Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

new messages from UNKNOWN NUMBER

772-858-####

hi wanna play fortnite

we can drop at tilted towers 😉😏

Stanley Uris:

Wtf

Richie, I swear if this is you

772-858-####

actually I'm no richie buster

srry to burst your bubble or whatevs

anyways you

me

tilted towers????

Stanley Uris:

No thanks

I'm not a gamer

772-858-####

BOOOOOOOOOO

*throws tomatoes*

Stanley Uris:

Wtf

Why are you roleplaying??

I'm getting severe second hand embarrassment

772-858-####

*James/16/single/alpha hybrid/popular/don't make me angry/don't touch my tail/dark evil prince*

Stanley Uris:

Yeah ok I'm just gonna block this number now

772-858-####

NO

I SWEAR IM NORMAL

I NEED A FRIEND TO PLAY FORTNITE WITH 😥

Stanley Uris:

Yeah well I think I can tell why you don't have friends

772-858-####

ok numbnuts

Stanley Uris:

Nope not happening

772-858-####

HAHHAHA NUMBNUTS
message failed to delivered

WHAT
message failed to deliver

WTF NUMBNUTS
message failed to deliver

new messages with 🚨DON'T ANSWER🚨

STAN IS NOT A MAN:

I don't know what you did

But I do not want to play fortnite with you

🚨DON'T ANSWER🚨

wtf idk what ur talking abt dude

i always force erds to play fortnite with me 😜

STAN IS NOT A MAN:

I hate the fact you just called Eddie 'erds'

But that's not the point

This random number was texting me asking to play fortnite and not gonna lie, that sounds very Richie Tozier to me 🤷♀️

🚨DON'T ANSWER🚨

LIES AND SLANDER

i have an alibi n e ways

my lawyer has been with me all day

STAN IS NOT A MAN:

Don't tell me your lawyer's 'erds'

🚨DON'T ANSWER🚨

yes he is

and he takes offence to that

STAN IS NOT A MAN:

I need to check your alibi then

new messages in LOSERS CLUB OFFICIAL

BORING DON'T REPLY:

Can anyone vouch for Richie

He's in desperate need of an alibi

a homo:

I vouch for him as his self appointed lawyer

BORING DON'T REPLY:

But it could have been a two man job 🤨

menace to society:

a phone number scam does not need two people 🙄

BORING DON'T REPLY:

Then who's supplying the phone asshole

BORING DON'T REPLY:

It's a Florida area code and Eddie has that cousin from Florida

a homo:

I literally haven't spoken to mitch since I was like 9

the alpha:

ok what happened this time

BORING DON'T REPLY:

This random number texted me asking to play fortnite and it has to be a prank by one you guys

our sanity:

just block them??? then richie will have no choice but to fess up

menace to society:

WHY ME

menace to society:

HE SAID ONE OF YOU GUYS

our sanity:
that was code for probs Richie but i won't name names

literally GOD:

why don't you just send the number and we'll see if its familiar

BORING DON'T REPLY:

Well it's a Florida area code

BORING DON'T REPLY:

772-858-####

menace to society added 772-858-#### to
LOSERS CLUB OFFICIAL

a homo:

WTF RICHIE WHY

a homo:

THEY COULD BE A PEDOPHILE

772-858-####:

I'm actually not a pedophile sir homo

772-858-####:

my name is Shay 🙄

772-858-####:

also HI NUMBNUTS

772-858-####:

UNBLOCK ME PLS <3333

BORING DON'T REPLY:

...

menace to society:

NUMBNUTS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??

menace to society:

I LOVE IT

menace to society changed BORING DON'T
REPLY to numbnuts69

772-858-####:

atleast someone here appreciates my talent

numbsnuts69:

There's hardly any talent to appreciate

the alpha:

be nice stanley

numbnuts69:

First of all, you just casually doxxed me 🙄

numbnuts69:

Second of all, THEY BOTH CALLED ME NUMBNUTS

menace to society:

but are your nuts numb?

772-858-####:

great question!

a homo:

NO

a homo:

NO ONE WILL BE ANSWERING THAT

numbnuts69:

Wasn't going to

772-858-####:

Wow numbnuts

772-858-####:

I just don't understand you 😢

772-858-####:

first we play tilted towers together

772-858-####:

then we tell each other our names

772-858-####:

now you hate me 😢😭

menace to society:

way to go numbnuts you just made
our new friend cry

772-858-####:

yeah! don't you know its rude to make a girl cry 😭

numbnuts69:

Half of what was said was false and I'm sure Eddie agrees that you should get booted

772-858-####:

NO

772-858-####:

I HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN A COOL NICKNAME

772-858-####:

IM JUST BORING OLD 772-858-####

numbnuts69:

No point in a cool nickname since we're kicking you right now

menace to society:

GREAT IDEA STAN THE MAN

menace to society changed 772-858-####
to shayinator permanent

Chapter Text

shayinator permanent

my first decree since being permanent is to play fortnite as a group activity 🥰

the alpha

nope nvm 

Stan kick her out 

menace to society 

QHAT NO

shayinator permanent 

YEAH WTF 

is it because I'm technically the omega of the pack 😢

numbnuts69 

Because you just referred to us as a pack

menace to society

BUT ARENT WE

BILLS THE ALPHA 

ME YOU BEN MIKE AND BEV ARE THE BETAS

AND EDS AND SHAY ARE THE OMEGAS 

the homo

I will strangle you 

shayinator permanent 

there's no shame in being an omega sir homo ☝️

the homo

I beg you not to call me that

numbnuts69 

Just get Richie to play fortnite with you 

shayinator permanent 

sorry not sorry but I'm determined to get sir numbnuts to play fortnite with me 😁

numbnuts69

Keep calling me that and I'll be bombing the entire state of Florida

shayinator permanent 

he knows I'm from florida 😰

literally GOD

it's in ur area code dude

shayinator permanent 

whoopsies 🤣😂🤣😂😂😂

literally GOD

I fear for my sanity

mike's gonna have to work overtime 

shayinator permanent 

dw God I am perfectly sane 😁

numbnuts69 

I think the fact that you're the only one using emojis says everything

menace to society 

YOU REVOKED MY EMOJI RIGHTS

our sanity

you were sending inappropriate language 

menace to society 

🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖🐖 IS NOT INAPPROPRIATE 

I was just making a pig centipede like they did in the movie 😊

shayinator permanent 

inappropriate language you say 😏  

 like… 

boobies 😨😨😨😨😨

menace to society

yes

tons of boobies

the alpha

how about we don't say boobies???

shayinator permanent 

very inappropriate of me 😔😔

n e ways u me tilted towers? you know you want to numbnuts 😏😏😏

numbnuts69 

I hope a tilted tower falls on you and crushes you

the homo

wait tilted towers as in the twin towers??? 

menace to society

WHAT

literal GOD

that's it I'm leaving

the alpha

why on gods green earth would it be like the twin towers????

the homo

BECAUSE TILTED??? TOWERS???

shayinator permanent 

does that mean that 9/11 is canon in the fortnite cinematic universe 🤨🤨🤨

our sanity

peter griffin exist in the fortnite cinematic universe as well

numbnuts69

Can we revoke Mike's sanity rights? 

menace to society

HOLD ON LET HIM COOK ‼‼

shayinator permanent 

numbnuts wants me to die from 9/11 yall 😭😢

numbnuts69

I'll do it myself if I have to

menace to society

we got him guys roll in

shayinator permanent 

numbnuts origin story

is that why ur nuts are numb? 

cause you blew them off in the tragedy 🤨🤨

menace to society

wait you might be onto something

numbnuts69

😐😑😐😑😐

the hetero

GUYS I'M BACK FROM STUDY HALL AND YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED 

menace to society

stfu stan just hit the pentagon

literal GOD

Richard.

menace to society

WOW BENNY BOY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU'RE SUCH A NICE GUY

shayinator permanent 

number 1 glazer 🤣😂 

literal GOD

let's remove the permanent off that name shall we. 

shayinator permanent 

UR BEYOND GORGEOUS AND SUCH A NICE PERSON ILY AND WANT TO HUG YOU FOREVER

the homo

can we remove her anyways??

menace to society

🥺🥺

the homo

fine you asshole

don't remove her

see if I care 

shayinator permanent 

that's kind of gay yalls 🤨🤨

don't tell me richard is a

a

homosexual 😨😨

the alpha

born and raised

menace to society

they gayest of gays 🤠🤠🤠

our sanity

the boobs thing was a diversion

shayinator permanent 

I feel…

betrayed.

only person to trust now is sir numbnuts 😢😢

numbnuts69

I hope you get hit by a FedEx truck

shayinator permanent 

:((((((

numbnuts69 

a soccer mom car

shayinator permanent 

:((

numbnuts69

Eddie's moms lame ass car

shayinator permanent 

:D

the homo

what the fuck 

shayinator permanent 

dont worry mr homo 

I'm sure someone will donate a reasonable amount to fix ur mother's lame ass car 😁😁

the homo

fuck it 

let's play fortnite so I can blow your head in and not get arrested 

the alpha

you sound like a republican gun owner

shayinator permanent 

I would love to take the offer sir homo

I'm actually quite the gorilla at fortnite tho so I can't say you'll succeed in such task

but i wont join unless my number 1 bestie joins

menace to society 

:D

shayinator permanent 

sir numbnuts 😁😁

menace to society

:(

numbnuts69

Not gonna happen.

the homo

you're playing the fucking game with Stanley 

if I have to chain you to a motherfucking chair I will do it

shayinator permanent 

GO HOMO

GO HOMO

numbnuts69 

No.

the homo went offline

menace to society 

😨😨

the hetero

So about my study hall!!

Chapter Text

shayinator permanent

guys

bad news

menace to society

WHAT 😟😟

shayinator permanent

i got banned

in fortnite.

the alpha

i’m scared to ask how that happened

shayinator permanent

turns out fortnite doesn’t like it when you tell a bunch of 13 year olds that you’re the one who killed charlie kirk 😒😒

menace to society

there goes my weekend plans

the homo

so that means no more dropping at tilted towers?

shayinator permanent

for now 😒

i need to grind on my new account so i won’t be a loser lvl 1 player 🙄

numbnuts69

The skies have cleared

There’s even a little pep in my step now

shayinator permanent

i was just doing gods work 😔😔

our sanity

as the sanity of our group i’d like to confirm that

literal GOD

you cannot tell me the shit on the bullet casings was not ‘shayinator permanent’

menace to society

*notices bulge* OWO

the alpha

dude not in front of my breakfast

i swear to god georgie is right beside me and if he even averts his eye a little and sees this im beating your ass

shayinator permanent

who tf is georgie??

yall seeing other people?? 😟😟

the alpha

nahh it’s my little brother

the homo

you literally have no sense of internet safety

we need a team meeting to discuss the dangers of the internet and how to be safe

shayinator permanent

exactly cause i’m literally making a folder of all your information to drop if you ever kick me out of the gc 😁

menace to society

great! my full name is richard wentworth tozier i was born march 7th at the derry emergency hospital i go to derry public high school and drive a beat up handmedown truck and i can give you the license plate if you need more info 😁

the homo

what the FUCK

delete this shit IMMEDIATELY

shayinator permanent

i have officially been out freaked cause wtf 😟

numbnuts69

Richard i swear to god if you give out any other personal information i will jump you.

menace to society

with those noodle arms you can’t 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

our sanity

you seem to forget i spent my entire childhood working on a farm and Stan’s my day 1

menace to society

😟😟

shayinator permanent

i will be adding that to the folder ✍️

the homo

DAMN IT MIKE

the hetero

but like that’s way too vague to track any information from that

not counting everything richie just dropped

shayinator permanent

GUYS IM NOT A PEDOPHILE 🥺🥺🥺

i’m a clean citizen with a clean record and definitely not a middle aged man 😁😁

menace to society

that’s enough for me 👍

numbnuts69

That’s the only clean thing about you it seems

shayinator permanent

😟😟

that actually did gag me

i’m thoroughly impressed numbnuts69 ☺️

the homo

that would probably destroy me

but as the most sanitary person of this group, yall could never actually say that to me without being clowned

sorry, made fun of

shayinator permanent

that really doesn’t surprise me with mr menace to society here

definitely not sanitary

the homo

you have no idea

menace to society

guys can we go back to making fun of Stan i don’t like this 😟😟

shayinator permanent

i never make fun of anyone

i’m a very kind person ☺️

numbnuts69

Hilarious.

shayinator permanent

thank you, i try 😁😁

numbnuts69

Try harder. Somethings clearly not working

shayinator permanent

🤣🤣🤣🤣

you know just how to make a girl blush 🥰🥰

menace to society

LITERALLY

always has me twirling my hair with his death threats 🥰🥰

shayinator permanent

slipping into the dms as we speak 🥰🥰