Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Good work everyone. The latest MV was a huge success as well.” Kanade smiled, sipping at her drink as Mizuki and Ena squabled over the fries as per tradition. “We’ll have to work hard for the next one too. Once we find time to figure out the theme.”

“Mmm, lesh take hour time” Mizuki mumbled through a mouth filled with fries, taking a breath after swallowing. “I really liked how we let this one kind of marinate for a bit.”

Ena rolled her eyes, but also shrugged in agreement. “A break wouldn’t be too bad. What about you Mafuyu? What do you think?”

“It’s fine.” Mafuyu played with a single fry, feeling the salt rub against her fingertips. “I’ll be busier with my classes since exams are coming up anyways.”

“Alright. Maybe we’ll take a few weeks break then. We’ve earned a rest.” Kanade stretched in her seat.

“Hmmmm, Kanade you seem a bit more sprightly these days….” A wicked grin spread across Mizuki’s face. “Something you want to tell us?”

“Ah. Honami has been taking me on more runs recently so I could build up my stamina!” Kanade nodded, oblivious to Mizuki’s prodding, “It’s been helping me stay more focused during composing sessions!”

“Is that allllll, Honanan has been up to with you?” Mizuki pouted, desire for juicy details evident.

“Honanan? What’s with this knock-off nickname, at least think of something original.” Ena huffed, flicking Mizuki’s forehead.

“Ow ow! My delicate skin!” Mizuki dramatically covered her forehead as Ena rolled her eyes again. “Kanadeeeee, Mafuyuuuuu, do you see the abuse that is being heaped onto me? How am I supposed to work under these conditions???”

“It’s a good thing we’re taking a break then,” Mafuyu deadpanned, popping a fry into her mouth.

“So cold…” Mizuki pouted as Ena slipped an apology fry into her mouth.

The group slid into an easy and relaxed rhythm after that, slowly picking their way through the heaping basket of fries as they caught up on each other’s lives. Mafuyu’s mind began to drift, thinking of all of the assignments and exams that she had coming up, mentally scheduling her time as Mizuki and Ena ribbed each other besides her. Kanade sipped at her water, undoubtedly thinking of her next composition despite being the one to declare a break for the group.

“Ah! I almost forgot!!” Ena exclaimed suddenly, snapping Mafuyu out of her reverie. Rummaging through her bag frantically, she pulled out a slightly wrinkled envelope and hurriedly slapped it in the center of the table. “Tickets! To the More More Jump! Anniversary Concert! Airi gave them to me for us to attend.”

Mizuki flipped the envelope open, snagging a ticket to check out before letting out a theatrically hushed gasp. “Wow!! Nice score, Enanan! We’re pretty close to the stage and there’s even a handshake event ticket!!”

“You!!! You were the one who was pleading with Airi with puppy dog eyes to get a handshake event ticket.” Letting loose an exasperated sigh, she turned to look squarely and pointedly at Mafuyu, “There are enough tickets for everyone by the way.”

Wiping her fingers on a napkin, Mafuyu avoids Ena’s piercing gaze as she takes a ticket for herself. She could still remember the feeling of saying goodbye to Shizuku at their graduation ceremony, the kind look in her eyes when Mafuyu pulled away from that last hug. She could still retrace every goosebump that had erupted where her hands had settled. She remembered only being able to barely meet her eyes briefly that day, and how Shizuku had accepted even that without complaint. The words that had been spoken in the prior weeks echoed in her ears as they pulled apart and went their separate ways. The LINE chat that had gone used in the time since. It all bubbled up beneath the surface once more.

“You’ll go right?” Ena pushed, turning fully to face Mafuyu, leaning in slightly. “We wouldn’t want these tickets to go to waste would we? Especially not a special VIP handshake event ticket that was supposed to be by lottery only.”

“What about Kana-”

“Unlike a certain someone, Kanade does visit Mizuki and I regularly and also says hello to Airi when she is actually home.” Mafuyu wondered how Ena could make her words feel so sharp and pointed; if she wasn’t careful she really would just be covered in a bunch of tiny cuts.

“Miz-”

“Mizuki complains when Airi and Minori stop holding her hand for more than five seconds, I think Airi and Minori have earned a break from her antics.”

“And y-”

“What my hands do with Airi is between me and her…” Ena was proud to only flush a single shade of pink at that.

“And me!” Mizuki chimed in deviously, who was rewarded with a swift and hard pinch to an exposed thigh.

How deep was the hole she wanted to dig for herself. She looked towards Kanade, only to see her looking oddly interested in the window next to them. Traitor.

“I don’t have any clothes that would work.” The way Mizuki’s smirk stretched across her face instantly made Mafuyu regret her last ditch choice of excuse.

“Oh… Don’t you worry about that…”

Mafuyu wasn’t sure what felt worse, the ten hour shopping hellscape that Mizuki had dragged her into or her midterm exams. No, that wasn’t quite true, she would take the midterm exams ten times over rather than be subjected to a future repeat of Mizuki’s fanatical shopping extravaganza. All that trouble, for an outfit she might not wear more than once. 

“You have to look special for your handshake event!! Don’t you want to look your best?” Mizuki crowed as she gleefully used Mafuyu as her dress-up doll for the day.

As much as she wanted to just retort No , some part of her held her back. Would it hurt to look her best , that part whispered. It had been so long after all , maybe you could get a second first-impression. And so she relented, much to Mizuki’s delight.

She fiddled with the sleeves of the cardigan that seemed to hang off her right shoulder no matter how she adjusted it, tugging it over the one piece dress that Mizuki had finally settled on. A belt cinched around the dress that seemed to serve no purpose other than figuratively tying the outfit together along with a pair of stylish black boots. Still, based on the looks she was getting and subsequently ignoring, Mizuki had outdone herself yet again.

“Let’s gooooo!!!” Mizuki crowed, dragging Mafuyu over to where Ena and Kanade were waiting. “I’ve brought our princess!” 

With a bow and a flourish that attracted way too much attention, Mizuki slunk away to hang off of Ena’s elbow while chattering away at her ear. 

“You look great, Mafuyu.” Kanade smiled encouragingly, herself in a nice fitting shirt and skirt with a very functional belt, almost certainly put together with the help of a certain drummer.

“Thanks.” Mafuyu pulled the tickets out of her clutch, wondering if she was actually going to have to go through with this. She didn’t even know what she would say when she was finally face to face with her again, after all of these years of radio silence. Did she even deserve it? She was half-tempted to shred the ticket right then and there, but she was sure violence would be visiting her in short order if she did.

“C’mon, let’s head in, we get to use a special line thanks to our seats!” Mizuki called back to the two of them, already arm and arm with Ena and making their way to the queue. 

“You can do it Mafuyu, I believe in you,” Kanade said cheerfully. If it had come from anyone else, she would have thought them sarcastic, but Kanade only knew sincerity, even years in the cutthroat music industry had done little to change that.

“Only one way to find out, I suppose…”

“You have to put your back into it, Mafuyu!” Mizuki cheered on, “Like this! L. O. V. E. MINORI!!!”

Getting regular exercise turned out to be good for something, Mafuyu mused as she continued to mimic Mizuki’s actions, trying to blend into the crowd. Even she had to admit there was something in the energy of the crowd that seemed to ignite some small feelings within her. It had been enough that she could cheer Shizuku on without feeling like she was about to be smited from above.

“Is everyone having a good timeeeee?” Airi called out at the end of the number, “Wow, it’s been a wild few years hasn’t it? I’m definitely seeing some familiar faces even from our last anniversary live.”

The crowd roared back in response, doing their best to blow away the idols on stage. 

“That’s good energy, let’s keep it up for the last hour of the night!” 

A dramatic groan rippled through the crowd.

“Fear not, we’re going to make this hour the best it could be, spreading cheer and hope throughout the hall tonight! But first, I think all of the members want to say a few words.”

The crowd whooped and cheered as Haruka stepped up to thank them all, a sea of blue greeting her as she bowed to the crowd, the tears evident as she handed off the mic to Minori, who promptly fumbled it. Luckily Airi snatched it out of the air just in time, swearing they hadn’t rehearsed that as a wave of orange crashed through the arena. Mizuki jumped up and down with the group as Minori laughed through own speech, jokingly lamenting that some things never changed. Shimmering pink lightstick hearts popped into existence and seemed to surf through the crowd as Airi gave her own speech, filled with the determination to do their oshi proud. 

Mafuyu unconsciously also raised her lightstick, now an emerald teal color, creating a glittering field for Shizuku as she brought up the rear, taking the mic in her hand and looking over the crowd. 

“Thank you all for coming tonight!” Shizuku took a deep breath, eyes tearing up at the lightsticks for her. “It’s been an amazing journey, and one that we’ll continue to take, spreading hope, with all of you.” 

“I just want to thank all of my fans, who have stood by me since before I was a part of More More Jump! And who believed in me even when I decided to be my true self. You’ve all been the strength I needed to get to today.” 

Mafuyu blinked as Shizuku looked in NiiGo’s direction, holding her gaze in such a way that she could have almost sworn that Shizuku was looking right at her, a smile beamed right for her. But that couldn’t be possible, not in this crowd, not when she was blending in with the rest of Shizuku’s supporters. It was definitely just some fan-service to the crowd.

“Thank you again for your support, and I hope that we’ll continue to share hope with you going far into the future!” Shizuku waved, handing the mic back to Airi. 

“Alright!! You heard us get a bit weepy but… I guess it’s time to follow us to the DREAM PLACE!”

Even after three encores, the crowd’s energy seemed limitless. 

“Ahhhh, Airi killed it on the last song…” Mizuki sighed, her voice languid with satisfaction, “I never get tired of Ice Drop…”

Slowly they followed the crowded winding out of the standing area back into the wide open corridors that fed into the stage. Most people went straight for the exits where the merch sales and shops would be. Mafuyu half-heartedly attempted to join them, only for three pairs of hands to pull her back before she could even take a single step.

“Pretty sure the handshake line is the other direction.” Ena jerked her head over to where smaller queues of people were forming. “You better hurry before you drag this out even longer.”

Left with no choice, Mafuyu made her way to join Shizuku’s handshake line; three pairs of eyes watching her every step of the way, holes being burned into the back of her expensive cardigan until the usher had torn her ticket and directed her to wait in a tucked away alcove for her personal minute and handshake.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting. It wasn’t like she was Mizuki who regularly attended these sorts of events. It wasn’t like she was Ena who had been attending more and more art exhibitions and gaining recognition for her work. It wasn’t like she was Kanade, who was just able to go with the flow in every pursuit that would better her compositions. No, she was just Mafuyu, and only just a little less of a wreck than she had been when she had first met all of them. 

But still, she was here. Waiting in line, waiting to see her again. She wasn’t sure what was compelling her to stay here. It’d be easy enough to slip away. Ena would chew her out for a month, but eventually she’d relent. It wasn’t like Airi’s opinion of Mafuyu could get any lower anyhow. Kanade would just nod in understanding and not bring it up again. Mizuki… Mizuki would be Mizuki and figure something out.

The person she was so desperately unsure if she wanted to see again though. What would she think? Would she be disappointed? Did she even know she was here? Had she actually picked her out of the crowd? Her thoughts jumbled further and further the closer she got to the front of the line; fingernails digging into her palms. Somehow, time continues passing despite her best efforts to fight against it and she ends up at the front of the line, a simple but thick curtain separating her from whatever fate awaited her on the other side. She could hear muffled laughter and voices as the current group finished their own minute of merriment.

All too soon and simultaneously and eternity later, the curtain was peeled back and another staff member gestured for her to walk up. For a brief moment, she could see Shizuku fiddling with what looked like a piece of scrap paper nervously, before the professionalism took over and a bright smile flashed her way.

There was no chorus of angels, no earth shattering revelation, no heart-rendering surge of emotion. There was just Shizuku, patiently waiting for her. Swallowing, Mafuyu took a step forward, and then another step, and then another step, and then another. She could almost hear the clock ticking away. And there she stood, looking down at the radiant, familiar, smiling face.

“Thank you for supporting me.” Shizuku smiled, pausing so that Mafuyu could introduce herself, and Mafuyu could have sworn that the pink flush across her face was real and not just makeup. 

“Mafuyu. Asahina Mafuyu.” She managed to choke out, almost mechanically recycling the generic lines that Mizuki had fed her. “I’ve been a fan for a long time, I’m glad to see you and everyone else doing amazing.”

“We’re so grateful for that support.” Shizuku replied back, her voice flowing smoothly and naturally, as if this was truly their first time meeting one another. The idol signed the small postcard with a flourish, addressing it to her. “I hope to count on your support going into the future as well.”

Mafuyu swallowed, her voice caught in her throat as Shizuku looked up at her, the emotion in her eyes unreadable as they held each other’s gaze. Could she count on her support? What could she offer her but heartbreak and heartache? 

“As long as you want it, I’ll support you,” She murmured, making her decision here and now, taking that leap of faith into the unknown. Her own ears flushed crimson at that. The words sounding so unnatural coming out of her mouth. And yet… 

The smile Shizuku offered along with her raised hand, boundless and filled with a newfound joy, was something she was not likely to forget anytime soon. Grasping the hand, Mafuyu gave it a gentle shake, feeling a slip of paper being palmed to her. 

A gentle tone trilled, signaling that time was up. Accepting the offered signed postcard, Mafuyu turned to leave, only sparing a single look backwards at the exit.

Trudging back to the group, Ena and Mizuki immediately pounced when she entered their field of view. “How’d it go???”

“Fine.” She held up the signed postcard, other hand firmly in her cardigan pocket.

“That’s it???” Mizuki squinted in disbelief. Mafuyu turned her head away, lips sealed. “Ahhh, I’m sure we’ll be hearing about it later anyhow. Guess let’s hurry back to the station before the last train leaves!”

“Did you have fun, Mafuyu?” Kanade inquired as they took their seats on the near empty train.

“I enjoyed it.” It didn’t hurt to admit that at the very least, she mused, her hand still tightly holding onto the piece of paper she had been passed, not daring to even look at it until she was somewhere more private.

Nodding, Kanade turned to look out the window. The four of them passed the ride in silence, finally feeling the evening’s exertions catching up to them. Soon it was Ena and Mizuki’s stop, the two giving muted goodbyes as they tried to preserve whatever was left of their voices. Shortly after Kanade stepped off, giving Mafuyu a quick hug goodbye. And then she was alone again, her only company the sounds of the train rolling onwards.

Slowly, she found the courage to pull the piece of paper out of her pocket, reading its contents. An address accompanied by a date and a time. 

Maybe she would get that second first meeting after all. And she would make sure to make the most of it this time around.

Chapter Text

She paused outside the shop. The pitter patter of the rain against Mafuyu’s umbrella echoed lightly through the small alley she found herself in. Pulling out the small ribbon of paper, now carefully laminated, Mafuyu checked over the details once more. The time of the meeting? Ten minutes from now according to her watch. The place? Roughly in front of where she was standing according to her phone. Glancing back at the shop, Mafuyu carefully read the shop’s sign.

CLOSED

Looking at the small chalkboard underneath the sign, she could see that the cafe had updated hours just for today, opening a few hours later than usual. The rain continued to come down around her as Mafuyu thought about what she was supposed to do. 

Should she just leave? Well… She didn’t have a good way of getting in touch with Shizuku anymore. Not without another favor from Ena at least. Should she wait? A crack of thunder in the distance seemed to fire a warning shot at her. Biting her lip, she paced a bit in the small clearing in front of the would-be meet up location. Lights twinkled behind the curtains in the cafe as she did so.

There was no harm in at least trying to knock right? She reasoned to herself. Swallowing, she gave a solid three knocks on the well-worn wooden door. Pausing for a moment, and not really hearing anything over the sound of the rain, she turned to leave, shoulders slumped. The creak of wood and the tinkling of a bell stopped her as she began to step away.

“Are you Ms. Asahina?” A kind voice comes from the doorway. Mafuyu turns to see an older woman with wispy brown hair looking over at her. “Our cute little Shizuku mentioned that you’d be coming. I was wondering if you’d make it given the rain. Please, come in, come in. It’s cold out.”

“Ah. Yes, that’s me. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” Bowing slightly in response, Mafuyu allowed herself to be ushered inside. Immediately as she stepped across the threshold, a soft warmth enveloped her. The heater hummed overhead, its fan moving warm air through the room. The rain faded to gentle taps against the windows as the door shut behind her.

“Please, hang your coat on that rack. You can set your umbrella over in the stand as well!” The presumed cafe owner called out as she moved to step into the kitchen. “Have a seat at that table with a setting, I’ll get you a little something to drink as you wait. Shizuku let me know she’s running a bit late.”

Seating herself at the aforementioned table, Mafuyu released the breath she had been holding. She had made it at last. Finally able to relax a bit, she let her eyes wander around the warmly-lit space. Countless pictures and knick knacks decorated the small and homey cafe. Coffee and tea brewing paraphernalia lined the shelves. Various patrons populated the pictures, some engaged in lively discussions, others quietly enjoying their drinks with a book. One picture in particular caught her eye, with what looked like Shizuku napping and two other regulars posing by her. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards at the sight.

“That was from last year, a few months after they had done a bit of a segment on this place in one of their shows.” Mafuyu started as a glass of water and a menu was set down in front of her.

“Ah! Thank you…” She replied on autopilot as she sought to calm her nerves. “Seems like she’s well liked around here?”

“The other regulars definitely gave her grief over turning the place upside down with all of their fans for a while…” The cafe owner chuckled fondly as she thought back on the memory. “But we got a few new regulars out of it, and things settled down without too much fuss.”

“I see…” A small sense of relief filled her, as if something tightly gripping her heart had finally uncoiled. If she got nothing else out of today, seeing Shizuku thrive would be worth it.

“Anyhow, Shizuku should be here any minute… But feel free to order anything off the menu and I’ll put it on Shizuku’s tab.” She gave a conspiratorial wink to the purple haired girl. “I’ll call my old man down to help brew any drinks that catch your fancy.”

The cafe owner made her way back towards the counter, beginning her prep for the evening opening. Glancing down, Mafuyu picked up the menu that had been offered to her. She scanned through it briefly. Short and to the point. A few specialty coffees from Africa and South America, green and black tea with pot service, and seasonal smoothies comprised the drink menu. A few sandwiches and toast options served as savory snacks for the more peckish patrons. A honed down menu that knew what it was good at and without any other frills. As she continued to ponder the menu, the door burst open, the bell ringing irregularly as the clappers swung about frenetically. The sound of rain filled her ears as she turned back to see a particular blue-haired idol stepping across the threshold.

“I’m so sorry! The rain made it hard to get here. I didn’t keep either of you waiting too long did I?” Closing the door behind her, Shizuku pulled off her mask and hat, shaking loose a disheveled and bunched up ponytail. Mafuyu felt herself unconsciously swallow at the sight. Shizuku glanced towards her, eyes bright, cheeks flushed, a small shy smile blooming. “It’s good to see you again, Mafuyu!”

Mafuyu mentally clapped her hands against her cheeks, struggling to pull herself back into the present and respond properly. “I’ve only been here a few minutes, you didn’t keep me waiting long. I’m glad to see you again as well, Shizuku.”

At those words, Shizuku’s smile grew wider, and Mafuyu could have sworn that the blush deepened. “Give me a moment and I’ll join you!”

She moved to hang up her hat and coat as well as set her umbrella in the stand. After a brief clatter, Shizuku slid into the seat across from Mafuyu at their small table. Mafuyu found herself averting her eyes, fidgeting with the menu to avoid meeting her gaze. The initial electricity of meeting again faded as silence fell between the two again; both wondering how to thaw the ice that had formed in the two years since they had last properly spoken. 

“Have you been doing well?” She winced at her voice cracking mid-sentence. It took all her self-control not to dive into the water that had been given to her earlier. Shizuku tactfully pretended not to notice the crack in her voice, instead tapping her chin thoughtfully.

“It’s been… Busy? But a good kind of busy. Just a bit overwhelming I guess. I’m glad we were able to steal away a little time to catch up after all of this time.” Mafuyu thought she would wilt under the warmth of Shizuku’s smile. What had she done to deserve such kindness? Such overwhelming affection?

“Your performance was amazing. Thank you all for inviting us to watch.” The lyricist looked slightly up to meet Shizuku’s shimmering eyes.

“I’ll let the others know you enjoyed it… I was hoping you would.” A light pink blush settled across the idol’s cheeks at the compliment as she shyly looked down at the table, playing with a strand of her hair.

“How- How else have your activities been?” The words came, slowly, but they came to her. The rhythm of a conversation settled into a gentle partnership back and forth.

“Ah before that, let me order us some drinks, the tea here is amazing. Manager! Could we get two pots of black tea?”

“Sure! I’ll call the old man down.” The owner called back from the kitchen.

Mafuyu found herself nodding along as Shizuku began to regale her with the group’s escapades. A small but genuine smile tugged at her mouth as the mention of Airi’s chocolate making bonanza. She found herself jumping in as well, mentioning some of the things that Mizuki and Ena had embellished about the story. Mafuyu’s heart sang as Shizuku laughed at how the story had evolved with each person’s retelling. 

Their conversation wound like a river, exploring any place they could, skipping through and around topics as necessary. How natural it felt, Mafuyu thought to herself, the way they settled into things as if two years hadn’t passed.  The lyricist found herself relaxing more the longer the conversation went on. She only tensed slightly when the door opened again, and the cafe owner’s husband began to brew their tea. Her words trailed off as she found herself looking at the deft and deliberate movements he made. Shizuku let the silence linger, her own gaze locked onto Mafuyu’s face. Relief crinkled the corners of her eyes at Mafuyu’s curiosity. Even if the young woman across from her couldn’t tell, Shizuku knew just how hard Mafuyu was trying. Her mind settled on the small envelope she had left in her coat pocket. Maybe today would be the day.

“Two black tea sets for the lovely ladies.” The words seemed incongruous with the gruff voice speaking them, but kindly eyes glanced between the two. “Enjoy.”

Without another word, he stepped back out, the close of the door followed by the thud of shoes against the wooden stairs outside. Shizuku moved her hand away, busying herself with the tea set. Mafuyu almost cried out at the loss of contact, but held her voice in, if only barely. Looking down at her own tea set, she glanced back at Shizuku to see what she was doing. 

Shizuku hummed to herself as she placed a sugar cube into her cup. Slowly, she poured tea over the cube, the granules dissolving into the steaming and shimmering liquid. Mafuyu mimicked her motions, adding the cube in, then slowly pouring in the tea until it dissolved. She took a sip, trying to imagine the flavors it might have. All the while, Shizuku watched her, blue-grey eyes full of warmth.

“How is it?” Shizuku asks softly, setting down her own cup with a light clink .

“It’s…” Mafuyu let her voice trail off as she wrestled with how honest to be. “It’s… To tell you the truth… I still have trouble tasting things…”

The lyricist felt her breath hitch in her throat at her admission. Equal parts relief and shame filled her. Even now, as she did her best to work through things every month, who knew when she would be whole. Suddenly a warmth spread from the top of her hand again, sending tingles up and down her arm at the contact. Looking down, she saw Shizuku’s hand on top of hers once more. She swallowed. As she met the idol’s eyes, she found herself struck by just how comforting and familiar they were. Boundless warmth, directed squarely at her, enveloped her, loosening the vice in her chest.

“It’s okay, Mafuyu.” A smile with no pity, only a deep affection. “If you can’t taste it yet, would you like me to describe how it tastes to me?”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Mafuyu nodded. Shizuku took another sip, closing her eyes. A beat passed. Shizuku launched into her best attempt at being a tea sommelier. Mafuyu felt her lips twitch as Shizuku spoke of the light and clean fruity notes, the spice that hung on her tongue, the flower notes that reminded her of floral bouquets. Her eyes squeezed tight, a deep concentration squeezed into her features as she took sip by sip, letting the tea swirl across her tongue. 

Even if she couldn’t match the flavors to the words, as she sipped her own tea the same warmth from before infused her. Shizuku peeked out briefly, almost squealing in delight at the way the corners of Mafuyu’s mouth turned up in a smile. 

“Umm…” Shizuku swallowed as her brain tried to get back into order. “How- Where did I leave off before we started the tea?”

“You were about to tell me about the aquarium promotion trip?”

“Oh right!! Haruka… It was amazing! Haruka looked as though she was ready to jump over the barricade separating her from the penguins!” The corners of Shizuku’s eyes crinkled further as she tried not to laugh. “Minori and the rest of the aquarium staff had quite the shock.”

“I’m glad to hear that even Haruka is the same as before.” Mafuyu remarked thoughtfully, running her finger around the edge of the saucer. “Everyone is doing well then?”

“Mmmm! We’ve been doing wonderfully… Balancing university and our career has been… Hard… But…” Shizuku met Mafuyu’s eyes again, sincerity ringing though those clear eyes. “All of our family, friends, and fans have been there for us and we’re so grateful for that.”

Mafuyu swallowed, a shadow crossing over her face. She should have been one of those friends, one of her fans, but she had vanished without a word. Shizuku, noticing Mafuyu getting lost in her own thoughts again, gently nudged her.

“How have you been, Mafuyu?” She felt her words trail off into uncertainty as blue-grey eyes met purple ones once more. 

“I-” She paused. There was a lot she could say. There was even more that she wasn’t sure she was able to say. Was she ready for this? Despite the warmth she was basking in, cold and inky darkness seemed to snake up her torso, ensnaring her throat.

“You don’t need to do it all at once.” She glanced up, startled, meeting those crystal blue-grey eyes for the umpteenth time today. A warm hand settled on hers again and she could feel the electricity from the touch race up and down her spine.  Mafuyu swallowed. Relief filled her at the sudden distraction from needing to answer. She focused on the sensation of the hand that remained loosely on top of hers. Shizuku watched with a smile. Squeezing the hand loosely, Shizuku giggled as Mafuyu looked up, a tinge of pink now mirrored on both of their cheeks. Mafuyu found her mouth twitching upwards at Shizuku’s giggles, as her anxiety and doubt slowly withered away. A sound that she hadn’t heard in so long. No… This wasn’t the time to be a coward.

“I’ve been… Better…” Mafuyu finally breathed out. “School has been a nice change of pace and I’ve moved into my own place now.”

“That’s great! How has being on your own been?” Mafuyu could feel Shizuku squeezing her hand encouragingly, the warmth ebbing and flowing as she relaxed her grip again.

“It’s been… Different…” Words came and they went. Another shuddering breath as she braced herself. “I- I-”

Shizuku squeezed her hand again, encouraging her to take a breath. To take her time. Such a small thing, but Mafuyu felt ready to collapse in tears. Slowly, she composed herself again as she looked into the blue-grey eyes that offered no judgment, only that same unconditional warmth that a small part of her had been craving for all these years.

“I.. I started talk therapy… Just a session a month.” She breathed out, feeling as though a weight that had been trapped over her chest had dissolved at last. Even knowing this, those eyes refused to judge her, only shower her in warmth as the Shizuku moved to clasp Mafuyu’s hands in her own. The remaining darkness that crept up on her seemed to dissolve in Shizuku’s gaze. 

“How has that been?” The idol gently nudged her onwards.

“It’s… strange?” Mafuyu broke eye contact, looking into her cup again. “It’s helped. I- I didn’t realize how much talking to someone with no preconceptions of who I was, knew nothing about about me… It… It’s been… It’s been good.

“It’s actually…” The lyricist swallows. “It’s actually why- why I ended up joining the university archery club late last year. She encouraged me to try to find that centering in a new way.”

“That’s wonderful!” Shizuku exclaimed, continuing to hold onto her hands. Mafuyu let herself relish in that sensation, the softness of the palms surrounding her hands, buffering them against gravity. 

“H-have you kept up with archery?” She asked shyly, trying to steer the conversation on a different track. 

“I haven’t but…” Shizuku launched into descriptions of the various sports and activities she and her other group members had been participating in. Mafuyu let herself relax as Shizuku deftly steered the conversation. Years of being a professional idol had definitely kept her ability to guide the mood sharp. 

As the two enjoyed the rest of the pot, a calm fell between the pair. The soft sounds of rain tapping against the window and the clink of tea cups against porcelain all served to wrap them in a little world with only the two of them. No expectations, just each other’s company. It felt like a dream to be sitting across from one another again. It was as though they had each been given a fresh start, a clean slate. When was the last time Mafuyu had felt so at ease? There she was, swaddled in a warmth she thought would be beyond her. Eventually though, all things came to an end.

“Ah, Shizuku!” The proprietress called out from the back, “You’ll probably want to wrap up soon! We'll be opening in a little while!”

Mafuyu blinked, turning her left hand around to check her wrist watch. Sure enough, it was an hour until the cafe opened for the evening. Shizuku glanced across the small table. If she was being honest with herself, she wanted to break out into more giggles. Somehow, in the past two years Mafuyu had only gotten easier for her to read. The embers in the idol’s heart glowed. Embers that she had stoked and tended to the past two years, always keeping trust in her heart. Blue-grey eyes once again drifted towards the coat rack. Sometimes preparations and hope were duly rewarded.

Across from the idol, Mafuyu played with her napkin. Words seemed to catch themselves in her throat once more. Always two steps forward and one step back… It was easy to enjoy Shizuku’s company, especially when she was the one who offered it. But who was she to feel that she had the right to ask for more of it? 

“I-” Mafuyu took a deep breath, “I had a great time today, Shizuku. It was good to see you again.”

“Likewise.” Shizuku smiled warmly at the slightly flustered Mafuyu, desperately holding back a giggle at how cute she was being. “I’m so glad we were able to catch up like this. Thank you for sharing all that you did with me.”

“If- If you had some free time in the future.” Mafuyu felt her cheeks grow hot and her chest tighten. Her stomach seemed to churn as she tried to get the words out. “Would- Would you like to do this again sometime?”

Shizuku suddenly stood up. Mafuyu stood as well, confused and suddenly nervous. It wasn’t like Shizuku to just not respond. As the idol walked to her coat, Mafuyu looked back at the phone that she had left behind on the table. Her mind goes blank as she sees the same purple rabbit, slightly more scratched, hanging from the phone. Hearing the rustling of fabric, Mafuyu’s head jerks back up as she calls out.

“Shizuk-” Mafuyu started before blinking as Shiuzku held out a sealed envelope to her. Looking back and forth from the envelope to Shizuku’s face, she slowly realized that a faint dusting of pink had settled itself onto her face. Wordlessly, she takes the envelope and glances back at Shizuku.

“Um.. I wasn’t sure but…” It was Shizuku’s turn to let her voice trail away in nerves. “”If you were serious about wanting to meet again and staying in touch, please read this when you get home.”

Swallowing, she nods and accepts the envelope. Gingerly, as though it would shatter into a million pieces, she slides it into a pocket in her bag. Shizuku watches as the envelope is safely tucked away, letting loose her own unintended sigh of relief at having followed through. 

“Um…” Shizuku shuffled her feet, looking shyly at Mafuyu. “Let- let me know when you read it then.?”

She nods. “I will.”

The trace of worry on Shizuku’s face vanishes at Mafuyu’s soft and confident declaration. Beaming brightly at her, she nods, opening and closing her mouth a few times in indecision. “Oh…”

The soft puffiness of her jacket pillowed up against her blouse as Shizuku seizes her in a hug. The feeling almost sending Mafuyu into shock. Blinking, Mafuyu slowly wraps her arms around Shizuku, returning the hug. 

“I’ll see you then, Mafuyu!” In an instant she was gone, leaving Mafuyu stunned and standing in place.

Collecting herself, she pulled on her own coat and bag, bracing herself for the rain. Hearing the clattering in the kitchen again, she turns.

“Um! Thank you so much, I appreciated the hospitality!” Mafuyu called out to the back, bowing as the proprietor came out from the kitchen to bring out additional table settings.

“Good luck!” She winked knowingly at the still dazed lyricist. “Please take care of her.”

“I-” She pauses, willing the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty away. “I’ll do my best.”

Stepping into the rain, she releases a breath. White mist flows out into the chilly air, but Mafuyu barely feels it. A deep seated warmth settled within her. Adjusting her bag, she sets off towards the station to make her way home.

She was barely at the train station when news of the day began to leak. First slowly. Then all at once. Mafuyu had scarcely made it home before her phone was inundated by notifications. Swiping through them, she could see a majority were from Mizuki and Ena. Dating Shizuku’s roommate came with some perks, gossip-wise at least. Pointedly ignoring the pair, she thumbs over Kanade’s profile picture, taking a breath before clicking into it.

「I heard that it went well!」

Simple. Short. To the point. Mafuyu felt the corners of her mouth twitch again. Reaching into her bag, she touched the envelope that Shizuku had handed over to her. She zipped the pocket up once again, returning to her phone as she replied in kind.

「It did.」

Chapter Text

Somehow the lead up to a second date was more nerve-wracking than the first. Mafuyu wasn’t sure how she found the courage to send Shizuku that message. Mizuki swore up and down that  no one had spiked her drink.

“ Hey! That’s not the kind of pranks we’d play! Besides, what if Kanade accidentally drank your drink instead!! She’d be out cold! Enanan and I would never risk that!”

She had to admit it. It would be pretty out of character for either Mizuki or Ena to do that, let alone Kanade. But still, there was no way she could have found the courage otherwise, right?

Regardless of how she found it, it had come to her. And now she had to face the consequences of her actions. Namely, the dearth of date-worthy outfits in her closet. She cycled through the hangers one by one, taking only twenty minutes before circling back to the start. Sighing she stared at her phone. She promised herself never again… But maybe hell had frozen over and it was time to see how they redecorated. Grimacing, she brought her DMs with Mizuki as she braced herself for a second shopping session.

Mercifully it had passed in a blur and she found herself waiting by the station. Smoothing out her skirt, Mafuyu took a deep breath. “ It’s chic, you’ll look amazing!” Mizuki had chortled as they finally wandered out of the shopping street. Five hours of her life had vanished like smoke and transformed itself into three paper shopping bags filled with clothes. Mafuyu played with the bracelets that Mizuki had insisted on including with the ensemble. At least it gave her something to do while she wai-

“Mafuyu!”

In an instant, everything she had been thinking about seemed to melt away. Why had she even been worried? Even when she was attempting to go incognito, Shizuku’s bright eyes shone brilliantly. A special shine reserved just for her. The air left her lungs as their eyes met, blown away at this second first chance. 

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long?” Shizuku sucked in a deep breath, winded from her sprint over from her last event. Mafuyu giggled unconsciously at the sight. A moment passed between the two, as they gazed at one another. Basking at seeing sides of each other previously unknown.

Taking a deep breath of her own, Mafuyu offered her hand. “Shall we?”

The days flashed by in a whirlwind. Between classes, club practice, and circle work, somehow Mafuyu managed to sneak in time to escape with Shizuku. Breathers in the library annex where people were too busy studying to recognize the idol. Walks in the park before Shizuku had to leave for a recording session or group practice. Moments blended together into a colorful mosaic of memories as the two settled into an unstable equilibrium. More than friends, less than lovers. Riding the edge of an unspoken line that Mafuyu was still terrified to cross. 

One date stood out though.

“Um… There’s…” Mafuyu felt her mouth dry up as she spoke, suddenly feeling the pinpricks of nerves race up and down her spine. “There’s a small friendly meet between schools for my club next month… If you’d like to come and watch me…”

Her voice trailed off as she stared into her cup of coffee. The bustle of the city seemed so far away while they took a break in the small rest area in the middle of the park. Mafuyu waited, the steaming from her drink tickling her cheeks.

“I’ll be there!” Shizuku exclaimed as her own brain caught up with what Mafuyu had asked. Her eyes shone again, sparkling bright. “Um… When is it? I’ll ask the group if we need to move stuff around!! I might not be able to stay the whole time, but I’ll be there!”

True to her word, Shizuku had shown up. Just in time for the semi-finals and finals. Mafuyu caught a glimpse of the blue-haired idol in the midst of the crowd. Squashed on either side of her was another pair of pink-haired individuals that looked just vaguely familiar. Her mouth twitched at the sight.

She had sailed through the semi-finals to the roar of her team and found herself standing at the shooting line for the finals. Everything else faded away. Her mind was silent for the first time in eons, just a blissful calm. She took a breath. Let the count ring out slowly in her head. As she counted down to zero, she couldn’t remember consciously releasing the bowstring. As she blinked though, suddenly she felt herself swarmed by her team, tugging at her arm, cheering.

If anyone asked her though, she wouldn’t be able to remember any of that, not the medal ceremony where her team piled onto her again for the group photo, not the moment where Mizuki and Ena jumped onto her as Shizuku and Airi cheered them on in the background. No, the one moment she remembered was the brief quiet moment afterwards. Just like her last shot, she couldn’t remember how it happened, only that it happened. Strong arms pulling her in close, her own clutching tightly at a wiry back. A soft pillowy feeling with a lingering subtle sweetness that caused her sense of taste to lurch into life.

Mafuyu would linger on the taste of that kiss for months to come.

“Ah…” Shizuku blinked. The pair looked up from their cafe table as the distant boom of thunder rumbled overhead. Their day off together had started with bright and clear skies and only the smallest chance of rain. A chance that had developed into sheets upon sheets of rain pouring overhead for the past two hours.

“Probably not letting up anytime soon huh..” Someone at a nearby table muttered, checking his phone. “Damn…”

Mafuyu was glad that she didn’t have any plans for the evening. It had been freeing to be done with exams and club activities and be able to just… Breath. A rare weekend to just relax. She glanced across the table at Shizuku, seeing her partner’s brow was deeply furrowed as she stared at her phone.

“Need help?” She teased lightly. Shizuku’s cheeks turned pink at the ribbing. Looking up, the idol gave her girlfriend a fake pout at the more than justified insinuation.

“Airi was just letting me know that trains weren’t running the rest of the night so she’d be staying with Mizuki and Ena overnight.” Shizuku bit her lip looking across the table. “Are you going to be able to get home tonight?”

“Hmmm…” Mafuyu paused. It would definitely be much more of a pain, and probably expensive, to head back to her apartment with the trains stopped. That is, if she could even hail a taxi in this weather. “I can probably find an overnight cafe or capsule hotel to stay at and just study through the night.”

Pulling out her own phone, she began to scroll through lists of places nearby to jot down. It was almost guaranteed that she’d need to call in to a few places to find a place given how long the storm had been dumping rain over the city. Across from her, Shizuku worried her phone charm between her fingers. Looking down at the well worn rabbit and back up and Mafuyu, she took a deep breath.

“Wouldyouliketostaythenightwithme?”

Mafuyu blinked at the sudden outburst, looking up with a look of confusion painted across her face. “Um?”

“Just…” Shizuku took in a breath, trying not to rush through it this time. “Well… Airi and mine’s apartment is pretty close by… It’d probably be more comfortable for you as well, and…”

Another deep breath. This wasn’t the way she wanted to invite her over for the first time. But she was going to seize the moment when it presented itself.

“And I’d feel a bit more at ease knowing you were safe…” The tips of the idol’s ears flushed maroon. “I-I I don’t want to impose though, so if you’d rathe-”

The purple haired lyricist squeezed her partner’s hand. Shizuku squeaked and looked up at the warm sensation. Mafuyu’s face was still incredibly hard to read for most people, but Shizuku was proud that she was now much more well-versed in the art. From the way her the corners of those deep purple eyes would soften to the subtle twitches at the corners of her mouth, Shizuku felt her nerves dissipate. The blush returned to her cheek as warmth spread from her hand.

“I’d love to stay over.” Mafuyu replied gently, “You’ve saved me a lot of trouble.”

Shizuku nodded vigorously, still relishing in the warmth from Mafuyu’s hand over hers. As the pair finished their drinks, they began to make their way through the crowds back towards Shizuku’s shared flat. Taking a quick detour at the station shopping mall, they grabbed a few essentials for the evening to help them weather the storm. They weren’t alone in that idea as they scrounged through the shelves for snacks and a few toiletries for Mafuyu. Soon though, they were on their way, purchases precariously secured in plastic bags. 

Ducking and weaving through the emptying cityscape, the bags and the women holding onto them quickly became drenched from the time between awnings.The pair laughed though as the rain relentlessly fell around them, entwined hands providing an ember of warmth to get them through their journey. The splash of their shoes in puddle after puddle soon gave way to the brightly lit entranceway signifying the lobby of the apartment complex. Gingerly shaking out their flimsy umbrellas and wiping their shoes off, they winced in unison at the squelching noises of their steps as they crossed the lobby towards the staircase.

It didn’t take long before they reached Shizuku’s floor. Fumbling through her backpack, the drenched blue-hair idol pulled out a keyring, looking for the right one. It was only now, as Shizuku began to turn the key, did Mafuyu slowly realize the big step the pair were taking. Another first for them. She unconsciously touched her lips, thinking back to the tournament from nearly a year back. Her stomach twisted in a mix of anxiety and anticipation. Even now, two years down the line, she still wondered if she deserved any of the happiness that Shizuku had given freely to her.

“We’re back! Home sweet home!” Shizuku called out into the empty apartment. She stepped across the threshold, settling her keychain onto a hook decorated with a small rabbit sticker. “Oh!! Let me get you a new pair of slippers.”

Shizuku disappeared into the nearby closet, oblivious to the fact that Mafuyu seemed rooted right outside the door. Taking a deep breath, Mafuyu braced herself. Her heartbeat rang in her ears as she slowly crossed the threshold. No choir sang as she crossed, but it was as if something had changed in her. Looking around, she took in all the little details. Eyes scanned across the knick knacks that decorated the tops of chests and drawers, the small decorations throughout the hallway. Her eyes paused over the two keychain hooks by the entryway, her mouth twitching upwards at the sight as she closed the door behind her.

“These might be a little bit big but…” Shizuku paused again, blushing slightly as she thought through what she was about to say. “But, maybe we can get you a better fitting one the next time you come over?”

Mafuyu chuckled at Shizuku’s shy invitation for the future before her nose twitched. Unbidden, she sneezed; suddenly feeling the chill of the evening soaking through her. 

“Ah!! Let me get us some towels and get the water warmed up!!” Shizuku ran off again before Mafuyu could respond. Setting the wet bags in the entryway for now, Mafuyu gingerly peeled off her own shoes and socks before setting herself down on the step up into the hallway. Letting loose a shaky breath she stared at the closed door, the sound of cupboard doors creaking open and shut as Shizuku ferreted out towels for the two of them to dry off. A light flipped on in a separate room down the way and soon after the sound of running water flowed out through the hallway, followed by a slightly drier Shizuku.

“Sorry! I got the water running! You should take the first bath!” Shizuku shoved two fresh towels into Mafuyu’s hands, her own free hand starting to vigorously blot out the water from her own lengthy locks. “I’ll grab you a change of clothes and start making us a bit of a nightcap!”

Once again, before Mafuyu even had a chance to respond, Shizuku sped off into the small apartment she shared with Airi. Using the smaller of the two towels, she gingerly dried off the excess water soaking through her. At least she wouldn’t create puddles every step towards the bathroom. She quickly crossed the hallway and entered the door Shizuku had left ajar, closing it behind her. 

Taking in a deep breath, she began to pull off the soaked through clothing clinging to her skin. Shaking from the sudden chill, she quickly made her way over to the running shower. Steam that fogged up the glass door plowed outwards as Mafuyu pulled the door open. The warmth of the condensation caused her to shiver.

Stepping fully into the shower, Mafuyu let the hot water wash over her. Her heart thudded in her chest. Taking in the various toiletries, Mafuyu slowly began to work through her normal routine. Thoughts bunched up and tangled together as she scrubbed vigorously, as though she could scrub those thoughts out of her head. A knock on the door broke her out of her daze.

“Mafuyu, do you need anything else?” Shizuku called out from the other side of the bathroom door. “I left a change of clothes right outside! I’ll put your clothes in the washer after you’re done so they’ll be fresh for tomorrow!”

“Thank you!” She called back, wincing at her good girl voice that had cracked through. Even now she couldn’t help it at times. “I’ll be out soon, sorry for taking so long.”

“Take your time!” Shizuku’s soft padding steps soon faded and were drowned out by the running water.

Mafuyu glanced down at her arm, swallowing at the raw redness from where she had been mindlessly scouring. Setting the bath sponge aside, she let the water run over her hair one last time to rinse off the conditioner. One step at a time , she reminded herself. One step at a time.  

Toweling herself off, she peeked out the door to see a folded t-shirt and one of the sealed pairs of underwear they had picked up earlier. Clattering sounds and the loud crinkling of foil and plastic echoed around the hallway. Pulling the clothes inside, Mafuyu gave them a quick once-over. A simple light blue t-shirt and shorts. A smile tugged at Mafuyu’s mouth. Even if she had seen photos of Shizuku in casualwear, it still amazed her how she could make anything look like a fashion item. 

Pulling on the pair of underwear and throwing the t-shirt over her, Mafuyu stretched, marveling at how even the t-shirt seemed to billow around her. Cinching the shorts tighter, she wrapped the towel around her hair before stepping back out into the now warmed up hallway.

“The bath is free now.” She called out softly as she stepped into the small living room and kitchen area. 

“Ah okay!” Shizuku peeked out from under the kitchen counter where she was organizing the bags from their earlier excursion. “Make yourself comfortable on the couch! I made some herbal tea to warm you up! Feel free to use the blanket as well. It’s my favorite on a rainy day!”

“Alright, take your time in the shower.”

Mafuyu sighed, letting herself drop onto the couch like a bag of rocks as Shizuku vanished around the corner. The exhaustion of the day was finally catching up with her, present anxieties not helping the matter at all. Pouring out some of the tea from the thermos, Mafuyu inhaled, the steam tickling her nose. Alternating between blowing to cool off the piping hot liquid, and sipping gingerly, warmth slowly percolated from inside her.

Pulling the offered blanket around her lap, Mafuyu’s eyes slowly took in the rest of the living room. Picture frames dotted the various cupboards and storage areas, both featuring More More Jump members and Shizuku out with others outside of her circle. Shiho’s unamused and embarrassed face featured prominently in a few of the photos, taken backstage from some of Leo/Need’s concerts. Small bits of merch were also strewn about. A small clover plush pillow settled on the recliner across from her with a lightstick jammed between the couch cushion, likely forgotten after a tussle. 

Mafuyu held the cup in her hand, the radiating heat soothing her and helping to melt away the lingering anxieties as the soft plush blanket warded against any from returning. Closing her eyes, she felt surrounded by Shizuku’s warmth, gently wrapping around her and creating a small bubble just for her. 

How long had it been since she could just feel so… Safe. That was the word she was looking for. No expectations, no judgment, just warmth. Her slowly dropping eyes jerked open as a hand tapped her on the shoulder. Looking up, Shizuku smiled down upon her, suppressing a giggle at how cute the sleepy Mafuyu had looked.

“I set out the futons.” Shizuku broke the silence as Mafuyu looked away, a faint tinge of pink coloring her ears and cheeks. “It’s been a long day, maybe we just turn in for the night and hope the storm passes afterwards?”

Still searching for her voice, Mafuyu nods. Leaving the blanket in a pile on the couch, she pads after Shizuku, nightlights in the hall flickering as the pair passed by. Shizuku froze outside an ajar door, surprising Mafuyu who slid to a halt to stop herself from running into her.

“Um… It’s a bit messy, I tried to clean up but…” Shizuku gripped the handle tightly. Mafuyu wondered why she had even been worried earlier in the evening. Laying a hand on Shizuku’s, she gently helped her push the door fully open. Shizuku went inside first, nervously fidgeting by her desk. Mafuyu stood before the doorway, a strange sense of deja vu from earlier in the day.

She could see the two separate fluffy futons side-by-side. A smile twitched across her face once more. What had she been worried about? Shizuku would never rush her, would never try to push too fast unless Mafuyu asked her to.

Looking up, deep purple eyes met pale blue-grey ones. In an instant, it was as if they had a shared revelation. The rain lashed against the windows, but neither could hear it, both captivated by the other. Mafuyu felt a tear slowly drip down, followed by another one. Shizuku tentatively made a move towards her, but Mafuyu shook her head with a smile.

Warmth pooled in Mafuyu’s heart as she took a deep breath, and stepped across the threshold, letting the door close with a click behind her.