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Deep inside the mushroom towers of Tel Mithryn, Master Neloth was having trouble concentrating. In order to get to the level of Neloth’s skill, one requires great focus and discipline in studying the Arcane; lately, however, he found himself distracted by the Breton woman who had become a permanent fixture of his life.
Looking up from the tome he had been reading, or rather trying to read but needing to reread each paragraph multiple times to understand it, he eyes her. She’s hunched over all the floor by her bedroll, book open, deep in focus. Whatever he was reading is now long forgotten as he studies her face; she has the front pieces of her short white hair tied back out of her face, as she often did while working, her face scrunched intently reading whatever it was. I shall pick it up after to see what it is he thought. There was always the option of asking her what she was reading but then she would know he was looking at her, or at least paid attention to her long enough to know she was so entranced by something.
And this was precisely Neloth’s problem, ever since their fake marriage ploy for her sister, he had found himself paying more attention to Rochelle. Much more than he paid to the other members of his house. He noticed how her tea went cold because she was busy reading or listening to him, how she began rubbing off on him; even being able to convince him to start doing stretches for his health. But most of all, he noticed how much he was aware of her absence when she went to Raven Rock on a supply run. He snapped himself out of it, fearing if he stared at her too long he’d never look away.
Initially he reacted negatively to these feelings, he thought of kicking her out but he didn’t want to go back to how it was with just Talvas and the staff. Avoiding her was out of the question, considering she lived there. Everything boiled down to what he was most afraid of, he’d have to act on these feelings. Though he may be an expert on destruction magic, enchanting and a host of other topics, he was quite clueless on romantic emotions. Shutting the book promptly, he leaves to find Talvas the blasted boy is probably still outside struggling with that spell.
“Talvas! Talvas” he shouts outside the tower, causing Talvas to fumble the spell he was in the middle of.
“Master Neloth, I’m sorry I will get the handle of this spell soon I just need-”
“I’m not here to see the spell you fool.” Neloth lowers his voice to say the next part, looking around to make sure no one is within earshot. “I need your opinion on a serious matter.” Likewise Talvas also lowers his voice.
“What’s going on? Is there a plot against you? Should we raise the defenses?”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that.” Rubbing his temples for a moment and taking a very deep breath, he says it “I have developed feelings, romantic feelings, for Rochelle and I am unsure how to proceed.” A smile beams from Talvas’s face and already Neloth is regretting coming to him for help. Beginning to feel embarrassed, he turns to walk away, muttering “this was a mistake I’ll just kick her out.”
“No no no wait Master Neloth, I, um, I’m not making fun of you. I’m happy for you, Rochelle would be the perfect match for you.” He tries to ignore the comment, but a small part of Neloth’s heart twinges when Talvas says that.
“How do I proceed?”
“If I were you, I would try to spend some alone time with her, maybe outside of research. Spend some time together and let her know how you feel.” Talvas pauses for a moment, when an idea occurs to him. “She is heading to Raven Rock tomorrow right? I normally accompany her, perhaps you could go with her this time? As a way to spend some time together outside of here.” Neloth had a puzzled look on his face.
“And leave you alone here? Absolutely not, we’d come back and the place would be in flames!”
“Master Neloth, do you truly think I would accidentally destroy Tel Mithryn?” Without hesitation he answers.
“Yes” Talvas goes to sigh but stops himself, fearing it would be yet another thing he would be chewed out for. Instead he thinks Geez, he really makes it difficult to help him and offers a solution instead.
“Here I’ll agree to stay out all day that way nothing bad happens so you can spend some time with Rochelle. That work fine for you?”
“Hmmm, very well. If you believe this is the best way to proceed.” Talvas offers him a smile to which Master Neloth just rolls his eyes. He’ll thank me someday.
It is at dinner later that night that Neloth tells Rochelle he will be joining her instead of Talvas.
“Talvas has that stack of books to get through so he will not be able to accompany you tomorrow. Instead I will be.” Rochelle finishes the bite of ash yam she was chewing before answering. “That is fine by me. I was planning to spend the night at the Retching Netch, is that suitable or would you prefer to head back immediately after obtaining the supplies?”
“Staying overnight is fine, you know I don’t sleep. I shall bring some work with me.” Rochelle nods in agreement and they finish dinner. After their meal, Talvas stops Neloth, making sure he is out of reach of Rochelle.
“I don’t suppose that ‘stack of books’ you mentioned was just a ruse?” Talvas smiles weakly at him. Neloth says nothing. “I’ll get right to it, Master Neloth.”
“Make sure you read them outside, as per our prior agreement.”
“Yes Master Neloth”
It is a rare clear morning, or at least as clear as it can get in Solstheim. Looking up at the sky Rochelle could almost make out the sun amidst the thick ash. Neloth was giving Talvas some last minute reminders. In the year and a half Rochelle had been there, she had never seen Neloth leave the grounds of Tel Mithryn. She was impressed he was leaving to accompany her, she intended to pick his brain on the journal she was reading yesterday. It was a journal she found long ago, although after her training with Neloth; she had new insights on what she originally thought were just the ravings of a madman.
They bid Talvas farewell and started the journey to Raven Rock which would take them until midday to get to. The trip was thankfully uneventful. Ever since she cleared out Fort Frostmoth for Captain Veleth, the rate of ash spawn had gone down significantly. Her arrival in Solstheim was exclusively because she heard there was a Telvanni Wizard there and she was hoping to work in some part with him, primarily because she knew the Telvanni were more.. tolerant of taboo practices then the College of Winterhold, where she was at previously. However, she spent her first few months in Raven Rock proving her value to the citizens. Naturally, being as down on their luck as they were, the people were quite distrusting of outsiders. This led to a long series of events that involved her taking down an undead Imperial Commander, ousting a traitorous family and getting the Ebony Mine up and running again.
Finally, after all that she was free to go to Tel Mithryn, where she had the pleasure of proving she was worthy of working with Master Neloth. I’ve been on this island for nearly two years, she thought. The climate was harsh, life was dangerous but she had spent her childhood with her Forsworn witch mother and later her noble father in High Rock; so Morrowind was merely a combination of the harsh life of the Reach and the complex politics of High Rock.
On the journey Master Neloth explained to her the differences between most widely available staffs and Azra Nightwielder staffs, which apparently differed not just in their materials, but also craftsmanship. She liked listening to Neloth, she liked it a lot. Many had warned her about going to Tel Mithryn, saying the wizard there was crazy and reckless. But for Rochelle, she wanted that. She sought ancient and secret knowledge, where others saw recklessness, Rochelle saw genius. You do not uncover the secrets of the universe without going a bit mad, besides she was a bit mad herself.
They arrived at Raven Rock a bit before midday, thanks to the lack of excitement on the journey. She tells Neloth the list of things to do in town.
“There is a package of new kitchen utensils and I’ve got to stop by the Blacksmith to pick up some jewelry I ordered.”
“For enchanting?” Is all he says. She nods in return. They stop by the shipyard and obtain the package, the package is not large so it can fit in the satchel Rochelle brought. While walking throughout town, they received many confused glances. At first, Rochelle assumed it was her, but after realizing everyone staring at them were people she knew, such as Aphia Velothi. It was then that it dawned on her, they were staring at Neloth. It made sense, as far as she knew he had not been here since he arrived in Solstheim. That had to be decades ago.
Master Neloth noticed the stares too, it did not bother him, he couldn’t even remember the names of these people, as far as he was concerned they were in awe of him. As they should be, he was likely one of the few individuals in Tamriel who earned his sizable ego. He noticed that when they approached the Blacksmith, he shuddered and avoided looking at Neloth. Even better, he thought. It was better to be feared and respected than loved, or so he had thought. But when he saw the jewelry Rochelle bought, several plain silver rings, he felt compelled to buy her something nicer. She was a member of his house after all, she should be able to wear nice things.
By the time they are done with their errands, plus the time Rochelle took to talk with the Second Councilor’s wife, it was already dark.
“Sorry about that, I normally grab tea with Cindiri when I’m in town, I’m not a great conversationalist but she seems to find some comfort in my presence.” Neloth was hungry, he hadn’t eaten nor had so much as a tea since they left. He may be able to go without sleep but food was an entirely different matter. Yet he managed to silence his internal complaining enough, saying only “No matter.”
Going down the stairs to the main area of the Retching Netch, Neloth is pleased to find they missed the dinner rush. Grabbing a table as far from anyone else as he can, Neloth sits as Rochelle goes up to the bar to order them food. Neloth spies the barkeep talking with Rochelle, talking to her much longer than it would take to simply order food. The barkeep says something that makes Rochelle chuckle, covering her mouth to hide her laughter. He’s not sure what he’s experiencing, it has been centuries since he felt anything like this. She comes to Raven Rock once a week and presumably she stays here each time. Surely he’s not… before he can finish that thought, she returns with two bowls of horker stew, placing one in front of Neloth.
“Unfortunately the only thing left after the dinner rush is horker stew, I hope that is sufficient.”
“It should be adequate, it is only for one night.” They begin eating their stew when the barkeep stops by their table, holding a tray with sujamma on it.
“Care to try my special sujamma blend?” Neloth goes to scoff, wondering what his angle is, until he sees Rochelle grab a jar, thanking him. Likewise he takes a jar, taking a swig. By the three, how did he manage to screw up something as fundamental as sujaama?
Rochelle on the other hand, takes a swig and proclaims it is well-crafted.
“It’s got a pleasant aftertaste, a slight snowberry taste.”
“Ah you caught that, always perspective Rochelle. That’s why you’re the best at what you do.” A tint of redness appears on her face, clearly not used to praise.
“That’s um, quite kind of you Geldis.” The barkeep, Geldis he supposes, takes his leave and Rochelle chugs the rest of her drink. Much to Neloth’s astonishment. He clears his throat.
“You have managed to adapt well to Dunmer culture, not many outlanders fare well here.”
“Thank you” she says “It’s nothing new for me.” He cocks an eyebrow at her, intrigued. He knew a bit of her past, she had left what passes as a College in Skyrim, to seek more serious instruction with him; and of course he had met her sister, an ordeal that was. But he realized at that moment that he did not know much about her past.
“Explain” he states. She looks down, fiddling with her soup spoon.
“I fear you may think less of me if I tell you.”
“I doubt that will be the case.” Rochelle pauses for a moment then elaborates.
“I grew up in the Reach, in Southwestern Skyrim.” She looks back up at him. “When I was about 10 or so, I moved to my father’s estate in High Rock. It was quite the culture shock but I was forced to quickly adapt to the customs of high society.”
“I did not know you were from the Reach, then why were you known as Rochelle of Evermore?”
She laughs a bit and Neloth realizes he likes the sound of her laugh. Normally trivial jokes and amusement annoy him to know end. Foolish drivel to entertain the common folk; but when the laughter is coming from her it is different. It’s different because he is the one causing it, albeit inadvertently.
“Would you believe Rochelle is not my real name?” Face contorting slightly, he asks.
“What is your real name then?”
She takes a moment to answer, clearly deciding if she should share this secret.
“Mochveda, it’s an old family name. I was born Mochveda of the Reach, but my father changed mine and Colette’s names when we moved in with him. Partly to help us assimilate and partly to cover up the fact we were ‘his wild bastards’ from the Reach.” He’s not proud of it, but a part of him is shocked that someone from the Reach could possess such an affinity for magic, magic in humans was already rare let alone in someone from such a primitive place. Not that I should let her know that he thought. He may not be the best with feelings but even he could tell it would be ill-advised to let someone you had feelings know you thought they were from a primitive place. Remembering how she responded to Geldis’s praise, he decided to attempt it himself.
“Not only are you a great mind but you are culturally savvy.” The redness appears on her face, deeper this time and she averts her gaze from him but smiles widely.
“Thank you Neloth, you’re too kind.” No I am not, he thinks.
They sit in a comfortable silence as they finish their meal, before Rochelle retires to her room. “You really should sleep occasionally”
“And why is that?”
“Sleep promotes brain health, also, my mother taught me that dreams are keys to other worlds.” He just looks at her. “Say what you will about the Reach, there is ancient powerful magic there.”
“Perhaps one day I will get to meet your mother.” He attempts to humour her again but receives the opposite reaction, a mortified look on her face.
“For your sake I hope not.”
They bid each other good night and Neloth cracks open one of the books he brought. It takes him only a few moments before his mind starts to get distracted. His mind races with conflicting thoughts of knocking on her room door and confessing versus pushing his feelings down and repressing them. In a rare moment, in a day full of them, his heart wins and he finds himself knocking on her door before he can fully process what is happening.
“Yes Master Neloth, I mean Neloth” Apologies for using his title after he told her it was fine to use first names when they were alone. She had changed out of her black robes into a red cotton dress. He had seen her in sleepwear before but it felt different this time. Perhaps it was the intimacy of being at her door or what he was about to say.
“Rochelle, may I have come in? I have a private matter to discuss.” She nods and closes the door behind him and the confined space makes Neloth feel like he is going to suffocate. His gaze falters a bit, before settling on her, deciding it is most important to address her directly in order to increase odds of success. Clearing his throat first, he lets it out.
“Since you have become a fixture in my life and at Tel Mithryn, I have developed feelings for you. Romantic feelings, specifically and I would like to pursue some form of companionship, if you are inclined.” The redness creeps back up to Rochelle’s face, which causes a wave of relief to wash over Neloth.
“I would like that, I would very much like that.” She continues “but if we are going to have a relationship there is something you must know first.” He gives her space to keep going. “I’ve only had one prior relationship, and it deeply scarred me, so much that I haven’t considered romance an option up until several weeks ago, thanks to you.”
“Do you want to tell me about your last relationship?”
“It was not right, and I understand that now, I should have told someone what was going on but I was too ashamed.”
“What were you ashamed of?” His voice has an unusual gentleness to it, a gentleness that causes Rochelle to choke up a bit.
“He was my last mentor, my father hired him when it was clear I had progressed beyond self study. I thought he cared for me but once he got… what he was after he turned cold on me. Telling me I had seduced him, caught him in a moment of weakness and that no one would believe me. I really thought he cared for me.”
“Then he is a fool, simply not worthy of your attention.”
“I know that but he looked at me the way every woman wants to be looked at. Like I was the most breathtaking woman in the world. He nurtured my talent, praised me and called me beautiful; no one has ever called me beautiful before. Colette is the beautiful one, I am the smart one. I prefer to be valued for my mind but there’s a part of me, a part which I loathe, that wants to be beautiful.” She sighs before continuing “I know it wasn’t right, what he did, I was far too young for that kind of relationship, and even so he was an authority figure, but it felt good to be wanted.” There is a moment of pause between them, not an unpleasant one, until Rochelle spoke again “my apologies, you must think I’m a mess, so emotionally broken. But I say all this to let you know where I’m coming from when it comes to relationships and… I want to try something with you; but I need to know it will be different this time.” Tears begin to form in her eyes “I can’t go through that again.” Confessing was already more emotional than he was used to but Rochelle was being vulnerable with him; and he knew how difficult that was for people like them.
“No need to apologize, going through such a relationship, to be used at a young age, will certainly leave a mark.” Neloth takes her hand in his and gives it a slight squeeze, “to ease your mind I will make my intentions clear. I want nothing more than to spend time with you, in any capacity.” Her eyes have found their way to the ground, so he takes his other hand and tilts her chin up. “And when I return to Vvardenfell I would like you to accompany me.”
“I would like that.” Finding the courage he moves in to kiss her, half-expecting her to move away, but she doesn’t. A thought starts to form, something about how he should thank Talvas when they return. But when their lips connect, any thoughts either of them had disappears.