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Chapter Text

Magic Ninja Courtroom Pointers

Naruto ran from the crowd, wishing as hard as he could that he could be anywhere else. He felt a wrenching inside him, spinning him into blackness. It's happening again! He inwardly cheered.

He vanished. The horde started to stumble over one another, the ones in front staring in shock. The object of their scorn was inexplicably no longer there.

Naruto reappeared in the Hokage’s office, where the Sandaime caught him. He hugged the little boy and smoothed his hair, resolving to take him out for ramen sometime soon.

"They were chasing you again?”

“Uh huh,” He nodded.

"I can teach you to hide from them, if you like.”

“Okay! Thanks, Gramps!”

Later that night, as Naruto hid in his apartment, he wished with all his might that he had somebody who was like him in all ways that mattered. A child who suffered, who wanted someone, who had love to give and wanted to be loved. His gut twitched, and unbeknownst to him, the nine tailed fox's seal began to transfer regenerative chakra at an intense rate as he spent another energy, another part of his body, to a life threatening degree. His vision swam, he saw dots, and he passed out. Red energy surrounded him, bringing him back from the brink of permanent consequences.
——

"I've never seen anything more disgraceful! You must have cheated… Imagine a worthless imp such as yourself making us think you'd ever score higher than our Dudders! Do you recall him burning the toast last year when he was five, Vernon?"

The tirade continued, and little Harry Potter wished he could be anywhere else. Preferably somewhere with someone who loved him and would be able to understand him. Tears silently trickled from his eyes as he shivered. His magic swirled in his gut.

Petunia stopped ranting as her hated nephew vanished. Bollocks. This would be trouble. She just knew it.
——

Neko vanished as he felt the nine tails' chakra, going to fetch Kuma and Inu. He brought back his fellow Anbu, and saw two collapsed boys, one of which was recovering slowly, due to the Kyuubi's chakra, and the other, who was ghastly still. He touched the black haired boy, feeling for a pulse. When he didn't find one, he used lightning jutsu to restart the boy's heart, followed by mystical palms. The energy drain was intense.

Naruto moaned as he started coming to, feeling as horrid as he'd ever felt in his six years. His hand flopped onto the other boy's, and red chakra began leaking into his system. Naruto instinctively cuddled the other boy, then collapsed back into sleep as the Kyuubi chakra healed them both.

Neko made no move to separate them. The black haired boy was stealing less of his chakra through the mystical palm technique. Besides, the boys looked adorable as the small black headed one wriggled into Naruto's embrace.

"It turns out I wasn't needed after all," said Kuma as he left via shunshin.

"Take five, Neko-sensei," said Inu. "I've got this."

Neko used shunshin to go to the hokage's office.

The Hokage barked, "Report!"

"Naruto was using the Kyuubi chakra to heal himself. There was an exhaustion there, but it wasn't quite chakra exhaustion, and the other boy that we saw there had it much worse. I brought him back to life with lightning jutsu, and Naruto sleep hugged him, causing the Kyuubi chakra to start healing him as well. That boy will have a portion of the Kyuubi's chakra in his system for the rest of his life, which is good for him, otherwise, he likely would have lost whatever power he and Naruto used to come together. Inu is watching them both."

"Excellent. I will go and see them now." The Hokage sped from the room.

Naruto groaned, feeling tired in every muscle, bone, and organ. He grabbed his pillow that he cuddled with at night and brought it closer to him. Wait, pillows didn't move like that. His eyes popped open, and he saw a boy with dusky hair that was just as spiky as his with a scar on his forehead and three whisker marks on each cheek.

"Oooh…!" Naruto grinned and pulled the boy closer, starting to happy cry. "He's here! He's really here! I love him! He's so perfect!"

Harry awoke to the sensation of being held, for, as far as he could remember, the very first time. A blond boy was patting his cheek and crying, and smiling..! Harry's face took on the same emotion as he threw the arm he wasn't lying on over the blond boy, and returned the fierce hug.

"Best friend?" Said Harry.

"Brother?" Asked Naruto at the same time.

"Always!" They answered together.

"I'm Harry," said the black headed boy.

"I'm Naruto! Were you really just as lonely and hated as I was?"

"I think so," said Harry. "Does your family work you really hard doing all the gardening, cooking, and everything, telling you you were worthless and freakish?"

"No, but almost everyone in the village calls me a demon, and only a handful of people want me around. They also charge me a lot more for ramen at the store than everyone else. You have the same marks as I do, so…" Naruto frowned, guiltily.

"What marks?" Said Harry, hand going to his forehead.

"Not that one. The whiskers on your cheeks, like mine!"

"I have cheek whisker marks?" Harry asked. "When I saw your scar, I just assumed…"

"We made each other have matching marks! We really were perfect for each other."

"Ah- Ahem," said Sarutobi.

An existence away, a pink abomination had a chill go down her spine, as if her worst nightmare had used her trademark.

"Harry-ani, this is Sarutobi Hiiruzen-sama, or as I like to call Ojii-sama, or just Jijii, when things are less formal. He's in charge of pretty much everything in the village, and is one of the big movers and shakers in the elemental nations. You bow to him like this." Naruto rose and bowed deeply, hands making the sign of fire, head up, eyes looking at Sarutobi. Harry imitated him.

Sarutobi gathered the boys into his arms. "Naruto-kun, you frightened us," he began seriously.

Naruto stiffened. "Am I in trouble?"

"You most certainly were!" Sarutobi barked, laughing grimly with relief. "Normal trainees are expected to get chakra exhaustion or exhaustion of whatever energy allows you you to teleport, not you!"

"What happened?"

"The reason you both are still alive is also the cause of Leaf Village's hatred of you. If you hadn't had that source of power, Harry wouldn't have whisker marks, and he might not even have a beating heart!"

Naruto gasped, hugging Harry tightly.

"Does that mean I'm to blame? I wished to be with someone who could understand me. Was I wrong?" Asked Harry.

"Wait! I also wished to have someone who was like me," said Naruto.

"Your wishes were dangerous, to be certain, but you have survived." Sarutobi said, stroking the other boy's hair. "I trust neither of you will make such extravagant wishes in the future?"

"No sir!" The boys chorused.

"Excellent. Now, how about we go get some ramen?"

"Yeah, ramen!" Cheered Naruto.

Harry swiftly discovered that he loved the taste of his brother's favorite ramen. It made him feel warm and tingly. It made him feel that he belonged. Sadly, not everyone would make him feel that way.

"'Aaaann' stay out, demon brats!" The door to the new shop clanged shut as Naruto and Harry were thrown out on their butts.

"We should prank him," the younger boy whispered to Harry.

"How?"

"The teleport we can do! We can hide all his stuff by teleporting it off, and then using henge on it, and then after he hires ninja to come find it, we make it look like he just forgot where he left it!"

"That's great!" Harry grinned, wriggling in anticipation.

When they had been caught later, using chakra to enhance their vision, the twins (as they thought of themselves) had rolled laughing as the owner raged until he cried.

Class time had been generally much easier for Harry in this world. He got to learn new, strictly fun stuff, like chakra manipulation, the history of the leaf village, Target practice, and other ninja appropriate topics. Naruto, on the other hand, always wanted to ditch lectures. Something about him wants to go fast, thought Harry, go fast and have fun. He gets bored really really easily. He's not like Inu.

Inu was their anbu guard. Now that they had learned how to conceal themselves, Inu would play teleport hide and go seek with them. Inu always found Naruto first. He was really good at finding, and it was naturally hard for Naruto to conceal himself, especially with nine tails of chakra sealed into his body.

Inu had also taught them a jutsu. Basically, what it did was wrap their bodies in flame, and turn them into living tornados.

He also played tag with them. He was obscenely good. Very very fast. Faster than either of them could keep up with. Harry could see, and Naruto could occasionally touch, but both knew that the only reason they ever won was because Inu let them.

They also played tag with bushy brow and bushy brow sensei. Unsurprisingly, bushy brow sensei usually won.

Whenever Naruto and Harry both played hooky with their school friends and they played tag, Naruto was usually the winner, but sometimes it was Harry.

The game changer with bushy brow Sensei and Inu came when they started using their teleportation to catch up with them. With Guy Sensei, he forbade them from using the technique with Lee, but with Inu, he started sparring with them! Working together, the two could touch Inu some of the time.

Finally came the last day Inu would spend with the two boys. He slipped his mask off, told them who he was, asked them to look after his little brother please, and then left on the most terrible mission of his life. Hours later, the entire Uchiha clan, bar an exceedingly tiny handful, was dead. Sasuke Uchiha was an orphan too.

"Hey, Sasuke, wanna play tag with us?" Naruto asked.

"No." The Uchiha said flatly. "I don't play. Happiness is dumb. I only train."

"But we are training. We're training to hit and dodge really really fast people." Said Harry.

"You two are the opposite of me," Sasuke said. "I had the whole world." He twisted away and used fire nature chakra to evaporate his tears.

"Back when I was elsewhere, my relatives wouldn't always feed me," said Harry. "So I would steal food. Everything you gain now, every ounce of happiness, is stolen from your brother."

A small smile appeared on Sasuke's face. "Maybe you're right," he chuckled. "What if we sparred with your teleporting technique?"

The two brothers had gained another friend.

Sarutobi Hiiruzen mused in front of his fireplace. Back in his day, the extra power source held by Naruto and Hari-kun was less common. He hadn't always had it, but Mito had it, all her descendants had it, and most of his grandchildren had it, and even he now had it. Minato and Kushina had had it, and so did most Uchiha. It was exceedingly common among clan children, though those without shinobi heritage could also just have it. In fact, the longer the other power was around, it seemed the more people would have it, without regard for family history.

Why just the other day, he had heard…

Sakura's stomach was screaming in pain. She attempted to sweep aside thoughts that it wasn't worth it. Anything for Sas– those berries over there! They were edible, they had sugar, and her blood sugar was l o w. She wanted berries! Berries, berries, berries, berries! They were flying towards her! She managed to make them slow down and not waste her effort. Her muscles were shaky as she devoured her catch.

"And this, class, is why we need a proper diet with all the correct nutrition that a kunoichi needs to grow. What does this mean?"

"No diets!" The class chorused.

"E-eto, Sakura-san, would you like some of my extra onigiri?" Hinata Hyuuga asked kindly.

"Thank you!" Sakura exclaimed before devouring it whole.
—-

She was very small when the strange ninja kidnapped her. Thankfully, that didn't last long. Hinata had gotten terrified, and teleported herself right back to her father's arms. Hyuuga Hiashi had walked right by the kidnapper with a smile, and made his fingertips glow with chakra in such a way that only the kidnapper could see. That had been enough.
—--

Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji's usage of power had happened at the same time. The three little children had been playing The Burdensome Game quietly as Shikaku napped in his easy chair, when Yoshino burst in, seized Shikaku by the ear and demanded that he go feed the deer.

"It's too warm and pretty a day for you children to be inside the house playing some silly board game. Why don't you go outside and play ninja?" Yoshino suggested.

"Cuz Daddy said we were training our brains?" Shikamaru said in a questioning tone.

"Well if Daddy had his way, you would train nothing but your brains. Go outside." She said, trying to take the board away from them.

Chouji had been training all day before coming to Shikamaru's house. He was exhausted, which was a major factor in Ino deciding to just play a board game. He started bawling and gripped The Burdensome Game extra hard, causing little finger dents to form in it. Yoshino had flexed a bit, causing the game to start breaking between them. Ino grabbed the game, covering it in blue energy and trying to fix it.

"Shikamaru, help!" Ino demanded in a shrill little girl voice.

Shikamaru grabbed the game board too, and said, "Hey, Chouji, we need your strength!"

Chouji very quickly wished he could use the partial expansion jutsu his dad had shown him. Yoshino found herself being thrust from the game board in bewilderment.

"Let's get outta here!" Shikamaru had said in a panic, grabbing them both and vanishing away.

The future Ino-Shika-Chou team's powers had made themselves known in a display of teamwork.
—--

Other children had benefited from the power. Rock Lee for instance. It was his first day of ninjutsu, and he was scared. In one world, his fears would turn out to be justified, and his condition would be discovered. In this one, however, Rock Lee got up in front of his class, and wished with all his might that a bunshin would appear, and it did. The boy jumped up and down, and cheered, relief flooding his system. He did a bunshin!
—--

Earlier and elsewhere, Albus Dumbledore was freaking out. Harry's wellness meter had crashed! That was not supposed to happen unless Harry was dead! Tears appeared in his eyes, and lingered still a moment even as the wellness meter started to twitch. He was alive! The meter started flowing a little better, which was encouraging. A red energy suffused the toy, making it limp into a shivery, faltering dance. Good. He was being healed. Lord have mercy. What would he have done? What would he do? He knew one thing for certain: Petunia would answer.

"Pyotr, can I ask you for a favor?" He spoke to the open air.

An Elf dressed in a red and black flag appeared from the shadows, a smirk on his face. "Albus Dumbledore rang?"

"Yes. Could you take me to Hogsmeade? I need to apparate."

"Pyotr needs a Cockroach Cluster," said the Elf.

"I'll be happy to get you one, but time is of the essence. Harry Potter nearly died. I must question his relatives."

"Merlin's beard!" Pyotr exclaimed. "Pyotr takes Albus Dumbledore straight there!"

Petunia was still standing in the spot where she'd been taunting Harry when Wizard and Elf apparated in. Dumbledore had her and Vernon levitated and bound post haste. "Where is Harry Potter?!" He demanded. "What did you do to him?!"

Petunia peed herself. "I don't know! I don't! I swear I don't!"

Vernon held his tongue, shaking in terror as he realized that his other think was coming.

She felt a terrible, wrenching pain that came from her brain as Albus dove in, throwing her worst memories to the forefront as he searched for her last memories of Harry.

"You HURT him!" He exploded. "You caused him to use his magic in a way that threatened his very life! You very nearly MURDERED him!"

He searched his mind for an appropriate curse. "Infortunium Dei!"

They would be smitten as though it had been Longinus itself that had done the smiting. Dudley had been sitting on the floor, wailing as new thoughts and feelings started appearing in his mind when it happened. All of a sudden, a golden glow infused his body, and he started to float.

Petunia gasped in horror. "Not my Dudley!"

Dudley started panicking and flailing. He landed with a thump and became quiet. "Mummy and Daddy did something really bad, didn't they?" He murmured quietly.

"They did something horrific! They nearly murdered a child!" Albus explained.

"Is he going to be okay?" Petunia asked, quietly, still hovering.

"He died but for a moment. Luckily, he was immediately revived, treated and started to stabilize thereafter."

"Good." She whispered.

"He will never step through these doors again. I will see to that. Anyone who wounds a child so grievously that he threatens his magic and life to get away from them doesn't deserve to have a child. Come, Dudley."

It was like losing Telly privileges, but so much worse, Dudley reckoned as he rose and left, sparing his now lowered and unbound parents a glance, head otherwise down.
——

A few days later, Molly Weasley was casting like a madditch, levitating some things into place and enchanting other things to return themselves to their place. There was a child coming to stay! Harry Potter's own cousin, no less!

The Weasley siblings were running around like mad. Ginny and Ron were making noise. So were the twins, who were also running about. Percy just sat there, looking nervous and rubbing his nose, like he both did and didn't want to pick his nose. Bill and Charlie sat in the middle of the yard, whispering about the events. Something had happened to Harry Potter, and that thing had caused their mother to grow ghastly pale with a look of horror on her face. As a result, they would be getting a foster brother, but it wouldn't be Harry just yet. It was his cousin?

"They must've treated them both really bad," whispered Charlie.

"That's wha' I figure." Said Bill.

"Poor li'l Harry and Dudley."

"Mum's gonna spoil the life out of them."

"Yup."
——

"Point me Harry Potter," said Dumbledore, balancing his wand towards a map of the continent.

His wand fell off his hand, trying to angle itself up, and succeeded but for a moment. He grabbed his wand loosely, repeating the phrase. The wand rose to point to the ceiling.

"Huh," said Dumbledore quizzically.

He pushed down with his magic, beginning to rise through his chambers in unaided magical flight.

"Intocable!" He uttered, becoming intangible.

He rose up through the ceiling, his wand still pointing upward. He looked up into the blue sky. No wonder Harry had nearly died… he was on a different planet that supported human life! He hadn't kept up with the astronomy of ordinary folk so much, but he knew that Harry was a truly immense distance away!

He returned to his office, calling Fawkes to him. One of the truly marvelous things about Phoenixes and Elves, in his opinion, was their ability to go Through. There was a truly terrifying dimension between this and all others, and it was through this realm that Phoenixes teleported. The Chaos dimension touched on all places at once, enabling the Phoenix to go wherever it pleased. Normal wizarding apparition only went through normal space, but if you were a sapient magical considered Fey touched with the ability to teleport, chances were, you could go Through.

"Fawkes, would you go look in on Harry Potter for me, please?"

Fawkes gave an aquiline Cree, and vanished.

Chapter Text

Fawkes saw the two boys cuddling each other close, and cooed over the little human eaglets. Warm tendrils of Phoenix magic examined the scars and facial marks. Hmm. It would seem that the dark magic in Harry's scar was completely gone. Fawkes made a happy noise. His human would be pleased.

As the children played apparition and other fun powers tag, a red bird gazed down, delighting in the joy of the chicks. As Inu taught Naruto, the Phoenix watched, sensing the warm and grieving heart of the older child, and sang for him. After that day, Fawkes would watch Itachi.

He saw Danzo. He saw Uchiha plotting their coup. He saw a weeping thirteen year old claim his father's eyes for his own.

He turned his song up, a mourning dirge, as magical as he could make it. I am sorry this has happened to you.

Then Sasuke burst in.

"Why?"

Itachi, under the magic of the Phoenix song, wept just a quarter of a second too long. He shuttered his face, and said, "It was to prove myself. Tsukuyomi!"

He set Sasuke as himself in one of his last anbu missions. The very last bit of help with training he could give his brother.

Come with me. I can help you. What happened was not right.

Itachi's Sharingan saw the truth: the bird meant him no harm. He spoke with genjutsu so Sasuke wouldn't overhear.

How do you feel about the Leaf? Sasuke?

They are worthy of your protection.

I must report to the Hokage.

Excellent. I can take you straight there.
——

Sarutobi was startled but for a minute when Itachi appeared from flame. What was more surprising was the brilliantly colored red bird on his shoulder with fierce golden eyes. A summon?

I am looking after Itachi now. He is to be an ambassador between us, if he would.

"Where are you from, Bird?"

I am Fawkes, the familiar of Albus Dumbledore. He is to me as Tsume Inuzuka is to Kuromaru. He is to our society as you are to the Leaf: the leader of the Light. He sent me to find a missing child.

"Harry-kun," Sarutobi frowned in concern.

Yes.

"I will not return Harry to his kin. He told Naruto-kun everything about his life with them."

On that, we are fully agreed. Their abuse of Harry was such that he nearly died, and Albus took their own blood son because of it.

"What's this about me being an ambassador?" Itachi wondered.

We need a man that both parties can trust, and you deserve to heal. Also, you could learn our wizardry. There would not be much material from the first two years to learn, and you are a bright child. It will help you to learn our society.

"How do I know I can trust your people?" Sarutobi asked.

You have the little flame of our peoples' heart, a boy who could not have survived, and yet he did. He faced a spell that ends in death, and still he lives. His mother made him a Phoenix, and promised him victory.

"I would like to meet with Albus Dumbledore. See who he is."

He will be very glad that I have arranged the meeting.

"Go with him, Itachi, and report back in the morning," Sarutobi said, drawing two identical seals and giving one to Itachi.

Itachi and Fawkes vanished in a flame of fire.
——

Albus was reading in his recliner when Itachi and Fawkes popped in.

"Ah, Fawkes, who is this?"

Fawkes spoke, but only to Dumbledore. Only the most courageous, heartbreakingly loyal, guileful, and masterfully intelligent boy to possibly join Hogwarts as a third year that I have ever met. He was forced by love of his little brother to end the lives of his clan, most of whom have battlefield precognition.

"According to my friend, you may be a hatstall."

"Hatstall?"

"Here at Hogwarts, we sort students into four houses, Gryffindor for the brave, Hufflepuff for the loyal, Ravenclaw for the intelligent, and Slytherin for the cunning. Fawkes thinks you'd do well in any of them. But enough about that. Tell me about yourself."

"My name is Itachi Uchiha. I'm glad my brother is still alive, and that Naruto and Harry are safe and well enough. I hate war. My dream is that my little brother becomes a hero by defeating the one who took down our family. I have no time or health for hobbies. I wouldn't turn down Pocky or tomatoes if offered them. May I ask you to do the same?"

Albus pulled some pocky out of his desk drawer, and handed it to Itachi. "I am Professor Dumbledore, or Dumbledore-kyoju to you, I'm glad that the war against the dark has been put on hold for a number of years, I hate slavery and genocide, and states that normalize either, my dream for the future is to recieve warm socks for Christmas, and my hobbies include Alchemical research."

"The war against the dark?" Itachi queried.

"Those who practice Dark Arts are generally the most wealthy and powerful in our society," Dumbledore started.

Itachi associated them with the Uchiha.

"They hate outsiders to our culture, both racially and magically. If you are the descendant of foreign magicals, or you are descended from non-magicals but have magic, they hate you, badly, and they want you to disappear."

Itachi decided he hated them.

"They enslave Elves, and rule over them with wanton cruelty. They are the enemies of love, togetherness, and all that I seek to support in wizarding culture. My own father was one."

"The most powerful one of all from the past several decades was called Lord Voldemort. He excited the Blood purist mob to go to war against magicals born to ordinary parents, foreigners, and non-human participants in magical society. He sought to put them in camps to separate them from proper society." Albus' fist thudded into his desk. "As if we couldn't see where that would have gone!"

"Enslavement? Wiping them out?" Itachi questioned, mildly confused. His sharingan eyes had detected no lie.

"Yes. I forget that you're not from around here. Back in the thirties and forties we had something similar in a land to the southeast of here. They sought to rule over all the lands, bringing what they saw as their genetic superiority to every corner of the earth. I suspect Voldemort would have wanted the same thing."

"How horrible. What was done?"

"I trained the ones who his people hated. A genius witch named Lily Potter put an end to his corporeal presence for the time being, sadly at the cost of her own life."

"I see. So, he lacks a body and cannot wage war. What are the conditions of his return?"

"There are many dark rituals he could use to come back. In the meantime, I shall get started on preparing you for classes."
——

Itachi pulled out the seal, channeled a bit of chakra into it, and began to speak.

"Hokage-sama, this is Uchiha Itachi reporting in. Albus Dumbledore presents himself as a worthy ally of Konoha, at least as far as our values go. He seems to be a protector of children and members of underclasses in his society. I like him. I think you would like him as well. I have not yet tested his capacity for combat. I have little knowledge of their capacity for warfare, but will seek to rectify that as soon as possible."
——

"Dumbledore-kyoju, may I trouble you for a spar?" Itachi asked. "It shall not take long. I have been ill as long as I can remember, and all my spars last two minutes or less, according to my needs."

"Certainly. I understand you're a battlefield precognitive?"

"Yes. However, a non-battlefield precognitive of a high enough level can still outspeed me."

Area of effect spells. Speed spells. Albus expected this to be a challenge. He snuck in a scanning spell on Itachi, and gasped. No wonder that poor boy struggled with longer engagements! With a condition like his, it was wonderful that he could fight at all.

"Itachi," he asked. "Would you like me to remove the scarring around your heart and lungs?"

Itachi looked at Dumbledore, shocked at his offer.

"Are you saying that I don't have to die?"

"It would be a great loss were that not so."

Itachi felt his breaths become ten times as easy, and the air reached every single crevice and his lungs didn't hurt…! He got a grip on himself. He didn't know Dumbledore's abilities, and the future, and Dumbledore's intents, seemed hazy to Itachi's basic Sharingan. Danzo had certainly been able to play Itachi like a Koto.

"This is the Room of Requirement," Dumbledore announced. "It changes to suit the needs of the occupants. I will use it to open a portal to outside the castle's safeguards."

The room behind the doors that had appeared after Dumbledore contained a golden arch to an area near the forbidden forest. Itachi hid his relief that the environs were familiar. Dumbledore pulled a vial out of his pocket, and tapped it. It filled with a bright red liquid.

"Shall we?"

Itachi nodded, his hands flying into a ram seal. Dumbledore downed the liquid and went intangible. Itachi used genjutsu to vanish. Dumbledore felt a pressure in his brain. It was subtle. If he hadn't been a master of legilimency, he could never have perceived it. There was a pressure in the air. Dumbledore apparated, partially dodging the foresight aimed lightning blast. Half his side sagged, and he tapped his phial again, though this time the liquid was different. Ah, there, he thought as his left side became functional again.

He used his magic to press at the buzzing in his mind. There was a release! He could see Itachi! The young ninja finished the signs for the great fireball a moment later. A truly oppressive heat bore down on Dumbledore, who conjured a ball of snow and ice to surpass Itachi's fireball.

Dumbledore felt himself begin to be confused. Concentration became next to impossible. He used the same thing as he used previously to make Itachi become visible, and the fog cleared. He conjured a whirlwind, and sent it spinning at the teen.

Itachi used shunshin to get behind Dumbledore and the rush of wind. He converted his own chakra output to wind, enhanced and cloned his shuriken, and spun himself, flinging them out in a pattern that covered all the area around him. Dumbledore countered with a swish, transforming all the shuriken headed his way into twigs. Itachi grinned, and used the same spell to create a tree covering. The trees ignited with a snap. Itachi knew the spar had taken on a new dimension as Dumbledore sped away from him in flight, downing the last of his potions

"Glacis!" Dumbledore pronounced, snuffing most of the blazing trees with his spell.

Dumbledore began casting rapidly, lightning bolt after lightning bolt, as fast as Itachi could move. Itachi felt a pressure in his brain. Genjutsu! He released it, but it immediately came back. Hmm. He focused on the sensation of releasing, focusing it on the intrusion. It dispelled somewhat, then tried to press in deeper.

DDDIIIIINNNNGGGGG! The Bell marking the end of the match rang, marking no one's victory. Itachi bowed to Dumbledore as a proper ninjutsuka ought, and took Dumbledore's hand when it was offered. He kept in mind that neither would be familiar with the other's manners. Dumbledore imitated him, bowing low, with uplifted head. Itachi smiled at his effort.

"Thank you for the spar. You are highly adept at your precognition. I was hard pressed to keep up!" Dumbledore said.

"You yourself would have to be a battlefield precognitive to keep up with me at those speeds," Itachi returned. "A good job. You could likely keep up with me to a terrifying extent were we going all out."

Dumbledore grinned, his eyes glinting, as he led Itachi downstairs. "Correct, I suppose," he said. "Is there anything I can help you with, food, water, healing?"

"Yes." Itachi's face went blank. "My ocular techniques have a weakness. If I implant a Sharingan of similar strength to my own, I will lose that weakness. Likewise, I would save my birth eyes to give them to my little brother for the same reason. Is it possible for this to be arranged?"

"My abilities with neurological healing are limited," Dumbledore explained. "Therefore, to Madam Pomfrey we shall go."
——

"Well, I don't know what you expect me to do, Albus," said the Mediwitch. "I'm not exactly a Neurowizard myself!"

"I know how to heal pretty much anything due to my condition and ability to copy techniques. Supervise me?" Itachi said, creating a Shadow Clone.

The Shadow Clone removed Itachi's eyes and attached his father's to the ocular nerve, while using a lightning and ijutsu based technique to hold the nerve open. He would have his father's ocular techniques with the Mangekyo now, not just Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, and Susanoo. He felt the words resonate through him. YAMA and UZUME. YAMA allowed him to summon blazing stones from the heavens. UZUME allowed him to restore a corrupted or hurt person to a happier, more healed state. He knew the stories of the first Hokage. This was Therapy no jutsu.

"I have upgraded my mangekyou. It shall no longer damage me to use it. If you present me with a person who has injuries from combat that make them reactive, or someone who has undergone tragedy, I can test my non-combat skill on healing them." Itachi said, sealing his original eyes away.

"You might be the best candidate for that, Itachi-kun," Dumbledore said, gently. "It is a new skill, after all, and we don't know quite what it does."

"Understandable," Itachi said with a mirthless smile. Itachi returned the clone's chakra to himself, reforming it, and looking the clone in the eye, as it pronounced, "UZUME."

Itachi understood. His grief became far less ruinous, and his wish for death departed as he understood his parents pride in him and their surrender to their demise. They loved me, and they understood that they did wrong. Also, I needed to protect Sasuke. There's not a thing on this earth I wouldn't do for him, and m-m-m they felt the same. That's okay. He smiled softly.

"Uzume grants perspective and also some of the brain chemicals needed to be well and happy to the person on whom it is used. It can also be used to help someone in crisis. I can do it two or three times a day."

"Good job!" Dumbledore said with a sad smile. "Were school in session and you had been sorted, I would give you house points."

"Thank you."
—–

"I know the Hokage said not to wish anyone else here… but what if we did it different?" Naruto asked Harry.

"Yeah! I have a really good idea, I think," Harry answered with a grin. "Y'see, there was this story about kids going in a wardrobe and coming out somewhere else."

"Who should we wish to come to us? More siblings?"

"Or a dad, or a Mum!"

"More family, with a parent!"

They grabbed their closet door, both wishing that the door would one day be able to open, leading more family to them. A universe away, a man who usually wore a blue suit felt a pulling towards the courthouse. Hmm. Did the door open for them again?

"Phoenix, did you feel it?" One of the older kids asked, horns up, the air around him rotating.

"Yes, Apollo," said Phoenix. "Where are your siblings?"

"Zuko and Trucy are reading and playing games, respectively." Apollo said.

"Never mind then. Hey, Trucy! Zuko! We're going to the courthouse!"

"You gotta trial today, papa?" Asked Trucy.

"I don't think so," said Zuko, rubbing his burn scar. "Nobody's called requesting him, and it isn't like with… with Mia-obasama."

He frowned sadly. Apollo and Zuko had been the hardest hit of the children. Mia had been Apollo's adoptive mom for 4 years, and Zuko had had two years to get close to his fellow prince, and the Aunt that had been his surrogate mother.

"There's something calling me there," Phoenix explained.

Raising or helping to raise three bender children while learning bending and so much more from Prince Iroh had really raised his spiritual senses. That was discounting Mia's mentorship and Dahlia's… attack. Most would have learned something from that.

He pulled his goldenrod shirt and saffron vest out of his closet.

"Everyone, go get ready," he said, swooping up Trucy with his air bending, and tossing her towards her room.

"Wheee!" Trucy exclaimed.
——

"How do we know it's working?" Naruto asked.

"I dunno. I just know I'm gonna quit if I get tired."

"Yeah," said Naruto, getting a worried look on his face. "I don't want you to hurt yourself like happened last time."

The doorknob began to glow as a foreign energy source began to emanate from the closet.

"Whatever called us here, it's on the other side of this door," Phoenix announced as he and his children energy bent the janitorial closet next to the one Zuko and, indeed, a large chunk of Phoenix and his children's ancestors, had come through.

"They're coming!" A child voice exclaimed on the other side. "Let's open it up!"

Naruto and Harry yanked the door open and Phoenix stumbled through, correcting himself nearly instantly.

"I like him! He likes orange!" Naruto shouted.

"I'm Phoenix Wright. Did you call us here?"

Zuko, Apollo, and Trucy were the next through.

"They're my age!" Exclaimed Trucy. "I'm Trucy Wright! Would you like to see a magic trick?"

Harry made a scared moaning noise at the m word, and Naruto nodded eagerly, but then hugged Harry as he realized what was happening. "This is Harry Uzumaki, my brother. I'm Naruto."

"I'm Zuko. I suppose I'm a prince? Technically, Apollo is too, kinda. Are you okay?" Zuko asked, sitting down next to Harry.

"Uncle Vernon isn't here," Harry tried to answer, shaking. "He isn't going to hurt me. He can't hurt me. It's okay. I can see the, umm, thing. Uh. No, I can't."

His heart was about to go out of his chest.

"Okay, breath with me. 1, 2, 3, hold, 2, 3, out, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, sorry," Harry said miserably.

"No need to be sorry," said Zuko, smiling gently. "I know about this sort of thing." He touched his eye.

"Oh, evil guardians?" Asked Harry with a weak grin.

"Yeah, pretty much. But Phoenix and my Uncle have pretty much replaced Ozai. Also, therapy helps."

"Whenever we heard a mention of…" Harry cast a terrified eye at Trucy. "My uncle would…"

"Would you like a hug?" Zuko asked, offering his arms to Harry.

"Please?" Zuko gathered Harry up.

"If "Uncle Vernon" ever shows up again, I'll set him on fire," he promised. "He'll never touch you again if I have anything to say about it."

Trucy bit her lip, looking sad. "I'm really sorry I scared you! I didn't know that you had a horrible person ruining your life too."

"You… you like doing the, umm, the tricks?" Harry asked.

"You can call them sleight of hand or misdirection, if you want," said Trucy.

"O-okay," Harry said cautiously. "Can you show me a trick please?"

"Yeah!" Trucy said, hopping up and down, producing a coin from behind Harry's ear.

"Wow," he said.

"Now, watch me turn it into something else," she announced, placing the coin in her hat. "See? Ain't got much up there but the coin," she said, showing Harry the inside of her hat.

"Right," Harry agreed with a smile.

Trucy turned it right side up, and stuck her arm inside it, and pulled out a stuffed puppy with antlers.

"See?" She asked with a grin.

"It's amazing," said Harry, just looking at the puppy.

"I'm keeping you." Zuko announced. "I don't care if papi does or not. I'm keeping you."

"I'm going to find the guys who did this to you, and I'm gonna punch both their faces in," announced Naruto.

"Get in line. You can have first dibs on Vernon, but Zuko's my brother, so I'm gonna be the one to punch Ozai," said Apollo, ruffling Naruto's hair.

"He can be my brother too! We can both punch the bad guys." Said Naruto. "Ninjas are good punchers and we protect people, and Harry and I are gonna be the best ninjas!"

"Okay," said Apollo, kneeling in front of Naruto, "hit me with your best shot! My daddy– well, one of them– taught me how to punch. Let's see what you got."

Naruto wound up his arm at two really weird angles. His wrist was bent, and his thumb was inside his fist. Apollo grabbed his sleeve as he thrust it almost sideways at Apollo.

"When you punch, punch straight. It's faster and hits better. Don't tuck your thumb inside your hand or bend your wrist. That's a good way to break them."

Naruto thought about this for a second. This wasn't what Ichiro sensei had taught him. But… to his knowledge, the horned boy wasn't two faced like Ichiro. He'd try it!

He started over like had been said, sent the punch straight to the older boy, and it felt great! He loved the new punch!

"That's it! Now give it the old one two!"

Naruto moved really fast, putting his chakra into his punches. A little cloud appeared in Apollo's hands. He quickly learned to use his airbending to deflect the now powerful blows the little boy was putting out.

"Good job! I need to quit now."

Two little arms threw themselves around Apollo's neck. "Thanks, nii-chan!"

Apollo melted. "I am Apollo Justice, and my heart is made of goo."

"Don't forget we need to go steal today's dinner!" Harry said.

"Steal? No. I'm buying." Zuko said. "Or Phoenix is. What do you want?"

"Extra spicy curry ingredients!"

"I like making curry," Harry said.

The other kids were so kind. He hoped they got to keep them. He looked around… where would they put them? Uhhh… Phoenix and Trucy could take the bedroom, and he and Naruto and Zuko and Apollo could get bunk beds in the living room. Wait, that would never work. Zuko and Apollo were princes. They probably had whole rooms the size of their little apartment. Maybe they had room for them? He wouldn't ask. He couldn't ask. If he asked, he was ungrateful. He shivered.

"Phoenix, we have to get them outta here," Zuko pled their case. "Look at their walls. I'm pretty sure they have leaks. Their pipes are rusted. They're two little children living, apparently by themselves, in this hovel. Are you living by yourselves?"

He asked.

"Yep!" Grinned Harry weakly. "It's just the two of us!"

"I figured as much. You need older people to stay with you and teach you things, and love you." Zuko said.

"You mean like Hokage-ojiisama?"

"Does he live with you?"

"No, but he does love us and teach us." Naruto said.

"He isn't allowed to take us in. He explained that bad things would happen if we were to be adopted by anyone who were to want to," Harry finished.

"Well, I'm not a citizen here, I am extremely respected in some circles, and I am going to take you in myself," said Phoenix, determinedly.

Was this a bad decision? Possibly. But if it was, he had his parents, Uncle Iroh, and the Order of the White Lotus to fall back on if he should need it. He did have room. Sort of.

"Talk to Hokage-jiijii," said Naruto. "He'll, um, make sure it's safe?"

"I will," said Phoenix, ruffling their heads. "Zuko, Apollo, take my card and go shopping for dinner. I'll take care of Trucy. Harry, Naruto, you're not my kids yet, and I have no legal right to decide where you are or should go, but I'll ask if you would follow my boys home and have supper with us. It might be safer this way. If I don't return by tomorrow, call your uncle, please," he said to Zuko.

"Yes, sir," Zuko answered. "Come on?"

He offered a hand to both boys, and lead them through.

Phoenix braced himself as he exited the run down building. It was time to see what this Hokage was like. He had no doubt this world was dangerous, but at least the leadership pretended to care for children. He hoisted Trucy into his arms, and walked down the street. Most of the people more oddly dressed were headed towards a particular building. It was pretty high. This is where I need to go.

"Hello?" He asked the receptionist. "Who would I speak to if I wanted to see about adopting a couple of kids in Konoha?"

"Are these children Konoha native? Are they in the Shinobi program?"

"One of them is the first one. I think they're both in the Shinobi program. One of them mentioned punching my oldest son's abusive former parent's face in."

"Can you tell me their names?" The receptionist asked.

"Harry and Naruto Uzumaki."

"Oh." The atmosphere turned icy. Was the receptionist a water bender? "You don't want to adopt those two."

"Why not?" Phoenix asked with a mild glare.

"Because 6 years ago, on the birthdate of one of them, a monster fox ripped into the outskirts of Konoha and destroyed it!" The receptionist explained. "It stopped when the baby was born, with three little whisker marks on it's cheeks. Lord Hokage says treat him as a hero, but all I see is just that demon. And now he's gone and made the other little boy evil too!"

Phoenix's stomach twisted in rage. It was fairly clear to him that Naruto wasn't a monster. Naruto had been used to stop the fox. Of that he had little doubt.

"Send him in, Makoto-kouhai," said an elderly voice.

The receptionist waved him into the next room.

"So you want to adopt Naruto and Harry. Who are you, and how long have you known them?"

"Phoenix Wright. Defense Attorney. Friend of the Princes of the Fire Nation. Heir of Mia Fey. I haven't known them long. But I saw the cracks in the walls of their apartment. Anyone would want better for them."

Sarutobi grinned with a shrewd mischief. "You aren't a member of a shinobi clan, are you?"

"No, sir. No former shinobi in my bloodline, as far back as I can remember."

"Excellent," said Sarutobi, who then sobered his expression. "You'll understand, of course, that you will have to be tested. I won't have Naruto or Harry go off with someone that will do them harm, or someone unable to protect them. I will watch your child myself. Is this acceptable?"

Phoenix made a little handsign, asking, "You'll see to it that no harm comes to Trucy?"

Sarutobi met his gaze. "I swear it."

Trucy beamed at her dad. It would be good. She pulled her hand out of his, and ran to the Hokage. Sarutobi pretended not to notice the secretive communication that went between them. It spoke well of Phoenix that he was as protective as he could be. He lifted the little girl and put her in his lap with a gentle smile.

"I'll take your tests and I'll pass them both," Phoenix declared.

"Makoto-kouhai, send for Inoichi." There was no better mind dancer in Konoha, and Sarutobi didn't want this Phoenix anywhere near the T part of T&I.

"Neko-san!" He said after pushing a button on his radio. "A young man with no Clan is looking to adopt someone. A pair of someones. You will aid in his fitness exam."

Neko was there in a flash. "Who are you?" He asked with impotent ire at the man who would adopt someone he saw as a little brother.

"Phoenix Wright. Attorney at Law. Air nomad, if that means anything to you."

"Neko-san will be doing your combat exam. Naruto-kun and Harry-kun both have many enemies. I will not entrust them to someone who cannot protect them."

"Understood."

Neko pulled a pair of bells from his pocket.

"You will be given one day to gather a team of two others to help you fight that you will expect to be in the children's life. In the meantime, Inoichi-sama shall examine your mind."

The blond shinobi arrived through the window right on cue. Phoenix nodded gravely.

"I'm ready."

Inoichi nodded back, put his hands in the ram seal, and slipped into Phoenix's mindscape. Immediately, he was beset by explosions. A fast thinker, he noted. The landscape was tall buildings on one side, filled with machines that made racket and went fast, and people on foot and on two wheeled mechanical conveyances trying desperately to stay out of their way. There was a grand body of water dividing his mind in half, over which stretched a tremendous, grand orange bridge. How marvelous! On the other side of the bridge, old fashioned housing done in red and black with secretive notes of goldenrod and saffron here and there.

He explored the less alien setting, following the hidden colors, until he came to a torii in them. This shrine is dedicated to the memory of the air nomads destroyed by Fire Lord Sozin, and all the ones who escaped his genocide. It was built by Fire Prince Iroh who's family alone of all the ruling house of the Fire Nation took steps to atone for this horror, it read.

He, or his ancestors, had survived a genocide. Inoichi would not further disturb these grounds.

At one end of the Fire Nation half was a palatial dwelling, but one that was half destroyed. Three men sat on the throne of the ruined half, clearly all kin, wearing robes of red, black, and gold. Inoichi felt as though he were in the presence of Danzō, the Salamander, and Orochimaru. There was a cold, greasy sense of vileness from the youngest man. There was a child, dressed in red, black, and gold, kneeling before him, begging him for mercy. Inoichi understood that this child found none. A tornado ripped from the skies, a thin, wisp of a thing, sending the vile man spinning away one direction, and gently lifting the boy, and carrying him away, across the bay.

He followed the boy across, finding him in a small, warm house filled with warmth and light. There were children's toys scattered here and there, a pair of altars, one to the memory of the Air Nomads and a young woman that looked vaguely Hyuuga, a bookcase filled with legal tomes, plays, and other works of fiction, and a large terebi in front of a couch. The three children were very happy together, the badly burned boy played with another teen, a loud boy with a terrific set of lungs. A little girl practiced her magic. It was clear that all these children were very loved. Inoichi was satisfied.

Back outside of Phoenix's mindscape, Inoichi looked at Sarutobi, and nodded with a smile. "I like him. It's clear he loves his children very much."

"One pass. Now, assemble your fighters and prepare for the morrow."

Phoenix bowed Fire Nation style, having observed Inoichi and Neko bow in much the same way. "I'll be ready." He nodded.

"I expect you to be. Be here at 9 AM tomorrow."

Chapter Text

The next day, Phoenix was there in a red and black breastplate, and a tan colored steel cap, but with unencumbered limbs in air nomad colors, and a great staff with what appeared to be a blue sail attached with a white lotus emblem on it. Beside him was a grey bearded elderly man with his hair in a top knot, wearing red, black and gold plate. With them was a sixteen year old girl with black hair and lavender robes.

"Hokage-sama, these are Iroh, the Godfather of my children, my mentor in combat arts, and Maya, who is a newer friend that I am nonetheless very close to. They're my team of fighters."

"Excellent," said the Hokage. "Report to training ground 7."

When they got there, Neko was waiting, bouncing two balls in the palm of his hand. "You have 'till noon to acquire a bell. The one left over will be the hokage's guest for a year while we try to extract all facts about your techniques, your physiology, and your motivations from you. If you all fail, none of you will have access to Naruto."

Phoenix heard the underlying message: if one succeeds, he will allow us to raise Naruto.

Maya gulped at Neko's threats of torture and imprisonment. The weak link, the Anbu thought.

Iroh understood bone deep that Neko loved Naruto, but was unable to care for him. He had to sympathize with the young man.

"You must come at me with intent to kill. Not that I expect you to do that. Little girls like you should have been left at home. Just think," he said, turning to Phoenix. "You're going to be the reason she's lost here, away from home, under the tender mercies of my fellow assassins. And you," he said turning to the last one. "I have no doubt you'll be able to impress me enough to take away my charge. However, you'll lose your son, the young lady, and your traumatized youngest son will lose one of the father figures in his life who doesn't hate him enough to burn his face. You don't want that. Leave. Go home. Let things stay as they are. I can take good care of Naruto and Harry."

"Why haven't you fixed the holes in his walls, you little snoop?" Phoenix demanded. "Come on!" He demanded, using Apollo's chords of steel. "We're ready for you, and all that speech did was get me all fired up to defeat you!"

"Alright. Go."

Immediately, Maya used something like the ram seal, and her body changed. This was not a transformation. Neko processed this speedily. He had to, because the old man was breathing fire at him, and Phoenix was darting around him like his teacher used to, and grab! He got Phoenix's hand and used replacement! He didn't have the attorney's hand long. Phoenix's wind technique blew him almost all the way down, and if he hadn't anchored his feet using chakra, he would have been blown away!

He felt a grab at his waist as he replaced away. They had gotten the bells, but would they be able to keep them? He made a plan. He'd test the youngest one's mettle with a genjutsu. After all, she was the one with the bells.

He used the hand signs. "Hell viewing illusion!"

Mia felt the energy infiltrating her body, and her mind being ripped back to that fateful night. Instead of her, it was Maya! Her heart broke, but then she realized, this is fake! Instantly, her eyes saw the truth, but it was too late to save the bells. Neko had vanished towards the water. Walking on it? How odd. Well, it wasn't like she couldn't follow him.

Neko watched Phoenix as he and the woman that Maya had transformed into soared over the water to him. We'll see how they like this, he thought to himself as he raised a finger to the heavens. Immediately, Iroh came soaring over, fire coming from his feet, shaking his head at Neko. Neko disregarded. Lightning darted towards Phoenix, and Iroh intercepted it. Up one arm, through the belly, not the heart, out the other. Straight at Neko.

Neko sped out of the way, but wasn't quite fast enough. He couldn't deal with a messed up shoulder, so started to heal himself. The old man liked fire, did he? Katon! Ryuuka no Jutsu!

Iroh did something subtle after dodging the excellent, well bent fire technique. He started to gently spew a stream of black smoke in Neko's direction. Neko released a small gust of wind in response, but Iroh continued to reform the cloud of black smoke around him.

Phoenix sent a gentle push of wind down into the orb of smoke. He used an updraft to grab for the jingle jangle.

Neko had used suiton to soak his mask, and put it on over his nose and mouth.

It was a well balanced fight. Neko, being Anbu, could not use his signature jutsu, but was still very, very good. Phoenix and Mia had been trained by the Dragon of the West, and didn't feel the need to hide their skills. At the end of it, however, Mia could no longer stay, and Maya was exhausted. Neko took her, tied her to a log, and held a kunai to her side.

"One wrong move, and she dies. Now. The rest of you shall be allowed to raise Naruto and Harry. Which of you will be in our company for a year?"

"I-I-I will," said Maya, bravely. "I-I'm the youngest, so I have the fewest secrets."

"No, Mayilla, I need you to look after the younger kids. Besides, I knew that when I signed up to be a parent, it would cause me pain. I'll stay."

"The two of you are my responsibility, and you are as good as my son, Phoenix. Besides, I am old and I know suffering. Let me take your place."

Neko tossed Maya a bell. "You pass. Please look after Naruto and give him all the love I can't."

"I will," Phoenix promised. "You know, you can…"

"No… I can't. An Anbu must never reveal their identity, and I won't be allowed to have a role in his life without this mask on until he becomes a ninja or turns 16."
— —

"Well, that was sad," said Maya, looking down for a few seconds before perking up. "Let's go meet your new kids!"

"I hope I'm doing the right thing," Phoenix said, sweating.

"What conditions did you say their apartment was in again?" Iroh asked.

"Shabby. Run down. I won't have them live like that."

"I see," said Iroh with a smile.
— —

One night before, when Phoenix's adoption was still up in the air, four minors hustled through the portal, into the courthouse. Zuko took the lead and Apollo followed. On the way out, they met a man with silver hair, closing his phone.

"What are you children doing here," the Demon Prosecutor asked, looking very downcast.

"I'm minding the children while we wait for our guardian. He had some business here," said Zuko, bristling at Edgeworth, folding his arms across his chest.

"Aren't you fifteen, and therefore little more than a child yourself?"

"You were prosecuting at 19, and your little sister even younger." Zuko's lip curled.

"Why you gotta act towards Mr. Edgeworth like that?" Asked the large, green detective.

"He tried to murder our Aunt for something she didn't do," said Apollo. "He tried to shoot down our attempts to save her until he could do so no longer. I'm just glad it wasn't a Khura'inese court, I would have lost my mother and aunt probably less than a day apart!"

"It wouldn't have… I wasn't…" Edgeworth covered his mouth, still most of the way to shutting down.

"When Gha'ran Sigatar Khura'in swings the gavel, she also swings the Axe!"

"I stood before an unjust accuser like you. He burned my face!"

Edgeworth's stomach twisted. He turned away, unable to look them in the face.

"You've probably sent so many innocent people to the gallows with your twisted ways of prosecuting a case! Telling people to hide evidence, not tell the full truth! I bet you never found a single actually guilty culprit ever!" Apollo unloaded.

"Now hold on just a second–!" the green cop exploded.

"Gumshoe. Don't." said Edgeworth forcefully, shaking a bit..

"Mr. Edgeworth! We can't just…"

"Quite right. Children, may I give you a bit of restitution? It won't be enough, but you can yell at me some more, if it pleases you. After dinner, Gumshoe and I will escort you home."

"Just as long as you know it won't go well for you if something tries to make us disappear," Zuko exhaled smoke.

"Understood," said Edgeworth, nodding, his face still deeply shadowed.

Minutes later, the children, Edgeworth, and Gumshoe were all seated in a private dining area in the Gatewater hotel. Harry was seated by Apollo and Naruto by Zuko as the elders attempted to install polite, high society manners in the younger children.

Edgeworth's mind drifted as they waited for the food to come. I am so tired. Between Von Karma and the children, I really cannot take much more of this.

He visualized Yanni Yogi and Robert Hammond and growled inside. He visualized his father in Hammond's place, defending a possible murderer.

He threw away the image of Hammond. Not all defense attorneys are the same. Some are scrupulous. He visualized Phoenix Wright.

"How are your lives, children?"

"Phoenix is a lot better than my biological father," said Zuko, touching his scar. "But given that Ozai's basically Hitler except horrible to his children, that's a low bar. Phoenix is a really, really good dad slash older brother."

The door burst open.

"Edgeworth!" Snapped an evil sounding voice. "All the years I spent pouring into you, raising you, treating you like my own son, wasted!"

"You lost a case, and not just any case! A trial against a rookie attorney, with one case under his belt! Look at you, cowering there like a fool. If your older sister were here, she'd beat you until you bled!"

"Objection!" Two boys roared in unison. "Everyone who isn't literal royalty in the room can shut their face!" Zuko proclaimed. "That clear? Good. I was raised by a man like you for thirteen years of my life, and he, with all of his brains, power, and cruelty did not break me. I am a crown prince because of his maneuvering. He could have given me the whole world, and it wouldn't have made up the slightest bit for the pain he inflicted on me. I owe him nothing! Not a scrap of my loyalty, and neither does he to you!" He pointed to Edgeworth. "You haven't destroyed his conscience yet, and there's still time for him to change his ways."

"You're right," said Edgeworth, standing behind Zuko. "Prosecutor Von Karma, I reserved this room for six, not seven. I believe that means you'll need to leave."

Dick Gumshoe stood behind him, arms folded intimidatingly.

"You haven't seen the last of me, Edgeworth," said Von Karma, shaking with rage.
— —

"What's this food?" Naruto asked. "It's really good!"

"That is called Pasta Primavera. You requested a noodle dish, and this is a noodle dish fit for a prince– or his paramour," explained Edgeworth.

"Wish they had chili paste," said Zuko, enjoying his fries and steak, pulling a fry through the drippings.

"What is it with you and spicy food?" Apollo asked.

"I was raised among a lot of spice maniacs?" Zuko asked. "It's the way we are in the, uhh…"

"It's okay. If you are from, shall we say, elsewhere, I understand. My foster father's family is from the Fire Nation."

"Coincidentally, so am I."

"I'm just from Khura'in," said Apollo. "I was born in the states, but if the first dad I can remember ever ousts Queen Gha'ran, I expect I'll be naturalized with dual citizenship, and possibly even made royalty my own self."

"I've heard the Gha'ran regime is quite awful," commented Edgeworth.

"It is. Nearly all of my childhood was spent on the run, in hiding, because, well, you've probably heard of my first foster dad."

"Dhurke Sahdmadhi, was it?

"Yeah."

"I'm from Leaf Village in the Land of Fire, and Harry's from there too, except he used to be from Little Whinging, Surrey, England."

"We wished each other together because we're really similar. Our… almost everybody hated us. That's why we wished for ourselves and Phoenix!"

"You wished for a kindly guardian and got Phoenix Wright?"

"Yeah, or just more family that will love us."

"He still has this thing where he finds unwanted people." Edgeworth smiled wryly.

"Yup."

Harry climbed into Edgeworth's lap. Edgeworth made a surprised noise as Harry hugged him.

"My guardians were awful too. They said I was useless, stupid, a moocher, and freakish. They also made me extremely scared of m-m-m… I can't say it. I will. Maaag… ick. Magic. The word. Every time we heard it, they… they hit me. A lot."

Edgeworth returned Harry's hug, stroking his arm a bit. "For me the word was "imperfection." Every time I answered a question incorrectly, I, too, was punished."

"People like us were put in existence to spite those who hurt us," said Zuko. "If my cousin and uncle ever find the Avatar, I'll join him, not capture him! My honor is intact, no matter what my biological father says."

"Indeed it is. Has no one ever prosecuted your guardians for what they did to you?"

"Good luck," said Zuko. "He's an absolute monarch in another dimension."

"Indeed," said Edgeworth. "It seems like everyone in Los Angeles and the surrounding area is related to the Air Nomads or Fire Nationals who chased them. Harry?"

"Harry could be from anywhere," Zuko commented.

"Anywhere or anywhen. What year is it?" Harry asked.

"2016," answered Gumshoe, who was pleased to not be out of his depth at something.

"Whoa! I went… 28 years in the future!"

"I suppose that answers that," said Edgeworth. "You are from 1988."

"I went from 1986 Surrey to the Land of Fire, to Year 65 After the Founding of Konoha, to 67 AFK in the normal way, to 2016, umm…, Los Angeles?"

"Indeed. Most of the way around the world, to say nothing of your jump in time."

"Technically, wouldn't they be illegal immigrants?" asked Gumshoe.

"They didn't cross a recognized border sans paperwork," said Edgeworth. "Besides, we are going to go fill out legal paperwork for them immediately after dropping them off at Phoenix's, right, Gumshoe?"

"Yes, sir."
— —

Itachi hopped out of bed, feeling rather neutral today. He looked into his mirror, and said, "Uzume!"

A small smile graced his features.

There was a loud banging at the door. "Are ya ready ta go, lad?"

A swift "Henge," and he was all set. Who needed to get dressed when you could use genjutsu?

"Ready, Hagrid-san," he called back.

Diagon Alley today. He was mildly interested, even. They took the floo. Itachi used chakra to restrain his breath– he wanted to sneeze!– and called out the name. The magic took root in his stomach, and wanted to fling him through the diagon alley exit, but he rode the magic out, flipping diagonally, then righting himself in midair, landing on his feet.

"Fascinating," said Itachi.

"A new Hogwarts student? Seems like he could be for either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw," said Tom.

"Perfesser Dumbledore thinks he could be anything 'e wants to be," said Hagrid with a grin. "Fawkes certainly loves him, and that's good enough for me."
—

"Awright, 'Tachi, we're going to Gringotts bank first. Can't do any shopping without money, after all. Gringotts is run by Trollene. You'd have to be really really unhappy or not knowing to betray one of them, break any sort of deal or agreement with them, or just be dishonest with them in any sort of way. They will take you out of this world real fast."

Two exceedingly large, muscular green-complexioned blondes with faces that looked as though they'd been carved from granite guarded the gates of Gringotts.

"Indeed, only the most ignoble of evildoers would ever attempt to harm us," said one, flexing his muscle so that it jiggled. "We, alone of all the magicals, face the Deepest Dark, the Unholy things that are not living and still move and think, and dream of ruin."

"I thought Dumbledore slew plenty of Inferiuses, himself," commented Hagrid.

"Ja. As such, he has been adopted into the Klanen av Formalet for killing Undead. Dumbledore is our kin."

"Guess that makes sense." Said Hagrid.

Itachi bowed respectfully to the Trollene as they passed through.

"We need to take money from the school's account for Itachi here's schooling."

"Actually, I was wondering if you could convert some money I brought with me," said Itachi to the rather more human sized troll working the desk.

He grabbed a scroll and unsealed his ryo, withdrawn completely from the Konoha bank only a few short days ago.

"You inherited this wealth. Or else it is blood money," said the troll, baring his teeth. "Which is it."

"I… I worked for my government. Just last week, I assassinated a member of the daimyo's court with a thing for little girls. It was simple work," he said, turning himself to a smaller, more feminine version of himself. "Or it would have been, if not for the two traitor ninjas with similar predilections."

"Can you swear to us after drinking this potion that all your kills that you have been paid for have been so honorable?"

Itachi swigged the potion down. "To the best of my knowledge, I swear it."

The troll grunted, took out a scale, and began to weigh the ryo. Most appeared to have no weight; these scales were magical. Some ryo turned red, and these were removed. The vast majority were weightless by the scale's standards, and these were accepted by the teller.

"I cannot, wouldn't take your clearly unwitting evil blood money. That's how ya get necromancers who make Draugren. You don't want to face a Draugr, not without several Alene like myself backing you up." He grinned. "Here's the rest of it. Lots of Galleons for the little soldier boy who's superiors need to have their arms removed. If you ever need help getting out of that life, come to Gringotts, and ask for Hans of House Evilbane."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," said Itachi, bowing again before resealing the blood money, and grabbing his bag of Wizard money.

"What are you going to do with the blood money?" Alene Hans asked.

"Return it to the man who gave it to me, I guess," said Itachi.

"There is one way to ensure that evil doesn't come of those seeds," Alene Hans said. "I wish you would let me destroy them."

"I can destroy them for you, if you're okay with that," said Itachi.

"That might be wise. Come, I will say the spells over the evil blood money, and you shall destroy them after the dead are pacified. Please, Sir Hagrid, remain in the lobby while the youngling and I purify the money from innocent blood."

Itachi's face fell as he considered what of his wages might be considered unholy by the troll wizard. My Root mission that wasn't… is the most likely. Danzo is untrustworthy, he thought, mind filled with revulsion as he remembered the vilest of the Konoha elders.

"Do you know how you obtained the lucre?" Asked the Alene.

"I suspect. My village has certain values, and I trust most of my former superiors to be moral people. Most of them."

"Who is the other? What is it's vaner?"

"Shimura Danzo. He murdered my best friend, preventing us from ending our family's evil plans peacefully, and held my little brother over my head, and forced me to end the plot in the worst way." He shuddered, twisting his upper body in grief.

"A wicked person, to be certain. How do you feel about the harms he has caused through you?"

"I wish I had never trusted him!"

"Excellent. Here we are."

They went into room with a certain design on the floor. The red ryo were levitated by the alene a certain distance above the floor until they were in the center of the design. Itachi could see that as he released his control of them, they gravely descended to the floor. He could not call it a float, but there was still a magical force at play, slowing the coins' descent. No wonder the Alene was so careful!

"Speak, coins, what ill has your master wrought for you?"

In it, a green headed young man with a Takigakure symbol on his hitai ate spoke up. "Shimura Danzo told him I was harming my child. In truth, he simply wanted my Jinchuuriki daughter to grow up an orphan, to make her weak."

"What recompense would you have him do?"

"Please look after Fū-chan. Protect her if you can, for I cannot."

"I swear. Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" There was a crow. "Keep an eye on Nakamura Fū for me please! Comfort her if she wants it. Rescue her if need be. If a foe is beyond you, summon me to her place."

"Thank you," the shade said, before fading.

"Cast your spell of destruction, and be pure, child!"

His eyes spun into their mangekyou form. "Amaterasu!"

He felt the guilt of innocent blood lift from his shoulders.
— —

The second Itachi stepped into the Wand shop, he felt the presumable shopkeeper hiding in a corner, waiting to surprise them.

"I would advise you not to do that, sir," Itachi informed him, looking straight ahead.

Ollivander jumped. Itachi smiled ever so slightly.

"It's rare that someone turns my own trick against me," he says with a grin, offering Itachi his hand.

"You're good at hiding, for a civilian," Itachi said.

"A civilian? Do you mean to say that you aren't one?" Ollivander asked gravely.

"No, sir. I'm a ninja. I've been one for years."

"No unicorn hairs for you, I suppose, my lad. Which hand is dominant?"

"Neither, but I was right-handed," Itachi says.

The magical fitting ruler flitted hither and yon, taking Itachi's measurements.

"Try this! Oak and Dragon Heartstring, 12 inches, steady! Go on, swish it!"

Itachi swung the wand as he would a kunai, and a smoky, black dragon came out, exploded, and left soot on everything.

"An okay wand, but not the best for you, perhaps. Try this one, Ash and Phoenix feather, 8 inches."

A bright, red flaming dragon came out, then exploded into sparks. Itachi used a suiton jutsu to clear out the minor ingnitions.

"Almost, almost! Try this one: 8 inches of Spruce for healing, and a four inch Ash handle for sacrifice. Phoenix feather for fire, healing, and your new beginning at Hogwarts."

Instantly, a wave of golden light came from Itachi and his wand. He felt effects like he did from Uzume. His mind brightened at the effects of the illusory magic.

"This is it." He said, his trademark near invisible smile on his face.

"Indeed it is! 8 galleons, please!" Ollivander beamed.
— —

A little blonde boy was waiting on a bench as Itachi went to get his school robes. Feeling a pang of missing his young charge, and wanting to wait until Hagrid came back from getting his stomach settled, Itachi sat next to him.

"Mudblood," the little boy said.

"No. Magic went back several generations in my house."

"Foreigner?"

"Yes."

"I hate people like you! You don't know anything about anything, and you expect a welcome from those of us who have been here for generations! Entitled, just like the other side's house elves!"

"Tsukuyomi."

Draco felt his world fall away as he saw a little boy learning to hate war, breathe fire, use the clone jutsu and transformation jutsu, gaining his hitai ate– he could feel the pride, he was legally an adult, a protector of the village!– his first missions, the fear that activated his sharingan, the world was slower now, and so was his body! The invitation to Anbu, murdering grown men as a little boy, one of them innocent! Shisui. Shisui and he plotting to stop the coup, Shisui being murdered, and the threat against Sasuke by Danzo. Itachi closed the technique with a sense of resignation and grief that made their stomachs flip flop.

"Oh– I didn't know!" The eight year old's brain was melting, so he just froze a minute. "You met Harry Potter!"

"I suppose I did."

"You taught him a jutsu– one of your spells!"

"If I want to keep my charge alive, I might teach him to defend himself, ne?"

Draco threw his arms around Itachi. "Please teach me! I won't be mean, or, or treacherous, or support warmongers! Please!"

Itachi laid his hand on Draco's head. "It won't be easy."

"I know! But I'll do it! I'll be a good shinobi, I promise!"

"Alright. You just lived a large percentage of my life. Henge into Harry Potter."

Draco used the Ram seal. "Henge!" Instantly, he was a small, black headed boy with a scar on his forehead and green eyes.

"Good. Now, do you remember how it feels to use chakra to enhance your body?"

"Yes!"

"Tree climbing?"

"Yeah?"

"Last one to the end of that corner or first one to touch the pavement is a rotten egg!"
— —

Finally, the day came. Itachi stood before platform 9 ¾. He squared his shoulders, and marched up through the barrier.

He saw so many wizards, not really paying attention, not alert, not ready. It was so confusing. Don't they realize that anything could happen?

He saw a little girl struggling with her luggage.

"Excuse me, young miss, can I help you?" He asked with a smile.

"Yes, please! Are you a sixth year?"

"No, I'm actually a third year, though this will be my first year at Hogwarts." Itachi picked up the bag and hoisted it over his shoulder, sticking it with chakra and letting his hand fall off it.

"I'm Penelope Clearwater, and it's my first year, too! Except, I'm actually a first year. Where are you from? Hey! Is that a spell? Can I learn it?"

"I am Itachi Uchiha, of the Leaf Village in the Land of Fire. How about we get on the train, and then I'll start teaching you how to stick things to yourself, and yourself to other things."

Meanwhile, Percy Weasley had heard these statements, and followed slowly behind. New spells! They must not know students weren't allowed to do magic before reaching Hogwarts. He should tell them.

"You can just walk up here with us," Itachi said, looking behind them, and smiling softly.

"Umm," Percy said with a gulp. "Did you know it's illegal for minors to do magic outside Hogwarts?"

"Well, kind of, but a regular person could learn to do this, I think. A small handful of the ninjas in my village are still just regular ninjas with only physical or mental energies at their call, and that's usually one of the very first things we teach, aside from target practice, basic martial arts, transformation, and illusory clones."

"It's not magic?" Percy asked, dumbfounded.

"No, it's chakra, the mix of physical and mental energies."

"Well, I guess you can learn. That's me corrected." Percy said ruefully.

"I almost forgot. Are either of you a… supremacist, of any sort?"

"Oh, no. My family's been light side for generations!" Percy exclaimed.

"My family's been regular for generations. I'm a newblood. Be kind of stupid for me to be racist or, or, bloodist or whatever it's called."

Percy grinned broadly. He really liked her attitude.

Eventually, they came to a door. There was nothing to recommend this door to them. It was not special or remarkable in any way. No, what was fascinating was the voices coming from behind the door.

"I wouldn't pick you to be a part of my quidditch team," came an older voice. "In fact, I'd threaten the other team captains to make sure you were picked last, or better yet, never! As for going pro?"

"That's Marcus Flint, he's a Slytherin, and he's awful!" Whispered Percy as Flint shouted at whoever it was.

Itachi yanked the door open. "Who do you think you are, talking to someone like that?"

"Foreigner!" Marcus shouted. "It isn't any of your business! Now, get lost, or else I'll practice my pain spells on you."

"Think I'll stay awhile," said Itachi, sitting down on a bench. Percy and Penelope both sat down, hugging him with their bodies, almost in his lap.

"Aww, an ickle firsty? What's your family name?"

"Clearwater," she announced with a defiant sort of fear.

"Then you'll never amount to–"

Flint saw Itachi sprout a large, red demon head. "You shouldn't speak to the students of an assassin like that."

Percy, Penelope, and the other kid saw something else: Itachi simply picked up Marcus, carried him outside, then gave him the old heave ho.

"You saw nothing, right? I just escorted him outside for a friendly chat?"

"Right!" Said Penelope.

"Umm…" said Percy. "Alright. I won't tell."

"I definitely didn't! I'm Oliver Wood," said the boy, sticking out his hand to Itachi. "I'm going to join the Gryffindor quidditch team this year!"

"Flying is very nice. I might try out for my house team as well," said Itachi.

"Umm, please teach us more about chakra," said Penelope.

"Yes, please," said Percy.

"Chakra?" Asked Oliver.

"Yes, a combination of mental and physical energy that can be used to do lots of things," said Itachi, handing Percy and Penelope a pair of leaves, before turning to Oliver. "Would you like to learn how to use chakra as well?"

"Sure!" Said Oliver, accepting a leaf.

The world fell away from the preteens as they lived one of Itachi's memories. Itachi was very small, watching his mother cook. She scooped rice from the jug with her bare hand, using chakra to hold every individual grain of rice, and control it's fall into the rice cooker. Itachi had run outside, grabbed a handful of sand, and said, "Look, Okaa-san, I can too!" Before slowly dumping the sand on the floor.

"Your goal today, is to hold the leaf to various parts of your hand and face. For an extra bit of challenge, see if you can get it to stick to any part of your foot."

Oliver immediately took his shoe off and tried sticking the leaf to his foot. It immediately shredded.

"Oops! A little too much chakra there. Try lessening it." Itachi said, giving him another leaf.

Not to be outdone, Percy's shoe was off, and the leaf was on his bottom toe. It stuck! Penelope's was also sticking.

"You can do it," Itachi said, smiling at Oliver. "Now, the rest of you are going to be quite upset with me."

"No, we won't be," said Penelope.

"Very well, then, try this," Itachi said, sticking his feet to a wall, leaving himself no other support.

Percy and Penelope did that. Immediately, their lower torsos called a general strike and started protesting loudly.

"It helps if you give the stomach muscles the chakra they deserve. Like so!"
— —

Penelope leaned tiredly against Itachi as he rowed them to Hogwarts.

"Why isn't she helping?" Asked Derrick.

"Because she started learning how to be a ninja today! That is exceptionally difficult. Rest assured, she has earned the rest!" Itachi said proudly.

"Is ninja your culture's term for wizard?" Asked Bole.

"No indeed. Anyone can learn to be a Shinobi," said Itachi. "I'm pretty sure the strongest, most capable man in the leaf only became magical within the past two decades."

"And you?" Said Derrick, rather coldly. "When did you get magic?"

"My clan has been magical for generations," said Itachi.

"Oh," he answered.

"Also, if you haven't noticed it, I am also a foreigner, and she is a Newblood."

"Why did the muggleborns have to go and invent new words for themselves?"

"Yeah, muggleborn's a perfectly fine word."

"Because I don't like it, and I don't want it," Penelope said.

"Okay, sorry," said Derrick, as they arrived at the castle.

"Good evening, children, welcome to Hogwarts. I am the deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall," said a severe looking witch robed in green. "We are about to proceed to the Great Hall, where you will be sorted into one of four Hogwarts houses. The houses will be like your family here at Hogwarts. Good, intelligent choices will win your house points, worse choices will help you lose house points. Do you understand?"

There was a general noise of assent.

"Come along, then," said McGonagall.

They followed her in.

When they reached the hall, they looked up to see stars, the very same ones they'd seen outside, yet much closer. What a fascinating illusory technique, Itachi thought.

His eyes fell to the front of the room. There was a stool and a battered old hat. Then, the hat opened it's mouth and began to sing.

"Good evening, good evening, dear students, to you all,
It is now my time into four houses to divide you all.

The Gryffindor defends his nest,
They love their friends, they are the best,
Into danger they will fly, to smite at foes a passing by

The Ravenclaw, it lusts for lore,
It cries for knowledge, more more more!
For specialist facts, they have no need,
But still, for fun, on them, they feed.

The Hufflepuff, like Gryffindor,
The Lion who hides beneath layers of fur,
They may seem weak, that much is true,
But hurt their friends– that day you'll rue!

The Slytherin is like Ravenclaw.
They'll take knowledge, gold, and all,
Anything to help them win,
A house of dreamers, to the end.

So put me on, and then you'll be done,
I hope you've learned all houses are one."

The students began to be called. Bole went to Slytherin, he noted. Penelope Clearwater was the next student to be called that he knew. It took a long moment, but the hat eventually opened its mouth and cried, "Gryffindor!" Itachi applauded with the lions. Percy stood up, and yelled, "Team Itachi for Gryffindor!" He would have to teach them about subtlety, he guessed.

Derrick came next of the first years Itachi had met, and he was perplexed. Did he want to be a dreamer or a knower? He didn't know.

Itachi was the very last to be sorted. Ah! A challenge! The hat thought excitedly.

Put me with my students in Gryffindor, please, thought Itachi.

You could just infiltrate the tower. It would be nothing for someone of your capabilities.

Correct. Where will I do the most good?

I don't know. You are cunning as a serpent, loyal as a Puff, intelligent as any Ravenclaw I've sorted, and not just forced to be courageous, but someone who excels at it. The snakes need a good influence, but again, you could infiltrate them. As far as what would serve you the best, I don't know. Would you like Gryffindor or Hufflepuff?

I still want to be with my pupils, Itachi thought.

"Very well. Better be… GRYFFINDOR!"

"TEAM ITACHI FOR GRYFFINDOR! TEAM ITACHI FOR GRYFFINDOR!"
— —

Phoenix flew back through the gate to his world and time. Finding Iroh had taken some work yesterday, and he hadn't had time to go home. Luckily, Maya had been as easy as her favorite fast food stand. Was Zuko really responsible enough to mind three under 10 year olds? Yeah. He is. They'll be fine.

He came back to his home to find quite the odd cuddle puddle on his couch. Zuko was wide awake, as usual, frying eggs in the cast iron skillet. Miles Edgeworth was there, and he had his two newest kids wrapped in his arms. Apollo had taken the rocking chair. On the table, there was mostly filled out legal paperwork for Naruto and Harry.

Phoenix did not know how to feel about this. On the one hand, he went into law to get his best friend back. On the other, why was Edgeworth here now? With his kids? Also, they were not on friendly terms at present. This situation made him less happy the longer he thought about it. He tightened his hold on Trucy.

Maya came in. "Edgeworth!"

Edgeworth awoke, mostly alert.

"Miss Fey." He said ruefully. "Greetings."

"What are you doing here with my kids?"

"I felt like I owed them, and you, something. I fed them, started their paperwork to get them identities and legally placed with you, heard them when they gave me a well deserved castigation, and appreciated them when they defended me."

"What?"

"He compared me to Gha'ran Sigatar Khura'in, and told me I'd almost killed Miss Fey with my false accusation." He nodded to Apollo. "That one drew lines between me and his biological father." He nodded to Zuko. "Both of them, however, defended me when my former fosterer came. Harry and Zuko rather understandably comprehend unkind caregivers. I can't say that I deserved their kindness, though," he finished.

"Hey, Mr. Edgeworth, I got those tickets you sent me for! I also gotcher old man, Mr. Wright!" Said Gumshoe as he came in with Iroh.

"I hope you didn't forget me, Phoenix," said Iroh with a chuckle.

"Never!" Phoenix said, hugging Iroh with the arm not currently occupied with six year old.

Apollo wiped his eyes. "Hey."

"What happened last night?"

"Zuko and I were taking the younger kids home. Mr. Edgeworth had a problem with us going unsupervised, so he took us out and fed us. While we were out, we discovered that he had been mistreated growing up as well. Most of us kinda forgave him. Naruto said he couldn't be all bad, as he fed him the Italian ramen. Gumshoe grabbed those papers after we ate, and then we all came home, and watched Steel Samurai. He went out this morning for tickets to the place where it's filmed."

"I hope you're aware how profoundly weird this is," Phoenix told Edgeworth as Naruto and Harry stretched awake.

"Yes it is. Phoenix, I must tender my apologies. Due to my training by the legendary Prosecutor, Manfred Von Karma, I sought you and Miss Fey's conviction in a murder trial. That was a threat to your life. You'd be well within your rights to throw me out and never speak to me again."

"Miles, I became a lawyer among other reasons, for this moment." Phoenix almost beamed.

"I saw the article about you being a demon Prosecutor, and I was like, he's changed, and he won't answer my letters." Miles gaped for a moment, then closed his mouth. "I know! I'll become a lawyer! I'll make him talk to me. And here you are."

"I feel like Von Karma intercepted your letters, Phoenix. I never saw them."

"Von Karma used to hurt him for getting questions wrong," said Harry. "Like m-m-me and m-m-m-magic."

"Von Karma's not so bad. I ripped that guy a new one," said Zuko as he tossed some mushrooms in his frying pan.

"He's incredibly vengeful. I would take multiple witnesses with you wherever you go until he dies or loses power."

"Seriously?"

"Forged evidence is nothing to him. Neither is blackmailing and silencing witnesses. He will do anything to get his guilty verdict."

"No wonder you were terrified of him. I kinda wanna take a vacation at sea, with my uncle now. In a different world."

"I be very glad to host you, my nephew."

"If Von Karma comes for me, I'll reveal as much as I can, and disappear if necessary."