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Chapter Text

Once upon a time, there was a prince who killed his father.

The prince was only a child. He did not intend anything of the sort when he innocently pointed to his uncle the King's crown and said he thought it looked pretty. Nor did he have any idea of the conspiracies that followed, or the reason for his uncle's sudden death, but he was well aware that he killed his father when, blinded by the poison of hatred, the once Queen stabbed his father on coronation day.

She had no proof, there was no way she had any, but there it was, the knife dagger stained crimson as it came out of his father's chest. The woman laughing madly as she repeated:

"All for that crown, for that stupid crown, look how the damn crown saves you!"

Of course, it didn't.

His father died and the prince was left with the sound of the knife tearing the skin, the image of his pale father turning his eyes towards him, paralyzed on the door sill, as if he wanted to tell him something, the thought that, if he had kept his mouth shut, none of this would have happened.

His aunt was imprisoned and the prince came first in succession to the throne, but he was too young.

As king he had had no education, and the nobles feared —or so they said— that anyone could manipulate him at their convenience, so they chose as regent the next in line, some distant uncle, and the prince's instruction began.

Life was not easy when he had several classes on various subjects a day, things that did not interest him in the least, but the prince was very clever and could get around them. He would have been fine if it hadn't been for his mother.

The prince's mother who was sensitive, too sensitive for that world full of treachery and hatred, could not bear the death of her husband and, a woman who had always brightened the world and attracted attention wherever she went, never smiled again. The prince would sneak off to visit her and do what he could to cheer her up, but she was broken.

What had once been his family, who had given the world for him, was over.

Because of him, he knew.

But the prince shut up, waiting for the world to move again, to redeem himself somehow or simply drown in pain until someone else ended him.

Perhaps his mother understood that the prince was no less sensitive than she was, that this world was only there to use him or tear him down at the convenience of political tensions that kept rising because one day she stood up and convinced the nobles of a crazy idea.

The prince would go live far away, study on his own where no one could harm him until he was ready. Or so they said.

The truth was that everyone was happy to get rid of the prince. A king with no knowledge of the world was nothing more than an assured pawn for greedy nobles. But the prince's mother hoped they would forget about him forever.

-

Once upon a time, there was a prince locked in a castle guarded by a beast.

The bards said that whoever crossed the castle and killed the beast could get the most beautiful man who ever existed. Golden hair that surrounded a sweet immaculate face, crimson eyes that looked at the world with the innocence of ignorance, pink lips like a heart for whoever wanted to take them.

Someone who had lived all his life locked up, how could he not fall for the first one who was kind to him? For whoever rescued the prince from the tower would keep not only his heart but the kingdom as well.

Tempting it was, for there was no kingdom that did not try to get through the dragon to get the prince, but there was no kingdom that succeeded either.

Thus, more than ten years passed and the story began.

-

Twenty years after the death of his father, the prince had to face the loss of his caretaker.

When the prince arrived there, he was no more than ten years old. What would have become of him had it not been for the dragoness who, out of curiosity, agreed to care for the young heir to the throne.

She was a huge dragoness; she could not enter standing in the high corridors of the palace. Her serpentine form was adorned with gray scales, which, although opaque, did not spoil the majestic air of the beast. The look in her large, slitted blue eyes and her claws that were perfectly capable of tearing a man's chest would make the bravest warrior shudder. Even without the scary stories about evil dragons, she was enough to instill fear, and more than one knight fled without a fight when she towered over them.

Despite the contract, no one in their right mind would have dared approach the dragon.

Of course, no matter how much he pretended to when he said goodbye, the prince was not in his right mind.

By then, he had endured years of study and effort, of trying to please his mother just to see her smile one more time, and suddenly even that didn't make sense. His mother had abandoned him. He was now totally alone.

The past was pointing the finger at him. The future held nothing for him but books, practice, and dark, silent hallways.

A child should not feel such despair.

So, sometime after arriving, he approached the dragoness. His steps did not even falter. Dead eyes met the dragoness' glowing eyes and he only wished she would rise up and crush him.

That didn't happen.

He made it to her side without the dragoness moving an inch.

He didn't know what to do. He hadn't expected to get this far.

Now he had those intelligent eyes in front of him. He felt as if she was assessing his soul, and he almost expected her to pronounce him guilty and they would be the last thing he saw before the darkness engulfed him.

That didn't happen.

He lifted his hand and it brushed the scales. They were hard, but the edges were filed. The prince flinched and the dragon squinted. The prince imagined that the scales would then give way to large fangs that would tear his skin like paper.

That did not happen.

He stood stroking the scales under the monster's watchful gaze, and his gaze passed between the sheen of the cloaks and the bandages that covered his stupid hands, burned and cut by his poor attempts not to starve to death. He wondered if it was worth trying.

Nothing happened.

Soon his shoulders began to shake.

"Why?" He didn't expect an answer. "You'll be free if you kill me, wouldn't you rather do anything than take care of someone like me?" Oh, the air was escaping from his lungs. "Why don't you get it over with? No one's going to come after me anyway, who's going to care?"

He opened his eyes wide as if the tears were going to stay inside like that.

Thus, the prince saw clearly when the dragoness snorted. Hot air escaped from her snout and, from one second to the next, gray smoke blew toward him and enveloped him. Only then did the prince stagger back, and to his surprise, all his senses were activated.

The prince thought he would accept it, but there he stood, unable to see anything, and the first thing that came to his mind was ‘I don't want to die.’

He did not die.

Out of the mist, hands reached for him, and before he could do anything, he was caught in arms.

He struggled in vain, for the grip was much stronger than his own. Although he had not yet been torn apart, a hand was slowly stroking his hair and the fear became rougher. Then he heard a voice.

"Shh, it's all right, my boy," and the voice was old, or as he would say, wise. Gentle. Comforting. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Then he realized.

He was being hugged.

The prince still didn't know why, but his chest was already tightening in on itself and his legs trembled. She could be lying. The prince didn't care when, at that moment, tears welled up and he could only cling to the dragoness to cry for his shattered heart.

In that way, the prince discovered that this dragoness was one of the few who could shape-shift. The dragoness, who was very curious, heard rumors that the heir would be sent to a tower and wondered what the humans were thinking, leaving such an important child by himself. It also turned out that the dragoness was very curious about that specific palace. An architectural marvel, she defined it. So, she accepted a contract to take care of the unfortunate prince.

"In principle, I did not intend to reveal myself," she admitted when the prince calmed down and looked at her with fascination from the sofa, "but no creature with a heart could leave a child alone."

The prince gained a caretaker.

The dragoness was by his side for years. She told him stories of the dragons and rumors of the humans, guarded the prince from the greed of his peers. She brought him new things to entertain himself, she told him about the world. She taught him of buildings and palaces with such passion that the young man could not help but look at his own in a different light. For the first time in years, the prince felt excited to learn about something. At some point, the dragoness became something more like a grandmother, and that's what he called her. The loneliness stopped feeling so oppressive, though the guilt never died down.

The prince was in his early twenties when she sought him out.

"I'm going to die soon," she announced casually.

The prince almost choked.

"How? Why? You don't look bad, why do you say that?"

He couldn't believe it, but anxiety was already creeping up his limbs, for the dragoness would never have made such a cruel joke.

"I can feel it in my bones and in my scales. Death catches up with every creature, and I have already lived longer than I should have." She hugged the prince and, as if reading his mind, whispered, "It's all right, my boy, you won't be alone."

"How...?"

Or rather, 'who?'

Who else would want to be with a prince cut off from the world? Who else but to pursue a kingdom that no one wanted to give him? And in the end, he didn't deserve it. Neither of them.

She was gone.

And it was true. She did not return.

Not a week had passed when the prince saw a new army arrive at the palace gates. As they passed, there was no one to stop them. He thought that was it.

Then he saw him.

A flash of green.

The dragon advanced like lightning and landed in front of the knights.

The snake glistened through its lustrous emerald scales. He was massive. Very massive. Soaring with his long wings in his full form, he could easily reach the second floor of the palace, and so the prince saw them. Those teal eyes with crimson centers pierced his soul with a single glance, making his legs turn to jelly. He could not have imagined how the knights he turned to felt. However, the prince could not take his eyes off him. Regardless of his size, his movements were calculated, smooth, majestic. From the sharp fangs, through its glowing figure and up to its pointed tail, he took his breath away, for the prince had never seen a more magnificent creature.

Finally, it took only a few minutes for the knights to flee.

Just like that, as soon as the knights were out of sight, the dragon stretched his wings again and soared up, ready to leave.

The prince didn't think about it. Captivated, spellbound by his beauty, as well as tormented by loneliness, he climbed into the window frame and called out:

"Wait!"

Ah, but the dragon only glanced at him, without stopping.

He would have to blame it on anxiety and excitement. He was only trying to move forward a little more, to stretch out his arm as if he could reach him, but his foot slipped and suddenly his support was gone. The air whipped him hard as he fell, and at that instant, the prince looked up and thought only,

'If it's to see him up close...'

But the dragon was no longer in place.

The fall stopped and he found himself in a field of emerald green.

He didn't get to process it, the softness of the scales beneath him, the raspiness of the tips, or the warmth of the dragon's body beneath his, not until they landed and the dragon stared at him with those slitted eyes that watched more than anyone could ever get to see of him as if he wanted him to get off. He did so despite himself.

The prince felt stupid. And yet he had been caught.

"You have to listen to people!," he complained, pointing at the tower. "If I had fallen, I really would have died, you know? I just wanted to talk to you..."

The dragon snorted and his warm breath hit the young man, but he didn't try to leave so fast this time and the prince wasn't intimidated at all. He was, on the other hand, extremely in awe as he circled around the dragon.

Truth is, this wasn't the first time they had seen each other. The prince had seen him a couple of times, late at night, approaching his grandmother in the distance. There was never enough light to get a good look at him, but even then, a glance made the prince shudder. He knew the dragon had seen him too. When he asked, his grandmother had only said he was her grandson, the real one, and that he wasn't very social, like most of his kind. The prince would have been lying if he said he wasn't curious, but there was also a question caught in his throat.

"Thank you for saving me," he finished, "I— My grandmother— no, your grandmother..."

In the end, the prince couldn't say the words and the dragon couldn't answer either. The creature looked away from him, looking into the distance, in the direction from which the dragoness used to come when she went out. There was no one there. And there wouldn't be again. He understood.

The prince wished he had something to say, but his heart squeezed at the confirmation, and, try as he might, he could not hold back the tears. And if there was anyone who would understand then—

The dragon's eyes opened wide when he saw him cry. The prince could only cover his face thinking how stupid he must have looked, and yet, still...

"I'm sorry," his voice was still surprisingly clear, until it wasn't, "Could you— s-stay for a moment?"

The prince remembered his grandmother once saying that no creature with a heart could leave a child alone. He was no longer a child, but the dragon did not leave. He let the young man lean against him and cry until he could swallow the feeling and smile again as if it were all right.

A thought crossed his mind at that moment.

"Your grandmother said I wasn't going to be alone, did she mean you?"

The dragon tilted his head in affirmation. And it was massive. Very massive. It could devour a grown man in one bite. But he had been careful when he was fighting the knights and none of them had died. But he had not hesitated to save it. Anyone else might have been terrified having him close enough to lean against his back.

Not the prince.

He found that, perhaps, he might enjoy his presence.

"I was told your name is Alhaitham. I am Kaveh, pleased to meet you."

So, Kaveh found company.

Chapter Text

Despite how long it took him to appear the first time, Alhaitham began to visit the palace frequently.

Some dragons could talk, some could shape-shift, some could deceive and try to destroy the world. Kaveh knew that much. Alhaitham didn't talk or shape-shift, so Kaveh assumed he was one of those who couldn't, but it didn't bother him. He could speak for both of them.

At first, Alhaitham stayed only a short time. Whenever he saw him coming, Kaveh would go out of his way to go with him. He would lie on him as he had never done with anyone, and his warmth never failed to ease his sorrows. He would tell him of his studies and life in the palace (which was not very exciting), but also of life with his grandmother. He would drop stories here and there, of how she took care of him and guided his studies. He had many compliments for her intelligence and wisdom, and Alhaitham seemed to agree.

So, a few months later, Kaveh began going around with Alhaitham, excitedly showing him the parts of the palace that the dragon could enter. He would fill him with comments of the things he would like to change if he had materials. That this pillar was poorly placed, that this space was too empty. In the end, he still liked it a lot, so he gladly took the opportunity to talk to someone about it. In the same way, he told him about the rooms he could not enter.

“Do you know how to read?” He asked him one day, and Alhaitham bowed his head in response. “You wouldn't believe the library I have, there are so many books that even I haven't read them all yet. Well, at least there's one that—” He cleared his throat. “I'm sure you would love it, there are books from floor to ceiling!”

Alhaitham's eyes widened with interest and Kaveh smiled. He soon felt down again.

“The books I can read to you,” he said grimly, “but if you could shape-shift, I could show you the other places and maybe... youcouldliveherewithme.” The last sentence came out fast and unclear. He blushed and hurried to cover it, “Ah! I'll look for a book to read to you next time, okay?”

And he looked away, casually covering his face, so he didn't see the dragon's reaction, how his pupils dilated watching the prince, or the interest in his gaze.

Alhaitham left as usual, so it didn't take Kaveh long to (more or less) forget what he had said.

Or he would have if it weren't for what happened that night.

Kaveh had just finished eating and had taken off his trimmings to go to bed to read some architecture book his grandmother had left him, so he was only in blouse and pants —as naked as he allowed himself to be. He was so immersed that he didn't even notice the sound of wings in the night, but he was very aware of footsteps. By the time they were around the corner.

Tap, tap, tap.

Kaveh jumped up and picked up his sword, positioning himself just as he had learned. His head began to spin, but he also felt his mind clearer than ever.

Who was stupid enough to come to a dragon's palace alone?

No, were they actually smart?

A single person was more likely to escape the dragon's sight at night, they might think, but that was only because Alhaitham wasn't there. His hearing was too good.

They weren't supposed to seek to hurt him, but Kaveh couldn't get out of his head the possibility that someone in favor of the regent king might want to kill him.

Oh, if only he could measure his skills with a sword. It had been too many years since he had practiced on someone else. His grandmother was not much of a sword lover, not so when it was the weapon humans were passionately trying to kill her with.

Even with nerves eating at him, he didn't let his voice waver.

“Who's there?,” he asked when the footsteps stopped in front of the door. “I’m telling you now, I'm armed!”

There was no answer.

The moment of silence only served to make him hear clearly the heart beating in his ear.

The doorknob turned.

Kaveh held his breath.

Then the door opened, and a figure straight from the mind of a Greek sculptor stepped inside.

A second ago, he was holding his breath on purpose, but, at that moment, he forgot how to breathe.

His face, not an imperfection would dare to stain it. Long lips opened when he saw Kaveh, and so did his piercing blue-green eyes with a crimson center. He stared at him, as if he wanted to discover his every secret with a glance. The familiarity of those eyes assaulted him. Or that eye, for one was covered by his gray hair which, unruly, encircled his face and reached past his shoulders.

Looking down with his hair, Kaveh thought he would choke. Broad shoulders were followed by exercised arms, and made him imagine how they could easily encircle him, trap him, strangl—. Kaveh's mind found its way to his chest, marked by muscles. Large, they could fit in his hands, perfect so he could drown in— No.

His gaze slid a little lower, and he could swear he was drooling at the line of his crotch. Then ruby eyes met two monstrous legs coming down from his crotch and jumped back up immediately.

Shit, those weren't legs.

Blood rushed up to his face so fast it might as well have gone down his nose, but it didn't because there was some that traveled just as fast to his crotch.

That son of a bitch was naked.

“You—! Who are you?!” His brain locked up, but luckily, he didn't drop his sword even though his hands were shaking. “C-coming to someone's room in the middle of the night, what—?”

No, two of those, couldn't be normal, could it? Too big. Kaveh had to force his eyes to stay on his eyes.

Suddenly, his eyes disappeared.

No, they moved.

A blink and the man was in front of his sword.

Kaveh reflexively took a step back, and now realized how tall he was. Not that tall, because Kaveh was already tall, but it had been years since he'd had to look up to see anyone, and he was almost a head ahead of him.

Too fast.

He wasn't human.

Fear ran down his back like a shiver.

No, what could he want with him?

And coming in the middle of the night naked. With those two things hanging from his crotch. Why were they so big again? Intimidating.

“Wait!” Should he attack first? Maybe. But he wasn't a big fan of those things. “What do you want? Would it kill you to talk? If you want to fight—”

“Humph. Now you pretend you don't know me, after inviting me to your house?” And his voice was low, a little hoarse. Listening to him at the same time he had those eyes fixed on him, provoked him things, and he couldn’t shake that sense of familiarity no matter how scared he felt.

Wait, what did he say?

“I didn’t...” Kaveh started, but stopped.

When he really thought about it, leaving aside those features that sought to draw his attention, that serious expression, no, those eyes...

He lowered his sword unconsciously. His eyes widened with realization.

“Alhaitham?!”

And Alhaitham had the gall to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Did you invite someone else?”

Fear then turned to confusion, annoyance, excitement. A silly grin appeared on his lips. As soon as he put down the sword, he approached the now man.

“You scared me!” Kaveh playfully slapped his abs and his hands stayed there, “Huh? Are you really going to stay? Do you know how to talk? And you know how to shape-shift, you fucking asshole. You never told me, ah, but what a great shape—”

His abs were hard, and his body was hot, really hot under her hands. He couldn't be that hot, was it him?

“Yes, yes, and you never asked.”

Alhaitham tensed a little under his touch, but that was normal, and he didn't pull away. The thing was those members. It wasn't Kaveh's fault if his sight went down without him noticing, but he saw when they shook and—

No, why was he getting excited?

Kaveh retracted his hands.

‘Why do you have two— why are they so big?,’ he wanted to ask.

“Why the hell are you naked?,” he asked instead.

“Clothes are uncomfortable,” Alhaitham answered casually.

Without his hands in the way, Alhaitham stepped forward and, in one motion, wrapped those strong arms around Kaveh. Hot. Burning. As calm as before, Alhaitham leaned against the man's shoulders and inhaled near his ear, he was smelling him.

And Kaveh opened his eyes wide. He could perfectly feel the shape of Alhaitham's body against his own. He'd done something like this before, as a dragon, but this... His mind was shutting down as he focused on his crotch. If only he stretched out his hands, he could wrap them around that waist, go further and touch his ass, then—

Then what?

He wasn't sure, but he wanted to touch him.

Shit.

Heart pounding a hundred miles an hour, he pushed Alhaitham away.

“G-get dressed!,” he ordered, his voice trembling.

And fucking Alhaitham snorted.

“Why? I didn't wear clothes in my dragon form.”

Kaveh didn't know whether to hit him or run away. He covered his face.

“This is different! Only couples can look at each other naked!,” he explained quickly. “You can't stay if you're not dressed! I can't look at you!”

Alhaitham hummed in denial, only to then say:

“If I become your mate, I could be naked, couldn't I?”

Kaveh ran to throw clothes at him before he finished that thought. Thanks to the Archons, he knew how to dress. And Kaveh had to admit that he didn't look one bit less attractive with clothes on. Much less so when they were his clothes. It was tight all over him —which only emphasized his beautiful figure.

His heart and somewhere else less innocent threatened to undo him.

“Does it bother you?,” he inquired, and had to put all his mental power into not screaming.

“Hmm, this tight isn't so annoying,” he admitted, lifting his sleeve to bring it up to his nose. “It smells like you.”

Kaveh’s crotch squeezed again and he had to stop Alhaitham from following him out of the room to hit his head against the wall.

When he came back, he remembered he only had one bed ready.

In truth, he hadn't thought anything of it when he offered Alhaitham to stay with him. He didn't believe that he really could speak and change his form at any time, that he just didn't do it for the fun of it. It was nothing more than idealistic wishful thinking, because now that he had him there, he very well might explode.

He had never slept with anyone else.

And Alhaitham was too beautiful for his heart.

Kaveh stared at the bed and Alhaitham stood beside him, glued to his shoulder, which made it a thousand times harder to think.

So, he blurted out:

“Why don't you sleep on the floor?”

He knew from his grandmother that they didn't need to use beds.

“Is this how the prince treats his guests? After your description, I want to try the bed.”

And that's why Kaveh, in some moment of stupidity, had given Alhaitham a detailed description of his three-poster bed, the fluffy mattress, the sheets as soft as sheep and the feather pillows.

“I— I never slept on the floor.”

But he invited him. If he wanted to sleep on the bed... A prince sleeping on the floor. Amusing.

“There's no need. We can sleep together.”

“Yes, we could sleep together,” he repeated, distracted by the idea of how it would be impossible for him to sleep on the floor.

Alhaitham took him by the wrist and led him to sit on the bed. Then he touched the mattress tentatively, as if testing the ground. Satisfied, he lay down next to Kaveh, who was looking at him in amusement, and pulled him down.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping.”

Then it clicked.

“No! You can't sleep with just anyone—!” Kaveh stood firm against his tugging.

Alhaitham, however, frowned.

“You don't want to sleep on the floor, I want to sleep on the bed. What's so wrong about it? You said you wanted me to wear clothes and I'm wearing them. I want to sleep with you. Lie down.”

He said it so easily that Kaveh, already too tired, could not invent anything else to escape the situation.

“You sleep on this side and I'll sleep on the other side, okay? Don't stick to me,” he commanded, letting himself be pulled to the bed.

“You were the one who stuck to me first.”

“That's that and this is this! Sleep!”

Kaveh crawled under the covers and covered himself up to his head, doubting very much his ability to ever sleep.

Oddly enough, after that night, neither of them thought of the possibility of preparing another room or another bed.

Thus, the prince got a roommate.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham, as a dragon, was extremely intimidating to any mortal with the exception of, of course, the crown prince. The prince actually thought he was adorable, how he stared at him and how, once Alhaitham had gotten used to Kaveh sticking to him whenever he could, it was he who approached Kaveh.

In his human form, things were very different.

Alhaitham was hot.

Literally, but especially figuratively.

Then he would open his mouth.

The first night, Kaveh was too excited to be annoyed. It wasn't until later that he picked up on Alhaitham's tendency to look for ways to make getting his way seem the logical and reasonable thing to do. As Kaveh expected, no matter how much he explained, he didn't seem too keen on following human rules. And when he excused himself with that poker face and deadpan voice, Kaveh didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Alhaitham was... something, but he didn't hate it.

The morning after they slept together, Alhaitham followed him around, curiously observing his sword practice —one of the few things he still practiced so as not to lose the habit, since the theoretical studies were already mastered— and his rounds of the palace farm and crops.

"I thought humans had very marked hierarchies, why does the crown prince have to prepare his own food? Didn't they think of sending servants with you?" Alhaitham asked at one point.

Kaveh hummed and replied:

"Why bother when I can do it myself?"

Alhaitham must have noticed how strained his smile became, because he didn't insist. Instead, he asked Kaveh what he used to do and set about helping him a bit. A moment, until he got bored.

By noon, Kaveh cooked something for the two of them and was relieved to discover that, at least in his human form, Alhaitham had a normal appetite. Of course, after he finished his plate, he returned to his favorite activity: watching Kaveh. His heart couldn't take it anymore, so, as soon as he devoured the food, he hurried to take Alhaitham to the library.

Alhaitham looked amazed at the library, and he started to wander around among the books. Seeing him like this, Kaveh feigned to retreat, only to be stopped again.

"Are you going to leave your guest alone?"

"You can't keep using the guest card if you're going to live here!," Kaveh replied, amused.

But he brought his books anyway to read and make his notes in a corner of the library, leaving Alhaitham to entertain himself on his side.

Ultimately, Kaveh felt overpowered by the urge to let Alhaitham do whatever he wanted. Unconsciously, the thrill of companionship made him strive to be pleasant to him. Because, if he was pleasant, Alhaitham would stay, right?

Then Alhaitham seemed to find something interesting. He turned and left.

A while later, he was leaving a golden carving in front of him. Kaveh found with horror something that looked like a small, big-headed humanoid with a serious expression. The stem was uneven and rough. It looked like gold, but still...

"I read that you should give gifts to anyone who invites you to their home," Alhaitham explained. "Do you like it?"

Kaveh swallowed his complaints and smiled tensely.

"Uh, it's— interesting. Thank you."

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows. Later, to Kaveh's pain, he put it on his bedside table. However, Kaveh didn't say a peep.

In that way, Alhaitham continued to bring him such things every day. Carvings, statues, paintings. All made of the most exquisite materials, and yet they still managed to be hideous. Kaveh smiled as best he could as he wondered who could have such bad taste to create such hideous things. He could have ignored them, but Alhaitham insisted on putting them on display.

Well, evidently he ended up encouraging him, because one day Alhaitham came to Kaveh dragging a handful of dead chickens, dropping feathers wherever he went. To Kaveh's dumbfounded gaze, he said:

"You don't eat animals from your farm because you don't want to kill them, so I looked for others and killed them for you."

Kaveh closed his mouth. He watched one of the chickens move. He opened his mouth.

"I appreciate it and all that—"

Alhaitham frowned slightly. Then Kaveh went to hold him by the shoulders, and with unfocused gaze, began:

"—But don't bring anything ever again without asking me. I beg you. Please, if you give me anything else I will have to throw it out of the window of the highest tower."

Something sparkled in the teal eyes.

"Hm? Don't I live here too?" He shook the chickens a little, and one actually cackled. "You'll have to blame what I bring in my freedom as palace guardian."

"Nonono, your lousy taste is the only one to blame. You can't seriously like that damn statuette you brought yesterday, can you?" Kaveh's hands were shaking with nerves, and his voice became quicker. "It looks like it had been stepped on and dragged across the ground, it wouldn't even have been considered anything like pretty had it been new. And leave those chickens! How did you think I could eat so many—?"

And he would have gone on, but Alhaitham, who was listening to him with apparent disinterest, smiled. As in, the corners of his lips lifted slightly and revealed his fangs. His eyes lit up. Kaveh was so surprised that he forgot what he was going to say, so he asked:

"What are you smirking at?"

Alhaitham shook his head.

"You're cute when you're angry."

His heart skipped a beat, but Kaveh frowned.

"You don't have to put up with everything I do if you don't like it. I'm not going anywhere."

Alhaitham tried to lean on him as he usually did. Kaveh pushed him away.

"I know, I know, don't hug me holding the chickens!"

His legs felt weak and he pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling, all the while his heart exploded with relief, but he restrained himself and led Alhaitham to take care of the chickens.

"Is that the same reason you leave things untidy and don't help me with the chores?," he asked later, glaring at one of the decorations the dragon brought.

"What do you mean?" Alhaitham looked really puzzled. You didn't ask for my help.

Kaveh: ...

"Let's talk about that later," he sighed. "So you brought all that to teach me a lesson? How silly—"

"Actually, in their pursuit of the unconventional, they are very interesting, don't you think?"

Kaveh got a twitch.

"We'll have to disagree with that.

Kaveh was finally able to get the carving out of their room.

-

His horrible taste in decorations aside, Kaveh was delighted to discover that Alhaitham was brilliant. His main interest was in linguistics, which was why he could read and speak in the first place, but he was curious about many different subjects, so he wandered around the library and every now and then they would get into the most diverse discussions.

Kaveh couldn't have been happier about it. Even when he lived in the royal palace, he had a hard time finding someone who could keep up with him, but Alhaitham was just like him. They were both curious about the world. Where the rest of the people settled for no answers, they probed and searched for what lay beyond. Where something worked, they figured out a way to make it better. Kaveh felt they complemented each other perfectly.

Oh, that thought did nothing to help his poor heart calm around the dragon.

-

Kaveh was short then, barely able to reach the door handle. The guards let him through even though his father was in an argument with his aunt just because he was the prince. The meaning of the words was muffled by the thick walls, but the heated voices could be heard from outside. Kaveh didn't like arguments. He went in, trying not to make noise, because his father had called him. They didn't hear him, as entertained as they were in the fight, but he could hear them well now.

"I only receive you because you are my late brother's wife, but I will not put up with you making these kinds of accusations," his father said, running his hand through his hair as he tried to calm his voice, which was now trembling with nerves.

His aunt was clearly not in her right mind, it was clear. Her hands, her whole body was shaking as she pointed her finger at his father and screamed hysterically every word.

"Don't lie! The king told me everything! Ever since you were children, you damn traitor, you always envied him! You stopped talking to him when he inherited the throne! You always waited for the moment to rebel and took it!" It hurt to hear him, the desperation with which she hurled those accusations at his father, as if she expected those words to kill him. "Just for the crown, you killed your own brother!"

"Shut up!," the man finally snapped.

His aunt froze. Kaveh saw her expression, hatred and surprise distorting the former queen's face. His father looked exhausted by that single word, and rubbed his temple as if to calm himself before speaking again.

"It's over. I will forget this conversation, out of affection for my brother. Get out of here."

Perhaps it was the mention of possible parental love, perhaps there was nothing that could have stopped her aunt from moving at that moment.

Kaveh saw the glint of the dagger when it was too late, and what could he have done, a child who had never touched a sword, to get to them and stop her?

The woman lunged at his father, almost stumbling. All her strength went into the knife, so sharp that it buried itself in his father's chest at the first slash. Kaveh saw his father's eyes widen, how his mouth dropped open in surprise and he brought his hands to his chest, but there was no case.

His aunt fell backwards, and there she began to laugh, or cry, or both, the sound that mingled loudly in that scene of horror. Of the red that was beginning to stain his father's golden suit, of Kaveh's heart pounding in his ears, of the scene that staggered because he tried to step forward and his feet didn't want to walk straight.

His father looked up at him, because he had the door behind him, because he wanted help, and their eyes met. He moved his lips. Kaveh shouldn't have listened, he was too far away, the pain was swallowing his voice, his aunt's laughter was in his ear, competing with his heart to drown out even his own thoughts, but he heard it.

"Your... fault—"

Kaveh woke up.

The first time, he woke up screaming, crying loudly for his father, for any kind of comfort. Then, some servant would come or they would call his mother. After a while, Kaveh learned to shut up, and he couldn't let himself do it again even when he was sent to that palace, when he was alone, when he didn't have to worry about bothering anyone else. And what was the point of asking for something that would never come back, seeking comfort when there was no one to give it to you?

He would wake up in a cold sweat, tears in his eyes and his chest that wanted to explode, so tight he couldn't breathe. He swallowed it all back, for he knew well that he did not deserve to cry, to suffer for the one he himself had killed.

He tried to control his breathing, as always. He stared at the ceiling in the darkness, trying not to let his mind wander back to the look in his father's eyes in the dream, the hatred when he told him that all that had happened because of him. It was him.

The sheets beside him moved, and he remembered with horror that he was not alone.

Alhaitham quickly moved closer to him, breaking the imaginary line they marked, and gave him no time to say anything before he pulled the sheets off him. As if searching for a wound, he ran his hands gently, carefully, across his chest. There was relief on his face when he saw nothing, because he couldn't have seen it. As real as the pain was, the wound was invisible to the eye.

"What's wrong with you? Your breathing and your heart are wrong."

Kaveh was so embarrassed, which did nothing to end the knot in his stomach. Now he really wanted to cry. He opened his eyes wide to keep the tears from escaping.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I'm fine, go back to sleep, please."

His voice broke, sounding weak.

He was afraid, afraid that Alhaitham would find out what he had done and that look of concern would turn to hatred, that he would turn his back on him, that he would be left alone.

He was horrified because when he had Alhaitham like this he found that even after so many years he still wanted someone to comfort him.

Alhaitham did not believe him.

"Don't try to fool me, Kaveh. What do you need? Water, air? I'll go get some water, okay?"

His voice was flat, he might even sound annoyed, and yet it was more than Kaveh had received in too long. Alhaitham was about to leave and Kaveh sat up abruptly, jumping up to stop him by the arm. Black spots complemented the vision of the night, but he would not let him go.

"Like this," he instructed. "Stay like this."

Alhaitham's eyes widened. However, he did not turn away. Alhaitham returned his grip. He held his hand, stroking it gently.

Kaveh kept trying to calm his breathing, his heart, his thoughts, but to have Alhaitham like this, to feel him so warm and alive under his hands... tears flowed, staining his cheeks. He looked down in shame. It didn't matter. His shoulders were shaking so much from the whimpering that it was obvious he was crying. Alhaitham tensed.

"I'm sorry," he cried, "I'm sorry."

Crying only made his breathing more labored. The air became insufficient, escaping his lungs with each gasp, and he really couldn't breathe anymore, but he couldn't stop crying either.

He clung to Alhaitham in desperation.

'Don't go.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Help me.'

The words wouldn't come out.

He thought he would really faint this time.

"It's all right."

He could barely hear Alhaitham's voice through the blood rushing through his ears.

Then Alhaitham slipped out of his hands. A second later, hands were sliding under his legs and waist, and the mattress disappeared as he was carried up. He looked up, clinging to Alhaitham tightly, but he couldn't get a good look at him with his face distorted by tears.

"What—?"

"It's all right."

Alhaitham's arms anchored him as the world seemed to unravel upon itself. He closed his eyes, letting himself go into it, into his sweet words of comfort.

'It's okay, you survived before, you will now. It's okay.'

Then the air came back, just a little.

He still felt guilty clinging to someone else, listening to his words of comfort, and yet he couldn't go anywhere.

Eventually, he found the thread, the hole out of the pain and despair, the breathing space. The tears stopped and he stopped feeling like his chest would be ripped to shreds. All that remained was exhaustion.

"Are you better now?"

When he opened his eyes, Alhaitham was staring at him. His brow was slightly furrowed, and in his teal eyes there was a gleam of worry. Kaveh could not help but be filled with the inevitable feeling that he had been a nuisance, and as his grip loosened, Alhaitham's did not.

"Yes, thank you," he sighed. "Can you put me down?"

Alhaitham pursed his lips, as if trying to contain a denial, and let him off.

Such episodes always left him weak, but not weak enough to be unable to stand up, or to pretend he was perfectly fine.

Looking around, he discovered that Alhaitham had opened the window and stood next to it. It must have been the reason he felt it was easier to breathe. The night air hit his face cold, and the sweat only added to the coldness of the sweat, but it served to stop the choking. He wiped away the tears and hugged himself, and soon it was Alhaitham, hugging him by the shoulders from the side. As if he couldn't keep a second away from him.

"I thought you were going to take me flying or something," Kaveh joked. "Like in fairy tales."

"Interesting idea, but I don't think doing something you've never tried before will do much to calm the panic." Kaveh's heart jumped. Of course Alhaitham knew it was fear. "Hm, although you didn't seem too scared of heights when you jumped off the tower that day."

"Oh, shut up."

Kaveh let himself lean against Alhaitham's shoulder. After all, he was too tired already.

"Should I be worried?" Alhaitham asked after a moment. "Does this happen to you often?"

Kaveh shook his head.

"Occasionally. It's just a nightmare."

True. Kaveh had never heard what his father had told him that time. It could have been anything. Maybe he was asking him to leave, to call the guards. Maybe he hadn't even seen him, blinded by the pain. Maybe he just wanted to call for help.

Alhaitham hummed.

"You don't have to do that," Kaveh continued. "I can calm down on my own."

"Did my help do you any good?"

Kaveh's eyes widened, puzzled by the question.

"Huh?"

"Did I help you calm down faster?," Alhaitham repeated.

Kaveh thought about it. He didn't know if it had been faster, he couldn't count the minutes at times like this, but—

"It was easier," he admitted ruefully.

Knowing there was someone there, waiting for him, holding him back, the fear didn't feel as oppressive as it normally did. And now, in his arms, leaning against Alhaitham, even the lack of sleep, the cold or the intrusive thoughts didn't feel as bothersome.

"Then I will help you."

Chapter Text

With how much Alhaitham enjoyed the library, it occurred to Kaveh that there was a possibility that the man might come across the book, but there being so many, and being that even he had forgotten where he left it, he dismissed that it might happen any time soon.

Of course, he hadn't taken into account that his luck was nonexistent.

He was so distracted with an architecture book he was using as a reference for a drawing that he didn't notice Alhaitham standing in the corner. The dragon was flipping through the book with the speed that only someone who felt he was reading something forbidden could have, trying to absorb all the knowledge before it was taken out of his hands.

Kaveh only looked up when he felt his eyes would pop out if he didn't rest them for a moment. By then, Alhaitham was closing the book and teal eyes met Kaveh's across the library. There was a strange gleam in them, and the prince looked away quickly, only for his eyes to fall on the cover.

Okay. Kaveh couldn't remember where he left the book because, as soon as he glanced at its contents, his heart leapt out of his mouth and his blood traveled to places it shouldn't travel. He stuffed the book into any available crevice and hoped he would never see it again. The impression remained. Kaveh remembered that shade of blue perfectly, the design clean and uninscribed.

His face burst into flames.

The chair almost flew away as he got up and ran to Alhaitham to take the book from his hands. The dragon was quicker and raised his hand above their heads.

Kaveh felt the world reel as he stood on his tiptoes to try to grab it and still barely reached the man's arm. Luckily, he had the head to stop trying after seeing Alhaitham's amused look.

"Y-Y-YOU! DID YOU READ IT?," he shrieked, resisting the urge to cover his face.

Alhaitham put the book down again, and shook it casually, as if to show it off, as a smirk crept across his lips.

"Hm, interesting piece of literature you have here." Kaveh wanted to knock him out and take the book from him. "It doesn't look very academic, but who am I to say what kinds of knowledge the prince of Sumeru requires?"

"Of course it's not—! Someone must have snuck it in, okay?! I didn't read it!"

He tried to take the book in one go, but Alhaitham took it away again.

"Is that so? You sound quite shocked, as if you know of its contents."

"I didn't read it!," he insisted.

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows.

"Well, I must say that humans have very... curious methods of mating." Teal eyes meeting ruby ones as he said, "You should read it."

And just like that, he dropped the book into his hands.

'You should read it!' hung in Kaveh's mind.

Then Alhaitham turned around and lost himself among the bookshelves, leaving poor Kaveh frustrated and confused.

-

Kaveh really didn't intend to read it. He even put it on a shelf and went off to go about his business. But there it was, swirling around in his head like a fly as he tried to fall asleep.

After the nightmare incident, Alhaitham had started crossing the imaginary line that separated them in bed more often. Even though he wasn't touching him, Kaveh could still feel his warmth. That definitely didn't help.

A while in bed and he had to slip out to tiptoe to the library. This time, he knew right where the book was.

His eyes flicked through the pages quickly, but his mind was elsewhere.

His face burned hotly and his crotch throbbed.

Kaveh had come so far as to know where babies came from. That talk was... interesting. He wasn't half as embarrassed as he was then. He'd explored his body, too, driven by hormones. He wasn't half as horny as he was then.

The book was more like a diary. Handwritten ink drew page after page of naked people in various sexual positions. It included notes and explanations. Like a study, but of sexuality.

The really interesting part was that, page after page, the two people were men.

He should think it dirty.

Yet there was the person who wrote the diary, narrating in detail all the sensations he had, the pleasure he felt when that special spot was touched, or how good it felt to stick it up someone's ass, tight as if it wanted to take him and not let him go —or so the diary described.

A few months ago, he might have doubted the idea.

But now there was Alhaitham.

And Kaveh still had his image very much in mind. The defined muscles and that grippable waist. He wished he'd taken a better look below his waist, because, gods, that fucking man had two dicks, and he was pretty sure they were both bigger than his. He had to bite his lip just thinking about it.

There was Alhaitham in his imagination, pushing him against the bed, against a bookshelf, against the armchair where he sat cross-legged. All to catch his lips, devour him as if he didn't want to leave him a breath of air. They would undress as fast as their kisses would allow, and this time Kaveh would be sure to get a good look at his cocks, hard as his own as Alhaitham fingered him, playing with his ass to make it open for him. Just for him.

It was incredibly obscene.

It was incredibly hot.

Before he could think it through, his hand was in his pants. His cock was already half hard when he pulled it out and the blood was moving there like fire.

He would have to blame his imagination.

It was Alhaitham's fault, so attractive and intelligent. With those piercing eyes that always sought him out, eager to see him shudder because of his fingers. With those big hands that could easily encircle his waist, that begged to be able to hold his chest against the sheets as he lifted his ass for Alhaitham to thrust into him with one of his dicks. No, why just one? He could take both of them.

He might stop breathing when he took them both at once, he might feel like he would break, he might run out of air, but he would keep asking for more.

He didn't even want to think about it a moment ago. Now, curiosity won out.

The journal lay aside, but the notes and images were still in his mind as he pulled his pants down further and let his other hand wander to his edge. He had never done that before. The hand on his dick slowed as he used his saliva to slowly break through the resistance, and soon he had a finger inside.

With the image of Alhaitham's cocks abusing his ass and a little imagination, he could easily feel himself on fire.

He moaned and it was the most pitiful sound he had ever made in his life, but he paid no attention to it because in his mind was Alhaitham, with his two monster cocks, and he only had one finger.

He let the finger go in and out faster, trying to reach that spot the diary described and open more.

Before long, his dick was leaking preseminal fluid, and Kaveh pulled his finger out for a moment —and had the nerve to imagine Alhaitham pulling out of him to watch him beg for his cocks, for him to keep destroying him— just to take preseminal fluid and use it as lube.

He struggled to get a second finger in, and even that was exciting when he imagined Alhaitham penetrating him without warning. Kaveh would sink into the pillow beneath him and scream. And if Alhaitham at any point asked him if he still wanted more, he would ask him again and again to continue. To continue until he was satisfied.

Now he was really moaning and panting. He had no trouble finding the rhythm between his fingers and the hand on his dick.

He was desperate for Alhaitham.

Really, it was all his fault.

And then he heard it.

Something like a rubbing near the library door. It was far away, but it was clear in the silence of the night, and Kaveh froze.

Alhaitham was all over the place in his mind that the first thing he thought was that it was him. He had gotten up to look for Kaveh and got there. Did he really have to mention that Alhaitham's senses were so much better than a human's? He would have heard him masturbating to him.

And he still had one hand on his ass and one on his cock. He slowed his pace. He should stop, but it felt so good. He was so close.

"Alhaitham?" He raised his voice. It sounded so hoarse. So unpresentable.

He had to stifle a groan as he unintentionally brushed the spot.

There was no response after a few seconds, and Kaveh already relaxed.

It must have been his imagination, right?

He tried once more with a smile, just for the play:

"Are you ah-there?"

Because, gods if it wasn't exciting to think that Alhaitham could hear him.

He shuddered just imagining Alhaitham turning the corner to find him there, legs spread wide, his ass in the air for whoever wanted to find him, but there was only Alhaitham in his mind.

There was no answer, but he couldn't care. He was already too far gone.

In his mind, Alhaitham would increase the pace, nothing but punishment for being a pervert, the way he would pull his hair and Kaveh would growl for him, unable to say another word. He would think only of Alhaitham when he cum inside, two cocks spilling their semen into him, and he would feel so full, so satisfied, that he would cum with him, and—

"Haitham!" he moaned loudly as the climax reached him.

He chased the sensation with the Alhaitham of his imagination, squeezing his fingers as if they really were the man's cocks, as if he wanted to take all the semen he was given because, shit, he really wanted it.

He needed him.

His heart was pounding so hard he couldn't have heard the soft sound of the door closing.

Then the climax was over and again he was alone in the library.

And he had to pull his fingers out of his ass and think of something to clean up his semen, which luckily only spilled down his hand.

There, looking at the patches of white on his skin with the clarity taking over him, he realized something.

He had no reason to think of Alhaitham when he was masturbating. Even if he had to imagine a man. He had enough imagination to imagine someone else. Even now, the need for Alhaitham, only Alhaitham, hadn't gone away.

It had been there for a long time.

He could not have been more certain of anything in his life.

He wanted Alhaitham.

Oh, if the gods were kind enough to make it just that.

No. Kaveh loved Alhaitham.

Chapter Text

A good variety of novels had mixed in among the academic books, and his grandmother had also given him a few as gifts. Kaveh had had enough time to read his favorites more than once. Those novels were the stories where feelings were at the forefront, where he could forget his pain in pursuit of suffering and rejoicing for others. Of course, he had read many romance novels.

When Kaveh first heard the stories of the 'Prince of The Tower,' the assumption that whoever 'saved' him could marry him, he laughed. And there were people who actually believed it, because the knights kept coming.

Then it occurred to him that it was like a fairy tale, and he entertained the idea that someone would appear to rescue him from the monotony, from the pain, from the anxiety of a home that wasn't just his. One to share with someone else, someone who loved him. Someone to love. He didn't deserve it, of course, but he could dream.

In the end, he became worried. He was afraid that someday they were going to really hurt his grandmother just to get to him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if that happened, so he tried to stop those thoughts. But they were still there, added to the possible illusion that someone was going to take him away without hurting anyone.

And the dreamer will dream, whether he wants to or not.

Reality ended up being very different from fiction.

Alhaitham was nothing like a knight. In fact, he was an enemy of the knights. No, he was a threat to the knights. He could take down more than ten at a time without breaking a sweat (did dragons sweat?). Kaveh thought that was incredibly hot.

But either way, it was all he wanted. He felt that Alhaitham complemented him in all that mattered. With his intelligence, his reasonableness, his logic. He would go to him every time something occurred to him, for every silly thought he wanted to share, and Alhaitham would be there to help him work them out. He wanted to tell him everything.

Kaveh even appreciated the way Alhaitham always sought to be near him, as if he couldn't get enough of him.

And Kaveh felt like he was living on a cloud of pink. Before, the thought of staying there forever plagued him in his nightmares, tightened his chest and he couldn't breathe. He no longer cared if he had to live there forever, as long as Alhaitham was by his side.

Kaveh just knew. Love was secondary. The kingdom would have to forgive him, for there was no one else for him.

It was a warm feeling that enveloped him.

It was terrifying.

-

That afternoon, Alhaitham had just scared off a group of Fontaine's army. He was uninjured, as usual, but he threw himself into an armchair, leaning back against the headboard. Kaveh always felt a little bad about having Alhaitham look after him, so he asked if he would like him to comb his hair.

"As you wish," he replied.

So Kaveh picked up his hair and let it fall down the back of the chair. It was long. Longer than Kaveh's. You wouldn't think so with how tousled it was, but it was soft.

A thought crossed his mind and he pushed his hair aside, leaving the pale nape of his neck exposed. Ever since that night, he had to fight the urge to touch Alhaitham, like, really touch him. At that time, he wanted to lean in and run his tongue along the line of his neck. He wondered how Alhaitham would react —would he shudder under him? What expression would he wear? Would he even care? He had to start combing his hair before his thoughts drifted too far.

Kaveh combed from the bottom up, being careful not to stretch his hair, and Alhaitham allowed it nonchalantly, eyes closed as he leaned into his hands. Kaveh hummed, at ease with the familiarity of that moment.

Before long, Kaveh had finished combing his hair, and amused, began braid his hair.

As if he had been thinking about it for a while, Alhaitham opened his eyes and sought Kaveh's gaze.

"Why are you here?"

Kaveh raised his eyebrows dumbly, but his heart stopped for a moment and his hands paused, only to continue at once.

"I live here?" He couldn't help it, he put a fake smile on his lips.

Alhaitham snorted.

"You know what I mean."

Of course he did. He'd been thinking about telling him the whole story for a while now. Then it never seemed to be the right time. Luckily, Alhaitham didn't seem to mind such things. Since he had brought it up, why not take the opportunity —apart from the crushing fear that Alhaitham would change his mind about him and—?

He didn't let his hands tremble as he continued to braid.

"When I was five years old, I thought the king's crown was the prettiest in the kingdom..."

With those words he began his story.

From the moment he so innocently pointed to the crown on his uncle's head. The look on the king's face as he heard it. How his father held him close, the protective arm over his shoulder the rest of the visit that lasted only a few more minutes, so that his father could apologize for him. He didn't remember much, but he acutely remembered the sharp scolding that followed. For to desire the crown was the same as treason, and he should never covet something that did not belong to him.

In the years that followed, Kaveh rarely set foot in the royal palace again. The arms that had once opened to him, welcoming him, now closed. The faces that once lit up at his presence now held a cold and distant expression of suspicion.

And, one day, his uncle died.

Kaveh could not have suspected anything. He was just a child. He knew that. Yet he blamed himself.

Maybe if he had known earlier, he could have done something to stop it all before it escalated to the end.

Not if his father had even had anything to do with it —how was he to know? His suspicions came from the words of a woman who had been driven mad by the loss of her husband, of the kingdom she should have ruled for years.

There couldn't be that much of a coincidence, could there?

Shortly thereafter, his father died too.

And then his world was turned upside down, unable to right itself again.

He began to get more attention than he ever had. He hated it. That attention came with expectations. That attention would not allow him to break. That attention tied him away from his mother, from what he really wanted.

He lived— no, survived years of that oppressive attention.

Because he hoped that was what his father wanted for him. Because he didn't want his mother to have to worry about him.

And then, suddenly, he was alone.

'It's for your own good, my boy,' his mother had said, wrapping him in a hug for the first time in years. Kaveh couldn't even feel her warmth through his fear, how hard he resisted the urge to beg her to let him stay. 'You'll understand when you grow up. Or not. It would be better if you never understood.'

He thought he understood, if only a little.

But then why did it still hurt so much?

He managed not to cry, concentrating on Alhaitham's hair instead. He had tried different hairstyles on him in the process, putting it together and taking it apart. With that alone, he didn't feel overwhelmed by his emotions. Alhaitham let him talk, eyes on him. It wasn't until they got to the end that he opened his mouth.

"What will you do if they come looking for you from the royal palace?"

Kaveh couldn't answer right away, even when he knew the answer. He bit his lips until the words deigned to come out.

"Well, I would go."

That's what he had to do.

"You don't like it," Alhaitham asserted.

"I don't love this palace either, you know?" Kaveh dismissed with a sigh. "My father left me the kingdom, I must honor his memory, his wishes."

Alhaitham frowned and shook his head. Hair combed into a Fontanian braid accompanied the movement.

"So his memory is more important than your happiness? You don't even know what he wanted from—"

"Alhaitham," he interrupted. He had to hold his chest now, for it began to burn, and his ears to ring. "I don't know much about my father, but I think I know more than you, okay?" His voice was getting higher. "If he died because of me, the least I can do is to abide by his wishes."

'Even if I hate it.'

Him, the kingdom, those responsibilities he never asked for. He couldn't say.

His eyes shook, and then Alhaitham turned to hold his hands. Kaveh didn't realize how angry he was until he saw his hands trembling between Alhaitham's.

"He didn't die because of you," and it all sounded like fact when he said it so gravely. "You were a child. You didn't ask your aunt to stab him."

Alhaitham could not have been more sincere than when he said those words, and Kaveh immediately felt bad.

He couldn't believe it.

"It's okay," he sighed anyway. "I'm sorry."

Alhaitham must have realized he didn't want to talk anymore and forgave him for this one time, stroking his hands.

"What about the people who come to fight for you? You know they think whoever beats me will be able to take your hand, right?"

Oh, of course he had to say it slowly. He used that expression with all the intention in the world. Kaveh's heartbeat changed motifs as soon as he said those words.

"I know," he said carefully.

"If someone defeats me, will you give it to them?"

'Aren't you the one who has them, would you give it to them?'

How foolish, he couldn't ask such a thing.

"Who knows? Isn't that what I should do? If it's convenient. Unions of kingdoms by marriage are common and important." But that was just the script he had to say, acting all high and mighty as if his body didn't relax with every touch from Alhaitham. "Besides, then I could leave the palace."

"And forget me, just like that?" His tone still carried a thread of mockery, but his hands became firmer and Kaveh's pulse only increased. "Ouch, and here I was beginning to think we were friends."

Kaveh felt his body heat up at those words alone, the annoyance of a moment ago forgotten as his spirits skyrocketed.

Had he ever had a friend before?

"Of course I wouldn't forget you!"

"Hm..."

Alhaitham looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes, and Kaveh did his best to hold his gaze. They stared at each other like that, eyes wide open, until he could no longer and blinked. Kaveh grunted in frustration and Alhaitham laughed.

It was a short, soft laugh, but Kaveh could only marvel at the way it lit up his face. So different from his usual self. It made him want to intertwine their fingers, lean into him, and...

"What if I were to rescue you?" Alhaitham asked.

Kaveh blinked, snapped out of his illusion.

"Huh?"

"If I rescued you, I'd take you out of the palace. We could go wherever you wanted."

Go wherever he wanted?

That was something he could not imagine even in his dreams.

Until now he had only thought that, if he got out of the palace, it would be to go to the royal palace. To make himself a piece of a more interesting puzzle, where his every move would have to be carefully calculated. To go wherever he wanted would become impossible. He could only entertain the idea through second-hand stories. He didn't give it much thought because it was too overwhelming.

The idea of being able to control his destiny. Choosing his own path, one that he could walk with Alhaitham... It was too good to be true, and perhaps that made it all the more distressing.

And Alhaitham meant it, tilting his face up from underneath to get a better look at him. Proudly wearing that silly hairstyle Kaveh had made for him, as well as the borrowed clothes. Swinging his legs over the side of the couch to face him, brushing gently against Kaveh's legs. Hands clasped together. He would do it.

Kaveh smiled, for wasn't this the best offer he had ever been given in his life?

"What a fool you are," he continued. "You know I can't do that."

Alhaitham sighed dramatically, lowering his gaze.

"This prince is so stubborn," he said to himself, "maybe I should just kidnap him."

Chapter Text

Of course, Alhaitham didn't kidnap him. Or he didn't at the time.

It was about a week after when Alhaitham interrupted his afternoon. Kaveh was struggling with a drawing when the dragon stood next to him. He didn't even try to ignore him.

"What's wrong?"

"Your clothes are very showy."

"Huh?" He covered his chest unconsciously. "What's showy about it? It's pretty."

He couldn't possibly not like it, could he? He would have said something before.

He only noticed the clothes Alhaitham was holding when he pressed them against his chest:

"Change."

"EH?"

Kaveh caught the clothes and unrolled them warily, finding they were the least showy pieces in the world. A shirt and pants without any ornament, in different shades of pastel brown. He, who loved details and embellishments on clothes, was immediately offended.

"Would you mind explaining to me what's wrong with my clothes? And how are these better?," he glared at him.

Alhaitham smiled.

"I'm going to kidnap you."

"And you're going to kidnap someone so badly dressed?" Kaveh continued to complain before processing what he had said. His stomach churned. "What did you say?"

"We're going out."

-

Kaveh changed as quickly as he could and then followed Alhaitham out into the courtyard. Questions poured out of him like a bottomless pit.

"Where are we going? Is it okay? How are we going? What if someone comes when we're not there? How long are we going out? Do I look all right...?"

"Crown Prince," Alhaitham stopped him at last, turning to him and stopping him in his tracks with a hand on his chest, "You look beautiful."

Kaveh blushed and shut up instantly. He had been told before that he was cute, lovely, adorable, but what were the compliments of his mother and her servants? They had to tell him that. Alhaitham, on the other hand, was sincere to a fault. It was only a word, but Kaveh felt his soul float.

"Stay here," Alhaitham instructed.

Then the man turned and walked away. In the middle of the courtyard, he disappeared under a cloud of steam. A moment later, a large beast appeared from behind the smoke. Alhaitham bowed, lowering his back as if asking him to ride on him.

"You're not really going to kidnap me, are you?" Kaveh asked, but he was already climbing on top of Alhaitham, too excited by the idea of flying. It's not like he'd imagined it a thousand times seeing the dragon or anything. "I have to be back before twelve."

Kaveh knew very well that Alhaitham could talk in his dragon form, he just chose not to. And now more than ever, he didn't even make the pretense of answering before stretching his wings, so large they could easily overshadow Kaveh.

Anxiety came late. Suddenly, Alhaitham propelled himself upward and the wings shook. A second later, gravity was no longer an issue. Kaveh had to pull himself forward, clinging to the dragon with a shriek as the flapping made the body go up and down, but especially up —his scales, luckily, held him well.

He couldn't speak anymore either. He looked down reflexively and the sight made his breath halt.

The palace grew smaller and smaller with every jolt. Kaveh had never seen it like this. That palace that had been his world until then was but a crumb when he had the world before him. The wind hit him in the face, with no wall around him, his hair tossed behind him. His legs trembled with excitement and fear. But the sun burned his face and he could see beyond the forest, beyond the field. There was a lake not far away, hidden among the trees, the crystal clear water reflecting the dragon as he passed over it. And Kaveh knew that even that world he saw was only a part of something much larger. Curiosity burned in his heart.

Alhaitham had offered him that world.

The dragon felt warm beneath him, his anchor amidst the clouds. After rising, he moved as if swimming in the air. The smoothness of his movements present again let Kaveh see wherever he wanted.

If he was serious...

He couldn't.

And, at the same time, that was more than he could wish for.

"Haitham!" His voice trembled, but this time it was from the emotions bubbling up inside him. He had to shout to hear himself, "Why didn't you let me fly with you before?! It's unbelievable!," he said.

Alhaitham snorted, heat escaping his nostrils, and he twitched from side to side in protest.

Kaveh smiled widely.

Of course, perhaps a while ago he would have refused.

His grandmother had suggested the idea to him once. Kaveh had refused so eagerly that she never mentioned it again and simply stuck to bringing him gifts.

Alhaitham wouldn't even let him overthink it and the truth was that, just by his presence, Kaveh felt brave. He felt that even if he ever fell, Alhaitham would be there to hold him.

Was that what love was?

It was such sweet nonsense. Intoxicating.

Logic and anxiety told him it was meaningless.

Alhaitham was there out of obligation, tied to the palace because that was where Kaveh was, because he had to take care of him. Alhaitham would leave if he could, to that world, somewhere far away from humans. Away from him.

Love wanted to believe that all that was a lie, that the impossible was possible and that maybe Alhaitham could also feel just a hint of what he lived next to him.

He couldn't stop smiling and his heart wouldn't stop beating.

He felt it at that moment.

"I think I love you."

His confession was but a whisper and his words were carried away by the wind, but there was no storm that could shake the warmth in his soul.

-

They landed in the middle of a field of flowers, with nothing else in sight. Kaveh entertained himself picking flowers until Alhaitham, back in his human form and crowned with flowers, let him know that they still had to walk. They couldn't reach their destination in dragon.

Kaveh was already so happy wandering around the meadow that the thought that Alhaitham had something more exciting in store for him encouraged him to follow without complaint. It was about half a kilometer further along the road they walked that houses began to come into view. Humble as they were, Kaveh was excited. Clinging to Alhaitham, he absorbed every detail and fretted when he saw that some structure didn't look very secure. He was nervous too, seeing so many people, but there was no way they would recognize him, was there? And, even so, Alhaitham had to stop him from approaching anyone he saw outside to tell him ways to improve their homes.

"Not everyone has the money to remodel their homes," he reminded him.

Kaveh thought of all the things he had in the palace and didn't need. Just speaking of clothes, he had enough to fill several closets, for they could not be sure of his size when he grew up and left him many that, even with Alhaitham there, he would never get to wear. His clothes were not only showy, they were also expensive. If he could give them to those people, they could sell them and then...

"Isn't that suspicious?," Alhaitham interrupted again. "A stranger who comes to give away expensive clothes, who would take them?"

Kaveh finally let go of Alhaitham and walked by his side, pouting.

He couldn't stay angry for long. Soon, they reached the village. It wasn't big, but it wasn't small either, and Kaveh amused himself by looking around. The people looked better there, and yet they were not as well dressed or their houses as nice as in the capital or in his books.

Alhaitham led him to what looked like a fair and his attention was drawn to the various stalls. There were too many foods, too many clothes, too many objects, Kaveh dragged Alhaitham back and forth. He had brought no money, so he could only watch, but he also talked a bit with the people, who, used to the same people, were happy to chat with the travelers.

Right away, Kaveh found something that instantly caught his eye.

A book stall.

And what was better, there were books on architecture!

Kaveh rushed over like a bolt of lightning.

"It's been so long since I've had a new book! Alhaitham, look!" He held up the book with a grin from ear to ear, almost jumping for joy. "It's the one I told you I wanted!"

The old man sitting in the stall laughed at Kaveh's excitement.

"Certainly, it's hard to find architecture books in this area, young man," he agreed, standing up to go talk to them. "I wouldn't have even asked for them before, but there was one particular client who asked for them and frequented me to buy these."

Kaveh put the book down again, turning to the gentleman with an apologetic smile.

"Is anyone else interested in architecture?," he asked, curious for someone who understood. Even at the royal palace, he hadn't met anyone else interested in architecture, not until his grandmother. "What about them?"

"Oh, she was an old lady. She hasn't been here for months, though."

Kaveh could feel himself tensing, his heart clenching as something occurred to him. He turned his gaze to Alhaitham. Beside him, the man might have seemed unfazed were it not for the soft tension in his jaw.

"I wonder what became of her," the man sighed. "She said something about not coming around anymore soon, but it seemed ridiculous at the time. She seemed so much stronger than me, you know?"

Alhaitham finally stepped forward.

"I think you're talking about our grandmother."

"Oh? Is that so?" His eyes lit up. "You are Azita's grandchildren?" Alhaitham nodded, "Oh, it's hard to get information out of her, but I got her to tell me about her grandchildren. Nice to meet you."

Now he had Kaveh's interest. His grandmother had been the only person for him and there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't miss her. However, she always had to fight to protect him, and, after all, because of the contract she couldn't leave him even if she wanted to. That made him wonder many times, even in spite of the love she showed him, what she really thought of him.

"It's a pleasure," he said quickly, looking at Alhaitham. "What was it she said about us, if I may ask?"

The man smiled in amusement.

"She told me she had a grandson who loved architecture as much as she did, who couldn't leave the house, so she bought him books to keep him entertained." He touched her chin, looking at him intently, and Kaveh couldn't help but be filled with joy. So she was also talking about him as her grandson away from home. "That's you? I thought you'd be sick, so you're well now, aren't you? You're working as an architect now, young man?"

"Huh? Uuh, eeh, something like that..."

Work. Kaveh had only dreamed about it. If he could get out, would he work building homes for people? He would love it.

The man turned to Alhaitham.

"And you, he also told me he had a grandson who loved books, but not so much going out, are you working on anything?"

Alhaitham looked at Kaveh expressionlessly, and he hastened to answer for him.

"He's a private bodyguard," he ventured.

Well, it wasn't far from the truth.

At that moment, an elderly woman appeared from behind the man, coming up to see why the long talk.

"Who are these young men?"

"They are Azita's grandchildren."

The woman's eyes quickly lit up and she became all smiles. She rounded the table to greet them.

"Oh, look at these handsome and strong young men! We've heard so much about you. How is Azita? It's been a long time since we've seen her."

Kaveh couldn't even consider how to tell the news that Alhaitham had already answered:

"She passed away a few months ago."

Kaveh wanted to scold him with his eyes for being so blunt, but Alhaitham wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, no," the woman sighed, "So that's why she wasn't coming. I'm so sorry. She was a very strong and wise woman, who would have thought she would die before us, right, dear?" The man nodded sadly, "You're not married, are you? And you don't have parents either. You should consider starting a family, it's the only way to survive in this world."

What a way to change the subject.

Was that what gossipy families did in the books?

"Uhm, well, we have each other for now."

For now, but he also wished it was forever.

He glanced sideways at Alhaitham, trying to see what he thought of his words, but again he had a blank stare. Kaveh pursed his lips in a small pout.

"Oh, yes, yes, but having a wife doesn't hurt either." The woman seemed to notice Alhaitham's disinterest, because she turned completely to Kaveh, ignoring her husband who was trying to gesture for her to leave it be. "You know, I have a very pretty granddaughter, I'm sure you would get along well."

"Uhm..."

Kaveh could only smile as the lady went into a monologue promoting her granddaughter. There was no stopping her anymore, and she had no idea she was the crown prince. As such, he knew he wouldn't be able to choose his life partner. If he ever returned to the palace, he would be assigned a mate, whoever was the most suitable, and he would have to settle for that.

If he ever came back...

His heart skipped a beat at the thought.

Only if he came back...

His gaze drifted back to Alhaitham unconsciously. His thoughts instantly changed lanes. Alhaitham was clenching his jaw and frowning as if something was bothering him. He didn't look very good.

"How much is the book?," the dragon jumped in.

"Huh?" The woman blinked, puzzled by the interruption.

Alhaitham picked up the book to show her.

"How much is the book?"

No sooner had she been able to tell him the price than Alhaitham boxed her a bag of mora that easily held more than she said.

"Goodbye."

And the dragon, with the book in one hand, and Kaveh in the other, walked away. His hand trembled a little.

"Ah! Goodbye! Thank you!" Kaveh hastened to greet before they disappeared from sight. Soon, he was turning back to Alhaitham. "That's rude, you know, you—"

He couldn't say more, because paying more attention to him, Alhaitham's lips were pale, and his whole face looked a little sick. Now he couldn't ignore that his grip was weaker than usual.

"Are you all right?," he asked at once, letting go to touch his forehead. His temperature seemed fine (i.e. he was warm), but Alhaitham said nothing, which was answer enough. His heart leapt into his mouth. "Let's get some rest."

It was only when Kaveh was about to take him to sit on a bench over there that the dragon spoke.

"Away from the people."

Kaveh nodded. Nerves on edge, he grabbed the book for him and held Alhaitham's hand to lead him somewhere else. The man followed him like a puppy dog, without another word, and Kaveh couldn't but be filled with worry. If he fainted, how was he going to carry him? No, if he was sick, what the hell were they going to do? They wandered down a parallel street and ended up near the forest, so Kaveh found a place under the shade of a tree to sit down.

"Lie down," he ordered, patting his lap.

Only then did Alhaitham hesitate, looking at him and then at his lap. Kaveh forced him to lie down without another word. The dragon closed his eyes and his muscles relaxed considerably. Still, Kaveh couldn't shake the restlessness out of his mind.

"What do we do now?," he asked anxiously. "Is it some kind of dragon sickness? Is it because we came here? Then it would be my fault. I'm so sorry, Haitham."

Without opening his eyes, Alhaitham raised his hand, shushing him to look at him intently. Did he want to tell him something? Fingers found Kaveh's face and, shit, even through his fear for him, he couldn't but tremble at the touch on his cheek. Alhaitham traced the path to his lips and Kaveh felt himself blush.

Then Alhaitham lowered four fingers, leaving only the index finger above his lips, and promptly lowered his hand again.

Kaveh didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Asshole..."

He was silent only out of worry, but his head kept evaluating a thousand possibilities. If he ended up losing Alhaitham too, just now... Did he have a curse? Would everyone he loved suffer? If so, he might as well crawl into a hole and disappear.

Luckily, not long after —though for Kaveh it felt like an eternity—, Alhaitham began to regain his color and then opened his eyes. Teal met crimson and Kaveh's heart, which was just beginning to calm down, leapt again.

"Are you feeling better?"

Alhaitham looked at him for a moment, the gears turning in his mind, and shook his head.

"Don't lie!" Kaveh complained, reading through his deception.

Alhaitham smirked. Kaveh wanted to pinch his cheeks.

"I'm better," he admitted.

Indeed, he had regained his color and looked his usual self, causing Kaveh to breathe a sigh of relief at last. As quickly as he stopped worrying, he became aware of the position they were in. Even if Alhaitham always stuck to him, wasn't lying on his lap too intimate? And Kaveh obliged him too. He blushed slightly.

"You can get up now," he said, trying to sound casual.

"Hmm... but I like it like this."

His heart stopped before it went on like crazy. He already felt his legs going numb, but to stay like this with Alhaitham a moment longer? Was it too dramatic to say that he would let his legs go as long as Alhaitham was comfortable?

Kaveh controlled his voice before speaking again.

"Just a moment."

Alhaitham happily settled a little closer to his crotch and Kaveh had to change the subject quickly.

"What did you have then? It's nothing serious, is it? How about we go to the doctor? Although I doubt they treat dragons?"

"Kaveh," Alhaitham stopped him at last. "It's just that so much noise, no, the voices overload me. I thought I'd be all right, but it seems I'm not. I'm sorry for worrying you.

Kaveh blinked in disbelief for a moment.

"What about when you fight—?"

"Fights are short and the sounds of a busy street are different from those of a battle."

Kaveh couldn't agree. In fact, at first he was bored by the palace, too quiet for his taste. Being among the people at the fair, he felt ecstatic and wanted to talk to everyone. Then it was the other way around for Alhaitham.

He nodded.

"It makes sense." Then he added ruefully, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

He thought he knew Alhaitham the best —as in, Alhaitham didn't even have any friends besides him—, and yet he didn't realize he was feeling bad.

Silly him, for a moment he thought Alhaitham was jealous.

"It's okay, I was the one who brought you here."

Kaveh shook his head.

"We should go back."

He was about to help him up, but Alhaitham pushed down harder.

"No."

Kaveh: ?

"What do you mean, no? Aren't you tired? And if we can't go where the people—"

"I still want to show you something else."

He didn't know whether to laugh or hit him. He tried to push him again. Alhaitham had a surprisingly heavy head.

"Stubborn bastard," he grumbled under his breath. "You could at least get some sleep."

Alhaitham considered it for a second.

"Fine, I'll sleep here and you wake me up when it gets dark."

It wasn't long before nightfall, like an hour or so, but...

"Here?"

"Good night."

Without further ado, he turned on his lap and closed his eyes.

Kaveh stood blinking in disbelief.

Luckily, Alhaitham turned away from him, because if he turned towards him, breathing softly near his crotch, with that calm expression he had when he slept, lips slightly parted... Kaveh bit his lips. No, better not to think about that anymore.

Nor about how, just by leaning in a little, he could press those lips to his crotch and kiss it, barely a peck, which would then clearly escalate into a full-blown kiss, wetting his pants enough so he could feel it on his erection that... He slapped himself in the face because it was definitely ceasing to be imaginary.

Kaveh had originally planned to wait for Alhaitham to wake up on his own, no matter what he wanted. The problem is that he spent the rest of the time until it got dark violently going over all his knowledge of architecture and any other knowledge that wasn't related to what was on his legs —that had to be torture, right?— As soon as the sun went down, he shook Alhaitham and forced him to stand up.

"I thought you wanted me to rest?," he complained, stretching.

"My legs are numb," Kaveh excused himself, hoping the darkness would hide the heat that was beginning to spread across his cheeks. "What did you want to do at night, anyway?"

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows, but let it pass. He pointed his chin toward the village. In the distance, beyond the houses, a wisp of smoke rose into the sky.

"Let's go to the fire."

Chapter Text

As they approached, the sound of chanting and excitement became more apparent, so Kaveh couldn't help but cast nervous glances at Alhaitham. Outwardly, he was unaffected, or so his perpetual poker face reflected. Kaveh couldn't trust him. He ended up stopping him to search through the stalls and returned to him with earplugs —nothing special, just some cotton—. They weren't perfect, but they would do for the moment, and Alhaitham's long hair covered them. The man even smiled when Kaveh, frowning in concentration, was putting them in. He took it as a good sign.

The buildings opened up to a field and there it was. Piles of wood rose higher than the people and just beyond the houses, feeding the fire that sought to reach for the sky. Now that it was dark, the people dancing and singing around were painted red in the firelight. Children were running around and adults were smiling and visiting the food stalls scattered about.

It was warm. A palace for one could never feel like this.

No. He remembered the celebrations at the royal palace. They were a thousand times more luxurious than that, but the atmosphere was tense. Cold. This was nothing like it.

Kaveh was in awe of everything, his heart felt soft just being there. As he tried to absorb everything that was going on detail by detail, he grabbed Alhaitham and shook his arm unconsciously. The shaken had a faint smile on his face when he asked him:

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Kaveh finally let go of his arm, but he still wanted to shake himself. Maybe run along with the children. "Is it a festival? Is it okay for us to be here?"

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows, crossing his arms.

"That's what festivals are all about, I think."

Kaveh was so ready to accept his support.

He soon crossed paths with some of the merchants who had been kind to him and they happily updated him on the festivities and invited them to join in the dances. Alhaitham wasn't too thrilled about it and stayed to the side, but Kaveh joined in. It was fun and people came up to him to chat. Kaveh assumed it was curiosity because he wasn't from there. In the end, everyone was very nice. They treated him to food and then to jumping over fire, which was at least interesting.

Later, he met the old couple that sold books. A young woman in her early twenties quickly approached when she saw he was with them and she was introduced as the famous daughter. Alhaitham, who until five seconds earlier seemed distracted watching the fire, was quick to jump into the conversation, and even engaged in it, paying special attention to the woman.

Kaveh's mind flew and he looked between Alhaitham and the woman. She was pretty, nice, though Kaveh would say she wasn't his type. Alhaitham, well, he was his type. But his type was very happy flirting with this stranger in front of him.

He felt like his stomach was going to pop out of his mouth. And then he felt bad, because he shouldn't expect anything but protection from Alhaitham. As his own person, he could love someone else. He could dream of smiling at someone else, clinging to someone else, hugging someone else.

Just dreaming, for as long as Kaveh was in the palace, he could not go anywhere.

Yes, he was feeling sick now.

So he excused himself and left them alone, refusing to look back because if Alhaitham didn't care, his heart would fall apart. Of course it did anyway when Alhaitham didn't go after him.

How silly, how one person could change his mood completely.

He didn't feel like talking anymore, so he sat to the side hoping to be ignored, but for some reason, people kept coming up to him, even if it was just to give him something to eat. In just a few minutes, he found himself with a basket of fruits, nuts and other food. Someone even offered him beer, which he readily accepted. He had never tried it, but had read about it. People used to use it to drown their sorrows, right? And he had too many sorrows to drown.

He took a sip.

It tasted awful.

He took what was left in a few more gulps.

Still nothing.

He thought maybe he was a good drinker. Either that, or the descriptions were an exaggeration.

Soon after, a girl came up to ask how he was doing and Kaveh threw out a long complaint about his roommate that made them sound suspiciously like a couple, so the poor girl could only pat him until she felt a menacing presence and had to excuse herself.

Kaveh, oblivious to that, with his eyes downcast, only got to see two legs stopping in front of him.

He would recognize those shoes anywhere.

"Are you done talking to, oh, the love of your life?" He began to sputter bitterly, and looked up with a pout.

There he was, carrying a spoon and bowl while his face was covered by a veil. Kaveh frowned.

"What are you doing?," he snorted.

"I was looking for you," Alhaitham replied. Kaveh couldn't see Alhaitham's expression since his back was to the fire, but he'd bet he was smiling under the veil.

That annoyed him.

"¿So? You've already found me. Now you can go back to that woman and ignore me."

So, he discovered that his mouth was faster than his brain. All too aware that he was being mean, he pursed his lips and lowered his gaze, determined not to speak again.

Alhaitham didn't even flinch at his tone. He sat down across from him.

"She is not the love of my life."

"Oh, she isn't? Well, you seemed very happy talking to her just now."

Shit, it was so easy to complain when he couldn't even see Alhaitham's face. Or was it the alcohol? Ah, maybe it really was the alcohol. Maybe he was a lousy drinker. How stupid. He didn't expect Alhaitham to come back.

"I could say the same," said Alhaitham. Or maybe not. His voice was so low that Kaveh might have imagined it, but he looked up nonetheless, trying to meet his eyes. He couldn't see them with the veil in front of him. Alhaitham held out the bowl. "Will you treat me?"

"What?"

Alhaitham pointed to his basket with the spoon and Kaveh couldn't quite process everything he was saying.

"Really?," he grunted.

What? He just wanted his candy.

"I'm always serious with you."

His heart skipped a beat. Which was stupid too. Because Alhaitham had no reason to sound like he was promising him the world when he'd just left him alone.

"Whatever." So Kaveh grabbed a handful of sweets and nuts, refusing to give him his fruits, put them in his bowl carelessly and looked away. "What's the veil for, anyway?"

Alhaitham held the bowl close to himself protectively, and it took him a few seconds longer to answer.

"I was told that boys cover themselves with a veil and go to the door of the house of the girl they love with the spoon and the bowl." And maybe Kaveh looked back at him with wide eyes, because that could mean something to him. To them. Alhaitham had lowered his head, looking at the bowl. "If she doesn't love him, she throws water on him. If she loves him too, she puts candy or nuts in the bowl."

Kaveh could feel his heart in his mouth as the world spun. He wondered if it was the alcohol. Or maybe it was just him that was going to explode into a thousand pieces.

"So...?" The possibility hit him and he had to ask, "Are you practicing on me?"

He wished he had water handy.

Alhaitham laughed, and his shoulders shook with laughter. Kaveh could imagine what he would look like under the veil. He had always thought Alhaitham's smile was the prettiest he had ever seen. He would like to see it.

"I thought you were smarter than that," Alhaitham said when he stopped laughing, but the smile was still in his voice.

Kaveh gave another pout and folded his arms.

"Be clear or shut up."

Alhaitham leaned forward and Kaveh leaned back with nerves on edge.

"You confirmed that you love me," Alhaitham provoked him.

"I didn't know anything!" Kaveh excused himself, hoping the blush didn't show with the fire on his face, or that he wasn't moving his eyes too much trying to keep them on Alhaitham. "B-besides that, you did it first, didn't you say you had to ask someone you love for the candy?"

Alhaitham didn't answer right away. He put his things aside and lifted the veil, revealing his face. The smile Kaveh had hoped for was there. He almost wished Alhaitham hadn't taken it off, because now he was more nervous than before.

If Alhaitham really did say what he thought he said...

"Well, now that you know, what will you do?"

Now that he knew.

Did he?

What would he do?

No one was paying attention to them anymore, and Kaveh couldn't have paid attention to anyone else. When Alhaitham was so close that he only had to step forward a few inches to reach him, how could he care about whatever foolishness he had imagined a moment ago?

No, for the first time, he felt brave.

Alhaitham wanted to know what he would do in the face of his confession.

Kaveh was delighted to catch his veil and wrap them both in it, causing Alhaitham to open his eyes curiously. Then, he leaned in as he once dreamed and ended the distance between them.

Kaveh closed his eyes as lips met lips.

He held his breath.

It was a slow, soft, short kiss. It tasted like beer. Alhaitham's lips were very warm. Neither of them knew quite how it worked, but they tried. Even when they held back, Kaveh still felt he could stay like this for the rest of his life and nothing else would matter. Not the kingdom, not the people, not his fears.

But that was selfish, so they separated.

Alhaitham's ears were red, but his expression still reflected self-satisfaction. Kaveh did his best to calm his own expression as well, as if he wasn't going to unravel at any moment.

"Don't be so pleased with yourself, I kissed you."

"Hmm, I'm glad I deserve to be kissed by such a beautiful man."

Kaveh gasped.

"Sweet-talker!"

Then they kissed some more.

-

Kaveh found his way to the city of overthinking as soon as they were back in the palace.

Like, Kaveh had never discussed love with his grandmother —he didn't have to— and he supposed Alhaitham was more of the same. If he had learned anything about love, it was through novels, and as much as they rested in the library most of the time, he had not seen Alhaitham read a romance novel.

Alhaitham said he loved him, but did he know what it meant to love someone that way?

Thus, Alhaitham got into bed and Kaveh tossed and turned a few times pretending to be fixing things out of nerves.

Because, although he hadn't seen him read romance novels, Alhaitham did read the anonymous man's diary carefully.

And he had on the tip of his tongue the clarification that only married couples could do that sort of thing. But then again, they weren't supposed to sleep in the same bed either, and had never bothered to follow that rule. It's not like they could get married in the palace. It's not like they could get married at all. In the end, it was Kaveh who was hesitant, even if his body itched with desire.

No, if he refused him now, would Alhaitham even come to love him?

He was but a selfish prince, for the thought of an Alhaitham who would not love him, even when Kaveh might leave him at any moment, pained him enough to stop circling and turn toward him.

Alhaitham was staring at him from the bed. Half covered by the sheet, he sat against the back of the bed. His muscles as always, didn't leave much to the imagination, and Kaveh didn't have to use more than his memories to feel his muscles under his hand again, against his back, hugging him... he wanted to get under his clothes.

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows at his insistent gaze.

"Are you coming to bed or not?"

His blood found its way down.

Then, he would be all right.

He climbed into bed and clambered on top of Alhaitham, making those teal eyes widen. Kaveh reveled in his reaction, the man not even daring to move an inch.

"You love me," Kaveh said. It was meant to be a statement, but ended up sounding half like a question.

"Hmm," Alhaitham nodded, and his hands reached for Kaveh's waist, stroking lightly.

It took the world for Kaveh not to be distracted by Alhaitham's touch over his blouse.

"How do you know that?"

"I feel it."

Kaveh rolled his eyes this time.

"Explain," he ordered him with a pout.

Alhaitham smiled as if the question was ridiculous. That's what Kaveh expected. Alhaitham hummed thoughtfully, and then he was pulling Kaveh so that he fell down sitting on his waist. The poor guy gasped in surprise and his face colored. He was about to lie to him with something like he wasn't going to distract him with it, when Alhaitham spoke again.

"I feel it here," and stared at him as he let one of his hands wander down to Kaveh's stomach, tingling along the way, "but especially here," he traced another trip, nimble and smooth to the middle of his chest. There, Kaveh's heart was straining to to tear itself from his skin and reach for the warm hand that brushed his skin along his cleavage.

Kaveh had to close his eyes with a gasp as the hand went further, reaching in through the cleavage, brushing against his chest, for each touch was like fire and his insides stirred with nerves and anticipation. He didn't stop him.

It was Alhaitham who withdrew his hand and only then did Kaveh's eyes widen again with a trickle of disappointment, but his touch did not stop there. He followed all the way to his neck and then to his face, stopping on his cheek, slow as if he wanted to memorize every part of his skin. There was nothing but adoration in his gaze, and Kaveh felt it too.

He couldn't believe it, that someone like Alhaitham, someone he loved, the only person who had ever understood him, who could help him grow, the only one with whom he allowed himself to believe he could have anything resembling a home again, wanted him too. That had to be a dream and Kaveh didn't want to wake up.

"I feel it when I look at you," Alhaitham continued, his words as sweet as honey and his hand as soft as love. "I don't want to see anyone but you. If I had to choose between the rest of the world and you, I would choose you a million times over. I want to be for you and for you to be for me. Is that the same as your love, Kaveh?"

No, what was that?

Kaveh felt himself melt and could only bury himself in Alhaitham's shoulder to cover his face. He wanted to scream, but that wouldn't be very kind to his dragon's ears, so he just grunted. Alhaitham stroked his back until he could formulate words.

"I believe in you," he murmured, swallowing the rest of his words.

Alhaitham used the hand on his back to guide him and gently turn him over. In a moment, Kaveh was under the man, his face burning and his wide-open ruby eyes uncovered. He no longer felt so shy when he discovered that Alhaitham's ears also glowed a soft red that ran down his neck. Alhaitham must have been nervous. The revelation hit him hard. Something that made Alhaitham nervous.

He felt safe, well surrounded by locks of hair falling from Alhaitham.

Kaveh loved him.

This time, he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in.

Then they kissed, slow but steady, as if they wanted to discover and memorize every detail of each other's lips. When Kaveh sought the way under Alhaitham's shirt, he met it with a sharp intake of breath. Alhaitham turned off the light. An instant later, Alhaitham rolled off him and turned him around to embrace him from behind. Strong arms encircled his waist and Kaveh shuddered in anticipation as he felt his cocks against his back. There was one last kiss on the back of his neck that made all his hairs stand on end, and then...

"Good night."

Uh...?

Chapter Text

They had confessed to each other, they had kissed, Kaveh's insides had burned for Alhaitham to rearrange them, yet nothing happened.

He didn't understand.

It was Alhaitham who suggested he read the diary and began to move all these feelings inside Kaveh.

Maybe Alhaitham wasn't interested in that, which was totally valid because they were both different species. Maybe he was just teasing him. Maybe Kaveh was going to explode if he didn't try to get him between his legs.

Now that they were a couple, Alhaitham began to sleep cuddled up against him, and Kaveh couldn't help but drown in his scent and warmth, trapped under his arms. He had to breathe and find a way to calm his body each time.

It would have been so easy to ask him, but if Alhaitham told him he wasn't interested that way, it would be too embarrassing and Kaveh would have to explode.

Thus, he went for the second option.

Provoke him until he reacted.

Kaveh didn't quite know how to do that, so he started at the beginning.

He was still a bit clumsy in those times, with all the feelings swirling around inside him and craving for Alhaitham, while at the same time fearing that he would disappear if Kaveh closed his eyes a little too long.

He began by letting his hands roam freely. He would let his hand rest on Alhaitham's chest for a few seconds longer, or, as they lay together, rest it on his thigh in a casual gesture, and then look up to meet Alhaitham's gaze. For some reason, the dragon always looked at him in amusement, and Kaveh had to give up that attempt wondering if he looked silly from nerves.

Later, he set about ignoring the spring weather and acting like it was suddenly very warm (which didn't end up being a lie when he lived with Alhaitham). So, when he was working on the farm or practicing with the sword or bow, he would get Alhaitham to walk nearby and then take off his blouse with the excuse that he was roasting. That was more interesting, it seemed, because Alhaitham suddenly was very excited to learn how to use weapons. Or, rather, in having Kaveh lean on him to demonstrate how to pull a bow or what the exact sword movement looked like. It was interesting at first, of course, because at some point, Kaveh got too much into the role and began to teach him in earnest. It wasn't until after he thought about the shape of Alhaitham's body against him and how easy it would be for the dragon to press him against the bed and take him as he wished that he remembered his original motive and grunted when he had to please himself once more. It happened enough times that he gave up on that plan.

Suddenly, a really hot day came, and Kaveh found himself drowning in his sweat as he tried to draw something. The library wasn't helping, as closed and oppressive as it was, let alone his partner crushing against him as if he wanted to finish melting him. He complained vaguely in his mind why that palace didn't have a lake crossing it or something like there was in the one he lived in with his parents, when he remembered.

Actually, there was a lake, on the way to town. It was far enough away from the village that no one would bother to make the trip when there was a water source closer, but close enough to the palace that it wouldn't take any time at all if Alhaitham carried him on his back.

"Haitham, let's go to the lake!," he asked in desperation, shaking Alhaitham off him.

Alhaitham grunted as his pillow resisted him.

"Why do you want to go out? We can stay and get some sleep."

Kaveh was incredulous. There was no way he'd sleep a wink in that heat, unless he slept on a bed of ice.

"I'll grab a sheet and you can sleep by the lake, but I want to get in the water." He even used his best wet puppy dog eyes. "If I don't get in the water soon, I'll die."

His partner frowned for a moment, but seemed to think of something and smiled.

"Let's go."

In a few minutes, they landed on the shores of the blissful lake.

As Kaveh remembered, the waters were colored green, reflecting the surrounding trees. With the blazing sun above them and the waters so calm and seemingly clean, they were as tempting a sight as the man Alhaitham was transformed back into. As expected, no one was there. They left the sheets and food they brought in a shade before Kaveh went without delay to test the water. The cold prick was welcome on his feet and the prince might well have melted before even getting in.

Kaveh pulled off his blouse without much thought. It wasn't until he had his hands on the waistband of his pants that he turned around to meet Alhaitham's inquisitive eyes.

"Don't let me distract you, get in," he said when Kaveh narrowed his eyes at him.

The fire of shame burned so fast that, along with the heat of the atmosphere, it overwhelmed him. He could resist the urge to cover himself thanks to his previous exhibitionist tendencies.

"You don't distract me—" If anything, he would like to distract Alhaitham. With this in mind, he tried to pull down his pants, but his hands resisted, as if the dragon's eyes were pinning him to the spot. "Turn around."

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows in amusement, then turned his back on him without complaint.

Kaveh gave him a sidelong glance as he finished removing his clothes, but Alhaitham didn't even move. That went down badly in his stomach.

It was okay if Alhaitham wasn't attracted to him like that, okay? As long as he loved him. But if Alhaitham didn't like him that way, wasn't Kaveh making a fool of himself for no reason, expecting more than Alhaitham was willing to give him?

He didn't look at Alhaitham again. He let the water wash away his thoughts. It was cold, stinging on his skin and drowning his nerves.

Kaveh closed his eyes, diving into the water, and in the isolated world he almost thought it didn't matter anymore. If Alhaitham didn't want to, he didn't want to. And if he hadn't thought of him that way, maybe he didn't even realize he'd been trying to get him to fuck him. He had nothing to be ashamed of either, did he?

The silence was interrupted by the water moving and Kaveh emerged with the last thread of breath only to find himself three feet away from Alhaitham's bare chest.

He choked on the water and air and coughed a little, stopping Alhaitham from coming over to help him by putting a hand between them. Now the water, thankfully, was dark enough that his view was no further than the curve of the dragon's waist, but behind him was a new pile of clothes where a pair of pants was lying.

"Are you all right?" Alhaitham asked, without any mocking tone this time.

Kaveh recovered enough to speak.

"Are you naked?!"

Alhaitham snorted, his countenance quickly relaxing.

"You got naked first and you're going to forbid me again?"

Kaveh was plunged into the cold lake, but his body found a way to warm up.

"I didn't say anything like that!" he excused himself, closing his arms over his chest.

"Good."

Alhaitham took a step forward.

Kaveh took a step back. Or tried to. The ground wasn't where he expected it and his heart skipped a beat as he was thrown off balance, feeling himself sinking. He reached out in vain. Alhaitham was faster. The fall was stopped by Alhaitham's arms around his waist, and Kaveh reflexively held on to whatever he could.

So, no sooner had his heart recovered from the scare than he felt himself falling once more as he found himself in Alhaitham's arms, pressed tightly against his hard, massive, godly body, special to Kaveh, with his fucking cocks branding against his stomach, his heart leaping in his chest and...

He said he was going to forget about having him or something.

"Be careful where you—"

Fuck him.

Kaveh lunged at Alhaitham's lips, eating the rest of his words. Alhaitham's nails dug into Kaveh's skin, but he followed the kiss instantly. They had kissed many times before, though not like this. Not with so much eagerness and desire imbued in their movements, not opening their mouths to give themselves to each other. Kaveh was going to push his tongue into Alhaitham's mouth, but Alhaitham was quicker, as always. And much more dominant, as hard as it was for the prince to accept. Alhaitham invaded his mouth the same way he invaded his life, abruptly and without warning. Just as then, Kaveh was delighted to let him in.

It undid his rational thinking, really, how suddenly everything was fire, burning from every place Alhaitham brushed, every part of his body accepting him as if it didn't mind crumbling for him. The waiting had succeeded in making him care about nothing but clinging to Alhaitham.

His hands found their way between the two of them to close over Alhaitham's pecs and they felt so firm, so hard against him, he adored them. It was all he could hold on to as Alhaitham's grip marked the shape of his body until it reached his ass, squeezing it with a force that made him gasp in the midst of his kisses.

In one motion, Alhaitham spread Kaveh's legs and lifted him up. Kaveh locked his thighs around Alhaitham's waist, trying to take advantage of the moment to catch his breath, but the dragon wouldn't let him rest for a second, seeking his mouth no matter how hard he tried to pull away. Kaveh couldn't even be bothered if he choked on his lips. Their erections now rubbed against each other in the middle of them, ignoring the environment and just focusing on each other, and Kaveh felt himself unraveling a little with each friction against the two cocks that were beginning to grow for him. He strained to grind against Alhaitham.

"Hai— ah-"

He couldn't even complete the name because Alhaitham had opened his ass with the hunger of an animal, and water also seeped inside as his long fingers pushed their way into his entrance.

Kaveh dug his nails into Alhaitham's chest. His eyes rolled back with the intrusion into his ass, the finger taking advantage of the water to open him up and push inside him with precision. As if he had memorized it, and perhaps he did, Alhaitham pressed forward and a shock of pleasure made Kaveh gasp uncontrollably. His consciousness began to unravel as Alhaitham smiled over his lips and began to knead his prostate again and again, inserting a second finger. All of that was so much more than Kaveh had even dreamed of.

Now it was a mess of moans and gasps, plus his head was starting to itch from the burning sun on them and he felt his body burning more and more and Alhaitham was so, so good...

Had he really only read about that?

"Air," begged Kaveh at last.

Instantly, Alhaitham released his mouth so that he could gasp in peace and slowed the pace of his fingers so that Kaveh could lean against his shoulder and catch his breath. Alhaitham wasn't much better, his neck was a red that extended to his face and his breathing was ragged, nothing like normally. Still, he restrained himself from continuing to push his erections against the prince.

Kaveh still moaned from time to time, unable to ask Alhaitham to stop stretching him because he really wanted it, but his mind cleared enough to realize that this was really happening.

And he wondered, why the fuck hadn't it happened before?

His body didn't want to let go of Alhaitham's anymore. It needed more.

"Haitham, I—"

"Look! I told you there was a lake here!"

He felt himself freeze instantly, rebounding straight. The problem was, his muscles didn't seem to get the message, as his insides continued to melt with Alhaitham, and he couldn't contain the moan that escaped him as the movement led to the fingers going deeper inside. As if he didn't care, the dragon continued to thrust inside him.

"That's right!"

"Hey, are there people here already?"

Kaveh pushed Alhaitham so roughly that he staggered a little, and only then let go of the prince.

"Someone's coming!" Kaveh shrieked, moving away from Alhaitham as if he were fire, and he more or less was. "You don't do these things when there's someone else!"

Alhaitham grunted in protest as Kaveh turned to look in the direction the voices were coming from, but did not insist. They seemed to be some merchants coming from between the trees on the other side of the lake. Luckily, they didn't notice anything strange in the distance, and they casually waved in their direction and began setting up their things to get into the water.

"Let's go home then," Alhaitham insisted with his arms crossed as Kaveh turned his attention back to him. His voice was hoarse and his pupils dilated.

Kaveh had to dig his nails into his palms to keep from kissing him again.

"If we leave now, it's going to look like we're leaving because they came."

Alhaitham arched his eyebrows.

"We're leaving because they came."

"But they don't have to know that!"

Alhaitham: ...

"I don't understand."

Kaveh began a long explanation of how one had to consider the feelings of others in this sort of thing even if it was a stranger. Soon they were discussing why one should care about what others thought when you didn't really know what they would think if you did x or y, and you were just acting on assumptions. In the end, they couldn't come to an agreement and forgot to even swim, sitting on the shore to continue.

It was funny. Kaveh simply chalked it up to the fact that, if human courtesy was already difficult for him, it would be too complicated for Alhaitham.

So it was that, until they were tucked in to sleep later in the night, Kaveh completely forgot that they hadn't commented on... whatever that making out session was. And by then, Alhaitham was already asleep and cuddling up to Kaveh as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Meanwhile, in Kaveh's mind he was still very much aware of the shape of Alhaitham's naked body against his, their cocks pressing against his, his fingers digging into his ass.

Oh, he was going crazy.

There was no way he was going to sleep that night. 

Chapter Text

The first thing he felt was the hot breath on his neck. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he shivered, gasping in surprise. Instantly, he tried to roll over or move or cover his neck, but he could do neither, trapped under the well-built body of his captor. The man let out a chuckle at his attempt and Kaveh recognized him immediately.

“H-Haitham? What are you doing?!” His voice shook, betraying his growing interest.

Paying attention, he immediately became aware of the situation.

He was pinned down on the bed, face flat on the soft mattress. Fuck. Alhaitham was pinning him down on the bed. He could feel his already hard dick pushing against a pillow under him, surely staining it with the precum that leaked from him at the realization that he didn’t have his pants on. He was naked waist down, and Alhaitham was spreading his legs open. He was holding Kaveh's hands above his head with one hand, while the other was in between his ass cheeks. He already had two fingers inside, stretching his hole as easily as if it was made to receive him.

“W-What-?,” he moaned. He was about to complain, then the dragon curled his finger inside and his mind went blank.

“Isn't this what you want, Kaveh?” Alhaitham scoffed as he pressed a third finger inside him, cutting off his breath with a groan. “Drooling over my cocks all day, secretly masturbating for me. You're so adorable, aren’t you?”

Kaveh blushed so hard he felt he wouldn't have any blood left for anything else. His dick took it upon itself to prove otherwise, twitching with arousal at the dragon's words. For a moment, he could only moan.

Right, he was. Kaveh tried so hard to get Alhaitham like this, so very ready to take him.

“Won’t you say anything?” Alhaitham provoked, leaning closer to him. Now his cocks pressed against Kaveh’s thigh, making the poor prince whimper as he realized how hard Alhaitham was for him.

In that position, he only saw Alhaitham out of the corner of his eye, but he smiled for him anyway.

“If you know I'm dying for your cocks, why don't you just come in already?”

Alhaitham snorted. He pulled his fingers out all at once, and Kaveh cried in disappointment, his hole tightening as he belatedly tried to keep him inside.
“Whatever Your Highness desires.”

Alhaitham grabbed Kaveh’s ass, spreading his cheeks open, and Kaveh could swear he was admiring the way his hole was now red and gaping for him. Then, he traced his way to the point where Kaveh’s back began, leaving his skin tingling whenever he passed, every one of his touches fueling the fire inside him. He only needed a single finger to press that sweet spot and Kaveh's face sank deeper into the sheets. As Alhaitham moved forward, Kaveh felt his erection positioning between his cheeks.

Kaveh held his breath, his entire world hazy as he anticipated the moment of truth. There was no warning before Alhaitham pushed inside. He entered all the way in, his balls slapping against Kaveh's ass as he filled him so well, Kaveh cried out loudly. The prince squirmed reflexively, but towards Alhaitham, letting himself go in the heat that filled him to the core.

And his mind clouded a little, or the world distorted and unraveled a little, as Alhaitham began to move, thrusting in and out to the rhythm of Kaveh's short moans. It was like fire inside him, opening him up and leaving his mind confused, drowning in the sensation.

He didn't really notice until Alhaitham's heat that was so clear a moment ago began to writhe around him. Kaveh thrust back against that warmth as the world fell apart and cried at the sensation of Alhaitham's hands disappearing from his waist.

He needed it, needed it so badly.

Without that sensation filling him, his body was on fire, his erection and his insides writhing with no one to attend to them. How dare Alhaitham leave him like this?

“Haitham—,” he groaned pitifully.

As quickly as it came undone, the world began to assemble again and Alhaitham's heat returned to him, surrounding him, his scent as clear as day. Most importantly, his cock pressed hard against Kaveh's ass.

Why wasn't it inside him?

Kaveh ground his ass against the familiar bulge at his back. He groaned in frustration as he fought his pants down. Alhaitham still had his, the fabric but a bother preventing them from feeling each other. Kaveh didn't even know how they were somehow wearing them again; he just knew he craved for more.

“Haitham—”

He kept his eyes closed even as his fingers scraped their way to his edge, eager to scratch that aching warmth inside him. Alhaitham's scent was intoxicating. His arms trapping him against his waist, his confused breathing on the back of Kaveh’s neck. All that just fed the heat Kaveh sought to appease inside him.
For so long, all he wanted was for Alhaitham to fuck him senseless

Why wasn’t he fucking him senseless?

Kaveh found the spot and shrank back, clenching his fingers with a lewd gasp. There. He still had the sensation of Alhaitham filling him so well in memory, desperately grinding his prostate with his fingers, and now the vivid sensation of Alhaitham's erections on his lower back was added too.

“Please,” he whimpered, needy.

Suddenly, Alhaitham’s hand moved down Kaveh's stomach, making its way under his clothes. He pressed his belly, sending their bodies even closer in one motion. Alhaitham’s fingers burned on his skin, making him whimper. With his other hand, Alhaitham held his chin and forced Kaveh to turn back and face him, lips so close to his gaping mouth.

“Please what, Kaveh?”

Fuck.

Kaveh’s eyes snapped open.

The world was suddenly so vivid, so illuminated and so real that it was like a bucket of cold water. He had the hottest dream of his life just to wake up in a daze and grind against his lover like a dog in heat. He should have been embarrassed, writhed in shame, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Not even a bucket of cold water could appease the scorching need that was binding their bodies together right now, not with Alhaitham’s hot body pressed against his back, not with his hands leaving prickles of pleasure wherever they touched.

It clouded his mind again, the pleasure he had so longed for drowning out his senses and driving him mad.

Kaveh pulled his fingers out with a wet sound, then grabbed his cheeks and spread them open. He presented himself to Alhaitham, seeking the relief of union with someone else, his someone else.

There was no shame when he begged:

“Fuck me.”

A guttural grunt came from Alhaitham and the next second, Kaveh was buried into the mattress. Oh, how he relished the sight of Alhaitham on top of him, spreading his legs open to get in between them. His throbbing cock was now exposed to Alhaitham’s eyes only, and he had no head to even be embarrassed when the dragon was already ripping off his pants, finally releasing his erections.

The two long, thick cocks dripped precum on Kaveh as they bounced out. They were red and so hard, Kaveh lifted his hips with a needy moan. Alhaitham held his cocks together and began pumping himself eagerly, but his attention wasn’t on himself.

Alhaitham had his eyes on Kaveh, his dilated pupils had a certain edge at the sides, fixating on his prince as if he was holding back the urge to thrust into him right away and Kaveh simply didn’t know why. His lips parted to regularize that soft panting Kaveh had felt on the back of his neck, and a sweet pink was already spreading through his body.

Kaveh's dick throbbed with interest at being watched so passionately.

“Haitham,” he cried again, resisting the impulse to touch himself as he lifted his hips and wriggled his ass, silently begging for him.

Alhaitham groaned at the sight and wrapped his waist with one hand, while the other moved to press two fingers on his rim. Only then Kaveh resisted, closing his legs around Alhaitham’s

“I've already prepared myself,” he whined, “just put it in.”

Alhaitham inhaled sharply and a smile crept across his lips as he gave up and placed one of his cocks on Kaveh's entrance:

“You've been preparing for me since the night in the library, haven't you?”

Kaveh's eyes widened, his breath halting at the memory. Shaky panting, fingers stretching his insides, and finally coming calling Alhaitham’s name.

It couldn't be.

That noise in the library. It wasn’t only his imagination, was it?

“Did you hear— Ah—” Kaveh didn't even have time to mumble his surprise.

Alhaitham’s tip slipped inside and Kaveh opened his mouth in a silent “oh” as the thick length tore him apart. He breached his insides slowly and carefully, so Kaveh could feel every inch, every vein, every twitch of the cock stretching him open.

“My prince is so greedy,” Alhaitham teased, though he didn't look much better, his body trembling a little from the strength it was taking to hold back.

Kaveh’s cheeks became hot red, but he couldn't say much when his body was letting Alhaitham in with no questions asked. And gods, it was so hot. He gasped like a fish out of water, the words stuck in his throat, and he clutched at the sheets under him. Yes, he had prepared so diligently for Alhaitham, but there he was, splitting in two with just the intrusion of his huge cock.

“So big,” he moaned without thinking, and Alhaitham grew bigger inside him, pressing his walls in all the right places.

Alhaitham kept his piercing eyes on him, finger drawing a circle on Kaveh's belly.

“You'll take it for me, won't you? You'll be good for me.”

He certainly wasn't in his right mind, for he nodded frantically.

Alhaitham laughed, that soft laugh that gave him butterflies in his stomach, right where he was touching. He bent over Kaveh, leaning on his elbows to support himself over him, and now he was so close in a nice, intimate gesture. Kaveh quickly let go of the sheets to cling to Alhaitham. Wrapping his arms around Alhaitham’s neck, he lifted himself up to press his lips to the dragon's. He didn't even have the consciousness to move them, but every touch felt so good.

Alhaitham's balls slapped against his ass when he buried himself to the brim, the soft sound that escaped Kaveh melting into their kiss.

It was good, really good, and Kaveh was aware this was everything he wanted whenever he thought of making love with Alhaitham.

But the bastard was so fucking slow.

There was a little voice in his head telling him it was strange. Despite how big Alhaitham’s erection was, he felt no pain. No, actually, his insides were burning with need. He thrust backwards only to thrust forward again and couldn't hold back the gasp, making Alhaitham grunt alongside him

Alhaitham had seen him masturbating for him, cumming on his behalf, and now he was still inside, not moving even though Kaveh felt as if he was going to be consumed in his heat. His stomach was twisting already, so full of Alhaitham.

And it was not enough.

There was a horrible itch in his belly now, growling to be scratched.

He sank his teeth on Alhaitham's lip, devoured the way the dragon shuddered against him.

He could pleasure Alhaitham too, and oh, it was too easy.

“I’ll take you,” his voice nothing more than a tantalizing whisper against Alhaitham’s mouth, a challenge. “Move for me.”

Alhaitham's eyes clouded with desire, a perfect mirror of his own.

“You’ll be the death of me.”

But he started. He slid back, causing Kaveh to growl and claw at Alhaitham's lower back like he couldn’t afford to let him go now. Alhaitham smirked, his breath brushing against Kaveh's lips, and then he pushed forward. Kaveh moaned loudly, his thoughts fraying as Alhaitham’s whole length thrust into his very being.

“Shit,” Alhaitham growled, eyes narrowing as Kaveh’s tight heat enveloped him, tempted him to stay inside forever.

At the end, who was he to refuse?

Alhaitham began to move, his thrusts fast and deep. The wet sound of spanking filled the air with his cock scraping Kaveh’s insides with its full length, all the while his other erection rubbed his belly, painfully hard as it fucked itself against Kaveh’s balls.

Hot, so hot, it was burning him from the inside out. Was it supposed to feel this good?

With every friction, the pleasure only grew, drowning out his surroundings and leaving him with only Alhaitham.

Kaveh could only dig his nails into Alhaitham’s back, a poor attempt to anchor himself to something.

Alhaitham, on top of him, for once did not look the littlest bit serene or controlled. His gray hair fell to Kaveh's sides and slid back and forth with each thrust, tickling Kaveh’s skin. The blush had reached his face and Alhaitham kept his mouth open, panting heavily, eyelashes fluttering as he tried to hold his gaze. All while moving his hips as if he couldn't restrain himself.
So damn beautiful.

“Mine,” Kaveh whispered like a prayer.

It was true. This man was his. The love of his life, his complement, the only one who would be there for him. He knew Kaveh inside and out, and there he was still. Now and forever.

The heat seemed to increase then and Kaveh raised his hips as best he could, each penetration sending him a little closer to relief.

Alhaitham opened his eyes a little wider in surprise, and Kaveh leaned his face up to reach his lover’s lips. Though he could barely brush them as the dragon made them bounce on the bed with each penetration, he persisted desperately. A smile tugged at Alhaitham's lips at his attempts.

“All yours.”

This was everything he wanted.

Kaveh closed his eyes tightly, moaning pathetically as pleasure washed over him. Waves of ecstasy left him trembling, clinging to Alhaitham for dear life. His back arched, his body brushing against Alhaitham's firm chest, and his semen shot out between their bellies, but Alhaitham did not stop.

In the middle of the crushing haze, a light steam began to emanate from Alhaitham's mouth and Kaveh vaguely wondered if it was his imagination as the heat increased between the two of them, filling the air.

He had only just come, but he felt like he was on the edge again, haphazardly following Alhaitham's movements with his hips, that overwhelming feeling building in his belly. It was the heat, he realized somewhere in his burning mind. He didn't even have to touch himself, for he felt himself unraveling with every thrust.

Too much, too soon.

He would die.

Alhaitham left Kaveh’s lips to leave hot open-mouthed kisses on his jawline, moving towards his sensitive ears. Kaveh couldn’t help but reach down and bury his nails in Alhaitham's ass, making him groan. He was so close his eyes blurred, but it seemed to him that there was something scaly extending from the middle of Alhaitham’s lower back. It escaped his mind what it could be, completely enthralled in the feeling of his rapidly approaching climax.

“You fill me so~ w-well,” Kaveh cried as Alhaitham aimed at his sweet spot with an especially hard thrust. “I’m burning, Haitham, I’m burning-”

Alhaitham nipped at his earlobe, the low throaty sound that escaped him sending shivers right down his spine. “Come for me.”

One of Alhaitham's hands wrapped around Kaveh's forgotten cock and squeezed it. That was it.

Kaveh arched up, eyes rolling back as jumped off the cliff. With a moan coming from deep in his throat, his mind unraveled, leaving with the waves of pleasure that washed away his thoughts. The spurt of cum shot over his shirt and spilled over Alhaitham's hand, his insides clenched tightly around Alhaitham’s cock, yet none of that stopped the dragon from continuing to thrust inside him, sending him deeper into ecstasy.

Kaveh’s nails raked Alhaitham's ass with his nails, unable to speak as Alhaitham fucked him through his orgasm. Alhaitham’s rhythm hesitated, and pleading eyes met with his.

“Can I—?”

Alhaitham began to pull out and Kaveh groaned in displeasure. He was shaking like he was about to explode, yet he still whimpered out, “Yesyesyees.”

Kaveh squeezed Alhaitham between his thighs, willing him to stay, and he writhed helplessly when the dragon finally came inside him. Hot liquid poured inside him, painting his walls white with its force, and Kaveh took it all, forcing every drop of cum to shoot deep inside his core.

This orgasm was over too soon for his liking, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath, but relief wouldn’t really come. His mouth was drooling and his cock was throbbing again as if he had never cum.

Impossible.

He wanted more.

Alhaitham pulled away enough for Kaveh to see him, eyes widening. Emerald horns protruded from his head, ending in two spikes each. Alhaitham's eyes seemed even sharper, clouded with desire.

“Haitham, what—?”

But Alhaitham was already coming out of him, cum splashing out of his hole by the force of his movement, and in a second, he was pulling Kaveh to the edge of the bed, his nails... no, his claws digging into his skin painfully just made Kaveh groan in pleasure. He flipped Kaveh onto his stomach, face flattened against the sheets wet and smelly with their sweat and juices

Kaveh rose up on his feet, causing his ass to stand in the air. He felt so exposed, his hole gaping in the air as his cock burned for Alhaitham to continue. So hot. Kaveh wanted to see more, but he couldn't from that position. He could only feel. Alhaitham’s cum dripping down his thighs, Alhaitham’s hands pinning him down, Alhaitham’s claws digging in his skin. Alhaitham, Alhaitham, Alhaitham. How he wanted Alhaitham.

In no time, the dragon was at his entrance again and this time both cocks were pressing against his rim, and the prince’s dick, tip barely brushing the bed, twitched all the while his belly writhed with the unbearable need to be filled.

“Again?” Alhaitham’s tone was so desperate, one of the tips already pushing inside, forcing a helpless moan out of Kaveh. “I waited so long, will you be good for me, Kaveh?”
“I am good,” he whimpered.

His ass was dripping for Alhaitham and now he wasn't sure if it was only cum or... It couldn't be anything else, could it? No. Suddenly, he panicked. Alhaitham’s cum was dripping out. He couldn’t have that. Overtaken by a mind-numbing need, Kaveh clawed at the sheets, frantically thrusting back to take more of Alhaitham's cock.

“I’m so good. Haitham.”

Alhaitham started to push deeper in. Not enough.

“Both,” Kaveh howled.

He thrust back and forth between Alhaitham's cocks and the friction of the sheets against the tip of his erection. He was so wet, so aroused, he felt he could take them both.

No.

Gods, he needed to take them both.

“Please.”

Alhaitham let out a soft laugh of disbelief and the hand holding Kaveh against the sheets clutched at his waist, its claws sinking easily into his skin. A little more pressure and it would tear.

“As you wish.”

A new tip pressed against Kaveh's edge and he felt breathless as it began to push forward. It felt like he was going to break this time, but he didn't, slowly stretching open for Alhaitham. The sheets were not enough support and moans escaped him without him being able to restrain them. He didn’t care for anything but the thick cocks splitting him apart. Eyes rolled back and mouth gaped for air. At last, the burning inside him was being relieved and he took it all in.

This level of pleasure couldn’t be normal. Alhaitham was doing something to him, he was melting his brain.

“Move.”

How had he lived without having Alhaitham inside him until then?

Alhaitham’s thrusts began driving inside him at a crazy speed, his desperation matching Kaveh’s.

The sound of their bodies colliding was now accompanied by the sticky sound of cum escaping his hole in splashes and staining Alhaitham’s thighs, leaving a mess between the two of them.

With every thrust, Alhaitham’s cocks rubbed against his sweet spot by its very size and Kaveh couldn't even speak to complain that his lover was wasting his seed. Kaveh could only let himself be used and hope he put much more inside, fill him all day, every day, like he was nothing but a cum dumpster.

Alhaitham leaned over Kaveh and intertwined his fingers with his claws, hand stained with emerald scales. In that position, Alhaitham’s back was pressed against his own, and he reached much deeper, forcing a raw groan out of Kaveh.

“Look at this,” he growled against the back of his neck.

He helped Kaveh bring his hand to his belly and, in a single movement, filled him to the edge.

Kaveh noticed it then, a bulge under his fingers.

His eyes widened as Alhaitham went backwards and the bulge disappeared only to appear again the moment he thrust all the way in. Kaveh didn’t even moan, at that moment he cried. Tears slid down his cheeks, joining the mess that was his face wet with the liquids on the mattress and his drool. They were both trembling, too sensitive to last too long, but that didn't stop them. It was as if Alhaitham was rearranging his insides, thrusting so deep with nothing to stop him.

He was so full of Alhaitham and he loved it.

“Inside,” Kaveh whined, walls clenching tightly around Alhaitham’s throbbing cocks, milking him for all he was worth

Alhaitham smiled down on him and then brought his hand to Kaveh's cock, pushing pitifully against the sheets and leaking precum everywhere. Only that touch had Kaveh breaking out in pathetic moans, the scales of Alhaitham’s hand rubbing against his throbbing erection so delicious. Each thrust of Alhaitham made his hand move up and down it, paving the way to climax.

“So desperate for me,” Alhaitham teased. Kaveh couldn’t see, but he was sure Alhaitham was admiring him now, what a mess he made him, as if he himself wasn't panting and moving his hips eagerly just to devour him.

Kaveh could only cling to the sheets, the intensity of it all a second away from pushing him over the edge, twisting his insides.

He began to tremble and stifled a moan in anticipation, digging his nails wherever he could, and then.

Alhaitham tightened his grip on the base of Kaveh’s cock and Kaveh snapped his eyes open, gasping and writhing and insane with need. Trapped fully inside him, Alhaitham stopped his thrusts and Kaveh felt his orgasm hang over him in that burning heat that wouldn't let him think straight.

He had to cum, he wanted to cum, if he didn't cum he would die.

“Haitham,” and he had never sounded so devastated for anything in his life.

“If I cum right now, I’ll breed you for sure,” Alhaitham growled against his neck, then he begged like he needed this to survive, like he needed Kaveh to survive, “Can I breed you? Bear my children, please?”

Kaveh's hand was still on his belly, brushing the bulge. The image of his womb filling not only with Alhaitham's seed, but also with his children, their children, drew a moan directly from his throat. A family for both of them, as he could only dream of. He knew it was impossible and yet he gasped to plead:

“Yes, yes, fill me up. Breed me, Haitham.”

Alhaitham smiled next to him and released his erection.

The world fell apart around Kaveh, and he closed his eyes as the orgasm passed through his body like lightning. His legs that could barely support him failed him and he dropped limply into Alhaitham's gentle grip. He buried his face on the damp sheets, inhaling the dirty scent that was theirs as Alhaitham thrust deep inside him. Fangs buried in his neck and Kaveh could barely cry out, overwhelmed by the bliss of it all.

Alhaitham’s cum spilled inside him with force. Kaveh tried to lift his hips up to meet his seed, but he slipped down again, legs too shaky to do anything but take it all when Alhaitham grabbed his waist up.

His mind faded for a moment, following the orgasm with his whole body.

Then his insides were stretching impossibly, eyes widening as he realized. There was something else filling him up. Oh. Oh. He couldn’t make out the shape, couldn’t think of anything else, couldn’t even move with Alhaitham forcing him down with his whole body. He could only try to breathe, panting like a bitch, mind going numb and mouth falling slack.

His stomach swelled beyond reason the more those slippery things buried inside him and Kaveh sobbed, so incredibly turned on, he couldn’t bear it anymore. The moment he thought he was going to pass out, the feelings stopped. He was still stuffed full, yet those things inside him stayed still and a soft kiss was planted on his neck.

“It’s okay,” Alhaitham gently coaxed his mind to come back, licking his bite before letting more open-mouthed kisses down his back and on his shoulders. Kaveh whimpered pathetically and Alhaitham caressed his hair. “I’m here. I’ll pull out now, okay?”

Somewhere in his mind, that rang a bell of alert.

He didn’t want that, did he?

Kaveh tried to complain then, but his mouth could only produce pitiful sounds, and Alhaitham’s cocks backed down slowly no matter how hard he tried to squeeze them inside.

Finally, Alhaitham pulled out completely and helped his limbless lover onto his back.

Looking down to his belly, Kaveh realized there was still a bulge where those things Alhaitham laid inside him stayed. Full. He was still so full. Kaveh liked that. He loved the way it felt under his hands. Was he really pregnant now? Not a good idea, a soft voice reminded him from the backs of his mind, and he couldn’t make out why.

Alhaitham stared down at him with hazy eyes, taking on the sight of Kaveh spread under him like that as if he wanted to save it on fire in his mind. It took him some seconds to snap back, climbing on top of Kaveh again, looking for his eyes.

“Kaveh,” he called, making his prince lazily move his eyes from his belly to his beautiful lover. “I’ll take them out.”

It was like Alhaitham had threatened to tear him open. Kaveh hugged his stomach protectively, crying out in protest and scowling at him.

Alhaitham’s gaze softened.

“You’re so lovely, darling, but they’re infertile,” he said, gently keeping Kaveh down as he spread his legs open. Kaveh tried to writhe out, but there was no use, he had no strength at all. Alhaitham still scoffed softly at his attempts, then seemed to think about it and said, “I’ll fill you up with fertile ones next time, okay? And I’ll let you keep them; you just have to let me take these eggs out now. Be good?”

Kaveh glared at Alhaitham for only a second more as he processed his words. He wanted to be good. He could have fertile eggs if he was good. He finally decided it worked, and stopped struggling, letting Alhaitham settle in between his legs.

The feeling of fingers breaching his sensitive insides sent his mind reeling again. Alhaitham was effective, easily catching one of the eggs and starting to pull it off, making Kaveh’s breath caught on his throat.

The feeling was so much like a cock, he moaned again, and Kaveh couldn’t even pay proper attention to the raspy tail tangling lazily around his thigh, trying to keep him nice and still. A single egg had him grabbing the sheets under him, panting, arching his back to meet Alhaitham’s fingers. It hurt so good.

Then the second egg pushed his prostate on his way out, and that was it.

Too sensitive.

Too much.

There was electricity coursing through his body.

When his eyes rolled back this time, the world turned black around him and he let go.

-

When Kaveh came to, he was in the bathtub, back pressed against Alhaitham’s chest as his lover embraced him from behind. He felt like jelly, and it took him some seconds to remember what had happened, letting his mind wander off in the warmth of Alhaitham’s arms.

Alhaitham's dragon features were still there. He asked about it lazily, and Alhaitham explained it was hard to control his transformation in the midst of the arousal. Kaveh enjoyed thinking it was partly because of him. He appreciated how beautiful the scales looked on Alhaitham's human skin and it occurred to him that, for some reason, the tail and horns only made him look more adorable.

“How wild you are,” he grumbled in a half-voice as the dragon rubbed his scalp, leaning into his touch naturally. For the first time, he was glad the tub was big enough to fit two adults together. “You could have warned me you were going to dry me off and breed me.”

Alhaitham snorted in amusement.

“You didn't ask,” he explained simply, “and you'll have to excuse me for forgetting to mention it when you were already grinding against me and asking me to fuck you.”

“Ha!” Kaveh pretended the blush didn't spread to his neck.

“Besides,” Alhaitham added softly, perhaps a bit sheepishly, “I knew dragon sexual fluids were aphrodisiacs, but I didn't know how strong the effect was.”

Kaveh realized then.

Alhaitham had never been with anyone before him, just as Kaveh had never been with anyone before Alhaitham.

Ugh, he had no reason to make their first time that good.

Kaveh couldn't help it, his chest tightened with joy.

“Hmm, well that's fine,” a smile crept into Kaveh's voice. “We'll just have to keep investigating together, won't we?”

Alhaitham said nothing for a moment, then deposited a chaste kiss in the middle of Kaveh's exposed nape, stifling the soft throb of pain from the bite.

“Whenever you wish, Your Highness.”

As much as he got goosebumps and his body tingled with interest, Kaveh couldn't take another round, so he quickly thought of something to change the subject.

“By the way, those eggs… you couldn’t be serious when you said you’d fill me with fertilized eggs, right? You do know that human males can't get pregnant, right?” Biology. After all, Alhaitham only said that so Kaveh would let him take off the eggs… right? “Besides, since we're of different species...”

Alhaitham listened to Kaveh lecture him on human reproductive biology, and mares and donkeys. Kaveh had found it curious at the time, so he had read a book on the subject and had a lot to spill. It wasn't until they were already in the library resting that Kaveh finished and Alhaitham blurted out, as if it was no big deal:

“Dragons that can shapeshift can breed with any creature they can shapeshift into, that includes males.” A slight smile lifted his lips. “Of course, the process is a bit complicated and requires creating a matrix so the mate can fertilize the eggs. However, if you ever wanted to...”

Alhaitham let the words hang in the air and watched Kaveh shrink onto his stomach as if he was going to give birth at that moment. It was obvious in his eyes that he was enjoying his partner's instant panic.

“No children!”

He didn't know what would happen if they ever came looking for him and found him with a dragon mate and children. He'd rather never know.

-

And the world moved on, not caring in the least if a dragon and a prince had fallen in love.

Kaveh made Alhaitham some noise-cancelling devices, pretty earpieces that fitted him perfectly, and from time to time they would go to the village. With the excuse that he was on vacation and felt like practicing, Kaveh was finally able to practice architecture. He could tell he was as much in love with the profession as he was with Alhaitham. A little bit of gifted materials here and a few tips there, people couldn't but be grateful to their new friend. Although in his mind he kept dreaming of grand structures and incomparable palaces, Kaveh was delighted just to see the smiles of his people.

He thought so in the royal palace. When he was but a prince, he had never had the opportunity to interact with the people, but for some reason they expected him to rule over them. The king had resources, and yet those people slept in the cold because of the cracks in their walls, worked from sun up to sun down, and didn't have half of what Kaveh had in the palace.

If he were the king, could he help them any more than he was now?

He should, shouldn't he? So why was it that every time he thought of the possibility, his heart ached and he could not but turn to Alhaitham, hoping for a gesture of consolation?

Why did he think of Alhaitham with his hands between his own, asking him to go with him?

Every day the palace felt more oppressive, every second he spent inside his body rejected, and he couldn’t calm down until he felt Alhaitham, or until he looked at the horizon through the tower window. There, where no one would recognize him as the crown prince, where he could be only Kaveh the architect, Kaveh who was in love with Alhaitham, Kaveh who wanted to be free.

There he was one morning, leaning against the window frame. The gentle breeze blew unruly locks and the sun rested on Kaveh who hugged himself lazily. He could see the leaves of the trees moving leisurely and heard the birds singing. Occasionally, one would pass from one tree to another.

He was so enraptured by nature and his own ideas that he didn’t notice Alhaitham's presence until his arms came around him from behind, drawing his waist towards him. The taller man let himself lean against him, putting his head on his shoulder to see as well, and his hair brushed Kaveh's face. So casual, as if Alhaitham’s place was where his prince was.

Kaveh felt himself relax instantly, as if his place was where his dragon was.

Alhaitham was not a restriction to him, he was never more than freedom, an opportunity, a helping hand, a sympathetic shoulder. Alhaitham was perhaps the only freedom he had left in this world, and he felt himself relax in his arms.

It clicked.

He wanted this.

He wanted this more than anyone would have ever wanted anything.

Just being like this with the one he loved, he felt so full.

He wasn't going to leave him.

He didn't want to wait for one more day for a fate he hated when freedom was entwining their hands together.

“Haitham—”

“An army is coming,” Alhaitham said at the same time.

The rest of the words stuck in his throat.

Of course, someone had to interrupt. He fixed his eyes on the horizon angrily, but he still planned to tell Alhaitham after they inevitably ended up leaving with nothing, and then they could leave too. See what there was for them in the world and beyond.

He was convinced this time.

Alhaitham tensed on him and only then did Kaveh turn to him.

“What is it?,” he asked at once.

There was no answer.

Kaveh stroked his face, but Alhaitham looked beyond. Confusion. When their eyes finally met, there was concern in them, and then a hardness that Kaveh did not know how to interpret.

“Stop looking at me and answer,” he whined, anxiety rising in his chest.

“The emblem of a tree.” His voice was flat, but he pressed his lips together grimly. “It is the Sumeru army.”

Kaveh didn't know how he managed to stand after that.

With a white flag he signaled that they were not looking for a fight, but Alhaitham stepped into his dragon form to greet the guests, with Kaveh at one side. The army stood at the entrance, and a short white-haired man with a stern look was the only one who stepped forward. Alhaitham snorted fire, which did nothing to intimidate the man, who knelt a few paces away from the prince with his gaze downcast.

“I apologize for bothering you, but the kingdom needs you, Prince— No, King of Sumeru.”

Thus, the prince became king.

Chapter Text

The man, who introduced himself as General Cyno, soon finished explaining himself.

This army they gathered was only to escort the prince back to the royal palace, for after twenty years, the governors had decided they needed him again. The kingdom was going through a civil crisis and the king regent could find no way to solve it, so his people were clamoring for the crown prince to be crowned to save them from that crisis and other shit that Kaveh didn't get to hear with his ears ringing and mind spinning with anxiety.

He heard what he had to hear. They wanted him to go back to the royal palace.

That cold, hollow, insincere royal palace.

The one that, once he entered, he could not leave again until the icy touch of death ended his suffering and corroded his skin until only bones remained.

Yes, he couldn't wait to go.

Cyno said he was asked to take him as soon as possible, so Kaveh casually asked for a moment to gather his things and went up the tower with Alhaitham back to his human form trialing behind. He didn't even pay attention to their gasps of surprise at the change.

"Kaveh."

He needed to think.

"Kaveh."

He was as ready as one could be for many years, but when he decided he didn't want it, they came looking for him?

"Kaveh."

What a good joke.

"Kaveh!"

He awoke as Alhaitham held him by the shoulders, his brows pressed tight in concern. They were already in his room. His whole body trembled. His eyes stung. Somehow, he got there without throwing up.

"I'm fine," he replied automatically.

"You don't look fine."

"I'm fine," he repeated, as if to convince himself, "I just have to... get my things together, yeah."

He tried to turn around. Alhaitham held him in place.

"Kaveh, do you want to do this?"

"What is 'this'?"

'Leave? Leave me, leave you.'

"Go with them."

'I want to be with you.'

"I have to."

"But do you want to?"

The look in Alhaitham's eyes made it a thousand times harder. When he held him like this, when anxiety was crushing him, he just wanted to wrap himself in his arms and stay there until it all passed.

'I don't want this,'

'I don't want this,'

'I don't want this.'

His father gave his life for Kaveh to live this, his mother expected him to do this, people wanted him to do this, he studied years for this.

He breathed so his lips didn't tremble.

"I have to go."

Alhaitham could always look through him. At that moment, what Kaveh really wanted was for Alhaitham to ask him to go with him. Somewhere else. That he would take him without asking, that he wouldn't let him do this stupid thing, wouldn't let him give up his life here. He couldn't do it himself, so...

"I'll go with you."

Kaveh froze.

"What...?"

"I'll go with you."

Alhaitham released him and Kaveh was somehow able to keep standing. He watched in disbelief as the dragon reached for a bag while his mind exploded with questions. After a minute with his mouth open, it came out to him:

"You, you don't like people. Do you know that in the royal palace there are dozens of people? It's not like here and..."

'And your contract only asks you to follow me as long as I'm here. Now you can go wherever you want,' he didn't say. 'Now you can stop loving me.'

Alhaitham sighed and approached him, wrapping him in an embrace. Kaveh was crushed against his chest, and then he could only feel Alhaitham, smell Alhaitham, see Alhaitham.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

This, clinging to Alhaitham's back tightly, feeling tears gathering in his eyes, he could finally say selfishly.

"Yes."

"Then I'm coming with you," Alhaitham resolved, stroking his head as the trembling turned to weeping. "I love you, Kaveh." Oh, may he be forgiven by the way his heart stopped at those words. "I would follow you to the abyss and back."

-

So, Kaveh took Alhaitham's hand and left the palace.

He was not entirely convinced, how could he? Not after having freedom in the palm of his hand only to have it slip away as he was about to close it. But he had Alhaitham, so it couldn't be that horrible, could it?

Kaveh soon discovered that most people were terrified of dragons. Which made sense if he thought about it, because he also expected his grandmother to eat him when they first met. Stories of evil dragons didn't do him any favors, nor that Alhaitham had that air of natural menace. On the other hand, it was amusing to see all those soldiers leave room when Alhaitham passed by. Like, Alhaitham was the sweetest person Kaveh knew, even with all his little things, and he certainly wouldn't attack someone just because they looked in his direction. He wouldn't even kill warriors who tried to end his life, come on. In the end, it was good. No one wanted to question the dragon why he would accompany or why he would sleep in the same room as the prince.

The road was somewhat slow because they dodged all the towns along the way. The only town they entered was the capital, and no one knew how to explain to Kaveh why other than that they were orders from the palace. There was no problem other than that.

They arrived at the palace two days later.

It was as he remembered it.

The large tree in the middle of the city was framed by stairs leading up to the main entrance of the palace. The curious pastel-colored structure overlooked the city from above. From the outside it looked small, but inside there was room for multiple rooms and halls. Too much space for too few people, the prince used to think. There was something else. A certain air of decadence, even when at first glance everything looked the same. Perhaps it was his imagination.

He didn't have time to think about it.

The only thing Kaveh expected, or feared, from the royal palace was to meet his mother. He couldn't put his finger on why he was afraid. Or rather, among so many things, he couldn't pinpoint one specific thing. Was it because she threw him out in the first place? Was it the fear that she had never recovered, that she was still that shell of what she once was? He really didn't want to see her like that. He didn't know what to expect. Or, if she had lived, just as Kaveh had lived, was he afraid she would look him in the eye and find out that, only a few days ago, he had thought of running away?

The king regent received him, and even bowed to him, which made Kaveh's stomach churn even more. However, no matter how hard he searched among the people, his mother seemed to be nowhere to be found.

Alhaitham sat next to him and his uncle didn't dare question his casualness when he introduced him as the dragon who stopped over a dozen armies in the last year. The man then took the opportunity to apologize and say that they didn't intend for anyone to go fight for Kaveh's hand. It was just a silly story that people had made up and then the other kingdoms turned a deaf ear to the announcements that it was nothing of the sort. Alhaitham only said it was no bother (which was true, he always came out of fights unscathed) after Kaveh urged him, and the talk continued without a word of apology towards Kaveh, but a lot of updates on the political situation.

After a long while of explanations, Kaveh couldn't take it anymore and asked about his mother.

"My king," Yes, they had started calling him that regardless of the fact that he had not yet been crowned, "don't you know?" His uncle shook his head as if realizing what he had said. "Of course not, I'm sorry. The queen mother married a nobleman from Fontaine and now lives there. We invited her to the coronation, but she couldn't travel and..."

His body let go. He didn't know whether out of relief or disappointment. He stood firm.

"It's all right. I'll wait for her another time."

The political talk continued.

-

The whole situation was a headache.

Apparently, things had been bad for a while now.

He had been bombarded with political and financial information. In short, there were not enough resources to please the people, who were complaining and asking for more and more. The fact that the king regent had been in government for more than ten years without anything changing had incited demonstrations. Their goddess had not spoken out for decades. The people had always worshipped Kaveh's father and now they demanded that the true heir to the throne come out to take charge of the situation, to help them.

So they had brought Kaveh back and planned to crown him as soon as possible.

'Ridiculous,' he thought as he stepped over the threshold into his new room with Alhaitham following behind. His head was throbbing with information.

There was something ridiculous about it all and it had been plaguing him since the trip back.

He turned to Alhaitham to voice those thoughts and discovered him shedding the outer layer of his clothing. Kaveh watched him in rapt attention until Alhaitham grabbed the edge of his shirt and began to lift it up as well. Oh, right, it turns out that after that time they made love, it became harder to keep Alhaitham dressed. He simply refused to get dressed in his room, and he didn't seem to want to give up this habit even now that they were no longer alone in the palace. Kaveh's face lit up even though he had seen it many times before. Truth be told, he didn't feel like scolding him.

"I want to talk about something?" He started pretending to be offended and tried not to pay attention to Alhaitham's marked crotch line.

"I can talk with my clothes off," Alhaitham continued, finishing pulling his shirt over his head, which left only his torso exposed for Kaveh's gaze to roam freely over it.

Kaveh: ...

He was quick to stop Alhaitham's hands at his sides before they reached the edge of his pants.

"Wait a minute, okay?"

There was a slight smile on Alhaitham's face when instead of going for his pants, he wrapped his arms around Kaveh's waist and sent him straight against his crotch, making the prince let out a little cry.

"Talk to me then," he whispered in that deep voice he used when he wanted to take Kaveh to bed.

Saliva pooled in his mouth and ran down his throat with difficulty. He hated and loved how hard it was for him not to jump for the kiss in that instant.

"What do you think?," Kaveh asked at last.

He didn't specify about what, but Alhaitham understood and his gaze hardened. His grip on Kaveh softened instead, as if to become a pillar for him.

"I don't understand everything about human politics, but... I don't like this."

"I'm not a big fan either," Kaveh admitted.

"They force you to come back after pretending you didn't exist for years and ask you to solve a decades-old problem." His jaw tightened. "Expecting you to do it all is ridiculous."

The knot in his chest eased a little at Alhaitham's words.

Good.

The grumbling died with that momentary relief.

"I'm here now. I've been waiting for this for years. Now that I have the chance to help, I have to try."

And he had to make it right.

Alhaitham didn't look very pleased with his response, but he said nothing. His hand went down to Kaveh's butt. He squeezed and Kaveh let out a little cry. Alhaitham smiled then and reached into his neck, inhaling.

"I trust you," Alhaitham whispered there, making the hairs on the back of Kaveh's neck stand on end.

Kaveh went to circle his neck in response, feeling the stress leave his mind with Alhaitham's nearness, and ground casually against the dragon's bulging crotch.

He hoped he could honor that trust.

-

That same week, the prince was crowned king of Sumeru in a short and discreet ceremony.

Kaveh hoped perhaps for a sign from his goddess that he was doing the right thing and that she supported him in this, but there was nothing. The officers told him that the goddess had not responded for some time, but he must be in favor if she didn't speak out against it. It didn't do much to calm that feeling in his chest.

King Kaveh's rule began without much eventuality, which soon made him feel useless and he asked.

"You need not worry about such matters," said the governor with his head lowered, "We will take care of it. The people will be content if it is in your name."

Kaveh held back his indignation so as not to start berating him at that moment. In whose head was it that he would want to take advantage of other people's work or let them use his name without having any idea what they were doing? Was that what his uncle was doing? It was no wonder then that things were the way they were.

"From now on, you will have to report to me everything that is done in my name or in the name of the royal palace," he ordered with a strained smile. The assisting governors looked at each other, but immediately nodded, "And also..." He had thought about it after talking to Alhaitham. If he suspected one version, he only had to look for the other. "I want to listen to the people."

-

"Did you hear?" A servant sweeping the corridors of the palace began with obvious excitement when she reached where the gardener was working. "They say that the dragon who came with the king was assigned as his personal guard."

The gardener got up at once, dusting himself off quickly.

"Really?" There was a certain nervousness in his voice. Hard to tell if it was because of the woman's insistent gaze or the information. Maybe both. "It's already unbelievable that he brought a dragon, and now he names him his personal guard?"

"And you didn't hear it all!" She tightened her grip on the broom as if to contain her excitement and looked around, as if to make sure no one was there, then leaned toward the man, who was startled, but did not move away. The servant didn't seem to notice and whispered aloud, "I heard the dragon sleeps with the prince."

"S-sleep?!" The gardener covered his mouth as soon as he realized he raised his tone and his face lit up, turning to look around again to find no one.

The servant let out a giggle at his reaction.

"Literally sleeping. Although well, a guard told me he heard sounds that..." She cleared her throat. "As I was saying, isn't it strange?"

The gardener nodded quickly and only then did he dare to uncover his mouth with a serious face.

"The dragons in the stories are evil, what if... what if he's forcing himself on the king?" Ignoring the woman's look of derision at his suspicion, he continued, "I saw him once. He didn't seem very friendly. He might be perfectly capable, okay? You know what the bards sang. Maybe the king doesn't know he's being manipulated and..."

"What a stupid thing to say," a third voice added to the conversation.

The servant and the gardener were startled and turned to the man who had just arrived. He was a short man with dark green hair and long fox ears sticking out of his head dressed in colorful clothes. They did not notice him because he had been picking some mushrooms behind a bush, which he now carried in his hand.

"Mr. Tighnari!," the gardener acknowledged instantly and his face turned red again. He glanced between the servant and Tighnari, and then continued as if to defend his theory: "Sir, dragons don't get together with humans except to do evil and the king was alone for years, wouldn't it be easy for a dragon to manipulate...? Did you just rolled your eyes?"

"That's only in the stories of Sumeru," said Tighnari. "And stories are just stories. You don't know him, you can't accuse someone without proof. Especially," his ears twitched and the young man looked back, "the personal guard chosen by His Majesty, don't you think?"

The servant and the gardener turned to look at the corridor where the ears were pointing, but there was no one else.

"Yes, don't be like that." The servant elbowed her companion. "Besides, I think they'd look cute together, don't you?"

"Huh?"

-

Kaveh hadn't meant to eavesdrop, it happened unintentionally that he heard himself mentioned and stayed to find out what they thought of them. Then he had been about to come out to defend Alhaitham when this Mr. Tighnari appeared and Kaveh left the way he came as soon as this one noticed his presence.

'Easy to manipulate.'

He knew people thought that about him, but it was different hearing it directly than hearing rumors.

It's not like he could change their opinion with a few words, and he wasn't so eager when it came to defending himself as opposed to defending Alhaitham.

They would think what they wanted to think.

It stung.

Chapter Text

Kaveh soon began to allow people to come and tell their problems to him. After hearing a few minor issues about land and trade, he realized that those did not seem like poor people's problems.

The general who had brought him back to the palace was listed as one of his personal guards and was usually around when he met with people, so he asked him.

"We were asked to screen the people coming, Your Majesty," General Cyno explained.

"Who decided that?"

"The head of the personal guard asked us to do so. He said it was for your safety."

The head of the personal guard and head of the central state chancellery. He almost never reported to him. He was supposed to be his second in command, but he was still after him and had never consulted him about anything of the sort.

He was sure if he asked him, he would excuse himself saying this was for his safety. Kaveh already had Alhaitham, there was no one more capable of protecting him than him.

It was like a joke.

Everyone took him as a joke.

General Cyno was still waiting for instructions. Kaveh had traveled with him and in that time found him serious and focused on his work. They did not talk much, but Kaveh saw him interacting with others. He cared about his people and, when they were tired and tense, he would let slip some joke that made the tension dissipate, leaving instead a mild discomfort —those jokes wouldn't be funny in the next century. Kaveh didn't know many other generals, so if he had to trust anyone...

"What do you think about a promotion?"

-

At first, very few people came, and the few who came seemed self-conscious about telling their problems to the king, as if they feared punishment for speaking out. Kaveh did his best to assure them that he only wanted to help them and after that more and more people began to arrive at the royal palace.

All the problems came down to the same thing: they didn't have enough mora to live on.

Kaveh looked at the ostentatious royal palace. Didn't they already have enough moras? So why were the people suffering from poverty, hunger, sickness? He began to give away mora to help with even a little more than words.

General Cyno commanded the investigation at his command. Every governor had the right to levy whatever amount of taxes he wanted and, without limits, many sought their own benefit by ignoring the people's sorrows, and even oppressed those who complained. All this only to later wonder why the people were unhappy with their government.

Kaveh was nowhere near poor even when he lived alone in the palace, but he had studied, read and subsequently seen in the village. People who worked from sun up to sun down for a living, and yet they couldn't even fix their roofs so they wouldn't get rained on. How could anyone take advantage of them?

Now that he had the mora, now that he had the power. He couldn't stand still and quiet knowing that there were people suffering, wasn't it his duty to help them?

-

"You don't look very well," Alhaitham commented after the last person of the day had left.

Alhaitham did not spend all his time by Kaveh's side, even as his personal guard, sometimes he would leave him with the other guards and go to the House of Daena, the palace library. Kaveh had expected it. He had given him the title because it was what Alhaitham already did, basically, but he could not and would not try to keep Alhaitham at his side —though he wanted to on occasion. Thus, Alhaitham was as free as he could be, within the walls of the royal palace.

Kaveh tried not to take it badly even as his chest was already tightening. He was tired. Meeting with so many people who did nothing but tell him problem after problem was too exhausting, his heart ached for each person. He felt guilty for wanting to relax when he knew others would suffer. And then his partner had to come and tell him he was ugly.

"I'm sorry I can't be the epitome of beauty like you," he growled, stretching out on his throne. As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt worse and couldn't even bring himself to take a glance at Alhaitham.

The dragon did not respond immediately, and Kaveh actually became concerned, turning to him quickly.

"I'm sor-"

"Let me correct myself," Alhaitham interrupted, and as soon as he said it, he was on him. He sent a hand towards Kaveh and he flinched as it brushed his face, going on to gather a lock of hair and tuck it behind his ear. His face burned where Alhaitham had touched. "You look amazing, if anyone is the epitome of beauty, it is you."

His heart thudded.

"Haitham..." His eyes wandered to the guards still in the room, but the dragon didn't give him much room to pay attention to them.

Alhaitham leaned against the throne, electricity coursing through his body as their hands brushed, and leaned toward him, taking up all of his visual space. He was close to his ear when he whispered:

"I could fuck you right now."

Kaveh's brain was already burned enough, that only finished frying it. His hands went to Alhaitham's chest. He was as firm as ever. He wanted to remove his clothes.

Alhaitham's eyes were already turning dark with desire.

Kaveh didn't even look away to speak.

"Leave us alone, please. Do not enter until I call for you."

The remaining guards did not question him and soon they were alone in the throne room. Finally, Kaveh pulled Alhaitham close and their lips pressed together. He opened his mouth to push his tongue against Alhaitham's lips, but did not allow him entrance immediately.

"You look tired," the dragon growled, not pulling away too far. He was already looking to spread Kaveh's legs, making him moan in anticipation.

"Take care of me then." Kaveh, for his part, made his way to the edge of Alhaitham's pants and pulled them down with the ease that comes with practice. His cocks came out already half hard, just at the thought of having him.

"You won't be able to do anything if you wear yourself out," his eyes were serious as he moved away to help Kaveh lay further back on the throne, the cushions easing the pain his aching back. They were seriously going to do it there and Kaveh was dying for Alhaitham to fill him up. "You should get more rest," he chided, but his hand was already stroking Kaveh's crotch over his pants and the prick of arousal took away the urge to complain.

"We won't talk about that now, okay?" He pushed his waist into Alhaitham's touch, letting himself be carried away by his warmth. "Just love me, that helps."

"And then you'll rest," Alhaitham left his crotch to remove his pants and Kaveh watched as he masturbated with one hand, grinding his cocks together. His mouth watered, how he wished he could have them both inside.

Seeing Alhaitham like this, his fingers flew to his entrance and he opened almost out of habit. Perhaps the strength of his desire for Alhaitham was making his body accept it.

Too many projects and meetings to come flashed through his mind with those words. Well, he would rest that day, so he wasn't lying when he nodded.

"Now fuck me," he begged, hoping the sight of his spread legs, his fingers moving in and out of his hole with lewd sounds and his red eyes would be enough to make him agree. If it wasn't... He added with a provocative smile: "That's an order."

Alhaitham's eyes widened and their color almost disappeared submerged in black. An animalistic growl escaped him and the edges of his lips lifted in surprise, causing Kaveh's insides to tighten as well.

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

Thus they kissed. Kaveh let himself be cared for by his love. The stress and headache melted into Alhaitham's warmth, and Kaveh thought it had to be like this. Alhaitham holding him and Kaveh clinging to him, their hearts beating in rhythm and their fingers intertwined. The world made sense like this, it stopped being just his and everyone else's suffering and became both of them, complementing each other and whispering their love to each other.

He wished he could stay there forever, melt into his beloved's embrace and forget everything else.

He wished it wasn't so hard.

-

Kaveh had forgotten how much the world was against giving him a break.

The next few days, Kaveh took it upon himself to pass the note about a new limit on taxes for each region of Sumeru —which he could do because he was the king—, and then face the multiple meetings with governors who came to beg him to change his decision —and meet each one with an explanation.

One of the governors was especially pushy, making up a thousand excuses, and not even Alhaitham's presence stopped him from loosening his tongue.

Kaveh was already beginning to get a headache, but he listened and responded with an attempt at patience to each of his objections.

"But, Your Majesty, if you don't..."

"His Majesty," Alhaitham interrupted at last, and rose to his full height with his arms folded. Everyone in the room turned to him at once, but he didn't even shrink back, his voice clear and imposing, "doesn't have to explain himself so much when you already understood."

Alhaitham's gaze turned to Kaveh and, immediately, all eyes were on him.

The air could have been cut with a knife and Kaveh felt the world stumble for the first time in the entire discussion. He would have taken it at any time, but had Alhaitham just interrupted an official discussion? He, who couldn't care less about such matters?

Even the governor, whose face twisted into a grimace, fell silent.

Kaveh didn't know how he managed to pull himself together enough to speak, a strained smile on his face.

"I think I've given you enough explanations for today. If you still have any doubts, come back another day."

Alhaitham, who people said controlled him.

The governor glared at Alhaitham, but gritted his teeth and replied:

"Yes, Your Majesty, thank you very much."

Then he left. Not because of him. Because of Alhaitham.

That night was their first real argument.

"You can't just butt in like that," Kaveh growled, annoyance building up after Alhaitham persistently asked him why he was angry. "You think I couldn't have kicked him out if I wanted to?"

"You were wasting your breath. He understood what you wanted to do, he just didn't like it."

"I can waste my breath on whatever I want! You made me look bad in front of everyone!"

Alhaitham frowned then, as if he couldn't bring himself to understand, and that annoyed him even more. Alhaitham didn't have to understand such things, but Kaveh did.

"That's ridiculous. If you're not going to stand up for yourself..."

"Ha, then it's my fault, isn't it?," he marveled. He marveled and his voice trembled, looking away from Alhaitham so he wouldn't see his pain. "All right. Right now I'll stand up for my space, you're going to sleep on the other side of the bed. Don't you dare touch me."

Deep down, perhaps he expected Alhaitham to refuse and apologize, to hug him to calm him down. Instead, the dragon snorted in disbelief.

"Good."

"Good!"

His heart ached, but he turned his back on the love of his life and swallowed his tears as he knew how to do because, for the first time since they met, Kaveh felt that Alhaitham didn't understand him.

-

The feeling only grew from then on.

Kaveh had long thought that their ideas complemented each other perfectly and so they were the same, now the realization that their ideas were diametrically opposed was beginning to press on him, and suddenly he didn't know what to do with that.

It would repeat itself over and over again.

Soon the nobles began to question him in pursuit of the governors. 'How will we maintain the government and the army without the taxes?' Underneath that, they just wanted to maintain their lifestyle.

So Kaveh would spend a long day draining every drop of energy he had for the sake of trying to change something in the world. When he would go to bed, expecting nothing more than a kiss and comfort from Alhaitham, the dragon would look at him disapprovingly and once again tell him something that would start an argument.

'You won't be able to please everyone.'

'This is doomed to failure.'

'How are you going to save others if you can't even help yourself?'

As if he didn't care about taking care of him anymore.

Like he just wanted to prove he was right.

As if he was waiting for his fall to kick him when he was down.

Kaveh felt sick.

-

Once, a desperate man came before the king. He said his wife was about to give birth, he had just been fired from his job and they had no family to help them. What were they going to do now, Your Generous Majesty?

Alhaitham was again looking at him as if expecting him to cut off his monologue, but Kaveh ignored him and then gave him a particularly generous amount of mora. He didn't even see Alhaitham's expression again when the man left with the mora.

"Why did you give him the mora?," Alhaitham questioned later, pressing his temple in exasperation. "It's clear he was lying."

Again.

"Impossible to believe, that what is clear to some is not so clear to others, is it?," Kaveh replied, and his stomach churned as he once again went on the defensive. "Who cares if he was lying or not? To come here lying to the king, he must need that mora a lot more than I do."

Alhaitham actually looked at him like he was stupid.

"Are you serious?"

"Maybe he was in debt or something."

"Maybe he was just a thief who doesn't care who he cheats for easy mora."

"Do you think someone becomes a thief because he wants to?"

"He's certainly old enough to get an honest job if he wanted to."

"So you think I'm an idiot for giving him the benefit of the doubt."

"Well, giving away mora to someone who's lying to you to make you do it and expecting them to change later isn't very smart of you."

Seeing that annoyance in Alhaitham's eyes directed at him, he wanted to disappear.

"Ask for another room to be arranged for you," Kaveh said slowly, trying hard not to let his voice tremble. "I doubt you want to sleep with an idiot."

Then a spark of pain flashed through the teal eyes. It disappeared so quickly that Kaveh couldn't be sure.

"As you wish."

But that was not what he wished for.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham would pop in here and there after that. They would talk as if they were not sleeping apart for the first time since the dragon had shown up in his room that night. However, the atmosphere between them was no longer the same. It only took for Alhaitham to frown slightly for tension to bubble up inside him, eating away at his thoughts.

"You look tired, Your Majesty," said one of the nobles once when Alhaitham was not around.

The last time Alhaitham said that to him on that throne crossed his mind and he couldn't help but growl.

"I'm just trying to help people, it doesn't matter how I look."

"I get it, I get it. I think I already know what you want to do and I fully support it, you know?"

Kaveh looked up with interest. Digging around in his mind, he managed to recall that the man's name was Azar.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course. What do we do if not serve the people?"

Right. He had no right to a life for himself, not there.

He pushed Alhaitham's burning heat, that tingle in his belly that craved for him, from his mind.

"I'm glad someone understands."

"Of course I do, what you do is very noble, Your Majesty," Azar said with a smile. "I'm sorry not everyone understands."

Kaveh snorted, his stomach contracting with another kind of feeling.

"Some people simply refuse to think of others. Those are the ones who make me tired."

Azar seemed to think about it before continuing to speak.

"Your Majesty, forgive me for asking, but I hear that dragon you took in at the palace isn't very much in favor of what you do."

Ah.

Kaveh didn't know what to say and Azar took it as the cue to keep talking.

"It's natural, dragons are selfish beings, they live their whole lives in solitude." He clicked his tongue in disapproval, and Kaveh still had the words stuck in his mind. "He's not a human, how could he understand about empathy?"

It didn't seem right, he had so much time with his grandmother and Alhaitham to prove him wrong, but every time he wanted to look for something to stand on and defend Alhaitham, it was dulled by the last few weeks. Was he wrong?

Suddenly, he couldn't remember Alhaitham's warmth. Nothing but those cold eyes.

"I just hope you don't let yourself be swayed by him. You are saving lives."

He was burning.

-

It's not like Kaveh didn't want to talk to Alhaitham. He wanted to. The nagging desire to want to feel him burned in his gut every time they were near. He wanted him to take him in him arms, to whisper to him that everything would be all right, to kiss him and let him sleep on his chest.

"This food is very impractical," Alhaitham complained with a grimace after sipping some of his soup.

"It's not that you don't like it, is it that it's impractical?," Kaveh scoffed with a light smile.

"I can't drink it while reading."

"You're not reading now, so you can drink it."

The softest of pouts appeared on Alhaitham's lips, but he continued to drink the soup anyway.

He was adorable.

Kaveh adored him.

But then, if he really asked and Alhaitham didn't accept him...

These little moments were better than nothing.

When they weren't arguing, they would sit together and see each other for a few minutes a day between Kaveh's breaks. They wouldn't touch, as if they had suddenly decided they couldn't do it in public. His body would tingle with longing for that touch, only for him to clench his fists and pretend he wasn't terrified to do something that a few weeks ago seemed as simple as breathing.

To pretend he didn't feel like the world was closing in around him, pulling him away from Alhaitham, because he was too afraid to ask for anything more. And it's just that they would surely find a way to stop it— Alhaitham would understand why he was struggling, support him, and everything would go back to normal, right?

Right?

-

After half an hour of back and forth, the governor continued:

"Your Majesty, you are being unreasonable."

And His Majesty really didn't want to hear another word.

"Hm?" He felt like a vein was going to burst. "Enlighten me then, great voice of reason."

He inwardly rejoiced at the surprise on the nobleman's face, though it did not take him long to recover, and anger tinged his face red.

"You can't take so many taxes from us, we use all this to protect the port. If we don't pay for the security, no one will want to..."

"Port Ormos has the highest taxes," Kaveh interrupted, shaking the report in his hand, "but not even half of those taxes go to the people,
whether it's on security or whatever you're going to tell me. Say, what are they collecting, who's taking it? You're just taking advantage of the people, don't think I don't know."

"Your Majesty, honestly, who is maintaining the government?" He had the nerve not to try to deny it or look embarrassed. "The king rules for the nobles and the people of power, that's how it's always been. How long do you think they'll support you if you keep this up?"

Kaveh's blood was boiling at that point.

He kept explaining over and over again because he was a good person and believed others wanted to be one too.

So why?

"I don't govern for unscrupulous bullies," he spat.

"Well." His face tightened into a smile that did not reach his eyes, which looked around the room as if he were speaking to all present: "As was to be expected from the son of a traitor."

The world sank.

All eyes were riveted on Kaveh, as if waiting for him to say something, give the order to shut him up, arrest him. Something. But Kaveh felt himself crushed against the throne and his ears were ringing deafeningly.

"May you have fun spending as now without the tributes paid by Port Ormos."

As if he were under water.

The governor turned and walked toward the exit. Some guards went to stop him by reflex. However, their glances on Kaveh made him shrink even more and he shook his head. To what? That his father was not a traitor, that he couldn't stop paying, that they couldn't let him go, that they needn't to stop him? The guards hesitated and the governor passed them, losing himself outside the room.

Kaveh sank back on the throne.

That he wanted none of this.

The throne was too big for him alone, and Alhaitham wasn't there to comfort him.

-

Kaveh refused to see anyone else for the day, just asked for Alhaitham to be called and locked himself in his room.

He was holding himself, but his arms were not enough.

'Please, please, just hold me, I beg you.'

Maybe then he could forgive him even if Alhaitham didn't agree with him.

It was so cold. The world was cold. He was doing the right thing, wasn't he? But no one cared about others, no one cared about him.

Maybe then he could cry and the weight on his chest would ease, if only for an instant.

A desperate attempt to hold on to someone. If he could, if Alhaitham still felt somewhere in him some appreciation for Kaveh...

Perhaps...

Alhaitham entered the room and didn't even get a glimpse of him before blurting out:

"Do you get it now, Kaveh?"

How stupid he was to get his hopes up.

Kaveh turned to face him, his hands falling to his sides, clenching into fists. Fingernails dug into his skin, reality settling on him with pain, and just like that, the cold was replaced by a searing fire.

"Tell me, come on, tell me." In a few steps, he was upon Alhaitham, pushing an accusing finger against his chest, and every word was tainted with venom. "Tell me, since you are so clever, what is it that I am to understand?"

Alhaitham's eyes widened in surprise, but Kaveh could no longer feel even a hint of amusement at that reaction. It was immediately replaced by annoyance.

"You want me to repeat what I've already told you a million times?" He held Kaveh's hand by the wrist. It wasn't forceful, just not gentle, and that was enough to pierce his chest. "Good, I'll say it again. You won't be able to please everyone."

He said it like he said everything: as a fact. As if he knew everything in the world. As if he was smarter than Kaveh. At last he was touching him, but Kaveh felt nothing but pain.

"You-! I can and I will! Do you think I'm going to sit quietly by and let everything go on as it is? I'm not you." He tugged at his hand to retrieve it. He wasn't feeling any better. Not when Alhaitham still seemed so unperturbed. "You're not helping anyone." 'You're not helping me.' He couldn't look at Alhaitham now. "I'll convince him somehow, and—"

Yes. He just had to convince everyone that this was the right thing to do. It seemed so impossible in that world. That wasn't a reason to stop trying.

Alhaitham snorted and held his chin, causing him to lift his face. Their eyes met again. Kaveh thought maybe...

"You keep wanting to help others when you can't even help yourself."

Suddenly, his face in the mirror in the morning came to him. The dark circles under his eyes, his face pale and sickly. Even his hair seemed to have lost its color. Of course Alhaitham wouldn't touch him like that. He was hideous.

Kaveh pulled away abruptly.

Alhaitham closed his hand.

"Mora isn't infinite, Kaveh. If you're going to help people this way, turning against governors and nobles, eventually you'll run out of Mora. So what then?"

So cold. Even Kaveh's fire couldn't reach him.

"I'm not turning against anyone."

He was stretching out his hand, desperation gnawing at him waiting for someone to take it.

"However, you are. People aren't forgiving either. Once you can't help them, they'll bite the hand that fed them. Keep it up and you'll be left with no one to support you."

Those words pierced him like a stab wound.

His eyes widened and he could no longer hold his gaze.

With no one.

"So you'll leave too?" His voice sounded lower, but he forced it up, even if he felt his body trembling and anger wasn't the only thing motivating him now. "Good! In that case, you can go now. You don't have to put up with someone doomed to fail any longer."

'Please don't give up on me.'

If he was going to destroy it, if Alhaitham was going to break his heart anyway...

"I don't..." Kaveh couldn't see it, but he heard it in his voice. For the first time, Alhaitham hesitated, and a part of Kaveh still wished he would shut up and hug him. "I can't see you walk towards self-destruction. Since we came here..."

But Alhaitham kept talking on and on, and Kaveh would keep answering again and again.

"You saw the people. I have to be here and I have to help them because I'm not a jerk who only cares about himself." He had to redeem himself somehow, because he was the one who pointed to the crown and said he wanted it. "My father gave me this kingdom to protect! I was always supposed to be here." He was always supposed to drown himself in all those stupid political affairs, because that's what was expected of him. A broken smile appeared on his face, and his eyes must have been full of madness as he spat in his face: "If you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself."

The teal eyes that met his then were inscrutable to him.

"Is that so?" Alhaitham's voice couldn't have been understood as anything but icy, indifferent. "You say you do everything for people when in reality you only feel guilty about what happened to your father."

Alhaitham didn't touch him, but he might as well have slapped him and it would have hurt less.

Kaveh cared about people.

He was working so hard because he cared about people.

He was good, he deserved a pat on the back, so why?

"You're not going to be able to go on like this forev-"

Kaveh pushed against Alhaitham's chest, causing him to take a step back, perhaps in surprise. He couldn't care less.

"Go away, go away!" Push. Alhaitham didn't move this time. "Liar!" Push. He didn't even have the strength. His whole body trembled and the tears he had been holding back for weeks pooled in his eyes.

Why did he feel like he was torn apart from the inside?

"Kaveh..."

He didn't want to hear it.

"You're as selfish as they said!" Push.

'You said you loved me.'

The words were lost in his throat.

"I wish—" His hands clenched into fists for the next push. "I wish you had never gone to the palace."

'I wish you hadn't caught me when I fell.'

The next shove sent Alhaitham reeling back and Kaveh nearly staggered forward as well, but he stayed on his feet as he held back tears.

He looked up expecting to meet resistance. Not exactly.

Alhaitham held his chest, the eyes he used to worship wide open. His expression betrayed him, the soft line of his lips open trembled as if he wanted to say something.

In that moment, Kaveh imagined he had hurt him even a little bit of what Alhaitham was tearing him apart and a small sense of triumph settled in his chest. Kaveh hated every second of it.

Then Alhaitham closed his hand over his chest.

"Good."

Just like that, he turned and walked out of the room.

It wasn't long after that that people began to gossip, curious about the steam that covered the dragon's figure leaving the royal palace.

Kaveh, who held on for so long, gave in to the trembling of his body and collapsed.

They were different, Alhaitham didn't understand him, and once again he was alone in the world.

Chapter Text

Kaveh had no idea how he got up the next few days. He got up, ate, worked as if Alhaitham hadn't left. As if people weren't gossiping behind his back more vehemently now.

Work was not comforting, but he found that in it he could drown and stifle his thoughts. When he worked, he would burn out looking for ways to help others, on ways to convince the nobles to support him and not the stupid governor of Port Ormos. Then he would feel useless and a voice that sounded strangely familiar, yet so different that it was impossible for him to put a name to it, would tell him that nothing he was doing would amount to anything. No, he wasn't thinking of Alhaitham.

It was later that week that they announced the arrival of the queen mother.

Kaveh, who had been in automatic mode for days, suddenly regained his body sensations and had to swallow the vomit, which in the end left a sour taste in his throat.

Not even the expectation of seeing her when he arrived at the royal palace affected him as much as it did at that moment ("at that moment, you had Alhaitham," whispered a malicious voice in his ear). The last time they had seen each other, she was seeing him off to abandon him in a palace on his own when he was barely past ten years old. And Kaveh simply hadn't been able to stand it. What had his mother been thinking when she left him then? Now perhaps he was beginning to really understand, but that didn't stop the anxiety from bubbling in his stomach as if it would devour him from the inside.

Kaveh asked to be left alone and rose from the throne to receive her.

His mother bowed as they all used to do.

"Kaveh," she greeted tentatively.

"Mother," Kaveh replied.

And they fell silent. The tension could be cut with a knife at that moment and what little air Kaveh could breathe became even more limited, so he tried to focus on anything so he wouldn't run away.

Ten years had passed and his mother was still a very beautiful woman. She wore her blonde hair neatly pulled back and her dress well groomed. Some gray was beginning to appear among her hair, but it was hardly noticeable among the light golden locks, and frown lines were drawn near her lips rather than on her brow, as if she had smiled a lot. The king couldn't help but feel small imagining his mother smiling. It seemed like a dream. She had smiled, she had been happy somewhere far away from him.

"I missed you," his mother said at last, taking a step closer.

'Then why did you leave me?'

"They didn't let me know you were back," she continued, and Kaveh couldn't help the twitch in his eye. "I only heard recently that Sumeru had crowned the heir to the throne. I came as soon as I heard."

So they'd invited his mother and she hadn't been able to come? What a good joke.

Kaveh smiled slightly. Relief that his mother had not missed the coronation of her own free will mixed with the bitter feeling of knowing he had been lied to. Over and over again. They were doing what they wanted, as if Kaveh wasn't there.

"Ha. Yes." And yet, the habits were hard to break even after years. Automatically, he started his 'I've got it all under control' act. "It was all so fast."

His mother was watching him, too. A nostalgic gleam passed through her eyes and, as if she couldn't contain it, she blurted out:

"You look just like your father."

Kaveh froze.

People had always compared him to his mother. When he was little, and even now, people had mentioned Faranak when complimenting him on his looks. Kaveh liked that, in a guilty sort of way. His feelings for his father were very hard to decipher since he passed away, and now that that thing his father had wanted for him was destroying his heart, he didn't know what to do with those words. His mother had suffered so much from his father's death, would it affect her that Kaveh took after him? Suddenly, he felt like covering himself.

"And now you are the king." His mother's gaze was on him, but it was as if she didn't see him. "Actually, I hoped this day would never come."

A thrust to the heart would have surprised him less.

That... he already suspected his mother had sent him away so he wouldn't become king. That didn't stop it from hurting. He had struggled for weeks to stay there, to help people, to do something with that power he was given without his wanting it. He had lost who may had been, no, who was the only love of his life to hold that position and do what he was doing. Then, his mother would come and tell him she wished he wasn't there.

As if everything he did didn't matter at all.

"Ah."

Was the air really running out or was it his lungs refusing to work?

"Surely you hate us now, your father and me." Her mother's voice was soft, expressionless, though the hand that held her coat over her began to tremble. "You survived on your own, no child should do that."

He wasn't alone, but he couldn't even say that.

"I don't know what your father thought to take the throne."

His heart stopped for a second.

"Huh?"

"In those days, we told each other everything, but he wouldn't tell me anything about the throne." His mother had always had that mystical air, and at that moment his world had taken her out of there. She was talking to him, while talking to no one in particular. "He had changed so much. He said he'd tell me everything when it was safe, but then..." Her lip trembled and Kaveh felt as if the world had swayed a little, "well. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if this was what he wanted for us."

Now? Now she wanted to question it?

Was that why she hadn't been invited? Because she would tell him she didn't want this for him? Because she would tell him that maybe his father had been wrong? That maybe his father had really murdered his brother to give him that position? That he was sitting on a bloodstained throne?

What was the use of finding that out now?

When he no longer had the will to leave.

When he no longer had where to go.

Alhaitham was gone, and his dreams of something more had vanished with his departure.

As if she had heard his thoughts, her mother echoed them:

"But you have nowhere to go now, have you? You're already king." There was a sadness in those eyes that reflected Kaveh's soul. "If this is what you want, I can't stand in your way. It only remains for me to ask that the Lesser Lord Kusanali protect you."

Kaveh could find no comfort in those words. Just like everyone else, Lesser Lord Kusanali had also abandoned him.

-

Faranak stayed a few more days, proving to Kaveh that when she wasn't speaking cryptically about the past and his position, she actually seemed happy to see him.

His mother had that smile that was a poor reflection of the one in Kaveh's memories, but it made him wonder if in fact his memories were wrong. She talked about her current husband as if he was the best thing that ever happened to her and she hugged Kaveh as if she loved him. No matter what, it didn't feel quite right.

As his mother departed back to Fontaine, the question assailed Kaveh.

If he couldn't be sure he remembered his mother well when he had her in front of him, oh, if Kaveh had even thought he understood Alhaitham, how could he say he even knew his father?

The crown rested on his head because he was his father's son.

First, he thought he would have to keep it for his father, because he had died because of him. When his aunt accused his father of being dishonest to take the throne, Kaveh didn't want to believe it. His father was a good man, he cared about others and had always loved his brother, how could he do such a thing? Yet, inside, he knew it was all too strange and there were too many coincidences for anyone intelligent to ignore.

Gods, even some servants would murmur when they thought no one was listening, questioning whether or not Kaveh deserved the throne for what his father might have done for it.

And then Faranak would tell him that his father had been planning something that he didn't even talk to her about just before he died.

Kaveh felt really sick when he had to sit on the throne.

Once upon a time, Alhaitham took him there, caring for him like gold, leaving soft kisses wherever he could reach. Kaveh managed to avoid thinking of him drowning in work, but now, the throne was stained with blood in his mind, and he could almost feel the heavy metallic smell under his nose, like the day he clung to his father begging him not to leave.

It was the worst loop, thinking of Alhaitham so he wouldn't think of blood and then thinking of his father bleeding out so he wouldn't think of Alhaitham. Or the vivid memory of his father falling to the ground with a hollow sound, the whisper he never heard sounding like an accusation, or the clarity of Alhaitham's face before he turned and left, the pain crossing his face at the words Kaveh spat with so much venom.

Now, thinking of his father, he realized he had no idea what he was supposed to do.

He didn't deserve that position, he knew, just as he never deserved anyone's love or attention.

So, he worked harder than anyone else to make up for it.

-

As if his efforts had begun to pay off, the governor of Port Ormos appeared before him one day. He knelt in front of the king, resting his head on the ground.

"Your Majesty, I sincerely apologize for my previous behavior. Whatever punishment you deem appropriate to accept my apology, I will take it."

Kaveh simply could not believe it, but he wanted to believe it.

"What made you change your mind?," he asked with some misgivings.

"Azar went to talk to me, Your Majesty, and made me see the error of my ways. I want to help you too."

He wanted to believe it, so he did. Azar had said he understood what he was doing, and although Kaveh's power of persuasion was not as strong, it seemed that Azar's was. The king thought that, perhaps, he still had an ally after all.

There was no way he would punish the governor after he apologized like this, offering the tributes at his disposal to support him in his projects for the people.

Alhaitham wasn't right after all.

Too bad that didn't stop the choking of missing him.

Chapter Text

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Azar frequented the palace and certainly spoke like he understood Kaveh, or cared about the people.

Kaveh wouldn't admit it, but he was desperate.

Azar also knew a lot more than he did about current politics, so why not? He just thought it made sense to make him his right-hand man.

The man seemed very efficient and had a lot of contacts. Kaveh ended up leaving some of the conversations with governors or nobles that took the longest to Azar and the issues were resolved as if by magic.

At last, Kaveh had a break. A break, on the other hand, meant more time to think. Kaveh didn't like to have time to think.

So, one day, wandering around the palace trying to distract himself, he discovered the greenhouse. He was curious when he saw that there were many beautiful flowering plants. He couldn't help it, hos mind wandered to the meadow where he used to go down with Alhaitham before traveling to the village, to how pretty Alhaitham looked with the wreaths of flowers Kaveh made for him or to his long hair full of petals after they lay down for a moment to kiss. His stomach started to twist again.

"Your Majesty?"

Kaveh turned instantly, covering the flowers with his body as if he had been caught doing something wrong. It was silly, of course, because no one could reprimand him for being wherever he wanted to be in the palace. At the door of the greenhouse stood a short man with greenish hair and fox ears, who bowed in a small curtsy as soon as he recognized him.

"Good morning," Kaveh greeted, and then excused himself, "I was just taking a stroll."

"Ah, yes, you can look at whatever you like," the young man nodded, moving from the doorway to set down the mushrooms he had picked on one of the tables.

Seeing that, Kaveh realized that he actually recognized him. Wasn't he the man who, that time a while back, rebuked the servants who were talking about his relationship with Alhaitham? Kaveh was sure that he didn't know that it was he who had been listening and yet he had defended him. Now that he was there in the king's capacity, the man didn't even bother to flatter him and went about his business. He couldn't help but want to know more about him.

"What's your name?," Kaveh asked, coming closer to look curiously at what he was doing. It looked like some kind of infusion.

The man did not flinch at his approach.

"Tighnari," he said simply. "Excuse me, I'm busy."

Kaveh didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He understood. Not long ago he had had something he loved so much that he couldn't leave for the world, or so he thought. It had been so long since he had sat down to just imagine a random design. It must have been the sudden feeling of emptiness that came over him that made him insist:

"May I help you?"

Only then did Tighnari look up.

"Have you ever done anything like this?," Tighnari asked doubtfully.

"Well, there was someone who taught me." He realized he wasn't empty when his chest tightened at the thought of his grandmother. "I lived alone, so sometimes I had to prepare medecines and stuff. Is that what you're doing now?"

"No." Tighnari smiled sideways. "It's an aphrodisiac."

Kaveh tried hard not to let his mouth drop, but his face was instantly warmed by the shorter man's cheek.

"Oh."

"If you want, you can take some later."

Now Tighnari was making fun of him.

As if he needed them. Even when he was with Alhaitham...

"I'll help you," Kaveh insisted in a poor attempt to stop his thoughts.

So, Tighnari gave him some instructions and they started preparing the infusion together. And it worked. Tighnari was good company. After a while, they were talking about Tighnari's life before he came to the palace and how he got there (basically, he was invited because he was very good at his job and thought that, in the palace, he would have access to more interesting plants). Tighnari was as direct as one could be with the king, but he was also not overbearing to ask about what Kaveh didn't want to tell, and that ended up making Kaveh relax by his side.

They were just finishing that stage when Tighnari looked up in the direction of the entrance, and soon a short man Kaveh recognized entered the room. General Cyno bowed as soon as he saw Kaveh.

"Good afternoon, Your Majesty." The surprise was barely distinguishable on his expressionless face and his gaze soon focused on Tighnari, as if they were having a secret chat.

Kaveh glanced between the two as soon as they began exchanging glances. He couldn't decipher exactly what was going on, but it had to be about him. And after that, he himself wasn't too surprised when Cyno went to sit on the edge of Tighnari's chair.

"His Majesty was helping me make the aphrodisiacs we were going to try," the fox explained out loud.

Kaveh couldn't help but get nervous then, suddenly worried that the general would misunderstand something, and it didn't help that Cyno was staring at him with those piercing eyes.

"Hmm, who knew you'd get along so well?," he commented at last. "It's almost like there's chemistry in the air."

Tighnari: ...

Kaveh saw Tighnari's face fall and hastened to clarify:

"No, no, it's nothing like that. We were just talking as..." He was about to say 'friends', but changed his words at the last moment, "we were just talking."

"Your Majesty, don't mind him..."

"No, Your Majesty, it's a joke," Cyno explained, ignoring his partner's withering look.

Kaveh blinked in confusion, which must have looked like an invitation for Cyno to follow.

"It seemed to me that they you were getting along well. That is, that you had chemistry as friends. At the same time, you were making an infusion. Chemistry, you know?"

Kaveh: ...

He finally understood the reason behind Tighnari's face. Oh, he couldn't help but think that Alhaitham would love that kind of stupid pun.

"As I was saying, Your Majesty..." Tighnari continued as if he hadn't heard anything. "This specific mushroom grows on..."

"Huh? Tighnari? Didn't you like it?" Cyno continued as Tighnari explained, gently poking his side as if to get his attention, but his partner ignored him. "Nari~"

That scene was so silly and familiar that Kaveh couldn't help but smile softly.

They continued talking for a while longer, and then both of them offered to accompany him to the dining room, though it was no longer Cyno's turn. Kaveh invited them to eat with him, since there was always too much food for one person anyway. He only had to insist a little to get them to accept, and Kaveh wanted to believe it wasn't just because he was the king.

He felt comfortable, for the first time since Alhaitham left, and even if he still thought it would be a lot more fun if Alhaitham had been there, he could put it out of his mind for a moment. Maybe, just maybe, he could get over Alhaitham and settle for something like that.

His world at last seemed to be recovering.

-

The next few months went on without much trouble. He had started a project to ensure public health and open the Akademiya to anyone who wanted to study, so work distracted the king from thinking about anything.

There was no sign of his dragon, so it was almost tolerable to pretend he had never had him to begin with. The dragon had been wrong, the dragon had abandoned him, why should he have to think about him, why should he have to dream of him coming back and apologizing?

Things were okay, so he should be okay.

It was then that Cyno came to him, his face serious as he bowed in front of the throne.

"Your Majesty, there is evidence that the governor of Port Ormos is collecting more taxes than he set."

He should have known there was no room to be 'okay' in his life.

"We arrested the governor," Cyno continued, "he is awaiting your decision."

"No, but, he apologized," the king felt nauseous.

Had he deceived him? Again and again, as if his kindness was nothing or his forgiveness didn't mean a thing.

He couldn't do this alone.

"Azar said it was fine. Where is Azar?"

It was funny, how Azar happened to choose that moment to disappear. According to the guards at the main gate, he left a little while after General Cyno returned. Funny how he didn't come back. Even funnier how they soon discovered that all the governors who had been 'convinced' by Azar closed their cities to the royal palace, so the only way in now would be by force.

It was so funny, how suddenly the most important cities refused to pay tribute to the palace and the king no longer had mora to provide for the people.

The king, sitting on the almighty throne, listened to the royal treasurer's report and couldn't help but laugh. Hysterically, nervously. His body shook with each laugh, as if he were crying, but there were no tears in his eyes. He dug his nails into his hands and blood trickled down his fingers.

"Yes." The king leaned forward, a side-to-side smile on his lips. "That's more like my life."

-

Even when Kaveh wanted to cry and scream, he refused to give up. He needed the mora to finish the current projects and then... he didn't want to think about it.

The easiest way would be to claim the money multiplied in the cities that still paid, but he couldn't do that. He had reports that the taken cities are already giving him credit for abusive tax increases, only to, now that they weren't paying, lower them by saying they refused to follow a king who didn't consider the people. Dissenting voices were rising every day. If he took that path, wouldn't he be doing just what they wanted?

No, he needed to get the mora on his own.

"This is unusual, Your Majesty," the magnate pointed out, looking at him over her glasses. "If you wanted to, you could take my mora without questions, and you still want me to 'lend' it to you?"

"I'm not going to take something that's not mine," the king repeated, his firm voice still with a hint of weariness in it. "I will give it back to you. In property and in mora."

As king he had many properties, but Kaveh only had the ones his parents left him, and he was willing to give them all up for this.

The little woman looked surprised for a moment longer. Then she nodded with a big smile.

"It shall be as Your Majesty wishes," she hummed.

That night, Kaveh took Cyno and escaped from the palace.

The road to his former home was not very long. In less than an hour, they saw the manor house appear through the trees. The once warm and lively place was now neglected and cold. Every sound echoed loudly in the house, the emptiness crushing, as if reflecting Kaveh himself.

The places where he used to sit with his parents were still there —where his mother read books to him, where his father sometimes taught him how to use the bow and the sword—, but there was no feeling there anymore.

This was not his home, he knew. It had long since ceased to be.

And now he would give up those few memories out of guilt.

He sat down at the table they used to share, just this last time, and closed his eyes.

"Father, what did you want from me?," he asked the room, where only silence would answer. "If this is the right thing to do... why do I feel so empty?"

There was no response.

Just like his father, even the gods had abandoned him.

-

The project was better than the king expected. He put all his mind to it and, within a year, the Akademiya was ready to receive more students, while they had agreed with the doctors of the Amurta Darshan that they would receive a payment for each patient publicly treated. With the king's private investment, it would not be difficult to continue alone with the mora the kingdom was receiving.

One would think that the people would stop rising up in protest, or that they would believe in the king's willingness to improve. At least that's what Kaveh innocently hoped, and the world was delighted to prove to him that nothing would go his way.

-

The project had recently ended and the king suddenly felt empty. He had forgotten his passion, he had left the one he loved and now that the project he did for the people was complete, he still couldn't get anyone's understanding. The crown was getting heavier and heavier and his head was held only by habit.

It was in that context that Cyno came to report:

"Your Majesty, it seems that the taken cities are organizing their armies."

Kaveh looked at him expressionlessly.

"We let them be by your orders."

True enough. Kaveh didn't want to see blood spilled by a few mora, so he let them do what they wanted. And yet that's how they repaid him.

"However, if they're going to attack us, it's best to catch them off guard and go before they're ready."

Kaveh wasn't afraid to confront with words, but asking others to lay down their lives for him?

Ah. He couldn't do this, after all.

"Let them be." Kaveh let himself lean against the back of the throne. "Just let them be."

If they wanted his head, there it was for the taking.

-

The next morning, when Kaveh thought about what he would have to do for the day, he couldn't move.

He wanted to ask for help to get up, but that would mean moving, sitting on the throne and pretending he wasn't about to start a civil war by his presence alone. No. By his own selfishness in refusing to allow corruption in exchange for support. He wanted to go. He wanted to help the people. The people still needed him. So why wasn't his voice coming out? He should shout.

Someone soon came for him and Kaveh could only look at them.

At that moment, the royal doctor was called. There was nothing wrong with him. His body was in perfect condition. It just... didn't work anymore. Stupid, useless body. Just like its owner.

As if it had given up for him.

It was dangerous. No one had to know. So, they only allowed in the room General Cyno and Tighnari, who appeared as another physician to give a second opinion.

"Your Majesty, this is mental exhaustion," Tighnari declared, his gaze full of concern. "You should rest."

"He can't rest in the royal palace," Cyno thought aloud. "Perhaps he should leave the palace?"

Get out of the royal palace. It was impossible to ignore how his body felt light at the very possibility.

"I'm going home," and the words came out from his lips as clear as day.

Kaveh realized then. He, too, had given up.

Chapter Text

Kaveh felt the tightness in his chest disappear as soon as he passed the palace walls. It was funny how, after so many years locked in there wondering when he was going to get out, just getting back in made him able to move his body again.

The palace was just as he remembered it, at least in appearance. That was natural, it hadn't been long. The only difference had to be that it wasn't cared for in exactly the way he cared for it, but he couldn't be too picky about the servants who had been left there when he hadn't even had time to give them instructions.

Then he began to walk through the corridors of the palace and found that the oppression was not quite gone. It was there, making his stomach churn every time he crossed a corridor and a memory of a caress, a whisper, the gentle warmth of the man who used to love him assailed him.

Once, when it had been the two of them, Alhaitham took him as if he wanted to have him in every corner of the palace. If even with a kiss, with a whisper, with an embrace. Kaveh had been for Alhaitham.

No, Kaveh was still for Alhaitham.

To go back there was to uncover all that he had pretended to forget.

And now he knew.

Alhaitham was right.

Kaveh had driven Alhaitham away because he was telling the truth.

He was just an impractical idealist.

He thought people would understand him if he spoke the truth and sought the common good, only for them to bide their time to stab him in the back.

He thought he sought the common good for the people, only for his motivation to break down once he discovered that his father might have hurt his own brother for the crown.

He thought he might deserve love, if not Alhaitham's, at least that of his people, and he had lost them both.

Each time, all he did was lose, lose, and lose.

What was the point?

Why not just sit back and wait to lose his head?

-

Kaveh had not thought about death for years. Or, rather, he had thought about death here and there, but not as something he actively sought. And his one attempt... it was pathetic, he thought. He hadn't even dared to do it himself, approaching someone else with his head down, hoping they'd end it all for him. Now that death was really over his head, over those of people who believed in him, it was too real to ignore.

Sit and wait.

Was he going to leave his life and death in the hands of others again?

The same way he'd let them drag him into the palace, the same way he'd let them drag him back out without questions, the same way he'd let them come between him and the one person who had tried to stop him from seeking his own destruction.

If he was going to die anyway....

He would take the rest of his life into his own hands and he would decide what his end would be like.

-

As it turned out, it was hard to take his life in his hands when he was still the king and when he didn't really feel like doing anything.

After dwelling on it over in his mind, he inevitably remembered Alhaitham.

Alhaitham was out of the question, of course. He didn't know where he was, and even if Alhaitham wanted to talk to him again, he had no idea how to tell him that he regretted pushing him away. He had wished they had never met, while at the same time he wished for death rather than lose someone he loved again. He didn't know if Alhaitham would understand. No. He'd rather Alhaitham didn't understand.

He was going to die anyway.

What was the point of dragging Alhaitham with him if he was only going to live a little longer?

However, going over his memories, his first kiss came to mind. At that moment, Kaveh had been drinking beer and suddenly it simply made sense what he wanted to do. As if his mind had wandered for a moment away from all the problems their relationship might bring him, he had taken the first step.

It made sense to him, then, that if he drank again, he would suddenly have a revelation of what it was he wanted to do.

Sitting in the empty palace and drinking on his own was not an option.

Cyno had accompanied him to the palace to look after him, but even so, Kaveh couldn't put up with the general's jokes for long before he was overcome with the urge to tear his hair out.

So he convinced Cyno to take him out of the palace to go drinking at a tavern in town.

He sat down and drank as if there was no tomorrow.

Maybe there wasn't.

But there was.

There were many mornings with hangovers, there were many afternoons breathing nostalgia and guilt, there were many nights in the tavern.

And, no matter how much he kept drinking, there was no answer at the bottom of the glass.

Kaveh looked in the mirror one day.

Perhaps if he still felt something, he would be surprised.

There was nothing in his eyes.

His heart was only beating out of habit.

After all, there was no point in searching any longer.

This was his life, but he no longer had the will to live it.

It was like a whisper in his ear.

'It's time to go.'

-

That night was like his last breath.

Kaveh had already drank a glass when he stood in the middle of the tavern, raising his glass high and spilling some in his hand.

"Today we drink until we pass out!" He announced to everyone present, "I'm paying!"

The drunks raised their glasses in response, cheering him on.

It was funny, Kaveh thought, how he could curry favor with strangers by buying them drinks.

But not love. Never love.

"Kaveh," Cyno whispered as he sat down again. Outside of working hours, he allowed himself to call him by name, though Kaveh would have liked it to be always. It made him remember for a moment that he was someone other than the king. "Are you allright? Why all of a sudden? To attract attention like that..."

"It's fine, it's fine." Kaveh smiled and it felt like a genuine smile, at least for a moment. "No one's going to pay attention to me if they're all drunk."

Cyno didn't look very convinced, but when Tighnari wasn't around, he always ended up accepting that Kaveh could do whatever he wanted.

Tighnari... Kaveh was a little disappointed that he hadn't agreed to come this last time. It was fine anyway. His life was nothing but disappointments and Tighnari didn't know that this was the last time. He couldn't blame him.

"Thank you very much, kid!"

"Are you sure you'll pay? I can still drink a lot..."

"Oh, someone so distingue... distuingui... that, won't you spend the night with me, beauty?"

People talked and talked.

Kaveh smiled and replied.

After that, there was always silence.

The emptiness.

Kaveh stayed until there was nothing left but a few half-asleep drunks. Despite everything he drank and the hour, he still wasn't sleepy. He lay on the table, hiding his face in his arms. Once he left, he would not return. Not there, not anywhere.

Maybe he felt something. He didn't know what it was.

The sound of clothes sliding against his ears was clear as he began to raise his head. Then the chair in front of him shifted with a tap on the floor, someone sat down, and Kaveh's tired eyes focused on the newcomer.

He was just as Kaveh remembered him. Broad shoulders, thick firm arms, a marked torso that outlined his waist. Gray hair that covered half his face, while his teal eye was fixed on him as if he wanted to know everything about him. No, as if he already knew.

Kaveh's eyes widened and he wondered, for a short moment, if he was dreaming. He had fallen asleep without realizing it and this was some kind of punishment from his mind.

The next moment, there was a purple flash followed by a green one and the sound of clashing metals. Kaveh almost fell backwards in the chair. The general's spear was stopped in mid-air by the dragon's claws.

Alhaitham's eyes left his to meet Cyno's and the moment froze there, as if both were trying to find the most effective way to finish each other off.

And Kaveh froze as well.

It was surreal. Alhaitham was there, in front of him. Just as he was about to give it all up, a mockery of what he might have had if not for himself. If it weren't for the overwhelming desire to destroy everything he held dear.

"What are you doing here?" Cyno questioned at last, without moving the spear away.

And Alhaitham's gaze returned to Kaveh.

It was as if it clicked.

"Leave him."

"But..."

"Leave us alone."

Kaveh didn't even bother to look away from Alhaitham.

Cyno only hesitated a moment longer before retracting his spear and Alhaitham's claws returned to normal as well when Cyno turned to go back to some far corner of the tavern.

And they looked at each other.

Alhaitham still had that inscrutable look, his face cold and serene as if he didn't have a care in the world. If he were Kaveh from before, he would have understood what he was feeling with the barest hints. Or so he would think. He hadn't understood enough for him not to leave, how could he be sure?

His face, on the other hand, must have been a poem.

The silence was cut short with a sigh from Alhaitham and then his question.

"How are you?"

Kaveh had a script for questions like that. 'Very well, thank you' or even something like 'Delighted at your presence'. He couldn't use any of that with Alhaitham. No, he didn't want to.

The breath escaped him in one more sigh.

"I'm tired."

As if he'd never had trouble doing so, Kaveh told a thing or two, but then the words kept coming out. Everything from when Alhaitham left, how he tried to help people, how they turned against him, how they reached out a hand to him only for him to discover that it actually held a knife, how he gave his last effort to better the kingdom, and how even after all he had done, they would get rid of him. And Alhaitham, who had never bothered to give more than a glance to anyone he didn't care for, stood by his side and listened.

With every word, there was that crushing despair tearing his heart to shreds.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, he felt.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, he wanted to cry.

For the first time in what seemed like forever, he asked for help.

The time to return to the palace came and Alhaitham let Kaveh lean on him to walk to where they hid the horses. His body was warm, so comfortable and familiar, like the home you return to after a long time away. Alhaitham listened, Alhaitham held him.

It wasn't until Kaveh was speechless that Alhaitham spoke, his words sticking in him like sharp arrows.

"How has realizing your ideals gone for you?"

The tears he had been holding back all night poured out like a downpour.

If it had been someone else asking him that question in that calm, deadpan voice...

How had he fared?

He had wanted to die.

Alhaitham was right.

And yet, in Alhaitham's embrace, with his shoulders shuddering with every contraction his tears caused, as he felt the disillusionment drowning him like waves, he thought that, perhaps, he still didn't want to let go.

-

"I'm still alive" was Kaveh's first thought when he opened his eyes the next morning.

For a second, he considered that he might be dead and that going back to his room was some kind of punishment. As if even in death he would still be locked up.

The thought soon evaporated.

If he were dead, his head wouldn't be throbbing as if it were going to split and his eyes wouldn't be puffy and tired as if he had cried all night.

If he thought about it, he had a feeling that he had met someone the night before. It must have been something to do with that, for even the disappointment of waking up for another day wasn't as strong now.

So he got up and went to get something to eat.

The last thing he would have expected was that, setting foot in the dining room, he would find that the chair at the head of the table was already occupied.

There he was, the source of his nightmares, reading so quietly. As soon as he saw Kaveh with his mouth open, he closed the book to look at him and, as if by reflex, Kaveh closed his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" asked the king, incredulous.

"This is my palace," answered the dragon without blinking.

Kaveh hurried to look around, just to make sure he was really in the palace, but everything was the same.

"What do you mean it's your palace?"

Alhaitham leaned forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand to look at him, his expression inscrutable.

"I explained it to you last night."

Oh. The memories suddenly began to come to him. How he had vented all his troubles to Alhaitham, how he cried like a baby in his arms, how Alhaitham helped him by bringing him on the horse, how they had to stop for Kaveh to throw up... Yes, that last one he didn't even want to think about.

"But since I'm in the mood to repeat myself today," Alhaitham continued as Kaveh's face changed, "I'll tell you again. In exchange for taking care of you, this palace would belong to my grandmother. I know a bit more about human law now, so I'm pretty sure that, being the only descendant, this palace is mine now."

His tone was as disinterested as if he were reading from a script and not declaring ownership of the building where the king had been living for weeks. Kaveh's face must have been funny, because Alhaitham smiled.

"Don't worry, Your Majesty. There's room enough for both of us. Be my guest."

Oh, how the tables turn.

-

Alhaitham sat behind the desk with his legs crossed. From there, he turned the pages of his book leisurely, humming a random tune. Every now and then, he would look up as if to check the time on the desk clock.

At some point, a muffled knocking came from the other side of the door.

"Alhaitham, are you there? It's me!"

Alhaitham didn't bother to look up to answer:

"Come in."

Through the door came a tall woman with long dark hair, dressed in a cross bra and short shorts adorned with various details that Alhaitham couldn't care less about. Her attitude was very casual and confident.

"I haven't eaten anything yet, don't you have something to snack on?," she asked, looking around.

Alhaitham put the book down then, frowning slightly, as if he resented the interruption, but couldn't help it.

"I'll have something prepared for you. What happened?"

The woman seemed satisfied with that answer, so she continued:

"The desert side is almost ready, it only remains for us to find Raham and convince him. After that, we will wait for what happens on this side."

That seemed to interest Alhaitham more. His frown disappeared. The woman couldn't tell, for the dragon was very hard to read, but her instinct told her he was satisfied.

"Good." He drummed his fingers gently on the cover of the book. "He has no reason to refuse. After all, it suits him too. With his help, we'll finish off the king."

Chapter Text

Soon, Kaveh began to believe that Alhaitham hated him.

Without thinking about it too much, he could name a few points that proved that idea as well.

Alhaitham would leave his things scattered everywhere he went. Mountains of books began to appear out of place. They were off the shelves in the library, in the dining room, in the shared space, along the shelves in the hallways. And he specifically asked the servants not to touch them, increasing Kaveh's nerves.

No matter how big the palace was, Alhaitham always appeared near where Kaveh was, as if to show off his well-defined body and god-marked face to the poor mortal.

He always had some scathing comment on Kaveh doing this or that. About whether he drank too much or had too much time on his hands (as if he himself wasn't in the same situation).

What's better, in one of the clashes that started over it, Kaveh accused:

"You want to pretend only now that you care about Grandmother's palace! The servants have been here since we left and you never came! You do it to annoy me, don't you?"

Alhaitham looked at him with those inscrutable eyes.

"Isn't it the same with you?"

And Kaveh froze, unable to say anything. No, even if he wanted to mention work, it would only sound like an excuse. Then Alhaitham turned to the window.

"This is a good time of year."

Yes. Kaveh thought Alhaitham hated him but, like the good cornered animal he felt he was, he always made sure to bite back. Alhaitham most likely thought the same thing and the idea seemed amusing to Kaveh.

A Kaveh who hated Alhaitham.

As if such a thing could happen.

Curiously, getting angry at Alhaitham occupied his entire mind.

Curiously, he began to wait for that moment where they would collide.

Curiously, loneliness drifted away like a bubble into the sky.

-

For Kaveh, it was as if Alhaitham was itching to get inside him, and not in the hot way. The annoying dragon had told the servants not to touch his things, something about him having his own organization or so, so soon books, papers and miscellaneous objects began to appear scattered about. Some of those objects went against aesthetics and beauty in general, like some stupid abstract statuette of a squid or some vase that looked like it was thrown up on. And the servants obeyed, of course, because no one wanted to mess with the 'scary' dragon. Then it was Kaveh's turn to complain to Alhaitham only to have him dismiss his annoyance by excusing himself that this was his palace.

As if Kaveh hadn't lived there much longer than he had. As if he didn't deserve the palace as much as he did, being that he was also Azita's grandson (he didn't deserve it). As if that hadn't been his (their) home at some point.

By the time his thoughts got to that turn, Kaveh would feel like an idiot for remembering it and end the conversation with 'the next horror to the eye you bring I'll throw it away' and then slink off to pretend he could forget Alhaitham. After that, the blissful ornament would disappear, but when another one came along that was just as horrible or worse, Kaveh would never throw it away. It started all over again.

It was exhausting somehow, looking at Alhaitham and wondering 'what the hell did I like about him?' only to have his mind play back to him, like a movie, how good he was in bed, how he looked when that serenity on his face had broken and blush covered his cheeks. Or even worse, all the nice gestures Alhaitham had had with him. Then he had to avert his gaze because he didn't want to see that boredom in Alhaitham's eyes when he turned to look at him, or that annoyance that made Kaveh's guts twist.

The point is, even though he tried to disguise it, he couldn't take so many emotions without a drink.

One night when he couldn't fall asleep and kept thinking how easy it would have been for him to sleep in Alhaitham's arms, he sneaked out of his room to fetch that bottle he had hidden for times of crisis.

He had not finished pouring himself a glass when he heard a deep voice behind him.

"Drinking so late?"

Kaveh almost spilled the beer out of the glass when he turned back with a jump.

It was Alhaitham.

"Don't show up like that!," he scolded him, feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. "Gods, what do you care what time I drink?"

He had forgotten how quiet Alhaitham could be. After the first few scares, Kaveh asked him to make noise when he approached him. Apparently, he no longer remembered. Or he was doing it on purpose to annoy him. The very idea already made him defensive and he glared at the dragon.

Alhaitham ignored the glare and searched through the kitchen shelves.

"The other day you were drinking too."

The other day. When he had decided to die.

Kaveh said nothing. He finished pouring himself the beer and took a swig.

In a moment, Alhaitham was back with a glass and took the bottle from him. Kaveh watched as he poured himself with a frown.

"That's mine."

There was nothing they shared these days, but Alhaitham ignored him, finished pouring and then sat down next to Kaveh.

"You don't look well."

Kaveh hated how his heart flipped for a moment, because this idiot could read him like the back of his hand. The same way he knew Kaveh loved him back then, that he wasn't going to turn him down. It was only enough for Alhaitham to brush against him for his heart to leap like crazy and Alhaitham heard it.

He didn't love Alhaitham now, thankfully.

He had gotten over it like any normal person would after more than a year of not seeing each other.

It just got on his nerves.

If only he could read Alhaitham as easily as he could before.

"I'm not going to talk about it with you," Kaveh said, looking away.

So they drank in silence, for though Kaveh had blurted out all that day in the tavern, when he thought about doing it now, his throat closed up and he felt he wouldn't care. And that Alhaitham had listened to him so attentively. As if he cared.

He had saved his life, somehow, and now Kaveh was acting like a jerk around him.

But Alhaitham was acting like a jerk too, so he was justified, right?

He couldn't shake the fist squeezing his heart.

"How much longer will you stay here?," Alhaitham interrupted his thoughts.

Kaveh raised his eyebrows.

"Now you're going to throw me out?"

Alhaitham frowned.

"I didn't say that."

Kaveh tightened his grip on his glass.

"That's what it sounds like."

Alhaitham looked away.

"You still want to go back to the royal palace?"

Well, that sounded different.

It was a question even Kaveh himself had never asked.

Until recently, the answer would have been 'never'. However, since he suddenly had no desire to die, it meant he had to face the question at some point.

Even if he didn't want to die, there were still people who wanted him dead.

No, it would have been easier to die after all.

"You drink too fast."

Kaveh put the glass down after drinking all of its contents at once. He already felt less nervous. Maybe it was psychological.

"I'll drink however I want," he grumbled, and on impulse stuck out his tongue.

Alhaitham stared at him and Kaveh closed his mouth. He poured himself another glass and took a sip under Alhaitham's watchful eye. Kaveh couldn't help but frown. How much was he drinking, was he really drinking that badly? He lowered the glass and, in one motion, Alhaitham stole it from him.

"Hey!"

He didn't go so far as to try to take the glass from him that Alhaitham drank it all in one gulp. There was a hint of amusement in Alhaitham's eyes when he saw Kaveh's face and licked his lips.

"Yes, this one tastes better."

Kaveh: ...

"It's from the same bottle?!"

So, somehow, they ended up drinking the whole bottle in the wee hours of the morning. It was already late when they went back to their rooms, walking side by side, and Kaveh felt a little dizzy, but complained anyway:

"You drank a lot more than I did, it was my bottle."

His shoulders rubbed against Alhaitham's from time to time. Only then Kaveh straightened up, at least for a few more steps.

"Mhm, take it as payment for letting you stay."

Kaveh couldn't read his tone. Something churned in his stomach and made his cheeks flare.

"I get it! I'll pay you, I'll pay you, so stop saying it like that!"

He didn't realize he raised his voice until he had already spoken. He covered his mouth at once, but luckily there was no one else in that part of the palace to complain except the dragon, who shrank back a little.

"I'm sorry," Kaveh muttered. "But I will."

There was a pause.

"Whatever you say."

So Alhaitham casually skipped his room to walk Kaveh to his door and then Kaveh felt somewhat empty when he had to lie down alone again. That is until he realized that, if he tried very hard, his blouse had a certain smell of Alhaitham. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

-

There was something very difficult about admitting that the person you'd been missing for months is different from what you remembered and suddenly has an incredible facility for getting on your nerves.

Kaveh wanted to believe that he wasn't such a masochist that he was still hooked on someone who treated him badly.

That would be the case if only Alhaitham was just as cold and annoying all the time.

One day, he showed up at the library with drawing sheets and materials.

"What's that for?" Curiosity got the better of him.

"I was thinking of going over Grandmother's designs, but I wouldn't understand much right now," he explained, arranging things on a table near Kaveh. "I'm going to study some architecture first."

Teal eyes fixed on his as if waiting for him to say something.

Kaveh thought about offering himself to help him, but Alhaitham hadn't asked him in the first place. If they weren't on terms of asking each other for help with things related to the person they had in common, he shouldn't be the one to stand up and offer.

"I see." And he went back to his business.

After a while, Kaveh took a quick glance at what Alhaitham was drawing and had to look again, horrified.

He thought that was supposed to be a house. It was supposed to be, because it was nothing more than the most basic drawing possible, a square with a triangle roof and a few more geometric details. No, the worst thing was that the lines were all crooked, as if he had the pulse of the most anxious person in Teyvat about to take a final exam at the Akademiya.

It couldn't be true.

"Did you hit your hand with a hammer or something?," Kaveh interrupted.

Alhaitham looked up and rested his chin on his hand lazily.

"What do you mean? I'm being very serious."

Kaveh laughed to keep from crying.

"Not even a child... Gods, if Grandmother could see that..."

He bit his lip at Alhaitham's poker face and only considered it for a second before sitting down next to him.

"First, use a ruler."

He told himself it was for Grandmother's sake, that he wouldn't want to see his blood grandson fail so miserably at something she loved so much when, Kaveh felt, Alhaitham was trying so hard. Afterwards, he guided Alhaitham on a few tips on how not to be a walking bloody mess and Alhaitham didn't question it once. It made him think back to the days when he was trying to seduce him and he ended up teaching him how to use the sword. Alhaitham also took him very seriously around those times. Now, most of the time Kaveh felt like he was making fun of him.

"Try again," said Kaveh after his long explanation.

Alhaitham started a new drawing. It didn't take more than a few seconds for Kaveh to stop him again.

"Were you even listening to me?"

Alhaitham looked up from where he was hunched over to draw, and Kaveh could play there was a devilish gleam in his eye when he said in his flat, monotone:

"Professor Kaveh, I'm trying my best."

Yes, he was teasing him after all.

"Alhaitham, if you don't draw for real right now..."

For the next drawing, he applied what Kaveh told him seriously and it wasn't bad at all, at least for a beginner.

"Look, you can draw!," Kaveh smiled happily.

Paying attention to details as he was, he didn't notice that Alhaitham was looking at him with sparkling eyes.

"Mhm, I have a good professor."

Kaveh: ...

His heart didn't skip. Not a bit.

Kaveh taught him for a while longer.

It had been so long since he had done anything related to architecture. He thought he wouldn't have a chance anymore and, for a few minutes, he also thought he would have forgotten all about it. This was not the case. All the knowledge and passion were there as if he hadn't designed for more than a day. Besides, it was a thousand times easier when he was guiding someone else, as opposed to trying to design something on his own.

For a moment, he thought they could relate like this. Maybe Alhaitham was starting to like architecture and they could debate about it. Or rather, Kaveh might be appalled by Alhaitham's terrible taste because there was no way that, with such a bad sense of aesthetics, he could manage to design something that would excite Kaveh. He would surely make the flattest buildings possible, so that they would only serve efficiency. And Kaveh could chide him and tell him all the aesthetic details he could add here and there.

That didn't sound so bad.

They could be... well, not friends. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was to be friends with Alhaitham.

They could be two adults who lived together and talked to each other. Yes.

The next day, he saw that Alhaitham had left his things on a table and went to sit far away to read some book on sociology. After a few hours that he didn't even touch them, Kaveh had to ask:

"Are you going to keep practicing or...?"

Alhaitham didn't even look up from the book to answer, because he was now so insignificant that he wasn't even worth a glance, apparently.

"It wasn't very interesting, I think I better occupy my time reading this."

Kaveh couldn't understand what use a sociology book would be to someone who cared so little about human beings. All he knew was that Alhaitham had destroyed his illusions in a second, and he pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling.

"If I want to understand Grandmother's designs," Alhaitham continued, and their gazes met, "it is enough for me to ask you, isn't it?"

Kaveh's eyes widened and all depressing thoughts disappeared from his mind in an instant. Or rather, all thoughts, period. He stared at Alhaitham like that until he saw the dragon raise his eyebrows and realized he hadn't answered.

"Ah- Yes, I suppose," he hastened to say. His voice rose a tone and he had to clear his throat, fixing his eyes on the sheets again. "And what are you going to do with this?"

Alhaitham also looked at the sheets and drawing materials for a moment. Then he said, as if lazily:

"You keep them." Before Kaveh protested, he added, "I'm not going to use them anyway."

Kaveh began tapping on the table.

In fact, he hadn't made a single design since he went to the royal palace. He had been so busy that by the time he tried to sit down to draw, nothing would come out. He remembered the frustration, heavy in his heart, choking the air around him and making his whole body itch. Now, however, he felt that if he sat down in front of the paper...

"Okay."

It wasn't until later, when he was sketching a single-story, comfortable, small house, that he realized it looked quite similar to the design Alhaitham had made the day before.

So yes. As much as Kaveh would like to pretend that there was nothing but annoyance for the owner of the palace, whenever he was careless, he was assaulted by that feeling of familiarity and Kaveh could only drown in it.

Chapter Text

"So... what's going on between you and Alhaitham?," Tighnari asked casually one day.

Kaveh had joined Cyno and Tighnari when they were playing TCG and was taking a beating in the game. And then he got an emotional one for free.

It had been a while that he was talking to Cyno and Tighnari. Ever since they had accompanied him to the palace, Kaveh had insisted that they treat him informally and he felt much more comfortable with them since they stopped calling him 'Your Majesty'. They talked about various topics and he had even thought he could call them friends. He didn't think something like that would end up turning against him.

"N-Nothing, what could be going on?" He tried to conceal it, but his voice trembled and it was obvious that it wasn't true.

"They lived together in this palace for over a year," Cyno began, listing with his fingers, "He assigned him as his personal guard when he went to the royal palace, they slept toge-"

"Well, things happened!" Kaveh stopped him before the blood rushed to his face.

"And since he arrived, you always complain about him," Tighnari continued anyway, sliding a card on the table, "but you don't go out of your way to avoid him. Don't you eat together?"

It was too late. Kaveh blushed furiously.

"I'm not going to let him ruin _my_ routine..."

"Then you let him participate in your routine," Cyno concluded and then pointed: "It's your turn."

"Well, we had something before," he admitted, "but we had completely opposite ideas and that's where we are now. Whatever."

It didn't feel right, talking like this about the way they had loved each other. Or well, how he thought they had loved each other, because Alhaitham didn't seem to care when he hurt him and left even though he promised he'd never leave him. The worst part was that he couldn't blame him because, deep down, he knew it was his fault.

Kaveh didn't have the head to pay attention in the game, so he did the first thing that came to mind.

"He's just doing it to annoy me, I'm not going to let him annoy me."

"I bet he's the kind of guy who wastes his time bothering others, right?," said Tighnari.

"That's what I'm saying!"

"It was sarcasm."

"And you lost," Cyno pointed out.

Kaveh looked down and found that he had used an elemental burst that took out his last remaining character. Cyno still had all three, so it was only natural. He was doing much better against Tighnari, who he could at least put up a bit of a fight against. Cyno always destroyed him in seconds. He pouted.

"It's no fun waiting until you finish your game..." he sighed, trying to change the subject.

As good as Cyno was, he would sometimes purposely prolong games with Tighnari. It was like some kind of weird flirtation that made Kaveh want to tear his third wheeled skin off.

"We could play 2 vs 2. Let's invite Alhaitham," Cyno suggested.

"Funny, Cyno," this time it was Kaveh's turn to use sarcasm. It was easier for him when he was the sarcastic one, and it was also funnier. "Of course, because he sure wants to play with me a lot."

"I'll ask him."

"Huh?"

Cyno raised his hand in a gesture to someone behind Kaveh.

Kaveh could have sworn he felt the blood drain from his body even before Cyno said,

"Sir dragon! Do you want to come play TCG with us?"

He nearly snapped his neck turning to Alhaitham, who was quick to approach. What's worse, he even looked like he was curious.

"What's that?," asked Alhaitham.

"Genius Invokation TCG is a very good game. But to me, it's not just a game, it's an art form. It allows people to meet others, make friends, and experience the joy of dueling together."

Alhaitham: ...?

"A card game," interrupted Tighnari, purposely ignoring Kaveh's pleading look. "We want to play 2 vs 2, but we're missing one."

"I see." Alhaitham started to take a seat next to Kaveh but Cyno stopped him.

"Since you're new, it's better if you play with me, so I can teach you," he suggested.

"Hmm," Alhaitham turned to Kaveh, sitting down anyway. "No, I think it's better if Kaveh teaches me. He knows how to teach me."

"Ho? Does he now?"

And Kaveh didn't know if he wanted to bang his head against the table or burn everyone's cards so he wouldn't have to go through this. He did neither, of course. He explained the rules and skills to Alhaitham as best he could. Soon they began to argue because it was obvious that Alhaitham had understood everything, but he insisted on asking him the same questions over and over again. As if it was so much fun to bother him! Kaveh didn't understand him.

Just as he didn't understand why it was so easy to lean against Alhaitham to secretly point out instructions to him, or to brush their legs when he turned to him to demand something.

In the end, he preferred not to think about it.

-

Kaveh drummed his fingers on the table.

He couldn't.

It was strange.

Usually the flat silence overwhelmed him. It was like an iron mantle falling over his head, giving him too much room for boredom and to think, think and drown in the heaviest subject his brain could come up with. Then, he would start to move and feel better. Just the sound of the pen tearing the paper was enough to ease the emptiness of the silence.

Now, with his mother's letter in front of him, the tapping of his fingers against the table drowned him out. It was as if each tap went straight to his ears. It bordered on insane how loud it sounded.

And he couldn't stop.

If he stopped, surely all that energy that condensed inside him would end up making him explode. It was no use knowing that he didn't have any energy inside him, other than what made his body function.

It shouldn't be that hard.

It was just a letter from his mother. They had gotten along _well_ when she had been in Sumeru recently. However, that was before everything went to hell and he had _run_ from the palace. The last thing he would have wanted to do was to worry her to the point where she had to write to him. Now there was the letter and in front of it was Kaveh and the tapping sound was driving him crazy.

Oh, it wouldn't be so hard if only he wasn't so completely and devastatingly alone.

And the worst part was that whenever he thought of that empty feeling inside him, he had to remember it.

Alhaitham.

He was still there, but he might as well be a ghost the way he appeared in Kaveh's thoughts at every step and every instant.

"Kaveh."

If he concentrated hard, he could almost hear his voice.

"Kaveh."

No, that wasn't right. It had been a long time since he'd heard his tone like that when he spoke his name. Now, it would sound more indifferent, as if he had never uttered it as a secret between the two of them. As if he hadn't whispered it in his ear as he pulled him apart in her arms, his hands on his hips, his body pressing hard against Kaveh's, trying to meld the two of them into one...

"Kaveh?"

Ah, that hand on his shoulder was too real.

He turned around.

Alhaitham was looking at him with those eyes that told him nothing, but his hand on Kaveh was warm. Unbearably familiar.

"What's up with you?"

His first impulse was to tell him it was none of his business, or that he was perfectly fine. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak, instead, he said the truth.

"A letter from my mother." Somehow, the words came out through the lump in his throat. "She must have found out about the rebellion or she wouldn't have written to me. And now she'll be worried. No, on top of that if they know at Fontaine, the whole Teyvat will know, haha," his laughter was so dry. His hand kept drumming on the side, the sound reverberating in his ears" ...Everyone must think I'm an idiot now. I know you think so. I am an idiot."

There was no way Alhaitham could understand how, despite how much the rebel group mortified him, he wouldn't lift a finger. Making a move would lead to civil war, a civil war would lead to more dead than necessary. And yet, he was still sitting there, when he could be handing his head on a platter and bringing the death toll down to one.

He couldn't.

He was afraid.

Was it his idea or was there less air?

"You're not."

"What?"

"You're not an idiot."

His heart clenched in spite of himself.

"Ha." He looked away. "Are you trying to comfort me? You don't look the part, Alhaitham."

Alhaitham's hand gently squeezed his shoulder and the drumming of Kaveh's fingers stopped.

"Did I stutter?"

Silence hung over them for a moment. It was perhaps more oppressive than before, closing his throat and sinking his chest. Then Alhaitham removed his hand from him and Kaveh was almost about to ask him not to leave.

Then he didn't either, and as soon as Alhaitham opened his mouth to speak, Kaveh interrupted him:

"Look, enough with my thoughts. Just... don't talk."

He turned back to the table again, hoping he would simply walk away so he could finish having his crisis in peace. There were no footsteps. He was about to command him to go away straight away when he felt something sliding through his head. He reflexively raised his hands and brushed against Alhaitham's fingers —which didn't send a shiver down his spine or anything—, under which was the circular, metallic shape of an earpiece.

A soft instrumental began to play in his ears and Alhaitham pulled his hands away.

When Kaveh looked at him, Alhaitham was pulling the coiled cable out of his waist and handing him the small box to which it was connected.

"It's not-" Kaveh went to take off the headset, but Alhaitham hurried to hold it to his head with a look that brooked no objection. He left him the little box on the desk and went to lose himself somewhere else in the library.

Kaveh stared at the little box. The sweet sound of the music was like a caress to his saturated mind, soothing the throbbing pain in his head. These were the headphones he had made for Alhaitham, he remembered how they felt. He had made sure they were soft and comfortable to wear for a long period of time, as well as not pressing too hard and aesthetically pleasing to complement Alhaitham's colors. He hadn't put in any music function. It had to be a modification.

He had soon taken the little box in his hands to see how it worked.

And he knew that Alhaitham had only lent it to him, but he had modified something Kaveh did in the first place, so Kaveh had every right to see what he had done, right?

He was about to open it until he realized that the music would stop, so he put it down. Even though his mind already felt much clearer and calmer, there was still a certain pressure in his chest.

He didn't want to feel this way.

He was still undecided when he went to sit on the same couch as Alhaitham, playing with the little box in his hands.

The relief he felt just by approaching the dragon was so stupid.

He opened the letter without looking at him and began to read.

_"I'm sorry, my boy. If I had taken you further, if I had insisted more... I know you tried. I know you don't want anyone to get hurt because of you. That's why you let the rebellion go forward, isn't it? Your heart is too sweet for the royal world. I didn't insist before, so I'll insist now. Follow your heart, never give it up for others, but, above all, find a reason and __live__. I will pray that the Dendro Archon will protect you."_

Live.

He wanted to live.

Did he still have the right?

As a king, he tried to help people. That much he knew. If he had let the nobles do what they wanted, he wouldn't be in this situation. He tried, but still the people had turned against him.

And worst of all, he was his father's son. People loved his father, that's why he was there. That was because they didn't know that his father had stolen the throne. Did he? Kaveh didn't like to think so, but that didn't take away from the fact that it was a very real possibility.

If the very foundation of his coronation was corrupt...

"Do I even deserve to be king?," he mumbled.

A stain suddenly appeared on the sheet.

A drop.

No, a tear.

He opened his eyes wide.

Then arms wrapped around him and Kaveh's face was pressed against Alhaitham's strong chest. His first instinct was to push him away. Alhaitham didn't let him. He smelled so good. It had been so easy to fall asleep in the warmth of his arms, even on the coldest days, it always got to his heart.

"I'm not going to cry," Kaveh complained, squeezing Alhaitham's coat.

He couldn't hear any reply, of course. The music was still playing, lulling him and urging him to stay there as much as the way Alhaitham stroked his back.

Kaveh didn't cry.

Alhaitham didn't let go.

And in that relative moment of peace, they joined together until the murmuring in Kaveh's mind stopped. 

Chapter Text

"That's how it is."

Kaveh was returning to the palace entrance when he heard Cyno from one of the windows. He wouldn't have given it much thought except for the low, monotone voice that followed.

"I see." That's when Kaveh stopped. "I'll keep you posted."

Alhaitham.

It was odd. Alhaitham wasn't the type to socialize, like, ever. Much less with someone like Cyno, who wasn't one for many words either.

It crossed his mind to try to spy on them, but they both had too good senses for him to be able to pull it off anyway. On the other hand, he didn't think he got along well enough with either of them to interrupt them and ask what they were talking about.

In the end, his hesitation gave him away.

"Kaveh?" Alhaitham called out to him.

He had no choice but to approach the window frame. The two men were in a corridor. Their attitude seemed relaxed when Kaveh saw them, as if they were two friends talking casually. It had nothing to do with the time they saw each other in the tavern, when they seemed ready to tear each other apart.

"Hey, how odd to see you together," Kaveh greeted with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Cyno greeted him with a nod, but Alhaitham remained with his arms crossed, turning to the shorter one.

"Hm, is it?"

Wasn't it? Were they already so close that it wasn't supposed to be weird to run into them down the hallway chatting? Alhaitham didn't even talk to servants when they lived in the royal palace. Kaveh couldn't help the twinge in his chest and the slight relief he felt knowing Cyno was with Tighnari—No, why had he thought that?

"I saw that Cyno had an interesting book," Alhaitham commented.

"Huh?," Kaveh asked distractedly.

No, he couldn't entertain that thought. Of course he wasn't jealous, he had no reason to be jealous. In fact, he wouldn't even be upset that Alhaitham wanted to befriend his friends, so that thing he felt couldn't be jealousy and—

Cyno lifted the book and Kaveh's eyes almost popped out.

At first glance, that was definitely the diary.

He quickly snapped his expression into something he hoped was akin to serenity.

"I see. Well, I have to go..."

"Don't you recognize it?," Alhaitham interrupted, his eyes fixed on him. And Kaveh thought it was very unfair because they had tried several of the ideas that had been in that diary and now Alhaitham was looking at him as if he wanted him to remember it. "It's very similar to the one we had in the library, isn't it?"

Kaveh could tell by the words he used.

"That's not...?," he trailed off on purpose.

"It's my father's diary," Cyno then explained. "He gave it to me when I started dating Tighnari. That, and he told me to always learn something from the experience. You know, sex education."

Cyno looked at them expectantly and Kaveh wondered if he could get a Geo vision to make himself get swallowed up by the earth. At that moment, the corner of Alhaitham's lips turned up just enough to be a smile and he exhaled a laugh. Kaveh didn't realize how long it had been since he had seen Alhaitham smile until then. And he had to be laughing at the stupidest joke in the world. Even Cyno looked a little surprised.

Kaveh cleared his throat.

"So, what about the one in the library?"

"Ah, Alhaitham showed it to me. My father told me he had another one he lost. He used to work in the knights, so most likely it would have gotten among the books that were brought to the library for you."

"Alhaitham showed it to you," he repeated.

He felt stupid from the wave of embarrassment that overwhelmed him and did his best to hide it. Alhaitham knew it would embarrass him and told Cyno anyway. He was probably examining his reactions now, scoffing at the way Kaveh couldn't even bring himself to take a look at him.

"My father always wondered what would have become of his book and if it was helpful," Cyno commented in passing.

His mind was a bitch. It had no reason to bring back up how, after a few rounds, Alhaitham would press their lips together. He would no longer have the air to kiss him and he would gasp over his mouth because he would still want him close. So close that they would be everything the other could breathe. Their breaths would mingle and drown in each other, unable to let go, they would still seek more, more, more.

Then they couldn't blame him for the heat that rose up his body.

"Hm, no comment."

Nor for the bucket of cold water that was Alhaitham's words in that monotone voice he once thought he could read. He preferred to believe he could no longer read it, because if he had to guess now, he'd say it was indifferent. As if everything they went through didn't matter to him at all. Not now, not ever.

"Fuck you, Alhaitham."

He turned and strode away.

Oh, stupid sensitivity.

He hated that the words slipped out of his mouth before he could breathe.

He hated the unchanging expression in Alhaitham's eyes as he swept his gaze over him.

He hated that back and forth where he would think maybe—maybe what?

Worst of all, no matter how stupid or abandoned he felt, he couldn't honestly say he hated Alhaitham.

-

Cyno apologized as soon as they met. He said he didn't mean to upset him, which Kaveh already knew. It's not like they hadn't made comments about sexuality to each other, and Cyno had a habit of 'joking' to ease the tension. Kaveh wasn't upset with him, so they were soon back to normal.

The real reason he had been upset, on the other hand, continued to make no comment for a few more days—which did nothing to ease the heaviness in his chest, thank you very much.

Kaveh hadn't seen a hair of him at meals for several days, mainly because he took it upon himself to show up to the dining hall after Alhaitham had left, no matter how late it was. It was a childish attitude, but hey... no, there were no buts. He'd rather be childish than have to face the dragon.

That day, however, after he had started eating, Alhaitham re-entered the dining hall and Kaveh nearly choked when he approached him.

Instead of greeting or apologizing, he stated:

"Apparently, tonight there is 2-for-1 drinks at Lambad's tavern."

And then he stared at him as if waiting for him to say something. Kaveh wouldn't put up with having a staring match with Alhaitham of all people, so he blurted out without thinking:

"So? Are you going to treat me?"

Alhaitham brushed the cover of the book in his hands carefully, drawing the outline of the letters unconsciously.

"Hm, depends. Are you going to match what I drink?"

"Are you challenging me?"

"Am I?"

"If I drink more than you, you're going to pay me twice as many drinks as you've had?"

"Oh? Then, if I drink more than you, you'll owe me."

Kaveh had run out of his supply of alcohol because of a certain someone. It wasn't a good idea: his alcohol tolerance was minus ten. There was no way he could catch up with anyone else without dying trying. However, Alhaitham was challenging him and if there was one thing Kaveh wanted to do at that moment it was to prove that he could do it—it had nothing to do with him wanting to spend time with Alhaitham, because of course he didn't want that.

"I wouldn't worry about that."

Alhaitham's eyes narrowed with that glint that Kaveh associated with mockery.

"Good. We leave in two hours."

"Huh? Isn't that in the evening?"

But the dragon had already turned his back on him and was leaving with lazy steps.

-

Alhaitham insisted on flying him, so Kaveh had to pretend it didn't make him think how different the two of them were when they traveled like this before. Better times —or ignorant times— when he believed what they had was special and would be forever. So Kaveh blocked his mind and let the wind blow his memories and worries away.

He still felt somewhat numb as the walk gave way to the houses on the outskirts and he glanced over them, the faint impression that something had changed pressing at the back of his mind without his being able to recognize exactly what.

It wasn't until they were about to enter the city that he realized.

In the time he had visited the city, Kaveh had helped to fix many of the infrastructural errors that happened due to the precariousness of the buildings, but no matter how hard he tried, he was only one person. There were still many houses left to repair when he had to leave for the royal palace. The last few times he came since he came back always were at night and it was hard to notice: more than a year ago, most of the houses in this area were precarious; now, he could count them on the fingers of his hands.

This was one of the regions ruled by those who supported Kaveh, of course. Otherwise, he would not have been able to stay in the palace. So maybe, just maybe... this was a result of his actions?

And that is, in theory, he had people on his side. However, Azar and his people had also been 'on his side' at the time, which was nothing but bullshit. Could he be blamed if he did not believe the reports or the words of others?

"Haitham, do you think...?," he muttered absently.

"Hm?"

No, Alhaitham would most likely have no idea even if he asked. Being as he was, he had never been interested in the affairs of humans. He couldn't possibly know any more about it than Kaveh did. He shook his head.

"How did you convince Cyno to let you bring me here alone? He's pretty serious about being the head of the personal guard, you know."

"I didn't ask him."

Kaveh: ...

There was a hint of a smile on Alhaitham's face at Kaveh's reaction.

"I brought you here before he did."

"Only you could... Gods." Kaveh focused on a store on the opposite side from Alhaitham to hide how the corners of his lips turned up.

"Let's go to the market," Alhaitham said casually.

The fair was as lively as Kaveh remembered it, perhaps more so than before. People occupied the entire street at this time of the afternoon and Kaveh reflexively cast an eye at Alhaitham. Aside from the gentle frown, which must have been because of the number of people, he didn't seem physically affected. Why would he even want to come to the fair?

Alhaitham looked down suddenly, past Kaveh. He followed his eyes and found that he was clinging to the edge of Alhaitham's cloak. It was automatic, so as not to get lost. Quickly he removed his hand, thankful that he didn't grab his hand as he already did the last few times they were there, and played dumb. Alhaitham made no comment either.

They walked through the market and Kaveh let his eyes wander around the place to dispel his embarrassment.

Soon, they stopped in front of a stall. Shelves surrounded the stall like walls, filled with dozens of books. Kaveh wouldn't have recognized it if it weren't for the people sitting behind the main display table.

"Hey, it's you!" The cheerful man greeted when Kaveh lifted his hood a little to get a better look. "It's been a long time! Have you been working?"

"Hello," he greeted with a shy smile, lowering his hood again. "Yes, of course." He turned to Alhaitham, who barely gave them a nod. It didn't escape him that the old man didn't seem surprised that the dragon was there. He imagined that he would have come to buy some book after arriving at the palace. In any case, he didn't want to draw attention to his supposed work (hadn't he said he was an architect? He wished). "I see you are doing very well."

"Oh, yes," he nodded, "All of us, actually. Haven't you heard?"

Kaveh shook his head, and made up:

"I was abroad. What good happened?"

"We changed kings. You know, for the young man who was sheltered in a tower not far from here." Thank the gods that Kaveh managed to keep his expression neutral. He only responded with a nod for him to continue. "He recently finished making the Akademiya free of charge, so now there are a lot of people wanting to join and I managed to sell a lot more books than before. My own daughter is applying for the entrance exams now that she can afford it."

"Oh, really?" Kaveh couldn't help a little excitement in his voice.

"Yes! For Amurta, can you imagine?" The man looked happy too. "It's just that, in general, people have more mora since taxes on governors were limited, so of course it's easier to sell."

So it was as Kaveh thought. Some of the remodeling he saw on the outskirts must have been possible because of him. There was a stirring in his chest that he couldn't quite put a name to. Like, was it okay for him to be excited about this?

"Oh, but I heard he recently returned to the region's palace," the man sighed.

Right. As much as he was getting reports from time to time, since he came to the palace he wasn't really working. This... whatever he did, how could he have any right to claim it as his own if he had left it half-finished and tried to escape?

"I hope he's all right."

"Huh?" Kaveh looked up.

"Well, part of the reason we're better off is because of the areas that were closed. Some governors and nobles didn't agree with what the king wanted to do, so some cities are closed. Of course, that serves the other cities well because people had to look for other places to shop," he said with some embarrassment. "Now, I heard that those governors were getting ready to fight. It's ironic, of course, because they themselves were the ones who brought the king to power. It's just that I guess that, if he is stressed enough to voluntarily return to the place where he was confined..."

Confined. Kaveh wanted to see what Alhaitham was thinking but, for some reason, his eyes were once again glued to the ground.

"I see."

"That's how it is for people like us. Reigns begin and end no matter what we want." The man shook his head. "I just hope whatever comes out of this doesn't reverse the good things we got."

"Of course."

The man stared at Kaveh for a few seconds too long and a slight worry made his hands shake. Some arts about the king had come out of his meetings with the various citizens who had come to the palace to see him, that Kaveh knew, but he never had one properly made, so the ones that were around weren't of very good quality. That's why he could walk around in a cloak and draw the least bit of attention without being recognized. Still, nerves tensed his body every time someone stared at him. Luckily, the man soon changed the subject:

"But enough of politics, did you want to buy something?"

Kaveh hastened to find some random book on architecture that he hadn't seen before —luckily, it seemed they didn't give up on the subject no matter how he hadn't been here in over a year— and they said their goodbyes.

Wherever they went, it was clear that the city was more prosperous and livelier than before. Everyone was going about their business, relaxed in the untroubled present in which they lived. If you saw the city just like that, you would never suspect that an internal conflict was going on in the country. Even Kaveh came to think, through the constant feeling of guilt, that maybe some of what he did had served a purpose.

That he wouldn't be blamed if, by the time they reached the tavern, he didn't feel as bad as before.

"I hope you're ready to lose," Kaveh said with a sideways grin as soon as they received their first drinks.

Alhaitham hummed. "Show me."

Alhaitham didn't look too scared, which only made it more obvious that Kaveh was going to get completely crushed and then he would have to pay him for the drinks even though he barely had mora for himself. Kaveh hid his doubt behind the glass. He thought he'd heard that drinking fast would only make him get drunk faster, but he didn't have the patience to do it slow anyway. He would have to get used to it at some point, wouldn't he? He finished his glass in one go and watched Alhaitham, who began to drink from his in sips.

"Don't be so slow," he complained with a frown. "Can't I have another?"

Alhaitham shook his head, his teal eyes fixed on Kaveh as he swirled his glass.

"Don't be impatient," he copied his tone with a small grimace. "Wait for me to finish."

Kaveh rolled his eyes, but said nothing, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.

"I drink too slow," Alhaitham said shamelessly, taking another small swig from his glass as if it wasn't that a few days ago he'd finished Kaveh's drink in one go and remained so impasive. Kaveh's gaze inevitably dropped to his throat, where his Adam's apple rose and fell with the drink. "So what do you think of the city?"

Kaveh drummed his fingers on the table.

"I guess I'm glad that at least one city out of so many is doing well."

"One city, you say," Alhaitham repeated, swinging the glass instead of drinking from it. "If the reports don't help, I guess we'll have to see more to confirm."

"We?" Kaveh raised his eyebrows.

After Alhaitham ignored him in pursuit of drinking, it was as if the man's entire behavior in bringing him here ahead of time and walking him around town made sense. He had never made any comment about it, so Kaveh had thought he forgot. For his part, Kaveh replayed the scene with embarrassment too many times in his head to forget that he asked Alhaitham if he deserved to be king. Then.

"You brought me here to confirm the reports?"

Alhaitham didn't even bother to put the glass down, a smile rising at the corner of his lips. At Kaveh's confused look, he drank until there was only a line of wine left in his glass. As he set the glass down on the table with a tap, Kaveh remembered that they were supposed to keep drinking—and perhaps it would be easier for him to understand Alhaitham that way.

"Well, let's order more," Kaveh suggested, nervousness making his voice tremble slightly.

He was about to raise his hand when Alhaitham stopped him:

"No need. You've already won."

Kaveh blinked, more entangled than before.

"How?"

Alhaitham gestured to the line remaining in his glass.

"I can't drink anymore."

Kaveh: ...

"No, stop playing with me. The other time you were much better than me and we had a bottle."

"That's weird, I'm probably more sensitive today." Alhaitham shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry. Besides being sensitive, I'm generous, so I'll buy you a bottle. That's more than twice as much as I drank, isn't it?"

Kaveh: ...

"You don't want to fall down from being too drunk, do you?" Alhaitham finished, his teal eyes sparkling with amusement.

Kaveh realized too late. Sure, that's why he offered to bring him on his back instead of coming on horseback, where he could at least hold him up so he wouldn't fall off. This idiot, how much had he planned ahead?

"You'd just have to catch me, wouldn't you?," Kaveh grumbled, but it didn't matter anymore.

Who knew a victory against Alhaitham could taste so sour?

"Make it two."

-

So, Kaveh considered, considered and considered.

As much as he wanted nothing to do with the crown, he was still the king, there were still people who wanted to get rid of him and reverse everything he had done.

He could no longer cling to the feeling that everything he had done had been for nothing when he had seen proof to the contrary with his own eyes. It wasn't all bad. People had benefited from what he had done. And if he wanted to be generous with himself, he could even think that there were people who cared about him and were waiting for him back.

He couldn't help it. There was nothing he hated more than feeling that he was letting someone down.

The decision was made even before the report came in, a little more than a couple of days later.

'There seems to be a new rebel group brewing on the border with the desert. We await orders from His Majesty.'

Just like that, the king's 'peaceful' days came to an end.

Chapter Text

If Kaveh had to explain why he decided to move forward at that moment, when it seemed he had his back against the wall, he would say that once he was determined to do something, he would have to move somewhere. So much energy could not be undone so easily and even the small crisis after the revelation couldn't drown him.

He had to find a way to keep what was right and take care of the rest.

He thought he was alone because he had been tricked once, but that didn't seem to be the case.

Thus, the king prepared to return to the royal palace.

"So you decided to go back?" Alhaitham stood in his doorframe, watching him gather his things on his own.

"Yes, I'll stop bothering you," Kaveh answered naturally.

Alhaitham hummed, seemingly in deep thought, and Kaveh wished he would just go away. It wasn't comfortable to pack up under his watchful eye, it reminded him of things he didn't want to think about. "What are you going to do then?"

"I'm not going to start a civil war, if that's what you're asking." And then, before he could say anything else, he added, "Don't even try to convince me. I'm not in the mood for headaches."

"Why would I?"

Kaveh tried not to stop when that translated in his mind as 'I don't care about you anymore anyway'.

"Actually, I was thinking of going to the capital," Alhaitham continued nonchalantly.

Kaveh looked up, his brow furrowed.

"Why would you want to go to the capital? You said you didn't like it."

"And you said you'd pay me rent," he continued, without answering the question, "but you didn't. I'll save you the trouble: you can let me stay at the palace in return."

Oh. Sure, that's the way things were. Gods, why did Kaveh say he would pay him? How foolish of him. He had too many other debts to pay to worry about what Alhaitham would consider enough for his palace rent. And now he was offering him this arrangement that was actually good for him.

For a moment, he wondered if going to the capital would be an excuse to be near him. He dismissed the idea as soon as it came up. No. The tension between them was still there, making sure that Kaveh couldn't really feel a glimmer of calm around him most of the time. Why would Alhaitham want to deal with that just to be near Kaveh? It just had to be the most convenient arrangement. Alhaitham was very practical, as always.

"Do what you want," Kaveh snorted, snapping the bag shut.

-

The trip to the capital was longer when they had to avoid the taken cities.

Kaveh found he had plenty of time to think.

Of course, having time to think while dodging a place makes you think about that place.

Kaveh wondered how the common people were doing there. After all, they could no longer trade with other cities in Sumeru. As far as they knew, they were allowing some Liyue and Mondstadt merchants in —Kaveh didn't bother to stop them—, but what they were getting couldn't be half enough to supply the cities as they should. Much less when they were trying to raise an army to rival the royal army.

One night they were camping near the border with Liyue, just beyond the Vimara City, and Kaveh thought.

'If I don't know how the people are doing, how am I supposed to help them?'

He thought, thought, thought and couldn't stop thinking.

At some point, he fell asleep, but the idea was already so embedded in his mind that he soon found himself in the dark. It wasn't so bad. Instead, it felt warm in a way. A small light was visible in the distance. Kaveh only took a step towards it before a voice sweet and wise as nature itself echoed in the darkness.

'Follow your instincts.'

Suddenly, he woke up.

That bed wasn't comfortable at all anyway.

He hadn't taken more than a few steps away from the circle of tents that thin strings of electricity cut his path, illuminating a thin silver edge. Thank the gods, he had expected it, or he would have ended up falling when he stumbled away from the polearm.

"Gods, Cyno!" Kaveh mumbled, trying not to speak too loudly even as he was squeezing his heart with fright.

He couldn't be happier that he wasn't really the General's target.

Cyno lowered his polearm as soon as he saw who it was.

"Kaveh, what are you doing here alone?"

Having bad luck, apparently. He had prayed that it was not the hour when Cyno was on duty, but that was the way things were. Perhaps it was better this way... if he could get the general to let him pass.

"Are you going somewhere?," Cyno raised his eyebrows.

He could no longer hide the bag on his back.

"Ah, I suppose so," he tried to smile to ease the tension, but Cyno's stoic face wasn't very friendly in the night. "Actually, I left you a note, so I wasn't leaving unannounced."

"I don't think a note would do much to reassure me if the king disappeared in the middle of the night."

"Right." Kaveh sighed.

Rather than an explanation, what he did was to spit out his thoughts to him in disarray, as they came. The General didn't seem impressed and as soon as he finished speaking, of course he replied:

"It's too dangerous."

"I have to go," Kaveh repeated. "I know that if I go, I'll have a better idea of what to do next. If I don't, I'll just be walking in the dark."

It was something he just knew. He didn't understand why. Even when his instincts were dragging him to move, itching his muscles to move forward no matter what, his logical mind was telling him to turn around and go back to the tent. Kaveh considered himself as rational as anyone. In that instant, however, he couldn't be more certain of his decision.

Cyno drummed the shaft of his polearm and Kaveh wondered if he would force him to turn around and go to sleep.

"As a general, I have to tell you no," he said firmly, but did not move.

"...And as a friend?" Kaveh then tried.

"Come back in less than two days or I will force my way into the city with the whole royal army."

The relief was instantaneous, clearing his worries. He had a feeling he would have no trouble, almost as if the gods were on his side.

"Cyno, I could kiss you," he said at once, and even smiled for real.

"Hm? I think you'd be better off with someone else," as if to prove that the gods couldn't be less interested in making his life easy, then he added, "Take Alhaitham with you."

"Alhaitham? Why would he want to go with me?" Kaveh scoffed in spite of himself. "He barely accompanies us to the capital without complaining because we're going so slowly."

"Do you really think he's not dying to take any opportunity to get under your clothes?," he asked with what appeared to be a smile. Like, Cyno smiling.

"Clothes? Don't you mean skin? Cyno? What did you mean? Cyno?"

-

"This is too reckless, Kaveh," the dragon blurted out as he was already following him through the jungle.

Kaveh had decided to ignore him. A difficult task when Alhaitham's voice had the innate ability to get into his brain and invade his every thought.

"If you want to know how they are doing so badly, you could send someone else."

"Alhaitham, I think I told you not to try to convince me."

"That was two days ago. Today is a new day, and since you dragged me into your unreasonable methods, I think I have the right to evaluate our options."

Kaveh stopped suddenly and Alhaitham crashed into him. He faced the dragon with his arms crossed, standing so close to Alhaitham that he could feel his body heat. The coldness melted from the dragon's eyes for an instant and Kaveh almost hesitated.

"If it seems so unreasonable to you, come back," his voice was not as firm as he first intended. "No one is forcing you to come with me."

Kaveh glared back at him trying to look defiant, but it was difficult when something unfamiliar was swirling in Alhaitham's eyes. The sky was barely giving the first signs of dawn and under the trees everything was still dark. He shouldn't have stopped like this. Separated only by Kaveh's crossed arms, he could stand on tiptoe and...

This moment was too intimate.

Why wasn't he moving away?

Alhaitham's gaze went beyond his eyes and his heart might as well have leapt out of his chest when he realized he was looking at his mouth. Before he could even pull away, Alhaitham raised his hand, his electrifying touch brushing the corner of his lips. He parted his lips reflexively, his breath coming in short gasps and his eyelashes quivering. Closing his eyes in anticipation came as naturally to him as breathing, but in the way his own body forced him to, as if he needed it to live.

And he waited and waited and...

The warm sensation of Alhaitham's hand on his face disappeared. Kaveh opened his eyes instantly. Alhaitham was moving a few steps away. The cold he hadn't felt when he left the tent was suddenly all too real.

"You had drool," he said casually, looking away.

The heat ran over him again as fast as an avalanche.

"Of course not!" Kaveh instantly raised his hand. He couldn't help but turn pale when he felt the texture of dried saliva on his cheek. Had he been talking to Cyno with dried saliva on his face?! Especially, Alhaitham...

The idiot snorted a laugh.

"Come on. If we want to catch up with the merchants, we can't get there long after sunrise."

-

Kaveh had no idea where to look for the merchants, but the moment they entered the city, Alhaitham started walking as if in a straight line towards the area where the merchants were preparing to leave. He did not let that detail pass.

"Did you know where we had to go?," Kaveh asked warily.

"I had been traveling," Alhaitham replied, indifferent.

"Traveling? Through human cities?"

Alhaitham shrugged, walking over to talk to a random group.

"Morning. We want to work..."

The revelation was like a bucket of cold water for Kaveh. He couldn't even concentrate properly while Alhaitham was looking for some merchant going to Vimara who would allow them to join them.

Alhaitham had been traveling.

Just what he had offered him when it was just the two of them.

Just what he had promised he would give up for the sake of being with Kaveh in the royal palace.

Just what he had done when he was no longer bound by his imbecilic and suffocating now ex-partner.

When they left for the royal palace, Kaveh feared for a while that the palace walls would not be enough for Alhaitham. That promise that had once been a door to imagination, to something more the two of them could have, became his chains. He was usually too busy with his own things to worry about that, but as soon as he had some time to think, he wondered if that life would be enough for Alhaitham too. Then Alhaitham would hug him and whisper words of love in his ear, making him forget his worries. Until he didn't.

It all happened so fast, but now it was obvious to Kaveh.

He was those chains for Alhaitham, holding him to his side with oppressive grip until he broke.

And who would be foolish enough to willingly chain himself a second time?

"Is that your friend?" A voice that spoke in a light tone despite its words interrupted his thoughts. "How do you expect us to trust you if he doesn't show his face?"

"As I told you before," Alhaitham did not seem at all impressed by the man's question. "Our family needs us. They can't know we're from Sumeru if we want to get in."

"But I'm not them, am I?" The man leaned sideways as if to look under his hood and Alhaitham stood in front of him.

Kaveh thought he remembered that it was a subject that came up a lot in their previous failed attempts and they didn't have much choice anymore.

Aside from that, from what they had seen, they were carrying barrels of wine and were most likely going to deliver them to some tavern. Suspecting that ordinary people could not afford to attend a tavern, and small taverns could not stay open without these people, it was most likely for one that the wealthy would attend. It would be a good opportunity to try to hear some of what Azar and the others were thinking. They couldn't let it pass so easily.

"All right," he sighed, turning past Alhaitham to get a good look at the man.

Kaveh thought he remembered he was from Mondstadt. The man had the air of the perfect grandson, outgoing, friendly, cheerful, confident, very different from Kaveh. Yet Kaveh could feel it. Behind those star-shaped eyes was the whisper of a secret, an intelligent gaze that would let nothing pass him by ascertaining with the relaxed air of the others in his group. He didn't look like a merchant, which made Kaveh wonder why he was there. When his eyes met the man's, one of them covered with an eyepatch, he felt that, if he could get this person to help them, he would not betray them.

Follow your instincts, right?

Kaveh looked around to make sure no one else was watching and pulled his hood up slightly, letting the sun hit his face.

The man opened his eye slightly. The hint of recognition made his skin prickle, but it didn't surprise him.

He dropped his hood, avoiding Alhaitham's gaze, who was surely chomping at the bit to poke daggers at him with his eyes.

"It's not about our family, it's about all families," he asserted, his words hanging in the air for a moment. "We won't cause you trouble. We just want to get in and get out."

"I see," he said slowly, a smile creeping onto his lips. "I think we can negotiate a mutually beneficial reward, hm? We leave in half an hour."

-

A while later, they were changed into the clothes they borrowed and began their journey alongside the transport. The man, who introduced himself as Kaeya, came over to make casual small talk, asking him about his life in a covert manner. Kaveh could almost feel Alhaitham's gaze stabbing him from behind. Without knowing why, his mind brought back the memory of that morning's non-kiss and something nudged him to continue the conversation.

"You don't look like a merchant, by the way," Kaveh casually stroked Kaeya's arm, evidently muscular and firm under his hands. "Are you a bodyguard or something?"

"Something like that," Kaeya said, smiling knowingly, as if he had also noticed Alhaitham's gaze on them, or how much Kaveh was avoiding him. "Let's just say I'm guarding this cargo for a... friend."

Friend.

For some reason, the way he said it made Kaveh turn around.

Alhaitham instantly averted his gaze, casually crossing his arms.

Kaveh was sure he could hear them.

"Oh, yes." Kaveh finished, trying not to look stricken. "I understand you perfectly."

Chapter Text

They made it through the city checkpoint without much trouble —who would have thought, among the inexperienced soldiers who were sent to patrol the gates, that the king might show up there in person dressed in casual Mondstadt clothes?

In fact, they were lucky.

Kaeya's group went to a popular tavern. It only took Kaeya's asking a bit for the bartender to tell them that he had lost a lot of casual customers.

Just as they thought, the situation was complicated and the government had raised taxes to cover the expenses of the army they were trying to form. Kaveh was casually unloading the barrels at a slow pace so that he could listen.

"It's the king's fault." The barrel slipped a little, and if Alhaitham hadn't been at his side and held it up, he would have dropped it. "If it weren't for the king raising taxes, none of this would have happened."

"Hm? What do you mean?"

Kaeya urged him to continue and, as one who loves to complain, the bartender continued, invigorated.

"Yes, this all started because the new king wanted to raise taxes exaggeratedly. There were a few governors and nobles who objected, of course, and among them were those in this area. The king wanted to imprison them, so they had to close the city." The bartender clicked his tongue in indignation. "For a while, taxes returned to normal, but now they are preparing the army to overthrow him. Of course, an army needs to eat, so until this is over, we have no choice but to exert ourselves."

The audacity.

The nerve.

Kaveh felt he couldn't listen to that much bullshit put together. He took a step forward, ready to argue with the barrel in his arms or skewered on the city governor's head. He didn't get very far before Alhaitham crossed his sight. His expression was very clear, 'don't do anything stupid'.

"I hope the situation is resolved soon," said Kaeya, sympathetic, an easy smile on his lips, and there was no one else to notice the merchant whose hands were shaking.

-

"I have a feeling," Kaeya said casually later, "that the king has little interest in the Mora."

Kaveh looked up. He felt himself tremble a little at the feeling of gratitude, as if he were about to cry, but not.

"No," Alhaitham answered for him, his voice curt. "The king knows the importance of Mora as well as anyone else, it's just that he doesn't let himself be manipulated by it."

Why did that attempted compliment sound so aggressive coming out of Alhaitham's mouth?

"The king," Kaveh rejoined, crossing his arms, "didn't authorize raising taxes in the first place. That's all bullshit invented by rulers in this area, I'm sure." After blurting that out with all the annoyance in the world, he felt he didn't want to talk about it anymore without processing it properly. "Where are we going now?"

"Oh," Kaeya smiled sideways, "in your words, the residence of one of those bullshit inventors."

-

The one who had bought the most barrels of wine was the governor, a man named Amin. He didn't even bother to show up to greet them, of course, so Kaveh didn't have to worry about him recognizing him.

By then, it was nearing dinnertime and, as a special service to the visiting merchants for their long journey —or, if they called it for what it was, as a form of surveillance—, they were invited to stay the night at a nearby inn.

They were not going to be so kind. They got a room for the whole group.

"There is only one room," Kaeya commented with an apology in his voice. "I hope you don't mind."

Kaveh had no problem, but before he could say anything, Alhaitham had already interrupted for him:

"I'll order another room."

And he went to talk to the receptionist, leaving them alone in the lobby.

"If you ask me," Kaeya began casually, "you don't even need to try to make him jealous."

Kaveh felt his face redden instantly, focusing on the direction in which Alhaitham had left. Luckily, Alhaitham didn't even seem to flinch. If it weren't for the fact that he was wearing his headphones inside the city, he would have heard him.

"I wasn't trying to make him jealous!" Kaveh hastened to correct him in a low voice. "Don't say that. His hearing is too good." And then he added, following the compelling need to put it out of his mind and into reality, "Besides, Alhaitham is not jealous."

Kaeya smiled, raising his eyebrows.

"Sure, sure, I believe you. No need to get defensive."

It was all too obvious that he didn't believe him and a voice in his head wondered if everyone else would arrive to a similar conclusion. He hoped Alhaitham wouldn't mind —most likely not, since he cared little what anyone else thought, but that didn't mean that, if he did, he wouldn't think it was demeaning to be paired with such an asshole ex as Kaveh. He just wanted to get a room apart because he was a distrustful one and he had to keep Kaveh safe since he was the one who would give him a free roof over his head in the capital. Just that.

After all, given the chance, he wouldn't even kiss him.

That thought fell heavier on him than he thought it would and, when Alhaitham returned, he couldn't bring himself to look at him.

-

"How did you get Mora to even pay for another room?" Kaveh asked him later, when they were eating in the private room.

Alhaitham shrugged and Kaveh rolled his eyes. So willing to talk, as always.

What had Kaeya said about Alhaitham being jealous already?

Only when he stood up, carrying his plate with him, did Alhaitham glance at him. Kaveh didn't see him, for his back was already turned.

"Hpmh. If you're not going to talk, I'd better go eat with Kaeya and the others."

Alhaitham got in his way so quickly that he didn't even make a sound, only the thump of the chair echoing. He held his arm, barely keeping him from dropping his food.

"No."

Kaveh blinked, incredulous, but his heart skipped a beat.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Kaveh tried to step back to free himself from Alhaitham's grip.

"You shouldn't get that close to someone you don't even know," Alhaitham argued as a fact, taking a step forward.

You shouldn't get so close to your ex either, Kaveh wanted to tell him.

"How am I supposed to get to know him if I can't get close to him?" Kaveh snorted.

He tried to retrieve his arm again, a task that proved impossible as he didn't want to throw his food away and Alhaitham refused to let go.

If he wasn't going to let him back down... Kaveh advanced another step forward with a defiant look and his plate got caught between the two of them. He quickly realized that, although he did it to annoy Alhaitham, it ended up backfiring, like everything else he did these days. They weren't as close as in the morning, but it still made his chest burst and his gaze find its way to those lips that had once been his.

It was so irritating.

"Give me a reason not to leave," he growled.

Such a simple request at first glance.

Surely Alhaitham could have formulated a million reasons. However, at that moment, with the two of them standing so close, logic failed him.

"I don't like him."

That argument was so stupid that they both fell silent.

Kaveh automatically glared at him. However, for the first time, he wondered if Alhaitham really was jealous. Wasn't that what everyone insisted on implying to him? And maybe if people realized what Kaveh was trying to do, it made sense that they would realize that Alhaitham was still... and Kaveh was just blind.

Or maybe he was just believing what he wanted to believe.

Whatever it was, he needed to know.

He was a second away from pushing his plate away to pounce on Alhaitham when Alhaitham let go and took a step back, leaving him with his mouth half open like a fool.

"And I don't think he likes you either, so don't bother."

He wasn't jealous, after all. He was just an idiot.

Oh, but so was Kaveh, so he complained and they argued, but he stayed.

-

It was much more common to roll around in bed these months. That was something that happened before Alhaitham, so common that he got used to passing out from exhaustion rather than closing his eyes and waiting for sleep. Just as his mind was a jumble of ideas, it could also become a nest of anxiety and worry. It was easy to lose himself in guilt and regret when there was nothing to distract him from his thoughts.

Resting in Alhaitham's arms had been like a sweet ride. He was used to insomnia before, but who wouldn't look back and drown in the memory of how simple it could be —if only he hadn't ruined everything, if only Alhaitham didn't loathe the core of his being, if only the world didn't suck with them?

He could pretend that more than a year away from each other was enough to forget it.

Then he'd keep on tossing and turning and his mind would keep on working. It was hard to pretend when he became more and more painfully aware of how Alhaitham would hear how anxiously his heart pounded, or the many times he would toss and turn wanting to find the pose that would knock him out for good —Alhaitham always woke up easily with Kaveh—, and if his hearing was just a little sharper, he would surely hear how in his head he would urge himself to sleep, sleep, sleep.

And it was ridiculous, because he had walked through the forest to get to the city since early morning and then loaded several barrels of wine. More exercise than he'd had in weeks. He should be able to do something as simple as sleep.

If so, why?

Oh, right.

Because he was about to kiss Alhaitham.

Like, initiating the kiss himself, not anxiously waiting for Alhaitham to kiss him.

Shit, why?

"Kaveh," the whisper cut through his thoughts, causing him to turn for the hundredth time, this time to chase after it, "It's already two o'clock."

If it had been like before, the voice would be on his ear, caressing his cheek to ruffle the hairs on the back of her neck. Now, he was a bed away, the space between the single beds as big as the universe.

"Oh, sorry, I'll tell my body to shut down now."

Alhaitham snorted.

"I don't think it works that way."

"Well, then?"

He didn't like answering like that, but he couldn't help it when he had nerves crawling up his neck, squeezing him until he couldn't breathe.

"Did you figure out what you wanted?" Alhaitham asked after a moment, his voice soft in the darkness.

Oh. Right. Did he?

He had seen people on the street and added to what they had heard, most likely the common people had less Mora than normal. Taxes had gone up and they couldn't communicate with much of Sumeru, so work shouldn't be easy for them, as he suspected. What he hadn't expected was that they had lied so blatantly, putting all the blame on him when he had done nothing more than try to help from the beginning. Those who had bought the lie must have been very angry with the king.

"Yes, I suppose," Kaveh sighed, and after a moment's thought, he added, "But all is not lost." Of course, if he could take back the city and show them what he was doing, he could still regain the trust of the people here, couldn't he? "I just feel bad that these people got caught in the middle."

"That's very you." Kaveh could hear the smile in Alhaitham's voice and his heart skipped a beat. "That's good."

"Huh? And what does that mean...?"

Alhaitham snorted a laugh and Kaveh regretted not being able to see him clearly. That didn't stop him from imagining it. The barely visible way his eyebrows were raised, his lips parting and the corner of them raised an inch. A gesture that only Kaveh would recognize as a laugh, but that he had been able to appreciate and that now made his hand itch to turn on the light and see it again.

"Haitham," he began, certain that he had to say something, now.

"Wait."

"No, listen to me."

He didn't know what he was going to say, but he wanted to say something he would regret when they weren't in the dark or in the early morning, when he wasn't dying to get close to the dragon and just see him smile for him again.

"Haitham, I..."

"Shut up," Alhaitham's tone was more serious this time and Kaveh actually shut up.

He didn't get to wonder if he had done something wrong that Alhaitham was jumping off the bed with the grace with which he usually moved the moment he was about to fight. The sound of the sheets slipping was minuscule and then he saw Alhaitham's shadow on the other side of his bed, closer to the door.

For a moment, Kaveh could only hear his heart pumping in his ear, blood flowing nervously through his system. There was nothing else. He opened his mouth to ask, and then he heard it: nervous footsteps approaching down the hallway. He sat up in bed, alert.

Right. It didn't have to be anything special. Anyone could be running down the hallway without it needing to have anything to do with the king who was undercover in that hotel, right?

Footsteps stopped in front of his room and insistent knocking caused Alhaitham to summon two swords in a flash, one in each hand. Kaveh didn't get to question it that a voice sounded from the hallway. It pretended to be a whisper, as if he didn't want others to hear, but it was as frantic as his footsteps.

"Milord, you have to wake up. They're coming!"

...

Oh, yes, that clearly sounded like something he wasn't at all involved in.

Kaveh tore the blankets off himself.

Alhaitham was quicker. He opened the door and pulled the person inside, his sword flashing in the darkness as he put it around his neck. The green glow illuminated the pale face of the man, who swallowed saliva causing his Adam's apple to graze the blade of the sword. By that light alone, it was obvious that he was a middle-aged man whom Kaveh soon recognized as the steward who greeted them at the governor's house.

"Who are coming? How do you know...?" Alhaitham questioned coldly. His arm pressed harder on the man's chest, pinning him in place and making him paler.

Kaveh got up from the bed.

"Haitham, he won't be able to talk if you don't let him breathe," he interrupted.

He was about to approach, but Alhaitham stopped him with a sharp look. Only then did he remember that the dragon was supposed to be there to protect him and they still didn't know who that person was. He stayed in place while Alhaitham loosened his grip just enough for the man to speak. He didn't get to catch his breath he was speaking again, his nervous gaze fixed on Kaveh with a glint of recognition. It was as if he had seen a ghost.

"Your Majesty, I work for Lord Amin," he began to explain quickly. His voice even trembled a little. However, his resolve was firm, "but I am not faithful to him! It seems that Lord Azar discovered something and thinks you are here. He is bringing guards to arrest you."

Kaveh could not see Alhaitham's face, but he did notice how close the blade of the sword came to the man's neck. Even he felt as if he could not breathe all of a sudden.

"It is true that a group is coming," the dragon corroborated for Kaveh before pulling the man only to push him back against the wall. His head echoed as he collided, his expression losing itself into one of pain for an instant. "You were the steward. You recognized him. How do we know you didn't rat him out and want to lure him into a trap?"

"Haitham..."

"I... I wasn't sure before, with the hood," said the man, gritting his teeth. A trickle of blood slipped down his neck and Kaveh unconsciously took a step forward. "I heard they were coming for him and I found out that two of the merchants rented a separate room. Only now... His hair... I want to help you escape!"

Kaveh had been taken for a fool one too many times. After enough, he thought he could recognize the feeling in his stomach when someone was being insincere. At a glance, it was obvious that the man didn't even have weapons with him.

After looking at him more closely, now that he didn't have a hood covering his vision, there was something about his face that looked familiar. Like someone he had seen sometime or other years ago, that he couldn't quite remember, and yet...

"Haitham," Kaveh stepped forward, reaching out for Alhaitham's shoulder. "If it was a trap, why would he come alone? I think he's telling the truth and risking his life to save me." He could feel the tension on Alhaitham from his grip. Could it be that he was really nervous that something might happen to him? It was strange, Kaveh didn't feel a shred of fear. "Even if he tries to take us to the guards, you'd know, wouldn't you?"

Alhaitham turned to Kaveh. The edge tightened just a little more. Sweat poured down the man's face as the gears in Alhaitham's mind spun at full speed. Then, he let go and the man, whose legs were shaking too much to hold him, fell to his knees.

"There is no time. We must go now," he snorted at Kaveh and then his gaze bore venomously into the man. "You'd better not try anything funny or I'll rip your head off with my bare hands."

The man flinched at the warning and didn't even have to think twice before nodding vigorously.

Chapter Text

The streets of the city were silent at night. There wasn't a single soul. No one but Alhaitham could have anticipated a chase in that place. As alert as he was, he let the man lead them through alleys and exits dodging the night guards. That could only mean that his guidance was legitimate and Kaveh couldn't help but feel a little relief in advance knowing that he had been right to trust him.

The man even explained to them that Azar most likely didn't know if they were really there. While he wasn't clear on why he was looking for them in the first place, that was certainly a gamble. If the king had infiltrated the city and made a mess to escape, wouldn't that be a scandal? People who distrusted him would worry that there were spies —well, they were but, the good ones!— and Azar could use that to his advantage. However, if they managed to escape unseen... At best, they would make the soldiers doubt their trust of Azar, or, ultimately, at least not give him another card in their favor. Be that as it may, this was a gamble they had to make him lose.

"Here," the man sighed after a while of running across the city. "Just follow this street and you'll make it to the wall. There is a hole covered by some bushes that leads to the forest. Sir Amin doesn't know it. It should be clear, but you'd better go quickly."

Since Alhaitham seemed unwilling to do so, Kaveh stepped forward with a small smile.

"Thanks for the help... um, what's your name?"

"Javad."

That feeling again.

"Do we know each other...?"

A protective arm wrapped around his shoulders and Kaveh's chest throbbed reflexively. Alhaitham's face was serious again, his teal eyes glowing slightly in the night fixed on a point in the distance.

"We have to go now."

"Oh, right."

Kaveh pretended that the contact with the dragon didn't provoke him anything at all and, to Alhaitham's annoyance, thanked Javad again before leaving.

They walked fast, the night air cutting their faces with each long step, but even Kaveh came to hear the footsteps this time. Had they been found? He couldn't silence their footsteps, not when they were trying to escape for their lives. He knew it must be the adrenaline, but each of their footsteps echoed to him like drums in the night, and surely it would be the same for the guards. His first impulse, like someone being told 'don't look back,' was to turn toward the footsteps following them. He had not turned his face fully that his world twisted.

The arm that had been over his shoulders had come down to his back and, with an ease that only Alhaitham could have, in a second caused Kaveh to stop feeling the floor and find himself pressed against Alhaitham's chest.

"You..." The blood rushed to his face as he realized that Alhaitham was now carrying him like a princess.

Of course, Alhaitham didn't even glance at him, his jaw clenched in concentration. With steps as light as a feather, he covered three blocks in a few seconds and, in an instant, they were in front of the wall.

"I think I saw something!," exclaimed a muffled voice from one of the streets intersecting theirs. It couldn't be far away, maybe a block. "That way!"

Alhaitham ran quickly along the wall, trying to find the hole behind the bushes, so thick that they covered much of the wall. Kaveh peered as well, his eyes scanning every part of the green anxiously. He couldn't let the guards see even a fraction of them. He couldn't complicate things any further. The footsteps were already about to turn the corner. If this...

More than seeing it, he felt it. A small gust of wind, almost imperceptible, brushed his nerve-charged skin.

"Haitham-"

It only took one word for the dragon to understand. Kaveh held his breath and, a second before the guards stepped onto the street, they plunged into the darkness of the wall of plants.

"Let's go that way!," the voice called, coming directly toward them.

Kaveh's heart stopped in his chest.

They were already outside.

He tugged at Alhaitham's clothes, about to suggest they go into the forest. Then, their gazes met and something in the teal eyes answered him.

He gritted his teeth.

A few seconds later, the footsteps turned parallel to the wall and moved away, chasing the trail of a ghost.

They made it.

Kaveh was finally able to let out the breath he'd been holding and his mind went a little numb from the adrenaline still flowing through his system. It was as if suddenly all the attention he had been putting into escaping was focused on unnecessary details. Like on how easily his body adjusted to being in Alhaitham's arms, or on remembering that Alhaitham used to carry him like this just before taking him to bed and...

Kaveh gave a strong push to the dragon's firm chest.

"Put me down already!"

As if he had surprised himself too, Alhaitham lowered his arms all at once and Kaveh barely managed to hold himself up so as not to fall on his ass. How easily his embarrassment turned to incredulous anger.

"Hey-!"

He was about to complain, just to be pushed against the wall, a hand covering his mouth. He looked up with his heart pounding at the ridiculousness of the situation. Of course, Alhaitham wasn't even looking at him, his eyes fixed on the hole in the wall. Very much unlike thst, his body was very interested in pressing Kaveh against the wall, one of his legs brushing the space between his thighs intimately.

If it weren't for the fact that he was just trying to shut him up for the thousandth time in the night.

Couldn't they have a single conversation like the adults they were?!

A few seconds later, the new sound of running footsteps followed the previous ones, leading away from them.

He hadn't noticed.

He stood for a moment longer, though this time it was impossible for him to concentrate on looking for noises from the other side of the wall, silent as it was, when on that side his body was throbbing at Alhaitham's proximity. It didn't do much good that he put his hand on Alhaitham's chest —according to him, to try to push him away. Only according to him, because he never pushed—. The warm breath brushing against his cheek, the heat of his body mingling with his own, the heart pounding like mad under his hand.

He didn't think about it at the time. He simply wanted Alhaitham to pull away.

He stuck out his tongue and ran it across Alhaitham's palm, the defiance clear in his eyes.

It was like magic.

At last, Alhaitham looked at him. His eyes widened, turbulent with things Kaveh could not decipher. A shiver ran through his body and he could think no more.

The moment Alhaitham raised his hand, they lunged at each other and their lips met in the middle.

Now Kaveh was caught against the wall and it could no longer bother him anymore that Alhaitham's whole body was holding him in place. Instead, he arched forward to meet it, every curve and every stroke as familiar as if not a day had passed since the last time. Oh, just the brush of their lips was like fire spreading through their bodies, moving them to seek _more._

Suddenly, they became gasps, mouths refusing to come unglued with no concern for breathing and hands exploring with an eager need.

Alhaitham growled softly, as he used to do when he wanted Kaveh so badly he had to express it somehow.

They needed each other.

Kaveh needed Alhaitham. So much.

Alhaitham's hands moved down to his thighs and Kaveh wrapped his legs around Alhaitham's waist, hooking with him to grind against each other. A moan escaped from between their kisses as he felt the all too familiar bulge brush against his sensitive crotch and, gods, he could have given himself up right there against the city wall. He wouldn't be the king, he wouldn't be anyone but Kaveh, desiring, longing, perhaps even lov...

"Did you find anything?!"

He froze.

"No! Over there?"

Alhaitham pulled away slightly, his teal eyes seemed to glow in the night. They were always like that. At some point, Kaveh thought he would need light no more, as long as he had Alhaitham's eyes. His crotch rubbed against Kaveh's unwillingly and Kaveh's breath hitched.

"Let's keep looking!"

The footsteps he hadn't gotten to hear a moment ago drifted away again and only the sounds of the forest continued insistent in his ears.

Those and the sound of his heart pumping as if it were about to explode. It didn't help to be aware that Alhaitham could hear it too.

He could hear that, but he didn't realize the guards were approaching.

"Maybe we should go back," Kaveh whispered and, to his embarrassment, his voice was already hoarse.

Alhaitham's eyes lowered, just a glance at Kaveh's lips before returning to his eyes.

"Yes."

As if nothing had happened, their bodies untangled from each other, left to face the change in temperature on their own.

Ah, Kaveh had never been so cold.

-

Something went wrong. A few hundred meters before the camp, Alhaitham realized that they had changed location. From what he could hear, there was no longer anyone where they had previously set up, and it was enough for them to arrive to confirm that there were traces of a battle.

Although there were no bodies, blood stained the trampled ground here and there.

Kaveh was already feeling dizzy from the long journey without rest. That sight finished making him sick, his chest tightening with anxiety. Maybe there was no body out there, but if they searched a little further, among the trees... Suddenly, he found it hard to breathe and Alhaitham pulled him aside and sat him away from the camp and then examined the place again.

"Where are they?" Kaveh asked when he saw Alhaitham return. The other question was implicit in his eyes.

Alhaitham shook his head.

"There is no one. They must have taken the wounded." Wounded. He must had been using that word on purpose instead of a much more frightening one. "They must have moved closer to the city."

Morning was rising as usual, oblivious to the battle that had taken place there.

"Can you stand up?"

The sun breaking through the tree branches to reach him felt good.

"It's all right. I can walk."

If the sun knew what happened, would it have blamed him for his guilt in all this? Would it have deprived him of his light? Or would it have burned his skin until he got sick and died?

"Don't be ridiculous. You are trembling. Come, I'll carry you."

"Haitham..."

The dragon ignored him and, in an instant, Kaveh found himself trapped by Alhaitham's arms. He carried him from the front, causing his thighs to encircle Alhaitham's waist and his chin to rest on his shoulder, so close to his neck. He could smell the soft scent of old books. That idiot hadn't even broken a sweat the whole way, very unlike Kaveh.

"Don't complain too loudly. We don't know if there was a spy left to watch the place."

"Ugh," Kaveh grunted, but he held still. There was no point in trying to get loose when Alhaitham had enough strength to hold him in place anyway.

Alhaitham's arms felt as good as sunbeams. Even through his pounding heart, they invited him to rest. He didn't. After what happened because of him, that didn't deserve it either.

-

They found the camp in less than an hour. Alhaitham was fast when he wanted to be. It was almost as fast as traveling on horseback and would probably be more if it weren't for the fact that he was carrying Kaveh.

Cyno was the first to approach, concern clear on his face when he saw that Kaveh wasn't walking on his own.

Kaveh hurried down.

Tighnari followed his partner and tried to examine him.

Kaveh dismissed it with an 'I'm fine'.

Instead, his gaze went to the bandage Cyno had on his arm. It didn't look too bad, but it was Cyno. Kaveh had never seen a scratch on him, no matter how many missions he did. His stomach churned.

"How is everyone? What happened?"

"We'll tell you inside when you let me check on you," Tighnari insisted, stopping Cyno from answering.

Kaveh was already too exhausted to argue with anyone more stubborn than him, so he let them take him to one of the makeshift tents. There were only two tents, a small one and a large one where Kaveh assumed the wounded were. Tighnari continued to examine him as they explained the situation.

It appeared that Azar's people were stationed waiting for Kaveh to return to the capital. They must have had some spies who detected the army. Then, they waited for the deep night to approach and even Cyno's perception was not enough to avoid the encounter. Their target was clear, they aimed directly at the tent where the king had been. Cyno knew that Kaveh was no longer there, of course, but they didn't, so he defended the tent, using it to concentrate the soldiers in one place and buy time for Kaveh and Alhaitham. That cost him a wound.

"There are some wounded, but nothing too serious," Cyno tried to reassure him. "And you?"

Kaveh summarized the situation.

"So after they didn't find you here, Azar bet that you could have gone to the city," Cyno concluded.

"Some of the guards last night could have been on his side," Alhaitham added with his arms crossed. "They could have seen me leave and not return. That would have been enough to make him suspicious enough to try to look for us after seeing that neither Kaveh nor I were here."

"It's a possibility," Cyno agreed, rising from his place. "We must hurry back. Afterwards, I'll question them all. Will you be able to travel?"

Kaveh closed his eyes tightly, trying to wipe away the throbbing headache he was beginning to feel. Did he deserve this too?

"Yes," Kaveh opened his eyes and controlled his voice, "It's better to go back now."

Cyno nodded and left the tent. Tighnari patted Kaveh as if to encourage him and then left behind his partner. They probably had to organize the soldiers and how they would transfer of the wounded.

With all that on top of him, even now that they were alone in the tent, Kaveh didn't feel like talking about what had happened between Alhaitham and him. It felt wrong. People had gotten hurt in his place while he had been...

"I told you that going to the city was unreasonable," Alhaitham began, his voice so flat and cold that Kaveh wanted to cover his ears and scream, "but if we hadn't gone, you might have gotten hurt here. Of course, you can't do what you want just because..."

"It wasn't... just my instinct," Kaveh complained through gritted teeth, ignoring Alhaitham's gaze.

"Hm? Did you know something?"

Kaveh opened his mouth to speak. Instantly, he imagined Alhaitham's face when he told him that his other support was a dream. Kaveh was not as unreasonable as everyone wanted to make him out to be. He wouldn't risk it just for a dream. But how could he explain how real it felt, the conviction it gave him? That voice tucked him in like it was his mother so long ago and told him he would be fine. Not a word came out.

What does it matter, what does it matter. _He_ was fine, but more people would continue to get hurt because of him as long as this conflict continued. That's what he had to think about.

Alhaitham brought his hand closer and placed it over Kaveh's, stopping the trembling he hadn't noticed.

"It's not your fault, Kaveh."

Really, whose else would it be? Only he was the, oh, almighty king.

"I know."

He couldn't accept that consolation either.

Chapter Text

Before leaving the palace, Cyno had tasked some subordinates to make sure that there were no Azar people left in the palace. The work they had done so far was nothing compared to this one.

The discovery of the traitor among Cyno's men was like a chain. Thanks to Cyno's superb interrogation —Kaveh was grateful that he was on his side—, they were discovering one by one the seeds that Azar had left planted in the palace.

And Kaveh had to tell himself that it didn't matter that there were people who wanted him dead in the palace because he couldn't afford to let it get to him.

If Kaveh had learned anything in that time, it was that he was not as alone as he thought.

Perhaps because they trusted the king to emerge victorious from that confrontation, some governors and nobles still obeyed his orders. And where what he said was done, some people still believed in him.

On the other hand, the recent rebellion near the desert had attempted to take the border town. Of course, they didn't end up succeeding, but it drew Kaveh's attention to how he was getting almost no news from the desert. It was supposed to be part of Sumeru, but it also seemed that people from one side and the other didn't mix with each other. He hadn't thought about it until then. There were no cities taken in the desert, so why was there an uprising?

Kaveh gave it a thought and figured something.

Perhaps there was a reason why there had been no cities taken in the desert and Kaveh, in his ignorance, had been remiss as well thinking that no news was the same as good news.

The next step was to approach the people from whom he could still receive support. At this point, more than ever, he had to convince everyone that he could help people and keep his politicians happy. He didn't quite believe it himself, for he was far from perfect. However, the results would speak for him, wouldn't they?

He would hang in there.

He had never done anything to gather the people behind him, had he?

Now, he would reach out and pretend he was sure they would follow.

"Let's set up a dinner."

-

"Don't you think it's strange?" Alhaitham asked.

Kaveh was sitting on the couch going over some documents left for him. The last thing he expected was for Alhaitham to appear out of nowhere, book in hand, to ask him such a vague question.

They hadn't talked about what happened in Vimara, either because Kaveh was always busy or because, when he looked for Alhaitham during the day, he couldn't find him anywhere. Of course, that discomfort in Kaveh's stomach now that he saw Alhaitham was intensified a thousand times. He squirmed in the seat, wondering if they would talk about it now.

"What is it?"

"Lesser Lord Kusanali." Turns out Kaveh was starting to get used to the deception, because he was even curious about his point. "All the other nations have their ruler. She is the ruler of a kingdom that has long been ruled by incompetent leaders. You'd think the goddess of wisdom wouldn't let her kingdom go under without lending a hand. And people just accept that she's not there, to the point where normal people don't even revere her."

The 'incompetent leaders' thing affected him more than he wanted to let on. Something in him recognized the title as his own. What was he but one of those abandoned by the goddess of wisdom?

Was that why Alhaitham pretended nothing happened?

"What's wrong with that?" Unable to restrain himself, Kaveh attacked, "Do you think Lesser Lord Kusanali doesn't consider us worthy of her wisdom?"

That I do not deserve her wisdom.

Alhaitham looked up from his book to arch an eyebrow in Kaveh's direction.

"Wherever you look, all archons share their ideals with their people. Freedom, justice, and so on. If you were the god of wisdom, would you keep the knowledge to yourself?"

It did not escape Kaveh's notice that he didn't entirely deny his implied question. He shook his head anyway.

Looking at it that way, it was strange.

"You're asking that to the one who made education free in Sumeru?"

"Exactly," Alhaitham nodded. "I assume you didn't have the pleasure of meeting her either."

"...Well, no." He was embarrassed to admit it, so it came out more defensive than he intended to be.

"Hm."

Alhaitham went back to his book as if it were nothing.

Something seemed to want to draw Kaveh's attention to it, but he couldn't quite figure out what, and the question stuck in his mind all day.

Why?

It was only natural then that, when Alhaitham asked if he could see the Akademiya's private records, Kaveh followed him.

More than an hour passed without finding anything specific when, among the endless shelves, Kaveh found a book that caught his eye.

Not that the book itself was striking. The back was blue, opaque and the letters were blurred. Nor did it help that it was among other books with dark backs. No, it was just the title. 'The Cosmic Code'. It was an astrology book.

Kaveh pulled it off the shelf instantly.

Kaveh was just learning to read at the time and wanted to prove himself with everything he came across. His father, with a cocked smile, sat him on his lap and pointed to the cover.

'Now, read this.'

And when Kaveh read the title, he opened the book to some random chapter.

Poor little Kaveh frowned and struggled with the words. There was too much he didn't know, but he struggled anyway and his father had a few chuckles until his mother came and pulled him out of his torture.

'You'll be able to read it when you're older,' his father said, shaking his hair.

If that wasn't a sentence that could hold something in a child's memory, nothing was.

Kaveh felt his heart warm a little and opened the book, flipping through it. It was hard to see it when it was closed. It wasn't until it fell out as he turned the page that Kaveh discovered the piece of paper hidden between the pages.

He picked it up without much thought. It was folded in half and Kaveh hesitated for a moment. Could it be some annotation his father left? Kaveh didn't remember his handwriting. The thought of seeing it excited him, as if he had found another part of him twenty years later. No, why would the book be in the private records? Kaveh opened the note.

It was short, in a handwriting Kaveh didn't recognize.

'Time is running out. You will have to make up your mind soon. You know there is no other way, it is either him or the kingdom.'

No date, no sender, nothing specific.

Yet it was obvious from the worn paper and ink that it had been there for a long time. That was his father's book, that was a note to his father.

And the situation he was referring to....

Kaveh felt himself turn pale the exact moment the world wavered.

"Haitham," he called out in a whisper.

How stupid he was.

He'd told himself it was okay, that he didn't have to take responsibility for what his father did or didn't do. He was trying on his own, he had managed to help people on his own. And, yet, he floundered with the world.

It wasn't his place to do good or not. He shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Kaveh began to wonder why his legs were shaking, why the air was escaping his lungs, why his heart was beating so fast.

There was a hollow sound as he couldn't take it anymore and dropped to the ground in a crouch.

Maybe he would die right there and not have to worry about anyone finding out what his father had done and —by extension— what Kaveh had caused. And gods, it was no use telling himself that no one would kill for the innocent request of a child. He had suggested it and then people had died.

He couldn't understand what Alhaitham was saying through the blood pumping like a torrent in his ears, but there he was. And Kaveh clung to that presence as one who clings to life itself.

You don't want to kill anyone in this stupid war? Look at the little hypocrite.

The tiny frown on Alhaitham's brow that he made whenever Kaveh lamented over something that wasn't his fault. If it wasn't his fault, why was he the one being punished?

Sitting from your own blood-stained throne.

Alhaitham was calling his name. His voice was still muffled, but Kaveh understood what he meant as if by reflex.

He hated, hated, hated.

He struggled to steady his breathing, following the rhythm Alhaitham set. The dark spots in his vision slowly disappeared.

"It's okay," Alhaitham whispered, his voice in that soft tone Kaveh thought he would never hear again. The caress on his hair made him shiver. "You're doing fine."

Except he wasn't. That was the damn problem.

He was breathing well again, but that didn't take away the uneasiness. That was information he should never have known. It was as if the world couldn't ever stabilize again, like a weight on his shoulders that he could never get off his shoulders anymore.

An ever-present whisper that became a clear voice.

"I think my father killed my uncle to make himself king," he blurted. It sounded strange in his mouth, something he had never wanted to assimilate. "It's my fault, Haitham."

Say no.

"Why do you say that?" Alhaitham asked instead.

So Kaveh pointed to the piece of paper that had fallen from his hands and watched with his heart in his mouth as Alhaitham read it, the mechanisms spinning in his mind as he came to the same conclusion as he did.

And as he watched the slight change in Alhaitham's expression, when he saw him part his lips to speak, he felt a shiver run down his spine and stopped him in mid-voice.

"I don't want this."

His throat was clogged with a lump. It hurt to speak. It hurt to admit those words because he would have to keep moving forward no matter what he wanted.

"Haitham, I don't want any of this." He closed his eyes tightly. He didn't want to hear himself, didn't want Alhaitham to see the expression he must have on his face, but if he didn't let go now, when? "It's... I'm horrible. If I could, I'd leave. But I can't. I wish I'd left with you sooner and... and I'm a bad person for wanting to abandon those I helped, aren't I? Haitham, can I only leave if I die?"

There it was again. Alhaitham held his face in his hands, soft and sweet in the way Kaveh knew he didn't deserve. He squeezed his eyes tighter.

"Kaveh, look at me," he asked.

Kaveh did, and when he met Alhaitham's gaze, there was hesitation in it. His heart squeezed. Was it because of him? Was Alhaitham doubting him? His ability, his regret. No, he might even be doubting how much he deserved that throne. Gods, Kaveh knew it wasn't his and yet he feared what would happen if he let it go. Wasn't he an idiot? He hoped Alhaitham would tell him he was an idiot.

"Kaveh, I..."

It sounded like something important. Kaveh had never heard Alhaitham so unsure about something he wanted to say. However.

"Your Majesty?"

If he had to use an adjective to describe himself, he wouldn't think twice about saying 'unlucky'.

He got up at once, fixing his expression for the scholar who had come to see if he could be of any help to them (not much). In the end they found nothing special about the Lesser Lord Kusanali.

Later, Kaveh remembered that Alhaitham never got to finish his sentence and asked him about it. Alhaitham did not blink as he told him:

"I will investigate about your father."

Kaveh would have wanted to tell him no, that he didn't want to know about it. That he wished someone could beat him until he forgot so he could live more peacefully. But he doubted he could forget it so easily and he was also a curious person, with a terrifying memory for holding on to things he didn't want to remember, so he sighed and said something along the lines of "as long as it's no bother."

-

It was hard to rest at all after that.

He was a usurper, and as such, he didn't deserve to be on the throne, but since he couldn't just quit, he just had to work until he passed out to make up for even a modicum of what his father had done.

The only time he allowed himself was lunch, and just barely.

His plate was still half full when he heard the servants running down the hallway, shouting at each other as if they couldn't contain themselves. And it was very obvious why when one blurted out:

"Come, come quickly! Lest the General defeat that Fatui Harbinger before we get there!"

The food fell off his fork and he jumped up.

Forget about eating too.

He had never made it all the way to the exit so fast.

It was already crowded then.

In the middle of the entrance, water and lightning were dueling, and despite the elemental disadvantage of the Fatui Harbinger, he wasn't far behind General Mahamatra, no matter how close they fought. A lance sent the Fatui Harbinger reeling back and Kaveh didn't think twice about running towards them.

"Stop it!"

The Harbinger's attention turned back to him for only a second and Cyno took the opportunity to leap backwards to stand in front of him. The sight must have been a bit curious, indeed. Cyno was having a hard time shielding him with his height difference.

"Your Majesty, you shouldn't get into a fight like this," the General complained. "Please back off."

This time, he ended up catching the attention of the Harbinger, who focused his blue eyes on him. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. The man's, however, were an abyss.

"Your Majesty!" he greeted with a smile. "I had hoped to have the pleasure of meeting you, after this friendly fight with your General was over."

Ah, that was a bit... Why did Kaveh get the feeling that the fight had nothing to do with the getting to know each other part?

Kaveh did his confident posture because people were still watching and smiled back anyway.

"I'm already here. Let's skip the fighting part."

The Harbinger didn't seem too thrilled about that, actually, and hesitated for a moment, but in the end he undid his water polearm and that encouraged Kaveh to ask:

"What is the reason for your visit? Depending on this, you're going to get an appointment sooner or later."

Of course, he was just saying that to make it look like it was all in his control. As a diplomat from another country, he would have to give it priority. Especially if he was a Harbinger of the Fatui of Snezhnaya. Kaveh had already heard of their reputation. He certainly didn't want to keep him waiting for too long, lest he got into any more 'friendly fights'.

"Oh, yes," the redhead did speak with real confidence, as if this was nothing, even after making all that show and bringing him more trouble than he was already in. Kaveh felt a little envious, but he had to keep his expression composed. "I came to ask for your hand."

"In that case, I suppose in a few days..." he began his prepared response, only to have the Harbinger's words come crashing down on him like a brick wall. "Wait, what?"

Just like that, all of a sudden, the king got a suitor?

Chapter Text

"I'll think about it," Kaveh mumbled, hating to know that, if he believed this man, his answer was actually already decided. He just wanted to put it off a little longer, to deny it a little longer. "In the meantime, I'll have a room prepared for you." He stood up, avoiding Cyno's gaze, "If you want to fight someone next time, I'll expect you to do it in the training camp. I don't want people to think we're in conflict with the Fatui too."

Tartaglia, his now esteemed guest, still had that casual air about him even after his proposal was put up in the air.

"Don't worry about that, Your Majesty."

Kaveh left for the exit because he couldn't let go of the pressure of everything he had to keep doing for the day other than considering Tartaglia's proposal with Cyno. He had been informed that the rebellion on the desert border would soon take the city if they did not send more reinforcements.

He stepped out without seeing and nearly crashed into a broad chest.

Those familiar teal eyes met his when he looked up. For a dragon, his gaze couldn't have been colder.

"Be careful where you walk," Kaveh complained, crossing his arms.

Alhaitham had no reason to stare at him like that, it annoyed him. He still had the nerve to ignore him and crane his neck to look into the room where Tartaglia seemed to be chatting with Cyno. Or, rather, Cyno was interrogating him and Tartaglia was trying to invite him to continue the fight. As if by instinct, Tartaglia turned and their gazes met. A spark of interest crossed Tartaglia's blue eyes and he moved past Cyno to approach them.

"Your Majesty, who is your friend?," he asked, scrutinizing Alhaitham slyly.

Alhaitham took a step forward. It was supposed to make him more threatening to Tartaglia, but that left him inches away from Kaveh, brushing his arm as he was put behind him. Kaveh's anger wavered severely.

"I am Alhaitham, Kaveh's personal guard. Who are you?"

There were too many things wrong with that introduction! Why did he feel that Alhaitham was picking a fight...? He really smelled like he wanted to rip Tartaglia's head off right there for no particular reason (huh? Where did that thought come from?).

"Ex-personal guard," Kaveh hastened to correct, glaring at him as he wrinkled his nose.

"Tartaglia, His Majesty's suitor," the Fatui introduced himself (they were going to go through with it then). Behind his friendly smile was a challenge, testing Alhaitham's reaction. "You must be the dragon who looked after His Majesty when he lived in the palace. I heard you were gone. So you came back."

Alhaitham grunted under his breath, without comment. Even that reaction was already more of a response than could normally be expected from Alhaitham and made Kaveh raise an eyebrow. There was something about Alhaitham standing in front of him in a protective stance with that menacing aura around him, as if... that wasn't supposed to make him feel that special way.

"Snezhnaya didn't take part in the battles in the palace," Tartaglia continued and Kaveh had a feeling he already knew what was coming, "Why don't we check how it would have come out in a one on one?"

Yes. A pain in the ass.

Besides, why did Alhaitham seem willing to accept his challenge?

His temple pulsed again as he refused to accept the answer his mind wanted to suggest. It was only wishful thinking. He couldn't go on like that.

"I have work to do," Kaveh mumbled, rubbing his temples, and passed them by.

If they were going to fight, they could at least do it out of his sight, thank you very much.

-

"Your Majesty," Cyno was still in work mode when they met to discuss what to do about Tartaglia. "You're not considering Childe's proposal, are you?"

The quill in Kaveh's hand swung back and forth, averting his gaze as far away from Cyno's as possible.

"Is he strong?," he ignored the question as well.

"Of course he is," the General didn't sound too happy to admit it. "But..."

"But he's hiding something," Kaveh finished for him, stopping the pen, clenching it in his fist. "You know. Even with the forces we have, we're not going to win without bloodshed. Just... the better we are, the faster it will be over."

And that was one thing about Kaveh that would never allow him to be at peace as king.

If he had had the chance to save just one more person and had done nothing to try, he could not live with himself. And the gods knew he didn't want to carry one more ounce of guilt.

"We'll deal with whatever it is if it turns out to be harmful. The important thing is that he wants to fight and we'll let him," he concluded.

"Hmph, so that's it, Your Majesty?" As usual, Alhaitham had a horrible habit of not knocking on the door and getting into conversations he wasn't invited to. "Are you going to let him court you for a battle?"

And, as always after he got caught in the middle of their discussion about the stupid diary, Cyno had a lousy habit of running away as soon as he was alone with Alhaitham and Kaveh.

"You..." Kaveh was already gritting his teeth in anger, so it's not like he'd noticed. "You don't need to say it like that."

Alhaitham glared at him, his narrowed eyes analyzing him with annoyance, and, for a moment, Kaveh thought he was going to ask, or demand an explanation —because they had kissed and it had been...something that filled Kaveh's nights every day, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it was nothing more than a lapse of judgement—, something. But no.

Alhaitham sighed and turned his back on him.

"I'm not your guardian dragon anymore, so I'm not going to mess with whoever wants to marry you."

As if he had grown tired of him. As if there was no point in even discussing his stupid decisions. As if whatever he did had nothing to do with Alhaitham.

As if it was only Kaveh who wanted, desperately... No, that sentiment didn't even make sense.

Alhaitham said nothing more before he left, but Kaveh spotted it, unable to take his eyes off him. His muscles tensed, his fists clenched at his sides, and, in particular, the drop of blood that trickled between his fingers where his fingernails tore at his skin before he was lost down the hallway.

And oh.

It could have been anything.

Still, Kaveh wished, and, even if he quelled his mind with a thousand and one ideas during the day, there was no one and nothing to quiet his imagination during the night.

-

Kaveh was supposed to be working, sitting in his office with some reports in front of him. Supposed was the key word. Every movement he made in his chair was meant to find the best position to distract himself from the burning sensation between his legs. Ultimately, if every now and then there was a friction that caused his cock to twitch, it wasn't on purpose. And, all in all, when his hand brushed his thighs, he wasn't imagining how it felt when Alhaitham spread his legs and got in between. Nor did he have in mind how easily he would have given in and let Alhaitham fuck him against the city wall.

Of course not.

Kaveh hadn't felt any kind of desire for months.

Not since Alhaitham fucked him on the throne and nearly split him in half anyway.

He didn't get to hold back the moan that followed that memory, nor the irrepressible desire to go back in time and beg Alhaitham to destroy him. And he had to go back in time. He could never ask him for something like that now, not when he wouldn't even allow himself to touch himself thinking of Alhaitham.

This was all happening because his mind was not making sense.

Because Alhaitham showed up so quickly —Kaveh was under the illusion that he went looking for them directly after hearing about Tartaglia's statement— just to confront the Fatui, as if he wanted to prove something. And then he left without arguing with Kaveh —which should have put an end to any fantasy—, but in truth he was so furious that he made his hands bleed.

It made sense for him to let Tartaglia court him, because he was going to help him. It was the logical thing to do. A king had no business marrying for love.

And yet Alhaitham was angry with him.

There had to be a reason, there had to be a different reason, but he couldn't find it, so if Kaveh imagined Alhaitham lifting Tartaglia by the neck with that hand, proving to him that Kaveh needed only him.... and then it occurred to him that it would be a thousand times sexier if Alhaitham had retraced his steps to wrap those fingers around his neck, pin him against the wall and make sure to wedge his leg in between Kaveh's so he couldn't escape when he pressed their lips together and Kaveh opened his mouth because, with that hand on his neck, he'd be afraid he couldn't breathe...

Kaveh felt his entrance contract around nothingness just for that. He was so eager for Alhaitham to fill him again, willing to claim every part of him so that no one else would try to steal him again, that he almost felt himself getting wet as if he were a woman.

Alhaitham was a fucking idiot, an idiot who had no reason to fuck him so well.

He ruined him.

Kaveh went months without any kind of desire only to have Alhaitham reawaken that feeling with his stupid kiss and his stupid show of possessiveness, leaving him so horny he thought he'd go crazy if he didn't touch himself right then and there. There was no way he could concentrate on the reports.

It was so unfair.

There was no use patting himself on the pants.

And he was still in the office, but... no one was coming in at those hours, so it was okay, right?

(None of this was okay, actually.)

In a futile last-minute effort, he tried to imagine that it was someone else asking him to take off his pants at that moment. Not Alhaitham. He tried to imagine the furthest person from Alhaitham possible and Tartaglia flashed through his mind. That was his fault too, in the end. It wasn't as if Tartaglia was unattractive.

His cock was already red, leaking pre-cum, so he closed his eyes and leaned back against the chair. In his imagination, he was leaning against Tartaglia, sitting on his lap, and the Harbinger would whisper words of love in his ear.

Alhaitham would do that sometimes, when he didn't want to overstimulate him. He would tangle his fingers with Kaveh's and slowly jerk him off, letting Kaveh grind his ass against Alhaitham's erections as if he wanted them to fill him. He could still remember the feel of Alhaitham's cocks against his ass, how they fit so perfectly in the middle of his cheeks. More than once they ended up wrapped with each other anyway. They wanted each other so badly they couldn't help it.

He reflexively spread his legs wide, always so willing to give himself up because Kaveh wanted the wrong person so badly now that he felt that twinge inside him again.

There was a spot between his legs before Kaveh took pre-cum from his erection and pressed a finger against his entrance. It entered instantly, sucked in as if he needed it —he did. Then there was another finger and another and another and it was easy to stretch. It felt good.

His last effort was as futile as trying to put out a forest fire with a glass of water. Tartaglia could be as attractive as he wanted, but when Kaveh bit his lips, it was to hold back the urge to call for Alhaitham.

It felt so good and yet he wanted more.

All he had to do before was spread his legs. Alhaitham would fill him so well that it would erase all his worries. In those moments, he didn't have to be the prince, or the king. He didn't even have to be Kaveh if he didn't want to. He could just be a good hole for Alhaitham's cocks.

Oh.

It was there.

Kaveh focused on his prostate, rubbing the spot fast, hard. It wasn't the same, but his mind conjured Alhaitham and that was enough for pleasure to hit him at last. His head jerked back and he groaned between his tight lips, sliding off the back of the chair in little convulsions.

For an instant, it was okay.

He'd really been ruined.

He wanted, wanted, wanted.

Yet, this time, Alhaitham wasn't there to satisfy him.

-

That week, Kaveh visited the training camp several times. Tartaglia didn't cause much more trouble, fortunately, but Kaveh thought he had to get to know him a bit before making a decision on his proposal, and he didn't have all the time in the world.

That day, the sun was high in the sky and the clouds were nothing more than bits of cotton.

Kaveh made one last, pitiful attempt as he watched Tartaglia train absentmindedly. Sweat made his skin glow and it looked good on him. When he fought, there was a glint in his eyes that Kaveh had not seen before, striking, attractive. It made him wonder how he had come to become the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. In spite of everything, he still did not want him.

As soon as he saw him, Tartaglia greeted him with a smile and approached, but that glow had disappeared once again. Kaveh watched him reach for a bottle of water.

"Why?," he asked, unable to stop himself at last.

Tartaglia reached for the bottle he was looking for.

"Why what?" The red-haired man looked at him curiously.

"Why do you like fighting so much?"

Tartaglia didn't even think about it before answering.

"Because it makes me feel alive," he said simply.

Kaveh didn't take his eyes off him as he drank water. They were different then.

"I hate it," Kaveh admitted quietly.

The thought of fighting the way Tartaglia had fought in his life made him anxious, it was a pressure in his chest and a tightness in his stomach that made him want to die rather than try. He was not as strong as the Harbinger.

Tartaglia's smile became a little softer.

"Your Majesty, sometimes confrontation can't be avoided. If you are going to be attacked anyway, it is best to be prepared to fight. Even if you hate it."

Kaveh blinked. It was strange for a stranger's words to affect him like this, after ignoring it for so long.

Tartaglia had come all the way from Snezhnaya to fight his battle for him. And he was so sure there would be a battle as well.

Kaveh could deny it all he wanted, but the resolution of the conflict was already set in stone.

"You seem like the type to not let the others even get to consider attacking you and you're already at their throats," Kaveh joked, letting the idea settle at the edges of his mind.

Tartaglia shrugged with a laugh.

"If you want to live, you have to fight," he resolved. "I'm just speeding up the process a bit."

Kaveh smiled for a moment and then his gaze hardened.

"You're not here just for that, are you?"

Tartaglia's gaze wandered for a moment.

"I have to look for something in Sumeru," he admitted, causing Kaveh to raise an eyebrow. "But don't worry about that. It won't affect you at all."

Tartaglia at no time tensed or abandoned his casual demeanor. This type of person was dangerous. He could be lying to his face, that's what the Fatui did. That's what everyone wanted to do with Kaveh ever since he arrived at the royal palace. And yet, amidst all this air of danger from Tartaglia, Kaveh had a feeling he could trust his words.

"So, will you accept?"

Kaveh pretended to think about it, but a half-smile was already spreading across his lips as he averted his 'condescending' gaze from Tartaglia:

"You'll have to try harder if you want my hand officially."

However, his eyes caught a familiar figure and he frowned.

Tartaglia followed his gaze, catching the silhouette of the gray-haired man in the distance. That glow again.

"There's still the final boss, hm?"

And that was so silly that Kaveh shook his head with a laugh. It didn't even hurt that much when he told himself that Alhaitham would never fight for him.

"Let's just leave it at I accept." 

Chapter Text

The next time Kaveh went to the training camp, Tartaglia was nowhere to be seen. It was strange. Tartaglia was the type who couldn't set foot outside the training camp so, after waiting a few minutes, Kaveh approached one of the knights to ask.

"Didn't you hear, Your Majesty?" The knight frowned slightly. "Nobile is in the infirmary."

Kaveh: ...

He thought there was no fucking way Tartaglia was hurt. Much less injured enough for him to skip a day of training.

Then he walked into the infirmary and the redhead's arms were wrapped in bandages, yet he didn't seem to mind as he was warming up like he was going for a run.

"Your Majesty, I see you're still well," he said when he saw him, raising his hand to greet him casually.

Kaveh: ...

Whoever had the guts to fight Tartaglia and send him to the infirmary, couldn't he marry them better?

"I thought Cyno refused to fight you," Kaveh mumbled, already feeling his head throbbing.

Tartaglia hummed. "The General refused," he acknowledged with a nod and then added matter-of-factly, "I fought with your dragon."

Kaveh: ......

That was so ridiculous that Kaveh put his hand on Tartaglia's forehead to check for fever. He was fine, unlike Kaveh with the headache that had already settled behind his eyes.

"What do you mean, you fought?" He asked at last. "And... is Alhaitham all right?"

"Well, we actually talked." Tartaglia tsked as if he was disappointed. "He wasn't fighting with all his might, so he ended up with some injuries too, but he left after they bandaged him up."

Kaveh didn't know whether to be relieved that Alhaitham had left on his own two feet —which meant it wasn't that bad— or angry that he left on his own two feet instead of resting —leaving Kaveh with no idea how he was doing—. He could do both at the same time.

Alhaitham wasn't around, so it was Tartaglia's turn to face his scowl and cold tone:

"And what's so important that you'd risk getting hurt when we have the dinner just around the corner?"

And the battle couldn't be far off so soon, with the way things were progressing.

Tartaglia offered him an apologetic smile. It flanked just a moment, so small that Kaveh thought he had imagined it.

"Sorry, I can't say no to an interesting duel when I get the chance. But don't worry! I'll be fine in no time. Didn't you know that Hydro Vision holders heal even faster than other Vision holders?"

Why would Alhaitham challenge Tartaglia to a duel?

Kaveh's mind conjured up the image of Alhaitham shielding him, how angry he was when Kaveh said he would accept Tartaglia's help.

Hurting an ally certainly wasn't a logical thing to do.

Even further back, for someone who placed so much weight on logic, Alhaitham made no sense.

He was going to ask —to scold him, if not—, but he didn't see Alhaitham. In the days that followed, the border rebellion took Caravan Ribat and he had no more head left to remember it anyway.

-

It was ridiculous to Kaveh to organize a dinner when he had people clamoring for him to abdicate and a heavy debt hanging over his head. No matter what he thought, he had to do it. Nobles and governors loved a bit of fun while talking about stressful matters like politics. The king had been all rules and no invitations to the royal palace for dinner. And, at the end of the day, it was another way to pretend he had everything under control.

Even if the investments in the party were more or less few, the royal palace was still the royal palace and its lavish appearance served its purpose. Everything was impeccable for dinner.

The king invited everyone he would invite to a royal celebration, but his representatives from the desert were the ones he most expected to see.

So, the king closed his eyes and let himself be fixed up.

A little makeup to erase the dark circles under his eyes, to cover his stress and anxiety. Nice clothes, worthy of a king, to hide his faults. Seen in front of the mirror like this, he was like a glowing figure, nothing like the ghost that stood in his place some time ago. Once again, he was unrecognizable, but now because a single smile made him look so perfect, so calm, someone you could trust with your life. He supposed that was what he wanted. However, a strange feeling settled in his stomach and he couldn't look at himself for much longer.

"Thanks for coming."

The same expression he used with his mother years ago still felt familiar. His speech had already been prepared, one he had arranged together with his advisors, so, in front of so many people, wearing an expression that wasn't his, feigning a confidence he didn't have, he was more like an actor. He only hoped that people would be so involved in his show as to believe him.

"The representatives of the desert didn't come," someone informed him in a low voice.

He smiled anyway.

At this point, that simple gesture meant everything.

It was expected. They had reported that they were coming, but after Caravan Ribat fell, the silence had been deafening, proof enough. He should not be surprised.

He didn't let his face show it.

All controlled, no matter that the world was blurring around them.

Amidst a blur of voices and blurry faces, dinner passed quickly.

It wasn't until later, when the show started and people were entertained chatting with each other that Kaveh could breathe. Was it the dancing? There was one dancer in particular who conveyed a peace that was hard to describe. The glass of wine also helped.

"She's pretty good, isn't she?" The voice came from his right and Kaveh thought it sounded familiar.

Rightly so, for when he turned around, he was met with the easy smile of a blue-haired man with an eyepatch. He almost spilled his wine and his voice came out squeaky.

"K-Kaeya?"

Although it was obvious in his eye that he enjoyed his reaction, Kaeya feigned formality for the moment, bowing slightly.

"Kaeya Alberich, Your Majesty." If he could, he would surely wink at him. "Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius of Mondstadt, I came in place of the Acting Grand Master."

Jean Gunnhildr. Of course. He remembered that since Mondstadt had no government as such and the Grand Master was not in the nation, they had invited the Acting Grand Master. Gods, Kaveh knew he wasn't even looking, but not recognizing Kaeya...

He cleared his throat.

"Thank you for coming," he repeated mechanically. It didn't sit well with him. He made sure no one was eavesdropping and whispered, "Ah, I'm sorry, I just didn't imagine the Cavalry Captain would be escorting a shipment of wine."

"I am no one compared to His Majesty," Kaeya dismissed his words. "About your sudden departure..."

"I know it wasn't you," Kaveh reassured him. "And I'm going to reward you for the help."

Kaeya tipped his glass to point at Kaveh's.

"Did you like the wine?"

Kaveh hadn't paid much attention. His mind fuzzy, he hadn't paid much attention and had to think about it before answering truthfully.

"Yes, it's good."

He would have liked to say more, but he had not had many opportunities to educate his palate when he only drank to forget about his own existence. He only knew it had a sweet, persistent flavor and its smell was not intoxicating.

"Then keep buying it."

"For your friend."

"Yes. He'll have to reward me properly this time."

Kaveh barely smiled. He wondered who would be able to steal the thoughts of someone like Kaeya like that.

"All right." It would be costly, but he'd already said he'd pay him back.

"And your friend? He keeps looking at us the same way."

"Friend?"

Kaveh turned in the direction Kaeya was looking and his eyes widened.

Before the fight with Tartaglia, it was already rare to see Alhaitham. After the fight, he didn't have the honor of seeing him at all, which only served to add one more worry to his list as soon when he had time to think. Kaveh assumed that Alhaitham wouldn't be a fan of the party and would try to stay as far away as possible. So what the hell was he doing all dressed up for the occasion, leaning back against the wall and glaring back at him with all sass as soon as Kaveh's dagger-like eyes were on him?

Why was Kaveh bothering again?

Kaveh looked away and pretended it didn't affect him to see him there no matter how many leaps his poor heart made.

"Still an idiot," he whispered to Kaeya with an innocent smile.

Let him hear it.

Kaeya let out a laugh.

"Of course."

And then Kaveh went on pretending he didn't see him.

He went back to pacing the room, chattering here and smiling there.

A while later, a man dressed in a suit in Liyue's style approached him. He was conspicuous among all the guests. His friendly smile was genuine and those amber eyes seemed to have seen everything even though, from his appearance, he couldn't have been much older than Kaveh. Despite that, he failed to snap Kaveh out of his stupor until he blurted out:

"How do you feel, Your Majesty?"

It must have been his tone, as if he was really asking, not just to be respectful, that Kaveh hesitated before replying that he was well.

"Hm, I'm glad," he nodded, as if he wanted to believe him, and Kaveh regretted that he couldn't remember his name. He had come with Liyue's representative, not a formal guest, so he hadn't memorized it. "It must not be easy to rule Sumeru alone these days."

Alone.

Of course.

For some reason, the back of his neck itched, but he didn't want to think about that person, so his eyes ended up meeting Tartaglia's as he mumbled his answer. The Harbinger smiled back at him, that same casual smile he greeted everyone with. Then his gaze drifted to that of the man next to Kaveh and something changed. It had almost that excitement of when he anticipated a fight.

Strange.

"I'm sorry Liyue sent troops to ask for your hand," the man continued, cutting through Kaveh's revelation. "I heard you were friends with your guardians. I am indeed glad they were not hurt."

Now, that was striking. No one else had bothered to apologize for trying to break into his palace for years. Perhaps he would be the only one who would even look embarrassed and he wasn't even Liyue's true representative.

"It's all right," Kaveh accepted, shaking his head. His grandmother could no longer receive such apologies, and yet he was sure that, just like Alhaitham: "I don't think it bothered them."

Alhaitham would complain a little, yet he would never accept apologies for something like that —not unless he was one of the people who sent the troops in the first place.

The man smiled softly.

Before they could say anything else, the sound of a fork tapping a glass overlapped the chatter. Tartaglia chose the moment of silence in the middle of the shows to draw attention and again he was once again quite the presentation of a gentleman, so why did Kaveh feel he had to escape when Tartaglia started walking towards him?

Although he didn't let his mask fall, he did take a step back when Tartaglia drove his knee into the ground in front of him, the movement accompanied by gasps of surprise and murmurs.

What on earth was he doing?

"Your Majesty, these days I spent in Sumeru were incredible, all thanks to your presence." Stupid Tartaglia for not warning him. Stupid his reflex to seek Alhaitham's gaze for the first time since he saw him at the party, only to shudder because... if looks could kill. "I want to help you, I want to be your support in the days to come." And... there was the stupid ring. "Would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

The murmurs were beginning to grow with every second that Kaveh did not respond, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to try to deduce what Tartaglia wanted from him. Was this part of what he needed from him? Would he leave if he refused now?

He began to raise his hand.

Out of the corner of his eye, the dragon turned his back on them and he was beginning to walk away.

Kaveh gritted his teeth as Tartaglia took his hand.

Though those blue eyes revealed nothing, a few taps on the back of his hand brought him back to reality. He didn't know how he recognized them with his mind a jumbled mess. It must have been because he was waiting for them.

Just before Tartaglia reached to slide the ring on his finger, Kaveh pulled his hand back as if the mere touch burned him.

A white sound drowned out the reactions of those present.

"You are very kind, but..." He could not hear his own voice. He was no longer there, but at the door through which Alhaitham had left. "I'm sorry." Gods, at least he still had something of a mind to add, "at least for now," before darting toward the exit.

Alhaitham had no reason to be there. He could leave whenever he wanted. Surely he was looking for an excuse to leave —just like Kaveh.

Alhaitham had no reason to be there. In his life, in the palace, at that stupid party, but he was. There, in an empty hallway with his back to him, looking out a window with his arms crossed.

Kaveh simply couldn't keep pretending he didn't imagine what he wanted, because he had enough evidence to imagine it.

And if it was as he thought it was, he was...

"Why did you come?" he snapped at Alhaitham.

...furious. 

Chapter Text

Naturally, after his public statement, Kaveh wouldn't let the Harbinger say another word in front of people and dragged him into a private room instantly.

It's not as if Kaveh hadn't received marriage proposals all this time.

After the prince left the tower and became king, for obvious reasons, other nations were very interested in extending formal invitations to meet with him with the intention to proposals of the sort. Even if he had not been with Alhaitham for the first few months, Kaveh would have been skeptical of accepting such offers. After all, he disliked that those who had tried to end up with the people he cared about were suitable suitors.

Even after Alhaitham left, he was too busy and affected to think about meeting anyone else. Not even for political expediency.

Now, this handsome man who looked only slightly younger than him, sitting to his right with an easy smile, certainly wasn't in his plans.

"I think you didn't mention your name," thank the gods, Kaveh's voice was stable again now.

"Ah, I apologize," the other replied, still so nonchalant, though there was a certain nervousness in his body, as if he didn't like sitting still. "I am Snezhnaya's representative for the dinner you're going to celebrate, the Eleventh of the Eleven, Tartaglia 'Childe'. You may call me Tartaglia."

"I still can't tell if it's a pleasure to meet you," he admitted. He still felt his hands trembling with surprise.

Fortunately, Tartaglia did not seem offended by his words, and offered him an apologetic smile.

"I am also sorry for how we met. I heard that General Mahamatra was strong and wanted to check it out for myself, I hope you won't be offended. For the record, yes, he is very strong. I would love to finish the fight some other time."

General Mahamatra, standing to his right as a shield between the king and Tartaglia, made no comment on the matter, and truth be told, Kaveh didn't give a damn whether they fought again or not.

"You'll have to take that up with the General." Kaveh then added his cue for what really mattered to him: "About your proposal... I understand that Snezhnaya showed no interest in extending a marriage proposal."

Kaveh had even been surprised to discover the extent of the Fatui's activities in other nations after he left the tower. In the end he figured they must not be interested in Sumeru for some reason.

"Of course." Tartaglia leaned across the table, tilting his head to look at him. "I don't like to beat around the bush, so I'll be honest. I hear Sumeru is facing rebellions and there may be a fight for the throne."

Yes. His favorite topic. Kaveh didn't understand what the Fatui was getting at, but the mere mention had already dampened his mood.

"Are you suggesting that a marriage is going to stop this?" Kaveh asked, trying his hardest not to sound bitter.

Tartaglia shook his head and didn't bother to look embarrassed when he answered:

"No. I don't want to get married."

Kaveh: ...

He must have been enjoying this, otherwise he wouldn't have kept quiet waiting for Kaveh to shut his mouth and force himself to react.

"So...?"

"I had to justify my stay somehow. I'd appreciate it if we could leave it at that for the others." The Fatui shrugged, but his smile already anticipated a challenge. "No, I want to fight. There are very few things as stimulating as a good fight, you know? I am very strong, have no doubt that I will be useful in the battle to come."

Kaveh: ...

This time, his mouth didn't drop. Perhaps worst of all, he believed him.

-

This couldn't be what Tartaglia meant when he told him he had to fight for what he wanted.

His whole body was trembling in his effort not to jump on Alhaitham and strangle him.

"Why did you come?," he blurted out.

"To the party?" The dragon raised his eyebrows, unmoved by his tone. "You invited me."

Of course he wasn't talking about that, although he also... No, wait.

"What do you mean, I invited you? When?"

"In the dining room," Alhaitham replied in that tone of one who is forced to explain the obvious. "'By the way, there's going to be a royal banquet on such-and-such a day at such-and-such an hour'."

"I was warning you!" Kaveh took a step forward to emphasize his words.

"Hm, isn't it rude to tell someone of an event without inviting them?" Mirroring his movement, Alhaitham also took a step forward with his words. Kaveh did not miss the gesture and it only fueled his anger.

It was Alhaitham, so of course he was playing with him again.

"So you won't be bothered by the noise!" He explained with exasperation anyway, the distance between them shortened a bit more.

"If that's a reason not to attend, then why did you organize the banquet in the first place?" Alhaitham dismissed him, and when he stepped forward this time, their bodies rubbed together in the middle, magnets drawn to their opposite. "You didn't want to be there."

That idiot, always talking as if he knew him —he did—, approaching him as if Kaveh would reciprocate —he did—, passing his barriers as if he expected a response from him —he always did.

"And why do you think I'd rather be with you?" He pushed his accusing finger against Alhaitham's perfect chest, the last barrier between them. "Why would I want to be with you when you just walked away?" His voice barely trembled, but it did. The words were already in the air and the rest just spilled out. "Ever since you came back, you're giving me these mixed signals and after we kissed you don't comment on it again just to be jealous of the person who has an interest in me. You hit him!"

Oh, how satisfying Alhaitham's look was like this. Loved to surprise Alhaitham, loved to have him on the edge of his seat unable to know what he would say or do next. So he went on.

"You hit him just to what, turn around and walk away when he proposes to me?" How good it felt to feel Alhaitham's body under his hands as they ran his firm, taut abs. Alhaitham didn't pull away and that was all he needed to continue, "You don't care? You're going to leave me for someone I just met? Am I that... that worthless to you?" His voice trembled a little at the end. He could no longer take it back, nor did he want to.

He was still trembling, anxiety mixed with pent-up need, and he couldn't breathe waiting for Alhaitham's answer, trying to glean an emotion from those eyes he thought inscrutable.

At last his answer came, in the form of hands gently resting on his waist and drawing him to him. Kaveh was rapt, riding the ninth cloud at the recovered sensation and almost missed Alhaitham's words. Just almost.

"I thought you didn't want me to make a fuss."

"You've already sent him to the infirmary.

There was the barest hint of a smirk on Alhaitham's lips as he shrugged, but then his hands dropped lower, reaching the edge over his ass and his gaze hardened again. Alhaitham could hold his waist with his hands. He could break it without further ado and Kaveh would let him. However, in those moments, his touch was as soft as a feather.

"You didn't accept," he announced the fact.

Kaveh snorted half-heartedly, his heart fluttering. There couldn't be a parallel universe where I accepted Tartaglia's proposal, because he wouldn't be alive here without Alhaitham.

"And you didn't answer my questions."

His gaze dropped to Alhaitham's lips. They were so close already and neither of them wanted to talk further.

That was it.

Finding themselves in each other's arms was as natural as breathing and Kaveh didn't even bother to hold back the sound of pleasure that escaped him because it was soon drowned out by Alhaitham's mouth. Then his back hit the wall behind him and the brush of Alhaitham's hand on his thigh was enough to let him raise his leg, caressing its length and sending a shiver through his body.

He didn't think about it. Wrapping his arms around Alhaitham's shoulders, he wouldn't have hesitated to die for one more brush of his lips.

The damn fool had been away for so long doing who knows what while Kaveh pretended to go on with his life only to fall apart the moment he touched him.

Kaveh invited Alhaitham once into his life and the door was open forever. That was the way things were. He had no choice but to kiss him, tangle his hair between his fingers, arch his body into the dragon's, let himself be carried away by every caress and inevitably shudder every time Alhaitham reciprocated.

"Haitham-," he sighed between kisses, a prayer for what they were.

Two people holding each other as if they wanted to merge into one.

And then, as his hand brushed the top of Alhaitham's head, trying to bring him even closer, he found the firmness of the horns that had appeared on it. Euphoria. His lips lifted instantly and a chuckle interrupted their kisses. The dragon's upright pupils gave him away completely, as did his flushed face from the make-out session. It was such a familiar sight that Kaveh couldn't help but smile and his narrowed eyes twinkled.

"Are you that excited to kiss me?"

Alhaitham was so cute when he made that little pout, so small that only Kaveh could differentiate it on his impassive face. He always used to get Kaveh to kiss him. This time he let his hand go down as well, marking the contour of Kaveh's back with his fingers as if he hadn't explored it a thousand and one times before. Then he pressed lightly, sending Kaveh closer as he pressed forward. Kaveh bit his lip as the movement fueled his erection and Alhaitham's pout disappeared, replaced by smirk of his own.

"You're one to talk."

He would blame it on the alcohol a thousand times, but it just didn't bother him.

"I guess we're both a little excited," he remarked, tracing that area on Alhaitham's neck that always made him wince. That it proved infallible even then did nothing to dissipate that feeling growing in Kaveh. "What are we going to do about it, Haithoomi?"

Alhaitham hummed, his piercing eyes all Kaveh could see before he asked, a malevolent suggestion:

"Shall we go?"

Kaveh's heart stopped and his voice came out as a sigh.

"Yes."

Yes. Yes. Yes.

From the party. From the palace. From the city.

At that instant, he would have followed Alhaitham to the end of the world.

The end of the world was not so far away. They slipped into Alhaitham's room holding hands, stealing furtive glances at each other like two fools in love. But no, because Kaveh had the memories of holding hands with Alhaitham in a room that belonged to both of them and had long since changed in a stupid attempt to erase everything. As stupid as it was useless.

There he was again, letting Alhaitham press him against the bed he didn't recognize, and Kaveh just wanted them to be two fools in love.

Impossible.

Alhaitham's breath brushed his neck and every hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

Or did it?

Kaveh arched into his touch, his fingers entwining in Alhaitham's hair. It was soft, spilling between his fingers, so short now. The same sensation. Alhaitham bowed his head into his touch and closed his eyes, at peace. The same soft blush. Not long ago, Kaveh had heard of cats' pupils going vertical from being too happy, interested, or in tension, feeling threatened. Could it be the same for dragons?

For Alhaitham?

"Haitham," he muttered.

Alhaitham opened his eyes, his vertical pupils fixed on Kaveh. At his mercy, his face in his hands, as he had done so many times before.

And Kaveh was so weak and selfish.

"Haitham, what is this?"

What are we doing? What do you want from this? Love me.

Alhaitham deserved better than him, a pathetic man who had already pushed him away once.

"Do you want me to be honest with you?" He asked after a moment, turning his face slightly between Kaveh's hands. He brushed his lips with his hands and that alone made Kaveh unravel.

One false step and he could die. He hardly knew the rules of the game. And then what would be left for Alhaitham? This stupid lover of his was lonelier than he was and pretended not to care, but Kaveh always noticed it then. Alhaitham would hug him as if he feared he was going to disappear at any moment.

"Yes." Just a whisper of a voice.

Yet there they both were, and didn't they long for the same thing?

Alhaitham hummed into his hand. The vibration passed to Kaveh and kept his heart beating like mad, waiting for his answer like one waiting for a death sentence.

Oh, please, crave the same.

"This..." His very soft touch on his palm tickled him, "...is my surrender to you."

Kaveh managed to find his voice somehow, full of exasperation.

"By all the gods, you choose this moment to be indirect?"

Alhaitham let out his breath in a laugh. Sweet, it cut through the bundle of nerves that was Kaveh's stomach and made it churn with a very different feeling.

Please.

"What's the matter? You're always slow."

That idiot had the nerve to tell him that with that tender smile. Was he supposed to take it as a compliment?

"I'm leaving," Kaveh grumbled, giving him a well-deserved soft slap as he withdrew his hand and tried to slip out from under Alhaitham.

He didn't get very far, not with Alhaitham pinning him to the bed. He tried to kick, but it was useless. He couldn't beat Alhaitham. That amused look suddenly turning serious had Kaveh's heart exploding so easily.

"Don't go," Alhaitham asked.

And Kaveh could no longer escape.

"I'll be clear then. You hold my life in your hands."

How dared he say that when it was Kaveh who felt he couldn't breathe every time he thought of Alhaitham?

"Now, always. There was no other way out since I met you."

Neither of them wanted to escape. The thought was liberating.

"This..." whispered Alhaitham as if afraid to say it, tracing lazy patterns across his skin, stealing his every thought, "I hope it's us making love."

There was no need to ask.

Tears stung his eyes and he tugged at Alhaitham's neck, pulling him so close that their bodies brushed and their breaths mingled. He closed his eyes, giving himself over to his mercy.

The rest of the world would not matter. Whatever time they had would be just for the two of them.

"It is."

This time, when their lips met, Kaveh thought he felt it from Alhaitham as well. Like a silent whisper, a promise.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Chapter Text

Kaveh wished the politics would just end, but the world wouldn't stop just because he wanted to get out for a moment.

It was as he thought.

The desert governors had quietly allied themselves with the popular rebellion and would no longer respond to the king's attempts to talk.

Well, they could get in line for his head.

The truth is that he was an incompetent king. An idealist who lived too long away from the kingdom to know what to do, who to trust within a corrupt system. He let himself be beaten. He almost gave up. The loneliness was more than he could bear and then it ended with the warm hand reaching out to him. There he was again, using his free hand to stubbornly maintain that system he was trying to clean up. Good king or not, he was still a king, and he would never be the people. The system that was made for him could not be undone so easily, but he could try to use of it for others.

Maybe he deserved their hatred, yet he would keep trying because if not him, who?

-

Kaveh didn't see Alhaitham all the time, but there were times when he seemed to appear out of nowhere. When it was time to eat, when it was time to sleep and when he was too close to a certain redhead.

From what Kaveh heard, even after Kaveh left the party, Tartaglia proclaimed to all in attendance that he would continue to try to win the king's love. Kaveh wouldn't complain. More than one of the attendees reaffirmed their support for the king capable of keeping a Fatui Harbinger on his side. The problem was that some asked him to reconsider the offer of marriage and that was reason enough for Alhaitham to act like... well, like a dragon marking his territory around him.

When they met Tartaglia, they couldn't sit down because Alhaitham insisted on clinging onto him like his life depended on it. Kaveh couldn't see his face, but it was obvious he was glaring at the Harbinger because, as soon as he saw him, Tartaglia blurted out:

"Wow, I thought we were friends?" Not even as he raised the very arms that Alhaitham had recently broken in apparent surrender did he drop that smile.

Alhaitham growled under his breath and Kaveh could only laugh dryly. What universe was he living in?

"I suppose you had in mind the support I would receive if you proposed to me at the party," Kaveh deduced, crossing his arms, "but who makes that kind of proposal and then asks to be turned down? It would have done me a lot of good if you had warned me beforehand, you know?"

He was so nervous and out of his mind that he might well have missed Tartaglia's touch, the simple code for 'don't'. Things would be really weird from there.

Tartaglia shrugged.

"You wanted to leave the party, didn't you?," he said as if that was an appropriate excuse.

But seriously, how come everyone noticed? Kaveh hoped it was only because they had both spent a lot of time with him.

"So it had nothing to do with the brunette you were talking to all night?" Alhaitham had the ability to make a question sound like a threat.

Tartaglia raised his eyebrow and his smile took on a dangerous edge.

"Give him credit. Even your murderous stare didn't distract me from him."

"I bet he went to the trouble of comforting the poor rejected."

"Indeed. He's very nice, unlike you."

"Honestly, the Harbingers can't be that dangerous, if everyone is as impulsive as you are."

"Hm? But it seems to have served you well that it was me specifically," Tartaglia looked between Kaveh and Alhaitham, but Kaveh had a feeling he wasn't just talking about them getting together. "You'll have me to thank for insisting. My colleagues are not as nice as I am."

Alhaitham snorted and Kaveh decided he'd had enough of their back and forth.

"Good for you," he interrupted, stroking Alhaitham's arm conscientiously so that the dragon relaxed. "You're still going to stay, aren't you?"

Tartaglia kept his eyes on Alhaitham for only an instant before turning them back to Kaveh with the same look as always. As if that feeling he had was nothing more than an illusion. It had to be. If Tartaglia and Alhaitham had spoken something important, Alhaitham would tell him, wouldn't he?

"Of course, I never break my promises, but as soon as the battle is over, I will go straight to visit Mr. Zhongli in Liyue."

It was just a thoughtless choice of words, Kaveh said to himself, that he didn't say 'as soon as we win the battle'.

Thoughtless.

-

Kaveh stood in darkness. It fell upon him like an oppressive cloak. It drowned out every sound, every movement and made him feel hopeless, trapped in his head with his thoughts.

Home, bitter home. Hopelessness was nothing but a feeling that had been settling on him little by little since he was a child, seeking to devour his mind. Voices that sounded like his own claiming that he would never amount to anything, that nothing made sense, that he was just a disappointment. Just like every time they appeared, Kaveh struggled desperately.

He had to think of something nice. Anything.

And he remembered.

When he woke up, Alhaitham would be hugging him tight against his chest and dulling all his senses. This darkness could do nothing compared to the way even his thoughts would escape him in Alhaitham's arms. The friction would make him shudder, a kiss would transport him to another dimension and he could barely think of anything but how much he would want to stay there forever.

He could almost feel it again.

"Ranim?," a soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

Kaveh opened the eyes he didn't realize he had closed. When he looked this time, a light that seemed to be in the shape of a person was shining in the distance. The voice seemed familiar, but he could not tell from where. It was like that of a child, but it was laden with wisdom, the feeling he had more akin to talking to his grandmother.

That name made his heart clench... Was she calling his father?

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're Kaveh, right? Time passes quickly out of here. Did I interrupt your thoughts? You seemed to be thinking of something pleasant," the voice said, as if she was actually curious.

Kaveh couldn't see the figure from so far away and when he tried to get closer, he found that his body didn't respond. Nor could he speak. Of course. The darkness. The more he tried, the more his consciousness sank into it.

"No, no time for that," the voice decided, perhaps seeing his difficulties. "Kaveh, I'm sorry. Your burden is more than anyone should bear. If I were there, maybe... I can't promise much, but..."

His vision blurred and the darkness began to fade. He closed his eyes, trying to cling to it, but the light was already stinging behind that nothingness, taking him with it.

Was it part of the dream or his own imagination?

Before he opened his eyes to the day, only one sentence was left echoing in his ears.

"Please look for me." 

Chapter Text

A second of connecting ideas later, Kaveh shook Alhaitham hard. His own hands were shaking and he eagerly ignored his partner's scowl.

"H-Haitham! Lesser Lord Kusanali! She can appear in people's dreams, can't she!"

Alhaitham had his eyes closed, but opened one at his question, as if considering the implications of his waking him up with that specific doubt.

"Hm. At least Greater Lord Rukkhadevata could."

Kaveh swallowed saliva. If there was anyone who wouldn't think he was crazy for what he was about to say, it was Alhaitham. He let it out in a single breath:

"She... may be trapped somewhere. I have to find her."

-

The more he thought about it, the more it made sense.

That the Goddess of Wisdom would disappear from the kingdom without a word was so strange that Kaveh wondered how he hadn't questioned it before. He had always insisted on blaming himself, and after investigating, he was ashamed to discover that this problem had been going on much longer than he thought. Hundreds of years even. In all that time, there were no records of sightings of the goddess. And yet, she had called his father's name.

"Why would she ask for help just now...?"

Alhaitham tapped the book in his hands.

"What changed?" He asked as if to spark a brainstorm, but that question alone made both of their eyes light up.

"Azar and the others," Kaveh answered, climbing on top of Alhaitham. "We only recently started taking out everyone they had infiltrated."

Alhaitham nodded, bringing his face closer.

"To catch a god..."

"The easiest thing would be to trap her in her consciousness," he finished, his voice trembling. "That way, she wouldn't even be able to call for help."

"You just had the first dream after they started taking the people of the nobles out."

"When we got close to Sumeru..."

"Cyno was taking care of the remaining ones and you had another dream."

"They had a lot of people in the Akademiya, do you think maybe...?"

"They have something to do with it and Lesser Lord Kusanali is nearby, but where?"

They looked at each other. At some point, they had gotten so close to each other that their breaths were already mingling, their bodies pressed together on the couch, as if they were looking to each other for the answer. Kaveh had forgotten how pleasant Alhaitham's presence was to his saturated brain. If they couldn't figure it out just by thinking about it, they couldn't figure it out just by thinking about it. They would find a way, he needn't stress.

"What audacity they have to lock up a goddess," Alhaitham commented at last, as if in passing.

Kaveh thought about it.

He had only been isolated for a few years and he didn't know how many times he had drowned in hopelessness, even with his grandmother's company. He couldn't imagine what it was like to be trapped for hundreds of years without any company. Who did they think they were that they had the right to do that to anyone? His whole body itched and a vicious feeling simmered in his stomach at the thought.

Was he really the only king ignorant of what was going on?

'Ranim?'

Again and again, his father's name managed to fill him with hopelessness, one that spread through his body until it dulled all his feelings. He no longer knew what to believe, so he automatically thought the worst.

"Haitham, she mentioned my father's name," this time, he made sure his voice didn't shake, looking into those teal eyes he could trust with all his thoughts. "Do you think he might have been involved in this?"

"Perhaps." Oh, Alhaitham had not yet learned to lie. He wrapped his arms around Kaveh's waist and pulled him closer. Kaveh ended up in the space between his neck and shoulder, smelling the soft scent of old books that was strongest these days. "Perhaps not."

"So we still know nothing." With Alhaitham's heart pounding against his chest, Kaveh accepted that he couldn't know at the moment.

In the end, he had other things to worry about—like a rebellion.

"Hm." Alhaitham planted a kiss on his neck, making him shiver. "We'll find out where Lesser Lord Kusanali is. Together."

"Good. Yes." Kaveh let his hands run over Alhaitham's form with his hands. "Thank you."

-

A lot happened when two geniuses put their minds together.

Once they found the Archon, they had to find a way to connect to her consciousness to get her out. They had to take a leap of faith and gather people from the Akademiya with whom to create a device that could connect to the goddess' dreams. Kaveh was personally in charge of overseeing that project.

If they wanted to use it, first of all, they had to find out where Lesser Lord Kusanali was.

They searched the entire Divine Tree, including the Akademiya and the royal palace, but there was nothing. The place had to be sealed off somehow to avoid prying eyes. Of course, they couldn't just let anyone cross paths with the goddess. Kaveh and Alhaitham didn't let that discourage them.

They had a clue. The nobles and the people Azar had had infiltrated the Akademiya.

They still had Azar's people locked up, but, for once, Cyno's interrogation didn't work. It was as if they feared for their lives if they ever revealed that information, biting their tongues until they bled before revealing a word. Kaveh soon gave up on them, much to Alhaitham's exasperation.

His next idea was more interesting.

-

"Do you know what I heard?," whispered the servant, pausing from sweeping to watch her friend hiding behind some plants.

The gardener continued pruning, but his ear was always available to her.

"What?"

"They say the king is looking for Lesser Lord Kusanali in the Divine Tree."

The gardener frowned and stopped pruning.

"How could that be? Why would he be looking for her at the Akademiya?"

"Apparently." She moved a little closer, as if whispering like that wasn't enough. "Apparently the rebel nobles had her locked up somewhere. But don't say anything, okay? It's a secret. They don't want them to find out before they find her."

The gardener let out a laugh and the servant pouted.

"Hey, that's what they say! Don't tell anything just in case, okay?"

"Of course, of course."

Like many things the girl gossiped about, the gardener thought it was ridiculous. So, saying he wouldn't tell was only good until he was a little drunk and wanted to make fun of what people were talking about. And what harm could he do?

-

"They say that Lesser Lord Kusanali..."

-

"The king is looking for..."

-

"Did you hear that about the rebellious nobles...?"

-

"Sir, the people are talking about Lesser Lord Kusanali. It is possible that the king has discovered something. If the people who were left there tell him where she is..."

Azar bit his lip and thought, thought, thought. He had very few men left at the Akademiya. There weren't enough of them to keep the goddess's consciousness asleep. There was the possibility that she could communicate with this fool of a king, find her location and then... Well, despite not being the Goddess of Wisdom they deserved, she was still a goddess.

They couldn't mobilize the army yet, but they had to take the opportunity before they realized that the information had leaked out, right?

"Good," he grunted at last. "Now we'll move."

-

It was already late at night at the Akademiya. It was quiet, without many guards, but that was normal. The king didn't want it known that he was looking for Lesser Lord Kusanali, so putting more guards than usual would only draw attention. That would be his mistake.

The corridors twisted, turned, turned in dozens of directions. It would have been easy to get lost aimlessly. In the darkness, only the sound of their footsteps echoed, soft but hurried. After what seemed like an eternity, the scholars stopped.

That area of the Akademiya was already quite hidden. Devoid of windows, its walls were but the trunk of the great tree in which they stood. This trunk was decorated with hand-carved patterns. One, two, three and he pressed the Dendro symbol into the wall. Then, from seemingly nowhere, the trunk gave way to a passageway to an elevator. Simple, right?

It would also be simple to enter the elevator, close the door and go down it to the place where they were hiding the Goddess of Wisdom were it not for the blades of a spear and two swords grazing their necks.

There was no warning before the two men appeared behind them.

"Interesting what you have here," said one of the voices coldly, letting the edge of his sword graze his skin more than was necessary for the man to back away. "Surely you don't mind if we take a look, do you?"

"Y-You..." One of the men stammered at the sight of him, eyes widening in recognition.

Alhaitham narrowed his eyes. The feeling seemed reciprocated, but not quite, as if he couldn't quite decide where he knew him from. He turned to Cyno.

"Do you have them yet?!" Kaveh interrupted his thoughts, appearing down the hallway. He was carrying his sword, ready to fight, but there was no fight to join when the three scholars were unarmed. The elevator was still open and it soon caught his eye. "It's... it's here?"

"Kaveh, we told you to wait," Alhaitham grumbled, still keeping pressure on the two scholars he was guarding on his own while Cyno cuffed the one he had.

"Alhaitham," he called in the same tone, "I waited five seconds."

Kaveh looked at the scholars. One of them, a middle-aged man who already had a red line spilling down his neck from the pressure of Alhaitham's sword, was casting quick glances between Alhaitham and himself. An uneasy smile tugged at his lips and, soon, turned to nervous, if not mocking laughter.

"What's wrong with him?," Kaveh asked, looking at Alhaitham.

Alhaitham was unfazed, shrugging his shoulders. The sword continued to dig into the man's throat from the movement of his laughter, but he did not stop.

Alhaitham might have been fine with that, but Kaveh didn't like it at all. This guy was laughing in his face after being caught about to, what, kidnap the Goddess of Wisdom again? He thought he could do whatever he wanted with no consequences and then mocked them.

"What's so funny?," he grunted in spite of himself with a step forward.

"Hahahahah Your Majesty is very funny hahah..." His laughter was disgusting, the kind that would get into your mind and wouldn't let you escape until it was over. Kaveh wanted to hit him, to faint him so that he would shut up at once. "Simply... hahahah you love to have your enemies close, right? Hahahahah..."

Kaveh didn't understand. He didn't understand, but he saw the way Alhaitham tensed. His gaze became sharp as a knife and the hand holding the sword at the man's neck tightened. For some reason, that alerted Kaveh.

The man nearly choked as the blade pressed harder against his skin, cutting off his laughter. No matter, his lips were still curved mockingly and his eyes said they were looking at an idiot.

"What do you mean?"

His own hand gripped his sword tighter and even though he was waiting for the man's response, he wasn't looking at him. Crimson eyes bore into Alhaitham anxiously. A question in itself. Alhaitham did not answer.

"Don't you know?" The man's voice was soft now, tantalizing as the snake that promises you the truth of the world. A little blood spilled from his lips then. "The leader of the people's rebellion is a dragon." 

Chapter Text

"Cyno, take them away."

"Your Majesty..."

"Take them away."

Kaveh couldn't believe how cold and calculated his voice sounded at that moment. As if it didn't belong to him. It had nothing to do with that feeling that was growing inside him, wanting to rip his skin off to get out and end it all. Especially himself, for being so stupid, such an idiot.

He wasn't going to believe just anyone, but he knew it was true. He had the very reaction of Alhaitham in front of him. No one else would notice the crack in his impenetrable mask, but he was Kaveh and he would be a thousand times more stupid if he wanted to deny it now.

It all made sense now. Suddenly Alhaitham had knowledge of human societies, of politics. He would leave without saying where he was going and, days later, the rebellion was on the move again. He had even bothered to help him look for Lesser Lord Kusanali, because, although he had bothered to organize a whole rebellion against him, he was still lazy enough not to want to rule himself.

But no. It couldn't be, right? For Alhaitham had cared for him, Alhaitham had made promises to him, Alhaitham...

Was it all an act?

"This is my surrender to you."

He was a complete idiot.

"Damned liar!"

Kaveh held his sword tightly in his hands, keeping it in front of him in a defensive position as if that could do anything to save the heart that was shattering in his chest.

"Kaveh..."

Kaveh waited, but Alhaitham said nothing more and that only made his fury boil with desire, distributing itself all over his body.

Yes, that was better. He had to get angry, go mad and destroy everything that hurt him once and for all. It would be a thousand times better than the desolation that awaited on the other side.

"You're not even going to try to trick me?"

"...You'll get angrier if I try," the dragon answered matter-of-factly at last.

And it was true. He would hate it so much more if he lied to him, tried to convince him against what they both knew was true, but it burned so much more. Alhaitham, this jerk, knew him so well. Alhaitham, who had seen every part of him, every trauma and every fear, he was still doing this to him.

The revelation hit him like a brick.

"You never thought me a capable king, did you?" He growled under his breath.

His claymore felt much heavier than usual. Perhaps it was what it represented. A weapon was meant to hurt others. Alhaitham was still holding his swords. From one of them dripped the blood of the man who had opened his eyes. He wondered how Alhaitham could still carry it. He wondered if his movements would still be so fluid, so cool, so beautiful when he lifted it against him.

"I wanted to die." He had to use both hands to raise the sword in front of him. His hands were shaking so badly that it was a miracle he hadn't dropped it yet. "Before you found me in the bar, I wanted to die."

It was not the darkness that made it difficult for him to see Alhaitham, but the tears that had begun to flow without his permission. How he hated to cry. Even gritting his teeth to try to hold back the tears, Alhaitham's expression was still blurry. Kaveh only knew that he didn't move either, as if he had been replaced by a statue of himself, as unable to respond to him as he was to feel what he was doing to him.

"Why the fuck did you talk me into living?," he spat. One step forward.

It didn't make sense, none of it made sense.

However, the facts were that Alhaitham hadn't told him he loved him since they'd met again. Not once.

"Why did you pretend you cared?" Another step.

He could take just a few steps forward and pierce right through with that traitorous heart, now that Alhaitham did nothing but stare at him with that inscrutable gaze. Would he see it coming? Probably not. Because Kaveh was just an impractical idealist, a fool, an idiot who let himself be deceived again and again.

"No." Kaveh tried to smirk, a sneer at himself, but he could imagine it was nothing more than a grimace that would add to his quivering eyes and tears (gods, why was he still crying?). "You don't care about anything but your stupid logic and your stupid efficiency. To you, anyone would be a better king than me."

His strength returned to him and he managed to aim at Alhaitham.

He could really do it —he could try—. Drive the sword into this asshole's heart. Maybe nothing would happen to Alhaitham, maybe that's why he wouldn't move. How could Kaveh hurt him when he didn't have a heart anyway?

And why didn't he respond? Why? Why? Why?

His vision cleared for an instant and that was enough. Once again, he didn't know what Alhaitham was feeling, his face as expressionless as ever. That didn't matter. What bothered him most was that he didn't have the slightest idea why his enemy had the face of the love of his life.

He raised the sword and pushed it against Alhaitham's chest.

Kaveh had a feeling that he could have thrust right through it and Alhaitham wouldn't have moved, but this simple gesture, handing him the weapon, made the dragon flinch and recoil. It was so unfair, why was he acting like he didn't want it, why was he pretending that this wasn't his target even now?

"You insensitive piece of shit. Why don't you take it?"

Push harder.

"Be the hero who saves the Archon, be the king, do what you want, I don't care!"

Stick your finger in the wound.

"Just kill me, isn't that what you want?"

If he has a heart, let it hurt.

"Gods, just kill me!"

And if not, it doesn't matter. I'll be dead already.

He didn't think it could hurt any more. Then he felt fingers closing over his and the sword changed hands.

-

When Kaveh left the Akademiya that night, he was alone. He staggered a little and trembled a little more, clutching his bloodstained side. His face was pale, his gaze lost.

Cyno, waiting beside the guards who now held the intruders, almost turned as pale as he did at the sight of the blood absently painting his pants.

"Your Majesty! What...?"

And as if remembering then, Kaveh straightened up. His gaze focused again.

"Alhaitham tried to attack me." Cyno froze in the middle of his search for a bandage, but Kaveh didn't seem bothered. "He is the leader of the popular rebellion." And his voice was firm in announcing his resolve, because it had to be: "He will not be welcome here. From now on, we are after his head."

Kaveh, Alhaitham, Azar.

The lives of two men for the lives of hundreds.

In this stupid game, only one could win.

Even by letting himself get screwed over and over again, Kaveh's hand was still the winner.

Why not use it? 

Chapter Text

Despite all the blood, Kaveh's wound was not that deep. He only let them bandage it a little before summoning his team of investigators. They gathered in front of the goddess' prison, a bubble of Dendro energy.

The goddess looked like a child barely, eyes closed and palms pressed together. Her white hair surrounded an angelic face. Kaveh thought, if he could have seen her up close in his dream, she would be like that. The anger at the injustice was almost palpable as he watched her sleep —how could anyone be so cruel as to lock up a child, five hundred years and more?—, but it was okay. It was something to hold on to, something to go on for.

They tried the obvious. It didn't help to call her. Moving the bubble was not an option as they didn't know if it would affect her condition in any way. It was to be expected, in the end, for it was her consciousness that was trapped.

"Follow the plan," Kaveh ordered. "We have to finish the device and connect with her consciousness."

-

Time was limited these days, though that was also contemplated on the plan he had once made with Alhaitham.

Once they caught Azar's men and discovered the location of the goddess, it was only a matter of time before Azar would hurry his preparations and attack. The nobleman would not want to give them time to wake her or for her to reveal what had been done to her.

It wasn't long before they received the report that Azar's army was finishing closing in on the left.

It could not even be said to be a surprise that the rebels were breaking through on the right.

The fate of the kingdom would be decided in a single battle.

For the first time, the king sighed and called the army to prepare.

-

"I told you," said the gardener, shaking his head as they hurried to leave the palace. "I told you that dragon was not to be trusted."

The gardener and the servant were just two heads among the dozens of people crowding to leave the palace. The order had only been given a few minutes ago, but it didn't take long for everyone who wasn't part of the guard to fill the hallway to leave.

The girl snorted, but did not let go of the boy's arm, which she held on to so as not to get lost.

"I heard you the first twenty times," she mumbled, evidently not very happy with the way things turned out.

"And now I'm going to be anxious because I don't know if all my plants are going to be trampled tomorrow..."

"Shouldn't you be worried that tomorrow our king might be dead?" The girl pricking him.

"You worry too much about people you don't even know..." the boy complained, squirming.

"If you don't care about him, you can at least worry about them taking away your vacations. Have you already forgotten about the previous king?"

Gardener: ...

"Do you think they'll let me stay and fight?" he asked at last, thoughtfully.

Another prick.

"No, you won't stay!"

"But all of a sudden this seems very important..."

"No! If something happens to you, who am I going to gossip with?"

The boy returned her gaze in earnest then, somewhere between amusement and affection. He didn't say anything about her not having anyone to gossip about if something happened to the king —she'd end up finding someone else, no matter how depressed she was at first.

"It really seems important," he insisted slowly, playing dumb. "I'm not going to be doing anything else after..."

"You're coming to my house," the servant cut him off, tugging him hard. "Let that go and we'll go on a date!"

The tug did nothing, but with those words, the gardener almost tripped and that would have been the end of it, crushed by the rest of the people struggling to get out at once. Luckily, the servant tugged his arm again before he fell, bringing them face to face.

"Eh?"

"Go out with me!"

And how could he refuse?

-

Strangely, after having dreaded this moment for weeks, Kaveh's hands weren't even trembling. He could hear the sounds of troops preparing for battle, calling to each other and exchanging news of the enemy advance on the city. However, there was no one to see the precision and calmness with which Kaveh finished assembling the device. He had long since sent them all away.

Too late, anyone else would think.

Not even the goddess of wisdom could cut short a battle that had been simmering for so long, working its way through the city to end upon Kaveh.

It was just that people were selfish, and of course, impressionable. It was so easy to fill them with hatred for someone they had never met and would never meet.

For once, he understood that he had done all he could and it hadn't been enough. So now Kaveh was in the middle of the storm, as was Alhaitham —for of course Alhaitham was there too, but not so Azar, the rat would hide until the waters calmed, until everyone else had no other choice but to obey him.

This was a battle of Kaveh and Alhaitham.

Then his hands did not tremble and the device was ready.

Kaveh passed through empty corridors, but also came across soldiers running, shouting information to each other about the grouping change. Kaveh tried not to look too much and also pretended not to hear the questions. No one addressed him, although this was all his fault.

Once people had fought for his hand, but now they were fighting for his head.

Fate didn't seem to give a shit that he had never wanted any of it. He never wanted anything at all, period. No, on the contrary, it cared because it enjoyed making him squirm, squeezing his heart until it was a uniform mass that could know nothing but suffering.

It was all so infinitely surreal and stupid, so Kaveh dulled his senses and kept running.

I did everything I could.

And this would be his last gift to the kingdom he never wanted to rule.

Maybe I'll never deserve a normal life, but...

The connecting point was quiet, at least.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when he opened them, he found himself in darkness again. 

Chapter Text

When Kaveh opened his eyes to the darkness, he realized he had made it.

The first few times he was in that darkness, Kaveh thought it was comfortable.

It wasn't the darkness, he figured out some time later. It was the presence.

The small solitary light in the distance was enough to calm the fear, to bring him a gentle sense of peace —but how could one be comforted by his own presence? If there was anyone aware of the impossibility of that, it was Kaveh. Too lonely, too trapped in himself to even consider that there might be a way out and now.... He couldn't imagine how the goddess must feel.

"Lesser Lord Kusanali?," he tried, his voice hollow in that emptiness.

There was no answer.

Perhaps it was presumptuous of him to believe he understood even a tiny part of what the goddess must feel, of how hard it must be to believe you still had something to give after so long being trampled. In spite of everything, the goddess was encouraged to ask for help —to help him.

So he moved forward.

His footsteps made no sound in that darkness and the silence was suffocating. It was like ceasing to exist for a moment and, as much as the idea had entertained him at some point, he discovered in that place how horrible it was. He felt like getting down on his knees and screaming, if only to make a noise.

He didn't because that light was still in front of him. He had to reach Lesser Lord Kusanali.

It was very Kaveh of him that even at that moment he considered himself selfish.

When he was already close, Kaveh realized how small the goddess was. She looked like nothing more than a child, balled up, hugging herself. His throat constricted again, but he got the strength to call out to her.

"Lesser Lord Kusanali..."

He didn't get to take the next step. His foot collided with something invisible and, reaching out, he discovered that a wall separated him from the goddess.

"Lesser Lord Kusanali!"

She was unresponsive.

And Kaveh became increasingly aware of the darkness and how oppressive the silence was. It made you feel really lonely, it invited you to fall into despair. It was all too easy to get carried away with that train of thought. After all, it was likely that he would have nothing left once he got out. Likely. He wondered if this was how the goddess felt.

He wanted to get out.

He had to get out.

He, too, had his minutes counted. If someone found him in reality, would they hesitate to take the opportunity to slit his throat?

He pounded on the wall.

Nothing.

But he couldn't give up now, not when the person who needed his help was right in front of him —because she was a person, too, in addition to being a goddess, wasn't she?

"Lesser Lord Kusanali!"

Kaveh, he wasn't just a king either.

No. At the end of the day, he was just a man reaching out desperately, hoping to help, and maybe, just maybe, to be helped back.

"N-Nahida!"

With the next blow, Kaveh saw a crack and, like glass, the barrier in front of him cracked. He staggered forward with the force of the movement and, when he regained his balance, a pair of large green eyes watched him with a mixture of emotions.

Kaveh stood as straight as he could, embarrassment suddenly filling him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to use your name...."

She blinked and then let out a small giggle.

"No, I like it," she stated softly and then the smile disappeared from her face. "Thank you for waking me up, Kaveh."

Even though she was thanking him, the look in Nahida's eyes was sad and guilt stirred inside Kaveh. He couldn't know how, but he realized that she already knew about the situation.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. He struggled to keep the lump in his throat from choking his words. "I would have liked to wake you up when everything was better, but..."

He wouldn't have the chance then.

"It's all right." Nahida sighed, yet soon her gaze was filled with determination. "I will help you. I have scores to settle, too, after all."

Kaveh nodded. If only a little, he understood, and perhaps that was enough.

"I'll do what I can," he assured her, clutching at his heart.

Nahida had to understand it too, the sense of finality that hung over that encounter.

"Kaveh." Nahida reached out and Kaveh let him take his hand, so large in comparison. "Thank you. For everything."

Kaveh's eyes widened and doubts bubbled beneath the surface of his mind. How could he accept her thanks so easily? Not from her, not from someone he had somehow abandoned himself. Not because of the kingdom, not when he was letting people get hurt from a confrontation that perhaps, had he found another way...

Not when he was so inclined to give it all up in the end.

"I know how you feel right now, but, trust yourself, okay?"

'Trust your instincts.'

Oh.

When he awoke, a single tear was falling down his cheek.

He wiped it away with one hand and stood up once more.

-

The sounds of battle returned in full force the moment he left the room.

It was close, closer than he thought, looming over his head like what it was. A death sentence.

If it had been like before, maybe he would have stepped forward to reveal himself. Perhaps he would have knelt down and given himself up to be finished with. Gods, how badly he wanted it all to be over at once.

Now, he held his sword in his hands, just as he had innocently learned so many years ago, and made his way through the halls of the Akademiya.

The battle had progressed further than he had expected and he had to pass several retreating soldiers on the side, tending to their wounds. Looking away and pretending this was not his fault was. As he had anticipated, difficult —if not impossible.

Kaveh wasn't stupid (he really wasn't), so he had some healing potions in case he needed them. They were complicated to make, so they weren't that common even in battle, and some of the ones he carried were capable of healing serious wounds. For him, supposedly, yet how could he ignore the first soldier he saw with a deep gash across his chest, his gaze full of pain as a female companion tried to bandage him impromptu?

Kaveh wasn't a medic either, so he couldn't be sure if the man could hold out to where the medics were and if he just walked away, it would be his fault if he didn't make it, because he would have had a chance to do something for the soldier who was fighting a pointless battle for him and he didn't.

Kaveh was, time and time again, overtaken by guilt, so he gave and gave and gave until he ran out of potions. He could already imagine the look on Tighnari's face when he found out, but it was okay, because the secret exit was just around the corner and there was no one else in need of immediate assistance.

And it almost seemed easy.

Until, of course, life came to remind him that easy never was for him.

"Hey, someone's coming!"

Kaveh stopped abruptly and turned on his heels to turn around, yet he was too late. Surprise, people who had been training for a long time were faster than him who only had time to do a little during the week. The men closed in on him and Kaveh came to count about four, armed with swords and spears. Lucky him, indeed: all of them were bigger and more threatening than him.

"Were you trying to escape, princess?," mocked one.

It was obvious from their clothing that they belonged to the popular rebel group, probably from the forest side.

They found his emergency exit because clearly his luck was nonexistent.

Stupid Alhaitham, damned clever bastard. Would it kill him to hire less savvy people?

His eyes moved quickly among the four and he held his Claymore tightly. His senses, charged with adrenaline from running through a battlefield, kicked in harder. His body itched with energy, but he did not strike first.

The looks on the men's faces were mocking, as if they had found a sneaky little rat, a nobody they wanted to crush just because he annoyed them. Not the king. The nickname was just a tasteless nickname.

He could still get out of here. It was okay.

"Perhaps," he spoke, trying not to let the noise of his voice cut through the soft sounds of his opponents' movements. "Truth be told, I don't want to fight for a king I don't even know. Hey, that's one less enemy soldier. Let me go and I won't bother you."

"Ha," another scoffed, his gait smooth despite the Claymore he carried. "True, that king is useless, bragging about being so good, but just like all the others, he let the people of the border continue to rot."

Kaveh's eye twitched. Otherwise, his expression did not betray his feelings.

"Yes. Ah, but I have to go before the General finds out. Excuse me..."

He took a tentative step forward. The men did not move, looking at each other only for a moment, and Kaveh tensed in anticipation.

Then the man in front of him, who wielded a polearm, smiled sideways.

"Hey, princess, you're very pretty. Maybe I'll let you go if you give me a kiss, hm?"

Kaveh's face caught fire so fast at the laughter of the man's companions, who mocked even more how his eyes widened and his jaw clenched. The wave of disgust that swept over him was not normal, shaking his whole body. His whole being was telling him that he couldn't let them touch him. He wasn't theirs to play with. He was...

Seriously, stupid Alhaitham, how come did he not see what kind of people he had in his stupid rebellion?

"He really is pretty. I want one for me too," added another behind his back in a taunting tone.

"Yes, yes. Might as well give us all one," the man with the Claymore joined in, his eyes narrowed by the grin spreading across his face. Kaveh did not loosen his grip on his own Claymore. As if imbeciles like them would settle for just a kiss. "Hey, didn't they say the king was pretty too?" Oh. "And blond, crimson-eyed..."

"Ah, I heard he hadn't left the Akademiya yet..."

Silence fell heavy on the five and, for a moment, no one dared to say anything.

"Could it be...?" Before the idea had finished leaving the lips of the man with the polearm, it changed to a grunt of pain the moment Kaveh lunged towards him and he slashed his side with his Claymore.

The man staggered, his eyes wide open as the blood splattered on his clothes. They must have both been thinking the same thing then, how thin his clothes were and how easy it was to tear a man's skin.

Wham.

Another lunge to Kaveh's side ripped the second soldier's chest before he could even raise his sword. A kick finished pushing him against the hallway wall.

And Kaveh thought maybe he could make it after all.

"Son of a bitch!"

He felt the second polearm digging into his arm, but the pain was lost somewhere amidst the adrenaline. He also ignored the extra weight of his Claymore when his hand didn't want to help him as usual —ah, he should have brought a light sword after all— and launched a lunge towards the third soldier. He was clumsy this time and the man, already expecting it, parried him with his own Claymore.

"Not so fast, princess," he growled through his teeth, flashing a tight smile.

So much for his surprise attack.

Kaveh jumped back and his skin tore again as the polearm forcibly released him. This time, the pain was very real.

He was lucky for once. The two men he attacked first didn't get up, but he still had two very large and very angry enemies.

"Don't you people have rules like 'capture the enemy leader alive?'," Kaveh complained, forcing his voice to sound unaffected.

"How should I know?," mocked one, and his feigned innocence was laced with cynicism. "Why would the king go around dressed as a random soldier, alone?"

Kaveh smiled back, while in his mind he kept insulting Alhaitham.

"Yes, I thought so."

They continued to exchange thrusts, yet with every second, his disadvantage became more obvious. The throbbing in his arm made it hard to think and he could feel his clothes getting wet with his blood. There were two of them and Kaveh was only one.

The realization loomed larger and larger: If he didn't do something soon, he would die.

No matter how many times he repeated it to himself, the feeling that he deserved it was still there, creeping through his mind, taking the slightest opportunity to resurface and dig its claws into his thoughts, tell him that he was the one in the wrong.

The stupid boy who had carried his father's crime hadn't even been on the throne for three years and everyone wanted to do away with him —he must have done something wrong, very wrong. He, who had always been so willing to take every offense committed in the world and make it his own, could die and he wouldn't have to worry about any of it anymore, he would have paid for everything.

So why was he still fighting?

If he had no openings, he just had to make himself one.

At the moment when the polearm man was about to throw another lunge, Kaveh gathered all his strength and threw his claymore towards his companion as if it were a polearm as well. The man in front of him hesitated only a moment and that was enough for Kaveh to grab the handle. He snatched the polearm from his hand and threw it back, piercing the man's abdomen in one swift motion.

He wondered, though he already knew the answer.

He took off the polearm with a jerk, but, before he could fully turn, a boot slammed into his legs and sent him to his knees on the ground. He saw his claymore out of the corner, yet he had barely reached out for it when a wrenching pain spread through his back.

Perhaps it was a thousand times more painful to know what was coming because he already knew the answer.

He didn't let himself fall, not even when he howled in pain.

"Ah, don't you look much better like that?" The voice sounded distant, though the man's shadow now loomed over him.

It hurt. It hurt like hell.

He tried to think of something, or reach for his sword, anything to defend himself, but his eyesight was blurring and his ears were ringing and it was impossible to concentrate on anything but a single thought, repeating over and over in his mind.

Stupid Alhaitham.

He thought he wouldn't feel anything else and then claymore descended again, twisting in his stomach. This time, he didn't even hear himself. Yet he felt his throat tearing and this the most he had ever shown his paint.

Gods, couldn't he even die in peace?

Did he really deserve all this in the end?

To die at the hands of soldiers he had never met and who somehow still hated him so badly.

Had he been such a bad king?

He once thought so and resigned himself to that, just to go on living, all because of that stupid Alhaitham.

Because that idiot, despite everything, made him believe that they had a future.

That it was okay for Kaveh to live.

The man kept saying things, even though Kaveh could no longer understand.

But it was okay. He would admit it.

He had been a bad king, the worst king.

In the end, he had no power to change anything, forever the foolish, ignorant prince of the tower.

Ah, where was his dragon now?

Would Alhaitham know that even when he saw the man raise his sword, preparing to slit his throat, Kaveh never doubted him?

He should have remained the prince of the tower.

Or better yet, they should have eloped when they had the chance.

Perhaps then, they both could have lived in some distant nation, where someone's life was not determined by their birth, there where the wind brought the scent of freedom. He could have been an architect as he always imagined, built a home for the two of them. Or for more than two. They could have been happy.

The idea made his head spin.

Who cared?

The claymore descended and Kaveh closed his eyes tightly.

In that instant, for the first time in years, he thought,

I care.

In his heart, a flame refused to go out, or was it just the pain?

Alhaitham,

I don't want to die.

Chapter Text

Once upon a time there was a dragon who grew up among books.

Dragons were solitary creatures, at least in this part of the world, but this little dragon had his grandmother and thought that was fine. He would bury himself in his books, learn more and more of the world and that was fine, because he loved to learn and hated to bother with unnecessary things. He lived years and years like that and it was fine, really.

The dragon knew that his grandmother would sometimes go and join the humans, to bring him books or just for fun. He didn't understand. Humans were cruel, they waged wars, they feared what was different —the dragon knew they would fear them too, if they knew. They could create all the golden palaces they wanted, and the dragon would still rather save himself the trouble. It made no sense then, why his grandmother would care for a human.

The dragon didn't mind the silence when the two of them were together. They could each be doing their own thing and the dragon would be comfortable that way. But then suddenly he had to share his grandmother's time with someone he didn't even know.

Perhaps the worst was when his grandmother would talk about him with a sweet smile, about his intelligence, his curiosity and his innocence.

It made him sulk, he couldn't help but be annoyed.

Maybe he was like that now, but he would grow up, like all humans, and change. The dragon knew enough about human monarchs to know that he would waste resources, abuse the weak, and nothing they could teach him would matter.

Dumb human, he thought. The dragon never thought much about the appearance of humans, yet he imagined that one must be ugly, with his pale, lusterless skin, his dull locks, with hairs where he had no business having any. He imagined that not even scales could give him a bit of beauty.

Someone so ugly and dumb wouldn't deserve his grandmother's attention.

The dragon knew the place, so there was this time when he approached the palace. He had made up an excuse, all to see, to confirm his suspicions, because the dragon was a bit mean that way. All dragons had something to protect, something they would care for until the end of days, and the dragon was so young, unaware of the world even in his vast knowledge, that that was his grandmother to him. How could he let her go about caring for any human?

From the sky, he glanced down at the palace. It was large, striking, once upon a time a gift from a nobleman to his beloved, his grandmother had told him. She had remarked something about how something so beautiful could only be born of love.

The dragon did not understand.

Then he saw him.

Hair like the sun, locks blowing in the wind outside his window, framed a golden face. Large crimson eyes stared up at him in wonder, full of curiosity. His mouth opened in surprise and then the corners of his mouth turned up. The dragon had never been overly interested in other creatures, his appreciation for aesthetics was nil. Really. But, at that moment...

As soon as he landed in the courtyard, the dragon wanted to become tiny, so tiny that the prince's gaze could not reach him. It was hard for him not to look up until his grandmother arrived.

When she asked why he was there, worried, the dragon blinked slowly.

He had made up an excuse, all to see, to confirm... What?

"I forgot."

Later, tucked among his books, unable to process a word, the dragon thought,

'I have to find something else.'

'The prince... he's pretty.'

From then on, the dragon began to listen to his grandmother's stories with critical interest, or so he called it. He would ask a thousand questions, see all the possibilities and memorize every detail to go over in his mind later, trying to find a flaw in the prince, anything that would prove him vile or arrogant or dumb or... whatever.

He learned that the prince liked beauty, art, especially architecture. He learned that the prince dreamed of designing a palace so beautiful that no one could ever forget it (him). He learned that the prince was actually smart, that he grasped every piece of knowledge with ease. He learned that the prince was actually a fool, that he would rather eat plants than kill an animal, that he would cry when one of his farm animals died. He learned that the prince was terrified of living alone and, even so, would not run away from the palace.

The dragon who loved knowledge, always jumping from one subject to another, discovered that day a 'subject of study' for years to come. And he never let him go.

-

The dragon soon discovered that he did not like to let go.

He knew the end, he anticipated it. With his senses, even the scent of death was easy to sense, and it had been growing stronger and stronger for some time. He hated it.

He rationalized it. Death was only the passage to another state, another life. Dragons could live hundreds of years and her grandmother had so many that she hadn't counted them for decades. She didn't seem to mind. The dragon shouldn't care so much and yet he felt like covering his nose and stop feeling. With so many years to live, why did it have to be now, when he was so young? He still didn't know anything, didn't understand anything. He certainly didn't understand how to suffer something he'd had all his life and lost, because he'd lost his parents, but he'd never really had them.

She was in a bed then, in her human form, and even then, she was still instructing him.

"You are such a smart dragon," she mused, gently stroking his muzzle with one hand, letting the dragon lean into the touch. "Many such people have large egos and a propensity to act on their own. You are outstanding and possess a broader horizon than ordinary people. This is not a bad thing, but you must take care to have a clearer mind than others. You must understand that vain pursuits are but dust, and that you must discern your path with the greatest of wisdom."

The dragon held on to every piece of knowledge, as always.

He knew this was his last chance, so, as always when he didn't understand something, he asked.

She smiled.

"Hold on to the living, look for connections, explore the world," there was an amused gleam in her eye even then. "As for where to start... you're not bound to anything, the pact was accepted by me, but I think you've already decided the answer."

His grandmother closed her eyes, her breathing a little shallower than before. He had never made connections before, the only one he was holding onto was moments away from being cut and he didn't know if he would ever... if he.... He blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Why did you choose this form in the end?"

His voice was a little hoarser than usual, but it didn't waver.

"It's going to be easier to bury me like this." Such a practical answer could only make them both smile, and the air lightened a little for the first time in days. "And I guess because my beloved held me in this form. It seemed right."

The dragon tilted his head curiously. He was about to ask, again. However, when he opened his snout and there was only silence, he knew.

Death was only the passage to another state, another life. His grandmother would live again, in another place, another time, and perhaps, at some point in that world, they would see each other again.

He didn't care.

For the first time in his life, the dragon wept.

-

The dragon passed the mourning as gracefully as he could, pondering his grandmother's response.

Or so he told himself.

There was nothing to mull over, really.

The moment he heard the sound of the army's footsteps approaching, he knew. His grandmother was no longer there to answer. Dragons were solitary creatures, but this dragon, in that instant, clung to that last thread, so thin it could hardly be considered a connection, and landed in front of the soldiers.

A lapse in his judgment, he thought, because he had no reason to be there.

That day, the dragon understood why humans would fear them.

In just a few minutes, the knights fled.

He heard the prince call out to him and looked away, even more ready to take off.

His subject of study, a lapse in his judgment. It was terrifying to admit, he already knew the answer.

And how could he get close to anyone else —a human, on top of that—, when the connections were bittersweet, treacherous, so easy to sever? They were not governed by logic or reason and, as a dragon, it was his natural impulse to refuse.

However, when he saw the prince slip from the window frame, it was also natural to dive for him.

He was a fool indeed.

The prince, but the dragon too.

Because he stood there while the prince cried for his grandmother. He was warm, so small and fragile next to his form, yet the dragon knew the strength behind that crying.

Somehow, even when the dragon said nothing, he didn't feel so bad anymore.

"Your grandmother said I wasn't going to be alone, did she mean you?"

The prince looked at him with big eyes then. In them, there wasn't a trace of fear towards him, if only...

A stupid, foolish shred of hope.

And the dragon knew he would not have a peaceful day beside the prince, as his guardian or as his... acquaintance. After years of hearing about him, he came to the conclusion that they were very different. If he wanted to get close to anyone, in all of Teyvat, he would surely find a more appropriate person. However, neither of them would know his grandmother like they both did and... at the end of the day, they probably wouldn't be as interesting as the prince.

He caught himself nodding like a fool before thinking twice.

"I was told your name is Alhaitham. I am Kaveh, pleased to meet you."

Kaveh always said he was unlucky. Alhaitham never cared about that. He always insisted that his luck would make up for both of them. How could he not believe it?

That day, under the clear afternoon sky, Alhaitham chose his first connection and it would go on forever. 

Chapter Text

After so long in the making, his connection with Kaveh grew like vines in his heart, creeping into every nook and cranny without him being able to do anything to stop it. For Kaveh was everything he imagined, but he was also more, much more. Alhaitham had never really felt alone before his grandmother's death, but then he realized what he was missing. He let Kaveh fill his silences like someone relaxing to a soft melody. And he didn't respond because, well, who would interrupt such a sweet melody for no reason?

He didn't know anyone else, because he had never bothered to meet them, and yet he already knew that anyone else would pale before Kaveh.

It was Kaveh, just Kaveh.

Kaveh, taking every opportunity to lean against him, share his warmth. Kaveh, talking to him about architecture, showing him every detail with that gleam of excitement in his eyes. Kaveh, lovely, beautiful Kaveh, consuming his every thought and, at the same time, making him feel more awake than ever.

-

Dragons appreciate their space. Alhaitham lived in a cave, and there weren't many places that would accommodate a dragon of his size. Actually, he didn't dislike it. His very presence made it warm and there was plenty of room for his books and treasures. It was away from most of the annoying noises.

Truth be told, Alhaitham didn't even like to go out much, he did still, time and time again, to see his prince.

Alhaitham never gave much thought to shapeshifting, not because he was attached to his dragon form in any particular way —no, it was comfortable, he was used to it, there wasn't much more to it than that—, but because he had never had a reason to do so.

At some point, he accepted that the dragons' shape-shifting ability was a reproductive ability. Dragons were solitary creatures, so a few centuries ago getting two dragons to meet and become mating partners proved complicated enough for them to learn to shape-shift and reproduce by other means. Alhaitham had only been lucky enough to be born into a world where he had the ability and hadn't used it for anything other than making himself smaller and reading more fragile books.

So, since he hadn't thought much about using his human form, he hadn't thought much about changing his residence either.

If Kaveh asked him later, Alhaitham would always say he did it for the library.

"If you could shape-shift, I could show you the other places and maybe... youcouldliveherewithme," Kaveh said it so quickly, under his breath, as if he feared Alhaitham would think it was silly of him to even suggest the possibility, and he blushed in that beautiful shade of pink that rose from his neck to his cheeks, so lovely framed by his blond hair.

He covered up at once, of course, because Kaveh was so silly he was embarrassed to be ashamed, but Alhaitham's retinas had already stored that image and those words in his brain, making his heart beat so fast that Alhaitham was glad Kaveh wasn't a dragon.

That afternoon, Alhaitham flew like lightning to his cave and began practicing.

Most dragons only tended to change their appearance when they found a mating partner. Alhaitham had always thought of himself as someone quite apart from others, be they dragons or other species. In this, he was the same as everyone else.

It would have taken him much less time perfecting his form were it not that the image of Kaveh kept coming to him, over and over again, with the "mate" tag over him, and he found it impossible to control himself, even though he knew full well that Kaveh had to choose him as well, which he would never do if he FAILED TO MASTER THAT FORM.

Ah, be excused if he was so impatient that he didn't bother to stay with a single cock or get himself clothes —the clothes actually were uncomfortable, he wasn't cold and Kaveh didn't seem too disinterested either, the way he looked at him before he got shy.

So Alhaitham turned in bed that night and looked at the lump that was Kaveh under the sheets. He knew he could do a better job than the sheets keeping Kaveh warm and that thought alone made him remember how it felt to hold Kaveh. It was only an instant, but they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Kaveh was so small in his arms and he smelled so good, even up close, where any unpleasant smell would be magnified. He could still feel it. Alhaitham wondered what it would be like to be skin against skin and had to hold his hand to keep from reaching out and touching the curve of his back.

'Only couples can look at each other naked.'

Alhaitham had already chosen his mate and they hadn't chosen him back.

That night he didn't sleep, praying to every god in Teyvat for one chance.

Just one.

He would not waste it.

-

Alhaitham found that it was very easy to bother Kaveh. He only had to look at him for a little more than five seconds and the prince was already squirming in his seat. Trying to get close to him like Kaveh used to do when he was in his dragon form was impossible. If he tried to hug him, Kaveh would turn as red as a tomato and wriggle out of his grip with some excuse. Alhaitham wanted to be with Kaveh, so he took every available opportunity but... Alhaitham realized that even though it bothered him, even though it made his heart beat like crazy —out of fear or because his feelings mirrored Alhaitham's, how could he know?—, Kaveh would never ask him to stop. Not that he wanted Kaveh to reject him, he'd hate that, but every time he thought someone else might take advantage of him if that was the case, he gritted his teeth.

"You don't have to agree to everything I do," Alhaitham commented once, hiding his face behind a book so Kaveh wouldn't see the small tension in his jaw that betrayed his fear.

Kaveh was concentrating on his drawing, so he only made a soft acknowledging sound, the kind he made when he wasn't really paying attention.

"You can tell me if you want to be alone, you know?," the dragon insisted.

And what would become of him if Kaveh wanted him away, if he really bothered him so much that he didn't want to try anymore? He would live, he would have to live, but the world would be a little duller, a little more boring, always a shadow of what it could be when he was with Kaveh.

The pencil Kaveh was drawing with paused and his heart clenched before it began to beat fast, unconsciously synchronizing with Alhaitham's. Fear. Why would Kaveh be afraid?

"Why would you say that?" His voice was full of nervousness, even though he tried to hide it with a soft tone. "Do you want to be alone?"

Alhaitham liked to be alone, before, he still did. He liked the peace that came with getting caught up in his thoughts and knowing he had control over everything going on around him. Being with Kaveh was like being alone, in the sense that, no matter how noisy Kaveh was, a presence impossible to ignore or control, that peace was still there. Being with Kaveh was like being alone, but better.

"Not especially," Alhaitham replied matter-of-factly.

"Then it's all right!" Kaveh settled the matter with a tap of his palm on the table, offended. "If you don't want to be alone, why would I want to be alone? Don't talk nonsense..."

"Hm."

Kaveh pretended to be annoyed as usual and went back to staring at his drawing. However, his leg began to shake, nervously, and his heart didn't calm down again for a long while. Fear.

Alhaitham suddenly felt foolish for not noticing it sooner. He just didn't think it was that bad.

Kaveh was terrified of being alone.

Kaveh was so afraid of him leaving that he was holding back from saying anything that might push him away, and, by hiding his feelings, he was also pushing Alhaitham away. Just telling him it was okay to express himself wasn't working, as he would dismiss his comment with an 'it's okay' and not change. It would get the dragon more and more annoyed each time.

So Alhaitham pressed and pressed until Kaveh burst out.

"Nonono, your lousy taste is the only one to blame. You can't seriously like that damn statuette you brought yesterday, can you? It looks like it had been stepped on and dragged across the ground, it wouldn't even have been considered anything like pretty had it been new. And leave those chickens! How did you think I could eat so many—?"

And Alhaitham smiled, fangs and all, for this scolding was his victory, a gift to Kaveh.

"What are you smirking at?"

"You're cute when you're angry."

Kaveh was so cute when he set boundaries. Alhaitham knew he wouldn't mind even if those boundaries ultimately drove him away. Luckily, he suspected that wouldn't be the case. At that moment, Kaveh's heart seemed as happy as his own. Alhaitham was sure, storing that rhythm in his memory.

"You don't have to put up with everything I do if you don't like it. I'm not going anywhere."

Alhaitham also complained when Kaveh made him hide his 'gifts' and take on more household chores, but he knew he would have done a thousand and one more things just to make him happy.

He did them later.

Again and again.

Alhaitham, who had never cared for others, learned to give, wholeheartedly, as if it were second nature.

Kaveh, who denied himself the slightest pleasure, learned to receive and even to ask, with shining eyes and a little pout on his lips.

But no matter how much they gave to each other, Kaveh still denied himself what he wanted most in the world.

-

One hot day after they had become the most cloying couple in Teyvat, Kaveh asked him to take him back to the lake near the palace. This time, no one interrupted them, so Kaveh dragged him to play in the water with him, urged him to explore the forest around them and, when the sun was already setting, they sat down to cook.

They had brought the ingredients to make pita pocket and, as Kaveh loved freshly made food, they gathered some branches to ignite them. It wasn't ideal, but they were having fun and didn't care.

Alhaitham crouched down next to the branches and blew. Fire came out of his mouth in a small flare that left his mouth sparking, igniting the branches and painting the world in warm colors again.

When he looked up, Kaveh was staring at him with wide open eyes full of wonder. Alhaitham smiled.

"What's wrong?," he asked, resting his chin on his knees to admire the way the flames painted his Kaveh's face.

Kaveh finally reacted, his face turning a soft pink that had nothing to do with the fire that illuminated them.

"I-It's just that..." he stammered as if he had been caught him doing something wrong. It was adorable how Kaveh could still get flustered as if they hadn't spent weeks loving each other in every corner of the palace. "I'd never seen someone manipulate elemental powers so closely."

"Hm..." Thinking about it, he didn't usually use his powers when he was in his human form. He had no reason to. He always felt the Pyro wasn't his style. "So it has nothing to do with who's using the powers? How disappointing."

"Hey," Kaveh hit him on the arm in embarrassment, "Of course it does! I mean, you looked very handsome, okay? But it's got nothing to do with it!" He folded his arms with a pout that made Alhaitham burst out laughing. He looked so cute like that that Alhaitham couldn't resist pulling his arm to make him fall on top of him.

Kaveh let out a squeal as the dragon buried himself in his neck to tickle him with his breath, hands on his sides to hold him in place, and struggled to free himself. "Seriously! Hahahah... You don't... hashhahsa... have a Vision, right? Hahahahahhh... Haitham!

Alhaitham left a little kiss on his neck before giving a breath to his very adorable partner, who was already panting slightly with a reluctant smile on his beautiful lips. He couldn't help but give him one more peck before responding, managing to make Kaveh frown in mock annoyance.

"Not all creatures need Visions to manipulate elemental powers," he replied in a soft voice. "For me, it came naturally."

Kaveh pondered this for a moment, unconsciously settling back on Alhaitham's legs now that he was no longer attacking him.

"It makes sense. You don't look like a Pyro Vision holder."

"You think so?," Alhaitham asked, bathing in the warm feeling that settled in his stomach when he realized that Kaveh had come to the same conclusion. "And what kind of Vision do you think I should have?"

Kaveh didn't even hesitate before answering, poking his chest with a finger:

"Dendro." His smile was so bright that the flames were no rival to it. "It goes with your desire for knowledge. I'm sure you'd make a great scholar. Did you know that the Akademiya is in the capital? I heard you could study anything there. Wouldn't it be fun...?" he stopped himself, as if he had realized something, and his voice came out much less animated when he continued, "Wouldn't it be fun to go there?"

Alhaitham watched Kaveh's expression with a frown. He had an idea of what Kaveh was thinking. He agreed that it would have been more appropriate if he could manipulate the Dendro and would have surely attended the Akademiya if he were a human, but there was no way that kind of life would call to him one bit if he had to leave Kaveh here alone for that.

"Not much." He wrapped his arms around Kaveh's waist in a tighter embrace and nuzzled into the cleavage of his blouse, snuggling against his prince's soft skin. "What kind of Vision would you have?," He asked against it, trying to change the subject.

Kaveh tensed and Alhaitham knew he had asked the wrong question.

"Ah... I don't know," he answered, forcing his voice to sound animated despite himself. "I don't think I'm that special."

And that was the wrong answer.

What was Kaveh but the most special person in the world?

-

Alhaitham could have lived in that palace with Kaveh for eternity. He would fight entire armies to keep Kaveh's hand by his side, all his life. For Kaveh it was not so. His true desire he buried inside, so deep inside that Kaveh would never have admitted it aloud, and yet it always resurfaced in his gaze.

When he leaned in the tower window with his eyes on the horizon, when he wandered around the village, when he smiled after being thanked for his help as an architect.

All in contrast to the discouragement that hung over him whenever the royal palace was mentioned.

Kaveh never asked for too much. Hugs, kisses, to be buried in his arms until they became one. Even those things were nothing more than stolen moments just because he was a prince, and wasn't that stupid?

What right did others have over a prince they abandoned to his fate when he was but a child?

Alhaitham held Kaveh against his chest so many nights that he forgot what it was like to live without him, and the way Kaveh held him back, as if Alhaitham was his lifeline, he knew it was the same for the prince.

His prince.

Kaveh didn't want to be a king, didn't want to rule, didn't want to strive for others anymore. He just wanted to be loved for himself, to be a real architect and live a peaceful life, as his grandmother had once wished them.

Alhaitham knew him better than anyone else, so he knew before Kaveh admitted it.

He figured he would have time, and when Kaveh recognized what he truly wanted, they could leave.

It didn't take him long to realize that he should have kidnapped him then.

Chapter Text

Kaveh could have told Alhaitham right then and there and the dragon would have taken him away without anyone being able to do anything to stop it, but no. He chose to go to the palace and that was it. Kaveh had options, Alhaitham did not, so he followed the prince to the royal palace.

If anything, Kaveh was right.

The dragon hated the royal palace.

It was noisy, filled with people who thought they were too important, frequented by others who were too eager to take advantage of their king. Humans, just as Alhaitham had imagined them. Selfish, foolish, always eager for more and more power. Yet Kaveh defended them.

So he could only watch his light burn out a little more, all the while pretending that was what he wanted.

-

Alhaitham spent a lot of time in the library. He would drown himself in books trying to learn something that might help Kaveh.

Back then, he was pretending too.

He pretended so hard that he didn't hate every second away from Kaveh.

-

Those days, Alhaitham wasn't feeling like himself. Seeing Kaveh surrounded by people all the time had him clenching his teeth, trying so hard not to snarl at them and snatch his partner away. There was something purely instinctual in the way he couldn't help but impregnate Kaveh with his scent as they cuddled on bed. It was stupid, but there was this part of him that craved for everyone to just know whose Kaveh was.

And thus he found himself sneaking into the throne room right when Kaveh was saying goodbye to the last person of the day.

"You don't look very well," he commented in his usual tone, as if he wasn't eager to wipe every sign of tiredness from his beloved's face (oh, how he was, how he wanted to sink into Kaveh's skin).

"I'm sorry I can't be the epitome of beauty like you," Kaveh growled, looking away.

Kaveh did that a lot these days. Twist his words until he found a way to turn them into an insult. Alhaitham had come so far, only to have that stupid palace drag them back down, further below than where they had once been. He wanted to prove to Kaveh that it wasn't true, none of what they were trying to make him believe.

He was on Kaveh before the king could finish apologizing.

"Let me correct myself." His leg was about to brush against Kaveh's, eager to reach between them and press, as he gathered a stray lock of hair to tuck it behind his ear. "You look amazing. If anyone is the epitome of beauty, it's you."

"Haitham..."

When Kaveh wanted to avert his gaze to the guards, his fingers intertwined gently with his king's and Alhaitham leaned over the throne, covering him with his body. No one else had the right to see him like this, blushing with parted, expectant lips. Alhaitham made sure his breath brushed against his ear when he said:

"I could fuck you right now."

Alhaitham had never thought it before, but he knew it was true the moment Kaveh shuddered beneath him. He could take him right there, in front of all the guards. Gods, he would take him in front of all those stupid nobles and, when they all knew Kaveh was his king, they would never dare bother him again. For, if they did, Alhaitham would be so delighted to smash their faces to the ground.

He couldn't help but be pleased when Kaveh chased the guards away and pulled at him, making Alhaitham at last fall into the hollow between his legs as they pressed their lips together, eager to stick his tongue in his mouth. Alhaitham would have allowed it without further ado, were it not that he saw the dark circles under Kaveh's eyes and the fire that threatened to consume him subsided for just a moment, concern slowing his pace.

"You look tired," he grumbled softly, though he was already reaching for Kaveh's thighs and relishing how easily they stretched open at his touch. He couldn't help the soft grunt of satisfaction.

"Then take care of me," Kaveh ordered, pulling down his pants to release his erections, his pupils dilated.

It was so obvious that Kaveh wanted him. As in, at that very moment, filling him with his cocks, and the fire inside Alhaitham was getting big again.

"You won't be able to do anything if you exhaust yourself," he insisted, tugging on Kaveh's leg to send him sprawling on the cushions of the throne. It was almost as if Kaveh didn't have a problem in the world anymore when, with his free hand, Alhaitham stroked the bulge over his pants and the blond groaned. "You should get more rest."

"We won't talk about it now, okay? Just love me, that helps."

"And then you'll rest."

Alhaitham practically ripped his pants off. Even without him holding Kaveh's legs open, the prince himself stretched toward him, biting his lips as he watched the dragon bring his two cocks together to pump them a little.

More precum leaked out of his already hard cocks just at the sight of Kaveh stretched out beneath him unashamedly, so eager that he drew his fingers to his entrance and began to open himself for Alhaitham. So good. So his to take there on the throne that sought to snatch him from him.

"Now fuck me," Kaveh begged. With a provocative smile, he added, his voice already husky and inviting, "That's an order."

His, his, his. How could Alhaitham refuse when those words made his cocks throb with desire in his hand?

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

This too was a testament to his love.

Alhaitham fit so easily between Kaveh's legs that it was unfair to everyone else, knowing they could never have someone the way Alhaitham had Kaveh. Alhaitham wanted to show him off, make everyone jealous of how much they belonged to each other.

Pushing inside Kaveh inch by inch, feeling his partner's walls enveloping him so well, Alhaitham felt wild.

It wasn't normal. Alhaitham was used to the heat. As a dragon, fire was second nature to him. Yet there he was, burning at the soft sound Kaveh let out when he filled him to the brim. He couldn't think straight.

"Ah, the condom...," Kaveh gasped.

Something, something about him not being able to hold the aphrodisiacs when... The point was, his insides squeezed Alhaitham so deliciously when he realized that Alhaitham couldn't help but growl lowly at the prospect of pulling away from him.

He was going to —he was about, pulling away a little, but he brushed against Kaveh's prostate for an instant, Kaveh's eyelashes quivered, he bit his lips in a poor attempt to swallow a moan, so erotic a sight that Alhaitham thrust back inside and there died his restraint.

He was burning and he knew that only Kaveh could give him any relief.

He thrust forward harder, faster, and leaned over the throne to hover over his Kaveh. The king did not speak again, at least not properly, not with anything but moans and groans.

Alhaitham traced the outline of his neck down to his chest with his mouth, marking it with kisses and nibbles alike. He drew circles on his back and pushed Kaveh against him, their abdomens pressing together and gods, Alhaitham knew he wouldn't be able to stop when Kaveh's belly bulged with his cocks against it. How cute would he look with a different kind of bulge?

No one could deny what was his when he had permanently marked it.

Kaveh, eyelashes fluttering against the force of sensation, stretched his arms out to wrap them around Alhaitham's neck, pleading with his eyes. And Alhaitham knew Kaveh wouldn't forget this moment, carved in his mind for forever. When he sat on this throne, speaking to his subjects, he would have to remember how good it felt to be torn apart by his cocks.

Alhaitham wasn't even possessive and yet....

"You take me so well," he growled, burying his claws in Kaveh's ass as he ravaged it. "So perfect for me."

Kaveh's moan came out shaky as the king made a sweet attempt to thrust back.

"Mine," he declared, tearing his way to his mouth.

Beneath him, Kaveh gesticulated the word and there was no stopping his arousal by then.

'Yours.'

Alhaitham captured Kaveh's lips in a searing kiss and it was as if they didn't need air because they could take it from each other. He didn't need air when he had Kaveh's fingers buried in his hair. Kaveh panted so cute, he shuddered so cute.

Alhaitham buried himself deep inside Kaveh before he finished with a roar. He stayed there, savoring his lips in the ensuing waves of arousal.

Kaveh loved him filling him, it always managed to make him come along him and this was no exception. He felt it in the nails digging into his neck, in how tight he got around him. Alhaitham knew Kaveh would be just as good to him when he filled him with his little dragons.

"Hai- Ah, Haitham-" Kaveh couldn't finish his words when Alhaitham kept biting his lips, nor did his eyes come to focus at all. "Big-"

"Yes," Alhaitham mumbled and ran his tongue over the bites that had left Kaveh's lips red. "That's what happens when you have two dragon cocks inside your pretty tight ass..."

Kaveh tried to complain for half a second longer, and then his eyes rolled back and he whimpered so shamelessly that Alhaitham wanted to go for another round. Like, right then and there.

He couldn't.

Who would have guessed?

"I'm stuck."

Alhaitham sent Kaveh further towards the throne, pushing his legs against his chest to better analyze the situation. The bases of his cocks were swollen, effectively trapping him inside his partner.

"That's new," Alhaitham commented nonchalantly and devoured the way Kaveh sought to look offended.

Alhaitham pulled a little to no avail, so he tried thrusting inside and it was only the minimum of friction, but Kaveh couldn't help the moan that escaped him then because apparently the knot was rubbing against his prostate and Kaveh looked so beautiful, with his rosy skin and his eyes glassy, that Alhaitham had no choice but to keep moving like that until the swelling passed. Then only a few more times because Alhaitham had missed him so much and Kaveh didn't complain, really willing to allow himself to be bred over and over again even after Alhaitham had filled him with his eggs, so why hold back?

Kaveh was so well fucked by the time they were done, well into the night, with a blank stare and stray drool around his mouth, that Alhaitham had to fix his clothes and carry him back to his bed.

Even as he ran a damp cloth over his body to clean him, Kaveh leaned into his touch lazily and the dragon's chest tightened.

The mating instincts in a dragon were only activated with a mate chosen from deep within.

And Alhaitham had chosen Kaveh, incorrigible, creative and gorgeous.

Down to the abyss and back.

-

Instincts could beg every star in the firmament and it would still be impossible to own a person.

Alhaitham thought he understood that.

He was fine with Kaveh being his own person, he even preferred it.

That never meant he was okay with losing him, little by little. Watching him slip through his hands, how nothing he did, no matter how he tried to get close, it was all wrong.

The next morning, Kaveh didn't wake up when they went to get him up and Alhaitham, remembering how rough he had been, suggested they let him sleep a while longer. It was simple, for him. Between making a few humans wait and letting Kaveh rest a minute longer, his choice was clear. It was only about a half hour longer, Kaveh's internal clock be damned, and yet, he was so stressed when he realized.

"Kaveh, you're still limping," Alhaitham pointed out at last, because the whole thing was so ridiculous to him. "Didn't you say you were going to rest?"

Kaveh turned to him so angrily, his jaw tense, that glint in his eyes that appeared when he wanted to cry —he wasn't crying, but he was shaking as if he were.

"This is not about me!," he spat and Alhaitham almost took a step back. "Look beyond yourself for once, will you? You..." he didn't finish his sentence then. Instead, he grunted and stomped off.

It hurt.

It annoyed him.

He wouldn't even have blinked if he'd called him selfish before. He used to be. But now...

His whole world, everything he was, always encompassed Kaveh. How could he not understand? How could someone so smart not realize how much it hurt to see Kaveh abandon himself?

If Alhaitham had to think of 'others,' Kaveh...

He couldn't say it, so it grew inside Alhaitham.

'Don't you dare touch me.'

They were so fine before.

'Ask for another room to be arranged for you.'

Alhaitham read so much about politics around those times. He used what little time they had to try to convince Kaveh because none of it made sense and in the end, people were selfish and stupid and no one would appreciate it.

'Do you think I'm going to sit quietly and let everything go on as it is? I'm not you.'

Kaveh always seemed so fragile, so small when they argued, but Alhaitham could no longer afford to hug him because he was rejected, every single time. It hurt so much. The fire would always get to him, leaving burns in his heart. Kaveh would never notice.

'I'm not turning against anyone.'

Yet it seemed he had turned his back on Alhaitham so long ago. All because of people who didn't care about Kaveh, who didn't know him, could never understand him like he did. They just wanted a perfect figure. Kaveh was so determined to be everything they wanted, unaware that the farther away he got from that figure...

'So you'll leave too?'

Alhaitham had only opened his heart of his own free will once in his life and he knew it would only open once in forever.

'If you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself.'

Alhaitham was a dragon, after all. He always held his fire more than others.

'You're as selfish as they said!'

Nevertheless, that fire...

'I wish you had never gone to the palace.'

It consumed him from within.

Alhaitham held his chest, where Kaveh had pushed him. He didn't feel it to the touch, but it ached so intensely at that moment, he might as well have hit him with the force of ten tons.

He could not breathe.

Alhaitham was arguing why those humans didn't deserve Kaveh giving up his life for them.

At that moment, he realized.

He wasted Kaveh's time too, because, after everything they've been through, he didn't deserve him either.

He asked for just one chance and let it go.

He closed his hand on his chest, locking up the burning.

Kaveh didn't deserve any of this, not to be burdened with the kingdom or those stupid governors and nobles, not a partner who all he could do was hurt him, not someone selfish.

"Good."

Even as he turned and walked away, every fiber of his body still begged for Kaveh.

Never, not for a second, did that sorrow stop again.

Chapter Text

How could he call it a separation when Kaveh was always in his thoughts?

The only presence he had left was his scent, the soft padisarah scent that seemed to be integrated into his being, but clung to Alhaitham like a second skin for so long. It disappeared so quickly too, relentlessly —it was to be expected, it had been days since they had been together, and yet....

Alhaitham plucked every padisarah he saw and lay down among them.

His mind was so full of Kaveh, of his gestures, his smile, his words. If he closed his eyes, he could still imagine how it would feel to have him by his side.

It wasn't the same.

So he shredded the flowers and considered flying to Port Ormos and doing the same to that stupid governor.

It wouldn't be hard and he wouldn't feel remorse either. Most people wouldn't feel remorse after swatting a fly that kept nagging no matter how many times you forgave it.

But Kaveh did.

He could also imagine how much more he would hate him if he did that for him.

So he lay down again and continued to sulk for a few more days.

He could go back and apologize. Every part of his being begged for Kaveh and perhaps if he did that, he would at least be worthy of being near him again —he would have dealt with the unbearable desire to be something else if only to bask in the king's light. Again, every time he thought about doing that, his stomach churned and there was no way he could muster the strength to move.

He would apologize for the way he expressed himself, and gods knew he thought that conversation over a thousand times, even though he knew it was pointless, that it only served to hurt himself because he couldn't go back to the past. But he could never apologize for the content of his words.

Alhaitham was right and he was not going to validate Kaveh's self-destructive tendencies.

Kaveh didn't even want to be there, Kaveh didn't even want to be king, and as much as he wanted to help others, Kaveh didn't even want to have all that range of responsibility.

Yet he was still there because... there was no one else.

How could there be no one else?

"Is he dead?," asked an energetic voice curiously.

"Dehya, to put it that way is a bit..." began another, softer voice.

Alhaitham felt them approaching from afar. He had expected the two women to pass him by, though in the end it seemed too much to expect them to leave him alone as he lay stiffly by the side of the road, lying on withered padisarah petals and had stray leaves here and there on his body.

He opened his eyes and sat up with a start, causing the woman who had her brown hair pulled back to cower behind the feline-eared woman. Who must have been Dehya brought a hand toward the handle of her Claymore, but did not immediately draw it. She was sure she could do it in an instant if she needed to. Interesting.

"Well, apparently not," Dehya replied to herself then, raising her eyebrows.

"If there were no king, who would rule?" If they were going to bother him, they could at least answer a simple question.

"...Huh?"

The two women blinked in confusion.

Alhaitham didn't change his expression as he waited for an answer, which only added to the women's bewilderment. Normally, he would have looked it up in some book, but there wasn't any book out there, was there?

"My lady, we'd better go," Dehya suggested, wrapping her arm around the shorter woman's shoulders and urging her to move.

He figured he'd just have to go get a book.

He didn't need to.

They didn't get very far before Alhaitham's stomach growled and the 'lady' stopped with a worried look.

"Wait." And she turned, ignoring Dehya's stare, to approach Alhaitham again. She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a bag of cookies which she handed to Alhaitham with a smile.

"Those were for us," Dehya complained softly.

Curious. There were other people like him.

Alhaitham took a cookie and asked again:

"So? If there were no king, who would rule?"

This time, the cookie woman answered:

"The Archons."

Alhaitham had heard of the Archons, like everyone else. But this was Sumeru.

"Hasn't Lesser Lord Kusanali not made an appearance for years?," he complained.

He had no use for a goddess who didn't care about people. Not unless he had a way to bring her out of her exile and into Kaveh's position. Well, surely, if he thought hard enough, he could find a way to blackmail a goddess.

"Ah, no, you see..."

-

Alhaitham didn't pay much more attention than that to Lesser Lord Kusanali back then. He had nothing to get from a goddess he had no way of contacting on his own.

The second best option was cruel, Alhaitham was aware of that.

He knew how much the whole situation would stress Kaveh, how much he would question himself when the people he wanted to protect turned against him, but... he was cruel already, wasn't he? Only someone cruel would be able to hurt Kaveh when all he wanted was to be comforted —only someone cruel would realize it too late. Only someone cruel could still hope, deep in his heart, that this would earn him the forgiveness of his king.

So he put the books aside and learned from the humans.

He learned more of what they wanted, what would motivate them.

At some point, he traveled to Vimara and caught the signs of disgust at Azar's lies, realized what was next. He would have invaded Azar's mansion and snapped his neck himself, but that wouldn't do the trick. Nor would it make it to get rid of a nobody who had seen him in the city. If Azar knew who he was, well, he would let him fear. He deserved that much.

He learned from the humans and used that knowledge to guide them in the direction he wanted.

He talked to the right people, he defeated the right people.

Nations arose and empires fell on their own, but they didn't have time, not when this kingdom threatened to consume Kaveh if he did nothing.

So Alhaitham moved the pieces, expedited the process.

'Just like that', everything started to fall into place.

-

"The king left the royal palace."

Alhaitham couldn't help but freeze when he was first told the news.

Kaveh had never been a slacker. Alhaitham stood by his side, watched him stagger in exhaustion to bed in the wee hours of the morning. He never found a way to make him rest without arguing (or fucking, when they still did that).

That same Kaveh left the royal palace without further ado.

It was easy to tie up the ends with some more information.

Alhaitham lived more than a year without Kaveh in his life, but never without his presence. He psyched himself not to see him again until he set foot on the battlefield, imagining the scene over and over again in his mind. The image that had already been carved in his mind was destroyed the instant he imagined what Kaveh must be like.

Within the walls of the palace that had been his home, Kaveh silently dreamed again and again of freedom only to lock himself away again of his own free will.

Alhaitham held his longing for months, put chains on his desire to see Kaveh.

It was unwanted, inappropriate, selfish.

Was it?

When Kaveh, in his desire for freedom, sought the one place they had both made their own, was it?

After that, he simply could not sit still. He was doing all that for Kaveh, so it's not like he could ignore the constant longing. It was all to Kaveh, for Kaveh, and everything he tried to hold back was suddenly like an avalanche that desired, loved, pleaded for. Every second away from Kaveh was a second wasted, one more instant of all-consuming agony.

It was even worse to know that Kaveh was suffering on his own —and it was obvious, because Kaveh had never learned to suffer otherwise.

If Kaveh wanted him, if he needed even a part of him, if an instant in his presence could grant him relief, who was Alhaitham to deny him?

-

Alhaitham soon discovered that Kaveh made escapades to drink in the city.

The first night he let his wishful thinking drag him to the tavern, he sat and drummed his fingers on the table as he waited for his drink. Even with the headphones Kaveh had made for him on, it was as if every sound pierced his brain. Alhaitham, ever so self confident, finished his wine in one gulp and took off.

He did the same thing a couple of nights after that.

Kaveh had a voice that was special to Alhaitham. It stood out in the crowd, like the song of a nightingale in a city. Yet Alhaitham did not hear him utter a word in all the nights he was there.

The absence of sound could be unsettling, painful, but it was to be expected, a constant.

That constant was broken with a shout that night.

"Today we drink until we pass out!," Kaveh announced with a smile that could barely be seen from under his hood. "I'm paying!"

The drunks around cheered him on. Alhaitham was the only one there whose heart faltered. It was wrong, it was so wrong. He heard Kaveh talking to more people that night, all happiness, carefreeness.

He was so different from Kaveh.

At first, Alhaitham couldn't put his finger on what it was that puzzled him so much.

The night went on, people started to leave and Kaveh was still there. He could hear the smile in his voice and he was talking, chatting about anything with Cyno. He sounded wrong, though. Hollow. An actor who, as good as he was, didn't understand his character. Except that Kaveh was not a character.

Alhaitham sensed the exact moment Kaveh was going to get up, end the night, and slid into the seat across from him.

All his nerves on edge, he had to hold his breath the instant their gazes met because if he had any more of Kaveh he would end up exploding from overstimulation.

The Kaveh he listened to that night, Kaveh would always say he was a shell of himself, but Alhaitham never saw him that way. When he allowed himself to suffer, when he spoke of all that had happened, he was so hopelessly Kaveh that Alhaitham's heart shattered with his.

Alhaitham held Kaveh as he broke down in tears in his arms and later clung to him, holding him steady as they rode back to the palace.

Kaveh had overcome so much on his own, but that didn't mean he had to. Ever so afraid, he accepted Alhaitham with open arms. And the dragon, when he had Kaveh cuddling him half asleep, his breathing calm on his neck, couldn't but feel like the worst person on the planet. Being alone, every instance destroyed Kaveh a little more, every worry sinking into his skin like daggers.

It must have been why he refused to let go of Alhaitham even after they'd already arrived. Cyno stood in the doorway as he tucked a half unconscious Kaveh into bed that night. He was latching on to him like a tick even with his eyes closed. It would have been no problem for Alhaitham to get him off, yet that was Kaveh. Kaveh who, in his drunkenness, still needed him, even if just a little.

"Kaveh," he murmured, his voice so soft that he was speechless for an instant. He always remembered Kaveh, but rarely thought about what he was like being with Kaveh. Then he could sound like this. "You need to sleep."

Kaveh groaned softly, wrapping his neck even tighter, and shook his head vehemently before stopping with a grimace.

"You'll leave," he grumbled under his breath. He affirmed.

He was right. Alhaitham had to leave. He had to. But. He was never strong enough to do so when Kaveh asked him to stay, and it's just that Kaveh, his Kaveh, would wither before he would ask for someone else.

"I won't leave," he promised in a whisper.

Kaveh had him in an embrace that forced him to put his arms around Kaveh's sides lying on the bed, drawing him closer with each tug that they were now only inches away from each other. Kaveh had his eyes closed already, fighting sleep. It would have been too easy to steal a kiss from him, to taste those lips he'd been dreaming about for months. They were so close and, gods, how he missed them.

"Hmm." Kaveh opened only one eye, glancing at him as if trying to gauge his sincerity. Alhaitham had not told him so many things and yet Kaveh seemed pleased. A small smile lifted his lips, lighting up Alhaitham's world. "I thought I was going to die today. I'm happy I didn't."

What?

Alhaitham felt that something important had been confessed to him. It was in the way his body reacted to Kaveh's words, the tension and the slight shiver running down his back. Kaveh was in no danger at any time, why would he believe that?

There was a possibility. Real. Terrible. He didn't even want to think about it.

"What do you mean...?"

Kaveh's arms were already slipping limply from his shoulders, his eyes lazily closed. And with the possibility in his mind, Alhaitham's heart flipped over. Only the sound of Kaveh's heart, beating quietly in his dreams, broke through his rising panic and he could breathe again.

He disentangled himself from Kaveh's arms somehow.

He stayed in the palace somehow.

He pretended he was unaffected by Kaveh somehow.

It was just that Kaveh needed him.

That alone he had to know.

Just that and he went through with his plan somehow.

Chapter Text

Holding onto Kaveh was as natural as breathing.

When Kaveh felt bad, he would hold all that frustration firmly, without flinching. He would never consciously show it. Even he didn't realize he was digging his nails into his palms until they left marks.

As soon as Alhaitham wrapped his arms around him, Kaveh would deflate like a balloon. Even when he wasn't crying, he would tremble slightly, so gently that only Alhaitham would notice. Kaveh had always been strong, but in these moments, he was so fragile that Alhaitham forced himself to restrain his strength, as if he would break him if he used a little more force than necessary. He could restrain his strength, but his emotions were churning uncontrollably.

How could anyone be happy when Kaveh was suffering?

'Do I even deserve to be king?'

What was the point of being smart? The lump in his throat choked him. He couldn't change the world, he couldn't fix everything for Kaveh, and he couldn't answer either.

'I'm not going to cry.'

Between his shudders, Kaveh never noticed that the hands that held him so tightly were shaking too.

-

"It is as you thought," Cyno confirmed, leaning back against the hallway wall with his arms crossed. "The desert governors limit their reports. They never trusted the people of the forest much, less so the royal family."

Alhaitham drummed his fingers on his arm, a language he had learned not long ago writing itself on his skin.

"What are the odds that they would collaborate with Kaveh if he tried?"

"If we intend for Kaveh to return to the palace and meet them in person?" Cyno shook his head. "Not much. They're not going to be satisfied with promises, no matter how sincere. They're going to want concrete proof and Kaveh isn't in a position to handle that too, not with the battle just around the corner."

"They won't trust Azar either," Alhaitham considered. The next most powerful in the desert were the Eremite groups and Alhaitham had already secured the support of one of the most important ones. "So that just leaves us."

Alhaitham was not a fan of leadership. It was a constant weight on his shoulders, knowing that he held in his hands the lives of so many people who not only trusted him to give them victory, but also to end the person he cared about most. Keeping people's loyalty was hard enough when you spoke the truth and Alhaitham didn't even have that privilege. Still, he was better at coping than Kaveh.

Cyno sighed, no happier than he was to leave all this to Alhaitham.

"That's how it is."

After all, it hadn't been long since Alhaitham had convinced Cyno to help him. And convince was a strong word. With the General, it was as if he was on trial. It was only fair. Cyno was Kaveh's friend. He wasn't going to expect him to blindly trust him, nor was that what he wanted. And the same was true for Tighnari.

He heard the footsteps before he sensed the presence. With a gesture, he indicated to the General that the conversation was over.

"I see. I'll keep you posted."

The look on Kaveh's face as he spoke to them was curious. His smile was as sweet as ever. Only Alhaitham, titled in Kaveh's facial expressions, could tell there was a certain lingering sadness in the way it did not reach his eyes. That expression found its way back onto his beloved's face quite often those days, but this time it seemed different.

"Hey, how odd to see you together."

If he took Kaveh to the market to apologize for his poor excuse, to remove that emptiness in Kaveh's face or as a poor attempt to ease the blow he would soon receive... why couldn't it be the three of them?

-

Seeing Kaveh being all too familiar with Kaeya stirred a poisonous feeling in his heart. It was unfair to Kaveh, it was horrible of him. Kaveh wasn't his, he was never his, even when his instincts urged him to claim him, to mark Kaveh with his scent so that no one else would ever want to come near him. So that everyone would know what would happen if they tried to take what was not theirs.

Then, as soon as he had Kaveh against the wall, their bodies pressed together in such a way that he could well feel the soft contours of Kaveh's body beneath his, it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened.

Kissing Kaveh was like breathing.

Alhaitham could hold his breath as long as he wanted, reliving his memories as if they were his last breath. Yet the moment he had a try and there was more air so close, so available, how could he let it go so easily?

He could have kept going, he could have ignored any interruptions, he could have taken Kaveh right then and there would have been no army in Teyvat capable of stopping him.

"Maybe we should go back," Kaveh whispered, his voice husky and his lips a sensual red, swollen from the kissing session. Alhaitham felt his body ignite at the sweet temptation, every inch of it stinging because Kaveh had to be his.

"Yes," he blurted back.

He thought they would have time later.

But time and time again, the world had never been that kind to them.

Something changed with that kiss. It left behind a growing need for Kaveh. It was almost impossible to be with Kaveh when his eyes would always fall on every part of his body he had explored in detail at some point, wondering how Kaveh would react if he tried to touch him the same way, if he would smile the same, if he would kiss him back. He knew he could erase the worries from Kaveh's mind if only for a moment, so why not let him?

They didn't talk.

Or Kaveh did not comment again and Alhaitham followed suit.

With desire and love accompanied by guilt, he thought he could do no more. He couldn't accept being reciprocated, not yet, when every gesture turned the truth into something more and more painful, a stab that could destroy everything in a second.

And so, the elephant in the room grew bigger and bigger.

-

Alhaitham was not a big fan of lies, either: he preferred to be straightforward and state the facts. In the end, people would have no choice but to accept them and trust him. However, there was an ease in lying and deceiving when people were too obtuse to listen, and at the end of the day, Alhaitham was more practical than sincere.

He didn't even stammer when talking to the heads of the rebellion or when explaining plans to them. His tone was monotone as he explained to them the formations to take the border town, long term plans. They weren't bad, just inefficient, dragging out the battle that could have been over in a few hours to last for days. And he was still getting compliments, albeit reluctant ones.

He didn't trust the people of the rebellion much more than the nobles and governors, not when both sides wanted to hurt Kaveh. If there was someone...

"They mentioned something curious," the long-haired woman added, tapping her chin after her report.

A group of desert vendors had passed through Vimara not long before Alhaitham and Kaveh infiltrated, they were detained in the city for a few days after their escape and only just returned to the desert, so Dehya took the trouble to chat with them to see if they could get anything interesting.

Dehya was by far a great help, with contacts among the Eremites and the possibility of meeting people from Sumeru City thanks to being Dunyarzad's bodyguard. With her energy, no one would question her asking a few too many questions. The bodyguard was intelligent, an attribute that Alhaitham didn't miss, so he looked up with a questioning glance when Dehya waited for him to respond in some way.

Satisfied with his attention, Dehya leaned across the desk, a twinkle in her eye.

"They said that, quite in passing, they overheard one of the noble family's servants talking about Lesser Lord Kusanali. 'What will they do with Lesser Lord Kusanali now?' or something like that."

"Will they do?" Alhaitham repeated.

There were two possibilities, in that case. They could be talking about the rebel nobles and governors, or they could be talking about royalty, about Kaveh. Kaveh had no way of knowing about Lesser Lord Kusanali, or at least he had never shown any sign of it. They could be talking about one of Azar's many lies, but if anything, it suited Azar that Kaveh had no relation to Archon Dendro and that his people believed the same.

Dehya must have thought something similar, her smile expectant.

Alhaitham was about to say something to make her satisfied with her contribution, but his sight moved to the clock in the wall across from him and saw the moment the clock struck five. Planning a revolution was a complicated job and for that very reason it was necessary to rest when it was time. He was already late to going back.

Besides, he had seen Kaveh's schedule and was sure they could have dinner together that day. He wasn't going to miss it.

"I'll look into it," he concluded, getting up from his chair without further ado.

Dehya raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smirk on her lips as she leaned over the desk to examine his expressionless gaze.

"You always look so happy when you leave, what, is there someone waiting for you at home?"

Alhaitham barely snorted.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't project yourself onto me."

Unlike Dehya, Alhaitham could not wish for such a thing.

-

Kaveh was already at the table when he arrived. He was nodding off, with dark circles under his closed eyes, each spoonful taking him a few minutes. Alhaitham suspected it was because he was falling asleep sitting up. He even lifted an empty spoonful to his mouth.

It wasn't until Alhaitham purposely dragged the chair that Kaveh opened one eye at the sound and frowned when he saw him sit down.

"What are you doing here...?" he growled under his breath, slurring the words, and his eyes closed again.

"Can't I eat?" Alhaitham asked bluntly. His voice did not betray the frown that appeared on his face as a servant came to leave him a plate and cutlery. "I believe I at least granted you that privilege when you lived in my palace."

"No..." Kaveh leaned on his hand to look at him with narrowed eyes. "You don't eat here... when I'm not here... Do you want to bother me?"

Ah, so he had been given away. Alhaitham played dumb, helping himself to food as he thought of an answer.

"Really? Maybe they just don't notice me because I don't need servants to eat."

Kaveh snorted.

"I don't need..." The piece of chicken he'd managed to catch slipped off his fork as he shook it in emphasis and fell to the side of the plate. Kaveh stared at it with the saddest wet puppy dog look Alhaitham had ever seen.

Alhaitham had no choice but to pull his chair close to Kaveh's, poke his chicken and steal a bite.

"Hey!" Kaveh complained, so Alhaitham got a bit more and stuffed it in Kaveh's mouth. Kaveh looked too adorable with a frown as he chewed reluctantly.

"See, you need servants," Alhaitham commented, hiding his smile behind his words.

Kaveh rolled his eyes lazily.

"If you were my servant you would treat me better..."

But Alhaitham always treated Kaveh the best way he could. It was never enough.

Alhaitham wasn't enough.

Without further comment, he spooned the rest of the food into Kaveh's mouth one spoonful after another. When he pulled Kaveh to get him up, the half-asleep king ended up stumbling and falling against his chest.

If he refused to let him walk on his own and carried him to his room, how was Kaveh to remember? He fell asleep on the way, his breathing soft and his heart calm, unlike Alhaitham's. Kaveh wouldn't remember, but it was fine. That warmth, the sweetness of Kaveh's face as he slept in his arms, Alhaitham could not forget them in a hundred years.

-

It was easy to enter Vimara when he was only one, especially one who could leap the walls and pass through the city unnoticed. Meeting Javad was the tricky part. The man was running around directing the servants, almost as busy as Kaveh, but Alhaitham didn't feel the slightest bit sorry for him after he had to wait until nightfall to have a chance to corner him alone.

When he saw the man enter his room, Alhaitham slipped out the window and pushed him against the wall, covering his mouth with his hand. Javad's eyes widened as soon as he saw him, trembling either from the blow he must have taken to his head or from his presence.

"If you scream, I'll cut your throat, is that clear?"

Javad wrapped his hands around his neck and nodded quickly.

"Very well," there was never a compliment with less sincerity. "When you open your mouth, you're going to tell me what you know about Lesser Lord Kusanali."

Javad nodded vigorously.

Alhaitham liked it when he got along with others easily.

He rested his claws dangerously close to the man's jugular before uncovering his mouth. The man didn't even dare to breathe too hard.

"I-Is this for the king?"

Alhaitham narrowed his eyes. Then they didn't understand each other as well as he thought they did. It was a pity. Alhaitham didn't like the smell of blood, it always left a metallic taste in his mouth. Javad held in the shriek even as the claw tore at his skin as a demonstration of what would happen if he continued to stray from the path.

"I am asking you, aren't I?" Alhaitham said, his voice as cold as his gaze.

Javad flinched, his eyes wide, and seemed to consider before answering again.

"She didn't disappear," Javad spoke slowly, fearful of burying himself further in the dragon's claws. "The nobles... have her locked up."

Alhaitham's eyebrow furrowed and his grip loosened slightly. Locked up? Who in their right mind would dare lock up a goddess? And for who knew how long too.

Though Javad was shaking like a leaf and his heart was beating like mad, he didn't seem to be lying. At least he thought he wasn't.

"Where?"

Javad's eyes lowered as if he wanted to look at the claws that were almost buried in his neck. His eyes glistened with tears, but Alhaitham did not release him much more, expectantly.

"I-I don't know," he ended up admitting fearfully. It only took Alhaitham's frown for him to add, his voice trembling, "I-I think at the A-Akademiya. It doesn't look like-that they have her now, but..."

But she was still locked in. And the capital had been the best city to have her locked up before Kaveh arrived. It wasn't a bad theory. The problem was, if he didn't even know that thing for sure, the people involved were most likely keeping all the details secret and there was no point in wasting any more time with Javad. At least he had gotten a bit of information.

"All right." Alhaitham lowered his claws, running them down Javad's shirt. The man grew paler, if that was even possible, as his own blood stained his clothes. Then he stepped back and Javad fell to his knees, unable to support his own weight. "Anything else?"

Javad could barely shake his head. He didn't even dare to grab his neck. Alhaitham did cover his nose.

"I'll be back if I need to ask you anything else, so make sure you stay informed."

If Javad would spend the rest of his days terrified that the dragon would appear through his window, Alhaitham didn't think about it. For him, it was always better to be forewarned.

-

Alhaitham hoped to find even a hint in the Akademiya's records, but the records on the Dendro Archon were paltry, almost non-existent. If there was any information at all, it had to be somewhere else. He estimated that they had been going for about an hour and a half, by which time Alhaitham had moved on to the information on the Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, when he heard Kaveh call out to him, his voice so faint that even he might not have noticed it if not for the fact that it was Kaveh.

Alhaitham turned and saw him pale, squatting on the ground, with one of those expressions that should never ever have crossed Kaveh's face and yet he had seen it several times on him.

It never hurt less.

He never knew what to do.

He could never do anything but hold Kaveh and support him, unable to end his pain the way it mattered, to calm his heart once and for all, to stop the storm his thoughts were plunging into.

The piece of paper that unsettled Kaveh was as simple as it was accusatory and it took all of Alhaitham's will not to tear it to shreds. Again and again, it was as if the world placed all kinds of obstacles in front of them for Kaveh to suffer, and Alhaitham could do nothing to stop it.

"I don't want this," Kaveh forced his words out. He didn't seem to realize it, but he was digging his nails into Alhaitham's arm, desperate, destroyed. "Haitham, I don't want any of this." Alhaitham had expected him to admit this for a long time. He could never have anticipated how much it would break his heart. "It's... I'm horrible. If I could, I'd leave. But I can't. I wish I'd left with you sooner and... and I'm a bad person for wanting to abandon those I helped, aren't I? Haitham, can I only leave if I die?"

And it hurt. It hurt and he couldn't even hug him. What right did he, but another source of stress for Kaveh, have?

He hated that he distrusted his ability, his right as king. If there had to be a king in Sumeru, there was no one more suitable than Kaveh. But that didn't mean, that never meant that....

Alhaitham was trembling too when he went to hold Kaveh's face, who kept his eyes closed as if afraid of him.

"Kaveh, look at me," he pleaded.

Then he hesitated, because when he held his world in his hands, when it was so easy to break the heart of everything he wanted in his life, how could he explain?

There it was again, the perpetual desire to end all his secrets, to tell him the truth, but now it was like a well overflowing with water, repeating his confession over and over again in his mind, urging him to speak at once.

Kaveh could never be a bad person.

It was Alhaitham, always Alhaitham.

He was going to do anything to get him out of there.

"Kaveh, I..."

If only he would hold out a little longer...

"Your Majesty?"

Chance slipped between his hands along with Kaveh.

He blinked in confusion when he saw Kaveh speak to the scholar who interrupted them.

It was like a spell breaking. All the words came back inside him, their taste bitter on his sealed lips.

He walked mechanically to the book he dropped the moment he went to help Kaveh. He shook the imaginary dust off it. He ran his eyes over the pages. He could not absorb a word.

"Haitham, what were you going to say before?," Kaveh asked after a while.

He tried.

He opened his mouth to speak, to tell him everything.

Kaveh deserved it, Alhaitham knew that.

But gods, Alhaitham was so afraid.

The words changed on their own.

"I will investigate about your father."

Chapter Text

Alhaitham thought he was a rational, logical person. He did not let his feelings affect him easily and the same was true of his instincts. He had no time to pay attention to others, much less interest.

He was in the library, reading with his headphones around his neck, when the commotion of excited people reached him from the palace entrance. He refused to put on the headphones, simply because he preferred to read with a soft ambient sound and didn't feel like listening to music, figuring the noise would end soon. It didn't. Soon there were people in the hallways now, gossiping loudly.

"Did you hear that?! No way! In front of everyone too!"

Alhaitham frowned at the shrill voice and put a hand over his headset.

"And the king invited him in too!"

Alhaitham lowered his hand.

"So the king is marrying a Fatui?! Though I must say he's very attractive..."

There was nothing rational in the way Alhaitham got up from his chair and left the library.

Alhaitham didn't think you could form an opinion of others without knowing them. He usually didn't care for everyone, but what he had with Childe was annoyance at first sight. Something about his smile, the familiar way he treated Cyno despite having been fighting with him a few minutes ago, or that he introduced himself as Kaveh's suitor.

He wanted so badly to wipe that smile off his face it was ridiculous.

"I am Alhaitham, Kaveh's personal guard," Alhaitham shamelessly remarked how close he was to Kaveh. "Who are you?"

"Tartaglia, His Majesty's suitor," the Harbinger replied, playing along as if he had the right. "You must be the dragon who looked after His Majesty when he lived in the palace. I heard you were gone. So you came back."

Alhaitham couldn't care a bit if this nobody thought he could challenge him, provoke him.

He was no one in Kaveh's life. He knew nothing of him. He hadn't spent more than a year tearing himself apart inside, learning, working, surviving Kaveh's absence just because he wanted to give him everything he deserved.

And yet he thought he had the right to ask for Kaveh's hand.

It was ridiculous, really.

Why didn't Kaveh stop his bullshit right away?

"Snezhnaya didn't take part in the battles in the palace," Childe's voice sounded muffled through his thoughts, his instincts urging him to slam the pretty boy to the ground. "Why don't we check how it would have come out in a one on one?"

Although his face barely changed in that entire exchange, the air between the two of them was already charged with defiance. As it was, he didn't even have to look for reasons to accept. And yet...

"I have work to do."

Kaveh left.

Alhaitham still loathed those empty eyes that would never understand Kaveh as he did, still felt the energy flowing through his body, seeking to vent against the Fatui, but it was as if his mind cleared, just enough.

The Fatui raised his eyebrows, waiting for his answer. Alhaitham turned and walked away.

-

When Kaveh flirted with Kaeya, Alhaitham was annoyed. He didn't like seeing Kaveh so friendly with a potentially dangerous person. It burned him that Kaveh sought the company of someone who could hurt him.

Or so he told himself at the time, because it was the logical thing to do.

You didn't flirt with someone who could stab you in the back. Not Kaveh, who always carried his heart in his hands.

Then they kissed and that illusion shattered into a thousand pieces.

He could survive with the taste of Kaveh's lips fresh in his memory (not), but not so with his scent tinging Kaveh's. He didn't do it on purpose. Kaveh was messing with his mind without even trying and the dragon unconsciously marked him so eagerly that the scent was still there days later.

It was still there when he went to find him to ask about Childe, then so soft he had to breathe hard to pick it up.

The proof that Kaveh had ever wanted him was fading.

It was like a bucket of cold water.

His instincts went silent as if they had remembered what shame was, not so his feelings.

He was such an idiot.

He was so jealous that Kaveh would even consider letting someone take his place that he wasn't even thinking with his head.

He sighed, regained control and continued to pretend he didn't feel sick when he thought that, someday, Kaveh's natural scent would be overshadowed by someone else's and they wouldn't be for each other anymore.

-

It was obvious that Childe was hiding something, even if Alhaitham hadn't been watching him since he arrived. And the Harbinger was strong enough that someone else who was hiding something would be worried about how the two things might interact with each other.

So, he wasn't going to intervene with Kaveh's choices about this, but, logically, he had to find out what Childe was up to.

He watched until Childe walked away from the training grounds to go to the restroom. When he exited the building, Alhaitham was waiting for him by the door with an unfriendly look on his face. Childe didn't seem surprised by his presence.

"Wow, you're finally going to stop stalking me?"

Alhaitham smiled.

"Let's talk."

There was an unspoken understanding that accompanied the violent electricity that flowed between them. They did not speak again until they were far from the city and from prying eyes. Childe began:

"You know I'm not going to tell you anything if you don't fight with..." He had to shut up in the middle of his words to dodge Alhaitham's quick attack. It was barely an attempt to test the Fatui's speed and Childe wasn't too bad, having time to move a few meters away before the next blow came to graze him. For the first time, a glint crossed those blue eyes. "Right to the action. I like that."

Childe wasn't so bad, but that was only a test, after all. And it was enough to prove that Alhaitham could win this.

He thoroughly enjoyed hitting him.

At least the first time.

He didn't even know why he was surprised that the more hits he landed, the more that smile of excitement grew on the Fatui's face. Until recognition flashed across his eyes. Alhaitham was using his claws and it wasn't long before both them and Childe's face were stained red. Even though any normal person should be slowing down from blood loss, Childe had the nerve to get angry.

"Are you playing games with me?," grunted the red-haired man, reaching out to touch his clothes as if to look for something, but there was nothing.

Alhaitham didn't waste the opportunity. In a flash, he appeared in front of Childe and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket. The younger man went flying until he hit a tree that shook against the force of the throw.

"Hm, you're more perceptive than I thought," Alhaitham commented, shaking his wrist casually. "I guess it's the battle experience."

The dragon let him catch his breath as he approached with slow, leisurely steps. Alhaitham had wounds all over his body as well, even long gashes that tore through his clothing, all thanks to the fact that, as Childe had noticed, he was holding back. Not to mention that he hadn't taken his dragon form. The plan had been to give him a battle that would content him, test his strength and get some clue out of him as to his true purpose. That was fine. He still had other ideas.

Childe glared at him from the ground and in an instant was about to create his hydro blades again, so Alhaitham slammed his arm into the tree, the crunch of loud bones followed by those of the other arm. Childe grunted at the pain, but there was still no resignation in his expression and Alhaitham noticed the gleam in his Vision.

"Don't make me smash your teeth in too, will you?," said Alhaitham with annoyance. "I'm not going to kill you, you don't have to fight for your life."

They glared daggers at each other for a moment longer and then Childe clicked his tongue.

"It didn't seem that way when we first met," he prodded. "You were dying to bury your claws in my neck."

Alhaitham shrugged. He had mentally prepared himself, at least this time Childe wasn't going to receive unnecessary violence from him.

"All right," Childe finally agreed. "But if what I tell you is interesting enough, you will fight me again, with all your might."

Alhaitham raised an eyebrow.

"With all my might? Are you suicidal?"

Childe snorted.

"I still have an ace up my sleeve, or, rather, I don't right now. I forgot. I'll have it next time. Do you want me to tell you what I am looking for or not?"

"Speak."

"It's something the Dendro Archon has," Childe explained at last. "Her Gnosis, proof of her status as one of The Seven. Don't look at me like that. I don't plan to take it from her by force either, and whether she has the Gnosis or not, it won't affect her status as a goddess or an Archon."

"Then why would you want it?," Alhaitham questioned.

"That is something the Tsaritsa will reveal in due course."

So it would be like that. It was already giving him a headache.

"So you know where Lesser Lord Kusanali is?"

"You give me too much credit. I'm still looking. Are you going to give me a rematch or not?"

In that case, when he found the goddess, the problem would be between the Fatui and her. He could deal with that.

He watched Childe, who was leaning against the tree lazily as if he didn't have two broken arms and too many cuts contrasting with his fair skin.

Even though Alhaitham didn't have much trouble beating him, the human was strong. It never hurt to have strong people on your side in a battle and maybe he could even use him to find the Dendro Archon. As much as Childe irritated the hell out of him, the possibility had crossed his mind several times. If he didn't accept, well, Alhaitham could always take that excuse to get rid of a problem.

"There is one more thing."

As soon as he finished outlining his plan, Childe burst out laughing as if he had told him the funniest joke in the world.

"Hahaahhahah, and I thought you were something else when we first met. You are seriously crazy hahahhah."

Alhaitham waited until he stopped, with only the slightest tension in his claws waiting for his response as proof that he was listening to him.

"Sure." Childe smiled sincerely, looking at him with shining eyes through the blood that trickled down his face. "I'll help you."

And there went his excuse.

Alhaitham tugged at the collar of Childe's jacket again, but now to help him stand up. It was the most he would give him. He could walk to the infirmary alone.

"Are you not going to ask me about His Majesty?" Childe called out before Alhaitham got to walk away, causing him to pause for only an instant.

He could. Wanted to. He needed to know what the deal was between the two. How well they were getting along. Chances were that Childe wasn't interested in Kaveh like that —and how dare he be near Kaveh and not love him, not adore his every reaction, his kindness, his very existence?—. If perhaps Kaveh...

No.

He couldn't let himself be carried away by that line of thinking.

He didn't even answer him before he took off at once, leaving the Fatui behind with a sardonic smile on his face.

-

"Wahahahah, did you crash on the road or what? Bwahahahah." Dehya started laughing as soon as she saw the dragon appear with bandages adorning his body.

Alhaitham snorted, crossing his arms. Since he went through the trouble of flying there, changing his form caused some of the cuts to open up and now such a simple move as that made him grimace. He wouldn't be able to return to the palace until he fully recovered.

"I encountered a rabid fox," he replied matter-of-factly. "I tamed it."

Dehya laughed some more before grinning at him in that way that showed her canines, her eyes glinting at an early challenge.

"Now that you're here, are we going to take Caravan Ribat yet?"

They could have taken the city long ago, even without Alhaitham being there. Not that they realized that Alhaitham was purposefully bogging them down. After all, there were always small steps toward their goal, precisely calculated glimmers of hope that fooled them into thinking Alhaitham was helping them.

Unlike the others, Alhaitham always had the feeling that Dehya knew something.

Yet there they both were, ignoring the elephant in the room, because Alhaitham was helping them. In his own way.

It was getting time for things to start moving.

"We'll have Caravan Ribat this week," he agreed. It's your turn, Flame-Mane."

Less than two months.

For all they knew, Azar would be ready to fight in less than two months.

Alhaitham was not going to accept more than one battle.

By then, the popular rebellion had to be at the gates of the city and it would all end there.

Exactly as Alhaitham planned.

Less than two months and Kaveh would be free.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham hadn't spent much time at the dinner to realize that he hated royal parties.

He had to watch the ghost of Kaveh greet guest after guest with a blank stare and a strained smile for hours. He looked good, he looked beautiful anyway. However, he wasn't fine. It wasn't him. Alhaitham figured he had an idea what happened to the desert governors.

In truth, he had been on the verge of forcing them to attend, but none were willing, and to insist would only have thrown away everything he had done so far.

Remorse was a sick feeling. He buried it instead, only able to watch Kaveh's silent suffering as the party went on. It made him question everything.

He wanted to go to Kaveh and drag him out of there to a place where he could finally breathe. Where it was just the two of them. But he couldn't do that, could he?

So he shifted his focus. His ears kept picking up Kaveh's voice even as he began to follow the Fatui with his eyes. He was talking to a brunette man with good bearing, a serene appearance that contrasted with Childe's energy. Amber eyes met his as he stood watching them for more than a second and the man gave him a friendly smile before returning his attention to Childe.

Though Alhaitham wasn't sure of the man's origin, he could tell that Childe had found himself an interesting chat partner.

After that, he had to watch Childe flirt with the older man and let his annoyance grow far from remorse.

There was a fine line between letting people decide for themselves and allowing them to let themselves be used as playthings by others. Childe was about to make him cross the line.

How dare he give his attention to someone else when Kaveh was in pain? How dare he look at someone else with glowing eyes, brush his arm casually, lean over to talk in his ear when he was supposed to be Kaveh's suitor? How dare he kneel down on one knee and...?

Oh.

"Your Majesty, these days I spent in Sumeru were incredible, all thanks to your presence," began the Fatui in a soft, sweet voice, the same one he used to fill the ears of anyone he spoke to.

He was going to kill Childe.

The feeling that took over his mind in that instant was pure poison, growing through his body, clouding his rationality if only for an instant.

It would have been so easy to drown in it.

He just had to take a few steps in his direction and rip his head off.

Surely that would be fun. Surely it wouldn't get him in trouble with Snezhnaya. Surely it wouldn't make Kaveh hate him.

Kaveh.

The seconds that followed, he held his breath and it was as if the rest of the party had vanished, waiting. Kaveh was as frozen as he was and Alhaitham wished he could be closer, wished he could get a good look at his face, wished... he had the slightest idea what he was thinking.

Then, there was a twitch in Kaveh's hand and Alhaitham knew what he was going to do.

There was a fine line between letting people decide for themselves and allowing them to let themselves be used as playthings by others.

But that line only existed if you had the right to defend it.

Alhaitham had long since forfeited that right.

Once upon a time, he asked for a single chance to have Kaveh. He got it, a gift from the treacherous gods, and let it go. Again and again, he hurt Kaveh.

Someone who had no chance could not afford to feed that foul feeling that begged him to come back and claim Kaveh for his own.

Even if the heart that existed in his chest only beat for Kaveh, someone who was only waiting to destroy him one last time should accept that he couldn't ask for anything more.

Logically, it made sense.

Sentimentally, he wondered if it was possible to exist hundreds of years with a lump in his throat, a weight in his chest, a body so heavy he couldn't even make it to his room and stopped in the middle of the hallway, a longing so great and infinite it could only grow within those who had had and lost.

"Why did you come."

Incidentally, sometimes things you thought were lost were just waiting for you to look for them.

-

Kaveh fit in his arms as he fit in his life.

He was the bright light that illuminated his darkness, the sensitivity that contrasted with his rationality, the only mirror through which he could see all that he lacked.

Who would have thought he could find his equal in an opposite?

"Haitham."

Alhaitham felt that those crimson eyes could reach into his soul, dismantle his every idea, reconstruct his every principle, and he would let them.

It was impossible to deny him anything when Kaveh's hands were on his face, holding him as if he were the most precious thing in the world. Not his desires, not the choice to have him like this. When walking away would only hurt them both, Alhaitham simply had to accept that this was his home. He would always live for and to be held between those hands. Any second away from Kaveh was a second wasted, any attempt to live without him was fruitless. If he ever had to die, he wanted it to be there, by his side.

"Haitham, what is this?," Kaveh asked, his voice low and shaky.

Kaveh still hesitated, because of course he did. It was Kaveh. So beautiful, full of thoughts, full of doubt and so perceptive, even if he ignored or covered up the truth a million times.

"Do you want me to be honest with you?" He loved how Kaveh shuddered at the mere touch of his lips on the skin of his palm.

"Yes," his voice was no more than a whisper.

He had never had anything to worry about.

There was only one thing they could always find themselves agreeing in: their devotion.

"This..." His chest was going to explode, so intertwined that their hearts were synchronized. It was only one step until they fell right back into the love that was forever and ever, "...is my surrender to you."

"By all the gods, you choose this moment to be indirect?" Kaveh asked in exasperation and Alhaitham couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't even remember how long ago he laughed like that, a soft sound that could only exist when Kaveh was around.

It was unfair that Kaveh was the brightest person on earth, a sun walking among mortals, yet he still doubted himself.

"What's the matter? You're always slow."

There was no edge to his words, and Kaveh knew it, but he still tried to slip out of his embrace, leaving a non-angry slap on his cheek. Alhaitham chased after him again, grabbing him by the arms to pin him against the bed. Kaveh struggled lazily, just for doing the act of running away, but he could no longer hide the smile on his face and it encouraged Alhaitham.

They had so many things to say. He could fill dozens of pages with all the things he had to say to Kaveh to make him understand one hundredth of his feelings for him. However, at that moment he just said:

"Don't go."

Alhaitham had been in love with Kaveh for over two years at this point, but it felt as if he had known him all his life. Each time was as special as if he had wanted him for an eternity.

"I will be clear then. You hold my life in your hands."

Alhaitham had always only wanted a peaceful life, away from pain, away from others, he was even moving away from happiness. But Kaveh wanted a million things, dreamed a million dreams, and went on despite the pain to find his happiness.

"Now, always. There was no other way out since I met you."

Kaveh was unique, and since he was unique, you could only love him uniquely, give everything of yourself.

"This..." It was magical to even have the chance to touch Kaveh, to receive him in return. "I hope this is us making love."

Kaveh pulled him closer and Alhaitham let him, holding every second in his memory.

"It is," he whispered against his lips.

At last, they were meeting again.

-

Alhaitham took off his jacket and shirt carelessly, but Kaveh pulled off the top of his clothes somewhat sheepishly, revealing every bit of skin slowly, attracting Alhaitham's eyes like bees to honey.

Kaveh's torso free of his clothes, golden and smooth, was indeed sweet as honey. Alhaitham caught one of his pink nipples between his teeth, so fragile, and when he tasted it with the tip of his tongue, Kaveh shuddered and let out such a sweet sound, arching toward him.

"So beautiful," Alhaitham murmured and planted a kiss on his chest.

He took one of his breasts in his mouth, enveloping the pink bud with the warmth of his mouth. At the same time, he used his claws to massage the other, careful not to tear his skin as he kneaded it. He switched between one and the other, making sure to give attention to both. He savored the way they hardened with his help and enjoyed the way Kaveh's heart was beating like crazy under his mouth.

"I missed you," he promised, leaving his breasts wet with his saliva to leave a trail of kisses down his abdomen.

His movements were smooth and careful, as if he had all the time in the world. No one would have known that his cocks were about to explode in his pants, staining his poor underwear, and Alhaitham couldn't have cared less. He wanted to show Kaveh everything he meant to him, wanted to take him apart and slowly rebuild him in his arms.

He wanted to stop that slight tremor that betrayed the ever-present doubt in his beloved's mind.

He took care of Kaveh's pants between brushes of his lips and muffled sounds of pleasure, holding back the urge to tear them just because Kaveh wouldn't appreciate that. The effort was worth it when he was able to pull them off and discovered that Kaveh's underwear was already wet with his precum. He growled under his breath, his whole body reacting with that fire that was impossible to put out.

The sight that met his gaze when he looked up didn't help matters. Those crimson eyes were fixed on him, lips parted for quick breaths made his chest rise and fall, shiny with his saliva, and his skin was already tinged with a pinkish hue that looked so adorable on him.

"Ah, Kaveh," he sighed, fitting a leg between Kaveh's. His tail wrapped around his beloved's thigh, drawing him to him, sending their crotches closer together. When he leaned over him, their clothed cocks brushed, sending a shiver through his body. A kiss on his mouth and Alhaitham buried his fangs in Kaveh's lower lip, eliciting a delighted moan from the blond. He shouldn't, he really shouldn't. But gods, how he wanted. "I desire you so badly. I thought I was never going to have you again. Now I just want to take you slowly and mark you until everyone knows you're mine, just mine. Will you let me?"

If the soft moan he let out beneath his lips wasn't proof enough that Kaveh wanted this too, the way he wrapped his arms around the back of his neck in an embrace and stretched his head up to meet his mouth would have been. A lick over his lips caused Alhaitham to melt inside and part his. He was overcome by Kaveh and closed his eyes. Kaveh didn't have time to do anything else before Alhaitham thrust his long tongue inside him, tasting every part of his mouth.

He leaned into the brush of his lips as he slipped his hands under Kaveh's back, helping him arch completely, feeling every part of his torso against his and just feeling his hard erection beneath him made him grunt low.

He took advantage when the friction caused Kaveh to open his mouth to moan loudly, grabbing him by the jaw and then pushing his tongue all the way in. Kaveh's throat received him smoothly and the king barely gagged once before a moan from deep in his throat tickled Alhaitham's tongue. He knew Kaveh loved having his mouth fucked deep until he ran out of air and Alhaitham loved having his nails digging into his back as he tried to relax amidst the excitement to take more of his tongue.

He wanted so badly to replace his tongue with one of his cocks, to see again how pretty Kaveh was when he sucked it so eagerly, eyes watering and mind gone, eager to take it all inside him. Yet he held back. This wasn't about him.

With a few gentle taps on his shoulder, Alhaitham let him go, delighting in watching the saliva that connected their mouths as they parted and how Kaveh gasped for air, his narrowed eyes with a hint of tears still begging him for more.

Alhaitham wanted to give him everything.

Starting with the dripping erection against his thigh.

Alhaitham pulled Kaveh's legs until they fell over the edge of the bed, spread out to fit in between them. He sank to the floor on his knees, facing Kaveh, stroked his thigh, his voice as sweet as honey.

"I want to see you, Kaveh. Sit down for me, sweetheart."

Poor Kaveh was barely recovering from their kiss, so Alhaitham let him take his hand to help him sit up and helped him rest his hands on his shoulders. The touch only made him more aroused. A smile spread across his face before he turned his attention back to what awaited him.

Alhaitham didn't bother to remove his underwear before leaning down and tracing the outline of Kaveh's cock with his tongue. Even through the fabric, the salty taste was already palpable and was driving him wild. Kaveh's breath caught as he found the tip and gave it a peck, causing more precum to stain his clothes. Alhaitham sucked through the fabric as if it was the essence of life and indeed it was, especially the choked sound of Kaveh and the nails digging into his skin.

At last he tugged at the fabric and pulled it out so fast that his length bounced out of his underwear. Alhaitham's eyes marveled at how red and wet Kaveh's cock already was, standing proudly and contrasting against his pale skin.

"Haitham..." Kaveh called out to him in a trembling voice as he admired the sight for more than a second. His hand trailed up the back of his neck, ruffling his skin as he moved to his hair and his fingers tangled through gray locks.

So needy and so shy for him. He couldn't let his lover suffer any longer, could he?

He hummed in acknowledgement. Then he leaned against Kaveh's thighs, claws burying themselves carefully into his skin, and his lips wrapped around the tip of the delicious cock in front of him. Alhaitham groaned when he finally had access to the musky taste directly and didn't hold back from sticking his tongue out and cleaning it.

He blinked uselessly, trying to keep his gaze on Kaveh, but couldn't help but close his eyes as he moved down Kaveh's length at last, appreciating every vein and every inch of that lovely weight on his tongue until it hit the back of his throat. Kaveh's fingers found his horns and Alhaitham moaned around his cock, acting like a vibrator around the erection. He adored how Kaveh pulled on his horn with a gasp and opened his eyes, crossing glances with Kaveh with difficulty. Kaveh's eyes were lost, admiring the sight of Alhaitham kneeling between his legs with a mouthful of him, but not enough. He couldn't let a single thought cross those eyes.

Alhaitham tried to hold his gaze as he began to move up and down his cock, enveloping it with his wet mouth. He hollowed his cheeks to swallow more eagerly, trying to suck it tight in his mouth, and his eyes rolled back.

This way, with the hand on his head guiding his movements, he could think only of Kaveh, every last one of his senses focused on pleasing his mate.

Kaveh tasted so good, smelled so good, looked so good.

Kaveh, Kaveh, Kaveh.

As long as he could make Kaveh feel good, he didn't even care if his own erections ached in his pants.

He had his hand busy playing with his partner's balls, urging him to spill down his throat, tangling his length with his tongue so that it rose and fell with the movement of his head. It twitched in his mouth, releasing its sweet essence for Alhaitham to greedily take. He could feel Kaveh was close and he picked up speed, ready to give him as much pleasure as he could, to taste and swallow his cum as it went down his throat.

And then, a cry.

A plaintive sound from deep in Kaveh's heart cut through the haze in Alhaitham's mind and made him stop mid-suck.

Then another.

He left Kaveh's cock completely hard and when he looked up a drop fell on his face.

Kaveh looked miserable, a few tears had already streamed down his lovely face and Alhaitham quickly rose to straddle him, stroking his cheeks with his hands. Kaveh gave him room, sitting further back to make him more comfortable.

"S-Sorry," he whimpered, "I'm sorry..."

Alhaitham's heart clenched, because Kaveh seriously didn't have to apologize for anything in his life. He, on the other hand, had the nerve not to think about it, to come down on his lips to take them and kiss him softly, expressing all the feelings he couldn't describe in words in a million years. Kaveh's cries were diminishing with his touch and his hands went to wrap hesitantly around Alhaitham's waist.

"Don't apologize," Alhaitham asked. His hoarse, shattered voice could barely show how much it hurt him to see the last tear leave Kaveh's eyes.

"You are so good to me," he explained as if that was the most unfair thing in the world, as if he had to explain it, but was terrified of the outcome of his words. He didn't understand that he deserved this and more, much more than Alhaitham could give him. "I'm just stopping you, keeping you with me. I don't even know what's going to happen to me, if we have time, and now we can't even enjoy what time we have left because I start crying like an idiot. I'm pathetic, aren't I? You should leave me..."

At once, Alhaitham wrapped his tail around Kaveh's waist and pulled him eagerly to himself.

"I can't," he stated, kissing the corner of his partner's lips. That was never an option, not when Kaveh trembled so prettily with every brush over the sensitive skin of his jaw. "I'm stuck with you. I'm not leaving."

He nibbled the skin at the beginning of Kaveh's neck, eliciting a whimper so adorable it made his cocks twitch. They were demanding attention again and Alhaitham wanted so badly to bury himself in Kaveh and show him that he couldn't afford to let Alhaitham go either.

He climbed off Kaveh's legs only to grab him by the thighs and have him straddle him, legs open wide to make it easier to spread his ass cheeks, causing Kaveh to squeal.

"B-But what if you ever want to travel, don't you like that?" Kaveh continued to ask, and it took Alhaitham who was so amazed by the sensation of the curvature of his back against his fingers a moment to understand what he meant. "I have to stay here. And we can never be together as we would like to be."

"I don't like it," Alhaitham replied after licking the line of Kaveh's neck, lowering his hands to seek his entrance. "I lived in a cave alone with my grandmother for years. As long as I have you, I don't care about anything else. I could admire you for decades, worship every inch of you for centuries." Soon she found Kaveh's hole and his finger was sucked inside with ease. A sticky liquid poured from it and the revelation made him shudder with a dangerous feeling. "You're wet," he declared, eyes wide open.

Kaveh was about to complain more, but the last words made him blink in confusion.

"W-what?" He asked, trying to pull away from Alhaitham's hand to look, but there was no way Alhaitham would let him do that. He grabbed him by the ass and held it low, sticking two more fingers in like it was nothing.

There were times when it seemed like Kaveh was getting wet all by himself, with all the lubrication Alhaitham's cocks produced inside him, and certainly after a while it seemed like it was very easy for him to get inside, but he was never dripping before he had it in him.

Ah, Alhaitham should worry and think about it some more, but it was so sexy to have Kaveh's body react to his like this that the sensation of the natural lubricant coating his fingers completely consumed his thoughts. He pressed against Kaveh's prostate and Kaveh could barely stifle his cry by biting his lips.

There went his rationality.

"Mine," he growled, pushing against Kaveh's prostate faster, massaging his insides hard to draw every sweet sound from inside him until he were cumming for him and beyond. "Mine." He sunk his teeth into Kaveh's neck, making sure to leave marks to prove his words.

"Shit..." Kaveh sounded so out of it at this point that Alhaitham couldn't help but go faster, stretching his fingers to open him for himself, making sure to hit every sweet spot until Kaveh fell on top of him, his body limp with excitement.

"Mine."

A little more and Kaveh was coming undone, cum shooting over Alhaitham's abs accompanied by the sweetest of moans. His walls contracted around Alhaitham's fingers and he simply couldn't wait any longer.

Kaveh was still shuddering and writhing helplessly on top of him as Alhaitham lifted him up to rip off his pants and place his needy hole right over his cocks. It felt so good to have him opening to him, his gaping hole trying to suck Alhaitham's tips even as he whimpered from the stimulation of his orgasm.

He knew that, if he fucked him with both cocks now, he was going to fill him with his eggs and they would finish in a round, but shit, the idea of taking Kaveh and filling his belly with his eggs was too appealing not to make him slide down and over his cocks anyway.

Alhaitham could have cum just watching the way his cocks disappeared inside his partner's tight, slippery hole, but he didn't want it to end just yet, so he went slow, savoring every inch. Once inside, he breathed, watching in wonder at Kaveh's face lost in lust.

His beloved was so cute.

"How could I leave you?" He asked softly, almost choking at the way Kaveh's hole tightened around him. "I'll never get tired of you."

Kaveh sobbed at his words, but this time it was from pure emotion. He was already breathing hard and yet he leaned in to press their lips together.

Kaveh was like putty in his hands at times like this, unable to do anything but take everything Alhaitham gave him, but it was okay. He deserved to get everything good in the world and Alhaitham had never minded trying a little harder when it came to Kaveh.

His claws dug into Kaveh's ass and he began to thrust upward, into that burning heat that enveloped him so well. Gods, Alhaitham knew they were made for each other, and wasn't this the proof? How else would they fit together so well so that every time he pulled out of Kaveh, his walls closed only to open again when he pushed in? It was a dance as old as time, one they themselves had danced hundreds of times, but it always felt new and exciting with Kaveh.

The kiss could hardly be called that. It was a frenzied brushing of lips, desperate moans and low growls as they tried to stay glued together, riding each penetration and losing themselves in the other. In the midst of it, Kaveh was calling his name like a mantra, as if he was his savior, his water bottle in the middle of the desert.

Alhaitham loved knowing that no one else could make Kaveh feel this way, no one else could see the mess that was Kaveh in his arms, because it was the same for him. He was so completely Kaveh's that he couldn't live without him for a single second longer, not without his voice moaning his name, his scent mingling with his proclaiming his arousal, his body warm against his.

The heat built between them again and Alhaitham felt the moment Kaveh drew strength from where he had none to rise up on his knees and thrust back into his cock. Their thrusts met in the middle, the wet sound of their encounter filling the room, and Alhaitham knew he wouldn't last much longer.

"I want you so full of me," he murmured in a half-voice, forcing his eyes to stay open so that they continued to take in every expression that crossed Kaveh's face. "I want you completely mine."

Kaveh cried out with the thrust that was directed at his prostate and his head went back, exposing his neck for Alhaitham to bury himself in, fangs scraping his skin. Kaveh squeezed him so well, tightening around his cock as if he expected it, wanted him to fill him again and again, that Alhaitham could take no more. He pulled Kaveh down, filling him to the brim and came.

They both grunted as the copious amounts of cum spilled inside Kaveh, lubricating the way before the inevitable moment when he felt the irresistible pull of his ovipositor opening impossibly wide to let his eggs pass into the eager channel inside Kaveh.

His eyes rolled back and he had to close them, burying his teeth in Kaveh's shoulder as the waves of pleasure continued and each egg was received by Kaveh's hole as if he was really going to take them. It was so tight inside Kaveh at that moment, but Alhaitham could never let go. Instead, he gripped him tighter, the soft scent of blood mingling among the sweet aromas of their intercourse as his teeth and claws went a little deeper than he anticipated. He was barely aware of how Kaveh squeezed him convulsively as he came once more, gone in the sensation of being used as an incubator for Alhaitham's eggs, but loving every second anyway.

"Haitham..." whimpered Kaveh after a while next to Alhaitham's ear.

Alhaitham was busy licking the bite he had left and only responded with a soft sound over his shoulder.

"I-I want to cuddle with you," he murmured shyly.

Alhaitham's heart was filled in a second with so many nice emotions that he wondered if he was going to explode. He found it hard to detach himself from Kaveh's body, to see the cum he had worked so hard to get inside him spilling out, but anything to fulfill his partner's desires.

He arranged Kaveh on the bed and when he saw the bulge in his stomach, he couldn't help but run his hand over it. The need to leave his eggs there almost made him crawl into bed next to Kaveh directly, yet it was enough to see the king's expectant look to know that he was conscious enough to wait for him to pull them out. Ah, Alhaitham'd have to fuck him harder next time, if only to imagine he could get him pregnant for a moment longer.

"Haithoomii," Kaveh rushed him, spreading his legs slightly to expose his hole. How unfair, it wasn't even open. It looked like it wanted to stay closed to keep his eggs inside.

"I'm coming, love." Alhaitham loomed over Kaveh, leaning on one arm over him to see his face twitch with pleasure as he fingered him again.

Kaveh was indeed slippery. He had made a sticky mess of their bodies and Alhaitham loved it.

Wet fingers went deep into his body and he found a pair of eggs inside Kaveh. Alhaitham hated that he was so deft at pulling his eggs out from inside his mate when they should just stay there. He pulled a couple out, getting distracted by how beautiful Kaveh looked when he let the eggs brush against his sweet spot, how he moaned and squirmed clinging to Alhaitham's arm as if it were his lifeline.

Then he realized he wasn't reaching for the others, even though Kaveh's stomach was still a little swollen. It was amusing to see Kaveh trying to hold back moans of embarrassment as Alhaitham took the opportunity to arouse him by trying to dig inside him, but he seriously couldn't reach the others and an idea crossed his mind at last.

Oh gods, that would explain a lot.

He had to try hard not to let a smile slip as his fingers left Kaveh with a wet pop and he said in the steadiest voice he could:

"I think I bonded with you."

Kaveh looked at him with confused eyes for a moment before they widened.

"What... what do you mean bonded?"

"Bonding like when I explained to you that I could make your body accept me as your mate and change accordingly. Thinking back now, I might have been in rut that night at the throne."

Kaveh opened his mouth, then closed it, opened it again, then pressed his lips together in a thin line. Alhaitham saw that he was about to have a meltdown, so he hurried to press more little kisses to his face, though he couldn't help letting his hand wander down to the bulge in his stomach and caress it proudly.

"It's okay, it's just that your womb sucked them in right now, but they'll come out soon," he promised in between kisses, trying to soothe his mate.

Kaveh whined softly, but relaxed with his kisses, looking at him as if he wanted to believe him.

"Are you sure?"

Maybe.

He hoped not.

"If I'm not mistaken, it depends on your age, health, lifestyle, and our fertility," Alhaitham replied instead. "Generally, at your age, there should be a twenty five percent chance of getting pregnant in the first month of trying regularly, but with your lifestyle, how much coffee you drink and mental health, the chances drop significantly."

Kaveh: ...

Reading fertility books to deal with the fact that he didn't use to be able to get Kaveh pregnant the last time he had a long rut did any good, if only to see Kaveh's frown as he tried to absorb the information. It looked like he didn't want to think about it much more, not for now at least, because he rolled his eyes and blurted out:

"Just hug me."

When Kaveh snuggled against him, his breath soft against his chest, tangled against each other as they always used to do, Alhaitham thought he could stay there forever. Yet he had so many things to do just to have the slightest chance of staying that way, and so many other things to tell him.

He shouldn't be there, enjoying Kaveh like this, and once the arousal faded, the guilt returned with all its force, pulling him down, down, down.

"Haitham," Kaveh murmured after a while, his voice as smooth as silk when he was half asleep.

"Hm?"

"Don't give up on me?"

It gave him a pang in his heart.

He had so many things to tell him, but when he thought of breaking the peace of that moment, he couldn't get any of them out of his mouth.

"I won't," he cooed, hugging him tighter. "I promise."

There would always be a later and a better chance.

For now, he would just forget everything in Kaveh.

-

And Alhaitham knew it was for the best, but he still had to hold back disappointment when the eggs came out the next morning.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham really planned to tell the truth and explain everything, really, really, but the closer the battle got, the more time he had to spend away from Kaveh and the moments together became nothing but short. Stolen moments just for the two of them. It just wouldn't have been appropriate.

Or that is what he told himself, swallowing every single feeling yet unable to tear away the ache in his chest.

Besides, Kaveh seemed very focused on finding Nahida and that served him well with his plans.

He couldn't just distract him when he didn't even know what exact words to use to explain or what kind of reaction the king would have.

If Kaveh still considered this his punishment for existing, if he refused to let go... He even looked happy, relaxed these days. Did Alhaitham have to ruin everything for him? The hole was already dug, but who was brave enough to dive in head first knowing what awaited him? What awaited them.

The time that heals all wounds is the same time that aggravates lies.

-

After they had let the rumors spread, it was only a matter of time before Azar made his move. It was this or battle, and through their spies, it was obvious that Azar was not ready to fight yet, so they began the vigil. Those nights, with their superior senses, it was not uncommon for Alhaitham and Cyno to watch the Divine Tree.

Alhaitham was on his own when he heard the familiar footsteps. He rolled his eyes before returning to his inscrutable gaze.

"I would appreciate it if you would not interrupt my peace while I am doing you a favor," he said, his gaze still fixed on the book in his hand.

"But you seem to be bored at this hour," Childe approached anyway, bending down to see the title and appearing in Alhaitham's range of vision despite his wishes. "The Dream World: The Possibility of a Form of Magical Energy? It would be more fun to just fight me."

As the dragon pretended he hadn't heard him, Childe, who was definitely the one who was bored, seemed to think about it some more before speaking again.

"And what about Kaveh?"

He couldn't help it when the conversation involved Kaveh, so Alhaitham grunted defensively, "What about him?"

He could almost see Childe's smirk through the corner of his vision, though it only lasted a second and then his countenance hardened.

"Aren't you going to tell him the truth?" For once, his voice lacked that tone of amusement, taking on a serious tone that made Alhaitham look up from the book and glare at him.

"Why would you care about that?"

Childe snorted.

"Isn't it stupid for you to put that whole plan together and revolve around someone who has no idea? What if he ends up doing something that's detrimental to your plan? He's not stupid and you know it."

It bothered him so much that this Fatui acted like he could provoke him into a revelation. He knew it more than anyone, how smart and dedicated Kaveh was, how easy it was for him to undo him in an instant. It still didn't make it any easier. Lately, he was setting the date after they found the goddess. By then, if Kaveh wouldn't listen to him... well, he wouldn't need Alhaitham anymore either, not his skills or his treacherous heart.

"Besides," Childe added, that stupid sneer back on his lips when he noticed the slightest change of expressión on Alhaitham's face, "aren't you ashamed to keep deceiving when he adores you that much? Then they say I'm the 'foul' one."

-

Aren't you ashamed to keep deceiving him?

Even without having seen the look of desolation on Kaveh's face when he understood everything, or the coldness that filled those eyes that should experience nothing but happiness afterwards, the answer was yes. Yes, yes, yes.

"Damned liar!"

Guilt clung to his heart with a vicious grip and buried its claws in the organ, making his every pumping hurt. Tens of times a minute, thousands of times a day.

"Kaveh..." He tried to speak, to say anything, and Kaveh waited for him, as if he still deserved that kindness, but not another sound came out of his mouth.

"You're not even going to try to trick me?" Kaveh was shaking with his whole body. It was like he was freezing, though what he felt must have been more akin to an all-consuming rage.

Those months, the words were getting stuck deeper in Alhaitham's throat, a constant knot that, now that he wanted to undo it, he simply didn't know how anymore.

"You'll get angrier if I try."

Keeping his voice steady was a success and a failure at the same time and he understood it the instant Kaveh's eyes widened. He had that look that said he thought he understood everything.

"You never thought me a capable king, did you?"

And yet he was so completely wrong it was ridiculous. Alhaitham would have laughed except that the slightest sound would have caused any attempt at composure to crumble. He held the swords spilling drops of blood on the ground as he held himself, with an iron grip.

He had to pull himself together. He had to explain everything to him here and now. He had to...

"I wanted to die."

Alhaitham always thought he understood the power of words, but at that moment he realized he had been clueless. The words could cut deeper than a sword, shake his thoughts and paralyze him in place, unable to do anything but watch the tears fall from the eyes of the person he had intended to protect.

"Before you found me in the bar, I wanted to die. Why the fuck did you convince me to live?"

The memory of that day in the tavern mingled with the image of Kaveh in front of him. The empty smile, the mechanical movements and how it all fell apart as they talked (not enough, never enough). He should have anticipated that too, when he left him alone. He knew what happened the first time the prince met his grandmother and then saw him jump out of a window after they had both lost her.

'I thought I was going to die today. I'm happy I didn't.'

However, he didn't want to accept it, didn't want to imagine it. How could he, when Kaveh smiled at him so brightly, worked hard, not giving up no matter what? He didn't want it to be true, he pretended he hadn't heard because it was all so far beyond his control.

What could he have done if Kaveh had left him before he even got the chance to see him again?

The thought would have driven him insane.

He should have.

He should have when everything, from how Kaveh worked himself up to fainting to how easily he shut himself off, pointed to this.

When he let Kaveh go insane with pain instead.

When he let Kaveh go

Now it was too late and he, just, could not move.

"Why did you pretend to care?"

Kaveh was coming at him with his claymore and Alhaitham couldn't have moved away no matter how much he wanted to.

Because Kaveh didn't care about himself and he, the one person he had accepted —truly accepted— care from, had shattered the foundation that kept him stable.

"No. You don't care about anything but your stupid logic and your stupid efficiency. To you, anyone would be a better king than me."

Now he could only watch as Kaveh crumbled.

There was a voice in the back of his mind urging him to step aside, to do something to stop the sword now pointed at his heart, but the words would not come to manifest into movement. For once, Alhaitham was nothing but a heart, and that heart was collapsing, as if it didn't want to support itself anymore. Not if the end result would be this, again and again.

That would have been it if Kaveh had so decided.

Then Kaveh's expression changed for a second, eyes widening, and his lips quivered, shaken by a sharp intake of breath. Alhaitham almost closed his eyes, wondering if it would finally hit him, but he forced himself to keep looking at him for when had he ever been able to deny himself the sight of Kaveh? Even pierced by the purest pain, his face wrinkled and tear-stained, he was the most beautiful being Alhaitham would ever see.

The claymore struck his chest without more, the push so weak and shaky that Kaveh nearly dropped it from his hands, and yet Alhaitham recoiled as if it had burned him.

Panic that he had not felt a moment ago made his hair stand on end suddenly, invading his senses.

Kaveh was handing him the weapon.

"You insensitive piece of shit. Why don't you take it?"

Kaveh wouldn't let him, following him so that the claymore pressed against him again. He was shaking so badly he should have dropped it by now, hit the floor and released them both from what Kaveh was about to ask of him, but the hand gripping the hilt was steady for the rest of his body.

"Be the hero who saves the Archon, be the king, do what you want, I don't care!"

Liar. Kaveh had always been a terrible liar. His words were as sharp as that claymore that was burning a permanent scar in his heart and yet...

"Just kill me, isn't that what you want?"

His voice was breaking.

"Gods, just kill me!"

That scream finally broke through his paralyzed mind and he moved reflexively. The warmth that still existed in Kaveh's hand as he wrapped his fingers around the hilt of the claymore was all he needed at last.

Alhaitham tossed the sword aside, letting it slide across the Akademiya floor, and Kaveh followed the claymore's movement with a blank stare for a second before facing him again, pushing him weakly against the wall already behind him. Alhaitham let him.

"What are you doing?," he growled, but his voice had lost all hatred and this time he only sounded tired, as tired as if he had experienced hundreds of lifetimes, thousands of disappointments. His thrusts were so weak that soon he was clinging to Alhaitham's shirt to keep himself upright and his eyes pleaded with him, "Alhaitham, just give me this, you asshole, you idiot. At least let me choose how to die... can't I even have this?"

Kaveh should never have felt so defeated.

"No," Alhaitham's voice returned, strained through the lump in his throat. Lost all pretense of confidence, a shell of its former sound.

Kaveh looked at him, trying to blink away the tears that were only replaced again and again by the next, and suddenly, as if pierced by a sudden determination, he let go of Alhaitham and staggered to the side, searching desperately for something.

Alhaitham opened his eyes wide and reached out. He reflexively reached the sleeve of his clothes the instant Kaveh tried to throw himself to the ground behind the sword.

Kaveh struggled, let himself fall, crawling only to bring his fingers within inches of the hilt. He screamed like a wounded animal that had been denied the last of its relief.

Alhaitham did not even have to expend force to hold him, and yet he could not breathe.

He did this to him.

Kaveh tried to tear at his clothes and Alhaitham grabbed him by the wrist. He pulled him and let him watch as he dragged him away from the claymore. Kaveh's eyes were dry at last and Alhaitham could see clearly, the look he gave him back at that moment was nothing but despair.

"Why?," he begged. "Do you hate me that much? I've already given up. Just..." The rest of the words were drowned out by a tearless sob.

"No," Alhaitham repeated. He didn't realize he was shaking so badly until his legs failed him and he fell to his knees in front of Kaveh, clinging to his wrist as he would cling to life, yet his grip could never have been anything less than gentle. "I can't. I promised."

'Don't give up on me.'

Kaveh was becoming a blur. Through his body, through their connection, Alhaitham felt the tension settling in Kaveh's body and forced his sight to focus each time. He could not afford to ignore what he had triggered. He could not cry.

"I don't hate you, Kaveh," he said as a plea. Believe me, believe me, believe me, "how could I hate you?"

"You lie," Kaveh accused him immediately. His voice was nothing more than a whisper and it still ached him as if it were burning him alive. "Why else would you do all this? Don't lie to me. You lied to me. You used me. All because, what, you can't stand that people you didn't even care about before have poor governance? I was trying." Kaveh held his gaze, but his words were losing conviction, his body deflating more with each word. "I... I tried."

"You did." Alhaitham wanted to embrace him, to wrap him in his arms so he wouldn't have to doubt himself anymore. He hated that that wasn't how it worked, hated that he felt unable to touch him beyond holding onto his wrist. For once, he couldn't stop his voice from shaking. "Maybe you could have even pulled it off somehow, if that's really what you wanted. But just because you could do it doesn't mean you have to."

Kaveh's eyes widened and Alhaitham took the opportunity, sensing that this was going to be his last chance to let him know what he thought. The words poured out one after another, all the sincerity he had been holding back spilling out in a mess.

He had to make it somehow, fit that into his mind, if only for a few more days, if only for one more second.

He needed Kaveh alive.

He needed him like air to breathe.

What was the world without the sun that kept the plants going, that bathed all creatures with its light, that gave life just by its existence?

What was Alhaitham without Kaveh?

"You don't deserve to live a life you can't stand," he insisted. "You deserve to live however you really want. Wouldn't you like to be an architect? Or anything else."

There was certainty in his words and they sounded right. He always thought Kaveh might enjoy being an architect. He liked to design buildings. Alhaitham used to enjoy watching him do that for hours. Even if Kaveh got stressed, he would always go back to continuing on his own, turn things around and solve problems. He was smart enough.

In the palace, he barely had time to draw.

In the palace, he couldn't even love freely.

Kaveh could be happy somewhere else.

Far away from there.

Far away from Alhaitham.

"You could choose someone," those words sounded so sour to him, and yet the conviction was there, because this wasn't about him. It was never about him. "Anyone with common sense would choose you, too."

So don't give up.

Kaveh raised his free hand and Alhaitham didn't even dare to shrink back, holding his breath. A caress on his cheek, too gentle for all he deserved, came accompanied by a thumb wiping the edge of his eye.

Only when he felt the coldness on his cheek did he realize.

"You're crying," Kaveh muttered.

Oh.

He didn't even dare to let go of Kaveh to wipe away the tears, afraid to break the moment. His heart was too weak, warming only at Kaveh's gentle touch. There were thousands of words left to exchange, but in that instant when Kaveh wiped away his tears as he had wanted to do for him, they let the silence fill with their thoughts, until it broke again.

"Why?"

It was the same question as before, this time it was no longer an accusation. It was genuine, incomplete through the fear that he had misunderstood everything. A pandemonium of questions made a mess of Kaveh's head and this was the only one that needed answering to choose what to do next.

Even if he didn't deserve it, Kaveh was giving him the opportunity.

Why would you do all this for me?

Once the clouds were gone, the answer was as clear as day, and so was his voice when he answered:

"Because I love you."

He had only said those words once before, always looking for different ways to express that feeling, that now those two words were loaded with it, filled with a vulnerability that was terrifying.

Last time, he promised he would follow the king wherever he went.

Now, he was showing him his selfishness, asking Kaveh to allow him to give him another way.

Kaveh dropped his hand and Alhaitham's heart flipped over with this one.

He opened his mouth, ready to beg, to bow at his feet, to find any way to convince him.

If he left Kaveh like this, if he couldn't convince him, there was no telling what he would do.

And even if Kaveh would leave him at the end, Alhaitham couldn't afford to lose him. Not now, not ever.

"Let me go," Kaveh's voice interrupted the terror that was sewing inside him. "I'll listen to you."

Chapter Text

After his encounter with Dehya and Dunyarzad, Alhaitham decided that he could no longer sulk and could not simply return to the royal palace either. As hard as it was for him to admit, he couldn't help Kaveh from there.

At first, he just thought he would have to find out all about Lesser Lord Kusanali and find her. He was sure he could convince her or make some sort of deal with her to take her place as Archon. The people would naturally follow their goddess and with her help, ending the battle against Azar couldn't be too difficult. The problem was, no matter how hard he searched, information about the goddess was scarce, let alone clues as to her whereabouts.

Then his second option came to him.

This one was closer, but also more cruel.

In his search for the goddess, Alhaitham had come to the desert, and it did not take him long to discover the conditions in which the people there lived. Very few people there had been able to travel all the way to the capital just to ask for monetary aid or present their problems, and the distrust of the forest king was palpable even among the governors. So much time of segregation was not easy to salvage and as much as Kaveh noticed, it would only add to his stress.

The king might want to pretend that Azar was not a problem. Alhaitham was not so optimistic.

One day, lying on the sand at night, on the wind came to him the voices of a group of Eremites.

Alhaitham, as usual, was not paying attention until they mentioned the king.

"That new king is a charlatan," mumbled one in a turn of conversation.

"Who does he think he's fooling? With that group of nobles and governors against him, he's not going to get very far."

"I heard that the boss was in talks with the governors and other groups of Eremites. He thinks this is a good opportunity to get rid of all that nobility trash."

"Is that what they say?," someone else laughed. "Count me in."

Alhaitham left that out. After all, what could a group of Eremites and governors without enough soldiers do against the royals? As long as there was someone willing to stop them, they wouldn't have gotten anywhere without the help of more provinces, without a plan from someone with inside information. They would be a scratch in the system. A scratch in the system and a stab in Kaveh's heart.

However, Alhaitham saw an opportunity and his plan began to brew.

Royalty was a system with very long roots. If someone just showed up one day and abolished it on their own, the people would not accept what they were gifted as their own. It had always been easier to let others decide for you, after all. But if they fought for it, if they convinced themselves that it was their right...

Kaveh would have abhorred the idea, but if Azar wanted a fight, Alhaitham would give him a fight.

If anyone had to be the villain in Kaveh's story, it would be him, only him.

His victory would be the fall of the kingdom and the beginning of popular rule.

Kaveh would be free. For the first time in his life, completely and totally free.

Dehya heard the beginning of his plan and laughed.

The rest was history.

-

"So this was all an elaborate kidnapping plan," Kaveh concluded bitterly. He hugged himself, as if he wanted to hide from the world still, and though Alhaitham's hands itched to touch him, he wouldn't have dared. "Most people would have simply asked 'don't you want to run away with me?' before staging a revolution against the very person they want to protect."

Ouch.

It was true, but...

"You would have turned me down anyway," although he said it as a fact, his tone was soft, somewhat sheepish. It didn't feel right to explain yourself to the very person you had hurt. He would almost have preferred that Kaveh just hated him, but he owed him at least this much. "You wouldn't agree to leave unless you trusted that whoever stayed would take care of people the same way you do."

Kaveh couldn't deny it and that seemed to frustrate him because he was a bit more rude when he added:

"And they wouldn't have forgotten to tell said person for months."

Alhaitham couldn't deny that either. Guilt seeped into his voice this time.

"I wasn't planning on meeting you again before the battle, so when I had the chance... I'd be fine with you hating me when it was all over, but if I could just have you for one more second..." Despite the urge he had to look away, he sought Kaveh's eyes. His own filled with uncertainty as Kaveh averted his gaze, "I'm not sorry for trying to get you out of here, but I am sorry for hurting you. I would have done it differently if I had known better. I am sorry. I'm so sorry I can't live with myself. Please, Kaveh."

Kaveh's hands were the same as always, but they didn't take his back when he held them in his.

It was only a matter of time before the guards came back for them. Alhaitham had no more room next to Kaveh now. Even so, he still dared to make one more request of him with his voice trembling with determination.

"Hate me, hurt me, do whatever you want to me. Just let me save you."

The world seemed to freeze as he waited for the answer, the air became solid and he could do nothing but beg for those crimson eyes to trust him one last time.

Time moved again along with the hands that left his. The look Kaveh gave him back was cold, but it was a look nonetheless, and Alhaitham received it as if it were a bottle of water in the middle of the desert.

"I'm still furious with you," he declared, standing up on legs that at last stopped shaking. He towered over Alhaitham, sending shivers down his spine. "So you're going to leave right now and I'm going to announce that you're a traitor. After that, you will keep me informed through Cyno and we will arrange the details of the battle. Only then will I believe you. Understood?"

Relief washed over Alhaitham for only an instant. Kaveh still believed in him enough to trust him with his life —though, after what happened today, he wasn't sure if it was worth as much to Kaveh as it was to Alhaitham.

Then the questions returned.

From that night on, it would be inevitable that it would become public knowledge that Alhaitham was the head of the popular rebellion. As much as he hated to pay attention to his image, he could not lose the people's trust now, let alone leave any doubt that might lead them to discover his plan. They simply could not both get out of there unscathed after this kind of revelation and the one who stood the best chance in a battle between the two of them was Alhaitham. Kaveh had to know that too.

Alhaitham looked at Kaveh apprehensively. It was hard to discern what he was thinking just by looking at his face, but Alhaitham knew Kaveh well enough to get an idea and he hated it. In the end, he decided he couldn't ignore it.

"Are you going to hurt yourself when I leave?"

Kaveh's expression remained inscrutable, so different from his usual self. His brow barely furrowed in annoyance before he repeated coldly:

"Understood?"

Alhaitham stood as well. He would do whatever it took to get Kaveh out of there with the conclusion he needed, and yet he would have taken him right then and there and steal him without further ado just to keep him from hurting himself again.

He didn't.

That was all his fault and this was the only thing Kaveh was asking of him. He had done enough already.

He gritted his teeth and nodded.

Turning his back to walk in the opposite direction of Kaveh was the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. He wouldn't be able to see him until the battle. He would have to trust that he would take care of himself until then. He would have liked to hug him then, kiss him and express with his actions how much he cared for him, how much his life meant to him. The image of the desperation in Kaveh's eyes when he asked him to kill him was now etched in his heart, making every step weigh a ton. Could he seriously trust the life of the person he cared about most in the world to someone who had tried to take it from him only minutes ago?

He couldn't walk much further before he stopped.

Staying was not an option.

He had to trust Kaveh.

His voice trembled slightly as, giving away his heart, he asked:

"Just... don't die."

The silence that followed was interrupted by a snort.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily."

-

The first time he went to meet Cyno on the outskirts of the city, the General's face couldn't have been more terrifying. He didn't look too happy about being used as a messenger, but he was there and that was the important thing. There was no one safer than Cyno to get messages directly to Kaveh.

"How is Kaveh?," Alhaitham asked as soon as he approached.

Cyno was stabbing with his polearm with his eyes, but his voice was even as he analyzed the dragon's every reaction.

"He came back wounded, but it was nothing too serious. He's fine in that sense."

Knowing it was going to happen didn't make knowing Kaveh had been hurt for him any less painful. The fact that he mentioned how it's only 'in that sense' also meant that there were others in which he wasn't okay. Kaveh had always been adept at closing in on himself, which didn't mean his friends couldn't tell he was having a hard time.

Alhaitham dragged out the moment to speak by pulling the parchment he had prepared from his pocket, making sure his voice wasn't going to betray him.

"Did he leave me a message?"

Cyno took the documents abruptly.

"Catch the silence one."

Right. It still hurt.

"You can stab me if it'll make you feel better," Alhaitham suggested, because it would make him feel better.

Cyno snorted.

"Your plan doesn't need any more changes. Stick to your word."

-

I'm attaching the plan for the rebellion's advance. I'm going to make sure everything goes to the letter. According to the information we have, Azar will be there in no more than two weeks. The rebellion will follow. Take care of yourself until then. Let me know how the creation of the device is going. If I find anything helpful, I'll let you know. -A.

-

Creation is going well. I'd like to know what you think about using a smoke screen to minimize encounters and casualties on the battlefield. I'm sure you can do something like that. -K.

-

It's not a bad idea. If the army is urged to protect itself rather than attack, it might work just fine, but you know we can't do anything with Azar's army training, right? I can do it, I just want you to be aware that it's impossible for there to be no wounded. Speaking of wounded, I hear your wound is healing well. Don't overexert yourself. I am attaching the formation of Azar's army with the notes I prepared for our formation. -A.

-

Noted. I attach the notes on the formation. [...] It seems to me that this way there will be less confrontation. -K.

-

I have added new notes. I think this way we will both be satisfied. I'll need the escape map to make sure I keep my people out of your way. We need to get this right. [...] I hope you're eating well. -A.

-

[...] Eating as well as I can. -K.

-

[...]

-

[...] I hope you know that I still don't agree with using a real body. He was a person, with dreams and aspirations, someone my own age. He deserves respect, too. Do you really have to raid a grave and interrupt his repose to pass him off as someone else? [...] -K.

-

[...] Forgive me for failing to understand the logic behind your argument. He may have been someone once, but he's dead now and you're still quite alive. If it were you, it wouldn't bother you if he used your body to save someone else. If it bothers you, just pretend it was a decent person like you. [...] He's going back to the soil anyway. Don't overthink it. I'm attaching the plan for the switch. How's the device coming along? Only a few days left before the battle. -A.

-

[...] You're insufferable. The preparation of the device was a little delayed, but it should be ready by the morning of the battle at the latest. -K.

-

That's too late. Are you sure you'll finish it? If not, just let it be. I'll make sure things work out after we've won. [...] -A.

-

[...] The device is going to be ready. No need to change the plan again. You know that with the help of Lesser Lord Kusanali we will win much more easily. [...] -K.

-

[...] I don't like the sound of that. Kaveh, I know you don't feel the same way, but this is all for you. Promise me that, if it's not ready by morning, you're going to quit and leave according to plan. Please. -A.

-

[...] If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be in this situation, so don't ask me for promises. I promise. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm still mad at you. -K.

-

It's fair. See you tomorrow, Kaveh. -A.

-

The battlefield could do nothing to affect Alhaitham's nerves. At this point, not even the acrid smell of smoke permeating the place affected him.

Everything was going relatively well, at least in Alhaitham's terms. Although the smokescreen was dangerous even though it had been precisely calculated not to burn the Divine Tree, every army was prepared to face or trained by a dragon, so people were proceeding cautiously and face-to-face battles were rare as the fire burned.

With Childe on the royal side and the fact that both armies had the surrender of Azar's as a priority, Alhaitham only had to wait for the hour to announce that the king was dead.

So that bad feeling that was turning into an anxiety that was gnawing at his mind and affecting his leadership actually came from the fact that they had not heard from the goddess. According to the plan, if Kaveh managed to awaken Lesser Lord Kusanali, he would ask her to come and help him. The fact that it hadn't happened could simply mean that Kaveh had failed to finish the device and had already withdrawn, but Alhaitham couldn't be so optimistic when it came to him.

Being away from Kaveh had been an ordeal before. It was a constant ache in his chest, a memory he couldn't get rid of, a phantom presence in his life, a longing that affected every inch of his body and soul.

He created that whole plan thinking he was living for someone who detested him, for someone he would never have again. And then Kaveh came back into his life, back into his arms.

Their time together again had been as short as a breeze, but it was Kaveh.

Separating from him voluntarily now was like tearing his skin off, inch by inch.

He wouldn't stand anyone's bullshit. It was a thousand times harder to love and let go than to have never loved at all.

His mind knew he had been horrible, that he had hurt Kaveh beyond forgiveness. He didn't deserve the peace and comfort he felt when he was with him. Every second Kaveh had spent with him he had wasted on someone who should never have been able to bathe in his light.

His mind might be aware of many things, but it was his instincts that were screaming, tearing at him from within not to let go, it was his heart that was squeezing because he had to settle for letters when he knew Kaveh was suffering because of him. It was his whole being that longed to stand by Kaveh and help him heal the wounds that the world and himself had inflicted on his sun.

He would see Kaveh one more time.

He would make sure he was okay and then... let him go, if that was what he wanted —because it was inevitable that even the one who recognized himself as the worst of sinners, deep down, dream of forgiveness.

No one wanted to believe that the world would ever stop at some point, just as Alhaitham tried to ignore the bad feeling he had when the dusk bird didn't arrive. They were on the battlefield. They had agreed to use a meaningless code because someone might intercept it on the way.

Kaveh could be perfectly fine, as he had promised.

Or he might not be, for what was a promise to someone who had already stabbed you in the back?

It was frightening not knowing how his mate was doing at the moment.

It wasn't long before a Hydro Vision holder appeared and the pockets of fire were gradually extinguished, kick-starting the battle energetically once again. It was faster than Alhaitham expected. Starting other fires would only endanger the Divine Tree, so he had no choice but to watch the battle take a bloody turn.

Alhaitham was aware that there had to be a way to end this faster. For example, he could win the battle on his own, but that would never have served his purpose. The victor could not be a single person if they wanted the people to recognize their autonomy.

No.

He had to formulate another strategy, to surround Azar's army and force their surrender. Although they were unaware of it, most of the rebels and the royal army were avoiding each other. If only he could finish off Azar's army, they could announce the death of the king and victory would go to the popular rebellion.

The infirmary tent was filling up and they were beginning to prepare makeshift stretchers when Tighnari went to confront him with a grim face. His presence there was also part of the plan. As the least favored group between the two armies, Tighnari agreed to be the head of the rebel infirmary to ensure the care of the wounded. Not that he was very happy to have to work alongside Alhaitham right now.

"Alhaitham, this is ridiculous," Tighnari glared at him, wiping the blood stains on his skin. "Think fast. We don't want to be here all day."

Alhaitham couldn't blame him for the curtness when his husband was fighting at the front. Tighnari tried not to show it, but his hands shook a little when he wasn't tending to his patients and his eyes always ended up wandering to the distant battle.

Even with Dehya, Childe and Cyno, the battle didn't look like it was going to end anytime soon. Give it up to the months of organization and preparation of Azar's army. The brainwashing had also been a good idea. Most were probably too scared to retreat.

Still, there was no other way to rack his brain. He wouldn't spit out a new idea.

The dusk bird might have gotten lost along the way, but how could he be sure?

He wasn't going to gamble with Kaveh's life.

He would just have to slip away to the meeting place and make sure Kaveh was there. Which was better for everyone, Kaveh was capable of already having a strategy prepared to end the battle at once. He could berate him all he wanted then, but Alhaitham wouldn't be able to work until he knew Kaveh was okay.

He was about to walk through the door of the tent when a woman crossed his path. He stopped short of colliding with her and the woman staggered backwards in her effort to dodge him before recovering.

She had short dark hair adorned with a tiara and her clean white dress with green and black accents contrasted with the appearance of the soldiers arriving dirty or bloodstained.

"Ah!" she exclaimed when she saw the dragon towering over her with a cold stare that she ignored, "You are Alhaitham, aren't you?"

Alhaitham would have just walked away, but giving her a second glance, she looked familiar.

"Say what you have to quickly," he growled under his breath, turning his gaze back to the battle that continued at the top of the Divine Tree stairs.

The woman gave him a curious look. She must have agreed with him, because she was direct.

"Kaveh sent me to help you." Alhaitham barely began to wonder why and how Kaveh would send someone to help him now that the woman continued, "It didn't seem safe for me to come with my physical body, so I used this one."

My physical body.

Alhaitham was suddenly painfully aware of who would be able to simply borrow a body. She should still be locked in her own consciousness, but she wasn't, and there was only one person capable, ready to wake her up in the midst of battle.

His voice came out strangled, hollow in his ears.

"Where... where is Kaveh?"

And the answer hit him like a bucket of cold water.

"The king just left the palace library about ten minutes ago."

-

Perhaps it was unfair to leave the goddess alone to take charge of the battle when she had just been released from her prison.

Alhaitham didn't care.

He crossed the sky in a flash.

Crystals embedded themselves in his skin as he broke through the palace window.

He didn't care about that either, neither that, nor the gasps of surprise from the soldiers trying to recover.

His surroundings were but a blur as he dashed across the corridors, anyone who dared to cross his path ended up pushed aside like a bug in his path.

But each step still felt so heavy, infinite.

Please.

To every god in Celestia, he begged to be on time for once.

-

When Kaveh embraced him as if he could not allow himself to let go, legs entwined under the sheets, resting his full weight on him, Alhaitham easily recognized himself as the luckiest creature in Teyvat. He didn't want to think about anything, not selfish nobles, rebellions or locked goddesses. Nothing but his mate, for Kaveh was his mate. The thought always managed to put a smile on his face, especially when he could distract himself by playing with his mate's pretty blond locks (just in case he had forgotten that he was his mate).

Kaveh, on the other hand, had always had trouble relaxing, and his eyes carried a tinge of sadness as he looked up from his space on Alhaitham's chest.

"Dragons live a long time," he commented as if to just make a fact clear, but he tightened his embrace.

Alhaitham frowned. Too many thoughts crossed his head at the same time, taking away his serenity.

"Dragon mates too," he answered then, running his hand down Kaveh's back to keep him in place, close to him, where he was sure no one would snatch him away, not even that doubt in his gaze.

"Only if they are not killed."

There it was. He wondered when he would mention it.

With the battle so soon, Alhaitham would sometimes catch Kaveh with a blank stare and heart beating fast with fear, contagious. It's not as if he hadn't considered it. He had to. It was always that lump in his throat, that twist in his stomach, that shiver down his spine that he used to focus again, consider his plans carefully just to keep that idea what it was meant to be. An idea.

"If something were to happen to me..."

"No," Alhaitham refused in a firm voice. "Don't say that."

Kaveh pursed his lips as if he wanted to complain, to press him a little harder.

He couldn't.

Alhaitham pressed his lips over Kaveh's. Only a small sound of complaint seeped between their kisses. Kaveh was so alive on him then and would be for years to come. It had to be that way.

Because Alhaitham hated to let go.

Dragons could live hundreds of years and their mates had longer lives than the rest of their kind, but not long enough. Never long enough.

Alhaitham knew what Kaveh was going to ask, yet he could not reply, not when Kaveh would hate the answer.

He believed he learned to lose the one he had had all his life, only to find Kaveh, to let him intertwine with every aspect of his being, his soul, his heart.

Kaveh had made his home in every inch of his mind, in the blood in his veins, and in the air he breathed.

If anything happened to Kaveh, Alhaitham would have no choice but to follow him.

To the abyss and back.

Chapter Text

They say that once you allow death to be an option, it becomes your friend. It will be the one who will embrace you and hold you, insisting that you choose only its option, promising you a quick way out of any problem.

That was true for Kaveh.

When death knocked at your door, you had no choice but to accept it, and to Kaveh, accepting it came hand in hand with wanting it, looking for a way to control it.

If he had to die, he would convince himself that he wanted to die.

Because living was hard, it was painful. You had to work for things that would never fulfill you, to love and expect people to return that love forever, to accept that you deserved it.

If he had just accepted that he was allowed to live, he would have left the palace earlier, but there he was.

If waking the goddess would save at least one more life, he had to do it. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been worth all the effort from both of them. Otherwise, he would have no right to live either.

Alhaitham had offered him a future, had promised it to him, and illusion was a powerful thing. It was beautiful, able to pierce the darkness of his mind and plant a seed that spoke of his deepest desires, those he had hidden too long ago.

Again and again, Alhaitham, the logical and realistic dragon, made him believe in a happy ending.

Stupid Alhaitham, so selfish, he believed he had control over his life and death.

Stupid Alhaitham, so understanding, would tell him that he didn't deserve any of this.

Stupid Alhaitham, so naive, would beg him to keep fighting even when he wanted to give up.

He would never let him die in peace, would he?

And himself, what a fool he was, letting himself be carried away by his illusions.

What a fool he was, because he still wanted to give him one more chance to prove his sincerity, wanted to forgive him, wanted to love him.

At death's door, he finally recognized his deepest wish.

There was only one thing he always wanted.

Freedom.

He closed his eyes tightly and, in that moment, it was as if the flame in his chest grew until it consumed everything.

Everything he was holding in had flooded out, making every nerve in his body itch to move, to react now.

He should fear, but, instead, it was as if his mind became focused, set on a single desire.

Just like that, suddenly, the fire became a gale.

Kaveh raised his hand, facing the blade that was going for his neck and the wind surrounded him as well, enveloping him like a hurricane.

The claymore bounced back as if it had hit a wall and the man staggered back with a gasp. The force was so much, it sent the claymore flying from his hands.

There was no time to think as the adrenaline had returned, coursing through his entire body along with the wind that flowed through his veins like blood.

"Hey!" the man grunted from where he had fallen, trying to get to his feet.

Kaveh ignored him, throwing himself after the claymore.

It was a bit low to attack someone without a weapon, but he wasn't the first to do it, so when he reached for the handle of the claymore, he didn't even stop to look at the gleam enveloping the blade.

The man, in desperation, reached for Kaveh's fallen claymore and raised it.

Too bad.

Clang!

The man's claymore went flying again and the imbued blade Kaveh held slashed his chest unceremoniously.

The man must have grunted, his eyes wide as blood splattered on his clothes, though Kaveh could barely hear him over the storm roaring in his ears.

He had made it.

He'd won.

He could live.

He would see Alhaitham and beat him and maybe then kiss him until he ran out of air.

Relief brought with it a wave of dizziness and his vision blurred.

Ah.

All at once, he was painfully aware of the stab wound in his back. He couldn't see it, but he felt the liquid spilling down his thighs and even through his confused mind he knew he shouldn't lose this much blood.

He had to get the hell out of there.

He took a step and had to lean against the wall when the world lurched violently.

He hated it.

It was always like that. Just when he thought he had made it, a new stone would appear in his path.

But he couldn't give up now.

He gritted his teeth and shuffled his feet.

It hurt like hell.

The corridor seemed endless.

There were black spots in his vision.

He had to make it.

He stumbled over his feet and the floor greeted him on his knees.

He was going to crawl, he was going to do anything.

As the world seemed to fade before his eyes, a hand rested on his shoulder.

He could barely hear, but there was a sound he would recognize in this life and all subsequent ones. In the midst of the storm, an 'Alhaitham' reached his ears.

-

The first thing Alhaitham saw when he came to a screeching halt in the hallway was blood. He thought the world would stop at the red that deep painted the floor and wall, a trail leading to the makeshift bandage wrapped around his Kaveh's waist.

There wasn't supposed to be that much blood outside the human body.

Kaveh wasn't supposed to be so pale.

He wasn't supposed to be unable to support himself, his limbs lax in Dehya's arms.

Alhaitham was paralyzed, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to breathe.

He screamed at his body to move forward, to take Kaveh in his arms, to call out to him, to beg him not to do this to him, anything.

Because it couldn't be.

The proof was before his eyes, but he wasn't going to accept it.

He wasn't going to lose Kaveh.

Not now.

Not like this.

That's what he kept repeating in his mind, like a mantra, pleading with no answer.

However, his heart was already stopping in his chest and the air could not pass through the lump in his throat.

Would he die?

Perhaps he would die.

He would rather die without Kaveh's eyes, his lips, his smiles. He would die without their stupid arguments, his warmth, his kisses.

His senses were as paralyzed as he was.

He could see Dehya was telling him something, pulling Kaveh closer to him, but he couldn't hear it.

What would he do if he got close, if he tested his pulse and found there was nothing there?

If that was it he wasn't going to stand it.

He promised he would be there.

He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Kaveh accepted his affection, reciprocated his kisses because he believed in him. So why wasn't he there?

It burned. The world was falling apart around him.

And it was all his fault.

A hand tugged at his and Alhaitham didn't even have the strength to stop Dehya as he placed it on Kaveh's chest.

He closed his eyes tightly, as if that would stop the worst from happening.

Then.

A heartbeat.

"Alhaitham!"

Suddenly, the sound came again, running over his senses. The storm inside him, the battle in the distance, the metallic smell of blood, but also the undeniable sound of Kaveh's heart under his palm.

He gasped, the air rushing into his lungs so hard it hurt, but he didn't care.

When Dehya passed Kaveh to him, he took him in his arms with the care the most precious thing in the world deserved.

Kaveh breathed slowly against his chest.

Alive.

For now.

"Get him a doctor!," the woman hurried him, snapping her fingers in front of her eyes. "I'll take care of things here. Isn't he the one you love? Don't let him die, you idiot! Hurry up!"

She didn't have to say it twice.

His legs weren't shaking so much anymore. He just needed a doctor. Quickly.

Alhaitham held Kaveh against his heart, which was beating as if it would burst out of his chest, clinging to that of the love of his life. And if needed, to stop together.

He couldn't know for sure when he hadn't seen the wound, but he had seen the area where the most blood seemed to be coming from. He went over it in his mind a million times and all he could think about were the arteries there. It was minutes. How many minutes had it been already?

"It's okay," he promised quietly as he raced through the halls. His voice sounded so strange to him, but he had to convince Kaveh. Convince himself.

The adrenaline would have made the blood pump like crazy.

The sword came out and he had had nothing to stop it with.

"Hang in there, okay? I've got you, Kaveh."

A shudder, a shaky breath and Alhaitham had to use all his strength not to skid and sprawl on the floor as he saw Kaveh's eyelashes flutter, his eyes widened along with tears. There they were, that crimson he so much adored struggling to focus on him, the pain clear in them.

Yet Kaveh was seeing him. He could still see him.

"Haitham?" His voice was but a whisper, so low that no one but Alhaitham could hear it, meant only for him.

He could have come undone then, but that relief was treacherous. And he felt his arms damp with the blood that had broken through the cloth.

Dehya hadn't even made the effort to get him out of there because he wouldn't have made it all the way to the infirmary.

He still might not make it.

"Don't talk. I'll get you help, okay?"

He was near the window already.

It was easy, really. Tighnari would wait for him at the entrance to the bazaar.

Jumping from here, he would fall directly in front.

He couldn't switch to his dragon form carrying Kaveh in that state, nor did he have time to try, while his human form couldn't fly and certainly wouldn't take the fall. Despite knowing that, he didn't feel nervous.

It was okay.

By his calculations, he just had to focus all his strength on holding him up and take the full impact for him.

Kaveh would get help immediately and he would be fine.

He had to be.

Kaveh's lips trembled and he forced his hand to run along the contour of his jaw, so weak that every touch ached in Alhaitham's soul.

"I..."

The impulse was enough.

His foot barely grazed the edge of the window.

He tightened his grip on Kaveh and jumped.

The wind blew in his ears like never before, a storm threatening to take him with it. He didn't let himself, keeping his legs braced for the impact that was sure to shatter all his bones, but it was okay. He just had to land on his feet.

He would let the gods take his life if that was what he must.

This is how he begged them for someone else.

He didn't hear Kaveh's gasp, but he saw it. His blurry stare met his, eyes widening in surprise, the thoughts passing through them too fast for Alhaitham to read.

He should have been afraid, but seeing the ground closing in behind his mate's sweet face, he couldn't find it within himself.

It was okay.

They say that falling into the void is like breaking your body into pieces from the inside out. Falling at over 120km per hour, Alhaitham imagined that having every bone in his body shattered and piercing all your organs would not be fun or even painless. It would be an upsetting death for someone who all he had ever wanted in his life was a moment of peace, but in the end, he deserved it.

And, if he had to die, it was only natural that it should be like this, clinging to Kaveh's life until the last instant.

For Kaveh, he would start and end wars.

For Kaveh, he would change the nation.

For Kaveh, he would lay down his life without a second thought.

Chapter Text

They say that falling into the void is like breaking your body into pieces from the inside out. Falling at over 120km per hour, Alhaitham imagined that having every bone in his body shattered and piercing all your organs would not be fun or even painless. It would be an upsetting death for someone who all he had ever wanted in his life was a moment of peace, but in the end, he deserved it.

Even the most painful death would not be enough to apologize for all the pain he inflicted on the man who, with panic clear in his eyes, closed his hand over his chest.

The floor was only a few meters away.

Alhaitham waited.

Waited.

Waited.

And, then, the wind stopped.

Or, rather, the wind concentrated around him, holding him, slowly bringing him down.

Alhaitham's eyes widened and, ready for something else, he almost staggered when he felt the ground receive him as if he had just jumped in place.

"H-how?" He turned around, looking for the source of the power, but this side of the Divine Tree was quiet, covered by vegetation, only Tighnari was there, tense as if he had seen the dragon jump hundreds of meters with his best friend in his arms.

"You idiot," Kaveh complained with a soft hit in his chest, closing his eyes despite himself. "Listen to people when they talk to you..."

Even as his body went limp in his arms, his fist remained clenched over his chest, protective. Alhaitham noticed it for the first time. Between his fingers, a light blue glow pulsed brightly.

-

At Alhaitham's request, Tighnari, who was already carrying all his instruments, had already prepared a sheet that barely served as a stretcher. His expression turned somber the moment Alhaitham laid Kaveh face down on the stretcher.

Alhaitham felt his stomach churn again as Tighnari cut the cloth and exposed the wound. It looked like so much blood and Kaveh was so pale and still that, were it not for the faint beating of his heart, he would have gone mad. Kneeling beside Kaveh, he didn't even dare to take his hand.

Why?

Who was the idiot at the end?

After all the pain Alhaitham had caused him, how did he dare use his last strength to save him?

He was doing everything for Kaveh, he would give everything for Kaveh, but Kaveh would not let him.

How could he be so good to him?

He let Tighnari take care of everything, following his instructions mechanically, all the while his mind kept spinning into dark areas, trying to drag him down.

He didn't deserve it.

Kaveh cringed as the needle pierced his body and a slight whimper escaped his lips, yet he didn't even have the strength to try to pull away from the pain. Alhaitham went to reflexively hold his hand and Kaveh's frown relaxed if even a little.

He didn't deserve him, so why did Kaveh always allow him to come back to him?

Alhaitham wasn't sure how long he stood like this, his heart in his fist.

He began to wonder what it would feel like to live like this all his life, hundreds more years.

No.

He knew that if Kaveh... He wouldn't be able to exist in that world or any other.

It would be meaningless.

Without Kaveh, he would only be an empty shell, a being that would only survive, a monster without a heart because the only one he had would have been taken away.

So he tried to quiet those thoughts, to take refuge in the feeling of Kaveh's hand under his, in the beat of his heart.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

"Alhaitham," Tighnari's voice interrupted his thoughts after what seemed like an eternity. He looked up so quickly that a pang shot through his neck, but he ignored it.

"How is he?"

Tiredness was evident on his face and he shook his head.

Alhaitham felt the world crumble on his shoulders.

"Don't look at me like that," Tighnari sighed. "He's stable, for now. He needs a healer soon or he might now make it, but you know you can't just bring in anyone if the plan is still on track."

Noise.

"I can have him healed and kill the healer later," he thought aloud.

Anything.

"No, you're not going to do that," the doctor put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him with a stern look. He didn’t care, Alhaitham was already baring his fangs at him, a menacing snarl rising from deep in his chest.

At that instant, he didn't care if he had to wipe out everyone on the battlefield.

Kaveh might hate him, he might wish never to see him again and Alhaitham would let him, but he would not let him die.

"That won't be necessary," the soft voice came from the side, interrupting the tense moment, and the woman dressed as a maid walked towards them.

Tighnari took his hand off Alhaitham when he realized he wasn't going to attack, his gaze wary again, but not violent.

"Can you heal him?"

Lesser Lord Kusanali knelt beside them and Alhaitham gave her space without letting go of Kaveh's hand.

"Let me try."

The goddess placed her hands on the wound and closed her eyes. Alhaitham watched her every move intently, unable to keep away the fear that clenched his jaw and made him scowl, ready to fight a goddess if he had to.

The air glowed green as the Dendro energy passed from his hands to Kaveh and soon the tension was easing from Kaveh's face under his touch. Alhaitham felt the hand he held squeeze his own and his heart skipped a beat.

When the goddess opened her eyes again, there was tranquility in them.

"He'll be fine," she announced, and those words alone were enough to make Alhaitham's whole body feel like jelly, the relief so strong it almost disarmed him. He struggled to hold himself together. "There were traces of elemental energy in his body; that saved him. I didn't know Kaveh had a Vision."

"He didn't," Tighnari said, joy making his voice tremble.

However, all three fixed their gaze on Kaveh's clenched fist, in the Anemo Vision glowing between his fingers.

Alhaitham's eyes stung now that he could recognize it.

Kaveh had chosen himself, for once. His dream had saved him.

He wanted to embrace him, to make sure he didn't have to live anything bad in his life.

He didn't.

That dream may not contemplate Alhaitham.

It was all right.

Kaveh would live.

"He's not completely healthy," the goddess continued. "He's going to have to rest. As I understand it, he won't be able to do that in Sumeru."

"I know a good doctor in Liyue. I'm sure he'll keep this a secret as long as we pay him," Tighnari hastened to say, turning to Alhaitham, as if waiting for him to say something, but Alhaitham still couldn't find the words.

All he could think about was that Kaveh was well, Kaveh would live, Kaveh would be free at last.

They made it.

Tighnari turned back to the goddess, the hairs on his tail standing on end in tension, his voice tinged with anxiety again. "And.... And the battle?"

"That general you're worried about is fine," the goddess smiled shyly. "The people won. The battle is over."

Chapter Text

Night fell early over the city. Though the main streets were still silent, the top of the Divine Tree was illuminated as always and the sounds of celebration reached to the foot of the stairs surrounding it. Voices came from rebels and soldiers of the kingdom alike calling out the capture of Azar at the edge of the city, how he had tried to flee like a coward when his army was defeated only to have his way blocked by a group of rebels, others celebrated the return of the goddess of wisdom, and still others began to tell the story of the heroes of the battle.

There where the lights of the celebration could not reach, five figures gathered.

"If that's all, you'd better leave soon," Cyno nodded, his gaze fixed on the forest in the distance. Despite being bandaged to the core, he was still standing as firm as ever. The only sign of mental exhaustion after fighting at the front was that he was hugging Tighnari around the waist, refusing to let go even though he was telling him to leave. "I don't want Nari to come back too late."

"I'm just going to help him adjust Kaveh and I'll be back, it'll be fine," Tighnari insisted, but he let Cyno hold him in place.

They could not let anyone see them carrying the king away from the city and for that reason alone they had waited until nightfall, so now the anxiety to get Kaveh to safety had Alhaitham shifting his weight from one foot to the other, impatient.

Kaveh looked more peaceful now, lying on the stretcher they had prepared more carefully afterwards. The color had returned to his skin and his chest rose and fell quietly with his breathing. It was as if he didn't have a care in the world. It's not like Alhaitham was dying inside because he wasn't waking up, even though Tighnari said that was normal. And that he most likely hadn't fallen asleep all night trying to finish the device to wake the goddess.

"Don't worry, Alhaitham!" Dehya joined in more cheerfully. It seemed that even her wounds were not sapping her energy. "I'll make sure things don't get too crazy up there."

"Hm," Nahida, as the goddess had asked to be called, smiled trying to reassure him, still in Katherine's skin. "I must say I'm curious to see a human celebration."

Alhaitham looked at the people who had helped him get there once again. He felt he hadn't thanked them enough. Even then, he had no words to do so, so he just nodded. He would find some way another time.

"About the men who wounded Kaveh," Alhaitham turned to Dehya with a look that left no doubt of his intentions. "Are they locked up?"

Dehya nodded, tilting her head to the side with a fierce smile.

"They're in the prison and there they'll wait patiently for you to return."

Alhaitham seemed to like Dehya's adaptability after all.

Tighnari broke free from Cyno's embrace with an amused snort, moving closer to Alhaitham to let them both go. Tighnari picked up one side of the stretcher and Alhaitham the other. They were about to leave when he remembered something and half turned.

"Ah, Nahida, there's a Fatui who helped us who wants to talk to you," he added as if in passing. "If you have time, if not, I'll deal with him later."

The goddess looked at him curiously.

"Is that so? Well, if he was helpful, I suppose I could do it."

Alhaitham nodded and, together with Tighnari, set out on his way to the Avidya Forest and beyond.

-

Kaveh slept all the way to Liyue and was still sleeping when Alhaitham carried him to the bed that the girl working with the healer Baizhu prepared for him.

Alhaitham made the chair beside him his home, letting anxiety boil up inside him like water in a fire, wondering if Kaveh would be disappointed to see him there.

And he waited.

Waited.

Waited.

Kaveh awoke with a start, gasping and sitting up with a jolt.

"Ha- Ow!" he groaned, arching up as he got a pang in his stomach.

Alhaitham rose instantly, his hands raised as if he wanted to grab him by the shoulders to pull him back to bed, but was afraid of his reaction. Was he going to have a panic attack again? It made him wonder how many times he wasn't there to take care of him when they were apart and now...

Kaveh turned to him, blinking as if trying to reconcile himself to his surroundings, and then grabbed him by the coat and tugged. Alhaitham nearly fell on top of him, barely supporting himself by bracing his knee on the bed.

"Ka-"

He couldn't finish speaking that Kaveh's lips crashed against his.

Alhaitham grunted under his breath, closing his eyes.

He should just move away. He had no right to enjoy the sweetness of Kaveh's mouth, how easy it was to lose himself in it when he kissed him like that, as if he wanted to taste every part of him. Kaveh nibbled his lip gently and Alhaitham, always unable to deny him anything, opened his mouth.

The moment he licked the contour of Kaveh's mouth, Kaveh bit his tongue and pushed him away.

"I don't like you very much!," he complained, his cheeks a lovely red after his kissing session, lips glistening with saliva. "Idiot, how could you jump from the palace to the foot of the Divine Tree in your human form?! Are you crazy?! Don't you know what your bones would look like on impact?!"

Alhaitham first looked at him with his eyes wide open and his hand over his mouth, but seeing the energy with which he was complaining, he couldn't help but let out a breath of laughter.

Kaveh's lips quivered with pent-up emotion and he scrunched up his face as if he was going to cry, making the urge to laugh instantly go away.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, guilt seeping into his voice again because he didn't want Kaveh to cry. "I panicked. I couldn't let you die."

"Well, then you'd rather die yourself and leave me alone," Kaveh accused him, crossing his arms to cover himself. "What a good idea, I'm sure I would have been very happy."

Alhaitham didn't know what to say.

He had really thought Kaveh wouldn't want to see him again, but now he was worried that he had been reckless? Well, maybe reckless was too mild a word for the situation.

But Kaveh was worried about him.

Kaveh... didn't he want him to leave him?

And as tears began to fall down his mate's cheeks, Alhaitham was too perplexed to do anything but lean over the bed and hug him. Kaveh made a little noise of protest, but his arms already went to wrap around him as well and then he was sinking his face into the crook of Alhaitham's neck, breathing snot as he cried softly and breaking the dragon's heart with every little shudder that shook Kaveh's form.

Kaveh, who had never allowed himself to suffer, was unraveling for the first time.

He didn't know how long it was before a whimper reached his ears.

"My back hurts."

Alhaitham helped Kaveh lie down again, arranging the sheets as he asked, let him wipe away the tears as if they had never been there.

"How was the battle?," he asked finally, and though it was obvious he was trying to disguise it, Alhaitham could tell he was holding his breath.

He sighed.

"'We won', of course. Cyno, Tighnari, Lesser Lord Kusanali and even that Nobile guy are fine." The next thing was harder to say, but he wasn't going to be able to hide it from him, so he just took a pause before adding, "There were two hundred and thirty-two dead between all three armies."

Logically speaking, those numbers were very low for the fact that there were close to a thousand soldiers in the battle, but even Alhaitham couldn't be proud, much less when a shadow fell over Kaveh's face.

Kaveh pursed his lips, unable to keep them from trembling, and his eyes grew bright again, yet he did not cry.

Alhaitham almost felt he could read his mind.

At that moment, the despair Kaveh’s his heart spoke of self-loathing.

He wondered if it was worth it for them to do this for him.

He wondered if the results would ever make up for the loss, knowing that the answer was no.

As if he was entirely to blame for a battle that had been simmering for years.

As if it wouldn't have happened the same, or even worse, if he hadn't been there to lead it.

And so, there was no rest for the victors either.

"I'm going to bed," Kaveh muttered, turning back to the wall.

He must have been hungry. Knowing Kaveh, he probably couldn't eat the day before the battle either, just because of nerves. Alhaitham didn't urge him, just got up to leave and let him process everything on his own, but as soon as he did, Kaveh spoke again.

"Can you stay? I just... I don't want to talk."

And he sounded so devastated, so shy even to ask that, that Alhaitham stayed.

He remembered that, as mates, they always felt more comfortable when they were feeling each other, so, gently, as if afraid of scaring a little animal, Alhaitham knelt down next to the bed and laid his head on it, if barely brushing against Kaveh's back. Kaveh only tensed for an instant before his body relaxed.

They did not speak.

For the first time after months of tension, of lies, of forcing himself to be as rational as possible, Alhaitham felt truly safe.

It was all over.

Kaveh was alive.

The channel opened and a flood of emotions washed over him.

All he had ever wanted was to live a peaceful life.

Now, people had died because of him. He had hurt the person he loved most in the world.

Perhaps worst of all, he had been forgiven.

The people of Sumeru would consider him a hero.

Kaveh had kissed him as if he couldn't bear to let him go.

And his heart was squeezing, unable to bear the guilt that was now as real as a thousand knives sinking into his skin.

What would his grandmother say if she saw him now?

He let out a ragged breath and, for once, they allowed themselves to suffer together.

-

After a while, Alhaitham left to get food for Kaveh and warned him that he would have to go back to Sumeru for at least a few hours to talk to Nahida and see how they would do things from now on. Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do now, Kaveh agreed.

Something in his face must have betrayed his reluctance to part with his mate, because the zombie girl working with Baizhu, who he now knew was named Qiqi, said in her soft, slow voice:

"He'll be fine. I will take care of him."

He had no choice but to leave for Sumeru.

-

After that, Alhaitham started going back and forth from Sumeru to Liyue.

Moving past his reaction on the first day, Kaveh was in bed for several days.

On an impulse, he had decided on freedom, which did not mean he fully understood it.

It was a wonder he didn't have nightmares at night, as if the cloak of Alhaitham's presence absorbed them, and it was just that, when the dragon was with him, no matter how quiet they were, he thought he could understand a little of what he wanted. The problem came as soon as he left. Alone within the four walls of that room far from home, he couldn't help but wonder if this was okay.

He asked for it and Alhaitham handed him the list of the people who died in the battle. He went through them with tears in his eyes, wondering what would have become of them if not for him. No, not for him. He had to tell himself that it hadn't all been his fault.

He knew he had to talk about it, but it was as simple as that, if he allowed himself to talk to Alhaitham about how he felt, about what would happen next with them, he would be accepting that he had any right to get over it, to be happy.

He would toss and turn in bed just to feel the sting of the claymore and imagine what it would have been like if he had simply died, or if that was what he deserved.

Then Alhaitham would come back and, despite his look full of worry, give him his space. Once Kaveh remembered the moment he thought Alhaitham would die, he couldn't follow that line of thinking.

He didn't want to die and Alhaitham didn't want him to die, so he had to learn to live.

-

Baizhu had removed his bandages to look at his arm wound. Despite his doubts, his body was healing well, so the doctor seemed satisfied. Kaveh watched him carefully bandage it again and couldn't help but ask.

"Do you not mind taking care of me?"

Baizhu raised his eyebrows, surprised by the question, but after seeing Kaveh's expression, he laughed softly.

"Why would I mind?"

"Many people died because of me, so..." Kaveh couldn't finish his words, feeling a little silly for asking.

Baizhu finished bandaging his arm.

"I'm a doctor, it's natural for me to take care of my patients. It doesn't bother me."

The snake on Baizhu's shoulder, Changsheng, hissed in disapproval.

"You think too much, boy," Changsheng shook her head, "Do you feel guilty?"

Kaveh nodded sheepishly.

"That's fine, but they're already dead. You're still alive and will live for I don't know how many more years, so just live."

-

Alhaitham returned after the sky had turned dark, in the midst of a torrential rain that fortunately was not a thunderstorm, but still left him soaked from head to tail. As he changed shape, his body was still damp and the dry clothes bothered him far more than they would have bothered him stuck on. He was thinking about jumping in for a shower at once when, to his surprise, he found Kaveh awake, waiting for him with some food.

Kaveh put down the book in his hands, his eyes filled with a concern that hurt Alhaitham.

"I knew you were coming anyway!," he complained, grabbing a towel he already had beside him and passing it to him. "You shouldn't come back if it's raining, what if something happens to you?"

"Did you get up to look for that?," Alhaitham asked, reaching for the towel. He had grabbed the edge, trying not to touch Kaveh's hand, when Kaveh turned his grip around and tugged on his wrist, making him bend down.

At once, Kaveh took the towel again and held it down to ruffle his hair as he dried it himself.

"Qiqi handed it to me, so it's okay." Although somewhat clumsy because he could only use one arm, Alhaitham couldn't bring himself to tell him that it was better if he just showered, allowing Kaveh to make of him what he wanted. When he got tired, Kaveh let him go and said, pretending his voice to sound determined, "We need to talk."

Oh.

So they were going to do that now.

Properly.

Right.

"I saved you food, so take a bath and come back, hm?"

-

Kaveh waited for him to finish eating before clearing his throat and speaking again.

"You know, when I was fighting for my life, it was tempting to just give up," he began, as if the very idea didn't make the food in Alhaitham's stomach twist like poison. His gaze met Alhaitham's for only a moment before he looked away again, "But in my mind, I kept remembering your face when you asked me to let you save me. You looked like you were going to break down if I didn't agree. It was so irritating. So I kept fighting, even when I thought I was going to die for real."

Kaveh fiddled with his Vision in his hands, as bright as a light, the proof of his desires materialized.

"You told me I had the right to live my own life and I held on to that right then and there, so I got this," he turned the Vision around to reveal the Anemo symbol. "It was what I always wanted. To be free, I mean." And he tilted his head, looking at Alhaitham with a vulnerability in his eyes that wasn't on purpose, that escaped him as always that it was just the two of them. "Is it really okay for me to want to be free? After what happened?"

Alhaitham couldn't bear to see Kaveh like that.

"It's okay," he promised, "You did the best you could with the situation we put you in, you don't have to take all the blame. I..." Without realizing it, he had begun to squeeze his heart through his clothes, trying to tear at that treacherous organ that had brought them both here. "I'm so sorry."

Kaveh made a noise of acknowledgment, but continued to fiddle with his Vision, so Alhaitham continued.

"This battle had been brewing since before your father became king. It was only a matter of time before it erupted. If they had wanted to use you as a scapegoat, if you hadn't stopped the nobles on your own, perhaps it would have been even worse than it was." That was unfair. Kaveh had suddenly fallen there, when he had hardly any idea how political relations worked in practice, only to be used and, for refusing that, he was cast away. "You had no reason to do it, but you did it because you thought it was the right thing to do. Even before that, I'm sorry I was rude when you just wanted my support."

"Yes," Kaveh sighed a shaky sound and reached out his hand. Alhaitham took it and let their fingers intertwine. "When I thought about what you used to tell me later, it made sense, even if I didn't like it. It still hurt."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know that now. I... I didn't want to push you away either. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Alhaitham lifted Kaveh's hand, brushing his knuckles with his lips. Kaveh flinched slightly, but let him. How could someone so strong feel so fragile? "Forgive me for not coming back. I thought you hated me, or should hate me."

He still did.

Kaveh snorted.

"As if I could. I did think you hated me when you came to the palace. You kept trying to annoy me."

"I was trying to get your attention," Alhaitham admitted. Already he felt his ears burning.

Kaveh's laugh was soft, barely more than an exhalation, but it warmed Alhaitham's heart far more than it should have.

"What are you, a child?"

Kaveh's eyes sparkled again and made Alhaitham wonder how he had ever been far from losing that light. If this is how Kaveh should always be, and even more excited, always beaming at his own happiness.

"I missed you so much when we were apart," Alhaitham whispered, his voice heavy with sincerity. "It was as if the world was a second away from falling apart without you. But you... why did you want to die?"

There was the question. They had evaded it for too long already.

The glow disappeared, replaced by something more serious and vulnerable.

"Help me lie down."

Alhaitham did as he asked. This time, Kaveh did not turn his back on him, but stared at the ceiling for a few long seconds before speaking again.

"I missed you too, you know," he said thoughtfully. "So I started working like there was no tomorrow. Then I met Tighnari and Cyno and thought I'd be fine, as long as I didn't think of you under any circumstances." A graceless smile curved his lips, as if the thought was so ridiculous that he didn't understand how it even seemed coherent to him. It disappeared as quickly as it came. "When I found out Azar wanted to attack, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want a battle. I took it as my personal failure. And then I tried to get out of bed and I couldn't. It was terrifying. It was like being king was crushing me, choking me. Was I supposed to do that for the rest of my life? I couldn't."

Hopelessness now tinged Kaveh's words, showing a penny of what he must have felt at that moment, and Alhaitham could not imagine how much pain he had to endure on his own. He blamed himself again. If only he had insisted, if only he had stayed.

"When I got back to Grandmother's palace, I could move again. That was the only place where the weight of the crown had ever been light, even if it was filled with your absence, so I guess that was why. And after that, I felt guilty because I ran away. People would be waiting for me, I had to go back, but I knew I couldn't. If I went back, I was going to have to prepare for a battle. If they wanted me to die, I at least wanted to choose how. After that day in the tavern, I was planning to throw myself off the tower or something."

Alhaitham was never the type to become a mess when he cried. The tears slipped quietly and only a slight tremor would give away his state. He was sure Kaveh didn't notice, staring at the ceiling as he was, until Alhaitham straddled him, careful not to rest his weight on him, and Kaveh's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry," Alhaitham repeated hoarsely, seeking his gaze. "I'm sorry. I should have been there."

After a moment of shock, Kaveh reached up and pulled him to himself. Tucking him into the curve of his neck, he stroked his hair as if he deserved it.

"But you were there to stop me. Twice."

"One of them was entirely my fault. I'm sorry."

Kaveh's neck was so pleasant, smelled so familiar, that Alhaitham just wanted to worship Kaveh until he could heal from what ailed him. Kaveh's fingers entwining in his tresses encouraged him to plant a little kiss on the beginning of his collarbone, subtle, but Kaveh shivered anyway.

"Yes," he murmured, trying to contain his voice, "I thought you used me for your rebellion, that you lied to me. I didn't even understand why you would want to stage a rebellion in the first place, but to get back at me for hurting you, so I thought anything."

"I'm sorry," some tears had moistened Kaveh's neck, so Alhaitham planted kisses where these had fallen, tasting the salt on his lips, moving up towards his jaw, "Everyone kept telling me I should tell you soon and I kept looking for excuses like a fearful idiot. I'm really sorry."

"You shouldn't have kept it from me."

Alhaitham had come up until he could see Kaveh's eyes. Kaveh wanted to be hard on him, yet his eyes only revealed how terrified he had been too.

"I know. I'm sorry," he promised, leaving him another kiss at the edge of his eyes.

"And you shouldn't try to sacrifice yourself for me. Ever again."

Alhaitham was still a little embarrassed about that. He was going to just nod, but remembered something else.

"I won’t if you promise to live. Especially... I don't want you to ask me to kill you. Ever again."

Kaveh was the one who looked embarrassed then, yet he nodded, sealing their promises.

"We were a little dramatic, I guess. We'll have to talk more. Really talk."

Alhaitham agreed with that too, though he could hardly believe it.

After all they had been through, there would be a future for the two of them.

"If you still want to take me," his voice was barely a whisper, a plea to the person holding him, "I'm not going to hide anything from you ever again."

Kaveh's heart skipped a beat under him, and his hands traced the outline of his head to the back of his neck, leaving sweet sparks wherever they passed.

"You say that like we're not mates. I don't think I could take anyone else."

"Actually, for a dragon's mate, it's easier to separate from the other and maybe after a while you won't even realize it. Who it affects the most..."

Kaveh was already rolling his eyes as soon as he began to speak. He finished grabbing him by the cheeks, pulling him down until their lips locked together again.

This kiss was sweet, lips dancing to the beat of sincere love. They still had many things to talk about, but this was a new beginning and there would be plenty of time afterwards. For the first time, no hidden things, no lies between the two.

Alhaitham didn't wonder if they could really get through everything they had been through just to get this far. He knew for sure that as long as Kaveh was willing to kiss him like this, he wouldn't give up until the past was nothing more than something to learn from.

Love had once driven him crazy.

Now, that same love would be the one to bring him back.

Chapter Text

Being one of the "victors" came with other responsibilities, much to Alhaitham's dismay. Even with all the support of the common people, reorganizing the power that the monarchy had held for so long was no easy job.

With the Akademiya as the new center of government, Alhaitham would have preferred to leave things to them, but the goddess of wisdom insisted on having his help and Kaveh asked him to do it, saying he could even help him if it ended up being too much work.

Adding to the fact that he would need money to pay for Baizhu's treatment and the debt he insisted on taking on from the magnate from Sangemah Bay after he saw Kaveh depressed about not paying it off, Alhaitham got himself a regular job as the Grand Scribe of the Akademiya. From then on, eight hours of his life was based on striving to complete the scribe's work and whatever other necessary business Nahida asked of him in the day so as not to burden Kaveh with more.

"Knock, knock," said a voice instead of knocking.

"I don't remember having an appointment with you today," Alhaitham replied in his monotone voice a little colder than usual. "Ask for one and maybe I'll see you in two months."

"I was just coming to say goodbye to my best friend," Childe scoffed, walking into the office anyway. "I got what I wanted, but you still owe me something."

"You think so?" Alhaitham didn't even look up from the documents he was reading. Maybe after signing this he should go somewhere else. "I don't remember accepting."

"Huh? Don't play dumb, it was when..." Childe stopped to think, searching his memory, and when he realized it, the air filled with tension. "You think you're pretty smart, don't you?"

What is not said in words, could not be used against him. And Alhaitham had never really said he would give him the rematch.

He stretched back in the chair lazily, though a smirk had already made the corners of his lips turn up as their gazes met.

"You wanted to go to Liyue. Go. If you beat Rex Lapis, I'll give you your rematch," he said.

"Ha. Let's see about that."

Alhaitham paid no more attention to him.

Even if, by some miracle of Celestia, he really did defeat the oldest Archon in Teyvat, he would still have to find Alhaitham if he even wanted to fight him.

Next time, it wouldn't be so easy.

-

After the pain had subsided, Alhaitham often found Kaveh wanting to climb the walls.

"Is it okay for him to do that?" He asked Baizhu after he had found Kaveh literally climbing a tree to reach some kite that had gone off a child.

"He's healing well," Baizhu replied with his simple smile.

"He's very energetic," added Changsheng, looking at him from the doctor's shoulder. "We haven't discharged him yet, though."

"If you're worried about him, you could find him something to entertain him."

Kaveh had never been the type to sit quietly for long, except when he was drawing or reading something that interested him.

"Is he a child?" Alhaitham complained with a soft smile.

The next time he went to the Akademiya, he looked up the curriculum of the Kshahrewar Darshan and brought with him a bunch of books from the library. Kaveh protested that those book's content was too easy and that he would like to learn something new, but he soon found himself going over the basics diligently, and even made Alhaitham memorize a few questions to ask the professors.

Those days, there was still a certain nostalgia and worry in Kaveh's eyes when he thought Alhaitham wasn't looking, but when he talked about architecture, it was as if he was back to being the same prince he had known in the tower.

Alhaitham thought he deserved more, much more happiness, but for now, kissing him goodbye to leave for work again, he would settle for that.

-

Once upon a time there was a second prince named Ranim.

As the second son, he had always been freer than his brother, the heir to the crown. Their ideas always clashed and so they could never get along, but Ranim loved his brother, just as he loved the kingdom and the stars.

While the elder became king, Ranim married a beautiful girl named Faranak. They both led their region with the best disposition, always ready to help those in need, and with the same teachings their only son, the little prince Kaveh, grew up.

At some point, word reached the king that the contributions from the Ranim's region were not enough. Whether he had kept taxes low or not, he did not intend it as an offense to the king, but his brother had always been paranoid, so that day he came with his family to pay his respects.

Little Kaveh was but a light, too good for royalty, and he had the soul of an artist. Who would blame an artist for seeing a crown and pointing out its grandeur?

Even the king could not condemn his nephew for an unfortunate remark.

Yet he could take revenge on the prince, and there were a million ways to stall progress.

Sachin came to him after he had been urged to more than double taxes. He was a brilliant scholar and had just returned from the desert after years of solitary research. Ranim always thought that those who did not listen to scholars were destined to fail, so he agreed to meet with him.

Whatever he told him then convinced him and, with Sachin as his advisor, Ranim rallied his people to seek a better future.

It wasn't easy to accept that one's own brother was a horrible person, yet when you had a family and hundreds of people to protect, when you were the only one who could change things, there wasn't much choice, or so one wanted to think.

People's discontent with the royals was rising as Ranim seemed to become more and more popular, and he didn't even need his informants to know that the king was putting a target on his head.

They couldn't say he didn't try. He talked to the king several times, presented him with alternatives, put off the moment for months. Even with Sachin whispering in his ear, he would have kept doing it for longer.

And then he discovered the little secret of the king and the nobility.

Nahida said their talk was brief. She explained to Ranim her situation and his face kept changing until resolution was clear in his eyes. He promised her that he would return to rescue her soon.

That day, Ranim went to confront the king.

All the others knew was that the king fell ill soon after and that in the end, even on his deathbed, there was only one person who would have believed his accusations without thinking, for how could good Ranim do anything to his dear brother?

On the day of his coronation, the prince who had dreamed of peace died with a dagger in his heart, the same dagger that buried in the child who saw him join the stars he once loved.

-

Nahida had given him input, yet it was Javad who filled in most of the information, letting the pieces fall into place in Alhaitham's mind.

"I see. How many people know about this?" He slowly asked the man who now sat nervously in his office.

The fact that he had not been sent to jail right away was a small kindness he would receive for his contributions in information before the conflict, but that did not take away from the fact that Javad had actively worked for Amin, one of the rebel governors closest to Azar. They even delayed his trial. Let's just say that his having to talk to the dragon that had tormented him for months was just to balance the scales.

Javad shook his head.

"Only me, because I was undercover for a long time. The rest were found and made to disappear."

Forcing him to stay hidden and serve the same people who had murdered his comrades if he didn't want to suffer the same fate.

He had a choice and he made it, just like Ranim.

"And Sachin?"

"I heard he went back to the desert and never showed up again."

"I see. Thank you for your contribution."

-

By then, Kaveh had been discharged, so Alhaitham had rented a small house on the outskirts of Liyue City, where they could be close enough to civilization that Kaveh could go out when he wanted to, but not so that anyone could see him if he just wanted to run around.

A few days later, Alhaitham gave Kaveh Sachin's works with his notations, and later Kaveh lay on his chest for him to tell him everything he discovered.

"Then, after he had been unable to accomplish anything, he gave up and stopped believing in everything," Kaveh concluded, his voice muffled from being buried in the line in the middle of his chest. "I guess I understand that to some degree, but I've had enough of that." There he raised his head to glance at him, the determination clear in his voice. "I want to believe. I guess that's what my father was trying too."

Alhaitham hummed, tucking one of Kaveh's unruly locks behind his ear, marveling at even being able to touch him like that. "But you know you don't need to do such grandiose things anymore, right? Now you can just be you."

"I guess," Kaveh murmured, leaning on his hand to let Alhaitham scratch behind his ear. "That's what I'll try."

"Will you try to be happy?"

"I'm happy when I'm with you."

How easy he had it to warm his heart.

Alhaitham had to grab him by the butt and pull him up so their faces were close to each other and he could kiss him. Kaveh made a little whimper, but accepted the kiss anyway. Tightening his legs around Alhaitham's waist, he let his hands run down his back, lifting him up to create a sweet friction at his crotch.

"Thank you for telling me this," Kaveh said as he broke away to kiss the corner of his mouth and down his neck.

Alhaitham felt the fire had begun to burn again, unable to resist any of Kaveh's advances, and he bit his lip to keep from moaning at the nibble on his shoulder. One of the hands on Kaveh's butt came up, reaching under his loose T-shirt to caress circles on his back.

"If you want to thank me, take care of yourself."

"Mhm," Kaveh caught the hand quickly, causing Alhaitham to pout. "Now, stay still. I'm doing something."

And who was he to say no, really?

-

Alhaitham froze for a second before entering the house with a murderous gaze on the redhead who sat so calmly at the living room table sipping a cup of coffee.

"Kaveh, honey, why did you let a terrorist into the house?" he asked casually, going to stand right next to his partner, who was so very calm with his own cup.

It was the coffee Alhaitham had bought as they were about to finish the previous one and he hadn't gotten a chance to taste it yet. It smelled good. He was annoyed that Kaveh had made one for Childe.

"Still as rude as ever," Childe complained jokingly. "No one got hurt, you know. And it's just that I didn't want to return to Snezhnaya without checking on my friend here."

"Just because no one got hurt doesn't mean you didn't try to destroy the place where said friend lives," Alhaitham spat venomously, letting one hand rest on Kaveh's shoulder.

"That would never have happened," Childe said with conviction. "If Liyue's people and the Traveler hadn't defeated Osial, Rex Lapis would have shown up to fight him."

Alhaitham growled under his breath.

"You didn't beat Rex Lapis, so I hope you know you won't get any advances from me," though he was really looking forward to fighting Childe now. No matter how well Kaveh was, coming back from Sumeru only to find all the mess the battle had left behind wasn't funny at all.

The Harbinger snorted at those words, as if they reminded him of a bad memory.

"Never mind. It's still pending."

Kaveh shook his head in amusement and stood in front of Alhaitham, drawing his full attention with his soft smile.

"Alright, alright. We were just talking and, in fact, Tartaglia was already leaving."

"He should just say goodbye to his boyfriend," Alhaitham added reluctantly.

That earned him another grudging snort from Childe.

Interesting.

Alhaitham smirked.

How he loved happy endings.

-

Back and forth, the time passed quickly.

Alhaitham counted many more accomplishments.

He helped establish the government governed by the Akademiya and regulated by Nahida.

He added the distance learning system.

He finished paying off the debt to Lord Sangemah Bay.

He exposed the late king's work and battle plans, revealing his intentions to improve things for the people, thus cleaning up his image. Even if, in the end, there would always be people who would want to deny the truth, those the king had helped would not let his good deeds be forgotten.

And he made Kaveh's eyes shine, over and over again. There was no accomplishment better than that.

-

Kaveh sometimes felt that the Akademiya was more difficult than ruling a kingdom, even with the foundations he already had, but that didn't take away from the fact that it was much more fun.

He just couldn't help himself. As soon as Alhaitham got the distance learning courses opened, he signed up for the Kshahrewar Darshan and threw himself into studying as much as he could. Seeing his passion, the dragon enrolled out of curiosity in the Haravatat Darshan —and Kaveh snorted because of course it had to be something related to letters.

Just like before, when he was immersed in his drawings, it was easy to forget everything he could worry about now that he was studying to become an architect.

An architect, Kaveh.

For once, he would have a degree that he would earn for himself. And wasn't that all he needed, really?

He was a year away from finishing his studies when news that they were looking for people for the reconstruction of the Jade Chamber was heard around Liyue. There was an advertisement near their inn and, as soon as Alhaitham saw him sigh as he passed it, he suggested he give it a try. How easy it was for him to say. Kaveh was just about to start his internship. Getting a place in such an ambitious project couldn't be that simple. So, to prove a point, he went to apply as an intern with the architect in charge of the work and got a position on the design.

A few months later, Alhaitham was holding his hand as they watched the new Jade Chamber rise. They had been invited to be on top when it went up, but Kaveh had preferred this place. From there, he could watch what he had helped create rise into the sky as if it were a feather or a comet, further than he could ever reach on his own.

"Was it that easy?" he asked himself as soon as he managed to catch his breath.

Alhaitham laughed at him as if he had said the silliest thing in the world, and yet he could still find in it the note of affection that was always there when it came to Kaveh.

"Of course not," the dragon said, grabbing Kaveh by the chin and pulling him close to him, pressing a little kiss on his cheek. "It's just that you're that good."

And his stomach filled with butterflies and his heart squeezed with joy.

That never used to happen when he was king, that feeling that made him want everyone to see what he had done.

Not expecting them to validate it, not expecting them to understand.

Just because he was proud, for once, of something he had done for himself.

He wanted to go back to the past just to tell his old self, who more than once had wanted to give up, that there was something beyond all that fog and confusion, that darkness that seemed to want to devour him.

There were the possibilities he hadn't dared to imagine.

There were hundreds of designs and ideas he never even imagined.

There was the way their intertwined fingers fit together and Alhaitham's sparkling eyes when he smiled.

Maybe that was all he wanted in his life and that was okay.

-

Kaveh sometimes thought it should be illegal that he could go to sleep together with Alhaitham, wake up next to him, live in the same space. They were such simple things and yet they filled his soul just because he could be together with the one he loved.

Sometimes, he lost himself in him, and he could not help tracing the outline of his face, of his lips, of those eyes that hardly left him for a long time. He knew Alhaitham wasn't perfect, neither of them were, but sometimes he came so close that Kaveh couldn't help but start searching for answers, wondering how he was still there by his side.

"You're staring at me," Alhaitham pointed out, closing the book he was reading to turn his attention to Kaveh. "Did you finish your work?"

Kaveh tried to hide the itch on his reddening skin, turning his eyes back to the half-finished design he'd been working on all afternoon.

"No," he admitted, deciding that Alhaitham's view was more interesting, he glanced at him some more. "I don't think I'm understanding what I want to do..."

Alhaitham put the book aside and reached out to Kaveh. Of course he got up and went to take it, allowing the dragon to guide him to sit astride his lap.

Kaveh waited for him to say something, yet Alhaitham simply stood watching him with those piercing eyes that always ended up making Kaveh squirm with embarrassment. Seriously, he had no reason to appreciate him with such adoration.

"What?" he spat, looking away again.

"Nothing, just that you're beautiful," Alhaitham declared matter-of-factly, causing Kaveh's face to heat up again. When would be the day when he wouldn't blush at a sudden compliment from his partner?

Kaveh tried his best to maintain a neutral expression, but Alhaitham was always good at reading his expressions and chuckled softly. Grabbing Kaveh by the waist, he sent him down, all his weight in his lap, and Kaveh made a little noise when, as if that was his place in the world, he nuzzled into the curve of Kaveh's neck, taking in his scent. One hand went up to his back, tracing each valley with the precision of a connoisseur and holding him in place.

"Haitham..." How easy he had it to turn that warmth in his body into something very different.

There were his fingers, tracing the outline of his old scar in an unconscious apology that had long since been accepted. His other hand moved up and down his waist, a comforting caress.

"Would you like a massage?" Although Kaveh didn't feel Alhaitham's pheromones as keenly, he had learned to pick up the softest of scents to figure out Alhaitham's emotions even when he couldn't see them on his face. Now, he didn't need to pay that much attention to know that Alhaitham was leaving his scent all over him.

"I don't believe that massage one anymore," Kaveh scoffed, hands going to grab Alhaitham's neck.

He could feel Alhaitham's breath on his neck as he smiled.

"So you don't want to?"

Kaveh hummed as if in thought, though they both already knew his answer.

"I do."

-

The day Kaveh finished his thesis, he agreed that Alhaitham had earned the right to stop working so far from home.

-

Away from the eyes of the other graduates, Kaveh barely had time to remove the blindfold covering his eyes and let his brunette hair fall free around his shoulders that Tighnari was catching him in a tight embrace.

"Congratulations, Light of Kshahrewar!"

Alhaitham watched him from the side, happy to see that Kaveh was as radiant as he imagined him to be, glowing in the dim light of his office. Once again, his laughter was the most beautiful sound Alhaitham had ever heard.

Meanwhile, Cyno reached over to pat him on the back.

"Aren't you going to say anything about the identity forgery today, General Mahamatra?" Alhaitham asked with a sideways smile.

"Nahida said it was fine, what's the point if I Cy-no?"

Although Kaveh's laughter was cute, it was also adorable when he stopped abruptly after hearing a joke from Cyno. That's when it was his turn to laugh. Tighnari rolled his eyes, moving away when he saw Alhaitham's intention, and let him grab his partner's cheeks and kiss him. Kaveh turned red and he frowned at him in mock protest.

"Ugh," Tighnari complained, nudging Alhaitham. "For me, who's married to Cyno, to get sick of something, it's got to be too much already."

"Huh? What's wrong with me?" Cyno went to hug Tighnari, resting his chin on his shoulder to get a closer look.

"Nothing."

There was a silence in which Cyno gave Tighnari a suspicious look and then all four of them laughed.

"So you're moving out?" Tighnari asked them afterwards.

"Yes," Kaveh got excited again, taking Alhaitham's hand unconsciously. Alhaitham interlaced his fingers, letting himself get lost in the comfort of the familiar grip. "Thanks to Miss Lisa, who Cyno introduced us to, and another friend, we've already found a place to work. I hope you come to visit us, and if not I'll have my transport bring me here every now and then." He looked up mischievously at Alhaitham and the dragon snorted in response.

"I'll do it for the small price of a kiss."

"Don't you think it's enough that everyone saw the Great Scribe kiss the best graduate of Kshahrewar as soon as he grabbed the diploma?" Tighnari scoffed.

Alhaitham shrugged.

"I'd do it again."

Kaveh rolled his eyes.

"No, you won't."

Alhaitham nodded.

"Mn, I won't."

When the other three laughed, Alhaitham couldn't help a small smile as well. After all, he still held Kaveh's hand and would do anything to keep it that way.

-

Kaveh was in awe of everything in Fontaine since the Aquabus ride. There were so many bright colors and nature seemed to be calling him to sit under a tree and enjoy the breeze while he drew. Well, everything seemed so much more beautiful since he had stopped being king.

Gone were the days where he worked from morning until night overseeing projects, meeting with people, wearing himself out until he passed out before he got to bed. While studying could be exhausting, at least he had Alhaitham to get him to bed or distract him in other ways when necessary.

In the end, he preferred not to think about his time in the royal palace, or use the evidence that Sumeru was better off now than he was before he became king to calm his thoughts.

And when he just couldn't, when he woke up hyperventilating from a nightmare, there was Alhaitham to let him lay on his chest, hug him and give him little kisses.

Sometimes he thought he didn't deserve it no matter what, but if he thought so, neither did Alhaitham, so they might as well deserve each other.

"Do you like it?," asked Alhaitham in his ear, letting his arms fit around his waist and his weight rest on his back.

They were in the Vasari Passage. Everywhere they looked, towering buildings made in the style of Fontaine rose. Even though it was still afternoon, their shadows were already falling over them. Kaveh had been staring at the fountain in the middle of the square, lost in the reflection of the great sphere that was its main decoration, and only the brush of Alhaitham's breath on his ear brought him back with a shiver.

Kaveh turned in his arms to face him, hands tracing Alhaitham's waist.

"I thought we didn't want to draw attention to ourselves." For that matter, they even wore Fontaine's clothes. Alhaitham looked too handsome in a black vest with a green shirt underneath. "Now you want us to stay here for two hours and talk to you about every aspect of Fontaine's architecture?"

"Mhm, I'd listen," Alhaitham smiled that smile that was exclusively for Kaveh, leaning down to brush his lips and sending an electric shock where they touched.

Kaveh couldn't help but steal a kiss from him before breaking away once more, now glowing with happiness.

"After seeing my mother."

To get an idea, Kaveh had already stated that visiting the nation of justice after having faked his identity for years was hardly anything compared to how stressful it was to meet his mother for the first time since she had visited him at the royal palace. Alhaitham had visited Fontaine in person to assure her that Kaveh was well and letters had been sent, of course, but they were sparse in content when Kaveh could give no more information than necessary.

Now, he was about to start a new life in another nation and could only hope that his mother would support him.

They left the Court of Fontaine and were met with a landscape of greenery. Faranak was waiting for them taking cover in the shade of a tree, looking out over the waters that lined the path to the Statue of The Seven. Her blond hair was dull, her gaze lost, yet as soon as her gaze met Kaveh's, she came to, eyes bright with tears, and opened her arms to him.

Kaveh only hesitated a second before he slipped into them as if not a second had passed since what once was, even though she was shorter now and he could cover her completely in his embrace.

"My boy," she cooed to him, stroking his back with a trembling hand. "You are alright."

"Yes," Kaveh nodded, tightening his embrace, leaving the most chaste kiss on his mother's head.

Suddenly, it was as if all the fears he had been holding back regarding his mother's opinion came flooding out. She didn't hate him. He couldn't stop a tear or two from escaping his eyes.

"I'm so glad."

They stood like that for a few more seconds and then parted, both rubbing their eyes slyly, and Kaveh took the moment to let her greet Alhaitham, who was waiting for them to finish their moment with a poker face.

"Thank you for taking care of my son," said his mother, bowing in a short curtsy.

Alhaitham shook his head and looked at Kaveh as if he expected him to save him. Kaveh shrugged with a mischievous smile.

"No, it's Kaveh who takes care of me," Alhaitham then affirmed, not taking his eyes off him. "I don't know what I'd do without him."

Ah, his dragon knew just what to say to make him feel butterflies in his stomach.

Soon they sat down to eat at the picnic they had prepared and Kaveh was finally able to give him a brief rundown of everything that had happened since she left, leaving out the parts that might worry her because he was still a little bit of that guy. Just a little bit.

"And now we're moving out," Kaveh concluded. At some point, Alhaitham had put his hand on his thigh in a distracted caress to help him continue. "What do you think?"

His mother looked thoughtful, savoring the macaroni in her mouth, and then asked, "Don't you like Liyue?"

"Oh, I do," he said quickly, playing with a lock of brunette hair. "It's just that, you know, it's so close to Sumeru. And I feel like I'd be better off in a place with a relaxed atmosphere. I guess I'm a little biased because of my Vision? In any case, we'll give it a try."

His mother laughed and Kaveh realized he had over-explained himself, an apologetic smile on his lips.

"As long as you're happy, that's fine by me. I think you deserve it."

Happy.

His life had changed so much since he had been king. He studied and became an architect in his own right. He chose to live every day, no matter how difficult it was. Even if it wasn't in the same way as before, he had helped people. He realized that he didn't have to do it all alone. He took the hand that was extended to him without shame.

It was still a work in progress, but yes.

At that moment, he had no doubts.

He would be happy.

Chapter Text

"There you go."

Although his client's face had remained impassive during the exhibition, Kaveh's grin was the brightest now as the two of them (and the gatecrasher) stood in the center of the mansion's entrance hall. He had barely finished exhibiting his work and could tell he was proud of himself.

When he arrived in Mondstadt, he was surprised to find that most of the houses were in the same style, with barely a few things to differentiate them from one another. Fortunately, he didn't let that discourage him.

Already with knowledge of Sumeru and Liyue architecture, when he started working with the local masons and architect, he began to add his own artistic details here and there, slowly changing the landscape of the city. He was so well received that it wasn't long before he was getting commissions from people who wanted to remodel their homes or their shops and soon he had been able to set up his own firm.

Alhaitham had worried about the attention he drew when they didn't want his identity to be discovered, but the truth was that people from Sumeru generally didn't visit Mondstadt, and the people of Mondstadt had no reason to be suspicious of someone as nice as the architect Navid, who had graduated with honors from the Akademiya of Sumeru to boot. On the contrary, he was welcomed with open arms.

And so it was that he eventually received an interesting commission.

The young Master of the Dawn Winery asked him to renovate the vineyard mansion. Although Diluc had asked him for a few specific details, the rest of the things were up to Kaveh to let his creativity run wild, and with the Dawn Winery being one of Mondstadt's most striking landmarks as its main winery, Kaveh couldn't pass up the opportunity.

He worked day and night to see the project completed, researching wine preservation and all that was needed so that they were now there, in the (hopefully) best mansion the man could dream of.

Again, Kaeya was the first to react, clapping heartily with a smile, though, with his body turned slightly towards Diluc's, it was obvious he was glancing at him, as eager to see his reaction as Kaveh was.

"I already knew that, but I have to repeat that your reputation is no joke. You even managed to get Master Diluc to be surprised."

Kaveh blinked. Was he surprised? It seemed to him that he had the same face as always. Well, that used to happen to him too when people tried to read Alhaitham.

Diluc snorted, ignoring him.

"It's striking, indeed," he said to Kaveh, and it seemed to him that his frown relaxed a little. "It's everything I expected and more. I'm glad to see you were able to capture everything I asked for."

Even though he didn't say much, Kaveh had heard compliments here and there, and knowing how Diluc was, that already made the pride settle even stronger in his chest, making him feel like he could float. He liked it. He wondered if this was what it was like to feel accomplished.

Kaeya, for his part, raised his eyebrows, as if he had recognized something in the young red-haired master's last words.

"The truth is, it's all very nice. Ah, how I wish I had a house as nice as this one. I really should save up and ask you to make a place for me outside the Knights of Favonius Headquarters..." His gaze became more mischievous when he met Diluc's. "Unless Master Diluc wants to take me in. He has enough room here for all of us."

This time, Diluc kept his eyes on him and said in his deadpan voice:

"If you don't mind traveling to the city every day, I don't see why not."

In all the time he had known him, Kaveh had never seen the Cavalry Captain so out of his mind as he was at that moment. His face turned colorful and he finally seemed to have run out of words.

"Huh? Ah... Haha... What are you saying?"

Kaveh took that as his chance to get away. Enough of waiting for them to talk.

"Well, we'll talk more later. If you think of anything, don't forget to mention it to me," he said and ran off with his things.

As he was leaving, he thought he heard Kaeya all discomposed asking something like 'so those details of the old mansion were on purpose?', but he didn't stay to snoop.

What did catch his attention was the man waiting for him on the stairs leading up to the mansion, his beautiful teal eyes lost in the details of the building before the doors opened and they went to rest directly on the architect. Kaveh's beaming grin returned as soon as he saw his husband and the two of them closed the distance between them with long strides.

Alhaitham welcomed him into his arms with a long, sweet kiss. Only when they parted for air and he was not lost in the taste of the dragon's lips, Kaveh remembered what time it was.

"Shouldn't you be working?" He asked with a skeptical look, though he couldn't let go of the small smile.

Alhaitham made a soft sound as he ran his tongue over his lips, causing Kaveh to squint.

"I came to see my talented husband's finished work," he smiled sideways and seeing that Kaveh only snorted in amusement, continued casually, "Lisa disappeared, so I took the liberty of leaving early. She'll be back to close anyway."

Alhaitham was lucky that the knights were too afraid of him and Lisa, the head librarian, to tell on them if they were slacking off. He was fine as long as Jean, the Acting Grand Master, didn't find out on her own, and usually that didn't happen.

"You and Lisa are a match made in heaven, aren't you?" Kaveh shook his head.

The dragon shrugged and began to run his hand down Kaveh's back slowly, stopping casually on his backside.

"I'd rather be a match made in heaven with you."

Kaveh made a little noise as Alhaitham squeezed his backside and glared at him.

"You should work harder then!"

"Well, I'm working hard to put a baby in your belly, doesn't that count?"

Kaveh turned completely red.

"You-!!"

Alhaitham laughed, leaning down to give him a gentle nibble on the neck.

"Shall we go home?"

-

The idea had been around for a while now, yet they had wanted to make sure it wasn't just instincts, but that they were ready to love, care and do everything they could to make someone else happy. They didn't want to have a baby for the sake of having a baby, they wanted to share their home and their happiness with a little one (or more than one). So they had decided to try in earnest just a few weeks ago, when it was certain that Kaveh would finish the mansion project before a possible pregnancy could give him problems.

Even if Alhaitham said he was working hard, the truth remained that the times he could lay eggs in him were limited. From what they'd discovered, the dragons' mating season depended on their mate, and since Kaveh was a human, he only had scheduled ruts every year and a half to two years, though he could have sporadic ruts if his body recognized Kaveh's nearness and his hormones went on a rampage.

Still a while away from the next since his last long rut, they had sex expecting to find themselves in one of those moments when Alhaitham would suddenly come into rut and, although they had managed to provoke it a few times, no egg had stuck.

All that translated into Alhaitham being too excited to keep trying every chance he got and, truth be told, Kaveh wasn't complaining either.

It had been a few years since Alhaitham had used his dragon form from time to time for comfort, albeit in his smaller form, and, since they had traded his bed for a large mattress, Kaveh loved to fall asleep cuddled up against his big warm body after a few rounds.

That is how they were when Kaveh awoke that morning.

It was hot.

Very hot.

And there was something hard pressing against his butt.

Kaveh stirred as he awoke, opening his eyes lazily, only to find that the heat was coming from his mate.

Alhaitham was bent over so that his face was close to Kaveh's, and he could see how the dragon was still asleep. Not so his cocks, which had emerged from between the scales to rub against him.

A smile settled on Kaveh's lips and there was a part of him that reacted to the arousal pheromones, causing him to gently grind against one of the heads and let out a small sound of arousal.

Alhaitham awoke with a soft grunt. When he opened them, his eyes already had dilated pupils, covering almost all of the teal, and provoked Kaveh's urge to pull down his pants at once, but he held back.

"So excited in the morning? How old are you?," he asked jokingly.

Alhaitham gave him a look and Kaveh laughed.

"At least wait until we have breakfast."

Thus he freed himself from Alhaitham's tail which tried to keep him in place, ignoring the dragon's small protest, and it was only until he was in the kitchen grabbing some bread for a quick breakfast that he realized his husband hadn't followed him. He returned with a loaf of bread in his mouth and others in his hand, finding him still in his dragon form, trying to touch himself with his tail.

It was... interesting.

There was something about seeing Alhaitham so frustrated that always got Kaveh to heat up right away. He wouldn't even have needed the strong smell of pheromones that permeated the room enough for Kaveh to identify it.

"You're in rut," he said, climbing back on the bed after stuffing a loaf of bread into his mouth which Alhaitham reluctantly chewed.

His response was a sound that Kaveh interpreted as a 'yes,' though it might as well have been something like 'really now?' He found it funny that even after all that time, Alhaitham still refused to speak properly when in his dragon form. One had to admire his stubbornness, at least.

Kaveh finished eating his bread shamelessly watching Alhaitham's cocks, and could not ignore the other kind of hunger that settled inside him.

And that was that Alhaitham in his human form already had big cocks, but now, even only half hard, they were simply huge. More than once he had wondered what they would be like and now that he had them in front of him, he could only imagine how well he would take them tearing up his ass.

If on top of that he could have Alhaitham fucking him until some of his eggs stayed inside him... well.

His foot brushed against Alhaitham's half-hard cocks and they twitched, practically begging for more attention.

Kaveh regarded his mate with a mischievous gaze and Alhaitham huffed.

The dragon's pupils were wide, making his eyes dark with desire, yet he nervously shuffled his weight from one foot to the other, as if hesitant to indulge his desires when the truth was there was no need to be. His breath was hot against Kaveh's body as he moved closer and nuzzled his chest, making his body warm with a not-so-innocent kind of feeling.

Kaveh patted his head soothingly as he asked, "Can't turn back?"

Alhaitham shook his head slightly, almost sheepishly, and Kaveh pressed his chest closer to him, unable to help himself when his mate was this adorable.

He shouldn't be so turned on when close to a dragon in rut with two massive cocks aching to find a willing hole to fill. He shouldn't be so fucking aroused by the idea of letting Alhaitham fuck him like this and ruin him forever, yet he himself became wetter by the second. He could blame it on the lustful pheromones the dragon was currently forcing in his body, but honestly. He just loved Alhaitham so much he couldn’t help wanting him in every form he took.

And he probably had a size kink.

"You know? I've always wanted to do it like this," Kaveh purred, looking as Alhaitham used his raspy tongue to teasingly move past his blouse's neck, circling his nipple and sending shivers down his spine as it hardened. "I think I could take you now~"

Alhaitham grunted in pure arousal, and Kaveh knew he had gotten to him. He stood on his hind legs, still taller than Kaveh even though he was smaller than usual, and the human’s breath caught on his throat for a second. There was something about having the dragon like this, towering over him in all his beautiful scale-painted form glistening in the sun streaming through the window, that made Kaveh's eyes drop down to his large erections, marveling at the slimy fluid that was already beginning to ooze out of them. It was also making him very much want Alhaitham to use him as a cocksleeve until he could take no more.

Kaveh was so distracted that he didn't notice Alhaitham sneaking on him until his hand had grabbed him by the waist, claws gentle as they lifted him off the ground. Teal eyes were asking him for permission even as he was already pulling at the hem of his pants, tongue moving down Kaveh's exposed chest to his belly.

No way this guy still refused to talk and expected him to read his mind. He had to be grateful Kaveh knew him that well.

"It's okay." Kaveh's hole had been twitching with interest for a while now, and it reflected in his eyes shining with a desire mirroring the dragon's. The determination he had been guarding for so long was now a fire that craved to be filled with gallons of cum. "If it wasn't obvious enough, I want you like this." He reached out for Alhaitham's muzzle and pulled him closer to his face, baring his neck for him. "This time, make sure to breed me properly, will you?"

The growl of wanton need that came out of Alhaitham's mouth had Kaveh wanting to spread his legs open, bare himself to the dragon that he so much wanted. He had barely pulled his pants off halfway, which was already an accomplishment considering he couldn't reach the ground, that the dragon's muzzle found its way in between his legs.

Alhaitham's breath was hot and heavy on his most sensitive part, and his mind couldn't even fathom the idea of feeling fear because he could be eaten like this —fuck that, if Alhaitham wanted to eat him, Kaveh would have eagerly allowed it. No, instead, all he could feel was a raging fire begging to be taken raw.

"H-Haitham," Kaveh moaned lowly as Alhaitham's tongue darted out to taste his thighs. There was a soft nip that went from his thighs to his ass that had him biting down another desperate sound. He knew he should be asking for preparation, but he didn't want that now, his voice so weak and hoarse when he spoke again. "Don't- Just fuck me?"

Alhaitham ignored him, his forked tongue pressing against his wet rim, and Kaveh gripped onto his hand, holding his breath as he anticipated the best black kiss of his life. Alhaitham didn't thrust in right away though, teasingly stimulating the slick out, kissing his edge and moving up and down between his balls and cock.

Alhaitham must have been drowning in his aroma, which was turning musky with arousal, but he still ate him out as if he were the most delicious dessert in the world, sending shocks of pleasure through his body.

"Ah, fuck," Kaveh cried out as Alhaitham enveloped his cock expertly, making slick and precum ooze out of him. He was leaking so much, leaving a mess on his thighs and belly, all the while Alhaitham made it his mission to lick him clean every time.

Alhaitham's eyes met Kaveh's in one of those moments and the sight of his mate’s usually clean appearance now turned into a blushing, shivering mass of desire made him groan, sending exquisite vibrations right through his aching cock that was begging for release.

It was so hot inside him, his climax so close yet so far, that Kaveh welcomed it when Alhaitham's grip on his waist tightened and he began lapping at his cock like a huge desperately thirsty dog, like Kaveh was indeed everything he wanted now and ever. His mind simply went blank as he could do nothing but accept the way in which his mate was playing him.

He could barely move by himself, yet he struggled pathetically to roll his hips back into that tongue that was driving him closer to the edge with every flick and turn. Alhaitham stared at him, savoring every single moan he could take out of his mate, and finally, his cock was engulfed inside that wide mouth.

It was so very hot and wet, wrapping around his cock so good, that when that tongue came back to his throbbing cock, rolling around his horribly sensitive tip, Kaveh's eyes rolled back in his head. With his mouth agape as a guttural moan escaped him, his hips thrust up once more before he was shooting his load right inside Alhaitham's waiting warmth.

The waves of pleasure left his mind in shambles, unable to utter anything but soft whimpers as Alhaitham licked his cock clean throughout his orgasm, making sure to prolong his pleasure until it was almost painful. Almost, for he felt his cock aching for more the more attention he received.

Kaveh knew this wouldn't stop until he was completely bred and owned, yet the prospect did nothing to scare him. He wanted to feel everything, be broken beyond repair, and he wanted it from Alhaitham.

Then Alhaitham's mouth left his cock and he whined in complaint, the throbbing in his insides becoming worse the more his body started to recover. Everything was burning, and he had his mate right there to appease him. So Kaveh wasted no time hugging his legs against his chest, body shaking as he tried to spread his ass cheeks, present his entrance for the dragon to use. His eyes were blurry and the only thing keeping him up was Alhaitham's grip, but it was okay because he knew Alhaitham wouldn't let him go.

"Haitham," he cried, his husky voice betrayed the need, making him sound like a bitch in heat. "Please, please, fill me up. I need you inside me."

The air grew hotter as the dragon roared, eyes dark with a primal need that Kaveh was really eager to please.

More slick came out of Kaveh's ass as he figured he was finally going to get fucked by those massive cocks, filled until his belly bulged and his insides were dripping Alhaitham's cum. Kaveh was sure those cocks could even reach his womb. His body would allow it. And when Alhaitham's eggs went straight there, he would take them all and keep them safe inside his body like the good mate he was.

Alhaitham carried him to the mattress and carefully laid him there. Kaveh didn't even complain as his pants were torn in half and pulled off of his body, instead using the time to quickly undress himself of his damp blouse.

Now he was completely naked, vulnerable to the dragon's every whim, something that would have made him cower before now only had him eager to feel Alhaitham's cocks pushing deep inside him. He peaked at them, the greenish cocks looking even bigger now, dripping that delicious precum. Kaveh's mouth watered, so ready to be their relief it hurt.

Alhaitham bent him in half, holding his legs up with his hand around his waist, and Kaveh was already spreading them as best as he could, but instead of the expected girth, it was his tongue pressing against Kaveh's entrance.

Kaveh thrashed and squirmed under him when he realized he had been tricked. "Want your cock!," he complained pitifully. "No nice..." His words turned into a shaky moan as he felt the forked tongue roll up to slide inside him, stretching his wet insides with its length.

His walls instantly clenched around the intrusion, trying to keep it inside as his limbs fell loose. It filled him so well already. He always loved Alhaitham's long tongue thrusting down his throat, wrapped around his cock, pushing inside him, but now, with its massive size, it was like no place inside him was left untouched.

The tongue filled him to the brim and he realized then that he hated Alhaitham. He hated him so much for not letting him experience this utter feeling of fullness before, of being so completely tasted by another being.

With careful precision, Alhaitham started thrusting in and out of him slowly, making sure to explore every crevice, every inch. Kaveh's mouth fell slack too, drool pooling on his cheek. Reality was escaping him and Kaveh helplessly tried to hold onto this feeling that was pulling him down another climax, so he wrapped his shaky legs around Alhaitham's shoulders.

Tears rolled down his eyes as Kaveh tried to make sense of the pleasure that was overwhelming him, but he couldn't do anything when Alhaitham started purposefully grinding against his prostate.

"Haitham," he moaned, feeling his mind growing hazier by the second, pressure growing incredibly fast as he was brought barreling down the edge. He tightened his legs around Alhaitham's neck and that only seemed to urge him to go faster, to taste his inner walls with greater need. "I'm breaking, I'm--"

As if on purpose, Alhaitham hummed and his tongue dug deeper than ever before, reaching his womb as it touched every single right place. His belly bulged, accommodating the sheer size of Alhaitham's tongue like a velvet glove, and Kaveh's consciousness evaporated with his second orgasm, unable to hold back a single moan as his cum painted his chest white.

The world was disconnected for a second and he thought he was going to explode, every inch of his body alive with sensation yet so overwhelmed he couldn't process it all. Alhaitham's tongue started to leave his insides and Kaveh couldn't even try to keep it inside, only whining when he felt himself so unbearably empty again.

His body fell limp again and Kaveh could imagine the sight he was now, sprawled on the bed, eyes glassy with tears of utter arousal, blush spreading across his face, disheveled blond hair like a mane under him, chest rising with each pant, stained by the drops of his relief.

"Haithaam, so meaann," he whined through heavy breaths, reaching out for the dragon that was getting on the mattress beside him, holding onto his mate's snout. "That's no... breeding..."

Kaveh was so hard again and he couldn't help bathing Alhaitham with kisses, marveling when that tongue came out again to lick his face, savor his sweat and mark him with his saliva.

Alhaitham was bent over, so when Kaveh wrapped his legs around Alhaitham's body, his gaping asshole just grazed the tip of one of his cocks. He moaned at the feeling, grinding his hips against the tip and trying to push it within himself, but Alhaitham took the chance to push his tongue into his mouth, filling him more than anything ever before.

So good.

No good.

Really good.

He wanted to be fucked to an inch of his life, he couldn't let himself be distracted by his mate.

It took all his self-control to escape Alhaitham's tongue and gaze into those dark eyes with red lustful eyes. He pouted now, forcing his voice to sound sweet as he eagerly ground himself against the throbbing erection. Gods, he was so wet he was dripping over Alhaitham. "Please? Please, please, I'm good, please? Fuck me, fill me up with your seed?"

Alhaitham huffed, shooting more of that viscous precum right into his hole and Kaveh writhed in pleasure. Suddenly, he was being lifted like he was a ragged doll, and he let him, specially so when he saw he was being positioned right on top of the dragon’s massive cock.

If he thought he was full before, being impaled by Alhaitham's cock was just something else. Only the tip turned him into a mess of helpless whimpers and moans as his hole stretched impossibly to suck inside the thick girth that was already filling him with his precum. Fuck, he really wanted to take them both, but,

"Too big," he whimpered, failing to find his mate's eyes when his were unfocused, yet holding onto the hand lifting him up for dear life. "Mn- I'll die, Haitham..."

Alhaitham purred, snout nuzzling against Kaveh's face in a reassuring gesture.

"I can't have that." Alhaitham's voice against his ear was deep and husky, full of sinful intentions as it sent shivers down his spine, working like magic on Kaveh. He cried out when he loosened, taking more of that hot cock in his eager hole.

"See? You just need a bit of motivation and you're already like this," That fucker seriously had to break his vow of silence now? Sounding so self-satisfied too. Ah, but Kaveh loved being a whore for Alhaitham. "Shh, just like that."

Kaveh saw his belly bulge when that massive girth hit his womb, and he whimpered pathetically realizing it wasn't everything. He despised his body for not taking all of Alhaitham, trying so hard to use gravity and push him deeper inside.

Alhaitham chuckled lowly on top of him and the sound made more slick rush out of Kaveh, erasing his thoughts for an instant as his juices mixed with Alhaitham's inside him. "So eager for me, do you love my cock that much?"

At Kaveh's pout, Alhaitham's grip on his waist tightened and his cock twitched inside him, sending a sweet pulsation against his prostate that made him writhe. It distracted him enough that he was but compliant when Alhaitham started moving him up and down his length like he weighed nothing. "Don't you feel it?" There was more precum pouring right into his aching womb. "You're perfect already."

Kaveh could think of nothing but Alhaitham, the way he filled him perfectly, his piercing eyes fixed on him, the thick scent of arousal that permeated them. Alhaitham told him he was perfect. Alhaitham was finally fucking him. Yes, he could take that.

Alhaitham was also perfect for him, pushing inside him slowly, letting his juices lubricate him in the mind more as he adjusted to the sensation that was making his mind numb, submissive. Each spurt he poured filled his stomach so well, pushing him closer to the edge.

And so, Kaveh reflexively rolled his hips back into Alhaitham's huge length, mouth going slack as the dragon started to set the rhythm, fucking him increasingly faster until his dick was bouncing along, splashing precum all over his belly and onto Alhaitham's hand. The dragon didn't seem to mind, cock twitching exquisitely as he leaned over to clean some from his claws. Seeing that, Kaveh arched his chest, presenting it mindlessly with a whine.

"Mm, you taste so good," Alhaitham praised him with a smirk in his voice. The dragon complied, licking up from Kaveh's damp stomach to his chest, catching a hard nipple with his tongue and circling it, sucking it with his tongue. Kaveh mewled, his insides clenching around Alhaitham. He was falling so fast, unable to restrain himself. "I love it when you moan like that."

Kaveh felt a warmth spreading through his chest that had nothing to do with Alhaitham's skillful tongue and he made it his duty to please his mate too. He accelerated his hips, wriggling and shifting his ass to try to take more inside, which proved itself difficult. The dragon was already brushing his cervix, sending sparkles of pleasure all through his body.

Alhaitham realized what he was wanting to do and huffed in amusement. Tightening his grip, his claws dug lightly into his skin and caused Kaveh's walls to tighten around him. His prostate suffered from it, taking all the following thrusts straight there, and that was it.

Kaveh came with a scream, feeling his muscles unravel with each sweet contraction. Then Alhaitham grunted, thrusting hard before shooting his thick cum inside, and the human's mind snapped.

Each spurt was more than he could bear and he felt it spilling out of him, staining the space between them as Alhaitham continued to slowly penetrate him. His stomach expanded and deflated each time and Kaveh had to force himself not to go right there, holding on to the pleasure for dear life.

It hurt, it was so delicious, he wanted more.

Glancing up at him from his place on his chest, Alhaitham snorted in wonder, his breath hot and heavy against his abused shaft, so easily coaxing it back to life. "Can you take both now, love?"

It took Kaveh a moment to understand, shivering and writhing from Alhaitham's breath so close to his sensitive part, but when he did, he nodded frantically. He couldn't even imagine how good he would feel, how torn he would be if he took both Alhaitham's cocks inside. He needed to know.

Alhaitham hummed, rhythm slowing down, yet kept tasting his nipples, fangs brushing carefully against his skin.

Kaveh's mind complained. He couldn't get pregnant if Alhaitham didn't fuck him with both. He needed both, didn't want to come again any other way. He was pure instincts as he struggled weakly, swallowing his saliva, trying to find his voice. It came out completely broken when he mumbled, "Yesh... yeah... now please~? More?"

Alhaitham growled, the sound rumbling across their bodies, and raised Kaveh, his cock sliding away from him.

Kaveh couldn't think then, protesting all the while, his eyes watered as he saw the bulge leave his belly, the emptiness unbearable in his broken mind. "Nono no- Fuck- me? Haitham- Please-"

Alhaitham couldn't have his mate stressed out, could he? So he wasn't even all the way out when he was already fitting his second girth on Kaveh's entrance. Then, his next cry was interrupted by his body falling back onto Alhaitham's cocks, moan turning into a scream when he was filled more than ever before.

"There," Alhaitham's voice was soothing even if full of desire, breaking through the aching pleasure that was consuming Kaveh entirely. "Don't cry now, okay? I'll breed you well."

Ah, the tears in Kaveh's eyes at that point had nothing to do with stress. He welcomed Alhaitham's thrust like they were the only thing keeping him alive.

Kaveh's world narrowed to the girths impaling him, how good it felt to be completely filled with Alhaitham's cocks. He was rearranging his organs with his length and Kaveh was loving it. Alhaitham had him shuddering, drooling and moaning like a random skank.

It was so good, making him scream as he increased the pace, thrusting inside him as if he wanted to mark the shape of his cock inside him and leave his hole open so that only Alhaitham could fill him up good.

At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to stay like this all day, every day, unable to think of anything but how delicious it felt to be fucked hard by Alhaitham. Knowing they would have sex many more times like this moved him to force his body, pushing himself down so hard he felt like he was really going to break.

Because they had to do it again. Kaveh was simply addicted now. He wouldn't be able to live without this.

Alhaitham leaned over him and growled in his ear. Kaveh, recognizing the gesture, reached up to hold onto his snout and brush his lips against Alhaitham's scales.

The cocks inside Kaveh overflowed precum again and, had he looked down, he would have seen the delicious bulge it formed in his stomach, passing directly into his womb. Kaveh whimpered as Alhaitham squeezed his stomach, causing some of the fluid to spill back down his length.

"Shit, Kaveh," Alhaitham groaned against his mouth as if he could no longer restrain himself. The hand holding him on top of him was shaking and Kaveh enjoyed too much knowing how much he was affecting the dragon as well. "If I had known you would like being fucked this way this much, we would have done it sooner."

He could tell Alhaitham was close too, and with the overstimulation burning his brain, Kaveh was already crying out, jumping on his partner's monster cocks like a needy little whore who needed to be filled with cum to make him come.

So close, so painfully close, yet it burned so much he wasn’t really sure anymore.

It was then that Alhaitham stopped, lifting him easily off his erections, and Kaveh opened his eyes wide, desperate to moan a protest, only to feel himself fall back down again just like that.

The door Alhaitham had been banging on all this time opened and the rock-hard cocks filled him to the hilt, piercing his cervix in a single motion.

Kaveh screamed, coming at the same moment his uterus filled with Alhaitham's cum. His own length squirted in between them, forgotten, as Kaveh lost himself in the sensation of his stomach growing as if he were pregnant.

It felt so good that it made him overstimulate even more. The pain mixed with the arousal, creating a cocktail that kept him on the verge of passing out.

Alhaitham was panting on top of him, keeping him in place for what was to come, and his claws stroked his back as if comfortingly. "Almost there." The nuzzling caresses on his face had Kaveh purring, coaxing his mind to stay awake. "Hold on a little longer, sweetie, for me?"

Kaveh blinked away the tears and focused on those teal eyes that, even in their dragon form, expressed nothing but adoration for him. Alhaitham didn't even have to ask. His hole was already clenching, eager to take whatever he wanted to give him.

He wasn't prepared for the sensation of the egg passing through Alhaitham's cock, brushing against his prostate and making him shudder, only to end up sliding right into his milk-filled womb.

It hurt so good that he arched his back as best he could, unraveling into sounds that fell short of words. Only Alhaitham's voice in his ear telling him how good he was, how sweet his moans were, how good it felt to be inside him kept him awake to relish and watch his womb receive his partner's eggs, his throbbing cock disappearing far from sight under the growing bulge.

All that was left of Kaveh when Alhaitham pulled out of him with a pop was immense bliss and the terrible need to cum once more.

"Kaveh? Are you okay?" It seemed to him that Alhaitham called out to him, yet Kaveh didn't get to process anything but the lengths stained with cum and his own fluid.

He didn't know where he got the strength to crawl, still Alhaitham let him push him down on the bed and straddle his scaly belly with a look somewhere between amused and concerned. His mate’s tail wrapped around his torso and held him as he leaned down to rub his cock against Alhaitham's.

The friction sent electricity coursing down his back and if it weren't for Alhaitham's grip, he would have fallen over when he arched up.

"You're going to kill me," Alhaitham insisted with a growl, but made no move to stop him as Kaveh began to thrust against his shafts like a puppy in heat against any surface he could find, except it was against his mate who looked at him with desire and love.

At last, he saw stars and his body went limp like a doll's, the last of his cum joining the one staining Alhaitham's cocks. He kept moaning through the aftershocks of pleasure and when Alhaitham grabbed him around the waist and pulled him to his face so that they both lay on the wet mattress.

Kaveh was delighted to wrap his legs around Alhaitham's torso, drown himself in the familiar warmth of the dragon. His stomach bulged between them, yet it didn't bother him. He felt he could get used to it. Ah, he wanted so badly to do this until he was knocked up.

The feeling of Alhaitham nuzzling him like he was giving him little kisses was so sweet that tiredness soon came to him along with relief. Sleep began to claim him, causing his blinks to last longer and longer.

"Thank you, Kaveh." The voice barely made it through the mental haze of the aftermath, successfully relaxing his used body. "I love you."

The world faded away, but the smile on his lips remained for the rest of the afternoon.

Chapter Text

"Dad!"

Kaveh almost thought he had imagined it until he turned in the chair and found the silver-haired girl already crashing into him. Her embrace barely reached around his waist, but she almost knocked him off the chair in her excitement.

"Mahnaz?," Kaveh called, catching her in his arms and blinking as bright green eyes met confused crimson ones. "What are you doing here?"

Clearly, his daughter wasn't supposed to be at his work, so he unconsciously went looking for injuries, finding nothing. Well, Alhaitham had done a good job without losing any children for three years, especially considering Mahnaz's escapist tendencies...

"It's about time to close, Light of Kshahrewar," his mate's impassive voice came before Mahnaz could answer him.

Alhaitham leaned lightly against the doorframe, with Shadi in his arms and Arsheen on his shoulders. The little girl holding onto her daddy's hair was so happy to see her other daddy that she jumped off Alhaitham's shoulders and transformed into a cute golden-scaled dragon, going to get into the embrace as well.

Kaveh's face must have been something else, because a smirk escaped Alhaitham's lips as he let Shadi climb down to join them.

"It's daddy's birthday!," said Mahnaz, laughing freely, "We are going to...!"

"Mahnaz, no!," Arsheen clamped her paws over her mouth and Mahnaz frowned in frustration, puffing out her cheeks.

Kaveh couldn't help but feel a rush of sweetness for his babies and finally laughed, squeezing all three of them in his arms. He gave an ear-to-ear grin to Alhaitham, who leaned over to kiss him on the mouth, pretending to crush the little ones under his chest, and Kaveh knew he would have stayed that way forever if it weren't for his daughter's whining.

"Heavy daddy," Arsheen complained, back in her human form.

"Weren't you supposed to wait for me at home?," Kaveh asked amused.

For convenience and as a measure to keep Kaveh from overexerting himself, they had made an office for him to receive his clients and work on his projects there —although that didn't prevent him from taking some home, even if only in his mind—, and it was usual for him to stay a little longer. Now that he looked at the clock, it was already a few minutes past closing time, but just barely.

"Dad wanted to come," Mahnaz gave him away with a little smile.

"Mhm, Dad was so eager to see me?" He raised his eyebrows in the direction of Alhaitham, who shrugged his shoulders.

"What can I say, I always miss my husband."

When Alhaitham leaned down this time, the girls screamed and ran off Kaveh. Even Shadi slipped out of his place on his dad's lap, so Kaveh took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Alhaitham's neck and plant a few short, sweet kisses on his lips. Alhaitham lifted him out of the chair and Kaveh lost himself enough in his arms to be surprised and let out a little cry when the dragon's hand reached under his knees and lifted him up like a princess.

"Alhaitham!," Kaveh complained, clinging to his neck in spite of himself, "I was going to finish that blueprint..."

"Enough that we let you come to work on your birthday, right children?"

Arsheen and Mahnaz let out an enthusiastic 'yes!', while Shadi nodded his head with the same excitement.

"Finish tomorrow, what else are you your own boss for?"

Kaveh snorted. That wasn't how it worked... but Alhaitham was already dragging him out of his office carrying him in front of his colleagues, with the three kids in tow, so he had no choice but to accept it.

"Put me down already, I'll walk!

Alhaitham smirked and put him down.

Now that the children had reached their destination, they had forgotten how long it took them to get there and their previous tiredness disappeared, so they walked ahead happily playing on the way back while their parents followed holding hands.

"What have you prepared for me?," asked Kaveh, playfully bumping into his mate.

"All my love," replied Alhaitham without shame or change of tone.

Kaveh couldn't help a chuckle.

"I'm sure that's what Mahnaz meant."

"Of course."

"It can't be that because you always give me all your love," Kaveh shook his head in amusement.

Alhaitham squeezed his hand and crossed glances with him, smiling sweetly just for him and giving him butterflies in his stomach.

"Don't be impatient, my light."

"Hmm..."

He didn't get to complain because Shadi came towards them and held up his hands to be carried, which Alhaitham was happy to do with one arm so he could continue to hold Kaveh's hand with the other. That your mate was a dragon with supernatural strength was still proving useful when you had three babies to carry.

"Look, Dad! Look!" When they reached the house, Mahnaz and Arsheen were practically jumping with excitement, tugging at Kaveh's free arm.

The hallways he had designed himself were decorated with flowers still in their pots, creating a pathway to the kitchen. Kaveh followed the girls with a giant smile. It was his own birthday, but he couldn't help but marvel at how fast his children were growing up. It seemed like only yesterday when they spent hours playing with him —ah, that was probably yesterday.

No sooner had he taken a step inside the room than papers were thrown in his face and his eyes widened.

"Happy birthday, Navid!," greeted Tighnari with a big smile and Cyno with his usual poker face.

Kaveh jumped on his friends, enveloping them in a crushing embrace.

"You came! I missed you!"

It had been about a year and a half since they had seen each other in person, so Kaveh was delighted to have them there. Behind was a green-haired girl who smiled shyly at him.

"Collei, you look so tall," Kaveh greeted her from afar with a smile.

Collei was like his friends' adopted daughter. Kaveh had barely seen her a few times because she had arrived in Sumeru after he was already in Liyue, but that didn't stop him from caring for her as if she were his niece. He often sent her articles that he considered relevant to her studies and the girl thanked him with updates that Tighnari and Cyno didn't bother to mention.

"You hid it very well," Kaveh laughed, looking at his daughters, who were proud to see the happiness on their father's face.

"I didn't say anything," said Mahnaz, beating her chest. Then, as if she had just remembered, she tugged at her dad's clothes, pointing to the table. "Look, dad!"

The table was decorated with plates full of fruit on the sides and, in the center, a cake detailed in the shape of his house. Kaveh's heart was so easily filled.

That home he had designed when he was still pregnant. It had been based on an old drawing he had made of a home, with modifications of things he learned over the years. As much as he had made grander things, Kaveh was very proud of his home because it was something he had designed especially for the five of them, something that until a few years ago he never imagined he could ever have.

"We added the fruits because you like them," Arsheen said, looking at Kaveh expectantly.

Kaveh felt tears in his eyes, but he held them back, patting each one on the head.

"You did a good job, it's all very nice."

He turned to Shadi to thank him as well, and the blond-haired boy held out a sheet for him. What Kaveh saw was a drawing of their family in front of their house. The building was as beautiful as if he had sat down to analyze it and notice every detail to capture them in his drawing, while the people were just sticks on which you could tell who was who by the colors.

His heart couldn't take it when he saw his family trying so hard for him and he had to crush his three children in another embrace. Alhaitham stood nearby, expectant.

"I made the cake," he said, as if waiting for his turn for thanks.

Kaveh gave him a kiss on the cheek and Alhaitham frowned in protest.

"I'll thank you later," Kaveh joked mischievously.

"Hm," Alhaitham was satisfied then.

They had to split the cake because the kids were anxious after waiting for Kaveh all day and then the four friends sat around chatting while Collei went to see the kids, happy to be able to play with them.

"And Collei wanted to see the others, so we took advantage of Cyno's vacation and came," Tighnari finished the story of how they had gotten there. Things in Sumeru had only been getting better, from everything they had heard, so it was a relief to know that even General Mahamatra could take a vacation. "Anyway, tell us something yourselves."

"Arsheen has been learning the letters, Mahnaz is still as energetic as ever, doing whatever sparks her interest, and Shadi is drawing very good pictures," Alhaitham summed up the facts with a shrug.

"They're all so smart, they almost seem like our children," Kaveh elbowed Alhaitham, proudly. "Ah, I don't know if I want Shadi to be an architect when he grows up..."

"Are you not doing well at work?," Cyno asked curiously.

"No, no, the work is fine, I have even gotten a commission from Liyue recently and the people in Mondstadt are quite reasonable, but once in a while the clients are a bit... Well, I guess it's better than before. As long as you don't get consumed by work, you should be fine, but..."

"You know a lot about that, don't you?" Alhaitham smiled. "It didn't take you long to get back to work."

"Hmph, don't say it like you didn't turn me down getting a nanny to stay with the kids."

"I call them vacations."

"Alhaitham reads children's science books to the kids," Kaveh explained to his friends.

"I also read them stories for a change," Alhaitham defended himself impassively. "They like it."

Tighnari and Cyno exchanged glances and smiled.

"I see you're enjoying yourselves," Tighnari raised his eyebrows.

"I want to have children," said Cyno.

Tighnari: ...

"Let's talk about that later."

Kaveh couldn't help but laugh this time.

"In that case, I can give you a paternity test," said Alhaitham casually, glancing at the children, whom Collei was teaching to play a game where they basically had to figure out which hand held an object. Even Shadi had come over to play. "It turns out we could use some babysitters tonight and Collei seems to be getting along well with the kids."

"What do you mean, we need them?" Kaveh blinked in confusion.

"Hm. I want to take my husband somewhere."

-

Although they had never left the boys with a babysitter per se, Alhaitham used to take them to the library or to play outside, and with Mahnaz and Arsheen's personalities, it was inevitable that they would attract attention and they liked it. Shadi was less sociable, but his sisters always dragged him around, and after seeing him playing with Tighnari and Cyno, Kaveh felt a little calmer.

They had already eaten dinner and the children had gone back to playing when Alhaitham casually said, "Since it's your dad's birthday, I'm going to take him for a walk, hm? Remember what I told you earlier?" After the show of trying not to say it out loud, they nodded, "We'll come back after you go to sleep. Until then, you can play with your uncles."

The children received their goodnight kisses early and Kaveh walked out with Alhaitham as if nothing had happened, feeling a little proud and a little betrayed at how easy it had been.

"Why was it that we didn't leave them with a nanny?"

"Because I like to stay at home."

Kaveh snorted.

"Where are you taking me?," he asked as he stood in the doorway, watching Alhaitham walk a few feet away from him.

The dragon didn't answer him before disappearing in a cloud of steam and returning to let him climb on its back. Kaveh was already tired after having worked and returned to socialize with his friends and celebrate. However, his curiosity was always greater than his tiredness. If Alhaitham wanted to show him something, he wanted to see it.

When they were over what appeared to be the pass to Liyue, he hugged Alhaitham's back and his eyes drifted closed. In his mind, he echoed the dragon's scolding the last time he had fallen asleep flying with him, but he couldn't help it.

He knew Alhaitham would never let him fall.

"Kaveh," Alhaitham's voice came to him through his dreams.

He woke up stretching out and opened his eye to see Alhaitham curled over himself looking at him. Alhaitham's teal eyes in his dragon form always seemed to shine a bit on their own and drew his half-asleep ones to him. With a gesture, the dragon pointed to his back and Kaveh reflexively turned.

It was as if sleep completely left him as soon as he recognized the place where they were.

The large structure was striking in its own right, but, accompanied by the lamps that illuminated the flower-lined path to its doors, the intricate patterns that adorned it made it seem to glow in the night.

Once his prison, once his home, the palace of the prince of the tower stood imposing after all this time.

Kaveh slid off Alhaitham's back carelessly and the dragon had to hold him by the waist with his tail to keep him from falling.

"You..." Kaveh turned to Alhaitham just in time to see him transform back into a man and approach him, wrapping his arms around his waist as he always did.

"Shall we go in?," Alhaitham asked with a smirk curving his lips slightly.

Of course he had mentioned that he would like to come to the palace once a short while ago and Alhaitham had brought him in just like that. He didn't know why he was surprised. Kaveh shook his head in amusement, yet he took Alhaitham's hand and pulled him towards the palace.

Even the entrance already brought him so much nostalgia.

When he first arrived there, he would never have imagined that he would ever come back here of his own free will after being happy elsewhere, but he supposed that was the effect of Alhaitham. Apart from the fact that, as the official owner of the palace, he had seen to it that everything was as they had left it. Seeing everything as it was before filled his head with ideas and he finally came up with something.

"No," Kaveh turned to Alhaitham, excitement shaking his voice even though his gaze was accusing, "Don't you tell me you want me to remodel the palace?"

Alhaitham raised his eyebrows.

"Then I won't say anything."

Kaveh's heart was filled with love for this dragon who had taken possession of him without him being able to help it. He jumped at his neck, clinging to him.

"I. Can't. With. You." Between each word, he made an effort to leave him several kisses on his lips and face.

Alhaitham was delighted to take each one and put his hands on Kaveh's butt, moving down to his thighs to put his legs on the sides of his body and lift him up. They enjoyed having each other like this for a moment longer before Kaveh jokingly added, "It's going to be expensive, will you go back to work to pay for it with me~?"

Alhaitham grunted under his breath, not too pleased to be reminded of that. He began to walk with him in his arms, pretending to ignore the subject, but Kaveh held on tighter, tracing a path from his lips to his side. His breath hitched with a well-placed nibble on his earlobe.

"If it's to make my love happy, fine," he conceded, his voice slightly husky.

Kaveh hummed contentedly and started down his neck. The nap had done the trick, he no longer felt tired. Instead, he was eager for Alhaitham's touch. He felt he could do it at least once.

"Kaveh." Yes. He liked the way his name sounded when it was on Alhaitham's lips. As long as Alhaitham called him that, he didn't mind having another name for all the rest of the world. "Kaveh, look at this first."

Alhaitham pulled him to his feet and Kaveh reluctantly detached himself from his neck.

Looking around, he realized that they had arrived at the library. Nostalgia hit him again. That was where they used to spend most of their free time —and also where they had made love most excitedly, to fulfill the fantasy he had started with the said diary—. What caught his attention had nothing to do with that.

As soon as you entered the door, you could see a painting hanging on the back wall.

The colors were battered, dull, yet the drawing was still there, refusing to go away. A dark-haired man stood behind a chair. There was something in his gestures that reminded him of someone, perhaps how his gaze was lost on the woman sitting across from him. She was the center of the painting, looking forward with pride, but never arrogance, her light hair falling down the sides of her face, long past her waist. She wore a simple dress that ultimately only set off her natural beauty, those sharp features hiding a big heart.

Kaveh felt his own tighten in his chest, so full of emotion all of a sudden that he approached the painting without waiting for Alhaitham.

It's not like he hadn't tried to do paintings of his grandmother before, but this was different. She looked so young, and that man...

"Not long ago, I remembered something Grandmother told me before she passed away," Alhaitham began, stepping forward to stand beside him, letting their hands brush. "She implied that the person she loved was a human and that's why she used her human form. She also used to say that this palace was built by a nobleman for his beloved."

Oh.

As beautiful as it was, why would a dragon choose to take care of an unknown prince for an indeterminate amount of time just to have the palace as a reward?

"Then..."

Although Alhaitham's eyes glittered with emotions as he spoke, his voice remained steady.

"I did some research and found out that this castle belonged to a nobleman a few centuries ago. They said he rejected all conventions to be with his beloved. He was no more than forty years old when he died, and since the other nobles never recognized his wife, they threw her out of the palace and kept it for themselves. This painting was then taken out of the palace. They didn't mention it because it would have hurt their ego to do so, but I suspect she was the one who designed the palace in the first place."

Kaveh held Alhaitham's hand, turning to him at last.

"According to my calculations, that man should be my grandfather," he continued, returning the grip on Kaveh's hand. At last, those teal eyes fell on him again. "Who would have guessed? I was royalty too."

"We could have married without all the fuss," Kaveh joked with a small smile, trying to ease the soft ache in his chest. Of course, in practice it could never have been that easy. They had long since made peace with that.

"I still liked our wedding," Alhaitham played along, reaching up to touch their foreheads gently with closed eyes. "The bard was good."

"Hm," Kaveh agreed. He liked Venti a lot. "He cost us a lot of drinks, though."

They stood like that, finishing absorbing the story.

Once again, the nobles had proven that all they wanted was to do things their way, and whoever didn't fit in, they would either make them fit in or push them away. Kaveh knew that not everyone was like that. Some had helped reorganize the government after it was all over. In the end, though, he was happy that it was all over.

He now had a peaceful life.

He could do what he wanted, work at what he wanted, and he was loved by his friends and family.

That was all those who loved him had wanted for him and more.

Before his mind could wander, Alhaitham stroked his cheek. Kaveh unconsciously leaned in, still with his eyes closed, seeking his mouth, and Alhaitham consented. The soft touch of his lips, like the touch of a feather, was enough to convey his feelings.

"Is it really all right for me to remodel the palace?," he murmured against Alhaitham's breath.

Knowing this, he suddenly felt wrong to modify anything. He remembered how much his grandmother loved that place, the peace that enveloped her when she talked about it. Kaveh would tell her about all the things he would like to do and she would smile like a caress at a child.

Alhaitham's hands held his face and lifted it so that they came face to face. Ah, the sincerity with which he watched him, the adoration.

"Don't ask that. She taught you everything you knew, gifted you with her passion. She would be happy for you to be the one to continue her art."

He assumed he already knew the answer, because he had known her too, seen the pride in her eyes when he showed her his designs, but it was always nice to have someone else affirm it.

"Now..." Alhaitham leaned over his ear, whispering words that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. "Where were we?"

Embarrassment turned his cheeks red and his eyes moved to the portrait, as if he feared the woman was going to judge them. Sure enough, the painting remained motionless.

"Pervert," Kaveh growled.

How cute was the laugh of that idiot of a husband of his.

"Just once, then we go home."

"Hm."

After all, what was a peaceful life without people to share it with?

-

Once upon a time there was a prince and a dragon who were alone in the world until, one day, they met.

Two such different people should not have been able to get along. Rationality and sensibility were just waiting to collide. Although they became close at first and found love in each other, the prince became king and they ended up discovering that relationships were not as easy as they wanted them to be in the worst way.

The prince hated himself too much to see, the dragon loved him too much to understand why, and so their paths diverged.

Soul mates will meet again and again, and love pays no heed to doubts or conspiracies. So was it fate that allowed them to cling to each other? Always and forever, until they found the freedom they sought and, even then, decided that life was best lived between the two of them.

The prince was no longer a prince, yet his dragon was still his dragon, and he could have asked for nothing more. However, he learned to receive more. A job that fulfilled him, a home built by the two of them, and children they loved more than anything else in the world.

The suffering ended.

After so long, Kaveh and Alhaitham lived happily ever after.

The end.