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One of the most annoying things about the real world is that everything requires money. Back in Barbieland, stuff just kind of appeared when Barbie needed it—before she even got as far as thinking about needing it, if she's honest—so while she figures out a way to earn money and build something called credit, she's living with Gloria's family.
--
"Hey, I need to talk to you," Gloria announces one evening with a serious expression on her face, and Barbie immediately experiences a sensation she's come to recognize as anxiety.
"Did I do something wrong?" Barbie asks, her nerves quickly dissipating as Gloria lays a reassuring hand on her arm.
"No, not at all, I just… remember your friend Midge?"
"Yeah; she was discontinued for being pregnant."
"Right," Gloria says gently, "but how did she get pregnant in the first place?"
Barbie shrugs. "I guess Mattel decided that Allan and Midge should have a baby."
"That's– OK, yeah, that probably is what happened, although they'd have to go through a… um, a slightly different process if they wanted to have a baby in the real world."
Barbie casts her mind back to the new puppy that Gloria's neighbors brought home the previous weekend. "Yeah, people adopt babies from shelters."
Gloria chuckles under her breath, her cheeks reddening almost imperceptibly, and Barbie feels fluttery and strange. "Baby animals—not baby humans. You know what? I'm going to explain this to you the way I explained it to Sasha: When two people want a baby, they press their bodies together and wish."
"OK, thanks for telling me!" Barbie chirps. "Is that it?"
"The thing is… sometimes the baby can happen without the wish." Off Barbie's befuddled gaze, Gloria closes her eyes for a second and seems to reset herself. "Listen, guys are going to want to do things with you, and you might want to do things with them too, and before you do anything, it's important to know what you're getting yourself into, you know? But you're also allowed to say no."
"I know," Barbie assures her lightly. "I used to do that to Ken every day."
Gloria's nod of approval makes her feel warm inside.
"Good, because women always have the right to say no, and guys always have to respect that. If they don't, you should kick them in the nuts."
Off Barbie's frown, Gloria bites her lip.
"Sorry, that's a word we use in the real world for a guy's, uh, private parts."
"His genitals," Barbie supplies helpfully.
"Exactly. And speaking of genitals…" Gloria trails off, then winces. "This conversation isn't going how I wanted it to."
"I could tell," Barbie admits, "but I'm enjoying it anyway."
When Gloria laughs, Barbie tingles all over.
--
So Gloria ends up lending Barbie a book that had been collecting dust on one of Sasha's shelves for the past few years, and although it's extremely detailed in a manner that's equal parts informative and horrifying, Barbie's ultimately left with more questions than answers. After mulling things over for a couple of days, she inquires apropos of nothing during family dinner, "Hey, what will make me want to have sex with someone?"
While Gloria's husband clears his throat forcefully enough to make her jump, Sasha chokes on her broccoli and bursts into a coughing fit.
"That's a good question," Gloria responds calmly, shooting a warning glance at the other members of her family, "but we should go talk about it in your room."
--
The guest room at Gloria's house is awesome—it was Sasha's nursery when she was a baby, and the sight of the pale pink walls with purple trim always puts Barbie at ease. As the two of them sit down on the bed, Barbie can't help admiring how the tendrils of Gloria's hair kiss the triangle of skin exposed by her shirt.
"So," Gloria says briskly, suddenly all business, "some common reasons to have sex with someone are that you're attracted to them or you love them or a combination of the two. There are other reasons, but those are probably the most, um… wholesome."
Barbie mulls this over for a moment. "How does attraction feel?"
"Well," Gloria begins pensively, "if it feels special when a person touches you or looks at you or does something completely ordinary, I would say that's a pretty good indicator of attraction. Just, you know, paying attention to stuff you normally wouldn't notice, that kind of thing."
Barbie's fascinated by skin—real human pores, and wrinkles, and the dimple in Gloria's cheek when she smiles—so she takes a second to admire the delicate lines that emerge between Gloria's eyebrows and then vanish as swiftly as they'd appeared, leaving her no option but to meet the other woman's pretty brown eyes.
"Is it kind of like a sparkle in your chest?"
"That's a good way to put it, actually." Gloria tilts her head and regards Barbie appraisingly. "Do you think maybe you have feelings for Ken after all?"
Barbie blinks. "What? No, I– ew. I'm not attracted to him, I…" As she trails off, her mind drifts to Sasha, to Gloria's husband's attempts to learn Spanish and the fact that he always kisses his wife goodbye before leaving for work in the morning. "I'm just trying to imagine feeling that way about someone," she finishes lamely, and Gloria squeezes her hand.
"I'm excited for you to experience it someday."
"Me too," Barbie responds as enthusiastically as she can, doing her best to ignore the pang in her chest where her heart must be.