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Fathers

Summary:

“Dick,” Jason said, very seriously, “Does Bruce know Damian is your son now?”

Dick sputtered, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Jay, where the did that come from?”

“You just called the brat a sugar snap and he didn’t even try to stab you.” Jason deadpanned. “Your fridge is literally covered in his art. He just went into yours and Wally’s room like a kid who threw up and wants cuddles.”

Dick huffed.

Or: 5 times someone realized that Damian was Wally and Dick’s son, and 1 time they made it known.

Notes:

I couldn't get the thought of this out of my head so ta-da! Birdflash as Damian's dads! Also the thought of Dick calling Damian a sugar snap is, like, 90% of the reason why this fic was written XD

Enjoy!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

1.

 

Barbara didn’t tend to go to school events. The last one she had gone to had been the Romeo and Juliet play that Jason had been in when he had been fourteen – she had filmed it, had watched it on the days when she had really missed the kid before he had come back from the dead.

She didn’t go to Tim’s mathlete competitions (“It’s not a big deal, Babs! Don’t worry about it.”) or the music recitals all the Bats had done. It wasn’t that she didn’t support her family – because she did – but she just didn’t enjoy the experience of getting stuffed into the shitty school auditorium and listening to words being spelt or math problems being solved or songs she’s already heard being played.

There was always something else to do – and unless whomever was participating in these events was truly proud of what they were doing, she never really bothered to tag along.

(She remembered how Jason had glowed with joy when she promised to come see his play, and she remembered how well he had acted. She hadn’t seen him grin like that since that night – and at times she wondered if she ever would see him like that again.)

Especially now, with Bruce gone, Tim running off to wherever it was he went to, and Dick playing Batman, Barbara found that she could never do enough. Steph becoming Batgirl had taken a huge load off Dick’s shoulders, even if he won’t admit it. Wally had been coming to Gotham more often, as well. Dick had kept the same no-meta rule as Bruce had, but Wally had always been the exception to all of Bruce’s rule – ever since Dick had gone by Robin and had attached himself to Wally’s hip.

But even so, Barbara didn’t go to school events. She hadn’t gone to the math tournament that Tim had participated in to save face a few weeks before he fled Gotham, and she hadn’t gone to any of the music recitals that Damian had been encouraged to do. Yet, here she was, at Gotham Academy for the first time in years, to see Damian’s art show.

“Babs,” Dick had said nights ago, a serious expression on his tired face, “He’s really proud of this piece. I’m sure it would mean the world to him if you came to see it.”

Barbara hadn’t been able to say no. There were many things that she should be doing that night – like working herself into the Batcave system, because damn Tim and Bruce were a mean pair when it came to making a system – but she found that none of it had really mattered. Damian was family, even if she didn’t know him all that well. And if seeing his paintings meant so much to him, even if he wouldn’t admit it, nothing was going to stop Barbara from seeing them.

The school is crowded when she, Alfred, and Steph arrive. Parents walked around with their excited children, gazing at the artwork set up neatly. It all seemed so normal, and Barbara thinks that’s a good thing. They could all use normal, now, and then.

“Guys!” Dick catches sight of them easily, waving with a grin.

Wally is by his side, which has become pretty much the usual these days, and Damian in standing in front of them. The boy was dressed nicely, in a sweater that Dick no doubt got him judging by the deep shade of orange it was, and his usually messy hair was combed neatly. Dick was practically beaming with pride and Wally was gazing at both the Wayne boys fondly.

“Tt, you didn’t have to join us.” Damian said, but Barbara could see the hint of pink on his cheekbones.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Barbara said honestly with a grin. “Show us your masterpiece, Damian!”

Damian scoffed but there was a softness around his eyes. “Very well, come with me.”

They stop to see the paintings along the way, Steph giggling over some of them, and Damian pointing out some of the techniques used to create them. Soon enough, they’re arriving at his paintings, and Barbra can’t quite stop the way her lips part in awe. The canvas to what was obviously his main piece was about as tall as Damian. It depicted a storm with a bird midflight in the center, lightning shining behind it. It was gorgeous, and Barbara knew she wasn’t the only to think so as Dick gasped by her side and Wally’s eyes grew wide.

“Very lovely, Master Damian,” Alfred said, a small smile on his face.

A robin with lightning around it? It was easy to see what had inspired Damian to paint this.

“Aww, my little sugar snap!” Dick practically cooed, “It’s beautiful! We have to hang it up at home.”

Wally nodded eagerly, “I think this is your best work yet, little dude!”

Damian clicked his tongue, ducking his head at their praise. His face was pink, and he muttered out a “You’re both embarrassments,” but didn’t fight against Wally ruffling his hair and Dick poking his nose.

Barbara was struck by the thought that they looked like fathers and son like that.

 

2.

 

It wasn’t often that Wally came home to Central and stayed long enough for them to have a family dinner. He’d been staying with Dick in Gotham daily for roughly three months now, and Barry’s pretty sure they’re going to tie the knot any day now. He certainly wouldn’t be surprised if Wally walked in that door with a ring on his finger and the news that he and Dick were finally going to get married – even if they’ve only been together officially for a few months.

“They’ve just been in love since they were kids, Iris, give me a break!” Barry complained good naturally as he set the table. He smiled fondly when he remembered how they had not so subtly dated when they had been sixteen, and stubbornly didn’t think of how it had broken Dick when Wally had been thought dead.

Iris laughed at him, shaking her head. “They’re going to take their time. You remember what it was like after Wally came back.”

Barry winced slightly at the reminder of the three years Wally had been lost to the speedforce. It had been a mess when he got back – it took him and Dick almost a year to talk out their feelings. They danced around dating for months even after confessing, and it had been cute at first, but now Barry just wants them to get married so he can call Dick his son-in-law officially.

“They practically live together, now.” Barry pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean they’re getting down onto one knee, yet.” Iris replied, “Now finish setting the table, Mr. Allen.”

Barry laughed and did as requested. By the time he is finished, the doorbell is ringing, and the food is being placed on the table. Iris makes her way to the door while Barry busies himself with going through the portions of take out. Cooking for two speedsters was honestly not worth the trouble – they tend to make other people deal with their large appetites.

“Wally!” He heard Iris say, sounding distinctly surprised. “And who might this little guy be?”

“This is Damian,” Wally replied. Barry frowned slightly, heard the door close and people shuffle inside. There is the distinct sound of a windbreaker being removed and then after another moment, three people make their way into the dining room.

“Uncle Barry!” Wally said excitedly, grinning widely. He placed his hand onto the shoulder of the boy standing by his side, “This is Damian. He’s benched for the week, so I brought him with me, hope that’s cool?”

“Of course,” Iris said, smiling. “You two will just have to share.” She teased, sending both speedsters a look.

The boy looked like he wasn’t sure what he should do, and Wally gently nudged him towards one of the chairs. Damian sat down stiffly; green eyes sharp as he looked around.

“So, you’re training to be a hero?” Barry breaks the silence.

Damian lets out a small scoff. “I am not training.” He said.

“He’s Robin,” Wally added, scooping a large helping of food – avoiding any of the meat options, Barry noticed, slightly confused. “Dick benched him after he sprained his wrist.”

“I could have easily gone on patrol,” Damian huffed.

“Yes, yes,” Wally said, grinning wide. He handed the plate to Damian, winking, before he started to serve himself. “How have you guys been?”

Iris started to talk about her newest story, and Barry listened attentively even though he’s already heard it several times that day. He can’t quite stop himself from dissecting each of Damian and Wally’s interactions as dinner goes on – Wally swiping at the food Damian got on his cheek, the proud looks Wally wears when Damian spoke of one of his achievements, or how the boy seems to preen under Wally’s affectionate words.

When they’re finished eating, Wally scoops up the dishes and Iris follows him. Barry can hear them continue to speak about his life in Gotham as they start to wash the dishes, and he turned to Damian.

“So,” Barry said, “How is it being Robin?”

Damian stared at him with an expression Barry can’t quite place. “It is good.” He replied, somewhat tersely. “Ba…tman is competent.”

And Barry’s met the kid – known him since he wore the Robin title – he knows Dick is competent. He’s wickedly smart and strong; a good leader and an even greater hero. Barry was one of the few that knew it wasn’t Bruce under that cowl anymore, and he remembered the way his heart had fallen into his chest when Batman had called him Uncle F by accident after a Justice League meeting.

“Yeah,” Barry said, “He is.”

Damian nodded firmly. He then proceeded to glare at the table.

“Uh…so you’re living with Wally and Dick, right?” Barry prodded. There was still something that stuck out to him, the way Damian and Wally interacted.

“Yes.” Damian said. He glared at Barry for a moment, somehow intimidating besides being no older than twelve. “They are attentive guardians. Very competent. Are we going to continue with the useless questions?”

Barry laughed a bit; yes, this was definitely Bruce’s kid.

“Hey, Kiddo!” Wally called, peaking his head out to stare at them, “Desert?”

“That would be excellent.” Damian replied, visibly perking up. His eyes shined and his fingers fidgeted together.

Wally laughed, a fond thing, and disappeared back into the kitchen. And, oh, Barry gets it now. He leaned back in his chair, smiling at the boy that was so clearly Wally’s son.

 

3.

 

Dick’s fridge is covered with pictures like he was some third-grade teacher hanging up his student’s work. It was easy to see it as Damian’s work – even Jason can admit that the kid was better at art than a third grader (hell, the kid was honestly good enough for someone to want to steal his sketches and sell then) though he’d never tell the kid that. Ever. – and it was oddly sweet to see Dick’s embarrassment of a fridge decorated. It was also really fucking weird. What was he trying to finally add some nice art to his house but only leave it at the fridge?

Jason stumbled his way over to Dick’s couch, grunting when he collapsed atop the cushions. His wound pulsed fire through his nerves and he grit his teeth as he adjusted his placement. Dick’s place was the closest, and if he made enough noise, his brother would eventually show up to stitch his side.

“What the – Jay?!” Dick sputtered from the hallway.

He had escrima in his hands and Jason could see Wally standing just behind him. Ugh, maybe he should have just stumbled to a safehouse and called Roy. His brother was going to make such a big deal out of this, even more than Roy and he was always so damn dramatic when Jason got injured.

“Sup, Dickface,” Jason said anyways, shaking the thoughts of Roy from his mind, “You think you could give me a hand?”

Dick was quick to order Wally to get the med kit while he moved over to Jason. Jason hissed as his armor was quickly removed and his stab wound was revealed. Dick looked like he wanted to scream – probably at Jason.

“Who did this?” He asked worriedly.

Jason waved a hand dismissively. Dick scowled at him.

“Alright, got it!” Wally called, bursting into the room.

“Slow for the fastest man alive.” Jason snarked.

“Well, if you can sass me, you can wait a few seconds.” Wally replied.

“What is with all the ruckus?” Damian questioned as he appeared behind Wally.

He was wearing baggy Flash themed pajamas, rubbing at one of his eyes. There was a stuffed animal Jason easy recognized as Dick’s from when he was a kid – Jason remembers, foggy and distant, how Dick would leave it in Jason’s room some days. It felt like a peace offering and Jason had always accepted it, had felt loved by his brother whenever he found that animal there, even when seconds prior he had bitterly thought that his hero hated him. Jason looked away before he could get caught in his thoughts.

“Hey, demon brat,” Jason said. He hissed slightly when Dick started to clean his wound.

“Todd,” Damian acknowledged.

He made his way over to the couch before plopping himself onto the loveseat off to the side. Jason’s pretty sure the brat’s supposed to be at the Manor – everyone has been staying there or stopping by daily since Bruce was retrieved from the time stream bullshit he’d been lost in. Even Jason made daily rounds at the Manor and he had an idiot best friend to swipe off his feet along with drug shipments to bust. – and the kid finally had the chance to get to know his dad. But here he was in Dick and Wally’s Gotham apartment.

Wally made his way over to the kid, running a hand through his messy black locks, and murmured something Jason couldn’t hear over Dick’s grumbling about stupid little brothers always worrying him. He supposed the grumbling was better than Roy’s worried floundering. Jason always hated worrying Roy.

“Tt, I am perfectly well.” Damian scoffed, “It is Todd who is bleeding all over our couch.”

Odd phrasing. Why would he call Dick’s couch “our” couch?

“Screw you, brat,” Jason huffed. He winced slightly as Dick started to stitch up his side.

“Knock it off,” Dick scolded them. “I’ve got this handled, you two can go to sleep. Early day tomorrow, remember.”

Wally looked between Jason and Dick before he nodded and shuffled Damian to stand. Dick sent them a fond smile, tilting his head back to accept the quick kiss Wally offered, before the speedster started to herd Damian back to the rooms.

“Night, Babe! Night, my little sugar snap!” Dick called after them.

Damian grumbled a reply before he disappeared around the corner. Silence quickly descended upon them, and Jason didn’t say anything to fill it, his thoughts whirling.

“Dick,” Jason said, very seriously, a few minutes later. “Does Bruce know Damian is your son now?”

Dick sputtered, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Jay, where the did that come from?”

“You just called the brat a sugar snap and he didn’t even try to stab you.” Jason deadpanned. “Your fridge is literally covered in his art. He just went into yours and Wally’s room like a kid who threw up and wants cuddles.”

Dick huffed. “Okay, your side is whole again. Stay here, I’ll grab you some clothes to sleep in.”

Jason let the subject drop, grumbled about how he didn’t want Dick’s ugly clothes, but woke up a few hours later to Wally, Dick, and Damian waiting for him to join them for breakfast. Jason started coming over weekly after that, no injury needed.

(And if he started to bring along Roy for their weekly brunches, he was only teased a little bit.)

 

4.

 

Tim stumbled into the kitchen with a muttered curse, sending a sharp glare at the corner of the wall he had run into. He rubbed at his blurry eyes, frowning as he fought at the headache that was blossoming.

“What day is it?” he bemoaned.

“Oh, Master Tim finally up.” He heard Alfred say with sarcasm in his voice.

“Did you even go to sleep, Baby Bird?” Dick asked, smiling at him in concern.

Tim waved his hand. He got a few hours. “Can I get a coffee? And did one of you take my glasses? My contacts need to be refilled.”

“You mean the glasses you leave everywhere?” Jason asked sarcastically. Tim squinted when he saw the bandages disappearing under the short sleeve of his shirt.

“Yes, those. You get stabbed by a D-listed villain?” Tim snipped back.

Jason flipped him off, Tim stuck his tongue out.

“You’re both useless,” Damian scoffed. Tim went to retort, only to pause when he saw Damian pointing at the edge of the counter where his glasses sat.

“Thanks,” Tim said, snatching up his frames and quickly shoving them onto his face. “I’ll be heading to the Tower today, if you guys need me.”

“I’ll inform Master Bruce,” Alfred replied as he set a coffee mug next to him. “Do have fun, Master Tim.”

Tim smiled, nodding his head. “Of course.”

Alfred sent him a small smile with a twinkle in his eyes before he left the kitchen to “go make sure Master Bruce didn’t sneak his way downstairs again”. Tim leaned against the counter, sipping at his beverage while scrolling through the notifications Kon and Bart had left.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see the day,” Jason said dramatically as he wiped an imaginary tear, “The Baby Bird is actually going to have fun?”

“I know how to have fun.” Tim said.

“I’m with Jay on this one,” Dick said apologetically.

Damian nodded shortly. “You are competent, but you do not do amusement.”

“I once snuck a second batmobile in the batarang budget and my friends and I crashed it,” Tim replied defensively. “For fun.”

“What?” Dick asked faintly.

“Oh my god,” Jason said gleefully, “B totally chewed you out! How long were you benched for?”

Tim hid his smirk behind his steaming mug, “Oh, but Jason,” he fluttered his eyelashes, “I didn’t do anything.”

Jason cackled. Damian squinted at him. “Father is unaware?”

“And he won’t believe any of you.” Tim said cheerfully, “I’m the perfect, honest child.”

“Evil!” Jason yelled.

“Tt, I don’t believe you.” Damian replied, “Father would see such a ruse.”

Tim shrugged his shoulders, looking back at his phone. He sent a few texts to his boyfriends while he sipped at his coffee and checked his emails. He planned to spend the whole weekend with Kon and Bart, but they insisted he took Friday off too, so now Tim was just waiting until the caffeine kicked in to take a Zeta tube to the Tower. And, he will admit, mornings with family were kind of nice.

“When are you leaving, Timmers?” Jason asked after shoveling a plate of eggs into his mouth. Damian wore a disgusted expression which Tim mirrored.

“Around eight, maybe?” he replied, glancing at the time, “So, soon. I’ll be gone until Monday.”

“Look at you, taking a break,” Jason said, “Tell the clone and the speedster that if you don’t come back in one piece, I’ll find a way to make it look like an accident.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tim muttered.

“Shoot, is it already close to eight?” Dick asked worriedly, peeking at his phone. “Dami, go get your things, I have to drop you off early today.”

Damian let out a small ‘tt’ but finished the fruit in his bowl before scampering off to gather his school supplies. Dick rubbed a hand through his hair with a soft sigh before he finished his coffee.

“What, no little sugar snap?” Jason asked teasingly.

“What?” Tim muttered.

“Dickie here calls Damian his precious little sugar snap.” Jason said gleefully.

Dick pouted, “He says I’m not allowed to call him a vegetable around you since you tease him.”

Jason practically giggled. “Fuck yeah I do.”

Dick smiled before he sent Jason a meaningful look. “Little Wing,” Dick said, “You think you could pick up Damian today? Alfred is the only one that can keep B from the Cave and we all know if he goes down there, he won’t come back up until next week.”

Jason waved his hand, “Nah, but I’ll text Cass to go get the brat.”

Dick nodded his head, “Yeah, thanks. You ready to go, Baby Bat?”

“Yes,” Damian said from the doorway, “I’ll drive.”

“Not so fast,” Dick laughed, bounding his way over to the boy, “You got your lunch? And your book report?”

“Yes, Richard,” Damian rolled his eyes, “Can we continue?”

“See ya, Jay! Have fun, Timmy!” Dick said cheerfully, waving to them with one hand, the other on Damian’s shoulder as he led him away.

Tim peeked down at his coffee, frowning. After a moment, Tim bid Jason goodbye and then scurried his way into the Cave. After punching in his Zeta code and the location he wanted, he appeared in the Tower.

“Babe, I must be sleep deprived,” Tim said upon seeing Bart, “I think Dick is Damian’s dad.”

Bart blinked at him once, twice, thrice, before he threw his head back and laughed. Kon looked bemused but smiled easily.

“That means nap time!” The super said as he easily picked Tim and Bart up and headed to their room.

 

5.

 

Bruce liked to spend time with his family. He knows he hadn’t been the greatest dad as of late – not since Jason died, a part of his mind taunts, and he steadily ignores it. He and Tim go out for lunch at least once a month with no talk of any work, Dick comes over to the Manor for days where they sit in the backyard or sometimes indulge in some gardening.

Bruce and Jason have started sitting in the library and read in silence, but they’re together and sometimes Jason will rest his head on Bruce’s shoulder and talk about whatever book he’s reading. Cass pulls him out for dinner and Steph does his and Duke’s nails whenever she gets the whim for it – which was now every Friday night. Bruce tends to spend more time with Damian than any of his other children, seeing as all the others are older and starting to get more independent (if they aren’t all ready) while Damian is only fourteen – almost fifteen – and still lives at the manor.

But despite this, Bruce feels that there is something he doesn’t quite understand about Damian. There are times when he stuttered over Dick or Wally’s name as though he was used to calling them something else, or how most of his art goes to his older brother and his boyfriend than anyone else. He noticed stolen moments between the three of them when they no doubt assumed no one was watching.

The way Dick and Wally exchanged proud looks over Damian’s head, the way Damian just…lit up upon seeing them. Damian always seemed so much lighter when either of them were around, more than he ever did with anyone else. Dick had front row seats and his camera out every time they went to one of Damian’s music recitals, Wally would ruffle his hair and say, “you did great, little dude!” and Damian would preen and lean into their affection.

Bruce was gone for over a year, and in that time, Dick was all Damian really had. Dick had been Damian’s Batman, he had been the one to teach Damian more than just restraint in combat, he had been the one to raise the boy in those hard times. And, Bruce thought, Dick had never really stopped raising him.

Damian stayed with Dick and Wally three days of the week. Dick was taking him to school nearly every morning and Wally was picking him up and returning to the Manor with ice cream cones in their hands. Bruce has caught them tucking Damian in at night more times than he could count.

Bruce has known for a long time now that Damian wasn’t just his son. Wally and Dick – even if they might not even know it – were father figures to Damian as well. And while it had stung for a long while, Bruce understands. He had been gone and Dick had stepped up, had cared, and loved Damian in the way he needed.

And Bruce couldn’t be mad about that.

“Dick,” Bruce said when everyone started to trickle out of the Cave after a long patrol. Dick, with tired eyes and already dressed in his pajamas, paused, and looked over to him with a questioning tilt of his head. “A word?”

“Yeah,” Dick frowned at him slightly, “What’s up, B?”

“I wanted to go over something with you,” Bruce said, handing over a file he’s had for months. He’s always backed out at the last second, but he refused to do so now.

Dick relaxed, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn’t looking, and tucked the folder back to read its contents. His eyes widened and his shoulders tensed after he scanned the first few lines.

“Uh, B?” Dick questioned. “What’s this?”

“A schedule.” Bruce answered stiffly, “I know you and Wally are planning to head back to Bludhaven full time soon.”

Dick blinked at him, and Bruce could practically see the clogs turning in his head. “Bruce, this is a schedule for us swapping days with Damian.”

“Yes,” Bruce nodded. He resisted the urge to fidget because he did not fidget, thank you very much. “I don’t want Damian to be separated from his fathers.”

Dick took a step back, his jaw dropping. He stared at Bruce with a look of utter panic. “Oh my God, Bruce I’m so sorry.” Dick stammered, “I never intended to – you know I wouldn’t – it was just, you were gone and I…”

Bruce frowned at him. “Dick.” He said. “Calm down. I’m not angry with you.”

“Uh, okay,” Dick said, bemused.

“I understand that people can have more than one father.” Bruce raised an eyebrow. “You were there for him when I couldn’t be, he loves you, and he looks up to you. I’m…glad you had each other.”

Dick gaped at him. Bruce huffed. Where was Jason when you needed him? He’d handle this situation way better – actually, he’d make a better distraction for Bruce to flee and he couldn’t do that now.

“Dick, you are my son and I love you.” Bruce placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, “And it’s okay if you think of Damian as your son as well.”

Dick sniffled and launched forward to pull Bruce into a hug. It was quiet for a few moments before, “B, did you seriously make a co-parenting schedule for us?”

Bruce laughed.

 

+1

 

Dick shifted in his seat, unable to make himself sit still with all the excitement that was coursing through his veins. Wally smiled at him goofily, hand squeezing his under the table. Dick felt like they were teenagers again, young and crushing on each other but wanting to hide it from everyone else. Sneakily holding hands under the table, playing footsies when no one was paying attention, sharing quick kisses in shadowed corners. It was still exhilarating, the fact that they could be a couple in front of people even after all this time.

As if reading his thoughts, Wally leaned over to kiss his cheekbone and Dick melted against him with a sound that could only be explained as a giggle. He tilted his head just enough for them to share a chaste kiss and Wally’s smile somehow grew.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Jason snapped from across the table.

“Yeah, you guys are like even more in love today than usual,” Steph commented, a grimace on her face.

“That’s because Baba proposed today.” Damian commented idly.

“I’m sorry did you say Baba-”

“Did Damian just-”

“Proposed?!”

“What the fuck?”

“I think I had too much coffee today.”

“Ah, I see,” Bruce said. A smile stretched his lips and his eyes twinkled with pride. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, B!” Dick said cheerfully. “Wally got me a ring too!”

“You just asked before I could,” Wally said with a small huff.

“You can put my ring on first at the wedding.” Dick said dreamily.

Wally’s smile was lovesick.

“I demand to be your best man.” Damian said.

“No can do, little man,” Wally grinned widely, “You’re going to give us our rings. We already talked about it.”

Damian visibly perked up. “That is adequate, Dad.”

“DID HE JUST-”

“Alfred, did you drug my coffee again?”

“THE DEMON BRAT JUST CALLED WALLY DAD, WHAT THE FUCK.”

“This family is so weird…”

“You’ll get used to it, Duke,” Dick assured.

“We’re going to have a summer wedding!” Wally said cheerfully.

“I demand to keep the doves.” Damian replied. “You must have doves.”

“Anything you want, my little sugar snap.” Dick said fondly. “You’ll have to keep them here, your room at Blud isn’t big enough.”

Damian nodded firmly. “Father, may I keep the doves from Baba and Dad’s wedding?”

“Of course, chum.” Bruce said.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?”

Notes:

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