Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

a new school. this practically meant a new life for mark. he just moved to south korea from canada— two pretty different places.

mark's pretty good at korean, so the language won't be much of a problem, besides all the slang he'll be clueless about.

making friends is more of marks concern. he's going to be the new foreign kid. obviously, there are other foreign kids at the school, just since mark's new it's different.

the student that's supposed to be showing mark around the school is johnny, which sounds pretty foreign— but hey! who knows! maybe his parents gave him an english name for fun.

mark bites his nails as he looks around the campus from his mom's car. it's huge. it's much bigger then his old school back in canada. which was just a basic high school.

this is university. which actually might explain why it's so huge, it's a high school and college.

at the front of the property was a sign with "SM University For The Arts" plastered on it in thick letters. past that was the building— well, buildings.

it was very clean. pure white and gray walls with tall glass windows that have a slight blue tint.

"are you just going to sit there? go!" mark's mom laughed, shooing him out of the car.

he smiled, still nervous. "bye mom, love you," he said, leaving a small peck on the women's cheek.

"have a nice day!" she yells as her son hops out the car.

as he walks towards the school he gets even more nervous. where the fuck even is the office? mark just prays it will be close to the school's entrance.

a cool breeze flows into his face when he walks threw the doors of the school. so far he hasn't seen anyone, class has already started. the school told him to come a little late so he wouldn't get lost with all the other students.

luckily, as mark's looking around he sees a door with "OFFICE" above it.

sighing in relief, he walks into the room, immediately being greeted by a student. he was quite tall and had the prettiest smile.

"hi! i'm lucas! i know johnny was supposed to show you around but he didn't show up today." the boy spoke in english, mark nodded, not really knowing what to say.

they talked for a minute before lucas showed mark the school. within that minute he found out that despite the fact that lucas looks older, they're in the same grade.

lucas seemed pretty nice. mark actually enjoyed spending time with him, so the tour of the school wasn't that bad.

︾

mark's day so far hasn't been that bad. since school actually started two weeks ago in a few classes he already has extra work to do. but that's not really what he's worried about.

one kid, so far only in one of mark's classes, stands out for some reason. maybe it's because of his silver hair or painted nails. there's just something about him.

he doesn't speak. well, with what mark has seen, he doesn't. the boy sits with his head down and stays that way. not letting anything interrupt his thoughts. mark thinks he saw the boy drawing in a notebook but he isn't sure.

if mark didn't know any better, he'd say the boy just doesn't like socializing, but he does know better. he sees the clear sadness that's constantly covering the boy's face. the ends of his mouth never curling up into a slight smile. his eyes making a gloomy aura radiate off of him.

mark doesn't know the kids name. he hasn't heard anyone say it and for some reason he doesn't think that he'll get an answer if he asks the sad boy.

funny. he doesn't even know the boys name but he can't get him off his mind. perhaps it's because the boy always looks sad and lonely.

well, mark can't actually say always. he's only know about the gloom boy for a few hours.

gloom boy. it's what mark's calling the melancholy kid. he doesn't know the kid's real name and thinks the nickname fits pretty well.

︾

at lunch mark was introduced to lucas' friends.

"okay guys this his mark, mark this is jaehyun, hendery, yuta, xiaojun, and yangyang."

mark awkwardly waved at the new people, not knowing what to say.

"johnny will most likely be here tomorrow, i think you'll get along with him pretty well." lucas said, noticing how mark was getting slightly uncomfortable.

throughout lunch lucas was saying things about his friends to mark. jaehyun and yuta are both in college, and hendery, xiaojun, and yangyang are in the same grade as him and lucas.

"jaehyun is basically perfect besides the fact that he's a dumbass. it's actually shocking how good of grades he gets." lucas continued spilling information about his friends to mark, now he was on Jaehyun.

"too bad he likes dick." mark choked on his milk. yuta had said that so casually that mark believes it, well it's probably true.

"you're gay?!" he didn't mean to say that out loud, it's just jaehyun looks really straight. he has large muscles and just appears like he would have all the girls wrapped around his finger.

"yeah, he's been trying to get with taeyong for the longest time but the boys stubborn." at this point jaehyun's face was almost as red as a tomato. he covered his face as his friends teased him.

"not gonna lie, it's kinda sad watching jaehyun chase after him."

"who's taeyong?" mark asked, mostly to lucas.

"one of johnny and yuta's friends that jaehyun has had a crush on for years. he has a class right now i'll show you how he is later." the boy responded quietly, he didn't exactly have a reason to speak loudly.

"what about you mark? gay? straight?" someone asked, mark remembers his name being hendery.

"o-oh i don't really know— i guess i'm bi." he awkwardly looked around the lunch room after answering, trying to find something to focus on that's not this conversation.

then mark's eyes landed on the gloom boy. there was a boy with platinum blonde hair standing by the table talking to him. mark thinks he's seen the blonde in one of his classes but isn't too sure. he keeps smiling at gloom boy, then walked away to a group of boys.

it looked like gloom boy didn't hate the blonde's company, which was a shock to mark. he always looked sad and angry, some people were even scared of him, but there he was talking to someone who looked like the complete opposite of him.

"i'm gonna go sit with renjun and his friends, bye guys," yangyang smiled, waving before walking over to the group the blonde boy went with. is the blonde boy renjun? mark thinks to himself, he didn't exactly look like that'd be his name.

"who's that?" mark asked after yangyang left, pointing over too gloom boy.

"the kid sitting alone? the one with the sliver hair?" mark nodded. "don't worry about him, trying to be friends with him won't work."

"he literally never smiles or talks to anyone besides jeno, no one really knows why— expect for jeno, obviously he knows."

"just don't talk to him."

mark can tell by their tone of voice that they don't like gloom boy much. that makes a pain form in his heart and suddenly mark is determined to become the boy's friend.

"why? he looks sad and lonely," mark didn't care about "looking cool" and "fitting in" with his new friends.

"he always does."

"it's really nothing new."

"c'mon guys, he's just emotional. probably depressed or something." lucas looked like he had more to say though he didn't continue speaking.

︾

mark's in his last period of the day. gloom boy is also in this class. it's an art class and gloom boy seems pretty invested into what he's drawing. the boy had full focus on the paper in front of him and the pencil in his hand.

meanwhile, mark was just sitting there not knowing what to do. the teacher didn't give them a subject or anything, just told them to make something that "represents their artistic abilities."

being the nosy person he is, mark wanted to see what gloom boy was drawing.

the boy was sitting in the back of the class, so it'd be obvious if mark just walked over there. then he noticed some paint brushes and paints on a table behind gloom boy. mark smiled to himself and confidently stood up.

he grabbed the art supplies and while walking back to his seat, taking a look at gloom boys paper during the process.

the boy had drawn a person falling and hands reaching up at him. there was also other small designs that mark couldn't make out. another thing mark saw was the initials "l.dh" on the corner of the paper.

"that's really good." mark unconsciously said. everyone had been telling him that the gloom boy is the one person he shouldn't talk too and here mark is, trying to talk to him.

the silver haired boy turned around, his gloomy eyes meeting with mark's glowing ones. mark had the biggest smile on his face and it didn't fade, even when the boy didn't say anything.

everyone was staring at mark as he sat down. shocked, no one ever speaks to the boy.

mark was smiling even more as he sat down. he doesn't know why he's so happy. he just thinks something good will come out of befriending gloom boy.

Chapter Text

donghyuck walked out of the school with the same dead look on his face as ever other day.

but today wasn't just like ever other day. someone actually talked to him. the new foreign kid— mark is his name.

haechan doesn't know why no one talks to him— that's a lie. he knows exactly why no one talks to him.

after freshman year he changed and only jeno knows why. he never invited anyone to his house anymore, never spoke to anyone. cut off all the friends he made his freshman year within a week.

he didn't mean for it too happen. over the summer his life just fell apart and he doesn't need everyone knowing his business. with all the shit that happened over summer, he took out his anger and sadness on his friends, causing them all to leave him. all but jeno, they've know each other their whole lives it'd be pretty hard to just stop talking.

so when the new kid spoke to haechan, and said something nice. haechan was shocked, it took so much to hide the happiness he felt.

"haechan!" he turned around to see his best friend running over. since they're still on school property, donghyuck fought the urge to smile, he unintentionally made a reputation for himself and doesn't want to mess it up.

"decided to walk with me today? thought you would have wanted to walk with your boyfriend and his friends," haechan teases, smirking at jeno. laughing slightly as he sees the boy's face become red.

"s-shut up he's not my boyfriend." jeno looks away from haechan.

"that's cause you're too scared to ask him out."

"stop~" jeno whines, "i'm going to ask him out just not yet."

"ok bottom."

"hey! i'm not a bottom! you are!" haechan laughed at how defensive his friend got and started walking faster so jeno couldn't slap him.

"that's switch erasure." the silver hair boy turned around and pouted at his friend.

jeno just sighed, knowing that he'll never win an argument with haechan.

"anyways, why'd you walk with me today?"

"i heard the new kid tried talking to you." haechan sighed hearing his friends words.

"he just said he like my drawing and kept staring at me after that. it was kinda weird." the younger shrugged. he doesn't really see why the new boy would want to talk to him.

"come on, maybe you should try being nice to him." jeno smiled as if that would persuade his friend.

"i doubt he's going to say anything to me again," haechan said, sounding slightly sad though he didn't know why.

"oh do you want him to talk to you?" the older teased.

"shut up— oh look it's my apartment! see you tomorrow!" haechan ran away from jeno, rushing up the stairs to the second floor of the apartment building.

︾

haechan decided to walk to school today, mostly because he had missed his bus. the school isn't too far anyway, he always walks home. he takes the bus in the morning because, who wants to walk for almost 15 minutes in the morning?

after arriving at the school and quickly eating the school breakfast haechan went to his first class. the bell ringing the second he walked into the room.

he sat down in his assigned seat. it's in the back of the class and theres a empty desk to his right.

"alright class we have a new student! you may have seen him in some of your classes yesterday." haechan heard some other muffled words after that, he didn't care much for what was happening and just continued to sketch random drawings in his notebook.

"okay mark, you can sit in the back next to donghyuck." that was the sentence that caught haechan's attention. he looked up to see the new boy awkwardly walking over. sighing, haechan removed his backpack from the seat mark was just assigned to and placed it on the floor.

normally, haechan hates sitting next to someone in class. but this is english and mark is obviously fluent and haechan sucks english. maybe befriending him won't be too bad.

"hey," mark whispered, causing haechan to turn his head and give the boy an annoyed look. "can i see what you're drawing?"

donghyuck's expression never changed. he looked at his notebook and then back to the boy next to him and shrugged, sliding the notebook over to mark.

the new kid looked at haechan's notebook with wide eyes, whispering "wow." as he flipped the page. cute. haechan thinks to himself, smiling for a spilt second before he realized what he did. the sliver haired boy snatches his notebook and closes it, putting it over to his left.

︾

two periods later mark again is in haechan's class. though the boy already knew because he was there yesterday.

ten minutes into the class and donghyuck wants to die. "okay class, since there is now an even number of people in this class you will be working in pairs for a project," the teacher says, making direct eye contact with haechan.

"you're allowed to pick your partners, the project the project is due in two weeks."

haechan wanted to scream. he can already guess who's going to ask him to be their partner.

slowly looking up his eyes meet with mark's, the boy again is smiling.

"wanna be my partner?" mark asked, his smile never leaving his face as if he knows donghyuck will say yes.

looking around the classroom haechan looks for anyone else to work with. realizing everyone else already has a partner he sighs and looks back to mark.

"sure." mark's smile grows, probably proud of himself for getting haechan to speak to him.

︾

during lunch haechan sat at his usual table. he usually has the whole table to himself, occasionally jeno or some random nerd will sit at the table too.

haechan starts drawing again. not in the mood to eat the schools food, it's not bad he just isn't hungry.

the sound of tray being placed on the table and presence of someone makes haechan look up to see who just sat next to him.

mark. of course it is.

"hi!" haechan didn't respond, just turned back to his notebook and continued drawing.

all of lunch mark talked and it was annoying but cute at the same time. donghyuck would never admit it but the boy had the most adorable laugh.

it was actually sad when the bell rang. he didn't mind hearing mark talk and tell random stories.

︾

now haechan is on his way to art, his last class. his mouth almost breaks into a smile thinking about how he'll see mark again.

he's stopped when a boy not much taller then himself pushes him. without looking up donghyuck can already guess who it is.

"what do you want yeseok?" haechan asks with no emotion in his voice.

"you." no emotion. donghyuck just rolled his eyes and tried walked around the boy. tried.

"don't walk away from me princess." the nickname almost made him gag. yeseok pushed donghyuck into the lockers, leaning way to close to the boy's face.

the smaller boy didn't react. he knows it's what the other wants.

"hey! get off of him!" haechan would have expected that voice to be jeno, but it wasn't. he was shocked to see mark run over and push yeseok.

"oh? you've got yourself a little boyfriend?" yeseok spat, his lips curling into a sinister smirk.

again, haechan did not say anything. just grabbed mark's arm and tried to walk away.

"hey! don't fucking speak to him like that!" mark snapped. donghyuck was shocked, no one has ever done something like this for him. it's stupid though, it'd be better if they walked away now.

yeseok turned to mark and laughed.

"look at you. think you can be some hero? haechan is mine," the taller sneered. then slammed mark into lockers and punched him in the stomach.

"h-he doesn't b-belong to any-anyone." mark grunted, speaking between large breaths.

the hallway was still. the three boys had all eyes on them. everyone was amazed by how mark just didn't care and kept pissing off yeseok.

just as yeseok was about to throw his fist into mark's face, his arm was grabbed. the boy was in so much shock that haechan was able to swiftly pull him off of mark.

yeseok's head hit a locker. leaving mark and donghyuck time to get away.

during art class haechan still said nothing to the other boy. today mark decided to sit next to the boy and do exactly what he did at lunch. talk even though he knows he won't get a reply.

"he called you haechan. is that a nickname?"

that question stood out to donghyuck, he looked at mark and nodded. then continued his painting.

Chapter Text

the second day of school mark would say he made a lot of progress with gloom boy— haechan. he got the boy to say one word to him.

he also got that creepy kid off of haechan, he also doesn't understand how gloom boy just let that guy speak to him like that.

right now mark is in english, he took the class knowing it would be an easy A, because well, he's fluent in english. he's a senior and doesn't want to take any classes that are too much work.

currently he's just twirling his pencil in his hand when he hears haechan groan next to him. looking over mark sees the boy throw his pen onto the desk and lean back into his chair.

"do you need help?" mark whispers to the clearly stressed boy.

gloom boy turns to mark and nods. this ended up in mark basically doing the whole worksheet for him.

︾

from then until lunch they didn't talk— well, interact much. haechan didn't really speak anyway.

during chemistry they are partners, but they just researched things on their laptops. though once when mark looked at donghyuck's screen the boy was playing some random game.

now, it's lunch. before going over to haechan mark went to lucas and his friends.

"hey lucas." mark doesn't really talk to the rest of them, they seem kinda rude.

"oh hey mark." lucas seemed normal, but mark was getting odd vibes from the other boys at the table.

"just wanted to say hi before i go sit with haechan." mark awkwardly looks at them. lucas nodded, smiling at the boy then saying a small, "okay," after he chewed his food.

"no offense but like, why do you keep hanging out with him?" mark turned as he heard that, the question obviously being directed towards him. he doesn't remember the boy's name but knows he's chinese, they have a class together. mark thinks his name was xiao- something.

"he's actually pretty nice." that's not a complete lie. from the time he's been with donghyuck the boy seems pretty nice, mark's only known him three days anyway.

"how many words has he said to you?" hendery asked, adding onto the other's question.

"...one. i asked him to be my partner in chemistry and he said sure." yes, mark knows exactly how many words gloom boy has said to him. it's only one, not that hard to keep track of.

yangyang sighed, "they don't mean to sound rude. it's just, he changed a lot after freshman year and we still don't know why." mark see's the boy's expression change, he looks hurt and confused. the other guys at the table having matching expressions.

"oh." marks assuming that they all used to be close to haechan. he thought haechan would have always been a gloom boy, never talking to anyone.

he then heads over to donghyuck. the boy is sitting with his head down, looking sadder then usual.

"hey gloom boy." haechan turns to mark and raises an eyebrow at the nickname.

"gloom boy? that's a new one."

"well, what do people usually call you?"

"loser, worthless, depressed— want me to continue?" mark could practically feel how annoyed haechan is. the boy's eyes said it all anyway.

"s-sorry for asking," mark sputtered. the last thing he wants to do is piss off donghyuck.

"it's fine," haechan said before taking a bite of his food.

mark didn't speak as much as he usually does during lunch today. he'd randomly say something trying to get gloom boy to smile but it never worked.

︾

the only class they have together after lunch is art. mark tried speaking to haechan but the boy was always completely focused. he didn't even turn to mark while he was talking.

when class ended mark decided to follow the boy out of school, he knows haechan walks home and today he was walking home too.

"haechan!" the boy jumped when mark spoke. obviously not knowing that mark was right behind him.

when haechan didn't say anything back mark decided to continue speaking. "so i was wondering if we could work our project? can we go your pl-"

"no."

"why?" mark frowned. though there probably was a good reason he said no.

"because." haechan's expression never changed. it was still that sad look he always had.

"okay mr.sassy," mark laughed, stopping when he saw haechan roll his eyes.

mark coughs then speaks again, "then we'll go to my place. can you come over today?"

"i don't—" haechan's phone dings. he looks at the message and then answers mark's question.

"yeah."

"okay! let's go then!" mark's trying to be upbeat. everyone always says if you're in a good mood it can put the people around you in a good mood.

as they walk to mark's house mark rambles about his family.

"my dog is precious and i love my little brother even though he's an annoying little shit." that made haechan laugh a little, mark saw it. he saw the boy's mouth curve up ever so slightly.

"and my mom is the nicest person ever, you'll most likely love her. my dad's pretty cool too though i barely see him. he's always working— oh look we're hear!" mark awkwardly laughed and then walked up the driveway to the front door with haechan following behind him.

when mark unlocked the door and opened it he was immediately greeted by a small, older woman with the most precious smile with a large dog jumping behind her.

"baby you're home! —oh we have a guest!" she spoke english so haechan obviously didn't understand a thing. mark sighed in relief at that thought, he loves his mom but she can get embarrassing.

"mom, this is haechan we have a project together,"

"oh! you two should get working then, i'll try to keep oliver out of your room!" the woman smiled and shooed them off.

︾

three hours later and they've done a lot for their project. it's around 7:00pm and already pretty dark outside.

they decided to take a break, because how lame is it to finish project in basically one day? actually not that lame, just too much work.

the two talked. yes, an actual conversation and haechan was participating. then mark's dog walked into the room, a golden retriever.

"i've always wanted a dog, but i could never get one." haechan said, petting the dog.

"why?"

"mom's allergic." mark sighed seeing haechan's sad expression.

"what about a cat?" he asked.

"dad's allergic, the only pet i've ever had was a goldfish and it died after a week." mark laughed, he could tell by haechan's small smile that it was meant to be funny.

"so, what's the dogs name?"

"ninja, i named him when i was twelve." mark smiled at his dog, that he usually calls his "baby."

"that's cute." haechan continue to pet the dog. mark smiled as he occasionally heard him cutely mumble "ninja" or "good boy" to the dog.

"boy's, dinners ready!" mark's mom yells from the kitchen.

while they ate mark noticed that donghyuck was eating quite fast. the boy is probably just hungry.

then mark's mom asked haechan if he wanted another plate, the boy agreeing almost immediately.

"mark why can't you eat like your friend?" the woman commented, earning laughter from haechan and mark's younger brother.

haechan finished early, along with oliver. mark watched them play with ninja as he finished his food. it was cute, haechan kept smiling at the child as if he was his own brother.

︾

"when will haechannie come over again! he's more fun than mark!" oliver jumped, he had the biggest smile on his face.

"hey! i'm right here!" mark laughed, watching as his younger brother clung onto haechan.

"sorry mark, according to oli i'm more fun than you." he smiled, kneeling down to the small boy's height.

haechan then said his goodbyes, to mrs.lee, oliver, and mark.

"wait— are you walking home?" mark asked.

"uh yeah, my apartment isn't too far."

"it's pitch black outside i'll walk with you." mark said, grabbing his jacket off of the coat hanger.

"then you'd have to walk back home alone." haechan replied, raising an eyebrow.

"oh my god just let me walk you home!" mark blurted, assuming haechan had already caught on to what he meant.

"come on then," haechan said while walking out the front door. mark quickly followed, stumbling out the door as he struggled to put his shoe on.

he runs up to haechan, walking next to the boy. as they're walking mark starts to think, gloom boy doesn't really fit haechan. or does it? he's only known him for a few days.

"thank you, by the way." marks thoughts were interrupted when haechan spoke, breaking the silence that was there for about three minutes.

"for what?"

"yesterday." with that one word haechan doesn't need to say anymore for mark to understand.

"oh." mark tried not to think about it too much. there could be something personal related with what happened.

"i hope you don't mind me asking but why do you let him treat you like that?" mark asked, genuinely curious. he's assuming this isn't the first time it's happened.

before speaking haechan took a deep breath, which was more of a sigh, "what's the point? it's not like he'll stop. he wants me to complain and tell him to stop, if i don't react he doesn't get what he wants."

"oh." mark mentally slaps himself. it's actually a pretty well-known fact that bullies— or just people who try to make others feel bad about themself, just want some type of negative reaction from the other person.

"well, this is my building. you can go home now." haechan said, walking towards the stairs. not looking back to mark once.

mark took a mental note of the building number and that haechan's apartment is on the top floor. which is also the second one, the building isn't too big.

once he saw haechan unlock a door he turned around and started walking home.

Chapter Text

thursday and friday weren't much different from the rest of the week. haechan did talk to mark a bit more though. it seemed to make him happy and haechan happens to find mark's smile adorable.

now it's a new week. maybe mark's given up haechan though. tried of how the boy has some depressed persona at school but is all energetic anywhere else.

haechan can't help but have depressing thoughts. it's been programmed into his brain at this point. he expects everyone to leave him, wether it's his fault or not— it's usually his. he pushes everyone away. there is only two people who haven't given up on him. jeno being one of them.

all his negative ideas were thrown out the window once mark enter the room. he had the biggest smile on his face as he walked over to his seat next to haechan.

"hi!" mark smiled. donghyuck didn't answer, just looked over to him smiled. it wasn't a big smile— more of a nervous one actually.

the day was just like any other. just mark being slightly more energetic. which haechan couldn't tell why, how could someone be that up beat on a monday.

lunch was pretty entertaining though. they had given out strawberries with the lunch. mark was throwing them into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth, failing most times. haechan found it adorable when he didn't miss though. mark's eyes would widen and he have the biggest smile on his face as he asked haechan, "did you see that?!"

︾

a few minutes before school ends there is an announcement saying the clubs that will be starting soon. most of them are art related, though there is the occasional "video game club" and "book club".

the only clubs that caught haechan's attention were the vocal and dance club, remembering that jeno had said he wanted to participate in them along with his boyfriend and their friends.

haechan would join them but they're filled with people he hasn't spoken to since freshman year. they probably all hate him, he just pushed them away without saying anything. jeno is always telling him that his friends would love to be close to him again, but haechan doesn't believe it.

he misses freshman year. where nothing too bad had happened in his life. he misses back when he could make jokes and interrupt classes without having a care in the world, when he had bunch of friends that always laughed at the stupid things he did.

then the bell rings, he didn't even realize what time it was.

haechan packs up his stuff and rushes out the class. mark followed him outside but didn't walk with him, haechan thought he did but the presence he felt was actually jeno.

"you work today right?" jeno asked.

"yeah," haechan replied.

"i see you're getting close to that new kid, mark is name, right?"

"we just have a biology project together."

"c'mon hyuck, you need friends again," jeno said. "and please think about joining one of the clubs, i promise they miss you. you don't have to explain anything, just try talking to them again, okay?"

haechan sighed, he wants to but jeno is making it sound much easier than it actually is.

"maybe," he says. then waves to jeno before changing his direction from the neighborhood to a plaza across the street.

︾

work wasn't too bad today. not many people walked in. haechan works a music store not too far from his apartment. it had to be close, he doesn't have a car and doesn't want to bother anymore to drive him when he had to work.

haechan unlocked the door and stepped into his apartment.

"oh, you're home early," taeil, haechan's cousin states.

"yeah, they said i could leave early and still get full pay since it wasn't busy."

"that's good." taeil smiles. his smile comforts haechan, he sees the older boy as a brother.

"do you have any homework?" taeil asks.

"yeah, math, what about you?"

taeil nods, "i have a report due in a few weeks." he's a senior in college now, studying music and literature.

this is what their conversations are usually like, when their not joking around or watching a movie.

haechan then walks into their shared room. it's not too small, they fit two twin sized beds in there and still have a decent amount of space left.

once he finishes his homework, he walks back into the main room.

"hyung what's for dinner?" he asks, sitting at their table.

"ramen again, sorry it's the cheapest thing that's, you know, edible," taeil says as he places two bowls onto the table.

most people love eating ramen. but when it's the one of the only things you've been eating for months, it gets sickening.

they don't have much of a variety of foods, sometimes if one of them gets a bonus they'll get some ice cream and maybe even rent a movie.

you see, haechan and taeil didn't always live like this. before they were both with their families, which were wonderful— well, decent.

haechan's parents drank a little too much, sometimes getting aggressive. but he still loved them.

taeil's parents were better.

until taeil came out.

he had just graduated highschool and recently turned eighteen, he finally told his parents he was gay and they were beyond mad. kicked taeil out as fast as they could. said they didn't want to see his face ever again while calling him a series of names.

its a good thing they weren't paying for his college, taeil had gotten a scholarship to a nearby school.

during all of that haechan was just 14. he hadn't even started highschool yet.

he was also the first one taeil came out to, immediately being supportive though he was only 11 at the time. two years later he was the one coming out, though he only told taeil. eventually he did tell jeno.

then when haechan was 15, he came out to his parents. thinking they'd actually might have a different reaction than his aunt and uncle did to taeil.

he was wrong.

they made him shove his stuff in a backpack and leave. not really having anywhere to go he went to taeil's apartment, and they've been living together ever since.

haechan probably could have went to his jeno's house, but he didn't want to bother the boy. him and his family had already done so much for donghyuck.

it's probably for the best. though it did impact haechan's mental health quite a bit.

for a while he kept snapping at everyone. his cheerful, funny personality had disappeared just like that.

he's better now though, has been for a few months. could probably regain his friends if he tried. but that's the problem. he can't try, he doesn't know how.

it's been two years since he's cut them off and despite what jeno says, he doesn't think they'd welcome back that easily.

but haechan has mark now. though he doesn't know how long he will. eventually he'll start pushing the boy away just like he's done with everyone else.

Chapter Text

mark stares at the clock on the wall in front of him, anxiously waiting to be able to go to his next class. taking english was probably a stupid idea but hey, he didn't need much more credits to graduate. why take some hard college class when you can take a language you're already fluent in?

being the bored person he his, mark wanted to find something to do. the closest form of entertainment to him is gloom boy. mark smiled and leaned over to haechan.

"hi," he giggled.

haechan turned so he was facing mark. "what?" he asked, pushing mark away with his elbow.

mark didn't answer, just grabbed a pencil and started drawing on haechan's paper.

"hey! what are you doing?" haechan tries to pull his worksheet away from marks reach but that doesn't work, if he pulled any harder the paper would rip in half.

when mark moves away a small, detailed flower rests on haechan's paper. mark stared at the boy, waiting for a reaction. haechan just smiled and continued his work.

well, marks goal has been completed. he made donghyuck smile.

when class was about to end mark looked over to haechan's paper again. there was now a few other flowers around the one mark had drawn.

︾

the next day haechan was absent. mark doesn't know why and it's not like he can ask him. he doesn't have gloom boy's number.

classes were quite boring without haechan, though he did have lucas.

the classes he has that haechan isn't in were a little more exciting though. in one they were paired into groups, in his was group was lucas, yangyang, and this other kid felix, who is pretty funny.

that class has definitely been the best for mark so far. the others made the project so much fun for a second mark forgot he was even at school. they kept making him laugh so much he could barely breath.

he also sat with lucas and yangyang at lunch. now they're waiting for their other friends to show up. xiaojun and hendery were the next ones to arrive.

"well why don't you just shut the fuck up." mark turns to see ten, johnny's boyfriend yelling at two others.

"you just said that an orange is a berry!" one of them said, looking pretty annoyed. he had a black hair and bunny-like face.

"how the fuck am i supposed to know the difference between fruits and berries!?"

"guys calm down!" the other said, looking even more stressed then johnny, who was trying to get ten to stop yelling.

"fuck off kun!" ten and the bunny boy yell to the other person.

"if you're wondering, the people ten's arguing with are, they're his friends, doyoung and kun, they're all in the same grade." lucas said. mark's assuming lucas saw how confused he was.

"they're actually best friends, they do this all the time," lucas adds.

"what's up little bro?" johnny says, ruffling mark's hair when they reach the table. he's basically adopted mark at this point.

"ten, why do you have to be so fucking-"

"where's jaehyun?" johnny asks, purposely speaking over doyoung.

"jaehyun? i just saw him chasing taeyong in the hallways," yuta said as he arrived at the table. mark actually hasn't met taeyong yet, he's been spending all his time stalking haechan.

"damn, he really won't give up," johnny sighs.

"sunshine!" they all turn hearing the deep voice.

a boy, with soft but sharp features and dark hair streaked by blue, is running. behind him is jaehyun, with the biggest smile plastered on his face as he chases after the boy, yelling "sunshine!" in the process.

the other boy, who mark is assuming is taeyong, stops when he reaches the stage at the front of the cafeteria. he's taking deep breaths as jaehyun makes his way over to him.

"you know, when you guys said jaehyun is chasing after that taeyong guy, i didn't think you meant literally," mark says, looking over at the two.

honestly, taeyong doesn't look annoyed. he has a big smile as he's talking to jaehyun, if mark heard correctly, he was bragging about how he won their race.

he then blushes, shoving a big folder into jaehyun's arms and rushes away.

"that's cause we didn't," lucas said. they all stare at the two in confusion.

"i said jaehyun was chasing him, what did you not get from that?"

"oh my fuck yuta just shut-"

"wait, why is taeyong here? doesn't he eat lunch at a different time so he doesn't have to be with jaehyun?" xiaojun asks, talking over ten. giving johnny the chance to awkwardly smile as he covers the boys mouth with his hand.

"they're trying to get kids to join student council," kun answers.

"how would the student council even work at a school like this?" mark asks.

"the members are mostly highschool students, but then there is a few college students to make sure the highschoolers don't do anything stupid," doyoung says to mark.

"aren't you guys supposed to be doing that with them?" hendery says, looking at doyoung and kun, then pointing to taeyong and jaehyun.

the two look at each other, then cover their faces.

"that doesn't make you disappear," xiaojun laughs.

"okay, it's just who wants to stand up on a stage and yell at a bunch of highschool kids and try to get them to participate in something," kun says, defending himself and doyoung.

"what's it for again? student council? i'll join." mark shrugs, he needs something to do with his life anyway.

"yeah, me too," xiaojun says, then looks over to yangyang.

"what?! i'm not doing that shit!" he panics, not wanted to take part in any school activities. he then looks over to hendery.

"what!? i'm not gonna do it either!" he puts his arms up as a "calm down" sign.

"anyways, just go talk to taeyong and jaehyun if they aren't sucking each others faces off in the back room," doyoung says, pointing over to the two. jaehyun keeps moving closer to taeyong, the shorter boy just blushes and continues to move away.

mark and xiaojun then walk over to them. it wasn't too far.

"you guys wanna join student council?" taeyong asked. the two nodded.

"mark? didn't think you'd join something like this," jaehyun laughed, handing the boy a green paper.

"you've only known me for like a we-"

"oh! you're the mark johnny's calling his son!" mark was cut off by taeyong, who was now laughing.

they talked for a bit then sat back down with their friends. taeyong said to meet after school for a few minutes, just to see every who is interested. the room number they're meeting in is on the paper along with a few other things.

︾

mark sits at his desk waiting for the bell to ring. he finds himself doing this a lot. even more since haechan is absent today.

art was quite boring. without haechan he had no inspiration or motivation to draw anything.

he's actually excited for student council. he'll probably make some more friends. though most likely mark will continue to follow haechan around everywhere.

the bell rings. mark shoots up from his desk and walks into the hallway. looking at the map on his phone trying to find room 347.

after a two minutes and couple wrong turns, he finds the room. jaehyun was standing outside, holding the door open while also having everyone sign a paper.

mark signed the paper and sat down next to xiaojun. he recognized a few of the other students but couldn't remember their names. two of them he's pretty sure he's seen with that one kid haechan talks to, jeno right?

a minute later, taeyong, jaehyun, doyoung, and kun are standing in front of the highschoolers.

"ok so this is going to sound boring as fuck but you guys are going to take turns introducing yourself, just saying your name is enough," jaehyun said to the students, the girls melting over how attractive he is. too bad he's head over heels for taeyong.

introductions weren't too bad. mark just said "hey, i'm mark lee and i just moved here from canada."

other students had more interesting facts. some were apparently trainees at entertainment company's, or were just very passionate about the arts. which isn't surprising, this is a performing and visual arts academy.

the rest of the meeting was a bit more fun. they all played random games to get to know each other.

while waiting for his mom to pick him up, mark saw jaemin -one of the boys he recognized- with jeno. they're pretty obviously a couple. if the hugging and hand holding didn't give it away it was definitely the kisses.

mark wishes he was in a relationship. he's actually only been with girls. most people say he, "radiates straight people energy" and he honestly doesn't know what that means.

he wants a boyfriend, and he's assuming he might have to, "look gayer".

though, if he tries getting with haechan he might not have to. mark has been doing all those cute things around him for a reason.

Chapter Text

    the irritating sound of an alarm fills the room. haechan groans as he's awoken, reaching his arm out to grab his phone which is playing the horrendous sound.

"get up hyuck, i let you stay home yesterday," taeil says to haechan. he shakes the boy in attempt to wake him more.

haechan just sighs and rolls out of bed. he doesn't want to make taeil's life more stressful than it already is.

he gets ready and then makes his way to the bus stop, he isn't in the mood to walk to school today. after a few minutes the bus arrives. stepping onto the bus he notices a familiar face sitting the the first seat.

"hi haechan!" mark greets, smiling at donghyuck.

haechan fights a smile. he just sits down, not saying a thing to mark or even looking at him.

he notices mark frown for a second. just a second. he then had the biggest smile on his face and talked to donghyuck.

haechan didn't really pay attention too much, it seemed like the stuff mark is always taking about. something cool that happened in a show or youtube series he's watching, or even something his little brother did.

︾

english wasn't too interesting today. there was a substitute and she was annoying as fuck. didn't let the students do anything. couldn't talk, couldn't listen to music, couldn't use a translator for help. they couldn't even go to the fucking bathroom.

but there was one girl who wasn't having it. haechan actually kinda wants to be friends with her. she asked to go to the bathroom and obviously the boomer they had a substitute said no. so the girl, siyeong, stood up and said, "if you don't let me go to the bathroom i will piss my pants right here and not give two fucks."

then as the teacher was yelling at her for using foul language, she just walked out of the class.

that was probably the most interesting thing that happened all day. everything was else normal.

at lunch he was just annoyed. mark kept asking him questions that he obviously didn't want to answer. though he couldn't tell where the anger was coming from. usually he's laughing at mark's random comments but today he just can't.

now, during art haechan just put in his headphones and drew within the theme the teacher had given them. he blocked out every sound and anything that could disturb his concentration.

art is one of the few things haechan actually cares about. every type of art, performing and visual. he sings a bit. taeil has been giving him small lessons for a few years now.

he loves singing and writing songs. he doesn't take any vocal classes at school though. his parents said that his dream of becoming a famous idol was unrealistic. that stuck with him and now he doesn't take any performing arts classes.

"haechan, can you come to my house to work on our project today?" mark whispers to him a minute before class ends.

"no, i'll just do my part at my place." haechan doesn't know what made him say no. probably the fact that he doesn't want to get attached to anyone.

he's also working today, 4:00pm to 9:00pm. he needs to help pay his and taeil's rent.

mark was about to say something then the bell rang. haechan rushed out of the class, he has ten minutes to get to work and isn't exactly in the mood to interact with anyone.

︾

haechan is cleaning a table, waiting for it to become 8:30pm. at 8:30pm he's allowed to go up on the stage of the little cafe and sing songs that the costumers recommend.

haechan stared at the clock, he watched the long hand land on the 6 and his head snapped to the side. his eyes met with his boss'. the man smiled and waved haechan off, signaling that he can go onto the small stage.

there wasn't too many people inside the cafe, it is a wednesday night. perhaps that's why haechan isn't so nervous performing here. there's very few people and they all don't know him, they don't know anything about him. something about that comforts him. knowing he doesn't have to fit into a persona he made for himself while he's around certain people.

haechan sets himself on the stool. smiling as he looks around at the people in the small room. some of the faces he recognized, they come to the cafe a lot and usually give donghyuck some tips.

he does his introduction that he always does, "hello i'm haechan and will be performing here for the next 30 minutes, feel free to recommend any songs."

soon he finished his first song. the claps from the small crowd made him feel good about himself.

as the night went on he kept singing quite popular songs, some of the customers singing along from their seats.

right before haechan started his last song, a little girl, no older than five, walked over with a man who is obviously her father. the man lifts the child up and she places ₩6,000 into the small bucket labeled tips sitting by the edge of the stage.

before her father placed her back onto the ground she smiled and said, "i really like your voice!" she sounded mature for her age. her voice was clear and she didn't stutter.

haechan smiled at the child and thanked her.
he watched as she skipped slightly ahead of her father and out the doors of the cafe.

haechan then sung his last song for the night. while he was putting some stuff away and counting the tips he heard someone talk to him.

"it still amazes me how well you can sing." haechan turns to see jeno standing there with his boyfriend.

"you don't have to be so nice." haechan laughs, putting the ₩20,000 he received in tips into his pocket.

"you really can though! i bet your voice would sound really good with renjun's," jaemin says. haechan actually is pretty close to jaemin, they talk a bit outside of school because of jeno.

haechan smiled hearing renjun's name. they haven't spoken in a while but they were so close. they were always singing together, everyone would be telling them to shut the fuck up but they just sung louder.

jaemin never heard them sing together, he just came the school last year.

"please think about joining one of the clubs," jeno pleaded. he wants haechan to be able to be himself again.

"i already said i'll think about it," haechan replied as he grabbed his backpack that was laying by the piano.

the three continued their conversation as they left the cafe. jeno insisted on giving haechan a ride even though his apartment wasn't too far.

︾

the next few weeks haechan didn't talk to mark much. it's not like he meant to, honestly he didn't even realize he was doing it.

they finished their project a while ago. haechan only went to marks house that one day. that sort of disappointed mark, he enjoyed having donghyuck there.

the whole day haechan didn't say anything to mark. he purposely didn't eat lunch in the cafeteria just to get away from him.

haechan's actually trying to get his old friends back. he ate in the music room along with jeno, jaemin and renjun. it shouldn't be too hard to start talking to renjun again, they're already pretty similar.

renjun is still always singing, he randomly hits high notes perfectly.

while they were there haechan didn't say much. he just let the three of them talk. he was constantly fighting the urge to say something, not wanting them to acted too shocked or anything.

︾

mark can't stop thinking of haechan.

he doesn't know where the gloom boy is right now but mark wishes he was by his side. he enjoys haechan's sassy comments to the all things he says.

he wishes their project could have lasted longer. he would have been able to spend more time with haechan without looking like he's obsessed with the boy.

"hey mark!"

"huh?" mark jumped out of his daydream and looked at his friends. "what did you say?"

"we asked if you liked exo's comeback."

"of course i did!" mark said, slightly offended that they thought there was a possibility he didn't like it.

they continued talking. mark still wasn't paying too much attention to them. he was thinking of ways to get closer to haechan. he knows the boy likes to draw and listen to music.

︾

it's finally mark's favorite class of the day. art. he loves watching haechan paint, he always looks so consumed in his art and mark finds that beautiful.

today their assignment was to paint something in nature. they could add whatever twist they wanted it just had to be nature related.

mark painted a waterfall in a forest, surrounded by little fairies and other small animal hidden in the trees.

when finished he immediately looked over to haechan's canvas. it was a person with plants growing off of them, the hair was vines and had flowers in it, eyebrows were just flowers and their eyes looked like water. mark was amazed haechan could do that in the little time they had.

the teacher then started passing out a bright yellow paper with a white one attached to it by a staple. it was a felid trip form, to the art museum that's nearby.

mark noticed that haechan wasn't going to take the paper. but after the teacher said some things he sighed and took the form.

"hey haechan-" mark began.

"what do you want?" haechan didn't even look at mark.

"are you going on the trip?"

haechan rolled his eyes and stood up. "i guess so." he sighed, then grabbed his backpack snd walked out the class as the bell rang.

Chapter Text

  haechan's actually doing his homework, he usually just copies off of jeno. today, he's sat at the table near the small kitchen. all his stuff spread out on the table.

it's a little dark. it's 5:00pm and the sun has already started to set. haechan only had one light on too. having anymore on would make their electric bill unnecessarily high.

the door then opens, taeil walks into the apartment with a tired look on his face. as he set his backpack down a certain paper caught his eye.

"what's this?" taeil asks. he grabs the paper and starts reading it.

"felid trip, it's $15, i said i didn't want to go but mr.kim said i should and that he'd pay for me." haechan didn't look up from his homework.

"that's nice of him, he was always my favorite teacher." taeil smiles, placing the paper back onto the messy table and signs it as haechan's guardian.

︾

haechan hasn't spoken to mark all day, unless you want to count his passive aggressive comments.

him and mark are sitting at their usual lunch table, alone. most days no one sits there.

that changes when a group of five boys sits down at the table. jeno, to the left of haechan with jaemin to his left. then renjun along with two other boys sat at across from them.

mark knew jeno, jaemin, and renjun from a few of his classes and seeing them with haechan. the other two he doesn't know, they appear to be younger.

"hey, you guys don't mind us sitting here, right?" jeno said after he sat down along with the rest of them.

mark looked to haechan, who just shrugged and continued writing something in his notebook.

"that's chenle and jisung by the way, they're juniors."

mark looked over at the two boys. one had light-green, mint colored hair and the other's was a pastel orange.

the mint haired boy- chenle, smiled brightly and waved to mark and haechan while jisung shyly looked up and cutely waved.

mark didn't know what to do. he liked being alone with haechan. how he acts changes depending on the people he's around. mark enjoys gloom boy, aka the "personality" haechan has while he's with mark.

there was an awkward tension between everyone. jeno tried his best to get rid of it, making terrible jokes and always keeping the conversation going.

mark wasn't his normal self, he barely said a word. he justs wants to be alone with haechan.

lunch is almost over. mark and haechan both left slightly early. mark only left because haechan did, he wanted to see where the boy was going.

so he trailed behind haechan as he walked through the halls. to mark's surprise, gloom boy walked pretty fast. mark tried walking at haechan's side but he just walked faster.

mark was getting a little exhausted. he speed up to haechan's side but this time the boy didn't walk faster.

haechan stopped. he took a deep breath and turned to mark.

"can you stop following me?"  he snapped.

"i thought-"

"just leave me alone." haechan rolled his eyes and walked away, at a normal speed this time.

mark didn't go after him. he hates making gloom boy mad.

mark watched haechan until he turned a corner and could no longer be seen from where mark was standing.

sighing, mark turned around. his class was the other direction and should be starting in a few minutes.

︾

the next few days gloom boy has been getting ruder. though he's not exactly mean, more passive aggressive, with the passive part slowly fading.

mark isn't paying attention to whatever the teacher is lecturing about. it's not like whatever it is matters too much anyway.

right now all he wants to do is to find out why haechan has been acting different. it could be his fault but mark could also no relevance to it whatsoever.

in two classes he'll finally be able to see gloom boy. it's when they have art. mark's planning on speaking to him in the last five minutes of the class where they don't do anything. he would speak to him during class but haechan is always extremely focused and he doesn't want to interrupt him.

mark thought of talking to jeno, he isn't that close to the boy but he does know jeno is best friends with haechan. then he decided against it, thinking he will be able to solve things with gloom boy on his own.

then the bell rings. both boy's leave their classes that are on separate sides of the building.

though they aren't even near each other their walk to the art classroom is almost identical. squeezing through crowds of people and wishing to be anywhere but school.

there is one more similarity. they both can't get the other off their mind.

mark is constantly thinking of gloom boy's perfectly shaped features. his plump lips, tan skin that always appears smooth, and adorable doe eyes. mark swears he sees haechan's eyes sparkle from time to time.

then haechan wishes for mark to get off his mind. hating how he's always picturing the boy in his cute glasses and hearing his adorable giggle. it makes haechan want to punch something. that anger you get when you don't understand why you're feeling a certain emotion.

between the two, haechan reached the class first. a few seconds later mark walked in, smiling brightly when he sees gloom boy.

mark takes his seat beside haechan. he glances over at him as mr.kim gives them their instructions for the next few days.

mark couldn't focus. he kept unconsciously looking over at haechan. he doesn't know if it's because he's nervous to speak to him later or not.

the past week they haven't exchanged may words, not that they usually do. it's just been even less recently.

it was officially five minutes before class ended but haechan was still working on his painting. to mark's dismay, he worked until the very last second of class.

mark being mark, waited outside the classroom for gloom boy. haechan soon walked out but he didn't even look at mark for a second. he immediately started walking towards the school's exit.

he would have followed haechan but he has a student council meeting and taeyong is very strict about them showing up as early as possible.

sighing mark turned and made his way to the classroom the meeting would be held in.

︾

haechan saw mark waiting. though he didn't want to talk to the boy. he already could tell what mark was going to say and he honestly didn't have an actual answer.

he decided to walk home slower today. his shift doesn't start for a few hours and he already knows taeil will be home late again.

taeil's always working very hard. he's always staying late for extra money and then studies until 3:00am even if he has a class in the morning.

as haechan walks he doesn't exactly look where he's going. he's walked home the same way for years, he knows the way to his apartment better than he knows himself.

he starts kicking rocks and any other objects lying on the sidewalk for entertainment.

"hyuck! wait for me!" haechan turns to see his one and only best friend rushing over to him.

"walking with me again, where are your friends?" haechan laughs.

"renjun and jaemin are in student council and chenle and jisung take the bus," jeno replied.

"what about you? where's mark? i usually see him following you around."

haechan just shrugged. attempting to not showing any interest in mark.

"you know, maybe it would be good to have someone like him in your-" jeno started before he was cut off.

"i don't need nor want anyone, he'd just leave and give up like everyone else anyway," haechan stated, not a single emotion noticable in his voice or facial expression.

"i'm just saying- he seems like someone that could-"

"i don't care about what he could possibly do. i am completely fine the way i am right now."

"haechan please let me finish my sentences," jeno pleaded.

"trust me, it's pointless trying to get me to go back to the old me. believe me, i miss having a million friends and always being happy, but that's just not how i am anymore," haechan sighs,

"and i really believe there's nothing you or mark could do about that."

Chapter Text

it's finally the day of the felid trip. along with mark and haechan's class there are other people there that take mr.kim's art class, just at a different time.

you'd think since all the students are either seventeen or eighteen they'd be allowed to walk around on their own, but they can't. they have to follow around a tour guide and after that they can walk around for ten minutes.

being the highschooler's they all are, some students snuck away during the tour, probably causing trouble or making out in the bathrooms.

mark stayed with the class. though some kids that he occasionally talks to tried to get him to follow them when they left the group.

the whole time mark was just watching haechan. mark could tell when there was a piece haechan really liked. the gloom boy's face expression stayed the same but that didn't hide the amazement in his eyes.

haechan looks effortlessly amazing. all he's wearing is the school's felid trip shirt, a black jacket, and black jeans that fit perfectly, especially around his thighs.

mark really doesn't mean to stare, he can't help it. what are you supposed to to when the most beautiful person you've ever seen is right in front of you?

they're currently at the best part of the tour, lunch. they were brought to a room where the food the students brought was along with 2 food stalls.

mark's mother gave him some money for food. he got in line and ordered.

walking to a table mark noticed haechan sitting alone and without any food. he was about to go over there and tell haechan that he'll buy him something with his extra cash. then mr.kim went over to him and placed a fast-food bag in front of the boy.

mark thought about sitting with haechan, but he didn't. acquaintances of his pulled him over to their table. not even five minutes passed and they were already gone, off to cause trouble around the museum.

there's art in this room too. it's amazing the talent people can have. some of the paintings are so realistic that it looks as if it was taken by a photographer.

while looking at the captivating paintings mark starts making up stories that match the picture. one's about a beautiful and talented girl, expected to be extremely successful and famous by everyone she knows. though the future they planned out for her is nothing similar to the one she wants. she wants a simple life, away from the troubles of the world, where she and her soulmate can spend the rest of their days together.

"hey." mark feels something gently touch his shoulder, immediately turning at the contact.

when he turns he sees haechan standing behind him, looking down to mark with a foreign look in his eyes.

"hey, w-what's up?" mark asked, feeling haechan's grip on his shoulder tighten.

"oh, nothing," haechan says calmly, "just wanted to ask you something."

mark looks up at the boy, confused. haechan has an alluring gaze and his eyes are more mesmerizing than they usually are.

not wanting to wait for mark to say something, haechan leaned down, his lips almost touching mark's ear. the boy's cold breath made mark's ear tingle and caused him to shiver.

"how about we go somewhere a little more interesting?" gloom boy whispers. he drags his hand on mark's shoulder towards the boy's neck, carefully caressing the soft skin.

mark's face immediately heated. haechan moved back and mark stared at him in shock.
haechan raised an eyebrow at mark, waiting for an answer.

mark opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. haechan smirked, dragging his hand down mark's arm to grab his hand. he quickly pulled mark out of the lunchroom so no one would notice them.

"where are we going?" mark asked, almost a whisper.

"that's a surprise babe." haechan smirks. they turn a corner and are suddenly isolated from everyone else at the museum.

they enter a bathroom down the narrow hallway. the stall walls are normal walls and the doors are regular doors too, so you can't see who is inside them.

haechan confidently took mark to the furthest stall. it wasn't big, they barely fit inside it together.

haechan threw off his jacket then grabbed mark by his waist and pinned him against the wall. he then moves his hands up the boy's body and places them on the wall, trapping mark between his arms.

at first haechan just admires mark's face, causing him to become even more flustered.

when haechan starts moving closer mark panics.

"w-what are you doing?" he asks.

"you think i don't see the way you look at me?" haechan whispers in mark's ear. mark can't see but a smirk forms on haechan's face.

mark doesn't reply, just tries to hide his face, but haechan grabs his wrist before he could cover his face.

his breath lingers on mark's skin, before going any further haechan grabs mark's hand and intertwines their fingers, trying to calm the boy.

as a sign to continue, with his free hand mark grabs the back of haechan's neck and pulls him even closer.

haechan begins by painting mark's jawline in small kisses. he feels a something tug on his hair and notices mark's hand is there.

he slowly makes his way over to mark's lips, leaving a trail of cute kisses across his face.

then their lips connect. the sudden contact shocked mark but this is what he had been waiting for, waiting to feel haechan's lips against his own.

mark's small lips contrast to haechan's thick ones, though they still fit together perfectly. like some people say, opposites attract.

haechan moved his other hand off the wall, it now cupping mark's face. he traced his thumb over the boy's peach-like skin as he brought his tongue along mark's bottom lip.

hesitating for a second, mark parts his lips allowing haechan's tongue to enter his mouth. their tongues fought like dogs, mark eventually gave up and let haechan take control.

instinctively, mark's hands trailed down to the hem of haechan's shirt, he pulled on the fabric, wanting it off. haechan smirked into the kiss and pulled away.

catching mark's hint, he took a step back and pulled off his shirt. when he moved back to mark he held the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up. cooperating with haechan, mark lifted his arms, allowing him to pull of his shirt.

haechan then reconnected their lips, quickly pushing his tongue back inside. their hands move to each other's chests, mark rubs his fingers across haechan's sensitive nipples, he moans and pushes deeper into the kiss.

haechan tightly grips mark's small waist, slight muscles become visible from the strength he's using. he harshly holds mark against the wall, trapping him between the wall and his body.

pulling away, haechan moves to attack mark's neck. he sucks on the exposed skin, mark's hands still playing with his nipples.

mark's moans get consistently louder. once haechan found his sweet spot near his collarbone they got louder and more lewd.

"shh, these walls are thin, don't want anyone to hear you," haechan whispers in his ear before continuing to suck on his neck, leaving purple-ish red marks on the sick.

mark attempted to hold back his moans as haechan's hands explored his body, but they just turned into whimpers and whines.

💥

"mark! mark? what are you doing?!" chuu, one of mark's friends, yelled as she slapped the back of his head. two boy's followed behind her her, jungwoo and winwin.

mark jumped and looked at the cute girl in shock. his eye were wide, he felt his chest and neck, his shirt is on and everything feels normal. what happened with haechan wasn't real. why would he imagine that?

"dude why do you look like you're about to shit yourself?" winwin laughed, patting the boy's shoulder.

mark didn't answer, still slightly confused. the daydream was so realistic.

"we're you taking a nap or something?" jungwoo asked, laughing along with his friends.

"uhh yeah," mark replied, not wanting anyone know about the vivid daydream he just had.

"okay," chuu laughed, "we're leaving in like five minutes come on." she grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him out of the lunchroom but she wasn't strong enough.

mark then got up and followed the three to the entrance/exit of the museum, where chuu, jungwoo, and winwin went back to their other friends and mr.kim was making sure every student was there.

mark could have went with the trio, but one of the girls they're friends with has a crush on mark and makes it painfully obvious. so he tries to make it painfully obvious, that he isn't interested.

he looks around as mr.kim is calling everyones name, he hears his and yells "here!" so mr.kim could hear him over the talkative students.

a name not to far after his catches his attention, lee donghyuck. it isn't exactly surprising that that's the name that stood out to mark.

haechan didn't say anything when mr.kim yelled out his name, he just walked over to the teacher so he knew he wasn't lost.

mark felt his face flush when he saw donghyuck, powerfully walking, his head up, not wanting to deal with anyone's shit. mark doesn't know why he feels so embarrassed, they didn't even actually do anything. it was all his imagination.

perhaps it's because he has always found haechan extremely pretty. for mark, every little thing about haechan is perfect, even though he obviously doesn't know everything about the boy. he's only known haechan for about two months.

a few minutes later they're all back on the bus. haechan is sitting a few seats ahead of mark, next to mr.kim.

mark ended up sitting by the girl that is practically in love with him, he's so thankful the bus ride isn't too long.

during the bus ride mark ignores the girl to his right and just looks out the window, wishing it was haechan beside him. wishing that his daydream wasn't just his imagination.

Chapter Text

  the whole weekend mark couldn't get donghyuck off his mind.

he's realized how well the nickname haechan fits him, through his eyes, donghyuck shines like the sun. haechan's skin and eyes glow. his skin looks so pretty under sunlight that it looks as if there's glitter coating his face.

"haechan" probably fits donghyuck a bit better than "gloom boy" does. or maybe they both fit him, showing different sides of the boy.

mark sighs and throws the miniature basketball he's holding into the hoop attached to the back of his door. groaning when the ball doesn't fall into the circle.

he's supposed to leave for school in a few minutes. the only reason he ever actually wants to show up is too see haechan.

well, the school isn't that bad. most of the teachers are pretty nice and almost all the classes mark takes are his part of his actual interests. vocal lessons, art, music theory.

this week his mom his driving him too school. each week mrs.lee alternates which son she'll drive to school and which will take the bus. taking the bus isn't too bad too mark, though it'd be much more enjoyable if haechan didn't ignore him.

there's a knocking on mark's bedroom door before his mother pushes it open.

"we're leaving soon, get your stuff ready," she says, smiling at her eldest son.

when she leaves she doesn't shut the door all the way, allowing ninja to burst into the room. the dog immediately jumped onto mark's bed and started to lick all over his face.

after getting ninja off of him, mark changed his clothes and waited for his mother.

︾

when mark arrives to school he immediately notices haechan. he admires the boy from afar. the boy's tan skin is glowing under the sunlight, he's wearing a grey hoodie that's slightly oversized, and black jeans. haechan's almost always wearing black jeans.

mark wants to go over to haechan and talk to him like he normally does but he just can't. whenever he sees his face the daydream he had last friday haunts him.

as he's walking to the hallway his first person is in someone runs up behind him and lightly slaps the back of his head. mark turns around but no one is there, he faces forward again and jumps seeing chuu standing in front of him with winwin and jungwoo behind her.

"hey mark whatcha doing?" she asks.

"walking to my class," mark says, ignoring how the trio appeared out of nowhere.

"that should've been obvious," winwin mumbled.

"hey, be nice!" jungwoo pouted, his voice soft.

chuu turned and sighed. "well, see you later then!" she smiled turning to wave to mark.

"let's go! woo!" she yells.

"woo!" jungwoo says.

"win!" winwin finishes.

"woo-woo-win? what's that?" mark asks, confused at their chanting.

"my real name is jiWOO, then there's jungWOO, and winWIN. it's our squad name," chuu answers.

"lucas calls us the, 'uwu squad'," jungwoo said, his smile growing with each word.

mark laughs, actually not knowing what else to do. he didn't know they knew lucas, then again he has seen lucas talking with jungwoo once or twice.

then the group leaves. it's quite funny watching them. there's two boys about 5'11 with a girl about 5'3 standing between them. as he's watching them the group pauses, then chuu is picked up by winwin and jungwoo firemen style and carried to her class.

laughing, mark turns and continues walking to his class. while he's in the classroom his leg bounces as he stares at the doorway.

he's waiting for haechan to walk in, but he can't tell if he wants haechan to or not. mark already knows he's at school today, but haechan could possibly skip if he wanted to.

that thought is thrown away when haechan steps into the room. mark's heart beat immediately quickens seeing the boy. he's so pretty.

"uh... hi?" mark jumps at the sudden words. he looks up and sees haechan standing not too far from his desk. mark's face starts to heat, he was probably caught staring.

nervous, mark just waves and turns so he wouldn't have to talk to haechan.

twenty minutes after class began mark felt something touch his arm. turning he sees haechan leaving over to smack mark with his paper.

"help," haechan whispers so the teacher wouldn't hear.

mark sighs, not wanting to be caught he just hands his paper over to haechan and takes out a book so it looks like he's doing something.

︾

at lunch mark his working on a math worksheet. let's just say he doesn't understand shit. he keeps mumbling random cries off stress and swears

"can you shut up?" haechan snaps, slamming his pen onto the table.

"sorry," mark says, not taking his focus of the paper in front of him.

"what are you even doing? pre-calculus? it's not even that hard." haechan starts angrily explaining to mark how to do the problems.

mark tried paying attention when haechan explained the so-called "simple" questions, but he lost all focus when he saw the veins on haechan's neck. the fact that they're popping out probably means haechan's pretty stressed or angry right now. that thought didn't really passed mark's mind, all he wanted to do was feel haechan's neck. he wants to know if his skin is a smooth as he imagined.

"are you even listening?" haechan pushes mark with his elbow, having noticed that the boy was staring off at nothing.

as mark's thinking of an excuse, haechan rolls his eyes and slides the paper and pencil back over to mark. he then looks at the time and decides he can head to his next class now.

sighing, mark watches as haechan leaves the cafeteria, not looking back even once.

︾

mark went through the rest of his classes having one person on his mind, —it's haechan if you didn't guess. he pictured the pretty boy's face, sliver hair falling in place.

then he arrived at art. there was as substitute, so naturally the students just did whatever they wanted. they didn't cause too much of a disturbance, for the most part they were quiet.

mark pretended to be on his phone. pretended because he's secretly just watching haechan. it might seem kinda creepy but he just admires the boy so much. he always looks so passionate while drawing and mark finds that beautiful.

there's another new student, so mark won't be known as the new kid anymore. mark's assuming that everyone's already told the new boy to not speak to haechan, it's the only thing people's said to mark on his first day.

it looks like new boy is similar to mark. he doesn't want to listen to what everyone says about gloom boy. it's making him slightly jealous, he's supposed to be the only one that befriends haechan.

mark watches as new boy makes his way over to haechan. everyone is staring at him, just like when everyone stared at mark for doing the same.

new boy taps haechan's shoulder, something mark didn't do. haechan turns at the contact. marks smiled when heard haechan say "fuck off mar-" then stop when he say the new boy.

"your painting's really good, could you give me lessons?" the new boy smiled, unaware of what's about to come next. mark couldn't help but laugh.

haechan rolled his eyes, "fuck off before i shove this paint brush down your throat."

mark's eyes widened. he wasn't expecting haechan to actually say anything. not gonna lie, haechan swearing is kinda hot-

a few minutes later class ends, it's probably not surprising that mark ended up running after haechan.

"you could've just asked me to wait for you," haechan said when mark caught up to him.

"would you have even waited?"

"probably not, but i would've walked slower," haechan laughs.

mark's confused, haechan isn't acting like himself. he started a conversation, haechan's never said anything to him first.

just this morning haechan was angry, just like he has been for the past week and now he's not. mark knows nothing happened recent to change how haechan feels because, well, he's been practically stalking the boy all day.

"watch where you're fucking going!"

mark jumped hearing haechan. he turned to see a small student, definitely a freshman.

"hyung i'm sorry!" the boy kept repeating his words as haechan gave him a nasty stare. mark grabbed haechan's shoulder, wanting to tell him to be nicer to the underclassman but he just shook mark's hand off and walked forward, moving the freshman out of his way by pushing him with his shoulder.

"they didn't mean to bump into you, you don't have to-" mark said as he ran to catch up with haechan.

"if you don't like how i act just leave me alone," haechan interrupted, then rolled his eyes and looked back to mark.

they made eye contact. surprisingly, for the first time. besides in mark's imagination. though that was just how mark pictured making eye contact with haechan would be. this was different. haechan's gaze was more intimidating and annoyed than loving and lustful.

"you can be annoying, but that new kid is even more annoying than you," haechan spoke. it sounded like a joke but mark isn't sure.

he doesn't understand why haechan snapped at the new boy, he was pretty nice. then again the way he spoke and smirked just sounded like he wanted to get in haechan's pants. or he could have genuinely wanted painting lessons.

lost in thought, mark forgot to reply to haechan.

"dude you've been acting weirder than normal, what's your problem?" haechan said, wavying his hand in mark's face to gain his attention.

for the second time, they made eye contact. mark couldn't control the flashes of his daydream that popped into his mind. haechan staring at him with lustful eyes, sucking on his neck, trailing his hands along his body.

"n-nothing." like mark would actually say what's going on in his mind.

haechan just shrugged at his response, obviously not caring anymore. he began walking, leaving mark behind him to collect his thoughts.

mark watched as haechan calmly walked ahead. his hands were in his pockets and his head was held high.

Chapter Text

mark's noticed that haechan isn't just snapping at him anymore. he's going for the throat of any random student that just glances at him. mark doesn't know if this is his fault or not. does he annoy haechan that much?

from what he's heard, haechan wasn't like this previous years. except freshman year, but they still said he was nicer back then.

like what happened with the new boy. haechan could have just stayed quiet like he usually does, but he didn't. mark's proud of him for that. a few days ago mark over heard a conversation new boy was having and he was dared to try get gloom boy to go home with him.

mark also recognized one of the people that dared him. though he doesn't have any memory of his name. it's the boy that was harassing haechan before, it's been a while since that incident but the dudes face still makes mark's blood boil.

from what mark has seen, he hasn't gone near haechan since then. mark would like to think he scared him away but he knows that's not true, the other boy is much bigger than mark, he could beat him up if he wanted to.

right now mark is just walking around the school. definitely not looking for gloom boy.

then mark turned a corner and saw the said silver haired boy. there were two boys and a girl standing around him. mark saw haechan's face he was clearly not amused by what was happening.

only one of them was taller then haechan, not even by that much too. by the ugly smirks on their faces mark could guess what they were doing.

his instinct was to run and protect haechan but he knew he didn't have to. mark stayed away, wanting to see the situation unfold.

not much happened. mark couldn't hear them too well anyway. but whatever haechan said last greatly offended them, especially the girl who was being held back by the boys.

mark laughed and went the direction haechan went, hoping to run into him. usually mark doesn't enjoy verbal fights, but he could tell the group had provoked haechan.

as he slowly follows behind donghyuck he sees things he didn't expect to see. haechan's pushing students out of his way, making them drop their things, and just causing a disturbance.

gloom boy's style has changed too. before he would wear fairly normal clothes with different colors, now it's all black and grey. either his signature grey hoodie or a black shirt, with black pants. there's nothing wrong with wearing dark colors, mark's just confused.

haechan ignored mark most of the day too. mark tried starting conversations but he'd just walk away or not listen.

mark saw him yelling at other students for no reason. you think the others wouldn't let haechan talk to them like that but that's not how it was. they'd do something nice for him, like pick his pen up from the floor, but haechan would just snap at them, saying he could do it himself.

he's clearly stressed, even mark can see that. haechan's taking out his anger on everyone that talks to him. mark has some common sense and decides to stay away from haechan for the rest of the day, while also trying to prevent others from saying anything to haechan.

︾

haechan pushes through the crowd as he walks to his last class. there's people telling him to slow down or what where he's going but he just ignores them. he doesn't want to talk to anyone.

all he can think about right now is taeil. his boss is getting even ruder and taeil will probably be fired, and that's the job taeil makes the most money at.

when he has time, haechan looks for open jobs with decent pay. he already has too but a third one wont hurt, right? he could be a dog walker or something else that won't take up too much of his time.

he noticed mark avoiding him today. haechan is assuming it's because of how he was acting towards anyone that spoke to him. it's not like haechan meant to snap at them, he's just in a bad mood and the happy theme for art class today definitely is not helping that.

haechan appreciates it though, mark staying away from him without haechan having to yell at mark to leave him alone. the whole day he's been preparing himself for when he gets home, expecting taeil to tell him that he was fired, then say some encouraging words so haechan doesn't worry.

that's what taeil did for haechan before haechan came out to his parents. he told haechan to not worry, that if his parents didn't accept them they don't deserve him, and that if it does go badly haechan and stay with him.

donghyuck has always looked up to taeil, ever since he was a child. he loved hearing taeil sing, he loved how passionate he was even though his parents didn't support his singing. if it wasn't for taeil, haechan would have never came out. he'd still be stuck in that hell house with a sad excuse for parents.

he then notices mark glancing at him, probably because this is the first time haechan can't draw anything. he's just sitting there staring at the paper, the theme was "something that brings joy" and you could do it whatever you wanted with that, as long as it had a happy aura.

there wasn't much time left in the class, he will have another day or two to finish though. he begins with sketching a moon, then the bell rings.

haechan leaves the classroom, mr.kim didn't say anything too him today. he probably could tell haechan was in a bad mood.

the walk home is more peaceful than normal. the sun is shining bright, but not to the point where it hurts your eyes. everything just looked prettier. haechan noticed that a house had gotten new flowers in their yard, they were all very vibrant colors and were pleasant to look at.

there isn't too many clouds in the sky, the ones there are a pure white, no signs of gray anywhere. he smiles at the few butterflies nearby, along with some squirrels rushing into trees at the sound of dogs barking.

he then reaches the apartment building. it's not the cleanest but haechan still loves it there.

then his heart sank. he saw taeil's car parked it's spot. taeil's never home at this time. he could notice the car from a mile away, it's old and not the cleanest but at least it works.

haechan's breathing quickens, the serene feeling he once had vanishing. haechan can hear his own heart beat as he slowly makes his way up the stairs. he's preparing what he'll say to taeil, or preparing himself for what taeil is going to say to him.

the only thing keeping him from breaking down on those steps is that he knows how strong taeil is. they will get through this, it will be okay, everything will be okay. taeil will say something motivational and make all haechan's worries go away, just like he always does.

when haechan reaches their front door he takes a deep breath and looks at the stickers on their door. it's a moon and sun, he smiles, sniffling from holding back his tears. he breaths slowly for a few more seconds, then pulls his key from his pocket and hesitantly unlocks the door.

he pushes the door opening, revealing a sight he never thought he'd ever see. haechan slams the door shut and throws his backpack across the small room and runs to taeil, who's huddled at the kitchen table. haechan can hear his whimpers and sniffles and starts breaking down himself.

"hyung hyung hyung." haechan grabs taeil's shoulders and shakes him while tears rapidly fall from his face. taeil slowly looks up, whipping away his tears.

"i'm sorry," he whispers. it's barely audible, his voice is broken.

"no hyung, it's not your fault," haechan cries, still sounding stern. haechan pulls the older boy into a hug, taeil immediately reacts, hugging him back.

they stayed that way for a while, not saying anything. it was peaceful, they wish their problems could just disappear.

haechan pulls away first. he steadies his breathing and speaks.

"have you told doyoung hyung?"

"i can't tell him. what would he think of me? i can't even keep a job oh my god." taeil shoves his face into his hands.

"hyung stop this shit! doyoung loves you! it's not your fault you got fired. you had some bitchass whore as a boss waiting for you to make one simple mistake to get rid of you," haechan cries. the rolls are reversed this time, haechan has to say something motivational to taeil and store his confidence.

"taeil, you'll get a new job, okay? one that pays even better and where you don't have a shitty boss." haechan tries his best, but he can't help worrying.

taeil takes a deep breath, then smiles. his eyes shiny from the tears.

"don't worry haechan-ah, it will be okay."

Chapter Text

    haechan just left his apartment, not forgetting to tell taeil to talk to doyoung today.

he also told taeil to rest, calm his mind. he doesn't need to get a new job too quickly, their next rent is more than three weeks away. he's not exactly sure taeil will listen to his advice, but he can hope.

today is going to be another horrible day at school. he wants taeil to rest but he can't help but be anxious. what if taeil can't find a new job that pays well? or something bad happens between taeil and doyoung? he doubts the second one would happen, they've been together for almost three years now.

haechan usually sees doyoung in the halls or during lunch, sitting with mark's other friends. they don't talk at school, but they are really close. when haechan first moved in with taeil, taeil didn't want to leave him alone too much, so doyoung would keep him company, or doyoung would come over so he could spend time with taeil.

as haechan is walking to his class he feels a light touch on his shoulder. at first he wasn't going to do anything and just keep walking, but he decided to turn around. he met eyes with a short girl he thinks he's seen in one of his classes.

"uh- your shoe is untied." the girl was clearly intimidated by haechan's natural rude glare.

haechan looked down and saw that his shoe was in fact untied. he just rolled his eyes and continued walking, unnecessarily pushing the girl with his shoulder in the process. the girl didn't chase after him, just stood in shock at his rudeness.

haechan hates people. seeing their stupid smiles while talking to their friends, or happily kissing their partner in the hallway like they have nothing to worry about. they don't understand the real world, filled with pain and sadness.

he relates more to the students standing by themselves blasting music through their headphones, but even they have friends. ones they smile with, joke around with, ones they can be themselves with. maybe it's just haechan that hates people, or perhaps he's just jealous.

jealous of the lives they get to live. not having to worry about paying rent or bills or if they'll have enough food for dinner.

jealous of the fact that they can live so carelessly because they have a family and friends that love them and help them through their struggles.

haechan is a perfect example that not everyone has people right behind them, ready to help him through anything. or maybe that's all in his mind, he has taeil, jeno, doyoung, and even mark. mark's the most surprising one on that list for him. even with all of haechan's random mood swings, mark has stayed by his side.

the saddest part is that he doesn't feel that his old friends care for him anymore. why should they? he left them, he let his emotions ruin their friendship.

it's not like haechan can afford a therapist, especially now. even when he lived with his parents they never cared, even when the doctor suggested for him to go to a therapist, they said he was fine and since he was a boy, he could get through it on his own.

haechan's been lost in his thoughts all day. he unintentionally snapped at anyone interrupting his sad mind. he doesn't understand why all his thoughts have to be depressing. what happened to the younger haechan, the one who didn't give a shit about anything, the reckless boy who always caused trouble with his friends. he doesn't know what happened.

it was like a switch in his mind suddenly changed when his parents kicked him out. saying his life fell apart is sort of an understatement, saying it shattered is much more accurate. it's in tiny pieces that he can't put back together.

right now it's haechan's free period. he's just sitting in the library when he gets an unexpected text from doyoung. he's asking haechan if they can talk. he's assuming it's about taeil, which means taeil didn't talk to doyoung even though he said he would.

haechan agrees to meet him in an empty classroom. they don't need people seeing them, the only one at school that knows they know each other is jeno, and they don't really want to explain how they know each other, plus, none of them know doyoung even has a boyfriend.

he goes to the room number doyoung sent him. it was on the second floor, in a far area where the lights weren't on and the light they had was from a large window. he steps into the room on his right and sees doyoung waiting for him.

there's a worried expression on his face, resulting in an overall anxious vibe in the empty room.

"what's wrong with taeil? please haechan, he won't talk to me," doyoung pleads the moment he sees haechan enter the class. haechan wants to tell him, he really does, he knows doyoung can and will help, as long as taeil lets him.

"i can't tell you," he whispers, looking down at his feet, "hyung would get mad at me. i'll convince him to talk to you."

"okay then you're doing that now." doyoung grabs haechan's arm and begins to drag him out of the class.

"what?" haechan plants his feet in the ground preventing doyoung from taking him any further.

"donghyuck i don't want to wait, i can't stand him not telling me what's wrong." doyoung sighs. haechan feels bad for him, he knows how much doyoung loves taeil, he realizes ore then taeil himself does.

"okay." haechan sighs, "now is fine."

doyoung smiles and lets go of haechan's wrist. he signs haechan out of school and they head to taeil and haechan's apartment.

taeil's car is still there, it's not like he'd really have anywhere to go. doyoung gets out his car quickly, urging haechan to do the same.

doyoung uses the spare key he has for their apartment and unlocks the door. he can see how shocked taeil is seeing him, but he should have expected this. haechan shuts the door behind them and watches as doyoung tries to comfort taeil and have him tell him whats wrong.

"please talk to doyoung-hyung," haechan says to taeil, nearing crying. he doesn't like seeing taeil upset, it makes him sad himself. he also knows doyoung can help, not just by getting taeil a new job but by making him happier.

haechan goes to their bedroom and decides to do his homework as an attempt to take his mind off of taeil. taeil's the closest thing he's ever had to an actual old brother.

︾

doyoung and taeil worked things out. taeil told doyoung everything and he will help. haechan's relieved though he already knew it would end like this.

right now he's on a walk. doyoung won't be able to find taeil a new job too quickly. the best haechan and do is get a small job and get a little money easily. he knows doyoung is borderline rich, but he still wants to contribute someone.

while he's walking he hears barking. which isn't too abnormal, there's a lot of dogs in this neighborhood.

when he looks where the barking is coming from he sees mark's mom with their dog not too far in front of him. when he reaches her they talk for a bit, nothing too important.

"i know you barely know us but could you babysit oliver friday? mrs.lee asks, "i'll pay you a decent amount."

haechan's surprised, but agrees. he actually enjoys spending time with the kid, along with their dog.

she then explained why she needed someone to watch oliver. apparently where mark's dad works is having some party and it wouldn't be good to bring a young child there, he'd be bored out of his mind.

after telling haechan a few more things, along with thanking him, mrs.lee and ninja head back home.

he doesn't think it's too important to tell taeil, he already thinks haechan's working too much and should focus more on school.

Chapter Text

friday came by pretty quickly. haechan still hasn't told taeil about him babysitting, it's not that big of a deal anyway. taeil will just feel bad that haechan's working so much, but haechan wants to.

today he's walking to class with mark. it's months into the school year and they still get weird looks, it's stupid. everyone genuinely cannot believe that someone wants to be friends with gloom boy.

mark is walking oddly close to him, causing their hands to occasionally graze over each other. from what haechan has felt, his hands are actually pretty soft, despite them not looking like they would be.

suddenly, someone slams into his side. he tumbles over but mark catches him, grabbing his waist from behind so he doesn't fall. haechan doesn't think much of the hands on his waist, he's too angry to really notice them anyway.

the kid who accidentally ran into him looks scared. haechan surprisingly looks really scary when angry. he keeps apologizing but haechan doesn't care, yelling random things at the kid, just taking out his anger even though it's not even the kid who caused it.

mark pulls him back. he grabs gloom boy by the shoulders and turns him so they are facing each other. mark looks him in the eyes as he tires to calm haechan down.

"calm down, anger is a temporary emotion."

"and a punch is only temporary pain," haechan mumbled. he's squeezing his fist so hard his fingers are turning white.

mark's hands on his shoulders are actually quite comforting and by his words it sees like he can tell being pushed isn't why haechan is angry.

the kid and his friend have already ran away. haechan releases a deep breath and takes a pencil out of his backpack. he snaps it in half, throws it in the trash and continues walking, feeling slightly better.

haechan's still squeezing his hand. mark looks down, wanting to grab it, thinking he can make haechan less stressed by holding it.

so he does.

mark intertwines their fingers, loving the warmth of the other's hand. the feeling sends a slight heat throughout his body. he can't help but smile. he wants to hold haechan's hand forever. walking on the beach at sunset while holding gloom boy's hand sounds like a paradise.

his ecstasy soon disappears. donghyuck harshly pulled his hand away, shoving it into the pocket of his pants.

mark frowned, but attempted to grab the boy's hand again.

"what are you doing?" haechan speaks with a low voice.

"your hand feels nice in mine."

haechan visibility cringes at mark's response.

he then grabs marks hands and drags him through the hall. they soon reach a door, haechan opens it, shoves mark inside and quickly shuts it.

"i know you want to kiss me so you might as well do it now."

mark's eyes widened. the room is dim, he can just barely see haechan in front of him, though the boy's smirk is very clear.

when mark doesn't reply haechan grabs him by the collar of his shirt. he brings their faces so close they can feel each other's breath lingering on their faces.

haechan leaned onto the wall behind him while pulling mark closer. almost instinctively, mark placed his hands on haechan's waist.

their faces are even closer now. donghyuck mumbles something before grabbing placing his hand on the back of mark's neck and pressing their lips together.

mark's hands start to wonder away from haechan's waist, moving under his shirt, caressing the soft skin near his hip bones. mark gasped when he felt haechan squeeze his ass. obviously, haechan used this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into mark's mouth.

moans and whines begin to fill the small room. everything moved so quickly, one second they were just making out and the next mark was attempting to ride haechan's thigh.

mark tightly griped onto haechan's shoulder's as he buckled his hips onto the boy's thigh. one of haechan's hands was gently placed on mark's waist while the other was still massaging his ass.

their breathing is uneven after not separating their lips for a while. mark wraps his arms around haechan's waist and untentionally moans right into the boy's ear.

"what the fuck are you doing? let go of me."

haechan, again, pulled his wrist out of mark's hold.

"go hold someone else's hand," he mumbles, then takes off, leaving mark behind.

︾

another daydream.

he's starting to think these are getting out of hand. he shouldn't be imagining himself of doing things like that.

"mark." he looks up hearing his name. he feels his face start to heat when he sees gloom boy standing in front of his desk.

the dark sweatpants he's wearing loosely hang around his thighs. instead of having his arms through the sleeves of his jacket, the item is just hanging off his shoulder's, unzipped. mark can clearly see haechan's waist and how his chest is built from the shirt that's tucked into his pants.

"yeah?"

"did your mom mention that i'm babysitting your little brother friday?" his hands grip the edge of the desk as he leans over towards mark.

"o-oh, yeah she did." mark slouches back into his seat as haechan became closer. he's getting flashbacks to his daydreams.

haechan grabs his waist so hard it could bruise. he lets his hands wonder, feeling all over haechan's body. mark's kissing all over haechan's chest, his nipples, his stomach, then down to his thighs.

"dude are you okay?" haechan laughs. he moves away from the desk and waves his hand in front of mark's face.

haechan's hair sticks to his forehead from sweating so much. his head is tilted back and his eyes are closed as mark continues to touch him all over.

mark gulps, nodding, cursing himself for having those thoughts.

"okay," haechan says, dragging out the "o". he then smirks and walks back to his seat.

without realizing mark releases a breath he had been holding in.

"holy shit," he whispers to himself, then runs his fingers through his hair.

looking around the classroom mark sees haechan talking to mr.kim. he can't help but wonder why donghyuck looks so fucking good.

it's not like the boy's wearing anything special. just a dark gray t-shirt tucked into his black sweatpants and the large, black jacket around his shoulder's.

mark just want's to cuddle with him. them holding each other's waists while brushing their noses together. showering him with small kisses all over his face as he giggles, showing off his precious smile.

︾

mark just puked.

his family just got home from a restaurant and they're assuming it was the food. he tries to convince his parents that he's fine but they don't care. they're forcing him to stay home.

his mother said haechan could take care of him, since he was already going to watch oliver.

groaning, he falls back onto the couch. his parents decided to leave early so they wouldn't get caught in traffic.

oliver is already going crazy. he's running around the house with ninja, almost breaking many things.

"mark! when will haechan get here?" he continuously jumps while pouting at his brother.

"mom said he'll be here soon," he mumbles, covering his face with the fluffy, pink blanket his mom had wrapped him in.

then the door bell rings, causing oliver's eyes to immediately widen. he rushes to the door and opens it without even checking who it was.

"haechan! haechan! the child sticks his arms up and jumps.

laughing, haechan lifts oliver up. he shuts the door and walks over to mark while oliver clings onto his back.

"aww is markie sick?" he teases.

"he is! momma said he was poisoned!" oliver gasped and smacked haechan's shoulders.

haechan laughed, then went to feel mark's forehead.

"wow, you're hot," haechan said, winking at mark, causing the boy go turn more red.

"he is? i wanna feel!" oliver climbed off of haechan's shoulders and put his small hands on his brother's forehead.

the young boy gasped, "he his hot!"

"i know!" haechan replied over dramatically, "do you want to help me make him something to eat?"

by help he means just pouring some soup into a bowl.

oliver nodded and they went to the kitchen. as the soup was cooking haechan filled a glass with ice and water, then headed over to mark.

"here," he said placing the cup on the desk beside mark.

"i'm not thirsty," mark mumbled.

"just fucking drink it, goddamn." haechan doesn't feel like explaining why mark should drink water right now.

his words worked though, mark pouted like a baby as he pressed the glass against his lips. he took a sip and placed the cup down and looked up to haechan.

"happy?"

"yes, very." haechan smiled. "good boy," he said, patting mark's head and walking back to the kitchen.

︾

most of the night mark just laid there, watching haechan play with his little brother.

it was adorable. haechan would pretend to be the evil dragon while oliver was the hero, or they'd play something on the wii.

haechan looked so happy. running around the house with ninja as oliver chased them, picking up the boy and swinging him in a circle. the whole time he had the biggest smile on his face.

mark thinks he's finally understanding why he's called haechan, fullsun. his smile lights up the room like how the sun shines onto the world.

mark notices how haechan's skin always glows under light, especially sunlight. haechan is just ethereal, mark finds everything about him so beautiful.

everything from how he speaks, his talents, down to how his nose scrunches while he's laughing. mark could admire him forever, just watching him paint or just sitting on a bench in a beautiful forest.

donghyuck is his sun. he feels as if his life is complete when he has haechan, theres something just pulling him to haechan, something telling him to never leave haechan, no matter what happens.

︾

"mark." haechan gently grabs the boy's shoulders and shakes him awake.

"it'd probably be more comfortable for you to sleep in your bed, c'mon i already put oli to bed," haechan said, seeing mark's eyes slowly open. he holds his hand out for mark so he can lead the boy to his bedroom.

mark just whines, shoving his face into the blanket covering him.

"mark," haechan groans, slightly annoyed but still looking at the boy in awe.

the sick boy just shakes his head.

haechan sighs, "i'll just carry you there then."

mark doesn't have any time to process what haechan just said. before he knows it the warmth of the blanket is replaced with haechan's arms.

donghyuck holds him bridal style, his arm's under the boy's legs and around his back.

mark feels haechan's fingers graze over his skin, barely touching his lower thigh. mark shivers at the touch, leaning onto haechan's chest.

he hears haechan chuckle, then he's dropped, falling onto his soft bed. mark lets out a long breath feeling the cushioning on his back.

"goodnight," haechan says, ruffling mark's hair.

mark watches haechan slowly get closer to his door. well, not actually slowly, for some reason it seems like haechan is walking in slow motion, as if mark is supposed to say something to get him to stop moving.

"wait." mark doesn't know what made him do it. his breathing quickens. he can feel his heart start to race.

"stay," he says, his voice shaky, as if he's nervous, "please."

haechan faces mark, not moving. for a few seconds he just stood there. mark swears he could hear his own heart beating in the silence.

then, haechan moves. he slowly closes the door to mark's room and walks over to the boy's bed.

the room is fairly dark, the only light is the glow from the tv playing mark's nighttime playlist.

reaching mark, haechan gently places his hand on mark's forehead, slowly moving to run his fingers through mark's hair.

"you're such a baby," haechan laughs. "you're skin and hair are so soft."

haechan feels mark's face start to heat up at the comment. seeing the small smirk on haechan's face, mark turned around so he was no longer facing him.

"don't be like that, you're the one who asked me to stay," haechan said, pouting, even though mark couldn't see.

he climbs into the bed, laying beside mark. their legs touch, sending shivers through their body's.

it feels as if there's an external force pushing haechan, something telling him to move closer, a wrap his arms around mark's small waist.

for a while he just stares at mark's back, he's wearing a large shirt but you can still see how his shoulders are fairly broad. haechan reaches his hand out, softly touching the back of mark's neck, causing him to flinch.

"i barely even touched you," haechan laughs, then replaces the gentle touch from the tips of his fingers with his whole hand. he smirks noticing mark trying to cover his face.

he finally gives into the urge he has to hold mark, reaching his arm out and pulling mark to him by his waist, their body's now pressed against each other.

haechan grabs mark's chin so softly that the boy could definitely move away if he wanted to. he taps mark's face, signaling for him to turn his head. at first he hesitates, then faces donghyuck.

haechan doesn't like mark. he just likes teasing him. the butterflies he feels when he sees the boy's face mean nothing.

the way his heart swells seeing mark look up at him with puppy like eyes means nothing.

his hand on mark's waist means nothing.

his hand holding gently holding mark's face means nothing.

him hovering over mark, their face's centimeters apart, means nothing.

his lips, now attached to mark's,

does not mean anything.

Chapter Text

  being under haechan was not what mark expected he would be doing tonight.

he thought he would have been in some giant, gold colored room with a bunch of rich businessmen congratulating his dad and asking when he's taking over the company.

it's quite cliché but he really doesn't want to. but here's the difference, his parents know, and don't mind too much. they still have oliver and if he doesn't want to do it either, then oh well. they just want their kids to be happy.

not the best time to be thinking about family as someone is literally palming him through his pants and leaving dark marks across his skin. that person obviously being donghyuck.

maybe they're just horny. or this is another one of mark's daydreams, though it feels a little too real be one.

before mark realizes, he's now the one over haechan. he doesn't really know what to do, he connects his lips to haechan's, holds one of his hands, and has his other hand tracing the skin by haechan's hip bone.

haechan grabs the back of his neck, pulling mark closer as he runs his fingers through his hair.

︾

mark jolts up. his breathing is heavy, then hitches seeing haechan beside him.

he isn't sure weather what happened last night is a dream or not, and he definitely isn't ready to find out.

slowly, he turns his head back to haechan, who is peacefully sleeping on his back. his clothes are on, which is a good sign, but his neck is covered with red marks.

mark's eyes widen. he quickly, but quietly, gets out of his bed and rushes to his bathroom. looking in the mirror he sees how disheveled his hair is, along with the hickeys all over his neck and collarbone.

the markings bring back memories of last night. he doesn't know how it happened. one minute they were just laying in his bed the next haechan's lips were on his neck.

it's 7:38am. mark's alarm goes off in twelve minutes, he could just turn it off, so he has more time to think of what he'll say to haechan. but it's not like he can avoid speaking to haechan, the boy will eventually wake up.

there is the choice that mark goes back in the bed and pretends to be asleep until haechan wakes up, assuming that haechan will leave immediately after he wakes up.

before he knows it, it's 7:49. one minute and his alarm with ring throughout the room and haechan will awaken. within the few seconds that mark has, he could turn off the alarm, but can he do it without making enough noise to wake up haechan.

making the decision on the whim, he rushes back to the bed, being as light on his feet as he possibly can so he doesn't make a sound.

the bed squeaks as it dents from mark's weight. he lays on his stomach, hiding his face in the pillow. his breathing is heavy, the silence making him anxious as he's waiting for the alarm to blare.

mark swears he can hear his heart beating, the deep sound taking over his mind. he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to force his nerves into a void.

then he freezes. the alarm spreads throughout the room. the mattress begins to squeak again, this time from haechan sitting up and stretching his arms into the sky.

everything is still for a moment, not a sound is being made. haechan is looking at mark, pondering over what he should do.

mark, on the other hand, was panicking. he's completely clueless of what's about to happen.

hearing haechan climb off the bed, mark thought that was a good sign. he thought haechan was going to grab his stuff and leave.

that idea changes once he feels a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake. mark flinches, turning around to see haechan standing beside the bed as he smirks at mark's flustered face.

"you okay dude? your face is pretty red."

mark's eyes widened, "y-yeah, yeah! i'm fine, completely fine!" he stammered, causing haechan to giggle at how adorable he is.

"also, could you uh, not call me dude?"

"why?" haechan said, tilting his head, acting as if he doesn't know exactly what mark means.

"i don't see why i can't call you dude. would you prefer bro? man? or maybe darling? would you like that?" haechan asks, slowly shortening the distance between them.

mark tries to back away though he just bumps into the bedframe. donghyuck places a hand on the mattress beside mark's waist, moving even closer towards him.

closing his eyes, mark doesn't know what to expect. then he hears the soft sound of haechan chuckling.

"you're cute, y'know." he grins, then ruffles mark's hair before backing away.

before mark can say anything, his bedroom door bursts open. revealing oliver, who rushes into the room and jumps on top of his brother.

"good morning mark!" he exclaims, then gasps, "haechan is still here!" he smiles widely and jumps into the boy's arms.

"mark hyung," oliver whines, "i'm hungry." he then climbs out of haechan's arms to go pull on his brother's shirt.

"yeah mark hyung," haechan smirks, "we're hungry," he says, mocking the child's tone and pouting at mark.

"what am i supposed to do about that?"

"uhh make us food dummy," oliver says, flicking his brother's forehead before rushing out the room.

"yeah, make us food darling." haechan smirks, winking at mark, and then holds his hand out for mark to grab, though he doesn't hold it.

"in a minute," mark whispers. he didn't mean to whisper, it was just the loudest he could be without stuttering from haechan's stare.

donghyuck nods, maintaining eye contact with mark. then he walks out of the bedroom.

the second the door shuts mark lets out a breath, falling back onto his bed.

how is gloom boy so different outside of school.

it's confusing.

because for some reason this isn't fully shocking. it's not as if this is completely unusual for haechan to do. and mark doesn't know why it feels that way.

perhaps it's just mark, still in a haze from his daydreams- and last night.

he doesn't even know how it happened.

maybe asking haechan to stay was a mistake. the second those words left his mouth it was as if he flicked a switch in donghyuck.

a cocky smirk was plastered on face. and mark loved it.

he's not sure whether that's a good thing or not. even after knowing gloom boy for a few months, he doesn't know him that well.

haechan's constantly masking his emotions. mark can't tell how he really feels.

his first thought is to hope that whatever happened last night was donghyuck's real feelings escaping. maybe it's stupid to think that. though it's not like mark really cares about that part.

it's not like he thinks of winning over haechan as a challenge. he just knows feelings don't go away easily and suppressing them isn't the best thing to do. he might as well just follow his heart.

even if that leads to it breaking.

heartbreak is something everyone goes through, it's an inevitable occurrence. life is filled of sadness, anger, and other horrible emotions. but that's just how it is.

to mark, haechan seems like the person to avoid their emotions. beating them down until he feels nothing, just numbness.

that thought saddens him. he feels everyone should know what love feels like.
whether it's romantic or platonic.

mark sees the world as everyone has a soulmate, or soulmates. their best friend and the one person that they can never fall out of love with. sometimes that's the same person.

mark knows haechan has at least one close friend, jeno. that's good enough, he knows that there's at least one person that's always been there for him.

mark doesn't get to see his platonic soulmate anymore, though they still talk everyday.

knowing that gloom boy can always see his best friend is comforting to mark. the love he feels for the boy is just wanting him to be happy, ever since he first laid his eyes on haechan.

being a lover to him would be ideal, but mark doesn't want to force anything.

being just friends is enough for mark.

and with that, he finally leaves his bedroom. thinking he is ready to face haechan again.

he now knows it's not another stupid daydream, it's real.

he might not understand, but for now he will enjoy the moment, for he doesn't know how long this feeling will last.

Chapter Text

  haechan fucked up.

he doesn't know why he did it.

it's like his past self's confidence broke through the no longer invincible walls he built around himself.

he doesn't like mark.

he doesn't like anyone.

what happened almost twenty four hours ago, meant nothing. he just wasn't feeling well, yeah that's it. mark got him sick and it got to his head.

"aish haechan," he mumbles to himself.

"you can't think of a better excuse than that?"

he groans as he falls back onto his mattress. his first thought being that it's no where near as comfortable as mark's bed. the soft mattress made haechan want to stay there for hours.

now he won't even be able to look mark in the eyes. all he can do is hope mark doesn't take anything too seriously. he doesn't want to hurt anyone else.

on the other hand, mark really had this coming for him. he should've took everyone's at advice and stayed away from him.

it's his fault.

but haechan can't help but feel guilty.

he rarely feels bad for the people he hurts, why is mark different?

perhaps, it's because he never actually did anything to make haechan want to push him away. mark never did anything wrong. he just doesn't know haechan as well as he thinks he does.

all mark did was be his friend.

maybe that was too much.

the last thing donghyuck wants to happen is for him to have another outburst. a repeat of last time would just be terrible.

he'll just skip the outburst this time, so he doesn't hurt anyone's feelings again.

he'll go straight to self isolation. not speaking to anyone but taeil and jeno, the only two people who sort of understand him.

sort of understanding is better than nothing. at least they don't judge him. his old friends tried not to be awkward, though it didn't really work.

at least they tried.

haechan didn't. well, he doesn't know what to consider trying anymore.

there's no point in trying to get his old friends back. they've all moved on. they don't need haechan coming back in their lives and him unintentionally throwing his life problems at them.

it always happens. no matter how hard haechan tries to hide everything, people always find out. whether it's by accident or haechan telling them, it always happens.

now he's back to stage one. before he met mark. though mark doesn't exactly know that.

it's likely he'll try to break down haechan's walls again. though he won't succeed this time.

donghyuck doesn't want to be rude to mark. but he needs mark to stay away from him, and that might be the only thing that will work.

first, he'll try to get mark away without letting his anger take control.

though, eventually, the anger will break through.

it always does.

not always in the same way.

sometimes it's when he feels so many emotions that he just can't hold himself together anymore, it drives him crazy.

there's also when he's numb. the numbness slowly turning into anger, cries of "why don't i feel anything?" and "i just want to be loved" ring through his mind, giving him one of the worst headaches. he begins to snap at everyone, not knowing what else he could do to rid himself of any emotion.

he doesn't know if there's any others, and honestly he doesn't want to discover them.

haechan tries to stay at peace with his mind. being calm and not showing any signs of any emotion.

but there will alway be those feelings that can slip through his walls.

︾

haechan looks sadder than normal.

probably a weird thing to say about someone he nicknamed gloom boy.

it's only subtle things but mark clearly notices them. he sees haechan getting worse grades, not doing his work, trudging through the hallways like he's walking through a sand storm. the sand storm being whatever it is that's making him more depressed.

gloom boy looks like he will collapse and fall asleep at any minute. his hand isn't moving, though his eyes are glued to the paper in front of him. possibly sleeping with his eyes open.

mark frowns. he rips off a small piece of paper from his notebook and draws on it. the result was a cute face with "fighting!!" written in the corner.

leaning over, he places the drawing on haechan's desk and waits for his reaction.

nothing.

gloom boy looks at it for a single second.

his face stayed still. showing his signature emotionless expression.

mark already misses his smile. he loved being the reason haechan was smiling.

it's been almost a week since he's seen that smile.

he doesn't want to bother gloom boy more than he already has, in fear that he will just make things worse.

︾

mark's really trying.

it's so unexpected to haechan, though so predictable at the same time.

what could the boy see in him. there's nothing special about haechan. he's just another sad student wondering around campus. you'll likely find someone just like him if you look hard enough.

so why haechan?

out of all the people mark could choose to befriend, why haechan?

he could have stayed with the popular kids, lucas' friends, or anyone else.

but mark chose him.

mark confuses him.

︾

mark doesn't know what he expected. it's like he's never even met haechan.

he fucked up. he never should've asked haechan to stay. he should've just let him leave the room.

haechan won't even look at him.

mark's assuming he got too clingy. he doesn't want to give up on gloom boy yet.

he's still captivated by those eyes.

they say,

"eyes are the windows to one's soul"

if that's true, haechan has the most beautiful soul mark's ever seen. he could stare into haechan's eyes forever. hoping he can learn to read the boy's emotions.

︾

haechan would be lying if he says he doesn't slightly enjoy mark's company.

the boy's like a happy virus.

that's what people used to call haechan, a happy virus, bringing joy to everyone he crossed paths with.

now, he's the complete opposite.

he looks up to mark for being able to be that way. it's tough always having a smile on your face.

because the second you're upset your friends don't know how to react. it's like they're hit with a wave of shock, shock that you too, have actual human emotions and aren't the happy person you pretend to be.

haechan got tired of pretending.

maybe mark isn't pretending.

︾

it's been so long since gloom boy has spoken.

mark misses his voice, his laughter.

haechan didn't laugh often, but when he did it was really loud. though he would quickly stop himself. those few seconds of laughing are enough to make mark's heart flutter.

haechan's old friends are all in music related clubs. it makes mark wonder if haechan used to do those things with them.

he wants to hear haechan sing. he's seen haechan sketch many music related drawings, so he's assuming it's not just visual arts that haechan loves.

he seems like the type of person to be good at everything, while also being very passionate about their talents.

mark his words, one day he will have haechan sing for him.

︾

three weeks.

that's how long it's been since haechan began staying away from mark.

it isn't working.

it's like they're drawn to each other.

haechan hates it.

he wishes that mark never spoke to him, or that he never gave into mark's kindness.

he doesn't understand why mark cares for him so much. he hasn't done anything for the boy.

it feels like mark only acts this way out of pity. he feels bad that everyone just thinks donghyuck's a depressed loner.

they're not wrong.

donghyuck would describe himself as something similar to that. "haechan" doesn't really seem to fit his personality anymore.

he doesn't brighten everyone's day.

he doesn't mess around with the pure goal being to be to make his friends laugh.

he doesn't do anything anymore.

his younger, bubbly self is gone.

︾

mark can't take it anymore.

he misses donghyuck too much.

during 1st period he drew a small flower on haechan's paper, remembering how last time he made a whole forest around the flower.

this time haechan just erased it.

mark would be lying if he said that didn't sting a bit. the way he barely even glanced at the drawing but erased it with no hesitation.

it's like everything he does is wrong. he can't seem to get it right with haechan.

one mistake after another.

maybe this is fate telling him to leave donghyuck alone.

fuck fate.

it's all bullshit.

mark isn't going to let anyone cut the thread holding him and haechan together.

he gets a feeling he's never felt before when with haechan.

euphoria. like he's on the top of the world. sitting in a cloud as the sunsets and he looks over the world.

he hopes haechan feels the same.

Chapter Text

haechan never realized how much he interacted with mark everyday. at first he didn't think ignoring mark would change anything. now, he's definitely realizing he was wrong.

it's so weird. he doesn't remember the last time he's actually wanted to be around someone that isn't taeil or jeno.

it's disgusting. why would he feel this way about someone? and mark out of all people?

he hates that he misses mark.

he's really beginning to miss his previous emotionless feelings. sometimes, feeling nothing is better than dealing with the weight of your emotions.

everything's just been so stressful for haechan recently.

the one time he actually tries speaking to his old friends is when his life starts to fall apart again. funny.

he actually enjoys hanging out with them, even though he doesn't do much. just observes and thinks about what he would do if he hadn't messed up their friendship years ago.

it's likely he'd be very loud. screaming all the time, randomly singing. trying his best to annoy his friends to the max.

donghyuck misses when he was like that.

why can't he just be happy?

it's like world has something against him. cursed him to never be able to feel true happiness again.

he's currently sitting on the roof of jeno's house. taeil has a night shift for his new job today and haechan didn't want to spend the night alone, obviously jeno's family gladly let him stay at their place.

it's been a while since they had an actual sleepover together. with jeno meeting jaemin, and haechan dealing with his personal stuff, they just never got around too it. he forgot how much fun sleepovers can be.

at first they were messing around in the attic, which jeno's father turned into a game room when they were younger.

haechan remembers helping clean the room, bringing the furniture in, and even picking the snacks that went in the mini frigid.

with his old group of friends jeno's attic was the hangout spot. whether they played video games, boardgames or any other random activity they thought of to entertain themselves.

one year, on haechan's 14th birthday, they all threw a surprise party for him in the attic. they decorated, got a cake, planned out games and everything. that was the last time he enjoyed his birthday.

his 18th birthday is still a couple months away, seven to be exact. thinking about it, he isn't exactly happy with how he's spent his teen years so far.

when he was younger he expected himself to be causing chaos with his best friends. that only lasted freshmen year.

time has been moving quickly since then.
the past three and a half years just flew by.

three and a half years of his life basically wasted. he has no clue of what he actually wants to do with his life, he most likely isn't going to college, unless he magically gets a scholarship with practically all accommodations paid for like taeil did. but he isn't as smart as taeil.

"haechan! can you grab these so i can climb back on the roof?"

haechan turns to see hands, moving up and then quickly moving back down. jeno's jumping on the balcony on the second floor to get haechan's attention.

"sure," haechan yells, then begins walking towards the edge of the roof. he leans over and grabs the soda's and snacks jeno had gotten from the attic, then heads back to the middle.

"ahh, this is nice isn't it? just us sitting on my roof at 7:00pm, just like old times. you know-"

"what do you want?" haechan asks, interrupting jeno, knowing that he's going to ask him for something by the way he began rambling.

"psh, i don't want anything, just enjoying the night y'know. the cold air blowing in your face just feels really nice."

"i'm not a dumbass, spit it out bitch."

jeno just awkwardly smiled. donghyuck gave him the, "you better tell me right now" look.

jeno took a deep breath, "okay dude, before you say anything i know you probably don't want to talk about this but since i'm your best friend you have to tell me, what's up with you and mark?"

he spoke quickly. when finished jeno's face showed just how badly he wanted to know.

"i don't know what you mean," haechan replied, opening his can of lime soda. he took a sip and stared off into the sunset.

"then look me in the eyes and tell me that," jeno said, not having it. he's tired of haechan closing himself off from others.

haechan sighed, then turned to his friend. he gulped the second they made eye contact, he's scared jeno will be able to read how he really feels. nervousness flowed through his body. he began to rapidly tap on the roof.

slowly, haechan began to speak.

"there," he took a deep breath, "is nothing going on with me and mark." in the middle of his sentence he looked away, he can't stand lying to jeno.

"hyuck," jeno said with a stern voice.

"god i don't want to talk about it!" haechan snapped, smashing his soda can onto the roof out of anger. the liquid now dripping from his hand and leg, while also flowing along the ceramic tiles. causing the grey color it is to turn darker.

jeno didn't react to the outburst. he didn't even flinch. standing up to face donghyuck he speaks again.

"do you want to repeat last time? because that's what it looks like? have you really not learned anything these past years!" jeno slowly lost his temper while speaking, becoming more aggressive with each word as he fights the tears about to spill from his eyes.

"i can't just sit back and watch you fall part again! i'm your best friend! you should be able to tell me anything! do you really not see me that way?!" jeno shouted. the tears started to fall as he face became red. facing his head down he tensed, squeezing his eyes shut.

"do i mean anything to you?" he wept, stuttering with nearly every word.

haechan stood there, a straight face, staring at his sobbing friend. of course he thinks of jeno as his best friend, does it really seem that he doesn't care?

haechan's a terrible person. letting his own personal problems mess with his relationships. but he still doesn't know how to show jeno that he does care. and obviously standing in silence is not the way.

he doesn't want to cry. he's been crying too much recently. but he feels the tears start to slip down his cheeks.

his best friend thinks he hates him.

he made jeno cry.

all he wants is to jump off this roof and end everything.

"jeno," haechan stuttered. just saying the boy's name was enough for him to break down. haechan sobs, continuously
whipping his face with his sleeves. his eyes are puffy and his whole face is red. rubbing the snot off his nose, haechan looks up at jeno.

"i'm sorry." it's all he can say. no words can express how haechan feels at this moment. so many thoughts are going through his head. he just wants to scream.

"i don't want to cause you any trouble."

"argh haechan! you opening up to me isn't a bother! get that out of your head!"

"i'm sorry." haechan looks down in shame as he fidgets with his fingers.

jeno pulls haechan into a hug. they hold each other tighter than they ever had in the past.

"stop apologizing," jeno mumbles into haechan's shoulder. "just promise me something, yeah? don't hide things from me anymore."

hesitating, haechan nods. he fidgets with his sleeves, pulling them over his cold hands, then hugs jeno even tighter.

︾

the weekend passed a little too quickly for mark's liking. school just isn't as enjoyable as it used to be. it's like he doesn't even exist through haechan's eyes.

well, he still has his friends. lucas, johnny, you know, that group. they're actually quiet nice as you get to know them. though they're also really loud.

mark just stares at his food. poking it with chopsticks as he ponders about life.

"yo mark! you good? you haven't moved an inch for the past five minutes," johnny says, waving his hand in front of mark's face.

"huh? oh i'm fine uh, just tired y'know."

johnny laughed, "okay, well you should eat your food inside of staring at it like a sexual predator, if not i'll eat when you're not looking." he jokingly winks then changes his focus back to ten, who's sitting at his other side.

"where's hendery and yangyang?" xiaojun asked, noticing they they weren't there.

"who fucking knows, they've been coming to lunch late a lot recently," yuta responded.

"probably getting scolded by a teacher or something," kun mumbles, then takes a sip of his milk.

"wait, doyoung and jaehyun aren't here either."

"i think jaehyun mentioned something about helping taeyong with stuff for the student government. doyoung though? no idea."

"what're y'all talking about?" a sudden voice says. mark turns and sees yangyang, with hendery standing behind him. it's clear that they ran here, both appear out of breath and have sweat dripping from their foreheads.

"not important, why do you guys look like you just ran a marathon?"

the two boy's eyes widen, they look at each other then back at their friends.

hendery was about to speak but yangyang cut him off, "coach made us run laps, that fucking bitch," he says, rolling his eyes as he sits beside ten.

hendery looked confused, or maybe it's just that he's exhausted.

"dude, you just gonna stand there?" yangyang says, noticing that hendery was still just standing there.

he mumbles no, then sits beside yukhei. hendery stares at yangyang for a few seconds before starting a conversation with lucas.

︾

it's finally art, the last class of the day. which would be a happy thing if the air conditioning was working. after lunch it went out in almost the entire school.

for their assignment mr.kim had the students make paper fans. which actually helped a lot.

everyone has taken their jacket or layers off except for haechan. he's still in the gray jacket he wears everyday. he pulls the sleeves over one hand while is other hand fans his sweating face.

anyone would wonder why he hasn't taken the jacket off. or maybe mark is just nosy. being the nosy person he is, mark went and asked haechan.

"why haven't you taken your jacket off?"

haechan looks up to mark, at his jacket, then back to mark, "it's hot but not that hot, i'm fine."

he look completely unbothered. other than the fact that he clearly wanted mark to go away.

and with that, mark goes back to his seat, not wanting to pry at the boy anymore.

Chapter Text

saying haechan is angry would be an overstatement. his emotions are just really strong right now. he doesn't know how else to deal with it, like everyday.

the only other way to let everything out would be to just start crying on the spot, obviously haechan doesn't want to do that.

despite not talking to mark much the past few weeks, haechan has caught the boy staring at him a little more than a few times.

it's stupid of him to miss haechan. mark shouldn't want to be involved with his life. and haechan doesn't want anyone else meddling in his life.

you can't just walk into haechan's life normally, you have to somehow fit into it. right now mark doesn't have a place in haechan's life, and he may never have one.

but that's just how it is. two people cross paths, interact a bit, then leave each other's lives and never speak again.

some people happen to have only a minor effect on you. that's just how it is. you can't change it. everything already has a set fate, whether you believe it or not.

at least school is almost over. that's all haechan can be happy about right now, besides the fact that taeil got a new job last week.

doyoung helped a lot actually. he supports taeil emotionally better than haechan ever could. him having a lot of money also helped a bit.

then the bell rings, like usual haechan leaves the class first and heads to mr. kim's classroom.

everyday feels the same. it's exhausting doing the same thing every single day. he can't tell if that's what's constantly irritating him or that he's just a naturally bitchy person.

it's not like he will see all these people once he graduates anyway. they're all just side characters in his life. how haechan sees it is that there's no reason for him to try to befriend anyone. they'll eventually leave him anyway, the memories aren't worth the pain of getting attached to someone and having them leave you.

today, something different happens. unlike his usual, uninterrupted walk to his last class, someone tapped his shoulder, specifically jeno, with his friends standing behind him. with the brightest smile, jeno asked haechan to hangout with them tonight.

haechan couldn't reject his offer, and he actually didn't want to. maybe this can be the beginning of a new chapter in haechan's life. when things start falling into place, leading to where he can finally be happy again.

he nods as his response, fighting back a smile when he noticed the whole group in front of him started grinning.

this small interaction changed something in haechan. suddenly making him want to get his life back on track. though this motivation can and will be crushed easily.

when he continues walking to his class, haechan feels like he's walking on a cloud. all the students giving him weird looks just disappeared. he feels lighter, as if a weight was lifted of his shoulders.

down a different hallway is mark, not feeling the best. he's dragging his feet along the floor as a trio follows behind him, wanting to know what's got him so depressed.

"c'mon mark~ why won't you talk to us," chuu pouts, tugging on his arm.

"it's nothing," mark mumbles.

"mark," jungwoo whined, "just tell us what's wrong."

the said boy sighed, "i can't"

sicheng titled his head, "why?"

"it's personal," mark still mumbled, then continued walking towards his class.

the "woowoowin" trio sighed, they didn't want to bother mark anymore but also wanted to help him.

"mark! why don't you hang out with us after school?" chuu yelled, in hopes of cheering up mark, even if it's just a little.

"we'll see!" he responded, turning around for a second before rushing into mr. kim's class the second the bell rang.

outside the class, jungwoo, jiwoo, and winwin, panicked. they were so caught up on cheering mark up they forgot about going to their class. the three of them then run down the halls, hoping they won't get in trouble.

back in the class, mark is relieved that he isn't late. he deeply sighs as he sits in a desk, not by haechan.

haechan was weird today. ruder than usual, and that's saying something. mark was just confused. everything about gloom boy confused him. he wishes he could understand what goes on in the boys mind.

since it's a friday, and mr. kim is the chillest teacher ever, art class was pretty calm today. it's the end of the week- mr. kim knows all the teenagers just want to go home, and sleep, most likely.

across the classroom, mark saw haechan drawing. he's using that same notebook he had when he and mark first met.

because of the distance mark can't depict what he's drawing, though mark still knows its amazing. haechan really has a talent for this stuff.

the final bell of the day rings, it was sort of unexpected to mark, he was so focused on the anime he was watching he didn't even notice the time.

when he looks up after putting his phone into his pocket, he sees that haechan's already gone. well, it's not like he's in the mood to talk to mark today anyway.

mark sighs walking out the classroom. he just wants to fix things with haechan, so they can go back to how they were the first weeks of school. yes, haechan barely spoke to him, but that doesn't matter.

he contemplates the whole situation, trying his best to understand everything.

that's when mark realizes, he really knows nothing about donghyuck.

he's so caught up with someone he doesn't even know. they've been "friends" for a few months now, but mark knows nothing about the other.

even small things such as his birthday, favorite color, or favorite song. they're all a mystery for mark.

haechan isn't any different from the other depressed kids, so why is mark so attached to him?

as mark walks out of school, he mumbles to himself. he then notices a boy from his math class, lee jeno, mark thinks.

from what mark has heard, him and haechan are really close. mark bites his lip seeing jeno walk over to a boy, deciding whether or not he talk to jeno. they've never really had a conversation before, besides that one lunch a while ago.

fuck it. mark whispers to himself.

"excuse me, but-" mark starts, once he reaches jeno.

"oh! you're mark right? whatcha need?" jeno said, his eyes turning to crescents as he smiles.

"well, uh," mark stutters, thinking of what to say say, "i- you know- haechan." is all he can get out.

jeno tilted his head, though he thinks he knows what mark means. "come with me."

"by guys!" jeno says, waving to his friends before he brings mark to a bench.

they both sit down, it's an awkward feeling until jeno speaks.

"so... what about haechan?"

"he's been acting, weird, you could say," mark answers, looking at jeno, hoping he understands.

jeno sighs, "like ruder than he normally his weird? or something else?"

"first one."

jeno nods. he starts thinking, wondering if he should tell mark anything.

"why is he so mean to me? i just want to be friends with him," mark sulked.

that caught jeno's attention. he may not know exactly what's going with them but he knows mark isn't a shitty person.

"that's just how haechan is, he's scared of caring for people so when someone shows any kind of affection towards him he freaks out and starts snapping at them." jeno doesn't know why he's telling mark this. he really shouldn't be. it will be okay right?

"but he's not like that with you?" mark questions. he's seen with jeno. actually smiles, laughs, looks happy.

jeno laughs, "you don't know anything."

mark tilts his head.

"haechan and i have known each other our whole lives, we're more like brothers at this point. all you need to know is that he doesn't hate you," jeno pats mark's shoulder and shows off his signature eye smile.

"i've gotta go now, my friends are waiting. see ya tomorrow." and with that jeno left, not letting mark ask anymore questions.

haechan doesn't hate him? yeah, very believable. he honestly can't tell if jeno is just fucking with him or not. he wouldn't do that right?

haechan was the rudest he'd ever been today. it's really hard to believe that gloom boy isn't developing any type of hatred towards him.

pushing mark in the halls, slamming the door in his face, ignoring every single word he said, calling mark "a nuisance" and begging him to "shut the hell up."

that was a little much for haechan. mark's just confused, well when is he not when it's anything that involves haechan.

︾

haechan can't believe he actually accepted jeno's offer to hang out. there's no going back now.

as he's picking out what to wear, taeil sits in the kitchen, working on some essay for college. he's always working hard.

haechan walks out their bedroom with an old leather jacket on, catching taeil's attention.

"oooo, are you finally going out for once?" taeil teased. he hasn't seen haechan "dress up" for a while now, it's refreshing, like donghyuck is slowly finding himself again.

"shut up," haechan mumbled, looking at his phone.

"jeno's here, i might spend the night with him, i don't know yet. text you later, bye!" haechan spoke quickly then rushed out their apartment, leaving taeil with no time to say anything.

the air outside is cold. the sky is slowly becoming darker as the night grows. he looks down the balcony to see jeno with his mom's mini van.

haechan smiles. a genuine smile. for now, he's going to set aside all his worries and problems.

the window of the car rolls down, jeno pokes his head out, yelling to haechan to hurry up.

finally, a normal moment in haechan's story. no sadness, no fear, just him and his friends.

he hops into the car, right behind the driver's seat where jeno was, with jaemin beside him. they've never hung out like this before. it's the first time haechan's going somewhere with his friends without an adult there at all. it's intoxicating, he already wants to do this more.

"where are we going?" haechan asked as jeno pulled out of the small complex.

"remember that arcade by the beach? ocean's chamber?"

haechan nodded. he wasn't able to hold back his smiles. it's been years since he's gone there. a small arcade, sea monster themed. laser tag called "shark attack" and a ropes course named after the deepest ocean canyon, "the challenger deep."

it's a just simple arcade. the memories are what makes it so special to haechan. one of them being how he and jeno met one of their best friends, renjun. they were only twelve, and renjun was a beast at laser tag- he still is too.

jeno and haechan congratulated renjun on winning so easily in a game against nine other people. they then proceeded to spend the rest of the day together, it all blossomed from there.

driving to the arcade wasn't awkward at all, surprising all three of them. haechan was belting out high notes just as he would at when he was fourteen.

randomly dancing, sticking his head out the window like a dog, pretending to kiss jaemin in attempt to make jeno jealous. haechan's so happy. relaxed, carefree- whatever you want to call it. all that matters is; he feels fourteen again. the feeling likely won't last as long as haechan wants it too, but at least it's here for now.

by the time they reached the arcade it took them five minutes to even get out the car. a song came on and haechan insisted on listening to all of it (it was cheer up by twice, who would be able to resist that song?).

renjun, chenle, and jisung were already inside when the other three entered. it was shocking for them to see haechan laughing so hardly with jeno and jaemin. leaving them confused, but also relieved. they miss haechan so much.

the group talked for a bit then went to get their game cards— renjun and chenle both didn't need a new one since they're here all the time.

two seconds later they're running to the other side of the arcade. this was the result of chenle saying, "race ya to laser tag."

them being boys— very competitive boys at that, they all ran, forgetting about the "no running" rule. they're basically the only one's here anyway, the only other people is a mother along with her two young sons.

they rushed up the stairs to laser tag and chenle won, mainly because he put his arms out to his sides and refused to let anyone pass him.

chenle got to decide what mode they played, choosing 3v3 and renjun and jaemin as his teammates.

yeah, jeno, haechan and jisung are fucked. they is no way they're winning this game, unless one of them magically becomes a monster at laser tag.

the person running the laser tag area explains everything to them, though they already know the rules and all that shit.

finally, they're let into the room where their battle will begin. a few minutes ago they made a deal that the losing team has to buy them food

chenle's loud, pennywise-like laugh rings throughout the room. that kid can be fucking terrifying at times.

it's a normal laser tag room set up, random walls with holes with neon LED lights. there's also random sea creatures painted along the walls with glow in the dark paint.

as the loud robotic voice counts down for the game to start, both teams rush to hide.

red team; chenle, renjun, and jaemin split up, planning on getting the others from behind.

blue team; jeno, haechan, and jisung ran into a corner. the whisper-yelling at each other really isn't helping.

yeah, blue team lost. weren't even close to winning. with both chenle and renjun on the same team, it wasn't an even game at all. jaemin isn't too bad at it either.

jeno ended up buying them all pizza- which he probably would have down even if his team somehow managed to win.

they ate outside, enjoying the sunset and cold gusts of wind. the beach they're at is beautiful, especially during sunsets.

the rest of their time at the arcade was pretty normal. just teenage boys messing around. they got a lot of tickets, and jisung got a shit ton of candy from a claw machine. speaking of claw machines, jeno went to the biggest one there and won cute (giant) plushie— which jaemin especially liked.

haechan also kicked their asses at Dance Dance Revolution. he got a nearly perfect score every time along with adding some of his own moves.

︾

the six boys now stroll along the beach together. jisung, haechan, and jeno (blue team) have taken off their shoes and socks. red team is still bragging about how they won as they play catch with one of jisung's shoes.

haechan had a good time. it wasn't awkward like he expected it to be. they'll be hanging out like this again sometime soon, he can feel it. haechan will be able to make up the past few years of their friendship he lost.

they played in the water for a bit, just running through the shallow part. that was until jaemin accidentally pushed jisung, making him fall into a wave. then chenle went behind jaemin and pushed him into the water.

long story short, they're all wet now.

luckily, jeno's mother keeps blankets in the trunk of her car (she adores picnics).

so now they're sitting in the parking lot of ocean's chamber, sharing blankets and using them as towels.

"you know, if jaemin never pushed me, we'd all be completely dry right now."

"that's false, if jaemin didn't push you i would have." jisung looks at his best friend with a face full of betrayal.

"i get bullied here," jisung mumbled, yanking the blanket he and chenle were sharing.

the next few minutes were filled with jisung being babied, stupid jokes, and talking about past memories.

like the time in freshmen year they all snuck out of their houses to go to a carnival. after it they walked past a public pool, which obviously was close considering it was 11pm. haechan, being the reckless kid he was, insisted on going swimming.

the second he got over the fence (jeno was following right behind him) the lights turned on and a voice filled the area. "hey kid! what are you doing? that's trespassing!"

one thing led to another and the five of them were running from pool security.

fun times.

︾

jeno and haechan are on jeno's roof, again. last time they were here it didn't end too well. chenle and jisung went home with renjun and jeno drove jaemin home about an hour ago.

"so... how's it going?" jeno broke the silence.

"pretty good," haechan replied, nodding.

neither of them know why it's so awkward right now. not too long ago they were laughing with the others, just as best friends do.

so why can they not say anything too each other now?

maybe, it's the energy from when they were last here still lingering. like, they should continue that conversation, though neither of them want to do that. but it's inevitable. they both know it will be talked about eventually, might as well do it now.

"so, mark talked to me after school today." jeno's already started. if you ask haechan, its a bit too soon to talk about this.

"did he?" haechan mumbled a reply.

"he thinks you hate him."

"that's not exactly a bad observation, from what i've done too him that's definitely what it looks like," haechan said, thinking of all the insults he's thrown at mark.

"do you hate him?" jeno asked, completely aware of how risky doing so could be.

it was silent for a bit. haechan was thinking.

"it's complicated." is all he can come up with.

jeno hums in response, debating if he should say something risky again. he doesn't want to accidentally trigger something in haechan. no matter how much jeno doesn't want to admit it, he doesn't know donghyuck as well as he says he does.

"you know, maybe it would be good to have someone like him in your-"

"i don't need nor want anyone, he'd just leave and give up like everyone else anyway," haechan cut him off, not wanting to hear it. though, jeno's most likely right, he usually is with these types of things.

"always so negative," jeno laughs, attempting to shine a bit of light on the situation.

"i'd ask why you feel that way but that's definitely crossing the line."

after that haechan doesn't respond. he's, again, sitting deep in thought. there's a blank look on his face, completely unreadable.

jeno won't be the one to break the silence this time. he will sit there until haechan says something.

"it's just-" haechan sighs, "i never feel anything and then he comes into my life and makes me feel things that i've never felt! it's scary okay!?" his voice was shaky, stuttering with every other word.

jeno's just shocked haechan actually opened up. analyzing what he said, jeno would assume haechan's developing feelings for mark (though he would never say that aloud).

haechan's just scared. that's normal. he doesn't want to be hurt again.

Chapter Text

  shit's been pretty normal for mark recently. trying to talk to haechan, being told to "fuck off," (even after haechan's talk with jeno, he's still like this, smh) then going to his other friends. the woowoowin trio, or the dumbass boys who do not understand mark's "obsession" with haechan.

lunch is the most exciting part of the day now, ten always has shit to say about someone, yuta makes one too many sex comments, and jaehyun literally will not leave taeyong's side.

mark's just poking at his food. he can't look away from haechan, who is sitting with five other boys. jeno, then jaemin and renjun who mark knows from student council and two others who appear to be a bit younger.

mark's staring didn't go unnoticed by his friends. johnny and jaehyun were trying to balance cups of rice on mark's head, literally, how did mark not notice?

a few minutes later hendery and yangyang show up. they're always coming to lunch late these days. and they dismiss every question on why they're late, it's sort of weird but then again, it's hendery and yangyang, no one really questions what they do anymore.

lucas is acting a bit weird too. the past two days he hasn't been at lunch, saying he has a project to work on. they don't understand why he suddenly cares about doing projects, when he would always do them last minute.

i guess you could say everything is a bit weird right now. taeyong isn't running away from jaehyun either, which is actually shocking. things aren't how they usually are, it's confusing mark, but he isn't really mad about it.

haechan's "weirdness" is actually hanging out with people. yeah, mark is jealous, but haechan looks so happy. he doesn't frown 24/7 anymore and he actually talks to people (even though what he says is a bit rude at times).

from what mark has heard, haechan's participating in a club now. though he doesn't know the name, all he does is stay at school for a few extra hours along with his friends. they're usually in the recording room or some random classroom.

︾

the day goes on normally. mark tries talking to haechan, is ignored, mark complains too his friends, and the cycle continues.

he's been spending more time with jiwoo, jungwoo, and sicheng recently. they don't mind listening to his problems and try help. saying random things he could do. it's mainly variations of "force haechan to talk to you," "wait a bit for him," and one, "shove him against a wall." —which mark will not be doing.

it's likely he'll do the second suggestion, just want for haechan to talk to him or wait a while then speak to him. maybe haechan needs time to think about something?

the first option could go one of two ways, one really good and one absolutely terrible. mark will not take that risk.

art class today wasn't anything special either, there was a substitute. meaning most kids did whatever they wanted, (including mark). students were either on their phone or playing a card game.

mark was on his phone, more specifically glancing at haechan from across the room as he pretends to be doing something on his phone.

haechan was fully focused on his drawing, for once, he never noticed mark's staring. he had headphones in too, appearing to be in his own little world, unaware of whats happening in the classroom.

the bell rang, though haechan heard it, as he started packing up his things. mark would wait for him, but he can't. today he has some stupid student council meeting. well, it's not that stupid but mark would prefer to be with haechan.

nothing important happened. just the presidents of the club mentioning a fundraiser they'll be holding a few other things mark didn't bother to pay attention to.

when the club was dismissed mark was stopped by jaehyun. he was asked to put a box into room 300, the recording room. it's not like mark could say no, even though he really just wanted to go home.

apparently jaehyun wanted mark to do it so he could spend more time with taeyong, such a simp.

so now mark is wandering down a hallway, a large box in hand. if he looks forward he can't see from the box covering his face, so he ends up walking sideways down the hall until he reaches the recording room.

he walks in backwards, opening the door with his elbow. placing the box in a spot beside the doorway, he looks up and freezes, noticing the voice that's singing.

the voice is clear and filled with emotion, though it quickly stopped. looking into the closed off section of the studio, mark realized who it was.

"you sing?" mark asked once the person walked out, pretending to be calm.

"not very well, but yeah," haechan replied dryly. he had a look of shock though it's already went away.

"what do you mean? that was great." mark's not lying, he has a beautiful voice.

"just stop," haechan scoffed.

"stop what?"

"being so fucking nice all the time," haechan groaned, falling into a chair.

"why are you even here anyway?"

"jaehyun asked me to bring something here."

"okay, then that means you can leave now," haechan said, making a small, shooing motion with his hands.

"what if i don't want to leave?" as mark speaks he sits onto a soft couch.

"then stay? i'm not making you do anything," haechan mumbled, his tone hinting that that should have been obvious.

"what are you doing?" mark asked, watching haechan mess around with a laptop.

"none of your busines," haechan snubbed.

"okaayyy then."

haechan then put his headphones on. mark decided to take advantage of that, sneaking behind haechan to watch what's he's doing.

just when he leasts expects it, haechan turns around. startled, mark falls backwards onto the floor.

haechan rolled his eyes, thinking the boy is being a little dramatic.

"why are you so awkward around me?" he asked, not breaking eye contact.

mark gulped, "because... you know," he mumbled, face beginning to flush.

again, haechan rolled his eyes, "that was a one time thing don't think about it too much, kay?"

"but-"

"we barely even did anything, stop being dramatic it's not like i fucked you, calm down," gloom boy said, a little too aggressively.

mark doesn't even know where he was going when trying to argue with what haechan said. he's not wrong. it was a one time thing.

they're back to silence now. haechan doing something on the laptop and mark sitting a few feet away. he doesn't know why he hasn't left yet. chances are when haechan's done he'll leave without saying a word.

mark's between being a very nice, caring person and a complete fucking idiot. it's quite stupid of him to chase after haechan so much. even after all haechan does is push him away. however, mark believes he can see through the walls haechan has built around himself. beyond them lies a child-like personality, someone who lights up the world just as the sun does.

mark's gotten past the walls once. what he doesn't know is that they're even stronger than before. he should know that gloom boy is unpredictable.

"still here?" mark looks up to see haechan turned around.

"yep," mark replies.

"why? you have much better things to do than sit here and wait for me to talk to you."

"i'd rather be here."

"geez, you're an idiot aren't you?" haechan laughs.

"what do you mean?" mark asked, walking over to haechan, changing to a seat closer to him.

"you really don't get it? not my problem then," haechan shrugged.

for a minute they just stared at each other. mark uncomfortably shifting his position as haechan chewed the end of his pencil.

"what happened to that nickname you gave me?" haechan asks, twirling the pencil with his fingers.

"gloom boy? i thought you didn't like it."

"the opposite actually, better than what most people call me." haechan mumbled the last part, but mark still heard.

"oh," mark whisper. somehow he forgot nearly the entire school doesn't like haechan.

"i don't think it's too accurate now anyway"

"why is that?" haechan questioned, actually interested in what mark will say.

"you're like a completely different person outside of school, i like that."

haechan's eyes met with mark's, who's smiling. quite a contrast to gloom boy's emotionless, nearly unreadable expression.

Chapter Text

after actually having a conversation with haechan yesterday, mark's pretty happy with himself. the two have talked a bit today too, although it is mainly haechan teasing or asking for homework answers.

the day's been pretty normal so far, it went by pretty fast. it's already last period.

there's a small statue on display in the middle of the classroom, mr.kim put it there and asked the students to draw it; as in draw the emotion you feel when looking at it- or literally just draw the sculpture.

mark chose to just draw it. i mean, it's just a mountain, there isn't much to decipher. if you look around the class that's the conclusion most students came to. they're all just drawing the mountain.

moving over a few desks, you'll meet haechan. he's always been the creative type when it comes to projects like these, and that definitely shows today.

what he's drawn isn't exactly a mountain, from the steepness, you could call it a cliff. there's a shadow, representative of a person, climbing a rope. from the description so far you'd expect the peak of the cliff to represent something happy, joyful. and for the void below to be depressing. though it's the opposite.

it's obviously not completed but it's still beautiful.

once it's time to leave, mr.kim starts talking to haechan. from what mark heard they're just talking about how good haechan is at art.

besides haechan, mark is the last student to leave the classroom. so he decides to wait outside the classroom, just like he used to.

what's the worse that could happen? when he goes to walk with haechan he just ignores him and walks away? it's happened many times, mark can deal with it again.

he's leaning on the wall beside the classroom's open door, still slightly being able to hear mr.kim and haechan's conversation.

"you're really talented haechan, a career with art might be in your future."

"yeah right."

"i'm serious, you're really good. haven't you thought about a future job? or college major?"

"there's no way i'm going to college, it's way too expensive."

"ahh, taeil graduates this year right? maybe he'll get a really good job."

"yeah, and maybe i'll find a unicorn shitting rainbows too. i doubt he'll find a good enough paying job that fast. plus, i don't want him using his money on me."

"c'mon you guys are family. i'm sure he wants to help you."

"we'll see, bye mr.kim."

before mark had the time to process anything, haechan walked out the door. startled, mark jumped back, nearly falling over.

"you good?" haechan laughs, kicking the doorstop into the classroom.

mark just nods. he stands in place, watching haechan walk away. for some reason mark can't look at him the same.

he shakes his thoughts away and rushes to catch up to haechan. they walk together. just like they used to.

everything looks normal. the birds are chirping, mrs.jeon is out watering her flowers, and the neighborhood cat struts by their feet.

they're at the point where they usually part ways, the corner of a park. haechan would continue going straight while mark turns. though, that isn't what happened.

mark continued to go forward, following behind donghyuck.

something triggered haechan's sixth sense. he turned around, having felt that mark's presence was lingering.

"what are you doing? you're house is that way," haechan said, pointing.

mark awkwardly laughs, "nothing gets past you."

no reaction.

mark, again, smiles awkwardly. "i'll just... go that way," he stutters, heading the direction his house is in.

he does know where haechan's apartment building is, so it's not like mark would have to follow him there. it'd just be easier if haechan knew he was there.

so, mark knelt behind a trash can, as you do. just watching haechan until he's out of sight. the second mark can't see gloom boy anymore, he hops out of his hiding place, causally waking down the path, completely ignoring the weird looks he was getting from middle aged women and their kids.

all that's left is a street to cross and boom, he's at haechan's apartment complex. mark just has to not be seen by gloom boy. easy peasy.

behind a tree, mark waits for haechan to finish crossing the road. a few seconds after haechan makes it mark rushes across the road. (thankfully there's barely any cars around here)

he then hid behind another trash bin, peaking his head out only slightly.

mark watched haechan cross the parking lot. before going up the steps of the apartment building, haechan stopped by a car. a man, in his twenties, came out and greeting haechan.

mark's never seen him before. though if he heard correctly, haechan called him "taeil." that's the name mr.kim said, right? he's also heard johnny and doyoung mention someone of that name.

is that haechan's brother? mark's never heard haechan ever mention him... or his parents, anything family related donghyuck always avoided.

mark's parents know a few of the people in that building. he doesn't remember them mentioning any family with a kid... let alone two.

did their parents die? were they kicked out? who would do that to their own kid...

like usual, mark is confused.

he shouldn't have followed haechan home, though he doesn't know that yet.

︾

this week the semester changes, now haechan will have one extra class with mark, how fun. to make things even worse, it's gym. who actually likes gym? it's one of the worst high school classes, especially when the coach is an ass.

that's not the only change that's happened, haechan's dyed his hair, getting rid of the fading sliver, to it's now soft, brown color. no one's said anything but there have been those weird stares.

haechan just left his math class. the only good thing about that class is that it isn't far from the gym. besides that it's fucking torture.

he just sits at a bench away from all the other boys in the locker room, on his phone as the coach, a large, buff man, is yelling random rules. (which no one is paying attention too)

once they're all in their gym uniform, (just a t-shirt and shorts), the coach has them line up as he calls out their names.

haechan's at the edge, with mark to his right, and apparently someone mark knows to his right. haechan had noticed them talking earlier.

"choi jongho." the roll call starts.

"hwang hyunjin."

"kim sunwoo."

"lee felix." the person talking to mark.

"yoon sanha."

"lee chan."

"lee minhyung." haechan heard mark mumble "here." he holds back a laugh the rest of attendance.

when the coach told them to head out to the field, haechan immediately started to tap mark's shoulder.

"minhyung?" he laughs "that's your korean name?"

"shut up... donghyuck," mark "aruged" back, causing haechan to laugh, dramatically grabbing his chest as he pretended to be embarrassed by being called his birth name.

"ah.. i'm so hurt," haechan joked, smirking slightly at mark before running onto the field.

gym wasn't as torturous as haechan expected it to be, they just had to run laps then play a soccer (football) game. he was on the same team as that jongho kid, and damn, he was really good. their team ended up winning 7-3.

mark was on the other team, clearly they didn't have many good players, considering they lost by four points.

they headed back in the locker room five minutes before the bell was supposed to ring. it smelt really fucking bad, they are a bunch of sweaty teenage boys. haechan sat in his corner, which thankfully didn't reek of wet dog and male sweat.

mark's somewhat close to haechan's corner, he hates the smell too. eventually they're one of the last one's in the locker room, most students left a bit early.

with less people there, mark finally decided to change out of his gym clothes. he stands beside his backpack, which just happens to be on the bench haechan is sitting on.

after taking off his shirt his face becomes red, having heard a slight laugh.

"woah, dude i wouldn't have expected you to have abs," haechan laughed, turning his head as he stared at mark's body.

mark didn't know how to respond, he didn't expect haechan to notice since he was so focused on his phone. he just nodded, quickly putting on his other shirt as he ignores his heating face.

"stop blushing so much, that's fucking gay," haechan chuckled, noticing mark's face.

mark's eyes widened at the comment, he never actually thought about the possibility that haechan's straight.

"it's just a joke, why do you look so scared?" haechan said, standing up.

before mark could say anything the bell rang. haechan smirked, "see you at lunch."

he then walked out the room, headphones in and hands lying in the pockets of his jacket.

Chapter Text

  recently, haechan's been in a much better mood. actually smiling, laughing, joking around, you know, the basic things a, "happy" person does.

mark isn't really too sure what caused the change. it could be something haechan's friends did or maybe something else, either way mark is not complaining. this is much more pleasant then being insulted everyday.

haechan no longer pushes him away, physically and figuratively. usually, if mark walked beside haechan, he'd shove him to the side. not anymore. now haechan just starts a conversation instead.

at lunch haechan didn't completely ignore mark's existence. one time their eyes met, haechan laughed, waving, as mark blushed.

mark chooses not to sit with haechan anymore, mainly because haechan is no longer alone, he doesn't need any company now. he sits with his five friends, occasionally yangyang sits with them too. mark actually didn't expect him to be close to them.

but, he wasn't at the school the past three years, he doesn't know as much as he thinks he does.

there's much more to haechan, all that mark is completely oblivious too. he'll find out soon enough. that haechan isn't who thinks he is.

︾

for some reason, today was much more eventful than normal. one thing being that haechan smiled a lot. especially during gym, they were playing dodge ball, and haechan was quite excited about it.

a bunch of 17-18 year old boys throwing a bunch of large rubber balls at each other doesn't sound very appealing at first, (or maybe you're into that kind of stuff) but the game was pretty fun. mainly because the team mark and haechan were on won.

as much as people hate to admit it, everyone knows games are much better when you win. the satisfaction of winning is like a drug. getting what you want, having the feeling of being "better" than another person. everyone loves the feeling, some more than others.

some people bring that into their everyday life. they will get everything they want. they will be the best. whether it's having a person all to themself, something smaller like being clever, or just being good at everything.

that type of person is everywhere. you never know when you'll meet one. and if you do, run.

︾

it's currently free period. mark's outside the school, studying with his friends. (yeah, they're not studying)

him and xiaojun are sitting at a table, waiting for lucas, hendery and yangyang. the three of them are usually here by now.

"what do you think they're doing?" mark asked.

"the three of them? they have chemistry before this, probably accidentally blew something up or set it on fire."

mark chuckled, sounds like them. though, from what mark's heard, dejun used to mess around with the three of them, and still does, just not at school.

just then, they hear loud foot steps, and see two boys running over. they both squint, yep, that's hendery and yangyang.

they can tell by yangyang's edgy clothes and purple hair, and there's no one else that'd be running with him. besides lucas, though he'd be pretty easy to see because of how tall he is.

a few seconds later, they're standing, out of breath, in front of the table mark and dejun are seated at.

"uhh hendery ... your shirt's on backwards... and inside out," mark comments, not really knowing what to say.

"huh? oh! uh... there was a spider on my shirt! so instinctively, i threw off my shirt." hendery looked down, seeing the shirts tag on his chest.

"anyways... where's yukhei? xiaojun asks, not wanting to know the real reason his shirt was on so terribly.

"what?"

"no idea."

"we thought he was with you guys," mark adds.

"nope. when we left the class he said he had something to do and ran off," yangyang said, sitting beside mark.

"is that... lucas?" hendery says unsure, pointing to someone inside the school building.

all of their eyes widen. that's definitely lucas. he's talking to someone, who looks like... jungwoo?

mark knew the two knew each other, but they're literally holding hands like some middle-school couple that's been together for a day.

they all stare as yukhei walks over. lucas himself obviously very confused, and a bit scared.

"heyyyy." lucas awkwardly sits down.

"hey," dejun replies, in a somewhat mocking tone.

the four of them know that lucas knows they saw him. it's just, who will be the one to say something.

"what the fuck?" yangyang.

"you have a thing with jungwoo?" mark.

they yell a few other things as lucas hides his face in embarrassment.

"why are we talking about me? there's clearly something going on with yangyang and kunhang!" yukhei says, hoping to change the topic.

xiaojun and mark both look over to yangyang and hendery, who are clearly in a panic.

for the next few minutes they're just jokingly arguing. lucas not wanting the conversation to be about him and jungwoo then yangyang and hendery avoiding every question at all costs.

︾

like usual, mark is now at art. watching haechan. you know, the norm.

for today, they're doing a project in pairs. obviously, mark went straight to gloom boy. he didn't seem too happy about it, but haechan knew he wouldn't get mark away.

it was an unspoken conversation with their eyes. the second mark heard mr.kim say  "pairs" he looked at haechan. feeling mark's stare, donghyuck looked up. he rolled his eyes at mark and just continued his drawing. he didn't say no, so mark just took it as an invite to go over to him.

mark hops over to haechan a bit too excitedly. once he's close enough he stares at what haechan is drawing. though haechan quickly closed the notebook once he felt mark's presence.

mark only saw the page for a second, it looked like a person... on top of another person? he couldn't really tell.

doesn't matter anyway. mark happily places himself in the seat right beside haechan. adjusting his glasses, mark smiles to gloom boy before asking what he wants to do for the assignment.

haechan sighed, opening his notebook to the last page. he starts to draw out his idea while explaining it mark.

like usual, mark is distracted, by haechan. he just can't get his eyes to leave the boy's face.

haechan's lips are more pink than mark remembers them being. his eyes also seem to hold stars in them. he's so cute when focused.

gloom boy snaps his fingers in front of mark's face, having him leave the trance.

"were you even paying attention?"

mark panicked. he looked at the paper, then back to haechan, "of course, you're idea is really good!"

haechan sighed, fighting at slight smile at mark's cuteness.

the rest of the class they just joke around with each other. "accidentally" getting paint on the other's hand or haechan teasing mark for how he looks when focused.

mark is just happy gloom boy is laughing. he seems like a completely different person from when they first met.

obviously mark can't take all the credit for haechan's change, but he'd like to think he's part of the reason haechan smiles more often.

those months of being nice and getting ignored weren't pointless. if mark had given up before, it's possible they wouldn't be here now. laughing and messing around together.

as haechan was focused mark suddenly got the urge to paint little hearts on his hand. so mark took the smallest paint brush he could find, dipped it in a pastel pink, and started painting on gloom boy's arms.

it took a minute for haechan to accidentally notice the hearts, he just ignored whatever mark was doing.

once haechan did check his arm, mark noticed a small change in color of his face.

︾

mark's waiting outside for his mom, she got stuck at work so she's a little late. by now he's the only one left at the car loop.

he just sits, playing subway surfers, trying to beat his friend's score.

in the corner of his eye he sees another student. he looks about six feet tall, quite skinny, and -has obviously dyed- blond hair.

his face is pretty unpleasant too, not in the sense that he's ugly, just looks really mean with a permanent irritated look and sharp eyebrows.

he's getting closer but mark just ignores him. he looks a bit familiar but mark can't seem to remember where he's seen the angry boy before.

it's when he stops right in front of mark when he acknowledges him. mark slowly looks up, even with a clear view of his face mark still can't remember the boy's name.

"you're fucked," he sneered, mouth curving into a smirk.

Chapter Text

"uhh... who are you?" mark asks, awkwardly laughing as he stands up, a few inches shorter than the boy in front of him.

"really? who am i?" he scoffed, his eyes widen, appearing slightly offended. "you just don't remember the people you pick a fight with?" he chuckles.

mark, clearly confused, just shrugs.

"whatever," unknown boy mumbles, body language becoming less confident.

"name's kim yeseok, you'll definitely remember it this time," yeseok states, staring dead into mark's eyes.

"sure..."

"i heard you're getting pretty friendly with haechan, hm?" yeseok laughs.

mark nods.

"he's a wonderful person, isn't he?" yeseok smiles, though his eyes look like they're about to set fire.

"yeah... he is."

"well," yeseok giggles, "i heard you followed him home..." he raised an eyebrow at mark, who still showed no reaction.

"just warning you, he hates when people like you stalk him." as he said "you" he tapped mark's nose, still laughing.

"i didn't stalk him? don't take things out of context."

"just stop talking to haechan and we won't have any problems," yeseok snapped, in a sort of whiny, entitled tone.

"no- he's my friend? and i... i like him, so no, i won't stop talking to him," mark said confidently. he's just started to get close to haechan, he isn't going to give that up.

"fine then," yeseok mumbles, "have it your way."

"you're going to regret that," yeseok laughs, a huge smile on his face as he skips away.

︾

mark's taking the bus with haechan today. all the shit yeseok said doesn't bother him in the slightest. he's just one annoying bully, what could he do?

after haechan greets his friends and mark awkwardly stands a few feet away, they walk to class together. their hands occasionally graze over each other from how close they're walking.

no one really stares at them anymore, which is good. they look like normal students having a normal conversation.

they turn a corner, going into a more crowded hallway. there's one person with his stupid face and blond hair that stands out.

yeseok makes eye contact with mark, he points at him then drags his finger along neck.

mark gulps, quickly looking away. he shakes away all the thoughts he just had and turns his focus back to haechan.

the day goes by normally, but what yeseok said made mark realize just how often he's beside haechan. it's like all he thinks about is haechan.

i can't wait for this class to end so i can see haechan, i wish haechan was here, i wonder what haechan's doing.

he really is all mark thinks about. at lunch he zones-out, staring haechan. during gym he just watches haechan. maybe this isn't a good thing.

throughout the day mark constantly felt like someone was watching him. but whenever he turned around there was no one suspicious. didn't change the fact that he felt as if someone's eyes were lasers through his skull.

it's possible he's just paranoid. mark thought what yeseok said didn't get to him, maybe he was wrong.

study-hall today mark just decided to sit in the auditorium, because he never gets any work done when with his friends.

what he didn't know is that's where haechan usually goes at this time. so he was quite happy to see gloom boy curled up in a corner of the room.

obviously he sat next to haechan, well not directly next to. haechan was sitting up on the back of the seat, leaning against the wall.

mark didn't say anything, not wanting haechan to tell him to go away. but haechan spoke first anyway, though it wasn't bad.

literally just said, "what's up?"

"nothing really."

haechan laughs, "that's a first, you usually always got something to talk about."

"you barely pay attention when i talk to you anyway," mark replies, fake sulky.

"aish, i pay attention more than you think i do. plus, it's kinda cute watching you rant about something," haechan smirks, glancing at mark for a second.

mark feels his face heating, he quickly looks away and focuses on his work.

haechan left him alone for a minute, he was interested when it seemed that mark was struggling with his assignment.

he looked over mark's shirt and saw a math worksheet, a bunch of stuff he learned last year.

hopping down from his position, he sat in the seat correctly and started watching over what mark was doing.

"wrong," he said, when mark made a small mistake.

"what? how?" mark stared at the paper, completely confused.

"you wrote the formula wrong."

"oh... thanks," mark mumbled.

haechan sighed, dragging the paper in front of him and doing the problem for him.

"you don't have to help me," mark sighed.

"c'mon, i would be failing english if you didn't let me copy off you," haechan laughed, doing a few more questions before giving the paper back to mark.

"i wrote out everything, if you're confused just look at what did, it's numbered too," haechan said while standing up and gathering his things.

"thank you... um, where are you going?"

"don't worry," haechan chuckled, "just leaving early cus' my class is far from here."

"oh... okay..." mark said, disappointed.

"you're cute," haechan laughs, ruffling mark's hair before heading out.

"see you later," haechan waved, smiling at mark before walking out.

︾

haechan keeps looking at mark weirdly. perhaps that's what mark's been feeling.

at least the day is almost over now. once he's home there's no way he'll still feel like someone is watching him.

sadly, the group project is already over, so he doesn't have an excuse to sit beside haechan. maybe he doesn't need one. gloom boy wouldn't care, right?

"took you long enough," haechan says with a small laugh as mark sits beside him

"so you were waiting for me to sit here?"

"you could say that. i just was curious to what you would do." haechan looked over to mark, raising an eyebrow.

as usual, mark's confused. everything haechan's is doing in normal. which is weird. he's usually doing or saying something questionable, but right now, he's just... normal. no passive aggressive comments or looking wayyy to sad.

that should be a good thing, right?

it feels too sudden. maybe mark doesn't pay attention to haechan as much as he thinks he does.

︾

mark's walking home with haechan by his side. haechan's rambling on about some annoying substitute he had and some things he's friends did.

he's smiling. mark wants him to keep smiling.

soon the conversation turned into them hanging out sometime after school.

"wanna hang out? we could go to your place, i bet oliver misses me," haechan laughs.

"he does, always asking when's haechan coming over," mark groans.

"but he's not here right now, went back to canada to visit a friend."

"aw, that's too bad, would've been nice to see him again."

"yeah... we could hang at your place! if your parents don't mind." mark smiled.

haechan froze in place, suddenly an awkward tension growing between them.

"shit- you don't live with your parents, sorry," mark sputtered, smacking himself on the head.

the tension grew. haechan's hand was tightly in a fist, he looked over at mark.

"how would you know i don't live with my parents?" he spoke, taking deep breaths, hands shaking.

"i- uh-" as mark stuttered, everything seemed to click in haechan's mind.

"you really did follow me home, didn't you?"

mark's eyes widen. he's actually mad?

"seriously, i can't believe yeseok's friend was right," a sad laugh, "you're just like him," haechan says, looking at mark, all emotion in his voice completely disappearing.

"what!? i'm nothing like him!" mark's shocked.

"you even listened to me and mr.kim's conversation too, right?"

silence was his answer. haechan looked at him in disbelief.

"it's not like i meant to lis-" mark felt his breathing quicken. his heart was beating out of his chest.

haechan scoffed, "don't even bother making excuses."

"just fucking listen to me," mark cried.

"stop trying so hard, just fucking leave me alone," haechan growled. he walked away. not looking back for a second.

︾

-two hours ago-

"haechan! long time no see, how's it goin'?" a boy, light brown hair, about 5'8 said, leaning his back on a locker beside haechan.

"what do you want, sangmin," haechan sighed.

"c'mon, i have to want something? can't just hang out like old times?" he said, smiling.

"just get to the fucking point."

"fine." he sighed, becoming more serious.

"about a week or two ago, i noticed someone... watching you, and it wasn't yeseok this time."

haechan shut his locker, suddenly interesting in what sangmin has to say.

"it was that kid who's always by your side these days."

and suddenly it doesn't sound believable. mark isn't like that.

"i saw him from across the hallway, the door was open, you were talking to mr.kim and it seemed like he was trying to listen to the conversation." sangmin looks haechan in the eyes.

"now, yeah i know that might be a bit of a stretch, you probably think that i'm just wasting-"

"fucking hurry up, i don't have time for your bullshit."

"i didn't think much of it at first, but then..." sangmin makes sure haechan is paying attention.

"on that same day, when yeseok was driving to work... he said saw the same person following you home."

he and mark walk home together all the time. this could easily be a miss understanding. sangmin and yeseok back on their bullshit.

"like... hiding behind bushes and trash bin's following..."

haechan looked at his old friend. not believing a single word he's saying for a second. he doesn't want to believe it.

so why is a part of him suspicious of mark?

—three years ago—

"haechan!"

"haechan, what are you doing later?"

"can we hang out after school?"

haechan sat smiling, first year of highschool and he's already got a bunch of friends. though he's going to stick with jeno. no one could ever replace him.

"i'm busy later, sorry. maybe another time." haechan started packing up his things.

"c'mon, you're always busy," sangmin mumbles, turning to the boy sitting beside him.

"yeseok, you'll hang out with me, right?"

the boy, yeseok, looks up and nods. he's quite small for his age, only around 5'3 while his most friends are 5'7 or taller. his black hair falls over his round glasses, making him appear a bit younger than he is.

sangmin smiles, ruffling yeseok's hair. he's always babying him.

slowly more people swarm the table.

yeseok leaves and sangmin follows.

"sangmin! what's up?" haechan says with a smile.

"oh, who's your friend?" he asks, looking over at the small boy playing geometry dash instead of studying.

"oh that's yeseok," sangmin replies.

"i can introduce myself," yeseok complained, putting his phone down.

haechan laughed, then made eye contact with the boy, an odd feeling rushing through his body.

"you should hang out with us sometime, don't know why sangmin's never invited you."

"hey! i have! he never wants to come!"

haechan sighs dramatically, "always making excuses."

a few months later and sangmin's finally convinced yeseok to hang out with his friends. haechan, jeno, renjun, lucas, dejun, jisung, yangyang, and chenle.

yeseok's grown a bit. already 5'6, nearly the same height as sangmin. he changed his hair style too, parting it in the middle instead of having a bowl cut.

his shy personality is still there though, despite sangmin's efforts to break him out of his shell.

"nope, i'm not cut out for this, i'm leaving," yeseok says, looking at all the people at the fair.

"no. yeseok, you are staying," sangmin stated.

"no i'm calling my mo-" he was already pulling out his phone before sangmin interrupted him.

"see! they're already here! too late now, let's go!" he exclaimed, grabbing yeseok's hand and running over to the other boys.

about two hours later and it wasn't as bad as yeseok expected it to be. part of that being because he isn't scared of anything there.

not even the out-of-season haunted house, which the rest of them screamed while walking through.

they're all really nice. especially haechan, he's making sure yeseok doesn't get ignored or left behind.

they just finished eating, the ten of them sharing two large pizzas. now they're just walking around, looking at the games and other stuff. maybe they'll even get some more food.

"man, one of those giant plushies would be sick," haechan laughed, pointing over at one of the games.

so they went over to the game so haechan could try to win.

"rules are simple, three throws to knock down the pins, if you get em' all down in one go you get the bigger prize," said the old man running the game.

haechan nodded, "got it." then gave the man a couple tickets

first throw haechan misses completely, he looked shocked. second he knocks down one. third two more, so there's still three pins standing.

"damn, that's harder then i expected it to be," haechan said.

"nah, i think you just suck," renjun commented.

"really? bitch you try then," haechan argued.

renjun rolled his eyes, he wasn't going to lose to haechan.

first throw got two, then one, then two. did better than haechan but still didn't win.

"see mr.good-at-everything, not so easy is it?"

"at least i did better than you!"

while they were arguing yeseok went up to the stand, giving the man the tickets so he could play. the man stated the rules again and yeseok examined the game.

he knocked down all the pins in one throw.

"dude how'd you do that?" lucas yelled, from a few feet away, holding haechan and renjun apart.

yeseok shrugged, "used to play baseball."

he pointed to the large purple plushie he noticed haechan eye-balling, the man then handing it to him.

it's getting pretty dark. they also decided that yeseok was the master at that game and that they won't be wasting all their tickets trying to match him.

haechan walks beside yeseok, still starijg at the plushie.

"can't believe you won that easily," he mentioned, shaking his head in disbelief.

"uh... you can have it, i don't care much for shit like that," yeseok awkwardly said, handing the plushie to haechan.

"really?" he nods. "thanks dude!" haechan excitedly takes the plushie from yeseok, rubbing it in his friends faces that he got something and they didn't.

the rest of their time there haechan was glued to yeseok's side, dragging him by the wrist everywhere.

whenever sangmin tried to get his best friend back haechan ending up grabbing his attention again.

summer just ended, yeseok's taller now, about 5'10. he didn't see haechan all summer, or really anyone besides sangmin. he can't wait to see haechan again. after the fair him and haechan were always together.

the second he walked into the building and saw haechan sitting at a table, he ran, a smile covering his face.

"haechan! didn't see you all summer, what's up?" he said, happily.

haechan didn't react. looked up at yeseok, then back to his phone.

"haechan? what's wrong?" he said, voice filled with concern.

soon lucas and yangyang both came over, noticing haechan's gloomy mood.

when haechan wasn't responding, yeseok went to shake his shoulder. though haechan slapped his arm away.

the three of them were shocked.

"i think we should talk to jeno," yukhei whispered to the other two. they nodded, looking back at haechan while walking away.

that continued for the next few months. haechan just pushing the nine of them away, even jeno at times. sometimes it was actually physical pushing.

whether it was just in the halls or outside of school while having an argument. haechan gradually got more rude and violent. and with that their group started to drift away from him.

yeseok stayed around the longest. he started replying to haechan's insults with another insult.

that continued until haechan got tired of yeseok following him around. haechan didn't normally swear at people but now every sentence he said to yeseok contained one.

not matter what haechan said, yeseok stayed. haechan never understood why.

one day yeseok was determined to find out why haechan changed. he decided to follow him home. he no longer knew where haechan lived, over the summer jeno mentioned that he moved.

this was the only way he'll be able to learn anything.

he went uncaught until he walked into the parking lot. haechan turned around at a quite inconvenient time for yeseok.

"why were you following me? i told you to fucking leave me alone," haechan yelled, clearly trying to hold in his anger.

yeseok couldn't respond. he just stared at haechan, feeling smaller by the second.

"stop trying so hard, just fucking leave me alone."

"i thought... i thought we were friends?" yeseok stuttered, attempting to hold back his tears.

"i'm not a stupid f*****, go lie in the street and stop talking to me."

yeseok's eyes widened. he couldn't believe what haechan said.

"haechan!? what are you doing?" a man, about 19, walked out of an apartment on the second floor. yeseok thinks he's haechan's cousin, taeil, if he remembers correctly.

"hyung! i didn't mean it!" haechan was clearly panicking.

taeil sighed, "get inside." a disappointed look all over his face.

"sorry for anything haechan did," the young man said, bowing to yeseok, then heading into the apart.

yeseok was mad. sad too, but mainly mad. he really should have stayed away. he scoffed to himself, he can't believe haechan faked a whole friendship.

Chapter Text

dramatic. dramatic. dramatic.

it's all he can call himself. he's always ruining shit because he take it to heart a lot more than he should.

he never told mark not to follow him home. he never told mark to not listen to his conversations.

shouldn't that be common sense though?

haechan should be telling himself he's not in the wrong. who notices they can hear a personal conversation and chooses to keep listening? who, after that, thinks it's okay to follow said person home in attempt to learn even more about their personal life.

mark is the one who did wrong. not haechan. this time, haechan didn't do anything wrong.

he warned mark. mark should have taken the hints. he should have known that he can't just squeeze himself into haechan's life. that's not how it works.

if that's the case, why does haechan still feel so fucking bad?

the fact that mark didn't have any ill intents doesn't change what he did. if he read the room it should've been obvious his personal life is pretty fucked.

so why is haechan crying in the bathroom? curled up, making him self as small as possible, just sobbing. haechan's tired of being sad.

doesn't change the fact that his heart still stings, that the tears keep flooding from his eyes.

the last thing he wants is someone walking into the small bathroom, but obviously it happens anyway. haechan doesn't even have to look up to know taeil is the on standing in the doorway.

"haechan...? what's wrong?" taeil knows nothing.

haechan shook his head, "i- don't wanna. talk about. it," he muttered between sobs.

that's not enough for taeil to walk away. nothing will cause that. haechan could yell a million swears at him and taeil will still stay by his side.

taeil sits across from him, leaning his back on the edge of the bathtub. he's in the same position as haechan, besides the sobbing.

he wants to help haechan, he really does, but the chances of haechan saying anything are really low.

"haechan, remember what i told you when you first moved in?"

haechan looks up, eyes red and puffy. he does, he remembers everything.

"stop crying, they're not worth crying over. you're parents don't deserve you haechan, don't waste your energy crying over people who did you wrong."

there's more, but that's what always stuck with haechan.

he shouldn't be crying right now. he should be angry.

"haechan, whatever it is you're crying over, you're stronger, don't let it haunt you like this," taeil says, his smooth voice calming haechan down.

he stands up, reaching an arm out for haechan. haechan stops his crying and grabs taeil's hand, to be pulled back onto his feet.

taeil pulls him into a warm hug. he feels safe. he feels at home. taeil is his real family.

"now get some rest kid," taeil smiles, ruffling haechan's hair.

haechan manages to form a small smile, he nodded and headed to his bed.

︾

the weekend wasn't too bad for haechan. he slept a lot, ate all of the snacks jeno had in his attic, and mark rarely crossed his mind.

now he has to go back to school. ignoring mark and pretending he doesn't exist won't be a problem, i mean, he's done it before. it's mark though. it's likely he won't leave haechan alone, he's too clingy.

throughout the week, everything felt the same. haechan easily ignored mark even when he could feel his stares.

monday, mark didn't say anything. just awkwardly stared at haechan in classes, the hallways, and at lunch. this didn't faze haechan in the slightest.

tuesday, mark said "hey," haechan didn't even look at him. it was like he was invisible. later in the day sangmin went over to him, he wants to be friends again. haechan said sure.

wednesday. wednesday was weird. one of those days that felt like a friday, then you find out it's only wednesday.

mark tried having a conversation with haechan again, obviously it didn't work out. haechan spoke to sangmin a bit though, jeno too. after school yeseok went up to haechan. to quote their conversation,

"haechan! what's up?"

"..."

"saw you're talking to sangmin again... what about me?"

"..."

"anyways- i really think you should give me a chance, as of last night, i am a completely different person."

then sangmin came and dragged yeseok away.

then came thurday, nothing. it was one of those days a bunch of people skip for no reason. the halls were emptier and the building was just really quiet, even at lunch.

the only interaction haechan had with mark was him drawing a cute face on a small piece of paper and then sliding it onto haechan's desk.

now, it's friday. haechan's expecting everything to be the same as the rest of the week.

in the morning, yeseok came up to him. their conversation didn't last long because of haechan walking away. it went something like,

"c'mon," yeseok whined, "just go on a date with me."

"please fuck off, i really thought you were going to change but you're exactly the same."

then haechan walked away, and now he's in a bad mood. wonderful.

throughout the day haechan could tell mark knew he was in a bad mood, worse than usual. he did the small things he always does when trying to cheer up haechan.

it didn't work. if anything haechan just got more irritated. he took his anger out on pencils, intentionally breaking the lead of wooden ones and cracking the plastic of mechanical ones.

the whole day he really didn't want to talk to anyone. knowing once he gets to go home he'll be relaxed.

︾

after gym is when mark sort of gave up on haechan. he knew he wouldn't be able to talk to him, at least not right now.

the whole day haechan had a permanent scold on his face, making him not very easy to approach. though obviously that alone wouldn't be enough to get mark away from him.

during class and free period mark brainstormed ways to get haechan to talk to him, (and not have it blow up in his face). eventually he decided on just finding haechan after school.

in class, right before the last bell rang, mark watched haechan, who was scribbling in his notebook, as usual. only difference is he didn't look as relaxed as normal.

it pain's mark to think that he's the reason haechan's so upset now. it can't be only his fault, right?

great, just what mark needed, a bunch of thoughts that just make him nervous. and right before he was going to talk to haechan too. thankfully, mark isn't the type to let the nerves get to him. but he still isn't braze enough to just go up to haechan.

that brings us to where we are now, mark silently following behind haechan in the hallways. school's over, mark isn't sure why he's still here, nevertheless he still follows.

it seems like haechan's heading to the recording studio, which shouldn't be too surprising, he hangs out there a lot.

the assumption is correct, as mark peaks over the corner and watches haechan walk into the room. mark rushes over to the door, catching it the second before it closes.

haechan notices the door not clicking shut and turns, now facing mark. he doesn't say anything just stares, the same dead look from the beginning of the school year.

it's doesn't even seem like haechan's angry, just slightly annoyed. he mainly looks empty, like he's lost a part of himself. his eyes are just black holes, not a sign of anything there.

weary, mark takes a deep breath, slowly shutting the door behind him. then looking back to haechan. for a minute, neither of them spoke, a chilling silence throughout the room.

"i can't do this anymore, haechan please talk to me!" mark begged.

haechan had no reaction. looking at mark, he doesn't feel anything. mark's just some random boy meddling in his life, his time is over now. soon he'll be out of haechan's life.

mark fell to his knees, hands resting on his thighs, he bowed his head.

"i'm sorry, i'm sorry," he repeated, not too sure about what it is that he's apologizing for.

"get up. you look pathetic." haechan rolled his eyes, then turned his focus away from mark and sat on the couch.

mark looked to him, haechan didn't seem to care in the slightest. completely unbothered by mark's presence. mark then got up from the floor, moving to standing beside the couch haechan is on.

"you should just leave, whatever you have to say will just piss me off even more," haechan commented, not even sparing a glance at mark.

mark's mouth opened to respond but he couldn't speak. after an awkward amount of silence, haechan peaks over to mark.

he raises an eyebrow, "you gonna leave or what? i don't feel like dealing with your shit right now," he sighed.

"i just- i don't understand why you're mad?" mark questioned.

haechan's annoyed-cocky expression immediately changed to something much more serious.

"it should be obvious but you aren't exactly as smart as you seem," haechan sighed.

"i don't know mark, why do you think i'm upset," haechan said with a sassy tone.

"because i listened to a conversation about personal stuff and followed you home like some weird stalker?"

haechan laughs. "pretty good description you thought of there, how long it talk you to come up with it."

"a few days.." mark mumbled, causing haechan to laugh again.

"was a rhetorical question, idiot."

mark presses his lips together, confused by how haechan's acting. something just doesn't feel right. he was just angry and now he's laughing and making passive aggressive comments like they're friends again.

"you could've at least said that you knew, not pretend like you didn't know anything for two weeks," haechan sighed, still not making eye contact with mark.

"i didn't want you to think i saw you any differently!" mark quickly replied.

haechan paused, not expecting that.

"did you see me differently?" he asked calmly.

"a little- but that doesn't matter!"

a small laugh left haechan, "you're so clueless."

"no matter how hard you to try to ignore it, i'll always be the depressed kid with a shitty family life."

mark's heart fell hearing that. why does he always believe every word that comes out haechan's mouth. he can't find anything to say.

haechan noticed that, and just decided to talk for himself.

"you know, there was a moment i started to think oh, maybe being with you won't be too bad." haechan starting twirling a pencil between his fingers.

"you could say, i was starting to be happy again, there wasn't much with my life i was upset with," he continued. mark doesn't understand, unsure of what this is leading too.

"then you just- why? do you not know how to respect people's privacy? how many of your little friends did you tell? god, i can't believe how stupid i am," haechan stressed, then began laughing, in a way that showed how mind blown he is by this whole situation.

"i really hate being angry or sad, it just doesn't feel nice, especially for me, i tend to say and do things i don't exactly mean, no going back after it's done though."

haechan's just ranting, but mark doesn't seem to understand the relevance of what he's talking about.

"by the way, i'm not exactly blaming you for everything, i'm a pretty shitty person in general, something was bound to trigger that part of me soon enough."

mark still can't put the pieces together, and it's pretty obvious too, by the clearly lost look on his face.

"you amaze me," haechan says, rolling his eyes. "thought you would've understood better by now."

mark just looks down in shame, he can't even think of a response.

"just gonna ask, because i'm so curious, why did you even stay around me?"

mark didn't want to answer, knowing haechan's just about to laugh at him again.

"i just didn't want to see you sad," he mumbled.

"my mental health isn't something for you to fix."

"i know! i just- i thought i could help!"

"what did you think this was? a game? give it a rest, somethings are impossible," haechan whispered the last line, mark barely hearing it.

"don't mess around with things you don't know anything about. you'll get yourself hurt."

mark looked down, he never wanted to lead to something like this. he really is clueless, he should've listened to haechan. if he did maybe they both wouldn't feel like shit right now.

"you wouldn't last a day with my mind," haechan mumbled. he's beginning to realize that he's said too much. he couldn't help it though, the chance of him being able to say how he really feels never comes.

"just- let me help, please." it seems like this is all mark has left. he just wants this to be over.

"stop pitying me, i really fucking hate it," haechan groaned.

he doesn't mean to pity haechan, even though that is what it seems like. he just cares so much.

"there's a bunch of other depressed kids at this school but you chose to hang around me, just because people told you not to, right?"

"if i was some normal student without some shitty past you would've just ignored me, no?"

why, why, why, does haechan have to always be right. mark wants to deny it so badly, he can't imagine himself without haechan. but what he just said is true, whether mark wants to believe it or not.

haechan rolls his eyes, he hoped mark would at least try to argue with him.

"for the last time, please stay away from me," haechan sighed. he'd be lying if he said that didn't hurt to say.

mark can't take this anymore. he can't leave haechan. especially not now. why does this have to happen.

he shakes his head, barely being able to get out, "i can't."

haechan stands up, eyes fiery, he walks in front of mark, clearly annoyed.

he grips mark's shirt, "can you just fucking listen to me for once?"

mark's literally speechless, he even can't look away from haechan's lips, and their faces aren't even close, still seven to eight inches apart. pathetic.

haechan scoffs, having noticed. he releases his grip on mark's shirt, pushing him back slightly in the process.

"could you just— stay out of my business? no one asked you to help me," haechan says, hoping to finally end this.

mark just stares at him, pure eyes resembling innocence. he can't find a way to fix this.

"what's it gonna take? me saying that i hate you or some other bullshit like that?"

mark opens his mouth to speak but haechan beats him to it.

"i fucking hate you, okay?" haechan snapped.

"i genuinely want you to leave me the hell alone, is that what you need to hear?"

mark thinks haechan's sort of overreacting, he isn't even giving mark a chance to speak. it's getting sort of... irritating.

"i won't give up, my life was easier before you walked in."

"would you quit being so emotional?!"

Chapter Text

"would you quit being so emotional?"

mark regrets the words the second they leave his mouth.

haechan raises an eyebrow at him, clearly annoyed. he chuckles, rolling his eyes.

"is that what you think of me?" haechan asked, tilting his head.

"i didn't-"

"that i'm some broken boy who will kill himself if he gets the chance?" haechan knows that's a bit of a stretch, but people like mark are just so easy to read.

"donghyuck! that's not what-" mark yelled.

"well, you're right."

gloom boy began walking out, pushed right through mark, who kept grabbing onto his arm, trying to get him to stay.

no matter what mark yelled gloom boy didn't look back or say anything, just pulled his arm out of his grip and kept walking.

in the middle of the silent hallway, haechan pulled out his phone along with his headphones. he stuck them in his ears and hit play on some random playlist.

the music flowing through him at nearly full volume makes him forget all his worries. he let's the music consume his mind, calm his thoughts.

mark, on the other hand, sat on the floor with his back against a wall, in shock. he felt as if he couldn't move. he didn't even notice the text from his mother causing his phone to light up.

haechan heads up the stairs to the roof, unaware of all his surroundings, just imagining he's in some utopia.

as he opens the door to the roof, the cool wind blows into his face. it's refreshing, for a minute he stands there in front of the door, eyes close, just appreciating the feeling.

this is his safe place. no one around to pity him, just him and his music. here, all his thoughts can be erased.

it's a gloomy day. raining up until just an hour ago, fog and clouds still cover the sky. everything's so... gray. but the scenery is beautiful in it's own way. it can make you feel nostalgic for things you've never even experienced.

running through the streets in the middle of a storm, standing somewhere high up, feeling like you're on top of the world, being with the people you care about most in the middle of the night, messing around without a care for anything.

days like these make haechan feel, he wishes they could last forever. he opens his eyes, actually admiring the view.

soon he began walking along the ledge of the building. not exactly wanting to fall, but not caring if he did. it's only two stories, possible that he wouldn't even die if he did fall. if anything it'd just be embarrassing.

as he's walking around, hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket and music blasting in his ears, he notices mark walking out of the school. for a moment, he stops his music.

mark has his head down and is practically dragging his feet along the ground. haechan tilts his head, slightly confused at why mark's acting like this.

he watches mark step into the car and shrugs, not worrying about him. haechan plays his music again and starts steps back onto the main part of the roof. he sits down, leaning on the short wall that goes around the roof.

as he sits, someone else comes onto the roof. though haechan doesn't notice, he didn't hear the door nor does he have his eyes open.

the person sits beside haechan, about a foot away. sensing a presence, haechan opens his eyes.

"what are you doing here?" he asks.

"same as you it seems," sangmin replied.

haechan nodded, looking up to the gray sky. after freshmen year they didn't really talk anymore, but haechan at least talked to him more than the others, besides jeno obviously. they spoke about once or twice a year, just about life, how they feel.

"what brings you here anyway, i'm here almost everyday and you're never there," sangmin asked.

"wanted to take my mind off some things."

sangmin nodded, "by the way, i'm sorry that he- yeseok, still acts like... that."

"don't be... it's not your fault," haechan sighed.

sangmin scoffs, "yeah, sure."

"he's an asshole, could've stopped awhile ago but he's always had an issue with apologizing," haechan said, trying to reassure sangmin.

"don't think i've ever heard him say sorry," sangmin laughs.

they talk about the past, bringing a bit of joy and nostalgia to both of them. haechan misses it, even though it is his fault they don't talk much anymore.

"why do you still like him anyway?" haechan asked, referring to yeseok.

"i wonder that too." sangmin sighed, a small smile still on his face.

"because his true colors occasionally slip. i know he's not actually an asshole bully, he just needs some help, though he refuses to take any," sangmin chuckled.

"it's like, something he immediately regrets after saying and tries to take it back, kinda adorable," he says, smiling at the thought of yeseok being flustered.

"i don't know though," sangmin said, mood changing, "i wish he wasn't so caught up in the reputation he made for himself, he could just apologize and be himself again."

haechan couldn't respond, he never realized how similar he and yeseok are. the both of them are known as a certain way and scared to change.

sangmin noticed the change in haechan's face, as if something unbelievable just happened to him.

"you okay?" he asked.

haechan nodded, "yea.. yea, i'm fine! just, never realized how similar yeseok and i are."

sangmin shrugged, "he noticed a while, literally never shuts up about you," he laughs, though his eyes show that he's anything but happy. which didn't go unnoticed by haechan.

"sorry... about that."

"don't be," sangmin laughed, "i need to move on anyway, i just don't know what would happen to yeseok if i just leave him so suddenly."

"what do you mean?"

"he's... not doing the best right now, his so called friends always pressure him into doing drugs and other shit," sangmin sighed.

"sometimes i'm all he has... and he's always freaking out at the thought of his parents finding the drugs." he pauses, getting a little emotional.

"i just- i don't want him to fall apart, i wouldn't be able to watch that."

haechan can't really seem to understand how sangmin cares so much. it's really like he's just full of love. if haechan was in a situation like that, he most likely would've isolated himself away from that person.

the things sangmin says always makes haechan re-think a bunch of his decisions. sometimes, he wants to be more like sangmin.

︾

certain things sangmin said won't leave his mind.

mark's true colors. or maybe haechan's just overthinking this, he tends to do that a lot.

perhaps, mark was right. he is nothing like yeseok. he's the complete opposite of yeseok. pretending to be nice while the other pretends to be mean.

but that's all an assumption.

everyone says things they don't mean, that's how humans are. constantly lying for different reasons. that's how we live.

life is an interesting experience. some love it, some hate it. but they all have the same disturbing fate.

for haechan, life isn't something he ever expected to last long. he could never see himself as an adult, or really anything older than he is now.

sometimes, life doesn't really seem worth living. society is a cruel thing. and people, well they tend to only care about themselves. why should they think any different?

how can haechan see life as beautiful when he sees right through everything? just because someone smiles, doesn't mean they're happy. just because someone has all the money they could ever need, doesn't mean they're happy.

rich, corrupt, and selfish people are who get to make the rules. they're the ones with power.

there are those who say, live to love. haechan doesn't want to live in a world of lies.

his parents, they loved each other. if that was true the wouldn't have fought every night. if it was true that his parents loved him, they wouldn't have made his live a living hell.

he's just a burden on taeil, jeno will be fine, and mark, well that doesn't matter too much anyway.

maybe that's why he's sitting up on top of probably the highest bridge in south korea. it connects the mainland to an island. and his phone is shut off, so he doesn't have to worry about any calls or texts.

the view is amazing, especially since the sun is beginning to set. it's been raining for the past few hours, ever since haechan left the school building.the colors blend so perfectly, haechan wishes he could stay up here forever.

as he looks around his eyes occasionally trail down to the ocean below him. he's about 200 feet above sea level. to most people this would probably be at least a little scary. but haechan's sitting, feet dangling over the edge without a care in the world for his wellbeing.

he's heard that drowning actually isn't painful. though obviously there's know way to know if that's true or not, because if you drown, it's not like you can say what it felt like.

apparently, you actually pass out before you officially drown, therefore it wouldn't be as painful as other deaths.

but it's not like he'll actually jump anyway.

︾

it's such a gloomy day. mark just got home and he's in the worst mood. even his mom noticed. so she started making his favorite for dinner, hoping it'd cheer him up.

oliver on the other hand, being the seven year old boy that he is, had no idea how to lighten his older brother's mood. he tried pushinh ninja over to mark, keyword being tried. the dog is bigger than him, it wasn't going anywhere.

after that failed he grabbed a piece of paper and went into his room. there he took all of his art supplies and began writing a note on why he loves his brother so much, in crayon.

while this all happened mark just stared out the window. he sat in the dinning room, filled with expensive decorations that his dad bought. though they don't hold any real meaning.

mark likes watching the rain drops trail down the glass. it's calming, enough to make him forget about the whole day. which is all he really needs right now.

about an hour later, oliver, mark and their mom had dinner together. a little earlier than usual but thats just because their mom will be busy later, and they enjoy eating together.

after the three clean off the table is when oliver finally gave mark the cute letter he was writing. the grammar is terrible and it's quite hard to read but it still put a smile on marks face, and that's all oliver wanted.

oliver then runs away to play with ninja. mark's mom goes over to him and assures him he can talk to her whenever he wants to, that she will listen. that also made mark smile. he's so blessed to have such a loving family.

now sitting in his room, mark goes back to watching the rain. staring at the water droplets or just curious about the people passing his house.

then his phone starts buzzing, weird because no one usually calls him. what's even weird is who's calling him. jeno, they have each other's numbers but have actually never texted or anything like that.

mark bit his nails, wondering if he should pick up or not. he quickly mumbles "fuck it" and accepts the call.

"hello?"

"hey, mark, have you seen haechan?"

jeno sounded worried- or out of breath, maybe it's just the phone.

"just right after school. we uh- talked, for a bit, the i think he went on the roof, not too sure," mark replied, trying not to sound as sad as he is.

through the phone he could hear jeno release a stress-filled sigh.

"okay- well, if you see him, tell him to call me, okay?"

mark bit his lip, "yeah, sure." after that jeno immediately hung up.

mark looked at his phone and sighed, turning off the ringer and tossing it onto his bed, where it couldn't bother him.

he leans backwards into his chair, looking up at his boring ceiling. his room is still pretty plain, even after living in korea for a few months now. he still has two boxes full of random things. unlike oliver, whose room is fully decorated with glow in the dark stars on the ceiling to top it off.

mark misses when he was younger and careless. when he could mess around whenever he wanted without even knowing what worry felt like.

the rain's beginning to clear up a bit, though it will probably start again soon. mark decides to take this as a chance to go on a walk.

so he puts on a hoodie, says see you later to his family, and heads out.

gray clouds still fill the sky, the sun barely shining through them. rain drops still fall, but mainly from all the trees mark is walking under.

there isn't any people out, just a few cars. it almost feels like mark is walking through a ghost town. shadows and fog being the ghosts.

soon he reaches haechan's apartment building, he unintentionally walked to it. obviously he did know what he was doing, just couldn't stop himself.

mark sighs, even if haechan is home, which he likely isn't, he wouldn't be able to face him. he can't comprehend why gloom boy always pushes him away.

he continues his walk looking down, his hood still over his head. mark just watches his own movements, focused on the way his legs move. that was until he bumped into someone.

"sorry!" "i'm sorry!" they both speak at the same time. the man mark ran into seems a bit older, definitely a college student. before mark could continue his walk the man spoke again.

"wait! are you mark?" mark stopped and nodded. now that he's looking at the man again he's seems a bit familiar.

"you know haechan? donghyuck?" he asked, face full of worry.

again, mark nodded.

"i'm taeil, his cousin. have you seen him recently?" taeil asked, begging for a yes.

"no, last time i saw him was at school," mark replied. confused with why someone is asking him again.

taeil let out a disappointed sigh, "i just- i have no fucking idea where he could be."

"sorry to bother you," with that taeil walks away. mark watched him speed down the sidewalk, occasionally yelling "haechan."

mark tries to continue his walk normally, knowing he is the last person haechan would want to find him, but he cant stop thinking about what haechan said earlier.

he tells himself haechan was just messing with him. that he doesn't actually mean what he said.

this is when mark decides to put his headphones in. hoping it will be enough to clear his mind.

he eventually passes a bench, it's only a little wet because of the small structure built around it. choosing to sit down, he closes his eyes, and just lets the song lead his mind mind.

ocean eyes by billie eilish, ironically it is not taking his mind off haechan. if anything it made mark remember a conversation he had with gloom boy. it was a few months ago but mark remembers it almost perfectly.

"you don't like the beach?"

"no, not really. too many people, and sand's a bitch."

"i do like that bridge by the beach though, you've seen it right? the view from the top of it must be beautiful."

"yeah, how would you even get up there anyway?"

"there's probably stairs or a ladder, if not i could climb up there, it wouldn't be too hard."

"you're crazy."

"whatever, i plan on going up there something, especially during a sunset, or maybe even when it's raining, i love the rain."

that's when it all hit mark. his eyes shot open. he knows where haechan is.

he got up and just started running. it's already a nearly thirty minute walk, and it's not like running will change much.

only images of haechan play in his mind, he wont leave mark's mind. haechan laughing, drawing, joking around, and just talking about what he expects the future to be like.

tears slowly fill his eyes, or maybe it's just the rain, which is now pouring. mark almost slips a few times and can barely see too. but he won't stop, he can't.

worse-case-scenarios fill his mind. it's too much, he's giving himself a headache.
soon he couldn't run anymore, but used all his strength to run as fast as he could with out falling.

once mark reached the bridge, looking up he could just barely see haechan, sitting on a ledge. he yelled but haechan didn't move at all. he yelled again but realized he could barely hear himself.

spotting the stair case to the top, he rushes over to it. he climbs up them as fast as he can, wanting to get haechan away from the ledge.

when mark was high enough to just barely see the to haechan was no longer sitting, but rather standing. with one hand holding onto a pillar as he started out into the dark sky. wind and rain blowing in his face.

everything moved in slow motion. mark watch as haechan's grip on the pole slowly loosened. mark ran, screaming as loud as he could.

Chapter Text

  haechan lets go, the wind only blowing in his face for a split second before his arm is grabbed and his body slams against the concrete wall looking up he sees mark with tears in his eyes pulling him up.

haechan hangs over the edge, the only thing keeping him up is marks grip on his wrist.

"what the fuck are you doing?" haechan sobs, barely being able to form words.

mark doesn't respond. tears slip from his eyes as he uses all his strength to pull haechan over the edge.

"give me your other hand!" mark screams.

haechan hesitated, now crying himself. his hearts beating so fast. he doesn't want to fall. slowly he moves his hand other up for mark to grab.

with a boost of adrenaline, mark pulls haechan back over the ledge. they both fall onto the concrete floor of the top of the bridge.

a little inconveniently, haechan actually fell on top of mark, though neither of them want to move. haechan rests his head in the crook of marks neck, too freaked out to get up. mark wraps his arms around haechan, he doesn't want to let go.

in the distance sirens can be heard, which just make haechan even more unsettled. he could've just answered jeno and taeil's texts and this wouldn't be happening. how much they care about him always slips through his mind.

in what felt like seconds, a man had come up to them, quite quickly considering his stomping could be heard as he ran up the metal steps.

out of breath, the officer speaks, "are you boys okay?"

mark looks up at him and stands up, still holding onto to haechan's hand. he nods.

the taeil and jeno appear right behind the officer, jeno runs past him and go straight to haechan, while taeil has a short conversation with the officer.

jeno can barely keep in his tears as he holds onto haechan, who still hasn't said a word and is still holding mark's hand as tight as he can.

soon the officer leaves, not being needed. then taeil rushes over to them. jeno and taeil both sob while mumbling words mark for some reason can't understand. it's like the world's gone silent.

him and haechan still stand there, hand in hand with no words spoken. mark's just trying to keep his composure until jeno and taeil leave.

it was clear haechan was trying not to cry, though he eventually broke, tears spilling from his eyes. as he squeezed mark's had he also nodded at everything taeil was saying.

mark was frozen in time. everyone was moving and speaking but nothing felt real. he saw their mouths move but heard only muffled words. he forces his eyes shut, hoping this is some fucked dream.

their fingers are now intertwined by mark's doing, he's just trying to process everything and plan conversations for when he's finally alone with haechan.

for the most part haechan's sobbing has calmed down, now just heavy breaths and sniffling.

the tension between mark and haechan is so intense even jeno and taeil can feel it. though neither of them want to leave haechan's side they still agree to having the two meet them at the bottom of the bridge.

"we'll meet you there," haechan hiccuped, nodding to the two most important people in his life.

hesitantly, the two make their way back down the stairs. leaving haechan and mark to discuss whatever it is causing this tension.

the second they aren't visible anymore mark pulls haechan into a hug, wrapping his arms over haechan's shoulders.

haechan wants to hug him back but he can't. he can't move. he can barely even breath. his chest rapidly rises and falls as tears slow start to slip from his eyes again.

mark just mumbles sorry over and over, trying his hardest not to fall apart. slowly, haechan moves his arm under mark's, wrapping it around his chest. with that hand he holds mark shoulder and pulls him even closer.

an odd sensation flows through mark when he feels haechan's free hand rest on his waist. he shoves his head into haechan's chest, wanting to hide his swollen, tear-filled face.

though they're just hugging it feels like many words have been said. they'd both like to think they know what's going on in the other's mind at the moment.

haechan isn't holding on anywhere near as tightly as mark is. there's too many thoughts running through his head.

he's thinking about from the moment he met mark up until now. never, would gloom boy would've guessed he'd be in this situation.

these past few months, he always assumed mark was pitying him. wanted to take on the "challenge" of befriending him. he only ever doubted that a few times.

perhaps, those doubts were the truth.

his whole life haechan never expected anyone to really care about him. he had quite low expectations for his friends. just hang out with him, that's it.

yeah, a sad way to live, but it worked.

with all the awkward conversations, and terrible flirting, haechan just expected mark to be gone after a month. for some reason he stuck around. it just felt like the "joke" was being dragged out.

by now it feels too late to say anything, while also being too early. right now, just embracing each other is enough.

the past few months haechan was just trying to get mark to leave him alone. and look at him now, pretty pathetic. even so he continues to hold onto mark, scared of what will happen when he lets go.

all haechan did was neglect him yet mark is here, damn does that him feel like an asshole. he'll never understand why mark cares about him.

soon just hugging did get a bit awkward, though haechan didn't have anything to say, so he didn't move.

well that changed when mark finally pulled away. but it seems that he doesn't have anything to say either, considering him and haechan are standing in complete silence.

making it even more awkward, they're having eye contact, with straight faces.

haechan, now not being able to take mark seriously, snorted and said, "why the hell are you looking at me like that."

now they're both laughing.

"how else do you want me to look at you?"

"how about you don't look at me at all?" haechan joked, "c'mon this is awkward, let's just go down."

"wait!"

haechan sighed, turning around.

"one more thing..." mark fidgeted with his shirt, thinking of how to word what he wants to say.

haechan cant seem to look at mark the same. perhaps not everyone is as evil as he thinks they are. not all people are monsters who pretend to care about you.

mark definitely isn't one of those people, haechan should've know that from the start.

the unseen "X" across mark's face has disappeared.

by the time mark finished what he said, haechan didn't even noticed he had zoned out just staring at him. he chuckles to himself, thinking about when mark's done the same.

"haechan? were you even listening?" mark pouts.

"no, sorry," he laughs, "what'd you say."

mark sighs, "i'll tell you later."

—

yes, summer, the time of the year the sun is burning and everyone is happy. no school, no stress. free to do whatever you want. and that's definitely what mark and haechan are doing.

they don't exactly have a label on their relationship yet, though that's mainly because one never actually "asked the other out." they just started acting like couples do.

not having a label has it's flaws, but it works for them. neither of them would "cheat," it's more of a game to see who will get the most jealous first and call them boyfriends. (haechan's been quite close to that point a few times, but he refuses to "lose")

they're happy, that's all that really matters. mark knows when to give haechan space and when to shower him with affection, and it's the same reversed.

college starts soon, for mark at least. haechan's taking a break year, mainly to get more money, a better job, stuff adults have to do.

the two of them are just trying not to think about how they won't be able to spend every minute together anymore. mark's school isn't too far, a little under two hours away, but the distance is a little too big for them to visit each other everyday.

it'd be nicer to reminisce on how summer has been so far. a waterpark being one of the most memorable. they went with a few other friends but somehow they got separated, and it was just the two of them running around together.

haechan's taken down his walls and feels free. he feels like a kid again, not caring about what anyone says, just sticking to who he is.

at first it was a little weird for mark to see haechan so energetic, though it was normal for all of haechan's older friends, it just felt like freshman year again.

everyone seems to be doing well, taeyong doesn't run away from jaehyun anymore and lucas and jungwoo are a little more affectionate than their friends would like them to be.

they also found about what was going on with hendery and yangyang, long story short, they were hooking up in the locker room. wasn't expecting that.

haechan's been hanging out with his friends more, he never noticed how clingy jeno and jaemin were to each other until then. though as long as jeno's happy he doesn't mind.

out of all his friends sangmin is definitely doing the worst, though he is okay. just stressed out. he's so hooked on making yeseok a better person and he doesn't know why. it is working, but he doesn't see the point in it anymore.

which isn't actually too bad of a thing for him anyway, he needs to start focusing on himself. sangmin's just too nice sometimes. haechan's been trying to reverse that, his dislike towards yeseok made it much easier to do.

haechan feels like a different person, wanting to help people (even though it tends to be powered by his anger) not being an ass for no reason, small things changing do to him becoming happier.

it seems that his "gloom boy," persona has been leaving him, a lot of that is thanks to mark.

mark isn't trying to "fix" him, he lets haechan move on at his own pace and supports all his decisions. he just wanted haechan to be happy, and he got an unofficial boyfriend, pretty epic, right?

getting back to real time, mark and haechan are actually on a trip right now. it was for their birthday's. they're staying at a suite in a hotel right on the beach, with a view that peers out to the ocean.

from inside the room they can see the sun just starting to set. haechan stands, watching from behind the glass doors as mark walks up from behind embracing him.

haechan softy smiles to himself and turns around, putting his arms around mark's waist.

mark goes on his toes and kisses haechan's forehead as they waddle around the hotel room.

there's music playing softly from a speaker, the playlist filled with artists like bts, shinee, a ton of kr&b and the occasional western song mark had added.

a sort of nostalgic feeling fills the room, though they've never been in a situation like this before. they miss this moment before it's even ended.

mark pulls haechan closer, his arms over the boy's shoulders, then buried his hand into haechan's neck.

a minute later and they're holding each other's waist's, still slowly spinning around the room before haechan pauses.

hands wander up the sides of mark's arm's, softly gripping the skin. leaving one hand gripping mark's arm, haechan has the other wanders around his body, wanting to hold every part of him

"you're my sun," mark whispers.

haechan chuckles, nodding, not bothering to argue. continuing to just trail his hands along mark's body, slowly moving closer.

he rests his lips against mark's loving the warmth that flowed through him. lips naturally curving up, causing the kiss to only last a few seconds. besides the small pecks mark gave in return, already missing the feeling.

holding mark's face in his hands, haechan softly smiles, a somewhat laugh of relief leaving him. whenever he looks at mark, he can't find himself being able to believe the moment is real. gloom boy never thought he'd ever feel this way.

mark lifts haechan's hand from his face, now holding it by their sides as he walks him out to the balcony. beautiful shades of orange and yellow fill the sky as the sun slowly melts into the horizon.

they sit down, mark mesmerized by the lovely view in front of them. haechan on the other hand, couldn't tear his eyes off of the boy beside him.

haechan relaxed into the chair, just smiling at mark. the way this boy makes him feel is crazy, it makes him want to be the reason mark smiles. it makes him want to live.

"what?" mark asks, eyes wide. he had caught haechan zoning off while just admiring him.

haechan chuckles, smirking a bit, "nothing," he smiles.

seconds past, the two of them just staring at the other. then haechan breaks the tension with one sentence.

"do you know how much i love you?"