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"What is it with you and Cheez Doodles?" Landry asked, pushing the bag aside and setting his book down.
"What is it with you and calculus?" Tim shot back.
Wrong thing to say. Because Landry told him. In great detail. Tim understood the part about there was this guy named Issac Newton and this other guy named Gottfried Liebnitz.
"So, what is it with you and Cheez Doodles?" Landry asked again.
Tim tossed three of them up in the air, caught them all in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "They taste good."
Landry looked at him funny. "They do?"
On general principles, Tim flipped him the bird and said, "Yeah, Landry, they do. They just do."
Landry looked at him funnier.
"What?" Tim shrugged at him. "I mean, you might as well ask, 'So, Tim, what is it with you and girls?'"
Landry stared at his calculus book for a bit and jotted something down -- in ink -- on the problem he was working on. Without looking up, he said, "So, Tim, what is it with you and girls?"
Dumbass, Tim thought with a laugh and popped another Cheez Doodle in his mouth. Okay, so Landry was in one of those moods today. This could be fun. No, wait, this was always fun. Tim parked a cheez-eating grin on his face and replied, "They taste good, but you knew that already, right?"
Landry's pen froze in mid-squiggle before carrying on.
Tim couldn't stop his chortle and the ear-to-ear grin. "Trouble in paradise, Lando?" he asked mildly.
Landry glanced up at him, silently asking with his eyes.
"Take it from me, then." Tim shrugged and smiled as he licked the last bits of bright orange cheez residue from his thumb and forefinger.
"Can we not go there?" Landry grumbled and thwapped his pen down.
Tim steepled his hands, put on his "serious" face, and burst into snickers a split-second later. "Nope."
"I mean it, Tim."
"So do I, Lando." And yeah, he was serious about this -- in a way. Tyra had needs. And Tim knew damn good and well that the only reason she had put up with him as long as she had was that he knew how to make her incredibly happy. Several times in a row. "You go down on a girl, it gets you serious brownie points," he said.
"I don't need to earn brownie points," Landry hissed in a tight voice.
Tim threw his head back and howled with laughter. "Oh you are so wrong about that." When he got it together again, he asked, softly, "But, seriously, why haven't you, you know ...?"
Landry's face flamed. "Because -- because I don't know what to do!" He whisper-hissed.
Oh. But how could a guy not --? Wait, this was Landry. Tim leaned in close. "Get down there. Nature will take care of the rest."
"I'm not so sure about that," Landry muttered, heaving a gusty sigh. He looked over his shoulders, checking to see that nobody else was listening in.
Tim felt kind of sorry for Landry, but on the other hand? This was still too damn much fun to let go. "Well, it's not exactly like I can come along and give you a demo." He leaned forward a hair and leered. "Or can I?"
Landry planted the heel of his hand firmly on Tim's forehead and pushed him back. "You're disgusting!" he snapped, slamming his book shut and shooting to his feet. "We don't --" he started before he dropped his voice to an urgent murmur, "We don't need something like that to keep it good between us."
Tim shook his head and laughed again. "Lando, my offer will remain open as long as necessary."
Landry wadded up the Cheez Doodles bag and granny tossed it at him. Tim snatched it out of the air.
"I'm going to tell Tyra," Landry growled.
Tim smirked. "Please do." Too easy, but he couldn't help himself. Really.
Landry tisked at him before storming off.
Tim leaned back and laughed softly to himself as he pitched the empty bag -- He shoots! He scores! -- into the trash can a few feet away.
Because, really? Winding Landry up and pushing his buttons?
Almost as much fun as fucking him.