Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! Why does this shit have to happen to me?

It fucking hurts. Everything about it hurts. The pushing, pushing, pushing that was tearing me apart. Everywhere our skin touched felt like it was on fire. Not to mention my fucking head and shoulder and god knows what else this bastard fucked up before pinning me down. Even with my eyes screwed shut, I knew one eye was swelling up by the second. I could feel blood running down my face, but I can’t even tell where its coming from… maybe my nose?

But none of that shit matters because I just want this to be over.

The bastard is drunk, he smells like rotting garbage and B.O., which is pretty much his usual sent. And, because it’s my fucking luck, this is the first time he has pinned me down facing him. Every other time he has held my face into a pillow, or ground, but this time he has gotten me on my back.

I learned a long time ago to not cry, to not make any sound, it just makes it worse. It makes him even more of a bastard. So I am keeping my mouth shut and my eye sealed so tight. I can’t look at this bastard. I can’t look at him while he does this to me. I don’t know how I would ever look at him again if I saw him while he did this to me.

It has been so long. I have kept him away from me for so long. Why did this have to happen?
And why the fuck is it taking him so long? Is he actually trying to tear my apart? I tried, so hard, to stop this. I haven’t ever fought so hard, and he still over powered me. He still has me bent in half and wishing I was dead.

I think about letting my brain leave. I’ve done it before, when he has done this shit to me. Just let my thoughts drift away, and come back when he pulls out of me. Or maybe when he has already left and I am just a disgusting, leaking, mess of shame.

I can’t do it though. I can’t do it this time. Because I am not fucking done fighting. The pounding is hurting more, and I know why. He is about to pop his knot. I can feel it starting, and can hear it in his disgusting grunts. Like fuck I’m getting stuck to this fucker again. He made a mistake putting me on my back. My legs have more leverage, not a lot, but I have to try.

I take a breath, and even though it’s the last thing I want, I force my eyes open.

He is pulled back, about to thrust forward, and I use the moment to buck my hips. The unexpected movement throws him off, just enough to give me enough wiggle room to get my leg between us. I kick low. I don’t really know where I get him, but he grunts again and reels back enough for me to use my other leg to kick. He backs up more, and is forced to let go of my wrists. I go to sit up, still kicking as I go. He lunges at me, at my legs and thighs, trying to get ahold of my arms again. Going for anything he can get ahold of.

He isn’t grunting anymore. He is cursing and shouting at me. My heart is beating so fast I can’t really understand anything. I don’t think about what I am shouting or yelling. I just want out, I want away from him.

I manage to get off the bed and am moving to the door. He grabs hair, and throws my head against the wall. My ears ring. My vision swims. But I still hear something. Something that is not this bastard.
I honestly don’t know how that is possible. I guess my brain knows only one thing right now, to get me out alive.

It was a voice, a shouting voice that isn’t him.

THUNK THUNK THUNK. I hear it in the other room. The front room.
“CHICAGO PD, OPEN THE DOOR.”

It’s the cops, the fucking cops!

I yell louder then I ever have. “HELP, HELP ME, Hel…”

He shoves me into the wall again.

But, I hear the front door. I hear it being kicked in. I’m on the floor, looking up at him, with my eye that isn’t swollen shut. He looks at me and then to the living room. I don’t know if I have ever seen him breathing so hard, looking so fucking pissed.

He tucks himself back into his dirty jeans and rushes into the living room, yelling as he goes.

I need to get out of here and I know it. I only have a second. Who knows if the cops are really here or if it was someone being an asshole. I don’t care who it is, honestly. I just want to get out before they find me.

I grab a hoodie lying close to me and pull it on as fast as I can. Every part of my body hurts, but I ignore it as I stand, looking around to grab and slip on a pair of sweat pants, all faster than I thought would be possible. I don’t bother for shoes or socks. I just go for the door, and then head to the kitchen and back door.

I try to keep my eyes glued to the kitchen and the back door, but I see him, on the ground with a knee to his back, hand cuffs being put on, all as he continues to struggle about. So it is the cops. I keep moving.

“Stop.”

I keep moving.

“I said STOP!”

My hand is on the door, but I am not fast enough. A hand grabs my shoulder and pulls me back. At the same time I jump and turn, bating whoever the fuck it is away.

No more, no fucking more, I can’t, I can’t!

“Calm down, calm down kid.”

“Get off, get off of me, get off!” My voice sounds foreign to my own ears. It’s so hoarse and desperate. I make my self shut the fuck up. I can’t run. I hurt too much and I know I can’t get away from these fuckers right now. I can’t let them hear me like that. Like a fucking weak bitch. I can’t act like that. Even now. I have to stay strong.

I am strong, dammit!

I take a breath, I settle my eyes on this cop asshole, it’s a lady. My nose is bleeding, I can feel the blood dripping, and it hurts like a bitch, but I can still smell her beta sent. Her hands are lifted in the air.
She has taken a step back, giving me space.

“It’s ok, kid. I am not touching you.”

I take a breath, even that hurts.

“I want to leave,” I manage to say in a somewhat normal voice.

“Like hell, sit the fuck down Milkovich.”

Its not the lady who says it, she looks over at the voice the same time I do. I huge ass Alpha, shoving the bastard out the door, looks back at us.

“Now!”, he adds, face gruff, it wasn’t a command, but pretty dam close.

It still make my legs wobble the smallest bit. I can’t do that now, I can’t do that with these people here. I go to the couch in the living room, and fall in to the corner of it.

They don’t have to know what happened. They can’t tell. If I don’t say shit they won’t know shit. This thought is all that I cling to as both officers come in to the room and, over to the couch, to look down at me.

I don’t avoid eye contact. That would be dead giveaway. They both stare down at me, looking me up and down. I know I look like shit. Bloody, beaten, shit.

“What did you do to piss him off so bad?”, the giant blonde alpha asks me.

He smells like pepper and smoke. It doesn’t mix with the lady beta, who smells like light cinnamon and vanilla.

This guy must be an idiot, I think, because honestly everyone knows it doesn’t take much to piss off that asshole. And it isn’t like I can tell this cop the truth. So I just go with sarcasm.

“I was born.” I answer in a flat tone.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

Apparently, as a minor, I don’t get to decide on whether or not I press charges against my father for beating the shit out of me. The police decide that for me. I don’t say shit about what else happened, or has happened.

He is already going to be pissed at me, because of course this will be my fault. Like I chose any part of this life. And I am sure he will be back in a week to beat the shit out of me again.

Terry left in a cruiser pretty quickly. He just got out of county two days ago, on parole as usual. He missed his first meeting with his PO this morning, and didn’t answer his phone, and because he is Terry Milkovich, the PO and police didn’t waste any time coming over for a visit.

I guess, in a way, I am lucky. At least I have a few more days without him around. When these fuckers are done interrogating me, I can get to the pharmacy and steal some more suppressants and sent blockers. I hate taking them, I know they are probably rotting my uterus and kidneys, but the more my sent is gone the more that bastard will leave me alone. Besides, with a father like Terry, if I ever have a kid I might as well sign a death warrant for me and the brat.

The tall Alpha cop called for the paramedics as soon as Terry was carded off. If I had to guess, I would say that only in the Southside can paramedics give a diagnosis of injuries for court files. Whatever, it’s not like I want to see an actual doctor. My sent isn’t too strong right now, but it is stronger than I would like. And, a doctor would touch more, ask more questions. I have been pretending to be an alpha for almost three years now. No way am I getting outed by some fucking doctor who can’t mind their business.

The paramedics get the job done. A mild concussion, obvious contusion to my face and arms, a broken nose, and bruised ribs. I kept my sweat pants as high as I could without being obvious. The bruises on my arms and wrists don’t cause too much alarm. But the bruising I know is blooming on my hips and thighs, would give them an actual story of what happened.

They cannot know that shit. No one can know.

I watch the paramedics signing off on some paperwork with another cop, loading up their truck to leave. Just as I am about to thank god this is finally over, that beta cop comes over to me followed by the alpha fucker.

God I am done with alphas today.

I stand straighter and look them in the eyes.

“What now?”, I say in a tone, that I hope, sounds as pissed as I feel, and as threatening as I don’t.

“Calm down Milkvoich.”, the alpha says.

I read his shirt, Markovich. I know his name, Tony Markovich, he is from Southside. He use to hang around my with my brother Jamie, and I have seen him sniffing around Firecrotches older sister. Southside or not I don’t like him. He is too tall, and he keeps bumping out strong commanding sents, and looking at me hard and challenging. He is trying to get me to submit. Like fuck I am doing that. Most omegas would fold like a bitch. But, I have been around assholes like this my whole life, I ain’t no bitch.

“What else do you want pig?”, I snarl back at him.

That may have been too much…

Officer pig growls down at me, and I swallow down the urge to cower. The beta cop steps in.

“We have to take you down town Mikhalo.”

“What the fuck, I didn’t do anything! What do you think I beat the shit out of myself?”

“I thought you said you fell.”, Tony says.

And fuck because I forgot about that. Before I can panic too much the beta speaks up again.

“No Mikhalo, you haven’t done anything wrong. We need to take you in for photo evidence. It wont take too long, I promise.”

“What do you mean photo evidence?”

“We need photos of the injuries to your face and body for the charges being drawn against your father.”

People taking pictures of me, of my body? This day has been shit enough, I don’t need to add this to it. What if they see the other bruises? What if someone scents me? What if someone touches me..?

My eyes shift to the side, needing a break from their stairs. I shift them back quickly and snarl my lip, about to tell these fuckers where they can go, but Tony cuts me off.

“Just get in the car Milkovich. We will be done fast and get you back home.”

His voice really is too commanding to ignore. But, I cant give that away too easily. So I spit at his feet as I walk by him to his car.

“Fucking fine, but I want to be home BEFORE dinner.” I snarl as I pass. It isn’t like I have a choice.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three

Fucking fast my ass!

I’ve been here for fucking hours. A room full of alphas and betas talking over the charges against Terry and taking picture after picture of my face and body. It’s fucking humiliating. I had to take my shirt off, in front of all of these assholes. Get my photo taken with it off. I am not some kind of prude but fuck I hate felling naked.

At one point the camera man walked off and went to the beta cop from earlier. He told her something and then her annoying ass came over, fucking baby wipes in her hand. Fuck knows where they came from. She pulls out a handful and puts them in my hand.

“Can you wipe yourself off a little, we need to get a clearer image of the bruising.” She tries to speak quietly when she says it.

“Maybe get your arm pits while you’re at it!” Tony yells from his place across the room, and all of the alphas snicker.

Fucking assholes.

I looked down at the handful of wipes. I don’t care that I am dirty and smell like BO. It makes people look away a lot faster, they don’t stand too close, they don’t try to search out an alpha scent.

A part of me wouldn’t mind having hot water at home so I could take a nice shower for once. But it isn’t like I want to look good or smell good for assholes like this. Maybe for Firecrotch. Maybe I wouldn’t mind if he saw me looking cleaner or some shit, maybe letting him smell my actual scent. But whatever, these fuckers can look somewhere else!

I throw the wipes on the ground.

The beta takes a deep breath through her nose.

“The dirtier your skin is the longer the photos take.”

She hands me another wipe.

More than anything, I just want to my shirt back on, I just want to go home. I want this day to be over.

I start wiping my face off, wincing as I go over my swollen eye and broken nose. The wipe is browned up pretty quickly, the beta hands me another and as I start wiping the other half of my face I feel her run another wipe down my arm. I jump, startled, moving slightly away from her.

I am about to tell her to fuck off, but she speaks before I can.

“Sorry, we just want to get out of here, right?”

I look off to the side. I do want out of here, but I also do not want her touching me… But, an Alpha wouldn’t care about a beta wiping them down, would they? Am I acting like a bitch if I don’t let her? Fuck I fucking hate my life!

“Whatever”, is my reply.

I try not to react as she quickly goes over my arms, chest and torso. My pants still as high as possible, but she doesn’t say anything, thank god.

“Are we done, can we fucking do this now?”

“Maybe just,” and she reaches to clean my neck, but I back away quickly.

She looks me in the eyes then, and a I can feel my cheeks warming. Why would she try to touch my neck like that! My fucking glands! I know there is bruising there, they think the asshole tried to choke me. I guess he did, but his main want was to clamp down on my glands and make me submit. Because being a fucking omega comes with cool tricks like that. Holding glands doesn’t do that to any other designation. I am just that lucky. HA.

I take the wipe from her hand. “I’ll get it.” My sent blockers should still be strong enough that lightly cleaning my glands wont make too much of a difference. Plus, you know, the BO doesn’t hurt.

God, I just want to go home. This is too much. The longer I am here the better the chance of someone scenting me, someone noticing a bruise too low down. Or hell, just questioning the neck bruise too much.
I just want to get home! My urge to whine like a bitch is getting stronger, I don’t know how much longer I can hold it in.

I finish wiping my neck, and toss the dirty wipe at a trash can near by. I keep my eyes down, voice a little to quiet, but I keep the sneer, as I say “Fucking take the pictures already”.

The photographer comes back over and I lift my face. He’s an alpha, scent strong and Smokey. I look him in the eye, and raise my eyebrows.

“This should work,” he says to the beta.

“I am so glad,” I answer. “Now could you take this stupid fucking picture!”

“Watch the attitude Milkovich,” Markovich responses back in a loud firm voice.

Again, he is too commanding without really trying, and I try to hide how easily I comply.

As the photographer starts snapping, I hear the group of pigs gossiping. They really want to build a case against my old man. I don’t know why they think anyone would care about him beating the shit out of me. I am his kid, and we are Milkovich’s, a name synonymous with white trash and jail time.
If I told them what actually happened, maybe he would get some real time. But, probably not. No one actual cares about poor South Side omegas.

The photographer has me lift my arms, then hold them out. I turn around for photos of my back. He takes photos of my bruised stomach, and ribs. With each snap I remember the day and how horrible it felt to have the bastard hurt me like this again. When the photographer asks me lift my neck I growl, which, luckily, is taken a natural alpha response, and not an omega tired of being fucked over.

“I’ll make it fast,” he says to try and calm me.

“Do it Milkovich,” Markovich booms.

I am so tired and caught up in how shity this day is, I do it without question.

I look toward the ceiling but I still catch sight of a look cross the photographers face. That isn’t a natural alpha response, to respond immediately the way I just had. But luckily he seems to shake it off, and he snaps the picture. A quick side eye glance across the room tells me no one noticed. Not even Markovich. I still bite at my lip, anxious to get out of here, and helping to keep any bitchy whiny noises from escaping.

When they have finally gotten all of their photos and I am able to put my old dirty hoodie back on, they lead me back out to the lobby of the police station. They have wooden benches facing the large glass door and old widows. It’s late February, so its cold as fuck outside and the cold air is coming in through the cracks and crevices of the old building. Markovich and the beta tell me to wait, and they will get me a ride home shortly.

I stand by the benches, my ass still hurts from the beginning of this horrible fucking day, I don’t want to sit on a hard surface for god knows how long. So I stand and I wait. And wait. And wait.

I am cold, I am sore, I am hungry! On the opposite corner of the pig pen, there is an Omega waiting area. It is its own room, with a door and sign above it, saying Omega’s Only. Just looking at it I can tell its warm inside. I’ve seen at least five people come out and get in taxis the police have called for them. All of them came out eating a snack or drinking a soda. And, they have blankets, scented blankets! They smell like new born pups, I am no bitch, but fuck I love that smell. I try not to look at the door to the room, because I honestly would sell a kidney to just be able to go in there and wait for a ride home. To feel warm and pampered for just a minute. To feel like someone gives a fuck.

I’ve been in the lobby for hours. I have asked when the hell I can get a ride home multiple fucking times. Each time they just tell me to wait, they are working. I’ll have to go to the clinic tomorrow morning, which means I can’t shower, and I have to sleep with the feeling of the bastards hands on me, of his dry pre come still inside of me. It makes me smell like him… I just want to go home.

Markovich walks back into the pig pen and starts talking to on of the cops at the desk up front. I haven’t seen him sense he dropped my off. I walk over and try to look like a frustrated alpha, not a pissed of omega.

“Hey Fuck Head, when are you getting me back home!!!!”

“Fuck, Milkovich, why are you still here?”

“You told me you would get me a ride home ass face!”
“Watch your language.” He says back. He looks at his watch. “Listen Milkovich, its almost 2 am, no taxi is going to come get a kid from the PD and drive him back home to South Side.”

He just looks at me, like that is an answer to when I will be getting home.

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean Markovich? You said you would get me a ride home!”

He looks out the window, to where it is snowing!, and looks back at me. “Well you could always walk.”

My face hardens. Is he serious? It’s snowing, cold as fuck, and all I have on is pair of thin sweats and an old ratty hoodie. I live at least 15 miles away from this fucking place. Not to mention my current face that lets everyone know I recently had the shit beat out of me, which will just let other assholes think they could do the same thing. That fact alone mean I can’t set foot on the L.

“I would be walking until lunch time tomorrow! You SAID you would give me a ride!”

“Well we got busy Milkovich. Why are bitching so much anyway. Just call some one to come get you.”

“I don’t have my fucking phone asshole!”

He reaches down and grabs an old landline phone and puts it up on the police counter.

“There.”

I look at the phone, I don’t really know anyone’s number. Well, besides Firecrotches but I am NOT calling him. He would come, probably be able to snag a car even, but he would also have five million questions that I don’t want to answer. I just stair at the phone.

“It isn’t that hard Milkovich. Just call your mom.”

I look up at him. I know my face goes hard. I knew being a cop would make him an asshole, but this is a different level. He knows, EVERYONE in south side knows, my mom is dead. She has been dead for almost ten years!

“Fuck. You.” I spit at him and walk to the door.

I hear him talk to the cop that was next to him. “What’s his problem?”

“I think his mom is dead Tony.”

“She is?” I hear him say in response as I open the station door and storm outside.

That fuck head knows my mom is dead. He was there the day it happened. He had been hanging out with Jamie and Collin, I had tagged along. When we got into the house the paramedics had been zipping up her body bag. But I still saw her stiff blue body, with eyes that stared off and saw nothing. She overdosed on Terry’s supply. But, he doesn’t remember that, he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it. Because know one cares about south side omegas.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

I try not to think about how much my life sucks too often. I know it sucks, even if I am flunking out of school, I know I am not dumb. My life is heading one of two ways, in jail for the rest of my life or dead in a ditch. Most days I think, that besides Gallagher, it couldn’t get much worse. But, after walking only five fucking miles in fucking freezing ass weather, only having my gross old sweats on, I know how fucking miserable my life really could be.

I’m so cold that even my teeth are cold, I am a little worried I might loose a toe to frostbite. But, I know I am having real issues because I can’t stop thinking about Firecrotch. Like, I just really wished he was with me. To be honest, I have been thinking about him sense I was in the police car on the way to the station. Thinking about his stupid fucking eyes, how fucking green they are. His ugly freckles that would have been nice to be distracted by today. Or his alien ass red hair, its kind of like a camp fire, with that weird orange red. He is really warm too. I never let him do it for long, but he always tries to hold me after we get done fucking. He is really warm, and it feels pretty nice. But if I told him that or he knew I though that, I could never live it down.

I wish he was here right now though. It would be nice to be warm. It would be nice to feel him, instead of the ghosts of that bastards paws all over me.

God you’re being a bitch Milkovich, just fucking walk! I tell my self. At least 10 miles to go, and there is no way I am camping out in a building tonight, I would definitely loose a toe. Luckily no one has bothered me yet. I’ve only seen about five people, and the scowl on my face has kept them staying the fuck away from me.

Then I see it. A BMW cruising down the road passes me, then slows down. I keep walking, but I can hear it flipping a bitch in the middle of the road. I look back and see it coming toward me, pulling up to the curb.

As I pick up my speed a number of thoughts go through my head at once. I can’t cross the street, they are in a car, there is no median to slow them down, they’ll be to me before I could get on the other side. I look to the other side and there is no clear ally to run down. I don’t really know this neighborhood anyway. I can’t just run because it will show weakness… Fuck my life. I am going to have to fight whoever these fuckers are. I am not excited, I have no bat, Im still sore from this morning.

Don’t be a bitch Milkovich.

I stop and stretch out my neck and arms as I turn around to face these assholes. As I start to turn I hear it.

“Mickey?”

I know that voice.

My stress leaves my body so fast I feel light headed. I can’t stop the smile that climbs up my face as I turn all the way around.

There he is looking as goofy as ever. Goofy and strong, has he always looked so strong? I know he has grown and filled out more lately. Trust me I have been paying attention, but dam. I just want his arms around me, holding me close and blocking out every other fucking thing.

With that thought I calm myself down. I straighten my face. I may want him to hold me but he and everyone else around doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh my God, Mickey that is you”, he says as he comes closer to me. The passenger side door of the BMW is still open, and after staring at Ian for another couple of seconds, I see one other person, what looks to be a tall alpha, driving the car.

Gallagher is finally right in front of me, standing so close I am forced to look up at him as he stares down with a confused look in his eyes.

“Fuck Mick, you’ve had some bruises before but this is bad.”

I look down and to the side, grateful its just him right now, that its so dark out, I don’t have to hide my true responses to him right now.

“Mick, who got you?”

I don’t answer, I just shift on my feet, staring at his shoulder.

“Are they still after you, are you safe right now?”

God, in two seconds Red will want US to call the cops, just because he is worried. I kind of like someone caring that much.

Before he can get anymore worked up I say, “ I am fine Red, chill out.”

“Chill out, Mickey you’re out here walking in the cold, your eyes pretty much swollen shut, your nose is swollen, your limpi…”

“I said I am fine Red.”

“Who did this?”

“No one, isn’t not a big deal.”

“Mickey, who did this!”

Gallagher has never tried to command me. But every once and awhile he says something with a little to much command, and I find myself wanting to fall to the floor and do whatever the hell he says. So he doesn’t have to say it again.

I look up at him, I’m not use to the feeling, but I want him to be happy. I want to please him, so I say it. Just one word.

“Terry.”

His eyebrows scrunch and then straighten.

“Your dad did that to you?”

I look away. I don’t want to say the words.

“Fuck, come on, you can come back to my place.”

I raise my eyes to see him walking back to the BMW. I still don’t know who the fuck else is in that car, but its Firecrotch. It will be ok. So I walk behind him.

He opens up the passenger side door and holds it for me, but feet away I can still smell a strong, perfumed alpha sent. I scrunch my nose and walk past Gallagher pulling the back seat open and sliding in slowly. At least the cushion feels nice on my bruised and sore ass

Chapter Text

This car is nice as fuck. Smooth ride, nice interior. And the heating is amazing. Ian is sitting right in front of me, and his sent is washing back to me. It is so easy for me to tip my head against the glass and close my eyes. I think Ian’s scent is my favorite thing in the world. It’s like woods smoke and leather, it smells warm and safe. No one else smells like Ian.

“Wow wow Mick, its just me,” I draw my hand back after swinging it at whoever just touched me. I know the voice.

“What the fuck Ian?”

I hear him chuckling at my response, and I scrunch my face. My swollen eyes and nose throb and it brings me back to this never ending fucking day.

When I look around I see Red holding the car door open, his house just past the sidewalk he is standing on.

“I fell asleep?” I never fall just fall asleep wherever. I need my own bed. My own scents around me.

Whatever.

“This is real fun, but if you could get out of my car now I would appreciate it.”
I look over at the alpha still sitting in the drivers seat.

“Calm down Jimmy/Steve, we’re going.”

“Jimmy Steve, what the fuck kind of name is that?” I ask as I get out of the back seat.

“A made up one.” He says as the car drives off.

I look at him, raising my eyebrows. “Made up name, stolen car, anything about him real?”

“Hell if I know. He is with Fi, lied to her, told the truth, came back. Who knows with Fi and her “boyfriends”.” He tells me as he we walk to his front door.

“Must have a great dick.”

Red recoils, “Mick, that’s my sister.” He shakes his shoulders like a dog shaking off water.

I laugh, god he is funny. I never laugh as much as when I am with Ian.

“Come on he says,” opening the door.

I have spent the night at Gallagher before. We’ve been doing, whatever we’ve been doing for about six months. At first I stayed as far as away as I could, while still appreciating what he has to offer, mainly his nine inches. But he fucking grows on a person. And when he came over to my place and I had no power or heat and it was fucking freezing, he made me come over to his.

Besides his bitchy older sister and brother it isn’t so bad. Because he has 500 people in his room and sleeps on a twin size bed, I always sleep on the couch. It looks weird enough to have two alphas hang out as much as we do. If I slept in his room let alone his bed, word would could get around. And I don’t need that shit. Hell, if I slept in there Lip might catch my scent, it would probably still take that idiot another week to figure out I’m not an alpha.

Everyone is always saying how smart that douche is, but he isn’t that smart. Sure he is book smart, street smart I guess. A person doesn’t grow up on the south side and not know some shit from the streets. But life smart, people smart? Fuck no. He is as dumb as they come.

Ian is smart. Everything smart. And no one fucking notices because of that douche bag.

“You want a blanket?” Red asks as we walk into his house.

He always asks, I usually turn him down. Not tonight.

“Sure.”

He doesn’t pause, he walks to the closet.

“Wait,” I say before he reaches it. “I want one of yours.” I say as I look down at my feet.

I can tell he is thrown off by that, but he only pauses a second. Then he is heading upstairs and before I know it he is back to me with his twin size comforter in his hands.

When he hands it to me I take and sit on the couch. I act like its nothing. I wait until he does an awkward wave and heads upstairs to his room, then I lay back on the Gallaghers nasty old couch and pull the blanket up around me. I breath deep. I have a few hours until this house turns in to Grand Central. But at least I get this before that happens.

Of course, about 20 mins later, and right before I start to nod off, the smell of trash and vomit comes wafting my way. I panic at first, forgetting where I am and thinking it’s Terry. But then I hear Frank stumble over something and curse to himself.

“Frank.”

“Who the fuck are you?,” he asks as he heads for the couch. “Never mind, I don’t care, just move over.”

Before he sits on top of me, I stand up. Taking my blanket with me, and start to move away.

“Wait, give me that,” Frank says as he reaches for my blanket. Fucking knew he would.

“No.” I say as I head upstairs, easily avoiding Frank.

I hear him guffaw and curse me under his breath. “Mmmmm couch smells good.” He whispers and I curse him, and my lack of scent blockers. I definitely need to get some ASAP.

I don’t think about what I am doing or where I’m headed. This day has sucked. I have had some bad fucking days in my life but this one is up there. So, I don’t care what anyone in this house has to say about what I am doing tonight.

I open the door quietly and go over to Ians bed. I take off my shoes and nudge his shoulder.

It takes two more times nudging him before he looks up at me. Before he can say my name, I’m laying down next to him. The bed so small I have no choice than to wrap myself around him. I’m too tired to pretend I care. Ian is frozen in place but recovers quick enough, wrapping himself around me in return.

He is so damn warm and comfortable. Ian always wants to hold me and cuddle and hug. I shut him down every time. Well most of the time. I know I can’t have Red forever. What we have is a right now thing. But this right now, makes me wish so hard that wasn’t true. It makes me wish I could hold on to him like this every night.

“He is in your bed now.”

Of course Lip fucking Gallagher’s voice wakes me up.

“What do you care Lip?”

“Ian, don’t you think you’ve taken this far enough. Two alpha’s? What the fuck can you get out of that?”

“It’s none of your business Lip. Just leave it alone. And keep you mouth shut.”

Lip doesn’t respond and my money is on him making a stupid fucking face.

“Lip, I am asking you to stay out of this and keep your mouth shut. Please.”

Ian is too damn nice.

“I wont say anything, but let it be known I think this is a stupid fucking thing to do Ian. Milkovichs are nothing but trouble and you know it.”

“Ya ya. Now get out before you wake him up.”

I hear Lip leave, then Ian does for a second too.

I breath in Reds pillow and roll over looking at the empty room. I can hear his family downstairs. Loud as hell as they eat breakfast. The Gallaghers, the Norman Rockwell’s of the south side.

As I start to get out of bed Ian comes back in. He is freshly showered, in a towel, hair wet. Because the room is empty and I can, I take it all in. I smile up at his giant ass as I stand. His stupid freckles all on display. As I look him over I wonder if I could ever have enough time to count them all.

“Hey,” he says quietly and puts his arms around me, pulling me in. He kisses me, I definitely kiss him back. God his kisses. I held out on this for so long and I hate myself for it. Everything about kissing Ian is perfect.

His hands move down my back, and they press up against one of my fresh bruises. I try not wince, but I pull away.

“I gotta get going.”

I look out the window, there is fresh snow and even with running heat Reds house is still cold. Having some more layers on for the day would be nice. Having Ian’s scent when I visit the clinic would also be really nice.

“Can I barrow some clothes?”

“Sure,” he answers easily. “My stuff is in the top drawer.”

Before I take the two steps it would take to get to the dresser, I pause waiting for him to leave the room.
He doesn’t, of course he doesn’t.

“You want a take shower?” He asks. Definitely thinking about more than a shower.

I look down and shake my head.

“I’m pretty sore from yesterday.” I answer honestly.

“I’m sorry Mick, I shouldn’t have”

I cut him off before he can finish. “It’s fine. But… would you mind… could you get out while I change?”

“Oh, ok.” He shakes his head yes as he turns for the door.

When he closes the door behind him I turn to the dresser and open his drawer. He can’t see the bruises that tell the real story. And I want these sweats off. They smell like the old bastard. They smell like the two of us together, even after Ian holding me all night. I smell like shit half the time, it’s the only reason Ian didn’t notice. He probably has smelled me like this at least a handful of times. He doesn’t realize its from Terry, and not from the general filth I attract.

I find an outfit that will work. I take off my hoodie my pants half way down my ass when the door opens.

I am pulling my pants back up and going for my hoodie so fast I hardly notice it’s Red.

When I have the hoodie back on I look back at him. His face scrunched in confusion.

“What the fuck?” My breath still coming fast and my heart pounding.

“Where did you get those bruises Mickey?”

I look past his shoulder “I told you.”

“You don’t get bruises on your hips and ass and thighs from Terry getting pissed at you Mickey.”

He says it coldly. He is mad. Really mad.

“Gallagher I am not doing this. I don’t know what you’re getting at but I am not doing it today.”

I go to move out the door but he blocks me.

“You and I both said we would only sleep with each other.”

“I know. I am not doing this. I didn’t do anything wrong. Now move!”

He doesn’t move, and I can’t look at him. “Move, please…”

“I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you would do this. We were really starting to be something, but you just had to go slut around didn’t you!” His words sting. I have been called horrible things by a lot of people. But this cuts me to the bone. I know its his alpha acting up, I hope it is, but god…

I stay where I am, not moving, frozen. I can’t handle him being mad at me.

“Really, you got nothing, you can’t even come up with a with anything to defend yourself. You really don’t care about me, about us!”
“I…I do…” I whisper. But I choke on my words coming to my defense. What do I tell him without telling him the truth. I can’t tell him the truth. I would rather die than say what really happened.

“I can tell Mickey. I can really tell how much you care.” He is breathing so hard.

“You need to leave.” He says.

I look up at him. His eyes are on fire. He breaths in deep and I can see the moment he realizes what I smell like. Not the dirt and filth. But the mix of two people. He smells the sweat and fluids left behind and dried onto me.

“Now.”

“Wait Ian,”

“No, I don’t want to hear it Mickey. This was the one thing I said I would walk on and I meant it.”

I shake my head.

“Get out Mickey.”

I know he means it. He is done. He said no else, no one but him. I had no problem with that. I pretended I did so I wouldn’t look soft, but I didn’t care at all. I realize now how much I cant loose him.

“Plea..” before I can say anything he is interrupting me again, telling me to leave. His voice so close to a command my knees shake. I feel the last of my resolve break. I become truly desperate.

“Alpha,” I plead my head down and pulled to the side exposing my neck. I am submitting. I have never submitted to anyone before.

I hear him growl and my knees shake so bad I can’t even try to hide it.

“You have something to say then say it.” It’s a cold response, but at least he is giving me this.

But what do I say. I can’t. He’ll, he will never want me again. But he doesn’t want me now.

I open my mouth and choke on my words. I can’t say it, I can’t say what he did to me.

Ian starts to get agitated again, I know he is about to tell me to leave. I push for words for anything.

“I didn’t want to…”

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean Mick. God, come on. You expect me to believe this. What did Terry catch you, that why he was so pissed!”

“NO… Ian… I was.. I didn’t…”

“God Mickey I can’t listen to you searching for excuses…”
“It’s not excuses Ian. Please…” I finally look up at him, I look in his eyes. He is still so mad, so hurt. My guilt rolls in my stomach, I am causing this pain.

My words are still choking me but I reach for anything that can explain this to him. He has to know I didn’t mean to hurt him.

I choke and stutter but finely my voice finds a word.

“Terry.” I whisper.

“Ya, Terry beat the shit out of yester…”

“No.”

“What then?” He asks sharply.

“Terry.” It’s all I can say.

“Mickey I am..”

“Terry.”

I say it loader and look into his eyes. I can feel the tears starting to spill over, but I don’t make a move to whip them away.

Ian’s eyes change, I can see him start to understand.

“Are you, you’re saying that Terry..”

I cut him off, I don’t need to hear him say it. “Terry” is all I say again and I have to sniff now, my face getting ugly with emotion.

“I didn’t want it, Ian, I swear, I never wanted.”

And suddenly angry Ian is gone and it’s the Ian I know in front of me. His eyes going soft, but still hurt.

“Mickey.” He doesn’t know what to say and neither do I. We just stare at each other for a moment.
His scent has taken over the room. A mix of dissipating anger and sudden warmth.
Before I can stop it he is pulling me toward him into hug. And we just stay like that breathing each other in.

I guess I get him for a little bit longer.

I don’t know how long we hug, it feels like two seconds and two hours all at the same time. Him whispering “I am so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Soon enough we hear Fiona calling him down.

“Breakfast and school, now Ian!” She screams, it seems to be her only volume.

He takes another moment and then we let go. He kisses my head.

“Get changed, meet me down stairs. I’ll save you some banana pancakes.” He offers a weak smile.

“I love banana pancakes.” I answer with a sniff.

“I know.” And he hugs me again, before turning and heading down stairs.

As I turn I take a deep breath. I just told Ian… Ian knows…

“Fuck.”

Chapter Text

I take an extra minute after I am dressed in Red’s clothes. I sit on his bed and just breath. Yesterday is over. I have to get to the clinic but after that I don’t have to deal with this drama. At least for like another four mounts, or until that bastard gets out of jail again.

I’ll be fine.

I take a deep breath of the room and Ian’s clothes. His brothers scents are all over the room too, but to be honest they don’t bother me. They all smell like Ian at least a little. Even Lips obnoxious scent is sort of similar to Ian’s. I stand up and listen for anyone coming up the stairs and then walk over to the youngest brothers crib. Even Ian doesn’t know it, and he is close to knowing everything, that I love his smallest brothers baby scent. I don’t know why, its just makes me feel calm, maybe a little happy. I don’t know. All together the Gallagher house smells pretty good. Way better than the Milkovich house that’s for sure.

When I have finally have had enough I leave my old clothes in a pile of laundry and walk down the stairs to the kitchen.

I hear Red talking to Fiona.

“I work too Fiona, I contribute, and if I want MY FRIEND to have some fucking pancakes than he can! Just like Vee can come over all the damn time!”

“That is not the same! And, excuse me for being wary of the Milkovich that’s been lingering around this house for months Ian.”

I don’t wait to listen for what Red will say. I don’t really care about Fiona being pissed that I am here either. I only care what Red says I can do or can’t do. Well in this house, I’m still a fucking person, I can do what I want with my life. So ya this dumb bitch can fuck off. I am eating those pancakes.

I stroll in like I never heard them and take the plate of pancakes out of Red’s hand.

“Yum, banana pancakes, may favorite.”

I take the plate to the table and sit next to who I assume is Vee. Ive seen her at the Albi sneering at my old man, not that I blame her for that. I’m pretty sure she is ghetto married to the giant who runs that place. I take an obnoxiously large bite on purpose and chew with my mouth open. She leans away from me.

“Thanks Firecrotch.” I add shoving another bite in my mouth.

Fiona rolls her eyes but Red just grabs another plate and comes to sit next to me.

“So who did you piss off?” The obnoxious fucker Lip asks.

My eye and nose is still swollen and I am sure I look even more bruised now then yesterday.

Fiona scoffs and asks, “Are they still looking for you, because if you bring shit back to my house”

Ian cuts her off, “No one is looking for him calm down Fi.”

I keep chewing. I’m not going to think about yesterday, or the fact that Ian knows what really happen. I just keep chewing obnoxiously and taking too large bites.

“This shit is good!” I say honestly.

“Thanks, I woke up early to make them.” The little sister says. She looks the most like Red, and reminds me of Mandy when she was younger. When Mandy use to try to cook meals or do anything to try and make our house seem like a home, not that it ever worked.

I look over at her and smile, “Thanks little Red.”

She smiles at that and takes a bite of her own plate. I can feel Red smiling next to me.

“For real though who beat the shit out of you?” Lip asks again.

“No one important.” I respond followed by a loud and long belch.

Vee makes a disgusted face, so does Fiona, and gets up from the table walking over to her friend.

“You are disgusting Milkovich. Honestly have you ever heard of bathing?” She says as she fills a mug with coffee.

I just take another large bite.

“Dirtiest white boy in America.”

I usually don’t give a shit, maybe its because Red is right next to me, but this time the words sting a little. I keep my face impassive, but I remember the few times Ian has tried to lean in and take in my scent only to lean back quickly.
Whatever. I can’t do anything about it, especially when I have to get to the clinic. Which reminded me I need a ride.

“Red let me use your phone.” I say holding out my hand.

He pulls it our of his pocket and gives it to me without blinking.

I pull up Mandy’s number and dial. It rings and rings but she doesn’t answer.

“Bitch.” I mutter as I hang up and try again.

After three times of her not answering I decide I have no other option because there is no way I am walking to the clinic.

I dial in Iggy’s number, and when he doesn’t answer I decided to call Jamie. He will be the most dramatic about all this shit, but he is the most likely to answer.

Sure as shit after the fist ring it picks up.

“Who the fuck is this?”

“It’s me fuck head, I need you to come get me?”

“Joey?”

“Joey has been locked up for 8 months you idiot.”

“Oh, hey Mickey. What the fuck do you need a ride for?”

“Just come get me.” I say. I’m still at the table, the rest of the Gallaghers talking around me in there usual loud ass voices, but I still don’t need them to hear me say I have to go to the clinic.

“Fuck fine. Where am I going?”

“Gallagher house?”

“Gallagher, like Fiona’s place?”

“Ya, hurry up and get here?”

“Wait didn’t Mandy say you like one of them, did you get laid?”

I freeze for a moment. I’m not use to talking about this shit to my brothers. They know but they don’t. They give me a ride to the clinic when I need one. They aren’t deaf, at some point they’ve heard shit. They’ve seen bruises.

The only time the topic really came up was when Tony walked in the house one day and threw a packet of suppressants. I had run out and it had been a few days. I couldn’t steal them from the stores around me so sometimes it took awhile to get away from the neighborhood and palm them from a corner store. The bastard had already paid me two visits sense I ran out. So Tony threw the packet at me and said “Just say when you need more.” And that was it. They give me rides to the clinic and they give me suppressants sometimes. It’s not like they could do much more.

Terry is in charge. Terry has the connections and brings in the money. If he is gone the money is gone. And if any one of them came out and said it, said that I was, or confronted him, if Terry ever heard anyone even imply that I was not an alpha, he would sell my ass in two seconds. He might be a bastard, but there are worse scenarios I could be trapped in, and that asshole knows it. We all know it. So I am stuck playing alpha, that bastard doing what he wants when he wants, until I am 18 and can legally get the fuck out.

So ya, my brothers asking about someone I “like” doesn’t really happen.

When I don’t respond Jamie says, “Just fucking with you brat. I’m headed over, see you in 20.”

I hand the phone back to Red.

“Thanks.” I say. I take a deep breath, the loud voices suddenly bothering me more than before.

“You want a smoke?” He asks leaning in slightly.

“Sure.” I answer.

He tilts his head, leading me outside to his back porch. It’s still cold as fuck but its better than being around all the shouting.

Red lights the cigarette and takes a puff for himself, then hands it to me.

We stand out there for a few minutes before he says “I’m sorry for this morning.”

“Can we just forget about that?” I ask not looking at him.

“Mickey, I was an asshole…”

“Just forget it.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed, I shouldn’t have called you anything, I should have listened from the start…”

I can tell he is looking at me, but I wont match his gaze.

“I’m sorry Mickey. I’m sorry for the way I treated you, and…I’m… I’m sorry about what you told me.”

Now I definitely don’t look at him.

“You can stay here whenever you need to…” I continue to look at my feet. “I know Fiona says shit but it doesn’t matter. We can go get your stuff right now if you want. Or Mandy can bring stuff. I just… you shouldn’t stay there with him. It’s not safe…”

Finally I stop him. Because he is too nice to me and I cant stand to hear it anymore.

“Firecrotch don’t be such a dramatic bitch, I am fine. And besides Terry got locked up again, so I’m good for awhile anyway.”

“When did he ge”

“Yesterday.”

I finally look at him, and I know he isn’t done asking. Once Red gets going on shit it doesn’t stop.

“God Red,” I sigh “He was wasted. He missed his meeting with his PO so they came over to see what was up. The cops caught him beating the shit out me. So they took him to lock up. And before you ask,” I look pointedly at him now,” that was all they caught him doing.” I whisper.

He takes that in, and I think we’re done. But then he asks something I wasn’t expecting.

“I thought… I thought he didn’t know you were a…a…”

“He doesn’t.” I say looking at my shoes.

“Mickey, come on.” He says quietly.

“It’s just… He… He is always wasted when he…. When it happens.” I’m so quiet I don’t even know if Ian can hear me. “I think… I think I smell like my mom. That’s why he or why it started. He was wasted and he smelled it and… I don’t want to talk about this Ian.”

“That’s why you use so many suppressants?”

“No. Well, sort of, its just… It’s complicated.”

“Then explain.” He says.

Still looking down and away I feel his hand reach out and barely touch mine. His voice is so strong and so concerned. Without much thought I slowly continue.

“He is always, well usually, really wasted. And he never talks about it. He never brings up that I’m…That I’m not an alpha. As long as everyone pretends he will leave it alone. Having an..an…”

“An omega,” Ian offers when I cant say it.

“Ya, having an… omega son, and having everyone know, he wouldn’t tolerate it. Ian he would sell me…”

“Mickey, you cant know that.”

“I do!” I say finally looking at him again.

“He use to say it about Mandy before she presented. And she’s a girl! If I, If he thought people would talk about me, no way would he let me just…live.” I took a deep breath and said my final piece.

“I don’t want to be someone’s bitch Ian. Locked up all day until some scumbag wants to use me. I would rather die, which is the only other option if Terry ever heard someone say.. you know.”

“Mickey, that wont happen to you.”

“Damn right.” I answer, taking the last drag of the cigarette and throwing the butt into the yard.

Just before Red could say anything else, the door to the porch opened and Lip leaned out.

“Milkovich, your brothers are here.”

Chapter Text

I feel like I am usually pretty good at getting a feel on situations, getting a good read of a room, mainly knowing when I need to get the fuck out. But I definitely was not expecting to find four of my five brothers in the Gallagher living room. Because fuck.

I glare at Jamie, and I know I am more pissed off than I should be. I also glare at Iggy. Because I called that fucker first and he ignored me. I haven’t seen these fuckers in at least a month, and now they are all in Ian’s fucking living room to give me shit and probably check out Fiona. Why so many Alpha’s in the south side are drawn to her slutty ass I don’t know.

As soon as they get a good look at me though, they loose the smirks they half had on their faces.

“Who the fuck got you?” Joey asks.

“No one, lets go.” I say heading to the door.

No way do I want to hang out and have any part of this conversation in the Gallagher living room.

“I don’t get why is he so dirty, none of them are that gross.” I hear Vee say from the corner of the room, talking to Fiona, who just giggles in response.

I ignore it, but just like at breakfast it stings more than it should. Probably because I do feel dirty right now. I want to shower. I want to just smell like me for one minute of my life. But, I can’t. So I just keep walking to the door.

I can hear Joey though, ready to say something back, but as I open the door everyone gets a shock when Tony Markovich is standing, hand raised ready to knock. He isn’t in his uniform, and he looks around the room, searching and spoting Fiona quickly.

“What the fuck?!” I say and the same time Fiona says “Tony, hey what’s going on.”

She puts a smile on her face that only looks half forced.

“Sorry, I just saw your visitors and thought I would come check to make sure everything was ok.” He says as he looks over at my brothers all standing or sitting in the middle of the living room. And giving me a dirty look as well.

“Hey, fuck you.” Collin says in response, after a few moments. They can all take a minute to catch on to insults. To be far most people wont insult a Milkovich to their face.

He ignores Collin and looks me up and down.”Mickey, your bruising looks even worse now. Maybe we should get you back in for more photos.”

I can feel myself pale at the idea of going through that again.

“By the way, I talked to the prosecutor and they think they can land Terry with at least six months.”

“What the hell are is he talking about Mickey?” Jamie asks as he walks over to meet me at the door.

As I am about to answer with “nothing” and push through the door, Tony stops me by answering first.

“We locked Terry up yesterday. With these charges and the right judge we should be able to lock him up for awhile.”

“His old man did that?” I hear Vee whisper, “Damn.”

Now Jamie, and Iggy are next me. Collin and Joey standing near by looking at their shoes.

Iggy looks at me, then looks around, contemplating something. Finally he says “Na chomu vony yoho spiymaly?” – What did they catch him doing?

Iggy never speaks Ukrainian. Well hardly ever. And we never speak it outside of the house. Ukarainian is Iggy, Mandy and mines first language. Our mom was from the Ukraine and had a hard time with English. My older brothers, who had a different mother, would try and help her out with sometimes, teaching her a few words in english, and they picked up some Ukrainian, but nothing like me or Iggy or Mandy. Terry hated it and use to beat our asses if he heard us talking it to each other after our mom died.

“B'ye moyu dupu.” – Beating my ass. I respond.

The room is quiet. Tony looks like his head is about to explode. I don’t look behind me but I hear Lip whisper, “Do they have some kind of gibberish language only Milkovichs know?”

“Tse vse, shcho vin robyv?” – Was that all he was doing?

“Tse vse, na chomu vony yoho spiymaly.”- That’s all they caught him doing.

Iggy looks pretty mad. It takes a lot to make Iggy mad. His scent is getting stronger in the room. A quick look at my brothers and I see they’re agitated as well. Their scents growing with Iggy’s.

“YA dumav, shcho tse kinetsʹ. Shcho v bisa stalosya, Mickey.” - I thought this was over. What the fuck happened Mickey.

I don’t answer because how can I. I just want to leave. And I am getting pretty pissed at Iggy for asking this shit. Does he think I wanted this?! Does he think that Omega’s want to take it so bad they would want this life.

“You boys wont to fill me in on this conversation?” Tony says. Of course the pig wants to start digging. He is just looking between the two of us, clearly interested that we may be sharing dirt on Terry.

“Shut Up!” Iggy and I both yell at the same time.

“Skilʹky chasu mynulo z tykh pir, yak vy pryymaly svoyi preparaty dlya prydushennya?” - How long has it been since you took your suppressants?

“Fuck you.” Now I am really pissed. But his face shows he is pissed to.

“Yak dovho?” – How long?

I look down. He can probably pick up on my scent. I feel humiliated, and pissed that I feel that way too. No else has to feel bad about their scents. No else in this room has to hide theirs with the suppressants and B.O. and filth.

“Kilʹka dniv.” - A few days. I answer, wanting to look down but I can’t right now, because it would be too weak of a response.

“Chomu... Chomu vy dozvolyly tsʹomu statysya?” – Why… Why would you let that happen? He is still pissed, so are my brothers, and I hate it.

“Chomu Mickey?”- Why Mickey? He says, the edge of a command to his voice.

I glare. “Tomu shcho meni dovelosya platyty za opalennya.” – Because I had to pay the heating bill.

Iggy stares, looking confused “shcho?” – what?

He was never as good with Ukrainian as Mandy and I, even though he had so many more years with Mom.

“oplatyty rakhunok za elektroenerhiyu.” – Pay the power bill.

He still looks confused. “shcho?” – what?

I breath out harshly. His scent is still strong. I can feel his anger coming off of him. And it just makes me more pissed.

“I had to pay the heating bill. I couldn’t buy that shit because I had to pay the power bill!” I answer in English.

“Buy what?” Tony says but we ignore him.

“You could have asked one of us Mickey.” Iggy says.

“One of you? Really Iggy? How exactly would that have worked.” I glare at him.

“I haven’t seen any of you for a fucking month. Its the middle of fucking winter, Mandy and I are the ones stuck in that house. Excuse me for not wanting to freeze to death in that pile of shit!”

“You could have asked…you know what he is like” he says again.

“FUCK YOU IGNATIUS! DON’T YOU DARE BLAME THIS SHIT ON ME!” I yell, laying into him! “I am not to blame for his shit. I didn’t fucking ask for this! I had to fucking choose between that or freezing, just like I have to choose between food and running water! Your asses aren’t there to help, Terry sure as hell isn’t going to! It’s up to fucking me! So fuck you for blaming his shit on me when I just want to fucking live.”

Iggy’s face has paled. He looks away from me, off and to the side.

“I didn’t mean it like that Mickey.”

“So what your saying, Mickey, is that your father has been neglecting you?” Tony asks. I forgot he was still at the door. I sort of forgot where I was at all. Now though I can feel Ian beside me, not to close but close enough that it does make me feel a little better.

I look up at Tony, my face flushed from anger and embarrassment.

“Your mom, she is dead right? So its just you and Mandy making ends meet? I think maybe its time we call in some help?” The asshole is feigning concern and I hate him.

“Fuck you Tony, mind your business.” Jamie says, and it surprises me.

The room is full of tension and scents and its driving me crazy.

“Let’s go.” Joey says and pushes his way through Tony and door. My brothers and myself following behind. I want to look back to Red, but I can’t. An alpha wouldn’t do that.

I hear Vee as we are leaving say “That was some good fucking drama.” Fiona laughing…
I hate them…

I get in the car with my brothers, an SUV that I am sure is stolen.

“Mickey, you know we don’t blame you for… for that… shit. That’s all fucking Terry.” Jamie says.

“Ya right.”

“We don’t.” Iggy and Collin say at the same time.

I look out the window. Wishing this was’t my life.

“Can you just drive me to the clinic please.” I whisper.

Jamie puts the car in gear and starts off down the road. We don’t talk anymore.

The clinic is the usual experience, invasive and it hurts a little too. I hate it, but it’s necessary. The state offers free ra..assault kits for omegas. If you come in within 24 hrs and get tested that and any std medication you may need is free too. If I had to get an abortion it would be covered as well. I haven’t had a heat yet, so the risk of a pregnancy is almost zero. But that almost is scary enough to make me come. Plus its anonymous, even when you enter, you’re sent to a single exam room right away. No one sees me or knows my name here.

The one nice thing is that I am an omega here. I don’t have to pretend. And the nurse, my usual nurse, Rachel, she is the nicest person I’ve ever met. Well besides Red. When she sees me today she gets a sad look in her eyes, but smiles and gets me a blanket that smells like a new born baby. I don’t have to ask her, she knows what calms me down.

Before I know it she is done and I’m back out in the car driving back to the Milkovich house. I try not to think of how the house will smell like Terry.

Yesterday is over, and I can move on.

Chapter Text

The ride back was pretty quiet. Iggy tried again to try and explain himself or some shit, but I didn’t want to hear it. I was done talking about any of this. I had them drop me off out front. Jamie had parked the car to come in, but I told him to fuck off. He had taken a deep breath and said “Okay Mickey, we’ll be back later.”

Like I fucking care. I got out of the car and flipped them off as I walked up the sidewalk and into the house.

The front door is never locked, because who the fuck is going to break into the Milkovich house. It’s not like there is anything worth stealing anyway. When I get walk through the door I am surprised, the house doesn’t smell like Terry, or plain trash either. It also looks a little bit cleaner than before.

Then I hear the back door slam shut and Mandy runs into the living room and straight over to me.
She wraps her arms around me and for half a second I let it happen, squeezing her back taking in her beta scent, a mild vanilla. Then we both think better of the situation and push each other away.

“I called you like three times bitch.” I say, making my face hard.

“My phone died. Sorry.” Is her response.

“When did you get back in?”

“About two hours ago…Ian got ahold of me.”

“Hmmm.” Is all I say. I’ve never actually said I’m with Red, but she knows, just like I never had to tell her I was an Omega, or what that bastard does… I never have to tell her because I know Mandy and she knows me.

When a guy is an ass to her I take care of it, and when the house smells like Terry on one of his worst nights, she cleans and opens the windows. That’s the thing about my family, my siblings, we aren’t good at saying shit to each other. Terry beat that out of all of us real fast. So no, we can’t say nice things or helpful things or fucking loving things, but we show them. We do shit for each other. Mandy and me especially. I’ve got her back and she’s got mine.

I look around the room a little more, take in how clean it is, and look back at her.

“I’m taking a shower.”

“Fucking finally ya smell like a ten day old trash.”

“At least I don’t look like it.” I say back as I walk to the bathroom. I hear a pillow hit the wall beside me as I go.

Our hot water heater is broken, so the shower isn’t hot but it gets the job done. When I’m finished and dried I put Red’s clothes back on. It was so nice to have them with me at the clinic. It’s nice to have them now. I pick up my scent blocker, I hide it in the very back of the cabinet beneath the sink. Scent blockers don’t work that well on me, my scent is pretty strong. Well I guess it is, I’ve never gotten to really let it just be. But I do know scent blockers alone don’t work for me. In a pinch, scent blockers and BO will get me by, like they have for the past few days… I guess it doesn’t really get me by.

I’m just so sick of it. Suddenly I’m just so done. I grip the roll on bottle in my hand and I want to smash it on the floor. But this shit cost money, and I have to leave this house at some point. So I put some on, and leave the room. In a perfect world, someday I could walk out of the shower and go roll around on my bed that’s piled high with blankets and pillows. That perfect world is pretty fucking far away though.

I fall asleep on my bed, the sheets were new and the blanket washed, and I’m gone before my head hits the pillow.

Voices outside the door wake me up. I laugh when I recognize Firecrothers voice. I’m up and out my door pretty quick.

“Firecrotch?” I say as I see him in the living room talking to Mandy.

“Hey Mick.” He says as he stands from the couch where they were chatting.
He and I both walk to each other and then pause just a tiny feet away. Both of us remembering that Mandy was watching us from the couch.

I’ve never told her, and she knows, and she’s doesn’t care, she does’t treat me differently. Suddenly, for right now, I don’t give a shit who sees us. I miss him, I want his scent. I want his touch. So I catch him by surprise and wrap myself around him and breath in deep. He doesn’t hesitate, he hugs me back so fast I know I never had to question whether he would or not. And he breaths me in too. My scent hiding under the blockers, but the suppressants have left my system by know, so scent is much more noticeable.

Ian stays with Mandy and me for the day. We watch TV, and eat the box mac and cheese Mandy makes. I don’t leave his side the whole time. He always wants to cling and today I won’t let go. Every touch makes me feel lighter and happier. When we ate I got the bowls ready brought them out. When I gave Ian his I felt so good I smiled. Like a real fucking smile. But I turned before he or Mandy could see it.

We had to kick him out after dinner. I was tired anyway, and if he spent the night Fiona would shit a cow. He said he would be back tomorrow and I didn’t even tell him to fuck off when he said it.

When I walked away from the door Mandy caught me smiling, her own face smiling in return.
Then she turned and said,” You’re doing the dishes Fucker.” And she walked back to her room.

I sleep in the next day and wake up hungry as shit. When I walk to the living room I try not to be surprised to see my brothers sitting on the couches together.

I take a minute to process this. Then I say “Hey Fuckers, loose your way to the crayon factory?”

They stare at each other. Then Collin looks at me, eyebrows furrowed and says “No.”

I don’t bother explaining the insult.

“What do you want then?”

Did you look in the fridge, Iggy asks raising his eyebrows.

I walk back in and open the fridge. I find at least ten packs of orange jello, a ton of snickers bars and beer.

“Sweet,” I say as I grab a snickers bar and walk back into the living room.

“Where did you lift it?” I ask the group.

“Kash and Grab. We got you these too.” Joey says as he throws the packet of suppressants onto my lap.

I grab them and quietly say “thanks.”

“What do you fuck heads want?” Mandy says walking in from the back door.
I am going to guess Red filled her in on the crap I said at his house. Or what I said in English anyway.

Iggy takes a breath and looks at me.

“Mickey, I know it sounded like I was blaming you, but I swear I wasn’t.”

“Just stop.” I say, “I don’t want to talk about this shit.”

“No listen.” Jamie says. He is my oldest brother, its always been hard trying to ignore him.

I look back over at Iggy.

“I swear, I know you didn’t ask for this shit. I was just mad that it happened again. That he did it again! I never meant to make it seem like I thought it was you!”

“What the fuck did you say to him asshole?” Mandy asks.

“It doesn’t matter.” I say as Iggy says, “I shouldn’t have said it like that Mickey.”

“What…” Mandy starts again. But, I say loudly “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT.” As I stand to leave the room.

“Mickey wait.” Joey says. “Listen we know we haven’t been the best big brothers but we can do better!”

“How are you going to do that?” Mandy says sarcastically.

She and I both know that they really sucked as family members after they left home. And that’s saying something because we have never been a great family unit!

“I don’t actually know ok.” Joey says. “But, we can show up. And…and distract Terry…”

I lift my eyes to the ceiling. Like anyone can do shit to Terry.

“Oh please you all worship the ground he walks on.” Mandy says to them all.

She really does have bigger balls than me.

“We can try!” Joey says.

“You could do a lot more than try.” Mandy says. “If this were some rando family down the block you would line up to bash Terrys brains in.”

They are all silent at that. Family is blood but money is King. At least to these assholes.

Iggy looks around uncomfortably. “If we can get in with the cartel, we could…we could take care of Terry, and get you two enough to get the fuck out of south side.”

I look at Iggy my mouth hanging open, Mandy’s is too. No one has ever talked about getting rid of Terry.
“We talked about it last night.” Jamie says. “We just need an in.”

“Tony is locked up with someone who might be able to help.” Joey says next. “It might just take a little while. But, hopefully we will can make a deal soon and get a job done before Terry gets out. Then you two and get out and we will take care of the rest.”

“We would have done something sooner, we just…well we thought it might upset you Mickey?” Collin says.

“Why the fuck would it upset me to get out of this shithole?”

“Well because… Terry is your… your…”

“He’s your alpha isn’t he?” Joeys says.

I stare, not even being able to think clearly. “What?”

Collin looks at the others and continues, “ He claimed you, if he is taken away from you, you might, ya know… kill yourself.”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!” Mandy shouts.

I continue to stare at my dumbass brothers who don’t know the difference between being claimed and someone hurting you in the worst way. My brothers who think omegas are so weak they need an Alpha to live. My brothers raised by Terry Milkovich himself.

I don’t shout. I say calmly,”You can’t claim someone doing what he does. He never claimed my mom. Our mom Iggy. He hurt her, and forced her into a marriage with no way out. She didn’t die because he was away in jail, away from her, she died because that was her only escape and she knew it.”

I keep my eyes focused on them, even when I feel them filling up with tears I wouldn’t let fall.

“Kill Terry. Or don’t. I’ll get out one way or the other.”

And then I get up and leave the room, I leave the house. I just start walking. Without thinking I have started toward Red’s house, and about half way there I see him walking toward me.

“I was going to yours.” He says as we stand in front of each other. He gives me a look that I know is asking if I am okay.

“It’s crowed at mine, lets go to yours.”

And we do. We go to the Gallaghers and sit in the living room. I play video games with Red for the rest of the day. We eat pizza pockets and drink soda. We even make out on the couch for awhile. When I say I’m not up for anything else, Ian just goes back to kissing. And I don’t think of shit once. Right now is good and that’s all I care about.

When Red’s younger brother and sister arrive we sit up quickly adjusting ourselves. Soon after they are through the door Lip and oh god, my sister follow. I would do almost anything for Mandy but why she decided to latch onto that idiot alpha is beyond me. His only redeeming quality is that he smells a little, little, bit like Red.

“Hey Ian, hey ass face.” Mandy says in greeting.

“Hey Skank.” I return.

“Too far Mickey.” Mandy says gesturing to the younger kids sitting around the kitchen table in the other room.

“Oh, hi to you too Mandy.” I say looking over at her like she just got here. I will give her a minute to catch the sarcasm.

Lip catches it fast enough making a face and letting it pass.

I had moved off of Reds lap but we are still pretty close. But I don’t move, because fuck it. I like being closer to him. It’s not that fucking weird. So even though Lip is sending us looks I don’t move, I stay where I am while the three of them talk shit and we all share some cigarettes and beer.

A while later even more people join the Gallagher circus, filling up the house. Fiona and Jimmy/Steve, Vee and the Giant Kev, and the little baby.

I scoot back from Red to the other end of the couch.

“Oh God there are two of them now!” Fiona whines like a bitch when she spots us.

“Fi.” Red says warningly.

“Whatever,” she responds and walks upstairs with the baby.

Kev walks over from the kitchen to the living room. His alpha scent is crazy strong. All smoke and whiskey. It makes me want to back away with how much room it takes up. I suddenly wish I had on more than my scent blocker and my dirty clothes.

“Terry really did that to you kid?” He asks, referring to my face that still looks like shit.

I just shrug. I think its best to keep my mouth shut around so many random alphas. And so I do. Jimmy/Steve orders pizzas for everyone. Red is sure to request pineapple because he knows its my favorite. It helps me forgive him a little more for that time he hooked up with Jimmy/Steve’s dad, back before we agreed only each other. Jimmy/Steve doesn’t even know. I hope I see his face when he finds out!

The whole group talks and talks. The pizza gets here and they talk and eat and talk. It kind of drives me nuts, but hell my brothers think I couldn’t survive without the asshole who has been ra…I can’t think about that.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Red asks me.

I look back to him and shrug my shoulders.

“Maybe Ill come over and hangout at yours tomorrow.” He says but not quiet enough.

“Like hell you will.” Fiona says at the same time I say, “You can’t do that.”

I don’t notice that the others have quieted and are listening to our conversation.

I don’t wait for whatever Fiona was going to say. The past few days stress must be weighing on me because without thinking I say, “You have to get to school. You already skipped today. Plus you have the new drill to run at ROTC. You can’t miss that shit.”

I see Red start to make a face, finding a way to stay with me tomorrow. “You’re going to school Firecrotch stop trying to fight it.”

I hear Lip scoff and I look around and realize what I’ve done. I shut up again and taking an large bite of my pizza.

“Sense when do you care about school Milkovich. How many grades have you failed now?” He asks.

I roll my eyes and don’t respond. Taking another too large bite. I can see Fiona out the of side of my sight. She looks like she someone just told her Frank was elected president. Whatever, I can care about Firecrotch if I want to.

“So,” Lip continues, speaking to me,”what language were you and Iggy speaking the other day.”

I see Mandy look up at that. You get the shit beat out of you enough for speaking for your first language and you tend to have the reaction.

I look at Lip and take another bite.

He looks at Mandy, and I already know it’s a lost cause.

“Do you know.” He asks her.

She looks back at me. I know she wants to say it. Speaking another language will make her look smarter in his eyes. Why she likes this fucker I have no idea.

I look away from her and she knows its my way of saying whatever.

“It was probably Ukrainian.”

“Where did you learn that?” Lip continues to look at me.

“Our mom taught us. She was from the Ukraine.”

“Lara is from Fillmore street.” Fiona says mockingly.

I turn and glare at her. “Lara isn’t our mom.” I say, getting pissed off. “Lara left Terry when Collin was four. My mothers name as Yanna. You met her, at least a few times.”

Fiona gets a confused look on her face. Obviously trying to remember meeting some mysterious Milkovich.

“That quiet girl with dark hair and blue eyes?”

“She didn’t speak English very well.” Mandy said in our dead mother’s defense.

Fiona forehead scrunches, obviously thinking. “But, she was like a teenager and you guys would have been like at least 3…”

I look at each other. I don’t want her to disrespect my mom though, it wasn’t her fault.

“So, people have kids young.”

“Ya, well that would be really young.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Terry wanted her to have pups.” Its not like an omega has a choice when the alpha decides its time for pups, everyone knows that.

“Of course you would be ok with your Terry deciding that for your own mother.”

“I never said that!”

Fiona looks me up and down, “Of course you side with your father. You Milkovich are all alike. No wonder she offed herself”

My feel my face pale and then go red with anger. How fucking dare she. I want to rip her apart. I want to pull out all of her hair and spit in her face. I want to step on her stupid fucking face!

“Fiona that fucked up!” I hear Red say. He reaches for me but I am already leaving. Any shit that family has to say I don’t want to hear. I don’t even have to wonder where Mandy is, she is right beside me as I swing the front door open and get the fuck out.

Red caught up on the second to last step down the porch. His face flushed with how angry he was, I know its meant for Fiona. I know he would never talk about my mom like that. I also don’t want to talk about this. I take a breath and before he can say anything I say, “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
And then Mandy and I left.

I don’t know why I said that to him. I hate school. But I knew he would want to see me. But, it does have its upsides like hanging out under the bleachers, where I can make out with Firecrotch. After that the day feels a lot nicer. I even go to math class.

At the end of class everything goes to shit, because its still my life and so what else would happen when I have an okay day. With ten minutes left in class I get called down to the office, where I find Mandy waiting as well. We look at each other silently saying “what the hell” to each other. Then the principals door opens and out walks a social worker. Once you have seen one social worker, you’ve seen them all. They stick out like a sore thumb.

My old man has been in and out of prison my whole life, when I was nine we went into care for about six months. I wasn’t with Mandy, or Iggy, or Collin. I didn’t see my older brothers at all. I missed them so dam much it hurt. My dad only worked to get us back so that he could get more welfare money.

Mandy and I both get up to leave, because like hell we are going through this. The secretary bitch locked the door to the office, so we couldn’t leave. And then the social worker tells us what’s happening and I try to keep my heart in my chest. We are going home to pack. Mandy will go with my aunt Randie, because she doesn’t want her to go to a home, they can be dangerous for a beta. I get to go to an Alpha boys home, which is just juvie for kids who haven’t done shit. I’m glad my aunt Randie wants to protect Mandy, but this is the one of the only times I’ve wanted to actually admit what I am. The idea of being trapped in a giant cell with 50 alphas and no scent blockers makes me feel sick. I have to run! I can’t let this happen.

As we are walking down the hall way, we see Red come out of the gym. He has on his ROTC gear, he must have just finished his new drill. He looks at the social worker and then at us.

“Mickey.”

I don’t say anything but he knows me well enough to read panic on my face. I can try and run, but they’ll still try and find me. And its not like I have anywhere to go.

I shouldn’t be surprised by this though. After all this isn’t the first time in my life I’ve been fucked over.

Chapter Text

“Do you trust me?” That’s what Red said before he ran off. The annoying part is I do trust him. I just have no idea what he is thinking.

When he had stopped us in the hall he was fast to ask what was happening. I honestly didn’t have any words, but Mandy filled him quick. The social worker was over our stop pretty quickly and had us moving along. Going back to the house to collect any personal items.

I feel like I might throw up. But I keep my head high and my eyes forward, because this isn’t over yet. I don’t know what to do but I have to do something.

We drove over to our house in the social worker car. He said his name at one point but I wasn’t listening.

When we pull up there is a police car parked outside. Mandy and I look at each other not knowing what to expect. But we get out of the car and head inside, because we still want our shit.

Of course its Markovich and the beta bitch inside, looking all over the house, along with some other asshole dressed like another social worker. What I would love to do is run into my room, grab the one blanket I like and hide in the back of the closet until everyone leaves and this is over. But I’m sure as hell never going to do that or tell anyone that. This is not the moment for me to act or look weak.

So I make eye contact with Markovich and ask “What the fuck is happening?”

He rolls his eyes like Mandy and I are just some dirt on his shoe and we are inconveniencing him.
“It was recently discovered that you father was neglectful and that his two youngest children were left without a caregiver. We are here to collect evidence in the case we are building against him.”

Mandy and I both look at each other, I know what she is thinking, how much Markovich would love to hear the full story and get Terry on even more charges. But like hell that’s happening if I can help it. Especially now. Because Alphas are recognized as legal adults at 18 while omegas are recognized until 21! I am definitely not staying in the system that long.

Markovich and the social worker who picked us up start to go back and forth on our timeline for this trip. Markovich wants statements and he wants us to get our shit and get out. Mean while the other two continue to nose around our house. Mandy and I just left standing and watching.

Then it happens. The front door swings open and Ian comes rushing in, eyes scanning the room quickly until he finds me.

“Mick I figured it out!” He tells me in an proud voice. And right as he says it the door opens a little wider and in walks the Vee bitch.

I feel my eye brows raise, very confused why this is a good thing and not just adding to the chaos.

Red looks over to the social worker he met before.

“Sir this is Vee Ball, she wants to take Mickey in.”

“Well now, there is a lot more a person needs to do to be a foster parent than just want to help a child.”

My eyes want to roll at being called a child. I haven’t been a kid in a long time.

Vee steps over to me, she seems out of breath, like maybe she ran here. She looks me up and down and then right in the eye. I wonder if she can tell my relief at getting my eyes away from the others. She doesn’t change anything about her face saying she does. Instead she puts her hand on her hips and says,”Three roles – One, no drugs or trouble brought into MY HOUSE that means you respect me and Kev. Two, no omega whores in MY HOUSE, Three, you clean yourself the fuck up, I am not getting dirt and that smell all over the fucking place.

I look to Red confused but he has that happy look son his face, like he just solved a math problem no one else could., or some shit like that. He nods to me, obviously listening to what Vee had to say.
“You can take it or leave it Milkovich.”

I look up at her knowing Ian wants me to agree with whatever the fuck she is doing so I say,”Okay.”
Okay is all I say in response.

Vee takes this as a well enough affirmative because she moves right to that social work and begins to talk about her and Kev’s foster license. I didn’t fucking know they did that!

Before I know it the social worker is shaking his head. “All right, that can work. Looks like you have yourself a Milkovich.”

I pale again. I head for the bathroom and when Markovich asks me to stop I jut flip him off and say “I gotta piss.”

When I am in the bathroom I shut the door and get down into the cabinet beneath the sink, reaching to the very back where I have my stash of the heat suppressants and scent blocker. I hide them easily enough in a pocket. Then I flush the toilet and head back to the group.

“The whole place is contaminated, the kids can’t take anything with them.” I hear the extra social worker telling the beta and Markovich.

“What?” I ask as Mandy declares “This is bullshit we can wash stuff!”

“What is happening?” I repeat.

“This pigsty really is a festering with bugs and germs. That’s what’s happening.”

I still have a confused look on my face.

“It means I am taking you shopping. Now. You cant take anything my place ain’t getting fucked up with bugs!”

“No questions?” I ask to the room.

“Not now, there is too much shit to do. Mr. Rise I will meet you at my house in one hour, and you better have the money to reimburse me for these clothes!” Vee says as she leaves. Turning around when I don’t follow and saying, “Come on kid.”

I turn to Ian. “Make sure Mandy gets to Randie’s place?” I hear Mandy scoffing but I would rather be sure. He nods and I turn to Mandy. “I’ll call you skank.” I know she will be ok, but we both look at each other worried. But I just raise my eye brows and turn around. Heading out to follow Vee.

I have no idea what I am doing but this is better than the Alpha boys home I guess and I have my ‘anti-omega gear’, so really what is the choice. I follow Vee and hope for the best.

Chapter Text

We had to walk all the way to the fucking Alibi to get Vee and Kev’s car. I didn’t walk right next to her, I had just taken my suppressants for the first time in a few days and I wanted to be sure she couldn’t smell any bit of my scent. When we walked into the bar we saw Kev THE GIANT, how is he so fucking big, standing behind the bar cleaning a glass. He gave Vee and I a weird look, before asking what was up. She walked over and started talking to him a low voice. Ha I didn’t even know she had one of those.

“No fucking way,” Kev said as he looked over at me standing at the bar. He gave a goofy smile and said,”I have a son!”

Some of the regulars looked toward me in confusion. No one doubts who’s kid I am.

I rolled my eyes and looked out the window on the other side of the bar. Honestly sharing a house with Kev doesn’t make me feel amazing. Or great at all. I mean I’m not scare or shit but, the guy is a huge ass alpha, bigger than Terry. If I wanted to stop him from doing anything I would get my ass handed to me for sure.

I try to contain a shiver just thinking of how easy it would be for him to hurt me or… do other things…

“Shut up and give me the keys.” I hear Vee say and I walk out the door before she makes it back to me.

I let her take the lead and I follow her to their car. I worry about which seat to take, shotgun or backseat? I don’t want her to smell me, and if she puts the heater on she probably will. But, an Alpha wouldn’t take the backseat especially with an Omega driving. Vee is already in the car when she rolls the window down. “Get in Milkovich.”

I take the front seat, hoping my BO has become overwhelming enough to hide the fact I took my first suppressant in few days, just about and hour ago. I was fine at school, sitting away from people, my reputation enough to keep people away. Sitting right next to someone makes me want to bolt. But, I have to do this. I have to be with Kev and Vee for however long this lasts because I have no other option.

From the corner of my eye I see Vee make a face and pull further away from me.

“God Milkovich, you are taking a shower TONIGHT!” She says as she rolls her window down slightly. “And, you are using deodorant from now on. Add that to my rules.”

I keep my face toward my window. I don’t know why her words seem to hurt when I don’t give a fuck about what other people say. She smells sweet, like almonds and honey and peaches. I don’t mind her smell. It actually mixes nice with Kev’s smoke and leather smell. When they are together it smells like a nice home on a sunny day, or some shit like that. People have smelled worse. But, no matter how much their scents don’t stink, I do not want to shower at their house. The scent thing, being naked, does their bathroom door lock? It’s too much.

‘Don’t fucking panic. You have lived through worse. You’ll figure it out.’ I tell myself. Though I have no idea how.

We don’t go anywhere fancy to shop. We end up at Good Will. Maybe, deep deep down there is a part of me that would like to go shopping for new clothes. To get things that fit me, that don’t itch and give me rashes, get a pair of jean that fit over my ass and still fit my waist. But, that’s not something I get to do. I wear all of my brothers hand me downs. Sometimes Mandy will steal some new underwear or socks for me at Christmas time, but that’s as much as I do clothes wise.

So, when we head in the door I try to act like I am use to this shit. Like I have definitely been in a clothing store in the last 10 years sense my mother died. But, it is huge. The clothes look nicer than anything I usually wear. When I see a section with Omega Men’s clothes I look away fast.

Omega Men’s! I bet those clothes are soft! And… Don’t do this. I cant have that, live with it!’

“Earth to Milkovich.” I hear Vee saying and I look toward.

“What size are you? I can’t tell under you giant disgusting clothes.”

I look away to hide my face after her comment. And for what I know is coming next.

“I don’t know.”

“Fuck, I don’t want to do this all day. What size?”

I look toward her but past her face, raising my shoulders in a shrug.

She rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“I swear to God Milkovich, if its this hard in the first fucking hour I am not doing this!”

I worry a little at that comment, bitting the inside of my cheek. I eat my pride and say “I don’t know what size. I just wear my brothers old clothes. I don’t really shop.”

She rolls her eyes. “What is the last size you remember wearing?”

I let my eyes fall, pretending I am thinking it through. I do remember the one thing my Aunt Randie bought me once, though it was a long time ago. I still loved it! I didn’t have a jacket for the winter and it was so warm. At least inside the house or at school.

“Once…,” I say with a pause, having to lift my eyes and hoping she doesn’t laugh,”Once my Aunt bought me a hoodie around Christmas time. It was an…an extra small. But, that was a few years ago, and it doesn’t fit anymore.”

Vee stairs at me and rolls her eyes. She starts walking toward the Alpha Men’s section and I follow behind her.

I spend fifteen minutes with her handing me things, and another thirty in the fitting room. The fitting room would have taken less time, but I didn’t want to tell her the jeans she picked out either wouldn’t get past my ass, or were just as huge as my brothers jeans were on me. Apparently it was now unacceptable to wear my pants like that.

“Why is your ass so huge.” I hear her say on the other side of the curtain and I dip my head embarrassed. To be honest I hated my ass until Red and I got together. He likes it, so I guess I hate it less. But I still wish I could fit into a pair of jeans.

After the fifth pair Vee gives up and says, “You’ll get a belt.” And starts walking to the register.

All in all I get five new shirts, three new pants, and some underwear and socks. And a new jacket, that is so warm, and it fits! Vee holds onto the receipt to get reimbursed and I try to make sure she doesn’t see me smiling.

When we leave we drive by the bar again and I switch seats to get in the back as Kev gets in. He is so huge his head touches the roof of the car.

“Hey Mickey.” He says with a goofy smile.

I don’t say anything in return. I just node my head. He keeps staring at me and I’m not sure what to do, so I just hold his stare and keep my face neutral. It goes on way to long.

“You a tough one uh?” He says, his eyes going a little squinty and his eyebrows raising. “Just like your old man?”

I make a face at that, no one wants to be compared to Terry. I am about to say Hell No, but he talks over me.

“That’s ok, I can work though that.” The way he says is so over the top in dominance and challenge that most people would find it humerus. I don’t. It makes me shake a little bit. I have to hid my hands under my legs so that they don’t shake. I want to whine and submit so bad that I hold my breath so I don’t make a sound. Then I look out the window, so I can get away from his eyes without looking down in submission.

I hear him hum and he turns around in his seat, now facing the front.

“Take at easy Kev. He hasn’t been too much of an asshole yet.”

I don’t let myself make a face, because fuck, when was an asshole to her? I know I can be, but I’ve barely talked today!

After that it’s a pretty quick drive back to their house, where the social worker is already waiting.

I am at the back of the group as we walk in the house. The guy introduces himself to Kev, and looks over at me and shakes his head, as if that in itself is him asking how I am doing. It was weird, I don’t even know.

I still take the moment to ask how Mandy is. He said she just finished up getting dropped off at our Aunts house. That makes me feel a little better. I shake my head at that and go to sit on the couch.
But, before I can Vee hollers, “Don’t even think about sitting on my furniture.”

She hands me the shopping bag. “The bathroom is up there, just like the Gallagher house. Go shower and change.”

Shower, with all these people in the house. I start to panic, because her face says she wont hear anything I have to say.

I don’t have a way out, so I keep my face hard like it usually is and turn to walk upstairs. The layout is just like Red’s house so it isn’t hard to find the bathroom. Just like Red’s house there is no lock on the door. I take a deep breath and think fast.

I take off my awesome new jacket, and slip off my shirt, then I turn the shower water on. I lean in and get my hair wet. I get a wash cloth form the shower and wipe down my face arms and torso. The wash cloth isn’t even that dirty when I am done. I dry off and grab my scent blocker that was hidden in my pocket earlier. I apply extra and then change fully into the new clothes, which are itchy as hell. The whole time I keep my eye on the door and listen for anyone coming up the stairs.

I wait another few minutes with the shower running and then head downstairs. I hear them all talking but they stop when they realize I’m in the room. Vee gives me a hard look.

“That was a fast shower.”

I don’t say anything, I just keep looking at her.

I hear Kev start to growl and I look away fast. Making myself look toward him. If I look away from an Alpha’s growl it will give me away faster than almost anything. I squint my eyes at him. Hoping no one can hear or see my heart beating so fast. I hate this, I hate it.

“Kev, calm down.”

“Don’t worry Mrs. Ball, we see this all the time with young Alpha’s and foster parents. I am sure Mickhalio will submit to the challenge in no time.”

Like fuck I can do that. And seriously could anyone say my name right.

“Call me Mickey.” I say to distract from the situation.

He looks away from me and back at Kev and Vee.

“Well Mr. and Mrs. Ball, as I said we don’t know too much about Mickahilos level of abuse. He shows a significant amount of neglect after todays review and the police report shows his altercation with his father was pretty severe. Based on this information your base monthly allowance will be set on level two. If get more information that upgrades the case your pay will increase. And remember if he is too much for you to handle we completely understand, just give me a call and I will get him over to the Alpha Boys home.”

He says it with a smile, never even looking at me as he leaves out the front door.

“You get paid based on how fucked up my life is?” I ask the front door.

“Pretty much.” Vee says.

I laugh to myself because fuck, they would be millionaires if I told the truth.

Chapter Text

It’s been five days and things could be worse. Vee has made me go to school every day. But, I get to see Red every day too. And I would never tell him, but its pretty fucking awesome.

It’s finally Saturday and its not suppose to be too fucking cold today. I’m on my way to go get Red to buy me lunch when I hear Vee call my name.

“Mickey, I told you last night to shower before bed!”

I swear, every day she does this too me, and she still talks about how bad I smell. I mean I do actively try to stay a little dirty, but she doesn’t have to be so rude about it. It isn’t like I love it. But, showering here is fucking risky. I don’t know these people, and the door doesn’t lock! Terry got me enough times while I was trying to clean myself. I learned my fucking lesson.

“I did.” I say as I keep walking to the back door.

“Wait. You are not going out smelling and looking like that while you live under my roof. You go up and shower now.”

“I did last night!”

“I don’t care, go do it again. And actually shower this time. No fucking whore baths Milkovich. You are not getting out of here without actually being clean.”

I groan and look to the door. But, I can tell she is serious and I don’t think it worth pissing her off today.

I don’t say anything I just head upstairs. It is early enough that Kev is still sleeping, if I hurry I could be out before he wakes up.

So I get upstairs and grab the towels I will need and get in the bathroom. I am so impatient I don’t even wait for the water to get warm I just get right in and start scrubbing. Right when I start to relax a little and think I got lucky getting in while Kev was asleep, I hear the knob start to turn. Time seems to freeze as the door opens and Kev walks in. I tuck in on myself and duck down and away from the door and Kev.
My heart is pounding in my ears, my stomach immediately starts to turn and I want to RUN, NOW. But, I stay tucked in and away.

“Oh, ha sorry Mickey.”

I hear Kev say. He laughs to him self and I hear him pissing. I still don’t move.

“You ok man?”

I can’t even answer him. What the hell. ‘But… but…’ I tell myself, trying to stay strong, ‘I have to do this. I can’t look weak. I have to say something!’

“I’m fine, would you get the fuck out!”

“You don’t look fine. You loo..”

“Get out!” I say now with more force.

“Okay, okay.” He says and I hear the door close.

With my heart pounding and blood rushing in my ears, I say fuck it to getting the rest of the soap off of me and get the fuck out of the shower. I throw up in the toilet and hurry and get dressed. I don’t even know where I am going I just want out of the house.

I rush down stairs and head for the door but Vee jumps in front of me. I barely control my breathing and I know my face gives away something is off but she just looks my up and down with a critical eye.

“You still look like shit, there is soap in your hair. Honestly did no one teach you how to bathe.”

I could say something rude back, even give her my usually dirty look. But, I just want out of the house.
So, without looking her in the eyes and in the quietest voice I have used in a long time I ask,”Can I go, please.”

I can see her shift, like my response caught her off guard. “Okay. Be back by six, we’re eating at the Gallagher’s tonight.”

I nod my head and go to the door, forgetting my coat and anything else not attached to my body at the moment. I get outside and away from the house, but I still feel on high alert. Like at any second Kev or some other alpha will jump out at me.

I spend the rest of the day with Red. I don’t answer any questions about ‘what’s wrong’. I just keep close to Ian and try and calm myself down. I can’t panic like this every time an alpha makes me uncomfortable. I just don’t know how to calm down and stay safe at the same time.

A few days after ‘shower incident’ Vee stops me before I head out the front door for school.

“Hold on Milkovich, we have an appointment this morning.”

“What fucking appointment?” I answer, and then immediately start to worry. “You’re not getting rid of me are you?” I say trying to sound casual about it, but inside my stomach starts to turn to knots.

“No, though with how how dirty you are and how bad you smell no matter how much I tell you to shower, I am still considering it.”

I don’t smell that bad and I am barely dirty. After what happened I haven’t taken a full shower, but Ive made it look more convincing that I have. If I really need to, I’ll find an excuse to shower are Red’s while he watches the door or something. It’s hard enough just using the fucking toilet here, no way am I getting in that shower again.

I try not to show any hurt at Vee’s response. Though her digs still sting even though I have heard a shitload of them the past week. She has also seen my current grades in school, so now I get to hear someone besides my teachers call me stupid too.

After not responding for long enough she just shakes her head and tells me to leave my backpack and get in the car. I really don’t want to go to the Alpha Home so I listen, which seems to supervise here whenever it happens.

She gets in before me and I take amount to decided if I should go passenger or backseat. I really don’t want to hear comments on my scent, but I also don’t want to make her mad by taking the back, which she was the one time I did that a few days ago.

I see her rolling her head to side dramatically and decide the passenger seat will have to do. When I get in she makes an irritated noise and I expect another comment but it doesn’t come. Though she is still visibly irritated. When I asking her what her problem is she kind of scoffs and says something about how lucky I am that she and Kev want this money right now. She says shit like that a lot, and it definitely has me trying to think up ways to avoid the Alpha Home. She and Kev obviously don’t like me, with her constant comments and Kev constantly trying to challenge me, it feels so hostile in their home I can barely sleep at night. Well that makes it hard, and I might be worried about the door not locking too.

I’m pretty sure we aren’t going to social services though. Those meetings aren’t suppose to be during school hours.

After driving for a few more minutes I start to wonder if maybe my dad is out of jail and she is taking me to him. I know that probably is happening but it still makes my stomach come alive with knots, so I finally ask, “Where are we going?”

“Doctors appointments.”

Fuck, a doctors appointment. Why didn’t I know about this! I have been taking my suppressants and blockers but fuck. A doctor could still figure me out fast! Fuck!

I keep my face and voice flat. “Why do I need to see a doctor, I’m not sick?”
“You’re suppose to go to the doctor when you aren’t sick too. Your records are practically not existent. All we have is what the school has provided. Fuck we don’t even have your birth certificate. This is just a visit to do a check up. At your age they’ll just listen to your hart ask a few questions and make sure you don’t have any STD’s.” She turns her blinker on and turns into an office.

The panic is rising a little too much and I start chewing on my thumb nail. I know my eyebrows are starting to go up, a bad habit I have when my emotions get to be too much. I don’t know if I can get out of the car, and Vee already is annoyed with me. When she turns off the car, I know I have to say something because I can’t really move right now.

“I don’t…”

“You are going in the building Milkovich even if I hav..”

I cut her off making my voice louder while avoiding eye contact. “I don’t really like doctors very much.” Especially Alpha doctors but I keep that to myself. The clinic only has Beta or Omega doctors and nurses. “Will they like use needles and shit? Or do will they like, I don’t know, touch me a lot?”

She looks surprised by my questions. “You afraid of doctors?”

“I didn’t say that.” I say scrunching my face up in disgust. Showing fear will only lead to getting your ass kicked in my experience.

Vee sort of laughs and says under her breath,”Well I wasn’t expecting this but whatever.” Then addressing me she says, “It’s just a check up. They probably wont take blood, just have you piss in a cup. They’ll check your heart lungs and reflex’s, and ask you about how many Omegas you’ve knotted and if you’ve had your first rut. Okay?”

Well fuck. I don’t know how to get out of this completely, but all I really have to do is keep them away from my glands, and I should be able to do that. Hopefully whoever the fuck is in there doesn’t notice shit.

After we get inside and Vee gets a clip board I find out that she works here. Which only ups my worries, because what if they talk to her about me? The people at the clinic always say not to worry about that because of some shit called HIPPA or whatever but I’m still going to worry if I want to.

Vee hands me the form and has me fill out my name, but when I take to long with the questions she sighs and takes it back from me. She asks me a few questions but all of my answers, besides my parents names, are I don’t know. So she gets annoyed and puts it down.

I blame the fact that I “might” be panicking a little on how I say quietly, “Sorry.”

She just takes a deep breath as says “It’s fine. We can just talk to the doctor.”

A few minutes later someone lady comes out form a door and announces “Michalo Milkovich” which I guess is me. I stand up to follow and am surprised when Vee does as well. She can tell I’m surprised so she says “Like hell I’m letting you embarrass me in there.” And walks ahead.

Part of me is relieved I might have another Omega with me in a room with an Alpha. But, it’s Vee and I’m pretty sure she fucking hates me. Also, it would be my luck that she just leaves when an Alpha tell me to get naked or some shit.

I hope for the best, not that that has worked for me in the past, and follow Vee and lady who called maybe my name. The take my height and weight right there in the hallway. Then we get taken to a room and Vee tells me to sit on the uncomfortable table/bed while the lady says that Nurse Lake will be back in a few minutes.

I look at Vee, “Nurse?”

“Nurse practitioner, and I don’t want to hear crap out of you about seeing a ‘real doctor’. And, I will tell you now, she is an Omega. If I hear one fucking thing out of your mouth about it I will call up that social worker before we leave this office. Your hear me?”

My face morphs to confusion because I don’t know why she thinks I would say anything like that, or not want to see a nurse. Didn’t I just say I don’t like Doctors…

Before I can answer the door to our room opens. Before I can see her I know who it is. I have smelled her scent too many times, and it should make me think of the bastard and what he has done, but it just makes me think of her.

“Nurse Rachel!” I say surprised.

“Mickey, I can’t tell you happy I was to see your name on my rotation today!”

She comes over to the table and gives me a hug, which I return. I’m not big on hugging or even just fucking touching. But Rachel has seen me at my worst, she has hugged my and comforted me when I thought I was alone in the world. She is the one person I would hug in the middle of the day in the middle of the street and not give a fuck about anyone around. She gives the best hugs. I mean Red does too, but different.

“Oh its good to see you Mickey. And you’re looking good too.”

I dip my head. “Thanks.”

“Hold on, how do you too know each other?” Vee asks, and that’s when I remember she is there at all.

Without missing a beat Nurse Rachel says, “Well, HIPPA says I shouldn’t tell you, but I am assuming you are Mickeys care taker and I doubt it will hurt anything. I’ve been seeing Mickey at the SouthSide Free Clinic sense I started volunteering there about three years ago. It’s nice to see him without so many bruises, and hopefully no broken bones this time.”

I shake my head agreeing, not mentioning that I only ever use one entrance at the SouthSide Clinic, the private entrance designed for abused and assaulted Omegas.

Nurse Rachel goest to the computer and starts looking things over. “Health history is still a mystery I see. I’m going to recommend an allergy panel and vitamin deficiency test. Why not? And, may I ask Veronica, will he be going to the dentist and optometrist as well?”

Vee still looks a little shocked but says yes.

Then Rachel looks to me and asks, “Mickey you are old enough to have this appoint with out your guardian present. I am going to be asking sensitive questions about your sexual history. Would you like it to be just you and I?”

I look at Vee because I don’t want to make her any more angry at me. “Um..”

“Find by me, just don’t be rude!” Vee says as she stands and leaves. Presumedly outside the door.

When the door closes Nurse Rachel looks at me and says, “All this paper work says Alpha. Do you want me to update that?”

I shake my head no and she gets a sad look on her face. “Are you safe?”

I shrug my shoulders. “ I don’t know. I’m safer than I was I guess.”

I guess that’s enough for her. She does ask me some embarrassing questions, but she has also asked me worse so I don’t really mind. She also feels my glands, which she has done before too. I tell her I still haven’t had my heat too. She looks back at my chart and says, “Well if you were really 17 I might worry about that. But, sense you aren’t I’ll ask if you know the signs it is coming? I would also like to warn you of the dangers of taking to many heat suppressants, especially over a long time period.”

I nod my head yes, but to be fair I don’t know shit about heats. I just know I don’t want one.

“You’ll leave the age the same too right?” I may lie about a lot, but I have never lied on the forms at the clinic. I tried my first time, but Nurse Rachel took one look at me and said “15 my ass.” I had felt tears well up in my eyes when she said it and her face went softer. “Maybe 12” she had said. I had nodded and looked down at my hands, tears starting to spill down my checks. She came over to the exam bed I was laying in, she hugged me from the side and whispered “Poor baby” into my hair. No one called my anything sweet like that sense my mom had died. I don’t know how many hugs I had gotten. But that night, that first time, was so hard. I had cried a lot that night and the next day, and no matter how much I tried to forget it I couldn’t. The only nice thing had been Nurse Rachel.

“How you ever fool any one I don’t know. 17 Ha, look at this baby face.” She says squeezing my checks.

I wasn’t the one to start lying about my age, but after presenting I decided to hold onto it as long as I could. Two years closer to 18.

I move my face away from her grip and smile. She moves along on questions easily enough. When she is done I ask. “Will you be my real doctor now?”

“I sure will be Mickey.” And I like that.

“Before you go, I want to talk about your heat.”

At that my face goes as red as Red’s hair.

“Mickey, it will be coming soon. Make sure you’re ready.” I shake my head yes. “You have my number you call if you need me okay?” And I shake my head yes again. I’ve never called her but I know she would help if she could.

She goes across the room and opens the door, sure enough Vee is there waiting.

“He is all yours Veronica.” She says smiling.

As I leave the door frame I smile at her again and say good bye, then pause and put my arms out. Rachel beams and gives me another giant hug. “Sweat baby.” She whispers in my ear for just me to hear.

When we separate she pauses and says “Oh wait here.” She goes around a corned and grabs her purse to bring over. “I have this for you.”

She hands me a card for a plastic surgeon. I looked at her with confusion.

“Very nice gentleman I met a few weeks back. He specializes in tattoo removal. I told him a little about you, don’t get like that,” she adds quickly when I make a face,”he is very talented and he said he would love to take you on pro bono.”

“What’s fucking pro bono?”

She laughs a little, use to my language. “It means he will remove your tattoos for free Mickey, and he will do it well.”

I smile at her, “Really!”

She just smiles again and I cant help but give her another hug.

“All right all right get going.” She says after a minute and pushes me away.

I turn and catch Vee’s face. I know she is shocked by me knowing Rachel but her face looks really fucking stupid right now. Is it so surprising someone like me?

She turns too after a moment and we leave the building and head for the car.

“Am I going to school now?” I ask after we are both in.

“What the fuck was that?” Anger stinging her words.

“What was what?” I ask inching away slightly.

“This whole time I thought you just didn’t like black folks but there you are ‘Nurse Rachel’..”

I cut her off. “Who said I don’t like people?”

She makes a mocking laughing at that, “You are your nazi fathers son.”

Now I am angry and I don’t hide it as I say,” I am nothing like Terry! You don’t fucking know me! Don’t assume you know shit about me because of that asshole and some fucking paper some pig gave you!”

She looks at me, taking in what I said and squinting her eyes. “If you don’t hate black people than why have you been such a little ass to me?”

It is only because I am so worked up that I say the truth. “I’m only rude to you because you’re mean.”

She guffaws at that, “When have I bee..”

I cut her off, tired of this conversation, “You call me ugly and dirty and smelly every day, and stupid! You tell everyone around us how I am the Dirtiest White Boy in America. Its mean.” I look over out the window.

“You don’t even want to sit next me in the car, or at the house.” She says like she is still searching for away to be right.

“Why would I sit next to you, so you can tell me how much I stink?!”

She sighs and I know she is thinking it over and probably going to try and defend her self but I’ve heard enough so I just finish it with, “I don’t want to talk about this.” And the rest of the car ride is silent.

She drops me off at school and I am just in time to meet Red under the bleachers!

That evening we go over to the Gallaghers, we go there a lot, which I fucking lover. I will take any excuse I can to see Red. Even if I have to deal with his family. And Fiona may be a bitch but she makes good lasagna too. Hell, Vee and Kev babysit baby Liam all the time, who I finally definitely know the name of, and when they get distracted I get to play with him and hold him sometimes too. He is really fucking cute and makes the best little animal noises. Not that I am sharing that information with anyone.

That night goes on like most, with me and Red and Lip and Kev in the front room watching TV as Fi and Vee finish up the lasagna, Liam on Fi’s hip. Carl and Debbie setting the table.

Vee has me working on homework, something I never did in my life a month ago. I hate fucking reading it never makes sense. I use to like math but when words got involved I started hating that too. I am trying to read a page when Red leans over and whispers, “Do you want me to read it to you?” I turn red because I have never told him about how hard school is. Then I hear Lip snickering and I turn even more red.

“Shut it Lip” Red says with a bit of a growl.

“Oh you shut it Ian. Come on its funny seeing his tiny brain suffer. I can see the steam rising from here!”
I am about to tell him to fuck off when I surprising voice catches me off guard.

“Philip Gallagher you leave that boy alone.”

We all turn to see Vee standing behind us. “You say one more rude thing to him and I will knock your over the head.”

“God Vee calm down.” Fiona laughs, “It’s not like Milkovichs don’t know their stupid.”

“Kev, get up. Mickey get your books.”

“Vee?” Fiona says as I look at Red.

Vee looks at Fiona with a serious face, more serious than I have ever seen.
“Anyone in this house says shit about him and we are all leaving. Do I make myself clear?”

Fiona looks take aback. But she nods a second later and says “Sorry Mickey.” Then she hits Lip on the back side of the head, and he mumbles a “sorry” too.

Then they are back to the kitchen and Lip and Kev turn back to the tv.

It’s quite in the kitchen but I hear Liam be put down. I try to play it cool when he runs over to me and shouts “Mickey Mouse.” Before giving me a big hug. Of course I hug him back, because he is baby Liam how can you not? And I play it cool as he sits in my lap and I grab the remote and change the channel to National Geographic, because he loves that shit. I also don’t look at anyone, because I don’t want to explain this either.

But I still hear Vee in the kitchen whisper to Fiona, “Apparently he isn’t really an asshole.”

Chapter Text

It’s been a few more weeks, I’ve been with Vee and Kev for a little over a month. I got to school every fucking day, I eat dinner with them almost every night, Vee still tells me to shower every day, but she doesn’t call me names anymore so that’s a win I guess, but Kev THE GIANT is still challenging me every fucking second of the day. They wont let me sell weed for extra money, they haven’t even asked me to shake anyone down. When I got into a fight with Roger Smithson for calling Mandy names they said I was GROUNDED!, though it turns out they didn’t really know what do with that, but I was still shocked they cared. We live in the SouthSide and we are raised to throw hands! Whatever.

We are over at the Gallaghers a shit ton. And that’s fucking awesome. Mandy is there a lot too, and its nice to know she is doing ok and that Aunt Randie is taking care of her.

The downside is that I don’t actually get a lot of alone time with Firecrotch anymore. We haven’t done shit for like two weeks. I haven’t even gotten or given a blowing! I think I might actually be dying because of it.

So when Vee says we are out of milk I happily volunteer to go down to the Kash and Grab.
With a look on her face that says she still doesn’t trust me, she hands me five bucks and tells me to make sure I pay for it. Oh ya, apparently they are trying to rid me of my five finger discount habit. Ha, good luck with that. I mean I still take the money though.

When I go into the shop there is only person in there besides Red, an older beta man perusing the canned food area. I look at Red and smile, then make my way over to the old man. I stay behind him, obnoxiously close. I get right behind him, reach over his shoulder to grab a can of beans, and belch right in his ear. As he cringes away I smile to myself because its too fucking easy sometimes. He turns around to face me and presumably tell me off, but when he sees my face recognition hits him, knowing right away what family I come from. He puts all his shit he had collected down and leaves the store. Sometimes being a Milkovich sucks ass, but other times in can come in real handy.

Red walks over to the door as the man leaves and locks it shut.

“Hey Mickey, can I help you with anything?” He says looking me up in down.

I roll my eyes because its still cold as hell outside, I’m wearing so many layers the only shape I have is winter clothes. But, it still makes my heart beat faster.

God some times I think I should feel bad for how much I want Ian. After all that bastard has put me through, with how much I HATE the idea of being sold off to an alpha, I have never been able to control myself around Ian. He is my walking wet dream. Seriously, after Mandy brought him over the first time, I had my first wet dream that night. The whole room smelled like horny omega, after being confused for a whole two minutes, I have never been so grateful that my old man was in lock up.

Looking at him now, his long body that use to be more lean but is getting more and more muscular, it makes my mouth water. I want to touch that skin, taste it. I want him so bad I think about forgetting the stock room in the back and just taking him in my mouth right here.

It takes me a second to realize it isn’t just my mouth watering. I know I’m hard, as hard as a male omega gets. I know I’m not big there, and honestly I don’t give a shit, I don’t really care about using it so why should I? But I don’t leak too much, ya know, back there. The suppressants, surprises it, obviously. But, I ran out about four days ago. And, apparently Ian is throwing me into overdrive just by standing there and being alive.

I see his head raise slightly, he takes in a deep breath and I watch as my scent really catches him and his green eyes turn black with how much he wants me.

“Back room, now.” He growls and I barely contain a shiver as I rush to do as he told.

Fuck whatever he wants I will do right now! As long as it ends with him inside me!

Even as fast as I go, Ian is still right behind me, getting pushy as we get closer to the door. As I pull it open he pushes me inside. I shouldn’t like how rough we can get, but I know there is a difference between this and what happens when the bastard gets shit faced.

As I catch myself on the stocking shelves, looking at the milk I am suppose to be picking up, Ians hands find my waist and skin and soon my jacket and shirt are who the hell knows where. As we kiss his hands run over my bare skin, scenting my back with his wrists as his tongue and mine dance with each other. I pull away bitting his lower lip and my hands go for his shirt, and he complies by tossing it across the room. I run my hands up and down his abs, taking in his body. His broad chest and strong arms and shoulders. He is covered in freckles and I want to taste and kiss each one. I lean in and I have to go for his neck, his scent so strong there, not as strong as mine is at my glands, but FUCK its still strong. I cant help but lick and suck and soon even I realize how strong me scent is in the small stock room. I feel Ians hands go for my belt and zipper and before I know it my jeans are around my feet and Ian is massaging my ass, fingers moving closer and closer to where I want them so fucking bad.

“Ian” I gasp, breath coming heavy and fast. God this feels so good, he feels so good. And before I can stop it a whine slips out of my mouth. I’m not a big moaner usually, but god I don’t know how it can feel this good. It always has felt amazing with Ian but this is insane. I cant hold back anything right now.

Maybe it’s the suppressants, it must be being off the suppressants. I’ve, well we have never done it with out the suppressants before!

I feel Ian’s finger graze over me, and my own slick runs even further down my thighs. When did I get that wet? Holy Shit, I cant. I start to really whine, beg “Ian, Ian please.” I’m not even sure what the hell I am begging for.

Ian pulls away from neck where he had been taking in my scent, nibbling and sucking like it was his fucking dessert, his hands shift to my hips and before I know it I am facing the wall bent over some sort of cooler of some shit, chest down and ass out for Ian to do whatever the fuck he wants. Whatever it is, it will be good.

He leans over my hands going to thighs I have pressed up against the cooler, kneading and massaging as he whispers, “I need to fucking taste you Mick. You smell so fucking good.” Then growling as hard I feel it vibrate through my body as he lowers himself down and spread my checks.

Holy shit, holy shit. We haven’t, I haven’t ever done this. I usually just want to get to the point, but fuck I was stupid. His tongue swirls around my hole, and if I thought Ian was driving me crazy before I was wrong because this, this has taken my way over the edge. I am fucking gone. His tongue keeps swirling, licking and sucking but when is big, thick fingers find my whole I loose it. I am calling his name over and over “Ian, Ian, oh, oh god, Ian. Ple..ohhh, please. IAN…” I go on and on like I am praying and begging and I guess I kind of am. I’m never this loud or whiny or hell so soft sounding. The sound of skin slapping against mine, and the heavy grunts and growls echo in my fucking brain and I swear I cant take this much more. Then he adds a second fingers, even thicker than the last. The sound I make I don’t recognize at all. Fuck. And then he does it, he moves his fingers to THAT SPOT. The spot I didn’t even know I had before I met Ian Gallagher, and to top it off his other hands goes straight for my dick, which to fair is really just an oversized clit. Both are soaking wet, are scents fill the room. And god he feels so good, he makes me feel so good. I call his name over and over until he growls in my ear, “Come for me.” And hell I do it, right as he growls, and spill even more slick all over his fingers and hands and arms with how much slick I let out.

I am fucking floating. I don’t know how it can get better. No, I do know, I need him. I need his huge fucking dick inside me and oh god filling me up! Forget the condom.

“We aren’t forgetting the condom Mickey.” I hear Ian say, and fuck did I say that out loud?

“Ya baby you did.” I hear him laugh.

“Fuck.” I say still pretty damn out of it, and just wanting more Ian.

“I got you baby, lets get one more out of you.” Ian pants against my ear as I feel him adjusting against my back. I hear the condom come out his pocket and hear his jeans being pushed down, and he just cant do it fast enough.

“PLEASE IAN, PLEASE..”

I hear the wrapper being opened and tossed to the floor and then I feel his fat head nudging against my wet hole.. Fuck, fuck, fu…

“WHAT THE FUCK!” And that wasn’t Ian.

I freeze. Oh god, oh god, and its like I am praying again but for a whole other reason.

Ian’s hands are still at my hips, he still is pressed up against, he is ALMOST fucking inside of me! He says exactly what I suspected, “Lip, get the fuck out!”

Lip fucking Gallagher has the perfect fucking view my ass, the perfect view of my thighs and legs shinning with my fucking slick, and my scent, my very Omega scent is filling the room.

“HOLY FUCK SHIT!” He says again.

And when Ian growls it isn’t the same as before, its it threatening and hard and meant for an Alpha not an Omega. I shiver and I can’t stop the whine that comes out of my mouth in response.

“Ok, ok,” I hear lip laughing and got I want to punch his fucking face.

When the door closes Ian moves away from my ass, and helps me with my pants. I’m so out of it I don’t even stop him. But, by the time my shirt is on I am starting to find my way again. I am going to kill Lip Gallagher!

“Mickey, don’t do anything. I will talk to him.” Ian says, reading my face.

He is already dressed and when the fuck did that happen.

Ian beats me to the door and is the first to be facing Lip who seems to look stunned but is still laughing.

“Lip, don’t be an ass right now.” Ian says.

And that’s all it takes for this douche to start his fucking mouth.

“I can’t believe it. I mean I knew there had to be something you got out of it little bro, but Fuck, I was not expecting that!” He looks over at me, his eyes moving up and down my body and I feels nothing like when Ian did it. “No wonder.”

“No wonder what, Lip?” Ian asks sarcastically. I can feel the anger raising off of him and I don’t know why Lip doesn’t feel it the way I do.

“No wonder you put up with him. God, I thought it was just Mandy but I guess we both know the only reason to keep a Milkovich around. Ya little brother?” And as he raises his hand to try fist numb Ian, like the douche he is, I step forward and hit right in his big, ugly nose. Then I do it again, and when he lands on the floor in a fucking groan, I kick him in the ribs. Right before I swing my foot forward again, Ian puts out his hand and stops me.

“Enough, Mick.” And the way he looks at me, I know he will take care of the rest.

Ian squeezes my hand and says, “Go back to Kev and Vee’s, I will see you at dinner.”

And I’m not sure why, because it was a command, but I listen. I’m half way out the door before I remember the milk. I go back and grab the jug I was looking at as Ian blew my fucking mind, and then throw the five on the counter as I leave the very unlocked back door.

When I do get back my slick is dried, and the smell is less potent. But I actually do run upstairs to shower, luckily Kev is at work and Vee never just walks in. I still go as fast as I can though, putting on a shit ton of blocker and sending another text to Iggy to get the suppressants as fast as he can.

That night at dinner Lip shows up late with Ian, both their arms slung around the other shoulder. Ian has a black eye, but Lip looks even worse than when I left him. His jaw blue and purple along with his nose. A definite limp to his step. But, Ian and Lip are both pretty waisted which makes Fiona even more pissed.

But Lip doesn’t say anything to me. He doesn’t even look at me weird. And when I leave with Kev and Vee that night he grabs my arm before I get out the door and says a quick, “Sorry.” And then lets me go.
And fuck if I don’t believe it.

Chapter Text

It’s two weeks after Lip walked in on me and Ian. While he hasn’t said shit about me being an Omega, he is still an ass about pretty much everything. He still calls me stupid every time we are around each other, but he doesn’t really say shit in front of Red. But, when it gets to the point that I want to beat the shit out of him, and Red looks at him and tells him to ‘cool it’, he actually fucking listens. And that pisses me off too, because I really would like and excuse to beat the shit out of him.

On the bright side, now that he knows it’s a tiny bit easier to fool around with Firecrotch. Hell, three days after Kash and Grab, it was just Red me and Lip at the Gallagher house. And, well Ian and I went upstairs. Iggy had stopped by two days ago with suppressants , but fuck it was still fun. In fact, I was sure to have an extra good time, and be more loud than usual. Ha, Lip’s face when we came back down, he looked like he wanted to put bleach in his ears.

“You could have left.” Red laughs as his brother looks at him disgusted. Because, ya, Ian was pretty load too.

“I have to get my fucking applications done. I have no where else to go and I have to finish them.”

“Applications? College applications?! You’re leaving. Are you going far away?!” I ask, not hiding my excitement at the idea of Lip Gallagher being out of my life.

Scene second grade Philip Gallagher has been making my life hell with his ‘I’m so smart. I know everything’ routine. I had to sit right fucking next to him and he would laugh under his breath whenever I tried to read or write. Of course the teacher never saw or heard that. They sure did notice when I punched him in his stupid face!

He sneers in my direction and focus back on his laptop, “I am surprised you’ve heard of college Milkovich. I didn’t even think you knew it existed.”

“You’re mom told me about it… When I was fucking her.”

At that Firecrotch looses it. Which of course makes me smile back. Even Lip laughs a little, because Red makes everyone smile.

When Red settles down, I lean over and ask him when he will be applying to West Point. I love hearing him talk about the future. I know I wont be there, and I’m not going to say anything but it does make my heart hurt knowing that. Still, I get excited for him too. Ian is so smart and so driven he is going far in life, I fucking know it.

“In about two years I’ll get to apply. Fuck if I know how to make them actually notice it.”

Lip looks like he might say something but I speak first.

“Why wouldn’t they. You put in a lot of work, with ROTC and your grades. You’ll get in!” I say looking at him earnestly.

“My grades aren’t that good.” He sounds so frustrated with himself. He had a touch time with trig this semester, but he still got a B.

“Fuck that, your grades are great. You’re so smart Ian. And you’re like the most driven person I know. West Point will have a million applicants who are got A’s in trig, but I bet you’re the only one so fucking will to try your hardest at every fucking thing. If West Point doesn’t take you then they’re the dumb asses.”

Ian just looks at me and smiles, his eyes all soft. He leans in and kisses my check, whispering, “Thanks Mick” in my ear.

I don’t fucking blush. It’s just hot in the room. But I do notice Lip gives a weird look. Not the look he haves five minutes ago after we came downstairs, but a look like he has finally solved a math problem that he couldn’t figure out. Like I give a shit though, he is still a douche.

Five days later, in the Balls living room, I am sitting on the floor at the coffee table, trying to make sense of my English homework. Kev and Vee are home, Kev sitting at the kitchen table and every few minutes he will look over at me and try to make eye contact. He will not stop trying to challenge me. I fucking hate it, and I don’t challenge him back EVER. But, I heard him tell Vee that every young Alpha has to challenge the Alpha of the house.

I don’t know if that’s true, because none of my brother challenged Terry. Either way I hate it, it use to just make my skin crawl, but my anxiety is getting worse and worse. Sometimes when I’m trying to sleep and fucking can’t, I’ll just grab my blanket and sleep on the closet floor. I have even started just leaving a little blanket and pillow in there. I wouldn’t call it a nest, because I can’t fucking have a nest, and nests are for weak little pussy’s anyway. But it does feel, like more safe or shit in there, so whatever.

While actively avoiding Kev’s stare, I hear Vee say. “Mickey, what is this?”

I look up and see her holding the report cards that were sent home a week ago. I had been avoiding giving it to her, but I knew eventfully she would ask when Fiona started talking about it. Vee hardly ever called my stupid anymore, but I still didn’t want to hear her commentary on my grades. Ive been held back twice. To be fair, no one knows that I am actually in the grade I should be, at my real age anyway.

“Report card.” I keep my head down, pretending to focus on my book. Really I am just trying to remember to breath.

I hear her open the envelope and open the paper up. Then nothing. And I think, okay, I can handle that. Then Vee swears.

“No fucking shit! Kev, look at this.” And she walks over to the table to hand Kev my report card.

I want to bolt. I mean know both of them are going to laugh and shit. Fuck this. I start getting my homework closed up when I hear Kev and his loud as voice, “No fucking way! My son got an A! My son!!”
I look over at them confused as hell. Vee holds the report card up and tells me, “ You got an A in Art Mickey! And look at what your teacher wrote ‘ Though not present in classes until later in the semester, Mickey has proven to have a real talent for the subject. I would recommend keeping him in involved in the Arts program to help build his skills.’”

Vee and Kev just looks at me and I feel my self starting to get warm.

“I didn’t sign up for Art, they just put me in that class.”

“But, you like it?” Vee asks.

I look down at my shoes, “It’s okay.”

“Mickey if you like it I think it would be a great idea to take as many Art classes as you can. Have you talked to your teacher about it?”

“Why the fuck would I?”

“Because you’re good at it and you like it.”

“Ya but, its.. its Art.” I say it with a dismissive tone. I still have my eyes down. I know it must seem off, but I cant help but remember how Terry reacted when he say me doodling in a sketch book. Long story short, at the end of the night my sketch book was gone and I had FUCK U UP tattooed on my knuckles. I had just turned twelve, five months before I presented. I remember him holding my hands down while my uncle tattooed the letters. I tried not to scream because I knew I would get my ass kicked even more. So I bit my lip and looked away. I can still hear Terry laughing, and later telling me how he wont have some ‘Omega Faggot son who draws and shit. He doesn’t have sons like that. He has Alphas, so I better start acting like it.’ I had tried not to think about how much mom liked to draw with Mandy and I. All the pictures we drew, some still up on Mandy’s wall. Fucking Terry.

“What does that mean?” Vee asks sounding ready to get pissed.

“It just… I don’t know… Alphas don’t do art.”

“Who the hell told you that?” I am surprised to hear Kev say. “You can like whatever the hell you want. And, you got an A. An A! My fucking son! I am so proud!” Then he starts to move toward me with his arms wide, but I move fast to get the couch between because fuck that!

He stops and just nods his head putting his arms down. “Okay, okay, no hug…” Then he turns, “Vee get the keys, were going out to dinner.”

“I have food in the oven, we are not..”

“Yes we are. Mickey got an A. We are celebrating. You to get ready, I am getting the Gallaghers.”

And he is out the door before Vee can stop him, and we both hear him shouting, “My son got an A!!”

It’s late March now, and things are amazing but Terry is still in lock up, so even on bad days I remember that in smile. Sometimes I wonder if he has ever dropped the soap in the shower. He would fucking deserve it.

It’s a slow Friday evening, Vee and Kev are both home. Red is working and I’m pretty sure I can get out of here in like five minutes without Vee stopping me. I can get to Kash in Grab in time for Ians shift to end, and then maybe we can go to the ball field…

But my thoughts and good day are ruined with a knock on the door. When Vee answers I look over and see that fucking social worker from the first day. My heart immediately starts to race. Vee said she would tell me first if they got rid of me!

“What did he do?” Vee says looking back at me.

I shake my head, panic picking up a little more, if it isn’t them wanting to get rid of me, what did DCFS hear. Did my brothers say something, or Mandy? Fuck! I try to keep my face straight and my breathing normal.

“Hello Mrs Ball. May I come in?”

Of course she says fucking yes, and the prick asks all of us to sit at the kitchen table. He pulls out a punch of folders and documents and I think I might throw up. Vee keeps looking at me, pissed the fuck off already. Kev just looks confused.

“I have stopped by today to try and clear up some documentation issues with Mickhalieo’s files.”

‘It’s Mickey.” Kev and I say at the same time.

Mr social does not seem to hear or care.

My heart is two seconds from giving out when he continues,” As I told both of you Mr and Mrs Ball, we didn’t have much documentation for Mickahio. We have been able to find some forms and even medical history for his youth vaccinations. Our problem is now a discrepancy with his birth certificate.”

And fuck, I know where this is going.

“What kind of discrepancy?” Vee asks looking me up and down.

“Well, we are hoping Michoil will be able to help clear it up.” He turns to look directly at me,” Mickalio, all of your schools records show your age should currently be seventeen. However, your birth certificate shows your age should be fifteen. This certificate also shows you having a fraternal twin, Amandha Milkovich born five minutes before you. Can you tell us why this information was not available to us or your schools previously?”

I look away. I don’t know how to get out of this.

“Wait, you’re telling me Mickey is only fifteen.” I hear Vee say, sounding shocked, “And that he has been pretending to two years old than he is for the entire time he has been in school?”
“It would appear so.”

She turns to me, my eyes still on the table and not meeting eyes. “Spill it. Now.”

I take a deep breath. There is no getting out of this. I just hope, so fucking bad, that Vee and Kev don’t send me away because of this.

“The winter after…After my mom died, a school truancy officer came to our house. He told my dad that Mandy and I should have started school in the fall. He said if my dad didn’t get us signed up and in a school by the end of the week Mandy and I would be taken by the state, and he would loose the benefits welfare was sending him. So he got us to the school Iggy went to….” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat wishing I didn’t have to tell them this. “ He brought us into the office and told the office lady to put us in class. Like he didn’t even know he had to bring birth certificates or any shit like that. When the lady started asking questions he got pissed and after a couple of minutes he slammed his fist down and told her to just put us in a fucking class…. She, well her face looked like she got pretty scared. So she just kind of stutters and asks what grade. Then he looked at us, and he gave me this weird, I don’t know a weird look. He said the girls was in Kindergarten and the boy was in second grade. The lady started to ask if he was sure, but he just shouted even more, saying he fucking knew what grade his kids should be in! There were more office ladies around by then and I think he must have really scared them all because they just did it. I went to second grade and everyone said I was eight instead of six. I didn’t want to make Terry mad, so I didn’t say anything either…”

I look toward Vee, her eyebrows are scrunched together making her look confused. “Why would he do that? He knew how old you were, you and Mandy are, fuck youre twins.”

I look away again before I answer, hating this part. “I heard him tell Iggy, like a week later, that no son of his would be twins with a little bitch. Everyone knows that a boy can’t be twins with a girl, because the boy just ends up an Omega Faggots and he wouldn’t have a son like that.”

“Fucking Terry.” Is all Vee says with a deep breath. “Well how do we fix the paper work?”

And that’s it, she doesn’t mention sending me away, she doesn’t tell me to pack up. In fact they find out that their monthly pay for me will increase to level three. Which makes them pretty happy. As long as it helps keep me in the house and away from the Alpha house I am cool with it.

I am not cool with it when we go over to the Gallaghers for dinner that night. As soon as we enter the house Vee looks at Fiona and says, fucking loudly, “Guess who is actually fifteen fucking years old!”

And there it is, for every fucking Gallagher to know. Red looks at surprised as hell, or shocked I don’t fucking know.

“Your fifteen?” And when I just shake my head yes, he smiles, the asshole. “That means I am older than you.”

Chapter Text

So it turns out that everyone knowing your two years younger than they thought is a bigger pain than you would ever fucking guess.

First there was Red.

When Vee shouted to the entire fucking world that I was fifteen it took him a minute to get over the shock I guess. And then he wouldn’t shut up about it. He kept whispering “little baby” in my ear, he even asked if I wanted help cutting up my dinner. It was bullshit. And then he said, “Wait, isn’t Mandy 15 too?” Which lead to a whole other load as statement from Vee that Mandy is my twin sister, and I am in fact younger than her. Ian laughed he straighten up laughed, so delighted! “By five fucking minutes!” I shouted. By the time Ian and Mandy were in the same room with me, both of them were ecstatic, going on and on about how young and naïve I was about life. What the fuck. I know they were just pushing my buttons to annoy me, and see me get all flustered. But what the fuck ever, fuck them.

Second, because he is always tagging behind Red, is Lip.

That fucking, fuck face. He didn’t believe Vee, he said THAT I WAS MAKING IT UP! Why the fuck would I make that shit up. I glared at him and said,”Why the fuck would I make up being YOUNGER!”
“So you get a free home for two more years. I don’t know..” “Why would anyone want to be fucking be in foster care for longer? Fucking idiot.”
Vee was fast to relay the whole story, again. Seriously though why she needed to share all my shit. This was just another reason to make me happy she didn’t know I was an Omega.
It surprised the hell out of me when Fiona of all people said,”That makes sense actually.”
Lip asks where why before I could say ‘fuck you’ cause I was sick of hearing about everyone’s thoughts on my age. Then she said “You and Mandy always looked the same age.” That was when Red made his connections. So really Fiona is annoying as fuck too.

Third, Vee and Kev who have decided I should more rules or some shit, because apparently they care more about my behavior because I will ‘probably’ be sticking around longer. So now I had a curfew, like they don’t know we are from the fucking SouthSide. No one has a fucking curfew. I am not allowed to try and drive their car anymore. I mean I only did that like twice but its still annoying, I will be sixteen in like five months! And, I not only have to go to school, but I also have to go to class! Like everyone of them. Fucking seriously!

Forth, the mother fucking school!
Apparently not going to kindergarten and first grade is a big deal. Obviously not a big enough deal to try and do their jobs when I was six, but now that I am fifteen it needs to addressed. I mean, technically I am in the right grade anyway so why do they care. I guess it just looks really bad for all of the schools I went to because they had me enrolled without the right documentation and testing.
So now, I have to do placement testing for a goddam week of school!
And, whoever is in the school office has a big fucking mouth because everyone fucking knows! I mean everyone! I had to go to the Alibi on two nights after dealing with my school and FUCKING KURMIT said he heard form his nephew! WHAT THE FUCK!

Mandy thinks the whole thing is hilarious. But, I know we both like the fact that we are twins again. I mean we were always twins, but hiding it for like ten years, it sucked. Having a twin and others knowing, it’s actually kind of nice.

She and I not living together has been hard. I’m not going to actually tell her that shit, but I wish we still lived together. I wish she was there when Kev said something stupid or when Vee says something funny about her co worker. When Vee or Kev make family dinner I wish she was there to have some, I always worry about what she is eating or if her and Randie are keeping the power on. I always worried about that for her and I. And I really wish that she could be there at night, when I start worrying about my bedroom door having no lock. We have talked about Kev, but neither of really trust any Alpha. If Mandy was there, with her calming Beta scent, it would be so much easier.

That might be why I have started collecting her clothes once a week. I mean, she know, it isn’t weird. She offered even. Seeing how stressed I was getting with Kev always challenging me got to her.

“You should just come live with Aunt Randie, I could go to friends Mickey.” She told me quietly one afternoon as we sat in the bleachers watching Reds ROTC practice.

“I’m fine Mands, you don’t need to start couch surfing.”

“Mickey, I will be fine…”

“Mandy don’t, I can’t okay.” I say in hush, “The Balls are my only option. If I go to Aunt Randie and if you leave she will ask questions. I don’t need any of our family, especially our fucking Alpha family, to know what’s up. They would sell me just as fast as Terry.”

She made a face, but she knew I was right. “You can’t keep it up with them though Mick. That guy is so pushy with the dominance, even I feel it!”

“It’s whatever.”

“Mickey”

“Mandy,” I said turning to look her in the eye,” I lived with Terry and doing that shit to me for three years. I can get through Kev being over bearing for as long as I need to.”

“It was three years?” Mandy’s eyes got all mopey and shit. It isn’t like I wanted everyone in that fucking house to know. So, ya Mandy caught on later than my brothers. If Jamie hadn’t found me that first time, none of them would probably know now. “I thought, I thought it was just like a little over a year now. He, he started when you..”

“Right after I presented.” I said turning away. My stair going to the gymnasium Red was standing in, doing jumping jacks. I don’t get ROTC, but he loves it.

I feel a hand go to my shoulder as she says “Mickey,” so softly I almost miss it.

“It’s whatever Mands don’t worry about it.” But I keep my face forward, because I don’t want to see the pity I know is there.
She dropped it, but that night I found her shirt in my backpack. I text her a simple,

What the fuck?

She responded back right away,

Stop pretending it doesn’t help you feel better. Give it back in three days, I’ll give you another.

And that was how I started collecting a pieces of Mandys wardrobe hidden away in my closet floor, along with my blanket and pillow. It still isn’t a nest.

The Wednesday after my testing was done the school had Kev and Vee and me come in for a meeting. I fucking hated this shit. I know I am fucking stupid, why do they have to try and prove it?

“I am not going to the stupid alternative school.” I told Vee about twin times that day.

“Calm down, we haven’t even heard what they have to say.”

The room they put us in was cold as hell and smelled like moldy cheese. And, the seats were hard. And Vee and Kev tried to dress up for this shit. Vee made me shower before we came, ‘really shower’ and Kev almost came in again! Either he is up to something or he has zero respect for closed doors. I honestly can’t tell which. I had shouted for him to stay the fuck out, and he had but still! He just made a crappy day worse!

The meeting its self was actually pretty fast. And it turns out, I have a student counselor. Apparently we are suppose to talk to them like once a year, ha. I’ve never even seen this mother fucker before. The principal and a member of the school board was there too, because I guess it is a big deal to not got to first fucking grade. And, Apparently I am so fucking stupid they want to test me for learning disorders.

“Mickey, they didn’t say you were stupid.” Vee said from the front seat as we were driving home.

“They implied that shit!”

“No they didn’t. It is a few more test and then we will have more answers.”

“You can’t be so hard on yourself Mick.” Kev said, surprisingly me. I had suck a hard time getting a good reading on him. Was he such a dick, always challenging me and emitting dominance. And just being fucking tall. But then he had moments like this, or when I got my report card back, when he was fucking nice. I didn’t get him, and I just didn’t trust him. He also continued to call me ‘his son’ 95 percent of the time, but I just rolled my eyes at that.

I told Ian about it too. I mean I didn’t want to, but after he gave me a mind blowing blow job, and I was still a little upset after, I couldn’t help but spill my guts when he asked.

“Mickey, first of all, you are not stupid. Don’t say that shit Baby.”

“Yes I am, I never even told you how hard reading was for me and you still knew.”

“That doesn’t mean shit. I am with you every day. You aren’t stupid.”

“I can’t read, my writing sucks, my spelling sucks. As soon as there is a word problem in math, I am fucking done…”

“Math is one of you best subjects!”

“I am getting a D!”

“Which isn’t an F!”

God Red, always a fucking bright side.

“Okay little Orphan Annie, calm down.”

“Mickey, you know, deep down, you are not stupid.”

I couldn’t handle the way he was looking at me, so genuine or some shit. It made me blurt out what was eating away at my gut, without thinking it through.

“I know I am kind of smart about certain stuff. But not school stuff, I suck at that! I don’t want to go to some alternative school Ian. I.. I already don’t see enough of you with school and work.”

“ Mickey, we see each other every day.”

“So you wouldn’t mind seeing less of me.” I say with my tearing apart with each word.

“No, Mick, I am not saying that at all. I wish we were together every second of the day!”

I don’t look at him.

“I mean it Mickey. Every minute we aren’t together I am thinking about you. About what you’re doing or thinking about. If you’re doing okay, if you are with someone you feel safe with, if you are eating enough, if you are happy, if youre making one of your silly faces, if you miss me… I wish I could hold you at night, I wish we could walk down the hallway and hold hands,” he says as he takes my hand,” I wish I kiss you all the time, anywhere. I wish we could scent each other. I wish I could smell you full scent, all the time, I wish…”

“Okay, okay,” I say squeezing his hand. “I get it, you like me.” I say with a smirk.

“I more than like you, and you more than like me.”

He is being so nice it hurts my heart, thinking of the day I wont have him around.

“So what Firecrotch, you asking me to marry you, carry your babies, wear your bite?” I say sarcastically, even mockingly.

Ian forces my eye contact and say,”Not right now. We need to graduate first.”
What the absolute fuck. No fucking way am I letting my heart go there. I am not letting it have a second of that hope.

“Fuck you.”

And maybe I am being to dramatic by up and leaving, but I don’t care because I can’t take that hurt. I hear Ian calling my name and apologizing, but I can also tell he doesn’t really mean it. So I go downstairs, avoid the weird looks from Lip, and fuck Carl is here to, and I go back next door.

Luckily, when I go into the Balls house I immediately get hit with the scent of Baby. Not just any baby, but baby Liam. I find Vee in the kitchen and Liam playing in the living room. He runs to me for a hug and I take it all in, then we sit down to play with his blocks.

I play with him for a few hours, until Fiona comes to get him. I get so many sneaky cuddles in, I feel more calm than I have in a while.

“He will be tired tonight, Mickey and him were chasing each other around all afternoon.” Vee tells Fiona as she is handing over Liams bag full of diapers, toys and snacks.

Fiona looks over at me, as I sit at the coffee table, trying to ready my homework questions. She takes a moment and then gets a serious look on her face and says “Thanks Mickey.”

“Ya whatever.” And from the corner of my eye I can see here eyes roll.

“Well see you guys later.” Fiona says as she turns to head out the door.

“Bye Mickey Mouse!” I hear Liam call, and I turn around right away to see him wave, and as I wave smile and wave back, Liam blows a kiss. I catch it and throw it back to him. And I realize a second to late that I broke my cool, and Fiona and Vee are both smirking at me.

“Bye, Mickey Mouse.” Fiona says sarcastically.

The next day I see Red as waiting for me to walk to school. I walk up next to him and look him in the eye, holding his stare. Red looks down at my hand, and I flex my fingers, and I cant help looking at his hand too, and then back to his eyes. I know we both wish we could grab the others. But, instead he Ian smiles at me and turns and we goth walk to school together.

On Friday I go back to the school with Kev and Vee. The testing is back, and I have dyslexia. I start to panic, I don’t want my days to get fucked up. I don’t want to not have Red at school, miss our walks and our lunches, our meetings under the bleachers, seeing him at ROTC, not having social studies with him!

“I am not going to the fucking Alternative school for retards.”

“Mickey, don’t say that word.” Vee says quickly.

“Ya, the correct term is retarded.” Kev follows up with a stern look.
I raise my eyebrows and Vee sighs and looks at Kev,”Don’t say that word either.”

Kev looks very confused by this. “Then what do I say?”

That is when the principal interrupts. “Mickey, you do not have to go to an alternative school. We can set up some tutoring and specialized classes to help you learn to cope and get caught up.”

I relax at that and try to hold back a laughter when Vee says,” Do your offer that to every kid with a learning disorder?”

Followed directly by “We do for the students we don’t want to sue us.”

And that is how I got private schooling in a public school in the SouthSide. And I still see Red, and Mandy.

It all seemed pretty cool until two weeks later. Kev and I are over at the Gallagher waiting for dinner, Vee should be showing up an minute.

Kev is somewhere with Carl, looking at some dead animal Carl ‘found’. Debbie is helping Fiona in the kitchen. Liam is in the living room with me, Firecrotch and Lip. We are watching Liams favorite National Geographic show. Lip sitting on the arm chair, Red and I on the couch, far apart enough that we still look like two Alphas. I watch that, Ian keeps trying to get closer, even when I give him dirty looks.

“Mickey, who was that guy in the private library room with you today? Is he a new teacher?” Lip asks from his seat trying to play to cool, but I cant tell he is more interested than he wants to let on.

Red knows, I told him right away about my private tutor. He luckily is a Beta, so it doesn’t stress me out too much to be around him.

“He isn’t a teacher,” I say. Being vague just to annoy him.

“Ok, well was he a library assistant?”

“No.”

Lip deep sighs, “What were you doing with him?”

“Why do you care?”

“Watch it you two?” Red says from between us.

Lip takes a second and says, “I am just curious, Mickey.”

I decide to bite, because Lip has said enough shit to me in life. It would be pretty difficult for him to really hurt my feelings now.

“He is my tutor. I am work with him now instead of go to class.” I see the look on his face begging for more answers and I blow out a breath. “I was put in placement testing after the school got my birth certificate. Then I was tested for dyslexia. The school doesn’t want me to sue for letting my dad put me in the wrong grade, so I get to have a private Tudor in the library from now on.”

“So you really are fifteen.”

“Lip.” Red warns.

“Sorry.” And he drops it.

Until after dinner. He has changed his clothes and has a jacket on ready to leave the house, presumably to meet up with someone. Before he goes to the door he comes over to me, sitting alone on the couch waiting for Ian to come back from the bathroom. The younger kids caught up on tv and the adults in the other room.

Lip sits down and says quickly and quietly,” I’m sorry for all the shit I said about you being stupid. It isn’t fair to you, especially with the school stuff.”

I look over at him, eyebrows to my hairline.

“I’m sorry.”

And then he leaves like he never said a fucking thing. I don’t know what to think about it to be honest.

When Red gets back he sits right next to me again. And with the lights turned off and just the TV playing for light, Ian reaches cross to be and grabs my hand. Putting the pillow in front so no one can see it. Just like when I let Ian start kissing me months ago, I take a minute to wonder why I didn’t want to do this before. Holding Ian’s hand it amazing.

Chapter Text

It takes approximately two weeks to decide I hate having a person tutor. I mean Mr Cox, seriously his name is Cox, isn’t so bad during the day. It’s the fucking fact that he talks to Vee and Kev all the damn time. They are practically best friends, so of course no Cox’s is sending them a progress report weekly, to show my progress. I didn’t even mind this, until Vee realized I was flunking gym class.

Apparently Vee cares a lot about Gym Class.

There is no way, on this whole shit stained earth, that I am going to go to Alpha fucking Gym Class three days a week. Like fuck I would set foot in that locker room, the ‘teacher’ is a fat old many who reminds me too much of Terry, and there is also no way I am running that much. Running equals sweating, sweating equals scents. I am be on enough suppressants to castrate a horse, but there is still no way I am risking it by building up a sweat, in public, around a bunch of horny Alphas.
But, I am not going to tell all of that to Vee. So when she gets pissed I just stick with “No one goes to gym class.”

“It’s just gym Mickey, run around for half an hour and be done. Why is that so fucking hard?”

“I don’t want to do it.”

“Then give me a good fucking reason?”

“I DON’T WANT TO DO IT.”

“Don’t you be a little ass with this! I am telling you to go, you go!”

I have listened to her about everything else, all of her rules. This is the only one I wont comply to and it pisses her off. But, I can’t, I can’t go.

So now, its been a week of me not going to gym, Vee knowing and being pissed, and I am stressed out more than I thought I ever could be. Vee being angry and sending off a million angry Omega pheromones has me and Kev on edge, and so now Kev is letting off even more dominance and challenge pheromones. And I have been hiding in the closet for a week straight. I can’t sleep, I feel ready to fall apart to be honest. On Friday, I ask to stay over at Reds just to get away.

Even Lips annoying face is better than dealing with Vee and Kev right now. And, of course, Lip is there all night. Seriously, doesn’t he have a life. Plus Liam went to bed early, I barely got a hug.

Lip decided to embrace his full annoying self by asking me “Why do I pretend to be an Alpha anyway?”

Fiona and Little Red are out shopping with Jimmy/Steve and Carl is blowing something up on the street, so I know its safe to say but it still gets under my skin.

“Could not be so loud about that shit!”

He just blinks at me and takes a hit of his joint. If he hadn’t offered to share his shit with Ian and me I would have kicked his ass out myself. Then at least Ian and I would have his bed to ourselves.

“Come on, tell me.”

“No.”

“It isn’t a big deal, I wont tell anyone.”

“Lip just drop it.” Red says as I give Lip my best pissed off face.

“Oh come on, Ian wont even tell me? I am just curious. Tell me or I am taking this shit away.” He says taking his joint from Ian, right when it was my turn.

“Why are you such an Asshole?” I mean I am stressed to the max, and Ian helps but I would not mind a little buzz right now. It’s been fucking months. Stupid Vee and her stupid rules. Everyone is always being a dick to me, except Ian. And ya know what, its not my fault Terry is a dick. Why should I have to hide every fucked up thing he has done…

“I mean, do you want to be an Alpha or what?” Lip asks, genuinely.

And that’s it, because it is so fucked up, everything is fucked up.

“FUCK NO, I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ALPHA!” I say too loudly as I take the joint from him. “I will say this once and that’s it!”

“Fine.” He says passively.

I feel Ian take my hand. It isn’t hidden under a blanket or anything, but I guess Lip knows anyway, and I don’t like talking about this. So whatever I let him, just this once.

“I pretend to be an Alpha… because my…because Terry, wouldn’t let me stay around if everyone knew that I am…not an Alpha.”

I am not looking directly at Lip, but I can see that passiveness hasn’t changed. “So what he would kill you?”

“Maybe…” I look at Ian and even though I don’t have to I finish the sentence. “Probably not. He could make a little on the right market. So if word got out I would just end up in some disgusting Alphas basement.”

Lips face changes a little, looking like he swallowed sour milk. “He would sell you?”

I don’t say anything else.

“Seriously!” He says a little louder. “He can’t do that, that’s like super illegal now. Omegas can’t be bought or so…”

“Lip, he told you. Let it go.”

“But he can’t. People have done shit like that for at least fifty years!”

“Ya they have. You just have to know the right people. And Terry knows all of them.”

Lip is quiet for a minute and finally just says “Fuck.”

Then he gets up and says,” We need weed to deal with this shit.” And then he leaves and Red and I are finally alone. I have a little buzz. And I feel better than I have in weeks.

It turns out that Friday night was great, and then I some how had some lucky star shinning on me, because Saturday morning came and everyone had early morning shit to do in the Gallagher house!
Well I think Lip just knew what was coming, so he hightailed it out once he realized everyone else was gone.
So her I am, on my back, bent in half with legs above head. And dear god, I cant handle to way Ian is hitting THAT SPOT with every god damn stroke!

“Ian, Ian, Ian.” I keep panting like a prayer. His growls are getting louder with each thrust. My head is held back, by next on complete display. When Ian leans down and lets his teeth settle around my glands I cant help it, I yell so fucking loud. I don’t even know what comes out of my mouth. I just want it so fucking bad! I feel a rush of slick flow out of me, where Ian is thrusting harder and harder.

“Look at me.” And it’s a command, a fucking command, a real one! He never does that. It should scare me, but it just makes me get more wet and as I look to his eyes as he told me to. And when I do, he growls, “Good Boy.” And OH FUCKING GOD. I have never been called that in my life and I had no idea how good it would feel! He leans down and whispers in my ear, “Come.” And I do, so fucking hard. I hardly even register that Ian continued to lean down and bit down, not on my glands, we cant fucking do that, and I am not in heat anyway. No he clamps down on my shoulder. And somehow even that make my orgasm feel even better.

Ian is pumping and pumping, not caring about rhythm. And when I think my orgasm is ending, it starts all over again as I feel him growing, his knot forming quickly and spreading me wider.

“YES, YES, ALPHA PLEASE!!!”

And then he shoves so fucking hard I see stars as I feel his knot fully expand. And if I thought my first orgasm was good it had fucking nothing on this. I have no idea who I am or where I am. I am fucking floating for what feels like hours. And when I finally start to come back down, Ian is nuzzled into my neck scenting the fuck out of me, I can still feel his knot in me, and god I feel so fucking good. That’s when I realize that for the first time in my entire life, I am purring. ME! And I don’t give a fuck.

We stayed that way for another fifteen minutes, at least. Ian got ride of his condom, and I told the irrational part of my brain to not throw a fit. I do not want to be a teen Omega! But, I also want every part of Ian I can get. My brain is still a little fuzzy, so when he comes back into the room, when did he leave?, I let him wipe me down. Cleaning of my slick and sweat.

“Do you want to take a bath?” He asks.

I smile and ask if he would join, even though that would be super gay.

He opens his mouth to answer but just then we hear the door open and close and he has to cover my mouth to suppress my groan.

“Ian, sweet face you home?” Fiona yells, and of course, its fucking Fiona.

I, beyond irritated but at the same time I appreciate that we opened the window and I took my suppressants this morning. Who knows how much this place would stink of Ian and myself if I wasn’t on that shit. To be fair, I wouldn’t mind, but everyone else would.

Red answers and heads down stairs. I get dressed and head down a couple minutes later. Vee is there too, and when she asks where I was I say “The can” with out looking at her but I hear her groan and I figure I am okay.

“Jesus, do you ever brush your hair?” She asks next and my hand flys to my sex messed hair trying to flatten it. I see Red from the corner of my eye trying really hard not to laugh.

“Dirtiest white…”

Vee catches herself and doesn’t finish, but I hid my face so she doesn’t see the hurt flash across it. It’s been months sense she called me that…

Ian pumps my arm and says “Come on Mick, lets make breakfast.”

I follow him into the kitchen, welcoming the distraction. And watch as he starting pulling stuff out for banana pancakes. When I do catch his eye I smile and he smiles back.

We spend the rest of the morning sitting at the kitchen table Ian looking over my school books, the younger kids are all home too, running around and stealing pancakes. Liam is sitting next to me, eating and playing toci-toci-toci with me. I know my Ma had to play this with me, Mandy and Iggy so many fucking times. I can still see her smiling face as she sang the words. She was fucking pretty. God, every part of my heart misses her.

My heart starts hurting so bad I hardly even mind the distraction of Vee and Fi coming into the kitchen. They have been talking shit about one of Fiona’s new co workers she went to school with a million fucking years ago.

Some how Fiona doesn’t know that she not only dropped out of high school, but also is no longer high school age, because she still acts like a gossipy little Omega every fucking day.

“I swear Vee, its true,” She says, her and Vee standing at the sink, pouring themselves more coffee.

“I don’t believe it, what kind of self respecting Omega would take that many knots before their first heat?”

“I know its fucking crazy, but that little slut did! And now she goes crazy every fucking month. Joe Polanski couldn’t even stay for her whole heat last month!”

“Are you fucking serious! How many knots did she take?”

“Ha, she said five but I bet it was more like fifteen.” Fiona snorts.

I feel my stomach start to roll. I am scared shitless of my first heat. I cant fucking lie about that, luckily no one really asks, besides Rachel. But also, I know shit about them. And whatever these two gossiping hens are talking about seems like something I should know.

I look at Red and he sits back and says,”What are you guys talking about?”

“Oh just Sheri Johnson, that old hoe I work with now.”

“No, I mean… um the knot thing?”

Fiona looks at him and blushes,”Oh… uh you don’t, you don’t know about that?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I did.” He laughed, “Not like I want to hear anything about sex from you Fi, no offense.”

“None taken.” She takes a sip of her coffee then looks at Vee how is smirking and says “So, fuck, ya you know Omega’s shouldn’t be knotted before their first heat right?”

“You listen to this too.” Vee says pointing to me. I grunt and look down at my plate.

“We ya, because it increases the chance of pregnancy right?”

“Oh god, well ya. But, well it also affects the Omega.” Reds face must have shifted because Fiona quickly continues,” It affects how their hormones are controlled, or how they will be controlled. Omegas who are knotted before heat, especially if they are knotted a bunch of time, they become crazy with lust during their heats, like more than usual. Way more. And they become crazy fertile.”

“And their scents are a million times stronger.” Vee adds in.

“Yes.” Fiona says pointing to her. “I know what you’re thinking because all Alpha’s think this, that doesn’t sound so bad, but it is hell on the Omega. They cant function without, well without the knot, for at least a week.”

Ian’s voice sounds so off as he asks,”I thought heats lasted like two days.”

“Regulars heats do, not for an affected Omega though. The more times their knotted before heat the worse it is. So don’t do it!” Fiona says pointing at her. And I cant fucking breath.

“Good, I know some Alphas, asshole love it. It’s disgusting. Back in the day, Alphas would purposefully take an Omega early to ‘train them’. Can you believe that? Omegas like that were suppose to be ‘more well behaved, really they are more susceptible to commands and shit. They seriously can’t survive without an Alpha or some shit. God I am so glad I live in a time with Omega rights!”

“You said it sister.” Vee cheers her coffee cup as she says it.

I feel Ian staring at me. I know my face is pale. I felt the blood rush out of it. Even Liam starts patting my arm. “Mickey okay?” He asks in soft voice. I don’t know what I feel. My first main thought is that I want to throw up every damn thing in my body.

“Mickahlio Malkovich you better not have…” Vee starts but I cut her off. Because I can say half of my truth right now.

“My mom… Terry did that… to my mom”

I feel her and Fiona staring at me. I get up quickly.

“I am going next door,” I say as I head for the door. I don’t hear a response but when I am halfway across the yard, Red catches up. He grabs my arm to stop me and I rip it way.

“Mickey,” he says putting his arms up.

“I am sorry okay, I had no idea.” He says, sounding slightly desperate.

I shake me head, “You’re fine.” I answer. He have only knotted three times counting today. That’s fucking nothing.

“Well, it was only three times, for us right, that… it cant be that bad. So you don’t have to worry.”

I dip my head down avoiding his eyes completely.

“Fiona doesn’t know everything we can ask…”

Ian knows so much, I don’t really doubt just telling him the truth.

It is easier than I think it will be to look up and say just one name, stopping Ian completely.

“Terry.”

His pause only lasted a second. “Terry… Terry knotted you?”

I don’t even say his name again.

“How many… how many times?”

I do look at him now, my face and body a mix of shame and anger.

“Almost every fucking time Ian. It has to be at least fifty.”

And then its Ian that cant breath as my rage grows. He fucking trained me. Just like my Ma. He knew, he had to know what he was doing! He fucking trained me!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

It feels like things are trying to go to hell all at once, again, in my life. I spent days thinking any time I wanted to see Ian or touch Ian, it was all because of him, that bastard. It was all because of what he did to me. I stayed in my room saying I was studying, or spending extra time at school. Just wanting to avoid the one person that made me happy in life. Vee thought I was hiding something, Kev thought I was jacking off, and Mr Cox thought I had developed a new love for learning.

On the fourth day of avoiding Firecrotch Mr Cox and sent me to the cafeteria, saying he would get in trouble if I didn’t go to lunch, and he really didn’t want to be fired for that. So he kicked me out of our little room we used in the library. Really he waited until I got up and left for two seconds and locked the door behind us, saying I had half an before he would unlock it. Sense I was actually starving, I went to get some lunch, and there he was.

It’s so easy to find him in a crowd, he stands out so well. I mean his red hair is really stupid. Anyway, when we saw each other, and I just, I don’t know its so stupid. But, when I saw him my heart felt big. Everything in me told me to go to him. And my brain reminded me of all of the times Ian stood up for me, and supported me, cared for me. Ian was nothing like Terry. And I wasn’t going to let that bastard ruin the one good thing I ever had.

Ian was easy to move on from days of ‘studying’. Like it didn’t hurt him that I was trying to break away. He is just so good all the time. I don’t know how I get to have him, even for a short amount of time.

Ian and me being our normal, well normal for us, selves didn’t fix everything though. Because Vee and Kev were still on my ass about fucking gym class. I even started actually going, just not dressing down. I sat out the whole class, which gave me a present but still an F. But I still went even though I had to stay next to that creepy ass ‘teacher’. Does Vee appreciate that I did at least that? Of course fucking not, because nothing is ever good enough for her!

We are pretty much right where we started. Her not trusting me at all, and she is starting to say sarcastic shit all the time again. Whispers most of the time but I still hear it. And Kev keeps pushing and pushing. He was walked in on my in the shower four times in total. Each time to take a piss. I don’t know anymore, I don’t know if he is just obvious, or if he is trying to start something… It scares the shit out of me. He is sooo fucking big. Like a fucking monster. If I tried to fight he would squash me like a bug. The idea of him forcing me… every night when I close my eyes its like a movie going off in my head. My own fucked up movie, of Kev hurting me, sometimes he turns into my Terry and then he hurts me, other times it’s just my Terry.

Every night I start on my bed and end up in the closet, holding on to anything with a comforting scent to try and help me through the night.

Mr Cox, who is prick for noticing, asks if I am okay. Of course I say I am fucking fine, but he wont let it go!

“You just look so tired Mickey.” “We can take a break if you need to rest.” “Is everything alright at home?” “Maybe if you attended Gym class you could let this aggression out.”

He won’t fucking stop talking to me, about me! He also wont stop sharing all this shit with the Balls.
Vee hearing that Mr Cox is worried just seems to make her more annoyed. It feels like that’s all I am good at anymore.

On Thursday, around five, my brothers show up out of the blue. Iggy has brought me suppressants a few times, but we haven’t really hung out. It doesn’t really surprise me, but I still miss all of them. When they were my age they had everyone at home still. I just have me and Mandy. And now Mandy isn’t even around like she was, because of stupid fucking DCFS.

So what the fuck ever, I was happy to see them. I had been downstairs, because Vee said I couldn’t hide in my room everyday. I just say on the couch watching Kev, sitting far away in his chair, flick through channel after channel. When Vee answered the knock at the door I had to pretend I didn’t care. But really I was so excited. My Brothers were here!

“He losers, where you been?” I asked as they all came to join my on the couch, invited or not.

“Don’t put any of your dirty shoes on my couch.” Vee said as she returned to the kitchen.

Iggy took one look at me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight, just like he did the day we lost ma.

“What happened?” I whispered, wishing I already know whatever horrible news he had to share.

“Joey is in jail,” he said quietly. “The whole cartel thing is going to work.”

I always knew it wouldn’t. Whatever they had planned was never going to get me away from Terry for good. My brothers were good enough to me, they tried at least. When it came to setting up jobs or runs, they just didn’t have it, not like Terry. Honestly I’m not sure any of them were really meant for crime. They were always getting busted, the deals never really paid enough. They would all be better off going legit.

“Whatever.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It will be okay.” I avoided their looks. Because frankly they were all putting off way to many worried and protective pheromones. That wasn’t really their style. I didn’t really know what had come over them, and I wasn’t sure I liked it.

“Shcho z toboyu?”- What is wrong with you? Iggy asked when I wouldn’t make eye contact.

“Nichoho.”- Nothing.

“Nichym ne pakhne.” – It doesn’t smell like nothing.

I looked up at him, my face as panicked as I would let it look.

“Ne perezhyvay YA ne dumayu, shcho vony vidchuvayutʹ tsey zapakh, yak my.” - Don't worry. I don’t think they can smell it like we can.

“Tse prosto bahato. Ne znayu. Zaraz vsʹoho tak bahato.” -It's just a lot. I don't know. Everything is so much right now.

“No, whatever the hell you are speaking, in my house.” Vee hollars over at us. “I don’t need anyone planing some gun or drug deal in my house under my nose.” Her face is so stern. Just like it was the first day I moved in.

“I am asking how my brother is bit..”

“Don’t.” I interrupt Iggy before he can finish it. “It’s fine. I don’t want to fight.”

Iggy gives me another look, and I can see Collin and Jamie giving the same look.

“Why is my brother so skinny, are you feeding him?” Jamie asks in a harsh tone.

“I’m not that skinny”. I answer back. My pants are a little looser than when I bought them. But not much. I’ve just been stressed lately.

“Excuse me, what exactly are you trying to say?” Vee comes back at him with just as much attitude.

“I am trying to say that I am worried about my brother. It smells like fucking disgusting in here with all this assholes challenging pheromones going off, and your judgie ass smell too! So what’s going on, and why does he look so miserable?”

“Jamie, fucking drop it I am fine.” I say at the same time Vee says “Who the fuck do you think you are coming in here an insulting us like that?”

I see Kev rise from the corner of my eye, I try not to wince when he stands. So fucking tall and intimidating.

“Everyone calm the fuck down. Vee, Mick does look kind of like shit, sorry kid.” He says scrunching his face in an apology.

“I am fine.”

“Well you would probably be better if this guy would calm down with the fucking challenging shit.” Collin adds pointing to Kev.

Kev makes a confused face,”It’s not like I want to keep pushing but he wont react. You know I can’t just stop. I am surprised he has kept it going this long, an Alpha his age would usually react with in a minute not fucking months.”

“Will you stop.” I say to my brothers as fucking commanding as I can. “Don’t fuck this up. I can’t get kicked out.”

“Oh, calm down Mickey. We aren’t kicking you out.” Kev says, sounding a little surprise and hurt.

“It wouldn’t hurt if you actually talked to us.” Vee said.

“I talk to you.”

“Then why the fuck wont you do gym class?”

I look away, I see my brothers face shift. I am sure they haven’t ever thought off all the shit I have to avoid while pretending to be something I am not.

“I told you I don’t want to.” I say, my voice too quiet. I hear Vee take a deep sigh, probably thinking over if she should continue this now or not. But a second later she turns going back to the kitchen. So I guess not now.

“Listen, Mickey, we just wanted to check up on you ok. Terry wants us to go pick something up at he house. When we are done will check in again okay.” Jamie tells me, that concerns look not leaving his face.

“We will stop by tomorrow and go get pizza.” Collin throws in. “We will even get you a gross as one with mushrooms.”

I try not to smile but feel my lip start pull up.

“Ya, we will stop by Randie’s and grab Mandy too. Hell invite that ugly red headed kid if you want.”

I must really look like shit if my brothers are being this nice. I bite on my lips so I don’t smile out right and just shake my head.

When they all leave I am surprised when all three take a moment to hug me goodbye. Like actually fucking hug me. I know an Alpha may not like it, but their family so it may not look too weird. And well, I really like it to me honest. I feel like a bundle of nerves lately and its nice to feel like they care, to be wrapped around them like they would protect me or some shit. Hell having their scents around is nice too.

Before the door closes Iggy takes off his hoodie and throws it at me. “You look cold assface. Wear enough clothes.” I don’t have enough time to hide my smile while I slip into this warm hoodie they smells like him and the rest of my brothers. I learned a long time ago that you have to take the small moments in life. Sometimes its all you get.

The next day all three of them show up at Ian’s place with Mandy too. And they take us all down to the cheap ass pizza place three blocks away. We get a huge ass booth and I am stuffed in the middle with Iggy on one side and Ian on the other, everyone else shoved in beside them. I try not to smile, even though inside a wave of softness and lightness runs through me. Like I feel fucking lighter.

At one point, under the booth, Ian takes my hand and squeezes it. Just like sense he started doing that shit, I secretly love it. Then I see Iggy looking over and down and I know I’m busted. He leans over and whispers into Collins ear and then they both stare at me. When Jamie comes over and gives them both a weird look they just look over at fucking me. With all three staring at me its too much, so I take my hand away and put it and grab my coke, willing my face to cool down. I hear all three of them laughing and I scowl, breathing out “Fuckers,” as I take another sip.

Jamie waits a minute and then tells me to go get another pitcher of soda. I’m about to tell him to go to hell he can do it. I mean I am in the middle of the fucking booth. But, then Mandy and Ian starting moving out of them way, and to be honest I don’t want to fight with anyone. So I scoot out of the booth, take the money Jamie gives me, and go up to the counter to get another pitcher.

When I make it back to the table Ian is in the middle of the booth and his face is as red as his hair. I would laugh but his face is slightly panicked too. Not one of them, not even Mandy, looks innocent.

“What the fuck?” I say as I set down the soda and get my brothers out of the way to take my spot back.

“What, did a you need more for the soda?” Jamie asks, like it isn’t obvious Ian has been traumatized.

“Don’t worry Mickey, it’s just the shovel talk.” Mandy said as she leaned over to whisper in my ear.

The shovel talk? I think to myself, remembering all the times my brothers and myself gave one of Mandy’s boyfriends hell. I am pretty fucking embarrassed because Ian and I aren’t exactly official. Even though I don’t know how the hell I will ever be happy without him. And we don’t see other people. And we hang out all the time. And he knows everything about me, and I know a ton of shit about him. And I think about him like non stop, and I know he thinks about me a lot because he text me all the time and always wants me around him… but still we haven’t ever said like ‘boyfriends’. Oh my god.

But then, I feel Ian grab my hand under the table again, and I turn and see him doing that stupid smile. And I know its okay. And I know everyone else at the table knows we are holding hands but I don’t care. So I eat my pizza and take in the chatter around the table, and its good. It all feels really good.

Which is why I should have known it would all go to hell.

When we left the pizza place Mandy hugged me goodbye and left for Aunt Randie’s. Well really I think she was going on date, but after Red got the shovel talk I doubt she was eager to remind out brothers that she dated as well. After that the five us walked back toward Reds place. I was about to go in with him but Iggy grabbed my shoulder.

“Hold on Mick, show us your room. Ian man, we’ll catch you later.”

“Remember what we said assface.” Collin added as he and Jamie headed for the Balls house next door.

Whatever the hell is going on I don’t like it. But I take the guys inside. Vee is on the couch and gives all a dirty look as I take my brothers up stairs. I walk them in the room and stand next to the window. None of them want to look me the eyes, Iggy is looking at me bed, Collin is looking my backpack on the floor and Jamie is looking at the closet. It’s open just a crack and he slides the door over.

He points to the bottom, and still not looking at me asks,”Is that a nest?”

“No,” I say automatically.

Iggy and Collin both look over. “It sure looks like one.” Iggy says at the same time Collin says,”I didn’t know you nested Mickey.”

“It’s not a… it’s not.”

“Your nest is in a closet?” Jamie finally looks at me.

I am definitely not blushing when I say again, “It isn’t… that.”

Iggy leans down his hand extended to grab his hoodie that I added last night. My heart picks up another beat and I can’t stop myself from yelling out,”Don’t touch that!”

He smiles, and I see them all kind of shaking their heads.

“You shouldn’t have to nest in a fucking closet.” I hear Jamie say under his breath.

Whatever they are up her for, I have had enough. I don’t want to dance around this shit.

“What the fuck is it. We all know none of you want to see my room. So what the fuck is it?”

They all look at one another, and I am not surprised when Jamie starts it off. He is the oldest, he always takes the lead.

“Mickey, Terry gotta word to Tony in the joint. They aren’t housed anywhere near each other, but he got a note to him. Told him to pass on to us, well me and Tony and Col and Ig, he wanted to sell some shit he had at the house. He said to go find a camera and take it to some douche named Ultav on West 5th and 8th .” He went and sat on the bed, Iggy and Collin both next to him. “We told you, the cartel gig fell through and we are all low on money, so fuck it we went to the house.”

I don’t know what they are trying to tell me. But they wont look at me. And I don’t want to guess. It’s in the back of my head but I don’t want to think it. It can’t be true.

“What was… what the fuck was on the camera?”

Jamie looks at me. He doesn’t say anything for a long time. None of them do. Finally I hear one of them whisper it. I can’t look, I don’t know which one.

“You.”

I can’t breath. I can’t… I start to shake. Then there are arms around me, pulling me in. The scent of protection strong in this tiny room. Collin is hugging me. Collin is one of the toughest mother fuckers I know. I’ve seen him do some fucked up shit on Terry’s orders. But right now he is hugging me like the rest of the world can stay the fuck out, while he holds me together.

“We will never let this happen.” Jamie says.

“Never!” Iggy adds with ice in his voice.

Collin lets go slowly and I feel him shoving something into my hand. A small digital camera, I swear I’ve never seen before.

“We wanted to take it to the police.” He says.

I almost choke. Milkovichs never narc, fucking never. We don’t turn on each other. Not like that. I would see them killing Terry themselves before narcing.

“We decided this isn’t our shit to tell.” Jamie says stepping up to me and grabbing out shoulders. “It’s up to you. You give us the camera and tell us to take it to the pigs, we will. Tell us to throw it out, we will. Tell us to… to forget about it, we will.”

“Is it pictures or..”

“It’s video, Tony watched… enough to get the fucking idea.”

“Tony is locked up. When did you get it?”

“Just the other day. Tony was… he was pretty messed up after he saw…”

I sit on the bed now. I don’t know what to say. I feel dirty, like the bastard just touched me. I’m also scarred shitless. He is trying to fucking sell me!

“We wont let him touch you, or fucking sell you.” Iggy whispers, sitting on the bed with me.

“He would have to kill all of us before that happens.” Collin adds.

“Mickey we..”

“What the fuck is going on in here.” Vee says as she walks in the door. The door that doesn’t lock.

“Nothing.” Collin says as Iggy moves away from me and stands.

I put the camera in my pocket before Vee can see it.

“Ya, shit doesn’t look like nothing. I ain’t having no shit in My House. You can all leave now.”

“We aren’t doing anything except visiting out brother.” Jamie says starring Vee down. “We also aren’t here to start shit either. Mickey,” he says turning to look at me,”you need us, call. We will be here.”

He starts for the door, Collin behind him. Iggy goes to move but stops, he turns and leans back down, wrapping his arms around me. “I love you baby brother.” And then he leaves too.

I just sit there, I hear them leave out the front door. Vee is still standing at my door.

“I don’t want any trouble in my house Milkovich.”

I just shake my head.

“You sick or something?” She sounds slightly more concerned.

“No.” I whisper. I can’t take the feeling itching all over my skin anymore. I stand and say,”I’m going to take a shower.”

“Well now I know you’re sick,” she says as she walks out of the room and down the stairs.

I hid the camera under my bed and go straight to the shower. I don’t worry about Kev or any other shit. I just want this feeling off my skin.

I turn the water all the way to hot and don’t bother waiting for it to warm up. I get in and start scrubbing.

I don’t know how long I’m in there. I’ve lost track of time to be honest. But I hear the door handle. I hear the hinges start to squeak and I turn away as Kev comes in. I cant do this now. I cant. This is… this is too fucking much.

“Hey Mick, damn its hot in here!”

I concentrate on breathing, my back to Kev. I try to hid how I am shaking.

“Sorry man, I gotta shit and I cant hold it anymore!”

I hear his belt and I drop wash clothe that was in my hands. My mind screaming to get away, bringing up all the times Terry came in the bathroom, all the times I heard his belt…

“Shit man, don’t take this weird but you have a big butt!”

My eyes fill with tears and bile rises in my throat. I think I have reached my limit. This day, right fucking now with Kev behind me talking about my ass, its too fucking much.

“Please get out.” I whisper and I can’t hide the emotion in my voice.

“Dude you don’t sound to good.”

I hear him standing and the toilet flushing. I hear a foot step like he is moving toward me. I can’t! The bile rises more and I cant stop as I vomit onto shower wall and floor, spilling on to me. The water continuing to run as it swirls around my feet and down the drain.

“Fuck man. You are sick. I am getting Vee! Don’t worry…” and Kev leaves the room calling for Vee.

I hurry and wrap a towel around me grabbing my clothes and rushing to my room.

I don’t get dressed, I just go to the bed and hid, the covers up to my chin.

“Mickey,” Vee calls rushing into my room.

She looks down at me but I avoid her eyes. I’m bitting my lips to keep in a whine and I cant control the shaking or breathing.

“Okay are you sick or did you take something with your brothers.”

I don’t answer.

“God your shaking.” And she goes over to the closet. She reaches up to get a blanket from the top. She has it and steps back but as she does she looks down. “What the fuck is all of this?”

My ne…. My stuff she found it. She takes a deep breath, obviously annoyed. That alone makes me feel worse. “Milkovich, I am not going to have you leaving shit on the floor. God this is a mess, have you SLEPT IN HERE? WHAT THE FUCK MIKCKEY!” And she starts to PICK IT UP.

MY NEST, SHE IS DESTROYING MY NEST!! MY FIRST EVER NEST… its all gone in a matter of seconds. It’s in her arms and gone out the door.

I Hear sobbing and I don’t know who it is, until Vee is in front of me touching my forehand.

I move away from her touch with a whine. I cant take it now.

“Jesus kid, you really are messed up. I told you no drugs, but we will deal with this later.”

The sobbing gets loader.

“Ok, you just wear this off. Ill check back later. You don’t look like you over dosed. Don’t die.” Vee says as she leaves the room. Kev in the back ground asking if I am okay.

I shake and I cry and my mind starts to leave me. I don’t know where I am or how long its been when I come out of it. The early morning sun is coming through the window. I stand up, and look at where I hid for who knows how long, the small space from the side of bed and the wall. The blanket is wrapped around me. I take a few breaths and go to the closet, not looking at where my nest used to be. I grab my some clothes and throw them on.

I know what I have to do.

I put on my shoes and then grab the camera. I thank God or who the fuck ever that Kev and Vee are asleep.

I leave out the front door and I walk and walk and walk.

By the time I get there I have it all figured out. No one has to know it was me…

I open the door and walk to the front desk.

“How can I help you?” The older women asks, eyeing me up and down.

“I need to speak to Markovich.”

Chapter Text

“Tony, there is a Milkovich here to see you… I don’t know, the one with dark hair... The boy with dark hair…All he said was he wanted to talk to you…I’m not a mind reader Markovich... Fine, thank you.”
The graying women looks up at me, she looks like she would rather be in bed right now, to be fair so would I. “Come on, I’ll show you where to go.” Standing she yells behind her back “Dave watch the desk.” She comes around to the front and starts walking down a hallway, the same one I walk through months ago…

I take a deep breath and try to forget about that day. I try to forget about all of them but its like I have a fucking ‘worst moments’ slide show playing in my head, over and over, scenes I came back to earth this morning. I fidget with my hands in my hoodie, well Red’s hoodie. I need his smell right now. I’m so scared of dropping this camera, or just losing it somehow, some pick pocket getting it… god I am so scared right now. I know my face says it, I can feel my eyebrows practically touching my hairline.

When the officers desks come into sight every anxious feeling in me picks up by ten. My heart is pounding so loud I’m surprised this lady cant hear it. There are so many people here. I thought it would be slower. In my mind it was just Markovich. Markovich sitting down and listening. Now, well now I am realizing how unplanned out I really am. Maybe I should have given this to one of my brothers… but I am pretty sure they all have warrants out on them… and I couldn’t do this to Mandy… As usual, its only me.

When we reach Markovich’s desk the lady doesn’t even say anything she just turns around and goes back to where she came from. When I look toward Markovich he is eyeing me like I am about to bounce on him. His eyes squinting slightly, but still sharp and critical. I cant hold his stare.

“What do you want Milkovich?”

I open my mouth and then close it. I look around the room at all of the people, the other officers. They all know who I am. Seeing a Milkovich voluntarily come to a police station is like seeing a fucking unicorn. They are all staring and whispering. I cant handle their stares either so I look down at my shoes.

“Come on Milkovich, I don’t have all morning.”

I look up then, his tone is getting shorter. The kind of shorter that says hurry the fuck up.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Obviously. So come on, I’m all ears.” He says this as he looks at his computer and starts typing.

I cannot say all of this shit out here with all of these people. I need a private room. I need him to listen.

“Could we… could we go somewhere else?”

He doesn’t look up from his computer. “Whatever it is you can tell me here.”

I’m not going to get him to move. Not without giving away to everyone else why I am here, and I can’t do that. I stand for a moment, just thinking. There has to be a way to still make this work. The camera was a back up, a plan z. But it has quickly become my only option.

“If you have nothing you can leave.” Now he is looking at me. His eyes intense and hard. Fuck, fuck I hate this.

“I… I have something. A video, Terry is doing… shit he shouldn’t be doing…” this has the pig intrigued. He is looking at me know, looking at my clothes and noticing the hour. Milkovichs aren’t known for rising with the sun.

“I want to make a deal.” I say, keeping my voice low, so all of the nosey ass pigs cant hear me.

“What kind of deal?”

“The kind where I give you something and you promise to leave someone alone.” He moves his hand, motioning for me to continue. “So, the video, it has two people. Well maybe more, but I’m just talking about Terry and… the other person.” He squints his eyes at my odd language but I push on before he can ask. “If I give you the video, you cant tell anyone about that other person.”

“So, you want me to give blind immunity to a crime I don’t even know about yet?”

I close my eyes and take a breath. “No. Not exactly. I… I don’t think the other person does anything wrong. Its Terry. I don’t care if you charge him with shit, you just cant give away the identity of the other person. You cant tell anyone who they are, or.. like what fucking happens…”

Markovich shuts his eyes and pinches his nose, taking in a deep breath. I know he wants whatever I have on Terry, but I also know I sound ridiculous.

“So you want me to watch a video and only see Terry and not pay attention to any other shit I see?”

“Ya.”

He rolls his eyes, and glances around. Not seeing anyone in particular. “And, if I do this you’ll give me the video?”

I pause, unsure if I am really ready to do this. But, Markovich’s face is getting annoyed again, so I shake off the doubt. “Yes.”

He looks at me, his mouth making a funny shape. “Fine.”

I still don’t know if I can trust him. But, I have no other choice. Terry deserves this shit. My hand is shaking as I pull the camera out of my pocket, and I cant fucking hide it. This asshole definitely notices, but seeing the camera in my hand perks him up. When his hand is around it, I pause, and pull it toward me, his vice grip not letting go. “You promised.” I look into this eyes, making sure he knows how important it is. He shakes his head and says,”Ya.” Then he has the camera. My biggest secret in my entire life is in this pigs hands.

“You better charge him with enough to make it fucking count!” Is all I say before I get the fuck out of this place.

I hop on the L to take back to the Ball’s. I feel like… I don’t know what. I keep thinking someone is behind me, watching me. Like some asshole is going to pop out of a corner to and scream OMEGA! I had to do this, I couldn’t just let Terry fucking sell me. He has ruined my life in so many ways, I am not letting him do this to me any more.

But, its more than Terry. My uncles could try and sell me too, if they knew. Hell, if word got out that there was an Omega Milkovich, I wouldn’t be able to walk the streets alone. Even if I have beaten the shit out of plenty of assholes, if someone knew all it would take was a single word, said in the right tone and I would be on my knees… I have to stop thinking of this. My heart is still all over the place and I can’t stop shaking. I can’t let the Ball’s see me like this again. I just want to see Ian, but I don’t even know if I am ready to say anything about this.

By the time I get back to the house its quiet. I think I got lucky and they are both left for work, but then I heard Vee call from upstairs.

“Mickey, that better be fucking you.”

She comes running down the stairs, pretty fucking fast. Her face is a weird mix of emotions, but the one I get the most is pissed off. I am not surprised.

“Hey.” I say, trying not to look at her while not making it obvious.

“Where the hell did you go? And what the hell were you on last night?”

“I wasn’t on anything and I went to see Mandy.”

“My ass you weren’t on anything. Don’t lie to me in my house.”

“I am not lying. I swear I wasn’t on anything…” I am way too quiet when I speak, but its 10 am and this day is already too long.

“Bullshit. You obviously aren’t sick. I told you when this started no drugs in my house. I will..”

I try to gain more strength in my voice when I say, “Vee, I swear I wasn’t on anything.” She gives me another look, so I breath in deep and try to think of something that doesn’t sound like bullshit but also isn’t the truth. “I was just… My brothers told me some shit about… about my ma and I didn’t take it well.”

Her eyes squint but before she can say anything I continue,” I’ll take a drug test. I haven’t done shit sense I came here, well except for some Lips weed, but that’s it.”

“I take you into my work right now and you’ll a test?”

“Yes.”

“Okay get in the car.” I turn, still in my jacket and shoes, and head to the door. I hear Vee behind me grabbing her keys. By the time we make it to her car, and I am about to open the passenger side door she stops.
“Go back inside.”

I look at her, eyebrows rising.

“You heard me. Go back inside. I will be home for dinner tonight, we are going to the Gallaghers.” And then she gets in the car and backs out of the driveway.

I’m not sure what to think, but I guess a will take what I can get. Instead of going back into the Ball’s house, I skip the fence and head over to Red’s. I could hear them from the Ball’s driveway. And, I would bet almost anything someone made breakfast. I head up the back door and knock. Carl answers, and when he sees me standing there he puts his hand up for a fist bump and backs away leaving room for me to come in. I see Red sitting at the table and I go to join him. Jimmy/Steve is sitting next to him. That guy is so weird popping up and then disappearing.

When I sit next to Red his focus changes and when our eyes meet he smiles and it is almost enough to make me smile too. But today has already been shit so it isn’t that easy. I know from his slight frown that Ian knows something is wrong. He pushes his plate of eggs and bacon to me and tells me to eat the rest. He says it in a way that doesn’t leave me room for argument, so I eat the rest of his plate and I drink the orange juice he puts in front of me. Maybe I feel a little better form eating something, I don’t know. I do know that my heart is beating quite so fast, and I feel like maybe I can relax a tiny bit. And, I know that’s not the food, its just Ian.

“What are you doing today?” I ask. Ever sense my brothers handed me that camera I have been fighting telling Ian. About the camera, about the stupid no locks on the Balls doors, about the Kev and shower, about my nest… I wish today we could go up to Ians room and stay all day. But that wont happen, I already know he is busy and I am not going to hold him back with my stupid drama.

So when he says he is going to train and then go to work, I just shake my head and say cool. And when he gets up to leave, I go with him. He doesn’t ask why I’ve decided to stick to him like glue, he just bumps my shoulder when he can and that’s enough for right now.

I watch him train, and I ask him questions about ROTC. Then he goes to work and I follow along too, sitting near the back and pretending I don’t notice him looking over at me. I read celebrity gossip and we talk about school and stupid teachers. He quizzes me on math equations and history facts and I ask him about his plans after West Point.

All in all I love listening to Ian. And I don’t care if he knows that anymore.

We show up at the Gallaghers together, and I try not to look at Vee when we go through the door. We all sit to watch a movie when dinner is finished. When Vee finally gets up to leave she calls for me to join. I look at Ian who looks back at me. Then he calls out,” Can Mick spend the night?”

I hear mumbling from the kitchen with Fiona and Vee, then finally Vee says “whatever.”

I sleep on Ians floor that night. I know I would feel better next to him, but this is good enough for now.

The next day I make myself busy enough with Ian that I spend the night again. I know Ian wants to ask what is up. Lip even tried and one point. But I just ignore all of that. I don’t want to think about any of this shit. I just want to be around Ian.

When Monday morning finally comes around, and I come down for breakfast Vee is already there drinking coffee with Fiona. I know she has been talking about me by the way Fiona gives me the side eye.

When I go to grab a cup for myself Vee says,” I don’t think so. You have been here long enough this weekend. Get over to the house and get ready for school there.”

I do not want to argue. Honestly my body hurts from all the stress I have been feeling the last two days.
So I just nod my head and go next door, texting Ian as I go. Letting him know I would be walking with him in ten minutes. I use to hate the whole spending every minute together and him always knowing where I was. Now I think I am worse than he is sometimes.

I get next door and find Kev sitting at the table eating breakfast. He has deliveries Monday mornings so he is always up and out pretty early. “Hey man.” I hear him say and I head upstairs to change.

By the time I am back down Vee is home. She looks ready to talk to me about something important. Whether its about Friday night fucking gym class, I don’t know, but I don’t want to do it. Somehow luck shines on me when the front door bell rings. Vee sighs but walks over, pointing at me, “We will talk.” Then opens the door. I walk into the kitchen and grab a breakfast bar but freeze when I hear whoever the hell is at the door.

“I am here to talk to Mickey mamma, and you and Mr Ball as well, if possible.”

What the fuck.

I turn to see some asshole in glasses and a sweater and dress pants. A social worker for sure. And behind him is Markovich. I freeze when I met his eyes. I don’t hear Vee or Kev talking but I see them all going to the kitchen table, three feet away from me. My ears are ringing, I feel my skin go cold.

Don’t panic, don’t panic…I can’t fucking breath right, how did I use to breath.

“Mickey, please come sit with us.” The asshole says. I don’t know how many times he said it because I am still staring at Markovich. I don’t even move, my legs feel like they’re thigh high in wet cement.

“What the fuck did he do?” Vee asks and I look at her with wide eyes. Whatever is about to happen can’t be good. I see Kev tilting his head like a puppy dog and I can’t focus on fucking anything. What the fuck is going on!

“Mickey hasn’t done anything wrong.” This loser says looking over at Markovich. Vee scoffs, she is so fucking pissed! She looks at me glaring and shaking her head. My stomach has a shooting pain go through it. I hate this, I hate it.

“Mr and Mrs Ball,” Markovich starts seriously and then grabs onto he table chair to stop myself from attacking him. He keeps his eyes and Kev and Vee, he wont even look my way. “ It has come to our attention, through recent evidence, that Mickey has been subjected to… major abuse at his fathers hands.”

“What does that mean?” Vee says but I don’t really see her or hear her.

“Fuck you” I say as I stand quickly and rush to Markovich’s chair. How fucking dare he! How dare he! We made a deal, I made a fucking deal! He couldn’t do this, the fucking asshole. He can’t do this to me!!!”
I get to his seat and push his shoulders, not even moving him. But he still raises his hands in defenses, soon standing to block my blows. I know Kev and Vee are moving to grab me but I’m fast. Throwing fists, shouting things I don’t really know, just a lot of “You asshole, we made a fucking deal!” And I know I am getting some good hits in, but he wont do anything to fight back. Stupid fucker.

Then, before Vee or Kev get to me, Markovich growls, deep and meaningful, and I freeze. I make myself ready to go again but right before I lung Markovich commands me to “Stop, be quiet and sit down.” And before I can think of what I am doing, I am sitting on the floor my mouth sealed shut. And if I wanted to kick his ass before it is nothing like what I feel now.

I see Kev and Vee’s faces shifting, the young Alpha living under their roof just responded to a command. And is still obeying it.

“What the hell?” I hear Kev say. I don’t see him. My eyes I glued shot, I cant look while this happens.

“Mr and Mrs Ball, evidence was given over the weekend, showing what appears to be, evidence of…” Markovich cant finish it the first go around, good that stupid asshole deserves it. “We were given evidence showing the illicit sexual abuse between Mr Milkovich himself and a young omega,” Then he points his head toward me,”Mickey Milkovich.”

“What the fuck.” Kev and Vee say at the same time.

Chapter Text

My body feels tight, like it is being bound together with invisible wire. I can’t move my mouth, I can’t make any noise, I can’t move. I hate this, I have felt this, I have had this done so many times and I hate it. Even with my eyes held tight I can feel my tears falling down my cheeks.

I know everything going on around me, I am aware of it all, but my brain circles back to STOP, SIT DOWN, BE QUIET. Like its being screamed in my ear every few moments. I can’t get away from this.

I know Vee is next to me, I can smell her like she is right beside me.

“Mickey, stand up. Talk to us.”

Like I could fucking do that if I wanted to right now.

“Mickey? God damn it Tony, release him from your command.”

“He isn’t under my command anymore.”

“Like fuck he isn’t, look at him.”

“That would only last a minute, there is no way its still…”

“FUCKING DO IT NOW!” I hear an alpha voice boom, and if I could move I would cower even more than I am now. Who was that? It had to be Kev.

“Fucking fine.” Then in a command voice I hear it,”Release.”

And its like all the wire has been cut and my body is my own. But even now it betrays me, as I start shaking uncontrollably and the most pathetic fucking whine I have ever made comes out of my mouth and then another and another.

“Breath baby, breath.” Vee whispers in my ear and I swear it sounds like my ma. God I want my ma.

Suddenly there is a blanket around me, that new born scent all over it. I am wrapped up in it, Vee is rubbing my back. And suddenly I remember where I am, and I remember who I am. Whether or not these assholes know that I am not an Alpha doesn’t matter. I have no choice. I have to be strong.
Being who I am, an Omega, a Milkovich, it doesn’t allow me to be weak, even for a moment.

I breath deep. One breath, two, three. I will away any whinnying left in throat. I tell my heart to calm the fuck down. I run my hand down my face getting getting rid of my tear stains. And then I open my eyes, push off Vee’s hand and stand up. My face is stone, and I hide an tremble I have by putting my hands into fists. They don’t need to know, no one needs to know, how much I wish I could wrap up in this blanket and hide away in a soft bed, with Ian there too. But, I drop the blanket and stand in front of Markovich. I breath deep and I spit in that fuckers face.

His reaction is immediate, a deep growl ready to take on the challenge some Omega just posed on him. But another deep growl takes over the room, so much deeper than the pigs. I back away as fast as I fucking can, pumping into the chair behind me. All as Kev grips Markovich shoulder, holding him down and keeping him down with his growl.

“Leave it alone Tony, you fucking deserved it.”Kev tells him, and there is no arguing.

Markovich stays down, his eyes glance to me and then away. And, I can see regret in them. Just a tiny a bit, but it is there.

“Let’s all sit.” Kev adds, taking Vee by the waist and guiding her to a chair next to social worker. I am trying my best to be an asshole, but I can’t do too much with two Alpha’s around. Including Kev.
So, I go to take a seat on the other side of the table, but Kev stops me. He lightly touches my shoulder and guides me to a seat between him and Vee. Leaving Kev and the social worker at the heads of the table and Markovich sitting on the opposite side of me and Vee.

It’s Vee who starts now.

“So, I am assuming charges are being made against Terry. Why did you come to our home to tell us this? Why make this so hard on Mickey?”

He clears his throat. “ I apologies if we did make this harder than necessary.” He says glancing my way. Like I fucking believe that!

“We will be pressing charges against Terry, however we need more details, which is why I wanted us all to sit down.”

“More fucking details, you having a fucking video what more do you need asshole?” I spit at him.

“How do you know what evidence he has?” Vee says turning to me. To my surprise she doesn’t seem angry.

“Mickey is the one who brought in the evidence. He also tried to make a deal with me..”

I interrupt the pig there,” I did make a deal, and you fucking broke it. I am not doing shit for you Markovich!”

“Mickey, I can’t hide the identity of an Omega being abused by there parental Alpha!”

“Then why did you sa…”

“I didn’t know.” He exclaims as he brings his hands down to the table with too much force. It isn’t too loud or aggressive but it still makes me back up. It surprises me even more when Kev makes a quick deep growl, sending a warning to Markovich and somehow not scarring the shit out of me, maybe because it wasn’t directed to me, but direct for me, to help keep me safe…

“Let’s all calm down.” The social work finally speaks.
“The video gives a lot of evidence, however we need actual testimony to help make any charges stick. We would like Mickey and you Kev to come down to the station and interview.”

“What do you need Kev for?” Vee asks.

“We will be issuing a compassionate command on Mickey. Most Omegas, especially his age can be apprehensive to turn on their Alpha’s. It’s standard issue. We will need his current paternal Alpha present to preform the interview.”

He makes it sound so easy. Like we would all just being grabbing fucking Sunday brunch. Fuck that, I don’t want to be commanded to talk about what that bastard did to me! In all honesty I don’t think I could talk about him or what he did, but that doesn’t mean I want to volunteer for a command!

“We are hoping we could get you down there today by..”

Right as I am about to say what the hell, Kev beats me to it.

“No fucking way. You just came in here and lay this shit out. Mickey is not talking about shit he doesn’t want to today.”

“Kev, come on, we need to get this going..”

“I said no.”

“Ya, fucking hello. I am not talking to you ever…”

“Kev,” Tony turns to Kev to face him full on, sitting up straight to his full height,”you have to see reason here. This is Terry, you know Terry. We need to strike while we ca..”

That’s when I see Kevs face really turn, I have never seen him so… I don’t even know, huge, terrifying. It’s like his challenge stance by a million. I slink back in my chair to get away from it.

“He is my son, and I said Not Today.”

Markovich leans back, I can tell he is surprised too and pretty intimidated. “Ok, ok we will talk time frames before I leave.”

“Well, now that the show is over, we can move on.” The social worker adds on once the tension clears down a little. “Mr and Mrs Ball, Mickeys change in status will bring a lot of changes to his care. For starters, we will need to get him into the doctor right away.” He looks directly at me,”Mickey have you had your first heat yet?”

My face immediately goes red. What did he just ask me. I stare down at the table and don’t say a fucking word. Three days ago and this whole room had no idea I was an Omega, and twenty minutes ago half of the room didn’t. I don’t even talk heats with Ian. This is a fucking nightmare on so many levels.

“I am sure we can come back to direct questions a little later, maybe with less people around?” Vee says and oh my gosh I could hug here for saying that.
“Understandable,” he says,” we will need to follow up with those questions up as soon as we can. Besides medical updates, we will be updating Mickeys school of his status, and making sure any classes that need to be adjusted are..”

“Like gym class?” Vee says and I can see her looking over at me, my head still down. I should lift it, but fuck I don’t want to.

“Exactly. We’ve already updated his status within DCFS. Here,” he says as he lifts a large shopping bag,” is an emergency nesting kit. And here,” he said pulling out an envelope form his ugly ass jacket,”is a stipend to take Mickey shopping for new clothes and any actual nesting materials he will need.”

Vee takes the envelope and whistles. I am guessing I will never see that money. But, what he said still surprises me.

“Why would I need new clothes, Vee just bought me some when I came here?”

It’s Vee who answers,”You have Alpha clothes, which makes sense now why they fit so bad, and why you are always itching yourself all the damn time.”

I lift my eyes brows, still confused, so she goes on.

“Male Omega clothes are made for the shape of you, so your pants don’t down fall down all the time. And they are softer, so they don’t make you itch all the damn time.”

Why didn’t I know that?

“Oh…” I knew there was a male omega section in stores, I saw it with Vee, I knew the clothes looked softer, I guess I just didn’t get the real reason. I don’t want to say anything else, this is just so humiliating. I feel so fuck small right now, and not in the good way, like when Ian holds me. But like, just small.

“Your monthly payment will also be increased, once we know the full extent of the abuse it may be increased further. We really just need that full information.”

I don’t know why but when I hear this shit it’s just another stab in the chest. It’s the only reason someone would keep me around… they get more money. At least that might incentive’s them, its really all I have. I don’t want to go to an Omega home any more than the Alpha home. Alpha homes are fully of horny teenagers, Omega homes are full of horny old Alphas, and I’ve dealt with enough of them in my life.

I know Vee and Kev are looking at me, and I try to just keep my eyes from falling to much.

“Can we talk about the money later, in private.” Vee tells the social worker. “What should our immediate actions be?”

“You will need to get him into an examination today.” Markovich says and my face scrunches thinking about having to get one of those again.

“We will need that, to judge Mickeys health and development and for the charges against his father.” It’s the social worker who adds this, probably to stop Kev from growling at Markovich again.

My stomach rolls. “Why do I need one of those right now. I thought that was just after…” I cant finish that sentence.

“Have you gotten one before?” Markovich asks, his voice to eager.

I don’t want to say how many I’ve gotten… I don’t think I even know the real number. My eyes stay glued to the table, I can feel my face getting more red by the second “Ya…”

“Where, when?” He asks so fast, almost sounding excited.

“I went to the Omega clinic…”

“Ok, when? Do you remember the date?”

I feel my heart drop a little more, twisting my stomach. “No… I don’t remember the dates I we…”

He interrupts “Just a rough idea, I’m sure we can work with them to find the exam information if we have a rough..”

No I stop him, not wanting to drag this out any longer. “ I went a lot. I don’t remember the dates, if he was home for awhile, and I could tell it would.. happen a lot, I would just go every other week. I know they keep my exams there, Ms Rachel can give them to you.”

I feel Vee touch my back, and start rubbing. I don’t want to push her away, even though I know I should.

“So, Terry ra… assaulted you, more than what was shown in the video?”

“I didn’t watch the video, I didn’t even know he did that until the other day. But, it happened a lot, for a long time…”

“How did you know it was on the video if you didn’t watch it?” Vee asks me quietly, still rubbing my back.

I take a breath, trying to relax, I might as well tell them. “My brothers were sent to get the camera. Tony looked at it. They decided it should be up to me, on what to do with it..”

“Who sent your brothers for a camera with that shit on it?”

I look at Markovich, and I can’t say it. I know now why I would have to get that fucking command. I don’t care about Terry getting busted, it just hurts too much to say out load, to all of these people.

“Your father?” Markovich says shaking his head.

“They were told to take it to 8TH and 5Th west, meet some guy names Ultav.”

“Your father was trying to sell you.” It wasn’t even a question, it was so fucking obvious.

I heard a low grumble coming from Kev, god what was with him. He better not just start growling at me all the time. I mean it didn’t feel like he was growling at me right now, but it still felt like a lot.

Markovich took a deep breath. “Kev, get back to me today on when you two can come in. This case is bigger than I thought. I’ll have to bring in some other teams. I will need the results of the exam as soon as your done at the doctor today.”

“I still have to get that?” I look at Vee, I really really don’t want to.

“We will need a full Omega health exam.” The ugly ass social worker tells me.

“Full exam… is it worse then… then the other one…” my eyes stay on Vee, my voice low.

“I don’t think it will be easy Mickey.”

She says and I appreciate her honesty. Fuck I am not going to cry.

“Can Ms Rachel do it?” I say it, just to her.

“For the strongest case, the exam will need to be done by a fully certified doctor.” What the fuck is the social worker ass’ name…

I feel my heart sink again. God I really want to punch Markovich.

“I bet she would be in the room with you.” Vee offers. “I can be there too, if you want.”

That makes me feel a little better, I guess. I just shake my head.

“Alright, Kev, Vee I will be in touch. Kev, please remember we need to get this done quickly.” Markovich says as he stands and heads to the front door. Before he leaves he looks back and says,”Thank you Mickey, like he just remembered I was the reason he was fucking here.”

The social worker stands too handing a think envelope of paper work to Vee. “Here are all of the records needed for school. Please call if you need help with that. I will be in touch about the funds, as well as a few other things, like counseling options for Mickey.” And then he shakes their hands and he is gone too.

And just like that, my life is totally fucking changed.

Chapter Text

I have never been in a room that seemed so quiet and so load at the same time.

“Ok,” Vee says after the moment of silence goes on way too fucking long. “Well.. Kev you get going. I am going to call in and get my shift covered, then see about getting this… exam done today, then stop by the school and drop all this shit off.”

I keep my eyes on the floor. I can’t believe this is happening. Somehow this whole situation is worse than I could have imagined it to be.

“Ok, so I’m just like scheduling that interview shit?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, Mickey when do you want to do that interview shit?”

I don’t look up, I don’t know how I will look at either of them ever again. I just shrug my shoulders and grunt, I bit my thumb nail. I try to make it look like I don’t give a shit. I try not to pay attention to the odd scents floating around the room, or uncomfortable feeling in my gut.

“Ok, well how about Wednesday afternoon then, when you finish school. I can get John to watch the bar. Sound good?”

My stomach coils, my whole body seems to tense at the idea of being forced to talk about all the shit that asshole put me through. But I just say,”Whatever.”

This is when Kev should walk away, move on with the day. Instead there is still a pause as he doesn’t move. Then in an inquisitive voice he says,”So, you’re really an Omega?”

I shift away and look up at him from the corner of my eye. I keep my face straight, but shit I still don’t trust him, and now he knows. I don’t answer him.

“ I just wonder, why you don’t really smell like an Omega?”

“Kev, don’t do this right now.”

“I was just curious!”

The thing is, I still don’t want to make either of them mad. So not answering one of Kevs stupid questions will leave me annoyed all fucking day.

“I use suppressants and shit.”

As Kev shakes his head like he understands perfectly Vee says pretty loudly, “What! What suppressants? Do you know how shit those are? Go get them, and whatever else you have. The doctor will need to see them.”

I give her a look but she gives me a bigger look. So I turn and start going upstairs. If they think I am going off of my suppressant then they can suck my dick!

“Well, bye Mickey.” I hear Kev head for the door and I lift my hand in a farewell, not bothering to turn and face him as I do so. “See ya later babe,” he says to his Vee.

At least he wasn’t trying to make a big deal out of this shit.

When I get up to my room I close my door and pull out my phone. I was suppose to meet Red five minutes ago, I look out my window and see him still standing by his gate, ready to walk to school.
I can’t talk to him right now. If I say anything to him I would probably end up with word vomit and tell him absolutely fucking everything. I don’t want to deal with that, I don’t want to think about this more than I need to right now.

So, I text him.

Firecrotch Im staying here today I will see you later

Who was over there? I saw Tony and a social worker. Are you ok?

I look out the window and see him starting to walk toward the house.

Stop walking over here worry wart
I’m fine
Ill see you tonight at dinner

I see him stop and read his text

Worry wart, lol you’re cute Mick. Well if you’re home alone today maybe I should ditch and we can hang out ;)

Shut up I am not cute ass face. I’m doing shit today I’ll see you at dinner I gotta go

I look out the window again and see him smile and then frown, then he looks up and catches me staring at him. Fuck. I flip him off and walk away from the window.

Go to school frowny mcfrownerston

Cute <3
Fine, I’ll miss you baby

Shut up bitch
Miss you too
Good luck with the new drill at ROTC tell me about it tonight

I will
Miss you

You said that already
Miss you too

You said that already

“Mickey, get down here we have to go.”

Fuck, I take a deep breath. God I don’t want to face Vee, I don’t want to get an exam, I don’t want new clothes, I don’t want to do any of this.

“I don’t hear you moving Milkovich, get down here.”

I have to stop thinking so much. I walk over to my bed and reach under the mattress for my suppressants and blocker. Vee made it clear when I moved in that I clean my own sheets. So I never had to worry about her looking here.

I slip them in my pocket and head down stairs. I stop before I reach the bottom. I hear a familiar fucking voice that isn’t Vee.

“Come on Vee, tell me what happened! I want to know!!”

“Fi, I told you I can’t. Let it go.”

“Vee, come on. Fucking Tony was here, with a social worker. I WANT TO KNOW!”

Of course Fiona is here to be a nosy bitch. I’m ready to stay back and see if Vee does tell her, but my cover is blown when I hear a squill followed by a very excited,”Mickey Mouse.” Before I know it Liam is wrapped around my legs.

God this kid, he makes me so fucking happy. I reach down and grip under his arms to lift him up into a hug. “Hey little man,” I say quietly to him. He has his arms wrapped around my neck and I am squeezing him so close. I feel his little nose tuck in to my neck and breath deep and I do the same. Then I start tickling him and he pulls back, laughing and smiling. Liam is pretty quiet most of the time. I love when I an bring out this side of him.

“Ok, ok, Mickey give the baby back, we have to leave.”

Fuck. I grab Liam one more time and hug him close. Taking in his smell. Hopefully it will help me stay a little more calm today… I really can’t deny how much I love the smell of a baby anymore. Especially Liam.

“Ok Liam, I gotta go bud.”

“Mickey bez hry?” – Mickey no play?

“Not now buddy, Ill see you at dinner time though.”

“Ya sydzhu z toboyu ta Ian?” – I sit with you and Ian.
“It’s a plan.” I say and Liam leans over, getting so close, and gives me a kiss on the check.

“Buvay Mickey.” – Bye Bye Mickey.

Just as I am about to say bye again, Fiona says “Mickey you can’t pretend to understand that gibberish. His teachers are saying it could really mess up his language development.”

She sounds so sure of herself, so fucking bossy.

“I’m not pretending, I do understand.”

“Mickey..”

“Tse Ukrayins’ka suka.” – Its Ukrainian bitch. “I guess I speak it more than I thought.” I tell her as I head for the door.

“Wait what.” I see her looking toward Vee.

“He speaks Ukrainian remember.”

“You taught Liam fucking Ukrainian?”

I have a memory of Terry telling me off for speaking in my first language. For talking to my mom. Telling me how stupid I fucking sound. I close my eyes ready to hear Fiona say something like that. So it surprises me when she nods her head. “That’s fucking awesome! Look at this little genius.” She says as she squishes Liams cheeks. “Keep it up Milkovich.”

I grunt in response and then head outside. I don’t know what to make of Fiona on a regular day. I am not ready for any level of her right now.

The drive to doctors office is quiet. I don’t think Vee knows what to say to me, and I don’t want to talk anymore than I did before I did this morning, when she had no idea about all this shit.

When we get into the doctors office, she gives my name. We don’t have to fill out any paper work this time. I don’t know if that’s good or not.

We get called back and Vee comes with me into the exam room. It’s different than the last one, more like the rooms at the clinic. I see the stirrups on the exam table and I try not to cringe.

“You okay.” Vee asks after she caught me staring at me staring at them.

I look at her and shrug my shoulders. “Whatever.”

“It’s okay to be scared Mickey.”

Like fuck it is I think to myself, but I just tell her “I’m not scared. I’ve had an exam before… this one can’t be too different.”

“Well, I have never had one like this, but I have helped doctors preform them. Most of the patients have a hard time. I can tell you what to expect, if you want me to?”

“I don’t want to know, I just want to get this done.”

“Ok, fair enough. Do you want me to stay in the room?”

“Is Ms Rachel going to be here?”

“Yes, I spoke with her before we left.”

“I should be fine then.”

Vee shakes her head yes,”If you change your mind its ok. I will be here if you need me okay?”

I guess that’s kind of nice to hear but I just say,”Whatever.” I look out the window to avoid her gaze.
She has been rude to me for weeks, now suddenly she is being so nice. I don’t buy it.

There is a knock at the door and Ms Rachel comes in. “Mickey.” Is all she says before she is wrapping me in a hug. I’m so glad she will be here. She even brought me a blanket, covered in new born scent.

“Ok Mickey. We will leave the room and let you change into the gown,” she says pointing to the crappy hospital gown on the exam table. I hate those things, they are so thin and they always smell like disinfectant.

“I brought these.” I say pulling out the scent blocker and suppressant pack I had in my pocket.

Ms Rachel takes them from my hand and looks them over. “I can’t say I’m not happy that you will finally be talking over your health Mickey. I do wish it didn’t have to be like this.” She goes to leave but turns back around. “Sweetie remember how strong you are.You have been through so much and you can get through this. All of this. You are the strongest Omega I know, and now everyone else will be able to see that too.” She smiles and turns to leave the room.

Vee gives me a look and smiles too. “I’ll be outside the door if you need me.” I shake my head to let her know I heard and then she leaves too.

I change, putting my close on the chair in the corner, and sitting on the table. I do not look at the stirrups again.

When the knock comes at the door I am expecting it, when Rachel comes through the door I smile, but then I smell it, a strong spicy warm smell. It would be nice enough if it wasn’t very much Alpha.

Ms Rachel sees my face shift and body tense. She is about to speak when the Alpha doctor reaches out his hand to shake mine,”Hello Mickey, my name is Doctor Williams.”

I don’t shake his hand, I back up a little without thinking. I look at Ms Rachel with eyes wide and eyebrows practically reaching my hair line. My face probably white, well whiter than usual.

“Mickey, we should have confirmed this with you, I am sorry.” She says taking my hand. The Alpha Doctor has back up, next to the sink. “For an Omega full health exam an Alpha has to preform the procedure. There are specific hormonal reactions given when an Alpha is in the room. That’s why it’s necessary.”

My heart is racing. Why didn’t I know this!

“Mickey, I apologize for not informing you of this before I came in the room.” The Alpha says from his corner of the small ass room. “And, Nurse Rachel was right. An important part of this exam is to see hormanal reactions in their purest form, that wouldn’t be possible with a Beta or Omega doctor. I have been trained on how to handle these exams with care Mickey. Every touch is done as clinically as possible. As a basic standard every exam has an Omega or Beta present to help regulate the procedure and they report back separately on the doctors behavior. We do our best to help you feel safe.”

My eyes are straight on the floor and I am trying not to shake. He isn’t too big, not as big as Terry or Kev. I could probably take him. But god I don’t him doing this, but what fucking choice do I have?

“What kind of… touching?” I ask, barely above a whisper.

“I will have to stimulate your neck glands and get a swap of the secretions. As well as a chest exam and a full external and internal genital exam.”

My stomach rolls. I can’t do this.

“Mickey, I will be here the whole time. I wont let anything bad happen to you. We can go as slow as you need to.” Ms Rachel says as she takes my hand.

The thing is, I know I have to do this. I cant back down on any of this shit, now that they are drawing up charges against Terry. If he gets off now, I would be lucky if he sold me.

I will tears away. I am not going to cry. Crying never helps anything. Showing your scared never helps anything. I still look at the door. Vee is out there…

Ms Rachel hasn’t taken her eyes off of me. She reads my face and nods her head.

She opens the door,”Veronica, can you come in please?”

And then Vee is there, holding my hand. “Are you okay?”

“He didn’t know about the Alpha doctor.” Ms Rachel tells her.

Vee makes a stupid fucking noise. Her face is probably stupid too, but I haven’t looked at her.

“Do you want me to stay?” She asks quietly. I don’t say anything, but I squeeze her hand.

“Ok.” She says and she grabs a stool, she keeps holding my hand the whole time.

The first part of the exam is the genital. I know my legs shake as they go up in the stirrups. I see Ms Rachel right beside the Alpha doctor not letting him leave her sight. She has a tray of medical tools I don’t want to think about. I close my eyes, squeezing them shut and telling myself to breath. This isn’t Terry.

“Ok, Mickey first we will do the external exam.”

He announces before he touches me anywhere, but I still jump every time I feel his hands on me.
I hear him saying things to Rachel. But, its getting fuzzy. My body is starting to get that far away feeling.
When I feel his finger… there… a whine escapes my mouth that I try to cover up. He stops what he is doing and Vee starts petting back my hear. It’s too many hands, too many smells.

I hear Ms Rachel calling my name, but I can’t seem to answer. The next thing I know my legs are lying flat and Vee is still petting my head. I look over at her, confused. I left again. It takes me a moment but it all comes back to me, and I shutter.

Vee smiles, a sad kind of smile. “You with us again Mickey?”

“What?”

Then Ms Rachel, and the damn Alpha doctor come in to focus. Ms Rachel helps me sit up and hands me a glass of orange juice.

“Is it over?” I ask while starring at the floor.

“We were able to finish the genital exam, Mickey. Do you remember any of it?” Ms Rachel asks.

“The beginning part… I guess.”

“Do you know what happened to you?” The Alpha asks.

I take a minute, I’ve never had to explain what happens when my mind leaves.

“My mind… sometimes when it got pretty bad… my mind just sort of turned off…”

I hear him sigh, “That is a good way to describe it Mickey. The official term is called disassociation. It isn’t uncommon in cases like yours.”

“Who fucking told you about my ‘case’?”

“I don’t know your specifics Mickey, but I was told that there would be probable trauma before I met you today. After completing the first part of the exam I can see that there was extreme trauma. But, lets discuss that when we are finished with the other portions.”

He doesn’t really leave room for comment. So I just grunt. I really need to stay stronger. I shouldn’t be acting like such a bitch. It’s just a fucking exam, I have done this shit plenty of times, I am practically a professional.

I take a deep breath and let go of Vee’s hand. I sit up straight and force myself to look the Alpha in the eye.

“What’s next.”

“Let’s do gland secretion, then chest. I also will need to add on a command test. It wont be invasive, I just need to see how you react and how long it will hold.”

I do my best not to make a face. ‘It’s just an exam’ I tell myself again.

The Alpha goes to the sink to wash his hands and then comes over, standing right in front of me. I look him in the eye, even though everything in me tells me to look away. ‘God I miss Ian.’

“Okay Mickey, I am going to message both of your Omega glands, using my finger bare tips, for one minute. Then I will use a swap to collect secretions. The collections will be tested to see your hormone levels. We will see how they compare to other Omega’s in your age range. Are you ready for me to begin.”

“Whatever, just do it.” Is my response. But I still jump when he touches me. God having his hands on me is hell. I start shaking a little, and I want to look away from him so bad it hurts. It’s just a minute, I can do a minute…

“Mickey, you don’t have to keep eye contact. It’s perfectly natural for you to look away.” The Alpha doesn’t say it in a condescending tone. He almost sounds sorry for me. Fuck that. I can keep looking.

“It will probably be better for the results if you look away Mickey. We don’t want the numbers to be off and have to do it again.” Ms Rachel says over his shoulder. I know she is probably lying but I still appreciate it.

“Fine.” I say, working hard to not be too quiet, and I feel so much better when my eyes leave the Alphas.

I still have to fight flinching away from him, or growling. But I manage for the minute, and the swab is nothing.

“Ok Mickey, now I am going to exam you chest. In male Omegas the breast tissue shouldn’t be to large, but there should be enough to support milk glands that develop after presentation. This development is also affected by your hormonal balance, which is why I need to check their development.”

This sounds like a bunch of horse shit to me. But I take a deep breath and remember that doing this means Terry gets locked up and away from me.

I look at Rachel, she comes over unties the back of the gown and I let it fall down to my lap. Then she grabs the blanket I have lying next me and puts it in my lap, letting me hid my hands and giving me something to look at.
The Alpha tells me again before he touches me, I still flinch. Luckily Terry never touched me there much. But, well I am not a fan of my chest or torso. It’s so soft, nothing like Ian, who is so hard and muscular. I don’t like not having a shirt on. I use to shove Ian off if he tried that with me. But, like with most things Ian won me over, and well, I kind of like Ian touching me there now. Ha, ok more that’s kind of. But, this shit feels nothing like when Ian touches me. It feels cold and I don’t like the Alphas hands. I’m actually finding it really hard not to growl at him.

When he is done he writes whatever shit he has to into his computer.

“Okay Mickey. Now we will move on to the command. Then a few questions about your health history to go along with the data I have collected.”

“Do we have to do this?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I don’t get any pleasure from this Mickey. Rachel is her to observe. If I were to abuse this test, she would report me and my license would be taken away, I would also face time in prison as well as a hefty fee.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Omega rights are taken much more seriously than they use to be Mickey.”

“Whatever. Just do it.”

“Let’s talk through what to expect first.”

I shake my head, still not looking at him.

“I will issue a simple command. I will tell you to lay back on the bed. You will try to break the command. There will be a time limit of five minutes. I will record how long it takes to break the command. If the time goes over five minutes, I will release the command.”

I start to fidget and look around the room.

“Mickey, does that sound okay?” Vee asks.

I might as well say it, even if I do look weak. “Can it… can it be a different command.” I don’t say how many times I have been commanded to lay down…

“Would a command to stand be better? If not please let me know, we can think of a different command to test with.”

I think back to the times Terry commanded me to stand. What he would do then… how he would touch me…

I shake my head no.

I’m not looking at anyone, I cant tell what their faces look like. But, there is a shift in scents. I have to act stronger, its so obviously they are feeling sorry for me and I hate it. I lift my head slightly.

The Alpha takes a deep breath. “How about I have you cross your arms?”

I think it through, that seems easy enough. Terry told me to do stuff with my arms, but he never said to cross them.

“I guess… only five minutes? And Rachel and Vee will be here?”

“Yes, five minutes and they wont leave the room. Mickey its important that you try and break the command, okay.”

I bite my lip. I have never been able to break a command. It did seem easier to fight them, in the beginning, but soon they became like tight wires I could never get loose from. Command wear off eventually, after a few hours. That’s the only was I got out of them…

I don’t want to tell them all of that though. And, who knows maybe this guys commands are weak anyway.

As soon as he gives the commands my hands fly up, crossing over each other. I have no thought of the movement and no control over it either. The tight wire is wrapped around them. I start to panic but I make myself breath. I will be ok. I look at Ms Rachel, who has a soft smile for me.

“Breath Mickey. Just Breath.” She tells me.

I feel a hand on my between my shoulder blades as Vee stands and starts rubbing my back.

I try to fight the command. I try to visualize the wire coming undone. I try hard, just like I did everytime Terry yelled at me. Sometimes, like the last time he… he did stuff, he was so high that his commands weren’t as forceful. I was able to fight off his weaker commands, but even then it was hard. Looking back now, I wonder if he was really as high or as drunk as I thought. He probably just thought he didn’t have to try so hard, he was probably trying to train me to follow weak commands, fucking asshole.

I try even harder to get my arms to move, even the smallest amount. But, they don’t budge. And when the Alpha says release, the imaginary wire leaves me and my arms fall to the side. I can breath easier, but I avoid everyone’s eyes again. I fight off the gross feeling the command leaves. Between Markovich this morning, and now this, I need a shower today. Hopefully we get back to the house before Kev…

“Thank you, Mickey. I know that must have been difficult for you.”

I try to keep my face even, I am just ready for this to be over.

“Okay, the last part of the exam is your history and then we will have a discussion about what I found.”

I shake my head, ready for whatever he has for me.

“At what age did you present?”
Oh god, its this kind of questions. I take a breath, remembering how lucky I felt that no one was home the morning I woke up with my bed soaked and room smelling sickly sweet. Also remembering how stupid I was to think that a weak scent blocker I lifted would be enough to throw everyone off.

“I was twelve. About four months after my birthday..”

“And when did you first… experience intercourse?”

Experience intercourse, fucking hell. “I was twelve…”

He takes a moment,” Roughly how long after the presentation before you experienced that?”

“It was three days later.”

“Thank you.” He says as he types away at this computer.

“How long after the presentation did you experience your fist command?”

“Three days.”

“How long before you were.. before you experienced being knotted?”

I don’t miss that he didn’t say if I was knotted. I don’t even pause when I say, “Three days.”

“Fuck” I hear Vee breath out next to me. I don’t look over. I just stay with a straight face looking toward the Alpha but not at him.

“Thank you again, Mickey. That couldn’t have been easy. I am sorry you went through that.”

I just raise my eyebrows to that.

“I just have a few more questions for you. We are almost done. How many times have you been commanded?”

I let out a laugh with no fucking humor. “I have no fucking clue… it was… a lot when he… ya know.”

“Rough estaminet?”

I cant come up with a number. He fucked with me so many times, he would give multiple commands in one night. “It has to be in the hundreds... I don’t know.”

“Alright,” he seems to hesitate before he asks, “And how many times have you experienced being knotted?”

I shudder at that. I cant count that either. When Terry was home, it was whenever he had a chance. “I don’t… I don’t know. It was whenever he… and when he went through ruts it was…”

“He shared his rut with you?!” The Alpha intrupets loudly. Even Vee and Rachel make sounds after I say it. Vee standing for a moment in the corner. I know its messed up, but I was so use to it… it sucked but my whole life seemed to, so that was just another part.

“Any time he was out of jail and in rut. I was able to get out of the house a few times…”

The Alpha shakes his head. “How old were you for the first rut, and how…how many did he… have with you?”

I look to the floor “I was twelve, and I don’t know… if its one a month for three years, I guess I missed like… maybe nine all together.”

The Alpha stands and then sits again. His smell starts to fill the room.

“Last question, when did you experience your first heat?”

I take a moment, embarrassed to asnwer, even after all the other questions. I whisper so quietly I doubt he can hear me,”I haven’t had one.”

“Excuse me a moment.” The Alpha says and he leaves the room.

I worry for a minute that I made him mad. Then Ms Rachel comes over and takes my face in her hands, I look up to meet her eyes for just a second. She has tear in them as she says “I am so sorry baby. I didn’t know it was that bad.”

I just shake my head “You couldn’t have done anything. It’s Terry.”

“He isn’t a God.” I hear Vee say. I look over and she has a funny look of anger and grief on her face.

“He controls whether I live or die so it sort of feels that way.” I answer her.

She is over to me in a flash, wrapping me in a hug. “Not anymore, Mickey.”

It’s a few moment before the Alpha Doctor comes back in. Apologizing for needing a moment, I still notice his red rimmed eyes.

“Mickey, thank you again for sharing all of that information. I wish that never happened to you. That being said, before we go over the results, I see you brought in some over the counter medication you take. It looks like suppressants and a topical scent blocker?”

I shake my head yes, dreading what I am about to hear.

“How long have you been using these?”

“Twelve. I just got whatever stores had, it wasn’t the same each time. I usually get the maximum strength..”

The doctor shakes his head. “Mickey, I’m sure that with all you have been through, hiding your scent has brought you comfort, and even felt necessary at times.”

I shake my head agreeing with him, but still dreading what he will say next. I know this stuff is shit for me but the idea of just letting my scent out for the world to have makes me nauseous.

“Mickey, these drugs mixed with your history, are leading to a… hormonal hurricane. I need to insist you quiet them immediately.”

I know my face goes hard and angry but he continues.

“These drugs will lead to organ damage, which I will need to have you tested for separately, today please.” He adds looking at Vee who shakes her head yes. “These drugs will lead to a hormonal heat as well. The only reason you haven’t had one yet is because of your age and growing body. A hormonal heat would be hard on any Omega Mickey, but it would be beyond measure for you. You would need to be hospitalized.”

I don’t know what to say to that. A normal heat is scary enough, having to go to a hospital because its so bad…

“I know your are young and this may not worry you yet, but they also have horrible affects on your fertility health. It can lead to birth defects, miscarriages…”

My eyes go wide at that, I never wanted a Terry mutant, and I know Ian and I are too young, and we will never last… but just the idea of hurting one of Ians pups has my heart racing.

“It hasn’t fucked with my like that right?!” I asks sounding to panicked I am sure.

He looks at me a moment, like he is trying to figure something out, and then shakes his head no.

“With the results we got today I would say no. But continued use, even a few more months Mickey, will lead to that.”

I look down again and shake my head. I cant do that to Ian or Ians baby, which is so fucking stupid because there is no baby.

“I am writing a prescription for a hormonal flush, to help clear your system. You need to get these toxins out of you as soon as possible.”

I look up, seeing his back as he scribbles on a paper pad, tearing the paper and giving it to VEE.

“A flush? How long.. how long before I start stinking?”

“Your scent isn’t a stink Mickey.” Rachel says chidingly. “Your scent is beautiful and natural.”

The doctor looks back over at me,”If you start the flush today you will be free of the affects of the suppressants and blockers in about three days time.”

“Fuck…”

“It will be okay Mickey.” Vee says as she comes over to rub my back again.

“On to the rest of the results. Mickey, this wont be easy to hear.” He pulls out a chart, showing the Male Omega anatomy. He obviously guessed correctly that I have no idea what my body looks like or has included with it. He points at the bottom,”This is where your Omega gland is located. The gland controls hormone release. The gland grows in before presentation, its maturity leads to presentation. For most the gland is stimulate during your first heart, with intercourse, and especially knotting. Once knotted the gland floods your body with hormones, its one of the reasons an Omega finds the act enjoyable.” He pauses then before continuing,”For others, like yourself, the gland is stimulated to early and to often before it has time to grow with your body and become more resilient and increase in elasticity. The premature…activities causing it to rupture. This causes your body to have Omega hormone over load. Your body produces much than an Omega without a ruptured gland. This causes your scent to be stronger in and out of heat, you are more susceptible to commands, your heats will be stronger and last longer. Your fertility will be a concern because of how high your increased chances of pregnancy will be. You will also suffer strongly from the emotional adversity to any forms of birth control. I suggest that your partner give you a conceptive in secret, if I am honest, and for your mental health, do not use condoms during heats, your need to be breed will be too strong and it will lead to emotional outbursts and depression.”

My eyes go wide at that. “I don’t want a baby…”

“You enjoy a baby scent, it brings you comfort now, even before you have had a heat?”

“I.. ya I do…”

“Mickey, your need to have a baby will grow with age. For most I would stand behind their right to choose and own the autonomy of their own bodies. But that choice was taken from you along time ago. Being breed and having pups is something you will have to do in your life time, for emotional stability.”

I hate that I am not as mad as I should be. But all I can see are little red headed babies. And god damit, I would fucking love that so much. Just not today.

“It doesn’t mean now, or even the next five years. But I would say before you’re twenty six you should make sure you have a child.”

I just shake my head, trying not to think of this too much.

“Now after the exam and I and data from your hormone levels I would say you are months away for your first heat. Going off of the suppressants will drive that time up as well.”

I go pale at that. I do not want to have a heat.

“You will know your heat is coming days before, when you enter preheat. You will become overly hungry, your skin will become sensitive to touch, you will crave attention and admiration from your familiar Alphas. Your need to submit and please will become stronger as well. You may also experience irritability and head aches. And of course increased sexual desire. Also keep in mind that everyone is different so you may have symptoms I didn’t mention.”

“Sounds fucking awesome.”

“Once these symptoms become clear, get home and stay home. You should go to your nest, and try to get as comfortable as possible. You will need to eat and drink as much as possible. If you are in a comfortable enough relationship you should invite that Alpha to share your heat. With first heats I don’t usually recommend this, but in your case it would be very helpful.”

I see Vee out of the corner of my eye making a face and getting squirmy. I don’t she wants all that shit in her house. Plus she has no idea about Ian. She probably thinks I would brings some trash from the street back to her place.’

“Expect to feel desperate need during your heat Mickey, you will need to be knotted many more times than other Omegas. You will need to buy a knotting toy, especially if you wont have an Alpha with you. You may need to go the hospital if you don’t have an Alpha. Lastly, Mickey its important that you don’t try and fight your urges during heat. You will want to submit and be knotted and be breed. You have to let these urges win, emotional distress during a heat will lead to months of depression and emotional turmoil… do you understand?”

“That’s a fucking lot.”

“I know, I am sorry Mickey.”

“You said that already.”

“Mickey,” I hear Vee say,”It’s going to be alright.”

I just shake my head, but when has shit ever worked out for me?

We finish at the doctor, Rachel giving me the biggest hug she ever has. And Vee doesn’t give me a hard time when I sit in the back seat. I don’t want to be too close to anyone right now. We pull up to Target and I give her a look in the review mirror.

“Do we really have to shop?”

“I have seen your rashes Mickey. Now that I know the issue we are going fucking shopping.”

“I don’t even care about clothes.”

“We can be fast.”

“You can just keep the money. I don’t care, I don’t want to look like some stupid Omega with my ass hanging out.”

“First of all,” Vee says as we walk through the automatic doors “ I will not just keep that money, they gave it us because you need a whole a new wardrobe. Which you are getting. Eventually. I know this was a lot and we still need to get to the school. So lets make it easy, we will pick up some basic pants and shirts, maybe a new sweater and some extra blankets for your nesting.”

I don’t even look at her, all I can think about is how she ruined my nest the other day and she still doesn’t fucking realize it. I’m honestly still bitter about that.

“I don’t need a nest.”

“I don’t care if you think you don’t need it or not, you are getting one. Come on, pants are this way.”

I don’t know how the hell Vee knows where everything is in this store. And there is so fucking much! She makes me try on like five different pair of pants, it would have been six but I threw the ones with high ankles and skinny legs back at her, “No fucking way!”

By the end I have five new jeans, that fit fucking great and don’t itch. Vee looks at my ass a little to much, and mutters a “it makes sense now” which I don’t appreciate. But I cant wait for Ian to see me in them! I also got like ten shirts, including like five of these real nice button up shirts that are soooo soft. And a nice soft sweater, it’s a little big and its so warm.

Then we going to bedding and I pretend to annoyed while I pick out a two of softest pillows I have ever felt and a blanket that looks and feels like a cloud. I through it in the cart and when Vee goes to touch it I glare at her until she backs her hand away,”Okay…” she says.

Right before we leave we stop at the pharamacy, how does one store have so much shit? And get the fucking hormone flushing shit. Vee even makes me take it before we leave the store.

It still took a long time, but I got to change into the new clothes before I left the store, and it does feel really nice. I will never tell Vee, but the new underwear and socks she threw in last minute are also a fucking god send. I didn’t now they made clothes that don’t itch! And when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror all I can think is how much I want to see Ian. After this crazy day, I’m glad I’m thinking that.

We stop at the school next, which is awkward as hell. Vee makes me go with her, but she lets me sit in the hallway while she talks to the counselor.

“What are you going to tell them?” I asked in the car before we went in.

“I am going to give them your updated designation paperwork, actually this is probably your only destination paperwork… god they suck! Any way, we are going to get you in the correct gym class. And I will let them know you may be missing more days due to legal issues. And we will have them work with us on missed days.”

“That’s all?” I try to say it in a hard voice, but I know its not.

“That’s all, they don’t need to know about… the other things.”

I don’t want to tell a bunch of people, I don’t want to start smelling and having people notice me. I just want to go on being scary, dirty Mickey Milkovich. But, that Mickey was never really me either, and for the thousandth time today I remind myself I have to do this stuff. My dad cant get out on these charges. I don’t want to think of what would happen if he got his hands on me.
So I wait in the hall and fight the urge to get ahold of Ian. Ill see him tonight.

The school shit doesn’t take too long, though I did hear the counselor laughing pretty loudly and then Vee shouting, “Shut the fuck up!” Then it got real quiet. So I am guessing she pointed out the ‘no prior paperwork’. Apparently you’re suppose to be formally tested before high school. Whatever.

When we get home Vee brings the nesting stuff we bought and the bag the social worker guy brought that morning. She starts to try and help get it set up but I really do growl at her so she calms down and backs up.

“Fine, Ill hang up your new clothes.” I watch her go to the closet and try not to remember the other day.

I get pretty into the whole arranging part of the bed making, so I don’t catch Vee calling my name the first time.

“Mickey…”

“What now?” I ask without turning around.

“Mickey look at me.”

I turn to see her looking at me with a weird expression.

“Mickey, did you build a nest your closet?”

I freeze because one I don’t want to talk about it and two its fucking embarrassing to have a nest in a closet. But, apparently my no answer was an answer.

“I destroyed your nest. God Mickey, I am so sorry. I knew those clothes were your brothers… I just wasn’t thinking. I honestly don’t know how we didn’t notice any of this before. Mickey…”

She walks over to me, looking me in the eye, her own looking so sad. I just scowl but she pulls me into her and hugs me so tight. I am still pissed but I don’t stop her.

“I am so sorry.” She whispers in my ear. The hug last forever, and when she pulls away she has tears in her eyes. “I am inviting your brothers over, and Mandy. We’ll have dinner okay?”

And then she leaves the room, mumbling to herself about “how did I not see that?”

Eventually I am satisfied with my bed. I want to lay in and roll around, I also want to go get Ian, which would be perfect if he came back from ROTC nice and sweaty… but then I’m thinking about how gross I feel, and that feeling grows by a million as I remember the day all over again.

Kev isn’t home yet, I yell down and check, so I hurry up and get in the shower. Vee also got some new towels and fucking soap for me. It smells nice but I’m not telling her that.

The I actually brought in boot from my room, shoving it under the door to try make a door stop. I know it wouldn’t really work, but it makes me feel a little better.

The shower is actually really nice, and Kev doesn’t get home until like five minutes after I am all dressed and laying in my new nest. I don’t know what to feel about today. So much shit has happened and I just want to go see Ian. I know its going to be weird at dinner with the new clothes, and they all saw fucking Markovich and DCFS this morning, but I just want Ian.

When Vee finally calls down“Mickey, get down here, we are going to the Gallagher.” I try not to run too fast. “I don’t what you are about to say, we are all going to this dinner… wait what are you doing?” She asks as I head for the door without complaining.

“I’m going next door. You just said its time to go.” I respond, my eyebrows climbing.

“You’re not going to complain, and you’re wearing those clothes?”

“I thought you said you like my clothes?”

“I like your clothes Mick, you look very handsome.” Kev tells me. Vee and I both give him a look, that very much says what the fuck. “What, you’re suppose to tell young Omegas when they look nice, it helps boost their confidence.”

“Where the hell did you hear that?” Vee asks, hands on hips.

“I read it today, on some Omega parenting blog thing?”

“You read something?” Vee says, sounding very surprised.

“Ya, I know!” Kev responds throwing his arms in the air. Then he continues in a more serious tone, looking right at me “I just was thinking and fuck Mickey, you deserve a good fucking dad, so I’m trying my best dude! Also, um, I would like to apologize for the challenging Ive been doing sense, ya know, you got here. I just really didn’t know. I mean it all makes sense know, but before, I just thought you were on tough weird tiny Alpha! But I mean I’m still really sorry.”

I can tell that he means it, I know he is sorry. I should say its ok or whatever, try to be buds. But, I don’t think I can do that. I don’t know if I can just hang out with Kev, he still kinda freaks me the fuck out just by living. So I just “Ya whatever, can we go now?”

“Why are you so excited to see the Gallagher?” Vee asks as she heads to the door too, Kev right behind her.

“I’m not I’m just hungry.”

“Ya right, well if you smoke with Lip tonight only take a few hits. I don’t want that weed messing with your hormone flush.”

I blush instantly at her mentioning that in general but also in front of Kev!

“Ya whatever, lets go.” I say as I head out the door.

I make it to the Gallagher door and Ian answers before I can knock. He opens the door and looks me up and down, looking a little confused but then smiling too. He whispers “You look nice.” Before Kev and Vee get close enough to hear.

I will my face to not turn red and push past him as Kev and Vee reach the door. I see Jimmy/Steve looking at me a little weird but I ignore it. Then Ian is nudging my shoulder and saying “lets go upstairs and see Lip.”

Vee yelling “Remember what I said!,” as I climb the stairs.

“What did Vee say?” Ian asks as we reach his room and he closes the door. Lip is up on his bunk, he looks over at me and glances back to book. Then looks back again.

“Why do you look like an Omega?”

“Because I am one Jackass.”

“Ya, and like five people know that. So why are you dressed like one?”

I am already on Ians bed. Back against the wall legs out in front. My scent will be obvious in three days. I have these new clothes I don’t hate. I never wanted to be an Alpha, I kind of like looking like I really want to. I just don’t want the harassment, or for people to know about Terry, or my uncles to sell me… fuck this day and Tony Markovich.

I don’t really know what to say, and I want to tell Ian, but not fucking Lip. So I got with a half truth and give Ian a look to let him know I will tell him the truth later.

“I got busted. Terry got word to my brothers, he had a picture of me he wanted to them to take down to some asshole. They actually managed to think shit through and realized what that meant. So, the cops got involved and now the word it out that slick comes out of my ass and I can get pregnant.”

“You’re dad tried to sell you?” Ian is imidiatly right next to me. Sending out confusing messages of anger and protection.

“Calm down,” I say leaning away from him. “Yes, I’m not that surprised. But, they made me go off the suppressants and shit so my scent will be… whatever in like a few days. So every fucking body will know.”

“Why didn’t you just stay on them?” Lip asks “If you still don’t want people to know.”

“Apparently they are like crazy bad for me and my organs and shit. And, they could make me go crazy or something?”

“They mess with your hormones too much?” Why is fucking Lip so smart about some shit.

“Ya something like that. Anyway I don’t want to fucking talk about this, especially with you.”

“Fine whatever.” He says as he gets up and goes downstairs.

“We need to get some weed from him after dinner.” I tell Ian and he shakes his head.

Ian starts to lean in, his hands going for my waist, his mouth inches from mine. I pull me head to the side. “Can we just like, do this?” I say tucking into his side, but not making any other moves.

“Of course.” He smiles back, holding on to me and tucking me in close too.

“It was more than just my brothers finding a picture.” I whisper.

“They know everything Ian, its horrible.”

“Everything, everything?”

“Ya… and I have to like be interviewed about shit, to go against him in a court case!”

“What?!”

“It’s so fucking much, this whole day has been shit. I missed you so much, I wanted you there so bad.”

“What did you do today? And baby just tell me when you need me, Ill be there!”

“You have to go to school Ian. And besides they don’t know about you, just Terry. They made me go the doctor and get an exam. It was horrible. And Tony put a command on me and the stupid doctor!”

“What!”

“I mean I was kicking Markovich’s ass but whatever its was still fucked up.”

“I’m going to punch him in the nose the next time I see him, that fucking cunt.”

I laugh, “I spit on him, that felt good.”

Ian hugs me closer. “Are you okay, Mick? And you alright over there with Kev and Vee? You could come stay here, I can talk to Fiona…”

“I’m fine Red, I’ve made it through life this far right.” I say sarcastically.

Ian just holds me closer and I try to enjoy the few moments we have alone. I also try really hard not to think about my heat, or my apparent need to have Ian’s babies.
When we do go down for dinner I am happy to see lasagna, I love that shit. And at the table I get to sit next to Red, with Liam on my lap. He refused to be in his high chair and squirmed his way onto my lap. “You promised,” he reminded me. I just smiled and hugged him next to me. I was happy to go along with it. I also ignored all of Vee’s looks as I snuggled Liam and helped him eat his dinner.

After dinner we sat on the couch, Liam had run off to play something with Jimmy/Steve and Fiona. Kev was sitting in the chair, Lip on the other, Ian and I on the couch while Little Red and Carl sat on the floor.
Lip did in fact pass around his weed, and I got in three hits before Kev told me to cool it. I gave him a dirty look from the corner of my eye.

I blame me getting too relaxed on that third hit. I normally wouldn’t have sat so fucking close to Ian in front of everyone. But the day sucks and he was right there. Something stupid happened on the show we had on and I started laughing, nudging Ian as I did. I happened to look over then and I saw Kev looking at us. His face looked like he was doing algebra in his head. I cursed under my breath and tried to scoot away without being obvious. But then Ian laughed at some thing and nudged me. And must have looked like a very unfriendly friend nudge in the whole world because Kev fucking gasped. His eyes wide like a fucking cartoon.

But before he could say anything Liam ran back in the room. Vee, Fiona and Jimmy whatever right behind him.

“Ian sweet face, Liam wants me to marry you.” Fiona laughed, as she carried a funny looking roll of news paper towels.

“What?” He asked.

“Liam is playing family and he said he wants you to get married. So come marry me!” Fiona laughs again and so does Jimmy/Steve.

“It is really cute, Ian.” Vee adds.

“Get married and have baby Ian.” Liam tells Ian as he climbs up on his lap.

“You want me to get married?” Ian asks playing along.

“Yup Alpha Ian gets married and has baby Liam!” The little guy is so serious and I try not to make it obvious how cute I think he is.

“Ok,” Ian laughs,”I am suppose to marry Fiona?” He says as he stands, holding on to Liam as he does.

Liam just laughs. “No, Alpha Ians merrys his Omega! And they have baby Liam!”

Oh shit… I can tell Ian does not get this, and I see zero ways out with out looking like an ass and more importantly hurting Liam. I cant hurt Liam.

“My Omega? Who, should I marry Vee?”

“No.” Liam yells outrage in his baby voice. He squirms and Ian lets him down. He runs to Fiona and makes her hand over the paper towel/flower bouquet. Then runs back over toward the couch.

“Alpha Ian merry Omega Mickey and have baby Liam!” And now he jumps into my lap pushing the paper towels into me.

I see Ians face, its pure panic. To be fair a month ago I would have freaked out. But after today, this shit is pretty funny.

Everyone in the house is silent. Because the Mickey they all think I am would freak the fuck out and probably yell at Liam and ditch this place as fast as I could. But that isn’t me, because Ian is here, and I could never hurt Liam, and Carl and Debbie are right there too.

So I squeeze Liam in close and I feel Ian sit down next to me, already senescing that I wont storm off.

“You want me to marry your big brother?”

“Yup. And have baby Liam.”

“I cant do that Liam.” The little guy makes a pouty face that is too cute.

“Omega Mickey and Alpha Ian get married and have a baby!” He instinct.

This house is still ready for me to explode I can feel it.

Right as Fiona starts to tell Liam to let me go I say “ I cant get married and have a baby yet Liam, we need to finish school first!”

“Alpha Ian and Omega Mickey finish school and THEN have baby?!”

“Sounds good to me little man.” I say squeezing him.

Then Ian leans over to us and ruffles Liams head say “Sounds good to me too.” Then that fucker leans in further and kisses my fucking cheek!

My face immediately goes red and I duck it down, but Liam and Ian still laugh at me.

And it takes a whole fucking two seconds for Fiona to gasp and practically yell “OH MY GOD!” Right at the same time Kev really does yell “I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

Chapter Text

I was so fucking glad to be out of the Gallagher house that night. Everyone had something to say after the whole, Omega thing. Fiona was pissed she didn’t know and got even more pissed when she found out Lip knew. When she asked “How did you know?!” Ian and I both glared at him and he managed not be an ass and keep his mouth shut. For some reason Jimmy and Kev started growling at each other, which kind of freaked me out, which Vee noticed and knocked Kev upside the head and then he calmed down. Liam decided to ask me questions about getting married, thank god he asked in Ukrainian, because Fiona would have freaked out all over again.

She didn’t really calm down until Ian and I both told her we weren’t planning to get married or have a baby. “We swear.” But she kept looking at Ian weird, she made him say it a few times.

Then when it had all kind of calmed down, Carl looked up at me from the floor, where he and Deb were still sitting watching all this shit, and asked “You really an Omega?” I would say his face was weird but its Carl, he is cool but always a bit off.

I wrinkle my nose and say “Yay.”

Then he looks over at Ian, puts his fist up for Ian to bump and goes “Niiiice.” Like some sort of old pervert would. But then fucking Ian did fist bump him! Ian, Lip and Carl all started laughing, until I hit Ian upside the head and glared at him.

He just smirked and said sorry. He was not sorry, I could tell. I leaned in and said “I wont do that thing you like for a two weeks, if you don’t shut the hell up.”

He shut the hell up.

After that it calmed down enough, and at the end of the night Debbie asked if I wanted to help with her day care this summer. I told her I would think about it. I don’t tell her I think I would be bad for business. Who would want a Milkovich watching their kid?

Before I leave, I get Ian alone for a minute. Which was harder than before because people kept watching us. But I managed it. The minute I closed the door to the bathroom, because it was the only room that worked, I pulled him down and started scenting him. We have only scented a handful of times now, but I know how hard this night will be, and I know it will make it a tiny bit easier. We maybe take too long but I don’t care, apparently my scent is already getting stronger because Ian was getting a little carried away.

It was Vee who interrupted us, knocking on the door and telling us to get the fuck out of there. Ian growled a little and god my knees shook. But, I don’t want to piss her off. So I stepped away, straightened up and opened the door. Before Ian could get two steps I told him to wait, Ian and Vee giving me a questioning look, “Give me your sweater.” Ian smiled and Vee did a funny little head shake. I got my sweater, so I didn’t care.

That night, back in my room, I called Mandy, she was pissed I had told her about all this shit earlier. I know she understood though. We have learned for so long to just not talk about stuff, especially the bad stuff, its hard to just start doing it. She was glad I did tell her though. She even said maybe it was good, to finally be able to be myself. I guess she isn’t wrong about that. It will be nice to have to hide so much, to not have to work so hard to act like an Alpha. I can’t totally act like an Omega, I cant just be a bitch, but it should be better… Mandy also said she would call up my brothers, so that’s good, cause I don’t actually want to talk about any of this shit.

Once I am laying in my new nest for the night, Ian sweater next to me, I know I wasn’t wrong about tonight being hard. The whole night was filled with images of Terry and Kev and even Markovich. I couldn’t sleep and even the nice new nest didn’t help a fuck. I would stir from what light sleep I could managed, convinced my door handle moved.

When I came down for breakfast that morning Vee took one look at me and shook her head.

“I am calling your brothers today. You have to build that nest up? Do you want to go shopping for anything else? Do you want Ian to come over and scent it?”

“You would be okay with that?”

“Mickey you obviously need help and Ian can help you. I’m just happy you have someone you can trust.”

She pauses a minute and asks “If you want something of mine or Kevs just let us know.”

I don’t tell her that all I really want is a door lock.

Luckily I don’t have to say anything at all because Kev comes down the stairs, all sleepy faced and hair messed. He slept fine. Jerk.

He walks down and takes a deep breath, “Mickey, little man, is that your scent coming in?”

I stiffen because it has been getting noticeable scenes yesterday afternoon. This flush shouldn’t even be done until tomorrow and by lunch time my scent will probably fill a room.

I don’t look at Kev after he asks and I know my face turns red even though I try not to let it.

Vee goes over the cupboard and pulls down my prescription. “Almost forgot. You have three doses left after this.”

“Cant I just wear the scent blockers?”

“Mickey, you heard the doctor.”

I ignore that.

“Are you ready for school?”

I shrug my shoulders, I do not want to go to school and face all of those assholes, but I have to…

“Mickey.” Vee says “I know today, hell the next few days, will be the hardest. I will call the school and come up with an excuse for gym ok. Just these next few days. Next week you are going. But, get use to being in school like this, try not to worry about it too much.”

“I can really wait?”

“Ya, just see if you can go to Art class, or maybe study.”
This actually makes me really fucking happy, but I bite my lip to keep from smiling. “Ok, cool.”

I meet Ian at the gate just as Fiona is coming out too. She looks me up and down and says, “Good morning Mickey.” And then walks off down the street.

“I guess she doesn’t like me again.” I laugh.

“She is just being a bitch, don’t worry about it. She will get over it.”

I shrug my shoulders and start to walk, Ian catching up quickly. I feel him for a second getting closer to me, I hear him inhale, taking in my scent.

“You smell so good baby.” He says quietly. I still fucking blush and I hate it.

“Well you will be happy to know I will stink even more after school?”

“This isn’t your full scent?”

“No…. My full scent will be in on Wednesday…”

“Wow, Im… Im going to have to work on not beating the shit out of anyone who sniffs in your direction.”

I expected him to laugh, but he doesn’t.

“Very funny.”

“I am not joking Mick, you smell really good, and I am a jealous asshole.”

He looks down and takes my hand, squeezing it tight. Even now I don’t stop him, even if I am sure we look like idiots. Before we get about half a block to school I let go. My scent and new clothes will draw enough attention. But shit, if I get to hold Ian’s hand walking to school now, that sounds fucking awesome.

It’s nice to have Mr Cox for most of my classes. He obviously talked to Vee because he ‘casually’ brings up that he adjusting the curriculum calendar, for his classes and my other classes, for when I will need to be out during the month ‘for personal time’. It’s weird but I appreciate it I guess. He doesn’t look at me differently or comment on my scent, which is becoming stronger every hour. By the time its Wednesday Im pretty sure it will be suffocating us both.

As casually as I can, I ask “Mr Cox, if you want to use another room tomorrow, that’s cool…”

“Is this room too distracting?”

“Well, no..”

“I think this room has been working well for us. Is there a specific reason you think we should change?”

“I just… its pretty small… and maybe you would like a… a window or some shit.”

I expect him to agree, or maybe I will find on of the those plug in neutralizer tomorrow. I don’t expect what he says next.

“Mickey, your scent doesn’t bother me. Mr and Mrs Ball and I all spoke. Your doctor passed along some information and we all think being around your natural scent would actually be very good for you.”

I know my stupid face turns red, and I look off at the far wall, avoiding his eyes.

“Your scent doesn’t bother me, and it will continue to not bother me. I think you being as comfortable as possible is important to help you succeed in school, Mickey. I want you to be yourself, I want you to feel relaxed, I want you to be yourself!”

He makes that sound nice I guess. I shake my head, agreeing as nonchalantly as possible.

“Can we work on this math shit now?”

And then we move on, and that’s all that’s said.

Everything was going ok, I got a few head turns, I noticed people trying to sniff me out, I definitely noticed surprised faces. When lunch time came around and I was sitting next to Ian with Mandy and Lip on my other side, there were definitely some whispers, but no one was saying shit… so it wasn’t too bad.

It wasn’t until the last class, Art, that shit hit the fan. The teacher had left the room and Jackson FuckIDontKnowHisLastName decided to get chatty.

I was at my seat, sketching the stupid fruit bowl sitting in the middle of the room, when he asked “Are you trying to prank people today, Milkovich?”

I ignored him.

“Come on, you dose yourself in perfume or some shit?”

I still ignore him.
I hear him laugh to his friends. “I mean, it doesn’t smell bad…”

I look at him now, scowling and flip him off.

He laughs with his friends more. “I mean if that is really you… I wonder if you taste as good as you smell.”

“Fuck off, cock sucker!”

Now he and friends really laugh and I notice the rest of the room watching, whispering to each other and waiting to see what will happen.

“Oh, so you’re feisty ya. I bet I could handle you.”

“You couldn’t handle a fucking toothbrush. Seriously, who want to be around you and you’re fucking breath.” To be fair he has horrible breath.

Everyone in the room laughs and I try to go back to my sketch, but this fucker is pissed now.

“Oh so you think you funny?”

“Funnier than you asswipe.”

And I can smell him getting worked up now. “Think your some real tough shit don’t you, you probably aren’t even a fucking Omega. You’re just fucking with everyone.”

“Well you’ll never find out. But, you are getting real close to getting my foot up YOUR ass.”

“I liked to see you try, Omega.”

“I liked to see you eating your own…” and as I am about to finish my insult he does it. I don’t see it coming, even though it’s one of the things that worries me the most.

In a growling command voice he says “SHUT UP.” And my mouth is glued fucking shut.

I feel myself start to panic. Good things have never come after the command to shut up. Who the fuck knows what he will try next. I could be down on my knees in front of this whole class…
But, this isn’t the first time I’ve been commanded. He isn’t the biggest Alpha to ever do it. And like hell I am letting him get another word in.

So while he is laughing his ass off with his stupid as friends, and the rest of the class wears shocked faces, I jump out of seat, moving quickly to his desk and punch him in the fucking jaw.

He can barely get a swing in, while I land throw after throw.

So, forty five minutes later when I am in the principals office with Vee, Jackson and his duchebag looking mom he looks like shit and I would laugh but my mouth still wont open. Vee and the pricipal try and get me to talk, to tell my side of the story but I cant. And he and his bitch as mom are trying to say everything is my fault. Like I just came out of nowhere and started hitting him. It’s bullshit. And I cant even tell them. I see Jacksons eyes watching me, black and blue but happy. Im sure he didn’t think this command would last, and I just have one more thing to thank Terry for.

“Mickey, come on you have to say something.” Vee says in a pleading voice.

I finally look at her. I let my face go a little soft, letting my guard down, as I shake my head. I keep my eyes on hers. My lips going tight from my frustration and I shake my head no again. She is thinking it through and I see the moment she understands. Her face turns so angry I want to shrink back, but luckily it isn’t directed at me.

“You fucking little shit.”

“Mrs. Ball please do not use that kind of language in…”

“He is under a fucking command.” She says to the principal. Then directing her pissed off stair to young Alpha in the room says, “Release him now.’’

“My son would never…”

“I SAID NOW!”

Jacksons eyes go wide with fear as Vee stepped closer to him.

“Release.”

And the wire around my jaw is freed. I take a deep breath in relief. “You fucking asshole!” I yell at him. “IF YOU EVER DO SHIT LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN I WILL..”

“He is threatening my son!” His mother pops in while his face grows angry from an Omega threatening him. He cant fool me, he is a fucking bitch.

“Oh fuck you,” Vee throws at her. He turns back to the principal “If this little shit isn’t expelled I will get every god damn Omega mother in this office! This is not fucking okay…”

“Mrs Ball, please sit down. I agree.” The Alpha ass who tried to expel me the day after I started high school, because ‘You’re a Milkovich. We all know where this is going’ looks over to me. “I am sorry this happened to you Mickhalio. Alphas using commands on other students is not acceptable and it is not tolerated.”

Jacksons mother gaffaws. “I am sure my son was provoked. Everyone knows how Milkovichs are. Jackson you had a good reason right?” She says turning to her son.

“Mamma, in all respect, I don’t care.” The principal says. “We have policy’s for this behavior. This is Jacksons first offense, he will have at home suspension for three weeks starting tomorrow. If this happens again, your son will be expelled.”

“Excuse me? This is such an over reaction…”
“Lady you better shut the hell up.” Vee says, turning her way. The stuffy old Omega takes on look at Vee and she shuts the hell up.

They make me and Jackson sign a paper about the command and the schools follow up. Then they say I cant get the rest of the day off. Like it matters, Ian is about to start his ROTC drill, that was going to be the best part of the fucking day. Now I just want to get out of here.

Vee and I walk down the hall, Jackson annoyingly five feet behind us with his mom. We are about to walk past the gym when the door suddenly opens and Ian pops out. He looks at me concerned, and then sees Jackson behind and his face morphs to anger.

He looks at me again, “I just heard about what happen. Are you ok?”

I shake my head, “Im fine.”

Ian looks at me and really takes me in, he meets my eyes and shakes his head.

Then he turns, walks towards Jackson, stopping him and his mother. “Mrs. Stevenson,” he says as a polite greeting toward her, then he turns on Jackson his face morphed to frightening hardness. Jackson doesn’t even see the punch coming, none of do. One minute he is standing the next he is on the ground, Ian standing over him. His mother backs away frightened, not even protecting her child. When the little shit starts to try and get up Ian puts his booted foot to his throat.

“If you ever even look at my Omega again I will end you.” He growls. The slight smell of urine fills the room but Jackson doesn’t speak. “Say you understand.” Ian adds his boot pressing down harder.

“I understand.” Jackson says quickly.

“Gallagher, drill starts now, get in here cadet.”

We all turn to see the ROTC leader watching from the gym door. He obviously saw it all go down.

Ian steps away from Jackson, he walks towards me, kisses me on the cheek and says, “See you after school.” And then walks toward the gym like nothing just happened.

As he enters the gym we all hear the instructor saying “Way to be an Alpha, cadet. I like to see that fire…” as the door closes behind them both.

Vee looks at me, “Come on Mickey. We still have to get pizza for dinner.” And she walks off down the hall while Jackson and his mother pout in the hallway.

I am not sure how to feel about this latest development but I decide not to give a shit. So I follow behind Vee and try to forget about the skin crawling feeling of having a command put on me.

Later that night Ian comes over to the Balls house to have dinner with us and my brothers and Mandy. It’s a lot of fucking people in the house. I was anxious as hell to have all of these people together, especially now that they all knew shit about me I wish they didn’t. But, with Kev not challenging me all the damn time, my brothers calmed down. And now that Vee was trying to be more understanding she didn’t act like my family came directly from a sewer into her house.

It’s still pretty awkward though. It doesn’t help when Mandy and all of my brothers find out about what happened at school. They are pissed.

“What a fucking punk. I think we need to pay a visit.” Jamie says looking over at Collin and Iggy.

“Calm down, Ian already threatened his life.”

They look over at Ian, “Really?” Collin asks.

“The loser pissed his pants and everything.” That makes them all laugh and everything feels like its calmed down.

“Is that Marty Stevens kid?” Kev asks, and Mandy shakes her head yes. “Hmmm.” He relpies, looking off to the side of the room. God he is so weird.

“I get that its bad…” Iggy starts, sound hesitant. “Im pissed bro. I just.. I don’t get why you didn’t just… like break the command. He only told you to shut up, and he sounds like a pussy. Why did you let it go on?”

I look away, shame coiling in my gut, even though it isn’t my fucking fault. I don’t even know how to answer, because its so embarrassing.

After a minute I hear Mandy tell him,”Dad fucked him up Ig.”

“What?” Jamie asks. But, I cant fucking look at them.

“Terry… Terry’s abuse caused some life long trauma to Mickey. He cant break commands.” Vee tells them.

They all go quiet. The room fills with their scents. “It’s forever?”

“Having a bonded Alpha someday may help… but it isn’t guaranteed.”

“Are there other…side effects?”

“Please don’t.” I say, eyes down. “I don’t… I don’t want to talk about this shit. None of you need to know, okay.”

It takes a minute but they finally say, “Ya, Mickey. It’s cool. Let’s talk about other shit.”

The rest of the night is pretty chill. Or they all act like it is, because their scents are still super strong.
Before my brothers and Mandy leave they all throw their hoodies and sweaters onto the couch. Jamie comes up to me and pulls me into a hug before I can stop him. Then to my horror he sniffs my hair and brushes his wrists down my back, scenting me in a brotherly way. “See ya soon Mick.”
Then Iggy and Collin do the same damn thing. They all fucking laugh at me as I shoo them off.
“Get away from me asshole.”

“Love you to little bro.”

I flip them all off. Except for Mandy, who has always been allowed to hug me as long as we aren’t in public.

Ian gives me a hug I definitely don’t mind and and a little kiss, I pretend the Balls don’t see.

I go back in and start to help clean up when Kev announces he has to head out.

“Something came up, I got go to the bar.” He says as he kisses Vee goodbye. “I‘ll see you in the morning babe.”

He turns to me, “I’m sorry you had a bad day Mickey. If any shit like that happens have them call me. I want to be there okay?” He says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. I think is trying to be reassuring but it just makes me jump a little.

“Okay.”

With Kev out of the house, my families clothes and Ians sweater, I actually sleep alright. I only wake up like two times.

The school day seems to go alright. No comments, no commands. It isn’t until art class again that things get weird. I am about to go into class when Jackson calls my name. He isn’t suppose to fucking be here.

I turn around and see him, bruised up like crazy between me and Ian. And behind him is a man about three inches tall than him and twenty five years older. He is holding Jacksons neck, finger digging in like he had a grip on glands that Jackson doesn’t have. The mans face is covered in bruises too, he looks like hell.

“Say it Jackson.” He says sounding beyond pissed.

“I am sorry for what I did. I wont do it again.” Jackson sounds miserable.

Now the man looks at me and says “There he said it. Now tell your father to leave me alone. Please!”

I am so fucking confused. What did Terry do?

“My father?”

“Kevin Ball. I did what he said. My son wont look at you ever again. Just tell him to leave me alone.”

I try not to look anymore confused than I am. So I just say, “Ok.” And walk in to are class.

I spend the rest of the day trying to wrap my head around the fact that Kev beat the shit out of Jackson’s dad. The only reason I can think of is because of the command. And, I have heard Kev call me his son plenty of times. It’s kind of weird but I thought he was just being weird in front of me, or putting on a show or some shit. But this dude said “my father…” Kev called me his son in front of this guy. When I wasn’t even around. He did it defending me!

No matter how long I am around Kev the Giant Ball, I still don’t know what to think about him.

Chapter Text

It’s 3:45 and I am standing on the school steps, waiting for Kev to pick me up. We have the fucking interview with Markovich in half an hour. I am definitely not fucking nervous or anxious or whatever, no matter what Red seems to be believing.

“You don’t have to do this, Mick.” He tells me as he waits next to me.

“Ya, I do.”

Even Mandy is waiting with us. She doesn’t try to disagree with me. We both know, once this started with Terry we would have to see it through. If I refuse this, if the cops can’t build up a good enough case, I am dead or good as.

I want to take Ian’s hand. I want him to scent me. I want Mandy’s scent too. I feel like such a bitch, but I can’t help it. It’s been hard lately, trying to keep this part of me down, while also having to stay tough. I mean fuck, I am tough, I’m not a pussy. But god damn it sometimes I just want a fucking hug.

I am not sure I could ever be that way though. My scent has come in fully today. It is a lot. People didn’t comment but I have been getting double glances all day, some people straight up starring. Including a creepy English teacher during lunch. I flipped him off and he looked away turning red.

Mr Cox pretended he didn’t notice.

I kind of like it… I have never been able to really take in my whole scent, now suddenly I am everywhere. I can’t really smell the notes, no one can really smell their own, but its familiar enough to know it smells like my mom. I fucking love that.

I just have to be careful. My scent alone will draw in people, people I don’t want to attention from. They will smell me and know I am an Omega and assume they can make me do whatever the fuck they want. Like hell that will ever happen. So even though I want to be close to Ian, I stand back. I keep myself from touching him. And it feels like hell.

Ian turns and looks at me as I lean against the wall by the stairwell. “Come here.”

I keep my eyes forward, “Fuck you.”

He moves closer to me, and pulls me in, whispering in my ear, “I can smell how stressed you are baby. Let me be here for you.”

I breath him in, not having the strength to push away. I’m going to have to start boxing or some shit, because how do I say no to Ian being sweet to me? I’ll just have to hit more assholes.

It is only about one minute before Kev pulls up to the front of school. I breath in Ian’s scent one more time and then push him away. I look at Mandy, and fuck it I give her a fast side squeeze. “You can do this.” She says quietly, as I head down the stairs toward the car. I turn back before I get in the car and flip them both off. I am not that soft.

I haven’t really been in the car with just Kev. Vee is always with us, taking shotgun. But I don’t let myself even consider taking the back seat. I have to stay on top of it around Kev, I can’t look intimidated enough to sit away from him.

I still don’t know what to think of him beating up Jackson’s dad. Part of me feels so good about it, like maybe Kev is safe to be around. But the larger part of me is just confused. I don’t know if its just because he is so big, because Ian is pretty big now and I fucking love it. Maybe it just that… he is big, his scent is the strongest one I have ever smelled, and he is older. I don’t want to admit that it’s the older Alphas that really get to me, because I am not a bitch and that would be a bitch thing to say. I just need to let it go, I cant make myself be comfortable around him. I just need to try avoid him a little more…

“You don’t have to be nervous, Mickey. I wont let anything happen to you. I promise.” He says this out of nowhere as he is driving.

“I am not nervous.” I say, trying to keep my voice strong but flat.

He laughs a little, but there is no feeling of humor. “Mickey, you’re scent is pretty strong. It’s easy to tell how nervous you are.”

I look out the passenger window. I am fucking nervous for the interview, but also just being in the car like this. But fuck ever if I admit that to Kev.

“Whatever, I will be fine.”

I really have to work on controlling my scent.

The interview room is small, it has a small couch against the wall and some chairs and a small table on the other wall. There is a camera set up in corner that I am trying not to look at or think about. On the opposite wall to the door is a window, the blinds are down so you can’t see outside. I am standing by the window trying to look unbothered. It’s just me and Kev in the room right now. It’s been five minutes and I wish Markovich would just get in here so I can get this shit done.

I really don’t want to do this. I am trying so hard to play it cool but I really just want to hide in the fucking corner. Kev is sitting on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. I think he is counting tiles.

Part of me is worried he is irritated, having to take time away from the bar for this. Vee has lost plenty of work time dealing with my shit too. I makes me feel guilty, and while I want to avoid talking to Kev, I also am having a hard and hard time ignoring the guilt. Finally, with all the stress of the interview, and the court case against my dad, and all the other shit I have on my shoulders I break.

“Sorry you had to come in for this.” I say it like I don’t really care, hoping he doesn’t realize how much I do.

“Don’t be sorry, and its no problem. I wouldn’t let them do this if I wasn’t here.”

I am little confused by that, and I am about to ask him what the fuck, but the pig and his entourage finally walk in the door.

I thought I felt like shit before, but now its even worse. This is really about to happen. God I wish Ian was here, or Mandy or my brothers, even fucking Vee.

I take a breath and try and reign in my panic, BECAUSE I AM FINE.

“Mickey, thank you for coming down.” Markovich says setting a shit ton of papers down on the desk. What does he need all of that for, how long is this going to last?

He turns to Kev, “And thanks Kev, I know it can’t be easy getting time to come in.”

Kev’s face looks a little agitated, I am not sure he like Markovich very much. That makes me feel a little better. “Mickey needed me, of course I am here.”

“Well, you both know Mr. Knowles, Mickey’s social worker. He will be here as another representative for Mickey. If any updates need to be made to Mickey’s file after the interview, he will follow up with you and Vee tomorrow, if that works Kev.” He points over to the man who came by with Markovich the other day. I never caught his name.

Markovich goes around pointing out the other three people with him. “This is detective Barnes and Sargent Micheals, they are here as representatives of the police force. They are here to monitor the interview and make sure no inappropriate commands are given, as well as help aid in in the investigation against Terry. And this, is Dr. Monroe, she is here to monitor Mickey’s well being during the command process.”

I know my face is scrunching up, my eyebrows rising. This is so many fucking people. All of them are going to be in here, listening to this shit?

“Mickey,” Kev says turning to me,”You don’t have to do this.”

Markovich starts to make a noise, ready to push but Kev interrupts him. “Don’t start Tony. This is his life, if he wants to walk away we walk away.”

Its nice to hear that. Kev sounds so sure about it, for a second I think maybe I should. It would be so much easier to just leave and forget this. But, then there is Terry. I will never not be afraid of that bastard getting off and getting me back. It isn’t the craziest thought. DCSF has done crazier things…

“I’ll fucking do it…”

I go and sit on the couch, keep my eyes on the floor. The social worker is a beta, and the Dr. chick is a beta too, but everyone else is an Alpha. Tall Alpha’s with strong scents, all of them older… I can’t even breath too deep without their smells being overwhelming. Though, even I can tell my own scent is going crazy.

Even Markovich noticed it, making a slight face of surprise, as he walked in the door.

I hate this so fucking much. Why does this shit have to happen to me?

“Do all of these fuckers have to be here? Are you really recording this shit?”

“Yes, Mickey. It’s part of the investigation and regulations of the polic…”

I interrupt him, “Whatever, can we just fucking do this?”

“Mickey,” the Dr says, “We need to be sure you are emotionally stable en…”

“Just start it. I want this shit over with.”

Emotionally stable, what kind of doctor is she? Who is going to be emotionally stable as they get commanded to tell a room full of people the worst things that have ever been done to them. That’s bullshit.

“Do you have any of those blankets? Those ones with the baby scent? He needs one of those.” Kev says, totally throwing them off.

I turn red, I know I do, but I keep looking toward the floor and don’t say shit. Because that would make this a tiny bit better.

“Of course”, the social worker guy says, going over to his giant bag he brought in with him. A minute later the guy hands the blanket to Kev who gives it to me.

“We also have this.” The guy pulls out a stuffed teddy bear. Part of my annoying brain sees it and thinks “soft”. But the better part of my brain wins out.

“Fuck you.” Is my response as I wrap the fucking blanket around myself.

The guy puts the bear away and everyone finds a chair to sit in. Kev and I on the couch and everyone else is on the other side of the room. Starring at me I’m sure.

“Mickey,” Markovich starts,” I will be conducting a Compassionate Command on you today to gather evidence against your Alpha Father Terry Milkovich. Do you and Mr Ball give your consent to move forward with this interview under these conditions.”

“Ya, whatever just do it already.” Is my answer, and Kev response with, “As long as Mickey wants too.”

Markovich doesn’t waste any time “Mickey look at me.” He commands and my eyes snap to his. I can tell it throws him off how fast I obey. I don’t know if he knows about the training, about the stupid Omega gland that Terry destroyed. If he doesn’t, I guess he will soon enough.

“Mickey I command you to answer all questions honestly and with hesitation.”

My throat and chest pulse in my body for a moment, taking in the order. It’s new, I have never had a command to speak before… My eyes stay on Markovich, God I hate this.

“If at any point we believe this command is being stopped by you Mickey, we will be forced to begin it again with a stricter and stronger command. Do you understand Mickey?”

“Yes.” And my voice sounds foreign to my ears. I had no will to make it, it just came from my body. My eyes stay on him. Why did he have to say to keep looking at him.

“First we will test the command. Mickey, please state you full name and the charges you believe are being brought up against your Alpha father Terry Milkovich.”

“Mickhalio Aleksandr Milkovich,” My full name flows from me, even accented just how my mother use to say it, like water the rest of the answer comes out, as commanded without hesitation, though without the accent. “You are charging my father with the rape and mallestation, and the intent to sell me.” My insides shiver from saying it so bluntly. My biggest, darkest secret just declared to all of these fucking strangers.

“Are we correct in believing this are rightful charges?” He sounds like he is reading off of a paper. He must have memorized this shit before he came in.

My stomach rolls as I answer “Yes.” My eyes stay on him. Why did he give that command!

My hands start to shake, I hate this feeling, being commanded. It so fucking familiar to me even if the command itself is new. And every part of me hates it, so fucking scared because nothing good ever follows a command. I put my hands under my legs, trying to hide them from the fuck ton of people in the room.

“Mickey, are you okay?” Kev asks next to me.

“No.”

This answer gets the attention of Kev and the social worker and doctor.

“Do you want to stop?” Kev asks.

I keep starring at Markovich. “Of course I do, but I can’t. Terry will kill me if he gets off now. Or sell me to a fucking whore house for two dollars.”

“I think we need to pause.” The doctor in the corner says.

“Just keep going, I just want this done.”

“Mickey,” she continues,”your scent is very distressed. I think taking a moment to calm would be…”

“Keep going Markovich.” I interrupt.

Then Kev leans toward me, making me flinch and he backs away again. Clearing his voice he asks “Mickey, what can we do to make you more comfortable?” He says it like before, in the car. He can smell it on.

“Let me look away.” I say it so quickly, when normally I would try and pretend it didn’t bother me. But now the words came so fast I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to.

My eyes haven’t left Markovich. They can’t. So I see the surprise written clearly on his face.

“You haven’t broken that command yet?” He asks.

“No, I can’t.”

He looks not just surprised but confused now.

“Didn’t you read his exam report from his doctor?” Kev asks sounding pissed.

He shakes his head no. “We haven’t gotten it yet, there was a delay in pick up.”

Kev curses under his breath. Then in a harsh tone he tells Markovich. “Release the command to look at you.”

When Markovich says the words that break the tether pulling my eyes to his, I feel so relieved, my eyes going straight to the floor.

“You need to read the fucking exam report.” Kev continues. “Mickey can’t break commands. That sick fuck broke his Omega gland.”

“What?” Someone asks, I think its one of the detectives.

“I am not sure we should continue with this.” I hear the doctor say.

“Stop. I will be fucking fine.” I force my head and eyes up. “Just ask you questions.”

“Mickey, we cannot put you under so much stress..” the doctor tries to reason with me.

“Don’t. I have been through a hell of a lot worse. Terry can’t fucking get out of this.” I look at Markovich. “Ask your fucking questions.”

He shakes his head like he is agreeing with me. “When were you first sexually abused by your father?”

“When I was twelve. A few days after I presented.”

“This will be hard, Mickey. But we need details for the case. How did it happen?”

It’s almost nice that my brain doesn’t even have the option to fight the words that come out of my mouth.

“He had just gotten out jail. He threw a party, cause that’s what happens anytime a Milkovich gets out of jail or juvie. The house was filled with people. One of my brothers ended up taking my room to hook up with some bitch. Mandy went to her room really early, she locked her door and I couldn’t get in. So I ended up in the living room. It was hot as fuck, and I was the only person out there, so I slept in my boxers. It was so hot I couldn’t really sleep. I think I must have been laying there a few hours when I heard someone stumbling around. I didn’t really think about it, until suddenly, Terry had his nose in my fucking hair. I tried to get up, but he grabbed my neck, he gripped my glands and I couldn’t move. I knew I should but body wouldn’t do it. He started smelling neck, he started touching me. I started yelling at him, telling him to stop and let go. What was doing? I started begging him to stop, but he started laughing and his hands, they moved lower. I started getting louder, and finally was able to move again so I started to try and get away, I could tell I was passing him off but I didn’t care. Then he leaned down and growled in my ear, he used his first commands on me. He told me to shut up and stop moving. That was when I knew, I couldn’t stop him. I knew he was going to hurt me. He started touching me again, I heard him moving, and I could smell him, he was getting himself off behind me. After a minute, he commanded me again, and I tried so hard not to listen, but every time I started tried he would growl and give the command again. When he told me to lift my ass and spread my legs, I was so scared and I felt so sick. I did not want it, but I couldn’t stop it. He was so strong, and so forceful. I couldn’t even scream when I went inside. It hurt so fucking bad, but I couldn’t scream. I just started crying. And he liked that too. He started going fast and harder, and when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I felt something starting to hurt even more. He was getting bigger and bigger. It wasn’t until he came inside of me and collapsed on top me that I realized it was knot. I was stuck to that bastard for what felt like hours. He had passed out on top of me, trapping me underneath him. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t call for help. I knew morning was coming because the light along the floor started to grow. Then I saw my brother Jamie walking by with the girl he had hooked up. I could see his jeans and shoes and his hand. I heard him and that bitch laughing, talking about Terry looking like a dumbass. He didn’t see me until I grabbed his arm and he walked by. I scared the shit out of him, but when he saw it was me he told the girl to leave, and he pulled me out from underneath Terry. I could talk then, but I didn’t want to, all I could really do was cry. He had pulled me out from under Terry, I was naked and sticky with the way Terry had used me, blood was all over thighs and legs. My neck was bruised, my back, my legs. Jamie pulled me out of the living room, he got me some clothes and then he took me to the Omega Clinic. That was the first time I ever went there.”

My hand went up to brush the tears from eyes. That first time physically and emotionally hurt so fucking bad. I never talked about it, I tried to never think about. Talking about it brought back so much of that pain, it made my heart hurt.

I heard a sniff and looked up to see Kev wiping a tear from his face. He looked so mad and so upset at the same time. “I am so sorry Mickey.” He said to me quietly.

I wish that had been the end but it wasn’t. It went on and on. The more I said the more the detectives in the back would scribble and whisper to each other. They didn’t look excited but they didn’t look too upset either.

Milkovich on the other hand did look upset. I didn’t look at his face a lot. But, when I did he looked like he would fucking vomit. I didn’t feel so bad about that. After all the shit he had me say.

The doctor and social worker just sniffed and cried in the corner, being useless bitches. Like this shit happened to them or something.
I told them about all the times Terry attacked me in the shower. The few times he made me do oral. The times he got me at night and the times he got me during the day. I told them about the ruts. I told them about how I started living on the streets when I could, just to get away. I told them how my brothers got me suppressants, and how I got filthy as fuck on purpose, to keep him away.

When Markovich asked me about having to hide my Omega tendencies I was confused but I told him that shit too. How everyday I had to push myself to not act or look like an Omega. They had me explain what Terry would do if I had been open about being an Omega. I had laughed at that, bitter thick in my voice as I made it clear again, that as an Omega Milkovich I had no future. Dead or sold were my only options. “The minute I presented I knew what the fuck would happen to me if he ever found out. Terry always said an Omega only belongs in two places. In the kitchen, or on their knees.”

At that Kev had growled under his breath, “Fucker.” He kept doing that, but it didn’t bother me too much.

For the majority of the interview I felt like throwing up. Everything about it was horrible. When it finally ended, I couldn’t focus on anything.

As we were getting ready to leave, the camera was finally shut off, the omega doctor came over to talk to Kev. Recommending this counseling and that, wanting to get permission to speak with the doctor who examined me. I could listen to hear, I just let Kev talk.

It wasn’t until she said, “Mickey would do best if he got home and nested, maybe even through tomorrow. Maybe get a hot bath or shower in. Mickey, would you like that?”

I cursed in my mind because fuck Markovich hadn’t released his command. I couldn’t stop my self from saying the truth. “No, I don’t like showering or bathing in that house?”

Kev looked at me, eyebrows brought together, looking so confused. “Why not, Mick?”

“Because there is no lock on the door. You can come in, anyone can. You have. Showers, bathroom, bedrooms, they’re dangerous places. I have to be careful.”

“You’re scared of me hurting you in the shower, like Terry did?”

His face is so hurt, so sad when he says it. Like a puppy you just kicked.

“You’re just so big, I could never stop you.”

“That’s why you don’t shower, that’s why you don’t sleep well?”

“Yes.”

He shakes his head, looking away and then back at me again. “Mickey… do you want to live with me and Vee?”

“I guess, its okay, and I don’t have anywhere else to really go…”

I know the doctor is listening and fuck the social worker too. “I don’t want to live anywhere else, I don’t want to leave my life. I just have a hard time because you’re so tall and your scent is strong, and your older…”

The doctor pitches in, “I really wouldn’t recommend that Mickey be moved at this time. The therapies I just mentioned could be a big help…”

Kev shakes his head. “Okay, okay. I will find away to take care of this.”

When we get back to the car, Markovich finally releasing my command, Kev doesn’t say anything when I go straight to the back seat. He lets me sit in silence. I know all of the shit I said messed with him. Like usual I am not sure what to expect out of him.

When we get back to the house its late. Vee is already back from the Gallagher’s, I wont even get a chance to see Ian tonight. As I walk into the house I expect Kev to head to the kitchen, because he is a giant and always hungry. But instead he goes straight to Vee, who is caught off guard my his face. His red rimmed eyes and angry jaw. He leans down and kisses her cheek. “I will be right back.” And then he is gone.

I want to shower so bad, and with Kev gone I think about it, but decide I am not up for the stress of it. I go upstairs and change into the omega pajamas Vee just bought me. I come back down to grab something to eat before I go to bed, and I am immediately thrown off course.

There in on the kitchen table are five different bedroom door locks, still in their packages. Kev leaning over them reading the back of the packages.

He looks up when he sees me. “It’s late, do you want these on tomorrow morning, or tonight?”

“What?”

“My son is not going to be so scared in his own home that he cant sleep or bathe. This is an easy solution. So tonight or tomorrow morning?”

Vee is standing behind him, leaning over to read the back of the lock like Kev just was. They don’t seem made, Kev doesn’t seem mad, I might as well just say it I guess…

“Tonight, please.”

He nods his head, grabs one of the locks and his screw driver, and goes straight to work.

Chapter Text

Even with the locks, its was still hard to sleep that night. Every time I started to sleep a dream of that bastard would wake me up. It was like I was reliving all the shit I had to go over in that room. It made my skin crawl with memory of him, and what he had done. Eventually I gave up and went to the shower, not caring if it woke Vee or Kev. I don’t know how long I spent in there, but the door lock made me feel so much safer.

Once the water was so cold I couldn’t stand under the stream any longer, I dried off, dressed and went down stairs. I turned on the TV, not caring or really watching what played. When I heard someone coming down the stairs I started to worry. I really couldn’t handle Vee yelling at me right now, or Kev just being too close…

When I saw it was Vee I started to get up, not wanting any kind of fight to even start, but she caught me off guard as she quickly joined me on the couch, sitting on the other side, close but not too close.

“What are we watching?”

I shrugged in response. She took the remote and turned on some documentary. I don’t know how, but the next thing I knew I was opening my eyes, Vee tapping my shoulder.

“Mickey, sweet heart, I have to go to work. Do you want to go back to your nest?”

I sat up the rest of the way. Somehow I had fallen asleep last night, eventfully ending up with my head on Vee’s pillowed lap. I take in what she said, noticing how bright the room was.

I looked at Vee, not knowing what she wanted from me and feeling to drained to try and argue over school or responsibilities. She surprised me again by saying “You’re staying home today. You need to nest. Kev will make sure you have breakfast and lunch. I will bring you dinner. And Ian can come over when Fiona says he can, Okay?”

That shit sounds pretty good to me, so I shake my head.

When she tells me to get up to my nest I do. I lay there, taking in my brothers and Mandy’s scents from there clothes. Taking in Ian’s scent form all of his items I have collect just over the past couple of days. Then finally Vee’s scent from the blanket I had wrapped around me that night. All of them mixing together and helping me feel more safe and secure. I sleep the rest of the day, and most of the next. By the time Friday afternoon rolls around I feel ready to leave my nest and forget that shit ever happened.

I spend the next week going to school. Getting caught up on work with Mr Cox. I even start gym class, though I still don’t dress down. When I talk to Vee about the changing room and just not liking the openness of the whole thing, she doesn’t just throw the comment aside.

“Let me talk to the counselor, and your social worker. Maybe there is an alternative…” I am honestly so surprised I don’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting her to tell me to get over it. That’s what I felt, deep down, I should be doing. But, hell I would take an alternative.

Everything at school seems to be going ok too. No annoying Alphas trying to prove themselves. I mean there are annoying Alpha’s saying stupid shit and stuff, but nothing I can’t take.

Then it happens.

About two weeks after I am back at school full time I sneak Red into a supply closet. It’s been like five fucking days and I missed him, so whatever. We weren’t even doing much, just making out, but of course we actually got busted. The amount of times we have fucked around under the bleachers, or on the ball field, we have never been caught. But now the whole school, well it feels fucking like it, saw both of us being dragged out of the goddam closet. I blame my scent, which apparently goes crazy the minute firecrotch fucking looks at me.

Not only was it embarrassing but also apparently my scent made quite the impression on the Alpha student body, because now I have these fuckers following me around all damn day. Sniffing me out, some making rude comments, others asking to carry my fucking backpack. What the hell even is that! None of them are too fucking bad, do I want that attention, hell no, can I fucking deal with it, yes. If only fucking Ian could realize that.

“I swear Ian if you break one more fucking nose I will break yours!” I yell at Ian as we sit on his couch at the Gallagher house. He has been a warpath, starting fights with anyone who looks at me for too long, and it has been enough. One more fight and they will suspend him! “How will that look to Westpoint ya fuckhead?” I yell at him.

“I know Mick. God, I am sorry. I just get so upset… I can’t help it.”

“Well you better start.”

Then Fiona gets home. She looks straight at Ian. “Guess who called me again today?” She asks him. Ian makes a guilty face and Fiona just looks even more pissed. “This shit better stop Ian!”

“I know, I swear Fi, it wont happen again.”

“It better not.” She says, so severely that I kind of want to hightail it back to the Ball’s house.

But then Lip joins in,”I don’t know what you expect him to do? This is normal Alpha behavior.”

“Fucking can it Lip.” I say right as Fiona makes some kind of squeaking sound. “EXUSE ME?”

“I mean I am just following my instincts…” Red says, and I can’t fucking believe it.

“Seriously, Ian. I can take care of myself. You know I can. I can break a fuckers nose as easy as you can. I don’t mind you stepping in if its like a huge fucker, or if someone takes it too far, but don’t treat me like a fucking delicate flower. I am not a delicate fucking flower. You got that?”

“I just think this might be a bigger ask than you realize.” He turns to Lip, looking for support. Like fuck that asswipe is getting any more involved that he just did.

“Ian, that is bullshit and you know it. I am not going to let you treat me like I can’t defend myself. I can, I will and I fucking have.” His face is serious, and I take a moment to look in to his eyes, driving my point home. “I mean it Ian, I don’t like you fighting over small shit, ok.”

I can tell it’s a struggle, and I know we aren’t really done with this shit, but he still shakes his head. God he can be such a stubborn ass sometimes. I mean a smart, amazing, kind and handsome stubborn ass, but he definitely doesn’t need to hear that especially right now.

Then Jimmy/Steve walks through the front door. I seriously need to learn which one his real name is. He immediately catches on, probably from Fiona’s pissed off scent, that something is going down.

“What’s going on in here?” He asks, laughing awkwardly.

“I am just busy telling Ian to stop thinking with his knot, and to stop breaking the nose of everyone who looks at Mickey for too long.”

“Oooh, well good luck with that.” He laughs sarcastically.

Fiona turns to him.”Not you too!”

“I mean come on. He is a young Alpha. And, well, its not like Mickey has a light scent.”

My face goes red immediately. Having my scent acknowledged at all is embarrassing, saying it like that jackass makes me want to die right here, right now.

“Exactly!” Ian says, fucking loudly agreeing!

My face goes even more red. I am so embarrassed and so pissed at Ian! I know his stupid ass is about to say more then he looks to me and sees my face. His eyes go wide taking in my expression.

“I mean, its not..I.. well I know that I… I know I shouldn’t be so…” he stutters out, panicking because he knows this has gone to fucking far.

I take a deep breath. I know Lip or Fiona or fucking Jimmy/Steve will jump in at any second. But, I am done with this conversation.

I look over at Jimmy/Steve, face even, when I loudly proclaim “He slept with your Dad.” And I let the bomb fall.

That douches face is horrified and he squawks “What”, at the same time Fiona just yells “WHAT THE FUCK IAN?!” And then Lip in the corner, who has an absolutely disgusted face. He might actually throw up. I LOVE IT.

I look back to Ian and while the room is still irrupting in response to the news I say quietly, “You deserved this.”

He just shakes his head in agreement. “Ya, I know…”

“I’ll see you later Jackass.”

I walk out the back door to him trying to explain himself, and I just try not to laugh too loud.

To give Red credit, he does do better. He hasn’t been busted breaking any noses, and I got to punch Jackson O’Connell right in the fucking face when he was an ass to me. It was nice. And shit finally started calming down. I still catch Ian glaring and growling, but I don’t mind that too much. As long as he doesn’t start a fight, I am good.

Things at the house were going ok. With the locks on the doors I was starting to sleep better at night. And, with the door locked on the shower I was able to relax. Being fucking clean feels really fucking good. Kev hasn’t even tried to come in at all. In fact when I get in the shower, he goes downstairs. And if he comes to my room he knocks every time. He doesn’t even try the handle unless I tell him he can come in. He also is like really fucking courteous about like standing to close to me or shit. I definitely didn’t see that shit coming, but its pretty nice. Things are actually going, like okay.

So of course I should have knows something would come up.

“I am not fucking doing that.” I tell Vee, as strongly as I can.

“Mickey, the doctor said it would help.”

“I don’t care, I am not doing that.”

Vee takes a deep breath. Her head rises as she looks up at the ceiling. “Mickey, you have so much stacked against you with your health. You don’t even know how bad your heats will be, and trust me it is going to be hard. If this is something that could help even a little, I think we should try it.”

“I don’t care. I am not fucking doing that.”

“Kev,” she pleads “Please help me out here.”

I am so relieved when he says “I am not making him do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

Vee grunts in response, obviously irritated. “Mickey, the therapist and doctor agreed, if you have thirty minutes of secure bonding time with your parental Alpha, it could help your hormone levels. I don’t know why you would fight this. All you have to do is be fucking near him for half an hour, let him fucking brush your hair. It isn’t even that weird, normal Alpha parents do that with their Omega kids all the time!”

They do?, I think to myself. I look away from Vee, I don’t know how normal families act, so fuck ya I hate when it is pointed out.

I hear Kev clear his throat behind me and I turn to him, eyes down. “Mickey, like I said I wont do anything you don’t want to do. But, I want you to know, if we did do this, it would just be us hanging, watching a show or some shit like that. Vee can be in the room. If thirty minutes is too long at first we can build up to it. Vee and I want you to be happy and healthy. That’s the only reason we want to do this. And, I wont be mad if you decide you really don’t want to do it. It’s your choice.”

Well, that sounded pretty nice to hear. Almost too fucking nice. Sometimes I wonder if he is faking being so easy going. Like he is waiting to show me who he really is…

“Did they write that down and tell you to say it?”

Kev just shakes his head. “No, Mickey.” He moves form the counter he was standing by to the table, taking a seat. He looks at me as I stand a few feet away from him. He is so tall that we are probably more at eye level like this. “Mickey,” he starts “I was raised in foster care…”

He pauses, taking a breath and obviously composing himself. I can’t say I am not surprised. It isn’t fair, but I never really even thought about how Kev or Vee grew up.

“I was put in when I was four. I don’t remember my family. I grew up going from new home to new home to new home. Some were ok, and some were shit. I learned real quick I had to take of myself cause no one else would. My last home, when I was 17, was with an old man named Jack. He was the first person in my entire childhood who gave a shit about me. He cared about school, he cared if I ate enough, he cared if I had the right friends. He cared about me, and it was the best fucking feeling I ever had.”

“You know that Vee and I got our foster license hoping to bring in some extra cash. But, Mickey, that wasn’t the only reason. I know how good it feels to have someone finally give a shit about you. That’s what I wanted to do. I just wanted to find a good kid I could care for. I have known you since you were fucking tiny. I saw you around town doing all of Terry’s fucking tasks. I saw you trying so hard to make him proud. I saw how much he treated you like shit. Anyone who lives this side of Carney Street could see it Mickey. When I found out that you were our foster kid, I knew that I could give to you what Jack gave to me. I could take you in, I could care. And, I do Mickey, I care so much. I just want you to be happy, I want you to be healthy.”

“If sitting next to me helps your body heal from what that fucker did to you, then I am all for it. But only if you are.”

I don’t even know how to respond to that shit. I mean it was kind of a lot. I can’t look at either of them. I start bitting my thumb nail, looking off to the wall opposite Vee and Kev.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…”Vee, could be there. The whole fucking time!”

“Yes!” Vee says. She has gone to Kev, standing behind him, touching his shoulders. I can tell how much their strength comes from each others, how it comes from their connection. I never saw shit like that before, not with Terry and my mom, or anyone else. So much about these two feels strong and secure, I just wish I could trust it…

“Fine.” I agree “But no longer than 30 minutes.”

So that’s how I begin my Parental Alpha Therapy. It’s stupid, but its not that bad. I just sit at his feet for half an hour a day. I let him pet my head a little. Weird but not the absolute worst , I guess.

It does take awhile to build up to half an hour. At first I fucking hated it. And the first time he touched my hair I… well my eyes got misty but I wasn’t crying, and maybe I went straight to my nest, but I was just tired. A few days later it’s easier though. My scent hasnt changed and the command thing hasnt changed, but it is easier to look Kev in the eye, and other Alpha fuckers, and honestly that’s something. I hope it really does help with the Heat. But, I am just not going to think of that.

It isn’t too bad, but the night we are at the Gallagher’s and he calls me over to sit at his feet during a show, I consider ending it all. I definitely didn’t tell Red about this.

“Mickey,” he Kev says it quietly, trying not to get too much attention. “Come on. It isn’t a big deal. I have to get to work after this, it’s the only time that will work. We haven’t missed a day. It isn’t a big deal.”
I look around and no one is paying attention, besides Ian who is looking at me with a confused face. I can’t tell him now. And, it isn’t that I dont want to make Kev mad, it’s more that I don’t want to disappoint him. Sense we started this shit I suddenly look for ways to please him, just like a little. Like cleaning or helping with dinner. I have been doing it for Ian a little too. Bringing him his food more and shit. I would say its horse shit but god damn it feels so nice.

So, whatever. I squeeze Ians hand and then move from our spot on the couch to the floor by Kev’s chair. I sit down and let him pet my hair a little, and I definitely don’t look at Lip or Fiona or her stupid boyfriend or any of that shit.

When Kev leaves for the bar I go back to Ian. I know he is looking at me, and I just side eye him eyebrows raising.

I lean back and whisper “My doctors said I need to do it, to help my hormones or some shit.”

Ian just keeps looking, not harshly, but I can feel my face getting red. Finally he smiles, leaning in, and says “I am glad you can do something to help.” Then he kisses my cheek, and it feels too good to be annoyed with him about it.

Chapter Text

“Mickey, Ian, stop staring at each other and get back to work.”

I cringe in the barstool, flipping off Vee who is on the other side of the bar. Red of course is just smiling like an idiot. Stupid fucking smile, its so bright.

“We aren’t starring.” I yell back looking back at my math book. We are studding at Alibi this afternoon. I don’t mind because it means I get as many cokes and chips as I want. It would be better if Kev would let us sneak a beer, but he has been stupid about shit like that lately. ‘No drinking until you’re 21’ blaaa.

My idiot brothers and Mandy are meeting us at 6 for a quick dinner. Kev and Vee thought it would be a cool Friday thing to do. We can’t to do it all the time, but its been nice to see those fuckers more. Tonight Aunt Randie is joining us. Mandy must have told her about me being an Omega. She didn’t tell me she did, but she told me not to worry about it. I guess I trust her, and its nice to see Randie, it just feels weird still.

Ian reaches over, under the bar, and grabs my hand. I look over and he smiles at me.

“It will be okay Mick. I promise.” He looks so sincere and shit. It’s hard not to trust him.

By the time six rolls around Mandy and Randie shows up first. Randie makes me hug her, but I don’t actually mind. She takes in my scent, and while it makes me feel weird its also nice to just feel like myself.

“You smell so much like your mom.” She whispers. Pulling away from me she looks over at Ian.

“This must be your Alpha?”

Red leans over and shakes Randie’s hand. “Hello, my name is…”

“I know who you are Gallagher.” She interrupts as she takes his hand. Then she pulls his hand bringing him closer. “You make his scent that strong, you better fucking take care of if him. If you don’t, every Milkovich in South Side will be paying you a visit.”

Ian shakes his head as I turn beet red. I don’t want to tell her its not him who did that… I don’t want to make Ian uncomfortable.

But Ian responds back quickly “I will always be there take of him ma’am.” And I kind of hate him for making me wish it was true.

Luckily my brothers chose that moment to come into the bar. Loud as hell per usual.

My brothers, Red, Mandy and Randie, Kev and Vee and me all squish together at a back table, burgers, soda and fries all around the table. We all get along surprisingly well. It feels so fucking normal it doesn’t feel real. But it also makes my stupid Omega heart so happy.

About half an hour later, the door opens and the person walking through catches me attention. It’s fucking Markovich. My skin immediately crawls and my stomach twists. I haven’t seen him sense the interview. I look back to the table, taking Ian’s hand under the table.

I feel him looking at me but I don’t look back to him. I don’t want to make eye contact right now. I see him lean over me, getting Kev’s attention. He tips his head toward the bar. Kev leaves the table without saying a word.

I know its gotten everyone’s attention. But, I still don’t look over.

“You gotta go Tony.” We all hear Kev tell Markovich.

“Seriously man, come on I just one drink.”

“I mean it.”

“I’ll be fast.”

“You make him uncomfortable. I have the right to refuse service. Don’t be a dick Tony.”

“Man, this shit is driving me nuts. I just want a drink.”

“You smell like you’ve already had a few, Tony.”

“Fuck you.”

“Get out before I embarrass you.”

“Fuck fine.” I can hear him start to move, then pause, “Look at that shit,” my eyes sneak over to see Markovich looking by our table, looking over at me. “This fucking shit, trying get that disgusting fuck Milkovich locked up for good, when these are the fuckers who should have taken care of it.”

“GET OUT.” Kev says pushing Markovich’s shoulder and making him fall forward. He doesn’t seem to give a shit though.

“All the fucked up shit Milkovichs do in this towns, and you can’t take care of family business yourselves. You should be ashamed of yourself, letting that asshole get away with this shit! A fucking ped…”

Kev pushes him out the door before he can even finish. My face is white, I’m not even embarrassed by what he said, I’m just hoping that my aunt doesn’t catch on, and that the other five fucking people not related to me in this shitstain of a bar also don’t realize what he was saying.

I hear Randie take deep breath, “You fuck heads will talk to me when we are done here.” She says glaring at my brothers who all shake their heads. I think I might crawl under the table and die right now. Then my Aunt makes a quick change in tone and conversation. “Mickey, how is school going?”

The rest of dinner was pretty fucking normal. But, when we had all finished and I was getting in the car with Vee and Ian to head home for the night, I saw Aunt Randie in the back of the parking lot talking with my brothers and Mandy. Her face was hard, she had a look in her eye that only a pissed off Milkovich could get. And, I just hoped I didn’t have anymore shit headed my way.

Luckily the next day and the few after were actually really fucking good.

Red did great at this ROTC practice. I watched from the bleachers with Mandy. Now that my scent was fully out, it was pretty fucking obvious I wasn’t being a protective brother to Mandy at these fucking practices, sitting and watching all the damn time. But, I didn’t care. I mean Ian and I did get caught making out, we smelled like each other all the time, and any minute out of class we spent together. Plus Ian’s pension for beating up anyone who looks at me, but he is trying with that, so I’ll give him credit.

For the most part I really enjoy seeing Red during practice. I can’t go all the time, but whenever I can go I do. Back, just a few weeks ago really, when I was pretending to be an Alpha, the stupid fucking coach or whatever he is, would try and get me to enroll. I usually glared at him and followed Mandy up the bleacher stairs. Now that he knows the real reason I am there he has started telling me all about the Omega Partner ROTC Program. First of all, that name is shit, second its stupid as shit. A group to help support future spouses of military personel, so ‘they know what to expect while living on base, and moving with their spouse and support groups to help with stress and bla bla fucking bla. Thank god when he brought it up the first time he was quiet and away from everyone in gym. I turned as red as a fucking tomato, as red as Red’s hair. My eyes went wide, and I didn’t even know what to say. So I just walked away from him and hoped he got the hint not to say that shit again.

But he did, this time in front of Ian. My eyes had jumped back and forth between this asshole and Ian. Wishing the world would open up underneath me and swallow me whole. Instead of that happening, Ian just smiled and said how he thought that was great idea. Taking the FUCKING BROCHURE this douche brought with him and handing it to me.

“Let’s talk about this later babe.” He said, not quietly, and leaned over kissing my cheek. He does that all the time now. I love it sometimes but right now I don’t. Ok I do, but its still a little annoying.

I stayed and watched because, well because I did, it definitely wasn’t because I didn’t want to disappoint Red. The whole time I tried to get worked up over Red taking that paper and making his coach think we would ever last that long. I mean we joked about it at home, but that was home and it was different. In front of people like his peers and coach was totally different. But as much as I tried to be pissed, I really just felt sad. Sad, because of course I fucking wanted that, and I would never have it.

When Red and I were walking home that evening, him trying to hold my hand, and talk about school and his work schedule, I just ignored him. I was too caught up in the thought of how someday I would lose him. Someday holding his hand would just be a memory of someone I couldn’t hold anymore. It made me so sick to my stomach I took the hand he had been holding and pulled it away, shoving it into my pocket, away from his reach.

Ian stopped, I took a few more steps and paused, not even looking back. “Mickey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I said and began walking again.

“Don’t do that, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” I said again as we headed around the corner, both of our homes in sight.

“Mickey, that’s bullshit. I know you’re mad. Just talk to me. I can’t fix it, if you don’t talk to me.”

That just made me walk faster, because I know Ian, and he would try and make it better. But I just couldn’t let my heart do this right now. So I walked faster, of course Mr IJogEveryGodDamnDay was right behind me, but I just hoped I could get up the front stairs and through the door before he could stop me. So when he called my name once and then twice more I just ignored him and went for the door. I definitely wasn’t breathing weird and my eye’s definitely didn’t feel tingly or weird or shit.

When I got to the door and tried to open it, Ian reached out his hand from behind me and grabbed the door knob, closing it again and blocking me. I turned to push him away but was trapped by his gaze. It was so overwhelming, I don’t know if a commanding gaze is really a thing, but on Ian it is. It is definitely a thing.

I just froze, too caught up in his eyes to even think of looking away. I was contemplating falling on my knees, to show my full submission. But, fuck I have never done that and I am not starting now. So I just leaned against the door for support. Of course he leaned closer to me.

“Tell me.” Was all he said. I know it was a command, because it always feels different than just choosing to do something, but didn’t feel anything like the command Markovich gave me at the interview, nothing like any command that bartered ever gave me. When Ian’s command came, it was like giving him something. Like holding something heavy and handing it over to a friend to have them help you.

My voice sounded soft and quiet, nothing like my usual bravado. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

“Who said I was going to leave you?” His face and voice full of confusion.

I felt a tear start to run down my face and I cursed to myself. But I still had to say it, the command still there.

“Someday you will. Someday you will realize that I am shit, and how amazing you are, and you’ll leave. And you’ll do so great in life, and I want you to. I want you to be happy. But, I also don’t want to lose you. I know its selfish as fuck, but you’re the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. And someday I know you‘ll just bounce. And I wont ever get to have you again and it fucking hurts when ever I think about it.”

I reached my hand up, wiping the wetness from my face. I couldn’t let him see me crying like a little bitch. He would just leave me even faster. Fuck just this rant will probably be enough to end us right here and now.

I didn’t want to look at his face. I didn’t want to see in his eyes when he realized how pathetic I was. But all he did was reach out and grab me, he hugged me so close, I heard an annoying ass sob come out of myself, that stupid hug made me feel so safe.

“Mickey Milkovich, I love you. I have loved you sense the moment you threw a can of nacho dip at my head. I have loved you sense before I knew you were an Omega, before I ever smelled you. I have loved you for so long, because I know you Mickey. I see you, I see beyond the shell you put on for every other fucking person to see. I see you, the real you and I love you. I will always love you. You are my Omega, and you always will be.”

I don’t even know if he kissed me or if I kissed him, but it was there. Sweet, and gentle, and fuck it would be gay to say promising, but that’s what it fucking was. And when it was over, we just held each other.

Finally after I don’t even care how long, with no command left for me to obey, I whispered in his ear, “I really don’t want you to leave.”

“Mickey, I wont leave. I will always be here. I swear.”

“You’ll always want to be my… to be my Alpha?”

“For fucking ever. I am biting your neck the minute you’re ready for that. I would do it now if I could. But, I can wait. As long as you need baby.”

The thing is, Ian doesn’t lie. Not about important stuff, not to me. Hearing him say this. Part of my heart hated him for letting that hope grow. And the other part of me was so far gone I didn’t care.

“Come on, lets go look at this stupid Boucher.” He said after another long moment of just holding each other and breathing each other in.

We had plenty of other things to do that day, like homework and fuck Ian had work work to go to. But, we just stayed in my room, sitting on my bed and looking at the brochure and talking. Him talking about us, and all the stuff he wanted us to do someday. And he held my fucking hand the whole time. When Vee called up to him, that he needed to get home, I started to worry. I had to ask, but it sounded so stupid, I knew it did. But… I had to ask.

“So…” I start, and Ian pauses at the door. “Does this mean… are we like… officially boyfriends or some shit?”

He gave an annoying smirk and walked back over to me, leaning down to where I was still sitting on my bed. He grabbed neck, pulling me in for a kiss. As he broke away he said, “Only because you wont let me call you my fiancé yet.”

It had been days, but I didn’t bring up this shit again. I started going to the “club” but it was only like once a month, and they met on Saturdays at a coffee shop. It was a few Omega’s who had Alphas in ROTC, but also a few Omega’s from a local military base. I didn’t say much, but they had a lot to share. And, two of them brought babies. Tiny, adorable, babies. I got to hold them both! And one of the moms even let me feed one. It was so cute my heart wanted to burst.

“Don’t worry,” she had said when her baby was fed and burped and laying back in her stroller to nap, “They allow for Heat leave, even during active duty. As long as a week and half. They are usually really good about it, as long as you heats are only once every four months.”

I looked at her then, I couldn’t help the smile growing on my face and relief washed over me. Ever sense I learned what to expect from my heat, I wondered how it could ever work with Ian deployed, if we made it that long. But, they allow this. They let it be ok. I could still get him home for that time…

I tried like hell to have a cool face and voice as I quietly replied, “Thanks.”

When I got back from that first meeting, which I didn’t tell Vee or Kev about, the three of us had gone right over to the Gallagher house for dinner. Ian was at work, but I got to sit next Kev at dinner. I served his food and he said I did a great job, thanking me, acting over the top about it. I blushed and didn’t say anything back, but I know my scent filled up the room. Stupid traitor was always ratting me out these days.

Then Liam sat in my lap. Patting my arm saying, “Happy Mickey!”

I leaned down and took in his scent. Smelling like a wonderful mix of baby and Ian-ish. And I just hugged him close and let him giggle as I gave him raspberries on his cheek.

I looked up and saw Lip staring at me.

“What?”

“Nothing…”

“Don’t be such a douche bag, say it or don’t.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “You just really love babies. I never really saw that coming…”

I didn’t have the slightest clue on how to respond to that, not really. “Liam is just sweet.”

“Well we can agree on that.” Lip said, reaching over to rub Liams head as he stood to leave the table.
When dinner was over, Kev left for the night, Lip had already left to God knows what, and Carl was somewhere in house, probably building a bomb, but he was being quiet so Fiona didn’t seem to care.

Me, Vee, Fiona and little Red all ended up watching a movie. I definitely didn’t pout when Liam was put to bed.

I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, I mean I wasn’t staring at the photos up on the mantle of Red as a baby and little kid or anything. I just happened to be looking in that direction.

So I was a little distracted before I fully caught on to the conversation Little Red had started.

“But Sarah Johnson said she got commanded to do something like a week ago, and that if felt like amazing.”

“So you believe Sarah over me?” Fiona asks her, eyebrows raised.

Little Red was about 11 and had presented a few months back as an Omega. I had heard Fiona whispering stuff to her, none of it really sounding bad. Honestly it was kind of nice, it made wonder what if would have been like to have my mom or an older Omega sibling… but that was stupid.

“I don’t not believe you, but Sarah swore it was true!”

“Debbie, baby, this Sarah girl is lying out of her ass.” Vee tells her.

Then, to my horror, Debbie looks to me. “Mickey, you tell me the truth. Does getting commanded feel good?”

I saw Vee’s eyes widen. I know Kev told her all the shit from that interview. I can see in her face that she is about to interrupt so I don’t have to answer. But, I find myself not needing her to.

“I don’t know, I guess it depends.”

“Of course you would say that. Don’t listen to him, he is lying too.” Fiona says quickly, sending me a glare.

“I just mean,” I start, raising my eyebrows at Fiona. Then focusing back on Debbie, wanting to make my point and clarify “I mean, it depends on the Alpha and his like intentions and shit.” I see her face, still so young, scrunch in confusion. “I have had.. Alpha commands that were just meant to control me. And that feels like shit. It’s horrible, to not feel in control of your own… your own body. It hurts, it physically hurt sometimes to be given a command like that. But... But sometimes, if you have a good Alpha it can feel, different.”

“What do mean?” She asked quietly, obviously surprised by my honesty.

I thought for a minute. I knew the moment I was thinking of but I didn’t want to sound like a sap but, I guess it was the only way to continue.

“Well like… Ok, you know Terry is an ass. Well he was always a real hard ass about stupid fucking stuff, like smiling and laughing. ‘It makes you look like a pussy’. He always said that shit. And if you were lucky he just said that. If you weren’t lucky, which was like always, he would hit you or beat the shit out of you. He hated it seeing people happy. So, any way, I learned really quickly to not let emotions show, so I don’t laugh or smile a lot. Then… don’t fucking tell him I told you this… then one day, when Red and I were starting to feel more serious, we were at my house alone. Somehow he ended up tickling my feet and he wouldn’t stop. I did everything to keep a straight face, even though I wanted to laugh so bad. And Ian was going and going. He started telling me to laugh, and I wouldn’t and wouldn’t. Then he leaned down and just whispered ‘Let yourself laugh’. He didn’t even know it was a command until after. But right then.. it felt like… like a giant weight was lifted from me. Like I was free, and being able to laugh felt like, well it just felt really good. Not like the other kind of commands I had had. And I don’t know, I figured its because Ian always has good intentions. He cares.”

Debbie’s little face had gone wide, taking in every word. “So I just need to find a Alpha like Ian, and it will always be nice?”

I laughed at that and reached out mussing up her hair. It was then that I really realized I told that story to Fiona and Vee too, not just Little Red.

“Fuck,” Fiona said, “I’ve never had a command like that.”

By the time we left that night it was well past midnight, but we always stayed late on Saturdays.
Vee and I had just left the front door, Fiona behind us on the porch when we saw Tony Markovich walking from a parked police cruiser, to his house. He looked beat to hell.

Fiona had noticed too and shouted out. “Who the fuck got you?”

Markovich looked around, noticing us on the porch. He shrugged his shoulders and nodded toward me. “His brothers.”

What the fuck.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t just my brothers who went out and caused shit that night. Every male alpha Milkovich went out that night and fucked some shit up.

“What the fuck happened?” I whisper over to Mandy as we sit in the court room. Vee and Kev sit next to me. At first they didn’t think it was a good idea for me to come to the hearing, but this is still my family, my brothers, like fuck I am missing this. That being said no one will fucking tell me what happened. Plenty of Milkovich’s have been locked up. It is practically a family reunion for any Milkovich going into lock up. But, this shit is different. Every fucking male alpha, and all going in for doing minor shit. Fucking up some pigs, but not too bad,
some fucking broken windows, some fights. This is low tier shit, not a gun, drug or dealing charge in sight.

Mandy just shakes her head like she doesn’t know, but I can tell she is full of shit. Even Aunt Randie wont fucking say anything.

The court room is full of Milkovich’s right now. I am not sure there are any other people in here. All of them waiting to hear the charges put against them and finding out if they will be in lock up or if they can get home arrest or some shit.

I know I sound like a pussy, but I really wish my brothers would get their shit together. They aren’t meant for this. They aren’t that fucking dumb, they could get legit jobs. Become mechanics or some shit. Then they could settle down and start fucking families. I could have nieces and nephews… god dam it, I need to stop thinking about babies.

“Order, I call order.” The old as fuck judge yells from the stand. He looks pissed.

My brother Jamie is the first in the line up of my family members, waiting to hear where they will be going, and what charges will be brought against them. My other brothers are directly behind him. Then my Uncle Frankie, and Uncle Rick, my cousin Sam. It goes on and on. I was a little nervous to be around so much of my family, now that my scent is fully in and there is no hiding shit. But, no one has said anything, though I keep catching them staring at me.

“I don’t know what this families problem is, but I am sick of this behavior.” The judge begins. “I don’t know what you are all planning, because I know it has to be something, but I will not allow…”

“Your honor, may I approach the bench?”

I turn to my left, along with everyone else, to see who just spoke. My stomach clenches when I see Tony Markovich there. I am sure he is about to unload some shit to mess with my brothers. Help them land in lock up for even more time.

“Who are you?” The judge asks.

“Officer Tony Markovich. I was assaulted by Jamie, Collin and Iggy Milkovich.”

The judge tilts his head at this. “Yes, come speak to me.”

I hold my breath along with Mandy, even Vee and Kev seem to tense up.

Tony goes to the bench. The defense attorney approaches as well but is sent back. Tony whispers so low no one can hear anything he says. He says something though that agitates the judge. “Of course I fucking know who Terry is.” He says loudly in response to Tony. But, Tony doesn’t get any louder. He continues to speak softly. The judges face morphs from agitated to, I don’t know surprised. The judge shakes his head as he whispers back to Tony. The conversation becoming more animated in the eyes of the judge. Emotions starting to form in the folds of his face. There is only one more audible word that comes from him, “Here?”

And then Tony and this old man, deciding the fates of my family, both turn and look directly at me.

I look away, I can see now that over half of my family members are looking at me. And, even more than before, I know I have been left out of some important fucking decision.

“Thank you, Officer. I appreciate that bit of information.”

I don’t look up but I hear Tony’s footsteps as he goes back to the corner of the room.

“Ladies and gentleman, members of the Milkovich family. It seems as though further information is needed before these hearings may proceed. For the time being, all of you will be sent to Chicago penitentiary, South Side, for holding until the proceedings can be completed. We will reconvene in 72 hours. That is all court dismissed.” The gavel lands and the judge stands, straightening his robes and leaving the courtroom. The attorneys clamor, calling for him to answer questions, but he doesn’t stop.

While the court room attorneys and workers seem shocked my family is not. Milkovich’s are known for being disruptive assholes, but every single one of these men stand calmly, some even fucking smiling. No one says shit as they are escorted out of the courtroom and off to lock up.

And just like that my brothers are off for another visit to state. This is so fucking weird. What are they all up to and what the fuck did Tony say?
“So they just they are all just being held at state?” Ian asks.

“I know, its fucking weird.”

It’s Monday afternoon and we are sat outside for lunch, on the one grassy spot in the whole school. The sun is actually out and it isn’t cold enough to freeze your balls off. It doesn’t suck. I am eating my free hot lunch, but Ian has a sandwich Fiona made. Along with some stale chips and a speckled banana. He also has a fucking snickers bar, which he knows is my favorite. And when he takes it, breaks it in half and gives me the bigger half, I smile so big I can’t even look at him.

I know this is cheesy as hell, and I have this family shit now that I don’t know what do with, but fuck, Ian and I are like having a picnic. Would I never tell anyone how much I fucking love this. No, obviously. It would sound so stupid, I would look like a complete bitch. But, this is… so nice.

Without really thinking, I reach over, resting my hand on Ian’s. When I look up at him he smiling, and I don’t think he knows how happy this lunch has made me.

“Do you want to go under the bleachers when your done?” I ask.

He smiles, shaking his head yes. He shoves the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and puts the rest of his lunch back in his bag. “I’m done.”

I laugh, but I also move just as quickly as he does. Being off of suppressants and blockers took our already great sex to a whole other level. Keeping quiet is hard, but so far we have been okay. My doctor told me to avoid anymore knotting until my heat, and we have. So I don’t think just hooking up is really hurting anything.

The rest of school goes by pretty quickly. Both Mr. Cox and myself just ignored my even stronger than normal scent when I came back form “my long lunch”. Though he did tell me try and be on time the rest of the week or he would have to speak with Mr and Mrs Ball. So, ya, got to make those quickies quicker. Like fuck I am getting lectured about this by Vee or god forbid Kev. Kev would probably talk to Ian too, and I might die if that happened.

Ian is working again that night. I think Linda might hate me, because why else would she have him working so god damn much. But, Vee and Kev are both working too. Vee usually gets off earlier but she picked up a shift for Rachel. Fiona and Jimmy/Steve/Whatever are going out for the night, and Lip had work too (where he works, I don’t know and I don’t care) which left Liam needing a babysitter.

Fiona still isn’t my biggest fan, but she still wanted to get out. So, I pretended to think about it when she asked me to watch Liam. I thought my delay of about two seconds and a “ya whatever” was unaffected enough. She doesn’t need to know how excited I fucking was.
I hadn’t mentioned it to Vee or Rachel, but with no suppressants it wasn’t just my sex life that was going over the top, so was the whole baby thing. Well mainly the last week. My mind seemed to be on a revolving index of Ian, Ian sex, babies, Ian babies. Just over and over. I mean it wasn’t that bad, I still got school work done and shit. But… well I maybe should bring it up to Vee because concentrating is getting harder.

As soon as Fiona and what’s his face leave the Gallagher house is a fucking party. Debbie, Carl, Liam and myself all play “run gone wrong”, where you pretend your drug run has been busted and you have to get away from the cops. I played it all the time with Mandy and my brothers. That lasted a good while. Then we all had dinner and ate jello while watching Tangled, because Tangled is the shit, and Fiona paid me for babysitting with a fridge full of orange jello.

Maybe I held Liam for a good 45 minutes of the movie while he slept, but that’s no ones business. At ten the three went to bed. I still had about an hour for Fiona to show back up, and Ian wasn’t off until midnight. So I turned on a Van Dam movie, I definitely wasn’t pouting about Ian working late.

Of course it’s the Gallagher house so it didn’t stay quiet for long. And when Fiona did get back and her and Jimmy asked about the unconscious Frank laying on the kitchen floor I told her “He came in bitching about some shit. Started looking for some coffee, was about to find that old tin can of coffee in the high cupboard, and I punched him in the throat.” Both of their eyes went wide. “He was being annoying, and loud, he was going to wake up the kids.” I finish.

Fiona’s look of shock morphs to a hard look. “You know about the squirrel fun…”

“I know Ian doesn’t work his ass of for some asshole to try and take it to go get high and drunk, all while having the whole house wake up.” I step over Frank’s unconscious but very alive body. “He will be fine, and he doesn’t know shit.”

I get to the door and as I open it Fiona speaks up, a simple “Thanks” but it still catches me by surprise. I just shake my head, and head down the stairs. Fiona is a hard ass, but I think she might just hate me a little less right now.

The next morning Vee and Kev get me up early to get next door for a pancake breakfast before school and work. I hate getting up early, but banana pancakes and Ian motivate me pretty well.

“I want at least ten pancakes.” I declare as I open the door to the kitchen, immediately grabbing orange juice off the table to chug. Damn I am hungry as fuck.

“Get a glass.” Vee shouts before I can drink out of the container.

I sigh deeply but go to get a glass.

I know I am officially on Fiona’s better side because I do, in fact, get a huge ass stack of pancakes.

It’s a pretty nice breakfast, everyone is relativity quiet. Probably because it’s the morning and they are eating. Ian is holding my hand under the table, which no one else can see, and I don’t know that might be making it a pretty nice breakfast too.

The TV has been on in the background, some morning local news on. I think Carl is hoping for a snow day, even though it’s definitely spring and there is no chance of snow. But, because its so quiet we are all able to hear it clearly when a new news story begins.

“A twelve hour riot took place at the South Side penitentiary yesterday…” my head perks up and so does Kev and Vee’s. Ian catches on and goes to turn the volume up, I follow behind him.

“Only three were injured in the riot, two officers and one inmate are reported to have minor injuries. All three have been released from the hospital. There was one death reported, inmate Terry Milkovich was killed. The penitentiary reports that there was a failure in the camera system during the riot, and there are no leads in who may have committed the murder. It is also reported that Mr Milkovich was currently in solitary confinement, and that there may have been a failure with the locking mechanism for his door. Mr Milkovich was currently under trail for assaulting, molesting, and the attempted sale of an under aged ome..”

The tv shuts off.

Terry is gone. And now I know what the fuck my family was up to.

I don’t know how to feel. Ian wraps his arms around me, and I hold on to him.

Terry is dead.

Chapter Text

I don’t know what to feel right now. It’s like every emotion you can have has rammed itself into my heart and there just isn’t enough room to feel all of them.

I am curled up in my nest, Vee got me out of the Gallagher house pretty quickly. It was probably my stupid scent that got her attention the most. She isn’t here though, in my room. I didn’t want Vee or Kev here. It’s just too much, too many people. Ian is here, but I don’t want anyone else, at least not right now.

Right now I just want Ian, to help ground me, to help me stay here and not let my mind wander. I breathe his scent in deeply and try to pretend that I don’t notice the stream of tears that continue to run down my fucking face. That might also be the reason I don’t want any one else in here. I don’t need the world to see me acting like a fucking little bitch.

“Mickey, baby, you have to talk to me.”

I just shake my head. I don’t want to talk. I don’t know what I am feeling, how am I supposed to talk about shit.

I should try, I know I am freaking Ian out, but… god damn it I hate this.

I hear the sobs coming out of me and I bring my hands up to hide my face.

“I… I don’t even know… why… why am even crying. I hate him. I fucking hate him.”

“I know.” Ian says, trying to sounds assuring, but I can still tell I am freaking him out.

He is sitting on the end of my nest, facing me. He tried holding me when we first got here but I moved him away. Even his touch felt a little suffocating right now. But, he has stayed patient. I am sure he is just waiting for when I reach out to him, even I know I will eventually.

My head spins as different emotions and thoughts filter through.

“They just killed him… they didn’t even offer to let me get a shot in!…”

“Wait, are you crying because you wanted to kill him?”

I continued to sob as I answered. “No… It’s just not fair. All the shit he did… I haven’t even told you what a fucking bastard he was… I deserved to at least see it… to see the minute he knew… when he knew he was fuck!!”

“So, your mad you didn’t get to see…”

“It’s just not fair!” I answer loudly, sniffling and pressing in at my eyes, trying to stop the fucking flood coming from them. “It’s not fair… My brothers could have done this years ago. But, they wait until now? When there are charges against him and he is locked up!…” My heart aches as I add the truth that really hurts, “They do it now, after years of him hurting me… suddenly they want him dead for it… Why couldn’t they have… why couldn’t they have killed him after the first time? Why did they let him do that to me?!…”

My eyes are covered and my heart hurts, so fucking bad. But, as soon as I finish saying that stupid shit, I feel Ian’s arms wrap around me. Holding me so tight, his scent so strong, full of protection and concerns and…well, love. Somehow, this makes me feel both stronger and weaker at the same time.

Quietly now, I let out one more truth, one more dark question that tugs at my heart.

“Why did he do it? Why did he have to hurt me? Why couldn’t he just be my dad? Why couldn’t he just love me?”

That’s when I really loose it. When my heart feels so fucking raw and open. I haven’t felt this shitty since that fucking party, where it all started. But, I have Ian now. And he feels so strong and secure, something solid to hold on to and keep me safe.

I don’t know how long I cry. But, at some point I wake up, realizing I literally cried myself to sleep. Ian is still next to me, still holding me. My head is on his chest, and he is running his hand through my hair. It feels really good.

I must twitch or something, because he moves a little, taking his hand away.

“Don’t stop doing that.” I tell him.

“What?”

I take his hand, without lifting my head, and put it back on my head. I hear him laugh to himself, and he begins stroking my hair again.

“Are you feeling better?” His tone sounds light, but I know he is worried.

“A little.” I lie.

He just takes his arm, the one not being used with my hair, and holds me closer to him.

“It’s ok baby.”

We stay that way for awhile, and I am just glad I am not fucking crying again.
“When your ready, Vee made lunch.” He says tentatively. “You should probably eat something baby.”

“Vee made lunch before work?”

“No, she made it just awhile ago. She text me.”

I look up at him from where I lay on his chest. “Vee is here?”

“Of course, here and Kev.”

“Why, they have work and shit…”

“Because, they care about you Mick. We all care about you.”

It’s fucking funny, for the first time in a long ass time, I believe that. I believe that I have people who care. People besides Mandy. I have Ian, I have Vee, and I have Kev. My fucking brothers, my family. I have people who fucking care. When the fuck did that happen.

Even this feels like too much today, so I grab on to Ian. I pull even closer to myself, with no plan to let go anytime soon.

Chapter Text

The hallway is dark. I can hear Vee snoring on the other side of the door. I can hear the old refrigerator humming downstairs. I can hear the odd siren outside, some cars speeding down the street.
And I can hear my heart, still beating way too fast.
It’s been three days since Terry was killed. Three weird ass fucking days. I haven’t just nested, I’m not some little bitch who can’t get over shit. On day two I pulled it together and got out and lived life.
I know it’s fucked up to be upset, but the whole thing happening, makes me feel off. And I wish it fucking didn’t. So I have ignored my feelings, like I was raised to do, and I moved forward.
But, nothing can stop the dreams. My dreams have always been pretty fucked up. For years, every time I closed my eyes I saw my mothers empty hallow face, her pale skin…
After the first time Terry… when Terry hurt me, the dreams changed.
The times I’ve been with Ian for the night, I have slept better. But, he worked late tonight and I don’t want to get busted sneaking over to his place. Like I did last night.
I mean it’s bullshit Fiona was up that late anyway.
She wasn’t a total bitch about it, but I can be pissed if I want to. Ian is my Alpha. Fiona and Vee get to be with their Alphas whenever the fuck they want. It’s bullshit.
Now it’s another night and another nightmare, and I fucking hate that I can’t do this anymore. The nest helps, but it’s not enough. I need… fuck, I need someone around so I know it’s just a dream.
Vee said I could get them… she said it would be ok… but… I don’t want to make them mad by waking them up…
They aren’t Terry. I’m not six. This isn’t Terrys house.
God just thinking his name makes me shake even more, and I feel a whine climbing my throat.
I squeez my eyes shut in frustration and I see his face comes toward me, I smell his repulsive scent as it fills the room, I feel his hand grab on to me…
I open my eyes and the whine I tried to hold back comes flying out. So loud it will probably wake up the Gallaghers.
My hand finally goes to Vee and Kevs bedroom door. Need finally winning over the fear.
I hold my breath, waiting to hear them. But no sound comes.
Fuck.
I knock again, my hand still shaking. This time it’s louder, and I hear someone shifting and finally walking toward the door.
I am expecting Vee. But, when Kev opens the door, even when I feel I should be scared, I’m not. I’m surprised that I feel relieved. The creeping feeling of Terry seems to go away a little with Kev somewhat near me… it’s weird as fuck.
“What’s up bud?” Kev asks around a giant yawn. I see Vee starting to get up from bed too.
God I am such a pussy. I can’t even let these people sleep. There is no way they will keep me around if I start doing this shit.
I whisper a “nevermind” and turn to leave.
My ears are still pounding with the sound of my own heart, so I can’t hear what Vee says but I can hear Kev tell her, “It’s okay babe, I got it.”
I am walking toward my room, quickly, trying to seem small and invisible.
Why the fuck would I wake them up? It’s so stupid, like I am a fucking baby. Like I can’t handle a dream. God, I am so stupid.
“Stop” Kev says. It isn’t a command, but I listen like it is one, freezing in step.
As I start saying how sorry I am, he continues to walk past me, “Let’s go down stairs.” Is all he says, not touching me, or telling me off.
I follow, and sure as shit he is already on the couch when I get down the stairs.
“Rambo’s on, lucky timing.” He says, smiling at me as I slowly walk closer.
He puts the blanket that’s stays on the couch around him, and I sit I snuggle more into the one I have had wrapped around me.
Maybe it’s the stupid fucking time I have put in sitting next to Kev each day, even letting him start to pet my hair, but I don’t mind this shit. Smelling an Alpha that isn’t Terry, is nice. Knowing Kev will watch out for me… I guess that helps too. I still don’t want to sleep, so I keep my eyes on the screen, forcing them to stay open.
“Bad dream?” Kev asks after twenty minutes of silence.
I just hmmm and don’t look his way.
“Terry?”
Hmmmm
“It’s okay if you miss hi…”
“I don’t” I interrupt him, keeping my eye on the movie, not really watching.
“Ok” is all he says in response.
I know Kev won’t push it. He won’t keep asking, and it’s not like I want to talk about this shit.
I had to start counseling, the court said I had to go the day before Terry died. But I don’t really say shit. I don’t want to relive any of it.
But, I guess, Kev knows a lot. With him at the interview he heard more than I have ever told anyone. He knows now than Ian…
Quietly, just loud enough to make him strain to hear, I say “His ruts…”
“What’s that?”
“I can’t stop… when I close my eyes, I keep going back to the ruts he made me… I keep seeing it.”
Kev is silent for a moment, but soon his scent fills the room, strong and protective. “Mickey, I won’t ever let anyone hurt you like that again.” I almost believe him when he says it.
I don’t know when I fell asleep, I’m surprised as fuck that I did. I am even more surprised waking up to Kev The Giant and I sharing the couch, my head at one end and his at the other. I move around and quickly find Kevs giant ass bare feet too close to my face. Blaaa
As I start to move off the couch, he begins to move too.
“My boys finally waking up?”
I look over my shoulder into the kitchen to find Vee standing near the sink.
That’s when it all comes back to me. The fact that I was a little bitch, too afraid to sleep alone, so I had to wake them up, fuck.
“Hey babe, you got coffee on?” Kev responds, sounding tired, and I see him stretching and moving his head and neck, obviously uncomfortable from sleeping on the couch.
Which he did because, again, I am a little bitch.
I can’t keep my eyes up. They go to the floor, humiliated for acting this way. I even feel my face go warm. God, Terry would have kicked my ass for this.
My scent must be smell off because right away Kev and Vee start asking what’s wrong.
I just shake my head and quietly say “I’m sorry.” What the fuck is wrong with me. I can’t even pull it together and get out of the room.

With my eyes still on the floor I don’t see Vee come over our way, and she catches me by surprise when she wraps her arms around me. I don’t push her away like I would have months ago. I don’t even go stiff like I would have even a few weeks ago. I lean into Vee as she rubs my back and tells me everything is ok.

When Kev’s hand starts petting my hair I lift my head up chasing the nice feeling it leaves behind. It feels so good to have them and their scents surrounding me, subconsciously telling me everything is ok. And for a minute I can forget how ridiculous I have been acting and I just let myself feel protected and fuck I don’t know…. It feels like with Ian sometimes… like they know me and like me and care about shit…

And now I’m just thinking of Ian… god I miss him! I haven’t seen him for… well since yesterday evening, but god damn it I miss him!

With Vee wrapped around me I ask “Can we go have breakfast next door?”

Vee let’s out a short laugh and says “ya ya go get dressed.”
For some reason I pause and look up to Kev, waiting for his response.
I see sunrise in his face when he realizes why I haven’t moved.
“Ya, let’s go.” He finally says, and I am off.
Banana pancakes with Ian sounds like the best thing in the world this morning!
He probably isn’t even awake yet, I could hurry and make them for Ian, he would love that! And I bet Kev would love to have some too. Kev would definitely love to have some pancakes!
“Lip doesn’t get any fucking pancakes.” I think to myself as I slip my shoes on.
I’m so glad I had this idea because all the fucking anxiety from the night before is gone. I’m dressed and out the door so fast Vee and Kev haven’t even gone up to change yet.
“See you next door.” I shout as I pretty much fucking fly off of the front steps and run across the lawns.

I don’t mind cooking, I never have. I use to help my mom whenever Terry wasn’t paying attention. When she was gone, we didn’t have much to cook. Tomato soup made out of ketchup packets became my best dish when I was 9. Mandy was would steal crackers from school cafeteria. We lived off of that shit for months.

Ian, of course, is the first one down for breakfast. He has already eaten two pancakes by the time the rest of the heard arrive. I have Kevs plate ready when he walks in the door.
I was ready to tell Lip to fuck off, and Jimmy/Steve, but I was distracted. Ian has a test today and report due. I know he will ace the test.

But, as we walk to school, I can’t help but think how much better this day would be if we could just stay at home together. I could let Ian hold on to me for like the whole day. He would love that. We could do plenty of other shit too. We would both love that.

By the time we get to school I’m so worked up I drag Ian along to the bleachers first thing. Sure we are late for first but that class isn’t important for Ian and I don’t give a fuck.
But, I do regret getting so worked up because my scent is getting even more attention than usual. I had to threaten an English teacher when he got to close to me in the hallway walking to the library. Fucking asshole.

To be honest, it kind of fucking got to me more that it should have. Because until lunch I was back to feeling pretty shitty like the night before. Mr Cox even asked if I wanted to call Vee or Kev, and I almost fucking did. Which surprised the shit out of myself. But I already annoyed them enough and plus I would see Ian at lunch. And when I did, and he saw I was having a shitty day, he got me a snickers bar. So of course I gave him a blow job under the bleachers. When he gave me one as a thank you I almost died it felt so good. But damn it did I want more!

“As soon as school is over baby, I promise.” Ian had told me as he kissed my bare thighs. “God you are sweet today.” He added as he went back in to lick up slick that leaked down. God I was soaked. I smelled so strong Ian walked me to the bathroom, then to the library.

I was looking forward to time with Ian for the rest of the day. I didn’t get shit done for class work. Mr Cox told me if I didn’t get my biology work done by tomorrow he would have to speak with Vee. Which pissed me off because this will definitely cut into time with Ian.

When school is finally over and we get to the Gallagher house I have a plan. I bite my pride and ask Lip for help with biology. I hate doing it, but Ian has to focus on his homework and Lip can do this shit in his sleep. Plus Mr Cox will actually test me on this because he is sick like the sometimes. Ha, Mr Cox is a dick!

At least Fiona is making lasagna, and Vee is off work and hanging out. It’s nice when she has time to hang out for awhile. And, Kev was able to get out of work early too! Which he never gets to do. After he says hi to Vee I have him come sit by Ian on the couch so I can sit between them on the floor, working with Lip.

“Would you try and focus?” Lips says, getting frustrated. Which really kind of doesn’t make me feel great, because today kind of sucked anyway. But Ian and Kev growl at him and that makes me feel better.

But, when 15 mins later when I interrupt him to ask Vee, “Are you grocery shopping tomorrow Vee?”

“Seriously!” Lip says

I glare at him and I hear Ian chuckling behind me.

“I’m hungry ass face!”

“What do you want kiddo?” Kev asked from behind me, ruffling my hair.

“Could I get some orange jello… and some snickers. Oh and maybe some barbecue chips?!”

Of course Kev says yes, he is such a nice Alpha. I can’t stop smile I get. But I try to look down at my book so not everyone sees it. I still wish I had that food right now though. Plus Fiona’s lasagna.

But I have to focus. If I want to sneak away with Ian, I have to get shit done.

Half an hour later I see the light at the end of the tunnel. So close to getting this shit over with. I’m so excited that I actually feel myself getting a little wet already, just thinking about time with Ian. I don’t think anyone noticed. Ian definitely notices but that makes sense.

I try to ignore it and focus on what Lip is asking. He is quizzing me on recessive and dominate traits.

“Blue eyes and brown eyes?”

“Brown dominate.”

“Dimples?”

“Dominate.”

“Blonde hair and black hair?”

“Black is dominant.”

“Sticky ear wax?”

“Wait, I have a question.” I say, looking up at Ian with his stupid orange bright as fuck hair. “How dominate is red hair?”

I will me eyes away from Ian do I don’t get caught staring for too long. That would have to be a bitch move right. I mean he is reading his book anyway.

Lip is giving me a shit eating grin that I pretend not to notice.

“Recessive, both parent need the gene to have a child with red hair. So sticky ear wax….”

I can’t even hear him. My heart starts beating so fast. My breath gets fast. I can’t l… I can’t… there are no red heads in my family!!!! NONE!!!

Even I know my scent is off when I feel Ian’s hand on my shoulder, but the touch barely helps.

“What did you say?” Kev asks Lip, as Ian asks me “What’s the matter?!”

I look up at him, feeling my failure more than ever! The wetness in my eyes wont be stopped and I feel the first tears roll down my cheeks.

“Mickey baby, you have to tell me!”

“I swear Kev we are just studding!” I hear Lips slightly manic voice answering an agitated Kev.

Kev and Ian both have strong protective scents pouring out and it just makes me feel worse. How could I do this?!?!

I smell Vee before I see her, she’s down at my side, Ian is still holding my hands, and I can’t control the tears coming from my eyes.

“What the fuck?..” I hear Fiona saying. Fuck her!!!! And fuck I’m just crying more.

“Mickey what is wrong?” Ian asks again. And he is so worried. I should at least try and answer.

“I…. I… have black… black haaaaaaiiir!!!!!” I sob.

“What.” I think the entire room answers in response.

How could they not understand!!!!

I look at Ian with pleading eyes. All I can hope is that he would still want me after realizing what this means.

I try to breathe as I cry out, “ I don’t have any family with… with red hair… That… that means…I… wont… have… red headed ba….bab… babiiiieeees.” And I loose it again at the end.

I feel Ian’s hand on my back, as I have my body tucked down in shame.

“Mickey, baby, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter…”

“Oh my god!” Ver interrupts. “Kev go home and get a pizza ordered. Then get ready to go to the store. Mickey and I will be right behind you!”

“What? No, I can’t leave Ian. He may never take me back?!?!” I wail.

“Mickey, that’s silly…”

I feel Vee at my side, tucked down low to whisper in my ear. “Mickey, you’re in preheat. We need to go home. You need to nest.”

My blood goes cold. Heat!!! Fuck, I can’t…

I look up at Vee. “I don’t want to be in heat!!” I say, realizing too late how loudly I said it. My face turning so hot it may have been on fire. A sharp whine escapes me before I even can stop it.

I look to Ian, but his face is funny and his eyes are huge, pupils blown wide. He doesn’t seem to be too aware of what’s happening.

Kev though is suddenly in front of me. His face in front of mine, making me focus. “Come on Mickey, it will be ok. We are going home.”

He holds my upper arms and guides to standing. And starts leading me away. The Gallaghers, for once, are silent.

I’m am scared shitless, but I’m also panicked because… because Ian. By the time we make the it to the kitchen door I’m turning, desperate to get Ian’s attention!

“Ian.” I cry out, softer this time, “Alpha, please!” I don’t even know what I am asking of him, I just need him!

Calling out to my Alpha seemed to do the trick though, because there he is, his scent now even stronger.

But when he goes to hold my hand Kev growls and Vee steps in between, Fiona walking up behind Ian and holding on to his shoulders.

“You two calm down,” Vee says. “Heats are hard, first heats are especially hard. Mickey needs to get comfortable Ian. Let us get him comfortable first. Okay?!” She says, speaking directly to Ian, who’s pupils are still huge.

“But he is mine!” He answers. I should be pissed but instead Kev has to tighten his grip on me as I try to go to Ian, my Alpha!

“Yes, he is your omega. He is our son. Let us help him first. Be a good Alpha!”

Ian still looks agitated, but then Vee adds, “He needs this time Ian. He needs this help. Let us help him first.”

Then I see Ian shaking his head, like he is trying to get out of a haze. He looks at me again and then shakes his head yes. “I’ll be over in an hour.” He says as he looks in to my eyes.

I am about to first and say I want him now, but Kev leans down and says “Be a good boy and go home now.” into my ear. It isn’t a command, no where near it. But fuck, I do want to be good.
So, while staring back Ian, I walked to the back door and was guided out. The cold air did seem to help me the tiniest bit. But, fuck I’m still going into heat.
I look up at Vee, “I’m scared, Vee.” I say.
“I know baby,” she says rubbing my back as we walk, “but it will be ok. Let’s get you to your nest sweetie!” And she guides Kev and myself back to the house.

All I can think of is how scared I am and how bad I want Ian!

Chapter Text

“I already have my nest set up,” I tell Vee as we walk into my room.
And it is set up, my brothers and Mandy’s clothes are at the bottom, I have a few things from Vee and Kev thrown in and there are a little more than a lot of Ian’s clothes around the top of the bed and mixed in with my pillows.
All of my new soft and fluffy bedding is covering the bed. My soft as a cloud pillow is right where I like it.
My nest is made! It can’t get any better.
“Ok sweetie, here is the heat supplies.” I hear Vee say as she walks back into my room from the hallway. I’m still looking at my bed, my back to her and whatever crap she brought in.
I turn to tell her I don’t need any more shit, but then…
“Where did you get that blanket?!”
In her hands are the softest looking blankets and pillows I have EVER SEEN.

Vee laughs a little but I ignore it. “I picked up a heat nesting box when we bought all of your other things.” She says as she places the items on the floor next to my nest. “These are special linens for a heat. They are soft and very light, so it won’t bother you as much when you’re fever spikes. They are also strong enough to go through washes without breaking down.”

My hand was petting the fabric. I already want it on my bed so bad. My nest is shit, absolutely horrible. I can’t believe I ever thought it was ever good enough!

Vee helps me strip my bed. She doesn’t try to touch the clothes or pillows, which I appreciate. I also ignore when she lays out a slick proof pad before putting the new sheets on. I love the new bedding and nesting, but that feeling of dread starts to creep up on me again.

I don’t want to go through this. My gut starts to twist with that anxious feeling that has been growing and building a home in my chest for the past few days.

I have hated the idea of a heat sense before I even presented. When I was young and our house would stink of Terry and my moms sourly sweet smell. Terry kept the both of them locked up for days. The sounds were horrible, my mom crying and begging for him to stop.

It’s too much to remember. To think of her going through that, while also remembering all the shit that asshole did to me when he was rutting…

The smell of trash builds in my nose and I move away from the bed. My heart is beating so fast and I wipe at my eyes to try and stop the wetness from rolling down my cheeks. I try to face the wall to hide the sudden emotion from Vee. But her hands are on my shoulders so quickly.

“Mickey, you can talk to me.”

I don’t want to talk, I just want to disappear. When I don’t answer or turn toward her or show any sign of communicating, I hear her sigh.

“I know you have been through a lot. You don’t have to talk about it. But… well this might not be as bad as you think it will be.”

A sharp humorless laugh bursts out before I can stop it.

Vee moves her arms from by shoulders and starts rubbing my arms. “I know you don’t believe me. But, Mickey, do you remember what you told Debbie, about the commands?”

I turn my head slightly, but I still don’t answer.

“You said it was different with a good Alpha. That’s true for a lot more than just commands.”

My voice is so small, I hardly know it’s me saying “But, ruts… they make Alphas….” I can’t even finish saying it. I don’t want to think of Alphas in rut. How crazy they become. How mean and selfish and cruel they become. I don’t want to see Ian like that. I don’t want to see him like Ter… I can’t even think it, it’s too horrible.

“Mickey,” Vee continues, not giving up on my stalled thoughts,”Ian isn’t him. And heat or no heat, rut or no rut, he will never turn in to him!” She says it all so strongly, so sure that it’s true.

“I know he isn’t… but he will still be different…”

“Mickey, you will be different too. But not so different, you’re still you. Ian will still be Ian.”

I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I know what Alphas are like. “No, I have seen what ruts do. I have felt it. Ruts make Alphas crazy… they make them…”

“Terry was a monster! What he did to you isn’t sharing a rut.” I cringe and how blatantly she says it all. I hate hearing his name or being reminded so clearly of what he did.

“Is being with Ian like being with him?”

I turn to really face her now, scrunching my face in confusion. She rolls her eyes at me.

“Is sex the same with Ian compared to Ter..”

“No!” I shout interrupting quickly.

She raises her hands, palms up “Exactly! And do you know why? Because it isn’t the same thing Mickey! Choosing to be with Ian and being raped are different.”

I cringe back at the word, not wanting it to touch me. “Sex is different than rape. You didn’t share a rut with an Alpha, you were rapped! You don’t have to be with Ian, if it’s too much you can say no, and we will do what we need to to keep you healthy. But just know that Ian’s rut wouldn’t be like what Terry did to you.”

The thing is, I see her point, but I’m still scared. My mind travels back to the things Terry would say, what he wanted to do when I went into heat. Or the fucked up shit he did when he was in rut.

“What if… what if he wants to knot my throat? Or… do other things?” I finally ask. I don’t try to hide the emotion in my voice or stop the wetness building on my cheeks.

Terry never tried oral again, after I choked so bad on his knot that I passed out. Waking up to a burning throat and vomit all over myself. He made me clean… him, because I got it on him too.

Just remembering that taste stuck in my mouth, vomit and him, makes my stomach turn.

Vee, still behind me, wraps her arms around me. “Baby, if you don’t want Ian to do something you can say no. If you’re worried about something talk to him before your heat fully starts. Your heat will make crave a lot of things you may not always want, but it won’t change you so much, that you will want something that you are scared of.”

I turn to her, not really believing her but wanting to. “Really?”

“Yes. And, part of sharing a heat is finding the right Alpha to share it with. You should only share a heat with an Alpha you trust not to take advantage of you, someone who will respect boundaries and won’t command you to do what he wants.”

“Ian wouldn’t do that.”

“Are you sure? It’s ok if you need time to build that trust with Ian.”

“No, I trust Ian. He would never hurt me. He is perfect.” I say rubbing my heart, feeling so overcome with the emotion I feel for Ian.

After a moment I wince, because fuck. “Why does my chest hurt?” I ask Vee, without thinking. Then feeling slightly embarrassed for asking something so… omega-ie.

“Heats make your skin, and certain parts of your body, more sensitive. It will begin in preheat and become more intense during your heat. You’re fever will also start to grow. Are you feeling warm?”

“A little.”

Vee got up and pulled a small desk fan out from beside the door. She plugged it in near the bed and faced it in my direction. When the cool air touched me it felt amazing. A contented sigh left me with me even realizing.

“Remember Mickey, try not fight your instincts. Giving yourself over to your heat will help make it easier and more enjoyable.”

I feel myself turn red. People knowing what I am has been ok feeling. I got new clothes that fit and feel nice, I feel more like my own fucking person, I don’t have to fucking hide so much, like being with Ian. But there is a lot that I still don’t want to show. A lifetime of survival has taught me it’s not safe to show a lot of emotions or appear weak in any way. And so many omega tendencies can be viewed as overly emotional or weak…. Plus, there are Omega typical things I really don’t like doing. Some thing that Terry commanded.

Like, presenting. I have bent over for Ian plenty. Gone on all four even. I use to tell him to get on my ass all the time. For a long time we only did it that way because I was to .. not fucking scared, but whatever, to do it facing each other. But the point is, presenting is different. It’s submitting, making yourself as vulnerable as possible, showing your alpha you are ready to be taken. In the back of my mind I know it should feel good, but the choice was taken from me too many times, and the idea of it now makes my skin crawl.

All of that emotion must show on my face. Vee reaches for my hand. “ Just trust in Ian, and go with what your body tells you it wants.” Then she pauses. “Well except for two things.”

My eyebrows go up fast. Before I can ask she pulls out something from under a blanket that she must have been hiding.

“You will want Ian to claim you. But you’re both so young. Fiona and I both agree you should wait. A claim is forever. You can’t take it back.”

My face goes red. Ian and I haven’t really talked about claiming, other than saying we both want it some day, after school is done. I can’t lie, anytime he goes toward my neck, I want to beg him to bite me. A claim is forever, just like Vee said, and my selfish heart wants Ian for that long. I don’t want to ever lose him. But, I know we are young and it wouldn’t be fair to Ian.

So when vee shows me what she was hiding, a locking leather collar to protect my gland, I stop myself from cringing away. I let her put it on me. And I ignore when my eyes start to betray me with tears once again.

“I know it’s hard but we need to talk about these things now, before your heat beings. The other thing is the birth control.”

My lips curl up in disgust. My hands going to my stomach. “I can’t get rid of Ian’s pup. I couldn’t do that!”

“I’m not talking about abortion. We are talking about the pill. Ian will be in charge of giving that to you during your heat. We have all talked about it, and he wants to be trusted with it. Are you comfortable with that?”

I immediately know I am, but I also want to hide it. Because fuck, I want a baby now, or whenever Ian says I can have one. The fucking sane part of me knows I shouldn’t feel that way. But, I do. I will have Ian’s baby as soon as he says he wants one. I know that’s fucked up and I know it’s not just pre heat or fucking heat that makes me feel that way.

But I am definitely not talking about that shit with Vee. So I just bite my thumb and look across the room. “Ya, whatever.” Is all I say.

She doesn’t call me out, but I’m sure she can tell my answer is bullshit.

We sit in the room for a long time. Vee talks about heats, what to expect and how it may not be horrible. I’m still worried, but not like I was. I kind of wish we had talked before, but I doubt I will ever want to bring this fucking topic up.

The longer we are in the room the hotter I start to feel, and my wrists itch soooooo fucking bad, and god I am so hungry. I don’t know the last time I felt this fucking hungry!

By the time my stomach starts growling Vee just laughs a little.

“Ok, time to get downstairs. You need to get ready for the next few days and your body will want you to eat as much as possible.”

“I hate that my body feels so out of control.”

“I get that. The itching is the worst!”

“I knew that was weird, what the fuck is up with that?” I ask as well start walking to the kitchen.

“It’s your glands being inflamed and trying to spread your scent more. Your wrist you thighs, they will itch like crazy. Atleast the collar will help your neck gland. That’s the worst one!”

I laugh at that, “Fuck, seriously? I already stink up every room I’m in on a normal fucking day!”

“You don’t stink, Mickey. Your scent is very nice. Kev and I both think it’s very nice.”

I pause on a step and feel my whole body over heat as my face goes red. “You talk about that shit!!!”

“Everyone talks about scents, it isn’t weird. We weren’t expecting yours to be so floral. It’s nice.”

“Kev, likes my scent?” I ask, still frozen on the step, my heart beating faster.

Vee obviously sees worry written all over my whole damn body.

“Not like that Mickey! Never like that! You’re family, you smell like family. Not to mention your age makes your smell so sweet… it’s one of the reasons what Terry did is so fucked up. Family doesn’t smell like any omega you pass on the street. And young Omegas scents are so sweet, they really should attract only Alphas their age. Terry was…” Vee is obviously worked up, her scent getting protective. She takes a deep breath. “Im not going to talk about Terry, you know it was wrong. To Kev and I, you smell like a family. You smell like a child. And we are glad to have that scent mixed with ours.” She says as she takes my hand.

I surprise both of us when I reach out and hug her, quickly. And with out thinking I quickly say, “You guys smell good too.”

Then I catch the best scent in the whole world. And I hurry past Vee as I rush downstairs to find Ian in the kitchen with Kev.

I rush to Ian and wrap myself around him in a hug that might last until… well I might not ever let him go. His scent has gone deeper, muskier. I know it’s a rut scent, but fuck I love it!

“Come on Mickey, let’s get some food.” Kev says as Ian scents my back.

Kev starts to walk toward the table and I follow while still hanging on to Ian.

I look over and see that a bunch of food has been brought out and it looks so fucking good!! “Thanks Ian!” I say looking at the food.

Ian, who is equally wrapped around me, laughs and tells me it was Kev, he just helped.

“Kev you’re the best.” I say quickly. Reaching out momentarily to hug him instead of Ian. Kev is obviously surprised but goes with it, and isn’t upset when I quickly return to Ian, now sitting in his lap at the table to start collecting food.

I hardly notice Kev’s reaction, but I smell a sharp change in his scent to pure happiness.
I look up and see Vee hugging him and smiling.

Those two are weird, but I like them.

For a long time, everything seems to fade away and it’s just me and Ian eating at the table, cuddling and scenting each other. And drinking and drinking. Vee told me I would feel this way, hungry and thirsty, but it’s still over whelming! Plus Ian said I couldn’t have beer. I pouted but he didn’t care at all. Then I remember that Ian is always right, so I stopped caring and just drank the water.

At some point, I start to get tired. So tired. And I can’t even think about food anymore. I love lasagna but I’m done. I don’t even want to waffles anymore, which is funny because about three minutes ago I really really wanted waffles and then they magically appeared next to Ian. I think Vee might have helped but I can’t remember and anyway, god damn I am tired and I don’t want to even think of food or water.

I also don’t want to leave Ian’s lap. Which I have been sitting in. It feels really good to be so close to him.

I feel his hand tighten around my waist, I look down and realize I grinding my butt against Ian’s core. That’s why it feels so good, how long have I been doing that? Who cares, I’m still just fucking tired. Too tired to care about that now. I lean my head back against Ian, closing my eyes and breathing in his scent.

The last thing I remember thinking is, Ian is the best.

I think I remember hearing laughter and maybe Vee saying “This will be a long week.”

But who knows, I’m to gone to try and figure it out.

Chapter Text

When I wake up my first thought is where is Ian? Ian isn’t with me.

My second thought isn’t so much a thought, it’s a realization. I’m on fire. My whole fucking body is on fire. I can’t breath it hurts so bad.

Where is Ian?!

I feel a sob wrench out my body. My tears do nothing to cool my face.

Then a hand is on my shoulder. The scent fills me.

“Alpha, help me!”

“It’s ok Omega, I am right here.” He whispers in my ear as he moves down next to me. Every where out skin touches seems to make the fire burn a little less. But not enough.

“God, you smell good baby.” Ian says. His nose at my neck, his hands roaming over my body.

His hands find my nipples, when did my shirt come off?, and then his mouth finds them too.

The feeling, I can’t… it’s…

“Oh my god” I breath. His mouth, it stops the fire under my skin but it also builds even more of the heat building at my core.

“You taste so good. How do taste so good?” Ian asks as he sucks at my nipple, bitting down just on the good side of too hard.

A high pitch whine escapes me. This feels so good. Have we done this before?

He continues nip and suck between both of my small breast. No where near as developed as a female omegas, but still sensitive, and thanks to my heat, swollen and larger than usual.

Ian’s hands travel down my body, his lips and mouth staying where I want them for now.

His big hands span my stomach and I whine again. He bites down again as his hand finds my hips, drawing my toward him. And at the same time I feel and hear his growl that comes from his body, vibrating through me.

A loud moan leaves me as I feel a wave of pleasure pass through me. My legs squeezing together, increasing the pleasurable feeling passing through my body.

Ian’s lips leave me and I cry out wanting him back. The fire burning worse the second his touch is gone.

But then he has my wrists in his hand, pinning them above my head as he shoves his knee between my legs and up to my core. He leans down in to my face, searching my eyes for a moments. Then he is kissing me, my tongue finding his instantly. Tasting. Massaging. He pulls away and I follow. I pull to the side and he bites at my lip. I feel myself moving against his leg. The fire still building and driving me crazy, but somehow better with Ian.

His hands leave me wrist and find my chest once again. He kisses me deeper, as he pinches down on both of my nipples. All while grinding his knee into my core as I twist and move with the pleasure. I feel a burst of pleasure that runs through me in waves.

As the waves calm I realize two things. I still have underwear on. Underwater that is soaked in slick and Omega come. I want them off. And the fire, which was burning a little less just a moment before, is back and worse than before.

Ian is still above me, sucking on my neck, above the collar. Stupid fucking collar. My hands go to his ass. His naked ass. Ian is naked.

“Please, please!!“ I beg. What the fuck am I begging for? I don’t know. But I want it!!!

And Ian knows. He knows what I need and what I want. His hands going to my soaked underwear, peeling them off and throwing them who the fuck cares.

My brain is a scramble as he leans down, and licks the slick of my thigh. I moan and beg for more as his lips begin kissing me. His tongue tastes my, licking and sucking and driving me crazy. But it still isn’t enough. The fire in me is growing and growing.

My hips move without thought. I beg again and again. Until he Ian’s hot heavy body is on top of mine. And I feel his giant cock and my entrance.

A chorus of Alpha, please is running through me over and over. The fire in me burning. I will die if I don’t get relief soon!

Ian leans down and kisses me. Then, in one thrust, he is inside. I gasp at the sudden shift. My breath caught in my lungs. And then he starts moving. And the fire in my gut becomes desperate. The intense pleasure building doesn’t seem to matter compared to the fire. I feel my release building and building. When it comes I cry out but still the fire is there.

Ian’s thrust start to become erratic. Losing all of his rhythm, but the second I feel it, his knot starting to swell, I suddenly know what I need, and how was I so stupid before.

“Knot, please I need your knot!!! Ian, Alpha please PLEASE knot me knot me!!!” I scream over and over as his knot grows inside me.

Suddenly, all I see is stars. The fire is gone. I think I’m floating. Ian’s knot throbs inside of me as he comes and comes and comes. He feels so good. Like noting I have ever felt before.

Ian breaths into my neck. His thrusts stopping even as my walls continue to milk him. His knot still hitting the perfect spot inside of me.

“Good boy” he whispers in my ear. I can’t help but squeeze down on him then. He moans and thrusts again, causing me to moan in return.

Ian leans away from my throat to look at me, and I look back into his stupid beautiful eyes. The smile on his face returned on my own.

“This is going to be a good week.” He says.

And it is, fucking amazing.

I hate the fire. I think I might die whenever it starts. But Ian always knows what’s to do.
He always makes it end. And he tastes so good too! I know he gets tired but he keeps us tied. He keeps me full of his seed.

The first time I presented for him, I got so scared I started crying. Ian was so good, so patient, even in rut, he waited until I was ready. And, Vee was right, giving in to my instincts did feel better. It helped the fire on my skin cool down faster. It helped me to think more clearly. It helped everything. After that, whatever felt right I did. I presented, I wok Ian up when I needed him, I didn’t try to stop making noise after we were tied, I told Ian how good he was and perfect he was. I didn’t stop myself from snuggling in close to him after we were tied, taking in his scent, licking and biting at his neck.

On day four, with my fever still strong, I had woken Ian up to ask for his knot. He made me drink some water and eat a snickers that he kept by the bed. I don’t know where this came from, but Ian was so perfect for making sure I had something, even if he had to command me to eat and drink.

At first Ian had tried not to touch the collar, but after the first day-ish we both started fucking with it. It’s fucking locked on, I tried breaking it but Ian stopped me before I hurt myself. He tried too. But fucking nothing helped. We started to try and move it around a little, exposing just the very bottom of my glad for Ian to like and nip at. It felt so good, I came every time he tried for it.

On that fourth morning, when I was finishing me snickers, he started trying to move it. I laid back and let him do his best as he nipped and sucked and licked at the gland. The fire dying down just enough when his attention to it.
I didn’t hold back my moans, I didn’t try to hold my body still, or hide the slick that came rushing from me.

Ian pressed himself up against me, growling so hard I felt it through my body. “Mickey, I want it so bad.”
“Take me, please, knot me Alpha. I need you so bad.” I answered, wiggling my ass against his hard cock.
He twisted us, laying me flat, him on top with his nose still in my neck.
“I want this.” He said nipping at the bottom of my gland. “I want you forever.”
I whined loudly. “Do it, please alpha, please! I want you, I want it. Please!!!”
He tried moving the collar but fucker wouldn’t budge. I started pulling at the lock again, a desperate need in me growing, needing this thing off of me. Ian wants me. He wants me forever. I need him so bad. I have to have him. I need this fucker off NOW!
“Mickey don’t hurt yourself!” Ian commands, as I desperately try to break free.
My tears fall without shame.
“I need you Alpha. I want it so bad, I want you so bad.” I cry into his shoulder.
“It’s okay Omega. I want you too.” He sounds more clear headed than I am, even though I don’t really notice or care. I just know how bad I want his fucking bite. And I cry out with my frustration at the on thing I can’t have.

Every time this happens, both of us wanting the bite but the collar not fucking moving, because it’s happened a few times over the last four days, the fire grows so hot and fast, I almost pass out from the pain.

Instead of trying to calm me, Ian’s hands go to the lock, trying to break it again. It makes me cry out again, begging him to free me. Begging for the claim.

We both want this.

After trying for what feels like forever Ian gives up, frustrated as hell. He leaps of the bed, growling and snarling in anger, so fucking mad at not moving the damn collar, he punches his hand through the wall by the door.

I am immediately at his feet, begging for forgiveness. I should have never let this thing be put on me.

I cry and cry and Ian leans down to try and comfort me, all his angry smell gone in an instant.

But we both know, the collar needs to go.

With the fire in me burning hotter than ever, I start crawling for the door. Ian watching and following in confusion.

“What are you…” he starts to ask.

“Off, I get it off!!” I shout as I stand and while leaning on the wall, run down the stairs.

Ian it right behind me, and as I make it to the kitchen and start to dig through draws he doesn’t stop me. He rushes to one himself. He pulls out scissors and goes for the collar, but it’s to damn thick. I find a steak knife and immediately start sawing at the leather.
Ian doesn’t stop me, we are both trying to break this thing off of me.

I don’t how long it takes but right when the fucker is at its last bit to saw away, we hear foot steps on the stairs.

Vee finds the both of us, naked as hell, sawing off the collar with an old steak knife, in the middle of the kitchen.

“What the hell…”

Ian growls loudly and she puts her hands up. Then Kev is behind her, pulling he back slightly.

“Wow there boys, it’s ok, let’s just talk…” Kev starts with the scent of his calming pheromones filling the room. But before he can finish the collar is off.

The cool air against my gland feels amazing, and Ian’s mouth is over it instantly, making the desperate fire coving my skin cool finally. I jump and wrap myself around him. Feeling him grab my ass and start moving us, presumably, back to our nest.

As Ian takes us back up the stairs I can just barely hear Vee as she says “Well, I guess that’s happening.”

We are back to the nest before I know what’s happening. My on my back, Ian’s mouth on my neck. His hands on my body, going everywhere he knows I love. I had no idea how good this could be before. The fever is hell, but his hands and mouth and body are a fucking miracle.

When he enters me I scream in delight, every thrust bring me ecstasy as he hits that spot again and again and again. His hand goes to my penis, even now, no bigger than my thumb, and rubs at the sensitive head.

“Good I love your tiny cock.” He whispers in my ear. Not being cruel or teasing. He looks down as he plays with it, rubbing at the same time and rhythm as his thrusts.

With him in me, at my neck and rubbing all at once, it’s more than I can take.

So desperate I can’t even talk, moans and cry’s flying from my body. I start to come, so fucking hard.

Then his mouth is around my gland, his teeth no long playful nibbles, as Ian bites down hard. Breaking my skin and breaking my gland, making me his.

Everything goes white, my body is gone, I explode in ecstasy. I never knew anything could feel so good. Ian has lost any rhythm, pumping into me so fast and hard, and when I don’t think I could feel any better his knot pops inside of me, his hold still on the bite and his seed pumping inside of me, and everything goes white again. The feeling so overwhelming my body can’t take it.

I wake up still tied to Ian, as he licks at neck. The bite should hurt. But it just sends a shiver down my spine as he licks me, soaking up my pheromones.

I feel him, not just his body, but his love. Our connection is sealed. We are forever. My heart burst with joy.

His possessive growl rumbles in my ear and his hand travels until it’s covering my heart.

“Forever.” He says “I get you forever.”

I lift my head slightly and find his lips, my face wet with happy tears.

“Forever.” I answer back.

Chapter Text

After eight days I wake up finally feeling like myself again. Definitely a grosser version of myself. The smell of rut and heat might actually be burned into the walls of my room. It’s Ian and mines scents, so it isn’t the worst, but dear god it is so strong. Plus the smell of two people who haven’t bathed in a week.
“Jesus, I need a bath.” I mumble into my pillow.
My whole body is covered in dried sweat and, well other dried fluids.
I hear Ian laughing behind me, as he wrapped his sleepy arm around me, pulling me into his warm body.
His rut lasted 7 days. One the last day, he still managed to keep me happy. Though the one time we tried to use a “toy” that Vee got for us “just in case” I might have started crying. But, whatever, heats are stupid so I’m not going to feel bad about that.
Ian nuzzles into my neck, still holding me close, and humming contentedly. He kisses THE BITE, our bond mark, and I start purring immediately, my entire body rumbling with bone deep happiness and pleasure. Ian just holds me closer. And I can feel his heart grow with happiness or love or whatever bullshit you want to call it. The bond didn’t give us some weird fucking superpowers or anything, it’s just the absolute knowing, it’s like a piece of Ian is alive inside of me, and I can feel that he is here, that he is happy, that he loves me. And, well when we touch it makes feel so… so much more. The orgasms are on a whole new level!

I don’t know how long we play big spoon little spoon, but eventually I decide that I really do need to get clean off. My skin is literally flaking with god knows what dried fluid.

“Ya, we are both pretty horrible.” Ian laughs as finally manage to stand, and essentially leave the nest.

Ian grabs two semi clean throw blankets and hands one two me and covers himself with other. We have both been naked as hell since day one. Me because of the fever and Ian because I wanted him to be.

Just rising from the bed hurt. I am sore and fucking tired. Honestly I don’t want Ian anywhere near my business for at least two days. Which I tell him as we walk to the shower. I can tell he is tired but the way he is walking and moving (meaning he can) tells me he is nowhere near as uncomfortable as me.

“It’s bullshit, why aren’t you as soar everywhere fucking where in your body as I am?” I ask as we enter the bathroom and Ian locks the door.

I bring my hands to my chest, “My fucking tits hurt.”

Ian laughs and I glare. He is definitely part of the reason my chest feels like fuck. Seriously, I’m a fucking guy, Ian likes guys, why did he have to bite on my fucking tits so much, and why the fuck did I like it so much?!

I’m not going to ask him that though. I’ll just pretend it didn’t happen, for now.

I do bring my hands down to hips and turn to glare at Ian. “It’s bullshit, I feel like fuck and you are fucking fine.”

“I’m not ‘fine’ my abs and thighs feel like hell. And my back.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Listen pillow princess, I just put in a good week of..”

“Shut up,” I laugh as I go back to him and pull him to me again.

“I have to turn the water on.” Ian says as I hold on to him.

“I know.”

“Are you going to let go, so I can?” He laughs.

“Nope.”

The rumble of Ian laughter goes through me as he shuffles us to the bath and he turns on the water. He fills the tub and adds the shit I am assuming Vee left for us. The salt stuff and bubble shit. The whole time I’m plaster to his side.

It’s been eight days, but I don’t want to let go.

After the bath, I have Ian take the nest bedding down stairs to the laundry and I pull out my regular nesting stuff from the closet. And open my fucking window.

By the time I get it set up I am ready to sleep again. But, when Vee knocks at the door with two plates of eggs, potatoes and bacon, I realize how starving and thirsty I am.

It takes me a minute to be able to look her in the face. The memory of sawing off the collar with a steak knife, while naked, in the middle of the kitchen, is hazy but there.

“Mic, don’t worry about it, baby.” Is all Vee says about it. Because, of course she knows right away what the problem was. “You and Ian eat up and get some rest. I’ll be back for the dishes later.”

She sets the plates on the bed and heads back to the door, but I grab her hand to stop her.

I quickly pull her in and wrap my arms around her, taking in her warmth and her scent “Thank you.” She doesn’t say anything, she just hugs me back.

After scarfing down the food and water I drag Ian back to bed. I don’t know what time it is or what day it is, all I know is I am tired as hell. So we sleep. I curl into Ian and breath in his sent and just sleep.
I wake, who the fuck knows how long later, with Ian shaking my shoulder.

“Baby, mick, wake up.”

“Mmmmmmm” I’m still tired and sore.

“Baby, I need to get up. I need to get to school.”

“Nooooo.”

He wraps his big stupid arm around me and nuzzles into my neck. “I have to babe. I gotta test today. I’ll come home as soon as I can, ok.”

I’m too tired to think beyond ‘alpha stay’ but that isn’t fair. Even as tired as I am I know Ian has a life he has to live. My heat is over, and I’ve taken up enough of his time.

I scrunch up my face in annoyance, my eyes still closed, “Fucking go. Bringmeasnickers.” And I just pretend my heart doesn’t tug uncomfortably at having him leave. It’s just a few hours right. I can just sleep more.

“Ok,” he says as he kisses our bond mark, “sleep and I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

When I feel his weight leave the bed and hear the door lock, I want to cry out to him. I feel the whine building in my throat. I hold it back and roll over to his pillow, pulling it in and burying my face into it. The scent helps, and I feel myself drifting back to sleep.

The next time I wake up, it’s to the sound of whining. It takes my too long to realize it’s coming from myself. I open my eyes and realize they are wet with tears. I can’t stop the pathetic noises I’m making or the fucking water coming from stupid eyes. And god damn it, my heart hurts! It hurts like the first night my mom had died and I realized I would never see her again.

“What the fuck.” I sob to my empty room. Because no one is here. I am alone. I am all alone.

“Mickey?!”

“Veeeeee!” I cry out even louder.

She doesn’t even knock she just rushes into my room and into my nest. She wrapped her arms around me and for some fucking reason I just start crying harder.

“I…can’t… stop…. crying” I manage to say one sob at a time.

“Oh baby, where is Ian?”

“He had… he had to go… to… schoooool.”

Vee holds me tighter as I continue to sob. “Oh baby, it’s ok. I don’t think he knows. Try and calm down.”

“Doesn’t… know… what? Is he… is he ok?!”

“He’s fine baby, don’t worry about Ian. I meant post heat.”

“What.. the fuck.. is thaaaat?”

Vee tucks my head under her chin, and I hear a whispered “fuck.”

“Post heat is the time right after your heat. It’s when an alpha is suppose to care for the omega. If that doesn’t happen the omega has… well a hormonal crash. Like you’re having right now.”

“Ian did take care of me!!!! He gave me…. He gave me a bath… and he held me… and he feed me… Ian didn’t…. He didn’t do anything wrong.” I sob harder as I realize the truth “ I did some wro… something wrong… I was bbb.. I was bad.”

“No Mickey! You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re good! You’re a good omega!” Vee says as she begins to scent my arms and back, my chin still tucked under her head. “Ian didn’t do anything wrong either. He probably doesn’t know, or doesn’t realize your post heat would last so long.”

“What the fuck does…that mean. Is it lasting too long?”

“Well Mickey, with your new bond or maybe just your gland issues, you might just have longer post heats.”

“Fuuuuck. I fucking… hate… this shit!”

“It will be ok. Let’s go down stairs and get some more food. You can sleep on the couch.”

I don’t really want to move, but I don’t want to let Vee down, so I follow her to living room where she puts me on the couch as she goes to the kitchen. I haven’t stopped crying. I’m just on the couch with Kev and Vee’s throw blanket and Ian’s pillow.

Vee still talks to me while she in the kitchen, but I don’t really listen. I just, I just feel like I really fucked up. This is all my fault. Ian must be mad at me. Probably for taking up so much time.

Then the door opens.

“Ian?!” I shoot as I turn to see who is here. But it’s not Ian. It’s Kev. Disappointment sinks in my gut. But, I am also up and moving. Because Kev is here. I continue to cry and I quickly make my way to him, grabbing on to him and burying my head in his chest. His arms wrap around me. His check touching the top of me head.

“My poor boy. I’m so sorry he isn’t here right now. But I promise it will be ok.” He tells me as squeezes me tightly.

Somehow we end up on the couch, with the blanket around me and Kev. Ian’s pillow tucked under my chin as I pressed into Kevs side. Crying still, but more quietly. Then Vee is on my other side and the blanket is around all of us.

“Eat this.” Vee tells me, handing me a sandwich. But how can I eat? What if Ian is hungry? I don’t deserve this sandwich.

“Mickey, be a good boy and eat your sandwich.” Kev tells me as he takes a bite of his own.

Well fuck. I eat the sandwich. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.

Kev put on a Van Dam movie, Vee wraps her arm around me, holding me close, and Kev puts arm around the both of us.

When I finish my sandwich he and Vee tell me how good I am for listening. I seem to have a moment of relief from the stupid fucking tears, and then a questions pops into my mind. “Why are you home Kev? Shouldn’t you be at the bar?”

“I had to come take care of my kiddo!” He answers easily. But my heart sinks again. I feel like such a burden.

“No,” he says as he brings his hand over to pet through my hair. “Don’t start feeling down.”

I look up at him, wondering how he can tell.

“I can smell it.” He answers without me asking the question. “You’re me kid. You need me. Ian would be here too if he knew. Because you are good, and we all love you. I will talk to him about it when he gets back.”

Honestly I’m too tired to keep trying to talk. It feels better to have Vee with me, and especially to have Kev with me. I’m not stupid, I know it’s because, somehow, we have started a little weird fucking family. Vee isn’t my mom, but she feels nice and I know she cares, and Kev isn’t my alpha like Ian is, but he is more of a father than Terry ever was, and he cares about me more as a son than Terry did too.
So I let me self settle in. I tell myself it’s ok. And somehow my tears let up long enough for me to drift off back to sleep.
Of course I dream of Ian. At first it’s dreams of him being far away, not being able to reach him. But then he is there and I have him close to me, both of us holding on to each other.
Then it gets weird because I can hear Kev.

“You want to think ahead to what they will need. Like having the bath salts and speacial soap crap that I put in the bathroom for you guys. Make sure you get lots of food and water back in him. Regular heats leave any omega hungry and dehydrated,Mickey heats will be worse so he needs healthy food and electrolytes. And never, ever leave them before the scent is totally back to normal. Oh, and give them treats and praise like, like snickers for mic, he loves that. And tell him he is a good boy as often as you can!”

“I can’t believe I did this to him.” Ian says. Is that still a dream. What the fuck. “I feel so bad, Kev.”

“Well, it’s not like Frank would tell you kiddo. Don’t feel too bad. Live and learn and shit.”

I open my eyes, this isn’t a dream. Ian is here.

“Ian!” I whisper as I tighten the hold I already have on home. And he squeezes me back, tucking into me neck, kissing the bond mark.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

I don’t need to hear his apologies. He is here that’s all I care about.

We stay downstairs with Kev and Vee for awhile longer and eat more and drink some gross Gatorade. Then we go back to bed, to our nest. And I hold him as I sleep.

It’s the next day, at dinner time, that I finally feel well enough to go back outside. Well, we actually just go over to the Gallagher house for dinner. I finally get some of Fiona’s lasagna.

I can tell Fi isn’t very happy. One look at the mark on my neck could tell a person why. But she try’s not to show it too much. She just looked me in the eyes and said “What’s done is done. Welcome to the family asshole!”
I flip her off in response, which makes her laugh.

After dinner we sit in front or the tv. Liam by my side, Ian on my other. We have Moana on for
Liam. Definitely just because Liam likes it so much. I don’t mind it.

After awhile I notice Lip looking at me and smirking.

I raise my eyebrows, “the fuck?”

“Nothing,” he says turning back to the TV.

“Just say it.” I say at the same time Ian says, “Watch it Lip!”

“It’s nothing”, he says raising his hands in defense. “I was just thinking of Mr Sensitives breakdown at not having a red headed baby.”

He laughs at himself and I can hear other people laughing too.

“Fuck you.” I say.

“It was kind of funny.” Fiona says.

My face is red and scrunched up unhappily. Being laughed at never feels good.

I don’t want to say anything but then Lips looks back at me and rolls his eyes. Obviously thinking I’m being over serious. It’s a look I have received before, from Terry. And that’s what gets me.

“Ian is the most perfect person I know. He is smart, and kind and loyal and funny. He is beautiful inside and out.” I say to Lip, loud enough for who ever the fuck wants to hear it. “Someday, we will have a family. And fuck you if you don’t think I would want him to have the most perfect kid, a kid just like him! So ya, I want to have a kids with red hair and freckles and stupid prefect smiles. Why is that so fucking stupid, asshole?”

They are all quiet after that. Ian hooks his arm around me. And leans in to kiss out bond mark quickly.

They can all see it, that tiny moment of love that Ian shows. And I don’t care. I don’t care who sees it because I love Ian.

And then I get a little irritated, because I realize something, something important, and of course it comes from an interaction with Lip.

Loving Ian, showing that love, letting people know I care about him, letting people know I care about anything or anyone, showing emotions and kindness and love and just being my fucking self, being an omega, it doesn’t make me weak. It doesn’t make me a bitch. It just makes me a stronger Mickey fucking Milkovich. I use to feel like Terry broke all the good things in me, that there was no way to ever really have something good. But I have Ian and Kev and Vee, even these stupid fucking Gallaghers. And someday I’ll have more, Ian and I will have even more.

I feel that little piece of Ian that lives in my heart now, I feel how strong our bond is. And I know it is something that can’t ever be broken or taken from me, and it never could.
And I realize, that for the first time in my entire shit life I am happy.

Chapter Text

Something is wrong with Mickey. I know the wedding is stressful, and he gets anxious whenever he is away from Rosie for too long, but… he just broke a chair into a million pieces because it wasn’t the right color.
He is currently stomping ahead of me and I can feel the irritation between our bond.
His scent is all over the place, but it has been for days.
“Mickey, baby, walk with me.” I call out to him.
The thing with Mickey, is they no matter how mad he is, he never actually wants to be too far away from me. He tries to deny it, which is pretty cute, but it’s so easy to tell how much he likes being close to me.
I remember the first time I felt his contentment through the bond after I had comeback from a long ROTC practice. I liked it but it wasn’t too surprising, I had missed him too. Later that same night after family dinner and a show I used the bathroom, when I took my seat next to Mickey again I felt the same strong sense of contentment that I had when I had returned home. After that I realized he how that feeling came up from Mickey so often, wether we were apart for hours or seconds. I had known Mickey loved me, but until the bond I had known how happy I made him. I knew he was secretly a marshmallow but deep down it was so much better. So soft and sweet, it’s hard not to treat him like the marshmallow he is, but he doesn’t respond well to that, in public at least. He is still a Milkovich, as he has told me 5 million times.
Of course he stops for me. Crossing his arms and nose in the air and eyebrows to his forehead. Pissed. He is pissed.
“Baby”, I say when reach him,”I’m sorry I got the wrong color chair…”
“So, you admit that is was you.” he says sharply poking his pointer finger into my chest.
“They didn’t have the gold, I thought black would work fine.”
I watch as his hand curls into fist and snaps to his side. His cheeks turn pink and he takes a deep breath. Right when I think we have a repeat of the him hulking out on the wrong chair, he tips his head up and starts plinking rapidly. And I feel a sense of panic through the bond.
Holy shit. This is not normal. Mickey HATES crying. He does not cry in public! I do the only thing I can think of. I reach around and grip the back of his neck while wrapping my other arm around him, pulling him in and putting pressure on his glands. I try not to grip Mickey, like ever, with his history… it isn’t something he would like. But, when I feel him melt into me I know it was the right choice.
The side walk has a few people passing, the road isn’t too busy. We are close to our car but I’m not sure Mickey is ready to move. I feel my shirt gain a little moister and hear a little sniffle from Mic as lessen my grip and begin stroking through his hair.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me?” He whispers into my chest. “This is stupid as shit.”
“You aren’t.. well I know that.. I mean I’m not saying.. but could you… um…”
“Spit it out Red.”
Mickey has always had a way with words.
“You aren’t going into heat are you?”
He looks up at me, irritated, “I just had my heat. Do I smell like I am going into heat?” He says as he pushes me away and stomps to the cars.
If there is one thing I have learned in the past 10 years, it is to NOT as about heats even if Mickey is acting extra grumpy cat-ish, or if he gets snackie, or if he does anything else that my resemble preheat behavior at all.
But, his scent is, well just off.
“Mickey, hear me out.” I say as I get in the drivers seat, Mickey pouting beside me.
“I know you just had your heat, and you just gave birth 3 months ago. But, your scent is off a little…”
“Oh so you think I smell bad!” He snaps, his eyebrows to the roof.
“No, of course I don’t. But, maybe it could be hormone related?”
I wait for a hot head reaction. Instead, I Mickey lets out deep sigh and brings his hands up to run through his hair.
“I know, I know I’m off. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong but I don’t want to go a fucking doctor right now. Giving birth and having a million fucking hands all around my ass was enough for the next year!”

“I mean… you didn’t mind when we… ya know.” Because fuck, Mickey seemed like he was ready and willing but what if I was just being pushy.

He looks over to me, turning slightly pink. “You know I didn’t mean you. You can touch as much as you want. I just don’t want any other people near there for awhile.”

“Let’s get back to the house and ask Vee? Maybe she will know by scent if it’s worth going in to see someone?”

“I guess.” Mickey answers as he buckles his seat belt.

Driving around the South Side feels weirder than it should. Mickey and I always visit but in that last few years the Balls and any number of the Gallagher clan have come over to Virginia to see us. It’s makes sense. The house is big enough for guests, and it’s nice to get out of Southey for awhile.
Plus, Mickey’s golden retriever is a lot in the houses back home. Mickey always wanted a Pitt but when we saw baby Sammy for sale in a box outside the hardware store, well Mickey literally couldn’t put him down. That was 3 years ago, I had another tour coming up, and Mickey and I were waiting to have a family until I was done with active duty.
It’s funny how much life can change, with Mickey and Sammy and our beautiful little Rosie in our lives, family visiting every few months, Virginia really does feel like home. But, when it came time to get married, finally, Mickey insisted we come home to Southside.
And, besides the chairs and the older bitch florist who talked shit about Mickeys scent, it’s all been great. Vee, Mandy and Gallagher clan have helped so much before we got here. We have only been in town two days, but the wedding is set for a week out. And it should all go just fine. Even if we don’t have the gold chivaree chairs.
But, Mickey has been just a little.. off.

When we pull up to our street we see Kev outside the Ball house holding little Rosie. Mickey scent and our bond spikes with joy and I barely have stopped the car before he is out and headed their way. The only thing that stops him from reaching Kev and Rosie in two second is him being tackle hugged by Liam.

“Mickey!” I hear him shout as I get no recognition at all. I wonder who his favorite brother is…

After a good amount of time with the whole family playing outside and Rosie eating and going down for the night and all of us having a good dinner and catch up, Mickey and I are finally alone with Kev and Vee, back at the Ball house.
Kev and Mickey are going over the menu for the wedding reception and I take Vee aside in the kitchen.

“Why are you worried?” Vee asks.

“His scent is just a little off, and I don’t know, he is kind of all over the place with his emotions and…”

Vee puts her hand up to stop me. “Mickey baby” she calls out as she walks over the living room, “come here.” Vee holds out her arms for a hug. Mickey makes a face but stands for an embrace. Vee pulls him in and takes a big smell.

Mickey pulls back slightly, “Vee, what the hell?”

“Ian said you smell off, I don’t know, come back here.” She answers gesturing for him to return to her but he just lifts his eyebrows and looks over at me.

I’m slightly worried about an outburst but then Kev says, “He is pregnant, of course his scent is different!”

We all stair at Kev.

At the same time myself, Vee and Mickey say “I’m sorry what!” “IM PREGNANT!!!!!” “Didn’t you send the snickers?!?!?”

And then it’s a game of all of us staring at each other, mouths open. Except for Kev, who is smiling.

Finally I grab Mickey and pull him into a hug, my nose going to his neck, and sure as shit, now that Kev said it I can smell the sweetened scent of a pregnant omega. My pregnant omega. My pregnant omega who gave birth 3 months ago.

I want to panic but then I see Mickeys face. I haven’t seen him this happy since Rosie was not the way.

“Kev, I thought you sent the Snickers?!” I hear Vee saying.

“I did babe.”

“Ian, did you get the Snickers?!”

“What?” I answer, because we just found out that we are having a baby and Vee is worried about candy bars? “I’m sure we can go get dessert in a minute Vee..”

“No, you idiot, before Mickeys heat, FOR Mickeys heat, did you get the snickers?”

Vee’s face is comically serious. The balls have always sent a care package for Mickeys heats, usually full of snickers bars to snack on during the duration of the cycle. We didn’t get one this time though, but they also didn’t send one before we had Rosie.

“No.” I answer.

“Fuck.” Vee says just as Kev says “Told you we should have told Ian.”

“Shut up, Kev. Ian, did you give Mickey his birth control.”

“Of course he did,” Mickey answers, he is already rubbing his stomach and looking down smiling, “On the first day, same as always.”

“Told you.” Kev says again as Vee sighs heavily.

“Well fuck.”

“What is it Vee?” I ask, genuinely worried now.

“The birth control, the actual..”

“You mean REAL birth control”, Kev interrupts.

Vee shots him a pissed off glare and continues. “The birth control you give at the beginning is a placebo. The real birth control… well we put them in the snickers bars so that Mickey would be sure to take them.”

“What!!!” Mickey and I say at the same time.

Kev jumps in before Vee can start. “You were both so young with the first heat. Neither of you wanted a baby yet and you weren’t ready. And, Ian, you were so young. It was your first rut. That responsibility was too big. So we put the birth control in the snickers and it worked great. And well I guess it just continued to work. We have been meaning to tell you, both, but we wanted to do it in person, but it just hasn’t…”

Kev has to stop because Mickey is laughing so loudly. His joy spilling over in his scent and out bond.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, “but this is the funniest shit I have heard in so long.” And he falls back on the sofa clutching his stomach as he cracks up.

Vee, Kev and I look at him and each other and before I know it we are all laughing.

Sure Kev and Vee should have said something years ago, but fuck it, Mickey and I want more babies. I wish, for Mickeys health, we had a bigger break, but he is young and healthy, I’m sure he will be ok. Which leaves us only with the humor and the excitement of having another baby.

Soon all three of us are laughing and hugging each other. And the next day when we tell the Gallagher clan it’s Lip who cracks ups first, punching me in the arm and giving Mickey a hug. A hug that is returned. How the fuck those two have become friends is a mystery to me. But once lip stopped drinking he became less of a dick, which helped Mickey out a lot.

The wedding is on a Saturday morning. And it’s beautiful. Full of family and friends. And somehow, gold chivaree chairs.