Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She padded down the dark hallway toward his room, the butterflies in her stomach slowly moving to her chest. The prospect of being face-to-face with him alone, so late at night only further threatened her resolve -- but it was almost midnight, dammit, and she just wanted to sleep .

Arriving at his door, she paused for a moment, wondering why, with his animal hearing, he had to blast his music. Out in the hall, she could hear American Idiot by Green Day as clearly as if she was standing right next to Beast Boy’s speakers. Since the two shared a bedroom wall, she had been struggling to fall asleep since about 10.

She raised a pale hand and rapped on the changeling's door, a little harder than usual to ensure he heard.

The music lowered and Raven heard a shuffling from inside. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before saying a silent prayer that he would actually be wearing a shirt.

A few seconds passed before the door slid open, revealing the green Titan in black boxers and an old Spiderman t-shirt.

“Hey, Rae!” he said, smiling so widely that his bottom fang poked out.

For a beat, all she could do was stare, completely forgetting why she had knocked on his door in the first place. Raven didn’t think she’d ever get used to having to look up at him, but he was now at least half a foot taller than her. He had also filled out quite nicely over the years, which meant that the old Spiderman t-shirt he was currently sporting was a bit … snug.

After receiving no answer, Beast Boy lowered his face until it was inches away from hers and raised his eyebrows.

“You sleepwalking or something?” he asked before lightly flicking her nose.

Jolted back to her senses, Raven quickly shoved him away and scowled, hoping the dark hallway hid the red she was sure was overtaking her face. They were 20 years old now and he still did things like that .

“Listen, Beast Boy, I love Billie Joe Armstrong as much as the next person but it’s late. So could you please, for the love of Azar, keep it down?” Raven said, glaring at him.

Beast Boy looked slightly surprised and glanced down at his cellphone, running a hand through his unruly green hair.

“Oh, dude, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was so late,” he smiled at her apologetically. “I just unlocked terraforming in Animal Crossing and I guess I got a little carried away.”

Keeping her face blank, Raven hummed in response and, feeling her message had been received, she turned to leave.

“Wait!” Beast Boy said a little too loudly, throwing a hand out to stop her.

Raven turned back to look at him, a single eyebrow arched.

Beast Boy grinned sheepishly, and used the outstretched hand to reach back and scratch his neck.

“Did you… I mean, before -- did you say you love Billie Joe Armstrong? Like, as in Green Day?” he asked. There was a sudden nervousness about him that Raven couldn’t explain.

She shifted until her whole body was facing him and looked Beast Boy square in the face.

“You expect me to listen to Basket Case and not feel seen?” Raven said in a perfect monotone.

Beast Boy blinked at her and then laughed, looking like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Dude, yes, I love that song!” He then began gesticulating wildly. “Oh man, we should go to a karaoke bar or something sometime and--”

“Beast Boy,” Raven quietly interrupted.

He hummed, looking down at her, elven ears happily perked up.

“As much as I would love to continue this conversation, I am exhausted,” Raven said.

“Oh, right,” Beast Boy said, ears sagging. “Sorry.”

Raven felt her heart ache seeing his disappointment and her hands tingled with the need to reach out for him.

No no no no no no, she thought. Have some self control.

Instead, she offered him a smile -- albeit a small one.

“Good night, Beast Boy,” Raven said. “And please keep it down.”

Beast Boy chuckled and Raven felt the butterfly swarm move into her throat, like they were trying to choke her out of spite for not giving into temptation.

“‘Night, Rae Rae.”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t correct him.

Walking back to her room, Raven almost felt like she was floating. She even looked down a few times to make sure she wasn’t. Raven knew it was only these interactions with Beast Boy that made her feel so -- giddy? Was that the right emotion?

Once her door was closed, she leaned her back against it, allowing the feeling of cool steel to ground her. Raven put her head back, covered her face with her hands and groaned.

Why did he have to be wearing that shirt? And such short boxers! He might as well have been wearing nothing!

She allowed herself to slide down the door until she was sitting on the floor and rested her elbows on her knees, face still covered.

What was she going to do?

She knew she had feelings for him, and had known for a long time. There was absolutely no point in denying that.

However, if you asked her when exactly those feelings began, she wouldn’t be able to give a definitive answer. Rather than some cliche eyes-meeting-from-across-the-room love-at-first-sight struck-by-cupid’s-arrow bullshit, they snuck up on her like a stalker on a dark city street, Raven noticing the interloper much too late, the ether-soaked rag already covering her face and her body being dragged into a grimy side alley.

The day Raven finally realized how she felt was actually about a year ago. She and Beast Boy had been bickering over the pile of dirty dishes that he had left in the sink -- again -- that was preventing her from being able to fill her kettle. Beast Boy had been on lap 25 of a 50-lap Mario Kart mega-race extravaganza against Cyborg and Nightwing and insisted that Raven could have the dishes done “in like 5 minutes” by using her powers. He had then torn his gaze away from the TV screen long enough to wink at her before flashing a cheeky grin.

“ I didn’t use them so I am not using up my energy to clean them so you can just sit around and play games all day,” Raven had snapped.

“Oh, c’mooon, Rae Rae,” Beast Boy had whined. “Do it for me? Pleeease?”

This time he shot her a look with his impossibly green puppy-dog eyes, bottom lip stuck out in a pout.

“It’s Raven and I am not your maid ,” Raven seethed.

“‘Course you’re not, Rae Rae, or I woulda got you one of those little French maid outfits a long time ago,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Before she could stop herself, Raven had smacked Beast Boy on the back of the head, causing it to rock forward. Caught off guard, he let out a squeak of surprise and dropped his controller, which Nightwing promptly kicked across the room. Beast Boy’s racer, Boo, went flying off the edge of Rainbow Road, leaving the changeling in last place.

“You deserved that, grass stain,” Cyborg chuckled, fist-bumping Nightwing.

Beast Boy glared at the two boys and, rubbing the back of his head, got up to retrieve his controller.

Meanwhile, Raven had turned her attention toward Starfire who, snuggled up beside Nightwing, had been giggling throughout the entire ordeal. Following the smack, tears of mirth had begun streaming down the alien’s face.

“Star?” Raven had said flatly.

“Oh, I am sorry Friend Raven,” Starfire had said through fits of giggles. “It is just that you and Friend Beast Boy sound like a married couple.”

Raven blanched, opening her mouth to say something before closing it again, struck dumb. She glanced over at Beast Boy, who had frozen in the middle of picking up his controller. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Cyborg and Nightwing glancing at each other, smirks on their faces.

Before Raven could recover, Beast Boy had straightened up, controller in hand and was making his way back to the couch.

“Heh, good one, Star,” he said, avoiding Raven’s gaze. “Um, sorry, Raven, I’ll get the dishes done as soon as this race is over if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Raven said, the word coming out clipped. She had grabbed her latest novel and quickly headed out to the balcony off the living room. Once reclined on a lounger situated under an umbrella, Raven gazed out at Jump City across the bay.

You and Friend Beast Boy sound like a married couple.

Usually when people made comments like that, Raven felt irritated. Couldn't two people be friends or roommates without someone trying to make it out to be more than what it was? But this time, what Starfire said had left Raven feeling …different.

Raven just couldn’t put her finger on it. She spent the next half hour in silent contemplation, her novel forgotten beside her chair.

Then, like being thrown in a cold pool on a scorching summer’s day, it hit her.

She had felt pleased. Flattered, even, that Starfire had equated her and Beast Boy’s argument to that of a deeply committed couple.

Raven had felt her face begin to burn and instinctively reached back to pull up the hood of her cloak but remembered that she had left it in her room due to the late-June heat.

And that comment he had made about the little French maid outfit -- that had just been to piss her off …right? He didn’t actually want to see her in something like that, did he?

No, Raven told herself, he said things like that to every pretty woman he came across. Well, except for Starfire because, in his own words, he valued “his bones being on the inside of his body.”

In that case, he had to at least think she was pretty then, right?

Raven shook herself and quickly got up from the lounger, grabbed her book and went inside. She passed Cyborg, Nightwing and Starfire playing Mario Kart in the living room. Star had evidently taken Beast Boy’s spot since Raven heard dishes clinking and running water coming from the kitchen.

She had spent the rest of that day in her room meditating, floating in her lotus-style position above her bed, trying to nail down exactly how she felt about the green Titan.

It was when the others had sent the changeling to get her for dinner -- purely for their own amusement, she was sure -- and she was greeted by his stupid, adorable grinning face at her door that she had to accept the fact that she had a crush on him. She had resisted the urge to throw herself out of her bedroom window and followed Beast Boy to the common area.

Raven spent most of the next day again in her room, floating above her bed and meditating. This time, however, she was going through her memories, trying to pinpoint when these feelings for Beast Boy had first taken hold.

Was it when Terra joined the team? Raven had never genuinely liked her, regardless of Beast Boy, but looking back, she felt a tinge of jealousy. But had it been there at the time, or was it just there in hindsight?

Was it when he had been the one to comfort her following Malchior’s betrayal? That had certainly been unexpected and he had been so …kind. Sincere. Gentle.

Thinking of Malchior brought an icy stab of pain through Raven’s chest and she winced.

That fucking asshole; Beast Boy would never -- wait, stop. That piece of shit doesn’t deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as Beast Boy. They are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

That thought was oddly comforting to Raven and she unknowingly floated a little higher over her bed.

Was it when he had hugged her after their defeat of Trigon? He had held her quite tightly and quite a bit longer than she normally would have allowed.

That thought sent butterflies flying through her stomach. That had been years ago and he had grown since then, filled out considerably, gotten stronger. She wondered how tightly he could hold her now, what it would feel like to be wrapped in those strong arms…

Focus, focus, focus.

But she couldn’t. No matter what memory she pulled, she couldn’t be certain if that had been the moment. She thought that perhaps the feelings had always been there, in a way, and they were all like a snowball rolling down a hill, getting bigger until it finally came to rest precariously on a steep hillside, waiting for the moment Starfire’s giggling comment set it off like an avalanche.

However, just because she had accepted the fact that she had a crush on the changeling didn’t mean that she was going to act on it. Nope, she planned on keeping that little morsel of information to herself.

But avalanches are kind of hard to ignore, she realized. Everywhere she turned were complete whiteout conditions, and she felt herself slowly becoming buried under the weight of it all.

And so she sat, back pressed against the cold steel of her bedroom door in the middle of the night, wondering just what the everloving hell her emotions had gotten her into.

With her father defeated for several years now, Raven had come to accept and even embrace the changes the victory had brought her.

The biggest, and admittedly the hardest to get used to, was that she could be more free with her emotions. Yes, they were still tied to her powers, but not as closely as they had once been. Therefore, she could openly laugh and cry, be angry or excited without something exploding. She just had to be more cautious around more intense emotions like rage and depression.

She still wasn’t known as the most expressive Titan, but old habits die hard and she was trying.

So, it isn’t necessarily that she doesn’t feel emotion -- she always had, but was forced to squash them down to protect those around her -- it’s that now that she is able to fully embrace her emotions, she doesn't know how to go about it. She never had the opportunity to learn, so now she just felt lost.

Removing her hands from her face, Raven stared at the blades of her ceiling fan as they lazily spun in circles.

Does she want a relationship with Beast Boy?

Yes, came the quick reply from a voice in the back of her mind. A warm feeling filled her chest and she knew the voice was right. Deep down, that was what she wanted.

How was she supposed to make that happen?

She sighed and closed her eyes again. Therein lay the issue. She had no idea. She was completely out of her depth. Someone might as well ask her how to hold a Catholic mass.

And if she continued to keep this little morsel of information to herself? What then?

Raven furrowed her brows, a feeling of disappointment overcoming her. She imagined Beast Boy meeting someone else, bringing them to the tower to meet the team, having to greet her warmly, make her feel accepted, watch her make him happy, all the while knowing she missed her chance.

The very idea shattered her. She couldn’t let that happen. If she could be the one to make him happy then, why not? That is, if he even felt that way about her…

Anxiety gripped Raven’s heart. She knew she wasn’t exactly his type. He always seemed to go after tall, tan women with long blonde hair and bubbly personalities that laughed at all his corny jokes. Or, in other words, the exact opposite of her.

Raven stood and, walking toward her bed, caught a glimpse of herself in her vanity mirror. She was petite, standing little taller than 5’2”, with shoulder-length purple hair. Her skin was so pale as to almost be luminescent in the moonlight streaming through her window.

She never laughed at his jokes and knew she was the last person anyone would describe as ‘bubbly.’

Yeah, Beast Boy would totally go for her.

She sighed again, feeling dejected, and crawled into bed. None of it changed the fact that she wanted him and she highly doubted she would stop wanting him anytime soon.

Maybe she should ask for help? Since Trigon’s defeat, Raven had been more open about leaning on her teammates when she needed support. But who would she ask?

She closed her eyes and thought.

Nightwing was obviously out with the way he nearly fumbled Starfire.

Starfire was also out because, as much as Raven loved her, she wasn’t known for her subtlety. And if Raven wanted anything in regards to what she had dubbed Operation: Bag Beast Boy, it was subtlety.

That left…

Cyborg.

Also known as Beast Boy’s best friend Cyborg.

Raven scrunched up her face. Maybe she could just post to the subreddit r/relationshipadvice?

How can I (20F), an emotionally-stunted half demon, woo my roommate/teammate/longtime friend (20M)?

…no, she’d definitely have to find a way to approach Cyborg. Sure, he was Beast Boy’s best friend, but he was also her older brother, so Raven was positive he’d help her out anyway he could.

Besides, Cyborg’s being so close to Beast Boy could only help things, Raven reassured herself.

With her mind finally made up, Raven wriggled further down into her blankets and went to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Raven sat at the kitchen table with Starfire, slowly sipping a fresh cup of tea. The pair were waiting for Cyborg to finish adding to the large stack of waffles on the kitchen island and fry the last few pieces of bacon, the savory smell filling the entire common area.

There was a hiss as the door to the hallway opened and Beast Boy entered wearing gym attire. He pointed an accusatory finger at Cyborg and squinted.

“ Murderer ,” he whispered.

Raven hid her smile by taking another sip of tea.

“Oh, shut up and come get yo fake ass bacon and eggs,” Cyborg said. He opened the oven and pulled out the plate he had been keeping warm for the changeling.

Beast Boy's expression instantly turned from one of mock disdain to one of appreciation.

"Hey, thanks!" he said brightly, taking the plate and walking to the table.

He immediately slid into the seat next to Raven. Smiling at her, he glanced at Starfire and tipped an imaginary cap.

“ Ladies ,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. Raven rolled her eyes while Starfire giggled.

Cyborg shook his head and slid the last pieces of real bacon out of his cast iron skillet. He grabbed the platter and tower of waffles and walked to the table.

When he sat, Beast Boy began eating as the others loaded their plates.

“So,” Beast Boy broke the silence, looking at Cyborg. “What’s the final guest list for the party tomorrow?”

“Lemme check,” Cyborg said, tapping a panel on his mechanical arm. “I know a few last-minute RSVPs came in last night.”

Beast Boy nodded, shoving an entire strip of tofu bacon into his mouth.

“Okay,” Cyborg said. “Looks like Roy --”

“Fuck yeah,” Beast Boy interrupted, a grin now plastered on his face.

“Garth, Wally, Lilith, Karen, Jinx, Joey, Kole, Frances if Wally’s gonna be here, Don Hall, Donna Troy, Mal, Bette, Jason, and obviously all of us and Sarah,” Cyborg said. "And anyone else who manages to gate crash."

“Hmmmm,” Beast Boy hummed, tapping his foot. “Two things.”

Cyborg raised his human eyebrow.

“One: Jason Todd? Isn’t he like …12?” Beast Boy said.

“He’s 16," Cyborg said. "And it’s Dick’s 21st, he wants Jason here, so he’s coming."

“Alright, cool, whatever, just wondering,” Beast Boy said quickly. “And B: you said Don but not Hank. Are you sure Hank’s not just gonna show up? They’re kind of a package deal.”

“Man, you know how Dick is,” Cyborg said with a hint of exasperation. “He didn’t want to blatantly leave Hank off of the invite, so he just sent it directly to Don. But we all know that those two will assume the invite was for both of them. So, yeah, don’t be surprised when Hank shows up.”

Beast Boy let out a loud groan. “But he’s such an asshole , dude!”

“Well, maybe Don will keep him in line,” Cyborg shrugged, eliciting a snort from the green Titan.

“Right, like he has every other time,” he said.

“Poor Don,” Raven cut in quietly, looking down into her tea. “He’s always babysitting.”

Beast Boy’s head snapped around, and he looked at Raven like he had forgotten she was there.

His sullen expression turned into one of glee. He put his arm around the back of Raven’s chair and leaned in until his nose was almost touching her cheek.

“Are you ready to par-tay , Rae Rae?” he grinned.

Raven wrinkled her nose in mild distaste before placing a hand on Beast Boy’s chest, firmly pushing him away.

“No,” she said.

“What?” he yelped, a hand placed dramatically on his chest . By the look on his face, one might assume she had just insulted his grandmother.

“Too many people,” Raven replied, and took another long sip of her tea.

“Well then,” Beast Boy said as he leaned right back into her face.

“I guess you’ll just have to stick with me,” he whispered, a mischievous grin playing across his face.

Raven felt her heart flutter and tried to glare at him but was unable to stop smiling. To hide it, she went to take another drink of tea but found her mug empty. She sighed in frustration and set it back down.

“Green bean, if you want to keep all your teeth, I suggest you back off while you still can,” Cyborg said, clearly amused.

“Nah, Cy, she adores me,” Beast Boy said, his face still inches from Raven’s. “She just hasn’t come to terms with it yet.”

Raven opened her mouth to protest, heart racing from feeling his breath on her face, but was promptly booped on the nose by the changeling. Snatching up his dishes, he made a mad dash for the kitchen sink.

Raven brought a hand up and touched the tip of her nose. How was it possible to want to throttle someone and kiss them at the same time?

Beast Boy jogged back past them, grinning from ear to ear.

“Gotta go meet the Dickmeister in the gym, pretty sure he’s been waiting for like an hour,” he said.

Starfire, who had up until that point been silently watching the other three interact like they were Saturday morning cartoons, also pushed back from the table.

“I, too, must depart, friends,” she said. “It is time for Silky’s morning walk.”

With that, she flew off to her room, which left Raven and Cyborg alone.

“Don’t worry about the dishes, Cy, I got it,” Raven said, getting up.

“Well thanks, Rae,” Cyborg smiled.

“You made breakfast, it’s only fair,” she said, and began gathering everything onto the counter by the sink.

This is the perfect opportunity, she thought to herself. I should say something.

Cyborg checked the time and stood.

“I’ll be down in the garage with the T-Car if you need anything,” he said, walking away.

Stop him! Say something! Anything!

Anxiety gripped Raven’s chest and she suddenly felt like she couldn’t breath. She watched as Cyborg entered the elevator, and she watched as the doors closed, and she said nothing.

Raven heaved a deep sigh and started about her task, regret already forming a pit in her stomach.

A knock at her door brought Raven out of her meditative state. She slowly sank downward, turning until she sat on the edge of her bed.

“Come in,” she said.

The door slid open and Cyborg took a step inside. Leaning against the doorframe, he smiled at Raven.

“I’m heading out to the liquor store to get the goods for tomorrow,” he said. “Whaddya want?”

“Oh, um… I’ve only ever drank champagne at New Years,” Raven said. “So I don’t really know.”

“What me to surprise you?” he asked.

“Um, yeah, I guess -- just nothing too strong,” Raven said with a weak smile.

Cyborg laughed. “You think I’m gonna try to kill ya? Girl, I know you’re a lightweight. Alright, I’ll be back.”

With a wave, he turned to leave and Raven suddenly realized another opportunity had fallen right into her lap.

“Wait! Cy?” She called, standing up.

“Ah, now you don’t trust me, huh?” He joked before stepping back into her room.

“No, no, it’s not that,” Raven said nervously. “Um, is anyone going with you?”

“Well, the walking salad was supposed to but Nightwing is making him train extra for being late this morning,” Cyborg said with a chuckle.

“Oh,” Raven said, staring at a spot on her carpet. “Would you mind, maybe, if I, like, went with you, possibly?”

Cyborg studied her, suddenly suspicious.

“ You want to go to the liquor store? Out in public? Where other people are known to go?”

“Yeah, we can, uh, bond or …whatever,” she finished lamely.

“Rae, are you okay?” Cyborg asked, suspicion turning into concern.

“Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about,” Raven admitted, finally meeting Cyborg’s eyes. “Privately.”

“Oh,” Cyborg said. “Well, shit, Rae, that’s all you had to say! Be ready in 15?”

Raven nodded.

“Don’t forget your holo-ring. We’re going incognito .”

A black swirl of energy appeared about a foot off the ground in an alley beside Jump City’s largest liquor store. Out of it stepped Raven and Cyborg, although with altered appearances.

Raven’s hair was now black, her eyes a piercing blue and her skin a creamy white instead of gray. The red chakra stone usually situated in the center of her forehead was also gone.

Cyborg’s transformation was more dramatic and he looked how Raven assumed he would if he had never been in an accident. He was fully human -- no robot parts in sight.

“Ready, Rachel?” he winked and gestured toward the alley entrance.

Raven smirked and walked past him, ready for the air conditioning.

Once inside, Raven grabbed a cart and leaned on it, leisurely following behind Cyborg as they started down the first aisle. He pulled out his phone to check his list before stopping, allowing Raven to pull up beside him.

Cyborg looked at Raven.

Raven looked at Cyborg.

“So?” He said. “What’s got you all bent outta shape?”

Raven immediately felt herself flush and looked away. The increasingly-familiar ache of anxiety took her breath away yet again and she wondered if she would even be able to do this.

It’s just Cyborg , she told herself. What’s he going to do? Run to the tabloids?

As if reading her mind, Cyborg put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile.

“C’mon, Rae, it’s just me,” he said.

Raven nodded and took a deep breath.

“First off, I want to make it perfectly clear that what I am about to tell you stays between us,” she said.

“I’ll take it to my grave,” Cyborg said, suddenly looking very much the older brother.

“And second, I want to remind you that we are in a public space occupied by other people,” Raven said. “So you can’t freak out.”

Cyborg shifted anxiously. “Rae, did you do something to the T-Car?”

“What? No, of course not,” she said.

Cyborg hummed, not looking entirely convinced. Then he shrugged and began walking again with Raven keeping pace.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Cyborg said, glancing her way before grabbing several bottles of rum and depositing them into the cart.

Raven sighed. “I have feelings for someone,” she breathed, barely a whisper.

“Huh?” Cyborg said, looking up from his list.

Raven gripped the handle of the cart to stop her hands from shaking.

“I have feelings for someone,” she repeated, louder this time. She felt him staring at her but she refused to meet his eyes.

“Well that’s great, Rae!” Cyborg beamed, and clapped her on the back. “Who’s the lucky guy? Or gal -- sorry, that was heteronormative of me.”

He went back to perusing the alcohol selection, checking items off the list as he went.

“Vic,” Raven said. He turned to look at her, eyebrows raised.

She swallowed and looked at her feet. “It’s Beast Boy,” she said before she could psych herself out.

Silence.

More silence. 

Raven looked up at Cyborg to make sure he had heard her. What she saw was a look of pure, unadulterated joy on the older Titan’s face.

“I. Fucking. KNEW IT!” Cyborg yelled the last two words, punctuating them with fist pumps in the air.

“Vic--” Raven held her hands up and looked around, worried the other shoppers would start staring.

“Dude, I fucking knew it ,” Cyborg said gleefully. “Dick said there was no way in hell and I tried to tell him but now look. World’s greatest detective, my shiny ass.”

Raven hid her burning face in her hands. “Just fucking strike me dead now,” she mumbled.

“Aw, c’mon, Rae, I’m just happy for you and the string bean,” Cyborg said, patting her on the shoulder.

Raven crossed her arms and looked away. “Well don’t be happy yet,” she said. “I’m like 99.9% sure he doesn’t feel that way about me.”

Cyborg snorted and Raven looked at him, furrowing her eyebrows. “What?” she snapped.

“You need glasses? Demon vision not 20/20?” he said with a smirk.

“I’m being serious, Vic, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Raven said, face on fire. “Which is why I came to you but if you’re just going to make fun of me I’ll leave.”

With that she began stalking away toward the exit but felt a hand grab her arm before she got very far.

“Wait, I’m sorry,” Cyborg said. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was making fun of you. It’s just so blatantly obvious to the rest of us how he feels about you.”

Raven glared at him a moment before returning to the cart. The pair began making their way back up the aisle, Cyborg once again checking his list.

“If you like champagne, you’d probably like a white wine,” Cyborg said, handing a bottle to Raven for inspection.

Raven looked at the label even though she knew she had no idea what any of the information meant.

“What about cocktails? Like those fruity drinks with the umbrellas you see in movies?” Raven asked, handing the wine back. “You know I have a sweet tooth.”

“Yeah, we can get something like that,” he said, typing it into the list. “Just make sure you’re careful, you can’t taste the alcohol in those things so it’s easy to get carried away.”

“Okay, Dad ,” Raven said, playfully shoving his arm.

They made their way up and down a couple aisles in companionable silence, their cart slowly filling up with various types of liquor.

“So,” Raven broke the silence, peering timidly over at Cyborg.

“So?” He said, putting several bottles of tequila in the cart.

“Earlier, um, you said that it was blatantly obvious how Beast Boy felt about me,” Raven began. “And before that you said you ‘knew it’ and that you had tried to tell Dick but he didn’t believe you so I guess this has all been a topic of discussion before but I guess I’m just confused about what exactly is going on and who knows what and now I’m just kind of rambling so… yeah.”

She cringed and began fiddling with the cart handle. Cyborg started chuckling.

“You know he’s in love with you, right?” he asked.

Raven gaped at him, a feeling of giddiness bubbling up in her chest.

“He told you that?” she breathed.

“No, not outright,” Cyborg said. “If he had, me telling you would have been a major breach of bro-code protocol.”

“Oh,” Raven said, feeling a little deflated.

“But he didn’t have to, Rae,” he said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I know him better than anyone on the team, maybe better than anyone period. The way he looks at you, the way he acts around you, the way he treats you, is different from the way he treats anyone else. I mean, how many times has he ended up in the infirmary because he refuses to accept that you’re tough and can protect yourself? He doesn’t do that with me, Star or Nightwing.”

“...I never thought about it like that,” Raven said quietly.

“‘Course not,” Cyborg said. “It’s not like you can see him when he’s not around you.”

They began walking again and Raven, seeing the amount of alcohol already in the cart, began wondering if Cyborg was planning on giving the entire Titans organization alcohol poisoning.

“And the other stuff?” Raven asked.

Cyborg looked at her, confused. “The food's already at the tower,” he said.

“No,” she rolled her eyes. “You said ‘I knew it.’ Beast Boy might be obvious but I’m pretty sure I’m not.”

“It’s the little things,” Cyborg shrugged, turning back to his list.

“Such as?” Raven normally wouldn’t push but she wanted to know how much the others may have caught on to.

“Well, for starters, it’s the middle of July and you’re wearing the beanie he got you for Christmas,” Cyborg pointed out.

“It’s my favorite,” Raven said defensively, reaching up to touch it. It was black and where it was folded up along the hem there was a black patch embroidered with white capital letters that read huge fan of space: both outer & personal .

“Oh, I know,” Cyborg said. “He points it out to me every time you wear it. Which is a lot .”

Raven looked down and smiled to herself, her heart fluttering.

“Then there’s the fact that you don’t correct him when he calls you Rae Rae anymore but heaven help anyone else that does, you smile at him, and when he actually touches you, you don’t push him away,” Cyborg said, counting the points on his fingers. “Sure, you act annoyed by it but it’s just that -- an act. It’s only when he gets really close to you like he did at breakfast that you push him away. Which, I suspect, is because he isn't giving you the physical contact you want. Shall I go on?”

Cyborg looked at her, an eyebrow arched.

“No, I think I got it,” she said. “So, what do I do? I had a hard enough time telling you, I really don’t think I could outright confess to him.”

Before Cyborg could answer, Raven felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out, she unlocked the screen.

Beast Boy: Did you get today’s Wordle?

Raven stared at the message. He played Wordle?

“Lemme guess,” Cyborg smirked. “BB texted you.”

Raven looked up at Cyborg, confused.

“He asked me if I got today’s Wordle.”

Cyborg started laughing. “Man, I didn’t think he was actually serious about that!”

Raven remained silent, raising an eyebrow.

“He told me a couple days ago he was gonna start playing so he’d have something else to talk to you about,” Cyborg chuckled.

“That’s … kind of sweet,” Raven said. She began typing out a reply.

Beast Boy: Did you get today’s Wordle?

Raven: Got it in 3.

Beast Boy: Wtf

Beast Boy: How tho

Raven smiled to herself and started typing back, lazily pushing the cart behind Cyborg.

“You asked what you should do, right?” Cyborg said after a few minutes.

“Hmmm?” she hummed, looking up. “Oh, yes. I did.”

"Well, if you're looking to drop some hints, you obviously gotta flirt with 'im," Cyborg said.

Raven felt herself flush and looked at Cyborg with wide eyes.

“Oh, don’t gimme that look, I know you got it in you,” Cyborg said, waving a hand. “You gotta hit on him, and hit on him hard so he knows what you’re doing. If you wanna start small, try calling him Gar.”

“He only lets you call him that,” Raven protested.

“And I’m just his best friend,” Cyborg said. “I can’t imagine he’d be too upset about the love of his life calling him that.”

“I--” Raven spluttered, her face turning beet red. “I am not --”

“Aren’t you though?” Cyborg interrupted, and winked at her. “Besides, it’ll be a kind of litmus test. If he doesn’t correct you, you’ll know how he feels.”

Raven nodded. She couldn’t really argue with that.

“My other recommendation is this: feel ‘im up,” Cyborg said.

“Vic--”

He raised a hand, cutting her off.

“I’m not talking about anything lewd ,” he said. “Although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. I just mean, you know, a touch on the arm, hand on the shoulder, lean into him more, sit down right next to him. That kinda stuff.”

Raven nodded again, feeling unsure.

“Yeah, I -- I think I can work with that,” she said, feigning confidence. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, Rae,” Cyborg said. “I’ll be waiting for my wedding invitation.”

Raven smacked his arm and Cyborg laughed. They began making their way to the checkout when Raven stopped him.

“Can I see your list?” Raven asked. Cyborg handed her his phone and she scrolled through it.

“Are we going anywhere else after this?”

“You don’t think this is enough?” Cyborg asked, incredulous.

“No, it is, but there’s nothing for Roy,” Raven said, crossing her arms.

Cyborg stared at Raven, looked at the full cart, and then looked back at Raven.

“He need a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle or something?” Cyborg said, eyebrows raised.

“No, Vic,” Raven sighed, rolling her eyes. “He’s sober. You know that.”

“Oh, I thought that was just the hard stuff,” he said.

“He’s quit everything,” Raven replied.

“Since when?”

“Since Lian was born!” Raven said, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “He drank ginger ale at New Years!”

“Well, Rae, I don’t exactly remember New Years,” Cyborg retorted.

“I’m going to call him, see what he wants,” Raven said, pulling out her phone.

She scrolled through her contacts looking for Speedy but came up empty. She scrunched her eyebrows. That’s odd, she thought. Then she remembered the last time they had hung out, Roy had insisted on changing his contact name to Arsenal.

Raven tapped the phone icon to initiate the call and immediately put it on speaker to include Cyborg. A few seconds later, Roy answered.

“Raven, if you’re making a booty call you got your dates mixed up. I’ll be there tomorrow my love,” came Roy’s voice.

Cyborg began snickering and Raven smacked him in the stomach, eliciting a quiet oof.

“You’re on speaker, Roy,” Raven said in her monotone.

“All the Titans West on one call for lil ole me? I’m flattered,” Roy said.

“Actually, it’s just me and Rae,” Cyborg said. “We’re at the liquor store picking up stuff for tomorrow.”

“Oh… uh, hope you didn’t call for any recommendations,” Roy chuckled awkwardly.

“Nah, man, we were heading to the checkout and then we’re gonna pop over to the grocery store for some food,” Cyborg said. “Raven suggested we call and see what kinda drinks you want. Soda? Something sparkling, if you’re feeling fancy?”

“Aw, Raaaven, how sweet,” Roy cooed. “Hey, Cy?”

“Yeah?”

“I know Raven already knows, but that whole booty call thing was a joke so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Beastie,” Roy said. “I don’t want him to think I’m gonna make a pass at his girlfriend tomorrow.”

Cyborg looked at Raven, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Raven stared at him, and then back down at the phone.

“What?” Raven said, her voice coming out in a higher pitch than usual.

“Well, I mean, unless he’d be cool with it but Beastie didn’t strike me as the kind of guy to share,” Roy said playfully.

“No, I’m not his -- we’re not together , Roy,” Raven said, gesturing with her free hand.

“What? What happened?” Roy said, now concerned.

“What do you mean ‘what happened?’ Raven said, becoming increasingly flustered.

“Did you guys break up or something?” Roy asked, sounding confused now himself.

“No, we -- we were never together in the first place,” she said, looking at Cyborg for help. He just shrugged and gestured toward the phone, indicating she was on her own.

“Oh…” Roy said, sounding thoroughly flummoxed. “Well… the fuck’s up with that?”

Cyborg let out a bark of laughter and Raven glared at him.

"See? Cy knows what's up," Roy said.

“I hate you both," Raven said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Pfft, c’mon, Raven ,” Roy said. “Every single time I’m over there, you two are staring heart eyes at each other. So. Why. The fuck. Aren’t you together?”

Raven opened her mouth to reply but shut it again and looked at Cyborg, who appeared to be having the time of his life. She sighed.

“I’m …actually working on it,” she said quietly.

“Oh, no shit?” Roy said.

"Well, I--," Raven glanced again at Cyborg. "I mean, I guess I'm going to try ."

"Oooh, lemme help," Roy said with enthusiasm. "I'm the best wingman."

"Nah-uh, Harper, she already has me ," Cyborg cut in.

"I sense a wingman-off in our midst."

"Speedy, I don't really know how--," Raven began but was quickly cut off.

"Mia is not on this call, m'dear," he said.

Raven rolled her eyes and sighed.

"C'mon, if you let me help, it'll take more pressure off you," Roy said.

"Fine," Raven relented. "But this stays between the three of us."

"Scout's honor!" Roy said.

"Listen, we should go or the others will start to wonder if we got lost," Raven said.

The three said their goodbyes and Raven pushed the cart over to an open checkout counter. As they were unloading their haul, Cyborg looked over at Raven and grinned.

"You still 99.9% sure, Rae?" he asked.

"Shut up," came Raven's quick reply and Cyborg just chuckled.

Arms laden with bags, the pair left the store and entered the alley they had come from.

"Wait, Roy never actually told us what he wanted," Raven said, setting down a bag to pull out her phone.

Unlocking it, she found a new message waiting.

Arsenal: Ginger ale and it better be Canada Dry or I'll tell Beastie you kick puppies for fun

Raven typed out a response and quickly received two back.

Raven: Do that and I'll tell Flamebird you're interested

Arsenal: :O

Arsenal: Christ, no need to go nuclear

Raven smirked and stowed her phone in her pocket. She and Cyborg then placed the rest of their bags on the ground. Opening a portal underneath them, the bags landed gently on the kitchen table back at the tower. Satisfied, Raven opened another portal, this one leading to a grocery store several blocks away. Hooking her arm in Cyborg's, they walked through it together.

Chapter Text

Raven finished changing into her pajamas -- an oversized navy blue crewneck and matching plaid shorts -- and checked the time. 9:30. She could really go for a cup of chamomile.

Unfurling her empathic senses, she reached out for her teammates' auras. Starfire and Nightwing were in the latter's room, probably for the night, Cyborg was once again in the garage with his beloved T-Car, and Beast Boy was in the living room.

Suddenly nervous, Raven looked at herself again in the mirror and ran her fingers through her hair. She smiled. If she was being honest with herself, she thought she looked cute. The crewneck swallowed her diminutive frame and her shorts barely peeked out underneath its hem.

Beast Boy being out there wasn't necessarily a bad thing, she thought, and she wanted that tea.

She took a deep breath and made her way to the common area. The door hissed open on her arrival and she felt her heart leap at the sight of a green head peeking over the back of the couch.

On the TV screen was Sir David Attenborough talking about the trio of scarlet macaws perched in front of him.

Beast Boy turned his head to look at Raven and flashed a toothy grin.

"Hey, Rae Rae," he said before turning his attention back to the screen.

Remembering what she and Cyborg had discussed earlier, Raven began walking toward the kitchen and threw a casual "hey, Gar" over her shoulder, keeping the changeling in her periphery to gauge his reaction.

His ears twitched. She put her kettle on a burner and leaned against the counter, facing the TV.

Beast Boy slowly turned, both arms on the back of the couch, and looked at her, a slightly confused expression on his face.

"Did you just call me Gar?" he asked.

"I did," she said, keeping her face blank.

He furrowed his eyebrows and, mouth in a thin line, hummed and turned back to the TV.

Well, he didn't correct her but he also didn't seem enthusiastic about her use of the nickname. She'd have to tell Cyborg.

Raven finished making her cup of tea and walked up behind Beast Boy. He had one arm stretched along the back of the couch, his other resting in his lap and his feet propped up on the coffee table. He was wearing a faded Gorillaz t-shirt and light gray sweat shorts.

"I won't, if you don't want me to," Raven said, looking at the TV.

"Hmmm?" Beast Boy looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed again.

"Call you Gar," Raven replied, looking down at him and then quickly away.

He smiled warmly at her, bottom fang poking out and lightly touched her forearm. He remained silent until she met his eyes.

"Rae, you can call me Gar, Garfield, Logan, Beast Boy, BB, grass stain, salad head, whatever you want," he said.

"Yeah?" she asked, still unsure.

"Of course," he smiled wider and patted her arm before placing his own back on the couch. He then turned to continue watching David Attenborough.

"Well, except maybe Beastie," he said. "Roy might get jealous."

He shot Raven a quick wink and she felt herself blush.

"What are you watching?" she asked, drawing closer to him.

"Life in Color with David Attenborough," he said.

"Would you mind if I joined you? Just, you know …while I have my tea," Raven said, holding up her mug.

Beast Boy looked back at her, smiling again. "You don't have to ask, Rae."

Raven nodded and steeled herself, once again thinking about what Cyborg had told her.

A touch on the arm, hand on the shoulder, lean into him more, sit down right next to him.

She walked around the edge of the couch and over to Beast Boy, set her mug on the coffee table, and, without missing a beat, sat right up against him. Raven folded her legs in front of her, knees pointed toward Beast Boy's lap so her weight was leaned into his side, his arm behind her.

Over the years, Raven had gotten so used to blocking out her teammates' emotions that now, if she wanted to know how one of them might be feeling, she had to specifically focus on them. As she felt Beast Boy stiffen beside her, that's exactly what she did.

At first she was hit by his initial surprise, followed by mild confusion, sheer happiness, and, as he relaxed, an almost overwhelming feeling of love and affection.

Raven's heart soared. Well, that answered that question, she thought.

Feeling comfortable, Raven used her powers to lift her mug off the coffee table and into her hands. She took a long, slow sip and sighed, content.

With one hand she reached over and plucked Beast Boy's shirt.

"Good band," she said.

He looked down at the top of her head. "Why am I just now learning about our similar music tastes?"

"You never asked," she said, taking another sip.

He chuckled and the feeling of it sent butterflies through her stomach. They sat in comfortable silence for a bit, listening to Attenborough talk about various colorful animals.

"Gar?"

"Mmm?"

"This morning… do you remember telling me that I'd have to stick with you at the party?"

"Hmmm," he hummed, tapping a finger against his chin. "If I remember correctly, that was after you passive aggressively shoved me away."

"There was nothing passive about it," Raven said in her monotone, eliciting a laugh from the changeling.

"Why?" Beast Boy asked.

"Were you being serious?" she said.

"Depends."

"On?"

"Do you want me to have been being serious?" he said and then scrunched his face. "Man, that was a weird sentence."

Raven suddenly felt very flustered and wished she hadn't brought it up at all. Fiddling with her mug, she shook her head.

"Nevermind, I-- just forget I said anything," she mumbled, internally cringing at herself.

A few minutes passed, then Beast Boy broke the silence.

"Are you really not looking forward to tomorrow?"

Raven shrugged, feeling too embarrassed to actually say anything.

"It'll be fun," he said in a conciliatory tone. "All our friends will be there, and food. You like food."

"I…" she began before taking a deep breath and swallowing. "I just…always feel so out of place."

Raven felt an ache in her chest and her eyes burned. Where was this coming from?

"Out of place? Rae," he leaned forward to look at her but she refused to meet his eyes, "you literally live here. You're an original Titan and everyone in this tower considers you family . Everyone who will be here tomorrow is your friend ."

"And yet," she finally looked at him, "I'll still feel incredibly alone."

They stared at each other for a moment before Beast Boy nodded and leaned back.

"Then you leave me no choice, Rae Rae," he said. "I'm gonna stick to you like white on rice. I'll be insufferable ."

"I'd actually really like that," Raven murmured, smiling into her tea.

She was hit by a wave of pure elation, followed by apprehension and nervousness. Beast Boy shifted slightly and seemed to second guess himself before silently moving the arm he had stretched across the back of the couch to around Raven's shoulders. She felt his anxiety.

To reassure him, Raven snuggled further into Beast Boy's side, her folded legs practically in his lap, and laid her head on his shoulder. 

His arm held her there securely, a thumb rubbing soothing circles on her upper arm. She drank the rest of her tea but kept a hold of her mug, almost afraid to move -- like it would break the spell.

Raven couldn't remember the last time she had felt so happy. She took a deep breath and Beast Boy's scent flooded her senses, having almost an intoxicating effect. He smelled like the earth, like the forest after a heavy rain, fresh herbs and pine and it was suddenly her favorite smell in the world.

Raven realized she was still smiling and hadn't been trying to hide it. And why hide it from Beast Boy anyway? This was exactly what she wanted. She wanted him to see how he made her feel.

The doors to the elevator hissed opened and Cyborg walked into the common area. He glanced over at the couch but gave no indication that what he saw was in any way unusual. He knew he'd hear about it soon enough. Continuing along his path, he called out a "g'night guys" before entering the hallway, receiving two "good night Cy"s back.

The two continued to focus on the TV, Attenborough now describing the mantis shrimp. Before long the credits were rolling and Raven felt her heart drop in disappointment.

"It's over," she whispered into Beast Boy's shirt.

"Mmm, it's part of a series," he murmured back. "It'll play the next episode automatically."

"You probably want to go to bed though," she said, hoping he'd deny it.

"I'm good if you're good?" he smiled down at her. 

"Mmmm."

Beast Boy plucked the empty mug out of Raven's hands and placed it on the coffee table. Leaning back into the couch, he pulled her in closer, her head laying in the crook of his neck. She draped an arm across his chest.

"You're so warm ," Raven murmured.

"I'm…sorry?" Beast Boy chuckled, hugging her tighter.

"No, no, it's nice," she said, closing her eyes. "I'm always a little chilly."

"Like a small jalapeno," he whispered, earning himself a giggle.

Raven felt him rest his head on top of hers as he brought his other arm around to hold onto the one she had laid across him.

"I can't believe you just laughed at one of my jokes," he said.

"No one will ever believe you."

With that, they lapsed into a blissful silence and Raven was slowly lulled to sleep by the sound of Attenborough's voice and Beast Boy's beating heart.

Chapter Text

"You stayed out there for how long ?"

Cyborg tracked him with his human eye as the changeling quickly walked back and forth in front of him.

"Until, like, 2 a.m., dude!" Beast Boy threw his hands up and increased his already frenzied pace.

"She fell asleep on me! What did you expect me to do!? Wake her up ? I was in Heaven! Shangri-la! Experiencing nirvana! I could smell her hair , dude!"

"Yeah?" Cyborg asked with barely contained amusement. "What did it smell like?"

"LAVENDER!" Beast Boy stopped his incessant pacing to throw himself onto the floor, groaning into Cyborg's carpet.

"She called me Gar ," his words came out muffled.

It was 10 a.m. and Beast Boy had burst into the mecha's room as soon as he heard movement coming from within. He had taken Cyborg step-by-step through the events of the previous night with frantically waving hands and borderline-crazed facial expressions.

Cyborg stood from his gaming chair and walked over to the green Titan, wedged a foot under him and gently flipped the younger boy over so he faced the ceiling.

"What did you do?" Cyborg asked.

"I already told you," Beast Boy replied, eyes glazed. "I said she could call me anything she wanted. Cy, she could straight up murder me and I'd come back as a ghost just to thank her."

Cyborg chuckled. "That's not what I meant, but okay."

Beast Boy focused on Cyborg's face with a questioning look.

"You said you stayed out there 'til 2," Cyborg said. "But you carried her to bed eventually, right? You didn't just leave her on the couch, did you?"

"Contrary to popular belief, tinhead, I'm not a complete moron," he said, looking away. "I ah--"

He started plucking at the carpet, desperate for something to occupy his hands with. "Man, I'm gonna sound like such a creep."

The pair were interrupted by the bedroom door sliding open, revealing Sarah Simms.

"Well, hello there , gorgeous," Cyborg said, smirking.

Sarah gave him a radiant smile and walked into the room, stepping over Beast Boy to reach her boyfriend's side. She wrapped her arms around him and stood on her tiptoes to peck him on the cheek before looking down at the changeling.

"Hi, BB," she said, tucking a long strand of platinum blond hair behind her ear.

"Hi, Sarah," he replied, giving her a weak smile. "You're early."

"I'm helping set up. You okay?"

Beast Boy sighed. "Dunno yet." He started plucking the carpet again in earnest.

Sarah looked up at Cyborg and raised her eyebrows.

"Raven."

"Ah," she said and moved to sit in Cyborg's vacated gaming chair.

He turned his attention back to Beast Boy. "What makes you think you're gonna sound like a creep? What'd you do?"

"I just--," Beast Boy began making nonsensical hand gestures, "When I realized she was asleep, I didn't want it to end so I paused what we were watching and put on some baking show or some shit. And then I just…held her for, like, three hours. I couldn't feel my butt, dude. She just looked so peaceful . I didn't even really watch the show, I just watched her. "

His face turned a deep green and he covered it with his hands, letting out a long groan. 

"So creepy ," he grumbled, closing his hands into fists and lightly smacking himself on the forehead.

"Um," Sarah leaned forward, looking from Cyborg to Beast Boy, "I don't want to, like, intrude on your conversation or anything but…that didn't really sound creepy to me. Like …at all. It actually sounded really sweet, B."

"See?" Cyborg said, nudging him with his foot. "You're not a creep, Gar. You're just down bad."

"Real bad," Sarah agreed, leaning back and pulling out her phone. She began quietly scrolling.

Beast Boy groaned again and rolled back onto his stomach, face pressed into the carpet.

"Then what'd you do?" Cyborg asked.

"Well, at that point, I had a numb butt and a full bladder," Beast Boy mumbled. "And I didn't want Raven to wake up in the morning…out there…with me…'cause I just knew she'd be mortified. So I kinda just scooped her up -- she weighs like ten pounds, dude -- and tucked her in her bed. Then, like, as soon as I left, I texted her that I was sorry for going into her room and that I paused what we had been watching before she fell asleep so if she wanted to keep watching with me, she could. But, my luck, it was probably just some kinda one-off."

Cyborg raised his eyebrow. "Raven doesn't do one-offs, man."

"Yeah, well, I didn't think she did me either, yet here we are." Beast Boy cringed. "That came out wrong." He pressed the rest of his face into the carpet.

"B, are you gonna get up or am I gonna have to pick you up?"

"Leave me," came the muffled response.

Irritated, Cyborg bent down and grabbed a handful of the changeling's shirt, lifting him to his feet. He then spun Beast Boy around and pushed him against the wall, forcing him to meet his gaze.

"So lemme get this straight--," Cyborg began but stopped when he saw Beast Boy's eyes flicker nervously toward Sarah.

Not loosening his hold, Cyborg looked back at his girlfriend. "Hey, babe? You mind giving us a minute?"

Sarah looked up from her phone and took in the scene unfolding before her.

“Sure!” she said, standing and moving toward the door. “I’ll be in the kitchen. I think I heard Star say something about needing more mustard for her buttercream icing.”

Both boys cringed as Sarah exited the room.

Cyborg turned back to the captive Beast Boy, a serious expression on his face. “As I was saying--”

“Vic--”

“No, you listen to me now,” Cyborg’s tone left no room for argument. “Raven -- Raven -- left her room, her sanctuary, the place she never leaves unless she has to, went to the common area, saw you there alone , called you Gar , asked if she could join you in watching some nature doc you know she doesn’t care about, basically sat in your lap , asked you to stay with her at the party, let you hold her , she fell asleep on you, and you’re going to stand there and try to tell me that all of that was some kind of fluke ?”

Beast Boy looked agitated. “I mean…yeah!”

“What is wrong with you, man? You say you’re not a complete moron but you’re not making a very strong case for yourself!” Cyborg realized he was raising his voice and took a deep breath.

Beast Boy shoved Cyborg’s hand off of him in frustration.

“You just don’t get it , Cy!” he yelled. “Good things just don’t happen to me, okay? And if they do, I always go and fuck them up!”

He balled his hands into fists to stop them from shaking, blood pounding in his ears.

“Good things don’t happen to you, or you don’t deserve to have them happen to you?” Cyborg asked quietly. Beast Boy clenched his jaw and looked away, blinking furiously.

“You live your life in fear of fucking things up but have you ever actually stopped to wonder what if you don’t?” Cyborg pressed on. “Have you ever actually stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe , last night wasn’t a fluke? That Raven might actually like you ?”

Beast Boy just shook his head. “No, there’s… there’s just no way.” He sighed, dejected and scratched behind an ear.

“Why not?” Cyborg asked, crossing his arms. Beast Boy threw his head back and his arms up, exasperated, like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

“ Look at her, man! Look at me !” He placed both hands on his chest. “I’m fucking green , my ears make me look like a Middle Earth reject, I have fangs, my DNA is all kinds of fucked. The only women to ever show any kind of interest in me have been Terra , who was only using me, because of course she was, cape-chasers who just wanted to get closer to Dick , and gold diggers because they know I’m Steve Dayton’s stepson. ”

“Did you forget that Rae’s half-demon?” Cyborg said, raising his eyebrow. “Literally the daughter of satan. Has gray skin, purple eyes and hair. Gem in the center of her forehead. Can blow stuff up.”

“She is an angel ,” Beast Boy said, pointing at him.

Cyborg chuckled. “You know her self esteem is about as low as yours and yet you think so highly of her. I wouldn’t be surprised if the reverse was also true.”

Beast Boy looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Well, your self esteem is shit but she probably thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. You’re just too busy wearing your ass as a hat to realize it.”

Beast Boy looked offended and opened his mouth to retort but stopped, glancing down at his shorts pocket. He felt his phone vibrate two more times. Pulling it out, he saw he had three texts from Raven.

His mind raced. She's going to let him down, tell him last night was a mistake, they're friends, it meant nothing more than that, don't make it out to be more than that. Heart in his throat, he unlocked his phone and opened the messages.

Beast Boy: Hey, so you fell asleep lol. Sorry I had to go in your room to put you in bed but I promise I didn’t touch anything

Beast Boy: Btw I stopped Attenborough when I saw you were asleep in case you wanted to finish it with me :)

Rae Rae: It’s okay, you can come in my room. 

Rae Rae: And I’d like that, but only if I can be the little spoon.

Rae Rae: Also don’t forget the plan for today…white on rice.

Beast Boy stared at the messages for a few moments, slack jawed. Silently, he passed his phone to Cyborg, who read the short conversation.

Cyborg let out a low whistle. “Dude,” he said, looking up at the changeling. “I don’t know how she could be more obvious.”

For once in his life, Beast Boy was speechless. Taking his phone back, he looked at the messages again and ran a hand through his hair.

“You gotta tell her how you feel, B,” Cyborg said.

Beast Boy shook his head, still staring at his phone. “I’ll fuck it up,” he whispered.

Cyborg let out a deep sigh and looked up at the ceiling for a moment.

“You know what? Fine. Let’s practice. You tell me how you feel about her.”

Beast Boy looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Did I stutter?” Cyborg crossed his arms. 

“You already know, Vic,” he protested.

“Nah, man, that was years ago when it was just a crush, which clearly isn’t the case anymore,” Cyborg started tapping his foot. “Go on, then. Spill.”

They stared at each other for a moment. Finally, Beast Boy locked his phone and put it in his pocket.

“I--” he stopped to swallow and wet his lips, then looked Cyborg in the eye. “Honestly, Cy? I am completely…hopelessly in love with her. My heart and soul belong to her. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and sometimes, when she’s meditating by the living room windows and the sun hits her just right, it takes my breath away. And not just that -- she’s intelligent, strong, witty, brave, kind, gentle, caring and everything I’ve ever wanted.” He took a shaky breath. “She’s all I think about -- what she’s doing, if she’s happy, safe. There’s this poem… it goes: they asked ‘do you love her to death?’ / I said ‘speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life.’ I think-- I think that sums it up pretty well.”

There was silence for a few moments as Beast Boy stared at the floor, waiting for Cyborg’s response. The mecha leaned forward slightly and tilted his head to the side.

“She’s got you reciting poetry ? It’s worse than I thought.”

He let out a breathy laugh and looked at Cyborg. “Which is why I can’t fuck it up.”

“You won’t ,” Cyborg said. “This isn’t some rando off the street. It’s Raven . Which, I know in your mind makes the whole thing scarier but it shouldn’t. She knows you. If you put your foot in your mouth, she’ll hear you out because, like you said, she’s intelligent, kind and caring. Tell me I’m wrong.”

Beast Boy just looked at him. “I--”

“You can’t.”

“I can’t, no.”

“See?” Cyborg clapped him on the back. “Now you’re starting to make sense.”

He looked at Beast Boy and grinned. “And, man, that speech you made? Say that to her and,” he rubbed his fingers together, “she’ll be putty in your hands.”

Beast Boy turned a dark green. “Cy--”

“ Putty !”

Beast Boy groaned dramatically, making Cyborg laugh. “Seriously, though, B, you good?”

Beast Boy nodded. “Yeah…I think so.” He grinned at his best friend. “Thanks, dude.”

“Hey, it’s what I’m here for,” Cyborg shrugged. “ But I should probably go rescue Sarah from any taste-testing. And you need to formulate a response to those texts.”

“Yeah, I also need a shower before everyone starts showing up.” Beast Boy sniffed an armpit and made a face.

“Gotta smell good for Raaae Raaae ,” Cyborg teased in a falsetto.

“I won’t hesitate to sell you to a scrap yard,” Beast Boy said, turning toward the door.

Cyborg followed close behind, snickering, the hiss of the hydraulics signaling their exit.

Chapter Text

Raven woke from a deep, restful sleep nestled in her bed, arms hugging a pillow tightly to her chest. She blinked the bleariness from her eyes and looked around, slightly confused. Where was she? What time was it?

She looked at the clock on her nightstand. 8 a.m.

Raven rolled onto her back and rubbed a hand across her face. She didn’t remember coming to bed. The last thing she remembered was…

Oh.

She felt herself blush. She had fallen asleep on Beast Boy.

Oh, no.

Did he mind? Was he annoyed with her? Wait…had he brought her to bed?

She imagined him lifting her in those strong arms she so often found herself staring at, carrying her through the halls like she weighed nothing, and gently laying her in bed. The scenario thrilled her, sending a spark of electricity down her spine.

At the same time, she felt a tinge of embarrassment and shyness. She had cuddled him, fallen asleep on him. Insignificant to some, sure, but for her, it was brazen. How was she supposed to face him now?

She sighed. That chamomile was not a good idea. Things were moving a lot faster than she had anticipated.

But is that so bad? came a voice from the back of her head. She was beginning to get what she wanted.

Raven closed her eyes and began to take stock of her emotions. She felt apprehensive and nervous, of course, but also happy. So, so happy. But, she also felt like something was missing.

She frowned to herself and focused on the odd, dull ache in her chest. What was that?

Then she realized it wasn’t a what -- it was a who .

Raven missed Gar.

As soon as she made the realization, she could feel it down to her bones. Her bed was suddenly too big, the blankets not warm enough. She felt herself ache for him -- not just for his presence, but for his touch , which was an entirely new phenomenon for her.

Raven hated physical contact. She always had; she just couldn’t stand the feeling of someone being right up against her.

She thought back to the few dates she had braved to appease Starfire. The men had been nice enough, but they had always tried to hold her hand, put their arm around her, pull her in closer, with some even trying to kiss her. The very memory made her skin crawl.

Raven had never had a second date, or kiss, or anything else. She had never even been held before last night. At least, not like that.

Now, laying in bed, staring at her ceiling, she wished with every fiber of her being that he was there with her. She had gotten a taste of what it would be like to be with him and she wanted more.

Raven sighed and, looking for a distraction, reached for her phone. Unlocking it, she saw two unread texts from Gar. Her heart fluttered.

Beast Boy: Hey, so you fell asleep lol. Sorry I had to go in your room to put you in bed but I promise I didn’t touch anything

Beast Boy: Btw I stopped Attenborough when I saw you were asleep in case you wanted to finish it with me :)

She stared at the messages, a small smile playing on her lips. So, he had carried her to bed. Her heartbeat quickened. And he apologized for going into her room… but she wanted him in her room. Like, all the time. He could have stayed the night and she wouldn’t have minded.

Raven blushed. What had gotten into her?

She looked at her phone again. Gar had stopped Attenborough. What was that show again? Colorful Life? She scrunched her face. She had been so focused on how warm he was and how good he smelled that she really couldn’t remember.

It didn’t matter. If continuing the series got her close to him again, she was all for it.

Raven began thinking of possible replies but came up empty. On a whim, she tapped his last message to check its time stamp.

Sent 00:02:17

Raven’s eyes widened a little. He sent it after 2 a.m.? She thought back to the night before. She remembered looking at the clock before leaving her room. It had been about 9:30. She had made her tea and sat down with him. Up to the point where he had taken the mug out of her hands, she didn’t think much more than an hour had passed. So she must have fallen asleep between 10:30 and 11.

Which meant…

Raven felt warmth blooming in her chest. Had he sat there for three hours, just holding her?

She smiled, her heart feeling like it was about to burst. Rolling over to her other side, she bit her bottom lip and read his messages again and again.

Unless he carried her to bed right away and had just sent the messages later? Raven furrowed her eyebrows. That didn’t make sense. He would have just gone to bed himself instead of staying awake. He really must have held her for that long.

That chamomile had been a great idea.

Raven’s smile was so big it was starting to make her cheeks hurt. She tried to come up with a response but again failed.

Sighing, she got out of bed and made her way to her en-suite. She undressed and stepped into the shower, letting the cool water invigorate her.

That morning, Raven made sure to take her time, skipping no steps in her routine. She deep conditioned, shaved, exfoliated, and moisturized, paying particularly close attention to her legs. She knew Gar loved them from years of catching him ogling her while in uniform.

Once out of the shower, she covered herself in a lavender vanilla body butter, letting it soak in while she gave herself a blow-out.

Leaving the bathroom, she walked to one of her dressers and began rooting around for a specific outfit. Finding it, she laid it out on her bed, wondering if, perhaps, it was a bit too revealing.

The top was actually a black longline lace bralette she had bought during a shopping trip with Starfire. The back was strappy and, while the material covering the breasts was completely opaque, the lace trim and that going around the back was slightly sheer and would reveal hints of skin. She planned on pairing the bralette with simple black, high-waisted shorts and black slip-on Vans.

Mulling it over, she decided to at least try it on.

The shorts definitely showed off her legs and the lace wasn’t as sheer as she feared it would be. The top of her shorts and the bottom of the bralette were about two or three inches apart, giving a glimpse of her toned stomach. The bralette’s padding made her look a bit bustier than usual, giving her a bit more cleavage.

Raven turned, looking at herself in her full-length mirror. Her butt was completely covered, but barely. Facing forward again, she studied her silhouette. Over the past year or two her body had matured from that of a teenage girl into that of a woman. The swell of her hips was fuller and her breasts, while still not large by any means, had grown. The combination made the slip of her waist appear smaller, exaggerating her hourglass figure.

Still unsure, she took out her phone, took a front and back photo, and sent them to Starfire.

Raven: *sent two images*

Raven: Too revealing?

While waiting on a response, Raven looked at herself again. The outfit was missing something. She needed some jewelry. Walking over to her jewelry tray, she perused the few pieces she owned. Cyborg had said that Gar noticed whenever she wore something he got for her.

Raven realized with a jolt that she had subconsciously planned her whole outfit to get Gar’s attention. She looked down at herself. She should change.

She started over to her dresser when her phone started buzzing. Picking it up, she saw texts waiting from Star.

Star: FRIEND RAVEN!!! YOU LOOK SO HOT

Star: Is that the top you got at VS?? It looks amazing! I thought you got rid of it!

Raven smiled. She knew she could count on Starfire to gas her up. She quickly sent a response and walked back to her jewelry tray. Feeling her phone buzz, she pulled it out again.

Raven: I was actually thinking about changing…

Star: DON’T YOU DARE >:(

Raven let out a small laugh and set her phone down. Fine, she’d wear it. But for Star, not Gar.

Her eyes flickered over the tray and landed on the piece she had been looking for. It was a delicate, sterling silver hamsa necklace with a gleaming peridot as an iris. She grabbed it and silver stud earrings -- three for each lobe -- bringing them over to her vanity.

After putting them on, she ran her fingers through her hair and looked at herself. The hamsa pendant sat in the hollow of her throat, right above the center of her collarbone. It didn’t really matter that Gar had given it to her, she told herself -- it went with the outfit. The yellow-green peridot shone out, contrasting nicely with her purple hair and eyes.

Raven retrieved her phone and texted Starfire again.

Raven: Okay, you win. Are you busy? Could you help me with my hair and makeup?

She knew she could easily do them herself, but somehow they always turned out better with the alien’s help. Her phone vibrated.

Star: Bring your stuff to the kitchen. I am making cakes but Sarah is here, we can both help.

Raven frowned. Cakes? As in, plural? She shrugged and reached out with her empathic senses for the rest of her teammates’ auras. Starfire and Sarah were where Star said they’d be, Gar was in Cyborg’s room with him, and she couldn’t sense Dick. Odd. As long as Gar wasn’t in the common area -- she didn’t want him to see her yet, partly because she wasn’t sure what she’d say.

She gathered what she’d need and walked out to the kitchen. Sarah was sitting on a stool at the kitchen island watching Starfire push something into the oven. Hearing Raven arrive, both women turned to look at her.

“ Damn , Raven, you are hot,” Sarah said, looking her up and down approvingly. “Those pics didn’t do you justice.”

“And to think, she was going to change ,” Starfire shot Raven a withering look.

Raven allowed herself a small smile. “I just thought it was maybe a little…skimpy.”

“Skimpy?” Sarah said, confused. “It’s going to be in the low 90s today, and sunny. Besides…,” she hopped off her stool, “we’re kind of wearing the same thing.”

Raven looked at her and realized she was right. Sarah was a few inches taller than her but not quite as pale. She had naturally platinum blonde hair and startling blue eyes, with an adorable spray of light-colored freckles across her nose. She was wearing a flowy, pale blue cropped t-shirt with a deep v-neck that hung off one shoulder, revealing a lacy white bralette. Sarah had paired it with high-waisted, distressed acid-washed daisy dukes and white flip-flops.

“No wonder Vic loves you,” Raven said. “You’re super cute.”

Sarah laughed. “And you’re super hot. ” She shot finger guns at Raven, who snorted.

Raven moved around the island and moved her kettle onto a burner. “Where’s Dick?” she asked Star, who obviously wasn’t dressed for the party yet. “I can’t sense him.”

“Oh, he went to pick up Jason in the T-Copter,” Star replied, leaning against the opposite counter.

Raven nodded. “Do either of you know how to make space buns?” she asked, looking between two.

Starfire furrowed her eyebrows. “I do not believe I have this recipe,” she said, apologetically.

“It’s a hairstyle, Star,” Sarah said, and turned to Raven. “I do, but we’ll have to move to the couch.”

Raven finished making her tea and, carrying her hairstyling tools, followed Sarah into the living room. The blonde sat on the edge of the couch and spread her knees so Raven could sit on the floor between them. Bracing herself for the close proximity, Raven sat.

“So, what are we thinking? Two buns? All hair up, half, or a third?” Sarah asked, grabbing Raven’s brush and a few hair ties.

“I thought two buns, a third up just so the buns are small,” Raven said. Sarah nodded and began silently brushing out Raven’s hair.

Raven sipped her tea and pulled out her phone, rereading Gar’s messages. She wracked her brain but still didn’t know how to reply. It shouldn’t be this hard, right? They’d texted numerous times before.

Should she make it flirty? Would he be able to tell she was flirting through text? Did she even know how to flirt? Raven sighed.

“You good?” Sarah asked, now parting Raven’s hair down the middle.

“Mmm…” Raven stalled. She could bring it up to Sarah. Cyborg knows and they tell each other everything. Well, at least she assumed they did. Star could also help. Raven had fallen asleep on him so subtlety was out the window. She just really didn’t want Gar to think she was ghosting him.

“Um…” Raven began nervously. “Do you, uh, know how to, like…flirt?”

She felt Sarah, who was now beginning the first braid that would bring her hair back into the space bun, hesitate. “Flirt?” she asked.

“Yeah, um, I just have these…texts and I, uh, don’t really know how to, um…respond,” Raven finished quietly.

“Well…” Sarah said slowly. “It would really depend on who you’re trying to flirt with .”

Raven felt herself flush. She suddenly felt ridiculous. What kind of person didn’t know how to flirt?

Starfire came over and leaned on the back of the couch. “What is this I hear about flirting?”

“Oh, um…” Sarah trailed off, unsure if Raven wanted to clue Starfire in on what was clearly making her uncomfortable.

“I was just asking Sarah how to flirt,” Raven said, staring at the coffee table in front of her.

“Friend Raven!” Starfire beamed. “Who is it that you wish to do the flirting with?”

“We haven’t gotten that far,” Sarah said.

Raven shifted between Sarah’s legs. “Honestly, it’d probably just be easier for you to read.”

She unlocked her phone and opened her conversation with Gar, silently handing it back to Sarah.

When Sarah was done reading, she handed the phone over to Starfire, whose eyebrows immediately shot up her forehead.

“But, Friend Raven,” she began, eyebrows now furrowed, “what does this mean? You fell asleep? And who is this Attenborough and why did Beast Boy have to stop him? Is he a criminal?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was wondering,” Sarah said. “Well, except the Attenborough thing.”

Raven closed her eyes and took a deep breath before taking the two through the events of the previous night, feeling herself slowly turning red. When she was done and saw Starfire’s expression, she was worried that the alien was going to burst with excitement.

“ Friend Raven !” she squealed, floating over the couch and landing beside Sarah.

“Does this mean you have the crush on Friend Beast Boy?” she whispered.

Raven hesitated but decided to throw caution to the wind. Slowly, she nodded.

Starfire squealed again and began lightly smacking Sarah, who was now working on creating the other space bun. “Friend Sarah, is this not the most wondrous news?”

“It is,” Sarah said enthusiastically, “and it really explains a lot. When I got here I went to Vic’s room and he and BB were in there talking about something that had happened last night but I didn’t want to pry.”

“Talking?” Raven said, turning slightly and trying to look at Sarah. “How was he? Beast Boy, I mean… was he, like, annoyed? What’d he say?”

“Oh, um,” Sarah shifted uncomfortably and Raven realized the awkward situation she had just put her in.

“No, nevermind,” Raven said. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that. I don’t expect you to betray their trust.”

Sarah hummed in response and finished the space buns. She patted Raven on the shoulders, indicating she could get up. Raven moved to the couch, a cushion away from Starfire. Sarah had gone to the kitchen and came back with Raven’s bag of makeup. Looking through it, she glanced over at Raven.

“Can I do your makeup, too? There’s a purple highlighter in here that would look killer with that outfit and space buns.”

Raven glanced at Starfire, who was usually the one to do her makeup. “I guess, if Star doesn’t mind.”

“Oh, go ahead, Friend Sarah, I must tend to my cakes,” Starfire said, and, as if on cue, a timer went off in the kitchen. Starfire happily flew away.

“Let’s move to the kitchen so we can all talk,” Sarah suggested. She grabbed the makeup bag and sat at the head of the kitchen table, Raven diagonal from her.

“So,” Raven said. “Multiple cakes?”

“Yes,” Starfire said beaming. “A mustard one for me and then one that is half vanilla and half chocolate for you boring Earthlings.”

“That’s thoughtful of you, Star,” Raven replied with a smile.

Sarah turned Raven to face her and began applying products to her face, tongue poking out slightly.

“We don’t want anything heavy, you’ll just sweat it off,” Sarah said, almost to herself. Raven hummed in response.

“Anyway,” she said, again looking through the bag. “How long have you had this crush on B?”

Starfire edged closer and Raven felt herself blush. She hated being the center of attention.

“Well…” she began. “I realized how I felt about …last June? I think.”

Sarah froze. “That was over a year ago, Raven.”

Raven squirmed. “I know, I just …never planned on actually doing anything about it but the feelings just got to be too much .”

That explanation seemed to satisfy Sarah because she nodded and resumed her work. Starfire spoke up from the kitchen, where she was lathering sickeningly yellow icing on a small cake.

“You said that was when you realized you had the feelings… what do you mean by that?”

Raven cringed. Starfire was more perceptive than she let on.

“Ah, well…you know that, ironically, despite being an empath, I’m not always in tune with my own emotions,” Raven said, tripping over her words. She began fiddling with the hem of her shorts. “So, I’m not really sure when the feelings started. Trust me, I’ve thought about it. A lot. And I just think that, maybe, they’ve always been there. At least, in some type of way. If that makes sense.”

Sarah and Starfire glanced at each other and Raven saw some kind of understanding pass between them.

“What?” Raven asked, suddenly anxious.

Sarah cleared her throat. “You and B have known each other since you were, what? 14? 15?”

“Around there, yeah.”

“So five, six years?”

“Yes?”

Sarah glanced at Starfire again before looking at Raven.

“That’s just a really time for it to only be a crush, Rae,” she said. Starfire nodded.

“I--,” Raven felt very flustered. “I-- I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Sarah said. “I’m not trying to tell you how you feel. I just wanted to give you some perspective, you know, based on my own personal experience.”

“That was also my experience with Dick,” Starfire said, looking up from the second cake.

Raven said nothing. She felt her phone vibrate several times but ignored it. Were they right? Did she … love him? The thought both terrified and exhilarated her.

Sarah put the finishing touches on Raven’s makeup and clapped her hands together twice. “Gorgeous!”

Starfire came over to look. “Oh, yes!” she breathed. “Friend Beast Boy will not be able to keep his eyes off of you,” she added with a devious grin.

Raven flushed and sidestepped the comment. “Speaking of whom, I still haven’t texted him back and I don’t want him to think I’m ignoring him.”

“Oh, right,” Sarah said. “Let’s see those texts again.”

Raven pulled out her phone, unlocked it and handed it to Sarah. She looked at the screen and immediately handed it back. “You have other texts.”

Raven furrowed her eyebrows and opened all of her messages. She had been added to a group chat with Roy and Vic.

Arsenal: Hey Raven so funny thing about that little joke you made about telling Flamebird I’m interested

Arsenal: Turns out she’s finally gotten it through her head that the Dickie-ship has sailed and ain’t never coming back

Arsenal: Bad news is she’s still looking for a little taste of Titans West and Beastie is technically the only single guy there… I heard her tell Lil that she’s looking forward to seeing how “the green one” has filled out

Arsenal: I really don’t think you need to worry tho, I just wanted to give you a heads up. You can always send her to a different dimension… we won’t mind :)

Raven stared at the messages. She felt like she had been doused with cold water, a pit of icy dread forming in her stomach. Flamebird -- Bette Kane was exactly Gar’s type. Tall, blonde, bubbly, and, most importantly, interested. There was no way he would pay attention to her now.

“Friend Raven?” Starfire said, worried. Raven looked up at her and Sarah and, swallowing around the lump in her throat, laid the phone face up on the table so they could read the messages. Getting up, she walked to the kitchen for some water.

“Bette? Seriously ?” Starfire scoffed. “Raven, Friend Roy is right. You have nothing to worry about.” She looked at Sarah. “I will point her out to you when she arrives.”

Sarah nodded. “I’ve been around you and B for a while now and, from what I’ve seen, I have to agree with Star.”

Raven said nothing, her face blank. She sat at the table again and closed the group chat.

“I’ll deal with that later,” she murmured. “Right now, I just need to answer Gar. He can’t think I’m ignoring him.”

The two women huddled around Raven, rereading Beast Boy’s texts.

“Here,” Sarah said, grabbing Raven’s phone and typing something. She turned it around and showed Raven and Starfire.

Beast Boy: Hey, so you fell asleep lol. Sorry I had to go in your room to put you in bed but I promise I didn’t touch anything

Beast Boy: Btw I stopped Attenborough when I saw you were asleep in case you wanted to finish it with me :)

Raven: You can come into my room whenever you want. :)

Raven shook her head. “That’s good, but it doesn’t sound like me. Plus, I don’t use emojis.”

She took her phone and retyped.

Raven: Don’t apologize. I don’t mind.

Raven scrunched her face. That’s not flirting, is it?

Starfire looked over her shoulder. “You don’t mind? Does that mean he can go into your room?”

“I mean, I guess…sometimes,” Raven said, even though she knew the answer was a resounding yes.

Starfire plucked the phone out of Raven’s hands and retyped the message. “How about this?” She showed Sarah and Raven.

Raven: It’s okay, you can come in my room.

Raven blinked, surprised. It was subtle, but not too subtle. Maybe she had been wrong not to come to Star in the first place.

“I like it,” Sarah said, nodding. “But don’t send it yet. We need to figure out what to say to each part of his texts and then bring up the party. You know, remind him that he’s supposed to stick with you and not Bette. ”

Starfire nodded, deep in thought and chewing on a hangnail. Watching them work, Raven suddenly felt like a benchwarmer in a game and felt immensely grateful.

Sarah leaned in to Raven and smiled conspiratorially. “Don’t worry, Rae,” she said. “We’ll get you that walking salad.”

Raven laughed and went so far as to place a hand on top of Sarah’s. She looked up at Starfire.

“Thank you both. Really. I don’t think I would have been able to do this without either of you.”

Sarah slipped her hand overtop of Raven’s and gave it a firm squeeze.

“It is what sisters are for, yes?” Starfire said with a smile. Raven nodded.

They spent the next 15 minutes writing and editing the other texts Raven would send. Finally satisfied, Raven shot them off in rapid succession, heart pounding.

Then, they waited. Several minutes later, he texted back.

Rae Rae: It’s okay, you can come in my room. 

Rae Rae: And I’d like that, but only if I can be the little spoon.

Rae Rae: Also don’t forget the plan for today…white on rice.

Beast Boy: How could I forget? White on rice on a paper plate in the middle of a snow storm, Rae Rae. I got you.

Beast Boy: And if you being the little spoon means I get to hold you again, then I am more than okay with that. :)

The icy pit of dread that had formed in Raven’s stomach melted and she smiled, instinctively hiding it behind her hand.

Sarah saw Raven’s expression. “What? What did he say!?” she asked eagerly.

Raven turned her phone around to show her and Starfire. Sarah began bouncing excitedly in her seat, this time being the one to start lightly smacking Starfire as they read the messages.

“ See !? He totally wants you,” she said to Raven.

Starfire beamed. “I told you, Friend Raven. You have nothing to worry about.”

Raven turned her phone back around and looked at the texts again. They were right. She probably didn’t have anything to worry about. Breathing a sigh of relief, Raven felt like a weight had been lifted off of her.

Chapter Text

Beast Boy walked to the common area, hair still slightly damp from the shower. He had thrown on a heather gray tank top and black athletic shorts, forgoing shoes. He figured he’d change into his actual party outfit as everyone started arriving -- right now, he just wanted to make sure everything was ready in time.

The common area doors hissed open and he walked inside, looking around. Cyborg and Jason were unfolding additional tables for the food and drinks while Sarah sat on the couch, using a helium tank to blow up balloons. Family Feud played quietly on the TV.

Beast Boy snuck up behind Jason and gave him a quick noogie before the younger boy noticed his presence.

“Hey!” Jason protested, shoving the changeling away.

Beast Boy laughed and scanned the room again before turning to Cyborg. “Where’s Rae?”

“She went to get ice,” Cyborg said. He smirked at Beast Boy. “And Star and Dick are getting ready for the party, in case you were wondering.”

“Oh, heh…yeah,” Beast Boy grinned, a hand going to the back of his neck.

Jason glanced between the two men, curious, but quickly lost interest. The tables set up, he walked over to the couch and flopped down near Sarah, eyeing her.

“You have any younger sisters?” he asked.

“Watch it, Todd,” Cyborg warned.

“I’m just asking,” Jason said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

Sarah laughed and smiled at the teen. “I’m afraid not,” she said with an exaggerated frown.

Jason sucked his teeth. “Mmm, too bad. Well, if you ever get tired of the Tin Man you can always look me up in Gotham.” He winked at her.

Sarah snorted and shot a derisive look at her boyfriend. “See, Vic? You better treat me right.”

“ What!? ” Cyborg yelped, incredulous.

Beast Boy started laughing and looked at Jason. “Dude, Sarah ain’t no cradle robber .”

“ Cradle ?” Jason asked, indignant. A blush was creeping up his neck.

“I’m almost 17!” he protested.

“Sure, man,” Beast Boy snickered.

Before Jason could further defend himself, an inky black portal opened in the kitchen and began depositing large bags of ice onto the floor. Raven followed behind, landing on her feet, facing away from the others. She tapped one of the bags with her foot. “I hope this is enough,” she called out to no one in particular.

Raven turned to face the room at large and when her eyes flicked to Beast Boy, he suddenly felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. She looked ethereal. Two adorable buns were side-by-side on the crown of her head, the rest of her deep violet hair cascading down to frame her perfect face. Her large, amethyst eyes were heavily lined in black with a bit of smokey purple eyeshadow playing off the shimmer sitting at the tops of her cheekbones.

His eyes wandered lower, immediately noticing her choice of necklace with a jolt of pride. Then he saw her outfit.

Holy fuck . Was she trying to kill him? There was just so … little of it. Well, less than what he was used to seeing her in. And what was there hugged her curves deliciously . His mouth went dry.

Her clothes would look so much better on his bedroom floor, he thought, and began internally cursing himself for wearing athletic shorts.

Raven felt herself blush. Beast Boy was just standing there staring at her like a deer in the headlights. When she had focused on his emotions she felt the lust rolling off of him in waves. She looked down at herself and then up at him again, suddenly self conscious.

“...Gar?” she asked timidly.

He blinked at her, seeming to snap himself out of whatever trance he had been in. Smiling sheepishly, he slowly walked over to stand next to her, pretending to look at the bags of ice.

“You look … nice ,” he murmured, and cleared his throat.

His proximity and the sound of his low, husky voice sent electricity zinging through her veins and, to her embarrassment, caused her nipples to harden. She crossed her arms.

“Who’s Gar ?” Jason’s voice floated from the couch. Raven saw a look of irritation flash across Beast Boy’s face. Uh oh.

“Beast Boy’s name is Garfield,” Sarah told him quietly.

“Like the cat ? Oh my GOD ,” Jason started laughing raucously. Beast Boy’s look of irritation turned to anger.

“Oh, FUCK OFF ,” Beast Boy snarled, turning and taking a step toward the couch.

Jason immediately stopped laughing, looking a bit shocked. If Beast Boy was able to laugh at anything, it was himself.

Raven quickly stepped in front of Beast Boy, grabbing his arms.

“Hey,” she said quietly, getting him to look at her. She began rubbing her thumbs back and forth across his biceps. “He’s just messing around. He’s not being malicious. He doesn’t know.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds before he nodded and, closing his eyes, took a deep breath. He then looked over at Jason, who appeared mildly concerned for his own wellbeing.

“Sorry, dude, I, uh…shouldn’t have gone off like that,” Beast Boy said, scratching his neck. “My name is -- it’s, uh, just off-limits. Okay?”

Jason hesitated, looking around at the others before making eye contact with the changeling. “Um, yeah, man. I’m sorry, too, I, uh, wouldn’t have said anything if I had known.”

Beast Boy nodded again and turned to the bags of ice. “We should get these out to the coolers,” he said to Raven. He grabbed a few bags and headed for the balcony doors while Raven followed behind, using her powers to carry the rest.

Once they were gone, Jason looked from Cyborg to Sarah. “What the hell was that?”

“His name is one of the only things he has left from his dead parents,” Cyborg said bluntly.

Jason cringed. “Ah, fuck.”

Cyborg just pursed his lips and walked to the pantry to retrieve the hoard of party snacks.

Jason turned to Sarah then, who was finishing up the last few balloons. He jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward the balcony. “Sooo are they …together?”

Sarah hummed and held up a hand, making a so-so gesture. “It’s… in progress? I think?”

“Oh… okay.” Jason made a face and turned to look out the bay glass doors at the pair.

Raven let the bags fall with a thud near the numerous coolers waiting on the balcony. She turned to look at Beast Boy, who hadn’t dropped his yet, his arms straining under their weight.

Azar , she loved his arms.

He put the bags down and, extending a claw, ripped one open, dumping the ice into an open cooler. He then grabbed some bottled drinks and layered them in the ice, before opening the next bag to pour on top.

“You know, I’m kind of disappointed in you,” Raven said, nudging him with her foot. She felt his pang of worry as he looked up at her, eyes slightly wide.

“I apologized,” he said, thinking she was talking about Jason.

“No,” she smiled at how much he didn’t want her to be disappointed in him, “it’s not that.”

“What, then?” Beast Boy stood and took a step closer to her, eyebrows furrowed. She could smell his cologne and it made her head swim.

“Well…,” she eyed him, “I just thought you would have put a little more effort into your party outfit.”

He grinned at her, his bottom fang poking out. “Aw, Rae Rae,” he said in mock disappointment, “you don’t think I look good?” He waggled his eyebrows.

Raven made a show of looking him up and down. He did look good. The gray tank top was form-fitting and showed off his toned physique. She looked up at him innocently.

“Now, I never said that ,” she said. “I was just expecting something with a bit more … pizzazz .” She fluttered her fingers in the air.

Beast Boy chuckled. “Oh, you want pizzazz ? I’ll give you pizzazz.” He winked at her and moved back toward the ice. She moved with him, like he was a magnet and she was pure steel.

Raven felt her phone vibrate and, pulling it out, saw new texts in the group chat with Vic and Roy. She opened them.

Arsenal: I really don’t think you need to worry tho, I just wanted to give you a heads up. You can always send her to a different dimension… we won’t mind :)

Vic: Honestly, Rae, if you heard what he told me earlier you def wouldn’t worry

Arsenal: And what did he tell you this morning?

Vic: Bro-code

Arsenal: I’m a bro >:(

Raven smirked and put her phone away. She studied Beast Boy, who had started filling the coolers again. What had he told Cyborg?

She moved closer to help and while Beast Boy cut the bags and dumped the ice, Raven layered the drinks. As they were finishing the last cooler, one of the balcony doors opened and Dick walked out.

“There he is!” Beast Boy yelled, throwing his hands in the air. “ The birthday boy !”

Dick grinned and Raven walked over to him, opening her arms for his annual hug. He squeezed her tightly before releasing her but she held him at arm's length, looking him up and down. He was wearing a faded American flag muscle tank top and cut off jeans with white Chuck Taylors. Mirrored aviator sunglasses sat perched on top of his head. But something was missing.

Raven looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Where’s your pin?”

Dick dipped his head down in defeat, knowing he’d been caught. “Damn. I was hoping no one would notice.”

Raven crossed her arms as Beast Boy walked up behind her. “You gotta wear the pin, dude!”

“Do I, though?” Dick pleaded.

“ Yes .” Raven and Beast Boy said together.

Dick stared at them and sighed. Shaking his head, he fished a large, round lapel pin out of his front pocket and fastened it over his heart. It had a black background and in bold, neon pink letters outlined in white, it read another year sexier .

Raven smiled sweetly at Dick. “There we go,” she said.

Walking around him, she went back inside. Dick looked at Beast Boy. “How’s everything out here?”

Beast Boy glanced around. Everything looked ready to him. He nodded. “I think it’s ready. The last thing we needed was the ice.”

Dick looked around, taking in all of the decorations. He put a hand behind his head and looked at Beast Boy a little uncomfortably. “I still don’t think you guys should have gone to all this effort--”

Beast Boy cut him off with a wave of his hand. “Ap, ap, ap. None of that humble crap today, Dickie m’boy! Today, you’re gonna get nice and shitfaced and listen to us talk about how much we love you. Got it?” He pointed a playful finger at his leader.

Dick chuckled. “I guess I have no choice.”

“That’s the spirit!” Beast Boy smacked him on the back and turned toward the door. “Besides, after your 21st, no one cares about your birthday anymore. Well, except when you turn 23. But that’s just because no one likes you when you’re 23.”

The pair had started to walk inside when Dick gave Beast Boy a strange look. “Why not?”

Beast Boy stared at Dick for a few seconds, trying to gauge if he was joking. Then he threw his head back and let out a dramatic groan.

Chapter Text

Raven wanted pizzazz and, goshdarnit , she was gonna get it. Beast Boy was rooting through his closet, searching for the final touch to his ensemble.

He was going to look ridiculous . He grinned. She was gonna love it.

He finally found what he was looking for: neon pink shutter shades circa 2008. Perfect.

The first few guests had started to arrive shortly after he and Dick had left the balcony. Assuring Raven he’d be right back , he had run to his room to change.

Now he stood in front of his full-length mirror, grinning at his appearance. It was garish.

He was wearing a two-piece matching set; the top a camp shirt with several buttons done up and the shorts hitting him mid-thigh. They were neon pink -- matching the shutter shades -- and were covered in neon yellow pineapples with neon green leaves. A neon yellow bucket hat hung down his back, the drawstring around his neck. Embroidered on the front of it in bold, white block letters was the phrase in my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Perching the shutter shades on top of his head, he chuckled. It all looked so bad with his green skin. His phone vibrated in his pocket and, pulling it out, he saw a text from Raven. He smiled. So impatient, he thought, and opened it.

Rae Rae: Don and Hank arrived like ten minutes ago and Hank has not stopped ogling me since so I would really appreciate it if you hurried up.

The smile disappeared from Beast Boy’s face and he felt a wave of possessiveness wash over him. Hank better stay the fuck away from her. If he touched her …

Beast Boy’s phone case creaked slightly under his tightened grip and he pushed down the growl growing from deep within his chest. He stowed his phone back in his pocket, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Once he felt calmer, he left his room, heading for the common area.

Beast Boy had been gone all of three minutes and Raven already felt like a fish out of water. Wally West and Frances Kane had been the first to arrive, followed shortly after by Donna Troy. Starfire had greeted them warmly enough for the entire team so Raven didn’t feel bad about hanging back in the kitchen, sipping a red solo cup filled with iced tea. Jason had wandered over and leaned against the counter next to her, taking a swig of a soda. They watched as Joey Wilson and Kole arrived, with Joey signing happy birthday to Dick.

“So, what’s up with you and Beast Boy?” Jason asked.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” Raven said in her monotone.

Jason looked at her, a little confused. “No?”

“Then it must be none of your business.”

Jason huffed and went back to people watching. After a moment, he looked at her again and smirked. “Does that mean I have a chance?”

Raven kept her face blank. “Keep it up and I’ll tell Beast Boy you asked me that.”

Jason balked but then quickly scoffed. “He doesn’t scare me.”

Raven only raised her eyebrows and hummed in response. She took another sip of her iced tea. Don had arrived and, of course, Hank was with him. Raven rolled her eyes. Figures.

The brothers had gone over to browse the alcohol selection and Hank immediately picked something strong. Drink in hand, he stood with Don, Wally, and Frances, who were talking in a group. Hank, however, was preoccupied by openly staring at her body. Raven felt her skin crawl and she shifted uncomfortably. Where the hell was Gar?

She got a distraction with the arrival of Titan’s East. Across the common area, she saw Starfire grab Sarah, whisper something in her ear, and subtly point out Bette. Raven turned her attention to the tall blonde and felt anxiety bloom in her chest. Bette wore white flip flops, denim paper bag shorts and a pastel pink tube top. Her golden hair fell in loose waves to the middle of her back. With her willowy frame, she looked more like a runway model than a superhero.

Raven stared down at herself and suddenly resented her curves. She sighed and took a deep drink of her tea.

“Is there something wrong, my gothic queen?”

Raven looked to her other side and snorted.

“Hello, Roy.”

The archer was leaning with one elbow on the counter, facing her. He was wearing a navy blue Hawaiian shirt open at the front with a white tank top underneath and light gray chino shorts that hit mid-thigh. Raven was pleasantly surprised that, for once, he hadn’t worn anything that clashed with his fiery red hair.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he said with a wink. “And who is this young whippersnapper?” Roy gestured toward Raven’s other side.

Jason raised his soda. “Jason Todd.”

While the two made their introductions Raven realized she could still feel eyes on her. Looking around, she spotted Hank, now on the other side of the room with Aqualad, Karen, and Mal, still ogling her.

Feeling a bit violated, Raven pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Gar before pocketing it again. She then forced herself to focus on the conversation happening in front of her.

“...Arrow’s sidekick? That’s really cool!”

“Yeah, there’s another Speedy now, though, like how you’re the next Robin.”

“Oh, who’s the new Speedy?”

“Snitches end up in ditches, my guy,” Roy grinned. “Say, Rae, where’s that Canada Dry?”

Before Raven could answer, the doors to the hallway hissed open and Beast Boy waltzed into the room. A breathy laugh escaped her at the sight of him and she covered her mouth.

Beast Boy walked over to the kitchen and stopped, staring at Roy. His face was stone cold. Slowly, he turned to Jason.

“Did you let this half-rate, generic ass Robin Hood in here, Jason?” Beast Boy asked, voice dripping with venom.

Roy scoffed and squared up to the green Titan, their noses almost touching. Raven kept her face blank, not wanting to ruin whatever bit this was.

“Says Oscar the Grouch’s inbred cousin,” Roy spat.

Jason gaped at the two men, who looked like they were about to tear each other apart, and then at Raven, who appeared completely unfazed.

“I-- I didn’t--,” he spluttered, on the verge of panic.

Beast Boy was the first to break, a grin slowly creeping across his face. Then the dam broke and he was bent over laughing, clutching his stomach. “Holy shit , dude! Oscar the Grouch’s inbred cousin ! Did you just come up with that?” He straightened up, wiping tears from his eyes.

“What can I say?” Roy shrugged, smirking. “I’m a comedic genius .”

Roy leaned back against the counter. Jason quickly looked between them. “Um, what the fuck ?”

Beast Boy ignored him, focusing on Raven and gesturing to himself. “Well, Rae Rae? Is this enough pizzazz for ya?”

“When I said I was expecting pizzazz, I didn’t mean for you to go mug a frat boy,” Raven deadpanned. Beast Boy giggled.

“I look hot though, right?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Raven hummed, looking him up and down.

You gotta hit on him, and hit on him hard so he knows what you’re doing.

“I’m going to need a spin,” Raven said, making a twirling motion with her finger.

Surprised, Beast Boy looked at Roy. “M’lady has requested a spin.”

“Well, then spin , my good man, spin !” Roy said in a mock posh accent, smacking the counter for emphasis.

Beast Boy spun and then made a dramatic bow, arms extended outwards. Straightening, he looked at Raven. “Hot, right?”

She sipped her tea. “Almost.”

He blanched. “ Almost ?”

Raven handed her cup to Roy and stepped forward, tugging on Beast Boy’s shirt. She began undoing the four buttons he had done up.

“Well, jeez, Rae, if you were going to start undressing me, we could have at least gone to my room first,” Beast Boy said with a smirk.

Raven paused, looking him in the eyes and keeping her face blank so he wouldn't be able to tell if she was joking. “Later.”

Behind her, she heard Jason choke on his drink.

She stepped back and appraised him again, his shirt now hanging open, torso exposed. She nodded approvingly. “There we go.”

Raven felt proud of herself when Beast Boy’s ears turned a deep green. She turned to Roy. “Although, I am a bit concerned.”

“As you should be,” Roy said, playing along.

“So he doesn’t have it?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

Beast Boy looked confused. Raven turned back to him. “You really need to start carrying your license.”

“My license?” Beast Boy scrunched up his face.

“Yes, your license,” Raven took a step closer to him. “You can get in a lot of trouble without it.”

“What license are you talking about?” he asked, looking down at her.

Raven reached forward and lightly squeezed both of his arms, then looked up at him innocently. “For these guns.”

Beast Boy blinked at her, then a boyish grin consumed his face.

"You got me, Rae," he chuckled, throwing a lazy arm around her shoulders and bringing her to stand next to him. "You really had me going there."

He pointed at Roy. "Dude, did you let her get wasted already ?"

Roy held a hand up in defense. "Hey, I just got here."

Beast Boy took Raven's cup from him, sniffed the contents, and took a sip. He made a face of disgust.

" Tea ? Rae Rae, now is not the time to be a fucking square ."

Raven huffed and took her cup from him. "You would have been upset if I had started without you," she grumbled.

Beast Boy bobbed his head to the side. "Yeah, no, you're right."

He turned back to Roy. "How about you and I go make up three drinks and you can get your Canadian fix?" He then looked at Jason and tapped Raven on the nose. "And you keep an eye on this one until we get back."

Raven rolled her eyes and shrugged out from under Beast Boy's arm, retaking her spot leaning against the counter beside Jason.

"Wait, I'm not legal," Jason said, holding up his soda.

Beast Boy gave him a strange look. "Uhhh, neither are we? It's not like you're going anywhere tonight. Besides, we gotta put some hair on your chest before you go back to ole Batty."

Roy snickered and the two walked away toward the alcohol table together, Jason staring after. He then glanced at Raven, who had resumed sipping her tea.

"I'll be honest, I have no idea where I stand with him."

"Beast Boy?"

"Yeah."

Raven hummed, thinking it over. "If he messes with you, that means he likes you…or you're at least growing on him. If he ignores you, or is overly cordial, then you should be worried."

Jason nodded, mulling over her words.

"I think that bit with Roy and the chest hair comment means you're at least growing on him," Raven said, trying to reassure the younger boy.

Jason nodded again. "I hope so," he said quietly.

Raven allowed herself a small smile as she watched Roy and Gar discuss what type of alcohol to include in the mixed drinks.

Then Bette Kane walked up beside them.

" Uh oh ," Jason joked, elbowing Raven. "Looks like you have competition ."

Bette hooked her arm through Gar's and leaned into him and Raven felt her heart drop.

Chapter Text

"I always preferred rum and Coke," Roy shrugged and grabbed a can of ginger ale.

"Yeah, but if you use cherry Coke with some Jack Daniels, it's," Beast Boy made a chef's kiss motion.

"Whatever tickles your pickle, Beastie, I'm just along for the ride."

Roy opened his soda and took a drink, then looked pointedly at the changeling.

"So, are we gonna talk about how hard Raven just hit on you orrr…"

Beast Boy's cheeks turned a dark green and he chuckled nervously.

"Heh, yeah, that was weird, right?"

Roy pursed his lips and tapped his soda can against his chin.

"Mmm, not really. I think she's into you, man. Like really into you."

Beast Boy said nothing, trying not to get his hopes up.

As he reached for the large, unopened bottle of whiskey he felt a sudden presence next to him. He decided to ignore it, focusing on making the drinks. Then he stiffened as he felt an arm slip around his and a thin body press against his side. His heightened sense of smell told him it definitely wasn't Raven.

He looked over and saw Bette smiling at him, batting her eyes.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. Oh God. Raven was going to see.

"Hi, BB, long time, no see," Bette said, leaning further into him.

"Uhhhhhh, yeah ," Beast Boy said tersely. He looked down at his arm and back up at Bette. "Can I have my arm back?"

Bette giggled and wrapped her arm around his tighter, her hand resting on his bicep, and used her free hand to grab his. Beast Boy felt a flash of irritation.

Bette squeezed his arm.

"Mmm, you must be working out," she said, biting her bottom lip.

Beast Boy looked at Roy, who was watching with mild disgust, and then back at Bette.

"Yeah," he said. "Goes with the job."

Bette laughed again, bringing her forehead down to rest on Beast Boy's shoulder. He tried to lean away but her grip was too firm, irritating him further.

"You're so funny ," Bette said, looking back up at him. She was all smiles.

Beast Boy just stared at her.

" Christ , Bette, can't you see he's trying to do something?" Roy asked, not trying to hide his distaste.

Bette's expression soured as she looked at her teammate . "And what are you doing over here, Roy? What happened to your sobriety ?"

Roy bristled and held up his soda, gesturing to it. " Nothing ," he hissed.

" Yet ," Bette spat.

At that moment, Beast Boy hated her. He jerked his arm free. 

"Yeah, you can fuck right off," he snapped before turning his back on her.

He sensed her surprise as she hesitated. After a few moments, she huffed and stormed off.

"Don't listen to her," Beast Boy said, putting a hand on Roy's shoulder. "She's just a bitch."

Roy was quiet, a faraway look in his eyes. "Is she really wrong though?" he finally asked.

Beast Boy furrowed his eyebrows in concern and took a step closer. "What? Of course she's not."

Roy began fiddling with the tab of his soda can and remained silent for a few more moments. "It's just… hard sometimes. Especially at things like this ," he gestured around at the party, "but I wanted to come for Dick. And to see you guys."

He wet his lips and looked down at his feet.

"You know I thought about wearing a long sleeved shirt to hide the track marks? But I was afraid someone would comment on it because it's July and hot as balls." He laughed bitterly. "But, of course, someone had to make a comment anyway. Never fails."

Roy swallowed hard and looked at Beast Boy, shaking his head. “Sorry… I’m really bringing the mood down.”

This time, Beast Boy was the one to shake his head. "No, don’t apologize. I’m always here to listen. Anytime, anywhere. Honest.”

Roy nodded and gave a weak smile. "Thanks, man."

Beast Boy smiled back and squeezed his shoulder. Then, he moved to put the whiskey back. "And I'm gonna be sober with you tonight."

Roy looked surprised. “What? No, no, you don’t have to do that. Seriously. I know you’ve been looking forward to this.”

Beast Boy looked at him, still concerned. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, honestly, it’d just make me feel bad,” Roy said. Then he chuckled. “Besides, Beastie, you’re, like, the funniest fucking drunk I’ve ever been around so, really, I’d be depriving myself of some grade A entertainment.”

“Alright… if you say so,” Beast Boy grinned and opened the whiskey. He began pouring varying amounts into three red solo cups with no attempts to measure.

He turned back to Roy, serious again. “If this,” he gestured around at the party, “gets to be too much, you can crash in my room. There’s a sofa, TV, video games, movies, the works. I’ll text you the door code.”

Roy patted him on the back. “You’re a real one, Beastie.”

Beast Boy just nodded as he opened a can of cherry Coke. “I try.”

He finished mixing the drinks and looked over to where they had left Raven and Jason. The teen, seeing him looking, gave him a ‘sup nod, while Raven was looking across the room with an expression of unease. Beast Boy followed her line of sight and saw that Hank had started walking toward the kitchen. Not today, asshole.

Looking back at Jason, he made a ‘come here’ motion. The younger boy caught on immediately and, tapping Raven and pointing, the pair made their way over.

Raven watched with a growing ache in her chest as Beast Boy said something to Bette, causing the pretty blonde to hold on to him tighter, lean in closer, grab his hand, squeeze his bicep.

She went numb when Bette laughed and put her head on his shoulder, leaning in even more until there was no space left between them.

Raven looked away, swallowing around the lump in her throat. She briefly considered focusing on his emotions but was terrified of what she might find.

She heard Jason making idle conversation but couldn't hear him, only aware of the blood rushing in her ears and the pain in her chest.

Nothing to worry about. Right.

He hadn't pulled away. He had made her laugh .

She knew she didn't stand a chance and yet she had still gotten her hopes up.

Raven chastised herself. She had no right to feel this way. They weren't together. She didn't own him. He could do whatever he wanted.

She clenched her jaw, the numbness overwhelming. Her eyes burned as she stared a hole into the counter in front of her.

Then she felt it. That violating stare . She looked up and scanned the room, careful to avoid where Roy and Beast Boy were standing, and saw Hank had come inside from the balcony. Seeing her with only Jason, he began walking toward the kitchen.

Great. That was exactly what she needed.

She shrank back into the counter slightly when she felt Jason tap her on the shoulder. Looking at him, she saw him pointing toward Roy and Beast Boy, the latter of which was making a 'come here' gesture, drinks at the ready. Bette was gone, she noted, probably to retrieve something before coming back.

Raven sighed and pushed off the counter to follow Jason. She couldn't bring herself to look at the changeling and instead of standing next to him, she opted to stand between Roy and the table, avoiding Beast Boy's gaze. She just didn't want to be near him when Bette came back.

Raven knew today wouldn't go well. Maybe she could still sneak back to her room…

She was sure Beast Boy wouldn't notice with Bette wrapped around him. The thought sent a knife through her heart.

Roy glanced at her sideways and furrowed his eyebrows, obviously suspicious of her decision to stand next to him. She kept her face blank.

Beast Boy cleared his throat. "So, ah, pick your poison," he said, gesturing toward the identical cups.

Raven silently selected one, not tasting it. Beast Boy noticed with a twinge that she wouldn't look at him. His heart sank. How much had she seen?

Roy began fiddling with the tab of his soda again. Jason, noticing the tension, attempted to break it by grabbing one of the drinks and taking a large gulp. His face puckered and he turned his face to the side.

"Holy shit , B, how strong did you make this?"

Beast Boy just grinned. "Dunno, didn’t measure."

Raven cautiously sniffed her drink and took a small sip. "Yup… I am going to die," she said, barely above a whisper.

Beast Boy giggled and grabbed his own drink. Taking a chance, he walked around Roy to stand by Raven and put an arm around her shoulders.

She blushed, feeling incredibly confused.

Beast Boy took a swig of his drink and smacked his lips. "Ahhh, c'mon, that's fine ."

"If you like a little Coke with your whiskey," Raven muttered. Jason snorted.

Beast Boy beamed at her and squeezed her shoulder. Butterflies erupted in her stomach.

"Now, now, kiddies, before you down that sweet nectar of the Gods, we should probably go eat something," Roy said.

"Ohhh, yeah, Cy and Wally are outside grilling," Beast Boy said.

Jason looked surprised. "Dick's not grilling?"

"It's his birthday, he's not allowed to do jack ," Roy said.

Beast Boy chuckled and began steering Raven toward the balcony doors. She didn’t resist. Once outside, the group found an empty table under a cabana with two-seater sofa benches on each side.

Raven noticed that Roy purposefully got in Jason's way so that when she put her drink down at a seat, Beast Boy was able to immediately put his down at the seat right next to it.

When they began walking over to the food and, as Beast Boy again put his arm around her shoulders again, she found she couldn't help herself.

"I thought you'd want a bench with an open seat for Bette," she said quietly.

Ah, so she had seen both too much and not enough, he thought.

"No," he said firmly, pulling her in closer. "She's a bitch."

Raven looked at him, surprised. He rarely talked about people that way.

"She implied some fucked up stuff about Roy," he said under his breath so his voice wouldn't carry.

Oh, so he only didn't like her for Roy's sake. Raven felt slightly disappointed.

"I also have everything I want right here ," he said, smiling at her and squeezing her shoulder.

She smiled back and felt the warmth slowly returning to her chest. Emboldened, she slipped an arm around his waist and focused on his emotions.

First, she felt his immense relief, followed by joy, and the now-familiar love and affection.

Chapter Text

A couple hours had passed and the party was in full swing, with Titans and a handful of meta-human gatecrashers mingling in the common area and on the balcony.

At the table under the cabana, Roy now sat next to Jason, the small group having been joined by Cyborg, Sarah, Dick, and Starfire. Except for Roy, they were all three or four Beast-Boy-esque mixed drinks deep.

"I think the heat has fried your brain, green bean, because you have never been more wrong in your life and it is just absurd to me that you can't see it," Cyborg said angrily.

Raven, who was now sporting Beast Boy's neon pink shutter shades, began giggling uncontrollably, the sound delighting the changeling. His arm had long since migrated south and was now snaked around her waist, his hand gripping her upper thigh. She had an arm around his neck and he could feel the giggles shaking her body, which was pressed into his side.

Beast Boy held up his free hand in a philosophical pose. "But what is lasagna if not the culmination of its many, saucy layers?"

Raven's giggles turned into full-bellied laughs, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She hid her face in his neck.

" Stop ," she gasped, "I can't breathe ."

Beast Boy looked down at her, eyes full of adoration.

"I am a bit worried about Friend Raven," Starfire said quietly, looking around the table with furrowed eyebrows. "I have never seen her like this."

Beast Boy waved her away. "Ahhh, she's just having fun, Star."

Raven now had her head back against the sofa, drink in hand, her laughs subsiding to quiet giggles.

"How can I get a hot girl to cling on to me like that?" Jason whispered to Roy, who just smirked into his soda.

Dick set down his beer with a thud and crossed his arms, the serious expression on his face juxtaposed by the pin he still wore and Beast Boy's bucket hat that Raven had forcibly put on him.

He looked at Cyborg and held up his hand. "I just don't see how it could be more than one lasagna."

Cyborg's jaw hit his chest as Beast Boy let out a loud "HA!"

Raven patted Beast Boy's bare chest. "Good job,” she slurred, “prouda'you.”

Beast Boy looked at her. "You are hammered ," he chuckled. She just smiled at him.

"Don't congratulate him yet , Rae," Cyborg said. "Unfortunately, it appears that Richard here has suffered a traumatic brain injury."

He looked around at the others. "What say the rest of ye?"

"Well," Jason started drumming his fingers on the table, "how many layers does a regulation lasagna have?"

" Regulation lasagna ," Raven breathed and started laughing again, this time leaning forward and placing her forehead on the table. Beast Boy rubbed her back lovingly.

Jason looked at her, eyebrows raised. "I made you laugh, Raven…wanna come sit with me now? Get outta here, Roy."

"I will literally throw you in the Pacific, kid," Beast Boy warned.

Raven sat up again and looked at Jason. "Sorry, you're just not green enough for me," she deadpanned.

She took a sip of her drink and leaned back into the changeling, closing her eyes. Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at Jason, who made a face back.

"According to Google, a traditional lasagna should have a minimum of three layers of noodles," Sarah said, reading from her phone. "Some sources say there are no maximum layers of noodles, while others say the maximum is five and still others say to just fill your tray."

"Okay, but is a traditional lasagna the same as a regulation lasagna?" Roy asked.

"Are the words not synonymous?" Starfire countered.

"Not necessarily," Dick said, hand on his chin.

"Lemme pull up Miriam-Webster," Sarah murmured.

“Man, you got my girl pulling up a dictionary at a party ,” Cyborg said, exasperated.

Beast Boy just sat there, grinning and basking in the chaos he had created.

"You're so cute when you smile like that," Raven whispered, her head on his shoulder.

His heart swelled and he squeezed her thigh. She wriggled closer to him, breathing him in, a small smile on her face.

"Okay," Sarah said. "Miriam-Webster says that the definition of traditional is 'adhering to past practices or established conventions' while the definition of regulation is 'an authoritative rule dealing with details or procedures.'"

"Who has authoritative rule over lasagna?" Jason asked.

Roy scoffed. " Obviously the Italians. C'mon."

"Anybody know an Italian?" Cyborg asked.

"Yeah, dude, lemme just call up Mario," Beast Boy quipped. Dick snorted and Raven started giggling again.

"I've heard just about enough outta you," Cyborg said, pointing a threatening finger at the changeling.

"Ohhhhh, I'm shaking ," Beast Boy said, raising his free hand in mock fear.

"What the hell am I walking into?" Wally hopped up onto the wall running around the edge of the balcony, on the outer edge of which stood tall metal railing. His knees were now level with Beast Boy's head.

Wally reached down and helped Francis jump up next to him.

"Hold that thought!" Beast Boy yelled, holding up his cup. "I'm empty."

He extracted his arm from around Raven, who immediately missed his warmth. Before he could stand, she tapped him and tapped her cup.

"I guess Raven needs another drink, too, and probably some water ," he said.

Raven tried to scowl at him but found it difficult.

"Anyone else need a refill?" Beast Boy asked, looking around. Everyone nodded.

"Right…time for Mr. Octopus Arms," he said as he got up and walked toward the door.

Beast Boy walked over to the alcohol table and waved at Donna, who was several feet away looking at the different bottles of vodka. She smiled and wiggled her fingers back.

"How's Terry?" he asked, looking for a bottle of water for Raven.

"Good, he's up for tenure at NYU," she said.

He paused and looked at her, eyebrows raised. " Wow. That's awesome! Congratulations."

"Thanks," she smiled, showing her dimples. "I see you're finally getting close to a certain someone. It's about time."

"Heh…yeah," he scratched the back of his neck, suddenly nervous. "I'm hoping, ah… maybe tonight, something will… um…" he trailed off awkwardly, looking at the ground.

Donna furrowed her eyebrows. "Don't overthink it… she likes you. I can tell from her body language and, you know, the fact that she's been glued to you all day."

He looked at her and smiled weakly. "Yeah… thanks. Just, uh, don't say anything to her, okay? Please?"

Donna made a zipping motion over her lips before going back to browsing the vodka.

Beast Boy opted for bottled beverages this time around for ease of transport and had just lined up Raven's water and Roy's ginger ale when he felt a particularly unwanted presence at his side.

"Hey, you," Bette said.

Beast Boy closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

He looked over at her, letting the annoyance show on his face. " What ?"

Bette tapped her chin, as if thinking over his short question, and then gestured toward the hallway door.

"How about giving me a tour?" she asked. She then reached forward and tried to trace a line down his naked torso but he pushed her hand away.

"No," he said. "Leave me alone."

Bette scoffed. "You know you would have a helluva lot more fun with me than that witch out there."

Beast Boy bristled at the way she referred to Raven.

"It's actually really fucking pathetic that you think your bland looks make up for your shitty personality," he said, voice as cold as ice.

She smirked, undeterred. "Don't act like you don't want me."

He turned back to the drinks and morphed his arms into large octopus tentacles, carefully wrapping them around the glass bottles. "Not acting."

Bette took a step closer. "I know you want me."

"I cannot stress enough to you how much I do not ," he said, brushing past her and heading back outside.

Raven used the fact that she was wearing mirrored shutter shades to her advantage by staring at Beast Boy’s ass as he walked away. She smirked. Dick’s mandatory regimen of deadlifts and squats were definitely paying off.

She pushed the shades to the top of her head and downed the rest of her drink, using her powers to toss her cup in the garbage. She then leaned back and closed her eyes, enjoying the sound of idle conversation around her.

“That seat’s open, yeah?”

Raven stiffened. She didn’t have to look to know it was Hank. An older, burly man, there was something about Hank that gave Raven -- who literally brought about the apocalypse -- the heebie-jeebies.

“B’s coming back,” Cyborg said.

“Who?” Hank asked, despite knowing exactly who Cyborg meant.

Raven glanced over and cringed. He was leaning against the wall right next to her.

“Beast Boy,” she said.

“Oh,” he said, and leaned down so his face was level with hers. He smirked. “What’s he got that I don’t?”

“A lot of things.”

“Like?”

Feeling incredibly annoyed and uncomfortable, Raven scowled at him. “Well, he’s green, has fangs, pointy ears, the ability to turn into animals…”

Roy snickered.

“You’re implying those are good things?” Hank leered.

Raven felt a flash of anger. She was way too drunk for this. 

“He can also take a fucking hint , ” she snapped.

“Oh, shit ,” Jason said while Cyborg, Roy, and Wally cracked up.

Hank opened his mouth to retort but Dick cut him off.

"Leave her alone, Hank," he said. "She's not interested."

He was glaring at the larger man, not as Dick Grayson, but as Nightwing, and even Hank wasn't foolhardy enough to challenge him. Dick didn't break his stare until Hank had straightened and hopped up onto the wall, although he was still technically next to Raven.

Dick gave Raven a look that asked if she was okay. She responded with a small smile and subtle nod.

Then it hit her -- what it was about Hank that gave her the heebie-jeebies. He only listened when a man told him 'no.' And not just any man -- it had to be someone like Dick, who Hank felt was superior to himself. A type of alpha . The presence of Cyborg, Roy, Jason, and Wally hadn't deterred him at all.

A chill ran down her spine.

A few minutes later, Beast Boy returned, snapping Raven out of her reverie. He began handing out beverages and Raven felt Hank staring at her.

She shifted uncomfortably, the hair standing up on the back of her neck.

Beast Boy noticed and, still holding a few drinks in his now-human hands, came up next to her.

“Scoot,” he said. She obliged, moving over next to Wally, more than happy to have Beast Boy between her and Hank.

He sat down and held up a fruity wine cooler for her to see. “ This is for you,” he then held up a bottle of water, “and this is for you.” He set them down on the table in front of her.

“Boooo,” she said quietly and smiled at him.

“Hush,” Beast Boy said, snaking his arm around her waist and pulling her in as close as she was before, hand again gripping her upper thigh. He grinned at her, a fang poking out.

Raven blinked. Azar, maybe Sarah and Starfire were right and she was in love with him.

“Okay,” Wally smacked the wall he was sitting on, “what the hell were you guys talking about? Sounded like it was getting pretty heated.”

Cyborg leaned back and crossed his arms, raising his eyebrow at the changeling. “ You tell ‘im.”

Beast Boy looked overjoyed at the prospect. He gently pulled his arm free from Raven. “Sorry, Rae Rae, I need both arms for this.”
She huffed and crossed her arms.

Beast Boy shifted his body so he could better see Wally and held up his hands side-by-side, palms facing the ground. “Alright. Picture this, Wallace. You got two lasagnas, yeah?”

Wally nodded. Beast Boy then moved one of his hands, placing it on top of the other, both still facing the ground. “Okay, so you take one of the lasagnas and you put it on top of the other. You still with me here?”

Wally nodded, face a mask of concentration like he was following a complex math equation.

“Now, I ask you, do you still have two lasagnas or one, large lasagna?” Beast Boy finished. Raven immediately tugged on his shirt sleeve, craving his touch. He happily complied, once again pulling her into his embrace.

Cyborg opened his mouth to say something but Beast Boy held up his hand, silencing everyone, eagerly awaiting Wally’s decision. The speedster was deep in contemplation, hand on his chin, staring at the ground. He then leaned over and began whispering with Fran, nodding and hands gesturing before they appeared to come to a consensus.

Wally looked around at the gathered Titans and finally focused on Beast Boy. “Yeah, dude, you’d have one big-ass lasagna.”

Cries of protest mixed with cheers of elation as Beast Boy yelled at Cyborg to suck it and Cyborg asked Wally if he had been dropped on the head as an infant.

"Alright, alright, alright ," Roy said loudly, holding up his arms in an attempt for calm. "We need to get to the bottom of this. It's tearing the very foundation of the Titans organization asunder."

The commotion had drawn in other party-goers and soon the table was also surrounded by Don, Jinx, Karen, Mal, Lilith, Garth, Donna and, to Raven's chagrin, Bette.

Raven opened the drink Beast Boy had brought her and took a long swig from it.

"Easy there, killer," he whispered, giving her another squeeze. "I don't want to have to peel you off the floor later."

She smiled at him and patted his face, their noses inches apart. "You'll just have to carry me, then."

He just stared at her, looking slightly dazed.

"Okay, so, we all know why Beastie is of the firm belief that stacking one lasagna on top of the other would result in one, mega-lasagna," Roy pointed at the changeling.

Beast Boy nodded, suddenly serious. "Infinite layers of noodles."

Cyborg scoffed, muttering "preposterous" under his breath. Raven started giggling again, putting an arm around Beast Boy's neck.

"Now, Cyborg -- Victor Stone, if you will -- why do you believe there would still, in fact, be two lasagnas?" Roy asked, his elbows resting on the table, fingers tented.

"Because he's wrong ," Beast Boy said. Cyborg glared at him.

"Don't think having Raven there will save you," Cyborg said.

"Oh, but it will," Beast Boy said, then turned to Raven. "Right, Rae Rae?" He waggled his eyebrows.

Raven held up her free hand and wiggled her fingers, which emitted black sparks of energy.

"Man, she's so far gone she'd send you to the 7th circle of hell," Jason laughed.

"That's the worst one , too," Raven said before giggling uncontrollably again, hand covering her mouth.

Beast Boy silently leaned forward, opened the bottle of water, and swapped it out for the drink she was holding.

"Cyborg?" Roy said, futilely trying to keep things on track.

“Well, if the peanut gallery is finished --” Cyborg looked pointedly at Beast Boy, who just grinned, “-- it is common knowledge that a lasagna’s topmost layer of cheese is the crispiest since it is cooked uncovered for at least 25 minutes. This crispy cheese would create a distinct demarcation between the two stacked lasagnas, indicating where one began and another ended rather than presenting as a seamless repetition of noodles, sauce, meat, and cheese.”

Cyborg leaned back and crossed his arms, looking smug.

“Interesting,” Dick said, then drained his beer and quickly opened another.

“Indeed,” Roy said. “A strong argument, for sure. But let’s get a new perspective, from someone who hasn’t voiced their opinion on the matter…”

He turned to Raven and smiled. “Rae?”

She looked up at him and then around at the crowd that was now watching her, temporarily caught off guard. Then she shrugged, like the answer was obvious. “One lasagna,” she said simply.

“ God , you’re perfect,” Beast Boy whispered, making Raven blush.

“Oh, of course the walking salad’s girlfriend is going to agree with him!” Cyborg threw his hands up in protest, looking to Roy like he was some type of moderator in this debate.

Girlfriend. Beast Boy nervously watched Raven out of the corner of his eye, waiting for her to react, to correct Cyborg.

But… she didn’t. At least, not about the girlfriend thing.

“I am capable of making up my own mind, thank you,” Raven scowled at Cyborg.

“Care to explain your position on the matter?” Roy asked, a twinkle in his eye.

Raven huffed and took a drink of water before frowning at the bottle and swapping it for the wine cooler. Beast Boy grimaced.

“For starters, despite Cyborg presenting what he said as fact, it is actually a matter of opinion and personal preference,” Raven said, looking the mecha in the eye. Beast Boy watched her, suddenly enraptured.

"Cooking a lasagna uncovered for any length of time is optional," Raven continued. "Therefore, that line of demarcation is not always present."

She paused and took another drink, then pointed her bottle at Cyborg.

"Consider this: legos," she said.

Cyborg stared at her, flabbergasted. " Legos ?"

"Yes," Raven nodded, "legos. You take some legos and stack them, one on top of the other. You now have a lego tower. You pull the lego tower in two. You now have two lego towers. You put the one lego tower back on top of the other. You have one lego tower again. The color or shape of the legos doesn't matter. It works for any building material, really. Brick, wood…"

Raven shrugged and downed the rest of her drink, then used the bottle to boop Beast Boy on the nose.

Cyborg smirked. "But if you pulled the lego tower apart, you'd be left with individual lego blocks. Or, a buncha lasagnas. Meaning, you're stacking a buncha separate lasagnas on toppa each other."

"Mmmmmm, no," Raven said. "The individual lego blocks are the materials needed to build the larger structure -- the lego tower. They are the meat, cheese, sauce, and noodles needed to build one big lasagna. You cannot have a lego tower with just one block. You cannot have a lasagna with just one noodle."

Raven mimicked Beast Boy by placing one hand palm-down on top of the other. 

"One lasagna," she said.

Beast Boy, wearing a shit-eating grin, turned to Cyborg, who struggled for a few moments to come up with a counter-argument.

"Wellll?" Beast Boy asked smugly.

Cyborg looked at him and then at Raven, before glancing over at Roy, who just shrugged. He held up his hands in defeat and slowly laid his head down on the table.

Raven leaned into Beast Boy.

"How'd I do?" she whispered, smiling at him.

He turned to her, beaming. "Oh yeah, I'm totally gonna marry you one day."

Raven's smile faltered as she felt a prickle of shock. " What ?"

Beast Boy started laughing at the look on her face and pulled her closer. "I'm not even kidding either," he chuckled gleefully.

" Gar !" she tried to sound indignant but it came out as a laugh as she gently pushed his face away. She pulled the shutter shades down in an attempt to hide her burning cheeks.

"Ah, ah, ah," Beast Boy whispered, taking the shades and putting them on his own head. "I wanna see those gorgeous eyes."

This time she hid her face in her hands, making him laugh harder.

"All right, let's put it to a vote!" Roy stood and addressed the gathered crowd, clapping his hands once. "If you think you'd have one mega-lasagna, please raise your hand!"

Everyone raised their hand except Cyborg, who rolled his head to the side to look at Sarah. "Et tu?" he whispered.

She smiled at him apologetically.

"Sorry, Cy, m'man, but it looks like you have been voted off the island," Roy said, hands on his hips.

Cyborg just grumbled incoherently. Sarah patted his shoulder.

"The debate is over then, yes?" Starfire asked, looking around the table.

"It would appear so, Star," Dick said, smiling at his girlfriend.

"Wonderful! Then it is time for the cake and the roasting of Dick!" Starfire cried happily.

Dick blanched. "Wait, what?"

Beast Boy chuckled. "I told you that you were gonna get nice and shitfaced and listen to us talk about how much we love you."

"But she said roast ," Dick looked at him, apprehensive.

"Yeeeaaah," Roy cut in, " Anyway, get up, pretty boy. There's no escaping it now."

Dick looked around and realized he had been strategically placed in the back corner of the balcony, surrounded by the other Titans. He sighed and looked at Starfire. "...fine."

She squealed with joy and shot off to get the cake.

Chapter Text

Starfire quickly returned with the chocolate and vanilla monstrosity she had created earlier, 21 birthday candles sticking haphazardly out of it. She lit them all simultaneously with a quick flick of the wrist, then looked at Dick to see what he thought.

He beamed at her and pulled her into his lap, planting a soft kiss on her neck. “It looks amazing, Star,” Dick murmured. “Thank you.”

Starfire’s smile was radiant as she gazed at him lovingly. The rest of the Titans gathered around and, at Starfire’s insistence, sang happy birthday, with Beast Boy and Roy being particularly loud and off-key.

“Alright, nobody move!” Cyborg said, having seemingly recovered from what would later become known as the Lasagna Incident.

He walked around to a clear spot and tapped his arm, opening a compartment to reveal a camera and small tripod. Setting them up, he pressed a button on the camera and ran back to his spot next to Sarah. “Everybody smile!”

With where the camera was positioned, Beast Boy had to directly face Raven to see it, and was looking at the back of her head. Making a split-second decision, he reached forward and grabbed her waist, pulling her back into his lap. She made a soft sound of surprise but otherwise didn’t resist, allowing him to wrap his arms around her and press his grinning face right up next to hers. He saw out of the corner of his eye that her cheeks were flushed again and he felt a bit proud of himself for getting such a reaction out of the usually stoic Titan.

Raven had quickly recovered from her initial surprise and relaxed into Beast Boy’s arms, managing to smile in time for the picture.

Her heart was racing and she was sure he could feel it. Her back was pressed into his chest and thanks to her decisions to both wear a small, lacy top and completely unbutton his shirt earlier, she was now getting much more skin-on-skin contact than she had anticipated.

Raven could still feel the phantom impressions of his strong hands firmly gripping her waist, how easily he had been able to pull her back into him, how easily he had been able to take control of her. Her blush deepened as excitement coursed through her veins and heat began to build between her legs.

She peeked sideways at him, wondering if he could feel that , too. If he could, he gave no indication.

Beast Boy smiled at her. “Best seat in the house, eh?” he winked. Raven just smirked and nestled back into him as he had made no move to release her.

He squeezed her lightly and began rubbing his thumb back and forth against part of her exposed stomach. This seemingly-innocent display of affection only furthered her torment as she started feeling tingling sensations under her bra, aching for him to move his hands up just a little…

Was she really so touch-starved that this was all it took to get her worked up?

Raven reached over and grabbed Beast Boy’s drink, downing it in one large gulp.

He looked at her, surprised. “Uh, sure, Rae, you can have a sip,” he chuckled.

“If whoever wants cake, has cake, we should start making our way over to the roasting area,” Cyborg said, acting as crowd control.

“There’s a designated area?” Dick asked, incredulous.

“You also get a crown,” Starfire said with a devilish grin, plucking the bucket hat off his head and tossing it to Beast Boy, who deftly caught it. He put the drawstring around Raven’s neck, letting it fall to the side so as not to ruin her space buns.

“I never agreed to this,” Dick said, looking around for a possible escape route.

“Hmmmm,” Starfire hummed, finger on her chin. “If I remember correctly, about five or ten minutes ago, you said ‘fine.’ Now, I know English is not my first language, but I believe that is what you native-speakers might call ‘consent.’”

She smiled sweetly at him.

He just stared at her, knowing he had no way out.

Beast Boy leaned into Raven. “Do you need me to carry you?” he whispered.

The feeling of his hot breath in her ear made her break out in goosebumps.

She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “I’ll leave that up to you,” she said.

Beast Boy shifted her off his lap and stood. In one fluid motion, he scooped her up like a groom carrying his bride. “There’s my drunk little poblano,” he said with a grin. She let out a breathy laugh, feeling lightheaded and giddy.

He carried her to the other side of the large balcony, close to where Jason and Roy had hurriedly set up the make-shift dais. One of Raven’s overstuffed reading chairs sat on top, acting as a sort of throne. He sat her in the shade on the balcony wall near the front while other partygoers brought over chairs, hopped up onto the wall themselves or simply sat on the ground.

“Hey,” Beast Boy said quietly, trying to draw her attention back to him. She focused on his face and brought her hands up to cup it, a thumb lazily running over his cheek.

He smiled at her and covered her hands with his. “Are you good? Do you need anything? Food, drink?”

She thought for a moment, almost losing herself in his deep green eyes. “Thirsty,” she said.

“If I bring you another water, will you actually drink it this time?”

Raven nodded. She was starting to feel a dull throbbing in her temple.

“Okay,” he said, grinning. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move, don’t talk to strangers, don’t eat the yellow snow.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed, walking away. She leaned against the metal railing behind her, closing her eyes, already missing him.

“Honestly, Raven, I don’t think you really need any wingmen.”

Raven opened an eye. Roy had brought over a chair, setting it by her with enough room between them for the changeling.

“Things are going a lot better than I expected,” she said, eye closing again.

“It’s that liquid courage,” Roy said, sitting down and pulling out his phone.

Beast Boy returned, water in one hand and a beer in the other. He opened the water for Raven and handed it off, watching in mild concern as she chugged half the bottle.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Hmmm?” she hummed, wiping her mouth and looking at him. “Yeah, I just -- I think I need to take a break.”

Beast Boy nodded and, instead of hopping up next to her like she expected, he remained standing and wiggled his way between her legs, back facing her. He opened his beer and took a drink, flicking the cap at Roy.

Roy looked at him in mock indignation and picked up the cap. He flicked it back, hitting Beast Boy right between the eyes. The two started giggling like idiots. Raven rolled her eyes.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Beast Boy’s shoulders, resting her chin on her hand. She glanced around at everyone that had gathered. Cyborg, Sarah, Jason, Wally, and Fran were now sitting in a row next to Roy. Continuing to scan the crowd she inadvertently made eye contact with Bette, who was watching her intently with an angry expression. Raven quickly moved on, acting like she had simply passed over Bette’s face as she was looking around. She tightened her arms around Beast Boy, who then leaned his head against hers.

He took another drink of beer and Raven began lazily tracing his collarbone with an index finger. After a few minutes, a reluctant Dick was brought over to the dais and sat in the overstuffed chair. Starfire placed a princess tiara on his head that looked straight out of the dollar store and handed him a double shot glass along with a bottle of Jäger. He looked at the two items with confusion.

“For whenever you feel like you need it,” Starfire said before happily floating away, going into the common area. She returned with her mustard cake and a fork, quickly claiming the spot next to Raven.

Cyborg stood, holding a microphone he had taken from a karaoke machine that had somehow ended up at the tower over the years. “Okay, who wants to go first? Now, you don’t have to roast him, but that’s like, half the fun.”

Someone toward the back that Raven couldn’t quite make out raised their hand and the mic was passed back. They didn’t roast Dick and instead spent a few minutes outlining what a great friend he was and how lucky they were to have him in their life before passing the mic onto Aqualad. Dick groaned.

Garth stood and addressed both Dick and the crowd. He began nicely by describing how the two had met, Dick’s first trip to Atlantis and his own to Gotham, the shenanigans they had gotten into, and their first mission together when they had ventured up into the Arctic circle.

“So, it was pitch black, I was swimming along only able to see by the light of the mini-sub Dick was in,” Aqualad said. “We were scanning the ocean floor, looking for the entrance to the Brotherhood of Evil’s new lair -- both on edge, obviously -- when Dick let out the shrillest scream I have ever heard in my life. Now, all of you here know Dickie-boy in some capacity. Not much spooks the famous boy-wonder. So I’m there, completely exposed, absolutely shitting bricks, wondering what the fuck did he just see?”

Garth paused for dramatic effect.

Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire started snickering. They already knew this story. Dick glared at them.

“Anyone wanna take a guess? Was it, perhaps, the Joker in scuba gear? Monsieur Mallah, two steps ahead of us? Mmmm, no and no. This motherfucker,” Garth pointed at Dick, “had screamed like a little girl because he had seen a narwhal.”

The crowd erupted into laughter.

“So, you’re probably all asking yourself ‘Garth, why would Dick Grayson, certifiable genius, scream at the sight of a narwhal?’ And you would be asking a very good question. And the answer would be this: apparently, up until that point in his life, ole Dickie had thought that narwhals were fake. That they were like Bigfoot or the Chupacabra. ‘The unicorns of the deep’ he had called them.”

The crowd roared with laughter, a few jeers and hoots. Aqualad had to wait a moment to continue so Dick took the opportunity to pour himself a shot.

“And so, when we had been down there, scanning the ocean floor in inky darkness, nerves completely shot, and he had seen a narwhal, a creature he had believed to be mythical, he fucking screamed because,” Garth had to pause because he couldn’t speak through his own mirth, “because he thought we were under attack by some new villain that could bring cryptids from some alternate dimension into our own or some shit before ever considering that maybe the narwhal was actually fucking real.”

Even Dick was laughing now as Aqualad wiped the tears from his eyes.

Garth pointed at him again. “Love you man. You can be a real moron sometimes but, goddammit, you’re our moron.”

The crowd cheered as Aqualad sat back down. Cyborg passed the mic off to someone else, who began their own tribute.

Raven started to feel a bit fidgety. She absentmindedly pulled the shades off of Beast Boy’s head and put them on her own. She then took his bucket hat from around her neck and put it on his head, pulling it down so it made his ears poke out slightly. She smiled to herself.

Leaning forward, she draped one arm around his shoulders again while propping up the other, using a finger to trace his ear, tip to lobe and back.

“Mmm,” Beast Boy hummed. “Chicks dig the ears.”

“Chicks, huh?” Raven murmured, smirking. “As in plural?”

“Maybe,” he turned his head slightly to look back at her, grinning. “Is that a problem?” He waggled his eyebrows.

Raven’s smirk vanished. An odd feeling gripped her chest. She suddenly didn’t feel like joking anymore.

Face blank, she leaned all the way back against the metal railing, arms crossed tightly in front of her. She stared intently up at the dais, jaw set.

Beast Boy blinked, confused by her sudden retreat. “Rae?”

When she didn’t respond, he turned around to face her fully. He tugged on her arms. “Rae, I was just joking.”

She still didn’t say anything, didn’t look at him. She knew she started it and shouldn’t be acting like this. She just couldn’t help it -- even the mere joke of it had hurt.

“Raven,” he then tugged on her legs, bringing her closer to the edge so she could hear him whisper. He put his lips to her ear and made note of the fact that she didn’t pull away.

“You should know by now that I only have eyes for you, Rae Rae,” he breathed. She shivered and finally looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, bringing a hand up to touch her face.

Raven shook her head, then leaned it into his hand. “No, I started it. I just -- I guess I just didn’t realize that I don’t like those jokes until it was too late.”

“Then we won’t make them anymore,” he said firmly. Raven smiled at him, eyes flicking to his mouth before she remembered where they were. She made a mental note to try to get him alone later.

“Are we good?” Beast Boy asked, the concern and sincerity in his tone tugging at her heart. He rubbed a thumb along her cheekbone. 

She nodded. He watched her for a few more seconds and then turned. He leaned back into her and pulled her arms around himself, holding onto one of her hands.

“Well, this chick definitely digs the ears,” Raven whispered to him. Her heart sang when he chuckled and brought her hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss onto her knuckles.

Chapter Text

The sun was beginning to set when the mic finally made its way over to the group of people that arguably knew Dick the best besides Aqualad, who went earlier than anyone had expected.

Wally started out, followed by Roy, and then Cyborg. When it was Raven’s turn, she focused on how he had warmly welcomed her into the group despite her off-putting nature and his part in helping her defeat Trigon. She brought up the remnants of the mental link that they still shared and insinuated that she had unwittingly been made privy to certain lewd situations, eliciting a few chuckles from the crowd and making Dick go red. Satisfied, Raven handed the mic forward to Beast Boy, who was grinning wickedly.

“Oh no,” Dick groaned, already smirking. If Raven had to guess, he had downed about half the Jäger and was, in Beast Boy’s words, properly ‘shitfaced.’

“Hey, man,” Beast Boy said into the mic.

Dick chuckled. “Hey.”

Beast Boy clicked his tongue. “So, I feel like everyone’s been goin’ kinda easy on ya.”

Dick let his head fall back and groaned again. “Fuck me,” he murmured.

“Nah, I’m sure Star will do that later,” Beast Boy said and flinched when Starfire smacked his arm. A few hoots came from the crowd.

“You’ve gotten enough of that lovey-dovey shit from everyone else so I’m gonna take a different approach,” he said, the wicked grin returning.

Dick nodded. “I’d expect nothing less from you.”

“You know, I actually feel kind of bad about this,” Beast Boy scratched behind his ear. “I initially didn’t want to roast you. I’m vegan, eco-friendly, literally green, and it’s just not good for the environment to burn trash.”

Dick snorted and there were scattered chuckles throughout the crowd.

“That’s what you were able to come up with? I’m a little disappointed,” Dick said.

“Oh, Dickie-poo -- my sweet summer child,” Beast Boy grinned. “I’m just getting warmed up.”

Dick put down the Jäger and shot glass and leaned forward, setting his elbows on his knees. He clasped his hands together and rested his chin on his knuckles, maintaining eye contact with the changeling. “Go on,” he drawled.

Beast Boy chuckled. “You know, sometimes I look at you, man, and I wonder… how the fuck were you the fastest sperm?”

There was some shocked laughter and Dick smirked, clearly amused. Beast Boy held up a hand.

“No, I’m being serious, guys! Like, holy shit! I was 14, you were 15 when the four of us,” he gestured around at Cyborg and Raven “first teamed up to get Star off that fucking alien ship and then it took you like, what? Four years to realize that she was as in love with you as you were with her! And you lived together! Four years, man! And people call you the world’s greatest detective? What fucking world are they talking about? I’m supposed to be the dumb one, dude!”

The crowd was roaring again and Dick was looking at Starfire, the couple laughing at each other.

“Alright, alright,” Beast Boy said, trying to calm the crowd so he could continue.

He started to pace in front of Roy and Cyborg. Turning on his heel, he made eye contact with Dick.

“You know, all the people who went before me weren’t wrong . You are a pretty great leader,” he said.

“Awwwwww,” Dick mocked and began making kissy faces at him.

Beast Boy grinned. “With that being said, there are times when you are so painfully uptight that I have to double check your utility belt to make sure you didn’t accidentally sit on your staff. It’s during those times that you become so averse to the very idea of fun that, in the words of Louise Belcher, if you were a spice, you’d be flour. It’s also during those times that the four of us” he again gestured around “really become heroes -- not because we’re Titans, but because we have to live with you.”

The crowd was cheering now. Dick was laughing. Beast Boy smirked. It was time for his coup de grâce. He began pacing again, waiting for the crowd to settle. Once it had, he turned back to Dick.

“I think we can both agree that it’s every parents’ job to stick around for their child, even if they can see that they're going to become a screw-up,” he began.

Raven tensed, eyes flicking between the two men. Where was he going with this? She felt the sudden urge to reach out and pluck the mic out of his hands but he was too far away.

“But, after all of my time spent with you, it’s really no wonder to me that after eight years of dealing with your shit, that your parents decided that enough was enough and took a nice long trip away,” Beast Boy looked Dick in the eye. "Or should I say a nice long fall?"

Raven’s jaw dropped. A stunned silence fell over the crowd, everyone too shocked to even breathe.

Dick stared at Beast Boy, eyes wide, mouth slack. Beast Boy didn’t break eye contact.

Tension built. Raven again quickly looked between the two, wondering if she was going to have to teleport Beast Boy to the other side of the planet for his own safety. What was he thinking?

After what felt like an eternity, but was in reality only a few seconds, Dick let out the breath he had been holding and quickly drew in a new one. Shocking everyone a second time, he then threw his head back and started cackling.

Slowly, he stood, still shaking with laughter, and, with one hand clutching his midsection, he pointed at Beast Boy with the other. “Hey! Right back ‘atcha, man!”

Dick then bent double, hands on his knees, and resumed his cackling, tears streaming down his face. This time, though, he was joined by the changeling, who was now shaking with laughter himself. The two stopped long enough to point finger guns at each other and go ahhhhhhhhh before starting up their hysterics again.

Understanding dawned on Raven. Dick and Beast Boy shared a tragically similar past when it came to losing their parents.

At the age of eight, Dick had watched, helpless, as his acrobat parents had fallen to their deaths at Haley’s Circus, the trapeze wires they had been swinging from sabotaged by Tony Zucco’s men. When Beast Boy had been seven and living in Sierra Leone with his virologist parents, they had been traveling on a river by boat when its rudder became damaged after hitting a submerged boulder. Unable to steer and realizing they were quickly approaching the edge of a tall waterfall, the Logans had encouraged their young son, who already possessed his shifting abilities, to fly to safety. Once on shore, Beast Boy had watched, as equally helpless as Dick had been, as his parents were swept over the edge, never to be seen again.

Neither had ever forgiven themselves for not preventing their parents’ deaths. They also never talked about their respective tragedies -- or at least, so Raven had thought. Perhaps they had found comfort and solidarity in each other, which probably explained why Dick hadn’t murdered Beast Boy on the spot for making the dark joke. Because Dick knew it was a burden the changeling also carried.

Dick straightened and wiped the tears from his face. He gestured widely to the crowd. “Now if any of you other fuckers had made that joke, it would have been on sight,” he said.

Raven blinked. Dick really was hammered. She could count on one hand how many times she had heard him drop the f-bomb, two of which had just been in the past few hours. Nervous laughter made its way through the crowd, everyone still largely unsure about the whole situation.

Dick pointed at Beast Boy. “Get your Kermit-the-Frog-looking-ass up here! You’re doing a shot with me for that.”

Beast Boy chuckled nervously. “You’re not gonna toss me over the railing are ya?”

“No, I’d take you up to the roof so you’d have more time to think on the way down,” Dick deadpanned, taking a shot glass from someone in the crowd.

The two stared at each other. Then the finger guns came out again. “Ahhhhh.”

Beast Boy made his way up to the dais and Raven leaned over to Starfire. “I’ve never seen Dick behave like this,” she whispered.

Starfire shrugged, happily licking mustard buttercream off her fingers. “He has never had Jäger,” she giggled.

Raven watched as Beast Boy held up his shot glass full of the thick, dark liquid. He sniffed it and grimaced. Dick laughed, hooked his arm through the changeling’s, and started to count down from three. On one, they threw their heads back, downing the shot. Beast Boy immediately started coughing. Dick laughed again and started slapping him on the back.

“Oh my God, dude,” Beast Boy said when he had recovered. “That shit’s rancid. Do Germans not like anything fun?”

“No, they take after me,” Dick said and the pair started giggling.

Dick pulled Beast Boy into a bro-hug before the younger Titan made his way back to Raven. Once she had her arms around him, she put her lips to his ear.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she hissed. “Did he know you were going to make that joke?”

“‘Course not,” he said, turning slightly to smile at her. “I wanted that shock factor.”

“He could have beat the living shit out of you,” Raven said.

“Could have,” Beast Boy said, still smiling. “But he didn’t.”

He reached over and booped her on the nose. Raven huffed. “You’re such an idiot,” she seethed.

This made him lean all the way back and grin at her boyishly. “Yes, but I’m your idiot, Rae Rae,” he winked and then sat up again, waiting for a denial.

None came and he soon felt her lean forward and drape her arms over his shoulders, patting him on the chest. It made him feel so incredibly light.

“What am I going to do with you?” she murmured. He felt her cheek press against his shoulder blade and knew she was resting her head on him. He couldn’t believe how happy this simple act made him.

“Well, we should probably get me a custom life-alert type thing,” Beast Boy said. “So when I press it, it alerts you that I pissed off the wrong person and you can come get me.”

He felt her body shake and knew he had made her laugh. He smiled. That would never get old.

“You’re ridiculous,” she mumbled into his shirt. She moved her arms so they were now under his and hugged him tightly, snuggling into his back.

Raven looked up at the dais but saw Starfire smirking at her. When they made eye contact, Starfire pointedly flicked her eyes to Beast Boy and then back at her before raising her eyebrows. Raven smiled at her, unsure of what else to do. Starfire then leaned back out of Beast Boy’s field of vision and gave Raven a thumbs up and winked.

Raven blushed and wiggled closer to the changeling.

“Jeez, Rae, if you wanna get any closer, I’m gonna have to take this shirt off,” Beast Boy teased, peeking at her over his shoulder.

Starfire giggled and Beast Boy grinned at her. Raven, face burning, reached down and poked him in the sides, making him jump. He immediately grabbed her hands, bringing them back up to where they were and holding them there. “None of that now,” he said, chuckling.

He focused his attention back on the roast, knowing there was only Jason and Starfire left.

Someone handed the mic to Jason, who stood and shrugged before gesturing toward Beast Boy.

“How the hell am I supposed to follow that?” he asked. The crowd cheered while Dick laughed.

Jason sighed. “I didn’t have any siblings growing up… well, I didn’t have any family. You know the story -- shipped around from foster home to foster home until the Bats took an inexplicable liking to me and decided to adopt me.” He waved a hand as if it were the most boring backstory in the world.

“Anyway, I always wanted an older brother. Like, a good one, not one of those shit heads that’d just beat you up and never let you hang out with them and their friends. Well, I really think I hit the jackpot with you, Dick. You’re the older brother I had always wished for, that everyone deserves.”

“Don’t make me cry in front of everyone, Jason, I have a reputation to maintain,” Dick said, chuckling weakly. Jason waved him off.

“Not only are you the older brother I’ve always wanted, you’re a great role model. Someone I look up to and aspire to be like. Now,” he gestured toward the crowd “everyone’s probably thinking ‘what about Batman? Isn’t he a good role model?’ Ehhhhh, sure.”

Jason and Dick shared a meaningful look.

“But Batman doesn’t know what it’s like having to deal with Batman. Especially as Robin. So I have something that you didn’t, Dick, and that’s the ability to call up a former Robin and just vent and have someone understand and I don’t think you really realize how much that means to me. And you’ve never once made me feel like I have something to live up to, like I have to fill your shoes or get out of your shadow. You just let your Robin be yours and mine be mine.”

The two were looking at each other intently and Raven knew they probably felt like the only two people on that balcony.

“As for everyone that says Dick Grayson’s Robin is the best Robin,” Jason rubbed the back of his head and was suddenly wearing a cheeky grin. “You know, I used to think that, too, until I really started thinking about it.”

“Here we go,” Beast Boy murmured, smirking.

“You were with him for years, were a dynamic duo, unstoppable, they called you the Boy Wonder, world’s greatest detective, certifiable genius Dick Grayson,” Jason said, amusement in his eyes. “And yet, when you wanted to set off on your own to start the Teen Titans, who did the Bats decide would make a suitable replacement for you? That could easily take your spot -- hit the ground running? A 12-year-old kid with zero combat training.”

Jason smiled and tapped his temple, raising his eyebrows. “Makes you wonder.”

The crowd was finally laughing again.

“You little shit,” Dick chuckled. “You can walk home.”

Jason grinned and handed the mic to Starfire as he retook his seat, getting a clap on the back from Cyborg.

The crowd whistled and cheered when Starfire hopped off the wall and began walking toward the dais. She plopped down on Dick’s lap and wrapped an arm around his neck, smiling sweetly at him.

“Dick,” she began, “we’ve had an amazing two years together.”

He smiled, one arm wrapped securely around her waist and one gripping her leg.

“It’s just such a shame that it took seven years to get to that number,” Starfire said and started laughing when he let his head fall back in exasperation. The crowd roared and jeered.

“But, in all seriousness, I know for a fact that I would not be here without you,” she said, her tone now tender. “You were the one that led the rescue mission onto the Gordanian ship, not knowing if it would turn into a suicide mission, just to save me -- a complete stranger. Without you, I would still, in all likelihood, be enslaved somewhere lightyears away from here.”

Dick tightened his grip on her protectively.

“You are the most selfless, charismatic, loyal, and hardworking person I have ever met and you deserve the world. I firmly believe in soulmates and that you are mine and that somehow the stars aligned so that the escape pod I took from the Gordanian ship crash landed here on Earth just so that you and I would cross paths. That alone makes all the suffering that came before well worth it. Because I love you, Dick Grayson, with every fiber of my being. And that will never change.”

“I love you, too, Star,” Dick murmured, giving her waist a gentle squeeze.

Starfire turned off the mic and set it in her lap, grabbed Dick’s face, and kissed him deeply. The crowd cheered uproariously with hoots and whistles loud enough to make what was visible of Dick’s face turn a deep red.

The sun had fully set now and when Raven looked up, she could see stars beginning to appear out of the inky black sky.

Cyborg stood and addressed the rowdy crowd. 

“That concludes Dick’s Roast,” he said, “now it’s time to get lit!”

With that, he pressed a button on his arm and the balcony and common area’s normal lights were swapped with colorful, spinning party lights. He hit another button and music began blaring through the tower’s large surround-sound array. Raven could feel the bass of whatever song was playing, suddenly feeling like she had been transported to one of Jump City’s many nightclubs.

Beast Boy turned and gestured down at himself. Raven gasped and started laughing.

“You didn’t tell me they were glow-in-the-dark!” Raven yelled over the music.

He grinned and put his mouth to her ear. “I wanted it to be a surprise!”

Raven looked him over again. The garish pineapples on his matching shirt and shorts combo were glowing. She looked at him and shook her head, knowing her amusement was showing plainly on her face.

Beast Boy leaned in again. “Pizzazz!”

Raven laughed and gently pushed him away.

“You think you’re ready for another drink?” he asked. She thought for a moment and then nodded. He held out his hand for her and she took it, hopping off the wall.

Raven let him lead her through the crowd to the alcohol table. Beast Boy was about to ask what she wanted when Sarah appeared at her side.

“We’re all going to the bathroom if you want to come,” Sarah said.

“Who’s ‘we’?” Raven asked.

“Me, Star, Donna, and Jinx.”

“Oh, sure,” Raven said, and then smiled at Beast Boy. “I’ll be right back.”

“You’re all going together?” he asked, looking at them strangely.

“Women go to the bathroom in packs at parties,” Sarah said. “C’mon, Rae.”

She walked toward the hallway door with Raven following close behind. Beast Boy watched her go, suddenly forlorn.

“Oh, don’t look so depressed,” Cyborg walked up beside him. “She’ll be back, B. Until then, it’s time for some shots. Wally said since you coughed drinking Jäger, there was no way you’d be able to handle absinthe.”

Beast Boy whined. “Well now I have to defend my honor.”

The pair began walking back out to the balcony when Beast Boy stopped and looked at Cyborg.

“Wait… who the fuck brought absinthe?”

Chapter Text

Raven closed and locked the door behind her and then turned to face the room. The normally spacious bathroom was now a bit crowded with the five young women inside, each waiting for their turn to relieve themselves.

“Oh, good, you brought her!” Jinx said upon seeing Raven.

Donna stood from the toilet and flushed, moving to wash her hands. Starfire took her place. 

Raven looked at Sarah, raising an eyebrow.

“We’re all dying to know how things are going with you-know-who,” Sarah admitted with a sly smile.

“Voldemort?” Raven asked, face blank.

Sarah snorted. “Oh, c’mon, you’ve been all over him all day. Everyone knows.”

Raven blushed. This was exactly what she had been hoping to avoid. She had wanted things to be subtle, to gradually ease herself into the idea of having a relationship with someone. Then she had gone and had that damn chamomile and now all this alcohol.

She sighed and stared at her feet, not saying anything.

Jinx watched, recognizing her discomfort. She clicked her tongue. Time to try a different approach.

“Well, BB sure pissed off Bette earlier,” she chuckled, noticing when Raven quickly looked up.

“He did?” Raven asked, confused.

“Ooooh yeah,” Jinx laughed gleefully. It was well known that the two didn’t get along.

“What happened?” Sarah asked. Raven was grateful that she wasn’t the only curious one.

“Well, I don’t know exactly,” Jinx said. “I just know what she said happened. I was on the balcony and I guess whatever happened, happened inside because she came storming out to talk to Lilith and Karen.”

Jinx looked at Donna. “Remember? I had, like, just gotten here.”

Donna thought for a moment. Her eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah! I was wondering what that was about.”

“Well, lucky for you, I am an eavesdropping connoisseur,” Jinx grinned.

Raven suddenly felt anxious. She knew exactly what Jinx was talking about. Images of Bette clinging to Beast Boy, of him making her laugh flashed in her mind's eye. Her stomach dropped. Did she really want to hear this?

You should know by now that I only have eyes for you, Rae Rae.

A warmth spread in her chest as she remembered the look on his face after he had told her that. She turned to Jinx, deciding to hear what she had to say.

“Apparently she made a very obvious pass at him and he was just not biting,” Jinx said. “Like, at all. Zero interest. Nil. Nada. Big ole goose egg. She told Lil and Karen that she did everything that usually works for her, no problem. She grabbed his arm and” Jinx started laughing again and had to pause to take a deep breath “she said BB looked at her like she was crazy and asked for it back.”

Jinx was wheezing now. Sarah and Starfire were giggling while Donna was biting her lip and smirking, trying in vain to remain diplomatic. Raven had a hand covering her mouth, trying to hide her smile.

“Oh my God, and then she said he tried to pull away from her but she just fucking held on like some kind of weirdo,” Jinx wiped a tear from her face. Donna started giggling.

“So what does Bette do?” Jinx giggled, throwing her arms up. “She squeezed his arm and asked if he had been working out. And he goes, I shit you not, he says, yeah, it goes with the job. Like she isn’t talking to a motherfucking Titan.”

All of the women were laughing now. Raven was feeling better and better with every word Jinx said.

“But is Bette deterred?” Jinx said. “Of course not. She laughs! Like he just told the world’s funniest joke! And B looks at her like she’s just lost her damn mind and then he looks over at Roy, because Roy has just been fucking standing there the whole damn time,” she pauses to wipe more tears from her face “and then he just turns back and stares at her. Not saying anything.”

“Oh my God,” Sarah said through her giggles. “That’s so awkward.”

“I know!” Jinx cackled, and then made a face. “But the next part doesn’t really make sense.”

“What do you mean?” Starfire asked.

“Well,” Jinx furrowed her eyebrows. “She said that B ripped his arm away from her and yelled at her to fuck off. Like, out of nowhere. But that really doesn’t sound like something he would do without a very good reason.”

The other women went silent, thinking, but anger sparked within Raven. So, not only did Bette conveniently leave out how she had weaponized Roy’s struggle with addiction against him but she had also exaggerated Beast Boy’s reaction to it to paint him in a bad light.

Raven said nothing. While she wanted to defend Beast Boy, she wasn’t about to remind everyone of Roy’s problems when he was doing so well in moving past them.

“Yeah, she was definitely leaving something out,” Sarah said. The others nodded.

“You know, that gives me a whole new perspective on something I overheard earlier, too,” Donna said.

“What, you had tea and didn’t tell me?” Jinx said, incredulous. 

“Uh, you didn’t tell me yours?” Donna retorted.

“Fair.”

“Alright, share with the class,” Sarah said, smiling mischievously. They had all used the bathroom at that point and were now sitting along the edge of the tub, on the sink, or on the toilet lid.

“Well, it was like a half hour or so before the roast, right before the Lasagna Incident really got going,” Donna said. “I was inside at the alcohol table, browsing the vodka.”

“Looking for some Svedka?” Jinx grinned.

Donna groaned. “Not after Atlantic City. I found some Absolut.” Jinx chuckled.

“Anyway, BB comes in and starts gathering some bottles. I guess to take back outside. We chat, just small talk.”

Raven noticed when Donna’s eyes flicked to her and away again.

“I go back to my browsing and move away a little bit but not so far that I’m out of earshot. So, I have a front row seat when none other than Bette comes waltzing up to B.”

Raven stared at Donna. She had no idea this second encounter had taken place.

“She really can’t take a hint, can she?” Jinx smirked.

“No,” Starfire said firmly. She glanced over at Raven commiseratingly.

“Well, you obviously know he has animal instincts, so he stiffens as soon as he senses her presence. She tried a flirty ‘hey, you’” Jinx made a gagging sound “and he just glares at her and says what? Just like that, really short and annoyed,” Donna said.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard B sound genuinely annoyed,” Sarah said.

“It’s very hard to accomplish,” Raven murmured.

“Oh, he was genuinely annoyed,” Donna said. “And then she taps her chin, thinking it over like it was an actual question and not him basically telling her to go away. But you’ll never believe what she says next.”

“C’mon, c’mon, out with it,” Jinx said, squirming on the sink.

Donna smirked. “She gestured toward the hallway, you know, the one that leads to all of the bedrooms, and asked for a tour.”

Starfire and Sarah’s jaws dropped while Jinx huffed a disbelieving laugh. Raven felt that spark of anger grow into a bonfire.

“Jesus Christ,” Jinx scoffed. “Just ask him to fuck you at that point.”

“Right? That’s what I thought!” Donna said.

Raven grit her teeth. Starfire put a hand on her leg and gave it a light squeeze.

“And what did Beast Boy say?” Starfire asked, knowing Raven wouldn’t.

“Well before he said anything, Bette tried to do that sexy thing where you trace a line down a guy’s torso--”

Raven abruptly stood, making everyone but Starfire jump. She took a step over, reaching for the door handle but felt Star grab her arm, pulling her back.

“Raven, stop,” she said.

Raven turned, eyes flashing red. “If she fucking touched him I am going to break every fucking bone in her body,” she growled, her voice an octave lower than normal.

“Raven,” Starfire said, hands firmly gripping Raven’s upper arms, keeping her in place, “you need to calm down. Breathe.”

The two women stared at each other as Starfire made a show of breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, Raven mimicking her. After a few minutes, Raven relaxed, her eyes returning to their normal amethyst. Starfire let her go and Raven began rubbing her temples, suddenly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, not looking at anyone.

“Don’t be,” Sarah said. “I know that’s how I’d feel if someone tried half of that stuff with Vic.”

The other women nodded.

“I guess we don’t have to speculate on how you feel about BB anymore,” Jinx grinned.

Raven allowed herself a small smile. “Guess not,” she murmured, retaking her seat and staring at her clasped hands.

“I don’t have to finish,” Donna said, looking at Raven. “I don’t want to upset you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Raven said. “Go ahead -- I promise I’m fine now.”

“Just don’t go trying to feel up BB, Donna,” Jinx teased. Raven made a face at her.

Donna laughed. “Well, Bette didn’t actually touch him. He pushed her hand away before she could even get close.”

Raven nodded, not looking up.

“Then,” Donna looked at Jinx. “He said ‘no, leave me alone.’ And, as you can imagine, she did the exact opposite.”

Jinx groaned.

Donna smirked. “This is where it gets really juicy.” She looked around and saw that Raven had looked up. She had their undivided attention.

“Bette scoffs and she says…” Donna pauses “‘...you know you would have a helluva lot more fun with me than that witch out there.’”

Starfire gasps. Jinx’s jaw drops. Sarah whispers “no.” Raven’s anger sparks back to life.

“That witch?” Jinx asked with a look of incredulity and indignation.

“Oh, yeah,” Donna nodded at her and then looked at Raven. “She was straight up calling you a bitch.”

Starfire glanced at Raven, worried. “Donna…”

“I’m fine, Star,” Raven said quickly.

“She’ll want to hear the next bit,” Donna said to Starfire, “which is the best part.” She punctuated the words by holding up her hands in OK-signs.

Donna looked around at them all again. “It’s B’s reaction.”

“Ohhh ho ho, this is going to be amazing,” Jinx wiggled with anticipation.

Raven’s heart fluttered. He defended her?

“In a voice as cold as fucking ice BB looked her in the eye and said, and I quote, ‘it's actually really fucking pathetic that you think your bland looks make up for your shitty personality,’” Donna said, enunciating each word.

“Holy shit!” Jinx cackled, looking utterly delighted.

Sarah and Starfire let out a few surprised chuckles, looking at each other with wide eyes. It was odd for them to think of their carefree, happy-go-lucky goofball of a friend to say something like that to anyone .

Raven just smiled down at her clasped hands, the warmth in her chest growing, feeling entirely pleased.

“Would you believe me if I said it didn’t end there?” Donna asked.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding,” Jinx groaned.

“Nope,” Donna said, letting her lips pop on the ‘p’. “If Bette is anything, she is persistent.”

Raven felt the sudden need to go back to the party, to find Beast Boy.

“She just completely ignores what he said, because of course she does,” Donna said. Starfire rolled her eyes and Sarah laughed.

“Bette takes a step closer to B and says ‘don’t act like you don’t want me’ -- I guess trying to be seductive or something? I dunno. But he just turns away from her and goes ‘not acting.’”

“He’s so fucking done,” Jinx laughed.

“But she’s not,” Donna said. “She took another step closer” Donna looked at Raven “but not touching him. And she says, full of confidence, ‘I know you want me.’”

Sarah and Starfire made faces of disgust while Jinx gagged. Raven’s anger continued to grow.

“B, still not looking at her, says ‘I cannot stress enough to you how much I do not .’ Then he brushes past her, carrying all these bottles in octopus arms, and goes back outside, just leaving her standing there,” Donna finished.

“Wait… octopus arms?” Jinx asked.

“Yeah, like the tentacles,” Donna said, wiggling her arms as if to demonstrate.

“No, I -- I know… it was just a random detail to throw in there,” Jinx said and started to laugh.

Donna shrugged. “I guess he could carry more that way.”

Raven furrowed her eyebrows. “You know, I always thought Bette was his type.”

Jinx snorted and Raven looked up, catching Sarah and Starfire glancing at each other with raised eyebrows.

“Something funny?” Raven asked, feeling slightly irritated.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one?” Jinx asked, wiggling a finger at her.

“Just book smart apparently,” Donna said, smirking.

Raven set her jaw, glaring at all of them.

Jinx rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in mock exasperation. “Raven, you are his type. You !”

Raven stared at her for a few seconds, then turned to Starfire for help. “No… he likes blondes,” she said quietly.

Starfire knit her eyebrows. “Yes… five years ago. That changed rather quickly after Terra.”

Raven blinked. It had?

“If he likes blondes then why the hell has he been pining after you for the last four years?” Jinx asked. “If he likes blondes, then why has he been all over you , the complete opposite of a blonde, all day?”

Raven blushed. Did she say four years? “Well, I-- I did ask him to hang out with me…”

“Hang out?” Jinx said, giving her a weird look. “Listen, I hang out with Roy and Wally all the time but you don’t see me letting them pull me into their lap or carry me around like I’m their bride.”

“Easy,” Donna said, holding up a hand to Jinx.

“Hey, I’m just trying to open her eyes a little,” Jinx said, shrugging. “BB came over to the dark side a looong time ago.”

Raven smirked at that.

"So," Jinx continued, "are you just tryna tap that or do you wanna be Mrs. BB one day?"

Donna facepalmed. "We really need to work on your tact."

Raven’s blush deepened and she looked down at her clasped hands again.

"I-- uh--"

“You do not have to answer that, Raven,” Donna said.

“Shut up, Donna, she was just about to!” Jinx said, throwing a hand towel at her.

“It’s okay,” Raven said, still looking at her hands.

“See?” Jinx stuck her tongue out at Donna.

“Someone had to give her an out,” Donna huffed.

“I appreciate it,” Raven smiled at Donna and then looked at her hands again, eyebrows furrowed. “I… Well, I thought I had a crush on him…”

She paused, trying to choose her words carefully.

“Initially, I had wanted to take everything slow … to ease myself into the very idea of having a romantic relationship,” she continued, barely above a whisper.

The other women leaned in, hanging on every word.

“It’s just, for the majority of my life I thought I was going to… to die when I turned 16 so I never really thought about these things -- I didn’t think they’d ever apply to me so I didn’t need to…”

Starfire put a supportive hand on her back. Raven took a deep breath.

“But now, when I think about him and everything we’ve been through together… the way he treats me… the way he never stopped trying to include me, no matter how horrible I was to him… and especially after the past few days, I--” she swallowed “I think I’m in love with him.”

Raven looked over at Starfire and Sarah, giving a weak smile. “Both of you were right. It’s not a crush… it hasn’t been for a while. I was just fooling myself.”

Jinx let out a low whistle.

“I was… not expecting that,” Jinx said quietly, looking at Donna.

“And that’s why I tried to give her an out,” Donna said back.

Raven let out a breathy laugh, suddenly feeling wired. “It’s fine… it actually feels good to finally say it out loud.”

Starfire nodded, contemplative. “Perhaps you are only now able to admit your love to yourself because the possibility of being rejected does not appear as likely to you as it once did?”

Raven thought about it a moment. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I often am,” Starfire said with a grin.

“And I think that maybe the time for easing yourself into things has passed, too,” Sarah said, leaning past Starfire to look at Raven.

Raven simply nodded.

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Sarah asked.

Raven shook her head. “I don’t think so… I just need to get him alone so I can tell him. I’m also sobering up and my nerves are coming back and I’m afraid I’m going to start overthinking everything.” She started rubbing her temples again.

Sarah nodded. “It’ll work out. It shouldn’t be too hard to get him alone. All you have to do is ask him to follow you and he will. Like a lost puppy.”

That made Raven laugh. Then she felt her phone vibrate. Pulling it out, she saw the message and smiled.

Gar: Where go ? :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( 

Starfire peeked over her shoulder and giggled. She elbowed Raven playfully.

“You had better go and find him before he gets into trouble,” she smirked.

“I have a feeling I’m already too late,” Raven said, standing and going for the door, the others following close behind.

Chapter Text

The women entered the fray of the party in the common area and Raven scanned the crowd for any hints of green, neon pink, or glowing pineapples. Seeing none, she made her way through the dancing bodies to the balcony and again looked around. Her small stature definitely wasn’t doing her any favors. Floating a few inches off the ground, she did another sweep and this time spotted the top of Cyborg’s head, off in one corner. She planted her feet back on the ground and set off in his direction, knowing Beast Boy was probably with him.

The crowd thinned as Raven grew closer and she saw a semi-circle of people standing around one of the sofa-benches. She glanced around at them, noting Wally, Roy, Cyborg, Jason, Garth, and one man she didn’t recognize. On the sofa was another man she didn’t recognize and Beast Boy, although he was upside-down, head hanging over the edge of the seat and bare feet up in the air.

She looked around again. No Bette in sight. Good.

Focusing back on Beast Boy, she smirked, noticing he was squinting at his phone, probably waiting for her to reply.

She saw his ears twitch as he sensed her approach. His eyes flashed to her. He threw his arms up -- well, sideways, given his current position -- a look of glee on his face.

“There she is!” Beast Boy cried. The group turned to look at her as she walked up.

Beast Boy tilted his body forward, flipping over and landing on his feet. If he had been sober, it would have worked. However, Raven watched as he staggered back and fell on his butt before rolling onto his back, his head at her feet. The others started cracking up at the spectacle.

Raven smiled down at him. He reached up toward her and made grabbing motions with his hands.

“My tiny habanero has returned!” Beast Boy grinned and started giggling.

Garth did a double take. “He was talking about you?”

Raven gave him a questioning look. “What?”

“He’s been asking for his ‘tiny habanero’ for like a half an hour and we had no idea what the fuck he was talking about,” Garth said.

Raven sighed and looked down at the changeling, who was now singing ‘tiny habanero’ to himself under his breath and giggling. “It’s a -- an inside joke,” she said, blushing.

Raven knelt down and cupped Beast Boy’s face, much to his delight. “Gar, are you okay?”

He grinned. “Raaae Raaae’s concerned about meee,” he sang.

Raven looked at Cyborg. “What did you do to him?”

Cyborg raised a hand in defense and used the other to point at Wally.

“Narc,” Wally said, glaring at him.

Raven turned her attention back to Beast Boy. “Can you get up for me?”

“For you?” He grinned, his bottom fang poking out. “Anything.” He winked.

Raven rolled her eyes and helped him to his feet. She then walked him backwards and made him sit on the sofa. As she straightened and moved to stand next to him though, he quickly reached forward and tugged her back into his lap, arms wrapping tightly around her waist.

“Gar!” she said, eyes wide and face burning. Everyone was watching with thinly veiled amusement. She pushed lightly on Beast Boy’s clasped hands, trying to get him to let her up.

“Mmm, no escape,” he whispered, pulling her back further and burying his face in her hair.

Raven looked at Wally. “What did you do?”

“Hey, he was willing,” Wally said. “I didn’t twist his arm or anything.”

Raven scowled at him.

“Well, I might have told him that since he coughed after taking a shot of Jäger, there was no way he’d be able to handle absinthe,” Wally said. “So, he decided, completely on his own, that he had to prove me wrong.” Wally grinned.

Raven pinched the bridge of her nose. “You gave him a shot of absinthe?”

The stranger next to her snorted. “A shot.” He chuckled.

Raven stared at him. “And you are?”

“Oh,” the guy blinked and then grinned at her. “Jaime Reyes. Some know me as the Blue Beetle.” He held out a hand to her. “I already know who you are. Raven. Pretty cool.”

Raven stared at him, face blank, then glanced down at his outstretched hand.

Roy cleared his throat. “Yeaaah, Rae doesn’t do physical contact.”

Jaime looked at Roy and then used the outstretched hand to point between Raven and Beast Boy. Roy shrugged. “There’s always an exception to the rule.”

Raven looked back at Wally. “How many?”

Wally shifted nervously. “Ahhh… three?”

“Wally!”

Beast Boy started giggling. “She’s maaad.”

“Just keep a tight hold on her, okay, buddy?” Wally said.

"You got it, dude!"

Raven turned to Beast Boy. “I leave you alone for 30 minutes and you take three shots of absinthe?”

Beast Boy leaned his head forward and tapped the front of his hat.

In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Raven couldn’t help it. She started laughing. Beast Boy smiled.

“You are such an idiot,” she said through giggles.

“And you are way too sober,” Beast Boy said. He pointed at Wally. “You did this to me so be a dear and go get m’lady a drink. Nice and strong.”

Wally rolled his eyes and walked away.

“M’lady?” It was the other stranger talking now. “Are you together?”

Raven squinted at him. “You are?”

“Isaiah Crockett.”

Raven looked at Cyborg. “So we’re just letting anyone into the tower?”

Cyborg shrugged. “If their powers are cool enough.”

Raven rolled her eyes.

“He’s fiery,” Beast Boy giggled.

“It’s pyrokinesis,” Isaiah said, then looked at Raven. “Like your telekinesis.”

Raven just stared at him, face blank. She didn’t like having these strangers in her home, knowing so much about her.

“Woman of few words,” Jaime said, grinning.

Wally returned and handed Raven a red solo cup, earning himself a quiet “thanks.”

“Rae Rae’s just selective about who she warms up to,” Beast Boy said, pulling her in even closer. She glared at him over her shoulder.

“Rae Rae?” Jaime asked.

“Rae- ven,” she corrected.

Roy chuckled. “Only Beastie can call her that without being sent to another dimension.”

“What about Rae?” Jaime tried again.

“No,” Raven said firmly, taking a drink. Jaime looked at Roy, eyebrows raised.

“Friends only,” Roy shrugged.

“Tough crowd,” Jaime said.

“C’mooon, Rae. Lighten up. It’s a par-taaaay,” Beast Boy said before dissolving into another fit of giggles.

“And yet, we’re just sitting here,” Raven said, glancing back at him. Beast Boy raised his eyebrows.

“Is Raven insinuating that she wants to dance?” he asked.

“Maybe if better music were playing,” she said as she took another drink. If she were being honest, she just wanted away from these strangers so she could build up the courage to get Beast Boy alone.

“Hey,” Cyborg said, frowning at her.

“No, no, she’s right,” Jason said.

Cyborg scoffed. “And what would you guys have me play?”

Raven thought for a moment and then began rattling off artists. “Fall Out Boy, blink-182, Green Day, Paramore, Hollywood Undead, Panic! at the Disco pre-2016, Gorillaz, My Chemical Romance, Beastie Boys --”

“Okay, okay, damn,” Cyborg said. “So you basically want punk and emo with a smattering of hip-hop?”

“Basically,” Raven said.

Cyborg looked around at the group. “Anyone have a problem with that?”

Everyone shook their heads. Cyborg nodded. “Alrighty, then.”

He tapped a few things on his arm. “The playlist will change after a couple songs,” he said.

Beast Boy leaned forward, putting his lips to Raven’s ear. “The only Beastie Boy you need is right here.” He then patted her hips, making her blush. “Up we go!”

Raven stood and so did he. She felt a hand grab hers and looked down to see green fingers lacing through her own. She smiled and squeezed it, quickly receiving one back.

Beast Boy pulled out his phone and sent quick texts to Cyborg.

Beast Boy: If you play Basket Case by Green Day I will literally kiss you full on the mouth

Cy: You mean metaphorically?

Beast Boy: Yeah sure

Raven chugged the rest of her drink, setting the cup down on a random surface as Beast Boy led her inside and through the dancing crowd. She could already feel her buzz returning.

“Raven!” She turned and saw Sarah and Starfire over by the alcohol table, waving her over.

“Oh, no, you’re not leaving me again,” Beast Boy said, shaking his head. “I just got you back.”

Butterflies erupted in her stomach. She looked at him. “So come with,” she said, and smiled as she led him over to the table.

“We’re doing shots,” Starfire said, bubbling with excitement. She looked from Raven to Beast Boy. “You in?”

“Hell yeah!” Beast Boy grinned.

Raven frowned at him. “You just did three shots of absinthe.”

He waved her off. “I’m fiiine, Rae.”

She just raised her eyebrows at him.

“Hey, my messed up DNA makes my metabolism burn the alcohol out of my system like nobody’s business,” Beast Boy shrugged and winked at her. “I’m fine, I promise.”

Raven sighed. “If you say so.” She turned back to Starfire. “What kind of shots?”

“Well, Star suggested lemon drops and I suggested Jäger bombs but we think Dick drank all the Jäger,” Sarah said, turning to Raven. “What do you think?”

“Either lemon drops or peach rings,” Raven said.

“Why not both?” Beast Boy said with a grin.

“I like the way you think,” Sarah said. She started making the drinks -- using double shot glasses, Raven noted -- before anyone could protest.

Once the eight shots were ready, the group quickly took them one after the other.

“How about one of just straight liquor?” Sarah asked, wiping her mouth and grabbing the bottle of Jack.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Raven said.

Sarah laughed and winked at her. “C’mon, just one more,” she said.

Raven sighed. “Fine.”

They took another double shot and Raven started to feel it all hit her at once. She grabbed onto Beast Boy’s arm as she swayed slightly and waved her hand at Sarah. “I’m good.”

“Alright,” Sarah said, smiling. Her eyes flicked between Raven and Beast Boy. “Off you go.” She turned back to Starfire.

Beast Boy gently led Raven away, back into the pulsating crowd. He found a small, open spot near a wall and pulled her into it, holding her close. He leaned in to be heard over the music. “You okay?”

She hummed, blushing. With his shirt hanging loose, her face was level with his bare chest. All she had to do was barely tilt her head down and she could take in the rest of his muscular torso. Her eyes hungrily slid over him, noticing that his four-pack was starting to turn into a six-pack. The heat between her legs returned with a vengeance. Her hands itched to reach out and touch him. He was so close…

“Rae?” He brought a hand under her chin to tilt her head up to look at him.

Looking into his green eyes, her knees suddenly felt weak.

“Are you okay?” He repeated, eyebrows knitted in concern.

She nodded. “Just a bit drunk.”

Beast Boy smiled and she felt like her heart might explode. “Well, you just chugged a drink and took six shots.”

“Mmmm,” Raven hummed, only half listening. Now she was staring at his mouth. She just wanted him alone.

The song stopped and there was a brief pause before the next one began.

♪♫ Do you have the time to listen to me whine

About nothing and everything all at once? ♪♫

Raven slowly looked up at Beast Boy, a smile spreading across her face. He was watching her with glittering eyes and a wide grin.

You expect me to listen to Basket Case and not feel seen?

Raven lightly hit his arm and beamed at him. “You requested this, didn’t you?”

“...maybe,” he said and then laughed.

Raven couldn’t stop smiling at him as they began to move with the rest of the crowd. She noticed that he always kept at least one protective hand on her waist, making sure she was steady, keeping her close, not that she ever tried to stray very far from him.

No one had ever made her feel like this before. It had been such a short, insignificant conversation held in the middle of the night. And yet, he had remembered this one, little detail -- that she loved this song. And he had then made the effort to make sure it was played tonight, just for her.

Raven’s heart sang.

Chapter Text

Raven had lost track of time. Between the music, the alcohol, and having Beast Boy’s undivided attention, she wasn’t sure how long they had been on the dance floor. She was feeling a little tired and still a bit drunk as she leaned up against the wall, facing him as they talked.

“How're you feeling?” he asked, leaning into her so she could hear.

“A little thirsty,” she said, lazily grabbing his hand.

He jerked a thumb over to the alcohol table and raised an eyebrow. She nodded, smiling at him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and led her through the crowd. Once at the table, he looked down at her.

“What do you want?”

“Surprise me.”

Beast Boy grinned and quickly made her something in a red solo cup, handing it off when he was finished.

Raven took a sip. “Vodka cran?”

He nodded. “A classic.”

“For good reason.”

He moved closer, smiling at her, his arm once again snaking around her waist. She happily leaned into him, basking in his warmth.

“Now what?” he asked.

Raven looked up at him. “It’s getting a little hot in here.”

“You wanna go out to the balcony?”

Raven made a face. Sarah said this should be easy but she was already messing it up.

“What?” he asked, eyebrows knit with concern.

“Oh, um… there’s just… a lot of people out there…” Smooth, Raven.

Beast Boy looked around, as if just remembering that they weren’t the only two people in the room, then back down at her. “Oh… you okay? Are your powers getting overwhelmed? You’re not usually around this many people for this long.”

There we go. “Could we… go up to the roof, maybe?” she asked, suddenly feeling extremely nervous. He was going to see right through her.

“We? You want me to go with you?” he said, looking hopeful.

“Well… yeah,” Raven said “you promised white on rice and the party isn’t over yet.”

Beast Boy broke into a wide, toothy grin. “On a paper plate in the middle of a snowstorm, Rae Rae.”

Raven’s nerves grew as he gently steered her toward the elevator.

They stepped off the elevator and walked down a short hallway to climb the last flight of stairs to the roof, his arm still steadily guiding her. Once exiting the stairwell, Beast Boy abruptly turned and walked along its outer wall a few steps. He then sat, facing the Jump City skyline, back against the wall and legs stretched in front of him. He looked over at Raven and smiled, patting the spot next to him.

Raven gave him a confused look and vaguely gestured over toward the roof’s edge where they usually sat, swinging their legs.

“Yeaaah, you do not need to be near any sheer drops right now,” Beast Boy said.

“I can fly.”

“I don’t trust your reaction time.”

“You’d catch me.”

“Rae,” he said, tilting his head toward her and raising his eyebrows. 

Raven sighed and walked up next to him but didn’t sit down. He looked up at her expectantly.

“Is the best seat in the house still open?” she asked shyly.

He chuckled and opened his arms, reaching toward her. “Well, it has been permanently reserved for one Miss Raven -- or Rachel Roth, if she is incognito.”

Raven smiled, setting down her drink nearby. She then turned and sat, nestling back into Beast Boy and draping an arm around his neck. One of his arms wrapped securely around her waist while the other hung lazily around her bent legs.

Using her powers, Raven clumsily lifted her drink into her free hand while Beast Boy watched, a skeptical expression on his face.

“I’m honestly surprised you didn’t dump that everywhere,” he said, grinning at her.

Raven just smiled and took a swig. Her heart was racing and she was worried that if her hands weren’t occupied they would start shaking.

Beast Boy rested his head back against the wall and Raven couldn't help but stare at him. She remembered when his face had looked so round and boyish. It had definitely matured, losing its childlike plumpness. Looking at his profile, she saw a strong jaw, high cheekbones and a sharp nose. The green eyes she adored so much were set off by thick, dark green eyebrows that were almost as unruly as his hair. Studying them now, this close up, she might even wager a guess that he trimmed and shaped them to keep them from getting too out of hand.

Raven smirked at the idea of Beast Boy grooming his eyebrows and tried to hide it behind her cup, albeit much too late.

He looked at her, raising a possibly-groomed eyebrow and smirking back at her. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“I can tell when you’re lying, Rae,” he said, only becoming more intrigued.

“I, uh--” she glanced at his shirt and quickly plucked it “I was just wondering where you got this get-up.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “You gonna check and see if they have it in your size, huh?”

“And if I am?”

“That’d be sick, we could be twinsies,” he said, bottom fang now poking out of his grin. “No one would ever be able to tell us apart.”

Raven just giggled and tightened her arm around him, taking another drink. She felt very warm. Beast Boy turned back to the skyline, an easy smile on his face.

“I got it at Tarf’s Outlet down by Pier Six. Same with the hat.”

“Of course they were sold at the same place.”

He chuckled and began drawing lazy circles on her leg with his index finger, unknowingly leaving goosebumps in his wake. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Beast Boy spoke again.

“Today was fun,” he murmured.

“Yeah?” Raven asked, taking another sip just to have something to do.

He hummed in response, then looked at her again. “I mean… I had fun. Did you?”

There was a hopeful look in his eyes that pulled at Raven’s heart.

“I actually did,” she said and smiled at him.

His ears perked up. “You did?”

“I really did,” Raven said. “Honestly, I had a lot more fun than I was expecting… mostly thanks to you.”

She wasn’t sure she had ever seen Beast Boy smile so wide before. She noticed his eyes flick down before he quickly looked back to the skyline, his ears turning a dark green.

Raven downed the rest of her drink and set the cup aside, taking a deep breath. She felt like her heart might burst out of her chest and her nerves were screaming despite the alcohol in her veins.

“I just…” Raven began quietly. Beast Boy looked at her, eyebrows knitted and she quickly looked down at her lap. She swallowed. “I just hope I didn’t impose on your fun by making you hang out with me.”

Beast Boy blinked, processing what she had said.

“Rae…” He ducked his head to make eye contact with her, using a hand to lift her head back up.

“You've been around me long enough to know that I’m not going to do something if I don’t already want to do it,” he said, not breaking his gaze or moving his hand. “So, you didn’t make me do anything. Also… impose on my fun? Rae -- you were the fun. Today was, without a doubt, one of the best days of my life because I got to spend it so closely with you -- just doing stupid shit. It was amazing and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Honest.”

They stared at each other, noses inches apart.

Heart pounding in her throat, Raven moved the arm she had around him so that her hand was on the back of his neck. Closing the distance between them, she pressed her mouth against his, kissing him gently as she brought her other hand up to cup his face.

Beast Boy hesitated a moment before eagerly returning the kiss, the hand that he had used to raise her head quickly moving to tangle in her hair, the arm around her waist pulling her closer.

All of Raven's nerves and insecurities evaporated. Nothing had ever felt so right to her .

That first kiss was long and sweet as Beast Boy's lips moved tenderly against hers. Her head swam as she melted into him, thumb gingerly caressing his cheek.

He was holding her so closely, so tightly, like he never wanted to let her go.

She deepened the kiss, moving forward so both of her arms were wrapped around his neck, one hand combing through his hair while the other gripped a handful of his shirt. Aching to be closer to him, she pressed herself into his bare torso, their chests separated only by Raven’s bralette -- a fact not lost on the changeling.

His hands moved down, fingers gripping her soft curves, holding her firmly against him as his kisses became hungrier. Raven traced the corded muscles of his shoulders, chest, and abdomen, making him shiver.

Her flush deepened when she realized she could feel him growing hard underneath her. Curious about what further effect she could have on him, she placed a hand on the wall behind them for leverage and ground down on him, eliciting a delicious groan from Beast Boy that set her insides on fire.

He began peppering her jaw, neck, and collarbone with kisses and she lifted herself up, swinging a leg over his lap so that she was straddling him. Raven brought his mouth back up to hers and kissed him deeply as he used both hands to grope her ass. She gasped and ground down on him again, excited at how much more of him she could feel in this position.

Beast Boy moaned against her mouth and kissed her fiercely, his tongue slipping inside, making her shudder.

He tasted alcohol, snapping him back to reality.

She’s drunk. You’re not. You’re taking advantage of her.

Beast Boy opened his eyes, a sick feeling taking hold in his chest at what he was doing. He pulled back from Raven slightly. She began kissing along his jaw, slowly moving toward his neck, a hand coming up to caress his ear. He desperately wanted to let her keep going.

She’s drunk and she trusts you and you’re taking advantage of her.

That voice in the back of his mind made him nauseous. Beast Boy put his hands on Raven’s shoulders and gently pushed her away, holding her there.

Looking at her face in those few moments made his heart ache. She was so beautiful. Her face was flushed pink, lips swollen, eyes just now fluttering open. God, he loved her.

“Rae…” he said, voice husky.

Raven looked at him, confused.

“You don’t want me?” she asked quietly, eyebrows knitted.

“What?! No! Ra--"

Several things happened at once. Beast Boy heard Raven’s sharp intake of breath, saw her eyes widen as pain flashed across her face, felt her recoil from him. Then, in a blur of black energy, she was gone.

And so Beast Boy sat on the roof, alone, staring at the empty space she had occupied only seconds ago, trying to figure out what had just happened.

Chapter Text

Raven landed in a heap on her bedroom floor -- not exactly where she had intended, but close enough. She stared at her ceiling, chest heaving and mind racing. Beast Boy’s words played over and over in her head.

What?! No!

He didn’t want her. He had made that perfectly clear.

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. She was trembling, willing the lump in her throat to go away, the tears not to fall, the sobs not to come.

But it was not meant to be. She quickly sat up, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to keep herself together even as she was falling apart.

The sobs wracked Raven’s body, so violent and unrelenting that she was soon gasping for air before more hit her. Hot tears poured down her face and neck as she shook, the unbearable pain in her chest only growing.

What?! No!

And the way he had looked at her . Like she was so stupid for even thinking that he could ever want her. Who could ever possibly want her?

Raven staggered to her feet, nearly blinded by the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. She stumbled over to her door. Between sobs and shaky breaths, she turned the deadbolt and disabled the door’s emergency open feature. She knew Dick would give her hell about it later but she just couldn’t bear the thought of facing anyone right now.

She lurched over to her bed, falling onto it and curling into a tight fetal position, the wracking sobs overtaking her. She heard items falling off of shelves and crashing to the floor around her but she didn’t care.

This wasn’t what it had felt like when Malchior had betrayed her. No -- that would be like comparing a scraped knee to a gunshot wound. Raven felt like her chest was being ripped open, her heart torn out and repeatedly ground into the carpet. The pain was radiating throughout her body and she just couldn’t stop crying.

What?! No!

No!

No!

Raven knew then with absolute certainty that she was in love with him.

And Beast Boy didn’t want her.

She had kissed him and he had pushed her away.

She had been so stupid. How could she have been so stupid? So deluded? Of course he didn’t want her. No one did. No one ever did. She was satan’s daughter -- dangerous, volatile, evil, cold, uncaring, detached. No sense of humor, never any fun, always wanting to be alone.

Unlovable. Undesirable.

What?! No!

Raven clenched her jaw, grinding her teeth, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. She hated herself. Why was she like this? Why did she have to be like this? Why couldn’t she have been born someone else?

Books flew off her shelves, landing haphazardly around her room, pages scattering.

Unable to catch her breath, Raven’s sobs began to grow silent, her small frame trembling on her bed. She had been wrong about everything -- all of the signals, all of the touches, the looks, the attention, the words. Sure, he had flirted with her, but he was a flirt, she knew that, and he knew she knew that, so she couldn't say that he had led her on. No, Beast Boy was just being a good friend, that’s all it ever was, because he was a good friend, and she had read too much into it, searching for something that was never there. And then she had forced herself on him and made an idiot of herself and he had been too kind, too caring to say anything until she had finally taken it too far.

Had everyone else, everyone who had encouraged her to pursue him, had they misread everything, too? Or had they just been humoring her? Too afraid of hurting her feelings to tell her the truth? Raven didn’t want to think about it. She wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to face any of them again -- especially him.

The only viable option that Raven could think of moving forward was leaving the Titans altogether, which only made her cry harder.

Beast Boy sat on the roof, arms still extended to where they had been holding Raven seconds ago, blinking, wracking his brain.

What the hell had just happened?

He drew his legs in, propping his elbows on his knees, head in his hands, thinking.

She had kissed him -- which completely blew his mind.

They were making out. Okay. 

But he had tasted the alcohol on her and realized that she was still totally inebriated -- wait, was that why she had kissed him? She was just drunk?

He shook his head, shying away from the thought like a horse from a snake. No, it had definitely felt like more than that.

The last thing Beast Boy had wanted to do was take advantage of her, which he felt like he was very much on the track of doing, if he hadn’t been already. With the way she had been grinding down on him, he had known exactly where things were leading. The idea that his first time with Raven -- well, technically with anyone but especially with Raven -- could be tainted, marred with alcohol and dubious consent would have been enough to make his mental state spiral into a very dark place.

So, he had gently pushed her away from him. He had been about to say something but she had looked at him with those gorgeous eyes and he was suddenly transfixed.

What was it she had asked?

Beast Boy ran his hands through his hair and leaned back, head against the wall. He stared straight up into the night sky.

You don’t want me?

And he had said…

Beast Boy’s eyes widened.

“FUCK!”

He was on his feet in an instant, running for the stairwell. He turned and hurled himself down the first flight of stairs before sprinting down the hallway.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no he had told Cyborg that he’d fuck it up and he was right -- he always fucked up everything. No no no no no no no he couldn’t lose her now, not now that he was so close.

Beast Boy threw himself down the next flight of stairs and sprinted a short way down the next hallway. He burst through a door into the passage that led to his and Raven’s room, the door to the common area around the far corner.

He ran down the corridor, nearly slamming into the wall when he couldn’t stop in time. He was facing Raven’s bedroom door.

His nostrils flared. He could smell her, and it was new -- she was definitely inside. He raised a fist but paused, ears twitching. He leaned in closer.

Muffled sobs. She was in there, crying, because of him. His heart broke at the sound, a pang of guilt gnawing at him. She thought he didn’t want her. He had hurt her.

A wave of self-loathing washed over him but he quickly shook it away. He didn’t have time for that right now. The longer he didn’t explain himself the worse it would be, the longer she would be in pain.

Beast Boy raised his fist again and pounded on Raven’s door.

The sudden pounding brought Raven out of the dark depths of her own thoughts. She sat up and stared at her door, blinking through her tears. She knew it was him . She could feel his aura.

"Raven! Open the door! I know you're in there!"

This was followed by more pounding.

Raven took in a shaky breath. What was he doing here? Was he going to try to let her down easier to make up for what he had blurted out on the roof?

It's not you, it's me…

Raven knew that would be a lie. It was definitely her.

Or was he going to try to convince her that it was okay, they could just forget about what happened and still be friends?

The thought felt like a knife through her heart. Raven knew she wouldn't be able to do that. It would be impossible for her, especially now that she knew how much she loved him.

"Raven! Open the door!"

Beast Boy was yelling now, desperate. Being able to hear his voice so clearly only twisted the knife in her heart and she squeezed her eyes shut, clapping a hand over mouth, trying to choke back a sob. She did not want him to hear her cry.

He went silent for a moment and Raven heard him take several deep breaths before speaking again.

"Please, please, please let me in so I can explain myself. It was all a misunderstanding, I promise, just let me in and I’ll explain everything. Please, Rae Rae, I am begging you.”

The use of his exclusive pet name for her pushed her over the edge and the sobs once again took over, wracking her body.

“Just go away, Beast Boy,” she cried, knowing he’d be able to hear her.

She had called him by his alias for years, but now hearing it come out of her mouth was like a punch to the gut. He winced and dragged both hands down his face.

He had been so close, he had been able to kiss her, but of course he fucked it up. Like he always did. He could never do anything right. He wasn’t sure why anyone bothered putting up with him anymore. Comedic relief, maybe?

Beast Boy looked at the keypad under Raven’s nameplate and quickly punched in her passcode, only for it to flash red. So, she had drawn the deadbolt.

He then felt along the door frame for the edges of the panel he knew hid the emergency door release. Finding it, he used a claw to pry it open and pressed the red button. Nothing.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit,” he said under his breath.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” Raven’s voice came from the other side of the door, shaky and raw.

It physically hurt him to hear her like that, and the fact that he was the cause only made it worse.

“Hey, I told you I was going to be insufferable and I am a man of my word,” Beast Boy said, trying to bring levity to the situation.

Silence.

He couldn’t let it go on any longer. “Raven, you and I both know that this door won’t keep me out of that room. So save me some energy and open up or I’ll find another way in.”

Raven took a quick step back from the door, suddenly panicked. He was right -- she couldn’t keep him out. He could easily morph into a gnat and go through the air vents or turn into a dust mite and traverse the carpet, completely bypassing the door.

When she didn’t answer, she heard the soft whoosh of him changing shape. Raven turned and ran to her bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her. Flipping on the lights, she was shocked when she saw herself in the mirror.

She was a wreck. Her pale face was red and splotchy, her eyes and lips were swollen from crying, her eyes were bloodshot and she had black mascara and eyeliner running down her cheeks and neck, mixing with her tears. Raven held up her hands and saw that they, too, were covered in black from wiping her eyes.

She whipped around when she heard Beast Boy’s human feet land on her carpet and immediately approach her bathroom door. She pressed her back against the sink, hands gripping the counter on either side of her. She took a shaky breath, tears threatening to spill over.

The doorknob jiggled. Her heart clenched. Why wouldn’t he just leave her alone?

“Raven…” he breathed. He was so close.

Her tears fell. “Look, I get it, okay? You don’t want me. Message receiv--”

“NO!” Raven jumped at the fierceness in his tone. “No, you don’t get it, Raven! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I want you! I’ve wanted you for the last four fucking years! You’re everything to me, everything that I’ve ever wanted , so please, please, please open this door so I can at least try to fix what I fucking fucked up!”

Raven stared at the door, shocked. On the other side, Beast Boy stood trembling, heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, trying to keep it together. His breaths came out short and shaky. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t.

He was about to renew his plea when his ears twitched. He focused on the bathroom doorknob and heard a soft click.

Raven had unlocked the door -- but the knob didn’t turn and the door didn’t open. She was leaving whatever happened next up to him.

She stood, her back pressed into the sink again, watching the door knob, mind racing. She was incredibly confused. Thinking about what he had just said and what he had said on the roof, topped with everything that had happened in the past couple of days left her reeling.

Then the door was ripped open and all Raven saw was a green blur as Beast Boy stepped toward her, reaching out and pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. One of his arms was around her waist and the other was up and across her back as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing deep.

Raven didn’t move, her arms held out at her sides. She didn’t know what to do.

Slowly, she realized she could feel him shaking. She looked down. He was trembling, clinging to her like she was a life raft in the middle of the ocean.

Looking down had been a mistake. Raven got a strong whiff of his intoxicating scent, that smell of the earth, the forest and rain. It made her heart ache. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping the tears that were welling up again would go away. Hadn’t she cried enough?

But no -- they fell, like they always did, and Raven brought a hand up to her mouth to try to stop the sobs, but failed at that, too.

Beast Boy both heard and felt the sob and immediately pulled back to look at her, hands coming up to gently cup her face. “Rae, no, please don’t cry,” he said, his own voice breaking as he thumbed away her tears.

Raven took a deep, shaking breath as she tried to calm herself. “I’m so confused,” she whispered, then bit her lower lip to keep it from quivering, eyes swimming.

“What I said on the roof, it was just a knee-jerk reaction,” Beast Boy said. “You really caught me off guard with that question -- and I am in no way blaming you, I just mean that, like, I wasn’t thinking straight for, uh, obvious reasons and you asked me that… which, you know, to me was such an absurd question to begin with, like… me? Not want you? It was just so… ridiculous that I guess my brain just automatically rejected it and I just blurted out ‘no’ without realizing that it wasn’t necessarily even a yes or no question and then you were just gone and it took me a minute to figure out what the hell happened because I’m such a fucking idiot and I just fucked everything up and I am so, so sorry, Raven, I never meant to hurt you, I swear to God.”

She stared at him. She had been focusing on his emotions the entire time and she knew he was telling the truth. He was genuine, sincere, remorseful.

She took another shaky breath and threw her arms around him, crushing her body against his and immediately burst into tears again.

“You fucking idiot,” she cried into his neck. Relief flooded through her as he held her tightly.

Beast Boy chuckled weakly. “We’ve already established this, Rae Rae. I’m your idiot.”

Raven laughed through her tears. She pulled back to look at him. “I really thought that-- that you didn’t--”

“Hey, hey hey hey,” he said and began kissing the tears off her cheeks. “Let’s just forget about that, okay? I want you. I’ll never stop wanting you.”

“Then why’d you push me away?” she asked.

“Well… ahhh” Beast Boy flushed “things were starting to get… heated with the way you were, uh, grinding on me so I, ah, felt like I kinda had a vague idea of where things might have been heading…”

Raven blushed and tried to look away but Beast Boy was still cupping her face.

“But you’re drunk, Rae. Like, really drunk. Making out was fine but anything more than that and… it just didn’t feel right. I felt like I was taking advantage of you, Rae, so I had to stop.”

“You pushed me away because you felt like you were taking advantage of me?” Raven asked, heart swelling.

“Believe me, I wanted to let you keep going but I… just couldn’t,” he said.

“Gar…” she breathed and leaned forward, kissing him.

It was short and sweet and when they pulled apart, he smiled down at her.

“I never want to hear you call me Beast Boy again,” he said.

Raven smirked at him. “Maybe don’t be such an idiot, then.”

“You’re asking way too much of me.”

She huffed a laugh and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest. He held her, one hand rubbing circles between her shoulder blades.

“Will you stay here tonight?” she murmured.

“Oh… you thought I was leaving?” he asked. She could hear the grin in his voice, making her smile.

“Well, not anymore,” she said. He laughed.

“Mmm, actually I need to change,” Beast Boy said. “I should probably shower, too, or else your sheets are gonna get super gross. I got really sweaty today.”

“How attractive,” Raven deadpanned.

He huffed. “Oh, don’t act like you didn’t sweat.”

She smiled sweetly at him. “Demons don’t sweat.”

He blinked at her. “They-- wait, you’re only half demon though!”

Raven laughed at the confused look on his face. “I’m just kidding. Go get ready. I’ll do the same.”

Beast Boy shook his head, chuckling. “Okay, but I think you’re forgetting something.”

She raised an eyebrow. He grinned and cupped her face, ducking his head and kissing her deeply. He walked her back until she was pressed between him and the bathroom counter.

Raven kissed him back, melting into him, arms wrapping tightly around him. In that moment, everything else fell away.

Beast Boy eventually broke the kiss, but didn’t let her go, instead kissing along her cheek and down her neck, nuzzling the hollow of her collarbone right where she was ticklish. Raven laughed and tried to push him away but he was far too strong.

“Gar, stop!” she gasped, trying to wriggle her way free.

He grinned at her and quickly kissed her again. “God, I love it when you call me that,” he murmured, forehead pressed against hers.

“Go get ready!” she giggled, lightly shoving him away.

Beast Boy took a step back, still grinning at her. “Fine, but you better be ready when I get back.”

Raven made a shooing motion at him with her hands, making him laugh. He finally turned and left.

She remained standing there for a moment, back pressed against the counter, and wrapped her arms around herself. Raven smiled down at her feet, feeling elated.

Chapter Text

Raven had showered -- not bothering to wash her hair, as she had already done that earlier -- and changed into an old, gray East Jump City Community College t-shirt she had thrifted for a quarter and black cotton shorts. Now she lay snuggled in her bed, waiting for Gar. She had texted him that the deadbolt wasn’t drawn so he could just come in whenever he was finished.

Raven was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, but she didn’t want to go to sleep until he was there with her. She rolled onto her side facing the door and picked up her phone.

Gar: I still get to be big spoon right?

Raven smiled, heart fluttering.

Raven: Whatever you want.

Gar: I just want you

Raven: Are you texting me while you’re in the shower?

Gar: ……no

Raven: Garfield.

Gar: :)

She shook her head, still smiling, and opened Instagram, mindlessly scrolling to pass the time. It usually surprised people when they learned she had an account and she couldn’t really blame them. She wasn’t a huge fan of social media. Her Instagram was protected and she had fewer than 100 followers -- all of whom she had met and knew in real life. She rarely posted and never accepted random follower or message requests, instead preferring to lurk, liking and occasionally commenting on her friends’ posts.

It was in stark contrast to Gar’s account, which was public and had hundreds of thousands of followers. She had seen him take a picture of a dirty, abandoned sock on the beach before and post it just to prove to Vic that it would get thousands of likes and hundreds of comments within hours. And it did. She always had to be careful about commenting on any of his posts because she would inevitably be flooded by follower and message requests, as well as people replying to her comment, trying to start a conversation with her. It irritated her. She didn’t know how he kept up with it.

Her door slid open and Gar walked in, followed by the muffled sound of the party still raging in the common area. He was wearing a purple Nike Lakers t-shirt and black basketball shorts. He smiled at the sight of her and immediately walked over, bending down to kiss her.

Raven smiled at him and looked down at his shirt, reaching out to touch it. “Wasn’t I with you when you bought this?”

Gar grinned. “Yeah! I was wondering if you’d remember.”

“You were so dead set on buying the yellow one even though it clashed horribly with your green skin,” Raven said.

“I believe your exact words were ‘you look like an unripe banana and not in a good way.’”

Raven started giggling. “I don’t know why that offended you so much.”

“Because if I’m going to look like any unripe fruit, it’s going to be a mango!”

Raven giggled harder and tugged on him, signaling for him to get into bed.

Gar raised his eyebrows. “In the bed?”

She looked at him strangely. “Did you think I was going to make you sleep on the floor?”

He blushed and looked away. “No, no, I, uh, just didn’t want to assume anything.”

“You asked if you could still be the big spoon…”

He straightened and began vaguely gesturing around, clearly flustered. “I mean, I-- uh, I just…”

Raven sat up. “Gar.”

He looked at her and she pulled back the blankets, patting the spot next to her. He nodded, looking relieved, and crawled over her. Sliding under the covers, he quickly pulled Raven back into him, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

She nestled further back into his chest, his warmth incredibly comforting. She felt Gar breathe her in and kiss her shoulder before burying his face in her neck and hair.

“I always thought you looked better in purple, anyway,” Raven murmured.

“It’s my favorite color,” he whispered and kissed her neck.

She sighed, content, and quickly fell asleep. That night, she had no nightmares.

Raven awoke slowly to the sound of quiet, gentle snores. She blinked her eyes open and glanced around. Early morning sunlight streamed through her sheer curtains, illuminating the disaster that was her bedroom. She sighed, taking in all of the items that were destroyed when she had lost control of her powers. She’d have to clean it up at some point today.

A particularly loud snore drew Raven’s attention back to the person laying next to her. They had flipped in the night and Gar was now on his back with Raven cuddled into his side, head on his chest. He had an arm across her upper back, holding her against him, their legs tangled together in the blankets. Raven breathed him in. She felt so relaxed. 

Gar stirred, sleepily reaching his other arm over and gently tugging Raven further on top of him. She fought down a goofy smile. At this point, she was more on him than her actual bed. Not that she was complaining.

“Mmmmmm, ‘morning, gorgeous.”

Raven looked up to see Gar peeking at her with one eye while rubbing the other with the hand he had just used to pull her on top of him.

She smiled. “Good morning.”

He ducked his head and kissed the chakra stone affixed to the center of her forehead. Before he could retreat, she slid a hand behind his neck and brought her mouth to his, kissing him lightly.

“How did you sleep?” she murmured.

“Like a log,” he said, grinning. “What about you?”

“I… I can’t remember the last time I slept so well,” Raven admitted, feeling a little shy.

Gar just smiled at her and began rubbing those soothing circles between her shoulder blades. They stayed there for a while, in comfortable silence, happy to just be together.

“Gar,” Raven said, breaking the tranquility. He hummed in response. “We need to talk.”

She immediately regretted her choice of words as she felt a spike of anxiety and fear come off the changeling. Raven looked up at him and used a hand to cup his face.

“No, no, no, not like that,” she said, caressing his cheekbone. Worry was replaced by relief in his eyes.

“What, then?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Raven blushed. “Well… how we feel… and us. If there even is an us.”

Gar’s face turned serious. “I would really like there to be, Rae.”

Raven couldn’t keep herself from smiling this time and shyly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. She sat up and gazed down at him. He was a splash of verdant green in a sea of dark purple, making Raven realize how much she loved the way he looked in her bed.

“I just thought now would be a good time to talk about it since we’re both sober and we’re alone… if you’re up for it,” she said.

“Of course,” Gar said eagerly, moving to sit up and face her.

“Okay,” Raven said, face burning. She was suddenly unable to look at him. “Um-- Well, I, uh… we should probably start with how we feel …”

Gar grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb across the back. “How about I go first?”

Raven nodded. “If you want,” she whispered.

He ducked his head, grinning and trying to make eye contact with her. “Can you look at me, though?”

Her blush deepened and she finally lifted her head to look at him.

“You’re adorable,” he chuckled. He then took a deep breath before looking at her again and rubbing the back of his neck. “Rae, I…” he started fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt and swallowed “I-- I’m in love with you, Rae. I am so, so in love with you. And I have been for a few years now.”

Gar chuckled weakly. “Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. Do you remember? On the Gordanian ship?” Raven nodded and he smiled. “You laughed at one of my jokes… and that didn’t happen again until I called you a small jalapeno.”

“Gar,” Raven breathed.

He shook his head. “I’m not finished. Rae, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and sometimes when I look at you, it’s like I can’t breathe. And the fact that you give me the time of day is absolutely mind-boggling. You’re smart, intelligent, witty, clever, kind, caring, compassionate, loyal, and just everything that makes a person good. And I love you, Rae, and whether you feel the same way or not, that’s really not going to change because if I was capable of getting over you I’m pretty sure that would have happened by now.”

“I don’t want you to get over me, Gar,” Raven said, eyes swimming. He looked up at her sharply. She reached out a hand, touching his cheek. He grabbed it and held it to his face, looking at her, hopeful.

“I love you, Gar. I love you so much. All I want is to be with you because you bring out the best in me. You make me so genuinely happy and I’ve never had that before and I want to be able to do the same for you because you’re by far the best person I kn--”

Gar used Raven’s hand to pull her into him, cutting off her sentence with a deep kiss, both hands moving up to hold her head in place.

He pulled away an inch to look into her eyes. “You’re mine, okay? And I’m yours. We’re together -- exclusive. A couple.”

Raven nodded quickly and lurched forward, knocking him onto his back and kissing him fiercely. He gripped her to him and opened her mouth with his, tongue slipping inside. She shuddered like last time but now she tasted minty instead of like alcohol. She let out a soft moan as Gar explored her mouth and he rolled over so his body was pressing her into the mattress.

Raven felt like she was on fire, inside and out. Gar was on top of her, his weight bearing down on her, but somehow it still wasn’t enough. She parted her legs, wrapping them around his hips and he immediately ground down on her, making her gasp. He was already so hard.  

Raven felt a pang of fear in her chest. “Gar…”

He was sucking on a pulse point on her neck, giving her goosebumps, and he ground down again. Her moan came out louder this time. It just felt so good.

A twinge of anxiety joined the fear. “Gar,” she said more forcefully, pulling back slightly to look at him.

He finally looked up, eyebrows knit with concern. “What’s wrong?”

He made to roll off of her but she tightened her hold on him and shook her head.

“No, don’t go, I just-- before things go any further I just wanted to make you aware that I am, uh… very inexperienced with… well… everything,” Raven said, feeling embarrassed.

Gar stared at her for a moment. “What exactly do you mean by ‘inexperienced’ and ‘everything’?”

Raven blushed and looked away. “Well, ahhh… last night, on the roof was actually… my first kiss,” she trailed off quietly.

Gar gaped at her, green eyes wide. “I was your first kiss? How is that even possible?”

Raven glared at him. “I don’t like people touching me, Garfield. Well, people who aren’t you.”

He broke out into a wide, toothy grin. “Oh noooooo,” he said with faux despair. “Not only am I the only person who can touch you, but I’m also the only person who gets to kiss you and the only person who has ever kissed you? How awful! How will I ever go on after receiving such horrible news?”

Raven tried desperately to frown at him, struggling to keep the smirk off her face. She rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

His grin only grew. “You love me.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

“No takesies backsies,” Gar said, quickly kissing her.

“But,” Raven said, the anxiety and fear creeping back in, “that also means that I’m a virgin.”

Gar blinked at her. “So am I.”

It was Raven’s turn to be surprised. “Wait, what?”

His grin came back. “Your surprise is flattering.”

“But-- you’ve been on dates,” she said, confused.

He raised an eyebrow. “So have you.”

“I’ve never been on multiple dates with the same person like you have,” Raven countered, “and, besides, you and I are very different people.”

Gar smirked at her. “You’re not seeing the obvious, Rae.”

She knitted her eyebrows, confusion growing.

Gar sighed, dropping his head and then looked back up at her. “Sure, I had several opportunities to lose my v-card over the years, but it just never felt right.”

Raven stared at him.

He raised his eyebrows. “Because those women weren’t you, Rae. I told you that I’ve been in love with you for years… unless you weren’t listening, which-- rude.”

She huffed a small laugh and gave her head a slight shake. “No, I was listening… I’ve just never thought of myself as being particularly desirable.”

“Then you gotta change your mindset, Rae Rae,” Gar said and kissed her, trying to pour every ounce of his love for her into it.

Raven melted back into the sheets, her hands coming up to tangle in his messy hair.

After a few moments, Gar pulled back slightly. “We don’t have to do anything else if you’re not ready,” he whispered. “I’ll go at your pace. I’m just happy to be included.” He grinned, bottom fang popping out.

“No,” Raven breathed. “I’m ready. I want you, Gar.”

He nodded and she saw her words light a fire in his eyes. He kissed her fiercely, letting his entire body weight press down on her and forced his tongue into her mouth. She gasped and tightened her legs around his hips, bucking up into him. Gar groaned at the friction and ground down on her, making her moan.

He kissed along her jaw and again began nipping and sucking at her pulse points, determined to leave his marks. Raven brought her hands up and began massaging his ears, working from lobe to tip, making him shudder.

She smirked. “So they are sensitive,” she murmured. She brought his face back up to hers and kissed him then turned his head and licked up his ear. Reaching the tip, she bit it before gently sucking on it.

Gar’s hands gripped the sheets on either side of her as he quivered. “Fuck, Rae,” he gasped.

Raven licked back down the lobe. “I told you I dig the ears,” she whispered.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he murmured as he pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her hungrily.

Gar supported his weight on one arm and slipped a hand underneath Raven’s shirt. The feeling of his calloused fingers slowly working their way upward was enough to drive her crazy. A thumb brushed along the underside of her bare breast and she heard him sharply inhale.

“You’re not wearing a bra,” Gar breathed.

“What kind of psycho wears a bra to bed?” Raven whispered, making him smirk.

He kissed her and cupped her breast, noting her slight jolt with pleasure. It fit perfectly in his hand and he gently squeezed it, kneaded it with his fingers, making her heartbeat quicken. Raven gasped when his thumb began rubbing circles over her erect nipple. He took her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and began massaging and rolling it, making her back arch into his touch as she moaned his name.

Looking at her like that, Gar didn’t think he had ever been so turned on in his life.

“You like that?” he whispered into her ear.

“Yes,” Raven breathed, writhing underneath him. He smirked, loving every moment of it.

When he went back to kneading her breast, Raven pushed him away and sat up, eyes raking over him. Gar sat back on his knees, panting, face flushed a deep green, and there was a very prominent bulge pushing at the front of his shorts.

Raven looked him in the eyes and slowly took off her shirt, exposing herself to him.

She heard his intake of breath and saw his eyes widen. What she wasn’t expecting was the look on his face. Gar looked absolutely awestruck, like she had just taken the cover off of a recently-discovered ancient Grecian statue of some goddess of beauty. Raven blushed. She wasn’t even fully naked yet.

“You’re so beautiful, Rae,” Gar said, barely above a whisper, his eyes never leaving her chest.

To him, she was perfect. Her smooth, incredibly soft, pale gray skin, the slip of her waist meeting the swell of her hips, prominent collarbone, toned stomach, darker gray nipples, and her round, plump breasts that were just the right size for his hands.

Raven reached forward, her small hands going under the hem of his t-shirt, feeling the strong muscles of his midsection. In one fluid motion, Gar pulled his shirt off and was on top of her again, kissing her deeply. Feeling his bare chest against hers made the space between her legs ache and she rubbed herself against him, desperate for friction. Reaching down, he hooked one of her legs over his hips and she quickly did the same with the other just as he ground down harder than he had before. Raven gasped, nails digging into his back.

“I need you,” she whimpered, hips bucking upward.

He smiled down at her and kissed her chakra stone. “Patience.”

Gar lowered himself, taking her other nipple in his mouth, sucking and nipping at it while his hand worked at the other, making her writhe with pleasure. He moved his mouth to her other nipple, performing the same ministrations, as his hand slowly slid down her bare stomach and into her shorts. His fingers slid under the hem of her underwear and he felt soft, shortly trimmed hair, which sent even more blood roaring to his crotch. At this rate, he was going to be lucky to last two minutes.

Gar parted her and slid his fingers through her labia, getting a feel for her.

He let go of her breast with his mouth and sucked in a breath. “You’re fucking soaked.”

She looked down at him with those big eyes and bit her lip. “That’s what you do to me, Gar.”

He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath. The last thing he needed was to finish before he even got started.

Raven combed her fingers through his hair and brought his mouth back up to hers, kissing him hungrily.

Gar easily found her clitoris and pressed down on it, relishing in the way it made her squirm.

“Gar,” she gasped.

He began rubbing it in slow, steady circles, picking up speed as her breaths came more rapidly.

“How’s that feel, baby?” he murmured into her ear.

“Don’t stop,” Raven whined, hand clenching in his hair.

He grinned and kissed along her jaw and neck. His goal was to reduce her to a quivering mess.

Gar swapped his fingers for his thumb, going back to rubbing slow, steady circles-- much to Raven’s frustration. She was breathing heavily and he knew she had been on the verge.

He slipped a finger inside her, making her gasp quietly, and he began pumping it in and out, thumb still rubbing.

She squirmed beneath him. “Another,” she begged, back arching upward as she brushed her sensitive nipples against his chest.

He held her there and kissed her deeply as he pushed another finger inside of her. She moaned, unknowingly opening her legs wider for him. He took a chance and pushed a third finger inside and began rapidly pumping them in and out of her, his thumb vigorously rubbing her clitoris.

“Oh, fuck!” Raven cried, the hand not clenched in Gar’s hair gripping the bed sheets as she rocked her hips to meet his pumps.

“Gar… Gar!” she gasped, eyes squeezed shut. “I’m-- I’m going to--”

“Do it,” he demanded, picking up his pace. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”

“I-- ahhh!” Raven yelled out as her orgasm swept through her, making her toes curl and body tremble. More items crashed to the ground around her room. Gar felt her walls clench around his fingers as she came but kept going, wanting her to have the maximum amount of pleasure.

Once her body relaxed, he slid them out of her. Making eye contact, he made sure she watched as he licked his hand clean.

When he was done, Raven was still panting and reached out for him. Gar leaned down and kissed her gently.

“I didn’t know it could feel that good,” Raven said between breaths.

“I’m not even finished yet,” Gar smirked.

“I know,” Raven said, and began sliding a hand down his stomach, “I need to return the favor.”

He grabbed her wrist and pinned her hand above her head, surprising her. “I wasn’t talking about me.” 

“But you just--”

“Nope,” Gar interrupted. “I’ve been thinking about this moment for four years and you think that’s all I’m going to do to you?” He grinned down at her wickedly and she felt the flame inside her reignite.

Raven blinked, heart pounding. “Four years?” she whispered. “Since we were 16?”

Gar stared at her, caught off guard. “Did I-- did I not say that before?”

She thought for a few seconds but slowly shook her head. “Maybe… last night? But I don’t really remember. I wasn’t exactly coherent… but four years , Gar?”

He smiled timidly and nodded.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Raven asked, stunned. “When you said ‘a few’ years I thought you just meant, like, a couple. Two, at most.”

Gar sat back and let out a sigh.

“I didn’t say anything because you are so insanely out of my league that we aren’t even playing the same sport,” he said, suddenly very interested in his cuticles. “You’re, like, an Olympic gymnast and I’m the kid that’s bench warming during tee-ball. I knew -- well, I thought I knew -- that I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with you so I just resigned myself to being your friend and trying to convince myself that that was better than nothing.”

His ears drooped and it pulled on Raven’s heart. She cupped his face, making him look at her.

“Why are you so mean to yourself, Gar?” she asked quietly. “I’ll have you know that’s my favorite person -- my boyfriend -- you’re talking about.”

He huffed a laugh and smiled at her, adoration and affection radiating off of him. “Your favorite person and your boyfriend? What’d I do to deserve that?”

“Well, you did buy me that super cool beanie. That definitely won you a lot of brownie points.”

Gar laughed and pulled her into a kiss. He then cupped her face and looked into her eyes. “I love you.”

She smiled, warmth flooding her. “I love you, too.”

Before she could react, Gar reached down, grabbed her behind her lower thighs, and pulled, flipping her onto her back.

“Gar!” she said, surprised.

He grinned and tugged on her shorts. “I do believe it is time to get rid of these.”

Raven blushed. “It is?”

“Only if you’re comfortable with it,” Gar said, pulling his hand away.

“I am,” Raven said quickly. “I’m just a bit… nervous.”

He leaned over her and kissed her, caressing her face. “All you have to do is say stop and I will,” he murmured.

She nodded. “I trust you.”

Hearing her say those words made him feel almost as good as hearing her say she loved him. He kissed her deeply, pressing himself against her.

When they broke apart, he sat back and took a hold of the hem of her shorts then looked up at her. She nodded her permission and he began to pull them down.

“You might as well take off my underwear at the same time,” Raven said, smiling.

“Well, I’m definitely not going to argue with that,” he said, making her giggle.

He grabbed her underwear and pulled them off with her shorts, leaving her lying naked in front of him. For a moment, all he could do was stare.

Gar put a hand on his hip and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know what, Rae, this is really unfair.”

Raven looked at him, confused. This was not the reaction she had been expecting. “I-- what?”

Gar gestured at her. “You’re a superhero, you’re brilliant, you’re funny, you’re gorgeous, and you have the hottest fucking body I have ever seen? Like, I am afraid to touch you right now. I’m gonna get third degree burns, Rae! Do we even know where the nearest burn unit is? You’re a fucking smokeshow! It’s just not fair! You should only get to be, like, three things. Tops.”

She stared at him and then down at herself. A small lump formed in her throat at what he had said. She started blinking rapidly and looked away from him.

He was up by her in an instant. “Oh, no. No, no, no, Raven, I’m sorry, no, don’t cry, please.”

She shook her head and kissed him. “No, it was really sweet, Gar. I’ve just worried sometimes that I might be a little too--” she made an hourglass shape with her hands.

He gave her a bewildered look. “You’re joking right? Rae, if your curves were water I’d gladly drown. If I were any thirstier for your curves, I’d be a fucking raisin.”

Raven smiled and hid her face in the crook of his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“No, no, thank you,” Gar said. “Like I said, I’m just happy to be included.” He grinned.

He ducked his head and kissed her, running a hand down her body.

“Now where was I?”

Gar kissed her again, then began kissing along her jaw and down her neck. Raven shivered when he kept going, kissing both of her breasts and down her stomach. He gently parted her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs before looking up at her, seeking her approval, her okay to continue.

“I-- I’ve never--” Raven murmured, suddenly nervous again.

“If you don’t like it, just tell me to stop and I will,” he said.

She nodded and rested her head back, closing her eyes.

Gar looked at Raven’s bare clitoris, labia, and vagina. She was so wet, they were slick and glistening. This close, he could smell her pheromones coming off of her in wafts, making his mouth water. She looked and smelled amazing.

He had never actually done this before but he had done some online research -- just in case -- and he was determined to give it the good ol’ college try. Really, he just wanted to make sure that their first time together was as memorable for Raven as he knew it would be for him.

Gar started by licking up her entire length, taking in all of her juices that he could. She gasped at the sensation but he couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad gasp.

Fuck, she tasted amazing.

Raven was already breathing heavily, just the knowledge that Gar’s face was between her legs enough to make her hot. He licked her again, dragging it out, long and slow, and she moaned, reaching a hand back to grip her headboard. He then used his tongue to circle her clit, making her gasp again, before he started sucking on it, gently rolling it between his teeth.

Intense pleasure shot through her body, making Raven cry out. Her back arched and she brought a hand down to tangle in his hair.

Gar quickly lapped up her fresh wetness, making her moan louder, and went back to sucking and rolling her clit.

“Oh my God, Gar,” she moaned. His ears perked up. She had never said that before.

Emboldened, he pushed two fingers into her, rubbing her walls, searching for her g-spot.

She let out a high-pitched cry as her back arched again, her hand clenching in his hair. Found it.

He made sure to hit that spot as he pumped his fingers in and out of her, slowly at first, then rapidly picking up pace while he continued working her clit with his mouth. She was writhing with pleasure and he pulled his fingers out, lapping her up before shoving his tongue inside her, thumb now working her clit.

Raven wasn’t forming words anymore -- every breath was coming out as a gasp of ecstacy.

Gar focused his tongue on her g-spot, going at it like he was starving.

“Gar, I--” she came, hard, her entire body shaking with the intensity of it. He felt the new wave of wetness and began licking it up, making her squirm even more.

“Holy shit,” Raven said after a few minutes, still trembling, panting.

Gar, resting his cheek against her inner thigh, looked up at her. “How was that?”

Raven was silent for a moment, then started laughing. “‘How was that?’” She started laughing harder. “Gar, I was seeing stars, I couldn’t control my body, and you’re asking how it was?”

“Hey, everyone needs a little performance review,” he said, grinning.

“Oh, ten out of ten, you get all of the gold stars, Garfield,” Raven said, giggling.

“All of them?!” he gasped, eyes widening.

She giggled harder, a little delirious from the orgasm high. “Get up here and kiss me.”

He did and held her against him, kissing all over her face, relishing in her laughs.

Raven reached down and slipped a finger under the waistband of his shorts, giving them a tug. She put her lips to his ear. “Take these off.”

He grinned. “And if I don’t?”

Raven looked him in the eyes. “You won’t be able to fuck me.”

Gar stared at her for a few seconds and then kissed her fiercely, forcing her onto her back. He sat up and took off his pants as Raven stared. She had nothing to compare him to, so she had no idea about his size, but looking at him made her ache, desperate to know what it would feel like to have him inside her.

He leaned over her and she opened her legs, pulling him down on top of her. Raven kissed him passionately and reached one hand down, grasping his penis and stroking him lazily. Gar groaned against her mouth and kissed her harder. She felt his precum on her hand and wondered how it would taste.

Raven broke the kiss and brought her hand up, sucking his cum off each of her fingers while maintaining eye contact with him.

“You are going to be the death of me,” he breathed. She smiled and kissed him again, hooking her legs around his hips and pressing herself against him.

Gar reached down and grabbed his cock and tried to guide himself inside of her. She was so wet though that once he thrust, he slid up her labia. He tried again with the same results.

Raven smirked. “Let me.” She reached down and guided him into her, gasping as his head penetrated her.

“You okay?” he asked, breathing deeply. She nodded.

Gar slowly pushed himself inside until he felt resistance. Raven’s hymen. He looked at her. She cupped his face.

“Break it,” she murmured.

He pressed his forehead against hers and studied her face. He pulled out slightly and then thrust forward, breaking through. Raven jumped slightly and winced and Gar began peppering her with kisses.

“I’m okay, Gar,” she whispered, thumbs caressing his cheeks. He nodded and kissed her, slowly pushing himself further inside, giving her time to adjust to him until he was all in.

Gar was breathing deeply, hands fisted in the sheets on either side of Raven, trying desperately to resist the urge to start pounding her into the bed. He did not want to hurt her.

“You’re so tight,” he groaned.

“Thanks?”

Gar chuckled and Raven kissed him, fingers combing through his hair. She was really loving the feeling of fullness, of having Gar inside her, of having him all to herself.

“You can move,” she whispered. “I’m ready. Just be gentle.”

“Of course,” he murmured and kissed her again as he began slowly thrusting.

The feeling of him moving in and out of her was indescribable and she was soon craving more.

“You can… you can go faster-- if you want,” Raven breathed.

Gar looked at her, eyebrows knit. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she said and brought his mouth down to hers, pushing her tongue inside.

He groaned and his thrusts grew more rapid. Raven’s headboard started hitting the wall as the sound of flesh slapping flesh filled the room.

Gar was panting and started nipping and sucking at Raven’s neck, only increasing her pleasure. Her nails dug into his back as she tightened her legs around his hips, bucking her own up to meet him in time with his thrusts.

“Fuck, Gar, don’t stop!”

“What’s my name?” he whispered into her ear.

“Gar!” she cried as her toes curled, her orgasm building.

“Louder,” he growled, pounding into her harder, relentless.

“GAR!” she yelled as she came, her eyes squeezed shut as her legs shook.

He kept going but her sudden increase in tightness and continued cries of pleasure quickly pushed him over the edge. He grunted and buried himself in her, unloading everything he had.

He collapsed slightly on top of her and they both laid there for a few moments, trembling and panting.

“I’m not wearing a… I didn’t put on…” Gar said, the realization suddenly hitting him as he looked at Raven.

She smiled and combed her fingers through his hair. “There’s a spell to prevent… anything from happening.”

Gar nodded and kissed her, then rolled off onto his back, still trying to catch his breath.

Raven immediately missed his warmth and shimmied across the bed toward him. He smiled at her and put an arm around her, drawing her into his side. He kissed the top of her head as she rested it on his chest.

“I love you,” he said.

Raven smiled, her heart soaring. “I love you, too.”

“Did I-- did I hurt you?”

She looked up at him and saw concern in his eyes. She put a hand to his face. “No, Gar. That was amazing.”

He smiled and turned his head to kiss her palm. “Good.”

Raven wriggled up so she was face to face with him and kissed him. When she began to pull away, he brought a hand up behind her neck to hold her still, kissing her deeply, making her head swim.

Eventually, Gar let her go and she lay down next to him, facing him. He pulled her in until their noses were almost touching, arm wrapped her. He tucked his other arm under the pillow her head was resting on. Both of her arms were folded in front of her, one hand pressed against his chest, thumb rubbing across it affectionately. Gar smiled and kissed her lightly. They lay there for a few minutes, basking in each others’ presence.

Raven shivered, goosebumps prickling her pale gray skin. Gar reached down and grabbed the blankets, bringing them up and making sure she was covered. He moved closer to her, holding her now-bundled form against him.

“My small jalapeno,” he whispered.

Raven smiled at him before tucking her head into the crook of his neck, closing her eyes. Soon, they were both asleep again.

Chapter Text

Raven woke for a second time a couple hours later to Gar still holding her. He was languidly scrolling on his phone and looked down at her, smiling.

“Hey there, sleepy.”

She smiled back. “What time is it?”

“Almost 10:30. Brunch is in an hour. Cyborg’s making waffles.”

Raven hummed, curling into him. He combed his fingers through her hair.

“I knew that’d make you happy,” he said.

“I need another shower, after our …activities,” Raven said.

Gar chuckled. “Can I join? It’d save water.”

“That’s the only reason?”

“Ah, you know me, Rae. Ever the environmentalist.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Raven smirked and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She stood and looked at him. “Okay. Come on.”

But he wasn’t listening. She blushed. Gar was staring at her body, completely transfixed. 

Raven leaned forward and grabbed his chin, lifting his head so he was looking at her.

“Gar.”

He grinned, bottom fang poking out, appearing a bit dazed. “Oh, hey.”

“We’re going to go shower.”

He nodded. “Right, right.”

Gar got up and followed her into the bathroom.

Wrapped in a towel, Raven entered her bedroom on wobbly legs. She really should have seen that coming. They were barely in the shower for five minutes before Gar had her pinned between him and the tile wall, her legs around his waist, his head between her breasts, cupping them against his face. Growing frustrated she had pushed him away just enough for her to slide down a bit, and suddenly he had been thrusting into her again, the sound of the shower muffling her moans.

Gar came out of the bathroom soon after, a towel around his hips, and Raven pointed at him.

“You need to calm down or I am not going to be able to walk,” she said.

He laughed, looking entirely pleased with himself. Sitting in a chair, he watched as she started looking for clothes. She pulled out a black thong, bra, and biker shorts. When she moved to look for a top, Gar spoke up.

“What t-shirt are you going to wear?”

Raven looked at him and shrugged. Gar picked up his Lakers t-shirt and tossed it to her. 

“How about that?” he grinned.

“Your shirt?” She held it up against her. The hem reached halfway down her thighs. “It’d look like a nightgown.”

“Tie it up. It’d be sexy.”

“You just want the other guys to see me in your clothes,” Raven said, smirking at him.

He grinned wider, not denying it. “C’mon, you’re the super hot and mysterious Raven. Obviously I’m gonna wanna brag a little now that we’re together.”

She rolled her eyes, trying not to smile and failing. “Fine.”

“Yes!” Gar’s arms shot straight up in the air in victory. Raven just shook her head. “Will you make a portal to my room so I can grab some clothes? I’ll be back.”

She nodded and sent him on his way. Then she got dressed, gathering the hem of Gar’s shirt at her waist and knotting it. She looked at herself in the mirror and decided it looked fine. She’d wear it if it made him happy -- she did like that it smelled like him. Raven sighed. She was getting soft. It had taken him exactly four sentences to convince her.

She went into her bathroom and brushed some product through her wet hair, looking at the outfit again. The shirt was tight around her lower rib cage where she had gathered it but baggy everywhere else. The ends of the sleeves reached her elbows and the neckline was wide, showing a bit of her collarbone and the hamsa necklace she had forgotten to take off.

Reentering her bedroom, Raven knelt down and began sorting through some of her destroyed belongings. Candles had exploded, potted plants had shattered as they fell off shelves, books had pages torn out of them, incense burners lay broken with ashes scattered, a lamp lay in pieces by her reading chair, even a shelf or two had snapped, dumping whatever they held all over the floor. She rubbed her temples.

Her door slid open and Gar walked in wearing a white tank top and dark gray shorts. He saw Raven sitting on the floor and glanced around, taking in the mess. He walked over and sat down next to her.

“We’ll just have to make sure we keep track of what was ruined,” Gar told her.

Raven continued rubbing her temples. “Why?”

“So I can replace it all.”

She looked at him, confused. “Why would you do that?”

“Uhhhhhhhhh because it was my fault this happened in the first place?”

Raven shook her head. “No.”

It was his turn to look confused. “No?”

“You’re not buying me new stuff.”

“Rae--”

“No.” Raven stood and Gar looked up at her.

“But I want to,” he said, eyebrows furrowed.

“And I don’t want you to,” she said, crossing her arms.

Gar stood and faced her. “So, you’re just gonna replace it all yourself?”

Raven looked at him, face blank. “I never said that.”

“Then… what? Your room is just gonna be bare?”

“Just drop it,” she snapped and glared down at her feet, jaw clenched. She could feel his surprise and hated herself.

Gar took a step closer and slid a hand down her back to her waist, pulling her in.

“What’s this really about, Rae?” he murmured.

“Nothing.”

He scoffed. “Right. Try again.”

She rested her forehead on his shoulder and was silent for a moment. “I don’t want you to waste your money on me.”

Gar huffed a laugh. “Wait, what? Waste my money?”

“Yes, waste your money. I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already am.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, leaning over so he was eye level with her. “What are you talking about?”

Raven just set her jaw and stared at him, remaining silent but he didn’t give in. She eventually looked down at her feet.

“It’s just… embarrassing, I guess.”

“What is?”

She was silent for a few more minutes but Gar continued to wait her out.

“I-- I don’t really have an income,” she said quietly, her face slowly turning red. “Without the Titans… I-- I’d be destitute. Right now, I think I have about… $20. Total.”

Gar looked at her, surprised. Raven shifted uncomfortably, unable to look at him, face burning with shame.

“How do you only have $20? The Titans stipend doesn’t pay you more?”

“No,” she said, staring at the carpet. “It’s enough for food, uniforms, and toiletries with a little left over. Everything in here is thrifted, a gift, or was on clearance. I’m the only one here exempt from paying rent or utilities -- I tried giving Dick what I had leftover every month but he refused to take it.”

Gar’s respect and appreciation for Dick grew.

“I guess whoever decided the stipend amount didn’t think it needed to be more,” Raven continued, “because every other Titan either comes from a wealthy family or has a day job. Dick has Batman, Star models, Donna’s a photographer, Cyborg has his parents’ patents, you have your trust funds, Roy works for the feds, and I’m just …here.”

Gar was silent for a moment, studying her.

“Why… why am I just now hearing about this?” he asked, trying to make eye contact with her.

Raven huffed and rolled her eyes. “Gar, this is the single most humiliating conversation I have ever had. Why would I tell you? So I could throw myself a pity party? It’s bad enough that Dick knows. I’m fine. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes… I could be doing a lot worse.”

“You could be doing a lot better, too, Rae,” Gar said. "What would you do if you had some kind of emergency?"

Raven shrugged weakly and resumed staring at the floor. "I don't know… sell a kidney on the black market? Start a GoFundMe? Ignore it until it goes away or I die?"

"That's not funny."

"I wasn't trying to be."

Gar stared at her again, unsure of how to proceed. He sighed.

“Well, if you don’t tell me what was ruined I’m just gonna have to guess and you’ll get what you get.”

Raven looked at him, exasperated. “I am not a charity case.”

He held up his hands in defense. “I didn’t say you were,” Gar grinned, “but you are my girlfriend, which means I reserve the right to spoil you, and if the way I want to spoil you is by showering you in gifts, there’s really nothing you can do about it.”

She shook her head. “You’re impossible.”

He pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. “The word you’re looking for is insufferable, Rae.”

Gar held her for a few minutes, rubbing her back and thinking.

“Did you, like, just forget that Steve Dayton’s one of the richest people on the planet?” he asked.

Raven hummed. “What does that have to do with me?”

Gar chuckled. “He’s my adoptive father.”

“I’m aware.”

“Okay, so then you’re also aware that he sends me an obscene amount of money every month. Literally more than I know what to do with.”

“That’s your money, Gar. I’m not taking it.”

“No, it’s Dayton’s money. And I’m kinda hoping that if you took some of it off my hands then maybe I’ll be spared when the revolution comes. I don’t really wanna be eaten, and between my monthly allowance and trust funds I’m pretty sure I’m on the list.”

Raven pulled back and smiled at him. “I’ll make sure you’re spared. I’m not taking your money.”

“I could get you your own debit card and he wouldn't even notice.”

“No.”

“Raven, it’s literally tens of thousands of dollars. Every single month.”

“That’s nice, but no.”

Gar threw his head back and groaned dramatically. Raven grabbed his hand and pulled him to the door.

“It’s time for waffles,” she said.

“When we go out, you are never paying for anything,” he said.

Chapter Text

They had rounded the corner and were about to approach the door to the common area when Gar suddenly stopped and tugged Raven back.

“We’re telling everyone, right? Because I really don’t think I can keep this a secret.”

Raven pointed at herself. “I’m literally wearing your shirt. That’d be a little hard to explain otherwise.”

Gar grinned and pulled her into a kiss. “It looks really good on you,” he murmured.

She smiled, wrapping her arms around him. “We should wait until we all sit down to eat though so we can tell everyone at once.”

He nodded. “I’ll have to make myself scarce then because if Cy or Roy looks at me even kinda weird, I will cave immediately.”

“I’ll bring you coffee,” Raven said, and pecked him on the cheek before taking a step back.

When they entered the common area, Gar made good on his word and bee-lined straight for the now-empty balcony before anyone could say a single word to him.

The vast majority of party-goers had left, leaving the Tower residents, Titans East and a few other stragglers.

Raven walked to the kitchen, ignoring Vic and Roy’s obvious pointed stares. She put her kettle on the stove and pulled down two mugs, filling one with black coffee. When she turned to retrieve her tea infuser, Roy was standing next to her with Vic close behind. She glanced at them, reached around Roy, grabbed her infuser, and turned her attention back to her now-steaming kettle.

“Sooo…” Roy said.

Raven stared at him, face blank.

Victor’s human eye flicked down and he smirked. “Lakers fan, huh?”

“You know I love baseball,” Raven said in her monotone. The kettle started whistling and she picked it up, pouring the hot water into her mug.

Roy and Vic glanced at each other.

“You also love coffee?” Roy said, nodding toward the second mug.

Raven hummed, dropping the tea infuser into the hot water. She picked up the two mugs and turned, looking out to the balcony just in time to see Bette approaching Gar. He was sitting cross-legged on a lounger, back facing the windows so Raven couldn’t see his expression when Bette reached down and caressed his shoulder.

Anger flared within Raven. She focused on Gar and was hit with stress, anxiety, and discomfort. So Bette was definitely bothering him then, and was standing way too close for Raven’s liking.

Raven sank into the kitchen floor without another word.

She rose a few feet behind Bette and Gar and placed the mugs on the balcony wall. Neither of them registered her sudden presence, allowing her to catch the end of a sentence.

“...your room last night but you weren’t there,” Bette said in a pouty voice.

“That’s because he was with me,” Raven said, walking up to them.

Bette shot her a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and stepped closer to Gar. She slid her hand further up his shoulder, fingers slipping underneath the strap of his tank top, all while looking Raven in the eyes. Gar tensed and tried sliding back on the lounger but Bette followed. When he stood to walk away, she was right there, grabbing his arm with that iron grip and lacing her fingers through his. He looked at Raven, an anxious expression on his face.

Rage and possessiveness roared within Raven's chest and she struggled to keep her face blank.

Rip her apart.

She ignored the voice. A nearby table cracked in half.

Bette smirked. “Something wrong?”

“Why the fuck are you touching him?” Raven said.

Bette looked at Gar, smiling at him. “He doesn’t seem too upset about it to me.”

She reached up a hand to cup his face but he flinched back. “Bette, get off.”

Raven felt her control slipping as her rage grew. Black shadows began to coalesce at her feet. 

Kill her.

No.

A chair exploded.

“Careful, your demon’s showing,” Bette mocked.

Gar looked at her, disgusted, and tried once again to get his arm loose but Bette only tightened her grip. He sighed in frustration. “Fuck this.”

He morphed his arm into that of a lemur and sidestepped, leaving Bette to grasp the air, then morphed his arm back. Darting over to Raven, the swirling black shadows parted for him and he quickly put an arm around her, hoping to calm her.

Raven clenched her fists and continued to scowl at Bette, who appeared unfazed by Gar’s departure. “Was there something you needed last night?”

Bette’s fake smile returned and she crossed her arms. “Oh, no… I just noticed he left the party early so I wanted to make sure he was okay.”

“Yes, he left the party early. With me. And, as you can see, he’s fine. Anything else?”

Gar looked between the two women, unsure if he should let them continue talking.

Bette huffed. “Well, we were actually having a private conversation until you arrived.”

“Uhhh, no,” Gar said, scrunching his face. “We weren’t.”

“We were about to be,” Bette said, smiling at him.

Raven wanted to claw her eyes out.

Do it.

A lightbulb burst. Gar put a hand on Raven’s waist and squeezed.

“Ah, well, I tell Rae literally everything so you might as well say whatever it is in front of both of us,” Gar said.

Bette looked between them. “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah, sometimes I go into too much detail and she has to ask me to stop,” Gar grinned.

Bette said nothing and just glared at Raven.

“Well, if you’re not going to say something, then I will,” Raven said, face stony. "I believe that Gar has asked you, point blank, to leave him alone. So, the fact that you completely disregard his boundaries and continue to harass him is honestly quite disgusting."

"Harass him?" Bette said, incredulous. "I am not harassing him."

"Right, and if you were a man and he was a woman, what would you call it then?" Raven asked.

Bette scoffed, now looking angry. "Oh, what, you think you're better than me or something? Is that it?"

Raven laughed, slightly caught off guard. "What? No. I really don't. Because for me to think I'm better than you would suggest that we're in some kind of competition and you've never even been a part of the fucking equation, Bette.”

Bette smirked. "Is that why he made a booty call to me last night around 3 a.m.?"

Raven was hit by a wave of intense anxiety as Gar paled and looked at her with wide eyes. "No-- I didn't--"

Raven cut him off, still scowling at Bette. "I'm an empath. You can't lie to me. And even if you could, I know exactly where he was last night 'around 3 a.m.': in bed, with me."

Bette was silent again and the women glared at each other. Raven broke the silence.

“Well, as much as I've enjoyed this little back and forth, I only have one more thing to say to you and I’m only going to say it once, so listen closely.”

Bette raised an eyebrow. Raven looked her in the eyes. “The next time you touch Gar will be the last time you have hands, so I would highly suggest keeping them to yourself.”

Bette squinted at her. “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes,” Raven said. “Good, I’m glad you understand.”

Bette looked at Gar and pointed at Raven. “And you’re okay with this?”

Gar glanced at Bette. “What?”

“She’s acting like she owns you,” Bette said, hands on her hips.

“Oh,” Gar said, looking back at Raven, grinning. “Yeah, dude, it’s hot.”

Bette stared at them for a moment and then scoffed, walking away to go back inside.

As soon as she was gone, Gar used a hand to cup Raven’s face, eyebrows knit in concern. “Are you okay?”

She looked at him and then dropped her gaze, remaining silent.

“Rae?”

She swallowed and shook her head slightly, still looking at the floor.

“Talk to me,” he murmured, bringing his other hand up. He used both thumbs to stroke her cheeks and she felt her eyes burn.

“I-- there was that… voice in the back of my mind,” her voice broke and she swallowed again, “urging me to… to rip her apart … to kill her and… and I wanted to, Gar.”

She took a shaky breath and looked him in the eyes. “I wanted to make her suffer."

Raven covered her face with her hands, pushing Gar's away. She was consumed by self-loathing and felt completely ashamed of herself.

Careful, your demon’s showing.

An icy hand gripped her heart. She wanted to disappear.

Gar pulled on one of her wrists, trying to get her to look at him again but she wouldn't. She couldn't.

"Rae," he said gently. "She was obviously provoking you."

"Yeah and it worked," Raven said. "It shouldn't have, but it did and I could have killed her."

"But you didn't," he said, pulling her into a tight hug and resting his chin on top of her head.

"Gar," she said, voice now muffled from both her hands and his chest.

"You wanted to, had the means to, but you didn't," he said firmly. "You're being too hard on yourself. Actions speak louder than words, Rae, and she was able to walk away from you without a single hair out of place."

Raven remained silent but eventually wrapped her arms around him, letting the sound of his heart calm her own.

"Besides, when was the last time you meditated?"

She thought for a moment. "Not yesterday morning but the one before."

"You need to do that. Today."

Raven nodded.

Gar held her for a few minutes and then ducked his head to look at her. "So, uh, did you forget the tea and coffee?"

She smiled and let him go, walking over to the wall to retrieve the mugs. They were still warm.

Turning, she saw Gar had sat back down on the lounger with a leg on either side. He smiled and patted the spot in front of him.

Raven handed him his coffee and sat sideways so her legs hung over one side. Apparently she wasn’t close enough, though, because Gar put a hand on her hip and pulled her in closer, then kept it there, thumb rubbing back and forth over the fabric of her biker shorts.

She smiled at him and took a drink of her tea.

Gar glanced over at the destroyed table and chair. “We needed to upgrade the patio furniture anyway.”

Raven grimaced. “Those were, ah… redirects.”

“What?”

She hesitated. 

“I was losing control and my powers were lashing out and… it was either the furniture or Bette,” Raven whispered.

Gar hummed, nonplussed, and took a deep drink of his coffee. He nodded. “So, not only did you ignore the voice and resist the urge to hurt her, but you also made the conscious decision to redirect your power elsewhere when you lost control in order to keep her safe?”

Raven blinked. “I… uh…”

He grinned. “You try to make yourself out to be a bad person but you’re just not, Rae.”

She stared at her tea, turning his words over in her head. Then she looked at him and ran a hand through his hair and down to his face, thumb caressing his cheekbone.

She smiled. “Thank you.”

He smiled back and shrugged. “I’m just telling the truth.”

Raven smiled wider and went back to her tea, taking a long drink. When she was done, Gar hooked an arm around her neck and pulled her into a deep kiss. Knowing they were in plain view of the common area, Raven tried pushing against his chest but he didn't budge.

He only let go once he was satisfied that she was thoroughly flustered.

"Gar," she gasped, pulling away, face completely red. She glanced behind him at the windows as their phones started vibrating. "They can see us!"

"Yup," Gar said, grinning ear to ear.

Raven pulled out her phone and Gar followed suit. She had several messages.

Arsenal: Bette's fucking pissed dude, you gotta tell me what you said to her lmao

She opened the next one.

Star: There is a mandatory debrief in my room following brunch. You, Jinx, Donna, Sarah, and I will be in attendance. No exceptions.

Star: *sent three photos*

Raven downloaded the photos and opened them, only for her blush to deepen. Starfire had obviously been watching them closely from one of the common area's many floor-to-ceiling windows, and had been able to get several very clear pictures of them. The first was of them standing, when Gar had pulled her into a hug and she had finally hugged him back, with his chin resting on her head. While her face wasn’t pointing toward Star, it was still obvious who Gar was hugging due to her hair and skin color.

The second picture was of them sitting on the lounger with Raven smiling and cupping Gar’s face. The last was the kiss.

Gar peeked over Raven's shoulder and chuckled. "She sent them to me, too. She's sneaky."

"She wasn't sneaky, Gar," Raven said. "You kissed me in full view of everyone."

Gar shrugged, grin never wavering. "I regret nothing."

Raven's phone buzzed again.

Dick: If BB found whatever he was looking for in your mouth, the food's ready

Gar laughed and turned, flipping off the windows. Raven hid her face in her hands, mortified.

"C'mon, I'm starving," Gar said, standing.

Raven shook her head and flopped over onto the lounger so she would be completely out of view from the others, face still hidden in her hands.

"There's waffles," Gar said.

"No."

Gar turned toward the windows, shrugged, and gestured at the lounger that hid Raven.

She heard the door open.

"Raven, if you don't get your ass in here I'm gonna lick all the waffles," Roy yelled. "And Vic used up all the ingredients so that's it!"

Silence.

Gar looked at Raven and then back at Roy, shaking his head.

"If you're not in here in five minutes I'm gonna take all your fancy teas and mix 'em in one big container!"

Raven quickly sat up, glaring at Roy over the back of the chair. "You wouldn't."

"Maybe, maybe not, but you're not gonna take the chance, are ya, Rae?"

Raven said nothing, continuing to glare.

Roy grinned and held up a hand. "Five minutes." He winked and closed the door.

She looked at Gar. “I’m really glad he doesn’t live here because I don’t think I could handle you, him, and Vic 24/7.”

Gar put a hand to his chest in mock offense. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

Raven rolled her eyes and stood, carrying her tea and stalking past him toward the door. Gar jogged to catch up, a grin back on his face.

She opened the door and entered the common area, making sure to keep her eyes down. She took one of the two chairs left empty and stared at her plate. Gar quickly sat next to her.

“Dude, I’m starving,” he said and started reaching for some food.

Victor smacked his hand and wagged a finger at him. “Nope. You’re not just gonna waltz in here and act like nothing happened. Spill, and then you get to eat.”

Gar looked around and saw everyone watching him. He looked at Raven, who was now also watching him. She raised her eyebrows and made a hand gesture that said “well?”

“Well, ahh," Gar grinned sheepishly and glanced over at Raven again, "for some reason that I still can't quite wrap my head around, Raven has agreed to let me be her boyfriend… instead of, you know, launching me into the bay. Heh."

His ears burned a dark green and he looked at Raven for approval. She gave him a small smile and patted his leg under the table.

Starfire was the first to react, squealing with delight and launching herself into the air, coming down between the two and pulling them into a hug. Sarah wasn't too far behind, adding to the dogpile.

"Oh, this is amazing," Star said, then gasped and grabbed Sarah's arms. "We can go on the triple dates!"

She looked down at Raven. "Right, Friend Raven?"

Raven glanced at Gar, who was obviously enjoying himself.

"Uhhh… sure, Star," she said quietly, and looked down at her hands.

"Wonderful!" Starfire clapped her hands and flew back to her seat, exuberant.

Raven felt eyes on her and glanced over to see Bette scowling at her. Raven smiled back.

"Congrats," Dick said. "Now what time did this happen, exactly?"

"Oh, I knew you guys would have a bet going," Gar chuckled, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. "Alright, who had what?"

"Midnight," Garth said.

Gar pointed at him. "Way off."

"1 a.m.," Jason said.

"Nope."

"4," Roy said.

"Warmer."

"6:30," Dick said.

"Close," Gar said, "but no."

He turned to his best friend and grinned.

"7," Vic said with a smirk.

Gar looked at the others. "You guys should know better by now than to bet against Cy."

"HA!" Victor yelled, pointing a finger around at the other men. "Pay up."

They sighed and pulled out their wallets.

"So," Roy said, grinning at Raven. "You got together at 7, but didn't come out here until about 11. What exactly were you two doing in those ensuing four hours?"

She turned beet red and stared down at her hands.

"Sleeping," Gar said, starting to load his plate.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" Dick asked.

"I know I'm always starving after getting a lot of sleep," Roy said, nodding at Gar's plate.

"Four hours is plenty of time to get lots of sleep, too," Jason said, pouring himself some coffee.

"Also plenty of time to get multiple hickeys," Garth said. "Or did B just poke you in the neck really hard a few times, Rae? You know… in your sleep."

They started snickering. Raven covered her face with her hands and leaned forward until her forehead was resting on the edge of the table.

"Guys," Gar said, gesturing at her.

"Okay, we're done," Dick said, chuckling.

"Sorry, Rae," Roy grinned.

"I hate you all," Raven mumbled at her lap, face burning.

Gar patted her back. "Want some waffles?"

Chapter Text

Gar watched from his position sprawled on the couch as Starfire ushered Raven through the hallway door toward her room, followed closely by Sarah, Donna, and Jinx.

He grinned and switched on the TV, quickly finding some sporting event to half pay attention to. He was soon joined by the other men and felt relieved when Bette, Lilith, and Karen went out to the balcony. 

"What is this?" Jason asked.

"Curling," Gar said, offering no further explanation.

Jason shot him a weird look, then shrugged and pulled out his phone to scroll.

"Hey, Dick?" Gar gave his leader a sideways glance. Dick hummed in response.

"Could Rae and I have the day off tomorrow? Like, after morning training? Obviously barring anything insane happening…"

"First date?"

"Nah, not yet, I still gotta plan that out," Gar said, scratching behind an ear. "I'm gonna take her shopping. A lot of stuff was uh… destroyed in her room. Heh."

The other guys turned to look at him and Gar squirmed. Dick and Victor smirked.

"There is no way you're that good in bed," Garth said, incredulous.

Gar glared at him. "Hey."

"What did you do? Turn into a horse?" Jason asked.

"The fuck’s wrong with you, man?" Gar gave him a gross look. "That's fucking nasty."

The others started laughing.

"Oh, fuck all of you," Gar huffed, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, you can have it off," Dick said, still chuckling. Gar nodded his acknowledgement.

"I guess since you're officially together, now would be a fun time to tell you that a couple days ago Rae came to me, a nervous mess, asking how to drop hints that she had a crush on you because she didn't have the guts to tell you outright," Vic said, grinning at the changeling.

Gar slowly turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and mouth slightly opened. "Wait, what? When!?"

"She tagged along when I went to buy alcohol for the party,” Vic said, then elbowed Roy. “He was in on it, too.”

Gar looked rapidly between the two, eyes wide. “You both knew? And you didn’t think to tell me!?”

Roy looked at him like he had just tried to seriously convince them that the Earth was flat. “Dude, you of all people should know how hard it is to gain enough of Raven’s trust for her to tell us something like that, let alone ask us for help.”

Victor nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I-- I guess, but it would have made things so much easier,” Gar said, running a hand through his hair. “Couldn’t you have convinced her to just tell me?”

“Pfffffft,” Vic shook his head. “Right. She’s more stubborn than you are , and that’s saying something. Besides, she was pretty convinced you didn’t feel the same way.”

Gar stared at Victor like he had abruptly grown three more heads.

Vic held up a hand. “I know, man, believe me. When she told me how she felt, I said I was happy for you two and I think her exact words were along the lines of ‘don’t be happy yet because I’m 99.9% sure he doesn’t like me like that.’”

Gar put his face in his hands and groaned.

“Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt,” Garth said with a smirk.

“Well get this,” Roy grinned and leaned forward to better look at Gar, “Rae was terrified you were gonna go for Bette instead of her.”

Gar gaped at him and Roy leaned back, chuckling.

Dick grimaced. “Yeah, Star mentioned that.”

Victor nodded. “Sarah told me, too.”

Gar threw his hands up. “Oh, was everyone in on this!?”

“No,” Jason and Garth said.

Gar stared at his hands for a few seconds.

“Am I-- am I that bad at flirting that she had no idea how I felt for four years!?” Gar asked, incredulous. “I have literally been hitting on her, hard, every single day for four years. And I have not been subtle either.”

“No, B, I think she’s just on my level in terms of obliviousness when it comes to these things,” Dick said. “It was pretty clear to the rest of us how you felt.”

The others nodded.

“Even to Titans East,” Garth said.

Gar looked at Roy and Vic. “What did you guys tell her to do?”

“Well, I knew Rae didn’t really need a wingman,” Roy said, shrugging. “But I knew she was genuinely anxious about Bette, who fucking hates me, so my objective was to just stick close to the two of you so she’d keep her distance. It mostly worked.”

“I wish Bette hated me,” Gar muttered.

“Same,” Dick said.

“See, you two are afraid of being assholes,” Roy said, pointing at them. “I am not.”

Gar glanced at Victor.

“I told her she needed to flirt with you and start touching you,” Vic said. “Ya know, the two things she’s never done with anyone. So I figured they’d be pretty strong hints coming from her.”

“Oh,” Gar furrowed his eyebrows and brought a hand to the back of his head. “I uh-- I was actually afraid that was uh-- just because she was drunk…”

“Guess Rae and I aren’t the only oblivious ones,” Dick said, smirking.

“She wasn’t drunk when you two were watching Attenborough,” Vic said.

“She also wasn’t drunk when she unbuttoned your shirt and felt up your arms,” Roy added.

Victor turned to Roy, stunned. “She did what!?”

“Yeah, I was surprised, too,” Roy said. “I thought Beastie’s heart was going to fail him.”

“It almost did,” Gar chuckled.

Victor smiled proudly. “I knew she had it in her.”

Raven sat cross-legged at the head of Starfire’s bed, clutching a pillow to her midsection. Starfire sat next to her along the headboard while Sarah was on her other side, back against the wall. Donna sat in Star’s desk chair and Jinx was sprawled on an oversized bean bag in the corner. They were all looking at her expectantly, but she remained silent, unsure of what she was supposed to say.

“Well?” Jinx asked, already grinning widely.

“Well?” Raven repeated, face blank.

“Well, something obviously happened between the time you and BB got on that elevator last night and seven this morning,” Sarah said.

Jinx pointed at Raven. “We are dehydrated and require the tea.”

Raven blushed. “It’s-- it’s really not that interesting…”

“Oh, no-- no way,” Starfire said, shaking her head, fiery curls bouncing everywhere. “You are not getting away that easily. The last time we talked, you had finally admitted to yourself that you loved him and now you are together. I need to know what happened in between, Friend Raven.”

“You could start with where you disappeared to,” Donna offered. “I’m guessing the roof?”

Raven nodded, staring at the duvet cover in front of her. “Yeah, I wanted us to be alone so I made an excuse about being around too many people for too long. He, uh, insisted that we sit up against the stairwell wall because he didn’t want me near the roof’s edge.”

She smiled, remembering his concern. “But, uh, instead of sitting next to him, I, uh, asked if I could, you know… sit on his lap…” Raven’s face burned.

“There we go!” Sarah said proudly, beaming at her. She pinched her fingers and gestured at Raven. “Progress.”

“But did he let you?” Donna asked.

Jinx scoffed. “Oh, of course he let her.”

“He did,” Raven nodded. “He, uh, actually joked that it was permanently reserved for me.”

“Oh, honey, that was no joke,” Donna said.

Raven’s heart fluttered and she continued on. “So, uh, we sat there for a little bit, just talking, and I was trying to build up the nerve to, you know, confess but then he said something so sweet that I just… kissed him.”

“You kissed him?” Jinx asked, surprised. Raven nodded, face half obscured by the pillow she was hugging.

“And?” Sarah asked, eagerly waving her hands in impatient circles.

“He was very enthusiastic, to put it mildly,” Raven said quietly.

Starfire squealed and clapped her hands then gripped Raven’s arm. “Oh, this is wonderful! I am so happy it all worked out!”

Raven grimaced. “Well… not exactly.”

The room went silent.

“Um, what?” Jinx said, sitting up on the beanbag.

“There was a… misunderstanding,” Raven said slowly. “Or, I guess miscommunication would be a better word for it.”

“What happened?” Donna whispered, eyebrows knit.

Raven’s heart dropped, the memory uncomfortably fresh -- the pain of losing him still close to the surface. She suddenly ached to go to him, to be reassured, to be given validation.

I’m in love with you, Rae.

Her anxiety eased.

“Raven?”

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see Starfire watching her. “Are you okay?”

Raven nodded. “Yeah, sorry… I was just thinking.”

She took a deep breath. “You all know I got really drunk yesterday.”

They nodded.

“Well, what a lot of people don’t know is that Gar sobers up incredibly fast because of his DNA… or metabolism… he’s explained it to me before but I can never remember. So, when we were on the roof, I was wasted and he was stone cold sober. After that initial kiss, we started making out and hands started to, uh… wander.”

The other women smirked and Raven hugged the pillow tighter.

“Things started to get heated really quickly and,” Raven blushed again, “he slipped his tongue in my mouth…”

“Oh, baby,” Jinx said, waggling her eyebrows.

“Jinx,” Donna hissed.

Raven ignored them. “...and tasted the alcohol on me and realized that I was still very much inebriated. So, he pushed me away, you know, hands on my shoulders, and I was so surprised I just assumed the worst right away and I was just filled with this icy dread so I guess I just wanted to rip the band aid off, get right to the point…”

She winced and took another deep breath. “Before he could say anything, I just looked at him and asked ‘you don’t want me?’ Because I just had to know. I couldn’t drag it out anymore, not after… all of that. But then he looked at me like I was insane -- which I completely misinterpreted -- and blurted out ‘what?! No!’”

Starfire covered her mouth while Sarah’s eyes widened slightly. Donna glanced at Jinx, who said “oh shit” under her breath.

Raven was silent for a moment, remembering the instant, searing pain his words had brought.

“It… it felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart torn out,” Raven said quietly. Starfire rubbed her back. “I portaled back to my room immediately, leaving him there.”

“But-- but…” Sarah looked at her, confused, “you’re together. He just told us that you agreed to let him be your boyfriend?”

Raven nodded, smiling again. “Apparently Gar can be much more persistent and unrelenting than I had anticipated.”

“He went after you?” Starfire asked, hands clutched to her chest, eyes shining.

“Yes,” Raven said.

“This is like a fucking Lifetime movie!” Jinx said, throwing her hands up.

Raven’s smile vanished. “So I was in my room, completely devastated. I managed to draw the deadbolt on my door and disable the emergency open feature--,” she glanced at Star, “don’t tell Dick -- before curling up on my bed and crying.”

“I wish you would have gotten one of us,” Sarah said quietly while Star nodded.

Raven shook her head. “No, I was in too much pain. I just wanted to be alone. I-- I don’t think I’ve ever cried that hard. But I don’t think even five minutes later there was this pounding on my door -- not knocking. Pounding. Actually, I should probably check it for dents… anyway, it was Gar and he was begging me to open the door but I wouldn’t listen. I told him to go away, to leave me alone, but, of course, he refused.”

Jinx huffed a laugh. “BB? Leave you alone? When has that ever happened?”

Raven smirked. “He tried telling me it was a misunderstanding but, again, I wouldn’t listen. So, he tried my door code and when that didn’t work, he tried the emergency door release, which also didn’t work. Then he reminded me that the door wouldn’t keep him out so I could either open it or he’d find another way in.”

“He was determined,” Donna murmured, leaning forward in the chair.

Raven nodded. “I heard him morph into something that could slip under the door so I panicked and ran into my bathroom and locked that door.”

“Rae,” Sarah covered her face with her hands and groaned.

“I know, I know,” Raven said. “I was drunk, okay? I wasn’t thinking straight and I honestly thought he was not interested in me whatsoever and the only reason he wanted to see me so badly was because he felt guilty about how bluntly he had rejected me on the roof and he wanted to let me down more easily… you know, say something about how we could forget about it and still be friends or it’s not me, it’s him. And I just really didn’t want to hear it.”

“Drunk you is a dumbass,” Jinx deadpanned.

Donna pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

“No, no, she’s right,” Raven said. “Anyway, he immediately tries to open the bathroom door and I get frustrated that he’s not letting me be so I try to tell him that I got it, he didn’t want me, message received, but he just completely went off.”

“He yelled at you?” Star asked, eyebrows knit.

“No, I wouldn’t say at me,” Raven said, contemplative. “Looking back, I think he was just so… emotional and hearing me say that, like I truly believed it, was the last straw and he just… lost it?”

“What did he say?” Star breathed, full of anticipation.

Raven scrunched her face. “Again, I was drunk and not exactly coherent. I think he said something like… ‘No, you don’t get it! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!’... and, uh… ‘I’ve wanted you for years! You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, so please open the door so I can try to fix what I fucking fucked up!’”

“Please tell me you opened that fucking door, Raven,” Jinx said with more gravity than Raven knew she was capable of.

“I unlocked it,” Raven said. “I was really confused… with him saying that and what he said on the roof and what had happened throughout the party, I had no idea what was going on.”

“He probably ripped the door right off its hinges,” Sarah grinned.

“Basically,” Raven fought down a smile. “He was like a green blur. One second I was alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the next I couldn’t breathe because he was holding me so tightly. And I was still so heartbroken that I started sobbing again and he was instantly wiping my tears away, begging me not to cry.”

“He really does love you, Rae,” Donna said.

Raven finally let herself smile again. “I know that now. Gar explained that his response was just a knee-jerk reaction and that of course he wanted me… he had pushed me away because he realized I was still very, very drunk and he felt like he was taking advantage of me since he was sober.”

“Oh my God,” Sarah breathed. “I didn’t even think about that.”

“Neither had I, until he told me,” Raven admitted.

“We need more men like him,” Donna said.

“He always was a pure boy,” Jinx grinned.

“He is perfect for you, Friend Raven,” Starfire beamed.

“And then you got together, right?” Sarah asked.

“No, I was still drunk so I knew he wouldn’t want to have that conversation,” Raven said. “He did make sure to kiss me enough to make me feel better though… and agreed to sleepover.”

“Ohhh, sleepover, huh?” Jinx winked at her, making her blush.

“Yes, we showered,” she held up a hand, “separately and then we went to bed, he was the big spoon, and it was the best sleep of my life and that’s it.”

“Nope,” Jinx pointed at her, “fast forward to when you two woke up and continue.”

Raven made a face. “Do I have to?”

“If you want to leave my room,” Starfire said happily.

Raven sighed. “Well, we woke up and I suggested that since we were both sober and alone that we should talk about how we felt and if there was an us. He proceeded to tell me that he had been in love with me for four years and that he didn’t think he was capable of ever getting over me. So, I told him that I didn’t want him to get over me because I loved him, too, and that I wanted the chance to make him as happy as he makes me and he kissed me before I could finish my whole speech.”

“Then what, then what?” Starfire asked eagerly, bouncing up and down slightly.

Raven blushed again. “I actually remember this word-for-word. He looked me in the eyes and said ‘you’re mine, okay? And I’m yours. We’re together -- exclusive. A couple.’ And I just nodded because obviously I wasn’t going to argue.”

“I’m gonna have to have all my teeth pulled, the sweetness is rotting them out,” Jinx grimaced.

“Then we both agreed we were still exhausted and went back to sleep until it was time for brunch,” Raven said.

Jinx laughed. “Nah, you totally fucked.”

For once, Donna didn’t reprimand her. Raven hid her face in the pillow, not saying anything.

“C’mon, Rae, we’re all friends here,” Sarah playfully elbowed her. “You gotta at least tell us if he was any good.”

The other women snickered. Raven wished the bed would open up and swallow her whole.

“If you don’t say anything, I’m just gonna assume he didn’t make you cum and you can’t do BB like that,” Jinx said.

Raven slowly lifted her head and wiped a hand down her face. “Four times,” she whispered.

“What?” Sarah asked, looking confused.

Raven sighed. “Gar made me cum four times,” she said a little louder.

Their jaws dropped.

“Someone get this woman a Gatorade,” Jinx said, eyebrows raised.

“Four?” Donna asked, incredulous. “How?”

Raven squirmed, then stared at the duvet again. “His hand, his mouth, sex in bed, and sex in the shower.”

“How are you walking?” Sarah said, looking her up and down.

Raven smirked. “After the shower, I told him he had to chill out or I wouldn’t be able to.”

“I knew Friend Beast Boy possessed seemingly endless energy but I did not realize it was to this extent,” Starfire said, hand on her chin.

“His endless energy is only outmatched by his eagerness to please,” Raven murmured, her blush deepening.

“Lucky,” Jinx said, making the others laugh.

“Am I free to go now or am I being detained?” Raven asked.

“No, my need for the girl talk has been satisfied,” Starfire said, smiling at her.

“Titans East is probably leaving soon anyway,” Donna said, then looked at Jinx. “Maybe we could hitch a ride with them.”

“And be stuck with Bette for four hours?” Jinx made a face as she and the others stood. “No thanks.”

The door to the common area hissed open and Raven immediately scanned the room for Gar. She spotted a green head pop up from the couch, emerald eyes locking onto her.

She began walking over to him as a green arm appeared over the back of the couch, a hand making a grabbing motion at her. Raven smiled and grabbed it, looking down at Gar. He was sprawled on one end of the U-shaped couch, the rest of the men spread out on the rest of it.

Gar tugged on her hand. “‘Mere.”

She raised an eyebrow. “‘Mere’?”

He tugged again, more insistent. “I missed you.”

Raven blushed as butterflies erupted in her stomach. She looked at the TV. “Why are you watching curling?”

“Because your boyfriend is a weirdo,” Jason said.

Boyfriend. Her heart swelled.

“Well excuse me for being a man of culture,” Gar shot back. Jason rolled his eyes.

Raven started walking around the couch and Gar scooted up to a semi-sitting position, holding his arms out to her. She raised her eyebrows at him, then glanced at the others present.

“You really think I’m gonna allow you to sit on the actual couch when I’m right here?” Gar said, making grabbing motions with his hands again.

“He’s like a raccoon, Rae -- you can’t escape those grabby hands,” Vic said.

Raven sighed in mock annoyance and stepped forward, allowing herself to be pulled down into Gar’s lap. It felt like the butterflies in her stomach had started a rave when he nestled her back into him, arms wrapped securely around her waist, and chin resting on her shoulder. His warmth relaxed her and she melted into him, her hands going over top of his, thumbs rubbing affectionately across his knuckles. She turned her head and quickly kissed his cheek before going back to watching curling. He smiled, tightening his arms around her.

The door hissed open and the rest of the women entered the common area.

Jinx spotted Raven and Gar on the couch and grinned. “Hey, stud!” she yelled to the changeling.

Raven’s face turned beet red as Gar turned to look at Jinx, eyebrows furrowed. Seeing her grin, he looked at Raven, eyebrows now raised. “Stud, huh? What exactly did you talk about during that little ‘debrief’?”

The other men were now looking at Raven too, clearly interested in an explanation for Jinx’s comment. She covered her face with her hands and turned her head, pressing it into the couch. Gar chuckled, his affection for her only growing.

Chapter Text

Raven was floating in front of her bedroom window meditating, the late afternoon sun illuminating the Jump City skyline in front of her. Titans East, Donna, Jinx, and Jason had left about an hour earlier and she had finally found a moment to slip away mostly unnoticed.

She heard her door hiss open and felt Gar’s aura enter. She opened an eye, peeking sideways, to see him lying on her bed with a laptop, earbuds in one hand. He grinned at her.

“Is it okay if I watch a movie in here?” Gar held up the earbuds. “I’ll be quiet.”

Raven hummed, both eyes opened now. “When I agreed to a relationship with you, I didn’t realize you would be so clingy.”

He raised an eyebrow and started to sit up. “I can go--”

“I never said I didn’t like it.” She smiled and faced the window again, eyes closed. He relaxed back into her pillows, opening the laptop.

“What movie are you going to watch?”

“Knives Out.”

Raven smirked. “Again?”

“It makes no damn sense,” Gar said in a flawless southern accent. “It compels me, though.”

She shook her head, amused. Eager to prove he could behave, Gar put in his earbuds and began the movie, just happy to be in her presence. They sat like that for four hours, with Gar moving on to Glass Onion when Knives Out was finished. The tranquil silence was only broken once, when he got up to use the bathroom and then decided to go get a drink from the kitchen. Upon his return, he had cautiously tapped Raven and gestured toward the steaming mug of tea he had made perched on the window sill in front of her. She had smiled, pecked him on the cheek, taken a deep drink of the tea, and gone back to her meditation.

Raven’s feet touched the ground as the credits to Glass Onion began to roll. She stretched and crawled onto the bed, snuggling into Gar’s side.

He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “How’re you feeling?”

“A lot better,” she murmured, reaching her own arm across his torso.

“Good,” he said. “They got Chinese for dinner. Ours is in the fridge.”

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Raven said, looking up at him.

Gar brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her chakra stone. “I know.”

“Are you hungry?” she reached up and touched his face.

He shrugged and smiled. “I could eat. You?”

“Yeah,” Raven sighed, snuggling closer to him. “But you’re so warm.”

He laughed. “Okay, how about this -- you change into your jammies, we warm up dinner, head to my room because I actually have a TV and couch, put on another movie, eat, and then we can snuggle in bed so you can continue stealing my body heat.”

Raven hummed. “I suppose that sounds acceptable.”

She stood and unknotted Gar’s Lakers t-shirt before taking it off, then realized he hadn’t moved. Looking over, she saw him staring at her.

He raised his eyebrows. “What? I’m not gonna miss the show!”

Raven tried to scowl and threw the shirt at him, making him laugh.

Raven sat cross-legged on Gar’s couch, slurping up lo mein noodles as she watched him start My Cousin Vinny. He picked up his lo han jai and sat back, propping his feet up on the small coffee table.

Gar grinned at her. “Marisa Tomei was my childhood crush.”

Raven nodded, swallowing her bite. “Understandable.”

“Who was yours?” he asked around a mouthful of food.

She side-eyed him. “I didn’t have one… I was raised in a different dimension.”

He bobbed his head side-to-side. “Right, right… well, who was your first crush--,” he quickly realized his mistake and scrambled to recover, “like, there had to be some celebrity you thought was hot.”

Raven chewed her food, contemplating. “You know, some people consider you a celebrity.”

Gar waved a hand. “I don’t count. That’s no fun.”

She nodded, smirking, and took another bite of food. No one really came to mind; she wasn’t exactly well-versed in pop culture.

“I don’t mind looking at Jason Momoa,” Raven said noncommittally.

“Yeah?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You like the long hair and beard thing?”

“Don’t get any ideas,” she deadpanned.

He chuckled, then rubbed his jaw. “I couldn’t grow a beard like that even if I wanted to.”

“I stopped watching Game of Thrones when he was killed off,” Raven said, then slurped more noodles.

Gar stared at her. “That was like the first season!”

“I stand by my decision.”

He snorted and went back to his food. They continued to eat in comfortable silence. When they were done, Gar paused the movie and gathered the dishes.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” he said. “Do you want more tea?”

“I can come make it,” Raven said, standing.

“No, your job is to go warm up the bed,” he grinned and walked past her. “What kind of tea?”

“Chamomile, please.”

“Coming right up!”

The door hissed and he was gone. Raven pulled back the covers on his bed and crawled in, wriggling down into them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, basking in his scent. Her heart felt like it might burst.

Gar returned a few minutes later, water in one hand and Raven’s steaming mug in the other. She sat up against his headboard and took it from him. He set his water on the nightstand and went to grab the remote before crawling under the blankets next to her. He nestled against her, head almost in her lap, and pressed play. She ran her fingers through his hair and slowly began massaging his scalp, sipping her tea. He hummed, wriggling closer to her and turning on his side.

Raven smiled, content, watching Marisa Tomei yell at Joe Pesci about her ticking biological clock. Gar pulled out his phone and began scrolling.

“Can I post these pics?” he asked.

“Hmmm?” her eyes flicked down at him and then back to the TV.

“The ones Star took-- can I post ‘em?”

“Post them…?”

“You know, to, like, Instagram.”

Raven’s hand stopped moving against his scalp. “Gar, you have more than half a million followers on there.”

“...and?”

“And everyone will see them?”

Gar abruptly sat up and looked at her, eyebrows furrowed. “Is that a problem or something? You don’t want anyone to see you smiling at me, us hugging, or me kissing you? Like, you’re embarrassed?”

“What?” Raven asked, eyes wide with surprise. She set her mug on the nightstand and cupped his face, looking him in the eyes. “Gar, no! Of course not! I could never be embarrassed about our relationship.”

She started caressing his cheekbones with her thumbs, the vulnerability in his eyes pulling on her heart. She got up and moved into his lap, arm draped around his neck, hand still cupping his face.

“I love you so much,” Raven said. “Please don’t think that I’d ever be embarrassed of what we have.”

She gently pulled his head forward and kissed him, thumb again caressing his cheek. He rested his forehead against hers.

“Then… what?” Gar asked quietly, searching her eyes.

“It’s just… you know how private I am, Gar,” Raven said. “But you probably don’t fully know why.”

He waited, watching her.

“People… they love you and for good reason,” she smiled at him but it quickly faded. “But me?”

Raven grimaced and looked away. “Do you know why Vic made us those holo-rings?”

“So we could go out without being recognized,” Gar said. “Just, you know, be ‘normal.’”

“That’s the reason he told the rest of you,” Raven said, staring at her lap.

“What do you mean?”

“He initially just made the one for me but I pointed out how it would be really uncomfortable for me to have to explain to the rest of you about why I needed one, so he made the others and came up with that excuse,” Raven said.

“Raven, what aren’t you saying? Why did you, specifically, need a holo-ring?”

She hesitated before finally looking at him. “A surprising number of Jump City residents completely disregard my human half and consider me a full-fledged demon. They treat me accordingly. My being a Titan means nothing to them.”

“Rae--”

“I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had holy water dumped on me or crucifixes shoved in my face, people screaming scripture at me, spitting between their fingers at me, trying to manhandle me into a church, just outright telling me I’m an evil piece of shit… and I can’t defend myself or I’d just be proving them right,” Raven stopped and clenched her jaw, eyes burning. 

“They hate me,” she whispered, voice wavering.

Gar hugged her tightly against him. “They’re wrong,” he said fiercely. “They don’t know the first thing about you. You saved us all, Rae, and they should be groveling at your feet.”

“No,” Raven shook her head. “I just want to be treated like you and the others.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, rubbing her back. “I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want you to,” Raven murmured, then glanced at the TV. “We missed the best part.”

“What?”

“Marisa Tomei on the stand. We missed it.”

Gar chuckled. “We can rewind.”

Raven closed her eyes and took a deep breath, listening to his heart. Gar broke the silence.

“It’s just… I’m so unbelievably happy that you’re actually my girlfriend and I’m not dreaming this time that I-- I just want to grab literally everyone and tell them,” he said. “I just want everyone to know that we’re together because it’s such a huge deal to me.”

She smiled. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You’re right-- you deserve better but I’ll do my best,” Gar said.

Raven shook her head again. “You are the best, Gar. For me.”

They watched the movie for a few minutes.

Raven pulled back and looked at him. “What exactly were you going to post?”

Gar shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought too much about it yet but, uh… the pictures, obviously, and, uh… like maybe the first picture is just a note about an announcement or something and then you slide to the pictures? I dunno, I’m not a PR guy.”

“Oh, you were going to announce us being together?”

He gave her a weird look. “Did you think I was just going to post the pictures with no context?”

“I don’t know how your mind works,” Raven said, nestling back into him. “That… might be okay.”

“Really?” Gar ducked his head to look at her, eyebrows raised.

She nodded. “I want to see it before you post it, though.”

“Oh, sweet!” he pulled out his phone, full of enthusiasm. “This is great, we’ll be able to get ahead of the rumors and the tabloids.”

Raven hummed, turning her attention to the movie, only to find the end credits rolling. She pouted her lips. “It’s over.”

Gar hummed, looking at her and then the TV. “Sorry, Rae Rae, want me to put on something else?”

“I’ll look, you work on your post,” Raven said, grabbing the remote. She scrolled, eventually selecting The Mummy.

“Good choice,” Gar nodded.

“Brendan Fraser,” Raven murmured.

“Ranked higher or lower on your hotness list than Jason Momoa?”

“Much like Keanu Reeves, Mr. Fraser is in a league of his own,” Raven said.

“Solid answer.”

Gar messed with his phone for a few more minutes before handing it to Raven for approval. The first picture was a note app screenshot that simply read ‘big announcement’. She swiped to the second picture, which was of them hugging on the balcony, her facing away from the camera, his chin resting on her head, an easy smile on his face. Gar had tagged her in this picture. Swiping again, Raven’s face was now visible as she cupped Gar’s face and smiled at him. Swiping a third time, her heart fluttered. Gar’s arm was hooked around her neck, having pulled her into a deep kiss. She was pressed against him, hands firmly planted on his chest, cheeks tinged a light pink. While Raven had been trying to push him away, it was still clear that the kiss was being reciprocated.

Raven felt herself blush as she swiped a final time, revealing another note app screenshot. This one read ‘Raven and I are announcing that we are officially together. We are very happy and hope that you all can be happy for us. If you feel the need to make any negative comments, direct them toward me. Raven is a very private person and I ask you all to respect that. - BB’. She glanced down at the caption and smirked. It had a single red heart emoji and, two spaces down, a camera emoji with the words ‘credits @Starfire_TT (who is totally not a creep)’ next to it.

Raven handed the phone back to Gar. “I approve.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, eyebrows knit.

She nodded, nerves building, and watched as he hit post. Her phone vibrated. Pulling it out, she saw the familiar camera symbol that meant she had an Instagram notification. She opened it, immediately double-tapping the picture and commenting a single red heart emoji of her own. She closed the app, heart pounding.

“Let me know, ah, how people… react,” Raven whispered.

Gar shrugged. “If they’re pissed and start spewing bullshit I’ll just delete my account.”

“I don’t want you to have to do that because of me,” she shrunk back, feeling guilty.

“Because of you?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “Rae, it’d be because of them. Besides, it’s just Instagram.”

Gar’s phone started lighting up and vibrating with notifications almost immediately. He grinned, reaching for it. “Should probably put it on silent.”

He saw the anxious expression on Raven’s face and furrowed his eyebrows. “It’ll be alright, Rae. The only people whose opinions really matter are in this building and they all seemed pretty ecstatic.”

Raven nodded, still unconvinced, and started fiddling with the hem of her shirt. What if someone said something, pointed something out, that made him look at her differently?

Gar reached over and grabbed her mug from the nightstand, handing it to her with a smile.

“Here, drink your relaxing, sleepy tea.”

She took a sip and rested her head on Gar’s shoulder, focusing on Rachel Weisz. “I bet she was your other childhood crush.”

“Definitely top five.”

Raven smiled, noting that neither Weisz or Tomei were blondes. After a few minutes, her phone made the chiming sound that meant there was a message in the Titans West group chat. She opened it and held her phone out so that Gar could also read it.

Vic: Sarah was doom scrolling Twitter and you guys will never guess what’s trending lol

Gar quickly grabbed his phone to reply as himself.

Gar: I think I have a pretty good idea…

Vic: Nah, B, it’s not what you think

Gar and Raven glanced at each other.

Dick: ?

Vic: BBRae

Gar snorted and Raven saw him smirk.

Gar: Tf is that

Raven: Oh no…

Vic: Apparently it’s your couple name

Dick: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Gar started chuckling.

Gar: Dude wtf

Raven: BBRae? Why is he first?

Gar looked at her and laughed at her annoyed expression.

Star: I asked myself the same thing with RobStar, Friend Raven

Dick: They still use RobStar?

Star: Yes, I suppose I am now in a relationship with Jason

Gar: Lmao I’m gonna tell him that

Dick: You’ll be on night patrol for a month

Gar: That’s a textbook case of creating a hostile work environment

Dick: Stop teaching him things, Rae

Raven: Why not RaeBB?

Vic: Kinda sounds like rabies

Raven: I’ll think of something

Dick: We gotta start floating NightStar

Star: StarNight

Gar: Why didn’t Vic and Sarah get a couple name

Vic: Don’t you dare

Gar: Oh I dare

Raven: Cyrah?

Vic: Rae, no

Gar: Rae, yes

Raven: Sarborg.

Star: I prefer Cyrah

Dick: Yeah, Sarborg sounds like a disease

Raven: Cyrah it is.

Vic: How did this become about me? BB’s insta post is going viral

Dick: Yeah, thanks for running that by the rest of us btw

Gar: Sorry, didn’t realize we were in a poly relationship

Dick: You know that’s not what I meant

Gar: Oh, you mean like how you told the rest of us that you and Star were going to announce your relationship? I must have been left out of that group chat

Star: It’s really none of our business, Dick

Vic: ^^^

Dick: I just like to be given a heads-up on these things

Raven: You knew about our relationship hours before the post was made. I think that’s plenty of heads-up. You should have known it would get out eventually. We just wanted it to come directly from us.

Gar: What she said

Dick: Fine… I don’t see what’s so bad about BBRae tho

Dick: Could be something like Baven

Gar: Lmao

Gar: Baven

Raven: Why did you put that in his head?

Vic: Hahahahahahahahahaha BAVEN

Dick: Reast Roy

Raven: Stop.

Gar: Now you sound like Scooby-Doo lol

Star: Who is Scooby-Doo?

Gar: Well I know what we’re doing this weekend

Gar closed the group chat and opened Instagram, letting out a low whistle. Raven’s anxiety spiked. She silenced her phone and put it on the nightstand, then ran shaky hands through her hair.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” She asked, chewing on a hangnail. “You’re getting backlash? People saying I put a spell on you or something?”

Gar pulled her in closer and kissed her. “Rae, stop. It’s nothing like that. You wanna see?”

She quickly shook her head, heart in her throat.

“Okay, well, it’s barely been fifteen minutes and it’s closing in on 100,000 hearts. The number was rapidly climbing while I watched. The comments were pouring in, too, but I haven’t looked at those yet. I’ll wait for it to calm down a bit. I did see a lot of, like, good emojis though, if that makes sense.”

Raven nodded, taking a deep breath. Gar shifted her a bit and began rubbing those soothing circles between her shoulder blades that she had come to love. She closed her eyes.

“By the way, I got us the day off tomorrow. After morning training.”
Raven hummed. “For what?”

“Shopping.”

“Gar.”

“I’m going with or without you. If you come, you actually get to pick what you get. Otherwise, it’ll be chaos. You know what happens when I’m let loose in a department store unsupervised.”

“I know what happens when you’re left unsupervised in general,” Raven murmured.

He chuckled. “So you’ll come?”

Raven sighed. “Fine. But we’re going to flea markets, thrift stores, and clearance sales.”

“But I already called ahead and closed Louis Vuitton, Dior, and Versace for private shopping experiences.”

Raven sat up and stared at him, eyes wide. “Garfield Mark Logan.”

He laughed gleefully and tugged her back into him. 

“I’m just kidding, Rae, we’ll do what you want,” Gar giggled. “Dude, I can’t remember the last time I got full-named.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she murmured, smiling at his merriment. He happily kissed the top of her head as she shut her eyes, clutching her mug and slowly drifting off to sleep.

Chapter Text

It was 11 the next morning and the Titans were finishing their cool-down stretches after three hours of rigorous strength training. Gar mopped his face with the t-shirt he had long-since removed and watched as Raven flopped onto her back on the floor mat, sweat making her black tank top stick to her. He wondered if he’d have to carry her to the elevator. He stood, quadriceps screaming in protest, and walked over to her to offer a hand.

She reached up with both of hers. “Just drag me.”

He laughed. “I am not going to drag you.”

Gar grabbed her hands and put weight on her toes, pulling her up to a standing position.

Raven groaned. “I liked the floor better.”

He grinned and patted her arm, then pulled her along to walk with Vic and Star toward the elevator.

“Hey, B, could you hang back for a minute?” Dick called from the back of the gym.

Gar glanced at Raven, who shrugged, and then wandered back to where their leader was busy scribbling notes in a large book. The elevator doors closed and they were alone. Incapable of staying still for very long without something to occupy him, Gar started rocking back and forth on his feet and staring at the ceiling. The rafters were awfully dusty. When was the last time someone had been up there? Could he get up there? He could probably turn into a squirrel and grab a dust rag or something and drag it around. He could also hide up there one day before training and drop something on Dick. He’d never see it coming. But where to hide? The air vent? Would it hold his weight or would he have to stay in animal form? It was probably really dusty in there, too. Were the other rooms this dusty?

Dick cleared his throat and Gar snapped out of his train of thought. Emerald eyes flicked down and he grinned. “What’s up?”

“It’s about you and Raven,” Dick said.

Gar immediately tensed and Dick held up his hands.

“Jeez, relax,” he said with a smile. “It’s nothing bad. It’s just something that I feel obligated to address.”

Gar crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, still tense.

Dick sighed and scratched a temple. “Right to the point, then. You and Raven are together now -- romantically involved -- but you are still Titans and that comes first. Both of you knew the risks entailed when you took this job and nothing has changed, regardless of relationship status.”

Gar uncrossed his arms and put his hands on his hips. “Uh, yeah… I know.”

Dick pointed at him. “See, you say that but your actions tell a different story.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Gar said, even though he did. He just wanted Dick to say it, to address the elephant in the room.

Dick stared at him for a moment, deep blue eyes unreadable. Gar stared back.

Dick sighed again and held up a hand. “Look, I can kinda see where you’re coming from. She’s the smallest one of us and physically the weakest -- which we’re working on -- so she looks delicate. So, on some level, I can understand your instinctual need to protect her, to shield her in battle. But you can’t do that anymore, B. It happened way too many times before you were together-- I can imagine that it will only increase now that you’re a couple if I don’t nip it in the bud. We all know you’re just trying to protect her when you do these things. However, it puts not only yourself at risk, but the rest of the team. We can’t have that. Honestly, I should have said something sooner with the number of times you’ve landed yourself in the infirmary taking hits she could have easily blocked. You have to remember that she’s not delicate, or fragile -- the opposite actually. She could wipe us out with a wave of her hand if she wanted. Raven is the Titans’ powerhouse. And not just Titans West -- the entire organization. You have to trust that she can handle herself, B. If she couldn’t, she never would have been a member of the team. You know that. So, please, for everyone’s sake, but especially for your own, let her do her thing. Okay?”

Gar let out a deep sigh and nodded, relieved that the Beast hadn’t been mentioned after all. He grinned at Dick. “Yeah, I had a feeling this talk was coming sooner or later.”

“I’m actually surprised Raven hasn’t told you to knock it off herself,” Dick said, grinning back.

“Oh, I’m sure she will if I slip up,” Gar chuckled.

Dick was suddenly serious again. “You can’t slip up. It has to stop.”

Gar shrugged. “Old habits die hard. I’ll do my best but if someone like Adonis gets out, all bets are off.”

Dick grimaced. “Yeah, okay.”

Gar pulled out his phone as the pair started making their way over to the elevators. He cleared all of the Instagram notifications and smiled when he saw a text from Raven.

Rae Rae: I’ll be waiting in your shower.

His eyebrows shot up and he quickly pressed the button that would take them to the common area.

Raven stood in Gar’s shower, the cold water beating down on her, but it wasn’t helping. What was taking him so long? She turned so the water ran down her back. Why did he have to take his shirt off during training? There weren’t any rules saying the men couldn’t do that but for Raven, it had been torture. All she could think about was how he had looked doing deadlifts, squats, curls, bench presses, and the other myriad exercises Dick had put them through, muscles tensing, sweat glistening on his green skin, strong hands effortlessly handling the weights…

Raven turned again, cold water running down her face. The space between her legs ached. She heard the door open and felt Gar’s aura enter. He stepped into the shower behind her and she felt herself beginning to throb for him, hands shaking slightly with anticipation. Gar put his hands on her hips and slid them upwards, cupping her breasts as he pulled her back into him. She trembled at the contact, electricity zipping through her veins. He kissed along her shoulder and up her neck before lightly nibbling her ear.

“I heard you’d be waiting for me,” he breathed before ducking his head and licking up her neck.

Raven gasped, her need for him becoming unbearable, and she reached back, grabbing his hips. She arched her back and pressed her ass against him as she pulled him forward, grinding hard. He hissed and rolled her nipples, tugging on them, making her cry out.

Raven spread her legs and ground back on him again, breathing heavy.

“Tell me what you want, Rae,” Gar murmured, one hand now gripping her hip. He slipped the other between her legs, splitting her open, and slowly rubbing circles around her clitoris.

“Fuck, Gar, I want you,” she said.

Gar hummed, grinning. Still holding her hip, he grabbed his cock and rubbed it along her labia, making her tremble.

“How?” he asked.

She turned, pressing herself against him and reaching a hand down to stroke him, making him groan. 

“I don’t care,” she said. “Just make me yours.”

Raven heard a low growl rumble from him, further adding to her torment. Strong hands suddenly gripped her waist, lifting her effortlessly. She wrapped her legs around his hips and arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. He pressed her into the corner of the shower and opened her mouth with his, kissing her roughly. She groaned slightly as she bucked her hips forward against his erection, desperate for release.

“Gar,” she breathed. “Please.”

He grinned and reached down, guiding himself into her. She gasped with pleasure and her hands clenched in his hair when he immediately began rapidly thrusting in and out. The tile walls of the shower made the lewd slapping sounds echo.

It didn’t take long for him to have her in the state that he loved, where she was beyond forming words, the only sounds coming from her cries and gasps of ecstasy. After a minute of this, she threw her head back and let out a high-pitched wail as her body shook against Gar’s. Her walls tightened around his cock, but he didn’t let up. He continued pounding into her as her orgasm radiated throughout her body, making her cry out again and again. It soon became too much for Gar and he buried his face in the crook of her neck as he came inside her, his thrusts becoming weaker as he was emptied out.

After a moment, he slowly lowered her until her feet found the shower floor. When Raven’s knees buckled and she staggered, Gar immediately pulled her to him. He ducked his head and kissed her deeply. She clung to him, kissing him back hungrily.

He pulled back, eyebrows raised. “What has gotten into you?”

“Stop taking your shirt off during training.”

He grinned. “Oh, I am never wearing a shirt again.”

Raven sat at the kitchen island nursing a cup of tea and staring at the Instagram app on her phone, debating on opening it. She glanced at the door to the hallway. Gar had disappeared through it a few minutes earlier to change once she had told him she was ready to leave.

She turned slightly to look outside. It was a beautiful day without a cloud in the sky. Raven wore her holo-ring and a plain mauve scoop-necked t-shirt tucked into high-waisted, black denim shorts with distressed hems, and her go-to black slip-on Vans. Half of her now jet black hair was pulled back and secured in a black claw clip, showing off the assortment of silver studs that lined her ears. Around her neck was the hamsa necklace she had decided would be daily wear now, and a small, black crossbody bag rested against her hip.

Raven opened her phone’s front facing camera to check her makeup again. She had only used moisturizer and sunscreen on her face while lightly lining her piercing blue eyes, focusing more on mascara, which made her eyes look larger.

The door to the hallway hissed open and Raven glanced over, only to do a double take.

“What?” Gar asked, looking down at himself.

He was wearing a heather gray v-neck t-shirt and black chino shorts with white and gray Air Jordan 1 Retro High Tops -- but that’s not what had caught her off guard.

Raven couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him wear his holo-ring. He had been green since he was five so everyone knew Beast Boy and Garfield Logan were one and the same -- which meant he never really saw the point. He only ever wore it for the others’ benefit.

Standing before her now, he was white again with light golden blond hair and hazel brown eyes. His ears were round and when he smiled at her, no fangs poked out.

Raven scrunched her face as he walked over to her.

“What?” he asked again, eyebrows knit.

Raven shook her head slightly, face still scrunched, looking him up and down. “I don’t like it.”

Gar stared at her for a second, looked down at himself again, then back up at her. “My outfit?”

“No,” she gestured vaguely at him, “you… don’t look like… you…”

He grinned, but without the fangs it felt wrong to her. “That’s kinda the point, Rae.”

“I know,” she said, frowning. She reached up and touched his ears. “It’s just… a big change. You don’t look like… my Gar.”

He smiled at that. Her Gar.

“Because I’m not your Gar,” he said, waggling his boring, blond eyebrows. “I’m Rachel Roth’s Mark Farr.”

Gar watched as Raven reached for his hand and gently pulled off his holo-ring, and felt himself fall even more in love with her when her face lit up upon seeing him go back to his usual, green self. He never thought anyone would prefer him that way.

Raven cupped his face and smiled at him. “Perfect.”

His heart swelled and he longed to lean forward and kiss her but he just couldn’t stop himself from making the obvious joke.

Gar straightened and took a step back, giving her a weird look. “Look, you’re super smokin’ hot and all but you are not my lady. How did you even get in here?”

Raven rolled her eyes and took off her own holo-ring. Gar clapped both hands to his cheeks in mock astonishment, eyes wide. “Raven!? Where did you come from?”

She smirked and hopped off her stool, walking toward him. “You’re an idiot.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Gar wagged a finger at her expectantly, eyebrows raised.

Raven stared at him for a few seconds and then sighed. “You’re my idiot.”

“That’s right!” Gar grinned and pulled her into a tight hug, peppering her face with kisses.

“Gar!” she giggled, trying to squirm her way free. He smiled and cupped her face, kissing her deeply. She stepped closer to him, hands gripping his t-shirt, melting into the kiss. He eventually pulled away and kissed the tip of her nose, then her chakra stone, before resting his forehead against hers, thumbs caressing her cheeks.

Raven smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you,” she murmured, looking into his now-green eyes. Her heart fluttered when he broke out into a toothy grin.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” Gar said as he brought his mouth down to hers again. He kissed her until he had to come up for air, his head swimming. “I love you, too.”

Raven hummed, resting her head on his chest.

“So, are we going without the holo-rings?” Gar asked.

She looked up at him, worry in her eyes. “I-- I don’t want anything to happen…”

“Has anything happened when you were with another Titan or just when you were alone?”

Raven thought for a moment. “Just… when I’ve been alone,” she said slowly.

Gar clenched his jaw. “Of course. Fucking cowards. Let them try something when I’m with you.”

“They’re civilians, Gar,” Raven said, grabbing his hands. “You can’t fight back.”

“Fighting back isn’t the only way to protect you,” he said. “I make a great meat shield.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be,” he grinned and winked. “Now let’s get going.”

Chapter Text

Raven slid into the passenger seat of Gar’s car and had just closed the door when he turned the key in the ignition. Music immediately blared from his speakers, making her jump and clap her hands over her ears. Gar quickly reached over and twisted the volume knob to the left.

Raven stared at him, aghast. “Why do you listen to your music so loud? Are you trying to go deaf?”

He shrugged awkwardly, not looking at her, a sheepish grin on his face. “I, uh, just like to… feel the music, you know?”

He fastened his seat belt and reached for the gear shift but Raven stopped his hand.

“Why did you just lie to me?”

He froze, staring at her hand on his.

She crossed her arms, watching him. “It doesn’t bode well for this relationship that you would lie about something so seemingly trivial.”

Gar shifted uncomfortably in his seat but said nothing.

“Fine,” Raven said and opened her door, making to get out.

“Wait, Rae, I’m sorry” he said quickly, grabbing her wrist. “Don’t go.”

She glanced at him, half out of the car. “Are you going to tell me the truth?”

He grimaced but then nodded. She slid back into her seat, closing the door behind her. Gar shut off the car and ran his hands down his face, then put his head against the headrest, staring at the ceiling. He pursed his lips, thinking.

“You, uhhh--- do you remember yesterday morning, you asked me why I’m so mean to myself?” he asked.

Raven furrowed her eyebrows. “Yes.”

“Ahhh, well, uh,” he said, shifting uncomfortably again, “that’s, uh… just the filtered stuff that I, uh, say out loud. Same with all of the, uh, self-deprecating jokes I make.”

Gar made a face and nervously scratched behind an ear.

“The, uh, stuff that I say to myself, like, in my head is, uh… well, a lot… nastier. More vicious. And I, uh, can’t really… stop it from happening so a lot of the time, these thoughts are just, uh… intrusive? I think that’s the word… Um, but you asked about the music…”

He was fiddling with his keys, eyes now glued to the logo at the center of the steering wheel, leg bouncing with nervous energy. When Raven focused on his emotions she was hit by a wave of anxiety, deep sadness, and something far darker and much more insidious.

She scooted closer to him and grabbed his hands with one of her own, using the other to gently cup his face.

“Gar,” she said, tilting his face to look at her. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything else… but I’m here if you have more to tell.”

He stared at her lap for a moment and took a deep breath. “It’s just that… when I’m alone, those thoughts are a lot more frequent and a lot louder and a lot harder to ignore. Sometimes, they uh…”

Gar stopped, clenching his jaw.

“They what?” Raven asked quietly, eyebrows knitted.

He cleared his throat. “Well, sometimes I, uh, can’t help but to, uh, think about, you know… dying.”

Raven’s eyes widened, heart clenching. “Garfield,” she breathed.

“No, no, not like… not like… suicide… but like… death in general, like, what would it be like?” Gar said, gesturing. “Like if I just didn’t look both ways crossing the street or if I was driving along and got t-boned by a semi or one of our fights went very, very wrong? Would it hurt? What would come after? I mean, I wouldn’t have to deal with anything anymore, sure…”

“You’re scaring me,” Raven said.

He finally looked at her and saw the fear in her eyes. He cupped her face, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Rae, I don’t want to die,” he said. “I’ve just… I’ve lost so many people that I-- it’s just something I think about…”

Raven reached forward and wrapped her arms around him. Gar had experienced too much trauma, too much heartbreak for someone who wasn’t even old enough to legally drink yet. His parents, Rita Farr, Larry Trainor, Cliff Steele, Niles Caulder, Terra…

He leaned into her, resting his head on her shoulder. She combed her fingers through his hair, her other hand rubbing his back like he always did for her.

“The loud music,” Gar murmured against her neck, “it drowns it all out… gives me a distraction.”

Raven nodded, finally understanding.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore if you don’t want to be,” she said quietly. “I’m here.”

He lifted his head and smiled at her, then kissed her lightly. “I’ll have to remember that.”

He then turned and started the car again.

Gar found a parking spot about half a block from Jump City’s largest outdoor flea market. He jumped out and hurried around the car to open Raven’s door before making an exaggerated bow and offering her a hand.

“M’lady,” he said, eyebrows waggling.

Raven fought down a smile and took his hand. “Am I going to have to buy you a fedora?”

He grinned and laced his fingers through hers, then locked the car. “Are they cool again?”

“No,” Raven said as they began walking.

“I bet I could make them cool again.”

“Please don’t.”

“I helped bring back the fanny pack.”

“You didn’t.”

“You’re hurting my confidence.”

“I didn’t think that was possible.”

A small group of people were walking the opposite direction toward them and Gar dropped Raven’s hand, sidestepping slightly closer to her to create more room. His arm wrapped around her waist and he drew her into his side. Her arm was uncomfortably wedged between them so she put it up his back, hand resting on his far shoulder blade. She noticed one of the people in the group had pulled out their phone and started to walk backwards as they passed them.

“So, what did D--uh Nightwing want to talk to you about earlier?” Raven asked.

Gar grinned and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, he, uh, actually told me that I had to stop taking hits for you in battle.”

“It’s about time,” Raven said, then looked up at him. “And will you?”

Gar shrugged, pressing the button at the crosswalk. “Nightwing made it pretty clear I had to. He said I had to remember that you can handle yourself.”

“He’s right.”

Someone across the street yelled ‘yo BB!’ and Gar raised a hand in response, not looking away from Raven. “I know that rationally, but when someone five times your size tries to hurt you I become very irrational.”

“I’ve noticed,” Raven deadpanned.

“And yet, you thought I didn’t want you,” Gar grinned.

She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed.

The light changed and they crossed the street, entering the flea market. Gar paused and looked around as Raven pulled her sunglasses out of her crossbody bag.

“So, what are we looking for?” he asked.

“Stuff,” Raven said, pushing the shades up her nose.

Gar nodded, looking around again. “That narrows it down.”

Raven gave him a small smile. “Honestly, I just walk around and see if anything catches my eye. There are usually stalls with cheap antique books, homemade candles, plants in handcrafted pots… like a farmer’s market and flea market in one.”

“So, just look for Raven-y things?”

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Basically.”

Gar hooked an arm around her neck, dragging her into him. He held a fist aloft. “Onward!”

Raven huffed a laugh and wrapped an arm around his waist, allowing him to start pulling her through the crowd.

They walked along for a few minutes until Gar spotted a stall lined with tables filled with various sizes of candles. Raven nodded her approval and they made their way over. She walked under the tent, thankful for the bit of shade, and began reading the handwritten labels. She picked one up to smell it as Gar lifted another, glancing at the ingredients.

“They use beeswax,” he murmured.

Raven looked at him. “Is that… bad?”

Gar shrugged, putting the candle down. “It’s not vegan but it’s not like they kill the bees to get the beeswax. It just depends how sustainable their practices are.”

“They also don’t kill the cow to get the milk but you still don’t consume dairy,” Raven said.

“Factory farming is fucked up, Rae,” he said. “One day you will see the light.”

“Excuse me,” a customer-service voice said behind them. They turned and were met with a young Black woman a couple inches taller than Raven smiling at them. She had neat, black dreadlocks wrapped here and there with gold thread that reached her lower back and deep brown eyes so warm that Raven couldn’t look away.

“I’m Naomi,” she said, then pointed at one of the candle’s labels, “you know, of Naomi’s Candles. I’m going to be completely honest and admit I was listening to your conversation.”

Naomi jerked a thumb over her shoulder at a camping chair set up a few feet away, a thick novel left open on the seat and a Dunkin’ drink in the cupholder.

Gar grinned and shrugged. “Well, I’m not exactly known for being quiet.”

“No, but you are known for being vegan so I thought I’d give you this,” she held out a glossy pamphlet, which Gar promptly took. Naomi looked at Raven. “It sounds like he hasn’t managed to convert you yet but just in case the whole beeswax thing bothers you, I want you to know that I source the beeswax I use in my candles from three local beekeepers who formed a co-op a few miles outside Jump. Their hives are all located within a five-acre bee garden populated by only native plants and they use absolutely no herbicides or pesticides. I also donate five percent of my proceeds back to them and another five percent to The Bee Conservancy. I wish it could be more, but I have bills to pay.”

Naomi smiled again and looked between them. “Any questions?”

Gar stared at her for a few seconds, then glanced at Raven. “If you buy your candles from literally anywhere else, I will be extremely upset with you.”

Naomi laughed, looking pleased. “Well, I’ll leave you alone to look around.”

Raven watched as she walked over to her seat and picked up her novel, curious as to what she was reading. She squinted at the cover. Stephen King.

“There’s something about her that… I really like,” Raven whispered.

“Good,” Gar was now smelling different candles, “because we’re about to blow a ton of money in here.”

Raven smiled and held a candle to her nose, inhaling deeply. “She certainly doesn’t skimp on the scent, so that’s a good sign.”

She glanced at the price and her heart dropped. The smallest ones started at $40. Raven poked Gar and tapped the price tag.

“Why are you looking at that?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed. She frowned at him.

Gar leaned down until his nose was almost touching hers. “Don't,” he said, then kissed her nose, turning back to the candles. Raven rolled her eyes.

After plenty of browsing and Gar pestering, Raven told him which scents she preferred. He walked over to Naomi. “I think we’re ready,” he grinned.

She nodded and stood, leaving her novel open on her chair again. “What’ll it be?”

“Five dried lavender and oak, five balsam and cedar, and five sunlit autumn. The extra large, please.”

Raven’s jaw dropped. “You said--”

He pointed at her, eyebrows raised. “I’ll make it ten each.”

Raven huffed and crossed her arms.

Naomi looked between them, stunned. “All extra large? Are you sure?”

Gar nodded enthusiastically. “She’s all out so we gotta stock up.”

Naomi raised her eyebrows. “Oookay.”

She began walking around the tent and gathering the various candles, placing them on the small check-out table. Once they had all been selected, she began wrapping them one-by-one in thick, protective brown paper.

Gar walked over to Raven, grinning. She glared at him. “Fifteen extra-large candles? Seriously? It’ll take me years to go through them all-- they’re huge.”

“I thought about buying the whole stock but figured you’d kill me,” he waggled his eyebrows.

She opened her mouth to confirm his suspicion but was cut off by a few excited voices.

“Oh my God, it is him!”

“I told you!”

“What’s he doing here ?”

“He lives here dumbass.”

“He doesn’t live at the fucking flea market, dipshit.”

“You know he can hear you guys, right?”

“Ah, I’m sure he’s heard worse.”

“Are you gonna talk to ‘im or what?”

“Talk to ‘im? About what?”

“You can’t just stand there and gawk at ‘im like he’s a fucking sideshow.”

“To be fair, I gawked at Daniel Radcliffe once but that’s only cause I thought he was Elijah Wood.”

Gar was, indeed, listening in, his ears fixed to best pick up the carrying voices. He looked at Raven, who was watching the group over his shoulder, clearly amused. There were a trio of kids that appeared to be in their early- to mid-teens a few dozen feet away, ducking every once in a while to peek under the tent awning at Gar. The only girl of the group, who had asked if the other two were going to talk to Gar, had facepalmed following the Elijah Wood comment and started walking toward Naomi’s Candles. The boys watched in horror.

“Una!” one of them hissed. “What are you doing?”

She glared at them over her shoulder as she entered the tent and walked up to Gar and Raven with zero hesitation.

“Hi,” she said, hands on her hips. She couldn’t have been more than fourteen.

“Hello,” Gar grinned, eyes flicking to Raven and back.

“I’m Una,” she said with a little wave, then pointed at Gar. “You’re Beast Boy, yeah?”

“Last I checked,” Gar said, crossing his arms.

“Alright, well, I’m sure you already heard but my two dumbass friends are outside and you’re, like, their favorite Titan or superhero or whatever but they’re too chickenshit to actually come in here and introduce themselves,” Una said.

Gar laughed. “I bet they’re regretting that now that you’re in here.”

Una shrugged. “They were getting annoying.”

Gar hummed, glancing over to where Una had left the two boys only to see them quickly stand up and act like they hadn’t been watching him.

He snorted. “You think they’ll come in here?”

“They better.”

Gar laughed again. “So… who’s your favorite Titan or superhero or whatever?”

“Oh, uhhh,” Una suddenly looked shy. “I joined my school’s archery team because of Speedy.”

She scrunched her face. “I don’t think he calls himself Speedy anymore though… I keep forgetting his new name.”

Gar gasped, face lighting up, surprising Una. “Are you talking about Arsenal?”

“I think that’s it, yeah,” she said, suddenly apprehensive. “Ginger, dressed like Robin Hood…”

Gar laughed with delight and Raven smirked. Roy would never be able to shed that persona.

Gar looked at Una. “Can I get a picture with you?”

She hesitated but then nodded, looking slightly confused.

“He wants a picture with you?” a surprised voice came behind them.

They turned to see the boys had finally entered the tent.

“Hell yeah I do!” Gar said, handing his phone to Raven and draping an arm around Una’s shoulders. “I have to rub it in Arsenal’s face that I got to meet his biggest fan.”

Una looked at him eyes wide. “You know Arsenal?”

“He’s one of my best friends,” Gar said, pointing at the camera. Una turned her attention to it and smiled while Gar flashed a goofy grin.

“I would sooner classify it as a bromance,” Raven murmured, taking several photos.

“Aw, don’t be jealous, babe, you know what Arsenal and I have is purely platonic,” Gar said, winking at her and taking his phone back.

Raven glared at him as he quickly sent a photo and message to Roy.

The two boys nervously sidled up near Una, who put her hands on her hips. “It’s about time.”

Gar snickered and looked at Una. “He has taken this as a personal affront and wants me to ask you when and where your next archery competition is.”

Una’s jaw dropped. “Like, so he can come?”

“What is happening?” one of the boys whispered.

Gar shrugged, scratching behind an ear. “He’s done crazier things so I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Una sputtered for a second, flabbergasted. The other boy looked at the first. “Who are they talking about?”

“Arsenal,” Una said, pulling out her phone to check her calendar. “It’s, uh-- well, it’s not for my school, but for the Jump City Archery Club… I’m, uh, going to be competing in the, uh, California Under 18 Competitive Archery Tournament at Stanford’s Cobb Track and Angell Field on the 30th. Starts at 9 a.m. but there’s gonna be, like, a thousand people competing so even if he came he wouldn’t be able to pick me out or anything.”

Gar chuckled, rapidly relaying the information via text. “Oh ye of little faith. If Arsenal wants to find you, he will.”

He finally put his phone away and the two boys surged forward, eager to win Gar’s attention. Raven was now completely blocked out of the small circle that had formed-- not that the teens had acknowledged her to begin with. She glanced around, trying not to feel like a third wheel.

Naomi had long since finished wrapping their candles and placed them in a large bag. She was once again reading in her camping chair, sipping her drink. Raven wandered over.

Naomi glanced up. “Ready to check out?”

Raven shook her head and nodded toward Gar. “He has the card.”

Naomi looked at him. “And the fans. That must get old-- never being able to go anywhere in peace.”

Raven shrugged. “He loves it,” she pointed at Naomi’s book, “The Stand? Is it the unabridged version?”

Naomi smiled, holding up the novel. “How could you tell? The fact that it’s the size of a cinder block?”

“You just strike me as someone with good taste so I assumed you would opt for the better version,” Raven said. “What’s your favorite King book?”

“11/22/63,” Naomi said. “You?”

“Salem’s Lot. I’m just glad you didn’t say It.”

“With that gross sewer scene? No way.”

“Right? I still don’t understand how his editor didn’t cut that out.”

“Hubris.”

The edges of Raven’s mouth twitched, almost a smile. She did like Naomi.

She felt Gar’s aura approach and a hand touch the small of her back.

“Hey, sorry about that,” Gar said, looking apologetic.

“Don’t apologize,” Raven said, glancing up at him. “If Arsenal goes to that competition, you probably just made that girl’s entire year.”

“If he doesn’t go, I’m gonna kick his ass,” Gar said, then looked at Naomi. “Hope we didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“You can stand in here all day if it means attracting more customers,” she said as she stood and walked behind the check-out table. “Cash or card?”

“Card,” Gar said, pulling out his wallet.

Naomi stuck a square chip reader into her phone and began tapping the screen. “Okay, fifteen extra-large candles comes out to,” she paused and sucked her teeth, “$1,200.”

Raven pinched the bridge of her nose but didn’t argue, knowing he’d just throw in more if she did.

“Thanks!” Gar said cheerfully, hoisting the large package.

“No, thank you for paying my rent next month,” Naomi said, then handed him a card. “My shop’s socials are on there. If you like the candles it’d really help me out if you rated and left a review.”

“Oh, I’ll do more than that,” Gar said, putting the card in his pocket.

Naomi looked at him, then Raven.

“He’ll post you on his socials,” Raven said.

Naomi’s eyes got wide. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean-- you don’t have to do that, I just--”

Gar waved a hand. “Gotta support small businesses.”

He then hooked an arm around Raven’s waist and drug her back into the throng of people, scouting for their next find. They didn’t make it very far before Gar was stopped again, this time by an older couple whose grandson he had apparently saved. Raven stood awkwardly by, not spared a second glance. A little while later, after they had picked up a few potted plants, Gar was approached a third time by a mother asking if he would pose for a photo with her three young children. It didn’t go unnoticed by Raven when the woman angled her body protectively between her and her kids, as if shielding them from a potential threat.

Rounding a corner, Raven spotted a small tent with a sign advertising first edition and antique books. She pointed it out to Gar and they started walking over when a group of five older teenage boys approached him. He looked at Raven, worried at the number of times he had been stopped but she waved him off.

“I’ll be over at the books,” she whispered, squeezing his hand and walking away.

She hooked her sunglasses onto her t-shirt as she entered the tent and started looking around. Her eyes fell on a beautiful, dark leather bound book embossed with silver calligraphy. Picking it up, she made to open it and flip through the pages when it was promptly plucked from her hands and placed back on the table, a wrinkled white hand resting on top.

“We won’t be selling to you,” came a gruff voice.

Raven looked up into the face of a wizened old man who smelled vaguely of pipe tobacco. 

“I was just loo-”

“Do it somewhere else,” he snapped angrily. Her chest clenched at the venom in his tone.

“And break up with that poor boy so he can find someone actually capable of love.”

Raven’s head whipped around, trying to locate the source of the new voice. An equally-wizened woman and a middle-aged man were sitting behind a table laden with books, both staring at her with malice. Sunlight caught something around the woman's neck and Raven's eyes flicked down, landing on a golden cross necklace.

“He deserves more than to be stuck with a demon cunt like you,” the woman spat.

The middle-aged man scoffed. "Oh, like he's with her willingly," he mocked. "Probably did some black magic, voodoo shit to him. That's the only way those things can get someone to be near them."

Raven’s breath hitched as icy claws sank into her heart, the cold sensation quickly spreading through her veins.

The man took a threatening step toward her. “Get the fuck out of here you evil bitch!"

Raven spun on her heel and walked out of the tent, veering off in a random direction, not paying attention to where she was going. She felt like she couldn’t breathe while the rest of her went numb and all she could focus on was getting away. Black energy flickered between her fingers. She should portal somewhere. Anywhere. Just get away.

Gar watched as Raven abruptly exited the book tent mere moments after entering it and then half-run in the opposite direction of him.

“Ah, shit,” he said, unknowingly interrupting one of the people talking to him. They all followed his line of sight to see a blur of purple and black rapidly retreating through the crowd.

“Nice to meet you guys but I gotta go,” Gar said before taking off after her.

Raven finally got to the edge of the flea market and turned, desperately hoping she was heading toward the car. Her heart lurched and a lump formed in her throat when she heard pounding feet behind her. She swallowed the lump down. They would not make her cry. Not in front of him.

Break up with that poor boy so he can find someone actually capable of love.

“Rae!” 

She stopped, allowing Gar to catch up.

“What--”

“Car,” she interrupted, and began walking again.

She stiffened as he put an arm around her shoulders.

That's the only way those things can get someone to be near them.

“You’re going the wrong way,” he said.

She let him steer her around, completely dejected. They walked in silence for a few minutes when Gar’s ears twitched. He glanced over his shoulder.

“Goddammit, not now,” he muttered. He wrapped his arm tighter around Raven’s shoulders, hugging her into his side protectively. She looked up at him, a question in her eyes.

“Paps found us,” he breathed, as the car came into sight a block away. 

They picked up their pace as they started hearing their names being called and shutters clicking, some using bright flashes despite the clear day. Raven snaked her arm around his waist, hand gripping his shirt while the other came up to hide the part of her face that wasn’t being pressed into Gar’s chest.

They were surrounded now, half a block from the car, camera flashes almost blinding.

“Beast Boy!”

“Raven! Give us a smile!”

“Where are the others?!”

“C’mon, kiss her!”

“Raven, look here!”

“Smile, Raven!”

“Is it true this happened at Nightwing’s party?!”

“Who all was there?!”

“Beast Boy, over here!”

“Is it true she left Aqualad for you?!”

“Does Nightwing approve?!”

“Give her a kiss!”

They had reached the car, causing the paparazzi to become more bold. Some got close, intentionally knocking into Raven to make her stagger. She clung to Gar, who was now supporting her full weight and preventing her from falling. He clutched her to him and glared at the gathered photographers, eyes tinged amber.

“Back off,” he snapped.

They retreated a few feet but continued taking photos and shouting questions. Gar unlocked Raven’s door and made sure she was safely inside before opening the trunk to stow what they had bought. He then jogged to the driver’s side door and got in. Raven had leaned all the way forward, hiding her face in her lap.

He started the car and drove off, knowing the photographers would move. Once they were a safe distance away, he put a hand on Raven’s back.

“You can sit up now.”

She did and immediately began staring out the window, jaw clenched, arms crossed.

Gar glanced at her and then back at the road. He placed a hand on her thigh. “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Rae--”

“Not now. Please.”

He glanced at her again, worried, then reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“Ever had Boba?” he asked.

She was silent for a few seconds, then swallowed. "No," she whispered, still looking out the window.

"Ah, we gotta get some then-- you'll love it," he said, running a thumb over her knuckles.

Raven looked down at her lap. "Can we just go home?" she asked quietly.

Gar released her hand and dug through his pants pocket, eventually coming up with their holo-rings. He slipped on his own and held the other out to Raven. She looked at it for a few moments before taking it and placing it on her finger. She then went back to silently staring out the window, face now blank.

Gar placed his hand on her upper thigh, just below the hem of her shorts, and snuck glances at her the entire way to his favorite boba shop. Raven remained statuesque, expression never changing.

He parked the car near the shop but didn't move to get out, instead unbuckling his seatbelt and turning his body to better face Raven. He reached for her hand and held it in both of his. She still didn't move, didn't look at him, giving no indication that she even knew he was there.

Gar's ears drooped. "Rae."

Nothing.

He leaned forward, trying to make eye contact. She turned her face further away.

"Raven," he said firmly, pulling on her hand.

Nothing.

Gar sighed and bowed his head, chin on his chest. He looked up again, greeted by the back of her head.

"Raven, I don't know what the hell happened but please remember how much I love you," Gar said, taking one of his hands and rubbing the back of his head. "If, you know, that even helps anything but… I do."

He deserves more than to be stuck with a demon cunt like you.

Raven's eyes burned but she refused to cry. She pushed the feeling down, allowing numbness to take its spot. She finally looked at his remaining hand clasping hers and squeezed it lightly, giving a slight nod.

Gar leaned forward, using his free hand to turn her face toward him and felt a pang seeing the pain in her eyes. He kissed her softly before resting his forehead against hers.

"We can go home if you want," he said. "I'm not gonna force you to stay out."

"No, I'm okay," Raven lied. "I just want to be with you."

The corners of her mouth twitched but she couldn't bring herself to smile yet. "Now that you're Mark Farr maybe I'll actually get some of your attention."

Gar smiled guiltily. "I'm really sor--"

"Don't be, I'm just teasing," she said, bringing a hand up to comb through his hair. "I brought it on myself anyway… I wanted my green bean."

Gar grinned and kissed her again. "You'll get him back later. But first, you have to try Boba."

Raven glanced at the storefront, face back to an unreadable mask. Without a word, she unbuckled her seatbelt and exited the car. Gar met her on the sidewalk and pulled her into a hug. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as she tightly clung to him, hands fisting in the back of his shirt like she was afraid he’d disappear.

Break up with that poor boy so he can find someone actually capable of love.

Raven pulled away after a few minutes and took a shaky breath, forcing herself to smile at him. She saw only concern in his eyes. He hooked an arm around her neck and brought her into his side. Turning his head, he put his mouth by her ear.

“You don’t have to tell me what they said -- at least not yet -- but they were fucking wrong, Rae,” he whispered. “They didn't know what the fuck they were talking about.”

She nodded weakly but the numbness remained.

He deserves more than to be stuck with a demon cunt like you.

He lowered his arm to around her waist and reached for the tea shop door while Raven’s heart ached.

Chapter Text

"She didn't tell you anything?" Dick asked, eyebrows knit with concern.

Gar just shook his head and continued chewing on a hangnail. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch, a laptop open in front of him.

It was mid-evening and he and Raven had returned home from shopping about an hour earlier. They had barely made it through the door when she expressed the desire to be alone and locked herself in her room -- where she had been ever since.

"It must have been most unpleasant," Starfire said from beside Dick. "Friend Raven does not often let the words of others bother her."

Vic silently scrolled through Netflix, looking for something to watch with a solemn expression on his face. He hadn't been pleased to hear that they had chosen not to wear their holo-rings.

"She was acting like she did when we all first met… staring at me when I talked to her, expressionless, one-word answers, tensing up when I'd touch her," Gar said, despondent. "There was a small, indie bookstore next to the Boba shop and she didn't want to go in. Raven didn't want to go into a bookstore. Then she was silent the entire way home, just staring out the window. I might as well have not even been there. And as soon as the elevator doors opened she said she wants to be alone and beelines for her room, locking herself inside. I texted her like a half hour ago and it says she's read it but no response."

He closed the laptop and slumped back into the couch, hands pressed to his face.

"I dunno, man… it kinda sounds like they mighta said something to her about you," Vic said, settling on a reality competition series.

"Me?" Gar said, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. "What the hell could they have said about me?"

Vic shrugged, opening a soda and taking a drink. "Dunno. But she's been glued to you since the party, those people said something to her, she didn't tell you anything about it, and now she suddenly wants to be alone."

Gar stared at him for a few seconds. He then sighed, head falling back onto the couch. "Well that's just fucking fantastic."

The group was silent for several minutes, watching the TV. A ping sounded and Starfire pulled out her phone, unlocking it. Gar watched her eyebrows knit as she read something. She glanced back and made eye contact with Dick, who had read whatever it was over her shoulder. Dick shrugged almost imperceptibly. Starfire turned back to her phone and typed something out, then seemed to wait, watching the screen. Another ping came and Starfire read the new message before standing and disappearing through the hallway doors.

Gar looked at Dick, who was watching the TV again, seemingly oblivious to his girlfriend's sudden departure.

"Uh, what was that about?" Gar asked anxiously, eyes flicking from Dick to the now-closed hallway door and back.

"Hmmm?" Dick hummed, looking at Gar with eyebrows raised.

Gar felt a flash of irritation. "I'm not blind or stupid," he snapped. "What the fuck was that about?"

He stood and started pacing by the side of the couch, chewing the hangnail again. Although still in his human form, he resembled a caged tiger.

"Rae just wanted to talk to Star, that's all," Dick said in a conciliatory tone.

"Right… right… she wanted to talk to Star, but not me," Gar said, running both hands through his hair. "She texted Star but not me. That's fine. This is fine. Everything's fine."

"You need to sit down and take a deep breath before you freak yourself out, grass stain," Vic said, human eye following the changeling.

"Too late," Gar chuckled nervously. "I feel nauseous."

He promptly laid down on the floor and let out a long groan. Dick looked at Victor, who waved a hand.

"Just leave 'im."

Raven laid curled up in her bed, staring at the wall and thinking. The numbness had long subsided to an overall dull ache that became almost like background noise -- able to be somewhat tuned out but still remaining on the periphery, threatening to creep back in and consume her. The attacks had always been personal and she had learned years ago how to let the words roll off of her.

But this was the first time anyone had involved someone else.

He deserves more than to be stuck with a demon cunt like you.

The knife in her heart twisted.

What if they were right? Gar deserved the best and she definitely was not that.

But she was trying… that had to count for something, right?

No.

Raven squeezed her eyes shut and pushed the voice away.

This relationship wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to him. There was so much she couldn't give him.

Break up with that poor boy so he can find someone actually capable of love.

She tried to swallow down the lump in her throat but it remained steadfast. She took a deep, shaky breath.

Was she capable of love? The thought had never occurred to her. How did she know that what she felt for him was love? How did she know her demon side didn't negate her human side in that aspect?

After all, she was an empath. Perhaps she only thought she loved him because she had been feeding off of his love for her.

Had she been unwittingly leading him on this whole time?

That's the only way those things can get someone to be near them.

A single tear fell and Raven quickly blinked the others away.

Should she break up with him? Could she even bring herself to do that to him? He deserved to be with someone who actually loved him, not a monster like her.

She'd been selfish. Incredibly selfish. She had taken his virginity, for Azar’s sake.

Another rogue tear fell and Raven angrily wiped it away.

She heard her phone vibrate twice on her nightstand. She thought about ignoring it but knew it was probably Gar again. Her heart ached.

She reached for her phone and unlocked it. It opened to her texts with Gar, where she had left it, but saw no new messages. She backed out and found new texts from Hank Hall. Against her better judgment, she opened them.

Hank Hall: Saw the news about you and BB… lmk when he's done breaking you in and I'll show you how an experienced man fucks.

Hank Hall: Actually I'll be in Jump Saturday, staying at the Hilton on 33rd and Elm. Room 729. Wear your holo-ring and I'll give the front desk your alias. I'll expect you at 11, no underwear. Don't keep me waiting.

Raven made a face of disgust and immediately backed out of the messages. Her eyes fell on the Instagram app.

Saw the news about you and BB…

She still hadn't looked at Gar's post since she had double-tapped and commented on it the night before. She took a deep breath and opened the app.

She ignored the hundreds of follower and message requests and searched Gar's name. Her heart fluttered when she saw that he had pinned the post to the top of his page.

She tapped the post and swiped through the pictures, a hint of warmth flickering in her chest.

Break up with that poor boy so he can find someone actually capable of love.

The warmth turned to dread as her eyes began to burn. He deserved so much better than her but in the pictures he looked so happy.

She scrolled down slightly. The post was closing in on a million hearts. Her eyes flicked down.

View all 6,891 comments

Her dread deepened. That many people had something to say?

She hesitated, then tapped it and began slowly scrolling. The vast majority of the comments were red heart emojis, heart eyes emojis, and fire emojis sprinkled here and there with crying emojis. Some people expressed jealousy, some asked Gar to marry them, some congratulated him while others said they were perfect for each other. Every once in a while she saw a vomiting emoji, a ‘wtf’, an ‘are you kidding me’, ‘should have been me’, ‘she doesn’t deserve you bro’, or ‘hasn’t she thrown you through windows before’. It only made her feel slightly better to see people defending her in the replies, which is probably why Gar hadn’t deleted the comments to begin with.

Raven backed out of the post and tapped her message requests. What she found there was much more vitriolic than the comment section on Gar’s post. She didn’t open any of the messages, only needing to see the first several words to know the hate they would contain. She closed the app and stared at her wall, the dull aching becoming not-so-dull anymore.

Raven pulled up her texts again. She knew there was one other person in the tower who might have dealt with something similar to this.

Raven: Are you busy?

She stared at the screen as the read receipt popped up and then the three bubbles appeared, indicating typing.

Star: No, we are all watching the TV if you would like to join us

Raven ignored the invitation and quickly replied.

Raven: Will you come to my room? Alone?

The read receipt appeared again but the bubbles did not. She waited, then heard a soft knock at the door. Feeling Starfire’s aura, Raven opened it using her powers. Soft footsteps approached her bed and the mattress shifted under a new weight.

Starfire sat there in silence, asking no questions, simply offering her companionship as comfort. After a few minutes, Raven rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Still, Starfire said nothing, instead opting to wriggle down and lie on her back next to her. Raven’s appreciation and affection for her friend grew tenfold.

She swallowed and took a deep breath. “When you and Dick first went public, were people… horrible to you?” she asked quietly.

“Oh, yes,” Starfire said in a chipper tone. “I was the target of many hateful comments, messages, and letters saying things like I wasn’t good enough for him, he should be with his own kind, I was an alien freak, I was never welcome on Earth to begin with, that I should be sold back into slavery--”

Raven’s head jerked to the side as she gaped at Starfire. “What?!”

Starfire looked at her, suddenly serious. “That’s when Dick swore off all official social media and started only using burner accounts… well, that and when the change.org petition to have me sent back to Tamaran reached 100,000 signatures.”

“Why didn’t I know about this?” Raven asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Starfire shrugged. “Because, in the end, what those people do, say, or think have no real bearing on my relationship with Dick, Friend Raven. We love each other, and we know we love each other, and that’s all that matters.”

Raven stared into Starfire’s bright green eyes for a few moments before turning back to the ceiling. Starfire, however, continued to watch her.

“Has anyone ever said anything to you in person?” Raven asked, barely above a whisper.

Starfire knit her eyebrows. “No,” she said slowly, “but that is probably because I promised Dick to always wear my holo-ring.”

Raven nodded and was silent. Starfire looked back at the ceiling. After several minutes, Raven spoke again.

“Something happened today,” she breathed, then clenched her jaw, blinking rapidly.

Starfire slipped her hand inside Raven’s, lacing their fingers together and squeezing lightly. She waited patiently, giving Raven the time she needed to allow herself to become vulnerable.

“We were, ah… at a flea market,” Raven began quietly, “and Gar was stopped by some fans. They only wanted to talk to him, and, you know, who can blame them?”

She smiled slightly but it quickly disappeared.

“So I told him I’d be at this nearby tent that was advertising first edition and antique books,” she continued, now whispering. “I should have known better than to think I could go alone… but I did go alone and I entered the tent and began looking around.”

Raven paused and took a deep, shaky breath. Starfire squeezed her hand again.

“I picked up this beautiful book. It was bound in dark brown leather and embossed with silver calligraphy. It looked old but well taken care of. I was about to open it when--” she stopped again, clenching her jaw, a few tears spilling over, “when this old man pulled it out of my hands and put it back on the table, saying they wouldn’t be selling anything to me.”

Starfire gripped Raven’s hand tighter.

“I tried-- I tried to say I was just looking but… he snapped at me to do it somewhere else. And there was such… hatred in his voice. But then--,” Raven’s voice broke as more tears fell, “this old woman -- she must have been his wife -- she said that I-- that I needed to--”

Raven brought her free hand up to her face as a sob escaped. Starfire let go of Raven’s hand and scooted closer to her, wrapping her arms around her, a red head resting on top of purple.

“She said that I needed to ‘break up with that poor boy so he can find someone actually capable of love,’” Raven sniffled.

She was hit by intense outrage and anger.

“Someone capable of love?” Starfire repeated. “Someone capable of love? Then this woman truly has no idea what she is talking about because who is more capable than you?! You, Friend Raven, who saved the world -- a world, no less, that still does not appreciate you! How dare she?!”

“There’s more, Star,” Raven murmured.

“More?!”

“She-- she also said that Gar deserved,” she swallowed down another sob, “that he deserved ‘more than to be stuck with a demon cunt like me.’”

Fresh tears streaked her face as Raven was suddenly jolted to the side, a pair of neon green eyes filled with rage flashing down at her.

“Tell me who this woman is and I will reduce her to charcoal,” Starfire seethed.

“That’s murder, Star,” Raven said, wiping her cheeks.

“Murder is hard to prove without a body,” Starfire said. “Or is there even more? Do I need to take them both out?”

Raven huffed a small laugh through her tears. “There is more, but please don’t.”

Starfire laid back down next to Raven and waited for her to continue.

“There was a-- a middle-aged man, too. He, uh, implied that Gar wasn’t-- that he wasn’t with me willingly. That I performed some kind of magic on him because… because that’s the only way a thing like me could get someone near me. He actually called me a thing.”

Raven felt Starfire shake her head in dismay.

“Then the old man became aggressive and, like, stepped toward me and yelled at me to get the fuck out and called me an evil bitch. So, I did… I turned and I just went-- not really paying attention to where I was going, not looking for Gar, I just felt that fight or flight response and fight definitely wasn’t an option so I took off. He caught up eventually but after what those people said I-- I could--,” Raven’s face crumpled as she fought to maintain composure, “I could barely look at him because what if they were right?”

Starfire sat up again and looked down at her, eyebrows furrowed.

“I do not understand,” she said.

“How do I know I’m capable of love?” Raven asked. “I’m a demon… How can demons love anything? I’m also an empath, so how do I know that the love I thought I felt for him isn’t just me feeling his own love for me? Have I just been selfishly leading him on this entire time? And if I have… then what? Do I break up with him so he can find someone better-- someone that actually, truly loves him? I don’t know if I could do that, Star… I think it would kill him.”

She bit her lower lip, tears now streaming down her face, an aching hole in her chest.

“Is this what you have been doing since returning home?” Starfire asked. “Worrying about these things?”

Raven nodded.

“Well, then I suppose I must put your mind at ease,” Starfire said. “You are wrong, Friend Raven.”

Raven shook her head slightly and stared at the ceiling, mouth in a thin line.

“First,” Starfire pushed on, “you are not a demon. You are half demon -- do not forget your mother’s influence. You were born by a human, raised by humans, continue to live amongst humans, and humans are very much capable of love -- as are you. If you were not, I do not think you would care very much if you were leading on Friend Beast Boy or not. You would simply keep using him for your own selfish needs, not debating on whether or not to break up with him for his own benefit. Besides, if the love you feel for him is just you feeling his love for you, then why do you appear so heartbroken right now, at the prospect of ending the relationship? He is not nearby. He was also not nearby when we all talked in the bathroom or in my bedroom or when we went over those texts in the kitchen. Those feelings are entirely your own -- not his. You are right about one thing, though… I, too, believe that you breaking up with him would kill him. At least, on the inside. So, please, refrain. I am rather fond of him.”

Starfire smiled down at her sweetly while Raven processed what she had said. She then sat up and pulled Starfire into a fierce hug that was quickly returned.

Pulling away, she looked into those vibrant green eyes. “Thank you,” Raven whispered.

Starfire nodded. “I am your sister and I am always here for you. Now, about that charcoal…”

Raven snorted. “What would Dick say?”

“Why does he have to know?” Starfire then turned serious. “Friend Beast Boy is very worried about you.”

“I figured he would be,” Raven said weakly. Her phone vibrated.

“That is probably him,” Starfire said, looking at it.

Raven’s stomach dropped and she made a face. She picked up her phone and unlocked it, showing her conversation with Starfire. Backing out, she saw a new text from Hank and tapped it.

Hank Hall: Your read receipts are on. Don’t be so stuck up. There is more than one way for me to get what I want from you.

Her blood ran cold. Starfire’s eyes flicked between her and the phone.

“What is wrong?” she asked.

Raven handed her the phone, heart racing. Starfire’s eyes widened at the messages.

“Please, allow me to show these to Dick,” Starfire pleaded.

Raven shook her head, taking the phone back as a small tingle of fear took hold in her chest. “No, I--,” her voice broke as tears welled in her eyes again, “I want Gar.”

Starfire nodded and hooked her arm in Raven's, pulling her toward the door before she could change her mind.

The common area door hissed open and Starfire immediately called out for the changeling. He was on his feet in an instant, eyes locked onto Raven. His heart lurched at her expression and the tear tracks on her face. He ran to her, scooping her up into a hug that lifted her off her feet. She clung to him desperately.

“Gar,” she breathed, pushing on his shoulders slightly after several moments.

He set her down and cupped her face, thumbs brushing away the new tears that had fallen. “I’m here, Rae.”

Raven unlocked her phone and handed it to him. He took it, eyes flicking down to it and back to her, confused. He then focused on what was on the screen, eyebrows furrowed.

Raven stifled a gasp as she was hit with an overwhelming amount of pure, unadulterated rage. Gar looked up at her, his usual green eyes now yellow, round pupils reduced to slits.

“I’ll fucking kill him,” he growled, each word punctuated.

Dick and Victor, who had turned to watch Raven and Starfire enter the room, stood up at this, alarmed.

“I’ll gut him like a fucking fish,” Gar seethed, voice rising as he looked back down at Raven’s phone.

“Whoa, whoa whoa,” Dick said, walking toward them. “What’s going on?”

Raven took her phone from Gar and handed it to Dick. Victor stood behind him, reading over his shoulder. His human eyebrow shot up and he turned, heading toward central security.

“Vic?” Raven asked. Gar hovered behind her, a protective hand on her waist. He was thrumming with anger.

“I’m deleting his biodata out of the system and terminating all of his credentials,” Vic called over his shoulder. “He’ll be permanently barred from not only the tower but the entire island.”

Dick walked after him. “Terminate and bar him from everything. He’s done. I’ll send out an alert to the other Titan groups that he’s not to be affiliated with in any way, effective immediately.”

Raven’s phone vibrated again and Gar plucked it from her hand, looking at the screen.

“It’s him,” he said darkly.

“You read it,” Raven said.

Gar glanced at her then back at the message. “It says ‘I’ll be seeing you soon one way or another.’”

He laughed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Raven and Starfire glanced at each other.

Gar looked at the screen and pressed the call button. Raven’s eyes widened.

“Gar! What are you doing?”

He waved her off. Hank picked up on the second ring. He started to say something but Gar cut him off.

“Shut up!” Gar snarled, eyes flashing. “If you ever so much as look in her direction I will fucking kill you. Stay the fuck away from her. I am not playing. I will tear you limb from fucking limb and I swear to God I will make it as fucking slow and painful as I fucking can.”

Gar listened for a moment and then laughed.

“I don't scare you, huh? You know what? Stay out of Jump. Stay out of the fucking state of California. If I even hear a rumor about you maybe showing your face around here, I will fucking hunt you down like the fucking pig you are and rip your fucking throat out and watch as you choke to death on your own blood. Or is that not scary enough? I can smell your fear, hone in on what terrifies you most and make it a fucking reality, twisting the knife until I see the light leave your fucking eyes. So try me. Just fucking try me, I am begging you. It will be the last fucking thing you do, I promise.”

Gar listened again and scoffed.

“That’s what I thought you fucking piece of shit."

He ended the call and handed the phone to Raven, then squatted, head in his trembling hands as he took deep breaths. She stared at him, stunned, then glanced at Starfire, who looked proud.

Raven knelt beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "He'd never be able to get close to me, Gar," she murmured softly.

Gar shook his head. "He could have access to serums that suppress powers. We don't know."

"He could suppress yours, too, then."

He scowled. "I don't need mine to do the things I said."

Raven didn't doubt that.

"Give me your phone, Rae."

She looked up to see Dick holding out a hand, mouth set in a thin line. She stood and gave it to him without a second thought. When he looked down, Raven saw the tension in his temples -- an indication that his anger was barely being contained.

Dick took screenshots of the messages and sent them to himself, Victor, Gar, and the official Titans email to later be stored in his vast filing system. He then turned and began walking toward central security, taking the phone with him.

"What are you doing?" Raven called after him. She felt Gar stand and wrap an arm around her waist, tugging her back into him. Her heart swelled at his need to keep her close.

"Vic's gonna program your phone so that any texts or calls from Hank's number are redirected to me," Dick said over his shoulder.

"No, send them to me," Gar said, arm tightening around Raven. She glanced back at him.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Beast Boy," Dick said, turning to look at the changeling.

"I don't give a shit," he snapped. "I want to know what that fucker says."

"And that tone is why it's not a good idea," Dick responded, crossing his arms.

Raven could feel Gar's anger building again, threatening to spill over. She pulled away from him and turned, cupping his face.

"Gar, look at me," she said. Amber eyes flicked to purple and then back to blue.

"Gar," she said more insistently, pulling on his head. "Look at me."

He finally did, eyes softening.

"You need to calm down and let Dick handle it, okay?" she said, thumbs caressing his cheeks.

Gar scoffed, eyebrows furrowed. "You expect me to calm down? After what he said to you?"

"Yes," Raven said, "because the amount of anger you're feeling isn't helping anyone."

"Rae--"

"Please, at least try. For me. I don't like seeing you like this, Gar. Besides, with the way you threatened him, I don't think he'll even cross the Mississippi anytime soon."

Gar stared at her for a few moments, eyes slowly returning to green. He pulled her into him and rested his chin on the top of her head. Dick was gone again anyway, Starfire with him.

"Fine," he muttered. 

She hugged him, listening to his heartbeat return to a normal pace. She closed her eyes, breathing in the smells of the forest. Butterflies took flight in her stomach.

"Was that the only reason you left your room?" Gar asked quietly.

"No," she murmured, arms tightening. "I missed you."

"You were avoiding me," he said. It wasn't a question.

"I was… humiliated," Raven said, voice breaking. "I couldn't-- I couldn't bear to look at you after what happened."

She bit her bottom lip, eyes burning. She chastised herself. When had she allowed herself to become so emotional? She really needed to work on reining it in.

"What happened, Rae?" he whispered. "Please tell me."

Raven hesitated. "I will… just not out here."

"We can go to your room."

"Can we go to yours? It, ah-- feels like you and that’s… comforting.”

"Of course," he said, squeezing her then letting her go. He grinned down at her and ducked his head for a quick kiss.

Dick reappeared, handing Raven her phone.

"You won't be hearing from him again," he said, face solemn. "And Raven… I'm really sorry. I never would have let him in the tower if--"

"Don't apologize for his actions," Raven said firmly. "Hank is responsible for Hank. You did nothing wrong."

Dick looked at her, face unreadable. Then his eyes flicked to Gar, who just nodded in agreement. His shoulders slumped as he sighed. "Right, well… thanks."

He gave them a half smile, then nodded his head back toward central security. "I'm gonna help Vic."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving them alone again.

Raven glanced at Gar. "I wish he didn't feel so responsible for us. Especially now that we're adults."

Gar shrugged. "What do you expect with a mentor like Batman? He also considers you his little sister so that doesn't help."

Raven rolled her eyes and huffed, irritated. "Why do you all insist on treating me like I'm some defenseless, delicate little flower?"

Gar grinned. "Probably because you're about three feet tall and weigh ten pounds, soaking wet."

Raven glared at him, crossing her arms. "I could level this city without breaking a sweat."

His grin grew as he bent over at the waist, hands on his knees like he was addressing a small child. "Ooooooh, scary."

Raven was outright scowling at him now. "I hate you."

"That's not what you said in the shower this morning," Gar said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, I really hate you."

She made to brush past him into the hallway but he quickly snatched her around the waist, clutching her to him and blowing a loud raspberry on her neck.

"Gar!" she yelped in surprise.

She shoved against him, trying to struggle her way free but it was useless with his iron grip. She felt him laughing as he moved his head lower, to the hollow of her collarbone, blowing another, longer raspberry.

"Stop it!" Raven half-shrieked and half-laughed, desperately trying to get away. He laughed harder, holding her tighter against him as she struggled. He nosed away the collar of her shirt and blew a third, long raspberry on her chest.

"STOP!" Raven laughed, still struggling against him but now fighting to catch her breath.

As a last-ditch effort, she lifted her feet off the floor and twisted sharply, hoping to throw Gar off balance. He staggered a bit and Raven threw her legs out, making him fall. He rolled into it, a hand coming up to protect her head. Gar made sure to land on top of her, straddling her hips and quickly pinning her wrists above her head with one hand.

He grinned down at her wickedly, a bottom fang poking out. "Well, what do we have here?"

Raven’s heart raced as a thrill ran through her to the space between her legs. His strong hands easily kept hold of her wrists, trapping them, leaving the rest of her exposed, pinned underneath him. He could do whatever he wanted with his free hand, or his mouth. Raven flushed but scowled at him, making him laugh. 

"Now, I can't have that," he said.

He shifted his weight onto his free hand, leaning forward until his nose was inches from Raven's. Her nipples hardened as her flush deepened.

"Those are some nice armpits ya got there, Rae," Gar said, eyes glinting. "It sure would be a shame if someone… tickled them."

Raven glared at him. "I will send you to Point Nemo."

He smirked and raised his eyebrows. "I don't believe you."

He shifted his weight back to his knees and maintained eye contact with her as he slowly slid his free hand across the floor toward her armpit.

"Garfield," Raven warned.

He tilted his head to the side, expression suddenly innocent as his hand inched closer. "Yes, oh love of my life?"

She fought down a smile. "Garfield, I am serious. Don't."

"Don't what?" The innocent expression had been replaced by a shit-eating grin. His fingers brushed against the fabric of her t-shirt, making her flinch away.

"I swear to Azar, I will scream bloody murder," Raven said.

"Wouldn't be the first time I made you scream," he said, waggling his eyebrows.

He touched her armpit and she flinched away again.

"Garfield!" she half-yelled, struggling futilely.

He laughed, delighted with this new game.

“What the hell?” Victor’s voice came from somewhere behind Raven.

Gar’s head snapped up, eyes refocusing. She took advantage of his momentary distraction, using a small blast of black energy to shoot him straight upward. She raised a hand, directing the energy to envelop him, flipping him over and sending him to land on the couch. She felt satisfied hearing a soft oof escape him when he hit the cushions.

Raven sat up and turned. Victor and Dick were standing just outside the door to central security, both looking disapprovingly between the couple.

“Thanks,” she said, standing and straightening her clothes. Gar rolled off the couch and started over to Raven, grinning again.

“Thanks?” Vic asked, human eyebrow shooting upward.

“You guys have a room,” Dick said, hands on his hips. “Two of them, actually.”

“I told you not to interrupt,” Starfire appeared in the doorway.

“The only thing you interrupted was Gar’s imminent demise,” Raven deadpanned.

Once within arm’s reach, Gar made to grab her again but she jumped away. She pointed at him, eyebrows raised. “Don’t.”

He laughed gleefully, then turned to the other three Titans. “It is with great pleasure that I inform you all that Rae Rae is extremely ticklish.”

Raven scowled at him. “You’re the worst.” 

He giggled, entirely pleased with himself.

Vic shook his head in amusement, then walked toward the kitchen. “You’re really lucky she loves you, green genes.”

“Oh, I know,” Gar said, giggling harder. “Could you imagine if I had tried tickling her a few years ago?”

“There wouldn’t have been enough left of you to bury,” Dick smirked, hopping over the back of the couch.

“You could have scraped him into a nice, little urn,” Raven said quietly.

Gar looked at her, surprised, then started laughing again. “Would you have put me on one of your shelves?”

She smiled at him. “No.”

He gasped dramatically, hand clutching his chest. “What?!”

She snorted and shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”

He clasped his hands under his chin and looked at her expectantly.

“My idiot,” Raven corrected.

Gar smiled happily and stepped toward her, only for her to retreat again. He held up his hands in surrender. “I swear I’m done.”

She regarded him suspiciously but didn’t resist when he draped an arm around her shoulders and steered her toward the hallway.

They entered his room and he glanced down at her. “Couch or bed?”

Raven furrowed her eyebrows. “What?”

“You said you’d tell me what happened at the flea market… just not out there.”

A pit formed in Raven’s stomach. “Right… I was hoping you’d forgotten.”

“Not about something that’s hurt you so badly,” Gar said, tucking some hair behind her ear.

He really does deserve more than a demon cunt like you.

Raven closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Shut up.

The mocking voice laughed.

You never loved him. Not really. You’re just using him.

Stop.

“Rae?”

Hands cupped her face and she opened her eyes to a sea of green. His look of deep concern tugged at her heart.

“Bed,” she breathed.

Gar stared at her for a moment, then nodded. He got in the bed first and pulled her into his lap before she could sit next to him. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her securely against him and waited. She laid her head against his shoulder, forehead pressed into the side of his neck. For a while, she said nothing, anxiety and shame choking her.

“Can I ask you something?” Gar murmured.

“I-- yes?”

“Did they say something to you about me?”

Raven hesitated, then swallowed. “Yes… but nothing bad. About you, that is.”

“But they said something bad about you?”

She said nothing and Gar hummed at her silence, knowing what it meant.

“It was just… the first time someone else has been brought into it,” Raven said quietly. “Before, the verbal attacks were just about me… not about my relationships.”

“And what did they say about our relationship?”

Raven clenched her jaw. “I’ll… start at the beginning.”

Gar waited, thumb rubbing her upper arm. Eventually, she took a deep breath and recounted the events that led to her running out of the tent. She felt Gar’s anger rising as he unconsciously tightened his grip on her the longer the story went on.

“I was so hurt and humiliated and ashamed that I could barely bring myself to look at you because I was terrified that--” she stopped, taking a shaky breath, and finally fell silent.

“You were terrified that, what?” Gar asked.

“That they were right,” she said quietly.

“What?!”

“Well, you do deserve so much better than me--”

“No--”

“--and what if I’m not capable of love and I’ve just been inadvertently leading you on this whole--”

“Raven, stop.” Gar shifted away from her and grabbed her face, making her look at him. He was frowning, eyebrows knit -- an unusual expression for the changeling.

“Gar, it’s oka--”

“No, it’s not--”

“Star talked sense into me,” Raven said, reaching up and smoothing the lines between his brow with her thumb.

“Oh,” Gar blinked at her, “well, uh… good. Because what they said was so wrong, Rae, in so many ways. You’re--” He stopped, blushing a deeper green.

“I’m?” Raven asked after a few moments of silence.

Gar rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I don’t know if it’s too soon in the relationship to say… I, uh, don’t want to freak you out or anything…”

Raven smirked. “You told me you were in love with me for years before we were even together, so if that didn’t freak me out, I don’t think anything will.”

He grinned shyly. “Heh, yeah, right…” he cupped her face again and kissed her lightly, then began caressing her cheekbones as he stared into her eyes, “Rae, I’m not exaggerating when I say that you are everything to me. I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You are the most important person in my life and I genuinely don’t know what I’d do without you. These past few days with you have been the happiest I can remember and I just want to spend every single day with you from now on. You’re my heart and soul, sun and stars, all that mushy stuff, and I’d do anything for you because you’re everything to me. Every part of me loves every part of you, Rae. You’re the best there is-- the best for me. You’re it. The one. So please don’t listen to them.”

Raven stared at him, an incredible lightness filling her chest. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and surged forward, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately. One hand tangled in his messy, dark green hair while the other gripped his t-shirt at the shoulder as she pressed him back into his headboard. Gar responded immediately, strong arms crushing her to him. He brought a hand to the back of her neck to keep her in place and kissed her harder. He then leaned forward and gently laid her on her back, hovering on top of her, never breaking the kiss. Gar only pulled away when he felt a wetness on his face. He peered down at her and, while she was flushed pink with lips that were starting to swell, there were fresh tears on her face.

“Hey,” Gar murmured. He shifted his weight to one arm and used one hand to wipe the tears away.

Raven smiled and reached up, running her fingers through his hair, then around his ear before tracing his jaw line. She finally placed her hand on his cheek and he leaned his head into it, eyes never looking away.

“They’re happy tears, Gar,” she said quietly, then bit her lip, eyes swimming. “I never thought that anyone would ever be able to truly care about me, let alone-- let alone feel so deeply for me-- to love me like you do.”

Gar shifted his weight fully to one side and pulled her into him, nose to nose. “If everyone knew you like I did, they’d feel the same way,” he grinned, “but then I wouldn’t have you all to myself.”

“Yes, you would,” Raven said, wriggling closer to him, forehead resting against his. “I only want you. I’d pick you every time.”

“At this rate, you’ll have me proposing within the week,” Gar said, waggling his eyebrows.

Raven hummed, then kissed him. “At this rate, you’ll have me accepting.”

Gar’s smile was so wide, Raven thought it might split his face in two. Her heart fluttered as both of his fangs popped out.

“Guess I’ll have to make a call to the nearest Tiffany’s then,” he said.

“Just get me a ring pop,” she said, tracing his jaw again. “Blue raspberry.”

“A lifetime supply of blue raspberry ring pops and one engagement ring from Tiffany’s with a lab-grown diamond the size of a grape,” Gar said. “Got it.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

Gar laughed and pulled her in even closer, kissing her deeply.

Chapter Text

Gar really should have seen it coming. He had been doing this for far too long to be ambushed like that.

But he had been ambushed -- how exactly, he still wasn't quite sure -- by just one person. And one person was all it took.

Gar had been standing in the middle of the street when he was grabbed by the nape of his neck, his red and white uniform almost choking him, lifted high into the air, then slammed down onto the pavement before being thrown like a ragdoll through a plate glass storefront window in downtown Jump. He had been thrown so hard, in fact, that he had gone through several shelves of merchandise and crashed into the store's back wall, falling in a heap to the carpeted floor, papers and books flying everywhere.

His entire body hurt and he knew bones were broken. He grit his teeth and squeezed his eyes against the pain, trying to push it down far enough to think. The worst part was the stabbing heat in his side, preventing him from taking in enough air, and a searing pain along his thigh.

When Andre Le Blanc had advertised his intent to rob The Jump City Museum of Art and Culture's Wayne Gallery of Gems and Jewelry -- which was currently housing The Crown Jewel Collection of Vlatava -- the Jump City Police Department had asked Nightwing for the help of at least two Titans to apprehend him.

"Just in case things get a little hairy," the chief had said.

Naturally, Beast Boy and Cyborg had jumped at the opportunity to see some action. Things had been unusually calm for about a month and Gar was getting especially antsy.

Then things got a little more than hairy.

Gar had been a fly on the wall of the gallery with Vic lurking in the shadows nearby when a commotion from outside came over their earpieces. When a call for help was made, Gar knew he'd be able to exit the museum and return far quicker than Victor. So, he took the form of a peregrine falcon and soared out of the building, leaving Victor to watch over the jewels.

Gar had circled in the air a couple times before landing in the street on human feet. Cars were overturned, lampposts ripped out of the ground and thrown like javelins, holes gouged out of the pavement making the area resemble the set of a post apocalyptic film.

Gar took in the destruction with a sense of unease. Le Blanc wasn't capable of this.

His ears twitched, straining against the eerie silence that enveloped him. The police had wisely retreated to their perimeter.

He sniffed the air. Nothing.

By the time he heard Cinderblock crash land behind him, it was much too late. It all happened so fast that he hadn't been able to react, to morph, to fight back.

And so he lay, struggling to breathe, as he reached down and pressed the button on his belt that would summon the rest of the team, something slicing deep into his bicep in the process. He yelped in pain and looked down, ignoring his neck's screams of protest. A thick shard of glass was embedded between two of his ribs about six inches below his armpit.

Well, that explained his trouble breathing. He probably had a punctured lung. He left the shard where it was, knowing Raven would give him hell if he tried to remove it. He strained to look further and saw a long, deep gash stretching across his thigh. Both that and his arm were bleeding profusely, a small pool forming underneath him.

He tried to move into a sitting position but couldn't feel his right arm or shoulder.

Resigning himself to just lie there on the floor, he tried to take a deep breath.

Bad idea. It threw him into a painful coughing fit and when he pulled a hand away from his mouth, he saw that it was covered in bright red, foamy blood.

Definitely a punctured lung then.

Gar dropped his head back and closed his eyes. If he had guessed correctly, Raven would be next to him in about five minutes.

He felt blood drip from the corner of his mouth but didn't care enough to wipe it away.

"Holy fuck!"

Gar's ears perked at the unfamiliar voice. He opened his eyes and quickly spotted a hulk of a man standing in the doorway that must have led to the store's storage area. By Gar’s estimation, he was at least six and a half feet tall and built like a linebacker. He had close-cropped strawberry blond hair and a braided beard that reached about a foot down his chest. The man reached up with heavily tattooed hands and removed his headphones, looking around at the destruction with wide eyes. Even from this distance, Gar could see how icy blue they were. The man gaped when he spotted Gar lying bloody and broken on the floor. He squatted slightly and scanned the store, looking for anyone else. Then, to Gar's horror, the man began slowly making his way over to him, careful to be as quiet as possible. His look of shock had long been replaced by one of steely determination.

Kneeling next to the changeling, he looked him up and down, seemingly assessing his wounds. Loud crashing and booms came from outside, shaking the building. Dust and debris fell from the ceiling.

"Get. Out." Gar said through gritted teeth.

Those two words sent him into another coughing fit, more bubbly blood coating his hand.

"Shit,” the man muttered, ignoring Gar's command. He took off the flannel he was wearing over his t-shirt and pressed it into Gar's hands, wiping them, then spotted the deep cut in his bicep that was bleeding profusely. The man moved, kneeling on Gar's other side and gently lifted the changeling's arm. He sucked his teeth when he saw the large shard of glass in Gar's side.

"Can't do anything about that, my guy," the man said, tightly wrapping the flannel around Gar's bicep and tying it off. Gar noticed that the rest of him, sans neck and face, were as heavily tattooed as his hands. The man then took off his belt and wrapped it around Gar's thigh several inches above the gash, cinching it as tightly as he could before tying it off, too. An explosion sounded nearby and a car came to rest upside down partially in front of the window Gar had been thrown through.

“Leave,” Gar hissed, clenching his jaw against another coughing fit. "Unsafe."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the man said dismissively. "Wasn't safe when I did two tours of combat in Iraq, either, but that didn't mean I left my wounded buddies behind. So congratu- fucking -lations, man, because as of a minute ago, you and I are buddies. Now stop fucking talking. You'll make your lung collapse.”

Gar stared at him for a few seconds. Another explosion rang out, causing a few ceiling tiles to fall. The man looked mildly perturbed. He glanced down at Gar.

"Gonna have to move ya," he said. "Probably gonna hurt."

Gar raised his eyebrows and tried to shake his head, to tell the man to leave him and save himself, but only managed to wince in pain.

"Sorry to break it to ya, buddy," the man said as he moved to Gar's other side and picked him up like he was nothing, "but you're not in charge here."

Gar groaned loudly, everything hurting, as the man gingerly carried him through another door and down a short hallway before turning and descending a flight of stairs. They crossed what appeared to be the building's basement, with the man finally stopping in its far corner. He set Gar down and put pressure on his arm with one hand and on his leg with the other.

Gar yelled in pain. The man ignored it.

"This was where the old bomb shelter was from World War II," the man said, "back when everyone on the coast was afraid of another Pearl Harbor. I figured it'd still be pretty structurally sound."

Gar said nothing, focusing on not passing out. Another couple of minutes had passed when his ears twitched. A door above them had opened, air displaced. A familiar scent reached his nose. Lavender.

He opened his eyes and spotted Raven quickly gliding toward them. He felt instant relief at the sight of her.

Raven’s battle uniform had been updated a couple years ago, much to Gar's disappointment -- even if he was glad for the added protection. Every inch of her, from the top of her neck to the tips of her toes and fingers, were covered in lightweight body armor, with black combat boots reaching mid-calf. Only her signature cloak and belt remained.

She landed without making a sound and knelt beside the man, who suddenly looked unsure of himself. She lowered her hood, face a blank mask as she took in Gar's injuries. Her eyes flicked from the glass sticking out of his side to the tourniquet around his thigh to the bicep wrapped in bloody flannel to the man’s eyes.

“Lift it higher, please,” Raven said. He gave a single, curt nod and lifted Gar’s arm, making him grimace and hiss in pain. The movement stretched his side, tugging the skin and muscle around the glass.

Raven ripped his uniform around the glass, allowing herself a better view.