Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Your name is Jake Harley, and you are wildly nervous.

It all started, of course, in year 10.

Your younger sibling, Jade, had just gotten old enough to finally join your school’s robotics team, and they encouraged you to join with them. In their words, you were ‘a sad, lonely loser who just watches movies after school and doesn’t have any friends!!!’. You corrected them, because you’re super charismatic and of course you have friends (hell, you’d spent your morning pestering Aradia about that shiny new skull she’d found!), but when Jade gets their mind set on something, which they had, they’re a persistent little bugger.

So you joined.

You actually found it quite fun, even if you’d joined a year late! You’d figured it’d all be nerd jargon and nonsense words that you wouldn’t get, but you really took a shining to it. You never really made any close friends, though. People tended to look at you strangely once you started talking about movies you liked, or you would blunder and say something that made someone upset in a way you didn’t even know a person could be upset. You had acquaintances, though, and you got on fantastically with the power tools!

You’re in year 11 now, which really isn’t that long of a commitment to the whole robot thing. At the start of the year you and Jade both decided to apply for your team’s drive team– Jade wanted to drive the robot (or really just be more involved with the team!) and you wanted to spend more time actually doing things, instead of wasting away in your room. You both got on, Jade as a technician and yourself as a human player. Jade was absolutely electrified.

Now, you’re standing at the human player station, waiting for the match to start, and you feel like you could just vomit. Out of nerves, mostly, but the pizza your coach got was also pretty terrible and that might be adding to it. You’ve honestly never actually really liked pizza. Good God, what if you're lactose intolerant?

…Back on track, though. You’ve got the heebie-jeebies because this match may decide your fate. If you win this match, you go to Championships. In Houston.

You look over to Jade, who’s sitting on the robot cart, and they grin at you, giving you a double thumbs up. You give them a shaky smile, double pistols, and a wink, and then you hear the match start.

You zero in on your alliance’s robots, and stay on the ball with getting game pieces to them on time. The whole match zooms by, filled with a desperate hope that your team is doing well, that the score that you don’t dare check weighs in your favour. You only allow yourself to look up once you get to endgame, and by gum it is close.

You wait, all in a dither, eyes stuck to the large projector screen up above the field.

The whole room is dead quiet.

The red alliance (that’s you, that’s you and you’re going to go to championships) wins and you nearly sob, or fall over, or maybe that pizza from earlier will finally make good on its promise and resurface. You don’t do any of that. Instead, you hug Jade as tight as you possibly can– they’re actually crying, and they hug you back just as tight– and then you and the rest of the drive team skedaddle back to the pit so you can get your stuff the hell out of here, go back to the hotel, and frigging sleep.

Dinner goes by in a flurry of excitement and you skip out on team bonding in favour of being on your lonesome, since today has been overwhelming, to put it gently. You conk out immediately after you get to your hotel room, and wake around four in the morning. Jade’s snoring in the bed next to yours.

You sit up, taking a breath. It’s dead quiet. You’d tried to watch a movie, but you fell asleep not even half an hour in. Jade must’ve set aside your laptop for you, the angel. Across from you is a floor to ceiling window overlooking the city.

You migrate to the floor, sitting with your knees to your chest. The city is… it’s bright. It makes you feel entirely small, and you don’t know if it's a good or a bad or a neutral feeling. It’s a feeling though, definitely, and it swells up in your chest.

It’s so quiet.

You wonder who else is awake in the hotel. You wonder who else is awake in the city. You wonder what your grandma is up to, or what your sister Jane or your brother June or your dad all the way in Washington are up to. Aradia’s probably asleep, but Tavros may be up.

You don’t particularly feel like talking to any of them.

Houston’s probably just as city-like, which is a profoundly stupid sentence, you think, even if it’s true and there’s something there in the parallels of places across the globe.

The city makes you feel like less of a person. You’re just… Jake. You’re a boy on a hotel room floor, curled up, lonely. Most of your friends are your siblings, and the two other people you know live thousands of kilometres away. You’re lucky they speak English and even put up with you, the bumbling fool that you are.

Maybe Houston will present you an opportunity to break out of being alone.

Chapter Text

March 19. AUSC, WIN Sports & Entertainment Centres, Wollongong, NSW.

– gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 3:09 AM CDT –
GG: dave dave dave!!!
GG: guess who is going to houston in april!!!
GG: due to me and my sibling’s awesome robotics skills :D!
TG: jade
TG: it is fuckass in the mosrning her
GG: oh, whoops!
GG: anyways i thought i should let you know!! <3
GG: ok good night dave!
TG: night jade
TG: looking foreds to seeng you
– turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 3:11 AM CDT –

April 2. NYNY, Columbia University Irving, New York, NY.

– tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 5:20 PM CDT –
TT: Dave.
TG: rose
TT: It would be pertinent for you to know that as per my sister’s extracurriculars I shall be joining her in Houston for a tournament in roughly two weeks.
TT: Which I believe Jade is doing as well, is she not?
TG: oh shit for real?
TG: jegus aight
TG: dirks interested in nerd stuff too maybe our sibling should form a loser club and barely avoid getting killed by a bleached clown
TG: sorry pennywise we just know too much about metal and
TG: what the fuck else is a robot made of
TG: hang on

– turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 5:22 PM CDT –
TG: hey jade what the fuck is a robot made of
GG: hi!
GG: normally metals like aluminum and copper in the wires and screws and nuts and bolts and rivets and other fasteners…electrical components and pneumatics, which is more metal and a surprising amount of plastic! and other building materials like wood, i don’t actually know what kind? and polycarbonates!
GG: why?
TG: got it
TG: no time to explain thanks jade
GG: ok!!
– turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 5:24 PM CDT –

TT: Before you finish your convoluted nonsensical reference, I did have a question for you.
TG: shoot
TT: I was wondering if you would want to arrange some sort of playdate with Jade and I.
TG: ok gross dont call it that i know youre saying it that way to piss me off
TT: I neither confirm nor deny your frankly baseless and rude accusation.
TG: but yeah we should hang
TG: shit im probably gonna go to the whole thing anyways since dirks for sure going and its not like i have anything else to do
TG: i mean other than get mad bitches and make sweet tunes but theres more to life than that any fool could tell you
TT: Fascinating.
TT: I’ll attempt to arrange something.
– tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 5:30 PM CDT –

April 8. PNCMP, Eastern Washington University, Cheney, WA.

– ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:37 PM CDT –
EB: guess who’s coming to houston soon!
EB: wow, it’s like a big reunion! except this will be the first time we all meet.
TG: oh my gog
TG: so all three of you are coming
TG: cool cool
EB: duh.
EB: hang on, i’m going to tell rose and jade.
– ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:38 PM CDT –

GG opened memo on board luke i am your father.

GG: aaa i’m so excited!!!
TT: Do either of you know which hotel you will be staying at?
GG: yeah! hilton embassy suites
GG: i’m rooming with jake though!
TT: Ah, alright.
TT: We will be in the same hotel, though.
EB: kind of only figured out that we’re going today, so i don’t know yet.
TT: June, if you are staying at the same hotel, would you be interested in rooming together? As to not be towed down by automaton gobbledegook.
EB: yeah, that sounds great!
TG: i would invite yall over but i doubt bro’d take to that well
TT: Well, instead we shall invite you over.
EB: oh, i’m going to kick your ass in mario kart.
TG: bet
TG: so its just yall right no one else is coming as a surprise guest
TG: i mean other than your siblings and presumably junes dad
EB: yeah! i mean, as far as i know.
EB: i’m pretty sure sollux does robotics too!
TG: k ill ask karkat

– turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:43 PM AST –
TG: babe
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
TG: ow jeezus no love for your dearest darlingest diamond
CG: SORRY. KANKRI JUST FINISHED ANOTHER FUCKING LECTURE ON NOT PICKING FIGHTS AT SCHOOL.
TG: other kids still being dicks huh
TG: sorry i came here w a question
TG: sent on a sacred quest by june himself
CG: WHAT?
TG: actually i kind of assigned myself this task but whatever you catch my drift
TG: youre friends with sollux right
CG: “FRIENDS” YEAH.
TG: man what the hell does that mean
TG: whatever anyways
TG: do you know if shes going to championships for robotics
TG: cuz like
TG: apparently june and jade and roses siblings all got into the big leagues
TG: better sign those contracts kids and smile big and wide for the camera
TG: daddies gonna make you a star
CG: NO, HE’S NOT.
CG: I JUST ASKED.
TG: sweet
TG: thanks kat
TG: and hey if you ever wanted to talk shit about those dudes at school im your guy
TG: <>
CG: <>
– turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 9:51 PM AST –

turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo.
TG: she doesnt
EB: oh, ok!
TT: Dave, for your information, it is likely that we will be staying in Houston past our siblings’ extracurricular obligations.
TT: As rude as it may sound it is quite improbable that our siblings will all make it to the final bracket.
TG: translation sweet hangout times ahoy
GG: dave you could show us around houston!!!
TG: not much of interest but bet
TG: its a date
GG: yay!!!
TT: I may look into some tourist attractions, as well. Seeing as Dave likely hasn’t toured his own hometown.
EB: man this is going to be so sweet!

April 18th. George Bush Intercontinental Airport, Houston, TX.

Your name is June Egbert, and you are waiting on the now-landed plane for your wheelchair. You’ve only flown once since starting to use it, and it’s been a massive pain to try and work with incompetent airlines. Your dad has helped a lot, though. And so has Jane.

Contrary to how it may seem you actually do fly quite often to visit Jade and Jake and Grandma, over in Australia. Now, you’re meeting your distant siblings somewhere else. It’s equally as hot here, though.

The airport staff lets you know that your chair is at the aircraft door, and you thank them and make your way over.

As you exit the airport terminal, you search desperately for a douchebag in aviator sunglasses. He finds you first.

“June!”

Dave waves frantically at you, holding a sign labeled ‘juneathan’ with a shitty drawing of you on it. He then jogs over to you, pushes the sign into your not-waiting hands, and shoves his hands in his pockets, restraining a smile that’s trying to push through like a stampede of bulls.

“Wow. Hi.”

You have no idea what to say.

“Sup.”

“Have Jade or Rose gotten here yet?”

“Jade came in a day ago, so I’m guessin you’re probably gonna meet up with them at the hotel. Rose is landing in like twenty minutes.”

“Sweet.” You look over at your dad and Jane. “Do you mind if we wait for my friend?”

Jane just shrugs at you, and your dad gives you a smile.

“We can wait for your friend, son.”

You grin, and steer yourself over towards a seating area, so that your family and friend can sit down.

“By the way, uh, Dave, this is my older sister, Jane, and that’s my dad. Jane, that’s Dave. He’s my cis friend.”

“Unfortunate,” Jane gives Dave a teasing smile and offers out his hand to shake. “I use she/he, by the way. I’m glad to actually meet one of my brother’s friends.”

Dave shrugs, slapping her hand in a weird sort-of sideways high-five instead of shaking it. “Dave. He/him. June talks about you both a lot. Like, in a good way, I mean, like. Mentioned the like. Baking stuff. And detectives and clowns. Didn’t mention how ho-”

“HAHA THANKS DAVE,” You say, cutting him off before it gets worse. Jane raises an eyebrow at you, but your dad just beams.

“Glad to know my son has few bad things to say about his family.”

“Well now I’m gonna start saying bad things about you,” you lament, and he just ruffles your hair.

While you wait, you and Dave start talking about video games you’ve both been playing, while Jane chats with her friend (maybe?) on his phone. She looks more frustrated than happy, though, when you do spare glances at her, so maybe it’s the other one? Whatever. Dad seems content to just sit there and observe.

Rose and presumably her older sibling show up after half an hour (along with the rest of their team, though they break away after her sibling talks quickly with an adult), and Rose looks absolutely pissed. Dave waves a second crudely made sign at Rose, this one labelled ‘annoying psychobabble’, and accompanied with a really jpegged image of what you think might be Sigmund Freud.

“Dave. June. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you both in person,” she says in a clipped tone, taking the sign from Dave when he offers it. “You will not believe the nightmare I went through in security. They’d randomly marked me for search in the airport, and they even gave me a full-body pat down– Never again shall we travel by plane, Roxy, I insist next time upon a horse drawn carriage if not an entourage of limousines, I believe our dear mother must have the money to spare. I’m more than ready to go to the hotel and simply rest. June, we are still rooming together, correct?”

“Uh, duh. Hello to you too, by the way,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“Man, you are just as verbose in person,” Dave complains.

“You are probably the most dismal welcoming party I have ever had. And I’ve waited in the New York airport in the middle of the night for my drunk mother who ended up being nearly two hours late.”

(Despite this remark, the most minimal hint of a smile lingers on Rose’s face.)

Chapter Text

The Houston Airport is suffocatingly hot. As much as you appreciate your brother, by god do you wish his friend would hurry up so that you could get going. June and his friend– Dave– are chatting away about some video game, while your dad regards him (him being June) fondly.

You are messaging Callie’s obstinate headmate.

– undyingUmbrage [uu] started jeering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 9:08 PM CDT –

uu: HEY. EGBERT BITCH.
uu: WHY ARE YOu NOT IN WASHINGTON.
uu: MY SIBLINGS NOTE SAYS THAT YOu ARE IN ‘HOuSTON’ FOR A ‘ROBOTICS COMPETITION’.
uu: THAT IS STuPID. YOu ARE STuPID.
uu: I HAD TO DO TODAY’S VICE PRESIDENT DuTIES IN STuDENT COuNCIL. FuCK YOu.
uu: FuCK MY IDIOT SIBLING FOR NOT BEING AROuND EARLIER.
uu: STuDENT COuNCIL IS STuPID.
uu: WHY THE FuCK SHOuLD I EVEN PRETEND TO BE CALLIOPE.
GG: Hello to you too.
GG: Don’t you have your own friends to bother? I just got off of the plane.
uu: HE IS BuSY. ‘DEALING WITH HIS BRO.’
uu: IDIOT.
GG: You do realise that calling me names is not very conducive to a good conversation, correct? If you were bored you could have just asked me how my flight was, or something similarly polite and non-offensive.
GG: Though I suppose that’s a foreign idea to someone like you. :B
uu: SHuT. uP.
GG: Sigh.

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] stopped bothering undyingUmbrage [uu] at 10:56 PM CDT –

You look up from your phone, ignoring Caliborn’s continued attempts to bother you, and see a pair of people with brightly coloured hair headed in your direction. June and Dave both greet the younger one, the one with purple hair, and she seems to be very talkative. The taller person is on his phone.

June looks over at you. “Oh! Jane, this is Rose! One of my other friends. And um- Rose, who’s your older sibling?”

“Roxy?” Rose looks over towards her sibling. “Would you care to introduce yourself?”

“Oh! Right! Roxy Lalonde, atchyur service. You both are sooo cute! Rosie talks about you both aaaaaall the time,” she grins. “Oh! I use he/she/nya! Right! Still a girl though.”

Rose sighs, exasperated. “Jane, right?”

“Oh! Yes, that’s me.”

“You use he/she, correct? Currently a junior in high school? You’re on your school’s robotics team, which is why you and June are here?”

“Um. That’s correct!” This kid is a fucking terror.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Break a leg this weekend.” She smiles at you, then turns towards Dave and June again. “Shall we get going, then?”

The ride to the hotel is too long. When you do finally get to your room, you find that the teammate you’re sharing it with has set up all his stuff but left to, presumably, hang out with his friends. You figure you’ll just play some candy crush.

– uranianUmbra [UU] started cheering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:11 PM CDT –

UU: hello jane dear! ^u^
UU: i mUst apologise for caliborn’s behavioUr earlier. how was yoUr flight?
GG: Callie! Hello.
GG: My flight was good, if not unbearably long. The consarned flight staff took quite a while getting June’s wheelchair out of storage.
GG: I got a window seat, though! :B
GG: It always surprises me how much open land there is in the US.
GG: But forget that. How was your friday? If you experienced much of it at all.
UU: ah.
UU: well, i was the one who woke Up this morning, thoUgh after oUr first class caliborn fronted for the rest of the day! Up Until now, that is.
UU: he vandalised one of my posters. i do not know why she finds it so entertaining! it’s really jUst qUite Upsetting.
GG: Oh, goodness.
GG: Callie, you know I adore you, but I just cannot stand that headmate of yours!
GG: I’m glad you’re my friend, though.
UU: ^u^!
GG: You know, June’s friends are quite interesting. I told you that he was meeting some of his online friends here, right?
UU: yoU did!
GG: They’re just the strangest fellows. I’ve never heard anyone talk quite as much as they do, aside from Jake.
GG: One knew a frankly scary amount about me and that other one just could not stop talking.
GG: One of them had an older sister, though, with pink curly hair and just this absolutely charming smile. Goodness gracious.
GG: I hope I get to see nya again tomorrow.
GG: She had such a strange manner of speaking, Callie.
UU: gosh, i jUst wish i coUld be there with yoU! experiencing all these exciting things..
GG: Hopefully you can come to one of our competitions soon!
UU: hopefUlly, yes!
UU: well, i’ll let yoU sleep. it’s an hour later there, right?
GG: That it is! I probably won’t be sleeping for a little bit, but either way I’ll talk to you later.
UU: good night, jane!
UU: <3

– uranianUmbra [UU] stopped cheering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:25 CDT –

Callie’s a good friend, you think. You set down your phone and fiddle with the television a bit, finding a detective noir show, then get a snack out of your bag and settle in. You’re disrupted by a knock on your door, though.

“Yes?”

“Janey! Is that you?”

“Jake!”

You rush to the door, opening it. There stands your sibling.

“Goodness, I’d forgotten to let you know I’d gotten here! Come in, I’m just watching some TV.”

You and Jake settle to sit on your bed. She grins at you.

“How have you been, Jane? You look absolutely glowing.”

“I’m good! How are you? How’s Jade? And Grandma?”

“I’m just absolutely ace. Jade is too, frig, I’ve never seen them quite so excited. They’re with June and their friend Rose now, I think. And Grandma’s good, she’s still down under. Says the flight would make him all sick.”

“Oh, goodness, well, I hope they’re doing well at home.”

“Oh, I’m sure she is. She’s got Bec and Halley to watch over him!”

“I suppose. How was your flight over?”

“Oh it was just peachy. Jade and I played some competitive video games– they beat me, of course, I’m not much for games, and then I watched some of the flicks they had in flight. That Avatar only gets better the more you watch it, I tell you. There’s so much ocean, Jane, so much. One of our poor teammates, Nick, I think, threw up halfway through, the poor chum.”

“Oh! And Jade and I took a wander around Houston just yesterday with their pal Dave, goodness he’s a riot.”

“Dave? I think I met him this evening, actually, with June at the airport? I thought he was strange.”

“That’s a way to put it,” Jake laughs. “You know, I might just be seeing things but I think he may be taking a liking to our younger sibling.”

“June?”

“Jade! Gosh, he was a mess around them. Poor kid.”

You consider this for a moment, eyes straying to the TV where there’s a dramatic shot of some spiffed up detective at a bar. Classic.

“How are things back in Washington, though?” Jake looks over at you, and you hum.

“They’re good. June’s been doing some theatre things, and I’ve been doing student council and such. Dad was out of a job for a little bit, but there’s always places hiring accountants, so we were ok. Callum’s doing good, too. I don’t know if you remember Callum? That one kid with the white hair in second grade?”

“Oh! Yes, I faintly recall him.”

“Mhm. Cal’s good.” Of course, Jake doesn’t know that Cal’s two people, but that’s really not your place to divulge.

You and Jake spend maybe an hour just talking, you about life back home and Jake about whatever terrible movies fae watched on the flight over, before Jake departs for his room. Your roommate gets back a little after she leaves, and you discuss arrangements, shower, and then settle down to sleep. You’ve got a long day tomorrow.

Chapter Text

GG opened memo on board luke i am your father.

GG: helloooooooooo?
GG: is anyone up?
TG: hey jade
GG: its so weird being in the same timezone!
GG: good weird though!
GG: :D
EB: hi!
EB: let me get rose on.
TT: Hello.
GG: yay!!!
GG: wow i feel like we almost never chat all together! we should do this more often!
GG: anyways! i actually had something to tell you guys.
TG: sup
GG: ok ok um
GG: oh boy this is hard to do!
GG: so… you know how jake uses he/she/fae?
GG: um im pretty sure june already knows this! but
GG: im non-binary!!! :D
GG: so i use they/them. and id prefer being called a person or a kid or whatever over a girl or a boy!
GG: thats all :)
TT: Thank you for telling us. Do you use a different name, too? Or shall you remain your lively green?
GG: well i dont really think i could let go of this text colour easily! its just so pretty
GG: but yeah i still use jade!
EB: awesome! i kind of already knew but i’m so glad you told us.
EB: you know i’ve got your back with this kind of stuff.
TG: yeah man
TG: shit is man good do i gotta refresh the vocab
TG: like uh
TG: jesus christ a lot of these are man terms
TG: i guess fuckin uh
TG: is dude fine thats the closest youre probably getting to no gender
GG: hehe anythings fine, mr cool guy!
TG: aight sick
TT: If it shall aid in any way, Jade, I too am transgender, though I have not divulged this with anyone except June.
TT: Let me know if you’d like any aid in exploring your identity, though I’m not sure how much I can help. Much of my identity skews feminine.
GG: aw thank you rose!!
GG: i will let you know :D
TG: damn i really have been reduced to token cis
TG: two nonbinary people a trans girl and a cis guy walk into a bar and they all say ow jesus fucking christ
EB: a tragic fate. maybe one day you’ll join us in gender fuckery.
GG: one of us! one of us!
TG: yeah well see about that
TG: but for real i guess im like
TG: glad yall trust me with this i know dudes (gendered) can be jackasses just let me know if i ever fall to jackassery
TT: You know we will.
TG: haha sweet
TG: hows the hotel btw
TT: I’ve found it lovely. June and I are sharing a room. There’s a bible in the nightstand, and we’ve taken turns misinterpreting it.
EB: there’s this page where jesus actually just curses some tree because it didn’t have any fruit.
EB: which is really funny. i don’t even know how it’s supposed to be interpreted.
TG: fuck trees
TG: who needs them
TG: jesus whatever the hell bc
GG: D:
GG: how could jesus say that!!!
TG: lmao
TG: oh jade btw youre gonna have to explain the shit out of this robot stuff to me
TG: dunno about june and rose though those two have probably been to these
TG: dirks tried to but man that guy is just saying shit i swear to fuckin god
TG: i normally just tune him out when he says anything longer than a sentence to be honest
GG: ok!
EB: jane’s explained some of it, it’s kind of like... sports? like if sports were played by robots.
EB: and if sports was weird and convoluted.
EB: but in a different way than sports actually are.
EB: i think?
TT: I would be happy to explain it to you.
TG: oh fuck no
TG: lalondian tangents are just as bad as dirkian ones man i dont need that shit
TG: i dont get sports either
GG: dont worry dave ill explain it to you!!! <3
GG: tomorrow, though! im soooo tired :(
TG: thanks jade
TG: youre the best
TT: Hm.
TT: Before you go, Jade, should we try and arrange some sort of hang-out? Perhaps a sleepover?
TT: I’m making good on my promise of inviting Dave over.
GG: oh that would be sooooo fun!!!
GG: does tomorrow work? i know we’ll all probably be really tired or at least i will but just in case!!!
GG: i probably have a drive team meeting so ill be a little bit late if we start our sleepover early
TG: tomorrow works for me
TG: bros away on some fuckin trip right now he always leaves during dirks competitions
TG: im free as shit for the next week or so
GG: yay ok!
EB: i mean it’s not like i have anything planned.
EB: our room, right?
TT: I believe that would likely be the best choice.
TT: I assume each of our older siblings team’s will be having dinner together, so we can rendezvous afterwards?
TG: sounds good
TT: Splendid.
EB: oh, actually, would you guys want to get coffee tomorrow?
EB: or like, shitty pastries and overly sweetened slightly caffienated bullshit.
EB: what ever.
EB: i figured since there’s normally practice matches in the morning it might be a good idea?
EB: jade i can grab you something too.
TT: That sounds perfect, June. I would love to.
TG: sure why not
TG: aint got shit to do anyways
EB: awesome!
EB: i hope you know a good coffee place, dave!
TG: man you think i drink coffee
TG: im so offended right now
TG: but yeah theres like a starbucks a little walk away from the robot shit
GG: ill text you what i want then!!
GG: gosh its just so good to be able to see all of you in person!!!
GG: i love you guys!!!
GG: im gonna go to bed now but ill see you all in the morning!!!
GG: face to face :D!!!
gardenGnostic [GG] stopped responding to memo.
TG: afjghdjkbnkj
TT: ...
TG: oh fuck you

Chapter Text

The alarm on your phone goes off at 6 am and you groan, snoozing it. It goes off again ten minutes later, and you begrudgingly sit up, the sun shining through the massive window next to your bed.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and it is wayyyy too fucking early for this.

You sit in your bed for maybe five minutes just getting your bearings. You’re in Houston. Rose is rooming with her friend, you’re rooming with one of your friends from your robotics team (though honestly you don’t really know them that well.) You met a really cute girl last night.

Oh my god, he was soooo cute.

Get it together, Roxy!

You get out of bed and do whatever it is someone like you does in the morning (shower, get dressed, the works) then grab an energy drink from the bag you packed. Your roommate is in the shower now, so you sit around on your phone waiting for them.

– tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering uranianUmbra [UU] at 6:24 AM CDT –

TG: hey i kno its like sooo super early for you but i jst wanted 2 say hii!!!
TG: didnt talk much last nite bcuz i was 2 busy being so supper cool
TG: (vry vry jetlagged :( )
TG: anyways
TG: i tolds u i would send u the link 2 the stream of the game and i will!! just remind me ;3
TG: k byeee
TG: love u callie!

– tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering uranianUmbra [UU] at 6:25 AM CDT –

– tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering uranianUmbra [UU at 6:29 AM CDT –

TG: o yea TOTES forgots
TG: u wouldnt believe it callie i met this super cute girl at the airport yesterday
TG: i think shes here for robotics too can u believe it
TG: hot babes in yr area want 2 do robotics
TG: ok bye for realsies now
TG: <3!!

– tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering uranianUmbra [UU] at 6:31 AM CDT –

You spend the next few minutes just scrolling on Tumblr while your roommate gets ready to go, then the two of you head down to the breakfast buffet area to meet up with your team. It is seriously busy, and you only barely manage to even get a waffle. This is gonna kill your stomach.

Rose told you she was going to sleep in late and get food with her friends, so you don’t need to worry about her. You chat a bit with some of the people on your team, do a quick check over the code (which you definitely didn’t forget to do last night), then you’re on your way.

Thank god you weren’t on pit set up yesterday night. You probably would have keeled over.

Here are the most notable parts of your day.

In the morning you go to join your drive team in queue to help out with driver station, which is acting all buggy. You fix it up for them and just hang around the queue line, because pits is all busy and stressful right now.

Some British kid in queue with his team, after a lot of prodding from who you think is her little sibling, walks over to you.

“I like your hair,” fae says, simply, in his funny little accent.

“Awe, thank you so much! I like your accent, though you probs get that wayyyy too much,” You laugh a bit awkwardly. Jesus christ, Roxy.

“Oh! No, I actually haven’t gotten any kindred comments! Thank you!” He grins at you. “I’m Jake.”

“Roxy! I use he/she/nya. Totes a girl though.”

“I use he/she/fae,” Jake offers up, grinning at you.

The queue moves.

“Ah, blast, I better get going. I’ll see you around, miss Roxy?”

“See ya, Jake!”

Later, while walking around pits, you see his pit (though it’s devoid of any people– you guess they’re playing a match?) and the massive Australian flag hung up in it and you feel a little embarrassed that you thought she was British.

You spend a lot of time in the stands just watching matches, but for the most part you hang out in pits to do systems checks and small changes to code and to talk to anyone who’s interested in the programming aspect of your team, which is a lot of people.

You’d like to think you’re kind of a big deal.

Jane comes by just before lunch, wearing her team’s t-shirt (it’s light blue, with a spatula-wielding robot on the front of it) and a red flannel around his waist.

“It was Roxy, right?”

“Yeah! Hi.”

“Hello.”

You two stand around awkwardly for a moment.

“I like your pit,” she says.

“Oh, thank you! I didn’t get a chance to look at yours yet, sorry.”

“Oh it’s ok! I wouldn’t’ve noticed anyways, I’m not on my teams pit crew. Actually they kind of kicked out all of drive team. It’s funny.”

“You’re on drive team?”

“Yeah! I’m drive coach.” She shows you the button on her shirt, and you feel even more embarrassed.

“Right right!! Sorry, that was.. yeah.”

“You’re fine,” Jane smiles at you (oh my god) and you grin back.

“Oh! Uh- did you have any questions? Sorry, I got way too distracted by you.” Great, there goes your brain to mouth filter.

Jane blushes just incrementally. “Well… I guess what do you do on your team?”

You explain, in greater detail than you have been prior, about your role on the team and the programming on your robot. Jane listens attentively, and a few times you think you catch her just zoning out while looking at you. You don’t know if she’s bored or if you’re just that attractive. You’d like to think it’s the latter.

Jane tells you that you’re impressive, and you feel your face burn.

The rest of your day is spent flitting about pits, queue, and stands in a similar fashion to the morning. You message Sollux until she goes to sleep around lunch (he really should be going to bed sooner, but you’re just as bad) and Callie pretty persistently throughout the day, up until Caliborn starts fronting. Then you put your phone on silent.

Your team eats dinner at a mexican place a block or so away from the hotel, and you swear it’s the best food you’ve ever had. When you return to the hotel, you decide to go to the pool.

There’s a few people there already– mostly robotics kids, but there’s one small family, too, with their kids playing in the shallow end. You think you recognise a low ponytail over in the hot tub.

“Jake?”

“Oh! Hello Roxy!” Jake’s sitting alone in the hot tub, and it looks like you’ve interrupted some sort of internal monologue.

“Mmmmind if i sit witcha?” You ask, and he nods, so you sit across from him. “You seemed pretty deep in thought! What’s up?”

“Ah, I was just puzzling over this guy I met in the pits earlier. Really odd fellow! He said something about automaton whatnots and playing god. Didn’t even introduce himself beforehand! I offered him a pin and he took one, then he introduced himself before leaving all swift-like. Said his name was Dirk.”

“Ohh, that’s weird.”

“It really is! Gosh.”

The two of you sit quietly for a moment. You finally go through the day in your head, and you assume Jake is still puzzling over Dirk.

Your thoughts land on Jane. Should you have tried to get her discord or phone number or something like that? You really would like to keep in touch with her– even if you aren’t great at talking with him (cute girls will do that to a person.) Maybe you’ll track her down tomorrow and ask.

You’ve of course talked Callie’s ear off about this, to which she just said some mystical bullshit. It mostly boiled down to ‘talk to her.’

After a few minutes, Jake speaks up. “You’re on the New York team, right?”

“Oh! Yep! One of them at least.”

“Your drive team was great to work with.”

“Aw, I’ll let them know!” You give him a thumbs up.

Man.

“Soooooo Jake. Outside robot stuff, what kinda things are you interested in?”

“Well! Let’s see. I love movies. I don't think I could rightly pick a favourite, but I do quite like Avatar and Tomb Raider! I'm rather partial to Indiana Jones too. Jade says that my movie taste is just plumb awful but I say bollocks to that.”

“Oh, and I love skulls. My good pal Aradia lives out in the sticks and she’ll send me some of the skulls dead finds. And guns! My grandma has a gun licence and I sure don't but she's taught me and Jade a little bit about gun safety and I sure wish I'll get to use one one day. I love my grandma. And Jade has a garden that I help with sometimes but I'm really only good at growing pumpkins, Jade does all the rest of the work. I can make a really good pumpkin soup, though.”

You're starting to think that Jake English is a little bit of a freak.

“Ah. I've prattled on too much, have I? Sorry.”

He looks like a kicked puppy. You're going to be this guy's friend, you decide.

“No no you’re good!!” You beam at her. “My mom does some weird science stuff. Maybe I can yoink a skull from her weirdo lab for ya!”

“Oh, that would be just aces!”

“Yeah of course!”

“But enough about me, Roxy, what about you? You've barely said a word about yourself!”

“Oh! Um… well. My mom does like… writing stuff. She's pretty well known? Rhea Lalonde? And I like cats, I play some video games, I like coding things, even outside robotics! I guess I want to make video games when I'm older? Or work with like… genetics stuff! That's pretty much it,” you shrug. “Me and my little sister have two cats. Frigglish and Jaspers.”

“Do you have any pictures of them?”

“Yea! Lemm- oh right.” Your phone is in your room. “Uhh. Do you have discord?”

“Oh! Yes- I.. Hm. Would you like to come to my room?”

“Woah, Jake, buy a girl dinner first!”

“NOT LIKE THAT! Golly- I just meant to get my phone! Sorry!”

You laugh, definitely a little bit at faer expense.

Chapter Text

You decide that you hate walking, you hate downtown Houston, and most of all, you hate Texas, just in general.

You're sitting in a Starbucks while June and Dave stand in line, squabbling about something, and it is so fucking hot for 9 am. You refuse to take off your sweater, though, just on principle.

Houston isn't even a cultural centre of anything, so you can't imagine why on Earth the robotics competition would choose here to host the Championships. Even if their headquarters are here. You'd take almost anything over fucking Houston.

Dave and June make their way over with food and drinks.

“Houston is terrible,” You state, plainly, and Dave makes a face.

“Man, don't go dragging Houston like that. You live in New York.”

“And I would much prefer being there right now. How do you live in this city consumed by the sun? I think I would perish.”

“You'd really rather be with your mom and not with us?” June tilts his head. From almost anyone else, you could consider this a particularly directed dig. From June, though…

“An unfortunately fair point,” You concede.

Dave hands you your tea and lemon loaf, and you converse as you eat about the merits of speed running versus full game completion. You decide on top of your hatred of Houston that Dave is completely moronic and does not appreciate video games in their entirety.

At least you both agree that it's fun to break shit when you can.

Both Dave and Jade got some sugary abomination coffees, and June got something woefully drab. Jade’s is starting to melt, though. You figure you should probably get to the game venue.

“Shall we get going, then? I don't wish to keep Jade waiting.”

“Sure,” Dave stands, finishing off his cake pop and tossing the stick in the trash. June stands up too, and the three of you leave.

You know, of course, that cities are busy places. The few times your mother has taken you to New York whilst she does book signings or whatever have more than shown you that. It still astounds you just how busy a city can be. It's almost (definitely) overwhelming to be around so many people.

It's also really, really loud. Rush hour traffic, people talking, even construction noises.

Dave offers you the headphones he has slung around his neck.

“What do you want to listen to?”

“What?”

“Houston's loud as fuck, and you're in need of Dave's sweet noise cancelling headphone service. What do you wanna listen to?”

You sigh bitterly. “Nothing you listen to. I wouldn't want to soil your spotify library.”

“Dude, it's fine. Lemme get some lofi for you.”

You're immensely grateful, but expressing such is far outside your reach of ‘emotions Rose Lalonde can and will express,’ so you simply accept his offer. He gives you a thumbs up.

You're accompanied by a steady stream of Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to all the way to the venue. June finds a seat next to Jane, and you give Dave back his headphones after you figure out where the quiet room is.

You all sit in the stands together, and Jade joins you after half an hour.

You sit forward with your elbows on your knees and your hands propping yourself up. “So. Jade. Explain this robot nonsense.”

“Ok! So every year we build a robot to follow the game challenge that we’re given. The games are two and a half minutes long with an autonomous period at the start of the game and a teleoperated period for the rest of it! Auto just runs off of premade code, and teleop is driver controlled!”

“The game challenge is different every year, but it tends to follow a similar format. There's a way to score points during the main period, and then an endgame challenge that normally involves climbing or balancing or something. This year points are scored by putting the cubes and cones on the grid area that you see- it kind of looks like stairs! And then you balance on that clear structure there!”

“Last year there was a goal in the middle of the field that you had to shoot balls into, and then climb on tiered bars in the endgame. Honestly, I think last years’ was more fun to watch. Did that all make sense?”

“Yeah, kinda. So it's like sports,” Dave observes.

“I guess, yeah!” Jade grins, finishing off their coffee and picking up their sandwich. “June, you used to do robotics, right?”

“What? Oh, yeah, for like… half a year. No offence but I found it really boring. I'm doing theatre stuff now!”

“That's ok! And Rose you do speech and debate?”

“I skew more towards the speech portion, yes.”

Jade turns to Dave next in their endless line of interrogations. “Do you do anything, Dave? I feel like you do but I can't remember.”

“I mean, I'm part of photography club? It's kinda lame though. I dunno. Ain't nerd enough for any actual extracurricular shit like y'all.”

“That's not lame! I didn't know you did photography!!”

“Me neither,” you add. “I would love to see them, if you are willing to share such an intimate part of yourself.”

“Man, Rose, why the hell do you have to phrase shit like that?”

“I hardly know what you mean.”

“I guess, just… gimme a sec.”

Dave pulls out his phone and presumably fishes through his camera roll, though he holds his phone at just the right angle that none of you can see his screen. You file this away in your ‘interesting behaviours that Dave displays which are possible signs of psychological issues’ folder.

He eventually finds some things, though. He shows you a few ironic selfies (they all look like shit, or like something a teenage girl would post on instagram in its early days), photos of the city skyline, and a few shots of crows. June makes fun of some of the selfies, and Dave ribs him right back.

“Dunno. They're all kinda mediocre.”

“They look really cool though!!!” Jade huffs. “You should post this kind of stuff!”

“Uh. Maybe.”

You also file away the fact that Dave is currently seriously embarrassed.

Jade leaves after a few more minutes once they get a notification on their phone, and you, June, and Dave continue talking, watching the matches together. You spend the rest of the day like this, occasionally wandering around the venue, before you all split off for dinner. You head back up to your room afterwards, June accompanying you, though both Dave and Jade are still preoccupied. You decide to check your pesterchum.

– grimAuxiliatrix [GA] started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 7:21 PM CDT –

GA: I Presume You Are Still Preoccupied With Your Sister’s Robotics Competition However I Thought It Important To Let You Know That That Wizard Comic You Had Recommended To Me In Jest Was Actually Quite Good
GA: I Assume You Have Read It As Well It Seems To Have Left A Minor Imprint On Some Of Your Mannerisms
GA: If Not That Is A Rather Strange Coincidence
TT: Hi Kanaya.
GA: Oh
GA: Hello
TT: I'm glad you liked the comic. If I'm being completely honest, despite my opinions on its writing I do find the main character rather charming.
TT: How are you?
GA: I’m Alright
GA: Porrim Is Home From College For The Weekend
GA: So My Day Has Been Somewhat Busy
GA: How Are You
TT: I'm quite well, actually. My friends should be here in a little bit, and then we are to partake in that well revered art of “the Slumber Party.”
TT: June, quit reading over my shoulder.

“Aw, man.”

GA: Oh Is June There
GA: Tell Him I Say Hello

June makes grabby hands for your phone and you quite reluctantly hand it over. He types for a minute, then gives it back to you.

TT: hi kanaya!
TT: i took rose's phone for a second.
TT: she's going to get mad at me if i have it any longer so just saying hey!
GA: Hello June
TT: He says hi back.
TT: Sorry about that, by the way.
GA: It's Perfectly Alright
TT: How are your sewing projects going?

You chat with Kanaya for the better part of an hour, then regrettably have to stop talking to her once Jade and Dave knock on your door. You say goodnight, and she says it back, and you would never admit it but there's a little bit of a sickly feeling in your heart that flutters up at that.

Dave quells that, though.

“Were you talking to your giiiiiiiirlfriend?” He grins, like a cheshire cat, and drapes himself across June’s bed, tucking his hands under his chin.

“I don’t have a ‘girlfriend’, Dave,” you sigh in exasperation. “You and Jade are late.”

“Was busy doing cool shit.”

“He walked into a potted plant, and spent maybe twenty minutes cleaning it up,” Jade calls from the other side of the room.

“‘Cool shit,’ indeed.” you roll your eyes.

“Ok ok ok!! Were we gonna play Mario Kart or not? Because I finally got it set up, so we should play.” June pats the switch dock, crossing their arms.

“Hell fuckin yeah,” Dave readjusts himself to sit against the headboard, and Jade sits next to him.

“June, it appears you have been exiled to my side of the room.”

“Awe, fuck.” He walks over and sits next to you, handing each of you a joycon. “I call player one, by the way, and we’re so doing Hyrule Circuit. I guess each of us can pick one course?”

“Sounds good!! I call playing Toad!” Jade responds, and you all go to pick your karts and characters.

You pick out Rosalina, with the bone rattler chassis, monster wheels and plane glider. Dave and June squabble over who gets to play Link until they both settle on playing as Mario and Luigi. June uses the master cycle, triforce tires and hylian kite, Dave the cat cruiser, cushion wheels, and waddle wings. Jade, of course, picks Toad, with the flame rider, off-road tires, and flower glider.

June does in fact pick Hyrule Circuit first, and you stick to second for most of the game until Jade, who’s in first, gets blue-shelled and you claim your rightful place in the third loop.

June and Dave, in their usual fashion, spend the entire time squabbling over… 6th or 5th place. They honestly kind of suck.

“It’s just cuz Dirk and I have cooler things to do,” Dave claims after the match is over.

“Dave wouldn’t get the fuck out of the way!” June complains.

“Skill issue.”

“June, I’d like to do Bowser’s Castle next?” You cut off any more complaints, and everyone looks at you like you’re insane. Ideal.

“I guess??” He picks the course.

Everyone goes dead silent as you all focus really hard on not getting blown the fuck up. Jade gets stuck in third, you hold onto first, and June and Dave barely manage to stay above 10th.

You win, of course. You win almost every match you play, save for the few times Jade does beat you. They’re typically on the courses Jade themself picks.

“Rose. What the fuck.” Dave gives you a look, and you just shrug.

“I live with Roxy Lalonde,” you say, because that does answer his question if you know anything about Roxy.

“I think I’m sick of losing,” June says, getting up to shut off the switch. He then goes back to sit with you. “And I’m tired. Do you guys want to watch a movie or something?”

“Lorax,” Dave says immediately. “Lorax.”

“We are not watching The Lorax,” You roll your eyes.

“Oooh!! I can finally make you guys watch Con Air, or Armageddon, or Contact or–”

You end up watching the Lorax, though the definition of ‘watching’ is rather murky. June falls asleep after forty minutes, and Jade even earlier, leaning on Dave, which you assume probably negates any information processing powers he even has in that brain of his. You are quite honestly probably the only person who actually watches the movie in its entirety, but maybe that’s ok.

You guys do decide to do this again tomorrow, though.

Chapter Text

Your name is Dirk Strider and by fucking god do you need to piss.

You are currently loitering outside of the women’s bathroom, fiddling with one of your snake bites, and have been for some time now, because as much as you could probably pass as a girl (you’re not even wearing your binder today), you still do not want to be seen in there and taken as a girl.

You’ve used the men’s bathroom one singular time, when it was completely deserted, and while you were locked in your stall someone came in and your heart nearly fell out into the toilet bowl. That’d be pretty fucking gross to clean up, you figure.

But back to the point. You have no idea if there’s anyone in the women’s bathroom, and you really would rather not risk it. So you’re waiting a very rational amount of time, thank you, to make sure no one is in there.

And now, someone is approaching you. Holy shit, he’s shorter than you.

“What are you doing?”

Before you stands a girl with short black hair and her hands on his hips.

“Waiting to use the bathroom.” You sort of just… gesture at the door.

“Oh, is it that busy?”

“Nah.”

“Huh.” She seems to think for a moment. “Then why are you waiting?”

Man, why the fuck is he interrogating you? Some hidden agenda? You consider the situation carefully.

“I don’t like hearing people piss, or hearing other people piss. Shit’s downright nasty.”

“I… see.”

Ok, yeah, probably a terrible excuse. You sigh, because you’re just way too stressed to deal with this like you normally would.

“It’s not actually that. I just don’t want anyone seeing me going into the girl’s bathroom. Since I’m a dude, and all that shit. Trans. I’m not some kind of fucking creep who gets off on being in women’s bathrooms. I don’t even like women.”

Jesus Christ, Dirk, get it together.

“Oh! Do you want me to scout it out for you, then?”

“For fucking real?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

You could probably name a million reasons. Instead, you say:

“Yeah alright.”

You stand against the wall as she goes in and peaks around. He even, at one point, pretends to hold up a magnifying glass, which you gape at, just a little bit. Then she walks back out.

“All clear! I’ll let you go first, on account of the… Your… original reason.”

You give her a thumbs up, then do your thing.

What, were you expecting some detailed description? A slew of prose describing the precise angle at which your piss hit the bowl? That’s fucked up, man.

You step out of the bathroom, give your unnamed saviour a silent nod, then get the hell out of there.

Your pit shift starts pretty soon, so you figure you’ll go check on Dave quickly beforehand, then get shit done.

You find him in the stands. Obviously.

“Hey, little man.”

“Dude. I’m like, a year younger than you.”

“Dave. You have no idea the pain and suffering that being seventeen years old inflicts on a man. You’re still in your youth. Fucking enjoy it.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“You and your friends gone into the pits yet?”

“Nah, just been watching shit out here. Why?”

“Just curious. You know you can leave if you’re bored? Go play some Mad Snacks Yo or something. Seriously, you don’t have to stick around.”

“Yeah, I know. Staying around for Jade, mostly.”

“I see.” You ruffle his hair a little bit, which knocks his carefully placed beanie off kilter, and he gives you a Look behind his shades. “Gotta go. I think the team’s getting pizza today, look forwards to that.”

“Seeya.”

He does seem to be doing okay, so you leave him to his friends, and head into your pit.

After two and a half hours of systems checks, hanging around, answering questions, talking to judges, and making ‘oh shit stay calm and focus’ fixes to the robot, you’re off shift. You decide to explore the half of the pits that you hadn’t explored yet.

You make a point to avoid the guy from yesterday.

As you wander, you look over the different design choices teams made– there’s the ones that follow the same winning formula, of course, and on those you only inspect the smaller things, but some have more out of the box designs.

Like that team from yesterday. Which the guy was on.

You didn’t even get his name.

Their design was actually pretty interesting– you’re pretty sure you saw them at Champs in your freshman year, too, though you weren’t as proficient at this shit as you are now.

Ok, wait, that looks like the girl from earlier. You should probably go talk to her. Maybe say thank you.

Who the fuck are you kidding, no way.

He approaches you, though, so you guess you don’t actually have a choice.

“Hello!”

“Sup. Uh. Thanks for earlier.”

“Really, it’s alright! I’m Jane. Jane Egbert. She/He.” She sticks out his hand for you to shake, giving you an encouraging smile.

You awkwardly do some sort of sideways high five, and keep your face neutral while doing it.

“Dirk Strider. He.”

“You’re wandering around pits too, right? We didn't have a match for a little bit, and I got bored in the stands.”

She says the stands, you notice, deviating from just fucking saying stands, which is pretty weird to you. They’re locations. Stands. Pits. Field. Jane’s either a stickler for grammar or just weird. It’s pretty funny, actually.

“Yeah. You’re drive coach?”

“I am! You’re the pit lead, right? I saw you answering questions earlier.”

“Yeah.”

“The pit always seems so frantic. I’m glad I don’t have to do that. Drive team is frantic too, but in a different way.”

“You ever been on pit?”

“Oh, heavens, no. I’m a business lead outside of driving. I do things like sponsorships, I’m not really a building person.”

“Alright, yeah.”

There’s sort of an awkward silence, and you feel a bit bad. Jane genuinely seems really cool, but you carry conversation so much better online. He’s putting his all into this and you can’t keep up.

“Could I get your discord?” Jane asks, after a moment. “Sorry, I’m just– If I’m being honest I don’t really have a lot of friends on my team. I think I scare them a bit, I guess I seem a little cold, or something? I guess I just want to be able to talk to other people who do robotics, without having the weird… divide.”

Oh, shit. Yeah. You’re gonna be her friend, somehow. Dirk Strider’s going to make friends.

“Yeah, man. Let me punch it in for you.”

That’s the last eventful thing of the day, other than Dave choking on his pizza. You drive him to the hotel for his sleepover shit, then drive yourself back home. You put on the half finished episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion from yesterday, then open up your discord.

Someone named gutsyGumshoe sent you a friend request, so you glance over their bio.

Jane Egbert
She/He
“No man burdens his mind with small matters unless he has some very good reason for doing so.”

Doyle, Arthur Conan. A Study in Scarlet. Penguin Books, 2011.

Jane fucking cited a quote in her bio. Holy shit.

You accept it, though, and send her a message.

Jane types a little longer than she has been. Shit. Fuck.

Oh, alright. Cool.

Against your better judgement, you say:

Alright. Let's do this shit.

Ok, that’s pretty fuckin weird.

You’ve received a dm.

Oh, shit.

Chapter Text

Ok, so the dude from yesterday’s name was Jake. That’s good to know. And someone– maybe Jane, maybe this Roxy person, maybe this Sollux guy, is friends with him, and put him in the server, and now you’re in there too and probably can’t dip without being a massive asshole. A bigger one than you already are, you mean.

God, why do you fuck yourself over like this? It’s not that hard to just be a normal fucking dude.

You should probably respond to him.

This guy talks… really fucking weird.

Neither of you are typing, so you figure you’re probably good to go back to the server. Honestly, thank god Jake didn’t just block you.

Their activity statuses go grey, and you switch over to your drawing tablet. Might as well do something in their wake.

Maybe ten or twenty minutes later, long enough that you just finished an episode of Cowboy Be-Bop, Dave pesters you.

– turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 8:35 PM CDT –

TG: hey dude
TG: theres a swimming pool here
TG: and jade and june and roses siblings all know each other and are hanging out and i am fucking deprived of brotherly love
TG: also deprived of a bathing suit so unless you want me to skinny dip
TG: you should get your ass over here
TG: aight see ya soon man
TT: I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

– timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:37 PM CDT –

You get changed into a pair of swim shorts, your binder, and a rashguard, then you lock your apartment and drive over to the hotel. It takes you a hot minute to find the pool, but once you do Dave practically runs over to you.

“No running at the pool, man.”

“Fuck the cops. Good to see you.”

You take in the group of people who’ve gathered around the pool, and holy shit that’s Jane and Jake and who you assume is Roxy.

Roxy squeals and runs over to you, and you are seriously fucking concerned about poolside safety now. “You must be Dirk! Oh my god, this makes so much sense. Janey was telling me about your silly sunglasses–” and you’re insulted now– “And Jake was saying that you talked real funny and convoluted and OF COURSE you’re Dave’s older brother!!!”

“Uh. Yeah,” You respond, smartly. Coolly.

“This is suuuuuch a huge coinky dink. We should have invited you instead of Dave doing it! I didn’t know you lived so close to here! Come and sit with us!”

She pulls you along, and you have no choice but to follow. Your head is like a fucking mobius strip.

You sit down with them, though, and take in their appearances. Jane is basically wearing a wetsuit. It’s one of those old-timey swimsuits, with the stripes and everything. Roxy wears a pink bikini with a floral pattern on it, and Jake– Yeah, she’s shirtless. You try not to look too hard, because you’re going to have to take off your shades eventually to go swimming, since you know for a fact Dave will try and drown you at one point. Shit’s inevitable.

You actually manage to talk to people, for once. You guess something about your collective younger siblings allows you all to loosen up and really get to see each other, and if you were really, really tortured to, you could say that you were happy.

Roxy’s fun, bubbly, and really puts in the work to hold together a conversation. It looks almost effortless for him. Jake has his own weird little quips and goes off on tangents about the weirdest things– movies, guns, fae even talks about that one sex scene in Avatar– and you are revolted to say you find it unsettlingly charming. Jane is whip smart and you have no fucking clue how any of her teammates see him as this cold, unkind person when she’s funny and probably one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met.

You think maybe it’d be good to make some friends outside of assholes who won’t shut up on the internet.

Chapter Text

“Scoot over, Dave, I’m sitting next to you,” Jade waves their hands at you, and you oblige. You’re a bit tired, so you’re less talkative today, because it’s pretty fucking hard to sleep when your childhood crush decides to pass out on your shoulder.

You still scoot over, though. Jade sits down next to you on the bed and scoots over to be against your side, which makes your face burn and your mind wonder why the fuck they wanted you to scoot over in the first place.

You wrap an arm around them, and your mind wanders. As minds do.

You’ve liked Jade since before they came out. You still like them, though.

Even though they aren’t a girl.

It’s not that you still think of them as a girl, actually, even though that’s what you’d originally suspected. Last night once you managed to lay down comfortably and gently move Jade off of you you’d had a long conversation with Karkat on the subject. Of what your crush on a recently out non-binary person meant.

It went a bit like this:

TG: yo karkat am i a dick for still liking them if im straight or does that make me gay or what
CG: DAVE YOU ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN GAY.
TG: man

You don’t think Karkat’s right, for once, even if yeah, you tend to pay a little too close attention to the hotter dudes in shows and movies, and yes, you’re technically dating Karkat (a guy), and YES, you’ve had a huge crush on June for a while now (though he’s also nonbinary in some weird convoluted way.)

But there’s no way you’re gay or bi or anything approaching queer.

Right.

You look over at the movie screen, to be greeted with Nic Cage staring soulfully into your eyes. You actually have to repress a jolt of shock.

“June. Dude. What the hell.”

“While you were in space land I brought out my very treasured DVD collection. Look at him. He’s a marvel of a man.” June puts a hand over his heart and sighs. Gross.

“I thought we were watching Food Network,” you complain.

“Well, you weren’t here to vote!”

“You cannot fucking convince me that Jade and Rose voted to see Cage’s sweaty mug.”

“Ok, maybe just Jade voted–”

“And I was M.I.A. Revote.”

“Fuck no! You got to pick the movie yesterday!”

“I don’t want to see Nic Cage. Ever.”

“Too late.”

You sigh in defeat, flopping back against the headboard.

“Whatever, man.”

June talks through the entire movie, up until you all hear a knock on the door. You practically run to open it.

“Oh! Hi!” Roxy stands there, grinning. “I was just here to check on you kids, make sure you weren’t getting up to any trouble! Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

You open the door wider, and she walks in.

Roxy looks around, putting his hands on nya’s hips. “Aw, this is sweet!! I don’t think I’ve met you yet?” She says this whilst looking at Jade.

“Oh! Hi! I’m Jade Harley. They/them!”

“Roxy Lalonde! She/he/nya. You wouldn’t happen to have an older brother named Jake, wouldja?”

“I do happen to!!”

“Your sister’s a real looker,” Roxy winks. “Both of them, actually!”

Jade makes a grossed out face, and June does too a moment later.

“Anywhoositz! I came to see if you kids wanna go to the pool soon! Me an Jane and Jake are all going.”

“Oh that sounds so fun!!!” Jade squeals. “We should go!”

“But the movie,” June pouts.

“We can finish the movie later, silly! I’ll go grab my bathing suit!” Jade runs out the door.

“I don’t have my suit with me,” you mention, and June makes another face.

“Can Dirk bring it over?” he asks, tipping his head to the side a bit. “Or you can just put your feet in.”

“Maybe? I’ll ask.”

“Dirk, huh?” Roxy makes a face, and you have no fucking clue what that means. “You should invite him over!!! We can make it a party!”

“Sure, why not.”

You then proceed to have a conversation we’ve already seen before. Jade comes over in a rashguard and a pair of swim shorts, and June steps out of the bathroom wearing the same thing, and they look like the world’s dorkiest pair of twins.

Rose seems to contemplate between a similar look and a bikini top with a swim skirt thing before she sees the two of them and decides on the bikini adjacent one. You grab towels and head over to the elevator. You feel like kind of an idiot in your beanie and vintage tee and jeans and converse.

Once you get to the pool, Jade practically throws themself in, splashing the older siblings who’re sitting by the poolside. Jane complains and splashes them back, and it devolves into a full on battle between the two.

You take off your shoes and roll up your skinny jeans as much as you can and sit at the stairs in the shallow end with your feet in the water. Rose wades in, and you’re reminded of those grandmas in movies. You tell her such.

“I will not hesitate to splash you, Dave.”

“No, fuck you, these shades are like authentic. And my beanie couldn’t take that shit.”

You hear the door open and look over to see your brother holding two towels and your swim trunks. You get up to greet him.

“No running at the pool, man.”

He gently hits you in the shoulder, which hurts more than it should, because there’s still a healing bruise there from Bro. You don’t react, though.

“Fuck the cops. Good to see you.”

You take the swim suit from him, finding a bathroom to go get changed in, and do just that. You put your clothes in a locker for now.

For a moment, your eyes linger on the bruises and scars you have littering your entire body, and suddenly you’re glad you told your friends about them beforehand.

When you walk back out, you are absolutely drenched in water, because June brought a fucking bucket and dumped it all over you.

Actually, you decide to make it your life mission to kill him.

June runs into the pool and jumps in, and you run after him, careful not to eat shit in any puddles.

June immediately tackles you, and you grab his face and try and shove him under the water, to no avail. You start kicking at his legs and he tries to fucking tickle you and you shriek, going under the water and squirming out of his grasp. You grab his feet and he kicks around in shock, and then you start to tickle him back. You run out of breath, though, and have to resurface.

You both gasp for air, then devolve into fits of laughter.

You don’t even notice Jade swim over before they splash you right in the face.

You look at June really quickly, forming a silent alliance, and then you both start splashing Jade. Jade calls for Rose's help and Rose just seats herself on the staircase in the shallow end, watching smugly. Jade swims away, but June gets them right after, before they block it with their hands and start talking to him in a hushed voice.

They both turn towards you, smiling.

Aw, shit.

The rest of your evening is spent play-fighting in the pool. At some point, you and Dirk make use of the pool noodles they have and mock sword fight in the shallow end, and it’s way better than any other strifes you’ve ever done.

You and Jade go up against Dirk and Jake in that one game where you sit on top of each others shoulders, and Rose and June go up against Jane and Roxy. You and Jade lose, and so do Jane and Roxy, so Dirk and Jake go up against Rose and June, and they both fall at the same time.

You and Dirk sneak up on each other a whole bunch and try and drown each other, which leaves you both coughing up water at some point.

You do get tired though, and the older kids and Jade take the brunt of it, since they’ve basically been working their asses off the whole weekend. You all go recuperate in the hot tub for a bit. June lays by the edge of the hot tub.

“I’m glad I got to come to champs! Even if we don’t win,” Jade says, tracing whirlpools into the water. You all agreed that jets suck forever, except for Jake, but majority rules.

“You could say that again! I don’t think I’ve had this much fun since June and I visited you guys in Australia two years back,” Jane agrees.

“I gotta say, it’s so fuckin sweet that y’all are my friends now. You guys are like, the greatest.” Roxy leans against Jane, humming happily. “Dave, June, Jade, you three needta give me your discords. Imma add you to our server.”

“Oh! We actually have a really big server with a whole bunch of our other friends on there! I can ask Sollux to send you the invite link!” June sits up.

“Sollux?” Roxy looks over at June. “No way! Nerdy chinese guy with a weird fetish for twos?”

“Holy shit, yeah! That’s him!”

“No way!” Roxy says again, then laughs. “I’ll just bug him to send us the link, don’t worry. Damn. Small world.”

You guys all sit in silence. The sky is visible above you, and it’s pleasantly warm even though the sun set, because it’s fucking Texas.

You lean against Jade, and everything is good.

Chapter Text

DIRK STRIDER, APRIL 21-23, HOUSTON, TX.

Eliminations ends with none of you getting into Einstein, so you help your team pack up your shit and drive it back to your high school. You and Roxy actually end up on the same alliance, though Jane and Jake’s teams both just missed being picked for alliance selections.

After you guys lost, Roxy hugged you tight, and said she was glad to be your alliance partner. You felt vomity. It was.. pretty ok.

You guys got pizza together, and were appalled to find out that Jake and June both like fucking pineapple on their pizza. You all order individual slices, because there’s no way in hell you’re letting anything but cheese touch your pizza’s virgin ass. Dave gets pepperoni, and Jade’s is slathered in meat.

Jane does, in fact, come over and teach you a few things about cooking. You know how to make eggs, and bacon, and you actually know the difference between different utensils and cooking styles now. Dave tells you that the eggs you made are fan-fucking-tastic. You think they’re mediocre.

You end up messaging your new friends a lot, and you think you’re actually starting to sleep in later than 5 AM, just because there’s been days you’ve ended up staying awake until 4 just chatting away.

You’re surprised to find that Equius is on the server, and even more surprised when Jane adds someone who goes by Cal. You barely hold back a grin when Cal introduces themselves as a system and Sollux adds the PluralKit bot.

Hal and Rain set up their proxies, and you find a weird new solidarity with Caliborn. He’d mostly just annoyed you before. You find out that his headmate, Callie, is also pretty sweet.

DAVE STRIDER, APRIL 22-25, HOUSTON, TX.

You and your friends do end up exploring Houston. You first hit all the classic tourist spots, which mostly make Jade happy, since it’s all zoos and museums.

They tug you into the planetarium at the Natural Science museum. You’re so, so smitten for them.

“Pretty sweet date spot,” you say, before you can stop yourself, and Rose gives you a Look.

You put on a bit of a tour guide schtick as you show your friends around Houston. You tell them all about the different historical sites, stuff you researched at night while they were all asleep so you would actually have something to talk about, even if you just dunk on them instead. You even attempt a British accent and fake audio glitches when Dirk drives you all places to mimic those bus tours they’ve got in touristy cities.

As you guys get more into your home turf, though, you start telling them about some of your favourite restaurants and the game store down the block where Dirk first bought Mad Snacks Yo, and the mall, and you even show them your school. After hours, though, because they don’t need to see you just getting excluded by basically everyone.

And you stumble, a few times, pointing out possible date spots, which June teases you relentlessly about when Jade’s not around, and Rose makes sarcastic remarks right back at you. Jade points out some places that they like, and you note them down, in case they ever do visit again.

You really, really hope that they do.

ROXY LALONDE, APRIL 25, HOUSTON, TX.

You sit down on the floor next to Jane, glancing up at the bracket that he set up. You’re going against Jane first.

The only person you’re worried about beating is Rose, but you almost always win against her anyways.

You’re ready to absolutely kick ass at Mario Kart.

You feel a bit bad for Jane when you beat her, but to be fair, you figure there’s not a lot of people she would’ve won against. She did get fifth, after all.

June and Dave play against each other next, and nag each other the entire time, but June wins by a really narrow margin and sticks out his tongue at Dave, who playfully shoves him.

Rose and Jade go up against each other, and Rose wins, which you expected. Jake looks fucking flabbergasted, and he’s even more so when he loses to Dirk.

So you go against June, and you beat him easy, and Rose wins against Dirk too.

You win, of course. Inkling girl cheers on screen, and Rose makes a face at you. You grin back at her, cat-like, and then you all move to playing Smash Bros. You and Dirk are tied in that one, but Jade’s close behind.

It’s really fun. Jane even brings some cupcakes she made at Dirk’s apartment, and they’re fucking godly.

You do have a question for Jake, though.

– tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 1:04 AM CDT–

TG: jaek u gotta help me with something
TG: what kind of computer does jane have
GT: I believe she has one of those macbooks!
GT: Why?
TG: nunya
TG: also tf r u doing up!!! its late!!!
GT: You messaged me first, miss lalonde! If anything you should be asleep!
TG: shhshs
TG: do u guys celebrate chrismtas
GT: Yes indeed!
TG: awesome thank uuuuuuu

– tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] at 1:11 AM CDT–

Now you just have to find out how to code a puzzle game.

ROSE LALONDE, APRIL 27, HOUSTON, TX.

You stand in the foyer of the Strider apartment with Jade and June whilst Dave’s off tidying up his room and trap-proofing the place. The foyer itself has a lot of material that can be used for analysis, and you’ve resolved to taking pictures of every room.

Dave gave you a nearly half-hour long briefing about coming into the apartment. Don’t go in Bro’s room, ignore and avoid cameras, step carefully to not trip up traps. You’re seriously concerned about him. You’re making it clear through passive aggressive remarks.

Dave comes back and gives you guys the thumbs up.

“Let’s just go straight to my room first. Then we can play some video games or go sit on the roof, up to y’all.”

You note down that he’s nervous, then follow him through the apartment.

“Gross, dude, do you actually like these puppets? They’re creepy and gross.” June flicks one, and Dave grabs his hand.

“Careful, dude. Don’t wanna invoke the wrath of the puppet gods.”

“Geez, whatever.”

June’s right, though, there’s an insane amount of puppets scattered around. You know that Dave doesn’t like them, though, and you really do see why.

He shuts the door to his room quickly, and for the first time since you entered, your sight is puppet-free.

Dave’s room is still kind of a mess. There’s dirty clothes shoved underneath the DIY cinderblock table near his bed, which is unmade, and wires cover the floor. A string hangs up above between the two walls, but there’s nothing on it. You assume Dave’s hiding his photography, as well as a myriad of other things. You immediately start taking it all in.

Jade plops themself down on Dave’s bed, whilst June pokes around a bunch and snarks at Dave about various different things in his room. Dave makes a face at him, half-complaining back.

“Your room’s really nice, Dave!” Jade says, and Dave stumbles out a response.

You’ll have to update your notebooks extensively after today.

JANE CROCKER, APRIL 29TH, SEATTLE, WA.

You get off the plane late at night, nearly 12. Most of the little shops along the way are closed, so you just go straight to the exit, where you’re ambushed by Callie.

“Oh Jane I’m so glad you’re back! How was your flight? How was Houston?”

“Cal!!”

They hug you tight, and you are suddenly very aware of just how much taller than you they are. You hug back, and stay like that for maybe 5 minutes before you pull away, gently.

“How’s everything been in my absence?”

“Good, good! Oh, darling, I’m so happy you’re back!”

“Houston was good, by the way! I made new friends, and while our team didn’t win I found the experience just grand.”

“So tell me about these friends of yours!” You both start walking after you’ve grabbed your luggage from the carousel, June and your father following. Callie’s dad is waiting by his car.

“Well, there’s this girl named Roxy–”

Callie’s face lights up in recognition.

“Her last name wouldn’t happen to be Lalonde, would it?”

JADE HARLEY, JUNE 14TH, DARWIN, NSW.

You put the finishing touch on June’s bracelet, tying it together, and call for your grandmother.

She comes into the garage and smiles at you.

“Are you sure you’re not too hot, Jade? I can get you a fan!”

“I’m ok, grandma! I was just calling for the envelopes? I’m gonna take Bec and Halley on their walk and walk these down to the post office!”

You show her the set of three. You made Dave a red string anklet, Rose a kandi cuff and June a smaller kandi with little yellow stars. It’s not that it’s any special occasion or anything, but after Houston you all have been mailing each other little things more and more often.

“Oh! I’ll get those for you, dear. Do you want me or Jake to come with you?”

“I think I’ll be ok! What’s Jake doing, anyways?”

“He’s tending to his little pumpkins again. Don’t tell him I said this, but I really do think he’s ought to just up and admit that he’s good at something for once, you know?”

You do know, and you nod at your grandmother. He chuckles good-naturedly, then walks back inside. You follow them, bracelets in hand, and call for your dogs.

Becquerel comes running towards you and you beam, laughing as he jumps up onto you and licks your face.

“Down, boy! Where’s Halley? Hm?”

Bec goes down and leads you over to the doggy bed. Sometimes you DO think that this dog is weirdly smart. Halley lays sleeping, and you sigh. He’s getting old.

Your grandma comes with the envelopes and you package your gifts, adding in everything you’ve accumulated over the past month to send because shipping is expensive overseas. You put in your notes to them, too, then slap the labels on.

Bec waits for you at the door and you decide to let Halley rest, so you get yourself and Bec ready to go, before opening the door.

“Back in 30 minutes!” You call, then you’re on your way.

JUNE EGBERT, AUGUST 2ND, MAPLE VALLEY, WASHINGTON.

“Jane?”

You stand in the doorway of Jane’s room. She’s on her computer, but looks up when you speak. You go in and sit on her bed.

“So… How much time do you do robotics for?”

“Oh!” He looks surprised. “Well, I’m on drive team, or, I suppose was, so it’s a very heavy commitment for me. And I do leadership too. But most people just go after school on some days and do weekends during build season! Why?”

“I was sorta thinking about joining again. I still want to do theater, though, so what days is it on?”

“Mondays and Wednesdays from three to five. Build season’s that, plus weekends and Fridays.”

“And I’d be able to make it to tech week?”

“You should, yes!”

“Great. Ok! I might join. Maybe.”

– ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 4:13 PM PST –

EB: guess who’s about to be a better programmer and stage tech than you.
EB: his name starts with j and ends with une, and he’s messaging you right now.
EB: robotics is only three days a week at most and i can still make hell week.
EB: so ill be buffing up my coding while you’re just doing stage tech!
CG: JUNE. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A FAMILY DINNER. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT.
EB: hi karkat!
EB: nothing. just telling you about how awesome i am!
CG: IS THIS BECAUSE I TOLD YOU I GET TO BE STAGE MANAGEMENT NEXT YEAR? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IT’S NOT A COMPETITION.
CG: I TOLD YOU, I’M NOT INTERESTED PITCH WAYS.
EB: could you be interested in any other ways? interesting phrasing there, mr. vantas.
CG: OH, FUCK YOU.

– carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB]. –

EB: geez!

JAKE HARLEY, NOVEMBER 11TH, DARWIN, NSW.

Instead of going to his homecoming, Dirk is calling you. This is because he does not have a date, and because he’s not really a dance person anyways, in his words.

He’s joked about you being his at-home, mail-order hoco date, and you’ve told him that you would certainly try your best.

Despite your previous failures, you’re actually getting along quite well with all your new friends. It turned out Aradia and Tavros were also in your little sibling’s server, and you don’t talk much in it, but it’s fun to see people talk!

Roxy’s been messaging you a lot about her progress on Jane’s secret game, and Dirk and you have both probably messed up your sleep schedules a whole bunch just by staying up to chat with each other. That being said, his homecoming is at 10:30 am.

You thank your lucky stars that you had the day off today.

He’s telling you about this movie called Brokeback Mountain, and you’re only half listening, because at some point you decided to lock eyes with his shades that are just reflecting the orange sunset outside his room. He looks like a photograph.

He trails off, seemingly noticing that you’re zoned out, and you apologise quickly. He gives you the tiniest bit of a smile, the kind of thing you’ve learned to pick up on, and you beam back.