Chapter Text
“Quit moving, stupid.”
“Really? On my wedding day, Casey Jones? I will throw off my suit jacket right now—”
“Raphael, don’t you dare, you know how long it took me to tailor that—”
“All right!” Leo clapped once, loudly. “Save the bickering.” Behind her, Mikey pulled his face into an over-exaggerated serious expression. “We have business to attend to.” Mikey mouthed along, before Leo’s head snapped around. “You’re on thin ice.”
“Geez, can’t a guy have any fun around here?” Mikey grumbled, dropping into one of the many chairs scattered around the room. Donnie patted his head consolingly.
“All done,” Casey announced, stepping back and putting his hands up. “You’re officially suited up, bro!”
Raph turned to look in the mirror. “I’ll admit, you did a pretty good job on the tux, Jones.”
“Duh, of course I did.” Casey rolled his eyes. “Casey Jones is great at everything.”
“Yeah, and who here found the red bow tie?” Donnie asked, raising his eyebrows.
“That’s not important.”
“Come on, Raph, I want to see your tux already, not just your fat head,” Mikey complained.
“Shut up, Mikey,” Raph retorted without any heat. He stepped out from behind the divider and spread his arms. “Well? How do I look?”
“Dude!” Mikey, who was hanging off of Leo’s chair now, started hitting his sister’s arm excitedly. “You look totally amazing! Like, super-duper-mega awesome! Right, Leo?”
“Looking sharp, brother.” Leo nodded in approval.
“Yeah, you look great, Raph,” Donnie agreed.
“Okay, place your bets: will Raph cry when Mona’s walking down the aisle or when she gets to him?” Mikey asked.
“Before he even sees her,” Casey cracked.
“Hardee-har-har. My sides are splitting.” Raph glared at them. “I’m not going to cry.”
“According to my calculations, that statement is one hundred percent false.”
“Donnie, keep it up and you’re going to get a plate of cake to the face.”
There was a knock on the door and then April poked her head through. “Mona’s still being fussed over, so give it just a few minutes and then everything’ll start.”
“Okay. Okay, cool. Awesome.” Raph swallowed. “Sure thing, April.”
“See you afterwards, Raph.” She smiled and closed the door. The room was quiet except for Raph’s heartbeat in his tympanum.
“Nervous, big guy?” Casey clapped his hand on Raph’s shoulder.
“Maybe. A little bit.”
“It is kind of weird that you’re getting married.” Casey sighed. “I guess I wasn’t really expecting you to be the first one to get hitched. It’s pretty cool, though.” He patted Raph’s shoulder. “You guys are, like, made for each other or whatever.”
“Gee, thanks, Casey. That’s real encouraging.”
“No, he’s totally right!” Mikey cut in. “She matches your energy all the time! And I’ve never seen someone calm you down so quickly except Chompy! It was love at first sight.” Raph swore he saw hearts appear in Mikey’s eyes. “So romantic.”
“I think the fact you two found each other in the first place is fascinating in and of itself.” Donnie rubbed their chin. “I mean, what are the odds, huh? We were the first Earth beings to go into deep space and just happened to crash into her ship, which just happened to land nearby to ours. The odds of that are astronomically small. I suppose if soulmates do exist—though, for the record, they don’t—you two are the closest thing I’ve ever seen to it.”
“I think what our dorky brothers and Casey are trying to say is that you two were meant to be together.” Leo smiled at Raph. “You love her, and she loves you, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. This is just the big fancy ceremony to prove that in front of a bunch of people who already know it.”
“Yeah! And then we get hammered at the party,” Casey added, earning him a whack on the knee with Leo’s cane. “Shit, dude!”
“Raph?” came April’s muffled voice from behind the door. “Are you ready?”
Raph took a deep breath and let it out. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
“See ya, Raph! You’re totally going to cry!” Mikey waved and bounded out the door before Raph could respond.
“I agree,” Donnie said, leaning down to give him a hug. “Shorty.”
“Tall-ass,” Raph huffed with a smile.
“Promise to do shots with me afterwards?” Casey raised his eyebrows.
“After everything is properly over, yeah.” Raph shoved him, then pulled him into a hug. “Thanks for making the tux, man.”
“Anything for my favorite turtle.” Casey patted him on the back and followed the two others out the door. That left Raph and Leo, standing in the room alone.
“I’m really proud of you, Raph.” Leo smiled again. “You’ve grown into such a good guy.” She stood up, leaning on her cane, and walked over to hug Raph. “The lair’s going to be a lot quieter without you.”
“Yeah, well.” Raph was not already choking back tears. “I’m growing up, Leo. A big boy needs his space, you know, and it’s only half a mile away.”
“I know.” Leo buried her face in Raph’s shoulder. “That doesn’t make it easier to see you go.”
“I’m not leaving you, Leo. I’ll still be around.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, bro.” Raph gave Leo one last squeeze before carefully letting go and allowing Leo to steady herself.
“I love you, Raph. And Sensei would be really happy for you.”
“Love you too, Leo. And I know.” Raph shook his hands and huffed again. “Man, I guess I’m more nervous than I thought.”
“Anzuru yori umu ga yasushi, Raph.”
“Huh?”
Leo sighed. “Just…don’t worry. Everything’ll work out.”
“Ninja’s honor?” Raph held out his third finger. Leo chuckled.
“Ninja’s honor.” They hooked their fingers together.
“Let’s go get you married.”
The groomsmen and bridesmaids went out first, so Raph had to stand in the room by himself for a little bit. His heart hadn’t raced this much since—wow, since the second dimensional-swap thing with Bebop and Rocksteady? Leo’s words echoed in his mind, and even though he had no idea what they meant, he held onto them.
It was a beautiful spring night. The budding trees swayed gently in the night breeze, scattering petals everywhere; birds sang their songs in the forest; the stars, so far from the city, shone strong. Warm lights were placed along the aisle, lighting up everyone but still allowing the stars to twinkle. As Raph walked, he saw so many familiar faces. Slash was beaming proudly; Leatherhead was already dabbing at the corners of his eyes with a tissue; Mondo was giving him a ‘hang loose’ sign, Ice Cream Kitty waving in his lap; Dr. Rockwell was giving him a nod; Kirby was smiling at him; Muckman sitting comfortably on the damp earth; Bishop, Pawn, Rook, and Queen all sitting together; the glowing forms of the Aeons; a mirror-looking device showing the Daagon and Queen Hiidrala all the way from Veruna; Sir Malakai, who was surrounded by a bunch of gently glowing fireflies; Mr. Murakami, who seemed to sense when Raph walked by; and the four Punk Frogs, who kept darting out their tongues to catch night insects. Mona’s mother inclined her head when Raph walked by and her father gave him a wink.
In the front row was a small altar that Leo had probably set up. A framed photo of Master Splinter, flanked by incense, candles, and several small pieces of cheese stood in place of a bench. Raph slowed a little when he passed it, just to look at Sensei’s smiling face a bit longer.
Raph’s three groomsmen (and Leo) took their places across from Mona’s four bridesmaids. Mikey looked particularly thrilled to be standing across from Renet, while Shinigami and Karai were next to each other, holding hands. April smiled at him as he passed her and he could feel how proud she was of him. Psychic powers were weird.
Sal Commander was standing at the very end of the aisle. He acknowledged Raph with an incline of his head. Raph bowed back.
“Honored guests!” Sal’s voice boomed across the meadow. “Under the eyes of those fallen in battle,” he held his arm up to the stars, “I present to you: the first half of the Hamato pair, Hamato Raphael.” He turned to look at Raph. “Raphael is one of the strongest warriors I have ever encountered. Not only has he saved this world countless times from unimaginable threats alongside his brothers, he has also saved me more times than I care to count.” Laughter spread through the crowd. “He is honorable, forgiving, and one of the greatest fighters this world has to offer. If anybody was to be worthy of Y’Gythgba, I am glad it was him.” Sal gave Raph a proud look that reminded him so painfully of Splinter. “May the Fallen watch over you during your lifetime, Hamato Raphael.”
“Thank you, sir,” Raph said, his voice a little rough. No, he was not tearing up again.
Sal extended his arm towards the other dressing room on the far side of the aisle. The door opened and Raph swore that time actually stopped.
Mona stepped out from the doorway. Golden armor covered her shoulders, sternum, ribcage, forearms, hips, and shins. Beneath the armor was a beautiful pink dress with a flowy skirt. She was carrying a small bouquet filled with a bunch of different flowers that Raph couldn’t name right now because wow she was beautiful. The warm lighting made her look like the real Mona Lisa, in Raph’s opinion. She was glowing. Something wet fell from his chin and he realized he was crying. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Donnie and Mikey exchange money, but he couldn’t even bring himself to care when the most beautiful woman in the entire galaxy was walking up to him right now.
“Hello, Raphael.” Mona smiled down at him. He tried to respond, but all that came out of his mouth was a wet sob. A few people in the audience went “aww” as Leo handed him a handkerchief. Raph furiously scrubbed his eyes and threw it back at his sister, then turned back to Mona.
“Sorry. Uh.” He cleared his throat. “You look…God, Mona, I don’t even have the words. You’re stunning, babe.”
“You look quite handsome yourself.” Mona leaned down a little farther and Raph’s heart almost jumped out of his mouth.
“Under the eyes of those fallen in battle, may I present to you: the second half of the Hamato pair, Hamato Y’Gythgba.” Sal sounded slightly exasperated and amused at the same time. Mona straightened up and clasped her hands together. “Y’Gythgba is an intelligent, agile, and incredibly strong warrior. Quick at adapting and excellent in battle, she remains one of my proudest achievements to this day.” Sal smiled, his eyes fond. “She has fought honorably by my side for our planet and against those who would harm the innocent. I am privileged to call her a comrade and felt her loss strongly when she chose to stay on Earth. She is truly honorable and a great soldier. May the Fallen watch over you during your lifetime, Y’Gythgba.”
“Thank you, Commander,” Mona whispered in a trembling voice.
“And now, it is time for the removing of the armor.” Sal raised his arms. “This represents stripping away the walls one puts up to protect oneself, for you should not be afraid to be your true self when you are with the one you love.”
Raph started with the forearm pieces, placing them on a cushion on the altar in front of them. “Mona,” he whispered. “I don’t think these were made to be taken off by three fingers.”
Mona giggled. “You are doing your best, Raphael.”
Raph removed the shoulder armor and the collarbone armor. More of the dress was revealed; it was flamingo pink, with long sleeves and a high collar.
The rib armor was next and Raph kept fumbling the latch. “Oh my God.” His finger slipped off again. “Babe. Babe, this is not working.”
“I can’t help you, darling. Rules are rules.” Mona blinked down innocently at him.
“You just like watching me suffer,” Raph accused.
“It might be a little funny.”
“Not all of us have skinny fingers.” The latch finally unhooked. “Hah!” It was very obvious Sal was holding back a laugh.
The skirt swished around Raph’s fingers as he undid the shin armor and placed it on the pillow. The whole dress was made of a very thin fabric that was also soft to the touch. There was a slit in the back for Mona’s tail to poke out of.
“Hey, Sal, I’m all done.” Raph rose back to his feet and slowly looked Mona over. God, she was just gorgeous, no matter what she was wearing.
“Bring in the ink bearer,” Sal boomed. Slash stood up and placed Chompy in the aisle. Chompy churred happily when he saw Raph and bounded towards him, not paying attention to the weird thing strapped on his shell.
“Hi, buddy! Have you been doing a good job waiting your turn?” Raph cooed. There was snickering and he turned to glare at the peanut gallery. “He’s been a very good boy!”
“Raphael, the ink.” Mona gently turned him back.
“Right. Sorry.” Sal unstrapped the tiny machine from Chompy’s shell, then placed him on the ground. Chompy immediately ran back to Slash, but only because he was holding out a piece of beef jerky.
“I will now bind you together using a traditional Salamandrian inking machine. Raphael, if you would step forwards.” Raph stepped up and held out his left hand. “The first finger represents the ground, and the second the sky. The third represents where the Fallen reside. By binding yourselves, you promise to remain together until you both reach that place.” Sal placed his hand under the device, which kind of looked like an Earth sewing machine. “Do you, Raphael, promise to fight beside, take care of, and honor Y’Gythgba until you join the Fallen?”
“I promise to fight beside, take care of, and honor Y’Gythgba until I join the Fallen,” Raph recited.
“Then, let it begin.” Sal switched on the machine and it started tattooing Raph’s third finger. It stung, but he was expecting it, and it was over fairly quick anyway. A dark four-point star stood out on his skin. Sal wrapped it in something that looked like saran wrap, then shooed him out of the way so Mona could take his place.
“The first finger represents the ground, and the second the sky. The third represents where the Fallen reside. By binding yourselves, you promise to remain together until you both reach that place. Do you, Y’Gythgba, promise to fight beside, take care of, and honor Raphael until you join the Fallen?”
“I promise to fight beside, take care of, and honor Raphael until I join the Fallen,” Mona responded, head held high. Soon, she had the same star on her finger. She didn’t flinch at all.
Raph and Mona both raised their left hands to the sky. “May the Fallen look fondly upon this bonding on this night!” Sal proclaimed. “Now, er, that is how Salamandrian weddings end, but I was informed of an Earth saying that ends weddings…what was it…you may kiss the bride?”
Mona picked Raph up under his armpits, he put his hands on her face, and they kissed for what seemed like a very long time. Raph could faintly hear his brothers hollering in approval, applause from the audience, and Karai yelling something (probably heckling them), but he couldn’t really understand any of it. All that mattered was his beautiful wife and wow, she tasted like strawberries, where did she get Earth lip gloss?
He blinked stupidly when they broke the kiss.
“Hello, husband,” Mona murmured, gently nuzzling his face.
“I am literally the luckiest turtle to ever exist,” Raph responded.