Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was sometimes snowing in the place Alatus originated from, but never as much. Will the little white bits ever stop falling from the sky? The snow was now reaching his knees as he proceeded forward, its coldness burning them and making his muscles stiff. How long will his body last? He was asking that question many times during his servitude, but now it seemed much more real. 

He knew that something bad happened. His owner sent him to this isolated snowy place in the north and told him to wait for her there, just as she was sending him to human villages to steal dreams. But neither his master or humans with dreams he could feed on were there. Just an endless snowy path, guarded by rocks on both sides that he had no power to climb. He couldn't stop either, he knew that if he sat down, he would freeze to death. He could only walk until he reached somewhere. Anywhere. Was his master defeated? Is she still alive? Alatus was her most powerful underling and most importantly, the last remaining adeptus under her command, she wouldn't leave him like that… she… must be dead. Maybe a few years earlier he would hope that it's his liberation, but he wasn't as naive anymore. 

With snow all over his face, he didn't notice a stone sticking out from under the layer of white powder, everything was just too white to see the mound before. He fell on his stomach on the rock, no doubt that he won't find strength to straighten up anymore. Then… he could feel his stomach warming up. Oh no… no no…. 

"Agh!....." 

His crotch cramped awfully, trying once again to push the big intrusion out. He knew that clenching on it won't help, so he used the last of his strength to move his numb hand between his legs and hold desperately into the place where his entrance was located, where his body was trying to get rid of the now foreign object. The cramp was awful, but soon went away, leaving only a burning sensation. Both the contraction and the pressure of his hand made the infected flesh burn in a new wave of pain.

 Alatus started crying pathetically, like a child, just trying to voice out how unfair he feels, tears turning into tiny crystals of ice on his cheeks. He nearly passed out from the cold and crying, when his eyes caught a tall figure approaching him. One of the things that caught his attention was that his feet are completely bare. Even Alatus, despite not being given shoes, had them tightly wrapped in bandages…Maybe it sounds silly, but his fading consciousness chose that one detail to cling onto. Isn't he… cold?.... Shouldn't he… wear sho… or at… at least anyth.. ing…. 

His head fell down on the rock, together with his hand. In that half-awake state, he only felt a pair of strong arms holding him up. He focused all of his remaining consciousness on forcing himself to breathe and keeping his thighs tightly shut. 

-

When he woke up, he was naked, in a fresh room with walls covered in wood. There was also a bed… wh.. where is he?... 

"Oh, you're awake! I'm so glad…"

He jumped, pulling the blanket tighter over himself and looked into the direction of the voice. Beside his bed there was a beautiful woman with blue eyes and hair the color of ash. She also was smiling brightly, holding some pieces of fabric. 

"Where am I?!..."

"Don't worry, you're safe. She's gone." 

So his assumptions were right. 

"... I understand…what is this place? Do you know who carried me here?" 

"It was my friend… you will meet him, but we need to make you presentable first, don't we? Here, it's one of my old dresses. I hope it suits you."

Alatus was alarmed by the divine energy surrounding her, but he knew better than to refuse. At first, he was a bit confused. He wanted him to wear women's clothes? But then he remembered that she never saw him in his male form. How could she know? Even despite his female reproductive organs, he didn't make his chest large, so the dress was a bit loose on that area, but the woman quickly fixed it by pulling back the stripes that went over his shoulders and attached them to the back part with some pins. 

"I will get it adjusted for you later. Is it comfortable?" 

"You didn't have to… my lady." 

"It's fine, I have plenty of these. Now lay here and rest more, I will come for you when dinner is ready. Oh, and Rex Lapis took off the brand. Or at least, the visible part." 

Alatus gasped. He was branded in his previous home, they put a sigil in the shape of a blue bird on his neck that he couldn't wash off. But also… his hope faded. He regretted letting himself 'hope' in the first place. He knew from his masters that Rex Lapis is a powerful merciless god. So this whole incident…. His master sent him so far away so the young adeptus wouldn't get into his hands. Maybe she hoped she would manage to escape his attack and eventually retrieve her most powerful underling? Well, it's all in the past now… he just prayed that he won't be much more cruel… 

"... Hey? Hey sweetie, why are you crying? Okay, maybe…" She panicked. "Names, of course! I'm Guizhong. I'm an adeptus, just like you." 

Guizhong, the goddess of dust. Alatus felt…. surrounded. He just freed himself from his masters and now he just ran straight into the hands of another two gods. There is no way… he can save…

"Alatus." He whispered. 

"Good… by the way, I know it's not pleasant and I'm so sorry, but we need to get through it.. … your… um…. private parts seem to be in a bad condition. Is it…" She lowered her voice "A venereal disease?" 

He froze and looked at Guizhong in horror. 

"I'm sorry!... I know it was rude, but I'm trying to help you, it's obviously infected… whatever it is.. we will treat it, okay? Let me get you examined…" 

"Please… please no…" He pleaded with a pathetic small voice. 

"Okay, I will… give you time. See you at dinner, Ala."

The goddess left. 

She was clearly really sorry for asking, but that didn't calm his nerves. When is said dinner? No one will come in here until then? His insides cramped again, making him bend in half on the sheets, at least not when she was there… He couldn't hold it anymore, he needed a break, just a little one. A flash of pain went through the swollen and itchy mess of his crotch and a white egg with a teal marble pattern fell on the pillow. It was covered in yellow mucus that shouldn't be there, holding something in that place for so much time couldn't lead to anything else. He started to thoroughly wipe it with the bed covers, to get rid of the filth. 

Alatus was tired. He was sometimes questioning himself; is that suffering worth it?.... 

He could only faintly remember when his old master got married to Osial. Alatus was small, still not big enough to be used for work, but she decided that he's worth raising after she worked his parents to death. 

He knew that man, he was visiting her from time to time to discuss her strategies and now he was supposed to move in. Also a god, with blue inhuman eyes, beautiful blue horns and hair that was reaching his waist. He was handsome, Alatus knew that half of the female servants had a crush on him. But, he didn't seem interested. 

It turned out that it was not because he was a loyal husband, but because he had different… preferences. They were too old for him . Him moving in was the beginning of a hell. Despite his master and her husband cooperating, there seemed to be no jealousy or actual genuine love between them, an obvious marriage out of convenience. She was turning a blind eye to what he was doing with their underage prisoner… And other adepti prisoners. And he was doing.. a lot.

He once requested that Alatus change into a girl. He did it, thinking it will be only for a while, so Osial can have his fun. But, a seal was put on him and he never changed into his male form ever since. As an adeptus, he had enough power to freely tinker with his gender, so without thinking much, he just changed the entirety of himself, including internal organs. He wondered to this day if that's what Osial was originally going for, but he never let him go back and correct it after his shape-shifting powers were taken away. 

At first, the young boy he was, he thought that he was doing it just because he found enjoyment in hurting him. It was later that he learned that he had another ulterior motive in that. 

Newly formed female organs were certainly functional. His first clutch scared and confused him, but his still childish mind could comprehend that it meant children. He was happy for about 20 minutes before his masters found out. 

Alatus still has nightmares about this moment on some nights, the moment he was presented with a classic dish - fried eggs for the first time. He was eating these before, but this time he was very well aware where they came from. Were his previous breakfasts made from eggs from other adepti prisoners? Did other prisoners get his eggs to eat? The thoughts were making him want to throw up. The goddess was standing by the door looking equally disgusted but not interfering and his abuser was sitting on the other side of the table. 

"Eat Ala. To efficiently harvest dreams, an adeptus needs any help to regain their stamina. We can't let your bodies just expel protein like that."  

Of course he didn't care a bit about his health. He just needed him to survive and feeding him adepti eggs was a way of making him last longer. And he just simply found satisfaction and entertainment in watching him suffer. Because the little boy he was, he was still happy to have kids. He hoped that even if Osial takes them away, he will at least let them live. Seeing that Alatus is not willing to eat, the man sighed in pretended pity, but the haze of these two ice-colored eyes remained as sharp as it was. 

"Fine, I will make it easier. You will only eat half of them, I will eat the other. Deal?" 

In the next two seconds, Alatus pushed the whole fried egg into his mouth, making Osial chuckle. He nearly threw up, but if someone is going to eat it, it's not going to be that man. It's his and no one else's. Of course, these were not his. They looked too big to be his and certainly came from another adepti prisoner. After all, the miraculous properties of adepti eggs didn't work on the person who laid them. But still, it was the only way he could give them any justice. He threw up in the end, but at least it happened after they left him alone.

The situation repeated itself many more times. It kept him alive, but was a reason for many nightmares and sleepless nights. Until…

A few months ago, he had an unexpected clutch. Or to be precise, one egg. Because there was only one, he didn't realize that he's egg-pregnant, no one did. He always had three or more and it was visible very quickly on his petite body, but not this time. He hugged it to his cheek, breaking into tears, knowing what would happen, he hated it, this place, his life…. 

 Hearing footsteps in the corridor, the boy panicked, sobs getting lost in his throat. With adrenaline rushing through his body, he did the only thing he came up with in a few seconds - he pushed the egg back where it came from, trying to ignore the discomfort. 

It was the only way to hide it, he tried to hide his eggs under his bed before, after lying to his masters about the amount, only surrendering half of the clutch to them. He managed to keep them hidden until they were too far along to eat. They couldn't possibly incubate there so they just went bad, but Alatus treated it as a victory. When their father found them, he just smashed them with disgust and Alatus ended up with his hands crippled. He's an adeptus and fingers are not something he can't regenerate, but the pain… Osial's words were still ringing in the young boy's mind. 

"If I wanted little shitlings, I would have just fucked that stupid wife of mine instead." 

But it was not that man who stormed into the room on that day. It was actually his wife, Alatus's master. And she was furious . The goddess quickly informed him that her husband smelled her trouble with other gods and left her without a word to save his own guts. In strong emotions, she mocked him a bit, them both, saying that Ala is 'poor', left without his sperm donor and then left, smashing the door shut. She was so angry at her ex, that she didn't even notice that Alatus cried. Thanks Celestia, Osial never returned. All he learned from other servants was that he found himself a younger girl of his species. 

Since the day he disappeared, Alatus started carrying his egg around like that. His birth canal was so fucked apart, that despite being a tight fit, it did not crush it when closing after laying. It seemed to be permanently loose, he was being used every few days, weeks at most even since he was big enough to be forced open. But now, without that sexual maniac lurking around, it tried to close, cramping a few times a day to try to expel the egg that shouldn't be there anymore. He didn't let it, he was only letting it leave for a few minutes a day, to wipe off the mucus and rinse it in some clean water. Of course it will become impossible once it hatches, so… he will figure it out once he gets there. 

It might be a child of an absolute worst person in the entirety of Teyvat, but Alatus vowed to save it. Even if for the sake of its older brothers and sisters who ended up as someone's meal before they could do as much as develop a beating heart. 

-

He hoped that he's not walking weird when he entered the dining room. The adeptus seemed to look decent in Guizhong's dress, because he earned a few gasps from the staff, and he didn't intend to reveal his gender for now. If Rex Lapis takes down the seal and he transforms back, his egg will lose its only protection. Of course he didn't think that these two, especially the seemingly gentle and ever-smiling Guizhong, would force him to eat it or anything like that, but he couldn't predict their reaction, so… it can't come out. Not yet… 

"Sit down." 

Rex Lapis's voice was deep and gentle, it made Alatus jump a little. He quickly sat down.

"Thank you for your hospitality." He said in a quiet voice, avoiding two golden eyes that seemed to physically pierce right through his chest. 

He looked like Osial's polar opposite. They shared a few similarities, dragon horns, red eyeliner and long hair - but that was it. Rex Lapis has darker skin than him and his hair was tied into an elegant ponytail instead of being let loose, his clothes looked much more… proper too. And of course, both his clothes and hair were in warm colors, not only blue and white. 

When he spoke again, the boy jumped a bit once more, his deep and powerful voice still doing things to him. 

"I know you robbed countless humans of their dreams and hopes. It definitely killed a lot of them. I didn't consider you a criminal, because I do not see such predispositions in you. That surprised me, so now is your chance to explain yourself."

Oh. So the dinner was more similar to a trial with eating as an addition. Alatus swallowed hard. His own saliva of course, despite not wanting to be impolite, he couldn't bring himself to touch the food that was on his plate.

"That… is true. I can grant dreams to people, but  I have no power to harvest them in any way. My master was lending me her divine powers to do that. So I won't… attack anyone or anything."

When Rex Lapis was wondering what to ask next, Alatus had to hold the urge to sigh with relief. It went surprisingly well… he was afraid he wouldn't be able to put words together, but the two weren't HALF as terrifying as Osial and the goddess of dreams. 

"Did you willingly start serving under her? Or did she deceive you in some way?" Another question reached his ears. 

Alatus started shaking a bit, the relief gone in a blink. How to even start explaining that? He couldn't really remember... He started shaking, unable to put a sentence together. But… but it started so well… 

"Morax, give her a break…" Guizhong whispered, concerned. 

"She's not a child." 

"...I can't remember. I was a toddler." he finally managed to utter out. 

"...No memories of your parents?" 

He shook his head. 

"Barely any." 

"When did you start harvesting dreams?" 

"A-At around… 12 or 13 years old? I don't know my exact age." 

He wanted to cry, as these two golden eyes seemed to pierce his very being, but he couldn't let it crush him. 

"She doesn't seem to be lying." The god concluded, after a while of thought. "But that requires further investigation. Now, to wrap it up… I know there were others. Where are they?"

"... The last one died a few years ago. My master was looking for someone new, but she had other problems… "

He nodded and scratched his chin. 

"That information was already confirmed by my informants. But there is one thing I still can't uncover. What was the purpose of gathering human dreams? Why did she go as far as enslaving so many adepti to harvest them for her?" 

"I… wish I knew. But this topic was forbidden at 'home'."

"I understand. You can eat now, if you want to, of course. We have more questions, but they're quite sensitive and we still need to consider the best course of action."

Alatus ended up leaving his plate nearly full, unable to eat from stress. But, he was used to not eating for days, so he could power through. When everyone went to sleep, he locked his door from the inside. Of course it was protected from him going out, but not other people going in. He laid down on his side and caressed the teal surface of the egg. It was just around the size of his closed first and its surface was reflecting the moonlight a bit. He nervously pressed it against his ear for a moment and smiled a bit, hearing a heartbeat. It's still alive. 

"You're so strong. Don't worry, we will make it together. We will find a way. Just hold on for a bit more. Just a bit more…" 

He could swear he heard a little sound inside. Lately, the hatchling was getting a bit more active. It made the boy wonder who it would look more like. Him, or its father?... Well… He will love it with all of his heart, no matter the outcome. He will find a way to escape if necessary. He promised himself to give it everything he wished for when he was a child. Pretty toys, sweet clothes. Lazy afternoons under spring sunshine. A dance on a beautiful sea of flowers… 

Someone knocked at the door. 

Panicked, Alatus quickly pushed the egg back in, whining quietly from pain and put his panties back on. 

"I…Who is it?" He asked. 

"It's me. Can you open the door?" 

The familiar deep voice made him immediately cover in sweat. What if Rex Lapis knew what he was doing a while ago somehow? What if he is monitoring him in some way?!.... He wanted to respond, to open the door, to be polite, but he found himself paralyzed in panic, sobbing in the middle of the room, his hands scratching his shoulders to the point they bleed. 

"...Alatus, are you feeling off? Should I call a healer?" 

He just opened the door from outside and looked at the sobbing boy with a puzzled expression. Alatus made a few steps back, to fall on his bed and then pressed his back against the wall. 

"No no no no no no no…" He kept whining, holding his head. 

"She seems to be in mental distress." He heard Rex Lapis saying to whoever was waiting outside. "Let's take her to Guizhong, perhaps she will be more comfortable with a woman…" 

That's how he ended up in Guizhong's room. There, he finally calmed himself down, even if just a little bit. The god didn't bring up his secret, so he probably still didn't know. Guizhong cleaned the cuts on his shoulders and gently wrapped them in a soft bandage. 

"Why did you do it to yourself..?... There are already so many scars on you! Can't you use your powers to hide them?..." 

She seemed genuinely worried about him and the simplicity and sincerity of her emotions was calming him down in a way. 

"I'm.. sorry I displeased you, my lady." 

"It's about you! You're a beautiful young girl, you have to care for your looks… What about I give you a little makeover? You looked well in these clothes I gave you, but I can improve your hair too. I'm sure I can make you into a real beauty!" 

"... There really is no need, my lady." 

She sighed and sadness appeared in her eyes. 

"Ala, I don't want to be forcing you to do anything. I know that I can't make you happy right after you went through something like that. But please, let me help you in what I can."

"I hurt people! Humans were suffering and dying because of me! I deserve nothing of this and you know it…" Alatus broke into tears and bowed down, looking into his knees. "I can't… I can't… I have nowhere to go… there is no redemption or warmth for me…"

"I… I understand. I'm sorry for pushing."

He fell asleep on a makeshift bed on the carpet in Guizhong's room. He had several cramps through the night, but thankfully they were not painful enough to keep them awake for long. The curtains were tightly shut, so he didn't wake up in the morning until someone touched his shoulders. He slowly opened his eyes and waited for his vision to sharpen and then looked up, to meet Guizhong's gentle look once again. 

"Wake up… Rex Lapis wants to talk to you. He's sorry that you got scared yesterday." His breath hitched and he shook his head, panic aching in his chest once again. "Ala… oh, you poor thing… is it men? Are you afraid of men? Or is it just him? Calm down, I will go with you. He only wants to talk. You're not in danger. You're innocent. Please…" 

"I-Im not innocent…"

"...I will ask him to just come here, okay? Calm down, I will be here with you two, I will ask him to leave if it's too much."

It took a few more minutes of convincing until Alatus stopped crying and sat down on a chair, waiting for his 'new owner' to come. 

"... Just what did they do to you? You're not accused of anything. You were exploited." Rex Lapis kept explaining in a calm voice, but Alatus still refused to look him in the eyes. He didn't want him to see how much fear and anguish there is in his face. He will start suspecting sooner or later. 

"..."

"...Okay, let's take a different approach. Did I give you any reason to hate me?"

Alatus considered it for a moment, but then shook his head. Rex Lapis didn't express any hostility towards him. All he knew about him was from stories from his master. 

"... Then why? Do I bring up bad memories? Are you afraid I will hurt you? Be honest with me."

He decided to be brave and slowly nodded. 

"Why? Why would I hurt you?" 

To that, Alatus couldn't respond, so he just remained motionless. No matter how supporting the two gods seemed, he knew better than to tell them. 

"... Fine. Let's leave that for later today. Now, you need a new name." 

Alatus looked straight at him with surprise and the god smiled, happy that he finally attracted his attention. 

"W-What for, my lord?" 

"The incantation that was composed to put a brand on you includes your name. To not go into complicated details of the curse, by changing your name, I might be able to make it unusable. I removed the visible mark because it was probably a humiliating thing to have… but it fixed only the surface of the problem. As you probably know, the brand allows your 'owner' to remotely cause suffering to you if you misbehave or even kill you. Your owner is dead, but if someone else finds the original manuscript with the incantation, that me and Guizhong failed to locate…. they might take control of you once again. We need to take it off."

"Just changing names… That sounds a bit too easy…"

"Yes, but it might be possible with someone like me, you probably can tell that I possess a great power. Will you let me try?"

Alatus nodded. He knew that it just means getting branded again, just by another person. But refusing it would raise suspicion so he had to agree, he just sat down in silence, silently mourning his dreamed freedom. Rex Lapis lifted his hand and pointed it at him, a golden light emanating from between his fingers. Suddenly, the seal on his power was broken. Alatus gasped and resisted the urge to revert into his male form with all he's got. Heavens know what would happen to the egg if his body turned back now. His uterus was always present in his body, internal organs were one of the things that adepti art couldn't change and all of his species had two reproductive systems regardless of gender, but the birth canal that the egg was forced into, was only present in a female body. It was scary to even think… But by some miracle, he managed to keep it up. 

"From now on, you shall be called Xiao." Rex Lapis seemed to not notice just now much he struggled merely a few seconds ago. 

"It's… the name of these lanterns." 

"Yes, and I hope that this new name will light up your path-" he suddenly stopped and looked at Xiao in disbelief. 

"M-My lord?" 

"Oh, it is nothing. I simply… zoned out a bit. Do you like the new name? We can still change."

He nodded. What else was he supposed to say? But… He liked it. It was short and had a good meaning. He still got alarmed by the god's reaction though. Just what did he see?... Did he look right through all his secrets? 

"Good girl. You see? I'm not that bad."

But Xiao couldn't bring himself to believe it. Not yet. 

Chapter Text

When he left, Xiao returned to sleep. Rex Lapis once again didn't bring anything up, so perhaps he really just zoned out…? When Guizhong offered to take him to eat breakfast, he politely refused. But when he woke up, all sweaty and panting, he kind of regretted this decision, thinking that he could have been eating now, instead of having another nightmare about Osial, in addition he got another cramp from stress. It so happened that there was someone else in the room, a young girl with blue hair. He later learned that her name was Ping. 

"Hey, are you okay?!" She kneeled next to him and put her hand on his shoulder

"What are you…" 

"I'm just here to collect something for Guizhong… she warned me that you will be here, I'm so sorry that I woke you up…" 

"It wasn't you. I had a bad dream. Think nothing of it. I…" 

"... Do you want me to call someone?"

Xiao shook his head and covered himself with his blanket again. 

"... Yes, of course. I'm sorry. I will go. Are you sure you're feeling alright?" 

"Why do you care?" 

"Well… I was the one who took care of you when Rex Lapis carried you here. But I left before you woke up, so you probably don't remember." She gave him a smile "I would love to see you get better." 

The girl left and Xiao suddenly felt bad. She looked genuinely worried. Still, he couldn't fall asleep so he got out from under the blanket and walked around the room. It was a bit funny how among pretty and proper ornaments, he noticed some things that looked like mechanical junk, or pieces of some unfinished machine. There was a whole pile of these on the desk. Among them there were tools and blueprints too, which suggested that Guizhong was an author of these… pieces of art. He looked at them with fascination but didn't dare to touch. Then he noticed that a little drawer under the mirror was not completely closed, so he peeked in, to see evenly organized make-up tools. He lifted his eyes to see his face in the mirror and suddenly felt… ugly. His hair was a big mess, clothes from yesterday were already messy and smelled of sweat. He also spotted an unfamiliar purple diamond-shaped dot on his forehead. Oh… that must be his new brand. A sigh escaped his lips and he looked on the armchair beside his makeshift bed and just as he remembered, there was a pile of clothes with a piece of paper on it. He was not too good at reading, but he managed to make sense of it. 

"Use if you need" 

He unfolded the delicate fabric and made a sour expression. Another dress. It was pretty, but he's a man!.... Ugh… he put it on and it was fitting, so he looked into the mirror again. Hair, his hair is too messy. Would Guizhong notice if he used her comb?... yeah, she would. The dress looked too proper to just go back to bed in, so Xiao just attempted untangling his hair with his fingers. He wanted to cut it, but he was not sure if he's allowed to. Osial made him grow his hair... Guizhong returned a few minutes later and grabbed his wrists. Xiao looked at her in surprise, but she gave him a gentle look and searched the drawers. She finally pulled out a spare comb and gave it to him. He bowed his head to show gratitude.

"Thank you my lady… But I would rather just cut it. 

"Oh that will not do! I'm sure your hair is pretty. I have a good shampoo, we can make it work."

She washed and combed his hair, then quickly tied it into a braid. 

"Better?" 

Xiao nodded, feeling somehow humiliated. Shape-shifting was never meant to last forever and his body was demanding that he turns back into his original, male form. And looking into the mirror and seeing a girl where he expected to see himself, was not helping. But Guizhong meant no harm. And it was not ugly. 

"Yes… now my hair won't be in the way. Thank you, my lady."

He let her do his make-up too, she seemed happy to have him as her little doll, but… the sour feeling of humiliation faded away. It doesn't matter if he looks male or female, when he… looked and felt beautiful for the first time in his life. He even got a bit emotional, but did his best not to tear up - he didn't want to ruin it. He liked it. Actually, he liked these subtle red lines under his eyes so much that he ended up wearing them even later in life. 

"Feeling good?" 

Xiao nodded. 

-

Hunger finally caught up to him, so he didn't deny lunch. He excused himself to the bathroom real quick to clean the egg and then headed to the dining room. His mind ended up in a little dissonance, because he hated being looked at, but at the same time liked the attention he was getting, now that Guizhong made him presentable. He always considered himself ugly and filthy, covered in scars and bruises, now people considered him nice to look at. 

On that day he learned that eating at the same table with Rex Lapis and Guizhong was not something normal. And that when he's called there, there is probably some kind of conversation awaiting. But this time, he was told to eat first, so he quickly devoured his grilled fish and thanked for the meal with an anxious voice. 

"You're finally eating well. That's good, you're thin as a straw..." Guizhong handed him a tissue to wipe his mouth with and he did. 

"So… we can't run from this forever." Morax crossed his arms on his chest and sighed. "We need to talk about one more thing Xiao. And we both decided that now is a good moment. It's probably embarrassing for you, but necessary" 

He gulped but nodded, all the darkest scenarios crossing his head in one moment. Guizhong lifted her hand and all the servants quietly left the dining room. 

"O-Of course, my lord." 

"We did not examine you closely, the healer checked on you but we did not feel right with taking a closer look while you're asleep. But there must be a reason for how swollen your… private area was." 

Xiao remained silent, trembling in panic. He wanted to make up an excuse, but his thoughts wouldn't gather. Finally, he managed to utter a cheap attempt at dismissing the topic. 

"I-It's already healed. N-No need to dwell on that!... Please…"

"It is important, A… Xiao. Did someone hurt you? You have handprints on your legs. Please tell us." Guizhong put her hand on his and started caressing it. 

He nodded. 

"Are you suffering from a venereal disease?" 

"N-No." If he said yes, he would get examined. Using that as an excuse was out of the question. 

"So… it's an injury?" She kept asking. "Or perhaps you had a miscarriage? Please…"

Hm. Maybe that's the one? It's something that already happened, so it will be something to be forgotten over time. Also, the goddess of dust is sensitive. She won't let Morax be pushy about such a fragile and feminine topic. Well… there probably won't be a better one. 

He nodded again. 

Guizhong gasped and squeezed his hand. 

"W-When did it happen?..." 

"Just before you rescued me! It all came out and healed already… p-please no more…please…"

"Of course… you poor thing…"

Guizhong gulped it down so easily. Xiao sighed in relief, but then…

"One more thing."

Xiao lifted his eyes up to meet Morax's. 

"Y-Yes, my lord…?" 

"I did not ask yesterday, because I didn't know how to approach it. But now, since we are already on the topic, let's get it out of the way."

Xiao stared into his empty plate, unable to guess what it could be. What if he knows something?...

"The healer who examined you, reported an interesting thing to us. Your body is in an overly bad state. Nothing dangerous, but there are multiple signs of neglect. We will fix that, but she also reported that your waist is deformed and came to the conclusion that something must have pushed it apart when you were very young. You already gave birth in the past, didn't you?" 

He moved back in his chair, his breath racing. He wanted to escape. Doesn't matter where, just somewhere far away, get up and leave… All the memories flooded back into his head. They will discover sooner or later. Why lie? Why defend himself? He's already as good as dead. No… he can't give up! There's still hope. 

"Xiao. What happened to other children?" His voice was not angry. But it was firm and merciless. 

"I-I don't know… They took them away! Please…please… I can't…" 

"Morax, enough!" 

And there she is. His angel. Using miscarriage as a leverage was a hit. It felt bad to lie to his saviors, it actually felt completely shitty. But he has to save this little life… 

"Guizhong, don't overreact! It's important. Just a bit more. Do you think that they hatched and are still alive somewhere? Maybe there is still a way we can help them."

Xiao shook his head. 

"They're all certainly deceased, my lord. My master… wouldn't bother to raise an adeptus that would be just another mouth to feed for years before they can be used. I was… a-already an exception."

"Why?" 

"No idea." 

Morax out his hand against his forehead, thinking. But it seems that whatever he was wondering about, he did not find an answer.

"Alright. Thank you for your cooperation. You're dismissed."

-

That conversation was scary. Very scary. But he played it right and his little lie helped him to avoid examination. It was 'too painful and personal' after all. After a few more days, Guizhong decided that he should be allowed to walk all round the property and showed him around. Morax helped him improve his reading and writing skills, because the goddess of dreams barely bothered to teach him and there were holes in his knowledge. After a few lessons, he asked for something to do, so he could be useful to them. And, he was assigned with an easy task of sorting the letters. Hot reading, just dividing them into a few smaller piles so they get into the right places. It was easy, monotonous and most importantly, let him be alone in the room, so no one could be there to see if he had a sudden cramp. 

The time was slowly but inevitably running out, there were three months left, then two… Xiao was sometimes waking up at night, after a dream that it hatched early, leaving him in an emergency situation. And it will happen sooner or later… he will probably have no options but just escape. 

During this time, he learned a few things about himself too. He realized that he's pretty. He never thought of himself in these categories before the liberation, but with subtle make-up and wearing pretty clothes he was causing men to turn their heads while he was passing by. No matter if it was palace staff or vendors on the streets when Ping took him out on a walk in the city. Despite the scars, his face and body seemed to meet local standards of beauty. He didn't want to tell them that he's a man yet. It would raise suspicion over why he doesn't want to change back. Considering that he will soon escape… it's likely that they will never learn. He once heard that beauty was a weapon, but was unsure how to use it to his advantage in this situation… Well, he kind of already did? He became Guizhong's favorite, her little doll. But, of course, he didn't hate her in any way for that. She was his savior, his guardian angel in a sense. He still partially feared Morax and her presence was bringing him comfort. He was just… ugh. He was tall, muscular nas had a threatening aura to him. He was sometimes nice… and he was understanding towards Xiao. But the boy couldn't help but be afraid. Actually… Most tall men had a similar but weaker effect on him. They simply… reminded him of Osial too much. Goddess of dreams was cruel too, but his brain didn't connect as much fear to her looks and he didn't seem wary towards any women. Why was that? His wild guess was that it's just because she was quite distant and he was not seeing her very often. She was regularly sending him on missions, he was gravely exhausted after completing her requests, sometimes he was nauseous or injured but she was not mocking or hurting him any further. A rare slap on the cheek was all the physical violence he experienced from her. So Cloud Retainer, Ping or other tall women he met didn't have such an effect on him. But Morax… every time he was supposed to meet him, his knees were going weak. 

It was getting better through the weeks and months he had been there, but not completely. 

His life was rather monotonous until a few weeks until he expected the egg to begin hatching. Guizhong invited him to a girly tea party with Ping. Or rather… arguing about music tastes over tea with Ping. Long story short, Xiao was just sitting on the side, trying to disappear. Thankfully, someone peeked in and told him that Rex Lapis was looking for him. He left the room very quickly, only giving the ladies a short bow. He was so fed up with hearing the argument, that meeting Rex Lapis suddenly didn't seem so scary anymore. He obediently followed the guard all the way to the dining room. But this time, the tables were empty and Morax was just standing on the side, eating an apple. 

"My lord, these are for decoration. They might not be fresh…" The guard facepalmed. It seems like it's not the first time. 

"It's edible." 

"Yes, they are but… nevermind, Xiao had arrived. I should return to my post."

He quickly left the room. Xiao bowed down a bit. 

"I'm here, my lord. You called?" 

He chuckled warmly, which put Xiao at ease. He was definitely in a good mood today. 

"Oh, you're so happy to get out of there, huh?" 

Xiao blushed and lifted his hands in a defensive gesture. 

"I-It's not that m-my lord I j-just-" 

"Spare me. I understand. I won't tell her, hehe… but well, I didn't only call you here to get you out of there. I need you for one little thing." 

He nodded. 

"I'm all ears, my lord."

"Guizhong is leaving early tomorrow and won't be back for a few days. Important civil affairs require her attention. It happens that at the same time, I will be hosting an important trade-related meeting with another god."

"Oh, there will be paperwork to take care of?" Xiao was somewhat relieved, it seemed like another easy day at work.

"Oh, even easier. I just want you to be there and look pretty. That man will bring his new wife. I thought that I would look better if I had a pretty girl with me as well. I would feel bad asking ping or Cloud retainer… they're both in a relationship."

"But…I will not have to talk to them? I'm… still pretty awkward with strangers."

"No worries, just sit on your chair, greet them nicely and pretend you're a statue through the rest of the meeting." 

"Understood." Xiao bowed down again. "I should not have a problem with… that."

"Good. Go to your room, have a good rest and make yourself pretty. Oh, and grab some vitamins." 

He pulled out another apple from the decorative bowl and tossed it towards him. Xiao managed to catch it and uttered a silent 'thank you'. 

With an apple in his hand, he returned to his room. His internal male was suffering a bit at the thought of being a cute girly decoration of a diplomatic meeting, but it was easy work and will make him gain his new master's gratitude. And it might be important to be on good terms with him while planning his escape… 

The apple turned out to be very tasty. 

-

The next morning he asked Cloud Retainer for help with getting ready. Out of three female adepti he met so far, she had the best taste. And she was funny, she addressed herself in third person in the presence of humans. Weird, but cute in a way. 

"Do you know who is coming to meet Rex Lapis?" He asked her, when she was quickly finishing his eyeshadow. 

"Shh! Don't move your face or I will have to start over…" 

The moment she took the brush off his eyelids, Morax entered the room and said that they have to go. 

Xiao walked alongside him, trying to be graceful. He was trained in that, after he arrived the maids commented that he's behaving like 'a child from the countryside' and he decided to learn everything. But for some reason, now he was nervous. He realized that his savior's public image depends on his behavior during the meeting and he didn't consider it yesterday... It caused him to sweat a bit and slow down. 

"It's okay. They don't bite." Morax tried to  reassure him by placing a hand on his shoulder. Xiao actually got even more anxious from having his hand there. 

He entered the room with a wide table and he sat down in an elegant armchair. 

(Just look pretty, just look pretty, just look pretty) Rex Lapis sat down as well and waited for millelith to bring the guests. He looked and Xiao, Xiao looked back at him. Millelith were in the room too, two in each corner and two by the door. Awkward. 

"You… look stunning." He finally said, bringing a hand to his face to cover a slight blush. 

"P-Praise Cloud Retainer instead, my lord." 

"I definitely will…" 

Then, the door opened and they both straightened themselves. Or, to be precise, it was Morax who gracefully straightened himself, ready to receive guests. Xiao just straight up froze with his mouth open. 

What are the odds?? 

He blinked. He blinked another time. No, this time it was not imagination playing games on him. It was him. It was really him. And Osial seemed equally surprised to see Xiao there.

Chapter Text

Osial was the first one to 'recover' from the surprise. He put on an indifferent expression and headed to his seat. A woman who came with him was looking at Xiao a moment longer, probably wondering what her husband saw in him. 

"Beisht!" He hissed at her quietly and she quickly separated her eyes from Xiao and sat down beside him.

It's bad, it's very bad… He actually felt like puking, just from the amount of stress. He regretted eating breakfast today. It wouldn't be the first time he vomited from strong emotions, like when he was served fried eggs for breakfast in his first days here and got a panic attack. But now, he was in front of people who were considered important guests by his new owner. He can't vomit here, he can't… 

Morax slowly looked at them and then at Xiao. "Oh, see that you two met before?"

"Yes, you could say that." 

Xiao was surprised by how calm Osial was while responding. He didn't sound like he saw a potential threat in this encounter, which he himself definetely would. 

"That's a surprise, our little adeptus didn't mention you. " On the last few words, he gave Xiao a quick side-eye, immediately making him drenched in sweat 

"Perhaps I was not worth mentioning?" He let out a quiet chuckle. That sound was so engraved in Xiao's memory that he jumped a bit. "But yes, we know each other quite well . And I have to say, I'm surprised by seeing him here by your side. You got… quite the taste, not that I criticize. A cutie, isn't he?."

Xiao's breath hitched and Morax noticed it. Osial called him a he. He's absolutely doomed. With these two sentences, Osial completely blew his cover and it was likely he did it on purpose. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to tear up, feeling his breakfast coming up to his throat again. He can't let his personal feelings and fears affect a diplomatic meeting. He only opened his eyes when he heard a loud cough from his archon. 

"I would prefer that you not insult her. Or I'm afraid, I would have to consider your lack of respect towards my retainer while making decisions about our deal." 

Xiao blinked. That was… surprisingly passive-aggressive. 

"P-Please stop…" Beisht touched her husband's shoulder, clearly scared. 

Xiao pitied her a bit. So that was the girl of his species that his former coworkers mentioned. He could tell that she's probably younger than him, he wondered if he actually loved her, or was it another marriage out of convenience? But actually… being 'loved' by him can't be a good thing. 

"Oh, my my… I'm sorry then. Let's get back to the business talk."

He gave Xiao a menacing smile and then pulled out some documents. The meeting proceeded like the conversation did not happen, except for a few glares that Morax gave him. And Xiao interpreted them as 'you're in trouble'. 

-

Xiao left the room with relief. He was so agitated, that the moment he was out of Osial's sight, his entire body was shaking in relief. He quickly made his way to the corridor, wanting only to reach his room as fast as he could without having to face his archon. Quick, quick, quick… 

"Ekhm."

He freezed and turned back to face him. 

"M-my lord…"

"Just because I protected your dignity, doesn't mean that everything is fine."

Xiao dropped to his knees and faced the floor, a cold shiver going all the way from his head to his feet. "M-My lo-"

"DON'T 'MY LORD' ME RIGHT NOW!" He grabbed Xiao by the hair and forced him to get up. The moment Xiao got to his feet, he was pressed against the wall, Morax's hands holding his shoulders in an iron grip. "What game are you playing with us?!.."

"I-I.. T-There's no games… please…" He broke into tears, hoping that Guizhong would jump out of nowhere to save him. But he knew that she's currently somewhere far away, taking care of something important. 

"We treated you like a victim, because everything was speaking against you being involved in that. We treated you like a friend, we went easy on you because you had a miscarriage, but you are hiding information from us. Are you a part of this? How?! What other things do you know that you haven't told us?! Answer me, why?!... There was another god involved in that and you decided to cover for him…?!" 

When he stopped shouting, Xiao finally dared to open his eyes. And saw something he expected the least. Morax was crying. Why is he crying?... 

At that moment, Xiao was not good with reading people's feelings and it didn't occur to his mind yet, that It could have had something to do with personal feelings that the archon had for him. So, it only fueled his panic. 

"I didn't know!... I b-barely knew anything more about him other than his name… y-yes he helped the goddess of dreams, but he left long before you took me away… that.. that's really all!... I didn't know he's important… Please, I will take any punishment, just not… n-not anything.. in bed… " 

That certain plea seemed to be like a bucket of cold water on Morax. He released Xiao and took a few steps back. Without anything to lean on, the boy just sat down on the ground, the fear having taken all the energy to hold himself upright anymore.

Morax wiped his eyes and took a few breaths, covering his eyes with his hand. 

"... Tell me. Everything. Everything you know. From the very beginning. No hiding." 

Xiao was a shaking mess, but slowly nodded. 

"O-Of course!... I'm s-sorry… "

"Don't apologize, just speak. Who was he in the plan of harvesting dreams?" 

Xiao grabbed the edge of his dress and closed his eyes, unable to utter a word, just from how scary and saddening for him were the things he was supposed to say. 

"Xiao, speak!" 

"He… f-found a way to increase our efficiency." 

"In what way?" 

"A-Adepti eggs have miraculous effects while eaten. T-They heal wounds, help to restore stamina… harvesting dreams takes a toll. And adepti eggs can heal other adepti, but not the one they came from."

"And what was Osial's idea?"

"H-He was keeping a few of us pregnant so he could later feed the eggs to the rest… so we can live longer and work more. I-I a-ate so many of them too…"

"....Cannibalism…? So that's what happened to your previous eggs? And that man was… a kind of breeder? Why not let male human servants do it for him? It doesn't add up." 

He trembled, remembering his wide smile when he was holding Xiao spread and trembling beneath him. 

"H-He was a pervert. He loved doing that."

"Was that helping? I mean… the eating."

"Y-Yes, but…" Xiao grabbed his head and tried his best not to cry like a baby. "It was gross! It hurt so much every time…" 

"… I can imagine. I will call off the next meeting. There will be no trade with the ocean people for now." 

"H-Huh? But my lord!... Prosperity of Guili Assembly is more important than…-" 

"No. If what you say it's true, I don't want such a person as an ally. Of course, it is just your words and your perspective. There will be an investigation. We better not catch you hiding anything as it proceeds. Now… g-go, get out of my sight!... You can go to your room, go on a walk or whatever… Just let me calm down a bit…" 

He didn't ask. He didn't ask why Osial called him a he. Why? So weird…. Xiao tried to quickly leave the corridor, but before he could do that, he kneeled down and emptied his stomach on the floor. After he was done vomiting, he looked back, but his archon wasn't there anymore. There was only a millelith guard, who ran up to him and offered him a tissue. 

-

Through the next week, Xiao didn't want to spend too much time with Morax when Guizhong was not there to control the atmosphere. He apologized for his outburst more than once, but… Xiao couldn't help but feel uneasy. So, when he was not working, he developed a habit of strolling around the building. Since he was allowed to wander around the place now, he made sure to see everything there was to see, except for the private rooms and the backyard where the training grounds for adepti and millelith were located. Not only was he a bit bored sitting in his room, but walking somehow helped to soothe the pain. In his old home, he couldn't do that. He had to stay in his room all the time he was not on field, which had no fancy furniture, so seeing pretty expensive things was causing pleasant tingles in his head. When he was in a place that looked like some kind of exhibition hall, Guizhong caught him staring at a beautiful golden stand with something that looked like a fancy spear, or an overcomplicated trident on it. Its head was made not of steel, but something that looked like green gemstones polished to form a sharp blade. Its handle was painted green to match their color. 

"Do you like it?" She asked, amused by Xiao's fascination with this object

He jumped a bit, not expecting to meet her. But actually… She was supposed to return today. He forgot.

 "O-Oh! You returned. Yes, did it belong to some ancient warrior? Or is it just a decoration? It looks a bit too fancy to risk damaging it in battle in my opinion…" 

"Well, according to Rex Lapis, it can be used in a fight, actually it should be pretty powerful. But no one used it yet, except for a few test runs. A few centuries ago, he had… a creative phase." She giggled. "He made all kinds of stuff! Including a big stone dragon. You will probably meet him sooner or later." 

"Oh. He's talented… not like me."

"You still have time to discover what you're good at, Xiao. I sometimes see you in these corridors looking at all kinds of weapons. Are you perhaps interested in learning how to fight?"

Xiao looked at her with surprise. Yes, that was right, this part of the building was a good shortcut to the place he was sorting letters in. And while it was his first time seeing this particular weapon, he often was stopping by other ones in neighboring halls. 

"....Can I?" 

"Of course! Why not? Even I know the basics of self-defense. Maybe knowing how to protect yourself will put you at ease?" 

He really got excited for a moment, but then… he remembered that there is no way to do it anytime soon. 

"I'm sorry my lady…I'm flattered, but my body is in a bad shape…" 

"I know… hm…" She scratched her chin, and then smiled widely. "Oh, I know! You can watch the training for now. You will join when you feel like it." 

His eyes opened wide at the suggestion. Yeah… yeah! It's a way he can learn something without the risk of damaging himself or the egg. The excitement returned and he realized that's the first time he felt like that. So that's how it feels… to have your dream come true. 

"I will ask Morax to take you there. He… went a bit hard on you, huh?..." 

Oh, so she heard. 

"It's okay.. I.. I deserved it." He looked down. 

"If you say so… so, see you. I need to catch up with the paperwork, just be ready tomorrow."

-

So the next day after lunch, Rex Lapis led him on the training grounds located just outside, in the backyard. Xiao was so happy, he didn't expect that it would be so fast. And happiness is not something he feels often. 

On the little field covered in sand, a young adeptus was beating a poor wooden contraption with a big heavy-looking club. Xiao knew he wasn't human from the first glance. That guy had four arms. 

"Where is Menogias?" Rex Lapis asked with a bit of annoyment in his voice. "I hope he's not slacking off again." 

The guy stopped what he was doing and bowed respectfully. 

"Not this time, my lord. He just went to bring us some water."

"That's Bosacius." Morax bent down so he could talk near Xiao's ear. "He's one of two adepti in training right now." 

"And the other one?"

"Oh, I hope he will soon honor us with his presence." 

And he did, nearly dropping the drinks, seeing the two. 

"M-my lord! You came…" 

"I see you're back. Back on the field, quick!" 

Xiao watched with amusement as the archon gracefully clapped his hands, and the second later, the guy was already back on the stand with his training sword back in his hand, blushing with embarrassment from being caught. 

"Before you two return to the training, I need to introduce someone to you." Their eyes immediately landed on Xiao, making him feel like hiding. "That's Xiao. She will be watching your training from now on. Be nice to her." 

They nodded, with their eyes still locked on him. And their looks were unsettlingly similar to ones that Osial used to give him in the past. Is it just something that pretty girls deal with every day?... 

"Pleased to meet you." He whispered with a small voice and sat down on the bench. 

"Make sure that Menogias is not sneaking out to draw again." Rex Lapis whispered to him with a chuckle and then left the site, leaving the three together. 

They stared at each other in silence. 

Holy shit, that's awkward. 

"You're not going in?" Menogias finally dared to ask. 

Xiao shook his head. 

"I can't. I'm still in recovery." Another awkward silence. Why do they have to be so hard??... "You two shouldn't be… doing something right now?" 

They laughed nervously, drank the water that Menogias brought earlier and collected their weapons. 

"You know…" Bosacius gulped. "We… haven't had a girl here for decades…" 

"Yes, I can tell." Xiao crossed his legs and pridefully looked away, getting uncomfortable with their looks. 

Now, he honestly doubted they would get along after such a first impression. But… who knows? After an hour or two, the training was interrupted again by the arrival of another person. Xiao didn't know who he was or what to do, so he just stared. The man was big. Even bigger than Bosacius, which was saying a lot. He was also very bulky and had dragon horns, but much more massive and less shiny than the ones Rex Lapis was sometimes showing on his head. Could he be the stone dragon that Guizhong mentioned? He was pretty sure that he already saw him one or two times in the palace, but it was the first opportunity he had to take a closer look. 

The two reacted very positively to his arrival. 

"Lord Retuo!" 

Menogias put his weapon aside and ran up to him, Bosacius quickly followed. The man gave them both a strong bear hug, wrapping each of his strong arms around them, laughing happily. He had such a warm and deep voice. 

"How are my favorite boys doing? Any progress?"

Xiao stared into his knees, feeling another painful cramp. Lately, they have become more frequent, but also weaker. Whatever that means for his condition. When he was distracted with trying to not tear up, others finished talking. He only stopped staring into his knees and looked up, when a big shadow fell over him. 

"Hi there. Xiao?" 

He nodded.

"Good. I'm Azhdaha, I'm currently in charge of training young adepti. My boys said that you won't be training for now. Health issues?"

He nodded again. 

"Oh don't be shy, you can speak to me." 

"Y-Yes, I'm sorry."

"That's more like it." He gave Xiao a reassuring smile "Now, even if you don't train, we can still take time to pick you a weapon. Do you have any experience with weapons?" 

Xiao reached into his memory, trying to remember the times when he harvested dreams. It might seem silly, but he actually had trouble remembering it, he was always drugged with something while going there so he won't act on his own will so easily. 

"... I think I never used an actual weapon. Just magical objects. My old master… she did not feel safe giving me something that I could use to harm myself."

"... Is that so…" Azhdaha got lost in thought for a moment and then casually grabbed Xiao by his chest (his hands were big enough for his fingers to touch behind his back) and lifted him up in the air. 

"W-What the… put me down, put me down!" Xiao squeezed his legs tightly shut and squirmed, trying to get free. 

"Chill, chill. Here." He put the horrified boy back on the ground and pet him on the head. Or, more like hit the top of his head with his open hand a couple of times, like he was completely unaware of his strength. "You're very thin and light. You have no experience with weapons… I think you will get the best results if you use a catalyst." 

Xiao thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. 

"That's for weak girls! Can't I have an actual weapon…? Please?" 

Azhdaha laughed. 

"Oh? Okay, I like your determination. What about…. a bow? I don't see you carrying a big sword or a club."

"I will improve… Just give me some time… I will get muscles and all…" 

"... Is that so? Then… What about a polearm? It's rather light. And it's an elegant weapon. Perfect for a fine lady like you. How do you like it?" 

Xiao remembered the beautiful spear displayed in the palace and… the idea sat very right with him. 

"... Yes, that's the one. Thank you, lord R… Reu…"

"Retuo, but that's just my official title. You can call me by name if you want."

"What about them?"

"They do it out of sentiment. So, since you're a part of my happy fighting club from now on… what about we discuss your training over a glass of fine wine?" 

"Is the wine really necessary? Shouldn't you… be sober when your decisions concern someone's future…?" Xiao asked with a small voice, feeling somewhat insecure in this situation. 

"Hey!" Menogias shouted in the background, nudging Bosacius's side with his elbow. "Look at him, just arrived and he's already stealing our girlie." 

Xiao blushed furiously and looked at him, then at Bosacius and Azhdaha who looked back at them with a scolding expression. For a moment, he panicked. But then… a wave of anger came over him, ending up with him deciding to be brave and speak back for once. He got up from the bench. 

"Thank you for your warm welcome. But I'm not your 'girlie'. I came here to get some lessons, not to find a husband and I'm not going to get myself into any potentially awkward situation. Hmph!" 

Xiao ran away from the training grounds without waiting for their reaction and quickly returned to his room. Well… that's probably it when it comes to his dreams of becoming a warrior. Is it… something that women experience often? 

He felt so frustrated. They seemed nice at the beginning! He pushed his face into his pillow and screamed into it. He had a sad assumption that he would have to run away to let his hatchling live. But by watching these training sessions, he could at least get some basics and defend himself while living on his own. And now… No way he will show himself in that place again. There is absolutely no way.

Actually…. 

A sudden wave of anger went through him and made him dig his nails into the pillow. It's all this stupid body's fault. All the awkwardness between them was because they see him as some kind of maiden in need of a knight. As a meal. Because, as Bosacius said, they haven't had a girl there in decades and their stupid young hormone-enraged brains can't keep a normal attitude when there is a pair of tits nearby. 

Xiao dug through his clothes that he got from Guizhong to find anything that is not girly. Finally, he found a black suit that she probably intended him to sleep in, but it wasn't obviously looking like sleepwear, so it will do. He quickly left the room and made his way to Guizhong's, peeking into the medical supply room on the way. She was not there. Good. He would be more comfortable doing it in his own quarters, but Guizhong happened to have a big mirror that he could easily see his entire body in. 

He discarded the dress on the floor and looked at his naked body in the mirror. The first eyesore was his hair. He found a knife on Guizhong's desk, it was probably meant for her little mechanic projects, but it will do just good. He quickly tied his hair into a ponytail and cut it off right below the hairband. It fell on the floor in a messy pile. He put the hairband back where he took it from and looked into the mirror again. 

Tits. 

There comes his little visit in the infirmary. From his bag, Xiao pulled out a little roll of elastic bandage and wrapped it evenly around his chest. It was not big, so after two layers, it completely disappeared. He pulled the new clothes over himself, leaving only panties, just for comfort. His shoes were elegant, too elegant. 

He took them off and instead used a remaining roll of bandage to wrap his feet. That was the way he treated them his entire life before he got here and it brought him a weird sense of comfort. The last thing was to wash his make-up off, but he decided to leave the red eyeliner on. It looked good. After Xiao was happy with what he saw in the mirror, he realized just how much of a mess he made. Woops… He peaked out of the room and called a random maid who was passing by to help him clean. 

Guizhong nearly choked on her smoked salmon when Xiao showed up at the dinner table. Worth it. They promised to take care of him, so they gotta take care of his 'tomboy phase' too. 

Chapter Text

Guizhong being fussy over his looks was even cute, but Xiao decided to get out of her sight a bit. Morax had similar thoughts, so the next day he showed up in his room after lunch. Xiao panicked a bit, he just finished his little ritual of washing the egg and trying to rub some pain-killing lotion into his crotch and he certainly didn't expect the visit. And in addition, pushing it back in was getting increasingly more painful lately… 

"Azhdaha asked me to pass the apologies on behalf of the boys." 

Oh. 

"Oh… it's okay. They probably didn't mean anything bad."

"Yeah, they're just a bit older than you. You have to forgive them, they can be very immature. But that's not the main goal of my visit. I have a free day and Cloud Retainer invited me to her residence in the mountains. Wanna go with us?"

If it was with Morax alone, he would have probably found an excuse to back out. But he liked Cloud Retainer and the feeling was mutual.

"S-Sounds nice… Of course, my lord…"

-

The three of them departed just when the rest of the residents were preparing for dinner. He got an ambiguous warning from Morax to not stray too far from them, because there are means of making sure that he doesn't go missing in his poor health. Long story short: he's on an invisible leash. But he kind of stopped worrying about it once their carriage left the city. The mountains towered over his head, so big, huge. They were much bigger than he imagined. The leaves were making a soothing sound when caressed by the wind and sometimes it would make one of them fall off, creating a pretty yellow carpet on the road. Xiao got weirdly emotional, he nearly teared up. So beautiful. These were things that he only watched on the paintings until now. The places he was harvesting human drams in were located on the plains in the east and he could only see the mountains on Jueyun Karst in the far distance, if the sky was clear. 

"Are you enjoying the ride?" Cloud Retainer asked him and he nodded enthusiastically. 

The carriage couldn't take them all the way up, but Xiao did not complain. Walking up the mountain was fun, and movement helped to relieve the pain. He didn't get any cramp while going up, not a single one. Or maybe it was just fresh mountain air? 

When Rex Lapis said 'residence' Xiao expected to see a house. But on the top of the mountain, all he found was a lake, stone table and an entrance to a cave. He opened his mouth to ask about it, he didn't yet know about the sub-space creation. But, he was interrupted. 

"Auntie!" 

A small girl with blue hair ran up to Cloud Retainer and hugged her legs. Xiao was surprised, it was his first time he saw a child of his species. She had big eyes and two black horns that looked ridiculously big on her head. He assumed that adepti with horns grow them in their adult size and then grow up to match them. 

"Hi there, Ganyu." She picked the girl up. "How are you outside? You were supposed to wait for me in the abode." 

"Boring!" 

Morax chuckled and Xiao turned his eyes on him. He was smiling. Could it be that he likes kids? The thought made his cheeks warm up. 

"Xiao?"

"Y-Yes, Cloud Retainer?" He quickly got his eyes off him and turned towards her. 

"Do you want to spread your wings for a moment? It's a good place to do that" 

Xiao gasped and then looked back at his master. He nodded, so Xiao looked back at her. Is it safe? Well…If he transforms into a female bird, the egg should not take harm. 

"O-Of course…" 

"Auntie, who is that?" The little girl asked, glaring at him. 

"That's Xiao. A friend." 

"A new uncle?"

Morax coughed. " Aunt , Ganyu." 

"Ooh, I'm sorry…"

Xiao wished he could correct them, but well…

Cloud Retainer put Ganyu down and a bright blue light enveloped her for a moment. A moment later, he was looking at a big white crane. Suddenly feeling a bit giddy, Xiao did the same. Of course his insides hurt during the process, but luckily he had  enough feathers to cover his groin. He was not sure how it looked, he didn't use his bird form in so many years. 

But… It felt so good. The sensation of the evening wind blowing through his feathers was just divine... He noticed that they were different from when he used this body the last time. In the past, his feathers were green, covered in remnants of baby fluff. Now, over the layer of green, his feathers had a metallic golden color.

"She surely is a diamond in the rough, huh?" Cloud Retainer whispered behind his back. 

Xiao looked back at them, embarrassed about the comment. 

"H-Hey!" 

"You need to learn to take praises…" Morax seemed flustered again, his hand once again tired to cover the blush on his face. Just what is with his behavior lately? 

"Nevermind, let's go. Ganyu!" 

Cloud Retainer kneeled down so Ganyu could get on her back and tightly grab her by the neck and then she ran towards the edge of the cliff. She spread her wings and a second later, she was already flying. Xiao swallowed, his wings itched. He wanted to take off as well. He looked up at her with jealousy. 

"Xiao, you too." Morax placed a hand on his wing and pointed at the cliff with his chin. Before, he seemed huge to Xiao. Just a bit smaller than Bosacius and Azhdaha, always towering over him and others like a mountain. But now, the man seemed so small compared to a giant bird next to him. "Just don't stray too far away from her." 

"But… no one ever taught me to fly…"

"Jump!"

Xiao looked up at Cloud Retainer who was making slow circles above the two. 

"H-Huh…" 

"Jump, your body will figure it out."

"Juuump!" Ganyu cheered as well. 

Okay, now or never! 

He tried to run towards the edge to create momentum, but he was not used to bird legs and fell. But, he can't give up. He got up and made a a sloppy jump towards the edge and then used the rock to push himself away from the cliff. 

For a short moment, he thought he's going to die. He really did. No matter how desperately he tried flapping his wings, he just couldn't stabilize himself in any way and was falling down like a rock. But then, he closed his eyes and listened to his body. He stopped pointlessly flapping them and spread them as much as he could. Thanks heavens it worked and after a moment of adjusting, he was finally gliding forward. Still a bit sloppily, but not falling anymore. A small flap of his wings, and he managed to go up. He eventually reached the place he jumped down from, Rex Lapis smiled and bowed his head a bit in appreciation of Xiao's achievement. Ganyu released Cloud Retainer's neck and clapped with her little hands. 

"Ganyu, don't! You might fall. Xiao, are you okay? You're not feeling like fainting? No nausea?" 

"No! It's okay."

"Then, follow me." 

So, Xiao followed her. The flight was long. They didn't make that much distance, but they certainly made a few loops so he could appreciate the scenery. And he did, the view was breathtaking and combined with the sensation of wind blowing through his feathers it was literally the best experience in his life. He had some problems catching up at first. Cloud Retainer was smaller than him, but faster and could change directions quickly, while he needed space and time to do so. He will train and he should get better at it. At first, he was anxious that the egg would try to slip out, but his bird's form seemed better in keeping his birth canal shut, there simply were muscles he could clench that didn't work as well in a human body. 

"We will land here" She warned him and peaked down towards one of the mountain peaks that were sticking out from beneath the sea of clouds. 

Xiao realized that he didn't know how to land. He tried to replicate Cloud Retainer's moves and gently approach the ground on an diagonal angle and slowly lower himself on the grass. It was going well, but he panicked and tried to retreat upwards about a meter above ground; he simply realized that he approached too fast. But, it was too late. The other adeptus let out a quiet hiss of pity when she saw him crush into the ground head-first. 

"Oooow…" Ganyu covered her face.

"Don't be rude Ganyu, It was her first time."

Xiao turned back into a human girl and slowly got up, trying to stop his head from spinning. He got nauseous for a moment, but managed not to vomit. 

"Better?" She made sure and turned into a human as well. 

"Y-Yes… but… wait." he looked around. "That's not the mountain we started from…" 

"Yes, my partner lives here. I wanted to say hi, but he doesn't seem to be home." 

"So, we're going back?"

"Just a moment. It was your first time, you need to rest." 

They sat down and looked at the sunset above the mountains. Beautiful… 

"Rex Lapis won't be mad if we don't return fast? He's there alone…" 

"Don't worry. It's an opportunity for him to reunite with his element. He probably turned into a dragon and is now rolling around like a kitten." She chuckled and gave Ganyu a gentle head pat. The girl was drowsy and quickly fell asleep in her lap after they landed. "He's been so lively..." 

"Lively?"

"Yes, through the last few weeks she's behaving like a teenage girl in love. He has worse mood swings than Ganyu's mom when she was pregnant." 

Xiao shook his head. "Him? No way."

"Really. He's not the same in official situations and with friends. He's not like Guizhong." 

"If it's something that he said or showed to his close friends, then you shouldn't be saying it to me."

He remembered Ping saying that she loves gossip. Yeah, that seemed about right. 

"I'm saying it to you, because I'm pretty positive that the person he's in love with is you." 

He froze for a moment and looked at her like she just said the dumbest thing possible. 

"D-Don't be ridiculous! We knew each other for only two months… two and a half. There's no way. And even if it was somewhat true… no no no, just no!" He shook his head. "I don't want to be anyone's lover… never ever again…" 

She sighed and only gave him a short, respectful nod in response. Xiao stared into the horizon and orange clouds in the distance, feeling cold sweat run down his back. 

If Rex Lapis really desires him… then his nightmare might start all over again sooner than he thought. Yes a god, he won't take a no…The silence was a bit awkward and he wanted to stop thinking about it, so he decided to change the topic. 

"S-She's fast asleep… so cute."

"She sleeps much more than an average adeptus her age, because she has human blood in her. I sometimes find it hard to adjust to her sleeping schedule."

"So, you're raising her?" 

"Yes, she lost her parents." 

"That's very nice of you… Can I ask… one more thing?" Seeing a nod, he continued; "Why are you speaking about yourself in the third person while with humans?" 

"It's an ancient custom of the adepti. I don't understand why it's not upheld, even by Rex Lapis himself. Hmph!" 

Xiao chuckled and she narrowed her eyes. 

"Are you mocking me?"

"Noooo." 

She pinched his cheek and then handed sleeping Ganyu over to him. 

"I will go to Mountain Shaper's abode and leave him a letter. Watch over her for a moment." 

"Sure thing." 

-

They woke Ganyu up. She was fussy and sleepy, but obediently climbed her aunt's back and they headed back to where they separated with Morax. It was already dark, but his bird eyes seemed to work surprisingly well in the dark. He could faintly remember that he used to change into a bird when he was small, before his abilities were sealed. He was doing that, because he was afraid of the dark. And in his bird form, he could clearly see every dark corner of his little room. 

This time, his landing was sloppy but successful. Cloud Retainer carried Ganyu back into the cave so she could sleep and then returned with a bottle of wine and a few glasses. With a snap of her fingers, a few glowing bubbles appeared over a small table so it was not dark. 

"C-Can I not drink?" Xiao asked quietly, taking a seat by the table. 

"You can, but I think you should at least try. Come on, don't be shy…." Morax smiled and handed him a glass. "Just a sip." 

Xiao took one gulp and then started coughing, it was so bitter! And it stung his throat. It reminded him of that weird potion that the goddess of dreams used to give him while his body was giving up. It was warming him up and soothing the pain, but leaving him dizzy at the same time. 

"... Well, maybe you still need to grow up to that taste." Morax took the glass back and quickly finished it. 

They spent a few hours there. And with every glass, the two adepti seemed more… playful. 

"Xiaooo…" Morax suddenly grabbed him and pulled him close. "You look so pretty tonight! That new appearance suits you." 

"M-My lord, let go of me…" He whispered with panic.

"So good that I took you out of there… you deserve so much more…"

"Leave her alone, you're drunk." Cloud Retainer mumbled out, but seemed just as drunk as him. 

"No more than you are!" 

"But I don't assault little girls, you old fossil!" 

Aaaand they started a typical drunkard argument. Xiao somehow managed to slip away from the table unnoticed and have a little nap below a tree. 

When he and Morax returned to the Guili Assembly, the sun was already about to rise. His archon had a little hangover and immediately headed to his room to sleep, so Xiao took this time to wash himself thoroughly, change into some fresh clothes and eat a few cookies that a maid left in his room. He found a few new non-girly pieces of clothing in his wardrobe. Phew… his appearance choices were respected at least. 

While dressing up, he felt another cramp, it was surprisingly strong. Well… he had nearly none of these yesterday and his body probably wants to catch up. 

But… should he pull the egg out now? Yes, definitely. He didn't have an opportunity to wash it yesterday evening for obvious reasons. If he doesn't wipe the mucus off, his infection will get worse. Adepti have immune systems much stronger than humans, but it won't last forever. But at the same time, the egg was getting harder and harder to push back inside lately and using force might damage it… He was healing and his birth canal needed to close. 

Well… better now than later. After making sure the door was locked, Xiao pulled his underwear off and gently strained. After a bit of resistance, the egg fell down on the soft towel. He picked it through the cloth and immediately pressed it against his ear. After a moment of silence, he heard something scratching against the shell from within. Phew…

"Hi…" 

Talking to it whenever there was an opportunity paid off. The hatchling recognized his voice and a couple more scratches could be heard, making his heart melt. The truth is, he didn't know how it feels to love someone until the day he heard this little thing move for the first time. He pressed the delicate shell against his cheek and sighed. 

"Don't worry… I will get us out of here. Or… or at least you . I promise..."

He pulled it away from his face and started wiping the yellowy goo off, then turned it around to wipe the other side, but suddenly stopped and opened his eyes wide. 

A…crack. There was a crack. 

Chapter Text

The egg was cracked. 

Xiao looked at it with his eyes wide open, panic burning in his chest. It shouldn't be now. There should be at least a week more. And the egg was cracked on the side, if the hatchling was trying to come out, the crack would be on one of the narrow ends. Not on the side. His… his birth canal must have crushed it. It's getting too tight to safely contain it anymore. That's the moment it ends. 

There was no liquid leaking from the crack. As much as he learned about adepti eggs from Guizhong's library, that should mean that while pressure broke the shell, the membrane that protects the hatchling was not severed. It should be safe for now, but it doesn't change the fact that he can't put it inside anymore. 

Xiao quickly changed into one of Guizhong's dresses, wrapped the egg in a soft scarf that she once gave him and tied it to his leg below the skirt. He added another layer of fabric over it for safety and just ran. Through the corridors, back door, training grounds. Some millelith were using it, he made sure to sneak by without being noticed and then ran up narrow wooden stairs on the walls. He couldn't jump off on the other side. He could not even jump over the railing, something was stopping him, like his body was going frozen the moment his brain conjured an order to his limbs. 

It must be just a robbery prevention measure… but he surely will be able to leave through the gate, right? He already did a few times, when going to see the city with Ping. Xiao ran back down the stairs and then by the training grounds once again. He could already see a little building that towered over the gate. He didn't care where he would go from there. But he has to leave this place now . 

Before reaching his destination, he took a moment to think about all the people who were nice to him in this place. Goodbye… 

He slowed down and casually passed through, as casually as he could make himself look, to not alert the guards. He's outside! He can now… 

… the very moment he reached his freedom, ready to disappear in the busy streets of Guili, his forehead burned. The purple diamond started glowing, blinding him a bit. 

"Huh…" 

He tried to keep running, but his legs started growing heavy, his body numb. He took a few steps back and they returned to normal. It was… exactly the same spell that his previous master used to make sure he wouldn't escape…

"Wait, young miss!"

He gasped and looked behind him, to see two guards approaching him. Panic was apparent on his face. 

"I… I j-just…" 

"Calm down. Rex Lapis doesn't want you to be leaving alone, you're still not fully recovered. Please, let us lead you back to your room."

Xiao didn't even resist. He knew that he couldn't escape this spell. He tried multiple times in his previous home. His mind was racing while he was going back to his room, escorted by them. What other options does he have? He can hide an egg, but not a hatchling. It won't be quiet if Xiao asks it to. It will require constant care. He can't possibly… what to do…?

He has absolutely no options left. No, he has one. One he considered an emergency measure. The blockade is only on him. Not on the hatchling. 

"Excuse me…Do I have to go to my room?" He asked quietly. The two soldiers looked at him. 

"Well… you are allowed to walk around the building. Is there something you need? If you tried to sneak out to do some shopping or just wanted to see something in the city, we are pretty positive it can be arranged." 

"I… I just want to see Cloud Retainer."

They looked at each other and then back at Xiao. 

"She just left. But we can tell someone to inform you when she's available." 

"Thank you. Let's… go to my room then."

-

Xiao could barely breathe when she opened the door to the small office that Cloud Retainer was occupying. She looked at him surprised and moved aside to let him in. 

"You look sad, is there trouble?" She asked, pointing at the couch. Xiao sat down and shut his mouth into a tight line to not cry. So much depended on this conversation that he found it hard to breathe. And… He didn't want to part ways… 

"I need… to ask you a favor." He said in a small voice. "It's… s-something very personal and important to me…" 

"Of course sweetie. Anything for you." She gave him one of her respectful nods. 

"I… Need you to find someone experienced with adepti eggs. And someone who would be willing to take care of one. Or you can take it for yourself if you want, you're good at these things..."

She stared at Xiao with wide eyes for a moment and then shook her head. 

"Wha- wait wait wait. What exactly is the… favor??"

Anxious as he had never been in his life, Xiao untied the scarf and took the egg into his hand. He made sure with his thumb that the crack didn't expand, but it seemed fine and was not leaking. Phew…

He pulled it out from under his dress and handed it to her. 

"Please… you have to save it! I beg of you, take it out of here… there is nothing else I want! Just make sure it survives. I know I can trust you… you're the only person here I trust completely, so please…" 

"... It's yours?" 

He nodded. 

"Did you… did you just lay it? W-Who did it to you?... Did someone here force himself on you?" 

"N-No, it was long ago… before I was brought here."

"...Wait… You said you had a miscarriage." 

Her voice was not angry. Just full of confusion and disbelief.

"...I lied to them to avoid an examination. I'm s-sorry…" he looked away. "I… I was hiding it. It should hatch soon. P-Please, take it somewhere safe. That's all I want. I want it to have a happy childhood I never had."

She took it into her hand and gently examined it. 

"It's cracked…" 

"Only a bit. It will be fine…"

"I'm really sorry if It's too personal… Why are you giving it away? If it's so precious to you…" 

"I can't risk… If Rex Lapis and Guizhong find out about it… I have no idea what Rex Lapis would do… Please, don't tell him. Just… take it somewhere safe."

She sighed and looked down. 

"It's not easy to win your trust, huh… Okay, I will talk to him and Guizhong myself. Don't worry, you won't be hurt. Neither of you. Not on my watch."

Xiao remembered the moment when he was caught unintentionally concealing information. The hand on his hair, the rage in the two golden eyes. The memory filled him with even more panic. 

"L-Let's not anger him! Please… let's just… play it safe… can't you just find someone reliable to raise it…?" 

"Xiao, you came here because you trust me, right?" She put it back in his lap and grabbed Xiao by his shoulders. 

"Y-... Yes…" 

"So trust me another time. I will take it and go talk to that old fossil. He's much nicer than he seems, I'm sure we will reach an agreement."

"No! Don't…" 

"Okay then, calm down. It stays with you. Here, you see? I'm leaving it with you, warm and safe. Watch over it while we talk. If you're so afraid of his reaction… I will discuss it with Guizhong first. Don't move from here."

It was the most agonizing 10 minutes in Xiao's life. He kind of wanted to escape. He can't leave anywhere beyond the walls, but he can hide somewhere here, right…? No… that's only delaying the inevitable. After some time, the door fell open and Morax stormed into the room with panic on his face. Well… that's what Xiao gets for being honest. He looked away and closed his eyes shut, expecting all the worst. He was so afraid that he didn't even notice when Guizhong came too. She watched the scene from the door with a sorrowful expression.

"Xiao!... " He dropped on his knees and held Xiao's hands. "Why didn't you tell me?... Why didn't you tell anyone… you've really been hiding it for three months?!..." 

The boy didn't know what to do with himself anymore, so he just broke down crying. 

"H-Hey… Calm down, I'm sorry I shouted. Listen… you should have told me, I would have helped you… heavens… why didn't you tell me….?"

He couldn't respond, paralyzed by emotions. Seeing that, Morax just sighed and pulled him into a tight hug. 

"... You didn't say anything because I made you afraid of us huh?.. That's my fault then… Shh…You can cry. It's okay." 

Xiao just hid his face in his shoulder and cried loudly, trying to let out emotions that he was suppressing for the past months. 

-

He got a check up, he was given stronger medicine that immediately brought relief to his sore crotch. He refused to let go of the egg, even for a moment, so they let him hold it while a midwife was tending to his infection. The memories of what happened to his previous clutches were too painful. Then, Guizhong moved him into a better bedroom and even gave him some baby products, together with a pyro-infused blanket that could help him keep it warm.

Xiao was truly calm and happy for the first time in his entire life. And he finally understood that the two gods had no ulterior motives. They just wanted to help him. He should have told them weeks earlier, and his paranoid behavior made him hurt the egg… Even that blockade on the gate might actually have been a safety measure from the very beginning, not a way of enslaving him. 

The feeling of safety was like heaven. He didn't have to work more than he could handle, didn't have to beg to be given food, had a comfortable bed instead of a messy den made of old stinky blankets. 

The first thing he did after moving into the room was building a nest. Guizhong asked him if he wanted to be given a crib, but he refused. He's a bird and there has to be a nest. 

But…. It was surprisingly hard. He had to stop a few times while doing that, when his memories were surfacing too much and he had to simmer down. It was certainly not his first time building a nest, it was one of his strongest and most important instincts as a bird adeptus. But he wasn't doing that in a proper clean room, from materials provided to him by his new masters, in peace and warmth. It was more of rearranging the filthy sheets of his bedding into a makeshift ugly pile with a hole in the middle. He was usually doing it while in labor, so the constant cramps and a heavy egg-filled belly were not helping it. Egg laying used to be a hell in the past, his body was too small, his waist was not developed enough so it was a brutal and painful process that would sometimes end with one or two of them cracking and injuring his birth canal, making the mess of his nest in addition. There was also the grim reality of what will happen once he finally manages to pass the eggs. Nearly always, someone was present in the room with him, supervising the process. It was usually the goddess of dreams. These were one of few occasions when he experienced some kind of warmth from her - she didn't want him to die, she needed him. And while she didn't care what Osial was doing with him, she didn't like the fact that it was resulting in pregnancies that could weaken his body. Multiple pregnancies. 

She was aware of and approved his plan of feeding adepti eggs to the workers, but even she knew that he was far too young. Xiao was sure they argued about it at least a few times. So, when he was struggling, she was sometimes letting him lean against her or urging him to breathe when he forgot. Even going as far as helping him scoop out the cracked shells, because her fingers were much longer. 

But that wasn't making her much less evil, considering that she planned to work him to his death and tending to his pain was only a way to ensure his survival. 

When the nest was finally ready, Xiao put the warming blanket near the edge of it and gently wrapped it around the egg, taking one more look at the crack. Luckily, it didn't expand. Content and calmed, he decided to lay down, taking the rest of the space. It could hatch any day now, so he should sleep while he can. 

-

During the hatching process, Xiao experienced a similar kind of emotion to the one that he felt after laying eggs, even if it was pushed aside by all stress and desperation back then. Because even in these times, all these postnatal hormones were present - so they were now, getting him ridiculously emotional. He slowly watched two small eyelids open to reveal two shiny eyes of a small female bird. They were just like the rest of her - in a beautiful blue color. Deeper shade than Osial's but similar. She looked mostly like a bird, but had some foreign traits, like small horns. What a beauty… if only she didn't remind him of her father that much…. 

But no matter who she resembled more, Xiao took her into his arms the moment the tiny thing crawled out and started cleaning her from all the insides of the egg, and the moment she looked at him for the first time was equally unreal and miraculous.

"Hi there?" He asked, hoping she would recognize his voice. She did, the two tiny blue orbs immediately turned towards him and she flapped her wings. She was still really sloppy in her movements, but it clearly expressed happiness. "Yes, it's me…your daddy." 

Xiao was in so much awe, that he was barely leaving the room, even for his basic needs. A few people wanted to visit them, but he kindly declined. The first days were just… too intimate to share. Two weeks passed before he let a human nanny attend to her and accepted his archon's invitation to his apartment. 

"Don't think about her now, she's asleep. You still need to take care of yourself too."

"I'm okay." Xiao looked away. It was his first time there. The room was just as elegant as its owner, the dark wood of the furniture was covered in subtle details made with some kind of golden paint. It was almost overwhelming. 

"How did you name her?"

"I had a few ideas, but most of them were male names… I finally settled on Bonanus." 

"Well, sounds pretty noble. I'm sure she will grow up to be a beauty like her mom. Well, now… How is your… problem ? But be honest with me this time."

Xiao sighed, slightly embarrassed. 

"Healing. It's getting better every day. That medicine truly saved me… thank you, my lord."

"You should thank Streetward Rambler for that. She was the one treating you, not me."

Xiao looked into the expensive padding of the couch, wondering how to thank her. Morax probably mistaken his wondering for a moment of melancholy, because he wrapped one of his arms around him and pulled him close. 

"You've been through a lot, but I want you to have a decent life. You're a young beautiful woman with her whole life ahead."

"...You saved me and gave me a new identity. I will stay here and serve you."

"You…don't have to, Xiao. You're free."

"I just want to, I'm in debt. But there's another thing…" Xiao blushed and looked away, somewhat anxious. It has to be said sooner or later. He delayed long enough. 

"Huh? What is that?" Morax caressed his shoulder with his thumb, sending a shiver down Xiao's spine. 

"I'm not…. a woman."

He titled his head with a curious expression. 

"You're… not?" 

"No, I was forced to shapeshift. I kept my body like that so I can take care of Bonanus. But… I don't want that anymore. I want to be how I was. I mean… after I have completely healed my genitalia. 

"Oooh… my apologies Xiao." Morax chuckled and brought his hand to his forehead.

"Huh? What for?"

"I… realized that you were originally male, I realized the moment I took your brand off."

Oh, so that's why he zoned out back then. Xiao turned his head to face him, his eyes opened wide. 

"H-Huh?? And you… didn't say anything? Didn't ask? Didn't tell Guizhong when she was dressing me up like a doll?" 

"Don't be mad at me Xiao… I just thought that you're a transsexual. I did not want to upset you by asking about these things."

".... EEEEEH?? Like I had time for these things while literally fighting for my survival!" 

"Okay, sorry… I didn't mean bad, that was just ignorance on my part."

"...It's okay. You couldn't have known. We can move on from that. " 

"Good. I don't really care if you're a man. You're just a beautiful individual, both inside and outside." 

"S-Stop flattering me like that, my lord." Xiao blushed furiously and once again tried to cover his face. 

He heard a warm, low chuckle and got pulled closer to his archon's body. 

"Don't be so shy, you deserved it. You risked your own health to save her, it's truly a heroic deed." 

Xiao freezed when one of Morax' big hands traveled up his thighs and the grip on his shoulder tightened a bit. 

"You're a good boy Xiao. And a good mama. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Now… I think you deserve a reward… " 

Cold panic ran over him as he looked at the big golden hand caressing his leg. Leg that had scars in the place that Osial dug his nails in so so many times. The hand slowly but persistently creeped up towards the edge of his shorts. Suddenly, by a cruel twist of his imagination, the muscular palm didn't look golden anymore. It looked blue . 

"N-No… P-Please no!" He yelled, but didn't dare to move. Not in the iron grip of his archon. But, Morax immediately released him and moved away to give him space with a guilty expression on his face. 

"Oh… I'm sorry Xiao, I didn't mean to startle you. If you don't want it, I won't force it..."

"Can I… go back to my room?" 

"Surely. Get some good rest." 

Xiao returned to his room and curled up next to the bundle that Bonanus was still peacefully sleeping in. While trying to calm down, he watched how her little chest rose and fell in her sleep. He overreacted, Rex Lapis meant no harm. But… Now he just wanted to rest. He can apologize to him tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

A loud thud of a body hitting against the ground could be heard all over the training area. Menogias could barely realize what happened to him, before the end of Xiao's polearm was pointed at his throat. 

"H-Huh…well, you win…congratulations." 

Xiao smiled widely, his canines showing. 

"Now I will be calling you 'girlie'."

Others present at the site of their duel started clapping. There were actually a lot of people, because today's sparring was a kind of test, the last one of many, and other adepti and some of the guards wanted to see. 

Xiao moved the spear away and Menogias got up, trying to shake the dust off his clothes. Azhdaha entered the field and picked Xiao up with enthusiasm, making him let out a little squeak. He will probably never get used to his little habit of picking up people… being his friend meant getting picked up at least once, even Rex Lapis couldn't escape this fate. 

"Look at him closely, feast your eyes." Azhdaha's voice was loud and happy, and its energy seemed to spread on the audience, who started cheering, making Xiao blush in embarrassment and trying to hide himself behind Azhdaha's horns. "Not everyone expected much from such a tiny thinned-out boy… but well, he clearly proved himself through the last years. And he will now become a Yaksha." 

"H-Hey, I'm not tiny!" 

He was angry for a moment, but then his face softened when he spotted Bonanus sitting next to Cloud Retainer and Ganyu in the front row, reaching up with her little hands, with the most beautiful smile on her face. 

After the crowd was pleased, Azhdaha put him back down and Xiao went to wash himself. His clothes were filthy and skin covered in dust. After he was all clean, it was time for the more official part. He received a jade sigil that was designed just for him - his badge in a sense. It could be also used if something happened to him and his remains were too messed up to be identified in a normal way… 

Of course, there was also a vow. It was easy - Xiao could hardly feel anxious in his archon's presence anymore. After all, they were spending a lot of their free time together, so getting on his knees in front of him and repeating a memorized sentence came surprisingly easy. 

He was ready to go back to his room to rest before the dinner, but then…. 

"Xiao, wait!" Guizhong stopped him at the exit. "We have one more thing for you." 

Xiao turned around to face his archon once more, unsure about what was happening. 

"Oh? There is something more? My apologies…" 

"No no! You couldn't have known. It's a surprise."

Azhdaha, who as his proud teacher was standing in the corner of the room, realized that it's time and approached them slowly, holding something long and wrapped in paper. 

"Here! Take it." He forced the object into Xiao's hands. "Guizhong said that it's something that would make you very happy, hehe." 

Well, now his curiosity was peaking. Slowly and carefully, Xiao untied the rope and unwrapped the gift. It was… a spear. The exact same one that Xiao liked to stare at in the beginning of his living here, the one that inspired him to start training. 

He looked at the objects in his hands and then turned back at Rex Lapis, who was still sitting on his armchair, with a contagiously happy expression. 

"Y-you're giving it to me, my lord?..." 

"Yes, it's yours. It has been gathering dust as a decoration for long enough, waiting for its fated warrior. I believe that you're the one who it was made for. Handle it with pride." 

"You didn't need to…" He felt like it's necessary to say it, but was actually so happy inside that he was having a hard time keeping his emotions at bay. "Menogias didn't get any special gift when he finished his training a year ago…"

"Yes, yes." Azhdaha interrupted. "But Menogias took a few more years to finish his training, while you managed to master combat and exorcism in barely 8 years starting from scratch. And you gotta be the first adeptus in centuries who did all of that being barely 22." 

"Almost 23." Morax reminded. "So, you can also treat it as an early birthday gift." 

Xiao got moved, but he did his very best not to tear up. Not here, in front of Azhdaha and Guizhong. 

"Y-Yes my lord! Thank you…"

He immediately wanted to give it a try, but just when he managed to get on the training grounds and spot someone he can spar with, he noticed Cloud Retainer running over to him.

"Xiao! There you are… please, come with me quickly."

"I'm busy. Can you give me around a half an hour?" He sighed, annoyed that his first date with his dreamed weapon was being interrupted. 

"I can't, it's about… her. "

-

Xiao immediately ran into the building and then followed Cloud Retainer into the infirmary. After entering, he couldn't help but gasp in disbelief. Indarias, his daughter's best and only friend, was sitting on the chair, while Ping was trying to patch up a big claw mark on her shoulder. 

"Inda? What happened??" He asked, already expecting what the answer would be. 

"S-She didn't want to! It's okay, doesn't hurt anymore… she really didn't want to..."

Xiao stormed out of the room and quickly searched the corridor. Just as expected, Bonanus was sitting there hidden in a dark corner with her face in her little knees and weeping.

"Hey." 

She looked up at him, but then she curled up again, her cries getting louder. Xiao sighed. 

"She's not angry at you. Don't worry. But tell me… what happened?" 

"W-We were playing chase." she mewled, tightening the grip on her legs. "S-She was escaping and I couldn't catch her." 

"...And your power activated itself when you got frustrated, huh?"

She nodded and let out another miserable  whimper. He pulled her close and rested his chin on top of her head, minding her horns. It seemed to bring her a bit of comfort because she stopped weeping and hugged her teary face into his chest. 

Situations like these happened already in the past. Of course, being a daughter of a god, she was stronger than other adepti children. There was also that Xiao didn't know what exact powers Osial possessed, so he couldn't predict what ability will show up next. For now, she seemed to have control over water and some of the aquatic animals, but also could summon big claw-like structures around her hands, and she barely had any control over them. She's not even 8 years old, but these were big and sharp enough to accidentally kill a human… And that's most likely what hurt Indarias. 

That girl… was the only person that didn't stop hanging out with her. Even Ganyu was a bit wary of his daughter, despite being older than her. But if situations like that one keep repeating, her parents will probably forbid Indarias to see her. And what will happen to her then?... 

"... Let's go to your room, okay? You will play and I will check on your friend in the meantime." 

He got up, but she didn't move, staring into the floor. 

"D-Dad…" 

"What is it?"

"Am I… a monster?" 

Xiao sighed. 

"You aren't. Of course you aren't, my darling. It's not about what power you possess, it's about how you use it." 

"Why am I different…?"

"You're not. You're just strong. It might one day be your biggest asset. You're a good girl." 

"B-But there must be a reason… why?" 

He felt something in his chest twist painfully. Bonanus was still completely unaware of her origins. 

"You could call it a favor of the gods. Now, please, let's go to your room. You need to simmer down."

"A favor… it's because of my father, isn't it?"

…

"...Let's go to our ro-" 

"No! Why won't you tell anything about him? I deserve to know! I'm not a baby." 

"Yes, you are!" Xiao couldn't help but raise his voice. "And you have n-no need to know these things… we're going." 

"I want to know what he was like! I will go when you tell me!" 

Little hydro bubbles appeared around her, just like always when she's in strong emotions. And Xiao couldn't help but tear up as well. 

"Stop that! We talked about it so many times. Y-You know nothing!" 

"I-I don't know because you never told me anything!" 

"You both stop it this instant!" 

Xiao turned around to see Guizhong. She must have arrived to check the commotion with Indarias. 

"But, my lady…" 

"Don't yell at her. She doesn't even know what she did wrong." 

Xiao sighed and looked down on the floor. It was not the first time when she or Cloud Retainer openly scolded him in front of Bonanus. And every time it was making him feel like an absolute failure of a parent. Then, he clenched his fists, feeling a sudden wave of anger. 

"T-Then do what you want! I give up!" 

Xiao just ran away, ignoring his daughter's plea for him to stay. He was too agitated to return to the training field, so he just went to the kitchen and asked for wine. Morax was right that he will grow to enjoy it sooner or later. He only returned to his room in the evening, slightly drunk, but mostly calm. Drinking helped, it always does. He was just doing his best to not make it a habit. 

The moment he returned to their quarters, she ran up to him and wrapped her little hands around his waist. 

"I'm sorry!... I'm sorry…" Her eyes were red, she must have been crying when he was gone. What could he do other than kneel down in front of her and hug her back? 

"I'm sorry as well… I'm sorry I yelled. It's okay, you did nothing wrong. Just a lot of bad memories returned to me at the same time."

"You're drunk again."

"I'm not! Just a few glasses."

She giggled and put her face against his neck. 

"You always say it when you're drunk." 

"Yeah, yeah… so, about your father…" Xiao took a deep breath and pulled away from the hug. "He was… a horrible man." 

"Was he strong like me?" 

"Probably even stronger. That's why I couldn't escape from him. But uncle Morax saved us." 

"So I won't be allowed to meet him? Never?"

She looked disappointed. 

"No. At least I hope there won't be an opportunity. He is not worth your time or your love. You don't need him! I will never abandon you. And even if something happens to me, there are plenty of people here who adore you and will care for you. I beg you, promise me you won't look for any contact with him…" 

She nodded to show that she understood and then made her way to the bathroom without a word. Xiao decided to give her time to digest the revelations. About her siblings and other things… She will learn it when she's mature enough to take them. For now, it is unlikely they will ever meet, thankfully. The trade between Morax and Osial never came to be after the god of contracts somehow found a solid proof to Xiao's words, so he won't be anywhere around. 

-

After Bonanus finally managed to fall asleep, Xiao sneaked out of their shared room and headed to his archon's private chambers. The moment he saw Xiao at his door, he sighed. He was combing his hair at the moment, probably preparing himself to leave somewhere. 

"I can't help you with her, I have no experience with children." 

So Guizhong told him. 

"... I know, my lord. I'm sorry. I'm just worried and wanted to talk with you." 

"Come here, sit." 

Xiao sat down on the couch and was offered a glass of wine. He refused, he was already not entirely sober. Morax just shrugged his shoulders and drank it himself in a few long sips, then sat down and looked at him with pity. 

"Not like we can solve her problems either. You have to understand that there are aspects that she will have to figure out herself. I hope that as she grows and learns to control her power, her worries will slowly fade away." 

Xiao looked down on his knees and recalled the time he was bought here.

"I have to disagree, my lord. Sometimes… even if the cause of the worries fades, the limitations will stay."

"And what do you mean by that?" 

"...While beginning my training, I understood that I will never be like them. They have hobbies. They had a happy childhood they can recall together. Even if I'm given the same living conditions as them, it will not make me… compatible. I'm an outcast. A-And even if she gains full control over Osial's power, she will always be someone who hurt her friends by accident and will be remembered by her peers as an outcast as well."

His master narrowed his eyes a bit. 

"You do have a point. But I still hope that she can overcome it and there is not much we can do to help her other than teaching her to control her strength. What about you? You improved your physical condition, yet I see that you still haven't made a full recovery."

Xiao titled his head in confusion. 

"My health is at its peak, my lord."

"Physical health, yes. But I can see that you're still… 'closed'. You see yourself as an outcast because of your past, you feel like your environment was rejecting you. But… you're the one rejecting people, Xiao. I understand that you're traumatized and that you became a parent while still being a child yourself, but you can't stay closed for anyone except for your child. I need to go to a late business meeting, so I will leave you with this thought."

"Of course… thank you, my lord."

-

Xiao returned to his bed and got lost in thought. He didn't even change into his sleepwear. Yes. What his master said was true. 

After Rex Lapis explained his 'gender situation' to Menogias and Bosacius, they sincerely apologized to him for their sexist attitude, but Xiao remained mostly cold. The yaksha training was always filled with a bright atmosphere of friendly rivalry, but he never took their invite to go drinking after the training was done. He was declining Guizhong's invites to party with her adepti friends too. When someone tried to talk to him at official events, he was making sure to let them know in a subtle indirect way, that he's not interested in being their acquaintance. And on, and on. 

The only person that he was openly showing affection was his little daughter. Rex Lapis was right. His body is in a peak condition, but his soul is far from healed. And if he can't even help himself, then how can he help Bonanus? He looked at her bed, she was wrapped in her cute pink blanket and her body was slightly moving with each of her breaths. Little blue bubbles were shining above her sleeping figure like a little cloud of stars. She's probably dreaming about something and it caused them to appear. 

He has to do it. For her. 

He has to protect her childhood. He can't let her be unhappy like he was. The thought that he was barely two years older than her when he had his virginity taken was filling him with cold dread. He never had a childhood in fact. Rex Lapis and Guizhong, thanks to their thorough investigation, managed to recover most of the information about his previous master's research, including a file containing specific information about him. And his birth date, which made it possible to determine his exact age. 

He was already working at 11 and had his first clutch not long after. He was 14 when Bonanus was conceived. And Bonanus was so childish and delicate! He couldn't imagine her doing all what he did. Only seeing children like Ganyu or Indarias made him realize how a childhood should look. But even if all these horrible things had no chance of happening to her in the care of Xiao and his two gods, it doesn't mean that there won't be other horrible things that will make her unhappy.

 And having neither proper childhood memories or proper interactions with other people, how can Xiao help her in any way? What kind of example is he? An empty husk of a person at most, someone who already perceived himself as an adult and behaved like one when some of his peers were still playing with toys. Someone like him should not be raising a child. The thought stung him so much… But Bonanus is his little ray of sunshine, his baby, the most important person in his life so he can't give up. It will all require a lot of work… but to accomplish anything, he needs to take the first step.

He got up and readjusted the blanket to cover her shoulder and then returned to his archon's room. He waited for probably around half an hour there, but finally, he returned from the meeting. 

"Oh? And what are you doing here in this ungodly hour?" He asked warmly, getting out of his cape."

"I…considered what you said, my lord. Please… please help me fix myself."

A smile appeared on his face.

"I waited for that moment. I'm glad." 

Rex Lapis grabbed his hand and led him deeper into his apartment, eventually reaching the bedroom. 

"My lord…" Xiao got a bit startled. 

"I'm pretty positive that the main reason for your struggles, Xiao, is that you think that your body is not yours." 

Xiao freezed in place and opened his eyes wide.

"H-Huh" 

"Think about it…" He put his hands on Xiao's shoulders and dragged them down his forearms and then back up. "Don't you think that, somewhere deep inside? Didn't he take it away from you?" 

Yes, he did. Xiao could still feel his hands on himself. He had no idea where Osial was right now, but his touch forever tainted his skin, no matter how many times he washed it. It was there as a cold reminder that his fate was always in someone else's iron grip. 

"Yes… P-Please, help me." His voice was suddenly so small and miserable. 

"How do you feel, Xiao?"  

"My body is filthy… c-cursed."

"If it's cursed…" He gently made Xiao sit on the edge of his bed and then kneeled in front of him. "Then we need to perform a little exorcism, don't you think?" 

He smiled and it made Xiao smile too, despite the anxiety. 

"T-That's one weird analogy, my lord… heh…"

"Relax. It won't take long."

He pulled Xiao's training pants down and revealed his thighs. He lifted one of them to see all the scars that formed where bruises couldn't heal anymore. He technically could get rid of them, but something was not letting him... The pattern was nearly symmetrical on both of his legs. Just to make sure, Morax put his thumbs on the front ones and then made Xiao tilt his body back so he can put the remaining fingers on the rest of them. He now had no doubt that these were formed from many many times his thighs were brutally handled by Osial's two hands. 

Xiao was trembling, his imagination playing games with him again. But he trusted his master. 

"So that must have been his favorite position… we will start here." 

The boy wanted to say that he has more of these on his hips, but his train of thought got interrupted. 

"W-What are you… m-my lord…" He whispered with panic when he felt warm lips on his thigh. 

"Do you touch yourself?" 

Xiao shook his head. Why would he? He was sometimes getting hard just like any other male, but he never felt such needs. And how is he supposed to get off while sleeping in one room with a little girl? 

"I think you should try it. Your body is a tool for your pleasure, not someone else's."

"I don't think it's… that cool to be worth trying." He looked away, kind of wanting to escape, but calmed down a bit when his archon's big hand wrapped around his smaller one. His thumb caressed the barely visible rings of darkened skin around his fingers. The place where they grew back.  

"Was it a punishment?"

"M-Mhm…" 

"Poor thing… Tell me Xiao, why do you think he did all of that to you?" 

His tone was warm, patient. Xiao took a few deep breaths. 

"P-Probably because he found it exciting." 

"It can be equally exciting and pleasurable for both. But he was finding pleasure in your pain and sorrow. I just want to see you happy." His hand released Xiao's and he brought one of his fingers to the elastic band of his underwear. "Can I take it off?" 

Xiao hesitated. Part of him wanted to say yes, but dark thoughts and memories clouded his head. 

"It's been 8 years since you're here. Did I ever betray your trust, my darling?"

He exhaled and touched his master's hand with the tips of his fingers. 

"N-Never, my lord… go ahead." 

He slowly removed the piece of clothing and threw it somewhere aside. Then he gently caressed the bruised surface of his thighs with both of his hands, making him let out a small gasp. 

"I don't want to hurt you, so let's start with something easy, okay? " 

Xiao nodded and then gasped once again, feeling one of the hands creep towards his crotch. To distract him, Morax pulled Xiao's chin down and gave him a long, tender kiss. 

"Nhh…" Xiao's little body squirmed, the tongue in his mouth and the hand on his most sensitive place actually started doing things to him. Morax hummed with satisfaction, feeling that Xiao's little member started hardening under his fingers. He parted from the kiss and looked down. 

"There you go, darling." 

"D-Don't kiss me like that, it should be reserved for your love…" 

"You are my love, Xiao. I wanted you for so many years."

He blushed furiously and covered his face with his hands, his legs closing on Morax's wrist 

"My lord!..." 

"Awww…my little bird is so shy. Don't hide yourself from me."

Once he felt that Xiao is already hard enough, he wrapped his hand around his hardness and started gently pulling on it. Xiao gripped the covers and let his head fall back at the sudden sensation. 

"You sized it down. I can feel the traces of your power on it. Are you comfortable with telling me why?"

Somehow, Xiao managed to calm his breath and opened his eyes to look at Morax, who was giving him a gentle, curious look. 

"W-When I became a male again, I was getting erect for no reason… I-I didn't want it to be too visible. I will change it back immediately if you want-" 

Xiao immediately stopped talking when a finger was placed on his mouth. 

"Nu-uh. Remember what I said? Your body is a tool for your pleasure. Not mine. You're not changing anything for me." 

Xiao nodded and watched him release it. 

"Huh… why did you s-.. H-HAH?!..."

Xiao's hand fell down to grip his master's hair, when he just took his member into his mouth with totally no warning. It was not big, so he easily took it in one go and started giving it gentle licks and sucks, like he had a piece of candy in his mouth. 

"M-my lord… don't dirty your mouth…aah…"

But he didn't stop, clearly enjoying himself. Xiao couldn't help it, his hips twitched up from the stimulation, causing Morax to groan. He was ready to start desperately apologizing, but then, his master took one of his hands off Xiao's thigh and showed him a thumb-up. After a moment of hesitation, he did it again. And then again. The sensation was so good. Every little pull was sending a pleasnt shock up to his stomach, he really couldn't help but bounce his hips up, practically fucking his archon's throat. And his throat was so wet and tight, as if the long dragon tongue wasn't enough. 

"A-Ah…my lord… m-my lord….hah..hah" 

He tightened his grip on the brown locks, this breath going faster. He had a dick in his mouth multiple times, but it was the first time he experienced it himself… And he could tell why men liked it. His tongue fell out and a high-pitched keen escaped his lips. He could feel his testicles twitch and tighten and then a bit of liquid escaped him. At first he got terrified that he squirted out pee, because the sensation was similar. But then, he calmed down, realizing that it was most likely just seed. He did it. He ejaculated for the first time in his over two decades long life… 

Morax released him from his mouth, a bit of white liquid dripping down the corner of his mouth. 

"There you go… what a good boy."

Xiao trembled. He didn't even realize that his scars are gone - his mind released the subconscious blockade on his shape-shifting abilities and allowed it to hide them. His mind was just filled with warmth and adoration. He didn't need to think about Osial anymore. He didn't need to feel filthy or cursed. He was safe in the embrace of his master, his god, his emperor. He was allowed to taste pleasure, to be loved, to be appreciated because of his endless compassion and generosity. 

Xiao could say that it was not only his first time experiencing an orgasm, but also when he learned what religious ecstasy feels like. 

He broke out of this state of bliss when he heard Morax's soft voice once again. 

"Oh, my my… you seem a bit overwhelmed. Did it help?" 

"Y-Yes… y-yes my lord… Thank you…Thank you…" 

He gave him a warm smile and took his face into his hands, making Xiao blush furiously once again. 

"Do you want to end here? Or do you wish to proceed?"

He didn't need time to consider. He was overwhelmed and a bit tired, but he couldn't deny himself this newly found pleasure. 

"Yes… please…I want more."

Morax untied his waistband and started peeling his clothes off. The boy couldn't help but let out a pleased sigh at the sight of the perfect, slightly muscular body that these layers of silk were hiding from his eyes. Then, his archon took a bottle of oil from the drawer and poured it on his hand, to make himself slick. For a moment, Xiao felt a tiny spark of panic in his chest at the memory of him doing the same, but it quickly faded. He was now liberated from this suffering. Osial's ownership over his body was no more. And these memories didn't have as much power over him, not anymore. 

After regaining his composure, Xiao decided to accommodate his master. After all, he owes him a lot. Morax breathed in in surprise, seeing sea-green particles of adepti magic around Xiao. His body glowed and slowly changed shape, to one of a female. Or to be precise, only his genitals. He did not feel like going all the way, the process was exhausting enough. 

"Remember that you don't need to change for my-" 

"N-No… this part… needs an 'exorcism' as well."

Well, it was not entirely a lie. 

"...Then let me open you up" 

Xiao expected himself to be pathetically loose, but it didn't seem to be the case. After 8 years, the abused passage managed to shrink down to a normal size. He moaned and squirmed while two fingers stretched him, they were so thick, so gentle. They caressed Xiao's soft insides like they were made of delicate silk and the thumb pressed against his clitoris was making it even better. 

"You too…" He whimpered. "Pleasure yourself as well, my lord…" 

The two fingers left him and Morax slowly got on top of him, looking at Xiao's expression, as if to make sure that he's not feeling uneasy. Xiao couldn't deny that he was, a bit, because he could still recall being in this position under someone and it was not a happy memory. But he did his best to not let it stand between them. 

"I will take it slow, but it might hurt a bit." 

Xiao nodded. He tried using his powers to disconnect his uterus from the ekhm.. orifice, but to no avail. It was too deep inside and his body refused to let him interfere there. 

"W-We will need protection…" He whispered quietly when his legs got lifted and placed on each of his Morax's shoulders. "Please, I don't want to be pregnant… never again. "

"It's okay darling." He gently caressed his cheek and smiled. "I can make myself infertile at whim."

Xiao nodded with gratitude and tried to relax, surrendering his body to its new owner. It hurt. Morax was huge. But he was slow and patient. A shiver ran down his spine when he heard a long, deep groan from above. 

"M-My lo….-" 

"So good Xiao… oooh… you're so perfect… if you clench on me like that… the fun will be over too fast."

He blushed furiously and looked away, his archon's praise being too much for him. 

"I already told you, don't hide from me." 

Xiao experienced a few positions, but not like that one. With his knees bent over his partner's shoulders, his butt raised up high. Making him unable to escape, but also filling him with a deep sense of security and keeping him warm. It was like heaven. He learned a long time after that night that it's called a mating press. And he experienced another new thing too. Osial was quiet. The only sounds he was allowing himself to make were chuckles, sometimes a quiet groan when he had a nicer orgasm. Morax was vocal. 

"Just what are you doing to me?" He whispered between the thrusts, kissing the tears off Xiao's face "I will get addicted… my love, my darling…" 

If his arms were not holding his knees up, Xiao would probably collapse from all the sensations. It hurt a bit, but was so overwhelmingly good, that he couldn't care less. His eyes fell closed and all he focused on were what he felt. He felt like he was in some kind of warm nest, separated from pain, from worries. There was only pleasure and his beloved master shielding him from the world outside with his warm embrace, his muscular body enveloping Xiao's much smaller one. He could feel the pressure building inside of him through their connection, he was getting close. Xiao was too. 

"M-my lord…" he opened his eyes and slowly reached up to put his hand on his flushed cheek. It was warm and red, a bit wet from sweat. 

He understood the message and bent down to give Xiao a deep kiss. It was a bit hard, considering the height difference, but they managed. Xiao was the first one to come, the knot in his stomach came up to his throat and then was released, causing him to clench on the massive member inside of him and squirt out his release. It was such a blissful sensation that he never got to experience before, so much better than his male climax. His head fell down on the pillow and he became a panting and whimpering mess. But then he felt another release that came over him like lightning. It probably happened because his imagination played with him again. The sensation of warm seed filling his belly was too familiar. Tears suddenly appeared in the corners of his eyes and he let out a quiet scream against his archon's mouth, squirming in panic. But Morax didn't get scared and held him down in place until he calmed down, whispering little soothes.

"Shh, shh, you did well. Good boy." 

Slowly, Xiao stopped trembling and gave in to the caresses and the calming effect of his deep voice. 

"I-I'm… s-sorry…. I'm sorry…!" He cried out with shame, realizing how badly he overreacted. "Thank you… i-it was so amazing…"

"It's only the first time. Your fears will pass." Morax gave him another peck on his lips and helped him to get into a more comfortable position. "Now, let me clean you." 

"There will be… more times?" Xiao asked shyly, when his archon wiped his dripping pussy with a soft towel. 

"Only, if you wish for them. So, do you wish for more? Will you become my husband, Xiao?" 

"Will you t-take care of Bonanus?" 

"I will take care of both of you equally. You deserve it, my darling." 

"Then…yes…"

They fell asleep happy, cuddled against each other. 

-

Bonanus caught him sneaking back in the morning. 

"Where were you??" She whined, the moment he set his foot in their bedroom. 

Xiao blushed a bit and his mind raced to find an excuse. 

"R-Rex Lapis invited me for a.. sleepover." 

"Heee? Uncle invited you to a party and you didn't take me?? Ueeeeeeeee"

"It was… A party for adults! We were drinking wine. Not for little girls."

She pouted, but didn't whine anymore. She just  watched him quickly change his clothes and collect his new spear. 

"Dad? Where are you going? I thought that you finished your training yesterday…" 

"Even when the land is at peace and a yaksha is not needed, I still need to keep my condition at its peak, don't I? And I want to play with my new weapon a bit." 

"B-but I have no lessons today! And Indarias won't be visiting me for a while. What should I do?" 

So, he took her with him. It was not the first time. She sat down on a bench that Xiao used to sit on before he joined. She should be safe there, so Xiao stopped paying attention to her, focusing on a mechanical training device. The jade-winged spear was longer and heavier than his previous one, but he was slowly getting used to it. Being back to his everyday reality of combat training, yesterday's night felt unreal. But he could see the lack of scars on his hands and despite being back to his male body, he could swear he still feels the weight of his archon's enormous manhood somewhere within. 

He was unsure how long he was playing with his new weapon, for two or three hours probably? When he was finally sweaty and tired, he looked at the bench to collect Bonanus before heading inside to take a well-deserved bath. 

But, she was not there. Oh. He probably took too long and she got bored. But where is she now? She couldn't leave this place, just like Xiao was blocked from leaving when he was brought here, so she must be somewhere… but where? 

He paced around the training grounds and peaked around the corner, where official competitions are held and where he had his final test yesterday. And he couldn't believe his eyes. 

Azhdaha was standing on the side, watching Bonanus in the middle. Her clawed 'arm extensions' were out and she was holding a big training sword with both of them. Holding it like it weighed absolutely nothing. She lifted it up and managed to make a deep sloppy cut in the wooden training dummy that already had some. So it was not the first one. She lacked height and technique, but not strength. 

"Dad, look!" She shouted, when she noticed him. 

"I see, I see…" he approached her and hummed with approval. "Finally found something you're good at…"

Then, he leaned towards Azhdaha. 

"Isn't she a bit too young though?" 

"It's okay, big boy. I'm watching over her. She asked me to try, how could I refuse?" 

"Just don't make it too often. Heavy lifting is not good for growing bones." 

"It's not heavy!" Bonanus lifted the sword up, pointing its blade at the sky. "Really! Look." 

"Yes, yes… you're amazing." 

"I want to be a yaksha too!"

"Too early. Now, you can play with uncle Azhdaha a bit more, I need to take a bath. I stink." 

He was opposed to the idea at first. But… maybe that's the way she can learn to control her powers and develop her own strengths? He will ask Rex Lapis for an authorization of her training later. Perhaps, it's a step towards her bright future and who was he to stop her? 

Chapter Text

Bonanus really did become a great warrior. And she finished her yaksha training just in time to use her abilities to the fullest. 

On the perilous battlefields of the archon war, everyone could see just how much stronger she is than many other adepti, the divine heritage was definitely doing its work. Her abilities were especially shining in water, where she was like a fish. When the remains of the Guili Assembly were flooded, she was of great help to mortals. She got the highest reward for bravery that there was in Morax's army, for diving hundreds of times in the most dangerous waters in search of missing belongings and people. Xiao was so proud of her. His little girl made it so far. Finally, when the flood situation was under control… it was time to confront the one who caused it. 

"My lord, can we wait a bit?" Xiao asked his husband, just a moment before he was supposed to give an order to charge at the giant sea dragon that emerged from the sea, as if to meet them. He surely did, because each of his many heads seemed to be staring intently into their direction. 

"Wait? For what?" Morax seemed puzzled by the sudden request. It surely sounded ridiculous in a situation when all the adepti were waiting. 

Xiao pointed at Bonanus with his chin. She was standing next to Indarias, staring at the sea with curiosity, readjusting her claymore in her hand. She was certainly ready to strike, completely unaware. 

".... Ten minutes." 

Xiao bowed down with gratitude and ran towards her. 

"Bonanus, we're going." 

"Huh? Where? What about the rest?" She looked at other adepti who were waiting for a command. 

"Just the two of us. Quick." 

He grabbed her hand and led her down the slope towards the sea. 

"D-Dad… I don't understand."

"...You asked me many times to tell you more about your father. I didn't want to… but now I realized that you deserve to meet him at least once."

They proceeded down until they reached the shore. She stopped when the sea water covered her feet, staring at the water dragon in disbelief. He seemed to stare back at her, but Xiao was unsure if he could see them from this far away. 

"So…that is him?"

He nodded. 

"... Yes. Your water powers… he is the one you inherited them from."

She looked forward at him for a long while and then back at Xiao.

"Then… I don't want to talk. I just want to beat him up and get out of here. What would I even ask him? Why did he do all of that? Or should I rather give him a chance to explain himself? Ask him why he brought me into this world if he never wanted me? There is… no point. I-I'm pretty sure I don't even want to know answers to these questions."

" I wanted you."

She smiled sadly and nodded. 

"Yeah, I know… thank you."

"It is your choice to make. I just thought that it would be fair to… give you an opportunity. He won't be waiting there forever, so… we either go there now or let Rex Lapis give an order."

"Hm… both!" 

"Both?" 

"I don't need to talk to him much. All I want to do is to let him know that I exist. I can do it quickly before the rest arrives." She turned to face the sea again. "Can I please be the one to take him down? Or at least try… pleeeeeaaaseee?"

Xiao looked at Rex Lapis who was watching them from a distance nodded. 

"But don't get yourself killed. We will be right behind you." 

Bonanus summoned her sword back and jumped into the water. Xiao turned around to face the rest of the yakshas and lifted his polearm. 

Rex Lapis nodded and lifted his, and then his voice echoed through the grassy plains around the shore 

"Charge!"  

-

Xiao was proud of one thing in particular. Bonanus always did what she wanted. Her life was in her two hands, no matter if in happiness or pain, she was always free and used her power to do what she felt was right. For Xiao, as someone who was denied these rights to choose, it was great happiness. He always cheered for her, both on the battlefield and after the war, when she was chasing her other dreams - like having children. Then, when god remains plagued Liyue, she joined him and the other three yakshas to subdue them. She was very compassionate and had a strong sense of duty, something expected from a girl who had the god of contracts as her adoptive father. And the three of them, as a family shared a common goal - bring the peaceful times of her childhood back, so children of Liyue won't have to fear for their tomorrows anymore. And she pursued this goal, with a smile on her face. To the very end. 

With that smile in his mind, Xiao found relief both from his karmic debt and painful memories in watching part-human descendants of his grandchildren playing in the mountains. They possessed neither adepti powers, extended lifespan or even inhuman traits that would be a proof of their lineage. Not after so many generations of mixing with humans. But somehow, the shape of his daughter's face that he still remembered so well was passed on and seemed to manifest on young girls every couple generations. He could recognize it, even when the color of hair and eyes was different. 

Today, the girl who looked so much like her was alone in the forest, her friends ran off somewhere when she got distracted by a big firefly that sat on a three branch. Xiao decided to not let this opportunity slide and used his adepti art to materialize himself right behind her. She heard the dashing sound and turned around, her mouth falling open at his sudden appearance. 

"Here. I think it's yours." 

He extended his arm to her. In his hand there was a worn out but well-cared doll. He saw it being taken by hilichurls a few days ago and decided to retrieve it for her. 

"Oh… Yes, thank you!" She smiled brightly and took it. "Are you… an adeptus?" 

He nodded. 

"Wow… that's so cool!" 

"Take care. I don't want to be seeing you playing near hilichurl camps again." 

He vanished into a cloud of anemo particles, leaving her alone. She was standing there for a moment, looking at the place he was standing in just a few seconds ago, but then heard voices of her friends from afar and ran off, so she could catch up. Xiao watched her from afar, just to be sure she left the forest safely. A corner of his lips lifted just a little bit. Cute. 

A yaksha stays alive for eternity in the land they protected and the smiles of these precious kids. And Xiao knew that neither he or Bonanus is an exception here, it was bringing his aching heart a great relief. Actually, seeing kids was doing things to him lately, especially since that little body-double of Bonanus showed up. He told Aether about it and he called it a 'baby fever' or something like that. Well, not like Osial will show up again anytime soon after the jade chamber incident, maybe he should put his fears away and try considering Morax's pleading? So he could heal the last one of aching wounds that his past left on him. So he could experience being a parent once again, but in a proper way…

"Xiaooo!" 

He turned around, surprised to see Aether. 

"H-How did you know I will be here?" 

"Zhongli told me. Can you come with me? I want to take you to the harbor before it gets dark."

"W-What for?" He looked away. "And you could have just called my name instead of troubling yourself with coming here."

"Yesterday was your birthday… Zhongli was at work, I was busy too, so we decided to organize some late celebrations today. I got a gift for you, and we invited Cloud Retainer too…" Aether grabbed his hand. "Pleaseee come with me?" 

"Oh, I… forgot. I didn't even realize it was yesterday." Xiao sighed. "I never paid much attention to that day…" 

But then, he realized that if yesterday was his birthday… then today would be hers . She was 15 years younger but they were nearly birthday twins. And… it was a round one, 3700 years. Maybe… maybe he could celebrate today, actually, he probably even should. If Aether and his husband want to make it his day, then there's no harm. 

"Okay, I will go. Just keep it simple, please…"

Before they left, he turned around to look at little Luo for the last time. She was standing on the grass with her doll in her hand, looking at the mountains in the distance, as if hoping to spot him again. 

"Huh, what's the deal with her?" Aether looked there too, surprised by Xiao's interest. "Do you see something dangerous here?" 

"No, just… a relative."

Aether looked at her for a moment and then back at Xiao with a smirk. 

"Oooh! So that's 'her'. Aww, my Xiao is so cold and distant, but inside he's a good caring grandpa."

"H-Hey, don't call me that! I'm not that old yet."

Aether giggled and turned around. Xiao just followed him, despite pretending to be angry, he even started looking forward to that evening. He couldn't help but twist his lips into a little smile.