Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Beverly and Kathryn meet for coffee every day that week, always in Beverly’s office, inside the cocoon of mirrored glass. 

Kathryn claims it’s because she is always on the move anyway and Medical is in a convenient central location. Beverly wonders if Kathryn is hiding but she doesn’t ask. 

After that first time (the time when Beverly accidentally kissed Kathryn’s cheek), Beverly appears more at ease, even comfortable in Kathryn’s presence. They sit side by side on the sofa now, knees and shoulders brushing as they talk. Beverly does not try to kiss her again because she is a little embarrassed and unsure that Kathryn is even interested in that sort of relationship. Kathryn does not try to kiss Beverly either because she thinks Beverly’s lack of follow-up means that she must regret the impulsive kiss and Kathryn does not want to lose the friendship that has already become so precious to her. 

Despite the flimsy pretense under which their friendship began, they do not discuss the Borg. 

They do discuss everything else. 

They talk about loneliness and regrets, and true to her word, Kathryn does provide a shoulder for Beverly to cry on when she talks about her agonizing decision to flee with her unborn child. 

Kathryn asks Beverly what it is like to be a mother, to grow a human inside of your own body. Beverly laughs and says it is like the most beautiful love story and the most disgusting horror movie, all rolled into one. 

Beverly asks Kathryn what it is like to have a family. Kathryn quietly admits that she hasn’t really had one - not in the traditional sense anyway - since before Voyager, but she shares what she can remember. 

They talk about Beverly’s latest experiments. Kathryn says she wants to hear every detail because she misses being a scientist (but also she loves the way Beverly’s eyes light up when she talks about immune responses and cellular apoptosis). Beverly loves sharing this with someone who understands what she’s talking about (and she also loves the way Kathryn’s nose crinkles when she’s processing complex information).

***

They stop meeting for coffee and start meeting for after work drinks instead. They meet at a bar with a view of the ocean and the Golden Gate bridge and Beverly no longer worries that Kathryn is trying to hide.

Beverly thinks it’s adorable that Kathryn always starts with an espresso martini to “bridge the gap between day and night.” When she tells her so, Kathryn blushes down to her chest and says that if Beverly tried it, she’d never turn back. 

Beverly agrees, but she isn’t really thinking about the espresso martinis. 

***

Some nights, they sit at the bar and let the other patrons in on the fun, entertaining them with non-classified versions of their run-ins with Q, or that time that they hyper-evolved (in Kathryn’s case) or de-evolved (in Beverly’s). It is not a Starfleet bar and most of the civilians think they are making things up, so on these nights, Kathryn and Beverly compete to see who can tell the most unbelievable true story. 

The loser picks up the tab for the evening, so Beverly usually pays.

***

Other nights, they squeeze into a secluded corner booth where they can talk of more serious matters. 

Beverly talks of the pain that goes along with returning after decades away to find the father of her child and (she thought) love of her life finally emotionally available and ready to commit… to someone else. Kathryn entwines her fingers with Beverly’s and she looks at her with compassion spilling from her blue-gray eyes. Beverly has a strong urge to kiss her, but she doesn’t. She does, however, admit shyly that the pain has all but disappeared since she met Kathryn. 

Kathryn talks of lost loves and almost soul mates. The first, she lost to a shuttle crash (Beverly feels this viscerally). The second, she had to leave behind (and Beverly knows how that feels too). The third had turned out to be nothing more than a mirage created in the desperation and loneliness of the Delta Quadrant. They would always be good friends and always be there for each other, but back in the Alpha Quadrant it quickly became clear that they had very different visions of what their lives would be. 

Kathryn does not tell Beverly that she never used to believe in soul mates. She does let Beverly wrap an arm around her while Kathryn tells her that she still has hope that hers is out there.

Beverly does not tell Kathryn that she is glad that none of those other loves worked out, for either of them. But she is. 

***

They talk of art and music and when Kathryn says that she has a soft spot for extremely old classical music like Mahler symphonies, Beverly’s eyes light up and she asks how Kathryn feels about the ballet. Impulsively, she invites Kathryn to the New York City Ballet’s new production of Swan Lake. Kathryn agrees immediately and says that Swan Lake is her favorite. 

Kathryn does not admit, on this night, that she still remembers the dance of the dying swan that she learned as a child, but she will someday. 

***

The night of the ballet arrives and they meet in Kathryn’s office, for once, so that they can take advantage of the Admiral’s priority transporter. Kathryn has had a long day trying to smooth over a recent hiccup in Klingon-Federation relations. She doesn’t have time to go home and change and so replicates a simple black dress to wear to the ballet (she doesn’t dare try for anything more complex, due to her ongoing war with every replicator she touches). When Beverly arrives, poured into an off the shoulder silk gown in cornflower blue that matches her eyes, Kathryn’s mouth drops open and she suddenly feels horribly underdressed. 

Beverly takes her by the hand and twirls her and assures Kathryn that she looks incredible, no matter what she wears. Kathryn shivers as Beverly’s glove-clad hands slide along her bare arms, and so Beverly replicates an emerald green silk-chiffon wrap to keep her warm. Kathryn accepts it gratefully, even though she isn’t cold at all, and quips that she’s glad at least one of them can coax something like this from the replicator. 

***

The ballet is beautiful, but long, and Beverly can tell that Kathryn is fading after her long day. She offers to leave at intermission but Kathryn threads her arm through Beverly’s and guides her back to their seats, assuring her that she feels a second wind coming on and wouldn’t miss this for the world. 

Approximately four minutes after the lights have dimmed, Kathryn’s head is resting on Beverly’s shoulder. Two minutes later, her steady breathing makes it clear that she is asleep. 

Beverly is glad that they stayed. 

***

Jack’s Academy schedule brings him to Medical and so Beverly invites him to join them for drinks. Kathryn is inordinately nervous to meet Beverly’s son and she reaches for the comm several times to claim she has too much work. She knows that Beverly will see through her though, so in the end, Kathryn goes.

They sit in a booth with a view of the sunset. Beverly and Jack sit on one side and Kathryn sits alone on the other. It feels strange to be so close to Beverly and yet not close enough to touch and it dawns on Kathryn that they actually touch quite a lot. Beverly’s foot nudges hers under the table and Kathryn is relieved that she must feel the strange distance too. 

Jack is warm and welcoming and Kathryn feels silly for how nervous she was to meet him. He has Jean-Luc’s chiseled features and, oddly enough, his accent. But he has Beverly’s piercing blue eyes and her wit and her warmth and Kathryn feels immediately at ease in his presence. 

Kathryn enjoys watching the mother and son interact. They are clearly very close, poking and teasing each other in that way you do with family. Beverly beams with pride when Jack describes the complicated medical procedure he assisted on earlier in the day and she can’t seem to stop herself from ruffling his hair or kissing his cheek periodically as he talks. Kathryn knows it is foolish but she is beginning to feel a little jealous. It’s like Beverly can read her mind because her foot makes contact with Kathryn’s again and this time it stays for a while. 

***

When Beverly excuses herself to use the restroom, Jack becomes very serious very quickly. There is no time to beat around the bush so he comes right out and asks Kathryn what her intentions are with his mother. She laughs because she is caught off guard but she stops abruptly when she sees that Jack is not laughing. 

Kathryn tells him that they are just very good friends and they both know she is lying. She also tells him that she plans to keep Beverly in her life for as long as she can, and there she is telling him the God’s honest truth. 

Jack squints at her in a way that he clearly thinks is menacing and warns that if Kathryn hurts his mother, he will kill her. Kathryn responds that if she ever truly hurts Beverly, she would beat him to the punch. Her answer seems to satisfy him and he visibly relaxes just in time for Beverly to return.

Jack stays a little longer, but when his beer glass is empty, he excuses himself claiming that he has a lot of studying to do. Beverly smirks at him because she knows that what he really has is a date to get to. But she hugs him goodbye just the same, kisses him on the cheek one last time, and tells him to stay out of trouble.

When Beverly sits back down, she slides into Kathryn’s side of the booth and squeezes her fingers under the table. She asks if Kathryn wants another round, but Kathryn says she feels like going for a walk instead. As they leave the bar, their joined hands swing lazily between them because neither wants to let go. 

***

They walk along the shore in comfortable silence until Kathryn pulls Beverly to a stop. She wants to look her in the eye for this. 

Beverly’s hair glows orange in the last light of the setting sun and for a moment, Kathryn feels transported to another time. A time before all of this life happened to them, when they both had redder hair and fewer wrinkles. She wonders what it could have been between them if they had met back then but quickly dismisses the thought. What could have been doesn’t matter when there is so much beauty in the present.

“Your son is very protective of you, you know,” Kathryn says softly.

Beverly nods, “It goes both ways. A byproduct of spending so much of his life just the two of us, fighting to survive.”

Kathryn knows this of course, but she won’t be distracted now by another weighty discussion. She raises an eyebrow and gives Beverly her best crooked smile as she continues. “He asked me what my intentions are with his mother.”

Beverly almost rolls her eyes but there is something in Kathryn’s demeanor that makes her stop. She looks into Kathryn’s eyes instead and what she sees there makes her breath catch in her throat. “What did you tell him?” she asks breathlessly.

Kathryn decides they’ve talked enough. 

Rather than answer in words, she kisses her. 

Chapter Text

Beverly follows Kathryn to her apartment like a love sick puppy and for the first time, she stays all night. Kathryn loans Beverly one of her silk nightgowns that is much too short for her. Kathryn swears it isn’t a calculated move, but her fingers dancing up and down Beverly’s long legs all night long tell a different story. 

They do not make love that first night, because they both know that they have plenty of time. 

They also do not not make love, because there is love present in every kiss and caress, in every glance and every sigh. Love is present in every word they share, and, they realize now, it always has been.

***

There is still plenty of talking, when their mouths aren’t busy doing other things. 

They are much more free with each other now and fewer things go unsaid.

Kathryn blushingly admits that her most embarrassing relationship was with a hologram who she had altered to her specifications - and even worse, her whole crew knew about every sordid detail.

Beverly counters that she once had a relationship with a ghost who lived in a candle and had also been lovers with several of her female ancestors. 

Kathryn has to pay for drinks that night.

***

Kathryn takes Beverly to see Voyager. She hasn’t gone in decades, but she does now because she doesn’t want there to be such a big part of her life that Beverly isn’t somehow a part of. Voyager is a museum piece now, but otherwise just as she remembers it. 

Kathryn has arranged for the guards to have the evening off (“Admiral’s privilege”) so they have the ship to themselves. 

Kathryn gives Beverly the VIP tour. She shows her the Captain’s quarters and the aeroponics bay and Neelix’s little kitchen. 

Kathryn shows her the bridge, where they kiss with the backdrop of a vast field of stars on the viewscreen. 

She shows her the ready room and she shows her the hidden hatch in the floor that opens to the Jeffries tube which should have led to the Captain’s yacht, if it had ever been built. 

Kathryn confides that there were times when she left her combadge on the desk and concealed herself in the tube when the vastness of the Delta Quadrant threatened to be too much for her fragile psyche. She had created a safe space for herself, and the voluminous cushions are still there, forming a cocoon against the airlock. Beverly climbs in after her and holds Kathryn as they snuggle into the tight space. 

Kathryn says that for the first time this hatch does not feel like a hide away. It feels like home.

***

Beverly takes Kathryn to see the Enterprise-D before they leave the museum. She warns that it has seen better days but wants to share it with Kathryn nonetheless. 

When the turbolift gets stuck, Beverly swears it wasn’t pre-arranged. But she still takes advantage of their predicament and pushes Kathryn up against the bulkhead while they wait to be rescued. 

***

As they grow closer, they learn that they do not always need words, because they can read each other’s body language and microexpressions, and sometimes words just get in the way. 

They hold entire conversations across a crowded room without a word and the first time Beverly says “I love you” is with a brief squeeze of the hand when Kathryn rescues her from a droning admiral in the lobby of Starfleet Headquarters. When they get far enough away, Kathryn reciprocates the sentiment wordlessly as well.

***

They spend most nights now in Kathryn’s apartment in San Francisco because it is close to work, but they spend weekends at the Château so that Beverly can be with her family. They drink far too much wine and more often than not collapse in a jumble of limbs into the antique four poster bed in Beverly’s room.

In the mornings they all have breakfast together: Beverly and Kathryn, Jean-Luc and Laris, and Jack. Kathryn expects it to be uncomfortable at first but is pleasantly surprised to find that it is not.

They have coffee, and someone other than Kathryn makes breakfast. Beverly teases that Kathryn isn’t allowed to cook because Beverly doesn’t want to have to work on her day off. Kathryn huffs indignantly and rolls her eyes, but eventually has to admit that Beverly is probably right. 

While everyone else is busy in the kitchen, Kathryn takes her coffee on the terrace and enjoys the morning air while Jean-Luc’s pitbull lounges at her feet. When it isn’t Beverly’s turn to cook, she joins Kathryn on the terrace and the two cuddle together in the lounge chair, taking turns drinking from Kathryn’s coffee cup. 

Kathryn feels completely at peace on these mornings: fresh air, coffee, a dog, and Beverly are all she needs. When she tells Beverly as much, her eyes get misty and she is at a loss for words so she kisses the top of Kathryn’s head and pulls her in tighter. Even without words, Kathryn understands. 

On Sundays, Laris often makes Aemarau turnovers because she says they remind her of home. 

Before long, the turnovers begin to remind Beverly and Kathryn of home too.

***

They never discuss it formally, but over time Beverly’s room at the Château becomes “their” room.

It feels official and permanent when, for Kathryn‘s birthday, Beverly surprises her by having a double ended tub built into the room’s private balcony. It reminds Kathryn of another bathtub, under other stars, in another lifetime. She declares this one to be infinitely superior because it comes with Beverly.

That evening, amidst vanilla scented bubbles, they make love under the stars.

Neither says the words out loud, because they don’t need to, but as they simultaneously succumb to bliss, they both know this fundamental truth: 

All of the pain in their past, all of the guilt, the lost loves, and even the Borg, were all worth it because it led them here.

Here, to this perfect moment.

Here, at the edge of forever.