Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Magnus learned a long time ago that he would have to fight his own battles. He was in the foster system for several long years, hoping between families before they finally found his biological father. Whether it was a fluke in the system or his father hadn’t wanted anything to do with him until he deemed him worth the time and effort, Magnus never found out. His father claims that he never knew about his existence, not that the inspiring artist ever believed that.

After all, why would anyone want him? His own mother didn’t.

And honestly? With how badly Camille had broken him in high school….

He didn’t think he was worth loving. 

“I’m Alec.” The tall, devastatingly handsome young man is saying or that’s what Magnus thinks he’s saying because the man isn’t using sign language; leaving the other man to rely on his lipreading skills. One of these days , Magnus muses in his head, I’m going to buy a t-shirt that reads I’m deaf and march around campus in it. “I’m here because of that roommate application. Is there a room still available?” 

Licking his lips, the shorter man nods and opens the door to his apartment a little wider to let the other man inside, willing his nerves to calm down. His father had offered to pay for his apartment but Magnus, never one to accept help easily, had turned down the offer. Despite his struggles, he could do this. He wasn’t some helpless deaf person in need of rescuing. He had a part-time job close to campus that paid decently even if it was mostly cleaning and the only hours he could get were midnight shifts four days a week. He didn’t quite have enough to pay rent. Hence the roommate application he posted around campus. If it helped pay rent and let him support himself mostly independently, he could share his space with a hearing person.

Alec, looking slightly nervous, steps inside. He glances around for a few moments, taking in his possible future living conditions. It’s not much. The apartment is on the smaller side. With two bedrooms, one washroom, a tiny kitchen, and a living room. It’s no bachelor pad. However, Magnus has done his best to make it his own. “It’s…colourful.”

Magnus can’t stop the smile that tugs on his lips, nodding again. 

“N-Not that I think it’s a bad thing. I like it…!” Alec is rambling, talking too fast for Magnus to keep up. He raises a hand and luckily, taking the hint, the brunette’s mouth falls shut. 

God, he’s adorable.

The artist turns, snatching his notepad and pen off the coffee table and scribbling down something. He hands the notepad to the taller man, who blinks slowly as he reads what it says out loud. “ Slow down? I….” 

Magnus gestures to his hearing aids with an amused smirk, tapping the side of the silver device on his right ear. If possible, Alec gets even redder which causes the shorter man to laugh softly as he takes back the notepad. Again, writing in it and flipping it to allow Alec to read.

“Relax, pretty boy, I can read lips.” 

The brunette manages a nod, the tips of his ears going red.

Dammit, he’s falling for him already and it’s only been five minutes. Hasn’t he learned anything from his past relationships? 

Magnus’s smile widens even as his mind warns him not to get too attached. He flips the notepad to a new page. So far he’s only met with one other man for the roommate application. Raj hasn’t been the right match. Would Alec? “Let’s sit down and talk, Alexander.”

It’s not a surprise Alec is a perfect application. Good grades and good manners, he has a side job outside of school and is taking literature as well as a few other courses to make his parents happy and to have a backup plan to fall on in case the writing career didn’t work out. They hadn’t really dived into his personal life much outside of that though Magnus had learned that Alec has three younger siblings and that he wanted to go to school close to home. Hence how he found himself at Columbia University, he’s only two years older than Magnus. He has an intense passion for writing and reading; the two had talked about their favourite books and authors for over an hour.

It’s only a few days later that he moves in, Magnus had missed most of the move due to attending his own classes throughout most of the day. By the time he arrived at the apartment, Alec was settling the last of his things in their shared washroom. He turned down Magnus’s offer for help when the younger man asked, saying he had done more than enough to allow him to move in. 

Without much to do, Magnus had curled up on the couch and was lazily sketching. He’s lost in his own little world when he feels someone tap his shoulder, causing him to startle slightly. Looking over, he finds Alec with a curious look on his face. “Sorry. What are you drawing?”

The taller man carefully looks at him full-on, speaking slowly but not too fast. It’s sweet, not being treated like he’s lesser because of his lack of hearing. The raven-haired boy shrugs his shoulders, showing him the sketches of the cats he likes to visit at the shelter.

One of these days he’s going to go out and adopt his own cat. Or several. 

“These are really good.” It’s Magnus’s turn to blush, he signs thank you without thinking, glancing away to gather his nerves. He feels it when the couch dips next to him as Alec takes a free spot beside him. With a sharp inhale to push down the butterflies filling his stomach, Magnus looks toward Alec again. “Can I ask you something?”

Magnus tenses. He can imagine the questions now. Why don’t you speak? Why do you dress like that? What’s up with the hearing aids if they don’t allow you to hear? How did you go deaf? Were you born deaf? Or the worse. Why did I find pads and tampons in our washroom?

Hesitating, fear squeezing his heart, he nods.

“Can you teach me to sign?” The question is so not what he’s expecting to hear that the smaller man stares, jaw-dropping. He’s never met anyone who’s asked that of him. Close friends had only started to learn ASL when it became clear that it was a long-lasting friendship. His father had been forced to learn when Magnus had moved in with him. Seeing his reaction, Alec starts to ramble once more, too fast for Magnus to catch what he’s saying. He’s so adorable.

Magnus huffs despite himself, waving a hand.

Alec stops with a blush, looking sheepish. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He mouths because he left his notepad in his backpack in his room and he doesn’t want to get up to get it. “I can teach you.” 

“Really?” Alec’s whole face lights up like a Christmas tree. Hell, Magnus thinks, how am I supposed to not fall for him?  

Magnus only grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he raises his hand and signs something. Alec mimics his movements like a proper student, frowning in concentration. He looks up at Magnus with a huge, proud grin. “What did I just sign?” 

“Asshole.” Magnus manages to mouth before he can’t contain his giggles any longer.

“Magnus!” Alec’s shock doesn’t last as he starts laughing. “I can’t believe the first word I learned in ASL was a cuss…!”

Magnus only laughs harder.

And that was the start of their friendship.

Chapter Text

Alec wasn’t expecting to like having a roommate so much. He’s always been more of a loner. With only a few friends outside of his family, he preferred to stay inside where he could live through books and escape the problems of the world through literature. 

Nobody was all that surprised when Maryse and Robert announced their divorce in the summer. It had been a long time coming. His father was moving somewhere far away while his mother was looking into buying a smaller home. As the oldest child who graduated from high school and currently attending college, he didn’t need to live there anymore, especially when he already had to drive to and from campus daily. He had been an adult for some time. It was time he started acting like one. 

Though with today's economy, it became apparent that he couldn’t afford to live independently.

It was fate that he found the roommate application on his way out of class one night. Magnus was certainly more colourful than himself, the apartment slashed with colour and art with a weird mix of modern and vintage furniture that somehow worked. Alec can’t help but wonder what his room looks like. Was it as colourful and sparkling as him or was it more calm and toned-down?

Speaking of Magnus, the younger man has a headset on, music so loud that Alec can hear it from where he’s exiting his room, drawing something intensely in the sketchbook he almost always has in his hands.

Huh. He thinks before his brain reminds him that sound is vibration. He’s not hearing the sound, he’s feeling the beat with his body.

“Magnus?” He moves over, waving a hand. It’s not too shocking that it doesn't work. He’s deaf, you idiot. Alec wants to slap himself. It’s going to take some time to get used to. He’s never known any deaf people. Until Magnus, he hadn’t known anything about sign language or deaf culture. Now he has a pile of books and websites about both.

How is he supposed to get his attention without startling him? He thinks back to what one of the videos said. Glancing for the light switch, the taller man makes his way over to it and flicks it off and on once. For a split second, he regrets it. What if the lights turning off caused Magnus to mess up whatever he was working on?

Magnus looks up, head tilting, the brunette can tell he’s in the clear.

“I, huh….I’m about to order something to eat.” He tries to remember the signs though with only a few days into learning the language, he knows he’s not that good so he talks as he signs. “Do you want something? I could order pizza?”

Magnus smiles and god, he’s so beautiful that Alec’s heart nearly skips a beat. How could one person be so adorable and handsome at the same time? It couldn’t be legal. The shorter man picks up his notepad from the coffee table, writing on it as Alec moves close enough to read it.

“You know you don’t have to keep buying or making me food, right? You’re my roommate, not my maid.”

Alec rolls his eyes without heat, a tiny smile tugging on the corner of his lips. “Maybe I like taking care of you.”

Magnus blinks once then blushes. Goodness, did his blush have to be adorable too? Everything about the younger man was perfect. It was like he was made in a factory just for Alec, with all his needs and wants in a man checked off. “Fine. I’ll let you buy me dinner but tomorrow I’m making you dinner.”

“You don’t ha—” He stops talking when the raven-haired man holds up his hand, squinting. He sighs. “Okay. Okay. Deal.”

“Great! Have you ever had Indonesian food?”

He’s lost in what good penmanship Magnus has ( not surprising considering how much the other must have to write to communicate ) that he forgets to answer until there’s a hand waving in front of his face. Fuck. He blushes, realizing Magnus is standing with a concerned frown. Was I daydreaming? About his penmanship? Get a grip, Lightwood. 

“Y-Yeah. I mean…! No. Not really.” 

Magnus makes an amused noise, beaming. “Good. I’m going to take a shower.”

Oh goodness, just thinking about Magnus in the shower has his head spinning. He bites his cheek, hard. Get a fucking grip. This is your roommate. By some miracle, he manages to shutter out, “I, uh, what kind of pizza do you want?” 

Magnus winks, “Surprise me.”

By god, this man was going to be the death of him. 

It’s late the next morning, for once, Alec has no classes throughout the whole day. He had been planning on having a relaxing day. Sleep in, write, finish one of the books he’s been reading and get ready for….whatever one could consider tonight with Magnus. Was it a date? Or was it simply a dinner between friends? His heart is hoping for the first even if he’s not so sure he’s ready to be out yet. Who knows, maybe Magnus will be fine keeping their relationship a secret until Alec is ready to come out. 

Or maybe it’s not a date and he only likes you as a friend. His brain supplies. The brunette huffs. Shut up.

He’s reaching for his shaver when something falls from the medicine cabinet. “Dammit.”

Reaching down,  he picks up the box and frowns as he flips it in his hand. He stares at the box of tampons for a minute, not quite understanding, as his heart slowly sinks.

Oh, Magnus has a girlfriend.

Of course, he has a girlfriend, he’s gorgeous. Alec swallows, quickly putting the item away, trying and failing to ignore the tightness in his chest. Just his luck that the one guy he had real feelings for is in a relationship. The brunette closes his eyes, hating himself for entertaining the idea that someone would be interested in him. Picking up his phone, he started typing in a message to Magnus, clicking sent with a heavy swallow.

[ Hey, sorry, I’m not feeling well. I won’t be able to have dinner tonight. ]

And he turns off his phone, retreating to his room.

Chapter Text

Alec hasn’t come out of his room all night. He hasn’t answered any of his texts either. It’s worrisome, especially when Magnus can’t hear if he’s still moving around on the other side of that closed door. Either way, Magnus decides to give the older man his space, leaving the soup he purchased for Alec on his way home in the fridge with a note telling him to get well soon. 

He doesn’t see him again in the morning until the next morning, the older man nursing a cup of coffee by the time Magnus emerges from his bedroom, half asleep and in much need of his own steaming cup of caffeine. Still clad in a cat-themed onesie complete with a hood with cat eats, he hadn’t bothered to put in his hearing aids yet as he made his way across the apartment and to the open kitchen area.

“How are you feeling?” He types into the note app on his phone since he doesn’t have his usual notepad, having left it on his desk inside his room.

Alec blinks slowly as he reads the message, blushing softly. “Ah….I….a lot better. Thanks.” 

It doesn’t escape Magnus’s notice that he doesn’t meet his eyes. Hell, the brunette can barely look at him. Something twists inside his stomach. He moves past him, turning his attention to the coffee machine as he works up the courage to ask Alec what’s wrong. Before he can do that, the other man is placing his empty mug in the sink, muttering something that Magnus can’t catch due to not being able to see his lips. He’s tossing his backpack over his shoulder and exiting the apartment as Magnus is left staring, the feeling in his stomach only intensifying. 

Had he done something wrong?

He doesn’t manage to see him until a few days later. Working night shifts is a nightmare. It’s hard enough for deaf people to find jobs, let alone transgender ones. Despite his father’s connections, he has yet to get his identity marker and his legal name changed. Meaning he’s marked down as a woman with his deadname on all his files. He had been hired through an employment company designed to help “disabled” people such as himself. He hadn’t had a proper interview with his boss. His workplace had given him a woman’s uniform on his first day, ‘Annisa' sewed in big bold letters on the breast pocket. He was grateful the uniform didn’t include a skirt at the very least. Though nothing could hide that it was very clearly designed for a woman’s body or the name it read. 

When he arrives home at an ungodly hour in the morning he wants nothing more than to slip into his pajamas and sleep until his next class that’s late in the afternoon. His chest hurts from wearing the binder for too long; he can’t see it but he’s confident a rash has formed from the built-up sweat that soaked into the material overnight. He hasn’t been feeling great for the last day or so and working only made that feeling worse. His head is pounding, feeling like someone literally drilling into it. God, the things he would do to get a good night's sleep…

Fate has different plans, it seems. As he stumbles through the front door of their apartment, his body collides with Alec with a surprised yelp that leaves both of them tumbling to the floor. The smaller man crashed directly into the other’s chest. 

It’s disorienting. The room was pitch black and alongside his heavy exhaustion and aching body, he fumbled to get himself sorted. He feels Alec steadying him, gently moving him off his body to stand. The lights in the living room flick on as Magnus closes his eyes, hissing against the sudden flood of light, a hand raising to his head.

There are fingers on his shoulder, he forces himself to open his eyes. Dark eyes meeting hazel ones. Alec is crouched in front of him, saying something but he can’t focus enough through his sleep-hazed brain to read his lips. He shakes his head and tries to push himself to his feet. 

His knees instantly buckle, and the taller steadies him long enough to help him to the couch. He closes his eyes, willing the dizziness to fade. Some time must pass because he flutters his eyes open to find a cold glass of water pressed into his hands, Alec’s eyes full of concern.

Focus.  

He blinks hard, taking the hint and taking slow sips of water. Alec is still talking, probably rambling out of nervousness since he has to know that Magnus can’t hear him. Once the glass is nearly empty and the word is spinning less, the artist holds up a hand, waving him off. He’s too tired to read lips. Too tired to write what he wants to say. 

He was a fool thinking he could live with a hearing person and it would somehow work out. 

He won’t use his voice. 

He hasn’t spoken since…

No, he’s not going there. Magnus sets the glass down, signing. “I’m going to bed.”

He didn't wait to see if Alec understood him. The living room isn’t far from his room. Forcing himself to his feet, he stumbles to the room; refusing to go down until the door is shut behind him. He falls face-first onto the soft mattress and the world fades to black.

His pillow is vibrating. It’s annoying. He wants to sleep. A groan escapes past his lips as he turns over, huffing as he tries to ignore it. The vibrating gets more intense. Really, was it too much to ask for another hour of sleep? With another huff, he reaches for his nightstand, turning off the alarm with a glare sent its way.

He feels like shit.

He slept in his uniform. He didn’t take his hearing aids out. There’s a small ache in his left ear from where it’s been pressed against the pillow as he slept like a deadman. He also slept in his binder, his chest burning with each breath. The skin feels raw and inflamed beneath it. Fuck. Catarina is going to give him another lecture. How many times had the nurse-to-be warned him about proper binder safety? 

He has one hour to get to class. 

He can’t move. The thought alone was dizzying. 

Is he sick? Likely? Did he catch whatever bug Alec had?

It seems to take ages to pick up his phone. After a few rings, Catarina’s face lights up his screen. “Cat.” He signs, sighing pitifully. “I know you’re busy but could you come over?”

Chapter Text

Alec is seriously worried. Magnus looked out of it the last time he saw him and he hasn’t seen the younger man since their run-in early in the morning. He was supposed to take a light jog, a habit he picked up in high school. His siblings would be baffled why he would wake up so early in the morning to run. Truthfully, he liked how peaceful it was. The chill in the air; the sun slowly rising; the quietness of a city that was still asleep. 

He hadn’t gone for a jog that morning as he planned. Instead, he paced outside of Magnus’s room. Debating on going in and checking on the artist. Ultimately, he decided to give Magnus some more time and check on him after class if he has yet to emerge from the bedroom.

Except when he arrives back at the apartment there’s a woman in the kitchen. A gorgeous woman with dark brown skin and black hair twisted into a tight bun wearing nurses' scrubs.

Magnus’s girlfriend.

She’s humming to herself, cleaning up what looks to be a bowl and pot in the sink. He wonders if she’s deaf too. She doesn’t knowledge him when he shuts the front door and locks it. There’s a high chance she simply didn’t hear him. For all his awkward long limbs, he moves quietly, often startling his family members. Fuck. His heart clenches, jealousy bubbling somewhere low in his chest area. He’s not ready to meet the girlfriend yet. Not when he’s not remotely gotten over his crush on his adorably handsome roommate who probably would never talk to him if they didn’t live together.

“Hi…” His mind reels, what did Magnus’s name on the shirt he wore yesterday read? It had to be hers, right? Why else would Magnus be wearing it? He must help her out with what Alec is starting to guess is her second job in his free time. Sudden anger consumes him, protectiveness flaring. Was she making Magnus work her second job? Was she using him? “Annisa, right?”

“Excuse me?” The woman drops the bowl in the sink, whirling around. Her eyes blazing. “What did you just say?”

“Annisa?” He blinks. The woman looks livid. “Don’t you dare say that name.”

“Why not?” He frowns, his own anger rising because what the fuck?

“Do. Not. Say. That. Name.” Her tone drips with venom. If looks could kill, he’d be dead. He can’t help but take a small step back.  “If you have any respect for Magnus at all you don’t use it.”

“What?” He stares. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you?” The woman shakes her head, scoffing. She looks like she wants to say more when something chirps from her pocket. She pulls out her phone with a huff, groaning softly at whatever she reads on the screen. Pushes past Alec, she moves to Magnus’s room but not before pausing at the door. “I swear to god, that if you hurt him or do anything that upsets him, I will hunt you down.”

She slams the door shut before he can answer.

He doesn’t see Magnus until he comes out of his room to make dinner. The smaller man is curled up on the couch under a fluffy-looking blanket, watching what looks like ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ on the TV. Alec has never seen the movie in full though he’s seen bits and pieces from living with Izzy. He pauses, waving to get Magnus’s attention. 

“Are you okay?” He signs carefully. The younger man’s lips twitch into a small but tired smile as he shifts to untangle his arms from the blanket and sign, “Fine, just a cold.”

“That’s good.” Alec switches to talking. “I mean….I hope you feel better soon.”

Magnus nods, sitting up and snatching his notepad off the coffee table. “What were you doing up so early anyways?”

“Jogging.” He tries to finger-spell the word as he talks, blushing. “I, uh, like to jog in the morning.”

“Really?” Magnus laughs. “I’m not one for any of that. I like yoga.”

Fuck, now he’s thinking about Magnus doing yoga stretches shirtless. Get your mind out of the gutter, Lightwood. He realizes at that moment that it’s not fair to shut Magnus out simply because he has a girlfriend. It’s not the artist’s fault that he developed a crush. Magnus doesn’t owe him anything for being his friend. Nor is it Magnus’s fault for being straight. Sighing, he sits and fixes the blanket around the younger. Tries to ignore the guilt in his chest for being such a jerk for the last few days.  “Maybe you can show me a few stretches when you feel better.”

The other’s face lights up and it’s the most beautiful thing. “I would love that.”

Chapter Text

A month passes. His relationship with Alec grows each day as does Alec’s knowledge of sign language. They agree to have weekly (not daily because it wouldn’t work out between classes and work) ASL lessons. Alec had insisted that in return for teaching him ASL that he do more of the cleaning of the apartment. Magnus had finally agreed to meet him halfway on the offer as long as cleaned things like the dishes, did his own laundry and cleaned the washroom every other week. 

For a beginner, Alec has picked up on the language faster than most. 

“Do you want to make out?” 

Magnus, who’s been snacking on popcorn, nearly chokes at what his roommate signs. His cheeks are burning. Sitting up a little straighter, the artist pauses the movie they’ve been watching to take a moment to really look at Alec as he lifts his hands. Signing slower than usual, mindful that his roommate was only a newbie to the language.  “You are asking me if I want coffee?”

“Um, yeah? What did I sign?” The older man’s face goes red in that adorable way of his. Magnus couldn’t stop the smile that tugged on his lips even if he tried. “You asked me if I wanted to make out.”

Please, dear lord, ask me that again one day. 

If it wasn’t for the fear of ruining the friendship he built with Alec, he would sign that except that fear settles on his chest. He can’t ruin this. Alec isn’t just a roommate but a friend. Possibly a best friend. It’s not worth the risk yet, especially when they’re still getting to know each other. It’s easier to play it safe. Perhaps someday in the future, they can explore something more.

Alec’s ears go red. That’s a first. And cue the adorable stammering. The younger laughs, waving a hand to attempt to stop the writer. “Am I going to have to make my own coffee?”

“I, uh…” He’s stammering too much to sign. “I…yeah. Cream and sugar, right?”

Magnus gives a thumbs up, snorting. Dear god, Alec is too cute for his own good. Resuming the movie, he sneaks a look over his shoulder to watch the other man. The relationship he has with Alec is too good to ruin. So he won’t ruin it. He shoves down his daydreams of Alec’s lips on his; of his arms around him; how he would make him feel when they did get to the sex step. He vanishes it all and locks it away. Making extra room for Alec on the couch, he takes the coffee from the writer's hands with him a warm smile, signing. “Thank you.”

The brunette blushes, flashing a small smile. Hands lifting to sign carefully. “You’re welcome, Magnus.” 

“I need to run to the grocery store, is there anything you need?”

“Hold on. I’ll come with you.” Magnus sets his sketchbook down. “I need to get a few things. Do you want to take one of our cars or are we walking?”

“My car.” Alec slides on his jacket, pausing to crouch down and put on his running shoes. Magnus standing up and doing the same. “It’s about to rain so….bundle up. Put on a jacket and grab an umbrella. I don’t want you getting another cold.”

Seeing how the taller man isn’t asking how it’s possible that Magnus can drive when he’s deaf and isn’t acting shocked like most hear people do, Magnus decides not to tease him for being such a mother hen and does as he’s told. Alec opens the door like a true gentleman and the artist follows him to his car. Fortunately, the store is less than a ten-minute drive from the apartment. To the artist’s pleasant surprise, Alec sticks by his side as they made their way down the aisles. While his roommate is distracted by one of the small book displays, Magnus slips into the women’s hygiene aisle and snatches his usual brand of pads. He almost hides them but….why should he? He’s never exactly hidden the fact that he was a transgender man. Alec is living with him; he’s a friend. He can trust him with this side of himself. Hell, he’d be shocked if Alec hadn’t figured it out yet. With all the pride items that decorated a good portion of their apartment, it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out. 

“Do you have everything you need?” Alec asks when he returns, hazel eyes tracking his hands as the other man places the pads on his side of the cart. Steeling himself, the artist nods. 

Except…there’s no reaction outside of a tiny bit of sadness flickering across his face. 

Does he not know? Should I tell him?

“Alexander?” 

He doesn’t get any further because suddenly there’s a young boy running past him and running straight into Alec’s arms, who just manages to crouch in time to catch the boy. Max. His brain supplies. This must be his little brother. An older, gorgeous woman steps up beside them. And his mother. Magnus lets his hands drop, moving closer to the cart to give his roommate a moment with his family. Even if he didn’t want to invade the family moment, he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the conversation anyway.

The writer, bless his heart, seemingly doesn’t want him to feel excluded. 

“This is Magnus. My roommate.” He’s signing as he talks. “Magnus, this is my mother, Maryse. And my little brother, Max.”

“Why are you doing that with your hands?” Max is blurting out, much to Magnus’s amusement. Maryse, he notes, looks embarrassed, turning wide apologetic eyes to Magnus. He waves it off, flicking his eyes to watch Alec smile sheepishly. “It’s called sign language, Max. Magnus is deaf.”

“Oh.” Max looks from his brother to the shorter male, offering a wave. “It’s nice to meet you, Magnus!”

“Max, you don’t need to shout.” Alec sighs, “He still can’t hear you.”

“Sorry.” The youngest Lightwood shrugs, “I like your makeup.”

Magnus beams, signing, trusting Alec to interpret. “Thank you.”

Maryse places her hands on her youngest shoulders as he mimics the sign with a smile. Her expression is unreadable. Something twists inside the artist’s stomach. “Come on, Max, let them continue shopping. You’ll see Alec this weekend for your soccer game.”

The youngest Lightwood pouts, “Can Magnus come too?”

Alec glances at Magnus, who’s still watching Mayrse warily so he doesn’t see the writer’s reply. Whatever he says has the young boy pouting with a small nod and moving to hug them both tightly. “See you later!”

Maryse has a tight smile on her face. “I’ll see you this Saturday, Alec. It was….nice to meet you, Magnus.”

She walks off with Max in tow. Magnus takes a deep breath, not wanting to dwell on whatever that was. Was it racism? Something to do with his gender identity or the way he dressed? Was it because he was deaf? Whatever it was….it could be figured out later. If anything it only confirmed that he couldn’t have a future romantic relationship with Alec if his mother didn’t like him. “Shall we continue shopping?”

The older man blinks slowly, “Lead the way.” 

Chapter Text

“So….” Jace had stopped by after Max’s soccer game to help Alec move his old dresser into the bedroom. The other one he had was a little too big for the small bedroom, making things more cramped than needed. “You’re roommate is totally gay, right?”

Alec stares, choking on his water. “W-What?! What gives you that impression? You haven’t even met him!”

“Look around, man.” The blonde rolls his eyes. “There’s so much Pride merch.”

The older man frowns, really taking a moment to look around the apartment. His brother isn’t wrong. There’s a rainbow doormat in front of the front door, a colourful pride artwork that Magnus most likely made above the hanger on the wall and there’s even a bright, neon rainbow sign above the door to Magnus’s room. He swallows, shifting. How had he never noticed before? Maybe because you’re constantly distracted by your pretty roommate. “He’s not. He has a girlfriend.”

“So he’s pan.” Jace finishes his glass of water. “Or bi or whatever.”

“Or he could be an ally.” The brunette points out, taking his adoptive brother’s empty glass to wash it in the sink. Unfortunately, the apartment was too small for a dishwasher. Not that it was a big deal for Alec. Cleaning helped relax him most of the time.

“Dude.” Jace nudges his shoulder. “No ally has this much Pride stuff.”

“Hmm.” The writer hums because why get his hopes up? Even if he was pansexual or bisexual it didn’t change the glaring fact that he had a girlfriend. “Even if he wasn’t, I don’t think I’m his type.”

“And what is his type, wise guy?” Jace, alongside Izzy, were the only two people in the world that knew Alec’s sexuality. Though he was sure his parents had their suspicions considering he only ever dated one person in high school. Lydia was a close friend ( and still was ), the two “dated” for less than a year out of pressure from their families before deciding to part ways. One awkward kiss and hand-holding were the only real thing they’d gotten into a physical relationship. The taller man sighs heavily, drying the cup with a dish towel. “Women who snap at you for simply saying a name. Can we drop this subject?”

“Jeez.” His brother rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

Once it’s been pointed out, Alec can’t stop wondering and noticing the little things. He hasn’t seen that woman around since that strange encounter a month and a half ago. Was Magnus even dating her? Did he have sexual relationships with her? Or was it an open relationship? Was Magnus just one of those people who dated and never settled down? 

“That woman…” Alec finds himself blurting out a few days later as he watches Magnus make dinner. The younger man had insisted he made dinner for their ASL lesson because he was starving and because he wanted to do something nice. “The one who was here when you were sick…”

“Cat?” Magnus peers at him curiously. “She is in med school. I don’t get to see her much. Why are you asking about her?”

Cat? Holy shit. Was Magnus cheating on her? Is that why she got so mad about Annisa? Did she know Magnus was cheating? Oh god, did I accidentally tell her that Magnus was cheating? No wonder she hates me.

His mind spins. “Nothing. I was just wondering.”

Relax. He could be poly. Stop jumping to conclusions.

Fuck. How does one even go about asking that? By the time Alec has lifted his hands with a question on the tip of his tongue, Magnus has resumed dinner. The writer sighs softly and flips to the next paper in the ASL book he’s been reading. Maybe he’s reading too much into it. Maybe it’s more complicated than it seems. Dinner is ready ten minutes later, the artist presents the plate on the small dining table. Alec’s stomach can’t help but growl as he sets aside the book, picking up a fork. “It smells good.”

He hasn’t quite mastered signing with one hand yet. Magnus seems to understand, flashing that stunning smile of his as he sits across from him. “You look like you have something you want to ask me.”

Was he really so easy to read? The writer blushes, picking at his dinner. “Are you…” Fuck, he doesn’t know how to ask. He couldn’t just ask if he was poly or if he was cheating, could he? It seemed wrong. “I…I was just thinking that maybe you and I could go on a double date.”

Lydia still owes him a favour for all the times he covered for her in school all those times she skipped class to make out with her crush. One fake date surely wouldn’t kill her.

“With…each other?” Magnus looks wary and dare he say…a little hopeful? “And another couple?”

“No. I mean….you have a girlfriend.” Alec forces himself to sign despite how hot his face gets. Magnus is staring at him like he has three heads. It’s not helping. A voice in the back of his head warns him to stop talking ( or signing, in this particular case ).  “Annisa. C —”

The young man flinches, cutting him off. “That’s not my name.” 

What? 

“Magnus.” Alec sighs. “Be serious. Your other girlfriend…Cat, she flipped out when I —” 

“Stop!” Magnus looks like he’s on the verge of tears. “What are you talking about? I’m not dating anyone.”

“ I saw the tampons and pads. Come on, why else would you have those?” The writer counters. His heart twists at the hurt look across his roommate’s face. A horrible feeling tightens in his chest. Was he making a massive mistake? “Unless you have a girlfriend. No guy casually keeps those around. And that uniform you wear…it belongs to her, right?”

“You don’t know anything!” Magnus stands, tears shining in his eyes. “Those are mine.”

His? 

Whatever confused expression crosses his features has Magnus rolling his eyes as he rubs his face with the side of his hand. Oh fuck, he’s trembling. Alec dimly notices. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. His hands are frozen, eyes wide. The younger man shakes his head, a bitter laugh passing his lips and…

He’s taking off his shirt. 

At first, the brunette doesn’t recognize what he’s seeing. Around the other’s chest is what looks like a sports bra except the chest is flat. Or that’s fucking the point. His brain whispers. It’s a chest binder.

Oh shit. Oh no…

It clicks into place. The pieces of the puzzle forming. “Your….”

“A woman.” It’s not the words that snap Alec out of his thoughts. It’s because Magnus spoke. He talked with his voice. The younger man is shaking so much that he looks like he’s about to fall over at any second. Alec stands, reaching for him. “No. Magnus, I’m sorry…I…”

His roommate spins around, clutching his discarded shirt to his chest and dashes to his room. The door slams shut with a loud bang. Alec sinks back into his seat, running a hand through his hair, his dinner forgotten. His appetite was lost anyway. He closes his eyes, guilt consuming him. 

“Nice going, Lightwood. Now you’ve lost your only other friend.”

God, I’m such an idiot.