Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Teasing Joel Miller

The club was full, the music way too loud, the people too close, but you had promised Samantha you would go out tonight, after three years getting your degree, and finally coming back to Austin, Sam had practically coerced you into a night out on the town. She was dressed to kill, her silver dress hugging her in all the right ways as she danced with you. You were already buzzed as she took you outside for a smoke. You didn’t smoke but when you saw what Samantha had you didn’t mind so much.

“Sure you don’t want a drag?” Sam says, teasing your name as she lights the joint.

“Sam you’re a terrible influence you know that?” You laugh, already eager for a draw on the fat blunt.

“Yep, but you ditched me for three years, you don’t get to judge me.” She retorts as she takes a heavy pull on the blunt before passing it to you. You take a heavy draw and you notice her eyes go wide in surprise.

“Sam, I was in college in California, you really think your bum-fuck nowhere weed was going to faze me?” You ask, letting the smoke roll out of your mouth lazily, the harshness of the burn nothing compared to the shit you did in college. But the high hits you immediately, a comforting blanket over the harsh buzz of the alcohol warming your veins.

“Damn girl you grew up while you were away.” Sam jokes, taking another long draw as she looks you up and down. You were in tight black slacks and a maroon blouse that exposed just enough cleavage to be slutty, yet refined.  

“That’s an understatement,” You breathe as you feel the hazy pleasure of a good high settle over you, “Fucking hell Sam, why did I ever leave?” You ask, not really expecting and answer but you were already losing some of your inhibitions. C

“Is what it is, now lets go dance.” Sam says with a hazy laugh as she drags you back into the venue. The loud music a little more bearable as you succumb to the modest high. You and Sam dance like no-one is watching, even if they most certainly were, a smile plastered on your face the whole time as you let yourself go for the first time in years. You bump and grind against your best friend and let the worries of the past three years melt away for what feels like hours.

The urge to pee makes you break off, no longer able to contain nature’s call as you push through waves of strangers. Something catches your eye as you reach the bathroom, the flash of someone gone as soon as it arrived. You shake your head sure it was nothing as you relieve yourself, hovering over the seatless bowl.

Classy establishment Sam.

You think to yourself as you feel your thighs strain from the squat. You wash up and head back to the dance floor looking for Sam but no matter where you looked you couldn’t see her. You pull out your cell and flip it open, checking if she had text you. But nothing. You sigh and try to wade through the crowds to find your friend. But the club was a mass of writhing bodies and unfamiliar faces as you tried to fight the riptide of people pressing around you. You hear your name called out and turn.

“Hey you ok sweetheart?” Joel Miller’s voice cuts through the chaos and your heart catches in your throat as you take him in. He’s older, grown up. The silly school girl crush that you thought had faded as you found boys your age burned in your groin, he had always been handsome, but now he was stronger, filled out in a way that only hard labour could mould. You’d forgotten how old he was, younger than your father, but he was still at least ten years your senior.

Too old for you.

You scold yourself as you can already feel the arousal at his gaze settling over you. He looked fucking good. His tight white shirt, dark jeans and maroon cowboy boots just helped you drink him in. It was frankly unfair. You pushed through the crowd, trying to get to a safe harbour, a friendly face, but something in the back of your mind wanted to pull him onto the dance floor. You pushed it to the back of your mind as you reached him.

“Joel, what are you doing here?” You shout over the crowd as you learn towards him, his head dipping down to your shoulder to hear you. The brush of his breath warming the skin on your neck as he breathed, he smelled of whiskey and tobacco. Your hair stands on end as you drink it in.

“Some stupid contractor night out, celebrating a new bid, I don’t fucking know, they’ve all fucked off anyway.” He yells back, and you smile as you notice the sweet little dimple that formed at the corner of his mouth as he grins down at you.

“I seem to have lost my friend, so I think I’ve been ditched too.” You say, a silly smile plastered over your face as you fawn under the completely uninterested gaze of your dad’s best friend.

“Fancy getting a drink somewhere quieter?” He asks and you’re so tempted but Sam’s welfare was high on your list of priorities.

“I do need to find out if my friend is ok.”

“I can stick around for a bit if you want?” He offers and your heart races, you have to know its just a friend of the family helping out, but something in your hopes it’s something else. Hopes he’s as awestruck at you as you were at him.

“That’d be great thank-“ Your phone buzzes in your purse and you pull it out with lightning speed.

Headed home with some college junior, he’s very keen, will let you know when I’m home. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You smile down at the message and look back up into Joel’s hopeful gaze. You are glad for the loud dance music as you whimper up into his dark eyes. The alcohol and weed buzz emboldening you, driving your arousal faster than normal.

Or was it Mr Miller that did that?

“No worries, she’s found her happy place.” You shake your head as you speak and Joel catches your meaning with a minuscule twitch of his lips.

“Still wanna get a drink?” He asks, his nerve faltering slightly. You watch as he rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit you knew from a mile away. You had seen it when your father had caught him playing grab ass with the local girls in his dad’s garage, when he was stuck trying to figure out what was choking the throttle on his Mustang.

“Come on Mr. Miller, the night’s still young.”

***

The dive bar was off the beaten path, the music came from a jukebox, and the whole place smelled like stale beer and sawdust. But it felt oddly comforting compared to the club. You sat at a booth with Joel. Your beer bottles dripping with condensation in the late August heat.

“So how the fuck have you been sweetheart?” Joel asks such enthusiasm as he leans over the sticky table to focus in on you that you feel the flush of arousal deep in your belly. No one was ever as full on and interested in you the way Joel always had been. Before it had been interest in the social studies project about wealth inequality in America, your terrible attempts to learn Spanish, the community centre work you had done to teach kids computer skills. Now it was just about you. And that made you think.

Had it always been you?  

“Alright, college sucked, tonight sucked, what about you? How’s Sarah?” You ask as you nurse the beer slowly, moving your mind away from the spiralling steam of consciousness fuelled by the weed high.

“Sarah’s great, she’s taken up gymnastics and debate, it’s terrifying to see how fast she’s growing up.” Joel nods, his dark facial hair catching your eye, already beginning to splinter into greys and silvers in places.

“She’s what fourteen now?” You ask as you ease back into the booth.

“Indeed she is, almost ready to fly the coop.” He jokes but you hear the hurt underlying his words.

“She’ll always be your little girl Joel, you have to know that, you’re such a good dad.” Your words are tumbling out of your mouth, sucked up in a riptide of a hedonistic, uninhibited joy as you try not to think about the curve of Joel’s mouth as he smiled. And how it would feel if those lips pressed against your skin.

“That’s very sweet of you doll.” Joel chuckles, but you’ve noticed the way he had been staring at you, the look he was giving you across the booth was dangerous. He was lapping you up the same way you were drinking him in. Your chest tightened as you pressed your knees together, trying to quell the ache between your legs as you imagined what it would be like to have his strong nose pressed against the heat of your mound.

“Damn it all,” You breathe as you try to do the right thing. “Joel I need to go home. Thanks for the beer.”

“Sure thing, you need a ride back? I’ve only had one, well,” He drained the last half of his beer, and you watch shamelessly as he tilts his head back, his Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed. The sheen of sweat drawing your gaze down to his open shirt where the soft smattering of chest hair peaked out, “Two beers, I’m good to drive.” You look away as he speaks, hoping he hadn’t caught your lecherous gaze.

“I’d appreciate that thanks Joel.” You nod affirmatively as you leave the bar, the night air thick with heat and humidity as you walk the few blocks to his car. All the while you’re trying not to steal glances at him.

“So, you back from college then?” He asks slowly, trying to find the right way to ask, “For good this time?”

“Unless I get a job elsewhere, I think so, kind of missed the place.” You admit, the high-strung chaos of California was too much to handle even when you weren’t stressed out of your mind studying for finals. And it was expensive.

“Good to know, Sarah’ll be pleased.” He says with a nod as you approach his battered old Bronco, the blue paint sun-bleached and peeling.

“I’ve missed her y’know? She always knew how to make me smile, even on my worst days.” You climb into the passenger door and slam the door behind you, making sure to give it a good tug as it was always getting stuck. You knew Joel wouldn’t have gotten it fixed. It was his workhorse, he’d run it into the ground before getting another.

“She’s good like that.” Joel hums in approval as he slides into the cab next to you. The scent of tobacco, vanilla, and his cologne mixed with fresh perspiration filled your senses as the cab sealed behind him. You feel the arousal coil in your belly as you try and look anywhere but him as the truck starts with a cough.

“Still living with your pop?” He asks as he pulls out into the streets of Austin, the traffic easy this time of night. The radio is on, Norma Tanega lilting through the air as you mouth the lyrics, never being much of a singer, you still loved to lose yourself in music.

“Yeah going to be staying there until I get enough money together for a deposit on an apartment.” You say as you break from your miming, watching the city go by in a haze as you tried not to look at Joel in the reflection.

“Smart move, living with parents can be, difficult.” He says and you can hear the smile in his tone, you can’t help but smile too, you’d been home a few days and you were already feeling trapped. It’s why you were so keen to get out tonight, even if it ended up a complete failure.

“You have no idea.” You chuckle and chance a look at him in there reflection. Your heart stops as you see he has done the same, quickly shifting his eyes back to the road. But the image is seared into your brain, those bottomless chocolate-caramel eyes drinking you in while you weren’t looking. His smile as he watched you mouthing the lyrics with joy and the panicked look that you caught as he turned away. You shivered with delight and let yourself feel good about the somewhat taboo interaction at play. You say no more for the short ride back to your house, the tension maddening but silence was better than risking saying something you’d regret.

“Alright, here you are, have a good night sweetheart.” Joel said softly as he pulled up outside your driveway, your dad’s Silver ’67 Shelby in the drive. You turn to thank Joel and you lock eyes, he was leaning towards you, hand on the bench seat barely an inch from your own as he freezes in place.

“Night Joel,” You fight the urge to reach out and touch him, “Thanks for the ride.”

“Anytime gorgeous, now git!” He nodded towards the house, the porch light coming on as you knew your dad had seen a truck outside and was getting ready to confront the loiterer, “Your dad will be out here with a shotgun if you don’t hurry on up.”

“You’re not wrong, see you around, Miller.” You winked in the spur of the moment, panicking and getting out of the car before you see him react. You hurry up to the front porch, the door opening as you hit the top step. You wince as you wait for the scolding you know you deserve.

“You’re home late.” You look up into the disapproving eyes of your father as he looks at you with a frown, arms crossed over his chest, his nose wrinkles and you know it’s the weed he can smell.

“Sorry dad, Sam ditched me for some guy, Joel took me for a beer and drove me home, I just lost track of time.”

“Joel? My Joel?” Your dad asks, eyes narrowed as you push past him.

“Yes dad your Joel.” You roll your eyes, as you head into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“Good man, you alright honey? You smell like…” He pauses as he stands in the doorway you feel his eyes boring into your from behind.

“Weed, grass, Marijuana, cannabis, take your pick,” You sass, not willing to be lectured when you know for sure he, Tommy, and Joel smoke in the back garden on occasion. On summer vacation or over spring break you always caught the whiff of it, the muffled laughter only confirming it.

“Honey I just don’t want you throwing your life away on drugs-” He starts but you cut him off.

“I’m going to bed, I had two bumps, and it was Sam’s anyway, I don’t even know how to get weed in Austin.” You say, already kicking off your shoes off at the base of the stairs as you speak. You breathe a sigh of relief as the tension on your feet eases, there was always something so satisfying about removing heels.

“Honey, I-“

“Night Dad.” You shout as you slam the door to your bedroom, slumping back against the door as you sigh. You take a long gulp of water and head to the window to close your curtains and crack the window. Joel’s bedroom light is on and you smile, the thought of seeing him again made your heart flutter. You linger for a moment, lost in the moment in the cab where you caught his hungry gaze in the window reflection.

Then you see it, Joel with nothing but boxers on, you snap the curtains shut as you hope he hadn’t caught you. You turn off the lights and force yourself into bed, mind racing as you tried to get Joel Miller out of your mind. But you slip your hand between your soaking wet folds and chase your release, thinking what it would be like to have his full, plush lips against your mound. His thick, calloused fingers inside you instead of yours as you roll your clit with your one hand, the two fingers of the other pumping hard inside you as you gave up and let yourself think of Joel. Your release came almost too quickly as you fell apart with Joel Miller’s name whispered from your lips.

*

Joel saw the curtains twitch and he smiled despite himself. He knew he was playing with fire, thinking of you like this. He had been rock hard ever since the moment you had gotten into his cab,  the smell of you burned into his nostrils as he tried to think of anything else. Anyone else, he was palming his erection as he lay in bed, the memory of you drinking him in with your eyes as you saw one another in the club came to him and he groaned, jerking himself off as he remembered the tension in the cab rolling off both of you. The tension in his stomach built as he pumped his length aggressively, trying to imagine what you felt like, what you tasted like, until his balls tightened and hot spurts of cum splattered on his abs. He saw white and breathed your name as he came down from his own high.

“I’m fucked,” He groans softly in the darkness as he drapes his arm over his eyes, trying to block out the sight of you in that tight maroon shirt. The thought of your breasts heaving as you laughed that sweet little laugh made him groan as his cock swelled once more this hadn’t happened in years and he smiled as he began to jerk himself off again, “So fucked.”

***

It’s a week until you see him again, you made a point of staying home as much as possible, applying for jobs in town on days you knew Joel was away, and catching up on the reading you had abandoned while in college. It was Saturday and the weather was glorious, you couldn’t help but put on some sun block and sprawl out on the lounger in the back garden under the cherry tree. Your mother had always made you wear sun block, even when you wouldn’t be in direct sunlight, and the habit had stuck.

You had seen Joel’s truck leave earlier, loaded with materials and tools, so you knew there was a chance he would be out all day. You needed to distance yourself from him, you knew it was the sensible choice. You put on some classical music on your iPod, and put your headphones in to help you relax. You open up the worn transcript of a play you adored and got lost in tragic drama you knew so well. Your pencilled in comments and annotations from high school still legible as you smile at the scrawled handwriting you knew no one else could read but you.

You begin to doze off as you hear the chain link gate at the side of the house rattle open then closed, your dad’s rolling timbre rousing you from your book. You take the headphones out, getting ready to greet him when you hear the grumpy drawl that made your heart race.

“Fucking cheap bastards, no way was I continuing with that job.” Joel huffs, his brother Tommy in tow as they follow your father into the back yard.

“Sounds rough, oh hey honey!” Your dad says as he notices you, you smile meekly and wave at the trio, noticing the look on Joel’s face as he took in the short jean shorts and tank top you were wearing, your bare feet dangling over the edge as you tried not to squirm under his intense stare.

“Hey guys.” You say softly and slowly put your headphones back in and pull your book back up, trying hard to not track Joel with your eyes as he followed your dad to the patio chairs and tables. Tommy and Joel took a seat as your dad went inside, likely to get them some beers.

“You going to join us doll?” Tommy’s voice cuts through the music you were no longer listening to, and the book you were pretending to read. You look up and see him beckoning to you as you try to find an excuse not to. You sigh and pause the music, wrapping the headphones up around your iPod as you make your way over to the patio.

“Hey Tommy, Joel.” You say with as calm a voice as you can muster. You sit between the brothers and try not to rake your eyes over Joel in his plaid work shirt, sleeves rolled up to expose his strong forearms dusted with thick, dark hair. His faded blue jeans were tight against his thighs as he sat forward, elbows on the wicker tabletop. You look over to Tommy to find a parallel Adonis, his long hair loose and curled around his face. His denim shirt open in the Texas heat, his tan skin on display as you noticed how ripped he was. Joel was broader but Tommy was cut like glass. You stare forward, not meeting either brother’s gaze as you just wanted the ground to open up beneath you. Had they both always been this hot? Or had you just grown up enough to finally notice?

“What you reading there doll?” Tommy asks, reaching out for the book. “A View from a Bridge, heavy stuff.” You nod curtly, far too distracted to engage in deep literary dialogue.

“Excellent taste.” Joel drawls and you flick your eyes to catch his gaze. The look he was giving you was intense, you suppress a whimper at the pooling of arousal a single look managed to rouse. His nostrils flared as he looked away, towards the house.

“I like the social commentary, it’s still relevant today and I have a soft spot for Rodolpho.” You shrug, having read the play many times, you even saw the drama club put on a performance of it in college.

“True that, change is slow, but I’d like to think some things have come along.” Tommy remarked as your dad came out of the patio doors with four beers in his hands.

“Thought you’d join us honey,” Your dad chuckles and sets the beers down on the table, using his keychain bottle opener to pop the bottles open, “Well, here’s to dirtbags who won’t pay the going rate I suppose.”

“Cheers to that.” Tommy said with glee, clearly much happier to sip beer than to be working. Joel simply nodded and raised his bottle in salute. You do the same. The whole time you focus on your dad, smiling at the age difference between him and the Miller brothers. He’d taken them both on with the contracting agency he worked at once Tommy turned eighteen, mostly to keep them out of trouble but because they were damned hard workers when put to task. He’d already been in his forties then, so they were like sons to him.

“So, how’s the 70 Boss coming along Joel? New tires treating you ok?” Your dad asks and you smile, knowing you can just listen to this conversation without needing to speak. You loved cars, loved working on them with Tommy, Joel, and your dad ever since you were a kid, but even now you didn’t even own your own car, let alone a classic like theirs.

“You going to get yourself a muscle car doll?” Tommy asks you and you blush, not having paid much attention as you tried to block the brothers out of your mind.

“Like dad would let me,” You laugh and the look on your dad’s face confirms it, “But I’d love a Plymouth Coronet.” You admit, the Coronet a favourite of yours ever since your college boyfriend Steve had driven you fast in it, in more ways than one.

“Oh niche, but a good choice.” Tommy laughed but you saw the disapproval on your father’s face.

“You don’t need a muscle car, just get a nice little hatch back for commuting.” Your father scolds you and you try not to roll your eyes.

“If I wanted a sports car, I’d go for a Stingray,” You’re emboldened by the Miller brothers’ presence, and you see your father seethe at your words. He was always protective, especially when it came to cars and you, “Pretty sure Gordon Cooper and Buzz Aldrin had one, that’s rad.”

“Didn’t peg you for a NASA groupie sweetheart,” Joel drawls at you, an excited gleam in his eye as he looked you with delight, it was as if you being smart, hot, and funny was a turn on, go figure,  “Expensive taste your daughter has Howard,” Joel chuckles and you eye him cautiously, “Dangerous that.” He finishes, giving you a look that makes your tongue feel like it had dissolved. Everything about the way his eyes challenged you, the way his lips twitched up challengingly as he trapped you in his gaze, made you squirm.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Your dad mumbled and you shot him a look but he ignored it.

“Hey Tommy, wanna see my new fishing gear? Kid got me a load of nice stuff for my birthday, I’m sure you’d appreciate it.” Your dad offers and Tommy practically jumps out of his seat. Tommy had always loved fishing.

“You betcha, you two want to come see?” Tommy asks you with enthusiasm you hoped you would have for something one day.

“I’m good, I bought it for him after all.” You say not unkindly but you just weren’t interested. You’d gone to a tackle shop and gotten everything the little old man had told you to get. You were sure you’d overbought but you didn’t care, you’d made a modest amount of money waitressing so you didn’t mind spoiling your dad occasionally.

“I’m not much of a fisherman.” Joel say softly, his tone casual but you can see the vein on his neck bulging as he spoke.

“No matter, you’ll love this Tommy, let’s go.” Your dad was practically buzzing with excitement to show someone else the trove of fishing treasures in the spare room. Tommy drained his beer and followed your dad eagerly into the house, the patio door sliding shut with a hiss as you’re suddenly alone with Joel.

“So, you been avoiding me sweetheart?” Joel cuts straight to the chase and you stare wide eyed at him as he stares you down you, his chin cradled against his fists as he leans forward against the table. You freeze as you try to excuse it but you know its true.

“Just thought it would be best if we distanced ourselves.” You mumble pathetically as you play with the hem of your tank top.

“Best for whom?” He asks, his tone teasing as he continued to stare you down. He was playing with the edges of the play that sat on the icier tabletop.

“I dunno, for us? For my dad?” You fumble over your words, the mild chastisement turning you on as you try and avoid his gaze.

“So you didn’t see me topless last week? Running away like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar?” He asks with a darkness to his tone as he called you out on your bluff.

“I did, but I shut the curtains and went to bed.” You blurt, shameful you had been caught snooping. But it made you so hot, the way he lorded it over you, enjoying watching you squirm.

“You went to bed? That all?” He growls and you see the desire in his eyes as your mouth goes dry. Your arousal already burning a firm wet patch into your panties. His smile was dangerously hot as he teased you.

“No.” You breathe looking away as you feel the heat of embarrassment splash across your cheekbones.

“What did you do sweetheart? You read a book? Listen to some music? Fuck yourself?” He asks, his voice like honey as his questions dripped from his mouth.

“Joel, what are you-“ You ask, as he grasps your jaw, you hadn’t realised how close you had gotten, his coarse fingertips brushing against your skin with a fire that made you gasp.

“I didn’t just go to bed that night, I thought about you as I jerked off, no matter how hard I tried, you were there, always on my mind.” He breathed as he rubbed his rough thumb along your jaw. You shiver and blow the air through your nostrils harshly as you try to remain calm.

“I fucked myself Joel, thinking about you.” You admit, your eyes closed in embarrassment as you try not to rub your thighs together for some small release as your pussy ached for the man that had you in his grasp.

“Dirty girl, thinking about your dad’s best friend while you got off, so fucking dirty.” He growls as his other hand clamps on your thigh.

“Joel, my dad, Tommy.” You hiss, eyes flicking to the patio doors in alarm, terrified you’d get caught.

“I know sugar, but I needed to be sure, sure it wasn’t just the high or the alcohol.” He breathed and you melted as his lips met yours softly, teasingly, asking permission. He pulls back as you begin to speak.

“Joel I’ve wanted you for a long time, even when I was with my college boyfriend I often thought  of you.” You admit, the truth coming out like tumbling dice, the risk of rejection fresh in your mind as you realise what you had said.

“You bad girl, thinking about me when another man was between your legs.” He purrs as he kisses you again, his hot tongue firm against the seam of your lips. You gasp and let him press into your mouth, the sensation far beyond anything you could have ever imagined. His tongue dominated you as he pulled soft moans out of you. Your pussy was hot and wet and twitching as you tried not to throw all caution to the wind and straddle the older man.

“Joel we need to stop.” You breathe, breaking the kiss and forcing your forehead against his.

“I know baby, but I have to know, you got plans for tonight?” He asks, placing a sweet, tender kiss on the ridge of your nose.

“I dunno, I might see if I can find some young stud to fuck me senseless, forget about old man Miller.” You say, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you see Joel stare you down.

“Sassy, a little bratty, I like it, I’ll show you what this old man can do.” He grumbles as he holds your gaze.

“What about Sarah?” You ask, reality slicing through the heated moment.

“She’s going to a friend’s house and Tommy will be out with his girlfriend.” He responds with a wicked smile.

“Alright, what time do you want me over?” You say with a giddy trill.

“Now,” He growls as he nips your jaw, “But eight is good, I’ll order take-out.”

“It’s a date.” He drawls as he pulls away, the patio doors sliding open as if on cue. He settles back into his chair as if nothing had happened, his jeans tight as he leans forward to hide the very obvious tenting at his crotch as the swell of his erection strained against the unforgiving fabric.

“Sorry both, we got way too into the rod spools, and bait talk.” Your dad apologises as you reel from the lack of contact, your mind on fire as you try to act normally as Tommy and your father rejoined you. Joel and Tommy stay for some time, another beer making you slightly dizzy in the heat of the afternoon. You give your excuses, kissing your pop on the cheek before taking a long, cold shower before the painstaking task of counting the minutes until eight o’clock finally came.

***

You fidget on Joel’s back porch as you muster the courage to rap your knuckles on the old wooden door. You smooth down the blue sundress you’d decided on, you’d had it for years and it was your favourite summer date dress. The white roses on the dark fabric really popped in the low evening sun. You adjusted the straps slightly, your breasts pressed together against the fabric tightly,  it was a little small now, as you filled out a little in college but it made you feel confident, sexy. You tap gently on the glass facing with your knuckles and hold your breath, anticipation gnawing at your stomach.

 Joel opens the door with a wry smile, clearly about to tease you with a quip but his mouth drops open at the sight of you as you stand at his back door, soft, anxious eyes looking up at him. He’s wearing the same clothes as earlier but his feet are bare, something about that makes you smile.

“Evenin’,” Joel breathes as you watch him rake over every inch of your body with a hunger that made your pussy twitch, “That’s one hell of a dress.” He said as he continued to take you in, his lip darting out to moisten his dry lips.

“Thought you’d like it,” You say, your voice breathy and meek as you try and sound confident, “may I come in?” You ask with a chuckle, wondering if he was going to stand there all night just looking at you.

“Please.” Was all he could manage as he swallowed heavily. He was dying inside, you were so beautiful and the blood had rushed straight to his cock the moment he saw you. The way your cleavage was accentuated by the straining fabric of your dress. The scandalous black lace of your bra that peaked out as he watched your chest rise and fall.

I am going to hell, I am so fucked.

He thought to himself and you raise an eyebrow at him as he steps aside to let you in. The door had barely shut behind you as he pulled you into his arms, his mouth on yours as you threw your arms around his neck, hands lacing through his short curls at the nape of his neck as he groaned down into you. His hands were on your hips, fisting into the soft fabric of your dress, pinning you to him as he explored your mouth, lazily pushing against your tongue as he ground up against you. It was stupid, reckless, and so fucking hot.

His lips were plush and firm as he took your bottom lip between them, pulling another shameful groan from your mouth. You don’t want him to stop, you want him to take you until you screamed his name, but you hesitated as his tongue skirted your lip.

“Joel,” You moan as you come up for air, “Are you sure you want to do this?” You breathe, the hard press of his erection against your belly maddening as you try to get your thoughts straight. You want this so much but you knew how difficult this could be for him if you went through with it.

“Baby, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since last weekend, I need you.” He growls and your thoughts fizzle out into a puddle of desire and want, pushing back against him until he was pinned against the hallway wall as you took the time to cup his swelling cock, the other pulling at the buttons of his work shirt so you could leave open mouthed kisses on his chest. He shuddered under you and you smiled as you continued to kiss his bare skin. Your name fell from his mouth in a raptured moan.

“You like it when I touch you?” You ask, knowing the answer but you had to tease him, make up for the torture he put you through this afternoon. You rub against the hard swell of his erection as you spoke, lust emboldening you.

“Baby, I don’t like it, I love it.” He growls and spins you around, your back hitting the wall, his hands pinning yours above your head as he leans down into you, his hard cock pressing against your navel like a silent, hot threat. His breath came in short, breathy pants as he lingers over you, his nose ghosting along your own as you whine for him.

“Then fuck me Joel.” You whisper, the tension killing you as he crashes his mouth into yours with a hot, desperation you’d never known. Even your college boyfriend, horny and eager as he was, wasn’t this desperate for you, he was just horny and you happened to say yes.

“Yes ma’am.” He grunts as he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you up to bed. He throws you down onto the mattress and you bounce softly. Your hands already pulling at his shirt as he bears down on you. He pauses as he looks you up and down, lingering over you and you gasp as his heavy weight presses you into the mattress as he kisses you. Your drress is off in a matter of seconds, along with his shirt. The skin to skin contact electric as you feel his heat pressing down into you. He pulls back for a moment and rests between your knees as he drinks you in.

“I didn’t want to take that dress off, you look so pretty in it, but when I caught sight of this,” He loops a finger under the thin, lacy cup of your bra before pulling on it slightly, letting it snap back down with a small slap against your skin, “I had to see if your panties matched.” He growls as his hand trails down to the lacy fringe of your thong. He breathes out slowly as he traces the lace, his hand following the curve of your thigh stopping just short of your centre before he slides his hand back up to your knee, the other hand settling on his belt buckle.

“Gotta dress to impress for my pop’s best friend.” You croon and his jaw seizes, he hates how hot that gets him as his cock strains against the tight jeans.

“That dirty little mouth is going to be the death of me.” He growls playfully as he pops his jeans open, one button at a time as you watch him spring free of the tight fabric, a moist patch on his boxers made you gasp as you realised he was already slick with pre-cum.

“Joel please, I want to feel you inside me.” You beg, the outline of his erection in his white boxer shorts too much. You need him. He shifts back on the bed and pulls off his jeans and tosses them on the floor he’s slower with his boxers. Letting you fawn up at him as he inches the fabric down, his hip bones guiding you in as you take in his muscular body. The trail of dark hair thickening as it hugged the base of his cock, you gasp as it springs free the length and girth bigger than you anticipated. You swallowed as you tried to imagine how it was going to fit.

“So eager baby, never thought you’d be so easy to please.” He says softly as he watches your every twitch, every involuntary noise that falls from your lips. He lowers himself back down between your legs, his length pressing against your slit as he kisses your neck, his tongue trailing down to the swell of your breast. He pulls down the cup of your bra and latches his mouth onto your already hardened peak. His teeth scrape over the sensitive skin as his other hand snaked around and deftly unhooked your bra.

“I’m actually quite the stubborn bitch.” You argue breathlessly as you writhe up and whimper as your hips pitch against his chest. The pressure on your nipple driving you nuts as you moan under him. He helps you remove your arms from your bra and starts to trail kisses down your sternum, nipping as the soft flesh of your thighs as he lines himself up against your lace covered cunt.

“Is that so?” Joel mutters as he pulls your panties off in one quick motion, “I think you’re lying to me baby.” He murmurs as he places a soft kiss onto your bare, hairless pubic region. You feel like you’re going to explode, the rumbling of his voice against your sensitive clit maddening.

“I got waxed for last week at the club in case I got laid,” You argue, the heat in your stomach boiling over as he teases you still, “Nothing about you made me wax.” You insist but the hot wet lap against your clit made you choke on your words. Joel’s tongue was buried deep in your folds as he devoured your cunt in his supple lips.

“So I was your sloppy seconds?” He asks as he pulls away, looking up into your eyes with devilish fire behind his dilated pupils.

“Fuck off Miller.” You grunt, not playing his game, not when you were so tightly wound. You were so ready to just have him, you were so desperate for him you couldn’t take the games and he knew it.

“Maybe you’re thinking about Tommy eh? He is more age appropriate after all.” He purred before kissing your clit with the same fervour as when he kisses into your mouth. Your breath catches as the sensation threatens to unravel you. The hot wet strokes on the tight bundle of nerves building into a devastating crescendo.

“No, fuck no Joel, only you.” You breathe as you think of Tommy, the sensation of Joel’s thick finger entering you ripping a snarl out of your mouth. He curls his finger up into you, pressuring against your walls as he feels for something. You almost ask what when it hits you, the blinding pressure point only you had ever hit before. You shudder, your mouth going slack as the sensation spread through your loins.

“So you weren’t drinking him in while I watched?” Joel asks, stilling his finger while he looked up at you, his lips hovering just too far away from your cunt. The pressure was an intense burn and you squirm, clenching around him.

“I looked at him, only because I was trying not to fucking look at you.” You snap as you tug at the soft curls on his head. The resulting moan made you shudder and you grind up into his face.

“Why baby? Can’t look at me without getting wet?” He asks, tongue swirling around your clit as he slowly pumps you with his finger.

“No.” You whisper truthfully, Joel drove you mad.

“Fuck, you’re driving me nuts baby,” He breathes against the swollen lips of your cunt, “You want me to wear a rubber?” He asks before his lips latch onto the swollen bundle of nerves of your clit.

“You got anything I should know about?” You breathe as his tongue brutalised your clit, not slowing for anything as he pumped up into you with another of his fingers. The dual pressure against that sweet spot threatening to drive you insane. You buck your hips up against his mouth and grind against his strong nose.

“Got myself checked out last week, nothing on me baby.” He breathes as he stops mouthing your pussy, looking up at your through thick eyelashes.

“Then we don’t need a condom, I got tested after I caught my college boyfriend cheating on me with my roommate, my IUD is good for a few years.” You huff as he places chaste, lingering kisses on your folds.

“What a fucking idiot boy, what would possess someone to cheat when you’re right here?” He says as he places soft open mouthed kisses on your thigh, his fingers still pumping you slowly as you replied.

“Fuck knows, he didn’t even go down on me so I don’t think he really knew what he had.” You say with a burst of confidence, Joel is smiling up at you with something akin to pride.

“Good, I like it when you talk yourself up, he’s missing out on some of the best pussy I’ve ever tasted baby, you’re so fucking good I could eat you out for hours.” His words make you clench around his strong fingers, the pressure building as you know you’re so close to your own release.

“Fuck me Joel, I’m begging you, I need you. Please”

“You don’t have to ask me twice. ” He says with a breathy moan against your cunt.

“Good, want to feel you fill me up.” You mewl as you lose yourself to the pure pleasure of Joel Miller’s tongue and fingers between your legs. You were sweating in the late August heat and your slick was dripping into the folds of the bedsheets.

“Baby, you’re such a tease.” He breathes as he pulls away, shifting on the bed, to nestle himself between your knees. The head of his cock slick with his own pre-cum, dragged from your clit to your entrance and back again as he twitched the head of his cock against the live wire of your mound.

“Joel.” You beg, you’re salivating as you watch him as his cock presses on your sensitive clit, almost challenging you to cum on the spot.

“What to you need from me darlin’?” He drawls as he presses hard enough against your entrance to make you gasp and anticipate the stretch, but not enough to enter you fully.

“I need you to fill me with your cock Joel, fuck me, please.” You breathe, no longer able to deny the desire in your heart and the blistering heat at the apex of your thighs. You were never this bold, this sure of what you wanted, but Joel was everything you ever imagined, attentive, eager, not just chasing his own desire. You want to meet his eagerness, you want to give him everything as he draws it out of you.  

“As you wish.” He moans as he presses into you, the slow, hot press of his thick cock stretching you around him. The pain hits you like a low burn, the stretch of your walls making you wince, but there was a warmth, a pleasure to it that drove out the pain from your mind.

“All ok?” Hi voice is soft as he rubs his thumb over your cheek as he stills himself, half-in, making sure you could take him. The pain begins to ease as you force yourself to relax.

“It’s sore,” You admit with a groan, getting used to the sting of your walls stretching around him, “But I like it.” You groan as your pussy begs for the rest.

“Fuck baby, you like it when I stretch you out?” He grumbles as he eases further into you.

“Yes, I feel so full.” You gasp as you take him in slowly, pressing further into your core with the pull on your ankles on his hips to show how eager you were, no matter the soft burn of pain as you took his thick length in to the hilt.

“Fuck baby, you’re doing so well, so fucking well.” He wheezes as his hand falls to your clit, his eyes are closed as he holds himself still inside you for a moment.

“Joel, you feel so fucking good.” You gasp as your breath comes in heady gasps.

“Good, because you’re driving me wild, I want you to feel good baby.” He says as he starts a slow, easy rhythm as he presses his fingers roughly against the swollen bundle of nerves of your clit. The sensation is too much and you’re about to come as he flashes you a smile.

“You’re clenching round me so hard baby, you gonna come for me?” He purrs as he pulls almost all of the way out, waiting for your response.

“Yes Joel, I’m going to-“ You don’t get the last word out as he fucks down into you with one hard, devastating thrust as he buries himself into you with a grunt, his tight balls slapping against your ass as you scream out his name.

The rhythm he picks up is punishing as you see stars, you cum hard and fast around his pulsating cock, the pleasure making your toes curl, your fingers dig into his forearms as you anchor yourself to him. The pleasure threatens to unravel your mind as you reach your climax. Joel pants your name as his rhythm stutters and you see his face contort in bliss as he finishes with a single, snapping thrust as he paints your quivering walls with his spend.

“Fuck.” You say in unison as Joel collapses on top of you. His strong nose presses against your neck as he pants from exertion.

“Joel fucking Miller,” You breathe as you kiss his shoulder, your hands drawing idle patterns along his spine. He shivers and you smile at the way you could make him fall apart under your touch, “That was amazing.”

“Fuck yeah it was, you ok? I didn’t hurt you? Go too far?” He murmurs against your skin as he palms the flesh of your ass with one hand, the other preparing himself to pull out.

“I’d argue not far enough.” You tease, wondering if he would fuck you that hard every time, you hope so.

“Careful what you wish for sugar,” He laughs softly as he pulls out, groaning as he leaves you, “I don’t want to scare you off just yet.”

“I don’t scare easy Miller.” You smile up at him with a wicked grin as he returns a goofy smile as you ride the last waves of your high. He slumps down on the bed next to you stealing a chase kiss against your shoulder before heading into the en suite. You hobble after him cupping yourself as your mixed spend leaks from you delightfully.

“What’re you doing? I was going to come and clean you up.” He asks, an eyebrow raised as he looks at you over his shoulder. The sound of him relieving himself making you blush as you stare at the white tiles to your left.

“I also need to pee, and it’s good practice, I do not want a UTI.” You grumble as he pulls the toilet seat down, moving out of your way as he leans against the doorframe. His arms folded loosely across his chest.

“Nasty business UTI’s, good call.” He nods in approval as he turns away while you pee, the overstimulation from cleaning yourself up jarring as you shudder. You study his profile, the strong jaw, prominent nose, hair matted to his head with sweat. Your heart fluttered in your chest.

Fuck, he’s gorgeous.

You flush the toilet and walk over to him, pressing your bare skin against his as you place a soft kiss against his stubbly cheek. You want to kiss every inch of him.

“And if I had to wait out a UTI to fuck you again, I’d die.” You murmur against his skin and you feel his cock twitch at your words.

“Damn right, but hey, the take-out should be here soon, and I’m starving.” He says softly as he places a tender kiss to the top of your head.

“Same, but we’re doing this again right?” You ask as your stomach rumbles loudly, but your heart feels a little tender as you imagine the possibility of not having his mouth, or his cock, between your legs again.

“Fuck right we are, but we need to eat, go on, get dressed.” He spanks your ass hard and you yelp as the pleasure-rich sting made you want to skip dinner. But you see the look in his eyes and you know this was not something he was going to change his mind on.

“Yes Mr. Miller.”

Chapter Text

Showing up Joel Miller.

The sound of a backfiring engine roused you from sleep as your ears perked up to hear the spluttering of a very sickly sounding V8 engine. You smile, already excited to see how this was going to play out. You stretch out in your bed, sad not to have stayed with Joel last night but Sarah’s friend got sick half way through the evening so you had to sneak home. Your pop asked what happened and you said you didn’t feel like staying out. He seemed pleased at that, which annoyed you but you weren’t in the mood to argue.

You rolled over and saw that you had a text, you flipped the phone open and smile as you see who it was.

Contact: DBF

“Hey sorry u couldn’t stay. But T’s coming over today, will see you soon.”

You feel the heat pooling in your belly as you study the contact name, you had asked for his cell number, realising you’d not ever done so before, and you insisted on the contact name. Both for some thin veil of privacy and because it made you laugh. Joel was much more upfront, naming your contact Blue Dress.

You text back quickly before throwing the phone back on the bed.

“No probs, jumping in shower, c u soon.”

You sing softly to yourself as you shower, your mood riding high, already knowing what outfit to wear for the day, you heard your text tone call out from the bedroom as you’re brushing your teeth and pad out, towel clutched wrapped around you, hair wet around your shoulders. You flip it open and read the message, the heat of arousal twisted in your chest as you read the words.

DBF: “Same, a bit dirty from last night. ;-)”

Your breath hitches in your throat as you relived the rough, desperate touch of Joel Miller on your skin. Your curtain is closed and you had a thought, you ripped the curtains open and let the early morning sunshine cascade through the window. Your phone buzzes as you’re temporarily blinded by the sunlight, you check the phone before you look back to the window.  

DBF: “Knew you’d look.”

You look up to see Joel in the window again, he had a soft white towel wrapped around his waist as he learnt forward against the window frame. You knew he was smirking, you knew he was enjoying this. You felt the twinge of arousal as you started to punch out another text.

“Because you’re a dirty perv. Maybe I should let my towel slip??? x”

You watch with glee at his reaction to reading your words, he physically flinched and then his head snapped up to try and meet your gaze, but your curtains were already closed, pulled shut quickly so he didn’t even know if you had let it slip or not.

BDF: “Dirty girl.”

Your heart was in your mouth as you read the two words over and over. You were going to pay for that but you were not-so-secretly banking on it.

You towelled off your hair and tied it up to keep it out of your eyes. You open your suitcase to find the outfit you were looking for. You were putting off unpacking properly as you didn’t want to settle in, get too comfortable, you want to move out soon, the convenience of being so close was worth living with your dad a little longer. For now.

You pulled on an old white tank top, your favourite denim overalls, Diego’s Garage emblazoned on the back, tying the top half around your waist by the sleeves, and slipped on some work boots before stomping down the stairs and out the door. You can already hear Joel, he was clearly scolding Tommy and the thought made you smile as you head down the porch steps and make for the  garage. Tommy had driven the 70 Boss Mustang into the garage next to your dad’s Shelby. You smiled as the smell of motor oil and gasoline filled your lungs. It probably wasn’t healthy to huff the fumes, but you always loved the smell of a worked-in garage.

“What have you done to her Tommy? She sounds terrible.” You ask casually as you enter the garage, all three men straighten as you enter and freeze. Your father, Tommy, and Joel eye you with suspicion for a moment before all three of their expressions changed. Your father looks unimpressed, Tommy somewhat startled, and Joel. Well, Joel was looking at you, slack jawed and desperate as he took you in.

“Hey Bonita,” Tommy calls out, breaking the tense silence quickly already embarrassed by Joel’s scolding, “Where’d you get a rad outfit like that?” He asks looking you up and down greedily. You can see Joel burning holes into Tommy with the look he was giving him and you let yourself enjoy this moment. Gentle jealously looked good on Joel Miller.

“Well, when you’re studying in California, shit’s expensive,” You say slowly, eyes trained on Tommy as you watch him falter a little, “And I’ve grown up around Car Guys and Gear Heads my whole life, so I got a job.”

“I thought you were waitressing hon?” Your dad asks and you wince, caught in the lie. The disapproval etched on his face wasn’t about the lie, but your working with cars, with men, and the implications it brought.

“I did, for a time, but it barely funded my beer money pop, working with cars funded it all.” You admit with a shrug, trying to de-escalate any opinions he might have.

“You should have said, I could have gotten the money together for you.” Your dad is suddenly embarrassed, but you just smile at him, as softly as you can manage, you walk over to him and put your hand on his shoulder.

“I wanted to do it pop, if I needed help I would have asked, but this is what I wanted to do.” You say, none of it a lie, you enjoyed working on cars and it paid better than the waitressing and working in Starbucks combined.

“Still…” He grumbled but didn’t follow up. You look back to the Miller brothers and smirked at their sheepish expressions. The tone in the garage was low, the tension heavy.

“So, you working on the timing?” You ask as you turn to Joel to re-direct to the topic you were eager to return to.

“Yeah, you heard how she sounded when he drove her in?” Joel asks you with venom, clearly angry with his brother.

“I did, what have you been doing Tommy?” You turn to him and he smiles nervously at you.

“Joel hasn’t taken her out in months so I took her for some TLC, the timing was out-“

“The timing was out?” You ask exasperated as you look at the closed bonnet of the orange and black accented Mustang, “Then what the hell did I just hear?” You ask, mechanic brain taking hold as you lost your patience with the younger Miller.

“Well I tried to adjust the timing.” He admits as he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, just like his brother. One of many things they shared.

“Did you disconnect the vacuum advance when it was idling?” You ask, noticing Joel’s smile as he watched you pick his brother apart.

“Of course I did.” Tommy puffs up as he objects to your questioning.

“Ok, but did you block off the vacuum advance port while you set the timing?” And the realisation hits Tommy and his brow furrows as he acknowledges his fuck up.

“I didn’t think so, open her up I want to take a look at how you Miller boys have been treating her.” You bark and surprisingly both of the Millers jump into action, obeying you. All the while you could feel your father’s disapproving gaze bore into you which only spurred you on.

“Ok what have we got here?” You ask yourself as you inspect the engine bay with a scrutinising eye. Your heart sinks as you see the dirt, dust and grime caked engine and you grumble at the neglect.

“I am not fixing this, but I am making you a list Joel Miller.” You hiss as you look up into the wide eyes of the man who made you scream bloody murder last night. His smirk spurred you on but he quickly hid it with a feigned look of disapproval.

“What? Why me?” He blurts, his back up as you challenge him so openly, but you know he’s playing along, you can see the softness in his eyes as he spoke, letting you know he realised his part in this too.

“Tommy’s fucked up the timing but this,” You point to the neglect in the engine bay, “When was the last time you did an oil change Joel? When did you last change the tires for pity’s sake?” You gesture to the bald tires and roll your eyes dramatically. The guys in the garage had brought you up to an almost snobby level of car maintenance expectations. Joel’s mouth twitched slightly as he watched you list off every imperfection you find. He liked that fire, liked that you knew what you were doing.

“It’s been a while.” He admits, pouting as he looks away. You smirk as his profile mirrors the profile you drooled over last night as he stood in the en suite doorway. You drink him in for a second before turning to Tommy.

“You and Joel need to get this sorted or this hunk of junk will rot before your very eyes.” You draw up a list of things to do and both Tommy and Joel grimace at its length.

“Welcome home princess.” Tommy grumbles as he realises how much work you had tasked them with. Joel just smirks at you as you roll your eyes at him.

“Hey hon,” Your dad calls to you and beckons you out of the garage with a stern look on his face, “Why’d you go doing that? Making them feel all small, we were having a good time.” You look incredulously at your father as you take in his words.

“Right, ok I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in front of our friends.” You keep your voice low, not wanting to bring the Millers into this.

“Don’t be like that hon, why don’t you just go get us some beers yeah? You can keep us company while we work, and go and change, you look ridiculous.” You blink twice, astonished at how dismissive he was being. You feel like screaming, or crying but you simply nod.

“Sure Pop, I’ll get those beers.” You say, something in the back of your mind telling you to back down, it’s not worth the hassle to challenge him. The thought worried at the back of your mind as you solemnly obeyed your father. You quickly change into a pair of cargo shorts but keep the old stained tank top on, a small act of defiance. You grab three beers and pour a glass of ice tea for yourself.

“Here you go boys,” You say with a forced smile, Joel’s eyes narrow immediately, he looks you up and down, noticing the change of clothes, and the change in your demeanour, “I’m going to go call around some bars and restaurants nearby to see if they have any vacancies, enjoy the car talk.” You try and force the smile as your father grabs you by the shoulder and squeezes so hard it hurts.

“Good girl, see you later hon.” He said softly but you recognised the saccharine tone in his voice, it was anything but kind. You try not to wince at the pressure but you know Joel can see the outline of your father’s hand on your shoulder as you dip out of the garage.

You run to your room and throw yourself on the bed, tears streaming down your face as the memories of living at home came back like a flash flood. You’d forgotten how bitter your dad could be, how short a leash he always kept you on. You’d managed to understand what living truly was in Cali, and now you were trapped again. Instead of looking for jobs, you flick the newspaper open to the rental pages.

***

“So you need someone to co-sign? Even if I can give you three months rent upfront?” You ask with strain in your voice as the very nice lady on the other end of the line tells you the same thing that every one of the other many, many, rental agents had.

“Sorry miss, without a co-sign, with no job, and no rental reference in Texas, we can’t take the risk. Sorry I couldn’t help, have a nice day.”

“You too Katie.” You say without any bitterness but you were tired. You hear the woman on the other end of the phone chuckle, clearly uplifted that you remembered her name. The line goes dead and you sigh, throwing yourself back against the bed and sulk. You know you have reasons to be mad, but you felt so guilty, so humiliated. The knock at the door startled you, you looked at your watch and saw it was already seven. You considered not answering, pretending to sleep, but you got up and answered.

“What?” You groan, excepting it to be your father.

“Hey Princess, you want to catch some dinner with me, Joel, and Sarah? We’re going to that Mexican place you like.” Tommy calls from the hallway, you smile at the sincerity in the younger brother’s voice and nod to yourself.

“Alright Tommy, can I at least shower first?”

“Sure Princess but you’ve got fifteen minutes or we’re leaving without you.” Tommy teases you and you can see the sly grin of his in your mind, bright white teeth, daringly handsome as he tries to bait you into a rise.

“Alright T, I’ll be with you soon.” You call back as you hear his heavy footsteps fade down the hallway.

You shower quickly, slipping back into your cargo shorts but replacing the tank top with a white Star Wars t-shirt, you wanted to cover up the reddening skin from your dad’s punishing grip. You soothe the skin through the shirt and take a steadying breath. You weren’t going to let him ruin your night.

You slip on some sneakers and apply a little bit of makeup. Just some mascara, blush and at the last minute you glide some cherry red lipstick over your lips and spritz a sweet floral perfume on your neck and wrists. You grab your keys, purse, lipstick, phone, and your wallet before jogging down the stairs. You were already in a better mood.

“Don’t stay out too late sweetheart.” Your father’s voice comes from the living room, he’s watching a game loud but he managed to make himself heard. You were glad he couldn’t see you, you’d know he’d disapprove of the lipstick.

“No worries Pop, I’m with the Millers, they’ll look after me.” You say sweetly, the underlying meaning behind your words making you smile. You were out the door and power walking to the Miller’s front door when you saw him waiting on the top step of the front porch, he was lost in thought as he looked forwards, not having noticed you yet. He was in a black Motörhead t-shirt and faded blue jeans. The shirt stretched deliciously across his broad chest, and the jeans hugged his thick thighs like they were painted on.

“Hey there Joel, you alright?” You ask tentatively, the fear of being scolded again fresh in your mind.

He’s not your dad.

You have to remind yourself as his gaze snaps to you, his eyes are dark and angry as he looks you over, his face softens, the firm line of his mouth curving up as he rakes over your body, but you realise he’s not just drinking you in, he’s assessing you, looking for something.

“Earth to Joel?” You ask, squirming uncomfortably at the scrutiny and he seems to snap out of it and truly looks you in the eye.

“Sorry gorgeous, just wanted to make sure he didn’t lay a hand on you.” He grumbles and the protective side of Joel Miller made you shamefully hot. The way his voice dropped low, his eyes scouring every inch of your skin, it was delicious.

“He would never, I was just out of line, I’m sorry you had to see that.” You drop your gaze, your shoulder was already bruising, you could feel the ache under your skin. You were terrified Joel would see it, you didn’t want things to go so wrong so soon after things were going so right for once.

“You have nothing to apologise for, your dad just couldn’t stand that a woman, his little girl no less, was right about something he feels he’s an expert on. Most men can’t hack that.” Joel says, his tone was judgemental but you felt it wash over you, his scorn wasn’t intended for you.

“Didn’t peg you for a feminist Joel Miller,” You tease as you close the distance and sit on the porch next to him. Just far enough away that it looked innocent but you knocked your sneaker against the toe of his boot, “It suits you.”

“I’m raising a fourteen year old girl alone, with Tommy in my home, I don’t have a choice gorgeous.” He places his palm flat on the porch, his pinky brushing the side of your hand as he chuckled at you.

“Careful there Miller,” You purr, his touch still electrifying, even at such a simple brush of your sin. The hair on your neck stood up and you close your eyes. You wonder if it’ll ever stop feeling so good, “You might ruin my appetite with all that sweetness.”

“You wanna stay tonight gorgeous?” He whispers, still looking forward, deliberately not looking at you. Trying to play it cool.

“I’d love to, but pretty sure that’d be a bad idea.” You say as you try not to whimper as his pinky ghosts the curve of your palm, reaching the sensitive thin skin of your wrist. You exhale through your nose to satisfy the need to release the tension building between the apex of your thighs. You hear him hum at the sound which only makes you want him more intensely.

“I could take the couch, you can have my bed.” He rumbles the words out and you can tell that the way you were reacting to his gentle teasing was winding him up too. You go to rebuke him lightly but Sarah screams your name from the front door and your mouth spreads into a fierce grin as you turn to look at the young woman as she barrels towards you. Joel’s hand leaves your wrist in a flash and you wink at him before charging up to meet Sarah mid-way.

“How’re you doing little Triceratops?” You ask, and Sarah’s face scrunches up and you realise how much she had grown up since you left for college. She was a teenager now, and a sassy one.

“Come on, it’s Sarah, I’m not a kid any more.” She huffs but still squeezes you tightly as you embrace. You smirk at Tommy over her head as he follows her out. He’s wearing a plain white shirt and dark jeans, his sneakers not too dissimilar to your own. The pair of you almost match, your dark cargo shorts only slightly lighter than his loose jeans.

“Sorry Sarah, I’ve been gone for some time, I can’t believe how much you’ve grown up!” You say honestly, feeling like you’d missed out on so much being so far away, only coming back for Christmas and Thanksgiving. You didn’t even come back for the Miller’s 4^th of July celebrations, which were legendary, because you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“You sticking around for a bit now though yeah?” She asks with her eyes wide as Joel sidles up to you both.

“I’m not going anywhere, any time soon.” You say, but it’s not just for her benefit, you want Joel to know this isn’t some temporary fling, you were in it, whatever it was, for the long run.

“Maybe we should get going though,” Tommy urges, checking his watch periodically, “We’ll lose our reservation if we don’t shake a leg.”

“Alright into the truck let’s go!” Joel ushered Tommy and Sarah on but held back for a second to walk in time with you, “We’ll make this work, don’t you worry gorgeous, I’m not going anywhere either.” He whispers as he brushes his fingers against yours.

“Good, now come on Miller, I’m starving.” You nudge him with your hips as you get into the truck. The flash of his smile sends shivers down your spine as the creases around his eyes deepen, the curve of his mouth popping into that sweet little dimple.  Too soon he it was gone as he hops into the drivers seat.

“So Sarah, how’s school going? Your dad says you’re in the debate team, and the gymnastics team too?” You ask, keen to reconnect with the young woman who had always made you smile.

“I love debate, even if the silly rules can mean people speak for too long even if they have nothing real to say.” She huffs and your eyebrows raise as you listen to the little fire brand she had become.

“I never liked debate, boys always talked too loud and the topics were never about the important things…” You pause, wondering if mentioning gun control in a car with Joel and Tommy was a good idea.

“Yeah, it’s always about foreign policy, or some boring federal policies. There’s almost never  discussion about things like race inequality and wealth inequality, or bigotry. It’s all a little white.” She says and her gaze flicks up to the rear view mirror, you follow her gaze to see Joel grinning like an idiot as he hears his daughter express herself. You feel deeply fortunate to share this moment with them both. Tommy just rolls his eyes but you’re not surprised, he was still hanging on to the arrogance of youth.

“I’ve got a paper I wrote when I was a little older than you on income inequality and racism in the US that I got an A on, it even helped me get into college as it was featured in some education magazine.” You say, and to your surprise Joel pipes up.

“You got an A+, remember?” He says, catching your gaze in the mirror, “You danced all around the house with it.” The memory comes back to you slowly and you smile.

“Yeah I remember coming round to tell you and your folks, you were so pleased for me…” You trail off, not mentioning why you’d gone to the Millers’ in the first place.

And dad told me to shut up and play outside because he was watching the game.

“Here we are.” Tommy cuts through your thought process.

“Alright everyone out.” Joel orders and you tumble out, still a little shaken from the fresh trip down memory lane. Joel let’s Tommy and Sarah go in first, they were already talking about some cartoon Sarah was obsessed with.

“Hey, let’s have a good night yeah?” He asks softly as he cups your cheek, you flick your eyes to the door but it’s dark enough that you’re sure no-one could see you.

“Thank you.” You whisper as he places a chase kiss on your lips before pulling away, making sure to check that he hadn’t rubbed your lipstick as he rubbed his hand over his mouth. The sensation left little pulses of heat on your lips as you feel the tension in your shoulders easing slightly.

“Anything for you gorgeous, now come on, lets eat.”

You follow Joel in and the smell of food hits you like a warm hug, which in turn set off a catastrophic rumble from your stomach. Joel laughs as you make your way to the table. You take your seat opposite Tommy as Joel slides in next to you. Once again you were hemmed in by the Miller Brothers and you feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks as you feel both of their eyes on you. Never at the same time, but each were stealing glances at you as you spoke with Sarah.

“So Sarah, how’s your Spanish coming along?” You ask as you flip through the menu.

“Not bad, I’m getting B’s so far, I’d like to get better at it.” She says with a slightly mournful look on her face.

“I’m happy to help you with that if you want?” You offer and Tommy shoots you a look.

“¿Hablas español Muñeca?” Tommy asks and you glare at him, wanting to cuss him out but you couldn’t risk him having taught Sarah swears. Because of course he would.

“Yo no soy una Muñeca.” You respond kicking him in the shin instead of swearing at him. He winces and you take the point.

“Hey there folks, you ready to order?” The young woman asked as your server approached your table. You watched her take in the Millers and you smiled absently to yourself as you knew exactly how it felt to feel flustered by the brothers. You break the glare with Tommy and smile sweetly up at her.

“Yes, I’ll have the beef burrito with extra hot sauce, extra cheese and no ranch.” You say confidently as you needed to focus on something else. She was maybe sixteen, with a beautifully applied face of makeup, accentuating her already pretty face. Her hair was dark and pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her glassy amber eyes met yours with warmth.

“Same for me.” Joel says flatly and you avoid his gaze as best you can.

“I’ll have the pork tacos, and a side of fries.” Tommy smiles up at the girl and you could see the flush on her pale skin as she tried to remain calm.

“I’ll have the quesadillas please.” Sarah said and you smiled at her, so pleased to see she was confident, able to order for herself.

“Any drinks?” the server asked as you saw her trying to figure out the dynamics between the odd quartet that you bade up.

“Some water for the table, and a large glass of red wine for me please.” You say and the server nods.

“I’ll have the same as the lady.” Joel says with a warm smile up at the server.

“Coors for me.” Tommy flashes an even more enthusiastic smile at the server and you sigh.

“Just water for me please.” Sarah places her order and the server is gone. You wait until you think she’s out of earshot.

“Stop it you two,” You hiss and both the Miller boys look at you with wide eyes, Sarah looks at you with a quizzical expression, “You’re playing with that young lady like she’s a piece of meat, cut it out.” You grumble, hoping you weren’t just being jealous.

“Sorry Princess, that’s on me, I’ll behave.” Tommy promises and you doubt it but let the issue go. Joel waits until Tommy and Sarah start talking again before his hand falls to your knee and he gives you a gentle squeeze as he smiles at you apologetically.

You roll your eyes and let your hand fall to meet his. Your fingers lace together like you had done it a thousand times, it was exhilarating how easily you found each other, how easy you fit together.  Sarah smiles at you, clearly enjoying that you put the older men in their place. You wink at her which only serves to make her grin flourish into a soft laugh.

“So Sarah, you want me to stop by in the afternoons to help you with some of your school work, I’ve got to let you know I’m terrible at math though. Algebra, I get, but standard math? Whoosh.” Your say as you pass your free hand over the top of your head. This earns a laugh from Sarah and she turns to Joel.

“Can she dad? Please?” She asks sweetly and you see that unspoken, steadfast connection between them again.

“Sure, but I’m insisting that you take some money for it.” Joel looks back at you, clenching your fingers between his.

“Alright, but I’m not taking more than ten dollars a week, or a take-out here and there.” You push back, the excuse to get out of your house enough for you to do the work, but you also know that you’ll feel safe and comfortable at the Millers.

“Twenty, and the occasional take-out.” He negotiates and you smile, nodding in agreement as your drinks arrived. You toasted and the night continued on peacefully. The food was delicious and at every chance you had, you were finding Joel with your fingertips. He was just as eager but always watchful, stealing touches only when he was certain he could get away with it.

The night flew by and you excused yourself to use the restroom as everyone finished up. You hailed down the young lady who was your server and asked for the bill, but to not bring it to the table. You hovered around her terminal for a bit until she came by.

“So which one of those lucky men calls you his?” She asks with an uplifted eyebrow and you realise now that her flustered tone had been about you. You smirk at her, feeling a little bad for chewing the boys out now.

“Neither, but maybe one of them, some day.” You admit, already getting out your wallet to pay up when you see Joel catch you in the act. He eyes you, then the server, and his eyes narrow at you.

“Oh shit, busted,” You hiss as Joel stalks towards you, “Here, take this as a tip.” You press the fifty into her palm and leave the rest of the bills on the counter. You turn and Joel is already up in your space, you hear the chuckle of the server behind you and you feel the embarrassment flush along your cheekbones.

“You just do what I think you did?” He asks, a rough, yet amused tone to his voice.

“You bet it Miller, you guys helped me get through what would have been a really shitty evening, also, I had to compensate the young lady for all the sex eyes you and Tommy were giving her.”

“You’re so oblivious aren’t you gorgeous?” Joel growled and you shudder under his scolding tone, you wanted him to talk to you like that more, to scold you while he did unspeakable things to you.

“Not completely,” You giggle, halting your hands as they touched his arm, “But I still wanted to leave a good tip, to pay you and Tommy,” You pause, “And Sarah for everything you have done for me over the years.” You admit, looking away as you flushed under his gaze, the heat now visceral between your legs as he loomed over you.

“There’s no debt there gorgeous, we love-” He falters and corrects, “You’re family to us, there should never be debt with family.”

“Alright Miller, nice side step, come on, I’m exhausted and your bed is calling to me.” You whisper as you place a delicate, fleeting press of your lips against his stubbled jaw. He snatches at your ass and growls in your ear at your words.

“Go.” He says before turning back to the table. You watch him go before following the party out to the truck. Your mind a little fuzzy from the wine and saturated with the scent, touch, sounds and nature of Joel Miller. You relax to the staccato banter as the Millers chat amongst themselves as you just let yourself listen to them. But you’re exhausted, run down, unable to keep up with their close-knit dynamic. You didn’t mind, just being asked along was enough for you. For now. The truck pulled into the Millers’ driveway far too quickly and you sighed, knowing you should head back home.

“Hey, come in hermosa, for a nightcap?” Tommy insisted and you obliged, in no rush to go back into that house. You looked over to see the lights were off and you let that embolden you.

“Sure, but I have to get back soon.” You protest, Sarah had fallen asleep on the car ride home, Joel scooped her up and carried her upstairs as you took a seat on the sofa. Tommy appeared from the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey in one hand, three cut crystal glasses in the other. He sat opposite you and began pouring out a large measure for you each. Joel soon joins you, but not before fiddling with the turntable next to the window, he set it low and the familiar static-scratch of the needle of the record brought a smile to your lips as you hear the classical music play out into the room.

“So how’re you doll?” Tommy asks you as the three of you toast. The soft light of the standing lamps illuminated the room with a soft ochre glow. The lighting was intimate, almost sultry.

“I’m fine, asshole,” You glower at Tommy, finally free to abuse him as you like now Sarah was out of earshot, “I already told you I’m no doll.” You retort.

“Tommy leave it alone.” Joel growls but that only emboldens Tommy, rising to his brother’s challenge.

“Is it really a crime to tell a pretty girl that she’s just that?” He smirks at you as you roll your eyes.

“Tommy, I’ve had men between my legs twice as suave as you, and every time it was my choice to break it off.” You purr as you stare Tommy down.

“Damn girl, you’ve grown the fuck up.” Tommy laughs as he relaxes back into his seat, siping slowly at his whisky.

“Yeah college, working in a Latino garage, and freedom does that to a gal.” You say with a shrug, finally taking a small sip of the amber liquid in your glass. It’s harsh and bitter on your tongue at first but like most bourbons it mellowed after a moment, the warmth and rich sweet-woody flavour coated your tongue.

“So what lead you to working in a Latino garage?” Joel asks with a raised brow, watching every subtle move you made as you shifted under his intense gaze.

“They were the only one that would take a woman on, admittedly I did start off doing PA type stuff, getting them beers or picking up their lunch and shit for the first three months, soon I started to do the work after hours to tune up some of the shit heaps they had in the garage.”

“They let you touch the cars?” Tommy was eager as he questioned you, clearly enthralled by your tale and unafraid to show it. But Joel just smiled, watching the two of you interact as he silently relished in his brother trying way too hard for a woman who he knew was not interested.

“Nope, I had a spare key. Just went in on the nights where I couldn’t sleep due to stress, or the dry heat of Cali, then just worked through the nights. It kept my mind off things.” You spill a little more willingly than you would normally but you were feeling relaxed for the first time since you came home.

“So what did they do?” Joel asks this time and you feel torn between the brothers. You want to lie, make up some cool story but you opted for the truth, knowing that you could be honest with them, you have always been able to be yourself with them.

“Diego threw me three pairs of overalls and started paying me well.” You shrug and the smile that turns up the corners of Joel’s lips, eyes crinkled at the edges, glistening darkly with affection, makes your heart sore. Tommy just shakes his head and laughs.

“You’re a piece of work Princess.” He says with reverence you didn’t expect.

“I just wanted to be around cars while I was away. Learn everything I could, that just seemed the best way.” You shrug, basking in the praise a little as you drain the last of the whisky from your glass.

“I think I’m going to call it a night. You ok to take her home Joel?” Tommy asks as he yawns. He’s already on his feet and with a wave he’s on his way to his room.

“Of course, night Tommy.” Joel says absently as he drains the last of the whiskey in his glass. The classical music lilts through the air as you stare him down, he spreads his knees, leaning forward as his dark eyes locked onto yours.

“Maybe I should go home.” You whisper as you as you watch his every movement. Now that you were alone the air in the room felt close, heavy in your lungs as you run your tongue along your lips as you taste the bourbon on your pallet once more.

“Whatever you want gorgeous, but the bed is all yours, as is that couch.” His voice is only just above a whisper but you hear him loud and clear. The soft touches, stolen kisses and hushed words of the evening bubbled over and you look into his eyes.

“Take me to bed Joel.” You whisper and he reacts without a sound, he strides towards you closing the distance to crash into you, his body bearing down on you as you groan up into his lips as you first your hands into his soft dark curls at the nape of his neck. His weight crushes you, pressing you into the old leather sofa as you stifle a moan. You had never been so incensed, so addicted to a man until Joel Miller.

“You sure?” He purrs into your neck as he kisses your hot skin, the sharp but sweet nips trailing down your neck make your chest heave as you take the meat of your palm between your teeth to mute the lewd noises that were falling from your lips. His hands explore your body freely over your clothes, his one hand firmly grasps you thigh as he grinds his throbbing erection against your core the friction is blissful. You moan into the flesh of your hand as you arch up into him.

“Joel,” You breathe, “Take me to bed.” You re-assert, the risk of getting caught by Tommy was tantalising, hot even, but you kept thinking back to Sarah and how this would look to her.

“I know baby, I just wanted to rile you up a bit.” He chuckles as he leans back against the arm of the couch, studying your face with hungry eyes as he takes in your kiss-swollen lips and how they part as you pant up at him. He palms his erection through his jeans and you can’t help the soft whimper that comes as you watch him.

“Come on, bed.” He breathes as he hoists you up into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He kisses you softly this time, a tender, lingering kiss that set your whole body on fire. The sweet, intimate, yet heartfelt press of his lips against yours was like slipping into a hot bath. You press your forehead against his, your fingers running through the soft damp hair as you try to calm yourself a little. You steel yourself, ready for the rejection you couldn’t help but anticipate. You rub your nose softly against the strong angle of his, eyes closing as you speak.

“Joel, this is more than just sex to you right?” You ask, your voice is trembling and it comes out as more of a whisper than the firm confidence you had hoped for.

“Of course baby,” He shifts you in his strong arms so he’s holding you in one arm and his other hand cups your chin, angling you to look at him. You open your eyes to those sweet honey brown pools that swirled with affection, desire, and a hint of sadness, “You’re beautiful, funny, and as much as I haven’t stopped thinking about what it is like to be between your thighs from the moment I woke up, that’s not all I want.” He places a soft kiss on your forehead and you shiver, his soft lips press firmly against your clammy skin.

“Good, now let’s-“ You are cut off by the sound of the phone ringing in the kitchen. You freeze and look at your watch, it’s past ten and you share a look with Joel, he’s thinking the same thing as you.

Dad.

“I’ll get it, don’t stress gorgeous.” Joel sighs as he places you back on the floor, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead. He just couldn’t stop himself, he yearned for you in a way he didn’t fully understand, and it was etched on his face as he pulled away. Your arousal is at an all time high, you can feel the wetness of your panties and you squeeze your knees together, rubbing your thighs against one another to try and relief some of the building pressure.

“Miller Residence,” Joel said with a casual tone you know you wouldn’t be able to muster in your current state, “Oh hey Howard what can I-“ He pauses and you see his jaw clench as his free hand fidgets with a pen he snatches from the counter. You wince at the mention of your father’s name.

“Yeah she’s here, fast asleep on my couch, no, ok, sure, ok but Howard, don’t be too hard on her, we had a great time with her, Sarah was delighted to have another girl around and it was good for all of us.” There was silence after that and Joel stilled, his shoulders going tense.

“Alright Howard, I’ll bring her home now.” You could hear the strain in Joel’s voice and anxiety sloshed around in your belly as you hear the barely restrained fury in his voice as he carefully put the phone back on the receiver. He threw the pen down onto the counter with a clatter and swore under his breath. He looked up at you with an apologetic smile.

“He drunk?” You ask softly as Joel walks back over to you, your face cupped between his strong hands. You take his wrists in your hands, rubbing the sensitive skin with your thumbs as you feel the quickened heartbeat under his skin. You take a deep breath, breathing in the smoky, intense blend of vanilla, bourbon, tobacco and that underlying woody-fresh smell that was just Joel.

“Drunk and angry,” Joel says as he presses your foreheads together, “You going to be ok going back with the state he’s in?” He asks and you sigh, knowing that you can’t answer that question honestly.

“I’ll be fine Joel, I’ve got my phone and I’ll call you if things go sideways.” You promise, even if it was hollow, you knew you’d just take whatever verbal abuse that was waiting for you. You were a pro at it after all.

“Alright, but I’ll be checking in on you ok?” He insists and you smile as you brush your lips against his gently.

“Sounds good to me, oh and maybe wipe my lipstick off your face before we leave?” You are deadly serious but you chuckle at the look on Joel’s face as he notices the smudging on your lips. His eyes flicker with desire and he runs his thumb over your bottom lip.

“Good idea,” He breathes and you hear the lust dripping from his tongue, the soft press of his thumb turning you to putty in his hands, “But I’d love to see that rouge in some other places some time soon.” You mewl under his touch and he smirks, loving the way you were so easy to rile up.

“You’re going to be the death of me Joel Miller.” You chastise him as you try not to react to the heat between your legs.

“That’s my line.” He chuckles as he releases you to wipe down his face, you collect your things and wait for Joel by the front door. You step out onto the porch as Joel joins you, the modest breeze a blessing as you feel it rake over your burning skin. You descend the steps in silence but once you reach the path Joel hooks his arm through yours, a simple, innocent gesture but you bask in it, the closeness to him, the tenderness. The journey is short, maybe less than thirty steps before you’re at your front door. He releases you with a frown but makes no move to close the distance, not so close to your already tightly wound father. R

“Alright, want me to leave you here?” He asks and you nod, you have to stop yourself reaching out to squeeze his hand and you smile ruefully up at him.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow Joel.”

“Night gorgeous, text me yeah?” He says quietly and you feel a little bit of the tension in your chest ease as you prepare to face your father.

“I will, goodnight.” You promise, you linger for a second before forcing yourself to turn on your heel and march up the stairs. You look back at Joel and he gives you an encouraging nod. You close your eyes and enter the house. You lock the door behind you and slip off your sneakers. You pad through the house delicately, looking around every corner with a tension that makes your heart lurch in your chest.

The TV is blaring an infomercial in the living room and all the lights are off. Your father is asleep in his recliner, snoring away as you enter the room you breathe a sigh of relief. You turn the TV off, grab a throw from the sofa and drape it over him before making sure the rest of the house was locked up.

You ascend the stairs wearily, the anticipation around your father’s mood was exhausting but at least it wasn’t going to be one of those nights. You reach your bedroom door and flip open your phone. No messages from Joel, you appreciated that, he was giving you space. The choice was in your hands now. You flick on your bedroom light and lock your bedroom door behind you. A habit you’d picked up in college.

“Hey, dad’s k.o’d in his chair, I’m heading to bed, thank you again for tonight. x”

The response is immediate and you smile down at the message like a giddy child.

“DBF: Glad ur ok, can still smell your perfume, you looked beautiful tonight.”

You go to text back, but instead you leave him hanging for a bit, undressing slowly as you think of all the ways he touched you and you roll your shoulders as you step into your en-suite to remove your makeup and prep yourself for bed. You stand there in the mirror and you balk at the angry purple indents on your skin where your father’s fingertips had dug in. He’d never been like this, never physical, but something told you this wouldn’t be the last of it. You brush your teeth and throw on a loose shirt and pyjama shorts before crawling into bed with your phone. Worry tugging at the back of your mind.

“You looked so good tonight, I like this casual look, work shirts and boots are hot but casual suits you. x”

The response was immediate and you smile at his eagerness.

“DBF: Glad you liked it gorgeous, you’re going to see lots more of it. x”

You love how assertive he is, even through text you can hear his voice in your head, it was a promise that you knew he would keep, and one you were sure you would too.

“Counting down the hours, night handsome. Xx”

“DBF: Night gorgeous, see you tomorrow. x”

You sigh as you flop back against the pillows and despite the worry gnawing at your heart, you push it aside and let yourself enjoy the fullness in your heart and the way your mouth was pulled into a jaw aching smile.

Chapter Text

Impressing Joel Miller

Joel’s truck pulled up right on time, and you watched from the kitchen as he made his way up the path to your father’s house. You’re practically vibrating as you try and keep yourself seated at the breakfast bar. Your father said he was out on a job so there was nothing to worry about there, but something in the back of your mind didn’t want to appear too eager so you waited until the doorbell rang. You took your time, the tension building in your belly as you twist the doorknob.

You and your father had arranged for Joel to take you to look at cars, your dad had been the one to suggest it but what he didn’t know was that once that was out of the way Joel was going to take you to a garage he knew of that was looking for extra help. You were stoked, the idea of getting a job somewhere that wasn’t a waitressing gig or an office job was exactly what you needed after the weirdness with your dad since you got home.

“Afternoon Mr Miller.” You say as you smile sweetly up through your eyelashes to greet him. He looks you up and down as he takes in the denim overalls and black tank top. He nods in approval before meeting your eyes with a desperate hunger. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt rolled up at the sleeves, black cargo pants and work boots. You loved the working man aesthetic almost as much as casual Joel.

“Afternoon Darlin’.” He drawls and is across the threshold before you could say another word. His hands were on your waist as his lips found yours, pulling hungrily at your bottom lip as he kicks the front door closed behind him. Your hands push through his thick waves as you groan up into him. You grunt as he pushes you against the hallway wall and you whimper under him as his tongue presses into your willing, pliable mouth. He pins your hips to his as he grinds against you, he’s already half-way there and you melt beneath him.

“Hey there handsome, you like this look then?” You breathe as you come up for air, Joel is already pressing his lips against your neck, his one hand pressed against one of your breasts as he nips your skin.

“I’ve been thinking about you in it ever since you gave me the scolding of my life, wiggling that sweet little ass as you bent over my engine bay.” He growls against your skin as your chest flutters at the sensation. You smile to yourself, this is exactly the reaction you had wanted, before it all went to shit with your dad.

“Good, because I will judge you if you continue to mistreat her.” You retort blissfully as you ride on the power trip of Joel submitting to your criticism.

“Fuck, you’re so hot when you’re assertive.” He says as he pulls back, his soft, lust drenched eyes meeting yours as you both pant heavily. He presses his forehead against yours as you drop your hands to his shoulders.

“We need to head out, dad will be back soon and we’ve got a lot to do today.” You protest weakly, already considering bottling out on your plans so you can let Joel fuck you senseless. The pleasantly rough brush of his work-hardened fingers ghosting your jaw is almost enough for you to just throw all sense to the wind and give in to your base desires.

“True, we should go.” He mumbles as he rubs his strong nose against yours, his lips dangerously close to your own as you exhale heavily under his touch. He smells fresh, like sandalwood and pine mixed with a hint of freshly brewed coffee. You breathe him in, indulging yourself for just another second before gently pushing him back. He releases you immediately, but you can see the disappointment on his face.

“If we make good time, we might just have some spare before Sarah gets home.” You purr as you look up at his through your lashes and he rolls his eyes at you playfully.

“Alright, let’s get this done.” He says with a sigh, opening the door for you as you grab your keys. You lock up and head to the passenger side door of Joel’s Bronco, wrenching the door shut behind you.

“I could fix that for you y’know?” You say as Joel starts the engine, the throaty grumble shudders through the cab.

“I know, it’s not that important, besides, any free time we have, I’m not going to be able to leave you alone long enough to fix some silly door.” He teases as his hand falls to rest on your knee, rubbing gently as you smile up at him. You study the strong profile of his face once more and cannot believe how lucky you were, he was handsome, charming, funny, and wickedly clever when he wanted to be. He catches you staring and as he smiles his cheek dimples delightfully and you try not to sigh like a love-struck puppy.

“Enjoying the view there beautiful?” He asks, his hand leaves your knee and brushes up against your bare bicep, his eyes back on the road as he does so.

“Always,” You say breathily as you shiver under his rough hand, it was soothing against your arm in such a wonderful juxtaposition, “When did you get so hot Joel Miller?” You ask with a teasing tone as he chuckles at you. But you really do wonder what had changed these last four years, he had always been attractive, you knew that. But until that night in the club it had been objective, innocent, uncomplicated.

“Not sure, what about you? You go away to college, I blink, and a drop dead gorgeous woman comes home.” He replies sweetly, sending hot flutters through your chest. You can hear the same incredulous tone in his voice as your own, you were both reeling at the turn of the events of the last few weeks.

“I filled out a bit, got out from under my dad’s feet and learned how boring college kids are.” You shrug, realising that you were a very different person now. You notice the twitch of Joel’s body as you mention your dad, but it’s gone quickly as he resumes the gentle caress of your shoulder down to your elbow and back up.

“Meanwhile I just got old.” He laughs and you swat him gently on the thigh.

“You are not old Joel Miller, you’re aged, like fine wine.” You scoff.

“Or like a stinky cheese.” He continues to needle you and you shake your head.

He’s such a dad at times.

“It’s a good thing I like wine, and cheese, Miller.” You grumble as you pull into the parking lot. You get out reluctantly, you’re quite fond of the closeness of Joel’s cab. The car dealership is quiet as you look around at the array of vehicles through the chain link fence to your right.

“I’ll remember that, fancy tastes you have gorgeous.”

“Except for cars, remember Miller, you’re here to keep me on the straight and narrow, no flashy cars, just something utilitarian.” You wag your finger at him playfully. He opens the gate to the sales lot and holds it for you. You smile and shake your head at the gesture, the cheeks burning pleasantly at how polite and gentle he could be.

“Uh-huh, like I have any power over you to sway your decision making.” He raises and eyebrow and you shudder. You think about the very acute, very specific power he had over you and you feel the flutter of arousal between your legs.

“Hmmm that’s not how I see it, I think you have me wrapped around your- ” You don’t get the chance to finish your sentence as the stereotypically enthusiastic proprietor butts in.

“Hey there folks, how’re you doing today? Looking for something for you sir? Or for your very practical looking wife?” He oozes manufactured charm like an open, festering wound and you wince. He has slicked back hair, perfectly white teeth and wore a crimson suit with a purple shirt and white tie. He smelled of too much cheap cologne and even cheaper cigarettes.

“Oh no we’re not together!” You blurt, eyes wide as you feel your heart jump to your throat.

“I’m just here on her dad’s behest, no sports cars or classics.” Joel laughs, it’s an empty sound as you guess he’s equally flustered at you being called his wife.

“You like fast cars young lady?” The tone changes immediately as the salesman turns his attention to you. The condescending tone settling over you like a smog. You feel your pulse quicken as you stare down the walking embodiment of sleaze.

“I like some fast cars, but like the old man said, I’m here for practical.” You glower at the salesman as he seemingly ignores your hostility. You feel Joel’s large hand flat against your back, just between the shoulder blades as he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“Fucking idiot, try not to murder him gorgeous.” He murmurs and you grumble audibly, mostly in frustration but the shared scorn for the salesman eased your ire a little.

“We’ve got some lovely little cars that would be so suitable for you miss.”

You spend the next hour being shown around some seriously busted up pieces of junk. Every one was overpriced and completely neglected. You sigh as you hear the salesman prattle on about the small hatchback in front of you and you have to hold your tongue as he continued to call you sweetie.

“I’ve seen enough, there’s nothing for me here.” Your tone is ice cold and you couldn’t care less. You were done being talked down to, belittled because of the tits on your chest and cunt between your legs.

“You sure sweetie-“ The salesman balks as if you had struck him but you simply roll your eyes.

“I’m not your sweetie, and you need to realise that the condescending bullshit doesn’t work on women who know what they’re looking for.” You hiss and you hear Joel’s muffled laughter behind you, only spurring you on.

“And another thing-“ You start but a familiar voice sends ice down your spine.

“Hey there Francis, you find something good for my little girl yet?” Your dad calls from behind you and immediately you panic, Joel’s hand falls to his side in a flash and you break out in a cold sweat.

Did he see? What the fuck is he doing here?

“Ah Howard, I didn’t know this was your kid, we were just wrapping up, I don’t think there’s anything here for her though.” Francis grumbles as your father strides up to him.

“What about this one?” Your father asks as he points to the mundane hatchback behind Francis, it had loose suspension, a dodgy clutch and it stank. It was the shit-heap you had just been about to reject. It was an Old Ford and you grimaced at the pale silver paint job.

“Dad it’s not-“ You start but the look he flashes rocks you as you try not to physically take a step back.  

“We’ll take it, I’ll pay.” He says with a smile and you feel the world move around you in double time, your father is already in the office, signing the paperwork and laughing with Francis as you are rooted to the spot. You vaguely recognise the sound of your name being called through the haze and it’s only when Joel touches your arm that you remember where you are.

“Darlin’, you ok?” He asks through gritted teeth as you look up at him, doe eyed and vacant.

“No, not really.” You whisper as the tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“I don’t get it, why’s he here?” Joel asks incredulously as he grimaces at the look on your face. His hand twitches at his side and you know he wants to take your hand, to comfort you, it’s what you want too.

“I don’t know, how did he even know this would be where we’d go?” You ask and Joel’s expression goes dark and he swears under his breath.

“Bastard asked me for suggestions and this was one of the few I said I’d check out with you.” He growls, realising he’s been played.

“I feel sick.” You breathe as you try to wrap your head around the fucked up situation.

“Everything ok here Miller?” Your father asks and you look up to see him dangling keys in your face. You couldn’t understand this sudden menace, this possessiveness, he had never treated you this way before you left for college, he was always sweet and kind. But now, something was different, you couldn’t put your finger on why. Your father eyes you and and down and shakes his head disapprovingly as he sees you in the overalls and tank top.

“You ok darlin’?” Joel asks you, his gaze is soft, friendly, but there’s a tightness to his jaw, a tension in his shoulders that you clock immediately. He let’s you answer, not responding to your father as the anger radiates off him.

“I’m fine, I guess I should drive her home?” You say as brightly as your subdued mind would let you.

“Excellent news, that’s my girl.” Your dad says and you feel the lurch of your stomach as you try to control the disgust rolling around it.

“Alright glad I could help.” Joel says as he smiles brightly at your father.

“Well see you at home hon.” You dad says as he continues to talk with Francis. It’s surreal, you feel so disconnected as you slide into the drivers seat, the smell of wet dog and very old, very stale cigarettes barely touched by the pine fresh scent of the air freshener that hung from the rear-view mirror. Joel saunters over to your window and you quickly wind it down.

“I’ll follow you home, come straight to mine.” Joel breathes as he leans in, you want to cry but you won’t you’re not doing that, not here, where he can see.

“I’ll park up and be over as fast as I can.” You confirm as you shift the car into gear. The sickly sputter of the exhaust made you bow your head. You lean over and roll the passenger window down too, it was warm enough and the rancid smell of the car threatened to make you vomit.

The drive home is torture as you check the rear view every few seconds to check that Joel is behind you. You navigate the Monday lunch rush in Austin as you deal with the pathetic excuse of a car as the clutch slips frequently and the breaks take more than half a second to respond. Your nerves are tight as you pull into the driveway and ditch the car in your father’s drive. You practically sprint to Joel’s back door and listen for the rumble of his truck.

“You alright there darlin’?” Tommy’s soft Southern drawl catches you unawares and you jump.

“What the shitting fuck?” You exclaim as your hands fly to your mouth to stem any further explosion of profanity as you clock Tommy leaning against the railings at the base of the back porch. The soft glow of a blunt smoulders as you shake your head at him.

“Bad day?” He asks softly as he exhales a fragrant cloud from his supple lips.

“That’s an understatement,” You grumble as you walk down to meet him, “You’re lighting up early.” You remark as you check your watch, it was just gone two o’clock, Sarah would be home soon.

“Been a hell of a week,” Tommy shrugs, “You want some?”

“Appreciate it, but I’m helping Sarah later, no good to her if I’m high.” You say as kindly as possible, Hell, you would have pounced on the offer if it weren’t for Sarah, and by extension Joel.

“That’s fair doll-” He winces as he realises what he said, “Sorry old habits, so why’d you book it over here so fast? Things not ok at home?”

“Something like that, I need to move out, ASAP.” You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose as you hear the steady rumble of Joel’s truck parking up. The buzz off your phone in your overall pocket startles you and you see the caller ID: Dad.

“Nope.” You say to yourself as you sit down on the top step of the back porch and decline the call. Tommy leans forward and looks you up and down, hazy, high eyes raking over you. You roll your eyes and learn forward, your elbow braced against your knees as you indulge him a little.

“So, you still single then?” Tommy asks with a twitch of his lips as he watches you cross your arms over your chest.

“I guess so, what about you? Thought you had a girlfriend T?” You return the question, incredulous at how much of a horn dog the younger Miller still was.

Some things don’t change.

You think to yourself as you remember all of the broken hearts and pregnancy scares that he caused over the years. Even now, as he attempted to flirt with you, you can’t help but admire his boundless optimism. You hear the front door slam shut and you know Joel’s presence is imminent. You feel the tension creep up from the soles of your feet as the anticipation build. It’s like a slow moving toxin working its fire through your veins as you try to stay cool under Tommy’s watchful gaze.

“Nah, she didn’t stick around.” Tommy says with a shrug as he snubs the blunt out on the bottom step. He moves towards you with a playful smile until he freezes on the spot.

“Because you fuck everything with a pulse with your eyes, dumbass.” Joel calls out from behind you and it takes every morsel of willpower not to turn on the spot and run into the strong arms of the man you were already falling far too hard, far too fast, for.

 “Hey old man, what a coincidence you come home minutes after princesa here does.” Tommy needles at Joel and you feel the heat of embarrassment run across your cheeks.

“We went to pick up a car for her and she’s going to be helping Sarah out with her school work and debate prep.” Joel said without missing a beat, he was much better at this than you were.

“Hey Joel, sorry I just bumped into Tommy and we got to talking.” You grumble as you stretch pointedly, rolling your shoulders and craning your neck back as you let out a soft sigh.

“I can see that, you wanna come in for a drink?” Joel’s tone has a blunted edge to it, like he’s both enjoying the view, but pissed Tommy was home when he clearly hadn’t expected him to be.

“Of course, lead the way Miller.” You chime as you bounce onto your feet and slip past Joel as he holds e door open for you.

“You’re cruel gorgeous,” He whispers as you brush past him, “Teasing him like that, so, so cruel.”

“You only say that because you’re jealous Miller.” You retort as you slip into the kitchen.

“Nothing to be jealous of, I’m the one with you wrapped around my, what was it you were going to say earlier? My finger?” He teases as the door shuts behind him, leaving Tommy out on the porch. You walk to the fridge to grab a soda and you shiver at the cool breeze and the lust in Joel’s voice.

“Let me think,” you say breathlessly as you feel him crowd you from behind, his one arm is above you, leaning against the edge of the open fridge, the other on the counter to your left. You swallow loudly as the arousal pools in your belly, driving heat to your core, “What was it?” You muse playfully as you feel his breath on your neck, his strong nose ghosting a slow, punishing path from your shoulder up to your earlobe.

“Come on baby, don’t be such a tease, tell me.” He breathes in your ear and you groan at the sensation, your eyes glazing over as you try to regain some semblance of control.

“Your thick, throbbing, cock Joel Miller.” You breathe and he growls against the tender skin just behind your ear. If Tommy wasn’t just outside you would have melted back into him but you hold firm, just about.

“That dirty little mouth again, fuck me you’re so fucking hot.” He grumbles before grabbing a soda and stepping back to lean against the breakfast island in the Center of the kitchen-diner.

“Only for you, Joel.” You say with a heavy sigh as you mirror him, leaning over the other side of the island as you try and catch your breath. His pupils are dilated as he runs his tongue gently over his lips. You glower at him as you feel the arousal build at the apex of your thighs.

“Glad to hear it darlin’, so you got any plans for the weekend?” He asks as he cracks open his can and takes a long, thirsty gulp. You follow his lead, suds spraying over your fingertips as you do so.

“Nothing yet, why’s that?” You ask as you raise an eyebrow at him. The back door opens and Tommy strolls in, raising an eyebrow at you as he jabs his brother in the ribs as he passes. You snort, almost expelling the mouthful of soda through your nose as you watch the interaction play out.

“Fuck was that for?” Joel hisses as he spins on the spot to swat his brother round the back of the head.

“Calling me a whore.” Tommy says, the indignation in his tone only modestly serious as he rubs the back of his head.

“I didn’t call you a whore, that’s pejorative.” Joel argues and you can’t help the wide smile spreading across your lips.

“The fuck does that mean?” Tommy asks, a beer already in his hand as he settles on the end of the island, looking between you both as he feels he’s not in on the joke.

“It means whore has a negative association, whereas the preferred term is sex worker these days.” You chime in with a grin, noticing the flicker of delight behind Joel’s eyes.

“Exactly, I just said you were horny for everything, all the time, nothing strictly wrong with that.” Joel says with a wicked grin as Tommy pouts at you both.

“You two are so weird, I’ll be in my bunk.” He growls as he turns sloppily on his heel, the weed cleverly hitting him harder now it had time to settle in.

“Sweet dreams hermoso!” You call after him and he flips you the bird without turning around. You chuckle to yourself and turn your gaze back to Joel on the other side of the counter but he’s not there.

“Joel?” You ask as you begin to turn but then you feel him. Really feel him. His erection is pressed hard against your ass as his one hand cups your chin from behind, the other snaking across your waist as he holds you to him. He tilts your head to the side and places a wet, lingering open mouthed kiss on your neck as he hums softly. The sensation is electric as you arch back into him. The grind of his cock making you gasp softly.

“Shh baby, can’t have Tommy hearing that beautiful sound, all for me remember?” He growls between sloppy, tender kisses along your shoulder.

“Joel isn’t Sarah home soon?” You protest weakly as you raise your arms up to thread through the curls at the nape of his neck. His cheek presses against your bicep and he nuzzles into the bare, sensitive flesh as you moan softly.

“We’ve got half an hour baby, we should make use of it, come on.” He breathes you in as he places one last lingering kiss to your temple.

“What about Tommy?” You whisper, desperate for his touch but conscious of the risk. As if on cue the speakers of his hi-fi blare out thrash metal and you smirk.

“He always listens to music, loud, when he’s high, trust me we’ve got the time, and the buffer.” He says softly as he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you along after him. You’re up the stairs and in his bedroom in a matter of seconds and as soon as the door clicks shut behind him you find each other without a sound.

His hands grasp at your waist as he hoists you up, you wrap your legs around his waist without prompt as your lips crash together with a desperate, lewd hunger. Your hands loop around his neck as he holds you to him. His mouth parts and before he could snake his tongue out you were pressing into his mouth with your own. The guttural noise that bubbles forth from his throat only spurs you on as you assault the thick, wet muscle of his tongue with your own. Soon he battles back and you feel the hot press of him against your lips and you mewl as he forces into your mouth.

Your back hits the mattress with a soft bounce as Joel presses you down into the sheets, his hands pull your tank top over your head, breaking the kiss as you squirm beneath him. You’re left in your overalls, tied at the waist and your navy blue t-shirt bra.

“Fuck.” Is all Joel can muster as he studies you from between your legs, your knees press against his sides and you squeeze gently, loving the way he tenses under you.

“Like what you see? Like me in my work clothes?” You purr, watching as his chest heaves over you. You start to pull at his shirt buttons and he lets you as he simply watches.

“Like I said, ever since you wiggled that beautiful ass at me as you bent over my engine bay, it’s all I can think about.” He responds with a dark, heady lilt to his voice. You push the fabric over his shoulders to reveal the sun kissed skin, rippling with muscle yet soft and plush in places, the body of a working man.

“Good, I wore them for you.” You whisper and his eyes go wide with rapturous desire.

“Shame I have to take them off, but I want to see you, all of you.” He growls as he slowly unties the knotted sleeves of your overalls at the waist, slowly shimmying down the rest of the material to your ankles as he realises you still had your boots on. He makes quick work of them, pulling your overalls, socks and boots off in swift practiced motions before you’re exposed for him in just your navy panties.

“I want to see all of you too, c’mere.” You whisper and he obeys as your hands fall to his belt buckle, you practically rip it off and his hands come up to push the jeans and cotton boxers down as he kicks off his work boots. His erection springs free and you shudder at the glistening pre-cum on his tip. He bends down and you arch up to unclasp your bra before shrugging it off. Joel throws it to the side and his strong hands skirt down your sternum, glancing on the soft flesh of your belly before hooking under the waistband of your panties.

“Joel please.” You plead as you writhe under his touch.

“So assertive one moment, so needy the next, damn baby what about me makes you so damn hot?” He asks rhetorically but you can’t help but answer.

“Your voice, your laugh, the way you look at me, the way you moan under my touch, there’s too much Joel, too fucking much of you that I l-“ You stop yourself before you say something you regret and Joel picks up on it straight away and slides your panties down to your ankles and they join your bra somewhere in the void of the bedroom.

“Don’t worry darlin’, I wasn’t expecting an answer,” He murmurs against your knee as he leaves a trail of sloppy wet kisses up your thigh, “All I want is you to feel good.” He breathes against your aching cunt and you exhale deeply as his tongue presses flat against your clit.

“Fuck Joel.” You whisper as you bring a hand to your mouth to bite down on. Your other hand grips hard at the hair at the crown of his head. You tug slightly which sends a vibrating growl through your cunt as Joel sucks on your clit. He brings up a finger to your entrance and you feel the chuckle more than hear it as he presses into your slick opening.

“So wet for me, fucking beautiful.” He breathes as he slides a thick, firm finger all the way in to the knuckle. You arch up against his hand as he resumes sucking on your clit with the slow, hungry rhythm of a man savouring every moment. His finger begins to piston into you as he laps at your swollen clit with fervour. The second finger comes as a pleasant stretch and you buck up into him as he picks up the pace. The press on that sweet spot and the unrelenting, arrhythmic sucking and slow languid strokes of his tongue on your slit has you building up to a peak under him.

“Come on baby, come for me.” He breathes as his pace quickens, his fingers fucking into your core with such percussive force you think he could make you cum just with his fingers. But the hot, wet lapping at your clit drives you over the edge before you can find out. Pleasure erupts from your core like a sonic boom, the percussive force blinding you before the strangled moan is muffled by the palm of your hand. You twitch and tremble around Joel’s fingers for a few seconds as you ride the high of your orgasm.

“Fuck Joel that was amazing.” You mewl as you try to come to your senses as the little overstimulated aftershocks rock through you.

“Sounded it, felt it,” Joel purrs as he pulls his fingers out of you slowly, the sensation is divine as you feel your walls clamp around the void left behind, “You taste so good.” He mumbles as he brings his fingers to his mouth but you snap upright, grabbing his wrist forcefully before pulling it to your lips.

“I know.” You breathe as you lock your eyes on his as you take both his fingers into your mouth, running your tongue between each digit as you savour your own taste. Joel can only growl as he watches you, feels you sucking off every last drop of your slick from his fingers. The silky  head of his cock already at your entrance as he quivers above you.

“You are too fucking hot, you are so gorgeous baby.” He whispers, his voice cloudy with desire as he strokes his head through your folds, gathering your slick and his spit on it as he presses against your clit. You flinch in overstimulation as you force yourself to keep his gaze.

“Joel, fuck me, please.” You whimper and the dark shroud of arousal clouds Joel’s eyes as he presses into you without pause, he’s buried to the hilt in an instant and you bring your hand back up to your mouth as you bite down hard. Joel’s left thumb is on your clit, massaging gently as you tremble through the overstimulation and his right hand grasps your breast, rolling the razor sharp peaks of your tits between his thumb and forefinger.

“Oh baby you drive me absolutely wild, you make me feel so fucking good.” He groans softly as he fucks down into you deep and hard, slamming against that little bundle of nerves deep inside of you as he presses delightfully at your clit in swift, assertive circles.

“Same Joel, I fucking love it when you fuck me this hard, fucking love it.” You breathe without thinking as Joel’s rhythm becomes ragged, faster, desperate. His hand is wild on your clit as you feel your release explode around his hard cock. You feel yourself clamping down hard as his head falls to your sternum as the last, ragged thrusts finish him off. You feel him stammer inside you as he comes, filling you up as you melt down into the mattress below.

There’s a pleasant, breathy silence between you as the thrash metal continues to blare from Tommy’s room. You had forgotten about every other sense, every other feeling as you collided with Joel but you pull your hand from your mouth and see the angry crescent forming under the skin on the back of your hand. You smile awkwardly and Joel catches your gaze before pulling your hand up to his mouth and kissing the brutalised skin gently.

“We won’t always have to be so quiet baby, don’t want you hurting yourself.” He whispers in to your hand and you take a deep, satisfied breath. He pulls out altogether too soon, but you know why, you were on a schedule.

“I’ll hold you to that Miller.” You wheeze as you cup your pussy in one hand, you go to move off the bed but a warm washcloth is presented to you, Joel’s face is painted with amusement and a deep affection that you weren’t ready to face. You grab the washcloth and replace your hand with it. You still waddle awkwardly to the toilet but at least the worst of it wasn’t stuck to your fingers.

“Good, I meant it the other day, this isn’t just some weird ass mid-life bullshit, I’m in this for as long as you want me darlin’, but I hope that’s a long time.” He says with a bashful look on his face as he learns against the doorframe to the en suite.

“And I mean it too Joel, I still don’t know what this is, but I want it, and I don’t think I’ll stop wanting it any time soon.” You say as you shudder, the overstimulation causing you to wince as you cleaned yourself up.

“Good, now we need to shower or we’re going to stink of sex when Sarah gets home, and I for one do not want that,” He laughs but you can tell he’s serious and you are too, not wanting to taint Sarah’s perception of her dad, or of you with this arrangement. “Oh and keep the weekend free, I have something in mind.” He finishes as he turns of the faucet of the shower.

***

“So, how’s advanced history going Sarah?” You ask as you laze on the sofa, Sarah’s snuggled into your side as Joel occupies the lounge chair to your right. You’re draped against the arm of the chair as you half-watch the Buffy re-run, but your mind keeps wandering back to Joel, the way he rubbed your shoulders in the shower, shampooed your hair and massaged the conditioner into your scalp. Everything he did was an act of adoration and you were reeling more from that than the sex, weirdly enough.

“I love it, it’s really good but I wish we had more variety.” She says as Joel squeezes your hand over the back of the sofa. You squeeze back but direct your attention back to Sarah.

“Why, what kinds of things do you study?” You ask, your free hand rubbing Sarah’s shoulder absently.

“We do lots of foreign policy, or European history, but almost nothing about socio-economic stuff in the US. Like my teacher didn’t even know the significance of Little Rock. Can you believe that?” Sarah huffs and you chuckle in agreement.

“Sadly, I know all too well the failings of our education system there, but I’m always happy to talk to you about these things, school work or not, any time you need me, I’m here.” You say and the death grip on your hand from Joel is jarring but as you look over it’s clear. He’s fawning over you like the love-sick puppy you always try not to be. You smile at him and squeeze Sarah tight against you.

“I’d like that.” Sarah says with a yawn and you give Joel a knowing look.

“Alright young lady, I think it’s time your dad took you to bed.” You say softly before dropping Joel’s hand and wrapping your arms around Sarah in a soft bear hug.

“Fine, but only because you said so.” Sarah scoffs and you nuzzle your nose into her tight curls.

“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow ok?” You say as you push her up into Joel’s arms as he picks her up. She squeals excitedly and you watch as they head up the stairs. You don’t even know what time it is but you pull your phone our of your pocket and die a little inside as you see the amount of missed calls and messages from your father. The most recent has you reeling.

Dad: Don’t come home, I don’t want you here.

You sit there as you re-read the text over and over, and eventually you just laugh, it’s an unhinged delirious cackle as you throw your phone across the room, it shatters against the bookshelf and you breath a heady sigh of relief before refocusing on the Buffy episode. You know you would have to address your father, but not tonight.

Tonight he could get fucked.

Chapter Text

The Trip

You roll over groggily as the sunlight burns through your closed eyelids. You breathe out sharply as you hear your father stomping around the house below you. Cupboards and doors slamming as he raged through the house like a hurricane. He and Tommy were off on a fishing trip tomorrow and you roll your eyes. You had offered to help him prep all week but he wouldn’t talk to you. He wouldn’t even look at you. He had been furious when you came home on Tuesday after staying the night on the Miller’s couch.

“I told you not to come home.”

Was all he had said to you before turning on the Arctic Shoulder and blunt silent treatment. It was Thursday and he still wouldn’t drop it. You roll over to the sad, broken little flip phone that had just about survived your abuse. It was held together with electrical tape and the screen had a diagonal crack arcing through it. But you didn’t care, all you cared about was that you could still see the awaiting message through the lightning shaped crack.

DBF: Just dropping Sarah off @ school 4 the DC trip. Nervous AF. U ok?

You smile as anticipation coils in your belly, Joel hadn’t told you what the weekend plans were but you didn’t care, a whole three days without anyone but Joel was enough to get you giggling like a teenager.

You: Give her my love, and drop her my no. Just in case she needs someone who isn’t her dad, or her uncle while she’s away. :-) x

DBF: Ok, u didn’t answer, everything ok?

You sigh, you’ve been dodging the question all week, you’d not seen Joel since you slipped out on Tuesday morning, a stolen kiss that tasted of coffee and longing. He had stayed with you on the couch until the early hours, watching re-runs on TV and just holding one another. It was sickeningly sweet, but it was exactly what you both needed. He had noticed your broken phone and patched it up for you, but he didn’t ask what happened, and you were grateful for that. You pad into your en-suite as you text back.

You: Fine, Dad’s just being difficult, as usual, hopping in the shower. X

You pop the phone down on the counter and run your hand down your face, the tension in your shoulders and back a stark reminder that you were sleeping like shit. But the dark circles and fog over your brain already told you that.

You wait for the shower to warm up as you study your skin, your father’s death grip had faded quickly, you suspect Joel had seen it, yet you hoped to whatever god would listen that he hadn’t. Then you spot the ever so faint hickey above your right breast and a delightful warmth fills you as you remember Joel’s hungry lips on your skin. You’d been wearing short sleeved t-shirts to hide it from your father but whenever you caught sight of it you couldn’t help but smile.

You shower quickly, relishing the hot water as you scrubbed away the sweat that coated your skin. The humid heat of Texas was high on the long, varied list of things you hated about being home, Cali had been hot, but it was a fresh and dry heat for the most part.

You force yourself out of the shower just as you hear an almighty crash from downstairs. You wrap yourself in a towel in haste before bolting down the stairs to find your dad trapped under a mountain of all the things he had stuffed into the hall closet when he didn’t know where else to put them. Tennis rackets, board games and a single unmatched ski to mention a few were amongst the wreckage, and an errant magic 8 ball rolled through the hall. You pin it down with your bare foot to stop its course before hurrying over to help your father.

“Don’t bother I’m fine.” He snarls as you offer him your hand.

“Pop come on this is ridiculous let me help you.” You insist and he just grumbles at you, you secure your towel and pull him out from under the debris. His weight strains your back as you heave. You feel something twinge but ignore it as he scrambles out from under the hobby-slide.

“Thanks sweetheart-“ He begins and your heart lifts as you think the bridge between you had stopped burning, but then his eyes narrow and you know he’s seen the hickey, “What are you doing to me? Walking around in silly little outfits and now this? Why do you keep disrespecting me like this?”

“Disrespect you? How? By acting like any woman my age?” You bristle as you pull your hand away from him your fuse had been too short for too long and in this moment it was non-existent. Your emotions are white-hot and there is no inclination in your mind to back down. The bridge between you was now ash, coursing down a white-water rapid of no-return.

“Your mother was such a good woman, now look at you, disgracing her memory.” He spits at you as he stands on his own.

“Mom would have fucking loved to see the woman I am, I just don’t get why you can’t be at least supportive.” You bark back as you shake your head at the stranger before you. He was your dad, sure, but what the hell was all of this? How had you never seen this side of him before. Then it hit you.

Mom had been protecting me.

“Don’t you dare put words in her mouth, she was a good woman.” Your dad lashes out, his hand striking the wall with enough force to bust a hole in the drywall. The jarring flash of the few, fleeting memories of your mother ushering you out of the room when things got too intense, of the bruises you saw when you changed at the pool, the crying from the bathroom down the hall. It was like a physical blow as you pieced it all together.

“I’m gone dad, I’ll be out of the house by noon.” You hiss as you stride upstairs as your whole body trembles. You were inconsolably angry, at your dad, at your mom for dying so young, at yourself for never letting yourself acknowledge what was going on. You sobbed from deep in your chest as you lurched around the room trying to gather all your things. You throw on the first thing you can find, a yellow sundress and sandals.

You were just a kid, a little fucking kid.

You berate yourself as you stuff everything you can get your hands on into your already half-packed suitcase. You leave anything non-essential and are down the stairs and in the shit heap of a hatchback in minutes, your suitcase on the backseat.

You flip open your pathetic broken phone and dial Joel’s number, you turn on speaker phone and reverse out of the drive as you throw the phone on the dash. As you reach the curb you see your dad running down the path, a sad look on his face but you’re not falling for it. You reverse out onto the street, your breathing is ragged and shallow as you blink through the tears.

“Hey there darlin’ everything ok?” You can hear the concern in Joel’s voice through the distorted crackle of the speaker.

“No, I’ve just left my dad’s I’m not going back.” You choke out as you turn down the street onto the main road into Austin, the traffic is light and you cruise along with your knuckles burning as you grip the steering wheel far too hard.

“What did he do?” Joel’s tone is ice cold and despite everything you find yourself smiling.

“He didn’t lay a hand on me Joel, he just tried to use my mom against me, but it was the final straw Joel, I can’t live there anymore.” You hear a shaky breath on the other end of the line.

“You want to crash on the sofa-bed in my office?” He asks and the thought is jarring, you emphatically want to say yes, you want to shelter within Joel’s protective presence but it was too close to home.

“I’d love that I really would,” You say as you pause, an asshole in a truck cuts you up and you blare your pathetically meek horn at them, “Prick.” You grumble, forgetting your train of thought.

“You driving?” Joel asks, his tone full of dad-concern as you can hear the worry building in his voice.

“Yeah on my way into Austin, going to go to the garage and demand a job.” You laugh despite yourself, the tears had stopped flowing the moment you had heard Joel’s soft voice, he was like a warm blanket draped over your shoulders, even if he wasn’t there physically.

“That’s my girl- Uh,” Joel falters and the heat rushes to the back of your neck as you register his words, “That’s not what I meant I mean-“

“Joel,” You cut him off and he stops talking but you can already imagine his one hand rubbing the back of his neck, his face tight in a grimace as he tried to un-ring that bell, “I am your girl, if you’ll have me.” You say softly as you pull off into the outskirts of Austin, the warehouses and other industrial units a welcome sight.

“Damn straight, but you know I never want to put anything on you-“

“Joel,” You practically bark down the phone, “Stop being a dork and meet me for lunch at the IHOP on Frontage at one.”

“Yes ma’am, can’t wait.” You hear the relief in Joel’s voice as you pull up in front of the garage. The sound of power tools, the smell of engine oil, the raucous laughter of men at work had you smiling. You felt like you were home.

“Alright Joel I’m here, gotta go, I-“ You catch yourself before you finish the sentence, those three words already far too eagerly dancing on the tip of your tongue, “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“See you later.” Joel says softly before you end the call. You pinch the bridge of your nose as you scream internally, you had almost told him you loved him.

I’m just emotional, that’s all, it was just a fuck up.

You tell yourself but the clenching ache around your heart told you different. You were in love with Joel Miller, and it scared the living shit out of you. The knock on your window startles you and you snap round to look up into a portly middle-aged man with a kind face. You roll down the window and smile up at him.

“You got car trouble there miss?” He asks, his thick Jersey accent throwing you off a little.

“I mean, other than she’s a piece of shit? No, I’m actually here to apply for the mechanic job you’ve got offered in the paper.” You smile brightly as his bushy eyebrows raise in surprise.

“You got experience?” He asks as he looks you up and down, clearly unconvinced at your attire.

“Three years in a garage in Cali, but I’m happy to show you what I can do, if you let me fix up this hunk of junk? Y’know so I can only fuck up something that belongs to me.” The man smiles at this, his head bobbing up and down slowly.

“Alright, you got your own work clothes? I don’t think I’ve got any that’ll fit you.” He rubs his chin thoughtfully but you’re prepared.

“Sure, got a bathroom I can change in?” You ask as you open the door, the man steps back to let you out. You pull out your work boots and some socks, denim overalls and a black tank top with the Vans logo on the chest.  With the bundle in your arms you follow on through to the garage.

“Gus, Arnie, get the hatchback into the garage, going to need to get a look underneath.” Your guide calls out and two men only a little older than you pop out from behind the hood of a Jeep Wrangler. One was built like a runner, slim, corded muscles popping out against his tiny frame, his hair was a shocking bright auburn. The other was his polar opposite, built like a bull with dark hair and eyes. They both eyed you with suspicion but said nothing.

“Yes boss!” They shout in unison and you smile.

Tight ship, good.

“I’m Harold by the way, Harold Jones,” Harold introduces himself and you give your name in turn, “Alright see you out on the floor Chica.” You pause for a moment in surprise as Harold saunters back into the garage hall and you look down to see the word Chica emblazoned on the denim clutched in your hands. You smile, it had been your nickname at Diego’s and you were glad it had already made landfall here.

You quickly get changed you tie your still damp hair back and take a quick look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were puffy and you had hives on your cheeks but you didn’t care. You were here to work. You stride into the garage and Harold beckons you over to where your car was already on the lift.

“Ah sweet, was going to ask if you wouldn’t mind me getting her up.”

“She’s a piece of shit.” The dark haired man scoffed and you looked to see his name emblazoned on his overalls, he was Gus.

“Don’t be too nice, she’s worse than that.” You grumble and Arnie’s lips twitch up in amusement.

“You worked on cars long love?” Arnie asks, his accent reminded you of Sean Bean in Sharpe, he must be from England. You roll your shoulders and stretch your back out before grabbing an inspection light from the rolling tool box to your right.

“Since I was a kid, mostly classics though, Boss 70 and a Shelby 67 primarily.” You say as you inspect the engine bay, already grimacing at the rust and damage under the monocoque construction of the car. But she was stable, just.

“God this really is a piece of shit, you guys want to take her out back and strip her for parts?” You sigh, only half-joking. But you continue on and make a mental note of the jobs needed to be done.

“Alright lower her down, I’ve got a lot to work on and the engine bay to do, you guys work to music here?” You ask as the quiet of the garage was a little hollow for your taste.

“Yeah we only turn it off when customers roll up, you got a preference Chica?” It was Gus’ turn to call you that and you smile, it had been months since you had been called that affectionately so it was comforting.

“Nah, surprise me.” You shrug as you watch the lift ease your car to the ground once more. You jump into the driver seat and pop the hood before rolling up your sleeves. Harold rolls one of the red tool chests over to you and let’s you get on. The expressive spoken word of N.W.A plays over a large sound system in the corner of the garage and you quickly realise why they turn off the music for customers. But you love it.

 Gus and Arnie glance over from time to time, you hear their laughter as you swear at the car. You smile at that, if they could laugh at you they could laugh with you. As lunch time rolls around you wipe the sweat from your brow. You had changed the oil, cleaned the catalytic converter out and replaced the spark plugs, all four of which were close to toast.

“We’re heading on lunch Chica, you want anything?” Gus asks, he had been watching you with a stern gaze all afternoon but you could tell it was observational rather than judgemental.

“Nah I’m meeting my-,” You pause, the word boyfriend came too easily to your tongue, but you quickly redirected, “My friend at IHOP.” You said with a tilt of your head in their direction. You try not to let them hear the squeak in your voice but Ice Cube’s hard hitting lyrics muffled it enough you could dip your head in relief.

“No worries, when we get back we’ll get a contract sorted out for you.” Harold said with a nod and heat bloomed in your chest. You had forgotten all about the job offer as you worked on the car, your single-track mind focused on making the car more useable. You finished up on the spark plugs, securing them once more before shutting the hood. You jump back into the car and immediately she starts up better.

“Elbow grease and a stubborn head, that’s all you needed.” You purr to the car and flip open your phone. It was dead. You realise you had forgotten to charge it last night and cursed. You check your watch and you’re only a few minutes late. You put the car into gear and make the short journey to IHOP.

As you roll into the parking lot your heart flutters in your chest as you recognise Joel’s truck in a bay near the entrance. You park a little further away before adjusting your hair in the rear view mirror. You’re covered in grease and dirt but you have a feeling Joel will find that endearing. You fix your hair quickly before heading in.

You scan the restaurant, looking for Joel, and you see each other at the same time, his eyes light up and your stomach lurches as you hurry over to the table at the far side of the restaurant. You shake your head at how beautiful he looks, how every time you see him it’s like breathing in the cool fresh air that came after days of rain. He’s in tight jeans as always, and a plain white t-shirt, his hair is freshly washed and fluffy.

“Afternoon Miller,” You say as you take your seat across from him, “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Afternoon, you look like you’ve had a productive morning.” The smile doesn’t leave his face as he studies you.

“I did, I got the job at the garage.” You say triumphantly as Joel extends his hand across the table to you. You take it and feel the heat course through you as he squeezes your hand gently.

“I knew you would, well done darlin’. Well done.” He says as he rubs the pad of his thumb over your knuckles.

“So, how’d your day been? Cry much when you dropped Sarah off?” You tease as you study his face, his scruffy beard was trimmed, his skin glowed softly in the fluorescent lights of above, you envied how even in this harsh lighting he looked stunning.

“Nah it’s not her first trip out of state, she couldn’t stop asking after you though, I gave her your number like you asked.” He smirks as you feel your eyes light up. Sarah was such an important part of his life, so it was key she liked you, and she clearly does.

“Thanks, my phone’s dead but I’ll get it on charge later.” You say realising you hadn’t actually decided where you were going to go.

“Offer’s still there for you to sleep on the sofa-bed in my office darlin’.” Joel says with a knowing look as the waitress came over. You ordered a Breakfast Sampler and Joel got an omelette. The waitress came back with your coffees promptly and you were left alone with Joel again. Your hands were glued to one another, trading soft caresses across each other’s skin. It was painfully tame but it calmed you after the rollercoaster of a day you had.

“I’d be lying if I said I’m tempted, but I don’t know if that’ll be too weird, with my dad being next door and all.” You admit, the notion of going anywhere near your father’s house was stifling.

“That’s fair, but the offer’s always open.” Joel takes your hand in both of his and leans forward, pressing his lips to your knuckles tenderly. You shudder at the contact and close your eyes as Joel’s tongue dips between the knuckles of your index and middle fingers. Your eyes snap open as arousal flares in your belly. There’s a wicked grin painted on Joel’s full lips and you exhale slowly, your tongue darts over your bottom lip as you savour the hot wet drag of his thick tongue on your skin

“Here you go guys, cheese omelette for the gentleman and breakfast sampler for you miss, can I get you folks anything else?” The waitress’ presence snaps you both out of your trance and you chuckle nervously. Your hands drop to your lap as you try not to squirm.

“Just some more coffee please, and thank you.” You say as the waitress heads off to seat another table.

“Alright well, you still up for going away this weekend?” Joel asks as he takes a large swig of coffee, draining his cup.

“Hell yes, it’s exactly what I need.” You say with a little too much enthusiasm but that only makes Joel smile harder.

“Good, now eat up, I’ve got some prep to do.”

***

You pull into Joel’s driveway, your stomach doing flips as you try not to think about your father. His truck was still in his drive, he and Tommy must have taken Tommy’s car. You park next to Joel’s truck and head on in, the door’s unlocked and you hear Duran Duran playing from the living room. You undo your work boots and put them on the shoe rack next to the door.

“Joel? You in there?” You call out but get no answer, your brow furrows so you let yourself in, you pad slowly through the hallway and you watch as Joel dances his goddamn heart out with his back to you. You watch for a moment as he pumps the air with his fist as he kicks his left foot forwards, before coming back to the middle, he spins around and kicks out again as he notices you in the doorway.

“Fuck!” Joel stumbles and you rush to him to help him keep his balance. He pitches forward into your arms and you laugh as his broad chest crashes into you. Your arms instinctively snake up his back, your head tilting up to meet his flustered gaze.

“Didn’t take you for a dancer Mr Miller,” You say softly as Joel leans in.

“Sarah had to learn the Charleston for a school talent thing, she gave it up after but I kind of enjoyed it.” He breathes as his hands settle on your hips.

“I’d love for you to teach me the moves sometime.” You murmur as Joel’s lips hover a hair’s breadth from yours.

“I can show you plenty of moves darlin’,” He grumbles as his lips brush yours teasingly, “But first, get your butt in the shower, you stink of engine oil and other men.” He’s teasing you but even the mock possessiveness warms your core.

“I like jealous Joel Miller, he’s kind of hot,” You whisper as you pull back, “But orders are orders, time to hit the showers.” You swerve his kiss and spin out of his embrace. The amused hum that escapes Joel’s lips makes you weak at the knees but you don’t look back, instead you pick up speed and race up the stairs to Joel’s en-suite. You reach the top of the stairs when you’re suddenly lifted up by strong hands on your waist.

You yelp in surprise, Joel could clearly be quiet when he wanted to be, you hadn’t even heard him follow you. He pulls you back against him, one hand on your jaw, his thumb lazily running along the sensitive flesh.

“You like it when I’m possessive huh?” His voice is thick with desire as his lips brush your ear and you moan as his tongue presses softly against your lobe, his hot breath ghosts against your skin and you press against his hands.

“Joel I’m all dirty.” You whimper as you try to wrestle out of his grip. You’re only half trying, the aggressive grip on your waist was hot, primitive. His fingers were pressing hard into the denim and you trembled as he dug in harder the more you wrestled against him.

“I know baby, but I like it when you’re bratty.” He growls as he grinds his hardening dick against your ass.

“Joel come on I really am nasty right now, and don’t we have somewhere to be?” You protest as you melt back into him.

“You’re right, but you’re going to have to make up for all this teasing later.” Joel grumbles and you’re suddenly released from his grip. You stumble forward and turn to see Joel’s dilated pupils, flared nostrils, and slack jaw.

“I count on it Joel,” You say breathlessly as you grab his hand, “Come on let’s get cleaned up.” You lead him to the bathroom, all the while looking back to see the look on his face as he watched you saunter ahead of him.

The door closes with a click behind you and you strip off slowly, pushing your denim overalls down to your ankles as you stand there in just your white cotton panties and tank top. You toe off your socks and step out of your overalls.

“So pretty, look at those pert nipples.” Joel growls as he pulls his t-shirt over his head, the ripple of his muscles under the soft flesh of his belly makes you hiss through clenched teeth. Joel leans past you as he turns on the faucet, the hot flesh of his chest is too tempting to deny and you latch onto one of his tanned peaks. Your teeth graze the hardened nub and his whole body trembles with the moan he lets loose from his lips.

“Right back at you Joel, you like it when I do this?” You breathe as you suck softly on the pebbled flesh once more.

“Fuck yeah I do.” He growls as he pulls away, your mouth making a soft “pop” as you release him.

“Good to know.” You mutter but you’re already being ushered into the shower.

“Come on we can continue this later, we do need to get moving.” He says with desperation straining at the edge of his voice, but you relent even if the hot, wet press of your arousal was aching against the tight fabric of your panties.

“Fine.” You scowl playfully before obeying.

Soon you’re in Joel’s cab, practically vibrating as you set off to wherever it was Joel was taking you.

“So, we going to a hotel?” You ask as you try to read Joel’s stony face.

“Nope.”

“Camping?”

“Did you see camping equipment?” He counters and you huff.

“No, then where?” You plead but all Joel does is smirk.

“You’re a mean man Joel Miller.” You pout, a little for effect but also because you were just desperate to know what was going on.

“And you’re a bratty tease darlin’.” He shoots you a look that sends the blood straight to your pussy.

“Joel.” You whine, purposefully affecting your voice to pitch up at the end.

“See, that’s exactly what I mean,” He laughs as he flicks on his turn signal and turns down a dirt track road, “Alright we’re almost there.”

“We haven’t gone too far,” You think aloud as you look out at the darkening landscape, “You taking me into the national park to murder me Miller?”

“Nah, too much footfall, I’d get caught easily if I did that.” He says dryly and you balk a little, his face is dead set and you almost start to worry but then you see the telltale twitch of his dimple and laugh.

“Fuck you Joel that’s not funny!” You protest as you slap your hand on his shoulder.

“You started it.” He says with a laugh as you turn down another side road.

“Got me there.” You grumble but then you see it. A glassy black lake, with a single dock jutting into the middle. The moon is a pearly orb on the surface as the truck pulled up on the large lake house ahead. The lights are on in the cabin and something deep within you set off a panic alarm.

“Joel, the lights are on.” You whisper and he picks up on your anxiety immediately, his hand falls to your knee and he rubs softly against your sensitive skin.

“I know darlin’, I got the place ready for us, don’t worry no-one else is here.” He reassures you but the knot in your stomach doesn’t let up, not really.

“So is this yours?” You ask as Joel parks up out front.

“Fuck no, I couldn’t afford this in my wildest dreams, it’s a client’s but I did him a serious favour building this the way I did, for the price I charged, and in the time span he gave me. He let’s me use it whenever I want as long as he isn’t here.”

“Nice,” You say as you nod approvingly before shunting the passenger door open, the mechanism was getting worse, “I’m fixing that this weekend Joel.” You growl.

“Whatever you want baby, this weekend is for you, and you alone.” He says as he strides around to meet you.

“Joel, I am so grateful for this, for you, thank you.” You whisper as the emotions of the day finally catch up with you.

“It’s ok, I just know your dad has been a lot, and it’s clearly escalated since you got home, I want you to be happy baby, I want to make you happy, but I also want you to be safe.” He says as he presses his palm against your jaw, tilting your head so you look up at him. He was framed by the inky purple of the night sky, haloed by the spill of the Milky Way.

“Joel.” You whisper with tears in your eyes but no other words would come out, your throat was tight with emotion.

“I know, come on let’s head in.” He smiles down at you and your heart feels like it could burst. You grab the small rucksack you had packed after the shower and head up towards the brightly lit cabin, hand in hand with a man you were hopelessly smitten with, even if you knew it was more than that deep down.

Joel leads you up the beautifully crafted front steps, the columns of the porch were something out of a fairytale and as Joel opens the glass paned front door you gasp. The interior was a mixture of traditional wood panelling and modern styling. You were sure some of the paintings on the wall were worth more than you would ever make in your life.

“Holy shit Joel, what the hell is this place?” You breathe as you take in the floor to ceiling windows that led onto a patio and pool beyond. The dual staircases that hugged the walls led up to an interior balcony that you knew would have amazing views in the daylight. A double door lay at the centre of the balcony that you guessed was the master bedroom.

“One of the biggest jobs of my career, and one I take the most pride in.” Joel says, his tone is bashful as you turn to look at him with awe.

“It’s beautiful.” You say with the utmost sincerity and Joel’s coarse hand finds yours and his fingers weave between your own.

“I’m glad you think so, do you want something to eat?” Joel asks as he leads you into the large open plan kitchen diner. The floor to ceiling windows continue through into this room, the whole place is a work of sheer hedonistic decadence and you don’t quite know how to feel about it all.

“Yeah I’m starving.” You chuckle as your stomach growls angrily.

“Even after all that food at lunch?” Joel asks playfully as he steers you towards the fridge.

“They worked me hard today Joel, and I got my shitty little hatchback in good order. I burned it all off and more I bet.” You shrug as you open up the large fridge. Joel had stocked it with so much food, you look over your shoulder at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Ok I love food, but this is a lot Joel.” You say as you watch the creases at the corns of his eyes deepen.

“I know but I wanted to make sure you had variety.” He says as he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“You’re spoiling me Miller, keep this up and I’ll be a super-brat in no time.” You joke but the growl in Joel’s throat throws you.

“Is that an option?” He teases and you shake your head with a smile.

“I’m bratty when I want to be, but I have no intention of that being my only good quality.” You say as you lean back against him.

“Good, I like bratty, but I lo-,” He pauses, “Like a lot more about you than that.” He finishes with a stutter and you take some small solace in the fact that he too was struggling with his feelings for you.

“Good, now let’s eat,” You say, pulling meats and cheeses as well as butter from the fridge, “I fancy a sandwich.”

***

After you had eaten your fill and Joel had cleaned up you decided that the hot tub attached to the pool needed to be used. You slipped into the foamy waters in the skimpy little bathing suit that, like your blue and white sundress, was from a time before you had filled out in college. The tiny little purple triangles barely covered your breasts and the fabric was tight against your mound as you hid beneath the water.

“Comfortable sweetheart?” Joel asks as he slides into the hot tub next to you, a pair of crystal cut whisky glasses in one hand, a fresh bottle of Lagavulin 12 in the other.

“Absolutely,” You breathe as you take in the sight of him lounging in the hot effervescent water next to you, “How’d you know my favourite whisky, Miller?” You ask as you eye the bottle with not-so-subtle desire.

“I mean, it’s my favourite, and I have good taste, so…” He shrugs and yet again you feel the pit of your stomach warm. Joel pours you both a large measure and you take your glass from him.

“To us.” You toast and your glasses clink softly over the bubbling of the jets. You take a small sip of the gloriously smooth amber liquid as you allow your muscles to relax under the pressure of the hot tub. You sit back and let yourself breathe for what seems like the first time since you left home this morning.

“Everything alright darlin’?” Joel asks as he scoots a little closer, his arm loops over your shoulder and he pulls you against him. You melt into his embrace and sigh as you take another sip of the sweet, smooth, peaty liquid.

“No,” You admit with a sigh, you wanted tonight to be a whirlwind of passion and fucking but now you were finally away from it all, your defences were down, your heart sore, “I don’t want to bring the mood down, but I’m just feeling a bit lost.”

“Talk to me, we have all the time in the world, let me help.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple, gentle and soothing.

“Things came to a head today, he saw the hickey on my breast and it got nasty.” You murmur as you let your head fall against his chest. The steady breathing and slow heartbeat you had come to cherish now loud in your ear.

“Sorry darlin’, I should have been more careful.” He says as he nuzzles into the crown of your head.

“I’m a grown woman Joel, and don’t pretend like you didn’t see the bruising from him on my shoulder.” You bite back slightly. You didn’t mean to snap at him but he didn’t seem fazed as he continued to press soft tender kisses into your hair. 

“I did notice, but it’s not my place to fight your battles baby.” He growls, his grip on you a little tighter, a little more possessive.

“I appreciate that, thank you,” You say as you place your half-full glass on the shelf of the hot tub, “but right now all I want is you Joel.”

“You sure? We don’t have to-“ You cut him off as you straddle him, the warm water sloshing around you as you press down onto the broad frame of the man you were infatuated with.

“Joel, I want this, I want it more than anything I’ve ever wanted.” You breathe as you grind down on his hardening cock. He groans under you as his head tilts back, eyes closed, nostrils flared. You study his face, the shallow lines that frame his eyes easing as the muscles in his face relax. Your fingertips trace the line of patchy stubble along his jaw down to his chin where you press the pad of your thumb against his bottom lip.

“You sure baby? Because fuck do I want you, but I don’t want you to regret anything between us.” He breathes as his glass clinks against yours as he puts it down behind him before slipping his hands up to frame your face, his hands are warm and damp from the hot tub but it was soothing as he studied you. He presses a soft kiss into your thumb before slowly taking it between his teeth. He’s trying to be good but he indulges himself a little as he swipes his tongue across it slowly.

“Joel, I will always tell you when I don’t want something, I’m here because I want you, I need you.” You breathe as you you feel his moan vibrate through your digit.

“Good because I adore you, c’mere,” He pulls you closer, tilting your head down as he nuzzles his strong nose against yours, “We need to talk about things, about us, your dad, where we’re heading with all this,” His one hand moves to the back of your neck, the other slips under the bubbling waters and you feel the firm grip on the curve of your ass, “But tonight, we do whatever you want, we can watch a movie, drink ourselves into oblivion, get high on Tommy’s stash in the cellar, whatever you want.”

“Tommy has a stash in the cellar?” You ask as you brush your lips against Joel’s, watching his pupils dilate at the sensation as the grip on your neck tightens.

“Course he does, he helped me out on this job and he kept a key, he brings girls up here sometimes, but only ones he’s really trying to impress.” Joel’s laugh peals like wooden wind chimes and you feel your mood lift a little. You still couldn’t believe this was real, how such a handsome, funny, blisteringly sexy man could want you.

“I want to kiss you Joel.” You whisper and you feel his lips curve up into a smirk.

“That all darlin’?” His voice is gruff, laced with desire and thinly veiled impatience.

“I want you to kiss me everywhere, then I want you to use me Joel, I want you to fuck me whatever way you want.” Joel’s cock twitches against you as you grind down on him.

“We also need to talk about that dirty little mouth,” Joel growls, “But I’m not sure going that far when you’re feeling like this is a good idea.” He cautions as he nudges your head to the side with his nose, his lips hot and wet against your jaw as he breathes you in.

“Then let me take charge, tell me if there’s anything you’re out comfortable with and we can have some fun with it.” You hum softly as his teeth nip along your jawline.

“Deal.” Is all he says before pulling back and looking up into your eyes.

“Kiss me Joel.” You beg and his mouth twitches up at the corner, his cheek dimple popping adorably as you wait for him to move.

“Where?” His tone is belligerent and teasing as he refuses to move under you.

“Here.” You say as you drag your index finger over your lips. His mouth is on yours with a desperate hunger as he presses straight into your mouth with his tongue. Your moan is swallowed by his hungry lips as you grind down onto him. The shudder beneath you brings forth a pleasant warmth that spreads from your belly to your cunt. Your one hand knots in the hair on the back of his neck as the other slides down the soft, muscular plain of his body. Your hand teases at the waistband of his shorts.

“Fuck,” He breathes as he nudges his nose against yours, “Want to do this here or somewhere else?” He asks as he presses hungry kisses to your jaw line. The sensation is like a slow burn, building as he nips and sucks at the tight skin there.

“Bed. Hot tub sex is a nice concept, but water and pussies don’t always mix.” You admit with a sloppy smile.

“God I love how practical you are.” Joel grumbles as he wraps an arm around your waist before pushing himself up from the seated position with his other arm. Without a word he carries you out of the waters and presses soft kisses along your collarbone, his other hand now rests at the nape of your neck as you kiss and nip at the skin on his shoulder. You melt into his strong torso as he carries you up the stairs.

Like the rest of the cabin the bedroom was a mixture of wood panelling and floor to ceiling windows. Joel walks you into the en-suite and turns on the walk in shower. The large bed in the middle of the room has red satin sheets and black satin pillows. You look back into the bedroom yearningly and Joel catches your glance as he squeezes your ass softly.

“I thought we were going to bed?” You grumble as he sets you down, his hands still glued to your hips as he looks you over with desperate eyes.

“Need to wash you off,” Joel mumbles as he pushes you into the warm, high pressure stream of the shower. You groan involuntarily as you feel your shoulders relax under the heavy downpour. Joel slips in behind you and pulls you against him, “Let it all out mi amor.” Joel whispers against your neck as he holds you firmly against him. He never spoke Spanish anymore, the sound of it broke a seal somewhere in your chest and you let the tears fall in time with the water that cascaded down your face.

“Joel I-“ You splutter but he shushes you gently. You feel his strong arms around you as he presses kisses into your hair as he sways softly. He’s humming a tune you don’t quite recognise and you feel a loosening on the ice-cold fingers that had been gripping your heart all day. The tears turn into deep, lurching sobs as you squeeze your eyes shut under the flow of the shower head.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, not now, not ever if you don’t want, but I am here for you, always.” He releases you from his grip and places his hands on your shoulders as he starts to work out the knots in your muscles.

“Joel?” You breathe as the pressure slowly begins to ease at the base of your neck, your arousal is still simmering away, the ache in your core building as Joel’s large, strong hands push and pull at your flesh, soothing away the tension you had been holding onto for weeks.

“Take off my bikini.” You murmur, you were no longer crying, you still felt raw and vulnerable, but you were able to reconcile it a little better now.

“You sure?” Joel asks, the desire heavy in his voice as his fingertips trail up to the halter neck tie at the nape of your neck.

“Yes, and I want to take off your shorts.” You command as you turn to face him. The water washes over him as you look up into a look that you could only describe as rapturous, every fibre of his being was holding back, restraining his need for you.

“Anything you need.” His voice is hoarse as he pulls the halter neck free, the fabric drops, releasing your breasts as you reach around to unfasten the clasp. Your breasts tingle at the pressure of the shower head hammering hot droplets of water against your pebbled nipples. Joel drops his mouth to the valley between your breasts and the hot press of his tongue against your sternum makes you moan, his hot, lingering kisses pepper your skin as he moves to take one of your hardened peaks in his mouth.

“Joel.” You breathe as your back arches into him, the sharp, pleasant sensation of his teeth grazing over your nipple stokes the burning fire in your core. His head drops lower, nipping and kissing at your ribs, then your belly, eliciting soft gasps form you at every move.

He kneels before your clothed mound as he breathes out heavily. He hooks his fingers under the waist band and yanks them down in one swift motion. Before you can step out of them his mouth is on your clit, his strong hands presses against the curves of your ass. You hear him enhale deeply as his tongue slides between your folds. You feel heat spread across your chest and up to your cheekbones as you unashamedly groan at the lewdness of it all.

“You’ve got the sweetest pussy I’ve ever had, tastes so good, smells so good, takes my cock so good.” He purrs as he leaves a few lingering kisses on your clit before standing back up in front of you. You press yourself against him hungrily as you kick the swimwear from around your ankles.

“Let me taste.” You ask softly as you tilt your head up to meet his hungry lips. He presses his lips against yours slowly, teasing at your bottom lip as you dip your fingertips under his waistband, the hot, wet precum on his silky tip presses against your fingers as you slide over his head, quickly dropping lower, gripping his length with one hand. Joel moans into your mouth as he presses his tongue against yours. The taste of your own slick fills your mouth and you can feel your orgasm is close. You kneel down onto the warm shower tiles as you pull his swim shorts down, freeing his throbbing erection.

“Put it in my mouth.” You say softly, looking up at Joel through your eyelashes. Joel’s eyes swim with arousal as he steps out of his shorts. You smirk and open your mouth in a large “O” and push your tongue out invitingly.

“You’re such a dirty girl, look at that little face, so desperate for my cock.” He growls as he slides the tip of his cock over your tongue. The saltiness of his precum is harsh but you don’t let it pull you away from how hot this was.

“Only you Joel, only ever wanted your cock in me this bad.” You say softly before pressing him further into your mouth, your hands fall to his thighs as you steady yourself.

“Fuck baby, such as beautiful mouth.” Joel hisses as one hand falls to your shoulder, the other fists into your hair and you groan at the soft tug on your scalp. The sensation is so fucking hot you slide forward further than intended with a harsh, rasping moan as you take Joel deep in the back of your throat.

“Shit that’s fucking good.” Joel babbles as you force the breath through your nostrils, you can’t fit him all in but you try as best you can. Your one hand comes up to cup his balls and he practically snarls as he pulls out of your mouth.

“Shit sorry are you not into that?” You ask, panic fluttering at your chest as you look up at Joel apologetically.

“No darlin’, I just don’t want to come in your mouth, not tonight, I want your pussy, if that’s ok?” He adds at the end, seemingly remembering his promise that it was your night.

“It’s more than ok, it’s perfect.” You whimper as Joel tilts your head back a little, the sensual sting as he pulls on your hair makes you moan, your cunt twitching with impatience as you squeeze your thighs together.

“Up.” He commands and you practically climb him as you paw greedily at his hips, his shoulders, as you pull yourself up. He reaches around you and turns off the faucet, the drumming of the shower cutting out to bring forth a tense, charged silence. Neither of you wanting to make the first move. Finally Joel reaches for a soft sapphire blue towel and hands it to you, only grabbing himself one once you begin to towel off.

You finish towelling off and as you throw the towel to the floor Joel picks you up and slings you over his shoulder in one swift motion.

“Joel!” You squeal as you giggle and thrash on his shoulder. His firm hand cracks down on your ass and you shudder at the stinging sensation, it was hard enough to make you squirm, but just gentle enough that it didn’t actually hurt.

“You make the sweetest little noises when I spank you darlin’, can’t help myself sometimes.” He nips lightly at the swell of your ass, only a second before you’re falling backwards onto the satin sheets. His body is on top of you before you can catch your breath and the tip of his cock is pressed against your belly as he licks into your all too eager mouth. His knees press against the backs of your thighs as he grinds down into you. Your hips buck up into him as your back arches off the bed.

“How do you want this?” He asks as he breaks the kiss, his large brown eyes looking for any sign of hesitation.

“You want to take me from behind?” You breathe as you feel his body ripple over you.

“I’m game if you are.” His voice is thick with unrestrained desire now.

“Flip me over and fuck me into these expensive sheets Miller.” You command and with a grunt from Joel you’re on your front, your head pressed into the sheets as he hoists you up onto your knees. You feel him shift behind you and you are about to turn to look at him when you feel the hot press of his tongue at your core as he presses into you, fucking you with his tongue slowly as his hand snakes around to play with your clit.

“Joel fuck that’s so good.” You mewl as you shudder around his thick tongue.

“Glad you like it baby, nice and wet for me, you ready for me?” He asks and you know you are, you were moments away from your release and you wanted this orgasm to be from his dick.

“Fuck me, fuck me hard.” You beg as you wiggle your hips against his hot mouth.

“You’re so fucking hot baby, let me fill you up, fuck you down into those sheets just like you want.” He breathes as he repositions his tip at your entrance. The hot, hard press of his thick cock makes you cry out, the angle allowing him to get deeper, press against your g-spot with ease as you tremble around him.

“Joel, I’m going to touch myself, but I want you to do something for me.” Your words are slurred as your hand is already rubbing lazy, intuitive circles into your clit.

“Anything darlin’.” Joel agrees softly as he holds himself still inside you, he’s buried deep inside you and you struggle to get your words out as your mind goes soft.

“Spank me.” You groan and you feel him twitch inside you as he registers your command.

“Let me know if it gets too much, or if I’m too rough ok?” Joel’s voice is hoarse as he tries to keep his cool, you’re driving him nuts and you bask in that knowledge.

“I will, now please, make me come Joel.” You mewl and that’s all he needed to hear.

“Fuck baby I’m going to make you scream.” His voice is dark, heady with desire as he begins to piston into you like a man possessed, his tight balls slap loudly against your mound at this angle and if you weren’t already teetering on the heady edge of your release, the loud, percussive slap of Joel’s hand across your ass brought you tumbling down into the tight, fiery abyss as your pussy clenches around Joel’s merciless thrusts.

Your fingers are frantic on your clit as you feel a second orgasm building fast as Joel spanks you once more, the shockwaves making you groan into the satin sheets, you’re drooling into the sheets as the second release comes in time with Joel. His thrusts are staggered, feverish as he ruts into you twice more before he groans your name loudly, once, twice, three times as you feel him fill you up.

“Fuck.” He growls as he rocks into you a few more times, sending bursts of white hot pleasure as you ride the choppy waves of overstimulation.

“Fuck indeed.” You sigh as he pulls out, his body hits the bed next to you and immediately his hands are roaming along your spine, splaying over your ass lovingly as you look up into his soft, caring gaze. You roll into his arms as he continues to trace patterns into your skin as you press your forehead against his chest, breathing in the scent of you, Joel, the freshly washed sheets and the unmistakable lewd stench of sex. You’re drifting off even though you know you need to get up and pee but the moment is too perfect.

“Thank you Joel.” You murmur as you try and rouse yourself enough to get up.

“Was that ok? I didn’t go too hard? You ok with the intensity? The spanking wasn’t too-?” You silence Joel’s fretting by pulling him into a long, lingering kiss, the slow passion different to the hunger and thirst you usually had for one another. This time it was tender, tongues brushing against one another as you mould into him.

“Joel that was perfect, you were perfect.” You say softly as you break the kiss to look into his eyes.

“Good, because it was for me too, you’re so perfect mi amor.” He smiles down at you before pressing a sloppy kiss to your forehead.

“Now come on I need to pee, then I want to have a good, long sleep in your arms.” You say, wincing a little at how corny you sounded but Joel’s smile only brightens at the notion.

“Sounds like a plan,” He murmurs before rolling off the bed, “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” You beam up at him as you follow him back into the en suite, all the while asking yourself what you had done to deserve this. But right now that didn’t matter, not really, as this weekend wasn’t about what if’s or will-they-won’t-they’s. This weekend was about you and Joel, and the promise of what could someday be. And despite yourself the same sentence keeps repeating on loop in your head. 

I love you Joel Miller.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 - The Promise

The cacophony of birdsong lures you from a deep, peaceful sleep as you curse the beautifully chaotic noise. Then you remember where you are, who you are with, and whose arm is holding you across your middle as the broad spread of his chest presses into your back. Your stomach flips delightfully as you snuggle back down under the satin sheets, you loop your fingers around Joel’s wrist as you press back into him. A muffled groan escapes his lips as your bare ass presses against his groin, the action was intentional, but you hadn’t expected how hot his sleepy little moan would make you.

“Morning darlin’, you that eager for another round?” His warm lips press against the nape of your neck, his tongue drags slowly across your skin and you feel the goosebumps flutter along your body. You grind back against his hardening length as his hand moves up from your middle to cup your right breast.

“Do you really have to ask?” You say as you move his hand down to your already soaked pussy. He shudders behind you as two of his thick digits slide between your folds.

“Clearly not,” Joel moans as he bucks his hips against your ass. The hard press of his cock brushes the tight ring of your asshole and you gasp as the sweet little bundle of nerves reacts to his thick head, “Sorry darlin’, didn’t mean to pressure you there.” He growls as he repositions on the bed, his length now sliding forcefully between your thighs.

“Mmm, kind of liked it.” You mumble as you let your head fall back against Joel’s chest.

“Hey, if you want to try it sometime let me know, but I’m not feeling that right now darlin’, I’d prefer something slow, lazy.” Joel breathes as he nips at your tender flesh, his right hand coming back up to tease at the pebbled nub of your right nipple. The tight, wet, jolting pleasure rocks you as he pulls and rolls the sensitive bud between his thumb and forefinger.

“I’m good with lazy, just want you mi corazón.” You purr as you feel his cock twitch at your words.

“Careful there darlin’, ‘saying things too heavy, too loaded, too soon.” Joel says as his teeth nip at your skin and you moan under his touch.

“Says you, I’ve not heard you speak a lick of Spanish for years, yet it slipped out the other night. I know what it means to you.” You retort and you feel Joel’s smile against the crook of your neck.

“Good point,” He breathes as he nips and sucks at the slope of your neck, “You sure though, you want this? Want me? Long term? I won’t be offended, but don’t give this old man false hope.” Joel’s tone is light, jovial even, but you know he’s being sincere.

“Joel, I’ve been all in since I saw the look you gave me in the cab of your truck, every single interaction since has only compounded my feelings for you.” You breathe as you try to ease his doubts.

“Yeah, me too, just can’t believe my luck, you’re so beautiful and smart, and funny and well, I’m old and none of those things.” Joel mutters into your skin and your heart aches at the self-doubt spilling from his perfect lips.

“Joel, I’m not into you just because you’re strikingly hot, nor because you are a fucking animal in bed, I’m here, with you, because you’re funny, kind, you’re an amazing dad, and you make my heart feel full, and for the record, you’re not old.” Joel chuckles gently into your akin as he rubs his thumb along the curve of your ass.

“Feels like it sometimes,” He grumbles into your skin as you whimper at the press of his cock between your legs, “But not when you make those beautiful sounds for me, never feel old when you do that.”

“Hey Joel?” You whimper as you squeeze your thighs softly against his length as you grind yourself against the thickness of his length.

“What baby?” He says with a gasp as he bucks into the pressure of your tightly pressed thighs.

“Fuck me like this.” You breathe as your right hand falls to your clit, stimulating the already tender bundle of nerves as Joel moans into the spread of your shoulders.

“You sure, it’s going to be tight.” Joel’s voice is hoarse as he tries to hold back but you feel the urgency in the way his finger and thumb tightened on your nipple, the hot rasp of his breath on your skin.

“Please.” You mewl, moving your hips to encourage him.

“Fuck I can’t say no to that.” He groans as he pulls out from between your thighs, immediately his head is at your core as you work your clit, already feeling the beginnings of an orgasm working itself up inside you. But still he pauses.

“Joel please.” You plead and the visceral growl from his chest reverberates through you as he plunges deep into you. You stretch around his girth and feel the world spin as the pleasure and stretch meld together into one delightfully animalistic sensation. You love the way he thrusts into you, not just a simple piston in and out, but a buck of his hips every few thrusts to hit you deep into your tight walls. He doesn’t just pound into your sensitive cervix like so many men you’d slept with before, instead he angles and regulates his thrusts so that he hits the pleasure rich spot inside you that make you come undone.

“Not going to last much longer.” Joel breathes in your ear and the sensation of is hot breath on your skin is enough to help you build to your release. As Joel thrusts more heavily, less controlled you feel your own release build and you cry out as your practiced fingers find that last burst of sensation on your clit as Joel thrusts into you hard and fast. You feel the shudder of his body as he releases his spend into you as your cunt pulsates hard around his length.

His teeth find your shoulder and he melts into your skin as he sinks his teeth in deep, his mouth sucking and licking furiously as he continues to thrust into you, the impulse of his orgasm driving him on, even if he had softened a little. The sensation is maddening as you feel another slow, languid aftershock burst through you.

“Fuck.” You breathe as you twitch back against him, your walls clenching against him as you hear the soft exhales of his breath as you do so.

“Yeah, fuck.” Joel breathes as he wraps both his arms around you, pulling you back against him as his cock remains buried inside you.

“Joel?” You ask as you try to get your head straight, but that was no easy feat with Joel pressing delicate kisses to any span of skin he could find.

“Mmm?” He manages as he pulls you against him, the affection and gentleness a blissful juxtaposition to the hunger of only a few minutes prior.

“Can we go make breakfast? I’m starving.” You admit bashfully as your stomach gurgles loudly.

“Of course, but we need to shower first.” He insists and you don’t disagree, you whine softly in disappointment as Joel pulls out, which in turn makes him chuckle.

“I know baby, ‘could stay buried in you forever.” He murmurs as he places a soft, lingering kiss on your shoulder before rolling out of bed. You groan and roll over into the spot where Joel had just been, burying yourself in the sheets as you press your face into the pillow where he had slept. You breathe in the cocktail of vanilla, sawdust, and his natural musk, that are uniquely Joel.

“Am I going to have to haul you into the shower again there darlin’?” You hear the smile in his voice as you groan into the sheets, hiding your face from Joel as you feel your face ache from the wide grin that was plastered on your lips.

“That sounds like a threat there, Miller.” You grumble and you feel the bed shift near your ankles and you can’t help the excited giggle that escapes you in anticipation.

“Mmm, I don’t make threats darlin’,” He purrs as you feel his knees slide either side of your hips, “I make promises.” He says as you feel his warm hands on your back, kneading the tight muscles in soft motions as you melt beneath him.

“This is a pretty poor attempt at getting me out of bed Joel.” You breathe as his strong hands work their way to the column of you neck, the tension you had built up from craning your neck in the garage was worse than you realised. You cry out as the firm pressure of his strong fingers works through a particularly stubborn knot of muscle.

“Maybe, do you want me to stop?” He purrs as he lowers his body over you, his mouth at your ear as he lets his bodyweight rest atop you.

“No,” You mewl but your stomach growls angrily yet again, “But make it up to me later?” You laugh as another rippling gurgle from your stomach rips through the room.

“Anything you want darlin’, this weekend’s for you,” Joel places a soft kiss behind your ear and you hum softly, “No more stalling, shower now.” He growls into your ear before he effortlessly snatches you up from the bed. You squeal in delight as he hoists you over his shoulder, you realise he liked manhandling you like this. You couldn’t deny you quite liked it too.

*

“Ok that should do it.” You huff as you test the door mechanism, it clicks softly as it closes and when you pull on the handle it opens with ease. You were glad you brought your tool kit and some oil as the whole truck needed a bit of TLC.

“Magic.” Joel says softly as you feel his arms loop around your waist.

“A garage would have charged you ‘couple hundred bucks for that and taken all day.” You admit, leaning back into the older man’s arms as you tilt your slightly greasy face up to take him in. The bright sunlight haloes around his thick dark curls, his face is shadowed but his eyes shine as he takes you in.

“What are you going to charge me darlin’?” He asks before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You think for a moment, silly, dirty thoughts running through your mind before you settle on something unorthodox.

“Make me some thing you love for dinner.” You say slowly and you watch as Joel’s expression changes from amused to delighted.

“Full of surprises.” Joel says as he brushes his nose against yours. You pull him in for a long, slow kiss. Your tongues brushing tenderly as you loop your arms around his neck, hands fisting in the soft curls at the collar of his flannel shirt. His hands fall to your waist as he pulls you against him deepening the kiss as you moan softly up into him. It was such an intimate kiss, full of emotion and tenderness. The brush of his stubble on your skin electric, you could stay like this forever.

“So, this is where you got to, who’s the lucky lady?” Tommy’s voice slices through the moment like a burning blade, you look up into Joel’s horrified expression as you pull away from the kiss. You shrink behind Joel as he turns on the spot to face his brother.

“Tommy, before you say anything please try to keep an open mind, we’re all consenting adults.” Joel says slowly but you can tell he’s panicking, his shoulders are tense and you can see the way his hands curled and uncurled in fists as he spoke.

“Christ Joel, how young is she?” Tommy laughs as he tries to push Joel out of the way, but Joel grabs the collar of his younger brother’s shirt.

“It’s not about that, take this seriously, promise me?” Joel’s voice is strained and your heart hammers in your throat as you realise how make-or-break this situation was for Joel, Tommy and Sarah meant everything to him. He couldn’t lose them, not like this.

“Alright asshole, I promise.” Tommy relents and you see Joel’s muscles ripple as he releases his brother.

“You ready?” Joel asks over his shoulder as he looks at you with sad eyes. He clearly felt the pinch at the situation and the potential fallout was evidently at the forefront of his mind. You simply nod and your fingers tremble as he steps aside, taking your hand in his as Tommy looks at you in awe.

“Well shit, this explains a lot, I mean a lot, a lot.” He says as he looks between you both. The look on his face was infuriating, like he was actually enjoying your discomfort.

“Tommy, I-“ You start but he puts his hand up in protest.

“You don’t owe me an explanation, I mean, I would at least have liked to have been afforded a chance to show you how much better I would have been for you.” You blink slowly, hardly registering the fact that he was actually poking fun at the situation. He wasn’t mad, or upset, you could swear he was almost happy for you. His handsome face was illuminated by the bright smile on his lips as you feel Joel squeeze your hand.

“You’re not mad?” Joel’s voice is hoarse.

“Why would I be mad? I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, I was honestly just hoping you’d both just grow the fuck up and get on with it.” He shrugs and your heart threatens to burst with the blunt honesty of the younger Miller.

“Asshole.” Is all Joel can muster before he laughs from deep in his belly, he pulls you against his side and you join in.

“So, you moving in then?” Tommy asks you and you feel your ears burning as you stare him down.

“Tommy.” Joel growls in warning as you smile at the interaction.

“Actually yes,” You say softly, looping your arm around Joel’s waist as you speak, “I’m moving into his office, to get some space from my dad, at least until I can get an apartment of my own.” You say as Joel looks at you in shock, eyes like saucers as he realises what you were saying.

“You sure? You don’t have to.” Joel says softly as his free hand cups your cheek. You melt into his large, warm palm as you involuntarily nuzzle into him.

“Of course, I don’t say things I don’t mean Joel.” You say softly.

“Alright lovebirds, you’re making me nauseous, I’m heading home, thought I’d get some peace here but clearly you guys have staked your claim.” He sighs as he stuffs his hands in his jeans.

“What about the fishing trip?” You ask, focus snapping back to Tommy and he flinches at the intensity of your gaze.

“Your father bailed out this morning, the mood on him was tempestuous, as was his hangover.” Tommy says with a shrug, and you pinch the bridge on your nose as you try not to give in to the urge to go home and apologise to him.

“He’s a grumpy bastard these days,” Joel says curtly, and you raise your eyebrows as you look up into his hard gaze, “Want to hang out with us? We’ll behave.” Joel proposes and you actually don’t mind the idea. It’d be nice to be honest with Tommy and spend time as a group.

A family.

The thought crosses your mind in a flash and you feel the warm, pleasant feeling of joy seep through you, it’s premature, reckless even, but you want this more than anything you have ever wanted in your life. You want to be a Miller.

“Nah, I was just going to grab my weed and head to Annabelle’s anyway, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough,” He chuckles as he approaches you, “If you are serious about this, I’m happy for you, hermana.” He says softly as he ruffles your hair.

“Thank you, cabrón.” You respond with a touch of sass, heat flooding your cheeks as you try not to be annoyed at the mussing of your hair. He passes you both without another word and you’re left speechless as Joel exhales through his nose as his free hand combs through his wavy locks.

“That could have gone worse.” You breathe as you watch Tommy disappear through the front door.

“Much fucking worse, you ok?” Joel asks as you lean against him, your eyes still fixated on the front door.

“Weirdly, I’m actually glad he turned up, ripping off the band aid and all that.” You say softly as you lean against his strong, comforting frame.

“Yeah, it forced the issue,” Joel says with a hum as he pulls you tight against him, “Feels good to know he’s on board.” You melt into his embrace, your face pressed against his chest as you spread your palms across his shoulders.

“I meant what I said,” You say softly as you pull back to look up into Joel’s soft chestnut eyes, “I want to move into your office, temporarily, if you’ll have me?”

“Of course darlin’, and you know I’d have you just move into my bed, if-“

“If it weren’t for Sarah, I know, I understand, I want her to be on board with this, I want to do this right, hence why I’m still going to look for a place.” You say as you smile up at him.

“What have I done to deserve this? Deserve you?” He breathes as he presses his forehead to yours.

“I’ve been asking myself the same thing for weeks Joel, I still can’t believe it sometimes.” You whisper as you lean against him. The fresh air mingles with with the vanilla, tobacco scent of of Joel as you let your heart rate settle to a normal rhythm.

“You deserve the world darlin’, I just hope I can give you a fraction of it.” He breathes as he leans down to press a soft kiss on your lips. You feel arousal thrum in your core as you meet his soft, expressive kiss.

“As long as that fraction includes you, now come on, I fancy a beer and something to eat.” You pull away as Tommy heads back down the steps.

“Damn I always forget how over the top this place is until I’m back here.” Tommy whistles dramatically as you watch him pocket his stash.

“Yeah it’s a lot.” You say with a smile as you try to abate the nerves rolling around your belly like snakes.

“Hey hon,” Tommy says as he strides up to you, “Welcome to the family.” Tommy wraps you in a bear hug and you squeal as he spins you around much like you’d seen him do to Sarah often. Your heart feels like it is going to burst out of your chest as you feel the love and affection of the younger Miller flood through you.

“Thanks Tommy, but that may be a little premature.” You say as he sets you back down, your head spinning a little.

“I’m pretty sure Joel isn’t going to let you go now,” Tommy winks at you and you feel Joel’s strong arms loop around your waist as his chin rests on top of your head, “And I’m rarely wrong about these things.”

“Tommy,” Joel growls and he meets Tommy’s boyish gaze, “Fuck off.”

“Alright I’m going, want me to pick Sarah up tomorrow? I can score some Uncle Points and buy her takeout and ice-cream.”

“You really don’t mind?” Joel asks abruptly, but not unkindly, it seemed even he was still struggling to believe that this had gone so well.

“’Course not, means you two don’t need to rush, I’m rooting for you kids.” Tommy winks but before either of you could say anything he turned on his heel and headed to his truck that was parked beyond the gate to the cabin.

“God he’s exhausting.” Joel sighs as you watch tommy’s truck drive out of sight.

“But he’s kind, and a good man, so I can put up with a little bit of exhaustion from him.” You laugh as Joel squeezes you, his mouth brushing against your ear.

“Speaking of exhaustion, you should put your feet up, relax, you’ve had a hard day.” He growls before flicking his tongue against your earlobe.

“Joel it’s,” You start as you check your watch, “Not even noon, I’ve barely done a thing.” You protest meekly, your willpower fragile in the arms of Joel Miller, his lips now at the bridge of your neck and shoulders. The hot wet press of his tongue on your skin makes you moan as you arch back up into his broad chest.

“Mmm, that’s true, but I really want to bury my tongue in that sweet little cunt of yours.” He breathes as his lips ghost against the curve of your ear. The dirty talk make your knees weak as you mewl pathetically as your pussy twitches desperately.

“Joel.” Is all you can muster as he brushes his angular nose against your ear.

“You like it when I talk dirty darlin’? Like hearing what I want to do to you?” He purrs and you squirm in his arms, wanting to turn around and kiss him but his right hand braces around your neck. You bite down on your lip hard as you rub your thighs together desperately as you feel the hot press of his palm against your skin.

“I do, it’s fucking hot.” You moan feebly as you press your ass against Joel’s firm cock.

“Good, because I love telling you, now let’s go get comfortable.” Joel releases the grip on your neck, turning you to face him as his mouth crashes into yours, his lips unrelenting as he hoists you up around his waist. You dig your fingers into the fabric of his shirt and press your tongue into Joel’s eager mouth.

Joel crosses the distance to the porch in long, purposeful strides, throwing the front door open with a crash and you both cringe for a moment at the loud noise. A soft chuckle escapes Joel’s lips as he carefully closes the unharmed door with one hand, pulling you tight against him with the other. You feel the thrum of arousal in your core as Joel’s free hand cups your jaw. The rough calloused fingers scraping along your skin sent electricity down your spine.

“Love how you react to me darlin’, love those little noises you make.” His lips brush yours as he speaks and you try and fight back the moan that builds in your throat, almost to deny him the satisfaction but the press of his lips on your neck followed by a long swipe of his tongue sends you over the edge.

“There it is, trying to hold back on me darlin’?” Joel says as he carries you into the kitchen. You look around in surprise, expecting to be heading to the bedroom.

“Maybe,” You say softly as you look up through your lashes at him, “Is that a problem?”

“Depends, you want to be a good girl who gets to ride my face until she screams?”

“Or?” You challenge as he places you on the countertop, his arms cage you in as he sucks on your neck, his teeth nipping softly at your skin.

“You keep being a little brat and I bend you over the island and fuck you slow and hard until you beg me to let you cum.”  

You gasp at his words as you savour his filthy mouth, loving the sound of both options, but Joel pulls back immediately, concern in his eyes as he studies your face, and you frown at him an unspoken question in it.

“Did I go too far?” He asks softly, his hands move to hold your face gently, tenderly as he waits for an answer.

“No, not at all,” You fumble, unsure what to say, “I thought it was really hot.” You admit with a shy smile.

“Good, I just don’t want you to just go along with things because you think it’s what I want, you need to be comfortable, and I want you to enjoy yourself.” Joel’s tone is all business and you nod sharply, wanting him to get the message loud and clear.

“I want that too.” You say as you put your hands over his as you speak.

“Ok then, if you’re sure you want to do this, we can play around and see what you like ok? We should have a safe word yeah?” Joel’s voice is soft, caring.

“Ok but I want to have like, normal sex too, like I don’t want to worry about safe words and stuff all the time?” You push back a little, this seemed fun, exciting even, but you needed to know it wasn’t the only way you were going to do it from now on.

“Of course darlin’, sorry, we should have spoken about this before,” Joel sighs but the smile doesn’t leave his face, “We’ll only do this stuff if we agree to it beforehand ok?”

“Sounds good to me, and I choose Morel.”

“Morel? Why?” Joel laughs, a deep throaty sound that makes you feel safe, secure in your decision.

“They freak me out, all those holes and the texture, ugh.” You say with a shudder as you make a face at him which only makes him laugh louder.

“Fair enough, so you good? You want to continue with option one for now?” Joel’s hands fall to your shoulders and you take his face in your hands to kiss him slowly, pulling at his bottom lip as you slide your arms around his neck.

“Maybe,” You breathe as you rub your nose on his, “Maybe I want to be a bad girl and take option number two.”

“Fuck.” Joel hisses through clenched teeth as his grip tightens slightly on your shoulders.

“Fuck me.” You growl as Joel closes his eyes with a wry smile turning up the corners of his lips.

“You’re not the one who makes demands here sweetheart.” Joel scolds you and you feel heat flood to your core at the reprimand. He picks you up and spins you around and in one swift movement Joel has you pressed against the cool marbled counter of the kitchen island, his weight bears down on you as his rigid cock presses against your ass, you squirm and try to gain purchase, but the island is too wide and you can’t find anything to hang onto.

“Arms out.” Joel orders as he tugs on the collar of your overalls, pulling you off the cool surface enough for you to reach the front of your overalls. You contemplate disobeying but you don’t want to push it too far. You do as you’re told slowly peeling off the denim and as the fabric leaves your shoulders Joel gently eases you back to the countertop with his left hand firmly on your shoulder, the other works to pull down the rest of the overalls to your ankles. Still in your bra and tank top you wait with nervous energy for what comes next.

Your heart is racing as the cool marble presses against your cheek. You feel Joel just behind you, just out of reach as he makes you wait. Your cotton panties are snug against your already dripping mound and you know he’s taking in the view. You hear the clasp of Joel’s belt unfasten followed by his zipper as you try to stay still. Then the head of his cock presses against your core and you moan, the lewd sensation of his tip against your clothed core had you bucking back up into him.

He pulls away and you feel the hard slap on your ass as the sound echoes around the open plan kitchen. The sensation is blinding as you cry out in pleasure, the impact rocking through your needy cunt.

“Too eager baby, I didn’t say you could do that.” Joel murmurs threateningly as he rubs his left palm soothingly over the curve of your ass, taking some of the sting out of the slap but you were already panting. You liked the sting, it sent waves of pleasure laced with pain through your cunt as you quivered beneath him.

“Sorry.” You whimper and Joel resumes his position at your core, pressing harder this time as you feel your toes curl at the sensation.

“Good girl, now let’s take a look.” Joel’s head leaves you once more, his fingers tugging at the moist fabric to expose your dripping folds to the humid Texas air, “Fucking beautiful, always so ready for me.” His words threaten to tip you over the edge, you’re sure if he so much as touches your bare skin you’ll come undone.

“Make me feel so good, can’t get enough.” You mumble, already so turned on you can barely think about anything except having Joel buried deep inside of you.

“So needy.” He breathes as you feel him shift behind you, his strong hands spread your ass cheeks apart and you go limp as his mouth finds you. He licks a long, slow stripe from your clit to your entrance as he plunges his thick tongue inside you. You shudder as you feel your walls flutter around him as he fucks you with his tongue. He moans like a man starved, as if the only thing he could ever eat is your pussy.

“Joel, I- I’m close.” You whisper and his chuckle vibrates through your folds.

“Mmm I know sweetheart, let it out, let me taste how much you need me.” He growls as he plunges his tongue back inside you, his thumb comes up to your clit and in two swift strokes you’re coming hard into his mouth. Your eyes screw shut as the blinding wave of long-overdue release consumes you. Joel keeps swiping his rough pad across your clit as he laps at your core.

“Fuck Joel, I’m sorry.” You whisper, realising you had messed up, coming before you were supposed to.

“It’s ok darlin’, I said you could, but I need you to try and hold on for this next one ok?” Joel swats your ass once more, softer this time, as he rises to press the tip of his swollen cock at your entrance, swiping it through your folds and pressing it against your throbbing clit. You convulse under him as overstimulation rocks through you.

“I’ll try.” You whisper, barely able to think, let alone speak as Joel continues to torture you.

“Good enough.” Joel grunts as he thrusts into you with one brutal snap of his hips. You scream out as you arch back at the rough, satisfying stretch that threatens to make you come again but you clench down hard, riding through the overstimulation as Joel holds himself there, panting heavily against your back as he snakes his arms under yours, pulling you up slightly as he palms your breasts. His mouth is on the nape of your neck as he whispers unintelligible praises into your skin.

“Going to fuck you until you can’t take it any more darlin’, I’m not holding back unless you use the word ok?” He rasps, still buried to the hilt as you hear the strain in his voice.

“Use me Joel, fuck me so hard I can’t think.” You plead and you feel the twitch of his dick against your walls and you groan as he begins to slowly pull out, almost completely before another punishing snap of his hips has you squirming back against him as he bites down hard on your skin, sucking a mark into your skin just below your neckline, claiming you as his as he pulls back to the tip yet again.

“’So fucking perfect, so fucking good to me, such a sweet little cunt.” Joel babbles as his pace picks up, clearly impatient to chase his release, abandoning the slow and torturous rhythm he had planned.

“Joel, fuck I feel so full.” You cry out as the intensity and speed picks up, you don’t know where Joel stops and you begin, you’re so tight around him as he rocks into the soft, pressured spot deep inside you as he bucks into you. Your nails scrape against the smooth counter as you start to come undone at the brutal, desperate pace Joel was setting and you desperately want to come around him, milk him dry.

“God yes, can feel you clenching baby, want to touch yourself?” He breathes as he takes your earlobe in his teeth, his hot, flannel-clad chest pressed against your back. Your head lolls forwards as you wheeze out a response. The fact you were both still mostly clothed only made it hotter.

“Please.” You beg and Joel hums in your ear.

“Cum for me darlin’, cum around my cock as I fuck you senseless.” He orders as he licks a slow path along the curve of your ear. The sensation is maddening and your right hand drops to your clit.

“Joel I’m so close.” You cry out as your practiced fingers make quick work against the swollen bundle of nerves. You knew how to make yourself come but when Joel was this rough, this deep, inside you it took a fraction of the time it would usually, and you feel the rippling pressure erupt from the base of your spine as your second orgasm tears through you like a riptide. You scream out as the white-hot pleasure explodes inside you.

“Fuck yes, fuck yes, fuck-!” Joel roars as his thrusts become more frantic, faster, harder until one last snap of his hips has him trembling against your back, his forehead pressed to the top of your spine as he coats your fluttering walls with his spend. You whimper as you are caught between the oppressive weight of Joel’s body and the stark contrast of the cool marble.

“Joel.” You breathe as you tremble through your aftershocks. He breathes your name back into your skin, kissing and nipping at the base of your neck as you squirm beneath him. His softening cock twitching inside you as you move.

“Alright come on we can’t stay like this.” He admits with a sigh as he pulls you back up onto your feet. Your palms hit the edge of the island to steady yourself as you pine at the sensation of his dick easing out of you. He pulls you back against him as he leans back against the kitchen counter behind him as he pulls your panties back into place, your overalls still pooled at your feet.

“That was intense but fuck me was that amazing.” You sigh as you rest back against his broad chest.

“Glad you liked it darlin’, you ok? Didn’t spank too hard? Didn’t go too far?” He asks and you feel the smile spread across your lips as he presses soft kisses into the top of your head.

“No complaints here, thank you for checking though.” You breathe as you squeeze his forearms.

“Gotta be done, can’t have you not enjoying anything we do, gotta make sure we check in, look after one another when we do this.” He says as he nuzzles against your scalp with his strong nose.

“I’ve never had this Joel, not just the rough sex, the after-care, the checking in, it’s always been about them.” You feel tears stinging at your eyes as you think about how badly previous partners had treated you.

“Because they were boys after only one thing, I want you to enjoy this as much, if not more than I do. If there’s ever an imbalance like that I’ve fucked up.” He says earnestly and you feel the pleasant heat in your chest as you fall even more in love with him.

“I love you Joel.” You breathe, the words escaping your mouth before you can stop them, panic floods you like ice water in your veins as you screw your eyes shut, mortified that you’d just said it.

“I love you too darlin’.” He breathes and all doubt and shame leave you as you turn in his arms to look up at him, your eyes bleary with unshed tears.

“You mean it?” You say softly as you can hardly believe what was happening.

“I promise,” He says softly as he brushes a strand of hair out of your eyes, “Now no tears, as much as it might seem too soon, I’ve got no doubt in mind I mean it, I hope you do too.”

“I do, I really do Joel.” You drop your head to his chest and breathe in the heady aroma of your combined scents, vanilla, lavender, wood chippings, and the carnal stench of sex. His heart is hammering in his chest as you press your ear against him.

“Good, now I think a shower, something to eat, then a nap is in order.” He chuckles and the sound vibrates through his chest and you nod. You still can’t believe it, but the joy radiating through you was hard to ignore. For the first time since your mom had died, you felt truly happy.

I love you Joel Miller, more than you will ever know.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6 - The Choice

Neither of you wanted the weekend to end but the universe had other ideas. You lie under a broad, old southern live oak at the edge of the land surrounding the cabin. Your head rests in Joel’s lap as he absently plays with your hair with one hand, his other holds his cell to his ear as he make yet another call. You don’t mind, you’re just happy to be here, basking in the glow that is you and Joel, together.

“Right, I get that Justin, but what do you want me to do about it? I’m out of town, can’t you get Howard to do it?” Joel growls down the line and your attention piques at the mention of your dad.

“How long?” Joel’s tone is dark and you push yourself up and give Joel a quizzical look. He shakes his head at you as he tries to wrap up the call. “I see, text me if you hear from him, and let the boss know I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Your heart drops a little, but you knew your time here was finite, you just wish that you had a little more time.

As he hangs up he exhales and lets his head fall against the tree, his hand raking over his face, the scratch of his calloused fingers on his beard loud in the relative quiet of the mid-morning air.

“Do I want to know?” You ask as you place your hands in your lap, legs crossed as you try not to salivate at the sight of him. The soft glow of the light filtering through the tree line made Joel look Godly. Not that you needed ambient light to think that of him.

“Dunno, do you want to ruin this weekend with shitty, but not urgent news?” Joel looks over to you, his soft, dark eyes steeped with conflict.

“No, if it’s not urgent I don’t care.” You say softly as you crawl onto his lap, straddling him as you lace your fingers into his hair. He groans softly at the pull on his scalp and you feel the heat pool at our core. You had never felt so insatiable for a man before, yet here Joel was, making you wet by just reacting to your touch.

“You sure?” Joel asks as his hands fall to your hips, pressing hard enough to make your pulse quicken, but not so hard to be painful.

“Yes, I don’t want him to have that kind of power over me, if he’s fucking up his life it’s not my problem.” You say as you pull harder on his hair, exposing his thick neck as he groans loudly this time and you whine softly at he grinds up against you.

“I’m sorry darlin’, I never wanted this for you.” Joel growls as your lips find his neck, you nip at the sensitive skin all the way up to his jaw.

“What for Joel? The fact my dad’s an asshole?” You say without hesitation, making your opinion of your father abundantly clear, if it wasn’t already.

“Nah, just that you have to deal with all this, I want you to be happy, fulfilled.” Joel says as he drops his head to your shoulder. His hot breath against your neck as he returns the favour, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses against the crook of your neck.

“Joel I’m a grown woman and what this is, here, now, with you? This is me, fulfilled, happy.” You say softly as you nip at the shell of his ear. You squirm as Joel grinds his hips up against you, slowly this time, savouring the friction.

“As long as you’re sure,” Joel growls as he fists his left hand into your hair, “But whatever you want darlin’, I just want you to be happy.”

“What do you want Joel?” You ask, pulling back to look into his eyes. His brow furrows as he thinks, his fingers raking gently against the skin of your scalp as he hums pensively.

“What do I want?” He repeats the question aloud as he thinks, “I want to be able to provide a good life for Sarah, be there for Tommy, and spend the rest of my life with you.” He says after a short pause before continuing, “As long as that’s not too much pressure on you?”

You feel your heart swell with joy at his words and your bottom lip trembles as you try to control the riptide of emotion crashing through you.

“Joel, I want all of that too, I just…” You hesitate, unsure how to broach the topic. Joel’s hands still, then move to your face, his large hands cupping your cheeks as he looks dotingly into your eyes.

“What? You can tell me.” He says softly as he rubs his thumbs along your cheekbones. You feel your chest tighten as his kind eyes crease at the corners, worry lining his brow.

“I don’t want kids of my own Joel, I love Sarah and would be thrilled to be part of her life, but I don’t want to do the whole pregnancy thing, raising a kid of my own, it’s just not me...” Your voice is barely more than a whisper as you admit it like a sin. Your gut clenches and you feel the subconscious pull of rejection as you prepare for the worst. It wasn’t how you wanted the weekend to end but you couldn’t continue without being truthful to the man you had only yesterday claimed to love.

“That’s what you’re worried about darlin’?” Joel asks as he presses his forehead to yours.

“Of course it is, I want to be with you Joel, I just don’t want that side of things, it’s a deal-breaker for a lot of people, I was worried you’d want more kids, and I wouldn’t be able to give you that.” You say as you squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the hot press of Joel’s forehead on yours. Savouring what could be the last time you felt his skin on yours.

“Sarah wasn’t planned, I wasn’t even sure I was ready to be a dad,” His voice cracks and he clears his throat, “But after her mom passed, I had to be, and I love her with my entire being, but once was enough for me darlin’. If anything, I was worried about the same thing.” He finishes and you pull back, eyes springing open as you search Joel’s face for any hint of doubt.

“I don’t know what to say.” You breathe as tears burn at the back of your eyes.

“Don’t need to say nothin’ just kiss me.” He commands as he pulls you in. The kiss is slow, intimate, your arms drape around his neck as you savour every press of his plush lips against yours. His tongue seeks yours as you part your lips for him, he slides his tongue against yours slowly, seemingly cherishing you with every stroke.

You groan as you feel the press of Joel’s hardening cock against your core, the friction between your jean shorts and his loose khaki’s is killing you.

“Wish you didn’t need to head off for work.” You breathe as you come up for air, your nose rubbing against his as you try and control your breathing.

“I know darlin’, but I’ll make it up to you I promise.” He pulls you flush against him, your head pulled into the crook of his neck as he holds the back of your head with his large, warm hand.

“I’ll hold you to that Miller,” You say as you squeeze him tight, “Guess we don’t have time for a quickie?” You ask, only half-joking as you knew the answer already. Joel’s chuckle rumbles through his chest at the notion and you bury your smile into the warm press of his neck.

“I wish, come on, let’s get you back home.” He says as he places a soft kiss to your temple.

Home.

You realise he meant his home and the thought floods you with a tide of emotions, but the most prominent of them all was a sense of belonging. You stay glued to one another for a few minutes before Joel’s phone starts to vibrate aggressively once more.

“Time’s Up.”

*

Joel’s truck pulls away from the drive as you watch from the porch, Tommy was waiting for you when you got back and explained it was an all-hands-on-deck scenario so he asked if you could pick Sarah up from the drop off at school. You were more than happy to help and Joel had given you the sweetest look as you agreed.

You head back inside and start on the laundry from the trip, making sure to do the darks first. You continue to do small chores around the house, keeping yourself busy, your mind wandering to your dad too often for comfort. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket and smile giddily to yourself as you see the message.

DBF: Hey, thanks for agreeing to pick up Sarah, means the world to me, and Tommy. We’re going to be home late, you ok looking after her tonight?

You shake your head at his message and immediately respond.

You: Absolutely, I adore her, and I think she thinks I’m pretty cool, so we’ll be just fine x

DBF: Of course she does, see you later x

You: Counting the minutes, be safe xx

You scroll through your contacts and find Sarah’s number before selecting the text option.

You: Hey Sarah, your dad and Uncle T had to pick up a job, I’ll be picking you up, that ok?

You pocket your phone, not expecting a response straight away, you know Sarah likes to sleep on long journeys. Then your phone buzzes and you smile at the message on the screen.

Sarah: OMG that’s amazing we can have a girls night!

You: It’s a school night Sarah… But I’m sure we can do something fun. ;)

Sarah: You’re the best, see you soon!

You leave it at that and decide to take a bath, as it’s running you grab your most recent second-hand bookstore find A Wizard of Earthsea. You’d heard people rave about it in college but you were so weighed down with your required reading that you’d given up on reading fiction for fun, favourite plays and Tolkien aside.

You sit on the edge of the tub, wrapped in only a bathrobe as you sink into the Island of Gont. Time passes in the blink of an eye and you catch your bath water before it hits the overflow drain, you smile despite yourself and head downstairs to grab something to drink. You pad through the empty house and find yourself imagining what it would be like to actually live here.

Joel dancing with Sarah in the kitchen as you whoop and holler to encourage them. Tommy would be there, rolling his eyes at his brother, but secretly enjoying it. Barbeques in the Summer, family Christmases with the Millers, full of Winter cheer and snuggling under blankets while you watch trashy Hallmark Christmas movies.

The sound of a car door slamming outside breaks you out of your sickly-sweet daydream. You hear your name slurred from the street and you feel tendrils of fear wrapping around your lungs.

Pop.

You dash to the front door and quickly secure the lock before turning on your heel to check the back door to do the same. As soon as the house is secure you bolt back upstairs, locking yourself in the bathroom, just in case he still had a key. You prayed to whatever deity was listening in that he didn’t.

Your name rings out once more as you hear the front door rattle as he tries to force entry. He either doesn’t have a key or he’s too drunk to remember. You sink to the floor of the bathroom, back to the door as you bury your face in your knees, arms looped around your shins as you try and wait it all out. The familiar tightness of a panic attack grips you. The feeling of everything being all too close yet nothing feeling within reach paralyzing you.

Memories flash before your eyes as the unsettling feeling of déjà vu gathers over you like a mist. Ten years ago you had been ushered into the bathroom by your mom, ten years ago you sat like this, in an almost identical room. Back then you had cried, sobbed as quietly as you could as you tried to block out the sounds of your father’s drunken rage.

Now, you were silent, fury and fear battling inside you like titans as you force yourself to count to ten, with each number you press a finger to the thumb on each hand, following the sequence of index, middle, ring, pinkie, then back again.

You hear the rush of blood in your ears as you try and ground yourself. The pain in your chest comes from nowhere and you can’t breathe, you count the tiles in front of you, continuing your finger touch grounding exercises as you do. It helps a little, the tightness in your chest easing as you centre yourself.

I am safe, I am strong, I can do this.

You think as you continue to follow the processes the therapist back in LA had taught you. Slowly the roaring in your ears fades and your breathing becomes more even, stabilising as you calm down just a little. But you’re still trembling, still trying to control the adrenaline spike as you realise the assault on the door was over. You lift your head and listen out to see if he had really gone, minutes pass bay, agonisingly slow as you finally start to feel your mind sliding back into focus.

You’re covered in a thin sheen of sweat as you rise on shaky limbs, your jaw hurts and you want nothing less than to immerse yourself in the steaming bath but you didn’t want to waste the hot water. The scent of your own sweat overwhelms you and you plunge into the scalding water without a second thought.

You stew in the tub, chin on your knees as you force yourself to keep reading the book that had only minutes before entranced you. It was hard, but you promised yourself you could stop after five pages, that’s all you had to read. So you did, the steam curling around you, the smell of a well loved, but aged book at the forefront of your mind. Then you laughed, something about how Le Guin described a woman with flaws, without degrading her agency was refreshing enough to crack through your brittle mood.

You are engrossed, reading page after page without pause until the alarm on your phone goes off, warning you that you needed to leave to pick Sarah up in thirty minutes.

“Shit.” You swear as the shrill tone startles you and you almost drop the book into the now tepid water. You slot your bookmark, an aged corner of a cigarette packet from when you smoked in your freshman year, into place and place the book on the floor.

Your fingers are pruned and your muscles ache a little from the awkward reading position in the bath but something about you felt lighter. You wash and dry quickly before rushing to your car, not noticing your father sat on the porch, watching you tear out of the driveway at pace.

*

You lean against the hood of your car and wait for the school bus to rock up into the parking lot. It was strange to think that you were on the other side of the high school pick-ups only a few years ago. You remember the day you graduated and the excitement you had for moving out to LA. Sam had no plans, taking a gap year to work and figure her shit out, it was four years later and still, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. But you don’t blame her, and she’s happy, you hope.

You flip your phone open and scroll down to her number. You hesitate for a second but decide to go for it.

You: Hey Sam, sorry I’ve been an absolute flake recently, can we meet up and talk? I miss you.

You don’t receive a response straight away, but then again she wasn’t the type to check her phone often, the irony not lost on you in the slightest.

You check the phone’s digital clock on your phone, ten minutes until Sarah’s bus was due back. You bring up your phone and decide to change Joel’s contact in your phone. Smiling to yourself you text him briefly.

You: Hey, Sarah should be pulling up any minute, hope the job’s going well, see you later x

You slip the phone and your book back in your back as you see the bus pull up early. You feel a soft pull of nostalgia as you watch the kids pour off the bus, the wary lurch of kids who had been forced to endure a long journey with their peers.

I don’t miss that.

You note, rubbing your neck absently as you recall the pain of having your neck shoved against the window by Jenny Felton for four hours on a trip out of state for History class. You crane your neck to see where Sarah is, a small knot of worry gnawing at your stomach as the bus empties but you still don’t see her.

You check your phone, no messages. There are still a few kids filtering out and you drum your fingers on the hood of the car. You had no reason to worry, she texted you earlier, she wouldn’t have been left anywhere the school would have made sure to do head counts.

But this is the first time I’ve been responsible for her, on her own, since I started hooking up with Joel.

You realise there’s a guilt, maybe even a shame clouding your mind as you feel like you’ve betrayed her somehow. You try and shake the feeling as you watch the last few kids hop off the bus. You hear her before you see her, the musical bubble of her laugh easing the tightness in your chest a balm on your nerves. Her tight curls bounce around her head like a halo as she jumps off the last step of the bus. She’s chatting away to a boy a little taller than her with russet auburn hair that fell in long waves to his shoulders.

You watch as she throws her arms around his waist, pulling him in for a tight, familiar looking hug. She hugs just like her dad, and her uncle for that matter, you realise with a smile. For Joel’s often gruff exterior, the Millers were an affectionate family, and a not-so-small part of you hoped that family included you.

Sarah releases the boy and they talk for a few more minutes, you let them take their time. Now you could see her you weren’t in a rush to cut her conversation short. You watch as her friend laughs, a full, unrestrained belly shaker, at something she says. You smirk as she punches him hard in the arm, clearly laughter was not what she was expecting but the boy’s smile doesn’t falter. You see an opportunity and quickly mash out a text to her.

You: You done being all lovey dovey? ;) x

Then you hear a female voice call from the other side of the parking lot, the boy turns and smiles at Sarah before pulling her in for one last hug. This one lasts longer and you see the way she leans into him and you shake your head knowingly to yourself. Sarah watches her friend go before pulling out her phone. She looks up immediately and scans the parking lot before seeing you. Her eyes are wide as she scurries over to you with a mortified look on her face.

“Hey,” Sarah says your name sheepishly as she looks up at you with a grimace, “You saw all that then?”

“Hey yourself,” You waggle your eyebrows teasingly at her and you recognise the trademark teenager cringe on her face as she sighs, “Of course I did, so, what’s his name?” You ask as you wrap and arm around her shoulder.

“Aiden, he’s my best friend.” She says softly as you usher her around to the trunk to stow her bags.

“Uh-huh,” You say in a sing-song voice, “That hug, seemed like a little more than friendly just then.” You say with a barely concealed smirk on your lips. You pop the trunk and move your toolbox and suitcase over to one side to give her room.

“Please don’t tell dad, or Uncle T, I’d never hear the end of it.” She pleads as she hefts her bag into the car. You shut the boot firmly before giving her a sympathetic look.

“My lips are sealed, I remember being fourteen and crushing on a guy,” You say, fishing slightly, already convinced they were an item, “Like I’ve always said, you can always talk to me little Triceratops.”

“Ugh not that again!” Sarah groans theatrically before smiling up at you, “Thank you though, I mean it.”

“Sarah, hon, your dad and T have nothing on me, if that boy so much as makes you sniffle, there will be a reckoning.” You give her a stern look and she beams up at you.

“Oh I count on it, can I watch?” She says with a coy smile and it’s your turn to laugh before pulling her into a tight hug, your head leaning against the crown of her head as you do. She smells like lavender and mint, mixed with the unmistakable stale smell of a long bus journey. You squeeze her tight before releasing her and looking down into her deep, rich brown eyes.

“Hon, you’re going to have a front row seat to the whole thing,” You promise with a jaw aching smile, “Now come on get in the car, we’re getting pizza.”

*

“So, come on, tell me,” You say, mouth full of pizza as you sit on the floor around the coffee table, Freaky Friday in the VCR and two large pizza boxes already half-empty as you continue to grill Sarah on Aiden, “What’s his favourite film?”

“Star Wars: The Empire Strikes back.” Sarah announces proudly as she tears another slice of pizza out of her box.

“Good choice, I’m starting to like this boy.” You say with your best judgemental look, nodding as you hold your chin in your hand. You take a swig from your Coke bottle as Sarah turns the tables on you.

“What about you? You seeing anyone?” Sarah asks and you almost choke on the soda, coughing loudly as you try and clear your throat, “Is that a yes?” Sarah follows up, eyes bright as she scurries closer to you.

“I might be.” You choke out and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as you feel the panic in your voice at the question.

“So that’s a yes,” Sarah says with triumph, “Who is he? Or she?” Sarah raises an eyebrow at you and you smile at the insinuation.

“He,” You qualify with a roll of your eyes, “Is a lovely guy, kind, strong, funny, smart, the whole package.” You say truthfully, thinking about Joel this way always had you feeling giddy, because it was the most wholesome relationship you had ever had, complexities aside.

“You love him!” Sarah says with a sing-song teasing tone to her voice and you feel the heat rush to your cheeks as you can’t deny she’s right.

“It’s a bit early to say, but I do like him a lot.” You say bashfully and Sarah takes your hand in hers to your surprise. You look at her with a questioning smile.

“Well, if he ever hurts you, know I’ll be sure to make his life a living hell.” Sarah promises, a reflection of what you had said earlier as you feel warmth bloom in your chest.

“Who’s life are we making a living hell?” Joel’s voice calls from the hall and you yelp, you hadn’t heard the door open and your heart is in your throat as you try and reconcile the heat pooling in your core with the panic of Sarah finding out.

“Dad!” Sarah squeals and leaps up, leaving you on the floor as you try and keep calm.

“Hey there kiddo, you have a good time in DC?” Joel asks as Sarah throws her arms around him, head pressed against his chest. He looks at you over the top of her head, cheek dimpling as he smiles at you, eyebrow cocked questioningly at you. You just shake your head, the smile on your lips enough to sate his curiosity for now.

“Yep, but back to the matter at hand,” Sarah says as she turns her head back to you, eyes on fire with devilish glee, “We were talking about someone’s boyfriend.” Sarah says pointedly at you and you feel the bloom of embarrassment reach the tips of your ears as you try to keep a straight face.

“Oh, you got yourself a boyfriend now darlin’?” Joel drawls, playing along as his eyes dance with glee. You were going to make him pay for this.

“I might, but what business is it of yours Mr Miller?” You quip, biting the inside of your cheek as you try not to let your tone come off too flirty. But you see the flash of excitement cross Joel’s face as you speak.

“None at all, just don’t go getting yourself hurt y’hear? I’d hate to see you heartbroken over some silly boy.” He says and your heart clenches with the love you have for this man. Even in teasing he’s pouring his feelings into every word.

“Don’t worry dad, we’ll sort out anyone who hurts family right?” Sarah says and it’s like the floor falls out from under you. The emotional impact of Sarah calling you part of the family is overwhelming and you feel tears burn at the back of your eyes.

“That we will, now go and get washed up it’s past your bed time.” Joel growls warningly at his daughter and she sighs but doesn’t protest. She bids you goodnight before thundering up the stairs to the bathroom. The sound of the shower running makes Joel sigh and he gives you a look that sends shivers down your spine.

“Got yourself a boyfriend now do you?” He says, his voice low, eyes trained on yours as you look up at him from your position on the floor.

“So what if I do Joel?” You purr, playing along as you lean back against the couch behind you. You spread your legs out in front of you as you take a heavy, chest heaving sigh.

“Lucky man,” He says softly as he kneels down next to you, scooting the coffee table aside to get better access, “So, this boy,” Joel hums as he shifts to a sitting position, his right leg bent at the knee, the left stretched out in front of you, “He take good care of you?” He breathes as his left side buttresses against the sofa, his arm snaking around you as the fingertips of his right hand trail against your knee, brushing against the bare skin just below the hem of your shorts. You look up into his dark eyes, his lips open slightly as he rakes his gaze over you.

“Might just be the best fuck I’ve ever had, Mr Miller.” You whisper, careful to keep your voice down even though you can still hear the sound of the shower loud above you.

“Is that so?” He groans as his hand trails up your inner thigh, pushing under the loose fabric of your shorts, brushing against the tender flesh just below the fabric of your panties. Your breath hitches in your throat as the sensation practically burns your skin. You shudder at the contact, your hips bucking slightly as you watch Joel’s plush lips curve up into a wicked smile.

“Missed you.” You breathe, you ache for him as you try to close the distance to meet his lips but the sound of the shower turning off above you has you both jumping back, contact severed as you both bolt upright. You give Joel a sheepish grin and he returns it in kind.

“Missed you too darlin’, you all set up in the office?” He asks, his hand taking yours gently in his, his thumb rubbing gently against the base of your own.

“Yeah, I gave Sarah an abridged version of the situation and frankly, she was just excited that I would be around more.” You say with a soft chuckle, you’d always loved Sarah, but the last few weeks had only nurtured your affection for her.

“No surprise, you’re all she talks about when she’s not focused on debate or gymnastics.” Joel says and you squeeze his hand gently before placing your hand on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heart thrumming under your fingertips as you focus on the steady rise and fall of his chest.

“Then let’s make sure we don’t fuck this up yeah?” You say as you see the same fear in Joel’s eyes that you held in your heart.

“I don’t plan on it darlin’, just gotta do it right.” He assures you as he cups your face with his free hand.

“Good, because I’m here for good Joel, I mean it.” You say and his lips find yours without hesitation, the kiss is brief, cautious, as you both know Sarah could spring out of the shadows at any given moment. But it was full of emotion, of passion and desire, but most of all, it was full promise, of what could be, of what would be.

“Better be heading to bed, you’ve got a busy day tomorrow darlin’.” Joel says softly as he pulls you in close, inhaling the scent of your hair as he presses his face into the crown of your head. His arms wrap tightly around you and you close your eyes, listening to his elevated heartbeat as you feel the tension you’ve been holding onto all day leave your body, as always you felt so safe, so secure in his arms.

“See you in the morning?” You ask, almost meekly as you pray he won’t be gone before you wake.

“You sure will, I’m making pancakes.” He says as he places a final kiss to the top of your head.

“Night Joel.” You whisper as you step out of his embrace reluctantly.

“Night,” Your voice falls off his tongue in an irreverent breath and you have to stop yourself from running into his arms. You turn slowly and head into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before padding barefoot to the back of the house. You shut the door to the study and rest against the door before taking a long gulp of water.  You place the glass down and flop onto the freshly made sofa bed, the sheets smell of the detergent Joel uses, as well as a soft hint of him.

His sheets.

You smile to yourself as you drape the thin sheet over you, the late August heat was beginning to ease off but you always ran hot and tonight was no exception. You’re looking forward to the Autumn, cooler nights, the smell of the season changing, and most importantly, Joel’s birthday. You smile as you drift off, already forming plans for the occasion in your head. You’re asleep before you know it, dreams full of domestic bliss, and a sense of hope.

*

The smell of pancakes wafts through the house as you shower, you hear your stomach gurgle as you towel off and slip into your work overalls. Harold had promised to have some new ones ready for you by the end of the week, so you proudly wore your Diego’s denims for now.

“Hey T, how’s it going?” You hear Joel ask his younger brother as you jog down the stairs, scooping up your steel-toe cap boots as you go. He must have come in while you were getting ready, you prepare a bright smile for him as you round the corner into the kitchen, but Joel’s face stops you dead as you lock eyes with him.

He’s dressed in double denim, jacket and jeans and tan work boots, his wet hair is slicked back and you would have drooled at the sight had there not been something important going on.

“Is that so?” Joel’s voice is stone cold as he turns back to Tommy.

“Yeah, he says he’s not going to leave until he sees her-“ Tommy clearly notices Joel’s gaze and he turns to see you, his expression sheepish.

“Hey there hermana, don’t shoot the messenger yeah?” T asks as you feel your mood souring at the implied context to his words.

“It’s my dad, isn’t it?” You ask, already knowing the answer, before waiting for confirmation you turn on your heel, tired of dealing with this pantomime your dad was performing, “I’m going to deal with this.” You say over your shoulder as you stride through the hallway, wrenching the door open as you feel the anger build inside you.

The crisp heat of the morning hits you as you look out over the threshold. The birdsong filters through the hazy air as you look down at your father, standing on the first step on the porch, his face set in a hard line. His dress shirt is untucked, a stain on his chest that if you had to guess was beer catches your eye and you have to fight the twinge of guilt in your chest. He looks exhausted.

But that’s not your fault, he’s the one acting like this, this is manipulative.

You remind yourself, fists balling at your side as you stare him down, not willing to make the first move. You raise an eyebrow at him, daring him to say something, anything, as you stand your ground. You hear the door open behind you and two sets of heavy boots on the porch as the Miller brothers flank you defensively. Joel’s hand presses against the small of your back and Tommy stands firm against your shoulder.

“So which one of them are you letting ruin you then?” Your father’s voice is hoarse and filled with venom as his eyes narrow at the sight of the two brothers, “Or is it both?” He spits and you feel Tommy tense beside you, Joel’s hand fisting in the back of your denims as you try not to scream at your father.

“T, Joel, I’ve got this.” You say with a quiver in your voice, you weren’t sure if it was anger or nerves that had you trembling but you didn’t stop to think. You’re striding down the porch with such aggressive intent that you watch your father stumble back in shock. Joel lets you go just in time to not physically hold you back, but you know he wasn’t happy about any of this.

“How dare you speak to me like that? In front of our neighbours, our friends, like that? What is wrong with you?” You ask, you’re inches from your father now and the smell of stale beer and whisky shrouds him like a miasma. He’s unshaven, unwashed, a mess.

“How dare you? I raised you, put a roof over your head and you come home to jump in bed with one, if not both, of the boys next door, they were like brothers to you growing up. It’s disgusting.” He says and you feel the sharp stab of shame in your heart, you can’t deny that you hadn’t had the same thoughts in the beginning.

“You’d rather me go out and whore around town? Getting dicked by whoever would have me?” You retort, the pain in your heart easing as you realise he doesn’t mean any of it, not really, all he wants is for you to roll over, submit, give into the shame he’d placed on your for years.

“Don’t talk like that, you’re embarrassing yourself, stupid girl.” He spits and squares up to you and you can’t help it but you just laugh, he’s not much taller than you, yet he’s trying to physically intimidate you.

“You’re the one embarrassing yourself Howard.” You say, knowing that you’ve already pushed things too far as his bloodshot eyes go wide.

“Don’t call me that, I’m your father.” He warns and there’s a clarity in his voice that you recognise and it makes your blood run cold. It was how he would talk to your mother when he went too far, when things got violent.

“Why are you here Dad? To just belittle me and shame me into what? Coming home? Apologising for not being your pure little girl who saved herself for marriage? What do you want from me?”

“I want you to start acting your age, and stop being a whore, you should already be married, settled down with kids, not playing mechanic just to get attention from men.” He mutters and you can’t believe what you’re hearing. It was one thing to insult you for your sex life, but insulting the thing you loved more than anything else, that was too much.

“Go home dad, sober up, don’t come around here anymore, I don’t want to know you, you clearly never wanted to know me.”

“No, you’re coming home with me, now.” He shouts and you flinch, the sound shaking something loose in you as you try not to let your focus slip.

“I’ve got to get to work, and drop Sarah off at school, go home dad, sober up, and if you feel like apologising sometime, we can talk. But right now I can’t be around you.” You say calmly as you turn to head back into the house, you couldn’t do this, not now.

“Don’t turn your back on me.” Your father roars and you feel his hand circle your bicep but you jerk away, spinning to face him.

“If I have to call the police, I will, but walk away while you can.” Joel is at your side, you hadn’t heard him approach but you were glad of the backup. You look over your shoulder to see Tommy loitering at the top of the stairs, phone in hand as he waits for a signal from Joel.

“So it’s you, you sick fuck. You’ve got a daughter not much younger than her, I should call the cops on you, you pervert.” You father tries to push past you, his eyes murderous but you cut him off, putting yourself between him and Joel.

“Enough.” You hiss but you misread the situation, before you know it you feel the crack of your father’s fist against your cheek, something in your face makes a sickening crunch and you’re on the floor, knees and elbows scraping against the concrete slabs of the Miller’s footpath. You taste blood as it coats your tongue and your ears ring with the rattling of your brain inside your skull. The world spins and your vision blurs as you try and stand.

 Before any of you can react to the situation you hear your name called from the house and your heart drops to your stomach. Sarah is standing there, looking between the collection of adults with a mixture of confusion and horror as you feel blood trickling down your face.

“What’s going on?”

Chapter Text

Fallout

“What’s going on?” Sarah’s voice drifts down from the porch as you brace yourself on the floor. You head is spinning and you can taste blood, you must have bitten your cheek when the blow landed. You can feel your cheek swelling as blood trickles down your chin, and your hands and knees sting with shallow scrapes from where they struck the ground in the fall.

“Baby girl go back inside.” Joel’s voice is tight with emotion as you look up at him. His face is tempestuous as he glares at your father, his nostrils are flared and the vein on his neck pops angrily against his skin. You feel a wash of guilt overwhelm you as you blame yourself for all of this.

“Joel I’m sorry.” You sob, your cheeks wet with blood and tears as you try and stand. Your vision spins as you push up from the ground and you regret it instantly. Tommy’s strong arms catch you before Joel can react and you see shame on his face as he realises too late you had almost gotten even more hurt by his inaction.

“Darlin’, this ain’t your fault, T can you get Sarah to school? I need to get this one to the hospital.” He says, his tone all-business as he goes into Dad Mode. You’d find it charming if your head wasn’t spinning uncontrollably.

“Sure thing, hey hon, you ok if I hand you over to Joel now? He’s stronger than me anyways.” Tommy attempts a joke and you smile up at him, even though your face burns at every facial expression. Joel takes you gently in his arms, cradling your chin gently as he looks over the damage. Tommy heads back inside to get Sarah, looking back as he hits the top step, concern plastered over his face.

“Your cheek is in pretty bad shape darlin’, definitely need to get it checked.” He breathes, you can see the anguish on his face and you cup his cheek, rubbing your thumb along his patchy beard, enjoying the way it tickles your skin.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to hit you.” He fawns, trying to get closer to you but you hold out an unsteady hand.

“So what? You wanted to punch Joel? In front of his family? His daughter?” You spit, your face aches as you speak but you don’t care, you can’t keep letting him get away with this.

“I was just-!” He splutters, cheeks flushed and lip trembling as he tries to justify his actions but you interrupt him again.

“Just what? Drunk? Jealous? What Dad? What could have possessed you to act this way? And don’t say it’s me, or Joel, neither of us did anything wrong, you were the one to throw the first, and only punch here.” You stare him down, your head still ringing, but you see clearly for the first time in months.

“Please,” He utters your name, “Come home, we can talk about this.” Your father strides towards you, arm outstretched to snatch at your hand, as if he had any right to touch you.

“Howard, you’ve done enough, get off my property or I will call the police, I’m not kidding.” Joel says as he holds you close, pulling you out of your father’s reach, your heart breaks for him. A man he respected and treated like a second father acting like this, harming the people he loved. You can see it on his face, under the anger, there’s a deep sadness in his eyes.

“Don’t you tell me what I can and can’t do, that’s my daughter you’re screwing, you have no right-.” Fire ignites back in your father’s eyes as Joel addresses him directly but you aren’t having it.

“Pop,” You say, clinging to Joel almost possessively, “Please, just go.” You finish, tears in your eyes as you feel the guilt override the adrenaline and anger. You just want it all to just stop, you want to be back at the cabin, back in LA, anywhere but here facing your father.

He hesitates for a moment, clearly not done with you both but then Tommy and Sarah re-appear from the house and Sarah makes a beeline for you, charging ahead of her uncle and your stomach drops as you brace for the impending betrayal-laced, more than deserved, chewing out from the young woman.

“Sarah hey!” Tommy calls out, sprinting to catch up with her as she storms towards you, face set in a hard line. You detach yourself from Joel, preparing yourself for the next round of punishment.

Sarah reaches you and pauses, an indiscernible look in her dark eyes, so like her father’s, before she throws her arms round your waist, pulling you into a tight embrace. Terms prick at your eyes as you return the gesture, hands gingerly placed on her shoulders, trying not to get blood on her clothes.

“I’m mad as hell you didn’t tell me,” She says softly, head buried against your chest, “But I’m so glad you’re the reason my dad is dancing again, you make him happy.” You look down at Sarah with bleary eyes.  

“Sarah we will talk about this after school ok? I don’t want this to be the end of this conversation ok?” You say softly, your heart so unbelievably full with the maturity and compassion that Sarah exudes.

Joel is a really good dad, and she’s such a good kid.

You think to yourself before looking to T who was smiling at you, Joel, and Sarah as you stood together. You wince out a grin at Tommy as the pain in your face starts to grow.

“Come on Sarah, we gotta go.” Tommy says softly and Sarah nods, her tight curls bouncing delightfully as she disengages from your awkward embrace.

“Alright, but you owe me,” Sarah grumbles playfully as she smiles up at you and her dad, “Both of you.”

“Sure thing Babygirl now go, or you’ll be late for school.” Joel says with the softest hint of Dad-voice as he ruffles her hair. She groans and immediately scurries off after Tommy, trying to fix her hair before hopping into the cab of Joel’s truck.

You turn back to tell your dad you’re serious, he needs to leave, but he’s already gone, his car driving off past your childhood home and continuing down the street before turning the corner on to the main road into Austin. Tommy’s truck takes the opposite route, heading via Sarah’s school before, you presume, heading on a job.

“Joel-,” You start but his lips find yours, tenderly, gently as he cups the unharmed side of your face, looking down at you with soft, sad eyes as he pulls away slowly.

“No more apologies, give me your keys we’re heading to the ER to get you checked out.” Joel says as he gives you a look that says he isn’t taking no for an answer. You nod slowly, fishing your keys out of your bag and handing them over. Joel takes your hand in his and you walk over to your car, all the while you can’t shake the feeling this wasn’t over.

*

Hospitals make you nervous, more than nervous, you’re vibrating as Joel rubs the back of your neck gently, his head pressed against your good side, whispering soft words of comfort as his other hand rests on your knee.

“Joel I’m fine can we just go home, please?” You beg, the third time in an hour, and Joel kisses your temple.

“You could have a concussion darlin’, we can’t just ignore this.” He grumbles, managing to sound sexy and dad-like all in one tone which makes you smile, a little tension relieved as you lean into him.

“Just reminds me of Mom, those last few months, the monitors beeping, the smell.” You whisper, squeezing his hand on your knee, fighting back the tears as they sting at your eyes.

“Reminds me of Ash, so I get it.” He responds, lips brushing the skin of your temple as you feel the tension in him for the first time since you got there. You feel ashamed, completely wrapped up in your own anxiety to realise how much Joel must hate hospitals too.

“I’m sorry Joel-,” But he interrupts you, turning your face, gently to look at him. His warm brown eyes trapping you in a no-nonsense stare.

“No more apologies, I mean it, I’ve made my peace with it, mostly, besides,” He rests his forehead on yours, “I’m here way too often to let it get to me anyway.” You look at him with a puzzled look and he chuckles before pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I’m a site manager for a construction company darlin’, and Tommy’s older brother, I’ve been here three times this week and only one of those times was work related.” He chuckles and you feel a genuine smile spread across your lips, the pull on your cheek burns but you don’t care.

“They were all still Tommy though right?” You ask, watching as Joel’s eyes light up in amusement, because of you.

“That obvious?” He asks, his perfect lips fixed in an adoring smile as he soothes the back of your neck with his large hand.

“I mean, it’s Tommy.” You chuckle, almost forgetting where you are until your name is called, you look up to see a young doctor giving you a smile. She’s a little older than you, bright blonde hair pulled back in a a high bun, her ice-blue eyes friendly as she looks you over.

“Joel?” You ask tentatively before you stand, the nerves all to clear in your voice.

“I’ll be right here darlin’, don’t you worry.” He says as he gives your neck another gentle squeeze before releasing you.

“Love you.” You whisper and the warmth on his face could melt permafrost. You preen as you feel the pride that it’s you that makes him smile like that, even in the state you’re in right now.

“Love you too.”

You follow the doctor to a gurney in the main examination room, she shuts the blue-green geometric patterned privacy curtain behind you and you stand, facing her as she raises an eyebrow at you. Your whole body is rigid, your eyes fixating on the minuscule gap in the curtain, your proverbial way out.

“Not a fan of hospitals?” The doctor asks and your eyes snap up to meet hers, your lips twitching into a nervous smile.

“Not especially.” You say, tone clipped as you fight the urge to just push past the doctor and run.

“Going to need you to sit down on the bed please.” She gives you a hard look, not unkind, but it wasn’t one to be argued with. You sit, legs dangling off the bed as the doctor gives you a kind look.

“Before we start, I have to ask, it’s policy, but your boyfriend out there? He do this to you?” She asks, clipboard in hand.

“No, it wasn’t him, the punch was intended for him though.” You chuckle humourlessly.

“He putting you in dangerous situations?” She presses, and you sigh.

“My dad hit me.” You say softly, bowing your head, tears forming in your eyes as you finally allow the reality of it all to sink in. The doctor pulls a chair over and sits down in front of you.

“I see.” She makes a note and you grimace.

“Can you please just check me over so I can get to work?” You plead, picking at one of the scabs forming on your right palm.

“Alright, but there are resources out there if you ever need them.” She says softly before looking you over. She checks you over for a concussion before calling for a nurse to patch up your cheek, hands and knees. The whole appointment goes by in a blur and you walk back out into the waiting room on autopilot, until you see Joel.

Joel stands as soon as he sees you, you rush into his arms and breathe him in, trying to muffle out the sterile smell of the hospital as you press your uninjured cheek against him.

“What’d the doc say?” Joel asks as he wraps his strong arms around you, chin on your head as he sways softly.

“Mild concussion, got some stitches, tried to give me oxy but I said no.” You mutter , fisting your hands in Joel’s flannel, even if it did rub against your bandages.

“Smart, oxy’s a nasty thing to get addicted to.” Joel hums into your hair.

“Yeah, and I’ve already got one addiction on the go.” You tease, pulling back to look up into Joel’s curious eyes.

“Oh and what’s that darlin’?” Joel asks, still swaying with you in his arms, you can hear the amusement in his deep rumbling drawl as he smiles down at you knowingly.

“I think you know, Miller.” You grumble, smiling sweetly up at him through your lashes.

“Might need a reminder.” He teases back as he bends down to place a soft, lingering kiss on your lips.

“Be sure to show you later.” You whisper against his lips as you cup his face with your hands, the bandages cutting off the usual scape of his patchy beard on your skin.

“Looking forward to it, want me to drop you off at home?”

“Need to go to work Joel, it’s my first day.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Joel’s brow knits together in a grimace and you smile at him, you love that he cares so much, but you were not going to miss your first day of work.

“I’d rather show up and Harold send me home than not show up at all on my first day, besides, I need to get some badass points with the guys, turning up looking like this?” You say, gesturing proudly to your stitched up cheek and ripped knees on your overalls, “Instant badass.” You wiggle your eyebrows at Joel playfully and you can see the smile threatening to break through his stern expression.

“Good to know your sense of humour wasn’t damaged in the fall,” He grunts before shaking his head in defeat, “Alright, but I’m driving you, and borrowing your car for the day, I’ve got to make it across Austin for a job and T has my truck.”

“Deal, I can get a lift home if you’re still on a job when I’m done.” You say as you reluctantly disentangle yourself from his warm arms, threading your fingers through his as you walk out to the parking lot together.

“Shouldn’t need to, job’s almost done, but I’ll let you know ok?” He says, squeezing your hand gently, trying not to hurt you.

“Sounds good, and Joel?” You say, looking at him as you reach your car.

“What?” He looks down at you with a half-smile, his cheek dimpling as you feel warmth skitter across your skin.

“I’m really sorry this morning was such a shitshow,” He makes to protest but you hold up your free hand to shush him, “Let me finish,” You say and Joel nods stiffly before letting you continue, “I want to have a proper talk with Sarah later, I want her to know this is real, and I want her to be one hundred percent on board with this.” Joel’s face softens and you see the sheen of tears in his eyes as he beams down at you.

“I want that too, Christ, what did I do to deserve someone so wonderful?” You know his question is rhetorical, but you can’t help but answer.

“You‘ve made me happier than I ever thought I could be Joel, that’s what.” You say softly and the look on his face makes you feel like your heart might explode. His dark caramel eyes wide and glassy as his cheeks dimple in the widest smile you’d ever seen on Joel’s rugged face.

“Well, I hope that continues darlin’, because I want to make you happy for the rest of your life.” He says as he kisses you once more, hungry but tender, hot yet emotional, your lips linger against his for as long as you can justify before shooing him to get into the drivers seat.

“Good, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.” You say softly as you slide into the passenger seat.

*

“Shit Chica, what the fuck happened to you?” Gus calls from across the garage as you slink into work, you were already regretting the decision to come into work, you ache from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Everything fibre of your being hurts.

“Took a punch for someone who didn’t deserve it.” You grumble, heading straight for Harold’s office where you can see him, back to you as he paces while shouting down the phone.

“Didn’t think you were going to show-,” Arnie stops mid-joke as he sees your face, “Shit, they got you good, you get ‘em back just as good though right?” He asks, already stepping into your personal space as he takes a better look. The familiarity is a little startling but you appreciate the rate at which the guys had already taken to you.

“More than you think.” You laugh without humour, knowing that even if you didn’t strike your dad, he’s hurting more now than any physical wound you could inflict.

“That’s the spirit,” Gus says as he slaps you gently on the back and you wince at the pain from your cheek as you grin at the two men who had already accepted you into their fold, “Harold’ll be cool with you being late on your first day once he sees you, might even order a hit on the person who did it.”

“A hit?” You ask with a bemused smile and Arnie answers you without missing a beat.

“Harold’s old school Mafia don’t you know?” He boasts, his eyes shining with excitement.

“And now he’s a mechanic in Austin, Texas?” You ask, your brows arched in disbelief.

“See that’s the thing, perfect cover, you get out of the life, move to somewhere like Austin, or Tulsa, perfect place to lie low and live the good life.” Arnie continues, enthralled by the artful story Harold had clearly built for himself.

“You know the Mafia doesn’t exist anymore right?” You laugh, passing Arnie as you make a bee-line for Harold’s office door, “Can thank Rudy Guiliani for that!”

“Pff, that’s just what the government wants you to think!” The Brit calls after you as you knock gently on the office door. Something about the gentle banter and lack of judgement makes you feel

“Just a sec!” Harold calls from within before continuing his tirade over the phone. You wait patiently, the soothing smells of engine oil, transmission fluid, and the metallic tang of grinding wheels fill your senses. It’s a brash, blunt perfume that brings a feeling of calm to your fractious mood.

“Right, what?” Harold growls as he wrenches the office door open. He blinks once, twice, eyes flicking from the holes in your overalls to the angry stitches on your cheek.

“Hey Harold, sorry I’m late, I’ll stay behind and make up the hours.” You say with an apologetic smile.

“Fuck Chica, what happened to you?” He asks, gesturing with his broad hands for you to come into his office.

“Family drama, dad’s a bit of an ass.” You shrug, shutting the door behind you with a soft click.

“Your pop did this to you? What in Jesus’ name is the world coming to?” Harold says, running his fingers through his thinning hair as he perches on the edge of his desk.

“Is what it is, family is never easy.” You shrug and Harold gives you a soft smile.

“Ain’t that the truth?” He asks rhetorically before continuing, “You need someplace to stay? I have an empty apartment a block over, wouldn’t expect rent from you, but it’d be temporary until you got your own place, or I got a new tenant?” Harold says with conviction.

“Harold you barely know me, why?” You ask, surprised he wasn’t chewing you out for being late.

“I called Diego’s in LA, seems you’re a real asset, Santi was sad to see you go, told me what he offered you to stay.”

“Yeah, it was tempting.” You shrug, Diego, or Santiago Diego Ferreira as you knew him, was one of the kindest men you’d ever met, and helped you become a great mechanic, but you wanted to come home for your dad. Something you regretted ever since you stepped through the front door.

“I’ll leave the key in the top drawer of my desk if you ever need it. It has a separate shower and tub, and I’ve just had the kitchen redone, it’s pretty nice.” He says with a kind smile and you can’t believe the kindness you’re being shown.

“Why’re you doing this Harold?” You ask again, wary of any catches or conditions that might get stumped on you.

“I was friends with you mom hon, I didn’t connect the dots until I called Santi, but of course you’re Stella and Howard’s kid, you have her eyes.” He says with a sorrowful smile.

“Yeah, I’ve been coming to terms with a lot of stuff recently, mom kept a lot of things to herself, I get it now.” You shrug. 

“Stella was a fiercely independent woman, I only found out towards the end…” He trails off, seeing the sad smile on your face as you think about your mom, “Why don’t you take the week off hon, I know you’re good for the work, I’ll even pay you, just look after yourself yeah? And consider the apartment, I really would like to see it put to good use.” He offers and you smile to yourself.

“Can I at least do some admin? Something menial? I don’t like being idle.” You beg and Harold smiles at you knowingly, as if he’s remembering something funny~sde.

“Alright, I’ll get some stuff for you, get comfy at the desk, I’ll be right back.” Harold says as the door closes behind him. You breathe a sigh of relief as you pull out your phone. Sam still hasn’t gotten back to you, you feel like you deserve it, and that’s ok. Joel had though and you smile.

Joel: Hope he sends you home in a pre-paid cab, if not, I’ll get Tommy to pick you up later, got a surprise for you.

You smile giddily at the message as you hear Harold coming back, stowing your phone before the door opens. He drops two stacked boxes of receipts and old log books on the desk and you grimace.

“Right, I need these sorted asap, make sure all our books are up to date, Diego said you chewed him out for the state of his books on your first day, figured you’d be able to handle mine.”

“Sounds good to me, but once my hands are healed I want to be working on cars, deal?” You eye Harold with as much confidence as you can and he smiles. You hate admin work like this, but you can’t deny that you’re good at it, having gotten Diego out of hot water with the IRS in your first year working with him.

“Of course doll, I’d have you out on the floor if I didn’t care about your health, get fit and I’ll work you like a mule.”

“Looking forward to it, thanks again Harold.” You say as you eye the paperwork with only a little dread.

“My pleasure.” He scoffs, his ruddy face bright as he heads back out onto the garage floor.

*

“Good day at work?” Tommy asks as you buckle your seatbelt, he wraps his strong arm over the back your seat as he reverses out of the bay.

“Not bad, fucking exhausted, starving.” You breathe as you rub your temples with your fingertips, you’d developed a headache around lunch, the books were in a worse state than you’d feared but you had made some serious progress. Harold was thrilled and thanked you for your work before giving you a set of keys to lock up with.

“They didn’t have you working on the cars with your hands all banged up like that did they?” Tommy asks, a protectiveness to his tone he usually reserved for Sarah.

“Not for lack of me trying,” You say with a huff and Tommy meets your gaze in the rearview mirror, his look of disapproval warms your heart, “I’ve just been doing office stuff, I swear.”

“Alright, I believe you.” He says with a dazzling smile and you close your eyes for the rest of the journey home. Tommy hums along to whatever comes on the radio and you’re grateful he doesn’t feel the need to make small talk. You’d always gotten on with Tommy, he’d shown you how to roll your first joint, and even bought you weed through his dealer, much to Joel’s disapproval.

You’re back at the Miller’s house in no time, your late shift meaning you’d missed the worst of the traffic. The lights of the Miller residence are off and you look at Tommy who is trying not to smile, but you can see the light dancing in his eyes behind the straight face he was attempting.

“T, what’s going on?” You ask, too tired, too sore to be jerked around.

“You’ll see, stay put, Joel wants to talk to you before you go in.” Tommy says and you go to protest but he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Fine,” You grumble, “But I’m getting out of the truck.” You say, already pushing the door open, appreciating your own handiwork as it shuts behind you without protest. The warm evening air oppressive against your sweaty, greasy skin. You may not have worked on the cars today, but you couldn’t escape the ever-present grime when working in a garage.

You tap your foot impatiently as you watch Tommy sprint up the path, clearing the porch steps in a comically large leap. You chuckle to yourself, hoping Tommy never loses his boundless enthusiasm. You keep your eyes trained on the Miller residence, not wanting to even risk seeing you father in the house across the way. You’re about to give up when your phone buzzes. You flip it open and feel the familiar rush of butterflies in your stomach when you see who it’s from.

Joel: Come on through to the garden, use the side gate. X

You don’t respond and have to stop yourself from sprinting up the path, your knees still a little too sore. You wish you had the chance to shower but something about the cloak and dagger act had you buzzing with excitement so you didn’t mind too much.

You approach the gate and take a steadying breath before pushing it open. The garden is dark, pitch black as you find your way from memory alone, knowing the Miller’s yard like the back of your hand.

“Joel? T? Sarah?” You call into the darkness and you hear a muffled shhh which only makes your cheeks burn with how hard you’re smiling. You step through the side alley and into the main garden. You hear a noise behind you and before you can react a familiar pair of hands grab you by the waist. You squeal as Joel pulls you back against him.

“Hey there darlin’, going to cover your eyes for a second you trust me?” His voice is low, ghosting against your ear as his hands ghost over your ribs before settling on your shoulders.

“I trust you Joel, with anything.” You sigh, the press of his strong hands, warm and comforting already easing the stresses of the day.

“Good, now,” He says, his lips leaving feather light kisses against your neck as he hums against your skin, “Let’s go.” He nips the curve of your ear before his hands move to cover your eyes gently, making sure to keep clear of your stitches. He starts to walk forward, urging you on and you can’t help but giggle with anticipation.

“You two ready?” Joel calls over your shoulder and there must have been a non-verbal cue as Joel removes his hands, placing them back on your hips as he whispers in your ear.

“Welcome home darlin’.” You blink rapidly as your eyes adjust to the now brightly lit yard. Fairy lights line the fences and hang from the wooden patio canopy, illuminating the dining table that had been dragged out from the house, covered in a linen tablecloth with songbirds embroidered into the fabric. Candles flicker along the table length, four places are set and you look over to the back porch to see Sarah practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, Tommy’s smile is infectious and you feel like your heart might explode.

“Joel, I don’t know what to say, thank you.” You breathe, your bottom lip trembling as you try to hold back the tears of joy spilling from your eyes.

“Wasn’t my idea, s’all Sarah.” He grins down at you as you look up at him over your shoulder.

“That I can believe.” You say with a wink and Joel shakes his head in mild disbelief, smile not leaving his lips as he steers you over to the table. Sarah and Tommy join you as Joel tucks your chair in behind you before heading into the house. You watch him go, his plain t-shirt stretched against his broad shoulders, his cargo shorts putting his muscular calves on full display. You’re hungry for this man in a way you haven’t known before and whilst that would have frightened you in the past, it gives you a great satisfaction knowing he feels exactly the same.

“What did I do to deserve all this then?” You ask, looking pointedly at Sarah.

“Couldn’t have you move in without a proper welcome party, plus I thought you might need it after this morning.” Sarah says with a shrug.

“Hey, about that, I’m sorry you had to see my dad like that.” You say softly but Sarah shakes her head, sending her curls bouncing about her face.

“You did nothing wrong, and if you hadn’t stepped in he would have hit dad, and I think that would have turned out worse for everyone.” Sarah says with a straight face and you can’t help but see the sadness in her eyes.

“Alright, but I want you to know I wanted to tell you, we just weren’t given the chance.” You say in earnest and Sarah rolls her eyes dramatically at you.

“Oh come on, I’ve known for weeks, you can’t keep your eyes off one another.” Sarah sighs as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I mean, yeah, you guys weren’t subtle hon.” Tommy chimes in and you feel heat rushing to your face as the embarrassment burns across your skin.

“Jesus you two.” You huff and at that moment Joel comes back out with a bottle of red wine in one hand and three glasses in the other, his large hands cradling them with ease.

“Everything ok out here?” Joel asks, giving you a questioning look.

“Sarah’s just telling me how we didn’t hide our affections well, at all.” You say with a grimace and Joel exhales through his nose as he puts down the bottle and glasses, shaking his head in amusement.

“I suppose not, Jesus, sorry baby girl.” He says but Sarah just beams at him.

“No need to be sorry, you’re just both going to owe me for the rest of your lives is all.” Sarah says sweetly and Joel fights back a laugh as he looks to you, adoration glistening in his gaze.

“Alright smart-ass, come and help me get dinner.” Joel barks at Sarah but she gets up without complaint and it’s just you and Tommy out on the patio under the twinkling lights.

“How’re you feeling about all this T? You still as happy as that day at the cabin?” You ask, turning to look at him.

“Hermana, I meant it when I said you’re family. I just wish your dad wasn’t such an asshole.” Tommy says with the most Tommy-shrug in the world, as if nothing ever bothered him.

“Pendejo.” You grumble under your breath as Joel and Sarah re-emerge with trays filled with food.

“Right, so I couldn’t decide what to make so I got Sarah and Tommy to help, we all made something we love.” Joel says excitedly.

“Didn’t you have work? And Sarah, did you skip school?!” You protest, eyes wide as you see the smile on Joel’s face.

“Tell me you didn’t skip school for less important shit?” Joel challenges you and you smirk, knowing you can’t.

“You got me, so what’ve we got?” You ask as you look at the piles of food, way too much for the four of you in one sitting. Your stomach growls angrily and you smile to yourself.

“I made you chilli, like a real Texan,” Tommy says with pride, “There are chips and rice to choose from to accompany it.” You eye the urn of chilli on the table and wonder how many people Tommy intended to feed, at least twenty by your estimation.

“I made pasta al forno, my home economics teacher got us to make it last semester, but I made it spicy.” Sarah says with pride as you look at the gooey mess of baked pasta still in the glass baking dish.

“And I made you an authentic carbonara, and garlic bread.” Joel says with a smile.

“No steak?” You tease.

“Not tonight, need some more time to prep a good one, need to get my sous vide cooker out and make some magic happen but I will, next time, I promise.”

“Hmmm ok Miller, come on lets eat.” You say and the four of you portion out food and drink until you forget about the drama of the day.

You spend the next few hours eating and drinking your fill, wrapped up in the gentle banter and teasing you loved from the Millers. It feels like a dream, a bubble ready to be burst, but as you stand over the sink, washing plates after shooing everyone else away, you realise that it’s all real.

You wanted the time to think, but you also wanted to return the generosity of having so much delicious food prepared for you. Sarah was upstairs on the phone with a “friend”, you know it’s Aiden and it makes you smile how smitten she seems to be.

“How you holdin’ up?” Joel drawls as he crowds you from behind, his arms wrapping around your waist as his head comes to rest on your shoulder.

“Honestly?” You say with a breathy sigh as you release the plate in your hands, porcelain slipping into the soapy waters of the sink, “I’m doing better than I thought.” You admit, leaning back into him, shuddering at the way his lips press against the crook of your neck.

“Good, you want to ditch all adult responsibility and leave all this to soak?” He grumbles, nipping at the lobe of your ear.

“Oh good, I can’t wait to just pass out on your office sofa-bed.” You tease and you feel the rumble of Joel’s chuckle through your chest as he squeezes you close.

“Whatever you want darlin’, but I’d rather you in my bed.” He purrs and you whine at the way he hums against your skin as he sucks a longing kiss into your shoulder.

“I’d like that too,” You hum, “Take me to bed.”

Joel wastes no time, spinning you around as he scoops you up in his arms, you wrap your legs around his hips before raking your fingers through his soft curls. His lips finds yours like a moth to a flame, pressing his tongue into your mouth with fervour as he carries you up the stairs. He licks into you, pulling at your bottom to elicit the soft mewls from your mouth as he kicks the door to his room shut behind him. Joel sets you down on the bed and you regret more than ever the lack of a shower after work.

“Joel I’m filthy.” You whine, the ache between your legs making your voice breathy but you don’t care.

“I mean, yes, you are,” He chuckles as he starts to peel off your overalls, fingers brushing against your shoulders, down to your ribs, ghosting along your hips, “Want to take a shower with me?”

“Sounds perfect.” You hum as Joel scoops you back up into his arms, carrying you to the en-suite. He sets you down gently as he fiddles with the faucet, getting the pressure and temperature right. You watch the way his arms flex as he strips in front of you, you marvel as the muscles ripple under his tan skin.

“Come on let’s get you cleaned up.” He hums as he holds his hand out to you. You take it eagerly, relishing the heat as you melt into Joel’s arms. He lathers up a washcloth and takes his time cleaning you up. It’s intimate without being sexual, he’s taking care of every inch of your skin, gliding up your hips to your belly, up and over your breasts with care and adoration. But you feel the rush of it all regardless, you want so much more.

“Joel.” You whine pathetically as he continues to massage at your tired muscles, washcloth discarded at your feet as he savours your body with his hands. The hot torrent of water against your body combined with the press of his fingers against your skin is dizzying, you feel so free.

“Feeling clean enough to get dirty again?” He hums, his dick pressing against your thigh as he holds you close. You nod as the hot water cascades against your bodies.

“Joel,” you whimper, skirting your fingertips up his ribs and to his chin. You marvel at the way he shudders under you, “Take me to bed.” You breathe against his bare chest. He shuts the faucet off and roughly towels you off, placing soft kisses to your dewy skin.

He throws the towel in the wash bin by the door and scoops you up in his arms before striding to the bed, throwing you down a little roughly. You bounce on the bed, looking up at Joel as water droplets cascade from his hair as he pins you down, caging you in his limbs. You arch up into him, your legs spread instinctively as he slots between your hips like you were made for one another. You feel his hard length as it rests heavily on your mound and you buck up against him, desperate for the friction against your aching clit.

“What do you want me to do baby? Tell me how you want it, what you want.” Joel whines as he places hot, wet, kisses to your cheek, your jaw, your neck. His mouth falls to one of your breasts, his hand palming the other as he begins to lick and suck at the hardened peak of your nipple. You keen at the tight pleasure as he nips gently.

“Want to ride your face,” You moan and Joel stills, eyes flicking up to meet yours with lust-blown eyes, “Please.” You mewl and he growls against your breast, only making you more desperate.

“So fucking hot,” He says as he releases your nipple with a lewd pop, “C’mere.” He says as he wraps his arms around you before rolling onto his back pulling you on top of him. You smile down at him, taking a moment to admire the man you were straddling. His curls fan out on the pillow he’s resting on.

He needs a haircut.

You think to yourself as you lean down to place a soft kiss on his strong nose. His hands squeeze your hips before moving to palm your ass.

“What you thinking about darlin’?” He asks softly as he rubs his thumbs along your skin, back and forth, soothing as he looks up at you with silent reverence.

“Just how beautiful you are.” You say softly and Joel’s cheeks flush.

“Ain’t been called beautiful before.” He grumbles and you feel your cheek burn as you smile at his bashfulness.

“Well it’s true, even if you need a haircut.” You tease and Joel’s chest heaves with a low throaty chuckle before rocking your hips forward with his large hands.

“Come on, want that sweet pussy of yours.” He urges you and you don’t hesitate, gracelessly clambering up his broad torso until you’re hovering over him, trembling a little in anticipation as you suddenly realise just how lewd this position is. Joel’s hips encourage you on, guiding you through your nerves with soft kisses to the inside of your thigh.

“Don’t be nervous baby, sit on me.” He says softly, kneading your ass with his large hands, tugging slightly to encourage you on. You relax your thighs, sinking down as you steady your hands on the headboard. The hot press of Joels thick tongue against your aching hole makes you whine, your left hand flies to your mouth to muffle the sound. You relax fully as pleasure rolls through you as Joel licks a long, slow stripe through your soaked folds and you moan into your hand as he reaches your clit.

“Always taste so good darlin’, could eat you out for hours.” He groans against your clit before taking it between his lips, sucking firmly as he swipes his tongue around the tight bundle of nerves. You rock your hips forward, adding to the sensation of his mouth of your clit. You’re already so pent up that you can feel your orgasm tingling at the base of your spine as you rock harder and faster against Joel’s greedy lips.

“Fuck Joel-!” You moan as you feel your release burst through you. You shudder and rock on top of Joel as he buries his tongue inside you as you come. Joel laps up your spend with his thick, hot tongue as you tremble through the overstimulation.

“Need your dick.” You whimper and you feel Joel chuckle against you as he lifts you up with his strong hands, moving you to straddle his waist. He makes to roll you onto your back but you push down on his chest.

“Like this,” You breathe as he looks up at you questioningly, eyebrow cocked as his cheeks dimple in a broad smile, “Fuck me like this.” You plead, already wrapping your hand around the base of his cock as you line your needy hole up with the tip of his cock.

“Fuck, you’re something else darlin’, so good to me, so fucking hot.” Joel babbles as he takes control, easing you down onto his tip. You squirm at the pleasant stretch and soft burn as he splits you open slowly.

“Fuck Joel, love it when you fill me up.” You whisper, as your eyes roll back as you sink down onto his length.

“Love filling this little pussy up, look how good you take me, look at that pretty pussy taking me so well.” Joel whispers back, trying to keep the noise down as he twitches inside you. You’ve not had his dick in you like this before and somehow you feel even more full, stretched around his thick length as you pant heavily above him. He stills as he sheaths inside you completely, squeezing your ass as he begins a slow, gentle roll of his hips.

“So pretty.” He mumbles as you feel your breasts bounce lightly as his pace quickens. The slap of your skin on his is loud in the quiet of the room and you shudder as you take in the rapturous look on Joel’s face, his jaw tight, eyes blown out as he pants out your name. Your right hand drops to your clit, your left anchoring yourself on Joel’s chest, you swipe deftly through your folds as you ghost the spot where your bodies join.

“Fuck.” Joel says mindlessly as his pace becomes erratic, desperate as he fucks up into you, pounding against your g-spot with deadly precision. You feel your second orgasm come as a slow burn from your belly, spreading through your cunt as you rub delightfully hard circles against your clit. You start to bounce as your climax builds and you watch as Joel’s brow knits tightly as he comes hard inside you. His thrusts are punishing as he ruts into you hard and fast. You come seconds later as you twitch and clench around his cock.

You collapse forward onto his clammy chest and breathe in your combined scents, savouring the ever-present musky, woody smell of Joel and the soft smell of your soap still clinging to you both. Your cheek hurts like hell but you don’t care, your knees and hands are sore but none of that matters right now. What matters is the way that Joel pulls you against him, his soft cock slipping out as your combined spend leaks from you onto him. Neither of you move for some time, the house quiet around you except for the buzz of the TV from downstairs. Tommy must still be up.

“Want to stay in my bed tonight?” Joel asks as he strokes his thick fingers up and down your spine, callouses rough yet pleasant, scraping along your skin.

“I dunno, the sofa-bed is comfortable.” You joke, pressing soft kisses against his chest, heartbeat still hammering away in exertion.

“Mmm don’t think I’m going to let you leave now we’re found out.” He grumbles, tightening his arms around you as you try and slide off him.

“Mmm possessive Joel is hot.” You say as you look up at him through your lashes.

“Good, because you’re mine darlin’,” He chuckles, loosening his arms, “I’m bushed, let’s clean up and get some shut eye.” He nudges you off his hips reluctantly.

“Like it when you call me yours.” You purr as you try not to get come on the bed, sliding off and waddling to the toilet as fast as you can. Joel laughs at the sight of you, following you in as he grabs a fresh washcloth to wipe himself down. You look up and smile at the familiar scene, you sat on the toilet, cleaning up as Joel waits patiently, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey,” You say softly, holding out your left hand for him to take, which he does, enveloping your caller hand with his strong fingers, “I love you Joel Miller.” You finish, squeezing his hand tightly and his lips curve up into a smile as he squeezes back.

“I love you too darlin’.” He responds with a deep, warmth swirling in the depths of his eyes.

You finish cleaning up in comfortable silence before slipping beneath the sheets, Joel lies back and pulls you in against his side. Your one leg drapes over him, your head on his chest as you feel yourself drift into the throes of sleep.

“Oh and Joel?” You mumble, eyes closed as you nestle into his warm body.

“Hmm?” He responds sleepily.

“That Addiction I mentioned?” You whisper.

“Yeah?” He mumbles, sleep thick in his tone which makes you smile.

“It’s you, specifically that beautiful dick.” You giggle and the long exhale from Joel’s nostrils makes you bury your face in his side.

“Get some sleep you menace.” He grumbles, tightening his arm around you before pressing a soft kiss to your head.

“Fine.” You whine playfully before pressing a kiss to his chest, sleep finally dragging you under into a restful sleep.

Chapter Text

A clap of thunder startles you awake, your eyes go wide as you try to remember where you are. A soft grunt from behind you, followed by the press of Joel’s warm, broad chest at your back soothes you instantly.

“You ok darlin’?” Joel mumbles into your hair, the warmth of his breath tickling your scalp as you ease back into him, sighing contentedly as his strong arms wrap around your middle.

“Yeah thunder just woke me up,” You respond bringing one of Joel’s hands up to your lips, pressing a soft kiss to the base of his thumb, “Go back to sleep.” You insist, lowering both your hands to rest over your heart as you nestle back down against him.

“Alright, love you darlin’.” He mumbles as he presses his knees into the backs of yours, moulding around your body perfectly.

“Love you too Joel, so much.” You murmur softly, another arc of lightning splits the sky as you feel your eyes spring open. Thunder rolls above your head and you sigh, you don’t hate thunder, if anything you love it, but you’re a light sleeper so you resign yourself to just waiting it out.

“Hey,” Joel stirs behind you, tugging on your arm to turn to face him, “Y’ain’t gonna sleep while this is overhead are ya?” He asks as you look up into his sleepy caramel eyes, his one hand comes up to cup your face as he gently rubs his strong nose against your own.

“How’d you know?” You ask with a giggle as he dips his head to rub along your jaw, his patchy facial hair tickling you gently as he places a kiss to your cheekbone, being careful not to disturb your stitches.

“Just a hunch, you’ve always been a light sleeper, remember that camping trip at Pedernales Falls?” Joel asks as he rests his forehead against your own, the lingering scent of his body wash and perspiration delightful as you hum happily at the memory.

“Where the raccoons tried to steal Tommy’s snacks ‘cause he got so high he forgot to seal the bag before he passed out.” You giggle as Joel traces patterns up your spine you shiver pleasantly as you let out a deep sigh.

“And you were the only one to wake up, running out with your flip flop in one hand and flash-light in the other to fend them off.” Joel says and even in the low light of the early morning you can see the curve of his lips as he smiles at the memory.

“I saved the chips and the Reese’s Pieces,” You grumble as you jab Joel in the chest with your finger, feeling the heat flood your cheeks as you try and defend your ill-thought out, youthful act of heroism, “Besides I was what, sixteen? I was brave back then.” You say with a melancholic chuckle.

“That you did, bet even a mountain lion woulda run off from that sight, hell hath no fury like a sleep-deprived teenage girl and her flip flop.” Joel continues to tease you as he places a lingering kiss to your brow.

“Tease all you want Miller, I’m a force of nature if you threaten the people I love, or their snacks.” You retort and feel the familiar skitter of warmth across your chest, the feeling only the Miller’s have managed to elicit in recent years. The feeling of belonging, of unconditional acceptance.

“I’m quakin’ in my shorts darlin’.” He hums sleepily as you feel your head droop onto his chest, your eyes closing slowly as you feel his strong arms loop around your lower back, “And for the record, you’re still brave, braver than anyone I’ve ever known.” He adds as he squeezes you gently, pulling you tighter against him. Your cheek burns a little at how wide you’re grinning, butterflies swirling in your stomach at his praise.

Thunder rolls in the distance as heavy droplets of rain drum against the roof. But the noise no longer keeps you awake, the steady thrumming of Joel’s heartbeat combined with the soothing peel of rainfall has you asleep before you can make a witty comment about Joel’s shorts.

Friday

The week went by in a flash, the menial tasks Harold gave you to fill your time filling your days, and settling into the Miller household occupying your nights, Sam text you back and you promised to meet up on Sunday for coffee. You take the key to the apartment that Harold offered, just in case, and he seemed pleased at that.

You pull up into the Miller’s drive as you check the time on your dash, it’s just gone seven thirty. Joel’s truck is already parked up, you’d stayed late to get a beer with the guys from the fridge at the garage. You’d listened to some hip hop and discussed Gus’ love life, or lack thereof, it was nice. It finally felt like things were settling down, and you were welcoming the peace.

You gather your duffel bag from the trunk and the take-out you promised to pick up on the way home, Ramen from Ramen Tatsu-ya, you check the bag and make sure nothing has spilled. You nod to yourself before slamming the trunk and locking up the car. The smell of Ramen and Katsu wafting through the air as you stride up the porch. As you reach the door you look over instinctively, the first time in a week, and see your dad sitting there, watching you.

You force yourself to look away, to not acknowledge him, you can’t give him even a second of your time, or he’ll be right back here, screwing it all up again. You juggle the takeout bag as you open the door, nudging it with your hip to get past the threshold.

The sound of Sarah and Joel laughing hits you like an arrow to the heart, it wasn’t unusual for you to come home to the sounds of joy in the home but every time it hit you like an outer body experience. You feel at home, even if there is a nagging feeling in your gut, like you don’t deserve this.

“Hey there darlin’, you get lost on your way to the kitchen?” Joel’s soft drawl snaps you out of your thought spiral and your breath catches in your throat as you see him. He’s grinning at you as he leans against the kitchen doorframe, arms folded loosely across his chest, one leg crossed over the other as he lets the solid frame support him.

His eyes are dark in the low light of the evening as he gives you a cocky smile, raking his eyes over your dirty, overall-clad form as if you’re wearing nothing at all. He’s had a haircut and a shave, and you can smell the tobacco and vanilla aftershave from down the hall. His plaid pyjama pants and Iron Maiden t-shirt screamed of domesticity and that was hotter than any dinner suit or flannel and jeans could ever be.

“Just saw dad on the way in, rocked me a little.” You admit with a shrug, not wanting to burden Joel.

“Yeah he’s been out there most nights recently, I’m sorry darlin’, I wish I could do something about it,” He says as he meets you at the bottom of the stairs, looping his hand under your duffel bag strap, hoisting it up onto his own before taking the takeout bag from your other hand your shoulders suddenly feel very light and you smile up at him, “Go shower, take your time, food’ll stay warm, we’ll wait for you.” He says as he presses his lips to your forehead. You groan.

“Your moustache tickles Joel, and stop kissing me when I’m covered in grease and oil and god knows what else, it’s gross.” You tease and he chuckles against your skin.

“Can’t help it, just want to kiss you everywhere, no matter how clean or dirty you are.” He says, tone lower, voice barely more than a gravelly whisper. You feign disgust and wrinkle your nose as you pull back from him.

“You’re a menace Joel Miller.” You grumble as you force yourself to climb the stairs.

“That’s rich coming from you darlin’, now go on get clean so I can kiss you all over.” He says with a cocky grin as he slaps your ass, the delightful sting threatens to make you moan but you bite your lip before shooting him a venomous glare. He simply chuckles to himself before heading into the kitchen.

Your legs feel like lead, even if all you had done was admin this week, something about being sat at a desk for ten hours a day was exhausting. You were much more used to a full body workout in a day, not constantly adjusting your posture in an office chair, you swear is old enough to drink, to stop from giving yourself a bad back.

You peel off your clothes in Joel’s bedroom, your bedroom, as you listen to the bickering of Tommy and Joel from downstairs, no doubt instigated by Sarah one way or another. You turn on the faucet and gather up some shaving cream, a razor, and your usual “date night” toiletries, it’s Friday night and you want to scrub the week from your skin.

You exfoliate vigorously before meticulously shaving in your usual routine, then make sure to wash and condition your hair before gently exfoliating your face, doing your best to avoid your stitches. You let the water stream down your tender flesh, washing away the literal and figurative grime of the week from your body and mind. You stay there for some time, fingers and toes pruning by the time you drag yourself out of the shower.

You towel off, letting your hair fall loose as you steal one of Joel’s Weyland-Yutani Corps t-shirts, it’s clean but there’s the unmistakable smell of Joel about it as you pull on some sleep shorts and head downstairs. You pad barefoot through the house into the kitchen where Tommy and Sarah are sat on one side of the island in the middle, Joel opposite them. Sarah’s head snaps up first and you smile at her impatient frown.

“Finally, I’m starving!” She groans as you take your seat opposite her, your takeout container of Shoryu Ramen and side of Yakitori skewers ready for you.

“Sorry I kept y’all waiting, you should have just started without me.” You say with a roll of your eyes as Joel’s hand comes down to rest on your knee, warm, soothing as he rubs his thumb in lazy circles.

“We’re not animals.” Tommy says in mock offence as he points his fork at you.

“Yeah, we have some manners y’know?” Sarah piles in on you and you smile as you prise open the Styrofoam container, the rich, silky smell of the ramen filling you with warmth as you pop open the container with your chicken skewers.

“Alright, consider me scolded, now eat up, this place is amazing.” You grumble as you tear open the packet of the wooden chopsticks you insist on using. Quickly you all fall into silence as you devour the first few mouthfuls of food. Joel’s hand leaves your knee for a short while as he wolfs down a few mouthfuls of his tonkatsu curry. But it soon returns, smoothing over your knee as he steals an appreciative look at you.

Soon enough skewers are picked clean, bowls scraped, and ramen slurped as you let out a heavy sigh. You place your hand over Joel’s larger one and feel the flutter of excitement ripple across your skin, no matter how many times you touch him, or he you, the thrill never wanes.

“I’ll clean up, Sarah, you wanna pick a movie?” You say as you stand, already stacking the takeout containers ready to dump them in the trash.

“Nuh-uh, you bought us food and brought it home, you and dad go and pick a movie, Uncle T and I can clean up.” Sarah says with a wicked smile on her face as she looks between you and her dad. Tommy grumbles at Sarah for volunteering him, but the warmth in his eyes assures you he’s not that bothered.

Joel stands not letting go of your hand as he leads you wordlessly to the sofa, not bothering to actually pick a movie. You flop down next to him, pulling your knees up, tucking your feet under you, as you snuggle into his side. It felt taboo, strange to be so openly affectionate with him but you didn’t allow yourself to linger too long on that feeling.

“‘S nice.” Joel says, voice low as his one hand falls to your knee, soothing the skin with his rough hand, the other arm splayed out across the back of the sofa.

“Yeah,” You agree sleepily, settling against his chest as you remember you were tasked with choosing a film, “Anything you want to watch?”

“I’m easy darlin’, just want to be snuggled up with you.” He says, kissing your temple softly.

“You’re no help,” You groan as you try and decide on something you’d seen a million times so could enjoy it while distracted by Joel’s large arms wrapped around you, “What about Cutthroat Island?” You ask, feeling the comfort of a good pirate movie with a strong female lead.

“Do we even have it?” Joel asks with a dubious look on his face.

“I do, I took it to college with me, watched it obsessively when studying for finals, kept me from going insane.” You admit shyly as Joel gives you a teasing smirk.

“You’re such a geek,” He says as he places a kiss to your shoulder, “And that’s my t-shirt.” He growls and the mock possessiveness in his voice sends a pleasant shiver through you.

“Took you long enough to notice.” You say as you turn to face him, his eyes are chocolate brown in the low light as he leans down to graze your nose with his own.

“Notice everything you do darlin’,” He mumbles against your lips as he glides his hand down your calf then back up to the crook of your knee, “Got me wondering if your legs are the only thing you’ve shaved.” He growls as he kisses you softly, tugging on your bottom lip between his, agonisingly slow, and you stifle a whimper.

“Going to have to wait and see, Miller.” You breathe as you break the kiss just as Tommy and Sarah enter the room with two large bowls of popcorn.

“Can’t wait, how long’s this film anyway?” Joel asks as he makes room for Sarah on the other side of him. His hand drops from the back of the couch to pull her in close, taking the popcorn from her and putting it on his lap. You smile at the way she snuggles into his side, still full of so much love for her dad, even as the teenager phase kicks in.

“Two hours, give or take.” You say with a wicked smile on your face and he glares down at you, brow furrowed.

“That’s longer than I’d hoped.” He grumbles but the frown doesn’t reach his eyes as you press a kiss to his scruff-covered jaw before getting up to find the VHS tape. In no time you’re cuddled back up on the sofa with the opening titles rolling. It’s the kind of moment that if it weren’t the last week of August you’d have loved to drape a throw blanket over the three of you and hunker down. But you’re just happy to be here, with your favourite people in the world, indulging you in your choice of film.

By the time the film is over everyone is asleep, everyone but you. You rescued the bowl of popcorn from Tommy just before it slipped from his grip, Joel’s hands are still firmly gripped on your bowl, your feeble attempts to remove it met with sleepy grunting until you finally gave up.

You grab a throw from the end of the sofa and drape it over Sarah’s feet, her insistence that socks are “foot prisons” meant her feet were bound to get cold as she slept. You place a soft kiss to her head before placing one to her father’s brow. You look at them with a goofy smile plastered on your face as you clear up after you all. Sarah is tucked into Joel’s side, head nestled on his chest as he leans into her, blissfully snoring in harmony together.

You clean up the rest of the coke cans, beer bottles, and snack packets from the coffee table, wondering to yourself where the Miller’s fit it all. You shut off the lights before making sure the front door is locked. You consider heading to bed but you’re not really all that tired, clearly having the least exhausting week of everyone.

You grab another beer and head out to the back porch, shutting the door behind you softly as you aim for the loose board just above the top step. True to form, Tommy still keeps his stash here. You open up the large Tupperware and fish through the contents, picking out a neon pink Clipper lighter some papers and one of the already open baggies of weed. You set an ashtray next to you and get started.

You roll the joint and look up at the glittering stars above you, the light pollution wasn’t as bad as LA so the soft spill of the Milky Way was just visible as you slot the end of the joint between your lips. The buzz of cicadas and the occasional screech of an owl the only other sounds as you listen to the soft crackle of the flint as you light up.

The tip glows bright orange as you take a long drag, letting the high settle over you slowly. You take another before setting it down on the ashtray, blowing the smoke up into the sky, the hazy cloud melting into the night sky, mingling with the Milky Way. You let your shoulders relax, leaning back on your hands as you tilt up towards the sky, continuing to admire the dark sky, strewn with tiny diamonds.

You’re not sure how long exactly you’re sat in the dark when the porch light comes on. You hear the back door open and close quietly behind you, you relight the joint between your lips before turning to see Joel giving you a questioning look. You give him a sheepish grin as you try not to giggle at the way his eyebrow was cocked at you. For such a mundane expression you found it hilarious.

“You got enough left to share?” He asks as he settles down next to you, he wraps an arm around your waist and you lean into his side, humming softly as you exhale before handing the joint to him. He takes a puff before exhaling slowly.

“Sorry I didn’t want to wake you, couldn’t sleep.” You explain, voice quiet as you try to shake the feeling of guilt that had begun to fester as soon as you got home. Joel seems to pick up on it, turning to face you, leaning back against the railing behind him, the spliff still pressed between his lips.

“What’s bothering you darlin’? Come on, you can talk to me.” He says softly as he snubs the end of the blunt out in the ashtray before beckoning with his hands for you to go to him. You feel the warmth flood you as those soft, caramel brown eyes plead with you to open up. You crawl onto his lap, back against his chest as you lean back into him.

“Just feeling like this is all too good to be true, you, Sarah, Tommy, you’ve taken me in without so much of a second thought. Gus, Arnie, Harold at the shop, I’m finally feeling like I belong in so many ways and it’s scary.” You admit with a deep sigh, your lips feel fuzzy as you ramble on, well aware that your inhibitions are shot from the high.

“I can understand that, it’s been one hell of a homecoming for you.” He presses a soft kiss to your temple and you lean into it, the soft press of his lips and ticklish rub of his freshly trimmed scruff making you giggle.

“We should head to bed Joel, got the trip to the Zoo tomorrow.” You say, unmoving as you don’t really want to move, but you know you have to, the trip was as much for you as it was for Sarah. You’d been talking to her about it all week and there was a handling session with some of the animals you were booked in for.

“You’re right, as usual, let’s go darlin’.” He murmurs against the side of your neck and the soft moan you make surprises you both.

“Sorry,” You squeak, heat pricking at the tips of your ears as you feel Joel chuckle, the sensation rumbling through your from behind, “Smoking makes it a lot easier to get me turned on.” You admit as you feel Joel’s cock twitch a little beneath you.

“That so?” He growls as he nips at your earlobe, “Need to take care of that then don’t we darlin’?” You shudder as Joel runs his fingertips along the bare skin of your thighs.

“So smooth.” He hums and you whine at the deep, dark edge to his voice, as if he wants to devour you.

“All for you Joel, and I didn’t just shave my legs.” You breathe as you loll your head back again, Joel’s mouth latches onto yours and his tongue presses into your mouth. You moan as the grip on your thighs tightens as he rolls his hips up against your ass.

“Bed, now.” He grunts as he spanks your ass, making you yelp, then giggle as you leap to your feet, already prancing to the door, heady with desire and the high. Joel catches up to you and pushes you against the back wall, knee between your thighs as he kisses you hungrily again. Your hands trail up his torso, palms flat as you splay your fingers across his chest.

“This isn’t bed Joel.” You tease as you come up for air, breath coming in ragged gasps as he looks down at you, gaze lingering on your lips as he smiles deviously at you.

“Couldn’t help myself, seeing this sweet ass swishing in front of me,” He says as he palms both your cheeks in his large hands, “Just had to touch you.” He hoists you up and your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, his hard length pressing against your core as you drop your head to his shoulder, nipping at the tender flesh of his neck as he carries you across the threshold.

Joel practically sprints upstairs, you giggle quietly in his ear at his eagerness, licking a stripe up the side of his neck, the salty tang of his sweat only making you want him more as you whisper in his ear.

“Use me Joel, want you to fuck me senseless.” He hisses at your words, walking you backwards to the bed and lays you down slowly, he pulls his top off before climbing on top of you, his body weight smothering as he presses down against you, his lips hover above yours as he nudges your knees apart with his own, elbows either side of your head.

“You sure darlin’? Want me to fuck your pussy? Use your wet little hole to get me off?” He breathes, retreating from your eager lips as you try and kiss him. You whine at the denial and pout up at him. His eyes are dark, pupils wide as he licks his lips, waiting for your response. But you’re awestruck by the weight of his body pressing into yours, the dirty words tumbling out of his mouth, the sexy way his lips curve up in a sadistic smile as he speaks.

“Answer me darlin’.” His tone shifts, darker, commanding as you shudder beneath him.

“Please, I need to you fill my pussy with your hard cock, desperate for it Joel.” You pant, his hips grinding down as you speak, his clothed cock rubbing against your core and you buck your hips up to meet his.

“Needy little thing, so fucking desperate for me, fucking addicted to me.” He sneers, one hand coming to cup your chin, his strong digits holding your face so you can’t look away.

“Joel please.” You whine, your pussy aching as he continues to deny you any relief.

“Seeing as you asked so nicely,” He says with a chuckle, sliding down off the edge of the bed before yanking your sleep shorts down, “Want you to come on my face first darlin’, need you nice and wet, stretched out for me.” He says softly as he sucks and nips at the skin of your thighs, causing you to twitch with every swipe of his tongue, every pinch of your tender flesh. You’re still in his t-shirt and make no move to take it off.

He blows softly on your clit before lapping gently, teasingly against your clit, flicking against your throbbing, desperate nub as you thread your hands through his hair, anchoring him to you as he groans against your mound.

“God you’re so wet.” Joel groans as he presses his middle finger into you, suckling on your clit as he fucks into you with fervour. You bite your lip, not trusting yourself to moan aloud as he manipulates your clit. Pushing, pulling, sucking on your bud like it sustains him.

“Joel, I’m-!” You whimper as his second finger stretches you out, his pace on your clit merciless as he continues to build up that blinding fire in your belly, tingling your spine as you feel him nudge at your g-spot, the firm press of his curled fingers blinding as you bite down on your lip.

“Come for me darlin’.” He orders and it’s the last straw, you arch up off the bed, toes curled painfully as you tug on Joel’s hair. He growls into your quivering pussy as you clench around his thick fingers. He continues to fuck his fingers into you working you through your orgasm, thick fingers filling you up as he devours your pussy with his hot, desperate mouth.

“Never get tired of how you taste darlin’, you up for some more?” Joel asks you as he kisses the tender flesh of your thigh, the soft scrape of his blunt facial hair making your shiver.

“Please.” You beg, desperate to have him inside you.

“As you wish darlin’, get on your side, top off.” He grunts as he strips bare for you, his cock leaking pre-come as he pumps his length slowly as you roll onto your side, looking over your shoulder as he kneels on the bed, you pull the t-shirt over your head and fling it into the laundry pile near the door.

Joel looks down at you with a soft smile, contrasting with the dark need in his eyes.

“So pretty darlin’, lemme take this leg,” He asks softly and you obey, loving the tenderness mixed with dominance in his voice, “Let me know if it’s too much, or if it don’t feel good, keep talkin’ to me baby.” Joel encourages you as he gently pulls your one leg over his shoulder, placing his knees either side of the one still on the bed. You’re spread so wide in this position and you get a great view of Joel as he lines up against your core.

“Fuck Joel this is hot.” You pant as he presses the tip into your pussy, the stretch a pleasant burn as you go weak under him. He places a kiss to the inside on your knee as he kneads the flesh of your thigh with one hand, the other falling to swipe gently at your clit.

“Yeah it is, look so good like this, slowly filling up with my dick.” He grunts and the reverberations against your knee has you shuddering as pleasure rocks through your wet heat. He bottoms out in no time, your slick walls practically sucking him in as you clench around him, moaning softly into the pillows as he stretches you out.

“Joel please, fuck me.” You plead and he obliged without a word. He picks up the pace, leaving how mouthed kisses against your knee, nipping at the sensitive skin as he pulls almost all the way out before slamming back into you, and he does it again. Again. Again. Until he’s huffing and groaning as his balls slap lewdly against your ass.

His fingers on your clit speed up and you feel the burst of your release before you even knew you were close, the punishing railing of his cock inside you paired with the way he mumbled broken compliments into your thigh combined into a shattering orgasm that had tears soaking into the pillow as you cry out his name. He shudders as he comes in you, his hips snapping with every pulse of his cock as he buries himself inside you.

Your body is like lead, your mind is fucked-out and the haze of the weed lingering as you whine at the thought of getting up from the bed.

“S’all good darlin’,” He whispers as he slides out of you, heading straight into the bathroom, the sound of the faucet and the slosh of water in the sink telling, “Here you go baby, you were so good, always so good to me.” He coos as he wipes your combined juices from between your legs, making you whine in overstimulation as he brushes your clit with the warm cloth.

“Gotta get up darlin’.” He says softly as he coaxes you out of bed, practically carrying you to the toilet. You pee with a disgruntled look on your face as all you want to do is sleep. Joel laughs under his breath at you as he guides you back to bed.

“You ok?” He asks as he drapes the thin sheet over you both, the night far too warm for anything else. He holds you with your back against his chest, tucked into you as he trails his fingertips over your bare skin.

“Amazing.” You say softly as you let out a deep, contented sigh. You ache but it’s a good ache, one that felt deserved, earned.

“I love you darlin’.” He murmurs as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“Love you more, you’re m’fuckin’ world.” You say, sleep slurring your words as you struggle to stay awake.

“Impossible, love you most.” He presses a soft kiss to your shoulder and all you can muster is a grunt of dissent as you give in and let sleep take you.

“Seems like the whole of Texas had the same damn idea.” Joel grumbles, just loud enough for you to hear as you finally get into the zoo, you’d been in line for over and hour, making sure to hand out water bottles and sun cream to the Millers. Seeing as you were the only one to prepare for Summer in Austin amongst you all.

“Good thing we got up early then.” You remind him, you’d been the first awake, hollering around the house for everyone to get up. You were too excited for this first official Miller family outing and you made it known to them all.

Joel gives you a sideways look, rolling his eyes as he grins down at you. Tommy and Sarah are already running ahead, making a beeline for the Capybaras. You and Joel speed up to keep sight of them, hand in hand despite the oppressive heat of the day.

“They’re so dumb and cute!” Sarah says with a laugh as she crouches down neat the chain-link fence, a large capybara sat on its haunches, chewing on its feed, glassy eyes seemingly seeing right through Sarah as she makes faces at it.

“God I love capybaras,” You say with a chuckle as you watch a pair lazily swimming in their pool further into the enclosures, “D’ya know they’re the largest rodent on the planet?” You ask Joel pointing to the pair in the pool.

“I did not, that’s pretty cool.” Joel says with a practiced nod and approving hum you’d heard him use on Sarah many times when he pretended to be interested in something. You elbow him in the ribs and he flashes you a cheeky smile.

“They chill out with almost every animal they encounter, they’re so large they don’t really have any predators, except big cats like jaguars.” You continue, grinning back at Joel as Sarah manages to wiggle her fingers through the fence to scratch the capybara’s nose. It makes a soft huffing grunt and scoots its butt closer to her.

“They like me!” She roars triumphantly as she continues to dote on the giant rodent. You squeeze Joel’s hand and lean into him, once again lamenting the heat, but you don’t care, you just want to be close to him.

“Alright next stop, the tigers!” Sarah declares and charges off. Tommy gives you both an apologetic smirk as he races off after her. And so the day goes by, hopping from enclosure to enclosure before you reach the avian experience station. You’re a few minutes early but you insisted on not being late. You didn’t want to miss out on this.

“Hey there, you guys the Millers?” The keeper on duty asks as you try to stop yourself from bouncing up and down as you grin like a kid at the woman.

“Yes ma’am.” You say with confidence as you pull out four tickets, one for each of you and Joel pulls you close against him, clearly liking how assured you were with your response. The keeper clips them with her hold punch and ticks your name off the list on her clipboard.

“Excellent, well, I’m Beth and I’ll be your keeper for this session,” She explains, already ushering you towards the enclosure, “We’ve got a few lovely residents for you to meet today, so please follow me!” The four of you follow through to the aviary, the double gate system set up for security made you feel like you were entering a dinosaur enclosure. In some ways, you realise, you are.

“What you smiling ‘bout dalrin’?” Joel asks as your group enters the main aviary, the bursts of colour and flapping wings a sight to behold as some of the more confident residents come to inspect the new visitors.

“Just that this is like Jurassic Park, except the birds hopefully won’t eat us.” You giggle, leaning into Joel as you approach the feeding station in the middle of the dense vegetation.

“So, some of our more confident parrots are already here,” Beth says with a smile as a big white bird lands on her shoulder, squawking at you, a crown of white feathers raising on top of it’s head. You can’t help but smile at the confidence.

“This is Claude, he’s a friendly boy, gentle as can be for a parrot his size so we happily let him meet visitors here.” She explains and Claude crows, a warbling “Ah” sound as he bobs up and down on her arm.

“He’s an umbrella cockatoo, names for this beautiful crest on his head.” Beth explains and you bob your head unconsciously at him and he returns the gesture.

“You wanna give him a scratch?” Beth asks and you nod, stepping forward out of Joel’s protective grip. You hold your arm out for Claude and he eagerly steps up onto your wrist. The weight surprises you, you always thought birds were light.

“He’s a heavy boy!” You say more to Claude than Beth, your voice sing-song and pandering, like the voice you use when talking to dogs and cats.

“Oh this is Henry,” Beth laughs as a bird with seemingly all the colours of the rainbow lands on her, “He’s a rainbow lorikeet, and always the first of his flock to test the waters with guests.” Beth says, a wide smile seemingly a permanent fixture on her face. Then you watch as six more of the birds mob you, two flying to Joel’s shoulders, one to Tommy and the last three settle in Sarah’s hair and on her arms.

“See, I’m an animal whisperer!” Sarah boasts and you laugh at the way Tommy is frozen in place, unsure what to do as the parrots on his shoulders start to nibble on his long hair. Joel is cooing to the one of his right shoulder as it preens his beard, nipping at the end of his nose. You give him a quizzical look and he flushes red under the tan skin of his cheeks.

“Mom’s best friend had two of these, Russ and Yumi, spent a lot of time with them as a teen.” He says bashfully as he presents his curled knuckle to the one, immediately it bows its head to him and he proceeds to rub his fingers on it’s head and neck.

You watch in awe as the man you love bonds effortlessly with one of your favourite animals in the world. Claude nibbles at a freckle on your wrist and you yelp as you turn to look at him. His big dark eyes as he cocks his head innocently at you. You follow Joel’s example and dip a curled fist at the big white bird. He bows his head and you gingerly touch his head.

“Claude’s got a few pin feathers, you’ll feel the little waxy spears, if you roll them gently between your fingers you’ll have a friend for life, he’ll love it.” Beth encourages as you continue to mimic Joel, staying around the head and neck as you do as the keeper instructed, breaking apart the waxy sheaths with your fingertips as Claude tilts his head, eyes closing happily as he makes soft squeaks you can only guess are signs of bliss.

Your half hour slot passes in a blink of an eye and reluctantly you let Beth shoo the birds away from you all. Even Tommy has a wide grin on his face as you leave, forever changed from his avian experience.

“That was amazing darlin’, great suggestion.” Joel says as he checks you and Sarah over for any errant bird poop. You all managed to escape unscathed but you can’t help but smile as you watch Claude climb the chain-link fence, beeping at you as you head back to the truck.

“That was awesome,” Sarah exclaims as she bundles into the back seat next to you, “The tiger feeding was so cool but I loved the bird handling!” She continues and you smile, glad to have chosen the right exhibit to book in to.

“Yeah those little rainbow birds were pretty neat.” Tommy says with a smile on his lips as he speaks.

“Yeah gave me some serious nostalgia.” Joel said with a nod, the smile having not left his face for so much as a second since you got to meet the birds. Your heart swells with pride. Your idea was initially selfish, it was something you’d wanted to do for years, but it had made Joel, Your Joel, so happy.

You pull up to the Miller’s house but before you get out Joel catches your gaze in the mirror. You raise an eyebrow at him and he just grins at you.

“Already Sarah we’re having an ice-cream date, those two have something to do.” Tommy says and Sarah gives you a questioning look but you just shrug your shoulders, as in the dark as she is.

“Hop in the front darlin’.” Joel says and you climb over the centre console the moment Sarah shuts her door behind her.

“See you in a few hours,” Joel says to Tommy and Sarah before backing out of the driveway.

“What’s going on Joel?” You ask with narrowed eyes, excitement and trepidation making your tummy flutter nervously.

“You’ll see.” Joel says with a shit-eating grin and you huff, turning the radio up as you head out onto the freeway.

Almost an hour later, you pull up onto a large plot of land and you still can’t work it out. Joel kills the engine and hops out of the cab before beckoning for you to join him.

“Joel, what’s this all about?” You ask as you follow him out of the truck, he’s opening the gate, a “for sale” sign hanging haphazardly on the steel structure. Then an idea forms in the back of your mind, slowly building as you join him, surveying the land ahead of him.

“Just signed the paperwork darlin’,” He says as he spins you on the spot, holding your arms firm as he looks down at you with a wide, excited smile on his face, “I’m going to build us a home here.”

“Joel, I-!” Words fail you as you wrap your head around it all.

“Don’t need to say anything darlin’, just couldn’t wait to show you, gonna build a big house, gonna have a pool, maybe get some ducks, sheep, maybe even donkeys, just for the fun of it, nothing serious.” He rambles and you feel your heart burst as your love for him grows and grows.

“You did this for us?” You whisper, trembling with emotion as tears prick at your eyes.

“I did this for you, mi Corazón.” He says, as he looks down into your bleary eyes, a soft thumb coming up to brush an errant tear from your cheek.

“Joel, I love it, it’s perfect, I love you.” You say with a shaky voice as you cup his face with your hands.

“Te Amo, mi amor.” He breathes and you fuse your lips to his, the late evening bringing the sound of crickets and cicadas as you pull away from the kiss, excited giggles spilling from both your lips as you rest your forehead against his.

“Te Amo, querida.” You breathe and Joel pulls you against him, smothering you with his larger form and you linger there for what seems like an eternity as the evening light fades to dusk.