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Lily struggled, sometimes, to remember how she got to this point.
The first real relationship she can remember having with her elder sister, Lilac, was… Probably in their early teens. It hadn’t been a good relationship, exactly. Probably? She wasn’t sure how much fighting siblings were supposed to do on average. They called truces at times to play games together but a lot of their time was spent arguing, each trying to get the other to see things their way. Or, at times, just arguing out of irritation. She could remember how much it annoyed her whenever their mother commented on their similarities.
And it was true, they were quite similar. Both had slender builds, pale skin, long fingers, and thick brown hair that curled and waved and always misbehaved. She was, however, shorter than her elder sister by nearly a foot. That used to make her angry, she recalls.
But back then, especially as they’d grown into their mid-teens, she’d gone more out of her way to appear different. Not just in choice of clothing or things to do- that’s probably when she’d started pulling her hair into ponytails or braids, anything to contrast her sister’s choice to simply let it grow out into a long mane. That need for contrast had made things worse, though, because they’d ended up having very similar tastes in games and hobbies, and her sister was almost always better than she was. Their mother had, of course, attempted to mollify Lily- Lilac had a two year headstart on her, after all, and so Lily could still be proud of how close she was considering that, and really why should they compete when they could work together- but these attempted peace talks had failed, at the time.
Her clearest memory- the one she calls back to whenever she feels wistful like this- was halfway through 17. She’d hit a nasty writer’s block.
She and Lilac both loved to write, and had intense interests in music and nearly always the same kinds of games. In their free time, both sisters took to writing and investing in the games they liked, sometimes in the form of writing game modifications, sometimes painting miniatures. Lily had briefly attempted to compose music for the sake of contrast, but found it hadn’t been terribly fun. And while Lilac rarely talked down to Lily, one of the few times she had was to make fun of her for forcing herself to do something she didn’t want to do just to have an imaginary edge over Lilac.
So when she found herself with writer’s block, it had felt at the time like a full on crisis. Writing was one arena where she felt like she could at least compete with Lilac, and she didn’t have to force herself. But suddenly it was as though even if she did force herself, nothing would be on the page that was worth reading.
She can remember fighting with herself- she knew that her sister had dealt with writer’s block. She knew that Lilac could help her. Wanted to, if she meant it every time she said things like that in their more peaceful moments. But, setting aside whether she believed that, she didn’t want to ask Lilac for help. It’d be tantamount to admitting defeat.
But she also didn’t want to stare at a blank page for the next three hours. She can remember flipping a coin, and in retrospect, she finds it funny that such a fateful decision was left to luck. Because that day had changed everything.
She’d gone to her sister after all, her guard completely up, and asked for help. And Lilac hadn’t patronized her, hadn’t treated her as anything less than an equal. Thinking back about it now, she imagines Lilac must have been shocked and trying very hard to be careful- Lilac had inherited the idea that they could get along and be a team after a certain age, an idea she kept going on about regardless of Lily’s defiance thereof. Regardless, Lilac had done more than help her- the things her elder sister showed her, about her own writing, her own methods, numerous little tricks and flourishes, it had been wonderful. And Lilac talked the entire time like Lily was her equal- and kept asking Lily about her methods, her ideas, and had sincerely listened.
She remembers laying awake staring at the ceiling that night, rethinking her entire relationship with her sister. She remembers realizing how much time she’d wasted fighting. She remembers thinking that if, perhaps, she bought into her elder sister’s idea and they worked together, perhaps they both might do better for it. They already did that sometimes for studying.
She remembers getting out of bed the next morning, going to the mirror, and combing her hair out. She didn’t pick up any of her hair ties or anything to style it with- for the first time in years, she let it fall down her back, a long thick wave like her sister, as a statement to herself. And then she’d gone to her sister’s room an hour later, shook her awake, and asked to play a game together.
It hadn’t completely changed their relationship. They still fought at times, and she still felt an urge to be better in some way, but it was much more muted. The new normal was one where the two were always at each other’s side, even when they were both doing something of their own.
Those, Lily recalls, had been really good years. The two of them had made sudden strides in their grades and their hobbies working as a team. She remembers slowly coming to admire Lilac, and she can remember the suspicion that the feeling was returned. They’d worked so well together, effortlessly covering for each other’s weaknesses, and fueling their shared enthusiasms and interests.
And then, just before she turned 20, Lily remembers when it happened.
Her sister had just gotten home from a date, and the two of them were discussing the date and the relative merits and flaws of the ‘person of interest’, as they’d come to call it. She remembers it was one of the better dates Lilac had been on, as Lilac had rather unusually been talking almost entirely positively about it. And then she’d started pontificating on a long-term relationship and shared life with the date in question.
Lily can distinctly remember the sick feeling that snaked around in her gut as they talked about that. She’d always been critical of Lilac’s dates, but that usually wasn’t a problem, as Lilac was often more critical than she was. But this was the first time it actually sounded like somebody might have caught her elder sister’s interest despite her standards, and she remembered feeling sick and restless that night. She remembers taking nausea medication and then cold medication on the assumption she’d caught something.
It had only taken another day or two of Lilac’s continued talkative interest in this newcomer before Lily had been forced to reckon with herself. She remembers sitting in the shower, staring at the wall like her eyes could drill a hole in it, trying to come up with any explanation for what she was feeling. She had decided, at first, that maybe she was simply being jealous, possessive of her elder sister and their new relationship, not wanting anyone else to intrude on them. Mere jealousy, though, failed to explain the new desires she felt when she saw her sister fresh out of the shower later that night.
She remembers being furious with herself. Of course that couldn’t be it- she’d been on dates too! She’d taken interest, sometimes! And she could remember how it felt to feel romantic interest, infatuation even, and none of that had been apparent with Lilac- not up until the moment someone dared to capture Lilac’s interest. It was unfair how blindsided she had been. And so of course that couldn’t be it. It’d be too sudden. It’d be too unfair. Of course that couldn’t be it.
It couldn’t be.
She remembers, that next weekend, her sister coming home in a foul mood, viciously cursing the formerly lucky date. She remembers how relieved she felt, how it washed through her body like a sudden stream wiping nature’s buildup off the rocks. She remembers the crushing feeling of defeat and anger with herself when she recognized that relief, and she remembers feeling like it was impossible for her to avoid admitting it any longer and still be honest with herself.
That had been two months ago. And what a two months it had been! She’d kept it from Lilac, obviously, and had directed her attention to trying to figure out if she stood the slightest chance- and whether or not she should. She tried, as well, to find someone else to take her interest away. She recalls it sparking one of her and Lilac’s nastier fights in quite some time, as her elder sister criticized her seemingly low standards and sense of incaution in her dating. Lilac had been right, of course, and she’d known that, and the argument had been made very difficult for her since she couldn’t explain why.
She could remember all of this, if she focused, as she was now. Because now, she felt, it was time to resolve things. She’d been struggling with it too much. Lilac had been worrying about her, and even their mother had picked up on it. Waiting longer wouldn’t make things better- most likely worse, actually, if someone charmed her sister again. And that was a real concern at the moment.
They were at a beach house for a weekend trip, and her sister was out playing with friends in the water. And while her swimsuit was hardly skimpy, Lily could see the way some of those friends looked at Lilac. One or two of them might stand a genuine chance with her sister, if they worked up the nerve to say something. But they wouldn’t, not today at least.
Lily waited patiently from the balcony of the house. There would be no sudden public confessions on the sand. And it was late, so Lilac would shortly return to the house, eat dinner, and then spend her evening reading in a chair on the balcony. Provided she didn’t deviate from that pattern, Lily knew exactly what she was going to do. And then, one way or another, she could get over this. Today was the right day for it. Waiting any longer was too risky.
She’d been right, of course. Despite some longing glances, Lilac came home uninterrupted. They’d had a nice dinner, and now a nice shower. A very nice shower, in fact. Lily had been struck with sudden genius and asked to shower with her sister. She’d had a few excuses ready to go, but none of them had been necessary- Lilac teased her about it a bit, but didn’t really interrogate it.
And now, here she was. In a shower, naked with her older sister, and trying not to drool. It had been a while since she’d been forced to face off not just with her romantic interest in her sister, but her lust. She remembered how, even after admitting what had happened to her, how badly it had shocked her to feel that way when her sister had been undressing for bed. She remembered the almost overwhelming guilt as she tried deal with her needs without being heard.
But no, she was on a mission- find out if her sister had even the slightest interest in her.
It was a bit difficult, though. Neither sister was stupid, nor would they assume such of the other, so she couldn’t suddenly grab Lilac’s tits, looking for a blush, and act like she had intended to grab the soap or something. Plus, she admitted, that probably wouldn’t work anyway. Only twice had she seen lust on her sister’s face, and she knew it took some doing for Lilac to let that expression slip.
“You feel anythin’ different with your hair lately? I feel like mine’s gettin’ softer” She started, casually, keeping herself in her sister’s view. This, she felt, was a safe start. It was a normal topic between the two of them, and she had in fact been trying different conditioners to soften her hair ever since she’d imagined Lilac’s hands running through it.
“Really? I don’t think mine’s any different. Misbehaved as always. You usin’ somethin’ different, Lil?” Lilac’s tone was entirely casual- that was fine, for now.
“I did try a different conditioner recently,” Lily admitted- no big deal, they’d both tried different things at times- “You mind telling me if it feels any different t’you? I could just be psychin’ myself out here.”
Lilac shrugged, and took one of her bangs, lifting it with one hand and feeling through it with the other. Lily kept a tight lid on herself- not yet. “Actually, yeah” Lilac said, after a moment’s thought. “This does seem softer. What were you usin’?”
“Don’t remember” Lily replied. A lie- and a useless one, she silently admonished herself for. She was getting too nervous if she was lying on reflex. “I’ll show you when we’re home though, yeah? Really though, how different does it feel?”
Lilac nodded to the first question, and then took some more of her hair to feel through. “S’got a nice feel to it. Fair bit different. You remember that one girl I dated, a while back, the hippie chick? Her hair was soft like this, and that’s good for like, getting your hands in, y’know?” Lilac smirked at Lily while Lily in turn examined Lilac’s expressions. “You seem a bit intense about this, sis. Got someone you’re tryin’ to impress?”
Extremely yes, but would admitting that help her? She doubted Lilac was the jealous type, and pretending she was interested in a vague someone could make things a little trickier.
“Just curious what y’think.” There, that was true. “I remember you talkin’ about things like that, an’ tryin’ to get your hair all specific. Figured it was important t’you.”
Lilac laughed, just a bit, her smile growing. She laughed easily when she was in a good mood- this too, then, was a good sign. “Aye, could say that. But yeah, looks like you’ve got something that works here. I’d be interested t’try.”
Lilac ran soap down her body as she spoke. Lily forced herself not to stare.
“What sorta stuff would you be tryin’ to do if you had another date, anyway? Or just go with what you got?” Lily said, pretending to pretend to strike a sexy pose and run a hand down herself.
Lilac laughed again, more fully this time and (looked away from her, did she usually do that?) shook her head lightly. “Nah, can’t say I do much special with myself. Clean up, nice clothes, maybe a cute lil’ decoration, but it’s not like I go to town with creams or somethin’.”
“Well then, really, what would you do if you were tryin’ to get someone’s attention like that?” Lily asked, not having to fake sincerity in her tone this time. She’d never seen her sister try to attract someone beyond simply making herself look nice and being her usual self. And she’d never cared to ask, for reasons she had only recently come to understand.
Lilac hummed to herself for a moment. “Y’know, I’m not sure. Never had t’try. I guess it’s not very subtle, but maybe like, just wear somethin’ that shows more skin? Try to get cuddly more often? Iunno, uh…”
Lily considered this. She couldn’t possibly be showing more skin than she already was, so…
Lily slipped behind her sister, and then hugged her closely from behind. “What, all cuddly like a teddy bear, like this? You’re right it’s pretty unsubtle if that’s the case. You ain’t put much thought into this, y’know.” She kept a bantering tone, kept her eyes on her sister, and- she was looking away! She was! Surely intentionally! As long as Lily wasn’t fooling herself, that was maybe the best sign- given her elder sister’s personality, if she felt any attraction towards Lily, she was most likely to feel that she had to be responsible for properly controlling it and sparing Lily.
“I guess so” Lilac said, her tone still damnably level. “But Iunno, Lil, what’s more sad- that I’ve got not a clue how to seduce someone save for usin’ my tits, or that I’ve not met someone I liked enough that I’ve had t’think about it yet? I mean honestly, if I wanted to get someone all hot for me, I’d probably just make ‘em a pizza or somethin’. Good cookin’ is sexy, y’know.”
Lily nodded sagely, as though they were sharing great wisdom. Lilac was right, after all. “Might not work on someone who’s dense, though.” She started, still hugging her sister, and gauging how long she could do so before it was weird. “Like, y’know, Sarah? I bet you she’d refuse to admit someone’s into her even if they up an’ kissed her.”
Lilac chuckled a bit, and patted her sister’s hand- Lily let go, trying not to show her reluctance, wondering if that lower laugh was any evidence- and started rinsing herself off. “Sure, yeah, Sarah’s pretty bad about that. I guess y’got a point, I can see myself gettin’ attracted to someone like her and gettin’ all frustrated that everything I try goes right over her silly head. Funny you mention her though, she’s actin’ a little off lately. I’m half convinced she’s into someone.”
She is, and it’s you, and she either doesn’t know what to do about it, hasn’t admitted it, or doesn’t even know what she’s feeling. Lily kept that to herself, though. If her mission tonight failed, she’d tell Lilac later as part of her peace offering. If she couldn’t have her sister romantically, she at least wanted to salvage the relationship they had in that scenario. At the very least, she didn’t have to worry that Lilac’s comments belied a secret interest in Sarah- Lilac would’ve said so directly to Lily before now, as they talked about nearly everything that crossed their minds.
So it wasn’t a shock to Lily when Lilac switched tack, but she couldn’t help but hope that the topic switch- to some music they’d been listening to- was suspicious. She tried to stay close, watched Lilac carefully, but no further evidence was incoming. They finished, they got dressed in the room they shared, and Lilac slipped a robe over her pajamas, grabbed her book, and went to the chair on the balcony.
Lily didn’t follow her, not immediately. She’d been hoping to have a reassurance of which answer she was about to get, but she had only circumstantial suspicions. She couldn’t let this go another night, but the anxiety made her feel twisted inside- mixed with just a bit of shame that this was, after all, her sister, rather than a literally unrelated friend she was in love with.
This was her sister. Her sister who, up until five minutes from now maybe, completely trusted her, was open with her, and shared nearly everything with her. If she was rejected, some of that wouldn’t be true going forwards, and that wasn’t a small loss. But she had to. She couldn’t let this keep burning inside her. If nothing else, it violated their mutual promise of honesty, and also it would make her second-guess every romantic interest she had, and probably hold a grudge against anyone her sister took interest in, which really wasn’t fair to said sister. And at that point, she’d probably lose her closeness to Lilac anyway, as the elder sister was unlikely to accept an increasingly nasty treatment of everyone who got close to her.
She tried to swallow her fear. It didn’t go down easy, but she stood up anyway, and slowly padded over to the balcony door. She took deep breaths, trying to be calm- she needed to be calm. Confident, even. Because one thing she was sure of, if Lilac did in fact hold any attraction for Lily, she wouldn’t admit it easily. Lily would have to pressure it out. And she couldn’t do that if she was terrified.
She took a couple more deep breaths, steeled herself before opening the door, and walked slowly over to her sister. It was okay. From here on out, she had a two part plan. One part to determine interest, one part to secure a relationship if part one succeeded. Would’ve been nice to clear part one in the shower, but that was okay. All she had to do was follow her own plan, and if part one failed, she had a salvage plan. Just follow the plans.
“Hey, Lila, can we talk a bit?” It was okay. Her tone was level, she thought. She’d be okay.
“Sure, what’s up?” Lilac didn’t look up from her book. That was normal- her elder sister rarely allowed her full attention to focus on any one thing. Even now, Lily knew, while she was mostly reading, part of her attention was on the lovely beach night. You could talk to her but she’d invariably find something to do with her hands. Accordingly, there was an unspoken agreement, which Lily now invoked. “Can I have your focus?”
Lilac glanced up at her- was that expression purely surprise?- and set the book down. “Sure, Lil. Talk to me.” Her tone was still light, friendly, if tinged with concern now. Lily rarely asked that, after all.
Lily walked up to her elder sister confidently (she hoped) and brought herself up into the chair, setting her legs on either side of Lilac’s and sitting on Lilac’s legs, effectively straddling her. Lilac’s expression was unreadable- but it would be alright. Just follow the plan, she kept telling herself. She removed her glasses, setting them on top of Lilac’s next to the book- her sister didn’t need them for reading, and as both were slightly nearsighted, Lily didn’t need hers either, for this part.
She braced her hands to either side of her sister’s head, and took one last deep breath. “Lila, I need you to take me seriously. Okay?”
Lilac merely nodded, her expression still neutral. Nothing for it, then. It burned to speak. It felt like steel wire around her heart and throat. She pushed through, determined. “I love you. I fell in love with you a couple months ago. I’m sorry I kept it from you, though I think you understand why.”
Lily stopped there. It was obvious that she wanted to know how Lilac felt towards her, but she wasn’t going to actually ask it just yet. The first hurdle was big enough.
Lilac looked shocked, for a few seconds, and then her eyes flickered- looking around seemingly at random. This, too, was familiar. She had a habit of this when she was thinking, as though her eyes were reflecting the internal processing.
Five seconds of silence. Ten. Fifteen. Fear strangled Lily’s gut, but she held firm, keeping her breathing deep. Twenty seconds, that was the mark. She leaned in, just a bit. “Am I right to think you feel something for me, too?”
Lilac didn’t respond to that either, but Lily could tell the difference in her sister’s expression. Though her eyes still wandered, the focus was elsewhere- she was looking away, her head even tilted slightly to one side. She didn’t say no.
Lily forced herself to take another deep breath- even breathing felt difficult right now. It was okay, she told herself. This was accounted for. If Lilac was going to reject her, Lily had a good idea how she’d do it, and she hadn’t started that pattern. Hopefully she was right. She swallowed her fear. The next part was bold. Brazen, even, maybe.
She slid her arms around her sister’s neck, leaning in close. She felt Lilac press herself against the back of the chair, saw Lilac’s stormy gray-blue eyes focus on her own deep green. But she didn’t close all the distance- a few inches were left. “We promised total honesty with each other. Does this disgust you?” Again, Lilac’s eyes flickered, like she was trying to look away. Lily closed a couple more inches, her lips nearly brushing Lilac’s.
“Are you going to stop me?”
This part, Lily wasn’t sure of, as she closed her eyes. She knew she’d have to pressure her older sister into admitting anything- provided there was something to admit- but it still felt a little wrong to push it like this. But she’d made her plan. If she followed it, she’d be fine, she felt, as she closed the gap and gently kissed her sister.
She suppressed a shiver- Lilac’s lips felt so soft and it felt so good to finally do this- she had to stay focused, just a little longer. She let the kiss linger for a few seconds before pulling back- barely, hardly half an inch- and opening her eyes again.
She wasn’t sure what expression that was on Lilac. Surprise, maybe? It didn’t seem like a bad expression, and her sister’s eyes were now very focused on her. Which was probably good.
She kissed Lilac again, pressing in just a bit more firmly this time. She could feel her heart raging in her chest, almost like she would explode. But it was okay. The plan was working. She let that kiss go on a bit longer before breaking it, this time giving an inch or so of distance. She removed one hand from around her sister, and caressed Lilac’s face, stroking down her hair, and whispered to her. “You’re not the kind of person to compromise her integrity. If you’re letting me kiss you, please tell me how you feel?”
Lilac’s mouth parted. She was either looking for the words or fighting with herself- probably both, Lily guessed. Still… Not technically part of the plan, but how could Lily resist that invitation? She leaned in and captured her sister’s open lips again, pushing in a bit more and suppressing herself from making a sound, and gently stroked Lilac’s cheek. It was so hard to keep control and resist; Lilac was so unbearably soft, and she felt like she was on fire; but she did, and broke the kiss. “Please?” She whispered. A little unfair of her, perhaps, to prompt again for an answer when she was the one who couldn’t help but take another kiss.
Something whispered past her sister’s lips, inaudible even at this intimate distance. Lily forced herself to wait- Lilac knew that was too quiet. She’d try again. When the word came again, it was just her name- Lily- whispered with the faintest breath. Lily bit down on herself, clenching her jaw. She had to stay focused. She couldn’t just give in to what she wanted to do, damn near needed. She was ready for the possibility that Lilac couldn’t form the words. “If it’s too hard to say, then please, kiss me?”
She closed the distance again, and delicately brushed her lips against Lilac’s, willing herself to stop there and wait, as hard as it was. Not only hard because of how badly she just wanted to kiss her again, but because this was a deciding moment- Lilac could still reject her right here, refuse to kiss her. But if, instead, she…
Lilac tilted her head just slightly, eliminating the final distance and kissing Lily so slowly and delicately it made Lily want to scream.
But she didn’t. It had worked. Lilac had, at last, reciprocated her brazen advance. Her heart soared, and she felt relief run through her like ice water, cleaning away the knots of anxiety and fear. She clenched every muscle that wasn’t actively touching her sister, willing herself not to violate Lilac’s unbearably tender response with the sheer voltage of emotion running through her. She was sure she was trembling, though it felt like maybe Lilac was too, so that was alright, probably.
Lilac pressed into her slowly, so slowly, but she wasn’t breaking the kiss. It tore Lily apart to consider doing so herself, but she needed one more thing. She turned her head, gently breaking it, and whispered into her sister’s lips, “Please touch me?” before reclaiming the kiss, gently stroking Lilac’s cheek again.
Lilac barely moved, for a couple seconds, before she slowly lifted her hands up. It was agony for Lily how terribly slowly Lilac was taking everything- something she could only force herself to be okay with because at least it was going in the direction she wanted, which was everything she had been hoping for. She could almost feel her sister’s hands travel through the air, could definitely feel her fingers start to trace her still-damp hair. She felt Lilac take in a sharp breath as she reaffirmed their kiss, and a second later Lilac’s hand was on the back of her head, tangling in her hair and pulling her in closely, the other hand sliding up Lily’s back. It was almost too much for Lily to bear; she was definitely trembling now, seized by the effort it was taking to restrict herself and let her sister control the pace. The hand not on Lilac’s face gripped her shoulder instead, and Lily fought with herself to keep it a gentle hold. Quietly, inside her mind, all Lily could do was beg her sister for more, to let herself go- she knew Lilac could, and was slowly- so damnably slowly- closing in on it.
But oh, how glorious it felt as Lilac pulled her in, kissing her firmly now, that hand in her hair. She couldn’t possibly get enough of this- couldn’t help herself, she realized, as she swiped her tongue against Lilac’s lips. Couldn’t possibly keep resisting at this point, as Lilac’s lips parted, her grip on Lily tightening and her tongue meeting Lily’s own. Lily felt her control breaking, felt her arms wrap tightly around Lilac and crush the distance between them, tilting her sister’s head down as she pushed into their kiss and hungrily made out with her. Felt herself shiver freely, a moan rising in her throat, as Lilac mirrored her, pulling her close and tight, stroking and tangling the hair at the back of her head.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she acknowledged that this actually wasn’t the plan. The plan had been to achieve some kisses- get Lilac to kiss her back, most importantly- and then pull back and talk about it. Get a verbal confession from her sister, of interest if not of love outright, talk a few things out, get some sleep, and then carefully negotiate the next few days. As loosely important as this was to her at the moment, it was swept from her mind entirely as she heard her sister whine into their kiss, felt her fingers tighten across Lily’s hair and skin. Nor could she be bothered to track time any further, or indeed care about much of anything in comparison to the tight heat consuming her that not even the ocean breeze could dissipate. She just kept trying to hug Lilac tighter, gripping into her skin, exploring Lilac’s mouth in a chase for more that she couldn’t satisfy.
She almost didn’t notice Lilac’s hand leaving her back, but she jolted and moaned when that hand squeezed her breast, and then firmly stroked down her side to squeeze her thigh. The heat was getting unbearable, but she couldn’t stand the idea of breaking the kiss- her sister tasted good, and it felt like every lick wiped away a little more of the tension she’d been building up to this point. The decision was made for her, though, when Lilac squeezed her breast again, and then pushed on her, to separate them for the first time in- Lily wasn’t sure, a few minutes at least, surely? It had felt like so long but it couldn’t have been. She realized, a second later, that she was panting for breath; they both were. That considered, maybe at least a few seconds apart would be a good idea. Just a few.
Lilac recovered her breath first, though she still wasn’t managing more than a whisper. “More?”
Lily nodded, almost frantically, and lunged forward, but her sister held her at bay, and shifted up. “Bed”
Again, the single word galvanized Lily to action. She suspected she’d do anything that sweet, lust-addled voice of Lilac’s told her to right now. She barely registered getting off her sister and walking back inside, but she turned and her breath halted hard. Before her, striding towards her smoothly, was her entirely naked elder sister. Lily marveled, briefly, at how quickly she’d done that- gently chided herself for part of her surprise at this progress. Given their similarities, was it really that shocking that her sister’s lust might run as deep as her own?
She didn’t have time for a third thought, or any of the ones that would’ve followed, as her sister almost roughly pushed her into the bed, tugging at her loose pajamas as she went. She had just enough time to recognize the almost frightening degree of need in Lilac’s eyes before she caught up and conceded, yanking her clothes off and shuffling towards the pillows as her sister followed her, crawling over her and, finally, descending on her. The heat as Lilac rested on her, held her tight, and kissed her again felt an order of magnitude sweeter than before- the bed was soft, and rather than holding herself up, now she was being sunk into the sheets. But more than anything, it was the divine feeling of her sister’s warm skin pressed against hers, making her squirm just to feel more of it as she wrapped her arms tightly around Lilac. She felt like she was losing her mind, completely enveloped by electrifying heat and soft warmth, streaked with spikes of pleasure as Lilac’s hands wandered and squeezed, or as their bodies moved together just right, and all of it in service to the hungry kisses and licks and gentle bites that she couldn’t resist if she wanted to. She was moaning gently but freely now, and it was difficult to think. A nip to her ear made her shiver- involuntarily, she thinks, but it’s getting harder to tell the difference.
In this moment, she feels a brief surge of wonder at their similarities- their nearly identical curves, the manes of fluffy thick hair, their bodies mostly soft and only lightly toned from exercise that was more out of obligation than anything. Even Lilac’s lips felt like they must be nearly the same, though that didn’t stop her from needing them on her own more and more. There were only two obvious differences; one being her sister’s more fully developed breasts, but she’d have plenty of time with those to herself later, she was sure. The other being that she was nearly a head shy of Lilac’s six feet whatever it was- it was a little unfair, she thought, that even at this age she was so obviously the younger of the two.
She dug her fingers into Lilac’s back and arched, rubbing the two together and savoring the hot thrill of how damn good Lilac felt. She admitted to herself, silently, that the difference in size really worked to her favor right now. She knew she’d want to be on top sometimes, but right now this was everything she needed- no, not everything. Definitely more of this, actually. She tries to say as much, ask to start towards the climax, but to her surprise the words aren’t forming anymore. Not a problem, nonverbal works just fine, and so she bucks against Lilac, hoping- knowing- her sister will understand.
Her sister moans into their kiss, then pulls herself up- too far up, Lily finds herself whining with need, but is abruptly silenced as Lilac takes a leg over her shoulder and slots their lower lips together. She hears Lilac’s low moan, but she can barely register- her own voice is caught in her throat as her back arches. Another stroke of Lilac’s hips into hers streaks up her spine like white fire, and she takes a stuttered breath as Lilac’s grip on her leg tightens. She’d known that sex with her sister would feel amazing, given all the emotional weight she had in it, but this was further than she’d been ready for. She felt like- another stroke nearly wiped the thought from her- she felt like much more of this would too much for her to process.
Not that she could bring herself to make Lilac stop, even if she could make her muscles move. She was picking up the pace, and gently calling Lily’s name. Lily bucked her hips into Lilac, rewarded with a wondrous spike of pleasure and a needy moan from above her, and that was it for her. Any thoughts other than getting more of this sensation, hearing more of those sounds, were cancelled, as she started matching Lilac’s thrusts with her own. It was difficult, she found, to work out the rhythm, but everything she did felt so good she could hardly bring herself to care.
She could feel herself getting hotter, higher, tighter, far more so than she’d ever felt before, and getting there faster, too. She’d become so wet they were practically sliding against each other now, and Lilac had one hand squeezed firmly on Lily’s breast, seemingly for stability as much as for the sake of it. Lilac’s sweet voice was floating around her, consisting of Lily’s name and sharp moans, and the entire rest of the world had become a sort of abstract distant background. She needed more, it was too much, she needed it not to stop, she was going to snap, it wasn’t enough. She was shuddering, hands gripped tightly on the bedsheets around her. She was loudly calling Lilac’s name and nearly yelling her pleasure. It was all starting to blur together, and all she could really focus on was to keep going, don’t stop, keep the motions going, in pursuit of some unknown peak that, if she could just reach it-
And then she did. All at once, it felt like her entire body seized, and she screamed her voice ragged. All at once, the heat that had been building to such unbearable levels combusted, multiplied, spread throughout every inch and seared her with sheer ecstasy before slowly simmering down as she gasped for air.
She lay there, staring at the ceiling, twitching and shivering gently as the sensations evaporated off of her. It had been far too much and somehow not enough- it had been the single highest point of thrill and bliss she’d ever felt. She glanced over at her sister; panting, like she was, and with a beautiful expression on her face. A blissful smile, her eyes closed, resting against Lily’s leg.
Lily just barely managed to convince her lungs to take a deep breath, trying to calm down even slighty. She’d just had sex with her sister. A wave of guilt passed through her, briefly, at the thought. It hadn’t escaped her that this was generally considered wrong, but she felt amazing. She’d pleasured herself plenty of times, but this was the first time she’d had sex with another person. The difference was unreal- though, she suspected that only Lilac could make it feel quite this good. She found herself wondering how often she could have this. A brief wash of panic as she realized just how loudly she’d screamed- never mind their parents, their friends the next house over probably heard that. She told herself it’d be alright, though. She was clever enough to come up with an excuse- a horror game or something, maybe- and if Lilac backed her up, they’d be taken at their word.
“Lily.” She heard, gently, and was pulled into a kiss before she could think of a response. A sweet, lingering kiss that made her moan again before it was broken.
“Lily.” Lilac said, again. “Are you okay?”
Lily nodded, not sure she had her voice under her command. Okay was an understatement. She felt glorious. Lilac nodded in turn, as though she understood that. “I feel pretty amazin’ too. Normally I’d go again, but I think instead we need t’get clothes on right quick and pretend we were watchin’ a horror somethin’ on your tablet. And honestly, Lil, I might just fall right asleep after, so let’s leave the talkin’ for tomorrow, yeah?”
Again, Lily nodded. She felt like passing out too, now she thought about it. She forced herself to move, though, since first the two had some lying to do.
Still, once the act was over and sleep was the only thing left to do, she could still allow herself the reward of sleeping with Lilac as opposed to her own bed. And to her pleasant surprise, Lilac pulled her in close, substituting her younger sister for the plushies she normally wrapped herself around. Lily settled herself in to the soft warmth, feeling like her heart and soul were being soothed by it.
She hadn’t won yet, she drowsily reminded herself. Not completely. Casual sex was one thing as far as Lilac was concerned, she knew, but her older sister had nearly draconian standards when it came to courtship and the idea of an exclusive relationship. And that’s what Lily was after now- she needed Lilac to herself. For most people it would have been a terrible uphill battle, but for Lily…
She smiled contentedly to herself as she snuggled in a bit more. Lilac’s preferences, her likes and dislikes, her pet peeves and secret loves, how she weighed her every standard and where the dealbreakers were; nobody knew Lilac better than she did, and nobody had more time with Lilac than she did. It wouldn’t be an easy effort, and others might briefly contest her for Lilac’s attention, but she was sure to win the war.
She was determined. And, she had a plan. She sighed happily as Lilac gently brought Lily’s head to the crook of her neck, stroking her hair. Lilac would belong to her, one way or the other.