Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

L E T T E R S

Today marks the first anniversary of the day everything changed for him. When the ground was torn away from under his feet and he could do nothing but accept the harsh reality. No matter how much he screamed, how much he cried, how much he wished it was him instead - he had to accept the news of his mate's death. When the policeman in front of the door asked to be allowed to come in, he knew immediately that it was no good news he was bringing him. But as he said the words out loud, it was as if a hole was opening under him, threatening to pull him down. Literally - because he collapsed. 

"Mr. Tomlinson, I'm sorry to tell you that your mate died in a car accident today,“ was the only thing he remembered. Everything the policeman said afterwards, he didn't hear anymore. Everything around him disappeared behind a veil, he saw the policeman's mouth move but all he could hear in his ears was blood rushing. The view was blurry from the tears he cried and he would have liked to die at that moment too. At some point Louis found himself on one of the kitchen chairs, in front of a chaplain whom the policeman had probably called and shortly afterwards his family holding him in their arms. But no one could fill the emptiness inside him or take away the heartache that has been his constant companion ever since. Louis has lost his mate with whom he thought he would grow old and with whom he planned to have children. Many little kids should crown their love but they were not granted it. 

The funeral was the most gruesome thing he has ever experienced. To this day he cannot believe that in the coffin that was lowered into the ground was Ed, his body now buried under a pile of earth. That there was where his luck now lay. 

And Louis has been numb ever since. He continues to go about his work in a bookstore every day, smiling warmly at customers and showing them the latest bestsellers. When he visits his family or vice versa, he smiles bravely and doesn't show anything. Because he can't bear to see the worried expressions, the pitying looks that only make it clear again and again what he has lost. But when he's alone, he falls into his hole and the loneliness is almost unbearable. Everything in the shared apartment reminds him of Ed, sometimes scenes play out in front of him that they experienced together. When he cooks and closes his eyes he imagines what it was like when Ed hugged him from behind and put his head on his shoulder, but when he opens them again it's just him at the stove and he often has to keep the tears from falling into the food beneath him. 

When he lies in bed in the evening he hugs Ed's pillow so that it feels like he is with him, even if he was otherwise the little spoon and to be hugged. Which of course also makes him realize again and again that there are no more arms holding him and in which he can fall asleep. But the worst thing is that his Omega is now touch deprived. Sometimes he lets his best friend hold him, who is an Alpha, but it doesn't feel right to be in his arms, he doesn't find his smell comfortable being so close to him and it just goes to show how much he misses Ed again. He often only uses comfort when it starts to hurt. Like the last few days, Louis feels it scratching and tugging and this time it's stronger than all the months before. And now he's gotten to the point where it doesn't even bother him anymore. He knows that depression can develop as the condition progresses and he is absolutely certain that he is already in a severe one. Death alone was bad enough and the touch deprivation makes things even worse, but what would it matter if it got to the worst? Louis firmly believes that in death he would be reunited with Ed. Maybe it would be the best thing that could happen to him. He can't imagine that he'll ever be really happy again and if he's thinking of spending the next few years in this condition, then maybe it really would be better if...

Sighing, he goes to the desk, sinks into the chair in front of it and buries his face in his hands. To distract himself from his pain, he grabs a pen and paper and writes a new letter to Ed, as he has done for the past few months. It's his way of dealing with the loss and he's sent each of the letters because it feels like they're really getting through to him. On bad days, he pretends that Ed is just on a long journey and can't reply but reads his every letter with a smile.

My dearest,

Today I've been without you for a year and it hurts. Not only mentally but also physically. Your soft touches are missed more than ever, your firm hugs, our lovemaking. Warm skin that lies against each other and made me feel safe. I miss your smell, your whole way, your laughter and your eyes that have always looked at me so lovingly. What's the point of living like this anymore? Or to put it another way, am I still alive or am I just here? How do you live without your mate? I'm young and I've got so many years left, tell me babe, how does one live? I miss you so much and I just don't know how to move on. Can you send me a sign? Just something, so I know you're waiting for me? That our souls find each other again? Maybe that would keep me sane, endure the years without you. I'm desperate because I can't see anything good anymore. I get jealous when I see other happy couples. Or parents with small babies. We should be that. I'm crying again because it's not fair. Why weren’t we lucky? Why did someone drunk have to ram your car and kill you? Why was it you that had to die? Why? Why? Why? I'm so empty, emptier than the first few months. With every day that you're not with me, something more falls apart inside me. My body only shows what it looks like in my soul. My skin is so itchy I could rip it off, my muscles ache like I ran a marathon. The tears that are running down my cheeks are literally burning into my skin. Everything is so pointless without you. When I looked in the mirror this morning I saw that my mating mark had completely disappeared. It had been fading all the time, reminding me everyday that you were gone. But as if it knew that today is the first anniversary of your death, it's all gone. My neck is bare. I stood in front of the mirror screaming and crying. But babe, actually it doesn't matter if it's gone, I'll carry you in my heart forever. You live there and in my memories. All our beautiful years are the only thing that keeps me going, even if they often hurt. But I wouldn't trade them for anything. Because what we had was real. As real as our love was, how it burned, so does the pain burn in my gut. I'll always love you.

Your Louis

Sniffling and crying, he carefully folds the letter, puts it in an envelope and writes the address on it. Writing letters is a curse and a blessing at the same time, because as good as it is to write everything down, it is also difficult to bear that it only shows again how bitter the reality is.

In the afternoon he throws the letter into the mailbox a few blocks away and sighs. The address he's sending them to is their vacation home on Lake Tahoe. It was their escape from everyday life, especially for Ed, who had a strenuous day at work as a surgeon and when he had longer free time just wanted to switch off and enjoy nature and the silence. But he himself hasn't been drawn there since his death, the memories of romantic hours they spent there are too painful. But it serves as his personal mailbox. Louis has often considered selling it, giving another couple the chance to have their love nest there. The first few months after the death felt wrong, but today he's starting to think about it again.

When he gets back home, he makes himself some tea and pulls out one of the shirts Ed was wearing and tries to capture the smell of it by wrapping it in airtight foil. On days like this, when he's missing him more than ever, he always pulls out one to hug, bury his face in it and pretend his mate is still there. The itching gets better for a moment, though it doesn't go away entirely and his muscles don't pull quite as hard when he inhales the smell deeply. When he closes his eyes he can imagine the shirt being filled with a warm body, Ed sitting next to him and he only has to let his body sink to be caught by strong arms. Louis can't help but cry again, and as he quickly repackages the shirt to keep the smell, he grows angrier. Because life is so unfair and even a little bit at Ed for leaving him alone. Pure desperation courses through his body and he begins to tremble. He's so cold and he pulls the wool blanket tighter around him, but this in turn only increases the scratching on his arms and he starts itching wildly while the tears are still running down his cheeks. Things can't go on like this, Louis has to change something, has to get over the loss. However this is supposed to happen, Louis has no idea. But he makes at this moment a decision and before he can change his mind, he quickly looks for a broker on his phone, clicks on the first number that comes along and his call is answered shortly thereafter.

∰

Three days later he finds himself in the office of a real estate agent, and after their conversation he puts the key to the holiday home on the table.

"And you're sure you don't want any of the furniture? Or your personal stuff?” the woman asks again, raising an eyebrow.

But Louis shakes his head to say no, only to scratch his arms again the next moment. The agent is an Alpha, a smelly one to him at that, and he just wants out of here. His nerves are already battered by the constant scratching and he has the feeling that he can't stay here a minute longer.

"No, I want a clean cut. Please sell it with all inventory as discussed.”

The real estate agent nods, takes the key and looks at him pityingly. "I don't want to offend you, but I smell your distress and ... I could tell the touch deprivation immediately. Can I do something for you?"

Louis, who was already on his way out, turns in shock at the bold question and what it entails.

"Your services are only needed for the sale of the house, thank you," he says through his teeth, trying to be polite even though he finds it more than rude to name his condition and offer to help him with it.

"Please excuse me for being so intrusive. I'll get in touch with you as soon as I've sold the holiday home," the agent says and smiles apologetically. Louis instead just turns around without a further word and hurries out of the building and to his car, which he parked on the street. He can pull himself together until he sits inside, but then the tears spill out of him and he hits the steering wheel angrily only to howl loudly in desperation the next moment. It was already such a big step to sell the holiday home even though he knows it is the right decision. And yet it's one more goodbye he has to say and just proves once again that he has to get on with his life without Ed, whether he wants to or not. Because he loses himself in his desperation and grief, the physical symptoms become stronger again and when he has calmed down a little, he grabs his phone and quickly dials the number of his doctor, who has been prescribing his contraception for years and since Ed's death also suppressesions for his heat. Of course, he could continue to allow them, helping himself out with sex toys, but he doesn't feel mentally able to do that. The memories of Ed would throw him even more overboard in this sensitive situation. It's enough that everyday life is already difficult enough without him. Going through a heat so vulnerable and grieving with no his Alpha who cares for him  - unimaginable if not downright cruel. In addition, he doesn't want to run the risk of running into a strange Alpha and also defenseless without a mating mark, if it should start earlier and surprisingly, which Louis has always tended to do.

"Doctor’s Office for Omega Needs, how can I help you?" a friendly voice asks, answering his call.

"Louis Tomlinson here, I need an appointment urgently. My…um, touch deprivation is getting worse by the day,” Louis stammers, a little embarrassed at being so helpless.

"You can come right over and I'll put you in between. This is a serious situation."

Louis confirms that he is on his way immediately and when he has hung up, he hurriedly wipes the tears from his face. Taking a deep breath, he starts the engine, turning the music up loud as he drives, drowning out the silence in the car, which was otherwise filled with chatter and laughter with Ed.

Arriving at the practice, he doesn't have to wait long when he is called by his doctor, who is a Beta.

"Mr. Tomlinson, how are you?" he asks with a worried face and Louis sees exactly how he examines his arms and his neck, which already show clear scratch marks. Louis gets nervous under the gaze and switches with his bottom restlessly on the chair, feels like he almost is to blame for this condition even if he knows it’s not true. 

"I'm really unwell. Since my mate passed away, the touch deprivation has only gotten worse. I do have an Alpha friend who sometimes hugs and cuddles me, but I'm not comfortable with it and try to avoid it,” Louis replies honestly, looking down while rubbing his thighs up and down, his muscles aching again. 

"I understand you very well but you're young and I hate to ask, but have you thought about looking for a new partner?" the doctor asks and Louis glances up quickly while he gasps.

"No! I'm not ready for that and I probably never will be. Can you just prescribe me something for the itch and pain, please?” he asks, his heart beating faster at the thought of ever becoming intimate or falling in love again with anyone other than Ed.

"Yes I can do that. However, these will suspend the effects of your suppressants. So you have to decide what you want.”

Louis doesn't have to think twice, he'd rather put up with a heat every few months than continue to endure this physical torment. He has to find a way to bear with it somehow, even if it's not the best solution and he actually wanted to avoid upcoming heats.

"I'll then suspend the suppressants," he says, nodding, and the doctor is already typing on his keyboard. Shortly thereafter, Louis holds the prescription in his hands with the best wishes from the doctor and immediately fetches the pills from the pharmacy across the street.

∰

In the evening Louis is nesting. The need had been there for the past few days, but after today's eventful day, he couldn't resist any longer. In desperation, he even took out all of Ed's old shirts that he had packed airtight and put them in the nest with him. He doesn't care if they all lose their scent, he needs them more than anything now. Louis built the nest in the living room in the small corner by the fireplace, because the niche gives his stressed Omega security. There are many blankets on the floor and serve as a soft base, all the pillows that Louis could find in the apartment are spread out all around and make it look nice, tight and safe. Louis has put on an old sweater from Ed, which unfortunately no longer has a scent, but it still makes him feel closer to him. Standing in front of his nest and looking at it with satisfaction, he takes a photo of Ed and him standing on the windowsill, climbs into the nest and breathes in the scent that envelops him with relief as he snuggles into the shirts. He has already swallowed one of the pills and his itching and pain is not completely gone but is getting better, so he can now enjoy his nest as he closes his eyes and the smell and soft materials calm his mind. He slowly drifts into a sleep where he dreams of Ed cuddling up to him in the nest and telling him to let go. That he will always be with him but he has to live his life without him. Live and not just get through day after day.

When he wakes up the next morning and remembers it, he sits up in shock. It felt too real and he had to blink a few times to understand that Ed wasn't really there with him - he just dreamed it. Especially since he can't follow Dream-Ed's advice because Louis just doesn't know how. Desperate tears find their way out of his eyes and sobbing, he presses his nose into the shirts he holds balled up in front of his chest. So he spends the next few hours in his nest, just getting something to eat in the kitchen and returning immediately. His shift in the bookstore doesn't start until midday, so he has enough time to bathe in his misery before he has to put on a friendly face in front of customers again.

∰

When he comes home in the evening, he collapses exhausted on the sofa and looks at his nest emotionlessly. The dream kept him busy all day every time he came to rest for a moment in the shop. Ed's encouraging look played out in his thoughts with which he looked at him in the dream and his words echoing through him. Louis always reminded himself that it was only a dream when a new customer stood in front of him and he had to work. Nothing to think about for that long. 

How do you let go of something you loved so much? Does the pain of loss really get any better? Does time really heal all wounds as everyone says? For Louis, at least, it doesn't feel like it. Deep in his thoughts, he doesn't even notice that he's started itching again, which has almost become normal in the meantime. But as the pain gets worse the longer he scratches his skin, he suddenly looks down, startled, and goes to the kitchen, where he quickly washes down his pill with a glass of water. On the way back to the living room, his gaze suddenly stops at the answering machine on the commode, which announces a new message.

He presses the button to play it and his body stiffens the longer he listens to the message.

"This is the brokerage office, unfortunately I could not reach you personally. I just wanted to let you know that your holiday home has been sold. We had only a few properties that have sold as quickly as yours. We will pay the money from the sale into your account as soon as the buyer transfers it to us."

So now it is reality. The realization of his decision only hits him fully at this moment and he has to swallow a few times in order not to burst into tears again. But it's good on the other side. Now someone else can find a retreat in it and spend quality time there. Otherwise it would only have rotted over the years and that would have hit Louis at least as hard as saying goodbye to a piece of earth and a house in which he felt so comfortable. 

Everything in life has its time as it seems, one longer and the other far too short.

To be silent, to talk. Alone and in pairs. To cry and to laugh. To lose and find. To arise and to pass away. And sometimes go blind and still see clearly. It’s the beginning and the end at the same time. And Louis no longer knows at all where in his life he actually is. Like in a free fall, without having his mate with him who anchored him, held him tight and persuaded him.

As small as he feels right now, so damn lonely, he snuggles into his nest and lies awake in there for most of the night, staring at the darkness.

Chapter Text

His stress levels are through the roof again as he stands tense in front of the large window of his top floor office and looks down on the busy streets. Sighing, he rubs his eyes and tries to shake off his tension, but it doesn't work and so he falls back onto his office chair to look at the latest designs from a promising new designer. But again and again he catches himself staring into space instead of really looking at the designs. Harry is burned out. His life involves nothing other than his job where he appears first in the morning before everyone else and leaves last at night. There is no partner waiting for him at home, he only sees his family on holidays and he hardly has any friends because he never has time to cultivate friendships anyway. It's a lonely life and he's only now realizing that, as he's getting older and since the flame that burned for his dream job is getting smaller and smaller.

Harry is the CEO of one of the most famous brands 'Canyon Moon' and has worked his way up to this position since his studies with diligence, a nose for new designers and many overtime hours. Even as a little boy he was interested in clothes, played with patterns and colors and at first his parents always thought he would present himself as an Omega. The surprise was great when he turned out to be an Alpha instead, but Harry couldn't care less. He's not interested in stereotypes and generally hasn't felt the need for a mate. Partners, friendships, family - all this only distracted from his goal. But now, shortly before his 30th birthday and the many years of hard work, he suddenly realizes that something is missing. That his work doesn't fulfill him.

Since he can't concentrate under these circumstances anyway, he puts the drafts aside and instead looks for relaxation possibilities on his pc. Harry has absolutely no idea what other people do to relax, it just wasn't an option for him. Frowning, his gaze flies over the search results, but nothing is something that speaks to him directly. Harry is restless when he's not working, which is why he used to sit in the office until he was exhausted and when he got home he always fell straight into bed. Therefore, he cannot imagine lying still on a massage table or sweating in a sauna when he knows how many tasks still await him in the office. But Harry has to change something, he feels more and more exhausted every day and how his concentration is fading. Maybe a long vacation is enough? But neither can he imagine lying by the pool of a hotel with families and children screaming loudly or couples in love. Harry actually needs absolute silence. And he has money, lots of money. 

The idea of his own small holiday home comes to him like a bolt of lightning and his fingers literally fly over the keyboard. For the next hour he combs through various broker websites and has finally shortlisted two properties. He keeps comparing both from the pictures of the house, searches for the locations and thinks about what would suit him better. But one criterion is decisive - one of the houses will be sold complete with inventory. Less work for him and saves time, because Harry doesn't have that. So he doesn't have to run through furniture stores or renovate, it seems perfect and the pictures look so inviting that he doesn't even want to see it for real. He senses that this vacation home on Lake Tahoe will be his sanctuary, where he hopes to rest and recharge his batteries. Suddenly there is new energy in him, something he has been looking forward to for a long time and so he doesn't wait a second longer. He picks up the phone and calls the agent of the holiday home.

When he hangs up, he can hardly believe his luck. The holiday home just got in yesterday and he can come this afternoon to sign the purchase contract. It almost seems like this house was about to fall into his hands, like it's his salvation from the hamster wheel of his life.

∰

He comes home late in the evening with the signed contract, the door key for the new holiday home and in a damn good mood. Humming and with a smile on his face, he prepares himself a meal and then falls into bed freshly showered. Now that he knows that tomorrow he will submit his vacation application for a full four weeks, after he has not yet taken one of his days off this year, the joy and relief about the upcoming break is increasing by the minute.

He decides to take full advantage of these four weeks to recharge his batteries and maybe reorient his future. What is important to him now? What does he still want to achieve or not? Is it time to settle down, find a partner and maybe even start a family? What is he longing for? Harry doesn't have the answers yet, but has a feeling he'll find them in the quiet and solitude. He feels in his heart that this step is important and right.

With one last look at the key on his bedside table, he turns off the light and, for the first time in a long time, falls asleep with a smile on his face.

The next morning, full of energy, he reaches his company, which he again enters first. The hallways are still silent, the offices empty and no mumbling or telephone rings can be heard. He walks quickly to his office and gets to work straight away. First he fills out his leave form, then he sorts documents, writes to-do lists for his replacement during this time and works through everything that can no longer be postponed or that no one else can decide but him, until the afternoon. Before he finishes work, he instructs his representative in everything. John is a blonde Omega who seems to have always wanted more from him and doesn't hold back with his flirting. Today, however, he wears a pout on his face and the smell of disappointment at Harry's several week absence. But John was never someone who would have interested him, not even when he was close to his rut and was needy. No Omega or Beta has ever interested him to be honest and at times Harry has wondered if there is something wrong with him. So far he has lived out all his ruts alone and the fact that he is also a virgin does not bother him very much. The only important thing was that his grades were the best, his studies were successful and he was steadily climbing the career ladder.

And so he says goodbye to John and his other colleagues with a smile and comes home from work earlier than usual. To celebrate the day, he opens a bottle of red wine, pours himself a glass and puts on one of the records from his large vinyl collection.

"Cheers," he toasts to himself, taking a long gulp but putting the glass down and making his way to his bedroom, where he reaches for the largest suitcase that's on top of his closet. As he moves his hips to the music that echoes from the living room, he packs his clothes and utensils that he needs for the several-week break. He will leave very early tomorrow so as not to waste a day. In addition, he does not know whether the condition of the holiday home is really as shown in the pictures and what else he has to do. After he thinks he's packed everything, he lets himself fall onto the sofa with his bottle of red wine and the glass. He listens to the music with his eyes closed and realizes once again how much he needs this vacation, how the relief about the free time literally seeps through every pore of his body.

∰

The next morning he wakes up with a slight headache, caused by the bottle of wine he drank all of last night. But curiosity about what awaits him at his destination overwhelms him. After taking a shower, turning off all the lights and loading his suitcase in the car, he sets off straight away. The sun has just risen and casts a soft light over the still fairly empty highways. It's a three-hour drive that he fills with his favorite music, singing along loudly or drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. The closer he gets to the lake, the more the landscape changes. It becomes hilly and the road is fenced by fir trees. Harry feels like he is in another world and breathes deeply in and out, noticing how the tension is falling from him with every passing mile. His navigation tells him that he's about to reach his destination and drives his car along a narrow, bumpy forest path until the house finally appears. When he parks in front of it, he can't believe how beautiful this piece of land is. The holiday home is built of wood and large stones and is immediately inviting, romantic and even more beautiful than in the pictures. The blue water of the lake and the large stones on the shore only underline the flair. But the absolute silence is what really pauses Harry as he gets out of the car and takes in his surroundings. Only the sound of the wind blowing through the trees and the gentle noise of the lake can be heard, as well as his footsteps as he approaches his new holiday home. He fishes the key out of his pocket and slowly unlocks the door. When he enters, he stops for a moment in the middle of the large living room, which is directly connected to the hallway. The previous owner really left everything behind. He has already seen two jackets hanging in the hallway, but the living room is in another league. It's almost as if he's invading these people's privacy and has them standing behind him at every moment. 

Pictures stand above the large stone-built fireplace and Harry steps closer curiously. He picks one up and his breath catches. Both of the men are attractive, but he is drawn to the smaller of the two and can't take his eyes off of him. A bright smile, blue eyes that are the same color as the lake outside, and a delicate build make Harry's guts clench and he doesn't even know why. When he puts it back after looking at it for a long time, he looks at the other pictures. The two men look younger in some pictures, but one thing is always visible - the love between the two. In every picture huddled together and with a big smile on their face or kissing. Harry is almost jealous because he wishes for something like that too. At this moment, with the images of a happy relationship in front of him, he becomes fully aware of it, almost as if someone had pulled a veil from his eyes. He stands frozen in front of the fireplace and just can't turn away. His gaze keeps looking for the man with the blue eyes, who is definitely an Omega in terms of build and height. He is perfect. And definitely not available for anyone other than the Alpha or the Beta in the pictures.

Harry wonders why anyone would leave all their belongings behind. Clothes, pictures, furniture, memories - everything. Did the two split up? What else would let someone lead to that step? If Harry had such a happy relationship as it appears in the pictures and a holiday home like this - he would never sell it and all its contents. Frowning, he finally turns away from the fireplace and slowly continues to roam through the house. Everything is left tidy, only the dust on the furniture shows that nobody has been here for a long time. The sofa looks cozy, lots of cushions adorn it and a wool blanket lies over the armrest. A large TV hangs on the wall and Harry knows he'll be relaxing here tonight with a fire in the fireplace. The kitchen is also fully equipped, and there are still cans of food and a bottle of wine in the cupboards. Pleased, Harry notes that it's one of his favorite brands and puts it on the worktop to open it later. Then he goes on to the upper floor and first enters the bathroom, which is just as rustic but tasteful as the rest of the house. He finds perfume bottles, toothbrushes and other toiletries in the cupboards and has to swallow. He doesn't even know why it hits him like this, but his heart tightens because he sees here fragments of a life that is not his. What happened to the couple? He can hardly stop thinking about it and he wonders if he should call the real estate agent to ask if it was really desired that they leave all private things behind. And if she knows why the couple made this decision.

Sighing, he leaves the bathroom and goes into one of the two remaining rooms. This seems like a guest room as it is smaller than all the others and only has a single bed, a chair and a closet. It's also the only room that seems more impersonal than all the others and he moves on to the last room. The bedroom. And he stands in front of the closed door for a long time, not knowing what awaits him in here. But then he finally pulls himself together and slowly opens the door. His gaze immediately falls on a large bed with two bedside tables on each side. A huge black and white picture of the two men hangs over the bed, which only further underscores the beauty of the Omega. The two of them smile cheek to cheek and it's a close-up. He knows that he has to remove all the pictures, and above all this big one, first of all. How else is he supposed to find rest here? At the moment his thoughts are just about the story of the two and why they don't want to come here anymore. Maybe there is nothing behind it and they have just looked for a new holiday home. Harry literally shakes off his thoughts and steps in front of the large wardrobe. When he opens it he finds some clothes inside, probably only the bare essentials and a small spare for when they were here. Harry can't resist pulling out some of the sweaters and shirts. One pile is definitely from the Omega because the clothes are much smaller than the other pile. Curious, he holds it to his nose, can't help but hope that some of the Omega's smell lingers in it, but unfortunately it only smells of detergent and almost frustrated he folds the clothes neatly and puts them back in the closet. 

Thinking about what to do first, he decides to walk the house again to see if the couple have stored empty boxes to put their personal belongings in. But no matter where he looks, he finds nothing. And so he simply decides to store all his things in the guest room until he comes to the nearest town in the next few days to bring boxes with him, because shopping for groceries is urgently needed for his stay here. In the living room he stacks the picture frames from the fireplace and takes them upstairs to the guest room where he lays them gently on the bed. Next he hangs off the big picture over the bed and clears the clothes of the two from the closet. Everything he finds in the next few hours he puts neatly on the bed, which is completely filled at the end. So that's what's left of a life, or at least when you leave a vacation home with your belongings. Harry becomes painfully aware that it would look the same if someone else had to clean out his apartment now. But all the money in the world can't buy you a relationship like that of the two, which in the end it's what matters in life. To have loved and to be loved, to share memories with someone, someone who can tell what kind of person he was. Harry doesn't have anyone other than his family who could do that. And even these could only tell about childhood because after that they can only tell about his career. Harry himself doesn't even know what makes him special. He is goal oriented. And further? Harry doesn't even know what it feels like to love or live a life away from work. Pathetic. Just pathetic. Harry is mad at himself for denying himself all this over the last years and decides to have a serious conversation with himself tonight when he ends the day in peace and quiet on the sofa.

To distract himself from his thoughts, he starts making fresh linen on the bed, although it looks fresh, but Harry feels better that way. Then he dusts the whole house, opens the windows and lets in the wonderfully fresh air. It's already getting dark outside and while he's heating a can of soup on the stove he goes outside. He stands on the porch with his hands in his pockets and lets his gaze wander over the lake, the mountains and the trees. It's peaceful here, so quiet thanks to the fact that his thoughts are so loud and he can hardly contain them. As he turns to the front door to look inside for his soup, his gaze falls on the mailbox hanging next to the door. He lifts the lid, peeks in through the slit, and gasps as he sees how full it is. There is a small box hanging in the hallway and he assumes that the key for the mailbox is hanging there. And indeed he finds a small one in it and hurries back outside with it. He slowly opens the mailbox and has to catch the many letters that are already falling towards him.

He stacks them one after the other and puts the package on the living room table where he wants to look through them right away. But first he looks for his soup, fills a plate with it and then hurries back to the living room. While he's eating a spoonful of soup again and again, he looks through the outside of each letter one by one and finds that it's always the same sender. Louis Tomlinson. Harry wonders why this Louis is sending so many letters to a holiday home. Should he open it? Maybe it's something important and the previous owner should be informed about the letters? Harry doesn't want to invade privacy any further, even though it's his house now, but the feeling that he's an intruder hasn't been shaken off yet. But he can't contain his curiosity, it really burns under his fingers to read the letters and to relieve his tension he quickly fetches the bottle of wine and a glass. After downing a glass, he takes the letters and lays them on the sofa next to him and makes himself comfortable. Then he opens them all and sees that each one has a date on it. Before he even reads a word, he first sorts them all by date and then starts reading the first one from a year ago. Halfway through the letter, Harry himself is close to tears and swallows hard. This man has lost his mate and the pain of desperation is just dripping from every syllable. Harry takes another long sip of his wine, his eyes already swollen with tears that he can‘t hold back anymore. And an understanding sets in within him. One of the men from the many pictures in the house has died and the other has been sending letters to a dead partner in his grief. Which of the two died? He can't figure it out and while Harry knows neither of them deserve a death, he hopes it isn't the Omega with the most beautiful blue eyes in the world. Harry understands better and better why the partner sold this without wanting to come back. If he had loved as written in the letters, he would not have been able to return to this place either. 

Harry has only two letters left and smooths out the page on the next-to-last one. With a deep breath, he braces himself for what is waiting heartbreakingly written there and begins to read.

My dear Ed,

I know that if it was up to you, you would never have left me alone behind.

There's no other way, because I know how much you loved me and I prayed to the gods to let you stay.

All of my memories ease the pain inside, keep you near and let me imagine you by my side.

I cry silent tears so often, even though I know that you wouldn't have wanted it. I often hear your voice scolding me. Your silent whispers which made me promise I'd try. To find my way back in this life and I can only hope that there is a way. My heart only ever beats for you and reminds me again it was worth it all. I was allowed to love you and you loved me like no other.

When we’re together in all my dreams, I see your smile. All the memories I hold dear.

Babe, you know I will love you till the end of time. I hope so much that we will meet again when I die and you will welcome me with open arms. That's the only thing keeping me going on.

Your Louis

Harry can hardly stand it any longer and is grateful that he only has one letter left in front of him. Of course he could have stopped reading long ago, but he can't stop himself from doing so and literally bathes in a pain that isn't his.

The date of the last letter is not that long ago, just a few days before he bought the cottage. And with this one he finds out that it wasn't the little Omega who died, because the touch deprivation suggests that he is the one writing these letters. Although he doesn't know him and has never felt anything like this before, he has to realize that he wants to embrace this man. Wants to protect him from the pain he feels, wants to make him whole again. And without thinking about it further, he looks through all the drawers in the living room until he finds paper and pen and begins to write him a letter as well. Louis, this beautiful man with the radiant smile, is to receive a letter in return that may take some of his sadness away.

Chapter Text

For the past few days, Louis has had recurring dreams about Ed and each one feels so real that he wakes up in the morning only to find out again that he is not actually with him but has died. It's exasperating, because he doesn't want to have to go through this pain and longing again every morning. For the first time since his death, Louis feels ready to really put some distance to closure. He will never forget him anyway, but he has to heal and the certainty about it leaves him with a guilty conscience. Louis remembers his last letter asking for a sign and wonders if the dreams are signs or he is just slowly losing his mind? Or are they side effects from the pills for his touch deprivation? Which has gotten better since he started taking the pills. At least from the physical point of view. He cannot speak of his mental state, because Louis feels the dark thoughts increasing and he slips further and further into his depressive hole. So today he decides to call his best friend and ask for a cuddle again, even though he hates it. He hates being so helpless, he hates being touched by anyone other than Ed, he hates how his body reacts to it despite everything and he hates being dependent on it in the first place. That Ed is no longer there to stroke him, hold him in his arms and kiss his lips sore. And he also hates it, knowing that his thoughts have been going in circles for a year and that he finally really has to say goodbye. The first step was selling the house, but what is the next step? Should he start dating other people again? Just the thought of it makes him shake and wrinkle his nose, but then he remembers how every night Dream-Ed downright preaches that he should let go, he doesn't want Louis to suffer so much and he always hugs him tight when Dream-Louis desperately clutching to him.

Frustrated, he weary prepares himself breakfast while he calls his friend, explains the situation to him and they set up a meeting for tonight after his shift.

∰

When he comes home, Matt is already waiting for him in front of the door. He's two heads taller than Louis, muscular, and a handsome Alpha with a nice face. With a tiered smile, he unlocks the door and invites him in.

"You look exhausted Louis," Matt says softly, his eyes showing the concern he has for him.

"Thanks for the compliment Matt, nice to see you too," Louis jokes sarcastically.

"I didn't mean anything bad," Matt replies quickly and before Louis knows, he's already pulled him into a hug and is holding him tight. He slowly walks with him to the sofa where he falls on it and pulls Louis with him onto his lap.

"Is that okay?" Matt asks quietly and Louis nods. It's actually anything but okay - as always he can't stand his best friend's smell, even if he otherwise likes him so much. But Louis decided to really try to let go and get on with his life halfway normal and maybe even happily at some point. And so he closes his eyes and tries to relax his body on the Alpha, to accept the cuddle and what it brings with it.

“I want to try to get over Ed. But I don't know how, Matt,” Louis mumbles after a while while Matt rubs his back up and down again and again.

"Don't pressure yourself so much, Louis. Maybe you should go out again. You've been doing nothing for a year but going to work or staying at home,” Matt replies, hugging him tighter.

"But then I end up comparing each person to Ed. I don't even know what to say to people in general. Strangers are starting to scare me now, I'll have to tell them my story and-"

Louis definitely gets into it and Matt senses it immediately and cuts him off.

"Stop! You're overthinking it way too much! You don't have to tell everyone your story right away. I want you to make new friends and have a social life again.”

Sighing, Louis straightens up a bit and looks at Matt seriously, "You're right. Thanks."

Without another word, the two fall back into their previous positions and Louis lies on Matt’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. The physical contact is definitely good and without noticing it he begins to draw circles with his index finger on Matt‘s chest, wiggles his hips on his lap to get a little more comfortably on the big body. 

"Louis," Matt hisses at some point and he looks up startled.

"What is it?" he asks in surprise and lifts his head to search his gaze.

"I'm only a man, and while you're my best friend, I've always loved your smell. If you keep stroking me so gently, then…” he says softly and points his eyes down to his groin.

Horrified, Louis crawls off his lap and jumps up off the sofa, blushing so much he can feel the warmth on his face.

"Go!" Louis yells and can't believe what he just heard. It really puts him in a panic that Matt finds him attractive and pushes the cuddle from something necessary and innocent towards sexual. Louis cannot and does not want to deal with it.

"I'm sorry," Matt whispers, but he complies with Louis' request immediately and leaves the apartment with a last apologetic look.

When he's alone, he bursts into tears and burrows himself into his nest, which he hasn't cleared away since last time. But this time it takes a long time until he calms down and the nest starts to give him comfort. The tears run a long time down his cheeks and Louis realizes that he can never ask Matt for this favor again. Under no circumstances does he ever want to hear those words from his best friend's mouth again. And he has even less desire to go out after the incident. He doesn't want to arouse anyone with his scent, or have to fight off other Alphas' advances. It's best if he just carries on as before and at this moment he doesn't care whether he leads a bleak life or what Dream-Ed wants or what seems to be best. Louis is angry and desperate.

∰

Today he had the morning shift at the bookstore and took himself a new copy of his favorite author to spend the upcoming weekend reading. In the supermarket he stocked up on sweets and alcohol to make himself comfortable with all the things in his nest.

The bag with his purchases in one hand, he rummages in his trouser pocket with the other for his bunch of keys to unlock the door of the house and then checks his mailbox. He carelessly grabs the three letters that are inside and makes his way up the stairs to his apartment door. Inside, he puts the bottle of wine and the candy next to his nest, throws in the book and the letters, and then gets a wine glass from the kitchen. He quickly puts on comfortable and soft clothes and falls contentedly into his nest where he lies on his back for a moment and stares at the ceiling.

This weekend he won't overthink it, he'll delve into the book and switch off. At least that was his plan. But when he sits up and looks through the letters, everything is forgotten. The first two were just invoices, but the third made him gasp at the sender's address. It's from a Harry Styles and the address is that of the cottage. And then suddenly everything becomes clear to him. Someone found his letters and probably read them too. How could he have been so stupid not to take that into account when selling? Why couldn't he go there one last time and at least get the letters out of the mailbox?

With a wildly racing heart and trembling hands, he finally opens the envelope and pulls out the note. He takes a deep breath and begins to read.

Hello Louis,

You will be surprised to receive a letter from a stranger. I’m the buyer of your house and have found your letters... and read them. First I want to apologize to you because none of the letters were for me. But I thought that it might be important information and would have forwarded it to the estate agent so that they would have found their way to you. I hope you will forgive me and I’m so very sorry about what happened to you. Unknown, I offer you my deepest condolences. I don't have a mate myself and can only imagine how difficult it must be to lose your partner. Believe me, I've cried over your letters and I don't even know you. Although I have the feeling that I've become acquainted with you a bit. There were so many pictures of you in the house and your clothes, but I'm sure you know that. Do you really want none of that back? I've saved them all and can get the things to you. Or you can come pick them up, I'll be here for another four weeks and you're always welcome.

The reason I'm actually writing to you is because I wanted to tell you that life will definitely have something nice in store for you. I am currently in a crisis as well and am reorganizing myself in this beautiful corner of the world. And I firmly believe that we don't have to get stuck in our situation, but that we have the power to change something. You're not alone Louis, many people are struggling and if you want I'll give you my hand and we can rediscover the beautiful things in life together. I'm probably too pushy with my letter and you haven't even read this far. Which I can understand, because when I think about it, it's weird to read a stranger's letters and then reply to them. My apologies to you once again, Louis. Please don't think I'm a stalker or that I want to offend you. Actually I just wanted to let you know how much I feel for you and that I hope that one day you can get over the death of your mate and be happy again.

Harry

Louis read the letter through several more times and then put it down next to him while wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. His mind is racing and he has gotten nauseous. This Harry seems so nice in the letter and yet he has read his innermost thoughts and feelings. But he can't even blame him for it, because he bears it all by himself. He sold the holiday home and its inventory without even thinking about the buyer coming into contact with everything private that the house contains. Maybe he really should go back and pick up the things. What if Harry throws them in the trash after a while? Why hadn't the thought occurred to him earlier? How could he ever think he would deal with knowing that Ed's clothes, his belongings and all their pictures were rotting in a landfill? Louis is the worst mate under the sun and he starts crying and getting so worked up about it that the itching starts again despite the pills. He starts scratching his arms and legs angrily and tells himself that he doesn't deserve anything else. He's a mess just like his life. And again dark thoughts come to him that he would rather have died. Then he wouldn't have to endure all this. While he keeps scratching himself vigorously with one hand, he puts the bottle of wine to his mouth with only one goal in mind - get drunk quickly, fall asleep and forget.

∰

The next day he wakes up with a headache and in the same bad mood as last night. His breakfast is the chocolate bar next to his nest and he doesn't care that it's anything but healthy. Dream-Ed visited him again tonight and encouraged him to reply to the letter. Louis must have really lost his mind because not only does it seem so real, he actually listens to him. Ed was always his best advisor, friend and lover. They were perfect and Louis always looked up to him. On the one hand, of course, it is in his nature as an Omega, but even so, the opinion of the Alpha was always important to him and so, with a little hangover, he finally sits down at his desk, grumbling, and begins to write an answer to Harry's letter.

Hello Harry,

I don't even really know why I'm answering you or what to write. It feels weird that you read all of this and now you know more about me than I do about you. But one thing makes me happy - that the house has found a buyer who really seems to need it. I hope you find all the answers you search for. That you can live your life the way you want to. I don't have much hope for myself, but thank you for your words.

I'm actually considering to pick my stuff up and I'm sorry I didn't think about the impression it would make on the new owner when I sold it. It was almost a knee-jerk reaction to finally take this step because the memories I collected there with my mate were too painful to be revived by a visit. If I really decide to stop by, it would be nice if you could help me quickly load things into my car so I can leave the place right away.

I wish you a lot of joy in the holiday home and the great surroundings.

Louis

Without thinking about it further, he folds the letter and writes the address on the envelope. It's weird now to write Harry Styles as the addressee instead of Ed's name. After getting dressed, he puts the letter in the mailbox and rushes home to finally take his mind off everything and immerse himself in the book.

∰

"Mum, I need your advice," Louis calls into his phone the moment Jay picks up.

"Hello to you too, Louis," she laughs, but Louis has been so nervous since Harry's letter that he doesn't want to elaborate further.

“I wrote letters to Ed and mailed them to our vacation home. What I just recently sold along with inventory. And the new buyer replied to me and offered to pick up our personal belongings. Should I do it?” he quickly explains in one breath, waiting impatiently for his mother's answer.

"I think you should go. To make peace with it,” his mother replies thoughtfully and Louis takes deep breaths as he nervously paces his apartment.

"What if the new buyer is a killer?" Louis asks, shaking his head at himself. 

"I don't think so. If he were a murderer he wouldn't have sent a letter but already visited you,” she replies jokingly and Louis sees her grin in front of him.

"You're probably right. Okay, well...wow, I'm actually going there again, huh?"

"That's your decision but I think it would be good for the grieving process," his mother points out and even though she can't see it he nods.

"Yeah maybe," he whispers.

"How are you actually Louis? You hardly let yourself be seen anymore,” Jay asks and he hears the slight reproach in her voice.

"Not very well to be honest. I have symptoms of touch deprivation but keep it at bay with pills.”

Louis' mother then asks him to take care of himself and suggests that he should consider therapy to learn how to deal better with the grief. But Louis no longer really listens, instead his thoughts only revolve around the forthcoming trip to the holiday home and the fears rising in him. He has absolutely no idea what the place is going to do to him.

The two hang up some time later after Louis only half-heartedly answers and his mother probably loses the nerve to keep a conversation alive on her own.

And so his weekend goes by, again and again he pauses briefly while reading his book when the thoughts interrupt him again whether it is really the right decision to drive to Lake Tahoe. He is grateful when he can go back to work on Monday and is distracted from his restlessness by the many customers. But they come back with a vengeance in the evening when he discovers another letter from Harry in his mailbox.

This time his heart isn't beating as fast as the first time and he carefully opens it.

Hi Louis,

Thanks for your letter and for not seeming too upset that I ignored your privacy. Also, your kind wishes touched me very much. I don't know why, but I feel like I want to help and comfort you and if you really come here I ask you to tell me immediately if I make you uncomfortable. I don't know this side of myself which has to do with my general lifestyle. There was never time to worry about anyone other than my work. These lines sound so offensive again. You're a stranger, it must be weird for you to read something like that. Even I find it strange to write something like that. But I've seen your face and your kind smile in the pictures in contrast to your sad letters. And I don't think many have seen your smile since your mate died. Maybe I'm wrong with my assumption. And maybe I should just stop writing stuff like that. It's best if I just wrap up the letter before I tear it up and never send it.

Believe me, I'm really not a weirdo.

Sorry!

Harry

Louis has to chuckle, he doesn't know what Harry looks like, but he finds his train of thought and the way he phrases it amusing. With a grin on his face, he refolds the paper and puts it back in the envelope. Then he remembers Matt‘s advice to go out again and his mother's answer that he should take the step for closure. And maybe Harry and his letters are a sign of Ed after all. Maybe it's a good mix of both. Although Louis does not go out and is surrounded by many people, he gets to know Harry in real life. Even if it's just for a brief moment while he's loading the shared things into his car. But it's a start and Louis decides to go there first thing tomorrow before he changes his mind. He quickly calls his boss and asks for a short-term vacation. Because he is almost never missing, he gives him this immediately for a full two weeks. Although Louis only plans to drive there and then head straight back home, a few days off will definitely do him good. He wants to visit his family and focus on how he can finally come to terms with Ed's death.

He packs a small duffel bag with his birth control and touch deprivation pills, some clothes in case he's going straight to his family from there, and one of Ed's last shirts that still has some of his scent on it.

The next morning he sits in his car with mixed feelings. The tension grows the closer he gets to the holiday home and once again his skin starts to itch. Which is the worst because he has to concentrate on driving. He tries with all his might to calm himself down, to distract himself with loud music, so that his Omega is no longer under high tension despite the pills. But it's hardly of any use. The last half-hour drive is absolutely horrific and Louis steps on the gas so that he can finally itch as he parks the car in front of the holiday home. He follows the urge immediately, his fingernails literally flying over his skin that he can reach so that he doesn't notice how Harry is already looking at him on the porch with a fond expression on his face.

Chapter Text

Harry hears the sound of an approaching car right in the quiet of his surroundings and hopes it can only mean one thing: that the handsome Omega from the pictures is going to be in front of him in real life. And as he steps out onto the porch, he can't help but smile because the visitor is really Louis. But he doesn't get out of the car straight away - he can watch the other man moving frantically in the car and it almost looks like he's scratching himself furiously. Harry can't see it clearly due to the distance and the reflection of the windscreen but remembers one of the letters from Louis in which he wrote about his struggles with touch deprivation. He considers whether he should wait here or approach him, but decides not to take Louis by surprise. Even if he can hardly wait to finally see this man up close, he has rarely felt such a tingling in his stomach from curiosity and joy.

Finally the door opens and it's almost magical how their eyes meet and neither of them moves. Louis is standing there between the car and the car door and a light breeze is blowing through his hair. Harry takes a deep breath and has to stop himself from running towards him. Louis slowly approaches him and Harry takes in his whole form. The hips that move sensually with every step, the narrow waist and the blue eyes that look at him anxiously. Suddenly, a breeze of caramel gets to him and Harry catches his breath. Just like Louis, whose gasping he can hear and who stands frozen. Harry is still busy realizing how damn beautiful this Omega is, when he already rolls his eyes back and collapses in front of him. Startled, Harry immediately runs the last few steps towards him and leans his head close to his face to hear if he's still breathing and shakes him slightly. Getting so close to him, he can perceive the sweet smell of him even more and it soon clouds Harry's senses. But in addition to his sweet scent, he can now also smell a trace of panic and as Louis still shows no reaction, the situation only allows one guess: Louis has dropped. But what made him do it?

"Louis? Hey...can you hear me? Wake up,” Harry yells over and over again, unable to shake the protectiveness that washes through him and the urge to hold him close. He's experiencing something like this for the first time and doesn't know exactly what to do, but he listens to his intuition. And that tells him to hold the Omega close to him, not to leave his side. To care for him. 

"If you hear me, don't be alarmed. I'll take you in my arms now and bring you inside. Everything will be fine, little Omega. I'm with you,” he whispers softly and takes Louis in his arms, touching him as gently as if he were made of fragile material. He can't help but look down at his pretty face as he slowly carries him in. Only when he has arrived in the living room does he stop and look around helplessly. But the room doesn't feel right, and Harry realizes how much his Alpha is taking over his mind. He hugs Louis tighter and takes him up the stairs to his bedroom. There he carefully lays the motionless figure down on the bed, pulls the clothes off his own body until he's only standing there in his underpants and then sets to work gently pulling Louis' clothes off his body as well. His mind is screaming at him that he can't just undress a complete stranger down to his underpants, but his Alpha gets the upper hand more and more until the small voice in his head finally disappears completely. His Alpha knows the Omega needs physical contact now, skin to skin, so he doesn't let a second too much go by before he's lying next to Louis. He pulls him close in his arm as he spreads the covers over both of them and repositions him in comfort once more.

Harry is lying on his side with Louis pressed close to him and wrapped in both arms. His leg is over Louis' and Harry buries his nose in his hair. His Alpha is so content that he's about to rumble and inhales the scent of caramel like a drug. Soon their scents mix and pride swells up in his chest. Harry is out of his mind and he has only one goal: to comfort this Omega who is so in need that he dropped, to hold him and preferably never to let go. The physical closeness feels so good and right. Their bare skin together, Louis‘ so much softer than his own, and two bodies that nestle together so perfectly despite the difference in size. Again and again he looks down at the pretty face, taking in every little detail. The long eyelashes that lie softly on his cheeks, the small birthmarks that form a triangle on his cheek, the fine stubble and no picture he has seen of him before does justice to reality. Harry doesn't know how long they've been lying there, how many hours have passed, but it must have been a long time because it's already starting to get dark outside. He'd nodded off himself in between, only to hug Louis tighter again and gently stroke his arm up and down when he woke up again.

Suddenly, Louis begins to move slightly in his arms, wrinkling his nose while a soft smile plays on his lips but without opening his eyes. Harry literally melts at the sight and while the Omega then sighs quietly and presses his nose into his chest he can't help but kiss the soft hair. For him, perfection took shape in the form of Louis. As he thinks about how much the man in his arms has torn the ground from under his feet, hands suddenly press against his chest and he hears a gasp. Harry can't quite quickly realize what is happening, still too caught up in his role of care and protection, as Louis pushes away from him and stares at him with a startled look. He crawls to the other end of the bed and stares down at himself, realises the almost naked form of his own body only to focus his gaze back on Harry. Louis quickly grabs the covers and pulls them towards him, shielding himself from Harry's gaze.

"Don't worry Louis," Harry whispers, also sitting up in bed and reaching out his hand to him. But Louis only shakes his head and seems to have lost his voice. Without another word and wrapped in the blanket, he runs out of the room and Harry hears another door close loudly and a key turn. Harry immediately feels bad without Louis in his arms and quietly follows him. His Alpha is totally stressed out about not holding the Omega anymore, fearful that something might happen to him again, so vulnerable after the drop. He hears soft sobbing coming from the guest room and knocks on the door.

"Louis? I'm sorry, I just wanted to be there for you. You dropped before my eyes. I never meant to hurt you,” he says softly, hoping Louis hears him. His heart clenches for the Omega who certainly doesn't know how to feel. Now that he's coming more to his senses, Harry can't believe how he acted. He stripped a defenseless Omega down to his briefs and cuddled him at his late mate's house. Is he out of his mind? Louis must hate him now and he can‘t even blame him. But Harry couldn't resist, his Alpha knew what to do and made sure the Omega was safe.

"Can you please bring me my clothes. Put them in front of the door and…leave me alone,” he sobs softly from behind the door and Harry is sorry for every tear that Louis is now crying because of him. That was the last thing he wanted. In addition, Louis‘ voice sounds so sweet that he has the urge to take him in his arms again immediately.

"Yes of course," Harry says quickly, rushing into the bedroom to collect Louis's clothes that are lying on the floor. Back at the door of the guest room he puts it in front of the door and knocks again.

"I put them on the floor... um, I'll go down and get you something to eat. You must be hungry. When you're ready just come down. And again, I'm really sorry.”

Harry gets no answer, sighs and turns away from the door. In the bedroom, he dresses himself again and surreptitiously sniffs the bedclothes that carry the common smell. A huge swarm of butterflies flutters in his stomach and the feeling scares him. Is this what love feels like? Can you fall in love so quickly? That you can recognize your mate directly by its smell, which attracts you? Is that what he always hears people talking about when they say how magical it is when you find your mate? But can Louis even be his mate? Because he had already found his mate, who is no longer at his side because of the fatal accident. Otherwise he would never have had the chance to meet Louis. Confused by his emotions and thoughts, he slowly walks across the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen. Every step he gets further away from Louis feels wrong and his Alpha is difficult to suppress, urging him to take the Omega in his arms again. 

Harry grabs an apple and starts peeling it, but he's so upset he keeps stopping and straining to listen upstairs to see if he can hear anything from Louis. But nothing - and frowning, he prepares a plate of fruit, spreads sandwiches and makes tea for him. When he's done, he stands around helplessly in the kitchen and his tension grows by the minute. Again and again he runs his hand over his hair or his face and wishes for Louis. After such a short time he is already addicted to his closeness and when some time later he finally hears footsteps on the stairs, he literally rushes out of the kitchen and stops at the bottom of the stairs. Louis also remains on the step and they both look at each other again like the first time. It's so quiet, you could hear a pin drop to the floor and his heart is beating wildly in his chest. Louis' smell wafts towards him and he takes a deep breath while his gaze quickly sweeps over his body. Louis shrinks underneath, looking at the floor with red cheeks while starting to hug himself. Hesitantly, he walks down the last three flights of stairs and then quickly past Harry towards the living room. Harry follows him slowly and doesn't know if and what to say. Instead he watches as Louis slowly walks towards the chimney and stands there. His body begins to twitch and he hears a soft sniffle. Harry smells the sadness his scent carries and wishes he could comfort him. 

"You put the pictures away. I saw them in the guest room. It's nothing like it used to be," Louis finally says quietly and slowly turns to him. His eyes look at him so sadly that Harry feels his heart break in his chest.

"I'm sorry," Harry just murmurs and takes a few steps towards him but Louis stops him with an outstretched hand. Harry stops immediately and doesn't want to make the Omega uncomfortable under any circumstances.

"You don't have to be sorry, it's your home now. Of course you don't leave the pictures of a strangers couple standing," Louis sniffles and looks around the rest of the living room. The silence between the two of them is oppressive and uncomfortable and Louis' gaze flickers to him again and again - nervous, critical but also with something curious.

"How are you?" Harry asks, walking towards the sofa where he flops down. He is still so taken by the scent of caramel and the beauty of the other man that he can hardly concentrate on anything else. It's almost exhausting.

"Better," Louis says only, but Harry sees his hands shaking and nervously stroking his arms, which he scratches every now and then. "Can you help me load my stuff right away so I can drive back?"

But Harry shakes his head. Under no circumstances will he let Louis go now, his Alpha is literally roaring in his chest not to let him go, when he was so vulnerable just a few hours ago.

"No, you should stay here. It's already dark and you dropped. What if it happens to you again while driving?” Harry exclaims and Louis looks at him in shock. Startled by his own tone of voice that leaves no room for argument, he clears his throat and says more gently, "I didn't mean to be so loud, sorry. But my statement stands. Please stay here."

Louis sighs and averts his gaze, seeming to consider it and then finally says, "One night! Then I’ll drive to my family.”

Harry would whimper but got himself under control. He can't imagine ever letting that man leave his side again, his Alpha already too attached. 

"Okay. Are you hungry? I prepared you food. Come sit here,” he says quickly, patting the sofa next to him as he hurries to the kitchen without waiting for Louis to reply. He grabs the plate and a cup of tea and then goes straight back into the living room where Louis is already sitting on the sofa looking so lost. He puts the plate in his hand, the cup on the table and his Alpha takes over his actions again. He wants Louis to feel good and that he lacks nothing. Harry quickly grabs the woolen blanket and wraps it gently around Louis' shoulders, who watches him in confusion. Then he collects all the cushions from around the house and drapes them around Louis. Almost stressed out, he keeps pacing back and forth in the living room until he gets the idea to go upstairs and get Louis and his mate's clothes from the guest room. And a worn shirt of himself. He races back down the stairs and lays the clothes around him and his own worn shirt over Louis' lap, who lifts the plate in irritation when he realizes what Harry is up to.

"Are you building me a nest?" he asks in amazement and with a raised eyebrow, his cheeks blushing again.

Harry freezes and only now really looks at how engrossed Louis is sitting on the sofa and finally nods.

"Apparently? I, um, I don't know what's wrong with me. My Alpha has been taking over my thinking and acting ever since you've been here,” Harry stammers, afraid that he's only made things worse by building a nest. But instead he now sees how beautiful a smile can be on Louis' face. And he can't help but smile back. Neither of them break eye contact and Harry is so sure that he wants to spend his life with Louis. He wants to share everything with him, be there for him, hold him and love him. That man there is his partner but he doesn't know if he'll ever get the chance to call Louis his.

When Louis has finished eating, he puts the plate down and asks him in a low voice to sit on the sofa. Harry, of course, follows suit immediately, having trouble keeping a little distance and not pulling him close again. Instead, he stretches out his hand to Louis and he hesitantly takes it.

"Let's start again from the beginning. I'm Harry,” he whispers, losing himself completely in the blue of Louis' eyes again.

"And I'm Louis," he answers just as quietly and lets his gaze wander to the clasped hands where his eyes remain. Harry follows his gaze and has to swallow. Just this little physical contact makes a tingling flow through him and feels so damn good and right. 

"Are you angry that I took you to my bed earlier?" he asks cautiously and Louis loosens the grip of their hands.

"No, even if it was uncomfortable to wake up half-naked in the arms of a stranger. But I'm grateful to you for getting me out of my drop,” he replies, looking down. Louis is so shy and Harry is so fond of it, probably more than he should. 

"I know it wasn't right. But… it was what my instinct told me,” Harry murmurs.

Surprised, he sees how Louis puts his hand on his thigh and pats it soothingly.

"It's okay. Let's forget about the incident, okay?"

Harry can only nod, his gaze fixed on Louis, because he is speechless. With a crooked grin, Louis pulls his hand away and buries himself deeper into the blanket.

"Are you cold? Should I turn on the fireplace? Or get another blanket? Want some more warm tea?” Harry blurts out, making Louis chuckle softly. This sound is so cute that Harry has to hold himself back from pouncing on him and kissing him straight away. This attraction he has on him is hard to describe and requires so much willpower.

"Relax Harry, I have all I need. Tell me about yourself,” Louis asks him, turning a little more towards him while crossing his legs. 

“There isn't much to tell. I'm the CEO of a well-known clothing brand and I've sacrificed my life for my career so far. I was burned out and that's why I bought this vacation home. I have four weeks to find out whether I want to fill the rest of my life with work...or whether it has more to offer me," he replies and can't help but look deep into Louis' eyes during the last part. But Louis quickly averts his gaze and hastily runs his fingers through his fringe.

"Do I know the brand?" he asks without further addressing what Harry was implying.

"Probably, it's 'Canyon Moon'."

Louis then looks up and his jaw drops.

"Of course I know 'Canyon Moon'. Ed even had a sweater from it. He made good money as a surgeon and once used his Christmas bonus to treat himself to this sweater,” Louis says, his eyes getting sad.

"My middle name is Edward," Harry blurts, about to hit himself by doing so. What exactly is he trying to convey to Louis? What is this Omega doing to him?

Louis frowns at him, his eyes hold a questioning look, "Okay?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that was about," Harry murmurs in embarrassment and this time it's him who is looking down.

“Ed was actually short for Edward. He was a great mate,” Louis says quietly and once again the room falls silent. Harry has made everything so uncomfortable with his statement.

"Of course he was. You deserve only the best Louis," Harry breathes, giving up questioning what is going on. He's lost his mind - or his heart. Probably both.

"Thanks Harry, you're very nice to me."

Louis frees himself from his nest of clothes and pillows and stands up.

"Where are you going?" Harry asks, also getting up quickly and grabbing his hand. Surprisingly, Louis allows it and replies, "To bed. But now that I think about it...the bed in the guest room is full of our things. Can I sleep on the sofa?”

"No, you can take the bed. I sleep here,” Harry says, but Louis shakes his head.

"No! This is your house and I...um, don't want to take advantage of your hospitality any more."

"But I don't want you to sleep on the sofa. It's too uncomfortable and you're still weak after your drop!” Harry insists, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You Alphas with your pride and protectiveness," Louis giggles, rolling his eyes. "How about a compromise? We'll sleep together in your bed, but this time we'll keep our distance."

For Harry, this feels like a dream come true and he quickly nods in agreement, his curls bobbing wildly on his head.

"Okay. Come on then,” he replies, gently pulling Louis behind him, his hand still in his.

Each of the two goes to the bathroom one after the other and Louis puts on a pair of pajamas for the night from his clothes that are in the guest room. While Louis gives him shy looks as he snuggles under the covers, Harry can't help but stare at him, probably more than creepy, until he can finally tear himself out of his trance and slip under the covers on his side as well. They whisper a quiet "goodnight" to each other as Harry turns off the light. Louis falls asleep quickly, exhausted from his drop, but Harry lies awake all night watching him in the soft moonlight shining through the window. His Alpha found his Omega and he doesn't know what to do to keep him.

Chapter Text

It doesn't take long before the door opens and his mother pulls him right into her arms - only to push him away again the next moment and look at him with a raised brow.

"I'm glad you're visiting me so surprisingly, but what's that strong Alpha smell on you? I can hardly smell your own scent.”

Louis blushes at his mother's words and begins to nervously fiddle with the waistband of his sweater.

"I was with Harry, the new owner of the vacation home, and, um, I dropped right at my arrival," he says quietly, keeping his eyes down. His mother, an Omega herself, gasps and takes him inside in a sideways hug, leading him to the sofa.

Louis is silent as his mother's piercing gaze burns into him.

"Tell me everything that happened! How are you now? Shall I take you to a doctor?” she asks upset and puts a hand on his arm, he can recognize the motherly concern right in her scent. And Louis gets nauseous because if he says it out loud, it's going to be true. Everything he felt around Harry. The scent of sandalwood that made him drop, how good it felt to wake up in Harry's arms and the shock that he found an Alpha other than Ed more than attractive. What's more, he doesn't even know if he's ever been that attracted to Ed‘s smell from the first moment back then. 

"Mum, I don't know how to explain it... it feels so wrong. Like I'm cheating on Ed,” he murmurs, glancing sideways at his mother.

"What exactly do you mean?"

Jay looks at him with a serious expression, lets her gaze slide over his neck and his arms, which still bear the scratch marks.

"Harry took care of me when I dropped. I won't go into details, um, but it felt good. So right. His scent...Mum, I'm Ed's mate. How can I even remotely find another Alpha this attractive? He is so pretty, so gentle and took such good care of me the whole time. Harry even made a nest for me,” Louis says, tears welling up in his eyes. Because if he's honest with himself, he already misses him terribly.

"Oh my boy, maybe it would be good if you let another person get close to you again. You're so young and Ed wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life lonely,” she says softly, pulling him into her arms.

“One more thing… Yesterday I was still weak after the drop but today I feel so much better, I'm calmer inside and I don't have the urge to scratch anymore. Even the pills couldn't completely suppress the itching. Mom, what am I doing? I can't betray Ed like that, can I? But I want to see Harry again. Get to know him better. It's all so confusing,” Louis sobs, burying his face in her neck, breathing in his mother's scent like when he was a little child.

"You're not betraying Ed, darling. Would you wish he never found another partner if it was the other way around? On top of that, you don't even know what will develop from meeting Harry again,” she points out and Louis lets the words sink in.

"No, I wouldn't have wanted him to be as miserable as I am right now, even if I could never imagine him with any other man than me...but you're right. I loved him too much for that, still do. He would’ve deserved a happy life. And Mum, I don't think it would all just be friendship with Harry. Only the lightest touch made me tingle and his scent attracted me so much that I wanted to kiss him when I said goodbye this morning," Louis sighs and on the one hand it's good to talk about it, but on the other hand this realization is so damn painful.

The fact that he didn't even take Ed and himself's belongings with him to have an excuse to go back, speaks for itself but he doesn't want to think about it right now. His mother doesn't say anything about it, but hugs him a little tighter and Louis enjoys the physical contact and not having to explain himself further.

When his mother starts to prepare food for both of them, Louis sits on the sofa and thinks about the dreams of Ed. How he kept encouraging him there to let go - that it was okay and that they would see each other again one day. Maybe it was just wishful thinking or maybe they were signs of Ed. Did he send him Harry? And what a coincidence that he also has Edward as his middle name. All the brooding and the many confusing emotions give him a headache. He gets up with a sigh, goes to the kitchen and tells his mother that he wants to rest a little in his old room.

In his room he wants to reach for a pair of jogging pants in his travel bag when his eyes suddenly fall on an envelope. Hesitantly he reaches for it, holds his breath because it can only have been one person who put this here in his bag. Louis collapses onto the bed and stares at the letter for a long time, his mind and heart racing. He slowly opens it and takes out the note, unfolds it and begins to read.

Dear Louis,

I hope I haven't crossed a line by writing you this letter and putting it in your pocket while you sleep peacefully next to me. And I also hope that I don't offend you when I write to you about how beautiful you are. I could look at you for hours or days and never get tired of the sight. You are so lovable, so gentle and kind. I would give anything to get to know you better. But I probably don't have a chance, because your heart beats for another man and I can understand if you’d be happy that you don't have me around anymore. I'm worried about you and I can't help myself. It was so horrible when you passed out in front of me, when I saw your hands tremble or when you scratched yourself inconspicuously. I would give anything to be able to take this pain away from you, to hold you and to make sure that you are not missing anything. I've never felt attracted to anyone, you're the first man I want to be close with and that I could imagine more with. Your scent alone is stunning, but when our two mixed, it felt like pure bliss. Please don't be mad at me for writing all this. But if we never meet again, I want you to at least know how absolutely wonderful you are. I will always carry this short time with you in my heart and memories. You are unique Louis, never forget that.

Harry

His heart tightens, as does his throat, and he has to swallow a few times to blink away the tears in his eyes. Harry's letter released something in him that he's been trying to push back with all his might ever since. How can all of this feel so right and wrong at the same time? Louis can relate to Harry's words so well because he felt the exact same thing. And he knows if he takes the step and really sees Harry a second time, there's no turning back. His Omega hungers for the Alpha's strong arms, his scent, how he took care of him and how good it felt to be around him. Desperately, he runs his hand over the spot where his mating mark used to be, remembers the night Ed gave it to him and lets the tears flow freely. He sinks onto his bed, pulls the covers over him and quietly cries himself into an uneasy sleep, the letter from Harry clutched in his hand.

∰

Louis was already in his car for an hour the next day. He doesn't know if he's out of his mind and if what he's doing is right. But the longing for Harry after his letter became so strong the next morning that he threw his travel bag in the trunk without thinking twice and said goodbye to his mother with a tight hug. Neither of them said much, his mother just gave him a knowing look, patted his cheek and told him on his way to listen to his heart, it would guide him properly.

And so he drives the last miles with a pounding heart, loud music and tries to switch off his mind, which literally screams at him that Louis has already found his mate and even if he is dead, he belongs to him. While his heart on the other hand is beating wildly and the thought of the beautiful Alpha only increases the tingling in his stomach. Shortly before he reaches the holiday home, he turns the music down and finally parks. This time there is no Harry on the porch and slowly he gets out of the car. Only the crunching of the stones under his feet can be heard and the splashing of the water on the bank. It is so wonderfully peaceful here and the silence wraps itself around his troubled mind like a cocoon. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply in and out. In his mind he encourages himself and hears the words of his mother to listen to his heart.

He slowly walks towards the holiday home and knocks tentatively on the door. When nobody opens the door for him, he knocks again, this time louder. But still nothing. He looks around the corner to make sure Harry's car is parked behind the house and when he sees it, he breathes a sigh of relief. Harry is probably out in nature and so he decides to wait. First he sits on the step of the porch, but he's so restless that he can't sit there long and decides to walk a little along the shore, but not that far because he wants to keep an eye on the holiday home. It's a sunny day and the warmth of the sun is comfortable on his skin. The marks from scratching over the last few weeks are still visible on his arms but are already fading. Arriving at the shore, he looks at the water and the adjoining trees on the opposite side for a long time and then finally sets out to take a few steps. With his head bowed, he starts walking and, like all the years before, finds it fascinating how powerful this piece of earth is. The calm he feels inside is so wonderfully soothing after all the sadness of the past year. Maybe he should have come here a lot sooner. But then he probably would never have sold the holiday home and never met Harry. 

Harry. As if the thought of him had conjured him up, he can suddenly smell his scent a little bit and he looks up. Startled, he stops because he sees the long and muscular form of Harry coming towards him a little further away. Louis takes a sharp breath and has to blink a few times to make sure it's really him. While he stands, Harry's steps quicken and soon he's standing in front of him.

"Louis," he breathes softly and so gently that he gets goosebumps. His scent of sandalwood is again so engaging that he would like to press his nose to his scent gland immediately.

"Harry," Louis whispers back just as softly, their eyes locking. It's magical. Alpha and Omega, two men and an attraction that it almost hurts to resist and to not immediately pouncing on each other.

They stare at each other for a long time, absorbing each other's every detail, and without another word, Harry opens his arms. Louis doesn't think twice but steps right in, enjoying it as two strong arms wrap around him and he rests his head on his chest. He hears the steady heartbeat below him, the scent even more intoxicating being held so close. It's perfect. This moment heals Louis' battered heart, opening it to a man who was holding it since the first time he got out of the car and collapsed in front of him.

"I read your letter," he murmurs into his chest, feeling Harry's breath hitch and his heart suddenly beating faster.

"I hope I didn't offend you," Harry replies and Louis feels his chin rest on his head.

"No… otherwise I wouldn't be here. I, um, I feel it too,” he admits softly, hugging the Alpha's portly frame even more. It's been a long time since he's felt so safe and so sure of something. It feels right here in the arms of this gentle Alpha. His mind is finally off and Louis just feels.

"Let's go in, Omega," Harry says quietly, pushing him away but takes his hand. And so they walk side by side, hands clasped, a few meters to the house. Louis keeps glancing up at Harry, looking at his handsome face and wanting to stroke his curls.

Once inside, Harry leads him to the sofa and gently pushes him down.

"I'll make us a cup of tea and then we should talk. What do you think about that, Louis?” he asks, gently stroking his cheek with his fingertips. Louis can only nod, he has the feeling that as soon as he opens his mouth, only nonsense will come out. He watches instead as Harry walks into the kitchen, admiring his pretty back side, which although covered in clothes, can not repress the memories of how he had seen him almost naked once. Just the thought of it makes him blush and he feels slick forming. Startled, he quickly diverts his thoughts to something other than Harry's naked body and wiggles his butt uncomfortably on the sofa. Instead, Harry seems to have dropped something in the kitchen at that moment, because there is a clatter and then silence. Louis jumps up from the sofa, startled, and rushes to the kitchen where he sees Harry standing stock still, a broken mug at his feet and when he looks up, wild eyes glare at him.

"Is everything okay?" Louis asks and is about to pick up the broken pieces when Harry grabs his wrist and pulls him up.

"I say that with all the respect I have for you, Louis, but… go back into the living room. Your scent…I…I smell the slick, go, please go back into the living room unless you want me to take you right here and now,” Harry says, his muscles tensed and his voice low - driving right through Louis so that this time his cock in his pants twitches. Louis just stares at him with his mouth open and when Harry frees him from his grip he quickly puts some distance between himself and this Alpha who also makes it difficult for him to think clearly.

"I'm sorry, I'll just go...to the living room," Louis stammers and turns around so quickly that he feels a little dizzy.

"You don't have to be sorry. You smell wonderful little Omega. But we should talk first," he just hears Harry say before he quickly goes into the living room but decides then to go to the porch and get some fresh air.

Louis gazes hauntedly at nature, trying to control his racing heart and rapid breathing. The pheromones that Harry was emitting and the knowledge that a bit of slick had formed had him so aroused that it’s difficult to calm himself. He takes deep breaths and rubs his hand over his butt but thankfully finds his pants dry. Slowly he calms down and sits down on one of the chairs on the side of the porch. He rubs his face with both hands and now the bad conscience comes back. There was only one man who aroused him like this and that was Ed. What is he even doing here? Was it really the right thing to come here? But the opening of the door interrupts his thoughts and Harry comes out with two cups of tea and a smile on his face. He hands him the cup and sits down in the other chair himself. Each of the two takes a sip of the hot drink and an awkward silence remains between them. Again and again they exchange brief glances only to then quickly look into the distance again.

"I'm so embarrassed," Louis finally whispers quietly, who can't stand the silence any longer and has to say something.

"Me too, I'm always in control but I have a hard time around you," Harry admits, his gaze boring into him. Louis is captivated by the green eyes which are the same color as the trees around them.

"Harry…I want to be honest with you. I never thought I would ever be attracted to anyone other than Ed. You took me by surprise. And I will always love him. But with you near me it feels like there's suddenly room in my heart. For you. And it scares the hell out of me. But I can't ignore it either...nor do I want to. Can you live with that? With my grief and knowing that I loved someone else before you and he was my mate?” Louis asks, watching Harry closely who lets him finish without interrupting him.

Harry doesn't answer directly, seems to think about what he wants to say, but he never takes his eyes off him, letting them wander over his face and his body.

"Of course Louis. I got to know you with your past and I thank you for your open words. We can take it easy, see where the journey takes us. What do you think of that?” Harry replies so gently and understandingly that Louis' heart starts beating fast again. This Alpha does things to him that he never thought possible.

"And what if I don't want to slow down? I've learned how short life is, Harry. So damn short. I don't want to be careful. I want to feel alive again. And in your presence life is so much more beautiful, more colorful. The sadness of the last year has almost crushed me. It was all so black and... I want to know how it feels when you kiss and touch me. I'm sorry, if I'm too fast forward,” he says as Harry's gaze grows incredulous with every word before he finally puts his cup of tea down. Louis himself is so embarrassed now, afraid he'll come off as too needy and catching Harry off guard. So he put his cup of tea down on the table way too loudly. He jumps out of his chair and is about to run off the porch, looking for a hole to sink into, when Harry grabs his wrist tightly for the second time that day. In a quick twist, he's pulled against Harry's chest and Louis gasps in shock. When he lifts his head, Harry is already looking down at him, his hands cupping both his cheeks. Both inhale the smell and breath of the other, the tension crackles between the two.

"Don't run away from me Omega. Especially not after you said all that to me,” Harry breathes and his gaze softens, so lovingly that Louis nods slightly in the hands that hold his face.

"You are so beautiful Louis," he says softly, then leans down to him. Louis knows what is coming, yearns for it with every cell in his body and closes his eyes. And when Harry's soft lips finally rest on his, he almost gets dizzy, it feels so good. It's a gentle kiss, the Alpha's full lips fitting perfectly onto his thinner ones - like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that belong together. Louis can't help but let out a slight sigh and wraps his arms around Harry's neck. His invitation to deepen the kiss, the pressure on his lips tightens and Louis welcomes him, opening his mouth slightly to allow Harry's tongue in. Louis' mind is blank, he only notices Harry's scent and how good it feels to be kissed by him. As he lets go of him, Louis whimpers softly, not wanting it to end, but when he sees Harry's mischievous smile and adorable little nose scrunch, all is forgotten. He is so fond of this Alpha that a big smile spreads across his face.

"And? How did the kiss feel? Just like you imagined?” Harry wants to know and rubs his thumb over Louis' lips. Louis' cheeks are glowing and he feels the warmth spreading in them and nods.

"Better even. Can we do that for the rest of the day?” he asks, finally stroking Harry's soft curls, who then closes his eyes and presses his head more into Louis' hand.

"Anything you want, hearts dearest. Come on,” Harry replies as he opens his eyes again and the butterflies dance wildly in Louis' stomach at the pet name. Harry put his arm around Louis' shoulders and led him inside beside him. They settle down on the sofa, both lying down and Louis in Harry's arms. And even when the sun is shining, they snuggle up under the blanket. Neither of them waits long to continue where they left off. Harry tilts his head up with his hand on Louis' chin and their lips meet again. Harry kisses him like he wants to be kissed, so soft and breathy. It's like seeking union and closeness. They share one breath, the sensation of one timeless and passionate moment. A heat rises through Louis' body as Harry's tongue touches his own, every caress of it feels electric and delicious. Both lose themselves at this moment. Louis' hand slowly begins to stroke Harry's chest, causing the Alpha to moan softly. The kisses become firmer, more determined, both more curious about the heat that lays within, looking for the palpable tingling sensation that runs through them both.

When they let go of each other after a while, both breathe quickly and look at each other in amazement and yet with a certainty that Louis shivers for a moment. Harry's look goes straight to concern and again he puts his hand to his cheek, a gesture so protective that Louis could cry.

"Are you alright?" Harry inquires, his brow contracting in a frown.

"More than good. Kiss me again,” he replies, stroking the wrinkles away on Harry's forehead as the Alpha immediately complies.

The afternoon is perfect, filled with loving kisses and cuddles. Neither of them talks much, each just enjoys what the other has to offer and gratefully accepts it.

Chapter Text

Harry wakes up alone in bed the next morning and immediately misses the warmth of the little body he fell asleep with last night. His Alpha is instantly on alert and he falls out of bed when his legs get caught in the covers trying to check on Louis as quickly as possible. Stressed out, he frees himself and storms out of the bedroom and down the stairs. But there is no trace of the Omega in either the kitchen or the living room, and his Alpha is furious about it. The sun is just rising. Where could he be? Has he noticed that everything is going too fast with them and left him? Just the thought of it makes him growl quietly and he rushes to the front door to see if his car is still in front of the house. As he hastily throws open the door and takes a step out onto the porch, he catches his breath, not expecting to see Louis sitting on the porch, wrapped in a woolen blanket and his hair disheveled. Just as startled by the sudden interruption, Louis turns to him and gives him a weary smile. Despite the summer, the morning air is cool and goosebumps spread over his body. Harry had only slept in his boxer shorts and that's only because of Louis, normally he sleeps naked. He feels Louis' burning gaze on his almost naked body, who then turns away with glowing cheeks. But despite the fact that he is cold, only one thing counts for him: the well-being of this wonderful man, the Omega who stole his heart. And so he slowly approaches him and sits down next to him on the cool floor. Louis immediately lifts the covers of the blanket and offers him a seat underneath with a shy smile. His Alpha purrs inwardly at this gesture, moving even closer to him so that they then sit next to each other as if in a tight cocoon of wool and silently look at the water with the sun rising higher and higher in the sky.

"Couldn't you sleep anymore? Is everything okay?” Harry finally asks carefully and puts his arm around Louis under the covers, firstly to give him warmth and secondly to make sure that he is safely tucked under him and won't leave his side anymore. His Alpha is already so possessive that he can't imagine life without him.

"I had a dream," Louis replies quietly, almost absently, and continues to look straight ahead at the lake.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No, not for now."

Harry senses that something is weighing on the Omega and desperation spreads through him. Louis shouldn't feel bad, only joy and happiness should flow through him - just as he deserves. He gently kisses his hair and hopes that he will feel better soon. He gets up restlessly, feeling the need to lift the mood of the other man and his instinct is guiding him again.

"Come in if you’re ready, Omega. You're already cold,” he whispers in his ear and gives a small kiss to his earlobe. Louis just nods and smiles gratefully at him only to look into the distance again with a frown.

Harry goes back upstairs first and looks in his closet for clothes to wear. Feeling the need to impress the Omega, to show what a handsome Alpha he is, he decides against the comfortable clothes of the last few days for one of his designer pants with wide legs and a shimmering blouse that he tucks in. He only wears them buttoned up to his stomach to show the muscles of his chest impressively. Satisfied, he looks at himself in the mirror, tames his wild curls so that they fall gently around his face and on his forehead and just as he is about to go downstairs, an idea comes to him. He has a blue scarf made of the finest silk in his closet, which he has never worn himself but which reminds him of the blue of Louis' eyes. Without thinking further, he pulls it out and starts scenting it so that it smells only of Harry.

When he gets downstairs, he sees Louis standing in the kitchen still in a tight embrace in the blanket while smearing butter on several loaves of bread. His back is to him and Harry slowly approaches him from behind. When he gently puts the silk scarf around his neck, Louis stops in his movements. Harry sees Louis' little hand touch the cloth and when he turns to face him his cheeks are flushed. Harry loves the sight of Louis and his heart beats faster.

"What is that?" he asks quietly and gently strokes the fine, soft fabric again and again.

"A gift for you. It's from the last collection and accentuates your eyes beautifully. You're so beautiful Omega, do you know that?” Harry asks while stroking his cheek affectionately and his Alpha is pleased that Louis wears his scent around his neck.

In response to his question, Louis just shakes his head and Harry gets angry, because how can he not know that he is so beautiful that he regularly takes Harry's breath away and even his mind. He immediately pulls him close, holding Louis' face tightly in both hands and kissing every inch of it, only to then run his hands down his body. Over his arms, where goosebumps follow the touch, over his shoulders down his back which makes Louis sigh softly and finally down to his ass cheeks where he rests his hands.

"I'll show you how beautiful you are. How bloody important you've become to me in such a short amount of time, hearts dearest.” Harry murmurs as he buries his face into the smaller man's neck and then licks his scent gland while removing the scarf from him for better access. Louis moans softly and his scent becomes sweeter, he smells the slick the Omega seems to be losing and his cock immediately twitches in response. Without thinking further, he takes him in his arms bridal style, the woolen blanket around Louis falls carelessly to the ground and he carries him upstairs to his bedroom. They both look at each other the whole way up, Harry's eyes asking if it's okay what's about to happen and Louis just nods in confirmation.

As Harry carefully lays him down on the bed, he kisses the tip of his nose and undresses himself, only to start stripping Louis of his clothes the next moment.

"Do you want it as badly as I do?" Harry asks again, already hooking his fingertips in the waistband of Louis' underpants. 

"Yes, Alpha," Louis breathes, and that word mixed with the excited look Louis throws at him makes him tremble. He briefly closes his eyes to regain his composure and then slowly pulls the last piece of clothing down Louis' legs. His fingers brush the delicate skin and the smell of the slick only gets more intense when Louis lies naked in front of him. His cock is already hard and it's the first time he's seen anyone else naked besides himself. Harry has to control himself not to jump straight at Louis and let the Alpha have the upper hand. His own cock is at least as hard as Louis', but as he crawls beside him and pulls the Omega close, concerns are raising. About the fact that Louis is experienced, has already had sex... and he hasn't. What if he disappoints Louis if he's not good enough? Or does something wrong and hurt him? Sweat breaks out on his forehead and his breathing quickens. Louis seems to sense immediately that something is wrong because his hand gently rests on his face and he looks at him in concern.

"What's the matter Harry? I smell your discomfort. Am I not what you expected?"

Harry immediately shakes his head and rolls onto Louis, throwing himself down with his forearms beside his head and kissing away the worry line on his forehead.

"No, dear. It's just... I've never been intimate with anyone. I don't want to do anything wrong,” he admits softly, and this time it's Louis who shakes his head so wildly that his hair wiggles with the movement.

"I'm sure it will be perfect. I feel it in my heart my beloved,” he says so earnestly that Harry believes every word he says and only then does he realize that Louis has given him a pet name. Touched, he leans down and tries to find his way into Louis' mouth with his tongue.

The more passionate and hungry the kisses become, the more he smells Louis' slickness and Harry can't resist it anymore. His Alpha wants to touch, feel and taste the Omega. Harry acts on instinct once again as he rolls off Louis again and worships his body. While he doesn't even break the kiss, he runs his hand down his torso and nudges his stomach lightly with his index finger, making Louis giggle into the kiss. Harry's mouth also twists into a smile, but then returns to sealing the soft lips with his.

When he finally lets his hand go further and gently strokes Louis' cock, both of them catch their breath and Harry stops moving. Their gazes lock as he grasps the dick and slowly begins to jerk it off. Louis' breath quickens, his cheeks getting pinker and he finally thrusts his hips into his hand to meet his movements. Harry's own cock feels like it's about to burst and he rubs it against Louis' thigh for some friction.

"Touch me," Louis pleads quietly and Harry immediately understands what he's implying. He releases Louis' cock from his grip and finds his way further down towards his hole. Harry can hardly believe that he is now touching another man for the first time, an Omega who has completely taken over him and who his Alpha wants to claim. Louis hole is already full of slick. Sweet and warm so Harry gives Louis a quick kiss on the mouth and then sits between his legs. He puts his slick damp hand into his mouth and has to close his eyes, so much the smell and the taste makes him foggy. Louis whimpers softly at the sight and Harry doesn't wait a second longer before burying his head between Louis' legs and licking the slick straight from the source. With slow tongue movements he runs over the hole again and again and doesn't get enough of it. He's in heaven, his senses taken over by Louis and with only one goal in mind - to satisfy his Omega.

"Alpha... so good, ahhh," Louis moans, only encouraging Harry more. He sticks one of his fingers in while he doesn't stop licking it with his tongue as well. The moaning and squirming of Louis is his prize and he can't imagine ever wanting anyone else as much as he wants him.

Finally he lets go of him, he has to feel him around him and can't wait any longer to finally sink into him. He slowly pulls his finger out and leans over Louis who has his eyes closed in bliss but opens them as Harry's face is close over him. The blue of his eyes is brighter than ever, fogged with lust and passion. Harry thinks he's never looked more beautiful.

"Open your mouth, taste how delicious you are, Omega," Harry demands softly, running a slick-covered finger over Louis' lips. Louis immediately complies with his request and covers the finger with his lips, sucks on it and moans softly. Harry pulls his finger out and grabs his cock directly, guiding it to the spot where he's about to join Louis. He looks into Louis' eyes one last time, tries to convey with his eyes how much he wants him, how much his heart beats for him and when he presses into him, the world stops for a moment. Louis pulls his face down with both hands, the tips of their noses touching but instead of kissing, their lips pause before touching. Instead, they exchange breaths and the more he enters him, the more something shifts inside Harry. It touches his soul, his heart and his mind. Love. All consuming love for this Omega and he is so overflown with it that a single tear from the corner of his eye finds its way down his cheek.

"Oh Alpha," Louis murmurs touched and stretches his head towards him a bit more so that they finally sink into a tender kiss again.

As he fully bottoms out, he pauses for a moment, but Louis is impatient, grabs his ass with both hands and squeezes him in even more. Harry's Alpha roars in his chest and he begins to fuck Louis with long, powerful thrusts.

"Mine," Harry growls, his voice thick with arousal, and Louis mewls softly in response.

"My Omega. Just mine,” he murmurs softly again, punctuating each of his words with an even deeper thrust into Louis's warmth.

It's perfect. Louis' body is made for Harry, their movements meet and he forgets space and time. Louis' slick is bubbling up more and more, his own thighs are now soaked with it, as is the bed sheet.

The moans of the two and the squeak of the bed are the only sounds Harry hears, but he wants Louis to scream his name. Wants the whole world to hear how good he is to his Omega and that only he is able to make him feel that way.

He sits on his shins and pulls Louis with his hands on the Omegas hips closer to him, wrapping Louis' legs around him and holding his waist with one hand while with the other he starts jerking off Louis' cock in sync with his thrusts. The other ankle seems to give Louis even more satisfaction as he mumbles his name mantra-like, his head thrashes back and forth while one of his hands digs into his own hair.

"How good do I make you feel, Omega? Tell me how much you enjoy it,” Harry groans, unable to get enough of the sight in front of him.

"I love your big cock. You, ah, you are perfect. My Alpha,” Louis sighs and his breathing is so fast that the words come out hesitantly from his pink-kissed lips.

When he hears that Louis calls him his Alpha, he loses the last bit of his mind and fucks Louis faster and wilder, there is no place for tenderness anymore, it's wild and primal and so damn perfect. His own orgasm is approaching, he feels it with every new thrust, but first he wants to get his Omega over the edge. But Louis doesn't seem to be far away either, the cock is throbbing in his hand and the hole keeps tightening around him. Harry increases his speed and leans forward, down to Louis' ear.

"Come for me Omega," he whispers softly and gently nibbles his earlobe, then runs his tongue down the back of his neck to where his scent is the strongest. When he gently takes the sensitive skin between his teeth, Louis comes. He feels the warm spurting between their bodies, hears Louis scream his name and his fingers dig into his back.

“Beautiful Omega, so good for me. Mine,” Harry moans, the contractions of his hole from the orgasm making Harry cum too. It's the first time that he feels how good a climax inside a partner feels, how much it numbs the senses so that little lightning bolts go through his body, making him shiver. Not comparable to all the lonely ruts he spent with himself. The tug in his abdomen as he spills all of his seed into his Omega, claiming him with it. Even during his own orgasm he begins to scent Louis, literally rubs his smell into him and buries his nose deep into the Omega's neck to inhale the sweet smell of caramel. His own personal drug that he wants to use every day. As he feels his knot getting bigger, he suddenly widens his eyes, startled because it's nothing he discussed with Louis before. The pleasure of the orgasm quickly gives way to a panic of having crossed a line, but when he raises his head and sees Louis' gaze, everything is forgotten.

"It's okay, I want it. I want you as much as you want me. Enjoy it, don't fight it Alpha. I'm yours. All of me is yours now,” Louis breathes so lovingly that tears gather in Harry's eyes again. Harry nods and kisses Louis, crashing his lips onto his Omega's and closing his eyes as he feels his knot growing to full size, binding them together.

"Where have you been all my life Omega? I'm so grateful to be able to hold you in my arms… do you feel what's between us too?” Harry wants to know and Louis begins to smile slightly while stroking his short curls again and again.

"I can feel it too. I never thought I'd feel this way for anyone again. And it scares me in a small part because…Harry, I feel bad about saying that this is more - more than Ed and I had. I thought I loved him the most. But it’s you my beloved. And then again, you make me so happy. I'm sorry to bring up my late mate during our knotting,” Louis sobs on his last words, guiltily looking away from him.

Harry takes a deep breath, not only because his first sex was phenomenal and he barely recovered from the orgasm, but also because of what Louis said. He grabs Louis' face with one hand and turns it back to him, wildly searching his eyes and shaking his head.

"Don't take your eyes off me Omega. Not after you said that to me. Ed is part of your past and I'm grateful that he loved you, made you happy when I didn't know you existed. But I am even more grateful that you feel it in your heart too. You are the reason,” he says so earnestly and full of emotion that he has to swallow himself, because the feelings for him almost chokes his throat. Instead, Louis just sobs softly and can't hold back his tears.

„For what?“ Louis whispers, his lashes darken from the moisture and frame the blue orbits, only making them more impressive.

„For everything.“

Harry turns them both sideways so that they are both more comfortable while they are stuck for the time being. Louis immediately buries his face in his chest and lets his emotions run wild. He cries and kisses his chest again and again. Harry's heart tightens for his Omega, who must be so confused by all the emotions.

"Shhh it's all good, calm down heart’s dearest," he whispers softly over and over again, pushing Louis closer with one hand on the back of his head while stroking his back with the other.

"You are the reason too," he hears Louis say quietly after a while, and Harry's heart just swells with pride and affection. Because he knows what the real meaning behind it is, but it's too early. Both of them succumbed to their feelings faster than Harry would have dared to hope anyway. He almost finds the words nicer than the three anyway, which only come close to what the Omega in his arms makes him feel.

"You are my one and only. You hold my heart in your hands,” Harry replies, kissing Louis' hair.

"I take good care of it," Louis says. Both are silent afterwards, just enjoying each other's closeness and listening to their breath.

"Would you like to tell me what was bothering you so much this morning?" Harry asks after a while, looking down to find Louis who still has his face pressed tightly to his chest.

"Maybe tomorrow. Now I just want to enjoy how good it feels to be in your arms,” Louis replies, finally looking up at him. He wears a happy smile that reaches his eyes and makes them shine like little diamonds.

"Okay. But you can always tell me anything. I will always be there for you."

"And I am for you. Let's sleep Alpha, I'm tired,” Louis pleads, craning his neck, a silent invitation for a kiss - which Harry, of course, immediately accepts.

As Louis quickly falls asleep in his embrace, Harry lies awake, far too agitated by his feelings and the knowledge that this man is irrevocably his.

Chapter Text

Louis lets the water patter down on him for a long time, the warm drops relax his mind that hasn't quite realized what happened yesterday and the muscles in his body that are tense. Here alone in the shower and without Harry around, thoughts of Ed come flooding back. The guilty conscience that he hadn't had a dream the first night for a long time and he thinks he's erased him with Harry. But he can call his last dream as clearly as if it were a favorite film that he had seen over and over again for years and can now speak every line by heart. 

Ed had said goodbye to him in it and not just, as usual, encouraging Louis to let go in his dreams. No, this time it was Ed who smiled happily at him, rubbing his thumb across his cheekbones and looking at him with his brown eyes. In the dream, Louis kept stroking his soft light brown hair, sucking him in and finally pressing a gentle kiss on the birthmark below his earlobe. 

"I'm proud of you Louis, you know that? You opened your heart and didn't close it. Go now and be happy. If you think of me, then only about how nice we had it but don't let the sadness guide you anymore. Your new Alpha is a good man, I know he will take good care of you. Even more than I ever could. You'll soon know what I mean by that."

"How can you talk about it like that? Like you don't mind?"

"But I don't mind darling. Our time was up but we made full use of what we had. Don't hold on to me anymore. You needed me and I was always with you since my death. But now I'm going."

Brown eyes stared at him earnestly, underlining that his mate would not allow any discussion.

"I'm not ready to let you go," Louis exclaimed in desperation as the contours around Ed were already beginning to weaken and he dug his fingers hard into his Alpha's shoulder, trying to hold him tight.

"But you are. You have already admitted the new love. We will meet again and then you will understand that nothing is lost. Just because I'm gone, I still love you. As you love me. But I was only a small part of your path that I was allowed to walk with you. There's more waiting out there. Everything has a purpose in life, Louis. Everything has its own time. Now is the time to move on. With Harry."

Ed's already blurred form then leaned forward a bit, kissed him long and softly and when he opened his eyes he was standing there alone. Suddenly in a white room where the living room of the shared apartment was before. And Louis slumped in the room, sitting on his knees screaming for Ed, looking around but there was nothing but white to see.

That was the moment he woke up and opened his eyes in shock. His head snapped around to Harry who was sleeping peacefully and his heart, still beating wildly from his goodbye and the shock of it, only fluttered a little faster at the sight of the man next to him - but this time for a different reason. And it was too much. Louis couldn't lie next to Harry anymore, the images of Ed still too fresh in his head and the smell of sandalwood from the Alpha next to him triggered an escape reflex in Louis. He wrapped himself in his blanket and tiptoed out of the room and out onto the porch. The cool morning air and the stillness of nature calmed his wild emotions and indeed after saying goodbye to Ed he felt freer after his dream, the sadness no longer gripped his heart. Instead, he replayed the happy moments with his eyes closed, remembering him and Ed listening to the birdsong over breakfast on the porch the way he is doing right now, swimming in the lake together and then afterwards sunbathing on the grass in front of the cottage. 

And then Harry crept into the thoughts - of how they already have memories together here, too. That was when Harry suddenly stood behind him. His Omega would have liked to jump up and into his arms immediately. But he didn't have to wait long and the Alpha was already next to him. As it should be.

Louis sighs and turns off the water and while he is still stepping out of the shower, grabs the towel that belongs to Harry and wraps him in the scent of the Alpha. He decides in this moment to lock Ed in his heart, to keep the memories there like in a small velvet box but Harry to give the rest of his heart. After last night and their first sex, there is no other option. Harry belongs to Louis and he to him. Irrevocable. He's the reason.

For a long time Louis just stands in the bathroom wrapped in the towel, eyes closed and keeps breathing in the scent of Harry, which warms his insides and covers the cracks in his heart like a plaster. But he needs more, wants to push his face back into his Alpha's neck right away. His stomach does somersaults and pure happiness floods him because no one can stop him from the action. After all he has Harry with him, no longer needs to press his nose into shirts or other fabricates like last year, but can finally press against a warm body again, which welcomes him.

∰

Ever since the sex and knotting last night it's like something's shifted. Harry's scent was already attractive before, but now he smells him more clearly, it almost seems as if the Alpha's scent is pulling and guiding him to him and so Louis knows immediately that Harry is not in the house and his steps are carrying him directly outside in front of the door. And when he sees what Harry has prepared for him while he was showering, the Omega can't help but purr softly. The Alpha is sitting on a spread out blanket near the shore - plates, cups, fruit and bread are all around him, finely decorated on plates, and his gaze snaps around at him as Louis steps out. Harry himself looks beautiful and Louis immediately has tears in his eyes because he can't believe that this handsome man has the same feelings for him that he has for him.

"Come here heart's dearest," Harry calls out to him and there's no stopping Louis. Just the brief moment in the shower was already too much separation from him and so he runs towards him, falls into his open arms so that Harry falls backwards with him.

"Did you miss me little Omega?" Harry chuckles softly, green eyes that seem so much brighter in the sunlight looking fondly at him.

Louis doesn't know what to do. Emotions are on a roller coaster and he sheds a few happy tears as he hastily presses his mouth to Harry's and lies on top of him enjoying the strong arms that wrap around him. Louis feels safe and so desired, valued by this man and with lips on his mouth, kissing him back so softly as if he were fragile and needed to be handled with kid gloves. This moment and this kiss is one of the reasons. A promise.

"Why are you crying, baby?" Harry finally asks quietly as he gently brushes away the silent tears with his fingertips.

"There's so much going on inside me. And I can't believe how loving you are to me, how beautiful you look sitting out here preparing this for me. I'm probably exaggerating. I guess I'm a bit sensitive,” Louis sniffles as Harry helps him sit up.

Harry gives him a crooked grin. "So they are happy tears?"

"Yes, yes absolutely," Louis murmurs with a wild nod that underscores his point, and as they sit next to each other he lets his head rest on Harry's shoulder. An arm immediately goes around his waist and Harry begins to feed him. First with strawberries, apples and oranges, then with bread, until finally they drink their coffee together in a comfortable silence while letting their eyes wander over the lake.

But Louis suddenly becomes restless. He has absolutely no idea where the sudden change of mood is coming from, until just now he was calm beside Harry. In a hurry he packs the things into the basket Harry had taken everything out in and keeps touching his fringe, now annoyed too because it's constantly falling in his face.

"Lou? Is everything okay?” Harry asks cautiously, stopping Louis for a moment.

"No, I have to do something. I don't know, can we go hiking? Or just have sex? Although no, I want to walk.”

He hastily puts the packed basket to the side, pushes Harry off the blanket with his hands on his shoulders, who then laughs out loud and Louis immediately begins to fold them up as well. Without waiting for Harry, he grabs both things and strides inside, setting them down carelessly in the hallway and then running up the stairs.

Although he hears Harry's footsteps behind him, he doesn't care as he looks in his bag for a pair of shorts and his favorite pastel blue shirt. Harry watches him leaning against the doorframe with a grin but remains silent, only raising an eyebrow in astonishment as Louis storms past him. In the guest room, he searches through his clothes, which are still lying on the bed, for the hiking socks he and Ed always had in the closet.

"Where did you put my hiking boots when you cleared everything out?" he asks and lets his eyes wander over the room. His gaze falls on a hat which he gratefully grabs, brushes back the annoying fringe and holds it back with it.

"They would have to be under the bed," Harry replies quietly, who has followed him and right away Louis leans down and discovers his shoes, which he is about to pull out. But then he suddenly feels big hands on his hips and Harry's groin pressing against his bottom.

"Harry," Louis breathes, straightening up while Harry hugs him tightly to his body with a hand directly on his chest. Louis leans his head back while Harry still holds him tightly, swaying his hips and letting him feel exactly how aroused he is. His scent of sandalwood is stronger than before and reveals how much he desires Louis. Louis turns to him in the embrace as Harry grabs his face, licks his lips gently, and then forces his way into his mouth. As Louis gasps, Harry buries his face into his collarbone and growls softly.

"My beloved, tempting as it is. But I want to hike. I have to go out, walk - I'm so restless inside me,” Louis wails and pushes the Alpha a little away, who grimaces as if it hurts to be only an inch away from him.

"But I want you. You can't bend over in these tight shorts and think it doesn't do anything to me. Do you have any idea how sexy you are, Omega?” Harry asks, already beginning to pull him closer.

But Louis, using his smaller form, ducks and eludes Harry's grasp.

"Omega," Harry growls, making Louis chuckle softly.

"Alpha," he mocks him back and grabs his shoes, slides to the floor and pulls them on, socks included.

"You're going to be my death," Harry whispers, running his hand over his visibly stiff cock which is pressing against his pants. But what was just a succinct statement for Harry, freezes Louis and he begins to cry without warning. He knows Harry meant it in a different way, and yet the word death immediately reminds him of Ed and leaves him with no choice but to sob out loud. Harry is with him immediately, seems to have realized his mistake and starts kissing his face.

"I'm so sorry. Sorry! Sorry! Please forgive me heart's dearest," he talks to him and Louis would do anything to turn off his feelings. He doesn't know what got into him and desperately swallows a few times, blinks and tries with all his might to calm down. His Alpha must think he's out of his mind. He's probably had lost it since Ed died and it's getting a little worse with each passing day.

"It's okay. I, um, I'm exaggerating. I’m so upset and don’t know why. Can- can we just get out in nature? It'll definitely help me,” Louis stutters between his tears.

Harry's worried gaze travels across his face, but he nods and looks down ruefully. But Louis doesn't let the Alpha feel guilty for his whims and immediately lifts his face up with one hand on his chin.

"Sorry Alpha. You're nothing more than sweet to me and I fuck everything up. Will you accompany me on a little hike? And afterwards you can make love to me?”

Harry looks up but is silent now, probably afraid of saying something wrong to him again. Instead of an answer he gets a soft kiss into which Louis sighs softly and then Harry starts lacing Louis shoes and helps him to get up. Louis is plagued with remorse and as they face each other, he gently strokes Harry's cheek and smiles at him, hoping the Alpha hasn't had enough of him already.

∰

Louis has a problem. It's true that hiking through nature is good and the quick steps with which they hurry through the forest have calmed his inner restlessness a little, but with every look at Harry he gets more horny and he wishes he had let the Alpha have his way earlier. Harry looks gorgeous, short red shorts that are tight fitting and don't leave much to the imagination as is the black tank top that accentuates the muscles of his upper body and makes Louis produce the first slick.

"I smell you little Omega," Harry whispers into the silence, gripping the hand he's holding a little tighter.

"Shut up. I already regret that I went hiking instead of disappearing between the sheets with you,” Louis murmurs and blushes.

Harry gives him a crooked grin and wiggles his eyebrows. "I could spoil you laid over a log."

"Would you like it if someone else saw me bare walking past?" Louis winks and chuckles to himself as the Alpha starts to growl softly. Just thinking about the scene makes a new wave of slickness come out of him.

"Just wait until we're home, Omega," he whispers, stops and suddenly pulls Louis towards him, who gasps in shock. Harry's nose is already buried deep on his neck, the hand, with which he's not holding him flush to his body, runs down his back, shoves into his pants and runs a finger through his ass crack. Louis' knees almost sag from the touch and a small groan escapes him, while Harry keeps stroking the slick and Louis meanwhile has begun to lick Harry’s scent gland and nibble at it.

When he finally lets go of him, Louis is already dizzy from his lust, and when Harry licks his slick-soaked fingers, it floods him with only more lust.

"We should turn around, I want to go home," Louis wails and only has the urge to roll between the soft fabrics naked with Harry. He wants to nest, preferably right away, and he grabs Harry's hand and pulls him behind him, almost starting to run - he's so impatient.

"Why are we running so fast, heart's dearest?“ Harry asks puzzled.

"I want to nest. And I want you to take me in it. Come on Alpha,” he says hurriedly, stumbling in his quick stride over a larger branch he missed in his haste. Which in turn makes him cry because he's making a complete fool of himself in front of Harry. Louis doesn't know where the sudden mood swings are coming from, but suspects that it's just all too much for his sensitive Omega. Suddenly there is a new Alpha at his side, the last days of dreams with Ed in it that were far too real and the final goodbye to him in there.

"Louis, stop," Harry says a tick too loud, which only adds to the seriousness in his voice, and Louis can't help but obey. His Omega is more than unhappy that he may has upset his Alpha.

With his inner turmoil returning and tears running down his cheeks, he stands with his head bowed, just hoping again Harry hasn't had enough of him already.

"What's the matter with you today?" Harry wants to know quietly and more gently from him, who is now standing close to him, rubbing his upper arms up and down and repeatedly kissing his hair.

"I don't know. And I'm sorry, somehow I'm on a roller coaster of emotions today. I carry so much baggage around with me and don't want to be a burden for you. I can understand if I'm too much and you don’t want me anymore,” he says quietly as he kicks a rock away from him as if it were a ball. He looks up cautiously and sees Harry smiling softly as he finally cups his face in both hands.

"You're not too much. You are the reason,” Harry says firmly and underscores his words with a long kiss that brings Louis' emotions to a halt. Only Harry matters. The lips nestling gently around his own, the tongue gently massaging his own, the big strong body pressing protectively against him and the heart beating wildly which he can feel as he lays his hand on it.

When Harry lets go of him, they look into each other's eyes for a long time until Harry puts an arm around his waist and he slowly leads him back to the house.

∰

Louis looks contentedly at the nest he has built in the bedroom. Harry's mattress serves as a base and is close to the wall and side of the closet to give it a little more tightness. It was difficult to hoist the mattress off the bed by himself, but he really wanted that one as the Alpha's scent hangs prominently on it. In addition, he took Harry's duvet but his own pillow and already only these three things made Louis Omega purr, their scents wonderfully combined. After that, he quickly ran to the bathroom, retrieved Harry's and his worn clothes that were lying over the edge of the bathtub, went into the guest room to get one of Ed's shirts and then back into the bedroom. All of this hadn't lasted more than a minute because Louis was on a mission and didn't want to suddenly run at Harry's feet.

Because he had immediately forbidden Harry the entry to the bedroom and slammed the door in his face when he wanted to follow him, but instead of Harry being angry about it, he only heard him giggling softly in the hallway and the receding footsteps.

He folded Ed's shirt neatly, each seam on seam, smoothed it with his hand and then placed it gently next to the pillow where he looked at it for a long time. No matter how much Harry had taken him in and his heart beating faster just at the thought of him, Ed would always own a small piece of it, so it was only fair that he would find a tiny spot in the nest too. The other shirts, sweaters and pants he either spread out on the mattress, rolled or folded them together so that they completely framed the mattress. It was perfect.

Louis can't wait a minute longer to finally enter his nest and so he quickly strips naked, leaving his worn clothes carelessly on the floor, crawls in with a sigh and lies spread out like a starfish in his nest. He immediately feels the soothing effect of the mixed smells and fabrics on his naked body. Eventually he rolls onto his stomach and presses his face into Harry's shirt which is lying on the mattress directly beneath him and closes his eyes in bliss. Every breath of sandalwood intoxicates him and he already misses the Alpha that serves as a source.

"Harry?" he calls loudly, hoping he's not too far away. But  he hears quick footsteps immediately on the steps and then a knock on the door.

"May I come in Omega?"

Louis is so touched by the Alpha's respect. Because a nest is sacred for Omegas and every child is already taught that under no circumstances can you simply enter such a nest, but that you have to ask first and to be allowed to enter it. That Harry even extends it to the bedroom is particularly cute and Louis just wants to kiss and snuggle up to him.

"Come in my beloved," he calls, and it's like a rush of adrenaline that runs through him when Harry finally steps inside. Louis immediately makes grabby hands but his Alpha seems to have gone into shock.

"Please come to me. I need you here with me,” Louis whimpers and doesn't know why he's so damn desperate.

"Your nest has become beautiful heart's dearest. And, wow... do you actually know how good you look in it so naked?” he murmurs, unable to take his eyes off Louis' body, causing his cock to swell and produce slick again.

Harry shakes himself out of his trance and steps closer, but just as he's about to climb in, Louis shakes his head.

"Clothes off, Alpha. You don't need them anyway."

He's never seen anyone undress so quickly, and when Harry finally falls into his arms, he hugs him tightly. Louis' nose pressed perfectly in the crook of his neck and his mouth pecking many small kisses down the Alpha's skin. Louis inhales his favorite scent like an addict, stroking every inch of Harry he can reach and wrapping his legs around Harry's longer ones. 

Harry makes sure for the next hour that Louis lacks nothing, loves him through their highs, holds him in the fall afterwards and whispers the most beautiful declarations of affection in his ear while Louis slowly and finally peacefully drifts off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Harry is woken up the next morning by the ringing of his cell phone, which is on the bedside table. Startled, he sits up but sees that at least Louis is still sound asleep next to him. He carefully frees himself from the Omega's grip as quickly as possible and hurries to his phone.

"Styles," he whispers into his cell phone in response, then quickly disappears from the bedroom to continue the conversation.

As he walks down to the living room, he listens to the frantic monologue of his representative, who tells him that a collaboration with another big brand didn’t work out as planned. As he lets himself down on the sofa, he immediately feels the old tension again, how his pulse quickens and he actually doesn't really listen anymore. All the relaxation that he has already collected in the last week is blown away and he keeps rubbing his hand over his face or stroking his hair because he’s so stressed. 

"And what should I do now? I didn't take my vacation for nothing! Please meet again with the company and do your bloody job,” Harry replies, annoyed and way too loud. He knows he's not that person, never was, and he hates what he's become in terms of his job. When his colleague asks him to leave early and come back to take things in his hands, he can't help but growl and yells that he doesn't do anything and just hangs up angrily.

Furious, he throws the cell phone aside, which falls to the floor with a loud bang, and then starts to pace up and down the living room while pulling his hair. Snorting, he tries to calm down and only too late he notices the smell of caramel and two small hands resting on his arms from behind. Promptly he stops and turns around. "Lou," is all he gets out.

Two worried blue eyes look at him and while Harry sinks into them the Omega leans up and gives him a soft kiss. Harry closes his eyes and immediately feels himself calming down, his Alpha more than pleased that there is his Omega, stroking away the worry lines on his forehead with gentle touches.

"Sorry that I woke you up," Harry whispers, hugging Louis who is just as naked as last night. "Don't you feel cold?"

Louis just shakes his head in the negative and takes Harry's hand in his, pulling him back up the stairs and into the bedroom. Despite the delicate view in front of him, Harry can't shake the thought of ‚Canyon Moon‘ and, annoyed, lets himself fall into the nest next to Louis.

Louis is immediately above him, holding his face with both hands, the tips of their noses almost touching. "What's the matter, my beloved? I could smell your tension even in my nest.”

"A call from work. Jesus, I'm so burned out. Just this one call has already stressed me out again, I'm just so tired right now that I could sleep right away but just - I’m so upset and ... I, I just can't take it anymore," he tries to explain desperately and his breathing gets faster so that Louis quickly grabs one of his shirts from the nest and drapes it over Harry's chest. Then Louis snuggles closer to him.

"Shh Alpha. Let it go, relax. Close your eyes and let me cuddle you to sleep,” Louis whispers softly and cuffles more up to him, head resting on his chest and fingertips circling his stomach. Harry is so touched by the comfort his Omega gives him, who was right there with him when he was down and who takes loving care of him.

"Lou, look at me," Harry pleads softly, reaching for the hand that's still caressing him and raising it to his mouth. He kisses each fingertip and when their eyes meet, he smiles gently at him.

Louis smiles back and laces their fingers together, patiently waiting for Harry to find the words he's searching for.

"You're the reason. That my heart races faster just looking at you. That I can calm down. That I breathe. That I'm finally starting to live. That I know what love feels like. I love you heart's dearest," he says quietly and can watch Louis getting more touched with every word and his small body just pressing closer to him.

"I love you too, Harry," he answers him in a low, emotionally charged voice. But instead of falling into a kiss, they lie there for a while, eyes locked on each other as if they were staring into each other's souls. Wild beating hearts and the two hands that are now placed on top of each other on Harry's chest.

But then Harry wants to taste the Omega and lifts Louis' chin a little further, stroking it with his thumb over and over again while he distributes feathery kisses on the soft lips. Louis' smell is even more prominent this morning than yesterday, is even stronger and wraps itself around Harry like a soft blanket that protects him from all stress and doesn't let anything get to him anymore.

"Thank you for being there for me," he says quietly between kisses.

"Always," Louis simply replies and gives him one last kiss. Then he snuggles up close to him again. "Let's get some sleep. I'm still tired,” Louis murmurs, nuzzling his chest.

As Harry puts the covers over them, however, Louis lifts his part of him down again, and just as Harry is about to ask why he's doing this, all he hears is a low, "Too hot," from Louis.

Harry immediately puts his hand on his forehead to feel for a fever, inhaling deeply the smell of the Omega to see if he's amiss, but all he can tell is that Louis smells just as good as ever, if not sweeter. Meanwhile, Louis just smiles to himself with his eyes closed.

"It's all good Alpha, calm down. I'm just a little warm, you radiate such heat. So hot, always so hot."

Harry has to giggle at that softly, but decides to enjoy the now relaxed atmosphere and closes his eyes as well. It doesn't take long until they both fall asleep tightly embraced.

∰

Harry awakens to a sound for the second time that day, but this time it's not his cell phone ringing but a soft whimper. Alarmed, he opens his eyes and finds Louis in front of him who is obviously wanking and already has a fine layer of sweat on his body.

"Alpha," he moans miserably, and Harry can hardly take in the new impressions at once. Louis' desperate voice, the smell of slick and caramel paired with something very sweet and his own cock that immediately became stiff.

Louis is in heat, no doubt about that, and Harry's Alpha promptly takes over his senses.

"I need you to fuck me," Louis exclaims desperately and rolls back and forth in the nest. His fingers buried deep in his hole and the other hand jerking his cock wildly. The sight alone almost makes Harry die of passion.

But Harry can't keep watching Louis pleasure himself and immediately grabs his hands and pins them over his head, rolling his body onto him.

"Mhh, do you want my big cock inside you? My fat knot splitting you open?” he whispers and immediately puts his tongue in Louis's mouth, which whimpers loudly.

"Yes, give it to me, Alpha. I need you,” Louis babbles, his eyes so full of lust that it takes Harry's breath away. But instead of burrowing directly into him, he licks his tongue down the Omega's body. Picks up the fine film of sweat as if it were sweet honey, bites again and again in between over all his body and listens to the small "ah's" of the Omega whose whole body radiates heat. Like he's the sun and Harry can't wait to get burned on it.

When he finally gets to Louis' cock, which is already leaking precome, he quickly licks the drops off the head, but then lifts Louis' legs over his shoulders for more access to his pink hole. The slick is literally dripping out of him, the insides of his thighs are already wet from it and Harry only wants one thing - taste the Omega. He licks his tongue greedily over the hole while Louis yelps softly and stretches his hips towards him.

"More, more, more," Louis calls and Harry doesn't need to be told twice. The smell of Louis between his legs is beyond intoxicating and Harry feels drunk. He can't get enough of all this, of Louis, so he licks him, practically massaging him with his tongue like he's a starved man. While pampering Louis with his tongue, he runs his hands up his body, grasps his nipples with his fingers and alternates between twisting and pulling, eliciting the most beautiful sounds from his Omega.

With his mouth full of slickness, he wanders his mouth away from his hole to slowly take Louis cock into his mouth, which meanwhile looks red and desperate. Harry literally makes love to his length, as his hands rubs his ass cheeks or takes turns finger-fucking him. Louis lets his hands run through Harry's hair and pulls it lightly so that he pulls away, resting the side of his face against Louis' thigh.

"Fuck me Alpha. Now!” Louis demands and also Harry can't wait any longer. He lifts himself back up to Louis and hungrily kisses the needy whimpers off the Omega's lips. As Louis scratches his fingernails down Harry's back, he groans loudly and in one quick motion rolls off him, turning Louis onto his side so that his back is against Harry's chest. While nibbling on Louis' earlobe he spreads his ass cheeks with his hand as he guides with the other one his shining, slippery cock from his own precome to enter Louis' waiting hole. Harry feels his cock pressing against Louis' hole and the Omega presses back. The little heated body lies in Harry’s hold like it was made for him and with strong hands on Louis' hips, he finally pulls him onto his cock. 

He begins to fuck Louis hard, his brain blank, no thought left but the need to feel his Omega and fuck him through his heat for the next few days. Giving it to him so well that Louis will have trouble walking afterwards. Louis' loud moans are music to his ears and he slams hard into him again and again. It's a wild play of their bodies, Harry pulls out almost completely only to then push his cock all the way back into the sweet drippin hole, all while Louis squeezes his cock with his ass cheeks.

Harry leans sideways over Louis, his need for him insatiable. He lifts Louis' chin with his hand and he kisses him, licking each other's mouths.

His thrusts slow down a bit and he begins to caress Louis' body, whose warmth is increasing by the second. Over his arm, his chest, his stomach and around the navel, further down to Louis' cock which he then takes in a tight grip.

"Alpha, I want your knot. I want your mark. Bond me, please, please, please."

With each word, Louis pushes himself further back, the slow movements of his hips burying his cock in him apparently not enough for the Omega. But Harry comes to a halt at his words, his Alpha is already raging inside him and wants to comply with the Omega's wish immediately. Something clicks inside his head and Harry goes wild, primal, literally feral.

"You want to be mine? Just mine?” Harry growls and licks Louis' scent gland again and again, making him mewl loudly.

"Yes Alpha. Only yours. Come on, bite me. Finally give me your fat knot." Louis' tone is now harsher, more demanding. The Omega knows exactly what he wants and that only spurs the Alpha on. His hand literally flies over Louis' cock and repeatedly elicits a loud moan from his red-bitten lips. With each thrust he buries himself deeper into the Omega's heat, smacking loudly where their bodies meet, both crotches covered in slick and all of this is so damn sexy that Harry already feels his cock start to twitch and his own orgasm building inside of him. Louis presses his ass harder and harder against his cock and balls while the Alpha lengthens his strokes, pumping harder. As his orgasm overcomes him, he bites into the juncture of Louis' neck while driving his cock into him, pulling his ass down on it. He's sinking his teeth into Louis even more, feeling the blood on his tongue, but he's completely zoned out. The only thing he hears is Louis yells out while slamming his dick all the way in, feels it pulsating and dumping his cum deep inside of the Omega. When he finally detaches his mouth from him and licks the red wound over and over again, completely succumbing to his instincts, Louis finally comes with a loud yelp. Harry runs his hands all over his body, as they fall into their mutual orgasm and kisses the mating mark over and over again. 

"Mine," Harry growls again, and then his knot begins to swell. Louis' hole stretched tightly around his cock and the soft, happy sigh of his Omega finally makes him quiet too. His senses suddenly sharpened again and then it's as if his soul connects with Louis. As he closes his eyes because the feeling is so damn overwhelming, he can actually see the golden threads in his mind reaching out to Louis, connecting with each other and everything Harry is, merging with Louis.

"Harry," Louis breathes, feeling a love inside that isn't his. That makes his heart stumble and floods him with warmth.

"What's happening here?" Harry whispers back, the wild passion from just now giving way to a stillness in him and the certainty that the two have become one.

"I don't know. But I feel you inside me. You are everywhere."

Louis's voice trembles and he seeks his gaze as he turns his head sideways. Harry bends forward as far as his knot allows and then sees Louis' eyes gleam with tears, but also with something else he can't describe. Louis has never looked more beautiful. The blue eyes really shine, the cheeks red and a shimmer on his skin that Harry would like to memorize and let it paint. Immortalize forever what his Omega looks like at that moment.

"Oh my heart's dearest," Harry murmurs, cupping his hand around Louis' face, lifting it slightly so they can meet in a kiss. "I love you so much."

"I- I love you too. M- more than I've ever loved before,” Louis sobs and Harry can't help but push his knot a little further into him. No closeness is good enough, he wants to consume him, never leave and stay here with him in this moment for a lifetime.

With his hand on Louis' stomach and his head buried firmly in his neck, he can no longer fight back the rising tears and so they both lie there sniffling and letting their feelings run free. Their mixed scents are heavy in the air and Harry has never smelled anything nicer. This moment since bonding feels heavenly.

As his knot slowly goes down and he gently pulls himself out of Louis, his mate whimpers loudly. Louis turns to face him and, staring wildly, pushes Harry onto his back. He can't help but watch in fascination as his Omega mounts him, spreads his legs over him and immediately slides his body onto his still hard cock.

Harry can feel the lust of his Omega within him, the burning desire, the pure passion mixing with his own in an explosive mixture.

"Are you giving it to yourself on my cock Omega?" he asks with relish while Louis moves up and down frantically on his cock, head tilted back in bliss. He loves the sight of Louis - totally surrendering to his heat and taking what he wants. Harry feels wonderfully used.

"Your dick feels so damn good," Louis murmurs in reply, gyrating his hips while Harry strokes his upper body up and down. Enjoys the soft skin beneath his fingers, the nipples standing erect and just screaming for Harry's attention. While Louis noticeably fucks himself to the next orgasm, Harry leans on his hands, straightens his upper body and takes the nubs between his lips, sucking them hard so that Louis' buries his hands in his hair and he moans. Sometimes Harry bites gently or rolls his tongue over the nubs, making sure to give both equal attention.

But then his eyes fall on the fresh mating mark and he can't help but lick possessively over it, what Louis throws over the edge and he comes in warm, long spurts over both chest.

∰

The next three days pass without Harry knowing what space and time is. His Omega is wild and will only let him rest for an hour at most. He has trouble feeding him or getting him to drink. As soon as he steps out of the room to get food, he immediately hears him calling for him and finds him stressed out when he steps into the bedroom a few minutes later. Most of the time he can only be persuaded to eat with a hand job. Even if it's his first time experiencing an Omega in heat, his Alpha knows what to do and if it means jerking his cock off with one hand and feeding him with the other - so be it.

He never imagined wanting and loving a man as much as his mate. Harry would give anything for him, even if it was his life.

But that's exactly why he's so depressed when Louis' heat levels off and he wakes up one morning without his Omega already mounting him or begging for his cock. As he gazes at his mate's sleeping form, he begins to think for the first time in three days. About the fact that Louis, already dazed from the heat, begged for the bonding. That felt more intense than anything else people have told him. Now what if Louis doesn't want it outside of his heat? Was his wish even content? How could Harry just go along with it and let his Alpha have the upper hand like that?

He's so scared of losing his Omega that he hugs the now colder and smaller body tightly and sheds a few quiet tears. Harry messes up and feels the need to destroy something. He gets so into it that he can't stand being next to Louis for a minute longer. Harry is afraid of the look of disappointment when he wakes up, at the accusations and what might come of it. He slowly gets up, covers Louis with the blanket because he no longer radiates heat and he doesn't want his loving mate to freeze.

Then he sneaks into the shower, thoroughly washes off all the bodily fluids from the last few days and throws on some clothes without paying any further attention.

Haunted and driven by his bad conscience, he goes outside, tries to let the cool morning air calm him down, but nothing brings improvement. Neither the lake lying calmly in front of him nor the rustling of the wind through the leaves of the surrounding trees.

As his gaze falls on the stack of wood lying on the side of the cottage, he walks towards it and grabs the ax stuck in one of the logs. Without thinking about it further, he vents his anger about himself and his fear of losing his mate on the many pieces of wood. His arms are already sore from the unfamiliar work and the sweat runs down his neck and forehead, but he doesn't stop. Only when he feels longing and confusion in his rage does he slow down and when love finally floods him, he stops completely and looks up. His Omega is standing in the open doorway, wrapped only in the duvet, staring at him with wide eyes.

Chapter Text

It feels wrong to wake up without a warm body. Pure confusion flows through him and a longing as if someone wants to rip his heart out. With every second that he regains consciousness he misses his mate a little more and he wonders how Harry could have left him so newly bonded and alone in the nest out of the heat. But then he feels fear and anger in himself and knows immediately that it is Harry's. His heart starts to beat faster and the need to comfort his Alpha is so strong that he immediately crawls out of the nest, just swings the blanket over him and follows the suction that will bring him to his mate.

As he opens the door, he sees his Alpha's eyes lift. Harry's curls are stuck to his forehead and neck, his eyes look up in surprise and there's a sadness in them that Louis has to swallow. But when his eyes drop and he stares below him, shoulders slumped as if he has committed a crime, Louis can no longer stand still and rushes to him. The grass tickles coldly on his bare feet and the freshness of the morning creeps into the crevices of the covers above him, but none of that matters. When he gets to Harry, he spreads out the blanket and encloses him in there.

"Harry, why aren't you in bed with me? I can feel your distress,” he whispers, watching Harry swallow.

"How much do you hate me?" he asks back quietly and narrows his eyes as if he could hardly bear Louis' answer.

"Why should I hate you? I love you dearly, my beloved,” Louis says, confused, stroking Harry's cheek. This time it's pure relief that he feels inside and Louis can't help but reach up and kiss Harry gently. Nothing feels better than his mate's soft, full lips. Resting his hands around his neck and standing on his tiptoes, Harry finally reacts and cups his face to deepen the kiss. Louis feels so safe and secure again and it's exactly what he needs so newly mated. Love floods every vein in his body. Every heartbeat brings Louis closer to Harry, to this gentle Alpha who was afraid he might hate him when it’s quite the opposite. Each of the gentle kisses is a firework of emotions and Louis never wants it to stop. The images of the past few days race through his mind, especially the feeling after he was bitten and Harry's knot swelling inside him, how it felt like their bodies and minds had merged.

When Harry breaks the kiss, he finally looks at him and a soft smile creeps onto Louis' face. "Shall we have breakfast and talk in the nest?"

"Yes. But then we should wash everything that's in it,” Louis chuckles softly and the next moment finds himself in Harry's strong arms carrying him inside and up the stairs bridal style. "I suppose we should," Harry nods, finally smiling again in agreement.

Harry carefully sets him down in the nest, kisses the tip of his nose and then makes his way to the door. "Make yourself comfortable Omega. I'll get us something to eat quickly."

But instead of staying in the nest, Louis gets up again and stands in front of the closet mirror, looking at his naked body covered with hickeys and biting marks but much more interested in seeing his mating mark. The realization that he is now wearing Harry's and no longer Ed's makes him carefully stroke it again and again with tears in his eyes. It's red against his skin and exactly as it should be, as it must be. Louis is Harry's and nothing has ever felt more right. Not even with Ed. He knew it after the first sex, but even if the memory of the heat is blurry, he can still clearly remember Harry sinking his teeth into him. And it was already clear to him then. This bonding is something else. More. More than he ever dared to dream.

Hearing Harry's footsteps, he averts his gaze and goes back inside the nest, tucking the covers over his lap as he sits down and greeting his Alpha back with a huge grin.

Harry silently hands Louis one of the two plates he is carrying and sits down next to him. There's a slightly tense mood that Louis can't interpret and neither of them says anything while everyone is eating their toast, only furtive glances are exchanged. When he has taken the last bite, he puts the plate on the ground next to the nest and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"Are you going to tell me why you're so weird when you should be happy we bonded?" Louis asks with a raised eyebrow. "Do you regret it?"

Harry hastily puts his plate aside too and moves closer to Louis, taking both of his hands in his own.

"No! I'm so glad you're my mate. I mean, just being able to say that makes me the happiest man alive,” Harry assures him promptly, his eyes darting wildly between his.

"But then why did you think I hate you? I still feel your insecurity inside me,” Louis says quietly and can't help but pout.

"Did you really want the bite and be my mate? Or did you just say it in the heat of the day? I was so damn scared you wouldn't feel the same way now that you're back to your senses!"

"Harry, you stupid, stupid Alpha. Of course I wanted it. I wasn't really under when I asked you to." Louis climbs onto Harry's lap at these words and places single kisses on his mate's face. "I promise you I wanted it and I don't regret it."

Harry sighs in relief and begins to stroke Louis' back up and down with his hands. "My beautiful Omega. My mate.”

Touched, Louis pulls him closer by his neck, rubs the tips of their noses together and smiles lovingly at him.

"We should talk about what happened during our bonding," he says quietly, twisting one of the curls around his index finger.

"I can sense your emotions," Harry replies.

"And I yours."

"Did it feel like that with Ed back then?" Harry wants to know and burrows his nose into the back of his neck and audibly inhales, which makes Louis giggle softly.

"No. Maybe it's because it's the second time I've received a mating mark?"

"I don't know. But no one I know who has told me about their mate has ever said anything like that.”

"Harry, could… could we be true mates? I know it's rare and I've never really looked into it, but I've heard stories from my mum... maybe I should give her a call."

Louis leans forward and rests his head on Harry's shoulder as he looks thoughtfully out the window.

"True mates...wow. I read about it once. Then we would be meant to be,” Harry replies, laying his head on Louis‘.

"Do you have any doubts about that? Even if we're not true mates, why else would I have dropped right at the first whiff of your smell?"

He hears Harry chuckle about his snubbed tone and gets a quick kiss on his hair from his mate.

"Now I know what Ed meant in his dream," Louis hints, turning his head the other way, closing his eyes and pressing his nose into Harry's throat. The scent of sandalwood immediately soothes the emerging sadness and it stays that way.

"The dream that made you sad? The morning as you sat outside? Do you want to tell me about it now?"

"Yes. Please don't think I'm crazy but ever since the touch deprivation got worse I've had dreams about Ed that felt so damn real. In the last one he said goodbye to me. Told me to get on with my life. With you. You could be there for me in a different way anyway, one that he couldn't have offered."

Harry just caresses his body as he talks soothingly, scenting him. Maybe it's because of that, or because he has a new mate, but he feels so loved and is in love himself beyond words, and it doesn't hurt to think about Ed anymore. Or to speak about him. He now understands what he meant in the dream. Everything has its time and the time with Ed was so beautiful and valuable. But now his time with Harry is to be enjoyed with Ed's blessing. He is so happy with his Alpha.

“Ed was a good Alpha. I hear it in your stories and I saw it in your pictures. It's good that he loved you when I didn't know you. Before our time came,” Harry murmurs softly.

"But our time is now. You are the reason."

Louis lifts his head and actively sends Harry through their bond all the feelings he has for him. When Harry sucks in his breath and his gaze softens, he knows it worked.

"You're the reason, heart's dearest," Harry replies, kissing Louis so hard it takes his breath away this time.

∰

Louis stands in the shower which he had more than needed, humming to himself while Harry wants to drive off to buy some new groceries, because both have used up all supplies during the heat. He still can't believe he's so happy again even though he was feeling so bad a few weeks ago. Again and again he looks over every trace that Harry has left on his body in the last few days and smiles to himself.

When he's dried off, he rubs his favorite cream on his body, wanting to be soft and smooth for his Alpha. The bathroom utensils have found their rightful place from the guest room, as have his few clothes in the closet. But when Louis enters the bedroom, he sees his untouched travel bag next to his bedside and decides to put these clothes in the closet as well. Just as he takes out the first shirts, he sees two packs of pills and remains shocked in his motion.

They lie there untouched and Louis has the feeling that he wants to start crying immediately. Since his touch deprivation is no longer there, because he met Harry and he has regular physical contact with his Alpha, he has stopped taking the pills for it. And has therefore also forgotten to take his birth control. He hadn't wasted a single thought on it in the last few days, all his thinking was focused on Harry.

"Shit," Louis whispers softly, rubbing his hands over his face in desperation. But he's been using birth control for years, so it sure has an effect even if he forgot about it for a few days. Right? Louis wants to convince himself, doesn't want to think about how many times Harry has pumped his hot warm semen into him in the last few days.

Louis always wanted children, it's not that. But they are so new together and actually Louis doesn't know anything about his mate. All of that becomes clear to him at that moment. He knows nothing of the dreams of the man he loves so much. Don't know what the future together will look like. Louis himself is puzzled. Pregnancy just wouldn't be right just yet.

Why didn't the two have all those conversations first? Why did everything go so damn fast and everyone was so caught up in each other that there was no room to ask all of the other's little secrets?

Louis is helpless and slumps in front of the bag, picks up the pill pack and stares at it. Then down to his stomach and back again. His brain just can't grasp that Harry probably bred him. That there's a hell of a chance that there's a little body growing inside him. At this moment he is so thankful that Harry is not near him, because he would have definitely smelled or even felt that something was wrong with Louis. Though he doesn't know how well their bond works, maybe Harry can sense how he’s doing even at a distance. He listens to himself and feels if he can discover something of Harry in himself and if he concentrates very carefully he can feel a small flicker of content. Definitely nothing Louis is feeling at the moment so it must be Harry peacefully going about his shopping.

He chews his lower lip thoughtfully and wonders if it would make sense to take a pill afterwards, but probably not and he would be too afraid of harming the little one that might nest in him. Without Louis being able to resist, images of a miniature of Harry and himself jump into his mind and he can't help but smile a little at that. What would their child look like? Louis‘ blue eyes and wild curls? Or green eyes with Louis straight hair. Or would it be a little offspring of one of the two?

Louis is so confused by his feelings. On the one hand the fear of how Harry would react and on the other hand an anticipation if his pregnancy should come true. He doesn't even know if he should tell Harry about his mishap, but he feels the need to talk about it, so he quickly reaches for the cell phone in his pocket and dials his mother's number.

It takes a long time before she answers, but when he finally hears her voice, he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Louis, how are you my boy?" she calls out happily, eliciting a crooked grin from him.

"Mom, I'm so happy. I have something to tell you. And to ask,” Louis replies, throwing himself onto his side of the bed as Harry's mattress is still on the floor.

“You also sound a lot better than all those months before. I assume it has something to do with Harry?”

"Yes of course, I haven't met another Alpha in the meantime," Louis giggles and crosses his legs, puts an arm behind his head and stares at the ceiling while trying to figure out where to start with his stories.

"Okay, I'm all ears."

“My heat came on unexpectedly. You already know I've been inclined towards this since my presentation as an Omega,” Louis begins and Jay sighs in response.

"Yes, unfortunately. It runs in the family, I can sing a song about it.”

"I know. But I thought I had a little more time until the suppressants stopped working in my body. Anyway, Harry of course accompanied me through it," Louis blushes a bit here, even though he's never had a problem talking openly to Jay about anything. "Mum, I- I don't know what happened. We bonded and I'm happy about it, but... It feels so different than with Ed. I can feel him inside me, I can feel his emotions and I can send mine to him.”

A loud gasp can be heard. "True mates."

"We assumed that too. But it's so damn rare. Can it really be?“

"Louis, that's out of the question. Everything you describe is exactly what true mates are all about. You said during your visit that you dropped when you first met Harry. It all makes sense. It wasn't just the touch deprivation that made you swoon at the smell of an Alpha. Your Omega recognized your true mate and it was probably all too much for your body.”

Both are silent for a moment and his mother's statement is consistent with his reflections.

"I love him so much Mum," he finally whispers softly.

"You can't believe how happy it makes me that you finally feel joy again after all the sadness about Ed. That you found love again. Does Harry treat you well?”

"What a question. He is wonderful. At this moment he’s shopping for groceries."

"How does he deal with you guys being true mates? And can you talk to him about Ed? Because I don't accept anything else. He will always be your first mate and I loved him like a son,” Jay's tone tightens, making Louis giggle again. His mother will probably never stop trying to protect him.

"He's handling it just as wonderfully. We can talk about Ed without it being awkward. You should definitely meet Harry soon, you'll like him. But there's something else,” Louis hints, holding his breath in tension.

"Okay," Jay simply answers and waits patiently.

"Mum, you as a midwife... how long does birth control last in the body if you forget it?"

"Are you saying you forgot it?"

"Yes," Louis simply answers and closes his eyes.

"Oh Louis," Jay whispers and Louis already knows the answer to his question from just that. "It doesn't last. That's why you have to take them every day. Oh my god I'm going to be a grandma."

And then Jay starts sobbing so that Louis can't hold back his tears either. "Your father would be so happy about it.“

Louis' father died of cancer five years ago and it was a tough time for his mother as well as him. Suddenly only the two of the family were left and Jay is still mourning her mate to this day and could therefore understand very well how bad Louis was after Ed's death. Although his mother took it better when her mate died. They already had quite a few more years together and weren't torn apart as early as Louis and Ed. Also, Jay has a friendship with benefits with one of her best friends since the death of Louis' father, both of whom have spent their ruts and heats together, so that Jay never gets touch deprived. It's a community of purpose and it took Louis a long time to get used to the idea. He never understood how Jay could handle it, it was always the last thing he could think of for himself. Ed, as a surgeon and with medical knowledge, had repeatedly explained to Louis that it was the best thing Jay could do in her situation. Of course he saw how right Ed was from that point of view, but emotionally it felt like a betrayal of his father. But at some point Louis simply ignored the knowledge about it and no longer secretly condemned his mother for it. It's her life she has to get on with somehow and in hindsight it was better than how Louis had dealt with it since Ed's death. Without Harry he would probably have slipped further into his depression and his will to live would have diminished.

"I'm sure he would be… but Mum, I don't know anything for sure yet. Please keep it to yourself. Even Harry doesn't know about my mishap."

"Of course I won't say anything. That's your job. But I'm pretty sure you're pregnant. True mates and the heat spent together with no birth control. It would be a miracle if it hadn't worked out."

Louis hears from his mother's happy voice that he definitely doesn't need to come up with any more arguments, she is confident and delighted. Just as he is about to change the subject, he hears a car pull up on the gravel in front of the house, the door slams and then the front door opens and a loud call of his name.

"I'm upstairs in the bedroom," he calls back, holding the phone away from his mouth so he doesn't yell in Jay's ear.

Immediately he hears the rumble on the stairs and then Harry is already in the door. A big smile on his face and a huge bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"Is he there?" Jay asks and Louis had briefly forgotten when he saw his Alpha that he was still on the phone with his mother.

"Yes," Louis just breathes and can't take his eyes off his mate, who comes up to him and sits on the edge of the bed.

"Give him to me, please," Jay demands, and Louis immediately holds out his cell phone to Harry.

"Who is that?" Harry asks, bewildered but smiling, and immediately takes the phone from his hand. In exchange, he hands Louis the bouquet of flowers.

"My mom. And thank you my beloved,” he says, getting a quick kiss before Harry puts the phone to his ear.

While Louis keeps smelling the different flowers in the bouquet, he listens to Harry's answers and observes him fondly as he exchanges the first words with his mother.

"Hi, I'm Harry," he smiles into the phone and then listens for a while.

"Yes, of course," "yes," and an affirmative "mhm," alternate so Louis can't really make out what his mother is saying to his mate.

"I'll give you your son back. It was nice talking to you Jay. I hope to see you soon."

With these words he hands Louis the phone again.

"I like him. Send me a picture of him, I have to see if the deep voice fits the way I imagine him,” Jay demands and Louis hears the grin in her voice.

"Only if it's okay with Harry. I don't just send pictures of my mate if it makes him uncomfortable,” Louis replies, but Harry already gives him a thumbs-up to signal that he's okay with it.

"Mmm so protective. You really love him, don't you Louis? I have to go to my shift, by the way,” Jay suddenly says in a hurry.

"Bye, Mum," Louis just grins and after Jay has made sure again that she has a photo by the end of her shift, they both hang up.

Harry then immediately pulls him up and onto his lap, sniffing his neck and scenting him. Their scents mix beautifully and Louis sighs in bliss.

"I missed you," Harry says softly, and without further ado begins to kiss Louis gently. Space and time are completely forgotten, only Alpha and Omega making sure that they make up for every minute they lost while Harry was away with tenderness.

Chapter Text

He finds his Omega with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth and concentrating over the stove after he returns to the kitchen. With Louis' permission he was putting the mattress back on his side of the bed and tidying up the bedroom.

His gaze glides over the delicate body, the narrow waist and the plump ass of his Omega and he has to hold back not to devour him immediately. Instead, he approaches him, wraps an arm around his waist from behind and rests his head on Louis' shoulder to see what he's cooking for them.

"It smells delicious, Lou. What are you cooking for us?

And yes, it smells great, but nothing beats the subtle caramel smell that dizzies him so close to his throat and is his favorite drug.

"There's a steak pan with veggies," Louis replies, pushing his back a little closer to him. Harry hums softly in approval and continues to hug his Omega while he cooks.

"Will you tell me what mum said?" Louis asks at some point and turns down the stove. Then he turns to him and demands a kiss with pursed lips, which Harry, of course, immediately follows.

"Nope," Harry just grins and laughs out loud as Louis immediately pouts and slaps him lightly on the chest.

"That's mean," Louis says, turning away in a huff, although Harry can sense through their bond that Louis is just pretending and he's not angry about it at all.

Harry himself finds it amusing to annoy his mate a bit, but still wants to keep the rather one-sided conversation with Jay to himself. Jay had asked him if he loves her son, will treat him well and if they will give her grandchildren in the future so that she can finally become a grandmother. Neither of them have ever broached the subject and he wants to carefully have a conversation with Louis before blasting his mother's wish down on him. Because if his Omega isn't ready for it yet or doesn't want children at all, he doesn't want to put his mother's pressure on him. His mate is sacred to him and he will make sure he doesn't burden him with anything. Not even his mother's wish. Of course, he himself had answered all three questions with a yes. Since he's been here at Lake Tahoe and found his mate, his entire worldview has shifted and he now knows exactly what he wants his future to be like. He also wants to discuss this with Louis.

"Shall I set the table?" Harry finally asks, torn out of his thoughts and gently caresses Louis' ass, who looks delicious in the tight-fitting jeans shorts.

Louis just nods absently while busy putting different spices into the food.

When the two of them are sitting together at the table a few minutes later, Harry has even lit a candle and Louis immediately begins to eat. Or rather to inhale the food in one go.

"Much hungry?" Harry giggles, wiggling his eyebrows.

Louis instead stops abruptly and looks up, a pink covering both cheeks and he just shrugs embarrassed.

"The heat has drained you, hasn't it?" he finally asks softly and puts his hand on Louis'.

"Um yeah, that'll probably be it," Louis just murmurs, and Harry immediately feels guilty when he sees how the Omega is now slower and more deliberate. He didn't want to give him the feeling that something was wrong with him or that he has to hold back. 

“Why did your heat come on so suddenly? I've asked myself that before. Or did you know it was coming?” Harry asks as he gets up and gets two more wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. When he puts a glass in front of Louis and already fills his, Louis waves him off with his hand and his mouth still full and shakes his head.

"What’s the matter? No red wine?” Harry asks, frowning, and when Louis has swallowed the food, he suddenly turns pale and the blush from before disappears from his cheeks.

"No, sorry."

"Do you want a white wine? A beer?"

"Just water, please," Louis murmurs, already shoveling the next forkful of food into his mouth. Harry almost feels like Louis doesn't want to talk further about the drink choices, which irritates him a bit.

"Okay, water it is," Harry says simply, frowning at his Omega. Not only does his smell suddenly include stress, he can even sense it in their bond and Harry feverishly wonders what he could have done wrong to evoke this reaction from Louis.

He decides not to go into it any further and hopes that Louis will come to him on his own if something bothers him. Instead, he now eats in silence himself and keeps glancing at Louis, who is already putting a second portion on his plate.

"Oh, to get back to your question. The Omegas in our family tend to have unexpected and irregular heats. I've actually suppressed my heats with pills since Ed's death because I didn't want to run the risk of being assaulted by strange Alphas if it would come up at a sudden and I found a lonely heat without Ed unbearable. But when my touch deprivation got worse I had to stop it because otherwise the effects of the two pills would have canceled each other out. I actually thought I had a little more time, but well, it went faster than I thought,” Louis chuckles quietly.

"Do you think it was maybe because we are true mates? And your Omega wanted to make sure that well… me as your Alpha- you, uh.. get pregnant?”

Louis chokes on his words and audibly gasps for air. Harry immediately jumps up and pats him on the back until Louis finally catches his breath.

"Are you okay?" he asks and bends down to Louis who takes a large sip of water. When he nods and smiles at him, he steals a quick kiss and then gets back in his chair.

"Harry, do you know what I was thinking about?" Louis says, looking at him thoughtfully.

"No heart's dearest, but I'm sure you'll tell me right away," Harry grins, taking a sip of his wine.

"We fell in love so quickly and... there was barely time to get to know each other. I hardly know anything about you. Just that you own my heart, my soul, I mean - you could even be a murderer and I would love you. But, I want to know everything about you,” Louis explains and Harry nods at his words.

"What do you want to know? Ask me anything you want to know."

"Are you a murderer?" Louis asks, giving him a cheeky wink that makes Harry laugh out loud.

"No, just the CEO of Canyon Moon with no real social circle," Harry finally replies.

"But why Harry? You are such a nice Alpha. Hasn't there been an interest in you in all these years? Or someone you liked? What about your friends and family?”

"No, it really was never an Omega that interested me in any way. I have a co-worker who has flirted with me on and off, but no - apparently it was you my Alpha was waiting for. Friendships I had when I was younger are all broken. I was too focused on my career. I spent day and night in the company. And it filled me up for years. Until it burned me out at the end. There was nothing left of what I loved so much. That's why I came here. You know the rest.”

Louis listens intently and his eyes become sadder the more he talks. Harry sees the pity in there and suddenly he has the Omega sitting on his lap, kissing him tenderly. Harry holds pure happiness in his hands and he pours all of his feelings into their kiss, wrapping both of his arms around Louis to keep him safe and secure on his lap. When Louis lets go of him, he strokes his hair with a loving look.

"And your family?" Louis wants to know and interlaces their fingers.

"They live in the same town, but I rarely see them. Only when I have a few days off. I now have a guilty conscience. All the years before, I never understood their allegations about it. Never understood why they were hurt about it instead of being proud that I put my career over time with them."

"Who all belongs to your family?" Louis continues his interview and looks at him so curiously that Harry's heart only softens a little more for him.

"My sister, my mum and dad. Mum and Dad still live in the same house as they did then while my sister Gemma has already found her Omega and she lives with him in a house of her own.”

Louis now begins to talk himself and this time it's Harry who listens attentively.

“My father died five years ago. Since then it's just mum and me. My best friend is Matt. He sometimes helped me when the touch deprivation got too bad.”

"Helped in which way?" Harry's tone sharpens immediately and he can’t stop the jealousy that is building in him.

"Only with cuddles. Although the last time he was, well... a little aroused. I kicked him out and haven't heard from him since."

Harry growls loudly at this, which Louis apparently finds funny as he chuckles softly, but calms him down immediately.

"Calm down Alpha. You are the only one for me. Matt knows he can't expect more from me. It was more of a natural reaction. Smells, gender and all that. But I really need to get in touch with him again. In my grief I also lost some friends. I just couldn't stand the happy people around me. Or their pitying looks. And they all reminded me of Ed because they were all our mutual friends. I've isolated myself so much that I'm actually similar to you."

They both look at each other sadly and hug each other a little tighter.

"We should really work on our social skills, huh?"

"We can do it together," Louis replies, and Harry immediately nods in agreement with a big smile. A long kiss follows and Louis rests his head on Harry's shoulder.

"Where are you from anyway? God Harry, I really don't know anything about you,” Louis murmurs and they pucker their mouths synchronously.

"From Sacramento. There is also the headquarters of Canyon Moon. And you?"

"From Jackson."

There is a short silence and Harry calculates the travel time that separates the two between their cities. Even if it's only an hour, Harry knows it's too much. And he also knows that the time in the holiday home is limited. Louis has to leave soon and just the thought of it causes his heart to clench painfully and his Alpha is furious about it.

"Louis, I want us to move in together. Just the thought of not having you with me when I get home from work stresses me out.”

"Me too, but where to? Your job is in Sacramento and mine is in Jackson. Although of course you earn more. It probably makes sense if I quit my job and move in with you. I'm sure I'll find something new."

"Is this okay for you? I still want to clear up a few things with my work anyway. My main focus is on you. I want to start a family with you, not devote my life to the company anymore. Is that something you want too?”

Louis then starts to cry, pure relief flows through Harry, which probably unintentionally his Omega sends through the bond.

"What's the matter my heart’s dearest? Were you afraid that I wouldn't find time for you?"

"That too- yes. But more than that you might not want to have children.”

Louis sobs so hard during his reply that Harry just helplessly pats his hair, not understanding why his Omega is getting so worked up about it. Hoping it helps, he rubs his face against Louis and scents him so he actually starts to calm down.

"Sorry I'm feeling a bit emotional today," Louis sniffles so sweetly that he can't help but coo about his mate.

"You don't have to apologize, you can let all of your emotions out with me," Harry replies softly and they both cuddle in silence for a few more minutes. Both happy that they found out more about each other and want the same thing.

For the rest of the day he watches Louis, who once again doesn't really seem to find peace. Harry wonders what it could be that is making his Omega so nervous, but decides to leave him alone as much as possible and not bother with questions. Louis asks him to go on a little hike again and of course Harry immediately agrees. But when the Omega goes to change clothes and comes down the stairs in shorts and a shirt from Harry that are much too big on him, all that is forgotten. His mate definitely looks too tempting in his clothes and his Alpha is once again taking over.

∰

Louis has to leave today and Harry has two more weeks to spend here. Although the Omega tearfully begged Harry to come with him and spend the rest of his free time in his apartment, and even though it took all his strength to go against his Alpha, he asked for Louis' understanding that he wants to stay here. Because he wants to clarify things with work and make some changes to the holiday home. The idea came to him the day before yesterday and should serve as a surprise the next time they come here together. He knows he will miss Louis terribly but it's only these two weeks and after that they'll be together for the rest of their lives.

Despite all this, he also has to hold back his tears as he escorts Louis to his car and puts his bag in the trunk.

"Give me your shirt," Louis demands with a pout and holds out his hand defiantly. Harry chuckles to himself but promptly pulls his shirt over his head, rubs it over his scent gland and hands it to Louis, who sniffs at it and then nods contentedly.

"Can I get yours too?" Harry asks, already fumbling with the hem of Louis' shirt. But he immediately slaps his hand away and clicks his tongue. His Omega is feisty today instead of emotional like the last days and Harry wonders if it's because of the farewell. Of course he can't be mad at him for a second, instead he just loves him a little bit more.

"Are you crazy? Shall I drive home shirtless? First you don't come with me, and then you want me to attract the attention of other Alphas?” Louis practically hisses the words and Harry really has to stop himself from laughing. Just as he opens his mouth to answer, however, Louis interrupts him. "I already put one of my worn shirts on the bed for you. And don't you dare touch yourself. There's only sexy times again when we're together."

Grinning, Harry shakes his head in amusement at his Omega and pulls Louis close to him.

"Even when I'm thinking only of you? Of your pink hole and your sweet slick?” Harry asks teasingly and instantly finds his way into his mouth with his tongue.

But Louis breaks the kiss and lifts his head proudly a little higher. "Nope. This is your punishment for being so stubborn and wanting to stay here.”

"We'll see each other again soon. I arrange everything with a moving company and pick you up personally. Please don't be so mad."

Harry looks at him pleadingly and finally his mates eyes soften a little. "Let's not say goodbye like that. And call me when you get there."

Harry gently kisses the tip of Louis's nose, who then presses close to him. Both breathe in their scents one last time, each scenting the other until Harry can no longer tell their scents apart.

"I'm driving now, otherwise I'll never be able to say goodbye to you," Louis says sadly and gets into the car. But Harry needs one last kiss and before he can close the door he bends down to him, grabs his face with both hands and kisses Louis until both of them can't breathe.

"I love you Louis. Take care," he says, smiling sadly, and closes the door of the car. Louis rolls down the window pane, "I love you too Alpha."

A long exchange of looks follows until Louis finally starts the engine and reverses out of the driveway.

They wave at each other again and again until Louis disappears from his field of vision. Harry can literally feel it pull into him, the longing immediately palpable and he doesn't know if it's his own pain about the farewell that he feels so strongly or Louis‘. Maybe a combination of them. Anyway, Harry promptly questions his decision and sighs, sneaking inside into the house and the silence and emptiness that pervades it now.

It's like a chill settles around him and it's not because he's shirtless. It's entirely his Omega's fault that stole his heart and he can't and doesn't want to imagine life without him.

He quickly wipes a tear from the corner of his eye and goes upstairs to look for Louis' shirt that he left him. He finds it folded neatly on his pillow and an envelope on top. Curious, he approaches the bed, pulls Louis' shirt over his head to wear his smell close to his body and has to smile about the fact that it only goes down to his navel and he's afraid that all the seams will burst.

A little calmer, with Louis' scent of caramel on his skin, he lies face down on the bed and excitedly opens the envelope, pulls out the letter and begins to read.

My dearest mate, 
you stupid Alpha,

If you read this letter, I'll be gone and already miss you terribly. I hope you don't feel any different and you crave for me. I still can't believe I have to drive home without you. You would have had your peace during the hours when I was working to clarify everything. But who am I kidding? Even your stubbornness I love so much that I can't really be angry with you about it. But you should know that I'm writing this letter very aggressively and with a dirty look. Imagine it Harry, picture me in your mind's eye.

Harry laughs out loud at this point and can visualize Louis' nose wrinkling and a frown forming on his forehead, his mouth pouting and the pen pressed far too hard to the paper. And yeah damn, he misses him just a little more with every word he reads.

But I want to end my letter with somewhat nicer words. You know, my beloved, since Ed's death I've practically forbidden myself to believe that you exist. A man I could love. And I never thought I could love anyone more than him. Last night when you suddenly rolled over and then lay in my arms instead of me in yours and you were asleep, I pinched my arm while you were lying in it. 'Cause it feels like a dream. I never want to wake up when it's like this. I want to stay by your side.

You're the reason!

I love you endlessly
Your Louis

Harry just misses Louis even more and lifts his shirt a bit to press his nose into the fabric. To distract himself from all this, he begins to follow his original plan with a sad expression. The quicker he finishes, the sooner he can surprise Louis with a visit. As if he'd ever get through two full weeks without his Omega. That was the craziest idea he ever had. The stupidest at that.

Chapter Text

When Louis takes the first step into his apartment, it already feels like he doesn't belong here anymore. Almost as if it were a photo album from an old life whose pages are the rooms and he flicks through them like a stranger. He drops his bag right next to the front door and walks through every single room. In the living room he sees himself and Ed sitting on the sofa while watching a movie together, in the kitchen Ed bending over and standing with his head in the fridge looking for something to eat, in the bathroom the two of them showering together, in the bedroom the two falling asleep while hugging each other. 

Sighing, he flops onto the mattress and looks over at the side of the bed that used to be Ed's. Slowly he caresses the mattress as if he were going over his body, but once again finds out that it doesn't hurt anymore. It feels only wrong. It feels so wrong not to be at Harry's cottage anymore, to be alone again even if it's only two weeks until they start their life together. And also that he is lying in the same bed of his deceased mate but with the mating mark of his new Alpha. It's like his old life doesn't belong to him anymore, like there's a cut and Louis feels like a foreigner in the apartment. Actually he doesn't know how he's supposed to get two more weeks around here. To take his mind off things, he pulls out his cell phone and texts Harry to say he's arrived safely and will call him later. Because he has the feeling that if he hears his voice at this moment, he will immediately flee the apartment and drive all the way back to Lake Tahoe. But he has to work tomorrow and confess to his boss that he's going to quit. It wouldn't be fair to let him down promptly and not help out at least the two weeks in the bookstore.

And so the first day goes by without Harry by his side. He writes his resignation, debates with himself whether he should wash the clothes he brought with him but decides against it because he smells a hint of Harry and the mixture of their two smells on all of them. Instead he packs the first things a moving company will drive to Harry's house in two weeks.

He packs all of Ed's old clothes in extra boxes and will donate them. Only two of the shirts that still carry his scent and are in the foil, he packs with the things that should come with him.

By the evening he is completely exhausted and can hardly keep his eyes open when he calls Harry snuggled up in bed.

"I thought you wouldn't call anymore," his Alpha answers immediately after the first ring and sounds more than relieved.

"Sorry my beloved. I've been packing all day."

"Don't overdo yourself. You have two more weeks."

"I can't stand the quiet of the apartment. In general, I can hardly stand it here.”

Emotions boil up in him that he can't grasp but make him sob loudly. Secretly, he knows why he reacts the way he does. Louis has always been of a gentler nature because he is an Omega and of course has shed more than enough tears since Ed's death. But since the heat he's felt remotely controlled and can't resist his emotional state. In the meantime he is also sure that he is carrying Harry's child under his heart, his significantly increased appetite alone is an indication of this. His life has taken such a turn that he can hardly keep up with realizing and understanding.

"Don't cry Omega," Harry whispers, his voice sloshing through the receiver so softly and lovingly that it does the exact opposite and only makes him cry more.

He would like to yell at him that he would like to do that, but that he is partly to blame for the fact that he is no longer in control of his feelings. That there is someone new who shakes everything up. But first he wants to be sure before he gives Harry hopes. Tomorrow he will make an appointment with his doctor to get confirmation. Now that he knows Harry has the same goals as him in life, he feels a lot better and isn't afraid to tell him, but doesn't want to disappoint his Alpha under any circumstances if he isn’t pregnant. 

"I miss you so much," Louis replies instead, hugging Harry's shirt he took to bed with him. Sniffing the scent of sandalwood and keeping his eyes closed, he imagines Harry lying next to him.

"Me too, heart's dearest," Harry replies and Louis immediately hears the sadness in his tone.

"It would be too nice if I could touch you now," Louis sighs and digs his nose a little deeper into the shirt.

"Mmm, what would you touch?" Harry whispers, and the deep voice and the way he asks it shoots straight into his cock, causing him to gasp softly.

"I would run my hands over every inch of your body," Louis breathes back, and images outright spring to mind of him doing just that yesterday. Worshiped his Alpha's body and Harry destroyed him in the best of ways. It was the best goodbye sex. 

"Tell me more, Omega. While touching you."

"Yes Alpha," Louis replies and has to be careful that he doesn’t come on the spot. Then he realizes that the two of them are apparently stuck in phone sex and it's the first time for Louis to do something like that. His hand slowly wanders over his nipples, which are more sensitive than usual. But the slight pain as he pinches them and rolls them between his fingers is arousing and his breathing quickens a little.

"I don't hear you," Harry says a little more seriously and demandingly and Louis imagines his Alpha pinching his nipples a little harder as punishment and does it to himself.

"I would lick with the tip of my tongue over your scent gland, further down your nipples, down your stomach and finally take your big cock in my mouth," here he hears Harry groan loudly, spurring him on to continue. "I would put my hands under your bum, knead your ass cheeks and push your lower body up so that I start gagging on your already hard cock."

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Harry inquires and Louis moves his hand further down to his own cock and grips it tightly as he immediately starts jerking up and down.

"Yes," Louis breathes, wishing it was Harry's much larger hand caressing his cock.

“I would grab your hair and hold your head while you take what I give you. I know exactly how much you love it when I get all Alpha on you and control you. Such a good little Omega, right?”

Louis whimpers softly and feels waves of slick escaping from his hole, actually wanting to keep his Alpha warm and wet who is way too far away and can't give him a knot.

"Yes, I love it when you take possession of me."

"Are you touching yourself, Omega? Is your bed sheet already full of slick?”

"It's all wet for you Alpha. I want your knot,” Louis mewls desperately. 

"Do you have a dildo? If so, get it out but don't use it yet. Not until I tell you"

Without another reply, Louis throws the phone aside, way too aroused to waste even a second, and reaches under the bed for his box where he keeps all kinds of dildos. He pulls out the largest, which has a replica of a fat knot approaching the size of Harry. He immediately throws himself back on the bed, runs his hand through his ass crack to catch slick and then to his dick to be able to slide over it better. Then he presses the phone to his ear again and hears Harry moaning softly to himself and sounds that indicate that he is jerking his cock wildly.

"I have him. God Alpha, I'm so horny for you," Louis says and licks his lips as he sees the big dildo beside him. He wishes nothing more to be filled out already and if it's not by Harry then at least with the fake knot.

"I am for you too. Just imagining how I bury my face between your round ass cheeks makes my cock harder and harder,” Harry replies, audibly aroused, and Louis picks up speed, his hand literally flying over his cock.

"Ahhh Alpha," Louis can only groan and the hottest images play in front of his inner eye. How Harry keeps his ass cheeks apart, the fine stubble that runs over sensitive skin and the strong strokes of his tongue around and inside his hole.

"Put your fingers in your needy hole and fuck yourself. Let me hear you Omega," whispers Harry and Louis immediately follows. He quickly turns on the speaker while continuing to pump his cock up and down, then uses his other hand to find his way into his entrance. The amount of slick allows three fingers to slide easily at once and the double penetration feels so good that Louis can already feel his orgasm looming.

"Oh fuck Lou. I hear how wet you are, the smacking of your fingers that get into your hole. I-uh, I'll be coming soon,” Harry moans loudly, his voice so raspy it sends lightning bolts through Louis' abdomen.

"I'll be there soon too," Louis squeezes out between his teeth and is now fucking himself with four fingers. His arm is already aching from the unnatural position but it doesn’t matter, the phone sex with his mate is way too awesome to even think about.

"Pull out your fingers. Now lick them off,” Harry demands, breathing heavily now. “How good do you taste, Lou? Hm? Come, tell me.”

Louis keeps his eyes closed as he puts in an extra effort to lick his fingers loudly, slurping to fire up his Alpha even more. "Hmm I taste so good, really sweet. I wish you could lick my fingers right now. Your tongue playing around my fingers. I love everything you do with your mouth Alpha. Oh God… it all feels so good.”

Louis pulls his fingers out of his mouth, clutching the sheets instead while his cock is already throbbing and he's rocking his hips wildly.

“Such a good Omega. Come for your Alpha. And now stick your dildo inside you,” Harry growls and Louis can hardly contain his orgasm. He quickly grabs the dildo, whimpers as his hole stretches around it and then comes in hot, long spurts onto his stomach. He imagines it being Harry knotting him and even though his mate isn't with him, it's an intense orgasm. Louis zones out and therefore hardly notices how Harry screams when he comes too.

"Alpha," Louis whispers, riding his high out on the fake knot and finally lying there exhausted. Both just listen to their rapid breathing for a while.

"Is your dildo still in you?" Harry asks softly at some point.

"Yeah, I'm just laying here trying to figure out how hot phone sex is. We should do that more often.”

"I'd prefer that I fuck you myself," Harry replies quietly and Louis can hear the smile in it. "Leave the dildo in. Make yourself as comfortable as possible heart's dearest. And then let's fall asleep together.”

Louis turns sideways and feeling so full, he imagines it was Harry's cock that hadn't gone down yet as he closes his eyes and curls up in his covers.

"Good night. I love you very much,” Louis says quietly, already sleepy.

"Sweet Dreams. I love you too." 

It doesn't take long for Harry to start snoring softly and Louis falls asleep with a smile on his face.

∰

The next few days passed Louis by like a gray mass. He had handed the termination to his boss, who was sad but understood the circumstances behind it. In order not to have to be alone in the apartment too much, Louis has been working overtime for the last few days and packed things together every evening so that he always falls asleep exhausted on the phone with Harry.

In the meantime there are only three days that he has to survive without him and Harry will finally pick him up on Sunday. The moving company is supposed to arrive tomorrow and Louis has his last day at work today. 

There wasn't much going on in the early shift, so he and his work colleagues had a small farewell party. While his colleagues toasted with champagne, Louis held on to his water, which had already garnered questioning looks. Louis blamed it on the fact that he was there by car and that he didn't want to drive home drunk. Nobody needs to know that he actually avoids alcohol because of the very likely pregnancy. Louis only got an appointment with the doctor in two more weeks and is already longing for it. In the meantime, he wants nothing more than to get confirmation and finally let his Alpha share in his joy.

When he now has his last shift behind him and as he discovers the last free parking space in front of his apartment and wants to park, his heart stops for a moment when he discovers his Alpha in front of the front door, who is already giving him a beaming smile. Surprised, he slams on the brakes too hard that he jumps slightly forward in his seat and is barely able to park the car properly. He doesn't wait a second longer and jumps out of the car and into Harry's arms who is already coming towards him. Harry holds him securely in his strong arms while Louis crosses his legs behind his back. In that moment of reunion, Louis realizes how much he's missed his mate and can't help but let out a heartbreaking whimper. His Alpha then rumbles and hugs Louis even tighter, sniffing his neck possessively and scenting him at the same time. The smell of sandalwood and the physical contact puts him in a frenzy that switches off his entire thinking and lets him act only on instinct. Still whimpering and whining, he takes Harry's face in his hands and lifts it from his neck so he can finally kiss his Alpha again. The kiss is so passionate that Louis can't even tell apart the feelings of the two that mix in their bond. It's like coming home, breathtaking and so intense that his stomach does somersaults. Neither of them has said a word yet, but it's not necessary because all that matters, the love between the two and the joy of finally having each other again is to be felt in their bond.

Harry's hands literally dig into his back until one hand finds its way under his shirt and runs along the bare skin of his back. Just from this little touch, goosebumps cover Louis' whole body and he moans softly into the kiss, pressing his lower body more against Harry's stomach, which then growls softly when he can clearly feel Louis' excitement.

“Open the door, Omega. And then to bed. Immediately. Without detours."

Harry sets him down gently, but his tone doesn't leave room for argument, so he just nods quickly, licks his lips to savor his Alpha's taste, and strides around him to unlock the door. Harry is close behind him, feeling his breath on the back of his neck as he barely gets the key in the lock over so much emotion.

"Alpha," Louis wails softly, letting go of the lock and turning to kiss Harry again. Everything is taking too long and he has no patience to go a second longer without another kiss from Harry. Harry pushes him against the door with his whole body, rubbing his own arousing cock against Louis's while their tongues dance wildly around each other and the slick can already be felt wet in his pants. Harry takes the key from him, somehow gets the door unlocked and before Louis can fall when it opens, Harry has already thrown him over his shoulder and hurries up the stairs to his apartment with quick steps.

∰

Louis watches their interlaced fingers resting on his mate's stomach, his head on Harry's bare chest and their legs intertwined. The soft pounding of Harry's heart, a soothing melody and the smell of his Alpha, the most beautiful perfume he wears on his bare skin.

"Why are you here already?" Louis asks softly, kissing the bare skin beneath him, finally able to talk to Harry after the two of them made intense love.

"I missed you. And before we go to Sacramento, I want to show you something at the vacation home. We're going to leave very early tomorrow and stay there one night until Sunday. Then we will go to my house. Much more to our home now,” Harry replies just as quietly, drawing figures on his back with his fingertip.

"But the moving company is coming tomorrow," Louis interjects, tilting his head up to look at Harry in amazement. The green eyes blink back happily but tiredly and he gets a soft kiss on his forehead.

“I have already settled everything. And paid enough. They will put everything away themselves, your car will also be driven to me by one of the employees and they will hand over the key to the apartment to your landlord.”

Louis looks critically at Harry. "How rich are you, Alpha?"

"Let's put it this way - you don't have to worry about anything, heart's dearest."

Louis then snuggles up again on his chest, pulls the duvet a little further over both bodies and inconspicuously strokes his stomach. So content with his Alpha by his side, he imagines with his eyes closed how it will be when maybe another little person will soon share their bed with them, snuggled together under a duvet and the culmination of their love.

"It feels like your joy is tickling in our bond," Harry laughs softly, rubbing his nose in Louis's hair.

He immediately feels caught. Of course, he can blame this overwhelming joy on finally having Harry back, but he doesn't want to run the risk of his Alpha reading it anymore. As nice as the bond is, in a case like this it also has its downsides.

"What do you want to show me in the holiday home?" Louis asks quickly to distract his mate, but he can't stop himself from resting his hand on his stomach.

"That's a surprise," Harry murmurs, and when Louis looks up, he sees his mate's eyes closed and a small satisfied smile on his face. And so Louis watches his Alpha for a long time as he drifts off to sleep and listens to his breath. He's not tired himself, it's only the afternoon, but he enjoys watching Harry, taking in every little detail and finally having him with him again.

Chapter Text

Harry keeps glancing to his side, a grin on his face that is already making his cheeks hurt, can't believe Louis is in the passenger seat next to him and they are taking their first ride together. Suddenly there is someone who fills his life in all situations. The passenger seat, the side of the bed next to him, the space in the wardrobe, soon his own house that is much too big for one person and best of all - his heart. His heart has never felt so full. Through the bond, he feels Louis in every vein and cell. His own body and soul now also belong in large part to his Omega, and if he thinks about it a little more, he's probably a whining mess behind the wheel. Although as an Alpha he was never that sensitive like an Omega, Louis did something to him and he would never have it any other way.

"Harry, I can sense your emotions. I love you at least as much,” Louis suddenly whispers, snapping Harry out of his thoughts, his small hand already on his thigh, which he immediately grabs and squeezes firmly.

"I just still can't believe you're mine. That you love me,” Harry says with a crooked grin and a quick sideways glance at his mate.

Louis' blue eyes look particularly bright today, a glow in his face that wasn't there before, and Harry thinks he's never looked more beautiful. Does love do that to him? If so, he'll make sure to fulfill his Omegas every wish to keep him happy - that's for sure.

"As if I ever had a chance not to love you. You're wonderful."

Louis frees his hand from the tight grip and instead scratches his neck for the rest of the ride.

Neither of them feels the three-hour drive in the presence of the other as really long, time really flies and yet both sigh almost simultaneously when they finally park in front of the holiday home. Louis is the first to jump out and breathe in the fresh air with his eyes closed while Harry walks around the car and hugs him from behind.

"I missed Lake Tahoe and I was only gone for two weeks. This place was always special with Ed back then, but with you here by my side, it's breathtaking. When we are old I want to live here.”

Harry listens to the Omega's words and hums in agreement.

"How could I bear not coming here for a whole year?"

"You were grieving Lou. And we would never have met otherwise. But we can always come back together now, nothing is stopping us.”

"Not your work either?" Louis asks uncertainty.

"I've settled everything. I will step back and only make important decisions in the background. Everything else is now done by other colleagues. We can come here once a month on a weekend? Or longer? It's up to you."

Louis turns around in the embrace and beams at him so much that Harry can't help but growl under his breath, because this Omega is his alone, the epitome of perfection and the possession overwhelms him, although no one is here to claim his mate or act like a threat.

Louis giggles and plants a quick kiss on Harry's Adam's apple and then looks curiously at the house.

"Didn't you want to show me something?"

"Yes, come on. And if you don't like it… just say so, okay?”

Louis just clicks his tongue as if to say that's definitely not the case, but Harry is still a little nervous. Hand in hand they walk towards the house and Louis's smell of caramel gets a little stronger, the tension about what Harry has been preparing to feel clearly in the bond. He quickly unlocks the door and Louis tears himself away from him to storm into the house while Harry follows him more slowly into the living room where his mate is already standing petrified. Louis‘ mouth hangs open as he looks around, and then he finally lets out a sob as he catches sight of a small table in one of the corners of the room.

Harry watches Louis as he slowly approaches it and slumps to his knees in front of it.

"Harry," Louis just breathes and Harry can't watch another second as the sobs shake the little body. He is with him immediately, kneels down next to him and pulls him into a sideways hug.

"I can take it down if you don't like it," he says quietly, beginning to scent Louis.

But Louis quickly shakes his head and exclaims in indignation, "No! It's perfect. You're perfect. To honor my late mate like that, not every Alpha would do that!”

Harry then silently watches Louis as he gazes at the small shrine for Ed for a long time and then finally runs his fingers over a photo of the two. It's the first photograph Harry saw at that time of them standing on the fireplace and was immediately drawn to Louis. Next to it is a large candle that smells like seaside woods, because Louis had once told him that it was Ed's smell. Next to it are all the letters that Louis wrote to him in a large brown leather folder. Louis carefully opens the lid of the candle and takes a sniff of it.

"Not quite the same as his smell but it comes close. Thank you my beloved. You've put so much thought in it,” Louis says, touched and still in tears, turning completely around to him and crawling onto his lap. He's promptly covered in kisses from his Omega on his face until they finally sink into long kisses, playing their tongues together and Harry completely loses himself in it.

When Louis finally lets go of him, his gaze wanders over the previously white walls, which are now painted a light blue, making the house look even more romantic with the dark wood as a contrast.

"Why light blue?" Louis asks. "It looks so beautiful. You really have a good taste, Alpha.”

"I'm not a designer for nothing," Harry chuckles softly. "The color reminded me of your eyes. Take it as a tribute to you, my heart's dearest."

Louis then sobs again, after finally calming down, and buries his face into his neck. His tears are moistening his own skin and all he wanted was to please his Omega. Instead, he gets him so emotionally upset that Harry now has a bad conscience. He strokes his back soothingly, scents him again so that Louis no longer smells of himself but only of Harry and spreads small pecks on his hair that tickle his chin.

"Please forgive me, it must be hard for you that everything looks different. I should have left everything the way you and Ed arranged it,” Harry says softly.

"You silly Alpha! It turned out beautiful. And- Ed's dead,” Louis swallows hard and raises his head, seeking his gaze. "This is your house now. And I love what you made of it. Always with me in mind.”

Harry just nods and runs his thumbs over his wet lashes, making Louis purr softly. "You always take such good care of me," Louis whispers softly, then kindly bites Harry's scent gland.

"I want to show you something else."

Harry gently pushes Louis away and they both stand up. With his arm around his waist, Harry's favorite spot, he leads him up the stairs and into the guest room. He completely changed that too. The white walls here are painted a dark pastel green though, as Harry knows how much his Omega loves the color of his eyes. This makes the room feel calm and inviting, and the thick beige curtains on the window only make it look cozier. On the floor there is a huge mattress with different fabrics in all color variations on it.

Harry points to it and breaks the silence because Louis seems to have lost his voice.

"The mattress is for you if you want to nest again. We can both live out your heat or my rut here if you want. I have ordered the most beautiful fabrics for you to choose from. You can choose which ones you like best. Some are very smooth and some are very soft. I will then have pillows or blankets made for you. Or you can just use the panels as it is, that’s okay too.”

Harry is almost relieved that Louis doesn't start crying again and just stares at him silently and open-mouthed.

"Is your speechlessness a good sign?" he asks, running a hand nervously down the back of his neck.

"Yes." That's the only thing Louis can say and then he slowly walks towards the mattress, touches the many fabrics and slowly runs his hand over his first favorites over and over again. Harry looks at the sight fondly, feeling like his Omega is completely lost in it.

"They are so beautiful, Harry. I would love to have a little bit of each. But this one is particularly great. Just feel how soft it is. If- if we ever have a baby, I want to wrap it up in it and cuddle it."

And this time it's Harry who is speechless. His stomach knots and jumps apart again and the love for his Omega has only grown a little more in this moment and with this vision of their future. He slowly approaches Louis, who then raises his head and, with a gentle smile, stretches out the cuddly beige fleece fabric. Harry can't help but close his eyes, running his fingertips over them and imagining a small bundle in Louis' arms. And then how he hugs both tightly.

"I can see it," Harry replies, opening his eyes again. Louis has pulled the fabric back to himself and is snuggling it against his upper body, his hands buried tightly in it and his face pressed into it.

"Do you need a moment longer or can I show you my last surprise in the bedroom?"

"Another?" Louis asks in amazement and stands up, still clutching the fabric to his chest and not seeming to want to put it back.

"The last one," Harry replies and stands behind Louis, covering his eyes with both hands and walking him slowly towards the bedroom. "Keep your eyes closed," he whispers in Louis' ear and lifts one of his hands to open the door, then puts it back over his eye and places Louis in the middle in front of the bed so his mate's gaze immediately falls onto the wall when he finally takes his hands away.

"Wow," is the only thing that Louis breathes and Harry also admires the artwork that stretches across the wall behind the bed. That was the most expensive part of his modification, but it was worth having one of the best painters come over.

The entire wall is a painting of Harry and Louis. The painter had to draw freely from his imagination, the pictures of Louis that were still in the house and the ideas of Harry because there isn't a common picture of them that he could use yet. When he saw the finished work for the first time, he stood in front of it for almost an hour, fascinated. Every brushstroke is perfect, as well as every little feature of Louis’ and Harry’s face. It shows their faces from the side, the tips of their noses touching, a slight smile on each of their mouths and their eyes locked in each other's. The painter has not forgotten even the smallest mole.

"I'm at a loss for words Harry. The words ‘thank you’ don’t even come close to what I want to say.”

"Don't say anything Omega, let me feel it," Harry replies, gently rocking Louis in his embrace from behind and already feeling the tingling in their bond.

∰

They're five minutes from Harry's house in Sacramento and he couldn't be happier about it. Louis has been quiet since waking up, pale and his smell weakened. He asked him several times this morning if he was okay, but each time he got the answer that nothing was wrong and the eighth time his Omega only hissed at him angrily that he should finally stop asking questions. And so he only keeps throwing concerned looks at the passenger side. Harry, who has never been in a relationship with an Omega before, doesn't really know if it's normal, if they just have days like this or if his partner is just hiding something from him. He's definitely going to call his mom today, who's an Omega herself, and ask her. He wants to arrange a meeting with her anyway when Louis has settled in a bit so that she and the rest of the family can get to know him too.

"We'll be right there, hearts dearest," Harry breaks the silence and runs a hand through Louis' hair, who immediately grimaces and straightens his fringe again in annoyance. Apparently his Omega doesn't want to be touched today either and Harry can only do everything wrong.

"Aren't you excited? Do you want me to drive you to Jackson and we can talk to your landlord about keeping the apartment? Is that why you're so quiet and in a bad mood?” Harry asks carefully.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Louis' head snap around and he gasps. "Of course I want to move in with you. It has nothing to do with you. Today just isn't my day.”

Harry decides to let it be and hope for a better mood tomorrow. Instead, he concentrates on the traffic and finally turns down a quiet side street to his house. It feels like an eternity since he was last here and he looks at the trees and the green grass that line the road. Harry lives in a quiet area with only one other villa nearby and they have just passed it. He only notices some time later that he is holding his breath as they drive up to his own house. 

It's the complete opposite of the cozy vacation home that Louis loves so much and also the small apartment he owned with Ed. What if his Omega doesn't like it? His house is big and modern and Harry had it built as he became CEO of 'Canyon Moon'. Almost sterile, inside and out. Flat roof, angular architecture and everything inside is glossy. What was otherwise so colorful in Harry's working world should be as clean as possible privately in order to be able to switch off. No decoration inside to make it easier for the cleaning lady who comes once a week. Harry himself only stayed in there to sleep anyway. But now with his snuggly Omega at his side, he's feeling nervous and tense about what he's going to say about it all.

When he has finally parked, he turns his upper body to Louis who looks at the house with an illegible expression. Louis' car is already in the driveway and still needs to be driven into the garage.

"I know it's...big and I don't know...white?! It's the same inside and, um, you can let off steam in it and do whatever you like," Harry stammers, afraid his house might only make Louis's mood worse. But for the first time today, Louis also turns to him and gives him a sincere smile.

“We design it the way we like it. I just realized how damn rich you are.”

"You are my mate, you are rich now too, heart's dearest. You get access to my account and I want you to buy what you like, okay?"

"Really?"

"Of course! I'll take care of you as your Alpha,” Harry has to refrain from growling out loud that his Omega thinks he won't share everything with him and give him the best of life.

"Thanks," Louis breathes softly and plants a quick kiss on Harry's lips. It was the first tenderness from Louis today and his lips are literally trickling.

Louis is already getting out of the car and after taking a quick look at his ass, Harry gets out as well and follows his mate who is already walking towards the house.

Harry smiles a little wryly as he unlocks the door and shows Louis around. Louis' boxes are in every room, but otherwise the house seems so empty and Harry wonders at this moment how he could ever feel comfortable here.

"It has potential, my beloved, but it definitely lacks of color and warmth." Louis' verdict could have been worse and Harry can only nod in agreement.

"Would it be okay if we just curled up in bed for the rest of the day? And tomorrow I can start unpacking in peace while you go to work. But, um, I'm just knackered and... never mind."

"You're really worrying me today, Louis," Harry replies, looking at Louis who keeps stroking his chest like it hurts. "Are you in pain there?"

Louis follows the gaze of his outstretched index finger and looks rather shocked, as if he hadn't noticed that he was rubbing it all the time and only realized it when Harry asked the question.

"Eh, no. It's okay.” Louis puts his hands in his pockets and gives Harry a puppy look he can never resist. "Will you show me your, um, our bedroom?"

Harry frowns, but not wanting to upset his Omega again, says nothing. Instead, he takes him by the hand and leads him up one floor. The bedroom is just as white as the rest of the house, even white bed sheets. The only spot of color in the room is a picture of Harry and his family that sits on the bedside table and immediately draws Louis's attention. He steps up and picks it up, glancing back and forth between the picture and Harry. "Your mum and sister are very pretty. You all three look alike.”

After that he says nothing more, strips naked and lies down under the covers. Harry needs a moment to process that Louis is really lying in his bed and that he isn't dreaming about it all. When his Omega snorts impatiently, he undresses as well and quickly follows him to bed, even though he's not a bit tired. Louis has his back to him so he slips his arm under his head and spoons him from behind while hopefully unobtrusively rubbing his hand down his torso, especially across his chest to make sure Louis isn't injured or anything unusual can be felt. But everything is as always. Except that Louis stops his caresses and keeps his hand on his stomach.

Doubts rise in him. Did he do something wrong? Was the renovation too much of a good thing and he scared Louis off with it? Made him think maybe Harry wants too much and too fast? But they are true mates after all, right? They belong together. But why is Louis so damn cold to him today? In his brooding, he doesn't even notice how Louis fell asleep in no time. Harry enjoys the physical contact with his mate a little longer, loosens his hand under Louis now slackly one and strokes the tender bare skin again, smells his neck and spreads soft kisses on it. He then slowly pulls his arm out from under Louis, pulls the covers over him and quietly gets out of bed, picking up his clothes from the floor and then walking out of the bedroom.

Still on the way downstairs he rings his mother who answers shortly afterwards.

"Harry, nice to hear from you. Did you pick up your mate? Did you get home safely?"

"Hi Mum, yes he's sleeping now."

"Oh but it's only noon. Did you overwork him? Harry Edward Styles, I hope you treat your Omega properly!"

"Muuuum," Harry growls. Because nobody - not even his own mother - accuses him that he wouldn't do anything for his Omega. "He's been in a bad mood since he got up. The last time he was that weird, he got his heat. But that was only 3 weeks ago. It can't be that time again, can it Mum? He told me they would come unexpectedly and irregularly, but..."

"I don't know honey. My heats have always been regular. Maybe you should ask him yourself. What else does he have?”

"He's pale and I don't like it. Just like that his scent is weaker today. And earlier he kept rubbing his chest. What if he has something with his heart?”

"Oh," Anne, his mother, replies only.

"What oh?"

"Nothing, um, I just bumped myself. I think you should ask him personally what's going on. Let him sleep today, I'm sure he'll be in a better mood by tomorrow. I have to go."

"To where? Why are you suddenly so weird? Is there something in the air today that makes all Omegas moody?”

"I pretend I didn't hear that. See you soon Harry.”

And then he hears it tooting. He stares at his phone in confusion before finally locking it and putting it back in his pocket. Harry is definitely not any smarter than before, rather more confused and he has the feeling that his mother does know something and has turned him off.

Frustrated with the Omegas in his life, he stomps into the kitchen and angrily begins chopping fruit he's had his cleaning lady buy, so they'll have something to eat when they get here. After he has aggressively cut up a banana and an apple, he can already cut the mango more sensitively and has a bad conscience about not being there for Louis properly. He will let him sleep a little longer, then feed him and spoil him with a hot bath for two. And tomorrow, if the mood is better when he gets home from work, he'll try again to figure out what's wrong with him or if it really was just a bad day.

Chapter Text

Louis is nervous, unbalanced and annoyed because he hates his mood swings. It is now clear to him that he is pregnant without even going to the doctor.

He has never felt so externally controlled, his body and hormones do what they want with him and the worst thing about it is that his Alpha can't seem to do anything right anymore. Harry was already at work when he woke up this morning and just knowing that made him cry - because what was he thinking? He didn't even wake him up to kiss him goodbye. First sad and then angry, he stomped through the rooms on the top floor, slammed the doors and then tried to cool off with a warm shower. But the jet of water from the shower hit his sensitive nipples too hard and that was the next thing that made him get irritated out of the shower. Morosely he had pulled on one of Harry's worn sweaters and comfortable leggings and when he came into the kitchen his heart had clenched with emotion when he saw a plate of toast and fruit and a small note from Harry.

You slept so peacefully and looked so cute that I didn't want to wake you up. I can't wait to give you giddy kisses and hug you when I come home later. 

Then he started crying again and inwardly berated himself for being so disappointed in his Alpha when he woke up and when he actually was so sweet for leaving him this. Louis was talking to the little one that had nested inside him during the meal and was begging it not to get his mind all over the place. And how much he loved it and his father too. He kept taking deep breaths, concentrating on it, and eventually settled into a reasonably calmer mood. With his eyes closed, he traced the bond in him and could faintly detect a trace of stress. Harry was back at his job and apparently so engrossed in it that Louis got worried. His mate was so recovered the last weeks and Louis was afraid now he would fall down a hole again which left him stressed out. Even if he wanted to step back, Harry had explained to him that it would still take a few days until he had handed over all the tasks and explained them to his colleagues.

And so it's been a few hours now since he’s busy clearing out his boxes and finding a place for the contents in the big house. What would not have been a problem for him before is now almost a task that makes him despair because Louis is exhausted. He was already after the first box. This leaden tiredness that runs through his body is driving him insane, it's not how he knows himself and he doesn't want to accept that this is now a new condition with which he should live. From his mother, who is a midwife, he knows that many Omegas struggle with fatigue and mood swings during pregnancy, but he always thought it wouldn't feel that strong. In desperation, he sinks onto the floor in the living room next to the open box with his favorite books and stares into the empty space. By tonight, when Harry gets home, he actually wants to have unpacked all the boxes, shopped grocery’s and cooked for his Alpha. But a glance at the clock reveals that it's already four in the afternoon and he's not even halfway done with the boxes. Once again tears well up in his eyes and he pulls his legs up and rests his head on them. He allows himself this renewed moment of weakness and sobs softly to himself. The tears sink into the fabric of his pants and he doesn't care. He's a bad Omega - that's for sure. Can't he control himself a little more and calm down? Just because he's pregnant, he can still do all this, even if he's tired and in a bad mood. Louis gets so into it that he doesn't hear the door open and is startled when he suddenly smells sandalwood and a hand rests on his shoulder.

"Lou, what's going on?" Harry asks breathless, who is now kneeling in front of him and gently lifting his face with his fingers on his chin. "Oh my little Omega."

Harry's gaze is so soft and loving that Louis just cries more and his vision is blurred. For a moment he has the feeling of losing his mind, because who cries so hard about such trifles?

"Ha- Harry," he just sobs, throwing himself forward onto his Alpha, who catches him directly. As so often in the last few days, he begins to scent him again and Louis draws in the smell strongly on his scent gland. Due to the stuffy nose from crying, it's not enough and leaves him a bit desperate. Louis is a mess.

"I felt you so strongly through our bond as if you were with me and so I came straight home. What's up, heart's dearest? Don't you feel comfortable here?"

"Oh god I didn't want you to leave your job because of me. I-, I'm such a bad Omega. I didn't even prepare food for you. And have a look at the boxes, I almost didn't manage to clear anything. I wanted everything to be nice until you come home and to have the fridge filled with delicious things. And instead I'm so tired and just crying. I'm sure you already regret being with me,” Louis babbles, sobs and stutters. It doesn't matter how he affects Harry now anyway, he'll definitely break up with him.

"Lou, hey..." Harry says softly, holding him up as Louis slumps more and more. "Louis, look at me," he asks again, more seriously, causing his Omega to react.

"How about you build yourself a nest? I can help you with it if you like. And when you've calmed down, tell me what caused you to be in such distress. And no, I don't regret anything. I've never been happier than with you.” Harry then gives him a long, tender kiss, wiping his tears from his cheeks. "Okay?" he asks again when Louis doesn't respond.

Louis just nods in confirmation and stands up, his body now even more exhausted from the crying fit.

"Do you want me to help you?" Harry asks, right next to him as he gently rubs his back.

"No, I need a moment alone."

Louis knows he seems cold, but he wants to get used to what it's going to be like when Harry breaks up with him. As if only an Alpha in the fresh phase of being in love would last long with a moody Omega like him. He's not even surprised that Harry doesn't stop him and just let him go upstairs.

Louis drags himself up the stairs, goes into the bedroom and no longer has the strength to put a lot of love in a nest. Instead, he uses the bed, randomly grabbing some of Harry's clothes from the closet and throwing them in a big pile on the bed, which he just spreads out slightly with his hands. He places Harry's pillow on top of the nest and then throws himself onto it. His tears have dried up now and he just feels empty and numb. The scent of Harry's pillow is the only thing he smells as he just looks out the floor-to-ceiling window. He doesn't know how long he's been lying there, and he doesn't react when Harry enters the room.

"Louis, I ordered food. Come sit up and we can eat together in your nest,” Harry says quietly while Louis sensing his Alpha's insecurity in their bond.

Without a word, he sits up and keeps his eyes down as the mattress dips and Harry sits next to him. He just takes the plate with a delicious smelling pasta from his hand and stares at it.

"Please eat something," Harry pleads.

Louis complies and suddenly realizes how hungry he is. He knows it's not sexy as he practically scoops the noodles into his mouth, but he couldn't care less at that moment. When his plate is empty he lifts his head for the first time, puts it next to him on the bed and looks at Harry sheepishly.

"Thanks," Louis breathes and has the strong urge to kiss his Alpha, who hasn't eaten much himself, which a glance at his plate reveals.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Harry, you don't have to be so nice to me. I can understand if you want to break up and you didn't imagine a relationship with me like that."

Harry's eyes widen at his words and then his mouth twists into an angry line as he sets his plate down on the floor next to him.

"Omega, you know I love you very much, but if I hear nonsense like that coming out of your mouth again, I'll forget myself!"

Louis flinches when he hears the Alpha's soft growl and lowers his head again.

"What makes you think I'd want to break up? Just because you're imbalanced? Believe me, nothing can let me let you go. You're mine.” Harry growls those words as well, and by keeping his eyes down Louis doesn't see him literally lunge at him, gently pushing Louis back onto the bed and rolling onto him. The weight of his Alpha on top of him and the face with fiery green eyes above him takes his breath away and pure love floods their bond. Harry lets him know what he feels for him and if Louis hadn't shed all his tears for today, he's sure he would start all over again.

"Harry, I-" he tries to explain, but Harry shakes his head and presses his groin against his, rolling his hips and making Louis gasp.

"You shut up now! I don't want to hear another word from your pretty mouth, you understand? I don't care if you didn't manage to clear out the boxes, or you didn't cook, or if you didn’t go shop grocery’s. The only thing that matters to me is that you're okay. And you've been in a bad mood since yesterday. And I also know that you won't tell me what's really going on. But I have faith in you that you will come to me and talk when you are ready. Because we are mates, Louis and mates talk to each other. Am I right?"

Louis doesn't dare answer and just nods, a small moan being the only thing that escapes his mouth as Harry presses his impressive erection against his own.

"Good. And until you finally talk to me, I will spoil you and you will take what I give you. 'Cause you're a good little Omega who craves the big knot from his Alpha, am I right again?”

Again Louis just nods and then there’s nothing Harry stopping. He seals his lips to his mouth, kisses him hungrily, and shortly thereafter he’s naked. His Alpha is on a mission and Louis feels so loved and desired that all the horrible thoughts from earlier are quickly forgotten.

Louis is so possessed of lust himself that he rips Harry's shirt apart so that the buttons fly off around them and heedlessly slips it off his shoulders. Harry frees himself from the rest of the clothes in no time at all and is already immersed in him the next moment. Louis feels high as his mate fucks him fast and hard, just what his Omega needed after that day. Nothing else matters more than that heavy body on top of him and that big cock inside him. Louis keeps running his fingernails down Harry's back, only spurring him on more, his pace picking up and Louis uttering a mixture of moans and babbles. It doesn't take long for either of them to come, the atmosphere too heated to endure for long. Even if the meltingly hot sex is over quickly and it was more than wild, it was good and Louis is more than satisfied when Harry rolls off him.

"I'm sorry," Louis says quietly when they've caught their breath and Harry can't stop kissing his torso. “I have an appointment with my doctor in two weeks. Maybe there's just something wrong with my hormones.”

Louis hates lying to Harry and he doesn't even know why he just says what he's so sure about by now. But for whatever reason, he needs official confirmation first.

"When exactly?" Harry just asks, now sniffing down his neck, giving kitten licks at it, causing goosebumps all over Louis' body.

"On Friday August 2nd."

"Oh,“ is the only thing Harry replies.

"What does that mean? Why oh?” Louis asks, puzzled.

"There's the party that my colleagues planned for me because from then on I'll only be working from home most of the time, so it's a small farewell. I wanted to take you and introduce you to everyone."

"What time does the party start?"

"At 5 p.m. Do you think you're back then?"

"I have my appointment at 4 p.m. and I don't want to postpone it either. But I'll follow, I promise."

Louis strokes Harry's cheek and gives him a quick kiss.

"Okay," Harry nods, and Louis just sees some concern creep into his Alpha's eyes again.

∰

Two weeks later, Louis is parked in front of the doctor's office with his heart pounding wildly and has to take a few deep breaths in and out to keep from hyperventilating. Today it will be certain whether he was right or his hormonal balance is really messed up.

Louis has already dressed up and is wearing a new elegant suit that Harry had bought for him so that he could go to Harry's company immediately after the appointment. However, he was more than uncomfortable during the journey and gratefully he finally can get out of the car. He stretches briefly in every direction, gently strokes his stomach and then goes into the practice. It's weird being back in Jackson, but he has faith in his longtime doctor and was happy to make the hour-long drive here.

"How can I help you?" asks the nice woman at the reception and gives him a friendly smile.

"Louis Tomlinson, I have an appointment."

He listens to the brief clicking of the keyboard and is then asked to take a seat in room 2, the doctor would be with him any moment. With springy steps he walks down the hall and takes a seat in a chair at the doctor's desk.

He cannot prevent his leg from wiggling nervously and is grateful when shortly afterwards the doctor enters the room and shakes his hand.

„Mr Tomlinson, nice to see you again. You look a lot better than when you last visited. I'm assuming the pills helped against touch deprivation?"

The doctor sits down in his chair opposite him and looks at him curiously. Louis clears his throat and wiggles his butt back and forth in his chair.

"Um, well… they helped, yes. But I have a new mate and I suspect I'm pregnant."

"Oh really? Glad to hear you found a new love. How come you suspect a pregnancy? If I read correctly you are on birth control,” the doctor says, looking through his chart.

"Yes, but I forgot to take them," Louis replies, feeling his cheeks flush. "And I have mood swings and an awful lot of tiredness."

"How long has it been since your last heat?"

"Four weeks."

"Well, then let's see if you're right," the doctor winks, who already gets up and motions him to follow him. "Please undress your lower body. Because you are still in a very early stage, if you are correct, we cannot yet see the baby through the abdominal wall. I will insert an ultrasound head into you. Okay?"

Louis nods in agreement and then disappears into the small cubicle to free himself from his suit trousers and underpants. Then he gropes his way towards the chair and stares at the ceiling. He absolutely hates sitting with his legs apart in front of the doctor and tries to relax to allow the ultrasound probe access, after all it is used to confirm his pregnancy and is probably the lesser evil as he begins to think about the birth.

“I'm starting to insert it to you now. You can see everything on your right side on the screen,” the doctor explains and Louis imagined the penetration to be much worse. He feels almost nothing of the alien object inside him and instead just stares at the screen in fascination. Louis can't really see much of the black and white mass and asks uncertainty, "And?"

“See that little bubble there and that little jelly bean in the middle?” the doctor asks, leaning forward a little to point his finger at the spot on the screen. "This is your baby. Congratulations. Everything is developed in a timely manner and I'm sure we can already hear the heartbeat on your next visit."

Louis bursts into tears again like all the last few days. His heart is racing, his stomach is somersaulting and now that it is so real and he sees it, he can no longer resist the love for his little gummy bear. The protective instinct kicks in and he puts one of his hands on his stomach, rubbing it, still staring at the screen.

"I assume they are tears of joy?" the doctor asks, changing his perspective of the baby from time to time as he swivels the device inside him a little.

"Absolutely yes," Louis replies breathlessly. "Can I have a picture?"

"Of course. I'll print it out for you and you can get dressed again."

Louis is disappointed when the doctor pulls the ultrasound probe out and the screen doesn't show his baby anymore but nothing can really spoil the happiness of being pregnant and once he's dressed and takes the picture like it's a treasure he can only grin wider. 

"We'll see each other again in four weeks. You are welcome to bring your Alpha with you to the appointment. Here are some more pregnancy pamphlets with helpful tips.”

The doctor shakes his hand and they say goodbye. He makes a new appointment at the reception and then storms out of the practice and to his car. He wants nothing more than to tell Harry about their happiness growing in him right now and with one last look at the ultrasound picture he drives off.

The streets are relatively free and so he arrives punctually an hour later. A look at the clock reveals that it is 6:15 p.m. and the celebration has been going on for over an hour. Louis has never been in Harry's company but follows the voices through the building which are getting louder and louder. For a moment he is overwhelmed by all the many people and smells in the large room, the music is blaring in his ears and he immediately puts a hand on his stomach to protect it, his gaze searching over the heads of the many people. And then he sees his favorite curly head and he pushes his way through the foreign bodies. But when his gaze falls on Harry and the Omega pressing at his side, his blood immediately starts to boil and all self-control is forgotten.

Chapter Text

Harry has been trying to shake John off of him for several minutes, always respectfully and kindly. Because even if he has been trying to flirt with him for years, he is still an Omega and therefore sensitive and the weaker gender. But apparently John has already drunk too much alcohol to control himself and to understand his dismissive posture.

"Please John, leave me alone. It's embarrassing how you act. I have a mate. Better keep an eye out for another Alpha,” Harry hisses through his teeth, wiggling his arm from which John is hanging while he just smiling lovingly at him.

“Your Omega is not here and it stays between us. Come on Harry, just for the sake of goodbye… just once.”

Just as Harry is about to use a sharper tone, even his Alpha tone if needed, he suddenly senses a pure rage in their bond and the smell of caramel that he hadn't noticed in the crowd before. He looks to the side and sees Louis snorting and murderously looking. Harry knows he shouldn't find the sight of his angry mate so sexy, but here he is. Harry pauses and can only look at his Omega, who angrily approaches them, but his gaze is directed at John, who has now also noticed that Harry's attention is no longer on him and follows his gaze. Harry glances at John who frowns questioningly but then turns back to Harry and runs his hand down his arm. Harry has never heard an Omega growl before, it's nowhere near as frightening as from an Alpha, but Harry is impressed. Despite everything, he tries to send soothing feelings through the bond, which now earns him an angry look himself.

"What do you think?" Louis says in an unusually deep and calm voice as he finally stops in front of them and gently nudges John's shoulder back.

"I'm flirting," John just shrugs, not giving Louis another look.

"You stop it right now. This is my mate. My Alpha!” Louis screams now and snatches the glass from the hand of a woman standing next to him, a designer, who gasps in shock. The people standing around have now stopped all their conversations and are watching the spectacle in shock.

"You can save yourself the words, heart's dearest. I've been trying to get him to understand that for a long time,” Harry says quietly, stepping to Louis' side, trying to calm him down and scent him. But Louis is furious and ignores him.

"Now don't act like you didn't like my attention Alpha," John replies, crossing his arms across his chest, visibly unimpressed that Harry has taken his place at his mate's side and Louis, whose head is now red from anger.

"Don't call him Alpha you bitch. That's just what I call him. He‘s mine. And the father of my child. And if I ever find out that you've taken another step too close to him, I'll claw your eyes out. Do you understand?"

While Harry is still trying to process Louis' words, he has already thrown the glass over John, turned around and hurries out of the room with his head held high.

Harry immediately rushes after him, meanwhile one of his other colleagues pats him on the shoulder and yells "Respect Harry. You have a feisty Omega, I like it."

But Harry just shakes his head in disbelief - because what the fuck?

"Louis!" he calls after him, but his mate is already turning the corner and Harry starts to run. "Hey, wait!"

Harry is fast and with his long legs he catches up with Louis a short time later, pushes him against the wall and encircles him there with his body. Louis' eyes stare at him wide, the fire behind them making them dark blue, his breath rapid on his skin as Harry's face moves closer and closer to his.

"What did you just say, Omega?" he whispers so softly that he's afraid Louis hasn't heard. Louis' eyes immediately fill with tears and he nods slightly, taking Harry's hand without taking his eyes off him and placing it over his stomach. Harry has to swallow and try not to faint because words can't describe what he's feeling inside.

"Is it true? I'm going to be a father? And you announce it so incredibly sexy and angry like it’s nothing?” he asks and presses his hand a little more on Louis' stomach to underline his words. "What am I going to do with you, little Omega?"

"It is true my beloved. We are going to be parents! And I'm sorry for saying it like that, but I had to blow off steam when I saw this guy glued to you."

"Oh believe me, I’m going to blow something too. My sexy pregnant Omega.”

Harry knows it's probably different for many couples when they find out they're pregnant - more emotionally, with tears and shouts of joy. Instead, he's more than turned on by his mate after his fiery demeanor, and it's as controversial as their get to know. And for Harry, it's perfect. Everything related to Louis is perfect.

Louis puts his hand on Harry's and, with a raised eyebrow, moves it further down to the bulge in his dress pants, making Harry growl softly.

"Ohhh Mr. Styles, you should show me your office. And we should test the stability of your desk,” Louis murmurs softly, squeezing his lower body even more into his hand and pulling Harry’s head down towards him with both hands buried tight in his hair. Hungry, the Omega finds his way into his mouth with his tongue while his hands rub over his shirt under his jacket.

"Careful Lou, I don't want to have destroyed the next shirt."

"Take me to your goddamn office, Alpha."

Harry can't resist a harsh laugh but then complies with his Omega's request, it's a miracle that nobody has caught them in the hallway and what could be a nicer end than one last visit in his office with his mate.

"Come on," Harry says simply, grabbing Louis and dragging him to the elevator, pressing the button for the upper floor, and is then straight all over Louis again. The kisses are hot and sloppy and a small body that rubs against him and immediately robs his mind. Without breaking the kiss, he shoves Louis out of the elevator when they arrive, down the hall while he's already fumbling with the buttons on Louis‘ shirt, and they practically fall into his office door. The desk is empty, since he had already cleared everything, it now offers enough space to wreck his mate here.

"Strip for me," Harry demands, hastily closing the door behind him, his gaze never leaving Louis. Without a trace of shame, Louis lowers his jacket to the ground, makes a show of undoing the remaining buttons of his shirt, which he twirls around his finger again before it flies into the corner of the room. Harry's gaze scans every inch of his mate's torso, noting the nipples that stand erect and look darker than usual - presumably from pregnancy. But Harry doesn't have much time to think about it, because Louis undoes his pants, slowly and teasingly so that Harry growls softly and Louis giggles cheekily. His hips wiggle provocatively as his pants slide to the floor and then catch his breath - Louis is wearing something he's not seen on him before. An innocent looking fine lace panty that can barely hold the size of his erect cock.

"I dressed up especially for you today, Alpha. Do you like it?” Louis asks lasciviously and walks towards him with swinging hips, leans against him and stands on tiptoes to reach him for a kiss. Only then does Harry notice that his mouth is open and he can't help but put his hands on each cheek of his ass and knead them firmly under the fine fabric.

“You are so damn sexy Omega. If I hadn't already bred you, I would now."

At this, Louis whimpers softly and Harry picks him up, his feet immediately crossing behind his back and Harry walking with him to the desk where he sets him down. Harry takes the time to tease his Omega himself now, small kisses behind his ear let Louis mouth leave the first soft moans and his lower body bends towards him needy. Then he slowly kisses his neck down, sucking his mating mark for an extra long time, which makes Louis howl with pleasure. Down to his nipples where he sucks and runs his tongue around them. He then kneels between his legs to kiss Louis' belly, showering the little life within with love before turning back to his Omega's pleasure.

"Nothing can happen if I fuck you hard right away, can it?" he assures quietly between kisses.

"No. But please give it to me already," Louis wails and wiggles his bottom back and forth on the desk.

"Patience, hearts dearest. First I have to take a closer look at the panties,” Harry murmurs and now continues kissing his way to his actual destination.

He pauses with his face close to Louis' groin and can't believe how beautiful and sexy his mate is. How lucky he is.

"Lovely," he whispers, taking a closer look. He can see Louis‘ cock through the tiny pants, which is almost transparent, and he immediately feels a slight tug in his groin. Harry grips Louis‘ thighs tightly and licks the sensitive skin on the insides, causing Louis to throw his head back and his cock twitch visibly. Harry cups his hips in his hands and brushes the tip of his nose over the bulge now, smelling its lovely sweet scent which is almost sweeter than usual and Harry would be happy if he could just do that for the rest of his life. But his own cock presses uncomfortably against his pants and demands more.

One of his hands travels back to Louis' lap and Harry feels it make his mate tremble. Louis breathes heavier and Harry starts rubbing his cock through his panties with his hand. Louis opens his legs even wider for him and Harry feels the warmth between them, sees the slick already pushing through the material and leaving a small damp spot on the desk.

"Mmm, I should get you out of this," Harry murmurs, and Louis willingly lets his panties slip off his legs. The hard cock is now pulsating against his stomach, the head is already pink and the first pearls of pleasure are glistening on it. Louis leans back propped up on his arms and again Harry pays attention to his thighs, kisses them up and when he reaches his crotch, Louis lifts his hips slightly to welcome him.

"If you don't do something to me right away, I'll take care of myself. Enough teasing, Alpha,” Louis hisses, pushing Harry’s head down with his hand in his hair.

Harry clicks his tongue in amusement but doesn't take long and gives him a gentle kiss on his cock. He pulls Louis lower body down a bit more to lick his hole with his tongue and up his cock. He dives into his hole with his fingers, the wonderful scent of his slick rises in his nose and he notices how his own cock loses its first drop in his pants.

Harry sinks his nose into his lap and again he presses his tongue against his opening, extending it further and penetrating it with his tongue. The taste is like an intense firework in his mouth. Louis moans softly and Harry keeps licking inside him, circling his tongue and running along the walls.

"More," Louis breathes.

Harry lets go of him for a moment, slips two of his fingers in, spreads the hole a little further apart, and slides his tongue back in between them. However, it still doesn't seem to be enough for Louis as he takes his hand and places it on Harry's and increases the pressure on it so that it penetrates him further. Harry is so horny of his needy mate that he has to be careful not to shoot his pants at every moment. His gaze sweeps up over Louis's naked body as he lies halfway on the desk in front of him, enjoying being pleasured by his fingers and tongue. Louis is so damn pretty and has his eyes closed but his mouth slightly open and a gorgeous moan escapes his mouth every time he pokes his finger into his tight hole again. But then he can't wait any longer and takes Louis' cock in his mouth, quickly blowing it up and down while Louis starts mumbling meaningless stuff.

Then Harry lets go of him and Louis says quietly, "Please Alpha, I want to feel your cock inside me."

"But of course, anything my Omega wishes," Harry replies, his voice thick with lust. He opens his pants and pulls out his painfully hard dick, letting the suit pants fall to his ankles. He stands in front of him and rubs his cock over Louis' hole while his first drops of pleasure combine with the juice of his ass, which was significantly sweeter than anything he has tasted and smelled in the past few weeks.

Harry keeps eye contact with Louis', which are sparkling with excitement, the bond tingles and prickles from the lust of the two. Harry places his cock against Louis' hole and slightly increases the pressure. His head sinks into him just as Louis whimpers in bliss and presses his hands into his pecs.

"Does it feel good, Omega?" Harry asks with a smile and pauses to tease him again, but Louis lifts his groin slightly again without taking his eyes off him. Harry has lost control and is now pushing his cock further into him. Millimeter by millimeter and always there under Louis' hot gaze. Harry bends over as he fully bottom out, pulls Louis' torso close and while they share their breath, mouths open, he begins to fuck his mate in long, deep thrusts. Louis responds to every thrust with a groan and now half-open eyes while their breath caresses their lips. Louis tongue starts sliding over Harry's lower lip and invites him for a kiss full of passion. Harry surrenders to this, hugging Louis tightly with his arms around his back and now begins to drive his cock inside him faster. Louis rolls his eyes and cranes his neck towards him so that Harry can't help but press his nose against his scent gland and smells his own scent, soon leaving the room smelling of a connection of the two and sex. A hand from Harry strokes down his back, over his shoulder and forward to his chest. Louis shudders as Harry grabs his swollen firm nipples. His thrusts slow down a bit so he can bend down to drop kisses right on the top of his chest, making Louis shiver and Harry can't help but lick them off with harsh strokes of his tongue. Louis is so pliant in his arms and just wants to be fucked, the control all his, which makes his Alpha more than proud.

Harry fucks him harder again and the musculature of his hole squeezes his cock almost like a vise. They moan loudly to the rhythm of his hip movement while Louis begins to quietly say Harry's name like a mantra to himself, the look nothing but hazy. Harry thrusts and thrusts and feels his balls contract, which is a sure sign he's about to cum. Louis looks at him attentively and seems to notice it, pushing his lap against him with every push.

"I'll be right there, Alpha," Louis gasps, clearly struggling for breath and his legs cross around his hips, heels pressing hard into Harry's ass. Then Louis suddenly grabs his neck and pulls himself up so that Harry holds him in the air in his arms and after two more firm thrusts, Harry hears him gasp so hard he suddenly holds his breath and Louis claws even harder at him. His hole twitches and contracts so hard around his cock that even Harry can't help but cum deep inside him.

"Ahhh Alpha," Louis moans loudly, his fingernails digging into his back and his whole body tense. Harry rides out his high but presses into him one last time and then Louis slumps in his hold, his head resting on his shoulder and being carried only by Harry and his cock. Harry already feels how more slick is running his way down during his mate's orgasm from his hole past his cock. His and Louis' stomachs full of evidence of their wild play and two bodies loudly struggling for breath. He carefully sets Louis down on the desk, so that he can lie down comfortably while they wait for his knot to go down and takes his Omega's face in his hands.

"You're the reason," Harry breathes, suddenly becoming emotional. Again and again he gives quick kisses on the mouth of his mate. "I love you so so much Louis."

Harry didn't even realize the tears were running down his cheeks until Louis brushed them away with a loving look. "You're the reason."

"Am I really going to be a dad?"

Harry is only now realizing what really led to this sex. The scene from earlier replays itself in his mind, and Louis' words echo through him. "How far are you? How long have you known? Oh my god, are you sure we weren't too wild?"

Harry suddenly feels stressed out and feels the need to take care of his Omega. He hastily feels Louis' still flat stomach, then rests his hand on it and finally sobs loudly.

"Oh my beloved, everything is fine. We can't hurt the baby. I'm still very early in my pregnancy but my next appointment is in four weeks and you can come and see our little gummy bear. I got a picture. Do you want to see it?"

"Yes, but first I want to go home with you and cuddle up with you freshly showered."

Harry is just so soft for his mate and the little life growing inside him that he can't help but seek closeness to the Omega, this time letting Louis hold him. Small hands stroke his hair and down his back while Louis kisses his cheek.

∰

Harry fixed Louis a bath while he just took a quick shower and is now busy indulging his Alpha's instincts. In no time at all he builds a nest for his Omega in the shared bed. He gets all the pillows from the living room and drapes them like a small wall on the edge of the big mattress. In addition, all the blankets that are in his closet and the worn clothes that are on the chair in the bedroom.

It's almost like when he first built a nest for him, back when he was sitting on the sofa after his drop and Harry couldn't help but make sure of the Omegas safety. Only this time it's even stronger. Again and again it hits him that there will soon be three of them and each time he pauses briefly because the happiness about it almost makes him burst.

Satisfied, he looks at the bed and then hurries into the bathroom, grabs a fresh towel and lifts Louis out of the bathtub, who giggles softly. He immediately wraps him in the towel and hugs him.

"My precious," he breathes softly into Louis' ear and then begins to dry him carefully. Louis lets it all go in silence, a soft smile the whole time on his face. Still wrapped in a towel, Harry picks him up in his arms and carries him over to the bedroom where he sets him down in the nest.

"It looks so cozy. Thank you, my beloved,” Louis says, touched, and immediately snuggles into one of the blankets and only lifts it briefly when Harry crawls next to him. Both lie on their side and look at each other in silence, letting the love for each other speak through their bond, their favorite and most intense way of showing it.

"Do you think your colleagues are mad that we just took off?" Louis asks after a while.

Harry laughs softly. "I don't think anyone would have wanted to see us in this freshly fucked state anyway."

"You're probably right about that," Louis smirks, taking Harry's hand and placing it on his stomach. "Are you happy?"

"More than happy. Oh - you wanted to show me the picture."

Louis nods and is about to sit up, but Harry is already pushing him down with his hand on his chest. "I get it. Just tell me where it is."

"In my wallet in my pocket."

Harry immediately jumps up, sprints into the bathroom where the worn suit lies carelessly in the corner and rummages for his wallet. Shortly thereafter, he is lying next to Louis, who pulls out the ultrasound image and hands it to Harry. His child is there in black and white, their child. So small and has already captured his heart. His love is already so great that he pulls Louis in his arms to hold on to him and not to lose himself in the emotions.

"May I introduce you to our gummy bear."

His eyes wander to Louis and he too sees the love for the little one in his eyes.

"I love you Harry."

"And I love you. Both of you.” But Harry thinks of something else that he wanted to ask earlier but didn't get around to. "Lou, why weren't you mad at me? How did you know I didn't give in to John's advances?"

"I smelled your distress and felt it through the bond. And besides, I trust you. I know you wouldn't cheat on me."

Louis says it so naturally that Harry's heart flutters briefly and he can only nod in agreement.

And like this, they just lie there for a while, looking at the picture and exchange gentle kisses again and again.

Chapter Text

Four weeks later, Louis walks into the doctor’s office in Jackson with Harry, both jittery and beaming like honey cake horses. Louis secretly hopes that this visit to the doctor will calm Harry down a bit because his Alpha has been overly cautious since finding out about the pregnancy. If Louis found it cute the first few days, he is now a bit annoyed that he doesn't need to lift a finger anymore and just sits there. Harry asked that Louis would not look for a new job and just enjoy his pregnancy and he grudgingly agreed as he is now struggling with persistent nausea and repeated bouts of vomiting. He would be reluctant to take on a new job that he can only do for a few months anyway. But he had hoped to make their home together a little more colorful, to be creative in the hours when Harry did a few things from his office at home. But instead he is always by his side, cooking for him, does the shopping alone and sometimes Louis feels like a prisoner in the huge house and Harry his personal guard. He knows Harry is acting on his instincts. Like every Alpha protective of his mate, except that with Harry it takes on somewhat larger forms. Nonetheless, he can't be mad at him and is just trying to enjoy the attention.

They have been invited directly into the room and rock each other up in their excited feelings in their bond, keep glancing at each other and grinning broadly. When the door opens, Harry immediately jumps up, causing Louis to giggle softly and eagerly extends his hand over Louis to the doctor.

"Hello, I assume you are the father?" The doctor smiles friendly and winks at Louis about his Alpha's behavior.

"Yes, and his mate. We're true mates, did you know that?” Harry answers happily and nods at the same time as the now longer curls just jump back and forth on his head.

"No, Mr. Tomlinson hadn't mentioned that but I'm very happy for you both. Very rarely nowadays. I assume you want to jump right in and we go check on the baby? Or do you have complaints that you want to discuss first?”

“I have nausea and sometimes vomit throughout the day. But my mother is a midwife and has already recommended natural remedies for me. It’s not completely gone, but it's better to handle now," Louis answers.

"And I'll take good care of him," Harry adds, patting Louis' thigh. Louis can't help but roll his eyes amusedly at his invading Alpha and the doctor chuckles quietly too.

"I have no doubt about that. Well then, gentlemen. Mr. Tomlinson, please lie down on the lounge and clear your stomach,” he says, motioning for Harry to sit on the side chair next to Louis' head. Of course, Harry helps Louis onto the lounge, which makes the doctor raise his eyebrows with a smirk, but Louis himself can only smile about it and steal a little kiss from Harry. If his Alpha is already treating him so sweetly, how is he going to take care of the baby?

"Oh my god I'm about to see our jelly bean," Harry whispers excitedly, already staring at the screen although it's still blank.

Meanwhile, Louis pushes his shirt up and proudly looks at the small bulge of his stomach. It's probably not noticeable to others yet, but Louis is so proud of it and looks first thing in the morning to see if it's gotten a little bigger overnight.

As the doctor drips the cold gel onto his stomach and finally begins to move the transducer over it, he holds his breath. And finally he sees his baby again and even without a medical background he can immediately see how much bigger it has become. Louis can only stare at it, fascinated, completely lost in the image that is presented to him and it is only some time later that he realizes how Harry is sitting next to him, sniffling loudly and almost squeezing his hand.

"Harry, my hand," he whimpers softly, and immediately the tight grip is released and Harry's face is over him.

"Forgive me, hearts dearest. But there is our baby. Our jelly bean.”

The green eyes shine brightly and a few small tears steal their way from Harry's eyes.

"I know," Louis just breathes and purses his lips, which Harry immediately covers with his mouth and kisses him a little too hard until his head snaps around and they're looking at the screen again. The doctor is pleased with the size and growth and then shows them the little heart that beats healthily. Louis breathes a sigh of relief, always worried that his baby might not be well and according to Jay it will last a lifetime. Now he really understands how different this love for his own child is, not comparable to what he felt for Ed or now Harry. It's a different, special connection with the little being whose heart beats under his chest.

The doctor prints out a picture for them again and while Louis is still wiping the gel off his stomach with a cloth, Harry is already getting up from the chair next to him and wants so eagerly to face the doctor and take the picture out of his hand that he gets caught with his legs in the cord of the ultrasound device and thus pulls the cable out of the socket.

First Louis just looks at him incredulously, but then he bursts out laughing and can only shake his head at Harry, whom he sees with embarrassment and a crimson face for the first time.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," Harry murmurs and turns to Louis for help, who then only laughs louder. His Alpha is such a dork.

"No problem," the doctor smiles sympathetically. “You didn't break anything and I find your overzealousness extremely refreshing. At our next appointment in four weeks, please just leave my practice undamaged, will you?”

Louis straightens up and rubs Harry's back. "Don't worry doc, I'll make sure he behaves."

Instead of Harry, who’s staring intensely at the floor, Louis takes the picture and they both say goodbye to the doctor. On the way to their parked car, Louis is still giggling to himself. But suddenly Harry has him in the middle of the sidewalk and is kissing him hard, one hand on his back and the other on his bottom.

Louis just hums in the kiss softly and enjoys the wild play of their tongues, but when Harry lets go of him, he looks at him seriously. "Can we forget how I acted? Like a lovesick idiot and not like a proud Alpha.”

"Oh my beloved, is your pride hurt as a big bad Alpha? Believe me, I love you just the way you are.”

As an emphasis, Louis puts a loud smack on his lips, who are just about to start an argument. "Come on, let's take a little walk through Jackson. I don't feel like driving straight home again."

Harry just nods, wraps his arm protectively around his waist again and they walk leisurely through the small town.

"What was your favorite place with Ed?"

Louis looks up at his mate in astonishment when he hears Harry's soft question and is always touched as he keeps asking about his deceased partner and never makes him feel like Louis should have a guilty conscience that he loved someone else before him.

"Come on, I'll show you. It's nearby."

It's not far to reach the place, big stones that frame the wide and wild turquoise river, trees that stand on the banks and some of their branches reach into the water. It's peaceful here, only the rushing of the water interrupts the silence as they sit down next to each other on one of the big stones and absorb nature.

"You guys had a thing for nice places, huh?" Harry asks, pulling Louis' head onto his shoulder and then starting to stroke his hair.

"Yeah, Ed needed those places more than I did. His job as a surgeon was exhausting and there was always something going on in the hospital. He grounded himself here and at Lake Tahoe.”

Louis loves leaning against Harry to take in the space of Ed and him from a new angle. Or rather adding something new to his memories of being with Harry. As well as remembering the first kiss he had with Ed here, he will now always remember that they were here after seeing their child together for the first time. It is healing, his whole being in harmony with what life still has in store for him.

"Just like it grounded me again and brought you to me. Lake Tahoe has been a blessing to me,” Harry replies softly, his sandalwood scent wafting cozily around Louis.

"And now we're going to be parents. We didn't even know each other until a few weeks ago.”

Harry's other hand, which isn't running through his hair, caresses his stomach lovingly, so that Louis can't help but purr a little. "Crazy, right? I love you so much Louis. And jelly bean, too.”

"Love you too."

Louis tilts his head up, lost in the eyes of the man who makes him so happy.

∰

Louis is hungry and so he and Harry made their way back to the car to look for a restaurant on the way home. Because Louis has a craving for a juicy beef burger and he wants nothing more at this moment. Jelly bean has him completely under control and for the last few weeks Louis has only done what his body demands.

With the car already in sight and firmly in Harry's arms, he suddenly looks up, startled, when he sees the opposite side of the street. He stops in shock so that Harry stumbles a bit and then looks at him in amazement. But Louis has no spare eyes for his Alpha at this moment. Two pairs of brown eyes look at him unemotionally and Louis has to swallow loudly, because Ed's parents are standing there just as shocked. Before Louis can explain the situation to Harry, they come across the street and stop hand in hand in front of the two.

"Louis," Ed's father says with a nod while the mother glares at him.

"Mara, Adam," Louis replies in a raspy voice, then looks down at the floor.

He smells the sharp scent of disappointment on his former in-laws and hopes that the encounter will soon come to an end.

"And who are you?" Harry asks, who must feel Louis' distress and pulls him even closer to his side.

"Ed's parents. His mate. But apparently he quickly moved on," Mara hisses.

Louis looks up again, wide-eyed. "It's not fair Mara. Moved on quickly? I was miserable for a whole year. If you had only called me back once you would know that. But it was as if I had died with him for you!”

Louis hates how his voice shakes and tears come to his eyes. Mara's sharp tone, which runs through his body like needle pricks and that he has to defend himself against the accusations, makes him shiver. 

"What's a year? I thought you loved him so much Louis? All lies as far as I can see. And you smell pregnant, too!”

Mara sniffs and looks Louis up and down with a disparaging look while Adam looks almost helpless beside her. 

Harry stiffens beside him, his voice razor sharp. "Don't talk to my Omega like that!"

“Your Omega is a whore. Be careful that you don't die too and that he goes straight for another Alpha!"

Harry then growls and Louis has to push him back a bit with his hand on his chest so that he doesn't jump off Mara at any moment.

"Mara, it's enough. Ed wouldn't have wanted you to talk to Louis like that,” Adam tries to speak to his partner, who is now throwing daggers out of her eyes at Adam.

"If you call Louis a whore again, I'll forget myself." Harry practically snorts, his chest heaving up and down quickly and Louis can feel the unspeakable anger in the bond. There's nothing left of his Alpha who used to be so cheerful a few hours before, now he's almost frightening. Protectively, he pushes Louis behind him as if he could block like this the offending words.

"Please just stop. Let's go home Harry." Louis is sick, he feels like his whole stomach and abdomen are convulsing. He knows how bad stress is for a baby and he is beyond stressed. His heart is pounding in his throat, he can hear the blood rushing in his ears and can no longer think clearly.

"Not until she apologizes," Harry insists.

"For what? That my son was exchanged for you? And I'm mad about it? Never!"

"I didn't trade Ed. Harry is my true mate, we met and fell in love straight away,” Louis replies, his voice low and he anxiously holds his hand on his abdomen, which contracts painfully more and more often. He tries with all his might to calm his breathing and keep his composure.

"And what was Ed for you?" Mara wants to know unimpressed and gives him a challenging look.

"He was my mate. What is this Mara? I loved him. But he's dead. DEAD! Do you hear me? DEAD! I mourned him so much and the first thing you do after all these months is insult me and my Alpha instead of being happy that I found happiness again. An Alpha even who carries the memory of my late mate so highly.”

Louis bursts into tears. He can't hold it back any longer and just as he's about to fall to the ground because his Omega is so stressed and sad, Harry immediately catches him in both arms and starts scenting him. Louis buries his face into his strong chest and literally inhales the soothing scent.

"We are going now. Good luck with your pregnancy,” Adam says, pushing and pulling his wife behind him. Mara keeps looking back and throwing him angry looks and Louis can't believe how much she must hate him and yet he was so close to this woman once. They took him in straight away like a son of their own and had a good time every time they visited.

"Lou, my wonderful Lou. Calm down,” Harry says soothingly, stroking his back, arms while holding him tightly.

"Please drive me home," Louis says quietly. Harry gently leads him the last few meters to the car, opens the door for him and even buckles him in with a worried look while Louis just looks straight ahead. He can hardly realize how much the words have hurt him and what they are doing to him. Shouldn't he have given in to the connection with Harry after all? Was it too soon? Did he really betray Ed? And then he remembers the dreams again, which he now believes were not just normal dreams but Ed's soul spoke to him. He didn't trade him in, he just started a new life with Harry - with Ed's blessing.

The closer they get to Sacramento, the quieter he is. All the more he knows that he has done nothing wrong. His appetite is long gone, but the pain in his abdomen has gotten worse and he is thankful when they finally drive into the garage. Louis quickly gets out, not even giving Harry a chance to open the door for him, and rushes inside the house, up to the bathroom.

He knows the dampness he feels in his underpants isn't slick and almost numb he closes the door in Harry's face and turns the key.

In front of the toilet he pulls down his pants and sees a small red spot in his underpants. His brain absorbs the information but he can't feel anything. Presumably this is the punishment that maybe he didn't mourn long enough after all? Maybe he had misunderstood Ed? But Harry is his true mate. And does all of that even matter if he's about to lose his baby?

When he empties his bladder and wipes himself, he finds fresh blood on the toilet paper again. He blinks at it and throws it down the toilet. Why can't he respond appropriately? Why doesn't he feel anything?

"Louis? Are you okay?” Harry's tone is concerned and his Omega compels him to head for the door and calm his Alpha down. If only he knew how. He knows as soon as he tells Harry about the small bloodstain he's going to go mad with worry. And yet he drags himself to the door, his face twisted in pain as the next stabbing pain in his abdomen rolls over him like a wave.

He slowly opens the door and just stares blankly at Harry.

"Omega, what's going on? You're white as a sheet,” Harry exclaims, cupping his face in his hands with a wild expression.

"I’m in pain. And … and,” Louis stammers, and now that he wants to say it, he becomes aware of it. How much the conversation took him away, how weak he is and that he has never felt so afraid as in this moment.

"What? Say it heart's dearest. Are you sick again?”

"No. I, um, I'm bleeding. It is not much. But - our baby,” Louis sobs and now that he has confided in his mate, there is no stopping him. His body trembles from the tears he is crying and he feels his Omega roaring desperately inside him.

"You're bleeding? I'll drive you to the hospital immediately. Come on."

"But then it becomes true. What if they say I'm losing the baby? Why was I so upset about all this? Couldn't I have stayed calmer? I only have one job and that is to protect our baby and I am unable to do it. I'm a bad mother."

Louis claws his hands into Harry, his emotions so mixed up that it keeps taking his breath away. The thought of the hospital only makes him more nervous and anxious and he just wants the Alpha to make him a nest to sleep in. Hoping to wake up tomorrow and everything was just a bad dream.

He feels like he's looking at himself from the outside, hearing himself muttering over and over that he doesn't want to go to the hospital until he finally feels Harry pick him up in his arms and carry him into the bedroom.

"We'll call Jay and ask for her advice. Okay? Then we decide further. Everything will be fine. But you need to calm down now. Can you do that for me Lou? Deep breaths. Here, take my shirt and snuggle it while I call your mom.”

Harry takes control and Louis couldn't be more grateful. Through tear-stained eyes he watches as Harry takes off his shirt and puts it in his hands. With a bare upper body and walking back and forth, he already has his mobile phone to his ear.

Louis, meanwhile, curls up on the bed, clutching his shirt while mentally shutting himself off and Harry's voice becoming a background noise. 

Chapter Text

"Okay, both of you now do the following - you give Louis high-dose magnesium, build him a nest and scent it and him, then absolute rest for Louis. He has to take it easy. It's probably just from the stress and you should watch it at home for today. In the morning you will see a doctor. And I'll come to you tomorrow afternoon for a few days. I hope that's okay with you Harry, because you won't stop me.” Jay's tone is serious and he just nods at everything she says to him. Again and again he looks over at Louis who still lays curled up on the bed and doesn't seem to react anymore but just stares dully at the wall.

"You are always welcome. Jay, what if he drops again? I'm afraid it might harm the baby,” Harry says, hearing his voice tremble himself, his Alpha so nervous and worried.

"No, it wouldn't hurt the baby. It is now important that you observe the bleeding and if it only gets a little worse, go to the doctor or the hospital immediately. Oh god, I would love to pay Mara and Adam a visit and give her a good slap in the face.”

Jay snorts audibly and if Harry weren't so worried about his mate, he would definitely come with her.

"It was so unfair what they threw at him," Harry just murmurs, sits down on the bedside and starts stroking Louis' body, evoking some kind of reaction from his Omega.

"Go and take care of him. See you tomorrow. If it gets worse let me know. Bye Harry, keep my baby safe,” Jay says and hangs up after Harry has said his goodbyes as well.

After a quick kiss on Louis' cheek, he begins to build the nest around Louis and considers whether he should prepare an extra nesting room for his Omega here as well. Or take him straight to Lake Tahoe. But a three-hour drive probably wouldn't be best at this point. He scents each pillow, blanket and shirt extensively before wrapping it around the hunched little person. When he's finally done, he sees that Louis is crying softly to himself. No sound escapes him, but his cheeks are wet.

It literally breaks Harry's heart and his Alpha suffers with him - quietly inside, but from the outside he doesn't show anything and hopes that Louis can't feel it in the bond either.

"Please don't drop. Stay with me, Lou. It's going to be fine, believe me,” he whispers softly in his ear as he wraps his whole body around Louis, hoping his words are true.

And so that night Harry just lays with him, comforting his Omega, making sure he takes magnesium and going to the bathroom regularly to see if he's bleeding more. Everything while Louis didn't drop but also doesn't speak a word anymore. But the bleeding slows down and that night he looks at Louis for a long time, strokes his sleeping mate's stomach and whispers lovely words to the baby.

The next morning he takes him to a doctor in Sacramento, also here the same recommendation as from Jay, but it’s all good now because the bleeding has completely stopped and Louis can smile slightly again from that moment on.

When Jay arrives that afternoon, Louis throws himself into her arms and begins to cry uncontrollably. But Harry senses that it is out of relief and the reunion with his mother and that's why he can watch the embrace of mother and son with a slight smile on his lips and stays in the background for the time being. He's seeing Jay for the first time and he can't deny that Louis gets his beauty from her and the resemblance is immediately apparent.

"Oh honey, the pregnancy suits you even if you look a bit teary now," Jay finally says as she takes Louis' face in her hands and gives him a loud smack on the cheek.

"Are you feeling better today?"

"The doctor's given the all clear," Harry replies quietly instead of Louis, drawing Jay's attention. Two pairs of blue eyes finally look at him, blinking as if they forgot Harry even existed, making him chuckle slightly.

"Nice to finally meet you and to have a face to the voice," he adds and wants to shake hands with Jay. But she pulls him to her and holds him in her arms for a long time. He and Louis grin over their shoulders at each other.

"Nice to see you too, Harry. I can totally understand Louis falling for you,” she winks at him and then, as if it were her own home, walks down the hall and into the large living room.

"Nice house at first sight... but so uncaring," Jay murmurs as she takes it all in.

And that's probably Harry's fault. Louis had already complained about the fact that only his things that were standing around didn't make it more homely and he would love to paint the walls. And Louis would like to have colored curtains and carpets to lay out. But Harry was afraid that the colors would transpire dangerously for the baby and couldn't go against his protective instincts. And so they just had bought curtains together, even if that doesn't make much of a difference in all the white.

"Yes I know. We'll definitely be redesigning it in the future,” Harry replies, glancing apologetically at his Omega, who is just absentmindedly stroking his stomach.

"And where does the baby's room go?" Jay asks. 

“We have a few rooms to choose from on the top floor. I want Louis to decide.”

Harry smiles kindly at Jay, who frowns at her son. And when Harry also lays his eyes on Louis, he only sees him grinning crookedly, which doesn't reach his eyes and in the bond he feels that something is bothering Louis. He's not comfortable with something. Harry is directly afraid he could bleed or be in pain again, but apart from the strange feeling of a grayish mass wafting through the bond like that, he can't see anything that would support his suspicion. Instead, Louis seems to be more of a distraction and leads Jay into the kitchen with one hand on her elbow. While Harry looks at the two irritated, he hears Louis asking his mother to cook his favorite childhood dish for him in the huge and well-equipped kitchen.

Harry decides to give the two their time together and disappears into the study himself. Because he always got ideas for new creations in the most unlikely moments or situations and that's exactly what it is now.

∰

Louis really blossoms when he sets foot on the fine gravel below and Harry can only watch him in fascination. His beautiful Omega and the still small but now visible belly. Louis just bought his first maternity pants yesterday because his old ones no longer fit him. Most of the time, while browsing through maternity male fashion for Omegas, Louis was just annoyed and Harry could understand. Every pair of pants looked the same, only a small selection and not nearly as nice as those for female Omegas. Harry could well understand the disappointment and they looked for another shop that offered the same picture again. In order not to overexert Louis, especially with regard to the fact that he should still take it easy, he talked to him with angelic tongues and persuaded him to take at least one pair of pants with him to start the first weekend at Lake Tahoe comfortably.

"You look good standing there and soaking up the sun," Harry murmurs, quickly snapping a picture of Louis on his phone. Face stretched towards the sun, eyes closed, one hand pouring on his stomach like so often and the sun throwing the most beautiful shadows on his face. In the background the lake and the trees. A masterpiece and mainly because his Omega can be seen in the picture.

"I feel good too. I missed being here so much. Come here Alpha and kiss me." Louis continues to stand there and Harry steps closer to him, rubs the tip of his nose against Louis's and finally kisses him so tenderly that the Omega sighs with pleasure.

"I want to swim in the lake," Louis finally whispers into the kiss.

"Don't you think that's too dangerous or too cold?" Harry asks and his Alpha immediately looks alarmed at the calm lake in front of them as if it were a wild rough sea.

Louis chuckles softly. "Nonsense. Come on you scaredy-cat.”

And then Harry forgets to breathe for a moment, Louis still has that effect on him when he sees his mate peeling his clothes off. Every inch of his body to worship. Without paying any more attention to Harry, he immediately starts running into the water until Harry comes out of his trance again when the water splashes loudly as Louis throws himself into it with full physical effort.

"Harry, come here," Louis calls, who is already swimming around in the lake, grinning widely. Harry then gets rid of all his clothes and runs to the shore, the small stones prick the soles of his feet, but he doesn't care, he just wants to hug the naked, wet and small body. With long strokes he swims towards Louis, who sticks his tongue out at him and then swims away from him. They both giggle as Harry catches his foot, grabs him around the ankle and pulls him close.

"Come here you little mermaid," Harry says, grinning and giving him a small kiss on his bare shoulder. "Let's swim back a little further to shore, I'm really trying not to be overly concerned here but I can't quite turn it off."

Louis blows an air kiss at Harry with a wink and follows his wish as he already swims past him with Harry right after him. Shoulders sticking out of the water are glistening in the sun and Harry wants to kiss every inch of his body, his cock twitching in interest despite the cold water. Finally getting down on his feet, he immediately pulls Louis close, wrapping both arms around the Omega's waist to hold him tight and kiss him hungrily. Louis, who is already light as a feather, has almost no weight in the water, so he doesn't mind as he wraps his legs around him and crosses them behind his back. Both of them sigh softly in the kiss and Harry gets more and more aroused as he now also feels Louis' stiff cock and his small belly pressed tightly against his stomach.

"Mmm Omega," Harry hums and lets go of him, finding Louis' gaze, which is as wild as he feels. "Shall I take you here in the lake or should I wreck you in our bedroom inside?"

"Here, Alpha, I can't wait another minute," Louis whispers back softly, his small hands grasping his curls, tugging, and his mouth is right back on him.

"Everything for you heart’s dearest."

∰

Louis is nervous and Harry tries everything in his power to calm him down, scenting him extensively, holding him tightly in his lap, kissing his mate's face and murmuring sweet words over and over in his ear.

"Lou, everything will be fine. She will love you."

Harry now considers that his idea wasn't the best and Louis will get upset that the bleeding starts again. He invited his mother over here to meet his mate and thought Louis' favorite spot was the best place to do so. She will stay for one night and leave with them the next day. Maybe it would have been better to prepare Louis beforehand, but looking at his Omega's reaction now, he thinks Louis would have been upset for days instead of just a few hours now. And no matter how Louis digs into it now, he knows how much his mother will love him and can't wait to introduce his mate to her with a swell of pride.

"What if she thinks the same way - that I didn't mourn my late partner long enough? What if she thinks I just use you for your money or something?” Louis grimaces as if the thought of it pains him.

"Never. Believe me. My mother has loved you since the moment I told her about you. And even more since she knows you're pregnant."

"Maybe she doesn't like me when she sees me."

"Why should she? Louis, please stop talking nonsense to yourself.”

Harry feels his voice involuntarily getting harder and he almost growls the words. But he can't take another second of his Omega telling himself such things. If only he could see him through his eyes.

"Are you mad at me now?" Louis whimpers softly and buries his face in his hands.

Harry sighs and hugs Louis a little tighter. "Never. But please stop beating yourself up like that.”

Just as Harry is about to continue talking to him, he hears a car pull up outside and a door slam. Louis' head snaps up and he literally stiffens in his lap and Harry feels the stress in their bond.

"Louis, breathe," he whispers in his ear and then stands up together with him, carefully places the Omega on his feet and takes him by the hand to go to the door. He opens it immediately and sees his mother standing in front of it, who apparently just wanted to knock and looks a bit puzzled, her hand still in the air.

"Oh my darling, come here," she calls out the next moment and instead of pulling Harry into her arms, it's Louis and Harry giggles softly.

Harry lets go of his mate's hand while Louis gasps in surprise at suddenly finding himself in his mother's tight embrace. It's such a beautiful picture that Harry has to swallow in order not to burst into tears from being touched. But he's channeling his Alpha and, with his composure regained, observes two of his favorite people.

"I'm Anne and I'm so happy to finally meet you. Let me have a look,” she says delightedly, kisses Louis on the cheek and pushes him a little away from her to look at him. "Harry, my boy, none of your pictures capture the beauty of your Omega. And that little tummy - so cute.”

Louis seems speechless and just looks at his mother with wide eyes and pink cheeks.

"May I introduce you officially? My mate and Omega Louis. And in the belly our little jelly bean,” Harry says happily and now approaches Anne, pulls her to him and kisses her hair. The well-known scent of his mother, which he loved already as a child, comforts him and he was seldom as happy as in this moment. All those years ago he neglected his family, didn't appreciate these little details but now he's realizing it and he's so thankful that they didn't move away from him despite everything. He wants to introduce the rest of Louis to his family soon but thought it would be safer after what had happened, if he only got to know his mother first.

"You two look very adorable together," Anne smiles, looking back and forth between both of them.

"Thank you," Louis breathes and finally smiles back shyly. Harry feels that Louis is already feeling better, but despite everything he is careful and apparently doesn't quite trust his luck yet. But Harry knows that by tonight at the latest all of this will have settled down, his mother is quick to cast a spell over people like that and he believes that Louis will soon find out too.

And he's right. An hour later, the two Omegas are sitting on the veranda, involved in a conversation about pregnancy, while Harry wants to spoil them both and cooks something for them. Again and again he throws a quick look outside and his heart beats faster at the sight that is offered to him. When he has set the table and wants to call the two in, he catches a snippet of the conversation and pauses to listen.

"There's no wrong moment darling. Love cannot be controlled and even if I understand the pain of these people, I can see with my own eyes how much you adore Harry and how much you have helped him to find himself. True mates are rare and it would have been foolish to throw that away, especially that you belong to each other and you couldn't have fought back anyway."

"So you don't think I'm a bad partner?" Louis asks uncertainty and he looks insecure at Anne.

"No. You are a strong man who survived the grief and brought new life to my son. In two senses. And for me - a second son and a grandchild. Come here, let yourself be hugged."

Anne wraps her arm sideways around Louis' body and his mate rests his head on her shoulder. Harry has a few tears in his eyes, which he quickly wipes away and finally clears his throat.

"Dinner's ready," he murmurs, but they heard him anyway. Louis probably smelled him standing there for a long time anyway or felt him in the bond. Both turn their heads back and beam at him. Anne helps Louis up and as she walks past Harry, he pulls his mate in for a quick kiss before they follow his mother into the kitchen.

∰

That evening, as they lie in bed, Louis circles his finger over Harry's chest. It is dark and only the moonlight shines through the gap in the curtain. Both have been cuddling for quite a while until Louis interrupts the comfortable silence.

“I think I needed this meeting more than I thought. Everything feels so good now. I am whole. Everything has found its place. I don't know how to describe it. You're the reason.” Louis whispers, each word a gentle puff of his breath on his bare skin.

Harry puts his hand on Louis' cheek and lifts his face up to kiss him long and softly.

"I know what you mean. We'll be so happy Lou, so damn happy."

The bond tingles from their love, happiness wafts through both bodies like golden threads and makes their hearts beat even faster than before. Sandalwood and caramel mingle and leave them in a cloud of pure unity.

"We will. I already am.”

Chapter Text

Epilogue
A few months later

It's been an exciting few months with some changes.

Louis had confessed to Harry shortly after their visit to Lake Tahoe when he met Anne that he wasn't comfortable in the Sacramento house. He almost had a guilty conscience towards his Alpha when he just stared at him blankly afterwards and on the other hand he couldn't resist his Omega anymore, which made him restless as soon as they entered the house again. But Harry wasn't mad at him. Instead, he blamed himself for not noticing it sooner and for stopping Louis from making everything nice. It took Louis a long time to convince his agitated Alpha that he wouldn't feel comfortable in any house, no matter where it was or what it looked like. His Omega only wants one thing - permanently back to Lake Tahoe. And he quietly asked if it would be possible for them to have their main residence there, possibly add on to the house to create a room for Harry to work from and a children's room.

Of course, Harry was immediately on board, who loved the vacation house just as much, and the very next day he commissioned companies to take care of the extension as quickly as possible. They’ll keep the house in Sacramento, though, because at least once a month Harry will have to appear at 'Canyon Moon' for a few days, so they always have a spot there, too.

Harry also confessed something to him. His creativity was fueled by Louis' pregnancy and he asked if he could measure him every month. Because he wanted to design his own line for maternity fashion, the name for it 'Smol Bean'. Louis, of course, was immediately so touched by the idea that he cried and sobbed and agreed - on one condition. The fashion has to be affordable for everyone and not as expensive as ‘Canyon Moon’. Every Omega man should have access to this, especially considering that there is so little choice for them, as Louis has already discovered.

Not only was Louis involved in the measurements, he also threw in ideas for patterns and designs. They often sat for hours together at Harry's large dining room table, all covered in fabrics, and brooded over what would go well together.

Harry himself even had the idea of designing other things. Nursing pillows were included, as were moisture-proof blankets and pillows for the nests the Omegas built for birth. The softest fabrics for the first little blankets to roll up the babies in. After the birth, Harry wants to design baby clothes and expand ‘Smol Bean’. Louis can't wait to see what ideas his Alpha will come up with.

Harry also insisted that Louis model their fashions for the first public presentation. Some of the pictures now adorn the white walls of the Sacramento house and Louis was initially shy in front of the photographer, but now he sees the beauty of the pictures when he sometimes stops in front of them with Harry and they look at it with a grin.

In the meantime he had also met the rest of Harry's family, who, like Anne, welcomed him with open arms. As with Harry, it was natural to include Ed in the conversations. Sometimes Louis tells about him and it never felt weird, just like Ed belonged - and that's how it is. Ed has always been part of their story and always will be. His memory is deeply rooted in Louis' heart.

Harry has been watching him very closely for a week, Louis can feel the looks on him and he knows where it comes from. The birth is approaching, the knowledge of it growing stronger by the day, and just yesterday Harry said that his smell changes every day. And since this morning Louis has also had a strong urge to nest. But not here. His child is to be born in Lake Tahoe. He has barely touched the breakfast in front of him and he has to discuss it with Harry, who is already chewing and watching him closely with his mouth full.

"Harry, how far along is the work on the house? I, um, I have to go there. I don't care if there's still a construction site there, but please." He can't keep the desperate tone out of his voice, or the tremor in his voice. His Omega is more sensitive than it has been for a long time.

"They finished yesterday. I wanted to ask you today anyway if we want to set off. After the birth I have all the things that we still need brought here. Should I let your mother know that she should be arriving soon?”

Because it is important to Louis that she is there and they spoke to Jay months ago, who of course immediately agreed to take time off and help with the birth.

"I'll pack a few more things in a minute and then we can go," Louis replies, smiling gratefully at Harry. Sighing, Louis leans back in the chair, places his plate on his big belly and can now comfortably nibble on his toast - all under the amused gaze of Harry.

∰

Dear Ed,

I am firmly convinced that you are watching over me. And see how a little life is growing inside me, which will soon be born. I understand the last dream better now - what you wanted to tell me. Harry is my true mate and we are having a child. You couldn't give me all that. On the one hand because our souls didn't feel attracted to each other to that extent, but also because you were ripped out of life before we could start a family. And yet I will never belittle our love. It was unique just like you. It was different as with Harry and yet I was happy with you by my side for so many years. It's not for nothing that your death tore the ground from under my feet. But I'm sure you can see from wherever you're watching that I've made my peace with our destiny. Sometimes I really think you sent Harry to me. Funny coincidence since his middle name is Edward. In any case, it would be exactly your sense of humor and I can well imagine the mischievous smile on your face. Actually, I'm pretty sure it was you. And then I just have to thank you more for it. Because not only did you save me, my dear, you saved Harry too. He needed this relationship as badly as I did. And that's why I'm going to name our little boy the same as you, at least by your middle name. Francis. Of course, Harry immediately found the idea sensational, I think in his eyes I can never do anything wrong.

It was important to me to leave you a last greeting, one that is no longer written with sadness but with confidence. It was a long way to get there. Months of thinking it would be better if I died myself just so I wouldn't have to endure the pain anymore. It is not a matter of course for me that I will ever be so happy again and I will always be grateful to the two Alphas in my life for that.

Goodbye, Ed.

Unforgotten and always with me.

Your Louis

Louis puts down the pen, folds the letter up with a smile on his face and puts it in an envelope. Then he gets up clumsily and waddles towards his mate, who looks at him with a smile.

"Stop looking like that Alpha! Better carry me. I hate having to waddle like a duck.”

Harry chuckles and promptly slings him in his arms, carrying him down the stairs and to the car already packed in the driveway.

Louis is wearing the comfortable clothes of 'Smol Bean' and yet there is actually nothing that would bring him relief at this point. Just the birth.

But before they start to Lake Tahoe, they first take the detour to Jackson and when Harry parks in front of the cemetery, they both look out the car window in silence.

"Ready?" Harry finally asks quietly, squeezing his hand. Louis nods, picks up the letter and gets out. He stretches, puts his hand on his aching back and then lets Harry guide him, who is immediately at his side. They walk silently along the rows of graves until they arrive in front of Ed's. Louis wasn't here for a long time, even before he met Harry. Too painful were the visits that only made it clear that his dead mate really is down there.

Harry puts the flowers he was holding on it and then helps Louis bend down to place the letter against the large tombstone. Louis then leans into Harry who is gently stroking his arm up and down. It almost feels like Ed is there with them - in the gentle breeze that blows through his hair, in the sun's rays that warm his skin and in the stillness of the graveyard that washes over him in his mate's arms.

∰

Louis sits in his nest and breathes through the first contractions. He didn't even pay much attention to the changes around the house and the new rooms. As soon as he took the first step out of the car, the urge to do the nest was too great. He asked Harry to check with Jay if she was on her way and leave him alone to build his nest. In a few hours it will now be seen whether the fabrics are good for a birth that Harry and Louis had designed. He put all the soft pillows and blankets aside and instead covered the large mattress with one of their covers and decorated it with the matching pillows and blankets. While they don't feel as soft as the plush, fleece fabrics he's otherwise chosen for his nest, they're still smooth and soft against his bare skin. The only thing he's wearing is a large shirt of Harry's that comes down to mid-thigh to keep him a bit of decency.

When Harry knocks gently, he invites him in, unable to return the smile on his lips. Already in the early stages, the contractions are already painful and Louis is grateful for the long breaks in between. But Harry doesn't seem to blame him. Instead, he hands him a glass of water and some nuts to keep up the energy he'll need for the next few hours.

"Do you need something else? Jay should be there in an hour by the way,” Harry asks quietly, keeping his distance from the nest.

"I want you here in this nest now. I want you to hold me from behind so I can crush your hand with every contraction,” Louis hisses between his teeth as he feels the middle of his body begin to contract again.

As Louis closes his eyes and begins to breathe like Jay taught him to do when she last visited, he hears Harry slowly step closer and finally his body behind him. His strong arms wrapping around him, one hand on his stomach which has grown hard from the contraction and the other seeking his own and Louis immediately begins to squeeze it tightly. Harry sends him calmness through the bond, the certainty that Louis can accomplish whatever lies ahead and a strong note of his scent. 

After the contraction subsides, Louis lays his head back on Harry's chest and enjoys the many small kisses his mate places on his face. He knows that some Omegas don't want their Alpha to be with them at birth, they're almost annoyed - but Harry, like in every situation in life, is the rock in his life and Louis can't imagine a birth without him.

And so the hours pass. Every painful contraction in his mate's arms and meanwhile also Jay on site accompanying Louis with soft words. Cheering him on as it gets to the end while Harry just sandalwoods his senses. It's a long, draining labor, but when they're holding their baby 28 hours later, Louis knows it was all worth it. A small, perfectly healthy boy. A jelly bean that isn't one anymore. 

Never before has he seen Harry cry like that and at the same time have a proud smile on his face. The moment was magical which Jay didn't want to disturb and she snuck out of the room as the three met. Both Louis and Harry had immediately started scenting little Francis, wrapped in a blue plush blanket with the emblem of 'Smol Bean' on it, littering his snub nose and round little cheeks with kisses.

"Look, I think he's getting the same dimples as you," Louis whispers in amazement, stroking the skin next to his small mouth.

"And he definitely has your long, dark lashes," Harry breathes back, stroking the little head of their baby lovingly, who, also exhausted from the birth, is sleeping peacefully.

"He is perfect, my beloved. How could we have been able to create something like this?” Louis asks in wonder, looking at Harry who is already staring at him lovingly.

"I don't know. But I’m so thankful to you. For this child, for you, for your love. That you made me the greatest sap on earth. Thank you, my wonderful Omega.”

Both are still emotional that they shed a few tears in the kiss they then exchange.

Louis doesn't think he can ever be happier than he is right now. He will make sure to the end of his life that he makes his Alpha as happy as he makes him, that there will always be laughter in their house and that he will do everything he can to never take his newfound happiness for granted. Because he knows how quickly it can be snatched away from you. And yet he hopes that this time he will be granted all that. Ed will take care of that, he's sure of it.