Chapter Text
ONE YEAR LATER
Bucky wakes up by himself, for once. The peaceful quiet of the house mixed with the sound of the ocean in the back coming to him. He slept so well, he doesn't even remember any nightmare or dream he might've had last night. It feels surprising, but good.
He mechanically reaches out next to him, but finds only an empty space in the bed. A familiar fear creeping up on him, he gets off the bed, opens the curtains and looks outside the window. Steve is sitting in the sand, on the edge of the water, down the house, enjoying the late April morning sun. Bucky sighs, letting his fear slowly evaporate.
He puts on a t-shirt and a sports short, grabs two mugs in the kitchen, and turns the coffee maker on, his eyes on Steve through the window.
Steve was spending a lot of time on the beach recently. Seemed to like it a lot more than he used to. Coming here was a good idea.
The past year had been so hard on them. On everyone, really.
It took months of government interrogations, mental health assessments, a long private trial, a meeting with the President for Bucky, but also a lot of nightmares and emotional breakdowns, but Steve had finally been found non-guilty, pardoned and exonerated for his crimes as the Winter Soldier.
He was now under the strict supervision of the Avengers Organization, with Bucky as his “handler”. (They hated that title)
Once freed from his cell, Steve moved in Bucky's private apartment in the Tower. Not ready to face the world, just yet. But, even with all the comfort living in the Tower brought, and Bucky by his side, to not have orders, or a mission to complete, had been hard on Steve.
Not knowing what to do with himself, besides going to his mandatory therapy appointments or spending time with Bucky, Steve had felt like he was just in a fancier, comfier prison. Depression had hit him hard. Sleeping a lot, not talking to anyone, barely eating, and lashing out daily at Bucky or Sam when they tried to help him.
Bucky had been a real mess too because of it, but he never quit. Letting Steve scream at him when he was mad, and squeezing him against his chest when Steve woke up in screams and tears from night terrors. Telling him everyday that he loved him, that Steve deserved him and his love, that he wasn't going anywhere.
Slowly reconnecting with his art, his history, the decades of music and film he missed and, most importantly, with Bucky, through therapy and mostly sex, had helped him a lot.
All the Avengers had helped too, in some way or another. Bucky was so grateful to them.
Barton by keeping an eye on Hydra activities and keeping Bucky posted on it.
Natasha and Sam by monitoring and fact checking every government interview Steve went through, and overall being very good friends and moral supporters to Bucky.
Bruce by helping them understand how to deprogram everything Hydra had drilled inside Steve's mind.
Even Thor, who was staying for a while on Earth to be with Jane, had brought them Asgardian alcohol and his candor for one night to remember.
Tony, especially, had really helped Steve to move forward. It took him at least six months, but he eventually came forward to talk, alone with Steve. He let Steve apologize for the death of his parents, and eventually told him they were good.
He also decrypted an insane amount of Hydra files with JARVIS concerning Steve's programming. More specifically the submission through key words, once Bucky and Steve had had the courage to talk about it in therapy.
With the help of Bruce and a bunch of specialists, they'd managed to find a way, not to completely free Steve from the programming, but to, at least, replace the subconscious association of the words with comfort and free will, instead of pain and obedience.
It had been a lot harder to achieve than Bucky thought, especially when Steve had reversed back into the Winter Soldier mindset on the first few tries. But it eventually worked. Both Steve and Bucky had needed a lot of rest after that.
Which led them here, in that house JARVIS had found for them south of New York, in a little beach town, away from the noise and media pressure of the city.
The coffee has been ready for a couple of minutes when Bucky finally reconnects with reality. He fills the two mugs and goes outside to join Steve.
“Morning, handsome”, says Bucky, sitting next to Steve and giving him his mug.
“Hi. Thanks”, smiles Steve, his blue eyes staring at Bucky with love.
“Sleep alright?” Bucky asks gently before taking a sip of his coffee.
Steve shrugs.
“The usual. Couldn't sleep past six.”
Bucky lowers his mug and put a hand on Steve's lap.
“Why didn't you wake me? You know I don't mind an early wake up call”, he adds with a wink.
Steve chuckles and intertwines his fingers with Bucky's.
“Yeah, I know. But you were sleeping so deeply for once, I didn't want to disturb you. It's okay, I went for a run instead, to clear my head.”
Bucky nods, starring at Steve, still. He couldn't help but worry about him, always did, always will.
“I'm okay, Buck, I promise.” Steve insists before giving him a quick kiss.
“Alright.”
Steve smiles, takes a big sip of his coffee, and closes his eyes in a comforting sigh.
Bucky can't stop staring at him, though. The beauty of him in the sun still making Bucky fall for Steve all over again. His now short, blonde hair shining in the sun and his scarred skin eagerly taking in the warmth he missed for decades. His hand holding Bucky like it was meant to do.
“You're staring again”, says Steve, his eyes still closed.
“No, I'm not”, blushes Bucky, sipping his coffee.
Steve looks at Bucky, not convinced, and chuckles. Bucky shrugs.
“Well, I'm sorry for being amazed by the annoyingly beautiful punk that you are. Can't help it. Won't help it. That's just the way it is.”
Steve smiles, getting closer to Bucky, the warm metal of his left hand sneaking under Bucky's shirt.
“You take the words right out of my mouth”, says Steve before kissing him gently.
Bucky shivers and kisses him back, slowly laying down on the sand to let Steve crawl over him. They kiss more and more passionately, Bucky wrapping his arms and legs around Steve to feel all of him over his body. Steve hungrily gets down from Bucky's lips to his neck, burning his lover's skin with his fiery kisses, until they decide to move it to the bedroom.
The sun is high in the sky when they both get out of the supposedly quick after sex shower they just spent at kissing, shaving and giving each other pleasure. To see Steve freshly shaved and with his blonde hair really brings Bucky back. It makes him feel like he's found the Steve Rogers of his youth again.
Steve seems a bit shaken by that vision, too. Bucky gently sneaks behind him while he's staring at himself in the mirror, rests his chin on the metal shoulder and locks his arms around Steve's waist.
“You okay, Stevie?”
Steve shakes his head to reconnect with reality, holds Bucky's arms against him to ground himself, and looks at Bucky in the mirror.
“Yeah, I'm here. It's just...”
Bucky let him find his words, rubbing his thumbs against Steve's skin.
“I think I remember the first time I saw myself in a mirror in... this body. At least how it was, before all of … this”, he adds, looking at his present body with sadness and self consciousness.
“How did it feel?”
“Ridiculous, extraordinary, satisfying. I think I liked it.”
“You and me both”, chuckles Bucky before kissing Steve's shoulders from the left to the right.
When he's done, Steve is still looking at his scarred torso and metal arm with disgust.
“Hey, look at me” Bucky says, turning Steve around to put his hands on his chest. “I know what you must think of your body right now. And I think I understand how it feels. I felt the same way about those for a long time.” He adds, showing his burned skin from the Hydra gun explosion, right before Steve fell from the train. “After you- after that gun exploded, I was hating myself for what happened, but I also started hating those scars, because... I didn't need another reminder of the fact that you were gone. Yet, it was engraved in my skin.”
Steve looks at him sadly, cupping Bucky's face with his human hand.
“I've hated it until quite recently, but now, I think I see it more as a piece of our story. And as a proof that we're still here, together, despite all the shit we had to go through. All those scars,” Bucky says, caressing Steve's uneven skin. “Are the proof of the awful things they did to you, yes, and I think it's important for you to acknowledge that, but they're also proof of your bravery, your resilience, your strength. You need to learn how to reclaim those as your own, so you can accept them, and maybe, one day, love them. I know I do.”
Steve has tears in his eyes when Bucky grabs his metal hand and kiss its knuckles to prove his point.
“I love all of you. Not just your sexy ass.”
Emotional, Steve let out a sad laugh.
“I love you so much”, he says with a broken voice before grabbing Bucky's face with both hands and kissing him with passion.
Bucky kisses him back before wiping Steve's tears with his thumb, a loving gaze upon him.
“And don't get me started on the usefulness of those fingers.”
“Bucky!” Laughs Steve, blushing uncontrollably.
Bucky snickers when both their stomachs starts complaining at the same time. Bucky raises an eyebrow.
“Pancakes?”
“Yes, please.”
Food is another thing that had been difficult for Steve to re-learn. How to feed himself without asking for permission, or having someone else remind him that he needs to eat. He was getting better at it, but it wasn't always easy.
On good days, Steve usually had no problem getting himself a drink or even a snack when he felt like it.
On less better days, Steve often needed a reminder that he needed sustenance, which Bucky always did with love and patience.
On very bad days (and there had been a lot!), food was the least of Steve's problems. So Bucky had learned not to insist, and how to pinpoint the right time to offer Steve, at least, something to drink.
Bucky had never been much of a cook, so they tried to learn, together. Breakfast food quickly became a favorite for Steve, alongside everything strawberry related. So Bucky always made sure they had a decent stock of those on hand, just in case.
They're both stuffing their faces off with their breakfast, sat next to each other on the kitchen island, when someone knocks on the front door.
Steve can't help but tense for a second, even if they both know who it is. The light but firm knocks being the biggest clue. Bucky squeeze Steve's metal hand and gives him a wink before opening the door to flamboyant red hair and deep green eyes.
“Hi, Nat.”
“James.”
“You okay? What brings you here?”
“Just checking in with my favorite granddads”, she smirks before lifting an Avenger file and adding: “Also, we've got to talk.”
Bucky's smile fades a little. Her saying that never meant anything good. He invites her in and follows her to the living room where Steve is already waiting for them. Arms crossed above his chest, he nods politely at Natasha.
“Agent Romanoff.”
“Captain Rogers.”
Bucky faces Nat, next to Steve.
“What's going on?”
She answers by giving him the file. Bucky opens it to find a picture of Loki's scepter. The last time Bucky laid eyes on that demonic thing, they were handling it to Rumlow's STRIKE team, right after the attack on New York. The Avengers, and more particularly Thor, had been looking for it ever since SHIELD had fallen.
Feeling Steve tense next to him, Bucky looks up from the file.
“You found it?”
“Coulson did, with his team.”
Bucky frowns.
“Coulson? But he's-”
“Dead? Apparently not. Alive and kicking. Seems to be a thing nowadays”, jokes Nat, her green eyes looking at Steve.
But Steve doesn't take the jock.
“Where?” He asks as Bucky keeps reading the file.
“Sokovia.”
“Hydra?”
“Obviously.”
Bucky frowns over the satellite images of the literal fortress Hydra is hiding in, his usual hate for them creeping up on him.
“This place looks huge. Who's in on this?”
“Everyone.”
“Even Bruce?”
“Yup. Him, Clint and Sam are already on their way to New York, and Stark texted me saying Thor arrived at the Tower ten minutes ago.”
Bucky and Steve look at each other, knowing damn well what the other is already thinking. Before Bucky can say anything, Steve turns to Natasha.
“Can I come?”
By asking that, Bucky and Nat both know Steve is really asking about Tony. Nat gives him a smirk.
“Tony's okay with you coming along. As long as you feel ready for it.”
Steve takes a breath and thinks for a bit, before turning his deep blue eyes to Bucky, decided. Bucky takes his hand.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I'm in.”
Bucky smiles and turns to Natasha.
“Let's kick some Hydra ass, then.”
THE END