Chapter Text
May 2015
Dean loved you and you loved him.
And after Charlie’s death, his rampage against the Steins and a lot of other events you were yet to learn about, you were back together. You were both alive and you couldn’t be happier. At least you wanted to be.
Sure, you still had some issues to iron out and more than likely a few heated discussions to get through, but eventually, hopefully, things would be great again. You’d look into your abduction, you’d work out why God brought you here to the States, and you’d figure out a way to restore your family’s memories of you.
First things first, though, you needed a shower.
After walking the long seventeen-plus mile distance between what Sam had phrased as your ‘respawn point’ and the Spearville motel, you were feeling rather gross. Cass may have healed your cuts but blood stained your clothes and skin and you needed to do something about it.
The only problem was, being in the comfort of Dean’s arms again felt far too good to be true and part of you worried that if you took your eyes off him, even for a second, he might not be there when you looked again.
Suppose the night had been a dream or an illusion and you were still separated? Would you wake up and find yourself alone in the room with Sam and Dean yet to arrive? Or worse, would you find yourself back in the old distillery with Rowena, or had you died when Cas stabbed you with the angel blade?
You felt alive. You could feel the warmth of Dean’s arms wrapped around you and smell the motor oil, gunpowder, and leather that lined his clothes and skin. You had tasted the nip of whiskey on his tongue when he kissed you earlier and against his chest, you felt his heartbeat and breath.
He was real, he was there, and yet you squirmed against him to pinch yourself and make sure.
“What’re you doing?” Dean asked as his chest shook against you. He never missed a beat.
“Pinching myself. Making sure this is all real.”
“And is it?”
You looked at him to see the amusement in his eyes. “I think so… I did the same thing when I saw Charles on the platform during that illusion though, and it felt real then… I’m just worried if I take my eyes off you, you won’t be here when I come back.”
“Where exactly were you planning to go?”
“I’ve been dying to have a shower since I got here. But I didn’t have anything with me and I didn’t want to greet you guys in a towel. I didn’t know about you and me and, well, I think Sam and Cass are self-explanatory…”
Dean smirked at you before nodding his head towards the bathroom door. “Go on. I’ll be here when you get back… Unless you want me to join you?”
“Always. But you must be tired… And maybe you should put some ice on this? Your fingers traced along his jaw where you could feel the swollen and bruised muscle beneath the skin. “What happened?”
“Cass happened…” he said. “I thought you really wanted a shower?”
“I do… But I’m fairly certain you’ve got a story to tell me too…”
“Yeah… And we’ll get to all that… Come on. Shower first. Just because you’ve had a catnap, doesn’t mean we all have…” Dean added with a pat on your thigh.
You took his hint and stood up, removed the jacket you’d been wearing and placed it over a chair. The shirt you wore, while quite dark, didn’t mask the blood stains that sat on your scars.
You must’ve been a sight to see for the cashier and motel receptionist, and it was no wonder they had been as unkind as they had to you. You were quite an oddity.
“Did you bleed that much the other times?” Dean asked, acknowledging your clothes for the first time.
“I was able to clean them up fairly quickly the other times, except with the Grigori. But this time was a little different. It felt stronger… Must’ve been part of the pull that brought me here. I felt that too. When Cass struck me… It was like I split in two… Though I’d already been sick because of the book, so it…”
The second you mentioned the Book of the Damned, you regretted it. Dean had said he’d forgiven you for keeping it a secret from him, but it felt like you were rubbing fresh salt in the wound.
Too soon, as the saying went.
Dean’s arms wrapped around you from behind and he rested his head on your shoulder. “You know I really wanna suggest a clean slate again, but we still need to talk about it. I don’t want any secrets between us, so we need to lay everything out on the table before we get too far ahead of ourselves… But let’s not think about it too much tonight… Alright?”
“Alright.”
He nudged you to turn with him and you shuffled towards the bathroom together. Dean guiding you from behind.
Once in the confines of the small room, Dean helped you undress first before removing his top layers.
As his arms lowered from removing his t-shirt, your eyes went straight to his right arm. The skin there was bare. No scar, no wound, no Mark of Cain whatsoever. All that adorned his skin now were the freckles you reacquainted yourself with.
Dean turned the shower on and even spun the hot water up higher, as he knew you preferred. While you appreciated the gesture, he made a small fuss when he stepped under the steam, and you decided it was best to lower the temperature for him. “I’m good. I’m good,” he insisted as he swatted your hand away.
‘Thank you,’ you mouthed before joining him.
The second you moved under the hot stream, the dried blood washed away, turning the pooling water below a translucent pink.
Dean placed his hand on your waist to keep you steady as you leaned over to pick up the complimentary soap from the vanity. His little gestures of care reminded you just how lucky you were to have him and his first ‘I love you’ came flooding back, causing a small smile and warmth to spread through your cheeks.
“What is it?” he asked, bringing your attention back to him in the present.
“Just reliving the moment we had back there.”
“Which one?” He smirked as he began rubbing the soap over your skin. His small circular motions were slow to move across the top of your rib cage, swooping lower to the scar in the centre of your chest. The suds turned pink as they picked up the remaining dried blood there. His movements distracted you as his hands moved closer to your breasts and you heard him chuckle as he waited for you to answer him. “Sweetheart… Which one?” he asked again.
“When you told me you loved me. Well, the part leading up to that… You freaked me out a little.”
“I knew it.”
“I just wanted you to hug me back… You left me hanging for a while, and I can’t stop thinking about it now… In a good way.”
Dean was still cleaning your breasts. At least one hand was. The other was fondling the other and had been doing so for quite a while now. It caused butterflies to dance in your stomach and a yearning for him to touch you elsewhere. “I think they’re clean now.” You grabbed his wrists and moved his hands lower.
Dean just smirked at you more and clicked his tongue. “You’re always so impatient. You wanted me to hug you back there, and I bet right now, you’re dying for me… to touch you here.” His hand cupped you, right on top of the curls that covered your entrance.
You had to bite your lip or risk releasing a small gasp as you felt his middle finger slip between your folds. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. He already knew he was right, and you didn’t wish to raise his ego any higher than it already was.
“But you know that. I don’t have to tell you at all…” He removed his hand and brought it up to rest on your waist. The other now washed you again, this time over your stomach and around the rest of your torso, dipping lower and closer to your extremities. All the while continuing to smirk at you.
Still preferring not to say a word, you stepped in closer so that the suds that remained on your front transferred onto him. You used his body to keep yourself steady and reached up to kiss him, hoping to wipe the smirk off his face, but it just did the opposite. His lips widened but still upturned to invite your tongue in. The washing of your body had all but stopped as Dean’s hands cupped your bottom and pushed you flush against him.
On your stomach, you could feel his arousal poking into you, but you were determined to not live up to your proclaimed impatience. So you didn’t grind into him and you didn’t move your hands anywhere below the belt. Keeping your kiss innocent, if you could give the actions of his tongue that name.
It felt like you hadn’t ever been this close to him at all. As if you were both the versions of yourselves from four months ago. Before your first deal and any mention of later. Back when you could only dream of him being attracted to you, let alone falling in love with you. Knowing you had almost lost this connection with him by doing something so stupid, you savoured it all. Every touch, every graze, and every look.
That was the moment you realised what those three simple words meant. He was your everything. Your friend, your lover, your family, and you loved him more than anything else.
He tried to stop you when you pulled away from the kiss, which made you giggle. The words did not come across as sincere as you hoped, but you needed to tell him and you needed to tell him then and now. “Dean… I don’t think it… I really do love you, too.”
Rather than saying anything back, his award-winning grin spread across his face. The swelling on his cheek was more prominent and even though a grimace, he brought his lips back to yours.
The soap hit the floor and bounced once or twice before you felt it slide over your foot, but you didn’t care. Too caught up in what you were doing to bother with anything else but him and the hands that now roamed over your body. Every touch and slippery caress excited you both more and more.
When you felt an arm slip in between you, your lips fumbled against his as anticipation overtook you. His hand was sliding back to where it had been before until it wasn’t, and he stopped with a chuckle. He removed his mouth from yours and brought it over to your earlobe. His breath tickled you just as it had done outside the room earlier as he spoke in that deep voice you loved the most. “Do you think I’ve kept you waiting long enough?”
“Yes!” you huffed.
Chuckling some more, he leaned down and scooped up the soap he’d dropped earlier before bringing you back into him. His arm slipped between you again and a finger found its way to where you wanted it to be. Dipping into your folds, brushing along the sensitive bundle of nerves, up and down.
“Let me take care of you tonight.” Green eyes watched yours as a second finger moved to join the one teasing your entrance.
You nodded through a soft moan and grabbed hold of him. Wrapping one hand around his arm while the other rested on his back. Your fingers squeezed him, almost mimicking the way they would grab hold of any bedding if some had been below you instead. The sensations were intoxicating, blowing any other session you’d experienced with him out of the water. Touched for the very first time? Nope. Touched as if it were the first time all over again.
He had been, and still watched you when he inserted both fingers further inside, rubbing them along your spongy centre and eliciting another moan from you. This time a little louder than the first and did not go unnoticed. “I was beginning to think I wouldn’t hear that sound again…” Dean whispered. “It’s only been a week, but I’ve missed you so much.”
You tried to focus on his words, but when he hooked his fingers inside of you and began massaging your inner wall with the pads of them, it surprised even you that you could stand. Your brain was just one mushy pile of goo by now, with your head feeling just as warm as you were down below. The love and care he’d been showing you during the last couple of hours had all been foreplay to your mind.
Dean moved his fingers faster, applying a little more pressure as he searched for that sweet spot he knew was there. When the tip of his finger moved lower from where it had been stroking and your breath hitched, you saw his chest shudder. His chuckle was barely audible through his next words. “Let go for me, sweetheart.”
On his next upward stroke, you felt your stomach clench as if a fine, taut cord connected it to your core. When he rolled his finger back down over that extra sensitive spot of nerves, the cable snapped. Your inner walls attempted to grip him, but he continued his moments, further heightening your release and encouraging the aftershocks to linger longer.
His hand still cupped you, but he removed the other from your backside and brought it up to your cheek to bring your lips to his. He placed a few light kisses on them before speaking to you again. Still as soft as before. “I think it’s time we took this out of the shower, don’t you?”
You nodded, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. “Yeah. Unless I can convince you to let me wash you in return?”
“Not a chance,” he chuckled before kneeling on the shower floor to inspect your legs. He cleaned all the dried blood from your legs before standing up again to tap you on the rear. “Go wait for me on the bed. I’ll be there in a sec.”
He held your hand as you stepped out of the shower, making sure you were steady on your feet. Only letting go when you grabbed a towel to wrap around yourself. Hesitant to leave the bathroom without him at first, you stood there contemplating if doing as he’d suggested was the best idea. You looked back at him for reassurance and his eyes met yours, winking at you as he motioned his head towards the door.
With a sheepish grin, you stepped out into the main room and crossed over to the bed, drying yourself off as best you could before reaching it. Then, pulling back the covers, you climbed in under the freshly laundered sheets and watched the bathroom door. While you’d love to say you were patient, that wasn’t the case. You were nervous and just wanted to be close to him again.
Dean only took a minute more in the shower, taking the chance to clean himself before he joined you, barely a second after you heard the water turn off. He didn’t bother to dry himself and when he slipped under the covers to join you, you shivered at the feel of his wet skin.
“Seriously?” you protested.
“What?! It’s about to get warm in here. We’ll be kicking off the covers in no time.”
His arms pulled you to him as he chuckled along with you. Your naked breasts squished into his sculpted chest, while his erection poked into your lower stomach. The hand that wasn’t under you brushed along your thigh, resending tingles to your centre as it moved itself back there, inch by pleasurable inch. Every touch of his skin on yours and every gaze he made with his eyes filtered deep into your soul and you felt overwhelmed again. You’d almost lost him. Not just as a partner, but to the Mark.
Your silence and facial expression must have given you away because he halted his ministrations and brought the same hand to your chin. “What’s wrong?” he murmured.
“I didn’t think we’d be here a week ago…” As you spoke, you looked up, knowing that if you looked into his eyes, you’d cry. And crying was not an option right now. “You said you were worried you lost me, but I lost you…”
“I need you to listen to me, okay?” he asked, making sure you were at the very least looking at him again before he continued. “And I need you to remember this. There is nothing you can ever do or say that will ever take me away from you again. I know that sounds like a really unachievable thing with what we do. But if I’m affected by another curse, or spell, or any hoodoo crap, even if we’re fighting, I’m telling you now, I love you and I will still love you. You’re stuck with me. Alright?”
You nodded your head in agreement. “And if I ever try to break up with you like I did back in the car, you ignore me and you remember this, here and now. I’m yours and when the crap is over, I’ll still be yours.”
With so many words said, without even giving you a chance to tell him the same, he leaned in to kiss you, chaste and innocent at first. Soft and feather-light.
His hand that had still been on your chin, pushed up into your hair, combing it with his thick fingers. Individual strands caught on the rough skin and tiny bumps that lined them. The kisses you shared built in momentum, wide open-mouthed, presenting with just the right amount of suction.
Dean had always been skilled, knowing what you needed more than you knew yourself, and before too long, his fingers were dancing over your most sensitive areas once more. Replaced shortly after with something even better. The two of you making up for lost time, once again, and hopefully for the last.
*****
You woke up the next morning to the sound of Dean’s guitar riff ringtone. It was a wake-up call you’d rather not have, but along with his body pressed into yours, it told you that last night wasn’t a dream and he really was beside you.
With a low grumble which sounded like a possible “Fuck off” he moved away from you to retrieve it. “Sam,” he sarcastically addressed his brother. “Yeah well, I’ve been busy… Sleeping… Cause we didn’t sleep much during the night.” You closed your eyes and shook your head. Poor Sam. Though it sounded like he brought it on himself.
“Hey! You asked, man.” Dean quipped into the phone and you opened your eyes to glare at him. “What did you expect?!…” he winked at you. “Yeah, we’re probably going to need to skip the big family breakfast… No. Well, maybe…” he chuckled. “But her clothes are covered in blood. So I wanted to take her to a store first…”
There was a longer pause after he mentioned your clothes and you wondered what Sam was saying. “Ah, yeah… That would be awesome, actually. You wanna swing by and grab the keys?… Sammy! You know I’m taken, man!” He then looked down at himself before adding, “I’m wearing boxers alright… Yeah, okay…”
Dean wasn’t wearing boxers, he was butt-naked.
When he hung up the call, he walked over to the bathroom to retrieve the discarded clothes from the bathroom floor. When he placed them on the table and actually put some boxers on, you could question him about what was going on. “What the hell was that?”
Dean grinned at you as he picked out the Impala keys from his jacket pocket. “You might wanna duck under the covers, sweetheart. Sam’s just coming by to grab the car keys.”
“Yeah...” you scoffed as you pulled the sheet up around you. “…I got that much. I meant all the rest of it…”
“He asked me why we were still sleeping…” Dean informed you as he moved to the door. There was a knock, and he quickly glanced at you to make sure you were covered, then he opened the door for Sam. Handing over the silver set of keys to him standing outside. “Here. I’ll message you her size.”
“My size? Hang on, what?!” you called out.
“There’s no need to get all self-conscious, sweetheart…”
“What?! No. No. That’s not what I meant. Why do you need to message Sam my size, exactly?” you clarified.
Assuming was the wrong thing to do, of course, but putting two and two together you realised they were most likely organising a change of clothes for you. And if you were right, while it was indeed sweet, it wasn’t necessary or welcomed, to be honest. You’d promised yourself that you wouldn’t allow them to treat you like a helpless child anymore and whatever this was, was looking like one of those instances.
“Your clothes are covered in blood,” Dean replied with an amused look. “I was planning to take you out to a store, but Sam’s offered to get you something so you don’t have to worry about putting your old ones back on.”
You closed your eyes and breathed in and out, calming yourself before you voiced your opinion on the matter. “That’s really sweet, guys, but I’m good. I can handle the ones I have ‘til we get back to the bunker.”
“You sure?” Sam called back.
Still outside the door, he wasn’t visible to you. After being greeted by Dean only in his boxers, he was no doubt worried he’d see something else. “Yeah!” you answered back. “She’ll be right!”
Dean tilted his head as he shared a look with Sam. “Well, you heard it straight from her… Give us a minute to get dressed and we can go have that breakfast after all.” He then closed the door and turned around to face you, looking concerned. “You don’t wanna get clean clothes?”
“It’s just not necessary. I can deal with it… Really,” you reassured him when you noticed he’d narrowed his eyes. You got up off the bed and walked over to him. His hands found their way to your waist when you moved in to kiss him on the lips before pulling back just as quickly. “You know that stuff we have to talk about?” you asked.
“Yeah…” His eyes watched you with caution.
Being extra careful with your word choices so as not to offend or upset him, you took your time. “I really need you to consider cutting the apron strings and letting me make decisions that directly affect me. Like my clothes, for example…”
Dean surprised you when his first reaction was to smirk back at you. “Point taken… And we’ll talk about it. But don’t expect me to change my mind about benching you on anything angel or demon-related. I don’t want to think of you ‘respawning’ on the side of that road again.”
You snorted at that and he didn’t take it too well. “Your safety ain’t a joke, sweetheart. I told you, I can’t lose you.” He sighed before returning a peck to your lips. “We’ll talk about it later, with everything else, I promise. Let’s just get dressed. The sooner we eat, the sooner we can leave this shitty town, and I can get you home to our room.”
“Okay,” you agreed before you walked over to collect your clothes from the table where he’d placed them.
You got dressed side by side. Dean insisted you wear his flannel over your stained shirt, which you accepted until he teased you on stopping Sam from getting you a change of clothes, pointing out that you’d chosen a strange hill to start on. That earned him a playful slap on his arm and you another “I love you” from him.
Where were you at? Four? Five now? ‘Why are you counting, idiot?’
It was close to nine when you exited the motel room to find Sam and Cass both waiting for you. Since none of you wanted to stay in the motel or town any longer than you needed to, Sam returned both sets of room keys to the reception desk. Informing you on his return that the day’s staff, a woman of a similar age to the guy from the night before, was just as crabby. You wondered if maybe they were a husband and wife duo.
“Let’s get outta this dump and find a diner or something,” Dean spoke up a little too loudly for your liking, though luckily there seemed to be no one in earshot.
“I think we passed one on the way into town last night,” Sam added.
As did you. “Yeah, I saw it too.”
“Alright. Well, I’m not leaving Baby here, so everybody is in,” Dean stated as he moved over to the driver’s door. “Sweetheart, you’re riding shotgun.”
You looked at Sam apologetically, but he just smiled at you and gave you a side hug as he walked with you over to the right side of the Impala. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Glowworm,” he added as he opened the passenger door for you.
*****
Fifteen minutes later, you had all placed an order with the waitress of the diner you’d seen the night before.Cass, who sat opposite you, had ordered coffee and a second meal of Dean’s choosing, knowing full well he wouldn’t eat it. While Sam had opted for something on the lighter, healthier side as usual.
You had chosen a full American breakfast, which included everything, from bacon to hash browns, as well as a side of fruit salad. Having not had a full meal in over a week, your eyes were bigger than your belly could fit, and yet you did a fairly good job of it. Dean only needed to help you finish some of your eggs and the pancake, which you had felt, was unnecessary with the added toast.
The guys made a few jokes at your expense about your appetite and the protection spell, questioning if you had respawned, or not. They all agreed that you had more than likely only apparated and not come back similar to how the Winchesters had both returned from hell.
Dean, as usual, took things one step too far by pointing out that he noticed you still had the scars you had gained since he first knew you. Only to contradict himself minutes later by proudly claiming he had taken your virginity, much to the disgust of both you and Sam.
“Did you really need to go there?” you chastised as he smirked back at you.
“TMI Dean…” Sam agreed while refusing to make eye contact with either of you. “What happened to keeping things to yourself? You’re going to confuse the hell out of Cass.”
The angel, indeed, looked confused and directed his addition to the conversation at you. “So it was okay for us to talk about what we did?” he questioned.
You had conveniently forgotten about the ‘pep talk’ you’d shared with him, and you choked on the mouthful you had been chewing because of the unpleasant reminder. “It wasn’t okay, it was, really, awkward. And you agreed to drop it, remember?” You said through the constant attempt to clear your airway.
“Alright. Dare I ask?” Dean sighed as his hand moved to pat you on the back.
“After Sam left for Superior to find you, we went back to the bunker so she could change. It’s when we cleaned the library some more before we met with Crowley. I wanted to understand why Glowworm told Rowena about God bringing her to America and…”
“…What?!” Dean frowned.
As Cass rambled on, you felt smaller, cringing as Dean attempted to compress his outrage.
“Rowena knows about Charles?... Why do I get the feeling you all know about this?” He turned to Sam, who looked back at him bashful grin. With a shake of his head, Dean mumbled an “Excuse me” before leaving the table and walking out onto the street.
You were impressed he’d gone outside to blow off steam. He was frustrated, and you knew the two of you could no longer avoid the talk that had been looming over your heads. Excusing yourself profusely to Sam, you followed Dean outside to find him now leaning on the hood of Baby. As you approached, he moved his knees apart, allowing you to stand close to him. “Guess we can’t hold back talking ‘bout the serious stuff any longer, huh?” you asked.
“Guess not,” he grumbled. “You wanna tell me about Rowena first?” Despite his clear agitation, he grabbed hold of your hand, gently squeezing it and interlocking your fingers together. Reassuring you, he was open to hearing you speak.
“I’m sure you know some of it already from what Sam or Cass have told you… I went back to the distillery with Sam after Charlie’s funeral. He had every intention of getting rid of the book, but then Charlie’s notes came through on his email and he made a deal with Rowena…”
Dean nodded his head. “Yeah… I knew that much. And you ended up staying there when Sam went to kill Crowley and Cass went after me… I was pissed when I heard they’d left you alone with the witch…”
His sentiment elated your heart, and you found it easier than you thought to explain the circumstances behind Rowena, and Crowley, finding out the truth about you and how you arrived in the States.
He stayed quiet throughout, listening to every word you said. And when you’d finished, the first thing he asked you was not the one you expected. “And you’re sure you’re not pregnant?” he asked.
With an inappropriate huff, you looked into his eyes as you reminded him about your IUD. “You sound just as bad as Cass. I’m covered, remember. Plus, your best friend already gave me the once over with his finger trick after I stupidly suggested it…”
Dean’s chuckle was as awkward as you’d felt back then. “Are you telling me he did an angel version of a pregnancy test on you?…”
“Yeah…”
“So that’s what was awkward?”
“Not exactly,” you sighed. “He and Sam both got up to me for what I’d said to Rowena. But in the car, on the way to the bunker, Cass tried to give me a relationship pep talk…”
Dean found that hilarious at first. Until you brought up the part about Cass suggesting that you buy him a pizza and the reason. “He talked to you about porn?”
“Yup… Apparently bringing pizza to someone leads to sex. And sex would fix what happened between me and you.”
“I mean, sex helped, right?” Dean wagged his eyebrows.
While you rolled your eyes at him, a small smirk formed on your mouth and it made Dean grin back at you in return. “Well, I wouldn’t say it helped, but it definitely made it better,” you snickered.
One of Dean’s hands released yours and began attacking your side with a pout. “l can’t believe I have to have ‘the talk’ with the man-child angel again…” Dean mused.
His hand stopped its assault on your waist when you squealed a surprised “Again?!”
“Not ‘the talk’ but it was bad enough when I had to stop him from watching porn in front of me and Sam…” He shuddered. “That’s where the pizza thing comes from…”
“Do I wanna know why he was watching porn in front of you two?” This sounded like the story he and Sam had told you about his one-night stand with the porn star, and you were unsure if you wanted to know.
“You, do, not…”
“Does Cass even…” You shook your head, not believing the question you were about to ask. Are angels interested in sex? “Never mind. I really don’t wanna know…”
Dean smirked at you in that charming, boyish way, and you knew just by the way he looked at you that he’d picked up on your train of thought. Rather than continuing that part of your conversation, he asked, “Did you have enough of your breakfast?” instead.
“Yeah…” You’d almost forgotten all about it and were more interested in your present discussion. “So, I told you what happened to me just now. I don’t suppose I’m going to get to hear what happened to you this past week?” Your free hand moved up to his still-swollen cheek. “And about this?”
“I told you, this was because of Cass…” he replied as his hand covered your own.
It still made little sense, though. Cass had heeled your cuts with no qualms, so his grace was intact. Why hadn’t he healed Dean, too?
“Why didn’t he heal me?” he jumped in before you could even ask. “He wanted to, but I told him no… It’s my reminder of what I did. It’s not enough if you ask me…”
“Everyone makes mistakes, Dean. I did, Sam did, we all have… Doesn’t mean you have to keep going around sporting this if you don’t have to…” you whispered. But after a few seconds of him grimacing and purposely avoiding your eyes, you tried a different approach. “Why did he hit you?”
Dean snorted. “Same reason he set your protection spell off. He was still under Rowena’s spell. Though he was worse by then. He was more like an animal. Just like Raul’s girls…”
‘Raul’s girls? The prostitutes, right…’ “So he was still hexed, and he fought back?”
“Yeah… We’ll continue this later…” Dean agreed before looking behind you and nodding his head with a “hey.”
You glanced over your shoulder to see what he was looking at and saw Sam and Cass leaving the front step of the diner. Sam looked concerned, while Cass seemed just as lost as ever. As they approached, you stepped away from Dean to no longer face your back to them.
“Cass!” Dean began with a gruff sigh, standing up next to you. “You gotta stop bringing up the pizza guy, man… It’s bad enough me and Sam had to deal with it in the moment. But you don’t bring it up in front of other people and especially not in front of her.”
Sam chuckled and turned to the angel. “You brought up the pizza guy with Glowworm?”
“I thought I was offering her advice. We were bonding… I apologised,” the angel mumbled. “I’m sorry again Glowworm…”
“It’s okay, Cass. We’re cool. I was just telling Dean what happened with Rowena and Crowley, and that came up, too.”
You were relieved that Dean knew the truth now, but there was still so much more the two of you had to talk about.
*****
Forty minutes later, after a quick pit stop at your respawn point those twenty miles out of town, you were all in Baby once more and finally on your way home. Dean had insisted on stopping there, wanting to check the place out for himself for any clue why you hadn’t appeared until a week later. He made you wait in the car with Sam while Cass accompanied him, weary himself of not letting you out of his sight, either.
You were riding shotgun again, yet another stipulation Dean had made along the way. His right hand never let go of yours as he drove, unless he needed it to manoeuvre the car. He and Cass had found nothing at the site and on returning to Baby, his hand took hold of yours the second the ignition had turned over and he’d put her into drive.
During the last twelve hours since you’d been reunited with your friends, you had sensed that they were hiding something rather large from you. An elephant in the room, if you will.
At first, it was a look all three men carried. A fear perhaps. Whenever the mark was mentioned, the three men would exchange occasional looks, and Dean had been avoiding discussing what happened to him after he left you the first voicemail of many. They were hiding something, but Dean had made it clear. He wanted everything laid out on the table between you.
Now that you felt you had a long enough gap to ask them about it, you cornered all three of them at once. “Okay, guys. Seeing we’re stuck in the car for another two hours at least, are you going to tell me what’s going on now? Something is definitely up.”
Dean looked over to you and was about to say something when Sam interrupted with, “Dean hasn’t told you yet?”
“Told me what?” You addressed Dean with the question before informing Sam that you’d only covered what had happened to you so far.
“There was a consequence to removing the mark with the book. In general actually…” Dean began. “Death warned me before I killed him.”
Your eyes widened, not focusing on anything in particular. “Death? As in, the grim reaper, Death?”
“That’s the one.” Dean pursed his lips.
“You remember that voicemail Dean left you?” Sam interrupted, scolding in a way that seemed to hint that he hadn’t forgiven Dean for whatever it was he was about to tell. “And the note he left me. How he was saying goodbye?”
You nodded your head, watching Dean’s reaction to Sam’s words. Shame, obvious in his eyes. “Yeah…”
“He summoned Death to kill him.” Sam continued from behind the driver’s seat.
You weren’t angry that he had attempted to have himself killed. You forgave him for everything that had happened while you had been apart, even the things you didn’t know yet. But you were saddened that you weren’t there for him during his time of distress. He had gone to do something so drastic and he had done it all alone.
Your fingers were intertwined with his and you squeezed them once in reassurance.
He squeezed you right back, choosing then to glance at you. You almost missed the way his lips upturned at the corners.
“And you killed Death?” you asked Dean.
“Yeah. But not before he told me that the Mark of Cain was a lock and that it needed to exist in the world in order to keep something out of it.” Your brows furrowed in concentration as you tried to keep up and understand. “When the mark was removed, it opened the lock, and the Darkness was released.”
“The Darkness?” you repeated. “What’s the Darkness?”
Your eyes travelled between each of them, hoping for some kind of answer, but none of them seemed to know and Dean confirmed just that. “We dunno. After I killed Death, and the mark was removed, there was a giant, black, fart cloud.”
You looked at him strangely at that remark.
“That’s the best way to describe it.” he shrugged. “Sam and I went to drive away, but it came right over the top of us and then I had a vision. We’ll call it a vision. And I saw a woman in a field and she thanked me for setting her free.”
“You saying this chick was the thing that was locked away? The Darkness?” When Dean confirmed with a simple yes, you questioned further. “But, Rowena did the spell, she removed the mark, so shouldn’t she be thanked?”
Dean glared at you. “Really? You’re as bad as him.” He tilted his head back towards Sam, who gave you a sheepish grin.
You shook your head, trying to get your thoughts back on the right track. “So, this chick, the Darkness, she…”
“She’s actually a baby. A toddler…” Dean corrected you.
“What?”
“Yeah, according to Dean she’s now a small child…” Sam added. “A baby we saved from a hospital.”
All of this was confusing you and rather than trying to keep up, you asked them to go back to the beginning. Starting from the moment you’d last heard from Sam at the distillery.
When they finished, you attempted to recap everything they’d told you. “So let me get this straight. You’re looking for a baby, who appeared to Dean as an adult and is the oldest thing in the universe. God and Lucifer locked her away and the Mark of Cain acted as the lock and key. And it’s possible she’s the Darkness and she could end the world… So we need to find her, so you can get rid of her?”
“Yeah, that’s about it…” Dean confirmed and with a grin added ever inappropriately. “Gank Amara. Save the world… What’s that look for?”
You were staring at Dean in disbelief the second you heard the name, Amara. There was just no way, was there? You knew that name. Sure it was a common one, but Charles had mentioned someone of that name many times before.
“Charles had a sister named Amara… He said she’d done some messed up stuff and, well, she was doing time in jail…” you revealed to the car.