, but it was like everything was different.

Ellie sighed happily when Joel moved to kiss her exposed chest and surrounding area at random. His grunts of pleasure were that of a man enjoying himself, taking what he wanted.

Maybe, from another perspective, what he was owed.

Ellie climaxed suddenly around his cock and her clit spasmed against his finger pads. She arched her back by instinct, and as result, took him in even further.

It felt feral, how downright passionate they were being. Kissing where they could, their mouths exploring everywhere, her nails raking scratches across his broad shoulders and back, their noises combining, everything was happening all at once.

“Joel,” Ellie whispered as she came around him again; his thrusts were becoming sporadic, as usual when he was about to cum.

Ellie knew the familiar burn would soon arrive but the tears in her eyes weren’t due to nervousness. Joel had his face in her neck, whispering sweet nonsense that blended into one. She played with his head of curls, running her fingers through his hair, as he used her cunt.

Joel didn’t warn her before finishing, but that was alright, she was used to it. Ellie whimpered when his hips stuttered, suddenly feeling the all too familiar searing heat, the man above emptying himself inside her. Maybe she should worry about that little detail but it was hard to when they went back to kiss, distractedly riding out their pleasurable highs together.

They breathed together for a moment and all too soon, Ellie, the fourteen-year-old girl, had to get ready to be with children her own age.

Ellie did end up running late, Joel’s watch was broken after all.

____

Ellie’s night wasn’t going exactly the way she would like it to. The young teen would like to be in her room, in her home, reading, and maybe falling asleep a bit past her bedtime.

But that’s just not how her life went. Maria was upset she was late and gave her a lecture, a goodhearted one though. Saying a bunch of different things that was half nagging half nurturing. Then she was ushered through Jackson and into the hall to be with kids that she didn’t even want to know.

It was hell.

Ellie skulked by the wall and only spoke when spoken to until that backfired. She would like to use the restroom due to Joel’s spend still in her, wetting her underwear, but she knew Maria would flip if she saw the girl missing before the movie even started.

It was uncomfortable sitting through the movie with the sticky cum sticking everywhere in her panties. But she remained vigilant, knowing if she sat through it then Maria wouldn’t bother her for a while. It would be worth it.

But Ellie did leave the second she could, despite Maria wanting to stay after the movie. The teen didn’t want to talk to her in all her honesty; she wanted a shower and to rest.

Joel had other plans of course.

That’s how Ellie found herself in the shower with him, pushed up against the wall as they kissed. His fingering helped get his leftover spend out, so she couldn’t complain. It was fiery, their tongues meeting over and over as the water pelted them. The teen moaned against his mouth and melted under his touch.

Especially when they were barely toweled off and he had her on his bed on all fours not too long after. They had washed in the shower thoroughly but they were just getting messy again; Ellie found herself enjoying it nonetheless. He was rougher than the previous round, helping himself to her body.

She moaned as Joel got to fucking her right away, handling her down in tandem with his thrusts. It hurt a bit due to the deep position but it was getting that spot in her she couldn’t deny that made her scream. She doubted she could get that pleasurable spot in her all by her herself, let alone another partner.

Ellie shouted as his thrusts quickened and as Joel pulled at her wet hair. It was too much, too fast, and she came without any extra stimulation. She was sensitive and it was a new feeling on that account, but she couldn’t find the time to ponder on that as he pulled out and flipped her on her back.

Joel moved her ankles to hook over his shoulders and she couldn’t make much noise but squeak as he moved deep into her. Her little hands gripped the dark blue bedsheets and held on for dear life as she felt herself become ruined, her young body exploited because of the much older man.

His hips started to stutter and she knew he’d already do it inside of her, so Ellie took the liberty of locking her ankles around his waist, keeping him all the way in her as he released his spend. She kissed him while he worked through it, needing a distraction from the heat.

“I’m so fucking tired,” Ellie said against his lips. She was tired from the day and, due to the double meaning, of so much else.

Losing people. From traveling America, even all those months ago. Of living in Jackson. Dealing with the guilt that she could’ve saved people, if not for the man panting above her, cock still nestled in her tight cunt. Tired of being bossed around.

Just, Ellie was exhausted. It always came crashing to her at odd times, memories going from repressed to piling onto her.

But she didn’t quite feel so alone, at least not in that moment.

Joel shushed her and pressed his mouth against hers, before trailing to her neck and stopping at her shoulders. He gently pulled out and she sighed at the empty feeling.

“Goodnight Joel,” Ellie said as she flipped onto her front, and smashed her face into one of his soft pillows. The man was soon to follow and she fell asleep to the sensation of him laying down next to her and rubbing her back.

Chapter Text

Ellie, his babygirl, was always so sweet looking when she slept.

She was once so used to hard ground, ratty-tatty sleeping bags, and what have you, but now slept comfortably in beds provided in his house. Their house.

His little one never slept much in her bed anymore, instead, recently, taken to his. His was bigger, she would say as she crawled in, and promptly passed out. It was endearing and if Joel was being honest, amusing. It was chuckle-worthy, watching as the now fifteen-year-old would lay her head on a pillow and soft breaths would follow shortly.

Ellie looked younger as she slept, truly showing her age. Skin naturally pale, cheeks reddening by morning from sleep; no wrinkles in sight, mouth pouty, and her body would curl up. Unless Joel held her body against his, then she couldn’t, but she would fall asleep regardless.

She was sweet. More open to him, in fact, dare he say, more dependent on him. Maybe he shouldn’t embrace that knowledge with open arms. Maybe he should stop, come to terms that they’re actually not together, and that she’s better off without him.

Not in his arms, in a bed down the hall, curled up in a ball, not being dragged by her small waist to slot against his pelvis.

But no, that just would not do.

Joel sighed as he watched her. Glancing over at his time on his, their nightstand read around between three am and four, his watch still broken after so many years. He was tired, having to patrol sooner than later, but he was becoming wanton in a way.

Ellie wore nothing but one of his flannels and some panties. She was asleep on her side, brown hair out of her signature ponytail. She looked sweet, innocent, and looked very much clean from the bath he gave her several hours ago.

Joel could feel himself hardening in his boxers from just staring at her.

He should go to sleep. They’ve had many, many talks on consent. Shared many lectures, and many tears were shed, sniffling both of themselves to sleep.

But she was his.

They both knew that. They’ve been through so much, before one another and together, and after. They’ll always be together in some form of way, always connected.

Joel sat up and gently nudged her shoulder so she could lie on her back. He couldn’t help himself, feeling his eyesight practically blur around the edges, even in the dark. He crawled to get near her, body in front of her knees; His hands softly met her oh-so-cold skin and he knew what she needed to get warm.

He rubbed at her skin, feeling at her flesh. The soft, little give of her skin being indented by his fingertips was thrilling, especially as he felt goosebumps start to form. Joel hummed under his breath and slowly parted her legs.

The panties were easy to rip off. Not too quiet, but he did it swiftly enough.

Joel couldn’t quite see her sex, he’d have to turn a brighter light on for that, but he was content. It was fine. Especially when he finally got situated and got his mouth on her.

Joel could wax poetry about how she tasted, how Ellie felt to him. Her youth was maddening and addicting, and he hated it deep down. Her clit was tiny, a mere dot that when touched drove her crazy, her cunt thin and small. She was lovely, oh so tight around his tongue.

He couldn’t help but to lap at her greedily. Her thin folds were easily spread by both his tongue and fingers, and her blooming arousal was heaven-sent as he tasted the wetness. He licked up, down, and in; it was unorganized of him and sloppy, but he didn’t care.

Ellie gave out whimpers in her sleep, not once waking, and came around his tongue, his nose against her button of a clit.

Joel wished he could finger her. He wanted to but she was so sweet and dripping wet, her arousal (mixed with some of his saliva) was on his face, her pelvic bone, and on the inside of her thighs, and if he felt right, dripping onto the bed. He needed her, right then and there, he realized as he hauled his boxers off.

Joel also realized maybe he was dependent on her too.

Her cunt was ridged with the muscle of it all, so tight, and so wet. There were no words, not ones he could describe accurately enough. Too tight sometimes, but it was more than just pleasurable. Maybe it was her age, but he stamped that thought (and fact) down and went straight to work.

Joel made her come. It was his turn now.

“Oh babygirl,” he whispered as he started thrusting right away, the second he was in her tight heat. He couldn’t help it he swears. Ellie was too perfect, too amazing.

“Baby, fuck, baby,” he gasped out as she tightened exponentially around him, her clit touched by his pelvis as he was in her deep, thrusting all the same.

He watched in the dim light as her face start to scrunch up; her little, pointy noise crinkled, lips quivering, and her cheeks reddened. Her cunt grew wetter, he could feel it.

“Hm,” Ellie hummed, her face to the side. She had to be waking up. Joel couldn’t stop though, and even in her sleep-addled consciousness, she knew that. Deep down, she knew he’d keep going.

Her brown eyes opened slowly and then popped open all together. Her brown eyes were lost in the darkness, but a twinkle shined here and there.

“What,” she started, hands going to his shoulders for purchase, “happened to consent? Fuck, Joel,”

Her voice was trying to be strong but broke off into a moan as he pounded into her, hoping to find her special spot. To his shock, her legs opened invitingly, and he almost lost his mind at the mere motion. He was in her cunt so deep it was astounding, and he could feel himself reaching his orgasm soon enough.

“Sorry babygirl, I’m sorry,” Joel said, only half meaning it.

Joel wasn’t truly sorry.

Joel was sorry he couldn’t feel sorry.

“Fuck it hurts, please kiss me,” Ellie whined and didn’t wait for him to say yes. That was fair. Her hands tangled in his curls as her mouth met his and he felt himself reach that peak.

By the time the kiss deepened, her nipping at his bottom lip, that’s when he came in her, and she gasped, tilting her forehead to nudge against his.

Ellie breathed deeply, so shallowly. Her, his, their, flannel was halfway buttoned by this point, but she didn’t seem to care as she kissed him one more time, on her own accord, and promptly moved to her tummy to sleep.

Joel passed out the second his head met his pillow, all too exhausted.

Chapter Text

Ellie liked many things.

She liked hot meals, hot showers, and warm beds, with the blankets piled high on top of her. She loved reading comic books, the more action the better. She liked learning about space and dreaming of becoming an astronaut and lately has become keen on dinosaurs and the history of them.

Over time, she also learned she liked being in control, and that she had the upper hand more than she thought she did.

She liked getting Tommy to let her drink alcohol, getting out of Maria’s clingy clutches, and most of all, if Joel had to touch her, she liked it her way, the most she can make of it. In any way possible. Preferably when he offered to bathe her, knowing damn well she could do it herself.

“Here,” Ellie instructed, pointing to her shoulder. Joel obeyed, which was a lovely thing in her book. He rubbed yet another layer of sudsy soap into her skin and she craned her neck to get the most out of the touch. She hummed in approval and warned a huff from him, indicating he was holding a smile back.

“I’m sure the water is cold now,” he whispered and she made a face at that.

“No, it’s still fine, just feel it,” Ellie replied and took his hand to touch the water.

“Barely,” the man muttered and she rolled her eyes, knowing they were both stubborn.

“Oh hush,” she responded before gaining an idea; she still had her hand in his and led it to her chest. It was her idea so it was okay. She just beat him to the chase.

“Feel there too,” Ellie said while Joel got right to work with toying her hardened nipple, finding it with her aid. Her back was to him but she could easily turn, just chose not to. She sighed while she let herself be played with; Joel skimmed his hand from her chest to her tummy, his hand disappearing in the soapy water to find what he wanted to touch.

Ellie didn’t say no to that, but she didn’t say yes either.

“I think the water is cold now,” she said, trying to keep check of her cheeky tone. He chuckled, probably worn out from his own day, and left her alone (surprisingly) to finish up.

It was a calm evening for the duo and Ellie basked in the warm, sweet feeling. She smiled to herself for a moment before getting to work cleaning the soap off, getting water everywhere on her body, twice-fold, and once done and thoroughly cleaned, drained the water.

Ellie stepped into his room, once she was all done, now deemed theirs (secretly). She felt a chill crawl up her spine at the cold, completely naked under her towel. Joel was reading in the corner of the room. He looked sweet. Almost as if they were a couple.

Ellie could play pretend in that instant.

Act like Joel never rapes her and that she sometimes likes it, sometimes doesn’t. That she’s not practically his prisoner. Act like there’s more than one person who loved her for her.

But that wasn’t the truth and Ellie doesn’t like that.

“May you please go make me some tea?” Ellie asked as she went straight to work putting on a comfortable shirt of his. She wouldn’t need, and didn’t want, panties that evening. Joel nodded right away and before he was out of the room, Ellie turned to him.

“The new box, you know the one Maria gave me a few days ago?”

“Sure yeah,” He replied, taking her word for it. It didn’t take the older man much time to complete the task.

They drank the tea together right before bed, like how Tommy would sometimes send Joel little bottles of alcohol for nightcaps or how Maria frequently gave Ellie glass jugs of milk. It subtly showed the difference in their age if Ellie wanted to look too deeply into things.

She sat on his lap as they enjoyed their drinks. Or, well, Joel drank his. Ellie barely sipped from her little cup.

He became tired, just as planned, not too long after. Good.

Ellie led him to bed, watching his steps become sluggish. She hated she was doing this. But she wouldn’t lie and say she was never curious; about how he felt when he had raped her, way back in the beginning. Touching her body like that.

Would he feel everything in his sleep and not be able to react, just like what happened to her?

Ellie waited, and waited, and waited, until what felt like hours went by. Joel was on his back, looking comfortable, and dreaming peacefully. He wore a shirt and boxers and that was that.

That was good.

Ellie swiftly straddled him, wanting to use him as planned, just like he did her. He will continue to do so as well. For an old man, it didn’t take long to get him hard; all she had to do was grind against him, and that was pleasurable on her cunt.

It was a hassle to get his underwear shimmied off but at the end of it all, Ellie found herself sinking onto his hard cock. It hurt, that she wouldn’t deny. She was tight but she was wet, she was turned on, and she loved and hated it at the same time. The teen sighed at the feeling, watching his face in the pale lamplight.

His face wrinkled, relaxed, and wrinkled again, over and over. But he didn’t wake up.

The sounds of her wet cunt were almost embarrassing, but she could play pretend, and act like he was just a toy. So, she did. Ellie took her time using him, riding him the way she saw fit. She only had to stop when he came deep in her, when she sat all the way, taking him in. Even then she didn’t stop immediately, only when he started whimpering, as if he was in some slight pain.

Maybe that’s what happened to her too.

Ellie pulled his underwear back on for him and took another bath to clean the spend out, and sipped on her tea, wanting to feel drowsy after what she did.

Chapter Text

Joel knew what happened nights ago. He thought it was okay, that they were okay. But they weren’t.

They never will be. He knew that and she did as well.

Looking at her then and there, watching as Ellie poked at her plate of breakfast she threw together haphazardly, he realized something. He watched the steam from her tea mug rise up in wafts and how she blew at it to cool it down. Witnessed as her legs kicked under her, sitting at the counter, not being able to reach the floor.

Ellie looked her age, like the child she was. Fifteen now, not fourteen. Which made the fact even worse.

Joel wanted to be better. He wouldn’t be weak anymore. Not for her, not for anyone at all.

Not even when she tightened her ponytail, thin arms up, and her little chest poking out for a moment. How she blew more on her mug after, bringing the watery, sweet drink to her lips. He wouldn’t be weak for her pout anymore.

Joel promised himself at that moment he wouldn’t bathe her, wouldn’t sleep with her, and so much more. Hell, she could move into the garage like she used to want to.

“Do you have to go today?” Ellie asked, getting him out of his mind. She looked up at him, and he hasn’t realized he moved closer to her, despite his thoughts of creating distance.

“It’s just patrol,” he replied bluntly but kept his tone soft. She blinked up at him, pretty brown eyes weary. She liked having him around lately.

“Just patrol,” she mimicked before going back to her meal, ignoring him as he fluttered about.

That was good. They needed space. Joel left right after that, shrugging on a jacket and his boots, and headed out.

It went like that for that entire week.

The week was spent finding excuses to part from Ellie, and the teen would sputter or say something rude in return before leaving to go wherever she went, to do whatever she would do. He wouldn’t be jealous if she went and actually saw friends for once. She could be with Maria for all he knew. He convinced himself he didn’t care.

But he did.

Joel cared a lot. More than he should. He was obsessed and he knew that. Ellie knew it, and he had a suspicion everyone else did too.

“Going to Tommy’s,” he stated out of the blue. Ellie had just gotten home and had just walked into the kitchen. He was already ready to leave, he didn’t have to look at her long to know he had to leave. He needed to.

But wanting and needing are two separate things. The lines become blurred when it comes to Ellie, and they were always like that when he thought about it.

“Dude, what is wrong with you?” Ellie asked after him, following him through the hall and to their front door.

“Ellie,” he replied as a warning, short and curt. But, it was true. She was what was wrong with him. Maybe it was both of their faults, enabling one another for far too long. Joel didn’t know at this point.

“You’re not going to ignore me, Joel,” she said, catching up to him swiftly. She must’ve gotten taller. Looked a bit taller too when he glanced at her a second too long. He made it to the door in record time but his hand was gripped in hers. She stopped him when she shouldn’t have.

Ellie shouldn’t stop him. Ellie should be content. What did she want?

Joel wanted a lot.

He wanted her love. Wanted her acceptance. Wanted to make her pay for their journey, hell on him, even to that day. Nightmares. He wants to make the teen girl moan and cry. Joel wanted her to gently kiss him and let herself be bruised by him.

Joel wanted everything.

He was slow as he walked towards her, but for once, he was aware of his reactions. Blood wasn’t rushing in his ears and his heart wasn’t beating suspiciously fast. His vision didn’t black out and he didn’t see the need anymore to worry.

Ellie looked scared, and rightfully so. Just like that day he told her the truth, not once, but twice. Her wide eyes showed fear, hints of anger, and tears no doubt will brim soon after. When she got angry she would cry. Joel was pleased that he was the one who knew that fact.

“I won’t ignore you babygirl,” he whispered as he crowded the much shorter, much younger girl against the wall. Her lips trembled for a moment before she steeled herself.

Joel let himself cup Ellie’s face softly, thumb coming to her bottom lip. He gently applied pressure, dragging it down; he pressed his thumb forward, letting the tip of her pretty pink tongue latch on, mouth following soon after. She was so pretty, just a young thing looking up at him like that, keeping her trembling at bay.

Joel didn’t say anything as he undid the button on her pants, didn’t mumble anything as they naturally unzipped, but he did kiss her forehead as he slid his palm from her tummy to down the front of her panties. They had a tiny bow on them, as some did for girls.

“You’re my babygirl, huh? Ain’t no question about it,” Joel stated in a whisper as he felt her mound, bare as ever from her young age. Dipping two fingers down, however, she was wet. Dripping, arousal covering her small, thin folds.

Joel kissed her face repeatedly as he felt around, placing two finger pads on her clit. He gently rubbed in circles, just to see her reaction. Ellie keened, eyes blinking back tears from the stimulation as he continued his ministrations without pause. Her breathing was labored and he pulled his fingers away.

Ellie glanced up at him, a frown forming around his thumb.

“Tell me you want to be touched,” Joel muttered, taking his thumb out to rest on her bottom lip again. He touched her chin, anywhere he could, distantly remembering the hospital for a brief second.

His other hand remained right near her sex, threateningly; he was the one between them with the power.

“Does it really matter what I say?” Ellie whispered, eyes glittery. A tear was dropped when she blinked and he pecked it away, tasting the salt and sadness for a brief second.

“No, it doesn’t,” Joel confirmed a minute later after not much thought and mercifully so, softly, entered two fingers into her cunt. She gasped at the intrusion, the two having gone a week of nothing between them. Her hands flew to his arms, one on his bicep, the other snaking from his shoulder to his cheek.

“Tell me you want me to stop,” he muttered in a demand, staring at the shivering girl. More tears were flowing freely as he fingered her, getting her in places she knew she couldn’t reach with her own little hand. She was pathetic in that regard, being so sensitive, he thought darkly, but she was his. So that made up for everything.

“Stop,” she bit out, cunt tightening around him, a telltale sign she was to climax, “Joel, stop, fucking stop,”, was said through a groan as as her pussy started to flutter around him.

“I won’t babygirl,” he said before bringing his lips to hers. Ellie came around his fingers, gasping against his lips, and fingers tightening in bunches in his clothes. He let her ride through the pleasure, and maybe some pain, as she made herself calm down.

Joel pulled away and looked at the mess that was Ellie. Her ponytail was messy, curls pulled away from it, her face red, and her lips wet with saliva. She was breathing harshly and looked so dumb.

“Can we,” she started tentatively, already inching away, “go take a nap?”

Ellie was unsure but that was alright.

Joel nodded in response and made headway to the stairs immediately, letting her trail after him in a daze. He recalled that she once said she’d follow him anywhere he went, and it was a comforting thought as he heard her little footsteps behind him.

Chapter Text

“I think it looks alright,” Tommy said, inspecting her bed one more time. He built the frame for her, insisting to have her original bed stay in the house. Ellie relented after being stubborn at first, knowing the Miller brothers were set in their ways.

“It looks awesome dude, thank you,” Ellie said, her tone soft, staying in place but looking around the final product of her new space.

The garage was an absolute tooth to pull, dealing with Joel like that. No, she wouldn’t be spending nights in there (although, once in a blue moon, it’d be nice), no she wasn’t mad at him (debatable), and so on and so forth.

But it was now Ellie’s, her very own space; her ‘bedroom’ didn’t count, or did Joel’s. This was hers.

The garage was now her safe space. After everything that has happened, nothing can taint it.

Ellie made headway to her new bed and plopped herself down on it. It was softer than she expected, her bed frame sturdy, but she couldn’t help but compare it to Joel’s bed. His was slightly firm, smelling of him, and held many memories.

Ellie would always be his nonetheless, but that’s why she got the garage. He knew she’d always come back and she did too.

Ellie knew she’d come back to his house, to his room, and be with him. It didn’t matter the context; Joel could be soft and tender, holding her sweetly while she drifted off to nap on a random afternoon or in the late evening after spending quiet time together.

He could also be heated, the older man laying her down, trailing warm kisses everywhere on her skin that would make her blood buzz underneath, and she would feel like he could eat her alive, right then and there.

Or, Joel could be brutal. Not listening to her begging no’s, not giving her a chance to catch her goddamn breath, not letting her set the pace, and so much more. It was overwhelming, simple as that.

“You alright kid?” A voice called out and her eyes focused in on Tommy, who was crouching down in front of her. It was odd, having someone’s attention on her, oh so close, that wasn’t Joel’s.

Tommy’s eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes shiny with worry. He laid a kind hand on her knee, thumbing at the fabric of her jeans. It took her another minute to focus in on him, bringing herself back to earth, and once she felt calm enough, she nodded.

“Get lost in my head sometimes,” Ellie said, sounding muffled to her own ears, her voice smaller than she’d like. Tommy smiled a bit, encouragingly, in apparent hopes to make her feel better.

It was working, she found out, when she realized her hand had found his, her palm on top of his hand. His were both warm and calloused, compared to her cold hands. She could also compare them to someone else’s as well.

“Don’t we all?” Tommy said lightly, trying to show her support, that she knew. She liked Maria a whole lot, but even on her journey when they first came to Jackson, she felt a bit overbearing. But Tommy never treated her like that; if anything, half the time, he left her alone. He was kind though.

Before Ellie could respond, say a quip or even just move back from him, a knock came on the opened door of her garage. She didn’t have to look up to know who it was, already hearing him clear his throat. It was Joel.

Tommy didn’t move away fast, if anything he stayed there an extra moment, head turned towards his brother. He stood up from his crouch, hand hesitating to move from Ellie’s. She blinked at that, and their chatting blurred into background noise as she lost focus again.

It seemed like Maria wanted Tommy, from what Joel mentioned loud and clear. He was all too quick to leave, to go to his wife, and that just left the two alone.

“Just checking out the new place,” he commented, one leg in front of the other, his head calmly swiveling about.

Ellie watched as Joel walked around, inspecting the place. He laid his fingers on her new, small bookcase, checking out her nightstand, just filtering around her space, until he came up to her. The man crowded her area and she had to crane her neck up to look at him. He didn’t waste a second in finding an excuse to touch her, although the act was small to begin with.

Compared to Tommy’s warm hands, Joel’s were akin to fire. He placed his index on her forehead, finger pad pressing in softly; he let it drag down to the side, over her cheekbone. He repeated the process to her other side, lifted, and gently placed it on her nose. Then, he brought his finger to her lips, and shifted to his thumb.

Ellie’s heart was pounding in anxiety, thrumming from the nerves of it all. But she knew what to do, and like how she knew she’d always find her place in his bed, in his home, and she knew where Joel belonged too.

The teen swallowed the lump in her throat and wrapped her lips around the tip of his thumb. She was at the perfect height, his pelvis meeting her face if he just pressed in, which he would no doubt. Ellie tricked herself mentally into wanting it at that moment in time so that she might enjoy what was to come.

She hummed around him, hands itching to move, so she didn’t see the problem in laying her palm on his thigh. Joel approved, as he didn’t swat her hand away in retaliation. She felt at peace for that split second, enjoying his thumb in her mouth as she got into a small rhythm, lightly bobbing her head, her eyes closed.

But the belt being unbuckled was inevitable, and so was his hand grabbing hers to take him out of his boxers. Ellie breathed through the spike of nerves beginning to fray and focused in on once he was in her mouth, she could calm down. Which worked, when she got her lips around the head of his cock. Joel's breathe hitched when she did so, which was a good sign as any.

Ellie never liked to push herself too far on him, but Joel always had other plans. She didn’t like how she was forced down around him, her throat constricting around his girth, cutting off her airflow. She didn’t like how it happened repeatedly and certainly didn’t like how he fucked her throat. She still remained calm, but let the tears flow freely.

Ellie would glance up at him, to show off her tears of pain, but she knew it would only make him go harder, go longer. It wasn’t worth it.

The teen finally got a chance to breathe when he pulled her off. She watched in a blurry daze as he shucked all his clothes off, shimmying his boxers off quickly. Ellie felt confusion come over her for a moment before she was forcefully hauled up by him. She was naked before she realized it and soon made to crawl up her bed.

She glanced around and for what was to be her safe space, that they agreed on, it wasn’t looking like that anymore. She should’ve expected that, and in turn, mentally blamed herself.

Ellie got comfortable against her two pillows, watching as Joel followed, hovering over her. She didn’t look though as he parted her legs, bending them up to frame him. The feeling of vulnerability always stayed, but sadly was grown accustomed to.

Ellie sighed when his hands rubbed her thighs. It was comforting and he was being more gentle this time around, and she appreciated it. She hummed when he squeezed her, practically massaging her. The few minutes were worth it.

“Hm, stop,” she said, almost sleepily, tilting her head more to burrow against the pillow. But Joel didn’t listen, instead, he kept going. She knew what to expect, and the finger slowly penetrating her didn’t surprise her. She knew to make the most of the situation, and just let herself relax, despite feeling so tight around him.

Ellie gasped when he moved away, keeping the finger in her; Joel ducked down, and took her in his mouth. She always felt like that was the better treatment, having a tongue around and in her. She let herself grind down on him, and when her clit gently bumped against his nose, she knew she was close. The teen snaked a hand down her tummy and felt free to touch herself as she saw fit.

Climaxing around his tongue made her see stars she knew she’d never reach.

Ellie’s back arched off the bed, and with a strong grip in his hair, she kept him against her cunt. She had one more orgasm wrung out of her, brought again by his tongue, and his fingers, until she was manhandled into laying on her front.

Joel had the moment of clarity to get a pillow under her pelvis to bring her ass up, to get her comfortable. She sneaked a hand under her other pillow, wrapping her fingers around the floppy ear of her stuffed rabbit he gave her what felt like ages ago. She brought it to herself and decided to suck on her thumb to self-soothe. She felt pitiful and probably looked it as well.

Joel hauled her slim hips up and was entering her in mere moments, aggressively, forcing his cock in. Ellie only whimpered, feeling another few tears form, and slide down her cheeks. But she knew she couldn’t say no to him, not when he went straight to shallowly thrusting.

The stuffed animal, once hated, was calming. It was relaxing as she let herself be pounded into; the sweat that formed on her forehead was bothersome and gaining the strength to get on her hands for a change of pace was difficult though. Her mouth fell open, and pathetically enough, she had the slight feeling she was letting drool pool onto the blanket under her, but she couldn’t close her mouth.

Ellie was fucked speechless.

When she came to, back onto her back, she knew it was a session of Joel chasing his pleasure. That was okay, Ellie decided, as she was quickly becoming tired. The stress of the day was too much for her young body, and cradling the stuffed rabbit close, was soothing as Joel finally slowed down.

The man had slipped out for a moment, and after guiding himself back into her, she saw a glance at his hand and saw red cover his skin. Ellie looked back at him, brought her thumb back to her mouth, shut her eyes, and let herself be used, knowing despite what has happened, she couldn’t do anything else.

Just like after the hospital, in her sleep, Ellie could feel his spend seep into her, excruciatingly heated, but she was too exhausted to do anything else.

Chapter Text

“What was it like?”

It was a sudden (soft-spoken) question, that, Ellie knew. Her body was numb, along with her mind after the day, or really, week, she had. Working, doing some learning, dealing with people, and then Joel. But when being touched constantly like she was, her mind would slip away in the act at times, and she’d grow curious about the man above her.

The teen hissed as Joel pulled out of her and she could feel his spend seep out right away, right onto the bedsheets. She shifted over slightly to make more space for him, wincing at the pain; she was manhandled that evening and could feel it in every inch of her body.

But the pillow beneath her head was cold once she flipped it and the bed warm, and she was naturally tired enough to sleep if she so choose. So she was alright so far. Then again, Ellie was stubborn and had a bit more fight in her. She wasn’t ready just yet to drift off.

“How do you mean?” Joel asked, settling on his side of the bed, judging by the movements. Ellie wouldn’t know, she was staring up at the ceiling.

“It. Everything, before me,” Ellie stated in a clipped tone. She wasn’t mad, she just didn’t know how to phrase what was going through her mind. Joel seemed to understand her, because of course, and sighed at her.

“It was just a lot,” he responded, avoiding the subject. He was good at that. That’s when she got a good look at him, curiosity winning her over, like it did every time.

“Like?” She pressed on out of old habit, but she knew she messed up when he turned his head to face her. The teen swallowed dryly, feeling her nerves flair up in anxiety. She trusted him, on a deeper based level; she spent too much time with him not to. But there were always those moments of doubt, that were more often than not.

It was difficult and she was just a child. A young teen who didn’t know any better and she herself knew that very fact, which is saying something.

“Flip over onto your side baby,” Joel said lowly. He wasn’t angry, not seething. He was calm and convincing, which was scarier than anything else.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie stated, trying to soothe the wound.

“Come on baby, move for daddy,” he commanded, a bit stricter than last. Ellie steeled herself and flipped, facing away. The man was quick to spoon her, draping the blanket over them. Ellie was heated and too cold all at once and shivered when his heavy calloused palm met her tummy.

“Life just wasn’t easy,” Joel said, mouth near her ear, but muted slightly due to her hair being down and all tangled up. His hand was stagnant on her tummy, besides his thumb soothing her heated skin.

“I gathered that much,” Ellie responded. Well, it was true. He chuckled softly and moved his hand, surprisingly, up, instead of the expected down.

“Remember what I told you in the truck?” He whispered, free hand moving her hair aside to get access to kiss her neck. Her neck was already, still, burning up from earlier, bitten with marks and raw from his beard, and she couldn’t help the whine as a response.

It took Ellie a good few moments to recall and his hand came softly to her breast, immediately toying with her nipple. He had pinched them too tightly earlier and she shuddered when he continued his ministrations.

“Please stop,” she muttered and he shook his head in the crook of her neck. Tears clouded her vision from the onslaught of overstimulating pain but not one fell.

“You told me you keep going for family or something, just something to fight for,” Ellie choked out, her statement not making much sense to her ears. But Joel seemed pleased and decided to move his fingers away, trailing them up again.

“So,” He started off, tone dark, his breathing bated as he carried on, “that’s all you need to know babygirl,”

Ellie supposed he was right. She thought he was done until his moving hand met her mouth. His fingertips pawed at her lips and she had no choice but to open up for him.

His fingers were thick, warm, and soft in her mouth. But in that moment, it was less for pleasure, and more for being in control. His three fingers went deep, past her teeth, and her breathing became shallow.

“You are my girl, right?” Joel asked in her ear, but so quietly she almost couldn’t hear him, but then again, due to adrenaline, blood was pumping faster. Ellie breathed through her nose the best she could, what with the intrusion in her mouth.

The teen nodded and his fingers were out of her mouth but now on her neck, lightly gripping her.

“Repeat it, say it,”

But Ellie didn’t want to.

Fear was coursing through her and his come was still leaking out of her. Bruises littered her body and bite marks were dented in so many areas she didn’t know where to begin. She recalled the time she had yelled to him that she was just fourteen as he had assaulted her body; Ellie felt small, unbearably so, with his hand wrapped around her throat.

“I’m yours,” she managed through the lump of fear settling within her and could finally breathe somewhat easier when he pulled his hand away.

Joel then kissed the temple of her forehead, softer than she could’ve imagined after their brief talk, and tugged her closer, not bothering to turn the light off for the night.

The man’s snoring was light and the dimmed light on in the room Ellie didn’t mind, but she couldn’t sleep for other reasons. The teen thought of everything that led to that moment in bed, from the very beginning; she thought of things she could’ve done differently, said differently, but didn’t. Anything that could’ve changed any sort of outcome that she was living in at that moment in time.

The young girl fell asleep cocooned in the much older man’s arms, hours later after silently crying due to the memories. She was heated, way too warm, with dried spend spread thinly and stickily across her thighs and sex.

Chapter Text

“What was it like?”

It was a sudden (soft-spoken) question, that, Ellie knew. Her body was numb, along with her mind after the day, or really, week, she had. Working, doing some learning, dealing with people, and then Joel. But when being touched constantly like she was, her mind would slip away in the act at times, and she’d grow curious about the man above her.

The teen hissed as Joel pulled out of her and she could feel his spend seep out right away, right onto the bedsheets. She shifted over slightly to make more space for him, wincing at the pain; she was manhandled that evening and could feel it in every inch of her body.

But the pillow beneath her head was cold once she flipped it and the bed warm, and she was naturally tired enough to sleep if she so choose. So she was alright so far. Then again, Ellie was stubborn and had a bit more fight in her. She wasn’t ready just yet to drift off.

“How do you mean?” Joel asked, settling on his side of the bed, judging by the movements. Ellie wouldn’t know, she was staring up at the ceiling.

“It. Everything, before me,” Ellie stated in a clipped tone. She wasn’t mad, she just didn’t know how to phrase what was going through her mind. Joel seemed to understand her, because of course, and sighed at her.

“It was just a lot,” he responded, avoiding the subject. He was good at that. That’s when she got a good look at him, curiosity winning her over, like it did every time.

“Like?” She pressed on out of old habit, but she knew she messed up when he turned his head to face her. The teen swallowed dryly, feeling her nerves flair up in anxiety. She trusted him, on a deeper based level; she spent too much time with him not to. But there were always those moments of doubt, that were more often than not.

It was difficult and she was just a child. A young teen who didn’t know any better and she herself knew that very fact, which is saying something.

“Flip over onto your side baby,” Joel said lowly. He wasn’t angry, not seething. He was calm and convincing, which was scarier than anything else.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie stated, trying to soothe the wound.

“Come on baby, move for daddy,” he commanded, a bit stricter than last. Ellie steeled herself and flipped, facing away. The man was quick to spoon her, draping the blanket over them. Ellie was heated and too cold all at once and shivered when his heavy calloused palm met her tummy.

“Life just wasn’t easy,” Joel said, mouth near her ear, but muted slightly due to her hair being down and all tangled up. His hand was stagnant on her tummy, besides his thumb soothing her heated skin.

“I gathered that much,” Ellie responded. Well, it was true. He chuckled softly at that and moved his hand, unsurprisingly, down.

“Remember what I told you in the truck?” He whispered, free hand moving her hair aside to get access to kiss her neck. Her neck was already, still, burning up from earlier, bitten with marks and raw from his beard, and she couldn’t help the whine as a response.

It took Ellie a good few moments to recall and his hand wedged itself between her thighs, immediately going to her slit to tease her. It stung quite sharply, eliciting a shocked hiss from her.

“Please stop,” she muttered and he shook his head in the crook of her neck. Tears clouded her vision from the onslaught of overstimulating pain and she knew a few fell into her pillow in damp, tiny spots.

“You told me you keep going for family or something, just something to fight for,” Ellie choked out, her statement not making much sense to her ears. But Joel didn’t seem to care.

“I’ll tell you more,” Joel said and Ellie froze, wondering what was to come. He pulled away and quickly turned the light off, bathing them in pitch black. She could feel and hear him, but not see. She didn’t what was more terrifying.

Ellie yelped pathetically when she was flipped onto her front; she knew what was to come. Didn’t make it any better though. Joel made a noise akin to humming, more than likely satisfied in his doings. His warm palms ran over her back and towards her ass, touching her all over.

“Remember, you asked,” Joel stated and Ellie felt her lips tremble at that. The blame hurt her but she supposed it was her fault. They could’ve just gone to bed but Ellie, in her mind, messed it up. He lifted her body up to get on her shaky, tired knees, getting a groan from her. She barely had enough strength when all she wanted to do was slump over.

“Ask daddy again,” he whispered in her ear when he bent over her back. She felt the head of his cock lightly graze her skin, hardening.

“I’m tired,” she said and the response she gained was a sharp spank, heated to the touch against her skin. She groaned at the rush of pain and tried to not feel arousal from it.

“What was it like before?”

The head of his cock was at her entrance and the shove he made to enter stung, practically burning her. Ellie figured he would’ve waited another minute or two, but Joel was in a merciless mood that evening.

“I was what one would call a hunter I suppose,” Joel said lowly, anchoring her hips down with every thrust.

“Life was simple but hard, just was about surviving kiddo,” he said as he slowed his thrusts down, making her feel stretched completely wide open and too tight all the same.

“Used to,” his thrusts were harder, and all she could do was take it; she had a good feeling she’d bleed right after from the harsh treatment.

“Smuggle,” Ellie finished for him and he chuckled without humor at that.

“Yeah, babygirl, I did do that,” he said, voice small as he continued his abuse, “Used to torture, make them beg for their life before taking it,” Joel explained and Ellie whined, knowing what the man above her was capable of.

“But I can give you yours, give you a life,” Joel muttered mindlessly as he bent over again, kissing her back repeatedly, nipping at the skin. It didn’t make much sense to Ellie but her mind was far away; she was exhausted to the bone and everything was hurting to her very core.

“Tell me you love me,” he demanded with a painful tug at her hair, making her crane her neck. His thrusts are becoming more powerful but she was becoming numb.

“Joel, please just stop for tonight,” she said through an embarrassing, choked-off hiccup but he probably liked it no doubt.

“Say it,”

“I love you and only you love me,” Ellie replied automatically, not having much fight left. She supposed it was true at that point. She let herself slump forward, letting her body be used, and by his standards, loved, by Joel, as she shut her eyes, needing an ounce of rest from everything.

Chapter Text

“Found you a new book,” was the first thing Ellie heard, besides the creak of her bedroom door. The voice belonged to Joel of course.

The teen didn’t know whether to welcome him back and show affection or to stay still and let him come to her. Oddly enough, she missed him, but then again, they always seemed connected at the hip. It was natural.

Despite what they do together, she’s beginning to feel like she can open up to him again. It’s always a yo-yo-like process, shutting him out then bringing him back him. Maybe it’s the same for him as well.

Ellie stayed put on her window seat, padded by a few blankets and pillows. She liked to watch the weather go by as it depended on the day, and today, it was beginning to rain. Fat raindrops fell freely and it was comforting as she leaned against the thick glass.

“It’s puns,” Ellie commented as he sat with her, looking dead on his feet. She fondly remembered Riley for a moment and helped herself to read some of the lines while flipping through some dusty pages.

“Oh Joel,” she began, trying to rid her growing smile, “Why shouldn't you argue with a dinosaur?”

The man looked tired but warm enough to her to let her keep going.

“Why?”

“You’ll get jurasskicked,”

Joel sighed immediately at the cheesy joke and proceeded to lift her legs up to place on his lap to rest. He thumbed at her ankle and she liked how tender he was being. He was gone for a few days, too busy, far too busy, but thankfully, he was back.

“You’ve been okay?” He asked quietly and Ellie nodded, pursing her lips at that in thought. She could take care of herself, even if he thought she couldn’t.

“You?”

Joel explained what he was up to those few days while softly touching her ankles and calves distractedly, simply wanting affection. Ellie didn’t mind. He was okay.

“I’m going to go shower now, I’m beat,” he said after a long bout of silence between them. Ellie looked up at him while he stood and blinked at him. He had just gotten back and she didn’t want him gone so soon, even if it was momentarily.

“Can I join?” Ellie couldn’t help but ask, standing right after he got a few steps ahead of her. The room was silent, save for the rain pelting outside, but he nodded in agreement to her, not making a noise. She followed after him, quickly and quietly across the small hall to his room.

While Joel got the water to run in the shower, Ellie got them some clothes set out to wear after. It was a short-lived process but she was all too happy to get into the hot water after getting undressed, him following suit.

“I sure left you covered, huh?” Joel murmured and Ellie almost didn’t hear him over the rushing water. She was turned away from him, her face getting soaked under the water pressure. She backed away slightly to look at him and simply nodded.

Before he got too busy for the days that he was gone, he had roughened her up in bed.

It was an accident, he had said so himself, and Ellie was beginning to believe him. Especially when under the stream of water, he took to kissing the top of her right shoulder, where the bruise was beginning to fade. One of Joel’s hands pushed her hair to the other side, and the other softly went to her waist.

“Maybe,” Ellie responded then sighed when his hand trailed to her front to cup her breast. She was a bit tired, and with the rain came a small headache, and maybe he’d stop if she said no, but again, she was too tired.

“Feels good,” she mumbled when toyed with her nipple, right when his other hand came to cup her free breast. The treatment was alright, she wouldn’t lie and say it wasn’t embarrassing to be fondled like that, but when he pinched and twisted her nipples just right, she couldn’t exactly find it in herself to care.

Ellie felt his erection soon form against her backside and she couldn’t help but squirm against it. Maybe it was being a teenager and having more urges lately, but she felt the sudden need for him. She got her hand softly around him, holding him just the way she was taught, and thought of just getting him in her already.

“Wait a moment little one,” Joel murmured, getting her turned and against the shower wall, her back resting against it. There was just enough space in the shower for him to get on his knees, and he did exactly that. Ellie didn’t mind.

Joel kissed from her upper tummy to lower, until he reached where they both wanted him to go. The teen bit back a surprised little yelp when he moved a leg of hers without warning, but she knew he wouldn’t let her fall. His mouth was on her cunt in no time and she let every thought of hers just disappear.

Ellie could’ve spent hours receiving the sweet, tender care from him. He rubbed at her inner thighs while he tongued at her, sucking lightly on her clit, and she relaxed under his touches. Her hands wove through his hair and unconsciously she started moving his head, thus his mouth, to her liking, but the older man didn’t seem to care. If anything, he seemed like he enjoyed it.

Ellie came in no time flat, sensitive after days of no physical affection. It was a fleeting thought, but it was almost like he did it on purpose. But she knew that wasn’t true, not when he was treating her so kindly.

The young girl was all too happy to finally get his cock in her; she was leaning against the shower wall, chest pressed flat against the surface while her hips were tugged to his waist. She let herself be manhandled, his grip too strong on her. Ellie had no doubt he’d leave even more bruises.

Ellie felt like she got the wind knocked out of her for the first thrust, but the small pinch of pain was worth it when she felt so full of him.

“Do you love me?” Ellie found herself turning her neck to ask him the sudden question; it was like something came over her, never needing to ask it before and Joel knew it was mutual. He looked at her for a moment, thrusts becoming shallow.

“Yeah,” he whispered and brought in her for a quick kiss, a bit more on the rougher side, but it was a nice wake call if she were being honest, “Yeah, I love you, kid,”

All Ellie could do was slightly smile at that and moan unexpectedly when his powerful thrust began a new.

It hurt, that was true; she still thinks her body was a bit too young for the constant ministrations put to it, not to mention the mental pain. But it was easy to not think too hard on logistics, not when his hand rested on hers on the slick shower wall, clasping their hands together in a hold.

Chapter Text

The house was so quiet it felt strangely hollow, the only sound was the soft hiss of wind against the windows. Snow drifted down outside, pale and heavy, muting the world. The Wyoming wind wasn’t all that pleasant either. Inside, the air was sharp and cold, each breath faintly visible, and the thin blanket over Ellie's shoulders did little to keep it away. She briefly considered slipping her pink robe on but chose against it, she was comfortable in bed.

Joel came home not too much later, boots stomping loudly in the foyer. She cringed as he started coughing, practically shaking the entire house; she was never granted much peace, ever, since she met him. It was rare that he would leave her alone for too long. Maria once had said they were codependent and maybe that was the truth. Something along the lines of needing to know they can’t always be together; learning to survive without one another.

When he came upstairs, she knew he was seeking her out. When he teetered into her room, she didn’t move.

She only looked up at him, pulse fluttering hard in her throat as he crawled into her bed without permission. He seemed weak, almost becoming too old.

Yeah. She didn’t know how to live without him.

The kiss was sudden, bruising, all teeth and breathless heat, her sudden desperation crashing into his. He groaned into her mouth, low and rough, one hand closing hard around her jaw, holding her exactly where he wanted her.

The blanket she had wrapped around her shoulder slid to the floor. The cold bit at her bare arms, but it was drowned out by the heat of him pressing her back against the mattress, his weight pinning her down. His hands were everywhere—gripping, tugging, shoving clothes aside with no patience.

She gasped when his palm slid under her shirt, his touch hot and rough against her chilled skin, and she arched into it, shivering in the bitterness. He tweaked her hardening nipples meanly but she’s learned to love it all the same.

Fabric tore in the rush. Her shirt went first, then his, then the rest, their flannels and jeans, all stripped away in messy urgency until their bodies were pressed skin to skin. The cold air licked at her, but his heat devoured it. His mouth dragged down her throat, teeth scraping, tongue soothing where he bit too hard. His stubble was stabbing her but she learned to accept any amount of pain given to her. She pulled at his curly hair, urging him back up to her mouth, her thighs spreading beneath him without thought.

When he pushed into her, it was sharp, making her breath catch on a ragged cry. His cock tore her apart and all she could do was breathe through the pinching pain and rock against it, digging her nails into his shoulders.

His hips drove forward again, harder, and her nails dug into his back, leaving red trails down his skin. Joel set a brutal pace, rough and insistent, the sound of their bodies colliding loud in the quiet house. She clung to him, biting at his shoulder, every thrust pulling another sound from her throat she couldn’t hold back. She could only pray she left marks against his skin, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

The cold around them only made the sex sharper—every inch of exposed skin ached for his heat, for the press of him. His breath was ragged against her ear, broken curses and half-formed words slipping free. He pinned her hips down with bruising fingers, grinding into her like he needed to claim every piece of her.

When she came, it was sudden and overwhelming, a sharp cry muffled against his neck, her whole body trembling beneath him. He followed close after, pace breaking, thrusts messy as he buried himself deep with a full body shudder. The release tore through them both, raw and consuming.

For a long moment, neither of them moved, only clinging, their breaths harsh and loud in the freezing air. Slowly, he let his weight ease into her, his forehead pressed to her shoulder, arms locking tighter around her as if letting go might undo it all.

She slid a shaky hand over his back, tracing circles into sweat-damp skin, grounding him. Vulnerability sat heavy in the silence, heavier than the snow piling outside. They didn’t reach for the blanket. They only stayed tangled together, skin to skin, holding on while the cold crept back in. Because they both knew they couldn’t part from the other.