Chapter Text
Obi-Wan had never been one to “coast” as his fellow padawans would call it, no matter how naturally skilled he was in one area, he would challenge himself in almost every way. He wanted to prove to Qui-Gon that he had made the right choice by choosing him as a padawan, even if it meant pushing himself.
However, Master Qui-Gon never expected that of Obi-Wan, from what Obi-Wan could tell, his master had more faith in him and his choices than other masters and their padawans. Never did Qui-Gon tell him he needed to sit in on certain classes or to focus on certain lessons, instead he let Obi-Wan decide what was the best fit for him. Following him from class to class, guiding him where he could.
At first, that structure frustrated and made him anxious, worried that this was just another coded test he would fail. He worried he would pick the wrong lesson and suddenly Qui-Gon would no longer see him as a fit padawan or worse, not fit to become a Jedi Knight. He would agonize over his choices, try to think what Master Qui-Gon would want from him, but it never seemed to make a difference.
Now as Obi-Wan sat alone in his room in the Jedi temple he wished his master had made him take Force healing classes. The Jedi were peacekeepers at heart. He knew healing would be an important skill to have someday, but he never saw its true importance. Being a Jedi during peacetime meant he had to be a strong negotiator in order to keep that peace, be well-versed in Jedi traditional scrolls, and know how to meditate in even the most deafening environments. He focused on these classes, leaving the healing and other small specialty classes to fall to the wayside. In no way could Obi-Wan foresee how his master's blood would leak onto his hands, the Force silent around him, as he begged for more time, but with no way to ask for it. The regret of not taking healing classes had weighed heavily.
He knew if he started taking healing classes immediately after returning, the counsel would dismiss him, saying he clearly needed more time dealing with the loss of his Master and that he was acting out of attachment, not how a Jedi Knight should act. He could not rush into it like his mind begged him to do. He also knew he needed to spend extra time guiding Anakin, especially to catch him up.
In the early days, Anakin didn’t say much but dutifully followed Obi-Wan around the temple, always one or two paces behind him. Obi-Wan tried to give an interesting tour and pass on the knowledge that Anakin would need to navigate the temple, but as he watched Anakin look around, it was clear that this was a lot for him to take in. In Anakin, Obi-Wan saw his younger self. He was just as nervous as Obi-Wan had been when he had first arrived, wondering where his place would be in this impressive building and with the Jedi’s history spanning for millennia.
Unfortunately, Anakin had a clear challenge. He was already older than most of the younglings in training and while he needed to learn to get along with the other kids, Obi-Wan clearly remembered being made fun of by his fellow padawans when he had fallen short, but at least he had grown up with them and had the ability to defend himself on equal ground. Anakin would not have this privilege. While the Jedi claimed there were no attachments, cliques did form between the younglings and Anakin would stick out like a sore thumb. Word of Anakin’s Chosen One path had also spread like a wildfire through the temple, making some of the padawans seemingly jealous of his untrained power.
Sighing, Obi-Wan looked up at the Chrono. It was time for him to wake Anakin and take him to his first class. Still exhausted, Obi-Wan began going through the motions of getting ready. Washed his face, changed his clothes, and right before he checked his hair in the mirror, his fingers first brushed against the newly buzzed hair and then his eyes zeroed in on the spot. The section of hair was shorter than the rest, growing ever so softly in the section where his padawan braid once laid.
He never thought he would miss something so simple, something that had weighed so lightly on his shoulder. Now in missing its weight, it showed him a new burden of being a Jedi Master and of having his own padawan. Obi-Wan already felt like an imposter, but at least with the padawan braid, there was a level of excuse, of nuance to his level of skill. Mistakes, while rare and frowned upon, could be written off as him not knowing any better, him still learning. Now, Obi-Wan had to be the one with all the answers, but the short hair reminded him of the fact that he wasn’t.
In truth, he felt rushed into all of this, but taking Anakin as his padawan was his dying master’s last request. Most Jedi Knights had time and the option to say when they were ready to take on a padawan learner or at the very least still have their master around for guidance. But Obi-Wan had neither.
Avoiding his reflection the best he could, Obi-Wan continued getting ready and then grabbed a protein bar, barely tasting it as he began walking the halls of the Jedi Temple. Anakin’s room was not far from his own, but today, as he approached the door, he noticed that unlike normal he could not feel Anakin’s nervous energy buzzing through the Force. In fact, Obi-Wan detected that no one was in Anakin’s room and even though it felt silly to do so, Obi-Wan still found himself knocking and waiting.
Obi-Wan sighed and began racking his brain. Where could Anakin be? He hadn’t expressed much interest in any of the classes or locations outside of the occasional nod to show he understood what Obi-Wan was saying. Obi-Wan knew the young boy was overwhelmed and homesick. He missed his mother. The only family Obi-Wan knew, the one perk of joining the Order when he was so young was that his memories of his own mother were vague.
After a few moments of looking at Anakin’s door, he began searching the Jedi Temple. He walked fast as not to alert the other Jedi to his lost padawan. He kept pace and smiled and waved to the others, allowing himself to search as subtly as possible. Obi-Wan reached out gently in the Force, searching for the spike of energy that was normally Anakin, but he felt nothing, at least not as strong as it usually was. It took some time, but after passing a supply closet he felt a small spike of energy in the Force that reminded him of Anakin.
Obi-Wan paused, waiting to see if Anakin sensed him on his own. Finally, Obi-Wan softly knocked on the door. He waited again and listened to the gentle hum of the Force around him. There was no change in Anakin’s Force signature. Giving up hope that Anakin would respond on his own, Obi-Wan opened the door himself.
The supply closet was small and stored various parts used to fix holoprojectors used in the archives, yet when Obi-Wan opened it, it was more organized than he had ever seen it. Parts were properly put away, stacked nicely and neatly and on the floor laid Anakin, a spanner clutched tightly in his hands as he opened his eyes. Obi-Wan watched as he slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Master? What are you doing here?” Anakin asked, clearly confused by Obi-Wan’s presence which made Obi-Wan smile. It was clear Anakin hadn’t thought much of what he himself was doing here.
“Now, I could be asking you the same question. What are you doing in a supply closet?” Obi-Wan watched as Anakin first looked down at his hands still clutching the spanner and then to the walls around him as if he wasn’t sure how he had got there in the first place.
“I’m sorry, Master. I just…”
Obi-Wan watched as the young boy trailed off and looked to the ground, his feelings of discouragement thick within the Force. For a moment he debated, before deciding to walk into the small closet and sit across from Anakin. The door automatically shut behind him, giving him just enough room to sit with his legs crossed, mimicking Anakin’s position. His eyes remained on the young boy who looked everywhere but at him.
“Anakin, I can sense your apprehension through the Force. You know you can talk to me.” Obi-Wan’s hand twitched as he fought the urge to fidget with his nonexistent padawan braid. He watched closely as Anakin fidgeted with the spanner, at first Obi-Wan assumed it must have been bigger than the young boy was used to because of the slow way he was turning it in his hands, only to notice that his hands were beginning to shake. “Anakin?”
“Promise you won’t be upset?” his voice softly asked.
“Of course.”
“It’s just… Qui-Gon said I would be free, but… why do I have to call you Master? Why can everyone find me so well when I hide? Why can’t I do the things I like?” Anakin began rambling. Obi-Wan watched with wide eyes as tears started falling down the young boy's cheeks. “I don’t want to be a slave anymore, Obi-Wan!” he cried and suddenly, all of Anakin’s behavior made sense. The way he followed Obi-Wan so dutifully around the temple, the way he never seemed to want to suggest what they should do.
“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan barely had time to say before the young boy practically launched himself into his arms. “In complete honesty, I didn’t consider how the Jedi titles may be affecting you. I promise you, you are not a slave anymore,” Obi-Wan reassured Anakin, to which he got a halfhearted nod as the boy curled closer to him.
“Okay,” he said in a small voice, not very convinced.
“What if you call me a teacher until you’re more comfortable with Jedi titles? Would that be better, perhaps?” Obi-Wan ventured, rubbing the boy's back.
“Teacher Obi-Wan?” Anakin tried before smiling. “But wait, that doesn’t answer my question, how do people find me so well when I’m hiding? Like how did you know where I was?”
Obi-Wan thought for a moment before deciding it may be best to show Anakin. Most Jedi from a young age were taught about the way they were perceived through the Force and how to perceive others. It made sense in retrospect why Anakin didn’t understand this concept. Obi-Wan felt foolish for not realizing this sooner. Another reason Obi-Wan was unfit to be a teacher, it had barely crossed his mind that Anakin would not know about this since most younglings learnt this at a young age. Fighting back the feelings of failure, Obi-Wan opened himself to the Force, gently nudging Anakin’s life force with his own, causing the young boy to gasp and look up at Obi-Wan with wonder in his eyes.
“Every living thing is connected to and with the Force, we all have a sort of… light in the Force. As a Jedi, you will learn how everyone’s life force feels a bit different and what they make you feel like. Eventually, as you learn how to connect your life force with the world around you, you will learn how to also hide your life force or at least disguise it. It’s how I was able to find you and soon you’ll be able to find me and others through the Force too.
“While every living thing is connected to the Force, plants, animals, people, you may even run into situations where things you aren’t expecting to reach out to you through the Force. You have to be open to the world around you but don’t worry. We’ll work on it, there’s no rush, Anakin.” Obi-Wan watched with patient eyes as Anakin seemed to think, the blonde boy rubbing his chin with his fingers.
“Besides sensing things, what can the Force do?” Anakin asked and Obi-Wan pondered the question
“Well, you can use the Force to confuse others, some Jedi can feel memories through the Force, those are called echoes. Let’s see… you can also use the Force to sense other individuals and what they could be feeling. Jedi can also move or alter some things through the Force.” Obi-Wan paused, forcing himself to remain steady while talking to Anakin. “Some Jedi can heal through the Force as well.”
“Is it hard to heal people through the Force?”
“It can be. It depends on the injury and the skill level of the Jedi. Does that make sense?”
“Would it make sense if I say it does and it doesn’t?” Anakin asked, causing Obi-Wan to release a chuckle.
“Yes, I think that perfectly describes even the best Jedi’s understanding of the Force. It’s a complicated concept, one that always seems to be changing as we do.” Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin, causing him to beam back, and while Obi-Wan still felt uneasy, he was blessed for Anakin’s honest and trusting nature. As much as Obi-Wan wished to have Qui-Gon’s guidance in these moments, he knew he wasn’t going to let his master down. Anakin was going to be the Jedi that would bring balance to the Force.
.
CC-2224 knew if they were caught, the long necks would be beyond angry. Especially catching a CT coming into the CC’s barracks. Both he and CT-7567 would surely be decommissioned, but as CC-2224 held his younger brother through his tears, he couldn’t bring himself to really care.
He could easily argue that this was what they were training him to do as a future commander for a war that was just starting to brew. Keeping the other troopers in top shape and making sure they were okay and in fighting condition. Sure, the long necks didn’t care much for their mental well-being, but if he explained it that way to Alpha-17, maybe they’d be okay.
But CC-2224 couldn’t dwell on it for very long as CT-7567 sniffled and pulled himself impossibly closer to CC-2224. He responded by slowly running a hand through his brother's cropped blonde hair.
He wasn’t sure what made CT-7567 trust him more than the other CCs. They all had been present during the training session, and they had all felt bad when CT-7567 ended up costing his squad the practice mission and injuring one of his squad mates. They had all tried to offer him advice, but it was CC-2224 that he came to in the middle of the night and it was CC-2224 who broke protocol and let the young cadet climb into his bed.
“I didn’t mean to get them hurt,” CT-7567 mumbled for what had to have been the 20th time since coming to the barracks.
CC-2224 sighed and gently pulled him back to look him in the eyes. “Rex, they know that. I know that. Things happen and it’s hard but wouldn’t you rather it happen in training than out on the field?” CC-2224 tried, and he felt his brother hold him tighter.
“I’d rather it not happen at all,” the young clone said, causing CC-2224 to chuckle.
“If only that was a guarantee you could make. Rex, things are going to happen out there and you’re going to have to make tough decisions. You’re going to have to learn when it’s time to let go.”
CT-7567 pulled away roughly and looked at him with horror in his young eyes. “Cody!” CT-7567 practically yelled.
The volume made CC-1010 sit up and glare at the pair. “Some of us are trying to sleep before training tomorrow,” he hissed.
CC-2224 rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, Fox, we get it, you need your beauty sleep,” Cody bit back before shutting his privacy curtain.
“Rex, listen to me carefully.” CC-2224 gently moved CT-7567’s head so they were making eye contact. Sometimes it was weird for CC-2224 to talk to the younger clones because all he could see was himself before all this training and worry had started to weigh on him. They were supposed to be training for a war, but through the hush of whispers and rumors the war hadn’t even started yet despite what the long necks told them. They were told they’d be serving the Jedi and none of them had even met one. He was worried they were all being made for a purpose that wouldn’t come to be, or a purpose that wouldn’t last.
The war hadn’t even started but what would happen to him and his brothers that survived till its end?
“There is no way to know what is going to happen out there, outside Kamino. The very best we can do is to be the best version of ourselves, whatever that means for each of us. For me, that means being a good commander, leading my brothers and having them trust me. For some others, it might be working as a medic or a pilot. But no matter what you feel you’re called to or whatever you end up doing, at the end of the day, you just have to make sure you’re making the best decisions for yourself. You will make bad calls, I will make bad calls, and our Jedi generals will make bad calls. It’s going to happen, unfortunately. There’s no way to control the world around us, Rex. We just have to do our best.”
“But what if-”
“Rex, I’m sorry to say it but what happened today will happen again and you will feel responsible for a bad call. The difference will be if you learn from it and grow. You can’t let it hold you back, but you can let it change you for the better, do you understand?” CC-2224 looked into CT-7567’s eyes, which shone with unshed tears. He knew his own eyes must look similar. It was a hard conversation for anyone to hear, but CC-2224 knew that the young clone needed to hear this, just like he needed to hear it when he was CT-7567’s age.
“I wish it was easier,” CT-7567 whispered before cuddling close to CC-2224’s chest.CC-2224 sighed and positioned both of them so they were lying in the tiny bunk, CT-7567 practically laying on top of CC-2224 as close to his older vod as he could. “Me too, Rex. Me too.”