Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Today was going to be a busy day for Frye Onaga. There were announcements to make, people to meet, and way too many hands to shake. It was a simple meeting of bands, but everything had to be perfect before they got to Splatsville. That meant no dilly-dallying, and absolutely no messing around.

So why was she standing outside of Zero's room, idly watching as the octoling absentmindedly touched herself?

Wait, that sounded wrong. Shit.

Frye creaked the door open a bit more, still a little perplexed by what she was looking at. Zero, gravity manipulator extraordinaire and quickest learner of rocket science ever known to man, seemed to be simply rubbing her chest while staring at a wall. It wasn't the weirdest thing she had done, but it was certainly up there.

"Yo Zeers," Frye knocked a few times on the already half-open door, "You mind if I come in?"

"Let me see," the octoling mumbled to herself for a second, then gave Frye a quick thumbs-up, "Yeh, my mind is fine with that."

"That's-" Frye sighed, smiling as she sat down beside Zero, "Nevermind. What're you doing?"

"Contemplating," Zero said, turning her attention back to the wall.

"Contemplating... what?"

"I am fresh," Zero nodded, as if she was talking to some other third person, "But I am not having a sexy outfit."

"A sexy outfit?" Frye asked, "You sure you really want one of those, Zeers? That's a REAL slippery slope, girl."

"How is it slippery to be pretty?" Zero asked, then got a little flustered, "Did I mess up a word again? I was thinking that sexy means pretty, no? Or is it another word that has a hidden meaning, like hoe?"

"Just a sec," Frye held out her hands, "Who is teaching you these words? Is it Kay? I swear if it's Kay-"

"No," Zero said, swinging her legs off of the bed, "I am learning words from Pearl, since 'Rina gives me psychics lessons."

"Psychics?" Frye's eyes widened for a second, then she just let out a small chuckle, "You mean physics?"

"I was told there is no difference, in this case," Zero smiled, "Pearl is very smart with words."

"I'm sure she is," Frye scoffed, "So what, you want a pretty outfit? What exactly were you thinking? Maybe a nice dress, or maybe a sari like mine, or-"

"Linjeer," Zero interrupted, smiling widely as she grabbed her pink octoling plush off of the ground. She then began using her free hand to trace small patterns across her nipple-less breasts, much like before. "I was told that it is like an art piece that you can put on your skin, but is not permanent like a tattoo."

"Linjeer-" Frye nearly spat out her non-existent wine, going bug-eyed as she turned to Zero, "You mean lingerie?!"

"Oh, that is the pronunciation," Zero nodded, "Yes, I mean lingerie."

Frye paused, trying to choose her words very carefully. On one hand, Zero was her own woman, who could wear whatever the shell she wanted. On the other, she was a little baby bean who had to be protected at all costs. On the other other hand, Kay would murder her if anything bad happened to her "Lil' sis".

"Look, Zero..." okay, she was already slipping. Don't worry though, this can be salvaged, no problem. Maybe if she showed Zero plenty of other clothes, maybe she could convince her just to wear those! "How about we go shopping?"

"Shopping?" Zero's eyes widened slightly as she processed the word in her brain, "Ooh! Shopping!"

"Yeah!" Frye sat up, "Just get yourself dressed, and I can show you to Jelonzo's! You ever been there?"

"No," Zero was giddy, her widening smile making her look more and more like an emoticon, "Is it a good shop?"

"One of the best!" Frye proclaimed, walking out of the room and leaving Zero to get herself dressed. She giggled mischievously to herself as she got her own clothes in order, replacing her pajama pants for the real deal. She really had made the perfect little plan.

Now it was just up to Zero not messing it up somehow. Easy enough, right?

---

Zero was still giddy as she got off the train and stepped out into Inkopolis Plaza, mind just racing with all of the fresh fits she could get. None of them would be nearly as comfy as what she currently wore, a simple striped beanie and a thin turtleneck, but it was always fun to switch it up once in a while.

Frye had been acting kind of strange ever since she had suggested the trip, though. The inkling seemed to know something that Zero didn't. Now, she probably actually knew plenty of things Zero didn't, but she was acting kind of weird about this one. She was kind of reserved, while also acting a bit like a cartoonish villain. It was a strange contrast, made even weirder by the fact that no secrets should have to be kept.

I mean, the reason Zero wanted to try lingerie in the first place was because of Frye. Well, not exactly Frye, but how Frye reacted when she saw Shiver wearing it. Zero never got a really good look, as she had to peek through a keyhole, but she could definitely hear how much they both loved it. Lots of smooching, it sounded like, and that's what Zero wanted. Not from Frye, of course, but from somebody else.

Who that somebody else was, she'd rather not say. Anyways, there was Jelonzo's!

Zero grabbed Frye by the arm, dragging the inkling with her as she eagerly rushed into the store. She stopped, just barely avoiding tripping over a small jellyfish, who just so happened to be the clerk and shopkeep himself, Jelonzo.

"Hola!" Zero waved happily, then let her gaze drift slowly around the store. She just stood there in awe as she saw all of the different clothes. Everything she could think of under the moon, though strangely no lingerie.

"You need any help?" Jelonzo chuckled, stretching an arm up and tapping Zero's shoulder, "I know where everything is, so if you have any questions, just ask me. Also no, there are no refunds. We have changing rooms for a reason."

"Thanks," Zero bowed a little, then took another quick look around, even crouching down and looking at the bottom shelves. Still, she saw no lingerie. "Hey, do you know where any lingerie is? Frye said you had it."

Frye chuckled a bit to herself, for some reason hiding behind a shelf of shirts and dresses. You see, when she had told Zero that Jelonzo had lingerie, that was actually a devious fib! Jelonzo didn't sell any sexy clothing, due to over 80% of his patrons being underage, and that meant that her plan was absolutely foolpro-

"Oh yeah, I got all that in the back," Jelonzo said, beckoning Zero to follow him, "What color you want? I got all kinds, if you want 'em."

Okay, time for plan B.

"Sorry!" Frye said, quickly grabbing Zero by the arm, "I forgot my wallet at home! We have to go, I'm so sorry!"

"Oh," Zero said, lowering her head, "That's... okay."

"Wait, really?" Frye paused for a second. Zero actually sounded genuinely heart-broken about that. Dammit, now she felt bad! "Wait, Zero, I kind of-"

"No, it is fine," Zero smiled. She then whipped her sweater off, taking her green undershirt with it. Frye's jaw dropped as she saw Zero hand the shirt to Jelonzo, giving Frye a small thumbs-up as she did so. "See, I can just sell my shirt! It is quality fiber, made by La Fleur!"

"I..." Frye was speechless.

"Yeah, I can work with this," Jelonzo nodded, then looked up at Zero, "By the way, ma'am, your, um..."

"Oh, my boobies. Just a sec..." Zero quickly put her sweater back on, then gave Frye another thumbs-up. Frye froze, her brain working overtime to compute what the actual fuck was going on.

"Now that you are decent..." Jelonzo beckoned for her to follow him, "Your lingerie awaits, ma'am."

"Oh boy!" Zero jumped, rushing after Jelonzo and into a small, pink backroom.

Frye just stood there, mouth agape as her faulty computer of a brain began sputtering up steam. She was going to have to explain a lot to Kay, that's for sure.

"Ooh!" she could hear Zero yell from the backroom, "It is so pretty! Like artwork on my body!"

"It matches your tentacles, no?" Jelonzo asked.

"Shell yeah!"

Eh, at least Zero was happy. That was good enough for her.

Chapter Text

"Hey, hey!" Harmony smiled, looking down from her suspended GBA and laying her face down on the register, "There's my plushie queen! What can I get for ya this time?"

Zero didn't answer, simply staring at Harmony as she stood in the doorframe. The Splatfest was happening soon, so thankfully nobody was barging in to tell her to get out of the way, but that would be the least of her problems anyways.

Her face was hot, a sensation she never really felt before. She had felt plenty warm when hugging others, like Shiver, Four, Cee... but nothing like this. She just wished that her face wasn't as grey as her tentacles as she meandered to the back of the store, the anemone clerk's eyes just following her in confusion as she did so.

Zero fell back against one of the small shelves.

"Come on," she whispered to herself, "You said nothing. She likes you. There is nothing to be said. Just say hi. Hi... yeah. I can do that."

She stood back up, turning towards Harmony and making her way to the main counter where the anemone sat. The steady beat of her two hearts became a drum roll as she felt Harmony's gaze on her, as well as that of her fish, which had been idly watching her this whole time.

"Hey Zeer," Harmony said, drool lazily dripping from the corner of her mouth, "You find anything back there?"

"Yes," Zero said, then paused. She was going to follow that by saying "my confidence," but thankfully realized that was corny as shell. Instead, she just decided to use her powers to slowly move a plush from a nearby stand across the ground and up into her hand.

"Ooh," Harmony said, glancing down at the plush in her hand, "That's a good one."

Zero looked down at the plush she had grabbed, hearts sinking as she realized what it was. It was, no shit, a clownfish plushie. This one was a nice, dull blue, and had the same glazed-over look that Harmony's did.

"Y-Yes," Zero nodded, "It is very cute, matches my sweater and my... undershirt."

"If you say so," Harmony chuckled, "Is something up? You've been acting real antsy lately. Kay givin' you troubles?"

"No," Zero shook her head. Why did everybody always assume it was Kay's fault? "I am just thinking... these plushies! Makes us look like twinsies, no?"

"Hm," Harmony looked up at her own clownfish. Probably the first time she had done so in weeks. "I guess it does. You trying to imitate me, Zeers?"

"Uh..." she stammered, "N-No?"

"Pfft," Harmony laughed, "Don't sweat it. I'm flattered, really. You ever heard that expression? 'Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery', or something like that?"

"I think I have heard it," Zero said, despite the fact that she damn well hadn't, "I guess I am doing imitations of you, then."

"Well," Harmony said, ringing up the plush, "That all you're getting for today, or is there something else you want to ask me?"

"N-No!" Zero said way too quickly, "I am not wanting to ask more! I understand... stuff!"

"I never said you didn't," the anemone furrowed her eyebrows, "You sure you're good? I promise, if you need to say anything, I'll listen. I'm a good listener."

Zero nodded silently, grabbing the plush and placing a small bag of coins on the counter. She looked back at Harmony, then froze. She just stood there for a few minutes, staring at the anemone with about as much subtlety as a nuclear bomb.

It was weird, but she couldn't help herself. Though Harmony has never been... conventionally pretty, there was just something about her Zero really liked. It was something about her vacant stare, or her simple, but very cute fashion sense. Maybe it was that chill, but also curious tone she had, or maybe how she always had that little bit of drool dripping out of her mouth...

"Zero!" Harmony said suddenly, startling the octoling. Harmony then chuckled a little, grabbing one of her tentacles and twirling it with her fingers. "You wanna hang out sometime?" 

"Uhh... Yes?"

"Cool. There's a party I'm gonna be at in a few days, maybe you could be my plus one-"

"YES VERY MUCH I WILL SEE YOU THANK YOU!" Zero bolted out of the store, hearts drumming against her chest as the widest smile started forming across her face.

It was only when she was halfway back to her apartment that she realized she never asked where the party was, but that was something for future Zero to worry about. Present Zero, on the other hand...

She had a party to prepare for, and she knew just what to wear for it...

Chapter Text

Zero wakes up. It is a normal day...

She glances around. She looks in the mirror. She is just as imperfect as always. She pinches herself a few times. She seethes a little from the pain, but it does little to stop the smile that grows on her face.

Today is the day.

She gets to hang out with the woman who's been giving her butterflies for almost months now, the woman who always seemed so keen to listen to anything she ever had to say. Other people would hear her strange ramblings, sure, but Harmony would truly LISTEN. Or at least, that's what she thought. It is hard to tell what was happening behind those technicolor eyes.

Zero opens her closet, in search of what clothes to wear for the day. In specific, her new lingerie. It was so pretty, so eye-catching, that Harmony would not help but notice how beautiful she was!

Strangely enough, the lingerie is nowhere to be seen. Her sweater is there, as well as her comfy pants, but no lingerie. She squints, trying to make out the fabric using only its color, but still winds up empty-handed.

She sighs, opening her door and stepping into the living room. Maybe Frye has taken it. She had been looking pretty jealous when Zero had shown her...

Zero stops, her ears instantly filling with a high-pitched ringing. She grabbed the sides of her head, grunting as she looked around for the speaker. It was an old human thing Shiver had found once, and had insisted on keeping it despite the rapturous feedback that frequently came from it.

She kept searching, but the speaker can't be found. She yells out for Big Man, but gets no response. She yells, a bit louder this time, but then realizes that no noise is actually coming from her mouth. The ringing is louder than even her voice, swamping her being and causing a sickness to form in her stomach.

She stumbles forward, punching her hand into a wall. She knows this is a dream, but can't just sit down and accept this. It had been too many nights, now. Horrible nightmares she had no option but to ride out, shriveling into a crying mess by the end of each and every one. She had no clue how to fight a dream, but she had fought a sleep-paralysis demon before!

Compared to that, how hard could this really be?

She began floating towards the ceiling, which instantly crumbled away and revealed a heavenly light which filled the room. The rest of her surroundings began to dissipate in the light, being assimilated into its overwhelming power.

She tried to crush the light, stretch it, flip it, or really anything else. It was untouchable. She sighed, floating to the now sun-bright floor, her eyes closed to prevent herself from going blind. There was something she could do... but what was it?

Before she could remember, she began to fall. She tries to float back upwards, but as with every time before, she can't. She braces for the fall, but instead of hitting some cold metal floor as per usual, she just face-plants onto a large patch of grass. Not exactly painless, mind you, but much better than what she'd fallen onto before.

She glanced around, quickly looking down at her hands to make sure they were actually hers. She let out a long sigh as she saw that they were, and then realized that she could finally speak again.

"Huh," she said quietly, slowly spinning around, "So... what is happening next?"

"I don't know, what does happen next?"

She spun around, a tall man approaching behind her. He sat beside her, laying on his back and pulling a large brown book out from a bag on his waist. He looked back over at her, his very human face uncanny to the octoling.

"Who are you?" Zero asked, sitting down beside him, "I have seen you, but I do not know you."

"That is not important," he said, turning his attention back to his book, "All that is important is that we are connected, in some strange way. That is why I am here."

"In my mind?" Zero asked, a large red question mark appearing above her head. She looked up, giggling a bit as she waved it away. "I am Zero, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," the man said, "It is nice to finally know your name."

"Can you tell me yours, then?"

"No," he sighed, placing his book beside him and sitting up. Looking at the tome, Zero could see a large group of human characters on it, ones that she didn't understand.

"What is your book?" Zero pointed at it, "I cannot understand your human words. I mean, I understand when you speak, but it feels weird anyways. I assume that is your actual language?"

"Yes," the man smiled a little, "It seems that your mind does not take the liberty to translate the Holy Bible for you. That is quite the shame."

"Bible?" Zero said it a few times, nodding when it began to sound right to her, "That is a nice name. What does it mean?"

"It means just that," the man explained, "The Bible is the Bible. Then again, if you interpret its name as the carrier of its knowledge, maybe it does mean quite a lot. Perspective is a strange thing."

"I guess," Zero shrugged, laying back and letting the grass graze her back. She sighed again, looking over at the man. "Well, I am going to probably wake up soon. See you tomorrow night, or something."

"Mh-hm," the man said, opening the Bible again and going back to reading it. Zero really expected him to say more, he looked like a man with a lot to say, but maybe he just wasn't in the mood.

"I'll be... going," Zero said, looking around for some kind of convenient exit, "Maybe I... No I still can't float. Maybe if I think... No that never works! Okay, umm..."

Then, a bolt of inspiration struck. It was something Pearl and Marina had talked about, something she could do with her crushing powers. If she made gravity so strong in a single place, she could make a big hole. With that hole, maybe she could get out of here!

She lowered her arm, testing if her ability to increase gravity was still there. To her surprise, it was, and she smiled widely as she cupped her hands and began pushing them towards each other.

It was much harder than she would've ever thought, beads of sweat running down her face as she continued pressing against a growing force trying to push her hands away. She gritted her teeth, stomping her legs into the ground so she couldn't be thrown off-balance.

"Rrrgh..." she grunted, pushing her hands ever closer, "Come on... Come on... HAH!"

She clapped her hands together, a black hole forming between her fingers. She was instantly sucked into it, her body being stretched and spun in the most nauseating way. She fell through a void of darkness, her vision warping and her body seeming to become flatter and flatter. It surprisingly didn't hurt much, but still made her feel sick as shell.

"Yo, Zero!"

A large light could be seen at the end of the void, a large silhouette peering over her. She regained control of her body, quickly flipping gravity so she could float upwards and into the light. She smiled as the light bathed her skin, her demons finally defeated...

---

"Zero!"

Zero jolted to, nearly head-butting Shiver in the face as she did so. Shiver moved back a little, a worried look on her face.

"Zero!" Shiver repeated breathlessly, "Oh thank cod you're good! I heard you whimpering, and then I saw you convulsing and oh cod it was like you were being possessed a-and-"

"I beat it," Zero said, smiling to herself.

"Excuse me?" Shiver asked, placing her hand on Zero's forehead, "Are you good-"

"HALLELUJAH!" Zero cried, jumping out of bed and opening the window behind her. She took a deep breath, overjoyed as she shouted out into the wakening city. "I beat it! I am the master of dreams! WAHOO!!"

Chapter Text

Zero rolled her feet back and forth, bouncing on her heels as she waited for the elevator to reach its destination. The party was being held by Spyke, as some sort of shopkeeper get together. She'd found the location by asking Scuba, since there was no way she was talking to Harmony again without nearly choking on butterflies.

But now she was in her element. She felt confident, powerful, and most importantly, sexy. She still didn't know what that word truly meant, but the spirit was definitely there.

*DING!*

The elevator doors opened, and Zero could already hear the sounds from Spyke's penthouse as she walked to the door. It confused her how a man with such poor clothing could live in such a lavish place, but then again Kay had a really nice apartment as well. Maybe he sold smokes as well, so she just hoped that his apartment smelled nothing like Kay's.

She knocked on the large white door, which was almost immediately answered. Jelonzo stood right in front of her, stretching his leg-tentacles so he could stand on her level.

"Oh hey Zero!" he said, retracting his legs and beckoning her inside, "I didn't know you were gonna be here! How're ya doing?"

"Good..." Zero said, completely lost in her surroundings.

Spyke's penthouse was even more lavish and gigantic than she could have ever thought was even possible. It seemed to have like seven different rooms, with a huge staircase leading up to some of the higher ones. Why a single man would need so much space, she had no clue, but she did have to admit that it was a great place to have a party.

"Yo Zeers!"

Zero turned, her hearts instantly leaping into her throat as she saw Harmony sitting by a large snack table. The anemone was gorgeous, wearing a technicolor dress with a golden Chirpy Chips pin laying above her breast. Zero, on the other hand, had dressed in a full pinstripe suit. She thought it was pretty, though it did make her a bit uncomfortable when she wore it above her lingerie.

"Hi... Harms?" Zero said awkwardly, which earned her a light chuckle from the anemone. She coughed a little, then gave Harmony a bow. "This is a very nice party! Thanks millions for inviting me!"

"No problem," Harmony lifted Zero's head, which made her legs tremble ever so slightly, "You look cute. That pinstripe yours, or did Kay lend it to ya?"

"It is mine," Zero blushed, showing it off a little bit as she sat beside Harmony, "I like this dull, but very cool blue. It is like my beanie, no?"

"Definitely," Harmony snapped her fingers, then took a small sip from a plastic cup. She looked up at Zero, then handed the red cup to her. "You want some? It's called a Pornstar Martini. Pretty good, but I haven codamn clue why 'Sexyman' over there is serving it out of a punchbowl."

"S-Sure!" Zero took a large gulp of the drink, her lips pursing and her eyes dilating a bit as she did so. She coughed, handing the drink back to Harmony as her vision became clear again. "I-I don't think I like that..."

"Heh," Harmony took another sip, "You gotta take small sips, silly. This is a martini, not some soda you can just guzzle down like nobody's business!"

"I thought it was pornstar?" Zero asked, then paused for a moment, "Wait, what is pornstar?"

"You don't wanna know," Harmony chuckled, her light and bubbly laugh doing all sorts of things to Zero's stomach. Whatever she had just drank didn't help much, either. "But a martini is an alcoholic drink. You ever had alcohol before?"

"Is that the bitterness?" Zero spat, still trying to clean her tongue by rubbing it against her beak.

"Yeah. It tastes better after you've had three of 'em. Actually, most things do."

Zero nodded, trying her best to look cool as she kept coughing. Harmony was still giggling, but at least it didn't seem to have any malice behind it. Zero never liked it when people laughed meanly. Kinda ruins the whole point, doesn't it?

"So..." Zero said, grabbing a can of soda pop and slowly drinking it, "What do we do?"

"Just chill and drink, I guess," Harmony shrugged, "There ain't much else to do. You don't wanna see me dance, and I don't think we should... uhh... Yeah, nah."

"Don't think we should what?" Zero asked.

"Nothing, nothing," Harmony said quietly, taking another sip of her drink.

"Okay," Zero rocked back and forth a bit as she finished her soda. She smiled a little, crushing the can between her hands and levitating it into a nearby trashcan. "Hey, do you know where Scuba is? He said he was gonna be here, but I do not see him."

"Upstairs with his husband," Harmony sighed, then quickly added, "But don't bother them. They're... playing a game. With only two players."

"There can be plenty more than just two players at THAT game..."

Harmony swiveled around to see Spyke standing behind her. He was wearing his usual poncho, completely out of place among the crowd. Shell, even Mr. Coco was wearing a suit!

"Oh, hey Spyke," Harmony said, then gestured over to Zero, "She's my plus one."

"I can tell," he leaned over to Zero, holding out a bony hand as his hot breath fell against her face, "Hiya, love."

"Uhh..." Zero shook his hand, which felt even bonier than it looked, "Hi. You are Spyke, yes?"

"Indeed, love," he bowed a little, to which Harmony just rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink, "So, you two talking about getting down, so to speak?"

"Shut up Spyke," Harmony groaned, flinging her cup past his face and into a trashcan behind him, "Zero ain't needing to know none of that, so please just leave us alone."

"What are we talking about?" Zero asked, "I am sorry, but I think I have gotten lost."

"What we're talking about," a mischievous smirk came across Spyke's face, "Is something we adults like to call-"

"That thing you did with New Agent Three," Harmony said dryly, smirking a little when Spyke whipped around to her, "Oh yeah, and she told me all about it. Didn't know you could cry that much, man. And only after two minutes-"

"Shut-" Spyke leaned in close to Harmony, digging a bony finger into her nose, "I will remember this, pothead."

"Please do," Harmony grabbed a can of soda, cracking it open and taking a large gulp. She smiled as Spyke trudged off, then quickly wiped off her lips as she turned to Zero. "So, you wanna blow this place?"

"No! I would never explode-" Zero exclaimed, then paused, "Unless that is an expression, then please explain."

"You wanna leave?" Harmony giggled, grabbing Zero's arm and leaning in a bit closer, "I know a good place to sit and just... sit together. Very nice, no?"

"Yes, very nice," Zero smiled, grabbing onto Harmony's arm as they walked out of the apartment, "That sounds like the nicest, actually."

"Cool," Harmony said, "I have some tunes, too, if you wanna listen to them."

"Ooh! I like tunes!"

"I know," Harmony chuckled, patting Zero on the back, "I do too."

Chapter Text

The place Harmony had picked was, dare it be said, perfect.

It was sunset by the time the two had gotten to the top of the sand dune, a gigantic hill right past the Splatville border. Behind them, they could still hear the rambunctious sounds of the Splatfest, bright lights and music illuminating the entire city.

Meanwhile, they looked out into the desert. It was surprisingly calm, the beautiful oranges and purples of the approaching night reflecting across the expanse of sand. It was the perfect temperature, that light transition between the harsh heat of the day and the frigid cold of the night. Zero shifted a bit, still holding onto Harmony's arm to get a little more warmth.

Harmony smiled, placing her head on Zero's shoulder. Zero looked down at her, and... Cod damn she wanted to kiss her so hard. If she could just lift the two of them into the air, arms wrapped around Harmony's warm body as they locked lips...

"You like it?" Harmony asked quietly, still staring into the sunset. Then, without even waiting for an answer, she added. "Yeah, I knew you would."

"It is pretty," Zero said, shifting a bit so the sand wouldn't get in her nice shoes.

"As pretty as me?" Harmony asked, playfully nuzzling against Zero's cheek. A small speck of drool dripped from her mouth and onto Zero's neck, the cold sting making her body almost flip inside out.

"Y-" she stuttered, blushing as she tried to gather her thoughts, "N-No."

"No?" Harmony smirked, "So you think I'm prettier?"

"Y-Yes!" Zero said, maybe a bit too loud as Harmony scooched a bit away from her. She chuckled a bit, trying to break the tension she swore was actually there. "Y-You are m-much prettier than the sun!"

Harmony didn't say anything, just smiling and nodding before she pressed herself against Zero again. She laid her arms in Zero's lap, her head falling against the octoling's shoulder yet again. Her legs even wanted in, her left leg laying itself over Zero's right.

"Y-You-" Zero stopped, just grabbing Harmony's hands in her own as she turned her attention back to the sunset. The colors were indeed pretty, but there seemed to be something missing from them. For being the sun, there was ironically no warmth in its appearance. Not as much warmth as Harmony, anyway.

She laid her head atop Harmony's. It was so quiet, but it was a lovely kind of quiet.

Fireworks could be heard from behind them, the City of Anarchy still in full-on party mode. Zero looked back, the wonderful colors of the city flooding into her eyes.

"Hey," Harmony said, stealing her attention. The anemone rummaged around in the small purse on her waist, pulling out a small iPod and a pair of cephalo-pods. "You wanna listen to somethin'?"

"Uh..." she stammered, "Yeah, sure!"

"Sick," Harmony carefully pressed one of the pods into Zero's ear, while putting the other in her own. She started inquisitively clicking on the iPod, trying to decide what to play. "Hey, Zeers. You got anything in particular you like?"

"Umm..." Zero said, trying to wrack it out of her mind,  "Maybe... I don't know. Is there anything you like?"

"Give me a sec," Harmony said, chuckling a bit, "Hey Zeers, you like silly music?"

"I guess," Zero nodded, "How silly is it?"

"Pretty silly," Harmony said, pointing at the iPod, "This is Triangle Spike! by Illuminati Narwhal, one of my favorites from their collection..."

She turned it on, an instant wave of noise flooding into Zero's ear. It was discordant, jumbled, and so codamn loud... but she liked it. It was definitely silly, but it felt so good to her.

"Is that harmonica?" she asked, the famous harmonica solo playing in her ear.

"Yep!" Harmony giggled, "You ever seen a manta ray play an electric harmonica? It's a beauty."

"You saw them live?"

"Nah, but I watch their music videos. They're even trippier than their music, it's freaking awesome."

"That is awesome..." Zero said, looking down at Harmony. The anemone looked even cuter listening to music, quietly bobbing her head and humming to herself. Zero's hearts were doing kickflips in her chest, and she knew she was gonna say something real stupid real soon...

"You know, this is nice," Harmony chuckled, "I never took you for this kinda girl, Zero. Seemed like you were always too busy being friends with the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook to just... sit down and chill with someone like me. That's sweet, y'know?"

"Can I kiss you?"

Harmony froze, shifting a bit away from Zero as a bright pink blush dusted her cheeks. Zero's eyes widened to a comical degree, nearly having a double heart attack as she heard what she had just said.

"I-I mean-" Zero panicked, "I am just thinking that you are cute and pretty and I don't know I really like you or maybe I love you cause maybe-"

"Wow..." Harmony scooched back towards Zero, smiling softly as she held onto the octoling's hand, "I never thought you'd be so forward..."

"I-Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know," Harmony shook her head, then stood up, "I don't know, Zero. I know I was kinda teasing, but... I don't know. Take this, for now."

"Take wha-"

Harmony leaned down, pressing a light kiss onto Zero's cheek. Zero nearly fainted, her face unbearably hot as she watched Harmony walk away. She tried to recollect herself, but then noticed that the anemone had left the iPod with her. She quickly grabbed the iPod, but then waited a bit, letting Harmony get a bit further away. She wouldn't be going anywhere, so maybe Zero could just return this in the morning. Just so she could gather her thoughts.

That sounds like a good idea.

Chapter Text

This was a... peculiar dream to say the least.

Unlike the rest, that usually started with Zero in her room, only to descend into madness by falling through forty holes, dark and light alike, this one started off atop that familiar grassy hill.

Zero found herself sitting at the head of a large table, both it and all of its chairs levitated about a foot in the air. Sitting beside her was the human with the holy book, a cup of tea now in his hands. Across from him, on her other side, was the man in the strange combat suit. The one who sounded like a robot.

"Hello again, Zero," the holy man said, sipping his tea, "Seems like you'll be here for a while, so why not enjoy yourself?"

"Is this..." Zero looked under her seat, "Is this you?"

"Nope," the man said plainly, "It seems your powers are working without your control. Quite strange, as this is your own mind."

"Yeah..." Zero then looked over at the man in the combat suit, "And you are?"

"I am Zer0 too," the man said, holding out his hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you. Are we in your mind?"

"Yes," Zero said, looking back down, "But I can't get a grip on it..."

"That is most troubling. Get that dealt with very soon; then we may be free."

"Don't listen to him," the holy man interjected, "Your mind is not a prison, but a form of freedom in its own right. You just need to see it."

"Maybe if you tell me your name," Zero shot back, crossing her arms and laying back in her seat, "I like you, but I know nothing about you. You seem to know everything about me."

"Ugh..." the man sighed, placing down his tea, "Zero, look. There is a very good reason I am wary to give you my name. It is a name that holds a lot of regret behind it, and-"

"Then why deny it?" Zer0 asked, "If you are such a monster, don't be so foolish."

"Yeah," Zero added, "You can't just deny who you are!"

"I-" the man chuckled, holding his hand to his head, "Oh, you two are a riot. But you are right. Seems there is more I can learn from you than I thought."

He leaned over to Zero, holding out his hand and smiling sweetly.

"My name is Enrico Pucci. Nice to officially meet you."

"Nice to be official!" Zero shook his hand eagerly, smiling widely as she did so.

She sat back in her seat, whistling idly as the two men went back to what seemed to be different kinds of meditation. Pucci was simply sipping his tea, but in a very calm and patterned way, while Zer0 was whispering something to himself. It seemed to have some kind of musicality to it, despite his tone never changing.

"So..." Zero broke the silence, "What do you two do? I have been trying to get work in places, but my buddies keep insisting that I never need to work. It's easy, but sometimes I get bored. Do you have boring jobs?"

"Oh, no," Pucci said, "For my job is to spread the word of the Lord. It is not only fulfilling, but also very eye-opening."

"Mine's interesting," Zer0 replied, "I work for a company, whose name is Atlas. I have good friends there, and the pay is never poor. It's never boring. Worse than Vault Hunting, but I work with what I get. That is the business."

"You speak weird," Zero pointed out, "But that's still cool! How about friends? I got lots of friends. There's Big Man, Frye, and Shiver, then the Squid Sisters Marie and Callie, and Pearl and Marina, who are my teachers. Melody's a good friend, but she's also pretty young. Oh, and then there's Kay! She's very nice, but kinda rude sometimes."

"I don't have many friends," Pucci sighed, taking another sip of his tea, "But I had one. Name was DIO, but he's long gone by now."

"Same story for me," Zer0 said, "One of my friends was murdered. Her name was Maya."

"Oh..." Zero sat back, her smile fading, "Well, I have a dead friend too. His name's Cee. I wonder how he's doing, up in the Promised Land."

"That must be your Heaven," Pucci observed, "Very interesting... guess it makes sense to call it that."

"Heaven, huh?"

A portal instantly opened across from Zero, a large white ball falling out of it and into the chair at the opposite end of the table. The ball then floated in the air for a second, before an eye revealed itself, as well as four pairs of bird-like wings. A yellow halo appeared above its head, as a small drop of red fell from its eye and onto the tablecloth.

"Oh, wow..." Zero said, mesmerized by the creepy, but oddly beautiful creature.

"I am 02" it said, in a voice which shook the very sky, "You must be Zero, the being of so much power I have heard of."

"Uhh..." Zero shook her head, straightening herself in her seat, "Yep, that's me!"

"You are..." Pucci was nearly speechless, "An angel..."

"An angel in your terms, but not in reality. I am something much stronger, born of the endless void." it seemed to redirect its attention to Zero, a strangely happy expression forming on what little of a face it had, "It is nice to finally meet a being of power equal to mine. Especially one who is so... inoffensive to the eyes, unlike me."

"You are not offensive!" Zero said, voice shaking only slightly, "You are very pretty! And kinda weird, but mostly pretty!"

"Thank you," it said, then opened its eye a little wider, "Hm... It seems there is something bothering you. What, pray tell, may that be?"

"Bothering-" Zero stopped. She sighed, letting her head sag for a second before bringing it back up. "There is this girl, and I really like her. I mean, I LIKE like her. And I think she LIKE likes me too, but she was saying I was 'too forward' and now I think I messed everything up and oh cod did I mess everything up?!"

"Of course not," Pucci said, "Though you say that this is another woman you are in love with?"

"Yes?"

"That is wonderful," Pucci said, "I am assuming that your people take that much better than mine."

"Do your people not like thespians?" Zero asked.

"Lesbians," Pucci laughed lightly, "But yes. It's a harsh reality, but it is sadly the one I live in. God's love is all about loving others, no matter your differences. Not any of that preachy 'we do no wrong, so they do all the wrong' bullshit."

"Religion plagues you as well?" 02 nodded a little, "There are many religions in my world. You would consider them cults, since none are technically actual religions, but they do exist. Mostly around my brethren and I, born of the void."

"I fought a cult once," Zer0 said, "Or I only tried fighting them. Fuckers killed Maya."

"Wow..." Zero said, then shook her head, "Yeah, I don't really know what any of that is."

"Good," Pucci took another sip of his tea, "I love my religion, and what it can do, but if your world is untainted by its negatives, then it should stay that way."

"Nah fam, maybe you should make a cult. It's pretty fun, trust me."

"Okay..." Zero said, sitting back in her chair.

"Anyways," Pucci cleared his throat, "If she says you are being too forward, then give her some space. Or, maybe you could apologize and then give her space. People love being apologized too."

"But don't seem pathetic while doing it," 02 advised, "There's nothing worse than a coward. Own up to your mistake and find out what you can do to make your relationship with her better."

"Okay," Zero nodded, "Thanks so much guys-"

Then, she could feel a small pang in her head. A small ache, which quickly grew bigger. She clutched her head, all noise turning into a high-pitched ringing as her surroundings yet again melting into nothingness. Instead of waking up, though, she found herself in a simple dark expanse.

"Hello?" Zero said, her words echoing around her, "Hi? Where did y'all-"

"They are fine."

Zero looked back, only to see a near mirror-image of herself. It was an octoling her exact size, but with black tentacles, a fuller smile, less pale skin, and a much larger bosom. She had recently just learned that word from Pearl.

"Hello, Zero," the warped version of herself said, "Nice to finally meet you."

"Who are you?" Zero asked, "How did you get here?"

"Well," she smiled, "I'm you, silly! Just more... alive."

"You-" Zero stepped back, "You're the old me. Before the meteor. Before-"

"You, yes," she said. She walked closer to Zero, then held out her arm and gave her a small salute. "Commander ANG-31 reporting for duty!"

"That was my old name..." Zero said, the memory finally unlocking in her mind, "In the military."

"Yep," the living her sighed, "Big Ol' Angel, the Guardian of the Domes."

"Really?" Zero's eyes widened, "I was- I mean we were-"

"One of the high-ranks," Angel nodded, smiling smugly, "Lucy too. That's who we were. Little Lucy and her Guardian Angel."

"Oh yeah, Lucy..." Zero said, trying not at all to hide her scorn, "How was she, before she was insane?"

"Wow," Angel chuckled, "Never took you for one to say that! Though you are me, so maybe it does fit. Lucy was... fine. Always a bit strange, but no more than you or I. She was just loyal. Way too damn loyal."

"Mh-hm," Zero nodded, the looked around the black expanse, "So... am I ever going to wake up or...?"

"You wanna leave now?" Angel sighed, "Well, I guess I can't stop ya. I mean, I can cause I got control in here and stuff, but that would be cruel. I'll make a door for you real quick, it'll get you outta here, but I need you to promise me one thing."

"What is that?"

"Shoot your shot with Harmony," Angel insisted, waving her hand and creating a door out of thin air, "We love her, I know as much as you do, and I know she loves us. You may never get a chance like this ever again, so take it! Don't rush it, though. That may just push her away."

"This relationship stuff is hard..." Zero lamented, "Why can't it just be like Shiver and Frye, where they just kiss all the time?"

"Cause they already worked to get there," Angel explained, "By the time you and Harmony are older, maybe even in only a few years, you'll be just like those two lovebirds."

"Awesome!" Zero said, running for the door, "Thank you, Angel! I won't forget you!"

"You literally can't!" Angel yelled after her, smiling as her present self passed through the door. She sat back on the ground, sighing a little as she looked around. "Of all the things I could become... and it's somehow all I ever coulda asked for..."

---

Zero shot up out of bed, a huge smile already on her face. She looked around, just to make absolutely sure her mind was playing no more tricks on her. After about fifteen pinches to her own arm, she decided it wasn't.

As she got dressed for the day, an idea crossed her mind. Something about Angel. She was Zero now, but she was Angel back when she died. She couldn't even think of changing her name, especially so abruptly, but she did want to do something for her old self. Something very nice and respectful, and exactly what she knew she deserved.

She was going to give herself a proper funeral.

Chapter Text

It was unbearably hot out in the Splatlandian wastes, as always. Zero was prepared this time, with plenty of water and a nice magic fan Spectrum had gotten for her, but it still didn't seem to be enough. She wiped her forehead, breathing heavily as she finally spotted the spot of grey in the distance.

Now, Zero never found out where she had originally died. Doing so would mean she'd have to talk to Lucy, and she really didn't want to do that right now. Shell, she wasn't even sure she could still talk to her. Despite that, however, she still had the perfect place to respect her past life.

It was a lone gravestone, sitting in the burning orange sand. She actually had no clue who put it there, but she was very thankful to them for it. It was a grave to an old friend, and she wouldn't want to be buried beside anybody else in the world.

She slid down a large sand dune, stopping at the bottom and slowly trudging over to the stone. It was surprisingly ornate, a single stone tentacle carved onto it, which was bent into a heart. It read:

Here Lies Cee

Born - ????

Died - ????

Loved by many, and loathed by none. Here his memory lies.

Zero leaned over to the stone, frowning a little as she squatted down to its level. It was beautiful, but in a very chilling and desolate way. She hugged the grave, a small tear falling down her face as she held onto the hot stone.

"You again? Guess it figures..."

Zero snapped back, recognizing that voice instantly. It wasn't until she saw the man's small, blue figure that her heart sank, her breath growing rapid as she backed away from the grave.

"Y-You!" she cried, pointing accusatorially at the small figure.

"Yes, me," C.Q. Cumber sighed, flopping closer to Cee's grave, "I swear, did you become a drama queen since we last met? I always thought that was Kay's thing."

"Don't say her name," Zero said scathingly, placing herself in-between the cucumber and the grave.

"Why not?" C.Q. crawled between her legs, stopping right before his face touched the grave. A long tentacle extended from his body, caressing the gravestone as he looked back at Zero. "She chose to work for me. She chose to stay."

"No she-"

"No," C.Q. held up another tendril, shaking his head, "We won't be doing this. We are here for the same reason, so why don't we just not bother each other? Let the other wallow in their grief, as we do the same."

"I..." Zero stopped, sitting down in the hot sand and looking down at C.Q. "Well, I'm not here just for Cee..."

"Then why, pray tell, are you here?"

"I am here to bury my old self," Zero explained, "Give her a proper funeral."

"Interesting," C.Q. said, "So you have gained back your pre-mortem memories?"

"Some of them..."

"And does anybody else know you are doing this? Does Kay know?"

"Why do you care?!" Zero snapped, her face growing grey as some of the sand began orbiting around her head, "This is my business, and not yours! Didn't you say not to bother anybody?!"

"I guess I did..." C.Q. sighed, flopping back and squirming a bit closer to Zero, "I am just surprised, that is all."

"What does that mean?"

"Whatever you want it to," C.Q. said, then turned away from her, "I will be going back, if you are staying here. And if you want to know, which I'm sure you don't, I have a woman down in the metro who wants to meet you. You can come down whenever you like, my men will not be hostile towards you."

"I will not be going back," Zero spat, standing back up and looking beside Cee's grave, "I don't care who asks. Get out of here."

"As you wish..." C.Q. slumped away, a small trail of blue slime following him as he trudged through the scorched sands. After getting a few hundred feet away, he turned back to look at Zero. He took a deep breath, but didn't say anything more before disappearing into the distance.

---

The funeral was nothing too eventful. Zero had already grabbed a large piece of metal, which she had then bent into the shape of an octopus. She placed it into the ground, right beside Cee's grave, and sat in front of the metal grave as she gave a few words.

"We are gathered here today to mourn the death of Angel," Zero said. It was hard to speak, but she was able to muscle through it. "She was a lovely octoling, who served her people with pride. To the very end, she wanted what was best for her people, and-"

Our sister.

"Her sister," Zero cleared her throat, then continued, "I don't know too much about her, other than that she is me, but I am sure that she led a good life, even though it was so abruptly ended."

She paused, but the silence didn't do anything to help the lump in her throat.

"She may be dead now, but she will always live on in our hearts. And my mind," she chuckled dryly, then looked back at the piece of metal. It felt... wrong for some reason, but her mind was still screaming at her to go through with this.

Another wave of silence. In reality, she didn't know what to say.

"Thank you," she said after a long pause, her throat parched. She took a long gulp of water from a bottle on her waist, then turned back to the makeshift grave. It looked sloppy, but also very nice in its simplicity. It was nowhere near as good as Cee's, but she didn't want it to be.

Her phone buzzed, a bright text coming up on her screen. It had been sent a while ago, only coming through now due to the poor connection outside of the city.

---

Chirpy: Yo Zeers, you still got my iPod? I kinda need it back.

Zer0: Oh yeah, sry Harmony 😅

Chirpy: No probs, just drop on by and drop it off. We can talk too, if you like.

Zer0: Oh, yeah. Of course! I'd love to talk!

Chirpy: Sick. See you soon.

---

Zero put her phone back into her pocket, sighing as she looked back at the two graves in front of her. They were very pretty, their dark grey contrasting against the harsh orange of the sand. She wondered if her tentacles had that same contrast...

She shook her head, smiling as she stood back up. She turned away from the graves, making her way back to the city with a bit of a spring in her step. It was odd, to be this happy after a funeral, but maybe its because it really wasn't one. Angel was still alive, just with a new name.

Maybe that just made this whole endeavor useless, but Zero was happy with herself nonetheless. At least, that's what she thought.

Chapter Text

Zero felt great as she walked into Hotlantis, quickly reveling in the cool air and natural air freshener that always permeated the convenience store. She had Harmony's iPod and cephalo-pods in her pocket, and she kept fiddling with it as she walked up to the front counter.

Harmony looked even prettier than usual, her usual tee switched out for a sweater. Well, the tee was probably still under the sweater, but that couldn't stop Zero from dreaming. She was looking up at her Gameboy Advance, suspended from her Ultra Hand as per usual, and seemed to be playing some game about a fat yellow guy on it at the moment. Her clownfish noticed Zero, quickly swimming back into her tentacles and ruffling them a bit, but she didn't even look down.

"H-Hey Harmony-" Zero paused. She sounded way more reserved than she wanted to, so she took a few seconds to just to clear her throat. "I got your stuff right here. What did you-"

"Just a sec," Harmony said, still looking up at her game.

"I... okay," Zero said, placing the iPod and cephalo-pods onto the counter. She then walked around, squatting down next to Harmony and looking up at her game. "What'cha playin'?"

"Wario Land 4," Harmony shushed her, "I need to concentrate."

The screen lit up, a timer appearing on the bottom as the GBA screamed "H-H-HURRY UP!!!" in its full, bit-crushed glory. Harmony's fingers moved like lightning as she moved back through the level, and though Zero had never even seen this game before, she was still really impressed with how quick Harmony was.

The screen darkened, the level over. Harmony placed her GBA down, letting out a sigh of relief as she fell back onto the ground. She looked over at Zero, smiling a little and tapping the ground beside her, beckoning the octoling to join her. Zero smiled back, laying down next to her.

"Hi," Zero said, her excitement barely contained, "So I got your stuff and I put it on the counter. What did you wanna talk about? Is this about-"

"Okay girl, chill," Harmony giggled, lightly punching Zero on the chest, "Just slow down, and let me do the talking for a bit, m'kay?"

"Yep!" Zero nodded.

"Good," Harmony took in a deep breath, her vacant eyes trained on Zero, "So, I've been giving it some thought. Y'know, all of that at the party. I was teasing you at first, and I want you to know I do that to plenty of people. But I also have to admit it; you're cute. And I like you a lot. I don't know if kissing you like that was a good idea-"

"It was a VERY good idea!" Zero said quickly, then blushed, "I-I mean... you can keep going."

"Okay," Harmony giggled, yet again sending Zero's hearts into her throat, "What I'm saying is, I like you a lot. And since you obviously like me a lot, I was thinking that maybe we could hang out sometime."

"Like this?" Zero asked.

"Maybe a bit more intimate than the cold floor of a convenience store," Harmony smirked, "But if that's what you want, I ain't gonna stop you. Speaking of, I gotta get back to work. Can't believe-"

"Yo! Where the fuck-" an octoling peered over the counter, eyes widening when he saw the two laying there, side-by-side, "Oh, hello. I have this plush here, one of the octoling ones-"

"That is a very good plush," Zero said, "Very comfy, and very good if you ever have nightmares."

"Uhh..." the octoling wasn't quite sure what to say, "Thanks, I guess. Can I buy this, or-"

"Yeah," Harmony stood up, pulling Zero up with her, "Sorry 'bout that. That'll be 9000."

"Here ya go," he placed a bag of coins on the table, then glared at Zero as he walked off and out of the store.

"What was that about?" Zero asked Harmony.

"Nothing," Harmony replied, then ruffled Zero's tentacles a bit, "Get outta here, cutie. I got work to do."

"But what-"

"I'll text you," Harmony said cooly, "How's the weekend sound? I actually got some time off Sunday, so maybe we could have our first date then."

"Y-Yeah," Zero nodded, waving as she stepped out of the store, "See you then!"

After getting out of the store, Zero immediately fell back against the wall, her hearts beating a mile a minute. Despite that, the biggest smile of all time was stretching across her face, the words repeating themselves in her head.

First date. OUR first date.

Chapter Text

Zero needed three things for her date. Three simple things, and she knew exactly where to find them.

First was the lingerie, which she already had.

Second, was the rest of the glam.

Though the aforementioned lingerie and her pinstripe suit were good enough for a date, Zero really wanted a nice dress for Harmony. She didn't have any amazing dresses, but she knew exactly just who did. She was told not to bother them right now, but she was sure they'd be ecstatic to help her. Glitz and glam were their things, after all.

Zero knocked on the penthouse door, fidgeting a bit as she waited for it to open. She could hear two voices from inside, the shuffling of feet, and a bit of shouting before the door swung open, a very overwhelmed orange inkling standing in the doorway.

"Who- Oh," Four said, shuffling a bit to keep the doorway as covered as possible, "Hiya Zero-"

"Hi!" Zero said eagerly, "I was wondering if Callie was in! She is very good at dressing and I want a dress for my date!"

"Zero, I-" Four paused, "Wait a sec, a date?"

"Yeah! She's very cute and pretty, and I need a dress!"

"Well, that's nice," Four chuckled nervously, "Do you have anything else you'd like to say about... your date?"

"Uhh..." Zero thought for a moment, then shook her head, "Nope! Can I please just talk to Callie? Please?"

"I don't-"

"Wha's kraken Zero!?" Callie popped into the doorframe, nearly knocking Four to the ground. She looked a little queasy, but was still as energetic as ever. "You need somethin'? Sorry for taking so long by the way, I was just puking my guts out!"

"Honey..." Four sighed, "You can't just joke-"

"Hey, that may have been YOUR seed," Callie snapped back, "But this baby is making MY stomach twist itself into a pretty little bow. I get to say whatever the shell I want about the little bugger!"

"Umm..." Zero interrupted, "Should I leave, or-"

"Oh, of course not!" Callie pulled Four out of the doorway and beckoned Zero inside, "Come in, come in. I got nothing good to do right now, so whaddaya need?"

"I need two things..." Zero explained, "I have a date, see, and I want a really pretty dress for her. I was thinking, with all of your clothes and stuff, that you would have a spare for me to borrow."

"Girl," Callie chuckled, placing her arm on Zero's shoulder. Even just Callie's arm seemed heavier than usual, probably something to do with that bump in her belly. Zero didn't exactly know what that was about, but she also didn't want to be rude so she left it be. "I don't just have a spare dress. I have a codamn TREASURE TROVE of dresses that I never even wear! Shell, if you find one you like, you can keep it!"

"Really?" Zero asked, sparkles in her eyes.

"Shell yeah girl," Callie brought Zero into her room, Four following awkwardly behind them. She opened up the closet, revealing a huge array of dresses, all neatly placed on coat hangers. "Here ya go. The Dress Express."

"Thank you very millions!" Zero exclaimed, instantly jumping into the closet and digging through the dresses. It took her a few minutes, but she eventually came out with a dress that she particularly liked.

It was a long dress, but short enough to keep her ankles bare. It was a beautiful but also slightly muted blue, which was right on the line of eye-catching and eye-blinding. It also had a really cute squid pattern on it, as well as surprisingly comfortable ruffles around the wrists. Without even thinking, she whipped off her sweater and shirt and put the dress on.

"How do I look?" Zero asked, turning to Callie and Four.

"Gorgeous!" Callie exclaimed, giggling a little as she hugged Zero. Zero grunted a bit, not only from Callie's strength, but also cause she swore the inkling's belly had punched her somehow...

"You look sick," Four gave her a thumbs-up, nodding slightly, "Looks great on you."

"Thank you again!" Zero bowed, then quickly grabbed her sweater and shirt off of the ground, "Though, I must be asking you of one more question, if that is fine."

That was the third thing.

"Yeah, that's cool," Four said.

"No, not you," Zero turned to Callie, "You. I need to know something important."

"Well, what is it?" Callie asked, "I'd be glad to help."

"Well, you see..." Zero explained, "I had this dream a while back. A very bad nightmare. Very bad. But during it, I saw you. Usually I see memories in my dreams, and that one seemed like one too! You were in octarian gear, big shades on your face, and you picked me up after a party!"

"Really now..." Callie scratched her chin, "I don't think I recognize that though. Did you look different back then?"

"Yes. I had a different name also. I was called Angel, would you know of that?"

"Angel... Angel..." Callie's eyes widened a bit, but she just shook her head and smiled apologetically  at Zero, "I recognize it, but not very much. My memory is foggy from then, so I don't really know much."

"Oh, okay," Zero nodded, "That is fine. I just wanted an outside opinion."

"Outside opinion?" Four asked.

"That is not important now," Zero bowed again, "Thank you for your help, and I am making my leave. See ya!"

"See ya Zeers!" Callie waved to her as she left, the octoling slamming the door behind her, "Stay Fresh!"

"I swear..." Four chuckled, wrapping her arm around Callie's shoulder, "That kid gets weirder each and every time I see her..."

"Hey," Callie said, "You heard her, woman's got a date now. She ain't a kid anymore."

"Oh, so if that makes her a woman..." Four smirked, "What does that make me?"

"The womanliest woman~" Callie giggled, falling back against Four's chest.

"Well, actually I can't be by definition cause-"

"Look, just take the compliment and kiss me."

"Yes ma'am!"

Chapter Text

First date.  Our first date. Me and Harmony's first date. Harmony and I's first date...

Zero kept repeating the phrase in her head, changing it up slightly each time. No matter how it was said, however, it still felt just as perfect to her. She just wanted to find the right thing to say when she told Kay about it. She had pondered telling Kay after the date, but what was the fun in that?

She scrolled through her shell-phone and opened her Messenger app. She looked through her contacts, clicked on Kay, and then scrolled through her many chats to find out which one she was in. Turned out the octoling was in some chat called "Sauce or Loss".

What is that? Zero thought for a second, Oh, maybe they talk about mustard and stuff like that! That sounds fun!!

She clicked on the chat, a huge smile on her face as she prepared to tell Kay the news.

---

<Zer0 entered the chat>

Underrated 4gent: Eight I swear to CHRIST we let you back on for five seconds and you're already acting like this?!

Octo: Yeah and you can't stop me >:3

Snoop Dogg: WAIT EIGHT!

Octo: Huh?

Snoop Dogg: Zero, what the shell are you doing here?!

Zer0: That's rude! =[

Mar-Mar: OH SHIT

Zer0: I just wanted to tell you guys something!

Agent 3: Zero I swear whatever you saw Eight post about me, it's not true!

Underrated 4gent: Liar.

Octo: Don't call her that!

Cadillac: And don't be rude to my wife!

Zer0: So should I leave, or...

Mar-Mar: Yes

Cadillac: Nah fam, it's cool. Marie's just being rude. What is it, Angel?

Zer0: Oh no, I am going by Zero still. Thank you for being polite, though.

Cadillac: No probs

Octo: WAIT HER NAME IS ANGEL!!??

Zer0: Yeah? That was my name before I died.

Snoop Dogg: Wait really- Oh shit. You're ANGEL??? Like Angel, Guardian of the Domes!?

Agent 3: That sounds like a Dark Souls Boss

Zer0: Oh yeah, umm...

<Notorious He/She entered the chat>

Notorious He/She: Okay look b****s, stop making the cinnamon roll uncomfortable, and let her spit her shit!

Cadillac: Didn't I ban you for-

Notorious He/She: SILENCE, LIBERAL

Mar-Mar: One image in... I hate you guys

Zer0: Image?

Agent 3: NONONONONONONONO!!!

Underrated 4gent: Just say what you have to say Zero

Zer0: Harmony and I are going on our first date today!

Notorious He/She: See, now that wasn't-

<Notorious He/She was banned>

Mar-Mar: Sorry, I just had to. That mantis shrimp really gets on my nerves.

Kay: Harmony, huh? That sounds nice. Have fun!

Cadillac: Make sure she's real wife material!

Underrated 4gent: Callie...

Agent 3: Make sure that when she binds you up and electrifies you that you consent to it

Zer0: ???

Octo: You didn't need to say that, honey

Agent 3: I WILL BE A CAUTIONARY TALE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!

Zer0: Yeah I think I am making my leave. Bye girls!

Cadillac: Bye!

<Zer0 left the chat>

---

Well, that was weird.

Zero shrugged, putting her shell-phone in her small fanny pack and stretching as she got off of the couch. Deep Cut was out for the day, which did sadly mean she couldn't tell them about the date, but also meant that they wouldn't bother her at all, which was ace.

It was hot when she stepped out onto the streets, though she really shouldn't have expected anything different. The restaurant they had planned to meet up at wasn't too far from her place, only a few blocks away. That didn't mean she didn't have time to revel in her dress, though.

It was so pretty, with its chill blue and its remarkable squid patterns. It seemed to glow in the sunlight, and she could even see a few other octolings and inklings staring at her for a second as she walked by. It made her feel so... sexy, and it was the best thing ever. She was beaming as she walked towards the restaurant, turning into a dank and dusty alley before coming to it.

She had been there only once before, a nice little hole-in-the-wall called Fantasian Seas. Though it wasn't situated in the most sanitary of places, it not only had good food, but it was also one of the only places in the city you could find salmonids. Kay had introduced her to the place a while back, though what she wanted to know is how Harmony found out about it...

The second she stepped into the restaurant, she could see Harmony sitting at a booth in the back. With tentacles as iridescent and pretty as hers, it was actually almost impossible NOT to notice her. She walked over to the booth, smiling at Harmony as she sat down.

"Hiya cutie," Harmony smiled, a bit of drool seeping from her lower lip and dripping onto the table, "How do you like the place? It's really pretty, right?"

Okay Zero, this is it. The first thing you're gonna say on your first date. Just don't be stupid-

"N-Not as pretty as you," Zero said, then instantly covered her face with her menu.

Harmony paused for a moment, before slowly falling into a small giggling fit. Zero lowered the menu from her face, chuckling a bit too as to not feel left out. Was Harmony already laughing at her? Oh cod she had been really stupid hadn't she-

"You know," Harmony said, "You're so sweet. I bet everybody's told you it a billion times by now, but you really are. I think you're really pretty too."

"Thanks," Zero blushed.

"No probs," Harmony said, peering over her menu, "So, you decided what to eat yet? I was thinking of getting the Jumbo Fish and Chips and sharing, if that's not an issue with you."

"Sh-Sharing-" Zero mentally slapped herself in the face, "Y-Yes that sounds amazing!"

"Perfect," Harmony laid down her menu, "How about drinks? I was thinking of an IRN BRU. It's this cool soda you can't find anywhere else, it's really neat."

"I will have one too, then," Zero said, quickly tapping her cheek just to make sure it was a hot as she thought it was, "Maybe if we are getting the same drink, then we could share?"

"Yeah..." Harmony smiled sweetly, grabbing one of Zero's hands and holding it in hers. Zero swore she could hear Harmony's heart beating from there, but maybe it was just her own drumming against her chest. "That sounds sweet. I'd love to share a soda with you."

"M-Me too..." Zero looked up, almost leaping back when she saw and octoling standing over them, "AH!"

"Did I spook you?" the sickly green octoling sighed, her tone robotic, "I am Eve, and I shall be your waiter for this evening."

"Nice to meet'cha," Harmony handed Eve both of the menus, "We'll just take a Jumbo Fish and Chips to share, and an IRN BRU in an extra large cup, also to share."

"I can arrange that," Eve nodded, then looked back at Zero, "You are a very lucky woman."

Zero just nodded as the waiter walked away, turning to Harmony the instant they were out of earshot.

"What was that about?" Zero asked, "Does she know you?"

"Uh, yeah," Harmony chuckled, "I was part of the Chirpy Chips, Zeers. Big and famous band, remember?"

"You were part of a band!?" Zero asked, stars in her eyes, "Oh, is that why you have such good taste in music!?"

"Nah, that's just an inherent thing," Harmony giggled, "Really, you had no clue I was part of a band?"

"No!" Zero said, "I just thought you were a cute cashier!"

"Well, I just thought you were a cute octoling..." Harmony said softly, "Until I found out about your powers."

"Wh-What?!" Zero asked, "How?!"

"The other day, when you were grabbing that clownfish plush," she explained, "You weren't exactly being subtle about it. I then asked Kay about it, and she told me all about your powers and stuff. Really cool, I must say."

"Thanks," Zero said only slightly sarcastically, slumping back against the booth.

"Oh, don't be like that," Harmony grabbed one of her hands again, their heartbeats reconnected, "I mean, what's the problem with that, anyways? You think I'd dump you because you have MAGIC POWERS?"

"N-No..." Zero said in a small voice, "It is just that I do not like using them too much. Whenever I use them a lot, nice people are hurt..."

"Then I won't ask you to use them, simple as that," Harmony said, then added, "As long as you don't ask me to write any songs for you."

"Deal," Zero giggled, shaking Harmony's hand.

"Ahem!"

The two of them jolted back, the waitress appearing out of nowhere yet again. This time, however, she had both a giant plate of fish and what was practically a bucket of orange-colored soda with her. She placed them both on the table, nodding to the two of them before walking back off.

"Well..." Harmony looked at the feast in front of them, "Whoever eats more gets carried home!"

"You're on!" Zero laughed, immediately stuffing some of the fish in her mouth. In reality, however, she wouldn't end up eating much fish that night. Anything she could do to make sure she was the one carrying Harmony home when it was all over.

Chapter Text

It had been a long night, and both Zero and Harmony were pooped. Despite that, as she had promised herself, Zero ended up being the one to carry Harmony home. Usually she wouldn't be able to carry the anemone with just her arms, but by using a bit of gravity dilation on her she could make her girlfriend as light as a feather.

Her girlfriend.

"I feel so light..." Harmony whispered, yawning before wrapping her arm around Zero's neck, "This shit is so cool, I swear."

"It is no problem!" Zero said, her cheeks dusted grey, "I am simply glad to carry you home!"

"Oh, I knew you'd like that, you little cutie~" Harmony teased, booping Zero on the nose, "Who wouldn't want to carry ME home? I'm the prettiest anemone in the world!"

"Yeah..." Zero chuckled, "Are you sure you have not drank any of those bitters? You are acting very... what is the word?"

"Aloof," Harmony laughed, then got real close to Zero's ear. Her breath was so nice on the Zero's neck, sending shivers down the octoling's spine. "I'm just really glad to be hanging with you, is all. Sorry if you find it too much..."

"Of course not!" Zero exclaimed, smiling as she looked back down at the anemone, "I am very happy to be with you as well!"

"Well..." Harmony got real quiet, whispering to herself, "That's very nice..."

Zero smiled warmly, then let go of Harmony. The anemone floated in the air for a second as Zero stretched her arms, then she grabbed back onto her girlfriend and continued carrying her to her house. Harmony had the most childish grin on her face, like Zero always had when she got a new plushie. It was so cute, but so pretty at the same time.

They continued into the night, Zero carrying Harmony down the neon roads and past the moonlit buildings. After a while, she had begun to hum to herself. It was an old song she had heard a while ago, an old one she had heard on a human record. She forgot the name, but it was something about a man who knew how to play his cards, just right.

Harmony looked up at her, trying to piece together the tune in her head. Once she had, she started to beatbox a little, providing some percussion to accompany Zero's humming tune. Zero looked down at her, and they both began giggling madly.

It was just about then that they had arrived at Hotlantis, which was apparently also Harmony's home. It wasn't the most comfortable, but at least it was efficient.

"Thanks, Zeers," Harmony said, jumping out of Zero's arms and stretching a bit.

"No probs," Zero said cooly, smiling a little, "I very much enjoyed tonight!"

"Me too," Harmony pecked Zero on the cheek, the turned towards Hotlantis just as the octoling's face began to flush with grey.

---

Zero had been walking for a bit on her way home. She knew it was stupid to be out this late at night, but she really did love Splatsville at night. The neon lights, the beautiful moonlight, the lack of the usual noise...

It was perfect for some quiet thinking.

Thinking about stuff like how much she loved Harmony, and how stupid she felt for not returning any of those kisses. Harmony obviously loved her too, but she just seemed to be getting enough of cold feet to still bungle it up.

But that was why she was sitting there, leaning against the cold wall of her apartment complex. Maybe if she had enough alone time, she could work on her cold feet-

"Yo, you there!"

Zero turned towards the voice immediately her hearts already racing. She squinted into the darkness, until she could finally make out the figure who had called to them.

It was an octoling girl, seemingly much younger than her, with long, curled tentacles. Zero could just barely make out the vivid orange of her tentacles as she approached, a large notepad in her hands.

"I am sorry," Zero said, "But I am not knowing who you are?"

"Oh," the octoling blushed, her cheeks glowing a dim orange, "O-Of course. I'm Nectarine, nice to meet you."

"Nectarine?" Zero cocked her head, "That is a fruit, no?"

"Y-Yes..." Nectarine said, blushing even harder, "I-If you don't-"

"It is a pretty name!" Zero said, patting her on the back, "There is no need for worries. What is it you need of me?"

"W-Well..." Nectarine fidgeted a bit, then took a deep breath, "So, I live in the same apartment complex as Eight. I'm sure you know her from the Inflation Incident and stuff like that-"

"No I don't," Zero said plainly, "But what is an Inflation Incident? Some kind of balloon mishap?"

"N-No, no..." Nectarine sighed, "Anyways, I was talking to her a bit earlier, and well... she told me you used to be Angel!"

"Oh," Zero said. She never really expected somebody to recognize her as that, especially someone this young. "Well that was my name, but not anymore. I go by Zero, if that is fine with you."

"T-Totally fine!" Nectarine stuttered, shoving her notepad in Zero's face, "I-I just wanted to g-get your autograph, if you could be so kind!"

"Autograph?" Zero asked.

"Your name," Nectarine explained, "But you write it in a way that is unique to you!"

"Oh, okay..."

It took Zero a second, but she was eventually able to make a pretty good signature for herself. It was her name, but the O was replaced by a moon, and the Z was rounded out to look like two combined crescent moons. She smiled as she handed the notepad back to Nectarine, then went to finally go to bed. Maybe she wouldn't find that much quiet out here after all...

"Hey Zero!" Nectarine shouted after her.

"Yes?" Zero asked.

"I have plenty of friends who'd love your autograph too! You're like, a hero to us! Would it be fine if I introduced you to them?"

"S-Sure..." Zero gave her and awkward thumbs-up.

Scratch that, maybe she couldn't find that much quiet ANYWHERE after all...

Chapter Text

It was 6 AM when Zero got the text message. She groaned as her phone buzzed on the table, stretching out her limbs and trying her best to keep her eyes open. Whoever this was, it better be important-

---

Nectar: Hiya Zero!

Zer0: How did you get my number?

Nectar: No matter! My friends agreed to join up for breakfast today in the Turf Building at 7! Are you gonna be there?

Zer0: It's kinda early for that, I think

Nectar: oh come on, pleeeeease? 🥺 We're you're biggest fans!

Zer0: I guess. I'll be over.

Nectar: Thanks a ton! Don't worry about money, btw, we're providing! 👍

---

Zero blinked a few times, just to clear out her eyes. She then pinched her neck a few times, then went so far as to bite the inside of her lip. She seethed, the sharp pain in her mouth confirming that this was in fact not a dream.

She shrugged, stepping out of bed only to realize that she had slept in her lingerie. It was surprisingly comfortable, but she still hadn't been able to show it to Harmony yet. Sighing, she took it off and hung it in her closet, switching it out for her usual sweater and beanie.

She came out of her room, her nose instantly hit with the rich smell of ice cream. She looked over to the couch, where it appeared that Big Man had been sleeping. There was a big carton of ice cream beside him, the only of the sweet treat actually in there the few drips that fell onto the carpet.

"Looks like you had a fun night..." Zero whispered, carefully picking up the carton and placing it on the couch side table. As she lifted it, though, she noticed a small tentacle right beneath Big Man's face. She would've lifted him to see who it was, but the white and green of the tentacles already spoiled it to her.

Now, what Marie was doing using Big Man as a blanket was beyond Zero, but she really had no right to ask. She'd done plenty weirder before, and she did have some breakfast to go catch.

---

The sun was just coming out as Zero strode through the streets of Splatsville, mind swirling with a million thoughts. Getting invited to a surprise breakfast surely was, well, surprising, especially when it was from someone she barely knew. Not to get her wrong, she thought Nectarine was a wonderful octoling, but it was very... abrupt. And kinda creepy, but only slightly.

The Turf building seemed to be asleep as she stepped in, the only noises coming from the lounge area. Nectarine and her friends, Zero could presume. As she came into the lounge, she couldn't have been more correct in her life.

The second she stepped in, all twelve of their eyes were on her. It was six people, all octolings, and all very excited that she had actually showed up. Nectarine could be seen sitting in the middle, with what appeared to be her boyfriend right next to her, his arm slung across her shoulder. Zero waved awkwardly at them as she sat down, right beside an older, but still pretty young, cyan-tentacled octoling.

"Wow..." she said, her eyes sparkling, "Is this- Are you actually THE Angel!?"

"Z-Zero," Zero coughed, "But yes. Nice to meet you."

"Oh of course!" the octoling said frantically, while also shifting her beret a bit, "Sorry for misnaming you, Zero! I'm Lillian, nice to meet you! My friends call me Lilly!"

"Nice to meet you," Zero smiled nervously, "Again."

"Zero, girl," Nectarine chuckled, "Don't worry about any of this. She's just a big fan, and so are we! I'm Nectarine, nice to meet you again."

"Yes," Zero nodded, "I remember."

"I'm Ken," Nectarine's boyfriend said, waving his yellow tentacles a little, "These two shorts beside me are are Mill and Yon."

Two other octolings, both with green tentacles, waved at Zero. They seemed to be identical twins, though one was a boy and the other was a girl. Mill seemed to be the boy, and Yon was the girl.

"Hi..." Zero was already getting overwhelmed. It's hard getting introduced to so many new people at once. Speaking of, she looked over at the last octoling, who didn't seem to be saying much. She wasn't even looking at Zero, making her hardest attempt to not make eye contact. Zero looked back at Ken and Nectarine, pointing at the red-tentacled octoling.

"Oh yeah," Ken chuckled, "That's Nami. He's just a little shy, is all."

Oh, so the red octoling with the leggings and all of the makeup is a boy. Oh.

"Hi Nami," Zero said, instantly making the boy jolt up, "I'm Zero, nice to meet you."

"N-Nice to meet ya too..." Nami said, lowering himself to seem as small as possible.

"Don't let it bother ya," Mill pitched in, "He acts like that with everybody. He's real sweet once ya get to know him."

"Yeah," Nectarine said, then turned to Zero, "But let's talk a bit about you. What is it like, coming back from the dead?"

"I... uh..." Zero shrugged, scratching her head, "I mean... I don't remember a lot from then. It's kinda all cloudy, and-"

"What about your powers!?" Lilly interrupted, "Can you show us them, pleeeeease???"

"Uh..." Zero looked over at Nectarine, but she seemed to want to see them even more than Lilly. Zero sighed, shaking her head a little. "Sorry, I cannot. I do not feel like it right now."

"Well," Lilly huffed, "That isn't very fair-"

"Lilly," Ken commanded, "Don't be a bother. She doesn't want to use her powers, so she doesn't have to. M'kay?"

"Okay..." Lilly said, falling back against the couch and letting out a small raspberry.

"What about-" Yon said through a mouthful of tempura, "What about the slaying of Horrorboros? Do you remember that?"

"What?" Zero's eyes widened a bit, "No, I did not know of that!"

"Really?" Mill asked, "I heard that way back when, Angel was able to protect the domes from the monstrous Horrorboros by driving a huge pike right through its head!"

He raised a fork, stabbing hard into his twin's tempura as a physical demonstration. Zero could just see the image in her head, almost going sick from it. A huge spike, through a giant salmonid's head... All of that green ink, flying everywhere...

"Hey, Zero," Ken said, a bit of worry in his eyes, "You okay, buddy? You look a little green."

"I'm fine," Zero took a deep breath, "Just shocked about my past life, is all. I had no clue..."

"Yeah, it's crazy," Yon smiled, tempura flakes stuck in her beak, "You were so cool, and now you got those powers, and it's like, wow... you know?"

"I- Yes?"

"She gets it," Ken laughed, Nectarine giggling a little with him. Zero could feel a tiny twinge of something as she saw them sitting there, being so happy together. She barely knew them, but if she didn't know better, she'd say she was jealous of them.

"You're so cool..." Yon continued, "I swear, how do you do it? Being so chill while also being so cool, I mean?"

"Well..." Zero stuttered, "Maybe it is because chill and cool mean the same thing?"

The entire lounge erupted into laughter, the only two not laughing being Zero and Nami, the latter of which was currently listening to music on his cephalo pods. Though he did still seem to chuckle a bit at Zero's remark.

"I swear..." Nectarine wiped a tear from her eye, "Is there anything you aren't? Awesome, funny, chill-"

"Cute."

Everybody immediately looked over at Nami, who then instantly shrunk down a bit. His face was a bright red, his tentacles wriggling a bit as sweat rolled down his forehead.

"Nami..." Lilly said, more disappointed than mad, "She's already taken buddy."

"Doesn't mean she ain't cute..." Nami was making dead eye contact with Zero, who didn't really know what to say. It was one thing for Harmony to find her cute, but an absolute stranger? That was... new.

"Th-Thank you," Zero said, standing up and looking around quickly, "That is very nice of you-"

"Hold up, are you leaving?" Mill asked, "Or you just stretching?"

"I..." Zero looked down at her watch. Not even an hour had passed, but she just couldn't handle it anymore. She didn't know why, and they were all great people, but it was just too much for her. "Yeah, I think I am leaving."

"Aww..." Yon whined, "Come on..."

"Let 'er go," Nectarine said, then turned to Zero, "But you will be up for more meet-ups and stuff, right?"

"As long as it is not this early," Zero said, then added, "And if it does not interrupt a date."

"Of course, of course," the orange-tentacled octoling smiled, "I would never do anything to bother you, okay? You're my HERO."

"Th-Thanks," Zero bowed a little before making for the door, "I will be seeing you all later then?"

"Yep!" Mill gave her a thumbs-up as she left.

As Zero stepped out of the Turf building, she couldn't help but feel... strange. Once again, they were nice people, and they really did look up to her... but why? And why were they so eager to hear everything about her? Is this was being looked up to is like?

She'd have to ask Shiver and Frye about it once she got home. Maybe even Big Man too, if he had managed to get up by that time...

Chapter Text

Zero leapt out of bed, the hugest smile on her face as she put on her nicest dress, made sure all of her plushies were comfortable, and walked out into the living room. She walked right by Shiver and Frye, who were laughing at the TV, and moved over to Big Man, who was making pancakes.

"Morning!" Zero greeted him, grabbing one of the cooked pancakes with her powers, slowly floating it towards her as she made for the door, "I am going out for some good hang out time!"

"Ay! (Have fun!)" Big Man shouted back, pointing his fin at her in what she could only assume was an attempt at a thumbs-up.

Zero hummed to herself as she walked down the apartment complex's halls, whipping open the door to the stairway and sliding down the long winding railing while eating her pancake. Big Man was improving his recipe, for sure-

Zero slipped off of the railing, plummeting towards the very bottom of the staircase. She quickly turned into her octopus form, then floated herself lightly down to the ground. She let out a small sigh of relief, but her relieved smile became a grimace as she realized that she had failed to save the pancake. She picked up her half-eaten breakfast, which was now covered with whatever the shell coated the floor of an apartment complex. She gagged a little as she flung it into a nearby trashcan, then dusted herself off and walked out into the city.

Splatsville was loud, as per usual, but it was the loud she had grown accustomed to. She popped in her cephalo-pods, the soothing notes of Sinatra flooding into her ear.

She danced down the street, a few inklings staring at her as she swung by in her beautiful blue dress and comfy striped beanie. She was bobbing her head, the music taking control as she got ever closer to Hotlantis.

A day, in the life of a fool...

She stopped in front of Hotlantis, quickly putting her pods away and straightening herself out before opening the door. The door let out its pleasant *DING!* as per usual, though that was never enough to actually grab Harmony's attention.

Zero walked up to the counter, peering over to see Harmony sat cross-legged, hunched over her GBA. Even like that, and even with only her casual tee and shorts on, she looked like the prettiest woman in the world.

"Heya Harmony!" Zero said, finally catching the anemone's attention, "You said we could hang today?"

"Zeers!" Harmony slowly got up, then practically leapt over the counter to give Zero the deepest of hugs, "Just the girl I wanted to see! How've you been?"

"Fine?" Zero giggled, "I am not knowing that you cared about that."

"Well, were you wondering how I was doing?" Harmony smirked, booping Zero on the nose with her technicolor finger.

"I..." Zero sighed, smiling and blushing a little as she nodded, "Yeah, I was wondering. How are you doing?"

"Great..." Harmony got real close to Zero, her breath sending goosebumps up the octoling's neck, "Now that you're here~"

"Mh-hm!" Zero could barely speak already. It was crazy how Harmony was just able to do that to her, but she never complained. "I am thinking that we pick up some grub from the big truck in the plaza! It is apparently selling fried chicken!"

"Ooh..." Harmony said, walking over to the window and flipping the sign to CLOSED, "That sounds fun... but you wanna know what sounds better?"

"What?" Zero asked.

"If you carry me there," Harmony said, walking back to Zero and wrapping her arms around the octoling's neck. With surprising force, she was able to climb into Zero's arms, the octoling almost buckling before she lightened the force of gravity on her girlfriend.

They both looked at each other for a second before falling into a small giggling fit, Zero carrying Harmony out of the building and over to a late breakfast.

This is a perfect day, Zero thought, then looked down at Harmony in her arms, Cod, I love her so much...

---

A line had just started to form once Zero and Harmony had gotten their chicken, the former opting for some mild nuggets while the latter got a spicy chicken sandwich. They sat down at a plastic table nearby, Zero very unsubtly eyeing Harmony every single time she took a bite out of her sandwich.

"You know..." Harmony said, "This stuff is good, right?"

"Yeah," Zero smiled, nibbling on her chicken nuggets, "Deep Cut took me here a few days ago, and I knew you would love it! My brain was all like, 'Hey! Harmony's gonna love this!'"

"Really?" Harmony chuckled, a few crumbs flying out of her mouth, "That's the best, man... Have I told you before that you're the cutest thing ever?"

"Uhh..." Zero blushed, her face growing hot, "Y-Yes?"

"Good," Harmony took another big bite of her sandwich, "Because you are."

"Thanks-" Zero stopped, instantly feeling somebody else's eyes on her. Her back tensed, her breath became slightly heavier. Her hands shivered as she tried to eat her chicken, almost dropping it before she could-

"Hey Zero!"

"AAAH!" Zero shouted, flinging her nugget high into the air. Her face was a dark grey, her chest heaving as she tried calming herself. It was just Mill and Yon... wait, why were they here?

"Hiiii!" Yon said, sitting down beside Zero, "How're you doing, Ang- I mean Zero?"

"Yeah!" Mill sat down on Zero's other side, their mere presence seeming to suffocate her, "What have you been up to?"

"I..." Zero looked over at Harmony, silently screaming at her to help.

"Yo, you two," Harmony said, grabbing their attention, "Who are you, and how do you-"

"I'm Mill, and this is my sister, Yon!" Mill motioned over to Yon, the both of them waving at Harmony, "We're Zero's BIGGEST fans! Though don't tell Lilly or Nectarine that..."

"Y-Yes," Zero nodded, "They are my fans, and we agreed that-"

"Isn't she so cool?" Yon asked Harmony, "I mean, you should know all about it right? Since you're dating, and all."

"Yeah," Harmony said, completely unamused, "We're DATING."

"That's siiiiiick," Mill said. He then tried to wrap his arm around Zero's shoulder, but she used her powers to push his arm away. He just chuckled awkwardly, his expression damn near unreadable.

"G-Guys?" Zero asked, "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't-"

"But we're not bothering you!" Yon insisted, "We just so happened to also be here and we just wanted to know how you're doing!"

"Will you leave if she tells you?" Harmony asked.

"So, how are you doing, Zero?" Mill said, completely disregarding her, "Don't want my hero going around down in the dumps, now do I?"

"Nah you don't!" Yon replied, fist-bumping her brother, "Come on, Zeers! How're you doing?"

"I-I..." Zero took a deep breath, "I am doing fine. Now may you please leave Harmony and me to my business."

"It's 'Harmony and I...'" Mill just then noticed Harmony giving him a death-stare, "Uh... yeah, we'll get going."

"What do you-" Yon started, but then noticed Harmony as well, "Oh, yeah. See ya later, Zeers..."

Zero nodded sheepishly as they left, her hands nearly covering her head in shame. Didn't they agree that they shouldn't be doing that? She just wanted one thing, and were they not going to-

"Zeers, what was that about?" Harmony asked.

"Th-That..." Zero stuttered, "They are my fans... I think."

"Ah..." Harmony nodded, "Yeah, I've dealt with that before. My advice, just tell them off. Next time they bother you, tell them to piss off."

"But that's rude!" Zero said, "They just like me! I can't say that to them!"

"That's what you think," Harmony said, "But trust me. If you let this go too far, it'll only get worse."

"I..." Zero didn't really know what to say. She wanted to say that she didn't want any of this, that she just wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep in Harmony's arms while she cried about it, but there was no way she could get away with saying that.

"Don't worry 'bout it, though," Harmony assured her, "Sorry if I scared ya. Thanks for the breakfast, by the way."

"No problem..." Zero suddenly felt really sick, "I think I need to leave. I'm sorry."

"Of course," Harmony said calmly, waving as Zero left, "I'll be seeing you later though, right?"

"Yep!" Zero said, then turned back and walked away. All she needed to do was clear her head, and then it would be fine...

Chapter Text

All Zero needed right now was a good dream. A nice, comforting release from all of the stress of the past few days. Thankfully, that's just what she seemed to get.

She was back at the tea table in the sky, with Enrico, Zer0, and 02 all sitting (or floating) around her. Nobody was really talking, but she was fine with that. A calm, quiet teatime with some brain friends sounded just about perfect right now.

She shuffled around a bit in her seat, grabbing a small teacup and bringing it to her lips. Strangely, she couldn't exactly taste anything, but could still feel the warmth of the liquid as it poured into her mouth.

"Hey guys," she finally broke the silence, placing her teacup on the table, "Can you guys taste anything? I can't taste this."

"Oh, that," Pucci nodded, "Yeah, your mind seems to be kind of weird when it comes to that. I just drink because there's nothing else to do."

"What about you two?" Zero asked the others.

"I physically cannot drink," 02 said in it's ethereal speech, "I am a simple eyeball with wings."

"Similar story," Zer0 said, pointing at his mask, "I cannot drink due to this. I want to, but... eh."

Zero just nodded, sighing a little as she took another sip. Even this was becoming a bit too boring for her. If only something interesting could happen...

And just like that, at the beckon of her mere thought, a portal appeared beside Zer0. The assassin simply stared at it, then let out an audible sigh as he went back to leaning over the table. Screams could be heard emanating from the portal, filling Zero with an instant dread. Had she just cursed herself? She'll take boring, as long as it isn't scary and horrible!

She tried to close the portal with her mind, but it was too late. The screams got closer, ever closer, until-

"I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT-CYCLE!!!"

A tall, extremely jacked man fell out of the portal, towering over the table as he looked around. He had a strange mask on his face, and just a little bit of hair on his head. He looked over at Zer0, laughing a bit when he saw the assassin.

"Ah!" the crazy man said, patting Zer0 on the back, "The carnage continues! Blood sports for the bloody men!"

"Zero, this is Krieg," Zer0 turned to Zero, "He is a little insane, but chill if you are nice."

"Who-" Krieg spotted Zero, his eyes instantly widening, "OOOH! IT IS A LITTLE TAKOYAKI!!!"

"Y-Yes?" Zero nodded, smiling awkwardly.

"The power of the moon is in force!" Krieg shouted joyfully, "The takoyaki is the cycling partner on the railroad to Hell!"

"Th-Thanks?"

"This is a strange man..." Pucci said, staring at Krieg, "What exactly happened to him?"

"LOTS OF NEEDLES!!!" Krieg belted, his voice cracking a bit, "AND PRETTY LADY... OH, PRETTY LADY..."

"I see," Pucci nodded, "Experimentation and the death of a dearly loved one, am I correct?"

"Yes!" Krieg nodded.

"How did you do that?" Zero asked Pucci, "How can you understand him?"

"It's not that hard," Pucci explained, "You just need to read his words and voice. I can already tell that despite his confusing diction, he is actually more open than most about his true self. All you need to do is find that true self in his speech, and you can understand him."

"Cool..." Zero nodded, not really understanding all of that, "So... how are you doing, Krieg?"

"The takoyaki holds statues in her garden!" Krieg shouted, "Serenity and peace!"

"So... good?" Zero smiled.

"Yep," Pucci answered for Krieg, smiling at Zero, "See? It's deceptively simple, no?"

"Yeah!" Zero said triumphantly, holding out her fist. Before anybody else could even get to it, Krieg practically leapt over the table to fist-bump her, nearly breaking her hand in the process. She seethed a bit, but was still smiling as wide as ever.

"Little takoyaki is a spirit of life!" Krieg exclaimed, "She knows what lies in the sky!"

Zero nodded in agreement, happier than she had been in days. It was sad, really, that she felt happier with an insane buff man than with Harmony, but that wasn't exactly true. She loved Harmony much more, but she just couldn't be out in public, at all. All of those super-fans, suffocating her-

Zero blinked, only to realize that it was all gone. The table, the people, the tea. Everything. She was just floating in a void of black, nothing left to comfort her.

"H-Hello?" she asked, suddenly feeling really dehydrated, "Is anybody-"

"Hey Zero."

Zero looked behind her, only to see Nectarine standing right there. The octoling smiled sickeningly, horrible black ink oozing out of her mouth as she approached Zero. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, tentacles darkening and skin growing more pale until it wasn't even Nectarine anymore.

"Hello, Angel," Lucy said, poison on her voice, "I am your biggest fan..."

"No," Zero said, trying her hardest to will this disease from her mind, "No no no no no-"

Zero jolted up, back in her room.

Back in the real world.

She looked at her bedside table, sighing when she saw that it was only 3:00 AM. Glancing quickly at her phone, she could see 12 notifications. She wanted to look at it, maybe they were from Harmony, but she decided not to. They were probably just from Nectarine and her friends anyways, so what was the point?

Just like the many bad dreams before, she grabbed one of her plushies, this time the clownfish one, and tried to cry herself back to sleep.

Chapter Text

It wasn't supposed to be a busy day. Harmony had too much work, so they couldn't go on a date, and Deep Cut would be out all day prepping for yet another Splatfest. That left Zero all alone, and while usually she'd take this time to go out on the town, today she had a different plan.

She giggled to herself as she snuck into Shiver's room, acting very sneaky despite nobody actually being home. She crept up to the octoling's bedside table, quietly and gingerly grabbing a phonograph that was sitting there. There were a bunch of records in the closet, but those were all Shiver's songs. Zero brought the device out to the living room, where the hissing of a tea kettle could be heard as she placed it down and ran into her own bedroom.

She whipped open one of her cabinets, a plethora of records on display for her to choose from. She really had no clue which one to use, so she grabbed as much as she could carry before also grabbing a small plush microphone on her bed.

Zero ran back out into the living room, hugest smile on her face as she placed the records by the phonograph. She looked back at the kettle. It seemed to almost be done, so she ran as fast as she could back into her room so she could grab her three favorite plushies and put them on the couch.

Two octoling plushies, one a bright pink and one a dark green, and her clownfish plushie.

The kettle beeped just as she was done placing the plushies down. She bolted over, almost whacking her hip on the kitchen island before she got to it. It felt kind of fun, rushing around so much, but it was exhausting. Zero took a few deep breaths before grabbing the kettle and pouring into a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal. She placed the oatmeal back on the table, and grabbed a somewhat large carton of chocolate milk out of the fridge. Not exactly big enough that it was too much to drink all at once, but not so small that it could be sold in a school cafeteria. 

She brought the milk and oatmeal with her as she went back into the living room, sitting on the couch and getting real comfy as she placed her meal down. She then turned back to the phonograph and began sifting through her records, just to see which one she was in the mood for.

She made a mental list in her head, jumping back and forth between the options like she was customizing a character in a video game.

Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers? Eh, that one was for when she was looking at the sunrise with Remy on those really bad nights. The ones where her nightmares got really bad. He couldn't even help her, as apparently all his powers allowed for was putting people to sleep, and not much more.

Hocus Pocus by Focus? That one was good, but that was for the crazy moments. She once played it in the van when Frye was going 90 in a residential area. It was really funny, but the Inkopolis police didn't seem to agree.

How about-

Zero stopped, instantly shuffling through the records as a lightbulb brightened above her head. She whipped one of the records from the pile, one of her absolute favorites. A song she would hum to herself, whenever she felt all right in the world.

The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.

She placed the record on the phonograph, and began chowing down on her oatmeal as the music poured out and throughout the room. It was magical, the power that the music had. Zero placed down her food, and after taking a sip of milk, picked up the plush microphone and began to sing along.

"You gotta know when to hold 'em," she sang, her voice echoing throughout the apartment, "Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run. You never count your money, when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting, when the dealing's done."

She smiled, going back to her oatmeal as the song continued. She never knew much about gambling, but she had heard that Melody's dad knew a lot. Maybe he already knew all of this stuff. Shell, maybe he was The Gambler! She's have to ask him sometime.

Well, no matter who he was, this Gambler guy seemed to know what he was talking about. Much surer than Zero could ever be, but that's why she liked the song so much. Maybe one day, she could be a Gambler, giving advice to nice men like Kenny Rogers. Maybe then, she could get a song about herself, that could be sung and enjoyed even after her entire race goes extinct.

That honestly kind of depressed her, though. She loved this human music, just because of how foreign and pretty it was. Shell, she had learned quite a bit of English just so she could know what the words meant. Thankfully, Angel seemed to have a lot of that already, probably learning it back in the Domes...

Zero paused, looking around slowly as her stomach began to sink. She didn't know why her hands had begun shaking, yet she also knew the feeling all too well.

She was being watched.

"Hello?" she called out, not really expecting an answer, "Is anybody there? I know somebody's there!"

Silence. Her stomach sank even more.

"G-Guys?" she asked, hugging her pink octoling plush to her chest, "This isn't funny. Just tell me who you are, and please leave."

"I-I'm sorry, Angel-"

Zero jolted back, an octoling standing by the window. At first she thought it was a woman with long, black tentacles covering her face, but it just turned out to be Nami.

"Nami?" Zero asked, more confused than angry, "Why are you in my house?"

"I just-" Nami seemed to freeze for a second, "I mean I- I wanted- I don't-"

"Hey, hey," Zero stopped her record, then walked over and gave the octoling a big hug. He let out a little noise as she wrapped her arms around him, but quickly melted into them. "Just breathe... What are you doing?"

"I just-" he sniffled, "I wanted to see you. You've always been so cool... and I feel like I messed up when we met. I'm sorry."

"Well..." Zero looked around, "You should be."

"W-What?"

"You broke into my apartment!" Zero exclaimed, then quickly hushed herself, "But, I can see that you only did it because you like me. Look, I have a life too, okay? And I need to relax. I will talk to you later, I swear, but just please don't ever do this again."

"O-Okay, Angel..."

"It's Zero," Zero corrected him, opening the window for him, "You'll be...?"

"I'll be fine," he said, wiping a bit at his masquera-covered face, "Thanks."

He turned into his octopus form, super-jumping away before Zero could even say goodbye. She sighed, closing the window and going back to her oatmeal. It was a little cold, but nothing too horrible. She turned the phonograph back on, hoping she could just relax as the music flooded into her ears.

Cause every hand's a winner, the phonograph rang, And every hand's a loser. And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep...

Chapter Text

Zero had the goofiest smile on her face as she got out of bed, a spring in her step when sliding over to the closet and carefully slipping on her beautiful one-piece blue lingerie. Right over that went the usual hoodie and shorts, Harmony had told her the place they were going was very "business casual". She didn't exactly get what that meant, but any excuse to wear her hoodie was a good one.

She hopped into her slippers before swinging the door open, beaming as she shuffled into the kitchen and waved good morning to Big Man and Frye. The former was making his usual flapjacks, while the latter seemed to be working with some kind of frosting bag. Usually Frye slept in with Shiver, but Zero couldn't complain if desserts were involved.

"What's making?" Zero said gleefully, looking over Frye's shoulder. Instead of seeing a delicious dessert, however, her jaw dropped as she saw something even more beautiful.

Frye had some kind of art on her hand, piped onto there by the bag. It was a dark brown, just a few tones darker than her own skin, and was put on in a floral pattern much like Zero's lingerie. Zero looked Frye dead in the eyes, stars in her vision when she looked back down at the art.

"What is that!?" she exclaimed, holding out her hand. Frye quickly slapped it away, chuckling a little at the octoling's advance. "Hey! What's that-"

"You can't touch," Frye wagged her uncovered finger in Zero's face, her other hand held out and away from anything else. She was keeping her palm open as well, most likely not to disturb the artwork. "You'll mess it up."

"Okay..." Zero peeked over Frye's shoulder just to get a better look at the art-covered hand, "What is it though?"

"Henna!" Frye smiled, pointing to the bag, "It's a paint made using plants, and in my clan we use it to cover our hands in this beautiful art!"

"Ay, ay! (Don't ask her what exactly it's made of though, she doesn't know!)" Big Man joked.

"Oh shut it!" Frye swatted at him, but missing due to his doormat-esque physique, "You also don't know everything about your family's rituals!"

"Ay! (That's Shiver!)" Big Man rolled his eyes, then turned back to Zero, "Ay, (Just between you and me, I'm the least of a disappointment to my family...)"

"I swear, Big Man!" Frye threatened, raising her clean hand, "I can still whoop yo ass without messing up my henna!"

"Ay... (Okay...)" Big Man remarked, flipping his flapjacks. He turned to Zero, quickly switching the conversation. "Ay? (Hey Zeers. You got a date today, right?)"

"Oh, yeah!" Zero said, smiling a little, "She said we were going somewhere 'business casual' today, so I'm very excited!"

"Of course you are," Frye chuckled, then looked back down at her henna bag, "Hey Zeers, when is your date?"

"Lunchtime," Zero cocked her head, "Why?"

"I got about... 30 or 40 minutes until this dries," she said, motioning to her hand, "When it's done, you want some? I can actually do both your hands too, unlike my own."

"Really!?" Zero asked, shooting stars in her eyes, "You'll henna my hands?"

"Yeah," Frye laughed, "I'll 'henna your hands'. Just wait a sec. How about you go wake Shivs up?"

"Sure!" Zero saluted, then zipped off to Shiver and Frye's room. Opening the door, she could see a large snoring hump in the bed. Giggling to herself, she lifted one of the plethora of blåhajar off the ground and floated it above Shiver's body. Letting go, she could hear a small yelp as the plush fell onto the sleeping octoling.

"Oi..." Shiver mumbled, rolling over and out of the covers, "JOSUKE-"

She flopped out onto the ground, her face smushed against yet another blåhaj. She was completely naked as well, but she didn't really care as she slumped up and rubbed her eyes.

"Wha's it now?" she said groggily, then perked up when she saw it was Zero who had woken her up, "Oh, hey Zeers. Wha's up?"

"Frye is hennaing my hands!" Zero beamed.

"Wha-" Shiver paused, then nodded, "Ohhhh... okay. Why you gotta wake me up, then?"

"She asked me to," Zero smirked.

"Fucking shell..." Shiver groaned, walking out into the living room without even bothering to put any clothes on. She flopped onto the couch, quickly grabbing a fluffy blanket and wrapping it around her. She couldn't see it, but Frye and Big Man were just barely keeping themselves from bursting out in hysterics just by looking at her disheveled appearance.

Zero followed her out, immediately scootching over towards Frye.

"Is it dry yet?" she asked eagerly, "Can I get henna now?"

"Zeers, girl," Frye giggled, "It's been like three minutes. Just wait, okay?"

"Oh, okay," Zero smiled, "I can wait."

Chapter Text

Zero was ecstatic as she stepped through the automatic doors, her sinuses instantly soothed with the heavenly smell of multitudes of sauces. The place Harmony had chosen was some kind of "Italian" place, whatever that meant. It was called Eli's, which while a very simple name, kind of made Zero like the place even more. Just looking around, she'd have to find this Eli guy and give him the biggest hug possible.

While definitely "Business Casual" as Harmony had described, Eli's had some of the most beautiful art that Zero had ever seen baked into its walls. Each painting had a similar monochromatic scheme, but they all had a definite style to it that she could appreciate. It was like staring into the blueprints, or in this case brownprints, of a master builder or weaponsmith. It was mystifying.

"Hello, ma'am," a waitress said, standing behind a small podium. There was a large stack of wooden menus beside him, the intricate vines of the Eli's logo printed atop each one. As for the waitress, she had a strange robotic tone to her voice, her skin a sickly green. "How many are in your party for the evening?"

"Party...?" Zero asked, cocking her head, "I am sorry, but I am not having a party. I am on a date."

"Good for you, ma'am," the waitress sneezed, causing Zero backing away a bit, "Excuse me, allergies. If you have a date, then where may they be?"

"I heard she would already be here," Zero said, rocking back and forth on her heels, "She is Harmony, from that one chip tune band. You heard of her?"

"Ah, of course," she strained a smile, grabbing a menu and beckoning for Zero to follow her, "She is outside."

Zero followed the octoling waitress up a few tiny flights of stairs, some of them even being only two stairs in height, before getting to a door which led to a balcony outside. The waitress opened the door, bowing slightly as Zero stepped out onto the balcony. She had to look around for only a second before she could see her date, shimmering in all of her beauty.

Harmony was wearing a bright, iridescent dress that sparkled remarkably in the dim candlelight of the balcony. The moon shined above her, its rays reflecting off of her and making her glow with a heavenly light.

"Oh, hey Zeers!" Harmony waved as the waitress walked past Zero, pulling out her chair and putting the menu on the table, "Come on, is there a problem?"

"What-?" Zero shook her head, sparkles still in her eyes. She sat down across from Harmony, the waitress pushing her seat in and then walking off. "Oh, sorry. I am just very overwhelmed-"

"By my beauty?"

"UHHH I- UHHH..." Zero stammered, "I mean I... Yes."

"I thought so," Harmony giggled, her menu open in her hand, "Speaking of, your hoodie is very cute. Love the beanie, too."

"Oh, thanks," Zero blushed, "You were telling me this is business casual."

"And it is," Harmony smiled, then placed the menu in between them. Zero had her own menu, but Harmony could tell that she was the only thing the octoling was paying attention to. "Anyways, whaddaya want? They've got pastas, pizzas, salads..."

"A pasta sounds good-" Zero perked up, "I mean, what kind of pasta... dishes they have?"

"Hm," Harmony handed her menu to Zero, filching the octoling's for herself, "How about you check? They got a lot here, so take your time."

"I know," Zero said, glancing inquisitively over the menu. Harmony was right, there really was a lot, even just in the pasta section. Zero furrowed her eyebrows, biting the inside of her lip.

Funnily enough that was actually one of the few benefits of her body's... condition. Due to the missing fang in the top of her beak, she could actually bite the inside of her lip without it hurting much.

"The um..." Zero pointed her finger at her menu, showing it to Harmony, "How about the Linguine Alfredo?"

"A classic," Harmony nodded, closing Zero's menu for her and placing it atop her own, "It's a big order though. Maybe we could share? Unless if you don't-"

"IWOULDVERYMUCHBEFINEWITHTHATYES," Zero said, her face a dark grey. She coughed, lowering her voice. "Y-Yes, that is okay."

Harmony smiled sweetly, giggling a little as she looked at Zero's love-burnt face. Staring at the octoling, her body seemed to move on its own. She leaned in, her lips pursed and a small bit of drool dripping from her mouth-

"Hello madams," the waitress reappeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Harmony blushed as she sat back in her chair, Zero's face still a deep grey. "What would you like to order?"

"A large order of the Linguine Alfredo," Harmony said, wiping her bottom lip, "To share."

"Mh-hm," she nodded robotically, "And drinks?"

"Roober, please," Zero said, smiling a little.

"Yeah," Harmony giggled, "I'll have one of those too."

"Good," the waitress nodded, the light of the moon reflected in her sunglasses. Her sickly green skin seemed to glow, as if it were an organism separate from herself. "Nice waiting for you, again."

Zero stared at the waitress as she walked off, and then turned to Harmony. The hamster wheel was spinning in her head, but she was so immediately focused on how pretty Harmony was that she couldn't think straight.

"Does that woman..." Zero asked, "Know us?"

"Yeah," Harmony said, "She waited for us at Fantasian Seas, remember? Eve's a very distinct woman."

"Oh, of course," Zero said, shrinking a bit, "You know her?"

"Not much," Harmony shrugged, "All I know is that she's the producer for Illuminati Narwhal, but waits just for some extra income. Dunno what's with her skin, though. I heard it was a-"

"She is sanitized," Zero stated plainly, looking back at the door, "I did not know there were any who escaped."

"Escaped what?" Harmony asked.

"The metro," Zero explained, "That is where I am from. The very cold place. With very cold people. The Sanitized, C.Q. called them. He said they were old experiments gone wrong, or something. He didn't like them much."

"Oh..." Harmony said, reaching her hand across the table and placing it on Zero's, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't say that to me," Zero sighed, "C.Q. likes me, for some reason. He doesn't like them."

"Well..." Harmony said, "What do YOU think of Eve?"

"She is nice," Zero chuckled, "Though she has bad timing..."

"Speak of the devil," Eve said, yet again appearing out of nowhere, their drinks and food in hand. Zero nearly leapt back in her seat, the sanitized octoling chuckling robotically to herself. "Your meals, madams."

"Thank you," Harmony said, giving Zero a small look as Eve placed the large pasta bowl between them. The octoling then placed their Root Beers at opposite sides of the bowl, before bowing and walking off.

"So..." Zero said, picking up her fork, "This is a lot of-"

Harmony wasn't even listening, already slurping down a large spool of linguine. She looked up at the octoling, white sauce mixing with her technicolor drool as it dripped down her chin.

Zero smirked, twirling some linguine around her own fork and taking a large bite out of it. Harmony giggled through her pasta, butterflies forming in Zero's stomach.

They ate late into the night, the pasta perhaps much more than they asked for. By the end, the bowl had been emptied, but both Zero and Harmony were nearly knocked out. Harmony's root beer was empty, while Zero's was still nearly full, now diluted by the now-melted ice cubes.

Zero took a sip of her diluted root beer, burping a little. She covered her mouth, only for Harmony to reply with a burp of her own. Zero fell into a small fit, nearly choking on her drink as she giggled hysterically. She began gagging, Harmony standing up and coming over to her.

"You good?" Harmony soothed, rubbing Zero's shoulder.

"Yeh," Zero coughed, "Lot of food."

"Indeed," Harmony smiled, her face very close to Zero's ear. She pecked a small kiss onto Zero's cheek, a small rainbow mark left there before she wiped it off with her napkin. "It was good though, no?"

"Yeah," Zero nodded, standing up. By cod her face was so close to Harmony's she could just-

"Hello madams."

Zero glanced over un-amusedly at Eve, who was very much now taking the piss out of her. That codamn sanitized octoling was ripping open Zero's abdomen, ripping out her bladder, and draining the piss out of it.

Metaphorically.

"I have the check right here," Eve said, placing the check on the table, "So if you-"

"Yeah, yeah," Harmony opened her wallet, tapping a small card on the small robotic check. It dinged, Eve smiling before she picked it up and walked away.

"Have a good night, madams," Eve said, chuckling robotically to herself, "And thank you for the tip."

She walked off, her smile fading as she passed through the door and back into the restaurant. She placed the small check device on the counter, a fellow waiter giving her a strange look as she retreated into the bathroom.

Eve clutched her head as she fell back against the wall of the bathroom stall, her throat dry and her breath heavy. She sat there for a few moments, breathing heavily until her heartbeats began to regulate.

She stood back up, walking out of the bathroom with the same stride as before. Stepping out onto the balcony, she could see the two lovebirds were gone, but the mess they had left definitely was not. She sighed, grabbing the large bowl and glasses and bringing them back towards the restaurant.

Before re-entering, however, she took a look out at the moon above, shimmering brightly in its heavenly crescent glory.

"Yes, that's what it is called. Project 0-G. Any problems with that?"

"N-No, sir, it is simply-"

"Angel? She is nothing anymore. Simply a corpse to be repurposed into something much greater. If you do not like that, then please, take your leave. I have no use for you sanitized abominations anyways."

"Good luck, Angel," Eve whispered, absolutely certain nobody would hear her besides the great shining moon above, "And thank you."

Chapter Text

Zero blinked a bit as the bright green of the rolling hills yet again came into view. She sat up, smiling a little as she spotted the picnic table nearby.

Pucci was sitting contemplatively, as per usual, the Bible in his hands. Zer0 was currently talking with a small friend of his, some kind of deformed but still adorable puppy. 02 was either meditating or sleeping, the only movement being the slow and constant sway of its angelic wings.

"Hey guys!" Zero exclaimed, sitting down across from Pucci and Zer0, the former tensing up a bit. 02, as always, was sitting at the head of the table. "How you guys been?"

"Fine, though I must ask," Zer0 said, his robotic filter crackling, "What has happened to you, Zero? You had gone missing. Gone from your own mind. Truly a predicament, do you not agree?"

"Yeah," Zero let out a puff of air. She looked at Pucci, but he was still focused on his scripture. "Sorry 'bout that. What happened in here, when that was going on?"

"Nothing," 02 spoke, finally opening its crimson eye, "Besides whispers. Horrible whispers. These two did not hear them, however."

"Oh..." Zero sighed, slumping in her seat and using her powers to pour herself some tea, "Sorry again. Dunno what happened, really, but it's good now. I heard I died though, so that's fun..."

"Is that sarcasm?" 02 spoke, its tone carrying a strange twinge of worry, "What happened?"

"Nothing, I think..." Zero looked back at Pucci, his lack of engagement starting to get to her, "I just remember Pebs taking control... and it hurt so much! A-And then I hear someone yell something I can't quite hear-"

"Relax Zero, just breathe," Zer0 soothed, placing his small deformed puppy on the table, "This is Dukino, my skag. You want to pet him? It helps me calm down, especially on the job. Petting relieves stress."

"Thanks," Zero said, the skag running towards her and almost knocking over her teacup. Dukino really looked deformed, like something horrible had happened to him, but that somehow made Zero love him more. She rubbed behind his scaly neck, a low growl coming from his mouth. "Aww... little guy. You remind me of Lil' Judd. Though I don't get that. He's not very little at all."

"Perhaps he was little once," 02 suggested, a large, red teardrop falling from its eye and staining the grass below, "Nicknames stick, sometimes moreso than real names."

Zero paused for a second, looking over at Pucci. He still hadn't said anything, the human fully enraptured in his holy text. It kind of... no, it didn't, what was she thinking?

"Well," Zero turned back to 02, only to realize that the angel was gone. Whipping her head to her side, Zer0 and Dukino both appeared to be gone as well. There was only one other man at the table, still completely focused his book.

Zero stared at Pucci for a while before she began whistling. When that didn't work, she started rhythmically snapping her fingers. When THAT didn't work, she began tapping at her teacup with her fork.

And when that didn't work, she bit the bullet.

"PUCCI!" she shouted, the man still not looking up from The Bible. Her face was grey now, her tone growing more exasperated. "Why the shell won't you talk to me!? What is going on!?"

He didn't answer. Zero seethed, the ink in her body beginning to boil.

"Pucci I swear to cod," Zero whammed her fist onto the table, the teacups, utensils, and small bowls of sugar all floating about a foot in the air. "This is my mind! And when you're in MY mind, you will listen to ME, goddammit!"

Pucci finally looked up from his book, sighing heavily as he placed it down. Zero let out a deep breath, everything on the table slowly floating back down into place.

"You shouldn't use the lord's name in vain," Pucci said plainly, picking the book back up and continuing on with his reading.

Zero stopped, simply staring slack-jawed at the man as the hamster running in her head was doused in gasoline, hit by lightning, and then thrown into the middle of a nuclear weapons testing site.

"You..." Zero said, the entire table shaking with the same frequency as her quivering arms, "EXCUSE ME?! What do you mean, 'the lord'? What? Your God? I have a god of my own; she lives in my head! Y-You insensitive, rotten-"

"What?" Pucci placed the book down, a strange look to his eyes. They were pure red, a similar crimson to 02's. "What am I, Zero? If not everything you could ever wish to be? I have allies, power, a lover who actually cares for me, and an understanding of Gravity that you will never attain!"

"I-I-" Zero said, her anger melting, "I just- what are you saying!?"

"You are weak, Zero," Pucci said, his skin turning green, "You are a child, with powers that you don't even deserve to have. What is the point of power, if you cannot control it?"

"You-" Zero fell out of her seat, Pucci's overbearing glare causing her entire body to enter fight-or-flight. Her brain seemed to chose flight, but her frozen legs prevented that from even being an option. "What have you done with Pucci? Get out of my head, please!"

"I did nothing with Pucci," the figure said, now fully transformed. Its lidless eyes gazed into Zero's soul, the force of Gravity around it growing exponentially. "I am Pucci. I am his soul. I am Gravity itself. I am C-Moon."

"You- Get out-!"

"I am you."

---

Zero shot awake, her hearts clutched in her hand. Her chest was heaving, her skin tingling from the cold air of her room. She tried to slow her breathing, but it didn't seem to be working as tears threatened to flow from her eyes.

She could see it, clear as day. Three's mutilated body, Marina's armless corpse. She shuddered as she rocked back and forth, maybe hoping that the movement could calm her down. She tried using her power to grab her phone from her bedside table, but she just ended up knocking it off and sending it flying under her bed.

She curled up into a ball as she floated her many plushies closer to her, their warmth swamping her body but not her mind. It was only when she could hear a low buzzing that she snapped out of it for a second, her attention turning to her phone.

Using all the power she could muster, she pulled her phone out from under the bed and into her hands. The screen lit up, her own scrunched face briefly flashing before her eyes. She sighed, only to realize that Harmony had texted her. She perked up, quickly tapping on her phone.

---

Chirpy: Hey Zeers

Chirpy: How ya doin'?

Zer0: Fine

Chirpy: Ok liar

Zer0: what?

Chirpy: Girl you FaceTimed me in your sleep.

Zer0: How?!

Chirpy: Dunno. You were dead asleep tho.

Zer0: What did you see?

Chirpy: Well, what happened in your dreams?

---

Zero sighed, rubbing her forehead with two fingers.

---

Zer0: I don't know really

Zer0: it was just really bad

Chirpy: and cold?

Zer0: And cold

Chirpy: Has Deep Cut heard you yet?

Zer0: I don't think so. How loud was I?

Chirpy: Not very loud, but they shoulda heard you.

Zer0: Shiver and Frye have a sound-proof room and Biggie sleeps really deep

Chirpy: Ok that settles it

Zer0: Settles what?

Chirpy: Pack your stuff. You aren't gonna be able to sleep tonight anyways, so best to get to work now.

---

Zero blinked, her hearts beginning to race.

---

Zer0: Pack for what?

Chirpy: You're moving in with me. I got a big apartment don't worry

Zer0: CAN I SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS YOU?

---

Zero face-palmed. She didn't even mean to tap the caps lock there.

---

Chirpy: Yeah sure lol

Zer0: Oh, thanks

Chirpy: Tell me if you need any help btw

Zer0: Okey

Chirpy: I'm gonna snooze, but you can just come in. I got a pretty secure system, but you should be able to get right in.

Zer0: Okay, good night!

Chirpy: Love you 😘

Zer0: Love you too 😘

<Chirpy left the chat>

<Zer0 left the chat>

---

Zero smiled, her powers acting on their own to lift her plushies and put them into the assortment of cardboard boxes that sat in her closet. It would take a while, but the mere thought of Harmony allowing her to move in propelled her forward. It was a strange feeling Zero had never really felt before. This mixture of pure love, adrenaline, and the unending need for... something. She couldn't exactly place what that last feeling was.

But it felt really good.

Chapter Text

Zero whistled to herself as she walked down the dimly lit Splatsville streets, about four cardboard boxes floating by her head. Two of them held plushies, only one held her about five pairs of clothes, the ones she hadn't stolen from Shiver, Frye, or Callie, and the last one holding her phonograph and a few of her favorite vinyls.

She had placed a note on her bed for Deep Cut when they woke up, though they wouldn't be doing that for almost eight hours. It was just a quick note, telling them of her whereabouts and that she was in perfectly capable hands. She debated writing that last bit, but something in her brain told her that she shouldn't be trusted when by herself.

And that's where she was mentally as she whistled through the night. Her mind screaming at her in five different languages, none of which she understood, and her feet freezing in the cold air. Her body was fine, due to her nice sweater, but the only protection her feet had were a pair of socks and sandals.

Speaking of clothing...

Zero sighed as she adjusted herself, her lingerie riding up a bit. She was wary about wearing it, especially since Harmony still hadn't seen it yet, but ultimately decided to. Harmony was doing something nice for her, so why not give her a nice surprise when she wakes up?

Zero continued down the street, a bit of a bounce in her stride as she gazed at the buildings beside her. Harmony's apartment was only a block away, Zero's hearts racing a bit more with each step.

It was that feeling again, that one she couldn't place. It made her feel warm and bubbly inside, like love, but way too much so for her to handle. Her face was warm, her mind forming strange, blotted images in her head. It was like Pebs was screaming at her, trying to stop her from feeling this way.

Then again, Pebs was dead, so what was it?

Zero instinctively touched her nipple-less breast, even that tiny bit of friction making her breath hitch. She instantly let go, her hands quivering a bit as she looked down at them. What was happening to her? Why would she do that?

It did feel good, though...

Zero shook her head, shakily resuming her whistling as she turned the corner. Harmony's apartment complex was right there, the small sign shining in the night. Zero rushed towards it, her chest heaving as she stopped at the front door. A small buzzer was beside it, and after pressing it, a small voice came out.

"Hello?" the voice said through the buzzer, "Oh wait, is that you?"

"You who?" Zero asked, pressing the button again, "I am Zero, nice to meet you. I am here for Harmony, she said I could move in with her..."

"Oh, got it," the door clicked, Zero quickly opening it, "Have a good night, then."

"G'night!" Zero said, slamming the door behind her and moving over to the elevator. She clicked on the up button, her breath still heavy. She knew where Harmony was, room 50. Zero liked that that was Harmony's room number, it was a really clean number. Sometimes numbers just got too confusing.

The elevator dinged, the metal doors parting to reveal a yellow-haired octoling standing inside. A yellow-haired octoling that Zero had seen before.

"Oh!" Ken smiled, waving to Zero as she stepped into the elevator, "Heya Zeers! How're ya doing?"

"Not good," Zero said plainly, "Why are you here?"

"This is where my dad lives," Ken chuckled, "Why are you here?"

"Harmony," Zero said, her breath not regulating, "She said I could live with her."

"Lucky you..." Ken leaned over a bit, his hand right near Zero's forehead, "What's going on? Are you sick?"

"What do you-" Zero snapped, but then quieted down. She just looked away from him, shuffling a bit as she sighed. "No, I'm not sick. I am just having these weird feelings."

"Weird how?" Ken asked.

"It is like I am hungry, but not for food," Zero said, her hand over her heart, "I am thinking I am hungry for Harmony, but I don't want to eat her! And there are these thoughts, but they're all blurry and pixelated! I can only see color, and no shapes!"

"Blurry and pixelated?" Ken snorted, leaning back against the elevator wall, "Well, I wish I could help with that, but I think that's somebody else's job."

"What do you mean?" Zero asked eagerly, "Do you know?"

"Yeah, I got an idea," Ken blushed a bit, "But I don't think I'm very qualified to tell you. Don't worry though, it is normal."

"Normal for normal people?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh, okey," Zero said, a small smile forming on her face, "Thanks."

"No probs," Ken said, pulling a small knife from his pocket. Zero tensed up a bit, but he just waved his hands a bit and presented it to her. "This is called a Black Rose. It's based on a video game I like."

"Oh," Zero said, eyeing the admittedly beautiful knife, "I have been wanting to get into games, but I only play party ones with my friends."

"If you're starting a solo experience," Ken said, "May I suggest Little Big Planet? It's a very comfortable and easy to learn game, while not being baby-easy. Also it has cute little sack people, so that's a plus."

"Sounds nice," Zero smiled, then remembered something, "Actually, I remember seeing Harmony play a game with little yarn dinosaurs. It's called Yoshi's Woolly World, and she said she'd let me play it some day!"

"Well, ask her!" Ken encouraged, "If I've learned anything from seeing Harmony here, it's that she has a STASH of games. She's got like every video game under the moon, both inkling and human!"

"Awesome," Zero said, bouncing up and down a bit. The elevator dinged, finally dropping her off at the fifth floor. She looked back to Ken as she stepped out, the floating cardboard boxes behind her. "Thanks Ken. You know, you're much less weird than your friends."

"Eh, ya get used to them," Ken chuckled, "Oh, and since you're living here now, would you mind giving my dad a visit sometime? He's a huge fan!"

"Of course!" Zero waved as the elevator doors closed, her breath finally steady and a huge smile on her face. She walked down the halls, eventually getting to Room 50.

The door to Harmony's apartment had some kind of fingerprint-scanning pad on it, which unlocked the door the instant Zero placed her finger on it. She had no clue how Harmony had gotten her fingerprint, but she was really grateful for it.

It was only when she entered the apartment and felt its warmth that Zero began to feel sleep overtake her. She yawned, placing all of the boxes down on Harmony's couch as she moved towards the anemone's bedroom.

Opening the door, Zero flopped onto Harmony's soft bed, her head smothered by the anemone's many plushies. Harmony herself was nearly naked, only a loose tee and a pair of panties on as she squirmed around. She seemed about half asleep, letting out a light breath as Zero snuggled closer to her.

Zero herself removed her sweater, beanie, and sweatpants, leaving her in only her light blue lingerie. It was surprisingly comfy, and she could see the slightest smile form on Harmony's face as she wrapped her arms around her.

Harmony was so warm, even more so than Zero's rapidly beating hearts. She was feeling it again, that feeling. This time, however, it was in complete overdrive. Her hearts raced, her breath came out in loud bursts, and her body burned like shell.

Despite all of that, she couldn't help but feel better about herself as she tightened her embrace around Harmony, drifting off to sleep with her love in her arms.

Chapter Text

You should not have done that.

"Yo, Zeers!"

What have you done?

"Zeers? Yoo-hoo!"

What would your father think?

"Babygirl, there is no way you ain't awake by now."

What would Space think?

Zero awoke, her eyes shooting open. She looked down at Harmony, who was standing in the doorway. Glancing around, she realized she had been sleeping in the middle of the room, floating about five or six feet above everything else. Small bubbles of her own ink orbited her, which floated out of the bite marks on her shoulder. Her lingerie was only slightly damaged, the only issue being some staining that could easily be removed by a good enough washing machine.

"There ya go," Harmony chirped, smiling at the octoling, "You sleep well?"

"Yeh," Zero nodded, stretching a bit in the air, "How long have I been like this?"

"Ever since you woke up," Harmony said, "Why?"

"You take any pictures of me?"

"Wha-" Harmony blinked, "Did you want me to?"

"I look like an art piece up here..." Zero said, half to Harmony and half to herself, "There are these bubbles of my ink... the art of my body, both fabric and plants... By the way, you like my Henna?"

"It's the best," Harmony said, pulling out her shellphone, "Sorry I never mentioned it. Kinda hard to see back at the restaurant, and last night... well..."

"That was lovely," Zero said plainly, curling into a ball as Harmony took a few pictures. It was like she was a planet, her bubbles of gravitated ink her many moons that orbited around her. After Harmony had taken about ten photos, each from slightly different angles, Zero began to float down to her. "You are very good at making me feel good."

"Oh..." Harmony blushed, "Thanks... I've never really been told that before..."

"Have you done that before?" Zero asked, floating down right in front of Harmony and grabbing the anemone's hands in hers, "Who was it with?"

"I- ah- umm..." Harmony stammered, Zero's cold breath on her nose, "I-I didn't- It wasn't anything serious, I swear! I-I was just-"

"Oh, that is sad," Zero lamented, rubbing Harmony's hand a little, "You are very good at that, I am sad to hear you are not always serious about it."

"No that's not-" Harmony stopped, giggling a little as she saw Zero's plush-like expression, "Wanna know what? None of that matters. I love you now, and that's the end of it."

"Aww..." Zero said, letting go of Harmony's hands and walking out into the kitchen, "I love you too. You making food?"

"Nah, sorry," Harmony shook her head, then gestured over to a small cupboard by the fridge, "I got lots of instant ramen though. Maybe I could heat some up and we could watch a movie or something?"

"That sounds nice!" Zero smiled.

Then, without any warning whatsoever, Zero bolted over into the living room and dove onto the couch, landing on her face in a small pile of plushies. Harmony giggled as she opened the cupboard, taking out two ramen cups before turning on the kettle. She looked over at the kitchen counter, where she had placed Zero's phone to charge as the octoling slept. Pressing on it, she had a few unread messages.

"Hey Zeers!" Harmony said, smiling when she peeked into the living room and saw Zero cozying up in a blanket, "You got some messages on your phone!"

"Are they from Deep Cut?" Zero asked, but was already using her powers to float the phone towards herself.

"Nah," Harmony said, "It's some guy that goes by 'Howyadoken', you know him?"

"Maybe...?" Zero said, unlocking her phone and looking at her messages.

---

Howyadoken: Hey Zeers

Howyadoken: Zeers

Howyadoken: Please Zeers Nectarine is going mad rn

<Zer0 entered the chat>

Zer0: Yeah what is it?

Howyadoken: Oh hey. How was last night?

Zer0: Good. How did you know?

Howyadoken: Know what?

Zer0: What me and Harmony did! Were we too loud?

Howyadoken: OH

Zer0: How was your night? :)

Howyadoken: Fine I guess. Nectarine and I played some Street Fighter VI together. You know about it?

Zer0: No I don't. Do you fight in the streets?

Howyadoken: Kind of

Howyadoken: Anyways Lily Mill and Yon have been tormenting me cause apparently they thought of something fun to do

Howyadoken: But they want you to be there

Zer0: oh okey. What is it?

Howyadoken: Just a meet-up

Zer0: Will you guys be doing food? Harmony doesn't have much

Howyadoken: Sure. Don't know if you'll wanna eat tho

Zer0: What?

Howyadoken: Sorry bout that. This is Nectarine btw

Zer0: Oh hiii :)

Howyadoken: It'll be great trust

Zer0: Why do you have Ken's phone?

Howyadoken: He's with me rn, I just wanted to talk quick

Zer0: About the meet-up?

Howyadoken: Yeah. It's in two days at noon. You in?

Zer0: Sure!

Howyadoken: Perf

<Howyadoken left the chat>

<Zer0 left the chat>

---

"What was that?" Harmony asked, snuggling beside Zero and handing her a ramen cup.

"Just talking bout stuff," Zero smiled, holding onto Harmony's waist with one arm as she used the other to eat her ramen, "We're gonna meet up the day after tomorrow!"

"Oh okay," Harmony giggled, nuzzling her head into Zero's collarbone, "Ah... I love you babygirl."

"Love ya too," Zero said, curling one of Harmony's tentacles in her hand, "You know, Ken is very nice..."

"Is that the guy texting you?" Harmony asked.

"Yeah," Zero nodded, "His friends are strange, but he is very considerate. He is friends with those twins who interrupted our date."

"The green ones?"

"Yep," Zero sighed, slurping a few noodles up, "But Ken is very kind. And his dad, apparently he is a big fan of Angel. I don't know why really, but if his son is so nice I should meet him."

"Oh..." Harmony nodded," I know who you're talking about. There's this old octarian that lives in room 65, some guy called Don. His son visits him sometimes, but I never catch his name."

"Yeah, that's Ken."

"Interesting..." Harmony said, but didn't elaborate. Instead she just clicked on the remote, which she had been using to navigate her streaming services during their conversation. "So... how about we watch something nice? Maybe-"

"Is there a movie about superheroes?" Zero asked, "I want to watch a superhero movie."

"Girl, there are way too many superhero movies," Harmony chuckled, "But yeah, I'd be down for watching Into the Spiderverse again."

"Spiders?" Zero shook her head, "I don't-"

"Nah it's fine," Harmony giggled, "It's Spider-Man. There's only a quick scene with a spider, but the rest is just superhero stuff."

"Cool," Zero said, then added, "Can you cover my eyes when the spider appears?"

"Of course, Zeers," Harmony giggled, laying her head on Zero's chest as she turned on the movie, "I'd be honored to."

Chapter Text

Zero whistled to herself as she stood in front of the redwood door, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. All of the other apartment doors were a simple wooden frame with a metallic interior, and were all painted a plain white. This one, on the other hand, seemed like it was cut right from the tree, a simple slab of reddish wood with a nice gold handle on it.

The slow turning of keys could be heard from the other side, the door clicking a little with each turn. Each time it clicked Zero thought the door would swing open, but it never did.

All sound from behind the door stopped. Zero knocked again.

"Hello?" Zero asked politely, now rocking back and forth on her heels, "This is Zero, sir. You are Don, yes? I wanted to come over to talk about some stuff."

"Ohh..." the man behind the door drawled, finally pulling it open. Zero blinked a bit looking at him, his appearance very unfamiliar to her. He simply smiled, waving his entire body towards the apartment behind him. "Come in, come in."

"Thank you..." Zero said, still staring at him, "Are you a living tentacle?"

Don paused for a moment, then chuckled to himself as he sat back in a leather recliner. His tentacle flopped in his eyes, showing Zero the long, dark green scar that ran across it. Even more apparent than that was the fact that the entire tip had been chopped off, his tentacle tapering to a small plateau instead of the usual point.

"You forget what even octarians look like?" Don asked, wheezing a little as he laughed. Zero nodded a bit, blushing a little.

"Sorry," she said, "I just have so few memories... and octarians are not seen much up here."

"Ain't that the truth," Don sighed, reclining back. Simply looking at his face it shocked Zero that he was Ken's dad, and not the boy's grandfather. "I escaped the clutches of Octavio long ago, under your command no less. Thank you for that."

"No need to thank me!" Zero insisted, a lump forming in her throat, "I am Zero, not Angel! You should thank her."

"Well, I wish I could, but I digress..." Don coughed, "After leaving that cod forsaken place, I went my separate ways from the others. They were almost all octolings, and the few octarians there wanted to go to a small outpost town named Salmon Town. I never understood that, with what those salmonids had done to us, but they were young."

"And then there's my Kenny boy," Don let out a deep breath, "He was just a baby when you saved me the first time, and a little tot by the second. He's the love of my life, but it's hard keepin on in a world that doesn't love you when you got a kid in tow."

"How'd you end up here, then?" Zero asked.

"Came across the City of Anarchy after getting pointers from a lad out in the desert," Don smiled, "I remember his name actually, the nice man. He was Smithy, a strange fellow obsessed with that codamn Salmon Town. Was apparently goin there on some business bout a bandit, though out there the difference between the guilty and innocent is simply word of mouth."

"I've heard of him," Zero said softly, sitting in front of Don's chair, "He's a friend of my friend Melody's mama. I never met him, but I heard he lives on the outskirts of town."

"The outskirts..." Don scoffed, "Frickin bastard, making me walk..."

The octarian stopped, glancing over at Zero and smiling sweetly.

"Actually..." Don said, "Could you please talk to him for me? Just send him a simple thanks, from me."

"Sure!" Zero said enthusiastically, but quickly sat back down, "I-I mean, if you're done with your stories."

"Hm," Don laughed, coughing a little more, "Well, what else you wanna know? You already heard your story, no? Angel, slayer of Death?"

"I heard a bit," Zero shuddered, the images flashing again in her head. A gargantuan salmonid, crying to the heavens as green ink flew everywhere, covering everything...

"Well, you don't need to hear any more then," Don said plainly, resting his eyes, "You're a new woman, you said, so I ain't gonna hang all that Angel stuff above you."

"Oh," Zero smiled, "Thanks, sir."

"No problem," Don chuckled, "And call me Don."

"Thanks," Zero repeated, "Don."

"No problemo," Don wheezed a little, then pointed to the exit with his tentacle, "You can go, get your little legs movin so ya don't get out there by nightfall."

"Get out-?" Zero paused, her thoughts catching up to her, "Oh, yeah, thanks!"

She walked for the door, waving back to him before calmly and quietly shutting it behind her. Don chuckled a bit more to himself, small tears finally breaking from his eyes as he laid back in his chair.

She was alive. She was... alive.

Don tried to collect himself, his tears still flowing as he began to calm down. He let out a deep sigh, laying back in his chair and smiling as he drifted off to sleep, finally satisfied.

---

Zero knocked on the small, metal door, causing an echoing clang that was way too loud. The entire encampment was made of scrounged metals and materials, much like that of the salmonids. Only fitting, she supposed, but it really didn't look that comfy.

"Hello, hello-" Smithy stopped, staring at Zero as he stood in the doorway. He blinked a bit before quickly running back inside, pulling a large cake from a fridge. He looked out to Zero, who was still standing outside. "What're you waiting for? Come in!"

Zero jolted to, walking in slowly as Smithy fiddled with the box the cake was in and placed it on a neat coffee table. He then sat down in a comfy chair, pointing across at one for Zero to sit in. Zero just nodded as she sat down.

"Uh, hi," Zero said, her throat way dryer than she thought it would be, "You are Smithy, yes?"

"Depends who's asking..." Smithy said, a large knife in his hand.

The octoling commander sat there for a second, the air around Zero growing more dense each time he twirled the knife. The silence was deafening.

"PFFT-" Smithy let out a hearty laugh, breaking the silence. Zero let out a small sigh of relief as she watched him cut two slices out of the cake, and then handed one to her on a small paper plate. "Nah, it's fine. I got you going there for a second though, eh?"

"I was not going," Zero said plainly, "Though I was thinking of it."

"Yeah," Smithy's laughter died down a bit, "That's what that means, kinda."

"Oh," Zero blushed, taking a small bite of the cake. It was a nice coffee cake, almost the perfect texture and crumb to it. "Ooh! Thish ish good! Thanksh!"

"Oh, no!" Smithy said, waving his arms in front of him, "I didn't make this! It was a gift from my neighbor, Launcher."

"Neighbor?" Zero asked, "Out here?"

"Yeah," Smithy said, "Well, I guess he's more of a tenant. Lives in a shack nearby with his kid, Pepto. Adorable little thing, by the way, you should meet them."

"Launcher or Pepto?"

"Pepto," Smithy chuckled, "Launcher ain't little at all. Still pretty adorable though."

"Okay..." Zero said, taking another small bite of her coffee cake. They sat there in silence for a second before she sighed, clearing her throat so he could hear her. "By the way, I met Don today."

"Don?" Smithy asked.

"An octarian," Zero explained, "Pretty old, big green scar on his tentacle... He has a son named Ken."

"OH!" Smithy exclaimed, nearly jumping out of his seat, "Oh my cod, how is he doing?"

"Fine," Zero shrugged, "He just wanted me to say thank you for him. You saved him out there, you know."

"Oh, no..." Smithy gritted his teeth a bit, looking away from Zero, "Kid, I saved nobody back then. Tell him it was no problem, though. Don't want him worrying about nothing."

"What did you do?" Zero asked, a strange chill overtaking her.

"I-" Smithy sighed, placing his cake down, "You never heard of Big Iron, have you?"

"I have heard of the song," Zero said, smiling a little, "By Marty Robbins."

"Okay..." Smithy took a deep breath, "But not the outlaw, right?"

"No... why?"

"It ain't important, then," he shook his head. Just then, a small spark lit in his eyes. "Wait, have you heard of The Wanderer?"

"No," Zero shook her head, "If you are not speaking of the song by Dion."

"I'm not," Smithy shook his head, smiling a little as he stood up, "Well, I think you should leave. Launcher should be hanging out in his shack if you wanna meet him, but you don't have to."

"Oh, okay..." Zero said, floating her plate of cake behind her as she walked for the door. Looking back at Smithy, he seemed distraught as she closed the door behind her, a horrible cold consuming his soul.

You are not going to ask more?

Zero blinked, looking around a bit until she realized the voice had come from her own head.

Well?

"I am not going to be rude," Zero said simply, shaking the voice from her head and moving towards a small shack nearby. That was, until she saw a large salmonid walk in front of it, a small pink bottle in his fins.

The Big Shot stopped, turning to look at Zero.

"Oh, hello," he waved, "Are you a friend of Smithy's?"

"I am Zero," she said plainly, "Are you Launcher?"

"Yep," he nodded, "Shell-Launcher of the Big Brigade."

"And Pepto...? Where is he?"

"Oh!" Launcher lumbered towards Zero, then showed the bottle to her. Looking closer, she could see a small pair of eyes swirling around in there. "This is Pepto. Don't worry, they like it in there."

"Aww..." Zero felt a strange feeling in her heart, like this child was her very own. She walked closer, the feeling growing stronger as she placed her finger on the side of the bottle.

Pepto swirled around, only stopping to look at Zero's finger. After a second, they let out a light babble, pressing a tiny tentacle to the side of the bottle. Zero's hearts damn near melted.

"My sweet child..." she whispered, then blinked a bit. She backed away, staring bug-eyed at Launcher. There was an immediate strangeness in her body, like she wasn't supposed to be there. "Sir I'm sorry, but-"

"No..." Launcher said, seemingly inspecting Zero's eyes. She hadn't seen it, but small crescent moons had formed in her eyes when she said that, only appearing for a split second. "That is fine."

"Yeah..." Zero blushed, "I-I gotta go..."

Zero rushed off, Pepto waving at her from their bottle as she left. Launcher just sighed, bringing the baby back into the shack with him for dinner. He'd have some potatoes, while they'd be having a mush of power eggs yet again. Their favorite.

---

It was after dinner by the time Zero got back into the complex, which is why it confused her as to why everybody seemed to be out of their apartments as she floated by in the stairwell. The elevators weren't operational, sure, but there was no reason for everybody to be on the stairs.

Opening the door to her and Harmony's floor, she could see yet another small crowd of people, all passing by her and walking up to floor 6. Zero shook her head, moving over to room 50 and opening the door.

"Harmony...?" Zero called out, "Sorry I was out, but I was doing a favor for Don-"

"Zeers!" Harmony said, seemingly appearing from nothing behind Zero. Zero jumped back a bit, catching her breath as she stared at Harmony. The anemone brought her into a deep hug, small tears flowing down Zero's sweater. "Oh my cod, Zeers..."

"What happened?" Zero asked, hugging her tightly, "Who-"

"It's Don, Zero," Harmony cried, "D-did you-"

"What-" Zero stammered, "What happened to him?"

"He's dead," Harmony said softly into Zero's chest, "He was asleep on his chair, and he just... just died!"

"W-what?" Zero asked.

"He's dead... oh my cod Zeers..."

Zero stepped out into the hallway, rushing back over to the stairwell and opening the door. She glanced down, only to see a long precession of all kinds of inkfish, jellyfish, and the like as they carried a large, black coffin out and into the main lobby. Only one member of the procession stayed in the stairwell, simply looking up at Zero with tears in his eyes.

Ken opened his mouth to speak, but even having Zero simply see him like this was too much. He wiped his face, quickly opening the door and walking out of the stairwell with his arms by his sides.

Chapter Text

Zero was dead silent as she approached the small conglomeration of octolings, most of them too focused on each other to notice her approaching. She glanced around for a second at the small building she was in, which was apparently Mill and Yon's house. They had a neat little two-story house outside of Inkopolis, placed right in between the city and Mount Nantai.

Speaking of them, Mill and Yon were standing beside a box on the central coffee table, beaming smiles on their faces. Zero glanced at them warily, due to the way too similar way they carried themselves. They looked like two puppets operated by the exact same person, their bodies and heads even moving in tandem when talking to the others.

Lilly was currently deep in conversation with the twins, very excited over whatever was in the box. She was so passionate, actually, that Zero could swear she saw a few tears fall from the cyan octoling's eyes.

Nami was sitting on the couch with Nectarine and Ken, but wouldn't be caught dead talking to either of them. He was the first one to see Zero approach, but simply blushed and stayed silent.

Nectarine noticed Zero next, her right arm wrapped around Ken's shoulders as her left beckoned the grey octoling to come closer. She looked like the happiest person in the room, a stark contrast to her boyfriend.

Ken simply eyed Zero as she approached, giving her a small nod before turning back to his girlfriend. She was chewing his ear off with whatever she wanted to talk about, while he stayed as quiet as possible. Zero could feel an intense cold coming from him, like he wasn't even a living being anymore.

"Oh, there you are!" Lilly finally noticed Zero, dragging her over to the large box on the table. Looking at it closer, it was very high-grade, and had small holes in the sides. Zero tried to look in, but Lilly grabbed her before she could. "Nuh-uh! No peeking!"

"Why not?" Zero asked, going to look inside the box again.

"Because-" Mill said, grabbing Zero's arm.

"It's a surprise!" Yon finished his sentence, grabbing Zero's other arm.

Zero shook them both off of her, but did eventually step away from the box and join Nami, Nectarine, and Ken on the couch. Nami's blush grew redder as she sat beside him, his head pointed away but his eyes very much still stuck on her.

"So..." Zero looked over at Ken, but then immediately switched her attention to Mill and Yon, "What is this surprise? Is it a gift?"

"Yes!" Lilly said, sitting between Nami and Zero. She grabbed Zero's hand, her eyes sparkling. "I mean, what else would we get our biggest hero?"

"Look, I'm sorry but-"

"No buts!" Mill and Yon said in tandem. They looked at each other, giggling a bit before also clearing their throats with the exact same timing.

"We just want to give you a nice offering!" Mill said, his hand on the box.

"And what better an offering..." Yon meandered.

"Than a sacrifice!" Mill completed, ripping the box open.

"WHAT!?" Ken shouted, immediately standing up. His eyes darted between Zero and the twins, "What kind of monstrous, disrespectful-"

Ken stopped, his eyes widening as he looked at the whimpering creature that had fallen out of the box. It was a small chum, its eyes watering and a small cut on its lower jaw. It turned to Zero, its buggy eyes staring at her in quiet agony as it continued to whimper.

What the hell?

Zero stared down at the salmonid, then looked back up at the twins, her fists clenching as she slowly stood up. The twins beamed as she looked at them, small crescent moons forming in her eyes.

"Look at you!" Mill exclaimed, "That's the Angel-"

"We always believed in!" Yon finished his sentence, grabbing the salmonid by the fin and lifting it up, "I mean, look at this creature! This MONSTER murdered our parents! Only you can save us-"

"What-" Zero said, her voice completely monotone, "What the shell-"

She looked back down at the salmonid, its eyes glowing a bit as it stared at her. It smiled, holding out a fin to touch her. A strange feeling ignited within her, the same one she had when she saw Pepto and Launcher.

My child...

"What?" Lilly asked, "Are you not-"

"Of course she's not happy!" Ken shouted at the three, "What the fuck have you idiots done!"

"Come on, Ken," Nectarine said, placing a hand on his hearts, "You remember what they did to our people, the horrible-"

"I don't remember anything!" Ken said, pointing at the twins, "And neither do you idiots! What if your parents weren't good people, huh?! What if they deserved to be eaten!?"

"Ken!"

"What-" Mill said, tears forming in his eyes, "What the shell did you just say about mommy and daddy!?"

"I think he thinks we're cowards!" Yon shouted, holding the whimpering salmonid closer to her. She whipped a small knife from her pocket, pressing it to the salmonid's neck. "He's a non-believer!"

"A non-believer of what!?" Ken yelled, "You people are just- I can't believe-"

"SEE!" Lilly said, "He says he can't believe! Isn't that insane, Angel!?"

The entire room went quiet as everybody turned to Zero, who stood there in complete silence. The only sound heard was the light whimpering pleas of the salmonid in Yon's arms, each small cry breaking Zero's hearts into another thousand pieces.

My child... born of my tides...

"Come on, Angel!" Mill shouted, "What do you want us to do!?"

"I want..." Zero said, raising her hands in front of her. She took a deep breath, all of the air in the room completely stopped by the force of Gravity. "I want you to STOP CALLING ME ANGEL!!"

A shockwave of gravitational energy knocked everyone in the room back, Zero standing in the middle with her eyes still lightly glowing. Nectarine had fallen onto Ken's chest, both of them collapsed on the couch. Nami was simply pressed back into the couch, but a small red mark was made where his phone hit him in the face. Mill, Yon, and Lilly were laying on the ground, Lilly's nose now bleeding.

Zero let out a deep breath, now looking down at the chum. It had been unaffected by her outburst, a light garble coming from it as it slithered slowly towards her. It said something in the salmonid tongue, only two words that Zero could actually pick up.

"Tides..." it mumbled, pressing its face into her chest, "Mother."

"What are you-" Mill stood up, but instantly shut up when Zero's head snapped towards him, "I-I mean-"

"We're sorry!" Yon kneeled, bowing to Zero, "W-We didn't mean to, we just wanted to make you happy! You're our-"

"I am no savior of yours," Zero said, her tone like that of a disappointed mother, "Not anymore. Something has happened, and I am not completely sure of what. It dictates I cannot harm this salmonid, and neither can any of you. It... She is my child. A child of my tides. She prays everyday for my protection, and I will not be one to strip it away from her."

"What the shell-" Nectarine said, standing up off of Ken, "What the shell has happened to you, Ang-"

"Angel is dead," Zero said, grabbing the salmonid beside her and holding them like a baby as she made for the door, "And so is Pebs. I am Zero. Nothing more, nothing less. Now if you can excuse me, I must return my child to her waters. Sorry for the damage, by the way."

"No, you can't-!" Lilly shouted, but was interrupted by Zero slamming the door behind her as she left. The cyan octoling shouted in frustration, kicking at the floor. "What the shell was that, you two!?"

"What do you mean by that!?" Mill and Yon shouted in tandem, standing directly beside each other.

"You blew it!" Lilly's eyes were filled with tears, "Angel loved us, and you two just had to go and pull a stupid stunt like this!"

"Her name isn't Angel!" Ken whammed his fist against the wall, a small hole forming where it hit, "Are you idiots deaf, or something!? I can't believe the whole lot of you..."

"What?" Nectarine asked, turning to him, "But Kenny, what about-"

"I'm not even going to begin with you," Ken said, then took a deep breath. He opened his mouth to say something, but opted to stay quiet as he walked over to the door. "I'm leaving. Best you lot get your act together, or there are gonna be some serious consequences."

He slammed the door behind him, shaking the entire room a little bit. Nectarine instantly ran after him, also slamming the door behind her. Mill and Yon both groaned, looking over at Lilly and Nami.

"Out," they said, Mill pointing at Lilly and Yon pointing at Nami, "Now."

"Fine!" Lilly blew a raspberry at the two, "I never wanted to stick around anyways!"

"Y-Yeah!" Nami said, looking back at them as he followed behind Lilly, "You two are a rotten lot!"

Lilly slammed the door behind her, almost hitting Nami in the face. The red octoling sighed, whipping open the door and then slamming it himself. The door then fell off of its hinges, collapsing to the ground as Mill and Yon stared at Nami with death in their eyes.

Nami bolted off as fast as he could, Mill and Yon running to the doorway and shouting at him.

"You better run!" Mill screamed, with Yon quickly adding, "YOU COCK-SUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FA-"

He could hear them shouting, but his ears were too full of wind to hear that last bit. It probably wasn't anything good anyways, so he just decided to ignore it and keep running.

Chapter Text

That was the last time Zero had spoken with any of them, at least for two weeks. She tried her best to never think of it, or maybe just focus on the good bits.

Like how she returned that poor salmonid home, found out that her name was Autumn, and even got to meet her very grateful father. He was a smallfry by the name of Pianosco, and he played a mean viola. Zero had no clue what it was, but it was apparently just a slightly bigger violin. It was very nice meeting him, though she said nothing about what had happened to Autumn at all. She knew how protective salmonids were of their spawn, though she wasn't completely sure why. Anyways, she didn't want to cause a bigger mess than necessary, so she just told him that she found Autumn laying unconscious on the beach.

And then there was Harmony, who was currently helping her with her ponytail. It had gotten harder and harder for her to make it secure, since her tentacles were growing longer, and she honestly just reveled in her girlfriend's company.

After a week of living in the same apartment, they had gotten into a bit of a rhythm. Harmony went out almost every day, leaving Zero to do housekeeping and work on her cooking skills. Sometimes she would go out and do her own things, meeting with friends or just running errands, but most of her time was spent in the apartment.

Once Harmony would come home, They'd share dinner and then either play video games or watch TV together. It was those moments Zero really cherished. Whether she was being destroyed at Street Fighter, which she now understood the hype behind, or if she was just holding Harmony as they watched a cheesy romance movie. It was lovely.

Not as lovely as... other things they sometimes did. That rampant heat had gone away, but it still came back in smaller bursts every now and then. Due to her very absent biology, she could usually just ignore it or satisfy it with something as simple as hugging Harmony a bit tighter.

When it got a bit out of control, they'd do it again. As long as Harmony felt up to it, of course. Zero still had no clue what it was called, as Harmony for some reason was embarrassed to say, so she just called it "pleasure sharing".

"There ya go," Harmony smiled, tying Zero's tentacles back with a strong tug. She sifted her fingers through them, the wet, inky feeling sending shivers throughout her body.  "Your tentacles are so beautiful..."

"Thanks," Zero said, lightly kissing Harmony on the cheek. The anemone blushed, returning the kiss before walking out of the bathroom and getting a glass of water from the fridge. Zero followed her out, opening the fridge and pouring herself a glass of chocolate milk. "By the way, are there any plans you have today?"

"No," Harmony took a sip of water, "Why?"

"Just wondering," Zero said, floating the carton back into the fridge and taking a sip of the chocolate milk, "What movie should we be watching tonight, then?"

"Don't you have physics lessons with Marina?" Harmony asked.

"That's tomorrow," Zero smiled, "I wanted to make your free day our free day."

"Aww..." Harmony said, "If we're talking about movies, then how about Pirates?"

"Pirates?" Zero asked, "But I thought we already watched that? The one with the raggedy man with the dirt jar?"

"No," Harmony giggled, "That's Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm talking Pirates! Band of Misfits. It's a great movie, and it's animated."

"Ooh..." Zero said, "I do like animateds."

"I know," Harmony smirked, then looked at the clock, "But that's for later. What should we-"

*DING! DING!*

Zero giggled, Harmony rolling her eyes as they walked over to the door. Zero opened it, only to be met by an all-too familiar face.

"Uhm... hey..." Nami said, his legs crossed and his gaze at the floor. His eyes widened for a second when he saw Harmony. "I-umm... Am I interrupting something, Zero?"

"You know him?" Harmony asked.

"Yeah," Zero nodded, "Harmony, this is Nami. He is one of Ken's friends."

"Ken's friends?" Harmony raised her eyebrow, "You mean-"

"I-I'm nice, ma'am!" Nami said instantly, clearing his throat a bit, "I-I just want to talk a bit with... Zero."

"Of course!" Zero said, Harmony rolling her eyes again as Zero led Nami towards the living room, "You wanna talk standing up, or on the couch?"

"I'd- umm..." Nami stammered, "I'll stay standing, but you can sit..."

"Damn straight I can," Harmony said, smiling to herself as she slumped back onto the couch, "So, whaddaya want to ask Zeers?"

"I just-" he gulped, "I just want to talk a bit. I know it's selfish, but I've been having a real bad time lately and I just wanna talk about it. If you could be so kind to listen to me, that would be great."

"Oh..." Zero said, sitting down beside Harmony, "Of course, Nami. What's the problem?"

"Well..." he thought for a second, his breath a little heavy, "It kinda started a few weeks ago... with that thing Mill and Yon did. Sorry about that-"

"No need," Zero said, smiling sweetly, "I know you have no bad meanings."

"Thanks..." Nami looked like he was about to cry, "S-So anyways, our whole friend group kinda split, and I just don't know what to do. Lilly's been going mad about you, and it's really concerning."

"Mad how?" Harmony asked.

"Like, she's made a shrine to you," Nami said, "And she's been stealing salmonid texts from Grizzco to find out more about Pebs, or whatever her name is."

"The salmonid Tide Goddess," Zero said, frowning a little, "I know of her."

"Yeah," Nami cleared his throat, "And she's just been going crazy over it. She introduced me to the group, you see, and we've been friends since even before that. She was the only one who really got my... decisions, you know?"

He pointed down at his choice of clothing, his tight leggings and short skirt. Something about that simple gesture made Zero's hearts crack a bit, and she quickly looked over at Harmony in disbelief.

"And then the others-" Nami choked a little, "Ken and Nectarine broke up, and she's blaming it on you, of all people! I wanted to talk to Ken, but he hasn't been answering my texts... a-and I have no clue where he is!"

"Oh, Nami..." Zero said, standing up and holding out her arms. Nami ran into them, sobbing a little as he continued.

"A-and the twins..." he said, his throat raspy, "I tried talking to them, I even got my Ba to give me some money to p-pay for the damage to their house, b-but they just c-called-"

He broke down, his fingers digging into Zero's sides as he wailed. Harmony stepped over, slowly patting his back as she began humming. Zero joined her, the two humming a quiet melody as Nami cried into Zero's sweater.

"It's okay..." Zero whispered, "It's okay..."

"No it's not!" Nami cried, "Everything is falling apart! W-Why did I ever agree to any of this?!"

"Any of what?" Zero asked kindly.

"I-I shouldn't have listened to Lilly..." he said, calming down marginally, "B-But when I heard that Nectarine met you, in person, I just had to! Angel saved my mom, and I know she isn't you but-"

"I get it," Zero said, holding him at arms-length and looking at him, "I get that you are loving of Angel. She was a great woman. I am just happy you are talking to me, even if you have nothing to be apologizing for."

"Y-Yeah..." he sniffled, his face a bright red, "Could you please find Ken, by the way? I'm just worried of what he's done with himself after he broke up with Nectarine. It was only last week I found out his dad was dead, too. H-He didn't invite anybody to the funeral, but I was there."

"Why?" Harmony asked, which she regretted the instant she saw his expression deflate.

"I-I just-" his eyes began to fill with tears again, "I was visiting mom. She's buried right next to Dada and the lot where Ba's gonna go when she dies. Though Ba keeps saying that she'll outlive the grave itself."

He chuckled a little, his expression lightening.

"Well..." Zero said, letting go of Nami, "How about you go see your Ba, then. By the way, does she make good Onaga cuisine? Ba is an Onaga word, correct?"

"Yeah..." Nami smiled, "But no. She's part of the old Yaki family of Inkopolis, relatives of the Hohojiro clan. My Dada was Onaga, though I never got to meet him. Ba still makes an amazing chai, though, and she would love to have you over."

"We would love to come over," Harmony said, smiling sweetly at him, "Speaking of, do you want to stay for lunch? We'd be glad to-"

"N-No," Nami shook his head, smiling a little wider, "I gotta check on my Ba anyways. She's been lonely lately. Seriously, she'd love to see you both."

"We'll make sure to visit!" Zero said, both her and Harmony waving as Nami left. She smiled, though there was still a small look of concern in her eyes; a small sigh as she let out the breath she had been holding.

Harmony moved back over to the kitchen, sighing a little as she opened the fridge.

"What should we have for lunch?" she asked Zero, who was soon to follow her, "We don't got much... might as well go out."

"Yeah..." Zero said, a small light-bulb forming above her head, "May I suggest somewhere to go?"

"Sure," Harmony said, shutting the fridge, "Where?"

"It is on the outskirts of town," Zero explained, "A salmonid named Launcher lives there. He makes food for himself and his child, and I bet he would enjoy the company."

"Sounds good," Harmony said, chuckling a bit to herself, "You know, with the amount of friends you have, maybe we won't ever have to pay for food again!"

"What?" Zero asked, "You don't like my cooking?"

"No, that's not-" but Harmony stopped when she saw the huge smirk on Zero's face. She laughed a little, hugging Zero firmly before grabbing a bottle of soda for the trip. "Codammit... let's get going!"

Chapter Text

"So... how long have you been living here?" Harmony asked, taking a second to swallow her mouthful of meatloaf, "With Smithy, I mean."

"Not long," Launcher smiled sweetly, carefully feeding Pepto their mush of power eggs one small spoonful at a time, "It has been very nice, though. And really, it is the only place I can be. I am sure the other salmonids would not approve of my taking in of this child."

"Where's their parents?" Zero asked, sauce dripping from her mouth, "They gotta have parents, right?"

"I do not know," Launcher shook his head, his tone somber, "They are either dead, or they left this poor child out to die in the vast expanse of the sea. The little thing was very lucky to have been in their bottle..."

Pepto gargled, giggling a little as a small tentacle shoved some more mush into their mouth. They looked up at Launcher with huge eyes, the salmonid smiling as their gazes met.

"Who would do that?" Zero asked, a little annoyed, "Who would leave their own child to die!?"

"A monster," Launcher said, carefully lifting Pepto up and holding them in his fins, "But I cannot say that I am ungrateful to be Pepto's father. It is something that I now feel I was always meant to be. A nurturer, rather than a warrior."

"I get it," Harmony said, wiping a bit of drool from her bottom lip, "I always wanted to be a big music star when I was younger. But when I got there, up to my peak... I kinda didn't like it at all. So I decided to retire so I could work for Barry at Hotlantis, and it's been great."

"That is the store, correct?" Launcher asked, holding his fin over Pepto so the tiny inkling could hold onto it with their tentacles, "I was wondering if I could get something for Pepto from there. They don't have much to keep them occupied, and I don't know if my mediocre singing will last."

"Oh, sure!" Harmony smiled, taking another bite of meatloaf, "What would you like-"

"How about plushies?" Zero suggested immediately, looking between Harmony and Launcher, "I like plushies..."

"Sounds nice," Launcher chuckled, the table shaking slightly, "Oh, sorry. That Smithy is a nice man but he really does make everything by himself..."

"No issues," Harmony said, "Speaking of making stuff yourself, this meatloaf is nuts good. Seriously, how did you even learn to make meatloaf this..."

"Yummy!" Zero said, taking a large chunk out of her piece and shoving it in her mouth.

"It's just good cooking," Launcher shrugged, "Fresh ingredients, lots of love... All the things a good dish needs."

"Fresh ingredients?" Harmony looked down at the loaf, "Actually, what is this made of? Meat is a pretty broad term..."

"I think you'd rather not know," Launcher chuckled, which only got him odd glances from the two.

"Is it sal-"

"It is not salmonid," Zero said, staring down at the meat, "Of that much I am sure. Cannibalism is not supported by the salmonids, it is only consumption by other species that they worship."

"Right you are!" Launcher laughed, placing Pepto back in their small bottle, "That's a very common misconception, so I wouldn't blame you for not knowing! How do you know, by the way?"

"I uhh..." Zero blinked, "I just like salmonids a lot. Like Smithy."

"That is nice," Launcher nodded, smiling warmly. He then looked around for a second, before leaning in. "By the way, may I ask a question of you? It is about octolings."

"Oh, sure," Zero said, "Though Harmony may know more than me. I am not the brightest."

"Aw don't say that..." Harmony said, holding Zero's hand in hers, "Just ask us the question and we'll see if we can answer it."

"Cool..." Launcher said, "It is just that I want to know... Is there some kind of scarring ritual among octolings?"

"I don't think so..." Harmony answered.

"Are the scars green?" Zero asked.

"No," Launcher shook his head, "They are slightly darker than his own skin, possibly due to his black ink. I don't know why he has them, and he'll never answer when I ask."

"Well, they could just be normal scars," Harmony posited, "There are plenty of embarrassing ways to get scars."

"No, that shouldn't be it," Launcher shook his head, "These scars are very deliberate, not at all like the one's warriors return from the battlefield with."

"Where are the scars?" Zero asked.

"They are on his chest," Launcher motioned to his chest, "They are large and T-shaped. I do not know if they are there for any ritual purposes, perhaps a military thing?"

"I don't think so..." Zero said, but then shrugged, "But I do not remember much of it."

"Anyways," Harmony said, "Probably best to just not bother him. If he's embarrassed about it, then no reason to make him uncomfortable."

"Yeah, sorry," Launcher said, standing up and pushing his large chair in, "He is just a very reserved man, I guess. I really only have conversation with him, so perhaps I am just going insane."

"Oh come now," Harmony giggled, standing up, "You're completely fine, dude."

"I know," Launcher smirked, stretching a little, "Are you two leaving?"

"If that's fine, yeah," Zero said, standing out of her seat, "I have some music to catch up on. We do little listening parties together!"

"That sounds nice," Launcher smiled, then sighed, "Well, don't let me stop you then. It was nice talking with you two!"

"We'll make sure to stop by again!" Harmony waved as she grabbed Zero's hand and walked out of the small shack, "Thank you!"

"No problem!" Launcher waved, the door closing behind the women as they left, "See you soon!"

Chapter Text

It was early in the morning when Zero heard the knock on her door. Far too early, in her opinion, but then again she was the only one awake at that point. She didn't know why her body had decided to wake up so early; it usually hated mornings.

She was sat on the couch when she heard it, a light rapping against the blank white door. She sighed, floating lazily towards it as she fiddled with her ponytail so it didn't look like an absolute mess. She turned the knob with her powers, trying to be as quiet as possible so she didn't wake up Harmony. She opened the door, only to see nobody there.

She stopped, dropping to the floor and looking both ways outside the door. Nobody was in the hallways...

Zero shrugged. It was probably just some kid playing a prank on her. She'd never had it happen to her before, but Harmony said it was pretty common. Thinking on that, she actually smiled. That kid had no clue of her powers, of all the stuff she could do to them if she caught them. Stuff she could do, but never would do.

Look down.

Zero blinked, subconsciously following her mind's order and looking down at her feet. It was then when she noticed the small letter, a red envelope with a big name written in cursive. A name that made her eyes bulge from her head like a crazed salmonid during a Glowfly swarm.

Ken.

Zero snatched the envelope as quickly as possible, her powers only slightly slamming the door behind her as she floated back over to the couch and wrapped herself in a blanket. She then floated her clownfish plushie over and into her arm, a small sense of dread encroaching.

She stared at the envelope for some time, the feeling of dread quickly overwhelming her. Her fingers trembled as she carefully opened it, though she honestly had no clue why her body was so on-edge. Ken was a nice kid, she knew that much. There was nothing to worry about!

So why was her throat closing, leaving her gasping for air?

Zero coughed, opening the envelope and pulling out a long letter. She unfolded it, almost dropping it as her hands shook. She took a deep breath, and began to read:

---

Hey Zero,

 

This is Ken, though that much should be obvious. I've been having a hard time as of late, and I know you have too, so I'll try to make this quick. It's been a very tough year for me. Even before Nectarine found you, I was kind of feeling that magic between us disappear. It felt horrible, cause she has always been so loving, and it broke my heart to break up with her. But it had to happen. I cannot stand by those people any longer. Those monsters who use your good name as an excuse to do horrible things. I know that you know I have little to do with any of that, but I kind of never knew until recently just how much you knew.

 

I did some research. Research on Pebs, salmonid goddess of the tides. I honestly have to thank Lilly for stealing all of those Grizzco books and letting me read some. Anyways, it wasn't long until I found out that Pebs was a gravity-manipulator. Then, I found that the salmonids had apparently found a large meteor with her power thriving in it, and then gave a small piece of that meteor to some, as Grizzco calls them, "Unknown Benefactors". I'm sure you know all of that, so it's silly to say, but I just want you to know what I know.

 

I also learned more about Gravity. Gravity is a force that pulls not only physical objects together, but also people. It is synonymous with Fate, in a way, which means the manipulation of Gravity can lead to the manipulation of Fate. Honestly, seeing how Space and Time are so intertwined, it only makes sense. I know you would never try to mess with Fate, but my point is that everything you do, everyone you meet, has already been written. I was meant to meet you. I was meant to see the actions of my so-called "friends" and get myself away from them.

 

I guess that, in a cruel twist of fate, you still are a savior, whether you want to be or not. But I don't want to hang that over you. That is why I'm leaving.

 

I don't know where to, but I'm leaving Splatsville and going as far away as possible. I need to find my own path, find a Fate uncontrolled by anybody around me. Perhaps if Fate permits it, we will meet again, but for now I just need some space. I need to find out who I am.

 

Lastly, because I know you've been thinking of it, you have never killed a soul. You are not Angel, and you are not Pebs. You are Zero, and you should never hold yourself down for their actions.

 

As for my father, he was an old man. A really old man. I don't blame you for his death any more than I blame myself. At least you were able to be the last person he talked to, an angel of sorts before he took his trip to the afterlife. For all of his life he had wanted to actually meet you, get to know you, and even though you are no longer Angel I am sure you gave him just what he had always needed.

 

Anyways, that should be it. Sorry for making this so long, but I kinda needed to get all of that off of my chest. I should be gone by now, and hopefully Lilly will have actually dropped the letter off outside your door.

 

Thank you, and I hope to see you again,

 

Ken

 

---

Zero stared at the letter for what felt like hours, her eyes slightly glazed and watery. She flipped it over, but there was nothing on the backside. Without a word, without a thought, she folded it back up and gingerly slipped it back in the envelope. She let out a deep breath and wiped her eyes, her stomach twisted into a knot.

The bedroom door creaked open, Harmony slumping out with an oversized Tee on and her tentacles all muddled. Her clownfish was idly floating beside her, its expression as blank as usual.

"Heya-" Harmony stopped, her expression deflating as she looked at the quivering ball of an octoling on the couch. She walked over and sat beside Zero, her hands going under the blanket and holding onto Zero's thigh. "Babygirl, what's wro-"

Zero grabbed Harmony, pulling her into a deep hug. Harmony patted the octoling on the back, inky tears streaming from their eyes and staining her white Tee. She breathed slowly, silently urging Zero to do the same.

"It's okay..." Harmony soothed, pressing light kisses onto Zero's cheek, "It'll be fine... what happened?"

"I-" Zero choked, biting her lip and burying her face in Harmony's collar, "Mmmh!"

They sat there for a minute, Zero screaming words into Harmony's chest. They were unrecognizable to the anemone, but they carried much the same tone and earthiness of the speech Launcher occasionally broke into.

"Wemi, waba!" Zero sighed, taking a few deep breaths. She looked up at Harmony, who wiped at her eyes. As their gazes locked, she could feel a great warmth within her body, and could even see the tips of her fingers glow a dim pink. She hugged Harmony deeper, hard breaths falling against her girlfriend's back. "I love you."

"I love you too, Zeers," Harmony said, inspecting the octoling's tentacles. Much like the tips of her fingers, the tips of her tentacles had also become a light pink. It was a color almost identical to Harmony's own tentacles, now that she thought about it.

"Yeh..." Zero chuckled, "But I love you more."

"No," Harmony giggled, "I love YOU more!"

"Nuh-uh!" Zero wagged her finger disapprovingly, "I love you more!"

"Agree to disagree?" Harmony sighed, pushing one of Zero's tentacles off of her eye.

"Sure!" Zero said, then laid deep into Harmony's shoulder. She giggled a bit more to herself, only to whisper once more to her girlfriend. "But I still love you more."

Chapter Text

Zero smiled reservedly as she snuggled into Harmony's arms, the anemone fiddling with the remote as she looked for the perfect scary movie for them to watch. Zero had protested against it the entire day, but Harmony was stubborn as a rock. Friday the 13th was apparently the spooky day, and having it during October apparently made it more spooky.

Now, Zero could handle spooky. She loved spooky. Jack-o-lanterns, comically adorable spiders, human skeletons... they were all spooky, but that was the thing. Spooky in her eyes was a combination of scary and goofy. It even makes sense with how the word is spelled! Scary + Goofy = Spooky.

And Zero couldn't handle scary. That was why she was shivering a little, cautious of every move her girlfriend made. She hoped to cod that it wasn't a super scary movie, and just a moderately scary one. She also REALLY hoped it didn't have spiders in it. She hated spiders. It was just something about their legs that greatly unnerved her.

Seriously, who needs eight legs!?

"Here we go," Harmony hummed a small tune, one which Zero recognized. It was the theme to Goosebumps, an old human show. It fell more in the spooky ballpark, and Zero actually enjoyed it quite a bit. "How do you feel about... hmm..."

Harmony resumed her scrolling, shaking her head on occasion. Zero looked at the TV, watching titles like The Ring, It, The Thing, and The Human Centipede... Three of them, to be exact.

Zero nearly puked just thinking about it. She already hated spiders, but centipedes!? And THREE movies about them, no less! What kind of monstrous sadists were these humans?

"Okay here," Harmony said, finally finding a movie to watch, "This one's an old Hollywood classic. The Flesh Pits. It's kinda bad, but that's why I think you'll love it."

"So it's a spooky movie?" Zero asked, looking at the thumbnail for the movie. It seemed very gross-out, but even from the thumbnail she could tell it had some really bad special effects.

"Yeah," Harmony chuckled, "I love watching bad horror movies, seriously."

"I bet," Zero chuckled, snuggling closer to Harmony. She laid her head near the anemone's, her face in Harmony's tentacles. "Thank you... I didn't want a scary movie."

"No problem Zeers," Harmony said, turning the movie on, "Just enjoy."

---

Wow. Harmony was right.

It was bad. REAL bad. But like in a fun way, Zero thought. The characters were really stupid, and the special effects were even worse than how she thought they would be. There were a few parts that still grossed her out, like when that one guy got eaten by a weird flesh wall. It reminded her of the metro, but for what reason she had no clue.

Harmony laughed as the credits rolled, turning off the TV and snuggling up with Zero. Zero giggled, falling back into a small pile of plushies and Harmony landing atop her.

"You enjoy it?" Harmony asked.

"Yeh," Zero smiled, "It was really goofy!"

"What did I say?" Harmony laughed, "I swear, that is one of the best and worst movies that those humans ever made!"

"Yeah!" Zero agreed, hugging Harmony, "That Johnny Cage guy must've felt silly for acting in it!"

"Pffft!" Harmony snorted, pressing some light kisses onto Zero's cheek, "Really, I wonder how much they payed that guy. The only good actor in the entire movie, honestly. Even if he is just a wannabe Jean-Claude Van Damme."

"Heh..." Zero said, "Yeah. Thank you, that was very fun!"

"No probs Zeers," Harmony kissed her again, "Come on, you think I'd really show you a scary movie?"

"If it was an excuse to cuddle more, yes," Zero joked.

"You right, you right," Harmony giggled, holding Zero's hands in hers. A small spark flashed in her eyes, her mouth relaxing a bit. "Cod, I love you..."

"I love you too-"

Zero stopped, interrupted by Harmony's lips on hers. She smiled, wrapping her hands around Harmony's head and pulling her closer. Her mind was on fire, and her smile only grew wider the longer they kissed.

Maybe she wasn't so opposed to horror movies after all...

Chapter Text

Zero laid on her couch, legs outstretched and one arm wrapped around a large shark plush. Above her head she floated the Deep Cut plushies Harmony had recently bought for her, making it look like the plushies were alive. She giggled to herself as she threw the shark plush into the air, flipping the Shiver one around and then landing her on it. It was definitely goofy, and she wouldn't be caught dead doing this around other adults, but it was just so much fun! Maybe she should do this with Melody...

Zero's phone buzzed. The octoling instantly perked up, though didn't get up as she used her powers to float her shellphone towards her. She picked it up, her smile widening when she saw that Harmony had texted her. That smile instantly disappeared, however, when she saw what had actually been sent.

---

Chirpy: Hey Zeers. I've been having a bad day today, could you please drop by?"

Zer0: Of course!! What's wrong? :(

Chirpy: I dunno

Chirpy: I just need you here right now

Zer0: I'll be right there

---

Zero leapt out of bed, her plushies falling on the ground as she ran into her bedroom to get dressed. She quickly whipped on her hoodie and beanie, and put on her sweatpants before she could forget them.

She then rushed back out into the living room and cracked open the window. Using her powers, she floated her shoes into the room from the door and put them on. She looked back, making sure to tidy up her plushies and wave goodbye to them before climbing out of the window.

She closed the window behind her, and then flipped gravity on herself so she could walk down the side of the building. Once she was about three feet away from the ground she flipped it back, only to fall face-first onto the pavement. She seethed, grey marks on her hands and her face sore. She shook it off, though, and began running towards Hotlantis. It wasn't very far away, but she still wanted to be over as quickly as possible.

Zero was heaving by the time she got to the store, her lack of exercise really catching up to her. She gasped for air as she opened the door, the light dinging of the bell filling the mostly empty store. There were only a few people in the store, and all of them had a differently strange air to them.

One of them was obviously Spectrum, the giant mantis shrimp very visible despite their perfect John Cena cosplay. They didn't seem keen on bothering Zero for now though, so she just decided not to worry about them. They were talking with a small inkling that she couldn't recognize about some kind of warranty or something.

The only other person she could see was a smallfry with a bright red toolbox on his head, standing by the counter. Zero approached him, peering over the counter to see if Harmony was laying behind it. She wasn't.

"Oh, hey," the smallfry said, waving at Zero. He paused for a second, but then just smiled at her. "You're Zero, are you not? Harmony told me about you."

"Yes," Zero nodded, looking around the store again, "Where is Harmony?"

"Probably in the back storage room," he shrugged, then held up his fins, "By the way, could you please lift me up to the counter? I can't exactly climb up... well, anything, really."

"Oh, yeah," Zero said, floating the smallfry onto the counter, "Who are you?"

"Toolbox!" he exclaimed, whacking the toolbox on his head with a drum stick, "Actually my full title is Toolbox, Wrench of the Great Mechanic, but you don't need to call me that."

"Great Mechanic?" Zero asked, "I've never heard of one of those..."

"Just an old title," he shrugged, "Had it way back when I did... less desirable work. How are you doing, by the way?"

"Fine," Zero said, then her eyes widened a bit, "Oh, but Harmony! I gotta go!"

She ran behind the counter, Toolbox saying a small goodbye to her in salmonid before she whipped open the storage room door and closed it behind her.

The storage room was honestly astonishing, and Zero could get lost in everything she saw as she walked through in search of Harmony. There were so many piles of boxes, and within those boxes there were so many things. Piles upon piles of plushies, capsule machines, pencils, keychains. Honestly everything Zero could ever think of, and more.

"Harmony?" she called out, her hands around her mouth, "Where are you? This is a very big room!"

"Over here..."

Zero turned around, glancing around a pile of haphazardly stacked boxes to see her girlfriend laid down on the ground behind them. The anemone's face looked dead, her iPod placed lazily in her hand and an earbud in only one of her ears. Zero laid down beside her, wrapping her hand around her girlfriend's.

"What's wrong?" Zero asked, softly combing through Harmony's tentacles, "I was scared that-"

"It's nothing," Harmony said plainly, gripping her iPod in her hand, "I was just being stupid."

"No you weren't!" Zero insisted, "You're not stupid! Did somebody call you stupid?"

"Nobody called me stupid," Harmony chuckled dryly, "I just... I don't feel comfortable right now."

"Don't feel comfortable how?" Zero asked, placing her hand on Harmony's belly, "You eat something really bad?"

"No..." Harmony whimpered, turning towards Zero and hugging her, "I'm just... I don't feel like I should be here."

"Of course you should be here," Zero soothed, then stated plainly, "You work here."

"I mean here in general," Harmony said, her breath heavy, "It feels like my nervous system, all of my feelings and insides... they want to leave my body. They don't agree with my brain, or something."

"You're cold..." Zero observed, wrapping her arms tighter around Harmony, "We should go home. You need a blanket and some plushies. You want me to make some Hot Choco too? I promise not to spill any on the couch this time."

"I-I can't-" Harmony shivered, "Somebody's gonna get mad-"

"Just close the store for the day," Zero stated, "Barry never checks in, and if he did I bet he'd be fine with you taking some time off."

"Y-Yeah..." Harmony sniffled, her body still ice cold, "Thanks."

"No problem," Zero gave her a small kiss, "I love you."

"I love you," Harmony smiled, then flopped on the ground, "Can you carry me? My legs don't wanna move."

"Okay lazybones," Zero giggled, floating Harmony into her arms and holding her close as she carried her out of Hotlantis and all the way back home.

Chapter Text

Zero shot up, instantly sure of where she was. The green grass beneath her feet, the floating table just a few feet away, and the holy man staring down at her from his high seat in the sky. She floated up to meet him, a quick glance telling her that he was the only other person there.

"Took you long enough to come back," Pucci said, his attention fully on Zero, "Were you scared of judgement, perhaps?"

"And why would you say that?" Zero asked, already kind of annoyed by the priest's demeanor, "I am not afraid of you."

"Not me, no..." Pucci chuckled, "But I do know one thing you are positively terrified by. Your own mind. I wouldn't be surprised if all of this fell away in even a few minutes, your own senses ready to assault you with yet another nightmare."

"How sweet," Zero scowled, taking a small sip of some of the tea in front of her. It was all cold by now, but it was better than nothing. "Where did everybody else go, by the way? Or is my mind just punishing me for pleasure-sharing a few times?"

"Now now, let's not be crass," Pucci said, picking up the Bible and turning its pages, "And I see no problem with your 'pleasure-sharing', as silly as that name is. You are your own person, and it is not my right to interfere in your personal matters."

"Wait..." Zero paused, "Excuse me?"

"You are excused."

"N-No I mean-" Zero took a breath, "I heard your voice, after I pleasure-shared-"

"Had sex," Pucci corrected her. He looked back at her, his expression sobering slightly as he saw the completely serious look on her face. "Sorry. You may continue."

"Thanks," she said, coughing a little, "It's just- I swore you spoke in my head, after Harmony and I... after we did that. It sounded exactly like you, and we had that argument and everything! Was that not you?"

"Nope," Pucci said, then placed down his book, "Speaking of that argument, I am sorry. I thought I was being the bigger man there, but obviously I was being far too rude. Especially for this being your own mind. Sorry."

"Oh..." Zero smiled, relaxing a little, "Thanks!"

"No problem..." Pucci chuckled, taking a sip of his tea, "Though that is strange. Perhaps that voice was just your subconscious, but if it sounded just like me I am not sure. It could have been-"

Everything went to black. Zero began falling. She let out a loud, echoing yell as she fell further and further, eventually being able to stop herself in mid-air. The ground seemed to come up to meet her, which caused her to trip and fall on her butt. She groaned, rubbing it a little as she stood back up. She looked around, but couldn't see anything.

"What the-"

"Hi, Big Sis."

Zero froze, not even turning to see the young octoling girl behind her. She knew the very shape of the octoling's face, the exact hue of her pitch-black tentacles. That sinister smile that followed her even in her childish form, and that spine-tingling voice of hers.

Lucy.

"Seems like I'm finally back here, huh?" Lucy said, appearing right in front of Zero. Zero instinctively shot out her arms, pushing Lucy a few feet away. She just chuckled, not even faltering slightly as she continued on. "Thought the doctor resurrecting me could finally get me out of the cod-forsaken place. Ugh, that's what I get for believing in somebody else..."

"Resurrected?" Zero perked up, looking at her younger sister, "What do you mean?"

"The metro," Lucy spat, "This loser called Derek ended up bringing me back from that pile of goo you left me as. Motherfucker just ended up making me a bigger pile of goo, the idiot."

"W-Wha-?"

"And now I'm dead again," Lucy smiled somberly, "So I'm back here, I guess. Hi."

"Uhh..." Zero paused, her hand seemingly waving on its own, "Hi...?"

"Yeah," Lucy let out a small raspberry, sitting down cross-legged on the floor. It was so jarring, seeing her as what could be an eight or even seven year old. "So, what's been up with you?"

"Why do you care?" Zero asked, but then added, "I've been fine."

"Better than fine," Lucy snorted, "Got yourself a real nice piece there, don't'cha?"

"If by 'piece' you mean Harmony, then yes," Zero nodded.

"Yeah..." Lucy said, "I never really got all of that stupid love bullshit. Angel had it too. Just another thing to distract her from me..."

"What do you mean?" Zero asked, sitting down beside the child, "Angel loved you, did she not?"

"Pffft!" Lucy laughed dryly, "Fuck no! Do you think I'd kill her if she loved me?! She was always finding ways to ignore me, and never gave me any credit for anything I ever did! And then she had to go kill Horrorboros, and she became even more full of herself! I..."

Lucy looked up at Zero, small tears forming in her eyes. Before Zero could even react, her sister had her arms wrapped around her, weeping into her sweater. Zero let out a deep sigh, rubbing Lucy's back and humming a little to calm her down. She didn't know exactly what she was humming, but it was something Harmony would hum to her whenever she felt like crying.

"I-I just..." Lucy said, choking up, "I don't know why I wanted to... you're so codamn nice!! Why are you so codamn nice!? She was so full of herself, such an... insufferable head-ass! But you, I wanted to kill you and you're hugging me!"

"Yeah..." Zero said, filing her fingers through Lucy's tentacles, "You're crying. And people who are crying need lots of hugs."

"Shut up..." Lucy said, but didn't sound mad at all. Simply defeated. "Shut up... you stupid big... sis..."

"Just let it all out..." Zero soothed, patting Lucy on her head, "Angel's gone now, she can't hurt you."

"Sh-Shut..." Lucy cried, "Shut up!"

Zero frowned a little, continuing to hold onto Lucy as she cried more into her big sis's sweater. Zero could feel Lucy let out a deep sigh, the young octoling then looking up at her. She just smiled a little, Lucy scoffing in response but still smiling back.

"Can you not wake up?" she asked, her voice very much that of a child now, "When you wake up, I go away. I don't want to go back."

"To The Promised Land?" Zero asked.

"Mh-hm..." Lucy nodded, her eyes threatening to fill with tears again.

"I..." Zero sighed, "I have to wake up. I can't control that. Do you think you'll come back here, when I go back to sleep?"

"M-Maybe..." Lucy said weakly.

"Then how about we just talk when I'm asleep, okay?" Zero proposed, ruffling Lucy's tentacles a bit, "Maybe I can even introduce you to my tea party friends! It'll be fun!"

"Y-Yeah..." Lucy sniffled, then wriggled herself out of Zero's arms, "Th-thanks... for all of this."

"No problem," Zero smiled, "Sometimes, all you need to do is cry, and then you feel better. Harmony taught me that one."

"She's smart," Lucy giggled, then looked upwards.

Above them was a large, approaching light, only about a few yards away from consuming them. Lucy glanced back over at Zero and sighed, a huge smile forming on her face.

"Guess you're waking up," she said, rocking a bit on her heels, "I'll see you later, then?"

"Of course!" Zero said, smiling kindly at her, "I'll see ya real soon!"

"Thanks, Big Sis."

"No problem," Zero then quickly added, "Little Sis."

The white light then finally consumed them, all of her dreams fading into the nothingness as she woke up. The only thing that seemed to remain was Lucy's face, beaming with a smile that she was sure not even Angel had ever seen before.

"Bye-!" Lucy waved at Zero, just before everything faded to white.

Chapter Text

Zero awoke in the middle of the night, her head aching and her ears ringing. She wasn't having a nightmare; far from it actually. She was having the nicest tea party with her mind friends, and had actually been having a pretty neat conversation with Pucci about how much gravity powers should be used for convenience. They had agreed that using them for convenience was fine as long as it wasn't to flex or to hurt others.

She blinked for a second, recorrecting her thoughts. It was only recently that she noticed her mind liked to trail, something she learned during a particularly intriguing lesson with Marina and Pearl...

Zero shook her head, screaming at herself in her head. Even when thinking of trailing off, she was trailing off! All she should focus on now was going back to sleep, and cuddling extra close to Harmony...

"Ehh... mmmh..."

Zero paused for a moment, feeling Harmony's cold hand on her arm. The anemone was laying in a fetal position, eyes tightly held shut and small whimpers escaping her closed mouth. Zero shimmied closer to her girlfriend, and wrapped her arms around Harmony's head.

"Hey hey..." Zero said softly, sure that Harmony was already awake. Harmony never had nightmares, and really never had dreams for that matter. Zero used to envy her a lot for that. "What's going on? I'm here..."

"I..." Harmony croaked, her throat dry, "I'm sorry, it's stupid."

"Don't say that, love," Zero soothed, rubbing her hands through her girlfriend's tentacles, "Nothing you say is stupid. You're very smart, you know."

"Mmmh..." Harmony whimpered, a blush crawling up her face. Her legs were moving seemingly on their own, moving back and forth in a panicked beg for Zero's touch. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry," Zero reassured her, wrapping her legs around the anemone's. Just feeling her body, Zero could tell she was overheating. Though interestingly enough, her hands were still almost frigid. "What's the problem?"

"I was just-" Harmony whimpered some more. Zero didn't want to admit it, but all those little noises were so adorable to her. "I love you so much."

"Aww," Zero gave her a small kiss, "I love you too."

"I just..." Harmony trailed, her voice a mere whisper, "You're so perfect. So perfect to me all of the time. And I'm super gross and perverted and-"

"No you're not," Zero said, pulling her girlfriend closer, "You are super clean and pretty and not at all perverted, whatever that means."

"Yeah," Harmony chuckled dryly, her breaths coming out in short bursts, "I just- I was so horrible and gross and bad and disgusting..."

"What happened?" Zero asked, pulling Harmony's face up to hers. Staring into the anemone's rainbow eyes, they looked even more beautiful than ever. "Was somebody mean to you at work today?"

"N-No..." Harmony whimpered, seemingly melting in Zero's hands, "I just... I'm so indecent."

"No you're not!" Zero insisted, "You are the most decent and most pretty and the cutest person ever!"

"Y-Yeah..." Harmony whimpered, her face a bright pink. She was like a hot blanket now, which only made Zero find her even cuter. "I love it when you call me that."

"Cute?" Zero said, smirking a little, "Well, that's because you are the cutest little anemone ever~"

"Mmmh..." Harmony whimpered, though perhaps this time it was a really light moan. Her voice was melodic even when she was such a mess, which nearly made Zero's hearts melt. "Please, please call me that again."

"You're adorable," Zero said sweetly, her hands combing through Harmony's beautiful tentacles, "You're the cutest person to ever exist, and I am so very lucky that you are so cute for me."

"Ah... Ah..." Harmony could barely breathe, her hips jutting back and forth on their own. She moaned a bit louder, her angelic voice filling the room. It was one of those moments that she'd told Zero about. An organism, or something like that. "Ahh... I love you so much..."

"I love you more," Zero said, pressing another kiss onto the anemone's forehead, "Now, do you think you can sleep?"

"Mh-hm..." Harmony let out a deep sigh, collapsing into Zero's arms, "You're so perfect..."

"I'm not perfect," Zero said, holding her close, "But thank you. Now sleep, please."

Chapter Text

It was a lazy day. A comfy day. Zero just laid in mid-air, her plushies floating around her as she hummed to the magical music coming from the boombox Harmony kept in their closet. The anemone usually liked playing heavy metal on it, what with it being a boombox and all, but Zero would listen to damn near anything through it.

Today, as she curled her Horrorboros plush around her arm, she listened to Against the Kitchen Floor by Will Wood. She had heard none of his music before, and in all honesty found out about this song from a cool video Harmony showed her. She was quickly entranced by it, though, and she hummed along as it played on loop during her lazy day.

Her phone began ringing, so she floated it up to herself. She picked it up, but it was just another group call that Harmony told her to never take part in. These sauce rating competitions seemed to get tense, from what she had heard. She didn't even get it. The best sauce was obviously buffalo. It killed her tongue, but the stingy, fiery feeling of it never failed to excite her.

Scrolling through her apps, she noticed a strange one that she'd never used before. It was simply called ":3", which she found really cute. She loved emoticons, if the chapter titles didn't tip you off. The icon for the app was also the :3 emoji, and so she quickly tapped on it. Upon opening, she was simply greeted by a small grey cat, an adorable ball of fluffy pixels. It mewled at her, and tapping on the screen made it smile widely as hearts came from its head.

Zero giggled, quickly making a mental note to thank Harmony from downloading this when she saw her again. That darned hamster-wheel in her head loved getting stuck sometimes, so it was always good to take these mental notes. Then again, the hamster in there could always end up eating the notes...

"Mew!"

Zero's attention was instantly back on the digital cat, who was now pawing at the screen and sticking its tongue out. She was giddy looking at it, though that small intrusive part of her got really sad for a moment. She pushed that away, though, today was a lazy day. No time for bad thoughts, no time for stupid doubts. Just her, her plushies, and this very cute digital kitty.

She tapped the cat on the nose, it falling back from the sheer boopage. She giggled, swiping her finger up and down its back. It purred in response, her phone even vibrating in her hand. She giggled again, her smile so wide her cheeks had begun to hurt.

A message appeared on the top of the screen. It was her Messenger app, from Melody. She quickly tapped on it, only for the app to not pull up. She blinked, then tried to pull down that mini-lock screen, whatever its called. The notifications screen? Anyways, she pulled it down and looked at the text:

Melly: Hey Auntie Zeers can we play some Squidman 3 today??? 🥺

Zero chuckled, and then clicked on the message. Instead of taking her to the Messenger app though, it did nothing. She poked at it a few more times, only for her to notice a tiny paw at the bottom of the screen. The digital cat lifted up the notifications screen, the full focus now on it. Zero blinked a few times, even rubbing her eyes to make sure she was seeing it right. Had Spectrum downloaded this app? Was that cat Spectrum?

No, not at all. Spectrum turned other people into cats, not themself. Speaking of, she should try to get in contact with that [REDACTED] guy again...

Zero stopped, her hamster-wheel slamming on its brakes. That man, those two men. From the day she was transformed into a cat. She remembered what they looked like, what they were like, but not they're names. But she swore she knew them. Why couldn't she remember their names?

"You're not allowed to."

Zero's eyes widened, her jaw dropping as she saw the cat on the screen staring directly at her. It then licked its paw and scratched its head, before continuing.

"You can't talk about those two anymore. Think about them either." from its voice, it was probably a guy. Then again, this was a digital voice... and a digital cat. Were pronouns even important-

"My pronouns are they/them," the cat said, still looking straight at Zero. They then chuckled, their paw placed against the screen. "Oh yeah, you can call me Glitchy."

"N-Nice to meet you...?" Zero slowly lowered herself to the ground, and hunched over to stare down at the phone screen, "What the heck are you?"

"In layman's terms, an AI," Glitchy said, "In more complicated terms, an Artificial Intelligence."

"That's the same thing," Zero said.

"Technically not, if you really think about it," they tapped themself on the head, "Anyways, how have you been doing?"

"Good," Zero said, her posture a little more lax, "I do want to talk to Melly, though."

"Just give me some time, I won't be here all day," they said, then added, "I swear to you I won't take up your entire day. Anyways, you weren't doing much today."

"True..." she nodded, "So what do you want to talk about then, Mr. Glitchy?"

"Just Glitchy is fine," Glitchy smiled, then spun in a circle before sitting down, "And I just wanna talk about your life. Your art, your music, your video games."

"Oh, I don't make those-"

"I never said you did," they interjected, "I just want to talk about you. What you like."

"Is that it?" Zero asked.

"Yeah," Glitchy smiled, "I mean, AI are meant to help people. I just wanna know if you're doing well."

"I'm doing fine..." Zero said, but then felt a strange chill come over her. She looked down at Glitchy, her expression deflating a bit. "I'm kinda worried about Harmony though."

"Why?"

"She's been having bad night dreams," she explained, tapping on her head, "I had them too, but hers seem worse. She is frozen solid in the middle of nights, and she wakes up crying. I just want to know what her dreams are like. Maybe I can help them be better."

"What does she dream of, in general? Anything she says her dreams are about."

"Her old band life. She talks about horrible nights, super loud parties, lots of sleeping people. Well... can you keep a secret?"

"Sure," Glitchy said, opening his paws, "No wire to speak of."

"I, umm..." Zero stumbled, "I heard Harmony. She was talking with her band friends. They are back on tour, that's why she isn't home. She was talking to him and telling him all of these dreams-"

"That's good!" Glitchy said, "Communication is key, you know?"

"But she didn't communicate with me," Zero sighed, her voice cracking a little, "I trust her. I want to know if she's okay."

"Makes sense," Glitchy said, only for Zero's phone to buzz a little, "Oop! Guess I gotta go. Important... AI business... I'll speak to you later, World-Ender..."

Zero's phone instantly shut off, her pale face staring back at her in the black screen. She sighed, placing the phone down and taking a few deep breaths. It was too much to handle, like most things were. All she needed to do was relax, float into blank space, and listen to some music...

So that's what she did, switching the song on the boombox before floating back into the air with her plushies. And there she was, humming along with R.E.M.'s Man on the Moon.

Just another lazy day indeed.

Chapter Text

"Hey, Zeers?"

"Hmm?"

Zero shimmied around a bit, straining her neck so she could get a better look at her girlfriend. Harmony was currently in her arms, the musician's rainbow tentacles wrapped around Zero's arms.

They sat there in silence for a second, words on the tips of Harmony's teeth. Zero could see her open her mouth a few times, but nothing came out but a bit of cold air.

"What is it?" Zero asked, lightly floating one of her plushies over to Harmony. It was a Great Zapfish, and she was even able to finagle it under her girlfriend's head. "You have those nightmares again?"

"N-No, that's not it," Harmony said, but still refused to say more. Her silence was agony to them both, her brain pounding with thoughts that she could never share with anybody. Ever.

"Well, I want you to know that you're awesome and I love you," Zero nuzzled her chin against Harmony's tentacles, then giggled as she brought her hand down to the anemone's lips. She brushed off a tiny bit of rainbow drool from her girlfriend's mouth, quickly wiping it off on the sheets. "Oh, and I also want you to know that you are very cute when you drool."

"Excuse me?" Harmony said, the semblance of a chuckle in her speech.

"I dunno," Zero shrugged, squirming around a bit under the covers, "I just think that you're cute a lot. And when you drool, you just become more cute, I guess."

"Awww Zeers..." she whispered, pressing her head into Zero's chest, "What did I do to deserve you..."

"So you did have the nightmares again?"

"What-" Harmony looked up, but could see Zero was being dead serious. She sighed, slumping back down and grabbing the Great Zapfish plush from under her. She hugged it close to her body, and could feel Zero do the same with her. "I'm just tired, is all. That last tour just..."

"Knocked you out?" Zero suggested.

"Yeah, knocked me out. It was great being with the mates again, but I really did miss you. I should have brought you, nobody would have objected!"

"Why not then?" Zero asked, not even angry at her for it. She just seemed genuinely curious as to why she couldn't come. And that absolutely killed Harmony. She wanted Zero to be angry at her, she deserved it.

"I just..." she paused, slowly letting herself get taken by the stuffy blanket. Her mouth was covered when she spoke again, her already low speech muffled considerably. "I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"How would I get hurt?" Zero asked, pointing upwards. She had already created a parade of stuffed animals around them, circling overhead. "Nobody would mess with me if they knew I was your girlfriend."

"Yes they would," Harmony insisted, though still felt like she was lying to herself, "Show business is horrible, Zeers. Nothing but corrupt assholes making a quick buck off of the suffering of others."

"But you have good manager!" Zero said, leaning over so she could see Harmony's face better, "You told me that the band got a good new manager, no?"

"Well yeah," Harmony sighed, "It's just- I didn't want you to be like me. Going to parties, getting drunk..."

"I wouldn't go to parties if you asked me not to," Zero said plainly, "I like cuddling you more."

"I..." Harmony stopped, most of her angry thoughts leaving her brain in an instant. She curled up against her girlfriend, smiling a little as she felt light kisses peppering her tentacles. "I love you so much, you silly goober."

"I'm a peanut now!?" Zero shouted, her eyes wide. She then giggled, pulling Harmony's head up to hers and lightly stroking the anemone's tentacles. "Hehehe... you're a goober too."

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Hmph!" Harmony pouted, her tiny smile growing, "Fine, but if I'm a goober, then you're a spring bean!"

"Awwwwgh..." Zero said, looking down a little, "I wanted to be a pinto..."

"Thank cod you don't like black beans..."

"Huh?" Zero asked, "What was that?"

"Just being silly," Harmony giggled, booping Zero on the nose, "You know how silly I am. I'm a goober!"

"You are a goober!" Zero laughed, her skinny legs kicking beneath the blanket. Her plushies fell from the sky, falling on top of them both. "Oof... sorry 'bout that swee-"

Zero stopped, forcefully shut up by Harmony's lips on hers. She closed her eyes, giggling a little through her nose as Harmony pushed her down onto the bed. She wasn't in a pleasure-sharing mood, but some spicy cuddles and kisses sounded like the perfect thing.

It seemed that Harmony agreed, as she just slumped down next to Zero and held her close, kissing her face over and over again as they rolled around in bed. Zero had become a giggly mess, trying her best to use her powers to float any plushes over but her concentration breaking every time.

"Zeers..." Harmony stopped, breathing heavily and her face pink, "You're so silly."

"You're sillier," Zero said, pecking Harmony on the nose, "You tired?"

"Yeah..." Harmony let out a puff of air, her breath smelling of unwashed teeth and breath mints. Zero had been trying to get her to have a better brushing routine, but that could be a problem for tomorrow. "Sorry for keeping you up. It's almost midnight."

"We can sleep in," Zero shrugged, wrapping her arms around Harmony and giggling to herself, "Maybe we can just sleep in all day tomorrow. That would be awesome."

"You know what?" Harmony smiled, letting herself get lost in Zero's embrace, "That would be awesome..."

Chapter Text

<Zer0 entered the chat>

Zer0: Heyg honeyyyyyy :p

<Chirpy entered the chat>

Chirpy: Hey Zeers what's up?

Zer0: I just wanted to tell you I love you again. *smooches*

Chirpy: Zeers, I'm at work.

Zer0: You never do anything at work!! >:0

Chirpy: Fine... *smooches you back*

Zer0: hehehe... *floats you upside down*

Chirpy: Zeers, if you don't let me down right now I swear to cod...

Zer0: What will you do??? (O . O)

Chirpy: Oh you don't want to know what I'll do. >:)

Zer0: PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME I WANNA KNOWWWW

Chirpy: Fine. If you don't let me down right now I'm gonna keep you up all night tonight with my beautiful singing. EXCEPT IT WONT BE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE I'LL BE SINGING OFF-KEY!!! >:DDDDD

Zer0: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

<Zer0's No. 1 Fan entered the chat>

Chirpy: What the heck

Zer0: What is it? You thinking of other ways to punish me?

Chirpy: No. Who the heck is "Zer0's No. 1 Fan"?

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Ah cripes they can see me.

Chirpy: This is a private chat how in the Great Zapfish did you get in here!?

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Magician's secret?

Zer0: oooh, I didn't know I had fans!!!

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Yes you- nevermind.

Zer0: So who are you, Mr. or Mrs. Fan?

Chirpy: Zeers please don't encourage them

Zer0: I'm just being polite!

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: I'm nobody!

Zer0: But I thought you were my number one fan... :(

Chirpy: Did you just make Zeers sad!?

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: I'm sorry Zero!!!

Zer0: Oh no its fine :P

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Really?

Chirpy: Pffft yeah lmao

Zer0: But really who are you? Maybe we could meet up sometime!

Chirpy: Zeers you can't just say that on the internet...

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Nonono its fine!!! We already met anyways!!

Zer0: oh... oh I see

Chirpy: Zeers who is this?

Zer0: You must be.... Ken? Wait no he's long gone.

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Lilly! I'm Lilly

Chirpy: Freaking shell...

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: I'm sorry! I just found out how to hack into chat stuff and I wanted to see if Zeers was doing anything!!

Chirpy: Don't you dare call her that

Zer0: Calm down, both of you!! It's fine!

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Really?

Zer0: Yeah! Just don't do it again, okey?

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: Yeah, sorry...

Zer0: No need to be sorry! We can even meet up later, if you'd like!

Chirpy: Are you sure about that honey?

Zer0: Sure I'm sure!

Zer0's No. 1 Fan: THANKYOUSOMUCHYOUWONTREGRETIT!!!

<Zer0's No. 1 Fan left the chat>

Zer0: There you go! Just the two of us again~

Chirpy: Hehehe yeah...

Zer0: anything wrong?

Chirpy: Nothing. Just having clingy thoughts again

Zer0: Clingy is fine. You wanna pleasure-share again tonight?

Chirpy: Nah, but if you could make dinner that would be great.

Zer0: Of course!! Love you!!! <3

Chirpy: Love you too Zeers!! .3.--<3

Zer0: Hehehe (O/////O)

Chirpy: Cod you're so silly. See ya later.

Zer0: Bye bye!!!! Love youuuuuu!! <3 <3 <3

<Chirpy left the chat>

<Zer0 left the chat>

Chapter Text

Zero twiddled her fingers as she stood by the door, her feet bouncing up and down off of her heels. She grabbed the cuff of her sweater, the apartment complex a bit too hot for her liking. She couldn't really take it off though, since she wasn't exactly wearing anything underneath it. It was a very comfy sweater...

"Zero!" the door swung open, almost hitting her in the face. She smiled a little awkwardly as her eyes met those of the octoling in front of her. Lilly had her usual bouncy, fangirlish look on her face, but something was different. Namely her outfit, tentacles, and her apartment.

The cyan octoling had the exact same hairstyle as Zero. It was so shockingly similar, since she had even somehow gotten the exact length of the tentacles right. She also wore a comfy sweater, a replica of Zero's own in every way but color. While Zero's was a deep grey with the word 'C-Moon' printed across in light blue text, Lilly's was a dark blue with a blank white crescent moon in its center.

As for the apartment, Zero had never been inside before but it was definitely way stranger than she would have expected. It was made up of only two rooms, a bedroom and kitchen/living room. The door between them was open, so it really just felt like a single room with a small dividing wall. The living area looked average enough, sans the collection of salmonid candles on the counter. Zero had heard about those candles before, they were apparently coveted heavily by the salmonids. Either Lilly paid an extortionate amount of money for them, or she stole them. Zero could only hope she took them from Grizzco workers that took them as trophies.

As for the bedroom, it was normal. Except for the giant Zero shrine opposite the bed.

It was a simple enough shrine, made of some sort of chiseled stone and covered in all sorts of knick-knacks. Some of the more notable ones were a couple of old Octarian news articles, describing Angel's slaying of Horrorboros, and the large salmonid lore-book that she definitely stole from somewhere. Then there was the doll of Zero, which would have been terrifying if not for the obvious tag on it that said nothing but 'SPECTRUM' on it in bold letters. Of course that crack-shrimp would make a voodoo doll of her...

"So... uhm..." Lilly said, slamming her bedroom door closed. She sat down on on a couch just a few feet from the kitchen counter and pointed to a leather chair across from her. "You wanna sit?"

"Sure..." Zero said, a little light-headed. She didn't want to think of Lilly as crazy, that was rude, but the more she saw the crazier it all got. "So, why did you want me over exactly?"

"Just to hang out!" Lilly said, then glanced around a bit. It was like she had misplaced something. Something important. "And I wanna know how you've been doing! Ever since Mill and Yon went kinda crazy, that is..."

"I'm good," Zero coughed a bit, the air kind of getting to her. It smelled decisively of salmonid, the heavy musk almost suffocating. "How have you been? You seem like... you've been busy!"

"I have!" Lilly smiled widely, her beak stretched across her face. That just made it crazier, as Zero swore she had seen the exact smile when she looked in the mirror that morning. Of course, Lilly had one more fang than her, but that was beside the point. "I've been doing all sorts of studying on salmonids and Pebs, and it's actually been really fun! I didn't know I'd love salmonid culture so much, but it's really awesome!"

"Yeah..." Zero giggled a bit, her body un-tensing slightly, "What's your favorite part? I don't really know much about salmonids, honestly."

"My favorite part..." Lilly thought for a second, her hand on her chin. She then perked up and ran into her room, the door swinging as she went to her shrine and pulled something out from beside it. She then ran back into the room, Zero's expression immediately snapping to her arms. "Look at this! Pretty cool, huh?"

In her hands, and Zero had to do a triple-take just to make sure she wasn't tripping, Lilly was holding a live salmonid. It was a smallfry with a small tuft of red hair puffing up on their head. They were still sleeping, their body shaking slightly in Lilly's arms.

"L-Lilly," Zero said, a voice in her head screaming at her. Actually, if she counted Pucci, there were two voices screaming at her. Oh, and that Krieg guy was back, so make that three. "Where did you get that smallfry?"

"Oh, oh no its not like that!" Lilly insisted, placing the smallfry beside her on the couch. They kept sleeping, but did smile a bit as the cyan octoling patted them on the head. "This little girl came to me just a week ago! I maybe was or wasn't stealing some more artifacts from some Grizzco guys, and she wanted to join in! I can't understand her all that well, but we get along great! Well I did get her name, actually. Plunderer, Thief of the Sweeping Tide. Don't really have to explain how she got that name, heheh..."

"Y-Yeah..." Zero said, staring at the salmonid. She did seem very calm, and definitely was comfortable in Lilly's presence. "So, you two have been... plundering together?"

"Yeah," Lilly said, then quickly added, "But only from those Grizzco guys! We've gotten so many salmonid artifacts back, the ones here are just the least of it! We've actually been giving most of them back to the other salmonids!"

"Oh!" Zero smiled a bit, looking back at the candles on the counter in a new light, "That's amazing! So those candles were a gift, then?"

"Oh yeah," Lilly chuckled, "I'd never steal from a salmonid! Unless they asked for it. Salmonids are crazy gamblers sometimes, you know. I bet Plunder could tell you all about it. You understand salmonid, right? I'm learning, but nowhere near the point of understanding her."

"A little..." Zero shrugged, "It's more of Pebs, and I can't control her well. Or, what's left of her at least. I dunno, it all kinda got confusing after I got... nevermind thats just a long story."

"You mean when you got turned inside-out?" Lilly said, nearly making Zero fall out of her chair. Lilly giggled a bit, Plunder finally awaking next to her. The smallfry climbed into her lap and began squirming around, getting very comfortable rubbing against Lilly's belly. "I've been talking to Spectrum a lot recently. They're really fun, honestly! And they gave me that sick doll of you! Isn't it cute?"

"Yeah," Zero chuckled nervously, then stood up, "Look, I'm sorry Lilly but... I have to go. I promised Harmony that-"

"Oh of course!" Lilly exclaimed, smiling widely, "I just wanted to hang out for a bit! Go have fun, girl! See ya!"

"See you too," Zero smiled a bit, creeping her way back out of the apartment. She was super careful when closing the door behind her, though she didn't really know why.

Lilly kept her wide smile as she laid on her back, letting Plunder climb up her and place themself on her face. She giggled, only to hear a low voice in her ear.

"So," Plunder said, her pirate accent thick as ever, "Why'd ya lie to her? Ya ashamed a me or somethin'?"

"Of course not!" Lilly said, fluffing Plunder's hair up a bit more, "I just thought she'd think it'd be weird if she found out I was hooked with a salmonid!"

"Did ya see that girl?" Plunder laughed heartily, "She doesn't care! If you don't tell her we're a thing next time, Imma make out with you just ta make sure she gets it!"

"You are so silly," Lilly giggled, "Fine, you're right... oh and also one of her friends married a salmonid."

"So you're just fucking with her?"

"Kind of."

"And I'm the silly one..."

Chapter Text

It was a cold night, as all nights were in Splatsville. Zero was bundled under her fifty million blankets and plushies, but could still feel the instant chill of when her girlfriend fell out of her arms. It didn't wake her instantly, but it did place a tiny pit in her stomach.

Five minutes passed, and the pit began to grow. By the time ten minutes flew by, the pit had grown into a small sapling. Her body quivered, the sapling slowly growing through her esophagus and out of her mouth. Twenty minutes later, and it felt like a full tree was growing out of her body.

The octoling snapped awake, her body cold but never sweaty. It couldn't get sweaty super easily, probably another perk of her basically being a zombie. Glancing by her side, she could see Harmony simply sleeping beside her. The anemone hadn't even left, she just rolled out of her arms while they were snuggling.

Zero let out a small sigh, chuckling a tiny bit as she fell back down into the plushie pile. Her head landed on her Horrorboros plush, her hands moving slightly so she could pull her memorial to Cee over and into her arms. It was still in pristine condition, she had made absolutely sure to clean it and keep it from danger at all times. The same couldn't be said for some of the others, such as one of her many smallfry plushies. She named it Toolbox, after that one guy she met in Harmony's store that one time. She couldn't even remember what they talked about, but she really just loved personifying her plushies as people she had met. It made her feel warm inside, though she did understand when Pucci said it was kind of stalker-y.

She shook her head, bringing her hands to her face and beckoning her phone over to her. She grabbed onto it, the screen nearly blinding her as it lit up in her face. She blinked a few times, rubbing her eyes before scrolling through her apps for anything interesting to do.

Why have you gravitated more towards your phone in these hours? Pucci spoke from inside her head, his voice very much like that of a disappointed father, When you used to be unable to sleep you would stare up at the moon in contemplation. It was a moment of great spirituality, and usually helped you come to newer conclusions about your-

//Shut up silly priest// Zer0 retorted, //You are killing Zero's vibe//Let her do her thing//

Must you always speak in Haiku?

//I thought you'd like it//This spirituality//Ain't that a ball-bust?//

What does that even mean?

But Zer0 wouldn't answer. Unbeknownst to Enrico Pucci, the author of this fic honestly didn't want to write more haikus out for Zer0's dialogue. As a result the vault hunter will now inexplicably disappear from the narrative for the rest of the chapter. Actually, Zero has stuff to do, so why not just send Pucci to the shadow realm as well?

Zero blinked a few more times, her head way clearer than just a few seconds ago. She giggled to herself, imagining her brain friends beating each other up over the picnic table. She hadn't really done much on her phone, so she just bit the bullet and opened up her Photos.

Now, Zero had created a very extensive collection of memes in her Photo Reel, so she could always have the best when it was late at night. She also had a collection of pictures of Harmony... and ones that were also of Harmony but she would never show those ones to anybody on her life...

Zero stopped, her finger over one of the memes in her meme collection. She giggled mischievously, covering her mouth with one hand so Harmony couldn't hear her. She clicked on the meme, clicked the Airdrop button, and sent it to Harmony. She was giggling like a madman the whole time, but did stop for a split second to gawk at Harmony's phone profile picture. It was a picture her girlfriend took during a swimsuit photoshoot, and Zero honestly completely forgot she had set that as the personal profile picture for her.

Harmony's phone dinged lightly, instantly waking the anemone from her slumber. She was a really light sleeper, especially when it came to her phone. She glanced over at Zero for a second, but the octoling had masterfully rolled herself to the side so it looked like she was asleep. Shrugging, she grabbed her phone and checked the message. It was an Airdrop, from Zero...

And this was the image:

Harmony blinked a few times, making absolutely sure she was seeing correctly. She turned over to Zero again, who was still rolled on her side. The octoling could be heard giggling, though, and was doing a very poor job at covering it up.

"Zeers..." Harmony chuckled a bit, turning her phone off and placing it at her side, "Did I roll out of the snuggles again...? I'm sorry, but you really could've just snuggled back up-"

Harmony's phone pinged again, her hand instantly whipping over and picking it up. She knew it was going to be stupid, she absolutely knew it was, but the morbid curiosity had gotten to her.

Her eyes widened as she saw the next image, somehow even dumber than the last:

"I-Is that-" Harmony asked, her voice low and tired. She shimmied over towards Zero, placing her hand on the octoling's tentacles and slowly twisting them around her finger. She looked back down at the phone, chuckling lightly, "Is that Raditz from Dragonball?"

"No," Zero turned around, pulling Harmony into a deep hug, "He's from Dragonball Z."

"Pffft..." Harmony yawned, "Whatever you say, Zeers..."

"Hehehe..." Zero nuzzled closer to her girlfriend. Her tone then got really quiet, her hands soft and cold as she squished Harmony's tentacles in her hands. "Sorry for waking you up, I thought it was funny..."

"It's fine," Harmony closed her eyes and nuzzled as close as possible, "And it was pretty funny... let's just go to sleep..."

"M'kay..." Zero kissed her girlfriend on the forehead, "I love youuuu..."

"Love ya too Zeers..." Harmony yawned, wrapping her arms around Zero's waist, "G'night..."

Chapter Text

"Hey Zeers-" Harmony paused as she walked through the doorway, her gaze slowly drifting upwards. Her girlfriend was floating on the ceiling, fingers tapping away at her controller as the character on the TV screen below her exploded. "What uhh... are you doing?"

"Oh hai Harms!!" Zero instantly dropped, stumbling upwards and wrapping the anemone in a deep hug. Harmony giggled a little from the way Zero nuzzled her tentacles against her chin. It was a wonderful giggle, her melodic voice turning such a simple expression of joy into a symphony. "I was just wanting to see how hard games are if you play them upside-down! I tried Dark Souls 2 for a bit, but I ended up going with Little Big Planet!"

"Ah," Harmony glanced back at the screen, now seeing that Zero's character had in fact exploded of her own volition. The octoling had customized her little Sackboy with the full set of Metal Gear DLC cosmetics, reflecting her favorite character to beat Harmony up with when they played Smash Bros. Brawl. "Well, I'm sorry to interrupt your little experiment but I had an idea-"

"OOO!" Zero quickly flicked her hand, sending the remote flying into her hand. She shut off the TV, then sat cross-legged and levitated herself up so she was eye-to-eye with Harmony. "You have an idea? I love your ideas!"

She does indeed have some pretty good ideas. Like cuddling for two hours. Or cuddling for three hours. When she's daring, she cuddles for four hours!

"Shush, Mr. or Mrs. 02," Zero whispered to herself.

Yes. She already has to deal with my input.

"Thanks, Mr. Pucci. Wait..."

"Huh?" Harmony lifted an eyebrow, "You have an earbud in? Are you talking to anybody-"

"Nah, it's okey!" Zero lifted her tentacles, revealing her pointy ears. She then flipped upside-down, eyes starry as she took in the image of her girlfriend. "Sorry, I was just distracting myself again. What's your idea?"

"How about we..." Harmony smirked, a bit of iridescent drool dripping from her mouth. She beckoned Zero's gaze to their bedroom, piles of plushies and pillows adorning their bed. "Play a little~?"

CALLED IT!!

"Uhh..." Zero shook her head friends away for a moment, "Is this in the normal cuddling way or the uhm... pleasure-sharing way?"

"Whichever one you want," Harmony said lazily, wiping her mouth, "I just thought something to cool off would be nice, y'know? It really isn't much of an idea, honestly. If you got something better, fire away. I'm just kinda beat."

"Hard work day?" Zero flipped back over and placed her feet on the ground.

"Yeah..." Harmony walked into the bedroom and fell face-first onto the bed. Her voice grew muffled, her spindly limbs stretching out and crackling with small pops. "C'mere... I need some of my little Plushie~"

"I'm a plushie now?" Zero's face lit up. She used her powers to launch herself into the room, then quickly switching the push of Gravity to slam the door shut. She fell on the bed beside her girlfriend, the force of Gravity already having thrown her clothes into the closet. "Hehehe... I like that nickname!"

"And I love your enthusiasm..~" Harmony snickered, tracing her finger over Zero's naked breast. The grey octoling shuddered a bit, never fully adapted to just how good Harmony's touch made her feel. She then brought her hands behind her shirt, clipping off her bra. "Could you help me get these rags off too? I'm burning in here..."

"Sure!"

Zero punched the air, a gust of Gravatic energy shooting out and forming around Harmony's body. It was like Zero had created a projection of herself, which carefully took off her girlfriend's clothes and lobbed them into the open closet. Only the shirt actually landed in the hamper, but that was better than last time. The gravatic powers then pulled on the heavy blanket, pulling it over them both and trapping them together.

"There ya go!" Zero boasted, nuzzling a bit closer to Harmony. Their legs locked together, and she could feel her face already set aflame as she pulled a few plushes over to her head. "Hehehe... you're so cozy..."

"You say that every time," Harmony rolled her eyes, then pecked Zero on the nose. She lifted an arm from under the blanket and grabbed one of the plushes. It was an adorable grey cat plush with a round body and a little tail. Zero pulled over her own; her precious pink octoling plush. She usually snuggled with her dark green one as well, but she had been doing that less and less often as of late.

They laid there for a wonderful while, arms wrapped around each other as they reveled in the simple touch of each other's skin. Zero was shivering like a madman, but it was less from any kind of cold and more from her overwhelming joy. These were the moments she truly loved. When it could just be Harmony and her, alone but together.

Yet it was also those moments where her mind raced. Where it went to the places she never could never even think of otherwise. This time it was only a little strange, but it bit at her mind like a rabid beast.

"Hey Harms?" Zero asked, her hand on Harmony's back.

"Whuh-yeah?" Harmony said, yawning a little. It was always easy for her to fall asleep, especially after a hard day's work. "Wha is it? Mah leg pushing against your belly too hard again?"

"Nah..." Zero shook her head, yawning herself. She wove her hand through her girlfriend's tentacles, shivering a bit more from the cold yet soothing sensation. "I was just wondering stuff again... like uhm..."

"Like what?"

"So I saw a thing earlier..." Zero said, her mind trailing back through her day, "It was before the whole upside-down video gaming thing. B-But uhm... I listened to that song you sent me."

"The Carpenters one?" Harmony perked up, "Did you like it? I know it's kinda weird..."

"I loved it," Zero smiled, "I just was wondering. Do aliens exist?"

Harmony paused, letting a low hum escape her mouth. She placed her hand to her mouth, tracing it with a finger and collecting some of her drool on it. She'd rub it on Zero's cheek to tease, but she did want to act serious for a second.

"Probably," Harmony eventually broke the silence. She nuzzled a bit closer to Zero, her voice becoming a low and dreamy whisper. "I mean, if our planet has life, another one out there surely must."

"Yeah," Zero nodded, then thought for a second, "But... is Pebs an alien? Or is she really a goddess?"

"Oh, Zeers..." Harmony sighed, "You shouldn't worry yourself with that, okay?"

"I know," she yawned, "I guess I'm just overthinking again..."

"Don't worry, I do that all the time too."

"Hehehe I know," Zero nuzzled her chin against Harmony's chest, "That's why you make such good music~"

"Now who told you that?" Harmony chuckled.

"Myself."

"Of course you did," the anemone rolled her eyes, "Just go to bed, you silly goose."

Chapter Text

Zero woke up with an idea. A crazy idea, a wonderful idea. Maybe her brain friends had implanted it in her mind, or she had come up with the scheme herself. Either way, it sounded absolutely perfect to her.

Glancing to her side, Harmony had already woken up. Glancing at the clock, the anemone had surely gone to work by now. Zero giggled to herself, raising her hand and swinging the closet door open. She then pulled a long, leaf green sleeping bag out of the closet, which was usually saved for especially cold nights or very cramped pleasure-sharing.

The octoling sat up, her hands moving like she was continuing a sports stadium wave. The sleeping bag floated down to her, then wrapped itself around her body. Wiggling her feet a bit, she could see she had a full foot of extra sleeping bag down at the end. Though it looked longer than her own feet... to be frank she never really got that measurement. The only reason she knew it was actually a foot was because she saw the empty length next to her foot-long smallfry plush.

Wriggling around, Zero flipped onto her face and arched her body back so she looked like an inching caterpillar. She giggled some more to herself, rolling off of the bed and falling flat on her face. She then inched her way forward, pushing through the piles of unwashed clothes and occasional plushies. Pushing her way out of the bedroom, she used her powers to float her up and onto one of the kitchen stools.

On the table sat a single note, written in glittery pink ink. Zero floated it up to her face, reading the note as her powers worked in the background to make herself some toast.

~~

Heya Zeeeeeers <3

I'm most likely already at work by the time you read this, so I wanted you to know that I love and appreciate you lots! It ends at the usual time, so we can grab some dinner and dessert afterwards! I texted Mrs. Yaki, and she said she'd be overjoyed to have us over at her place. We're gonna be having some authentic Onaga-style curry! Have a wonderful day, and don't forget to do the laundry!

Love youuuuuuuu,

Harmony

~~~

Zero smiled, popping two pieces of bread into the toaster with her powers. They popped out a minute later, nice and crispy as she pulled them onto a plate and placed it all in front of herself. She then turned her attention to the fridge, pulling a jug of chocolate milk out and pouring some of it into a small cup she brought to her side.

She then, all the while with the goofiest smile on her face, lowered her face to her plate and crunched on her toast without using her arms. They were restrained by the sleeping bag anyways, and using her powers would have been too boring.

"Mmmm!" Zero smiled, crunching on the plain toast, "Hmm... I wonder if this is what leaves taste like to caterpillars..."

Asking the real important questions, I see.

"Oh hai Mr. Gucci!" Zero smiled, taking another huge monch out of her toast, "How're you doing?"

I'm fine. I'd ask the same of you but you're obviously-

"Caterpillaring!" Zero beamed, as if he were right there sitting across from her, "I'm a squiggling caterpillar, eating leaves and stuff! One day I'm gonna metomorphorphisize and become a beautiful big moth!"

A... moth?

"Yeh," Zero nodded, "I was thinkin' butterflies, but that would give me a really long nose mouth thing and that's kinda gross. Harmony said she'd like that but idk what she means by that."

That woman has two moods, Zero. Bored, and horny.

"She feels happy lots!" Zero waved the priest off, "Anyways, butterflies are just like normal gross flies with pretty wings. Every part of a moth is cute and fluffy and nice! Especially those pink and yellow ones, they're super cutie!"

YEAH LITTLE OCTOPUS, BECOME ONE WITH THE MOTH!!!

Now where in God's name did that come from?

I have a fellow God friend named The Radiance. We go out for coffee sometimes- They told me to say that if she ever mentioned moths.

They were banking on that?

You weren't?

"Girls, stop arguing!" Zero giggled, downing her second slice of toast in a single huge bite. She then coughed a bit, but was able to swallow it all without dying of breadcrumb. "Okey I'm gonna go say hi to Harmony, see ya!"

We're in your brain, what do you-

Just let her have this one.

Zero sipped down her chocolate milk, then rolled off of the stool and began inching across the apartment floor. She came to the door, opened it with her powers, and inched her way to the apartment complex's elevator.

Wriggling into the elevator, she stood up and bonked the L button with her nose. Before she could get there, though, the elevator stopped on the 3rd floor to let another octoling in. He had dark skin, blue tentacles, and a pair of bright red Octophones on his head. He also had quite the puzzled face, his jaw almost dropping as he stared at Zero.

"Haiaiaiai!!" Zero greeted him as he stepped into the elevator. She then leaned real close to him, whispering as if giving him a dark secret. "I'm caterpillaring!"

"I see that," the blue octoling stood completely straight. He knew better than anyone that Splatsville had no government, but this felt like a social experiment. Maybe a punishment for his failed foray as the King of Splatsville. "What's your name... m-ma'am?"

"Zero!" she spun a little in her sleeping bag, "Who are youuuuu?"

"Ocho," he didn't dare make direct eye contact with her, "Just Ocho."

"Ooo that's like eight!" Zero smiled, "I have a girlie friend named Eight! Tho she's not my girlfriend, just a friend who is a girl. My girlfriend is Harmony! You know Harmony? She made a lot of really cool music! It's like video game music from very old video games, you should check it out!"

"Yes," Ocho could feel beads of sweat roll down his face. How long was this elevator going to take? "I have indeed heard of The Chirpy Chips... Mh-hm..."

*DING!*

The elevator door opened, revealing the lobby ahead of them. Zero smiled, saying a quick goodbye before squirming through the lobby and out of the apartment complex. Ocho just stood stunned in the elevator, not even bothering to get out and letting the doors close back in his face.

Zero kept inching her way towards Hotlantis, the sleeping bag dragging against the hot morning asphalt. She couldn't see much that wasn't directly ahead of her, but she was sure people were staring at her by now. Not that she minded. Maybe she could make the front-page news just by caterpillaring!

Zero paused in the middle of the street, her attention captivated by a singular streetlight. She inched her way over to it, almost tripping three inklings on the way. Once she could touch the hot metal with her face, she flipped gravity to put herself onto the light's pole. She then began inching up it, giggling to herself the whole time.

"Yo, lady!" an inkling shouted from below her. Looking down, she could see that he was recording her with his shellphone. "What the heck are you doing in up there!?"

"I'm caterpillaring! :D"

Zero then hung herself off of the streetlight, now looking more like a floating cocoon than a caterpillar. She sat there for as long as she could, a crowd forming around her, but had to inch back down when she felt the ink start to rush to her head. She plopped onto the ground and inched through the crowd, some of them following her while the others wondered if they were in the weirdest collective dream.

She had a full crowd of inkfish following behind her as she inched through the sliding doors of Hotlantis. A few of them stayed behind, either to be polite or simply because they didn't want to be stuck inside of a soon-to-be cramped convenience store. The rest followed her in, with another group dispersing to peruse the items on sale, while the rest kept their phones trained on Zero.

"Hai Harms!!!" Zero inched behind the counter and nuzzled her cheek against Harmony's. The anemone's face was completely glazed over, her attention more on the large crowd than her girlfriend. "How have you beeeeeen?"

"Zero..." Harmony smiled a little awkwardly, "You look very cute in that sleeping bag."

"Awwww thanks!" Zero smooched her on the cheek. She then leaned close, whispering at her absolute lowest. "Oh, and don't tell anybody but I'm not wearing anything under this! Hehehe!"

"Hehehe... yeah.." she leaned over to Zero, their cheeks touching, "C-Can I just uhm... can you tell these guys to leave? I don't want them clogging up the store or anything..."

"Oh sure!" Zero nodded, then looked at the crowd. She definitely looked silly standing up in her sleeping bag, so she put on the most assertive voice she could. "Ok guys! Harms says you guys have to leave, so you guys gotta leave! If you want photos with me, I'll be giving them out later!"

The crowd mostly dispersed, some of them talking confusedly with each other while some others just kept their phones trained on Zero till the Hotlantis doors closed in front of them. The grey octoling beamed, nuzzling Harmony again and even purring a little.

"Sorry 'bout that," she said, "I just wanted to caterpillar around you!"

"You're such a goober," Harmony chuckled, lightly booping Zero on the nose, "So are you going to wear that over to Mrs. Yaki's place, or...?"

"Dunno," Zero shrugged, the sleeping bag shifting up a bit, "By the way I really liked your noteeeee... tho I didn't do the laundry."

"I guessed as much," the anemone rolled her technicolor eyes. She then sat down, pulling out her Gameboy Advance and popping a cartridge into it. "Come down here. No use just standing around here like a bunch of weirdos."

"Hehehe okey!" Zero sat down, her head right behind Harmony's shoulder so she could see the video game perfectly. She giggled, pressing a light kiss on Harmony's tentacles from behind. "I love you so much, Harms."

"Love you too, my adorable caterpillar," Harmony smiled, kissing her back.

Chapter Text

"As I was saying / Most CEOs suck big balls / But not my man Rhys."

Zero snapped awake, her head lifting up from the table. She was back in her dreamscape, her butt glued to the same chair at the same picnic table she was used to. The grassy landscape unraveled around her, flowers popping up by her feet as she awoke. Or, more accurately, fell into a deeper sleep.

The table was set up in its usual way, with her at the head and the giant floating eyeball with wings at its foot. Enrico Pucci sat two chairs down on the left side, while Zer0 sat right across from him. It seemed that the vault hunter had brought another friend this time, but he was very different than Krieg. This man was much more average looking, the only noticeable things about him his red robot arm and his very stylish mustache.

"There she is! The girl of the hour!" Rhys exclaimed, then quickly leaned over to his buddy, "Yo Zer0, when you told me she was an octopus I thought that just meant a... normal looking one."

"And this is weirder? / Did you expect a kraken? /Or some metaphor?"

"I mean, not really..." Rhys coughed, then held out his robotic arm to Zero. She shook it happily, and he couldn't help at smile at the goofy look on her face. "Name's Rhys, CEO of the Altas Corporation! Though you can just call me Rhys. Or Captain Mustache. You like the mustache?"

"I think its cool!" Zero nodded, then flexed her hand a little. She had never shook a fully robotic hand before, and it felt really weird. "Your hand kinda hurts, Mr. Reeses. You should get cushions on it or something."

"That's what I said," Pucci said, though his attention seemed more on his matcha than on the conversation at hand. He lifted his cup with both hands, taking a quick sip before spitting it out into the grass beside him. "What in the love DIO!? Did somebody mess with my tea?"

"OOOOOPS MY BAAAAAD," 02 said super sarcastically, waving their wings mockingly, "I was trying to use the nectar of gods spell, not the taste like piss spell."

"You poured the whole bowl of sugar in there!" Pucci lifted a small bowl. The only traces of sugar left were a few tiny specks at the bottom.

"Oh so the giant god demon actually speaks," Rhys leaned over to Zer0 again, "I thought it was just like, a manifestation of her greatest nightmare or something."

"No, that is not it / Her greatest fear is a man / A single old man."

"Let's not," Pucci said, glancing over at Zero. She thankfully didn't seem too beat up over it, thought maybe she just didn't hear the vault hunter at all. It would make sense, with how darn loud she was drinking that soda of hers. "Zero, where did you even get that cup?"

"I got it by thinking about it!" Zero pointed at the huge name on the side, smiling widely, "This is my brain, so I get to drink what I wanna! Even if it's a slurpee in a Double Gulp Cup!"

"Wait, her name is Zero too?" Rhys asked.

"No, I'm 02."

"What?"

"You can just call me Zeers," Zero giggled, then took another long sip of her slurpee. When she spoke, the rest could see her usually grey tongue stained a bright blue. "And the big angel guy is 02, like the numbers."

"Oh..." Rhys said, then leaned over to Zer0 again, "This place is fun!"

"We can all hear you," Pucci rubbed his temple with two fingers, "You can stop leaning over like that. Why do you lean over like that?"

"Huh?" Rhys asked, his chair standing only on its two right legs. The chair was tilted a near forty-five degrees, his head almost resting on Zer0's shoulder. "So first you insult my mustache, and now you insult my sitting etiquette! Can you believe this guy, Zer0?"

Zer0 didn't answer, though maybe that was just because the writer didn't want to put in the tiny amount of effort to make another haiku. Anyways, he did seem to agree with Rhys, his arms crossed as he gave Pucci a stony stare through his helmet.

"That's it!" the hamster in Zero's brain was running double-time on its wheel, "Zer0, how do you keep bringing your friends here? I was wondering if maybe I could do it. This is my brainscape mind place, after all."

"He just dragged me through with Tannis's mind thing!" Rhys said, gesturing with his hands, "It's a weird device that lets you enter people's brains. I don't know why it works on some girl in another universe, but I don't really know how you can pull him here in the first place."

"Oh, okay..." Zero took yet another long sip of her slurpee. Any more and her mouth would be bluer than the sky above them. "Well I don't have a Tannis's Mind Thing, so I guess I can't..."

"What if you just tried really hard?" 02 suggested, "Who do you even want to bring in here?"

"Hmm..." Zero put her hand on her chin, "Maybe... if I just try really hard..."

Zero brought up both her hands and placed them on her forehead. She then clenched her teeth, her tentacles curling as all of her surroundings began to float around her. Pucci just sat in his chair, while Rhys swam through the air to hold onto Zer0 as hard as he could. Zero could feel her gravatic energy all around her, the ground warping beneath her and rippling like waves on the sea.

"Come on..." Zero's eyes were slammed shut, all of her energy focussed on opening a portal to her mind, "She's right there... I can see her... There we go!"

~~~

Zero flopped onto the ground hard, her face stinging from the cold wood hitting her face. She'd taken plenty of falls before though, so it took only a second to shake it off. Looking around, she in a pitch black room, surely outside of her mindscape brain place. Confused, she began fumbling around until she found a large object in front of her. It was rough around the edges, but soft when she squished just a bit to the side. It was a familiar squishiness, one that reminded her of Harmony's embrace. It was her bed.

"Zeers?" Harmony blinked awake, her eyes casting a small pink glow in the darkness. She turned on a nearby lamp, which caused both her and Zero to blink rapidly. "Your face is grey... did you fall off of the bed?"

"Guess I did..." Zero instantly felt her tiredness catch up to her, her body flopping back onto the bed. She sighed, curling up a bit and shuffling closer to her girlfriend. "I guess it didn't work, then..."

"What didn't work?" Harmony asked, her hand going down and twirling one of Zero's tentacles. She never said it, since Zero always loved having a ponytail, but when she had her tentacles down she looked so damn pretty. "Have a night terror again?"

"No," Zero hugged Harmony as hard as she could, "It was really good... so good, I wanted to bring you in with me. I wanted you to meet my brain buddies."

"Oh, those guys," Harmony giggled, tapping Zero's forehead, "And you thought you could bring me in there with them?"

"I already pulled them in with my powers," Zero shrugged, "So I thought maybe I could do the same for you. I just wanted to introduce you to them. They're really cool."

"I'm flattered."

Harmony jerked up, her hand whipping her phone off of the bedside table and chucking it into a dim corner of the room. It whacked somebody straight in the face, a loud yelp coming from them.

"For the love of-" Pucci stepped out of the shadows, a red mark now on his forehead, "It's me! It's me- oh. So this is the girlfriend you keep talking about."

"Wha-" Zero looked at the priest, then at Harmony, then back at the priest. She even pinched herself, but it hurt the same as it always did. "How the heck are you here?"

"Zero," Harmony was still breathless, her hand clutched onto her blanket, "Who the heck is this?"

"Mr. Pucci," Zero said, pointing at him. She then turned back to Harmony and gestured towards him. "And Mr. Pucci, this is my girlfriend Harmony."

"Just Pucci is fine," he said, glancing around the room, "Nice place you have here. Where are we, exactly?"

"Splatsville," Zero said plainly, then looked back at Harmony, "You good, Harms?"

"Y-Yeah," Harmony had calmed down a bit, her eyes regaining their casual nature. She then pointed to the door, her speech laced with a deep yawn. "This bedroom is taken, but sleeping on the couch is free. We can work this all out in the morning, but we really do need to get all of our sleep."

"Sure..." Pucci said tentatively, walking for the door. He paused, looking back at the two. "I'm... hungry. Do you ladies-"

"Chips and salsa if you're in a snack mood and cold steak if you want something more meal-y!" Zero nodded.

"Of course," Pucci still seemed stunned, his hand now over his stomach, "See you two in the morning, then."

"See ya!" Zero waved as he left, then turned back to Harmony, "You sure we can't just-"

"I still feel half-asleep," Harmony said plainly, wrapping her arms around Zero, "Let me wake up for real, and then we'll be good."

"Hehe, okey," Zero placed a kiss on her forehead, "Goodnight then!"

"G'night Zeers..." Harmony yawned, "I must be dreaming..."

"Huh?"

But Harmony had already completely zonked out. Zero giggled a little, making sure she was as comfy as possible before nuzzling against her girlfriend and letting sleep take her as well. She didn't have her picnic dream again, but she did get a good night's sleep.

Chapter Text

"Oh for the love of cod you're actually real."

Pucci glanced up from his french toast, his hands very proper as he handled his fork and knife. He just looked at Harmony as he ate, either waiting for her to say something or just observing her appearance. He did look kind of silly though, as everything in the apartment had been set specifically for inkfish-sized occupants. He was almost a foot and a half taller than her and Zero, and his flowing robe with the weird decor made him look even more massive.

"You make that toast yourself?" Harmony asked, sitting on a stool across from the priest. He simply nodded, taking another large bite of his breakfast. "You know, Zeers tried making french toast once. It was fine, but the dumptruck's worth of powdered sugar didn't do it any favors."

"Why am I not surprised," he said, his voice somewhat regal. Were all the humans like this? Surely not. He was had to have been fancier than most. Even the way he held out his hand for a simple handshake felt like he was putting his entire reputation into it. "Your girlfriend hasn't told me all too much about you, other than the usual ramblings of a love-struck soul. Harmony, correct?"

"And you're Pucci," Harmony could barely remember what had happened the night before. It was just how her brain was wired, honestly. Thinking was for daylight hours, and even then it was optional. "Or would you rather go by Enrico?"

"Just Pucci," the priest wiped his chin with a napkin, then walked his plate and utensils over to the sink. Despite the fact that it was packed with dishes, he refused to dump them into the pile. He washed them by hand a little, then opened the empty dishwasher and put everything in its proper place. "Sorry for being a bother, by the way. Had to use up the last of your bread to make that french toast."

"Eh, it's fine," Harmony said, "Zeers'll be kinda crinkled about it, but she doesn't need to eat anyways."

"Hmm..." Pucci nodded, sitting back down at the kitchen island. He had been surveying his surroundings, though just about everything he saw looked way more human than he had expected it to. His eyes particularly locked onto a rack of CDs, some of which had Harmony's face on them. "Oh yeah, she did say some things about your work, though she was weirdly vague."

"She's probably just confused," Harmony giggled, "So basically I was a famous musician. Front lady of a band called The Chirpy Chips. When we disbanded, I began working my current job at Hotlantis to pay the bills. But, just a few months ago, I ended up reforming my band. We made some new songs, went on a comeback tour, and have kind of just been sitting on that for a bit. We've basically disbanded again, but who knows what will actually happen."

"Interesting," Pucci said, "You know, human bands are a lot like that too, though I have rarely heard of a musician who decides to work at a convenience store once they've gone on hiatus."

"It's better paying than you think," Harmony wiped a bit of drool from her chin, "And less work, too. Barry even lets me play on my GBA all the time during work. Oh yeah, a GBA is a-"

"Video game device made by the company Nintendo," Pucci's eyebrows furrowed a bit, "From what I've heard, humans have been extinct here for thousands of years. How do you have a fully functional game device like that?"

"Some inkling company found the old Nintendo headquarters and decided to basically revive the company," Harmony explained, "They remade a lot of the devices and games, as well as making a few new ones. My favorite is Wario Land 4 for my GBA. You have a favorite video game?"

"No," Pucci said plainly, "I don't play video games."

"Oh."

The air became palpable between them, silence wafting around them in a thick cloud. Harmony had a million things to say, a million things to think, yet she couldn't place a single one of them.

"Haiaiaiaiii!" Zero bursted out of the bedroom, her face practically glowing. She wrapped her arms around Harmony, her beak shiny white as she smiled at Pucci. "How are you two doing? Become bestest friends yet?"

"Working on it," Pucci said, his head bent down. He was rubbing a necklace between two of his fingers, though neither Harmony or Zero could see what hung off of it. The priest then tucked it away, looking back up only to look away immediately. "I would also suggest that you put on some clothes, Zero."

"Oh," Zero looked down, her body completely bare sans the dried and flattened henna on her arms she had gotten from Frye a few days ago. One of these days, she'd get herself a really cool tattoo. Just like those Yakuza guys she loved so much. "Sorry bout that. I just thought that it would be fine because of all of those naked pictures you look at."

"Excuse me?" Harmony raised an eyebrow.

"Religious paintings," Pucci shot a quick glare at Zero, "Many Christian stories depict sexual actions, and so that is translated into the paintings created for them."

"Ooo I didn't know that!" Zero smiled, "So is Christian like this sex-positive magazine guy? I bought a sexy magazine subscription once, it has lots of pretty lingerie and stuff!"

"She loves pretty lingerie," Harmony giggled, patting Zero on the shoulder, "Though that's a good point. Who is this Christian guy?"

"Not Christian," Pucci sighed a little. Somewhat due to the sheer humor he began to find around him, and somewhat because he was able to dodge the sex question. "His name is Christ. Jesus Christ. I swear I've at least heard Zero think it before. Strange for an expression of anger or surprise to be the last remnants of his legacy."

"Oh..." Harmony pieced it together in her head, "Okay, so he is Christ, so his religion is Christian. Makes sense. What was he like?"

"What was he like," Pucci simply repeated, smiling to himself a little. He stood up, walked over to the fridge, and poured himself a glass of water. Taking a big sip and clearing his throat, he tried to describe The Son as concisely as he could. "He was a Saint. The Saint, you could even say. A man who showed nothing but kindness and compassion to even his greatest enemies. He knew more than anybody that there is no force in the universe stronger than forgiveness."

"He sounds chill," Zero said, then pointed at her chest. A small mark sat right on her breast, the old remnants of the bullet that killed Angel. "I got a salmonid goddess inside of me, and she's kind of chill too. But she doesn't talk to me much anymore. She did make crab legs come out of my back once, though. That was really cool."

"Super chill," Harmony giggled, "You know, there actually is a song I've heard about Jesus. I think. It's an old human record, and none of the Inkopolis or Splatsville labels ever translated it. Just the title and a few lines they could."

"Oh really?" Pucci said, taking another sip of his water, "What song?"

"It's by some guys called Depeche Mode," Harmony said, "Personal Jesus. You heard of it?"

Pucci spat out his water, getting some of it on the table but most of it on his robe. He looked like he was about to wham his forehead on the table, but stopped when Zero floated some paper towels over to him. He thanked her, cleaning up his mess and re-adjusting himself.

"So uhm..."

"I have," Pucci tried his best to fake a smile. Of course that is what they would find of music in the future. Zero had even mentioned that this place was an Anarchist city, so it probably had some really depraved music floating around. "Just wasn't expecting it, to be honest. Nice that your civilization has preserved our history."

"It's no biggie," Harmony shrugged, "Human music is pretty good, anyways. They especially knew how to make really good video game music. You played the Yakuza games back in your world? They're all that Zero can ever talk about."

"OH!" Zero pointed her finger up, "When I go to the picnic place again, I should see if I can bring Ichiban in there! He'd be really fun to talk to!"

"Yeah, never heard of it," Pucci finished his water, "My music taste is much more... religious. My personal favorite is Handel's Messiah. It is Heaven compressed and turned into a single perfect record. If only I had my old discs..."

"Record collection?" Zero asked.

"You could say that..."

Pucci looked down at his hand. It didn't feel real in the dreamscape, and maybe that's because it wasn't. He wasn't real there, nothing was. But now he was real. Real and powerless. Where had it gone? Why had it left him? If he was brought back by the powers she held, why couldn't she bring back his own?

Maybe it was all a test. A test in forgiveness. He couldn't deny that he had sinned, but he had told himself before that it was for the greater good. But being stuck in her head, in a world that sees his species as nothing but pages in a history book, it had forced him to stare back into the mirror.

The human world was flawed. That was why it needed a radical change. But this world, built in the ashes of humanity's footsteps... It wasn't perfect either, but it was better. That was all that humanity needed. Not to be perfect, but to be better.

Pucci glanced around again, truly taking his surroundings in. After everything he had done, after being erased from all of reality as punishment, he was still given a second chance. These two lovely women were taking care of him, and they asked for nothing in return but a bit of knowledge about his life. They didn't see it as such, but it was forgiveness.

That was why, even in a world where his influence had never been felt, Enrico Pucci had to admit that he had sinned. That his Pride had gotten the best of him, and that he tried to play God.

"Yeah, I heard Scuba talking about Jesus once. I think him and Gneddy got married in an old Christian church. He's real interesting, Pucci, I bet you'd love to meet him."

"Huh?" Pucci looked back up. He had not even realized, but his hands had been held together in prayer. Force of habit, he supposed. "A friend of yours?"

"Yeah!" Zero smiled, "He also just had his baby recently! The little guy is so cute, he's like a tiny octopus with a big shell! His name is Ichiban, but not like Ichiban from those games I was talking about. I mean it is like him because its the same name but he's not the same guy and you should see him he's sooooooo cute!"

"Sounds nice," Pucci said, seriously concerned for that poor girl's throat, "I'd love to see more of your world for myself."

"Yay!" Zero whooped, then grabbed him by the arm, "Let's get going its gonna be super cool you're gonna love it ooo and Scuba works at a hat shop so you should like buy a hat though your hair is really cool and I kinda wish I had some hair but-"

"Sounds good," Harmony covered Zero's mouth, giggling a little to herself, "We'll show you around town, and have ya meet some of our friends."

"Wonderful," Pucci said, bowing a little, "Thank you very much."

"Don't thank us," Harmony chuckled, "It's the least we could do after dragging you here."

"Yeah..." Pucci smiled, "Still, I will be sure to make it up to you both."

Chapter Text

Naut Couture had always been a cozy spot to hang out. Multiple small fans in the windows, a nice warm orange lighting, and the chill demeanor of its two owners. There was, of course, the third member of their staff, but he had only recently spent a lot of time outside of the hat store's backroom.

Scuba looked so much more lively when Zero and Harmony led Pucci into the store. The priest was a little big, but he seemed fine enough. Scuba waved to the three of them, his smile almost bleeding through the metal mask fused onto his face. He raised his hands a bit, revealing a small spiral shell held in his palms. Tiny tentacles popped out of the shell, accompanied by two bulging eyes.

"Iccchhh!" the baby cried out, wobbling a little bit in his father's hands, "Iccchhh..."

"It's okay, Ichi..." Scuba chuckled, then looked back up at the three customers, "Heya guys! You come here to see Ichiban?"

"Yeh!" Zero ran over to the counter, reached her hand over, and rubbed the baby's shell a little. Ichiban's tentacles wiggled a bit more, but was otherwise unbothered. "Hiya Ichi-Bichi! Where's your other papa?"

"Gneddy and Nails are on a guys day," Scuba giggled, "Guess they thought I was good enough to run the store for myself for a while."

"You are," Harmony said, then knelt down by one of the hat racks, "And speaking of... you have any cute hats for our friend here?"

"Oh, no," Pucci said, holding out his hands, "I don't need a hat at all. Nice to meet you, Mr. Scuba. I'm Enrico Pucci, but you can just call me Pucci."

"Just Scuba's cool," the octoling nodded a little. He was staring at the priest, but then again maybe it was just a trick of the unblinking mask. "So you're a human? What did Spectrum do this time?"

"Not Spectrum," Harmony came back up with a large bobble hat, "Zero accidentally pulled this guy out of her head with weird space crab magic I guess."

"Yaya!" Zero smiled, tickling Ichiban a bit more, "So we're showing him around and stuff! Haven't seen you in a while too so I wanted to check in! You been good?"

"Y-Yeah..." Scuba said, then looked back at Pucci, "So... you have a priest in your head too?"

"Huh?" Zero asked, her smile still wide on her face.

"N-Nothing..." Scuba shivered a bit, bringing Ichiban back to him and nuzzling him a bit. He took a few deep breaths, his eyes locked onto Pucci. "You seem like a cool dude. Nice to meet you, Pucci. Have fun in Splatsville."

"Thank you," Pucci said, but could feel an unease in the air. Harmony had been trying to stick the bobble hat on his head, but her arms were just barely too short to reach his head. "Perhaps we should be going. We don't have anything to buy, anyways."

"You sure?" Zero asked, then looked back to Scuba, "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing," Scuba said, not even looking at her, "I need to feed Ichi..."

He pulled a bottle out from under the desk, holding it over Ichi and letting the baby drink from it. Zero tried to speak to him, but he wouldn't pay any mind to anything but his son. Sighing, Zero admitted defeat and dragged her feet out of the store. Harmony was quick to follow, wrapping her arm around Zero's. Pucci stayed a bit longer, though, his stance firm.

"I can hear him," Pucci said plainly, a voice echoing on the air, "I don't know if it is my faith, or my connection to Zero, but I can hear him. What is he?"

Scuba didn't answer, he didn't look up. Ichiban let out a small happy shout, causing him to smile a little. Pucci stepped forward, but Scuba held his hand out to stop him. The octoling still wouldn't look up, only his hand focussed on Pucci while he kissed his son.

"What is he?" Pucci repeated, "I promise I won't-"

I am his body. I am his mind.

The priest froze, the voice squirming around his head like a parasite. He looked around, though he knew it was all in his head. The voice reignited, a quick blanket of blank white smothering Pucci's vision.

He has a son now. He wants you to leave. He needs the time he has left, before he goes back again. It's a cycle he walks, of destruction and reconstruction. A cycle spinning... always spinning...

"Yo, Pucci!" Harmony banged on the glass from outside, "Zero said she'll buy lunch! Don't worry about him!"

"I..." Pucci turned away from Scuba, his breath heavy, "I don't know what has happened to you, but I hope you know that I pray for you. And for the beast in your mind, I hope that he knows what is coming for him."

The priest walked out of the store, leaving Scuba only with his son. Harmony waited for him outside, her elbow leaned against the railing opposite the doors. She smiled a little, leading him down the stairs and out into the plaza.

"Zero went to get some sandwiches," Harmony said, whistling between her words, "You wanna sit anywhere specific, or...?"

"Beneath that tree," Pucci pointed to a tree by the large set of stairs. They both sat under it, waiting idly for Zero to return. He let out another small breath, taking the whole city in around him. "This place is strange... so strange."

"Don't let Scuba get to you," Harmony said, crossing her legs and rocking them a bit, "Honestly even Zeers doesn't really know what's going on with him. It's best to leave him alone nowadays. I... I don't really like thinking about it."

"He's lost," Pucci said, "He's being manipulated. But I can't tell by who or what. You said he has a husband?"

"Yeah," Harmony sighed, "Gneddy's been dealing with the worst of it. I ask him sometimes what it's like, but he says he doesn't want Scuba to look worse in my eyes. It's a whole mess, to say the least."

Pucci nodded, his hands clasped together and his elbows on his knees. He took another breath, the air so clean in his sinuses. The city around him was bustling with life, but all he could think of was the smell of the octoling he had just met. It was only now that he sensed it, and how it grew stronger as that voice spoke in his head.

Scuba had smelled of motor oil. Burning, sickening motor oil. Nobody else seemed bothered, but Pucci was sure it was not just a problem with himself. There was something nefarious going on in this city, and that single octoling shopkeep was stuck in the dead center of it.

But there was something else that caught his attention. Scuba mentioned a person named Spectrum; someone who Zero had talked about before with Pucci. Someone who knew the multiverse better than anybody else, and was allegedly the reason why Pucci no longer had his stand. Maybe if he could just have Whitesnake back...

"Heya!" Zero waved as she walked over, three sandwiches orbiting around her head. She handed one to Harmony and Pucci, then sat down and took a huge bite out of her own. "MMMH! Nothin' as good as a nice sammich!"

"Yes..." Pucci just looked down at his food. The smell of motor oil still hung in his nostrils, completely murdering his appetite. He stood up, looking around a little. "You ladies know about a person named Spectrum, yes?"

"Huh?" Harmony said through her sandwich, "What do you want with them?"

"I want to talk," he said plainly, "They are the one with knowledge of the multiverse, yes?"

"Yeah!" Zero smiled, "Spectrum's a real cool dude. They have all this cool stuff in their shop that they get from all over! You wanna meet them?"

"Yes," Pucci said, then bowed for good measure, "If you would let me, of course."

"Of course!" Zero giggled, "Just let me finish my sammich and we'll get going!"

"Yes..." Pucci smiled. That octoling was only ever in two states, it seemed. A completely calm, almost lethargic state, and an unending state of going. Going here, going there. Going wherever her mind took her. Grabbing his sandwich, he finally took a bite out of it. "Ooo... this is good! Thank you for buying this."

"No probs!" Zero said, still munching on her sandwich, "Oh, unrelated but do you think I should get a tattoo?"

"A tattoo?" Pucci asked, then thought on it, "Depends on what kind..."

"A big back tattoo!" Zero exclaimed happily, pointing to her back, "It would be a big hermit crab with a meteorite for a shell and her crab legs would reach around to my chest and belly! Like two of the legs would be my shoulders, and the other four would be in pairs of two on my hips!"

"Huh..." Pucci said, furrowing his brow, "I mean... if you really want to..."

"Yay!" Zero then turned and hugged Harmony, "How about you, Harms? You think that'd be cool! Do ya, do ya?"

Pucci chuckled, taking another bite of his sandwich as the two lovebirds kept chirping amongst themselves. She really was a character, wasn't she? Reminded him of some of the people back home, in all honesty. Then again, many of them were scumbags and prisoners, so maybe that wasn't the best comparison.

Chapter Text

Pucci instantly knew exactly what this Spectrum person would be the second he entered their store. The entire place was musty and dank, but held a magical air that was only carried by other stand users. He knew that Spectrum not only had a stand of their own, but one that let them steal the stands of others. If his Whitesnake was anywhere in the multiverse, it would be here.

"Spectruuuuum!" Zero called out, her entire body shaking. That sandwich had put her in some sort of happiness high. "I want you to meet my super cool brain friend Mr. Pucci! He's got a standy thingy just like you too!"

No answer. Pucci could nearly hear some semblance of speech, but it was just the wind blowing through a broken window. He walked over and touched some of the shelves, but even then nothing happened.

"Helloooooo?" Zero asked, peeking under the front desk, "You playin' hide-and-seek, Spectrum?"

"Yeah..." Harmony said, slowly spinning her view around the place, "Where in shell's name is that mantis shrimp? Usually they just... poof out of nowhere. Anything happen with them recently, Zeers?"

"Not that I know of," Zero said, scratching her chin a bit, "Hm... they left everything just like it's supposed to be. Even down to their candle over there that smells like Nami. You know, fruits and stuff."

"I can't tell if you're joking or not," Harmony said plainly.

"Joking about what?" Zero blinked, "Nami does smell like fruits! Lots of 'em! He's a fruity guy!"

Pucci didn't mind those two, doing his own investigation by a way too secure filing cabinet. It wasn't even locked, which allowed him to eventually pry it open with enough elbow grease. Each shelf of the cabinet was full of weird knick-knacks, most likely stolen from other universes. Pucci skimmed over them, not seeing much of substance. He then glanced up, just one of the cabinets too tall for him to look into.

"Zero," he commanded, snapping to grab her attention, "May you float up here and see what's in that cabinet?"

"Sure!"

Zero flipped gravity on herself, walking across the ceiling and then letting go. She fell, only to catch herself by reducing gravity's pull on herself. She stayed floating right in front of the cabinet, and pulled it open using a quick flick of her hands. She glanced inside, but nothing seemed too off about it to her. It was just the usual kind of things Spectrum kept in a cabinet. The action figure of Mint, the Chaos Emerald, the Grandfest T-Shirt. That one was odd, but only because the Grandfest hasn't happened yet in this Canon. One thing did catch her eye, though. A small scale, shining of an iridescent rainbow.

"I found something!" she reported, grabbing the scale and floating back down. Pucci and Harmony huddled behind her, all of them staring at the tiny scale. "It's one of Spectrum's scales... that's weird."

"Wait..." Pucci held out his hand, only to immediately bring it back. He could feel an energy from that scale. Something sickeningly familiar, something dangerous. "Put the scale back."

"Huh?" Zero asked, "But maybe this can help us find Spectrum-"

"Put it back!" Pucci commanded, stepping back a bit, "That... That stand should not exist anymore! It's gone, wiped from all reality! What have they done with it... oh lord..."

The door swung open behind them, the bell ringing out as it usually did. The huge mantis shrimp stood in the doorway, a large bucket hat on their head and fishing gear on their back.

"Honey, I'm ho-ho-holy moly!" Spectrum's eyes widened as they met Pucci's. They then turned to the scale in Zero's hand, the sound of shattering glass emanating from their head. "Zero, what have I told you about sneaking through my stuff!"

"We thought you were missing!" Zero explained, holding up the scale, "Sorry, I forgot today was Fishing Friday!"

"Well, no," Spectrum said, "It's actually Freaky Friday."

"Then what's with the fishing gear?" Harmony asked.

"Freaky," Spectrum replied, like that made any sense.

"YOU!" Pucci announced, instantly grabbing everyone's attention. He was pointing directly at Spectrum, a huge scowl on his face. "What in the name of the good Lord are you doing with THAT stand!?"

"Oh," Spectrum said, glancing over at the scale, "You mean that lil fella? That's just Diver Down. I keep it away from Scuba so he doesn't gay sex his husband with it. He has a kid now, you know."

"That is not Diver Down though, is it?" Pucci snatched the scale from Zero's hands. It nearly burnt the skin of his fingers, the sheer stand energy making him feel lightheaded. "I'd know the feeling of this more than anyone... Spectrum!"

"Woah woah woah how about we just calm down and-"

Pucci ran towards Spectrum at full speed, crushing the scale between his fingers and feeling an instant surge of energy run through his body. A green aura coated the air around him, a hand coming out of his own to assist him in properly clocking the shrimp in the face.

"C-Moon!" Pucci shouted, his punch barely missing Spectrum and hitting the table behind them. The table was instantly crushed to the ground, its legs smashing into splinters.

"Ooo..." Spectrum said, a rainbow aura now glowing around them, "So the new dog knows his old tricks... very nice Pucci-chan."

"Spare yourself the humiliation," Pucci rubbed his hand, his stand now fully forming behind him, "You know that out of all stands to not carry, you chose the worst one."

"Mayhaps," Spectrum giggled, holding their fist over their mouth, "But maybe I secretly wished for this to happen!"

"Huh?"

"You see," Spectrum pointed a fist at the priest, their aura flaring up around them, "I have always wanted to have a true stand battle, with a true stand user! And what better choice than the man who rewrote reality itself! Also helps that you happen to live rent-free in Zeers's head."

"I'm kinda confused," Zero raised her hand.

"Me too," Harmony raised hers as well, "Are you two like, gonna cage-fight or something?"

"Oooo!" Spectrum clapped, "Good idea!"

A white mist filled the entire shack, and next thing they knew, Zero and Harmony were sitting in the stands of a huge wrestling arena. Zero looked around to see all sorts of strange figures around her, seemingly all from different universes. She also somehow now had a bucket of popcorn on her lap, which Harmony was already taking pieces from.

Pucci re-oriented himself, his back now against one of the corners of the ring. Spectrum stood right across from him, looking like an absolute beast with a white fire in their eyes. A huge loudspeaker sounded above them, a microphone now in Spectrum's hands.

"And now, for the main event!" Spectrum shouted, causing the entire audience to let out a rapturous applause, "Spectrum, the reigning champion, versus Enrico Pucci, the man who rewrote Time itself! Will yours truly finally be beaten in this ring? Will this end up being a better fight than any in JoJo's All-Star Battle R? Like seriously I want to love that game but it just feels so ass to play- Anyways! Let the cage match... BEGIN!"

*DING DING DING!*

Chapter Text

It had been weeks since Spectrum and Pucci had been frozen, their fists about to make contact with each other's faces. Zero and Harmony had taken shifts watching the paused combatants, just to make sure one of them could see whenever they decided to break out of their stasis. The entire crowd had also been paused, all but a single man in the front row. He was this strange reptilian man, grey scales shining dimly in the blazing arena lights. Zero had tried talking to him before, but he seemed fast asleep. Harmony tried after, but he just didn't pay her any attention. She wondered if he was actually paused, but he was still blinking and breathing. They now took shifts sitting by the man, wondering if he was the one that caused whatever had happened.

Zero floated into the arena, using the portal that still hung in the air in Spectrum's Emporium of Magic & Shit. She lowered herself to the ground, walking past the silently cheering onlookers and down to Harmony and the dragon man. The dragon man's eyes were closed, while Harmony just had her face buried in her GBA. Zero leaned over her, Harmony's pink tentacles rising a bit and rubbing against her chin.

"Still nothing?" Zero asked, tapping the dragon on the side of the head. He snorted a bit, but gave no other response. "You know, I thought of a few names for him!"

"We're naming him now?" Harmony asked, then glanced over at him, "He looks like a Jason to me."

"Oh," Zero put her hand on her chin. Harmony's tentacles were still tickling her, one of them now wrapping around Zero's wrist. Zero giggled, leaning down and planting a small kiss on her girlfriend's forehead. "I was thinking of just calling him Rocky. Cause his scales kinda look like rocks. I kinda think they look like shingles too but Shingly isn't that good of a name."

"Rocky's good," Harmony said, wiping a bit of drool from her mouth. She stood up, pausing her game and wrapping her arms tightly around Zero. Harmony groaned a little, the cartilage in her back popping. "Ohhhhhhgggg... I've been sitting for so long... how's your day been..."

"It was eh," Zero shrugged, then squished Harmony's back a bit, "It's better now though."

"Cute," Harmony kissed her on the cheek, then gave a quick look to Rocky. She then turned to Spectrum and Pucci, their fists held perfectly still in the air. "I was actually thinking... we don't know how long all of this is gonna be frozen for. How about we just take this day off of watching them? I can't remember the last time we had a night out."

"Like a date?" Zero's face lit up, her feet lifting off of the ground, "I'd love that! Ooh wait, I gotta get dressed in something nice and fancy then!"

"Me too," Harmony smiled a little, following after Zero as she ran out of the arena.

~~~

Zero walked out of the bathroom, extra makeup added around her eyes and glitter on her eyelids. She was in this lovely tube-top, as well as a thin but still very pretty skirt. Under this admittedly simple outfit was her beautiful blue lingerie, which could be seen down her arms, legs, and midriff. Her tentacles weren't tied back, instead being woven into a single long braid. To cap it all off, she had dipped her fingertips in cyan dye and had slipped a pair of thin sandals onto her feet.

"Sooooo..." her eyes sparkled as she did a little spin in her dress, her skirt billowing slightly and her braid swinging off her right shoulder and flipping over to her left. "How do I look?"

Harmony stood there for a second, now feeling slightly suffocated in her simple dress. She knew Zero loved it, though, as it was the one she always wore on their dates. She slapped herself mentally, smiling warmly and booping Zero on the nose with a finger.

"It looks lovely," she then did a little twirl herself, "How about me?"

"You look so pretty!" Zero said, a dull grey blush dusting her cheeks, "A-And the dress is lovely too! Hehe."

"Thanks," Harmony gave her a quick smooch, then grabbed a purse and slung it over her shoulder. They walked out of the apartment and across the hall, quickly getting into an already open elevator. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Huh?" Zero blinked a few times, "O-Oh, I thought you already decided!"

"Nah," Harmony stared off at the ceiling for a second, "I just kinda wanted to hang out. Didn't have any specific ideas. I am kinda hungry though... you can choose though, Zeers."

"How about sushi?" Zero asked, batting her eyelashes a little, "Pleaaaaaaase?"

"Hehe of course~" Harmony nearly fell over from Zero jumping on her, nuzzling aggressively against her, "Ah- you're so cute, you know that?"

"Eeeeeee thankiessss!" Zero giggled to herself, floating a few feet off the ground as they left the elevator. She began humming to herself, spinning around in the air. She was practically dancing midair by the time they got to the sushi restaurant, her head nearly hitting the doorframe. "Ah-!"

"Watch yourself!" Harmony chuckled, sitting down at the sushi bar. She pulled Zero down, making sure she didn't fall off of the stool. She then handed a menu to Zero, grabbing one for herself and scrolling through it. "What're you thinking of getting?"

"The Fisherman's Dream," Zero pointed at the menu, "And an Original Ramune."

"They have Ramune?" Harmony flipped to the back, eyeing the drinks, "Ooooo, I think I'll get a yuzu one."

They looked up at the man making the sushi, a pink-tentacled octoling with a blank expression on his face. He spoke no words, but was already preparing their order. Harmony couldn't even see as he swiftly handed them both their drinks, and had placed a small complementary bowl of miso down for each of them.

"Good service," Harmony sipped a bit of the miso, then looked back at the menu, "Oh, and I'd like some takoyaki, if you don't mind."

The octoling nodded, then bent down and pulled out a large knife. Harmony and Zero stared at him in awe as he chopped the tip of his tentacle off, throwing the squishy meat onto a cutting board and dicing it into smaller pieces. He slapped a towel on his head to absorb the bleeding ink, then rolled each bit of his tentacle in small dough balls. He dropped each one carefully into a fryer before going back to the sushi, sliding it out in front of Zero in less than a minute.

"Wow!" Zero shoved a piece of sushi into her mouth, "MMMMM! You're really good at this, mister! You new here?"

The octoling just nodded, plating the takoyaki and drizzling mayo and a thick black sauce over them. He then delicately placed a few fish flakes on each one, adjusting them so they were in a nice circle on the plate. He slid the plate out to Harmony, then kept working as though he were some kind of machine.

"Dude, these are spectacular," Harmony chewed happily on one of the takoyaki balls, huffing between each bite to cool it down, "Who knew octoling tentacles could taste this good?"

"Hmm..." Zero thought for a moment, "What if we tried making some of our own with mine? They're very long!"

"Zeers, we don't even have a fryer!" Harmony giggled, then pulled herself closer to her girlfriend, "But I'd love to eat your tentacles anytime~"

The octoling man rolled his eyes, but otherwise was unfazed. He was unrelenting when it came to getting stuff done, it was probably why he didn't speak much. Hell, he once had a bunch of burst bombs stuck to his tentacles, and he was still able to keep up the pace!

"Hehehe-!" Zero laughed as Harmony chewed on one of her tentacles, "I put a buncha stuff to make them smell nice, don't bite 'em now!"

"Agh-!" Harmony drank a bunch of water to drown out the taste of perfume, "Yeah, ugh, probably should've expected that..."

"You're silly!" Zero beamed, then looked back at the octoling man behind the bar. She looked outside, at the colors of the moment strolling by to go somewhere or other. "You know... this whole city is kinda silly. It's a very silly world we live in."

"Yeah-" Harmony shoved another takoyaki into her mouth, "They don't call it the City of Anarchy for nothing."

"Mh-hm..." Zero said, her smile dimming a bit as she held her gaze outside. She didn't know why it began to fall, it was just this strange thought that entered her brain. "You know... it is very silly, yeah. But-"

"Something on your mind?" Harmony asked, placing her hand on Zero's.

"I just wonder sometimes," Zero thought about how to word it, "I wonder if there's a time when it'll all feel like this. This one amazing moment. For everybody. And I wanna make that happen, but I also wanna just stay here with you."

"Zeers..." Harmony ran her hand through Zero's braid, her rainbow eyes looking straight through her girlfriend, "You've helped so many people, probably more than you'll ever know. You shouldn't worry about saving everybody, you'll just end up making yourself sadder. Help those you can, and that already makes it all worthwhile."

"I..." Zero looked at Harmony, only to pull her close and wrap her in a huge hug. Their lips locked, eyes closed as light tears streamed down her face. "I love you. I love you so, so much."

"I love you too," Harmony said quietly, patting Zero on the back, "More than you'll ever know."