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Chapter Text

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak had been best friends since kindergarten. From the outside their friendship didn't make sense to anyone who didn't know the two. But anyone who even knew of the pair knew you don't come between Dean and Castiel not if you value your own life that is.

The first time the meet they didn't pay the least bit of attention to each other. Dean was too busy looking around the kindergarten room tying to suss out the best toys before landing on the cars in the corner where a couple of kids were already playing. Castiel was standing in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. He couldn't understand why he couldn't just go to school with Gabriel or even to work with his Father.

Ms Moseley the kind teacher with the kinder smile approached him. 

"Hey there sweetie. Why don't you come play with the cars?" She lead him over the group of boys busily trying to crash cars. "Why don't you make some room for Casitel?" She prompted the kids. A few of the boys snickered. But Dean was too busy trying to find a car that most resembled his dad's Impala, to even take notice. He didn't care who was playing once he got to find a black muscle car. Though Castiel promptly walked away and sat in the reading corner. The first half of the first day of kindergarten was spent like that. Dean playing and Castiel flicking through books making up stories to go with the pictures. 

As soon they were let out to yard Dean ran straight to the climbing gym not caring what anyone else was doing. Casitel had just decided on a nice tree to go sit under when some of the boys from his class came over. Instinctively Castiel knew to shy away from those cruel grins. He tried to put down his head and keep walking but two of the boys stood in front of him blocking his path.

"What kind of name even is Castiel? Is…

Dean was having fun swinging from the climbing gym, taking in the whole playground from his perch. Dean always loved climbing as you could see so much more from a good spot. Smiling he looked at some of the kids playing with a ball and debating weather he should go say hey. Or there was the group of girls playing hopscotch. Dean was the hopscotch champion on his road back home. But then he spotted it. Some of the boys who were playing with the cars earlier pushing another kid. Dean didn't know him but he did know there was no way he was okay. The dark haired boy was cowering into himself as the other boys pushed him and were saying something. Dean couldn't hear what they were saying but he didn't need to know it wasn't nice. They had that same expression Dean recognised as mean. And Dean couldn't stand it. Without hesitation he jumped down and ran over to get in-between the group of boys.

"Leave him alone." Dean definitely glared with all the bravery a 4 year old can muster.

"He's a loser." One of the boys snared. But Dean just took a step forward "I said leave him alone." As the group of boys left rolling their eyes Dean turned to look at the dark haired boy who was just staring at him in awe. "Are you okay? Don't mind them. I'm Dean by the way." Dean stuck out his hand the same way he has seen his dad do every time he introduces himself to someone new.

"Castiel." Castiel replied shaking the other boy's hand.

Dean scrunched his eyebrows together in concentration "Cassie-el, Casty-le" he stumbled trying to pronounce the other boys name. 4 year old Dean really struggled with big words. He sigh exasperated at himself. "Do you mind if I call you Cas?"

Castiel tilted his head to one side thinking about this. "Yes you can call me Cas."

When back in the classroom Ms Moseley was glad to see the young Novak was talking to Dean enthusiastically. His Father had warned her that he was not like his older brothers that she had taught before and not to be surprised if he doesn't talk to any of the other children. Castiel was shy, even with his own brothers. Yet here he was smiling as he showed Dean the books he "read" that morning sharing with Dean the stories he had made up.

From that day on the boys were inseparable in Ms Moseley's classroom. And when they moved to more traditional learning style after the first week of free play Ms Moseley sat them together as Dean was helping Castiel be more vocal but more than that they seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company. Normally Ms Moseley would regularly change up seating arrangements to encourage the children to make as many friends as possible. But for the first two months Ms Moseley kept them together to help Castiel settle in but after Dean's mother died in the November she didn't have the heart to move either of them. 

For a while after Mary Winchester's death Dean didn't want to go into the class. He would stand in the yard refusing to look at his dad as he clinged to baby Sammy's pram. Softly stroking his baby brother's hair, he was afraid to leave him. What if something was to happen to Sammy when he wasn't there to protect him? The first time it happened John Winchester was struggling to stay calm. His voice was just starting to raise.

"You have to go to school. What would your mother say." This made Dean flinch but before his dad could continue Castiel walked over and without looking at Mr Winchester he took Dean's hand and said softly "Come on Dean, Sammy is okay. Ms Moseley will be starting roll call." Dean followed the other boy into the school silently, never once letting his hand drop. John Winchester didn't know what to make of it but right now he was just grateful he didn't have to deal with school refusal on top of everything else. Every morning after that Castiel would silently offer his hand and they would silently walk in together until one day Dean didn't need to take the other boy's hand to separate from his brother. 

That first year together cemented a profound bond between the two boys that no one else could truly understand. The other kids quickly learned not to slag Castiel about his name, interests, anything or else they would have to answer to Dean. Dean would encourage Cas to talk about his interests. And when Dean started to get tense as someone talked about their Mom, Cas would press his shoulder closer to his friend, a touch so imperceptible no one would realise Dean was on the verge of tears while being grounding enough that Dean could nod along to the story without crying. The two played together everyday. Other parents and children didn't always see it as playing together but Ms Moseley appreciated the way they would sit together apparently doing very different tasks whilst occasionally asking the other a question about the activity. And the first day Ms Moseley heard Dean's laughter in the classroom since October she didn't need to turn around to know it was Castiel he was laughing with.

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As the years went by Dean and Castiel only grew closer. Weekends nights were spent sleeping in each other's beds after staying up late reading. Charles Novak didn't care. He barely even paid attention to his own son let alone the other boy. As for John Winchester he travelled so much for work he wasn't aware of the sleepovers. John's friend Bobby practically lived in the house he was staying there to look after the Winchester's boys so often and Bobby had no problem with the kids spending as much time as they wanted together. Weekdays were often spent doing homework together at the Winchester dining room table until Bobby told them to go play and be damn kids for a while before giving them dinner and dropping Castiel home. Castiel always insisted he would walk but Bobby always countered with a gruff laugh that it was no bother, it gives him an excuse to leave the washing up to the Winchesters.

"Why can't I go with you and Cas?" Sammy asked as they walked up the Novak driveway.

"Because you're too young." Dean knocked on the door. The eldest Novak answered the door and smiled at the 2 younger boys. "Heya Michael thanks again for minding Sammy tonight. Bobby had an emergency back in Sioux Falls or else he would have taken Sammy with him." Dean smiled.

"It's no problem. Hope Mr Singer is okay."

"Yeah, yeah. Just a family friend needs help and said it's not an environment for a kid but everyone is safe."

"Well once everyone is safe that's the main thing. Make yourself at home Sammy. Anna's mom is dropping her over in a while. I offered for Anna to stay here tonight. Might as well give my aunt a night off and I thought it would be nicer for you to be with a friend rather than have to hang out with me all night." Michael led them into the sitting room as Sam got visibly more excited for this night knowing now he can spend it playing with Anna, sure maybe Gabriel will even let them use his GameCube. Dean always talks about how Gabriel has the biggest game collection he has ever seen.

"So where's the birthday boy?" Dean asked, throwing himself on the sofa with an air of familiarity. Sam stood hesitantly at the door. He had never been in this house before and didn't know how to act. Dean shot him a look to sit down so he perched himself on the edge of a high back chair.

"He'll be back soon. Gabriel wanted to pick something up in the shops. Don't ask me what. I don't know and honestly I think it's safer that way."

Dean laughed and the flow of conversation went from there. Dean asked how uni applications were going. Michael tried to ease Sammy into the conversation by asking about his favourite subjects and sports. He only vaguely knew the child mostly from stories from Dean, Castiel or Anna. But they had met a few times, mostly at Anna and Sam's track meets. The two had become friends as competitive rivals who began to train together when it was clear they were the only 7 year old that wanted to train outside of organised practice. It was just a happy coincidence that their families were already connected. 

Within a half an hour Anna's mother had dropped Anna at the door thanking Michael profusely as she ran back to her car raving about last minute show tickets she managed to snag when the babysitting offer arose. As soon as Anna appeared in the house she told Sammy to follow her so they could play Smash Bros. She didn't even stop to say hey to anyone or ask if she could use Gabriel's GameCube, though the way Michael rolled his eyes told Dean that she was always like that. For a second he wished he had cousins too. An extension of his own family, an extension of his own home that he could wander in and act like they belong there. Though he quickly realised he did. It was here. This was his second home. As Bobby always reminds him, family don't end in blood, but it doesn't start there either. He just hopes one day Samny gets that too. 

When Gabriel and Castiel arrived Gabriel snuck upstairs before his older brother could see him. Dean went to ask what that was about but seeing the guilt on his friend's face he knew it was a question best saved when he knew Michael wouldn't overhear them.

"Hello Dean." Cas smiled, albeit nervously. Dean chuckled and stood to hug his friend.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY." Dean sang in a loud voice. 

"Dean, you already wished me a happy birthday when we woke up and last night before we went to bed. You specifically said we weren't allowed to sleep until it was my birthday."

"And did it stop being your birthday in the hours I went home? No. So, suck it Sunshine." 

Cas couldn't help but smile even as he rolled his eyes. The boys had several nicknames for one another and Sunshine was one of Cas'. Well, Dean had several nicknames for Cas, but the way Castiel pronounced Dean's name felt unlike the way anyone else did that Dean considered it a nickname. Castiel to Dean was Cas, and over the years more and more people began copying the name, though if Cas wasn't fond of you he would correct you and inform you "My name is Castiel, only my friends can call me Cas." Though this was normally reserved for jerks like Urie and Naomi. Cas was also Angel to Dean. It started as a joke, one day when they were about eight Dean had found out that Castiel is actually an old Biblical name for a certain angel. He laughed about how Cas must be his guardian angel and how his Mom used to tell him angels were watching over him. From then on whenever Cas was being the classic Mom friend, telling Dean to be careful etc., Dean would smile and say it's okay I have a guardian angel looking over me. But as they got older it became a sweet name used only for the fondest, softest moments between the friends. Like when they would share confessions in the middle of the night under the cover of dark like how Dean sometimes was afraid of his Dad or how Castiel thinks his Father hates him. Or more commonly late on a weekend night when Dean would have a nightmare, Cas would wake him telling him it's okay. Dean would reply thanks Angel before lying back down and falling back asleep. As for Sunshine, Cas earned that originally sarcastic nickname as a result of his not-so-sunny disposition when awoken in the morning. 

Dean and Cas decided to wait in Cas' room until Gabriel was ready to leave. As soon as they entered Dean started rooting through his bag and produced an oddly shaped gift-wrapped present. Cas simply tilted his head to the side and pulled his eyebrows together in the look Dean thought as the cute owl look. "Dean, what is that?" He asked simply.

"A bumblebee. What does it look like? It's a present, you dumbass." Dean once again held out the present but once again Cas just stood there in confusion.

"But we don't do birthday presents." And yeah he was right. It was a long-established rule of their friendship from the very start as Dean didn't want to acknowledge his birthday without his Mom the first year. Christmas had been hard enough, but he had to acknowledge that. For Sammy, for his Dad. But he could ignore his birthday. So he did. His Dad seemed to have forgotten it. But when their Kindergarten teacher Ms Moseley had wished Dean a Happy Birthday that morning Cas had turned to Dean with big sad blue puppy dog eyes and said "I didn't get you a present." Dean told him the only present he wanted was his Mom and if he can't have that he doesn't want another birthday present ever. So Cas respected that. Over the years there were several conversations but the rule stuck. They could celebrate Dean's birthday but under no circumstances could Cas give Dean a present. Though in return Cas demanded the same. One year Dean joked and said you don't have a dead mom card to play, Cas simply replied I don't know for all we know she could be dead. And that was settled. No presents for either of them on birthdays. So what was Dean doing standing here with a present?

"Look, it wasn't planned, I swear. I was just at the thrift store dropping in some of Sammy's old clothes for Bobby. You know, he was going to do it this weekend but with the call he couldn't so I decided to help out and I put the bags in Sammy's old wagon and brought them up to the store. You know the not-for-profit one that is linked with the shelter."  Cas could tell Dean was nervous he always rambled on like this when he is nervous. "Well, when I was waiting in the queue to ask where to put the donations I spotted this. It was too perfect to pass by. Like what's the odds of me seeing one today of all days and in a thrift store so it has to be cheap right? Well I grabbed it, went to the till and it turns out Ms Mosely volunteers there- you remember Ms Moseley don't cha? Well of course you do. Sure isn't she in your family's church? Anyway, so I say hey, she asked what I think of school, all that. And before I even ask how much it is, she asked if I'm getting it for your birthday. I'm assuming she knows 'cause of church, right? Well, when I say yes and explain our no-present rule she just winked and said well, if you don't pay for it is it really a present? So she even helped me wrap it with some scrap paper they have there for when it's people's birthdays in the shelter. And well, you don't have to keep it if you don't want to. You probably won't even like it. I just thought. It doesn't matter. Look forget about it." When Dean finally stopped to breathe he looked defeated. He went to put the gift away but Cas stopped him by gently placing a hand on his arm before taking the present. Sitting on his bed cross-legged, he signaled for Dean to join him.

"Thank you, Dean." He said with a genuine smile before he even opened it which seemed to ease some of Dean's tension. As Cas opened the present his face was like a roller coaster of emotions flickering between Confusion to shock before settling on amusement. "Thank you. Dean." he laughed holding up the gift.

"You don't have to like it. It just-"

"Dean, shut up." Dean promptly closed his mouth resisting the urge to apologise once again for the present. "You're right Dean, it's perfect. I love it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He responded before placing it on his bedside locker.

Eventually, Gabriel was ready and he strolled into his younger brother's room before suddenly stopping- "Why is Winnie the Pooh in your room?" Was the first words out of his mouth. Dean looked embarrassed while Cas looked offended.

"Well, actually that is Funshine the Care Bear, not Winnie the Pooh. And he is my non-birthday-present-totally-coincidentally-thrift-store-find from Dean."

Gabriel stared at the yellow teddy bear on the bedside locker before shrugging "Nice loophole there Romeo."

Dean blushed even harder. "Are you ready to go or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, calm your horses there, you and birthday boy will be at the camp out soon enough. Also, did Cassie tell you I got us some treats for tonight?" The Novak smiled mischievously.

They waved goodbye to Michael's car as the three stood at the edge of the woods tents and camping gear weighing them down along with the beer Gabriel had convinced a college student to buy him earlier in the day, the red plastic cups Cas had brought because he didn't like drinking from cans of any type and the illegal fireworks Dean had bought from an unmarked van in July using money he made mowing neighbour's lawns. The excitement was palpable. They were going to meet some of Gabriel's friends in the clearing above. Dean had convinced Gabriel to let them come along as the end of summer camp out just so happened to be planned on Cas' birthday. Bobby had no problem with Dean going as he naively believed Castiel was level-headed and kept Dean out of trouble. Whereas, Charles Novak was under the impression the two brothers were going to a prayer camp out with church friends and had brought the young Winchester along in the hope that he would see the light. They had never told their father this. But they also decided not to correct his assumption and Michael was feigning ignorance on the subject. The clearing was a teen "secret" just outside of town. Secret as in adults pretended not to know about it despite having partaken in the annual end-of-summer camp out themselves when they were teens. But the clearing had signs of a past life: an old Mustang broken down and forgotten, a man made fire pit and generations of initials carved into the trees remembering childhood loves. For as long as people can remember it has been a town tradition to have 2 camp outs. One for the older teens earlier in the summer before people start to move to college. And the other for the younger teens a week or two before school starts back. So for 2 nights in the summer the adults who grew up there kept quiet as the town's teens had their fun. Sure one of his neighbours even told Dean he remembers John and Mary at their Senior Year camp out. They had spent the night cuddling in front of the fire, ignoring everyone else, just holding on to every moment before John shipped out to basic training. Dean liked this borrowed memory. He liked to think of his parents as carefree and so in love they could spend hours in each other's company like that. 

When they approached the clearing Dean noticed a few kids from their grade were also there with older siblings. Some eagle scouts were busy getting the bonfire going. While others were setting up tents. Most of the campers were 13-15 years old with a handful of younger and older siblings also in attendance. But they all looked equally excited to camp out and pretend to be older than they are with the stolen alcohol from parents' drinking cabinets and the endless possibilities that a night like that can offer a teenage mind. Dean and Cas quickly set up their tent with practised ease from nights camping in the backgarden while Gabriel was adamant that he didn't need a tent as he wasn't going to sleep.

Dean was giddy before he even touched some beer. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this good. Yeah, he was always happy with Cas' company. But this was next level carefreeness. He wasn't worried about Sammy. He wasn't worrying about when Bobby was expecting him home. He wasn't worried that Mr Novak would walk in and the tension that seemed to fall into any room he walked into. He felt like a grown-up but even better tonight Dean had no responsibilities and no one to answer to. He had Cas and Gabriel. His friends. The only people Dean would classify as friends. Yeah, he was outgoing and could talk to any but aside from Sammy, these two were the only people he truly felt at ease around. Likewise Castiel was feeling the same joy knowing he was getting to celebrate his birthday with his two favourite people. And he enjoyed seeing the two of them in their element: telling jokes and generally entertaining the others with stories with cheeky smiles and bravado.

The ragtag group drank into the early hours of the morning. At some stage, someone had pulled out an ipod and a set of speakers that looked like they were swiped from their parents PC. Cas was sitting on a log by the bonfire looking around. He may have been tipsy. Well, no he was definitely tipsy. But he was enjoying the buzz. He could see Gabriel off in one corner with a girl sitting on his lap. Cas didn't know how his brother did it but he seemed to be a magnet for girls. 

"CAS" Dean shouted from the hood of the Mustang. "Come and dance." 

"No Dean"

"Come on Sunshine." The familiar nickname got a few odd looks from the other campers but Cas merely rolled his eyes and stood to join Dean. There was no real chance he was going to say no for sure. There never was between the friends. They would do anything for one another. They would fake being annoyed, sigh, and roll their eyes but they would always do whatever it was the other one wanted on the second ask. Because they knew the truth. The truth being neither of them would ever ask the other to do anything that they truly would not do. It might be a bit uncomfortable at first but doing the request was always worth it. But more than that they knew how difficult it was for both of them to ask for anything. When you have absent Fathers and (potentially) dead Mothers you quickly learned not to waste your time expressing your desires because they simply did not matter. The false hope in a moment of asking was worse than suppressing the want. And if you expressed a want someone could use that against you. Use it to manipulate you or throw it back in your face at a later date. Yep, asking for anything, expressing your own wants, it wasn't worth it. So each other knew how much courage it took to ask for anything fearing that rejection even off someone who has proven time and time again they would give you anything within their power.

That's how Castiel and Dean ended up standing on the hood of the Mustang singing at the top of both of their lungs. Dean tried to teach Cas the dance to Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC. He was too filled with alcohol bravery to even try to lie about Sammy liking the music video or any other nonsense he normally does to shy away from things he (well his dad) would deem unmanly. They laughed so hard their cheeks were beginning to hurt but still they danced and sang. As the next song began Dean let out an excited oooohhhhh… he pointed at Cas and started singing "Go, go, go, go, go, go Go, shorty It's your birthday We gon' party like it's your birthday" Cas simply rolled his eyes, grabbed the plastic cup from Dean's hand and drank deep as Dean continued to sing. As he shouted "So come give me a hug, if you into getting rubbed" he grabbed Cas and started grinding against him the way he had seen the older girls do with some guys. He was laughing with a playful smirk. Cas just pushed him away muttering something that sounded like Dumbass. Suddenly a realisation dawned on Dean, to Cas's alarm he smacked his own forehead before looking up "Dude we gotta get you a birthday kiss. We can't be this surrounded by girls and not." Dean was visibly determined as Cas simply tilted his head debating whether to let the liquid courage lead him or not.

"I don't want to kiss some random girl Dean." He started and when he could see Dean about to argue he simply said, "I'm gay Dean." 

Dean didn't even blink. "Okay but you still deserve a birthday kiss." And before Cas could even processed what he said Dean leaned in and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss. Light as a feather. But it was a kiss. Dean Winchester had kissed his lips. Someone by the bonfire shouted "gay" to which Dean replied "So what?" and flipped them off. They continued to dance but Cas could still feel the tingle of his first kiss on his lips. And unknown to him so could Dean. Before tonight the thought of kissing Dean had never crossed Cas' mind but for Dean it was a semi reoccurring thought whenever someone bragged about their first kiss, Dean always pictured his with Cas. 

When the two boys finally tired from dancing they lay down on the hood as some group to the side started lighting the fireworks Dean had left out for whoever to use. The two best friends lay there looking up at the fireworks in quiet contentment. Gently without looking Dean laced his fingers through Cas' and whispered "Happy Birthday Angel".

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"We don't do birthday presents." Dean shouted as he walked into his room and saw his best friend sitting on his bed holding an oddly shaped wrapped lump. 

The grin that spread across the blue-eyed boy's face was one much more commonly seen on his best friend's face. A shit eating grin is what Gabriel refers to as. 

"It's not a birthday present." He deadpanned. "It's a non-birthday-present-totally-coincidentally-thrift-store-find:

Dean rolled his eyes "Oh yeah and what's the coincidence? That you're full of shit." 

"Open the present Dean."

Dean sat down on the bed and begrudgingly opened the gift. When he ripped the batman wrapping paper off he was confused to be met with another layer of paper. He looked at Cas who simply shrugged.

"Couldn't have you guessing what it was from the shape."

Dean let out a small chuckle before continuing the one boy game of pass the parcel, tearing layer after layer. When the final layer was removed and the item was revealed, Dean laughed hard. He crumpled in on himself as big joyous laughter erupted from him. 

"There's not a hope in hell that this was a coincidence." Dean got out in-between laughs. 

Cas smiled "Well it is a coincidence that I happen to know someone who volunteers at the local thrift store who was willing to keep an eye out for me and may have reached out to other thrift stores to do a request find."

Dean grabbed the smaller boy into a hug. 

"I take it that you like it." 

"Of course. I can't believe you got me a Grumpy bear."

"Well Funshine needed a friend."

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Dean and Castiel were always best friends. Yeah, during their teenage years they may have fought. After one particularly bad fight Dean may have even shouted "You're dead to me." before storming out of the Novak's house and promptly ignoring Castiel's mere existence. Well, he ignored Castiel's existence until one evening walking home from a boring date, he overheard shouting. He ran around the corner to spot some of the jerks from his class corner someone. Uriel was throwing insults, occasionally looking over his shoulder at Naomi and April giggling. Raphael was squaring up to the target of the group. Dean couldn't see who it was but when Bart push the target to the floor as him and Raphael kicked him, Dean shouted "Stop"

Uriel paused his urging of the two jerks to turn and face Dean storming up the street. Uriel turning left enough of a gap that Dean could see exactly who was lying on the ground curled in on themselves getting kicked repeatedly as they tried to protect their head. That's when Dean saw red. His stomp turned into a run. 

"I heard you and your boyfriend had a falling out. I didn't think you'd care what happened to the fa–" Uriel's words were cut short as Dean's fist collided with his jaw.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM CAS" Dean bellowed at the other two teens who had enough sense to stop. 

"What you going do Winchester? There's 3 of them and only one of you." Came Naomi's voice from behind him. Dean paid her and her giggling friend no attention. He simply stood tall managing to appear as if he was glaring down at Uriel. Raphael and Bart went to take a step forward but Uriel noticed how Dean clenched his fists and the tension in his jaw.

"Let's leave the two love birds alone. Winchester will want to kiss his boyfriend better." Uriel tried to put as much venom behind it as he could but it didn't phase Dean. As soon as the 3 bullies had stepped away from Cas, Dean rushed to his side. Dropping to his knees he gently placed a hand on Cas' cheek lifting it off the ground. 

"It's okay angel. I got you."

"Dean" winched Cas as he tried to stand. 

"Damn, dude I think we need to get you to the hospital" Dean said surveying his best friend. 

"No. Father would kill me. Dean you know-"

"Okay, no hospital. Is your Father at home?"

"Yes," Castiel looked terrified. And Dean got it. Mr Novak would want to know what happened and if he knew some kids were being homophobic well the bigoted asshole would do alot worse to his kid at thought that he would even let people think he was gay. And Dean wouldn't be able to stop him. Yeah, if there is one thing they are never doing, it's telling Mr Novak that Castiel was gay. Well, not until they were old enough that Dean could make sure the prick never got near Cas again. And only then if Castiel wanted him to know.

"Give me you phone." Said Dean helping the other boy to his feet. With an arm wrapped around Cas torso he held his best friend up. Taking Cas' phone he powered it off and pocket it. Cas raised an eyebrow and tilted his head questionably. Dean took put his own found and quickly sent a text

To The Trickster: hey Gabe, Cas is stayin in mine tonite. His phone dead. Tell Mike plz.

When they had made the short walk back to the Winchester's house, Dean was happy to see Bobby's truck was not in the driveway so he would have no explaining to do. Dean left Cas to go into his room alone as he gathered some aspirin, water, one of the fancy honey chocolate bars he always had hidden in case of a Cas emergency. Upon entering his room he found Cas sitting gingerly on the edge of the chair by his desk. Dean noticed the way he was wrapping his arms protectively around his chest. Dean knelt in front of Cas

"Come here Cas, let me see you." Dean indicated for Cas to take his top off. Cas hesitated. "C'mon I just want to check if you need anything." Dean's voice was gentle and his eyes soft. Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, Cas took his top off. It was a slow process as he winched in pain but Dean helped him. Then Dean froze. The sight was shocking. Fresh bruises were beginning to turn violently red but Dean could also see the purple hues off slightly older bruises along with yellowing ones even older still. It seemed to Dean his whole chest was covered. His eyes then registered so was his arms. Well that explains the long sleeve top that was so uncharacteristic of Cas. Kneeling beside his friend Dean reach out a hesitant hand gently brushing his fingers across the bruises.

"What happened?" 

"It doesn't matter."

Still gentle Dean looked in Cas' eyes "Please angel tell me."

Castiel sighed and whispered "Uriel's band of jerks" Dean couldn't believe he was jokingly using the term Dean had nicknamed them years ago "When they heard I was dead to you"

Dean flinched but Cas continued "I don't know, its like they had permission to go after me so they took it."

"When?" Dean's question was barely audible as his eyes once again returned to examining the damage done. 

Castiel didn't want to tell him this. He knew Dean would feel guilty and he didn't want that but at the same time he knew Dean wouldn't drop it until he got the truth. "Everyday. During lunch, after school, generally whenever I had the displeasure of running into them. Sometimes it was just insults, or maybe just one punch or like today."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dean searched Castiel's face for an answer and he quickly got it. Why would he have told Dean? Dean had said he was done with him. Why would he have any reason to think that he would even talk to him? And the uncomfortable truth is he wouldn't have. If Cas had tried to talk to Dean he would have told him to fuck off. Suddenly Dean was angry. If he was being honest he was angry at himself. But he couldn't think about that now. 

"I'm going to kill them. I'm going to fucking kill them." Dean was getting riled up, pacing his room fists clench.

"No Dean, it doesn't matter."

"OF COURSE it matters Cas. Look at ya. You're covered in bruises." Dean continued to rant. Cas could only see one way of calming him down. Getting up he crossed the room. He gripped Dean into a tight hug, and after a moment his friend gave in and leaned into the hug, even momentarily resting his head on the shorter boy's shoulder. Cas awkwardly pulled them both on the bed still hugging.

"Cas I'm sor-" Dean started but Castiel shushed him, picked up the chocolate from the bedside locker and handed Dean a piece. Biting into a piece, Cas moaned before lying back down. Dean smiled. He couldn't remember why he was ever so angry at his angel. It wasn't worth it. But he is just glad to have him back and he would never let another douche hurt Cas again. 

At Castiel's request Dean didn't fight the band of jerks, however he did slip their science teacher an anonymous letter outlining how the band of jerks all cheated and which kids they exploited for work. They were kicked off the football team as a result of academic probation. And yes, it was not as satisfying as a punch may have been, but seeing their faces drop when they were told not to show up to practise by Coach after Gym class was priceless.

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Throughout high-school, people often mistook them as a couple. Dean may have been outgoing and a natural charmer but he was never one for touching people with 2 exceptions: one being if he was making out with someone and the other exception was with Castiel. The two were constantly sharing gentle touches, a brief hand on the shoulder, a hug, bumping knees together when sitting down, hell they still slept in the same bed at least once a week. Whereas Castiel could be quiet and introspective he shone around Dean, often joking, smiling and playing around. Between all that, the nicknames and what Gabriel referred to as the eye-fucking, it was obvious why everyone mistook them for a couple. Well obvious to everyone but them, who were both consistently confused but not offended by the assumption. It probably didn't help the couple assumptions that they attended every school dance as each other dates as there were no other out queers in the school. Not that Dean was queer- well, not that he was out. When he finally admitted to himself that he was bisexual he naturally informed Castiel during one of their late night whisper sessions where secrets lie. Cas stared at Dean with a look that showed all the patience of an angel dealing with a dumbass. 

"I know"

"DUDE, I just told you my biggest secret and that's how you react." Dean got mock offended. Castiel felt immediately guilty.

"You're right Dean. Thank you for telling me. And thank you for accepting my friend. I want him to be happy with himself and you're doing that."

"Yeah, yeah, Oprah. Enough of those chick flick moments." Dean deflected. Even after that night it took Dean a while longer still before he told others, but it came as a shock to noone as Dean and Cas regularly made out at parties drinking and occasionally even when sober. Dean claimed it was because he didn't want Cas to miss out on important high-school experiences just because he was the only gay in the village. So they made out together, they talked about hot guys together, they looked at porn together and on several occasions they masturbated in the same room after promising it means nothing, not to talk about it again, and not to touch each other. 

The first time one of them tried to take it to the next level was hard on both of them.

John Winchester had been on one of his rare home visits. Dean was always trying to appease his Dad but John had been quick to remind Dean how much of a failure he was in John's eyes. After a day of complaining about Dean, John had lost his temper when Dean had dropped a plate. Dean had shown up to the Novak's house with a split lip, cuts across his arms, desperately apologising and explaining to Castiel that Sammy was in Gareth's and of course he didn't leave Sam at home alone. Sam hadn't been home all day. He had deliberately avoided the house when he heard Dad would be home.

"I know you wouldn't leave Sam in danger." Cas said, leading his friend into the empty house. Cas was grateful he had gotten out of dinner at his aunt's claiming to have homework to do. They would have a few hours at least of solitude. 

"Dean what happened?" Dean looked terrified he wouldn't even sit down until Cas gestured for him to.

"Oh you know me? I'm so fucking clumsy." Dean started with a broken voice. Castiel frowned. Clumsy is a word Castiel has never heard anyone describe Dean as, but he didn't dare to interrupt knowing it was unlikely Dean would start a second time. "Dad just wanted dinner yeno. He was getting impatient. Qnd fair. It was later than he thought it would be because I didn't have the house clean you see." Cas knew Dean always had the house clean, John must have wanted it spotless. "So yeah, I was behind schedule. And I was being stupid rushing around. Well, you know how dad likes his plates hot? So I was heating it on the grill while finishing the last of the dinner. But when I- I'm such an idiot- when I was taking the plate off the grill, I didn't think of grabbing the oven mitts and the plate was hot. Like of course, it was hot, that was the purpose of putting it there but in that moment, I just, I know I should have held it, but Man it was as if I just instinctively dropped it. I shouldn't have. Fucking idiot. It was too hot for my hand, you know, but I shouldn't have been so sensitive, like man up. And it just broke, so naturally Dad got annoyed. Like of course he got annoyed. I just broke a plate and the dinner started boiling over when I was trying to clean up the plate. I, I should have known better. I do know better. I just, I just wasn't thinking you know? And I don't know, we got like, I know, he was just trying to teach me a lesson. He just- he just- you know? Well, he just gets angry sometimes. And fair enough. I should know better than to put him in the position where he does get angry. So he was saying "is this what you do with the good money i earn? Just break the shit I buy?" Then I don't know Man he just started throwing the rest of the plates, I don't know if he was aiming at me. I would understand. So that's how my arms look like that, I was stupid holding them up. But then he was done with the plates, and he, you know like, he just, I don't know, man, he punched me. Which is fine. I deserved it. So he left the room and he went to start drinking in the study. I cleaned up and put dinner on the table. I told him dinner was at the table and I was gonna go out. He just, I don't know, grunted back. But I told him so that's, that's, that's all that matters, right? Right? Like, he knows where I am. Well, he doesn't know where exactly but he knows I'm not at home. So he knows he doesn't have to put up with me. So yeah. I'm just sorry Man. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry. I just, I just,"

Castiel wasn't even shocked as Dean stood, still apologising, heading towards the door. This happened when Dean's emotions spilled out like this, he would monologue nervously, repeat words and occasionally stutter. Then he would realise what he had done, clamp up, change his tone, apologise and leave. The event would never be spoken off again. But Castiel has long since discovered what to do in moments like this. He stood up and grabbed Dean into a hug. At first Dean stood there poker straight doing nothing. Cas held on, he had expected this. After some time Dean's body began to loosen up and eventually he was holding Cas back leaning most of his weight onto his best friend. They stood like that for a few minutes longer. When they finally broke apart Dean had tear streaked cheeks. Cas gently wiped the last tears from Dean's eyes before beginning 

"Now you listen here Dean Winchester. You are not the burnt and broken shell of a person that your Dad would have you believed you to be. You are not clumsy. You are not stupid. And I can not express this enough but you did not deserve this. Nothing you do could ever be reason to hurt you like this. You are incredible Dean Winchester and it is not your fault your Dad is too much of a fool to see that. "

Dean began to shake his head but Cas had expected this so just said "I know you don't believe me. And that's okay. But I will keep telling you until one day you realise how wonderful you are. And until then I will know it enough for the two of us."

Not knowing what to say Dean hugged Cas again for several minutes before eventually saying "Can we go lie down?"

"Of course Dean. You head up and I'll just gather some supplies."

Dean chuckled weakly at his friends weird phrasing but started towards the stairs without another word.

Castiel grabbed some snacks and soda from the fridge while shooting off texts to Gabriel.

Cas to Gabriel: Dean staying the night. Tell Father and Michael please. Let me know when you're on your way home. 

Gabriel to Cas: OK use protection there's condoms in my drawer :) 

Cas to Gabriel: Assbutt

Cas opened his bedroom door to find Dean already under the covers curled into the foetal position. After putting down all the supplies and pressing play on the cassette type labelled "Dean's Top Angel", Cas joined him. It wasn't long before Dean wrapped himself around Cas instead. They were lying there listening to Bob Dylan sing about knocking on Heaven's door. Castiel stroked Dean's hair as Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder. Gingerly Dean tilted his head to look at his best friend.

"Hey Cas?" Dean began, Cas hummed his acknowledgement "Did you mean it? You know all that stuff you said about me?"

"Yes Dean. You are incredible. You are the most wonderful human I have ever met. And I can't imagine meeting anyone better. You are funny. You are smart, You are kind. But most of all you are loving. Maybe not in the way people traditionally think of. And I know you don't see yourself that way but everyone who knows you sees it. You raise your little brother for love. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know." The look in Cas' eyes was full of adoration and sincerity. It was so genuine Dean didn't know what to do. So he did what Dean Winchester does best: he deflected.

"You know you're human too right? Most people don't refer to others as human." He laughed. Cas stared down with mock annoyance "Shut up Dean."

"I'm just saying man, keep talking like that and people will start to think you're E.T. or something?"

"I am not an imaginary children's film character. I merely acknowledge that the classification-"

"Cas shut up"

"No."

With a grin Dean looked up through the long eyelashes "I'll make you."

Cas raised an eyebrow "You can try. Now where was I-"

Castiel had expected Dean to hit him with a pillow or maybe push him off the bed, he had been prepared for those, he was not prepared for what actually happened. Dean leaned up and kissed his friend deeply. In a quick movement he was straddling Cas' hips. Cas' momentary shock was quickly replaced with an urgent need to kiss Dean as passionately as Dean was kissing him. Soon the two were lost to each other's touch and very familiar taste. At some point they also lost their tops. But it was when Dean moved to Cas' belt with a broken "Pleass Cas I need this" that Cas saw this for what it was. Dean was hurt and needed comfort, reassurance and love. Cas thought there was no way Dean could actually want this. He was simply replacing a need with a convenient distraction. 

"Dean, stop." Cas sighed. Dean was confused but stopped and rolled off Castiel. Cas cupped Dean's cheek slowly stroking his jaw staring into the other's eyes he stated "I'm not going to do this. I am not going to take advantage of my emotionally vulnerable best friend. If we ever do this I want us to do it because we are both as ravenous with desire as each other and I want us both to be emotionally okay that day." 

Dean couldn't argue there. He wanted to. He wanted to say he was fine. But he couldn't. Asides Dean knew there was no changing Cas' mind when he was this self assured. 

"Fine angel. But can we stay like this for a while?"

"Of course Dean." 

And they did. For the bulk of the night they lay there topless, legs entwined, Dean's head on Cas' shoulder, arms wrapped around each other as they talked, laughed and eventually slept.

Chapter Text

Dean and Castiel never talked about the convenient distraction again. They continued to be them, sexual tension and all, both assuming the other could never be interested in them romantically or sexually.

The second time one of them tried to take it to the next level it was Dean who had done the rejecting. They had been at a party where Cas had gotten particularly drunk. When Cas tried to move things below the belt Dean stopped him with a smile "I'm not going to do this. I am not going to take advantage of my drunk best friend. If we ever do this I want us to do it because we are both horny as hell and at least mostly sober." Castiel pouted But Dean just pulled him in for a cuddle and stroked Cas' hair until he fell asleep, not long after. Once again this was a situation never talked about until at least a decade after.

You know what they say: third times the charm. 

Castiel and Dean had both been ecstatic when they both got admitted into the University of Kansas. On their first day on campus, they attended a clubs and societies fair. Together they wandered around the booths, checking out what social activities the university has to offer. When they saw the rainbow covered Queer Soc stall Dean joked about Cas no longer being the only gay in the village. Oddly enough to Dean this seemed to deflate Castiel. For the rest of the day Castiel was withdrawn and quiet, only smiling when it was clear he was expected to. The drive back home was silent with Castiel staring out of Baby's window. Back in the Winchester's house, Dean busied himself making Cas' favourite dinner as the other man sat at the breakfast bar flicking through his timetable and information pack. 

"Looks like we have psych 101 together." Commented Dean looking over Cas' shoulder.

"Yes and Human Sexuality."

"Awesome at least I know one person to cheat off." Laughed Dean. All too seriously Castiel started to reprimand him before Dean held up two hands attesting to joking. Still Cas didn't smile. Dean was starting to get worried. Placing a burger in front of Cas he decided to try another technique.

"So Bobby and Sam are staying in Sioux Falls till Monday so we have a full week in an empty house. Classes don't start till next week. We only have to go to campus for a few hours for admin stuff. So whatcha want to do?"

Cas simply shrugged. That was the final straw for Dean. He pushed aside his burger, stood up and knelt beside Cas' chair. Castiel continued staring at his burger as if Dean wasn't there. Gently Dean held the other man's chin and faced him to look at him. 

"Talk to me Angel, what's going on?"

Castiel looked like he was going to dismiss the concern but at the last second he sighed. "I know it makes no sense Dean but I'm worried about losing you but at the same I don't want you to feel obligated to stay. You said I am no longer the only gay in the village and it got me thinking. Did you only put up with me because you felt sorry for me? We are so different. There is no reason for you to like me and it's not like you need our friendship. You are Dean Winchester. But I wouldn't put it past you to only stick around because I am nothing without you. Sure the only reason people don't mess with me is because they know I'm your friend. And I am waiting for the day that you realise that KU is big enough that you don't have to protect me so you cut your losses."

Dean was in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had no idea what to say so he said the first thing that popped into his head. 

"You're a dumbass Cas." Judging by the confused owl look on Castiel's face this was not the response he was expecting. "Look here, right, I'm not good with words but I know one thing for sure. And yeah we are different. But we ain't as different as people say we are. This ain't some pity parade. Next to Bobby and Sam you are the closest to family I have. And Cas you're not nothing without me. You're smart, funny, kind, devastatingly handsome, fuck, you're hot as hell with those come to bed eyes and sex hair, you're brave, you can be a fucking child and a stubborn son of a bitch but yeah man you're you. And sure who else would put up with my ass?"

Dean could see Castiel contemplate all this. Well, he thought Cas was contemplating it all until he said "Dean, you think I'm handsome?"

Dean pinched at the bridge of his nose before rubbing his hands down his face. As he stands up and turns back to go to his seat Dean replies "Seriously dude that's what you got from that?"

Dean hadn't noticed his best friend standing up until Cas had grabbed his shoulder, turning him around. Cas was standing so close he could almost count the freckles sprinkled across Dean's nose. He moved his hand up to Dean's head, softly caressing the hair at the nape of his neck. Dean's breath hitched as Castiel started applying more pressure, massaging the muscles there. "No," he confirmed "I also heard hot as hell." Cas leaned his forehead against Dean's. He placed his other hand on Dean's chest just below his neck and began to trace miniscule circles with his thumb, never once stopping the impromptu neck rub. They stood like that for a few moments breathing in each other's company. Dean's hands were firmly by his side until he sighed "Fuck Cas" with one hand on Cas' lower back and the other in between his shoulder blades, Dean pulled his friend so that their bodied were flush to one another. Then they kissed. The kiss was feverish with want. Behind the kiss was all the emotions of the day, and years of growing need. Yes, they had made out before but this felt different. This felt like they had given each other permission they didn't know they had needed. They pulled each other closer, holding on tight as they kissed deeply until they had to break away panting. Cas was the first to break the silence "Dean, you once told me that if we ever do this you want us to do it because we are both horny as hell. Are you horny as hell?"

Dean wanted to laugh but what came out of his mouth was a whimper "Fuck yes Cas." He grabbed Cas' hand and pulled him upstairs leaving their uneaten burgers on the table. 

After their fun they lay under the covers just embracing one another. Dean couldn't believe his luck. Castiel thought he may be dreaming. He didn't want to push his luck but he needed to know.

"Dean, what does this mean? Like are we still friends? Lovers? Do we never talk about this again?"

To Cas' dismay Dean laughed. "Did you just say lovers?"

Castiel stared at the other wondering why he just had sex with this fool.

When it was clear Cas wasn't going to reply with anything other than a death stare. "I don't know man. I know we are more than lovers. Of course we are still friends. What do you think?"

Castiel was suddenly shy but he wanted to push through the urge to shut down. "Dean, I will take all you'll give me. When we're holding each other like this it feels like we are all we need. You're all I have ever needed. I love you."

Dean was overwhelmed with emotion. He didn't know what to do or to say. He is taken back to 2002 and his first kiss. He always wanted it to be with Cas and it had been. Now he wanted the first time he said I love you romantically to be to Cas but that won't be today, he couldn't. Today he would settle for kissing his angel, satisfied in the knowledge that things have never been better.

Chapter Text

"Hey dude, can you stop with the Britney Spears? Like seriously?" Dean threw a cushion at Gabriel who dodged it while singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time"

"Well, if you didn't want to listen to cool music you shouldn't have asked me to help you get ready."

"Gabe you wouldn't know what cool music is if it hit you!" 

"Well, if it was up to you we'd be listening to 'White Wedding' right now."

"It's my wedding day, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be listening to whatever it is I want to listen to." Dean complained.

"That sounds boring. Why would we do that?" Dean rolled his eyes before Gabe continued "No, but seriously I could be with my baby bro right now, but I'm stuck with you so you're gonna have to listen to my music."

"Yeah well there was no way I was letting you be around Cas today. You would have freaked him out." 

"Oh yeah and we trust the Samsquanch not to?" Gabriel was offended.

"Yes, yes, we do." 

Dean went to turn off the radio as Gabriel joyously pushed him out of the way singing "Opps, I did it again." Dean rolled his eyes yet again and went back to reread over his vows. Somewhere in the back of his head he knew he should be nervous but all he was, was excited to be marrying his best friend.

Surprisingly, enough the wedding went off without a hitch. There were no interrupting family members. No gatecrashing from estranged bigots. Michael had performed a lovely ceremony. Gabriel had sang a beautiful rendition of Thank You by Led Zeppelin. Dean actually remembered his vows. Sam had managed to get Cas' tie on correctly but according to Donna and Charlie nothing could be done with his hair. Though Dean maintained Cas was the most handsome guy there was, sex hair and all. Yes everything was perfect but as the speeches grew closer, that missing anxiety from earlier hit Dean like a freight truck.

"Let me paint a picture for you all." Dean was so nervous but he appeared as confident as ever. This illusion was helped by his husband pressing against his thigh, the sight hidden from their guests by the table. "It was the summer of 2002. On the day we fell in love, we have discussed it and both agreed that was the turning point. Castiel Novak was busy corrupting me with alcohol while I innocently was teaching him to dance." This got a laugh out of the crowd. Noone ever believes Cas is the bad influence of the pair. "We shared our first kiss that night. I couldn't believe my luck that my first kiss was with my best friend and he was lucky I am just that smooth. I had given him a birthday kiss and we saw fireworks."

"GAYYYYYY" Comes shouting from Sam and Gabriel. Everyone laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. Actually that was our first night of encountering homophobia. But we were together so we didn't care. On the days when we were young we faced many challenges together: bands of jerks, bad parents, lost parents, SATs, allegedly unrequited crushes but throughout it all we had one constant: Love. You know what they say love is forever and ever. And we had it in abundance. Love for each other. Love of our family and later our friends. That's why we are so happy that you could join us today. We have been so fortunate to have every single one of you in our lives. But we wanted to take this moment to express our gratitude to someone very special to us both. 

So you all know my mum died when I was a kid. At this stage Cas already knew what it was like to have no mum around. In theory we both had Dads at home but well, you all know there's a reason neither of them are here today. We both had our brothers that we love deeply even if they can be little bitches."

At this both Sam and Gabriel shouted "Jerk." While Michael visibly hid his face in his hands. 

"Brothers are great but sometimes you need an adult. And that's where Bobby came in. You all know Bobby is my adoptive Dad. But what you don't all know is Bobby has been parenting Sammy and I nearly full time since my mum died. And more than occasionally that parenting would extend to the Novaks. Whether it was teaching Gabriel how to fish, showing me how to shave, driving Sammy up and down the country for competitions and even showing up unannounced to Michael's graduation when he heard no one would be attending it for Mikey. Now before I continue I want to acknowledge something some of ye may have guessed. I did not write this speech."

There was gasps of exaggerated horror from the crowd. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well my loving husband - damn that sounds weird - Cas wrote it but requested that I say it. Don't know why. The son of bitch actually talks for a living but apparently you are all more intimidating than his students. So here I am. Though I must make it clear he was not involved in this next part. So if we get an annulment you will know why."

Cas looks genuinely afraid as to what his husband will say.

"So where was I? Oh yeah Bobby taking care of his boys. Yeah he'd do anything for us including dragging his ass out of bed at 3am to go bail a so called Angel out of jail." 

There was murmurs of actual shock from the crowd. While Cas looked like he was debating if it would be easier to kill Dean right now or to have plausible deniability. 

"Oh yeah, you all think I'm the bad influence but I have never been caught spray painting 'how important is lipstick to you?' On the side of a building."

The room erupted into surprised laughter while Cas tried to defend himself "The company was known to test cosmetics on monkeys."

"Yeah and that wasn't the only time either. I know at least 3 times Cas had to be bailed by Bobby including once from campus security with Charlie. If you don't believe me go ask Bobby or Sheriff Mills over there. I, for one, have never been caught by law enforcement."

"Caught being the optimum word." Complained Castiel from his seat. 

"Any way thank you Bobby for always taking care of the lot of us. As a gift from us to you there a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue sitting on your desk back home. So before he gives his father of the - speech please everyone raise a glass to Robert Singer, the man that taught us family don’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either. Family cares about you, not what you can do for them. Family’s there through the good, bad, all of it. To Bobby." Dean raised his glass and the room rang out in cheers.

Bobby stood up "I don't know what these two idjits were expecting me to say. Ya would be fed up listening to people talk at this stage. So eat, drink, heck buy me a drink for getting old waiting on these two to figure this out. To the idjits." 

"To the idjits." the room echoed. Dean and Cas kissed, happy to be surrounded by all those they love even if that family was insulting them.