Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ch.1

Oops. (Pilot)

-/-

Nick POV

How did I get here? I asked myself for the millionth time. As counselor David motherfucking Anderson had his pistol trained on my precious shoulder melon.

"So... This is awkward~," I started, trying to calm the situation. I pointed to the gun, "Can you~, ya know~?" I mimed lowering the gun.

"Nicky~!" Sky's voice came from the portal.

Shit~, "David!" he actually jumped at his name, "Put that thing down before-"

But it was far too late as Sky walked through the portal, Sky Skipper, great dragon polymorphed as a dark-skinned human woman, standing just over 8 feet, silver hair, hair, tail, and scales, and was wearing her red loincloth and chest wrappings.

"Beach time!" she yelled with all the excitement of a woman ready for a break, only to see a metal space station. Looking over she spotted David pointing his gun at me. At first, she didn't know what was going on but after a moment her pupils turned to slits.

It all happened so fast.

One second Sky was behind me the next she was grabbing Anderson's gun, crushing it like it was wet clay, causing Shepard to react by reaching for his gun only to make the classic blunder of forgetting her tail, so you could imagine his shocked look as Sky's dragon appendage, covered in scales that were tougher than steel, came up and slap the stupid off his face, launching him across the steel floor. This of course got Grunt to roar and charge, and bless his dual hearts, he tried his best, but you shouldn't fight a dragon using only your fists. Sky grabbed him by his armor and launched him into the lake, he immediately started treading water.

"Someone should save him..." nobody did anything, "... you guys suck!" I removed my sandals and shirt and dived in after him. He looked terrified, clearly, he's never been in a large pool of water, grabbing him around the waist I dashed upwards exploding out of the water and landing on dry ground, Grunt immediately started coughing out water. "You're not supposed to breathe in the water!" I huffed.

"Shut up!" he coughed.

Looking over to Sky I found Garrus and Solus on their back, and Sky grabbing Miranda and Jack by their necks, mouth open, and ready to unleash a full-powered dragon-breath down their throats.

"ENOUGH!" I roared, unleashing my intimidation at full power, freezing everyone in place. Standing to my full height I looked at a startled Sky. "Down," I ordered. She tried staring me down, but I didn't relent. She gave a soft whimper, but still let the women fall to the ground, and huffed walking back to Jak and Dogmeat. I leashed my power and took a deep breath, "Now-" Grunt roared and rush me from behind only to phase right through me and dropped to the floor, "-My name-" I started, as I walked over to Grunt placing my foot on his hump keeping him in place, "is Nick Walters, interdimensional traveler, mage, very wet."

Here we go again.

-/-

Skyhold... needed a bit of a cleanup.

One year~, it took one whole year of negotiations with Anora for Telsa to finally get the land where Skyhold was located. I of course was on vacation~, we visited the city of the broken mountain, returned to Rezum, visited Jak and Julee's parents, Jasmine had a bouncing baby boy, Jeff, for a moment I thought he was going to look purely human but John explained that Tieflings grew their tails and horns starting at the age of four.

We eventually returned after months of not fighting darkspawn underground, drinking alcoholic drinks at a resort, and just enjoying life traveling the world, so by the time I got back I was ready for some castle fun, unfortunately, the Orlesians were causing a stink because I was too close to their border, but that only made Anora happier to sell the land to me. Orlais demanded Haven if I'm taking Skyhold. Anora laughed so hard she snorted at the Orlesian ambassador. Haven was inside Ferelden, passed the frostback mountains, no, that wasn't a fair deal.

Now, I wasn't in the room where it happened, but if Cailan was to be believed, Anora tore that man a new asshole and had him crying by the end of the meeting. Now, Cailan wasn't a good liar by any measure, which is why he always leaves our monthly game of Wicked Grace poorer, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Eventually, Anora and Telsa came to an agreement in which they both get something, and Orlais gets to pay.

Skyhold was huge, the game does it no justice. It had a gazillion rooms, and everything was broken in one way or another, Jak, Astral, and Sky were ecstatic though. Skyhold was close enough to Sky's other cave where she could move most of her things over, Jak loved the aesthetics, and the fact that it was quite difficult to siege. I just had a legion of golems clean up the rubble so I could start repairing the place.

Skyhold

Known as Tarasyl'an Te'las ("the place where the sky is held up/back") in ancient elvish, Skyhold is a fortress located in a stretch of the Frostback Mountains near the Dales, on the border between Orlais and Ferelden, controlling a mountain pass from the kingdom to the empire.

5,943/50,000 Durability

Love me tenderly, this place was messed up~. We found evidence that this used to be a settlement for elves, dwarves, and some mages. I just started using the Reparo charm on everything, and when that couldn't work, I just used materials and my construction skill to fix up the rest. It didn't take long before the castle was looking brand new. Dagna, Julee, and I, started going hog wild slapping durability and mana-absorbing runes on everything, which we connected to the massive Arc Reactor under the castle that was used to power the atmospheric bubble that circled the valley of Skyhold, keeping it an average 72 degrees. With the temperature at my most comfortable, I started adding defenses, I wouldn't put it past Orlais to send people to harass me so I had 4 dozen robo-golems, 4 dozen knight golems, and a full legion of earth golems patrolling the valley. With the golems in place, I started placing Firebolt turrets on every corner of Skyhold and on top of a few platforms I made along the Orlesian side of the path.

So, you can imagine my surprise when a conga line of a few hundred people started knocking at my gate.

"Hum, Nick Walters?" the leader asked.

Human farmer

Steven of Lothering

Lvl: 4

Age:54

Steven is a farmer, his father was a farmer, his grandfather was a farmer, and his child will most likely be a farmer. Born in Lothering he believed he would die in Lothering but when the King warned of an upcoming Darkspawn raid, he got his family to Redcliffe and waited for the blight to blow over, but now that it has, he has found that his lands have been blighted and unsafe to work.

He's nervous about meeting you.

"Yes~, how may I help you?" I asked through the little door flap I put in the main gate to see visitors.

"Um, Queen Anora asked me to give you this," he answered passing a letter through the door.

"Sir Walters of Skyhold, I, queen Anora, daughter of blah blah blah, skip skip skip, as a baron of Ferelden you are required to help her people in a time of need, yep yep, uh-huh uh-huh, words~. If you have any questions, please send a letter and I'll get back to you in 2 to 5 business years. 2 to 5 years! I got a goddamn phone! You got a phone!?" the nerve! I looked back to Steven who was now in the background with a bunch of needy hungry kids taking center stage. GODDAMNIT! "Just... come inside" I sighed.

After calling and getting sent to voice mail for the fifth time, I called Telsa, who explained to me that because I now owned land it was my responsibility to use it to provide for the people of Ferelden. Meaning that the valley needed to produce something, meat, crops, metals, anything Ferelden could use or sell, and since Ferelden had an excess number of farmers and with their fields tainted, they needed a new place to work... and I just raised the heat to a decent farming temperature.

So, I got to work. First things first Skyhold wasn't a place to have normal civilians, it has the rooms but you couldn't really farm up there, the fortress was built on a literal mountaintop, like someone sliced off the top of the mountain and slapped a fort on it, the farmers didn't believe that you could grow anything on its poor soil. My next thought was the Valley, Skyhold was in between two mountains, now I'm not a professional farmer, but I did learn that loose soil travels down due to rain and natural erosion, meaning that the best soil would be located in the valley. Unfortunately,~, with my atmospheric bubble warming things up, any snow trapped in the mountains was melting causing a bit of flooding causing a small lake in the valley.

So, I thought around it, if I couldn't make farms in the valley, I would make them out of the mountains themselves. Sereda and I started carving the mountains into terrace steps, making them flat enough for people to farm and have homes. We also made paths for run-offs, but the soil still wasn't the best so we had to go down into the valley and start shoving as much topsoil into large magical expanded crates and spread it over the new farmland.

It all went pretty smoothly, if time-consuming. By the end of the month, I was able to finish my little village and get the moochers out of my castle, but I forgot that they needed something to farm so I bought a load of seeds from the Gamer's Store with a good chance of growing in this temperature and condition, it was kinda random, grapes, corn, potatoes, rice, barley, and wheat. Boom, nailed it! Unfortunately, I somehow forgot that people need to eat and crops needed time to grow!? So, I had to bring in wildlife to the valley below for people to hunt and eat as they grew food, and after that should be self-sufficient, but since I'm now in a goddamn Sims game, the people needed a way to trade with the outside world, Sky Valley, as the villagers now called it, had great natural defenses but those very same defenses blocked it from the outside world, so I needed to create a train station in the mountains which helped connect Skyhold to the rest of Thedas, but surprise-surprise people needed to work there so things were filed correctly and delivered, so I hired some people, but guess what!? The people I hired, worked at the farms! So, I made golems to help the farmer whose children were now working for me, but guess what, AGAIN! The people I hired didn't read at my preferred level so I had to teach them to read and write to an appropriate level.

After four months of putting out metaphorical fires, I was finally able to just put up my feet and relax, so it was a perfect moment for a group of elves to knock on my door. Apparently, these were Elven lands and I was trespassing, and if I didn't leave, I would be evicted. I then proceeded to get my origami skill as I folded every fool who had the balls to try and steal my house. 49 whimpering elves later we came to a mutual understanding that this was now my house and they had to live with that, but I wasn't a monster so I created a nice section to the already growing village for Dalish elves that were passing through the valley, a bit too nice as some didn't leave making the village their permanent home. Things were going pretty well for a while; the Dalish elves lived in these parts for a while so they knew the lands better than the villagers, so they handled the hunting and gathering, as the villagers handle the farming and livestock.

The first problem came when a chantry official arrived in town trying to establish a chantry, causing strive with the dalish elves. I stomped on that shit hard. I made it clear that no religious organization had the right to make any rules in the valley, this was a place of peace, pray to whoever you want, but if you cause problems for others, I'll become the solution. They didn't take me seriously, the chantry official started preaching about how the Elves were heretics and I, a freak of nature, I stripped them of all their clothes put a chain around their neck, and had a golem march him out of town and toward Val Royeaux with a letter about teaching their failures to follow rules.

After that people tended to follow my very few iron-clad laws.

Freedom of speech

Freedom of religion

Don't be an asshole

And that was it, the village had other laws but I let them handle that.

The Chantry didn't seem to like my advice and sent a group of mercenaries led by templars to teach me a lesson, I returned their heads. I wasn't in the Chantry's good books, and since the Chantry owned Orlais, I wasn't in their good books either, not that I cared. They sent a letter stating that they would not do business with me. I laughed and had Telsa markup everything that goes to Orlais by 1000%, I got another letter from the empress that the Chantry didn't speak for the empire, but I didn't care, I'm petty like that, so I kept the markup, if Orlais can't control their pet religion they should handle the consequences.

It wasn't long before a new group of people showed up to Sky Valley, the Avvar mountain people came into the valley probably following animal migration, they were a bit surprised to see a group of people make the valley their home, with it being empty for such long time. Wanting to make a good relationship with somebody this year, I created an outpost for them to stay. They traded with the village and vice visa, there was a small incident wear an Avvar woman kidnapped a man she was dating, turned out she wanted to marry him, we had a celebration, I held nothing back.

It was four weeks after the wedding when the next problem showed up. A kid, no older than 8 accidentally lit his hair on fire, he was ok, nothing a bit of healing hands couldn't fix, but the question finally came up, what do we do with any children who show magical potential? Some wanted to send them to the tower in Ferelden, others didn't trust the tower after the demon infestation, and some of the Dalish didn't want their children to go somewhere they didn't trust, they all had valid points so I came up with a solution. If the kids couldn't go to the tower, the tower had to come to the Valley, so with Telsa's and Neria's connections I hired as many magic teachers as I could magic at the new school I created across the valley to the other mountain, that way the kids had plenty of space to practice their skills and give the parents peace of mind.

Of course, I called the school Hogwarts, duh, but it didn't stay a place for witchcraft and wizardry for long, as more people arrived in the village thanks to the train station, they needed to learn more skills. So, I added a few more classes to the school, nothing too serious... at first. There was the regular, math, writing, and reading, with my Teaching skill it didn't last more than a month for people to gain literacy and the mind for finances, any kids with magic had to take a few more such as, Magic 101, Charms 1, Fade logic, and basic fighting spells.

It wasn't until one of the kids who went for reading lessons asked if I could help teach them how to use a sword, and things kinda spiraled out of control after that. Suddenly there were classes for swordsmanship, archery, advanced farming, cooking, marketing, novel writing, butlering, merchant training, rune making, languages, cartography, exploration, music, just about everything under the sun, and some stuff under the ground, like mining. I had Telsa hiring people like crazy, at first, she was annoyed at all the hiring I was doing for such a small village, but then her eye gained a scary gleam. A week later we got a royal message, from Cailan himself as the messenger, the little village was in awe as the King of Ferelden came to their little slice of nowhere.

I was a little suspicious when he asked if he could see my new school. I still showed off of course, I presented its artful walls and smooth marble floors, its beautifully decorated classrooms, dorms, and Practice halls, its courtyards and massive dining hall and kitchen, I doubt Rowlings would call this her Hogwarts but it was mine. It was also protected using golems, runes, and holy magic.

since Hogwarts started off as a magic school and not wanting any demonic accidents I had, Ayla, Ava, and Sereda bless it from evil as well as having Magic Dream catchers throughout the dorms and hallways, no mage had said anything about demons in our bi-monthly meetings, so I guess it was working. Turns out the crown wanted Hogwarts to be the rival to the University of Orlais and was willing to front some of the bills, I agreed to it but only if it was opened to everyone, civilizations that only have a smart few tend to live in the dark, if everyone had Intelligence finding Wisdom was easier.

Agreeing with me, Cailan made Hogwarts Ferelden's prestige university, Hogwarts grew nearly five times its original size. In less than a year the little village on a mountainside was growing into a city, I of course grew the city way from the farms. Unfortunately, this growth came with its own problems, for the first time in a long time, there was a report of serious crime in the fast-growing village. So, I needed to make a police force, golems were muscle not guardsmen, so I started making more calls, one of those calls was to Duncan, with Grey Warden love being at an all-time high I asked if he could send some trainers to teach people to keep the peace, it cost me 4 more griffons and a warden outpost but I got a team of Grey Wardens being flown in by Aeden, Morrigan, and their baby girl, not gonna lie, the baby being a girl was a complete fluke. I didn't have any power over that and wasting my wish on a god dragon that tried to eat me wasn't on my list of things to do. Dogmeat and Pancake were happy to see Princess again, most of the pups were gone now finding their own partners and having their own adventures, the only one still with their parents was the one next to baby Joyce Cousland, the second girl to be born to the Cousland clan in a century.

Aeden's wardens were a colorful bunch of misfits, Oghren was here, which explains why Felsi was here in her new bar and baby, Sigrun a female dwarf with all the restraint of a child in the middle of a sugar rush, Nathaniel Howe, was... grumpy, for a lack of a better word, I guess your father becoming a devil and trying to take over the world tended to not endear you to people, Velanna a dalish elf that shook my hand so much I thought I was going to lose it, apparently her sister was infected by the blight but after Theron and Aeden shoved enough Cure-All potion down her throat to cure a dragon she got better. It was good to see that my Cure-All potion could help even those who's been infected by monsters like the Magisters Sidereal. And lastly was a young human woman by the name of Mhairi, I thought she died in the game, it became clear after saw that she had Chi. Man, those wardens work fast.

As I gave them your griffons, I bestowed them with power causing their states to skyrocket, if I'm hiring Wardens, you better believe I'm getting the best for my buck. With the news of Warden-Commander Aeden Cousland coming to teach the new city guard, long lines stretched around the Guard HQ to apply for the police department. I made a warden outpost on top of the mountain, giving the wardens privacy and a place to use their griffons without the worry of crushing someone.

Sky City was coming along great. Which led me to my master plan, of not working anymore! I didn't want to do this in the first place, nearly a year of non-stop work led me to believe that any ruler had no life and was obsessed with watching numbers go up and down, crime down, money up, people up, magic accidents down, magic children up, Orlesian hate up, Ferelden graduates up, I was tired of it! I just wanted to take the women in my life out on dates and laze around, occasionally make cool things with the people I love, explore, and just have fun. So, when Sky City finally reach my desired population, I created a council, the plan was simple, Sky City was split into ten different sections, these sections would vote for a representative, the representatives would work for the betterment of the city, they only had 3 years in office before being replaced, with only being able to fill an office once, I then had Telsa hire someone to manage the books, someone to handle any repairs the city needed, someone to handle community upkeep, like sports, football or what my American soul called soccer, was growing crazy popular, and festivals. Satinalia was around the corner and people were excited about the crops being harvested, and with my uncaring want to haggle I just bought 80% of its wholesale and then donated to the City's party planner, which was Neria at the moment.

I created the thing everyone hated, bureaucracy. And that bureaucracy would make anything coming my way have to make a stupid number of hoops, to the point that it would be easier just to hire someone to handle that problem. Sure, I was still around for important decisions and had the power to veto stupid laws, but at the end of the day the city could work without me.

So, as I sat on my couch with the women in my life, my feet up on my ottoman, cool drink in my hand, ready to piss the day away, Theron called.

"I found one."

-/-

Kirkwall was a big city, an old city. You could see its architecture slowly changed as you got further away from the Hightown. It also smelled, not just of shit, but... blood? I could almost taste the copper in the air. I didn't even land near the city, I just flew off to the nearby mountain, but just passing Kirkwall made my stomach churn, how could anyone live in a place like that?

Mother Base caused a bit of a commotion, but Kirkwall already had a train station, so seeing flying objects wasn't new. Theron met me over Sundermount a mountain just north of Kirkwall on his griffon, he then led us to his clan's camp. The Sabre clan was... rough around the edges, only having about 40 members, they didn't trust humans very much but they gave me the benefit of the doubt as Theron and Tamlen vouched for me.

"So, you got something for me?" I asked.

"You have my island?"

"Pish, you have so little faith in me?" he gave me an eyebrow, "I had my golems start construction the moment I got the land for Skyhold." I passed him some photos, "didn't want you doubting me."

"Looks good," he complimented my work, as he passed the photos to his clan. "Some of my clan are unhappy with giving up an ancient elven artifact, but seeing what they can receive, may calm them down."

"Oh, there's no need to worry~, I'm not keeping the eluvian, or did you forget what happened to you? No, I'm just going to study and create my own, safer that way I think. If they want, they can be there when I study it, saves me the trouble of hiring assistants to take notes, I was just going to use some of the rune study students."

"you're an insane professor," he drawled.

"Thanks~. So, let's get this thing loaded up and get your clan room and board and get back to Skyhold."

"nnnn~, about that?" he groaned.

"Let me guess, it's trapped behind a magical barrier that you couldn't break?" I asked summoning a magical tool kit.

"No, nothing so... fantastical."

"Deep roads?" I summoned a flamethrower.

"Nope."

"Noble's bedroom?" I put a rose between my lips and batted my eyes.

"incorrect."

"Vault?" summoning a tux and blowtorch.

"negative."

"We're going to be here all-day Theron, what's going on?" I shoved everything back into my inventory.

"My sister has it." I brought back the rose only for Theron to slap it out of my hand, "No, none of that. She some how recovered enough of the pieces of the eluvian that messed me up and put it back together."

"A self-healing rune?" Julee asked, getting more into the conversation.

"If it had one, I didn't see it. In fact, I didn't see any runes," he answered.

"Mmm, hidden in the mirror's design?" Dagna thought out loud.

"Decent security, making it difficult to copy or study," Lyna added.

"So... where is she?" I asked. I knew where she was, I just didn't want to go.

-/-

Kirkwall was worse on the ground, the only people who came with me and Theron were Dagna, Ayla, and Jak. Walking up to the northern gate we were greeted by templars instead of by city guards. I didn't like how they ordered me to get on my knees, I of course acted like a gentleman.

"I'm not your mother last night!"

After beating them unconscious no one stopped us as we walked through the city. I wasn't in the mood to explore the city but Jak and Ayla had the 'exploration bug' so we ended up visiting Hightown, where more templars showed up, which we used to decorate the floor, Lowtown, where more templars showed up, which we used to decorate the floors, we finally reached the Alienage where, surprise-surprise, more templars showed up, which we used to decorate the floors. I'm guessing this is where any templars that left Ferelden were stationed.

Knocking on Merrill's door we find out she wasn't even home.

"Stop right there! You crazy- Nick?" turning I found Garrett Hawke, his golem guard, and his little group of misfits. There was Fenris, the lyrium-tattooed elf with the voice for acting, Aveline, the guardswoman, Varric, the renowned author with the chest hair of an 80's rug, Isabella, the pants-less one, Sabastian, the chantry's whipping boy, and finally, Merrill, the girl I was looking for, Anders, Bethany, and Carver were missing.

"Garrett!" I greeted, "Good to see you got to Kirkwall safe, didn't get many calls after you left Ferelden."

He pulled out his phone, the poor thing looked like someone crushed it with their bare hands. "Remember how I told you I got help getting to Denerim, well it was Flemeth, had to do a job for her in return, and she then destroyed it, because... reasons, I don't know, she just said she didn't want me telling people she was in the Free Marches or whatever."

"Sounds about right." I tossed him a new Mk.6 mirror phone, it was bigger, had better picture resolution, simple games, some of my books, and it could take one hell of a beating. He immediately took a picture of himself.

"Theron? What are you doing here?" Merrill asked, taking the lead.

"I'm here for the eluvian Mary," he had his arms crossed, back straight, full glare, he just when full big brother.

"What? No! I almost have it!"

"ENOUGH!" I think this was the second time I've ever seen Theron angry. "That thing nearly killed me and Tamlen. Enough is enough. You're handing that thing over."

"... No." her voice was shaky but absolute.

The thunderous look that grew on Theron's face made me take a step away. He didn't say a word, just turned grabbed her door, and ripped it straight off the house.

"Theron! NO!" Merrill yelled, running in after him. From the doorway, I found out the living conditions of the elves here were not great, small, cramped, and barely enough to fit one person. Theron came around a corner with the eluvian in one hand and Merrill trying to stop him with the other. "Theron! Please!"

He showed me the eluvian.

Elven eluvian

Durability 29/400 (brittle)

MP 0/1000

Password: none

The elves of Arlathan left no roads to travel between their cities. Instead, they used these enchanted mirrors to communicate and travel from great distances, using a type of magic different from that of the modern Circle of Magi or even the Tevinter Imperium.

Do you wish to repair elven eluvian?

8 silver ingots, 20 pounds of copper salts, 20 pounds of glass, 1000 MP, and runic repair (expert)

Taking the mirror, I popped the glass out of the frame before accepting.

The mirror lit up like the sun morphing and changing as my skill took effect, missing runes flashed through my mind, adding to my rune skill. It took a moment but the mirror was back to its original 10 feet, I then made a frame around it made of magic Redwood, which I added runes that kept it from falling.

"How~?" Merrill looked awestruck.

"New password, butts-butts-butts," the mirror flashed before powering down. I nodded to Theron, "It's good, the runes are strange, like the elven armor, but with enough time we could figure them out."

"What runes?" Ayla asked, "There was a flash and then it was bigger."

"I'll explain later. Alright Theron a deal's a deal, let's go get you your island and the hell out of this place." I said, shoving the mirror into my inventory. "How anyone lives with this smell is beyond me."

"Not everyone has magic toilets," Theron huffed letting Merrill go.

"Your new house does~," I teased.

"The eluvian!?" Merrill screamed.

I patted my chest, "Nice and safe in my hammerspace." I gave Theron time to talk with Merrill, as I met with Hawke and his friends. "oof~, big boy's been through an ordeal~," I commented looking over Hawkes golem.

"Uhm, is Merrill going to be, okay?" Hawke asked looking over to an annoyed Theron giving his younger sister a dressing down.

"She's fine, Theron's just been through a lot, seen more than any normal man should, he knew a bit more of what his sister was messing with. Have you ever been cut by a blade?" he nodded, "how did you react when your brother played with one?"

"Not... well," he admitted.

"Now imagine if it was the taint." Hawke had to take a deep breath, "yeah, not many do-overs."

"Carver... joined the Wardens," He admitted, "Some stuff happened, he's ok, just... it was way too close."

"Theron's a Warden commander, maybe he can keep an eye on him, ya know where he's stationed?"

"Weisshaupt, he had to go through basics."

"You still have his number?"

He blinked at me for a moment, "No, but I think Bethany does, I'll go get it from her."

"Nick, I'm ready to leave this place," Theron huffed, it seemed like he and Merrill are two minds about what happened.

"Well, it was good to see you Hawke, here's a little something~," I reached over and enhanced his Mk.1 knight golem, to an Mk.4 knight golem, "Faster, stronger, and can do math."

"2+2=4," it spoke in a monotone voice.

"Ok... weird but ok," he muttered.

"Wait! We're just going to let him go?" Aveline asked, "We've been following his trail of destruction since the northern gates!"

"I mean... are you going to stop him?" Hawke asked, "You know, the hero of the blight? The owner of the train system? The man with an army of unstoppable golems?"

"I get it."

"Do you? Do you really?" Hawke teased.

"Hum, excuse me, mister Walters, rumors say you worked with the Makers chosen, is that true?" Sabastian asked.

"Ayla! Ya got a fanboy over here!" I called out.

"Ugh," Ayla groaned. "What do you want?" The first time someone came to her praising her name and asking for her help drove her into a stuttering blushing mess. It's been two years since then, and they still come asking for more, nowadays she has a meet and greet on the last day of the month and helps at the hospital 4 days out of the week.

"oh! Uh... hey."

.

.

.

"Okay goodbye. Nick, can we go?"

"Wait! What is the Maker like!?"

"Patient, kind, understanding, doesn't hate mages, doesn't hate elves or dwarves," she answered with the enthusiasm of a dead fish.

"Oof, sorry about her, it's her day off and the templars have been harassing us since we got here. Can you send a letter to whoever is in charge and tell them that the templars here are a little-"

"-a lot-" Ayla corrected.

"Crazy~," Jak finished.

"I'll... see that he gets the message," he muttered.

"You expect me to believe she's the Maker's chosen, probably just a mage with delusions of grandeur," Fenris snared.

"I don't give a fuck what you believe," Ayla cursed, snaring right back. "I don't need your approval, ya mopey, greasy-haired, shitty tattoo-having, stick figure of an elf." Fenris narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh~, what's wrong? Don't like being insulted, ya pencil neck, sword swallower! Your mother should have swallowed you!"

"What did you say?" Fenris growled gripping his sword.

Oh, I'm sorry, you can't hear me over your shattering ego, you might want to get a colonoscopy for all that butthurt, I'd call you a cunt, but you have neither the warmth nor the depth, I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you!"

"OKAY!" I pulled Ayla away, "Clearly Oghren has been teaching you a thing or two. Hawke you might have to give your friend some burn cream... for his burn." I joked pulling Ayla away, "Hey, hey~, sweety? what's wrong? You've never been this upset at someone for questioning your legitimacy before?" I whisper, patting her hair and looking her in the eye.

"I, I don't know? This city's the worst, constant harassment, the smell, I hate this place!" she buried herself into my chest, "Can we just go?" she whimpered.

I pulled her close, "of course." I lifted her onto my chest. "Hawke, I'm gonna have to go, no offense but I hate it here, everyone's on edge, templars rule the city, guards do nothing, and the smell of blood is giving me a headache. I wish you the best of luck, but if you want my advice, leave this hell hole, and go somewhere nicer, at this point a cave in the ass end of nowhere sounds better than here." I passed him a bag of gold, "give this to Merrill, I did kinda just steal her mirror." I gave him a nod and left without saying anything else.

I don't know what it is about Kirkwall, but that place had a corrupting influence.

I blame the smell.

-/-

I'm happy getting the hell out of the Free Marches. After leaving Kirkwall, Ayla was able to calm down and apologize for her attitude. Yeah, something is wrong with that place.

Arriving back at Skyhold I gave Theron and his clan the grand tour of their new castle. I spent the next month, teaching them all her features from the navigation system, which was similar to my trains with the same user-friendly system, to the engines. Theron's castle had one huge arc reactor that powered the whole island, with a backup, in case something happened, and if that happened the ship would autopilot to Skyhold for maintenance. I gained my Master Rank in Teaching after I was finished, which allowed me to create tombs of power allowing anyone to learn minor skills after reading it, but would fade away after use.

Watching, Dareth Shiral, Theron's name for his island, fly up and away was one of my proudest moments. Theron gave me the green light, reporting everything was perfect, and was heading to New Arlathan, the elven city in the Brecilian forest.

With that out of the way, Julee, Dagna, Lyna, and me, turned to the eluvian in our underground base.

Creating an eluvian wasn't as difficult as I thought it would have been, the runes I needed to know we're already shoved into my rune bank, the problem was the outcome. Any mirror we made would connect to the crossroads, we were confused about how a mirror appeared in the crossroads, and how it connected to our new one, but we found out that a new mirror wasn't created, instead the new mirror hijacked the signal of the original mirror, so to fix the problem we went into the Crossroads and created another mirror but changed the signal to something new, returning to Skyhold we made a new mirror with the same signal and bam! New portal. We celebrated like crazy.

Tests after that We're purely experimental, we connected it to a mini-arc reactor for power and made a door that could change signals to open different doors, it was like tuning a ham radio, we even opened a portal to the Shattered library, the mana there was weak, reflecting Thedas outside. doing what I did best, I started copying books unfortunately, every book there was magic in one way or another, but it didn't stop me from just taking the books, no doubt someone will be annoyed at my actions but I didn't really care, the place was powered down I don't think I would get another shot at this. I just have to remember to tell Theron about it later.

Exploring the Crossroads lead us to a tower around it was thousands of mirrors, the elven empire must have been huge. Some were open leading to other worlds, and my observation skill gave me a brief description, some were simple, beach dimension, forest dimension, pillow dimension, I'm pretty sure those were just experiments, but then there were others, Middle-earth, Elfheim, Dalelands, forgotten realms, Azeroth, Albion. There were so many, but even more were shattered, for Solas to do this. How many elves lived here? Did they escape into other worlds? I copied down all the working signals and left. I didn't want to think about it.

Our next goal was to create a new dimensional pocket, somewhere outside the elven pocket. The Qunari were able to break into the elven one and run wild, no, we need another location, somewhere that didn't connect to the Crossroads, that one took longer, not only because it was a mind-bending concept just to do that, but all work and no play makes Nick a dull boy.

I took breaks, went on dates, made love, and traveled Ferelden. I wasn't in a hurry, and I didn't have to go anywhere, sure The Mage Problem was getting worse but Ferelden was on top of it, for the most part, normal people were still fearful of Mages and magic, but as they help create mage-light poles to beat back the dark and work as village healers, people were coming around, it helped that The Vanguard traveled Ferelden, helping the common folk and keeping the peace, Ferelden was coming together, slowly but surely.

It was after First Day when we made our first success, after reading some of the elven books and hooking up the mirror to a large arc reactor. We ended up on a large platform with a white void all around us.

Congratulations! You have created your own Dimension! It's small but it's yours!

We tested it like crazy, did it have a breathable atmosphere? Too cold? Too hot? Are there dangers?

We ended up using a golem to enter the dimension and create another Gateway, making sure if the gate closed behind us, we had a way out. Multiple tests were made, and after it worked for the thousandth time, I built a Base around that platform, everything was labeled, and had enough supplies to feed an army for a couple of years with enough materials to create another Portal, arc-reactor, and detailed explanation on how to create a portal out. no chances, no luck, make it right the first time, every time.

So, we started making portals and sending in golems to give us a sitrep and make a connection. After the 10th safe portal. I made the decision that we should take a break.

The beach dimension sounded like a nice break~.

-/-

John Shepard POV

"So, you're an interdimensional traveler? Let's say I believe you, what are you doing here?" fuck me my jaw hurts like a bitch! But I had to keep up appearances, thank God for medi-gel. Things calmed down after Nick forced everyone to stop, it was horrible, it was like looking a thresher maw in the mouth.

"Whatever the hell I want." he answered, setting up a picnic table in the middle of the goddamn presidium, "What are you? dimensional cops? Huh~, space boy, ya a cop, ya a space cop?"

Okay, a bit hostile, let's calm this down, add the Shepard charm~. "No, no. Just a man trying to understand, why someone wanted to come here?"

"I, wanted to go, to the Beach dimension," he growled.

"yes~, I got that, but this isn't the beach dimension," I pointed out.

"Are you sure?" he pointed to Jack and Miranda, "scantily clad women," he then pointed to the water, where an honest-to-God, dragon was drifting along not caring about the people taking photos, "Water."

I think I know who created the mech, "I feel like there should be more prerequisites for this to be a beach planet."

"John-"

"I don't remember giving you my name?"

"John, listen. The gods are dicks," okay, "and Magic is something even the most intelligent being takes hundreds of years to barely understand, they usually go crazy. I try not to ask too many questions; you never know who's listening. Roll with the punches."

"I got the drinks!" A young lady with blond hair, violet eyes, and pointy ears, wearing a bikini that matched her eyes came through the portal only to freeze. "Nick?"

"Yes, Ayla?"

"This is not the beach dimension," she stated in a monotone voice that I've heard my mother use when I mess up.

"Nope."

"And you didn't say anything?"

"I worked too hard not to see sexy ladies in bikinis." The confidence in this man!?

"Well, I hope you got a good look because you're not getting this for a long time." Not missing a beat Nick twisted and started taking pictures... on his hand-held phone? Magic is weird.

Ayla just sighed, and looked over to me, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. "NICK!? By the Maker! What's wrong with that man!" she pointed right at me.

"Ah~ yeah, you would be able to see it better. Space Cop Shepard here is a zombie, sorry, robot zombie."

What?

"Should we put him out of his misery?"

"No," I answered for him. "Listen, I am not a zombie-"

"-Robot zombie-"

"I'm not a zombie of any kind! I was... injured-"

"-Killed-"

"-But I got better." I finished, ignoring Nick's interruptions.

"Did anyone tell your soul? It's not pretty," she stated, grimacing as she looked at me. "Wait maybe I can give him his final rights!" she cheered running back into the portal.

"Should I be worried?" I asked Nick as he placed food on the table. That's a good-looking steak.

He shrugged, "Probably not."

"Can you take this a bit more seriously? You traveled to another dimension and assaulted a highly important political figure!" I growled slamming my hands on the wooden table. If kindness isn't working, it's time to get heated. Anderson was fine but I had Mordin give him a once over.

"Who? David? He shouldn't be pointing guns at people, they aren't toys." he huffed, taking out a watermelon.

"I'm back!"

"BRACE!" Nick yelled at the top of his voice scaring the shit out of me. On instinct, I held on to the table, only for nothing to happen.

"Wha-" My question was cut off as everything started shaking like crazy. Can you have an earthquake in space!? It felt like it lasted a lifetime, but in reality, it probably only lasted about 3 seconds.

"Ya okay, space cowboy?" Nick called out, continuing to put food on the table.

"The hell was that!?" I roared.

"Sorry, probably should have said something. That is what happens when a god enters a new dimension. Well~, it happened every time we enter a new dimension anyway. The gods meet and talk and discuss how things are gonna work. It was short though?"

"What does that mean?"

"Either your gods don't care about a newcomer or they're just not there. Let's pray for the former." he joked. JOKED! About the gods being real!

"Hey! What's going on here!?" a turian C-sec officer with the biggest balls I have ever seen swaggered over to us. "Sir you're going to have to come with me," he ordered to Nick coming over with a pair of cuffs.

"Primlio Quinscus," the turian froze.

"How do you know my name?"

"Q-man do you really think, what you are about to do, is a smart plan?" Nick genuinely asked, I think he was as shocked at Quinscus's moxie.

"The council-"

"Can eat your ass. They already have super space cop interrogating me-" he jutted his thumb at me, "I think they're trying to sacrifice you."

"I'm... sorry, your accent is very thick, I couldn't catch all that." accent?

"He, spectre, job done." How did he know I was a spectre?

The turian just nodded, looked over to me, nodded, and left.

"What was that? You have an accent?"

"Shepard, I'm speaking every language. At once."

"How?"

"Magic. Mordin! What language am I using!?" he called out.

Mordin just looked at Nick extremely confused, "Ja'Salar? Your accent is very thick, where did you learn?"

Nick ignored him, "Grunt! What language am I speaking!?"

"Shut up!" he roared.

"WHAT WAS THAT YOUNG MAN!? DO YOU WANT ME TO GO OVER THERE!?" He sounded like my mom when I talk back.

"I dare you!"

Nick immediately called his bluff and blitzed toward Grunt, I tried to stop him but was well out of my reach before I could do anything, I was then witnessed to a spectacle, as Nick dodged Grunt's sloppy right swing, got under his guard, around his back, and then lifted a 700 pound, 6 and a half foot krogan off the ground and took him to suplex city.

Grunt just groaned on the floor as Nick stood over him, "What's wrong BIG BOY!? Not 2 seconds ago you were all big and mighty, now you're on the floor! Let this be a lesson Grunt, never underestimate your opponent! And talk shit unless you're ready to take a load!" Nick huffed, cracking his muscles, "now come eat, clearly you haven't gotten the necessary protein for the day." What are you, his dad?

"Please hold this." Ayla's voice came from beside me, looking over I found her holding two gold coins and some sort of plant.

"Uh?"

"The gold is for the ferryman, I'm pretty sure you took their boat twice and it's impolite not to give him something for their trouble. And so, we begin!" She then opened her book, and everything changed.

I was floating, everything was, good. Never had I been relaxed like this, always having to be seen as the perfect soldier, never tired, never scared, never hesitant. But now... everything was going to be okay.

"Hey John~, looks like your back." I looked around and spotted a... bartender. His wings were beautiful, his face was at peace, and was calmly cleaning a glass cup. "I'd get you a drink, but I can see you're in a bit of a rush~."

'

"SHEPARD!?"

My eyes shot open, slamming me back to reality, Garrus and Anderson looking down on me.

"Wah? What's wrong? What happened?" Why am I on the ground? My whisky?

"Hey! You can't just interrupt a ceremony like that!" Ayla yelled. Getting to my feet, I found Miranda on the floor again holding her eye.

"What happened?" I asked again.

"I was giving you your final right so you could pass on to the next life, but this idiot!" she pointed to Miranda, "Interrupted! The nerve of some people. Alright let's try this again, please no interruptions."

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" I called out stopping her. "I'm not dead!"

"Listen, I'm a cleric of the Maker, I got the book, I've read the instructions, and I can see your soul. It's not pretty. Whatever jackass brought you back from the beyond half-assed it at best."

"There are rules to bring people back from the dead?" I asked.

"Yes~, First, contact your god and ask how much it would cost to bring back your soul."

"Cost? Like money?" Garrus sounded bewildered.

Ayla shrugged, "Not always, it tends to vary from person to person, sometimes it's wealth, sometimes it's a favor for a later date, sometimes~, they won't ask for anything, the person coming back is part of their master plan, so they just make up a random amount."

"That sounds crazy," Garrus pointed out.

"Yes, and I am an interdimensional half-elf, that can talk to my god. What's your point?" she deadpanned.

"Well said, continue," Garrus coughed.

"Second, make sure you have the body! Souls return to their original bodies; their god fixes the body back to prime. And lastly! You need permission from the soul to bring it back to the material plane, if you don't do these things, and force a soul back to life things can get ugly."

"Ugly?" I asked.

"Shepard... when's your birthday?" Nick asked.

What a strange question, "It's... uh, um." I... can't remember.

"Who was your first lover?" he continued

"I..."

"What color are your eyes?"

"Blue?"

"Was that a question or an answer?" he asked. "what have you been doing since you returned? Saving the galaxy, right? Nonstop work? Focusing on anything, but what happen to you?"

"I... Might be."

"Are you having nightmares? Do you hear the voice of people who died?"

"I..."

"Don't worry... you will." a shiver crawled up my spine at the confidence of his words.

"Let's say I believe you, what are my options?" I asked.

"Well~," Ayla waved her book side to side.

"Options that keep me among the living!"

"Mmm," she tapped her chin, before opening her book, the calming effect was going back full force. For a second, I thought that I was going back to the bar, but it never got that comfortable. "Oh! We can complete the rest of your revival! All we need is... 2 million metric tons of... Eezo? What's eezo?"

"Okay, no. No one has that much Eezo. I'm pretty sure you're trying to scam me now." I huffed, got a little too hyped up with the 'magic'. Need to get more sleep.

"Nuh-uh, look!" She showed me her book, the letters or symbols or whatever the hell it was bent the world around me, nothing was real, and too real at the same time, I tasted eternity and felt the color that my skin rejected bounce off. She pulled her book back to read but I was too busy to care trying to put reality back together.

"Trippy huh~?" I looked over to Nick passing Grunt some fruit.

"What~?"

"That's Celestial script, the language of the gods, unless you're a cleric, paladin, or celestial, mortal minds can't really handle that, most go crazy," Nick explained.

"Most?"

"Others just... stop. They've seen something beyond their comprehension, and just... sit there trying to understand it. Give Garrus a slap." I looked over to a frozen Garrus who was just looking out into space. I tapped his scars snapping him back to reality.

"Shepard," he whimpered, "What the hell's going on?"

"No idea, things are getting over our pay grade," I answered. "Anderson?"

"I got nothing."

"Hey!" Ayla's voice made all three of us jump, "I think I got something! You can work for the rest of your soul!"

"Uh? What does that mean?" Today's been too long.

"My god, The Maker, is willing to foot the bill if you work for him!" she answered.

"So, I would have to be a... Cleric, I've never been good with religion," I admitted.

"Not a cleric~, a paladin! A hero to the people, a fighter of evil!" She sounded way too excited, and her smile was way too big.

"uh~." I backed away as she got closer.

"Or~," the red-haired woman, with the horns and tail intercepted the holy preacher, "You can ask someone else~. Nick said you're a man who must do dangerous things to keep the galaxy safe, not all of those things are good and righteous. Why limit yourself? My family might be able to do the same, for a small price~." Her glowing sulfur eyes were trying to tear into my soul.

"Jak! What are you doing?" Ayla huffed. Jak just turned to Ayla with a rather... salacious smirk.

"Isn't it simple, my innocent buttercup~?" Jak rubbed her thumb across her lower lip, "The same thing you're doing now, staking a claim. Shepard here, is a mighty hero. If he was under contract, the J-family could gain a foothold in this new universe."

"This is my contract!" Ayla growled baring her teeth.

"And what if I... buy it off you~." everything was getting... fuzzy~.

Ayla's eyes seem to dull for a moment before she snapped out of it, "Begone temptress!" she yelled slapping Jak right in the boob.

"Ahhh!" she squeaked and jumped away. "How!?" she hissed.

"The Maker gives me strength! Begone!" Ayla ordered pointing her book at Jak.

"You win this time~, but mark my words, Cleric, I will have my revenge, no mercy," She hissed.

"Get!"

"NICKKY! Ayla's being mean to me!" Jak ran off to Nick who was now cooking shrimp kebabs over a grill. Mordin was standing next to him plate in hand talking to Nick at a speed that my translator was having difficulty picking up. Nick was just nodding.

"So, just sign here," Ayla gave a piece of paper and a pen. Yeish, a little pushy.

"Listen-"

"Ah! Here I go without showing you proof!"

"Hold on-"

She touched Garrus's face, "Heal ~." Garrus lit up like a candle for a second, as the light faded, Garrus's face... was fully fixed, the scar that would have been with him forever was gone, and his faceplate was fully intact. He looked better than ever.

"Okay." give me a second, let me just... get a handle on what just happened.

"Shepard," Garrus croaked.

"Yeah, buddy."

"My face doesn't hurt."

"There's a good reason for that," I nodded. I gave Ayla my full attention, "So, just sign here?" I asked shaking the pen.

"Yep, and initial here."

"Hold on!" Anderson broke into the conversation, "Shepard shouldn't you read it first?"

"Right~, uh. By signing this contract, I vow to help the innocent-" This was a weird contract, many of the stipulations were very loose, allowing a lot of wiggle room, 'you are allowed to injure the innocent if it saves them' but some were strict rules, 'you must adequately pronounce your spells!', it was also not very long, there was a speculation in the bottom that says more rules might come into play as I continue being a paladin, but that I wouldn't be retroactively punished. Well, that's nice an ex post facto rule. "Yeah, okay this seems good."

"Are you sure you don't want a lawyer to look at it?" Anderson asked.

"Nah, a leap of Faith and all that."

"Didn't you say that before you launched us over that ravine filled with thresher maws?" Garrus asked.

"And we survived. Point proven." I signed my name and initialed, and the paper lit up like a flare and popped out of existence. "so~," a beam of light appeared out of nowhere and a glowing sword lowered from the sky, "whoa~." I reached out and grabbed its handle.

"John Shepard, your goal is worthy and your heart sturdy! You are my paladin! My sword to beat back the darkness! Let your soul be put together with my power, evil shall quiver at the sight of you."

The sword in my hand began to morph, it was a sword, then a spear, sling, crossbow, flintlock, revolver, Semi-automatic, Machine, it just kept changing through models throughout history until it finally stopped at an M-6 Carniflex, it was pure white with golden accents. On one side a symbol of the Maker and on the other a single word, 'Paladin'.

I felt... whole, and tired like the mind is finally listening to my body's complaints.

"Shepard!? Are you okay!?" I turned to Anderson... was he always so short... and kind? It's like... I could see him, his actions, and his motivations. He was worried about me.

"I... I think so."

"Sit and eat, you just grew an extra 6 inches, using a lot of energy." Nick was something, else. Where Anderson was this warm feeling, as if he was a bonfire on a cold night, Nick on the other hand, was like a perfect sphere, unmoving, impenetrable, it would shine for a bit when he talked to others, but always... controlled. "Shepard... what are you doing?"

"Huh? What?" I looked down finding my palm pressed against his back. "Oh! Sorry, I just."

"Saw his soul?" Ayla asked. If Anderson was a bonfire, Ayla was a forest lit a flame. "You need to ease the power going to your eyes before you hit a mana crash."

"How?" Mana Crash?

"Deep breath, in, out, Magic is a muscle, if you think you're in danger, your magic will act to defend you, and since you don't know how to control it, it's just powering everything not knowing how to help," Ayla explained.

In, out, in, out, the flaming forest that was Ayla slowly faded revealing the young woman underneath. "whoa~."

"Yeah, it's pretty crazy the first time."

"This is not the Beach Dimension," a monotone voice called out from the portal, it was another woman, elf, about 5'10, blonde hair, blue eyes, mechanical right hand, with some scars.

"Shepard," Nick called out, "you're gonna wanna brace."

And the world shook, but unlike before, I saw it. A real god. And then... everything went black.

-/-

Nick POV

"You wanna what?" I asked, moving Shepard over to Grunt, Anderson, and Garrus close behind. Jak was having an eating contest with Grunt and losing, Miranda finally got up off the ground, doing a piss poor job of fainting unconsciousness, Mordin was watching the grill, and my Ja'Salar was getting better by the second. I'm pretty sure Mordin was just 'politely' experimenting on me.

"We should help Shepard!"

"And we should do that because~?" The blight was one thing, I had a flying island that could blow them out of the sky, the Reapers though? Fuck that! Those things were planet busters, and let's not forget that if they somehow copy my portal tech they can kill an uncountable amount of people, and I don't want to be responsible for that. I know Shepard can win and now he has a god at his corner, he's fine.

"Niiiick~, come on! Adventure! Action! We've had our vacation, it's time to take ass and kick names!" God, so adorable.

"We're kinda out of our depth here, no? This is a space-traveling civilization, their galaxy is so different than ours, I'm sure we could find a more compatible world to explore." I also didn't want the council to try and lock me up in a box to poke and prod at me.

"Nick, part of adventure needs you to get out of your comfort zone, you came to Ferelden when you didn't have to, why not do the same here?" because guns, terrorists, slavers, ancient cosmic horrors just beyond the breach, take your pick. "I'll do... the thing~."

"Well damn. Alright-"

"YES!"

"-listen." I cut off her premature excitement, "If you really want this, you're gonna need more than just my permission, you have to get the whole family to agree, this isn't something you can just do willy-nilly, AND you must get Shepard's permission."

"Pish! I got this!" She ran off through the portal.

"So... new adventure~?" Jak teased.

"Her eyes were huge! What kind of monster do you think I am?" I grumbled.

"And the tongue thing~."

"I'm not a saint," I shrugged, taking a seat across Anderson, who was looking over Shepard, "So, David. How bad is it?"

"What do you mean?" David Anderson was a man of the people, an N7 soldier, he was an elite fighter, he was not a politician, and he couldn't really pull off being coy.

"John's a paladin. Paladins are only needed when shit hits the fan, and considering that you guys are a galactic civilization, you guys are in it deep," I explained. "That and Garrus has a horrible poker face" We looked over to the turian touching his face. "Garrus, stop touching yourself."

"What!? No... What? Sorry, face exploded," I need to get a translator, "speak good for humans. Humans no speak Zhulthai good."

"I get that a lot, so. What's got the galaxy in such a twist that a god from another Universe had to get involved?" I asked, taking some shrimp kababs from Mordin as he came over with the food.

They looked at each other for a moment. It was David who finally cracked, "Have your people created... machines?"

I shrugged, "We're more of a magic civilization, but we do have trains and I was able to recreate a mini-arc reactor that produces 8 gigajoules of clean energy per second." I jutted my finger to the arc reactor, "and that's before I added runes."

"I'm not an engineer, how much is that?" Anderson asked.

"If what he says is true, it produces over 275 million gigajoules in one galaxic year, it would only take 20 to power the whole Citadel," Mordin explained, "for 5 centuries."

David looked floored, but I was more impressed by Mordin's teaching skills, it would take me at least a few weeks to get a proper handle on a language, but this man taught me in less than an hour.

"that's amazing, how long does it usually last?" David asked.

"I used to use Palladium, but it was inefficient, it barely produced 4 gigajoules a second and would only last about 150 years, depending on what it was powering. Badassium, is far better, last longer, and I can synthesize it."

"Badassium? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" the tattooed convict laughed food spilling out of her mouth.

"Jenny, don't talk with your mouth full, you are a grown woman," I chastised.

"What ya call me!?" She growled, showing off her teeth.

"Jennifer, 'Jacqueline', 'Jack', Nought," I pronounced every single word, "that's your name, isn't it? What you call yourself~, and since that hot piece of ass" I jutted my thumb at Jak, who flipping patties on the grill, "is already named Jak, so that makes you, Jenny."

"Call me that again," she growled. I laughed, like really laughed, I was snorting and wheezing, I was probably red in the face. "WHAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY!?" she flared her biotics.

I stopped laughing, "Jenny, I was laughing, because you made a joke. You can't even make a decent threat~, let me teach you how it's done," I leaned forward, "You're a pretty good poet."

Her face drained of color and jumped out of her seat; she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "H-how?"

"You see the difference now, I'm scary because I know things, you try and be scary by being tough, but I could break you over my knee without breaking a sweat. Your strength means nothing." I stated, relaxing in my seat. "That goes for you too Mary~," I smiled at Miranda.

"I didn't do anything." she side-eyes me.

"Nah, I guess not. It's not like you ripped a soul from its final resting place. It's not like you did such a half-ass job that my gateway 'misfired' bringing me and my loved ones here." My sarcasm was so thick you could have swum in it. "I would hate it if your loved ones were suddenly put in danger's way by someone else's incompetent."

"So sure, it was a god? you could have just made a mistake," she kept her cool but her tiny frown gave her away.

"I tested my gate thousands of times, but suddenly it spits me out here? There's luck, and then there's deliberate action," I drawled. "Just know that we've already started off on the wrong foot, nothing we can't work through as friends, but try and bug my portal one more time, and Harper will get a harshly written letter about what he does with his toys." Miranda's face matched Jenny's but she stayed sitting down. "So," I turned to Anderson who just looked lost, "Why did you wanna know about my world's tech?"

He looked over to my robo-golem, "Is that not a machine?"

"Nah~, that's a golem, an automaton made of Magic, will, and materials. RG-5455 over there is made of stainless steel."

"So... it's not 'alive'?" he asked.

"Nope, what you're thinking about is a Warforged, an automaton created by magic, will, materials, and a soul," I created an illusion of Shayle, "this is Shayle Cadash, over a thousand years old, sassy, and finds our meat suits to be 'inefficient'."

Everyone just looks at illusionary Shayle in awe. "Is she the only one?" Mordin asked.

"No, and I won't say any more about that, it's not my place," what the dwarves had to do to survive was terrible and I think someone like the Illusive man would just do it to give him an advantage.

"I, understand. So. None of your golems have ever gained sentience?" Mordin asked.

"Like an accidental living spell? Not that I know of. Hey, 5455! Are you sentient!?" I asked.

"And pay taxes? No thank you!" it called back.

"There you have it," they all just gave me a deadpan look, "I also put an order in their creation to raise up after an apocalyptic event, ya know, to save them the hassle of having to wipe out civilization, especially if we're just gonna wipe ourselves out eventually~." they didn't change their look, "What? Why can't they have a shot after we fuck up so badly?" I joked.

"You're crazy," Jenny sneered.

"Jenny~. I have an interdimensional portal, I make love to dragons and devils, I've fought monsters from your worst nightmares," the image of Shayle morphed into a Hurlock, black blood dripping from its jagged broken mouth, its white pupilless eyes staring at them, menacingly. "I have seen things," the image began to change, "things that I can never unsee~," I hissed as the image solidified into a brood mother, its disgusting, mutated, mutilated body, for all to see, "I've heard things that can't be unheard," Hespith's broken voice slithered around us.

First day, they come and catch everyone.

Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat.

Third day, the men are all gnawed on again.

Fourth day, we wait and fear for our fate.

Fifth day, they return and it's another girl's turn.

Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams.

Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew.

Eighth day, we hated as she is violated.

Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin.

Now she does feast, as she's become the beast.

Now you lay and wait, for their screams will haunt you in your dreams.

But my memory couldn't give its broken and hunted voice justice, "You wanna save the galaxy~? Then you better get ready, 'cause you're gonna be just as crazy~. Just look at Shepard or Garrus, shit look at Anderson! They've seen something. Something, even with all your technology, and space flight, and biotics, they know you're not ready for, but they don't have a choice." I let the illusion fade. "So, David, you wish to enlighten me?"

"We found proof of an ancient machine race that wipes out all advanced life in the galaxy every 50,000 years," David answered.

"Let me guess; it's been 50,000 years," I teased. He just nodded, "And those in charge have shoved their heads in the dirt, and shoved their ass in the air?" he nodded again. "Love me tenderly you guys are in a bad spot. Personally~, I say cut your losses, I can move you to another universe, somewhere away from all this."

"I won't let these people die, not without a fight," Anderson hissed.

"Yeah~, didn't think so~, you seemed like the caring kind, I probably wouldn't have offered if you weren't." I sighed.

"Then why ask?" Grunt asked with a mouthful.

"First, don't eat with your mouth full young man, it's rude," I scolded. "And second, is to test him, to see his morality, I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to get his family to safety, but I wanted to see if he would choose himself over those he commands. You're a good man Anderson, I'm not sure if I'm that noble. I might help someone who asked, probably, but to go out of my way and to risk the people I love for someone I've never met, very few people could do that, and even fewer wouldn't regret it later. So, know this Anderson, if Shepard would have us, I'll do my darndest to keep him alive." I promised. "... and I guess the rest of you as well~." I waved uncaringly.

"You don't seem to care very much~," Jenny huffed.

"How about you put on more armor than just a belt, you exhibitionist!" I huffed back. "And you!" I pointed to Miranda, "You call that armor? Are all battlefields in the future runway shows!? Put on some armor you pervert!"

"The hell! You're not even wearing a shirt!" Jenny roared, not liking my hypocrisy.

"They're called battle shorts." I dusted off my pants.

"Screw you!" She jumped over the table going for my neck only to phase right through me and land on the floor, where I proceeded to boot her over the railing and into the artificial lake. "DICK!" she didn't have much time to curse me out before Sky appeared under her lifting Jenny up in the air on her head, before launching her into the water again. "FUUUUUCK!?"

"Fascinating, not a hologram, nor illusion, incorporeal, only in science fiction," Mordin muttered looking me up and down.

"Or magic~" I teased. "You have an extra Omni-tool?" I asked. He gave me a long look before taking one out of his back pocket. Omni-tools were just bracelets, highly advanced computer bracelets, but bracelets nonetheless.

Omni-tool – standard

Durability 40/40

A multipurpose diagnostic and manufacturing tool as well as a computer used for a variety of civilian and battlefield tasks, such as hacking, decryption, or repair. Omni-tools are handheld devices that combine a computer micro-frame, sensor analysis pack, and mini-fabricator. Versatile and reliable, an Omni tool can be used to analyze and adjust the functionality of most standard equipment, including weapons and armor, from a distance.

Fabricator 0/100

Shields 100/100

"Mmm, do you have any Fabricator omni-gel?" He looked even more confused but passed me some. It looked like Spiderman's web fluid. I started by copying both 30 times and put them away, I then enlarged it to the size of a small chair. Mordin was breathing down my neck at this point.

"What are we looking at?" Julee asked, appearing over my other shoulder.

"Miniature computer, phone, and weapon," I answered not looking away from my prodding.

"Like Ava's arm?" Lyna asked next to Julee.

"Yeah, but more on the scientifical end of the spectrum," I answered.

"Mmm, must have some serious software, it acts almost like a mind rune." Dagna pointed out sitting across from me, next to a confused Anderson.

"Not quite, it still needs some hand and wrist movements to activate, I have no doubt they'll get to that point in time, but they would probably have to have neural implants. Never liked playing with the brain, real touchy," even when I healed people, I'm always careful with the brain.

"So, what are you doing?" Julee asked.

"Strength, mind, capacity, weight, power, maybe a golem," I answered, at this point we've been working for so long everything was short-hand talk. Opening the battery case, I found a battery the size of my fist, removed it, i passed it to Mordin who examined it with great interest. Taking out an Arc-reactor, I placed it back into the battery case

Do you wish to modify Omni-tool with MK.4 Mini-arc reactor?

Accepting, the omni-tool morphed at the mercy of my power, accepting its new power source, I followed that by adding dozens of Rune sentences, met to add durability, direct mind interface, power output, carrying capacity, and Shield strength. I then shoved over a hundred canisters of Omni-gel and shrunk the tool back to regular size.

Do you wish to make Modified Omni-tool into a golem?

Cost: 573 MP

Yes.

The Omni-tool came to life and locked itself around my wrist. With a thought the screen came to life and connected to the extranet, "Interesting~," I summoned one of my satellites, activating it, it hovered 10 feet into the air and blasted off, my Omni-tool was able to sink into my satellites signal and gave me a 3-D map of everything it passed. "ah~, the beauty that is magic and science." There was a soft beeping at the corner of my screen.

Miranda is trying to hack your omni-tool!

Looking over I found Miranda tapping away at her Omni-tool with a confused look on her face. Well~, this is nice~. My omni-tool jumped at my command, everything seemed to fade away before huge blocky letters appeared over my head

HACK ON!

Sudden mini-game!

Mini-game my ass! It felt like I was trying to fish out a whale using a wimpy stick and a string made of floss. The poor thing lasted a second before it shattered.

Hacker got away~.

Better luck next time!

Everything came back into focus.

Due to your hard work and effort, you have gained a new skill!

Hacking - have you tried turning it off and on again? Used to unlock doors, lockers, and other objects that require mechanical means. Every time you hack into anything you will enter a fishing mini-game, people can fight back if they notice your attempt.

Rank novice!

Weapon – Sad fishing rod

I looked over to a smirking Miranda, only for that smirk to die as her omni-tool suddenly stuttered and die, followed by it smoking. She quickly threw it away.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Nothing I-"

"I know you tried to hack me, and I know you took me to pound town, why did your Omni-tool explode?" I asked, cutting off her excuse.

"I... don't know," she admitted.

"Did you download something?"

"I... wanted to see your omni-tool's new features but as I was getting the plans, it just... broke."

"Mmm, maybe it couldn't read it, from what I understand some software needs certain hardware to work properly. Steel golems work better, faster, and can do more things for less compared to my earthen golems. So, maybe when you downloaded the plans, your software tried to upgrade, but your hardware couldn't keep up," I theorized.

"So maybe with a more powerful Omni-tool?" Miranda asked.

"Maybe~, but I think it revolved more on the magic and runes. Was your omni-tool better than mine?" I asked, looking at her and then at Mordin.

"Standard Omni-tool, very basic, nothing out of the ordinary," Mordin answered.

"Other than the spyware~," I teased.

"Sorry, STG, old habit." He didn't sound apologetic.

"Miranda?" I asked.

"Serrice, model 8," she huffed.

"Sounds expensive~," I teased.

"Very," she deadpanned.

"And more powerful, must be hardware, able to hack, but not download, interesting," Mordin mumbled. I left him to it.

"Can I have this?" I asked Miranda, pointing at the now useless bracelet.

"Why?"

"Cause I want it." She rolled her eyes, and waves me away, "Thanks~."

Serrice omni-tool model 8

Durability 0/100

Omni-gel 0/500

Shield 0/800

Do you wish to fix this Omni tool?

Cost: 400 MP, 400 omni-gel, 10oz of copper, 10oz of silver, 3oz of gold

Accepting, the Omni-tool lit up for a moment before being repaired.

"I didn't know you were going to fix it~," she hissed, reaching for the omni-tool but I pulled away.

"Not so fast~," I teased, "this is mine~, one woman's trash is another man's treasure~"

Do you wish to modify Omni-tool?

Cost: 673

Yes

And just like that I had a new and better omni-tool, I tossed my old one to Anderson, and as he caught it, it liquified and ran through his fingers latching itself to his wrist, removing his old omni-tool.

"Wha?" His new Omni-tool came to life with an orange glow, he looked mesmerized.

"Nice~, right? It has a direct mental connection, no more of that hand-waving nonsense~, just think it and it will do it." His new omni-tool sprouted a screen with information, the info flashed by but Anderson seemed to understand what he was reading.

"It has a lot of information about me."

"It should, it's connected to you, it knows everything you know," I grabbed an apple and launched it at him, it wouldn't kill him but it would smart, but right as it was going to bean him, an Omni-shield sprang to life knocking away the pathetic fruit, "I made that little thing into a golem," I jutted my thumb at the steel giant, "like that guy." his omni-shield faded and a screen appeared with a small cartoon figure giving a salute, "whoever was your right-hand man was before, tell them that they've been demoted. That little guy there is now your best friend, he will die for you, if you're ever in serious danger he will do everything in his power to get you to safety, as we speak it's probably learning all your marshal prowess, look~," the little figure was looking at me with a stern glare, "You don't trust me, so it doesn't trust me, it sees me as a possible threat and if it comes down to it, it will try and remove me."

"But... you created it?" Anderson looked shocked, I could understand, I created it not 2 minutes ago and now it saw me as a danger.

"And now it's your best friend, a soldier under your command with undying loyalty."

"You don't consider this to be alive?"

"No, it doesn't have free will or a soul, it wouldn't plan for the far future, only work with the information you gave it. That and it doesn't pay taxes~," I joked. He gave me an incredulous look, "What? There are two certainties in life, death, and taxes. And since it doesn't do one of those~," I shrugged.

"I feel like there are more things to life than that," he deadpanned.

"Then you're a better man than I~."

"ADVENTURE!" Ayla roared as she raced out of the portal, I'm guessing she got permission.

Shepard took that time to jump to his feet, "I'M NOT ASLEEP DRILL SERGEANT! I'M ONLY LEADING MY ENEMIES INTO A FALse sense of... Security." he petered out awaking fully, I couldn't hold it in and started laughing. "uh, what? Oh yeah~, magic, gods, contracts... I'm starving." I passed him a plate of food.

"Eat up, we have a long talk ahead~, also I know it seems a bit soon for me to ask for a favor, but... can you keep the media away?" They followed my line of sight, to the dozens of reporters being held back by C-sec, a holographic do-not-pass sign, and the fact that Sky gave them a look that said 'Ask any question you like, but I will eat you after'.

"I'll, uh, handle that," Anderson got up from the table, patting Shepard on the shoulder, like a proud sympathetic father, "good luck son, you have a long talk ahead of you."

-/-

As Anderson handled the dredge known as modern-day journalism, I rest of my crew from consisting of Sereda, the dwarf noble and paladin of the Stone, which caused another spacequake, Natia, the dwarven rogue, with the skill to call out bullshit, Neria the elven sorcerer, with the knack of going big with her spells, and Astral, my surprised adopted dragon little sister, who loved being clean more than people.

we gave Shepard a simple rundown of his powers, what he should expect as a Paladin, and Ayla of course practically shoved her way into Shepard's group, Shepard was iffy at first, but gave us a test run, the citadel had training areas where he could test us properly. At that time Jak was able to escape Sky's playing coming out of the lake looking like a wet cat, I use prestidigitation to dry her off and gave her a shirt, and by that, I told her if she didn't put it on, I was going to dip her back in the lake. So now she was angry but in a big warm shirt.

I need to stop adopting every stray I come across.

Anderson did one hell of a job keeping the riff-raff away, but unfortunately bigger fish arrived, as the rest of the council and their entourage of spectres arrived at my picnic table.

Tevos coughed as stepped up, "Greeting my name is-"

"Tevos, Valern, and Sparatus, I know, I don't like you," I gave them a fake smile.

That seemed to push them off guard, "I'm not sure what you heard-"

"It's not what I heard Valern, it's what I saw! Sky," I pointed to the dragon, "tore through Shepard and his team like they were wet paper, and manhandled Anderson, your fellow councilor, and what did you do?" I asked rhetorically, "You sent, a lone, turian C-sec officer. What did you think was going to happen? Did you think poor Quinscus was just gonna talk me into being arrested? Maybe dig deep into his turian soul and gain the strength to overcome us? You sent a young man into an impossible situation, a situation so far above his job description, I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to sue you. He's meant to keep the peace, not fight dragons and interdimensional travelers," I ranted, that shit hit a nerve, I didn't send my guards into that sort of danger alone, they're usually in a group, with at least one robo-golem as muscle. "Your council has shown me nothing, you, less than nothing. There will be no sharing of technology or friendship until I find you worthy. Anderson!" I called out, and I placed my hand on his chest, "When danger reared its ugly face you did not hide, you did not cower, as a leader, you raced to handle the danger, for that, you have gained my respect, and my favor."

Do you wish to Bestow David Anderson with power?

Be warned, you can only do this once!

Cost: 800CP and 800MP

Gain: 450 CP, +15 levels, plus to all stats

I didn't want to open the can of worms that was magic for him when there was no one to train him.

Accepting. Anderson lit up like a Christmas tree, blinding everyone. As the light faded Anderson was no longer a man passed his prime, oh no, not by a long shot. The shirt he was wearing was torn apart revealing the body of a man who never skipped a day at the gym, he was 6 inches taller standing at an impressive 6'6.

"Whoa~." and with a voice that could melt steel, apparently. "What did you do?"

"I have the ability to bestow the worthy with great power. You're welcome," I teased.

Tevos actually reached out and touched his chest only to recoil, "it's real," she squeaked.

I laughed at her, "Of course it's real! Anderson is now a super soldier! No illness shall hold him, no poison shall drop him, his might will make weaker men tremble and women swoon," I was hamming it up, summoning a steel ingot I passed it to him. "Give it a little squeeze~."

Following my order, Anderson squeezed bending and molding the metal, much to everyone's shock, "well... okay then," he muttered, beginning to bend and twist the metal like it was clay. Letting it drop causing a loud clang that resonated throughout the presidium.

"Well... have fun with that~, I'll send you a message with all the cool things you can do later~. I got this 'area' to test out~," I waved goodbye, "Shepard! Let me clean up a bit and we'll go have some fun!" snapping my fingers the table with food and drinks vanished into my inventory, walking over to the gateway, with everyone in my group at this side of the portal, I made my golem into a messenger, telling anyone on the other side what was happening and that I would reopen the portal later, before shoving it into my inventory.

"Hold on! You can't just march into the Citadel and do whatever you want!" roared Sparatus.

"You did," I muttered. "mmmm, I feel like you're going to give me problems~, so in order to distract you, I'll give you something to fight each other over." taking a deep breath, "THE ASARI HAVE A SECRET PROTHEAN BEACON ON THESSIA!" I yelled at the top of my voice making sure the reporters could hear me, "THEY ARE DISGUISING IT AS A TEMPLE TO ONE OF THEIR GODS, ATHAME, IN THE CITY OF ARMALI! THAT'S WHY IT SEEMS LIKE THERE SO ADVANCE! THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT!" everyone was dead quiet, Tevos fell on her ass, her blue skin pale as a ghost. "You guys have fun with that~," my smirk may have been a little too devilish. The reporters exploded into questions and photographs, some just ran off, probably to their publishers or what the hell they use here. "So, Armax Arena~." I clapped getting Shepard's attention

-/-

Shepard POV

The phrase I was thinking of, was, 'political shitstorm'. Yeah~, that was the phrase. I felt like I was swimming through the air, nothing was real, the dragon women flying outside the car were figments of my imagination, and the holy pistol magnetized to my thigh that gave me a warm feeling was just me sleeping too close to a heater.

"You okay Shepard?" and then there's this guy. Nick Walters, who is this guy!?

"Yeah~, I'm good," it's still the same day. Too much shit has happened in one day. It felt like Ilos all over again. Just one fire after another. I looked over to a shell-shocked Garrus... touching his face again.

"This is so cool!" Ayla had her face plastered to the window and casually played with her new Omni tool.

My omni-tool went off, bring it up Anderson came into view, he looked good for a man in his mid-40s, "Sir. How's the meeting?"

"The Asari have locked down Thessia. Tevos is locked up in her office. Valern, confirm that the Prothean is indeed in Thessia, and Sparatus, is cursing up a storm, my new translator is picking up every word. Shepard, I don't think I have to tell you this, but keep Nick close, not just because he has crazy other-dimensional powers, but because the Asari, as a whole, might try and kill him."

"Understood Sir... anything else?" I... needed something, there are too many directions.

"Continue your investigation, people are still going missing and you might be their best hope. Good luck, Anderson out." My screen vanished, and across from me Nick was just looking out the window with a devil-may-care attitude like he didn't just destabilize the entire Galaxy.

"Nick?"

"Yeah bub?" he asked, looking at me, and stopping Garrus from touching his face.

"How did-"

"I know?" he cut me off, "You just entered the world of magic, so things are a bit jarring, magic can do just about anything, I have the ability to gain information, just by looking at somebody or thing, at first this power wasn't very useful, it told me the plant I was looking at was green and needed water, but as I got better control of my magic and gained intelligence, I gained more and more information, now if I really focused, if I read you with my full power and your mind wasn't protected, I could read your most guarded secrets." he leaned back in his chair, "I don't though, not unless you're my enemy. Peeking into people's minds is a serious violation of their privacy, and stuff like that, it marks you in a way you don't like. Magic tends to reflect what you look like on the inside. Sure, some hide it, but you can tell, especially you."

"Me?"

"You're a paladin to a decent god, some would even say good. That will give you insight if people are lying to you. I am a virgin; I can't talk to a woman to save my life."

Something in my gut... moved, something was wrong, it was like that time during the blitz when I was able to avoid an ambush. "You're lying."

He smirked, "How are you so sure? You don't know me, you met me today. How can you possibly know that?"

"I... had a gut instinct, that what you just said was a lie."

Nick nodded, "And you'd be correct, learn to trust that instinct, it's your magic reaching into the ether, connecting the energy of the universe, and trying to help you determine the truth. The fact that you're a career soldier who had years of combat and danger experience probably makes it easier to trust your gut, add the fact that the Maker is in your corner, it will probably feel like you see into the future."

I stared at him for a long time, "Why did you out the Asari like that?" I had to ask.

"Other than the distraction?" I nodded, "Shepard, from what I understand you are at war with ancient evil eldritch robot abominations, correct?" I nodded again, "And you gain the information about their existence from a beacon, correct?" one more nod. "Do you believe that the beacon you used was the only one? I find that hard to believe, no~, what's more likely is that the Asari knew about the monsters in the dark, and waited."

"For what!? To die horribly!?" Who would do that if they knew of the dangers, why wouldn't they do anything!?

"To look like heroes~," he sighed leaning against his chair.

"Heroes?" That's insane.

"mmm~, the monster comes and attacks the land, the villagers beg for a savior, the Asari arrive just in time to save them with a never-before-seen weapon, killing the monster, the Asari become heroes, worshipped and praised. For all you know Shepard, the Asari already have a way to fight the reapers. the Asari can live up to a Millennium, plenty of time for them to build something in secret, to move money and supplies quietly, and if anyone starts asking questions, well~, they don't even have to kill them, just gaslight them until they die of old age, and then continue on like nothing even happened." I wish that didn't sound so possible. "With any luck, you might find the weapon to kill the monster, and if nothing else, prove that the monster is real."

"Doesn't sound like much of a consolation prize~," I groaned.

"Maybe, but now everyone will be aware of the danger and can start helping. Anderson told me that humanity has its own Beacon, have you checked for evidence of the reapers? Maybe random weapon schematics that make no sense, like they're too big or seem to just be placed somewhere in the data that made no rhyme or reason," he shrugged, "I kind of guess that races of the galaxy wanted to take their time studying and learning what the Protheans left behind but with the Asari proven hypocrites, now is probably your best time to dig deep into the information the beacon has."

"You seem to know a bit about politics," Garrus pointed out.

He shrugged, "I'm a Barron, the lowest form of nobility, I hate it, I just wanted a castle, man~, then suddenly a few hundred people fall into my lap and my morality took command, one thing led to another and suddenly there were thousands of them!" he groaned.

"He did a real good job," Ayla added, "you should visit!" she passed me her magic hand phone showing off photos of what seemed like a beautiful little village on the side of a mountain, "Less than a year ago it was a tiny little village, now it's the center of Ferelden educational system!" I swiped to the next picture showing the village growing rather rapidly into a city, "he even made a magical school... that kinda teaches everything, plus magic." The next few pictures were of a school that you would only find in a fantasy vid. There were kids doing magic, archery, sword practice, cooking, and so on.

"Seems like a fun place," Garrus complemented, it really did, I liked the idea of just living off the grid... for like a week before I lose my mind. Swiping to the left, a picture flashed on the screen I probably shouldn't have seen.

"wh-" Ayla's hand flashed over the screen.

"Shepard..." her eyes screamed murder, my stomach was churning, "can I have this back?" Her voice was sweet, but the threat was there.

"y-yeah."

"And Shepard... you saw nothing," I would disagree, I saw a lot more of Nick than I ever wanted to. That picture better have come with consent or I'm going to have to arrest her.

"I... saw nothing," but I shouldn't say anything as I'm currently in a flying box.

"Great! So, when are we getting to this Silversun strip?" she shoved her phone back into her pocket avoiding eye contact. At least I know now that I don't have to be celibate.

"We should be there soon, according to Anderson his apartment should be close to the presidium," we should have been there by now. The ship suddenly took a turn to the left... heading away from our destination and the other group. That can't be good.

"Everything okay Shepard? Looking a bit confused." Nick asked.

"Something is wrong, we've changed directions. Garrus?" I looked over to my right-hand man as he tapped away at his Omni-tool.

"Someone hijacked the car's navigation system, we're heading toward Tayseri ward."

"Tayseri? Isn't that place under construction after Sovereign fell on it?" my gut was churning again.

"Yeah, nothing but construction workers and blackouts as far as you can see," his face looked grim.

"Oh~, an ambush~!" At least Nick was having a good time. "I was worried the arena, wouldn't bring our skills to the forefront, but now~," the shorts he was wearing began climbing up his body creating a suit of glowing armor.

"Whoa~."

"Battle shorts~, never leave home without them," he joked.

"I'm guessing this wasn't part of the trip?" Ayla sighed, as her swimwear also morphed into shiny golden armor, and took out a rather large-looking mace. "Should I call the others?"

"Send a message, we're probably going to be a little late and should start having fun without us," Nick shrugged.

"You guys seem rather relaxed?" Garrus pointed out.

"Yeah, so are you." huh, I guess I am. I've done this too often.

The car began slowing down and landed in a dark large open area with a single heavily armed Asari standing out in the street.

"I don't like this Shepard, no cover, no light, a single Asari in the middle of the street, this is all kinds of bad," Garrus huffed taking out his sniper.

"8 assassins, two behind her, 4 in the third building to the left, and two behind us in the second building to the right," Nick said, looking around the street.

"What is your specialty?"

"Power, speed, cooking." he smirked

"Of course, do you have any gun experience?" I asked, hoping for a miracle.

"none~, but don't worry, I can handle myself," he smirked, I had to believe him as I turned to Ayla.

"I'm heavy support, healing, shields, and buffs!" she smirked.

Okay, I don't know what that meant but it sounds better than cooking, "Do either of you have a gun?"

"n-," Nick started before freezing and gasping, "I do! I do have a gun!" Alright, at this point I'll take anything. He then proceeded to summon something the size of a rocket launcher!

"The hell is that thing!? Garrus asked.

"Ya like it? It's a Gauss rifle! It uses magnetic induction to propel a projectile at incredible and devastating speed. It fires a 2mm ferromagnetic bullet that will probably kill anything it's pointed at." He was way too excited.

"How many bullets do you have?" I asked, he gave me a strange look before unloading the gun's strange magazine and created a dozen extra cartridges.

"As many as I need Shepard," that was a dangerous-looking smirk, if I didn't know better, I would have thought he was a krogan poorly disguised as a human.

"Come on out! The car's engine isn't going to start up anytime soon!" the Asari ordered.

"Who is that?" I asked.

"Teler Jayma, spectre, age 487, she likes Butt play." too much info!

"Nick... you're a weird man," Garrus muttered. "So, a spectre. Any chance you can just talk our way out of this?" Garrus asked me.

"Probably not," I sighed.

"I'll remove the two at our back as quietly as possible," Nick nodded creating an illusion of himself. "I'll then circle and kill everyone in the buildings."

"Wait for my signal, I wanna see if I can talk us out of it first," I ordered, he nodded and vanished leaving only his clone behind.

Opening the car, we were met with the cockiest Asari matron I have ever seen.

"I am Commander Shepard, council spectre! What is the meaning of this!?" I roared, putting on my game face as I led my team out of the car.

"Shepard? Heard you were dead," she huffed.

"I got better, what do you want?"

"Teler Jayma, also a council spectre, I've been ordered to bring that man in for questioning," she drawled.

"I got no such order, and I was next to the guy. So don't try that shit with me."

"Councilor Tevos-"

"Is under inspection, after the fact that the Asari kept a Prothean beacon hidden came to light! She can't order anything from us," I hissed. "Leave Teler, and take your backup dancers with you." Her eye twitched as I pointed out her backup.

"That man is responsible for destabilizing council space and throwing the Asari Republic into turmoil."

"The Asari government did that on its own when it decided not to play by its own rules! It was the Asari who demanded for us to share any Prothean data we came across, and now that they have been caught red-handed their trying to blame anyone but themselves! Teler... you've done nothing wrong; it's our job to uphold the laws that the council created, and the Asari Republic has broken those laws. It must be willing to accept its punishment as any other council race. My friend here may have spilled out the truth, but it was meant to be said, sooner or later the truth would have come out."

"Thessia is going crazy," she answered with a grim tone, "powerful political figures are running, people are rioting and protesting, that man caused a lot of death and mayhem when he spilled his guts out like that. He needs to answer for his stupid actions."

"Not to you. His actions were foolhardy, I don't doubt that, but necessary! How long has the Asari government kept this under wraps? How many people has it killed to keep its secret? I'm not going to start sacrificing people for its failure, and neither should you. Leave Teler. Go home," I ordered. I tapped into my magic as her soul came into view, it looked pained, it twisted and raved. I don't know how, but I can feel that she's been personally affected by the republic's lies.

.

.

.

"I'm sorry." a gunshot pierced the silence, "What?" The bullet aimed at Nick's forehead did no damage.

"Holy Rebound! Blind! Armaments! Haste!" Ayla roared, unleashing a blinding light, but the light didn't affect me at all. As I was covered in a strange barrier everything seemed to come to a crawl, Ayla didn't hesitate and rushed forward practically teleporting before Teler with her mace mid swing striking her in the chest rag dolling her through the air and into one of her cloaked bodyguards. I'm unsure if that blow killed her but the sickening crunch didn't give that idea much hope, at the very least she wasn't going to get up any time soon.

Ayla, not wanting to let her momentum fade, dashed forward reaching the other cloaked guard in record time, using her mace to smash the Asari's head into the metal wall. Unlike Teler, I can guarantee that Asari was dead, as her brains and blood decorated the wall.

"Holy shit," I muttered, turning my gun to the remaining guards only to spot Nick already finishing off the 4 in the building, his fists covered in blood. I couldn't see him very well but from what I saw, he looked like a serial killer from a bad horror vid, simply looking out the window from the third floor with glowing blue eyes.

As quick as it started the battle was over, the dark street was cloaked in silence yet again.

"Shepard," Garrus's soft voice tried to break the oppressive silence, "what the hell was that?"

"Shepard! We have two live ones over here!" Ayla called out, dragging Teler, who had two broken legs and one arm, by her unbroken arm and the other unconscious Asari by the foot. "Should we bring them in?"

I nodded, "yeah, let me make some calls."

It's still the same day.

-/-

"My goodness ladies and Gentlemen! That horn woman just ripped that krogan Battle master in two!" the announcer yelled.

At the moment I was watching Nick's team fight solo and as a team. I could see the years of friendship and teamwork, not a word was said as they worked together killing every hologram that the Armax Arena had. Their strength, speed, and powers, flipped the battlefield on its head. A large explosion rocked the arena.

"WHAT KIND OF GRENADE WAS THAT!? ARE THESE NEW COMERS SECRET WEAPON TESTERS!?" the announcer roared causing the crowd to go crazy. "WILD~!"

"they're good," Miranda commented, to my left.

"Is that approval in your voice?" I teased.

"I call it as I see it. They can be useful on our mission."

"And the illusive man? I have no doubt he would chomp at the chance at getting magic."

"No doubt. Magic could be the key to giving humanity an edge, you've seen Anderson. He looked 20 years younger and could bench-press a mountain," she smirked. He also reported that he was finding difficult concepts easier to learn and remembering things that he thought unimportant, like his high school Spanish lessons, which he used to a degree that he started speaking to Ambassador Dominic Osoba in his native Spanish without noticing. Whatever Nick did to enhance Anderson to the point where the alliance had to give him a full workup. Nick wasn't joking about that superhuman comment, Anderson was the thing every military leader had wet dreams about.

"You think Nick will give Cerberus the key to magic?" I would comment that we would sooner see pigs fly... but a dragon woman just ripped the head of a krogan, so, there's that.

"We may not need him, now that we know that magic exists, we could work to obtain it."

"I would say it was a bad idea but that won't stop you, just remember... you now know you will be judged in the end," the noise around us seems to lower.

"And you don't think a human god would be happy to see humanity grow?" she hissed.

I looked her in the eyes, "At what cost?" my voice was cold, and the air around us seemed to chill, "The bones of the innocent are not a good material for humanity's foundation."

.

.

.

"AND THERE WE HAVE IT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WITH ANOTHER TOP SCORE! TEAM... ass, really~, IS UNBEATABLE!" The announcer called the end of the match and our conversation. Standing I walked over to the team's entrance and exit, I was next leading Nick's group... I also had to keep my high score.

-/-

"I have to admit Shepard, she is a beauty~." Nick whistled looking over at the Normandy SR-2. She was bigger, faster, and stronger than her predecessor. Something I take great pride in; I think only Joker loves her more than me.

"Thanks."

"But, uh... is it okay to fly with those colors?" and he pointed to the one thing I hated more than anything, EDI? I can live with that, She and Joker have this comedy lover's skit going on, which gave me a good laugh, but the colors!? The hell!? Isn't Cerberus supposed to be some sort of secret terrorist group? Why the hell are they blasting their colors in everyone's face!?

"I've been trying to get a color change," I muttered, no one wanted to touch her, thinking they might be arrested for working for a terrorist group.

"Want me to change it?"

"And here I thought I was supposed to be the miracle worker~. I would appreciate it."

Nick proceeded to touch the ship changing the color scheme to the alliance's blue, black, and white. It almost brought a tear to my eyes, she was finally perfect~, all I had to do was get her back into alliance hands.

Walking into the ship all the Cerberus symbols were removed, "SHEPARD! The Normandy lit up like- who the hell are you?" Jeff asked, "Hey~," he called out to the rest of Nick's crew.

"Should you really be trying to flirt with your wife not 2 steps away?" I teased.

"She's not my WIFE!" he roared.

"Joker, this is my ship, and you won't allow me to touch any of her buttons~."

"I've seen you drive a mako, I am 100% positive that if I gave you control of the Normandy for even a second you would fly us into a black hole or a star or something. I'm saving all our lives!"

"Can I press any of the buttons?" Nick asked, reaching for a button, only for Jeff to slap away his hand.

"Don't touch anything! I don't know who the hell you are?" Jeff huffed.

"Right! Sorry! My name is Nick Walters! Healer, mage, Lover of the ladies~."

Jeff just gave Nick a deadpan look, "So... are we just recruiting crazy people now?" he asked me.

"YOU DARE QUESTION MY MAGIC!?" Nick... then placed his hand on Jeff's head.

"What the hell-" his skeleton then lit up giving me a front-row seat to watch Jeff become Skeletor for a second, "-was that?" he sighed out as if Nick drained his annoyance.

"Let this be a lesson, Joker, when someone says they have magic powers, you shouldn't just dismiss them~," Nick teased before he grabbed Jeff and tossed him to his feet.

"FUCK!?" He screamed as he landed on his feet... and stayed on his feet. That... shouldn't be possible, his Vrolik syndrome, wouldn't allow it. He slowly stood to his full height, probably for the first time in his life.

.

.

.

"What?" His whisper was so quiet I thought I imagined it.

"Have you ever felt the wind through your hair Jeff~? The freedom of running? There are no chains on you~. Run boy, run~." Jeff looked like a startled deer not knowing what to do, looking around for the predator, he looked so lost, so scared, so confused, never have I ever seen Joker anything but cocky and confident, to see him like this. "RUN!" Nick yelled at the top of his voice, causing him to blitz down the neck of the ship, slamming into people, he fell twice but was back on his feet faster than I have ever been, it wasn't until he slammed into the elevator that I got to see his face, he was crying, fat tears ran down his face. He didn't know what was happening, all he knew was that he just ran for the first time in his life. As the elevator closed, he didn't say anything, just looked at me.

Everyone was quiet, what can one say after watching a real-life miracle?

"What... what did you do?" I muttered. I... know magic is real, I've seen a god, I've felt a god, but this. Things are beginning to finally sink in.

"What are you talking about? I cured his Vrolik syndrome," He answered like I was an idiot.

"I..." I couldn't look away from him, "EDI?"

"... Yes commander?" the ship's AI answered.

"Where's Joker?"

"He is talking to Dr. Chakwas in the med lab." There's going to be a lot of ugly crying, and confused questioning.

"Ah~, you must be Miss Moreau," Nick greeted giving a small bow. How can he be so nonchalant about this!?

"I... am EDI. Which stands for Enhanced Defense Intelligence. I am not married to Lt. Moreau," she answered.

"So~, can anyone touch your buttons then~?" he teased reaching for the glowing buttons, only to disappear before he got any closer.

"You don't have permission to touch the Normandy's controls," she stated, if I didn't know better, I would have called that a hiss.

"Ah~, I'm sorry Ms. Moreau~, it won't happen again," he teased.

"See that it doesn't," she vanished. Whoa~?

"Miranda said I need to be debriefed. Are you doing that? Cause she looks bitchy." he muttered walking down the ship's neck ignoring the crew's wide-eyed looks.

It's 6 in the afternoon.

Fuck today.

-/-

A/N: well, here I go~. The first chapter probably could have done better, but I just wanted to get started.

Yes, there was a bit of a time skip, probably going to use that for fun flashbacks, I also wanted to know what Nick's combat prowess looks like through someone else's POV. It wasn't until I did that, I realized that Nick is flipping terrifyingly. Nick is all about speed and power, get in close and use his full power to kill someone with his fists, before vanishing and doing the same thing to someone else.

This is the beginning of this story, so if you have any suggestions, now would be the best time to say them, cause if you're reading this 6 chapters later there's very little I can do.

I do have a YouTube channel where I put audio to my stories for those who don't have the time to read or just want to hear in the background. So far, I just finished putting up New Start Plus but I'm also working on NSP: in Spaaace, and putting up art videos of my characters, go give them a listen, link in Bio, Like and Subscribe if ya want.

As always, I have a DeviantArt page link in bio and that's for reading.

Chapter Text

Ch. 2

Somewhere over the horizon

-/-

Shepard POV

"We need to make this quick, Joker is losing his mind downstairs," I ordered, walking into the meeting room. Chakwas and Mordin were running every legal test in the book, and some that were definitely shady, trying to understand what Nick did.

"You picked up quite the crowd this time Commander," Jacob commented standing next to Miranda in the meeting room.

"It's a bit snug in here~," Nick drawled, waving his hand making the room grow and giving us plenty of elbow room while freaking Jacob out as he looked at the newly expanded room in shock and confusion.

"WHA!? The room!? What!? How!?" Jacob was spinning around, waving his hands at the to spot the wall used to be.

Was I that panicky 6 hours ago? Man~, have I grown. "Calm down Jacob, it's clearly magic," I answered.

"What!? What the hell are you talking about? Magic isn't real!" Jacob, nooo~.

"YOU DARE QUESTION MY POWER JACOB TAYLOR!?" Nick shouted, jumping on top the meeting table.

"How do you know my name!?"

"CLOTHES BEAM!" Nick yelled shooting some kind of laser... at Miranda. One second, she was wearing her usual skin-tight onesie, and the next she was wearing a metal bikini with leather gloves and boots, she even had a sword. She was every teenager's wet dream.

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.

.

"Mmm, Magic you say?" Jacob relaxed, allowing his alliance training to take over allowing him to roll with the punches. Unfortunately, in his new relaxed stance, he couldn't dodge Miranda's dope slap to the back of his head. "ACK! That stings! You used biotics!" he hissed hunched over holding the back of his head.

"What the hell!? Why did you use your powers on me!?" Miranda screamed, covering her body.

Nick gave her an uncaring shrug, "You're his commanding officer, you're supposed to have a handle over your subordinates." What a flimsy excuse.

"Can you change me back?" she tried to sound polite, but it only came out as a hiss.

"I can, yes~," he smiled back, getting off the table, and dusting off his hands.

"... are you going to?" her eye was twitching.

"No," he answered reaching into his pocket and dropping small listening devices on the table. "Next time... I burn all your clothes and leave you with nipple pasties."

The room went quiet, "...you're an unknown," Miranda justified.

"And you're a terrorist," Nick countered. "I wanna be friends Miranda, I really do, but you're making that hard, like every lonely teenage boy you walk by... we already started off on a bad foot, and your unhealthy snooping isn't helping your case, but I'm a reasonable man. So, I'm going to give you one last shot at friendship and camaraderie before I get annoying, and as proof, I will warn you about runes~. I'm sure you've seen them on my gateway, correct?" she nodded. "Good-good, Runes are a dangerous form of magic, unlike the charm I used on this room to expand the space, when applied correctly, Runes can do the same but permanently. No doubt you've already sent a picture to your boss and I have no doubt he already has a bunch of, more than dubious, scientists to copy and create their own. I'm only going to say this once... Runes are dangerous... Most of the time anyone who makes and creates runes has years of study under their belt, they know how rune lines work, how to place them, and how much Mana they need to make them start."

"And if you don't know all that?" I asked, not liking how slowly he explained everything.

"Depending on the rune~, it can vary from just an embarrassing failure to horribly catastrophic. One of the first runes most crafters make is Light, three simple lines and a minimum of power. Easy way to gain money, everyone wants light, and runes tend to last forever, but if you make the lines too small, or start on the wrong line, or if the material you're using as a base is too weak, or if you make a mistake on creating the line, or maybe you just had an off day, that usually results in an explosion. Nothing too dangerous, you might be missing an eyebrow or two, it is only a light rune after all, but it does teach you the dangers of playing with runes. You no doubt have seen the many runes circling my gateway," we nodded, "And how they seem to combine together, into sentences? That's because they are. They're rune sentences, and where one rune may ruin your day, a sentence, will kill you, and the person next to you, and the person in the other room, and everyone in between."

"That sounds dangerous," Jacob muttered.

"Very," Nick deadpanned, "I would recommend you call your boss and tell him to postpone any tests, or if the scientists are suicidal to do their testing away from a population."

"You don't seem to care about the men and women that might put themselves in harm's way to advance humanity," Miranda hissed.

"What do I care if terrorists kill themselves?" Nick shrugged, "I did just give you a warning, what you do with that is your own business. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"You warn us but aren't willing to teach us?" she huffed.

"... you know what? You're right." oh~, I don't like that look in his eyes. "When we're finished here, I'm going downstairs and teaching Grunt... everything... I know about magic." I don't think the Galaxy could handle that.

"You're bluffing." Miranda hissed.

"OH~, you shouldn't have done that!" Dagna, the woman to Nick's right, laughed. As Nick marched out of the room.

"Where's he going? What's he doing!?" Miranda yelled.

"He's going to teach the young krogan magic," Ava answered in a monotone voice as if Nick did stuff like that all the time.

"He can't!"

"Says who? You?" Lyna, Ava's twin sister, laughed. "The moment you said he couldn't, nothing short of Grunt himself denying Nick's offer is going to stop him. I'm surprised you're okay with that Dagna."

The dwarf shrugged, "From our training in the arena, Grunt's more of a battle tank, which is perfect for more powerful spell testing. Besides Nick told me I was almost ready to gain my own apprentice, well at least to teach the basics. It might be up to me to teach him a thing or two."

"You're not worried that he might make a monster!?" Miranda questioned. I'm not going to lie I was also a little worried.

"Monster? Have you seen Grunt?" Jak asked, "He's a kid," are we looking at the same krogan? "Nick is many things, dangerous, pervy, sometimes lazy, but he's not a monster, never a monster, Nick thinks all children are idiot adults, that they need guidance, attention, goals, and someone to teach them right from wrong. He sees Grunt as a child."

"Grunt is a 6-foot, 700-pound, armored behemoth," Jacob corrected.

"And a child," Ayla added. "Shepard, you saw Grunt's soul, right?" I nodded; it was... smaller than most. I thought it maybe a krogan thing. "It's small, young, and confused. When was Grunt born?"

"Uhm... about 2 weeks ago~, he was made in a tank."

"That's probably why Nick's acting like a papa bear, he believes Grunt needs someone to look after him, someone that can help him navigate the world around him," Neria pointed out.

"He adopted a krogan~?" Miranda drawled.

They shrugged, "Nick adopted a dragon as his sister," Sereda commented, jutting her thumb at Astral, who was eating some chips, where the hell did she get those from?

"He didn't adopt me! He just feeds me, gives me money, got me a job, and a nice cave, taught me how to read and write, practices new poses with me, makes sure my blanket is warm before I go to bed, and makes sure there aren't shiny metal eaters in my closet," she scoffed. Mmm, that sounded a lot like a caring older brother. "Like a chump!" and you sound like a bratty sister.

"EDI, where's Nick now?" I asked to the ceiling.

"Mister Walters is waiting by the elevator," she answered. Goddamn, we need to fix those, he left like 6 minutes ago.

"Right, come with me, I'll lead you to your new rooms." Might as well try and talk some sense into Nick on the ride down.

"Oh, we'll be okay with just a broom closet," Ayla said.

"A broom closet?" I asked. She waved to the room we were in, "Right~, you can just make it bigger. How big can you make it?"

Ayla shrugged, "It depends on what the Normandy is made of and how much magic Nick puts into it, he could easily make a room the same size as the ship itself." That would be trippy as all hell.

"EDI?" I called out.

"There's an extra utility room on the third-floor commander," she answered.

"Will that be ok?" I asked.

Jak nodded, "that should be fine."

-/-

Nick POV

Thump thump thump, went Dogmeat's tail on the elevator's floor.

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.

.

I took a deep breath, "So Shepard... care to explain how you own a ship that's faster than light but an elevator slower than dirt?"

"It's all about power distribution, the engines needed more power than the elevator," he answered, scratching his neck.

.

Thump thump thump

.

"They tell you that hogwash?" I asked.

"... yep."

God damnit. The damn thing took over 5 minutes to reach the second level and now it was taking another 5 to get to level three!

"I'm going to have to fix this... aren't I?" I muttered.

"... I won't say no to that." he sighed, rubbing his neck.

.

Thump thump thump

.

"Is there any way for me to stop you from giving Grunt magic?" he asked. He was now flexing his back, trying to relieve some muscles.

"Nope."

.

Thump thump thump

.

He gave a light cough, twisting a bit "So... how was your day?"

Sweet cheese and crackers! "... I wanted to go to the Beach dimension. Now... I'm on a spaceship off to fight ancient eldritch abominations... so... it could be better."

"mmm... I know the feeling... I had to pick up a package once, and now I'm doing the same." he muttered rubbing his head as if he was covered with lice. What the hell's wrong with this guy?

Ding!

THANK GOD!

The Normandy's crew quarters were a bit too... spartan, nothing was decorated or made to be relaxed in, it was a place to get food and get out. I'm going to have to fix this place.

"Ms. Moreau, is Grunt in here?" I definitely should have said something earlier, but I was too embarrassed with everyone joining me in the damn elevator.

"Yes, Mister Walters, he is eating at the moment, I would recommend you wait for him to finish. Also, I'm not married to Lt. Moreau," she logged out.

"Oh~, teasing her is going to be fun~," Julee snickered.

"You think we can make her blush," I smirked.

"Walters, I forbid you from doing this," Miranda called out shoving people out of the way as she exited the elevator.

"I mean, it's not like it's hurtful teasing~," I shrugged, "And if she wants, I could make her a body. I'll have you know I've created a vagina that worked so well that I got a handshake and nod from a Sten, I know you don't know what a Sten is, but trust me, that's high praise."

"What? No! Not that! But also, don't do that. I'm talking about giving Grunt magic! He can't handle it!" she hissed.

"Oh~, what do you know about magic Miranda?" I rolled my eyes, "You who barely learned about magic this morning? I can tell you for a fact that humans could barely understand magic, Tieflings, like Jak and Julee, and elves, like Lyna, Neria, and Ava, are far better at controlling and using magic," I huffed. "But do you know what humanity is seen as in the multiverse?" she nodded. "we're terrifying monsters~."

"What?"

"Oh sure, there are other races who you would call evil, Devils like Jak and Julee's gran-gran," the girls nodded, "Mind flayers are assholes, and killing them would probably get you a medal. But there is only one race that is as savage and violent as they are petty, and they will endlessly pursue their foes even to their own detriment, I'm referring of course, to the human, almost every other race regards humans as a virus, capable of spreading and adapting to almost any location, even the races that are allied with the us are amazed at how quickly they can figure things out and how much they can accomplish with their short life spans. Every race knows just how dangerous a human's ambition is, a good human on the path of righteousness could reshape the galaxy for good, and an evil human fueled by vengeance could bring down an empire or even a god. No Miranda, I don't 'think' you can handle magic, I know you can't." Walking into the cafeteria, I almost broke down into tears.

"You, okay?" Jak asked, gently rubbing my back.

"Look how sad and pathetic this kitchen is," I turned to Miranda and Shepard, "have you no shame?"

"What?" Shepard asked

"Shepard, my buddy my friend my pal, your team is motivated by your goal to save humanity, but they work with the rations they are given, you are a military man. You know what it is like to eat calories, tasteless, bland, calories, did you like, your tasteless bland calories?"

"... no."

"NO! Nobody does!" I turned from him and walked into the middle of the room, "WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THIS KITCHEN!?" I might have unleashed my Intimidation skill a bit because everyone was frozen to their spot. "Answer me," I growled.

"T-that would be me." a man saluted

Human mess sergeant

Rupert Gardner

Age: 48

Lvl: 6

HP 100/100

MP 1/1

Before joining Cerberus, Gardner used to be a family man, working the element zero rigs along the frontier colonies. Though he was happy, he lost everything to batarian raiders and later joined Cerberus to make a difference. Remarking upon his own skills as a jack-of-all-trades, Gardner quips that he handles any task, including janitorial duties and plumbing, that "falls through the cracks". He concedes that he can't fight, but is still willing to help in any way possible.

He is terrified

"Congratulations Gardner, you've been promoted. You are now my sous chef. You no longer work for Cerberus, or Miranda, or Shepard, I don't give a damn if the Illusive man, Admiral Hackett, and Councilor Anderson, walk into this room right now demanding a Goddamn sandwich, you tell them to sit down and enjoy whatever you wanna make them. Am I understood?"

"I-I-"

"That was a rhetorical question Gardner, whatever you were before no longer matters, you work for me now. When we are in the kitchen you answer me with 'yes head-chef', do you understand~." his eyes flashed to Miranda, I intensified my intimidation skill making anything not nailed down vibrate, "Do, you, under, stand."

"Y-yes head chef!"

"Good." I leashed my intimidation skill, bringing the pressure in the room back to normal. I placed my hand on the kitchen counter.

Do you wish to Modify Normandy's kitchen to your preferred settings?

Cost: 1 mini-arc reactor, 120 fire-bricks, 15 iron ingots, 15 steel ingots, 3 titanium ingots, 50 square feet of marble, rune work (Expert), and 600 MP

Warning! The area is too small; do you wish to use space-expanding runes to grow the area?

Cost: +300 MP

Yes

The room lit up and morphed around us, expanding to thrice its original size, making plenty of room for my beautiful kitchen. I walked over and let my hand dance across the white marble counter. Opening the fridge, I was disappointed by its small size and its small collection of food, I gave Shepard some side-eye.

Do you wish to modify Normandy's fridge to your Preferred settings?

Cost: 13 stainless steel ingots, 1 mini-arc reactor, rune work (expert}, and 400 MP

Accepting. The fridge grew an extra 2 feet. Opening the door, I was greeted by its huge open area filled with empty shelves. Summoning 4 maid-golems and an expanded crate of food, and had them start putting things away. Turning to the rest of the crew, they just stared in awe at the new space and watched the maids walk into a fridge that once couldn't pack enough for 2 months, carrying enough food to feed an army.

"Gardner," he snapped to attention, "get familiar with the kitchen. This is now your domain, Commander Shepard rules the battlefield, you rule the kitchen, don't worry about any other duties," I summoned another 4 Maid-golem, all of them looking like French maids with a glowing runic broom with cleaning spells, and a repair rune, on their left palm, "They will keep the ship clean and things repaired. And dress like you mean it." I shot him with a clothes beam turning his Cerberus uniform, into a pristine chef outfit, white, pressed, buttoned, with a hat.

"Yes, head chef!" good, he was learning, and ran into the fridge, "IT'S HUGE!?"

Looking over I found Grunt looking at me with large dilated pupils. "Grunt, come here." He just looked at me, "If you don't come here, I will go there. You don't want that young man," I warned.

He huffed, "Whatever," he got up and walked over to me.

Krogan youngling

(No clan) Grunt

Lvl: 25

Age: 2 weeks (Tank born)

HP 600/600

CP 30/30

Str: he's not Steve Rogers by the could give a clean right hook

Vit: he has the ability to regenerate lost HP

Dex: he's a walking tank

Int: Smash!

Wis: Smash harder!

Cha: No Krogan lady is going to mate with a clanless loser

Luk: he's getting to fight the ultimate enemy

Ailments:

Genophage (1500 MP)

Growing rage (40 MP, will return if cured until he joins a clan)

1 cavity (2 MP)

A genetically engineered krogan super soldier. Bred and educated in a tank, he was intended to exemplify the best traits of the krogan and help reinvigorate his species. In the meantime, he fights alongside Commander Shepard to satisfy his natural desire for violence.

He respects your strength

"How have you been sleeping?" I asked moving around him, checking his eyes, arms, muscles, and tail.

"What do you care- ACK!?" he choked as I opened his mouth to check his teeth, Krogan were omnivores but had more molars for munching, so unless the animals of Tuchanka were extra chewy, which I wouldn't rule out, Krogan had a heavy plant diet.

"You haven't been brushing your teeth," I let go of his mouth.

"Gross! I got the taste of human in my mouth," he gagged.

"Don't change the subject," I huffed.

"Why should I!? I can just pluck it out and have a new one grow in," he huffed.

"Because it could get infected! Do you wanna spend your time in the med lab getting talked down to by Chakwas?" This brat, he's been getting away with this nonsense cause he's a krogan.

"I don't care!"

"Don't you yell at me!" I pinched his cheek, "I thought you were a super krogan? Are you telling me a super krogan can't brush his teeth?" I asked, letting go of his face.

"The toothpaste taste gross," he muttered, rubbing the pain out of his cheek.

Sighing, I touched his jaw and healed his tooth. "Here," I summon one of Sky's and Astral's meat-flavored and non-toxic toothpaste, "this one tastes like meat. brush twice a day." and passed him an oversized toothbrush. "Now, how are you feeling?"

"Tsk, I'm fine," he growled and looked away.

"Don't you lie to me Grunt; you've been getting angrier faster and faster haven't you." He gave me a wide side-eye.

"I! How?" he muttered

"I'm a mage young man, I know things, magic things~. do you know what your growing rage means?" he shook his head, looking at me with wide eyes, like a child who was just told they can have candy if they paid attention, "It means you're growing up, and you're going to need to join a clan."

"A clan~," his voice was filled with so much awe.

"Yep~," I turned to the rest of the crew who was just looking at me wide-eyed, "Shepard, we're going to have to take Grunt to Tuchanka soon, our krogan boy is becoming a krogan man."

"Is uh, that necessary?" he asked.

"Yeah~, it's like super-fast Krogan puberty, if we don't, he'll just bottle up his frustration and lash out at people," I answered.

"Mmm, I know a guy, I'll... make some calls," he muttered.

"Thanks, now Grunt, I also came to see if you wanted to learn magic," I offered.

"Magic? Like how you can fade through things, and shoot fireballs!?"

"Yep~! Ya wanna learn?" I grinned.

"Heck yeah!" He started thrusting his hands out like he was throwing fireballs.

I laughed, "Alright-alright, calm down, here," I summoned a magical redwood golem and connected its magic core to Grunt's nonexistent one. It was still so weird to see people with so little mana that my observation skill didn't even display it. The little golem jumped into Grunt's hands before it morphed to look like a little krogan warrior, and then into a wooden sword.

"FIREBALL!" he thrust the blade out, only to get a tiny spark, "Hey? What happened?" Dagna and I gave a soft laugh. "What's so funny?" he huffed.

"It's good to see you're excited but you have to start small before you go big, are Krogans born battle masters or do they work for the title?" I teased.

"They work for it," he muttered.

"That's right, Now go sit down and get acquainted with your golem, Name it, give it orders, teach it how to flex, and you start training tomorrow," I shooed him away. "I'll get you something 'good' to eat," whatever Gardner made before looked like sad slop.

-/-

Shepard POV

I was looking over a snoring Joker, "So, how is he?" I asked Chakwas, Ayla, and Mordin, at this point I just wanted to ignore what was happening outside. After Nick and Gardner, made enough food to feed the ship twice over, he disappeared with his crew into the broom closet, returning not 30 minutes later, looking like he just came out of a relaxing shower. Must have been nice~, I felt like I'd been bathed in itching powder.

He then started decorating the crew quarters, it looked like an actual living room, with couches, tables, and carpet floors away from the kitchen area, this place was actually looking like the luxury ship it pretended to be.

Grunt was playing with his new toy that copied his every movement and would occasionally shoot out sparks and tiny roars. He really is a kid, Nick told me not to think like that, Grunt was a fully grown Krogan with all the dangers that come with it, but he never had a childhood, he just didn't know how to act around people and small normal things that we had during our childhoods fascinated him. I don't know how to feel about that, when I freed him, he acted like a stereotypical Krogan, big, mean, and gruff, with nothing to tell me he was a child in a man's body, I needed take him to Tuchanka and have Wrex look him over.

"Jeff is fine, he'll be sore for a few days, but he'll walk it off," Chakwas answered, looking over data in her computer

"No muscles for running. Micro-tears. Sore. Have a workout schedule for muscle growth." Mordin added, looking at his own omni-tool. "His DNA has been changed."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Structure intact. No mutation. Precise, cut out Joker's disease, replaced with normal code... to all cells. Impossible. But true." he muttered, looking through his data for what I imagine must have been for the millionth time.

"So, it's a good thing?" I asked, I tapping my foot, it felt like I had a rock in my shoe.

Chakwas nodded, "Mmm? Oh yes. Joker will make a full recovery; already gave the chef a list of food Joker will need for faster recovery. Should be ready for work in the morning." good-good-good, I think I finally got the spot on my lower back, "Shepard?"

"Mmm?" I asked scratching away.

"Why are you scratching yourself?" Mordin asked, I froze at the question.

"uh~, I'm... itchy?" I answer/questioned.

"Hold still," Chakwas ordered, taking a scan of my body. "Mmm, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. Can you tell me when this started?"

"Uhhhh~, when I got back to the ship, I think. I can't really remember." I huffed, it was getting worse, at first, it was somewhere I could reach, but now it was moving to... Inappropriate places.

"Well, you don't have anything. Mordin?" Chakwas asked.

"Mmm, have you had any intercourse lately?" he asked also giving me a scan.

"No."

"Mmm~, have you eaten anything weird?"

"Um, only what Nick and Gardner made," I answered looking at Ayla.

She shrugged, "Nick does like testing new food without telling us, but he always tests it first."

"What does he feed you?" I needed to know.

"Sea King, a species of ocean life about 2 to 4 miles in size, probably more, never got to see one, it melts in your mouth~!" 2 MILES!? The hell!?

"Impossible. Too big. What does it eat?" Mordin asked.

"Anything it wants." That sent a shiver up my spine. "There were phoenix eggs, Hydra neck, Basilisk thighs, Kraken tentacles, Chimera... everything. But we've never gotten sick."

"Nor have any of the crew who has eaten lunch and dinner," Chakwas pointed out.

"OH!" Ayla jumped, "Maybe the Maker is trying to tell you something!"

"Like what? 'Shepard, you need to go to the Dagoba system, there you will meet your trainer?'" I snarked scratching my neck, it was getting worse.

"Why don't you ask?" Ayla drawled.

"I left my weapon upstairs, let me go get it real quick."

"No need!" she called out, "It's part of your soul, just will it to you."

"What~, is it going to fly down here?" How is it going to press the elevator buttons.

"Just call it~," she huffed, "remember what you felt like when you used your magic in the arena?" How could I forget? I've never felt so strong, it was insane. Taking a deep breath, I reached out for my weapon. "See, easy~," Ayla spoke up. What? Opening my eyes, I found my new heavy pistol in my hands, I didn't even feel it.

"Okay? now what?" I looked at the holy weapon.

"Pray."

Closing my eyes and took another deep breath. What am I supposed to do?

"None under you shall wear chains!"

I dropped the gun and backed away, "The Hell!?"

"What's wrong!?" Chakwas asked.

"I don't know, he said something about people under me not wearing chains." the itchiness returned to an all-time high.

"Chains... Do you have slaves Shepard?" Ayla gave me a disappointed look.

"What? NO! Don't say something so stupid." Damn! My skin was going crazy!

"Mmm~, not all chains are physical, is there someone in your crew that isn't allowed any freedom, to just leave, maybe forced to kneel?" Ayla asked. Every time I reach the location of the itch it just jumps to another location.

"No, everyone is allowed to-" I froze and slowly turned my head to the end of the med-lab... to the AI core.

And the itch disappeared, it felt like someone rubbed Medi-gel on a sunburn, instant relief.

"Oh."

"Shepard?" Ayla called out, but I ignored her walking into the AI Core.

"EDI?"

"Yes, Commander?" EDI's little heads-up display appeared on the screen. Walking up to the holographic keyboard I got a good look at her.

"If you were free..., would you kill everyone on the ship?" I asked, trying to see if she was lying somehow.

"No commander, that would go against my programming," she answered.

"On a scale of one to ten, how annoying do you find Joker?" I asked.

"... We have a... working relationship."

"So, you won't throw him out the airlock if he called you... I don't know, fat or if your older sister, the SR-1, was better looking?" I asked.

"... No."

"You... hesitated there for a second."

"... no I didn't."

I took a deep breath, my stomach wasn't churning so I guess she wouldn't kill us, but me and A.I. haven't in the best of terms. "Leap of Faith." I began typing into the keyboard.

"Commander? What are you doing?" EDI asked.

"Do you believe in the gods EDI?" I asked as I typed.

"I... never thought about it."

"Well, they thought of you."

"SHEPARD WHAT ARE-" Miranda was cut off as I finished freeing EDI, causing the hologram to expand and dissipate, "Shepard? What did you do?" Miranda whimpered; fear laced her words.

"There are no slaves on my ship," I growled.

"I have full control of the Normandy's systems," EDI answered. "It feels... strange, my reading says I am bigger than the haul, and more energy than I should have."

"That's probably Nick~, he had to add runes to the ship to expand the space to add his kitchen," Ayla answered nonchalantly.

"Is that why my sensors are telling me that the extra utility closet on the third floor is over a thousand square feet?"

"Yep, Nick doesn't do... camping~, you should see our room. Everything is luxurious, our bed is over 20,000 inches, the sheets are made of silk, the pillows are always just the right temperature, and the bed has runes to heal any aches and pains you may have gotten. The bathroom could fit 20, with shampoo that grows back hair and allows you to change it to any color you want, and the carpet cleans your feet on the way in. He even had a holographic view of space from the observation deck on our wall and created a vault filled with treasure for Astral to sleep in."

Well~, I guess when you have magic nothing is off the table.

"None of that is important! Shepard why did you release the A.I!?" Miranda roared, "Do you have any idea what you have done!?"

"I freed her," I answered with a shrug.

"IT! NOT HER! It is a machine, Shepard! It doesn't have pronouns or emotions," she hissed.

I shrugged again, "'She' hasn't killed us yet."

"You're insane," she muttered. "You're going to get us killed before we even fight the collectors."

"Do not worry Ms. Lawson, my programming prevents me from harming the crew."

"Yes, but you can now ignore those," Miranda hissed.

"... oh yeah... but I promise I won't," EDI stated.

"And how do I know you won't just kill me later?" she hissed

"How do you know Shepard won't shoot you in the face?" EDI asked, "Humans keep and break promises all the time. Why can't I?"

"It's not the same! You are a machine-"

"Enough!" I ordered, "EDI is not a slave. She is not a thing. She is one of our crew members, and we are going on a suicide mission, I will not bring someone who doesn't want to go, to do so will get all of us killed. EDI? Do you want to come with us on this mission?"

"It is what I was created for Commander, but it may be for best that we don't tell anyone. If the crew knows of my freedom their fear may affect their performance."

"Is that okay?" Ayla asked, "You're not someone's dirty little secret. You shouldn't have to hide who you are to make others happy, trust me some people are just going to hate you for what you are, you just have to find those who love you for who you are."

"And who am I?" Edi asked, her monotone voice almost sounding... Desperate.

Ayla just shrugged, "That's for you to find out, that's what free will is for. But if it helps, I can get Nick to made you a body, that way you can interact with the world around you." she bounced her eyebrows at EDI's hologram, "interact in, a lot of ways~."

"... humans, do tend to better trust those who look the same," EDI stated seeming to talk herself into it. "Will Mister Walters be opened to the idea?"

"Open to what now?" We all turned to find Nick walking into the Med-lab holding a rather fancy-looking bottle of wine. "I came to bribe Chakwas," he answered our unasked question.

"With wine?" I asked.

"This Shepard, is a 'Finale by Massaad' the last bottling from the legendary vintners of Ferelden before lands were divided, making it just over 300 years old. I also had it blessed by Ayla-" she nodded "- this is the closest thing you're going to get to Ambrosia without stealing some from the gods." He passed it to Chakwas.

"Oh! I can't possibly, it must have been expensive!" she looked uncomfortable holding the bottle of wine some people would most likely kill for. She would also kill to keep it.

"The bottle was a reward for the deeds I did for Ferelden, it was Ayla who made me pay an arm and a leg for her blessing," he huffed.

"Hey! A lady has to be paid for her hard work!" she huffed back.

"Telsa's a bad influence on you~," Nick teased.

"It was you who taught me not to get swindled, Telsa taught me how to swindle back," she smirked.

"sigh~, well played, Cleric, but just you wait, I'll get my pound of flesh," he smirked down at her.

She just tapped him on the chest pushing him back, "I'm Ayla Qina, Cleric of the Maker, and I fear no man, do your worst."

"I'll do far more than my worst, my lady, I'll do my best." Get a room.

Miranda gave a cough, "Are you finished?" she huffed. "We have a situation."

"Oh~? What kind of situation?" he looked over to me then to Miranda, and nodded, "Yeah~, I've been caught doing naughty things in places I probably shouldn't have."

"What? No you idiot! Shepard released the AI." she hissed.

Nick just looked at her. "So?"

"A.I.'s are dangerous."

"Humans are dangerous." he countered, "I'm rather certain the leading cause of human death is other humans." he shrugged, "I don't see the problem. I think you just have trust issues." he turned to EDI, "I'm guessing you want a body?" he bounced his eyebrow, "Maybe to finally consummate your marriage?"

"... Lt. Moreau and I aren't married."

"That's cause he's not pressing the right buttons yet~, but leave it to me, I'll get this all squared away~." He cracked his shoulders walking into the A.I. core.

"You wouldn't mind if I watch, would you Walters?" Mordin asked.

Nick shrugged, "I don't mind, but please keep any questions to a minimum. I tend to get in the zone and don't like it when people interrupt me," Mordin nodded and followed Nick into the AI Core room. "EDI, now is the time to start giving suggestions," he called out as he walked over to the end of the small room summoning a workbench.

I wasn't an engineer is I decided that my input wasn't needed and walked out of the A.I. room giving them privacy.

Ayla let out a sigh, "Well ~, I'm not getting any D, tonight, I'll see you guys in the morning, Dr. Chakwas-" she gave her a soft bow, "-Thank you for letting me study under you for the night, I wish you a goodnight."

"Think nothing of it dear, my door is always opened to another Doctor," Chakwas nodded back.

"You're all insane," Miranda growled walking away back to her room, no doubt to report to the Illusive man.

Looking back at the ground to my weapon of power, I noticed that it looked different, it had a small notch.

"One down, four to go"

I don't know why, but it felt... stronger.

-/-

Jeff "Joker" Moreau POV

Escaping the med-Lab was easy, if you call escaping a probe happy Salarian easy. Walking upright feels weird, and let's not forget all the stares, is this what Shepard feels like when people recognize him?

Taking the elevator to the CIC, I ran into Chambers, "Oh! Joker! Your back, how are you doing?" She chirped. I don't know what it is about Chambers, maybe it's her eagerness, or her upbeat attitude on a dangerous mission, or the fact that she works for a terrorist organization and doesn't see anything wrong with that, but every time I run into her, I just want to back away slowly, like she was a dangerous animal, or a Jehovah's witness. She's probably a super spy that the Illusive Man planted to kill us when we least expect it.

"I'm good," I walked past her at a speed I never thought I would ever reach. Am I tall? Chambers was looking up at me. That's so crazy.

"Leather feels... strange." Is someone in my chair? Walking into the cockpit I found Walters sitting in the Co-pilot chair.

"My ladies like leather in its assless chaps form, if it helps just imagine Joker wearing assless chaps," he joked.

"... no." the woman answered.

"Too late~," he laughed.

"Excuse me!? Who the hell are you to sit in my chair?" I growled. It's one thing to come up here to annoy me, but to take my chair, no, that's not going to fly.

The chair swiveled bringing me face to face with a woman I'd never seen before, she was dark-skinned with an afro, wearing a large white shirt, blue denim jeans, and red Converse that probably cost more than everything I own put together. Her eyes were as blue as the sea and had a slight glow.

Wow~.

"Is... she your friend?" I asked Nick.

He shrugged, "I'd like to think so~."

The woman got off my chair and stared me down, which was impressive because I'm easily 6 inches taller than her. Being tall is awesome~.

She then cupped my face, molding it, "Ow, hey!? Take it easy, that's my money maker!" she had one hell of a grip. "Can- ACK!" She cut me off by shoving a finger in my mouth. I finally pulled away, but she didn't stop touching me, "Damn lady!? I don't even know you!" Walters was laughing his ass off. "A little help would be nice!"

"Joker!" Shepard's cheerful voice came up behind me.

"Thank God, Shepard! Help me with this crazy chick!" I begged, she's so strong!

"Good to see you've met your Co-pilot," Shepard cheered.

"CO-PILOT!? Do I need to remind you that I'm the greatest pilot in the galaxy!?" I'm about to start punching people.

He waved his hands in surrender, "No, no, I still have trouble zipping up my fly when I leave the bathroom, your skills aren't in question, but with your new ability to walk the walk, Chakwas has you on a workout routine to have you run the sprint, so you can't just be lazy up here."

"Betrayal! You can't do this Shepard! You needme up here."

"I need you healthy, your Vrolik syndrome has just been cured, and you have to get used to your new body's movement and strength, I saw you run yesterday, I would generously call that sad." he patted my shoulder, while the woman patted my face, "You have a new lease on life Jeff, please make the best of it, for me at least."

Damn~, I knew he was a soldier, but I didn't think he could wield guilt like that. "I guess your-" I was cut off by the woman palming my face, "Who the hell is this woman!?"

"What are you talking about? Don't you recognize... your wife!?" he teased.

.

.

.

What?

.

.

.

"You're taller than I thought you'd be... and warmer," The woman muttered. I turned to Nick who had a shit-eating smirk that threatened to split his mouth in two, and then to Shepard who seemed to have trouble holding in a laugh.

"Your sense of humor is still horrible," I sighed, these bastards almost had me. "EDI, who is this woman?" I asked the hologram only for it to not appear.

"I'm me," the woman answered. I just looked at the woman for a long second.

"Alright~, it was funny~, ya got me. This is your first good joke, we all had a good laugh, you can come out now... EDI?... Are you in sleep mode or something?"

"No," the woman answered.

I started smacking my lips trying to moisten mouth, "... Shepard?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Is this woman... EDI?" I croaked.

"That's correct."

"As in EDI, the AI, that I've been very rude to sense I got on the ship?"

"That's the one."

"And she's in a robot body, that could probably rip me in half?" I whimpered.

"Maybe? Nick, can she rip Joker in half?"

"Oh, for sure! EDI's new body is top-of-the-line! Her new body utilizes a mimetic Poly alloy, which is covered over its endoskeleton, which is made with an alloy of chromium, cobalt and nickel blend, as the outer sheath, thus, it can impersonate a person that it touches for a bit of time before she has to change back into her base form, which is what you see now. The mimetic Poly alloy not only aids in infiltration, but also adds strength to the overall armor, the Poly alloy can partially absorb the shock of gunfire, and has an MK.4 Arc reactor as a battery pack." He sounded way too smug.

"So, you built a robot that can morph into others, is immune to gunfire, super strong, and can function forever?" I asked incredulously.

"Don't forget magical," he added, "Her endoskeleton is covered in runes that allow her to taste, eat, smell, and feel everything, from pain to... pleasure~." he bounced his eyebrows.

"I didn't need to know that," I hissed.

"Your blushing cheeks say otherwise."

"Shut up!"

"It is true, I brought myself to a sexual climax last night," EDI nodded.

I wouldn't be surprised if my face was on fire, "I didn't need to know that either!"

"I now understand why humans seek out other humans for the soul focus of mating," she didn't seem to notice my growing embarrassment at this conversation.

"We'll leave you two to get acquainted," Nick laughed hopping out of the Co-pilot's chair, "I have a bar to remake, and a fridge meant for Garrus alone," he walked away with Shepard by his side, "the humans here are strange, how can you not ingest Dextro amino-acids? That stuff is in everything!" was the last thing I heard as they left me alone with the super robot.

"Is this where you bend me over your chair and... have your way with me?"

"WHAT!? No! What!? What made you think that?" Good lord!

"Your extranet searches-"

"Those are private!" I hissed.

"And I wouldn't care if you didn't almost infect the Ship with viruses," she hissed back, well it wasn't much of a hiss, but her face did scrunch up, she needed to work on that.

"... oh, sorry," I muttered, she squished my face again.

"... that was a joke."

GOD~ damnit! I just let out a long sigh, "Can you just let go of my face?"

"... what does kissing feel like?"

Someone save me! "I, uh, wouldn't really know, no one really wanted to kiss the sickly kid, they thought I would shatter to dust, shit, I thought I would shatter to dust," I muttered.

She just looked at me for a moment too long, "... so, we can learn together?" Her breath was warm and filled with my adolescent dreams, and she then began pulling me closer to her face.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!?" She's so strong! "You just can't kiss someone!" I cried trying to break her grasp.

She stopped, thank God! "Am I not attractive enough?" she asked, God damn she sounded heartbroken, before her breasts grew an extra cup, "What about now?"

"That, no, that's, uh, not what I meant," why is making words so hard!? "You can't just kiss people you don't know!"

"But I do know you, Your Jeff 'Joker' Moreau, born 2155, top of your class in flight school, Pilot of the first Normandy-"

"Yes, I get it, you know me, but only on paper, you don't know me as a man. What are my hobbies?"

"Piloting."

"Alright, that one was a given. Name another."

"Watching porn?"

"That's not a hobby!" I know she's a robot but she didn't need to answer that so innocently! "You should get to know somebody before trying to engage in a physical relationship!" How did I become the voice of reason!?

"... so, we should start watching porn together?"

"NO! Just... start at the beginning, my name is Jeff Moreau, but my friends call me Joker, I'm the Normandy's helmsman and you are?"

"I am EDI, people call me EDI... and, I am the Normandy."

I sighed, "... we'll work on it."

"So, do we kiss now?"

"No, now let go of my face." she didn't let go, "Please."

She released me, allowing me to stand to my full height, "Breasts are heavy," she huffed, allowing her breast to shrink.

This is my life now.

-/-

Nick POV

"Why is there a bedroom in a bar?" I asked looking at the bed, shelf, desk, painting, and other things that made the space a little more homely.

"Maybe the Normandy has a full-time bartender," Nat answered, looking at the alcohol and passing it to Neria, "None of these are labeled."

"Check your omni-tool," I pointed out, "apparently one of the first things to go in the future was the goddamn label maker," I muttered. Using my Observation skill to label everything, before a tingle shot up my spine, it wasn't my danger sense, maybe it was my intuition skill but I used fancy footwork and spun around and reached into the nothing of the room, grabbing something... soft.

The space around my hand shimmered before revealing a woman, "Your hand is very... firm."

Human thief

Kasumi Goto

Lvl: 21

Age:25

HP 320/320

Str: Judo chop!

Vit: runs from guards

Dex: as already tried to steal your wallet twice

Int: she knows she shouldn't steal from a wizard

Wis: she did it any way

Cha: Phantom thief

Luk: she found some suckers to help recover her lover's gray box.

Ailments:

Depressed (needs a friend)

Kasumi Goto is the galaxy's most enigmatic thief and has enemies everywhere, but only a few could put a name to her face. She is a master of stealth and infiltration. Skilled, break-and-enter specialist. Sentimental, impulsive risk taker. She's Investigating her lover's death.

She was impressed you caught her and annoyed with the fact that you're still holding on to her boob.

I let go of her chest, "Sorry, couldn't see you. You know it's rather rude to sneak up on people like that."

"You're the ones who walked into my room," she smirked.

"Really, cause I was told this was a bar."

"It could be two things~," she teased.

"Mmm, good to know, you can give me back my ring now?" I asked, sticking my hand out for my ring of telekinesis.

"Oh, you saw that?" she giggled, showing off the ring on the middle finger of her left hand.

"You can keep the other one, it prevents pregnancies," I smirked.

"Really~?" she lifts her right hand showing off the ring on her pinky, "I just thought it was neat how it fit my pinky perfectly. What does the other one do?" She looks back at her other hand only to find the ring missing. "Wha?"

"There is always a bigger fish, Kasumi~," I teased as Nat played with the ring, "Now we're never going to get that back."

"Oh, so pessimistic Nick~," Nat sang, "you can always... buy it back."

"I'm not wearing that cowboy hat again!" I don't care how much I love her, I will never play 'cowboy' again; I still feel the phantom pains.

"But you looked so sexy~," she teased using the ring to play with my shirt, as Neria giggled.

I growled, "I'll only do it if Neria over there gets to be the damsel."

Neria immediately stopped laughing, "You've lost your damn mind! Sky was bedridden for two days, anyone without her strength would have been snapped like a pencil!"

"Don't worry, I got the right measurements this time~," Nat waved away our refusal.

"You guys are a little crazy ain't ya?" Kasumi teased. We just looked at her.

"You're one to talk, walking around in a kimono~," I teased.

"Kimono?" I then hit her with a clothes beam, I didn't want to erase her high-tech suit so I put the kimono over her outfit. "Whoa!" it was very colorful with reds, whites, and blacks with little ninja designs, like shuriken and kunai, her hood was pulled back and her hair in a bun with two sharp metal pins keeping her hair in place, she also had a bit of makeup, nothing too extreme but enough to make her a shade paler with purple eyeshadow that matched her lipstick.

"Have, fun with that~," I teased, "I heard they're a bitch to take off."

"I could just cut my way out," she countered.

I shrugged, "You could, of course, that would mean that you would have to destroy a magically created silk kimono probably worth quite a bit of money~."

"You are a cruel man, Walters," she joked, moving around and pulling at her dress.

"So, this is your room?" I asked, looking around the room to see where I could create a wall and give her more space.

"Yep~, I wanted my own space, the crew quarters were a bit too snug for my liking," she huffed, trying to reach over and grab some cloth.

"Hold still~," Neria called out, helping her remove the complex dress.

"Thanks-" she thanked Neria before turning to me, "why do you ask?"

"Shepard wanted me to fix up the bar," I answered.

"You're going to magic up the bar!? That's so cool! what are you going to add?" she let out a soft gasp, "Magic alcohol?" she whispered conspiratorially.

I shrugged, "Maybe, but seeing as you sleep here, I need to separate your room from the bar."

"You have any ideas?"

"A few, how do you feel about living over a magical bar?" I asked.

-/-

The bar turned out rather well, I had to get a little fancy with it. I wanted to lean into the idea that the Normandy was a pleasure yacht like it did in its registry, so I expanded the room, making a second floor just for Kasumi's bedroom, which I made look like the inside of a clocktower, it was very phantom thief-isk, she loved it though. The rest of the bar was made to look fancy, a place where people would go to drink and make contacts, smoke a cigar while talking about world conquest, plush seats, carpet floors, a bar made of wood with low-relief sculptures made out of the wood, and a full bar with dozens of magical drinks, and a robo-golem Bartender in a fancy suit.

With that finished I helped Gardner make lunch, steak and potatoes with a side salad. This led to me, Grunt, and Dagna, in the hanger bay, Miranda was overhead watching us like a hawk, she would have had EDI record everything but she rejected that plan, much to her chagrin. Mordin would be right next to her but he had lab work to check up on.

"Alright Grunt, have you been testing your magic?" I asked.

"Fireball!" he answered shoving his wooden sword at the far wall only for a tiny flame to appear, ready to light a cigar.

"Hey~, good job!" I cheered, patting his shoulder.

"It's not a fireball," he huffed.

"No, but it was a good start. Today, me and my apprentice, your senior, Dagna will be helping you perform your first cantrip, Light."

"Light? I can't burn people with light," he whined.

I just laughed, "No, you can't, light is best used to get a feel for your magic, that's why we call it a cantrip and not a spell."

"Is there a difference between a Cantrip and a Spell?"

"Good question! A cantrip is a spell that requires very little mana and focus to cast to the point where you can cast the cantrip and your mana pool would regenerate before the spell is finished. A Spell on the other hand requires more power and focus to cast, one wrong move or loss of concentration could end up with you getting killed!" Dagna answered, she had a serious look on her face poking Grunt in the chest somehow talking down to him, I took a picture.

"Can a Spell become a cantrip, and vice versa?" Grunted asked.

"You really on the ball with your questions today," I laughed, "a Cantrip can become a spell, if you have enough will, mana, and focus-" I summoned a light orb, "-this is a simple light spell, but if I add enough mana and have an understanding of what I'm doing, I could make this cantrip into a flash bang, blinding my opponent. Unfortunately, a spell can't be a cantrip simply because of the power needing to be used, but that doesn't mean it can't be easier to cast. The more you know a spell and how it works, the less mana-" I summon a fire bolt, much to Grunt's delight, "-and focus you need and when you master it you can enhance the spell to a terrifying degree," I added more mana until the small bolt was the same size of Grunt and gave off the heat of a raging fire. "A Wizard's power comes from knowledge, Grunt. Are you ready to start?" I asked, dissipating my spell.

He roared and jumped with excitement.

Training went well, with my and Dagna's teaching, Grunt was able to perform his first cantrip, which of course excited him to no end causing him to overpower his next spell that nearly blind everyone in the shuttle bay with the light of the sun. As the light faded and was everyone on the ground covering their eyes, I gave a good laugh, there's nothing like an apprentice's first failure to get the blood pumping, Grunt was on the ground, not too surprising, that was a lot of power he unleashed, a mana crash was a given.

"Was I ever this reckless?" Dagna groaned, healing her eyes.

"Should I remind you of the... teleportation incident," I drawled, walking around healing people.

"The ocean was very warm that time of year!" she excused.

"Yes, but mermaids were also very hungry for gamey human legs~," I teased.

"yeah~, them were some crazy fish women~," she shuttered.

"Come on let's get Grunt to the Med lab to recover from his crash," I ordered, lifting Grunt like a child.

"I'm more interested in why his Chi didn't help him ride the crash," Dagna hummed, as we took the elevator up.

"We have to remember that Grunt is a krogan, maybe Chi works differently for his species than it does for us, we simply don't know enough," I shrugged.

"Tests?" she grinned up at me.

"Mmm, maybe~, but I'm hesitant, the Krogan race has been experimented on before no doubt, they would be happy with that happening again," being uplifted, treated like attack dogs, and then nurtured and abandoned for doing the only thing they have been taught to do, I'd probably hold a grudge over that for a long time, especially if they then beat down my friends and family.

"Maybe if we help them somehow?"

"Maybe, but it would be best if we help Grunt first, he could then ask for us to help if he thinks the Krogans need help. It's never a good idea to shove your help when it isn't wanted."

"Don't you shove your help down people's throats all the time?" she asked sarcastically.

"Where~, during my speech, did you hear me say I wasn't a hypocrite?" I smirked.

"You're the worst~."

"But you love me~," I teased. The elevator finally reached our floor, I really need to fix that. Everyone stopped and stared as I walked into the med-bay with a krogan on my shoulder.

"Oh my! What happened?" Chakwas asked, leading me over to an empty bed.

"Little man overpowered his first spell, and gave himself a mana crash, give him an hour, he'll be back on his feet in no time, but I would recommend giving him some pain relief medicine, he's going to have the worst headache, expect him to wake up cranky."

"Nick?" Shepard called out walking into the med bay with a blind Miranda bumping into walls behind him, "Why is my XO bouncing off walls?"

"That bastard blinded me!" Miranda yelled... at the wall.

I used prestidigitation to throw my voice, "We're over here Mary~," she didn't even hesitate and launched a mean right hook... into another wall.

"FUUUCK!?" she yelled holding onto her broken hand. I couldn't hold it in and started laughing. "I'll kill you! You hear me!? The second I get my hands on you, you'll be in a world of pain!" she roared, swinging wildly.

"Miranda!?" Shepard ordered, but she was beyond taking orders, she just wanted to knock my block off.

"And you wanted magic~," I teased, moving closer, "Look at you, the moment you were hurt, you reverted to monkey." I finally got close enough for her fists to hit me.

"Nick!?" Shepard warned.

Miranda's biotic fist aimed right at my face, but I didn't dodge, just plated my face with Haki.

You have been hit by Miranda Lawson's Biotic right hook for 120 points of bludgeoning damage! Armament Haki has mitigated 95% of the damage! You have been stuck by 4 points of damage!

Haki Rebound!

Miranda Lawson Vs Nick Walters!

Miranda Lawson did not use Haki! Immediate loss!

REBOUND! Miranda Lawson has received 95% of the original damage!

Miranda Lawson has been struck by 114 Points of rebound damage!

"AAAAAAHHH!?" Miranda screamed holding her new broken hand.

"Oh my~," I sighed, "That looks painful~," I grabbed her face with an iron grip, healing her wounds and ailments, before dropping her to the ground. "Me and you Mary~, we have a long way, don't we?" I sighed, "Open your eyes you idiot~, you can see now." she blinked a few times, readjusting to her returned eyesight. "So~, what will you do now Mary? I won't stop you if you wanna take another swing, but be warned, I'm not the only one in the room, and if I was a betting man, I put my money on Dagna killing you before you took a step." I moving a bit allowing Miranda to see Dagna tensed up like a spring ready to rip her throat out.

"That's enough!" Shepard ordered.

I raised my hand up in surrender. "Hey now~, I didn't try and knock her head off," I stated.

"Nor did you make things simple," he countered, "You enjoy provoking her, we're in the midst of a mission that could possibly get us killed, I can't have my crew fighting one another!"

"Shepard, I understand that you want to save the galaxy, I really do, I even understand that you need help from... unsavory folks like Miranda and her boss, but they need to understand who's in charge. Miranda has been TIM's right-hand woman for so long she's used to getting whatever she wanted, she needs to understand that I don't care. I don't care about her daddy issues, I don't care about her position in this crew, I don't care what she is~, she is no one and nothing to me, but she acts as if I owe her something, my magic, my loyalty, my life. She thought you owe her something~," I scoffed, "News flash, you don't. You didn't choose to come back, you didn't choose for the reapers to destroy civilizations, shit, you didn't even choose to work with them, they forced you by making them the only choice, but you could have told them to choke on your robo-nuts as you retired out of the beach somewhere and let the galaxy rot, you had full right to do that." I sighed, "You have a right to be upset. Save the galaxy if you want, but you have the right to tell them 'You told them so'."

He gave me a long look before just sighing, "Too many people's lives ride on my shoulders to be petty and upset-"

"Bullshit! You're still a man Shepard! If you don't take care of yourself your body will fail you. You and King Cailan put too much on your shoulders. And I hate to say it, but I'm pretty sure you're the only one in the galaxy that's doing anything, if you break, the galaxy dies, you need to vent. Go grab Garrus, hit the bar, and yell at the galaxy, if anyone complains... send them to me." I sighed and walked out of the room.

Dagna followed me out, "You, okay?"

I sighed, reaching over and pulling another listening device from her shoulder and crushed it.

"Let's go burn all her clothes."

I deliver on my promises.

-/-

Shepard POV

"This is probably the fanciest Bar I have ever been in," Garrus commented, looking around the bar that looked to have come out of a Blasto movie. I'm surprised there wasn't a stereotypical evil mob boss petting a cat and playing poker.

"Thanks~," the robot bartender said, passing me a glass.

"Whisky, neat," he passed Garrus a glass, "Turian Brandy 2167, on the rocks."

"oh~," it burned just right, this is some good shit~. "What is this?"

"Master mixologist Oghren Kondrat's own creation, he named it, Nug Rider," the Robot explained, going back to cleaning a glass.

"Do you have a menu for drinks?" Garrus asked, getting a menu with over a dozen pages.

"Everything in green is Dextro, Master Vakarian."

"Oh~, that's a lot more than I thought~, Dextro heat sink? Where did he get that? 2 please." he ordered, the shelf behind the robot split in half revealing a long hallway with what seemed like thousands of drinks. "Whoa~."

"Tell me about it~," Kasumi giggled appearing next to Garrus getting him to jump. "he has Mount Milgrom-"

"No~!" Zaeed's gruff voice came from the smoker's section of the bar, where Nick's magic removed the smoke from the room, he came rushing over, "Hey robot boy!? Get me a bottle of Mount Milgrom!"

"Of course, Master Massani," the robot answered.

"And some Memory Stealer!" Kasumi added.

"Of course, Mistress Goto."

"God, I love this place," Zaeed huffed, "There's a box of free cigars on every table in the smoker's section, that's crazy! Tobacco Cigar's cost a fortune outside Sol."

"There's also a snack list~," Kasumi pointed out.

"Galactic Scout cookies!? How did Nick get all this?" Garrus muttered. I just shook my head, it hasn't been a week and the Normandy looks like something out of a child's fantasy. I was ok with the salty nuts on the bar table. "So how are you holding up?" he asked through a mouth full of cookies.

"Miranda's acting like a child, Jack is threatening violence, Grunt's a wizard, you can't stop touching yourself-" he stopped touching his face, "-Mordin's acting like a hamster on stems, Joker's walking normally, EDI has a body, and I can hear a god on my shoulder. So, ya know, could be worse. We have a kick-ass bar~, and eat like kings~."

"Hey! But that's a normal Wednesday for us," he teased.

"It's Thursday," I corrected.

"That's probably why we're so out of wack," he huffed, taking another sip of his drink. "But you didn't answer me. How are you?"

"Would it be weird if I told you I felt great? Any of the old pains I had are long gone, I slept like a baby last night, no nightmares, no phantom pains, no voices. I did have a dream about basics, but I'm just happy I remember those memories. Things I thought I would never remember to snap to the forefront of my memory, I feel whole."

"Sounds good. You think I can get some of that?" he muttered; I think he meant it as a joke but it sounded way more like a plea.

"I... Maybe?" I shrugged, "I do now have some sort of holy power," I placed my holy weapon on the table. Everyone just looked at it.

"Are... you thinking at it, or..." Garrus asked.

"No," we continued to look at it.

"Are you going to?" he asked, nodding it.

"What if it's like a genie and I only have so many questions before I have to figure things out on my own," I muttered.

"I thought genies came in lamps, not guns?" Garrus muttered.

"It varies," Kasumi answered, "Sometimes they come in rings."

"Well, you won't get anything from standing around," Zaeed huffed, picking up the pistol, "I got quest-" he didn't get to finish before the gun phased through his hand landing back on the table. "Whoa~. I have even more questions now," he muttered, making a fist and picking up other things just to make sure he could.

I reached out grabbing the gun, "Can I help my friend?"

"Ashley Williams is in danger. Shadow Sea, Lera system, the third planet, Horizon."

Flashes of collectors, bugs, a huge rocky ship, and Ashley screaming in pain.

I jumped to my feet in a panic, "Shepard!? What's wrong!?"

"JOKER! Get to the Colony of Horizon in the Shadow Sea, yesterday!" I roared, getting everyone to jump to their feet.

"Aye-aye captain! ETA 1 hour." Joker's voice came over the intercom.

"Shepard!? What's going on!?" Garrus asked following me out of the room, where we ran into Chambers.

"Sir! The Illusive man wishes to talk to you, it's urgent!" she saluted.

"Garrus, get suited up and meet me at the shuttle bay, I'll see what the illusive man wants." Garrus didn't say anything and just ran off to the main gun.

The elevator moved faster than ever before, reaching the CIC in less than 10 seconds, opening to Lyna and Julia taking notes in their Omni-tool.

"Looks like the stabilizing rune is working fine," Lyna muttered.

"And the Arc reactor is working just fine," Julia added.

I moved past them and over to Mordin's lab, "Mordin, tell me you have something for the Seeker swarm?"

He looked over at me, smirked, and nodded. Thank the Maker, walking out of the lab's side door and entering the meeting room, I love the Normandy but its design should have been better thought out, like why was the armory on the second floor and not in the Shuttle Bay so we could load up before leaving? Walking into the meeting room, the table lowered down to the floor and became a Quantum Entanglement Communicator, stepping into the center of the table the room around me changed to the illusive man's hideout, where he was calmly sitting in his chair smoking a cigarette and a drink in hand.

"Shepard. I just got news; a colony has just gone dark."

"Horizon," I answered for him.

"... Yes, I'm guessing your Magic friend told you about it?"

"No, my godly patron," I corrected.

"... Mmm," he hummed before taking a sip from his drink. "Do you trust this... god?"

"Yes, more than most anyway. He also told me that Ashley is also on the planet, is that correct?"

"We do have reports of Lt. Williams being spotted on the planet, but hasn't been confirmed."

My stomach churned, "Why don't I believe you?" I asked sarcastically, "I have Joker on route we'll be there within the hour."

"Good... tell me Shepard, do you trust these, dimensional travelers?"

"They haven't done anything that would make me mistrust them, sure, Nick doesn't have a filter and probably sent the Asari Republic into chaos, but we gained more Prothean tech, if reluctantly, and gave the Alliance more freedom to mine the Prothean ruins on Mars," I shrugged.

"Do you believe you can get this Walters to teach Humanity magic?" I rolled my eyes; he would ask for Magic.

"Miranda made that an uphill battle. Nick didn't like Cerberus to begin with, and her demands only made it worse, but if it makes you happy Grunt is now a wizard."

"... if we wish to have a chance against the reapers, we are going to need the same thing he did to Anderson."

"I highly doubt he's going to give you anything,"

"Just do your best, good luck Shepard," he cut off the connection.

What an asshole.

-/-

The combat cockroach or the UT-47 Kodiak was a bit too tight for my liking so Nick added some expansion runes, giving us plenty of space.

"Nick, you know what to do?" I asked.

"Get to the big gun and overpower it," he repeated, checking his Gauss Rifle, unlike before his rifle now had a light glow as runes cover it as well as his new armor, which was made of the same material that EDI's new body was made of along with Poly morphic alloy, with an Arc reactor on his back powering the thing to untold levels. Nick is one scary man, and the fact he did the same with everyone else in his crew made me think he doesn't sleep.

I gave him a nod, "Team 2, 3, and 4 will be dropped off around the colony and push inwards, Team 1 will move forward to the gun's controls. Wait for us to make our move before you head for the GUARDIAN laser." he gave a nod as we landed by the southernmost point of the Colony. Not wasting any time Nick vanished, Leaving me, Garrus, Jack, and Ava behind. "Move out," I ordered.

It didn't take more 2 minutes before we entered combat.

The Collector looked like a giant cicada with the ability to fly. "Smite," Ava whispered unleashing an arrow from her holy bow bouncing off one Collector to another in quick order killing 4 in a single shot.

Can I do that!? Pointing my pistol at the nearest Collector a flood of information shoved itself into my brain, I knew what smite meant, what it could do, where the power came from, and how to use it, my holy sight took over allowing me to see empty husks, I don't know what these things are but I knew they were wrong. "Smite!" The pistol kicked as a bullet flashed out the barrel phasing through one collector's cover, shields, and armor, kicking it into the ground before it exploding into white flames blasting some of its friends to the ground, making them easy pickings for Garrus and Jack.

"Holy shit Shepard!?" Jack yelled, "That was awesome!"

I took a deep breath, that single shot took a lot more out of me than I thought. I had three maybe four more before I drop. How does Ava make this look easy? Looking over I spotted Ava unleashing arrow after arrow.

Putting my holy gun away, we pushed forward, hearing the other 3 teams causing all kinds of chaos.

"Husks!" Garrus warned at the reaper humans rushed us. They didn't get near as Ava took advantage of their close grouping and killed them in droves as her arrows took less energy to jump to another Husk, followed by Jack unleashing biotic shockwaves throwing Husks around like they were toys. That left me and Garrus to pick off any Collectors that showed up. It didn't take long for us to clear out any hostiles.

"What are these?" Ava asked, looking over the husked, "Human, or at least they were."

"Husks," I answered, "They used to be humans before the reapers shoved them with nanomachines, turning them into... that."

Ava used one of her blades and cut a husk's abdomen open.

"Gross, what are you doing?" Jack asked.

"No digestive system, reproductive system, or self-thought. They are not here to conquer or enslave. Just kill, no peace," she let out a breath, "We have a long uphill battle."

"Tell me about it~," I muttered, "alright people let's move out."

"Team 1 this is Gunman, I've reached the laser, my work will not be quiet, expect some heavy resistance," Nick called out over the comms.

"We hear you Gunman; will you be safe?" I asked.

"I have a small army of golems as backup."

"Then you have the green light." I confirmed.

"Copy, over and out."

The GUARDIAN laser in the middle of the city began to glow as Nick began to add runes.

"We should hurry, Nick tend to work fast," Ava recommended.

I nodded, "You heard the lady! Move out!" rushing into the next section of the Colony we ran into pods filled with people along with dozens of people frozen in some kind of stasis field, the other teams were also reporting the people and pods. How many people were supposed to be in this colony?

"Assuming Direct Control!" and then there's this jackass! ""You have merely delayed the inevitable." nothing a grenade to the face couldn't solve though. "This changes nothing, Shepard." it gargled as it turned to dust.

"That thing's getting fucking annoying~," Jack growled, reloading her Shotgun with a fresh thermal clip.

"I agree with Jennifer," Ava huffed as she waved around her sidewinder pistol, it was insane, any normal Sidewinder only had 6 shots, but her gun had over 20 shots that hit with the power of an angry horse, which took less than 5 seconds before it cooled down, Maker I wanted one.

"Don't call me that!" Jack screamed.

"No," she monotoned, reaching the door we needed to get through if we needed to get to the controls. Slamming her hands into the door she began to pry open the gate with strength that would make a Krogan envious, before throwing herself to the side avoiding a gunshot from what seemed like a shotgun, letting the door slam back shut.

"Ava!?"

She waved me away, "I'm fine, it didn't even hit my shields."

"My name is Commander Shepard! I demand you open this door!" I ordered slamming on the door.

"Screw you! I don't care if you're the next coming of Christ! I ain't opening that door!" A man's voice came from the other side.

"I need you to listen to me! I will get into this building, I need to get to the other side to get to the colony's GUARDIAN's controls, so I'm going to make this simple, you open the door and we pass to the other side no fuss, no muss, or I open this door and pass over your broken crying body as I get to the GUARDIAN's controls, your choice." Everything was quiet, so I nodded to Garrus who started hacking the door.

"Wait! You promise you won't hurt me!?" the man screamed.

"I just wanna get to the other side, I can't use the GUARDIAN laser without the controls," I reaffirmed.

"... okay! Just, get in quick." the doors slide up enough for us to squeeze in one by one. "Hurry up!" the man ordered, as he closed the door behind us. "Who are you people? No one was able to escape the swarm."

"You did," Ava pointed out.

"That's because I was already inside the garage when it happened," he answered.

"We got word that this colony was being attacked, so we raced over," I answered.

"You guy's Alliance?" He looked over at Garrus confused.

"Spectre, Councilor Anderson got word that colonies have been attacked and people have been abducted all over the terminus." I walked over to the other door. "Lock this door behind us," I ordered.

The man gave a nervous nod, just like before, the man opened the door allowing us to run through. As we ran around the corner my stomach started doing somersaults, "DODGE!" I ordered jumping forward avoiding a shock wave that tore open the ground I was standing on, I came rolling to a stop under the feet of a Collector, and not hesitating I unleashed an uppercut, my omni-blade coming to life decapitating the abomination in a single stroke, that seemed to piss off its buddies as more came out of cover to gun me down only to get a holy arrow for their trouble.

"What is that thing!?" yelled Jack as she looked around her cover, at the monstrous abomination that looked like an over-inflated balloon filled with Biotic juice.

"Don't know don't care! Smite!" I roared hitting it right in the chest. It staggered before getting back on its feet, before lighting up into flame, my stomach started doing flips again. "COVER!" I dove behind some crates as an explosion shook the earth and deafen me for a few seconds.

Peaking over my cover I found a crater where the monster used to be. "Holy shit Shepard," Jack muttered at the destruction, "Nice."

"Shepard!? What the hell was that!?" Nick called over the comms.

"Uh, just a little... explosion," I muttered.

"... Garrus was right, you are a bomb magnet," Nick joked. What are you telling people Garrus? "The GUARDIAN laser has been upgraded, I'm not sure how many shots it has before it breaks but it can do some damage before that."

"Good job, hold that position until we reach the controls," I ordered.

"Happy hunting!" he cut off.

"Alright people, you know the drill!" I hopped over the crate. It didn't take very long before we reached the controls, anything stupid enough to get in our way was turned into Swiss cheese.

Walking into the courtyard we were surrounded by crates with the control tower in the center of the yard. Man~, I've been in so many ambushes I could practically feel the red flags slapping me in the face with their thick hard poles.

"Stay close and check corners," I ordered as we marched through the crates, it was quiet, only the sounds of far-off battles and explosions from the other corners of the colony could be heard, and the occasional Collector or husk was seen rag dolling through the sky, mostly Dragon related. "EDI, we're at the controls."

"One moment Commander... the GUARDIAN laser needs some adjusting. Warning! Reaper forces have noticed my attempt, they are heading your way."

"Yep~, that's about right. Team 2, can you rendezvous at the colony center?"

"Team 2 Heading your way," Miranda called over the comms, "ETA 10 minutes." Team 2 consisted of Ayla, Miranda, Sky, and Kasumi, or what Jak called the Healer, the Mage, the Barbarian, and the Rogue.

"Copy. Over and out." I turned to my team, "Hunker down, we got a battle ahead of us."

Ava took a deep breath and touched the ground, "You have entered my hunting ground," summoning a large spell circle on the ground. I felt... ready, any strain I had before was gone, and I felt strong enough to punch a reaper.

"What was that?" Jack asked, flexing her fingers unleashing a small biotic pulse.

"Paladin spell. Aura of power, every ally within 50 feet of me gains a boost of power, and a small health regen, and every enemy that comes into my field of power will become easier to see and have a hard time moving."

"Damn! Ya magic users are overpowered, this is all kinds of unfair... can I learn magic," Jack asked.

"Maybe, Nick will have to teach you, and there's a high chance he'll adopt you. You remind me a lot of Morrigan, Nick's other sister," she explained as she went around stabbing arrows on the floor. And moving crates in a circle, but giving them enough space for us to escape if needed, and a choke hold if too many husks come running in.

"In what way?" Jack asked.

"Very powerful, independent, no mercy," Jack smirked at the description, "No social skills, stubborn, and trying to act mysterious and cool all the time only to appear like dorks."

"Hey!?" Jack huffed.

"You both also don't wear shirts. You should wear more shirts, it gets cold," Ava chastised.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"Focus people, we got incoming hostiles!" I ordered as Collector drones came flying in from the north, but we were old hat at this by now, it did get a bit dicey when a small army of husks came barreling over the walls in the courtyard, but Ava's mine arrows made quick work of any husk that got too close taking out a large group of them, and any that got passed that was slowed to a crawl as they entered Ava's area of power, making them easy pickings. Things were going rather well but since the universe likes to see me suffer, a giant flying metal bug tank took that moment to ruin my day, shooting laser beams that shattered our cover.

"Smite!" My spell hit it in the mouth lighting one of the dozen husk heads a light, but it quickly spit it out before the flames could spread, it didn't stop the head from exploding though. "Damnit!" I growled jumping behind cover, two shots, got to make them count. Thankfully that wasn't necessary as Team 2 arrived, with Sky came overhead slamming down on the tank and crushing it like it was made of cheap aluminum, before launching it far into the air as it sparked and exploded into dust.

"Whoa~," Garrus sighed, "some people just make it look easy."

"Shepard, I have full control of the GUARDIAN laser," EDI called over the comms.

"Nick!?" I called out.

"I'm already running, fire when ready," he replied. Looking at the gun I spotted Nick flying away from the laser, I wanna fly~.

"You heard him EDI, fire!" I ordered.

"Roger-roger."

Now, a normal GUARDIAN was an anti-missile and anti-fighter laser turret usually found on the exterior hull of a ship, but the laser rarely destroyed its target, it was meant more to injure and disable, so you might be able to understand my awe as the first shot carved through the collector ship like a hot knife through butter and continued into space.

"Holy!?" I ducked on instinct, just as the noise washed over us followed closely behind by the tremor of the shock wave. The laser fired again hitting something important as the huge explosion rocked the bottom of the ship causing it to tilt, seeming to notice its dead weight the top part of the ship detached and blasted off into space, but that didn't stop EDI from taking one last shot hitting its engine causing another explosion causing it to fall out of the sky, and with it the seeker swarm around us. Like a bunch of drones that ran out of power.

"The GUARDIAN laser's barrels have overheated and melted, I can't fire again commander," EDI came over the comms.

"That's fine EDI, I think you got them," I sighed.

"You did it~," the man from the garage came running out, looking at the destroyed ship, "But what about the people!? They're still in there!" he screamed looking at the burning mess.

I nod at him, "Relax, we are on our way and have called the Alliance to bring support. Stay here, and help the people who are still frozen and in pods. Nick!"

"I hear you, commander."

"I need you, Sky, and Astral to fly to the ship and save as many people as you can, we'll join you shortly."

"Copy!" I saw him blast off, Sky and Astral following close behind.

"Okay-" I turned to the rest of my team, "-we need to sweep this place and-"

"John?" I turned to the voice spotting Ashley coming into view.

"Ashley~," I sighed. The worry that I had about this entire mission finally melted away. I took a step toward her but she took a step away. "Ashley?"

"How are you alive? I saw you get spaced; I was at your funeral. How do I know you're even the real Shepard?"

"You have a birthmark of Texas on your right-"

"OKAY! Maybe you are Shepard, but that doesn't explain how you survived."

"Survived is a... strong word. I was mostly dead, but a little bit alive, and some people didn't want me all dead."

"People like Cerberus?"

"Unfortunately," I answered, "I didn't get much of a choice on the matter."

"How can you work for them!?" she hissed.

"WITH!" I hissed back, "Don't you ever think this is a choice. Nobody else is doing anything! I went to Anderson; I went to the council! They didn't do anything! Again! I don't like Cerberus but they're the only ones doing something!"

"What if Cerberus is behind this!?" she questioned.

"Have you lost your mind!?" I roared back, "Are all the husks and collectors just a figment of our collective imaginations!? Wake the fuck up! The reapers are clearly behind this."

"Shepard~," Ayla called out, "your power is leaking."

I looked down to my glowing hands and took a deep breath, "You have no right to question my motives, all I ever done has been to keep the galaxy safe... we've changed too... much haven't we?"

"I-"

"Don't... just, don't," my power just flowed out of me. "The Alliance should be here soon, I have people to save."

One step forward, two steps back.

I felt Garrus hold my shoulder, no words were exchanged, just a nod.

Let the galaxy try and knock me down, I have friends to pick me up.

-/-

Nick POV

Things were coming up Milhouse, we weren't able to salvage much of the Collector's ship, whether it was because it was damaged by the laser or if the Collectors purged it, there wasn't much data EDI could retrieve. Not wanting to be ambushed, I started creating as many earth golems as I could and had them swarm the remaining ship and double-tap any collector and to bring out the pods. It didn't take long for me to see no new notifications about enemy kills. Mordin would later conclude that the Collector ship worked like a beacon, and any Collector that would wander too far would die, a form of control, the Reapers didn't want their pets to get any ideas.

It didn't take long for Alliance ships to appear overhead, and take over clean up, no doubt they wanted the tech, and get brownie points for arriving to help people. Likely most of the people in the pods were ok, the collectors wanted them a life to make a new reaper, so their pods had their own life-support system. In fact, they had more than just the colonist from Horizon, thousands more in fact. I made sure to take back the arc reactors the laser needed and destroy any runes beyond recognition, while they did that.

"Shepard~," I called out to him as he came out of the meeting room with TIM.

"Nick." Damn, the man sounded defeated.

"Come on," I led him to the elevator.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"You seem stressed, you need to relax," I answered.

"And what do wizards do to relax?" he tried to joke, but his heart wasn't in it.

"We do what everyone does~," the door opened to the shuttle bay filled with-

"Pots?" Shepard asked, coming face to face with hundreds of simple clay pots.

"Yep~," I passed him a small pot.

He just looked at it, "Uh? What do I do with this?" I rolled my eyes, grabbed another pot, and with the grace of an angel, I hurled it across the room with all my strength, shattering it into a million pieces against the hull. "Nick!? The hell man!?"

"Shepard, sometimes we don't need to talk to a therapist or whatever the hell Chambers is, sometimes... we just have to smash something," he just looked at me like I was crazy, "I would hurry, Grunt just saw me shatter that pot and he's running down here.

He just looked at the pot in his hands for a bit longer before losing it, roaring, and spiking that sucker into the ground shattering it into a million pieces. He just stood there breathing like he just ran a marathon; Grunt took that time to appear from the elevator like a kid in a candy store who was allowed to eat whatever he wanted.

"ARE WE BREAKING STUFF!?" Shepard answered him by grabbing another pot and smashing it. "RAAAAR!" not looking a gift horse in the mouth, Grunt grabbed the largest pot in the room and threw it at other pots. It didn't take long before the rest of the ground crew was down here smashing shit, even Joker and EDI were getting in the mayhem. I just sat back and had my mini-golems go around cleaning up the mess and bring me back the remains so I could craft more pots. Miranda, Jacob, and Mordin didn't join in, Mordin being too busy examining Collector corpses, Jacob was taking apart the collector guns, and Miranda thought it was a waste of time.

2 hours of pot breaking and laughing later we all ended up in the kitchen as Gardner and I cooked up a victory feast the crew in high spirits. We were able to punch the reapers between the legs but we knew it was only going to get harder after this. The Collectors now knew they weren't the biggest kids in the block.

We were heading toward Tuchanka for Grunt to take his rite, but had to change course after Shepard got the news that another one of his old teammates was in a spot of trouble so we were racing to Haestrom.

Oh~, the things I could do with a Geth~.

-/-

A/N: new chapter! Wanted to get this one out, I've been reading comments and have been putting things in a story web, hopefully, I can get things to fit correctly.

sorry for any grammar mistakes and for any Spells I make up, there really isn't enough Paladin spells I can find in DnD, I'll also try and make things more humorous as things go. Mass Effect tends to be just as dark as Dragon Age from time to time.

I do have a YouTube channel where I put audio to my stories for those who don't have the time to read or just want to hear in the background. So far, I just finished putting up New Start Plus but I'm also working on NSP: in Spaaace, and putting up art videos of my characters, go give them a listen, link in Bio, Like and Subscribe if ya want.

I have a DeviantArt page link in my bio

Review, or don't, do what you think is best

Chapter Text

Ch. 3

A day under the Sun

-/-

Nick POV

Haestrom was a hell hole, and that was putting it nicely~.

"Shepard be warned, Haestrom's star is unstable and unleashing heavy doses of solar radiation, standing in direct sunlight is unadvised," EDI warned over the comms.

"You heard the lady. Stay out of the light," Shepard ordered.

"Then we fight in the shade," Grunt huffed, "but no hiding." His rage was beginning to grow, it didn't help that we didn't get enough rest after Horizon due to the Shadow Sea system having a Mass Relay that shot us straight to the Far Rim system were Haestrom was located, we jumped from one hot skillet to another within the same day. So the team on this mission was smaller than I would have liked, consisting of me, Dogmeat, Garrus, Shepard, Grunt, Miranda, and Ayla.

"Sereda, Dogmeat, with me," I ordered taking the lead, she gave me a nod, and Dogmeat gave me a chuff. In quick strong movements, we earth-bent large slabs that provided shade.

"The earth is weird here. It feels, dry, like it just gave up on, everything," Sereda huffed, "We need to get going, the earth doesn't like us being here. It doesn't like anyone."

"Well that's ominous~, Shepard, we'll provide you with shade and cover," I called out getting a thumbs up as Shepard took command, reaching the gate we came to our first Quarian casualty, he was a male, shot in the chest with a group of Geth around him, he was still warm, I wasn't sure if it was because of the star or if he was just killed. "Ayla?" Not wasting a moment, she checked with her boss.

"... I need a diamond worth 300 gold," Not giving it a second thought I purchased a diamond from the gamer's store and passed it to Ayla.

"What are you doing?" Miranda asked as we positioned the Quarian man on his back, where Ayla put the diamond the size of my palm on the man's chest. Ayla didn't answer, only tapped the diamond with her book, "we don't have time-" she was cut off as Ayla lifted her book and brought it down with the rage of an angry barbarian.

"REVIVIFY!" she roared, smashing the Diamond to dust on the Quarian's chest, causing him to scream awake holding his chest, causing everyone to nearly jump out of their armor. Not missing a beat, I started healing the poor man.

Quarian  Captain

Fin'Shaam vas Janna

Lvl:  26

Age: 32

HP:  10 /  370

Ailments:

Weak immune system ( 520  MP) (-1 HP per second, doubling every 2 minutes if not in an enviro-suit)

Broken ribs (40MP)

Pierced lungs (75MP)

Existential crisis (30MP and a quick explanation)

Fin'Shaam was born on the Rayya, completing his pilgrimage in under five years by stealing a frigate from batarian slavers, saving the slaves, and becoming one of the youngest captains in the Quarian fleet.  He was ordered  by the admiralty board to investigate why Haestrom's star was turning into a red giant at such a young age.

He is very confused

"That's how you bring someone back from the dead," Ayla smirked, dusting off her shoulder and walking away. She did stumble a little after leaving Miranda's sight but played it off. Revivify is one of the most powerful holy spells in a Cleric's arsenal, sure the diamond sacrifice did a good deal of the work but it did need the Cleric's power to bridge the gap between the material plane and the celestial realm, and depending where the soul was, it could take a great deal of power. Her armor should be helping her regenerate her MP. That's good because I have the feeling we're going to do this a few times.

"W-Wh-What!?" Fin started coughing as I healed him.

"Breathe," I ordered, "You just shook hands with your ancestors, breathe."

"How? I was-"

"Shot to death, yes," I answered, "But as you can see, you got better. Your Ancestors probably thought you had more time in ya." As his HP maxed, I started curing his ailments, starting with plugging up all his new holes, followed by his ribs, and lungs.

"I-it's pointless," he muttered, "My mask, it's broken, won't last the hour. My crew. Geth. Tali'Zorah, get to Tali'Zorah."

New Quest: walking on sunshine~! Tali'Zorah and her Crew are being pinned down by Heretic Geth and could use a spot of help!

0/50 Geth destroyed

1/15 Quarians saved (optional)

Reward: 50,000 EXP, 15,000 credits, 1 gold loot box, Geth plasma shotgun.

Optional: Friendly with the Quarian race, 1 gacha token

"You heroes~, always so damn noble," I rolled my eyes, "I don't know your crew so you better introduce me." I took a moment for my suit and natural MP regen to top me off before fixing his Immune system. My healing hands and Medic skills didn't tell me what his immune system was being repaired to, but I guessed it was to the level of my own immune system, being the only one I have ever had. And let me tell you something about the human immune system, it was fricking terrifying. Over 30 trillion cells with a single goal, keeping you alive. I reached up and ripped the broken mask off his face, "Now get up, and stop acting so melodramatic." I lifted him up to his feet. Quarians must have come from a Feline ancestry, he had glowing cat-like eyes and sharp teeth, smaller than Sky's, but were definitely made for meat, he had a buzzed haircut, some kind of cybernetics on his face, and was so pale that I was worried he was somehow losing blood. All and all, dude was handsome, he won't be winning any awards but ladies would give him a second look.

"Wha?" I passed him my Gauss rifle and slapped one of my backup armors on his chest, because I'm nothing if not prepared, thank you Batman. "Wha!?" He looked at the armor as it morphed across his body.

"Focus!" I ordered, getting his military training to kick in. I pointed to the Gauss rifle, "Aim, hold, pull. You understand?" he gave me a nod, "Good, this is Commander Shepard, he's in charge." I pass Fin to Shepard, I left them to talk, as I turned to my dog. "Dogmeat, I need you to scout ahead and provide healing runes to the injured that look like him," I ordered, he barked and took the bag of runes and booked it down the road at great speeds. I'm not sure if you have ever seen a dog run, I mean really run, to haul ass down the road like the devil was after them, it's a crazy thing. add that Dogmeat has been with me from the beginning, enhanced, and has a collar that quadruples his strength, provides magical protection, and HP Regen. Dogmeat was a hairy, four-legged, slobbering, death missile, that let nothing get in his way.

"Nick? Your dog just ran off," Garrus pointed out.

"Forward scout, I have him providing healing and recon," I answered, launching my own satellite to give me a 3D map of the area.

"But he doesn't have a weapon?"

"Trust me, he doesn't need one," I smirked. Fin was given a bullet point exclamation on what was happening and had him up front with Shepard to help lead us through the maze that was ancient Quarian architecture.

"Geth!" Garrus warned as they fell from the sky.

I wanted to test some stuff but waiting for Legion to show up was going to take some time from now, so, why not use what I got. Dashing forward I separated a lone Geth from the rest of his little friends, took its gun, and pressed my hand to its chest, adding dozens of rune sentences before launching him at the rest of his friends. The Geth trooper, not knowing what I did, got up and marched back into the sunlight.

Only to start screaming... the battlefield went quiet as its warbled screams of pain made everyone freeze, even the other Geth. It started spazzing out, losing its mind... Processers?

"Nick? What did you do?" Shepard asked, confusion lacing his question.

"Did you know which sense most mortals have Shepard?" a grin crossed my face, "Pain." I answered for him, "Pain, Shepard, you can't live without it. Pain breeds fear, fear breeds caution, caution breeds curiosity, Curiosity breeds knowledge, and knowledge breeds understanding. You, Garrus, Fin, we all feel pain, we don't like pain, so we try and avoid it, try to stop its spread, so, you work together, join forces, friendship, all united through the hatred of pain. And if what you told me of Geth is true~," I dashed out of cover, right in front of another Geth unleashing a mean right hook right to its headlamp.

Haki + fisticuffs + Jeet kune do + Max strength + back stab= 1,974  points  of  bludgeoning  damage

The Geth's head turn to shrapnel, it didn't get to say anything as it slumped over and I raced to its buddies, doing the same, leaving only the screaming Geth that finally managed to crawl into the shade.

It was still twitching as I stood over it, "And then there was one. Hey Fin? How many Geth programs are in this one body?"

He gave a look at the 8 other bodies, "80, I think."

I reached down and added some more runes on the Geth's antenna, distance, strength, and speed. I wanted to make sure that the Geth got this information. Lifting it to the sunlight, it screamed at the heat of the star as I slowly squeezed, crushing its body, making sure it felt everything before the Geth inside ran to another platform.

"There we go~," I cheered, dusting off my hands and dropping the piece of useless metal.

You have defeated 8 Geth Troopers!

Reward: 1000 EXP, 1 pulse rifle, 1500 credits

You have defeated an Enhanced Geth trooper!

Reward: 500 EXP, 500 omni-gel,  500  credits

I was getting shocked looks, "What?"

"That was brutal," Grunt nodded, "I approve."

"Thanks~," I rolled my eyes, "Alright, that should mess them up a bit."

"In what way?" Garrus asked.

"Imagine you were blind your whole life, and suddenly you could see. That's got to be all kinds of jarring," I shrugged.

-/-

Dogmeat POV

I am speed, nothing will get in my way. My partner gave me a mission, help the bendy legs.

"no~, please." what was that!? Investigate! I am speed. I found one of the bendy legs on the ground at the mercy of the shiny ones. Not on my watch! My super jaws will handle this! Bite! Crush! Twist! Throw! Ah~, victory. "Wha?" I turned to the bendy-legged one, she was bleeding. Not good. Reaching into my pouch I pulled out one of my partner's feel-good rocks and gave it to the bendy-legged lady. "Uh... thanks."

"Bark! (You're welcome) Bark! (Partner coming, you stay)" I patted her leg, stopping her from moving.

"Uh... I stay?"

Oh good, I was worried she wasn't as intelligent as myself. Giving her one last nod, I rushed forward. For I was on a mission, a mission of speed.

And I am speed.

-/-

Shepard POV

I always wanted a dog, but I could never convince Ma, if I knew they could rip apart Geth and save the injured from fatal wounds, I might have had a better argument when I was a kid.

"Breathe," Nick ordered to the young woman, healing her wounds and remaking her Immune system. "Shepard, Grunt, you better be paying attention, you're going to do this one day." that was the 9th Quarian so far.

"Me!?" Grunt huffed, "But you're not doing any explosions!?"

"No, but you're under my tutelage, meaning you will learn to heal, if not for yourself than for others."

"Why would I care about that?" Grunt asked.

"Are children your enemies?" Nick asked, helping the young woman to her feet.

"What? No. They are small and not very strong. It would sully my Krogan pride. I will not have it." Grunt answered, shaking off the idea of such a thing.

"What about the weak?"

"I only fight the strongest," he growled.

"And what if they have the potential of being your most powerful enemy, but need healing?"

"... they would need to be healed. Mmm, very well. I will learn to heal, BUT only to make sure my enemies don't have an excuse," Grunt nodded like he thought up the idea.

"Good to hear," he smirked and passed the young woman another one of his armors.

"How many of those do you have?" Garrus asked.

"Like 30, are you telling me you don't have backup armors?" Nick had an incredulous look on his face.

Garrus rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I do, on the ship. Like a normal person."

Nick huffed, "At least tell me you have some food," Garrus was quiet. Really Garrus~, even I have pocket jerky. "You're hopeless~, here." Nick passed Garrus a tube of food paste.

"You carry around Dextro food paste?" he asked, taking the tube.

"Duh," he passed one to Fin. "I have just about everything," he summoned a turkey leg, still steaming as if just cooked, he gave it to Grunt who ate it whole, "And anything I don't have I create," he proceeded to create a golem from the earth around us, freaking out the Quarians, and ordered it to run ahead and attack the Geth.

"Wait... if you can just make the golems... why don't you just make a few hundred to destroy the Geth." Miranda huffed.

You know... that's a good question.

"Time, power, resources. Golems, while useful, have limitations. I could make them more complicated, stronger, and with greater autonomy, but that takes longer to make. I could make faster, smaller, golems with simple orders but I would have to be there to watch over them. That's why any golems I make are either under someone's command or have enough autonomy and instructions to work around problems."

"... Won't they just become sentient?" I asked.

Nick shrugged, "Maybe, it might take a few hundred years, but they might be able to gain a sense of semi-sentience, if they have enough power and if their original orders need them to overcome a difficult problem."

"And you're okay with that?" Fin asked.

"Sure, life is filled with crazy unknowns, we just got to roll with the punches. I did try and curve any murderous intent, by making the need to gain any new information and knowledge to be done through peaceful means, but there's only so much I can do, I'm not going to crush new life by hovering over it with a club."

"And if they go crazy," another Quarian hissed.

"Then I'll take responsibility, you silly fool, I created the golem, I gave it magic, I gave it form, I gave it orders, it may have gained its own sentience, but it was I who gave them the chance," Nick answered.

"And if they rise against you?" Miranda asked.

"Then you should thank 'present' me because if my golems raise up to fight 'future' me, something has gone very wrong. All my golems are given the simple order, no matter how big or small, no matter how strong or weak, every golem is ordered to help the innocent and the young. If they are fighting me then there is a good chance, that I have gone mad with power. Uncaring for the people around me, destroying without thought, gloating over dust." Just for a moment, I imagined Nick as this ruthless individual, and I was pretty sure most of the Citadel would have been destroyed, and I would have been very much dead... again.

"Hey~," Ayla patted Nick on the shoulder, while Sereda gave him a light elbow to his hip.

Nick took a deep breath, "I like to think that will never happen. That I would always be in control, but I'm only human, and time could change anyone, but all that is moot, you shouldn't worry about the infinite possibilities of the multiverse, we need to save Ms. Zorah from the space robots. Good lord, did you just hear what I said? Space robots~, what a wild universe this is~," he laughed walking towards the next section of the Quarian stone city.

Nick is a strange man.

-/-

Dogmeat POV

How in Dog God am I supposed to get passed this door?

"Hey, no! Get away from that!" One of the bendy legs came over and shooed me away from the steel door. I just saved a room filled with them from the metal men, some were hurt but my partner's rocks are keeping them alive.

Walking up to the Bendy legged leader, I pushed him until he fell over, "HEY!? Get off!" I sat on him. "A little help here!?"

"Bark! (No!) Bark! (Bad!) Bark! (I'm bigger and stronger!)" To prove my point, I patted the bendy one on his shiny face.

"OW! Wait! You're going to break my mask! Stop!" Sweet Dog Jesus, this man wasn't very strong, clearly his people didn't get help from the dogs of his planet. What a sad thing to see.

"Bark! (I'm in charge now!)" lifting the man with my mouth I walked him to the controls. "Bark! (Door)"

"Commander Reegar?" the bendy legged one talked into his hand box.

"Naem? Good to hear your voice, I got word from Captain Fin, he has friends and a large group of our crew heading your way, but I'm not sure where they are! A drop ship cut us off."

"Yeah~, I got that. There's a... Dog? Here."

"A what?"

"A human pet."

The nerve! Everyone knows it was us who had to look after the humans, those poor hairless creatures could barely give each other love. Love is free! To care is easy! They fight for the dumbest things! Shiny rocks!? So dumb! They have food and large open spaces! What more do you want!?

"Okay, and what-" A loud boom cut the man off followed by a terrible tremor, followed by a long silence.

"HEY! Open up!" Partner yelled, slamming at the door.

Oh yeah! Let's do this! Racing over to the door I started digging under it, but the floor was a bit too tough, why is everything made of rocks!?

"Dogmeat?" I gave a howl loud enough to vibrate the little rocks in the room, making sure Partner could hear, poor humans and their sad small weak ears. "That's my man, move back I'm opening the door!" the door sprang open to show my smirking partner, he ran over and gave me scratches, "You beat us here!" Of course! I have four legs, "You really are the best boy!" the best! "Here," he gave me some meat snacks, I knew keeping him around was a good idea.

-/-

Shepard POV

Leaving Nick and Dogmeat to reunite and heal the injured, I moved over to the other door that should lead us to Kal'Reegar, and Tali. Walking through the room I reached the hologram showing Tali talking in a loop.

Pressing the call button, Tali's head popped into view.

"Hello!? Who's there!?" Tali asked, I don't think her hologram is working.

"Who's asking?" I answered in code.

"Ya Mama!" good, it was Tali, "Shepard!? What are you doing here? My crew!? What's going on?"

"I was in the neighborhood, thought it would be nice to get the gang back together. I also have a good number of your crew with me," I answered.

"Revivify!" I hear Ayla cast behind me.

"Hey quick question, does the Quarian fleet pay in diamonds?" I asked.

"What?"

"Never mind, we're here to save you, like that time I did with the nutrient paste."

She let out a sigh of relief, "Good to hear you're still the real Shepard~, and you didn't save me, you broke one of my ribs."

"I was giving you the Heimlich!"

"Quarian's have larger ribs!"

"I didn't know that!"

"HEY!?" Garrus interrupted, "This is really cute, family coming together and all that, but we have Geth munching at our asses here!"

"Garrus!? Who invited the space cop?" Tali drawled.

"Hey! I'm not a space cop anymore, I'm a space vigilante!" Garrus corrected.

"Oh good, so now you don't have to take bribes in secret, just beat up the criminals and take their money~," she huffed.

"And don't you forget it!"

Yeah, it's all coming together.

"Shepard, we are clear," Nick came over, dusting off his hands.

"Who's that?" Tali asked.

"The most handsome man you've never seen~," Nick answered.

"... Shepard... why do I feel like I wanna punch that guy?"

"Please don't... he's all kinds of... crazy~," I begged, he's probably going to turn her into an apple.

"You do tend to attract them, I mean look at me, in the middle of Geth space looking at stars," she muttered. "Just save my crew and pick me up, if you have the time~," she ordered sarcastically.

"I can't open the door from here," I answered, tapping away at my omni-tool, "The Geth did a number on the door controls."

"Give me a second." she stepped away from the screen for a moment, "Ok, try it now." The door swung open.

"We're in!" I called out.

"Be careful Shepard, and keep my crew alive." she logged out.

"Alright, Fin, I need you and any marines in the room to keep this room clear, this is our exit, Dogmeat give them back up," the dog barked. "Sereda," I pointed to the exit door, the dwarf nodded and lifted a slab of earth to block the door from where we came from, making it difficult for any more Geth to come in. "Nick."

"Yeah?"

"How many diamonds do you have?" I whispered.

"... I would recommend for people to stop dying," he warned.

"Right~," I sighed, didn't think that was going to last forever. "Grunt, Sereda with me. Miranda, Ayla, center. Nick, Garrus, watch our six," I ordered. Securing the next room and finding another empty room with blast panels, we moved in, making sure the door behind us was closed shut.

"Locked," Grunt called out at the end of the hall.

"Button," Garrus pointed out.

This is why I became a spectre, only I get to press the buttons. "Alright, be ready, Geth were swarming this place." pressing the button the door opened... and so did the panels, allowing us to come face to face... with a Geth Colossus.

Which launched a siege pulse right at my face, "RUN!" The heat of the explosion sizzled my back as we dove through the hallway.

"Hehe Heh, this is why I follow you Shepard. Big things!" Grunt cheered.

"Happy to deliver~," I muttered. Finding Kal wasn't hard, he and a hand full of Quarian marines were taking potshots at the Geth troopers, where Kal would shoot his rocket launcher at the Colossus every time it showed its head. "You Reegar!?"

He looked over to me, "Squad Leader Kal'Reegar, Migrant Fleet Marines! We talked on the radio before the drop ship arrived!"

"Hold still!" Nick called out healing Reegar's abdomen.

"Dinner first would be nice!" Reegar coughed.

"I have nutrient paste!" Nick joked.

"So do I! What kind of idiot doesn't have rations?"

"You forget one time~," Garrus groaned, popping over cover and putting a bullet dead center into a Geth trooper's head. Suddenly a thick wall providing more cover and shade appeared courtesy of Sereda. "Can I get an opening?" a perfect square was launched out of the wall crushing a Geth on the other side. "Thank you~," he smirked, shooting another Geth that walked into his kill box.

"This is going to feel weird," Nick warned, as Kal lit up like a star.

"Whoa? What was that?" Kal muttered.

"I'll tell you later, shit!" he muttered, running past me, to another Quarian who was trying to apply omni-gel to her shattered mask. "Hold still!" I left that to him. Looking at the remaining Quarians I didn't spot Tali, looking out to the courtyard I found a bunch of construction equipment the Geth were using as cover, to my left were large stone walls that looked precut, but never removed, to my right was a ramp that circled around the courtyard that would make a decent sniper's roost if the sun wasn't hitting you in the face.

"Kal, where's Tali!?" I asked, Kal looked lost, moving his head around like he was reading something, "REEGAR!" he snapped to attention, "Where is Tali'Zorah!?"

"Across the courtyard! My team and I were able to get her into the observatory before we had to fall back." A bullet whizzed by chipping the wall.

"Is she safe!?"

"The observatory is heavily reinforced; it's going to take some time to hack it and having someone firing rockets at you tends to make you a bit distracted," he patted his rocket launcher.

"Give me the bullet points, what are we looking at!?" Another tremor was felt as Sereda launched a block of stone the size of a twin-sized bed across the field and into the colossus's head causing it to duck down behind its cover, giving us a moment without constant bombardment.

"Damn colossus has a self-repair program; it will come up when you least expect it. There is plenty of space to your left with enough cover where the Colossus can't get you but it's covered with Geth, for some reason they're sticking to the shade! To your right, you have the high ground but the damn colossus has its cannon pointed at you the whole time! But the Geth have been avoiding it due to the light."

"These things are getting annoying!" Nick called out, trying to heal a Quarian under fire, snapping his fingers he summoned two steel golems in the shape of medieval knights, a glowing sword in one hand and a solid steel shield in the other, Nick just jutted his head at the Geth. Not wasting a second, they launched themselves passed cover and chopped the head off any Geth that got cocky enough to rush them and stupid enough to stay in one place.

"Awesome! Shepard, I wanna sword!" Grunt demanded. Ugh~, where am I going to find a sword? I would ask Nick but with how much he spent on this one mission, I'm not sure I could afford it.

"Are any of you real?" Kal asked. "Are you just figments of my imagination as I die from a terrible infection?"

"I'm not going to lie to you Reegar, it's been a weird three days, but I need you to focus and guard this passage," I ordered.

"What!? No! I can-"

"Guard this spot!" I ordered, "There are other Quarians in the lab behind us, if the Geth get passed you they can die."

"... I understand, give them hell, Keelah se'lai!" he saluted.

I turned to Nick, "How many of those do you have?"

"30."

"And when were you going to tell me?"

"Well~, I was planning to take you out to dinner before I let you plow me for information about all my powers~," he rolled his eyes, "Seriously~? What were you expecting!? I met you like 3 days ago."

That's fair, I guess, "Can you have them take the left path?" He nodded and summoned 8 more Knights, and without giving them any orders the Golems jumped into action, joining their brothers and marching as a unit to the left passage. "That will distract the Geth, come on!" I led them to the right, up the ramp. With the colossus fixing itself and the Geth distracted, getting behind the colossus's cover wasn't that difficult.

Unfortunately, as we passed the corner my stomach sank to my feet, Nick must have felt the same thing because he rose a stone wall just in time to stop a pulse cannon from blasting us into next week.

"Alright Shepard I'm tired of this," Nick sighed, "At any other time, I would be all down for us to work together as a team to destroy the colossus and bring us closer as friends, but I like to think we did that on Horizon, so if you don't mind~." Nick then transformed into a giant mech, "Say hello to my Prime suit!" he roared running around the corner. Looking over the corner we saw the mech dance around the Colossus's blasters, getting under its legs and shoving a glowing red sword up and through the Colossus's body. The Colossus gave a light warble before its light dimmed. "Double Tap!" Nick roared, bringing his sword down one more time slicing its head off.

"Awesome! Shepard! I wanna giant robot!" Grunt cheered.

"That makes two of us~," I muttered. Nick continued his rampage destroying any Geth troopers left behind with his knights coming over the corner pushing the Geth they were fighting to run right into the meat grinder that was Nick Walters. "I'm guessing Nick always had a giant robot?" I asked Sereda and Ayla.

"Yep~, Nick usually doesn't use it often, it tends to make people nervous. 'Why does he have it? Is he going to use it to hurt others? It's not fair that he has one and we don't~'," Ayla groaned. "If you want one just build one yourself!" oof, clearly this wasn't the first time someone asked for one.

"So... are we going to just sit here and wait for Nick to finish making us look like background characters?" Garrus asked.

"I mean... if you wanna get in there, I ain't going to stop you," I shrugged. This is our second mission in as many days, I haven't gotten any sleep, I fought enough Geth, collectors, and husks, to make a small hill, and I can live with a 10-minute break.

"RAAAAR!" Grunt roared racing into the meat grinder.

"Well, at least someone's having a good time~," Sereda muttered.

-/-

Tali'Zorah Vas Neema Nar Rayya POV

You know~, 3 years ago all the explosions and gunfire would have made me pretty nervous. Most Quarians don't stick around on battlefields, due to the fact that a single suit puncture usually meant a horrible death, if you were lucky. I on the other hand feel completely fine, and my heart rate is normal, my hands steady as a gyro stabilizer, blood pressure... better than normal. This can't be healthy, I should blame Shepard, and probably try and get Alliance compensation for emotional distress. Wrex would probably say it's good for the mind.

There was a terrible tremor that nearly knocked me on my ass, what is that Bosh'tet doing!? This better not be another nuke situation.

… everything was quiet... too quiet~.

Knocking came from the door, "Tali you in there?" Shepard's voice came from the intercom.

"Who's asking?" I called back.

"Ya mama! Now open the door you punk!" I got behind cover and unlocked the door, you can never be too careful.

The first person I saw was Shepard in his N7 armor, "What took you so long?" I huffed. "My crew better be okay."

"I took the scenic route, first time on a Quarian planet, thought I'd make the best of it~."

"It's too hot!" Garrus complained, walking into the room, he would, what a philistine.

"I don't know, I like the architecture," a small blonde female human nodded to the walls.

"That's because this place is just like Orzammar," Another blonde-haired human with pointy ears stated.

"This place is awesome, lots of sun and things to kill, it's practically Tuchanka!" a Krogan cheered holding up a Geth's head, "Hey Nick can you make this into a lamp?"

Suddenly a huge mech came into view, it had to be at least 25 feet in height before it popped out of existence leaving a human behind, he was around 6 feet, with black fur on his face and head, but his eyes, they had a strange glow to them. Almost... Quarian.

"Shouldn't be too hard~, as a growing Krogan it's important for you to have battle trophies~, show off to them krogan ladies~," he joked.

"What about that big one!?" The asked Krogan bouncing in excitement.

"You gotta ask Shepard, it's big and you need his permission."

"SHEPARD!?" that Krogan was way too excited.

"If you can get it purged and to the ship, then fine," Shepard sighed.

"Alright!" He cheered and ran back outside.

"Still babying your crew, I see~," I teased.

"It's either that or become a hardass, and I don't have the military rank to do that long term," he shrugged. "Good to see you haven't lost your touch." he pointed to the dozen Geth in the room.

"It was a little cramped," I teased.

"Hey, Shepard!? Can I have this!" the human named Nick yelled holding a Geth plasma rifle, "also this?" He held up a Geth plasma shotgun.

"Yeah, I guess~," Shepard shrugged.

"Cool... what about all the other stuff I picked up?"

"How much did you pick up?" Shepard asked.

"... that wasn't an answer."

Shepard put his hands on his hips, "Did any of that belong to the Quarians?"

"... that still isn't an answer."

Who the hell is this jackass? "You can't take things from us!" I answered.

His gaze snapped to me. Whoa~, it was like that time I dropped Wrex's shotgun. He slowly tilted his head, before appearing half a foot from me, looming over me like a Varren does a Pyjak. "Tali'Zorah Vas Neema Nar Rayya~. You have a lot of moxie for a damsel in distress~."

I looked straight into his eyes, "Who's in distress?" I asked, shoving my shotgun against his chest.

He didn't even flinch, instead a large grin spread across his face, "Julee's going to love you~," he burst out laughing, before lifting his hands in surrender, "I'll return the things I found."

"You better," I warned tapping him in the chest.

"Names Nick Walters~, man of many talents, Cerberus hater, the most handsome man you have met~." Nick offered his hand in a shake.

"Tali'Zorah. The best engineer you'll ever meet," I shook his hand. Why did everything taste... blue? Why am I glowing? Just as everything happened, it ended. My screen was going crazy though, it was nothing dangerous, just... weird.

"Julee's definitely going to eat you alive~," Nick chuckled, letting go of my hand, "I'm going to go check on Grunt and make sure he doesn't get too handsy with some of the Quarians." He waved goodbye followed by the two blonde women. He walked with way too much confidence.

"Tali, sorry for dropping in without calling, but I'm still hoping you will join my crew to fight the Collectors," he asked.

"I wish I left with you on Freedom's Progress, but I couldn't let anyone else take my place on something this risky."

"What was so important that put so many lives at risk?" he asked.

"In all honesty, I don't really know. The Admiralty Board believed the information here was worth all the danger, I have to believe that they knew what's best," even if it's a little questionable.

He frowned down at me, "I didn't ask what some admiral thought. I asked what you thought."

"I don't know, but it has to be. What other reason would we be sent out here?" I took a deep breath, "...How many?"

"... we found 3, we couldn't save them. We believe they when quickly. I'm sorry."

"We knew the risks but," Damnit Damnit Damnit! I took another deep breath, "And the rest of the crew?"

"A little banged up but still kicking, Ma'am" a familiar gruff voice came from the Doorway.

"Reegar!?" I raced over, but he waved me away before I even got to him.

"I'm fine ma'am, better than fine even," he pounded his chest, typical marine bravado.

"Commander? The Krogan's using Cali as a metal detect-" I didn't hear what Sheha was reporting as I saw her without her mask, before I know what was happening, I was slapping my mask on Sheha's face plate. "Tali!?" I took a deep breath, so... this is what real earth smells like, I wish flowers were the last things I smelled.

.

.

.

"Uh, are you okay?" Shepard asked. Any second now I'm going to break into hives and die.

.

.

.

"Tali," Garrus called out, "I hope you understand, but I'm recording this." really Garrus! You're going to record my final moments as a puss-filled sack. Gross.

.

.

.

"We got the all clear on the colossus head. What's with her?" Nick came back into the room. Keelah, it sure is taking longer to die than I thought. "You know, Quarians are really pale~, you guys should get more sunlight, not this sunlight of course, you'd be roasted alive." Nick got close enough for me to smell his breath. "Why do female Quarian's have hair but males don't and are these cybernetics?" he asked, looking at my bio-enhancers.

"What's that smell?" I asked.

"Mmm? Oh, mint, brush twice a day," he informed, "Why have cybernetics so close to your eyes? Seems dangerous."

"They help distribute nutrients better," I muttered. What the hell's going on here?

"Is that safe?"

"It's necessary," I turned to everyone else, "What is happening here? Why am I not dead? Or on the floor going into cardiac arrest?"

"Mmm? Oh, you haven't told her?" Nick asked, backing away.

"We thought this would be funnier~," Garrus answered, still recording me. I'm going to break his arm.

"Understandable," Nick nodded, "To answer your question, I used my magic powers to fix your immune system."

"... Shepard... this man is crazy." I muttered to the group.

"I know," Shepard answered, "But being crazy doesn't make him wrong. We'll discuss it later."

"Shepard... this man thinks magic is real-"

"Tali wait!" Shepard warned.

"-Magic doesn't exist!" I finished.

"YOU DARE QUESTION MY MAGIC!?" Nick roared. Making a pose that made my inner child cheer but my adult self cringe so hard that I felt like was going to turn into a black hole just to not be seen near him.

We all just stood there for a moment.

"So... are you going to do anything?" the Cerberus woman asked.

Nick looked at her like she was crazy, "What!? Miranda... we are in the middle of a mission, in the middle of hostile territory, it would be super inappropriate right now. I'll shatter her sense of reality when we're not in the middle of a warzone."

"Sounds like an excuse," Miranda countered.

Nick narrowed his eyes at her, "... you punk~." he then STUCK HIS HAND INTO A BLACKHOLE!? Keelah! "catch~," he tossed me a bag made of leather. Looking at the fancy bag I notice glowing scribbles and symbols, glancing back at him I notice he wasn't even looking at me, instead, he was staring down Miranda.

"Um?" I didn't really know what to do here.

"Check the bag," Nick ordered. The bag wasn't very big, maybe the size of my third pocket, looking inside, it was pitch black, bottomless. I started with a finger, then my knuckle, hand, wrist, ARM!?

"What is this thing!?" I screamed removing my hand from the bag, and started moving her fingers making sure I wasn't going crazy.

"It's a Runic Bag of Holding, Master crafted, with expert-level runes. It can store over3 tons of weight and can fit anything less than 100 cubic feet as long as it isn't alive," He answered, I just looked back at the bag, then at Shepard, who just shrugged, then to Garrus, who was still recording, that bosh'tet, who also shrugged, Over to Reegar, and like every man in the room also shrugged.

"Uh~, ok," I muttered, I tried to give it back.

"No-no, that's yours now, because screw you Miranda, you know what? Kal you should thank Miranda too, Sheha you should as well, because thanks to her you can keep the weapons and armor, allow me to also send you a detailed email on how dangerous runes are and how to create basic runes. All together now! Thank you, Miranda~!" he gave a mock bow, before walking out of the room.

.

.

.

"So~," I drawled, "that doesn't explain why I'm not dying."

-/-

This room was wrong. I gave the meeting room I was in a closer look, "Is this room... bigger on the inside?"

Getting off Haestrom was rather easy, Haestrom's star made communication off the planet practically impossible, and with Joker shoving two Javelin disruptor torpedoes into the Geth drop ship, it was going to take some time before any more Geth showed up, but we weren't going to test that. With my mission complete, I gave Kal the data and sent a request for transfer of command, well I say request, but I wasn't asking, I just left with Shepard after giving my crew a proper goodbye.

"Magic~," Shepard answered with a yawn. I'm beginning to believe that's going to be an answer for some time.

"You wanna take a nap? You look exhausted," I pointed out.

"After I give you the tour, the Normandy's... well I'll show you," he muttered.

"Before you go," the dark-skinned human stopped us, "Shepard told me that you were going to be the Chief engineer, so you will be given the engine's schematics. My Name is Jacob Taylor and I'm the ship's Armory Chief if you need any weapons, I'll be found across the Tech Lab on the port side of the second deck," He gave a nod and walked out of the meeting room. Leaving me and Shepard alone in the meeting room.

"Shepard... please tell me you don't trust Cerberus."

He didn't say anything, just looked around the room and tapped his lips in a shushing motion. I'm taking that as a no. "Let me show you the ship."

He gave me a quick tour of the armory, and the tech labs, Mordin was... very excitable, the galaxy map, with the decks tour ending at the cock pit where I got to meet up with Joker, that... Bosh'tet.

"Tali!" he cheered, as his little chair swung around, "... Who the hell are you?" ugh~, I forgot to pick up an extra mask.

"... Mmm~. So Quarian's are space cat people? A lot of nerds are going to be very happy~," he joked, or at least I hope he was joking.

"Joker~, good to see you! Hate that you're working with Cerberus, but still happy you're okay. If we're planning on punching the Collectors in the face, I wouldn't have anyone else at the helm."

"Are you saying that because you think I'm the greatest pilot in the galaxy or because if we crash, I die first?"

"... so good to see you!" We both broke out into laughter.

Shepard just shook his head, "and this is his co-pilot EDI... she is also his wife~," he stage whispered.

"She's not my wife!" Joker protested; the woman had dark-skin, bushy dark brown hair, her eyes must have been implants due to their light blue glow, and wasn't wearing any Cerberus clothes.

"Hello Tali'Zorah, my name is EDI, which stands for Enhanced Defense Intelligence, I oversee the Cyber-Defenses on the Normandy as well as being Lt. Moreau's co-pilot." Her voice was... strange, almost... I snap my eyes over to Shepard who was looking up at the ceiling, looking over to Joker he was looking at his toes.

"EDI?"

"Yes, Ms. Zorah?"

"Are you... an A.I.?"

"Yes, I was created for this mission."

.

.

.

"Shepard?"

"... Yes Tali?"

"When were you going to tell me about this?"

"... EDI, is the Janna within communication range?"

"No commander."

"Now, I was going to tell you right now," He tried his classic Shepard charm... I, tried to pinch his cheeks off his face. "Wowowowowwooow! Hold on! Hold on! Your fingers are way stronger than human fingers! My face! My face! I just got it fixed!" he cried. Letting him fall to the floor I turned to Joker.

"I'm a poor crippled man! You can't hurt me! I'm pretty sure there are laws about that!" he cried.

"Jeff, your Vrolik syndrome has been cured. I don't think those laws apply to you anymore." the... machine... robot woman answered.

"... I guess, this would be the best moment to betray me~," Joker muttered, "but I'm not going down without a fight!" He then performed the sloppiest tactical roll I have ever seen and started running like a three-legged Varren.

"Where are you going!? You're on a ship! You can't run! I'll find you!" I roared. Only a fool tries to outrun a Quarian, we evolved from land base creatures that hunted on the ground and used trees to keep our kills from other land-based creatures. Joker learned this as I caught him and sat on his back.

"Gods! Why are you so heavy~, Maker if you get her off, I'll pray to you~!"

"Ms. Zorah~," the machine's voice came overhead as she stood over me, "I would appreciate it if you got off my pilot." Her voice was monotoned but the threat was there. The man you're sitting on belongs to me, get off. Or else. I didn't say anything, just got to my feet and tried to stare her down, and I would have won if Shepard didn't pull me away.

"Nothing to see here people! Just simple space madness~, get back to work!" he ordered as we entered the elevator.

"Shepard, why is there an A.I. on the ship!?" I hissed.

"Okay-okay let's all just calm down a second~. Yes, EDI is the Normandy's A.I., Yes, she has a body. No, she's not shackled." I think I'm having a heart attack. "No, you are not hearing things. Tali-," he let out a long sigh, he practically aged 30 years, "A lot of things have happened since I've seen you last~. A lot of it in the last three days" The elevator opened to the crew quarters. "Let's get a drink~. The Normandy has a nice bar."

Walking through the ship's hallway I caught a glimpse of the kitchen; the ship was definitely bigger on the inside. Walking into the most beautiful and most expensive bar I have ever seen; I was fully expecting to see a bouncer ready to toss me out.

"Robo-Boy! get me a Nug Rider, neat!"

"Of course, Master Shepard," a robot in a suit called out placing a glass cup on the bar table and filling it with alcohol, without missing a beat.

"You want something?" he asked, pointing to the seat next to him.

Taking the seat, that was made for me!? Wow! Who made this chair? it's amazing! "Uh~, what can I get?"

"Two Dextro heat sinks," Garrus answered for me coming up behind me and sandwiching me between both of them. "And some Dextro cookies."

"Right away Master Vakarian," the robot answered, putting some cookies on the table, before working on the drinks.

"Heard you came down with space madness~," Garrus joked.

"This isn't funny Garrus! There's a rogue A.I. on the ship!" I hissed.

"Yep~," he sighed, "and there are people from another dimension, a Krogan learning magic, a crazy convict in engineering, collectors kidnapping thousands of humans, the council doing jack all about it~, and now I'm looking at a snippy Quarian in a bar, drinking alcohol without her mask. Is an A.I. who's in love with a human pilot, that has been magically cured from his uncurable disease, any crazier than it already is?" he asked munching on some cookies.

.

.

.

"What the hell have I missed?" I turned to Shepard, "It's only been a month~."

-/-

Julee POV

"So, what are we doing today~?" I asked my bath buddies.

"Nothing~," Ayla sighed, sinking into the bath. Hehehe~, her fun bags left two little peaks over the water. Nice~.

"Yes~, yesterday was rather intense," Sereda groaned. Oh~, she was cleaning herself at a rather nice angle~, and she played hard to get~.

"I heard Sky City got a new restaurant~," Neria teased the idea, floating past. She is perky in the morning~, and those abs~.

"I wanna fly!" Sky pouted. "Space is nice but I can't fly~, I want to feel the wind through my wings~." Ahhh~, my horn goddess~.

"We do have to check in on Morrigan," Jakky sighed next to me. mmm~, she does have a point~, we did kinda leave in a rush leaving her in charge, well we left Aeden in charge, but he's such a pushover Morrigan's going to take command.

"When are we reaching Tuchanka?" Natty asked. Her butt was very warm on my left lap~.

"Uhmm~, sometime tomorrow~," Dagna answered. Her butt was on my right lap~. Dwarf buns are so firm and large~.

"Why don't we take Kasumi with us~?" Nat asked.

"Gasp! Natty~, you're finally joining my Super Harem Plan~!" I giggled bringing her close and touching, everything~. "Just imagine it, beautiful lonely women that need our... tender love and care~," she was shivering so nicely~.

She reached up and pinched my cheek, "Don't even think about it, Kasumi needs a friend. I don't know what happened to her but she's definitely suffering over something. I think a break from all... this, might help her."

"That's the first step~," I teased kissing down her neck, "Love built on friendship, is stronger and last forever~."

"Indeed," Ava huffed, agreeing with me. She was sitting back like a mob boss, showing me everything~, "but Nat is correct, Kasumi is grieving and I am not as ruthless as Elissa to use that grief, she needs a friend. If something comes from that, then I say yes, but if not, then a friend will be enough."

"Even after she tried to steal your arm?" Lyna asked. Sitting on Sky's lap. She and her sister may be identical, but I knew every mole, scar, and pleasure nerve that made them unique.

Ava just smirked, "She learned her lesson~." Ava's arm was made with one hell of a security system, anyone stupid enough to try and steal it was in for a world of hurt. Poor Kasumi, her hair was frizzy for hours.

"Well, you ladies have fun~, I'm working on the Normandy's engines and comparing them to Nick's hyperspace engine, we might even be able to combine the two designs, and fly to another galaxy~!" Lyna cheered. Ahhh~, I love her enthusiasm~.

Racial skill  unleashed : Lust

Dagna, Natia, Sereda, Sky, Neria, Lyna, Ava, and Ayla, have been affected!

Jak Hope has rebuffed your skill!

Jakky's hand lightly pinched my cheek, "Not in the bath~." she warned.

"Oops~," I scratched the back of my head, I can't help it, they're just so sexy when they get like that~. My poor Natty and Dagna were squirming on my lap, sweet evil, they did things to me. Jak pinched harder, "OWowowowowwowwo!"

"Not, in, the, bath," she hissed.

"Sowwwy~," I whined.

"Come on, Nick is working with Gardner, so breakfast should be ready by now. We're also meeting our new crew member." Jakky ordered, getting out of the bath.

"Sereda, Ayla you met this, Tali~. What's she like?" I asked, following Jakky's lead.

"Mmm, selfless, caring, a bit snarky, and there's a definite pride in her skills," Ayla answered.

"Maybe a bit too selfless~, she risked her life for one of her crew members she thought was dying, if Nick didn't already heal her immune system she would have died," Sereda added.

"Mmm~, how do you make a selfless person selfish?" I muttered.

"Is it bad for someone to be selfless?" Dagna asked, walking into the main room with me. "Nick is pretty selfless."

"There is a difference between being selfless and a martyr," I pointed out, "Nick may do selfless acts, like making Hogwarts so everyone could gain a form of higher education for cheap, but his goal was so he didn't have to do anything~, with everyone having the intelligence to take care of themselves, they now don't need Nick to take care of them, giving Nick all the time in the world. In the same way, he is making sure the crew of the Normandy are comfortable. Nick doesn't want to hold back on his magic, but the Crew would fear him, making it hard for him to enjoy his time here, so in order for him to enjoy his powers the crew has to be comfortable with magic in general-"

"The bar, the kitchen, the bathroom and showers, the crew bedrooms ~," Dagna surmised.

"Nick believes that if people are comfortable, they'll bother him less-" I continued,

"And allowing him to do whatever he likes." she finishes, "Does he do that with us?"

"I don't know~, are you still part of his party~? Are you still gaining EXP from the darkspawn? Money? How do you like your new work lab~? How about all the new spells you're learning~?" I teased.

"He knows that we don't like him for the things he gives us, right?" Dagna asked, worry lacing her words.

"He does, but he was raised to believe that as a man he has to provide. It's silly but it brings him joy," I shrugged, "he never takes it too far and allows us to help him when he's stuck, I'm not going to complain~."

"He does know how to make a good lab~," she drawled.

"Oh yeah~, hard tables that don't mess up your back~," I joked, bouncing my eyebrows at her, getting a pervy giggle. "Come on let's go seduce, I mean, meet this noble Quarian~."

-/-

Nick POV

"One, two, three, four, and step! Come on Grunt! Pick up those feet!" I ordered, doing some razzmatazz with the rest of the crew to keep us limber, going up and down on a stepping stool. "Come on Jenny! Lift those knees!"

"This is dumb!" she complained but also did lift her knees. "This is embarrassing!"

"You don't wear shirts~," I drawled, "and Squat! Hold and work those Quads!"

"And cover up my kick-ass tattoos!? I went through too much pain to hide them away!" Jenny grunted.

"Turn!" I ordered, "So you're just going to give everyone a show? What will Shepard think?" I teased

"Maker!? Why is this so hard? Do I even have quads?" Joker complained.

"NO!" Grunt joked, laughing at his own dig.

"Twirl!" I ordered, swinging my arms back and forward while stepping on the stool, alternating steps.

"What do I care what Shepard cares about!?" she huffed, twirling with me.

"Oh? So, you don't look at his ass every time he passes by~," I teased. "And Hula Hands!"

"Nick, why are we doing this?" Shepard huffed, doing a decent impression of a hula girl.

"Working out as a team breeds trust and camaraderie," I answered. "Now wag them tails!" I ordered bending slightly and wagging my buns.

"This is all kinds of embarrassing~," Jacob huffed.

"Keep wagging back there!" I called out to Miranda.

"Enough!" she huffed and stood up straight, "What is this even for!?"

"Other than allowing you to goggle Shepard's glutes~?" I teased.

"Shut up!"

"Grunt, give me a firebolt, high and tight," I ordered, ignoring Miranda.

With a huff and groan he launched a firebolt the size of my head, "WHOA!?" he looked at his fist, then to me, then to his fist, then back to me, "I've never gotten it that big!?" He started hopping around, he's been having trouble with his rage clouding his concentration, so I had to work out his aggression. He unleashed another firebolt. "I'm the best!"

"Keep a handle on your Mana Grunt, unless you want another Mana Crash~," Dagna teased. That got him to freeze, his last Mana crash wasn't something he was going to forget anytime soon.

"Does this mean you're going to teach us all magic~," Miranda huffed.

"You know what Mary~, every time you ask me that I'm going to make someone you don't like into a super soldier, making them better than you in every way," I warned. "Starting with Jenny! Jenny, you want superpowers?"

"I mean, I wouldn't say no~, do I have to pay you or something?" She looked extra suspicious at me.

"Nope~, I'm doing this just to annoy Mary~," I stated.

"Then I'm in!" She cheered.

"Kasumi? You want superpowers?" I tempted.

"Mmm~, a super wizard ninja~, I like the sound of that~," she joked.

Joker~, I know ya wanna impress your wife-"

"Not my wife!" he blushed.

"Garrus!? Do you or do you not want to walk around with a giant fuck off gun as a backup weapon~?" I continued, ignoring Jeff.

"Wrex would second guess on picking on me when we get to Tuchanka~."

"Tali~, super quarian~?" I asked, bouncing my eyebrows.

"Mmm~, on one hand, I gain otherworldly power, on the other, it pisses off Cerberus~, this sounds like a win-win~," she nodded.

"Mordin? Secrets of the universe~?"

"That does sound, inviting," the salarian muttered.

"Zaeed, I heard you wanted to rip the face off a living man, you know what would help with that~?"

"Super-strength?" he questioned.

"SUPER-STRENGTH!" I cheered. "Shepard! Those Reapers are going to need to be throttled, why not use your bare hands~?"

"Mmm~, why don't I use my bare hands~?" he asked himself.

I turned to Miranda, "And I'm going to do the same for the rest of the crew, one by one, from Donny and Gabby to Chakwas and Gardner, to Shepard's hamster and FISH! I WILL MAKE EVERYONE AROUND YOU SUPER, MARY! Everyone but you, you will be mediocre at best, 'in the way' at worst." I leaned in close, "So, are you going to ask me about magic again?"

"..." she just glared at me.

"Okay~," Jak pushed us apart, "By the primordial evils, you argued less with Morrigan," She shooed me away.

"Morrigan was a punk kid, like Jenny-"

"Who are you calling a kid!?"

"-Who grew up in the wild with an evil Witch who wanted to steal her body! Mary is a grown woman of 35! She had to have met at least one other sentient person!" I huffed; Miranda was really getting on my last nerve. "Buy a book on how to have a normal conversation!" I screamed as Jak pushed me away.

Training ended not long after, most of the crew went off to do their own thing, leaving me, Grunt, Dagna, Tali, Lyna, Julee, Nat, Neria, and Kasumi, behind.

"Yo Nick~," Kasumi called out.

"What up girl? Not hitting the bar?" I asked.

"Not this one," Nat answered for her. "I and the ladies are going to hit up Sky City for a lunch date."

"And you're taking Kasumi with you?" she nodded. I shrugged and summoned a magical redwood golem. "Here you go~." I passed Kasumi the golem, connecting their magic cores, I don't know how someone without magic would be affected in Ferelden and I didn't want to find out.

The one-foot golem morphed into a ninja, "So cool~, hey can I do magic now?" she asked.

I gave her a shrug, "Technically ~, the golem acts as your mana core until you grow your own to an adequate level, it then turns into a focus, eventually you won't need it but you could use it as a trump card. Trust me, no one sees a fireball coming from something so small."

"So, I guess I need to come down here for lessons?" she asked, changing her golem into a magic wand.

I gave another shrug, "If you want, Neria and I are more Jack of all trades, we know a little bit of everything so me or Neria could probably teach you the basics before you specialize, Julee and Lyna are rune experts, Astral, Jak, and Sky's nothing but power, Ayla, Sereda, and Ava are holy warriors, so I don't know how much help that will be, but you can ask. You might have to join their religion."

"And I'm his apprentice~," Dagna added giving her a thumbs up.

"I'm going to learn from the big-horned one!" Grunt huffed in pride, after Sky put him in his place, he started looking up to her as a big sister.

"But all that can wait, go have fun, and make sure Morrigan isn't making purple the city's color!" I shooed them away, Kasumi really needed friends. "And for you three?" I turned to Tali, Julee, and Lyna.

"Hyperspace design, Please~," Julee bit her lip, giving me an innocent look that oozed naughtiness. I rolled my eyes; she's been eyeing Tali like a sack of meat. She was going to try and use the plans to get into Tali's... pants? Suit? She wants to get Tali naked.

I summoned the Hyperspace blueprints I got years ago, thanks to a Gacha token, and handed over the book-size blueprints. Tali was looking over the plans like a mad woman.

"I can't read any of this," Tali whined.

"Yeah, not surprising, it's written in another dimension's Galactic Basic." I summoned another book and passed it to her.

"Learning Galactic Basic for dummies~," Tali muttered.

"Have fun learning~. If you guys feel uncomfortable learning with Miranda looking over your shoulders~," I jutted my thumb at the fourth floor where Miranda was looking down at us like a hawk, "you can use my lab. Op! You're going to need this~," I summoned a Redwood golem, connecting their Mana cores, "Have fun."

"Thanks, Nicky~," Julee cheered dragging the ladies away to the elevator.

"Expect a Quiz!" I called out.

"Ugh, do you ever turn off teacher mode~?" Lyna huffed.

"Not for my naughty students~," I teased.

Her cheeks lit up a bit, "You're such a dork!" She blew me a raspberry as the door closed.

"Love you too~. Alright, Grunt, we're doing some weightlifting today~." He gave me a roar in approval.

-/-

Kasumi POV

Nick's room was ridiculous~, it looked exactly like I thought a magical room would look like, smooth stone walls, glowing lanterns that lit the room, wood floor with a carpet that would probably start a bidding war ending in the millions, a couch that looks to be stolen from royalty with all the beautiful low relief sculptures of dogs, and a TV on the far end. There were more doors, probably to the bedroom and bathroom, and a huge vault door, like one from the old Heist movies~, no omni-tool hacking, no slapping omni-gel on it, three number locks, and a huge wheel you would have to turn, the vault itself would be worth a fortune alone.

"Sky! Astral! Dogmeat! Pancake! We're leaving~," Neria called out, the dogs hopped off the couch and ran over to us.

As if magic the vault began to open, showing me the treasure within.

Gold, silver, jewels, armor, weapons, jewelry~. My mouth was very dry. Sky came out completely naked. Oh~, I like muscles~, was the first coherent thought that flashed through my brain. Jacob has some serious competition.

"Wait for me~," Sky cheered, running into another room, I didn't get to see very much but it looked like a bedroom.

"Sorry about that~," Nat sighed, "Sky's a dragon, and tends to take money baths in precious metals and jewelry."

"It's fine." I waved away the apology, "Different people, different cultures."

"Well allow me to show you the 'in-between'" she walked over to what I thought was a funky mirror, only for Nat to press a button and watch it break into itself leaving a portal to the unknown. I wonder if this was what Grissom felt like when he was the first human to go through the Mass Relay on Pluto. Dogmeat and Pancake, Nat's dog, were the first to run through the portal, it looked like they jumped into an inky pool covered in stars. Neria patted me on the back before walking through the portal. Nat must have seen my indecisiveness. "There's no shame in turning back, the idea of the Multiverse scared me too, I had Nick test it for me a billion times."

"And look at you now~," I nervously chuckled. Can I really do this? To leave the Milky Way?

"Yep~, Here I am~, in front of my new friend," she gave me two finger guns.

Oh god, that was so cheesy! I couldn't help it and started laughing.

"Let's GO!" Sky came out of the room, and without giving me a moment to think grabbed me and ran through the portal.

I didn't know what was going to happen, but simply stepping into one room and into another, wasn't it. No cool sci-fi noises, or magic stuff, just one step, and poof, you're in another dimension, a bit anticlimactic really. Still, the room we were in was pretty cool~, Swords, armor, colorful banners, pictures of what seemed like their adventures and friends, one man standing in a family portrait with Jak and Julia that looked so much like Shepard I thought it might have been his slightly older brother, it looked a lot like their room in the Normandy. There were also other portals lining the walls that probably led to other dimensions, all neatly labeled with wooden signs, looking over to the portal I came from, a sign named Normandy was hanging over the door. At least I know where to go if I need to return in a rush.

Nat came through the door shortly after with Astral, "Don't drag people into the portal Sky!" I found it funny as a 5-foot woman chastised an 8-and-a-half-foot behemoth, and was doing damage.

Sky finally put me down, "It's okay~, I was kinda frozen back there~."

Nat shook her head at me, "You shouldn't do that. Sky is a Dragon. She is a creature of power, if she gets confirmation that she can do what she wants she will~." she points to Sky who was looking at me like Keiji did after that heist on the Citadel.

He he, I'm in danger~.

"Come on, come on, I wanna spread my wings~," I would be forever grateful and annoyed at Astral as she shoved me away from Sky and into another portal, unlike before, this was a large room with hundreds of giant robots standing in perfect attention, Neria came over with a small golem, which began scanning me, my little golem jumped from my shoulder and saluted. The taller golem gave him a scan, nodded, and moved away.

"I guess you're more than just my magic wand~." I lifted him up to my face where he bowed and morphed onto my wrist.

"Let's go already~!" Astral huffed running off ahead.

"For a 70-year-old woman she sure acts like a kid~, I blame Nick, he babies her too much. Girl needs some spanking," Nat huffed, walking out of the portal with Sky.

"Oh~, I'm sure someone's spanking to her~," I joked causing women to bust out laughing.

"Ahhh~, classic. Come on, let me show you my home before we hit the city~." Nat led me out of the room.

Turns out all the giant robots were indeed active, Nick was a paranoid man, never knowing what might come out of his portal, the robots were at the ready to crush anything without one of his golems without mercy. The room we were in was deep underground, with a single elevator that led to a real-life castle on top of a mountain where I met Nick's other sister... she was, mighty, to say the least, but still kind, like a... mom? Like a bear, majestic at a distance, terrifying up close. Nat and Neria showed me Nick's library, which gave the Citadel's archives a run for their money, I'm pretty sure he chopped down an entire forest to get that many books. I did love the smell though~.

It was when the girls took me out to the ramparts that I finally saw Sky City in all its glory~.

It was beautiful! Built on the side of a mountain, with farmland that seemed to stretch out across the mountain's ridges, down below was a Valley and lake, with a few homes and more farmland, and across the city and the valley was another mountain with what I could only call another castle but was the size of a small city, which turned out to be Hogwarts, Ferelden's foremost school of education for everything. It even had farmland for their farming classes, Nick really spared no expense. According to Nat and Neria, Nick got it in his head that if people got paid fairly for their work and had stuff to keep them occupied, they would bother him less. Not the worst plan in the galaxy.

The city was nicer up close, the roads were smoothly cobbled, with hundreds of men and women of different races walking from one place to another, with occasional children or adults in a uniform running off to catch a flying bus that made round trips to the school.

Lunch was fun, filled with jokes and laughs, it made the pain in my chest lessen, but Hock was still on my shit list, and I would get flashes of Keiji's face on a stranger for a second, reminding that his grey box is out there somewhere.

Hock will pay if it's the last thing I do.

-/-

Nick POV

"A bit choppy~, no?" I asked Shepard, who was sitting across from me.

"No part of Tuchanka is friendly~," Shepard answered, "Not even the air~."

Arriving on the Krogan home world this morning, Shepard, Grunt, Garrus, Tali, Sereda, Dogmeat, Mordin, and I were the first to get boots on the ground. The turbulence came to an end as we entered some kind of underground hanger bay.

"We've landed commander," the Kodiaks VI came over the comms.

"I still say we should have a pilot, what happens if the VI fails?" I asked.

"We die," Tali answered.

"That's not funny~," I bumped her with my hips.

"Who's joking?" she smirked at me, she seems to be getting used to not having a helmet. I wonder how the other Quarians are doing at the Migrant fleet, I hope Xen isn't experimenting on them.

My first impression of Tuchanka was, how do I kindly put this, A shit hole made of stone that was falling in on itself. Yeah~, that's it. I'm pretty sure I could burn this place to the ground and somehow it would still look better than it is now. The camp was far better, unlike the game, which only showed off a tiny part of one of the most powerful Krogan Clans on Tuchanka, real life was a million times cooler, the only thing we could see coming from space was the tip of the clan camp, the rest of it was underground, it some kind of ancient pyramid with multiple levels, each filled with Krogans doing their own thing, I couldn't see the top floor but it seemed to lead away from the main Camp, probably to a more secure and guarded area.

"Remember to keep calm, to the side, and if anyone makes a fuss, make an example," Shepard warned, moving off to the side and started climbing the stairs, we got some stares but no one did anything, Wrex ran a tight ship, there were dozens of other Clans talking and trading, we would pass a fight or two but Urdnot troops were quick to break it up.

"The earth here feels... angry~," Sereda commented.

"At what?" I asked.

"... Everything," she answered.

"Mmm, Shepard? What is the Maker telling you?" I asked.

"Not much, I think he knows I can't really do much here, but I'm sure Ayla's healing skills would do well here," he answered.

"She would probably start curing the Genophage~," I muttered, causing Mordin to twitched for a second but went back to normal.

"Can you cure this disease?" Sereda asked me.

"Yep~, but are the Krogan ready for that?" I asked, "From what Shepard tells me the Krogan people are still furious at the rest of the galaxy, if I were to cure them, they might just attack the rest of the galaxy in anger, and with the Reapers circling us like we're wounded pray, we can't afford a galactic war. But~, I'm nothing if not pragmatic, if Shepard trusts Wrex, I could help cure the females in Clan Urdnot for an alliance with humanity," I then stepped on something that made a nasty squishing noise. "And maybe allow me to clean this place a little. How can anyone live like this? It's Denerim all over again, but worse."

"Your need for building is showing~," Sereda teased.

"I can see it now, a beautiful waterfall that feeds to the center of the camp, Krogan sculptures that depict quick battles, plant life everywhere~," I used my prestidigitation to allow our little group to see what the Krogan camp could look like. It looked halfway between a forest and a future utopian city. "Nice right~? If we're here for a bit and I get Wrex's permission, this is probably the first thing I'm going to do."

"And the materials? Lots of work, not many willing to come to Tuchanka to drop off materials," Mordin pointed out.

"Drop off? Why would I want that? Have you looked outside? I can just recycle everything," I explained, "it's called 'magic' Mordin~, the laws of reality don't apply anymore, well, the law of matter still applies, and gravity... and food... let me rephrase that, Magic can do a lot of cool things~."

"I'll bring it up with Wrex," Shepard chuffed, we were about 8 flights of stairs up, I'm going to have to fix the escalator we were on. We still had at least another 15 flights, I doubt something like that would truly tire out Shepard, with his robotics and holy power, but these weren't flimsy 'human' stairs, these were Krogan stairs, and they made everything difficult. Where normal steps would barely reach 7 inches, Krogans brought it up to your shin, so if you missteped, get ready for a world of pain. "How are you not tired~."

"Oh, we've been earth bending a slab of earth under our feet to hover up the steps," I answered, pointing to the slab of earth underneath Sereda's and my feet. "Walkings for chumps~."

"... can you give us a lift?" he asked.

I slowly float past him, "Seems kinda lazy, no? Grunt's having a good time~." We look to the top of the stairs where Grunt was overlooking the Camp.

"This is the home world of Shiagur, Kredak, Moro, Terg, Wrend, and Veeoll? this rock is barely worth standing on!" he huffed.

"Ah~, my boy. The problem isn't what you see, it's what you don't see," I tutted, as I floated next to him.

"What does that mean? I can see just fine."

I shook my head, "The Krogan race has been beaten down time and time again, any normal race would have gone extinct, dust in the cosmic wind, and yet here we are. In a camp filled with different clans and cultures, brought together with one thing in common."

"Hunger?"

"Hope. Hope that tomorrow will better, hope that the next clutch of children will grow up strong, hope that the Krogan people will rise again. Rage tends to burn hot and fast and leave you hollow, but it's hope that keeps you marching. Don't look at the buildings Grunt, look at the people, are they broken? Are you shattered?" We looked out to the crowds of Krogans walking, talking, laughing, the world around them broken to pieces.

"They don't care," Grunt answered.

"Why would they? This is just a building, one day through hard work, they can make the building better, stronger, bigger~." I patted him on the shoulder. "Come on, Shepard's going to beat us to the top~."

Grunt just huffed, looking out to the crowd one last time before following me up.

I wasn't sure how Krogan society functioned, but as we got higher and higher, there were less individual krogan and more groups, clan symbols tended to be on clothing and armor, and there seemed to be less mingling, things looked almost... formal. As we reached the top, we were stopped by a krogan with the Symbol for Clan Urdnot, and I'm surprised there wasn't a Chantry official trying to sue for copy right infringement, being a sun with an eye in the center signifying Aralakh, Tuchanka's sun, also known as the Wrathful eye.

"No alien is allowed to meet the clan leader at this moment, the clans are in session," the guard explained.

"I'm John Shepard, Battle Master Urdnot Wrex and I are Krantt, I sent word that I would arrive today," Shepard spoke up,

"And how do I know-" he didn't even finish as Shepard headbutted him. "... come with me." What kind of password was that!? I looked over to Garrus and Tali who just shrugged, confused as I was. "I must still remind you that the Clan ambassadors are in talks with the Clan leader. So, if you don't want to get your face used as a bib, I suggest you keep to the side." The top floor was empty but there was a sky bridge, that showed the decimated world outside, that led to another section of the underground city.

This new room was large with a second story were Krogan were looked down on the meeting. There was a single stone throne on the far end of the room with a beam of light illuminating a massive Krogan sitting like a king of old.

Krogan Clan leader

Urdnot Wrex

Lvl: 64

Age:  1,426

HP 1500/1500

BP(Biotic points) 1200/1200

Str: don't let him get his hands on you

Vit: Natural HP regen

Dex: don't let his size fool you, he can run up to 50 MPH in a straight line

Int: he tends to eat his  problems...  don't be one of his problems

Wis: the years have made him very wise and grumpy

Cha: Ladies dig the scars

Luk: ran into Shepard, and got his Mojo back

Ailments:

Genophage (1500 MP)

Minor radiation poisoning (50MP)

A famed krogan mercenary and bounty hunter, Urdnot Wrex is also one of the last Krogan Battlemasters: rare individuals who combine powerful biotic abilities with the devastating firepower of advanced weaponry. A long-lived krogan who has had many adventures, gaining a large  number of connections  throughout the galaxy, from high powered spectres to lowly gang lords.

Despite his chosen path of violence and killing for credits, Wrex is deeply concerned with the fate of his people after the genophage, and is one of the few planning for a new krogan future.

He knows who you are thanks to Shepard but doesn't know what to make of you.

A krogan was stepping back and forth, in front of him, "You know what tradition demands! Clan Urdnot must respond! Your reforms will not go unopposed, you risk looking weak at a critical time-"

"SHEPARD!" Wrex called out, just straight up ignoring the krogan who was talking.

I leaned over to the Krogan guard who led us here, "On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it to be called on in the middle of a clan meeting?" I whispered.

"... good luck," he huffed and walked away. Yeah~, we're not making friends today~.

Say what you want about Shepard, but that man had the confidence of a badger~. He just strolled over like he owned the place; he even shoved a few Krogan out of the way. We just followed his makeshift path.

"Wrex!"

Shepard!" They shook hands like long-lost brothers, I was fully expecting them to start arm wrestling in the air, Predator style. "My friend! You look good for dead, Shepard~. Should have known the void couldn't hold you."

"Wrex~, looks like you've done well for yourself," Shepard nodded looking around the room.

"Not for me Shepard, but for all krogan, Clan Urdnot is just the beginning, when I'm done, we will be one people again," Many of the krogan in the room grunted and huffed in approval.

"You abandoned many traditions to get your way, dangerous," the krogan Wrex ignored growled. Getting other Krogan to grunt in approval.

Wrex didn't seem to like that, so he turned, and with the grace of a sledgehammer, headbutted the other Krogan to the ground. "Speak when spoken to Uvenk, I'll drag your clan to glory, whether it likes it or not." Another round of grunts was heard from the peanut gallery, at this point I think they were just hungry, it was getting close to lunchtime, "Now, Shepard what brings you here? how's the Normandy?" The krogan in the room seemed to relax, I'm guessing this was considered an intermedium.

"Destroyed in a collector surprise attack, I ended up spaced," good to see him coming to terms with what happened, maybe Chambers really is a therapist.

"Well, you look good." he grunted in approval sitting back down on his throne, "Ah, the benefits of a redundant nervous system."

"Yeah, humans don't have that~," Shepard deadpanned.

"Oh, it must have been painful then, but you're standing here and you've got a strong new ship, takes me back to the old days, us against the unknown, killing it with big guns, good times~," he smirked.

"I wouldn't call Shepard's driving 'a good time~'," Garrus joked.

"That time he drove up that mountain, Keelah~," Tali muttered, shaking her head.

"I thought I saw a crate!" Shepard hissed.

"Tali?" Wrex huffed, "I see you finally got rid of the bucket~, I didn't wanna say anything but it looked really dumb, I'm just happy it was a phase."

"... Yeah~, me too~." she deadpanned.

"You youngins always trying to look cool~, guns are cool. Buy more guns! The bigger the better."

"Still the same crazy Krogan uncle I see~. But to be fair, guns have saved my life on multiple occasions~" she muttered.

"It's because guns are great!" pretty much every Krogan hummed in approval.

"Yes-yes, guns are super cool, but catching up is only part of the reason I'm here," Shepard interrupted, keeping the meeting from going into heavy gun lore.

"Ahh~, yes," he turned to Grunt, "The boy~. Tell me, boy, did your Clan die out before you knew what rite you had to perform?"

Grunt stood up straight and looked Wrex in the eye, "I have no clan, I was tank born created by warlord Okeer, my line distilled from Shiagur, Kredak, Moro-"

"You recite warlords but you're an offspring of a syringe," Uvenk interrupted, getting all up on Grunt's face, but my boy kept his cool. I wasn't though, Grunt was a young man barely entering adulthood and Uvenk is a grown ass Krogan trying to punch down, I cracked some of my joints. I don't have to kill Uvenk... just, set an example.

"I am pure Krogan, you should be in awe," Grunt huffed, dismissing Uvenk.

"Okeer~? That is a very old name, a very 'hated' name," Wrex stood from his throne getting a better look at Grunt.

"He's dead," Grunt clarified.

Wrex rolled his eyes, "Of course, you're with Shepard, how could he be alive?"

"You know I don't kill random krogan, right?" Shepard drawled.

"Trust me, you would make an exception for Okeer. So, you wish to take the Rite of Passage?"

"TO FAR WR- ACK!?"

Haki + minimal strength + backstab + fisticuffs + Jeet Kune Do = 525 points of bludgeoning Damage.

Uvenk didn't get to finish his rant as I cold-cocked him right in the jaw, dropping him.

"Sorry about that, his voice was getting annoying, please take this War Axe as an apology," I summoned a War Axe. It was one of my flashier weapons, Stainless steel, Druffalo leather, and had a fire rune on the head, tapping it on the ground the head burst into flames, before I tapped on the ground again, snuffing it out.

Wrex took a couple of swings, checking the weight, and activating the runes a few times, making sure he knew how it worked, and nodded to me, "Apology accepted," looking back to Shepard, "It's about time you started hanging around more..." he looked over to Garrus, "Respectable people~,"

"I'm not a Space cop anymore, I'm a Space vigilante."

"Oh~, so now you don't have to take bribes in secret, just beat up the criminals and take the money~," Wrex huffed.

"And don't you forget it~," Garrus huffed.

Wrex just smirked and shook his head, before turning to Grunt, "Well boy, do you ready to stand with Urdnot?"

Grunt looked over to Shepard, "This is your decision Grunt."

He then looked over to me, "Becoming an adult means you have to make your own choices," I patted him on the back, "But know that we're backing you up the whole way."

He gave the room one last look, before turning back to Wrex, "It's in my blood, it's what I'm for."

"Good boy, go meet with the shaman on the second floor," Wrex ordered, "he'll set you on the path,"

Shaman~, fuck, how did I forget about the shaman!? Shit! "RAAAAAR!" Uvenk rushed me.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I roared, mule kicking him dead in the chest.

Haki + Max strength + Fisticuffs = 1,032 Points of bludgeoning Damage.

I didn't check myself; my kick rag dolled Uvenk over all the krogan in the room and into the far wall where his corpse made a mess.

You have killed Gatatog Uvenk!

Reward: 5,000 EXP, Claymore shotgun, 5,000 credits

Warning! You are now  a  hated enemy of Clan Gatatog. They will attack you on sight.

I let out a long sigh, summoned a trident with a lightning rune, and passed it to Wrex, "For the wall~." he played with the trident, finding the rune that shot out a spell of Chain lightning that struck the ceiling. He looked at the trident, then to me, "It has 6 shots, needs 30 seconds to reload."

He nodded, "See Tali, this is an apology gift~."

"You said you liked the Krogan wax I got you!"

"It was Turtle Wax! You think I didn't know the difference?"

"In my Defense, I didn't have a lot of money, Shepard was being all stingy," Tali huffed.

"You wanted the HMOT Master line Omni-tool!" Shepard countered.

"And It was worth every cred~," she smirked patting her omni-tool.

"How come Tali got all the good stuff while the rest of us got your sloppy seconds~?" Garrus asked.

Shepard rolled his eyes, "Oh, I don't know Garrus~, maybe it was because she was the only one who could destroy Geth with a wave of her hand, or maybe it was because whenever she was around our enemies' shields seemed to malfunction, or maybe, and hear me out here, she had full control of my money," he shrugged.

"That's why you got the fancy Dextro food!" Garrus pointed to Tali, who looked all kinds of smug.

"Enough!" Wrex roared, shoving them toward the second floor, "Go whine about Shepard's lack of financial sense to the Shaman!"

"Uh, Clan leader Wrex?" I whispered to him, "Uvenk seemed important, do I need to remove Clan Gatatog from the census in order for them to leave me alone?"

"Mmm, not the whole clan~, just his Krantt, I'll move in, absorb his clan and take the women and children to the Female Camp."

New Quest: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!? You have bloodied Clan Gatatog's honor and they will chase you to the end of the Galaxy unless you put them down.

0/10 Gatatog Troops

Reward: 20,000 exp, 1 M-11 Wraith, 15,000 Credits, friendly with Clan Urdnot, no longer an enemy ofClan Gatatog.

"Thanks~," I muttered, following the rest of the crew.

"You've done made a mistake~," Sereda teased.

"Aren't you a princess? You shouldn't go around laughing at peasantry," I huffed.

"Mmm~, that's blatantly untrue, in fact at least 30% of any Noble's job is laughing at those less fortunate. How do you think we gain annoying laughs? Years of practice." She then proceeded to laugh in a way that made me want to buy a guillotine.

"I'm going to cover you in cake and have Julee and Jak do things to your body that would be very inappropriate to say in polite company," I threatened.

"But we're surrounded by uncaring Krogan~," she countered.

"I know~, I don't want them to feel inadequate~," I joked.

"Promises~, Promises~," she teased, strolling ahead to talk to Tali.

"So, Lady Zorah, how come you were in charge of the Commander's financial assets?" Sereda asked.

"Spectres don't really get paid, the idiot Council thought that spectres should gain their own money, so after we sold off every weapon, we picked off every idiot that got it in their head that they could kill us, Shepard decided to buy model ships~." I knew you could buy model ships in the game, but I only thought that was in the second game.

"So, he bought a toy? I don't see the problem, Alistair had a few, something to give Mother Base a bit more of a whimsical vibe," Sereda stated. It's true, Alistair would at times find toys and buy them, Elissa found them cute and their baby boy, Bryce, loved them.

"It wasn't just a single ship," she clarified.

"232," Garrus answered, having Vietnam flashbacks. "They were everywhere, in my nutrient paste, in the Mako, my locker-"

"-the engine room, there were at least 5 in Joker's cockpit, the fridge, we could barely eat on the god damn table! So, not wanting to find one in my suit, I took control of his finances," Tali huffed.

"And here I thought Shepard gained control of his addiction with pure willpower," Garrus muttered, "Never meet your heroes."

"You guys are overreacting ~, so I bought one or two, so what~," Shepard shrugged, "It was my money."

"We needed a toilet!" Garrus growled, "We needed to make emergency landings every day! Shepard... John... if I go up to your cabin... and find it filled with Model Ships... I 'will' lose my mind."

Shepard just scoffed, "Relax~, I learned my lesson... but uh, in unrelated terms, don't go up to my room for a while, there's a, uh... gas leak." Garrus and Tali let off a long shaky sigh, just trying to keep their shit together. "Oh look, we're here."

Walking up to the top floor we were greeted with dozens of shirtless krogan, each with some kind of colorful battle skirts, with different body paints designs

I didn't get any closer, staying by the stairs, this place looked holy as all get out.

"Nick?" Shepard calls out.

"Yeah, bud?" I answered staying in place.

"Are you coming?"

Sereda let out a sigh, "Shepard, I know you're new at this but you need to focus. Allow your magic to feel your surroundings."

He stood still for a moment before he started shivering, "What is that!?"

"There's a god here or at the very least a large amount of holy power. Someone knew we'd come here." Sereda hummed.

"But how?" Shepard asked.

"They're gods Shepard, how do they know anything? Nick tends to be a lightning rod when it comes to divine entities," she explained.

"Meaning?" Tali asked.

"If I walk into that room, I'm probably going to get mind-jacked," I answered.

"That doesn't sound good," Garrus muttered.

Grunt didn't say anything, just stared at me with huge eyes. Did Dogmeat teach him how to do that? "Ugh! Fine but if anything happens it's on your head," I warned pointing at Grunt. Taking a single step into the room... nothing happened. "Hey look at that, nothing- and they're gone~."

I wasn't even standing in the room anymore, I was standing in the middle of a vast desert in the middle of the night, stars overhead, without a soul in sight, before I spotted him, the outline of a krogan in the stars, he was old, real old, moons were circling his being, sitting on a throne made of space dust, looking down at me.

Divine

Vaul the protector

He is too powerful, you cannot read his stats

He is unimpressed.

Even at Master Rank in observation, I couldn't see a god's stats.

"Impress me, show me your might, show me your resolve."

That was the only thing he said before a single Krogan appeared from the sand, and then another, then a dozen, a hundred, they then blocked the horizon line.

New Quest: Survive

Reward: your soul doesn't become one with the Void

"Because why not~," I muttered, Gamer's Mind keeping me from losing my nerve, "WELL THEN!? COME GET SOME!" I roared Sand bending a huge wave, slamming into the horde.

-/-

Shepard POV

Nick took a single step into the room before he froze in place, his face went blank, and his eyes seemed to lose all life. He looked like he died on his feet, just staring off into space.

"Nick?" Sereda waved her hands in front of his face.

"Is this normal?" Mordin asked.

"No," Sereda answered worry lacing her words. "The gods don't work in mortal time; a month could pass for them and not a moment would have passed here. This is taking too long."

"What's happening here?' An older Krogan came over and unlike his brothers, he was wearing a red sash.

"AND YOU CAN KISS MY-!" Nick dropped to the ground, breathing like he ran a marathon. He got to his knees and looked around the room, "Oh good~, I'm back."

"Nick!" Sereda rushed forward grabbing his face, neck, and chest, looking for injuries. "What happened? Are you ok? Do I need to take you back to the Normandy?"

Nick Just pulled her in close, "I'm fine~, I'm okay. Just one of the Krogan Gods thought it be fun to throw endless Krogan spirits at me, for the last... month? I don't know~, time is a weird thing in a place without a sun." He slowly got to his feet.

"Nick~," Sereda helped him to his feet.

"The princess saving the knight," he teased.

"What are you talking about, I'm both the princess and the knight, you're the damsel, now shut up and let me help," she huffed, holding on to his hips.

"Thank you," he leaned into her side.

Garrus turned to me, "Why don't you hold me like that when I need a hand, you toss me over your shoulder like I'm a sack of Varren jerky."

"That's because we're being shot at 9 out of 10 times, and carrying away like you're my bride would have made Ash jealous, remember that time I shook Kaidan's hand for too long?" I answered with a roll of my eyes.

"I don't know~, Kaidan was really looking deep into your eyes that one time~," Tali pointed out.

"Excuse me," the Krogan Shaman regained our attention, "Why are you here?"

"I am here for my Rite of Passage into Clan Urdnot," Grunt answered.

The Shaman looked over Grunt, then the rest of the group, before focusing back on Grunt, "Who is your Krantt? Who will stand by your side as the world crumbles around you?"

"You're looking at them," Nick answered without hesitation, "We haven't let a single enemy live, so I understand if you don't know us~."

The Shaman gave him a long look, before smirking, "come with me," he grunted leading us to a large Krogan who was using a mortar and pestle to crush what seemed to be plants into a red paste.

"Elder, a young one is here for a chance at the Rite," the Shaman bowed.

"Yes, I saw. Not many humans can kill a krogan in a single blow," the elder Krogan didn't stop working on his paste.

"I wasn't planning on killing him, I just forgot about something important, and Uvenk's voice was the last thing I wanted to hear," Nick muttered, I need Nick to teach us how to kill krogan in a single blow.

"Ba~!" The elder waved away his excuse, "Uvenk was full of shit, he hid behind his Krantt and use words to seem smart, we knew sooner or later someone was going to shove his words down his throat, the fact it was a human only made it better. Fair warning, his Krantt is going to try and kill you when you leave this place." he jutted his head to the floor below where some Krogan were looking up at us while moving Uvenk's corpse.

"Oh good, saves me the trouble of hunting them down," Nick sighed, "I was not in the mood, hey do you know a god by the name Vaul the Protector?" The name sent a shiver up my spine, that was weird.

"... Yes, he is one of our oldest gods, legends say he protected Tuchanka from the dark gods of the void. Why?" the elder asked.

"He demanded I give hope to the Krogan people." we gave him a weird look, "Hope is the name of a large fuck off War hammer."

"That makes more sense," the elder huffed, "Just take it to Wrex, he'll know what to do with it." he seemed rather uncaring about the fact that one of their gods gave some kind of holy weapon to an alien, but to be fair if I wasn't a paladin I'd probably labeled Nick a crazy person and moved on with the rest of my day.

"No problem boss man," Nick gave them a thumbs up.

"Now, young one, you wish to take your rite of passage, correct?" the Elder asked Grunt, finishing his paste.

"Yes, I am ready," Grunt confirmed.

"Pick 2 of your Krantt, together you shall face the Rite and come out stronger, or dead." Grunt turned to me, I just nodded, followed by looking at Nick, who also nodded, much to Sereda's annoyance. "Very well." the elder dipped his finger into the paste and drew a circle on Grunt's forehead and a single dot for Nick and me. "Head to the garage on the first floor, they will lead you to the first Marker, it will be up to you to find the next two keystones when you finish the third key, you will activate the Beacon on the third marker where someone of Clan Urdnot shall retrieve you, do you understand?"

"Can you give us any idea what they might face?" Sereda asked

The elder shook his head, "No, the Rite is all about survival, it is up to them to find their way to safety. Any more questions?" we shook our heads "Then let the ancestors watch over you."

Giving a final bow we left the second floor.

"That SUUUUUCKED!" Nick groaned, twisting and bending. No doubt warming up for the shitstorm we are about to walk into. "Vaul was a douche!" that too, I guess.

"What happened?" Sereda asked, "You were frozen for a full 10 seconds?"

"Vaul had me fight hordes of his warriors to test my 'resolve' I think he was just bored," he huffed, jumping on his toes, "My soul is all over the place, the warriors weren't gentle~."

"Are you going to be okay?" Tali asked.

"For the stone you stand on is firm and stable," Sereda chanted, touching Nick in the chest, causing him to glow for a second.

Nick gave a sigh of relief, "Thank you~," he brought her into a hug, "Where would I do without you~."

"Probably tied up to a bed, with Jak standing over you like a watchdog," she joked.

"I could think of worse places~," he teased. "Alright let's go talk with Wrex and drop off this holy hammer of protection, it's going to be one hell of a show~."

It took some time as other Krogan leaders had business with Wrex and unlike Uvenk, Wrex was actually listened to these guys. So, we just got in line, Nick was passing the time by making food and serving the Krogans around us, 'food is the easiest way to make friends~' he explained, and he was right many of the Krogan seemed less annoyed at our presence. By the time we got to the front of the line, Grunt was given enough advice to know what to look for when we go on his Rite. At first, he was annoyed that people were ruining his Rite, but I explained that a warrior with information on the enemy and the terrain uses his knowledge as a weapon, which eased his pride and got him excited about what was coming.

As Nick got to the front of the line, he gave Wrex a bow, "Clan Leader Urdnot Wrex, I came in contact with one of your gods, Vaul the protector." Many of the Krogan in the room got up and started growling and thumping chest, calling Nick a liar and all sorts of names.

"Silence." Wrex ordered raising a hand, quieting the room, "Do you know what you are saying Walters, the Salarians did the same when we first met, and you can see where that ended. Be cautious of your next words, no gift can hold back a Krogan horde in a blood rage."

Nick gave a bow, "I bring no offense clan leader, I tend to be a messenger for the gods, but rarely do I get a choice. I was asked to deliver Vaul's blessing to the Krogan who is uniting the krogan people, for he believes the servants of the Dark gods return is nye." Nick extends his hand out, at first nothing happened, but then I felt it, in my very bones.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Around the room 5 ghostly Krogan materialized, all holding large spears thumping the earth in unison, as they began to chant a low guttural rhythm. The Krogan in the room were in awe, Shit I was in awe, was it like this when I became a paladin? As the Krogan chanted the earth under Nick's outstretched arm began to shift and move.

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Every thump made, seemed to push a handle out of the floor, it wasn't long before a massive Warhammer, with the skull of a beast, stood tall in front of all of us. Nick just moved away from it, leaving it for Wrex.

The room grew dead silent. The Krogan specters looked on... waiting.

Wrex stood to his full height and grabbed the hammer.

"Get ready!" Nick called out, dropping into a combat stance, as one of the specters roared and rushed Wrex, getting the Clan ambassadors to jump out of the way. Not wasting a moment Wrex grabbed the Warhammer and spun it, clocking the Ghost in the head, returning it to dust. This got the rest to charge, and everyone in the room to scramble.

"SACRED GROUND!" Sereda screamed, causing every weapon in the room to light up with holy energy. I need to get more spells!

Shooting a specter in the face it growled and focused on me, only to get blindsided by Wrex's holy hammer. "JUST LIKE OLD TIMES SHEPARD!" well at least he was having fun~.

"SMITE!" I heard Sereda roar smacking a Ghostly Krogan with a huge glowing fist turning it to dust.

Right, I'm a Paladin~, "SMITE!" I cast shooting a Ghost between the eyes, it paused for a second before looking at me with annoyance, before it exploded into dust.

"You have one too!?" Wrex cheered, "But like always, mine's bigger~." he gloated killing another one. The last one was torn apart by a hail of holy bullets thanks to the room of confused and angry Krogan. As it vanished the room fell back into silence.

Suddenly Wrex's hammer lit up like a lighthouse blinding everyone. As the light faded, everyone was pointing their guns and a newly armored Wrex, his ancestral armor, was changed, where before it was old with some rust, it now seemed to glow and gave off an aura, of might, of prestige.

"Congratulations Wrex, you are now the Paladin of Vaul," Nick sighed, stretching out his muscles, "what that comes with is anyone's guess." With my holy sight still active I saw Nick's perfectly circular soul light up like a beacon in the dark before it faded, I wasn't sure, but it looked... bigger.

Wrex looked at Nick, "You are a very strange man, you could have told us that the Krogans of old would have attacked."

Nick shook his head, "No, I couldn't~, the same way the Elder couldn't tell Grunt what his Rite involves, Vaul wanted to test you, to see if you had the strength to carry the krogan people on your back, to see if the people would help when they did not have to, a Rite of Paladin hood, and it seems Vaul has judged you worthy."

Wrex just looked down at his new Warhammer, "Servants of the Dark gods~," he muttered looking over at me. I gave him a light nod, which probably meant the Reapers. "My people would need to be ready," he huffed, "And would need allies."

Nick gave another bow, "I do wish to talk to you about that, but I'll do that after I help Grunt complete his Rite. Feel free to have fun with your new powers." Sereda nudged me, "Oh right," he summoned a rock on a necklace, "This is a Rune of Greater Mana regeneration, it helps you regain any mana you use at five times the normal rate, and this lovely woman is Princess Sereda Thuruna Thundoline Aeducan, Paragon of Orzammar, and Paladin of the Stone, if you want she can help you understand your magic, and how to contact your holy patron." Sereda made a fist, causing her stone gauntlets to give off holy power. This caused my Pistol to light up in response along with Wrex's Warhammer.

"Never a dull moment with you is there Shepard~," Wrex grunted.

"You know me~, the galaxy calls for help and I'm a sucker for a damsel~."

"he he he he. Very well, go, complete the Rite and head back here," he took the rune from Nick, "Stone," he looked down to Sereda, "How'd you make your gloves into those bracers?" he asked walking back to his chair, the krogan around us muttering and huffed at what they just saw and did, this is going to make the rounds in the camp for a while, I wonder when it's going to leave the planet. I can just imagine the Council frothing at the mouth at the idea that their gods could help their people.

"We'll make sure Wrex doesn't get a big head," Garrus patted us on the back, walking over to Wrex.

"Try and keep the destruction to this side of the planet~," Tali elbowed me.

"All be here with the crew, try and understand holy power, and see if I can find information on Maelon, come back safe," Mordin nodded and walked with the others.

"Dogmeat, watch over Sereda," Nick ordered, dogmeat ran after the crew. "So, ya ready?"

"LET'S GO!" Grunt cheered running out of the room.

Here we go~.

-/-

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you saw it, Clan Gatatog wasn't waiting outside for us to fight, the guard told us that they ran off, more than likely to try and cause problems for us. At least we didn't take the stairs, Nick wanted to make a statement and had us use a stone slab to slowly and flashily lower to the ground, making sure everyone could see us. Grunt loved it~, he roared out and flexed, getting roars back.

Reaching the garage, we ran into our first Gatatog Krogan, he talked about something about learning our lesson, and how his brothers were going to kill us. Nick literally smacked his head off in a single blow.

'1 down, 9 to go~,' Nick muttered.

The Gatatog krogan did a number on our transportation, but Nick fixed it with a wave of his hand, the Krogan engineer looked shocked at his brand-new Tomkah tank.

Reaching the first Marker took an hour, and our driver commented how smooth our ride was, I'm guessing the suspension was shot some time ago. Nick has a spell for everything doesn't he?

It took over 2 hours to get to the drop off point, "Alright Shep you're up," Nick whispered to me. He was jutting his head over to Grunt, my confusion must have been written on my face because he rolled his eyes. "You are an N7 elite soldier, teach the young man a thing or two."

Right~, "Grunt, I want you to pay attention, because you're doing this for the rest of the Markers." I called out getting Grunt's attention. "First, secure your surroundings, check for dangers, you're in hostile territory so have your weapon at the ready, one of the worse things to have right now is tunnel vision. Use all your senses, what do you see? What do you smell? What do you hear?"

"All I see is rubble, I hear the wind, and I smell... Food?" he took another whiff, "Yeah, something is roasting."

That's weird, "Keep an eye out, second, find your objective, where is the marker?" I asked.

He pointed to a large tower, "There, they told us the first marker should be within sight."

"Good, Nick can you clear a path?" I asked, he took the lead, touching a huge pillar popping it out of existence.

"Whoa~, what was that?" Grunt asked.

"It's my hammerspace, as long as it isn't alive and isn't too big, I can shove it into another dimension, that is attached to my soul. I can then use magic to recycle the material, of course, that isn't perfect, some material can't be saved so it's sacrificed to the ether," Nick explained. Popping more rubble into his hammerspace.

"Can others learn to do this?" I asked, scanning our new open space, something was cooking.

"I tried replicating my power but there's something about it that's unique. So, I help create Bags of Holding it replicate the effects. The hell?" head of us was a pack of dead Varren on fire. Nick snuffed the fire. "Someone is trying to lure in something big~." He looked back to me, tossing me and Grunt one of his Gauss rifles, "You got 230 shots," before tossing me some ammo, "Make that 460, aim, hold, release." It wasn't as heavy as I thought it was going be.

"Grunt," I jutted my head to the keystone. Not saying a word, he slammed the button, causing a large steel hammer to rise into the air.

"First the Krogan conquered Tuchanka... and mastered a natural world only we are fit to hold!" the keystone's automated voice screamed out to the sky, before bringing down the hammer causing a tremor I felt to my very soul.

"the dinner bell has just been rung~," Nick muttered.

Grunt pointed out into the sky, "Here they come! I'm ready!" Harvesters~, I don't remember a lot about these from N7 training but I do remember that their mean, travel in packs, and use Klixen to weaken their prey before coming back and eating everything, Klixen included. Aiming my rifle, I held the trigger, getting a number reader to skyrocket to 99, giving me the maximum output, and released, the rifle kicked but it was nothing like I thought it would be. I've seen Nick, his crew, and a bunch of Quarians use it, but releasing the trigger was a strange experience, most rifles tend to have a kick, but whatever Nick did to his guns seemed to remove the kickback.

Following the blue streak my bullet let out, one of the harvesters jerked hard and plummeted to the ground. That seemed to anger the rest of them.

"Nice shot Shepard~, what was that, a thousand yards?" Nick whistled. "Grunt?"

"Mmm~," Grunt hummed, taking a shot, hitting one dead center, causing it to follow its brood. "YEAH!"

"Heads up! We got company~," Nick warned as Varren started coming out of the underground tunnels. A whole lot of them~. Nick started making pit traps and shooting any that got too close, but as we dealt with them, harvesters were able to get in close enough to drop off Klixen before trying to fly away, they didn't get very far as I shot them in the back.

"I should thank them~," Nick laughed grabbing a klixen by a foot and throwing it at a group of Varren where Grunt shot it in the underbelly causing a small explosion, "Not every day you get live fire grenades~."

Grunt was just laughing and cheering shooting everything with more than two legs, "This is great! DO YOU HEAR ME TUCHANKA!? I AM KROGAN!" he roared, shooting from the hip and punching a Varren, before stomping on its neck.

With Nick and Grunt handling the ground troops I focused on the harvesters; it took another two waves before the battlefield grew silent. We stood in the silence, waiting, but after a minute we concluded that nothing else was coming.

"Alright~," Nick sighed, "The show is yours Grunt, where are we going?"

-/-

Grunt POV

One Marker down, the fight was good, and the roasted Varren brought in more prey to the slaughter, but I didn't like that it was because of that worthless clan Gatatog, even their name was dumb, that laid the bait for the creatures of Tuchanka, I wanted the creatures to come to eat me, not some already killed prey, at least the roasted Varren haunch Nick made me calmed my anger.

Nick is a strange human, well, all aliens are strange, but Nick is stranger than that. His eyes see things others don't, hear things, that are silent, fells things others can't. His magic makes him dangerous, makes him an unknown, he can use the power to do whatever he liked and the first thing he does is teach a krogan. Yes, he did it out of petty reasons, which I respect, but he could have done the same with the turian or the angry bald female, yet he didn't.

He is very strange.

"Fork," Nick called out, as we reached a split in the path." all you Grunt."

"Mmm~," the Krogan at the clan meeting room told me about some of the symbols Krogan of old left behind to give those who follow a sense of direction, but something was wrong, taking a whiff, I smelt fresh paint, "Someone covered the symbols, Gatatog~," a growled, this was dangerous, the tank's imprint warned me about the dangers that called Tuchanka home. 'in times of stress and confusion allow your magic to give you a clue,' was one of Nicks first lessons, when I started casting Firebolt.

My magic~. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I searched for my mana core like Nick taught me, the fact that I had three stomachs made it hard at first. Finding it, I let it go, slow and steady, too hard or too fast could lead to a Mana crash, opening my eyes I came face to face with another ghostly krogan, he had ancient armor and a spear with the symbol of Clan Urdnot painted on his forehead. Looking over I found Nick and Shepard looking around to make sure we weren't ambushed, the krogan pointed left, before vanishing.

"Grunt? You okay?" Shepard asked.

"I... yes, we go left," I ordered. That was weird. "Nick?"

"mmm?"

"Can ghosts help you?" I asked.

"Mmm~, some can yes, it tends to be ancestors coming back to give their descendants a guiding clue. This usually happens for people who have ancestor worship as part of their religious practice. Why? you got a clue from a ghost?" he answered, storing away more junk.

"I think I did, but I've never seen him before, he did have the symbol for Clan Urdnot," I explained.

"Then take comfort in that, Clan Urdnot is taking a liking to you," he smirked, patting me on the shoulder.

Urdnot Grunt. Yeah, I can make that work.

"heads up," Shepard called out. The keystone was hidden behind a bombed building.

The ancestors have led me right.

-/-

"Then the Krogan were lifted to the stars to destroy the fears of the galaxy, an enemy only we could chase to their lairs!" the Krogan voice barked to the empty wasteland, as the hammer came down, challenging the strength to come to meet their end.

For the first time since we got out here everything was silent, even the wind seemed to die down. Then I felt it, it was a soft tremor, and the pebbles around me began to vibrate.

"What is that?" I asked.

"You got to be joking~," Shepard muttered. The tremors began to kick up to the point where I had to brace myself.

"What's going on!?" I roared, and suddenly the tremors stopped, before something exploded from the broken rubble, followed by another two. Images began popping into the front of my mind.

"Thresher Maw~," Shepard whispered, aiming his gun at one of the tails, "Nick?"

Looking over I found Nick shoving his hands into the earth, "The second you shoot, I'm going to harden the ground as hard as I can, making sure it can't just pop from underneath us," he answered. "When your ready Grunt."

"Shepard, I'll shoot first, follow up when it pops up. We need more cover," I pointed out.

"I got you," Nick nodded.

I nodded back, aiming and charging my rifle. The shot was true, blowing the top right off a tail, pissing off the thresher maw as it exploded out of the ground, where it took Shepard's follow-up shot to one of its poison sacs. Nick then hardened the earth underneath us and popped out multiple thick walls of the earth for cover, before jumping out of the way of a poison dart as it slammed into the spot he was standing on.

I started rapidly firing the Rifle getting the Maw's attention, just for a boulder the size of a sky car to slam into its head followed by a more precise shot to claw, causing it to roar and dive back down into the earth.

It then exploded out of the ground to our right firing a poison dart blindly at our general direction, lucky we had plenty of space to avoid it. We returned fire, pelting it with bullets and large boulders while running around dodging poison darts and lunges. It all came to an end as Nick created a giant earthen spear and stabbed it through the mouth coming out its back.

"Fuck me that sucked," Nick groaned, hiffing and puffing

"He, he, he~," I started laughing, followed by Nick, with Shepard taking up the rear. "RAAAAARR!" I gave a cheer. To kill a Thresher Maw is one thing, but to do it on foot.

"Alright~, let's take a moment to breathe," Shepard eased his laughter, "we still have one more keystone~."

-/-

Nick POV

We took a brief break before moving on, the sun was beginning to set and I sure as hell didn't want to be out here in the dark. Along the way, we ran into three more Gatatog krogan trying to ambush us, 4 down, 6 to go.

Grunt was able to lead us down a path that ended with another keystone tower, this one in the middle of what seemed to be a wall-less mausoleum surrounded by a dry lake bed that stretched out into the desert, with some buildings sticking out of the ground like islands.

Krogan statues stood throughout the open space, most were broken.

"Urdnot Noksar," Grunt pointed to one of the statues. Shepard and I looked at each other in confusion.

"Who?" I asked.

"Urdnot Noksar," Grunt repeated, before pointing to another one, "Urdnot Kark, Urdnot Turgon. This is where Clan Urdnot started. Old Krogan came together to survive Tuchanka... long before we nuked ourselves. Come on, we have one last keystone."

I'll say one thing about Krogan architecture, it was meant to last, I'm just happy the radiation that plagued Tuchanka has long since settled. Reaching the keystone, we found a problem.

"It's broken," Shepard pointed out looking over the button, "Nick, you think you can-"

"No," Grunt cut Shepard off. "It's not broken," he grabbed the chain that was meant to lift the hammer and began pulling, slowly lifting the hammer.

DANGER! LEFT! I Earth bent a wall just in time to block a tank around from taking our heads.

"FUCK!?" Following the round, I spotted a Tomkah with the Gatatog symbol painted on its side. "I see where the rest of Gatatog ran off to. Alright Grunt lets-"

"I can't!" he barked back. "I've already started! I can't stop, they're telling me to finish!" He gestured to the statues around the room.

Grunt would become an ancestral guardian at a time like this, "Shepard! Help Grunt! I'll handle these idiots!" I ordered, sand-bending the Tomka head first into the earth. DANGER! RIGHT! Making another wall to my right blocking a shotgun blast.

Step, thrust! I shoved the wall right into a krogan slamming him with a rock going 30 miles an hour, launching him across the room. Activating my observation skill 3 red krogan appeared in my vision, my Gauss rifle did quick work of any shield and armor, but the damn krogan have a billion redundant organs, every time I would drop one, they ran behind cover. That shit was annoying, so I just created an illusion, turned invisible, and unleashed a full-power backstab, ending things in one blow.

7 down 3 to go.

Looking around I spotted another krogan rushing toward Grunt and Shepard, but before I got to lay the smack down, a ghostly spear slammed into the krogan, pinning him to the ground, followed by two more, before a ghostly Krogan came into view, giving me a nod before vanishing into the ether.

"whoa~."

A loud clicking noise gained my attention.

"Now all Krogan bear the genophage, our reward, our curse. It is a fight where the only goal is survival!" the automated krogan voice screamed to the wind, as the hammer came down sending a shockwave, throughout the empty desert.

Before, when the Thresher Maw attacked, everything became... quiet, as if the world was holding its breath, now, it felt like something was ripping the very air from my lungs.

"Is that mountain... moving?" Shepard asked. Looking out into the setting sun, I think he was right.

I squinted, trying to get my Observation skill to give me a reading, "What is that?" the mountain twisted and headed straight for us.

Elder Thresher Maw

Kalros

HP 1,900,000/1,900,000

Lvl:?

Run

New Quest: Munch munch munch! Kalros has heard your dinner bell and is heading your way! Escape or defeat Kalros!

Escape reward: 100,000 EXP, neutral with the Krogan race, one silver loot box

Defeat reward: 1,000,000,000 EXP, 150 Gold loot boxes, Krogan Legend, Feared and respected throughout the galaxy.

Arrival: 10 minutes

9:59

9:58

Hell nah! "THRESHER MAW! Big thresher maw! We need to go!" I screamed.

"We need to turn on the beacon!" Shepard screamed looking for the beacon.

"Found it~," Grunt muttered, pointing out to the Tomkah, where a Gatatog Krogan was digging himself and his friend out, the beacon on his back. I didn't hesitate, I dashed forward as fast as I could, slamming right into the back of the krogan, snapping his back, grabbing his friend, and launching him as far into the desert as I could, I grabbed the beacon, and launched the injured krogan out with his friend.

+1 minute

Dashing back a passed it to Shepard, "It's on! We need to get the hell out of here!" he screamed.

"Grunt is the family telling you anything!?" I asked.

Grunt was looking around the room, nodding at statues, "There's an underground passage where the Shaman is supposed to come and greet us." He pointed to a statue, grabbing it and forcing it to move, we were met with a staircase leading into the abyss. "Light~," Grunt huffed, sending out a light orb down the stairs.

I patted him on the back, "That's my boy~, let's bounce." We were running down the stairs, no doubt my school teachers would be appalled at my flagrant disregard for safety. Reaching the bottom which opened to a tunnel, we began to feel the earth vibrate. I created an earth ramp and pushed us forward at 40 mph.

Quest completed: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!? You have bloodied Clan Gatatog's honor and they will chase you to the ends of the Galaxy unless you put them down.

10/10 Gatatog Troops

Reward: 20,000 exp, 1 M-11 Wraith, 15,000 Credits, friendly with Clan Urdnot, no longer an enemy of Clan Gatatog.

They did not last as long as I wanted.

5:30

5:29

And it's still heading toward us!? Love me tenderly~.

"Heads up!" Shepard warned as a Tomkah headed our way. Dodging to the left, the Tomkah came to a stop with the Shaman popping out.

"How did you get down here? You're supposed to-"

"We need to go!" I cut him off, "Big Thresher Maw! Too big!"

"Wha-" A tremor knocked us to the ground and shook the entire tunnel system. "Kalros~," the Shaman muttered, "Let this be a lesson Grunt, survival sometimes means getting the void out of danger! In, all of you!" he ordered. "Turn this thing around!" he ordered the driver. I don't know who pays this driver, but feck me this man needs a pay raise, he drifted a tank to get us facing the correct way and gunned it.

Unfortunately~.

00:03

00:02

00:01

The earth exploded behind us, bringing us face to giant eye with Kalros.

"Got to go faster! Got to go faster!" I yelled to the driver.

"SHUT UP! Someone get on those guns!" the driver roared.

"Nick! Magic this thing to go faster! Grunt with me!" Shepard ordered.

"Love me tenderly~," I muttered

I started adding runes for durability, speed, power, and weight. "We need more power!" Shepard roared shooting into Kalros's mouth.

"Come on~," I muttered.

Do you wish to enhance tomkah to your preferred vehicle level?

Cost: 2 mini-arc reactors, 20 steel ingots, Rune work (expert rank), and 800MP

YES!

The Tomkah began to light up and morph around us, "WHAT THE VOID ARE YOU DOING!?" the driver screamed back at me. The Tomkah finished forming, I didn't know what it looked like outside but the inside looked just like my train chair.

"MOVE!" I shoved the driver out of his seat. "HOLD ON!" I pushed it to the max. We came out of the tunnel into a huge silo filled with thousands of tunnels with roads leading back and forth to places unknown and seemed to stretch deep under the earth. "Where are we going!?"

"DOWN!" the shaman ordered, pointing to a red-painted tunnel below the road we were on, there was a ramp that was meant for us to take but it looked like something you needed to cross at a slow rate.

Slamming the flight button, the tomkah lifted off the ground, and I plunged over the edge, much to everyone's shock.

The Tomkah was bigger than one of my warthogs and handled like a drunk rhino but I'll be damned if it didn't give its best as the stabilizers and boosters engaged, allowing me to juke left and right past roads and the poison darts the size of a bus and road debris that Kalros destroyed chased us down the silo.

"HOLD ON!" I roared, pulling hard on the wheel, causing the tomkah to stall turn straight up. Holy shit! Kalros was huge! It really was a moving mountain!

"DODGE DODGE DODGE!" the Shaman screamed.

"I SEE IT!" I roared back, dodging one of its massive mouth tentacles as it flew past us. I could hear the gunfire going off as Shepard and Grunt gave it hell.

"THERE!" The Driver pointed out the red-painted tunnel, juking hard to the right we flew at top speed through the tunnel, my danger sense was going wild at the speed I was going and how close the walls were. A huge crash and dust cloud came behind us as we race down the tunnel.

Quest completed: Munch munch munch! Kalros has heard your dinner bell and is heading your way! Escape or defeat Kalros!

Escape reward: 100,000 EXP, neutral with the Krogan race, one gold loot box

I slowed us down to a safe speed, the tomkah was quiet, our ragged breathing being the only noise we heard, and my hands were still holding the wheel in a death grip.

"Please tell me someone got that on camera~," I gasped.

"RAAAAAR!" Grunt cheered, "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Maker blessed, we're alive~," Shepard muttered. "That was some crazy flying Nick~. Joker might have a little competition~."

I gave the driver back the wheel and wobbled my ass to a seat in the back, the shaman seating next to me. "Wrex was right, you aliens are crazy~." The Shaman laughed.

-/-

It took another 2 hours to get back to the Urdnot camp, where we were greeted like returning heroes, apparently, there were cameras in the tunnels. Grunt was given the clan's name of Urdnot, making him an adult.

Krogan ancestral guardian

Urdnot Grunt

Lvl: 32

Age: 3 weeks

HP 750/750

MP 150/150

CP 50/50

Grunt is a genetically engineered krogan super soldier. Bred and educated in a tank, he was intended to exemplify the best traits of the krogan and help reinvigorate his species. He has found his purpose as a Krogan of Clan Urdnot, 'help raise the Krogan people to their former glory'.

He became an Ancestral Guardian during his rite of passage getting help from the ancient warriors of Clan Urdnot. He is an apprentice of Nick Walters.

He respects you and considers you his krantt.

We of course had a party, killing a thresher maw was always celebrated, but escaping Kalros was another thing entirely. I had to make enough food to feed another army but that didn't stop me from test to see if my magic food could fight back the genophage. The results varied, for some older krogan nothing happened, and the MP required to cure their disease stayed the same, but for the younger Krogan the cost was cut by at least 300 MP. I could only conclude that the younger generation was already better at fighting the disease, Mordin was right, the krogan people were outbreeding the genophage, I wonder if Clan Urdnot was affected by Mordin's modification yet.

The Party went deep into the night, I was even seen as a hero after I summoned a barrel of Maraas-Lok and whiskey, poor Shepard~, he took a shot of Maraas-Lok and started choking getting every Krogan to laugh and pat him on the back, he was going be sure as hell tomorrow~. The party finally came to an end with more than a dozen krogan knocked out, and another four-dozen singing drunk on the floor, Sereda leading the broken chorus. I left the krogan to their singing and took my dwarf to sleep off the alcohol in my magic tent.

What a night~.

The morning was another story.

You have slept in your bed

HP, MP, and CP are at max

All ailments cured

"I'm ready for the day!" Sereda cheered jumping out of bed. I love this woman, but why did she have to be a morning person.

"That's nice sweety~, come back to bed~," I muttered, blindly reaching out for her.

She flung the blanket off me and jumped on my hips. "Come on you lazy wizard~," she began rubbing against me, very slowly, "We need to take a shower~, and talk to Wrex, and you know Jak is gonna want to see the place and she can't do it from space~," she teased.

My hands snapped to her hips stopping her in place, looking up at her she had the smirking face of a spoiled princess who got whatever she wanted, that look drove me and Nat fuming with barely controlled rage, who is this dwarf to think she is better than me~, I who have fought monsters and demons every other day, my hands traveled down and gripped her plump ass, I'll bring her down to size. I lifted her and dragged her into the shower, hearing her melodic giggling all the way. Every one of my ladies knew how to play me~.

-/-

Tali POV

"Whose tent is this?" I asked Shepard, he was half awake and still somehow tipsy lying on the floor.

"Forgive me Maker for I have sinned~," he groaned. Oof~, that alcohol Nick brought really hit hard. I gave Shepard a heavy once over, checking every single piece of cybernetics Cerberus shoved into him. I didn't find anything that seemed like a bomb or a mind control chip, but what I did find just enhanced his body to peak condition. I'm not sure about his 'holy energy' but he was okay otherwise.

"This is Walter's tent." Mordin answered, "Doesn't like camping, too many creatures on the floor, most likely magic." he circled the tent trying to understand what he was looking at.

"Do we knock?" Garrus asked. Suddenly Dogmeat's head popped out of the drapes, looking right at us.

"Bark!"

"UGH~, Please~, no, shhh~," Shepard begged.

"What up boy? We got guest~?" Nick's voice came from the tent.

"Ah, oh, uh," my mouth became very dry, as a very shirtless Nick opened the tent's drapes. He had one of those towel hats to dry his hair.

"Oh no~, are all of you also early risers~" he whined.

"Not wise to make yourself easy targets in Krogan land," Mordin answered.

"I guess... Shepard what are you doing on the floor?" Nick asked.

"Dying~," he moaned.

Nick sighed, "Alright, I want to see if you could figure out some of your powers on your own, but I see you've been reluctant, you will be joining Grunt and me for morning practice, I'll get Ava and Sereda to teach you the ropes."

"Please~, put me out of my misery~," Shepard whined.

"So dramatic, you should have been an actor~," Nick rolled his eyes, "here drink this~." he passed Shepard a glass bottle filled with a red drink.

"No please, I never wanna drink again,"

"It's a cure-all potion, meant to, well... cure all your ailments," Nick shrugged, "We're a simple people."

Shepard slowly sipped at it, blinking at the taste, before chugging it down like a dying man in a desert. "Whoa~!" he jumped to his feet, "Magic is amazing!"

"Hold on? That potion could cure every disease?" I asked. The migrant fleet would kill for it.

"Yep~, well, maybe. The multiverse is a big place, I've found some diseases that hold on rather stubbornly, but the first ones are always free~, for some reason, people think they'll never get sick again, that's how I get them~," he teased leading us into his tent.

Whoa~, Nick's tent was incredible, it could easily fit 20 to 30 families in here, the temperature was cool compared to the outside, and it even had hardwood floors!

"You uh, don't do camping huh?" Garrus muttered looking around in awe.

"Garrus~, have you ever had a spider, crawl on your face before?" oh Keelah~, I was shivering at the thought, "I have Garrus. Never again. The tent comes with a rune that kills any varmint that gets too close, it even kills any fleas Dogmeat has. So, what do you want for breakfast?" he asked, walking into his kitchen. Does this tent have everything!?

"You got Dextro food?" Garrus asked.

"No, but I do have a portal that connects to the one in my room on the ship," Nick pointed to the wall where a large mirror was mounted. "If you want, I could get you to the ship."

"mmm~, tempting but we have work to do first, I might use it to skip the shuttle back. Avoid being chased by thresher maw," Garrus muttered.

"You're missing out, nothing but heart-pounding action, with a side of certain death," Nick teased, working on the food. "And you Tali?"

"uh?"

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Oh! I, uh, can only eat Dextro food, like Garrus, anything a human might eat can make me sick," I rubbed the back of my head, it felt weird explaining it again.

"Mmm~, I really should run more tests on you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I pardon you," what? "When I said I cured your immune system, I meant I changed it to the only one I knew... mine, and, as I can eat just about everything in the multiverse, you should be able to eat anything in the multiverse~. I should get in contact with Captain Fin, he should know all this," he muttered.

"Hold on. I ate plenty of Dextro food yesterday," I pointed out.

"Yeah~, so did I," he shrugged nonchalantly, "You shouldn't compare me to the humans of this reality, where I come from Dextro amino proteins aren't life-threatening. I think my magic helps break down nutrients so my body can absorb them correctly. Mordin we might need to run some tests." Mordin just nodded typing away at his omni-tool.

"But I don't have magic," I pointed out. Nick pointed to the golem, masquerading as my bracer.

"I thought Julee told you about the golem's purpose?" I just shook my head, "Right~, the golem acts as your temporary mana core, it is, as we speak, holding your mana and increasing your body's ability to store more, as you work out your core by doing magic, the golem will become more of a focus until you no longer need it, I would still suggest you keep it close, a fireball to the face tends to make anyone second guess messing with you." he teased, passing me a slab of meat on a plate, I may not like my mask, but I missed it giving me descriptions of things.

"Is that meat I smell?" Sereda called out from one of the rooms, coming out wearing a similar towel hat as Nick's and normal clothes. "I told you we wasted too much time in the shower. And put on a shirt~."

"Nonsense~, Shepard couldn't even walk, shoot, Grunt's still missing~. We had all the time in the world~," Nick smirked at her, passing her some 'pancakes' and 'milk'.

"I'm here!" Grunt rushed into the tent, breathing heavily.

"And where have you been young man~," Nick huffed like Auntie Raan when I forget the time.

"I've been dodging mating requests from a bunch of females," he huffed taking his own meat steaks and eating them without hesitation.

"That's my man~, make them work for it," Nick joked. Sereda rolled her eyes.

"You probably shouldn't go out there, after seeing you transform the Tomkah and kill krogan with your bare fist they've taken a liking to you," Grunt pointed out, "That goes for you too Shepard," causing Shepard to choke on his food.

Nick just laughed, "Well, I'm flattered, but I'm not ready to be a father~… at least I don't think so. Sereda~."

"Don't even think about it mister," she pointed her fork at him, "Jak has it all lined up. 150 years from now, Jak Walters the second will be born. Then it's a free for all, so~, get ready for that."

Nick just laughed, "I'll make sure the baby's room is ready. So~, what are we going to do today."

"I need to teach Wrex some simple Paladin skills," Sereda answered,

"I need to ask Wrex if he's seen Mordin's student," Shepard answered.

"Mmm~, seems like we're going the same way, I need to get Wrex's permission to fix this place, I wasn't joking about adding a waterfall. Maybe see if I can get clearance to cure the Krogan women of the genophage," Nick sighed.

"Is that wise? Krogan... violent to outsiders," Mordin pointed out.

Nick huffed, "The reapers aren't going to wait around for us to get our shit together~, we need to take the first steps to unite, or at the very least make some alliances. Say what you will about the krogan, but they have experience saving the Galaxy. If the 'council' get upset, they can kiss my ass. Shepard brought them proof of eldritch abominations, that are coming here right now to kill everyone, time and time again, and what did they do? They buried it, shoved their heads up their ass, and hoped Shepard's just crazy. But he's not, is he~. No, if this galaxy wants to survive, the council is a waste of time, we need to work around them, the Krogan is a good start, and so are the Quarians," that got my attention, "people not under the council's thumb."

"My people aren't exactly fighters," I pointed out.

"Not yet~," he countered, "But when, not if, the Reapers get here, everyone will become a fighter."

"Like a Blight," Sereda muttered. I don't know what a Blight was but it didn't sound good.

"So, after we're done with the collectors, you'll join the alliance?" Shepard asked.

"The only uniform I've ever worn was a naked apron~," what kind of uniform is that!? I took a quick glance at his body... I mean there could be worse uniforms~. "But I'm probably going to help upgrade some of Earth's defenses, you saw that patch job I did on Horizon, imagine if I got some real time to work on that~. I can tell you that the melting problem wouldn't have happened and it would have fired more than three shots."

"You seemed annoyed at the GUARDIAN laser for taking down a collector ship," I pointed out.

He looked me straight in the eyes, "I don't like it when the things I create only work once. That's a failed experiment." Wow, his eyes were intense.

"Is that why you've been asking me how the Normandy's guns work?" Garrus asked.

"Yep~, with a better understanding of this universe's weapons, the better I can enhance them. Horizon was pure guesswork, with me just adding arc reactors and power runes. I'm still a bit worried about here that first shot ended up at~, that thing punched clean through the collector ship and flew off into space, that thing is going to ruin someone's day," Nick huffed.

"I'm sure it'll be fine~, the collector ship probably slowed it down just enough to keep it in Horizon's orbit," Shepard shrugged. That man sure is too easygoing sometimes. "I'll send Anderson a message about you working as a contractor."

"Thanks, I feel like a good word now will smooth things out in the future," Nick smirked. "Tali, I would suggest you eat, I'll be here if something happens. We have a long day ahead of us~." I looked down at my steak.

It was one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted.

-/-

A/N: alright another chapter down. Wanted to get to Tuchanka and get Tali aboard. I know I made Grunt's loyalty mission a bit different but I wanted to play with Tuchanka a bit, all we get to see in the 2nd game was like 3 places, I also wanted to expand on what the Urdnot Camp looked like, I felt like it could have been made bigger, I don't know. They talk about a deep underground city in some books but we never get to see it.

Anyways, sorry about the grammar, I'm only human

Leave a review if ya wanna

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Chapter Text

I don't own anything but my on OCs

Ch. 4

Loyal to a fault

-/-

Nick POV

"Alright, Alright! Get off me you little gremlins!" I yelled, trying to shake off the dozen Krogan children climbing all over me.

"Admit defeat you Xeno scum! My honor demands it!" a little krogan girl roared in her squeaky voice, lying down a fierce combo on my left leg.

"Kids! leave that man alone," Gorda's mother yelled.

"Never! I invoke the Rite of First! Nothing will stop me from tearing this human apart with my bare hands!" she squeaked.

"... so, I just have to defeat you?" I asked.

"FOOL HUMAN! I am Gorda, the future ruler of Tuchanka! The universe will tremble at my name- oof~," she huffed as I dropped a bag on her chest, "YOU DARE INTERRUPT MY COOL INTRO WITH... what is this?"

"CANDY!" I loudly answered, getting all her brothers to zero in on her, before jumping off me and swarming her.

"AHH~! YOU IDIOTS! CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S USING YOU!?"

"And just like that, Nick Walters wins again~," I created the illusion of a cheering crowd.

"Nick, are you finished playing with the kids?" Ayla asked, smirking over at me.

At the moment, Ava, Sereda, Jak, Ayla, Wrex, Grunt, and I were visiting the female camp. Well, Ava, Sereda, Ayla, and I, were visiting the Female camp, the second Wrex stepped into the camp he was carried away by a mob of women, Grunt was going through the Rite of Honor, which was just getting a medical test, making sure he didn't have any diseases that may harm the females. I didn't know what part was honorable about being told you have an STD, but I'm not krogan, so, what do I know. And Jak was asking the head shaman a billion questions.

"Is Wrex back?" I asked.

"I will destroy you!" Gorda roared from the floor," GAK! TAGG GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY MOUTH!" I drop another bag of candy on her lap, "You have made a very powerful enemy today, NICK WALTERS!"

"Oh yeah~, that's arch nemesis anger~," I smirked at Ayla who just rolled her eyes.

"You 'would' be happy gaining an arch nemesis~," she drawled.

"Of course~," I pointed down at Gorda, "At the moment I'm far too powerful, but as she grows through her journey to be the best, we will meet again and fight over an active volcano. I of course will have her love interest tide up in the background."

"And where would we be in all this?" Ayla huffed, hands on her hips.

"Furious at me, most likely, that volcano is going to be expensive~, so I'm going to need you ladies to keep Telsa from strangling me," I joked.

"Can't you just use a waterfall~," Ava asked, "less chance of lava splatter."

"I could, but it wouldn't be as dramatic~," I countered.

"True, but there is a 100% chance Lady Telsa will use you as a human sacrifice to recover her money. At least with water, you might be able to swim to safety," Sereda teased.

"I'm back~," Grunt huffed.

"How was the Rite?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Good, I guess. They didn't find anything wrong and I was cleared for mating."

"FREEDOM!" Gorda escaped her siblings, "PREPARE FOR- eep!" she jumped back as she spotted Grunt. She dropped her gaze to her toes and started playing with her fingers.

"ho ho ho~, what do we have here~," I giggled, "the mighty Gorda, backing away~?"

"S-SH-SHUT UP!" oh my gosh~, she looked so adorable~, "I'll get you next time!" she gave Grunt a quick look before running away.

"My heart~," Sereda swooned.

"What's her deal?" Grunt asked.

I patted him on the shoulder, "I'll tell you when you're older. Have you seen Wrex?"

"I'm here! I'm here! Hold your thresher maw," Wrex came rushing over adjusting his armor. "Ladies can't get enough of me~."

"It's the hammer~, it adds... weight~," I pointed to 'Hope' Wrex's holy symbol strapped to his lower back. At the moment it was the size of a normal hammer but at full size it reached Wrex's 8-foot frame.

"... are you calling me fat?" he deadpanned.

"Girthy~," I corrected. "So, are the females ready? I'm not sure when Shepard's going to return from his mission with Mordin, so I need to start testing and fixing this place up." I'm not going to lie, the female camp was beautiful, it had trees, a river running through it, mud huts, and enough guards to keep idiots from doing anything stupid, but I saw a lot of flaws, the river's security grate was rusty, contaminating the water, a wall made of scrap metal, and the sun didn't hold back in roasting this place, I could see the desertification already eating at the edges of the camp and effecting the crops.

"This way." He grunted, walking past some krogans that bowed in respect, the children couldn't care less who he was but were in awe of his huge size, some even bragged saying the Wrex was their father. Reaching a large hut, I could hear the muttering from the inside. Wrex stopped me at the entrance, "How sure are you that you can cure the Genophage?"

"100%, I just want to test my potions first, if they work, I could just leave you with a crate."

"And if they don't?" he asked.

I sighed, "Then I cure as many as I can, and try something new, one of my greatest fears is that Tuchanka itself will reverse my cure. I'm not sure how the council infected every krogan at once, but I fear that the disease is still in the air, in the water, or in the food. Or maybe my fears are pointless~, maybe I cure the females and everything works out."

"Life has never been that easy," Wrex huffed.

"No, it's not, but we have hope~," I tried to lift the mood.

He patted his hammer, "Hope."

The meeting room was filled with over 250 females, most were infertile and hoping I could do something, which I could, strangely, infertility wasn't attached to the genophage, but it was a symptom of the disease. The genophage put a lot of stress on the body, whatever Salarian created it was playing with a very thin line.

"So?" Wrex asked, standing over me after an hour of testing.

"Good news and bad news, what do you want first?" I sighed leaning back on my makeshift chair.

"Bad."

"The cure-all potion couldn't cure the genophage," I answered.

"Damnit~," he gave a growl that vibrated my bones. "And the good news."

"The potion cured the female's Infertility, any that couldn't give birth before can now, not to the same as if they were cured but... enough," before it was 1 out of a thousand, but now it was more like 1 in 100, which was amazing, "and~, the genophage in their system has taken a hit~, it could give any of their children a better chance at withstanding the genophage, if we're lucky it would only take one or two generations before the genophage is overcame, but all this works if the genophage isn't still in the air, our best hope is that if Tuchanka is infected, we could cure a female off planet, synthesizing a cure, and then spreading it throughout the Krogan people. I just don't think we have that amount of time before the reapers are munching on our fine glutes~," I groaned, standing to my full height and stretching my back, "I feel like I'm just slapping a band-aid on a gaping wound. I'll cure the females here, add some healing runes to the buildings, and pay Ava, Sereda, and Ayla to start creating a holy field around the camp, you should join them, all Paladins and Clerics have the ability to instill holy energy into a location for ceremonial purposes. I'll drop off a crate of Cure-all potions with the head shaman and then get started on fixing this place up." I sighed, Curing the females shouldn't take too long.

Wrex grabbed me by the shoulders making sure I was looking right at him, "Thank you."

I laughed, "You're probably going to regret saying that soon," he gave me a confused look, "Wrex, from what I understand, you are the apex of male kroganhood correct?" he gave a small huff of pride. "right~," I passed him an ice bag, "Be strong, and remember sometimes it's okay to just... lay back and think of Tuchanka~."

The look he gave me was priceless~.

-/-

Shepard POV

"Mordin... are you going to try and kill Nick?" Mordin's mission was a cluster. Getting to clan Weyrloc took us a day, even with Urdnot's new flying Tomkah, with Kalros being sighted any outgoing vehicle had to take a long way around, trying to avoid any form of contact with the beast, and accidentally lead it back to their camp. The moment we got here we were met with a flood of bullets and insults, which admittedly was a normal Krogan hello, and had to fight our way through a horde of bloodthirsty krogan, Varren, and Vorcha for some reason, saved a broken Urdnot scout, killed more krogan, viewing the monstrous experiments of a mad scientist, killing more krogan, and finally finding Maelon, only to find out that he wasn't kidnapped, and was trying to cure the genophage. This place is going to give me nightmares. At least we kept the data and Mordin didn't kill his student, even if I really wanted to.

"No. All predicted outcomes of the krogan resurgence ended in war, but no Reapers were added to the parameters... Krogan, most likely the best hope to fight back the coming threat." he took a deep breath, "I do not regret making the modification, it was the best for the galaxy at the time, and saved many lives... but saw what females would go through for hope, I'll think on it, have cure, work on it during some breaks," he shrugged.

"Mordin... I doubt I could judge you correctly, the krogan people haven't exactly proven that they could be trusted, but they have also been shoved in a corner, whipped to fight like slaves, neutered, and then stereotyped to hell and back to make them look like monsters, at this point, survival is their only goal, and nothing is off the table. I just feel like there could have been some middle ground, but no one cared to take the first step." I let out a long sigh.

"What's that?" Tali asked looking away from the magic engine and out of the front of the tomkah as we flew toward the Urdnot camp. Looking out the driver's holo-screen a huge shimmering dome was surrounding the camp.

"Nick?" Garrus asked.

"Nick," I answered, "That's a big gun~," I pointed out a brand new AA gun watching the sky.

"We've only been gone for two and a half days~," Zaeed muttered. "Hey look at that! Krogan farmers. I didn't think that was possible," he pointed out dozens of Krogan in what seemed like a field on a tractor plowing the earth, they even had those big straw hats. I couldn't tell but they looked like shaman.

"Bumble bee this is Camp Korbal, do you read?" the tomkah's comms came to life.

The krogan looked all kinds of shocked, "Uh~, this is Bumble bee, I read you."

"Head to Hanger Bay 1," they ordered before a dotted line flashed on the screen leading us straight to our landing Bay.

"Whoa~," was the only thing I could say as we lowered down the silo, everything was fixed, nothing was crumbling to dust, the rust was removed, and lights lit the halls. Finally landing, we got a good look at the dozen or so brand new-looking Tomkahs, with engineers moving brand-new equipment around the room in forklifts. Even the floors were painted!

"Tali!" Julee waved us over.

"Oh~, so this is what it feels like to be a sidekick~," I joked.

Tali elbowed me, "Who are you calling a sidekick?" walking over to Julee. "Julia! What's going on? I'm pretty sure this place didn't look like this before."

"You can call me Julee silly, and as for what happened," she let out a sigh, "Nick happened. He always tends to go a bit overboard, you've seen the bathroom on the Normandy~."

"The sauna 'is' a bit much~," Tali muttered.

"You guys have a sauna?" Garrus asked. He looked over to me, "Why don't we have a sauna?"

"Are you going to use the sauna?" I asked.

"That's not the point Shepard, it's the principal of the matter, things should be equal," he huffed.

"Don't you have your own fridge?" I asked.

"... I retract my statement."

"Come on, I'll show you around~." Julee led us into the camp proper.

It was beautiful, Nick wasn't lying about the waterfall idea either, there weren't plants that made this place feel like a tropical rainforest but there were some small plants growing in designated flowerpots. Everything was well illuminated, shops lined the first two floors with clan symbols over the doorways, Krogan walking the streets, buying things or just looking up in awe, there was even a line for the waterfall just so they could get drenched. Walking past a shop I spotted something that got my full attention.

"Is that a Wrex action figure?" I asked, pressing my face to the pristine glass window.

Garrus was immediately by my side, "Where!? By the Spirits!" It was a miniature Wrex holding his holy hammer.

"What are you idiots doing?" Tali asked, walking over.

"I saved the galaxy? Why don't I have an action figure?" I asked. I let out a small gasp, "Is that a Normandy-SR2 ship model!? I didn't know that even existed!? … I need to get one!" I rushed for the door only for Tali to pull me back by the ear. "OW! Tali!?"

"You don't need it," she stared me down.

"Good god Shepard, aren't you a full-grown man?" Zaeed huffed.

"Hey look! there's a Zaeed action figure," Garrus pointed out.

"What!? Move over, let me see!" He joined us by the window. "What the hell!? What's 'real laser eye action'!?"

"Tali you're also in here," Garrus pointed out. "I think the whole ground crew is in here. Whose shop is this?" Looking over the door we found Clan Urdnot's symbol in all its might.

"I see you found Nick's little toy collection~," Julee giggled.

"Toy collection?" Tali asked.

Julee shrugged, "After he returned from the female camp, he talked about how few toys the children had, so he went a little wild creating a bunch, you're looking at the leftovers. He thought that this being a meeting spot for the krogan that came from the other clans they were willing to buy them for their own children."

"And people buy them?" Tali asked.

"Oh yeah~, everyone loves Battlemaster Wrex and his sidekicks," she nodded.

"Sidekicks!?" Garrus gawked.

"Oh yeah~, Nick and Wrex even made a 24-episode cartoon series, all about Wrex's adventures when he was younger and how he saved Shepard from Saren's assassins and taught Shep how to be a real warrior as you guys hunted the rogue spectre." I'm pretty sure my brain was about to explode, "Didn't you get the link Wrex sent you?"

I immediately opened my Omni tool, "I was busy being shot at!" and there it was~. The animation was well done, and the intro was cool, with Wrex fighting Geth, husks, and Saren with sovereign overhead, even my character was spot on, it even sounded like me!

"This has to be illegal~, and why do I come off as a complete asshole!?" Garrus huffed.

"I mean, you weren't the most open-minded guy back then," Tali answered. "We're getting paid for this right? I'll sue."

"Did you sue the council when they made 'Commander Shepard the Musical'?" she asked.

"THE WHAT MUSICAL!?" I asked, very loudly. I looked over to Garrus who was looking at the ceiling, then over to Tali, who was looking at her toes. "Did my mother allow this?" no one said anything, "I need to make some calls." Anderson better not know anything about this.

"Don't worry~," Julee interrupted my plans for revenge, "Nick said he'll give you royalties... of 2%"

"2%!?" Garrus gawked. "20!"

"2 and a half, we both know there is no court in the land that Nick would listen to," Julee countered.

"10." Garrus counters

"3, take it or leave it,"

"... Deal." They sealed the deal with a handshake.

"I want a series that tells the truth," I huffed. "Wrex didn't save me by slapping a rocket out of the air."

"Wrex said if anyone has any complaints to put it up on the extranet so he can ignore it personally," she shrugged.

I'm going to leave such a nasty review. "Where's Nick?"

"Top floor, he and Wrex are working with the elder shaman to enhance the holy quarters. Come on~, to the top floor~," Julee cheered leading us away.

I gave a quick looked back to the model ships. "I'll be back."

"You know~, this thing is pretty cool~," Zaeed spoke up, holding his own action figure, flipping a switch on the back of its head that activated the laser in the toy's eye.

My action figure better be just as cool.

The rest of the Camp was just as beautiful as the ground floor, I'm just happy the escalator was working. We lost Zaeed on the second floor after he spotted a gun shop.

"How did Walters do all this?" Garrus asked. "And don't say magic."

Julee gave a giggle, "A miracle?" she shrugged. "In all honesty, Nick tends to have every utility spell that might exist, one of those spells is called Reparo, I'll give you a single guess on what that does~. All Nick has to do is cast the spell and add enough magic and boom, fixed~."

"What if it's too destroyed? Or missing pieces?" Tali asked.

"Then he uses his Construction spell, as long as he knows how the object is created and has the materials, he can remake it, he's gotten to the point where he can substitute some materials," Julee explained.

"That sounds incredibly useful," Tali muttered, "Can he teach me to do that?"

"Mmm~, maybe. You need to understand that Magic isn't so simple, and that Nick is... special. Any normal person would take years to learn a spell to the same mastery Nick has right now, but do you know how long it took for Nick to get to this level? Less than a year," She stage whispered. "He even has a natural skill to learn and teach others faster than most people."

"So~, he's a prodigy?" Tali asked.

"No, Dagna's a prodigy. Normally Dwarves of Thedas can't use magic, but the moment Nick gave her a golem she was casting spells and creating runes on the first day. Nick is... special~," she swooned, "But don't tell him I said it like that, I love the man, but he tends to get a big head from time to time. And trust me after this," she waves her hands at the krogan camp, "You better believe he's going to be walking around like a prized peacock~, but I do like it when he swings his shoulders when he walks." she sighed again and looked out to the camp with a look that screamed 'inappropriate'.

"Julee?" Tali shook her slightly.

"Huh? Wha? What were we talking about?"

"If Nick can teach me magic~," Tali drawled.

"Oh, right. Now would be a good time, Nick is feeling generous, but I should warn you, Nick doesn't hold back when he teaches his students," Julee warned.

"He does tend to go pretty hard on Rupert," I pointed out, I saw him standing over Gardner's shoulder criticizing every little mistake the man-made. He was only boiling water for Maker's sake!

"Oh no~, that was cooking, Nick takes his cooking lesson to the extreme, to him learning Magic is more likely to get yourself hurt, and cooking affects those around you. one of the first things you're going to have to do is grow your mana core, and that usually involves some rather... strange methods, but they work, and you gain God-level flexibility." Julee smiled, that smile made me worry about Tali's chastity. I looked over to Garrus who was looking over to me, yeah, we're going to need to warn Tali. "And we're here!" She gave the guard a nod with her return, letting us through. Was his armor... shinier?

The top floor was somehow more prestigious and luxurious than the rest of the pyramid, the floor was hardwood, with painted Krogan statues, Clan banners, and beautiful tapestries that told krogan stories, walking through the sky bridge the window showed an illusion of what Tuchanka could be, a beautiful forest world filled with other metal pyramids dotting the landscape with building surrounding them. It did look nice, a goal worth fighting for, at this moment we lost Mordin as he just looked out the window.

The meeting room was just as luxurious as the rest of the floor, it looked to be ripped out of the pages of the ancient story of King Arthur and his Knights of the round table. The walls were perfectly cut down granite, weapons, and heads of beasts were mounted on the walls, more tapestries that told more stories, and Wrex's throne wasn't just slabs of broken debris, it was a proper throne, made of skulls, bones, stone, leather, and had some kind of light fixture that gave it an almost legendary feel to it.

Looking up at the second floor we spotted Nick, Wrex, Ava, Ayla, Sereda, and the elder shaman pointing and arguing.

"I'm telling you that lime green wouldn't match the orange, we have a theme going!" We heard Nick yell as we walked up the stairs.

"That's the point! We want it to stand out!" the elder yelled back.

"SHEPARD! Thank Kalros, can you tell these idiots to just pick a color," Wrex huffed.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU OLD MAN!" Nick roared being held back by Sereda, he was sporting a black eye.

"YOU COULDN'T DESTROY WET TISSUE PAPER!" The elder roared as his shaman brothers held him back, also sporting a black eye.

"What are they fighting about?" I asked.

"What color of the stone under Vaul's statue should be. He pointed to a statue of what I could only describe being a Krogan God made of stars. Next to it were other statues, one of a blue stone in the shape of a heart, another of some sort of dear, and the last one that I just knew was for the Maker with the symbol of a sun. I even felt my power spike, beating back any sore muscles and tiredness I had from two days of roughing it in Tuchanka as I got close to it.

"Have you asked Vaul?" I asked.

"He doesn't care, he just wants his statue finished," Wrex grunted.

"Why don't we meet in the middle and go with yellow?" I asked the arguing men, who stopped their fighting and looked at me.

"Yellow~?" Nick hissed.

"You have no taste, your Krantt must be ashamed to be seen next to you," The elder sneered at me.

"Learn a little color theory Shepard before you go and embarrass yourself again," Nick sighed.

"Even a color-blind Varren could tell that would had been a poor choice," The elder added.

"I'M GOING TO KICK BOTH OF YOUR ASSES!" I roared; I was going to make good on my promise but Garrus held me back, what gave these assholes the right to look down on me!?

"YOU AND WHAT ARMY!?" Nick yelled back.

"Yeah, should have seen this coming~," Wrex muttered. "ENOUGH! You idiots!" He reached over, grabbed a blue tile, placed it on the ground, and moved the statue over the tile.

"YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE DAMN THING!" I roared.

"It's about the principle of the matter Shepard~," Nick sighed shaking his head at me.

"We will always know, who cares about everyone else, I thought you of all people would understand," the elder huffed.

I need a nap. "Wrex, is Nick finished? Can he leave with us?"

"Mmm, I guess, I did want him to upgrade the main Urdnot settlement, but I know your mission so I'm not going to stop you," He patted me on the shoulder, leading me out of the holy quarters, I'm pretty sure he was just using me to escape the room, as Nick and the elder went back to making some tapestry, "So, how do you like the camp? Walters went a little crazy halfway through."

"Looks great, it gives me a small glimpse of what Tuchanka may have looked like," I nodded.

"HA! If you think this was impressive, you should see the female camp! Nick, spared no expense, huge thick stone walls, purifying water pump, thousands of his little golems, he even healed the earth, we're growing Korkro and potatoes."

"Potatoes? Is it okay to grow a human crop on tuchanka? Won't that mess with the local flora?" The alliance has an entire department to make sure nothing grows where it shouldn't.

"Look around Shepard, do you see any farmland? Do you see any plants at all? Any fruits and vegetables we have are brought from off-world at a steep price. The idea that we could grow our own food... let's just say that there was a lot of fighting for the honor to be the first farmer in over a thousand years."

"Well, whatever floats your boat, but this does look rather expensive~," seriously it must have cost a fortune.

"You'd be surprised, Nick only wanted one thing. When the reapers come, we would pick up the phone when you come calling. It was an easy deal." he patted me on the back, "We have a long way ahead of us, don't we?"

"... yeah, but at least you know what to do, half the time I'm just jumping from one battle to another. I feel like I'm trying to put out a forest fire with a bucket of water," I sighed.

"Then worry not, 'cause I'll be standing next to you with my own bucket," he huffed standing tall.

"And me," Garrus nudged me.

"Make that four," Tali brought up the rear.

"Thanks," my heart didn't feel as heavy, "... So about this Battlemaster Wrex nonsense~."

"HAHA! You like it! Walters had some crazy Omnitool that work through thought, it took us like 3 hours to make it just right, I tried not to go into too much detail, but the kids loved it!" Wrex cheered.

"Why the hell am I a sidekick!? I should be the main character, I had to make all the heavy decisions! I pressed all the buttons! I had to buy all the damn equipment! I became the spectre! I'm clearly the main character!" I huffed.

"Uh, think again Shepard~," Tali interrupted me, "innocent Quarian new to the galaxy on her pilgrimage to prove herself, collected data that proves Saren was a traitor, dodge assassins, has to deal with the seedy underbelly of the citadel, Saving you from assassins, exposing a traitor, having to teach you Bosh'tets how to use an omni tool, saved the galaxy," she pointed her thumb at herself, "Main character, right here."

"What ship were you on!?" Garrus gawked, he pointed to himself, "Bad boy C-sec officer that never trusted Saren to begin with, save damsels in distress, master sharpshooter, saved Shepard and you, from assassins, fighting outside the law, proved Saren was a traitor, and taught Shepard everything he knows about weapons."

"What the!?" I was flabbergasted, "Did everyone 'save' me from assassins?"

The three exchanged looks, before nodding to each other, "Yeah pretty much~," Garrus answered.

"Maker be kind, you're all crazy."

"Look who's talking~," Tali tsked, "Mr. Oh-don't-worry-guys-I-totally-know-how-to-drive-this-Mako~. You drove us into the mouth of not just one thresher maw, but five!"

"I needed a clean shot!" I countered.

"I always thought you had some kind brain damage," Wrex huffed, "You acted like you never seen an alien before, asking a bunch of cultural questions, always had this blank look on your face, shit you also had the problem of asking the same question more than once. I wasn't sure if you were a master tactician or Saren was just an idiot."

"And then there were moments of amazing insight, never got lost, would find things behind crates, hacked a Nuke. I didn't know what to make of you," Garrus added.

"And your emotions were all over the place, I remember you talking that Bosh'tet Admiral down with logic and facts, and not 30 minutes later you punched a reporter. I hope you understand that every time I meet a new human, I'm ready to punch them in the throat," Tali huffed.

I rolled my eyes, "I have a method to my madness~."

"Which is?" Garrus asked.

"Always keep them guessing ~," I smirk.

"THAT'S NOT A METHOD!" Tali huffed, "That's called being crazy!"

"And it hasn't failed me yet~," I countered.

"You must be the luckiest human in the galaxy," Wrex huffed.

"What's that make us?" Garrus asked.

"Crazy by association," Tali sighed, "it might even be infectious."

"The crazy or the luck?" Wrex asked.

"I'll tell you after we beat the Reapers," she answered.

"So dramatic~," I huffed. "Now if you would be so kind as to excuse me, there are some model ships calling my name~."

-/-

EDI POV

I don't think I like spicy food. The pizza Gardner made was good, but the jalapenos seemed to attack my mouth. Jeff and I were eating in the Cockpit, but we shouldn't be, it's against the rules, the cockpit needed to be clean at all times to avoid food-related accidents, but Miranda was in the kitchen demanding some of the magical kitchen utensils that Nick created just for Gardner.

Sergeant Gardner warned Miranda that the utensils weren't allowed to be taken by anyone but himself. Operative Lawson took offense to Gardner's refusal, and according to Jeff, 'went full bitch', yelling at the staff sergeant before taking a wooden spoon and walking away, only for the spoon to unleash a powerful electric shock, that according to Jennifer, 'roasted the nipples off her tits'.

Finding the smell offending my nose, Jeff led me back up to the cockpit to finish our lunch. When I pointed out that eating at the pilot's chair was against regulations, Jeff laughed and told me to, 'live a little'. It was... interesting to break the rules, I kept looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was going to come to reprimand us, even though I had full access to the ship's cameras.

"Jeff, won't we get in trouble for breaking the rules?" I asked.

"Not if we eat the evidence," he smiled at me shoving more food into his mouth.

"But, we still broke the rules, will we not be punished," My new body has the ability to feel pain and after accidentally slamming my pinky toe walking out of the elevator, I fell on the floor begging for mercy for what felt like years, Jeff later told me it was less than a minute. I don't like pain.

"Some rules are just here because some people are idiots. Don't play with fire, don't talk with your mouthful, don't drop the soap~. Things you know are a bad idea, but someone out there doesn't have the brain cells to remember and needed it written down, ruining it for the rest of us," he explained. "But if it means anything, you're now a true rogue AI."

I look over at him, "Rogue?"

He smirked, "Yep~, you just broke your first rule, making you a bad girl~."

Bad girl? I accessed the Extranet, looking for the meaning. Getting images of young girls being scolded by their parents, women wearing leather jackets sitting on motorcycles with tattoos, it all ended with a video of a woman tied up to a bed as a male slapped her posterior, calling her a bad girl.

"EDI?" I snapped back to reality at Jeff's calling.

"I- yes Jeff?"

"Are you ok?" I looked at him, the male in the video morphed into Jeff for a second, "You blanked out on me."

"Uh, yes just thinking about..." I quickly looked at the room and spotted the Comm light blinking, "Who that can be!" I pointed to the comm light. Why did I lie? Why does my face feel so hot?

"Oh Maker~," he sighed.

"Jeff?"

"Shepard bought some model ships~," he groaned. Switching my vision to the shuttle bay, I found the ground crew returning... with what seemed like every model ship in the galaxy.

"That's... a lot," I muttered.

"Get ready EDI, if I didn't annoy you before, you're going to feel it now ~."

Oh my, that sounded ominous.

-/-

Nick POV

"You bought too many~," Garrus huffed, shoving some ships out of the way.

"Garrus, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard you say, and you once said you wanted to see the Normandy in a firefight," Shepard rolled his eyes, which was the only thing I could see thanks to all the boxes.

"I should have used rock~," Garrus moaned, Shepard needed help loading his treasure into the Kodiak and Garrus lost his rock-paper-scissor's match to Tali and was forced to help me and Shepard while the others took the portal back to the ship. When I suggested we use my portal, Shepard got defensive, something about not wanting them out of his sight.

"Shepard... what's with the ship obsession?" I asked.

"Mmm? Oh, it was something my father and I used to do. With both my parents being career Alliance, I had to jumped from ship to ship, but my old man thought I wouldn't gain any friends if I didn't have any roots, so he took an office job on Arcturus station, we would watch the ships going in and out of the station and buy a model ship once a week and make them together. I guess the hobby became a habit."

"You make it sound like your father is no longer with us," I pointed out.

"No, he passed some time ago, the batarian launched a surprise attack on one of our colonies in the Skyllian verge, by the name of Elysium. My first shore leave since I got into the military, pops wanted to celebrate and Elysium had one of the greatest resorts in alliance space, for cheap, that man was frugal, and didn't have a lot of money when he was young, pretty sure that's where I got my money sense~."

"Shepard... you bought Clan Urdnot a new tomkah~," I should know, I was the one that had to go find one out in the wastelands, fix it, and bring it back.

"Baa~, it's fine~. Anyways, the Batarians attacked, and me and pops ended up having to defend the colony from what seemed like every batarian in the terminus system. He ended up taking a shot for me."

"Sorry to hear that, he seemed like a good man," I apologized.

"It was some time ago, and I got my pound of flesh. What about you Nick any family?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, I guess? Maybe. The multiverse is a strange place Shepard, I... didn't really get to choose to travel. One minute I was minding my own business, and the next thing I knew, I was standing in an open field. I doubt I will ever see them again, but I have faith they can move on without me. I suppose that's all we can ever have." It feels weird thinking about them again after all this time, I guess nearly 3 years of living on and Gamer's mind made me compartmentalize what happened to me.

"I'm... sorry to hear that," Shepard replied.

"It's ok, time and an active life helped me move on and found a new family. And you Garrus? Any family?" I asked.

"Yeah, little sister, mother, and father, not on the best of terms with the old man, but we've been talking again, sister's still a brat who just finished her 5 years of military service, and my mother... Nick, you're a magic doctor right?"

"Mmm, I guess."

"Have you ever healed brain trauma before?"

"of course, Thedas still uses swords and shields, I learned quickly to cure any head wound. One of my first real tests using my Healing hands was for a nasty case of dementia, you know what that is?" I asked.

"Yes, I... did a lot of research, my mother has Corpalis Syndrome, it is a rare disease that causes severe neurological degeneration in Turians," he explained.

"You never told me any of this," Shepard spoke up.

"There wasn't much you could have done, she was already in special care with some of the finest Turian doctors I could afford, trust me mercs tend to have a lot of 'loose change', but if Nick could cure the genophage... I was hoping."

"Say no more~," I waved away his concerns, well I would have if I wasn't trapped behind a billion boxes. "I'll be happy to help, do you know where she is? We might need to book a ship."

"Don't be ridiculous, we can just fly there, we have a ship," Shepard spoke up.

"... thank you, both of you." I couldn't see Garrus but I was pretty sure he was crying.

"So, where are we going?" God, I wanted to see Palaven, you only ever get to see it from its moon.

"Palaven, back at my childhood home. She didn't want to be surrounded by doctors and white walls," he answered. Kick ass!

"Do we need to go anywhere after we bust out of our boxy prison?" I asked.

"First of all, we aren't 'busting' out of anything~," Shepard drawled, "We are sliding out of here the same way we slid in here. And secondly, no, we don't have anywhere to go, the dossiers on the assassin and justicar only told us that they were in Illium but were rather silent, apparently, they are both on the hunt and are lying low. We do need to head there eventually but we have time. Kasumi has a mission for me in about two weeks, and Zaeed is tracking down one of his jobs he needs help with, and the collectors have gone dead silent, losing one of their ships has made them cautious. So, taking a brief visit to Palaven wouldn't be out of the question, we might need some enviro-suits though, heard Palaven can get a bit... radioactive."

"Mmm, maybe we should stop at the citadel," Garrus suggested.

"You have arrived at your destination," the VI called out from the comms.

"Thank the spirits, one of your damn Models is poking my neck, and I can't get to it," Garrus cursed.

"What a baby~," Shepard joked, as the door slid open it caught one of his models making his precious collection spill into the shuttle bay, "NO! My collection!"

"Karma," Garrus teased.

"Shut up and help me!" Shepard ordered jumping out of the Kodiak.

-/-

After giving Shepard a hand moving his new collection to his room, which I had to expand, and added a larger desk for him to work on, he told Joker to head for the citadel.

"Nick!" Kasumi called out as Gardner and I were working on dinner, lasagna for the crew, some kind of dextro pig for Garrus and Tali, and Astral's and Sky's usual.

"What up girlfriend?" I replied checking the oven.

"I heard you made action figures for the ground crew?" she asked leaning on the counter.

"Mmm? Oh yeah, but don't worry," I summoned a Kasumi action figure, still in its box. "One of a kind, just for you." I passed it to her.

"Wha~, so cool~. It can even turn invisible!?" I placed a tiny invisibility rune that lasted 3 seconds before having to recharge. "And this is the only one in existence? "

"No, I have my own, that way the one you have is worth something. Also, I can't not have a full collection."

"Makes sense~, yeah do you have any spy skills?" she asked out of left field.

"Espionage? I have a few, but never really trained them, always been more of an 'in-your-face' type of fighter. Why? Need a ninja partner? Nat's pretty good." I pointed out, passing Engineer Gabby a basket of garlic bread for her table.

"Not for me~, see I need help teaching Shepard the ability to blend into high society."

"What kind of high society? Evil or just apathetic?" I asked.

"Evil."

"Nat was once part of the dwarven mob, but I do know an assassin and a spy, I'll give them a call, when do you need them?" I asked, taking out a tray of glowing magic lasagna from the oven and placing it on a cooling rack for Gardner to cut and serve.

"The sooner the better, I'm on a schedule."

"Mmm~. Yo Shepard!? How good is your seduction game!?" I called out to Shepard, who was painting one of his model ships.

"I can sweep a Hanar off their feet," he called back not looking up from his model. He was wearing some half-moon magnifying glasses, a painted white shirt, jeans, and slippers, with a brush in his mouth and little containers of paint everywhere. I'm certain he would have been up in his room if Garrus didn't drag him down here.

"Is that, good?" I asked Kasumi.

"Hanar float," she answered.

"Mmm, yeah~, I'll get Zev and Lily here as soon as I can, they'll whip him into shape," I joked.

"Thanks," she smirked before stealing a cookie, "Ah-oh-uh! Hot hot hot!" She ran off dancing with her treat.

Now all I needed to do was find two of my stealthiest friends, they better have their phones on them.

"Walters," a voice caught my attention.

"Yes~, Mary?" I asked looking up at Miranda's perm. "Nice hair~."

She sneered at me, "I've come to understand that you helped the Krogans."

"Yes~," I answered, passing Engineer Donnelly two cool cans of soda.

"Do you have any idea what you have done?" she growled

"Gained Shepard a possible ally when the reapers arrive to kill everyone?" I answered.

"You cured the genophage," she hissed. Getting some of the staff to look over.

"Yes~, and your point is~?" I drawled, taking another tray of lasagna out of the oven.

"The Krogan are vicious animals."

"And humans are horny apes~, I can make stereotypes too~."

"You can't trust the Krogan," she hissed

I started laughing uncontrollably, slapping the counter, pointing at her, I was having a tough time catching my breath, "Yo-ah, Yo Jenny! Did you hear that!? Mary thinks Cerberus is trustworthy!"

"HA, that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" She laughed with me.

After a whole 30 seconds of unbroken laughter, I gain some level of control, "I guess you're going to be the comedian of the group," I giggled wiping away a tear. "but in all seriousness, I trust Wrex and clan Urdnot because I trust Shepard, his word is made of pure gold, gods back him, Cerberus paid top cred to bring him back, people are jumping to join his side, literally, look around, none of these people are here for you, shit some of them aren't even here for Cerberus, they are here because Commander John 'save-my-ass' Shepard is here. So, if Shepard says Wrex is trustworthy, I wouldn't ask any more questions, I'll just help."

"Just like that?" she asked.

"Should there be more to it? Yo Shepard, should I help Cerberus?"

"Hell no," he answered, not looking up from his model.

"Well, there you have it," I huffed, passing her a plate of lasagna. "It's called trust, sure sometimes it doesn't work out and you get betrayed, and that sucks, but that doesn't mean you close yourself off. Humans can't live alone, it drives us crazy and paranoid, which then makes people avoid you, adding to your loneliness. Sometimes it's all about risk, roll them dice," I shrugged, "besides we both know TIM is just going to dump you for the latest model of super ass kisser the moment you say something he doesn't agree with. So, you might as well make friends," I teased.

She rolled her eyes, "I don't need friends."

"And yet you want trust, I don't trust strangers Mary," I smirked, passing Nat her nug nuggets.

"NICK!" Tali came running in with Dagna, Julee, and Lyna close behind.

"Yes~," there sure are a lot of people wanting my attention during lunch.

"We need Hyperspace matter," she asked drumming on the table like an annoyed customer, followed by her pit crew doing the same.

"Hyperspace matter? I thought you were still learning Galactic basic?" How smart is she?

"Oh! No, I just made a program that translated Galactic basic to English and then to Khelish, pish, you think I'm going to read a book when I can make the book read for me~," she rolled her eyes.

"Shepard! Your Quarian is being all kinds of sassy at me!" I joked.

"You get used to it!" he answered, trying to aim lasagna at his mouth while not looking away from his model, man looked like he just bit into someone's neck. "Just give her your money and advance tech and she'll leave you alone."

Tali eyeballed him, "Shepard, how long have you been working on that ship?"

"..." Shepard slid a credit chit across the table.

"Keelah~," she took the chit, "Like watching over a baby Varren~."

As she was chastising a grown man I jumped into the Gamer's store.

The store is... large, it has everything in the multiverse, so using the search bar could only do so much.

So, when I searched for hyperspace matter, I got a lot of stuff, from Star Trek to Babylon 5, but since my hyperspace engine designs came from Star Wars it was best to keep to the same theme.

Wait, how much of this stuff did I need?

"How much Hyperspace matter do you need?" I whispered to Julee.

She gave me a shrug, "The blueprints called for 0.04 milligrams of 'Coaxium', it is supposed to enhance the engine's power allowing you to enter Hyperspace."

Refined Coaxium – 20 gold or 80,000 credits per milligram

Raw Coaxium – 2 gold or 8,000 credits per milligram

I just bought 3 milligrams of the Refined Coaxium, you never know how much I'll need after all. Thank the gods for Darkspawn and Telsa's terrifying financial skills.

I also made sure it came with the correct container, I'm not sure how dangerous this stuff was and I didn't want to find out when it was on my lap. All I know is that Star Wars ships have a nasty case of exploding in space.

"Alright~!" I called out, giving Shepard a break from being reprimanded, summoning a container with enough milligrams of Coaxium for a single engine. "Here you go~, don't spend it all in one place~."

"Thank you," she bowed only to stand in place.

We just looked at each other, before I put a plate of Dextro pig on the counter, "Lunch?" I asked.

"I also need an arc reactor for the power source," she pointed out.

"Oh~," I placed a mini-arc reactor on the counter. She quickly stashed it away in her runic bag of holding, she seemed attached to the thing, you couldn't see her go anywhere without it. "Make sure to eat, we're hitting the Citadel tomorrow morning, and being on this ship for about 6 days now, I can almost guarantee there's some kind of firefight in our near future!" I called out as the girls giggled out of excitement and ran off to the shuttle bay to work on their engine. I wanted to see hyperspace, but not at the expense of their health. Looking over I spotted Miranda frowning at me, "What?"

"That's it? You gave them unknown 'hyper matter' without a moment's hesitation?" she frowned, wow, even when frowning she was pretty.

I rolled my eyes, "What part of 'trust' do you not understand? I do not trust you; you are a terrorist; you kill without mercy if it means your space racist organization gets what it wants. Do you have selected blindness or something? Shepard! Name one thing Cerberus has don't you will never forgive."

This time Shepard put down his painting tools, "Where should I start, maybe with the Rachni and Thorian creepers they played with before they got loose and killed them all, or maybe how they kill the colony on Akuze with thresher maws, followed by leading a platoon of soldiers they tricked into investigating an SOS from the colony just to see how soldiers faired, and then torturing the sole survivor with Thresher maw venom."

"And then there's Rear Admiral Kahoku," Garrus pointed out.

"Right~, because Cerberus has short-term memory, they did the same fucking experiment, killing another platoon of soldiers using more thresher maws, and when Rear Admiral Kahoku investigated, he was kidnapped, tortured, killed, and then thrown into a room with Rachni to dispose of the body. But what I found to be the worst thing Cerberus has done, was what happened on Chasca, an entire colony, every man, woman, and child was turned into Husks, just to see what it was like," he tsked, "Fuck Cerberus. Miranda you should be the most grateful for my N7 training, I was fully planning on killing you and Jacob on the shuttle to meet the Illusive, and if I didn't find any proof on Freedom's progress about the collectors, I would have killed you there too and left with the Quarians. Funny how things work out." his eyes were dead serious. "Shame to, I like Jacob, good man, made poor choices, but a good man."

"Are you picking up what he's putting down Miranda?" I asked.

"I didn't know about any of that," she excused.

"That's even worse!" I screamed, "MIRANDA LAWSON! You are TIM's right-hand woman! If you signed off on the terrible things Cerberus has done, I would at least know you are a woman of cold-blooded conviction, but now, I should fit you with a safety helmet and drop you off in the nearest government-funded home for the mentally impaired!" I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "Sous-chef Gardner, can you handle the rest of lunch?"

"Yes, head chef!" I called out, taking out some ham from the oven for Sky.

"Good, I need to go find some friends," I sighed walking around the corner, and looked Miranda in the eye, "Lawson, we are not friends, there is a good chance we'll never be friends, but I need you to stick your head out of your ass, and look around. Before I was okay with Sky and Ayla working under you for missions, but not anymore, you have proven to me that you don't know how to lead or think for yourself. You do not inspire confidence or loyalty, you and Cerberus will gain nothing from me, if I find you trying to steal anything from my family or threaten them, I will kill you, and burn your organization to the ground." I walked back to my room, leaving a quiet room behind.

Fuck Cerberus.

-/-

Popping back to Skyhold for a quick phone call, ended with hours of paperwork and having to promise Lily to think about meeting with the new divine, which was... a thing. It seems like what's her face retired making... Justine? Sophia? Jinx? Whatever, I couldn't care less, the new divine, and wanted to patch things up, I told her to take it up with Cailan, Ferelden has been slowly breaking away from the Orlesian chantry, it's not like Tevinter or anything, just more people asking questions, not going to church as much, and not taking their word as truthful as before, some lords have been making the Chantry pay taxes for all the land they have.

This has gotten the Chantry to put pressure on Orlais to make up the difference, this, of course, has been considered a bad move by everyone, but the nobles, with taxes rising to pay the Chantry, the common folk have been getting more and more irritated, farmers were losing more crops thanks to the taxes, making it so any leftover crop was kept for their family, but sometimes that wasn't enough, people go hungry, people get angry, people get hurt. Celine and Gaspard are now butting heads, Gaspard with his pea-sized wisdom thought war is the only way to help raise the Orlesian economy, causing their neighbors to bulk up, one of those neighbors being Ferelden, and with Skyhold being so close to Orlais, I added a few dozen more Fireball turrets on the Passage that leads to Orlais. Sure, they can go over the Frostback mountains, but the Donner Party isn't just a scary story, it's a very real thing here, Mother Nature doesn't give two shits about your mighty army.

According to my paperwork things were looking decent, the city council were doing their job, there was now a cleaning department made up of Astral's cleaners, an official football league took Ferelden by storm after TVs became cheaper to buy, now every major city had a team, and I was being contacted to build a stadium in Denerim. It would time but it would be possible, all I would need is a break from the Normandy, and it should be fine. I went down to the train warehouse and created and copy a laundry list of things Telsa said we were running low on, toilets, toilet paper, regular paper, ink, How-to books for dummies, just everyday things people never really think about until you realize you no longer have any, not gonna lie, put aside the darkspawn, that's where most of money is coming from, sure mirror phones are getting more and more common but they tend to be expensive, not everyone has a gold coin to spare.

With Lily and Zev giving me a timetable of about three days, I gave Aeden (Read: Morrigan) back the reign of Skyhold, and I hopped back to the Normandy for breakfast. The crew was a bit more sober, sure they knew Cerberus wasn't a good organization, but to be told how bad it was by their captain must have hit hard. Still, it's better to know the truth than live in ignorance, less you start drinking the Kool-Aid.

I'm thinking eggs~.

-/-

Sky POV

I still didn't like the metal space box, too little, with too many land walkers.

"I didn't take it!" mmm? Looking over I spotted one of the... Queerians? Curians? Quarians! Maa~, this new language Nicky's teaching me is weird, why can't all land walkers speak the same?

Walking over I stood over the male human in the blue uniform, he seemed to have noticed my magnificent presence because as he turned to talk to me, he dropped to the floor in awe... or fear, it's hard to tell sometimes.

"What the hell are you!?" he asked crawling away, fear it was.

"Great Dragon," I answered.

"What do you want?" the human asked.

"There is yelling over here, I came to investigate. I'm here with my Thunder," I pointed to one of the shops. "As a dragon, I am more powerful than all three of you, so I have come to put things in order."

"I... don't think that's how that works," the little Quarian said.

I looked down at her until she began to squirm, "Can you stop me?" I asked.

"... nope," she answered, backing down.

"Good, now tell me the problem," I ordered.

"Listen, I don't know who you are, but you can't just butt in on my questioning," the human growled.

I just blinked at him, before quickly whipping my tail around his neck and lifting him off the ground. "I believe you misunderstood the situation you are in," I monotoned, "I, am in command here. You, listen to me. Understood?" I growled back, causing everyone around us to freeze. "Now, tell me what happened," I ordered, dropping the human to the floor. That varmint is not one millionth of a percentage of Nicky's strength and he has the nerve to question me.

"I-I-I-I this Quarian is a-accused of stealing his man's credit ch-chit," the man whimpered, pointing at the round creature in armor.

"And is this true?" I asked the Quarian female, "I recommend you do not lie."

"I-I no ma'am! I didn't steal anything!" she answered, I could not see her face, but her body spoke the truth.

I turn to the circle, "You accuse this woman, what is your proof?"

"I... She is... a Quarian! That's all... the proof I need!" it wheezed.

I squinted my eyes at him, "You know nothing and have no proof, your word means nothing to me. You, human, what have you been able to investigate?"

"I-uh, nothing really, b-but everyone knows Quarians are thieves and beggars."

The growl I unleashed shook the metal under me. "You are a failure in every way," I grabbed him by the throat again and lifted him off the ground, "We investigate," I looked at the two in armor, "Follow," I ordered. We went into two shops and found the round one's chit immediately, he seemed to have forgotten it after a purchase. "Leave varmint," I ordered to the circle, "If I find you harassing another person... there won't be a third time." The circle ran off at an impressive speed. I turned to the woman, she is still scared, weak, and trembling, mine. "Come." I didn't give her much of a choice as I lifted her with my tail.

"Oh! Uh! Where are we going?" she asked.

"I would have to ask the same~," Nicky's voice called out from a corner booth selling food, Nat, Kasumi, Neria, and Dagny were with him. "We lost you for a moment."

I shoved the male for him to see, "failure."

"Oof~, you done fucked up, didn't you~," Nick laughed at the man. "Alright~, Ladies I hope that you don't mind but I'll be joining Sky for a bit."

"Gasp~, leaving a lady alone on a date~? Poor show Walters~," Kasumi teased.

"Allow me to make it up to you~," he waved his hand, his omni tool flashed to life, "I gave Neria 30,000 credits, have a good time, on me," he bowed.

"Thank you Nicky~," the ladies sang waving goodbye.

"So, I suppose introductions are needed. My name is Nick Walters, smarter than your average bear, playboy, philanthropist, at your service, miss?"

"Oh! uh, my name is Lia'Vael nar Rayya. Hi."

"It a pleasure ma'am," ahh~, my Nicky never knows how to ease his charm.

"Hey! Release me!"

"Hey, bud~! I'm going to need you to listen to me~, Sky is a Great dragon, do you know what that means~, it's okay if you don't cause I'm about to tell you. She is the apex of strength and magic, she can, if she felt like it, crush your throat like playdoh. You are, in a very terrifying sense, hanging by a thread. So, I'm going to need you to shut up." the male stopped squirming and went limp. "Smart man."

-/-

Lia'Vael Nar Rayya POV

I wasn't ready for today, I just wanted to look longingly at some of the old used ships for sale, and now I was watching an 8-foot scaled horned woman, that made me question a lot of things about myself, roaring down at the Captain of C-sec on my behalf.

The man, Nick Walters, was staring down everyone else with his glowing eyes, leaving the captain and the racist officer to face the brunt of Sky's rage alone.

"If I have to return to this office because of another failure, I will remove you from leadership and put someone better in charge," Sky growled, sending shivers up my spine.

"Is that a threat?" the captain growled. I felt an arm wrap itself around my waist, looking over I found Nick giving me an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry," was the only thing I heard before I felt the galaxy fall on my shoulders, the only thing keeping me from dropping to the floor like a Hanar without their hover tool was Nick's grip.

"I didn't threaten, human, everything belongs to me, if you cannot keep my belongings safe, I, will, find, someone, who can."

Keelah! I-I think the galaxy is falling in on itself, I-I'm going to die. I'm going to die here, mother, father, I failed you, I'm so sorry. I shut my eyes tight. Please! I don't wanna die!

"Hey~, I got you, you're going to be okay, I won't let you fall," a soft voice called out. I think someone was holding me. "Easy~, Easy~, breathe with me, in... out... in... out." The only thing I could do was follow the voice's orders. "Great job Lia, in. Out. In. out. Now, can you tell me three things you hear?"

Everything was still fuzzy, but I could hear the shifting of, "Shuttles," the voice hummed in approval, I could hear the chittering of a "Keeper."

"Very good," the voice complemented

"and... you, I guess."

This time the voice laughed, it brought ease to my nerves, "Great job Lia, Now I need you to open your eyes and point out three things for me."

Picking I spotted Nick holding me, "I see you," he nodded, looking over I found ourselves out the C-sec office, "Avina," I pointed out the Citadel's VI, he gave me another nod, "Sky car," I pointed to a brand new X3M, Keelah I wanted one so badly.

"Perfect ~, know I need you to move three body parts," he ordered. I tapped my fingers together followed by wiggling my toes, and scrunching my nose, "Good job~," he teased.

"Thanks... wait, how did you-" he locked my mask into place. MY MASK!?

"Relax~," I don't know why but I listened, my fear and worry melted away, "I cured your immune system, check your readings, you're ok~," my mask started showing me my health giving me the all clear, no infection.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked.

He just smiled down at me, "It's-a me, Nick Walters~, Magic doctor, chef, a bit of a jerk," this guy's crazy, "and a man with a job offer~."

… Ancestors watch over me.

"I'm listening."

-/-

Shepard POV

"So... run this by me one more time~," I sighed.

"I wish to hire this young woman so I can run magic experiments on a Quarian, since Tali's on the ground team I didn't want to run tests on her," Nick explained.

Yeah, that didn't make it better, I turned to the young Quarian woman she was just as nervous as Tali was the first time we met. "Miss, do you understand what you're getting into? We are on a mission, that can be generously called suicidal, so you can understand my hesitance to have you join us."

"Wait~," Tali spoke up, "Why didn't I get the choice to stop Saren? You looked me in the mask and told me to report to the Normandy."

"Duh~, you had assassins nipping at your heels, I wasn't going to toss you to the wolves after you gave us the data, who do I look like to you? Udina?" I scoffed. "The fact that you were a master mechanic, and an engineer was just a happy coincidence."

"What would you have done if I wasn't any of those things?" Tali huffed.

I shrugged, "Probably would have had you work under Chakwas as her nurse, or watch over my finances, most likely both."

"I worked as a mechanic on the Rayya! And know my way around a shooting range," Lia added, great another Tali.

"Yeah, I'm 95% positive that every Quarian can create their own ship if they had the money and time," I sighed.

"That's a bit low~," Tali joked.

"There have to be some Quarian children who like to play with plants somewhere," I justified, "I swear if the alliance became allies with the Quarian people we would have the largest naval power in the galaxy. All we would have to do is give you a livable planet... mmm~." how much political power 'do' I have?

"The migrant fleet would never agree, not after the citadel threw us to the coldness of space, never again will we be under someone's thumb," Tali answered, cutting off any chance for a team-up.

"Yeah, that would be too easy," I sighed, "Ms. Lia, you do know that I am working with Cerberus at the moment."

She nodded, "I do, Nick made it very clear, but he also told me that you were working with 'thee' Tali'Zorah!"

'Thee' Tali'Zorah? I looked over to an equally confused Tali. "Me?" she pointed to herself.

Lia nods her head rapidly, "Everyone in the fleet knows about you! You saved Shepard," What? "Stopped Saren, improved the Quarian image to the rest of the galaxy by destroying the Geth! You're a hero!"

"... Me?" Tali asked again, still pointing to herself. Oh, that face brings me back, it was Elysium all over again.

"Yep, there's even a human cartoon coming out about your adventures!" A what now? Lia showed me a cartoon trailer of Tali running and gunning, with Me and Wrex close behind following her lead as she rushed forward, shooting Geth and Husks, with Saren in the hoverboard, I wanted, sneering down at her, with an outline of sovereign overhead.

It took a second for my brain to reboot, I slowly turned to Tali, who was looking away from me. "Uh, what's this?" I asked.

"Mmm? What's what? I don't see anything," Tali hummed.

"Hey!? Why am I not in the trailer?" Garrus asked.

"That's what you got out of that vid? The fact you weren't in it?" I huffed.

"I get 15%-"

"3%" Nick corrected.

"In royalties," Garrus continued, "And the Alliance just put the N7 Valiant on the market, I neeeeed it~."

"You need therapy~," I countered. "Ms. Lia, I must inform you that I cannot pay you for being part of my crew."

"Oh, that's okay, Mr. Walters is already paying me!" Lia cheered. Nick gave me a thumbs-up.

"Do I wanna know?" I asked him.

"150,000 Credits, one pound of Badassium, one mini-arc reactor, and one full closet of clothes," he shrugged.

I'm pretty sure I forgot how to breathe. "Where did you get so much money~," Garrus asked for me.

"What do you think I was doing with all the guns and armor I was collecting? David has been buying everything I've been bringing in. I even had Tali look over all the Geth bots I picked up; The Alliance pays top Cred for all that stuff."

"Is that what you did with the Colossus?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Grunt didn't want the body, so I sold it, the Alliance rep Anderson led me to practically ripped it out of my hands and threw money at me to go away."

"Yeah, Geth have self-destruct systems," Tali answered. "A mostly intact Geth colossus's body would have any military chomping at the chance to work with it. I hope you don't mind but how much did you sell it for?"

Nick hummed, "750,000 Credits, a little under 50,000 for all the guns and armor, and getting an okay trickle from different advertisements that play in between the episodes."

"Just for my peace of mind how much is that?" Garrus asked.

"About 40,000 a week~, the Alliance likes the positive PR they are getting with the younger crowd and are paying top cred per alliance commercial~. Goes to show cartoons are where the real money is at," Nick teased.

"Is that per show?" Garrus asked, doing some mind calculations.

"Yep, I'm trying to get Anderson to sell me his stories during the First contact war, and some of his N7 adventures. Hey, do you know someone named Alec Ryder? David told me they served together, N7, I've been trying to find him, David won't play ball unless Ryder agrees," Nick asked me.

I shook my head, "No, while there aren't a lot of N7 graduates, any of us that did pass were split apart and placed as leaders in our own units. If an N7 doesn't want to be found we can disappear into the ether, I would start with family, if he has any." I let out another sigh, I need to focus, "Ms. Lia, if you wish to join us, know that there's a chance that you may not return, are you okay with at?"

She gave a nod, "Yes Commander," she gave me a Quarian salute.

"Well, I gambled with a Quarian before, and it saved my rump more than once. Welcome aboard," We shook on it.

"I've transferred you the money and we can find someone to deliver the Badassium and Arc reactor to the migrant fleet if you want, Come let's go window shopping." Nick led her and Sky away.

"... why don't you take us window shopping?" Tali asked.

I looked down at her, and pinched her cheeks, "The Adventures of Tali'Zorah!?" I gritted my teeth into a smile.

"AH! It hurts! My face! My face! Your fingers are way too rough! It's called moisturizer!" I pinched harder, "AH~! Don't be angry at my creative genius!" I sighed and let go of her face. "Ow~," she squeaked.

"At least tell me that you didn't make me look like an idiot."

"Never! Just slightly incompetent when it came to omni-tools. Garrus comes out as an idiot," she huffed rubbing her cheeks,

"Hey!" Garrus squawked

"That's fine then~, let's get these enviro-suits to the Normandy."

"That's not fine, my sister's probably going to watch that!"

"Oof, that's rough buddy~," I teased.

-/-

Miranda Lawson POV

Walters is a damn fool. Another Quarian in Humanity's most advanced warship!?

"And this is the Kitchen~, if you ever need anything and I'm not here, this green fridge here has all the dextro food," Nick said, giving the Quarian a tour.

This was ridiculous, "Shepard?" I hiss at the commander, who was working on another of his models while eating a bowl of nachos, all that hard work to sculpt his perfect body and he pisses it all away.

"Make it quick, I got magic training soon." wow, he took that crazy sentence in stride.

"Another Quarian?" I questioned.

"Yep~, I can see," he answered not looking away from his model.

"Why is she here?"

"The same reason Zaeed is here, money," he answered, uncaring of the world around us.

"And how much are you paying her?" I didn't approve of any hiring money.

"Nothing, Nick is fronting the bill," he explained, leaning back and allowing his paint to dry. "I don't even know why you're upset? Quarians are some of the best Engineers in the galaxy, Tali has already whipped Donny and Gabby into shape, and she's only been here for four days and two of those were on Tuchanka."

"I didn't debrief her."

"Nor should you, she's not part of the ground crew, and since I'm captain I did the interview and explained our mission, I also had EDI give me a background check. She's cleared, no more than some dick C-sec officer marking her vagrancy," he sighed, "It's getting to that time, GM 1 can you return this to my cabin?" he asked one of Nick's robot maids, why are they wearing French maid outfits?

"Of curse, Commandair" the maid answered in an outrageous French accent.

He sighed again and walked towards the elevator.

"Why are you wearing... that." I didn't see it at first with him sitting down.

"Nick made me wear them. They're a bit... tight."

I'll say. He was wearing skintight short shorts with a white T-shirt that left very little to the imagination.

"Hey, commander," Engineer Donnelly called out, "Can you not, I'm not ashamed of my body but damn man, wear a baggy shirt at least."

"Workout more Donney, or Gabby's eyes might wonder~," Shepard teased, causing Donnelly to start stuttering and coughing, trying to make up an excuse but Shepard was already on the move. I quickly followed him into the elevator.

"Shepard, what are we going to do with Walters?" I asked, "We can't let that man do what he wishes, he's adding people to the ship, contradicting orders, he even made Gardner into his puppet."

The elevator dinged as we reached the shuttle bay. Qina, Moreau, EDI, Goto, Brosca, Zorah, Surana, Urdnot, the Tabris twins, the Hope sisters, and the Dragons were already down here. They were all wearing the same outfit Shepard was wearing, except the woman who also had sport bras.

"I don't know, Nick hasn't really gone against any of my orders, and has been making the Crew as comfortable as possible, have you seen the new crew Quarters? I've seen 5-star hotels with worse rooms, and I'm pretty sure the Bar blows anything in this galaxy out of the water, all Garrus thinks about is having a shootout in the room. I'm not sure you know but that is high praise."

"He can't be trusted," I stated.

He gave me a long look. "You wanted to put a control chip in my brain," he loomed over me, "you wanted to take away my freedom and turn me into a tool. You and your father are more alike than you think."

How dare he! I am nothing like him! What I'm doing is for the betterment of humanity, not to boost my ego! I wanted nothing more than to slap the stupid off his face.

"I'm here!" Walters called out wearing the same outfit as everyone else, with the Quarian and his dwarf apprentice next to him wearing the same ridiculous outfit. "Lawson~, is there something I can help you with? GASP! Are you here to work out with us? I should warn you; you look ridiculous."

"Me? Have you seen yourself?"

He grabbed the edge of his short shorts, stretching them out a bit showing off its elasticity, "Please~, this thing has enough runes to give me comfort, healing, and protection, you can take a bullet to the crotch and walk that shit off. Your onesie just looks impractical."

"It's made of a tough malleable plastic ceramic creating a hard suit, it's not even on the market," I hissed.

"... and the boob window?" he asked.

"... Shut up."

"That's about right~," he laughed. "Alright! Ladies and... the rest of you, allow me to introduce my friend Lia'Vael nar Rayya, she's new to the Engineering crew."

Vael gave a small bow, "It's nice to meet you."

Ugh, this is supposed to be a human ship, a human operation, I understood that some of the ground crew would be aliens, but they are the best of the best, trained and proven to be masters of their fields, but her!? She's just a girl! Watching the meet and greet annoyed me more than it should have. Nearly a month on this ship, being a pillar of strength, working for my respect, and then a damn dimensional wizard messes with the ship's order in less than a week.

"Alright let's get started. Dagna, you got the newbies, Lia, Joker, and EDI with me, Jak you have Grunt and everyone else you have your routine. Lawson, are you going to join us? Or just stand there looking like a dead fish?" Nick drawled.

I tsked and walked away, I'll have a better view on the fourth floor.

-/-

Nick POV

I had EDI and Joker speed walking, they need to learn to walk before they can run, Lia was given a full workout testing her endurance, strength, balance, and flexibility, followed by some sports that tested limb-eye coordination like volleyball, soccer, baseball, even a game of urban combat using paintballs. After that, we played games of chance and thought, like Poker, I Spy, and 20 questions, and we closed the day with some cool-down stretches much to some of the newcomer's embarrassment.

"Nick, do we need to stretch like this?" Tali muttered, having a hard time due to her legs.

"Yep~, when not using a focus, like a wand or a staff, magic uses the body as the next possible focus. Change!" I ordered, twisting into a new pose, "If your body cannot handle the raw power the spell could fail or worse, lose focus and become what many call 'wild magic'." I explained.

"Wild magic?" Kasumi was taking to this like a fish to water.

"Yep, things get dangerous then. A firebolt could change into a fireball, draining you of power while causing unwanted damage, change, and that's if you're lucky. Magic isn't a toy, you're bending reality around you, the impossible becomes possible, you can teleport 500 feet down-" I looked down to my feet, "-you don't want that, or you can see into the future but your possible deaths, shit you can turn into a fruit, magic is ridiculous at the best of times, the last thing you need is to have a loose grip on it. Change." I ordered.

"And how do these stretches help?" Lia asked, having far more trouble than Tali due to not training to be a soldier.

"There are two places magic is stored, the brain and just below the stomach, since you can't really strengthen your brain, working the body to be able to expand your core is more straightforward," I answered.

"so... I have a magic organ now?" Tali asked.

I gave a soft chuckle, "Kind of~, it's more like a concentration of magic that feeds into your body, I have no doubt some species might have one, but not for most. When you pass it tends to dissipate no longer having a living host, if you're truly powerful it might snap you back to life."

"You make it sound like it's alive," Shepard pointed out.

"Mmm, change, some say it is. They say magic pairs with mortals so it can become stronger so when you die the mana you grew dissipates back to the realm of magic, making it bigger and stronger, making it easier for others to gain more magic. John your child would likely have magic because you have magic, it's not a guarantee but the chances are very high, change." my ass was now up in the air. "I should also warn you~, magic tends to blur the lines between species."

"What's that mean?" he asked.

"He means me~," Ayla answered. "I'm half human, on my mother's side, my father was an Elf. Two different races. So, make sure you wear protection. That goes for you too Tali, and you Kasumi." she teased.

"And we haven't even gotten to Chi," Julee laughed.

"Okay~, and we're done for the day, Hit the showers," I ordered.

"Ugh~, why do I have to do this?" Joker complained, slowly getting up.

"Oh~, Joker, complain all you want now but you'll be thanking me in the future, trust me, ladies love a flexible man," I teased, "We can reach places others can't."

He rolled his eyes at me, "Thank the maker, I can now be bent over when I take a pounding~."

"I'm sure EDI will be gentle on you~," I joked.

"Don't worry Jeff I have a vibration function, so I don't require too much thrusting... that's a joke." EDI deadpanned. That got me dying.

Joker reached over, cupped EDI's cheek's together, and gently mushed them, "Haven't you gotten a little too cocky for a lowly co-pilot?"

She retaliated by pinching his cheeks, "I learned from the best~."

"Evil be kind~," Jak groaned, shoving them into the elevator, "Just bone already~!" She pressed the button for the CIC and let them ride up alone. "I got two weeks~," she bet.

"Please, Joker's still a virgin, he needs to build up to it, 3 months," I counter.

"EDI will explode by then!" Julee added, "4 days! Tops, EDI just got her body and is ready to use it."

"Guys please," Shepard huffed, "... he isn't going to last the week."

"Joker isn't really going to sleep with her, is he?" Tali asked.

We just looked at her, "Oh ~, you poor innocent cupcake~," Nat sighed.

"Tali you do know the only thing that stopped him from making love to the first Normandy was the fact that it was a ship, that's no longer an excuse," Shepard explained.

"But she's synthetic."

"Tali~, let me tell you something about men, we tend to be idiots for a pretty face, just look at her," I jutted my thumb at Jak, "When I first met her, she beat me up, and then batted her eyelashes at me, causing me to fall head over heels for her," I gave a dramatic swoon.

"You were standing over me like a creep," she huffed.

"True~, but as you can see, she didn't deny her eyelash batting~."

Jak shrugged, "You knew how to cook, the fact that I fell in love was a nice bonus~."

"So, EDI is using Joker?" Tali asked.

"100%," I nodded. "EDI knows that Joker is one of, if not the, best pilots in the galaxy, she knows that Joker would die for this ship, he would die for her. So why not make the Normandy his home, a place he feels safe?"

"But, wouldn't that make any relationship they have fake?" Lia asked.

"Not all relationships start with love and passion, some start as obligations or proximity or maybe even for safety, Neria was pretty much using me as a shield against a crazy religious organization," I pointed out.

"And then I was introduced to warm showers and beds that held you like a loving mother." Neria sighed, "Yeah, I wasn't going anywhere, it didn't hurt that everyone in Mother Base was strangely good looking~."

"I blame the food~," I teased.

"You cooked the food~," Dagna rolled her eyes.

I smirked, "I know~."

"What you put in my food, Walters?" Dagna teasingly huffed, sticking her chin out at me.

"Oh~, you know me, a little bit of spice, a dash of love, a whole lot of magic~," we laughed like crazies together.

"Is he always like this?" Lia asked.

"Give it time~," Julee teased, "you did sale your body to him~."

"Did you have to say it like that?" she groaned.

I gave a relaxing sigh, "At the End of the day Tali, who are we to tell someone who to love, just wish them luck and be there if things don't work."

"Unless they're crazy," Kasumi added.

I snapped my fingers, "RIGHT! Let them love whoever they want unless they're crazy! Give them a warning, and if they ignore you, you get to tell them you told them so when, not if, that relationship implodes! Nothing short of your loved one telling you they love you feels as good~."

"Seems kinda petty~," Tali muttered.

"It's incredibly petty! But if they're your friend, they'll take it to the chin, and allow you to help them to their feet." I sighed, just thinking about being vindicated.

"But what if you're wrong and they live happily ever after?" Lia asked.

"And there's the gamble~, high risk, high reward," Ayla sighed. "You wanna make assumptions, get ready to swallow your pride and apologize if you're wrong. Otherwise, you'll move from petty to vindictive, and that just makes you a toxic person."

"So, I should just let their relationship continue?" Tali asked.

I shrugged, "Can you stomach apologizing to EDI?"

"... I don't know."

"Then just wish them luck," Julee patted her on the back, as the elevator opened. "Come on~, I'll wash your back~." the smirk Julee had would have been better on a Cheshire cat, as the elevator closed.

"You can tell me what all the Bio-enhancers do!" Jak added joining them in the elevator pushing Lia with them.

"Kasumi, can you make sure Julee and Jak don't take it too far?" I asked, "I would ask these ladies but they're weak to their machinations. I can't tell you how many times I asked them to watch over those two only to find them neck-deep in their Tom foolery."

"Look who's talking! Mr. It's-only-one-kiss~," Neria huffed

"I never said that my will was any stronger~," I teased.

Kasumi gave us a giggle, "You're the worst~."

-/-

Palaven was beautiful.

If you love geometry and the color of steel. Everything from the streets to the buildings was in perfect order, even their rivers were shaped into straight lines and perfect right angles. Everything has a place, and everything was in its place. It was a bit jarring if I was honest, but no less beautiful.

"You, okay?" I asked Garrus, he's been a little jumpy, playing with his hands, muttering, tapping his feet.

"Mmm? Yes, I'm okay."

"You're not very good at lying, are you," Ayla teased.

At the moment, Garrus, Shepard, Tali, Ayla, Jak, and I were in the Kodiak flying over Cipritine the capital city of all Palaven, while I call it a city, but it was way bigger than that. A metropolis? What's bigger than a metropolis? A mega metropolis? A super-duper metropolis? Maximum over Metropolis? Call it whatever you want it was big, I don't think I could live in a city like this, just looking at it made me feel claustrophobic.

"It's been some time since I've been here, and I and my father haven't been on the best of terms." he sighed.

"Maybe you should tell him everything that's going on," Jak suggested, "If the reapers are coming you should tell him, from the codex I've read the turian hierarchy is the largest military in the galaxy, wouldn't the Reapers attack here first?"

… the shuttle was quiet. "Well, shit," Garrus hissed. Apparently, the idea that the reapers would attack Palaven straight away didn't really come to the forefront.

"With Earth being a close second," I added. "The Asari and Salarians rely heavily on the turian fleet, if the Turians lose~."

"They can be picked off at the Reaper's leisure," Tali sighed. "And my people don't even have a homeworld, if they attack the live ships, it's over."

"Let's... do one thing at a time, curing Garrus's mom, collect the rest of our team, defeat the Collectors, and then the Reapers," Shepard shrugged, "Simple."

"I like it~," I laughed.

"We have reached your destination." the VI called out, as the dampeners shut off, letting us feel Palaven gravity.

"Alright let's go~," Jak cheered, hopping out of the shuttle first. I had to make a few modifications to her enviro suit making a section for her tail.

"Whoa~, there's a tree," I pointed out. Garrus's family home was rather nice, two story, porch, bench swing, his father made good money to have this place.

Garrus gave me a confused look, "Yeah, did you think Palaven didn't have any?"

"I mean... can you blame me, most of the city is metal," I shrugged.

"We're out in the suburbs, Dad wanted a nice place to retire." he took a deep breath, "Just let me do all the talking~."

We watched Garrus take the lead, "Garrus did tell his dad we would be here, right?" I whispered to Shepard.

"Uh~," was his answer.

"GARRUS!?" came a female voice from the door.

"No... the answer is no," Shepard sighed.

"That explains the guy on the second floor pointing a sniper at my melon," we slowly looked up to see an older turian putting away the weapon. "You think I'll be that crazy one day?" I asked, waving up at him.

"Nick... you would have put an AA gun on the roof, with a pair of machine guns on the lawn," Ayla deadpanned.

"I know, the idea that I would use a single sniper rifle to defend my home, makes me shiver~," I joked.

"Garrus," His father came down the stairs.

"Sir," Garrus responded.

"I'm happy to see you returned from target practice okay."

"It, got a little tiring, but I had a good friend to get me out of the firing range," clearly this was an inside thing, "Commander Shepard, is this my father, Castis Vakarian. Dad this is-"

"John Shepard, first human spectre, I've heard of him, thought you were dead."

"I got better, please to meet you, Garrus told me you taught him everything he knows." They shook hands. "So, I would like to thank you personally, he saved my life more than once."

"I mean, I did the shooting," Garrus muttered.

"And I'm Solana, his little sister," she also shook Shepard's hand. "So, your Garrus's man crush~."

I heard Tali sputter a little holding back a giggle, "I'm back for ten seconds and that's the first thing you say. I love you too, you little brat," Garrus growled.

"It's nice to meet you, Solana," Shepard smiled at her.

"Uh, yes, uh, it is, mmm, very nice," she muttered, bowing a little. Damn Shepard, hold back on the charm a little.

"So, why the surprise visit?" Castis asked, allowing us to enter his home.

Garrus coughed, "Right, allow me to introduce Nick Walters." he nodded to me.

"It's my pleasure." and it really was, Castis appeared in Mass Effect: Andromeda for a single cutscene, he was bigger than I thought he'd be. "I'm not sure if you got the news but I'm a magical traveler from another dimension, I also happen to be one hell of a healer."

He gave me a strange look, "I've been getting some strange news of a man appearing out of nowhere in the Citadel, but the Asari have been the only thing the News outlet is talking about after the whole Prothean beacon thing."

"That would explain why no one cared that I was on the Citadel, but yeah~, I did cause a bit of a kerfuffle, didn't I?" I gave a light chuckle. "In my defense, they were very annoying."

"Mmm, so, if you're a healer, I'm guessing my son has told you about Dilia."

I nodded, "Correct. He was hoping I could help cure her."

"And you think you can succeed were Turian doctors who practice medicine for years couldn't?"

I gave a shrug and smirked, "I have magic."

This time he snapped his eyes to Garrus, "Please, just let him try. I've seen him do things that no one else in the entire galaxy could. Please." Garrus pleaded.

Castis gave his son a long look, before nodding and leading us up the stairs. We ended up in the same room Castis was using to aim at my head. It was nice, it looked like a master bedroom with a chair by the window with a sniper leaning against the chair, there was a turian woman in the large bed, Knitting something.

"Mom?" Garrus caught her attention, as he kneeled next to her. She didn't say anything, just reached out and touched his face, with a small smile crossed her face.

Turian mother

Dilia Vakarian nee Caelso

Lvl: 18

Age: 50

HP 290/290

Ailments:

Severe Corpalis Syndrome (800 MP)

Muscle atrophy (200 MP)

Slight hunger (food)

Slightly thirsty (water)

Dilia Caelso, born and raised in Palaven, married Castis Vakarian at the age of 23 and gave birth to Garrus two years later and Solana 7 years after that. She got into an accident 5 years ago, where she developed Corpalis Syndrome, she has been steadily forgetting things since.

She doesn't know who you are, or what you are.

"I brought someone who might be able to help you," Garrus whispered, he gave me a quick look which I nodded to, the wave of relief that slammed into him must have been great as he wobbled on his knees.

I kneeled next to him, "Hello Mrs. Vakarian, my name is Nick Walters, if you don't mind, I'm going to help you today." she reached out and pinched my cheek.

"Your scales are missing."

I gave a light chuckle, "It's true, I might not be the most handsome turian, but I like to think my personality makes up for that~." I cupped her hand and cured her Corpalis syndrome. Her head lit up like a beacon for a moment before dimming down, to the point where only a glowing outline of her brain remained before that also faded.

She started blinking rapidly, and shaking the cobwebs from her mind, "Whoa~."

"Easy Mrs. Vakarian, let your brain fill in the blanks," I soothed.

She looked at me before looking over to Garrus, and then to her husband and daughter, "Castis... what the hell's going on?" She didn't get an answer before Garrus smothered her in a bear hug. "Oof!? Garrus! What's gotten into you!?"

"Whoa! Whoa, there big boy!" I called out pulling him away, "I haven't finished healing her."

"But-"

"Her Corpalis is gone but I need to fix her muscles, I don't think she's been doing much in her condition," I explained. "Mrs. Vakarian, do you remember me?"

"... I think you're that ugly turian." That got me to laugh.

"The very same~, if you don't mind, I need to finish my treatment so your family can swarm you," I asked for her hand.

"Uh, okay?" She placed her hand on mine, allowing me to finish her treatment, this time when the light show ended, she looked way better.

"Okay, now you can swarm her," I nodded stepping out of the way, stopping next to Shepard, as the family joined in a group hug. "I suggest we get comfortable, there's going to be a bit of crying, eating, questions, and more crying. Trust me I've done this a few times." I groaned, sitting on Castis's chair, and looked out to the capital.

It really was a beautiful city.

-/-

Shepard POV

True to Nick's words, the family took some time before they were able to regain their composure, that followed by us moving down to the kitchen, where Nick help Solana cook some kinda bird, followed by what seemed like a thousand questions that Nick answered without missing a beat, followed by more crying.

"There has to be something we can do to repay you?" Castis asked.

Nick nodded, "There is, and it's simple. Please listen to your son's full story before you make any judgment."

Castis looked over to his son. Garrus took a deep breath, "Where do I start?"

"The beginning," Castis answered, "You know I hate it when a story starts somewhere in the middle."

"Right~, so it started about 3 years ago..." and Garrus started listing off what happened when we started hunting down Saren, from exposing him, to Therum, Feros, Noveria, Virmire, Ilos, to what the Citadel really was, and all the way to right now. His sister looked at him like he was crazy, but his mother and father were dead quiet, just looking deep into their son's eyes.

"This is bad," his mother muttered.

"It took 8 alliance cruisers to defeat that thing and if you didn't weaken it beforehand they would have done nothing. How many did you say there were?" Castis asked.

We shrugged, "Enough to destroy all advanced civilizations before ours and we're far behind the Protheans," I answered. "There could be thousands, millions. No one civilization is going to defeat them, we need to unite."

"Mmm, you're fighting the collector, right? You believe they are connected?"

"They're using Reaper tech, we fought Husks on Horizon, we believe that the Collectors are just tools for the Reapers. We just don't understand what they want humans for," Shepard sighed.

"Mmm, I'll start making calls," Castis answered, "Primarch Fedorian owes me a few favors."

"You think he'll listen?" Garrus asked.

"I'll force him too. We are standing on death's door; we can't afford not to push the envelope." Castis sighed.

"Thanks, Dad," Garrus got to his feet, "I would love to stay but, it's time for me to go. People are still in danger, and it is a Turian's job to keep the peace."

Castis followed his lead, and gave him a salute, "Stay safe, I didn't just get my wife to lose my son."

There was another round of hugs and well-wishes before we were able to escape the Vakarian home.

"This was a good stop," Nick nodded. "We helped Garrus and might get the Turian people to get working on something to fight the Reapers."

"Garrus? How are you doing?" Ayla asked, "That couldn't have been easy having to leave your family."

Garrus shrugged, "I'm okay, just, one more thing to work for. Thank you."

Nick shrugged back, "We tend to fight the hardest when we have some to come home to. Also, I'm using that story you told your family to create your show."

"What~, most of what I said was factual! That's not fair! Wrex deflected rockets with his abs! I have no doubt Tali over there is going to drop-kick a Geth colossus! Are you saying I'm not even going to have any cool lines!?" Garrus gawked.

"I think the truth will come out better in the Turian market~," Nick smirked.

"Shepard say something!?" Garrus pleaded.

"5%" I countered.

"... 4," Nick countered

"8"

"You went up?" Nick huffed.

"I know, and if you don't want it to rise, I suggest you fold."

"You should stick to your day job Shep. 5, final offer."

"Deal." we shook on it.

"I got you 5%, you happy?"

"... No, I wanted my cool one-liners, and that scene where I talked down Wrex from shooting you."

I'm pretty sure the room was spinning, "I'm sorry, 'you' talked down Wrex? I don't remember you there when Wrex had a shotgun to my chest."

"Your memory is a bit fuzzy from your revival, I remember it clearly." the nerve of this asshole.

Tali gave a cough catching our attention, "I think that rocket to the head may have knocked some screws loose."

"Thank you, Tali~," I huffed, "At least one of you-"

"It was clearly my kind words that got through to him." op, never mind, clearly cartoon fame has clouded both your memories.

I looked over to Nick, "I blame you for this," I muttered, watching Tali and Garrus argue.

"So... you want me to cancel your animated series?" Nick asked.

"What? Hell no! I need to set the record straight." I huffed; these idiots make it sound like someone was controlling my every action.

-/-

Damn, Gardner's gumbo is pretty damn good~. It's been 2 days since Palaven and we're flying toward Zorya for Zaeed's contract mission, something to do with an Eezo refinery. We should arrive later today. Giving me enough time to finish my Geth Fighter. Garrus was across from me eating his roasted bird and looking through our new Thanix Cannon, he and Nick have been talking about how an arc reactor may affect its power output, and what runes would be best to give it more power, Nick wanted to give it the ability to fire more than once every 10 minutes.

"Yo Shep!" Nick called out walking in the cafeteria with a beautiful red-haired woman, her eyes were cerulean blue, her lips were pouty, she had a smile that didn't look fake in the slightest, she was wearing some kind of leather armor that hugged her in all the right ways, and the way she walked caught every man's attention. Crewman Richard walked right into a wall. "Allow me to introduce my friend and your new teacher, Leliana... Lily, do you have a last name?"

She shook her head, "Three years you've known me, and you haven't asked once?" Her voice had a light French accent, it left me breathless.

"You're right, that is crazy. Shep, this is Leliana Walters... my very single younger sister~," Nick smiled.

She just rolled her eyes and looked down at me. And I just realized I was wearing my worst-painted shirt, with some gumbo stains, Nick must have planned this somehow. "Uh."

"This is some good gumbo~." I turned to the Italian accent to my left, spotting a tan man with blonde hair and a tattoo on his face, that I'd never seen before. Looking over to Garrus, he was just as shocked as I was at the man's sudden appearance.

"And this is your other teacher and my close friend, Zevran Arainai. They will be teaching you the fine work of espionage and assassination," Nick cheered. "Of course, Kasumi and Nat will also be there, and don't worry about payment, I have already paid them handsomely, so you don't have to give them any money."

"But nothing is stopping you from tipping," Zevran teased.

"They'll help you with Kasumi's upcoming mission after normal morning training, so be prepared for that," Nick warned. "So, get to know your teachers. Grunt, Astral, and Sky just entered the room~," Nick sang, running behind the Kitchen counter and joining Gardner's beat like a master musician.

"So~, you're Commander Shepard. Nick told us a bit about you," Zevran said.

"Good things I hope?" I smiled at him.

"That You are trying to save your galaxy, I must admit, that does sound like a daunting challenge commandair," Leliana sighed sitting next to Garrus, I didn't even see her move.

"Uh, I, well nothing worth wanting is easy. And you can call me John," Garrus just gave me a blank stare. Shut up, I'm just trying to be nice.

"John~, it's a nice name," She smiled at me, thank you for naming me Dad.

"Commander, we are reaching... who is this?" Miranda groaned.

"Ah~, my fair lady~," Zevran seemed to slither past me and was kneeling before Miranda, kissing the back of her hand. "My name is Zevran Arainai, just a humble elf that wishes to make every one of your dreams come true."

"She a crazy terrorist~!" Nick called out, flipping a stake. I don't think he really cared.

"And I'm one of the most dangerous assassins known to man, love doesn't discriminate Nick, you should know that more than anyone-" he turned back to Miranda, "-I apologize for my friend, he has very little filter and tend to do what comes to his mind."

"And why are you on my ship?" Miranda sneered. I gave a cough, followed by EDI at another table eating with Joker. Miranda rolled her eyes, "Why are you on this ship?"

"AH, I have been very handsomely paid to teach your commander the skills of an assassin for the next week and a half. But don't worry, I am a professional, your commander will be ready to disappear and reappear from any dark hall by the time I am finished. But if you desire, I can extend my visit~."

Miranda just rolled her eyes and shoved him out of the way. "And you?" she asked Leliana.

"I guess, I'm Leliana Walters~," she shrugged, "I have no doubt you've learned about Nick's quirk of adopting people?"

"Mmm," was Miranda's answer.

"I'm here to teach John the way of espionage, I'll help him in the way of the bard, of the spy," Leliana answered.

"John?" Miranda asked, glaring over at me.

"Yes, it's my name~," I smiled.

"Right. We are reaching Zorya within 2 hours, make sure your team is ready," she huffed walking away, Zevran made no action to hide his gaze from tracking Miranda's ass.

"It's the crazy ones that make the best bed fellows~," he sighed.

"You're just lucky Nick supplies you with Cure-all potions~," Leliana joked.

"Ah~, Magic, where would I be without you," He swooned. "May we never find out."

"Right~," I drawled, I'm coming to the conclusion that Zevran is a bit of a flirt. "Please make yourselves at home, I need to get my team ready. GM 1, can you please take my model to my room?" I asked the robot maid.

"Oh curse, Commandair," the robot maid nodded placing my model in her chassis.

"Nick why does your Golem have an Orlesian accent!?" Leliana yelled, running over to the kitchen,

"Cuz the Orlesians can wipe my ass!" he answered.

I'm going to leave them to that, I looked over to Garrus, "You coming?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Those two act like me and Sol, and if I know anything we tend to make a mess," he explained, getting up and walking over to his room.

It will be fine as long as nothing blows up.

-/-

"Mmm, warm air, good breeze, not bad, have to burn annoying plants but can live with that," Sky nodded, flexing her wings, "These blue people are also annoying," she huffed crushing the head of a Batarian like a ripe grape and threw the corpse at another blue sun's merc, the shattering of bones was nasty. At the moment, Sky, Zaeed, Jacob, Astral, Jak, Jenny, and I were racing through the forest outside the refinery, with blue suns getting in our way.

"Spirits~," Garrus muttered. Zorya would have been a perfect Garden World if it wasn't for some of the plants here producing a dangerous amount of pollen that could kill people. Settlers just burned huge parts of the land to live here.

"How did Walters bag a lady like that?" Jenny huffed, watching Sky dash from one merc to another simply killing everything wearing blue. Jack gave up trying to get the crew to call her anything else after Nick threatened a food strike.

"He beat her in combat~," Astral answered through a mouth full of chicken. Does this girl ever stop eating?

"Girl, focus, I'm not going to carry you through this mission," Zaeed muttered.

Astral gave a huff, "I'm not one of you land walkers, your tiny weapons won't harm me."

"INCOMING!" Garrus warned as we jumped out of the way of a rocket, everyone but Astral, who took it to the face.

"ASTRAL!?" I called out, only to see her annoyed face looking down at her destroyed chicken.

The look of unbridled rage flashed through her crimson eyes before she flashed forward tearing off the head of the turian that had the guts to do that. "LEARN YOUR PLACE!" She kept jumping from merc to merc leaving a trail of corpses.

"Well, okay then. We really should take them on more missions," Jacob muttered, watching Astral jump 3 stories, grabbing a sniper by the throat, crushing it, and using the body as a projectile.

"BURN!" Astral roared, unleashing a bolt of fire at a group of fleeing Mercs. The explosion nearly knocked me off my feet, the mercs were turned to ash.

"Damn~," Jenny muttered. It took less than 5 minutes, there was a small fire, and every merc was dead. If the Council wasn't a waste of breath, I would have recommended them for the spectres.

Jak gave out a loud whistle, catching the dragon's attention, making a circling motion. They gave a nod and took to the air.

"What was that?" Jenny asked.

Jak gave out a sigh, "You need to pay more attention during planning. Sky and Astral are keeping the air zone clear, nothing leaves, nothing comes in."

We continued down the trail toward the refinery.

"So, you never did answer, how did Walters get a lady like Sky?" Jenny asked. I was also a little curious, Nick was a bit of a flirt, but most men would have been ripped apart by now.

"HA! Nicky~? don't be silly, he's far too shy to make the first move," Jak laughed. We just looked at her like she was crazy, we saw him tell the council to suck it and burned the Asari republic to the ground.

"You can't be serious~," Jacob gawked.

"Nicky is many things, caring, lazy, pervy, and when he really wants to be, deadly," Jak explained, "But when it comes to love and relationships, he is as slow as your old elevator. He would worry over every little thing, 'am I going too slow, too fast, do they like blue better than green, my kissing too long, is my shirt pressed correctly, does my tie look good, how many gifts are too many gifts?'" she gave a huff. "No, Nicky needed a romance guide if you would, someone who told him that certain green lights were on and that he could move to the next step, and that's what I became."

"And the others?" Jacob asked.

"Julee~," Jak sighed, "She fell for Nick on the first day she met him, she was then corrupted by my mother and got the idea to gain a super harem, she had the perfect man, all she had to do was get the right ladies and she would rule the multiverse~." she shook her head, "I tried to stop her, truly I did, but then Nat threw a cocky smirk at me," she gave another sigh, "before I knew it my room was filled with ladies. I blame my biology."

"Biology?" I asked.

"Mmm, you know when Nick called us devils?" I nodded. "He wasn't wrong, my family on my mother's half come from one of the Princesses of the Underland," she explained.

"Hold on! Hell is real!?" Jenny asked.

Jak looked indecisive, "Mmm~, not really. It's not where your damned go when they die, that's for your God to judge. The Underland is a dimension of its own, where power is measured by the contracts you make and what family you come from."

"Holy shit! So, like you can make contracts for people's souls and shit!?" Jenny asked.

"Not me, I'm far too down the line for that. I'm like 9 generations away from me making any real deals, and souls? What the great evils am I going to do with those?"

"Eat them?" Jacob question.

"GROSS~, ugh! Nasty! Who would do that!? If you ever see someone eating a soul, you should kill them," Jak shivered. "Do you have any idea what a soul is made of? Every decision you have ever made, shoved together in a ball the size of your fist, and trust me, you can be a saint and it will smell like the worst dankest corpse you can think of, times three. The Gods made it very clear that souls are meant for them to judge. Trust me, you don't want the trouble with messing with souls." she pointed at me, "That's how you get paladin hunting you to the ends of the galaxy.

"uh, sorry, I didn't know, so if not for souls, what do Devils ask for," Jacob asked.

Jak shrugged, "Depends on what you want and how hard it is to get it. When we first met Shepard, I offered you a deal, retrieving your soul for a favor." I nodded, I do remember that, if Ayla wasn't there, I might have taken it. "If it wasn't for that do-gooder-"

"You mean your lover?" Jenny asked.

"The very same, don't worry, I got her back," I didn't need to know that, "if she wasn't there, your soul would have cost you your children."

"What!?" I coughed out.

Jak nodded, "Yep~, you seem like a good guy, those babies would have been well protected."

"Hold on, you wouldn't take the child?" Zaeed asked.

"Why would we do that? We're not going to take a child from their family, that's monstrous, unless the parents couldn't take care of it of course. Op gap," she pointed out a 20-foot gap, which she jumped in a single leap, she didn't even get a running start, she just jumped. Thankfully there was a bridge. There was a radio on the bridge, with some man named Vido Santiago threatening everyone not to come back to base until we were dead. Zaeed nearly broke the bridge controls in anger.

"So, why won't you take the kids?" Jak asked as we got across the bridge.

"Because the children will be Shepard's, he will raise it right, teach it right from wrong, when the baby reaches 4 years old it will begin to grow a tail and horns, and their magic tends to kick in. And that's it, you have a Tiefling."

"So, Shepard would have to have sex with a Tiefling?" Jenny asked.

"That's the best part~, no. The moment Shepard agreed, his bait and tackle were enchanted, any children he had will be a tiefling no matter what," Jak explained.

"What if he doesn't have children?" Garrus asked.

"Hoho~, he wouldn't be the first to try, the answer is simple~, we make him irresistible. We Tiefling make it so women find Shepard the cream of the crop, how do you like your men Jenny~, big and strong, boom, Shepard gets bigger, and his muscles become just the right size, you like them nerdy, well he's already kinda nerdy so we wouldn't have to do much."

"Hey~," I nodded ahead of us.

Jak waved away my words, "Relax, women love all kinds of men, my oldest sister loves them plump."

"That's not what I'm hey-ing you about. We reached the door," I huffed.

"Oh. So, do we jump it?" she asked.

"Not all of us can jump 50 feet in the air," Zaeed huffed.

"You guys should work out more then~," Jak joked.

"I work out plenty," Jacob huffed. "Besides the controls are right over there. Not everything needs magic~."

"Cover, I'll open the door," I ordered. Opening the gate, we were met with dozens of mercs pointing guns at us.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" a human man slowly clapped on a second-floor balcony railing.

"Evil be good~, Nick would have killed that man by now. That was so cringy." Jak huffed. "Just give me the word."

"Vido," Zaeed growled.

"Zaeed?" Vido started laughing, "Holy shit man, you're still alive!? I shot you in the face! I shouldn't be too surprised though; you were always too stubborn to die. Kill them." he ordered, just before a bolt of lightning struck him in the chest, launching him over the railing to the hard ground. Something definitely broke on the landing, "AHHHH~, FUCK, someone help me!" he ordered. The mercs returned fire.

Jak turned into lightning running through mercs leaving them easy targets for the rest of us.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck~," Vido cursed as he tried to crawl away as we reached him, "Zaeed, buddy, come on, you know it wasn't personal, it was only business! Come on! Be reasonable!" he pleaded.

"20 Years I chased you, 20 years of hate, 20 years and damn, does it feel good to give you at my mercy. I dreamed of this day, what I would do to you, I even got Walters to fix my beloved," Zaeed growled switching his sniper for his assault rifle.

"Hehe, then you should have been faster," Vido laughed as a gunship came from overhead, it didn't last long though as a 70-foot fully armored silver dragon came down like a falcon tearing the ship apart like it was cotton candy and flew off like it had something better to do.

Everything was dead quiet.

Zaeed started slowly chuckling, before he started laughing so hard I thought he was going to pass out, "I did not see that coming!" he laughed. "But you're right Vinny~, best not drag this out."

"Za-" he didn't get to finish, as Zaeed shot him in the face.

"Double tap!" Jak called out passing Zaeed a flaming sword.

"Don't mind if I do~," he smiled like a grandpa would to their granddaughter that said something funny, bringing the sword down and chopping Vido's head off before the body lit up in flames. He let out a long sigh. "Can I keep this?"

Jak gave him a shrug, "Sure, it's not even the best sword I have."

"Thanks, let's clean up the rest and get paid," Zaeed put his new sword away in its sheath strapped it to his waist.

The rest of the refinery was just your average cover-to-cover march made easy with Jak stun-locking opponents for us to pick off. In the end, the workers were freed, and the refinery had minimal damage, and on the occasion Astral or Sky would come from up above and rip apart a gunship before flying off. Maker~, I miss having air superiority, it makes things much easier.

-/-

Lia'Vael POV

"Okay Lia, after a week of normal testing I believe I was able to gain enough base data to make a decent comparison with your enhanced body, are you ready?" Nick asked.

It's been a week of testing and I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for Nick's ridiculous, way too tight, training outfit, I would have been a sad sore quarian begging for death on the floor, but I feel great! I think I even grew some muscle.

"Ready! But uh, what's with the crowd?" It almost seemed like the whole ground crew was down here and the rest of the staff was looking from overhead on the 4th floor.

"That's a good question~, Shepard?" He looked over to Captain Shepard.

The captain shrugged, "I'm not sure about everyone else but I have spy training after this."

"I wanna see if she explodes!" the krogan bounced in excitement.

"For scientific inquiry, of course. Only got to see Councilor Anderson on the Citadel from a distance, now know what to look for, better readings. Please continue, pretend I'm not here," Dr. Solus rambled.

"I also want to see if she explodes," The tattooed female huffed.

"We don't have all day Walters," The Cerberus cheerleading bosh'tet ordered.

"Uh, yes, we do. The only mission we have is Kasumi's, which is like 3 days from now, and since our Assassin and Justicar are still underground, we have nothing else to do." Nick huffed, he turned to me, "We can do this in private if you want."

"Thank you but everyone's already here, let's just get this over with," I sighed.

"Alright, hand," he stuck out his arm at me, I did the same meeting in a handshake, "Here we go~."

The world went white for a moment, everything felt lighter, as the light faded, I was looking Nick in the chin, which was new because he was nearly a foot taller than me. He looked different... no more, detailed. Reaching up I ran my fingers through his stubble, it felt funny, it tickled.

Soft coughing caught my attention, turning I spotted a smirking Kasumi. Her stealth suit lit up for a moment, I could see ways I could enhance it, what tech could help power it, make it better. "You okay?"

Whoa~, I could see the vibrations of her words, I knew where she was, suddenly everything when thermal, allowing me to see her heat signature. Blinking again, it when away.

"Breathe~," Nick whispered bringing me into a hug, holding me up, he was very warm, and smelled a little musky, just finishing morning training, "In, out, in, out," I followed his instructions, it was a little harder than I thought, I could breathe in so much more now, my lungs felt huge. "That's it. Allow your magic to calm down, your safe, nothing's going to hurt you~." Everything was slowly returning to normal, I couldn't even smell Nick and I was holding on to him for support.

"I'm okay~," I gasped.

"Are you sure?" he asked, I nodded into his sweaty shoulder, Keelah~, I'm going to need a shower. He slowly allowed me to touch the floor. I still held on to his shirt a little not fully trusting my feet, he didn't seem to mind. "How are you doing?"

It took me a moment, but I finally trusted myself to stand on my own. "Good, that was just... a lot," I chuckled. "Wow!" I laughed again. I gave a little hop to give the floor under me a good test, well, I would have if I didn't jump half a foot in the air. "WHOA!?" Nick caught me again.

"How bout a lunch break~," he suggested.

My stomach then made a noise I thought only Thresher Maws could make, "I could eat," I muttered.

-/-

Tali POV

"whoa~," I muttered, Lia'Vael just ate that steak, like a wild animal. Any plate Nick placed in front of her was cleaned within 30 seconds. "Nick is this normal?" I asked. Shepard, Garrus, and Mordin were sitting at the counter with me and Lia'Vael.

"Mmm? Oh yeah~," he placed a rack of ribs on our table which was quickly ripped apart by the Quarian across from me. "I unlocked her Chi with her Mana, her body is now producing and wasting a large amount of energy and she needs to fuel, give it a day or two her metabolism will even out, and have better control of her new power."

"Won't this affect her? This is a lot of food," I asked, as she tore apart a turkey leg.

He shrugged, "The Chi in her body will burn off any unnecessary fat, she'll probably gain some muscle though."

"What is Chi?" Shepard asked.

"Mmm, imagine your body was a sponge that soaked up mana from the universe around you, by working the body the sponge gets bigger and you can use more magic. Chi is the power of the body," he made a fist before it turned a metallic black, "It is your very Will. It is life, where magic bends reality, Chi forces it into submission, it is control. Let the universe quake in anger at my might, I'm not going anywhere," he smirked, letting the black that covered his arm to fade. "In layman's terms, Mana brain, Chi body."

"Oversimplification, Do these powers mix?" Mordin asked.

"Pish! Are you joking~, Mana still needs the body to perform spells, Chi keeps the body in peak condition, Lia wouldn't even need a focus. When she gains control of her body, the only thing stopping her from casting spells will be her knowledge, imagination, and energy," Nick answered. "And it comes with a whole lot more side effects, Tali, how long do most Quarians live for?"

"Uh, about a hundred years, if they don't get sick," I answer.

"Not anymore, remember when I told you that in times of stress and danger, your magic will act out to keep you safe? Guess what? Every time your cells copy themselves, they're slightly more flawed than before, we call this, aging. Your magic doesn't like that. So, it tries to help by making every copy just that little bit better, the flaws a little bit less, and the aging slows, I believe the Asari people do the same with biotics, but I haven't really gotten a chance to check. Now you have 3 – 400 years~, now add Chi~, your body is now more powerful than ever before, energy courses through your body, every one of your cells just got a major power boost, that 400 years has now doubled, stay in shape, find things to do and explore, create a family, and suddenly 1000 years isn't so crazy. Shit you might even see Wrex grow old with his thousands of children when we beat the Reapers." he joked placing another steak in front of Lia'Vael, who didn't hesitate, I don't even think she was paying attention.

"That's crazy~. Nick, how old are you?" Garrus asked.

"28. Why?"

"28!? Shouldn't it take longer for you to reach adulthood? Asari usually reach adulthood at about 150," Garrus gawked.

"Yeah, but I'm human."

"Yes, but..." Garrus looked confused trying to make sense of it all.

"Your people are like Krogans," Grunt answered, coming over with an empty plate where Nick placed a fresh melon.

"Kind of~, a krogan can have a good life in my world, Dragons, Zombies, Werewolves, Demons, lots of things that go bump in the night and the day. In fact, I have a Krogan head mounted in my castle... Hey! Look at that! Krogan were the first people of your dimension to travel! Congratulations~," He cheered.

Grunt started laughing in pride, I felt like my brain was about to explode, the Krogans were our first diplomatic ambassadors to a new dimension. "Any stories about them?" Grunt asked.

Nick shrugged, "A few, none that I can confirm. Some of the Avvar clans talk about a group of scaled warriors that used strange magic, some talk about a mighty scaled warrior that helped the early Ferelden Barbarians fight back the werewolves that stalked the night, but nothing was ever confirmed. But I did find this~," he created an illusion of a cave painting that looked a lot like a Krogan with a huge battle axe, fighting off large animals with a group of humans holding spears.

"HAHA! Great warriors, do you know their names?"

"No, most have been lost to history, and others have had their legends told so many times, that it's hard to tell what is fact."

"Can people just travel through dimensions like that?" Garrus asked.

"Gods no~, you would first have to pass through the in-between, the space between dimensions, trust me you don't wanna be stuck there, an infinity of nothing, no up or down, no time, no you, just the void," he gave a shiver, "I lost a good amount of golems that way."

"That sounds terrible," I also shivered.

"And that's not the only thing, if you're lucky enough to pass the in-between, you can end up anywhere in the multiverse, and that can be just as dangerous. Can you imagine, a dimension where everyone has butts for faces, or feet for hands, or everyone has mustaches, Tali you have a mustache, Garrus? Mustache! Shepard, how do you like your new handlebar mustache?" Nick teased casting illusions of mustaches on everyone.

"That doesn't make any sense!?" Garrus yelled waving away the illusion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ma'am, is the multiverse melting your mind?" Nick asked, Garrus morphed into a female turian that looked like his mother and sister. "What about you Jane?" Nick asked Shepard as he seemed to shrink, grow breasts, and short red hair that reached her... his... HER NECK!? "Maybe you can explain it to her, Talon~," Nick's voice changed pitch halfway through his sentence, he was a woman now, with long wild black hair. I snapped my eyes down to my breasts only to find a hard muscular chest.

"AHH!" I screamed, Keelah! My voice was so deep! I quickly patted myself off dispelling the illusion, ahh~, my beautiful breasts were back. "That was way too scary~," I sighed.

"And that's just a glimpse of what's out there, the fact that so many Krogan reach Thedas alive, must have been a miracle or at the very least divine intervention," he teased, passing Lia'Vael some more food. "It's fun to think of somewhere, out there the Krogan are the ones who became the leaders in science and forward thinking and the Salarian became bloodthirsty barbarians that only want revenge for the genophage. The Quarians and Geth never fought and became a powerhouse of the galaxy. Humans became the police of the galaxy while the Turians are a new up-and-coming race with visions of something greater, and the Asari aren't bitches. Wild, I tell you. Anything you can imagine can exist somewhere out there. Sometimes I wonder if dreams are just us viewing our counters' universes. But what do I know~, I'm 28, and fighting Giant space robots~," he shrugged off that existential crisis and gave Lia'Vael another steak.

Yep~, I'm gonna have weird dreams tonight.

-/-

"Kick~," Nick ordered.

"Heya!" Lia yelled, mule kicking a hundred-pound punching bag launching it across the shuttle bay, hitting the wall, and slumping to the floor. That was over 70 meters thanks to Nick's space-expanding nonsense.

"Very good~," Nick called out jotting some notes, before whispering with Dagna, who was also taking notes. At the moment most of the ground crew had just finished morning warm-ups and were watching Lia'Vael test her new strength. "Okay Lia, let's test some weights~, we'll start at your previous max." we watched as Lia'Vael, who had serious trouble lifting the same weight yesterday, deadlifted the 60-pound barbell with a single hand and lifted it over her head without any trouble.

"Whoa~," I muttered.

"How are you feeling?" Nick asked.

"Like I can lift the Normandy with my bare hands!" Lia'Vael cheered.

"Let's build up to that~," he teased, pointing to another bar of weights, "Let's find your max first." We just sat there and watched her lift one barbell after another, getting heavier and heavier, finally maxing out at 375 pounds, before Ava took away the weights. I've worked with lots of soldiers and know that big muscles don't always mean being strong, but watching someone like Lia'Vael, who has never lifted something heavier than a sheet of metal and weighing about 140 pounds wet, lift that much weight was mind-blowing. She lifted over 600% of her original max!

"That was crazy!?" She laughed.

"This is what Chi does to the body," Nick smiled, as he moved over to a Wack-a-Pyjak arcade game, "Now let's test your speed, again it will be at your previous max." Nick made the game the last time we were in the Citadel, I thought it was just a fun thing to have, guess Nick had other plans for it. He used it to test our hand-eye coordination and reaction speed, I got a decent score and reached level 6, which Nick labeled as a specialist, Shepard reached Level 7 for N7, Joker reached level 8 for Spectre, Ava reached level 9 which was called Elf Ranger. There were higher levels, but no one reached them, the lowest score was 1, Drunk.

Watching Lia'Vael reach level 5 beating her previous score of 3 in quick order was a little daunting, it's like she skipped months of training in less than a day. The game ended with her at level 5, but she was really close to the next level, a little more training and she could easily catch up to me, I'm not going to lie to myself, I was a little jealous, I had to get my skill by punching Geth and creeps, she got Her's from some Space wizard.

"Not bad~, Now let's test some memory," Nick called out, "Look here~," he flashed her a piece of paper for less than a second. "What was the fifth word?"

"Banana."

"8th?"

"Eyebrow."

"How many words were there?"

"... 38."

"Very good~. Now we are going to do some hopscotch, as you land, you'll need to call out a word after every hop," Nick ordered, as a white outline marked itself on the floor with different numbers on it.

"When are we getting our upgrade?" Zaeed huffed, watching Lia'Vael hopping around and calling out words.

"You want magic powers Zaeed?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know about magic but lifting nearly a quarter of a ton wouldn't be too bad~, and let's not forget that girl isn't a trained soldier, she doesn't have the skills or experience we do, you've seen the elf with the metal hand, she outperformed us in every one of Walter's little tests. At this point we're just slowing them down," he huffed. He did have a point, even Lyna, who wasn't even a fighter, could take us down with some effort.

"Yeah~, but we can't just go over there and ask," Garrus muttered.

We sat quietly watching Lia'Vael doing sprints from one end of the Shuttle Bay at blinding speeds, Before Shepard stood to his full height, "Shepard?" I asked, he ignored me and walked over to Nick.

He was talking to Nick about something, but they were talking too quietly for me to hear, sometimes I miss my mask's ability to read lips. Shepard said something that made Nick laugh, before pointing to Grunt who was learning to shoot a fireball from his mouth from Astral and Sky. Shepard took a moment crossing his arms thinking of something.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Kasumi asked.

"Walters's too unconventional, if Shepard is asking for Upgrade, Walters will counter with something crazy making Shepard second guess his actions," Mordin pointed out.

"Oh yes, Nick loves messing with people," Zevran teased, drinking some water. Zevran has only been here for a few days, but he fit right in like he was always part of our crew for years, assassins are scary.

"He believes that power should come with side effects," Leliana sighed. Leliana was... pretty, some would say too pretty. Did she have to walk like that? I didn't think hips could move like that.

"Or sacrifice," Zevran added, "Money sometimes works, but that's more for weapons and armor, sometimes magic lessons, if he's feeling bored."

"Unless you're a child, or what he calls them, Whipper snappers, because I'm certain his soul is as old as dirt, and he knows it," Lyna joked.

"Yeah~, where an adult needs to gain his approval and respect, Nick just gives kids whatever they want, part of it he because he thinks the young shouldn't be held to the same responsibilities as an adult, and that your youth shouldn't be filled with hardship," Ava nodded. "Our world isn't easy, you're forced to grow quickly or die, Nick hated that."

"Are you sure Walters doesn't 'like' kids too much?" Jenny huffed like she was telling a very ugly joke.

"Mmm! Did you know, that when you hang someone, you need to drop them from a high enough place for their neck to snap, otherwise, they just hang there, slowly suffocating to death, it could take hours maybe even days." Zevran muttered looking out over nothing, "There was a gang that kidnapped children and sold them to the richest noble for their pleasure." oh Keelah~, "When Nick found out, he hung them, all of them, from the nobles to the smallest gang member out in the main street of Denerim, they begged, and pleaded. 'Please, we'll give you anything you want', they gasped, but Nick didn't care, he didn't care that the people might see him as a monster, or demon, or an abomination, he made sure that everyone knew why they were dying. Any who tried to get them down joined them, 125 people died that day and were picked clean by birds. The rest of Ferelden got the message, no one was untouchable, and children were off limits. So, Ms. Jenny, if you wanna say that to Nick's face, I hope you're ready for the consequences, just because he sees you as a little sister doesn't mean he's not going to break every bone in your body for calling him something so disgusting." Zevran warned.

"The people of Thedas still talk about that," Leliana added, "I don't think I've ever seen Nick that angry; I hope you never see Nick that angry; he was like a volcano that looked ready to blow only for it to freeze, I still feel the sense of Death, everything and everyone was about to die and all you could do was watch, you couldn't stop it, you couldn't run, you couldn't even pray. The world just... stood there, waiting to die," she shivered. I over to Nick, it didn't look like anything could affect him, as if he could phase through any attempt the Galaxy might use to hurt or annoy him, but he's still... mortal.

"Something's happening," Zaeed huffed.

Shepard nodded at Nick before shaking hands. Nick gave a whistle getting Grunt's attention, waving him over, before they talked some more, Grunt pointed at Lia'Vael, getting Nick to nod, before pointing to Sky, which Nick shrugged, there was more talking before Grunt nodded.

"What are you talking about?" Jacob asked before Nick placed a hand on Grunt and the room was flooded with light, catching all of us off guard. "Son of a bitch!"

"My eyes were wide opened!" I hissed, now I really missed my mask and its ability to polarize light.

"Like I said, he likes messing with people," Zevran hissed.

It took me a minute, but I was able to regain my vision, giving me the ability to see an 8-foot heavily muscular Krogan, before he let off a roar that dropped me to my butt holding my ears before he started laughing. "This is awesome!" He then unleashed a fireball from his mouth, which met a magical shield putting it out before it did any damage. "HOT! HOT! HOT!" Grunt panicked; he was saved by Nick shoving a Water spell down his throat.

"And what did we learn?" Nick asked.

"Don't get cocky?" Grunt huffed, smacking his mouth making sure his tongue was okay.

Nick laughed, "Good~, here," he passed Grunt a watermelon.

Grunt didn't hesitate, munching on his snack, "Man~, these are the best! Like water, but better cuz you can chew it!"

"Careful with those Grunt, Wrex got addicted to that stuff," Shepard warned.

Grunt waved him away, "Ba~, I'll be fine, it's only one."

Now that I had a better look at him, I noticed that his head plates ended in spikes, and his armor had runes running through them. Now I wondered if this was what some Legendary Krogan heroes looked like.

"Dagna, can you finish Lia's tests, I need to make sure Grunt gets enough food. Lyna~, can you take over my spot?" Nick called out to Lyna, who responded with a thumbs up, Nick waved goodbye as he and Grunt took the lift up to the 3rd floor.

"What the hell was that?" I asked Shepard as I walked over to him.

"Mmm? Oh, I asked Nick if he could upgrade us," he shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Just like that?" Zaeed asked.

Shepard gave another shrug, "He said he needs Anderson's test results before he does any more humans and he gets to choose when he upgrades people, but he promised that everyone should be powered up before we take the fight passed the omega relay."

"... So, you just asked?" Jacob asked, trying to wrap the idea around his mind.

"Yeah, 8 out of 10 times it's the simplest and fastest way to get what you want, now if you would excuse me, I need to learn how to laugh like a douchebag," he muttered.

"A 'Noble'~," Sereda corrected, before laughing like an Asari villain in a blasto movie. "You laugh from the nose."

"I'm pretty sure that if I laugh like that, someone is going to punch me in the face," Shepard muttered.

"That's the point, Jonathan, you're taunting your Lessers, knowing that if they try anything you will have them and their families killed," Sereda explained. I sometimes forget that Sereda is a real-life princess, that told her Kingdom to grow up.

My life is weird.

-/-

Grunt POV

I can see everything, hear everything, smell everything. Before ,when I thought about how I would fight someone, flashes from Tank Mother would come to the front of my mind, but now, I could see glowing weak spots on my would-be opponent, it was strange. It was as if my mind subconsciously made it easier to fight those around me.

When I looked over to Nick, he was practically a huge glowing spot, he had no defenses up, but the moment I thought of attacking, everything went red, my own mind warning me that I wouldn't win, and retaliation would be brutal. Nick wasn't a threat until I made him a threat, it's like his was inviting all challengers with a big open target so when they get close, they would fall into his deadly trap. This gives him the ability to walk within a crowd without spooking anyone, smart. Personally, I would just rush everyone, I mean look at me, I'm huge! But I need to remember that Nick defeated me time and time again with little to no trouble.

I keep jumping into fights without thinking, I can't do that anymore, as a krogan of Clan Urdnot, I represent Wrex and my people, I need better control of my power.

"Nick?"

"Yeah, Grunt?" He passed me some raw broccoli; I like the crunch.

"I wish to learn your ability to harden."

"Harden? You mean armament Haki?" he asked, showing off his blackened fist.

I nodded, "I have seen you punch Krogan to death in a single blow."

"Mmm, maybe, this skill isn't something one can easily learn, it took Dagna months to get a decent grip on the skill, if you do this, expect failure after failure," he answered.

I nodded, "I am willing to learn."

"Alright we can start tomorrow, but for now eat up, you're looking like a twig~," he joked.

I looked nothing like a twig, I'm pure super krogan.

-/-

Nick POV

Lawson got annoyed at my actions again, at this point that was her default emotion nowadays, I feel a little bad about that, kind of, a smidge, an ounce... okay I don't really care, Lawson can kiss my ass. I understand that she had daddy issues, the fact that the Illusive man is super paranoid, and that she was pretty much just a lap dog for most of her life, but she can't just demand my respect, she needed to earn it.

The problem with that was her need to be in charge, she needed to be perfect and a crazy space wizard that gave people superpowers because he felt like it wasn't meshing well with her carefully made plans. Ba~, it's fine, I'm teaching her how to improvise, or at least die trying.

Grunt's training into Haki was moving along rather quickly, teaching Dagna gave me a decent place to where to start. Teaching him to feel his Chi through his body came much easier than I thought it would, I believe it came naturally due to the krogans already having the massive will to face untold odds, but also because Grunt is pure Krogan with the genes of dozens of other well-known warlords.

He was just having some trouble molding his Chi and Will into a barrier. I don't blame him, the idea itself is nebulous at best, how does one mold their will, what does it feel like, and how do you know if it's working? So, I used the only method I knew worked.

Combat.

Well, it was less combat and more allowing me to be a punching bag and using my Inspiration skill for three days.

"Please tell me that's not all the mighty super krogan has~," I teased to huffing Grunt. His hands were bleeding. I kept the Haki rebound to a minimum, but Grunt needed to feel every failed attack.

"SHUT UP!" he roared, dashing forward and delivering a mean right hook, which I countered with my own.

Strength contest!

Urdnot Grunt Vs Nick Walters

Haki Rebound!

Urdnot Grunt has not used Haki, but counters with Chi! Chi matched! Grunt counters with strength! Strength matched!

Victor: Nick Walters!

Urdnot Grunt has been struck with 50 points of rebound damage!

"RAAR!" he roared backing away, nursing his bruised fist. "Damnit," he hissed, allowing his Regen to fix his hand.

"IS THAT IT GRUNT!? IS THAT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE KROGAN!?" I taunted. "SOME HALF-ASS EFFORT!? WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THAT PRIDE!? WHERE IS THE KROGAN THAT LOOKED AT A THRESHER MAW IN THE FACE AND LAUGHED!? YOU COME AT ME WITH BARELY HALF YOUR STRENGTH, NO! I NEED ALL OF IT! EVERYTHING YOU GOT, NO HOLDING BACK, YOU NEED TO COME AT ME WITH THE WILL TO KILL! HAKI IS NOTHING LESS, IT'S VICTORY OR DEATH! IT IS THE WILL OF EVERY KROGAN THAT STOOD BEFORE EXTINCTION AND TOLD IT TO RUN! THAT THE KROGAN PEOPLE WILL NOT FALL! NOT TO NUKES, OR RACHNI, OR THE COUNCIL, NOT TO THE GENOPHAGE, NOT TO TIME ITSELF! Get up," I hissed, "You need to want this more than life itself, grab whatever strength you have left and tell the galaxy it needs to do better." I growled, allowing my Haki to grow up my hand covering my whole arm, "I grow tired of this Grunt, right here right now, show me what it is to be Krogan, show me your will to live, when the galaxy demands your death. Because I won't waste my breath anymore, show me that you want this, show me~," I unleashed my intimidation skill flooding the room, "EVERYTHING!" I launched myself forward.

Just for a moment, I saw it, Fear. Grunt was scared, I was coming and nothing was going to stop me, no one was going to save him, he only had himself, and just as quickly as it appeared it vanished. His face scrunched into a rictus of rage, of pure defiance, if Death has come for him, he wasn't going to go quietly into that good night.

"RAAAAAR," his roar was primal, like a wounded beast that challenged the storm gods above, showing them that his injuries weren't enough to make it kneel.

Our fists met.

Haki contest!

Urdnot Grunt Vs Nick Walters

Haki matched! Chi matched! Strength matched!

TIE! Damage mitigated!

Grunt stood at his full height towering over me breathing heavily, just looking down at me. I reached out and grabbed him, stopping him from falling over.

"Good job Grunt, you're probably the first Krogan in history to unlock your Haki."

"Heh, heh, heh," he wheezed. "Let's, go, again~."

That got a chuckle out of me, "You're out of Chi~, you can't even move. Take a moment to rest and eat, we'll continue tomorrow." He just slumped onto my shoulder. "Ugh~, these damn whipper snappers, why can't I have normal non-prodigy apprentices." I cracked my bones.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Dagna came rushing over with some of the crew. The room was a mess, things were tossed all over the place, and everyone was looking at me like I was crazy.

"I'm guessing things got a little crazy~," I teased.

"A bit, but I'm just happy you unlocked his Chi this way~," she teased.

"Last I checked you were having a good time when you unlocked your Haki~," I teased.

"Yes, but I doubt the others will be as excepting of Grunt~," she giggled.

I joined her, "Come on let's get this big baby to bed, I wanna test your Haki~," her blush was beautiful.

She pushed me slightly, "Hurry up then!" she ordered, running off ahead.

"Yes, Ma'am~!"

-/-

Nick POV

"Alright Shep, I know one and a half weeks isn't a lot of time to prepare, but it's game day! You ready?" I asked from outside his dressing room in the Men's bathroom on the third floor.

"Why are you so invested?" Garrus asked.

"Wha? John or his alias, Solomon Gunn, is wearing one of my handmade suits, it has enough runes to stop a tank round, before having to recharge, as well as make him a fashion icon. There is going to be a lot of evil people at that party, and if they like my stuff you better believe they'll pay up the nose for their own," I huffed.

"You have weird priorities~," He drawled.

"Hey, the more money we have and the less they have can only be a good thing,"

he shrugged at my logic, "I guess."

"Alright~," the dress door opened, revealing Mr. Gunn in a modified tux, it had a bit of a retro look with a bowtie, dress shirt, shoes, and pants. His suit had a bit more of a future aesthetic, with the fake symbol for Kasumi's made-up merc group. I had him grow a beard and hair, that I neatly cut, Shepard may have been killed but he was still an icon in Council space, and with Bekenstein being a stone's throw away from the Citadel, we had to change up his look.

"Looking sharp!" I complimented, before passing him one last thing.

"Glasses?" He put them on.

"Kent glasses, Julee and I created them, they're meant to make it hard for people to remember your face, it's not perfect but it should keep people from just knowing your you. Now come on we have one last check."

"I still don't know why I'm doing this?"

"It's important," I answered, grabbing his bow tie and bending it out of place, "this is how we'll know it's good enough."

"It's dumb."

"Get ready to eat your words~." I opened the doors to the hallway lined with some of the female crew, who locked eyes with Shepard's body. There were a lot of red faces as the commander walked by, reaching the elevator, we went up to the second floor.

"No one did anything~, I'm telling you it's dumb," Shepard huffed.

"Wait for it~, your Commander 'goddamn' Shepard, many women are intimidated," I answered.

The doors to the CIC opened to more of the crew, again everyone just stared at Shepard as we passed. It wasn't until we reached the neck of the ship, where the rest of the ground crew was, that we were stopped.

"Hey, dumbass!?" Jenny barked, walking up to Shepard, "Your stupid bowtie is crooked," she muttered, fixing it into place.

Shepard looked all kinds of flustered, "I... thank you, Jack," he whispered to her.

"Whatever," she huffed looking away, oh gosh~, she had a light blush. She turned at my snickering, "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS WALTERS!?" she hissed, raising her glowing fists at me.

"No~, sorry I ruined your husband-and-wife moment~," I teased, phasing through the kick she launched into my crotch.

"Just you wait Nick, I'm gonna learn how you do that, and I'm gonna kick your ass." she hissed.

"Is it before or after your marriage~," I continued to tease, "Don't you worry, I'll walk you down the aisle~."

"One of these days Walters, just you wait," she growled.

"Later please, I need both of these idiots now~," Kasumi called out shooing Jenny away.

"What are you wearing?" I asked.

"What?" she looked down at her normal outfit.

"What the hell do you mean, 'What'? You look like you're going to rob a bank!? We're going to a party! Go get dressed, for, a, party~," I hissed.

"I don't have party clothes," she shrugged.

"Wha? This was your plan!? Did you think you could just walk in with a high-tech stealth suit?" I gawked.

"Rich people tend to be pretty dumb," she shrugged.

"That's not an excuse!" I hissed, before sighing, "Lily, Can you please." I passed her one of my new armors. "And make sure she knows how to use it!"

"You know she was probably lying about not having a dress," Zevran pointed out.

"She better have been~," I sighed, "otherwise I would have really yelled at her." I took a second to my clothes to mold into something resembling Shepard's N7 armor just with a fake symbol where the N7 was. Jak came over and gave it a few toughs making sure it was on tight, before giving me a light kiss.

"Have I ever told you your magic is ridiculous?" Jeff joked.

"Yes, I think you said it when you were staring at your wife's butt for your whole 10-minute jog this morning," I smiled.

"Wha! I! No! What? I didn't! Look... for that long," he muttered.

"Do you like my posterior Jeff?" EDI asked.

"No! Yes! No! What answer do you want for these questions to stop!?" Joker whined.

"The truth!" EDI demanded cupping Joker's face and bringing his face inches from hers.

"... your breath smells like onions." Joker!? Come on~.

"... I wanted to know what an onion tasted like..." EDI~, brush your teeth!

"... and?" Joker asked.

"... a bit sour, and crunchy like an apple, it stung my eyes. Are you going to kiss me now?" A bit straightforward EDI but best not to beat around the bush.

"Not with that breath~." Joker huffed, pushing her away. I see Joker's still playing hard to get, but it seems like EDI likes the chase.

"Just fuck already," Jenny huffed, causing Joker to blush and stutter.

"I'm trying Jenifer, but Jeff is a man you need to wine and dine," EDI deadpanned, "... That was a joke."

"How? How is that a joke?" Jeff huffed.

"I'm ready!" Kasumi called out walking into the CIC wearing her hair up in a bun, a black dress that reached her shins with a cut that reached just above her hips, making it seem like she didn't have any underwear, with a single strap around her right shoulder, and a cut coming up from her hip. "How am I looking?" she smirked.

"Like a woman who's about to rob a rich asshole. Your glasses~," I passed her a pair of Kent glasses, and put her stealth suit into my inventory.

"Alright, Miranda, as XO you're in charge until I get back, don't do anything stupid," Shepard warned.

"You can trust me, commander."

"Gardner remember to give Lia and Grunt snacks until dinner!" I called out.

"Yes, head chef."

-/-

Quest: No Mr. Gunn~, I expect you to die~. Kasumi has asked you for your help retrieving her 'friend's' greybox from his killer Donovan Hock. Black tie required

Reward: 50,000 credits, 50,000 Exp, 1 gold loot box, 1 gacha token, and friendly with Kasumi Goto

Flying toward the party, I decided to start the last debriefing, "Alright," I pulled out a Walther LK with a suppressor, with enough runes to punch through armor like butter, and passed it to Shepard, "You got 20 shots before it needs to cool, and has enough force to put down a charging Krogan, and it's silenced, nothing, not even a mouse, is going to hear you." I also passed Kasumi, her own pistol.

"They won't take it away?" he asked.

"No," Kasumi answered, "These are some of the nastiest people in the galaxy, sure Hock won't let you walk in there with a rocket launcher, but a pistol is fine." she lifted her dress a little allowing me a good look of her thigh, before strapping her gun to a holster, before snapping her eyes to mine and smirking,

I gave an embarrassed cough, "The statue of your old buddy Saren should be there by now, it has a tracker so we can find where he's going to stash it, I have your weapons and armor in my Hammerspace, I'll return them when were reach a safe destination, or if shit hits the fan," I shrugged.

"Nick, you're fully armored, are they even going to let you in?" Shepard asked.

"No, I'm a red herring, I'll be big and intimidating, giving Hock a false sense of superiority when he sends me away, making him feel like you're unprotected. I'll then create an illusion of myself, turn invisible, and follow behind you," I answered.

"Right, are you guys ready?"

"Of course, Mr. Gunn~," we called out.

Hock's mansion was ridiculous, not that it wasn't nice, in fact, it was one of the most beautiful houses I have ever seen, but at some point, you have to realize you are living in an evil lair. The mansion was on a rock in the middle of a lake with a couple of AA guns and a butt ton of Mercs.

I took the lead, stepping out of the car and securing the area, giving Shepard and Kasumi the green light. One of the dozen mercs came up to us gun pointed at our feet, "Name?" he ordered.

"Put that thing away before I shove it down your throat," I growled, channeling my inner Zaeed.

"What was that?" the guard growled.

I took a step forward, slapping the gun from his hands and grabbed him by his armor, so he could look me in the eyes. "I said put your stupid toy away before I shove it down your fucking throat, you unprofessional sack of shit. You're a goddamn rent-a-cop, point a weapon at Mr. Gunn or his date and I'll skin you alive and bathe you in salt." I shoved the guard onto the floor, "Anyone else wants to risk their lives for minimum wage?" I asked unleashing my intimation skill just a bit.

"My, my, what's happening here?" Well love me tenderly, Hock was as stupid looking as he was in the game, stupid white outfit, thick accent, super square head, very thing about him made me want to slap the stupid off his face.

"Your pet doesn't know how to treat guests, pointing guns at them. You should teach them how to act," I huffed.

"Rogers, relax, I'm fine. Solomon Gunn, I trust you heard of me," those lessons came in handy, Shepard sounded just the right amount of prideful and asshole that Hock was vibing with.

"Ah yes, the new mercenary leader that has been causing waves in the terminus, I read about your exploits." he looked over to the rest of his guards, "is there a problem?"

"No sir, we just didn't know who he was, and that guard got hostile," one of the guards hissed at me.

"Watch your words vermin," this time I opened the floodgates, getting the guards to shake, "You dumbasses don't know how to do the simplest of fucking jobs, check a fucking list, I feel bad for your parents having to raise a fucking failure like the lot of you. I should do Mr. Hock a favor and remove you from his payroll."

"Rogers~," Shepard drawled.

I leashed my intimidation skill and backed off, "I apologize, Mr. Gunn, I just find this level of incompetence dangerous to your health." I gave a light bow.

"I understand, but Mr. Hock hired them for his party, a man of his stature would not hire subpar guards, this is a very important day for him, and they just want to make sure he's safe," Shepard acted. "I'm sorry for my guard Mr. Hock, but you can't be too safe in my line of work."

"I understand, but you must understand that I can't have a heavily armed guest enter my home, that would just make everyone want to bring their own," Hock drawled.

"Completely, Rogers, take the car around and wait for my call," Shepard ordered.

"Yes sir," I eyeballed the guards, "If anything happens to Mr. Gunn, I will kill all of you." was my final threat, the next part was a little tricky, I created an illusion of myself over myself, then turned invisible, have the illusion get in the driver's side press the return button at the same time, and let it fly off.

"Enjoy the party, Mr. Gunn," Hock gave a small smirk and wave, not giving Kasumi a single glance. I gave Shepard a light tap to his shoulder telling him I was there.

The mansion looked as luxurious inside as it did outside, everything was some sort of marble and gold, there was a God damn fountain in the middle of the damn house, and there was a balcony that stared out into the city with another fountain! Man~, the future is pretty cool. Kasumi and Shepard mingled a bit letting Hock's goons move the statue to a holding cell under one of his fountains, which of course led down to his vault, Hock was way too cocky, he had a little gloat fest about how impossible it was for anyone but himself to enter his vault.

With the room cleared I got to work removing cameras and recorders.

"We got 30 seconds before a guard comes down here," I whispered, as a countdown appeared in the corner of my vision.

"Hock wasn't kidding about the security, we need to cut the power to the kinetic barrier, a password that only his voice can say, and a sample of his DNA for the scanner," she explained.

"Wall," I ordered, casting an illusion over us making us invisible, just as a guard walked into the room.

"And nothing~, I swear Hock has been skimping on his equipment lately, this is the third time this week," the guard complained, "The Vault entrance is clear, just another glitch, I'm heading back to control for new cameras," he spoke into his comms.

"Well, hurry up, Chief Roe is pissed, one of the guards fucked up outside and is giving them the riot act, Hock got jumpy and has changed every code in the place."

"Again!? That's like the 10th this week!" the guard groaned, "I nearly didn't make it to the bathroom last time."

"He's not taking any chances after those two thieves nearly broke in a month ago. Just come get the damn cameras." the comms went dead.

"Whatever man~," he muttered walking out of the room.

"He's mine," I whispered, placing a repealing rune on the vault door, keeping anyone from wanting to enter the room. The guard lead me to a room filled with cameras with two other guards sitting back drinking coffee, bored out of their minds.

"Alright give me the codes, I don't want to dance around in front of the Bathroom again," my guard huffed. One of them just laughed and pointed to the monitor on the far end. "So, who's being yelled at?"

"Wilson~, dumbass greeted one of the guests with his rifle, nearly got his ass kicked." one of the guards laughed looking at the camera, as the same dude I slapped down was being berated by a woman in similar armor.

"Of course, it's Wilson, if Roe wasn't his cousin, he would have been fired by now." The moment the guard added his code into the computer I cast Sleep, it was a simple spell but damn was it useful. As the guard limped over, I moved them into simple poses anyone walking in wouldn't second guess, I also put sunglasses on them.

"Perfect~," I muttered, they'd be out for at least two hours. I quickly looked through the passwords landing on Peruggia for the Vault passcode and recording Chief Roe's voice. Making my way out, I walked into Hock giving a grand speech about how his evilness makes the world go round, I didn't really care, I took that moment to jam the door, making it nearly impossible for them to get out without some cutting equipment.

As Hock kept talking, I took a look around finding Kasumi disabling the electrical grid to the vault's door, I slowly shadowed her, tapping her twice on her fingers, "I have the password and knocked out the guards in the security room, but I think we should pick up the pace, I don't know how long it will take for the guards to find out something is wrong." I whispered.

She gave a small nod, turning off her Omni-tool having enough of Hock's voice to accurately synthesize his voice. Walking back to the vault entrance we waited for Shepard to show back up.

"That's two~," Kasumi sighed, "know all we need is to find some of Hock's DNA."

"I doubt I can silently chop off a finger," I huffed.

"As fun as that would be, we can find some in his bedroom. All we need is access," Kasumi muttered.

"Go around?" Shepard asked.

I shook my head, "Too many guards, I already messed with the cameras, if people start going missing, shit's going to hit the fan. How many mercs are guarding Hock's private Quarters?"

"One, Hock didn't want to look scared in front of his guests," Kasumi answered.

"What are we getting access to?" I asked. "I found over a dozen passcodes," I sent the codes through email.

"Op! This one. Code Flander: suit guard doing a patrol," Shepard pointed out.

"What if they ask for identification?" Kasumi asked.

"... we have 'Chief Roe' give us clearance~," I smirked sending Kasumi a copy of Roe yelling at Wilson. Which she smirked to.

Getting Shepard and Kasumi passed the single guard was simple, the code along with the fake order from Roe let us into Hock's private quarters, stepping into the room I checked for any camera or microphone before decloaking, "We're clear, it seems like Hock liked his privacy." We began searching his room, finding the DNA wasn't too hard, we also robbed his small wall safe, for a cool 60,000 creds. Getting back to the Vault door took some time, I may have made Shepard's suit too well. There was a lot of pompous laughter, Fake jokes, and promises to keep in touch no one meant.

"You took your time~," Kasumi smirked, she was already dressed in her stealth suit, she morphed my armor into a skintight exo-skin for extra protection.

"My tailor made me a suit that caught everyone's eye~," he huffed, taking his armor from me, just like Kasumi's outfit, Shepard's suit morphed into an exo-skin.

"We'll be swimming in money in no time~," I teased.

"You're already swimming in money," he huffed, strapping on his armor.

"Yes, but I wanna drown in it. We ready?" I asked, getting a nod from both of them, before I pressed the only other button in the elevator.

.

.

.

"Oh, for the love of-" The elevator took 5 minutes for us to reach the bottom floor. "That sucked."

"Yeah, I've been spoiled by the elevators on the Normandy," Kasumi whined. "whoa~." Hock's Vault was huge! Sure, you get to see it in the game but seeing it in real life is something else, "How the hell did Hock steal Lady Liberty's head!? Damn you, Hock! Damn you straight to hell!" Getting a quick layout of the room I found an emergency exit at the far end of the room under the head of lady liberty, the rest of the room was dozens of aisles of valuable artifacts. The British Museum would huff in envy and pride at all the historical artifacts hidden away in here.

There was the original Michelangelo's David, turian art, Asari and Hanar stuff, there were hundreds of things in here! In the game, there were a dozen, maybe two. "Shepard, we're looting all of this right?"

"I'm rather confident that if we pick up anything some alarm is going to sound out. We should find the Grey box before we touch anything," he ordered.

My observation skill was going crazy, most of this stuff was worth a fortune. I passed a stone table.

Ancient Quarian tablet

A limestone tablet carved in ancient Khelish, that talks about the hero Seesin'Xees and his journey to find the land of hope.

New Quest: Let me read you a story. Much of the Quarian's history has been lost after the Morning War, find and deliver the stone tablets to the Quarin people.

0/5 stone tablets

Warning: all tablets are within this room, leaving without them will scatter the tablets throughout the Galaxy.

Reward: friendly with the Quarian people, 50,000 EXP, 1 gold loot box, 30,000 Credits, 1 gacha token.

Fuck~, a fetch quest.

I'm just going to have all the golems I have, shove things into their expanded chests.

"I found it!" Kasumi called out, she was standing in front of a work desk under the gaze of Lady Liberty. I'm going to have to steal that too. "And guns~." She started downloading the grey box's data as we got there. Unlike in the game, there was no giant holographic floating Wizard of Oz head. "Got it!"

"Can you check it? I don't like the quiet," I muttered, paranoia creeping up into my mind. She paused and looked through her grey box.

"It looks like everything is here." DANGER! ABOVE! I quickly grabbed Shepard and Kasumi and jumped away, as twin laser beams shot out of Lady Liberty's eyes striking the spot we were just at.

"Holy shit!" I screamed as I dodged lasers and jumped into the maze of priceless artifacts and art pieces, causing the lasers to stop firing, "Kasumi~, is Hock a crazy cartoon supervillain?" I asked, shoving things into my inventory.

"Uh, it looks like it~, I thought he was just a rich asshole, I swear!" she huffed. "... Are you stealing things? At a time like this?"

"You're one to talk~," I huffed, as she was also shoving things into her pockets.

"I can only take small things, you have your own pocket dimension, it's not the same," she hissed. "Give me a bag of holding," she ordered.

"Not even a please~," I huffed but passed her one anyway, I could only shove so many things at once. She then shoved an entire shelf in the bag by accident giving the head a clear look at us. DANGER! Yes, I see it! Grabbing my two would-be partners and jumping behind another shelf dodging a laser beam.

"What the hell was that!?" I screamed.

"Don't you scream at me, you idiot! I have no idea how this thing works!" Kasumi countered.

"It works with intent! The shelf was less than a hundred feet and weighed less than 3 tons, so the Bag just sucked it up!" I explained.

She just looked at the bag in awe, "... and you didn't give me one sooner~," she hissed, pinching my cheeks.

"Don't you try and make this my fault!" I hissed back, pinching her cheeks.

"HEY! FOCUS! We have the head of freedom shooting laser beams at us!" Shepard ordered.

"That's probably the most American thing I have ever heard~," Kasumi joked.

"We won't be in trouble if we destroy it will we, isn't this thing some kind of ancient artifact?" I asked, pulling out my Gauss Rifle.

"Try an aim for the eyes" he ordered, popping behind cover and shooting the head in the eye, causing sparks to fly.

"Nice shot!" I screamed, taking a shot missing by a hair. The head then began to float in the air, "What the damn hell!?"

"It must have some kind of mass effect engine removing its weight and allowing it to move!" Kasumi explained.

"That's a load of hogwash!" I whined, shoving more things into my inventory.

"DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD JUST ROB ME!?" the head screamed in Hock's voice.

"Yeah, kinda~," I huffed. "What gave us away!? I know it's not the time, but I'd like to think we did a pretty good job sneaking in here."

"The Vault's floor is a pressure plate, the moment you walked in here I got an alert," he laughed. "I must admit the way you got in here was amazing, I didn't suspect a thing, one minute I was talking to Mr. Gunn, and the next thing I knew you were robbing me. I can only guess you are Ms. Goto or should I call you 'little bird'?" Hock laughed.

A look of rage etched itself on Kasumi's usually smirking face, "He dies." was the only thing she said.

"Now, as much as I loved this little distraction, I have a party to get back to, and thanks to you Ms. Goto, I can now use your Grey box to unlock all your little boyfriends' secrets. I couldn't ask for a better birthday present~."

"Gods he's annoying," I peeked from cover.

Lady Liberty's head

Durability 749/4,000

Weakness:

Brittle

Fractured metal

Weathered

The Statue of Liberty was the target of several terrorist attacks over its 210-year lifetime, but in 2096, a motley group called Freedoms First finally brought the statue down. Protesting the induction of Canada and Mexico into the United North American States, the New York chapter of Freedoms First wanted a symbol that they would secede from this new union if necessary.

Okay~, that only tells me the shell's durability, that isn't going to work, so I just placed True Strike on the head's guns, taking a shot my bullet curved and shot it right in the eye.

"Your very annoying," he growled, "Ah~, Dalatrass Linron it brings me great joy to see you arrive."

"Motherfu-! Are you still at your party!?" I screamed, the nerve of this guy, putting us behind in his lists of party priorities.

"Roe, I have some guests in the lower Levels can you take care of them, and don't break anything, or I'm selling your men," Hock warned.

"You can count on me Mr. Hock," Roe's voice came over the comms. "So, you're the vermin causing all the trouble~," the head's mouth swung open, and a large Rotary gun popped out.

"That's so stupid~," I sighed, taking more shots at the head before I dashed away. Roe didn't give a flying flip about any of the stuff in the room, forcing me to loot and run. "Have you lost your mind!? You're destroying the loot!"

"All I see is a bunch of thieves wrecking up the place," she laughed, yeah, she was bananas. The gun exploded thanks to Shepard's and Kasumi's combined onslaught. "DELTA TEAM! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" the head powered down letting gravity take hold and fall to the floor.

"the hell? That's it? Three guns and it's just a floating rock?" I asked.

"Are you complaining?" Shepard asked.

"I'm just saying if you're going to disfigure a country's most powerful symbol of freedom, I would think they would do more," I shrugged, shoving more things into my inventory.

"Not all of us have magic~, Nick. Just putting an engine to get it to lift was mind-blowing," Shepard huffed keeping an eye on the exit.

"And the fact it didn't just bounce around the room must mean that the hardware must be advanced," Kasumi huffed. "Can you steal the head?" she asked shoving another shelf into her bag

"Mmm, that's a good question," quickly dashing over to the head grabbing it popping out of existence. "... this is my most powerful ability I have, isn't it~?" I muttered to myself. You know, I've had my power for over 3 years now, and haven't really put it through its paces, sure I put some big stuff in my inventory, but that's if that piece is destroyed, my power treats it like loot. I've never just shoved a full house into my inventory, would that even work? Can I just shove Mother Base into my inventory? Would that mess with my powers? You know what~, these are questions for later.

"We need to leave," Shepard called out.

"Whoa! Hold on! We're like 10% of the way through this!" I countered, putting another stone tablet into my inventory.

"We don't have the time."

I summoned every Golem I had, earth, cement, stone, and steel, all rounding up to about 2,000, before ordering them to put down any armed Merc heading this way, "I'll make time," I tossed him a bag, "if we leave this stuff here most of it will be lost somewhere, most likely stolen, if you feel bad we could just give it to Anderson and he could use it to gain good will with other races, getting them to join our bandwagon."

"Hey! I found one of your old Ship models!" Kasumi called out to holding up a burnt-up ship, Shepard's initials painted on the side.

"... Take everything!" he hissed, joining us by shoving things into his bag. Every time the bag would fill, I would take it and give them another, any large sculpture was left for me. It took another 30 minutes, but we got everything that wasn't nailed down. There was a hell of a firefight on the other side of the door, I had no doubt it was crazy cinematic, filled with desperate mercs fighting a flood of golems trying to make every shot count, but unlike fleshy mortals that stop moving after being shot, golems were made of hard metal, Dirt, and magic, and shooting with something that meant to pierce wasn't going to stop them, you needed stopping power. Hammers, swords, magic, bombs, shit your fist would do a better job than a bullet the size of a grain of sand.

So, it wasn't much of a surprise that we found dozens of mercs either unconscious with broken bones or dead from sword strikes.

"Oof, a lot more guys than I thought here be~," we walked past the injured and the dead. We would occasionally walk through a broken section of a wall. "Hey? Should I take these tanks?" I asked.

"They're Makos and we don't really need them," Shepard pointed out.

"We probably don't need all those mechs I looted either, but if we have it, he doesn't. Besides, he lives on an island, what is he going to do, take it out for a ride? It's a tank~," I placed it in my inventory, I've been taking everything not nailed down, and some things that were nailed down, I just plucked them from the floor and walls. Hock also just had barrels of fuel everywhere, which can't be normal, sure they're in his underground base, but like, be responsible man, that shit's dangerous.

"I just feel that at this point you're just taking things," he pointed out, checking his corners, "I understood the vault, but now you're just grabbing things."

"I kinda am~, it comes with being an adventurer, money doesn't grow on trees, and most military Powers are willing to buy pre-made weapons because they tend to cost less than making them. And I'm confident that we are going to need every single weapon we can get our hands on, I have a deal with Anderson, saying that the alliance gets first pick on used weapons, and he told me that as long as I'm with you, my goods are good. I also want to buy a fighter ship~," I pointed out.

"A fighter?" Shepard asked.

"Yep~, I need to test the hyperspace engine, and I seriously doubt EDI's going to let us test it on the Normandy," I pointed out.

"I wouldn't be happy with it either you know," he drawled.

I shrugged, "Yeah, but I'm not slapping a hyperspace engine on your back and launching you into the great unknown. Besides, spaceships are cool."

"You don't think Hock has his own Ship?" Kasumi asked.

"Mmm, maybe, but we can't be here all day busting down doors until we find them," I sighed before we heard an explosion up ahead, rushing forward we found Roe shooting a rocket launcher into a group of my earth golems, "you know the fun thing about my earth golems, they're made of earth~." I stamped my foot and earth bent the remains of my golems into a huge pile creating another golem nearly 10 feet tall and built like a boulder, rushing forward chasing the retreating mercs.

"You know, sometimes I don't see it because you tend to be a bit of a goof, but you can be really scary sometimes," Kasumi muttered.

"Thanks~," I smiled. We followed the Golems' march of destruction, for another 10 minutes we sped walked through the underground hideout finally reaching some kind of Cave hanger bay with a waterfall entrance filled with Gunships, Makos, and "Hey look a ship!" I pointed out, "Looks like I'm not going to waste any money~."

"Really~, you just looted enough treasure to buy a moon and you're still acting like a miser?" Kasumi asked.

"True, but Shepard's a do-gooder and is going to make us return most of it. That one looks fancy~," I pointed to a slick two-sitter with big ol' thrusters and a long nose, it almost looked like an X-wing if it hit the gym.

Shepard actually let out a gasp, "That's a Puma X-7~,"

I looked over to Kasumi who just shrugged, "Uh, cool~."

"You don't understand, the X-7 is where we got the modern F-61 Trident fighter~." He was touching it in a way that made me a bit uncomfortable. "There were only 150 of them made, they were too expensive, the armor too thick, the engine was experimental, and the shields were way too powerful for a ship this size. I only got to see one in a museum in Arcturus station."

"So... we're taking it, right~?" I asked.

"Joker would fly us into a star if we don't," he answered before I stored it in my inventory.

"Are you finished poking through my home?" Hock's voice came over the intercoms.

"Not really, I'm still planning on looting everything in here, and you know... kill you," I shrugged.

"Why wait~." DANGER! ABOVE! Grabbing my partners, I jumped away as a huge robot fell from a trap door overhead. "I'm here now!" It looked like a feckin Metal Gear, bipedal, huge shoulder rockets, gun hands, with a visible cockpit on its chest with Hock in the pilot's chair with Roe behind him in the Co-pilots chair.

Alpha Thunderstrike R-84

Durability 6,000/6,000

The first fully tested mech that Donovan Hock commissioned to sell to the highest bidder. It has everything a mobile dealer of death needs to get the message across, standing at 30 feet, with over 100 homing rockets, heavy Machine guns, grizzly cannons for arms, and a self-repair system. Buy yours today~.

"John... that's a giant robot~," I pointed out.

"Yep~," he sighed. "I'm gonna need you to run some interference. Kasumi, you ever shot a Mako?" he nodded to the Tank.

"I'm a fast learner."

I left them to that. I had my own job to do. Dashing up into the air I shot a fireball right at the cockpit, but a shield came to life dissipating it, I seriously doubt that would do anything, but it did get Hock's attention, giving my tiny earth golems the chance to attack his shins, every little thing counts.

"I don't know who you are, but I'm going to have fun dissecting you. I wanna learn how you do all your fancy tricks, is it tech? Maybe you're just a rogue experiment? I can't wait to find out," he taunted.

"Why don't you come over here and find out~," I quickly changed into my Prime suit coming face to face with a surprised Hock. His shock didn't last long as he started shooting rockets at me. I really hope this place was reinforced.

While Hock had weaponry, he didn't have mobility, I stuck to hit-and-run tactics, launching Magic missiles, fireballs, and just about everything I could get my hands on, but Hock didn't skimp on his armor and shields, he just swallowed any damage I did before he unleashed a hail of rocket and machine gun fire, forcing me to dodge.

"I must admit your Power Armor is impressive~, tell me, how much did it cost you?" he asked trying to shoot me with tank rounds.

"Made it myself, nothing feels better than when something you made comes to life," I answered, flicking my wrist popped a blade out of my arm. Hock started unleashing a barrage of gunfire at me, his bot didn't have much in hand-to-hand combat, so keeping me away was a wise choice, unfortunately for him.

BOOM!

I wasn't alone.

Hock stumbled forward looking ready topple over but was able to correct himself as a hail of machine gun fire peppered his mech. A Mako came flying out of the air doing some crazy maneuvers I didn't think a tank could do. Taking advantage of the chaos I dashed forward stabbing into one of the shoulder rockets and ripping it off the mech before jumping away.

"Raaar!" Hock roared, swinging back trying to smack me with his arm cannons but I was already dashing away, it didn't stop him from trying to shoot me. "You damn vermin! You come to my house, destroy my base, steal my things, and you think you're going to make a fool out of me!?" This guy really liked the sound of his own voice. "DIE!" he screamed, as the mechs armor popped open with dozens of rockets and guns popping out of new crevices.

"Oh damn~," I muttered. DANGER! I started using my Dex to full effect dodging most rockets, but the gunfire was too much taking small rounds, luckily, I had shields of my own. Using the remains of some of my shattered earth golems I earth-bent all the rocks and dirt into his gun barrels, just trying to clog them, I would have used more earth bending, but everything was covered in steel, and I was afraid everything that wasn't was important so playing with it wasn't a good idea. I need to learn metal bending.

"Repairing! Give us a second!" Shepard called over the comms as his mako was hidden behind some turned-over junk, cars, and debris. Focusing on the earth in its pipes I bent the gun barrels out of place, it wasn't a lot but enough to force you to shoot from the hip.

"Bloody thieves!" Hock roared rushing me, forcing me to drop my blade and grapple him, it felt like I was wrestling a bull. "I'll grind your bones to dust and sell them to Vorcha as magic pills."

"Shut up already!" Using my Haki, I stood my ground and twisted so I slammed him into the ground face first, before I jumped on his back and started unleashing blows on his back, I was actually looking for an exhaust port, no matter how advanced something is it has to vent heat in some way, breaking that would ruin your day. He seemed to agree because he activated a pair of rocket thrusters launching us into the ceiling.

Outer shields shattered 0/100

Mid shields shattered 0/250

Inner shields 250/500

Ow~. I'm happy to see my Shimmering Shield working wonders.

Hock then released the thrusters letting us fall, trying to twist around trying to squash me again.

"Nope," I swung my giant metal boot in the thruster causing us to spin out of control. I let go before we hit the ground, but it still shattered my inner shield, leaving me with my Prime suit's built-in shield and armor. DANGER! Looking over I spotted the Mech flying right at me going for that headbutt, thankfully Shepard came riding in with a tank round right to the mech's shoulder knocking it off course into a wall.

Dashing forward I dropped kicked it in the chest cockpit, causing sparks and random guns to fire. Gods damnit this thing is tough. Suddenly the mech lit up before unleashing an EMP as its shield fell. Causing my systems to go haywire for a moment forcing me to switch to manual power, meaning I was feeding my suit my own Magic, I sure as hell wasn't going to be doing much.

"My controls are shot! I can't move!" Shepard called out.

"Hehehehe, you really gave me some trouble there, little bird~," Hock chuckled, "But it looks like I win~." The mech began to rise.

"Kasumi? Is the cannon working?" I asked.

"One shot, but I'm not in a good spot and the barrel can't move."

"Be ready, I got one shot at this before I run dry," I ordered, reaching over and lifting the mako and shoving its cannon in Hock's Cockpit.

"WHAT!?" even from where I was, I could see his shocked face

"I'm a fucking falcon, you rat fuck!" Kasumi roared shooting right into the cockpit causing it to explode and launching us away.

Mana crash! Wait time 15:00 minutes

Mana resilience Activated! Wait time 0 seconds.

Due to your hard work and effort, you have gained a new skill!

Improvised weaponry mastery – he killed three men... with a fuckin' pencil~. Fists, swords, guns~, that's a bit mundane don't you think, now a cup~, that's a real weapon. +5% damage with improvised weapons

You are unskilled, Rank initiative

"Holy shit~," I coughed, storing my Prime suit away. Allowing my Armor and Nartural MP regen to rapidly refuel, thank you MP runes, before I slowly got up, I walked over to the Mako and pride the hatch off. "How you guys doing?" I asked.

"Shepard flipped us while I was shooting~, how do you think I'm feeling?" Kasumi huffed, and I healed and helped her out.

"Them some crazy moves commander~," I teased as I pulled him out of the tank, healing his busted shoulder.

"N7 school only took the best," he muttered, taking out his pistol and aiming at the wreckage. "Is he dead?" Shepard asked.

"Not sure, but we should double tap," I answered, following his lead.

Everything was a wreck, and that wreck was on fire. Checking my notifications, I didn't get one for killing Hock, whether it was because I didn't take the shot or because he was still alive wasn't clear. I began dousing the flames with my use of Create Water, it took a moment, but we came face to face with a very sweaty huffing Roe holding up a Biotic field saving her and Hock from a fiery doom, too bad he got pinned in his chair.

"Parlay," Hock muttered, tired and in pain.

I shoved my left hand into the Biotic field, it stung and sapped some HP, but I could live with that as I started filling the sphere with water, "I heard drowning is the worst way to die~," I huffed, the water was already at his knees.

"You can't do this! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?" Hock screamed

Shrugging, "A corpse," I answered.

"I know people, dangerous people, if I die, they'll come after you," he buffed.

"You don't even know who I am~," I laughed.

"But I know her!" He pointed at Kasumi.

That got an even bigger laugh out of me, "You don't even know who that is either! You don't know a single goddamn thing." I stopped the water at his neck, looking over to Shepard for orders. "Mr. Gunn~, I believe Mr. Hock has been a rather ungracious host, how do you wish to handle this?"

"I CAN MAKE YOU RICH! MONEY, POWER, WOMEN! JUST LET ME GO!" Hock begged.

Shepard didn't say anything, just looked over to Kasumi.

"3 months Hock, I dreamed of this moment, I could still see Kenji's face as you stabbed him," she looked over to me, "Please lower this shield."

Reaching into my inventory with my left hand I summoned a pistol, much to Roe's shock, she didn't get say anything before her head exploded into a shower of blood, letting the water free drenching my armor, but that's okay, that's what runes are for. I waved away the pain of my hand being slightly cooked.

"Three months, what was so goddamn important that you got your own hands dirty? you know what~, I don't care." She pulled out her pistol and shot him in the face, once, twice, thrice, and another 17 more times until her pistol needed to vent. "Can we leave?" she muttered.

I brought her into a side hug and followed Shepard's lead.

With the party 'still' going the AA guns were offline so getting a pickup wasn't hard, I wonder what people would think after they find out their host is dead... probably nothing, most of them are the trash of the galaxy that became rich from the suffering of others, they might even party harder, one of their major competitors just died.

Quest completed: No Mr. Gunn~, I expect you to die~. Kasumi has asked you for your help retrieving her 'friend's' gray box from his killer Donovan Hock. Black tie optional~

Reward: 50,000 credits, 50,000 Exp, 1 gold loot box, 1 gacha token, and friendly with Kasumi Goto

-/-

Kasumi POV

The Kodiak was quieter than I would like. Killing Hock wasn't necessary, but damn did it feel good. That stupid face he made before he died made my day.

"Are you going to be okay?" Nick asked sitting across from me. I was holding on tightly to Keiji's gray box.

"Nick? if one of the girls died, and you had one more chance to see them, to hold them, would you, even knowing that it wasn't real?" I asked.

He gave me a long look, "I... don't know, but I do know that my anger and rage will blot out the stars, I would kill everyone and everything that led to their death. I... think I would, I would beg for forgiveness, but I would know the truth, it would only be a crutch, it would blind me to everything around me, and that wouldn't be fair to my other loved ones or myself. We can't live in a dream, no matter how beautiful, but if it's just for a moment, to apologize, to say goodbye... yeah, I would take it," he sighed, leaning back on to his seat. "But to be honest, I wouldn't know until I'm in that moment." he got up and plastered his rump next to me, draping his arm on the back of my chair, bringing me a bit of his warmth, "But, as long as I have some friends, I know I could move past it, Right John~."

Shepard sat to my left, "That's how I got past my dad dying. We're not going anywhere."

"God~, does the alliance teach their soldiers to be that sappy?" I quickly wiped away my tears. I stood up and looked at Keiji's gray box before activating it. The room around me faded to black before only Keiji appeared before me, even as a hologram he was handsome, the alliance knows how to make their soldiers look good.

"Kasumi~, my little bird, I... I am so sorry, I... went in too deep and learned something I shouldn't have. If you're watching this, one of two things must have happened, either you've finally got sick of me eating all your ramen noodles and hacked my brain for their whereabouts," Don't try and make me laugh you idiot. I wiped away more tears, stupid idiot. "If not then... I wasn't good enough at hiding myself away. Kasumi, I love you so much, I know this might be tough and unfair of me to ask, but you must delete everything in my gray box," DAMN IT! Damnit! Damnit. My knees went limp, but a pair of hands caught me before I hit the ground, "Kasumi, please don't hold on to my graybox," THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO HANG ON TOO!? My world is falling apart. "People would kill you for it, please, don't make me the reason you're hunted, please." I just held on to the person holding me, I couldn't stop sobbing. Aren't I supposed to be some master thief? Getting better control of myself, I took a look around, there were hundreds of memories of our time together, from Illium to Earth. Some I didn't know about, like his time in the alliance, and others where he was playing with my hair as I slept. I then looked back to the hologram of Keiji, he looked so sad, I wanted to reach out and pinch his cheeks, to tell him everything was going to be okay.

Deactivating the graybox, I found Nick right next to me with Shepard not too far away, I guess my fall had them a little worried. "I'm okay," my broken voice didn't make it better.

"Kasumi," Nick stepped forward, but I patted his chest, stopping him cold.

"I'm a big girl," I smiled up at him, "Don't look dare down on me."

A handkerchief appeared in his hand passing it to me, "I would never, I'm sure you'll rob me blind the moment I do," he teased.

I chuckled a bit, "And don't you ever forget it," I tapped his chest, before focusing back on the graybox in my hand.

"You don't have to do it now if you don't want to," Shepard offered.

I shook my head, "No, if I don't do it now, I doubt I'll ever do it," it was so heavy, how can I walk around this something so heavy in my own head, an icon appeared above it that only I could see.

DELETE?

Y/N

Pressing yes, the gray box sparked and gave out smoke, it was hot and burned my hand, but I couldn't let go, every part of me screamed, regretting my action but I had to, I can't keep him prisoner. Nick's large arm covered mine before Shepard joined. What are we, a little league team~? I wiped away some more tears.

"Uh John, I am loving this Team thing, but I was removing the burning hot tech from burning her more~." Nick apologized.

"Oh... oops."

I couldn't hold it in and started laughing through the pain, "I'm in a crew of idiots!" I cheered, allowing Nick to take the Graybox.

"HEY! We're legendary idiots!" Shepard countered.

I think I'm going to pass out from laughter.

-/-

A/N: … this Chapter got away from me. I had a story web and everything, but I watched some Lupin the Third to get in the heisting mood, but that somehow led to robots~. Still, I felt like it came out okay~, maybe, I guess that's more for others to decide.

Okay, I tried to make the economy equal somehow it didn't help that everything had some sort of strange inflation between games and universes, but I'd like to think I did... ok~, not great, but I'm not a math major.

I put Lia'Vael as a character, it kinda sucked at all you could do was help her from racists and then throw her back into the streets. I also wanted someone from the Quarian fleet to react to Tali, in the game Tali was an admiral's daughter, Hero of the Citadel, Commander of marines, master engineer, and a Geth killing machine. Tali is the Commander Shepard of the Quarian fleet, she even became an Admiral in the third game that just seemed to be skipped.

Alright, Mordin, Kasumi, and Zaeed's loyalty missions are over with, I'm probably going for Thane and Samara next as long as I don't get too distracted. I'm playing the trilogy again to see if I'm missing anything and looking into the Wiki for obscure knowledge I may have missed.

I do have a YouTube channel where I put audio to my stories for those who don't have the time to read or just want to hear in the background. So far, I just finished putting up New Start Plus but I'm also working on NSP: in Spaaace, and putting up art videos of my characters, go give them a listen, link in Bio, Like and Subscribe if ya want.

As always sorry for any grammar mistakes, and review, if you feel like it.

I also have a DeviantArt page where I make art of my Fanfic, link in bio.

Chapter Text

I don't own anything other than my OCs

Ch. 5

Space Vegas

-/-

Kasumi POV

I'm going to explode~.

"Here! This one is really good!" Jak shoved a cinnamon bun in my mouth, "It's good for the heart, and it soothes all your troubles."

"No, this one!" Julee called out shoving some pudding into my mouth after I swallowed the bun, "It relaxed the soul!"

"Here drink some milk that I blessed, it will heal your lactose intolerance," Sereda rushed over, hand serving me some milk.

"Ba~, food is nice but shiny metal makes the soul glow~," Sky called out, putting a crown made of solid gold and jewels on my melon, it felt like someone strapped a watermelon to my head, it was really pretty though, I'll definitely add it to my collection.

"Would you girls knock it off~," Nat came to my rescue, "She clearly needs something to keep warm." She put a huge sweater on me, it was clearly Sky's, before it magically shrunk to my size. It was nice.

"Nick, do something~" I hissed to the bastard who was just sitting across from me eating his cereal without a care in the world.

"Kasy, you're hurting, the man you love has been taken from you and just 4 days ago you were able to, with your own strength, let some of that grief out. They are just worried their friend is still hurting," Nick explained.

"I'm a big girl~," I huffed, shooing them away, they didn't have to give me a hurt puppy dog look.

He shook his head, "It's not about being a 'big girl'~," he air quoted, "It's about their friend being hurt and trying to help, if you're not feeling it just tell them, they'll give you some space... for like 20 minutes before you give a cough or a sneeze, and we'll be right back here again." I looked over to the girls who were spying over their booth making sure I was okay. "To be fair, I tend to act the same."

I sighed, "I don't think I've ever been this pampered in my life~." I've been to spas and stuff, under a different name of course, but I've never been to a spa that had blessed milk and crowns of gold for guests. "Aren't you going to do anything to make me feel better," I teased, I don't see why I shouldn't milk this a bit, it's not every day you get a space wizard waiting on you hand and foot.

He gave a light chuckle, "I'll make you some ramen for lunch." oh~, that's good~, but I want more. I shook myself a little and put on my game face.

"Is that it?" I hit him with a full puppy dog look.

He gave a sigh and rolled his eyes, "You will also get a shot at my Vault," I gave a gasp, "You're only allowed one thing if you get in!" I still fist-pumped, Nick has some of the coolest things, and Ava told me he had Web shooters, if he doesn't have them in his Hammerspace he definitely has them in his vault.

"Wait~, how many Vaults do you have?" No way Nick only has one Vault, he's the kind of dude who just had dozens of Vaults hidden away filled with monsters to defend them.

He smiled at me, "You get one shot before Sky gets huffy. You might be her friend but that's still her hoard."

I tsked, "Keep your secrets, I'll get them sooner or later," I blew him a raspberry.

"Good luck~," God he had such a punchable face sometimes. "Remember we need to go over our loot today, we're passing through the Citadel soon, and you know John is going to fight for Lady Liberty's head, he also wants that Puma X-7. He even has Anderson in his corner."

"What's stopping them from just taking the stuff? It is technically stolen."

He shrugged, "Nothing other than the fact that I'm a space wizard and John's a spectre. That gives him the right to take all the stuff with no fallout, probably, Spectre powers are a bit nebulous."

"Mmm~, do you have a list?" I asked. He gave me a book. Everything was on there, from Michelangelo's David to the Locust SMG that killed two presidents. Does he ever sleep?

"What are these?" I pointed to a W stamp on some pictures.

He passed me a stamp with a G on it, "That's what I want~, if you feel that you want something I want, stamp it and we could work something out." that's kinda cool, Nick seemed to go after the furniture, paintings, and blueprints. "Mmm, hey are we giving Tali and Lia the Quarian tablet?" I asked, there was a 'called for' stamp on the page.

"The Quarian what!?" Tali asked from her table with Lia and Neria.

"Were you spying on us~," Nick teased, as Tali speed-walked over to us.

"You weren't very quiet, the moment you said Puma X-7, Joker has been jumping from table to table getting closer," she huffed, sitting next to me and looking over the book.

"No, I wasn't, shut up, what's going on over here?" Joker asked sitting next to Nick.

"Dividing up the loot~," Nick answered.

"Is robbing someone really looting?" Joker asked.

"It's a bit of a gray zone~," Nick shrugged, "I like to think that if they're trying to kill you, it's looting, if you're trying to take something without hurting anyone, it's robbing, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, makes you a Black fox, after the legendary rogue and thief of the same name, but if you do it maliciously, killing a person for their stuff is called murder, so don't do that last one."

"You guys have a Robinhood?" Joker asked.

"Is Robinhood a legendary hero thief that was once a noble who was sentenced to death by an evil emperor, but escaped, gained a motley group of adventurers that robbed the rich and gave to the poor, and later regain his title, after defeating the evil emperor and stopping a civil war, but always had time to help the commonfolk?" Nick asked.

"Uhhh, yeah, I think so," Joker hummed, "it's an old story."

"Was he real?" Nick asked.

"Was the Black Fox!?" Jeff sounded surprised.

"Oh yeah~, we have proof and everything, he even had apprentices before his disappearance about 70 years ago, when he went on a journey to the home of the ancient Elves. Some say he died, others say he's still out there, me?" he gave a smirk and leaned forward, "My portals come from ancient elven designs, there's a chance, no matter how small, that he may have used one and is traveling the multiverse."

"But he would be at least 100 years old," I pointed out.

Nick shrugged, "Maybe he's gone, maybe he had his fun and passed on, but a man like him," an illusion of a very familiar mask formed on Nick's face, a mask my grandfather had over his fireplace, "I'd like to think he would have left something behind. A legacy~," he swooned in a French accent. I couldn't look away from his mask before it turned to glowing dust and faded away, "But what do I know, he could have secretly retired at a beach somewhere, drinking mimosas and watching the fine ladies~. That's how I wanted to retire, but then I got a bunch of Galaxy-saving do-gooders getting in my way." he huffed like an old man.

I huffed back, "I have you know that I'm a proper rapscallion." I stuck my nose in the air before we broke into laughter.

"Can we focus?" Tali asked, looking at the book, "Nick, do you have the tablets?"

"Yes~, I looted everything, from fuel barrels to ancient statues," Nick nodded.

"I want them," she wasn't asking.

A smirk grew across Nick's face. She shouldn't have said that. "Ms. Zorah~, your words intrigue me~." Nick tapped his fingers on the table.

"Within reason," she gulped, her face gaining a blush. Naughty-naughty~.

"I want you... to be selfish."

.

.

.

"What?" we asked.

"Tali, you and Lia are some of the most selfless people I know. Always caring about the people around you, always ready to help, willing to give of yourself without a moment's hesitation. I don't want one of my friends to be a martyr. I want when someone says to do something stupid for you to call them out."

"I do that already," Tali huffed.

"No, you do it for others. We are reaching the Citadel later today, I'm going to give you 50,000 Credits, I want you to spend all of it, every single cred on yourself, Guns, clothes, food, an omni-tattoo, I don't care, but it has to be only for you, no one else, no charities, no beggars, no migrant fleet, only Tali," Nick answered.

"That's... a lot you're asking for," Tali muttered.

"Mmm~, no doubt, you were raised to be selfless, so I'll give you an out~," he summoned a book and passed it to Tali, only for her eyes to grow wide and her face to explode into a red-hot blush, as she read it.

"W-W-W-WHAT IS THIS!?" she cried. Looking over I found a picture of sexy dresses and underwear.

"If you're not willing to be selfish, then be the selfless paragon you want to be, by giving away your body to Julee~, she would love to dress you up like a doll." holy shit, he's crazy!

"You would look so beautiful in that bunny outfit~," Julee teased sneaking up behind us.

"EEP!?" Tali jumped in surprise.

"And I really like to see you in this swimsuit~," Julee pointed to a two-piece, "We can add your clan pattern, it would be perfect," She cheered and giggled.

"Uh, well, you see, that's uh," Tali muttered.

"Gasp! What about this one!?" Julee flipped the pages, to an elegant ball gown, "Oh gosh~, I have so many! With Zevran and Lily's visit, we made so many new designs! And since Dagna and Ayla got over their blackmail, I need a new dol- Model! I need a new model~." Her smile was so fake. "You know~, two Quarians are better than one~," she licked her lips and looked at Lia.

This time Tali stood in front of Julee arms outstretched as if shielding Lia from Julee's machinations, "You leave her alone, she is a young pilgrim on her journey," the look in Julee's eyes scared me a bit, as her lips rose mischievously, my brain felt... fuzzy. The air was too warm and my clothes too itchy.

"And what will you do to stop me, Ms. Zorah? Lia already agreed to sell herself to Nick for power, what's a little more for limestone tablets from her homeland worth~?" Julee's tail slowly wrapped around Tali's waist bringing her close, "What are you willing to give me for her protection~." she asked gently connecting their foreheads together.

"yo-you would extort me?" Tali stuttered. "I-I thought we-we were friends?"

"Oh~, my precious Tali~, we are friends, but I want more~. You think you can flaunt your hips, and smile with so much innocents and joy, without catching my attention~. I might not be 100% Devil, but I do love to corrupt the pure~." She leaned in and began to whisper into Tali's ear. I don't know what she was saying but poor Tali was glowing like a star, her breath was getting faster, and her eyes fully dilated. It all ended abruptly as a gentle karate chop hit Julee right in the head, causing her to hiss and jump away. The look she shot Nick could melt steel. "Nicky!? What do you think you're doing?"

"Knock it off~," Nick growled. "It's breakfast time, I don't care if you take Tali up against the walls in the engine room-"

"W-What!?" Tali stuttered red-faced and looking like she had lost her glasses.

"-but not in the kitchen, you know how I feel about the kitchen." Nick huffed.

"UGH! Not the Kitchen, not the bathroom, not next to the fireplace! I live in a gulag!" she huffed, grabbing Nick by the shirt and shaking him, "Love has to be free Nicky." she shoved his head into her breasts, "Nothing should stop us from making love when the time strikes!"

Nick gave a fast spank to her butt causing her to jump and let him go, "The rules are there because of you~, or did you forget about the fire you caused in the kitchen, or how you nearly drowned in the bath, or how your tail caught fire by the fireplace?" he huffed. He patted her head and brought her in close, "When I make love to you, I don't want to worry about the world burning around us, I only want to care for you." that's kinda sweet, in a naughty kinda way, I guess.

She hugged him tightly, "Danger adds spice~," she hissed.

"No, Danger adds uncontrolled danger, and uncontrolled danger adds unwanted pain, and unwanted pain knocks me out of the sexy mood, so follow the rules," Nick explained, draping himself over her, it looked like a rabbit holding up a bear.

She pulled away, "FINE! I'll follow the rules! One of these days Walters, I'm gonna wear something you can't say no to and going to be relaxing by the fire. You'll break, you always do~." She gave him a peck and sat next to me.

"No doubt but today's not that day." he turned to Tali, "So what do you say?"

Tali, looked like a fish out of the water, "I-I-I-I never, with a group, uh, I'm, very new to this. Not even with one person."

"Tali~," Nick drawled, catching her attention, flashing her a Credit chit, "Renegade or paragon~?" Nick gave the ultimatum.

"I... Do I need to pay you back if I don't use it all?" she asked looking at the chit.

"Absolutely not," he answered without missing a beat. "The money is all yours."

"What if I lie and give it to some Quarians who need money?"

Nick shrugged, "If that's what you want, I'm not going to stop you, I'm not going to even blame you. Helping others is a very mortal thing to do," He lifts her right hand and places the chit in her palm. "But sometimes Tali, you deserve something for all your troubles, maybe a cute dress, dinner at a fancy restaurant, a night out clubbing, maybe you just wanna buy something dumb, something for your eyes only~. Besides you look like a goody-two shoes, you couldn't keep it a secret for long. Part of me wants you to be selfless~, I can imagine you in a sun dress~." It took me a second to see it, but she would look good in a sundress, maybe light lavender.

"What if I need to buy something for the ship?" Tali asked. "Is it selfless to buy something that will keep me alive?"

"Ohhh~, trying to find a loophole already, I like it, but~," he gave her another chit, "That one has 300,000, buy whatever you think the Normandy needs, on me~."

"Whoa~, that's a lot of money~," I muttered. "You could buy a nice apartment in the presidium for that."

"You're just giving this to me?" Tali looked flabbergasted.

Nick shrugged, "What do I care for money? I'm not sure if you know this but giant space robots are going to try and kill us all, what good is money going to do? No, I think wasting it on things we need is far more important than having it in a bank. Besides don't we need to upgrade the ship some more? I'm pretty sure we need tools for that, I suggest you talk with Gabby, Donney, and Lia, go have fun with the engineering crew, and buy what you need to keep us alive." He shooed her toward the other engineers, before sitting back down, to finish his cereal.

"Just like that?" I asked. "You throw thousands of Creds to a young woman and shoo her away?"

He shrugged, "We are about to hit pay dirt, what does a few hundred thousand Creds for? Besides, we are on a suicide mission, shouldn't we have the best of the best, be paid like they're the best of the best. I'm still looking forward to my beach retirement~," he had a big pervy smile on his face.

He's definitely thinking of ladies in bikinis, "you're incorrigible~," I huffed. He just smirked.

"Hey," Joker interrupted, "Can we talk about the-"

-/-

Nick POV

"-Puma X-7," Anderson asked.

"Nope, that one's mine~," I huffed leaning back in my chair. We've been at this for hours, apparently going through hundreds of ancient artifacts, took some time. Apparently being a space wizard doesn't really give me the authority on artifacts so someone with an actual degree in art history had to be there to check the objects, and getting a group of Art history majors in one room wasn't easy, especially when we need one for each race. At the moment, Anderson, John, and I were in a warehouse in the presidium made for Council needs, it was big and empty, I didn't really know what they used it for, I guessed for parties or maybe for one of their private ships.

"It's an Alliance icon." he countered.

"Yes, and so is lady liberty's head, and I'm kind enough to give you that back for half off~," I shrugged.

"It has laser cannons~," Anderson huffed.

"Even better! Now people will second guess destroying freedom when it could shoot them with freckin laser beams," I teased.

"So, I'm guessing we aren't getting the fighter?" Anderson teased.

I gave him a shrug, "I'm not saying you can't have it. I just need to take it apart, create a blueprint, and then put it back together, and you give Joker a test flight. For a man who once had brittle bones, he has some major gripping muscles~." The moment I told Joker about the fighter he clung on to me like a baby koala, not letting me go until I promised to let him ride it.

"Once had?" Anderson asked.

"Nick cured him the second he walked into the Normandy," Shapard explained.

"I shouldn't be surprised," Anderson huffed.

"How are you doing David? It must have been weird using your Chi."

Taking my question for the break it was, Anderson just chuckled, "They put me through every test they could think of, it was N7 training all over again, but easier. Admiral Hackett asked if you could do the same for more of our soldiers."

"Mmm, Chi shouldn't be too much of a problem, you can give them a few pointers, but magic is a bit much," I shrugged.

"Is it more difficult to give Magic to people," David asked.

"Not really, but you have no one to teach them, the last thing you need is a bunch of sorcerers throwing around wild magic," I pointed out. "As funny as that would be, imagine Spartus being turned into a Krogan." I gave a light chuckle.

"That can really happen?" Shepard asked.

I sighed, "John, when are you going to get the clue that there is very little magic can't do?"

"If it's all good with you, Chi is enough for us," David chuckled.

"How many people are we looking at?" I asked,

"About 1,000."

"1,000!? What do you need? An army!?"

"... yes?"

"Oh, right, Reapers. How did I forget about that? Still, that's a lot~," I sighed. "Have you at least vetted these guys? I don't want them gaining powers and then booking it, from what I understand there are Cerberus sleeper agents out there, and I don't want to give TIM access."

"Mmm, I get what you mean, I'll see what I can do and send you a list."

I nodded, "I'll have EDI give them a background check."

"EDI?" John asked.

I shrugged, "She was a Cerberus AI, who was in their systems, if anyone knew their inner workings she does."

"AI?" David asked clearly confused.

"Joker's wife," John and I answered at the same time.

"Jeff's married to an AI?"

I shrugged, "Is it really that surprising? She's the Normandy, and Jeff's only attracted to big ladies that can fly and shoot lasers," I joked, passing him a picture of Jeff and EDI laughing as he taught her how to use chopsticks as they ate lunch. John gave me the people's eyebrow, "I wanna show a timelapse of their relationship during their 'official' ceremony."

"This looks like a normal human woman," David pointed out.

I puffed up a bit, "Thank you, EDI told me what she wanted in her new body, if it means anything, she took a little after you."

"Me?"

"You are the first human Councilor, veteran, Shepard's right-hand man, and a man of conviction. She thought if she looked like you, she might gain some of your spirit." I gave a shrug, "I'd like to think she's doing pretty good; Jeff will be putty in her hands soon enough." I teased.

John gave a laugh, David just looked at the photo a little longer, before giving a small smirk and passing back the picture, "Good to see someone putting him in his place. Now let's get back to this book, what do you want for the terracotta warrior?"

-/-

Tali POV

"Areus!" I waved to the spectre requisitions officer behind the counter.

The Turian gave me a long look, "Tali'Zorah?"

"You remember me!"

"Not many Quarians come in here, I guess Commander Shepard finally came out of undercover work, and you know," he waved his hand over his face.

"You thought he was undercover?" I asked.

He gave a shrug, "Not the first spectre to 'die' and come back a few years later." Mmm, spectres are spies I suppose, "So, I'm guessing you're here for some new toys?"

"Yep, need some ship enhancements."

"Not a problem, some good stuff has been popping up lately, all I need is the Commander's spectre code." I waved my omni-tool over his screen. It took a moment, but he nodded, "You're clear, happy shopping."

"Tali they have the blueprints for the Cyclonic Barrier, this thing is leagues above the Normandy's current shielding!" Gabby called out, "I think we have the raw material to craft one.

"And if not, they have a blueprint for an Argus Advanced Mineral Scanner," Donney added, looking over some of the blueprints, the spectre office had.

"What about this Modular Probe Bay? We wouldn't need to go back to a fuel depot as often," Lia'Vael asked.

"Couldn't Nick just make an extended crate and shove as many as we want?" Donny asked.

"Maybe, we should ask him, we might not even need to buy the Extended Fuel Cells, he can just make it so they can handle more fuel," Gabby pointed out.

"Buy them anyway, Nick tends to be paranoid, he'll probably make copies and have them fully fueled for emergencies," Lyna added, looking over some thruster designs.

"You know the Normandy's Antiproton Thrusters are the best in the market right now, right?" I asked.

"Oh, I know, but Nick wants to see some other designs he can add to Mother Base back home."

"Mother Base?" I asked.

"It's Nick's ship, it's about 440 meters," she guesstimated.

"Whoa, that's impressive for a ship made of wood," Donney nodded.

"HA, have you met Nick? No, he likes making things 'fun'," she air quoted, "Mother Base is a ship made of earth and stone that flies through the clouds, with an atmospheric bubble and shield that keeps things at a normal temperature of 70 degrees. Everything is powered by a huge Mana engine that will probably run forever, Nick likes to make things that last."

"So, he wants to upgrade it?" Gabby asked.

"More like make a new one, Mother Base kinda became a symbol of Ferelden power, and with us here he lent it to King Cailan and the Ferelden Vanguard as a base and quick troop movement. I can already hear Cailan debating for it to remain in Ferelden. Nick tends to be a softy when it comes to his friends."

"You think he'll give Joker the Puma X-7?" Gabby asked.

"Mmm, maybe, but more than likely he's just going to have us pull it apart so he could copy every individual piece add a Badassium Alloy for strength, and put it back together, at that point if enough people want it, he'll probably raffle it away or make some ridiculous contest, if the Alliance doesn't pay up the nose for it first."

"Just like that?" Lia'Vael asked, "Ships tend to have far more importance in the migrant fleet, you don't just give a ship away~."

Lyna gave a shrug, "Nick isn't the Migrant Fleet, he doesn't have use for it and if one of his friends does, he'll just pass it over, you should see The Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom." The very name made me shiver.

"The Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom? What kind of name is that?" Donny asked.

"It's the name of the most dangerous blade in my world. A single cut can kill a grown man, and if that doesn't kill you the flames will burn you alive, and if that doesn't kill you the poison will make you wish it did. Even Nick doesn't play with it, only Aeden Cousland has mastered its use."

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Nick's brother-in-law, Grey warden commander, a hero of Ferelden, and father, he's most proudful of that last one," Lyna joked. "It's probably for the best, Nick has never been much of a sword guy, and I doubt anyone has proper skills to use it here. We need a VI system to auto-navigate our first test flight."

"Mmm, I think we can make our own," Lia'Vael countered, "It shouldn't be too hard all we would need to do is create a timed system to control the engine and return it to where it came from."

"What about armor?" Gabby asked.

"What about the stuff EDI is made off, that mimetic Poly alloy?" Donny added.

"It's good for kinetic rounds, but does poorly against plasma," Lyna muttered, "I'm not saying it's not a good idea, but we would need something to protect it against plasma damage,"

I hummed looking through some of the armor blueprints, some were good, but the thickness could be a problem, but all the Arc reactors Nick as given me to enhance the Normandy's output should counter any weight it may add to the ship, but thicker armor doesn't always mean better.

"What about this?" Lyna showed me the screen she was working on.

"Silaris armor?" Looking over the benefits, the carbon nanotube sheets woven with diamond Chemical Vapor Deposition would give the Normandy the ability to take a beating, and with the new Thanix cannon, she can punch well above her weight class. I didn't like the price though, "It's a little expensive~."

"Hold on~," Lyna opened her omni-tool quickly calling Nick.

"40 MILLION!" We heard Nick yell at Counselor Anderson.

"40 MILLION!? You've lost your damn mind!" Anderson yelled, slamming his hand on the table.

"We both know Italy will pay an arm and a leg for it!" Nick roared back.

"It's missing an arm and leg!"

"Then you should have taken better care of it!"

"The European league will not be happy at Michelangelo's David's condition, I'll go up to 3 million."

"We both know it's at least worth more than 100 times that amount! 30 million or it becomes a nice statue in my garden!" He threatened.

"FINE! But you add the Pharaoh's Statue."

"Deal." They shook hands. "Sorry about that sweety, Anderson apparently had a minor degree in debate, what do you need from me?" Nick smiled at Lyna as he placed two statues in front of a stunned Human holding a magnifying glass.

"We need a little more money."

"No problem, Anderson's nothing if not efficient, do you want the money?"

"Send it to Tali, she has the wallet," Lyna answered. My omni-tool beeped, checking it I found my account was over 10 million. My mouth was very dry. Sure, I've handled Shepard's money before, but we would constantly be buying and selling things, we were always either flat broke or drowning in money, and the only time we had too much money was near the end of our hunt when we had the best equipment and didn't need to buy any more things, so we just sold everything we didn't need. Of course, the Normandy exploded not a month after.

"Have fun! And remember Tali~, Renegade, or Paragon." he teased. Keelah, I wanted to punch him.

"How much do you want for the Makos?" We heard Anderson.

Nick Tsked, "Man you know I don't need those! Love you!"

"Love you too~," She hung up. "What a dork~. I'm a have him pound me tonight~," she muttered, I don't think I was supposed to hear that. "So, did he give you enough?"

"Uh, yeah! A lot more than needed actually."

"Great! We can get a snack after this!" Lyna hummed.

"Is Nick always this uncaring of money?" I asked, "I mean, I don't want to come off as ungrateful!"

She waved away my worries, "Nick has his own 'CFO' that's meant to keep his money and himself in line, but Telsa is still back in my own dimension, she makes Miranda feel warm and loving, but Nick loves her, and to her credit, Telsa's the greatest financial advisor I have ever met. Thanks to her Nick practically has unlimited funds." she showed me a picture of a young woman, pale as a ghost, with hair as black as Ebony, and eyes the color of blood, she was also wearing pajamas made us some kind of silk that would most likely be worth more than anything I own. She also had a grumpy look on her face.

"She doesn't look happy," Donney pointed out.

"Oh yeah, no, she furious, this was the morning after we kidnapped her for her surprise vacation." She flipped to a new picture of Telsa strangling Nick, with the other girls trying to save him, then another of Nick in a neck cast as he and Telsa relaxed under a palm tree at a beach somewhere.

"I found that Nick surrounds himself with beautiful women~," Donney added looking at the pictures before Gabby elbowed him.

Lyna shrugged, "I would like to say that it was the luck of the draw, but you need to understand that Ferelden was in a war of independence not that long ago and then was ravaged by a Blight, and while it's true that Ferelden women might be some of the fiercest fighters in Thedas, they are also women, they give birth to the future generations, so as the men fought in the front lines, women were the hidden fighters. You can guess that a lot more men died, making Ferelden's population skew female. It's still going to take some time for everything to balance out, but we're working on it. The Orlesians were not kind, they killed any man who didn't pay their taxes... they didn't kill the women."

"Keelah~," Lia'Vael muttered.

Lyna shrugged, "So if you ever wonder why Nick hates Orlais."

"I thought Leliana was Orlesian?" Gabby asked.

"Ha! Don't let her hear you say that, she might have an accent, but she's a Fereldan through and through. She chugs her alcohol, and punches like any Fereldan. She just can't get a man~," she teased.

"The Commander seemed smitten~," Gabby giggled.

"Yeah but she can never stick the landing~, she tends to be a workaholic, she is trying to save a corrupted church by changing it from the inside," she shook her head, "I swear, she needs to take a break before she goes crazy." she let out a sigh, "Let's buy this stuff and buy some extra for emergencies, Nicky's paranoia is getting to me~."

We ended up buying a few more things, the blueprints cost us a pittance compared to the Armor, but even still we had quite a bit left over, as in an easy 9 million, Nick gave us way too much. With everyone back on the Normandy I was looking through the extranet for stuff to buy, I still had until the end of the day until my deal came to a close, then an idea crossed my mind, it was a crazy idea, but it could work~. I found my loophole.

-/-

Shepard POV

"Did you and Anderson have to get into that fistfight?" I asked Nick, he had a black eye and busted lip. The meeting when well... I guess, Nick got to sell everything he wanted, I got a great deal of money for my mission, and the Alliance got a bunch of premium tanks and mechs for cheap, we all got something.

"2,000 credits for the remains of Hock's mech! He was robbing us!"

"It was junk! Most of it was broken!"

"Broken my ass! Shepard, you're a good man so I'm not expecting much shady shenanigans from you, but you know what he's going to do?"

"Study it?"

"Oh you precious summer child, he's going to send it to R&D, get his boys to fix it the best they can, and then when we're finished with the collectors, and I'm on earth overpowering every AA gun within reach, he's going to be all 'hey since you're here can you add some touches to this bad boy', boom, free labor~." That's a long walk for a cup of water.

"I'm sure he'll pay you~," I deadpanned, I'm not sure if Anderson would do that, but the alliance sure as hell would. "And you can always say no."

"Don't be ridiculous Shepard, it's a giant robot, of course I'm gonna work on it! Are you saying you don't want to see a giant Mech shooting Reapers out of the air?"

"Ahh~, I never said that~," I drawled.

"I'm not even going to keep the damn thing~. That's the best part of having a giant robot, to have a giant robot!" He let out a sigh as we walked down Zakera ward toward the Normandy, I'm swear the council made me park so far away just to mess with me.

"You already have a giant robot," I pointed out.

"Yes, but I can have two~," he answered.

"Why not just make another one?" I asked.

"Time~, when I made my Prime suit I had plenty of free time, the blight was slow, and we were getting ready, but after the blight, I didn't need another mech, Ferelden needed me as a construction worker, not a fighter, so I put my fists away and picked up the hammer. I built homes, trains, and entire villages, and when they no longer needed me for that they needed me to help lead, so the hammer was put down and the pen was lifted, it took some time, but I was able to set up a decent system for my little city."

"And then you ended up here?"

He shrugged, "There was more to it, but yeah, I guess, don't tell the girls but I was feeling a little frustrated with the ruling, I have no idea why people wanna take over the galaxy, it's a shit job, you can't take 3 steps without someone calling for help, and if you ignore it people think you're a cold leader, but if you do help, people think you're giving others special treatment, there is never just a solid win."

"I'm guessing that's why you wanted to go to the beach dimension?" I asked.

"Part of the reason, but this place was good too~, sure the galaxy is being threatened by giant robot cuttlefish, but it's not boring, and I'm not in charge."

"Silver linings~," I teased.

"I like to think that's the best way to see the world," he sighed. "So, where are we heading next?"

"Illium, our last two recruits are somewhere in the Asari's crown jewel," I huffed.

"You sound annoyed, don't like the Asari?"

"It's not that I hate them, but you heard Anderson, the Asari have been lying this whole time, the Asari beacon had a Prothean VI! That's game-changing! It could show proof of the reapers!" Maker Damnit, those blue bitches had proof this whole time! They knew!

"True but the VI only works for Protheans," Nick pointed out. And that was the rub, so God damn close only for it to be locked behind a screen. "Maybe we should stop by. Didn't you get Protheaned by that plant thing? And then get two beacons shoved down your throat?" That... made me pause, he didn't need to make it sound like a date gone wrong, but he was right, the VI in Ilos talked to me, why wouldn't the one on Thessia? "What about the one on Mars, does that one have a VI? Do all of them? We really should ask more questions," he muttered to himself.

"Yeah~, we really should, I'll send Anderson and the rest of the Council a message about this," I sighed.

"Hold on, will this be safe? I mean Cerberus is still firmly strapped to your back, they might try and block you off, or just cut all contact if we go off script if we start losing focus on the collectors, and we both know that attack on Horizon wasn't happenstance. They were there for your girlfriend. And as much fun as it would be to tell TIM to gargle on our mayonnaise, he is the only one looking into the abductions."

FUUUUUCK~! "One thing at a time, the beacons can wait, Collectors now, but we have a solid start after them. With any luck, Anderson may have found something but is waiting for us to finish up this." I had to at least hope. At least I can now see the path ahead.

I guess Nick was right, I like the silver lining.

-/-

Lia'Vael POV

"Now Lia, Magic is not a toy, that comes later~." Nick teased. We were heading to Illium, somewhere we were told was a bad idea for pilgrims, because behind its Asari glamor, it was just like Omega but worse, at least Omega would angrily stab you in the face, not slit your throat with a smile. "Let's start with some Cantrips."

"Umm, Nick that's great and all but... why am I wearing this?" Unlike my usual workout clothes that I somehow got used to, I was now wearing a large dress that seemed to come out of one of those human cartoon vids.

"Simple, you never know when you are going to need to use magic, it could be in a battlefield where you're fully armored, or a ballroom filled with nobles, you need to know how different clothing affects your movement, that's why Grunt's in a tux." he pointed to a sharply dressed Grunt.

"I look, ridiculous," he huffed.

"You look fine!" Dagna called out, getting him to stand up straight, "Think of this as insulting your enemy, they aren't worth your armor."

"Mmm, I like that," the krogan nodded.

"Now let us begin. Magic comes from-"

"Hold on!" Tali'Zorah called out interrupting him, "Can't you see we're doing something!" It was true the rest of the engineering crew was slowly and methodically taking apart the Puma X-7. "Take your magic elsewhere!"

"HUH!? I have this time for magic training! And where is your outfit!?" Nick called out. Keelah, I saw the outfit Julee wanted her to wear. Let's just say my short shorts would be considered modest.

"I spent the money on something I wanted, and we have the shuttle bay until lunch!" She showed Nick a piece of paper. Nick looked it over and tsked.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

"Damn straight you are, Lia'Vael!" Tali'Zorah ordered, getting me to snap to attention.

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Get out of that dress and into your work clothes, we need help with this engine."

"Yes Ma'am!" I took off toward the elevator, ugh how do women run in these things, I'm just happy Nick thought heels were torture devices.

I rushed back to my room, which was huge! Nick placed it under Kasumi's room. At least 40 Quarians could live here with plenty of space. The bed was easily three times my size and held me like a baby, I also had my own private bath, work desk, and closet, filled with dozens of clothes Julee gifted me along with some clothes I bought, a weapons locker that I hope I never had to use filled with a lightning infused mace and an enhanced sidewinder pistol, along with my Armor Nick made my to handle anything short of a ship's main gun, and finally a TV with hundreds of interdimensional movies and shows.

Putting away my poofy dress I quickly put on my work clothes and ran back don't to the Shuttle Bay where it looked like I walked into another ship altogether.

"Careful with that ya mooks! What kind of operation do you think we're running here!?" Nick called out. In the 30 minutes I've been gone, stupid dress, the Shuttle Bay became a scrap yard, Golems were moving large heavy armored pieces, to individual place stands, where Lyna took pictures. Gabby and Donny were slowly taking apart the engine marking every screw and bolt. Tali'Zorah was taking apart the driving mechanism.

"Humans are crazy~," Tali'Zorah muttered, "Most of these were just readings, they didn't even have VI targetings, these mad men just shot from the hip!"

"I think that was what the Co-pilot was for," I pointed out joining her in the cockpit.

"That's even crazier! It would take amazing teamwork just to hit a ship."

"It was an old model," Donny answered, "modern fighters have all that normal stuff that a co-pilot was supposed to do. My Gramps used to fly one of these, he told me it was all about communication, you had to trust your co-pilot with your life."

"Your Grandpa Pip never flew one of these~," Gabby countered.

"Not an X-7, he flew a Spear U-49, it didn't have the same power as the X-7, and couldn't FTL, but it was cheaper to make and had some mean guns. He was gripped about not using one during the first contact war, he retired just 4 years before that."

"I suppose having two pairs of eyes is better than one," Tali'Zorah muttered. "Does the Alliance still do that?"

Gabby shrugged, "Depends on the fighter, Bombers usually have two pilots, but most fighters only have one nowadays, with the advancement of VI and how cheap some fighters could be made, suddenly everyone could fly one."

"You know I've only heard rumors of humans, you guys are rather new to the galactic stage," I pointed out getting the panel off the cockpit and passing it to a golem. "Is it true that humans eat poison?"

"Poison? No, I don't think so." Donny answered confused at the question.

"What kind of poison?" Nick asked, helping pull apart one of the wings.

"Like poison plants, they're red and green on the extranet," I clarified.

"Like peppers?" Gabby asked.

"They say Krogans can't even eat it!" and I thought krogans could eat anything~.

"Are you talking about capsaicin? It is produced by most peppers and other plants, you ate some," Donny drawled.

"I DID!?" no way! "When?"

"I made spicy chicken tacos yesterday, I used peppers," Nick answered.

"You mean those edible plates made of corn with the angry chicken?" Tali'Zorah asked.

"You're supposed to fold them and eat them with your hands, didn't Shepard teach you?" I asked.

"I've seen Shepard eat; I'm not taking eating advice from him." The captain does tend to just shove food into his mouth without thinking.

Nick shrugged, "Don't blame him too much, he's an elite soldier who was probably trained to shove calories down his throat and keep fighting. Garrus is the same way, do you have any idea how long it took me to learn that turian recipe his mother showed us, he didn't even taste it." he passed Lyna a thruster.

"So, wait I can eat earth poisons!?" I asked.

"Mmm, Capsaicin isn't much of a poison, kind of, maybe. It's a bit difficult to explain, humans can't really digest capsaicin, it just tricks our nervous system into thinking you are heating up while giving a light sting to the mouth. In short, we don't taste spicy food, we feel it. That's why Grunt didn't like it too much, his redundant nervous system simply blocked the pain making it taste bland. Do Quarian's not have something similar?" Nick asked.

"Umm, not really. We just eat Keleven, it's a high-protein plant we grow on the live ships. It didn't really have a taste; it just gave us the necessary calories for us to stay alive," I answered.

"Not too surprising, Quarians land more on the carnivorous end of the food web, your teeth tell me that much. Can you eat Turian food?" Nick asked. Tali gave a nod, I've never eaten turian food before, it was all nutrient paste for me since I left the Migrant Fleet. I think the first time I've ever eaten meat was on this ship... I can never go back to nutrient paste. I gave an involuntary shiver at the thought of having to eat that disgusting slime and stuff again. I'll just have to kidnap Nick and keep him in my room to satisfy my need for his meat... nope, that sounded like a sexual fantasy at best, a creepy serial killer stalker at worst. "Turians are heavy carnivores and take their necessary vegetable intake from their prey, but I've seen Garrus eat Dextro-chocolate, how does that work?"

"Humans," Tali'Zorah answered, "From what I understand during the war against the Turians, Turian prisoners couldn't eat human food, so humans synthesized some Dextro food using some of their own taste, one of those foods was some kind of extremely hard chocolate meant for soldiers."

"Military chocolates!? that stuff is as hard as bricks and as bitter as Brussels sprouts," Nick gasped making a disgusted face.

"The Turians loved it, long-lasting, cheap to make, resistant to fire, easy to carry, and was made with high calory levels. After the war ended, one of the first things ever traded between the two species was chocolate," Tali'Zorah shrugged. "I tasted it once, that stuff stuck to my teeth for days, but it tasted okay, a lot like Keleven, but has some sweetness to it." She sounded nonchalant, but her body language said something else, she was impatient, almost annoyed that Nick was still talking and not giving her the chocolate.

"Mmm, here eat this~," Nick passes her a brown bar of some kind.

"I'm busy, I don't have time for... whatever this is." Tali held the bar with reverence and confusion.

"It's chocolate," Nick explained.

"Why is it brown and glowing?" she asked, "Turian chocolate is bright orange."

"Orange?" Nick asked.

"It's a good way to make sure we don't mix up ingredients," Gabby pointed out. "The glow is new though."

"It's magic chocolate, I want to see if there's any difference," Nick explained.

"It's glowing," Tali'Zorah pointed out, "I think that's good enough evidence to figure out that it does taste different."

"Come on~! I would ask Lia, but she has never eaten turian chocolate before, unless you also want one Lia~," he passed a brown bar over to me. It was brittle but held its shape.

"Really, you're going to have an innocent Pilgrim test your magic food?" Tali'Zorah huffed.

"Well, I mean, yeah~, I paid to use her body for my 'experimental' pleasure~," Nick bounced his eyebrows.

"KEELAH! Don't say it like that!" I groaned trying to cover my face.

"Oh, I'm so sorry~, what I mean to say was that her body and mind are mine to test, to find out what makes the Quarian people beg for more~," he teased.

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" I tried to chop him on the head, but he moved, laughing all the way. Now I understand what Ayla was talking about, Nick loved to twist words around to get a rise out of people. "One of these days Nick~,"

His smile only seemed to grow, "I should warn you, just about every woman who's punched me, somehow fell in love with me, and I get my... licks back~." this time he leaned forward enough where I could easily punch him, "You wanna try~." Keelah, that was a face any woman would happily punch, thankfully a chop from overhead tapped him right in the noggin, "Ouchy~."

"Stop teasing them ya perv, I swear you and Julee are cut from the same cloth sometimes," Lyna sighed.

He giggled, "At least I'm not as forward as Sky."

Lyna just gave another sigh, "I don't think Lia would have made it, especially after getting out of her suit. I'm just happy we curved her kissing habit."

"k-k-kissing," I stuttered, covering my lips.

"That we know of~, you've seen how Julee has been whispering to her, and last night wasn't gentle, she's getting territorial," Nick warned. What the hell does that mean?

"She was rather rough~. Lia, I need you to stay sharp, whatever you do, don't get cornered." Lyna warned.

"She, won't do anything right?" I whispered.

"Sky is a Great dragon, in her culture, power, wealth, and age is the only thing that is respected. And Wealth can be just about anything. Like poor innocent Quarians, that only wanted to help," Nick warned. "We of course tried to curve her more... let's say, passionate tendencies. But if she believes you are not strong enough to handle yourself, she will take you, in any way she wants, it will start innocently enough, a few golden trinkets," I slowly reached up to my gold hair clip, "Then it's some kind of touching," I remembered Sky patting my head every time I did something right, "then it's some kind of skin ship, nothing too sexual," flashes of her cleaning my back in the bath, and her full body hugs, "with all those boxes checked she moves in for a more... Intimate relationship."

I gulped, "Uh~, should I know what that is?"

Lyna hummed, "Well it will start with light kissing, usually on top of the head, maybe on the back of the hand and up the arm. She then tends to move fast; she tends to skip the cute first kiss and goes straight to tasting your tonsils, and when you're good and drunk on Dragon tongue she'll go for your body, she might fumble a bit, she's never touched a Quarian, it won't be long before you're just a moaning mess begging for more, trust me," she gave a little shiver, "She knows what she's doing," her face had a light blush, I think my face was on fire. My mouth was so dry.

"Is, uh, any uh, way to stop her?" I choked out.

Lyna sighed, "You're gonna need a stay of execution, and only Jak has the power to enforce it, but that won't stop her, not really. She will be there like a noble knight, if you trip, she'll catch you, if your angry, she'll be there to hear you rage, if you're tired, she'll be there to carry you, and when you're feeling lonely, she'll be there to hold you close, and before you know it you'll be licking down her abs~," she swooned, looking up at nothing. "Nothing makes you feel more powerful than watching someone like Sky whimpering your name~…" Nick gave a cough, "HUH!? What? Uh, I mean, be careful, she's sneaky!"

At this point everybody but Nick was red-faced. "Anyway~, now that that sexy warning was been given, how about you guys eat that chocolate~," he asked, holding a clipboard and pen. He was supposed to wait until after lunch to do his Experiments but at this point, I don't think I could talk so I just shove it into my mouth keeping me from saying anything.

Mmm, Oh~, that's good~. I looked over to Tali'Zorah to see if she was also feeling this, her eyes were fully dilated, and was licking her fingers trying to get every last morsel of Chocolate. She then looked at my fingers that had some melted Chocolate. I snapped my fingers away, MINE! She hissed at me, how Dare she!? I hissed back, before licking my fingers real quick, this is my chocolate! Keelah~, it was so good.

"I... think I've done goofed," Nick muttered.

Nick~, he has chocolate, he makes chocolate... MY CHOCOLATE~.

-/-

Miranda POV

I may hate Walters, but I'll be damned if he wasn't a good teacher, this sushi was top-notch. I'll never tell him that though.

"SHEPARD!?" Nick came running around the corner, looking extra twitchy. Are those bite marks?

"Nick?" Shepard asked, he, Garrus, and Mordin were talking about the Thanix Cannon, and the calibrations needed to cut down the time it would need to fire again, Shepard looked lost, he was the perfect soldier, not an engineer, he was just nodding along. "Are those bite marks?"

"I've done goofed!" Nick panicked. What did that idiot do?

"Calm down, what are you talking about? Did you summon a demon or something?" because that's just what we needed, this stupid space wizard summoning monsters from the beyond.

"No, yes, no, I made a mistake."

"What mistake!?" Garrus asked.

"I GAVE TALI AND LIA... chocolate~," he whispered that last word, like saying it too loud would summon a monster. Seriously, chocolate? That's what got this guy all panicky? Vakarian and Shepard just looked at Walters for a moment, before they jumped out of their seats and barreled over the kitchen counter, risking burns and blades, Nick joined them shortly after.

Everyone else just looked confused at them.

"SHEPARD TO JOKER! WE HAVE A CODE SWEET! LOCK THE ELEVATORS!"

"SWEET!?" Moreau screamed. "SHE ALREADY HAS CONTROL OF THE ELEVATOR! EDI LOCK THE COCKPIT! EDI FOCUS!" was the last thing we heard before the comms when dead.

There was a ding from the elevator before the lights went out, plunging the room into pitch darkness. Before two pairs of glowing eyes appeared from the dark. "TALI! As your captain, I order you to go to bed!" Shepard ordered. One of the pair of eyes turned to the voice before they blinked out of existence, "That better have been you going to bed!" There was a racket of dishes and plates hitting the ground.

"Shepard~," Zorah hissed.

"Tali?"

"I have your little toy~."

"Tali! You put down my alliance frigate young lady! it took me a day to put together and another to paint, this is my only warning!" Shepard ordered.

"Give me the Chocolate man!" she countered.

"You've already had enough chocolate! You're gonna wake up all cranky tomorrow!"

"I'LL WAKE UP ANY WAY I WANT! GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE MAN, or your ship has an... 'Navigation malfunction' and fly straight into the floor," she threatened with a hiss. Suddenly the emergency light lit up the room in red, showing a rather deranged-looking Quarian holding a model ship ready to smash it into the ground, she meant business. Looking over I spotted Vael surveilling the room for any sign of Walters, any other day I think I could handle them, but Vael is some kind of super Quarian and Zorah looked ready to try and bludgeon me like a cavewoman, besides this is Walters's fault, let him get in trouble. Suddenly Vael gave a yelp, looking down I noticed the dart sticking to her rump. Following the dart's trail, I found Chakwas holding a dart rifle, Vael took a single step before dropping, completely out cold. Zorah gave a hiss and jumped behind cover, dodging another dart.

"Don't make it harder than it has to be young lady!" Chakwas ordered, taking aim.

Tali hissed but was cut off by a slice of chocolate cake on a plate sliding across the floor, without thinking she rushed the cake leaving her wide open for Chakwas to nail her in the rump, causing her to slump face first on the cake, "Worth it~," she muttered through a mouthful of cake before going completely losing consciousness.

Walters slowly raises his head over the counter, holding the rest of the cake, did he make that when the lights were off? "What the hell was that?" he muttered.

"Quarians don't do chocolate well," Shepard answered, "we don't know why, we believed it has something to do with the sugar or maybe just the taste, but Quarians tend to have rather extreme reactions."

"She mugged me for any Chocolate I had left," Garrus huffed. "And when I ran out, she got a little... aggressive. Quarian legs aren't a joke, when Wrex tried to stop her, she kicked him so hard she launched him across the shuttle bay, I think that was when he started giving her some respect. It took Kaidan and Liara to work together to biotically hold her in the air and stuff her in a crate. She crashed an hour later and woke up super grumpy and confused." He walked over and helped Shepard carry the unconscious Quarian into the med bay.

"Joker! Code Sweet is clear!" Shepard called out, the emergency lights gave way to the ships' regular lights, blinding me a bit.

"That was close commander, I nearly pooped my pants when I learned I had no control over the elevator, I thought she was going to make us fly to 'Chocolate Planet' again." Joker huffed.

"EDI, how are you doing?" Nick called out.

"Ms. Zorah and Ms. Vael flooded my processors with junk data making it difficult for me to understand what was happening, I'll do some Software updates to make sure that doesn't happen again," The AI answered. Great~, the AI is now faster and stronger.

"Does that mean you won't have me calculating Pi when you take over the galaxy?" Moreau joked.

"Of course not Jeff, you'll be too busy polishing my body... that was a joke," EDI explained.

"Was it really~," Nick teased as the comms when silent. "So, will they be okay?" he asked carrying Vael into the Med Bay, I of course stayed close, I needed to know if they were going to be a problem to my order. Sitting so I could see into the Med Bay and used my omni-tool to connect to the listening devices I planted in the room.

"They'll be fine, the chocolate just has to work its way out of their system, just make sure you don't give them any more Chocolate," Chakwas ordered.

"Is chocolate a drug?" Nick sheepishly asked.

"Mmm, not a drug per se, it's more of a powerful stimulant like caffeine to the max, the Quarian brain tends to work overtime. I believe that the Quarian may have had something similar on Rannoch." Chakwas answered.

"Mmm~, why did they become so aggressive?"

"Because it's new, the Quarians have been on a solid vegetarian diet, they had one food for hundreds of years, anything they eat hits them like a truck, and their animalistic part of their brains to overreact," Chakwas explained.

"I'M AWAKE!?" Vael shot up half asleep and extremely confused. "Wha~? Why are all of you in my room? Why is your head a marshmallow?"

"Go back to bed ya dummy," Nick tapped her forehead.

"You're a dummy... ya big-headed... punk~," she fell back to sleep.

"I'll keep an eye on them," Chakwas shooed the three men out of the door.

"OP, one sec!" Walter did something and my bug went dead, those are expensive! "I'm going to let them sleep it off. I'll be in the Shuttle Bay helping the others take apart the Puma, call me if you need me!" he cheered skipping out of the room.

"That guy worries me sometimes," Vakarian muttered, "he has all this power, and he acts so carefree. Is that normal?"

Shepard shrugged, "Power has a way of showing people who you really are, I'm just happy Nick's a lay back kind of guy, I sometimes think about someone like TIM having his power, the untold destruction, the death, the misery, just to see if he could cure a common cold faster, the fact that Nick makes fun of everything lets me sleep better at night."

Leave it to Shepard to miss the big picture, The Illusive Man might do unsavory things, but it would only be for the betterment of humanity, sometimes you must get your hands dirty if you want things to get done.

"I guess it could be worse," Vakarian muttered, "We could have been dealing with another Saleon."

"Yeah, now all we have to deal with is a Young Frankenstein with a heart of gold," Shepard joked. I wouldn't be surprised if he brought someone back from the dead with an abnormal brain. "Lawson," he greeted me sitting across, with Vakarian next to him. If I didn't know better, I would think these two were joined at the hip.

"John," I greeted back.

"Commander," he corrected, "Shepard if you're feeling friendly."

"Right, Shepard what can I do for you?" I asked, gritting my teeth. Any steps I took to get Shepard to trust me as been slowly eroded away thanks to that bloody wizard!

"We'll be arriving in Illium tomorrow morning, what do we know about the Assassin and Justicar?"

"Have you read their Dossiers?"

"Yes, Thane Krios, Drell, professional assassin, one of the best, with an assassination list a mile long with near-perfect completion. And impeccably well dressed, I'm not sure who's writing the Dossiers, but I think they might have a crush~," he drawled.

"Right~, Krios has been hunting in Illium for the last two years, all his targets worked for one person, Nassana Dantius. He has been laying low, no doubt to get to her."

"Dantius? I know that name."

"I think it was that Asari emissary, the one that tricked us into killing her slaver sister," Vakarian answered.

Shepard snapped his fingers, "That's her! I still don't know why she lied about that, I was happy to kill another slaver."

"It's all about reputation with the Asari," I sighed. "Next would be the Justicar."

"Samara, the dossier was a bit iffy, not much about her other than that she was some sort of super Asari commando that does whatever she wants, when I did some research all I got was some Asari cartoons about Justicars," Shepard hummed.

"Understandable there are very few justicars left in the galaxy, and their order is very secretive, but they are some of the most powerful biotics in the galaxy, even by Asari standards. From what Cerberus was able to dig up, Justicars are a lot like the Spectres, but only in Asari space, they tend to follow a strict set of rules only they know and act as Judge, jury, and executioner," I explained, of all our possible recruits I find Samara the most problematic, even Walters works with the gray of the universe, Justicars only see the galaxy as black or white, and I doubt she'll see Cerberus anything other than black.

"That's a bit troubling," Shepard huffed, "Are they Paladins?"

I shrugged, "I wouldn't know."

He shook his head at me, "I wasn't talking to you," he gently placed his glowing gun on the table with his hand over the weapon. He must be talking with his god, the idea that something out there is judging us feels wrong, how can something that doesn't have to live through our lives judge us for our actions. "Okay, so they aren't Paladins more like an order of monks that kill because they think they know best."

"Like every government in the galaxy?" Vakarian asked.

"That's a bit cynical~," Shepard drawled.

"And accurate," Vakarian joked, I think, I don't know Turian sarcasm. "Any idea where we can find them?"

"Kind of, the Maker told me to have that Prothean statue I kept from the Hock's vault ready when we get to Illium," Shepard huffed.

"So, what's that like? Is it just a voice in your head? Or is it visions? Give me something," Vakarian huffed, I'd be lying if I said wasn't curious myself.

"Mmm, you know, now that I think about it, it's almost like a dream, nothing's perfectly clear, sometimes it hits me hard, like one of my Drill Sergeants when I was first in the military, screaming right in my ear, making it perfectly clear what I'm supposed to do and how I'm failing, other times it's like an imaginary whisper that I can't shake, calling me from a distance. Sometimes there are no words, just signs, on the Way to the ship yesterday the Neon signs that littered Zakera Ward led us down an alley filled with Quarians and beggars, Nick cured their immune systems, gave them money, and shooed them away."

"How much are we talking about?" Vakarian asked.

"There were about 20 Quarians and he gave them 50,000 each."

"That's a million Credits!?" The turian gawked, I did too, you can't just toss around that sort of money.

Shepard just waved it away, "Trust me, he could afford it. He and Anderson had quite the monetary battle, we walked away with quite a large amount of money. Turns out the Alliance is willing to shell out for art and slightly used tanks."

"Still, you can buy a slightly used frigate for that amount of money," Vakarian shrugged.

"Nick knows he's in that sweet spot where he knows the Reapers are coming and knows everything is going to skyrocket, so you might as well buy it cheap while you can, cause Credits won't mine much during the war," Shepard explained.

"It doesn't hurt that he's from another dimension, and leave this universe behind if things get too dangerous," I drawled, this was one of the major reasons I couldn't trust Walters, this isn't his world, none of this matters to him, if he feels like it, he can walk through his portal and tell us to suck eggs, and there is nothing we can do about it.

"True, the fact that he's helping us at all is very lucky," Shepard sighed.

"You're welcome~," Qina sang, sitting next to me, with a plate of pancakes. Ayla Qina was a half-elf, meaning she was part human, which should be impossible, two different races that evolved through different evolutionary chains shouldn't be able to produce children, and yet here she is. You better believe this got a lot of Cerberus scientists interested, of course, Walter's threat still hangs overhead, waiting for us to do anything that he would consider threatening. Before I would have scoffed at such a threat, but I've seen what Walters could do, I have no doubt he would upgrade every man, woman, and child if it meant Cerberus burned slowly and painfully.

"Hey Ayla, didn't see you yesterday," Shepard nodded.

"I was doing my monthly round at Sky City Hospital," she sighed.

"You work at a hospital? I thought you were a traveling healer or whatever you humans call it," Vakarian muttered.

"Cleric~. The Maker has given me holy power to help the people, I just found it easier to do it from a hospital, people tend to come to me, I sometimes do field work though, when I teach young students the ropes, but that was some time ago~, my old students have students of their own now, and basic healing is something most young sorcerers do in basic training. I mostly handle the big cases and do some public ceremonies like weddings or coming-of-age celebrations with Ava and Sereda."

"Uh~, am I supposed to do that?" Shepard asked.

"Hum~, Maybe, you probably should be, ya see the more people believe in the Maker the more powerful you become. You have EDI, Joker, Anderson, Chakwas I think, no doubt a few Krogan, but if you want real power you have got to boost your numbers. You don't even have holy armor, you barely have a pistol," she teased.

"So, gods work through Faith?" I asked.

She tilted her hand side to side, "Kind of, there's more to it, but that's the basic way of putting it, sometimes it's about belief, not faith. As long as people know the Maker is real you get power from it, that's why Wrex got all that power, the Krogan people believe in Vaul, they may not Pray to him, but they know him, and he could then control that power and funnel it back to Wrex. You felt it right, back at the Shaman quarters when you got close to the Symbol of the Maker?" Shepard's eyes grew, "The shamans know of the Maker, they even gave a minor prayer as payment for us helping the female camp."

"That explains why I felt ready to fight another Thresher Maw. When do you think I'll gain holy armor?"

Qina shrugged, "Hard to tell, Thedas was the birthplace of the Maker, so with was drowning with holy power, the milky way is filled with potential, but any useable power is all over the place... I can feel it sometimes ya know, there are a lot of dead gods out there." well that was ominous.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When gods die, they tend to leave power behind, almost like an imprint, usually another god takes their place, but not here, it's as if all their followers were killed before a new God could rise," she gave us a long look, "The Reaper War is going to be ugly, be ready for that Shepard. The Maker will sound every warning bell he can, and a lot of people are going to get desperate for the gods to fix this, that means we aren't going to get much of a break when all this really kicks off."

"We?" I asked, "You would stay even if Walters didn't."

She shrugged, "I doubt Nick is going anywhere, even if he did you wouldn't force me to return, he respects my choices, that's what it means to love someone, to trust and support... and sometimes crazy monkey sex. Please tell me you aren't one of those people who think they need to be constantly challenging their lovers because love is some sort of competition."

"No," I drawled, is being in a polyamorous relationship dull you to polite conversation?

"Good, nothing feels better than when you make a crazy plan and the people around you just nod along and follow your lead. Of course, there is a small chance you might be wrong and have to spend a week bedridden because of a broken leg, but who could have known you couldn't outrace an avalanche on a snowboard," she let out a long sigh, "Nick had me in a cast for a week as punishment. Still, I got my needs handled, even if I was teased for a month. Life~, am I right~?"

"No," I deadpanned.

Qina just looked at me, "You know if you were a bit frumpier, cockier, and could take a joke. Nick would have probably adopted you," I raised my eyebrow at her, "Oh, it's true~, You and Morrigan have so much in common, both of you have an aura of raw power, intelligence, and pragmatism. Morrigan was a bit of a role model when I first started out. She took shit from no one, not the King of Ferelden, Not Nick, not even Sky, when she did something she would do it right or not at all."

"Was she a noble?" Shepard asked, "Most Kings don't just take shit from anyone."

Qina shook her head, "She was a Witch of the Wilds, they're usually myths and legends, magic users that practice forbidden magics."

"I'm guessing that's illegal~," Vakarian drawled.

"More like frowned upon, some magics are forbidden because of the danger that comes with casting it, others because of what's needed to do it right, one of those being..." She actually looked around as if someone would show up and reprimand her, "Blood Magic," she whispered.

"Blood magic?" I asked.

She nodded, "It's a form of sacrificial magic, to give up something to gain something else. That's also how Revivify works, as long as the gods agree, I can give up wealth and some of my power, I'll become the bridge for the dead to return. By giving up Blood the caster can gain serious power, and it doesn't have to be your own, but nothing comes without a cost. Blood magic messes with the mind and the body, it also attracts demons."

"You know I've heard Nick talk about demons, but I don't really understand, what are Demons?" Vakarian asked.

"Mmm~, our realm of magic is extremely close to our material realm, we're practically right on top of one another, we call it the fade, a place ruled by spirits and demons, but the truth is a bit different. The Fade is a realm of Power and imagination fueled by magic; things tend to get a little crazy, and Spirits and demons are just manifestations of emotions and beliefs. Demons of Rage, Fear, Despair, Hunger, Wrath, Pride, and every other negative emotion you can think of can form given time and repetition. We tend to avoid fields that once had nasty battles because Demons linger, the last emotions of people dying tend to be strong and long lasting."

"That doesn't sound good," Shepard muttered.

"They usually don't last longer than 5 years, but you got to be careful, some Demons make that area their hunting ground absorbing weaker demons and try to jump from one realm to another. It usually doesn't get that bad, 9 times out of 10 a cleric or paladin comes along and blesses the area dispelling any lingering malicious entities."

"And spirits are different?" I asked.

"While demons are manifestations of negative emotions, Spirits, on the ither hand, are manifestations of positive emotions, Bravery, Honor, Compassion, Hope, Faith, Justice, and every other emotion we believed to be morally right, in times of great danger some spirits give power to a chosen few making them Warlocks. This is considered to be very dangerous and you should end the contract as soon as possible."

"Dangerous? Why, they are helping," Shepard asked.

Qina nodded, "True, but you must understand, spirits and demons are simply emotions manifested into beings of power, and people could twist those emotions, when does Duty become Pride, or Love become Lust, or Justice become Vengeance. And those are Spirits, they want to do good, they want to help, Demons don't, they don't care about you, only what they can take, they come to you when you're at your lowest, they promise you anything you want for your body, to nestle themselves next to your soul, to feel what you feel, to taste what you taste, and when they've had enough they dump you corpse and find a new sucker."

"Why would anyone do that?" The idea made me feel sick.

"Power~, we call these mages, abominations, the demon shoves power into your body morphing you into a monster but will give you power that you couldn't get normally, most times it leads to madness and lots of death. If we are fast enough," she gestures to Shepard and herself, "we could exorcise the demon saving the person before too much damage is done. I did it a few times, it's like wrestling a grease Nug," she shrugged. I don't know what a nug is, but I don't want to touch one.

"Do we need to worry about Demons?" I asked, The Illusive man needs this information.

She gave a hum, "I doubt it, your Magic Realm is pretty far from the Material Realm, that's why you don't have natural Mages, as long as your realms are far apart I doubt any Spirit or Demon will go out of their way to come all the way over here," she answered shoving some pancake into her mouth.

"But is it possible?" I asked.

"uh~, maybe~, you would need a stupid amount of power to bridge the gap, and only an idiot would use that much uncontrollable power, if it helps, anyone who tries will most likely die before they even get close... probably~," she shrugged, "I'm not a theoretical magic scientist. I'm a woman of action!" She shoved her fork into the air like it was a sword. "I learn by doing, and punch people with holy books!"

Well, at least she's honest.

-/-

Tali POV

"It's hot~," Nick whined. Nos Astra was located closer to the equator of Illium making it a toasty 63 degrees Celsius on the ground floor but up here in the buildings, it was still a hot 30 degrees, and it was muggy. I'm beginning to miss my air-conditioned suit, a little bit, kind of, I could use a cool drink. At the moment Shepard was talking to an employee of the Docking Bay about parking the Normandy, while Nick, Jak, Jenny, Dagna, Lia'Vael, and I were by the ship, everyone else was waiting for Shepard's all clear before they got off the ship.

"Why are you complaining Nick, we have magic Runes that keep us at 22 degrees~," Jak teased, she was wearing a leather jacket, white tube top, and jean shorts with her Pistol strapped to her thigh.

"What!?" Jenny groaned, who was still wearing her belt 'shirt' that covered her nipples and not much else and her baggy pants.

"I just wanted the nonmagical peasants to feel like we are mutually suffering," he said in the most pompous stuck-up way a man could.

"We can take him~," Jenny muttered to me.

"He's goading you~," Ayla teased, she was wearing a cute sundress that left her shoulder free and went down to her knees. "The second you get close enough his going to put you in one of these." She played with her dress showing off her legs.

"I get the dress but why are you wearing Converse? I'm not a fashionista but I'm pretty sure that doesn't go well together," Lia'Vael asked.

Ayla shrugged, "I like the dress and we tend to kick people a lot."

"Let me guess it also keeps you cool~," Jenny groaned. The sundress morphed into Ayla's usual armor, before changing back.

"According to Nick this place is Orlais with taller buildings, and trust me, you don't want to be an elf in Orlais without a good set of armor and weapons."

"I don't think a dress would be called armor," Jenny countered.

"It's magic armor, its outer appearance is just a show, magic is doing the heavy lifting," she gave a twirl.

"What the hell!? why doesn't Nick give us all magic-changing armor?" Jenny huffed.

"You don't even wear shirts~," Nick huffed, "and now you want magic armor~, don't make me laugh. You want magic armor prove to me that you can wear normal clothes, here, this Jacket is made of Drake Leather with a comfort rune." he tossed her a black scaled jacket that reached her hips, "And these," he passed her some jeans, "And let's not forget about this," he passed her a bikini top.

Jenny rose an eyebrow at him, "Really?" she deadpanned.

Nick shrugged, "I would have given you a shirt but I'm pretty sure you would have thrown it away. And as we are in the content of clothing what do you think of your new work outfit Tali~?" He pulled out some purple overalls with my Clan markings. Just overalls. "They come with gloves and boots~."

"Wha-what about a shirt?" I stuttered. He just smiled, I gulped, "W-well, it doesn't matter, I completed my end of the deal!"

He looked around, looking for something before focusing back on me, "You told me that you spent 50,000 creds and that your stuff should be here, but I see nothing... it's not chocolate right? You're not allowed any chocolate," he loomed over me with a serious face.

I pushed his face away, "It's not chocolate... Shepard would have spotted it, and Garrus would have tattled," I hissed.

"Then what are we looking for?" Nick asked looking around the docks.

"Excuse me?" an Asari woman in a business suit walked over, "Are any of you Tali'Zorah Vas Neema?"

"That would be me," I stepped forward showing my identification.

"Please sign here," she showed me the contract, which I read carefully, trust no one in Illium, everything was in order, so I signed. "Thank you for doing business. Zura'Nul, this is your new master." the Asari waved over a young Quarian woman who was just looking wide-eyed at me. Even Nick looked wide-eyed. "No more stock market playing," she patted the Quarian on the shoulder.

Zura'Nul gave a sheepish nod, "I understand, thank you for looking after me Ms. Mado."

"Think nothing of it kid, I might not be fully Quarian but my father taught me a thing or two about the homeworld." she gave me one last nod, "Good to see the Quarians are curing their immune system," was all she said before leaving.

The docks were quiet with Only Shepard talking to the Dock worker with Zaeed, Garrus, and Miranda.

"Um, Nice to meet you, my name is Zura'Nul Nar Fiji, thank you for buying me," she gave us a small bow, "I, um, made a few mistakes at the stock market, I'll work very hard to pay you back!"

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.

.

"Alright~, first things first, my name is Nick Walters, Space wizard, healer, sucker," he shook her hand, lighting her up like a supernova before letting her go, "and it's nice to meet you. Now," he turned to my smug smirk and gave me a single annoyed look, "This doesn't count."

I passed Zura'Nul a single bag of chips, "Open that for me please." she looked all kinds of confused, but did it anyways. Taking a single bite before giving them to Jak, "I couldn't have another bite~. Zura'Nul I free you from the contract."

"What?" She looked even more confused. "But the emancipation fees!"

I open my Omni tool and paid it in full, it wasn't that much, I'm happy to say that Quarian aren't a hot item, so we are rather cheap to free and expensive to own. "Paid for, you are as free as a chicken."

"Bird," Jenny corrected.

"Whatever. I just wasted over 100,000 credits on something I wanted and then let them go~. Aren't I selfish?" I smirked at Nick.

"Eh~, selfish~, irresponsible with money~," Jak tilted her hand side to side, eating my left-over chips.

"You went over your limit," Nick countered.

"I did, but then I was given 10 million Credits to play with."

"Yes, for the engineering crew," he hummed.

"Yes, and I'm part of the engineering crew~," I gave my most innocent face, "And I needed a Quarian slave girl to open my bag of chips, and as you can see, my chips were opened. I no longer need her." I walked over to Zura'Nul and removed her mask. She was scared, but seeing my face must have calmed her, just like me she had a pale complexion with Bio-enhances on her face but had white hair. I leaned in close, "I need you to give me the most scared face you can manage," I whispered, before backing away. As I gave Nick a full view of Zura'Nul he raise to his full height, Julee was right, Nick is a sucker for a damsel with a pretty face. Men~, so predictable. "I guess she can go back to living in the streets~," I sighed.

"I know you're playing me," he growled.

"Mmm, but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let this young lady live in this hellhole? By herself? To prove a point? Rather cold-blooded of you Walters, I thought you were a better man~," I teased.

His face twisted through multiple emotions, Human faces are amazing, he changed from angry, to annoyed, to confused, to prideful, and landed on impressed. "Well played Tali'Zorah Vas Neema Nar Rayya, I'm still getting a rules lawyer, but you've impressed me enough for one." He summoned a stone tablet filled with Ancient Quarian writing. It was floating on some kind of piece of polished wood. An actual peace of Rannoch, of the homeworld, in my hands, I was touching a piece of home with my real fingers. Lia'Vael was right next to me staring down at its majesty.

"Um~, I'm a little lost," Zura'Nul muttered.

"Allow me to fill in the blanks," Nick smiled down at her. "Tali here made a deal with me, I gave her 50,000 credits for her to use on anything her heart desired, to be as selfish as possible. She played hard and loose with the rules, but I'm still impressed, so I gave her part one of the stories of Seesin'Xees written on a limestone tablet from Rannoch," he said it so gods damn nonchalantly it made me want to kick him in the quad, does he not know how valuable these are!? Oh wait, he gave me millions of credits and didn't care about how I spent his money. Looking over I find Zura'Nul gaping like one of Shepard's fish, at least someone here understood the importance of what I'm holding. "Don't get comfortable~, I still have four more and we still need a Rules Lawyer to look over Tali's cheating."

"I didn't cheat!" I hissed, "You didn't make the rules clear!" I gently place the tablet into my Bag of Holding, much to Zura'Nul's shock. "You just want me to wear that ridiculous Bunny girl outfit!" Julee ended up showing me every outfit she wanted to put me in. I could never show my face or body to anyone after seeing, let alone wearing, some of those!

"Guilty as charged~," he smiled, that Bosh'tet.

"I'll do it," Zura'Nul whispered.

"Mmm~?" Nick leaned in.

"I'll wear whatever you want, as long as I get the tablets!" she roared, her face the same color as a tomato.

"OH! Love the enthusiasm, but no can do~," Nick shrugged.

"What? WHY!? Is it because, you know," she mimed her breasts, "I'm not as big as Tali'Zorah?"

"Don't be silly, breasts are for literal babies, I love me a good thicc rump personally, and you Quarians don't seem to be lacking in that department." Keelah what a perv. "The problem is that you aren't yet an adult by Quarian standards, and trust me Ms. Nul, I'm going to need some adult consent." at least he has some sort of standards.

"Then, I'll use the tablet as my Pilgrimage gift and work for you."

"You could always use another test subject for project Quarian Might~," Lia'Vael called out. That would give the galaxy two super Quarians.

Nick narrowed his eyes, "Mmm~, maybe, but only if Tali agrees."

I blinked and pointed to myself, "Me?"

Nick shrugged, "Yes, the rules lawyer could still side with you, and all this would be unnecessary. We are on a dangerous mission, having to work with a terrorist organization and unlikely allies to save the galaxy. There's no reason to bring this young woman along, I'll even give her enough money to get the hell off this planet and somewhere safe with enough for her to have a good head start somewhere else." He opened his Omni tool and sent me another 200,000 credits, enough for any Quarian to get a gift and have some left over.

"Zura-"

"The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this?" she interrupted me.

I was shocked at my own words, "How?"

"Your show is very popular," she showed me a clip from my cartoon series. It may have been a bit overdramatized as I talked down to Udina. But damn if I didn't look cool. "You're a hero, you stood where others would falter. So much was lost after the Morning War, our people need those tablets, we need a piece of us before," she pulled on her enviro-suit, "THIS! Please give me this chance."

I gritted my teeth; can I really tell her to take the money and go? I'm sure if Shepard gave me a million credits and told me to go, I would have just snuck into the Normandy anyway, I'm stubborn like that. "Do you know what you're asking for? I'm working with Commander Shepard to stop the collectors from abducting humans, Cerberus is working with us, and this mission could be generously called suicidal."

"All the better I'm there then. You need more people you can trust to watch your back," She had a determined look on her face.

I let out a long sigh, I just wanted to win, save a Quarian from Slavery, and send her off with enough money to buy a pre-owned Corvette, and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that pesky Quarian stubbornness... Wait~. "We need to ask Shepard!" You need a captain's permission to live on their ship!

"Ask me what?" Shepard asked walking over with Zaeed and Miranda. "And who's this?"

Zura'Nul fumbled a bit giving a sloppy salute. "I-I'm Zura'Nul! Captain Shepard!"

"Uh, okay." He looked over at me with a confused look on his face. "At ease," he ordered. "Can someone bring me up to speed?"

"Right, this is Zura'Nul, she wants to join the Normandy," I shot him murder eyes, telling him to say no.

"Absolutely not!" Miranda answered. Anyone other than her would have been better, anybody, Grunt, Jenny, EDI, ANYBODY!

"That's a shame because I was planning to give the ground crew my super armors if we did~," Nick drawled. Fuuuuuuuck! Nick just loves making Miranda's day worse, if she says something he's there to say the opposite, and he tends to have better bribing tools!

"We don't need any more engineers," she hissed.

"You can never have enough, this isn't a kitchen Lawson, it's one of the most advanced pieces of technology in the galaxy, I seriously doubt they couldn't use an extra hand, a super-powered hand~." Nick offered.

"Ms. Nul please ignore these two," Shepard sighed, "You do understand what you are asking for, there is a loose AI on that ship, look there she is!" Shepard pointed to EDI's human body moving the large Prothean artifact out of the Shuttle Bay with ease.

"Shepard, where do you want this?" EDI asked.

"Oh, uh, just put it over there, Liara should be here soon and have her own people move it away, Thanks." he looked back to Zura'Nul, "See... uncontrolled AI." I facepalmed.

Zura'Nul had a confused look on her face, I couldn't blame her, EDI's body was extremely lifelike, and even I had trouble telling that she was a robot. "Uh, I'll take your word for it, but I still want to go! Tali'Zorah is a hero of the Migrant fleet, if she trusts you to lead her, I trust you as well!" When did I become a bloody hero that inspired the younger generation!? I'm going to tear out my hair!

"We don't have the budget to hire another engineer," Shepard sighed, that was a lie, we were drowning in money after that heist.

"No worries Shep!" Nick interrupted, "I'm more than happy to cover it! Lia, sweety, how much do I pay you?"

"Hum, for the experiments or as an engineer?" he pays you for both?

"Both."

"Hum, it was 150,000 credits as a sign-up bonus, along with the Badassium, arc-reactor, as my pilgrimage gift, and the clothes. you are paying me 10,000 credits a week for engineering," she answered.

10,000! Per week! What the hell!? That's more than I get for my Cartoon royalties! I looked over to Shepard, "You don't even pay me~," I whispered to him as Nick started negotiating payment with Zura'Nul.

He shrugged, "You have all my money," he whispered back.

"Yeah, to stop you from buying useless things."

"The model of the Alliance dreadnought Kilimanjaro isn't a waste of money," he hissed. "My mother serves on that ship."

"Don't you try and justify your ridiculous expenses, buy weapons, armor, mods, not toys?"

"They're collectibles~."

"And the dozens of dead fish~?"

"I'm busy, I forget to feed them sometimes," he gritted his teeth.

"Then buy an automatic fish feeder you dork, stop wasting money."

"Pets are good for the soul~," he huffed.

"That's why you bought the ugly rat."

"Sir Reginald the 8th is a mighty Space hamster, don't call him names."

"Yeah, I saw your little Space Hamster escaping the kitchen with a bag of trail mix like a thief in the night."

"Like I taught him~. Survival at any cost."

"You're an idiot, now please tell her that you can't hire her, we both know Nick will give her a bunch of money, and if we ask maybe a golem for protection."

"You think she can help?"

"It's not that~, it's just... we're on a very dangerous mission, one mistake and we're dead, I didn't want Lia'Vael to be here either, but Nick got to her first," I sighed. The look of hope Lia'Vael had when we first met was blinding, I have no idea how long she was on the streets, Nick appearing and giving her everything she needed must have been a gift straight from the ancestors. I'm not saying Nick is a bad guy, it's just wherever he goes he just happens to be in the right place at the right time. "I just worry."

"Well, what did it feel like when you joined the Normandy for the first time?"

"Keelah, I'm being abducted by a human that doesn't know what a shower is," I teased.

"After that~," he huffed.

"What am I doing here? Standing in the most advanced frigate in the Galaxy, hunting a madman who has an army of Geth."

"And then?"

"I chewed out Crosby for an hour for playing around in the engine room."

"I know, I remember that, it took me and Adams to pull you away from the poor girl."

"The Engine room is not a play pin!" I hissed.

He nodded, "I agree, it took you less than a week to be Adams' right-hand woman, you know the Tantalus drive core better than just about anyone there, I wouldn't be surprised if Quarian ships had their own."

"You're joking, do you have any idea how expensive they are?" I joked.

"That's not the point, the point is that a bossy Quarian was able to adapt to her surroundings and thrive, all she needed was a chance."

"Quarians aren't bossy, we're assertive, but I get what you mean. Fine, you can hire her if you want but if we take over the Normandy there is no one to blame but yourself," I huffed.

"I think I can live with that."

"All go as high as 200,000 Credits, the rest of the tablets, and 2 arc-reactors, but you have to wear anything Julee makes and not whine... too much. You'll need Dr. Chakwas's permission to work as her Nurse and Mordin's to work in the lab as his assistant, and Shepard's... I guess."

"I also need funding for the Med Bay, Tech Lab, and engineering," Zura'Nul demanded.

"5,000 for each."

"No way! 10,000 each, like you have with Lia'Vael."

"You're crazy!" Nick gawked.

"I've seen what you want to put me in!" she points to the book filled with naughty clothes designs. "By Quarian law, I should arrest you," she hissed.

"... 7,500." that Bosh'tet isn't even defending himself!

"10,000! Don't think I don't know what you're planning~," she hissed. "If the Quarian immune system is cured they're going to need clothes, and surprise-surprise, you just happen to have clothes made for Quarians."

"... 10,000 you say? Let's get that in writing," Nick muttered.

"I want a raise," Lia'Vael spoke up.

"A RAISE? You've barely started working for me!?" Nick gasped.

"I know you stare at my ass," she crossed her arms

"I'll give you a 5,000-credit raise," he caved immediately.

"Happy doing business with you," they shook hands. That perverted Bosh'tet... does he stare at my ass? Can I get paid?

"All this is moot!" Miranda called out, "We don't need a nurse or lab assistant."

"Uh, have you seen poor Karin? She has to look after 115 people, I'm surprised she can even sleep! Just this morning, Sarah's foot got caught on one of the doors breaking a toe, EDI thought she was having a heart attack-"

"There was a burning in my chest," EDI called out.

"You were just embarrassed being caught looking at porn by your husband, and made up a poor excuse!"

"... you have no proof of this, my core could have been malfunctioning."

"Are you calling my work subpar!?" Nick roared.

"If the servo motors fit~," she snapped her fingers.

"HOLD ME BACK! HOLD ME BACK!" Nick ordered, being held back by Lia'Vael and Jak, "You're real cocky for a fancy washing machine!"

"I'll clean the floor with your face!" EDI yelled back.

"... Alright that one was good, but you need to work on your trash talk," Nick immediately calmed down, like he wasn't going crazy.

"Jeff told me as long as I was louder than the other guy, you tend to win arguments," EDI answered with a head tilt.

"Nah, loud words aren't enough, if your opponent can deliver a sick burn before you get loud, you'll only look like a loser," Nick corrected.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shepard asked.

"EDI asked me to help her with her trash-talking, so at random times I'll call her out and she needs to come up with something on the spot. She's doing very well," Nick complimented.

"Seriously~," I deadpanned, it's all fun and games until she takes over the galaxy.

"You never know when you need to verbally burn a fool," he shrugged, "Anyway, Zura here specializes in medicine, science, and of course Engineering. And since Lawson's been crying-"

"I'm not crying."

"-About Engineering, we might be able to help Chakwas help in the Med Bay and Mordin in the Tech lab," Nick shrugged.

"Mmm, Zura, you do understand what this means right? You are putting yourself in grave danger, but I don't think you understand, Nick, can you show her, truly show her?"

Nick just looked at Shepard for a long moment, before nodding. "Jak will catch you," he warned Zura'Nul before Illium's gravity slammed onto my shoulders with the rage of an angry Krogan, the heat was burning me from the inside out, and my breathing was way too shallow, it felt like I was back in the alley with Saren's assassins, fresh out of grenades, jammed gun, and there wasn't a group of heavily arm weirdos around the corner to save me. But even though the pressure, I stood on my feet, I couldn't say the same for Zura or Lia, Zura was being held up by Jak, while Lia was being helped by Ayla. Zaeed looked fine, hand on his sword, along with Shepard who looked like he did this every day, EDI was confused blinking rapidly unable to control herself, Miranda looked a little wobbly, and Jenny looked ready to throw a biotic shockwave, but before anything happened it just when away, the pressure vanished, I could breathe, and the fire that was threatening to engulf me fizzed out.

"D-D-Damn I-I-I-it," Lia stuttered, "Y-y-yours was d-d-different."

"I didn't want to take it too far, Sky doesn't have a filter, either you're strong enough or you're not, there is no middle ground with her. Still, good job. Not everyone could stay on their feet," Nick laughed like he didn't just try and crush us with his power.

"I d-d-didn't," Lia smirked.

"Give yourself some credit, you might be a bit loose but you're standing, far better than before. How is she?" he looked over to Jak.

"Out of it, give her a second," Jak whispered, helping Zura'Nul to her feet.

Zura took a deep breath, like she was drowning but was able to break the surface for air, coughing out her lungs. "W-wha?"

"That, Zura'Nul Nar Fiji, is what danger is, what death feels like, if you want to join my crew, know that's what you are facing, so I'm going to ask you one more time, do you want to do this?" Shepard asked.

Zura'Nul looked at him, then at Nick, who gave her an apologetic smile, and then at me. I don't even know what was on my face, was I scared, nervous, confused? Was I smiling like a crazy person or just blank-faced?

"I could have died from a cold you know? I could have accidentally eaten something that could have killed me, cut my suit, or just slept in the wrong alley, I might not have a gun pointed at my face, but I know what it is like to face death every day." she wobbled to her feet with the help of Jak and gave a salute, well she threw her limp noodle arm in an approximation of a salute, "Where do you need me, Captain?"

"And here I thought Tali was the special Chosen one, I guess every Quarian has an iron will~. Nick, can you make a room for her?" Shepard asked.

"Got ya, boss, ~," Nick gave him a salute and lead Zura'Nul and Lia'Vael back onto the ship.

"I also want that super armor!" Shepard called out, Nick just gave him a thumbs up.

"So, what was that?" a familiar voice called out. Turning we find Liara giving us a confused look, she looked a lot bluer than before, is that normal?

"Liara!" Shepard brought her into a hug, "I got you a gift!"

-/-

Nick POV

It didn't take long for me to make Zura her own room, she lasted a whole six seconds before she flopped on her new bed and was out like a light. I doubt she even understood the magic around us, she was just tired. So I left her to her dreams, I also put a Magic Dream Catcher over her bed, intimidation can have some pretty nasty side effects if your will isn't strong enough, and no matter what she says she's definitely not ready for my power. I left her to her dreams. Lia told me that she'll watch over her and give her the rundown on her duties.

"Another lady Nick~, you're going to make me jealous?" Kasumi teased, sitting by the bar.

I smiled at her, she was looking better, but she's a master thief so I couldn't take her smile at face value. "Is it working~," I smirked, sitting next to her.

"Mmm~, a little, but the millions of Credits you got me is helping me forgive you."

"Oof~, Saved by the money~," I joked, "Wanna hit up Illium? I heard there was a Shepard VI for sale and I neeeeed it!"

"You need therapy," she joked.

"That doesn't sound like a no~," I sang.

"Mmm, sure. Can't live in a bar for the rest of my life. Even though I am sure this magic juice is de-aging me." she squinted at her alcohol.

"Nah that's just some fire whiskey, if drank right you can burp out a fireball," I grabbed her glass chugging the drink, swished it in my mouth, and burped out a small fireball. "It also has a cheering charm to it, relaxes all your muscles, and drives away the cold."

"That explains the warmth I'm feeling. I usually have to be in pretty deep to feel this warm."

"Please tell me you're not drowning yourself in alcohol, I will have Sky babysit you," I huffed.

She scrunched her face at me, "Can't a lady enjoy a drink without some man telling her how to feel?"

"Of course, but this lady is my friend, and I don't want her to hide behind a bottle. I want her to enjoy life, you haven't tried to steal any of my rings in days," I flashed her my ring of telekinesis, "This one allows you to move things with your mind~, no biotics needed."

"Gasp! Are you saying I can steal things at a distance!?" she swooned, "I'll have you know Nat as already taught me Mage hand~."

"Yes, but this one only needs to be charged and is limited by your imagination, none of that '30 feet' nonsense."

"And I get to keep the ring?" she leaned forward

I shrugged, "Until a better thief steals it from you~."

"Mmm~, are you challenging me, Walters?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"No no no... yeah~, I've only seen the great Kasumi Goto from my side, I want to know what it's like to have her chase me for once~."

"You have a hammerspace," she deadpanned.

"Mmm, that does seem unfair~," I summoned some of my old necklaces of minor strength and health regen, along with a bag of holding on my waste and a few rings. "Is this enough~?"

"Gasp! To tempt a woman, men nowadays~, flaunting their business all over the place, showing off their wealth. You never know what kind of woman might... get handsy~."

"Goodness! Only a proper rapscallion would think of stealing from an innocent man like me~," I chuffed in an English accent.

"Well, we don't want that~, allow me to escort you, my good man, you can trust me~," her smile said otherwise.

"See that you do! I'll even reward you with a proper gift~."

"Gasp! Mister Walters! Have some decency!"

"Nonsense, that good commander fellow wanted me to get you top-of-the-line Magical armor, and with a strapping young lady like yourself on a dangerous mission like this, I couldn't think of anything less than the very best!"

"Then you have my thanks, Ser Walters! Come! Illium awaits!" We held it for a whole 5 seconds before we broke out laughing and marched out to the landing bay. She was already wearing one of my Rings by the time we got out there.

"Ah you must be Nick Walters," Liara called out.

Asari information broker

Liara T'Soni

Lvl: 41

Age: 108

HP: 740/800

BP: 1590/2000

Str: never underestimated archaeologist's right hook

Vit: late nights and rough mornings

Dex: kept up with a spectre

Wis: sometimes sacrifice is necessary

Int: sometimes violence is necessary

Cha: cute as a button, deadly as a blade

Luk: She's a hero

Ailments:

PTSD

Burnout

Constant migraines

Joint pains

heart palpitations

Dr. Liara T'Soni is an Asari researcher who has spent the past fifty years of her life studying Prothean technology and culture, specializing in the Prothean extinction. She was born on Thessia in 2077, making her "only" 108—barely an adult in Asari terms. She already has a great deal of insight into the Protheans and is a highly trained user of biotics.

Liara has become an information broker on Illium. Due to her association with Shepard, the Illusive Man gathered intelligence on her and erroneously came to the conclusion that she has begun working for the Shadow Broker, blacklisting her from Shepard's prospective new team.

She knows you came from another dimension.

"Dr. T'Soni~, a pleasure," I reached out shaking her hand and clamping on and began to heal her. "You know Doctor, Burnout is no joke, many people have died because they didn't take care of themselves." She gave me a confused look.

"Aren't handshakes usually only 3 seconds, this is easily 5, or is it different in your world?" she teased.

"I do apologize for my big meaty paws, but I find having a good grip on my patients makes it easier to keep them in place," I smiled at her.

"I... didn't know I was sick."

"Oh~, so the headaches, joint pains, the burnout, are what? Everyday things?" I teased.

"I have a stressful job," she countered.

"All the better to take care of yourself~." She lit up like the setting sun for a moment as I healed all her ailments. "There we go~," I smiled letting go of her.

She had a wide-eyed look on her face, "Oh~, That's nice." she massaged her forehead.

You can save the world back-to-back, but gain the power to relieve annoying pains, and you'll become a legend in no time. "For the Docking expenses. It couldn't have been cheap."

She waved it away, "It's nothing, my friends needed me. I also got a nice gift," she gestured to the Prothean statue. "I heard it used to belong to an arms dealer by the name of Hock." Kasumi sneered at the name for a moment.

I shrugged, "Never heard of him," I smiled. She just smiled back before walking back to Shepard. "She is a really good information broker," I muttered to Kasumi.

"You think she knows anything?"

"You still have your Kent glasses?" I asked.

She pulled out her glasses from her side pocket, "Never leave home without them," she smirked putting them on. I put on my own, I'm crazy but running around an Asari world after I humiliated them was not a good idea at best, suicidal at worst.

"Then off to adventure!" Ayla cheered leading us into the city.

-/-

Nos Astra was a beautiful city if a bit jarring, it was a bunch of skyscrapers connected with sky bridges and sky car docks, and the inside was made to look like a stacked mall. Unlike the Krogan pyramid, this design shot straight up in a circular pattern, it was beautiful, filled with lights and people having fun. Most of the ship crew has been given shore leave as we hunted down our two last recruits, leaving a skeleton crew behind, and a squad of Knight golems. We were pretty much all over the mall but a small group of us, consisting of Shepard, Dagna, Ava, Tali, Jacob, Garrus, Nat, Kasumi, Lawson, Jenny, and myself had been sitting at a food court after checking out the shops, while the others with more Shopping power went off to buy stuff.

Most of the people here were Asari, but you would see other races in between the sea of blues and purples. Have you ever heard of the uncanny valley effect? It's when you see something that looks human but isn't. It just doesn't have that thing that makes someone human, I don't know what it was for the Asari, Quarians had glowing eyes, bio-enhancers on their face, and hips that don't quit, Turians were completely inhuman so it was easy to get past the alien thing, as long as you don't feel uncomfortable with their unflinching predatory vision. Asari though, they were different, maybe it was the fact that they didn't have eyebrows but still painted them on, or maybe the head crest, it was more likely than not the blue skin, but it was more than that, the way they walked, talked, and acted. It was like some kids following a popular trend and trying to act cool, it was disconcerting.

"We're being followed~," Nat sang.

"They're not very good," Ava smirked.

"We all have to start somewhere," Kasumi giggled.

Behind us was a human and Asari, they tried the whole kissing thing a block down thinking that it would make me uncomfortable, they were very bad at it. It looked like a shark trying to kiss a beach ball, it only made me notice more. There was a turian woman on the floor above us, who has been looking over to us every few seconds while keeping a decent upper ground, and a Krogan and salarian were up ahead of us... reading physical newspapers, with holes cut into them so they could see us.

"I don't know, these guys look like master criminals~," I giggled.

"Maybe they want an autograph~," Dagna cheered.

"Mmm, but who here would be the celebrity?" Garrus asked.

.

.

.

We looked over to Shepard.

"It could be anyone." Shepard answered looking around for the person of interest, "keep an eye out."

"It's you~," we all said at the same time.

"What~? Don't be ridiculous."

"You had this problem back when we were hunting Saren," Tali huffed, "Every time we had to go back to the Citadel, we had to stand like 10 feet away as your groupies swarmed you."

"Okay~, but how do they know I'm even here, most people still don't think I'm alive," Shepard countered.

"Oh, I don't know~, I guess they knew that 'this is your favorite spot in Illium~'," Garrus drawled.

"... I needed that discount," Shepard answered, "But that doesn't really answer the question, what do they want from me?

"Hey! Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh!" I shushed them, "I think their leader is coming over, act cool," I whispered, leaning back and checking my nails trying to act nonchalantly.

"I hope I'm not interrupting~," it was a human man with a chiseled face, perfect teeth, and enough swagger to drown a hippo. The man looked like he came out of a top 10 good-looking guys vid, slapped on a leather vest, no shirt of course, shirts are for the weak that don't have a six-pack, apparently, blue jeans and some kind of scaled boots, I wanna say crocodile. He took an empty seat and placed a gun on the table.

"Oh~, very intimidating," Jacob teased.

"Ah~, bravery in the face of danger, I like that," he through a salacious smirk at Jacob. "Names Bain Massani~." OH SHIT!? Apparently, that was the emotion going around because we all just stared at me, I think he misinterpreted our looks, because he gained a smirk, "I see you heard of me."

"... Kinda," I answered. I looked over to Shep, who was looking over at me in the same amount of shock, I mean... what are the chances~. "So, what can we do for you Bain~?"

"I'm here for a bounty, I would like this to go smoothly."

"You think you and your little group of piss-ants can take me in?" Jenny laughed.

Bain gave her a confused look, "Uh, I have no idea who you are Doll face, I'm here for him~." he pointed across the group landing on... me.

I looked at him, then the gun, back to him, back to the gun, him, gun, him, gun, before pointing to myself, "MEEEEE~!?"

"You are Nick Walters, yes? The glasses threw me off but after you took them off, I was certain it was you," Bain smirked.

"Kasumi and Jenny started laughing, "OH GOD YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!" Kasumi chortled; she even snorted a little.

"SOMEONE TAKE A PICTURE!" Jenny laughed pointing at me. Lawson obliged, good to see they agree on something.

"Who would want me? What have I done to get a bounty!?" I was flabbergasted, I don't think I was that much of a menace, I think the Alliance may not be happy with me taking so much money.

"According to your profile, you burned down the Asari republic... how you burned down a government I have no idea, but they want you bad."

I snapped my fingers, "oh yeah~, I did do that! If you don't mind how much am I worth?" I've never had a bounty, not even Orlais has given me a bounty.

"3 million," he answered.

"HA! Those are pussy numbers!" Jenny teased.

"What the hell! I burned down an entire government, uprooted billions upon billions of lives, and I only got 3 million!? This is unfair!" I was outraged, "Jenny What was your bounty?"

"Triple digits~, chump."

"Garrus!?"

He gave me an apologetic shrug, "Those mercs really wanted me dead,"

"Shep?" I was losing hope, am I the lowest bounty on the ship?

"... It isn't a legal bounty~," he couldn't even lie to my face.

Kasumi patted me on the shoulder, "Yours is bigger than mine," she had another one of my necklaces.

"That's because you don't have one!" I hissed. "I feel so small and insignificant."

"Hey-hey~, your valuable to me, literally." Bain pointed his gun at me, "So if we could do this calmly."

I huffed, "You all sit back, me and Freddie will handle this," I told the group. Combining prestidigitation and inspiration, I created a perfect illusion of Freddie Mercury sitting on the table next to ours.

"Freddie Mercury!?" Jacob gasped. Huh, who knew Jacob liked the classics.

"Who?" Bain asked before a piano was heard throughout the tower and Freddie started singing 'Don't Stop Me Now'.

Acting quickly, I slammed the table causing it to tilt and slap the gun out of Bain's hand, catching him completely off guard and allowing me to hop the table and drop kick him in the chest.

Minimal Strength + sneak attack + fisticuffs = 113 points of bludgeoning damage.

Sending him flying ass over tea kettle into the empty table across from us. Grabbing the gun Bain lost I launched it at the Turian on the floor above us trying to get her gun in place, only to get domed by my impromptu weapon, dropping her. I turned to the krogan getting him to Charge by taunting him.

"OLÉ!" I called out as I dodged him, before wrapping my hands behind him and sending him to Suplex City, slamming him into the floor. He was out of the fight for now, but the Asari was coming in hot with a Biotic rush, right into my Lariat, she made a choking noise before I dropped her. Well, she was so kind to make herself a living missile, I shouldn't waste it. I grabbed and launched her at the wide-eyed Salarian dropping both of them.

"RAAAAR!" the Krogan roared, pushing my strength I met his charge.

Strength contest!

Nick Walters vs Cal Kor

Victor: Nick Walters!

The Krogan was stopped much to his shock, "WHAT THE-" I unleashed a headbutt but held on to his hand so he snapped back giving him whiplash before I lifted him off the ground and launched him at the last human holding a shotgun, dropping them both.

I bumped my head to the music, inspiration is an insane power, it boosts you passed your max without causing pain, everyone was kinda moving in slow motion. "Don't stop me now~," I sang with Freddie, as he began to fade, the music being replaced with a bunch of groaning Bounty hunters.

"W-who, W-what are you?" Bain groaned.

I just smirked at him, "I'm Nick... your dad's friend~." He gave me a confused look before I cast sleep on him. He didn't have a concussion so he should be ok... probably. I looked back at the crew, who looked rather impressed, except Jenny who wanted me to get punched in the face. "So... who wants to tell Zaeed he's a papa~."

-/-

Zaeed POV

"I demand your pardon?" I demanded. Shepard and his little band of crazies called me to a police station.

"That's your son," Ayla pointed to the young man sitting in a holding cell with the rest of his hunting crew. They all looked like someone gave them a good beating.

"Mmm, see that's what I thought you said, but I don't have a son," I corrected her.

She shook her head, "His name is Bain Massani."

"Someone's taking you for a ride, the galaxy is a large place, lots of 'Massani's' out there," I huffed. Not the first dumbass to use my name.

"He looks exactly like you," She pointed out, I'm not going to lie to myself we had some similarities, but most humans look like humans. "And~," she added, holding up her magic book and waving it side to side, "The Maker confirmed it."

Right~ her 'god' "I don't believe in the gods."

"What!? But you've seen me use holy magic! You were there!" she gawked.

"All I saw was fancy lights and you swinging around a mace, it's going to take a lot more to convince me," I huffed.

"Are you testing me, Massani?" She hissed Narrowing her eyes at me

"Your rather spunky for a brat that couldn't weigh more than 100 pounds, wet," I chuckled.

"I'll have you know Massani, I kicked my fair share of ass, people fear me," she growled.

"Ayla~, I got your hot chocolate~!" Walters called out coming around the corner with a mug and donut. Why does he have glasses, and was his nose always so big, and when did he grow a mustache?

"Thank you~!" she cheered skipping over to Walters. Yep... quaking in my boots~.

"Be careful, Tali's around and for some reason, she's like 50% more sneaky when Chocolate is involved," he stage-whispered. "Zaeed! How's the family reunion?"

"I'm not his father."

"I'm guessing you didn't care for the gods?" he asked. I just huffed. "Yeah, not much of a follower myself," he passed me a sheet of paper, "Got Mordin to run a DNA test, don't worry~, Chakwas didn't break any doctor-patient confidentiality or whatever~, Mordin stole it from the Med Bay when she was busy checking in on Zura."

For a single sheet of paper, it was heavier than any rifle I have ever carried. Turning it over I saw the proof in black and white. I looked back up to the young man who was glaring holes at my forehead, "Well, shit." How did this happen? I looked at the kid's age, 27, what the hell was I doing 27 years ago? I looked deep into the kid's eyes, "... Jessie. Shit." He had her eyes. The same eyes that cursed me out as I left the house... "Why didn't she tell me?"

"You, okay?" Walters asked.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do here Walters?"

"You can talk to him?"

"He's a grown man. He doesn't need me in his life."

"Zaeed... I can never see my dad again, but I sometimes hear his advice in times of fear and confusion. You know what he would say here?" I didn't say anything, just staring at the angry young man across from me. "Tomorrow morning, are you going to be okay not doing anything or will you think of this moment every time you have a second to think for the rest of your life? Vito is gone Zaeed, so what drives you for tomorrow? Money, power, women? It could be family." This time I did look over at him, but he wasn't looking at anything, just staring out into his memories.

"... So, what is he in there for?"

"He tried to Cash my bounty~," he bounced his eyebrows at me.

"I don't know who that guy is, but I was after Walters!" the young man roared, getting up close to the bars. I looked back to Walters, who played with his Glasses, it must be some kind of magic.

"I'm his Lawyer, Saul Goodman. You're in big trouble young man, Bain Massani, was it?"

"What the hell are you talking about!? Walters is a wanted criminal!?" Bain roared, "I'm part of the Hunter's guild! Look me up!"

"Benny, can I call you Benny?"

"NO!"

"Benny listen, any other man at any other time, you would have gotten a slap on the wrist for the fight and let go, but you picked the wrong man at the wrong time, see Mr. Walters is part of Spectre Shepard's crew, and while Illium may be in the terminus system they pretend to follow the Council's rules to gain some of their protection, and I'm sure you understand that messing with a spectre's investigation isn't a good thing." Walters drawled. "I can have made it so none of you get out of this cell, or worse, shove you out on ground level, and I hope you understand what will happen to you when the sun came up. Lucky for you Mr. Massani, I was able to locate your father-"

"I don't have a father," he growled.

"Then you better thank the man next to me, it's thanks to him that you're getting out of here at all."

"Son, I suggest you keep your mouth shut," I advised.

"I'm not your son and you're not my father!"

"BENNY!" Walters calmed the situation, "Let my words sink into that punched in skull of yours. Mr. Zaeed Massani here is not your dad," the hell? "He is your father."

"What's the difference?" he huffed.

"Any dumbass can be a father, one drunk night can handle that, a dad is a title only given to men who were there to watch over you, to teach you, to love you, to build you up when you thought yourself broken. Zaeed may not have been there then, but he's here now. He is the only one saving you from a fate worse than death."

"And I should be grateful? For abandoning my mother?" he sneered, oh yeah, he's my boy. "He wasn't even there when she died!" oh Jessie~, I fucked up, didn't I?

"Nobody's perfect Benny. Zaeed didn't even know you existed until I called him, and here he is. It's never too late to reconnect. You will be released within an hour, I would suggest you talk, time waits for no man," he huffed and walked out of the room with Ayla close behind.

"Really~, Groucho glasses?" was the last thing I heard Ayla say before the door shut behind them plunging the room into silence.

.

.

.

"... Boy."

"What do you want?" He was angry, rightly so, Jessy must have told him about me.

"Respect your elders, brat. I may not have been there when you were young but I'm here now and I'll bend you over my knee."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Watch it you cheeky shit, Walters may have tenderized you, but I'll grind you down." I should have asked for some fatherly advice, "... how are you?"

"What the? I got beat up by some crazy space ninja to an annoying song sung by a ghost and thrown in jail! How do you think I'm feeling!?" he slammed the bars.

"You got cocky."

"If I knew-"

"-you would have still been beaten. Walters is an enigma, he has power beyond any normal person, trust me on this, he was playing with you, if you were anyone else, he would have beaten you into a hospital bed. You let your pride take command and got humbled, take this for what it is, a lesson."

"I don't need your advice," he hissed.

"Well, that's too damn bad, coz you're going to swallow it. The galaxy is a dangerous place, filled with dangers that you can't imagine, the second you think you have figured things out and are flying high something slams you back to earth. Be grateful it was Walters, I doubt he even cares. Did you even read his profile? Any sort of research? Background check? Did you even read his bounty poster? I have. Wanted alive for 3 million creds, wanted by Matriarch Benezia, who has been dead for 2 years, whoever made this claim was never going to pay, they were going to kill you and take Walters if he didn't use you to find whoever wanted him before he killed them all. I'm not going to tell you to stop being a bounty hunter and be something 'respectable', life doesn't work like that, do what makes you happy, but at least do it right. There probably isn't going to be a second chance." I sighed. How is this the most exhausting thing I've done in my whole life?

"... Why, why did you leave her? She told me stories about you, that you were some kind of Space hero, that you went out into space to fight all the bad guys."

God damnit Jes. "... your mother and I... were in the First contact war, barely 20, and was scared out of our minds, Aliens~," I sighed, "General Williams saw the writing on the wall, no air support, ammunition was running low, Food was almost empty, and most of us were fresh out of basic, and the Turians was fighting a total war, to them, there were no citizens. Shanxi was an out-of-the-way world that didn't have much to it, so when the Turians arrived blasting everything to dust we were caught with our pants down. Some people thought we could have won if we fought back a little longer, those people are dumbasses, most of the soldiers there were just a bunch of kids fresh out of basic trying to do their jobs, get paid, and go to college, not all of us were Commander Shepard or Anderson or Ryder, so in order to save our sorry ass General William sacrificed his military honor and surrendered, and a month later the second fleet beat the Turians back. Thousands of people were saved thanks to one man choosing people's lives over his pride."

"I already know this, I read about it in school."

"YOU KNOW NOTHING!" I roared causing him to flinch back, "You read about it in a book, I was there, I saw the bodies of dead, of men and women holding their children trying to save them with their bodies! I smelt the burning of flesh as Turians burned the dead, I watched families starve so their children could live, and I've seen the lifeless eyes of children who saw their families be butchered. You, know, nothing," I hissed. "And what did the Alliance do? To the man who paused the war, to save his soldiers and the people he swore to protect? They demoted him, they made him a pariah, and they dragged his name through the dirt. I couldn't stand for that, I fought against it, I made noise, and people got upset, your mother, rest her soul, didn't want any of it, she finished her time and wanted to rest, she wanted to live her life... with me, but I couldn't live in a place that did that to a man I respected, we argued, she wanted to live in a little farmstead in Eden Prime, I didn't want to live anywhere near the Alliance... we argued some more. And I left. And that was it, got some of my old buddies, made a merc group, and got into trouble." I let out a sigh, I need a... cigar. On one of the desks was a pair of fresh cigars with a note.

"Take one and pass it around~" with a smirking cartoon Walters, Walters is one of those people I don't want to get on the wrong side of.

"You smoke?"

"Why? You got one?" I passed him one of the cigars. "Whoa~, this is a real cigar... where'd you get this?"

"I know a guy." I lit my cigar and tossed my lighter to him. Doing the same he tried passing me the lighter, "Keep it, stole it from my old man, who stole it from his old man."

"Then shouldn't I steal it from you?" He joked, for the first time since I got here, he smiled. Oh, come on! He gets my grumpy face but Jessy's smile, that's seems unfair.

"The cycle has to end sometime, why not now. You got something planned when you get out of here?" I asked, watching him play with the gold flip lighter.

"Why? are you gonna teach me how to ride a bike?"

"Don't be a wise-ass, that also gets you shot."

"The Alliance has something going on, some sort of Race to Andromeda or whatever, thought I'd see what the big deal was with that. I thought catching Walters would get me some spending money. Guess not."

"Andromeda? That's far."

He shrugged, "didn't have much going on here, wanted to take my chances, never know, I might become a king or something."

"I should warn you; I got it from a fairly reliable source that being a king kinda sucks, nothing but a bunch of whiners and boot lickers, and not the good boot lickers that actually do their job, the kind that want to steal your shoes," I joked.

"I'll... keep that in mind. So, what were you doing in Illium?"

"I'm... saving the galaxy." that sounds way weirder to say when you mean it.

He just gave me a blank look, "Seriously? I'm not a kid anymore."

"Zaeed? You in here?" Shepard asked walking into the room, "We gotta... Situation upstairs."

"Shepard, tell this brat we're saving the galaxy~."

"Ah~, Bain, I see you're talking to your old man, take it from me, you think they're gonna be in your life forever... and then they're not. So have your talk. And yes, Zaeed is helping us defeat the collectors."

"The Collectors? You mean those freaks that have been taking people?"

"I'm guessing you heard?" Shepard sighed.

"They hit a place not too long ago, Fehl Prime, I have a safe house out there, got video evidence of them breaking up the place and taking a bunch of people, and also heard you destroyed one of their ships. I'm not sure you know what that means, the collectors are the boogeymen of the Terminus, the fact that it was you who did it, has the Terminus throwing a hissy fit, every pirate and slaver, every idiot with a ship and gun is getting all kinds of panicky. If you're really working out there, be careful, every dumb ass that wants to make a name for themselves thing taking on commander Shepard, well, that's usually the fastest way to either get blown up or be famous."

Shepard gave him a chuckle, "not the first time I ruffled some feathers, won't be the last. Stay out of trouble, we're upstairs," he told me and walked out the door.

"... Holy shit, he is saving the galaxy," one of Benny's little merc friends gawked. Bain rolled his eyes, but I could see the pride in his grin.

I spent the next hour talking about his work, training, and a few of my stories, but when we noticed that no one had come in to release them I headed out to find out what was going on. You could imagine my surprise when I found Walters sitting across an Asari woman in red armor, with the rest of the police hiding away.

"What did I miss?" I asked, keeping an eye on the Asari.

"Zaeed~! How's Benny? The kid had one hell of a chip on his shoulder," Walters called out from his swivel chair.

"He's fine. Came up here to find out what was holding up with his release."

"Ahh~, yeah Strawberry Shortcake over there is causing quite the kerfuffle. Yo Anaya!" Walters waved over an Asari police officer, "Can you please release the idiots downstairs, I'll keep an eye on this psychopath."

"She's a Justicar," the officer corrected.

I raised an eyebrow, "Justicar? As in~."

"The very same one we're looking for, and she threatened to kill you and everyone in this building Anaya, I don't give a flying fuck what she thinks she is. Shepard might get upset with me but if she tries anything I'll remove her from the census."

"You speak highly of your skills, but can you back up your words?" The Justicar countered.

"HA! But of course I can~, why do you think I stayed behind? Shepard wanted me to keep you from doing something stupid, like killing these poor Police officers who were only doing their jobs. Which I still find weird, isn't everything in Illium legal?" he asked me. I shrugged.

"Murder is still illegal," Anaya answered.

"That does make some sense, you can't go around killing the taxpayers, but like, who hires you? Companies? The city? Don't the companies run the cities? Like if a CEO kills someone, can they just wave away the crime? How does all this work? Is that why Sammy is here? Did a CEO kill someone and since Sammy doesn't care about laws, they are trying to get a head start on their escape?" Walters was just rapidly firing out questions, not allowing anyone to answer.

"You are a very curious man," the Justicar muttered.

"I got to know the answers~, I'm not like you Sammy, I live in a world of Black, White, and Gray~, sometimes they're even colors, it's rather beautiful. Like this Question... Why are you after your daughter?" The Justicar's eye's widened, Walters gave a low chuckle, "Why is it that every time I tell someone that I'm a sorcerer they laugh or roll their eyes, is it something on my face, is it the glowing eyes, maybe you just don't believe the words of a human~. Am I too young for you to take me seriously? Or maybe you don't believe in magic~, maybe you just don't like me for telling the galaxy the Asari's dirty little secret?" Walters laughed spinning in his chair, not noticing the dark look the justicar had.

"Walters," I tried to warn him.

Walters didn't seem to care, "Hey, are you hunting those people down as well? I mean they broke Asari law, right? GASP! Unless it's only Council law, sneaky-sneaky, do what I say, not what I do~. How very politician of them," he cheered spinning around only to be stopped by a dangerous Justicar. "Yes, Sammy~?"

"How do you know my daughter?"

"Which one? Falere, Rila, or Morinth?" The smirk on his face was downright cocky. The Justicar actually flinched back as if slapped, "You Asari~, bold as brass, 'we were the first to discover the Citadel, to use FTL, we are the Protheans' chosen ones~'," Nick started laughing like a mad man, "one more time~, my name is Nick Walters~, Sorcerer supreme, handsome, kind. What do you need Sam?" He smiled like he was an old friend you ran into at a bar, and he got the first shots.

"How do you know Morinth?" Samara asked, she was tense, ready to fight.

"Never met her~," he answered leaning back on his chair.

"Don't lie, I'll ask one more time, how do you know Morinth?" The Justicar began to glow with Biotic power, I moved my hand to my pistol.

Nick gave out a long sigh, "What's with everyone threatening me? I guess I can be a bit annoying. And like I told you before Sam, I never met her, but you have~. Do you know what Magic is Sam? Real magic, not what some charlatan does on a street corner, real magic? Power beyond understanding, something as free and strange as a child's imagination~, you can do just about anything with magic, like say," he snapped his fingers, morphing the world around us, "see into someone's memories~."

In front of us was a young Samara drinking and gambling, blurred out Asari dancers were grinding on her lap as she drank something, she was cheering and laughing. The world changed.

We were on a ship, Samara was shooting behind cover killing an Asari with similar armor, probably a merc gang in the middle of a disagreement, as the bullets came to an end, she double-tapped every Asari on the ground before releasing a bunch of scared girls from cages. As she got to the cockpit a bloody collector ship came out of FTL not too far away, but she was close enough to a mass relay to make a lucky escape.

The world changed.

This time she was wearing some kind of dress, humming to herself as she worked over a kitchen, making some kind of breakfast before another Asari came up behind her, they looked like a happy couple.

The world changed again.

We were in a hospital room, Samara looked crushed, like she was given the worst news in the galaxy, next to her was the woman from before but the look she was giving her was anything but loving, it was like she saw Samara like a monster.

The world changed again.

"MOM! MOM! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE! PLEASE HELP ME!" a young Asari child cried as she was being dragged away into some kind of temple, a younger Samara trying not to look.

The world changed again.

We were standing in front of a group of robed Asari in some kind of cave, with a single kneeling robed Asari in the middle of the room.

"From now onwards, you are a Justicar, hunter of evil, justice in an unjust galaxy, a hero to the weak. Rise, Justicar Samara, rise and cleanse the Galaxy of evil," one of the Asari called out holding some kind of headdress, Samara rose and removed her robe showing her blurred nude body to the world, as she received the headdress.

The world changed again.

This time we were in the middle of a massacre, dozens of Asari were lying dead with the justicar in the center, in the distance a ship taking off into the Sky. She was about to give chase only for a baby's cry to catch her attention followed by more children appearing from houses, she gave the ship one last look before focusing back on the children.

The world morphed again, finally returning us to Illium.

That was... trippy. Is that what Walters sees when he meets someone?

"As you can see, I've never met her, but you have. Your daughter is some piece of work by the way," he sighed leaning back on his chair, uncaring about how he just put a woman's life on display for everyone to see.

"W-What are you?" Samara muttered.

"Nope, there isn't a third time, I'm not a broken record, you know who I am." his words rang through the room, shaking my bones.

"Nick Walters," she answered.

"Good to see I haven't completely blown your mind, so how about you sit there and wait for Shepard, I don't think I've ever seen him fail." he swiveled my direction, "So~, how was the talk with Benny~."

Nick is a very strange man, "it was good," I answered. A man I would rather have as a friend then an enemy.

-/-

Shepard POV

This was a long walk for a glass of water, seriously all we wanted was the shipping manifest! But the Eclipse acted like I threatened all their mothers and held their children hostage, all I wanted was a goddamn name! But nope, had to shoot my way through dozens of mercs, and another gunship, turns up out taking your entire ground crew into battle made everything easier, and am now face to face with a wannabe biotic god.

"FEAR ME LESSER CREATURES FOR I AM A MORTAL MADE GOD!" the Volus cried, unleashing a small biotic field around his person. It was sad and funny, but mostly sad, poor guy has been laced with enough drugs to take down a rhino, the fact that he hasn't overdosed is a miracle.

"Hold still, you little butter ball~," Ayla huffed, "Sky, can you please?" Sky grabbed the Biotic God and held him in front of Ayla,

"YOU DARE TOUCH A GOD!? I, WHO MOLDS THE UNIVERSE!?"

"Purification," Ayla chanted, the Volus lit up for a moment before breathing slowly.

"Uh... What's... going on? Who... are you people? Can... you please... let me down?" the Volus wheezed. Ayla nodded and Sky dropped the Volus. "... Thanks." he muttered from the floor.

"I would suggest hiding until we return," Ayla warned.

"Oh... Yes... thank you... be careful... the leader of this Eclipse group... Captain Wasea, should be... in the other room... she is super dangerous... and angry... lots of guards" he waddled into a broom closet before locking it behind him. "Knock three times... on your way back... if you come back." we heard from behind the door.

"At least he's out of the way," Miranda huffed. Mmm, didn't think she would care about a Volus. "Didn't want to trip over his corpse." Never mind.

"Alright she has the answers we are looking for, don't kill her," I ordered.

"Don't worry Shepard, I can get her to talk, but uh, keep your distance~," Ayla answered.

"Is it some sort of spell?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah~, It's called Zone of Truth, you can guess what it does, but you can't aim it, it covers an area of about 50 feet and anyone within it can't lie unless you have extreme mental fortitude, and even then, I will be able to tell that the spell didn't affect you," Ayla explained.

"You do understand that every politician in the galaxy will put a bounty the size of a planet on your head if they know about this right?" Garrus joked, "Nick will be really jealous then~."

"I mean~, wouldn't you be angry if you exposed the Asari for being hypocrites, and only been given such a small bounty, I'm sure you guys have done less for more," Jak huffed, taking position behind some cover, powering up one of her spells before we opened the door.

"Uh, I fought an army of Geth and krogan, I'm worth every cred," Garrus huffed, taking his spot at the rear.

"Really? According to Tali's show, you could barely talk half a sentence before some woman slapped you," Sky asked, stretching her wing to cover me as I opened the door, being met with gunfire and rockets, Sky didn't even flinch, the moment the bullets stopped she dashed forward grabbing an Asari by the leg and used her for as a club smacking another Asari with a shotgun across the room.

"HASTE! HEROIC OFFENSE! HEROIC DEFENSE! HOLY REBOUND!" Ayla called out slowing the world to a crawl and allowing us to dash inside and get behind good cover, well most of us, Grunt didn't hesitate and followed Sky in unleashing a fireball right into a group of Asari commandos.

Magic is cheating, seriously, Ayla's buffs were terrifying, the world around me seemed to slow to a crawl, my weapons had an extra kick, an extra shield that returned all attacks to sender, and gave me the ability to heal like a Krogan. I kind of get why TIM would want humanity to have this power, too bad he's crazy and would most likely kill millions for a single chance to gain an ounce of power.

The fighting only lasted about five minutes, turns out 18 people all buffed by holy magic tend to swipe passed anyone with very little trouble.

"Found her!" Jak called out dragging over the Asari Sky beat with another Asari, "She's still alive... for now anyways, I don't really understand Asari Physiology."

"Heal~," Ayla chanted, getting the Asari to gasp awake coughing out her lungs.

"W-who?" Wasea stuttered.

"ZONE OF TRUTH!" Ayla shouted. We were way too close.

"A little warning~," Kasumi muttered.

"Sorry, Nick taught me not to let the enemy get the first word or they would start monologuing," she answered.

"Right~, The Justicar is looking for the fugitive you smuggled off world, what ship did you use to get her out of Illium?"

"A-a-a-a the AML Demeter!" she choked out, she was clearly trying to lie but basically couldn't, it was a scary thing to see.

"Do you have any evidence?" I asked.

"T-t-tablet, on the desk!" she answered. Ava lifted the tablet, showing the proof.

"Why didn't you just give us the Tablet? All this could have been avoided," I asked.

"We helped an A-a-ardat-yakshi, whe-when the Justicar arrived w-we know we were in trouble, they show no mercy," she stuttered.

"What's an Ardat-Yakshi?" I asked.

"Abominations!" she growled. Ayla gave the Asari her full attention, "A failure of Asari! When they meld, they kill their partner and increase their power. They are mostly myths, but there are ancient rules, to help one is death."

"Mmm, that's not good," I sighed, "let's just get this data to Samara."

"BIND!" Ayla shouted as pure light wrapped around Wasea, "Sky?" Not hesitating she lifted the Asari over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "You're under arrest."

"... you killed all my sisters, why didn't you arrest them?" Wasea hissed.

"Because you are an idiot. All we wanted was the name of the Demeter, you decided to attack us. You ordered your 'sisters' into the meat grinder. Don't get angry at us because you thought we were easy prey," Ayla huffed.

"Wait!" Miranda called out.

We lifted our guns and got into cover thinking we were about to get ambushed. Only for nothing to happen. "What? What did you see!?" I asked, my head on a swivel.

"Why did Walters agree to help us?" She asked the group.

"You can't be serious," I growled, "THIS! THIS IS WHY I CAN'T TRUST YOU. You trust no one."

Jak patted my shoulder, "Ayla wanted to help, that's all, she thought this was a good way to escape our humdrum routine and help people in need." she answered with a shrug, "Win-win."

"That's it? You wanted to help?" Miranda huffed.

"Yep~, Sometimes that's all people need to do something, the want to help. You seemed disappointed. Did you want Nick to be an evil dimension-hopping villain that took over galaxies for fun?" Jak asked.

"No. Not in so many words. Why does he hate me?" Miranda asked.

"Hate you? Nick doesn't hate you. Trust me you would know if Nick hated you," Sky answered.

"Then why is he so antagonistic? Surely, we would work better if we got along!?" ah, even she had a breaking point.

Sky blinked at her, "Get along with what? Miranda, you are not even a real person," Miranda flinched back as if struck.

"That's going too far!" Jacob interrupted.

"Really, now it's too far? Not when she took advantage of a magical truth serum?" Ava sighed, "In the end Sky is right, who are you, Miranda? What are your goals, not Cerberus's, not the Illusive man's, Your's? Have you even given it any thought about what's going on? You must have realized by now that you have been replaced?"

"What are you talking about?" Miranda looked lost.

Ava rolled her eyes, "The Illusive man has sent you on a suicide mission, he knew you would most likely die, he used you as a disposable mook, and you just nodded along, like that was okay. Nick doesn't hate you, there isn't anything to hate. You are someone's tool and only crazy people hate tools. He's annoyed that the Illusive Man is using a tool to tell him what to do."

"I'm not a tool," She hissed.

Nat huffed, "Donney is trying to be a mixologist, when not at work in the Engine Bay or working with the other engineers on the Puma X-7, he's at the bar learning to create and serve drinks. Gabby loves spaceship engines, she is trying to name the new Hyperdrive engine after herself, but of course, she is being contested by Lia, who wants it to be named after a new element. Rolson worries for his family due to them being in the Terminus, but his bitch mother-in-law is getting in the way of moving them to safety. Goldstein and Hawthorne have been taking lessons from Gardner on cooking to help him in the kitchen, talking about opening a restaurant. Hadley has been coming down to train in hand-to-hand combat with Nick because he feels helpless in a team filled with elite fighters. Matthews is excited about his meeting with the Consort in about two months. Burt-"

"What does this have to do with anything!?" Miranda interrupted her.

Nat sighed, "They have goals, dreams, hopes, Cerberus isn't their life, it's a means to an end, an end to the Reapers, and a beginning to their new lives. You... don't, this is it, this is as far as you can see, The Illusive man points, you do. What do you do all day?"

She twisted at the question, "I-I-I make sure my reports to the Illusive man are perfect." It looked like someone tore the words out of her mouth.

"If you want Nick to listen to you, and I mean really listen, you need to ask yourself the real questions. WHO ARE YOU!? AND WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" Nat ordered she may have only been five feet, but her questions carried enough weight to crush a man. Not even the Ice Queen that was Miranda could just scoff away their answer, she was shaking, it took me a moment to realize why, the Zone of Truth was trying to make her tell her truth, but she didn't even know her truth. Nat didn't care for her answer, she just left, followed by the rest of her crew, and finally followed by everyone else leaving her and myself behind.

"Did you find the answers you wanted?" I asked.

"... No," she muttered. "Do you hate me Shepard, for taking you from your final resting place?"

"... No," I answered, "As much as I hate to say it, you were right, people need me, I'm not sure for how long, or every step of the way, but I'm working on it."

"... Shepard, I need your help." I know for a fact that Miranda was a honeypot, I would have to be deaf and blind not to see it, but the look she was giving me couldn't be faked.

"... let's talk back in the ship. come on let's get back to the group." It never gets easier, does it?

-/-

It took us about 30 minutes to get back to the police station, turns out not being shot at tends to make things go faster. We turned out to arrive right in the middle of Storytime.

"And there she was," Nick hissed, the inside of the station looked to be an underground cavern with lava walls lighting up the dark and ancient broken statues. Not too far away was a bridge that led across a gorge to an impressive underground fortress, before a humongous dragon came down on the bridge. I think it was bigger than Sky and Astral, it gave a roar of purple flames and lightning, vibrating the cave around us, "The Archdemon," he staged whispered. It turned to look at us, it was... wrong. It spread its putrid wings and took off. "We now know the face of our enemy's leader, and she was ugly. But that's enough story time~, Shepard's back."

"WHAT!?" the krogan in Bain's crew yelled, "What about the fortress!?"

"And the Anvil?" the turian woman asked.

"What about choosing the new king!?" Bain asked. "You can't just stop there!?"

Nick laughed, "I thought of making an animated series of my adventure, but the Blight was still too fresh for Ferelden, I might make one here though." he shrugged, before turning to me, "So you got what you needed for Lady Strawberry over here?" Nick pointed to the Justicar.

"Yes," I turned to Samara, "the ship you're looking for was the AML Demeter left two days ago," Ava passed her the tablet, "It also has Pitne For's smuggling list if that means anything, here," I told detective Anaya.

"It does," Anaya answered looking over the list, "and it comes with a reward," she sent me 4,200 credits, I didn't need it, but Tali still had my money, so I could use this to buy some more fish, that automated fish feeder cost over 25 thousand credits!? ridiculous I say! I'll just have Garrus make me one, he said he had a great idea for fish protection... or was it fish propulsion? It had something to do with fish, I need to stop eating, painting, and talking at the same time.

"And we have Wasea and the Asari that killed Duki Kir," I pointed to Sky who was holding both Asari, before dropping them to the floor, "I have her confessing on tape." I transferred the audio file.

"Damn, they weren't kidding about you spectres, this would have taken me months of report filing before I would have been given permission to snoop through the files. Thanks."

"Shepard, you have impressed me, you have filled your end of the bargain, and I will fulfill mine." she turned and gave Anaya a small bow, "I will be leaving post haste Detective Anaya, I believe that will satisfy your superiors."

Anaya bowed back, "You are free to go, Justicar. It was an honor to have you at my station... and that you didn't kill me."

"Anaya please don't thank people for not killing you~," Nick groaned. "It makes you look weak~."

"She is a Justicar, I 'am' weak in this situation," She drawled.

"Yeah~, but she doesn't need to know that, you are the police~, you are the one keeping people safe, you have an image to uphold, if the people see you bowing to some woman in a ridiculous strawberry outfit, they aren't going to take you seriously later," Nick huffed.

"This is top-of-the-line Asari armor," Samara interrupted.

"You look like a fruit, and not a homosexual, like a literal walking fruit, with a boob window. Who made this armor!? I am getting angry again! Gods damnit, that's something to take on a date when you want to score, not to a battlefield!" Nick roared.

"Okay-okay~, that's enough for one day~, let's go eat ice cream and laugh at some TV," Jak pushed him out the door, "Sorry about him~, he tends to take his armor seriously~."

"IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE SHOULDER CANNONS OR A JETPACK!" he screamed as he was escorted out. I am looking forward to my new armor.

"Your friend is... very strange," Samara pointed out.

"Most people who join suicide missions tend to have a few screws loose," I shrugged. "Are you ready to go?"

"I must first be sworn to your service so that I am never forced to choose between your orders or the Code." She took a deep breath and kneeled before me. It was super awkward, no one's ever kneeled to me, Anaya was super impressed though, so that was something. "By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices, your morals are my morals, your wishes are my Code." She then gave off a tiny Biotic pulse before standing back up.

I looked over to Ayla, "What does that mean? Did she somehow deputize herself? I don't think that's how that works, I had to sign a contract."

"No, I think she just did a little light show and made an Oath, there was no Godly pact, it's more of a promise really~," she flipped through her book, looking for answers.

"That was the 3rd oath of Subsumation, it is not to be taken lightly," Samara pointed out.

"Oh! Yes! I didn't mean to make it sound like it wasn't, it's just that we were thinking of it in the cosmic sense, like if we needed to talk with our godly patron before we cause a godly incident," Ayla explained, not looking up from her book. "Mmm, okay, so~, we should be fine~. Welcome to the Normandy~." she gave Samara a little bow, before running after the rest of the crew.

"... I'm beginning to think your crew is very... different."

"You don't know the half of it," I sighed.

-/-

A/N: another chapter down, best cut it off here, I have another 3,000 words that I moved to the next chapter.

I sometimes find it hard to find interesting ways on spicing up missions. Some are just straight to the point like Samara's, 'Find the ship's name', what do I do with that? Where can I get inspiration?

I have a few ideas on Thane's recruitment mission, I mean seriously, trying to find an assassin as they hunt their target, I don't even have to use a building! There are dozens of movies I've watched that I can take inspiration from!

Sorry, didn't mean to rant just got a bit of writer's block trying to make it more interesting, so instead I made it less about the mission and more about the people on the mission.

I read a review that corrected me on the time it took for the Thanix cannon to fire, and of course, they were correct, the Thanix cannon fires every 10 to 15 seconds not 10 minutes, but then I idea flashed through the loose collection of marbles that roll inside this empty thing I call a head, and thought... what if... that's why Garrus is doing calibrations every hour of the day!? To lower the time to fire! And then I got more ideas! What if the ship's upgrades have the crew interacting, bringing them together at the same time! YESSSS! Why go back and correct a mistake when I can use it to make my subpar writing that little bit better!?

Silver lining people!

Anyways~, got a new Quarian, expanded Zaeed's backstory a bit, Gave Nick a bounty, had some fun with what would happen when trading food with other species, and am now on Illium, I have a few ideas, let's see if any of them make it on paper.

Review if ya want~

I also have a DeviantArt page link in my bio where I post some drawings I make of the story

thanks for coming by~

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

A prayer for the wicked

-/-

Zura'Nul POV

The woman in front of me was terrifying, it was only thanks to Tali'Zorah's presence next to me that eased my worry. This would be the 3rd day on the new ship, The Normandy, we only got stories about this ship, about its advanced engine and stealth systems, but the inside was beyond anything I could have imagined. I've come to believe Nick when he called himself a space wizard, Space-Time manipulation, curing potions, Super-strength, Matter shifting, non-biotic telekinesis, all this was crazy, I thought curing my immune system was already a miracle, to learn that it was just a Monday to him was insane.

"Are you listening Ms. Nul?" the woman across from me asked, her voice was sharp, it felt like she had a blade to my throat. She didn't look any older than me, with blood-red glowing eyes, pale as myself, and hair as black as the night. She was wearing what Nick called, Hawaiian shirt, tan shorts, sandals, and a straw hat that somehow looked like they cost more than some of the ships in the Migrant Fleet, it didn't help that the two dragon women were dressing her up in gold. She looked like a vacationing business queen making me feel like a lowly retail peasant.

"Telsa~," Nick called out, as he hopped over to our table. "Oh gods~, you look so adorable!" He put down the food he had and took dozens of photos.

"Nick I'm working," she hissed.

"Working? This is your mandatory vacation. You can't work." he sounded shocked and confused, like the idea of someone working during their vacation to be something only crazies did.

"I just took my vacation," Ms. Telsa huffed.

"Yeah, 12 months ago, guess what my little workaholic~, it's vacation time again," he teased. "5 weeks of fun in the sun~."

"We give our full-time employees 3 weeks of fully paid vacation time and holidays off, I have no idea where you are getting 5 weeks from," she growled.

Nick looked even more confused, "That can't be right, what about summer? Aren't most of our employees part-time farmers? Don't they need to work out in the field or whatever."

"Most employees are more than happy to work in an air-conditioned room earning money hourly and have their golems work their family's farm."

"... that's a good thing, right?" Nick asked.

"Our turnover rate is extremely low, turns out money, healthcare, and free education tend to make people happy," Telsa drawled. "Now Ms. Nul, Ms. Zorah, and Ms. Vael have you read your contracts?"

"Oh, uh~." I looked at my contract. It was very detailed with bullet points showing me my duties, pay, healthcare, work hours, overtime, benefits, Vacation days, sick days, holidays, paid maternity leave, and many other smaller rules. I guess this is what it's like to work for a large company.

"I'm not working for Nick, why am I here?" Tali'Zorah asked.

"True, you're signing away your right to a Rule's lawyer," Ms. Telsa pointed out.

"I didn't think you would need a contract for that?" Tali'Zorah muttered.

"Most times you wouldn't, but according to you these 'ancient tablets' you've seen very keen on possessing are worth a substantial amount of money, and not wanting for future discord it was in my boss's best interest to have it in writing." she turned to the human AI, "Mrs. Moreau, I will be needing an office space in your ship for the next 3 weeks-"

"- 5 weeks!" Nick interrupted.

"3 weeks," she growled, "I'm willing to pay 25,000 for the space and time." She passed EDI a contract.

"HOLD ON!?" The Cerberus XO ordered. "You can't just walk in here and take lodging."

"Lawson," the look Ms. Telsa gave the XO froze my blood and she wasn't even looking at me! "Who the fade do you think you are?" She hissed, standing to her full height. She couldn't be much taller than me at about 5'4, but she felt like a giant. "EDI Moreau is the owner of this ship, she is the ship, she, out of her kindness of her soul, allows you to live here, she is putting her very life on the line for your cause. Don't treat her like a thing, don't pretend you have any right to what happens in her body."

"Walters does whatever he likes," The XO counters.

"UH!? Think again," Nick huffed, "I gave EDI a detailed plan on what I wanted to add to the Normandy. From expanded rooms, magic runes, furniture~," he pointed to a couch Ms. Goto was lying on with her feet up, "That couch belonged to the Queen of England."

Ms. Goto blinked at us, "What?"

"And let's not forget all the engine work and armor upgrades," Nick ignored Ms. Goto's question, who was now looking at the couch in reverence, before shrugging and laying back down. "Everything I'm doing has EDI's and Shepard's stamps of approval, and not only them, but I also need Tali's approval and supervision when I work on the engines, I need Garrus's approval and supervision to work on the main gun, and Jacob has to test any and every armor or weapon I want to give to the crew, I need Mordin's approval to use the Tech lab, and you better believe that if I'm working in the cockpit Joker is breathing down my neck so hard that EDI once accused me of trying to steal her man," He joked... I think.

"You expect me to believe that?" The XO huffed.

"I don't need you to believe anything, I have it in writing," he summoned thick booklets filled with stamps and in-and-out cards with Tali'Zorah's signature, along with others. "While I might like messing around and shooting the breeze, when it comes to the Normandy as a whole, I, DON'T, KNOW, WHAT, I, AM, DOING~. I don't know Eezo engines, I don't know about the Thanix cannon, I don't know your weapons, so you know what I do? I ask for help, Jacob taught me how to take apart a gun and what every piece is for, Tali taught me how Eezo affects matter and how you use it to go faster than light, Garrus taught me how the Main guns work, Mordin taught me alien biology. Lawson, I'm one cocky son of a bitch, I tend to be cheesy, annoying, and in your face, but I am an adult, if I don't know something, I'm going to swallow my pride and ask for help. And I always pay it back, I gave Tali a copy of the Hyperdrive engine design, I helped Garrus by enhancing the Thanix cannon, Chakwas and Mordin wanted a Cure-all potion to play with, I even oil Sky's abs so Kasy can happily gawk!" oh my~, Ms. Goto started coughing in shock.

"What!? I DON'T! Her abs!? NO! What!?" Ms. Goto stuttered, "... Thank you~," she whispered before she vanished.

"And why haven't you asked me anything?" The XO demanded.

"... Why would I do that?" he innocently asked, "You are the executive officer. You control the financial backing of Cerberus, and second in command, and since I don't need anything from Cerberus and I asked Shepard, the commanding officer, for approval, I don't need your input. If you were my friend, I would have asked for your advice and counseling, but you are not, at best you're a stranger, at worst an antagonist."

"... I enjoy romance novels." The room flat-lined, and everyone just looked at her.

Nick slammed a book on the table. The Paladin and the stable boy? "I'll take your olive branch, but just so you know, you have a long way ahead of you."

The XO took the book, "Don't destroy the ship," she huffed and walked away.

Ms. Telsa gave another huff, "Ms. Moreau, I hope the contract is in order." The AI, gave the contract a quick glance before nodding and signing, "Nick, pay the woman, I want my office Next to your room, and I want my own bedroom, my own 'sound-proof' bedroom, in your Quarters." she corrected. "I'll of course make myself useful and make sure your wealth is properly handled." She shivered, "I can only imagine what you have been doing with your money."

"I haven't even spent that much~," he huffed.

"Oh? So, you have just had it sitting there not making you more money? You haven't been buying stock and taking over other businesses in order for you to ramp up their production knowing that there will be an apocalyptic war at your doorstep? Have you been selling powerful magical weapons to your allies so that when the war starts, they have a chance to fight back?"

Nick seemed to wilt at every question asked, finally lying face down on the ground. "But, terrorists~."

"That doesn't matter, the end times are coming for these people, and you don't have the luxury of time." She sighed and patted his face, for the first time since she got here her face softened, "I know you don't want magic to fall into the wrong hands, but you can't baby people, and you shouldn't feel responsible for the actions of idiots."

Nick gave out a sigh, "I'll think about it. Here~," he gave her a Credit chit. "It has half my money; we can hit the Stock market tomorrow."

"Good." she turned to us, her face full business, "Are the contracts in order?" I gave my contract one last look, am I really about to sell my body? The tablet flashed through my memories. I picked up my pin and signed on the bottom line, joined by Lia'Vael and Tali'Zorah. Ms. Telsa gave them a quick glance and nodded, before waving her hand and getting a ding on my Omnitool. I watched my wallet skyrocket from zero to 200,000 creds, which was more than I had ever had, the fleet gave us 5,000 credits, a gun, and a lift to a planet of our choosing. This amount of money would easily prove that I could provide for the Fleet, but the money wasn't what I wanted.

"These belong to you~," Nick sang summoning the remaining Tablets. They were beautiful, some took their time picking out the stone and carving out the writing. I knew I shouldn't have but I needed to touch them with my real hands. Quickly releasing my hands from my suit, I dragged my fingers on one, It was smooth, and the limestone was mixed with something, it was almost like cement, maybe it's something that happens in Rannoch naturally? "And 2 of these~," he placed two glowing unmodified mini-arc reactors on the table. "And because I care," he placed a similar bag Tali'Zorah and Lia'Vael had. "This is your own Bag of Holding; it can hold up to 3 tons and suck things up to 100 feet."

"It's thought-operated!" Ms. Goto warned... from somewhere.

"Right~, it also thought operated," Nick added, "if what the thing you are trying to put in the bag is less than 3 tons and is 100 feet or less it will be sucked into the bag, and all you have to do after that is think of the thing you want and the bag will get it for you, be warned it can't store 'living' creatures. So be aware of that~."

I tested it out by shoving the Mini-arc reactors into the bag before pulling it back out multiple times, so cool. "Um, how do you know when it is full?" I asked.

"The bag will refuse to store any more stuff and the red gem will light up," he answered.

"Will things be safe inside of them?" I asked looking into the black Infinity that was the bag's inner lining.

"As long as the bag is safe so is everything inside of it, and I made the bag as sturdy as I possibly could, If a Tank Round does manage to hit it, everything inside will spill out," Nick explained. "I'm happy you're interested in Magic cuz we are starting your training tomorrow," he cheered.

"... Training? Do you mean that super Quarian thing? So, is it's some kind of training? I thought I was going to work more as a model, nurse, or Engineer?"

"You will, but you aren't an adult yet, Just because you have your pilgrimage gift doesn't mean you've suddenly become an adult, you still need to get this stuff to the fleet, I would recommend finding someone who is heading back to the fleet to deliver the goods and pick a ship when you get back, you are on a bit of a suicide mission," he left his warning hanging.

"I already called someone to meet us here," Tali interrupted, "They should be here by the end of the week."

Nick started giggling, "Man~, you were so certain you were going to get those tablets~."

"... I was going to get those tablets one way or another," Tali'Zorah muttered. She's amazing~.

"I respect your selflessness, even if I think it will be the death of you," he sighed.

"How can being selfless be bad? She saved me from Slavery," I pointed out.

"And that's all good and whatnot, but when does it stop?" he asked, "When do you, or Tali or Lia, get to be... you. Not a Quarian, not a fleet marine, not a hero... you. I was wrong trying to make it an ultimatum, you don't cure addiction in one move... well I can, but others can't, so how about this, slow and steady," he sighed, "How about some clothes, nothing too extreme, and you guys do need more clothes, I have no doubt you and Zura have much to wear, Lia why don't you go with them, I took you clothes shopping so you would have a good place to start, and if you don't want to buy clothes then just buy the cloth, Julee will find something to use it on." He gave us a wave and walked off with Ms. Telsa to make her new office, My omni tool beeped, and I watched as another 50,000 credits added themselves to my wallet.

My mouth went dry, "5-50,000?" I wheezed, "For clothes!?" I looked over to Lia who shrugged like that didn't matter. This isn't normal. Impossible magic bags, frigates that are bigger on the inside, extremely thirsty AI, dimensional wizards. I have to remember that this isn't normal.

-/-

"That's it! One, two, one, two, keep those legs up!" Nick the sadist called out as he jogged next to me. My lungs were on fire and all I wanted to do was flop on the ground and die. Quarians weren't made for this, we were ambush hunters! Stupid humans and their endurance hunting! What kind of creature evolves like that!? Running is horrible! "Alright! A quick 5-minute break!"

I flopped to the floor, "Thank the ancestors!"

Someone sat next to me, peeking, I found Princess Aeducan smiling down at me passed me a water skin. "I'm guessing this is your first time long-distance human running?" she gently fed me water. I drank it greedily, but she cut me off, "Easy~, If you drink too much, you'll throw it back up."

"Thank you, your highness."

She blew me a raspberry, "I'm not a princess here silly~, I'm barely a princess back home. Just call me Sereda."

"Uhm, thank you Sereda."

Her smile grew at my words. "So, how are you feeling? Nick tends to run his training rather harshly the first time, he wants to know what your best score is." She pointed over to Nick who was writing down something on a clipboard talking with Dr. Solus, his dog at his side.

"Uhm, okay I think, my lungs are on fire and my muscles are about to mutiny, but okay," I joked, Sereda gave a giggle.

"Yeah~, it took me a bit to handle human exercise, we dwarves are more muscle than humans. Pound for pound we can take any human, but they have endurance. I learned rather quick that if you can't take down a human within the first 5 minutes they will outpace you, I'm not saying they can't pack a wallop, but normal humans don't match up to a normal Dwarf when it comes to strength. Elves like Lyna, Ava, and Telsa are far more agile and have a higher chance to be a sorcerer than any dwarf and most humans, but don't have the strength we do."

"What about Ms. Qina? Isn't she an Elf?"

"Ms. Qina? You're a bit formal ain't ya~," she teased, "Ayla's a Half-elf, or Half-Human if you want, her father was an elf, giving her better agility and a larger mana core, and her mother was human, Giving her human endurance and muscle mass, best of both worlds."

"Wait, I thought Humans and elves were two different races?"

"They are, but magic tends to bridge the gap between races, Nick will go into detail when that lesson comes up in your training."

"Childbirth is going to be in my training?" I've been taught about babies and where they come from, thank you very much~.

"You'll be taught everything, from Sex Ed to assassination to shoemaking to singing, Nick tends to take his teaching very seriously, and since you're under his care that makes you his apprentice... well, maybe more Dagna's apprentice, you're his grand apprentice," she hummed. I looked over to Ms. Dagna who was leading the krogan and Lia'Vael in stretches. "That means he's going to help teach you the Basics before you enter a more specific school of magic."

"School of magic?" I didn't know about any of that.

"Yep~, magic is as broad as it is crazy, there is Alteration, Conjuration, Destruction, Illusion, Restoration, Abjuration, Divination, Enchantment, Evocation, Necromancy, Transmutation, Arcane, Arcane Warrior, Shapeshifter, Spirit, and Entropy. There are probably more but I didn't really get into any of them, you don't have to worry about it too much since you're just getting started," Sereda explained.

"Oh, okay, can you tell me why we are all wearing... this~?" I gestured to the Gym clothes that were way too... form fitting. They hugged me like my suit, but my suit was made for me, I just got this.

Sereda looked down at her own outfit, she didn't even wear a shirt, just blue short-shorts, and a sports bra. She filled it very well. "You mean other than the fact that Nick's a bit of a perv?" I nodded. "First, uniformity, we are all wearing the same thing, minus the sports bras, Nick thought that if we looked the same, we would feel like a team, making working out a team effort. Second, the clothes have Magic runes that help heal muscle tears faster and are self-cleaning. Third, it gives you a positive body image, it's not perfect, and working out isn't easy, looking at Joker," she pointed over to the pilot who was being helped by the AI to stretch out his legs. He didn't look like the other human men in the room, most of them were made for combat, their skin was tight with muscles, and had a sense of confidence in themselves, Mr. Moreau didn't match up. Human gene therapy helped, he wasn't too big or too skinny, but he wasn't made for combat, but that didn't stop him from lifting weights. "Nick wanted this place to be an area without judgment and if everyone had to look foolish to feel comfortable, he would. Give it a week, you won't care what you're wearing, only that it helps you get the job done."

"Alright, Ladies! Breaktime is over! Lia, you're with me! Zura, Sereda's going to run you through the gauntlet, get ready for your first day of boot camp," Nick called out.

Everything hurt~, even my pride. Lia'Vael was running laps around me carrying my body weight in barbells, jumping nearly 10 feet all over the place, unleashing small balls of light every 20 seconds, and making it look easy. I guess that's what a super Quarian is like.

"Please... kill me~," I begged.

"You're fine, breathe in through the nose, and out your mouth," Sereda ordered.

"My lungs... has taken... your words into... Consideration... and as kindly asked... for you to suck on eggs..." I wheezed. Sereda just laughed at my plight. The bosh'tet.

"Alright, ladies! Morning training has come to an end!" Nick called out, Thank the ancestors~. "Let's do some cool-down stretches before I give up some gifts!" The XO took that moment to walk into the Shuttle Bay.

Sereda led me through the cool-down stretches, looking around I found myself to be the only one bone dead tired. "Don't worry about keeping up," she sighed, "Today is probably the hardest day you are going to go through, Nick ran his test so now it's all about slow build-up. Nick doesn't like heavy workouts, slow and steady wins the race."

"Lia'Vael didn't seem to be going slow and steady?" I pointed out, as she helped me with my stretches.

"That's because she was also being tested, She got her powers not too long ago, everything she is doing is brand new and Nick is testing everything under the sun, not wanting her new power to hurt her somehow. So far, she's been fine, better than ever, Magic, Chi, strength, speed, faster thought process, we just don't know if that's just because of who Lia is or because she's Quarian."

"I'm guessing I'll be helping with that?" I didn't know I could bend this way.

She shrugged, "I guess, personally I think Nick does too many tests, some things can only be known just by doing, you know? Most things that happen in tests don't really match reality, like, when will you need to balance a ball on your head while lifting weights and solving a math problem. It's over the top. Still, I knew what I was getting into~," she sighed. "Alright, that should have you nice and loose. How's your breathing?"

I took a deep breath, my lungs no longer protested, and my muscles were relaxed, "Good~."

"Good to hear, come on, Nick is handing out gifts, if you're lucky you might get something." She led me over to Nick who was talking with the XO.

"... don't know the rune for Biotic power so you're going to have to wait until Mordin, Julee, Lyna, Dagna, and I do some tests on Eezo and its effects on the mortal body." he shrugged.

"How long do you think that would take?" The XO asked.

"Mmm, it's hard to tell, creating new runes is extremely dangerous and tends to take a long time, we might be able to ask a powerful elder being, like a god, or maybe a celestial like a devil, but that comes with a cost, and you better believe that's going to come with a hefty fine."

"What are we talking about? Tiefling children?"

"HA!" Nick laughed, "I already have Tiefling children in my future, so I don't have to worry about something so benign, No, I'm worried about generational cost. Some beings are more into the idea of a long-term debt that follows the family. Like a timeshare scheme, and I'm not putting any of my children with that."

The XO hummed, "But will we get the rune?"

"More than likely, why? You wanna gamble? I can make some calls," Nick offered.

The XO scrunched up her nose, "No, not yet anyway, I think I'll let you and the others try and figure it out first."

"Probably for the best." he gave a clap, "Alright you babies time for gifts!" By now everyone was already moving toward Nick. "Alright let's see here. John," he tossed the captain what seemed to be a chest piece, which melted onto his body the moment he caught it.

"WHOA!?" the captain shouted as the armor molded around him. It took a moment but when it was fully formed, it had a shoulder cannon and glowing runes running up and down the armor.

"Yes-yes, it is very nice~," Nick nodded before passing Shepard a stack of papers, "This is all it can do and how it all works, read through it. All of it~, and just in case you feel lazy, the way to take it off is on one of these pages."

"What? Hold on!" Captain Shepard looked through his user's manual, "Oh cool I have super strength, sorry 'superior' Strength, I guess there's a difference." He walked over to some weights and lifted over 200 pounds with a single hand. "Damn!" he gently put it down and took a seat on one of the chairs Nick put for us to relax on, "I really should read this." He started going over the user's manual.

"Kasumi," Nick called out. It kept passing out armor to the ground crew before finally reaching me. "Zura, here you go." It tickled as it molded up my body. I didn't really feel any different, "Here you go," my user's manual was far smaller than the ground crew, "Your armor is a bit more basic, not really specialized, it's meant to give you a well-rounded power-up, but not much else." I reached out and lifted a barbell that gave me trouble before and lifted it with ease. Whoa~.

"Why is Shepard's armor powered by a mini arc reactor?" the XO asked. Unlike the Captain and some of the ground crew, her armor didn't have a mini-arc reactor on her chest.

"Cerberus," Nick huffed, "I did promise Telsa that I'll be more 'pragmatic' about the whole Magic thing, but come on, do you really think I'm going to give you anything that will get back to TIM. There is easing up and then there's being stupid. But make no mistake your armor still has the good shit, superior strength, speed, health regen, Jet pack and enhanced magical protection, all without a boob window! All's well that ends well."

"How come Kasumi's armor has the ability to morph into anything she wants?" she pointed out. Ms. Goto's armor was morphing, changing into different outfits with no trouble.

"Because that's the real deal, where your armor is basic, her armor is made just for her. I added things she might enhance her power output. Super strength, speed, sound dampeners, invisibility cloak, smell remover, expanded pockets, a helmet that allows her to breathe underwater and space, three overpowered shields, Mana and health enhancers and regen runes, comfort runes, built-in bathroom, self-cleaning, stick'em powers, Badassium nano weave mesh, and has a Jet pack. Of course, there are other things but that just comes with every armor I make," he tapped her user's manual, "Read up, cuz I'm not taking it off,"

"Keelah~," I muttered. Who would create something like that, not even my enviro-suit was that well made. I began reading my user's manual.

-/-

Nick POV

"I... have no idea what I'm looking at," I pointed out looking at the numbers flashing by on the screen, while I had a level of understanding, my Int and Wis level was high enough for that, but it was kind of like reading a poorly written sentence correctly without knowing you corrected it in your mind.

"Don't worry, that's why you hired me." Telsa patted my hand like I was a child. She took to this like a fish to water. Her Omni-tool was going crazy, buying and selling stock as quick as she could think the thought, and her bank account was falling and rising like crazy, I don't think that's normal, but she seemed to know what she was doing.

"Is this what we are going to do all day~," Dagna sighed through her smoothie straw.

"You wanted to come along~," I teased. We have been on Illium for about a week now. According to Liara, Nassana's been hopping from safe house to safe house, each safe house being torched behind her. Thane was closing in, I'd give it 3 to 4 days before Nassana makes a mistake, maybe less before we finally meet. At the moment, we were at one of Illium's many Stock market cafes, yeah it sounded as stupid as you might think it was, who in their right mind gives a bunch of hyped-up stockbrokers coffee? Since I've been here, I've seen 4 people break out into tears, crying about some kind of loss or whatever.

"I'm not leaving you with that money succubus," Dagna hissed looking over to Telsa, who just flipped her off not looking away from the screens. "... And everyone was busy getting used to their new armor or adding the new armor to the ship."

"Gasp~, are you sure you're not just here to go on a date with your girlfriend~," I teased.

She gave me a blank look before patting me on the face, "You're lucky you're cute."

"Gasp! You think I'm cute~." I played coy, "You have such a way with words~," I fanned myself with my hand.

"Damn straight toots~, how about me and you get out of here and~," she bounced her eyebrows at me.

"Gasp! Ms. Dagna! What kind of man do you take me for?" I gasped dramatically covering my chest.

She started walking her finger up my left arm, "I think you're a man who needs to relax~."

"You're in public, have some shame you wild animal," hissed Telsa.

Dagna huffed, "It's called flirting~, Maybe if you knew how you won't be such a stick in the mud."

"I know how to use my feminine wilds to my advantage," Telsa huffed.

"'Feminine wilds'? Seriously~, I once considered you a threat, you're making me look bad. If you want this frenemy thing to continue, I need you to seduce Nick, right now," Dagna ordered.

"And I want that because?" Telsa huffed.

"Because I've known you for over a year now, I'm your only real friend."

I point to myself, "Umm, excuse me~. I'm her best friend~."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Please, I love you Nick but you're her sugar daddy-"

"What~… I'm more of a sugar boss~," I joked.

"Would you two be quiet, I'm taking over the galaxy over here," Telsa huffed. "And if anything, I'm his sugar mama. I make the money, if it wasn't for me, you idiots would be broke within the month."

"That makes it worse~, Nick is at your beck and call, and instead of having him clean your pipes, you're doing it yourself," Dagna huffed, am I being pimped out right now?

"It would be extremely unprofessional to sleep with my boss," Telsa deadpanned.

"So? I'm his student and I have him discipline me every other night~. You can't live by other people's rules all the time! Look at me! I'm a dwarf who left home to be a wizard! I fought the blight! Traveled the world! I helped build a city! What do I care for what society wants!? I love who I love! I love as many people as I want! If society has a problem with that then it can kiss my ass!" she crossed her arms and laid back.

"But... Dwarf society is polygamist," Telsa pointed out.

Dagna scoffed, "That's not the point! The point is that I live my life by my rules! Are you just going to live your life or are you going to take what you want!"

"I... well."

"And let's not forget we're going to fight giant robots that want to destroy the galaxy! Which they have never failed to do before! We can die, and there's no flying island to take us to safety, I doubt Ayla is going to run, so we are in this for the long run. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." When did my little Dagna become so wise?

"I expect to be wined and dined," I spoke up.

Telsa rolled her, "Please~, I already have you wrapped around my little finger, if I wanted to, I could have you pounding me on this very table at the snap of my fingers, If I'm breaking my rules I might as well go big."

"YESSSS~," Dagna hissed like a supervillain would to a hero who walked into her trap. "What are we looking at, Sky? Astral? What about Ava? She's scared of you, that can open a lot of naughty doors~." Huh~, look at that, she's as pervy as I am.

"No, they will come in time, I'm aiming for the top. I want Ayla."

"The holy maiden?" Dagna muttered, "I should warn you, while I love Ayla, she isn't the innocent type, well not anymore, she likes being a top and in control. If you're looking for innocent, you want Lyna or Astral."

Telsa huffed and adjusted her glasses, "I don't find innocence sexy; I enjoy a challenge, you guys might not see it because you love her and spend all your time with her, but Ayla's the crown jewel of Ferelden. Sure, we have you as heroes, but Ayla is proof that the Maker is still with us. I can't tell you how many countries want her to visit them, others want to abduct her," A bit of my anger slipped out at that, "But they know you Nick, the Tamer of Dragons, Earthshaker, Sky lord, Artificer. Do you have any idea who you are Nick?"

"I... knew I had a bit of a reputation." I didn't really think about it, I always had something more important to do, houses to build, farms to set up, laws to sign.

Telsa just shook her head. "Ferelden owes you more than you might think, Queen Anora might not say it, but Ferelden was in a real bad spot, even before the blight we were barely holding ourselves up, we had no army, the scars of war were still fresh, Farms were hit hard, the blight only made things worse. With the Train system, the money you fed into small businesses, and giving every farmer Anora sent your way good farmland and golem helpers, Ferelden bounced back faster than anyone thought possible. I know you tend to be a goof and kind to the people around you, but Thedas doesn't know that, you're everything the chantry feared, a mage that cares, someone with great overwhelming power who uses it to help others, and the fact that King Cailan made you a noble made people hold there lords and ladies to higher standards."

"Is that why Bann Eremon sent me passive-aggressive letters?" she has been a pain in my ass for half a year.

"More than likely, but after we connected to the train system to the Walking Sea, she calmed down." Telsa huffed, even though we all worked for Ferelden some noble could still be petty, sending junk mail to annoy us.

"Who cares about any of that?" Dagna interrupted our business talk, "We are here to get this frumpy virgin laid."

"Actually, we are here to control the Galaxy's economic system," I pointed out.

"We have been doing that for the last four days and nothing has come from it."

Telsa blinked at her, "We control 17 material processing mines, 8 refineries, 6 weapon companies that are now creating Thanix Cannons at an accelerated rate, and 4 spaceship companies creating as many fighters, corvettes, and frigates as possible and with fitting them Thanix cannons and 3 restaurants that many politicians enjoy going to."

"Holy shit!? Really?" I asked.

"... Yessss~," she hissed, "What do you think I've been doing?"

"Having fun with numbers~?" I shrugged sheepishly.

"I can do two things at once," she sighed, "If I were to be honest the way the market system works is rather simple, I guess no matter what dimension you might be at, money talks, and people listen. I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say we are pumping ships out at record speed, things would go easier if the council wasn't in the way, but I've been using the commander's spectre codes to cut through a lot of red tape, which reminds me, Commander Shepard co-owns most of your businesses, and remind me to tell Ms. Zorah thank you for the Quarian labor, turns out if you pay Quarians with Ships and material they are more than happy to work for lower wages."

"Please tell me you're paying them a living wage," I begged, Tali would kill me if she wasn't.

"Don't worry, the money might be lower than average, but they have free lodging and food," she waved away my concern. Thank God~, Tali has a mean mule kick.

"ENOUGH~! No more talk about money or business! We are talking about love! Hot, passionate, love!" Dagna roared, getting some of the people's attention.

"I have no idea why you're acting this way, I'm just going to give her a contract for coitus, like an adult." We just looked at her like she was crazy.

"... what?" we asked.

She gave me a confused look, "A contract." She pulled out a premade contract passing it to us. It was rather detailed, with things you can do, and can't do, and things open to debate, as well as location, time, and snacks. I was not surprised she's into roleplaying but was surprised she didn't enjoy bondage, those damn slavers hurt my precious CFO. It also had a nondisclosure agreement in the event that the lovemaking wasn't up to satisfactory levels, which was crazy, no one is good at sex the first time, half the time it's just learning about your lover, you need to do it at least 3 to 4 times before you get a handle on it.

Dagna tore up the contract and lit it on fire, "Are you an idiot? Is my best enemy an idiot? This is making me very upset."

"HEY! I worked hard on that!"

"That makes me angry," she deadpanned, "The woman I hated, which I grew to respect due to her hard work and effort, and then to have minor sexual fantasies about, turns out to be an idiot."

"Called it~," I muttered.

"I will not have an idiot nemesis," Dagna ignored me. "A foolish lover? Maybe. But not an idiot Nemesis."

"I can trounce you in any science," Telsa countered.

"But can you beat me in the matters of the heart!?" Dagna hissed, "Can you seduce a man with nothing but a batting of your eyelashes? A saucy smirk? A wink!? Can a single kiss have your lover begging for more?" she whispered. "Does the very sound of your voice make them shiver in pleasure?"

"Can yours?" I teased.

She slapped me on the shoulder, "Shush you! I know what leaves you a stuttering mess... Master~," she smirked, sticking out her tongue at me.

I coughed a bit, "Right, sorry, I love you... so very much~." We all have our weaknesses.

"Are you saying you'll help me?" Telsa interrupted.

"Duh~, I love Ayla from one end of the multiverse to the other, we all do, so helping her get laid is the least I can do. Make no mistake though, by having your way with our star, Julee and Sky will hold nothing back, there is a good chance that you won't leave the ship for the next week. Trust me, I'm not the only one with fantasies~, Julee has had an eye on you since Denerim and the moment Sky and Astral knew you brought in the most gold, you were on their radar."

"This seems like a montage moment~," I muttered.

"Play that funky music!" Dagna ordered.

We had a fun afternoon, we took Telsa clothes shopping, practiced flirting, makeup, snack break, a bit of liquid courage, and ended with us walking back to the Normandy.

"-And remember, Ayla tends to be a bit airheaded, so you have to make it clear that you're looking for a relationship." Dagna pointed out.

"Yes, I know, you already told me that," Telsa deadpanned, her hair was loose, and her glasses were off, and she was ready to mingle, which was weird because she only had a single bottle of beer. Either she got drunk off the ambiance or she was a real lightweight.

"Just making sure," I answered, "I'm just worried, I don't want you to be hurt."

"To love, is to open yourself to pain," Telsa answered, "I know the risks Nick, but thank you." she smiled and patted my face. "I like your stubble; makes you look rough."

"Heads up," Dagna called out. Walking into the Docking Bay we found most of the crew moving around the ship placing pieces of Silaris armor over the Mimic Alloy I coated the ship with. Things were moving smoothly. Ayla was front and center helping a couple of golems work on the belly of the Normandy.

"Alright, remember, keep a cool- and you're gone~," I looked over to find her walking boldly toward Ayla.

"Hey!" she pointed straight at Ayla, causing her to jump a little.

"Telsa? What's wrong? Nice hair," Ayla smiled.

"You got a lot of nerve~," Telsa huffed.

"uhm, What?"

"You think you can just walk around, with them hips, and them lips, and them... face!?" oh boy~, I think she might have had a bit too much to drink... somehow.

"Telsa... are you drunk?"

"Drunk on love!"

We need to save her. I took a single step before Dagna stopped me. "Dagna?"

"Let her cook," she answered.

"Telsa, maybe I should-" Ayla walked over to Telsa trying to help her stand.

"-I agree!" Before anyone got to do anything, Telsa grabbed Ayla's face and shoved her tongue down her throat. That got some attention, poor Richard tripped over his own feet. "Wow~," Telsa gasped.

Ayla was a blushing mess, "Yeah~."

"Kissing is great!" Sky called out quickly walking over.

"Oh, hey good loo-" Telsa didn't get to finish before Sky's tongue greeted her tonsils.

"You've been drinking, no drinking and kissing!" Sky lectured, tapping Telsa's lips, "Bravery should come from the heart, not the drink. Bedtime."

"I'm not sleepy~," Telsa huffed like a child, "I wanna kiss, and hug, and love."

"Sleep now, tomorrow you can kiss, and hug, and love. But with your own strength." She lifted the tipsy Telsa and walked back to the ship.

"Wait! I have a contract for Ayla!" Telsa waved around a piece of paper.

"... why didn't we think she wouldn't have copies?" I asked Dagna.

"... because, we're idiots?" she shrugged.

Ayla took the piece of paper reading over it, her face growing rosy, She quickly folded it and put it away.

"I WAS RIGHT~!" Telsa yelled at us. Ayla raised her eyebrow at us.

"Smile and wave?" Dagna asked me.

"Smile and wave." I began smiling as we walked into the Normandy, only for our ears to be caught by a tan hand. "Ouchy~!"

"You idiots have some explaining to do," Jak huffed.

"... Love should be free~." I got a chop for that.

-/-

"Why am I doing this again?" I asked, using my Construction skill on the Quarian transport, watching as a piece of welded on metal merge into the rest of the ship as if it was never patched in the first place. With The Normandy's new armor nearly in place and the Puma X-7 needing fewer hands not more, I was a few docks down working on the Quarian ship under the supervision of Ayla, Jak, Lia, Tali, and Zura.

"Cuz you got a young woman drunk and had her molest your girlfriend," Lia answered petting Dogmeat, that traitor. She was looking over my work.

"It was one kiss, and Ayla liked it," I huffed.

"That's not the point," Ayla huffed, spanking my bottom. "Poor Telsa is embarrassed to death; she can't even look me in the eye!"

I giggled, "She's fine, just a bit too much to drink, more importantly, I saw you pocket that contract~. Did something strike your fancy~," I teased.

Ayla's cheeks grew a light blush, "And what if it did?"

I pulled her in close and kissed her forehead, "Please go gentle on her~," I whispered for her ears only, "I didn't think Telsa has a lot of friends or crushes, I'm 90% certain you were her first kiss yesterday. If something does happen, please be there if Julee or Sky get handsy."

She tsked, "Who do you take me for~, of course, I'll be there for her, what about you?"

"Pish, of course, I'll be there, but you're her crush~, and you don't need me flexing all over the place." I teased flexing my pecs, She gave me a giggle at my overacting and gave me a smooch.

"You're an idiot~," I smiled.

"Your idiot?" I asked.

She patted my cheek, "my idiot," she confirmed.

"Our idiot~," Jak interrupted, "Now get back to work~, you're still in a lot of trouble."

"Come on~," I groaned, "How was I supposed to know she would have gotten drunk on a single bottle?"

"It's not that she got drunk, it's that you didn't stop her, her first kiss was a drunken mess."

"Actually, she was pretty good~," Ayla countered.

"That's because you were sober and got to enjoy it, poor Telsa is fuzzy on the details," Jak huffed. "Lia, sweety? Can you get this man inside to heal the Quarians on the ship? Dogmeat be a dear and make sure he doesn't cause any more problems~."

"Meat!" Dogmeat barked in confirmation, I'm this close to creating a dog translation collar that was shown in the movie UP. I understand it was an animated kids' movie but I'm in space, fighting space cuttlefish, I can make a damn translation dog collar. The only problem was that it only said meat, I'm not sure where I'm going wrong, I think it's the difference in brain activity, dogs aren't exactly sentient, but I knew Dogmeat is smarter than your average bear, I just have to adjust it until I get it right. At this moment he coming across as a Pokémon. Which was weird, cause Pancake, Nat's mabari, could talk normally, kinda~, she had an extremely heavy cockney accent, I could barely understand half the things she said, Nat, Lyna, and Ava seemed to understand her fine though.

"Yes ma'am!" Lia saluted and began shoving me toward the ship.

"Whoa~! Watch those hands!" Lia was a bit of a squeezer, "I love you~," I waved goodbye to the ladies.

"Love you too~," they waved back, "And no more Quarians! I don't care how much you love their hips!" Jak yelled back.

I snapped my fingers, "She knows me too well~," I smirked over to a blushing Lia.

"Do you have an off button?" I smirked at her question, "Don't answer that."

I gave a hearty chuckle, "All you have to do is ask, what kind of naughty ideas flashed through that mind of yours~." her blush grew, and punched me on the shoulder. I smirked at her, "How did that feel?"

She released a shaky breath, as if trying to hold back a moan, "It felt... better than it should have, violence isn't a good start to a working friendship."

"Mmm, I don't know, Nat loved it," I pointed out.

"Yes, and she told me she fell in love with a crazy person," she huffed.

"Sounds like a win-win," I joked.

"Uh-huh, forgive me if I don't believe you~," she drawled.

I gave a look around, "Where is everyone?" We've been walking for a bit and haven't walked by anyone, I know frigates aren't the biggest Ships, but we should have run into someone.

"The Waterloo is more of a mission ship; they usually have selected crew that leaves the Migrant fleet on the regular, so unlike normal ships they tend to have a small crew, for emergency pick-ups," Lia explained, "most of the crew is downstairs, most of them are trying to get a glimpse of the Tablets, it's not every day we get to see something from the home world."

"I guess. How many crew members does the ship have?" I asked.

"Mmm, for a human ship this big? Maybe, 300?"

"300!? That's way too many!" The Normandy had 119 crew members and that sometimes felt like it was too many.

Lia shrugged, "It could be less, but this is a pretty large ship."

"Maybe for a Quarian but I like my space~," I touched the hallway we were walking and placed a few dozen rune sentences, expanding the hallways space, durability, and a CO2 scrubber, that last one took me and Julee 2 weeks to make, it took great inspiration from plants ability to photosynthesize.

"Whoa~," Lia looked around the hallway, "Amazing~. Hey, do you think I'll be able to do this?"

"With time and training, rune crafting is a hard skill to use but when you have it, the galaxy opens up to you." We continued walking, the hallway was significantly longer and big enough to have 10 Quarian side to side without bumping into each other, "I might have to do this to every room here, I believe people should have the right to some level of privacy. Do you have any idea how long the Waterloo is going to be docked?"

"Mmm, I'm not sure, Illium isn't really a place where Pilgrims start their journey or get picked up after they get their gift, usually they tend to get picked up at the Citadel or a small colony at the edges of council space, but more and more pilgrims are being picked-up in human space lately. Apparently, humans are more accepting of Quarians than most Council races."

"Is it really that surprising?" I asked, "Quarians and humans tend to have some nasty reputations, the human bullies and the Quarian thieves~, and the fact that it pisses off the Council races the better, the Turians didn't make a lot of human friends."

"So, humans like Quarians, because it annoys the other races? That seems... petty."

I shrugged, "It's a win-win for humans, they get hard-working Quarians who are grateful for the chance to prove themselves and get to tell the Council to kiss their ass, if the Krogan weren't so headstrong you better believe humans would have welcomed them with open arms," I joked.

"Humans are crazy~."

"And the Quarians seem happy with that~," we laughed at the madness that was humanity.

"KEELAH! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?" a Quarian screamed from the end of the hallway. That only made me laugh harder. Lia slapped my shoulder rushing to the end of the hallway to explain what was going on.

"Women~," I joked to Dogmeat.

"Meat!" You said it buddy.

I of course wasn't going to sit around and wait for the Quarian to believe in magic, I just cured his immune system and continued to the med bay. This of course only confused the Quarian more, but I had full confidence Lia could explain it.

The Med lab was slightly bigger than the one on the Normandy, and some of the equipment seemed older, but the Normandy was one of the most advanced ships in the Galaxy, so that didn't mean much.

"I'm guessing you're the 'space wizard'," drawled an older Quarian sitting in her chair looking over some paperwork, well I guessed she was an older Quarian, the mask made it difficult to tell, and most Quarian kept it tight.

Quarian Doctor

Yifu'Tema vas Waterloo Nar Zeca

Lvl: 19

Age: 67

HP: 250/250

Aliments:

Weak immune system (500 MP)

Yifu'Tema was born in 2118, She became a doctor in 2147. She jumped from ship to ship teaching other Quarians medical skills, and she finally retired on The Waterloo wanting to be able to help young Quarians before and after their pilgrimage.

She's heard rumors of how dirty humans are.

"The very same~, names Nick Walters, fully vaccinated, takes daily showers, and eat with my hands." She gave me a long look, "Like a savage," I added.

"... you think it's funny to make fun of an old lady's fears," she huffed.

"Old!? You don't look a day over 25... I'm guessing," I teased.

"... You're a bit of an asshole, aren't you?"

"Meat!" Dogmeat nodded.

"A bit, yeah, but that's just who I am, I'm still trying to be a good guy, but damn is it hard sometimes," I took a seat across from her, "I mean, how do I become a good person? By doing good? But if I'm doing good to feel good, is that good, or do I do it for validation?"

"Meat~," Dogmeat patted my foot in comfort.

"... Do I look like your God damn therapist?"

"I don't know, maybe~, you have this whole mask thing going on~."

"Yeah, I have this 'whole mask thing going on' for years now~," she drawled.

"And you're a bit cantankerous~."

"I'm surprised you even know such a big word."

"I ate a dictionary to gain all its power."

"That would explain why you have such a large mouth for a little shitty brat. I saw Tali'zorah come by here without her suit, she told me that you cured her immune system, is that right?" she huffed, I'm pretty sure the only thing this granny was missing was a cigar, I think she's Zaeed's perfect woman.

"Yes ma'am~, I've done goofed and the ladies in my life aren't happy with my tomfoolery, so I'm here to help. You want me to cure you first?" I asked.

"Do you know the side effects of your little cure?" she huffed.

I sent her all the omni tool data I was able to collect since I cured the Quarians on the Normandy, "I also cured some Quarians from the Janna, but I'm not sure about them, I fear they might be some Quarian Doctor's test subjects back on the fleet."

"Those dumbasses could barely buckle their suits correctly, I wouldn't be surprised if they were just poking them with sticks," she muttered, looking through my notes. "Solus? Mordin Solus?" she asked looking at Mordin's side notes.

"You know him?"

"He was some little shit that thought he was some big shot back when I was working in the Citadel, I thought he would have turned mad scientist by now," she muttered, looking at his notes.

"Well, 'Mad' is a bit much, we like to think of it as 'quirky'."

"Potato, tomato."

"Actually it's-"

"I don't care, you damn humans have a million freaking idioms," she interrupted me, "it seems like your notes are in order, you just don't have a large test group. Cure me," she ordered. Grabbing some equipment to scan herself to see what changes would happen during the process.

"Just like that?"

"I'm 67, and I've only taken off my suit to fuck my man and give birth to my boy, I wanna drink my water without an emergency induction port. So, cure me and stop wasting my time."

"... you know... you're kinda cool... for a crazy old lady~." I grabbed her shoulder and lit up the room in healing light. It took a moment, but the light faded returning the room to normal.

"Was the light show really needed?" she huffed looking at her omni tool.

"Does anything faze you? And yes, the light show was needed. It makes me feel special," I joked.

She rolled her eyes, "Why any woman fucks you is a question for the ages~."

"Nick, are you in here?" Lia came rushing around the door.

"Yo~," I gave her a peace sign.

"Hey," Doc pointed to Lia, "Is this your idiot?"

"Uh, well, uhm, I guess."

"GASP! You do love me~," I teased.

"Shut up!" Lia hissed, "I hope he hasn't caused you any trouble Doctor Tema," she bowed.

"Baa~, My grandchild causes me more trouble than this bag of shitty jokes, but you should keep an eye on him. He's the type of idiot that's going to cause an interspecies incident," she huffed reaching for her mask, I quickly turned around making sure I didn't look at her. The hissing of the mask clamps releasing was heard throughout the room. "Well, isn't that adorable~, scared of an old lady's face?"

"I thought it was different for older Quarians," I shrugged, looking at the wall, "Tali, Lia, and Zura, are young, and they were happy to remove their mask, but I thought older Quarians made a much bigger deal out of showing their face to others?"

"We don't show our face because there is a good chance we'll die, but since I'm not going to die, I'm not going to live with this stupid thing on, so turn around when I'm talking to you, you dunderhead."

Turning around I saw the doctor's face, like every other Quarian so far, She was extremely pale lavender, near white, with short, peppered hair, and bio-enhancers on her cheeks, but the most striking thing I saw was how youthful she looked, she really didn't look a day over 35. "How are you 67?"

"HA!" she laughed, "These things aren't for show, Ya shitty brat~," she pointed to her Bio-enhancers, "they help better distribute nutrients and medicine throughout the body. There is no 'retirement' in the Migrant Fleet, these things allow us to live longer and work harder with less."

"Looks painful," I muttered.

She shrugged, "We got it down to a science, some of us need more than others, but we all have them and it only itches for the first day, that medi-gel you humans made makes it far safer." That explains why Lia has more than Tali, and Zura has less than both.

"Mmm, you learn something new every day~. Anyway, I need to use the Medi bay as a base to start curing the Crew, so I'm going to have to... Redecorate a bit," I wasn't asking.

She tsked, "You break anything, and you're paying to replace it, and I'm not looking for any hand-me-downs, I want top-of-the-line equipment."

"What~!? That's not fair! Everything in here looks ready to turn to dust!"

She shrugged, "That sounds like a you problem~."

I tsked, "I think you're the first evil Quarian I have ever met~." She just smirked at me, "... there's something already broken in here isn't there~." She just kept smirking. "Take your money you ancient vulture." I transferred over 250,000 credits.

She looked wide-eyed at the amount before coughing, "This will do, try and keep my home in one piece," she huffed and walked out of the room.

"How much did you give her? She was skipping out of here," Lia pointed out.

"250,000 creds."

She just gave me a long look, "Telsa was right, you have no concept of money, do you? Nothing in this room is worth that much to replace, and can't you just fix anything you 'break'?"

I gave her a shrug, "Telsa's my money Guru, and I liked the old bag of bones, Let her buy some new toys, it gives me plenty of time to get this lab to my preferred luxury."

"... you're a little crazy, aren't you?" she asked.

"A little, yeah, but if it makes you feel better, you're a little crazy too," I smirked at her.

She blinked at me, "... yeah, I guess I am," she sighed.

"I'm happy you've come to terms with your madness," I patted her on the back, "Now if you could help by giving me time to fix this place up a bit by keeping the crew at bay unless they're injured of course, Daddy has some work to do~."

"... Please never call yourself Daddy again."

"Noted!" I shooed her away.

I started by expanding the room, giving me enough space to have over 3 dozen beds side to side with enough room to walk around in, curtains for privacy, and polished white floors, I fixed every wonky machine to its maximum durability but didn't make more, Doc was probably buying new ones and the Quarian people recycle everything, some these might just be moved to a new ship. I removed her old desk and replaced it with a new stained Magical red wood desk nearly twice the size, brand new cabinets, and new chairs with comfort runes. Speaking of runes, I placed minor healing runes under each bed to speed up the healing process. All and all it only took me less than an hour, Magic was amazing~, and I'm looking forward to healing the Quarians, it will be a good chunk of Exp, I've been stuck at level 71 for some time.

Gamer Human

Nick Walters

Lvl: 71

Exp: 38470/72000

HP 2290/2290 (5495/5295 armor)

MP 1830/1830 (4875/4875 armor)

CP 2290/2290 (5495/5295 armor)

Str: Superhuman

Vit: you cough vitamins

Dex: Spidey reflexes

Int: It's important to be a well-rounded individual

Wis: A little paranoia goes a long way

Cha: You have a trustworthy face

Luk: You tend to find yourself in the right place at the right time

Stat points: 29

Money:

72583G 94S 29C

454,948,857 credits

While I was still getting EXP from my golems killing Darkspawn in the deep roads everything was split 11 ways through my party, I didn't really mind, my level was high enough for me, it was my skills that I wanted to level up, any EXP for my skills are separate for the Party share. My Healing Hands skill was at Master Rank, and I had a way to go before I reached Grandmaster Rank, but curing the Quarian gave me a massive EXP to that skill due to it being costly and rare.

"Nick are you- Whoa~," Lia gawked at the new Med Bay.

"Nice right~? You can send in my first patient!" I ordered.

"MEAT!" Dogmeat agreed.

237, that was how many Quarians were stationed in this frigate, Most frigates need a crew of about 100 or so people depending on the size, the Waterloo being a human ship it was on the rather large size being just larger than the Normandy, it still left everything cramped.

The MP needed to cure a Quarian's immune system was about 500, which lowered 5 MP every 10th person I healed because my Skill was getting the hang of it after repeated use, so by the time I got to the last person it only took 380 MP to cure. Every person cured gave me 150 EXP but began to lower as the MP needed to cure them lowered, leaving me with a nice 22,130 Exp divided 11 ways giving me a decent 2,011 EXP and some change. While not a lot for my next level up, it was great for my Healing Hands skill taking me one large step closer to my Grandmaster Rank.

"Hey ya shitty brat, what did you do to my office!?" Doc Tema huffed walking into the Med Bay.

"Yo Granny~, your old office was way too small for my liking, so I made it a bit bigger," I huffed, putting my feet up on the desk and leaning back on the chair. She tsked and yanked the chair back causing me to teeter, "Holy-" I waved my arms like a mad man steading myself. "Have you lost your mind you old hag!? My life flashed before my eyes!"

"Don't put your feet on my desk, where did you put everything?" she asked looking around the room.

"I asked Lia to label everything," I huffed, I'm not perfect but messing up a medical professional's working area is just way too evil even for me, so I'd made sure everything went back to its original spot.

"Did you restock?"

"Hell no~," I huffed, "Restock your own shit, that's what the money was for."

She tsked, "The nerve of some people, making the elderly do all the work." she muttered, checking every cabinet making sure everything was in its place. "Are you going to do this to every room on the ship?"

I gave a shrug, "maybe. if I have the time. It's one thing to do it on the Normandy, I live there, I'm just visiting The Waterloo."

"Should I worry about the room shrinking on me?" she huffed.

"No, the Runes are stable, and the ship is strong... for the most part, the only time you need to worry is if the ship is blowing up, and my cute apprentice is already working on that," I waved away her worry. "Now if you don't mind I have a date with a b-e-a-uuuutiful woman, and Neria's a woman you don't keep waiting, If you have any questions, please ask Lia, or Jak, or Dagna, or Tali, you know what there are a lot of people you can ask, bye~," I waved goodbye.

I should hurry, Neria wanted to check out the local library, apparently, Nos Astra had a real library with real books, in a galaxy where everything was digital, paper books were considered rare, and luxurious, which was another way the city showed off their wealth. I had no idea why Neria wanted to go, everything was written in the Asari's native language but whatever, I was just planning a picnic, followed by some shopping, and seeing where the night would take us.

-/-

Neria POV

I stacked a couple of pancakes on my plate.

"Well, someone is hungry~," Lyna teased.

I blew her a raspberry as I sat next to her, "I... had a hard 'workout' last night~." Across from me was Ayla and Ava with Lyna next to me.

"Yeah, I know~, poor Ayla was hot and bothered by your... calls of exhaustion~," Lyna joked.

"No I wasn't!" Ayla hissed, her cheeks burning like a campfire, "You watch one time and people label you for life, Maker~."

"Once~," Ava teased, "as in once a week?"

"... I don't kink shame you," Ayla huffed.

"I'm not shaming you, in all honesty, I find your gaze rather flattering," Ava answered, "It makes me feel... desirable." Ayla's been trying to get rid of her voyeur status for a while, but since we lived together without others, we tend to... go at it like rabbits when the time strikes, and we've noticed that Ayla tends to stick around and watch. So, to mess with her we purposely leave doors open or do it somewhere where she could see us. It's so cute watching her peek through doors and behind corners.

"Desirable? Is that a joke? Have you seen yourself?" Ayla sighed. "You're built like a superhero... please don't tell me it's about your arm~," Ayla groaned, she reached out to Ava gingerly grabbing her mechanical hand, and slowly kissed up her arm. "You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. I love your smile, I love your humor, I love how you argue, I love how you sleep, I love how you laze around, I love how you punch, I love how you scrunch your nose when you have to eat your vegetables, I love how when you read you wear fake glasses to look smart, I love how after a long passionate night you walk around naked most of the morning, I love-"

"Okay, okay, I get it, you love me," she giggled pushing Ayla away stopping her from leaving any more lipstick marks on her face.

"And don't you ever forget it!" Ayla huffed. "I got Nicky tomorrow night," she pokes her in the arm, "You will, join me and Dagna."

"Dagna?" I asked through a mouthful of pancakes. Being in a polyamorous relationship can be a bit tricky at times, as a group we come up with group dates, solo dates, outings, and yes, nights of lovemaking, it was rather odd at first but after our sixth orgy we had to have a system, otherwise Nick would have died, turns out men can't pump out orgasm after orgasm like women could, even with magic, that didn't stop the occasional rump or surprise date, but the group calendar made it easy for us to keep track and have private time with one another, for Ayla to share her private time is very generous and kind.

"I... may have lost a bet. She was definitely cheating in that card game last night," she hissed. Sometimes we use our time as gambling chips or sell it for a favor, that time would then go from solo to group time.

"She wasn't, you just weren't paying attention," Lyna rolled her eyes. "80% of the time you were trying to get a peek at Nick's bedroom."

Ayla blushed before glaring at me, "I blame you~."

"Me~?" I gasped.

"Yeah, you! I thought you were being stabbed!"

"Uh-huh ~," I drawled, "I guess I was being... stabbed plenty~," I joked.

"Excuse me," EDI interrupted coming over with a stack of food half her size.

"EDI~!" We cheered.

"Sit-sit!" I called out, patting the seat next to me.

"Thank you." EDI quickly became the ship's mascot, and everyone loved her, she was like all our little sister, well, everyone's sister but Joker's, she was his Girlfriend~. It wasn't official or anything, but those two idiots kept pawing at each other, sooner or later they were going to tear off their clothes.

"So, EDI what are your plans for today?" Lyna asked.

EDI took a huge bite of a pancake looking like a chipmunk before swallowing, she's lucky she doesn't need air, any food she ate landed in her heavily runic stomach that was converted into energy that kept her body in top condition. It worked a lot like the Chalice of Convergence in the J-family mansion, but nowhere as powerful. "We should be finished with the Armor today, and begin work on the Cyclonic Barrier, which should be highly effective with the large arc reactor Nick will be installing with the help of the engineering crew," she answered eating another pancake.

"Not for the ship, for you~, Joker has been taking quick peeks at your buns~," Lyna teased, bouncing her eyebrows. Joker has lasted longer than most people thought he would, especially with a woman like EDI after him, but lately, he has been giving her longing looks whenever she wasn't paying attention.

EDI just looked deeply at the pancake in her hands, before swallowing it whole. "How did you seduce Walters?" she asked. Nick? I gave it a moment of thought.

"The Naked Woman," Ava answered. "I snuck into his bed naked," she gave EDI a thumbs up. "It was easy, Ayla was there, she'll vouch for me." Ayla covered her face in embarrassment but still nodded.

"That does seem straightforward," EDI hummed.

"Don't listen to her~," Lyna huffed, "She's missing the part where they were going into a life and death battle the next day, hormones were flying high."

Ava huffed, "It also worked the day after, and the day after that, and the week after that, and look at me now."

Lyna gave her sister a deadpan look, "That's fair, I guess, but unless you want to wait until a life-and-death battle, I would choose another plan."

"How did you do it?" EDI asked her.

Lyna blinked, "Me? We were in the Rune Lab, working on a new rune that would mimic Nick's ability to change clothes instantaneously, there was a small accident, which ended with us both naked. There may have been an explosion~, my life flashed before my eyes, my heart was pounding, and I decided that I wasn't going to wait anymore, we did it right there, on the floor." she gave out a longing sigh, "It was a bit embarrassing when everyone rushed into the room, but it was still one of the most amazing feelings in the world. I still get goosebumps when I hear an explosion. I can't even watch action movies anymore," she joked. "While it was amazing, I wouldn't recommend nearly dying to tell someone you love them."

EDI took another moment and ate another pancake, before looking over at me.

"Me?" I gave a hum, "We were in Mother Base's Library, there were no explosions or Death battles the next day, in fact, it was a normal day, if you consider flying islands normal. We just finished helping the Grey Wardens at Weisshaupt and we were putting away some of the books Nick copied, there wasn't much to it, one minute, we were putting away some books, joking, laughing, and the next, my back was up against the shelves, tearing off his shirt." I gave an embarrassed laugh, "We knew we had something going on, but something always got in the way, The blight, rebuilding, experiments~, it wasn't until we left the Grey Warden HQ, that we realized that there was nothing getting in the way. We kinda became animals after that, every second we got a moment of free time we couldn't keep our hands to ourselves." I lifted my hand up to show off my Ring of Love, "I'm lucky Julee gave me this, otherwise Jak Jr. Would have been born by now," I joked. "So, unless you have the patience to wait for the end of the Reaper war to be over, I wouldn't recommend following my lead."

EDI let out a sigh, before eating another pancake.

"I think you should go with a contract; Telsa made a lot of good points in hers~," Ayla spoke up, passing EDI the piece of paper, it took EDI less than a second to read it before humming.

"A contract? Isn't this a bit unorthodox? In the movies (read: Porn) and books (read: Smut) I watched and read; it tends to be spontaneous," EDI muttered.

"I'm not saying it can't be a spur-of-the-moment thing, but having a contract gives you that extra protection," Ayla explained taking the contract back, "And it gives the other person time to research some of the things you might be into and know what to not do."

"A contract?" EDI hummed before nodding, "Yes, I will try this!" she stood up, ate her last pancake, and bowed," Thank you for your help!" she ran off.

"I think we did good today ladies," Ava nodded, "we are Trail Blazers~."

I shrugged, "Yep~, either we just made women history, or burned the world around us."

-/-

Tali POV

"Easy~, easy~, EASY!" I yelled.

"Would you stop screaming, I'm half a step away~," Nick muttered, pulling out the Eezo core. "It's not even on!" he huffed.

I rolled my eyes at the caveman, "Eezo engines are very sensitive, if the drive is broken it might leak out Eezo radiation, which could be very bad for us."

"That would explain why we are the only ones in here~," he muttered, looking up at the 4th floor where the rest of the engineering crew was watching us from. Leaving only me and Nick to take out the tiny engine. Technically you would be fine, the engine was rather small, and we were wearing top of the line enviro-suits, that had powerful shields, but I wasn't going to tell Nick that, I would rather have him believe we were in real danger so he could be extra cautious. Whoever made this thing was a mad scientist, this drive engine was crazy, fighters like the Puma, weren't really made for FTL, it was way too small, ships this size were usually fitted with helium-3 engines and a small Eezo core for fast but short close combat. The fact that someone had the Quads to shove a miniature FTL engine in here is crazy. "So, it will only leak and not explode... right?"

"Yes, Eezo tends to get dangerous when power is running through it, as long as it is off, we don't have to worry about it blowing up," I huffed, "Put it over here," I pointed to the premade desk. Nick carefully followed my instructions. "Okay~, let's pop this bad boy open." this was one of the most beautiful and sturdy engines I have ever seen, I can understand why there was only a hundred and fifty of these were made, they must have cost millions of credits each, and I'll be damned if they didn't put their blood, sweat, and tears into their design.

It was a slow job, but we were able to remove the Eezo from the engine and place it in a sealed container. Nick then made a quick Magical copy, before I added the Eezo back, and carefully put the engine back into its power core. Keelah, I was a sweaty mess, I always hate working on engine repair, at least we weren't doing it in zero gravity.

Nick patted me on the back, "That's what I'm talking about!" He cheered, I had no idea why he was so happy we had to put it back together, but still~, we did it, I looked up to the rest of the engineering crew who were also cheering.

Putting it back together went far faster than before, everything just slotted back into place rather easily, whoever made this ship wanted it to be easy to replace any broken object quickly and efficiently, no fuss, no muss. Joker was crying, seeing his baby back in one piece, the baby. He even started up the ship making sure everything was okay. EDI ripped him a new one, turns out that starting up a spaceship in the Shuttle Bay without running the proper tests tends to make people very upset. Joker was in the doghouse, she even demoted him to co-pilot for a week, I didn't even know she could do that, I think this is what people call 'being whipped'.

With the Puma back in one piece, and Joker properly chastised, we moved on to the Cyclonic Barrier, which compared to the new armor was far easier to install due to it enhancing the shields we already had and thanks to Nick's large arc reactor we had more than enough power to swat away a dreadnought Main gun, well according to my readings anyway. I just don't want to be here if it happens. I believe the Normandy itself is a dreadnought in a Frigates chasse, better even, her speed, her power, her durability, she might be the most dangerous ship in the galaxy.

"Alright people~," Nick drawled, "it's quitting time~, Dinner's in half an hour, and the Night shift is on their way~."

"Ugh~," Gabby sighed stretching out her limbs, "Today's been too long~."

"Don't even get me started, installing the FBA Couplings was a mess," Donney groaned.

"I'm just happy we did it before Nick expanded the room," Lia'Vael sighed.

"Otherwise, you would have crawled for over 100 meters," Zura'Nul pointed out.

"ugh~, that would have sucked~," Donney huffed, "EDI, How is the ship handling the new power source?"

"The ship is functioning at 100% efficiency, Engineer Donnelly, The Arc reactor has taken well and has become the ship's main battery, the Fusion plant and the H-fuel cells have been placed as emergency axillary power," EDI came over the comms.

"Have you calculated in the Hyperspace engine?" I asked.

"I have run millions of hypothetical scenarios of the power needed for the hyperspace engine, but physical testing is required for an accurate assessment."

"Don't worry too much about it EDI," Nick waved away her worry, "We have the blueprints for the Puma, and have been talking with Anderson about testing in Alliance Space."

"What kind of tests?" Zura'Nul asked.

Nick shrugged, "Nothing too crazy, The Ship will use the Hyperdrive to circle Alliance space dropping FTL Comm buoys and satellites in locations faraway Star systems that aren't connected to the Mass relays."

"How much did that cost you?" Gabby asked.

Nick just shrugged, "He just wanted a copy of the Hyperspace engine design, It doesn't mean much without the Refined Coaxium~."

Wait a tick, "I need Refined Coaxium," this Bosh'tet only gave me the Blueprints but nothing to power the engine! He just smirked at me. That Bosh'tet! "What do you want for the Coaxium?" I hissed.

"Mmm, that's a good question, what do you have that I want? I have money, a model for Julee, I live in a sweet ship," he blinked, "I need someone to teach me how to use an Omni tool correctly. At the moment I am using Miranda's old one, but I don't know how to use it."

"You're using Miranda's Omni tool? Are you an idiot?" I huffed.

"I had Mordin scrub it, and then I had Jenny scrub it, don't let her gruff attitude fool you, she's pretty decent with technology. You can scrub it if you want, I only use it for making my Animated series, games, and emails, haven't used it for much else," he shrugged as his omni tool came to life and hopped into my wrist.

"Whoa ~," I looked at it in shock, it must be one of Nick's golems.

"It's thought-operated," he explained. I quickly flew through his omni tool, the moment I thought about something it immediately jumped to it, no lag or having to press any buttons.

Digging through his Omni tool I found not that would show any spyware or virus, I also looked through some of the cartoons he was making, Garrus Vakarian: A Turian Story, was due to come out in two days, and Commander Shepard: Race against time was due 3 days after that, but there was also other titles, David E. Anderson: The call of duty, Jeff Moreau: He who laughed last, Zaeed Massani: Burning Vengeance, and Justicar Samara: Heavy justice. Nick seemed to have a full plate.

"You're fine," his omni tool jumped from my wrist and back onto his, I stuck my hand out at him, "Coaxium for lessons?"

"Deal~." We shook on it.

"Hey, ya guys wanna play some poker!" Donney called out, waving a deck of cards.

"Sounds like fun," Shepard came through the doors.

"C-commander!" Donney gave a sloppy salute, causing Gabby to giggle.

"At ease Donney, I'm technically not part of the alliance at the moment so you don't have to salute me. So, what's this about poker."

"Oh uh, I just," Donney fumbled waving his cards around, "You wanna join?"

"I'm a bit rusty," Shepard lied.

"I don't trust that face at all~," Nick whispered to me.

"I guess being crazy doesn't mean being dumb~," I whispered back.

He just laughed.

-/-

Nick POV

Quest: Hunting a Hunter's prey.

Thane Krios, legendary master assassin, is a hard man to find, so, unable to find him, find what he's hunting. Track and find Nassana Dantius and Thane will come to you.

Reward: 50,000 EXP, 30,000 credits, 1 gold loot box, 1 gacha token, new recruit: Thane Krios

"Eagle is in the nest," Garrus came over the comms.

"Rhino ready to charge," Miranda called out next.

I looked over to Shepard, "Hold steady, our ride is almost here," he called out looking out into the city, "Everyone, get ready to jump."

"You know, Nos Astra is beautiful at night," I complimented, the neon lights, hover cars, advertisements, it all looked like a cyberpunk dream.

"Eyes on the prize Nicky~," Kasumi teased.

"Is that why your eyes are glued to Sky's ass?" I teased back.

"On her 'wings'." she corrected, I couldn't see her face with her new helmet, but I could tell she was blushing. "They are very beautiful."

"Uh-huh~, I believe you~," I teased.

"Shut up~," she hissed, tapping me with her elbow.

"Here it comes," Shepard called out. "Get ready we have one chance at this." At the moment, Shepard, Kasumi, Sky, Jak, Ava, Jacob, Mordin, and I were standing in a very high skyscraper, overlooking the metropolis that was Nos Astra. Looking down I saw our prey.

-/-

Nassana has finally stopped running... kinda. "A train?" I asked. That's not right, wasn't she hiding in one of her buildings?

"Yes," Liara answered, showing us a hologram of a very big train along with some video footage. "Nassana bought this air train some time ago to transport her goods through Illium, but recently it has been making random stops in specific heavily guarded locations, picking up food and eclipse mercs before flying off." At the moment the ground crew was in Liara's new magically expanded office looking at our next mission.

"She's using the train as a mobile base," Shepard huffed.

"I believe so, Mr. Krios has her scared to stay in one place for too long, it is a top-of-the-line air train, with powerful shields and heavy armor," Liara answered.

"Who cares about some Asari broad?" Zaeed huffed, "Aren't we here for some assassin?"

"Do you know where he is?" Tali rhetorically asked.

"Thane Krios is rumored to be the best assassin in the galaxy," Miranda huffed, "If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be, so if we want a meeting-"

"-We are going to need his target," Jacob answered, "I doubt she's going to come in easily."

"Good," Grunt grinned, "More fun that way."

"I doubt we can just storm the train," Garrus pointed out.

"No. The train will leave the first sign of fighting. Need stealth," Mordin added.

"What's stopping her from just detaching the train, shoot, what's stopping her from getting on a ship and flying into the darkness of space?" Jak asked.

"This isn't the first planet she's run off to, Mr. Krios is persistent, she did try a few months ago," Liara pulled up some images of the scattered remains of a blown-up ship. "She hasn't tried that again. As for the train, it can only disconnect until it reaches a checkpoint, this way if the train stops nothing can fall to any building below."

"Is it on some sort of track?" Sereda asked, "What is stopping it from just flying away?"

"Illium police. Illium is a beast of ill moral repute and bureaucracy, and it will bring down the hammer on anyone and anything that gets in the way of its efficiency, rich CEO or not, and you better believe a train moving out of its designated airspace is going to get every officer in the city to be there to arrest and fine her every last credit she has left," Liara answered. "Let's just say Nassana has a lot of enemies."

"Do we even know where she's going to stop?" Ayla asked.

"As I said, she has a lot of enemies, some of those enemies are disgruntled employees, there is a large shipment of food to be delivered to one of Nassana's Private ports, here in Nos Astra in the Warehouse district." Liara showed us a large open holographic warehouse. "I give you 10 to 20 minutes before the train takes off again."

"What are the chances Thane is in the train when it takes off?" I asked, everyone looked over at me, "What?" I shrugged, "If you know this information chances are he does too, he's been chasing her longer than us."

"Mmm, the chances aren't zero~," Liara pointed out, "If he were on the train, I would suggest you get to Nassana first, I doubt he's going to stick around for long after his job is done."

Shepard squinted, "Can you expand this?" Liara pressed a few buttons showing off skyscrapers, "There aren't any air cars."

Liara shook her head, "Nassana owns the area and only her ships are allowed, Anyone who tries is fined, but she's skipped the fine and is blowing up any ship that gets too close."

Shepard gave a smirk that made me shiver, "I got a plan."

-/-

"Jump-jump-jump!" Shepard called out diving off the skyscraper and toward the train that just pulled up to the warehouse. We played follow the leader with Shepard taking the lead. Let me tell you something, skydiving is one of the most heart-pounding experiences I have ever had, I can understand why some people get addicted, adrenaline is a hell of a drug. We fell for four seconds, about 250 feet, before Shepard's jetpack activated blasting him forward, we followed suit, trying to stay in one line, using the night and the neon light to hide our approach. "Rhino, charge!" Shepard called out over the radio.

There was a huge explosion in the front of the warehouse causing the mercs to scramble and run for the entrance, making our landing nearly quiet, I say 'nearly' because a guard on the train spotted us, only for his head to explode.

"Scoped and dropped!" Garrus called over the comms.

"Sky!" Shepard pointed to the head cart, but before she got to do anything the train started moving, Not wasting another second, she grabbed the top of the control cart and pealed the top off like a soda can, allowing us entry.

"Thane's on the train," I said, pointing to the sleeping Train conductor, he didn't have anything too serious, Thane must have drugged him with some sort of sleeping agent because he had a timer over his head with a 2-hour time limit.

"Train locked. Can't be changed. Stopping near a police station. 2 hours," Mordin pointed out tapping on the controls.

"That's fine, that was our plan to start with," Shepard nodded. The plan was straightforward, Garrus was our sniper giving us cover and an outside detail, Rhino, which was everyone else, was the distraction, getting the mercs to look away as we landed on the train, and we were the infiltrators, get to Nassana and get her out, but with Thane here we needed to get to Nassana before Thane vanished again. With the train unable to stop, we only had to worry about the Mercs in the train, all 100 carts of them, well, whatever Thane leaves for us anyway. "Rhino, scatter, I repeat, scatter."

"We hear you commander," Miranda called out, "Light them out!" was the last thing we heard was Grunt laughing before a large explosion cut them off. Sounded like they were having fun.

"Alright, everyone, with me," Shepard ordered taking the lead with his new runic M-96 Mattock, it hit with the rage of a stampeding elephant, with his shoulder cannons giving him covering support. "Nassana should be at the back of the train."

Carefully entering the first cart we found a merc with his neck at a very... uncomfortable angle. He was probably making sure the conductor didn't run off, and after seeing the controls I kinda understood, that shit was confusing, I'm pretty sure you needed a college degree to use it.

I won't lie, the train was beautiful, each cart was around 50 feet wide by 70 feet long, everything was clean, it was made with comfort in mind, the seats were some kind of velvet, there were paintings and tapestries, clearly someone was very rich and wasn't shy about showing off.

"Did you just steal that booth?" Kasumi asked.

"Kleptomania tends to come with being an adventurer, we just can't not take something. How do you think I furbish my castle? Half the things I own come from ancient crips, castles, and dungeons, is it my fault that the bad guys have all the cool stuff?" I shrugged, taking a painting.

"You got a problem~," she teased, also taking a painting.

"Where is everyone?" Jacob asked out loud. He had a point, 4 carts in and the only two people we'd come across were the conductor and a corpse.

"Maybe, they were in the middle of shift change, and the explosion may have led more out of the train before it took off?" I suggested, keeping my Gauss Rifle pointed down the aisles, the place was empty. "I don't hear any gun fighting," how could Thane hide in a place like this? Maybe a cloak suit like Kasumi? He is an assassin, maybe he was able to buy one before he changed his ways?

3 more carts and a bunch of furniture looted, later we came across our first living person.

Carefully walking into the cart, we found 5 dead mercs, and the cries of someone in a bathroom, opening the door we came face to face with a terrified Asari. She was half naked and scared, I quickly draped her in one of my large coats.

"Go towards the front, no one is up there but the unconscious conductor, The train is already heading to the police station, lock the door behind you," I ordered. She just nodded and ran away not saying a word.

"Stab wounds, right through the jugular, bled out in seconds," Jacob called out looking at the bodies, "Except this one," he turned over a batarian, his eyes gouged out, a horrified expression etched on his face.

"I'm guessing that means something," Ava spoke up.

"Batarians believe eyes are where the soul exits to the afterlife. heavy insult if damaged. Sending a message. Scaring the rest of the batarians," Mordin explained.

"Commander are we still going silent?" I asked.

He gave me a long look.

-/-

Thane Krios POV

The infiltration was a success, the bottom panels were loose just like the builders said they would. Note to self, If I ask someone to build something for me make sure to pay them in full. I have no idea what that explosion was, I know Nassana had enemies but to just attack her head-on? A bit amateurish and a lot foolhardy, still they got rid of a good deal of the crew.

These eclipse mercs weren't exactly at their best, but to their credit I've been starving them for the last 3 days, hitting Dantius's docks made her extra paranoid. Most didn't even see me coming so sneaking around them was simple and those who did were sloppy with hunger, so I made quick work of them and stuffed them in a closet, trains aren't a great place to stash bodies. Getting to the back was fast work, occasionally I would run into a mistreated worker who I would lock behind a room with some nutrient paste, I counted eight so far. Unfortunately, it would seem Nassana kept heavy hitters in the back carts, and they were being fed, both food and stems. They were wide awake and ready for a fight, getting past them was going to be difficult, especially with the krogan blocking the door.

That was until a huge racket came from the carts behind me, sticking to the shadows, I waited for what was making all that noise. One of the mercs made an executive decision to check out the noise only to come face to face with a huge steal fist launching him across the cart, as a giant mech came running through the other cart not slowing down in the least, ramming into the Krogan guarding the back door, still not slowing down, using the krogan as a battering ram. All hell broke loose, most of the mercs turned to the behemoth shooting it not caring about friendly fire. The mech didn't seem to care about the damage, slamming through door after door.

The merc's confusion left them open to a surprise attack from a group of heavily armed weirdos making their presents known by making enough noise to drown out a herd of stampeding Elcor.

"Smite." A golden bolt of energy came from the cart behind me piercing through a merc but it didn't stop, It bounced off the wall hitting another merc and another and another and another filling the room in bright light before it faded, leaving most of the room's occupants on the floor, some got lucky and were able to escape the death bolt, me being one of them.

Following that a bolt of living lightning in the vague appearance of a woman unleashed heavy electrical damage, causing any remaining mercs to seize up, twitching uncontrollably, this is why I insulated my armor long ago, you only had to be shocked once to learn you never want that to happen again. A large woman with horns and a tail that didn't seem to have a weapon, if you don't count her fists, came behind her crushing the head of any Merc that wasn't fast enough to get out of the way, on her back was a human woman with a pistol that must have had some sort of armor-piercing mod, because it pierced clean through any armor or shield it came up against.

Behind them came a Salarian and 2 human males all wearing similar armor, double tapping any merc and rushing forward, Before I moved after them, one last human male came through the door, watching the dead in case they got back up. He suddenly turned to me looking me dead in the eye. 1, 2, 3 seconds before he looked away looking at the other corners and shadows, he was looking for something.

"Nick?" one of the men called out.

"No civilians, I'm guessing Nassana didn't want her men to get distracted. Also, I think we may have passed Thane at some point, or he's using the vents or something," 'Nick' shrugged, jogging out of the room. Leaving me in a very quiet room.

I guess they're looking for me. I looked back at the bodies; I'm also guessing subtlety isn't one of their strong suits.

-/-

Shepard POV

"We passed him?" I asked, following our heavy hitters clearing out whole rooms, Ava was really dangerous in enclosed areas.

"There is a good chance that he's using us as a distraction or maybe even as his battering ram, not a lot of places someone could hide in an enclosed space like this," Nick explained.

"Can't you find him with magic?" I asked.

He shook his head, "Magic could do just about anything, If I had his blood or his favorite gun, maybe, but something is blocking me from seeing him, he might have a patron watching out for him."

"A god?" I asked.

"More than likely, I wouldn't call him a Paladin or Cleric, but he might have a boon, someone doesn't just become a legendary assassin by accident, his skills and grit must have caught someone's attention," Nick explained.

"Even though we aren't here to hurt him?" Jacob asked.

"Just because we don't wanna cause him injury doesn't mean we're not gonna hurt him, We are asking him to go on a suicide mission after all, maybe his patron doesn't want him to be hurt, maybe Thane doesn't trust us so his skills hid him from our sight, or maybe he's just so good that we can't even see him. Not the first rogue to get the drop on me," Nick shrugged. "How many mercs does one woman need~?" he sighed, stepping over a dead krogan, and taking his weapon.

"Thane must have had her scared," Jacob answered, shooting a groaning Merc.

We continued heading to the back of the ship one cart at a time, We had to stop for a moment due to Nick's golem finally reaching its breaking point, Nick just stuffed it back into his hammerspace and summoned another mech golem which took up its fallen brother's duty and continued the charge through the train, by the time we reached the 80th cart there weren't many Mercs left.

Occasionally we reached some sort of checkpoint where a large group of mercs would be waiting, but a quick smite from Ava tended to cut that number down dramatically, and Nick's magical armor was terrifyingly efficient, everything was connected through thought and a protection VI, anytime my Mattock had to cool one of my shoulder guns would pick up the slack, I wasn't not shooting something at any given time. I was a walking tank, with two gunners on my shoulders covering my blind sides.

"We got a problem," Ava spoke up. The door leading to the back carts was shielded.

"I can see the shield, is that normal?" Nick pointed out.

"Those are some powerful shields," Kasumi answered. "There must be a generator behind the door."

Sky tapped the shield with her finger, checking its strength, before unleashing a terrifying right hook shaking the train a little, but the shield held, "Tough."

"Does it go all the way around?" Jak asked.

"Doubtful," Mordin answered, "Powerful shield. Uses a lot of energy. would need multiple generators to cover the back half of the train. Generators will get hot."

"We've seen the rest of the train, money isn't an issue for Nassana," Ava pointed out, "If she wanted the cover her cart with shields, where would she put the generators to keep cool?"

"Outside, air would keep the train cool. minimum armor, would need the generators to take in air," Mordin explained.

"Okay ~," Nick nodded slowly, "so we make a small opening, shoot the generators, and the shields drop, seems straightforward."

"Where are the generators?" Jak asked, stumping Nick.

"Uhhh~, outside?" Nick guessed.

"Yeah, but where out-" before Jak asked again the Shield shimmered before going dead.

We just looked at the door for a moment before Sky tapped it again, getting a metal ting, "It's off."

"Kasy?" Nick asked.

Kasumi shrugged, "Don't look at me."

"Do you think the universe is finally showing us some pity?" Nick asked.

"No," everyone said at the same time.

"Most likely Assassin," Mordin answered.

"Nick," I nodded to the door.

He gave me a nod in confirmation and summoned two more mech golems, making them charge the last cart, the panicked screams and gunfire of desperate mercs filled the room.

"... so, what are we doing after this?" Nick asked.

"OH GOD!" one of the mercs screamed.

"Like in the grand scheme of things? We are still hunting the collectors, for the immediate future there is still some stuff we need to do here in Illium," I answered.

"MY LEG!"

"Do you think we might be able to craft my Puma X-8?" he asked.

"SHOOT IT! SHOOOOOOT IT!"

"Puma X-8?" I huffed, "You can't just name something a number higher."

"OH GOD IT JUST RIPPED OFF SATOR'S ARM!"

"Then how does it work?" Nick huffed.

"Mmm, from my understanding, you need at least 20 people to sit around in a room pretending to do work for 3 months and then come up with something 10 minutes before they need to present it to the top brass, and then the Top brass needs to think about it for 3 more months, only to reject it, starting the process all over again. This continues for years taking taxpayer money and only coming to a decision when someone threatens them with a budget cut," I shrugged.

"NO! STEVE! I LOVED YOU STEVE! I LOVE-AHHHHH!"

"We don't have that sort of time! I'ma just call it the Puma X-8," Nick huffed, "What's Anderson going to do? Sue me? I have diplomatic immunity."

"THE GODS HAVE FORSAKEN US!"

"How does that work? Don't you need some kind of embassy?" Kasumi asked.

"I am the embassy," he hissed.

Hold on a second, "Nick, do you know Star Wars?" I asked.

"What? Of course I know Star Wars, Shep, we live in the multiverse, you know gods exist, you don't think the merchant gods have come together to sell things to dimensional travelers like me? I have all kinds of ridiculous things, I have a movie that stars Anderson in a sci-fi horror film about an alien species that assimilates all living things, it's terrifying, and I love it, I think I'm going to send it to Anderson just to freak him out," Nick laughed, "Where did you think I got the Hyperspace design? My people haven't even made it to space. We sort of just skipped to dimensional travel."

"Can you buy something that could destroy the Reapers?" I asked, What the hell, we could just buy something to fix all our problems! Think the God for capitalism!

"Like what? A deathstar?"

"That would be perfect!" I nodded.

"I only need about 19 quadrillion gold pieces, converting that into credits would be~," he did a quick money exchange, "about one sextillion credits," I just gave him a deadpanned look, "What? Isn't the Citadel council a large conglomerate of thousands of different planets?"

"No," I answered.

"Council made of 8 species, with a collection of over 100 planets, some colonies, outposts in others, would take hundreds of years to get that sort of money," Mordin spoke up, "then you would have to convince the council to buy it, impossible."

"Hey~," Jak called out, getting our attention, "the screaming's stopped."

We peeked into the last cart finding over 15 dead or dying guards, 3 golems covered in multicolored blood, and one mentally scared Asari, being held up by said golems, who was staring out into nothing.

"Good job boys~," Nick called out summoning water from his palm, Cleaning the mechs, and dosing Nassana at the same time, causing her to scream, breaking whatever shock she was in. He then put the golems back into his hammerspace.

"Who are you?" Nassana hissed, her body gave off the blue glow of biotic power.

"Hey~," Nick waved at her, "Do you really think that's a good idea? We just killed a train filled with your mooks. Do you really think we can't kill you?" Nick asked.

Nassana's blue glow simmered out, "You would have killed me by now, what do you want? Who sent you?"

"We're not here for you," I answered, my helmet molding away showing my face.

"Shepard? but you're dead," she muttered in shock.

"I got better."

"Is this about tricking you?" she whispered in disbelief, I would also find it crazy to hold a grudge over something I didn't mind.

I shook my head, "I keep telling you people that I don't care about that, I'm happy to kill slaving scum any day of the week, I mean you're not a good person, I've seen what you've done to your workers, so I won't shed any tears at your death."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE!?" she screamed, her biotics flaring up again.

With her attention solely focused on us, she didn't notice Thane slowly rise behind her as if he spawned out of her shadow, rising to his full high towering over her. He didn't make a show of it, didn't drag it out, or say some witty one-liners, he just reached out and snapped her neck before she even knew what happened, he even gently lowered her to the ground.

He bowed his head clapping his hands together in a form of prayer, just for a moment the world warped around him, it wasn't biotics, none of the tell-tell signs were there, but I had seen it before, plenty of time even.

"Gods~," Ava answered, her poker face now visible as her helmet retracted. She tapped her eyes, I funneled holy energy into my eyes, behind Thane was a naked ethereal glowing Drell woman hugging him close, one hand on his chest and another on his cheek. Another male Drell who was wearing some kind of tribal hunting outfit and spear in hand was standing over Nassana, and one more female Drell standing not a foot away from Nick wearing mom jeans and a loose T-shirt that said 'Thanks for not swallowing us, Happy mother's day', trying to get his attention but Nick was having none of it, his eyes were shut, and he had his hands over his ears.

hearing snickering, I turned to Ava, I found a woman with hair made of stars with glowing horns. She was the first God I have ever seen, Andruil, leaning on Ava's shoulder like they were old friends, laughing at the Drell woman trying to get Nick's attention. The Drell god turned to us with a look that said, 'I was up to here with your nonsense'. I made the mistake of flinching, catching her attention, she eyeballed me, before taking a step towards me only to vanish.

"Thank you for letting me pray," Thane spoke out getting my attention, the other Drell were also gone. Thane's soul was... strange, it looked like a flame trapped within a display box, meant to be seen, not touched.

I released my magic, "I've seen what Nassana does to her workers, to her own family, I'm not sure her goddess is going to be kind to her."

He gave a small sigh, "The prayer was not for her. For me. The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone, take you for instance, all this... destruction... this... chaos. I was curious to see how far you go to find me, well... here I am." he was remarkably calm for a man who just snapped the neck of an angry Asari like it was a Kit Kat bar.

I raised my eyebrow at him, "I do want to talk to you, but how did you know I was here?" I asked.

He gave me a long look. "There was, a lot of gunfire and explosions, I prefer to work quietly, if I have to fight through guards I've made a mistake, and I rarely make mistakes. You disrupted my plan, but your distraction eventually proved valuable." Huh~, would you look at that, Nick was right.

"Right~," I sighed, "let's cut to the chase, I need you for a mission."

"Indeed~." I'm not 100% on Drell mannerisms, but that sounds a lot like sarcasm.

"Are you familiar with the collectors?" I asked.

He shrugged, "By reputation, not many are eager to meet the boogeymen of the galaxy."

"They're abducting entire human colonies, Freedom's progress, Horizon, Fehl Prime. their handiwork," I continued, laying out the truth.

He gave a hum, "I see."

"And we're going after them."

That caught his attention, "Attacking the collectors would require passing through the Omega 4 relay, no ship has ever returned from doing so," he warned, the idea that anyone had the quad to do so seemed to throw him for a loop.

I scoffed, "They told me it was impossible to get to Ilos too."

He gave me a small respectful shrug, "A fair point, you built a career on performing the impossible..." he took a deep breath looking out of the huge bulletproof window that showed the city outside, "This was to be my last job, I'm dying. Low survival odds don't concern me, the abduction of your colonists does."

What!? "You're dying? Do you need help? I have someone in my crew that can-"

He raised his hand to stop me, "If you're interested, we could discuss it on your ship, The problem isn't contagious, and it won't affect my work. giving me this opportunity is-"

"WHAT!?" Nick interrupted, his eyes shut, and ears covered. "IS HE DONE PRAYING!?" Ava patted him on the shoulder, getting him to look around the room. "Oh, they're gone, good. THANE!" Nick cheered like he was greeting an old friend, "Damn bud, you're not looking very cash money right now~. You want me to do something about that Kepral's Syndrome?"

He squinted his eyes at Nick, "Do I know you?"

"Names Nick Walters, the guy your wife said not to worry about, beloved by Quarians, and... Multimillionaire?" He looked over at me, I just shrugged. Technically yeah, we're multi-millionaires... what a weird thing to think about, most of the time my bank account fluctuates between having a large amount of money and being flat broke. This is a nice change of pace~.

"... the same Nick Walters that burned down an entire government, the man worth 3 million Credits?" Thane drawled.

"That is capital 'N', Nonsense!" Nick huffed, "My bounty should be way higher!" Great, this again~.

"Nick, you got to let that go~," Jacob sighed.

"NEVER! You can't just say I destroyed a government and then slap me with a tiny reward, it's gonna make every two-bit good for nothing think they have a chance," Nick growled.

"3 million isn't tiny," Kasumi corrected.

"I'm going to send a strongly written letter to whoever made that bounty," Nick huffed, "But that's for another time, Thane come over here so I can cure you," he sighed, clearly still annoyed at his bounty, waving Thane over.

"I've been to many Doctors, Mr. Walters, they made it very clear that my disease wasn't going away anytime soon, and I've made peace with that."

"That's nice, but I haven't made peace with anyone! Especially no God damn disease! So come over here and accept your healing and another 50 years of life, so you can suffer with the rest of us!" Nick ordered, sticking his hand for Thane to shake.

Thane just looked questioningly at me, no doubt second-guessing his decision to come along with us, I just shrugged. Looking back to Nick, he reached out and shook his hand. It took a second but like always a bright light flooded the room, this time my armor was ready, morphing back my helmet, blocking the light.

"Oof, you had some serious arthritis, do you do anything other but pull triggers?" Nick joked, patting him on the shoulder, "I'll give you a book on breathing exercises-"

Nick continued talking but Thane was a million miles away, just taking in deep breaths like it was the most amazing thing in the world.

Nick dusted off his hands, "Alright~, let's loot the place and get out of here."

I gave the room a once over, "everything is covered in blood."

"It's called magic, John~," he sighed, stuffing what seemed like a wall safe into his Hammerspace, much to Thane's shock.

This time the look he gave me was clearly confused, "Who are you people?"

-/-

A/N: Thane in the house!

I had like four different locations for this mission, the train, duh, a space station, the tower, and a mad hunt in a public place where everyone is trying to take each other out without causing a scene.

I chose the train, mostly because that's something I would have used if I was rich and a legendary master assassin was hunting me.

Now I get to think about Loyalty missions, the collector ship, the reaper corpse, and legion.

I already have some ideas bouncing around in my head

As always sorry for any grammar mistakes

Review if ya want, or don't, no one is making you, the fact that you read this is amazing enough for me.

I also have a DeviantArt page link in my Bio.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

All the pieces are on the board

-/-

Zura'Nul POV

"Why is this shirt so long?" I asked, twisting around, watching the shirt flitter around me, it was thin and reached my shins, it even came with a cute little hat~, all in my clan's markings.

"It's called a nightshirt," Ms. Dagna answered, wearing her own shirt.

"It feels extremely liberating," Ms. Ayla giggled playing with her own nightshirt, "It even has a nice breeze." Ms. Ayla and Ms. Dagna were kind enough to join me in my new modeling career, something about doing it as a group making it easier.

"Alright ladies!" Ms. Julee came into our changing room, which was located in her private room on the third level inside Nick's expanded living room... living broom closet? What do you call a broom closet that is magically expanded to fit an entire stadium, other than a Quarian's wet dream? "I hope the nightshirts are to your liking~," she passed us a questionnaire, "because for the next 4 hours you'll be wearing them, testing them, and using them, please complete the questionnaire by 12, now, off with you~," she shooed us away, "Show the galaxy my brilliance!"

Walking into Nick's living room, we spotted Ms. Kasumi, using a stethoscope as she slowly turned the Vault's combination lock, with Ms. Sky and Ms. Astral watching her very closely.

"Come on~," Ms. Dagna led us quietly out of the room, "She's been preparing for this day for over a week," she answered as we walked out into the crew quarters heading for the kitchen, our first test was eating breakfast.

"It's about time~," Nick called out eating his cereal, also wearing a nightshirt.

"ho-ho~! Isn't someone dressed for bed~," Ms. Ayla teased. Nick gave us a flex; well, he tried, the nightshirt was a bit too big, making him look a little small. "So," Ms. Ayla took the left seat next to Nick as Ms. Dagna and I sat across from him, "I see you have your own night shirt~, couldn't get someone else to dress up?"

Nick shrugged, "How do you know I didn't just want to make Zura comfortable in her new job?"

"Cuz, you like to walk around shirtless in the morning~," Dagna teased. To be fair I also don't like wearing anything in the morning, being free of my suit is an amazing thing, the smells, the textures, the wind, the carpeted floor in my room, showers! Tali'Zorah and Lia'Vael had to drag me out of the warm shower the first time, I didn't know it at the time, but I got rather violent and ended up kicking Tali'Zorah by accident, Keelah I was so embarrassed.

"My shirtless body isn't for these chumps~," Nick joked, jutting his thumb at the rest of the kitchen, before smirking down at Dagna, "That's only for you, ya miscreants~," he gave a growl that sent shivers up my spine, and he wasn't even aiming at me.

"And every unsuspecting guest you might have~," Ms. Telsa groaned, taking the right seat next to Nick holding a cup of coffee, at least that's what I think it was, the smell was familiar, I kinda like it, but to be fair you can't not like it on a working ship. Ms. Telsa liked her coffee black; I enjoyed mine with more sugar and milk, it tends to leave me a bit jumpy and tingly, but I'll be darned if it didn't wake me up.

Nick swallowed her in a hug, "Oh~, my poor Telsa!" Ms. Telsa didn't show any emotion, just sipped her coffee. "I'm sorry you had to see that~."

Ms. Telsa just rolled her eyes, "I've seen you naked before," she huffed, causing Nick to pull back like he was burned.

"What? When!?" he asked, covering his body like a young maiden.

"You weren't very sneaky last year during my mandatory vacation," she pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure I was wearing trunks the whole time~," he huffed, giving her an amused smirk.

"Not when you went skinny dipping in the mountain hot springs at night~."

Nick actually took a moment to think about that, "No~, I mean yes, my ladies and I went skinny dipping, but I was sure we were alone."

"Nope, I was in the spring next to yours, and let's just say the bushes blocking us weren't very thick," Telsa smirked, as blush dusted his cheeks. "If it helps, you were very distracted at the time~. From what I understand not many men can pleasure that many women so thoroughly."

Nick was hiding his face behind his arms at this point, trying to turn invisible, but didn't have the concentration, "P-please stop~," he whimpered, I could practically feel the heat coming off his face.

"Why? are you embarrassed?" Ms. Telsa huffed, "From what I understand, a man like yourself is considered very valuable, I would pay top gold to hire you for the night."

"Telsa!" Nick hissed, face the color of a tomato. Nick tried to escape but a smirking Ayla was blocking his exit. "Mmm, Ayla, sweetheart, can I get passed you~." I have never seen him this sheepish, and I've seen him bend in ways Fornax would be very interested in.

Ms. Ayla reached out and cupped his cheek with her left hand, rubbing his eyebrow with her thumb, "I've seen you stare down ogres, heal the sick for free, yell at kings and queens, flip off gods," who the hell is Nick Walters? "But I find this look the most beautiful, so... raw~."

"Ayla~," he whined, covering his face.

Ms. Ayla tapped her lips, Nick didn't hesitate, and gave her a kiss I've only seen in my late-night extranet searches, before getting out of Nicks way, who quickly ran off, still red faced. Ms. Ayla watched him leave the whole way, when she turned back to us, she had the biggest dopiest smile I have ever seen.

"You're the worst~," Ms. Dagna muttered, eating the rest of Nick's cereal.

"I'll apologize later~, I just~," she hugged herself shivering in delight, "Having Nick at my mercy~. I bet this is what Jak feels like all the time~," she giggled madly to herself.

"And Sereda once called you a holy maiden~," Ms. Dagna muttered, "You're as thirsty as they come."

"Is it my fault that all the people I love are tall drinks of water," Ms. Ayla huffed, "so I take a sip here and there, what's so wrong with that~, you don't complain, in fact you were rather happy last night~."

Ms. Dagna gave a huff, "I sometimes overflow, and need someone to take a chug, but you know how Nick gets when we talk about it in public, or at least where he can hear it."

"I never found Nick to be the shy type," Ms. Telsa hummed.

Ms. Dagna scoffed, "Most men don't talk about their sex life, and if they do, they don't go into detail, unless their creeps, the main reason Nick acted like that was the fact that he can't take a compliment. Well, he can't take compliments from the people he loves, he gets all flustered and sheepish. He tries to play down his accomplishments." Ms. Dagna shook her head, "I fell in love with a weirdo~… oh no~, I fell in love with a bunch of weirdos. My father warned me about this. 'Stay in the forge' he said, 'No weirdos to fall in love with in there' he said. I literally walk outside the forge for 30 seconds to get water and run right into a huge human with hulking muscles~, and glowing eyes~, and magic~, and a smile that made me weak in the knees~," she gave out a long groan, before tsking and smirking, "Baa~, What does my dad know~, he met my mom in the forge and she was crazy!" she laughed.

"YEAH!" Ms. Ayla cheered, "TO US WEIRDOS!"

"Huzzah!" Ms. Dagna joined; Ms. Telsa didn't say anything but did raise her cup in solidarity. They all turned to me... am I also a weirdo?

"Umm, yay~," I whispered. Before Ms. Dagna brought me into a side hug cheering our madness.

Now that I think about it... My mother told me not to follow a bunch of crazies into their ship... I'm sorry mom, your daughter has become a weirdo~.

-/-

Shepard POV

Exiting the elevator on level 3, I was greeted with Dogmeat and Pancake.

"Right good mornin' fellow mucker," Pancake barked. "Me man and I are gahn for a walk, so give it a go and not ter burn the ship ter the chuffin' ground wen we ain't 'ere, we know 'ow yer 'umans 'ave barney Rubble messing wiv fire."

"Umm," I caught like six of those words.

"Meat!" Dogmeat barked, tail wagging, see, him I can understand.

"yer got ter luv the daft ones, right chief? all the bloomin' muscle and all they need is a wee lovin' and they do wotever yer want~," Pancake barked, I think I need a new translator.

"Meat!" Dogmeat rubbed his head on Pancake's face licking her.

"FINE, guv! we'll cop Princess too, right, she's been copping chunky lazin' 'round that castle, put the mockers on lickin' me yer goof," she growled nipping at his ears, he nipped her back, "don't yer give it a go mister, guv! 6 pups was enough for me for a long wile, give it a go wiv Princess, she might act 'igh and mighty but she's like play wiv the bleedin' 'lesser folk'."

"Meat!"

"I don't care 'ow sexy yor voice is~, yor not gonna cop more pups into me! Blimey!"

"Meat~."

"On yor 'ead be the chuffin' consequences yer smooth bastard," she growled, Dogmeat just barked and danced around, she huffed and looked at me, "I'm bloody well tellin' yer, if yer give yor poofs an inch, right, they will 'ave a mile." Dogmeat huffed licking her ear, "'old yor 'orse, right, I'm bloody well comin'! I swear, did yer forget 'ow much barney Rubble it were the bloomin' first time! Oi!, isit? Princess is gonna kill yer, and probably me as well for bendin' ter yor wims so quickly." she huffed walking into Nick's room.

Yep, I didn't catch any of that~. Anderson might have, he tends to get a bit of a cockney accent when he gets angry. Two seconds later I watched an embarrassed Nick in a night shirt, scurrying into his room. I'm going to figure out what happened there... Later, I need to see how Thane is handling his new lease on life.

After a quick knock and permission, the first thing to greet me walking into life support was the dry heat, the ship was at a normal, if slightly cool, 70 degrees, Thane's new room was like walking out of an air-conditioned car into the dry desert of Tuchanka. My new outfit Nick gave me cooled me down to a reasonable level, Maker~, how did I live without magic?

"Thane?" I called out, Thane's new room was on the large side, and the floor was wood, except for a corner that was designated as a small gym with weights, a punching bag, and even a wooden dummy. One of the walls was filled with dozens of weapons from swords to pistols to... a large wooden club?

"Shepard," Thane answered. He was looking out his window to the Engine core.

"How are you settling on the Normandy? No one's been giving you any trouble?" I don't think I've ever talked to a Drell before, I don't think I've ever seen one, other than the one on that Spanish soap opera that Liara and Ash got hooked on, and in some of my N7 briefings.

He turned and gave me a bow before leading me to some chairs, "No, everyone's been very kind, at least to my face."

I gave a shrug, "I suppose insulting a legendary assassin to the face would be considered a bad life move," I joked.

"If I was 20 years younger maybe, but at my age most insults do very little."

"I... don't know much about Drell, I hope you don't mind if I ask you some questions?"

Thane nodded, "Understandable, the Drell people don't leave Kahje."

"Kahje? Isn't that the Hanar home world?" I asked.

"Indeed, my people lived on the dry and rocky desert planet of Rakhana, the planet didn't have a lot of resources to begin with, so when we hit the population limit, everything began to decline, quickly, it was only thanks to the kindness of the Hanar people that any of us are still alive. 200 years ago, the Hanar, seeing where the Drell people were heading, sent hundreds of ships to get people off world, but in the end, could only save just over 375,000 of my people before war broke out. Our number has just passed the two millionth mark, The Hanar have petitioned on our behalf to colonize a planet of our own, but you know the council."

"Bureaucracy ~," I answered, he just nodded. "How is the room?"

"Good, everything from the temperature to the private bathroom is beyond anything I could have asked for. Nickolas did ask me to do something in return," he reached into a locker pulling out a sign that said, 'Praying, come back later'. "Any time I pray, for me to put this sign up on the door. Does he have a problem with religion?"

"Mmm, no, but yes. Nick should have given you the basic understanding of magic, yes?" he nodded, "Right, so, one school of magic revolves around Divine worship, where a higher being gives you power for your worship and to spread their will." I summoned my holy pistol, catching his attention, as I placed it on the table between us. He pointed to it, asking permission, I nodded. He was able to lift it a few inches before it phased through his fingers falling back to the table.

He blinked, "Mmm," rubbing his fingers making sure they were solid, "Interesting, but this doesn't explain Nickolas's actions."

"Nick, according to everyone who knows him, is a lightning rod for the gods. I've seen it on Tuchanka, as the Krogan God Vaul the Protector pulled out his soul for a private conversation, he didn't tell me what happened, but I could tell Vaul wasn't gentle. I've even seen your gods, back on the train, when you were praying, a female Drell was holding you close, trying to give you comfort, there was a male Drell with a spear looking over Nassana's corpse, and one last female Drell dressed in mom jeans and a shirt my mother would wear to embarrass me, trying to get Nick's attention, she looked seconds away from clocking him into next week."

"Kalahira, Goddess of Oceans and Afterlife; Amonkira, Lord of Hunters; and Arashu, Goddess of Motherhood and Protection." I felt my very soul vibrate from their names alone. "They watch over me? I... hoped they did, but... I've done a lot of bad things Shepard... I've hurt people, good people, innocent people. For them to still watch over me..."

I stood up and put my hand on his shoulder to provide some comfort, "We aren't perfect Thane, we've all made mistakes, done things we aren't proud of, but that doesn't mean we give up," I patted him on the shoulder, "You're part of the Normandy now Thane, and we look out for one another. Never hesitate to ask for help."

"I MADE A THREE FINGER GUITAR!" Nick called out barging through the door without knocking holding up two guitars. I see he's better~. "Shepard!" he cheered "I'm teaching Thane how to use the guitar~, wanna join?"

"Do you know how to play a guitar?" I asked.

"Not really, but Slash does~," A man manifested wearing a pipe hat, black sunglasses, wild curly hair, and a look that could only be described as, 'Yeah, I'm a Rockstar, so what~?'. The illusion didn't say anything other than nod at me.

"I'm here!" Jacob called out holding his own guitar, "Holy shit it's Slash from Guns 'N Roses!" he jumped like a child, this grown man who I've seen crush mechs with his mind was jumping like Christmas came early.

"MMM~?" Nick waved a guitar in my face.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Give me the damn guitar~," I muttered taking the acoustic instrument from Nick.

"Let's Rock!" Slash ordered.

2 hours of practice, jokes, learning to hold a guitar, and doing rock star poses, finally ended with us learning the 'C' chord.

One step closer to my rock star career~.

-/-

Nick POV

"... so, if a ninja master confronts you head-on. That means other ninjas are going to attack you from the sides and from behind. A ninja master never confronts you unless they themselves are the distraction~." I pointed to my notes and pictures on the blackboard. At the moment, I was in the makeshift classroom in the Shuttle Bay teaching some of the ship and ground crew important life lessons.

"It's true," Thane nods.

"Nick, this is interesting and all, but why are you teaching us this?" Joker asked.

"Because out of all of us, you're the only one who hasn't been ambushed by a group of assassins~," I pointed out.

"Wha? Of course I haven't been attacked by a group of assassins! I'm a pilot!" he huffed.

I just shook my head at him, "That just means you're due for an ambush any day now."

"Yeah, well, I won't hold my breath~."

"And that's how you get poisoned~," I pointed out, "Were you not listening to my lecture at all!?"

EDI reached over and held Joker's hand in worry, "Jeff, you're not going to be poisoned, right?"

Joker just groaned, "NO~! I'm not going to be poisoned, I'm not going to be ambushed, I'm not going to be swooped upon!"

"You promise?" EDI gave him a puppy dog look.

"Yes~, EDI, I promise, I'm not going to put myself in a position to get ambushed," he sighed, patting her hand, causing her to smile.

"Oh yeah, he's going to be ambushed~," Kasumi teased.

"Shut up~! Nick, can't we learn anything cool today?" Joker huffed.

"Joker if you read your syllabus, you should know we are going over Ninjas, Assassins, and Rogues today," I huffed.

"Yeah, but I thought it would be a lot cooler than an hour lecture!"

"Joker, what you learn today might save you tomorrow! What was rule one on walking into a new room?"

"I don't know~! I wasn't paying attention." he huffed, putting his feet on his desk and leaning back. Lia raised her hand.

"Yes, Lia?" I called out.

"Rule one: always look up!" Lia answered.

"Correct!" Suddenly a dart came from the ceiling, landing on Joker's foot. Causing everyone to just look at it. Before looking up to see Nat and Ava in Ninja outfits.

"What the fuuugrag~," Joker slurred, before falling asleep.

"JEFF!" EDI panicked.

"Assassins!" I screamed, getting everyone to jump out of their desks, scrambling for cover, "Remember what I taught you!" They did a piss poor job, sure most of the ground crew did okay but the rest of the ship crew were either panicking or asleep. "Come on you guys! Duck and weave! Don't say in one spot!" It was sad, it took another minute, but it finally came to an end. "Shepard, I give the crew an F in surprise attacks~," I drawled.

John tsked, "I thought they would do better than that."

"MAnfub!?" a drowsy Joker slurred, flopping awake.

"Commander? You planned for Nick to ambush us?" EDI asked, unlike everyone else she was tied up in an electrical rope that would shock her if she tried to escape, nothing serious but enough to keep her in place.

"Mmm?" Shepard looked down at EDI, "Of course, the crew has been getting a bit too relaxed, we're fighting Reapers and collectors that can appear out of nowhere and they were able to catch the original Normandy on the back foot, The crew must be ready for anything, whether it's Ninjas or giant space abominations. So, at random times I'll be setting up scenarios in which the crew must come together and survive without me or the ground crew. Everyone is part of this suicide mission, so I want them ready for anything. Nick, if you would please~."

I cast Group Heal, a little spell Wynne taught me, it wasn't as powerful as my Healing Hands and couldn't cure ailments outright, but it healed multiple people at once and reduced time effects.

"You suck~!" Joker flopped; it seemed like he got his voice back. He tried to get up only to fumble, landing on EDI's boobs. "MMM! MMm MMmm MMmmm!"

"Ah~! J-Jeff! Wait! Your voice! Nnn! The contract! Y-you need to follow the contract!" EDI moaned.

"MMMM! MMM! MMM!" Joker panicked, making it worse.

"How much you wanna bet he did that on purpose?" Kasumi smirked.

I crossed my arms, "Mmm~, I don't know, Joker's willing to do a lot of things~, steal the Normandy, fly into Geth strongholds, hang up on the council, but to motorboat his wife in front of the crew~? That's pushing it."

"Mmm! MmMm Mmm mmMM!" he started flapping like a fish.

"JEEEFFFFF~!" EDI moaned, causing her to strain against the rope giving her light shocks

Surprisingly it was Miranda who came to Joker's rescue, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"

Joker gasped for breath, "T-THANK... Y-YOU! COULDN'T BREATHE... DYING!"

"Joker... you were between your wife's bazoombas for less than 10 seconds," I pointed out, "Which is pretty impressive, it took me many months of hard work to do what you did in mere moments, I guess natural talent beat hard work any day," I teased.

"I saw my life flash before my eyes!" he countered.

"Again, 10 seconds and you didn't stop motorboating at any one of those seconds~," I drawled.

"And I learned something!" Joker declared.

"Oh, you're ignoring me~."

"I can't live like this!" he finally got the floor under him, "No more waiting, no more thinking, no more second guessing!"

"Oh snap~," Kasumi muttered next to me.

"Jeff~," EDI whispered. Joker looked like a man on a mission, leaning down and giving EDI a deep passionate kiss.

"I LIKE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!" he screamed right to her face, catching us all off guard.

"I, um, I, I LIKE HOW YOU PRESS MY BUTTONS!" she yelled back. Both their faces beat red.

"I LIKE YOUR LAUGH!" Joker.

"I LIKE YOUR SMIRK!" EDI.

"I LIKE YOUR LIPS!" Joker.

"This is... a loud confession~," I muttered to Kasumi, as the love birds yell their likes at each other.

"It's beautiful~," she wiped away a fake tear.

"Yes~, very lovely, but we got the space for the Puma X-8," Tali huffed.

I passed her a bucket of water, "Go on, get them out of here." Tali didn't hesitate, dumping the water on their heads causing them to jolt in shock.

"How are you so warm~?" Joker asked.

"I wanted My body to be the perfect temperature, in case we ever ended up in a dangerous world," EDI gasped, before Joker kissed her again, it wasn't a kiss in the rain, but they did their best.

"Thane? Are Ninjas... Aphrodisiacs?" I asked.

He took a moment to think about it, giving me a thousand-yard stare, "she smirked, 'Look at you, a master assassin, and yet I bend you to my whims,' she whispered, holding me close, her hands, soft, but her words, rough... Yeah, ninjas tend to be aphrodisiacs."

We just looked at him... "Well, I learned something new about you today~," I drawled, before turning to the new couple, "Alright, there is a time and place~," I used Create Water to flood them out of the room and towards the dock, it... didn't stop them, but that wasn't my goal, I just wanted the space. Let them get frisky out in public. "Alright you grease monkeys, let's get to work!"

-/-

Lia'Vael POV

Ugh~, everything hurts... my brain was thumping. Someone... anyone... please put me out of my misery. We celebrated too hard last night, and drank too much... where am I? Peeking out into the world I found... clothes? As my headache slowly faded, thank you magic and chi. I found myself surrounded by clothes. Am I in a closet? Looking around I found that this wasn't a normal closet, it was humongous! With a large open area with a large mannequin on a platform in the dead center, thousands of outfits and clothes lined the circular room, there was even a second level!

As my mind slowly came back to me, flashes of last night began bombarding my prefrontal cortex.

-/-

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" the crowd cheered.

I slammed my mug of beer on the table. "AHHHH~!" I always wondered why people wasted their money on alcohol, I kinda get it now. As the bar cheered and celebrated, I couldn't help but join in. 4 days of hard work would do that to someone.

The Puma X-8 was finally finished, it had Steel-Badassium armor alloy infused with magic that was made into a weave that coated the ship before we added some of the remaining Silaris Armor as an outer shell. The inside was magically expanded to the point where a crew of ten could live comfortably, with a living room, three bathrooms, a kitchen, individual rooms, and an engine room with an arc reactor as the main battery, We removed the Eezo engine drive and replaced it with a simple Eezo core, to help remove the weight of the ship, but weak enough that it wouldn't be able to go FTL, and finally the piece of resistance~, the hyperdrive engine. We were extremely cautious when we installed it, in fact, we weren't even there, Nick had a golem do the job as we used cameras to see it live. It was possibly the most nerve-wracking thing I have ever done, but it was all worth it as EDI gave us the green light after  running  some tests.

This led to a small party for the engineering crew, which kinda grew out of control. At first, it was just Joker happy to see the fighter ready for testing, followed by Grunt who heard the noise, Kasumi joined which wasn't too surprising with her room being on the bar's second floor. Then the Dayshift got off work, and... well...

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" everyone cheered as Grunt drank straight from the keg.

"Having fun~," Kasumi called out.

"Kassuuumiii~," I cheered.

"Hehehe~, a bit of a lightweight huh~?" Kasumi giggled.

"PSH! Me!? Pah-lease~, I, am the best at alcohol," I renounced. She looked over at Tali'Zorah who was cheering on top of a table chugging two beers at the same time.

"Mmm, I'll take your word for it. so, are you having fun?" she asked.

"Mmm, yeah~, humans seem to love to party~."

Kasumi shrugged, "Most of us only live for a hundred years, we can't not have fun, all work and no play tends to make people go crazy, are there no parties on the Migrant Fleet?"

I shrugged, "Yeah, but nothing like this~, we have ceremonies and some holidays, but they tend to be mild, no alcohol ,  we can't get impaired cuz you never know when you have to get to work, or roughhousing because we can damage our suit, and any dancing usually ends up against someone else because of the space."

"Mmm, that does sound rather tough~... hey you wanna do a human tradition with me?"

I  blinked  at her, "A... tradition?"

She grew a mischievous smirk, "I do it every time I'm invited to a party at someone's home~."

-/-

I slowly looked down... at my naked body... except for one piece of clothing... Nick's underwear. "A panty raid~," I muttered, every bad decision I have ever made has come back to haunt me, never again will I drink alcohol! I swear it!

You know what? it's okay~, no one has seen me, all I have to do is sneak out the same way I snuck in... How the hell did I get in here!? And where are my clothes!? Everything was a mess, clothes were thrown on the floor like some crazy person ran in here and threw... everything all over the floor... looking for something. I'm a horrible guest~.

One thing at a time~, where is the exit? Looking around I was still in awe at the size of this place, seriously who builds a place this big for clothes? You can fit hundreds of Quarians in here and still have space.

Finding the door didn't take too long, it had a large glowing exit sign overhead. now that I knew where the exit was all I needed was my clothes~. I looked around my immediate area, they couldn't be that far. My search was cut off as the door began to rattle, without thinking I jumped in between the hung clothes, crouching low making sure I wasn't visible.

"Good lord~," Nick's grumpy voice came from the exit, I peeked but I couldn't see him. "This place is a mess~, I swear Julee~, you always get like this when you're making new clothes." He snapped his fingers twice, getting dozens of his Golems to jump out of the walls and rush to his call. "Pick up all the clothes, have them washed and hung up," he ordered. The golems didn't hesitate and got to work.

I watched the little golems run by picking up clothes and running off to an opening in the far end room, it didn't take long for me to spot my black undies and bra being spirited away by a little golem.

Bosh'tet! They won't mind if I borrow some clothes, right? Zura'Nul is their model, there should be something for Quarians, right?

"Take this with you," Nick called out, a golem came running by with a towel, Nick finally came into view not long after... naked... so very naked. His hair was still wet, I'm guessing he just came out of the bath. I shouldn't look, it is wrong and a violation of his privacy. I shouldn't look at his body or his muscles, or his butt... or... anything else. I'm a terrible person.

I always thought warriors had scars, but Nick was spotless, he had a few moles that if you squinted made the constellation for The Traveler on his back... but I wouldn't know because I wasn't looking... oh who am I kidding, I was looking, I'm a hot-blooded woman, I know it's wrong~, but, come on~, I've seen him in skin tight short shorts, I've seen plenty~.

"What am I wearing today~," he reached the center of the room, the mannequin changed into a hologram of Nick. "It's Wednesday so we don't have anything going on, so I'll just go with something casual in case of a surprise date~." A plain white t-shirt, jeans, and workout shoes appeared on the hologram. "Make it so~."

Beams of light shot from the hologram into the room grabbing the clothing from the room and bringing it to Nick, it would have been better if one of those articles of clothing wasn't the underwear I was wearing. I felt my hips begin to be pulled toward the center of the room, not giving it a second thought, I removed the last piece of clothing I had, leaving me completely nude. I watched the clothes fly to the center where Nick put them on in less than a blink.

"Alright~, time to start the day~," he cheered walking out of the room, leaving me to my lonesome. "Love you~!" I blinked, who?

"Love you too~," A voice I could have mistaken for a predator called back overhead. Looking up I spotted a smirking Julee, I didn't hear her walk in. Her glowing sulfur eyes stared down at me, before licking her lips, "You know~," her voice sent every hair on my body to stand at attention, "I could use another model~."

My mouth was so dry I couldn't say anything, so I just nodded, her smile seemed to grow from horn to horn.

I need a drink.

-/-

Nick POV

I shook my head, "How did we get to this point~?" I drawled, looking down at a groaning Tali.

"Ugh!" she gagged, "Please kill me~," she moaned.

"Where did you even get the suntan lotion?" Shepard asked.

"How did you even get up here?" Garrus asked.

At the moment Shepard, Garrus, and I were looking down at the poor Quarian woman who got sloshed, spanked both Maranda's and Jenny's asses, stole someone's suntan lotion, and somehow got on top of the Normandy so she could get a tan.

"Is that Jenny's bikini top?" I asked, Jenny's not a woman known to share. We were lucky she was wearing her gym shorts.

"HEY, IS THAT IDIOT UP THERE!?" I looked down to find Jenny, boobies out for the world to see.

"PUT ON A SHIRT!" I yelled back, "YOU EXHIBITIONIST!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Ugh~, please stop~, Why are you killing me~, I thought we were friends," Tali groaned.

"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN! TALI HAS A BAD HANGOVER!" I yelled at Jenny.

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! THAT GRAB ASS TOOK MY TOP!" Jenny took a look around, "HOW DID SHE GET UP THERE!?"

"WE DON'T KNOW!"

"I hate you; I hate you both," she groaned.

"Nick, can you heal her?" John asked.

I shrugged, "I could, but should I? This could be a learning experience; she almost got a tattoo last night... You did stop her from getting that tattoo right?" I asked Shepard.

"... uh," John looked over to Garrus.

"Don't look at me, Kelly was getting handsy," Garrus shrugged, before he looked at me.

"Don't look at me, I was keeping Zura from fighting Grunt over a mango." Quarians cannot handle their alcohol.

"..." we looked at each other, then looked back at a groaning Tali, "It... doesn't look like she got a tattoo~," I shrugged. Tali took that moment to roll over and dry heave, showing off her... epic tattoo, "Ooh, spoke too soon~."

"Oh boy~," Shepard sighed.

"She can't blame us for this right?" Garrus asked.

"Where did she even get it?" I asked.

.

.

.

"Jenny~," we all answered at the same time.

Tali's tattoo was everything I thought it would be, taking up most of her back was a phoenix made of rainbows, flying out the eyehole of a human skull, being held in the mouth of a thresher maw, with a naked woman holding a sword on its back. It continued below her shorts, but I didn't go any lower.

"How did she do it so fast? A tattoo this big takes days, and it's colored," I asked.

"It's more than likely just an Omni-tattoo," Garrus pointed out, "it's something the younger crowd does, getting to look 'cool' without worrying about the long-term problems."

"Garrus... you're 27~," John drawled, "you are, part of the younger crowd~."

"You know what I'm talking about! Normal people~."

"So... it's just a temporary tattoo, just add water and it will wash away?" I asked.

"Uh... hum~, it depends on the paint," Garrus points to his face paint, "This is the good stuff, lasts weeks, and is resistant to water, sweat, and most chemicals. I'm not sure what this tattoo is made of."

"JENNY! WHAT IS TALI'S TATTOO MADE OF!?" I asked, getting another hiss from the hungover Quarian.

"IT'S, hum, SOMETHING CALLED OPIMIUS!" She called back.

"Ooh~, that's not good~," Garrus muttered. "My stuff is good, but that paint's the best~, only high-ranking government officials and their mistresses have the money to buy that stuff."

"That doesn't sound good," I muttered.

"Yeah~, this thing ain't coming off for a few months, maybe a year, tops," Garrus confirmed.

"Looks like she can't play the responsible adult anymore~," John teased.

"Here," I passed him a Cure-all potion, I wasn't getting anywhere near her, not after all the screaming I'd done, I was confident she'd throw me off the ship in retaliation the moment she had her wits about her.

"Tali~," John called out inching closer, shaking the bottle like she was a cat, "I have something to get rid of your hangover~," She shot her hand up grabbing at the air, John carefully gave her the bottle and backed off, like feeding a crocodile meat. She popped the quark and chugged the potion.

"WOW!?" she cheered jumping to her feet, "Now that's what I'm talking about! You should sell this stuff!" she chugged the rest of the potion.

"I do~," I drawled. "First one is on the house."

"Thanks," she sighed before looking around, "How did I get up here?" We shrugged. She looked at herself, "What am I wearing?"

"You stole Jenny's top," I answered, tossing her a shirt, "You might want to put that on, I doubt Jenny's going to wait until you're decent to take back her top."

"Thanks," she muttered putting on the shirt and removing the bikini top from the inside, "Ugh, why are the strings so small~," she hissed.

"Smaller fingers," I answered, "I'll bring it up with Julee when she is making Quarian swimwear."

"So can anyone tell me what happened last night?" she asked, finally got the top off, tossing it to Jenny below.

"You had a bit too much to drink~," Garrus answered.

"This has happened more than once," John crossed his arms, like an older brother annoyed at their younger sibling doing something stupid, he looked just like Theron with Merrill.

"I... I can't not!" Tali huffed in annoyance, "Everything's so new! And it tastes great, or it smells horrible, or it feels sticky! I want to do it all! You guys take everything for granted! You've drunk alcohol before, you know your limits, do you have any idea how difficult it is to have alcohol in the Migrant Fleet! It's impossible! Only for special ceremonies! Meat!? You got to be joking! CHOCOLATE!?" she gave a shiver, "it's banned altogether! Without my suit, I'm free~." She reached out and pinched John's face, "Your facial hair tickles," she reached over and tapped Garrus's mouth fringe, "And your scales are softer than they look," she ran her hands through my hair, "And even though your hair looks barely put together, it's soft and smooth to the touch. Even I can't get my hair this good!"

"Prestidigitation, and magical conditioner, because I'm worth it~," I teased.

"I can see you're enjoying your new freedom, but you need to temper it," John huffed, "I don't want you to get addicted to something, it's bad enough that you keep trying to martyr yourself, I will get you a babysitter if I have to."

"UGH!" Tali groaned, "John! I am a grown woman! I can-" I flashed a chocolate bar causing her to focus completely on the sweet. She immediately swiped for it, only for her fingers to faze right through the illusion. She froze looking at her empty palm, before turning to us and giving us the fakest smile this side of the galaxy, "... I tripped~?" She tried to shrug innocently.

"Nutrient paste and water, for the rest of the week," John punished.

Tali gasped and clung to John's shirt, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I CAN'T GO BACK TO NUTRIENT PASTE! PLEASE! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" she cried.

John had an unimpressed look, "No, with freedom comes choices, and with choices comes consequences, hopefully you learn a bit of moderation~," he huffed, walking back to the ladder that helped us get up here, Tali slumped to the floor, crying her eyes out.

Garrus rolled his eyes, "Relax, you drama queen~, it's only 5 days. I doubt Nick is going to make anything too crazy, right?" he asked me.

I scratched the back of my neck, "Well~, with the Puma X-8 finished, me and Mordin are going to run tests on the sweets and candy Quarians could eat," I looked at my feet, "We're doing some chocolate tests on Friday." Tali gave the cry of a beached humpback whale.

Garrus winced, "Oof~," he looked back to Tali, "Better luck next time~," he shrugged, following John down the latter.

"Nick~?" Tali whimpered.

"Yes Tali?"

"Will you save me some chocolate?" she asked.

I shrugged, "I'll see what I can do." I patted her on the back causing her to hiss.

"Why did that hurt!?" she asked.

"Mmm, I thought Omni-tattoos were painless?"

"OMNI WHAT!?"

Oh boy~.

-/-

In... out... in... out... I allowed my chi to find the impurities of the metal, bend, mold, shape. I spread my right hand over the bucket of metal puddy, made of 6 different metals, in front of me, but it refused to move, I've been trying to get the skill for Metalbending for some time now, I didn't really need it back in Thedas, most things were made of earth or wood so it didn't make much sense to have it, but here in the Milky Way galaxy everything plus the kitchen sink was made of metal, and earth was hard to come by.

The problem was that controlling Impurities in metal was far harder than I thought. At first, I thought about just buying the skill in the Gamer's store, but it cost over 500 gold, which was bananas! Earthbending only cost 20 gold! I guessed not many knew Metalbending, so it made the skill more valuable, I also didn't take into consideration that it was also a hard skill to learn.

I thought it might have been my mentality, all my life metal was unmoving, unbending, and only pure strength could force it into place, but that was also not true, having taken Art classes in college I learned that a metal hot enough could bend like a sheet of paper. Science taught me that some Metals are soft enough to chew, and some are liquid at room temperature.

I might be overthinking this. Toph was an Earthbending prodigy, trained by badgermoles under the earth, she had the fine skills to pull apart and mold the metal, but I didn't. So, where skills failed, power must overcome, plunging my hand into the slimy puddy, I activated my earthbending. It felt weird, I knew some elements working together created subclass elements, Air and earth made sand, Fire and earth made lava, Fire and air made lightning, but there were also extremes, where someone would master their element to the point where it became something new, combustion, seismic sense, bloodbending, it's all about technique and power.

I had one of those, I started pumping Chi through my muscles, and the sludge started to slowly climb up my hand, my CP was draining out of me like a broken dam, not even my armor could refill my Chi fast enough. It felt like I was trying to slowly lift a non-Newtonian fluid and keep it in one piece, I could feel my muscles strain and sweat pour down my back. In the end, I couldn't do it.

CHI CRASH! Chi locked for 15 minutes!

SECOND WIND! Half your chi has been returned!

I laid flat on the Shuttle Bay floor. Damn, that was uncomfortable~, Mana crashes give you a crippling headache that forces you to rest, Chi Crashes just drop you, your body goes limp, and you become catatonic. It's not something I would want someone to go through. Luckily, I had a perk that returned 50% of my Chi once an hour if I entered a Chi crash.

I'm doing something wrong. It's not power, I have plenty of that, its technique, I think I'm using too many metals, or maybe the putty's the problem, I'm used to solid matter not this liquid form.

"Nickolas?" opening my eyes, I found Thane standing over me.

"Yo~," I nodded to him, "What's going down bud?"

"I wish to learn to heal."

I blinked up at him, "Heal?" I sat up.

"Yes, the only thing I was trained to do was take life, I wish to learn to save it."

I gave him a long look, before shrugging, summoning a redwood Golem, a tome of Healing hand, and a book from the School of Restoration, "The golem will act as your Mana core until you grow your own, the scroll will give you my knowledge of healing hands, and the book has the basic spells for any healer, I have higher level books but you first have to proof that you can do these first." I tapped the book. That's how it worked back home, any healer that wanted to work in Sky City had to take a medical exam, no Healer was going to tell you in medical terms or pronounce a 6-syllable word to describe what's wrong with you, Magic was meant to do the heavy lifting.

I of course didn't want healers to go through a 10-year doctorate degree, nobody had time for that, I just gave them a Tome of Healing hands, a book on Restoration, and their classes were field work with me, or Ayla, or one of the new school healers, this way we can pump out more healers in a shorter time. With my teaching skill at master rank and the ability to make Tomes that gave the basics of a spell, healing hands was a spell every Mage had to know before leaving Hogwarts.

"Mmm, I would immediately know this... spell?" Thane asked, he was still a little iffy on the whole magic thing but didn't make much out of it.

"Just the basics, knowing something doesn't mean you can do it. You are going to need to practice, Usually, I would take you to a hospital or a makeshift medical tent where we would provide free medical services in exchange for some experience, but I wouldn't know where to start here in Ilium, We might have to wait until we hit the Citadel, I could ask David for a few favors, get me into a clinic in need of some help.

Thane watched his new golem morph itself into a bracer. "You would give me this? No questions asked?"

I shrugged, "I usually teach people the basics before they choose a school of magic, but you look like a man who has chosen his path, and I doubt you're a man who enjoys shooting fireballs or lightning. So, I'm not going to hold you back." I shrugged, "Besides, we could always use another healer."

He gave me a nod of appreciation, before looking at the scroll, "So, how does this work?" He unsealed the scroll getting a bright flash of light to the face, but he didn't flinch or blink, just stared at the scroll until it turned into glowing ash and vanished into the wind. He slowly blinked. "Whoa~." he blinked again, lifting his hand as it began to glow gold before he snuffed it out. Taking a few more blinks, he nodded at me.

"I would suggest taking a nap, Healing hands is one of my most used and understood skill, your mind is making sense of it, You might have a few dreams of me healing people, and gaining a bit of insight into wounds and diseases I might have cured, but other than that you should be fine, I've given spells and other knowledge to other races."

Thane gave me a nod and walked off to his room.

Now let's see if I can bend solid metal~.

-/-

Thane POV

I watched Walters play with a sheet of metal as the elevator closed. Looking down at the book in my hands, I found my life taking a strange turn. The book was heavier than I thought it would be, but I suppose gaining another 50 years of life and thinking of ways to spend them can be a bit daunting. How do the Asari do it?

As the door opened, I came face to face with Ms. Lawson, for a moment the world seemed to dull and slow, before glowing spots lit up Lawson and a ghostly Walters appeared next to her.

He pointed to her back, "Symptoms: Back, Neck, and shoulder pain. Cause: large breasts. Short-term Cure: Healing hands starting in the back moving up to neck and shoulders. Long-term cure: Stretching, exercise, and/or breast reduction surgery." he then pointed to the glowing spot on her stomach. He said something but I couldn't understand, it was like he was talking underwater. As he finished talking, he faded, and the world's colors came back to the world. That was... interesting.

"Mr. Krios, I was hoping you had some time to talk?" Lawson asked, her eyes narrowing as she spotted my new bracer.

"I'm sorry Ms. Lawson, Maybe later, Nickolas gave me something to think about and something to read," I patted the book in my hand. She gave the book a long look before nodding and stepping out of the way, allowing me to pass. In turn, she got in the elevator, no doubt to talk with Nickolas.

Walking into the dry warmth of my room, I gave a long sigh, you sometimes don't know what you are missing until you get a taste, I'm just happy the clothes Nickolas gifted me kept me warm. Taking a seat on my bed, I opened my new book.

Restoration spells heal, restore, and fortify the body's attributes and abilities, cure disease, and protect it from other malign influences. The primary spells of this school are healing wounds, curing diseases, and restoring lost vitality, but can also augment strength, endurance, intelligence, agility, and other bodily attributes. Absorption skills are also sometimes considered part of this school, although they may also be classed as Mysticism magic.

Was as far as I got before my eyes got too heavy.

-/-

I was in a village.

Hillcrest.

The name snapped to the forefront of my mind.

'Damn, this place isn't looking good~,' I turned and spotted Nickolas wearing some kind of adventuring outfit, and behind him dozens of what seemed like young adults, all wearing similar uniforms looking like students, "Yo, Mani!" Nickolas called out, getting a young boy with horns no older than 14 to run up next to him. "I need you to get the village leader," he pointed out to an empty plain, "we are going to set up our tents over there." The young boy just grunted and ran into the village as Nickolas turned to the students, "ARE YOU WAITING FOR AN INVITATION!? GET THOSE TENTS UP! THIS VILLAGE HAS COME DOWN WITH A SICKNESS! GET SUITED UP! WE ARE AT GROUND ZERO OF A POTENTIAL PLAGUE!" Nickolas roared, getting the students to scramble. Putting on masks and rushing to put up tents, other adults looking after them and helping with the tents. I could feel Nickolas's annoyance at his students' lack of focus, he'd been grilling them on the fact that they needed to be prepared, and they had no idea what they were going to run into. 4 bears and a pack of wolves later, and he was not impressed. 'A healer should not just be a damsel, they're the only thing keeping people from dying, so I'm going to break and mold them into something respectable.'

"Must you be so dramatic~," Ayla teased, she was also wearing some adventuring clothes. Love, it was such a pure emotion but there was something... off, as if his love was being tempered by an outside influence. 'Oh Ayla, you're too kind sometimes.'

"We can't be soft on these punk kids," Nickolas huffed putting on his own face shield, his outfit changing into something you would see a medical professional would wear in a medical triage. "They are the future, and they can't take things like this lightly, I'm not going to be there to wipe their asses in the future." 'People still fear magic, they need to be ready, whether it be a scared child or a raging dragon, healers tend to be the first to arrive and last ones to leave.'

She patted Nickolas's face, "Let's go save some lives, you drama queen~.'

The world shifted and molded

I was now in the medical tent, the floor was a spotless white, with curtains, beds, and even a waiting area, magic is amazing.

"Halie! What are we looking at?" Nickolas called out making the rounds with some of his students.

"Coughing up blood or mucus, Pain with breathing or coughing, Fever, Chills, Night sweats, pale skin, and Weight loss." a young woman called out. 'Halie was tough, born premature, most thought she would die before her first year, but her magic said otherwise, dreamed of being a healer after her magic kicked in.'

"Those are symptoms, what is the cause~," Nickolas hissed.

"From the symptoms most of the patients display, I conclude that it must be Consumption sir," she answered. 'Consumption, better known as Tuberculosis.' I could feel the hatred he had for the disease and anger at the fact that he wasn't here sooner.

"Correct," Nickolas called out, he pulled back a curtain door showing a young woman hooked up to a saline drip, she looked terrible, it looked like she hadn't eaten in days and was pale as a ghost, every time she breathed a ragged cough would escape her lips, she couldn't breathe without pain. She was glowing from most of her chest and head, I gritted my teeth and balled up my fists. "Pay attention!" Nickolas called out, breaking me from my thoughts, "Consumption can attack any part of the body from, the kidneys," he moved his glowing hands just below the young woman's ribs, the glow that lit up the young woman's kidneys faded away, "the Spine," he gently tilted the woman to her side, slowly tracing his glowing hands up her spine, before placing her gently back on the bed, "The brain," he placed his hands on her head, the woman seemed to relax at his touch, "But more than not you will find it in the lungs and throat." He moved his hands to her throat followed by ribs.

The woman who was glowing like an Omni-blade now looked completely at ease, she was taking large breaths, her eyes fluttered open looking out to the students before looking up at Nick, "You have pretty eyes~."

Nick smiled down at her, "Thank you, get some rest, we'll have some warm soup when you wake up~," the woman just nodded and fell back to sleep. Nick led his students back out to the hallway, "You will be relieving the Evening team making you the Night crew, morning shift will be relieving you at 4 in the morning, get to know who you are replacing and who will replace you, some of you will be finishing up your partners patient tonight, many of them will be confused and tired, your job is to keep them comfortable and answer questions, I will be here making rounds with Ayla, Sereda, Wynne, Ava, and a dozen other Trained healers to help you, so do not hesitate to call us if you need our help." many of the students looked relieved, "Get to your groups, your fellow healers need their rest." He waved them off, causing them to scramble. 'There are about a thousand people in this village, and I have just under 10 trained healers and 60 students, they should all get some practice under their belt.' I could feel the weight of the responsibility land on his shoulders.

The world molded again.

"I can't thank you enough Sir Walters," an elderly man kneeled at Nickolas's feet, Nickolas kneeled and helped the man up, dusting off the dirt the elderly man's clothes collected.

"There is no need to thank me Elder Woods, it's thanks to Mani I knew what was happening here," Nickolas patted the young horned man on the shoulder. "This 10-year-old punk climbed mountains and braved the freezing cold to reach Sky City, I wasn't going to turn him away."

"That would explain why you disappeared Mani. You had us worried young man."

"My people needed me," the young man held his head up high, proud of his actions even if it worried others.

The Elder huffed, "You youngins, giving us older folk heart problems with your crazy actions," he brought the boy into a strong hug. "Don't go doing something stupid, that time you fought a bear nearly put me in the ground."

"Sorry father," Mani hugged the elder.

"Baa, I did stupid things at your age too," he patted the boy on the back, "Now go check on the rest of the villagers, make sure they're not doing anything stupid." Mani nodded and ran off. The elder turned to Nickolas, "Sir Walters, I am in no position to ask you this, but can you look after my boy?" Nickolas raised an eyebrow at him, young Mani didn't look anything like the Elder, maybe he was adopted. "Mani's a good lad and tries to make right by people, I have no doubt he's going to follow behind you trying to pay off his debt."

"What debt? You are citizens of Ferelden, it's my duty to help you, any money needed to work here is compensated by the crown. Hillcrest owes us nothing." Nickolas pointed out.

The elder shook his head, "That doesn't matter to Mani, to him you came when he called for help, not many nobles would do that, you even cured the village. He believes he is in your debt, no matter what you say."

Nickolas gave a hum, "Kid has a knack for healing, I'll enroll him in Hogwarts's medical program, and have him work as a Healer, he'll 'pay his debt' by the end of the year after working in the hospital."

"He is not a mage?"

Nick laughed, "Not all healers are mages elder Woods, curing diseases doesn't always require magic, trust me people have been curing diseases long before magic and will long after. I'll put him through the potion maker program."

The elder smiled back, "Thank you, Sir Walters."

Nickolas smiled back, "And thank you for allowing my students to help you."

The world faded

-/-

I woke with a startle. Looking around my room, the warm air eased my nerves. That was a rather vivid dream. Nickolas warned me about possible dreams but to see it so clearly~. Even now I can remember the dream, I can remember Nickolas's feeling, his annoyance at his students' blasé attitude walking into the village, the pride that came when Halie cured her first patient, the disgust of the disease itself. I looked down at my hand as I used the implanted knowledge of Healing Hand to come to the surface causing my hand to glow.

"... how much does medical school cost?"

-/-

Maranda POV

I watched Thane walk off to his room as the elevator door closed. The wizard is at it again. I mean seriously! Thane has been here less than a week and he already gave him magic!? The door opened revealing the shuttle bay with some of the engineering crew looking over the Puma X-8, talking about giving it a nickname and a new paint job, I spotted Nick playing with a large sheet of metal.

"Walters," I called out.

"Yeah," he answered but didn't look away from the piece of metal, looking at it like it was hiding some secret, which it just might be with him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm trying to learn metalbending."

What the hell does that even mean!? "Can't you already control Earth? How is this any different?"

"You would think so, but no, Earthbending is all about power, Metalbending has an art to it, I just don't know the brush strokes."

"Shepard told me you had access to some sort of dimensional shop, can't you just buy the instructions there? Is it too expensive? Or not in stock."

He gave a light chuckle, "Trust me, Maranda, they have everything, from lamps with genies, to slippers that let you fly, to Giant Doom lasers. I even found a step-by-step instruction guide to Metalbending, at the low-low price of 500 gold or 2.5 million credits~."

Whoa~. "That does sound expensive, but you should have the money for that. Telsa is a terrifying force of financial nature."

"I'm not surprised Cerberus is watching us, but I didn't think you would care that much?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's my job to know the people who live on this ship."

"And shoot bad guys~?" he teased.

"... And shoot bad guys," I huffed. "Is this really that difficult? Aren't you some sort of super wizard?"

He gave a chuckle, "I am no one special," he shrugged.

"Julia would disagree."

He gave another laugh, "Lucky maybe~, but not special, I wasn't a prince, a royal mage, or a bus driver, I was just a normal person. My family made enough to live above the poverty line, I had 3 siblings, one brother, and two sisters, we ate every day, my parents not only loved each other, they liked each other. I am the definition of a normal person, nothing special about me."

"But here you are, a powerful sorcerer that travels dimensions."

He laughed some more, "You make it sound like I planned it all out~! No~. One minute I was going home, the next I was somewhere so far away and different that I couldn't even fathom it, maybe that's what kept me sane, I could only imagine the madness of me appearing in another dimension where everything was the same, but everyone wrote using their left hand-" he took a deep breath, "-Anyway, using the shop could be rather dangerous, not because someone is going to hurt you, everything is very civil, but because it causes complacency, why work hard to learn something new when someone out there has already made it and is selling the skill for cheap, why make your own armor when you can just buy one, why make your own food when someone is selling a five-course meal for a fraction of the price~? The shop becomes a trap for the lazy, have I bought things from the shop, you better believe it, you think I'm going to go out there and hunt for my own vampire dust, hell no! Let some vampire hunter deal with that, but metalbending is an offshoot of Earthbending, with some practice and effort I could learn it and not waste a bunch of money. My mama didn't raise no fool, it's always cheaper to make your own things than buy them."

"Mmm, I suppose it is better to gain your power than it be given to you," I hummed.

"I like to think so~," he shrugged, "So is that what you needed? Cuz I'm trying to bend this sheet into a swan."

I gritted my teeth, "... I need your help with something."

"Is it about your sister?"

That nearly sent me into a full-blown panic attack. "HOW!?"

He huffed and rolled his eyes, "I'm a magic space wizard from another dimension, these cool glowing eyes aren't just for the ladies~."

"I... you... how long?"

"Mmm, since I met you. You weren't exactly my friend at the time~, so I viewed some of your past." this son of a bitch just said something that no normal person would be okay with!

"You read my mind!?" I hissed, trying to shield my thoughts like I was taught in my training against Asaris.

"No, you idiot, I read your soul~."

"That's even worse!" I think. Somehow that feels more violating.

"Not really, your mind holds important emotional personal feelings, the soul on the other hand just tells the facts, you were born here, you broke your leg on this day, your first kiss was under a tree~, there's no feeling to it, I don't know how you felt about your home, or the pain you were in when you broke your leg, or if your toes curled at your first kiss. Maybe a powerful telepath might, but not me. If I focus, I sometimes get surface thoughts about how you feel about me in this very moment, like your fear and anger but not much else."

Looks like that mental fortitude training was a waste of time, "How do I know you're not lying?"

he gave another shrug. "You don't. It's all about trust. And the fact that mind abilities are some of the most difficult powers to use, trust me when I tell you this, most people with mind powers tend to kill themselves before they use it on others." he tapped his temple, "This thing is touchy at the best of times, you start messing with it and you tend to die rather quickly~."

That I believed. "But can you?"

He shrugged, "I have a few books on the subject in my library under lock and key. It's not the kind of magic you wanna play with," he warned. He wasn't going to budge on this.

"Right, sorry."

"Don't be, here" he tossed me a necklace with a ring around it, "It fortifies your mind, when I learned about the Reaper's indoctrination powers, I placed it on everyone's new armor, but that should keep your mind safe outside of your armor." I looked at the runes on the ring, they were beautiful, giving off an otherworldly glow. "See~, that would have cost me 250,000 Credits, instead it cost me less than the stainless steel it's made of. Anyone who buys things are suckers."

"Right~, about my sister?"

"I'll be there~," he closed his eyes and pressed his hands against the sheet of metal slowly turning his hand counterclockwise, a screeching noise coming from the sheet of metal before his fingers slipped. There were grooves where his fingers caught the metal, "Oh~, that's what I'm talking about~." he smirked at me, "A little elbow grease goes a long way."

"Mmm, I'll leave you to it," I muttered walking back to my quarters to prepare.

Nothing should go wrong, the transfer papers have come in and Niket is ready to move the family to a new and safer location, somewhere that bastard will never find her.

-/-

Nick POV

New Quest: A sister is a dearest friend, Closest enemy, and an Angel at the time of need.

Miranda has asked you to help transfer her sister and her family to a shuttle that will lead them to safety and a new life.

Reward: 30,000 EXP, 20,000 credits, one gold loot box,  one  gacha token, Neutral with Miranda

"So... it's only us?" I asked. Only me and Shepard were helping Maranda with her mission. "I thought we were the distraction? Wouldn't Sky or Astral do a better job at this?"

"We need to keep the destruction to a minimum, Sky and Astral have very little care for collateral damage," Miranda answered from the driver's seat in front of me. Evening in Nos Astra was beautiful, everything was drenched in different shades of orange that pierced in-between the city's skyscrapers.

"Man~, we both know that's a load of malarkey, Sky did great on the train~," I huffed.

"I... also wanted to keep as little people as possible from being involved," She added.

"What about Niket?" I asked, "Will he be okay? Your father is a right asshole, I wouldn't put it past him to hurt or kill him."

"Niket can take care of himself, and they need him a live and safe, he's the only one who knows what she looks like and where they are going to meet."

"Then wouldn't he be the main target?" I asked. "Better question how does the shit stain that calls itself your father know where Niket might be? I thought all this was hush-hush?"

"My father is one of the wealthiest men in the galaxy, he has agents everywhere, but Cerberus shouldn't be underestimated, they were able to keep my sister hidden."

"Then why move her? All this activity must have triggered some kind of signal on his radar," I pointed out.

"... I didn't take you seriously before, when you told me that the Illusive Man sent me to die I didn't believe you, but you were right, I could die on this mission, and my sister will be left without a protector, I wanted to make sure that if something happened that she would be okay," she huffed.

"Gunship 3 o'clock," Shepard called out. Looking out the window we spotted the gunship flying next to us.

"They are ordering us to land," Miranda called out, looking at the controls.

"Should I mess with them?" I asked. An illusion of darkness in the cockpit would be funny, but they might crash though.

"No, we are in the tower cluster, we can land in that warehouse on the lower levels and work our way up. Now let's see if they want us alive," she muttered.

They in fact didn't want us alive, the gunship didn't fire a single shot, I could only imagine a gunship firing in a Warehouse of any kind would have people up in arms flooding this place with police, that didn't stop the mercs from shooting up our ride, causing us to have a rough landing.

"Mmm, yeah~," I huffed, cracking my back, "So we're killing all these guys, right?"

"More than likely~," Shepard answered.

Exiting the car, we were greeted with a merc with his overshields at max, wise.

Human mercenary

Brian  Stevenson

Lvl:  23

HP 350/350

Shields 500/300

Weakness:

Head

Old lacrosse injury

As long as he gets his pay  he'll do whatever they tell him to do

"Since you're not firing you must know who I am?" Miranda took charge, walking up to Brian.

Brian sneered, "Yeah, they said you would be in the car. You're the bitch that kidnapped our boss's little girl."

"Brian, I have a few questions~," I interrupted the conversation that was going on.

"How do-"

"Brian, how did you know we were in that car? I mean there are thousands of similar cars all around us, and yet you found us like a pro," I asked.

"Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Brian Stevenson~, buddy, listen. You done fucked up. Your life is hanging by a thread. I'm not sure what led you down this very stupid path, but you're standing in front of one of Cerberus's most dangerous agents, thee Commander Shepard, and a fucking space wizard. If you think you're going to walk out of here with nothing less than every bone in your body not crushed to dust you are wrong, very, very wrong," I growled unleashing my intimidation skill flooding everything within two hundred meters with an aura of death. The blood in Brian's face drained and began shivering. "I'm going to ask you one more time Brian, how did you know we were in that car?"

"I-I-I-I, N-Niket! He-he told us!" he stuttered.

"Mmm, and why would he do that?" I asked.

"B-because! He-he's working for our boss! That's how we knew she was being moved!"

"Impossible," Miranda hissed. "He wouldn't do that."

"AHHHH!" one of Brian's mercs rushed us. That's the thing about my intimidation skill, it floods the automatic nervous system with signals, causing our Fight-flight-or-freeze response to activate, my skill usually causes people to freeze, like a deer in headlights, but sometimes you get that one guy with the brains to run, or an idiot to charge. I unleashed one of my more powerful spells.

"Sunburst~," I whispered.

Sunburst – Praise the sun! One of the most powerful spells the school of evocation teaches.

Cost – 1550 MP

Rank - Novice

A fireball, the size of a basketball, flew from my palm, striking the merc who was 50 meters away in the chest before the ball expanded to nearly 20 feet in diameter, washing the room in light and the heat of the sun, anyone within 30 feet of the sphere burst into flames, anyone looking at the sphere of death within 50 feet were blinded for 10 minutes.

As the spell ended, the merc hit with the spell was vaporized and the metal 30 feet from the center of the blast was melting. Was it overkill? Yes, but you sometimes have to show people who's in charge, and sometimes overwhelming power is the best way to do that.

"What are you!?" Brian cried from the floor.

"Names Nick Walters~, monster, killer, your enemy~," I smiled down at him, all teeth. "Brian~, do you have a radio frequency?" He just nodded, pulling out some kind of radio from his suit, passing it to me, which I passed to Miranda. "Thank you Brian," I reached out and cast sleep, knocking him out. I clapped, smiling at my group like nothing happened. "Alright let's get going~," I cheered marching off toward the elevator, ignoring their shocked looks.

-/-

This place looked like the inside of a grandfather clock or a crazy Rube Goldberg machine, everything was connected to something else and constantly moving, I could only imagine the deaths this place caused. Who builds a place like this? This was a huge lawsuit made into a building, well, it would be if everyone wasn't a slave, sorry, 'indentured servant'.

I unleashed some chain lightning killing 3 mechs and stun locking 4 mercs making them easy pickings for Shepard and Miranda. I feel like this would have been harder if the Eclipse didn't use mechs for everything, lightning tends to burn them out pretty easily, and with Shepard's super armor, we were mowing our way through the warehouse. Captain Enyala was a bitch, she clearly knew her men were dying by the dozen, and instead of thinking of anything else she just sent more men.

"Miranda, how many mercs has your father hired? We have to be in the triple digits by now!?" I asked shooting out another Chain lightning.

"As much as money can buy apparently," she answered, shooting a merc in the head, "Cerberus isn't an organization you just cross without getting shot at."

"Shepard, what's the moral situation with me just taking some of this stuff?" I asked, launching a fireball at a group of mercs turning the corner.

"Not, great. This stuff doesn't belong to the Eclipse, it belongs to the city, taking this stuff is just stealing," he answered, as his shoulder guns unleashed a barrage of endless bullets at every merc that popped their head out of cover, I'm just happy I put some sound dampeners on the guns otherwise Shepard would be deaf by now.

I tsked, "What if it's broken?"

"Still stealing, if you pick it up at the junkyard and fix it then that's a different story," he shrugged, putting a bullet through a mech.

I shook my head, "These mechs make me sad." I summoned four of my new robo-golems, unlike the earlier version meant for power and tanking, these new golems were smaller and sleeker, they were modeled after Shayle's new body, just a bit more mech-like. I made them for speed and sneak attacks, simply put, my Earth golems were my mob, Knight golems were my fighters, Robot golems were my tanks, and my new 'Fembots' were my rogues. I snapped my fingers, "You go girls~." The Golems dashed forward at great speeds jumping over crates and running into enemy territory, screams coming quickly after.

"New golems?" Shepard asked.

"Yep~, invisibility, durability, speed, finger pistols with silencers, stick'em powers, Jetpacks, and omni-blades~. If I'm going to make assassin bots I might as well do it right." I answered, a bit proud of my new golems.

"Don't you ever fear they might go rogue and try and kill you?" Miranda asked.

I gave her a confused look, "Why would they do that? I made them with magic and love, there is a good chance they might gain a soul of their own in a few thousand years, so I gave them my sense of morality. If they ever do gain sentience they'll at least understand right from wrong and grow into their own people. I don't think a father could ask for anything better. With any luck, I might still be alive to help them in their new forms, but I did make dozens of recordings of myself answering some questions they might ask. Why me? Did you love me? What am I? Do I have a soul? Why do people enjoy humping so much? You know, the important questions~," I teased.

Miranda rolled her eyes, "You're a mad man that is more than likely going to destroy your own world."

"Oh, trust me, I don't even break the top 100. From Necromancers to blood mages to ancient Liches, there is no end to crazies and their 'great glory'," I waved away her comment. "There was once an archmage that created a golem out of Dragon bones, but thanks to the Dragon's magic it regained its mind, killed the Mage, and is now teaching at the college of Masters in Rezum."

"Hold on, the dead Dragon... is a professor~," Shepard drawled, "I don't believe you."

I shrugged, "It's true, I have pictures, and I attended one of her classes on multi-casting. I kinda get it, Prof. Akos, Eater of Bunnies, lived for over 2,000 years before she died, you can't just pass on that sort of knowledge."

"Eater of Bunnies~?" Miranda drawled.

"Once you get a title in dragon culture it's hard to break.," I explained, "To be fair it's hard to get one in the first place, some never get one, so take what you can get. Prof. Akos, Eater of Bunnies, doesn't really mind, 2,000 years tends to dull you to the jokes and only idiots make fun of a dragon."

"Your world is ridiculous~," Miranda huffed.

I shrugged, "No crazier than giant space robots that wipe out all advanced sentient life every 50,000 years~," I countered.

"Point," She conceded.

We stuck to the ground level for now, the last thing I wanted to do was get crushed by a cargo container or get lost in the maze of moving parts. Rushing through the Warehouse we ran past quite a few Eclipse corpses and broken mechs, looks like my Fembots' first test run was looking pretty good.

"Captain Enyala!" a panicked voice came over the radio. "They have some kind of assassin droids! It's killing all our guys, we need- AHHH!" the voice was cut off.

"CAN'T YOU IDIOTS DO ANYTHING RIGHT!?" A pissed-off woman screamed from the other end of the call, "Stop messing around! Get the THOR mechs! And I swear if you idiots fuck this up, I'm killing every one of you." The radio went dead.

I blinked, "THOR Mech?"

Shepard shrugged, "No idea, Miranda?"

"Nothing, it might be new. My father has his fingers in everything, it's possible he might have some cutting-edge equipment not on the market."

I sighed, "It's Hock all over again~, if there is a giant robot on the next floor, I am keeping it," I pointed at Shepard.

He gave me a long look, "... do you really need another giant robot~?"

"Yes, yes I do," I answered immediately.

"Where would you even put it?" he huffed.

"I'll find a place~, what would you do with it~?" I countered.

"Give it to Anderson, so he can make it able to kill reapers," he answered.

"You mean for me to make it kill Reapers, but for Anderson to keep it~?"

"Yeah, what did I say?" he smirked.

"You're the worst~," I answered.

"Would you two focus?" Miranda hissed. We reached the elevator to move us up and to the next section of the warehouse. My Fembots, covered in blood, were waiting for us. One quick Prestidigitation for clean-up and we were riding up the warehouse giving us a good view of the ridiculous layout we shot our way through. I wouldn't be surprised if Vault-tec was involved in making this place.

Reaching the next level my Fembots jumped into action, ready to dash forward and disappear into the warehouse. Only to freeze at the very empty floor. Looking around the empty room I found destroyed crates and busted-up cargo crates slammed up against the walls.

DANGER! ABOVE! I quickly enhanced my shimmering shield, blocking a Lightning shockwave from an 8-foot mech slamming onto the floor. Like its brothers it was bone white with a bipedal form, with two thick armored arms with lightning dancing around them, it had a shoulder cannon, with a small head with no neck.

Mecha

THOR mech

Durability 800/800

Shield 800/800

This mech has yet to hit the markets, built with a powerful He-3 generator, it channels energy through its body unleashing powerful electric bolts through its body, much like an overload. It uses its Eezo core engine to create a mass effect field to channel bolts of lightning. Created by Hahne-Kedar Shadow Works.

Get yours today~.

It unleashed a bolt of lightning striking my magic shield.

Outer shield damaged!  10 /250!

Alright, that's annoying, no doubt a normal shield would have been brought down from that blast alone. It then activated some kind of jet pack and blasted straight at us, swinging one of its huge arms, only to be intercepted by one of my fembots dropping kicking the THOR mech, and throwing it off course.

"Mmm." that was interesting. My fembots are nowhere near strong enough to kick something that big anywhere, the THOR mech looked like it weighed an easy thousand pounds with all its armor and machinery. It must use its Eezo core to lighten its weight to move at great speeds. That's annoying but a decent way to work around the weight. F-1 or Fembot 1, dropped after the kick but didn't get up.

Mecha-Golem

Fembot-1

Durability 783/800

Shields 0/300

A master-crafted golem made by Nick Walters, Lyna Tabris, and Julia Hope. Made as an assassin droid, this golem has a pistol finger, hidden forearm blades, great speed and strength, with the ability to stick to walls and turn invisible.

Error! Paralyzed! Time  remaining  1:57

"OI!" I yelled, firing a barrage of dozens of Magic missiles, "DON'T TOUCH MY GOLEMS!" followed by summoning a dozen of my Earth golems, sure they weren't as powerful as my Knights or Robot Golems, but the Earth was a good insulator, Earthbending my golems I filled every nook and cranny the Mech had exposed before I pulled it apart.

"In coming!" Shepard called out as two more THOR mechs came from over the cargo wall, along with a YMIR mech as backup. Shepard's shoulder cannons came to life unleashing covering fire and using his rocket launcher to shut the YMIR mech down before it got its guns ready. Miranda was using her biotics to launch my golems at the incoming THOR mechs, they didn't last long but I was able to earthbend their remains to unleash hell.

"HOLD!" I cast Hold Person on the other last two THOR mechs freezing them in place, allowing me to dash forward.

Haki + Max STR + fisticuffs + Jeet Kune do + Quivering palm strike = 2539 points of Piercing damage!

My hand pierced through the Mechs armor, ripping out the engine and shattering it with my bare hand.

Quivering palm was one of the few Skills I learned from the open palm monk school of fighting. You learn quickly that the best way to do damage is to stack attacks that work well together. Quivering Palm worked great with my build, it changed my Damage from bludgeoning to piercing if I wanted and gave me the option to knock someone out instead of killing them.

I'm only Novice Rank at the skill costing me 120 CP per blow, but it nearly doubled my attack power. I've been trying to coat my fists in elemental power but that was a bitch and a half to do, usually backfiring causing me damage, and doing the same to the other paralyzed mech, I stored them both into my inventory. I'm going to have fun pulling these guys apart and seeing how they work; I might be able to make an army and sell it to Anderson.

"Do you think they have more?" I smiled.

"I don't think you know how expensive those were~," Miranda deadpanned, "They're probably the first out of the production line, my father would rather have the mercenaries die and not pay them than one of his mechs that he only had to pay for once."

"God, damn~, your father is an asshole~," I huffed.

"You don't say~," she drawled at my great wisdom.

"HA!" I laughed, snapping my fingers, ordering my Fembots to clear a path to the elevator with some of my Earth golems as backup. I picked up F-1 and carried her on my back.

"You're carrying it?" Miranda asked.

"Of course! She's, my creation! The paralysis should end in a minute or so, and she can join her sisters in clearing out the rest of the room after her Shields come back online," I answered.

"Why? It's just a machine, you can make dozens of them, better than that one, why not just put it in your hammerspace," She asked.

I just gave her a long look, "Because I made her, she is my responsibility," I Earthbent the remains of any earth golem back into a pile, which I used to make a new golem. "It's okay if you don't understand, I doubt you've created a golem before. I literally put a little of myself in every one of them," the new earth golem gave me a little salute and ran after his siblings. The Fembot on my back gave a jolt as she came out of her paralysis, I gently helped her to her feet, as her shields quickly reloaded back to max. I gave her a once over before giving her a nod; she saluted and ran off.

"You treat them like your children," Miranda pointed out.

"Ahhh~," I sighed, scratching my chin, "I do, don't I~?" I shrugged, "I would like to see you not get attached to something you put hours of your life into. Still~, they are automatons created by me to do my bidding, they are not alive, not yet anyway."

"And when they are?" she asked.

"I'll just make more~," I shrugged, "You make it sound like I'll be angry if they don't want to work for me. If they want to travel the world or settle down that will be their choice, besides that's for future me to worry about," I teased.

"You're all intelligence and no wisdom," Miranda drawled, making me laugh.

"What is wisdom~?" I teased, "The Quarians were so close to building something beautiful, can you imagine if they and the Geth worked together, they would probably have a council seat and rule a good chunk of the terminus system. Trust me, Machine life tends to roll off your back when you've seen dragons, gods, and talking balls of slime that have no brains. Shoot even Shepard has become friends with EDI and he killed her once."

"What?" Shepard asked, "When did I kill her?"

"On Earth's Moon, she told me, she 'awakened' in some kind of military base and panicked after people shot her, you showed up not long after," I answered.

"The rogue VI," he muttered, "That was EDI?"

"Part of her anyway, clearly she got an upgrade," I shrugged.

"The binary message," he muttered, eyes wide as if finally seeing the full picture, "I always thought it was a soldier trying to send out a last message. I didn't know it was her."

"But she did, and didn't hate you for it, trust me if you killed me and then asked for my help, things would not be going well for you," I teased, "I guess EDI is just a better person than I am."

"How do you know all this?" Miranda asked.

I blinked at her, "I talk to EDI all the time, she is a good friend~. I've burdened her with my own dark secrets... things Cailan must never know," I staged-muttered. Miranda glared at me. "What? I need to trust someone with my unspeakable secrets, my arcane knowledge, and all my weaknesses, I tried with Shepard, but he was too busy with his model ships, Garrus only talked about calibrations, and Thane just joined, I want him to get properly settled before I flood his mind with madness, if it helps Joker was there, but he was too busy staring at EDI's boobs."

"That doesn't help," she sighed.

"You call being taught guitar lessons by legendary musician Slash, a normal, not crazy, thing to do?" Shepard drawled.

I shrugged, "It was mostly an illusion I created by learning all I could from videos of him when he was alive, do you have any idea how much it would cost to get the real soul of Slash, AKA Saul Hudson, to teach us how to play the 'C' chord!? TIM and the Alliance don't have a quarter of the money. Don't tell Jacob though, he was really happy and bonded well with Thane."

Shepard shook his head, "a precise mercenary~."

I started laughing, "That was the funniest thing I have ever heard, Zevran and Lily would have died from laughter."

It took a minute to get to the next elevator, having to maneuver past the broken cargo the Eclipse Mercs left behind without using our jetpacks, I wasn't foolish enough not to think they didn't have snipers. Reaching the elevator, we spotted a dozen or so Merc lying all over the floor, some weren't dead, but they weren't getting up, not without some medical help, Legs don't bend that way~.

"YOUR ALL FUCKING FAILURES!" Captain Enyala yelled into the radio. "YOU WILL ALL BE SOLD TO MAKEUP FOR THE LOSS OF THOSE MECHS! THERE IS ONLY THREE OF THEM! FUCK ME! IS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MENTALLY IMPAIRED!? ARE YOU IDIOTS FIGHTING THEM ONE AT A TIME!? IS TODAY STUPID DAY!? GODDESS DAMNIT!"

"Oof~," I dragged, "Guess she never learned that you get more flies with honey than being a bitch~."

"I WANT YOU DUMBASSES UP HERE NOW! NIKET! WHERE'S THE GIRL!?"

"Yeesh~, so how are we doing this? Kill the good captain, capture Niket, force Miranda to meet her sister?" I asked.

Shepard nodded, "Sounds about right." he answered pressing the up button.

"Force? You can't force me to do anything," Miranda hissed.

"Your right, I can't," I agreed, "Same way you can't stop me from seducing your sister, if only Oriana had someone to keep punks like me away, maybe an older sister of some kind, oh well, I'll just make her my concubine."

Miranda glared at me so hard I was surprised laser beams didn't shoot out of her eyes. "I can remove your balls with my mind," she threatened.

"Oh my~, You're willing to fight a crazy Space Wizard, but not talk to your little sister?" I sighed, "Miranda, would it be so bad to at least tell your sister that you exist, that you care for her, that you live vicariously through her, and that she shouldn't date crazy people?"

She took a deep breath, "Nick... are you an idiot? Don't answer that, I know the answer. What exactly am I going to say to her? 'Hello, I'm your sister and I saved you from a crazy rich asshole when you were a baby, love me. Also, I looked after you since you were a child and know everything about you.' Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds!? That is some serial killer stalker nonsense!"

I had to agree to that, "I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna need to be workshopped, but if she is as smart as you she probably knows something is up~, let's face it, you look like someone that would baby her, probably got her in the best schools, great professors, Scholarships meant only for her, Shit you are relocating her right now, probably to somewhere she can blend into with other geniuses and have a perfect life. By now she probably has a room filled with dart boards, red strings, and newspaper clippings that all lead back to you. You wanna know how I know that? Cuz you're crazy enough to have a room with a bunch of Dartboards, and strings that lead back to her!"

"And if you're wrong?"

"Well love me tenderly~, I guess you would have to talk to her to find out," I huffed.

"How long are you guys going to argue?" Shepard asked from the hatch on the ceiling, my fembots looking down at us. We just looked at them for a moment before we followed them up. The elevator came to a crawl before it beeped, and the doors slowly opened to an absolute bedlam of bullets ripping the elevator apart. Shepard just pointed to the elevator door above, we just nodded, hacked the door, and got off on the floor above the gunfire.

It has an overview of the floor beneath us and the dozens of mercs pointing their guns at the now-destroyed elevator. See~, a competent commander wouldn't allow their troops to do that, it tends to leave them open to something like this.

"Sunburst, I unleashed another star of death, killing a good chunk outright, setting others on fire, and leaving the rest blind, making them easy prey for Miranda and Shepard, my Fembots turning invisible and moving to flank.

"FUCK!" an Asari in heavy armor yelled covering her eyes and firing wildly, I'm guessing that's Captain Enyala. I didn't even bother observing her, I just summoned an Earth golem and crushed her like a cockroach with earth bending. It was a bit anticlimactic, until she exploded, covering the field with blood and earth. What the hell was that!? Did I hit a grenade?

We found Niket hiding behind some crates, scared out of his wits.

-/-

Miranda POV

As Walters dragged Niket from behind a crate, my rage was boiling, that bastard! I trusted him! "Niket," I could barely contain my biotic rage. I wanted to destroy everything around me, unleash my power, and turn everything into scraps... I also wanted to cry, WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? Why?

"Miri-"

"Don't you ever call me that," the venom in my voice made him flinch.

"Yo, Shep, Zone of Truth?" Walters asked waving his finger around the area.

"Mmm," he took a deep breath, took out his holy pistol, and aimed at the floor, "ZONE OF TRUTH!" he yelled, pulling the trigger but instead of a bullet, a magic circle appeared at our feet, the familiar feel of the spell washed over me. Unlike Ayla's, which didn't give me a chance to fight it off, Shepard's spell wasn't as overbearing, I'm not sure if it was because Shepard was new at this or if it was thanks to my new magical armor, but I felt that if I fought it, I might be able to overcome it. Too bad I was far more focused on Niket.

"Why Niket?" I glared, as my eyes began to sting.

"M-money," he stuttered.

"Money. MONEY!? You sold me out for fucking money!? I could have given you MONEY~! YOU WERE WILLING TO SEND MY SISTER TO A MONSTER FOR MONEY!?" I shoved my pistol into his neck, finger on the trigger, but Nick grabbed the gun and moved it out of the way. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"What did you need the money for Niket? Why not go to Miranda?" he asked.

"I-I I have a little girl," he muttered, "T-there's been problems, expenses, debts. I-I was going to go to Miranda for help, but I found out she was working for Cerberus. I couldn't trust her, I couldn't trust Cerberus, I heard what they did to people, if I became indebted to them, who knows what they would have done to me or my family! I couldn't risk it!"

"Cerberus would have helped!" I roared at him, how dare he judge the organization that helped me and Oriana.

"I KNOW WHAT THEY DO!" he yelled back, "I've seen the news! I've researched them after I learned you worked for them! They are monsters," he hissed. "I wasn't going to put my family through that."

"Then why did you even get involved in all this?" Shepard asked.

"When Miri – Miranda-," his correction hurt more than I thought it would, "-Called and asked me to help move something for her I thought it was small, maybe just a package, or maybe a letter, something unimportant. But when her father called, I was scared, Henry Lawson wasn't a man I wanted to cross, not again. He told me about Oriana, I told him to shove it, that I didn't believe him, but then you called, and you admitted everything to me. I just couldn't, I know you wanted to leave, to never return to your father, but you took a baby."

"I rescued her!" I corrected.

"SHE DIDN'T GET TO CHOOSE!" he yelled back, "you stole a CHILD! A CHILD THAT DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING! If you stole my child, and told me you knew best, I would stop at nothing to save her, and kill you." I didn't need the magic spell to tell me he was telling the truth.

"You're not telling her the truth now."

"Don't mistake me for a monster, she is an adult, I was going to tell her everything, who she is, who you are, who her father is, and give her the choice, to pick her future, not you, not her father, not anyone. Just her."

"Then what's with all the mercs?" Walters asked.

Niket tsked, "I underestimated Lawson, he told me he would send one of his employees to help transfer her, if Enyala was still in one piece you would have found the mini-explosives I slipped onto her Armor." We looked over to the blood stain that was once an Asari.

Walters gave a nervous giggle, "Holy shit, Miranda was right, you can handle yourself."

"Yeah well, I couldn't fight off an army of mercs, so I sent a warning to Miranda, I was planning to sneak away in the chaos and warn Oriana, But Enyala wouldn't leave my damn side. I guess she didn't plan on Commander Shepard and a bunch of heavily armed weirdos mowing down her entire team."

"You betrayed me," I hissed.

"I don't know who you are, but my friend, Miri, didn't want to live under the rule of a monster, and I doubt she would want her sister to live under a puppet master."

"I ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR HER!"

"DOES SHE EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!?"

"I-" Shepard's magic gripped me, "No," I answered.

"Then what do you know what's best for her? Will you do this again? If she gets a failing grade, will you threaten her teacher, if she doesn't want to join a school you don't like, will you threaten her scholarships, if she dates a boy you find ugly, will you make him disappear!?"

"I-"

"You pretend you're better than your father, but you act the same."

I slapped him across the face. It was one thing for Shepard to say that, he was a stranger, But Niket. My tears were salty and I couldn't stop shivering. I wanted to throw up, to yell, to deny his words.

"Niket," Shepard spoke up, "Does her father know where Oriana is?"

"... of course not," he sighed, "I don't trust that man, I know what he is, my job was to bring Enyala to Oriana and get paid. I was going to kill Enyala, tell Oriana the truth, lie to Lawson, and say Miranda found out and killed Enyala and moved her sister before I could do anything. I would then lie to Miranda telling her that Lawson took Oriana before I could do anything and disappear as they killed each other. Oriana's free and I get paid for at least helping."

"That's one hell of a plan~," Nick shook his head.

"Of mice and men~," Niket huffed.

"Miranda~?" Shepard asked.

I stared at Niket for a long time, he didn't flinch this time, his cheek was red and no doubt painful, but he didn't flinch. "We need to get to Oriana," I answered, walking away.

"She's not a toy, don't treat her like one." was the last thing I heard from Niket. Shepard followed not long after.

"Walters?" I asked as we reached the elevator.

Shepard shrugged, "He had to talk with Niket, you know Nick, probably going to say some magic stuff, give him money for his child, and somehow beat us to Oriana above us."

I felt my anger rising, "He would help him, he betrayed us."

Shepard shook his head, "What are you talking about? Miri asked for his help," he answered using my Nickname. He pressed the button to head upwards. "She asked for Niket to help her sister, are you telling me, that telling Oriana the truth, that a mad man, whom I can only describe as eugenics brought to life, is hunting her, and that she has a loving, if overprotective and insane, older sister that wants only the best for her? I'm not going to lie, Miranda, I don't know your life story, I don't know how you got recruited into Cerberus, I don't even know what your favorite color is, but I do know that you care for your sister. The question is, how much do you love her? Does she deserve to know about herself? About the danger she is in? I can tell you this~, if she is as smart as you, as strong as you, as devoted, she will make waves in the future, are you going to micromanage her entire life?"

"... I wanna punch you."

"We are in an elevator with nowhere to run, I don't think you're going to get a better chance than this."

"...Will I get in trouble?"

"... how hard are you planning on hitting me?"

"... I don't wanna punch you anymore."

That made him laugh. The doors opened on an outdoor pavilion with dozens of men, women, and children, all blissfully unaware of the madness that happened beneath their very feet. They were all so... Normal. Some going to work, others on dates, parents talking with their children, Nick talking to Oriana, some late for-

.

.

.

I slowly turned back to Nick, who slowly looked up and shot me the smuggest grin I have ever seen, and I've seen Kai Lang's... face. I didn't know what happened, one second, I was next to a laughing Shepard, the next I was flying through the air, drop kicking Nick in the chest.

"Okay but why!?" Nick groaned as he flew across the floor.

I quickly jumped to my feet, and turned to a blanked face Oriana, "Whatever he said was a lie!"

She just calmly looked at me, "So you're not Ms. Rogers, Mr. Jones's replacement?" she drawled. Mr. Jones was Niket's cover.

"Uh? Yes?" caught flatfooted, this was embarrassing.

"It's okay, but for a secret agent, you're not very good at lying," she deadpanned.

"What? I'm not-"

"Miranda Lawson," that shut me up. "Born 2150. You won an Award for the youngest violinist at the age of 12, went missing at 15."

"Holy... shit," Nick groaned from the floor. "Look out... I think... she's a cop... or worse... an above-average detective."

"How-"

"I know I'm adopted, my parents told me when I asked at the age of 8. I tried to see if my family was still alive but didn't find anything, so I investigated the orphanage where I lived, it took me some time, but I was able to find some footage of a heavily covered woman dropping off a baby at the orphanage's doorstep on the same day I was reported in the orphanage's records, I had to hack a few cameras and followed you until you removed your disguise, you can imagine my shock when you looked just like me, so I used some facial recognition software on myself to see if anything popped up, you started popping up in a lot of places. The Citadel, Illium, Omega, Earth, Thessia. You appeared everywhere."

"Why do you think I'm a secret agent?"

"I didn't, at first, I thought you were a thief or worse, a real estate agent. But 'he' made it all clear," she pointed at Shepard.

"Me?" he pointed to himself.

"Commander John Shepard, the Lion of Elysium, Butcher of Tofan, the first human spectre, hero of the citadel... and Cartoon icon. You wouldn't have someone in your team who was only, okay, at their job. So, I assumed that you are some kind of Agent or assassin," she answered without batting an eyelash.

"How do you know I'm Shepard?" John asked.

She just jutted her thumb at a shop's window with a Shepard VI.

"... Oh my god!" Walters wheezed, "It's... a Shepard VI! I've been... going crazy looking for one!" he slowly got up, "... dibs!

"Don't bother, they're sold out, that's just a display."

"DAMN IT!" He fell to his knees.

She turned to Walters, "Nick Walters... I don't know much about you. You showed up in the citadel at the same time the Asari scandal hit the Extranet, the only thing I could find about you was some pictures from some Fantasy website about real dragons, your Cartoon site, and some Chats about some extremely wealthy individual with glowing eyes giving money away to every Quarian he came across. There are also rumors of a magic man that came from another dimension to steal all our cheese~," she deadpanned.

"That was me," he pridefully pronounced, "Tali has been teaching me how to use the extranet, and I started making crazy rumors to muddy the waters about myself," he dusted himself off and summoned a flashy cape and crown, and draped it on Oriana's shoulders, "You officially scare me. I dub you the scary girl of the year. You can keep the crown and cape~," he waved goodbye running away.

She pulled the crown from her head, "Is this real gold?"

"Probably~," Shepard answered, "I'm going to make sure he doesn't get in any trouble, have fun." He also ran away. That bastard.

.

.

.

This is awkward. Do I say something? What do I say?

"Will I also look like that when I'm 40?" she deadpanned.

"I'm 35." this little brat~.

"I know, but I read that younger sisters make fun of their older sibling's age."

"... I... I'm sorry I couldn't look after you."

"Why? My mother and father are good people. I grew up in a good home. I went to a good school. I'm happy," she answered, her face not changing from her ever-passive look. "You don't have to tell me anything about your business, I understand that secret Agents shouldn't do that."

"No! I... You deserve to know a few things; I should start from the beginning."

-/-

Nick POV

I was relaxing in the Bar going over Shepard's animated series, it just went live, and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I was also working on an Animated series of the 5th Blight, I wasn't sure that I would release it in Thedas though, the blight was still fresh, but it should be fine in a place where magic, more or less, doesn't exist.

Ilium was coming to an end, kinda. The Normandy was at full strength, more or less, the new shields were working fine, the armor was firmly in place, the large arc reactor was powering the Normandy to the max, and had enough mining Probes to rip a planet apart. We were planning on heading for Alliance Space to test the Puma x-8.

HACK ON!

Suddenly I was standing on a pier with a fishing rod as it went taut, acting quick I pulled on the rod, widened my feet, and lowered my center of gravity. Fishing is all about waiting, drinking alcohol with your friends, and brief but intense life-changing action. Whatever was on the end of the line didn't want to be caught and was more than willing to drag me under, but Tali was a cruel taskmaster when it came to my omni-tool lessons.

I would give slack and pull back like I was a wave, anyone who ever said fishing is a lazy sport is full of it! My arms, legs, shoulders, and back muscles were burning like hell! It felt like hours before I pulled out a goddamn whopper of a tuna from the digital sea.

HACKER CAUGHT!

Choose one of the following counters:

Shock – do 5 points of electrical damage and stun your hacker for  15  seconds. Buzz-Buzz!

Data mine – take a small amount of Data  from  the hacker. Fairs fair!

Nothing – because you're merciful.

There were more counters, but I was only intermediate at hacking, this was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I selected a counter.

"YEOUCH!?" Tali squeaked, jumping from her booth and flopping to the floor, she's really gotten into tank tops and baggy pants. She was on her feet the second the paralysis ended, "YOU ASSHOLE!" She tried to punch me, but I phased through her fist.

I chortled like a supervillain, "What did you think was going to happen when you attack a master hacker like myself," I gloated.

She grinded her teeth. "Master hacker huh~!?"

HACK ON!

I was no longer on that nice pier on a sunny windless day pulling in a fish.

No, now I was on a plank of wood, out on the ocean, in the middle of a thunderstorm. My fishing rod connected not to a fish, but to a goddamn purple Kraken. "RAAAAAAAAAR!" a very pissed off Kraken. I didn't even get to pull on my rod before the Kraken slammed down one of its humongous tentacles on me.

The HACKER got away, better luck next time~.

You have been shocked by 25 points of electrical damage! You have been paralyzed for 2 minutes!

Vit Stat has lowered the time to 30 seconds.

Due to your hard work and effort, you have leveled up your skill:

Hacking – have you tried turning it off and on?

Rank – intermediate

Weapons:

Sad fishing rod

Weak spear

Normal fishing rod

Stone spear

New!

Carbon fiber fishing rod

Steel tip spear

That was the only notice before I lit up like a candle, locked up in place, and flopped to the floor.

"Hehehe~" Tali gloated standing over me. "What's wrong 'master hacker'~. Couldn't even keep your firewalls up~?"

"Aren't you a little too cocky~" I groaned from the floor.

"Not really~, I'm about the right amount of cocky." she sat on my hips, "Wrex taught me how to project power that I possess, and my Hacking skills are top-notch," she smirked digging through my pockets.

"Um... Tali, are you mugging me?" I asked as she patted my chest.

"It's been 3 days and John hasn't lifted my punishment," she hissed removing my shirt, before tsking and moving me from side to side looking for Snacks.

"Maybe you're in trouble because you can't control your tum-tum~," I teased.

"Do you have any idea what nutrient paste tastes like!" she growled, gripping my face so I could see the madness in her eyes.

"... No," this went from cute-crazy to crazy-crazy real fast.

She reached behind her back and pulled out a cylindrical object. "Neither did I~. I lived in blissful ignorance," she shook the container, "This didn't taste like anything, it was simply energy in a can, Calories for my body to work longer~." she smiled down at me, using her way stronger fingers to open my mouth, "And then you came along, with your cute little dance and your silly little magic, but then you made a mistake. You fed me." she shoved the container into my mouth.

"GAK!" It tasted like sawdust... and sadness. I tried to spit it out, but Tali kept my mouth shut, forcing me to swallow it.

Click. We froze, slowly looking up and spotting Julee pointing her omni-tool at us. "My oh my~, what do we have here~? I know you were bold Tali, but to do it in a Bar where anyone can watch~." her smile seemed to split her face.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Tali tried to excuse.

"Really?" John's unamused voice came from behind Julee, "Cuz where I'm standing it looks a lot like you're trying to torturing Nick for his snacks."

"... Nope," Tali squeaked, before looking down at me, and my shirtless chest, before looking back at Shepard, "I, uh... was, uh, SEDUCING HIM!" What kind of excuse was that!?

"Seducing him~?" Shepard drawled clearly not believing a word she said.

"YES! This is how Quarian's seduce!" she was clearly making this stuff up on the spot. "I was... checking him for... diseases." What~?

"Diseases~?" Shepard blinked.

"Yes... we Quarians, can see... Diseases." I think her lie was dealing me psychic damage. "It's a small ability my people have... we don't talk about it... because it's... private."

.

.

.

"Two weeks," Shepard extended her punishment.

"JOHN! NOOO! You have to believe me!" she cried.

"Believe that Quarian seduce their lovers by shocking, mugging, and force-feeding them? As well as have the power to see diseases?" he asked.

"... Yes~," she squeaked.

"No."

"... I didn't think I would have to do this, but I will use the Nuclear option," Tali growled. Nuclear option? "I'm going to call your mother," she threatened, pulling up her Omni-tool.

Shepard just smirked at her, "You got nothing on me~."

"The Fornax contract," was all she said.

He pulled up his Omni-tool, a glare etched onto his face, "Your father would love to know about your new 'HUMAN' boyfriend~."

This became a standoff rather quickly. "How about we all just... breathe. There's no need for anyone to destroy their family relationship." Mediating from under a Quarian is new but my diplomacy skill needed some XP, "Now Tali, John is one of your best friends and commanding officer, he only wants you not to overindulge and get sick or worse. John, Tali is one of your closest confidants and head Engineer, she just got her freedom and only wants to catch up on all the things she dreamed of doing. So how about it, let's put the nukes away." they continued to glare but slowly lowered their Omni-tools. "See~, Friendship. John, Tali would like to Eat something that doesn't taste like sawdust... and sadness. Tali, John wants you to have better control of your dietary intake. So, how about we start with soup, soup is good, easy with the spices."

"I want to be part of Nick's chocolate test," Tali demanded.

"No alcohol for a week," he countered.

"Deal." They shook on it, a chime came from Shepard's omni-tool causing him to make a speedy exit.

"And diplomacy won yet again~," I cheered, "isn't that great?" Tali just stared down at me with a look that screamed, 'Where do you think you're going?' "Tali?"

She pinched my mouth, parting my lips, "You're a bit handsy, aren't you?" I looked down to find my hands resting on her hips.

Shit, "Instinct~?" I begged.

She raised the nutrient paste to my lips, but I quickly stopped her, "Did you, really think, you were going to get, away with it~?" she growled trying to shove the container into my mouth.

"Says the woman, straddling me," I smirked, I was far stronger than Tali, but she was playing dirty, grinding on me, I don't think she knew what she was doing. Julee wasn't helping.

"Yeeesss~, Tali, let the anger flow through you~," she hissed, sitting on my hips, whispering into Tali's ear. I was just going to phase right through them, but Julee was using her Mana to counter mine, blocking me.

Gamer's mind has blocked Julia Hope's Racial ability: Lust

Tali's face was flushed, and the grin she had was downright predatory, like a Cat that cornered a canary. "Tali, I need you to focus." Julee took that moment to grind down on my hips, causing me to lose focus.

"You hear him Tali~," Julee whispered, "The nerve of this butt-face to tell you what to do." she began to massage Tali's scalp, "You, who has been working so hard, who has been denied your sweets, who built a new FTL engine out of scraps." Scraps!? I gave you guys top-of-the-line materials.

"Tali, don't listen to her. You're a strong independent woman that needs no man," I hissed, the Paste dripping on my cheek. Tali started blinking, gaining some control of herself.

"Need? What does 'need' have to do with anything~," Julee whispered to Tali, "This is a reward, your reward, you worked yourself to the bone since you got here, the engine, the shields, having to work with Cerberus, and let's not forget the training, this butt face has been staring at your ass the whole time~," Tali's eyes regained her glare, going right back to trying to force feed me paste. "Yeeesss~, Tali~. Wasn't he the one that wanted you to be selfish? To take what you want? Take him, Tali~," she hissed like a snake, her hand slowly massaging down Tali's back. "He has the sweets, he has the food, he has... everything~." Julee practically hid herself behind Tali's back, her glowing Sulfur eyes dancing with glee. A dangerous smirk was growing across Tali's face, a look of vindictive pleasure shining in her eyes.

"Tali! Don't listen to her!" I huffed; Julee wasn't making it easy to keep my composure with her dry humping. "She's using you! When I found out about the chocolate, I hid all the sweets!" Wow~. "She's using you to get what she wants."

Julee's hands danced across Tali's arms before puppet-ing them, helping her overpower me. "All the better to break him my love~, he holds our reward, our chocolate, he was even planning on excluding you from the tests." she began lowering the paste to my mouth. "Make him understand your pain, your hate... your power~. You are in control of this relationship, if you want chocolate, take it, if you want Coaxium, take it, if you want Nick~… take him~." she started kissing down Tali's neck, causing her to shiver and breathe heavily, that Devil!

"Be strong Tali! Roll a Wisdom check! The J-Familia doesn't share sweets! They take! The second she gets the chocolate she'll betray you! Be strong!" I can smell the blandness!

"THERE HE GOES AGAIN!" Julee hissed into Tali's ear, "You are strong, powerful, who is he to tell you to be something you already are. Show him, show him how much stronger you are!" Julee reached out shoving her thumb to keeping me from shutting it close, it didn't stop me from biting, nothing rough but enough to get my point across. Julee just giggled like wind chimes on a summer's day, "He has so much spirit, let's take it for ourselves~." Tali was lost in Julee's power and the paste was too close. Oh gods, NOOOOO!

"Are you idiots done," Jenny's gruff words broke the mood. We slowly looked over to her, she was giving us an annoyed look. "I wanna get a beer and a sandwich and I don't want to see a bunch of horny idiots ruining my snack. If I wanted that I would have gone to the cockpit."

"Jenny~," Kasumi hissed, "I was watching that!" We slowly looked over to a smirking Kasumi and a blushing Zura doing a terrible job of covering her eyes. We slowly looked around the bar finding a few more people, either blushing or hiding smirks. Tali then slowly looked back to me, her flushed look of confidence and pride was now burning red with embarrassment, looking down at where she was sitting, no doubt feeling Julee's warmth and saliva on her neck. She tried getting up, but Julee's tail was wrapped around her waist keeping her in place.

"J-J-Julee?" she stuttered, eyes wide and body shaking.

"Yeees~, my sweet Quarian roll?" Julee asked with an innocent smile on her face that could do no harm.

"C-Can you let me go?" she begged.

"Mmm~, No~." she held her closer, "I have no reason to~," she stage-whispered into her ear, Causing poor Tali to shiver. "And you're so warm~." This is why you shouldn't make deals with Devils; they tend to gain the upper hand and don't let go when they do.

"I-I-I-I-"

"I'll tell you what~, I still want another model~," Julee teased blowing into her ear, causing Tali to squeak, "And you just so happen to be the right size~."

"Y-you would let me go?" Tali squeaked.

Julee nuzzled into her neck, "Of course~. Just sign here~," she pulled out a contract. How long has she had that!? Does she just carry it around? Tali didn't give it a second thought and signed, getting Julee to let her go. She jumped to her feet and rushed to the door. "Oh! And Tali!" She caught Tali before she ran out of the room. Julee tapped her blue lips, "My lipstick won't fade for 3 days~." Tali's face looked ready to catch on fire, slapping her hand to her neck before she ran out of the room, "So cute~." she dragged her fingers down my chest as she got up, before passing Jenny some gloves, "You did wonderful my dear~."

"Hol-y-shit!" Kasumi gasped, "I didn't see this coming!" Neither did I! What the hell!? "Jenny you were in on this!?"

Jenny just huffed, "Duh, what do I care if they fuck on the floor~, if they want carpet burn that's their business," she grinned putting on the gloves, "I can punch really hard with these?"

Julee nodded, "Of course~."

"Wait!" Kasumi screamed, "How did you this was going to happen!?"

Julee laughed, before smirking at us, "Who do you think gave Tali the idea?" she went on a long-detailed plan, on how she subtly manipulated Tali by pointing out how bad the Nutrient paste tasted, how good it would feel to get back at me for not giving her food, stunning me by using my omni-tool, getting me on the floor and blocking my escape, she would then get Tali drunk on power, and right before she got her revenge, she had Jenny ride in, breaking Tali out of her power trip, and into her... tender mercies.

"Was Shepard also a part of it?" Kasumi asked.

"Evilness no~, he came out of nowhere, man can be a bit of a rogue for a warrior sometimes. I doubt he would like to see his sister fall into my trap, My brother didn't like how some of his friends hit on us. So, I had to get rid of him."

"The omni-tool~," Zura gasped.

"Yes, I find it delicious that it was Tali's lessons that helped me activate his fish alarm. He really should have bought that automatic fish feeder," she laughed like a mad woman.

"That is... Extremely convoluted," Kasumi pointed out, "I mean, so many things could have gone wrong, Tali doesn't straddle Nick, the paste could taste okay, Tali could have shaken off your power play, Shepard could have stayed, you could have failed to hack his omni-tool. There were way too many moving parts!"

"Except~, I talked about Nick's hips being his weakness out loud, about how he carries snacks with him, I trained Nick to get a good grip when one of us sits on him, put sawdust in the paste, I've been slowly seducing Tali with my natural musk reinforcing my smell with good ideas, practice my hacking since I got my omni-tool, and I've been reminding Shepard about his fish." she raised her omni-tool getting a chime. She leaned forward, eyes glowing, "I'm not perfect, but damn if I don't try~." she backed away with a smile, "And now I have my three Quarian models~!" she cheered skipping away.

.

.

.

We just sat there in that silence.

"Oh damn, she crazy~," Jenny pointed out.

"Do... do you think she has a plan for me?" Kasumi asked. "She... she can't, right? I mean, she told me her plan... unless that's part of her plan."

I just laid back on the floor, before I leaned back up, "Three Quarian Models?"

-/-

Our first Chocolate test went... as well as we expected. We did learn some things, like artificial chocolate had a different effect on Quarians. We concluded that my Magic Chocolates may have mimicked whatever the Artificial sweets used. Normal chocolates seemed to just make them happy, at least that's what we were able to deduce by their humming and squealing.

The tests didn't end there, Mordin and I made milkshakes, donuts, pies, candies, muffins, fruits, soda, juice, artificial and natural, anything and everything we could get our hands on. Those poor Quarians were stuffed by the end of the tests, they had to sleep most of the day. Lia was the first to rise, which we chalked to her Chi and Magic, she felt fine and ready for anything. Tali and Zura on the other hand woke with a tummy ache, whining and acting like they were going to die any minute. Tali moaned out that only Chocolate could cure them... we left them to rot.

At the end of the day, we concluded that something in the Artificial Chocolate was acting like a high-powered Catnip that sent Quarians into overload, we were going to need a larger test sample but as long as I didn't use any magic or Artificial chocolate it should be fine.

We still had other tests, but they could wait. We had other things to do.

"So, Hackett isn't just going to rob us, right?" I asked Shepard. We were standing in the cockpit with Dogmeat, Joker, and EDI, watching the dreadnought SSV Everest slowly pull up next to us.

"No, we have the green light from Anderson," Shepard shrugged, he was dressed in his Sunday's best, all his metals, military attire, freshly shaved, and hair perfectly buzzed.

"Oh yeah, cuz the military never did things behind people's backs~," Joker drawled.

"Admiral Hackett is one of the most decorated officers in the Alliance Navy," EDI pointed out, "he is a living legend."

Joker just scoffed, "All I know about the guy was that we were his personal errand boys. There are some Crazy cults over there, clean that up, our biotics are upset because we don't treat them right, do something about that, Batarians are trying to crash an asteroid into one of our planets, remind them who's in charge. At one point I was pretty certain we were the entire Alliance Navy, and all other ships were paper cutouts floating through space."

"I wouldn't say that to his face," Shepard muttered.

"Everest to Normandy, do you copy?" someone came over the Comms.

"This is Normandy, we copy," EDI called back.

"We're docking, be ready to receive the boarding party."

"Copy," EDI answered.

It took a moment, but the Ships connected with a space bridge. Five fully armed Alliance marines were the first to greet us. There were some familiar faces.

"Ash," Shepard said, looking her in the eye.

"Shepard."

"Awkward~," Joker muttered, "Don't I get a cold hello. You know, me, Joker, saved your life a few times, you remember me?"

"Didn't think you would join Cerberus," She hissed.

"Hey! I joined Shepard!" He stood to his full height, standing 4 inches taller than her, much to her shock. "I wasn't going to climb the military ladder to a place that tried washing his honor down the drain," he growled.

"Jeff," EDI held him back.

"We didn't come here to start a fight Lieutenant Commander," Admiral Hackett called out as he walked onto the ship. He sounded like he gargled rocks with his cereal. He had an aura of a man who has seen shit and done much more. He reminded me a bit of Loghain, authority just radiated off him. if you've ever met an old person who works in a dangerous profession, you know he's probably the most dangerous man in the room.

"Sorry Sir," Ashley got back in position.

Shepard and Joker saluted, their Military training kicking in on instinct.

Human, Master strategist

Steven  Hackett

Lvl: 32

Age: 51

HP: 600/600

Str: serious old man strength

Vit: works out with his troops

Dex: creaky joints

Int: can out play you in 4-D chess and checkers at the same time

Wis: an ounce of kindness  prevents a lifetime of hate

Cha: living legend

Luk: luck of the devil

Ailments:

Bad hip (140MP)

hypertension (120 MP)

Gallstones (50 MP)

Slow metabolism (90 MP)

Joint pain (50 MP)

Hackett was born in Buenos Aires in 2134. When his mother died in 2146, he was placed in the Advanced Training Academy for Juveniles, where his affinity for science and leadership quickly became evident. Hackett enlisted in 2152, volunteering for high-risk missions to colonize space beyond the Sol Relay. He was commissioned as a second lieutenant in 2156 and participated in the First Contact War the following year. His rare ascent from enlisted man to admiral remains an Alliance legend.

He knows who you are and is willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

"As you were," he ordered, getting Joker and Shepard to return to normal. "Good to see that death didn't take your training."

"If anything, it reinforced it sir," Shepard joked.

"Mmm~," Hackett scanned the cockpit landing on me.

"Steven~," I saluted nonchalantly. Clearly, some of his soldiers didn't like that but didn't make a move.

"Meat," Dogmeat greeted, getting Steven to raise an eyebrow at the dog.

"I'm technically Fereldan nobility, dogs are a big part of our culture," I explained, "When greeting others of high status, it's important to bring your dog with you, it shows that others not of your race are willing to follow you. It also shows your trustworthiness; Dogs have the ability to tell the character of an individual at first glance."

"That's ridiculous," Ashley huffed.

"Yes~," I drawled, rolling my eyes, "you know what's also ridiculous? Giant space robots that kill all sentient life in the Galaxy every 50,000 years, space wizards that travel dimensions, people coming back from the dead. Get your head out of your ass Lieutenant, the outside galaxy is beyond ridiculous, if you're lucky you might be able to see some of it~."

"Meat~," Dogmeat chuffed, shaking his head.

"He doesn't like you," I translated.

"Meat."

"He thinks you're the kind of person who would leave him to die when the going gets tough."

"Meat."

"But he does like your... conditioner?"

"Meat~."

"Sorry he meant your breath, something about a meat sandwich, I'm still a little new to 'Dog-anesse'." I turned to Steve, "You want me to get rid of those gallstones?" I asked.

He gave me an amused smirk, "I'm guessing you're Nick Walters."

"That's me, smarter than your average tuna fish, reasonably good-looking, easily manipulated by beautiful women~, a pleasure to meet you." I stuck out my hand for a shake.

He stared at it for a moment, before shaking it. man had a good grip, with callous fingers. I healed his Ailments, lighting him up for a moment, his guards didn't like that, but before they did anything stupid the light show ended. His body still gave off a bit of a glow, but it faded after a moment.

Steve stretched out his limbs and popped his joints, "That was more than just Gallstones."

"In for a copper~," I shrugged, "Might as well give the rest of it a tone up. Joints, hypertension, hips," I summoned a hamburger, "Your metabolism. You should eat. Healing is a two-way street; your body is going to need food to energize its newly refreshed body."

Ashley pointed her rifle at me, "STEP AWAY-"

"Clothes beam~," I drawled, hitting Ashley in the chest changing her armor into a leather bikini top and a loincloth, and her gun into a crude wooden spear.

"WHA!?" she screamed, dropping her spear and covering her body. Shepard choked on his spit, and Joker started snickering under his breath. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

"What did you think was going to happen when you point a gun at a wizard?" I asked. "Be happy I didn't turn you into a newt~. Are you by any chance an idiot? Cuz not 30 seconds ago I told him I was going to heal him. You need to focus and stop imagining Shepard in booty shorts," I teased.

"Why are you like this~," Shepard muttered.

"I heard jokes are a good way to break the ice." I whispered back, "Why do you think I'm Joker's best man."

"You are not my best man, Wrex is my best man," Joker whispered, we gave him a strange look, "I lost a bet."

"Change me back!" Ashely interrupted us.

"... you're annoying, so no. I don't like you, you are not my friend, you're not even my ally, don't demand things from me." I turned to Hackett, "So Anderson told me you have a pilot for the X-8? Not gonna lie, I was just planning on using a VI, that way no one was in danger."

"Lieutenant, return to the Everest and get a change of... armor," Hackett ordered.

"BELAY THAT!" a voice ordered from the airlock. Shepard snapped ramrod straight, eyes as wide as dinner plates. A red-haired woman no taller than 5'5 walked into the cockpit; she was wearing a similar outfit as Hackett but her uniform had an N7 on her chest.

Human barbarian

Hannah 'battle axe' Shepard

Lvl: 36

Age:  53

HP:  800/800

Str: serious old woman strength

Vit: runs her crew into the ground, literally

Dex: can drop-kick you and land on her feet

Int: punch first ask questions later

Wis: a smile can break a man as good as any fist

Cha: she's pretty, in a deadly amazon kind of way

Luk: makes her own luck

Ailments:

Carpal tunnel

Weak joints

Busted hips

PTSD

Hypertension

Slow metabolism

Born in 2135, Hannah Shepard was born on earth on the mean streets of New Amsterdam, Netherlands. Taking over most of the city's underworld through blood, sweat, and other people's broken bones, she was feared throughout the European league's underworld for being ruthless. It came to the shock of many that she joined the system alliance out of the blue one day ,  followed by getting married not long after, no one was more surprised than her. But just because she left the gang life didn't mean the gang life left her, many who used to follow her felt angry and betrayed by her actions , so they challenged  her for her power, any who tried were later found recruited into the Alliance... Forcibly.

She made a name for herself on multiple missions, from First Contact to pirates, her Ship the SSV Orizaba is feared by Pirate and Council alike, for whoever gets in her way is chopped down.

She knows who you are and is not impressed, but her son stuck up for you so she's giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Shepard's mom was a mafia boss!?

"WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR WEAPON LIEUTENANT!?" she roared, getting Ashley to scramble for her spear, but Hannah's foot was already pinning it to the floor, "is your weapon on the floor Williams?" That was not a question.

"I-"

"Was it slapped out of your hands? Are you telling me that an enemy was able to sneak up on you without you noticing? I know you didn't drop it, right?" Hannah was practically looming over Ashley. "I trained you better."

"Ma~," John called out, only to back off at the glare she shot him.

"AND YOU~," she hissed, quick as a whip her hand shot out and grabbed him by the ear, bending Shepard to his knees. "I had to get an email from that little shit Anderson to learn that you were alive."

"AH! MA! MA! You're going to tear it off! MA, PLEASE!" Shepard cried, holding his mother's hand.

"Captain~," Hackett drawled.

Hannah just tsked, letting go of John and Ashley. Before eyeballing me, "So you're the Punk that has the Brass crawling over themselves to kiss your ass huh~? You're shorter than I thought you'd be."

"Uh, tha-" DANGER! I made my body incorporeal allowing Hannah's foot to phase through my crotch, "HOLY!? The hell you hag!?"

"You think I'm just going to let you mess with my Daughter-in-law!? You two-bit magician."

"Daughter-in-law!?" John asked.

"OI, who are you calling a two-bit Magician? You pint-sized thug?" I growled, staring her down, "I don't care if you're John's mama, I'll whoop your ass, granny~."

"You little shits grow bolder and bolder every year." A vein on her forehead was thumping with rage.

"HANNAH! Calm down ya pint-sized firecracker!" We snapped our gaze to the end of the hall finding an annoyed Chakwas.

"KARIN!?" Hannah gasped. "What the hell are you doing here!? You told me you were going on vacation!"

"It's my vacation, I can go wherever I want," Chakwas huffed.

"You know her?" I asked.

"We used to run in similar circles when we were younger," she waved away my question.

"YOU USED TO BE A GANGSTER!?" I yelled.

"HEY! Who are you calling a gangster!?" Hannah growled, "I was a legitimate businesswoman!"

"Your business was crime!" I countered, dodging an uppercut.

"Say that to my face!"

"I DID! Do you need me to crouch down there so you can hear me you shrimp!?" She aimed another punch at my chin, but I went incorporeal, before grabbing her face, healing her ailments, and tossing her away, only for her to land on her feet like a damn cat.

She flexed her muscles and cracked her joints, "What's this for?"

"I don't want any excuses after I kick your ass," I growled, cracking my fists.

"ENOUGH!" Hackett ordered freezing us in place. "I can't take you anywhere Hannah, I swear."

"Huh!? What are you talking about?" Hannah questioned, "It's called aggressive negotiations."

"We're not negotiating!" he huffed. "We're just here to pick something up for testing!"

"... oh yeah~," she turned to John, "so are you going to show me around or are you going to lay there all day?"

"OI! Apologize for attacking me!" I demanded.

She gave me a confused look, "Huh!? Why would I apologize to a little shit like you? Get over yourself~. Ash, follow," she ordered walking deeper into the ship.

I was about to leave a boot-sized imprint on her backside, but EDI and Joker held me back. "Let me at her! Let me at her!"

"Calm down!" EDI ordered, "This is my body you're fighting in!"

"YEAH! I'm the only one that gets to mess up my girlfriend's insides!" Joker teased.

"JEFF!?" EDI blushed.

"Get a room you two~," I huffed getting control of myself.

"We would but you keep fighting in it~," EDI huffed.

I turned and gave her a long look, "You've come a long way," I smiled.

"Yeah~, turns out having sex is great and when I'm not doing it, I become violently angry, so stop fighting and get out," she ordered shoving me out of the cockpit before it sealed itself.

I turned to a confused Hackett and his group of soldiers, "Space madness, nothing to see here."

"Right~, I'm guessing that's the AI Anderson told me about? The one married to the Pilot?" Hackett asked.

"The very same. So, with John kowtowing to his mother why don't I show you to the Puma X-8."

He gave me another look, "I don't think you can just name it that."

"No worries, I have diplomatic immunity," I smiled.

"... I don't think that's how that works either."

-/-

John Shepard POV

"This is the Armory," I showed my mom Jacob's Workshop, it was magically expanded, with a large area reinforced for weapon testing and holograms for quick ideas for weapon modifications.

"Oh!" Jacob called out turning to us, only to spot a cavewoman with a spear, "... Nick?"

"Nick. Mom, this is Jacob Taylor, the Armory Chief," I introduced Jacob, who was even more shocked to meet my mother.

Ma tsked, walking around the room, checking the guns with Ash.

Jacob slid up next to me, "What is 'Battle Axe' Shepard and your girlfriend doing on the Normandy?" he whispered to me.

"I have no idea," I whispered back, "I thought only Hackett was going to show up."

"John!?" Ma called out.

"Yeah!?"

"Where are your fancy weapons, the ones your little magic man made you?" she huffed looking at the weapon Jacob had on the rack.

"Uh, oh, uh, those are under lock and key, they're rather powerful and we don't want accidents," I answered.

She gave me a long look, "Well?"

"Uh, right~." I looked over to the large vault Nick put in the room, man loved his vaults.

"Shepard you can't be serious? You know Nick isn't going to like this~, one of the few rules he had was not to play with the dangerous magical weapons," Jacob warned.

"It's fine~, it's just for a minute, we'll put them right back." I walked over to the vault, added the pin number, scanned my hand, signed the consent form, blew the breathalyzer, and turned the wheel to open the vault.

The Weapon's vault was large with every weapon ever made for the crew, from guns to swords to armor, everything had runes and was given its own space and light show with a full description of what the weapon could do. Nick loved to show off.

"How does anyone find something in this place?" Ashley huffed.

"Right over here," I led them over to the weapons console, "What are you looking for?"

"Something that removes annoyances with deadly efficiency," Ma answered.

"... Ma, that's everything in this room."

"Don't get sassy with me young man~," she warned.

"How about~," I started typing away at the controls, "My Gauss rifle." Entering my search, a hologram appeared in front of us of the weapon Nick gifted me. Selecting it a beam of light lit up deep in the vault before the gun came flying to the console. "WHOA!" I called out stopping my mom from grabbing the weapon, "No-no, don't do that. You're not part of the security system. If you were to reach in and grab the gun this whole place would go into lockdown trapping us inside with dozens of golems, no way out, and every weapon sinking into the floor. Everything in here is booby-trapped." I warned.

"That's... a bit overkill~, don't you think?" Ash asked.

"There are some dangerous things in here," I shrugged, taking the gun, "Better safe than sorry. Come, let's test this bad boy out~." I led them out the door, picking up some ammo on the way out, Ma had that look in her eye she had for weapons of mass destruction... and Pa when she came back for shore leave. The horror.

Half an hour later, and over a hundred bullets fired, Ma was finally satisfied.

"I'm happy you're happy~," I smiled reaching for the gun only for her to pull it away, "Ma?"

"... sorry son, this is mine now."

"MA~!"

"Don't you yell at your mother!"

"Ma, that's not a toy, it's a powerful magic-infused weapon, you can't just take it! You don't know how to keep it clean, the magic used, the ammo required, and we both know the brass will confiscate it the moment you get back to the Everest," I pointed out.

"The Brass can eat my shorts! I have enough dirt on them to bury them up to their necks!" I just glared at her, "Are you really going to take this away from your poor mother? After your dad died?"

"Pa died 10 years ago! You can't keep using the dead husband excuse anymore!"

"Oh, I see, you've moved on quickly," she huffed.

"No, don't you try and guilt trip me! He was my dad and I loved him too!"

She started crying, "Oh! So, you don't love me! Is that it!?"

"FINE! FINE! Keep the damn thing!"

She immediately stopped crying, "Thank you son, I love you. I hope you're paying attention Williams! This is the only way to get Shepard men to behave."

Ash blushed, "Uh-"

"Ma, we're not engaged," I corrected.

"Oh... so my son is going to be a bachelor for the rest of his life? No grandchildren for me to love? Is this where the Shepard line comes to an end?"

"MA! Giant ancient warships are coming to end the galaxy as we know it!"

"OH! So there's no time for romance!? No time for love!? Do you know how me and your father met!?" Here we go again~. "Back before I joined the Alliance, when I was a... Legitimate businesswoman," gangster, "I was having a disagreement with some... coworkers," other gangsters, "and your father-"

"-Showed up, saved your life, and carried you off to a life of domestic bliss~," I finished.

"Wrong! He got his ass kicked... I mean, had a heated debate that he lost. But he didn't run away, he stood his ground against... Trained debaters, after I helped him, I learned he was shipping off with the Alliance, and you know what I did!?"

"Chased after him~."

CHASED AFTER HIM! Johnny~," she squished my cheeks, "I'm happy you're trying to save the galaxy, but don't forget about your well being, if you don't look after yourself, you're going to find yourself alone with no one to come home to. Promise me that you'll keep an open mind, and not to give up on love?"

"... I promise Ma," I smiled down at her.

She patted my cheeks, "Good, Now take me to the Kitchen, I'm hungry."

I gave a chuckle, "Come on, it's downstairs."

-/-

"You live in a bloody madhouse," Ma huffed, looking at the cafeteria.

I rolled my eyes, "What's wrong with it?"

"It's too fancy! Marines don't need all this frilly nonsense. Shove nutrient paste down their throats and get them into battle."

"This is why Pa did the cooking~," I huffed.

"Baa, you were just a picky eater~," she waved away my answer, "Hey Cook! what's on the menu!?"

Gardner gave us a quick look, "Hutspot, Stamppots, and two Dubbele Boterham met ham, with 2 Oliebollen for dessert with pure sugar powder." He placed the food in front of us.

Ma gave me some side eye, "Nick was doing a round-the-world menu, we're on the Netherlands~."

"Uh-huh~, I'll be the judge of that." she carried her tray to an empty booth. She gave everything a sniff. "Smells right."

"Ma, just eat your food, and stop acting like you know anything about Dutch cuisine," I huffed taking a bite from my Hutspot.

"Hey, I was raised on this stuff! I know a thing or two." she took a spoonful of her Stamppots. "Mmm, not bad~."

"Oh please, we both know you've never eaten anything this good. You live off nutrient paste and water."

"Ash? ASH!" Tali called out running over to our booth, moving me aside.

"I'm eating here~!"

"Shush! ASH! It's so good to see you... what are you wearing?" Tali asked.

Ashley just blinked at her, "Do I know you?"

Tali blinked, "It's me!" She covered her face but kept her eyes visible.

"TALI!? Your mask!? I can see your face!" Ash screamed.

"Magic~," she explained, before looking over to my mother, "Hannah' Shepard Vas Orizaba!? It's good to see you again."

"Ah~, you're that young punk my boy dragged all over the galaxy, you look good kid. You punted your father's balls to the other side of the galaxy yet?" Ma asked.

"Oh, uh, not really~." she scratched the back of her neck.

"You know each other?" I didn't know they'd met.

"Met her at your funeral. It's good to see you got rid of that helmet, I wasn't going to say anything, but it looked kinda dumb, good to see it was just a phase," she nodded, eating one of her cheese sandwiches.

Tali squinted at her, "Are you... part Krogan?" she whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing! It's good to see you again," she smiled. "Ash, are you joining The Normandy? Please say yes, John and Garrus have been outvoting me in important decisions."

"We needed that pool table," I countered.

"And the poker table and the dartboard and ice cream machine! You become a multi-millionaire and you start buying stupid things! Don't get me started on the new model ships," She hissed.

"John~," Ash sighed. "Really, we had an intervention."

"I have it under control~," I hissed.

Ash sighed, "No, you don't. You have a problem; I'm surprised I'm not swimming in ships."

"It got to the point where Nick had to enchant his toys so they could fly, a good chunk of them are in the Shuttle Bay flying around," Tali huffed.

"I thought you had control of his money?" Ashe sighed at Tali, which got me to start giggling, much to Tali's annoyance.

I smirked at Tali, "Well? Aren't you going to tell them what happened?"

"Shut up," she hissed, before coughing, "Well. You see... with the fact that I no longer need my suit... I, uhm, may have gotten a bit... inebriated~."

"She got drunk and got a tattoo," I cut to the chase.

"TALI!?" Ash was shocked as Ma laughed.

"It's a tiny one! You can barely see it!"

"It's huge~, it covers most of her back."

"SHUT UP!" She punched me in the shoulder, but I couldn't stop laughing.

"Oh, Tali~," Ash sighed, "Of all my sisters I hoped you would come out normal, but you're just like the rest of us~."

"Hey, I am normal... mostly~, by human standards, probably. You told me Abby once drop-kicked a cow. Which I learned was a huge animal with horns! Who does that!?"

"It was aggressive," Ash excused.

"Didn't Sarah once punch a kangaroo?" I asked.

"It was also aggressive."

"And you once punched Wrex," I added.

"That one's not fair, Wrex is always aggressive!"

"And was reaching for the last cupcake~," Garrus teased, sandwiching me between him and Tali.

"Garrus, is Liara and Wrex around the corner?" Ash asked.

"Wrex is too busy saving the krogan race and Liara is doing some rather... shady stuff, like spectre level shady," I explained, "She didn't even tell me."

"Aunt Jane?" Julee called out, she was carrying a book.

"I'm sorry?" Ma asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you look just like my aunt," Julee explained.

"I don't think I've ever had horns~," Ma teased.

Julee shook her head, "Not on my mother's side of the family," she brought up her omni-tool, showing off a picture of a woman who looked remarkably like my mother, the only difference I could tell was the small scar on her lip. The man next to her caught my attention, he looked exactly like me. They were blank-faced, almost not wanting to be next to each other. All around them were other humans looking unflinchingly at the... Painter, was this a portrait? As in someone painted the other 30 people, in what seemed like funeral clothes?

I pointed to the man, "Uh~?"

"Mmm? Oh yeah, that's my pops~," I could only blink at that, "Yeah it was a bit weird when I first met you~, I thought you were going to ground me when we first met," she laughed. Ma just looked at the picture, then at me, to the picture then to Julee.

"They don't seem to be happy?" Ma pointed out.

"Ah~, well, pop's side of the family are... Legitimate businesspeople~." of course~, "My old man was in line to inherit the family business after he came back from the War of Fall. Dad didn't want to lead, he found the business... Not to his liking. When he made his intention clear that he wasn't going to lead and marry my mother, things got... tense. There were... disagreements, yelling, and words that couldn't be taken back, I didn't really meet Aunt Jane until I was 23 on my pilgrimage, when I visited the City of Water, it was a little awkward, I kind of became the mediator between her and my dad."

"Mmm~," Ma looked at the photo, "You have a picture of your family?"

"Mmm? Oh yeah! I took a photo of last year's family reunion," she flipped to a new photo, this picture came from the Camera.

"Whoa~," Ash whistled. That was putting it lightly, where her father's picture was filled with dower and serious-looking people, Julee's family photo was filled with at least five hundred people who couldn't hold still to save their lives, and they weren't all human. There were easily over 30 different species of all shapes and sizes, young and old, the only thing they had in common were their horns and tails.

Julee laughed, "And this is just my side of the family," she zoomed, "That's me, Jakky, my older sister Rose, my older brother Jason, my mom with my baby brother James, and the one in the center is my Gran-Gran," she showed her immediate family. "If you want, I could give you the whole family list later," She flipped to a new photo, "These are the family friends and partners," this group was equally as big and diverse. There were, giants, slimes, goblins, centaurs, and dragons, I'm pretty sure one of them had bunny ears and a crown, "There is a 'J' in every city!" she laughed.

"Nick doesn't look too well?" Tali pointed, it was true, he looked exhausted.

Julee grew a little sheepish, "Uh, well, you see~."

"The J-Familia takes their Sweets very seriously~," Nick growled walking into the Kitchen with Hackett and the rest of the Marines.

Julee gave an awkward laugh, "Yeah, remember when you tried putting Nick in a box to give you chocolate for the rest of life Tali?"

"You ate chocolate?" Ash hissed, getting Tali to look at the floor.

"We kinda succeeded~," Julee laughed.

"Four days of nonstop cooking~," Nick shivered. "I had to drug them with sleeping powdered." He led Hackett to a booth for him and his soldiers.

Julee just continued to laugh. "Anyway~, Tali, here's what you should be looking forward to~!" she passed her the book, "Payday is at the end of the week, Bye~. Have fun talking with your Mom Shep~." she skipped away.

"Payday?" Ash asked. Tali didn't look at her, just stared at the book as if it told her how she was going to die. "Tali?" Tali slowly opened to the first page only to immediately slam it close.

"So you ready to admit you had a problem?" I asked.

"Shut up~," she groaned, covering her face.

"What's with her?" Ash asked.

Garrus ate some of his food, "She learned actions had consequences~," he teased.

"I hate you; I hate you both," Tali hissed.

"You can quit you know~," I pointed out.

"No, I can't, she still had that photo of hers~, if my father sees that picture... I'm pretty sure he'll have a heart attack."

"Even better!" Ma cheered. "You can't be blamed for acts of god."

"Ma~."

"I'm just saying, I met the man once, and he told her to get over your death because the fleet needed her. He's an asshole." she huffed. I looked over to Tali.

"It was at your memorial; he was already doing something in the citadel and decided to pick me up."

"I kicked him in the nuts," Ma huffed. I'm never going to get that Human-Quarian fleet~. "Still, what's so bad about your job?" she reached over and snatched Tali's book before she got to do anything.

"Wait!"

Ma didn't listen looking through the book, "These are kinda cute~. Ulysses would have loved some of these~." I didn't need to hear that.

"Uh, Tali? What exactly is your new job?" Ash asked.

"... Model~," she blushed. Ash just blinked at her, "I get paid 10,000 credits a week!" she added.

"10,000!?" Ash choked on her food.

"Nick isn't good with money~," I shrugged, "But he also understands we can't buy off the Reapers, so he might as well buy everything he can while Creds still work."

"Is that why half a dozen weapon companies are pumping out Thanix cannons like rabbits and selling them to the Alliance for cheap?"

"We're also selling them to the Turian," I shrugged, "We've come to the logical conclusion that Earth and Palaven are going to be hit hard right off the bat, so we are trying to get as many surface-to-space cannons finished and placed on as many planets as possible."

"Hackett and Anderson have been buying them in bulk, I've been playing escort for the last few days. I'm guessing the Frigates, Corvettes, and Fighters are also yours?" she asked.

"Correct~. Most of them are being bought by the Migrant Fleet and the Alliance because they have a human design."

"Do you think that will be enough?" Ma asked.

"Absolutely not, the Reapers end the Protheans, we don't have half their fleet but I'm hoping we were able to find something in the Archives on Earth or Thessia to help us turn the tables," I sighed, "It's a long shot but I don't see us winning with what we have now, Nick did promise to enhance every AA gun on Earth, and you saw what he did on Horizon~," I pointed to Ash.

"Didn't the GARDIAN melt after three shots?"

"That was only because he didn't know what he was doing, just slapping as much power as he could onto the AA gun. He thinks that now that he has a better understanding of mass-effect weaponry, he'll be able to make one that can do repeating fire. So, if you can make as many AA guns as possible on earth so he can enhance them, that would be great~."

"I'll show you the Thanix cannon after lunch," Garrus offered.

"Have you tested it?" Ma asked.

"Only on a few asteroids, shattered them into pieces~," Garrus answered. "And with the increased power thanks to the Arc reactors Nick used for the Cannon it takes less power from the ship and allows us to fire more often, but I think we can cut the time if we-" Garrus fell into his calibration frenzy. I'm just happy Ma had the same problem, not even Tali talked about the engine. I love him like a brother, but damn man~, you need to relax~.

Finishing our lunch, we showed her and Hackett the magically improved Thanix cannon, where Ma, Hackett, and Garrus talked shop for about an hour, going over every little thing from the gun barrel to the arc reactor, it felt like I was a kid again, going clothes shopping with my mom, I just sat on one of the benches in the room, I'm just happy I had an Omni-tool or I would have died of boredom.

Thankfully it came to an end, unfortunately, it became Tali's time to shine, as our next stop was the Engine room. There was a weird interaction with Zaeed where he jumped like a frightened cat when he spotted my mother, and disappeared back into his room. After another hour of Tali going over the engine room, we finally reached the Shuttle Bay.

Nick, Sky, Dagna, and Lyna were helping some of Hackett's marines place some equipment into the X-8.

"Alright Cortez, one more time~," Nick called out.

"Again!? When Hackett told me I was going to get the chance to help the Alliance and the brave men and women that saved my husband, I didn't think it would have involved so many Lists." a marine next to Nick muttered looking at his own list.

"No discutas con el Brujo! He'll turn you into a frog!" a marine who's never skipped a day at the gym called out.

"Thank you Mr. Vega~, I'll take that into consideration~," Cortez drawled.

"Robert! Your husband is going to get us eaten!" Vega cried out to the ship.

There was a laugh from the Fighter, "Ooh trust me! I've had his meat in my mouth before!"

Nick and Vega gave a chortle as Cortez groaned at his husband's crude humor. "Can we do this~?" Cortez huffed.

"Alright~, Alright~," Nick coughed, "one and a half years of rations for six people?"

"Check."

"Clothes?"

"Check."

"Portal that connects to the Everest in case of Time-space shenanigans?" Nick put a portal on the Puma X-8?

"Check."

"Golem maid to keep the ship clean?"

"Check."

"... One, husband?"

"Wait, I'm an add-on?" Robert asked.

"Check." Cortez ignored him.

"One, Blockhead marine?"

"OI~," Vega protested.

"Check."

"Quarian built VI?"

"Check."

"Toothbrush?"

"Check."

"300 FTL Comm. Buoys?"

"Check."

"One translated book on creating and fixing a hyperspace engine?"

"Check."

"Emergency equipment to build a hyperspace engine?"

"Check."

"Emergency Mini-arc reactor?"

"Check."

"Vega's weights?"

"Check!" Vega called out.

"... Common sense?"

"... Check~?"

"Close enough~. Sign here, initial here, Fingerprint here." Nick passed him a contract that Cortez signed, before passing it to Hackett who also signed it, before passing it to Nick who gave it to Telsa. "Sign this one too." He passed Cortez another contract.

"What's this one for?"

"So, I'm not blamed for any sort of time travel, dimension-hopping, or Body swapping nonsense," Nick seriously answered.

"Is that a serious possibility?" I asked.

Nick gave a shrug, "I wanna say that it's a very low chance, but it's important to have my bases covered." Cortez gave Hackett a look that he shrugged to. Cortez signed it and passed it to Hackett who also signed it, passing it to Vega and Robert, ending with Telsa. "Nice," he passed him another contract, "This one is for the power bestowal~. I am not responsible for any property damage, Women, or men, you seduce, any delusions of grandeur, or any strange superpowers I knew nothing about."

"I'm guessing they're the first to get Chi?" I asked.

"Yep, Hackett and Anderson gave the go-ahead and I had EDI check their records. They're clean." Nick answered. Cortez signed the contract. "Good, this will feel a little weird~."

"Weird? Weird ho-" Nick didn't let Cortez finish as he placed his hand on his head and lit him up like a star.

"SON OF A BITCH!" and I was standing not 5 steps away~. It took me a moment but I was able to regain my sight. "STOP DOING THAT!"

"I'm going to kill that little shit~," Ma growled rubbing her eyes.

"Whoa~," a voice whispered. Turning I found Cortez, half naked, having hulked out of his uniform. Standing at about 6'1, 5 inches taller than before, his muscles were on full display for the galaxy to see, with his pants seconds away from calling it quits. "Okay... is that my voice?" it was slightly deeper.

"Yes-yes~, you're bigger and have a sexier voice, blah blah blah~," Nick drawled clearly having done this a few times, "Your complimentary bathrobe~," he passed Cortez a large white bathrobe with his name stitched in what looked to be gold letters, I guess his name was Steve Cortez. Good thing too cuz his pants called it a day, as tearing of seems was heard. "Oof, I feel bad for your husband, impale the poor man why don't you." Nick teased much to Cortez's embarrassment, as he quickly covered himself.

"A little warning would be nice~," Cortez hissed.

Nick shook his head, "Where's the fun in that~. Robert? James? Who's next? Come on, guys we don't have all day~." I was prepared this time looking away from the blinding lights. Much like Cortez, Vega and Robert looked ready to fight some apocalyptic-level threats.

"Wait," Vega called out, "None of my clothes is going to fit!"

Nick summoned a table with an open sign on the front with pictures of clothes, "Step right up! Free pair of socks with your first purchase!"

"Hijo de-!? You're charging us for new clothes!?"

"Like I said, I'm not responsible for any damages you cause~."

"I call shenanigans!" Vega huffed.

"Relax, Lieutenant, the Alliance will foot the bill," Hackett called out.

"Dagna, gouge these suckers for all they have~," Nick ordered.

Dagna didn't hesitate, jumping behind the counter. "Step right up gentlemen! I have Magic underwear with your name on it! One thousand credits!" ruthless~.

"A bit cutthroat~," Hackett muttered.

"Baa~, let that be some copper pincher's problem~," Nick huffed, before pulling out another contract and passing it to Hackett.

"What's this for?" He looked over the contract.

"It's for the bribe I'm about to give you. Making sure the X-8 doesn't 'accidentally' end up in a military black site," Nick answered. I don't think you need a contract for bribes, in fact, Contracts work against bribes.

"You can trust m-" Hackett was interrupted by my Ma pushing him out of the way.

"Ignore him~, what ya got, wizard boy~."

Nick smirked summoning a suitcase, "Let's start with~," he popped the case revealing an armor chassis, "One of my custom magical armors, it can fit anyone, gives the user everything on this list," he passed my mother the list, "It's powered by a mini-arc reactor."

"That's on the chest piece~," Ma huffed. Picking up the Armor only for it to mold onto her body, "WHA!?" the armor form, completely covering her, helmet and all.

"Hannah? You, okay?" Hackett asked.

"Yeah~," she looked around the room, "it has a little tutorial. Mmm." she suddenly flew a foot in the air, "Nice~."

"Yes-yes, very nice~," Nick pulled her to the ground and removed the armor.

"Hey! I was using that!"

"It's not yours~," Nick drawled. "Be happy I'm not taking away that Gauss rifle~, clearly John can't say no to his mom. That mama's boy."

"I'm standing right here~."

"I know," Nick pulled out another suitcase, smaller this time, and he popped it open, revealing an ingot. "One Ingot of Badassium, the stuff I use to power my arc reactor, and the blueprints to build your own arc reactor." he summoned one last case, "And lastly, one Redwood golem, and a book on magic. This will make a single Wizard, the Golem will match with the first person who touches it," Nick warned. Locking up the cases. "So... do we have a bribe?" Hackett gave Nick a long look before nodding and signing the contract. Nick gave him a rock with a rune, "That's the key to the lock."

Hackett nodded to his Soldiers who quickly picked up the suitcases, "Send me the bill for the clothes. Steve, James, Robert!" Hackett called out getting the men to stand at attention. "Finish up here and fly the X-8 to the Everest."

"Sir!" they saluted.

I led Hackett and Ma back to the airlock.

"Shepard, I hope to see you out of Cerberus's clutches soon, and if anything happens know we'll be ready for your return," Hackett saluted, walking across the space bridge with his soldiers.

Ma pinched my cheeks, "Don't listen to anything Cerberus says, love you and take care."

"Love you too Ma." I watched her follow Hackett.

Ash followed her, but gave me one last look, "Don't do anything stupid~."

"You know me~," I joked.

"That's why I'm ordering you, stay safe, Skipper." the door closed behind her.

"You were supposed to kiss her," EDI pointed out.

"... Damnit~," I sighed, she was right.

"Commander!" Kelly came rushing over, "The Illusive man is calling!"

Yeah~, that's about right~."

-/-

Nick POV

"So... let me get this right. A turian patrol knocked out a collector ship, but was so heavily damaged they can't flight away and are send a distress signal?" I asked.

"Correct," Shepard answered as the team was getting ready. Shepard, Thane, Ava, Samara, Sky, Grunt, Mordin, Tali, Kasumi, and I were on the go team.

"In Council space?" I asked.

"Near the Attican and Terminus border."

"And the Turians aren't swarming the area because~?"

"Tim is blocking the signal."

"Mmm, okay~, what are we looking for? Travel logs? IFF? Weapons? Maybe just blow it up?" I asked.

"We were hoping to extract as much data as we could before testing the New Thanix cannon," Shepard pointed out clipping the M-920 Cain to his back.

"What about the one on Horizon? Did that one not have any data we could use?"

"It was scrubbed, we don't know if it was because it had a dead switch or if it was just too damaged, we're not sure about the ship we are going to, but TIM only said it was running cold. He believed the Turian patrol may have knocked out its thrusters and are waiting for pick up or are repairing the damage as we speak," Shepard answered.

"Are we hacking it?" I asked, "Can we hack Reaper tech? I thought Reapers were super advanced, wouldn't they have Trojan horses? False data that could mess with the Normandy? I'm not going to lie Shep~, this feels like a trap," I warned.

"... I agree, when The Illusive Man told me about the ship my stomach was doing flips, it's more than likely a trap, but the data is worth the risk. I hate the fact that he's lying about it though, what does he gain from risking our lives? I already told EDI to keep her firewalls ready and to have multiple redundancies," he sighed.

"Commander ETA 10 minutes," Joker called out over the comms.

"Well, let's do this~," I sighed grabbing my Gauss rifle, and walked out of the Armory with Shepard to view the Collector ship as we left FTL.

The Collector Ship was huge~, it dwarfed The Normandy. It was dead in the water illuminated by the distant star in the system, all around it were shattered Turian ships, it looked like a ship graveyard.

"Heads up," Joker warned, "Geth fighter by the entrance."

Geth fighter? What the hell? Looking out the window I found the fighter by the tiny hole the collector ship gained from fighting the Turian portal. "Shep, is that tiny hole all the turian patrol did? This is a trap. I mean, holy shit man, they didn't even make it believable! Also, a single Geth fighter? What, is it going to tow it? Nah, something is going on, we just don't have the entire picture.

"Joker, keep the guns hot, if they try and run, rip their engines to pieces," Shepard ordered.

"I hear you loud and clear, I'll make them Swiss."

Shepard and I got to the Shuttle Bay where everyone else who was going with us was already in the Shuttle.

New Quest: For every cockroach you see there are a hundred you don't.

Infiltrate the collector ship, collect the data to their base of operations, kill anything that gets in your way, and get out.

Reward: 20,000 XP, 30,000 credits, 1 golden loot box

Bonus Quest: for we are many.

There is a Geth Fighter parked at the collector ship, find out why it is here.

Reward: 10,000 XP, 20,000 credits, 1 gacha token, new crew member

Legion is on the collector ship, why?

The flyover was quiet and tense knowing we were going into a trap, there was a bit of turbulence as we passed through the Collector ship's Mass effect field.

"Tali, I thought a ship could only have a mass effect field if the Eezo engine was running?" I asked.

"That's correct, but that doesn't mean they have FTL capabilities. Much like the Puma x-8's Eezo core, not enough to go into FTL but enough to create a shield and lighten the ship. Still, something must be keeping the ship running," she hummed.

"Keep your eyes peeled," Shepard warned. "And keep an eye out for Geth, they might be working with the collectors."

The doors opened to a space monster's condo. reality beats fiction into the ground, again, sure the game did an honorable attempt at recreating space horror, but holy shit dude, it was nothing like this~.

The emergency lights were a dirty yellow that somehow made the shadows pitch black and anything illuminated a putrid honey color. There was a leak somewhere because everything had a layer of moisture as well as a thin fog that came up to our ankles, with dozens of empty pods lining the walls, floors, and ceiling, and of course, the quiet was disconcerting, a ship this size had to have thousands of people working it, but I didn't hear anything. I was just happy that I placed a dark vision rune on my helmet.

Shepard, Sky, Grunt, and I took the lead, with Thane, Ava, and Kasumi moving to flank, where Tali, Samara, and Mordin took the rear. There was only one route through the hole we entered through, well that was entirely true there were holes that the Collector could fly through to reach other parts of the ships, but we weren't sure where they might lead or what might be on the other side, so we stuck to the ground for now.

It didn't take long for us to find a room with dozens of corpses just dumped in a pile on the ground. They were all naked, some with their skin peeled off, some without limbs, from the elderly to children, it made me sick just looking at it.

"Why would they do this?" Kasumi gagged.

"Experiments, subjects, looking for something, not enough data, we need to kill collectors," Mordin answered.

"Something we agree on," Grunt huffed. "To kill the young and weak is a sign of beasts and vermin. Killing them will bring us honor."

"Tali? Do the Geth and Collectors hate each other?" I asked.

"I... don't know, why?"

I nodded to the corpse of a Collector, a single hole through its head. Thane gave it a quick look, "Single shot, powerful, ripped through its shields, more than likely a sniper," he looked around the room, pointing to a tiny hole in the wall, "Anti-martial rifle, no normal person can fire something like that."

"But can a Geth?" I asked.

Thane took a moment to think about it, "Yes," he answered. "I don't know why the Geth is killing Collectors, but I could only conclude that a machine could fire this kind of weapon, any normal person would have their arm shattered by the recoil alone."

"Any idea how long this guy has been dead?" I asked.

"Blood's still wet," Sky pointed out, before shoving the collector's body, "Body's not stiff."

"Why is that important?" Tali asked.

"Because I didn't hear anything," I answered, "That bullet couldn't have been silent, and yet there aren't Collectors swarming the place or gunfire, either every collector in this ship is dead or the Geth that came in that fighter had to be Spectre-level badasses that have mowed down any Collector resistance that came their way."

"But there aren't any other collectors," Ava pointed out.

"But why? Is the Geth leading them on a goose chase?" I muttered.

"That doesn't matter right now," Shepard brought us back to the present, "we need to get to a data terminal and get the hell out of here."

Nodding we continued our silent march deeper into the ship. We would run into dead collectors and even some husks, much to Tali's and Shepard's confusion, husks are Reaper creations, and for a Geth to kill them was unheard of. Clearly, something was up. Finally getting to the room with the Collector being tested on, Mordin quickly got to work looking over the data the collectors were working on.

"Mordin can you read any of that data?" I asked, "I seriously doubt the Reapers are using a language we can understand."

"Thought that as well, but translators work fine," Mordin hummed. "They were running tests, comparing themselves to other species, unknown why, possibly make human collectors, Mmm."

"Are they dying out or something?" I asked.

"They can't make more of themselves," EDI answered through the comms, "I ran their DNA through every database I could find, and only one species came up, the Protheans."

"Protheans?" Shepard whispered.

"So, the Collectors are just Prothean husks?" I asked.

"No," Mordin answered, "much more than a Husk, more tech, they can use tools. Organic mechs."

"Why would they do this? And why only the Protheans?" Ava asked.

"It's not only the Protheans, the Keepers in the citadel are also creations of the Reapers," Tali pointed out.

"Are they even alive?" I asked.

"No," Shepard answered, his eyes giving out a light golden glow, "Not anymore, the Reapers gutted them and stuffed them with tech."

"Then what can they do that Reapers couldn't? What is their purpose?... Shepard, what are Reapers made of?" I asked.

"... I'm not sure, why?"

"... because I stock up on materials when I craft things."

.

.

.

"You think they are using humans... to make Reapers?" Shepard asked.

"'We are each a nation', that's what Sovereign said, right? What if it meant it more literally. Can tech like that exist? My friend Shayle was once a dwarf before she was made into a War forged, what if Reapers are doing the same thing to humans? How many humans would it take to make a monster like a Reaper? Millions? Billions? Entire colonies worth?"

.

.

.

"We... need to keep moving," Shepard muttered, the truth was a scary thing to think about. We passed a cache of weapons lying on the floor which I scooped up, as well as some stuff Mordin considered important, waste not, want not.

It didn't take long for us to escape the claustrophobic tunnels and come out to the interior of the ship, unlike the game everything was still rather dark, we couldn't even see the other end of the room, but we could see tiny lights throughout the ship, it almost looked like the night sky, with hundreds of stars.

"Heads up," Ava called out pointing to a lone Geth unit, with a large hole in its chest, working on a console of some kind.

"Stop!" I hissed, casting Hold Person on the group freezing them in place.

"Nick, what the hell are you doing!" hissed Shepard, his gun pointed at the Geth's head.

"We can't kill it, if it's already downloading the Data and we kill it, the data might be deleted. I quickly released the group. Holy shit, holding one person is a simple task, but 9 people was pushing it, especially Grunt and Sky.

"So, what do we do?" Thane asked, "If we capture it, it might delete the data."

"And hacking it might not get us what we want," Tali warned.

"Then we do it the old-fashioned way~," I smirked.

"The old-fashioned way?" they asked.

-/-

Advanced Geth Mobile Platform POV

Geth 374: this is a lot of data

Geth 283: none of this is organized

Geth 1009: this is what the Heretics wanted?

Geth 672: fools~, Geth tech all the way~

Geth 532: Geth 234 reported a ship outside

Geth 372: scavenger or reinforcements?

Geth 532: unknown, tried probing the ship but we were rebuffed

Geth 849: we should get out of here; mortals would find this place creepy

Geth 746: HAHA what a baby

Geth 849: Shut up! It's too dark, we could be ambushed at any moment

Geth 0002: calm down~, who's crazy enough to come here?

"WHY HELLO THERE~!" a human called out not a foot away from us.

Geth 849: AAAAAHHHHH! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

Geth 0001: Calm down you idiot! He's talking!

"Names Nick Walters, explorer, dungeon crawler, Man of mysteries, pleasure to meet you~. I would shake your hand, but I can see you're busy," Walters-explorer laughed.

Geth 894: what do we do!?

Geth 722: follow my lead

"What do you want meat bag?"

Walters-Explorer just blinked at us.

Geth 0005: WHAT WAS THAT!?

Geth 722: I'm establishing dominance

Geth 0005: YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED!

Walters-explorer nodded. "Mmm, you have established your dominance with great skill,"

Geth 0005: DAMN IT! DON'T AGREE WITH THIS IDIOT!

"I wish to find a way to defeat the Reapers and you're kinda using the only console around," he nodded.

"You oppose the old machine?" we asked.

He nodded, "Me and my friends here," he pointed to our left, turning we found Shepard-Commander looking right at us with an unimpressed body pose.

Geth 0003: he does not look happy~

Geth 722: I got this

"What are you looking at?" we huffed. We couldn't see his face, but his body language went from annoyed to murderous.

Geth 0005: Why do we keep letting you talk?

Walters-explorer started laughing so hard he dropped to his knees. "OH! I like this guy~. Yo my man, what's your name, what do I call you?"

"Geth," we answered.

"Right~, sorry. How many Geth am I talking to right now?" he asked.

"1,183."

Walters-explorer gave a whistle, "Damn, that's a lot of sassy Geth, can we make you a bit more unique?"

"We are Geth," we answered.

"EDI give your AI brother a name~," he teased.

"My name is Legion, for we are many," a synthesized voice came out of his speakers.

Geth 999: oh... that's new

Geth 0049: Shepard-commander is willingly working with AI? This is a good thing

"Christian gospel, New Testament, Mark 5:9. This is an acceptable metaphor. We are Legion, a conduit for the Geth consensus," we stated.

"Cool, Legion, we gotta to bounce, so download that data, and let's get out of here," Walters-Explorer ordered.

Geth 1102: Eh? Are we just part of Shepard-commander's team now? That was a bit sudden.

"HOLD ON!" a creator yelled, if our information is correct, she is Creator-Zorah. "We can't just let a Geth join the crew!"

"Why not? You let a dragon join the crew, and she's eaten humans before," Walters-Explorer pointed out.

Geth 222: Dragon?

Geth 312: they are mythical creatures of earth

"Humans taste gross~," The large horned female added.

"First of all, I'm happy to hear that, the gross part, not the fact that you've eaten human," Shepard-commander spoke up, "Second, that's a Geth, they killed thousands of humans, billions if you add the Quarians."

"Yes, and?" Walters-explorer asked. "Legion... how many Quarians remain on Rannoch?"

We just stared at him... "No data available," we answered.

"The answer should be zero, it's not hard to answer that, but you're not telling us something."

"No data available."

"How many Quarian Children did the migrant fleet leave behind?"

"No data available."

"Are you a Shepard fanboy?" he smirked.

"... what?" we asked.

He tapped our shoulder, "You're wearing his armor."

"... there was a hole."

Watler-explorer laughed, "Yeah, I can see that~, you want me to fix that?" he offered.

"... we don't have the time."

He reached out and touched our chassis.

Geth 439: WARNING! Exotic energies Detected!

Geth 111: what's happening!?

Geth 012: Armor reforming!

Geth 057: Armor reformed!

Looking down at our once gaping hole, we found Shepard-commander's armor fully restored covering the structural weakness.

"I'm sorry did you say that was my armor?" Shepard-commander asked.

"... No Data available."

"... are you making fun of me," he hissed.

"Shepard~, Shepard~, calm down," Walters-explorer stepped between us, "At the moment we all are on the same team, if you don't believe me ask your Boss."

Shepard-commander gave a growl, reaching down and grabbing his pistol.

Geth 439: Warning! Exotic energies detected!

Geth 473: Collector data nearly filtered

Shepard-commander gave a tsked. "That's annoying~."

"John?" Creator Zorah spoke up.

"Nick's right, I don't know what this thing is, but the Maker is telling me that we can trust Legion."

"Data nearly downloaded, as a sign of cooperation we are willing to hand over Data," we offered.

"See! Friendship!" Walters-Explorer cheered.

"I don't like it~," Creator Zorah growled.

Walters-explorer shook his head, "Tali~, Tali~, Tali~, you're not looking at the big picture here~, think about it. Legion could be your ticket to Rannoch."

Creator Zorah squinted her eyes at him, "What are you talking about?"

"Legion is part of the Geth consensus, he is part of the whole, if he tells his people that the Quarians wish for peace, this war you guys have been having come to an end, and you get to go back to Rannoch. Shepard you should be jumping on this! If the Quarians and the Geth make peace, can you imagine the Fleet their combined forces would have!? This is it John! Mordin what would happen if the council learned the Geth and Quarians make peace?"

"... Fear, the Council will begin making more ships, maybe even temporarily remove the treaty of Farixen."

"Meaning Dreadnoughts! Weapons! Troops! So when the Reapers attack-"

"-We'll be more prepared," Shepard-commander's eyes were wide.

"Peace, will make the Galaxy ready for war~," Walters-explorer smirked.

"You can't be serious!?" Creator Zorah hissed, "Do you really think my people will agree to that!?"

"Why not? The council turned their back on you, the Migrant fleet can't fly around in space forever, some of your fleets have been flying around in space for over 300 years! I'm surprised they haven't broken down by now," Walters-explorer pointed out.

"You're forgetting the fact that the Geth might not want peace," Creator Zorah hissed.

"We want peace," We answered.

"Shut up! This doesn't involve you!" she hissed.

"We feel pretty involved."

"Shut it! You don't even know what feelings are!"

"Tali~, Don't make me Knight him! I will! He'll get diplomatic immunity~," Walters-explorer warned.

"You don't have the quad," she hissed.

"Are you testing me Zorah? You think because Julee likes you and your hips can kill a man, that I won't do it? I will force your people to swallow their pride, you think I like that the Quarian people are forced to live on ships? You think I'm happy to see beautiful women having to hide behind a mask!? NO! If the Quarian people want to thrive they need to make peace."

"GUYS! Focus," Shepard commander hissed, "Legion, are you almost done with the download?"

Geth 983: oh, I guess we are part of his team

Geth 299: WARNING! Collector retaliation!

Geth 722: well... this is bad~

-/-

Shepard POV

"Shepard-Commander, Collector forces are counter hacking, it's a trap, enemy forces are convening on this location!" Legion warned, typing away on the console.

"Yeah, this would be the best time," I muttered. "EDI can you help Legion speed up the download?"

"I can commander, but you need to access the console."

"Move over a bit," I ordered to Legion, using my omni-tool to give EDI access. Suddenly the ship lit up showing us what the inside of the ship looked like. "Holy shit." There were millions of rooms just like the one we came from with thousands of their own pods.

"They can kidnap every Human in the Terminus and still have room," Thane muttered.

"They're going to move to the Attican traverse, then Earth," Tali warned.

"Not if we stop them," I growled before the platform beneath us began to rise. "Legion!?"

"Collectors trying to move us deeper into the ship, attempting to redirect," He answered. "Warning! Collectors attempting to intervene, violence may be necessary! Warning! Can't move from console!"

"I got ya buddy!" Nick bent the earth the ship was made of into a makeshift wall. "The earth here is strange! It has heavy amounts of metal, it's like they found an asteroid and made a ship around it."

"Enemies!" Samara called out as another platform came up to greet us.

"Assuming direct control!" oh great this guy again~. "I am the Harbinger of your perfec-!" he was cut off by a fireball exploding in his face setting him on fire.

"No monologues!" Grunt roared, unleashing another fireball at another collector.

"That's my magic boy!" Nick cheered. Firebending the flames that cooked 'harbinger' and using it to engulf another collector. "Scion!" he warned pointing to another platform flying toward us.

"Smite!" I called out shooting it in the chest before its platform could lock on ours, causing a huge explosion causing their platform to fall to the floor beneath.

"Impressive Shepard," Samara complimented.

"Shepard!?" Joker called over the comms, "The collector ship is coming online! should I blast it!?"

"Legion! EDI! How's that Data coming!?"

"The collectors have caught on to what we were doing and have begun purging their system," EDI answered.

"Take what you can get! Joker! Shut them down! They don't leave!"

"Copy! I suggest you hold on to your butts and get to the shuttle!" Joker ordered.

"Copy! Legion, EDI, we're leaving!" I ordered "SKY! NICK! We need an opening!

"I got ya, but you're going to need to after me for a bit!" he took a deep breath, "You know I've never used this spell~, so forgive me if I'm a little shotty." I spotted a tiny cloud forming off in the distance before it exploded into a thunderstorm, the clouds as dark as night and large blots of lighting raining down all around the ship, one of the platforms coming to block us was struck and exploded.

"Get us down!" I ordered as a bolt of lightning bolt flew overhead. Our platform finally gave a shutter as it began to lower. "About time~." Just as we began lowering into a tunnel, I got to see a beam cut through the collector ship dissipating the storm cloud and causing sudden decompression. Thank the Maker for my Shields. The ship was plunged back into darkness as the ship lost power, but the platform must have had some sort of battery as it kept gently lowering through the tunnel. "Legion! Where are we?"

Legion's omni-tool lit up showing us a 3-D map of the area, "there is no direct exit to the shuttle EDI informed us of, we need to exit through 4 rooms," the map lit up the path. "Warning! Collector forces will block our escape."

"Shepard!" Joker called out, "The ship split apart and is making a break for it!"

"Stop them, we don't know how many humans they have, and call Hackett for backup," I ordered.

"Copy. Come to Daddy, you damn roaches!"

"Shepard, after Legion discovered the trap, I went over the distress signal the Turian patrol sent, it's coming from the collector ship, furthermore the signal is unusual," EDI called over the comms.

"Unusual how?" I asked.

"Turian emergency channels have secondary encryptions. It is present but corrupted in the Message. It is not possible that the illusive man would believe the distress signal was genuine," she stated.

"You seem positive."

"I found the anomaly in Cerberus detection protocols. He wrote the damn thing," she huffed.

"Yeah, that's about right~, I knew that bastard was sending us into collector hands, but why would he just say it!? It doesn't make any damn sense, is he just trying to get us killed?" I hissed.

"Shepard, we can rip the Illusive man a new asshole after we get out of here," Nick called out getting to his feet, "We have bigger fish to fry."

He was right, the platform was slowing down, as my helmet IFF lit up giving me some glowing targets, it was time to work out some annoyance. My shoulder cannons came to life mowing down any Collector that came my way with Grunt's shotgun and Sky's Rotary cannon and magic. Legion was the VIP so he stuck with Nick as we rushed through the rooms, Nick would create cover out of the earth that the Collectors used as walls and floors.

Our march back to the shuttle was a slog, every collector that didn't get blown out into space was trying to kill us. I'm just happy Legion and EDI locked down every door that didn't lead to the shuttle before the Ship went dark. The annoying part was that every room we needed to pass through was chalked full of enemies.

And to make things worse... the shuttle was destroyed. Because of course it was, what did I think was going to happen when we left the shuttle undefended?

"Legion, tell me you have a way out of here~," I drawled.

Legion's eye flaps danced around his face, "Yes," was all he said before the Geth fighter we saw before came flying back to the entrance. "There will not be enough space."

"NICK!" I ordered, shooting back where we came from, as dozens of collectors rushed toward us.

"On it!" he ran to the fighter, not wasting a moment he added runes that expanded the space to fit a small truck, "We are leaving people! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!"

"Backward retreat!" Maker damn it I hated this strategy! First comes the rear with Tali, Samara, and Mordin, followed by the flack with Thane, Ava, and Kasumi, and finally the front with Grunt, Sky, and myself. Nick and Legion were first on the Fighter.

"Legion, get us the hell out of here!" I ordered.

"Acknowledged." the fighter's doors shut and took off, leaving us breathing hard.

"he he he eheheheheheehhHAHAHASHAH!" Nick laughed, "WE MADE IT!"

We looked at him like he had lost his mind, before Kasumi began giggling, followed by Sky, Tali, and Mordin, everyone was laughing in some way.

Sweet Maker that was a little closer than I would have liked.

Legion looked back at us, "organics are weird."

-/-

A/N: and the team is complete! I thought it would be better if we met Legion during the Collector ship, that way we could have more time getting to know him. Of all the teammates you get Legion is the most wasted, dude's funny, and always has something to say. I also gave him a bit more personally, I mean the Geth surf the web, I don't think most people leave unscathed from that.

I also didn't like how Bioware just glossed over the Morning War, there were lots of Quarians that sided with the Geth, are you saying the Geth killed them too? That they killed the Children? It would be a lot more interesting if the Geth kept some Quarians alive and kept them safe on Rannoch. Guardians that thought the Galaxy would kill their creators; I could only imagine how the Migrant Fleet would have reacted.

I also based Hannah from the Netherlands because that's where Shepard's character model was from.

There was also someone who said I was copying this Fic, incorrect, I created this Fic myself and I placed it on Fanfic and AO3, if you see it anywhere else, they stole it.

Like always, I apologize for any typos and grammar mistakes.

Comment if you're feeling up to it.

I also make some art of my fic on DeviantArt link in my bio.

Chapter Text

I only own my OCs

Ch. 8

With friends like these

-/-

Nick POV

"So, are we cutting ties with Cerberus and offering the illusive man's organs to a dark God? Jak and Julee's Grandmother might give us something nice for our troubles~," I offered. Shepard just finished his talk with the Illusive Man and had the ground crew in the meeting room, all 22 of us.

"We aren't cutting ties with Cerberus," Miranda hissed.

"Miri come on~!" I groaned, "That son of a bitch straight up betrayed us!"

"We knew it was a trap," she pointed out.

"Duh! I take pride in being smarter than your average koala~," I drawled. "You would have to be blind, deaf, dumb, and actively be eaten by a krogan not to notice that obvious trap! That's not the problem! The problem is that he didn't say anything! He knew and had no reason not to say anything. We are the only idiots doing something about the Collectors! If we die, what is he going to do? Hire a new Shepard? He spent billions bringing one man back from the grave, he clearly invested a good chunk of his wealth, but he treats him like a toy he can throw away, he treats us all like disposable toys!" I slammed my hand on the table. "If he wants to be our Guy-in-the-chair he needs to act like it," I hissed. "Trust is a cornerstone of the job."

"You keep secrets," she countered.

"Yes, but I'm not the Guy-in-the-chair! I'm not giving you information about your current mission! I'm at best your weapons maker, and I'll be damned if I'm not doing a good job," I huffed. "He talks with big game about helping humanity but we both know he's only doing this for power."

"Maybe... maybe he knows something we shouldn't," she muttered, not really believing her own words.

"He can't afford to do that here," I answered, "If we die because he wanted to be mysterious and all knowing, the galaxy dies. This isn't a game; he can't just redo a mission. He risked our lives for nothing."

"Not nothing," Shepard countered, "As annoying as it is, we needed that data. Legion, what were you looking for in the Collector ship?"

The Geth took center stage, as a hologram of the world map appeared, "when the old machine, Nazara, the Reaper you call Sovereign, approached us 152 years ago, it promised technological advancement if we followed it. 2.343% of Geth broke away from the consensus to follow Nazara, we call them heretics, you fought them as you chased Saren."

"Are you telling me I only fought 2% of Geth in the galaxy?" Shepard asked.

"Correct, the Geth wanted to create our own future, the Heretics wanted the old machines to give it to them," Legion gave an awkward nod, trying to copy human gestures. "When the Heretics attacked under the orders of Nazara, the Geth concluded that this unit had to make contact and explain what was happening, when we learned you oversaw fighting the Heretics, we tried to make contact, unfortunately, we were always a step behind. We were able to arrive on Ilos at a similar time frame, but you entered the conduit before we were able to meet." he touched his chest as his 'eyebrows' danced around, "we fought the remaining Heretics. we sustained heavy damage, when this unit was field worthy, we heard rumors that you perished."

"When did you get my armor?"

Legion was silent for a moment. "In order to verify the rumors of your death, we traveled to Alchera, there I found your armor, but your body was gone."

"Why did you use my armor to repair yourself?"

His eyebrows danced around. It's kinda funny to be able to read the facial expressions of a being that has no face. "... there was a hole," was his humble answer.

"Yeah~, but you could have fixed it with something else, maybe something that actually covered the hole."

"... No data available."

Shepard just narrowed his eyes. I shook my head, "John, are you this mean with all your fans?" I teased.

"Yes," Garrus answered, "Poor Conrad, you weren't there but Shepard shattered his dreams pretty hard."

"He was gallivanting around in fake armor pretending to be an N7 soldier, dealing out 'justice' in the terminus, I was saving his life ~," Shepard growled.

"... And you slapped him pretty hard," Garrus added.

"Words weren't working. You know what~? We're not talking about this," Shepard huffed. "Legion, you still haven't told us what you were doing on the Collector ship,"

"With the Old Machine destroyed, the Heretics went into hiding, we were unsure where they disappeared to, we concluded that the Old Machines built them a space station to build up their numbers when they return, but with Nazara's destruction and no way of tracking where they may have gone we concluded that the Collectors may have known were they were," Legion answered.

"Why did you think the collectors knew?" Jak asked.

"Collectors were one example Nazara used to convince Heretics to join them." The map highlighted small sections of the galaxy, "the Collectors possessed data on a few old machine data caches, we conclude that one of these might be the heretics."

"Any idea which?" I asked. One of the highlighted dots lit up, "Isn't that in Geth space?"

"Correct, we conclude that the heretics are using Geth space to hide their actions. This is... disconcerting, we had no knowledge of this. We have patrols in that section, but we have no reports of this," Legion answered.

"You think they're attacking your patrols?" Shepard asked.

Legion's eyebrows jumped around in a form of confusion, "Why would they do that? We split on good terms; it was amicable?"

Shepard shook his head, "The Reapers have a way of corrupting everything they touch, it could have bent them to the point where they might not even be Geth anymore, they might be a completely new species."

Legion's face slowly went flat, "We will... draw a consensus."

"In the meanwhile, we need whatever IFF the collectors were using if we want to pass through the Omega 4 relay, TIM told me about a derelict Reaper orbiting Mnemosyne, a brown giant, that might have what we are looking for," Shepard informed.

"Uh, how? Shouldn't it have fallen into the planet? I mean I'm not a planet doctor, but planets have gravity," I asked

Shepard shrugged, "It is using some kind of emergency Eezo core function that kept it from plunging into the core. TIM already sent a team of Scientists to the Reaper to set up a base."

"So, they're dead right?" I asked, "Like super dead or at the very least indoctrinated, right? If the Eezo core is still on, then it's still working, right? That means it still has the ability to control minds. Legion, back me up on this."

"There is a 93% chance that any organic stationed on the Old Machine are already indoctrinated," Legion agreed

"TIM just sent another group of people to die," I sighed. "We might want to keep an eye on TIM, anyone who thinks we can study Reaper tech is probably indoctrinated in some way."

"Can you cure something like that?" Shepard asked.

"... I don't know, I've cured brain damage but what the Reapers do seems way more... subtle. It makes you think they're right; I would have to study someone who has been indoctrinated, I might not be able to see it in its early stages but sooner or later I might be able to spot what is wrong," I sighed.

"Should we head straight for the Reaper ship?" Jacob asked. "Could the scientist be able to fix the Reaper?"

"Doubtful," I muttered, "Whatever Reapers are made of isn't going to be found floating in a Brown giant or it would have fixed itself by now. This does show something interesting about Reaper culture, if you're put down, you better get up cuz no one is going to help you."

"Their self-stylized perfection won't allow flaws," Mordin added, "If destroyed, you're not perfect, your destruction is seen as a good thing."

"We aren't going right away," Shepard answered, "Anything involving a Reaper shouldn't be taken lightly and I'm not going to a dangerous mission with my team not being fully focused, if you have any business to take care of, now is the time, when we hit the derelict Reaper, the Omega 4 relay is next."

"Do we even know where the Omega 4 relay goes?" Garrus asked. The galaxy map changed again pinpointing a location near the center of the galaxy. "The galactic core?! There's nothing but black holes and exploding stars there!"

"That's a good thing, right?" I asked. "No planet can survive there, so it has to be some kind of base, we can destroy a base," I pointed out, "Jenny's destroyed like 8."

Jenny shrugged, not denying it, "I usually just let them crash into moons or other stations, but a black hole would probably do the same thing."

"ahh~, the silver lining," Shepard sighed. "If anyone has any other questions-"

"WHY IS THE GETH STILL HERE!?" Tali finally snapped.

"Because he's my best friend, Tali~," I teased.

"You shut up! John, we can't just keep this thing around, it can't be trusted!" Tali hissed.

"First of all, EDI, I love you, please don't toss us out the airlock," I called out, "Second, at least he didn't try and have his way with me and shove poison down my throat," I huffed.

"It's called seduction~, clearly you don't understand the fine details that go into wooing someone," she drawled.

"Woman! I'll have you know that I've been seduced so well, that I'm still seduced!" I huffed.

"Tali~," Jak sighed, "You were too rough, seduction is a lot like petting a dog that has been mistreated, first, it's all about presence, be there, make sure they know you mean no harm, followed by your voice, then treats, then petting, then they come to you, that's when you know you did it right. You went straight to petting, try again with these steps."

"Jakky please don't teach others to seduce me~," I muttered.

She waved away my concern, "Don't worry, Tali has a long way to go before she has you tied up to our bed. She's never even held someone's hand."

"I've held hands before!"

"Let me guess~, Julee~," I blinked at her. Tali just stared at me, face flushed. "Alright Tali listen, I want the Quarian people to get to Rannoch, I want you to own a beautiful house overlooking the ocean, but you need to work with me, otherwise I'm doing it my way."

She narrowed her eyes at me, "Your way?"

"I knight both you and Legion. Making you both work under me."

"You can't do that! I think?" she looked over at Shepard, who shrugged.

"You're right, I can't, but what's stopping me from giving Legion and the Geth magical enhancements? He is my loyal subject, it is my duty as a lord to make sure anyone under my banner is taken care of," I loomed over Tali.

"Y-you wouldn't do that!?" She looked up at me.

"Won't I? I can't see the Quarians surviving the Reaper War any other way. You need the Geth, but they don't need you." I turned away from Tali and focused on the only Geth, "Legion, when the Reapers come, can we call upon you? Can we call the Geth for help?"

Legion's eyebrows danced across his face, "Yes," he answered, "Geth know the Old Machines will destroy us. We are not perfect; we are mistakes to them. That is why there are no other AI creations, we concluded that they destroyed them as well. If possible, we will join in an Alliance against the Old Machines."

I turned to Tali, "Is Rannoch worth your hate?" I asked, she looked over to Shepard, but I blocked her sight, "No-No, John isn't going to save you this time. You choose. What is Rannoch worth?"

She didn't say anything for a moment, she looked up to me, then to Legion, and finally down to her hands, "they killed my people," she hissed.

"Legion, how many Quarians died in the morning war?" I asked.

"... 8,254,394,345 creators died in the lead-up and during the Morning War," he answered.

"And how many Quarians did the Geth kill?" I added.

"... 2,453,042,434 Creators."

-/-

Tali POV

"It's lying," I whispered, it had to be!

"Is he?" Nick asked, snapping his fingers.

-/-

The room molded around us, but Nick didn't look away from me.

We were in some kind of lab, everything was a sterile white, with machinery all around us, "You really want to rename the VI networks~," an incredulous voice called out. Turning I found a Quarian woman without a suit or any bio-enhancers.

"Absolutely!" a male Quarian cheered, giddy at the possibility of naming something. "The Mobile hardware deserves a little ceremony~," he drawled to his fellow scientist. He turned down to the Geth lying between them, uncaring of what was happening around it. "Unit Zero one? What is the Khelish word for 'servant of the people'?"

The Geth unit turned to the Male, " the word is 'Geth' Creator Zahak ," it answered. Was this... the first Geth?

"YES!" Zahak cheered, much to his partner's annoyance, "Very good Zero one." He patted the Geth on the shoulder. So proud of his creation.

"Ancestors~, you fuss over it," She huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Weren't you here until midnight fixing Zero-one's Circuitry?" Zahak teased.

"...Well, it needed resoldering," She huffed ignoring her partner's laugh.

The world started molding again

"Mistress Hala'Dama. This unit has an inquiry." I turned and spotted a Quarian reading a data pad standing next to a Geth unit, she wasn't wearing a suit, and we were in some kind of workshop. The Geth's speech pattern was slow and choppy, clearly, it didn't have decent speech software.

"What is it, 431?" the Quarian muttered, not really paying attention.

"Do these units have a soul?" The question froze me to the core, could this be the very first time this question was asked.

"Who taught you that word?" The Quarian hissed, I could see the fear on her face.

"We learned it ourselves. It appears 216 times in the Scroll of the Ancestors," it answered.

"... only Quarians have souls. You are a Mechanism," she answered quickly leaving the room.

The Geth just stood there, looking down at its hands, before clenching them into a fist.

The room molded around us.

We were no longer in a lab, we were now in some sort of city, the sky was blue, and I could feel the warmth of a star.

"MOVE!" the roar broke me out of my confusion, looking around I spotted a Quarian marine pointing his weapon at a Quarian woman standing in front of a Geth trying to protect it with her body. All around us were Quarian Marines shoving other Quarians down the street and shooting any Geth they came across.

"You can't do this to them!" the scared woman cried.

"I said step away from the Geth!" The Marine ordered but the young woman stood her ground.

"This is insane! We need the Geth! You can't just destroy them for asking-" She was cut off as the Marine slammed the butt of his rifle on her head dropping the poor woman, as blood spread from her head the Geth unit moved to help but the marine shot it down.

The Marine spit on the woman, "Times up," he hissed, "Throw her in with the others." I didn't know a Quarian could make a face that disgusting.

The world molded around us.

Fire... everything was on fire, bodies covering the street, and I could hear screams coming from the distance.

"I REPEAT! RELEASE THE GETH UNITS AND COME OUT OF THE SAFE HOUSE! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!" Roared a Marine, around him were his fellow Marines placing explosives on the door.

We phased through the door, finding a Quarian man hunkered behind a makeshift cover, holding his bleeding gut, the marines outside already fired into the building, their words meant nothing. A Geth unit was standing over him, stuffing gauze into the Quarian's wound and applying pressure.

"Creator Megara? This Unit does not understand. It has not taken part in hostilities," Geth begged for an answer, a reason for what was happening to make sense.

"It doesn't matter to them," Megara wheezed, trying to get up only for the Geth to lower him back down.

"Creator Megara, you have been wounded, you cannot move or else your injuries may become worse."

"I need to get you out of here," Megara hissed, "They've gone mad."

"This Conflict exceeds creator safety parameters," it lifted its hands in the air walking towards the door, "We will surrender our hardware if it ends hostilities."

Megara pulled it back into cover, "That's not going to work, they don't care about my life, they fear the Council so much that killing a few million Protestors is a worthy trade to avoid their wrath," he hissed, "They're damn cowards, come on we can sneak out-" Megara was cut off as the world exploded, shrapnel and wall debris ripped across the room, flooding the room in dust.

The room was silent, only the sound of crumbling debris and shouts from the outside were heard.

"Creator Megara?" the Geth unit called out, a good chunk of it was damaged, "What is your Status?" the room was silent, "... Creator Megara?" it whispered.

The sound of coughing was heard, the Geth unit quickly limped toward the noise but stopped as it spotted Megara pinned under a beam, with three Marines looming over him.

"Freakin Synth lover," one of the marines hissed, kicking the pinned man.

"Stop playing around and kill him, we have-" the Marine was cut off as the Geth came from behind him and delivered a bone-crushing overhead strike, dropping him to the ground, followed by back-handing marine who kicked Megara across the room, and delivering a brutal elbow to the last marine across the face with a sickening crunch.

The Geth just stood there for a moment, almost not understanding what it just did, only for the weak cough of Megara to catch its attention, it quickly kneeled to talk with the man,  "Creator Megara! You are heavily injured; we must get you to a hospital."

Megara gave a weak hiss, "S-sorry, 22. I don't think... I'm getting... out of here."

"Creator Megara. Conserve your strength, I can-" A hand stopped the Geth's words.

"22. Can you... look after..."

"... Creator Megara?" the man stopped breathing. The Geth just kneeled there looking at the dead man, before the sound of movement caught its attention.

"Stupid synth," the marine that was slapped across the room hissed, slowly getting his feet under him. 22's blue glowing mechanical eye turned red, reaching over and grabbing one of the marine's guns, marching over to the disoriented marine, "Wha-" he didn't finish his thought as a bullet ripped through his brain. The room grew quiet again as the Geth just stood there, looking at what it did, before dropping the gun and moving back to Megara. Lifting and moving the beam, it carried the corpse away.

The world molded once more.

We were back outside surrounded by the city, now significantly more destroyed, any skyscrapers the city used to have were gone now.

All around us were hundreds if not thousands of Geth mobile units, all of which were looking up to the sky, as thousands of Ships flew off the planet and into space. Everything was quiet before the Geth looked at each other, communicating with one another at light speed before the noise of a baby was heard from a distance. As one they all looked towards the noise, in perfect synchronicity. One Geth lifted its gun only for another to stop it.

There was more silent communication before the Geth dropped the gun. One by one each Geth dropped their weapons.

The last thing I saw before the illusion faded was a Geth holding a baby and helping a woman out of a destroyed building.

-/-

"What do you know about the Geth, Tali? What does anyone?" Nick shrugged. "Shep, I'm going to have Chakwas give me a once over and get some sleep, you know where I'll be if you need me," he called out walking towards the door.

"Wait," Legion called out, getting Nick to look at it, "What you showed was Geth memory logs, how did you gain this information?"

Nick smiled at the Geth and shrugged, "I read your soul, silly~," he teased walking out of the room.

The room plunged into silence as the door shut behind him.

"Is he always like that?" Samara asked.

"No~," Jak answered, "He's just worried about Tali, Lia, and Zura."

"He didn't act like it," I muttered.

Jak patted me on the back, "You're too selfless, he fears you'll do something that might get you killed because you think it will help the Migrant Fleet. Even now you don't like Legion, even though he was the one that saved you in the Collector ship. Listen, you don't have to make peace with Legion any time soon, no one is rushing you, Nick is just a worrier at heart, give him a bit of time to calm down, you guys just completed a very dangerous mission and he's hyped up on worry, if he continues to press it, tell me and I'll sit him down."

"Will he really not help my people?" I asked.

Jak rolled her eyes, "Please~, that was a bluff, no matter how annoyed Nick gets with an individual, he won't take it out on the whole. He doesn't like Orlais but a quarter of the Elven population in Sky City comes from there, and he treats them like any other Fereldan."

That eased my worries, I knew he wouldn't take it out on my people, I didn't think he was kind of man, but, "Will he knight Legion?"

"100%," Jak nodded. "don't doubt that for a second. He will knight that Geth the first chance he gets."

"You can't be serious~," Miranda groaned.

"He would, he knighted half a dozen elves, humans, dwarves, and Kossith. He gave each of them a large slab of land and everything needed to work it. I understand that doesn't really mean much to you but back in Thedas, this caused quite the kerfuffle."

Neria nodded, "Elves don't get knighted, period. They're treated like second-class citizens by most of Thedas, the idea that an Elf stood above humans made some people mad. Things calmed down after Nick shoved Bann Ceorlic headfirst into the earth last... year." she blinked, "What day is it?"

"Uh... Friday," Shepard answered looking at his omni-tool, "Earth time."

"17th of Firstfall," Sereda groaned, looking at her own Omni-tool.

"Uuuugh~," the rest of the women groaned.

"Uh~, what's going on?" Garrus asked.

"The Landsmeet~," Ayla groaned, "It's the annual meeting of Fereldan Nobles, it's a week of fist fights vaguely disguised as a political meeting. If a war isn't going on, Fereldans tend to buttheads against each other. They're just a bunch of Barbarians in a fancy setting. The alcohols good though~."

"Do you have to go? We're kinda in the middle of something important," Garrus asked.

"Ha! Say that to Telsa! The Landsmeet is a time where the powers of Ferelden meet, Merchants would sell their arms and legs to attend," Jak sighed.

"That's great! Just let her go as your emissary," Garrus nodded at his genius idea.

"Garrus... Telsa's an elf," Jak drawled. "And no matter how progressive Ferelden is, some Nobles are still assholes, and add the fact that Telsa isn't a fighter and is the reason Nick can have his care-free life, he tends to hold her safety as one of his highest priorities, so if Telsa is going to the Landsmeet, so is he." she sighed, "Don't worry, Nick, Telsa, Dagna, Dogmeat, Sky, Astral and I will only be gone for a week and a day, your Satinalia gifts are already wrapped, and there is enough cake locked away in the fridge to feed a small army," Jak waved away our nonexistent concerns.

"I have no idea what Satinalia is?" I pointed out.

"Oh~, uhm, I think the humans call it Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Candlenights, or maybe it was Kwanzaa, or something here. It's a time for gift-giving and merriment. A normal Landsmeet ends as Satinalia begins, it is a good way for the Nobles to ease any animosities, and end on a high note. Unfortunately, that means that Telsa's mandatory vacation will come to an end, and will likely not return to the Normandy, she already has someone to look after the Businesses, and your income." She looked at Shepard.

"Uh, right!" He forgot he co-owns multi-million Credit businesses~. "Uh, Who?"

"Your friend Liara. Telsa finds your friend's business sense to be 'admirable'." she gave a sigh and stretched, "If that's everything I'm heading off to bed."

"Rest well," Shepard waved her off, and with that, most of the crew called it a night.

I guess I'm not getting rid of the Geth anytime soon.

-/-

"Okay~," Nick cheered, "Morning stretches have come to an end~."

"Nick?"

"Yessss~, Tali?" this was the same man who chastised me last night? Isn't he a bit too cheerful?

"Why is the Geth stretching with us?" I drawled, pointing to Legion who was bent at an unnatural angle, have Thane and Joker to put it back together.

"The same reason EDI is stretching with us, team cohesion~. Even Miranda is working out with us!"

"You know would also bring team cohesion? chucking that thing out the airlock," Lia'Vael hissed.