Archive of Our Own ^beta

I rarely won a sparring match against Dream – no, I never won a sparring match against Dream. He was so skilled in hand to hand that it was practically an impossible task. 

I’d lost track of how many times my back had hit the dirt in defeat. He never seemed to get tired of winning, and he always held a cocky smirk when he looked down at me. It irked me how he acted as though beating me was some great achievement, like he wasn’t the best warrior in the Greater SMP.

Truthfully, I had come far as a fighter, but Dream’s measure of success was me being able to best him in combat. By those standards I’d never be good enough, and he propelled that idea in his constant beratement during our training sessions. I was getting exhausted of having to live up to his impossible standards.

I realized the only way to beat him was to play dirty. And after the way he’d been treating me, it was more than deserved. 

I’d come up with the plan days before, but I needed to wait for the perfect moment to pull it out. That particular week we’d been working on maneuvering, honing my agility to best opponents that were bigger than me – which would be most the people I’d come across. Throughout the session I was making minor mistakes on purpose; I knew if I wanted to get him, I’d have to catch him off guard. The more I ended up flat on my back, the more Dream eased back on his intensity. 

“Alright, square up.” He spread his feet in another defensive stance as he waited for me to get back on my feet for the tenth time. I stood slowly, dusting myself off and preparing. This was the time I’d pull the rug out from under him.

“Can we take a break?” I asked with convincing exhaustion.

Predictably, he snorted and shook his head. “You can handle one more round.”

I studied him closely as I took my place opposite him. Dream was more predictable than he thought, if you knew what to look for. Most people didn’t fight him enough to learn his quirks, but I’d been his opponent plenty of times. 

There was one of two ways Dream started a match: either a fake forward or a full charge. The difference was subtle, but the way he braced his shoulders was just telling enough to predict what he’d do. This time when he ran forward he prepared for the fake. Perfect. 

Just as Dream was about to pull back and let me stumble forward, I side stepped to his left. He was slightly taken aback, but quickly pivoted and held a hand up to block a hit. Instead I went low, jamming my foot into his shin. When he bent down to grab me I rolled forward, moving behind him. I kicked the back of his calf, he shifted his weight to avoid falling. In doing so he left all his balance on his right side, and I slipped so I was charging into his side. He caught my arm in a tight hold as we tumbled down, rolling us so I was trapped underneath him. Just as he put his foot down on my ankle to pin me, my free hand flew to my waist band and deftly pulled out the training knife I’d hidden there. Before he could register what was going on I pressed the unsharpened stone blade against his throat, beaming with pride.

“You’re dead.” He didn’t let go of his hold, but squinted down at me in befuddlement. 

“What?” 

“If this was a real fight, you’d be dead.” I feigned a slice of his neck and twirled the knife in my hand with a pleased giggle. He ground my wrist into the dirt with an aggravated frown.

“We’re training hand-to-hand. No weapons, that’s cheating.” 

“You told me there was no such thing as cheating when it comes to a fight,” I regurgitated his own words back to him. “You never know what your opponent has up their sleeve.”

His eyes bore into me for a few more seconds, and I could see the anger turning red across his face. He had nothing to say, and eventually pulled back and stood up without a word.

“So I won,” I gloated as I stood with him. He scoffed.

“No you didn’t. If you need to bring a knife to fist fight, then you lost.”

“You’re just upset that I actually beat you.” I poked further, stepping in front of him as he tried to walk away. “You underestimated my abilities, thought you were too good to be taken down by a girl like me. That’s your weakness, Dream.” 

He closed his eyes and breathed sharply through his nose. I knew he was getting frustrated, but I wasn’t done rubbing it in yet. “It’s alright, you can give up if you want to.”

That was it. I watched as the irritation shifted fully into rage. But as soon as it had, his face fell empty and he turned to me like nothing was wrong. 

“No. Let’s go again. Keep the knife if you want.”

The better part of me knew not to go for it, but I couldn’t resist. There was a chance he’d make a dumb mistake in his fueled state, and I could actually beat him without the weapon. I tucked the knife back in the waistline of my pants.

I readied up. He waited for me to make the first attack. When I moved he moved, and it was like he was reading my mind. 

I’d never had Dream fight me like this before – the Dream I knew was an opponent I could match – this Dream was going to take me down like I was nothing more than a bug on the wall.

He didn’t try and swing a hit, going immediately for a grab. His fingers hooked onto the fabric of my shirt and he yanked, pulling me in. I tried to jam my elbow into him but he moved too quickly, and the second I was close enough he hooked his leg around my ankle and took it out from under me. With a rough shove I went down, hitting the ground harder than usual, and he was right there on top of me. He didn’t even try to keep my leg’s down, hand gripping my neck just beneath my jaw. He pushed forward, cutting off my airway. He’d never gone for a choke before, I tapped the ground immediately.

I let out a cough. “Okay.” He released pressure, but didn’t remove his hand. “Point proven.”

Dream smirked and drew his hand back, but didn’t move off me. He held himself up on his knees, keeping my torso still trapped underneath him. “Don’t pull shit like that again, and I won’t need to hit so hard.”

I rolled my eyes. “So you’re still whining over the fact that I outsmarted you.”

Dream’s fingernails dug into his palms, but his face didn’t give away his true temper. Yet again I pushed too far, and yet again he masked his anger behind an unfeeling exterior. I expected him to shut down and stalk off like he usually did when I pushed his buttons. He’d give me the cold shoulder for a few days and set me on the worst chores until I learned my lesson.

This time was different though. He stood and offered a hand to help me up. I eyed it with caution, but reached out to take it anyway. 

He lifted me like I was nothing, guiding me up and letting his free hand snake up my arm as he pulled me onto my feet. Even when I was steady, he didn’t let go. He stared at me for a lingering moment before he took a step closer to me. There was only a foot between us, and I was frozen in place. 

His hand slowly fell from my arm and dropped to my waist. The tips of his fingers danced across the shirt covering my abdomen and I felt pinpricks as they barely touched the skin underneath. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he balled the fabric in his hand and tugged. I stepped into him, my chest meeting his. A soft exhale involuntarily left my lips. His hand moved under my shirt, fingers tracing the top of my pants, and the other moved to cup the back of my neck. His fingers tangled in the hair of my messy ponytail, and he moved his face closer to mine.

I didn’t know why, but I was completely entranced. My body screamed to stomp on his foot or headbutt him, but I was completely and utterly under the spell of his soft green eyes. 

Dream laughed, giving me a crooked smile as he cocked his head to the side. He pulled me just slightly further into him. My mind raced back to the dinner conversation about boundaries, about feelings. This wasn’t allowed. He was breaking his own rule. 

My heart thrummed against my rib cage as I dared to see what he’d do.

In a flash he pulled the knife from my waistband and had it held against my neck. I finally broke out in a sigh and shut my eyes as he grabbed my hair and leaned my head back so my neck was exposed. I could hear his stupid, arrogant chuckle as he pushed the fake knife harder against me.

“Never let your guard down princess. I thought I taught you that a long time ago.”

I opened my eyes, he still had the knife to my throat, but let his grip on my hair go. He was studying me, curiously, and I knew my face was shifting to a bright shade of red.

He laughed again. “You weren’t going to stop me, were you?” I refused to answer him, feeling my embarrassment caught in my throat. He licked his bottom lip. “Good to know.”

Finally, he let me go and I nearly toppled over as his presence dissipated. I couldn’t do anything but stare straight ahead with a clenched jaw as I reeled over what had just happened. Heaven knows Dream didn’t need anything else to hold over me, and now he had an entirely new arsenal of ammo.

Gods damn it.

I wanted to whine to George about Dream. But that would have meant admitting what happened on the training grounds. So, in order to save face, I retreated to the back of the compound and avoided everyone, content to bury myself in maps and old documents until my mortification blew over. The stacks of papers needed organizing anyway. What better excuse to isolate myself for the next few hours?

Only twice did I hear footsteps outside the library door, and both times they were Sapnap's, coming and going from his room. I wondered if Dream had given the others any indication of how much of a dick he’d been. Would he gloat to Sap, enact some sort of revenge for what had happened a few weeks ago? 

He was ridiculous and out of line. What a hypocrite, making rules for everyone else then pretending like he’s above them. 

Rules, codes, commands. Listen to Dream. Dream’s in charge. 

Fuck that.

Sapnap was in his room when I went looking for him, and I was surprised to see that he was geared up. He was adjusting the strap of his chestplate when I pushed open his door.

“Are you going somewhere?” I asked, doing a good job at sounding completely normal.

“Land dispute, going to help settle it. I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” he responded. “Why?”

“Can I come with you?” I knew what question was going to come next – Did Dream say you could? I didn’t let him ask it. “I need some time away from.. the compound.”

In this case the compound was code for him , but I didn’t need to spell that out for Sapnap to understand. He looked at his packed bag behind him, and gave a reluctant nod. 

“Meet me out back in ten minutes. Just don’t tell Dream.”

“Don’t tell me what ?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin. With a panicked swivel I almost face planted into Dream’s chest, but he caught the sides of my arms to keep me from hurting myself. 

Sapnap cleared his throat and straightened his posture. “We’re going to settle that territory dispute outside of – ”

“Take George instead,” Dream demanded, and his grip on my arms tightened. Sapnap clenched his jaw.

“She wants to go with me.”

“Take. George.”

I wanted to yell, hit him, run out the door and go. But what good would that do? It’d only multiply the anger Dream already felt and put Sapnap further in the doghouse. There would be time to argue and fight him later. The last thing I should do was add gasoline to the forest fire, despite how badly I wanted to strike another match.

“Just go. I’ll talk to you when you get back,” I whispered monotonously to Sapnap. He looked at me, and I knew he wanted to push it. I shook my head.

Dream finally let me go, and slinked against the wall of the corridor to give them both space. Sapnap maintained a fiery stare on Dream, even as he took two steps back to grab his bag. He was none-to-subtle in the way he hiked it aggressively over his shoulder. “Just leave her alone, alright?”

Thankfully, Dream gave no reply, despite the fury that hid in his clenched jaw. I pushed myself off the wall and made my way to my room before I had to endure any more of the storm brewing between them. All I could hope was that my little stunt didn’t spark another fight later on.

As soon as Dream get’s over himself, things will be fine.

I spent the rest of the day alone. Even when I emerged from my room to get dinner, there was no sign of him. 

The compound’s complete emptiness was somehow more concerning than if Dream was stomping through the hall making a fuss or bossing me around. I began to wonder if he left too, though his armor and weapons were still on their respective stand. 

The quiet around me seeped in through the cracks of my resolve, and for the first time in months I began to doubt myself. For a moment I was back there, in an empty base far from anyone else, questioning if this was what I really wanted. If I should be here. Even without accounting for the wedge I’d inadvertently driven between Sapnap and Dream, there was plenty of reason for me to wonder if I’d made the right choice. What was really different from before? I was still confined, my freedom restricted, tied to follow the rules of men I didn’t really know. I put my trust in them, but was that good intuition or blatant stupidity?

Bickering with Dream was one thing. Our rivalry, the way we got under each other’s skin, it wasn’t ever enough to make me regret staying. But there was something in the silence that reminded me that I could be making the same mistakes. 

I just want him to talk to me. I need to know that things aren’t the way I feared they’d end up.

It wasn’t until later that evening, when I snuck back into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, that I realized where Dream was. From the window above the sink I could see him across the garden. He was hauling logs and cut planks, assembling them together in the diminishing light of the early evening. The bare-bones frame of the greenhouse was now standing upright, roof and all. Guilt pooled in my stomach. I shook it away and carried the cup back to my room.

It was only a matter of minutes before I heard him step back inside, and when he did my chest filled with much needed air. I swirled my cup against the oak grain of my desk to watch the small ripples in the half-dranken tea, wondering if I should go out and talk to him. Just having him closer helped shake away the panic from earlier, but his presence also brought my annoyance back. There really was no winning around Dream. 

A soft knock came from my door not a minute later. I called softly for him to come in, debating whether or not I should cut him any slack. He was in a t-shirt, which was slightly damp from the exertion of construction. His hair was pushed back as well, held out of his face by the sweat on his forehead. 

He took no time with small talk, bracing himself against the doorway by grabbing the top of the frame. “I wanted to say I’m sorry about today.”

“Are you?” It was rude, but it was honest.

“Yeah, I am.” A quick glance at his face told me he was trying to maintain calm. “I was out of line.”

“About what?” I pushed, and was met with silence. “Toying with me? Treating me like a child? Forbidding me to go on a job with Sapnap? Telling me who I can and can’t have feelings for?”

His head jerked up, he dropped his hands to his side, and his eyes grew darker. “You have feelings for Sapnap?”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “So that’s all that matters to you?”

“No.” He was angry I avoided his question. “But I think I have a right to know.”

“Why? It’s not like it involves you!”

“It does involve me. It involves all of us.”

“Bull shit.” 

I wanted to escape the conversation, but he had me trapped in my room. I was tired of fighting him all the time. It seemed like that’s all we did, find things to argue over. Another conflict to drive between us. One more thing to add tension to our ambiguously confusing friendship. 

“For the record, Sapnap’s just a friend. That’s it.” I hoped he believed me, but his stare gave nothing away. “But even if I did have feelings for him, it’s none of your concern. You may be able to control what I do when it comes to jobs and team responsibilities, but I’m still entitled to my own personal life.”

Dream sucked in a breath through his nose, and held it there. “Fine. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Those words felt empty. I turned back to my desk and took another sip of tea, hoping he’d leave. He didn’t.

“If you want to go on more jobs, I’m okay with that.” Dream stepped closer and closer, until I could feel him looming over my shoulder. “Just as long as I’m with you.”

I didn’t look at him. “You don’t trust Sapnap or George to go with me?”

“I trust myself more.”

His lingering presence was making my heart race. There was something there, unspoken. But I knew he wasn’t going to say it. He never did. 

I stood up slowly, barely able to do so without bumping into Dream. With a flat expression I looked up at him. “Alright. I’m going to hold you to that promise then.”

“Please do.”

His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and I was keenly aware of his gaze moving down my face. I wondered if he could tell just how fast my heart was thundering against my ribcage, or how his proximity sent shudders down my spine. A piece of me craved this closeness, reached out for it and begged me to hold on. 

I’m letting my guard down. But then again, so is he.

I placed a hand on his chest, pushing him a few steps back. “Boundaries, Dream. You were the one who made the rule.” He stared at me, a bit dumb struck. With a smile, I pretended like the loss of him had no affect on me. Instead, I pointed to the door, picked up my mug, and walked off. “Tomorrow morning you can find a job for me to go on.”