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Chapter Text

It was not too long ago when Khalid thought back to the time when life had started giving him scars.

Physical scars were like his prized possessions, ones he wore on his body with pride. Every bullet hole, every slash of a knife, every bruise was equivalent to a medal of valour. Some he was proud of, some he wasn't. Not every scar was the same size, and not every scar had the same cause, but every scar did have the same reason. His cursed fate. Khuda was not too kind to him in his life till now. All he wanted was to regain his lost pride, find his place in this world and define who he was. That's all he asked for. 

He didn't have many scars on him anyway; very few were able to get so close to him to leave a permanent scar on his body. He was the best of the best, after all.

Although it was much different for him during his younger days, at the mere age of 14, getting physically assaulted didn't just leave him scarred physically but emotionally too. And these emotional scars were his shameful vices that he tried to eliminate every second of his life, but they had permanently tainted him. They have altered his mind and made him the way he his. Weak, pathetic and unnaturally resilient. He remembers every single word, everything they said to him and his ammi. He had to physically cover his ears sometimes just so he could shut out those voices. He desperately wants to go and beg everyone not to say those things, wants to plead and ask everyone, anyone, just for one chance. One chance to prove himself and show everyone that he is not the monster everyone thinks he is. And no matter what, he is going to earn that chance. 

Now, at the age of 24, 10 years later, standing in front of the man he considers no less than a God, Khalid cannot help but forget everything and just be in awe of him.

Major Kabir Dhaliwal.

The man who will save him, the man who is his road to redemption, the man for whom he is ready to do anything. As Kabir walked out of the deafening helicopter, suddenly, Khalid couldn't hear anything but silence. The only thing he could do was look at the man. His posture, his confidence, his everything; he was the walking definition of perfection. Not a single flaw in the man; he could do no wrong. Khalid closed his hands into a fist to restrain himself from reaching out and touching the man as he walked past him. He was not worth being touched by Kabir.

Khalid stood straight in front of his two superior officers. He knew that even the tiniest visible flaw in him would make him lose his everything. Everything that he has worked for in order to reach where he is. 

"Tell me you are joking, Colonel." Kabir said, closing his file, his tone indicating just how ridiculous he thought the whole topic was. Unfathomable for him. 

"Thats his performance for the last two years. You know he is as qualified and capable as your teammates." Colonel Luthra was firm with his approach. He knew everything that had conspired leading up to this moment; Kabir's strong rejection of his recommendation and why he was unwilling to consider recruiting Khalid to his team. Khalid was grateful to Colonel Luthra; there were very few people in this world who were ready to put trust and faith in Khalid. After all, his past was closely connected to betrayal and treachery. 

"So?" Kabir raised an eyebrow at the Colonel as if asking 'What does that change?'

"Kabir, this is your unit; you have to make the decision , who you want in your team and how to train them." 

"So this discussion is over then, sir? I don't want someone like him on my team." As nonchalantly he said it, the knife in Khalid's heart twisted deeper. 

"Kabir, Khalid has proven himself time and time again, at every parameter, that he is the best in any given situation. Give me one reason why you think he is not fit for your team?" 

Cold and spiteful eyes landed on Khalid in a sharp gaze. The taller man walked towards him; his expression was stone cold, as if Khalid's mere presence was not worth being in. He was being looked down upon. And in a way, he deserved it. Although he knew that Kabir would much rather never even have this conversation, he still indulged them. "Not one; I'll give you two reasons, Colonel." 

Khalid's heartbeat at that moment was erratic. He knew that, like him, Kabir carried the baggage of his own scars, too, ones that were riddled with his heavy and painful past. But unlike him, Kabir never hid any of his scars. Neither physical or emotional. Moving his shirt collar aside, Khalid saw two deep, healed bullet scars on Kabir's shoulder and chest. They seemed not to hurt anymore, but their truth was the source of a never-ending ache. 

"These are the gifts left behind by his beloved trecherours father." He walked away towards the couch and sat down. "And the worst part of this gift, Colonel, is that I survived. But my buddy, my partner, who stood in between me and his father, he didn't. In fact, nobody from my team survived." The distant look in his eyes was gone, and he suddenly stood up, walking towards Khalid, furious eyes meeting fearful ones. "So then I put a bullet through your father's left eye." There was no sadness or anger in the way he spoke. Arrogance and insult poured from his face. "And just to be safe......in his right eye too." 

It was a lot to take in. Khalid didn't know what he felt at that moment.

"So, with due respect, Colonel, why do you think I would let this son of a traitor be anywhere near me with a weapon in his hands ?" 

It was nerve-wracking to be confronted with something like this. Throughout his life, Khalid was called the "Son of a traitor." Every significant moment of his, he was always recognized by this title but never had it affected him like this. It felt like if he didn't say something; the earth would swallow him whole. If he didn't defend himself in front of the one he admires the most, he would forever be doomed. So with all the courage within him, Khalid spoke.  

"Permission to speak, sir?" He asked Colonel Luthra. 

"Go on Khalid." 

"My baba was a traitor. But how do you think we found out, sir? Ammi suspected it, and she informed the army." Khalid could not stop himself from speaking then. He looked into Kabir's eyes and, with his most earnest self, said. "That's why you have a scar on your body not a shroud covering it."

Kabir shook his head and turned around to walk away from him. But Khalid was not done yet. 

"You see my baba when you look at me, but I am my ammi's son too, sir. Who put her country before anything else, and never regretted it." 

Ammi was Khalid's everything. The only reason for his life was his ammi. And he will be the reason why she will be able to keep her head high and live with pride. He will make sure of that. 

"Leave us, Lieutenant." Colonel Luthra said.

"Yes, sir." Khalid left the room, not knowing that this place, and this man, Kabir, would change everything for him. 

Chapter Text

Kabir knew, deep down, that whatever he was doing was not coming from his rational mind. He was letting his emotional, less intelligent part of him get the best of his judgment. But for some reason, he wanted to trust his heart more than his mind right now. 

Looking at that boy brought back too many memories, painful memories. All these years, he had managed to live without having to bother himself with Abdul Rahmani ever again.

But here comes his son.

Who has the exact same eyes as his traitorous father. The unforgettable horror that Kabir faced because of that man will last him a lifetime. He does not want another bastard infiltrating his team and destroying it from the inside out, along with himself, again. He cannot let it happen again. 

"Kabir, I know this is hard for you, but do you have any idea what does it take for a boy like him, to be able to stand in front of you? He has real guts, Major. He is hell-bent on wiping out the stain on his family's name." Colonel Luthra was not ready to give up on the boy, which frustrated Kabir. 

What is it about him that made the Colonel question Kabir's decision?

"He knows you killed his father yet he came here, spoke to you eye to eye. He wants to train under you, learn from you and prove with everything that he has that, he is not like his father." 

What is it about this boy that makes Colonel believe in him so much?

"People are tested only a couple of times in their life Kabir, but his test in life, is never ending. Now, its your call."

And this made Kabir curious. 

____

Khalid did not know what would happen now; uncertainty loomed over him like a dark cloud, ready to burst into heavy rain any time and take him away from his only chance. He could not let it happen. He was ready to fight tooth and nail. Maybe he should not have spoken, but at this point, he didn't think his saying anything or not anything would make a difference to Kabir.

There was a deep ache in his chest. Being hated by the one he looks up to the most, the one he considers above all, is not the best feeling in the world. It might be the worst feeling in the world, actually. His heart was being crushed under Kabir's hatred of him, and he could not do anything. 

Was he asking for too much? Will he never be worth it?

His train of self-deprecating thoughts was stopped by Colonel Luthra, who stepped out of the office. 

"You're in."

That's all he said.

That's all Khalid needed to hear today.

Everything in him was rejoicing because, finally, he had his chance. 

Kabir had recognized his potential. Kabir thought he was worth it.

"But remember Khalid, this chance, is hanging by a thread. A tiniest mistake and you're out."

Khalid understood this very well. He was prepared for everything and anything. He would not take this for granted, for this could turn out to be his last chance. So he nodded. 

Colonel Luthra smirked as he left. "All the best. You are in hell now." 

Khalid has always been in hell. 

He turned to look at what will be his haven now, but all he saw was the devil standing there waiting for him; Kabir's eyes dared him to step into those flaming walls and make one wrong move. Judgement and torture awaited him within those walls that he considered a haven. But Khalid was ready to welcome all of it. Kabir kept his eyes locked with him from a distance and smirked with a sense of satisfaction; the reason behind that was unknown to Khalid, but it couldn't be good. 

It terrified him.

Kabir as a human, confused him. How can a man who has done so much good for this country, for its people, be so cold? It was as if the man had decided to lay his emotions before everyone and then closed himself off from the world. His walls were so high that it was impossible for anyone to reach them, but Khalid knew why he turned out the way he did. 

The man he wanted to learn from wanted nothing to do with him because he was a reminder, a living, walking reminder of his worst memories. As long as Khalid was in front of him, he would be constantly reminded of all the death and heartbreak Kabir had to endure. Knowing this, it killed Khalid on the inside. 

Khuda has never been easy on him; when he gave something, he also took something from him in return. 

He just hopes that in this test of his life, which never seems to end, he has the chance to be victorious. 

Chapter Text

It was 3 a.m., and Khalid could not sleep. 

He didn't know what made him so uneasy that day but he could pinpoint a few things at least. 

The first being Kabir's gaze. Khalid could not seem to catch a break from it as he was being watched like a hawk. His every move was being looked over, every breath was counted, and every thought was overanalyzed. Everyone kept their distance from him. It was no different from usual, even in school, college, or even the academy. First, it all began with people keeping their distance from him, then the hush voices speaking about him, calling him names, never bothering to come and talk to him or understand him. It had always been like this. Sometimes, the hush voices got closer to him, came in groups and beat the shit out of him. 

"Gaddar ka beta." (Son of a traitor)

That's what they repeated. All the time. His life was defined by those words, and he had learned to live that way.

There was a time once when a guy sat next to him in school. It was probably the happiest day of 15-year-old Khalid's life. The boy introduced himself, he was new to the school and just moved to the town last month. Khalid had the brightest smile on his face as he shook the boy's hand, hoping things might just turn around. It did for a while, but it only took people a couple of days to tell his new friend every atrocious thing they could about him.

What his father did, what he can do, what religion he follows.

Khalid couldn't speak against them; they were right. He was everything and more than what they said he was. But for some reason, this guy didn't stop talking to him. Hope bloomed in his chest. This was so new for Khalid, his heart was racing, and he could not stop smiling all day as he chatted away with his new friend. A couple of days later, he heard laughter coming from his class, everyone had gone for lunch, and there was no one in the classroom except for a few guys. 

Khalid peeked inside to see his bullies. The seniors of the school who never let Khalid go without an injury on his body whenever they saw him. For them, he was worse than an insect on the wall. But that didn't scare him the most. What made the ground under his feet disappear was the fact that his new friend was sitting amongst that group laughing with them as if they were best friends. Khalid was confused.

He didn't want to believe it.

Maybe they were forcing him to hang out with them.

This can't be true.

But then he heard.

"You should stop hanging out with him. If word gets out then- " One of the guys spoke up but was interrupted by his friend. 

"Dude, his father was a terrorist; what if he also plans something? There should be some insider there right? Who'll keep an eye on him?" And with that, they all snickered and joked as Khalid's little world fell apart. 

Nothing could have prepared Khalid for this sort of encounter in life. This earth-shattering feeling of doom, his heart was breaking, and nothing could prevent this. His hopes, beliefs, and everything were being crushed under the laughable joke that god was playing on him. That day, he stopped hoping for anything in his life to change. As he went there and confronted everyone out of anger, out of pure emotions, he was given a disability back in return. He could no longer see clearly in his right peripheral vision, and that was his wake-up call. Ironically, that incident opened his eyes to a much cruel and harsher world where he had no place. 

He didn't belong anywhere.

If it were not for his ammi, who joined him back, he would have stayed broken. It was only his ammi who gave him courage and taught him the importance of never giving up. That the meaning of life for them was to keep on fighting for the right to live, that was his new way of life.

And it had carried on now beyond the walls of academics into his field of work. 

The distance remained, the hush voices were louder than ever, but the only direction Khalid looked at was at Kabir.

Nothing else mattered except for him.

Throughout the day, when he worked out, went through several case studies, and learned how to use some of the tech around there, Kabir's gaze on him was muddled with suspicion and distrust. 

But what happened by the end of the day kept Khalid up all night and will also be the reason for some of his future sleepless nights. 

He was doing his end-of-the-day jog around the lawn when the weight of those eyes felt too much. He was wearing his training tank top and joggers that were more comfortable to train in, but now he was feeling as if those eyes were stripping him of his everything. 

He ran towards the gate where Kabir stood watching him and approached him.

"Sir, do you have something you want to say to me?" He asked, genuinely curious and confused.

Kabir didn't reply for a second; Khalid wondered if he'll even reply.

But he did.

"There are a lot of things I want to say to you but my mind knows its not worth it." He said sternly, cutting Khalid deep.

"That's not fair, sir." His mouth uttered before he could think twice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"You know what's not fair, Khalid? That I might have to see one of my teammates die because of you one day, and here I am training you for it. Does that sound fair to you?" Kabir spoke in a low tone, walking closer to Khalid. "One day, you might be the reason why my team dies, and I have to sit here like a fucking idiot and watch you bring down everything I have built up all over again." Kabir slowly circled Khalid, now standing behind him, his body radiating so much heat it ignited Khalid's heart. "How is that fucking fair, Khalid?" He whispered in his ear and hissed, "Tell me." 

What could Khalid possibly say to that? How could he even begin to form an answer to a statement so cruel?

He turned his head around, his eyes were now burning, and he felt like crying as he was being scrutinized. Meeting those unforgiving eyes was not easy. 

"I'm sorry sir. I don't what to say, I-I'm sorry." Was all he could get out of his mouth.

"No you're not. I know you have something cooking inside you pretty little head," He said as he tapped Khalid's forehead with his finger on the side. "But I will not be making the same mistake twice. I will not trust someone blindly again. I want to you gone, Khalid, but for some reason my rational mind wants to give you a chance. One step outside my boundaries, and I have all the chances to make you disappear forever. Remember that."

With that, he left Khalid alone, with this massive weight of what his mentor actually thinks of him. Of what is expected of him. His perception in Kabir's mind is lower than that of a rookie, and he had never felt so helpless in his life. He would take a thousand hush voices and punches to his face than hearing something like that again from Kabir. 

These thoughts never left his brain even as he came home, changed, and tried to sleep. Kabir's words, the distaste in his voice, and his sheer haterade for Khalid were unbearable. His face heated up, and his eyes were burning again, but he didn't want to cry. He was aware of what everyone thought of him; how would what Kabir thought of him be any different? Why did he expect to be treated any differently? He traced his ear, which felt warm after Kabir was so close and whispered in his ear. It sent shivers down his spine to think of how he was so close to him, his whole body radiated warmth. But his words were as cold as ice, they knew where to slash him to make him bleed. They were laced with venom and a belief of truth.

Khalid was tired. 

But he could not sleep. Kabir's words echoed in his brain the whole night as he over-thought everything he said.

Although, his hopes that tomorrow might be better were not crushed. He just had to keep on going.

-----

Tomorrow was not better. 

It was somehow worse. 

He had not had a proper night's sleep, and it was visible on his tired and sunken face. He still could not forget everything that Kabir had said to him yesterday, and for some reason, Kabir had decided to absolutely grill him today. 

From extreme training to non-stop paperwork to surveillance tests, he was being worked to the bone.

Kabir was finding a way for him to slip up and show his weakness.

And so he did.

No matter how hard he tried to stay up watching those surveillance cameras, no matter how hard he tried to keep his eyes open and focus. His sleep-riddled brain fell asleep without his permission. 

He was woken up by being grabbed by the collar and forcefully dragged up.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" growled Kabir. His eyes were full of anger, and he seemed genuinely pissed.

"I-I am sorry, sir. I fell asleep. I'm really sorry, sir." He kept on apologizing; at a point, he didn't even know what he was saying.

"Is that what you will say when the target is gone, Khalid? 'I'm sorry I fell asleep?' Is that how to plan to explain yourself to me when you loose our bloody target?" 

Khalid was ashamed. He had never made such a mistake, not even when he was in the academy. The only thing he could do was look down in shame and apologize.

"This is not what Colonel Luthra promised me. He promised me a soldier who was ready to sacrifice his everything, but he cannot even keep his damn eye open to watch a pre recorded tape. Isn't that right Khalid? This is what you are capable of aren't you? Being lousy and irresponsible." Kabir spat and faced away from him. "Get out of here, and do not enter this premise until you are in a condition to do your job properly." 

"Yes, sir." was all he could say as he slipped away from the office and ran towards his dorm.

He was absolutely pathetic; Kabir was right; he was good for nothing. How dare he slack off on his work; how dare he take this chance so lightly? How dare he compromise his task at hand and jeopardize everything?

This is not what Khalid came here to do. He has been through worse than what Kabir did or said; he can take this. He can do better, he has to. 

He fell asleep as soon as he crashed his head down on his pillow. A deep, dreamless sleep. Or so he thought.

----

Kabir knew he was being too harsh. 

Anyone could tell that the boy worked to the bone, did not sleep or eat properly, and still excelled at almost everything. 

Khalid was a physical wonder when it came to his training, he was flawless but fierce, yet had a certain grace that made him shine brighter than anyone else. He was extremely attentive when he did his paperwork, his ability to catch details and be efficient while doing it was exceptional, there were very few things Kabir could complain about him. 

And that was frustrating Kabir.

So when he got the chance to catch him lacking, Kabir did a downpour on him. Again, he let his emotional, prejudiced side get the best of him and scrutinized the boy in front of everyone else. He has never done something like this before. The harshness of his words even took himself by surprise. Again, what he said wasn't wrong; Khalid not taking care of himself and making such a rookie mistake was unacceptable. 

He felt like he was on two different roads with this boy. One that didn't involve him being so angry all the time, and the other just wanted to punch him in his innocent face. 

Sometimes Kabir did feel that Khalid was too innocent, the way he would blindly follow everything he said, never questioning anything even once. How he would never talk back, the times that he did were followed by 'I'm sorry,' how he would do something specifically so that Kabir would praise him, although Kabir never did. Khalid's desperation to get Kabir's approval was growing something so insidious in Kabir's heart that unleashing it would bring Kabir's own downfall first. 

So here was a boy, who would jump off a building if Kabir said so, and this power that he put in Kabir's hands can be extremely addicting. 

Kabir was not a good man. He was fucked up in ways that cannot be explained, and adding this to the mess he already was, was not something he could afford. 

So he did what he could do. He ignored this foreshadowing of the upcoming storm and headed to Khalid's dorm to check on him. 

Chapter Text

When Kabir entered Khalid's dorms, he didn't know what he would say.

Aditi came to him when she saw him walking out of his office. She didn't know the extent of the thoughts that went off in his head, but her concern about the situation got the best of her, and she gathered the courage to speak up.

"Kabir Sir!" She called out to him. He stopped in his tracks and let her join him where he stood, just a few meters away from the dorms.

"Aditi." He acknowledged her. 

"Sir, I heard what happened. Considering your past and his ties to it, I Understand that all of this is not easy for you. But please, sir, there has to be something that can be done so that he can have at least a chance to prove himself?" She pleaded. She wanted to say more, but there was hesitation in her eyes. "I didn't want to mention this, but...." She hesitated again.

"But what, Aditi?" He demanded she speak up.

"He is isolated here, sir. No one talks to him; everybody talks about him, and it's absolutely disgusting sometimes. Some.....Some refuse to serve him lunch and put all the cleaning duties on him because he won't say anything. The day before yesterday, they locked him in the storage room and refused to let him go even when I begged them to. He managed to escape by himself when it was too late at night. I have a feeling that he is being bullied by everyone here. And-And I think the way you treat him has encouraged it." It took a lot out of her to say all this to him as frankly as possible. 

Kabir was stunned. He didn't know what to say or how to think straight after being told all of this. 

One thing he knew for sure. He was absolutely livid. 

"Who?" He wanted to break their fucking necks. He might have been a ruthless bastard, but none of his subordinates had the right to treat their comrades like this. Kabir despised situations like this the most. And it was Khalid who was going through this, all alone, without a sing fucking complaint out of his mouth. These people were dead.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I cannot tell you their names. I cannot be a rat. I know your reaction to this, and far too many people are responsible for it. I want everyone to face the same punishment, including me, because I didn't do enough to stand up for him. He has already been here for a month, and I don't even know the extent of what he might have gone through." 

"Okay. This will not be happening again, Aditi. That is one thing I am sure of. I will show everyone true hell tomorrow." He committed and left.

Standing outside Khalid's dorm, he knew he should apologize first, but Kabir was an extremely self-aware man. He knew his ego and pride would not let him apologize so he could do the next best thing. Demand Khalid to apologize to him instead and never make a mistake like this again, and this time, meaning it. 

Standing outside Khalid's door for too long, he knocked rather than barged in. He at least had to show some decency at this point. But his knocks went unanswered. He tried a couple of more times before he grew frustrated and anxious. He opened the door with the duplicate key and entered the room to witness Khalid in his bed sleeping, no, actively going through the worst nightmare possible. 

His mouth was slightly open; he was saying something, his fists gripped the sheets tightly, his forehead was scrunched up, and tears ran down his closed-lidded eyes. 

To Kabir's sick mind, it was a sight he was dying to witness. Where the boy lay helpless and destroyed in tears. But the sane part of him was bothered by Khalid's mind scumming to nightmares. 

He walked towards the boy's bed and sunk to his knees beside the bed, just in front of Khalid's pretty troubled face.

"D-Don't go, please.......please," Khalid's sleep-riddled mouth spoke. 

Who was he thinking about? What was happening in his dream? Kabir has never wanted to enter someone's brain so badly. 

"I'm sorry....sorry....don't leave me," he murmured, and Kabir waited patiently, thinking of what he should do now. "I'm begging you, sir, please no ."

Now, that caught his attention. Khalid was dreaming about him. No, Khalid was having nightmares about him, more like. That made Kabir get more frustrated and angrier by the second. Was he getting nightmares because of Kabir? The one who was the reason for Kabir's living nightmares, the one who was ruining Kabir's life by forcing himself into it. Wasn't that just ironic?

Another sob through the boy's mouth, and Kabir couldn't take this shit anymore. He sat on the bed, grabbed Khalid by his shoulders and jolted him awake into sitting straight. 

"Khalid! Wake up, Khalid." He shook him. 

Khalid's eyes shot open with the force that he was woken up; he was shaking, his eyes bloodshot, and he was sweating. It took him a second to digest what happened, but all hell broke loose once he saw who was sitting before him. He broke himself out of Kabir's hold and jumped out of the bed. Chanting 'I'm sorry's and 'I won't do it again.'

Kabir got up, narrowed his eyes and looked at Khalid. "What were you dreaming of?" He asked.

Khalid calmed down a bit and shook his head. Still a bit shaken up.

"This is an order, Khalid. Tell me what you were dreaming about." Kabir demanded as he raised his voice. He closed the distance between them as Khalid's back crashed against the wall. "Tell me, Khalid; it's okay. Don't you want to be good to me? Is this how you behave?" He said, lowering his voice, bringing his hand to Khalid's face and tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear. 

"N-No, sir. I can do better." Khalid said, finally calming down and looking up at Kabir.

Oh fuck, this was giving Kabir a power trip. Not good; this was so not good for him.

"Then tell me." He whispered. "This is the last time I ask."

"It was dark.....and-and we were on a mission; I did something wrong, and you called me a traitor; you said that this was where I belonged, with the terrorists. You said I was just like my father, walked into the car with everyone else, and left me there. In the dark with all those people. You-You left-" He brought his hands forward and clutched Kabir's T-shirt. 

As much of a sadist Kabir was, he could not just watch the boy lose his mind like this. He brought his arms around Khalid and hugged him, even surprising Khalid, who stopped sobbing and just sniffed, burying his face in Kabir's chest. He felt warm. Safe. Protected. All these feelings that he is so unfamiliar with.

"Whatever happened today should not have happened. You know better than not taking proper care of yourself. I cannot have any of my teammates showing signs of weakness like this, you understand?" Even though he wanted to be sturdy, his voice had an unfamiliar softness which went unnoticed by him. 

"Yes, sir." Khalid whispered.

"Say you understand."

"I understand."

He unwrapped his arms from around him, Khalid already missing his warmth, but those hands went to his cheeks and held his face up. Teary eyes meet soft eyes. "But you have to know that no matter how much you fuck up, Khalid. I will never leave you behind." Kabir realized he had said something he shouldn't have and corrected himself. "I I wouldn't leave a teammate behind. I am your senior; it is my job to bring you back with me, safe. but Khalid knows this as well....." One of his hands slipped to Khalid's neck and gripped it a little tighter. "Never. Ever. Even think about betraying me. Especially not you. I don't know what I will do if you do." There was a threat in there, but there was a flash of worry that Khalid had never seen before, so he nodded.

"Use your words when you talk to me, Khalid." Kabir raised his voice a bit.

"Yes, sir, I promise. I will never betray you. I am loyal to you, sir, and no one else." Khalid confessed. It was the truth.

"Good." With that, he let Khalid go and put some distance between them. Kabir didn't like it. He didn't like not having his hands on Khalid.

And Khalid was suddenly so cold as if all the warmth from his body was sucked out of him. He was craving Kabir's touch as soon as it left him. 

Kabir knew this was not good. He should not have touched Khalid in the first place. The way Khalid looked at him right now was dangerous. Eyes full of desperation and want. As if he was begging to touch him again, engulf him whole and leave nothing behind. And if Kabir were a worse guy, he would do it in a heartbeat and ruin Khalid for anyone else. But Kabir is a better man.

Kabir knew his limits, and Khalid was completely off-limits. Because he knew while what Khalid was craving from him was affection, warmth and love, what Kabir actually could give was something much uglier and traumatic. Like a monster from Khalid, Kabir craved something much more carnal; it was complete and absolute ownership. 

Chapter Text

The world came crashing down on Khalid the next morning. 

Everything that happened, everything he said, everything Kabir said was playing through his head on a loop, and his mind refused to let it go. 

He could still feel the heat seeping through his hands as he held Kabir so close to him, his arms around Khalid's body, making him feel safer than he had ever felt in his life. At every point in his life, Khalid had worried about being abused one way or the other in any given situation, whether verbally or physically. As he grew up, he made himself physically stronger than anyone around him; his fighting skills, quick thinking, and almost god-like physical abilities didn’t make him worry about facing the ground again anymore. But he hated it every time when someone was violent with him, someone calling him the worst possible thing on the planet, treating him like he was no better than garbage, but he was getting used to it. 

Kabir's trainees were no different than all those he had faced before, most of them decided to stay away from him but sometimes people got brave. They knew that they could never win against him in a fight; Khalid was deathly when it came to his hand-to-hand combat training. The only person who could possibly keep up with him was Kabir, but he refused to duel with him. Khalid was not worthy of experiencing that privilege yet. So, the people around him got creative, making snide remarks, making him do all the daily chores, ambushing him in the store room, or refusing to serve him food. None of it was new to him, but every moment he had to go through it all over again, his heart broke a little. Not that he cared about any of the people there, but all he wanted was to be treated with a little kindness, he wanted to make friends, and he too wanted to feel liked by people around him, appreciated and cared for. 

He observed how everyone on the team had a deep connection and bond with one another, experiencing life-threatening situations together and laughing about it the next day. People here seemed to like one another, all except for him.

When the toll of it all came down on him, he slipped and upset Kabir. He wanted to dig a hole and die of shame.

But it shook Khalid to his core last night and for all different reasons. 

'Don't you want to be good to me?'

'I will never leave you behind.'

'Never. Ever. Even think about betraying me. Especially not you.'

If only Kabir could know the things, Khalid was ready to do for him. He would be ready to do anything it takes to make Kabir trust him, make him see Khalid as someone he could rely on in his team, train him, teach him everything he knows, and let Khalid just be close to him. That's all he ever wants. 

He was too little when he first got infatuated with Kabir.

Just as he was growing up, hitting puberty and knowing what it meant to have feelings. If Khalid was honest, even today he didn't exactly know what he felt, but whatever it was, it made him keep going and pursuing that one man who was his god. The one man who he would follow to the ends of the world, he would take him. 

Kabir's eyes, no matter how hate-filled they were, no matter what Kabir saw, made him feel seen for the first time. Those eyes had never left him since the day he came, and Kabir hadn't planned to do so. 

He quickly took a shower to get rid of all the sweat from last night. He wishes he could also wash away the horrifying nightmare that he had last night, but like a movie on a loop, they kept replaying in his head. Kabir's menacing face, smirking at him as he left him to die amongst those unknown people, the feeling of hopelessness and absolute doom will forever haunt his awake self. 

Khalid was nervous. 

Stepping out of his dorms, he was nervous to face Kabir and what he might have to say after last night. Although Kabir’s words were an unexpected source of comfort for him, he knew there would be more consequences that he would have to face, today, tomorrow, forever. It was never-ending for him, the pain, the punishment; it was always there, taunting him of an unhappy tomorrow and stained future. He had made up his mind to make peace with it and exist just for two purposes: his Ammi and Major Kabir. Beyond them, nothing else really mattered, if he reminded himself that so that the chaos in his mind, the worry, the loneliness would fade away and he would get a few moments of delusional peace. 

He came to a slow halt as he ran towards the training grounds. It was empty for the first time since he came here. He quickly checked his watch to check the time, just to confirm he wasn’t early or late; he wasn’t. But there wasn’t even a whisper of other soldiers or the trainees. Minute by minute he was getting stressed and worried, thinking something might have happened, something bad. 

He sprinted towards the common area, where people usually had lunch or dinner. Maybe there was a meeting being held, and nobody bothered to inform him. As he got nearer and nearer, he heard loud voices; everyone had gathered there. It was not even 7 am, and Khalid had somehow managed to mess up. He frantically opened the door to the commons, and all the eyes turned towards him. But Khalid’s eyes were fixated on only one man in the room, Kabir. Who had anger in his eyes, fury and power, all of it making it difficult to maintain eye contact; he quickly averted his gaze and headed towards the older man. 

He stood straight and saluted in the most immaculate form. Sharp and powerful. “I am sorry for the delay, Sir. I was not aware that there would be a meeting today.” He managed to speak without stuttering. 

Kabir eyed him briefly before the anger in his eye diminished just a little and filled with amusement. “Relax, Khalid.” He spoke, a stern rigger in his voice. Khalid dropped his shoulder and brought his hands together in front of him. He was nervous and unaware of the situation. 

“Take a look at them, Khalid. And tell me-” Kabir continued, bringing up his hand to gently place Khalid's back. 

A vigorous zap went through Khalid’s body from the littlest of the touch. Kabir’s hand was warm, scorching, burning away all his tension. Kabir’s eyes demanded he look at everyone, and so he did. 

“These are your comrades, right? Sworn to protect each other, protect our country together? Right?” Kabir asked loudly. 

“Yes, Sir.” Khalid nodded.

“Then tell me, Khalid, what punishment do I give to those who betray their own comrades? Who presume they are in the position to pass judgment? Who think they can pull their little tricks on someone behind my back and expect no consequences? What do I do with them, Khalid?” 

Khalid didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t want to be a ‘rat’ in front of everyone’s eyes, but he also didn’t want to disobey Kabir’s order. So he answered what he thought. “I don’t know, sir.”

Kabir smiled and said, “Let me show you then.” He moved towards everyone gathered before them, taking his warm hand from Khalid’s back, leaving it cold again. The taller man’s back now facing him. 

In the crowd, he saw Aditi. Her eyes held guilt as she held a quick eye contact before looking down at her feet. Khalid had no idea what was happening.

“Soldiers!” Kabir’s voice suddenly boomed in the room, bringing everyone into an alert position. “From today onwards, all of you will sleep, eat, and drink outside—no access to the dorms, no access to the kitchen and no access to the washrooms. I want you all to live like animals as you have behaved like one. In addition to that, none of you will be able to leave these premises for 2 months until our next mission and none of your friends or family will be allowed to visit, you people don’t deserve it. Am I clear?”

Everyone was in shock. Eyes wide in disbelief. Kabir was known to be a harsh, no-nonsense kind of soldier. His strictness and discipline took him where he is today. But this might be a tad too much. ‘Why was Major Kabir doing this to them?’ That’s what was on everyone’s mind.

“All this is because of him, am I right, Sir?” Saurabh spoke from the crowd. He was one of those who didn’t really partake in ambushing Khalid but always was the one to instigate it. He was one of the senior soldiers who worked directly under Kabir. Kabir trusted him but always kept him at arm's length. Kabir never let anyone close to him; no one was allowed to be his friend; they were teammates and comrades, that was it. Like Khalid, Saurabh worshipped Kabir; he always tried to stand out from everyone else; he was the best until Khalid came along and beat him in everything. Saurabh wanted to be someone who held Major’s attention, the one who got favoured, the closest, most trusted person in Kabir’s life. But here was the biggest obstacle of his life: Khalid. Who had Major Kabir on his side right now. It boiled his blood. It made him furious. “The son of a traitor.” 

Khalid flinched internally at the words but didn’t let it show. He had stopped letting his emotions get the best of him, but no matter how old it gets, those words kept the wound on his chest fresh. 

“Are you punishing us because what? We messed with him a little bit? I don’t think what anybody has done to him is as grave as what his family has done to our country. So what if nobody wants to be around this guy? So what if everybody talks shit about him? He deserves it, sir! Someone has to pay for his father’s sins, and who better than the son himself-”

“Enough!” Kabir roared. His eyes fixated on Saurabh. “How dare you? How dare you think you are in any position to pass this judgment? How dare you decide who will pay for whose sins? Don’t forget, soldier, that here, within these walls, I am the only person to decide who deserves what. I am the only one who has the right to pass judgment on all of you.” He turned his back towards everyone and spoke again calmly. “I have been too soft on you all; it's about time to know your place, soldiers. I trusted all of you to behave a certain way, but you have mistaken my trust for negligence. Get back to work, everyone. You’re dismissed.” 

Khalid never wanted any of this to happen. He was not here to cause a rift between Kabir and his people; he never wanted to bring this issue up and land in this exact position. “S-Sir, I don’t think-”

“Not a word, Khalid,” Kabir warned him. His eyes never left the younger’s unsure ones. “Take a good look at this and remember it very well. It was because of you today that I had to punish my soldiers. You kept your mouth shut when you should have spoken up, and now to have the audacity to defend them? I know what you are, Khalid, and being sympathetic is not one of them.” Kabir smirked. “You are already making your move, aren’t you? Being all innocent and virtuous. I am very well aware of your treacherous blood. You know?” He said, voice lowering and closer to Khalid’s ear. “What Saurabh said is true; you are a son of a traitor. You deserve everything happening to you, Khalid, but the only difference is that I am the only one allowed to bestow judgment on you. I am the only one who can give you what you deserve, and no one else. Your suffering is mine and mine alone, Khalid. Do not tolerate it under someone else; I will destroy them and then you. Remember this.”

With those words, Kabir left. 

And so did Khalid’s hope and salvation. 

Chapter Text

Life took a sharp U-turn for Khalid. It's not that he had ever had smooth sailing, but at least he had order. He had a routine: Eat, sleep, train, train more, exhaust yourself until you fall, and make sure never to walk out of line and always keep discipline because he knew that he was not one of those people who would have the luxury of second chances. One mistake, one failed mission, one wrong move, and he would be declared a traitor, just like that. His efforts would never amount to anything as he will forever be scrubbing the horrifying stains on his family name, all because of his scum of a father. 

As Khalid had never had any friends before, Aditi’s appearance in his routine life was making him anxious. She was naturally a kind and soft-spoken lady who could speak her mind without being intimidated by anyone. Khalid admired her but felt guilty that he was being cautious with their interactions. Whenever she actively conversed with him, he went on autopilot and assumed that she had an agenda; if she helped him in training, she must have an ulterior motive to ambush him. He tried to convince himself that she was not like others and genuinely wanted to be his friend; his default thoughts would not let him put his guard down. 

Two months had passed by since Kabir ran the code of punishment. Things did not get better for anyone as Khalid was the apparent “snitch.” They were not aware that Aditi interfered with their little “roughing up,” so naturally, they suspected Khalid of running to Kabir with his little complaints. This rubbed everyone the wrong way; why was Khalid the only one who got to sleep comfortably inside the dorm and eat good food when the rest had to suffer like this? Why was the apparent “snitch” the one who was enjoying the comfort while everyone else couldn’t even access basic necessities? Day by day, people were losing their patience with him. Khalid’s relationship with his supposed teammates was getting tense by the second, and he could not do anything. He tried speaking to Kabir once again regarding this, but he was subjected to more sarcasm and dismissal. He knew he would have to do something about this, or he would never be able to be a part of the “team.” 

Aditi slammed her bowl full of fried rice in front of him as they sat down for dinner. “These idiots have no idea what they are dealing with yet. You know Natasha? She still thinks that Kabir sir is going to forgive them soon, and they can go back to how things were before. Fools!” she exclaimed. 

Taken back from this sudden information dump, Khalid sat straighter and looked at her curiously. “I mean, Kabir sir will have to relive them soon, right? This can’t go on forever,” he said. He ate his paratha quietly, only wishing he would ask his ammi for her recipe, as the ones he made never turned out as good as hers; he was missing something and craved his mother’s hand-made food. 

“Oh, trust me, this is not the first time Kabir sir has punished us. About two years ago, Nishant messed up on an important mission; he let confidential information slip into the media, which compromised the whole project. On top of it, he tried to cover his tracks and hide this debacle. Now, Kabir sir can forgive a mistake like that after some tough grilling and minor restrictions, but he would absolutely not forgive people lying to him; he believes trust to be more important in his division than anything. Nishant was suspended for six months and was transferred to the worst possible location for a year before he was brought back. All the people who tried to cover for him were suspended for six months as well, and when they came back, they had to start from the bottom of the barrel before they could crawl back to the position they had before. It was absolutely brutal but well-deserved. Since then, an example had been set, and nobody had tried any funny business until you came. They got too brave, Kahlid; trust me, this is a good thing.” Aditi spoke, and even though she was one of the people to suffer this punishment, she was glad that people had finally stopped bothering Khalid; some were even civil towards him, hostile, albeit. 

“If you say so.” Khalid tried to process what she said, taking mental notes on his teammates and Kabir. Even though he could never completely open up to Aditi, he had slowly, somehow, started to feel comfortable in her company. He could talk to her about everyday stuff and not feel like he bothered her. It was new for him, but he was making progress. 

“Don’t you have a family visit tomorrow?” Aditi asked. 

Hearing her mention that set a smile on his face. “Yes, Ammi is coming to see me. It's been a while, and she has been feeling restless without me. It's always been just the two of us for so long, and even I feel weird not seeing her face every day. I really miss her,” he said shyly. 

“That’s so sweet. My mom and dad were so sick of me that they wanted their rebellious child to become a disciplined soldier finally. I rarely see them, but it's mostly because of how far they live. Otherwise, amma would have been on my neck every other day.” She laughed. Khalid laughed with her and shook his head.

“They must be proud of you, right? Being on Kabir sir’s team is not something anyone can accomplish.” He asked curiously.

“They are. They never miss a chance to talk about me with our relatives; it's a little embarrassing, but they have earned that right, I guess?” She said, and Khalid nodded. “By the way, you are absolutely obsessed with Kabir, sir, aren’t you?” She smirked.

She said this when Khalid was trying to drink water from his glass; as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he choked on the water and almost died. Aditi chuckled at that reaction and laughed at his embarrassed face. “Calm down, big boy.”

“Why would you say that?” He coughed more and wiped his mouth with a tissue. “It’s not like I am obsessed with him, you know.”

“Then what is it? I saw you from afar when you first came here with Colonel Luthra; you couldn’t take your eyes off Kabir sir; it was like you were looking at your favourite celebrity or something. The fact that you choose to be here, in Kabir sir’s division, despite knowing that the odds will not be in your favour, says something about you. So, why this place? Why Kabir sir?” She asked, lowering her voice. The second of silence gives her a sense that maybe she should not have pried. “You don’t have to tell me. Sorry if I said anything out of the line. I know its none of my business-”

“No! It's just that I have always admired Kabir sir. Ammi always talked about him, that he was the best soldier and told me to be like him. After what happened with my father, she wanted me to have the right role model. She did not want me to bear anger or hate against anyone, especially my country, so she always encouraged me to be like Kabir sir. And that’s what I have always believed in, so yeah, he is like a celebrity to me. I just want him to acknowledge me, you know? I want to be a part of his team like you all are so that, maybe then, the anger in his heart can lessen.” He poured his heart out; it was the first time he had ever shared this with anyone, and it felt good to talk to someone about this. He was so passionate about being acknowledged by Kabir that it drove his spirit. 

“You are really something, ha Khalid? Most people come here to satisfy their parents, gain glory, or be disciplined and live a meaningful life like me. For us, this is just a part of our lives, but for you, this is it, isn't it? This is your life.” She smiled at him, finally on her way to understanding this man. 

“Yeah. And thank you for defending me, Aditi. I know it was you who talked to Kabir sir about what was happening. I appreciate you standing up for me. Nobody has really done that for me before, so it means a lot. I don’t want you to get in trouble for sticking your neck out for me.” His warm smile and caring eyes made Aditi feel like she could trust this person. He was not like what everyone was saying. This guy was a good man and deserved to be treated like one. 

“I won’t, don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl. You are a good guy, Khalid; you did not deserve to be treated that way. Just know that whatever you need, I am always here for you, okay?” She said, reaching out her hand and placing it on his, squeezing it a little to assure him. 

He nodded and returned her a genuine smile. This was the first time Khalid had made a friend, someone to have his back, someone who would be there for him. His heart swelled up in his chest with a hint of happiness. He could finally be a part of a group, a part of a friendship, and rely on someone. This was new, but whatever it was, it was good. 

Although good things never lasted long for him. 

A shadow loomed over both of them, and they turned around to see the devil himself looking down at them, his eye fixated on where Aditi had placed her hand on Khalid’s. Veins in his forehead protruding, the smile on his face was not fooling anyone that he was vexed. 

Khalid quickly pulled her hand away from Aditi’s grasp and squeezed his hands together. He did not want Kabir to get any wrong ideas about them in his head. He was always walking on eggshells around him and did not want any misunderstandings to mess things up.

“Did I disturb you guys?” He asked, his voice sounding overly sweet and the fake simple wavering.

Aditi stood up quickly and said, “Absolutely not, sir. We were just chatting. Anyway, I am off to bed. Sir. Bye, Khalid. Good night.” She signed off and swiftly vanished. 

Khalid stood up, left alone with Kabir; his guard was down, and he did not want to risk saying anything stupid right now. But before he could open his mouth, Kabir captured his wrist harshly and dragged him away. He was confused as to where they were going but didn’t resist. Kabir took them far from anyone’s view and finally stopped, pushing Khalid against the wall, not letting go of his wrist. He noticed that it was the same hand that Aditi held as a gesture of friendship. He hesitated but looked up at Kabir to ask him what this was about, but he beat him to it.

“What. were you two doing?” Kabir’s voice was rough as he pushed against Khalid, getting closer to him and looking down into Khalid’s eyes. He demanded to know. 

“Nothing, we were just-”

“Do not fucking lie to me, Khalid.” He ordered, raising his voice. “I saw you two holding hands; what's going on? Tell me.” Silence. “Now!” He growled through his teeth. Getting frustrated by the second. 

Khalid pushed back gently, “I’m not lying, sir. We’re just-we’re just friends.” He did not want Aditi’s name or image tarnished in Kabir’s eyes, so he had to clear her name. This was what he wanted to avoid, but he always managed to drag down those who cared for him. He had to make Kabir understand that she was only being friendly and nothing else. 

“So you have started making friends here? Want them to be a part of your little plan? What's going on in that head of yours, Khalid? Tell me, c’mon.” Kabir was relentless. 

“I swear, sir, it's nothing like that. We were just having a conversation; she asked me about Ammi, and we were just talking about family. We-We just got caught up, and that's when you came in and saw, I swear, that's it.” Khalid tried to explain. Omitting the unnecessary things but also telling the truth.

Kabir’s eyes did not leave his face, judging him and calculating what to say next. He tilted his head to the side, “Are you telling the truth?” He asked again. 

“Yes, sir.” Khalid said, lips trembling slightly; he looked away.

The answer did not seem to satisfy Kabir; he looked away from him and shook his head, suddenly pulling Khalid towards him by the wrist. He did not let go, the grip only tightening more. 

“I don’t like it Kahlid. Her touching you. You letting her touch you.” Their eyes met again. One pair alarmed, one agitated. “It makes me angry every time you let someone else be all over you, do you know that?” He whispered, his grip on Khalid’s wrist finally loosening, but he didn’t let go. His big, warm hands slowly travelled up Khalid’s arms, eyes never leaving the places he touched. Khalid’s entire body felt like it was on fire, his heart almost beating out of his chest, lip parting slightly because he couldn’t breathe through his nose; he rested his hand on Kabir’s chest lightly, gripping his worn-out shirt lightly. He didn’t know if he was allowed to touch the older man. Kabir’s hands finally stopped at his shoulder and gripped them tightly, bringing them closer, faces just an inch away, “Don't let anyone touch you like that, Khalid.” He whispered, his voice deep and heated.

Khalid felt brave being so close to him, so he asked, never breaking eye contact, “Why?”

Kabir squinted in amusement. “Do I need a reason to give an order? Will you not obey?” he asked. Didn’t you say you would follow my every order? My every command? Was I mistaken?” he asked cunningly, slightly letting go of his grip. He knew what this was doing to Khalid and played the game.

As expected, Khalid’s eyes widened, gripping Kabir’s shirt tighter, bringing them closer. “No. No.” He searched Kabir’s eyes to make the older look at him and pay attention to him. “I will not let anyone touch me, sir. Only you.” 

He must have said the right thing because that captured Kabir’s attention. “Only me?”

“Only you, sir.” Khalid nodded, looking away.

“How do I trust you, Khalid? You have a way of sweet-talking people, you know. You are well aware of what I want to hear, and you say it just like that. But can you prove it?” Kabir knew he was playing a very dangerous game, one in which he wins and loses altogether. 

“W-What?” The younger asked.

“Prove it to me that you will not let anyone touch you. That I am the only one who has that right. Can you do it?” Kabir swallowed, his mouth watering at the thought. His eyes were turning wild, and he was hand-grabbing Khalid’s body anywhere he could, which happened to be his shoulder and waist.

“I can. I will. You ask for it, and I’ll do it, sir. Anything, I’ll prove it.” In his trance, in awe of this man to prove his worthiness, Khalid did not notice the changes in their position away from the wall. 

“Anything, Khalid?” The older asked, slowly letting go of the younger, stepping away and creating distance between them.

Khalid, alarmed, could only nod. “Anything, Sir.”

Kabir knew that he was falling into dangerous territory. It had been years since he last felt this incomprehensible burning in his chest. He remembered the exact moment he felt it last. 

Seeing a 19-year-old, young Khalid, barely legal, so innocent and small. Kabir saw him from far away as the young boy clung to his mother and balled his eyes out after getting rejected from the University he wanted to get into. Khalid’s mother, a woman brave enough to sacrifice her husband for the country, begged Kabir to help her son. At that time, Kabir’s heart was filled with disdain and anger. Khalid had his father’s eyes, and in those eyes, he could only see a traitor, nothing else. But that day, as heavy tears filled them, Kabir was burning from the inside out. 

He knew of Khalid’s existence ever since the younger was a child but never had the chance to meet or see him. After killing his father, he had never felt the need to contact this boy who was the offspring of that traitor. So seeing Khalid there in front of him, ashamed of himself that his ammi has to beg someone else for his future, that distraught look on Khalid’s face was exhilarating for Kabir. He wanted to see that face again; he wanted Khalid to always be in pain so that it could keep Kabir’s heart burning. 

But he knew the boy was young, and he had no fault in his father’s doings. Kabir knew it very well. But the wound on his chest was still too fresh, both physical and emotional. He lost his team, his friends, and his long-standing mission to protect his country. He had refused to help Khalid at that time; he gave the reason of not having any say in that matter and had asked her not to see him again, ever. Associating himself with this family seemed like hell to him at that time. But he did give her the contact information of a guy he knew who could help them out; Kabir was an extremely influential person back then, and he knew important people who owed him favours. Khalid’s ammi was thankful for his help, and although Kabir could not be of direct help to them, that one phone call shaped Khalid’s future as a soldier. 

Kabir forgot about the young boy and erased him and his emotions entirely from his memories until fate brought him back, right before the older man’s feet. The same eyes that once lit a spark within Kabir’s chest were now burning him inside out. 

Years ago, Kabir could control himself; he could hold himself back from ruining the boy, but today was different. Today, Kabir was a worse man. He was going to give into the fire and burn Khalid with him. He was going to destroy Khalid and leave him a shell that would belong to Kabir and obey him only. This way, Khalid could never betray him, could never fall into enemy hands; this was the only way he could assure it. 

So when Khalid said “Anything” Kabir was going to ask, no demand, for everything. 

“Kneel,” he said, pocketing his hands, relaxing his shoulders, and leaning back. He saw Khalid’s confused look and smirked, explaining himself. “Get down on your knees for me, Khalid.” 

He watched slowly, with a slight wobble in his legs. Khalid got on both his knees and looked up expectantly at the older man, hands fidgeting before him. 

“Good boy,” Kabir whispered, a hand reaching out to caress Khalid’s cheek. His hooded eyes focused on every single muscle twitching on his face. He was enjoying the younger’s uncertainty, confusion and mostly his fear. Khalid’s eyes never left Kabir’s, but their breaths were turning heavy; the atmosphere raged as if someone had started a wildfire around them. Kabir had committed arson on Khalid’s body; from the bottom of his feet to the tip of his hair, everything was set on fire. Kabir’s touch was surprisingly soft but firm; he held Khalid as if he owned him, his palm making a home on his face; Khalid clenched his hands in fists. 

Kabir’s thumb moved steadily toward the younger’s lips. He dug his thumb into the corner of his mouth, signalling him to open. Khalid pursed his lips slightly; his mouth had gone dry from anxiety, but he didn’t part his lips, confused and scared. 

Kabir’s thumb then hooked onto his lower lip, dragging it down, forcing his thumb between, and pulling his jaw open. Khalid’s eyes turned wide, but he didn’t resist anymore, his mouth falling wide open as Kabir’s thumb landed on his tongue. 

The inside of Khalid’s mouth was warm and wet, saliva pooling at the corner of his lips; Kabir felt like a beast at that moment. Only if he could shove his cock in his little mouth, fuck Khalid’s throat until he would choke on it, feel Khalid’s heat and watch him swallow his seed. Kabir’s deranged thoughts made him twitch in his pants, control leaving by every second as he kept on exploring Khalid’s willing mouth. 

Should he?

He shouldn’t.

He should.

No, he shouldn’t.

A devil and an angel sat on his shoulders, debating whether or not he should absolutely take advantage of this man, who now was literally on his knees in front of him and begging to be fucked out of his mind. 

He had made up his mind. 

“Khalid,” Kabir called out. “Tell me,” He began, breath heavy, mouth-watering and eyes full of demonic lust. Khalid looked at him expectantly, still feeling Kabir trace every corner of his mouth, from his teeth to his tongue to his throat. 

“Have you ever sucked a cock before?” 

Chapter Text

Khalid was 13 when he first discovered the concept of pleasure. Unfortunately.

The confusing changes in his body and his recent weird urges made him frustrated but curious. Unlike any other regular 13-year-old child who would get curious and explore things on his own or with friends, he decided to ask his mom. This was a big mistake.

Nafeesa was perceived as a kind and soft-spoken lady by everyone, and that was indeed the case. However, her close ones were aware of her strong and confrontational nature. She was dedicated and quite traditional when it came to maintaining relationships and raising her children. She was the epitome of righteousness. So when poor, innocent Khalid spoke of his new, changing body, she was stunned and had no idea what to say. From what she knew, young boys never spoke of this matter with their abbu or ammi; her husband or brother never did. So she herself was taken aback. Her reserved nature emerged, and she responded with the limited information she had, a strong word about Allah and chastity. Khalid saw how uncomfortable she was, and he was the reason for that. This realization made him even more embarrassed by his growing body and devious urges.

Ammi took him to see his uncle a few days later, and although he understood it, the damage had already been done - shame and censure had already taken root. He felt embarrassment crawl up his spine every time his body heated up and his blood pumped south.

He wished this was the end of it, but he had no friends growing up who could encourage his exploration or discuss the changes he was experiencing. He had become a repressed teenage boy who never consciously thought of masturbating or sex. He knew how to do it (he had to watch a few videos, which was a horrifying experience for him), he knew what it meant (so far it was meaningless), but he himself would never indulge those thoughts. He was as good as a celibate teen. Not that he had ever felt interested in or wanted someone.

All until one man. 

One charismatic, strong, and powerful man.

Kabir.

The moment Khalid laid his eyes on Kabir, in his uniform, with all his medals and glory. Khalid felt a similar sensation of his body heating up and blood pumping. His heart had started racing at the mere sight of the man. It was as if his body finally found out the one thing it had been craving for years, like a parched animal wandering in the desert looking for a single drop of water. That source of water would shatter his mirage of a troubled life and bring him solace. His burning life and incomplete self will receive meaning. He did not want this fire to go out; he just wanted to know why he was burning and how he could keep the flames going forever. Kabir was that deceiving source of fuel that felt like calming water, but in return, ignited calamity in Khalid’s mind, body, and soul. Kabir would never know how he had unknowingly branded himself on this young man and marked him in that moment.

Khalid was too young to understand that he was different. He was too young to know that not every boy felt this way, not everyone was like him. The excuse of “too young” didn’t last long, and he had to understand his feelings and find out all the whys and whats and hows. Soon, dread started to settle in his chest when he figured out who he was, what he liked, and why it was wrong. He was excellent at observing things around him; his perceptive and grasping skills were already reaching their peak. Which is how he figured out the prejudice for people like him; the hate was too overwhelming to digest. Khalid was already hated for too many things: for this worship, his father, and his arrogance. He could not bear adding to the list and forever concealed this side of him. A Khalid who could be sexually free would never exist. If the world was going to burn him for his father’s sins, then so be it; he would not contribute to his own torture. 

So growing up a repressed teen, to an even more repressed adult, there was only one thing pure about him. The only aspect in which the world had let him stay pure. 

He was a virgin. 

He was 24 and had never even been kissed. Not that anyone was willing to do it with him or vice versa. Khalid had a different life, a different focus, and different priorities. He had never felt the desire to be intimate with someone. He stopped googling things soon after discovery and stopped thinking of ever wanting it sooner.

Until now. 

Until his urges were spoken out loud in the most crude and vulgar way possible. 

That one sentence shook the earth from under his knees and left his throat tight. 

“Have you ever sucked cock before?” 

Such a primitive way of describing what he desperately wanted to do. His eyes immediately went wide and shifted to the ground in embarrassment. He stumbled, slightly closing his mouth and moving it away from Kabir’s thumb. But he was shocked again with Kabir’s grip tightening, his thumb still inside his mouth, pulling wide open.

“Look at me when I am talking to you, Khalid,” Kabir spoke, dangerously low. Khalid gathered enough courage to glance up slowly; his eyes were twinkling with moisture that had gathered due to his feelings of embarrassment. “Good boy,” Kabir smirked. It was criminal how much those words affected him, sending a tremor down his spine. And of course Kabir noticed it. “Now answer my question, have you ever sucked a cock before? Taken someone else in your mouth and made them come down your throat? C’mon, tell me.” He said, there was anger in those words, an unfamiliar fire in the insinuation. “A young boy like you. A mouth like yours, surely there must have been others, many even…….” Kabir trailed off. He was talking to himself out loud, berating himself for imagining it, furious at the thought of it. “Look at yourself. You spread your knees on instinct, hands gripping my knees like you’ve done this before. Begging for more. Is this how you always get what you want? You let them inside you, satisfy their needs, and they give you a favour.” Kabir’s words held a certainty behind them as if he believed what he said. As if the wheels in his head were spinning and putting things in place. “Is that how it is, Khalid? These talents people speak of…….I am curious to know the extent of it. How far you can go, I know you are ambitious and I know you are conniving, but what I want to know is if you are a whore, Khalid? Can you get what you want from me as well?” 

Words have enormous meaning, some intended, some not. Words hold power within their confines; if you know how to use them properly, you can unleash carnage over someone's mind. Words have the ability to build and reshape the construct of being, living, and nonliving. 

Sometimes, a bullet to your heart can be more merciful than a few words spoken. It can be any of the following: the context, the meaning, the intent, the language, the source, or the conclusion. Usually, it is a few of these, but Khalid was at point-blank when all of these downpoured on him. 

His mind had reached a place where he felt like he couldn’t come back from. The first gasping sob took both of them by surprise. Kabir realized the gravity of what he had just said. Khalid on the receiving end of this slaughter. 

Kabir’s grip on his mouth loosened, and as if that was the only thing holding Khalid upright, he sagged down, eyes open and tears flowing down his cheek uncontrollably. His chest let out a painful stab as his sobs grew louder. He brought a hand to his eyes, covering his shame. He did not understand what was happening. Khalid was under the deception that he was immune; it seems like that wasn’t true.

At this point, he thought words would not affect him. He was called every synonym to traitor, bastard, and monster present in the dictionary, in every language. But not this, never this.

Whore. 

That's what Kabir called him. A whore. 

What had he done that warranted this?

Khalid had a lot of questions and confusion in his mind. The onslaught of such powerful, destructive words left him rendered helpless. His sobs only grew more frantic as the word ‘whore’ kept echoing in his mind in Kabir’s voice. He closed his ears with both hands to stop it, to return to peace. He could not breathe, could not see, could not fathom where he was and who he was. Everything was just an echo. 

And suddenly, it stopped. Khalid was sitting now, knees to his chest, covered in sweat; his cries had come to a complete halt. The world had suddenly gone completely silent. He looked up through his tears and saw Kabir crouched down in front of him. Something akin to worry was on his face, but Khalid knew it was anything but that. The older man slowly brought his hand to Khalid’s knee. His grip was gentle. Surprising. 

“Khalid, I…..I didn’t mea-” 

“Kabir,” Khalid whispered. And startled Kabir for a second. The boy hadn’t really called him by his first name ever. A polite and obedient ‘sir’ had always followed suit. This time it didn’t. His voice sounded broken and dry. “I-I think it's late.” His voice wavered. Eyes breaking the little shred of eye contact between them. “I have practice early tomorrow. I should head to bed.” He said as he stumbled to get up. Kabir reached out again to help him, but Khalid flinched. “It's fine, I’ve got it. Thank you, sir.” He forced a sad smile and rushed to his dorm. 

Leaving Kabir, staring back at his retreating back. Kabir is used to feeling every negative emotion in the book: sadness, anger, guilt, regret, remorse, frustration, and fear. Right now, in this moment, he was forced to feel all of them, at once. He did not know why he said what he said, only that he said them. As much as Kabir would like to think of himself as a better man, he was not. In reality, he was bitter, angry, and downright cruel. He knew he should have kept a tight leash on how far he was willing to go to hurt this boy, but there is a part of him that berates him for it. A part of him that burns itself alive every time the boy cries, a part that wants to destroy himself over the agony he causes, a part that bleeds every time he himself thrusts the knife into Khalid’s exposed wound. Kabir wants to kill that part of himself, bury it forever, so that he can be completely satisfied when he passes judgment upon the boy. 

He wants to be safe and sound when he lights Khalid’s world on fire. 

That's the last thought in his mind before sleep consumes him and makes him dream of both of them swallowed by flames. 

_____________________________

It had been 12 days since Khalid had been avoiding him. Kabir likes to think he is a man of endless patience, and who is he even kidding? Everyone who has come into his vicinity knows how much he lacks patience, especially when he is riddled with other feelings like ‘regret’ and ‘guilt’. Such a disgusting emotion to possess, bad congestions that stick to his throat and forever challenges his vocal prowess ever to say the words ‘sorry’. He will never say sorry. Kabir’s pride is big enough to swallow his guilt-ridden congestion. Apologizing being out of the question, he was stuck on how to confront the man he apparently insulted and hurt. 

Kabir knew he had hurt Khalid. He was no fool after all. He said those words to hurt him. See how Khalid will react. Will Khalid’s need to please him let him get away with it, or will Khalid retaliate and fight back? In either of those situations, Kabir expected - no, he knew that he would get what he wanted; Khalid choking on his cock and ruined. 

How wrong he was. Not just about Khalid but himself. He underestimated what he was capable of and how cruel he could be. He had drowned the echo in his heart for so long that now, when it resurfaced for a moment, it had left him rattled. 

So, it had been 12 days since he had properly interacted with Khalid. The only contact they had was during training or discussions. He noticed how Khalid would keep himself as far away from him as possible, always taking a few steps back when Kabir was standing closer to him, breaking eye contact the moment it was not required, and, worst of all, flinching when he felt Kabir touch him, even if it was accidental (it wasn’t). 

Now, Kabir could ignore this ugly feeling in his chest forever if he wanted to. If Khalid was distant, so be it; it was his nature, and he was distant towards everyone. But within the past few days, he had noticed a subtle change. How Khalid always stood with a few people. New. Strange. But Kabir noticed. Khalid would always walk to Aditi, and they would speak, and he would smile. How a few people came up to Khalid to ask for advice, and the young boy always helped. Khalid was a top scorer and a near damn perfection on and off the field. It was natural for people to seek his help. It was a significant change; people were still wary of him, but proximity and limited resources helped break down some of the walls. Khalid was getting familiar. 

And because Kabir was not a man of patience, he decided he would no longer tolerate this. How dare Khalid avoid him? How can he just decide one day to stop following him? Khalid claimed to be devoted to him, practically worshipped him, and begged to be on his team, but now he was over all that? Just because Kabir was a little harsh towards him (a little?). Kabir let out a little laugh. There was no humour in it, just pettiness - he knew he was a grown man acting like a child, but emotions had always blindsided him.  

If Khalid was playing a game, Kabir was sure that the two could play it. The one thing Kabir knows to do better than anyone else is play games and win.

That is how he found himself sitting on Khalid’s bed, eating an apple, leaning against the wall, shoes on the bed—a complete image of disregard. 

He heard the sound of someone walking outside and knew it was Khalid. Other students were still banned from using the dorms, and he recognized the pattern of Khalid’s normal walk: light and hurried. 

The lock clicked, and Khalid stepped in. Completely unaware of the dark and the devil that sat on his bed. He flicked the lights on only to stumble back, drop his bag, and look for a weapon on the desk in front of him to hit the figure on the bed with. It took him a second to realize who it was, and he dropped the knife, keeping it next to a stack of apples that his mother had left him a few days ago. 

He was facing away from Kabir, showing him his back (Bad idea). As he gripped the edge of his desk and dropped his head, he got his heart to calm down. “What are you doing here, Kabir?” 

There it is again, the use of his first name. It sent a thrill down Kabir’s spine. In Khalid's eyes, it made him feel both familiar and unfamiliar. He finished his apple, diverting his gaze to the dustbin, dropping the core in it, and dusting his hands. 

“Are we on a first-name basis, Khalid?” Kabir asked. Eyebrow raised and a little smirk on his face. He could see the trembling grip Khalid had on the edge of the desk. 

“You are. With me.” Khalid replied, slightly looking back at him. “It's only fair.” He was forcing his voice to be steady. 

“So you just don’t call me ‘sir’ anymore? You reject my authority?” 

“I don’t reject your authority. I respect it when we are on the field, when we're training, when you are training us.” In Front of everyone, left unsaid, but Kabir understood.

“And out of those parameters? Do you believe that I do not hold authority over you at this very moment? Do you want me to remind you who you are and where you belong? Have you forgotten everything just because you made a few new friends, Khalid?”

Kabir saw the boy’s muscles flex, and his eyes closed shut. A smirk spread across his lips, and he knew he hit a nerve. 

“I know what I am, where I belong. No one will let me forget, you can rest assured of that.”

“Then what's it? You avoid me. Are you upset with me?” Kabir’s tone was petty and teasing. Although he wanted to grab Khalid and scream at him, he kept his tone light. “Is it because of what I asked of you the time we spoke?”

Khalid’s eyes flew open wide. But Kabir continued, pressing further as frustration and anger leaked from his voice. “All you had to do was say no. Deny the suggestion. There was no reason to get upset over it if it's not true. Why make it such a big deal where you break down just at the insinuation of sex, if you are innocent? I would have believed you if you had just said that you didn’t-”

Kabir closed his mouth the moment Khalid looked back, his fierce eyes red with hurt and anger. “You would have believed me?” Khalid asked, bewildered.

“Yes.”

“That easily?”

“Yes.”

Khalid looked at him, vexed and with such disdain. “So you wouldn’t have just called me a liar? All I had to do was just say ‘No, sir, I am not a whore.’?” Khalid let out a chuckle, filled with hurt. “Do you think of me a fool, Kabir? Do you think I don't know that anything I said would be just as worthless to you as I am in your eyes?” 

Kabir has no reply. He couldn’t answer because he couldn’t deny it. 

“All my life, I have been called a lot of things, Kabir, ‘son of a traitor’, ‘terrorist’, ‘monster’, ‘worthless’, and I believed that I had heard it all, you know? I thought I was finally immune. But you….” Khalid trailed off, his voice cracking, tears flowing down his cheeks. “I’ll answer your question now, I’ll deny it so you can believe me.” He said, wiping his tears, to no avail as more poured. “No, I am not a whore. I didn’t sleep with anyone to gain any favours. I didn’t let anyone in, I didn’t suck anyone’s-” He couldn’t speak anymore as his voice shook and pain gathered in his chest, and he sobbed. He sat down on the chair in front of the desk and put a hand over his eyes, dragging it to his forehead to stop the pain stabbing at his temple. 

“If there is one part of me that this world has left untouched, untainted, free from question, it's my dignity, sir.” He said, looking up at Kabir through tearful eyes. “The reality of you, out of everyone, not just saying those things but believing it……..I couldn’t bear it. Every time I looked at you, it reminded me of what you thought of me, your eyes accused me, your words held confirmation in them, every time you touched me made me feel……..” It took everything in him not to walk away and pretend that this conversation had never happened. “Which is why I avoided you as much as I could. As much as I crave to be in your orbit, I would stay far and out of sight if it meant you would not think worse of me.” 

Khalid spoke again after a moment of silence. “Do you believe me?” he whispered. Looking up at Kabir, resignation in his eyes, he was fully expecting to hear a firm ‘No’. He noticed that Kabir had moved closer to him, Khalid still in his chair. The older man was looming over him. Suddenly, a hand found Khalid’s. He tensed for a second but relaxed when the hand ran through his hair softly and rested behind his neck, a firm grip to keep him grounded. 

“Untouched, Untained, free from question,” Kabir repeated his words, a familiar heat behind his voice. “Is that your way of telling me you are a virgin, Khalid?” He pulled Khalid up from the back of his neck, and the boy went along easily. “Tell me, say yes, and I will believe you.” 

They were pressed against each other, impossibly close. Kabir’s lips were just a whisper away from Khalid’s. Eyes never leaving each other. Khalid contemplated whether he should let this happen. Should he finally burn? Can he let himself have this one moment of happiness, where he feels wanted and needed? Kabir’s eyes held just that, want, need, and more; he was pretty sure his own told the same story. But then there would be no going back, no running away, no hiding from this man. Years ago, he ignited a spark in Khalid’s forest, let everything that flourished slowly turn into barren land, and now he comes again as the lava that will engulf his whole being, leaving nothing behind.

Khalid wants to burn. “Yes.”

The moment words left his mouth, Kabir’s lips captured his viscously, as if he was finally staking a claim. Khalid parted his lips, ready to give him everything: his first kiss, his first moment of shared pleasure, his first sensual touch, his first and last everything. Their tongue met in the most passionate embrace, exploring, getting to know each other, the taste, the scent, the shape. Kabir’s one hand gripped his hair tightly, the other slipped under his shirt, holding his waist tightly. Khalid didn’t know what to do; his mind could only feel the heat of Kabir’s tongue in his mouth. He kept his hands on Kabir's chest, holding on to his shirt, his grip so tight and frightened, refusing to let go, refusing to let Kabir go. 

They parted to breathe. Kabir continued kissing his cheek, moving towards his ear. Khalid keened at the unfamiliar sensation. “Was that your first kiss, Khalid?” 

Khalid decided that he loved Kabir’s voice when he was out of breath from kissing him. He gave a shy nod, not trusting his voice, and his eyes dropped in slight shame. 

“You drive me fucking crazy, Khalid,” Kabir growled in his ear and kissed him again. This time, a little softer but still demanding. His lips begged to stay conjoined, head tilted to give the other more access, and the sounds they produced out of each other just fueled the blood pumping in their veins. Big, rough hands slowly began moving along Khalid’s body, gripping tightly, then letting go, moving lower and tighter again. Kabir had free rein over the man. 

Khalid brought his hands to Kabir’s neck, holding him close like the anchor that he was. Soft humming moans left his throat involuntarily, and as electricity shot through his nerves, the only thing that played in his mind was: Kabir Kabir Kabir Kabir Kabir. 

They drew back, a thin string of saliva still connecting their lips, which did not let them part, as Kabir dove back in, his tongue thrusting between Kahlid’s lip and swiftly switching their positions, pushing Kahlid towards the bed. Temperature rose between their conjoint bodies, sweaty arms holding sweaty bodies together, not even an inch of space between them. Both felt the need to stay as close to each other as possible; it seemed that if they left even an ounce of space between them, it could burst this sensuous and gravitating bubble. 

Khalid’s back landed on the bed, softly but firmly, and he immediately arched his back, wanting the other man to close the gap, and so he did. Kabir crawled over him, his large stature completely covering his body, shadow looming over him, and eyes so bright and aflame as though Kabir was going to devour him. The thought of being so desperately wanted by the older man sent Khalid into a state of desperation. He raised his hands slowly, hesitating but not being able to resist more touch, and held Kabir’s head in his hand, pulling him closer into a deep, demanding kiss. It was a closed-mouth kiss, but held more meaning behind it than the others they shared in the past few minutes. 

But unfortunately, that seemed to wake something up in Kabir, like a wave of thunder burst over his head, and he felt his senses coming back. Assessing what he was doing, where he was doing it and who he was doing. He sharply pulled back and got up, moving as far away from Khalid as possible to the other side of the room.

His back was facing Khalid, hand running through his hair, trying to gain his composure back, but his breath was still heavy. He glanced back and saw Khalid now sitting upright, his legs hanging off the bed and his head held down, his hands at his sides. But the thing that made him double back was: Khalid was shaking. Something akin to fear shone in his eyes, the terror he thought the older man was about to unleash, the cruel words he was about to be subjected to, and the hate he knew he deserved. He was shaking with fear and anticipation of the coming blow. 

The sight was too much. The devil in Kabir was soothed by it, but the display of fear hurt the small, mute and amputated part of him. 

“Are you scared of me, Khalid?” Kabir asked, his back still turned towards the boy. He didn’t know what he was expecting to hear; both the answers ‘yes and no’ made him feel unsettled. He looked back when no answer came. “I asked you a question, Khalid.” He said, with a foreign gentleness to it. “Are you scared of me?” He repeated, now turning towards Khalid, moving closer again and crouching down to meet the boy’s eyes. 

“I am scared, Kabir.” He said, finally, after a long pause. “I don’t understand any of this,” a little frantic, his hands coming up and holding Kabir’s collar, gently. “I am scared of what you are doing here because I don’t know what it means for me tomorrow.” Khalid felt tears gather in his eyes. “But I am not scared of you. No matter what you do, how much ever you hate me, and can’t stand me, I will always choose to be here, with you, beside you.” He closed his eyes and let the tears fall, his strength giving way. He rested his forehead against Kabir’s. “The real question here is: are you scared of me, Kabir?” 

Kabir stiffened. He wanted to pull away, but Khalid’s hands kept him close, didn’t let him move an inch.

“Are you scared of what you feel here? With me?” Khalid asked, his voice held a sense of anger and frustration. “Do I finally make you feel something other than anger?”

“No,” Kabir whispered.

“Liar,” Khalid whispered. “You can keep running away from this. As long as you want.” He said, pulling back and looking into Kabir’s eyes. “But it won’t change the truth.”

“And what is this truth you speak of?” Kabir asked, head tilting, a challenge in his voice. 

A challenge that was met head-on.

“That you want me.” He pulled Kabir closer, “That every day you say you hate me, yet you cannot help but want to touch me.” Pulling him even closer. “That every time you curse me, you want to kiss me.” Pulling him closer, if that was possible. “That in this moment, you want nothing more than to shut me up, any which way possible. And you know this, Kabir, I will let you. So just do it.” This is the boldest Khalid has ever been in his life. But his inhibitions had taken over his mind now. He was so close to his God, how could he let go?

“Please,” Khalid begged.

And that was all it took. 

Kabir violently pushed the boy on the bed. Lips going to Khalid’s neck, kissing, biting and sucking as much as he could. His hands, gripping each part of Khalid’s body without abandon, leaving bruises and marks that would last for days to come. Khalid’s shirt was off in an instant, thrown across the room. His chisled body glistening in the night light, red blush running from his cheeks to his chest; he was a blushing virgin.

“Everything about you envigorates me, Khalid.” He said, kissing down Khalid’s stomach. Chills rose on the younger’s skin, unknown pleasure flooding his system. There was a budding addiction fostering in his veins - an addiction of having Kabir’s hands on him, his mouth on him at all times. “You tempt me, with such sweet words.” His voice was rougher now, slightly out of breath. “Are you willing to do everything I say? How far can you go for me, Khalid?” He asked, hands hooked to Khalid’s waistband, slowly pulling down, revealing beautiful, unmarked skin. The younger boy, lost in the anticipation of pleasure, didn’t answer. 

“Answer me!” Kabir growled, taking Khalid’s pants off, roughly grabbing the newly exposed naked skin, pressing against the meat of his thighs and moving to grip his ass cheeks. He pulled them apart, massaging them, and his eyes zeroed in on his cock. 

Khalid, coming to his senses, brought his hands to Kabir’s shoulders, nails digging into them as he brought him up, and whispered into his ear, “I am willing to kill for you, sir,” he said, voice filled with a deep sense of allure, “And I am willing to be killed for you.” He stared deep into Kabir’s eyes, “My life, now and forever, is yours, Kabir. Always has been.” He confessed, finally. 

Heat flashed through Kabir as if someone had poured gasoline over the small spark of fire, and now he was burning alive with passion. His core was shaken, and the sadistic side of him that he was trying to suppress all along, the one that was peaking out from time to time, the lustful demon that wanted to consume this boy in front of him, was being born alive again. And nothing, and he meant nothing, could stop him from taking him.

He slammed his lips against Khalid, almost eating his face, on his way to consume him. This vision, of a completely naked Khalid, begging him to take him, a complete submission, was a beautiful paradox to his flaming desires and thirsty want. He took off his own shirt and removed his own trousers. All while maintaining eye contact with Khalid, it was exhilarating.

Khalid was in a trance; he was slowly losing grip on reality as he saw Kabir undress. He looked down to see both their cocks, full of blood, rushing south, the way they looked together. It was too erotic, and was dumbing down his mind. The zap of pleasure that went through him the moment Kabir took both of them in his hand was enough to break him. His mouth went slack, and moans began slipping past his lips - soft and high-pitched ‘ah-ah-ahs’ filled the room.

It was wet and sticky, and so tight, Khalid felt like he could come any second. It was consuming; the air around them was charged with energy, with friction and sparks created from their bodies touching at every intimate place possible. Their ankles tangled, thighs brushing, hips aligned, cocks pressed together, chests colliding, and lips locked. Their image formed an ideal in Khalid’s mind; he could live here, in this moment, forever. His walls of pleasure and gates of need were broken down by the dominant force of Kabir’s passion. 

Khalid could not fathom the open permission he had to touch, to kiss and thrust up against the older man, their movements as though perfectly in sync, their bodies knew where to touch to have exploding sensations of pleasure run through. Kabir’s grip on them became tighter, as their thrusts became more forceful and rabid with the sole purpose of wanting to come. 

Kabir parted his lips from Khalid’s chest, looking down at his creation, an angry red and almost animalistic bruise forming right above his peck. His chest was covered in teeth indents and spit, Kabir had staked his claim. Khalid was cursed with sensitive nipples, and Kabir could not let this hand that god himself had handed him go to waste. He nipped and sucked and absolutely tortured Khalid's nipple with his mouth while one hand groped his other firm and plush peck. 

Khalid’s body was made for Kabir; every part of him satisfied a need and hunger in him. He knew it when he saw the younger boy when he was merely a teen, body lean and soft in all the right places, he knew it when he was crying over his dead father, soft red lips and wet eyes, and he knows it now as he trusts their cocks together and brings his other hand down towards the young boy's hole, his mouth never leaving Khalid’s nipple, and presses his fingers in brutally.

Khalid stills, body going rigid and mouth falling open into a loud moan. It hurts and it burns him like never before. His eyes are wide, looking at Kabir and waiting for the older man to move, or to speak or to do anything other than be still and let Khalid marinate in the duality of pain and pleasure. “Please, sir, ah-please,” Khalid spoke, brokenly. He could not bear the limbo of this moment, his nerves ready to jump out of his skin. 

His torment is given a little solace when Kabir moves his fingers, albeit taking them off his sensitive spot, but then bringing them back down harsher than before, his fingers hooking in and pressing deeper. An unwilling and harsh moan escaped his throat, completely catching him off guard. His cock gave a thrust, precome already coating his stomach, and he was about to come. 

“This and everything else about you belongs to me, Khalid. Don’t forget that.” Kabir said, dark and lost in his head, the only words echoing in his mind were those of his ownership over the boy. He twisted his fingers in, not really penetrating, but just a painful reminder of what he will do in future. “I am well aware of the stains on you, your filthy blood, and the monsters of your past do not own you, do you understand me?” He growled, looking into Khalid’s eyes, blazing a dark maroon of the devil that he truly was. “ I own you.” He branded that into Khalid’s skin. “Your mind, your body, your soul, will have been erased from your despicable father and his legacy. I will take everything about him from you and burn it to absolute ashes; every imprint he left on you, every resemblance you have, I will gouge out with my own hands and then, only then, will I be vindicated.” Their eyes glazing into each other's souls. “You will be my vindication, Khalid.” Kabir finally whispered, the confession of his inner devil, putting both of them over the edge, and an absolute mind-numbing orgasm hit them at once. Khalid cried out, eyes closing tight shut, heavy tears that gathered there, now leaving a wet trail down. The wave of pleasure, Kabir’s admission, and Khalid’s silent acceptance take a toll on both of them, streaks of white painting their world clear. Both of them were exhaling and breathing into each other's mouths, engraving this as the moment that changed the trajectory of their lives.