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Chapter Text

Sirius hadn’t been expecting what had occurred that night, she doubted anyone was. Not the paintings nor the portraits had a clue what would happen only half an hour after dinner had been served. But Sirius remembers it, she wishes she didn’t. She wishes she could just forget the vulnerability on both hers and her brother's faces as she helped him run and he told her to be safe. She wants a way to remember him but not with blood streaming down his face and fidgeting nerves from an unforgivable curse. But fate was cruel, and Sirius wasn’t one of its favourites. So that is what she got. 

Dinner hadn’t been nice, but Sirius ate it anyway. Only two thirds as she could feel her mother keeping a careful eye on her plate, Regulus was quiet, which was typically a good sign. 

“Well, Sirius, your report card from Beauxbatons came this morning.” Orion began.

“Oh, what did you think?” She asked with attentive eyes. 

“It’s good, although you only got a 83% on the second Transfiguration essay, what’s that about?” She felt her heart sink, it was still the best grade in the year but she knew that wouldn’t be good enough.

“Mademoiselle Dubois told me I strayed off of the topic for a moment in the fourth paragraph. But she did say it was the most impressive one of the year.” She tried with a polite smile, she could see Regulus staring at her in her peripheral vision. They both knew how these days would go.

“I’m disappointed in you.” Despite how frequently she’d heard such a thing directed at her, it still hurt. It still made her stomach drop, and her eyes glossy.

“I’m sorry, Father-” She began but was cut off by the sound of utensils hitting the mahogany table.

“That’s fucking ridiculous!” Regulus began, Walburga gave him a firm glare, one that neither of them had any form of care for. One that meant they wouldn’t be spared tonight. If it was given to Regulus it’d mean he’d be beaten and bruised the next morning, and if given to Sirius it meant the same except the beating was done by one of their pureblood friends after she’d been sold to them for the night.

“Regulus,” Sirius whispered faintly but fast. He didn’t spare her a glance.

“Sirius is the top student in her year and has been for the past four years. No one can beat her, so why the fuck are you mad at her over a couple marks. You’re pathetic, you need things completed to the highest standard by us but all you do is hire other people to do it for you.” 

“Watch your mouth, Regulus. This attitude is unacceptable.” Father began as Mother stood up, she pulled out her wand and pointed it directly at Regulus. 

“Close your mouth you filthy Gryffindor, you think you have any right to talk to us like that? Even after we allowed you to stay here despite your disgraceful sorting. How disappointing.”

“Mother, please!” Sirius cut in as Walburga’s wand reached Regulus’ neck. 

“Quiet! This started because of you, Sirius. You’ll be lucky if I decide not to send you to Riviera again, you understand?” 

“ …Yes mother.” She whispered, as much as she loved Regulus she wasn’t sure if she could handle going to Riviera’s again, she’d already been in the past fortnight, and she doubts that the man will play nice just because she’s a regular. Walburga whipped her head back to Regulus.

“Now, Regulus, what makes you think you have any right to yell at your father and I like that? Hm?” Sirius sent Regulus a pleading look, practically begging for her little brother to back down.

“Oh please, you aren’t parents, you’re pathetic bigots and I can say what I want.” He didn’t. Walburga threw a curse at Regulus and sent him flying into the cabinet behind them, Sirius watched in fear as the glass shattered and Regulus fell. As she looked back to the chain of events later, from the comfort of her bed, sitting in tears and with a bandaged temple, she recognized this instance as the moment she started mourning a brother who she had yet to lose.

“How dare you!” Sirius watched as her mother began throwing hexes and curses left and right, some of them didn’t even hit Regulus but every single one of them hit Sirius, not physically, as much as she wishes she could shield him from it, she wished she could run to him and protect her little brother, but she couldn’t, even if she tried, she knew her father would grab her away. Sirius felt every hex with a tightening feeling in her heart and every curse with a sickening ache in her stomach and a prick in her eyes. She wanted to help him, to hold him. But could she? No, that was obvious. So Sirius watched with tear filled eyes as her brother was being pushed close to death. But she didn’t intervene. At least not until her mother pushed too far. 

“Crucio!” 

“Stop it! Mother!” Sirius rushed forward, she made it two steps before her hand was grabbed by her father and she was pushed into the hallway. 

“Go to your room, Sirius!” He growled. Sirius paused before turning away from him. She walked past the stairs and to the room she dreaded most, the room that housed the incestuous map of her family. Sirius stared at her brother's name, she knew that in a matter of hours it would be covered in ash and scorch marks. 

“Kreacher!” She whispered in a harsh tone, he appeared in an instant.

“Yes Mistress Sirius?” 

“What is about to happen you cannot tell Mother, Father, or anyone. What happens in this house within this hour stays between us, am I clear?” 

“Mistress, I can’t disobey Master Orion, or Mistress Walburga?” Kreacher swore. He had such a commitment to them that Sirius, when she was younger, had frequently considered an intervention for the house elf. 

“But you can me?” 

“No, Mistress! Kreacher would never.”

“Good, then don’t. You aren’t disobeying a single order are you?” 

“No, Mistress...”

“Then there's nothing to worry about, however if you do tell someone, you’ll be disobeying my direct orders. Do you want to do that?”

“No Mistress.” 

“Excellent.” Sirius smiled as she pulled her wand from her thigh holster. 

Sirius stayed close to the wall of the entryway, on the right side, she wasn’t seen. She was sly when she needed to be. She could hear the sounds of her brother’s vulnerability, a dead man's cries to survive; Sirius would make sure he did. 

“You are a disrespectful little brat! Do you know how many children would kill to be you?” Walburga screeched, she was awfully good at that. Sirius tightened her grip, her palms were sweating but the wand never moved an inch. She moved to the side of the door and looked into the living room that they had moved the fight into. Regulus was lying on the floor, his body constantly convulsing in pain, his face a hard and pained expression. Sirius could feel tears of frustration and anger in her eyes but she didn’t allow it to stop her. She crept up behind her father, who’s back was to her and whispered the stunning jinx to him before briskly moving from his way as he fell. Her mother turned to see the source of the noise and saw him, she attempted to call out to him but as she did Sirius got to her first.

“Stupefy!” Sirius yelled and her mother turned just in time to see the jet of red light before falling immediately. Sirius rushed over to her brother and helped him up. “Breathe, Regulus.”

“Did you-” he dissolved into a painful cough, “Sirius, you- they’re unconscious! You attacked them.” 

“They attacked you!” She growled before helping him up.  “Your Gryffindor friends, which one can you go to now?”

“What?” 

“Answer the question.” Sirius snapped and walked upstairs, allowing Regulus a little room to breathe whilst also holding his arm up and making sure he wasn’t going to fall. 

“Um, fuck- probably James?” 

“Potter?” At Regulus’ nod Sirius continued, “Great, do you know his address?” 

“Yes?”

“Good, you’re running away.” 

“What?” Regulus whipped his head to Sirius as she opened his door.

“Reggie, you don’t want to be here, I can see it, you’re only staying for me, but I’ll be fine. I don’t want to be the reason you stay, I want to be the reason you survive.” 

“But…” 

“No,” she shut down his speech with a simple head shake, “pack your things, don’t take too much, I’m going to wipe their memories of how you got away and then replace them, okay?” 

“You don’t know that spell.” Regulus spoke with a sceptical stare as Sirius handed him a suitcase. 

“I spend half my time in this house in the library, and I have my own room at Beauxbatons, I’ve been practising this shit for years.” Regulus stared at her with a rather impressed look, she winked at her brother before rushing downstairs. 

She stared with a wicked delight at the scene before her, her mother and father both passed out on the floor, and, impressively so, there wasn’t any alcohol involved this time. Sirius revelled in the feeling for a moment more before getting to work. She kneeled beside her father first, he looked angry even when he wasn’t supposed to be expressive. 

“Obliviate.” She whispered and began twisting and turning the events of the dinner. To them the dinner was peaceful, or as close as it could get when it came to their family. To them the only thing of issue was Regulus’ silence. Throughout the night they were awoken and came downstairs to be knocked out by Regulus as he ran from the house. Hopefully by the time they wake up, Regulus will actually be gone and safe. Sirius turned to her mother and did the same, her only regret from the moment was not wiping their minds of her grade.

“Mistress Sirius?” Sirius’ head turned so fast at the voice she thought, for a moment, that she’d broken her neck.

“Fuck- Kreacher. Yes?” she asked, catching her breath from the jumpscare. 

“What has happened?” He asked and gestured to the ground. 

“I don’t know, I’ll deal with it, like I said, not a word of this to anybody. Mother and Father will be furious, as will I.” Kreacher nodded with a fearful expression. 

“Yes, Mistress Sirius. Is there anything Kreacher can do for you.” You can start with fucking right off. 

“No, Kreacher. I’ll call you if I need you, now leave.” He nodded and resigned himself to the depths of Grimmauld Place. 

Sirius walked back upstairs, expecting Regulus to still be clambering around in his room but instead her bedroom door was open. Sirius entered and saw Regulus sitting on her bed and staring at the framed photo she had of them, Alphard had given it to her as a gift and she has cherished it since. 

“It’s a nice photo, yes?” 

“Beautiful, I- um... Thank you, Sirius.” Regulus whispered. 

“Anytime, Mon amour. You know I’d do it again.” 

“I do.” He smiled and laughed, a wet laugh. Sirius then paid more attention to the part of Regulus’ face she could actually see, and at that moment realised that he was crying.

“Hey what’s wrong?” She asked and sat beside him, blatantly aware by the ticking of her clock that they were low on time. 

“I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t stay.” He cried as she pulled him into a hug. 

“I know, I understand, Mon Petit Lion.” 

“But, you’ll be alone without me here, and they’ll send you to Riviera.” Sirius smiled as she remembered that she’d removed their memory of that moment. 

“I’ll be okay, Reggie. I promise you.” She whispered and kissed his cheek. “You’ll be okay with the Potters.” 

“Yeah, they’re great. They’d love you… Can’t you come with me?” He was crying again, likely from both the shock of the Cruciatus curse and also the overwhelming flow of his emotions.

“... No, Reggie I can’t, you know that…” 

“I know” He said and rubbed his eyes as he sat up, Sirius' stomach dropped as she recognized the moment about to occur as their final goodbye. Sirius stood up and walked to the door, Regulus took one last look around, his eyes caught the photo again. 

“Take it.” Sirius said with a nod. 

“I can’t do that.” 

“I want you to, Regulus. Please, take it. Consider it a souvenir, you know, if you want.” Regulus smiled and nodded before picking up the frame and carefully placing it into the suitcase before zipping it and following after Sirius. Sirius smiled as she heard his following footsteps, she walked down the stairs and passed the still unconscious bodies of her parents, picking up a hair tie on the way and tying up her hair into a loose bun, why? Something to do. She felt useless all of a sudden, she had always found her purpose in Regulus, and now he’s going before her and without her… 

“Regulus… don’t forget me, please.” She whispered as they reached the door. Regulus hugged her and she reciprocated the action swiftly. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek to comfort him as she had done when they were younger.

“I couldn’t and I wouldn’t.” He smiled, “I love you, Sirius. Be safe.” 

“I love you, too, mon etoile.” She sniffed as tears began falling, she wiped them before Regulus could see and regret his decision. Regulus picked up his bag and opened the door to the outside world and with a singular look back and a tight smile, he left. When the door shut Sirius stayed silent for a moment, she could hear the rustling of her father awakening, so without having time to mourn or to cry she immediately hit her head into the corner of the wall and successfully cut her temple, she then sunk to the ground. Laying still and sad in a slowly growing puddle of blood that she hoped wouldn’t stain her hair. Sirius drifted off as her parents awoke, her mind filled with the memories of before her brother had been engulfed into the world Sirius had tried to shield him from. 

“Siri, Uncle Alphard said we can’t wander off!” Regulus yelled as he chased after his older sister, the girl with jet black hair and a blinding smile just giggled and walked into the bookstore from central London. She had experienced Muggle London only twice before but it felt like home to her, more than her actual one did. She walked inside and took off her beige beret that she’d worn whilst in Paris with her Uncle, she preferred their style. 

“What are we doing here?” Regulus whispered as he caught up with her. 

“Pick out a book, and I’ll read it to you tonight.” Sirius declared with a soft smile. Regulus’ face lit up and he speed-walked over to the classics section. She watched with a delicate expression as he searched for a book. 

Sirius stared at the book Regulus had chosen, The Iliad, Homer. She was enthralled by the title and it appeared Regulus was as well. She nodded and took it from him, handing it to the woman at the bookstore who gave him a sweet and motherly smile – was it motherly? Sirius hadn’t really ever seen motherly. It was a hardcover copy, meaning it was rather expensive, but that look on Regulus’ face when she’d handed it to him was enough. 

“Why’d you buy me a book?” Regulus asked as Sirius and him walked back to Diagon Alley to attempt to find their Uncle.

“Because I’m going to Beauxbatons for school soon, Reg. We won’t see each other as often. So I thought, maybe, whenever you miss me, read this and think of me; your older sister, who is always willing to comfort you, and spoil you.” 

“I won’t miss you for that long! I’m older now,”

“Right,” Sirius giggled, “and as everyone knows: You stop experiencing any form of emotion when you get older.” Regulus rolled his eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“Oh please, you’re going to miss me so much.” 

“No I won’t.” Regulus pouted as the siblings walked past the quidditch supplies shop. 

“Do you want to know a secret?” Sirius asked, choosing a bench to sit at outside Gringotts, where she was sure her Uncle was. 

“Yes!” Regulus nodded and sat next to her. Sirius leant closer to his ear and then whispered:

“I’m going to miss you so much, Reggie.”

“Sirius!” Somebody was shaking her awake, perhaps it was Regulus, asking for the sequel to the book she’d bought him, she opened her eyes and prayed to be greeted by her brother’s face. Instead there was her mother, she was holding a cloth to Sirius’ temple. “What happened to you?” Sirius paused before answering, carefully and planned. 

“There was a banging downstairs, I came to check it out and I saw Father and you unconscious, I saw Regulus leave. I tried to make him stay, mother! You have to believe me.” She begged with dreary eyes and dried blood coating her cheek. 

“I do, my daughter, I do. Come, let’s get Kreacher to sort this out. I can't believe that wretched boy would hurt his older sister. No respect for anyone!” She gestured to the injury that Sirius had given herself in hopes that they’d think it was Regulus and maybe she’d be able to survive with them like he couldn’t, thankfully it worked. Sirius nodded and allowed her mother to help her up, walking alongside her to Sirius’ room. Despite the picture frame being little more than the size of a pocket notepad, Sirius felt its absence thick in the air, her mother led her to the bed where the woman then called for Kreacher, clearly deciding that her ‘Being a Mother’ quota had been filled for the decade. Kreacher had entered with a weary stare at Sirius, the girl gave him a glare before he walked over and cleaned off, then bandaged, her temple. There was a thick silence between them and Sirius intended to keep it that way, she never cared for Kreacher’s rudeness, however there were moments he could be alright, she doubted she’d see any more of those though. He left quickly after the bandage was on, Walburga followed suit. Sirius ignored the absence of her brother, of her picture, and of the book she was certain Regulus had taken. She ignored the pain in her head, and in her heart. Instead she was electing to try and sleep, a futile task which resulted in her mindlessly scrolling through the events of tonight with a sad relief. She wondered what would’ve had to change for a different outcome, she wondered how many different outcomes there were. She stopped wondering when she began considering each of these outcomes. She stopped wondering the moment she began picturing what may have happened if she hadn’t stopped them. 

***

Regulus had barely held it together as Sirius kissed his cheek goodbye for what they both thought would be a long time. He barely held it together as he had run to London in animagus form, no one questioned the black cat running through the streets, mainly because it was too late for anyone to see or process that there was a black cat running through the streets. Regardless Regulus was grateful. He was unsure how cats cried but he was certain that it was happening to him, he was certain that he was crying; not that anyone could tell. When Potter Mansion finally came into view Regulus thought for a moment he may collapse due to relief, but he didn’t. He made it to the doorsteps and, in the cover of night, turned back into a human; for a moment he considered staying as a cat, not wanting to deal with the problems that came with free will and humanity, but he didn’t. Regulus knocked twice, fast and quiet. But, of course, the Potters opened the door, they had a sixth sense that revolved around strays, at least that’s what he’d always thought. 

“Regulus?” Monty. Fleamont Potter, Potioneer and father, Regulus was certain he cared more for the latter. 

“Um- hi. I’m sorry for the time, I can come back. Or actually I can leave, sorry this was stupid.” Regulus stammered over his words and began to turn around. Monty opened the door more and gently pulled him inside before he could leave. 

“Merlin! Regulus, Honey, what happened?” Euphemia asked as she entered the living room that Fleamont had led Regulus to. 

“I don’t- Sirius, she…” Regulus whispered before his eyes widened and he reached for the bag he’d shrunk when he changed forms. He watched in desperation as it changed size and Regulus immediately opened it, pulling out the last thing he’d placed inside. No cracks, no bends in the frame, no shattered glass, and the picture was still in one piece, a success. But Regulus didn’t cheer, instead he stared at his older sister in the photo, she’d just gotten out of School for the summer of her third year and Regulus had gone to surprise her with Uncle Alphard, Sirius was euphoric to see Regulus, she never stopped smiling that afternoon. She mentioned that for once she was okay that their holidays didn’t perfectly align, because it meant she could be greeted by him. She’s still in her Beauxbatons school uniform in the picture, a skirt just above her knees, and a light blue colour, contrasting strongly with her black hair, but Sirius made it work. Regulus’ breath hitched and he brought a hand up to his mouth, covering it in fear of sobs making themselves known, he was tired, he was sore, he was fidgety and bruised, but most of all he missed his older sister. Somebody sat down beside Regulus and placed a hand on his back, Regulus looked up and locked eyes with a sympathetic and careful stare that belonged to James Potter. 

“Fuck-” Regulus whispered as his tears began falling. 

“Lovely greeting, although I usually prefer ‘Hello.’” 

“Sorry, I-” 

“It’s okay, I was joking. Regulus… What happened to you?” 

“I got out…” He smirked through the tears, prideful as ever despite his yearning for his sister. 

“Good job, but- Reg, these tremors in your arm, what’s that from? Where are you injured?” James asked, Regulus hadn’t even noticed the tremors until he looked at his arms and saw them shaking violently. 

“She- Walburga-” Regulus’ breath hitched and suddenly he couldn’t speak, but he knew they had to know, “Cruciatus.” He whispered. James didn’t give anything away in his expression, but Regulus knew he was mad. His parents gasped. 

“...Regulus, is it alright if I work on some of your injuries, James can stay with you the entire time, Honey.” Regulus nodded and turned on the couch so that Effie could sit beside them once she returned with the gear and work on his neck, the cuts along it he was certain were the worst, he felt when the broken glass had torn into his skin, and while it as nothing compared to the cruciatus curse, he knew the healing process would be a bitch. 

“What’s she like?” James asked, referring to the girl in the photograph standing beside a second year Regulus. 

“She’s brilliant, she’s the best sister I could’ve asked for.” Fleamont entered the room alongside Euphemia, Regulus didn’t realise that he’d left, and handed them both a hot chocolate, Regulus accepted and sipped at it. Fleamont sat down in the armchair closest to James, while Euphemia sat beside Regulus and began working on his injuries. 

“Your sister, you mentioned her name when you arrived, why’s that?” Monty questioned in a careful tone, Effie shot him a look but Regulus was more than willing to talk about his sister, so he did. 

“She got me out. At dinner, my parents were scolding her for a grade she got at school, she got 83% on her Transfiguration Ethics essay, so they weren’t too pleased, but Sirius is not just a top student, she’s the top student, 83% was the best grade at the school, and Sirius has been on top for years, she’s brilliant! So when they were yelling at her for an essay she did well on I didn’t want to just sit and watch. So I told them to go fuck themselves, and it escalated rather quickly from there.” Regulus was interrupted by the green flames of the fireplace and out stepped Remus Lupin. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I figured you’d like the company.” Monty smiled, Regulus returned the expression. 

“Oh my fucking Merlin, what the fuck happened to you?” 

“Remus, language, Honey.” Effie shot up at him, he smiled guiltily at her. 

“You missed a bit but sit, we’ll catch you up,” James offered, he turned to Regulus and, in one look, asked if he was okay with Remus knowing, Regulus nodded, Remus was his closest friend, James was lovely and a brilliant- …friend. But Remus was someone who matched Regulus’ intelligence and energy, or lack thereof, unfathomably well. He was fine with him knowing the events of the night, in fact he was rather grateful for it. “Okay, so, so far, Regulus swore at his parents for being assholes to his awesome sister. Sounds about right?” 

“I’d say.” Regulus nodded. Remus did as well, looking rather intrigued. 

“Anyway, from then on they got quite mad at me, curses and hexes were thrown yada yada,” Regulus said, very much intentionally downgrading the extent of the injuries for the audience he’d gathered. “When my mother had used the whole unforgivable shit, Sirius had tried to stop her and in turn was sent away by our father. But, unfortunately for them, Sirius knows her way around that house better than anyone. She spent half our childhood sneaking me out of our parents’ way when they were angry, and typically it worked. Anyway, Sirius found her way to the living room door and snuck up behind our father and knocked him out, before doing the same to our mother.” Remus sucked in a breath and James smirked. 

“She sounds cool as hell,” James declared, Remus nodded in agreement. 

“She is. Anyway, she dragged me upstairs – not literally – and told me to pack my shit because she was making me run away… I told her she was ridiculous and she said that she didn’t want to be the reason I stayed and was inevitably killed. Anyway, I packed my things and she went to alter our parents’ memories.”

“That's not a spell she should know.” Monty cut in. 

“The Black Library is full of books on advanced spells and dark magic, she’s bound to pick up something, what matters is how she used it, and I’d say they had it coming.” Everyone nodded in agreement, Regulus hissed for a second as Effie wiped clean a larger cut on his neck. She mumbled an apology and Regulus nodded before continuing. “Anyway, she changed their memories, then she got me out. And now she’s still there. I asked her to come with me, I didn’t think any of you would mind, but she didn’t. She said she knew how to handle them, or something like that.” 

“Well she probably does, she’s older than you, yeah?” Remus asked

“Only by a year, she’s in your year level.” Regulus answered. 

“I want to meet her so bad, she sounds like she’d be so helpful with pra- school work.” James trailed off after getting a stern look from both of his parents. 

“She’s great, really smart, kind, honestly you’d be lucky to meet her. She’s also exceptionally beautiful, my parents always used that to their advantage.”

“How so?” Euphemia asked as she placed a bandage on the left side of Regulus’ neck, and then proceeded to begin working on the cut that bled on his cheek. 

“Well she’s a beautiful young woman, how do you think they’d use that to their advantage?” Regulus asked as he thought back to every moment a man had gotten too close to his sister at dinner parties, or the times he’d seen men staring at her body in awe. He elected to not think about every time she’d been sent to Riveria’s or some other of their parents’ pureblood friends, just to be used for the night as a punishment. 

“What type of parent would do that to their daughter?” Fleamont whispered. 

“They don’t care about either of us, never have, never will. Sirius accepted that long before me which is why she can always handle their criticisms and yelling, it hurts less to be yelled at by someone you know never cared about you. You’d prefer to be yelled at by a stranger than a loved one.” 

“I disagree, I think being yelled at by a stranger would suck.” James declared then, after looking at the disapproving expressions of the people around him, continued, “bad timing?” Remus nodded with an exasperated stare. 

“Anyway, she’s there, I’m here. There’s not much more to it.” 

“I am so certain you’re wrong about that, if I had a mortgage to bet, I would.” Remus scoffed. Regulus smirked. 

“Alright, well it’s eleven pm, Regulus would you like to rest, the healing for the cruciatus curse consists mainly of rest and healing potions, we can start you on them now or tomorrow depending on how you feel.” 

“Now would be great.” He declared as he felt the aftershock begin to settle in his bones. Euphemia nodded and gestured to Fleamont who also nodded before rushing downstairs to grab some from his study.

“I’m going to keep you two together so James can keep an eye on you, Regulus.” They both nodded, “James go and set up the spare mattress, please. And do note that you are the one sleeping on that, not Regulus.” 

“I gathered as much.” James smiled at his mother, she did the same. 

“Okay, Remus, do you want the normal room or would you like to stay with James and Regulus”

“I’m fine with my normal one, please.” Remus answered. 

“All good, from what I know it’s still set up, if you need anything be sure to ask.” Remus nodded and went upstairs. Regulus picked up his bag and photo, Effie quickly proceeded to take the bag from him and then gestured for him to go up the stairs, for once he didn’t try to fight the help. 

“So… are you alright?” James asked from his place on the floor. Regulus nodded slightly, he knew James was watching him, so he didn’t answer verbally, feeling no need to do so. “If you’re sure, but you know you can always talk to me, even if it is just about how awesome your sister is, I’m always willing to listen.” James stated and Regulus smiled. Despite how calm he had seemed about the events when discussing them earlier, he wasn’t. He was terrified, Sirius was still there and despite how well versed she was with their parents’ behaviour, he knew she wasn’t safe. Alongside that, Regulus was still in immense pain due to the aftermath of an unforgivable. 

“...It hurts, James. A lot. But it’s more than physical, like… I didn’t know that they had such strong aftershocks but they do, I suppose I should’ve guessed.” 

“It’s normal with them, or so I’d assume. Is there anything I can do to help?” Yes, Regulus wanted to say, he wanted to ask him to hold him and reassure him that everything would be okay. But he did no such thing, so much for Gryffindor bravery. 

“No, I don’t suppose there is. Thank you, though.” Regulus whispered. 

“Alright. The pain potion should kick in soon, it’ll probably make you drowsy as well, try and get some rest, Reg.” Regulus nodded once more before curling up under the blanket that belonged to James and closing his eyes. Regulus tried to fall into a sleep he hoped would be dreamless and absent from the events of the past six hours. He ignored the part of him that began wondering if his sister would be this comfortable currently, or if she’d be with that pathetic pureblood that their parents seemed insistent on having her visit. He wondered for a moment if she was safe, or if she was hurt. He wondered if she had escaped unscathed, or if she had been yelled at by their parents. He wondered if she missed him as much as he did her. He didn’t think it was humanly possible but his sister always had a knack for proving people wrong. Fuck he missed her, he could only hope they’d figure out how to talk to each other throughout the next few years of their life, Regulus is unsure if he’d survive on radio silence from the woman who raised him. With a sad smile and tears falling down his face once again, he closed his eyes and attempted to sleep.

Chapter Text

It had been three weeks since Sirius’ life had fallen apart, three weeks since the boy she practically raised had run away. She’d say she’s handling it well, considering she helped him get away she refused to allow herself to dwell on the absence she helped provide. Sirius was sitting at her desk, reading her Transfiguration textbook for her fifth year when she heard his voice. 

“Sirius, come down here.” Orion’s voice had pounded throughout the hallway, Sirius jumped immediately from her desk chair and left the room.

“Good afternoon, Father, Mother.” she greeted, walking calmly down the staircase. They grunted mindlessly in reply. There was silence, not tense, not awkward, but not comfortable. Just silence. Just as it had been before Regulus’ chair scraped the ground and he began yelling. Her Mother broke it.

“Sirius, take a seat.” No criticisms yet, a good sign. She did as was asked of her. “Your Father and I have decided to pull you from Beauxbatons and enrol you in Hogwarts, it’s been discussed with both Schools and, although difficult, we have succeeded, you will be attending Hogwarts for the rest of your studies.” No. She can’t go there. She was comfortable at Beauxbatons, speaking her native language, having a good reputation, and decent friends – She elected to ignore the fact that not one letter had come this summer. But how would her parents react to a no? It’s not a question really, they’d scream and burn her off that tree with so little reluctance that she’d feel it before she’d realise; that or they’d sell her off to a pureblood friend for the rest of the Holidays. 

“Okay, that sounds lovely.” She agreed with a tight but realistic smile on her lips. 

“That’s my darling daughter, good girl. You’re dismissed; Kreacher has put your Hogwarts subject choices at your door; choose from them before tomorrow morning and give them back to him; he’ll send them back to Dumbledore.” Walburga explained with a kiss to Sirius’ cheek. 

“Of course, thank you Mother, Father.”

Sirius whispered a small ‘thank you’ to Kreacher as she picked up the books, she was sure he heard. She entered and placed them on her desk before moving to her bed. She collapsed, laying on the soft fabric and allowing tears to pool in her eyes; not letting her wet mascara stain the sheets though; that’d be a pain. Tears ran down her face carefully, as if they weren’t sure which way to go; to her ears or to her cheek bones, maybe her chin, or even her, still healing, temple. They were faced with such a hard decision as she continued to move around. Not able to properly decide before gravity decided for them as Sirius stood up. They fell, as did her heart; but that was long ago. She sat at her desk, taking deep and shuddering breaths. 

“Fuck.” She whispered to anyone listening, she whispered to the empty soul of 12 Grimmauld Place; no one replied. Slowly Sirius opened the folder with her subject selections and descriptions of each subject and potential teachers. She read slowly over her mandatory classes. Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy and Herbology. Herbology was the only one she wasn’t sure about; the subject handbook told her nothing of what she’d have to know; students at Beauxbatons didn’t take Herbology, instead they took Arithmancy, it was mandatory from the beginning; unlike at Hogwarts where it was something you could pick up. She wrote in her Holiday planner to read each of the Herbology Textbooks in the Library. She then picked up the electives; Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Arithmancy, Study of Ancient Runes, and Muggle Studies. Muggle Studies is a no; her parents would kill her. Study of Ancient Runes is supposed to be quite difficult; and according to the booklet it would up her grades as a result of it being a harder class.  Arithmancy seemed a good option as she’d already done it; she understood it well, and it would be easier to do since Hogwarts students are only starting out properly; it’d be great, she could use the study time for it as catch up time. Divination was a bunch of Bullshit; a blatant no. Care of Magical Creatures, if only; she’d love to do that, but her parents have made their opinions on that class quite clear a few years back when Andromeda had taken it. Study of Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy. Good options. Sirius wrote it down on the form and signed her name. “Kreacher,” she called, louder than typical. Kreacher knocked at her door. “Come in.” 

“Yes, Mistress Sirius?” 

“Could you take that to be signed by Mother or Father; then send it to Hogwarts.” 

“Yes, Mistress, Kreacher can.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled and handed it to him. Sure her parents would be happy with her choices. 

“A pleasure, Mistress.” Kreacher left with a soft click of the door. Their previously tense atmosphere has since disintegrated within the three weeks and Sirius was profusely grateful for it. She stood up and left her room; despite longing for the bed, she had to study. She walked down to the Library of Grimmauld Place; her escape. Her Mother and Father cared little for the books; they only entered when they needed to lend a book to a friend; or needed specific instructions as to a dark spell or potion; which they’d likely give to someone else to do for them. Sirius sat in the library and ran through her newly edited planner; she had a good idea of the other subjects so she’d leave them for later in the Holidays, but Herbology and Study of Ancient Runes were ones unfamiliar to her. So she picked up every book in the Library for them and sorted through them. In total she found twelve for Herbology and 19 for Study of ancient Runes. After piling through each of their levels and how necessary the information inside was she was left with a pile of eleven total books to read. So, with a cup of tea from Kreacher on the Coffee table beside her, she began.

Platform 9 3⁄4 was a new experience, unlike at Beauxbatons where all the students just used the Floo network to reach the meeting point and from there go on the carriages, they used a train. Sirius stared at the waves of students and felt a slight discomfort at the numbers, her old school wasn’t small, not by any means, but it was separated by Junior and Senior, and boy and girl, the four sections virtually never merged, but she got the feeling Hogwarts did things quite differently. 

“Now, your father and I have business with the ministry in about half an hour so we can’t stay any longer, Sirius. I expect you to be on your best behaviour, do well this year. Do not communicate with Regulus at all, Sirius. You understand?” Her mother asked and put a hand on her chin to make eye contact. 

“Yes, Mother.”

“Good, now you’ve already been put in Slytherin, that’s all sorted.” Sirius had been sorted over the holidays, unwillingly but she didn’t have much else to do, plus she’d prefer that then being sorted in front of a whole school of judgemental students, “I’ve talked with Slughorn and he said he’d grab you before the dinner to discuss anything you’re unsure about. Don’t disappoint me, Sirius.” Sirius nodded at her mother. “Right, we’ll be leaving now.” Walburga stated, Orion nodded and waved as they both left. Sirius turned to face the train, a rather gorgeous one she must say. She searched through the waves of students for the one face she cared for. And she found it, staring right back at her. Regulus. He had a confused look upon his face and Sirius wasn’t that surprised by it. He gave her a slight smile and she wanted nothing more than to return it, then to smile back before making her way to him and engulfing him in a hug. But she didn’t do that. She had no choice, she’d heard her parents, any form of communication wasn’t allowed and she didn’t want Regulus to expect it, given the fact that she could barely handle one disappointed expression, let alone multiple. She, unwillingly, turned away from him and grabbed her bags, before walking onto the train. She’d been told by Narcissa via a letter what to expect when being a Slytherin. She had always said the best place to sit was to very last carriage before she reached the Slytherin dominated section, Narcissa said Slytherins don’t sit there because it isn’t part of their section, but any other house doesn’t because it’s too close to Slytherin, so if she was looking for quiet, that was her best bet. And she was most certainly looking for quiet. Sirius sat still and quiet in the compartment, she’d closed the curtains and pulled the first book she could find from her bag, The Price of Salt, Claire Morgan, and began reading, too engulfed in the book to even register when the train began moving. 

Sirius had finished the novel near the end of their trip and, after putting her book away, opened the curtains to be greeted with the plains of Scotland, a beautiful sight, unique in comparison to Sirius’ previous school of ethereal beings and beauty. Instead of the focus being modern beauty in pricey things, the focus was the natural feel; and Sirius quite liked it. The train came to a stop and Sirius heard as people began piling out of their compartments, she stood up and grabbed her bags, looking up when the compartment door opened and she was greeted by a new face. 

“Hey, Slughorn told me to find you, I’m Dorcas Meadowes, stick with me and I’ll make sure you don’t get lost, any questions?” She asked, Sirius shook her head and looked at the prefect badge on the girl’s robe. 

“No, thank you. I’m Sirius Black.” 

“I know, don’t be an ass and we’ll get along well.” Dorcas said and offered to help Sirius with her bags, Sirius smiled at the generosity and handed her the bag with her clothes, Sirius elected to keep her bag of supplies instead. “You know we have trunks?” Sirius stared at the girl with a look of slight amusement and confusion.

“What?” She asked

“Trunks, we have them at the end of our beds, they’re where we store most of our things.” 

“Oh, no, I didn’t. Narcissa didn’t mention that. Do they not have dressers?” Sirius asked as she made her way out of the train, Dorcas leant her a hand to ensure she wouldn’t fall.

“No, they don’t. What school did you go to before this?” Dorcas asked, her eyes trailing off to a group of Gryffindors with a smile. 

“Beauxbatons.” 

“Well that explains it, posh girl.” 

“Excuse me, I’m not posh, thank you very much.” Sirius defended with a glare, Dorcas, in turn, laughed. 

“Oh, please. You just defended yourself with ‘Excuse me,’ instead of swearing, maybe in adults that’d be normal but it’s not when your a teenager, not at this school at least, I get told to fuck off approximately six times an hour.” 

“Is it that bad?” Sirius asked with a nervous tinge to her voice, Dorcas shook her head as they followed a group of students in green robes. 

“No, it’s quite lovely, you just have to get used to it. Give it a month and you should fit in.”

“Right, a month, I can do that.” Sirius nodded.

“Well damn, give it a few if you’re trying that hard, you can’t try and get used to it, you just do. It’s how people adjust,” Dorcas said and smiled at Sirius reassuringly. Sirius nodded again.

“Okay, yeah, thank you.” 

“No worries.” She nudged Sirius’ shoulder in a way that felt friendly, a rather foreign experience for Sirius, “Oh also, ignore most of what Dumbledore says, it’s a load of shit to be quite honest, anything the he says that is actually true I’ll elaborate on later, but most of it is an attempt to scare the first years into acting proper. Never works though.” She smirked and Sirius did as well. “Okay, carriages are over this way, we’ll ride with some other fifth years, can’t tell you who it’ll be though.” 

“All good,” Sirius nodded along as Dorcas led her to a carriage, placing her bags down beside a rather short professor. 

“A Professor will have the elves take them to your dorm, probably Slughorn, he knows which dorm’s yours so he’ll have to tell them.” Dorcas advised before they entered the carriage. It was a black and undecorated carriage, but rather fancy nonetheless. After a minute or so, three more girls entered, Sirius suspected that they separated the girls and the boys because of course they did. 

“Cas, nice to see you, gorgeous,” a Gryffindor girl with blonde hair greeted with a wink. Sirius felt Dorcas tense beside her, although she was unsure why. 

“Yeah, nice to see you as well, Marlene. Holidays nice?”

“Lovely, wish they didn’t end.” ‘Marlene’ said and smiled before turning to Sirius. “Who’s this?”

“This is Sirius, she used to go to Beauxbatons but her parents transferred her.” Dorcas explained and Sirius offered a small smile and wave to the three, all of which stared at her with a strange look. 

“Sirius Black? What, Reg’s sister?’ Sirius’ heart sank, of course they’d know her by him, if not for the fact that Regulus had come here before her, then it was due to the fact they were Gryffindors.

“Yes,” Sirius stated calmly, Dorcas shot all three of the girls with a glare of disapproval. 

“I’m Mary Macdonald, this is Lily Evans, and that’s Marlene Mckinnon. We’re in your brother's house.” Mary offered with a kind smile. 

“Nice to meet you all, and I am aware, thank you…” Sirius trailed off, the girl, still with a bright smile, continued the conversation. 

“So, what electives did you take this year?”

“Um, I’m in Arithmancy and Study of Ancient Runes.” 

“Wow, that sounds difficult as fuck. Our darling Lily here is also taking Arithmancy, but also Divination. I think Remus might be taking the same subjects as you, though. That means your timetables will likely line up, you’ll probably have the same schedule.” Marlene declared. Sirius was unsure of who ‘Remus’ was but he seemed like a good person, considering Marlene seemed more than happy to talk about him. 

“Well I did Arithmancy at Beauxbatons so I already know the basics of it, which means it’ll probably be quite simple.” 

“Wait, then what class did you not take when you were younger?” Dorcas asked. 

“Herbology, although I think I have a decent understanding of it, I’ve read a few textbooks on it over the holidays.” Lily, for the first time, spoke up. 

“You spent your holidays reading textbooks?” She asked with a judgemental tone, Sirius, taken aback, just nodded. Marlene shot Lily a curious look.

“Well, I think it’s good, it’s nice to be ahead, although I can never bring myself to do it.” Mary smiled and tried to ease the air. Sirius appreciated it, quite a lot. But she doubted this ‘Lily’ girl did, Sirius didn’t know what it was but Lily seemed to have an immediate dislike for her. Sirius can’t blame her, she’s probably heard things about her family, either by Regulus or the paper. Either way, Sirius wasn’t sure they’d all be great. The air grew thick once more and the girls sat in silence.

“I’m sorry about how Lily acted back there, I have no idea what came over her. She’s typically a really kind person.” Dorcas apologised as they began making their way to the dorms, Sirius assumed she’d be rooming with Dorcas, given the fact that the girl seemed to know exactly what she was doing. Although Slughorn, despite what her mother had said, hadn’t even acknowledged her as of yet. 

“She’s friends with Regulus, yes?”

“Yes.” Dorcas nodded 

“She’s probably heard some things about me, or she assumes I’m like the rest of my family, she’s likely seen how they treat Reggie, meaning she thinks I’ve done it as well.” 

“Have you?” Sirius turned to her with an appalled look on her face, Dorcas seemed to regret her words. “Nevermind, sorry. Dumb thing to ask. Of course you haven’t.” 

“It’s alright, I don’t blame you for being curious… Now, this dorm room, who’s in it?” 

“Nobody.” Dorcas explained. 

“Oh, shit, am I stealing your privacy?” 

“No, you’ll be next door to me, but Slytherins, at least the seniors, get their own rooms. It’s bloody brilliant. There aren’t all too many Slytherins in our year, let alone girls. I don’t really get along with any of them anyway, that’s why I hang out with Marlene and that lot.” 

“Are they rude?” Sirius asked as the dungeon doors opened and revealed the common room. It was rather beautiful. Located under the black lake there was a green tint that haunted the room, it gave it an eerie feeling although it somehow seemed fitting. 

“Not to you they wouldn’t be, but they hate me. Come up this way.” 

“Why?” 

“You’re a pureblood, I’m a halfblood.” Sirius shifted uncomfortably, she hadn’t realised Dorcas was a halfblood, but the girl seemed so kind, caring, and just a lovely person. Besides Sirius had never cared for the ideology that her family stood for, she only followed it to not get in trouble. But Dorcas seemed worth it, she seemed like an actual friend, and Sirius needed one of those. She hadn’t realised how heavily she relied on Regulus being her form of proper socialisation until he was gone, she’s never felt so lonely. But maybe Dorcas could help her with that. “Don’t tell me, you’re just like them?” Dorcas asked as she reached the dorm room Sirius assumed was her own, she was staring at Sirius with a judgemental glare. 

“No! Never, just… Can we discuss this in private?” Dorcas reluctantly nodded before opening the door, allowing Sirius to pass, and then entering herself, locking it as well. 

“What exactly needs to be private about this discussion?” 

“Well, I don’t follow the same ideology as most of the purebloods, despite being introduced to it from such an early age, I’ve never cared for it. My family takes it too far and I hate it. But I can’t do anything about it. I wouldn’t judge anyone for their blood, mine’s red and yours is as well, what difference does our family make? But my family believes I do, there are certain things you have to follow in my home, and that’s the big one. If anyone knew I didn’t I’d be in deep shit.” Sirius explained, Dorcas wore a disgusted and sympathetic expression as she sat on Sirius’ bed. 

“Fuck. You don’t deserve that.” she whispered. 

“I don’t particularly have a choice, regardless…” Sirius smiled weakly and sat beside Dorcas, taking in the sight of the room but not feeling an ounce of excitement at the bland walls.

“Your family sounds fucked.” 

“It is, I hate it… I really shouldn’t be telling you this.” 

“I won’t tell anyone, besides I knew a bit from Regulus.” 

“You’re friends with him?” Sirius asked and stared at Dorcas expectantly. 

“Yeah I am, well more so Marlene, but she hangs out with that lot and in turn I know Regulus.”

“Hm…” Sirius thought to herself for a moment, she’d only known Dorcas for about three hours but she’d already told her more than she’d told anyone outside of her family, “I’d never hurt him, Dorcas.” 

“Who, Regulus?” Sirius nodded.

“Yes, I’d never. I helped him get out.” 

“Why?” 

“It’s either that or they’d do some form of irreparable damage.” Sirius whispered, as though she was scared that if she said it too loud then it’d become true.

“Would you ever leave?” Dorcas asked 

“I want to, but I don’t know if I will unless I have to.” Sirius admitted. 

“Well, if you ever need help getting out, ask me. I mean how pissed would they be? A halfblood and a black woman, fuck they’d be furious, we should totally do it.” Dorcas laughed, Sirius joined in. 

“Shit, they’d be furious.” 

“Well, I’m only a letter away, so feel free.” She smiled and stood up, “I’ve got to get unpacked, but I’ll see you before breakfast tomorrow, we could walk together?” Dorcas said and made a move to stand up.

“Yes, that’d be so great. Thank you, Dorcas. I’m sorry I got so deep, I didn’t mean to.” 

“Anytime, I’m always here. My shoulders are excellent for crying on.” Dorcas joked and Sirius smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Yeah. Goodnight!” Sirius said as Dorcas left, she heard a muffle ‘goodnight,’ in response, and Sirius couldn’t help but smile as she laid down on her bed. 

****

Classes, Sirius found, were rather simple. All she had to do was write notes and do the homework to be in the top group, but it helped to study as well. Mary had been right in assuming that Remus Lupin would be in all of her classes. She hadn’t had much interaction with the boy, but he was rather pretty, and quite intelligent, and also covered in scars, a mystery Sirius found herself entailed with. He’d introduced himself to her when they were assigned as potion partners in Slughorn’s class, Dorcas had called Marlene, and Remus’ friends had elected to go together as well. Apparently they normally end up as a trio but as Sirius didn’t have a partner, Slughorn was less lenient this year and put the two together. Sirius didn’t mind, out of the four of them she figured she’d prefer him, the others seemed to stuff around quite a lot, whereas Remus is actually willing to do work and contribute, a quality Sirius found rather admirable, if not a little attractive. Sirius had been hoping that they’d be able to talk in Arithmancy as well but that was swifty out of the way when Remus went and sat with Lily Evans, the girl still had a strong hatred for Sirius, and it appeared to be steadily growing. Sirius was unsure why but she also found she had no form of care. She had better things to focus on, or so she told herself, but there was always a little and insistent voice in her head saying that Lily had every reason to dislike Sirius, that Sirius deserved it. She didn’t disagree. 

Sirius’ first obstacle came in the form of a week-long nightmare: her period. For as long as she could remember Sirius had the worst periods ever, she knew they weren’t natural, Andromeda had explained that to her at a family dinner, but her knowledge of the issue alone did nothing, if her mother didn’t believe her, she didn’t get any help for it, and unsurprisingly so, her mother didn’t believe her, or more, she didn’t care. Sirius had told Dorcas about having bad periods and in turn Dorcas had offered comfort in any way she could, although Sirius refused to accept it originally. That was, until the peak of it, she found herself crawling out of bed and dragging herself over to the room across from hers, knocking raggedly with tears streaming down her face. The girl opened the door with a dreary stare that immediately went away when she saw Sirius’ pain. 

“Well fuck, you should be my new form of caffeine.” Dorcas had whispered as she helped Sirius into her bed, Sirius’ own was too far and she didn’t want to walk back, Dorcas didn’t seem keen on it either. 

“Fuck- it hurts.” Sirius whispered as Dorcas placed a blanket on her. 

“I know. Sirius, I’m going to grab a heat pack and a pain potion from Madame Pomfrey, I get cramps as well, not nearly this severe but nonetheless she’ll believe me. Although I definitely think you should tell her about this.” Sirius shook her head as she breathed heavily when another shot of pain hit her and she clutched her stomach. “Right, okay. I’ll be back as fast as I can.” Dorcas had then run from the dorm to the Medical Wing. Being a woman isn’t worth it.

Her second obstacle was a little more lengthy and complicated than a monthly occurrence. Sirius couldn’t properly say how frequent the occurrences were or when she expected them, because she didn’t know. They came in the form of her little brother, Regulus Black. He was everywhere and nowhere. When she was having issues to do with her parent’s expectations then Regulus suddenly appeared down the hall walking with Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew; and Sirius was rocked with the realisation that Regulus had actually gotten out, that Regulus got to leave far before her. And despite her part in his escape it always elicited such a severe amount of frustration and rage. She wanted that but she’d never get it. Because their heir was gone, they couldn’t take more disappointment as they tried to figure out the situation, Sirius had to do everything right and, from what she recalled, running away wasn’t right. Whenever Sirius wanted nothing more than to hug him and ignore any issues that would spur from the interaction, he was nowhere to be found, Sirius wouldn’t see him as she turned a corner in the corridors, or when she was leaving the Great Hall, he was nowhere. 

Tonight was one of those nights, Sirius wanted nothing more than to hold her brother and tell him just how much he’s been missed by her, but Sirius doesn’t have a way of finding them, so instead of crying to the empty and hollowness of her room, Sirius left the dungeons and went to the Astronomy Tower. She’d expected it to be empty, so much so that she hadn’t even tried to wipe the tears from her face, she hadn’t tried to hide her feelings because she knew there would be no one to ask about them. But she was wrong. She walked up the stairs with a hollow feeling in her heart, not that anyone could tell. When she entered she’d been greeted by the smell of smoke and a tall figure standing near the ledge, staring at the stars, cigarette in hand. They immediately turned at the sound of footsteps. 

“Oh- Shit, sorry I,” Sirius swallowed thickly, she hadn’t in the least prepared for social interaction, “Um- I’ll go. My bad.” 

“No, don’t. It’s fine, there's enough space for both of us, clearly.” The figure, who Sirius identified as Remus Lupin, had spoken calmly. Sirius nodded before walking over to the ledge opposite Remus, she didn’t want to risk him hearing her pathetic sniffles or weak breathing. So there she stood, quiet and dreary at probably 11:30 at night, risking detention just to feel something other than the overwhelming feeling of no presence but her own. 

Minutes passed and Remus had finished his cigarette but the smell loomed over the pair. Sirius stared at the ground to ignore the feeling of her family’s expectation expressed through the stars. Remus stared at the sky to feel a sense of freedom that wasn’t gifted when attached to the ground. Opposites in every way yet they thought so similarly. Both the souls yearned for the feeling of something that their dorm rooms couldn’t give them, where Remus wanted to be alone, away from his loud, kind, and rowdy friends. Sirius wanted to be outside from her suffocatingly lonely dorm room, every time she sees her shadow she’s reminded that it is the only thing that’s stuck with her through all these years. 

“Are you alright?” Remus asked after a moment, it was only then that Sirius was pulled from her head and aware that Remus was right next to her. She gasped lightly and moved back for a second, Remus put up his hands in an attempt to show how harmless he really was. “Sorry, I didn’t intend to scare you.”

“No, you’re fine.” She whispered in a breathy tone, trying to regain composure. She moved back to her place beside him. “I’m alright, it’s just been a long night.” Sirius admitted as Remus offered her his attention. 

“Why are you crying? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.” Sirius’ eyes widened as she was hit with the realisation that she was still crying. In an attempt to hide the tears he’d already seen, Sirius pulled her hand up to her eyes and wiped the most recent ones. It was futile, she knew, but she continued. 

“I-” Sirius whispered and turned her attention back to the ground. “It’s nothing, just- yeah long night.” 

“If you’re sure… But I’m willing to listen, I won’t tell anyone, promise.” Remus said with a hand over his heart, likely for dramatic flare. 

“Do you really?” Sirius asked with a hint of annoyance in her tone. 

“I do, I’m quite good at listening, you know.” He smiled.

“Impressively so, I believe you. But not right now… maybe another time.” She returned the gesture. 

“Of course. Well, shall we talk about something else, or maybe we should return to our dorms.” Remus said in a suddenly formal tone, Sirius smirked at him. 

“I’d say we best get back to our dorms.” 

“Good call. Would you like me to walk you back?” Remus asked and for some reason it was unlike when other people would ask her similar things, it wasn’t as a way to make her feel incapable, or to make a gross preposition that Sirius would decline with a tight smile. It felt friendly, and in all honesty, that was all she wanted. She had it with Dorcas but she couldn’t rely on her only. 

“That’d be lovely, thank you.” She smiled and they began walking out together, they both seemed to ignore the fact that Remus’ dorm was closer than her’s. 

“So, are you prepared for the Arithmancy test tomorrow?” Sirius asked quietly as they turned a corner, Remus physically tensed. 

“Fuck no, I completely forgot about that.” Remus swore, they both ignored the portraits that told him off for his crude language. 

“Would you like some notes to read over, I think you were away when we were given the study lists.” Sirius questioned as they stopped at the entrance of the Slytherin Common Rooms. 

“I was, but no it’s alright, I could grab them off Lily at breakfast.” 

“Remus the test is first period, just stay here I’ll grab mine.” Sirius promised and without giving him time to disagree she said the password and ran inside, straight to her dorm to grab her Arithmancy book. She then rushed back outside quietly and luckily Remus was still there. “Here, they’re marked by which unit, this unit is tabbed with yellow, so just go over them and you should be fine.” Remus took a moment to stare at the carefully written and precise notes before he looked up and smiled. 

“Fuck, Sirius, these are brilliant. Thank you so much!” Sirius felt her cheeks warm up at the praise despite the cooling weather of Autumn. 

“No problem, it’s nothing. Thanks for tonight, I appreciated it.” 

“I didn’t do much, but you’re welcome, I’m there quite often, so if you ever want to talk to someone, go to the Astronomy Tower.” Remus offered. Sirius nodded. 

“I’ll be sure to remember it, thank you.” 

“No worries. Okay, um, I’ll give these back tomorrow morning before class?” 

“Yeah, that’d be good,” Sirius agreed. 

“Okay, yeah. Well I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Sirius.” 

“Goodnight, Remus.” Sirius waved and watched as the boy left before quickly walking back inside, going directly to her dorm. Sirius fell into bed with a soft smile that she couldn’t erase. A euphoric feeling rushed over her as she realised that for the first time in ages, Sirius was unable to ignore a positive emotion, not a negative one; and if the side-effects included a smile and giddy feeling attached to you as you fell asleep. Then she supposed she could live with that

Chapter Text

Sirius was beautiful. She was an ethereal young girl and an intelligent one at that, she knew it, her family, unfortunately, knew it, and the boys who she had to continuously reject also knew it. It was becoming a pain. She’d never had such a problem at Beauxbatons as the boys and the girls were on separate campuses, luckily. However, at Hogwarts they weren’t, which had made Sirius’ typical day to day tasks far too tedious. She couldn’t go a single day without a boy asking her out and then inevitably calling her an attention whore when she said no. It was getting annoying, it had felt rather nice at first to have a couple people tell her she looked nice today in the corridor, but it quickly became a game to the boys, seeing which one of them could elicit an actual reaction. Sirius didn’t know how they didn’t understand how rude it was to call out ‘nice rack!’ to her as she walked to Transfiguration. Sirius knew she was beautiful, and she knew the curses that came with it but she wasn’t prepared for the amount of people who acted as if she was all beauty and no brains. She wasn’t prepared for the amount of people who’d hate her just for the beauty part alone. 

“Oi Black, looking lovely as per usual. Trying out a new bra, are we? Tits are looking ravishing.” That is what Sirius was greeted with as she sat down at the Slytherin table, a boy from Hufflepuff had yelled it out to her, clearly they weren’t all as nice as they seemed. 

“Get hit by another Quaffle, did you Brady?” Dorcas called back as Sirius tried to hide beside her.

“Nah, Meadowes, did get hit by a realisation though!” He called back. Sirius assumed his next words would be something along the lines of 'My bed is the perfect size for the beauty beside you.’ But Dorcas beat him to it. 

“Oh yeah? ‘Bout time you found out you're missing some balls!” She growled back, that seemed to shut him up as his friends began laughing.

“Thanks, Cas.” Sirius mumbled as Dorcas handed her a plate. 

“Anytime, Honey. I’m sorry they do that, it can’t feel good, aye?” Dorcas continued and poured Sirius some orange juice. 

“Not at all, I just wish they’d back off. I’m not doing anything to them.” 

“They’re insufferable and they don’t care who they hurt as long as their friends think they’re funny… Did you want to go eat elsewhere? We can grab some stuff from the kitchen, the elves love me.” 

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Sirius whispered as she took another look around the Great Hall. There was Brady and his dickhead friends laughing about something new, there was Marlene staring at Dorcas, likely impressed by her performance, and then there was Regulus, staring right at her with a furrowed brow. She caught his eye and in turn the siblings had a whole conversation. Regulus furrowed his brow further as if to ask if she was alright and Sirius simply smiled and nodded before standing up alongside Dorcas and walking out.

The next moment happened when she was alone, Derrick Wright had come up beside her as she was walking from her last class of the day, Arithmancy, to the Library, planning to get some studying done. 

“Sirius, what’s got you in a rush?” He asked 

“Nothing,” She answered, staring straight ahead, Derrick and his friends had a history of bothering her, they were heartless and pathetic men who would all die alone, but Sirius didn’t have the heart to tell them. 

“Running off to a broom closet for a light snog are you?” Here it goes, Sirius is unsure how they got the idea of her being a slut into their heads but they wouldn’t let it go. Now Sirius has no issues with a woman who sleeps around, if she’s not hurting anybody then it doesn’t matter, heck good for her. However she herself did not do such a thing, not for any reason, except that any of the boys who had approached her typically did so with a tone that made Sirius want to punch them. 

“No, not that it’d be any of your business if I was.” She replied sharply as they turned a corner. The corridor was empty except for one Remus Lupin, the boy Sirius had just been talking to in Arithmancy, well, sometimes. For most of the class they passed small smiles and dumb faces. The only time they actually communicated was when Remus asked her for help with a calculation he couldn’t quite get. She’d explained rather quickly and in turn he thanked her before going back to his seat, Sirius had wished that she’d prolonged the experience just to continue talking to him but regardless the moment was over and now she was here. 

“Hey, now, now. No need for that attitude Miss Black, unneeded that is.” He tutted. You’re fucking unneeded.  

“Will you please go away?” Sirius asked as she made a desperate attempt for help at Remus via a certain stare. He turned to face her.

“Sirius, you ready for the study session? I grabbed the material I was struggling with so we should be done by meal time.” Remus spoke carefully as he walked towards them. “Oh, hey Derrick. I didn’t know you were getting tutored as well, I thought you were above that.” He smirked. 

“Oh please, as if. I was just discussing some things with the lovely Sirius here,” he said. As he did, he placed a hand on the back of Sirius’ thigh causing her to tense. 

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, will you fuck off!” Sirius yelled, done with the whole act. Sure the boys continuously harassed her and she continuously dealt with it, but he had no right to touch her. 

“Wow, feisty.” Derrick smirked and tightened his grip, Sirius, in one swift movement, turned and slapped him. “What the fuck? You bitch! That hurt!” 

“Oh don’t be such a pussy, can’t handle it?” She swore. 

“Fuck off, I’ll show you something else you won’t be able to handle.” He growled, Remus pushed him back away from the girl who’d begun shaking. 

“She asked you to leave, so do it. You pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor.” Sirius entirely forgot the boy was in Gryffindor, he certainly never acted like it, what with his lewd jokes and sexualisation of any woman he saw. Remus had clearly been privy to some of his acts and as a result was more than done with him. Sirius didn’t ever see Remus angry, to be fair she didn’t see Remus outside of class all too often, but regardless. It appeared that not many people had either, as Derrick immediately stepped back before walking off, muttering something about a ‘useless whore,’ who ‘isn’t worth it.’ 

“Fuck-” Sirius whispered as she leaned against the wall for some sense of reality. 

“Are you alright?” Remus asked. 

“No. No, I’m not.” she mumbled into the hand she’d pushed against her own mouth to muffle the yells of frustration she wanted nothing more than to release. 

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Remus continued. 

“Where?” 

“I know a couple places,” he smiled before taking her hand, after asking, and leading her down the hall. 

They stopped at a tapestry, Sirius wanted to ask Remus what the hell was going on, but before the chance was given, he pulled it back and whispered a spell. Immediately a doorway was carved behind the tapestry and Remus gestured for Sirius to enter, she didn’t know why she trusted him enough to do so, but she did, so she entered. 

“Fucking hell, this is creepy.” Remus laughed at Sirius’ words. 

“I know, you get used to it eventually, here, sit.” He walked over to a rather nice set of tables and chairs, she was impressed by how nice it looked. Despite how dark and devoid of life it should be, it was light and lively. 

“What is this place?” 

“It could be anything, I’m pretty sure it’s an old classroom that they covered up, can’t imagine why but whatever. Maybe they just didn’t use it and thought it was an eyesore, regardless, it’s here. I quite like it.” 

“I do as well, weirdly enough.” Sirius replied and placed her head on the table, resting for just a moment, trying to calm herself. All she can think of is that prick's hand on her and she wishes it would go away. It wasn’t even that bad, grow up.

“You feeling better?” 

“Not really… Beauxbatons was different, the boys were on a separate campus to the girls so we rarely interacted, but here… I hate it, I mean, I like the school, but I hate them. It’s just constant embarrassment and harassment. And I’m suffering because of what they say but that’s not fair, I don’t deserve that for something they’re doing, they should be punished but I am instead.” She explained, she doubted Remus cared that much, but to his credit it appeared he was listening. “The boy’s are constantly harassing me for how I look, and the girls, most of them, hate me because I distract their boyfriend’s. I don’t do it intentionally.” 

“I’m sorry you have to go through that, Sirius.” Remus said, and Sirius believed it, he genuinely sounded sorry. But why? Why should he care.

“It’s fine, not your fault.” 

“No, but still…” Remus whispered with a grimace on his face. 

“ …so did you actually need help with anything or was that just to distract Wright?” Sirius asked

“Well… not really, I suppose considering what you did for me in class it just sort of appeared and well I didn’t have time to work out the finer details.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to drag you into my problems.” Sirius said and Remus immediately shook his head in disagreement, as if what Sirius had said was so ludicrous. 

“No. Not at all, don’t be. Merlin, they aren’t your problems, they’re what the twats around the school are bothering you with. Dorcas is a good person to be friends with if you want this sort of thing to stop. I can tell you about another time she’s put the morons in their place, if you want?” Sirius smiled.

“I’d love to hear that, Dorcas is bloody brilliant.” She nodded enthusiastically. 

“She really is, okay so, my friend Marlene Mckinnon, you know her?” 

“We sit next to each other in Herbology.” 

“She’s really great, hilarious, she is. Anyway in fourth year she had a growth spurt over the summer and when she came back some boys, the same boys who bother you now, bothered her. The usual ones that they’d say to you, I’m assuming having not heard too much of what they say to you, things about her body or how good she’d look in their bed. Shit like that. Anyway, Marlene hated it and she’d always hex the boys who did it however because it was a reaction they kept doing it, Mcgonagall intervened whenever we’d bring it up to her, however that never stopped it completely. Now, I don’t know if you’re aware but Dorcas and Marlene are quite close, so one day when they were walking around the grounds and someone cat called Marlene before proceeding to make some stupid joke about her body, Dorcas went over to them and, I don’t know how she did it, but spoke some sense into the useless bastards. I have no idea what she said, but it fucking worked. She probably mentioned something about how pathetic and fragile they were and how they needed constant recognition by their friends and they were willing to undermine other people for it. But I don’t know. Anyway they finally fucking stopped, I have no doubt that someone, if not Dorcas, will do the same for you.” 

“Fuck, that woman is brilliant. She’s so funny as well, hell she’s practically a support pillar for me at this point. I do hope they stop soon, but I don’t want to put Cas in that scenario, she’s already had to deal with it once, I doubt they’ll listen to her if it’s the same speech but about a different girl.” 

“Oh please, Dorcas would be so willing to do so, and hell if she doesn’t, I might, you deserve better than that shit.” Sirius’ cheeks flushed and she smiled at him, she didn’t know what else to say. But her Mother’s etiquette lessons weren’t for nothing so she thanked him. 

“Thank you, Remus. That means a lot.” Remus smiled at her, clearly not expecting the mood change. 

“No worries. Are you right to go back to your dorm or to wherever you intended to go?” 

“Yes, I’ll be fine, thank you.” Sirius spoke calmly as she stood up, although she knew she would just go to the library and borrow the books she needed before studying in her dorm, she didn’t want to risk the harassment that came with being a woman, not when she had to study.

“Good, sorry, I would stay and talk but I think I’m late to meet up with some friends, probably by half an hour, but what can you do?” 

“Merlin, ever heard of a watch?” Sirius asked as she stood up, following Remus as he walked to the door. 

“Yeah, but it’s fun to rely on the realisation that I’m late to go somewhere, it’s the closest thing to sport I’ll ever play.” 

“Oh yeah? Not a fan of sport?” 

“No.” Remus scoffed as they exited the room and were back in the empty corridor.

“Not even Quidditch?” 

“No, not really, James is obsessed with it and Peter likes it because James does, but Regulus and I share the same views, though he still goes to training, sometimes, at James’ persistence.” Sirius smiled at the reminders of her brother, sometimes she forgets they’re friends, because of the year age gap. 

“Hm, how are you even friends with him, not in a rude way, it’s just that you’re not in the same year.”

“Regulus is in our dorm, he was moved there as the boys in his original dorm hated him, blood status and all, they didn’t want to risk the problems that came with being roommates with a Black. Pathetic, really. Anyway he said he quite likes it there, we like him as well, no clashing personalities, except for James and him but it clashes in a good way I suppose.”

“That’s nice…” 

“Yeah,” Remus nodded, “Do you like Quidditch?” 

“I do, some of the girls at Beauxbatons had a team and I was on it. Anyway, because it wasn’t official our parents weren’t notified, which is good because mine wouldn’t have let me do so. That’s why I don’t play this year, I’d love to, but… well, my parents are rather traditional, as I’m sure you’ve heard from Regulus.” 

“Yes, I have, I’m sorry to hear that you had to give it up.” Remus offered, Sirius shrugged it off. They turned a corner and were greeted by James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Regulus. Sirius’ eyes widened, James raised an eyebrow at the two. 

“Remus, where were you, we were supposed to pull this off ages ago.” James asked, his voice sounded more calm than his words let on. 

“Busy. I’ll see you in Study of Ancient Runes tomorrow.” Remus said and Sirius smiled tightly before nodding and walking off. 

“What were you doing with my sister?” Regulus asked and Remus shrugged awkwardly as he watched Sirius walk off, the girl had an elegant walk, he hadn’t noticed it before, he didn’t know how he hadn’t it was beautiful, and rather impressive. “Remus.” Regulus said to gain his attention. 

“What?” 

“What were you doing with my sister?” 

“I helped her get away from Derrick, he was bothering her on the way to the Library so I, politely, told him to fuck off, she did it first though. I was repeating her previous statement.” James raised an eyebrow at him. 

“What’d he do to her?” Regulus asked as they began walking to the honeydukes passageway.

“I wasn’t there for all of it, but when I saw them he was commenting on her attitude, then proceeded to say he was discussing something with, and I quote ‘the lovely Sirius here.’ end quote, then he placed a hand on the back of her thigh and she proceeded to slap him in the face, that was funny.” 

“Hm.” Regulus mumbled, clearly planning to embarrass Wright the next time he saw him.

“Anyway, afterwards he called her a bitch and I told him he was a pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor, then he left, and I took Sirius to one of the abandoned classrooms to calm her down.” 

“That’s our Moony, a feminist icon!” James laughed and patted his back roughly. 

“Not really, well yes, but not at that moment, I was just being a decent person. Something a lot of the people at this school can’t seem to do to her.” 

“Well that’s definitely true,” Regulus agreed as they entered the empty passageway and pulled up a tile.

“I can understand why, she’s scary as hell.” Peter nodded, Regulus shot him one of the scariest death stares Remus had seen from the younger boy. “In a good way, she’s awesome! But like… terrifyingly beautiful.” 

“That doesn’t give them any right to say such things to her.” James said and Remus nodded in agreement. 

“Right, sorry. I’ll ask Lily to give me another lecture on the Patriarchy when we get back to the dorm.” 

“Good, and I expect you to give three girls compliments on the way back as punishment for that, proper compliments as well. Something nice, not about their body, maybe about their intelligence.” James listed off on his fingers, Lily had given them all a list of things to do whenever they said something that came off as toxic masculinity. And because they’re all decent people, they did so. 

“Okay, who’s going and grabbing what?” Regulus asked as they entered the abandoned corridor. 

“I’m on booze, Peter’s on unrelated sweets, Remus is on chocolate, and you, our darling Reggie, are on lookout.” 

“Why am I always on lookout,” Regulus complained

“Because, we’ve never been caught with you on lookout.” James smiled. 

“We’ve never been caught, full stop,” Remus reasoned. 

“Okay, but we’ve never had any close calls with Regulus on lookout.” 

“It might be the fact that he can scratch anyone coming, or distract them, you know, with the whole cat thing.” 

“Yes, Peter, we gathered that.” Regulus glared at him once more. 

“Right, sorry.” 

“Anyway, point is… please,” James said as they reached Honeydukes. 

“Fine.” 

They made it back to the common room with a duffle bag full of… treasures from their escapades. Remus went upstairs to throw it under his own bed and Peter went off to find Lily and get another lecture on feminism. James and Regulus sat in the common room with Marlene and Mary.

“Good day lads?” Marlene asked. 

“Productive one I’ll say.” James said in agreement, Regulus just nodded beside him, allowing James to do the talking. Remus swiftly came back downstairs and joined them, sitting in the arm-chair closest to the fire. The common room was empty, spare them, and Lily and Peter who were in the corner and deep into a book about the patriarchy. 

“Aye, Remus, how’d studying with Black go?” 

“Excuse me?” Remus asked to Mary’s question. 

“Wright said you and Sirius were studying together in the library,” Marlene cut in. 

“Oh- no, I didn’t, that was just to get him off her, fuck he’s annoying that one.” 

“Fuck, are they still bothering her?” Mary asked

“Always, it’s lasted, what? Two months now?”

“Yeah, I think so. It started a week after school started, now it’s nearly halfway through November. Speaking of which, when is your sister’s birthday?” Remus asked Regulus

“November third.” Regulus answered as he opened the book James had passed him from the coffee table. 

“Oh, it's been, hm. Did you get her anything?” Marlene asked. 

“No…” 

“Why not?” Regulus was growing more frustrated by the second. 

“What was I supposed to get her, exactly? A birthday card that said, ‘hah suck shit I got out, you won’t. Hugs and kisses, your disowned brother?’” Regulus quipped 

“Right, dumb idea, my bad.” Marlene muttered. The room was quiet for a moment before the door opened and in walked one of Derrick’s friends, Harvey Turner, Marlene death stared him as he entered. Harvey looked around for a moment before making eye contact with Regulus and clicking his fingers. 

“Black, just the man I’m looking for.” Harvey smirked and walked over, uninvited and clearly unwanted, to the group.  

“Fuck,” Regulus whispered, he sat down beside Regulus and placed an arm around him. 

“So, don’t mean to sound obnoxious but like… that sister of yours, holy smokes, right?” Harvey began, Regulus wanted to punch him. Did you really just ask me if I think my sister is hot? “...anyway, I was just wondering, you know, if you could put in a good word for me? She’s fucking hot and fuck, that body-” Everyone in the common room was staring at him in pure disgust, Remus looked like he wanted to punch the bastard, but Regulus beat him to the assault, he however took the turn of verbal and degrading assault. Harvey went to continue but he was cut off by Regulus slamming his book shut and standing up. 

“Will you shut your stupid fucking mouth for one minute and consider what you’re asking of me.” Regulus began, gaining the attention of Lily and Peter. “I mean, even if I did what you asked, which I won’t but we’ll get to that in a moment, what the fuck am I supposed to say. ‘Hey Sirius, you know that boy who’s been making lewd comments about your body and embarrassing you at any given moment by cat calling or gross comments about wanting to fuck you, yeah he’s not so bad, give him a shot’?” Regulus growled

“No- that’s not-” Harvey attempted to defend himself, Remus smirked at the fool he was making of himself, as did most of the people watching. Regulus didn’t look happy though, he looked at Harvey with an air of such disgust and frustration. It was clear he’d been asked this before. 

“No? Oh yes it fucking is! Back to the first point though, Sirius is one of the most brilliant people in the world, she deserves better than some useless bastard who calls himself funny because no one else wants to. And even if I was willing to put past the history of harassment you have, my sister deserves better than a pathetic and fragile excuse for a man who can’t even ask her out properly so instead resorts to asking her little brother to ask her for him. You, Harvey Turner, are the most pathetic bastard I have ever had the displeasure of knowing, and I hope you’re aware of the fact that you are going to die alone if you keep up this cocky ‘women are below me’ act.” Regulus ended and with a sharp breath he walked off to the stairwell. 

“See, that, Peter. Take notes.” Lily whispered in the corner. 

“What the fuck? He’s so dramatic, I wasn’t asking that much.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, yes the fuck you were, how did you not take anything from that?” Remus swore. 

“Fuck off, Lupin, I didn’t do anything, I was just asking for a favour.” 

“Oh go jump into Black Lake, you pathetic bastard.” Remus walked off afterwards, electing to go and find Regulus. 

“You know, your sister will likely kill me if she knows I introduced you to those.” Remus greeted as he entered and saw Regulus smoking a cigarette at the window. 

“She barely knows what they are.” 

“She’s a quick learner, she’ll figure it out.” Remus smiled and walked beside him, taking the cigarette from his hand and burning it out on the window frame. “You okay?” 

“How many times have you said that today alone?” 

“A few, all of which to the Black siblings, maybe I’ve got a knack for helping sad children without decent parental figures.” Regulus smiled before speaking

“Sirius was the one without parental figures, I had her.” Regulus mumbled with a sad smile. 

“Hm… do you miss her?” 

“Always, she’s there but not there, we haven’t had a single conversation during her time at Hogwarts, we have like some silent understanding, stuff that we used to use to talk at the dinner table back at Grimmauld Place, but I wish we could actually talk. She raised me and I want to repay her. But I don’t know how.” 

“I doubt she’d want to be repaid for doing what she did, probably just acknowledged.” 

“I want to acknowledge her, but we don’t talk.” 

“Well then find a way to. I’m sure if she hears what you just did then that’ll be enough for a while. She cares about you, Regulus.” Remus reassured the boy before him. 

“How would you know?” 

“We talk, sometimes, we have the exact same classes. We’ve gotten to know each other quite well. She asked about you today, actually.” 

“What’d she say?” Regulus asked.

“It was just small, just her asking why we were close with you despite being different years, how did it start. But it was nice, it was a small but caring thing, I’m sure she loves you more than anything, Reg.” Remus answered with a hand on the younger boy’s back, Regulus rarely showed any form of emotion, his deadpan expression stuck to his face at most instances. But there were times when he did show positive emotion. There were three certain ways to do it. Discuss a new book that they’d both read, or an old one he was still caught up on. Have James Potter get sentimental, on most occasions his face was rid with slight disgust but sometimes he smiled at it. Get him to talk about his sister, Regulus loves his sister more than anything and whenever he discusses anything about her he either has a fond smile or a sad smile. Always a smile though.

“I love her… I really do.” Regulus whispered “I miss her.” 

“She misses you, too, Regulus. Just try and speak to her.” 

***

Sirius wasn’t expecting the next boy who came up to her, he didn’t make a comment about her looks or her body, mainly because he knew she’d slap her hand over his mouth without hesitation and then give him a lecture on treating women properly. The next boy who came up to her, came up to her in the Astronomy tower, at around 10:45 pm. The next boy who came up to her was her baby brother, Regulus Orion Black. 

“Sirius…” He spoke carefully as he stared at the girl whose eyes were attached to the stars. 

“Reggie.” She replied, still staring at the night sky and everything that illuminated it. 

“How are you?” He asked, he hadn’t a clue what to say, but he said it. To his surprise Sirius laughed, a beautiful sound

“Really? That’s how you start?” She giggled and finally turned to face him at last. Once more surprising him as Regulus realised that Sirius was crying. 

“...are you alright?” He asked, careful as ever to not hurt her more. 

“Oh, Reg. I’m delighted. Now get your ass over here and give me a hug would you?” Sirius smiled. Regulus did as she asked and rushed over to her, Sirius met him halfway and pulled him into her arms, “Fuck, I missed you.” 

“I missed you, too.” He whispered as he clung to the girl who raised him, they weren’t different in age by much, but apparently one and a half years made all the difference. 

“I love you, Mon Etoile.” Regulus smiled and laughed wetly at the nickname, he hadn’t heard it in ages, fuck he was crying. 

“I love you, too, Siri.” The two sat down at the edge of the Astronomy tower, staring out at the fields as they found their breath. 

“Why did you agree to this?” Regulus asked her, thankful to Remus for organising this but reluctant all the same. “Mo- Walburga and Orion will be furious.” Sirius smiled calmly at him, despite how reckless this was, she had a lack of care. 

“Reggie, that’s cute. They’re already pissed at me, I’m best friends with a half-blood not to mention she’s dark skinned, that’s not the kind of black they prefer. Someone in Slytherin told them I was hanging out with her and now… well, Winter Holidays aren’t feeling all too welcoming, but I’ll live.”

“Why don’t you-”

“Don’t ask me to go to the Potters with you. Please, Reg, you know I can’t.”

“I don’t actually… Why can’t you.” Regulus asked with a daring tone, Sirius smiled at his boldness. 

“They were furious when they lost their Heir, and I mean furious. They never let me out of their sight unless I was sleeping, showering, or studying, which was all I did to be quite honest. Even so they sent Kreacher to watch me half the time, not in the shower though, I feel like I should clarify that. Anyway… they didn’t go after you because they found no point in it, they had me and they're still figuring out how to handle the situation, but they’ve still got a child. If I go, they’ll probably try and get us both back. It’s better this way.” 

“No it’s not.” Regulus whispered sharply. 

“Well it’s better for you, that’s all I care about.” 

“Why are you never selfish?” Sirius smiled at him gently.

“Who knows? Maybe I just think I’m above narcissism.” 

“It’s not narcissism to have some self-preservation.” 

“Well, I’ll work on it.” She promised. 

“Good.” He smiled. 

“Alright, bed time.” Sirius hugged him and kissed his cheek before standing up.

“What?” 

“Bed time, we both know how grouchy you get without your eight hours.” Sirius smirked and helped him up. 

“I beg your pardon.” Regulus asked, a smile appearing on his face at his sister's teasing. 

“Come on, Reggie. You want me to sing to you?” 

“Not particularly.” Regulus smirked as they walked out of the astronomy tower.

“Oh, he’s all grown up.” She complained and placed a hand dramatically over her head. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Language, young man.” Sirius chastised as they made it to the corridor. 

“Can we do this again? I’ve missed you.” Regulus asked, changing the mood drastically. 

“Of course, just get Remus to ask me, or ask me straight up, don’t be a pussy, you know.” 

“Rude.” 

“I didn’t raise a wimp.” Sirius scoffed. “I’ll see you later, Reggie. Sleep well.” She hugged him once more. 

“Goodnight, Sirius.” He smiled before they split directions. Regulus to Gryffindor and Sirius to Slytherin. Two sides of the same coin, they were so similar yet so different. Regulus smiled as he entered his dorm and saw Remus waiting up. 

“Well?” 

“Fucking brilliant, thank you so much.” He said, Remus smiled. 

“Anytime, Regulus. Now, bed time.” Regulus didn’t even argue, nor did he comment on the similarity between Sirius and Remus, he simply collapsed on his bed, not caring to change into his pyjamas. He slept soundly with his sister’s laugh sounding in his head. Nostalgic and emotional, Regulus couldn’t wait for their next meeting.

Chapter Text

Remus doesn’t recall when it started. He doesn’t remember when their small smiles in class turned from friendly to flirty, but they did, and he’s not complaining. Sirius Black was a brilliant woman, intelligent, funny, kind, and beautiful. She’s everything Remus never thought he’d get and now he’s got her, and he doesn’t plan on letting her go (unless she wants to, Lily taught him better than that). He doesn’t remember when he looked forward to seeing Sirius’ name walking to the Astronomy Tower on the map, not just because he could talk to her, but because he could hold her, and kiss her. There is a singular thing about the process that Remus remembers, and he thinks that is what changed it all. And it was an argument that ended with Sirius’ lips on his as he held her tightly and apologised profusely. He remembers that glimmering look in her eyes as they broke apart, fearful that he’d leave or reject her, but to her ultimate surprise and apparent joy, Remus pulled her back in immediately. He doesn’t recall what the argument was about, nor what spurred it, but, in vivid detail, he remembers how it ended, and he’s very much okay with the result of it. 

In the weeks after the confession they’d steal kisses from each other in abandoned corridors, or hold one another in an empty classroom. It was risky, and if someone saw, Sirius could be in deep shit for it, but she had calmed Remus’ concerns on the matter with a kiss to his temple and a promise that he was worth it. They had yet to be caught, but Remus assumed it was only a matter of time. If not in this term then likely the next. He’d been considering telling someone, he’s not sure who, maybe James, maybe Peter, fuck maybe even Madame Pomfrey, she’s always been willing to listen to him. But Sirius had always seemed reluctant and if she were someone else then Remus may have been insulted by it. However, Sirius has every reason to fear someone finding out, if the news got in the wrong hands and back to her family… well as stated previously, she’d be in deep shit. 

It was currently lunch time, but Remus had no interest in food, he had excused himself once he saw Sirius’ empty seat and went off to find the Slytherin girl. He’d checked the class they had both just been in, Herbology, and he’d also checked Arithmancy as the girl had a tendency to wander back to the class and discuss some extra credit work with Professor Vector, the Professor appeared to have a soft spot for the girl, which was helpful in getting Sirius’ grades up, which is why Sirius only went to her for extra credit work. When he checked the classroom Professor Vector told him she hadn’t seen Sirius since their class yesterday, Remus had thanked her and walked off. He was about to give up and walk back to lunch when a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him into an empty potions classroom. 

“Sirius.” He breathed in relief, Sirius always made breathing easier. 

“Hi,” she whispered and kissed him gently, he pulled her closer to him. 

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” he expressed.

“Sorry, got caught up, Cas wanted me to ask Professor Binns about the History of Magic essay,” Sirius explained and let out a gasp as Remus bit her bottom lip. “Wow, desperate, huh?” she laughed. 

“Who, me? Never.” Remus quipped back and placed a hand around Sirius’ hip, she smiled at him in a teasing manner and in turn Remus began tickling the girl.

“Remus, you fucking prick, stop that.” She laughed, Remus found himself doing the same, only stopping once to kiss her cheek before continuing. Perhaps they would’ve continued laughing and teasing one another, however they were interrupted by the sound of a door closing and faint footsteps retreating. Sirius stiffened and rushed to the door to see who may have seen them but there wasn’t anyone there. 

“See anyone?” Remus asked.

“No… fuck, Remus. This isn’t good, if someone saw us…” 

“You don’t know if anyone did, Sirius. It could’ve been another classroom, it could’ve been anything.” 

“Re, I’ll be in serious trouble if my parents find out, you know that.” Sirius spoke carefully, her beautiful smile from the minute before was gone and no trace remained. Remus wanted to do something to bring it back but he couldn’t, she was scared and there wasn’t anything Remus could do to promise her that no one saw them, because he wasn’t sure either, and he wouldn’t lie to her. 

“I know, I know. It’ll be okay, we’ll figure it out.” Remus did his best to reassure his scared girlfriend but in all honesty he could barely reassure himself, let alone the very rightfully paranoid girl beside him. 

“... we need to be more careful.” She whispered, Remus knew she’d say it, yet it still hurt to hear. They were already being careful as opposed to other couples who sat eating each other's faces off in crowded corridors. 

“Okay, Siri. If it’ll make you feel better. But we are being careful.” 

“Not careful enough, it appears.” She complained, picking at her fingers, she had a habit of doing that. Remus grabbed her hands and gently brought them to his lips, kissing each of them. 

“It’ll be okay, Sirius,” he said and let go of her hands, she walked closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, he pulled her closer again. “I love you.” Remus kissed her hair. 

“I love you, too.” 

Remus figured he’d learn his lesson, and he had been doing so well at the whole secrecy thing. He’d wait for his friends to sleep before checking the map and seeing if Sirius was on her way to the Astronomy tower, if she was he’d make his way over there as well, map in his back pocket to ensure that none of his roommates would check it to see where he was and see his name all too close to Sirius Black’s. But everyone has slip ups, and one December night, three days before they’d be on their way back to London, Remus had one that could’ve cost him his relationship. He had a routine, you see, every time he saw Sirius’ name leaving the dungeons he’d change out of his pyjamas at a rapid speed, pick up the map, and walk to the Astronomy Tower, where he’d meet his girlfriend and they’d talk and kiss and cuddle for what felt like hours, and sometimes did end up being. Then they’d have one final kiss and walk back to their respective common rooms. Remus did the beginning of his routine perfectly, except for one minor detail. The map. He hadn’t even realised until Sirius was already in his arms and kissing him, he tensed up and she noticed. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, just… worried I guess.” He rushed to come up with a lie and of course he went with the most open ended one possible. 

“About?” She asked as they sat down on the floor, Remus leaning against a wall, and Sirius leaning against Remus. 

“A lot of things I suppose. First of all, my OWL results.” Sirius scoffed. Remus let out an internal sigh of relief as he realised he had successfully diverted the topic.

“You’ll do perfectly, Re, you’re brilliant. Besides, you had my help.” Sirius smirked cockily and Remus flicked her in retaliation. “No, but really, you’ll do well, you’re so smart, Remus. And if not then there's no shame in resitting it.” Now it was Remus’ turn to scoff. 

“Funny, remember when I told you that.” 

“There’s a difference, I’ve been at the top of my school for the past four years, I’d not be caught dead resitting something, but you can.” 

“Double-standards.” Sirius laughed softly and kissed his hand. 

“What else is bothering you?” She continued, playing with the end of his sleeves. 

“I don’t want the term to end, I won’t be able to see you for ages.” 

“Two weeks isn’t ages, Remus. But I admit I’m not too pleased about it either.” They both knew that her reasons were for more than just the absence of Remus. 

“You’ll be safe, yeah?” Remus asked and Sirius put on a tight smile that Remus knew wasn’t genuine. 

“Of course, and if not… well I got Reggie out, I’m pretty sure I could do it again.” 

“Promise me you’ll actually leave if you aren’t safe, Sirius.” 

“Remus, I’m never safe there, but I understand. If I’m very clearly about to be severely injured then yes, I will try. Although I don’t know how I’ll make it through muggle London alone, likely at night given my luck. And I don’t really know where I’d go.” 

“You could come and stay with me. Oh, or the Potter’s, Regulus said they’d be more than happy to have you, they’re so kind it’s not funny.” 

“Hm, maybe.” She considered it for a moment. “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” 

“If you’re sure. I’ll give you my parent’s home phone though, just in case you can’t remember where the addresses are.” Remus left out the part that they both considered, the ‘just in case you can barely move due to your injuries.’

“Thanks,” she whispered. 

Both of them weren’t paying enough attention to anything besides each other, holding and kissing one another, which is why they weren’t prepared for James Potter to appear up the stairwell and gasp at the sight of the couple, a piece of parchment in his hand. 

“What in Merlin’s name?” he whispered as he folded what Remus knew to be the map up and put it in his jacket pocket. Remus and Sirius immediately pulled apart from one another and stood up but the damage was done, they’d been found out, it was over.  

“James, I can explain.” Remus spoke carefully. 

“Can you now?" James asked but didn't wait for an answer, "Remus what the fuck, this is like the number one rule in a friendship, you don’t snog your best friends sister.” James swore, Sirius had never seen James angry, he was always calm and collected, never worried about anything, he could always get out of things but this… it was new territory. Sirius wanted to do anything to stop James’ rant, she was even tempted to mention that technically, Regulus had been disowned and wasn’t her brother, but she didn’t stoop that low. 

“James, it’s not Regulus’ choice who Sirius dates!” 

“I know that but that doesn’t change the fact that it shouldn’t have been you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Remus asked, Sirius was standing behind him, the yelling reminded her all too much of her home, Sirius pulled her wand out and whispered a silencing charm in the hopes that Filch hadn’t already heard them. 

“Remus… you don’t date your best friend's sister, these are basic principles of a friendship!” 

“Why doesn’t Sirius get a say in this? Why are you deciding her life for her? You barely know her.” Sirius stayed silent behind the two, not wanting to be involved in the argument despite it being about her life. James was trying to back Remus into a corner because it’s what he deemed safe. She could understand that, but it doesn't make it right.

“I’m not! I’m just saying this shouldn’t have happened! Regulus will be so hurt!”

“No, he won’t, he’ll be glad his sister is with someone who won’t use her for her body.” 

“Okay both of you shut the fuck up and listen to the person you’re arguing about!” Sirius cut in, done with them arguing over her about her when she was more than capable to make her own decisions. “I do not belong to my brother, nor do I Remus. I love Regulus and I love Remus however I am also an independent person who deserves to make her own fucking choices for once, understood?” 

“Yes.” Remus nodded, James didn’t seem all too convinced. Sirius was honoured by his care for her brother, but this wasn’t about him. 

“Listen, James. I don’t know you well enough to make any decisions about you but you seem like a decent person, however that does not mean you need to decide everything for my brother or for me. It’s kind of you, and I understand you’re trying to keep a sense of control but I’m not going to tolerate that. Regulus told me that I need to be selfish and so, for once in my life, I will be. I love Remus, and I don’t care who that’ll hurt because all I care for is myself right now.” Sirius pauses, and James and her share an understanding look but the boy nods, as if asking her to continue. “I’m never happy, I’m not allowed that, not at home and not here either, but I get that when I’m with him so you can hate me all you want for fucking up whatever you had going on but I don’t particularly care, it’s my life, not yours. If anyone is to have a choice on what me and my boyfriend do, it is him or I, not my parents, not Regulus, and not you.” Sirius stops and inhales a deep breath to try and calm down. Fuck, why was being in a relationship so difficult? Sirius took another shaky breath and walked over to a wall to lean against, not trusting her legs to not give out.

“Sirius, are you alright?” Remus asked and took a wary step towards her.

“No, I’m really fucking not, Remus. In three days I’m going to be back at that stupid house and probably going to be sold off to some creep and all I wanted was to enjoy a night with my boyfriend where I wouldn’t have to think about that and then that prick came in and ruined it.” Sirius swore, not aware of the tears that glossed over her eyes, Remus walked over to her swiftly and pulled her into a hug, whispering reassurances to her as she cried. Both of them were ignoring the clearly guilty James Potter standing near the door. 

A few minutes passed before Sirius could regain her composure and l et go of her worries for a moment. 

“James.” Remus said expectantly, James immediately stiffened before falling into a fast and sincere trail of apologies. 

“Merlin, I am so fucking sorry, Sirius. You’re right I was thinking of Regulus and my friend group instead of you and, fuck, I’m sorry for doing that, honestly feel free to slap me, it’s so deserved it’s not funny.” James began, Sirius is impressed he hadn’t kneeled at her feet yet considering he seemed so distraught about bothering her it was as if she’d chop his head off for doing such a thing.

“It’s fine.” Sirius mumbled, still being held by Remus. 

“And Moony, fuck I didn’t mean it, I know you’d never hurt Regulus, but it just hit me that he was so protective over his sister and- I don’t know I saw you and I saw her and I am just so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt either of you.” James said as carefully as he could, the man seemed so fragile all of a sudden in comparison to the boy who came in yelling earlier. 

“I forgive you, but don’t do it again, what would Lily say?” 

“You’re right, she’d be so pissed at me, fuck what happened to feminism.” James complained, half joking it appeared. 

“Lily wouldn’t be annoyed that you said that about me, or so I think.” Sirius cut in and both Remus and James gave her an odd look.

“Why do you say that?” James asked, Remus’ grip on Sirius’ hand tightened, as if asking her to continue. 

“Lily Evans? Yes?” Sirius questioned as she squeezed his hand back.

“Yeah.” The boy in glasses nodded. 

“She hates me, I don’t know why, I don’t know what I did but she just does.” Sirius admitted, Remus gave her an odd look. 

“We can talk to her ‘bout it if you want?” James suggested, Sirius was steadily growing to understand why Regulus liked him. 

“No, thank you, I’m sure we’ll figure it out, I hope. If not, no big deal, I don’t see her often anyways.” 

“Oh please, James, you wouldn’t be able to talk to her anyway, she doesn’t particularly like you either.” 

“Okay wow, true, but still.” James scoffed in reply. 

“Don’t worry James, I quite like you.” Sirius reassured him.

“Why thank you, Sirius, good to know I’m still appreciated in this life.”

“You are most definitely appreciated.” She nodded in agreement. 

“Okay, stop being friends, I dislike it.” Remus cut it and pulled Sirius closer, despite how hot she found his protective tendencies, she quite liked James, so she relented. 

“No, I don’t think I will.” She smirked. There was a moment of calm silence between them, and then James cut through it with a question he’d been desperate to ask. 

“So, and I know we elected to leave this behind, but are you going to tell Regulus, because I am so bad at keeping secrets.” James mentioned with a clearly concerned look on his face, worried he’d distress the pair again.

“Well we were planning on meeting up the day before the Holidays start, just to say bye because we won’t get the chance the day after. So I suppose I can tell him then.” 

“Great! Okay, two days of hiding it, I can do that.” Remus didn’t seem too convinced but Sirius seemed to trust him, which is basically the only thing that will stop him from spilling their secret, he didn’t want to betray the trust that she’d given, heck this could be a good friendship if it lasted. 

“Can you really?” Remus asked. 

“Yes, I can do this.” 

James decidedly cannot do this. It has been not even ten hours since he had found out about the couple and he was struggling. Whenever he saw Remus he cringed and he knew Regulus and Peter could tell. Though to their credit, they didn’t bring it up. James had to stop himself from staring at the older Black, although not for the usual reasons people did, not because he was enthralled by her beauty, or wanted to shag her (his best mate was already doing that), but because he was concerned for her. She had mentioned last night that she had three days of peace before she’d likely be sold off to some creep, and James wanted to know what exactly that meant and how to stop it. She seemed like a good person, Regulus thought so, and as did Remus; so he did as well. From the day he’d met her, unofficially, more so saw her for the first time, he’d paid decent attention to her. He wanted to know if she was really all Regulus talked her up to be, a brilliant sister, an intelligent brain, and, importantly, someone who could help him with pranks. However now that he knew two of his three closest friends were both fond of her, he needed to know why. Which is why James’ attention has turned from his school work to her. He can afford to slack off, it's the second last day. 

“James, stop it.” Remus whispered to him as James had stared off at Sirius for what seemed like the twentieth time. “One might think you were the one dating her instead of me.” He added on quietly.

“What, that’s ridiculous, I just want to know why you and Regulus like her so much.”

“Can’t you just accept that she’s a good person and leave it at that?” Remus asked, not in a defensive or protective tone but more seemingly fed up, reasonably so. 

“I want to, but… look, Remus, it’s not entirely about that, it’s just- she said something the other day and I want to know if she’s alright, that’s all.” Their discussion continued in a hushed tone. Mcgonagall eyed them wearily but didn’t further act upon it, she was using the lesson as a catch up, or as a way to get ahead, it wasn’t mandatory but Sirius was taking it upon herself to do it, maybe James should as well. 

“And that was?” 

“She said that she had three days before she’d likely be sold off to some creep, what was that about?” Remus stayed quiet, clearly he’d also been concerned on the matter. 

“I don’t know, I think it has to do with when Regulus had said that their parents used her beauty… I’ve asked but she shut it down immediately, she’s never done that but she just seemed so hurt by it.” 

“She doesn’t deserve that, have you invited her to stay with-” James asked, somewhat distracted as he began considering ways to help the girl.

“Yes, as has Regulus, she’s set on going home for everyone’s protection, I’d say especially Regulus’.”

“She’s really protective of him, aye?”

“Yeah. It’s actually kind of scary.” 

“Hm, well it’s good to know Reg had someone.” James declared. Remus nodded in agreement.

“I think Sirius is who we should actually be worrying about right now, but sure. Anyway we can’t do anything right now, so why don’t you get ahead on the holiday assignment.” Remus advised. 

“There was a holiday assignment?” James asked in blatant confusion. 

“Yes, you moron.” Remus scoffed and gestured to the chalkboard. James flushed in embarrassment at having not read it, before opening his book and writing down the necessities. 

James had stuck as close as he could with Remus all day, to ensure that Remus would shut him up if he accidentally happened to nearly mention their relationship to anyone, and it was working rather well. Except after dinner, Remus had walked off to go and study at the Library, mentioning something about their obnoxious voices distracting him, James wasn’t particularly worried until he realised that, unlike most nights, Regulus wasn’t going with him. 

“No, I’ve finished all my work for the term, I’m basically on an early holiday.” Regulus had smirked. 

“Wait ‘till next year and you will not be that calm about it.” Remus replied before walking off. 

“James, are you doing any of your homework, or did you want to play chess?” Regulus asked, James stiffened before abruptly standing. 

“Can’t- sorry, I think I left something at the Quidditch grounds.” He lied. 

“What was it?” Regulus asked, not at all surprised by James’ forgetfulness. 

“Just a- uh… spare jersey. Couldn’t find it in my drawers, it’s either still at the grounds or I’ve packed it but I’m not destroying my packing just to check, so if it’s not there, it’ll be in my bag, and- yeah. I’m gonna…” James trailed off, clearly rambling. Regulus, unfortunately, stood up as well. 

“You don’t mind me coming, do you? I’m bored, and Peter isn’t here to bully.” Fucking wormtail. 

“ …yeah sure. No worries, just- yeah.” He couldn’t come up with an excuse on time, so now Regulus was going with him to the place he was going to use as an escape. Regulus nodded and followed after James when the older boy began walking. 

“So…” James said as they walked, Regulus raised an eyebrow. 

“What?” 

“Nothing, just… looking forward to the holidays?” 

“We live together, James.” 

“And?” James asked, hoping that he’d fall into an easy rhythm with Regulus as he normally did. 

“ …yes, James, I’m looking forward to the holidays.” 

“Will it be weird, without your sister?” Fuck, moron, of course you mentioned Sirius. Regulus nodded.

“I suppose. We’ve never really been separated over the entire holidays, although we’d usually only get about a week with one another because our holidays didn’t line up.” Regulus explained. 

“Right, yeah. Why were you at separate schools anyway?” He’d definitely asked this before, but Regulus didn’t question his sudden apparent amnesia. 

“I can’t entirely remember, I think my parents have always sent their heir to Hogwarts but I believe it had something to do with girls being allowed on the Quidditch teams here, they didn't want her getting any ideas, our parents were always far too traditional.” 

“That’s dumb.” James pointed out as they left the building and walked to the Quidditch grounds. 

“Yeah, I think it bothered Sirius for a while, she’s great at Quidditch, we used to play at Uncle Alphards, it was our rules though because we very clearly didn’t have enough people. We more or less just practised tactics. Eventually I think she grew to like Beauxbatons, she likes speaking French, I always preferred English though, I think she has a thing for the accent, she said it’s funny.” 

“You speak French?” James asked, Regulus scoffed. 

“No shit, James.” Regulus scoffed, they entered the field and James turned to the right to the Gryffindor rooms. 

“Well damn, my bad, I’ve never heard you talk in it, or her for that matter. I wonder if Remus has heard it.” James thought aloud as they entered and James walked over to his respective locker. 

“Why would Remus have heard it?” Regulus asked, leaning against a wall with a raised eyebrow. Fuck. 

“Uh- you know, because they’re close friends, of course, friends, but like- I don’t know.” 

“James, what are you hiding from me?” Regulus interrogated and walked over to James’ locker, shutting it immediately to gain all his attention. 

“Nothing! Just… I was curious, I’ve never heard you speak it and we’re close so I wonder if Sirius speaks more freely in it. You know, because she likes the language more. Speaking of which, why don’t you like it?” James answered, talking obnoxiously fast, why am I such a shit liar. Regulus seemed not at all convinced but he let up, taking his hand off of James’ locker in the process. 

“I don’t know, I think Sirius picked it up a lot faster than me, it was second nature to her but I didn’t learn it as quick, Sirius had to help me with it a lot. Also because Sirius had to speak it for school she never forgot any of it, whereas I have no reason to speak it so I don’t and therefore I forget it sometimes. Actually, now that I think about it, I think she might have been taught French before English.” James nodded in reply as he searched aimlessly through his practically empty locker before closing it. 

“Hm, has she ever had any issues with English?” 

“No, she practised all the time, mainly because of the letters she’d write to me, and Alphard. Find it?” 

“No, it must be in my bag already. Well this was a complete waste of time.” 

“Yeah, loser.” 

“You came with.” James quipped.

“Yeah but I knew I was wasting my time.” I did too, actually. 

“Whatever, let's just go.” He was stopped by Regulus grabbing his wrist.

“James, you wouldn’t hide anything from me, would you?” Regulus asked, James wanted to scream. He didn’t want to betray Sirius, but he didn’t want to lie to Regulus either. James figured Regulus wouldn’t blame him for not betraying his sister so, with a deep guilt, James answered. 

“No, you’d always find out anything I knew, we’re close like that.” The boy with glasses smiled, technically he wasn’t lying, Regulus will find out, just not today. A faint pink appeared on Regulus’ cheeks. 

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks or whatever. Come on, let's go back.” Win for James!

It was the seventeenth of December and Regulus was sneaking out of his dorm room, unaware that one other body was also missing from their respective bed. He rushed as fast as he could to the Astronomy Tower, wanting to say a final ‘bye’ to his sister before the holidays. They wouldn’t get a chance on the train as their dorm was staying behind, the full moon was tomorrow night after all, so they’d take the Floo the next day. Regulus successfully snuck past Filch and his distasteful cat before climbing the stairs as fast as he could, leaving him partially winded but he ignored it. All that mattered was the person waiting for him. Which is why Regulus was so confused when he entered to see James Potter standing beside his sister. They were in a deep discussion about the effectiveness of paint bombs and how to get them on a wider range. 

“Um… hi?” Regulus said, his voice betraying how confused he truly was, Sirius and James both turned at the noise.

“Reggie!” Sirius smiled before walking over to him and hugging her brother, he hugged her back and allowed her to place a kiss on his cheek but the moment they separated he made his thoughts clear.

“What’s James doing here?” 

“We were discussing ways to make our pranks more effective, where to range paint bombs so that they’d hit more than a small crowd.” James cut in and Sirius nodded. 

“It was painful to see that Severus wasn’t hit last time so I’m trying to give some pointers,” Sirius explained. 

“Right… and you couldn’t do that another time?” 

“No, we were waiting for you.” Sirius said and Regulus gave them both a wary stare. “See, the other day James stumbled across something that I didn’t want him, or anyone, knowing about, so I made him promise to keep it from you. But I also want to make sure you aren’t mad at him for lying to you to keep a promise to me.” 

“What- okay, what does James know?” Regulus asked. Sirius hesitated before continuing. She seemed as if she was worried by Regulus’ reaction, which wasn’t something he’d seen often. Sirius always seemed so sure of herself, and Regulus had never judged or questioned her, so why the sudden change?

“Promets-moi que tu ne seras pas contrarié” Sirius asked, James was taken aback at the woman’s perfect pronunciation, before then remembering that she went to Beauxbatons and closing his agape mouth. 

“What’s so bad I have to promise that?” Regulus asked, ignoring the fact that his sister clearly wanted this as private as possible considering the other person in the room. She sighed before speaking again.

“Rémus et moi sortons ensemble” She admitted and although James couldn’t speak a word of French, except ‘Oui’, he knew what she’d said, he knew she’d admitted it. Regulus’ reaction helped the translation along. 

“You’re fucking what?” 

“Watch your language!” 

“Are you actually dating Remus? He’s good enough for you?” Sirius looked offended. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked 

“I don’t know… I guess I never actually thought you’d date somebody, you always seemed focussed on other things.” 

“I still am focussed on other things, but I must admit he’s quite lovely. Plutôt sexy aussi, non?” Regulus stared at his sister in slight disgust. 

“Don’t say that about my best mate.” 

“OI! I’m right here!” James cut in. 

“You’re different!” Regulus swore, Sirius raised a suggestive eyebrow at him, “ferme ta bouche” 

“So all of a sudden you’re willing to speak French, hm, noted.” Sirius scoffed, Regulus could feel his cheeks grow warm. 

“Okay, fine, you’re snogging one of my best mates, great. James go away, I get it you didn’t intentionally lie.” 

“Great, see you later, Regulus. Bye Sirius, thanks for the advice.” 

“Anytime, James, feel free to ask for more, I’d be more than obliged.” She smiled and as did he, Regulus was not looking forward to what their friendship would bring. As James disappeared down the stairs Sirius stared at Regulus with a look he couldn’t read. Fear, perhaps? Guilt? “Are you actually okay with me dating Remus?” 

“ …Out of most of the people in this school, I’d say he’s definitely a good option. I’m sure he’ll treat you well.” 

“Regulus, I’m not asking what you think of him, I’m asking if you’re okay with me dating him.”

“I suppose so… It’s not my choice, and well… Remus is a good person, I think you two would make a good couple. So yeah, I’m okay with it. But do not call him ‘Sexy’ in front of me again.” 

“Actually I asked if you also thought he was sexy but if you insist.” 

“You are not allowed to makeout in front of me either.” Regulus ignored what his sister had previously said, she nodded in agreement. 

“Oh no, whatever will I do, see I fancied shagging him on your bed.” 

“Sirius!” 

“Joking! I figured you’d be able to tell.” She put her hands up in a surrendering gesture.

“I can but still!”

“Okay, fine, I’m done.” She smiled and led him over to the wall, she leant over the low top of the short wall that blocked them inside. “So ‘You’re different.’” Sirius quoted, Regulus pinched her arm and she pulled it away with a sly smirk. 

“Shut up, we’re talking about your relationship, not mine.” 

“So you admit you wouldn’t mind it being a relationship?” Regulus stiffened. Leave it to his sister to pull him apart that quick. 

“It’s not happening, I’m pretty sure he’s straight anyway.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, I’d say he doesn’t mind women but it’s not his only option. If you’re picking up what I’m putting down.” 

“You think I could hook him?” 

“I’m saying it’s a high possibility, you should’ve seen how worried he was that he was betraying your trust. Poor darling was terrified.” 

“Really?” 

“Really! I think you have a chance. Anyway, I’ll leave this for you to figure out.” Sirius sighed and took a deep breath. 

“Are you sure that you’ll be safe at Grimmauld Place?” Sirius ignored his words and continued to stare at the stars. “Sirius-” 

“Shhhh.” She placed a finger in front of his lips. Regulus stayed still for a moment, wondering what she was listening for. 

“What are you trying to hear?” 

“My thoughts, animals in the distance, the water flowing; anything but what you’re about to ask me.” 

“Why?” 

“I’m so sick of people asking me that, I know I’m not safe, and I know that if I have to I can get out. It feels like no one trusts me. I got you out, I can get myself out.” 

“How do you know you won’t be… severely hurt.” Killed. 

“I don’t, in fact that’s such a high possibility that I’m not going to bother promising you I won’t be. But, I will promise you one thing.” Sirius nodded and turned to face him.

“And it is?” Regulus asked expectantly.

“If I am put in a situation where I have to leave, I promise you that I won’t be found dead on, or on my way to, your doorstep.” 

“Can’t you just promise me you won’t die.” 

“That is a promise that I won’t die. If I leave, I’m going straight to you, and I will make it there.” Regulus, with a quivering bottom lip, hugged his older sister immediately, not trusting himself to not cry if he spoke. “I’ll be okay, Reggie. I’ve never lied to you.” She whispered and kissed his hair. Regulus didn’t let go of her, not for a long time, and she let him stay where he was. Running her slender fingers through his hair and whispering reassurances to him. Eventually Regulus moved away and looked at Sirius, her gentle smile still hadn’t left her face and Regulus was thankful for that. 

“I love you, Sirius, be safe, yeah?” 

“Of course. I love you, too, Reggie.” She kissed his cheek once more and together they walked down the stairs in silence. Regulus hugged his older sister once more before they parted ways. “Enjoy your holidays, Mon Etoile.”

“I will, thanks.”

“No worries, love.” Sirius went to turn before she paused. “Oh, and make sure Remus doesn’t panic too much, please, for me.”

“Yeah, sure. Love you.” 

“Love you, too. Bye Reggie.” She smiled, Regulus wished he had Lily’s camera so he could keep it with him, to reassure him that she’d be okay, that he’d be okay, that they’d be okay. 

“Bye, Sirius.” He replied and turned away, unwillingly. He wanted to turn back and drag her with him, to ensure her safety but he knew she had to make the decision to leave on her own terms. It wasn’t his choice. So he didn’t, so he let her leave and wished to Merlin that she’d be safe, that she’d return to him with a smile, not a coffin.

Chapter Text

Sirius had found Remus on her way to the train and suffice to say she nearly missed it, not that she would’ve minded. Remus had held her so tight and practically begged her to be safe, she didn’t have the heart to tell her boyfriend that it wasn’t up to her. She had, however, taken his prefect badge from him before kissing him and whispering a promise. 

“I’ll take this with me, and I promise you that I’ll give it back to you, therefore, I have to come back to you. What type of a girlfriend would I be if I stole your badges instead of your sweaters.” She’d smiled calmly despite her heart that threatened to beat out of her chest. 

“ …I love you so fucking much,” he whispered and kissed her once more. She leant into him before pocketing the badge and pulling away. 

“I love you, too. I’ll see you soon.” Remus kissed her one more time, praying it wouldn’t be the last. 

“You better.” He spoke, not in a malicious way, no, Remus wouldn’t. It was more that he needed a guarantee, some form of stability, as she left into a world of unexpected consequences. Remus smiled and let her go, she smiled back at him as she left the empty and abandoned corridor. The smile was carved into his mind, he just hoped that he’d see it next as a greeting instead of a memory. 

“You’re so sweet, you know?” James' voice rang as he walked up the other side of the hallway. 

“Shut up, prick.” Remus quipped and walked off, leaving James to keep up with him. Remus turned to face the door, in hopes Sirius had decided against going, but instead he saw a closed door and no Sirius. 

The train ride was nowhere near as fun as the morning, but Sirius made do. Discussing stupid things with Dorcas, going from which teacher would resign next, to what dinner food was the most loved one based on the reactions of the students. 

“What do you think the house elve’s enjoy cooking the most?” Dorcas asked, Sirius turned from the window where she could see the train entering London, a pool of fear rising in her stomach. She ignored it and instead elected to answer Dorcas’ strange question.

“I don’t know… maybe the desserts? Golden syrup dumplings smell amazing when they’re cooking, so maybe them?”

“True, I fucking love golden syrup dumpling.” Dorcas replied and mimicked a chef’s kiss action with her hand. 

“They’re so damn good.” Sirius agreed 

“What meals then? Fish and chips?” 

“Hm, I doubt it, they’d probably get sick of making it so frequently.” 

“Shepherd’s pie?” Sirius made a gagging noise.

“I hate shepherd’s pie, it’s fucking atrocious.” 

“I take offence to that, I love shepherd's pie!” Dorcas shook her head. 

“We cannot be friends anymore.” Sirius smirked, “okay but genuinely, I hate them, I think I just can’t stand the mashed potatoes.”

“You don’t like mashed potatoes?” Dorcas complained and stared at Sirius in utter shock. 

“I do, but not in shepherd’s pie, it tastes different.” 

“Maybe you’ve just never had a good shepherd’s pie.” 

“Maybe a good shepherd’s pie doesn’t exist.” Sirius replied and Dorcas placed a hand over her heart as if she’d been physically wounded. 

“We’ll agree to disagree despite you clearly being wrong.” 

“That is not agreeing to disagree.” 

“Whatever!” Dorcas poked her tongue out before turning to face the window. “Hey, there’s my parents. I hope they let me pick dinner tonight. I might have shepherd’s pie just to spite you.” Sirius was certain her face had paled as she came to the realisation that they were at the station. Sirius stood up immediately and grabbed her bags down from the overhead compartment. “Everything okay?” 

“Not really, I’ll see you next term, yeah?” Sirius whispered, Dorcas closed the blinds to hide their presence from the people on the platform. 

“You’ll be okay, Sirius, I know you will be.” Sirius wanted to cry, Dorcas pulled her in for a hug. It was weird hearing someone tell her she’d be okay instead of having them ask if she would be. 

“I’ll see you soon,” Sirius said as they parted, Dorcas nodded with a soft smile. “Bye, Cas.” 

“Bye, Siri. See you.” Sirius nodded before shrinking her bags and walked out of their compartment and exited the train, impressively so, considering the crowds, within the minute. 

She didn’t see them at first, but they saw her and they were practically staring into her soul. The moment her eyes met her mother’s Sirius knew she was in for a difficult couple of weeks. She walked over to them, head held high despite her fears. Her mother gripped her wrist the second she was within reach. Sirius knew Dorcas’ eyes were on her, and she also knew that it only served to enrage her parents even more. 

“Mother, Father, lovely to see you again.” Sirius spoke as calmly as she could. Her mother, without warning, pulled her over to the fireplace to use to floo network, cutting in line and making Sirius go immediately. She knew Kreacher would be waiting on the other side to ensure she wouldn’t run off. Sirius had only then realised how much she had relied on Uncle Alphard picking her up from Beauxbatons, he was so much more caring than her parents. Sirius threw the floo powder down and said the name of the place she dreaded. 

“12 Grimmauld Place.” Abruptly she was in her living room and waiting for her was not Kreacher, but that didn’t make Sirius any bit more comfortable, in fact for once she may have preferred the elf. 

“Sirius, lovely to see you again.” Riviera spoke and Sirius had a swift and sudden urge to run. 

“Sirius, honey, did you want to sit down?” She turned and saw the one good thing that the train had brought her, her uncle. Sirius nodded and sat beside her Uncle Alphard, she found his hand and he squeezed it gently, she kept her head down, away from the creep that stared at her, his eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, very unneeded considering the already faulty lighting of the building. The fireplace lit up with a green smoke and out stepped her mother, followed quickly by her father. Sirius’ hand tightened around her uncle’s. 

“Well, Alphard, I admit your visit was rather unexpected.” Walburga began as she dusted her skirt off. 

“Yes, well, I sent an owl but it mustn’t have made it, regardless, I just couldn’t bear Sirius coming back from school and me not being there to greet her as we always did. I rather miss my darling niece.” He smiled, and Sirius did too, a very small smile, one she was certain would bother the man who didn’t belong here, the one who always told her that her face looked better with a smile on it. 

“Well then, will you be staying long, Alphard?” 

“Yes, in fact I had planned on staying a week, I had said so in my letter, I just wish it had made it, I thought it had.” Sirius could tell he hadn’t actually sent an owl, she knew that had he done so, Walburga would have declined his request. Showing up out of the blue was the only way to be accepted for a stay. Her mother’s jaw clenched. 

“Well, Sirius, how about you show your uncle your room, and give your bags to Kreacher to be unpacked.” Sirius nodded before standing up, Alphard following. For once she wasn’t upset that her mother treated her like a toddler, in fact she was somewhat grateful, she wanted to be out of that room as fast as possible. Sirius walked past Riviera and she immediately felt she was being watched, so she was glad that Alphard had stood within his view, clearly intentionally. She enlarged her bags and left the one with her clothes at the stairwell, taking her supplies one upstairs with her, Kreacher would grab the other in a moment. She then made her way up the stairs, not missing the beginning of their next conversation. 

“I’m sorry, Riviera, we can’t do this with Alphard here, he’s awfully protective of her, he wasn’t supposed to be here, I’ll see if I can get him away sooner.” Sirius waited at the top of the stairs and she looked back, judging by the furrowed brows on her uncle’s face she knew he too had heard it. He smiled at her upon seeing her distressed face and she turned and led him to her room, despite the fact she knew he knew where it was, she and Regulus used to force him to have slumber parties with them whenever he’d stayed to take care of Regulus and her if their parents were away on business.

The moment they entered Alphard closed the door and put up a silencing charm, if it were any other man Sirius would be alarmed but Alphard only put it up so they could talk without Kreacher listening in on them as they both knew Orion and Walburga would have asked him to. Sirius sighed and placed her supplies bag at the door before walking to her desk. 

“Sirius, how are you?” He asked as Sirius took a seat at her desk chair, turning slightly to face where Alphard had sat on the end of the bed. He watched her expressions as she tried to find an answer. 

“ …School was nice.” She answered in a futile attempt to cover up how overwhelmed and scared she was. 

“That’s good to hear, although it’s not exactly what I asked. Anything interesting happen?” 

“I guess… sorry this can’t be very interesting.” Sirius sighed and leaned her head on the back of the chair. 

“I’m not looking for interesting, Sirius, I’m looking to know how you are, especially considering the cunt downstairs.” Sirius smirked at her Uncle’s language, he didn’t frequently swear but ever since Sirius had woken up crying and begging for the hands to get off her and then proceeded to reveal the true nature of her parent’s relationship to Riviera and how he used her, he’d shared the hatred for Riviera. 

“I- well I suppose I was rather expecting it,” Alphard frowned at that, “a girl in Slytherin, halfblood, helped me out on the first day by Slughorn’s request and ever since then we were quite close, however someone from Slytherin told them about it and now… well, I never got an angry letter but I knew what to expect.” 

“You don’t deserve that, Sirius, I’m sorry you have to deal with it.” 

“Hm, well…” she sighed before looking back at him, “why are you really here?” 

“What, you don’t trust that I’m really here just to continue our tradition?” 

“Not for a moment, I know you would but I know it’s not the reason.”

“You always were a very bright girl. The Potter’s have a son, James. He sent a letter to his parents saying that he was worried about Regulus’ older sister going home, said that they were already mad at you, so they sent me a letter and asked if I could make sure you’d be alright.” Of course James did, he’s too caring for his own good. 

“I- fucking Merlin, are they all such saints?” Sirius asked with an exasperated look. Alphard laughed lightly before he nodded and explained. 

“I’m afraid so, I’ve known Euphemia for years and in turn I’ve also known Fleamont for a rather long time, they’re brilliant, but hell, they can never hear something bad and not try to do something about it. Seems James picked up that trait as well.”

“I barely know him, the first time I met him was three days before school ended. How the fuck did he do that so quickly?” 

“Well I only got the letter this morning.” Alphard smirked, “which means that technically I did send an owl, it just wasn’t to this address or these people.” 

“Hm, well, good to know Regulus is safe with them, have you seen him?” 

“Yes, he’s doing quite well, told me his darling sister got him out,” the man smiled at Sirius, she rolled her eyes. “I’m very proud of you for doing that, Sirius, although you really shouldn’t know the obliviate spell.” 

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed having already heard that from Regulus all those months ago.

“Regardless, you did well. Now, unfortunately I can only stay the week but I think I should, maybe, be able to calm them down. Is there anything else you did at school that they may know about and that I may have to negotiate with them?” Sirius’ cheeks were suddenly warm as she looked away before, very slowly, nodding. Sirius wasn’t even looking at the man but she could see his smirk and in turn grabbed a pad of paper from her desk and threw it at him. He laughed before placing it beside him gently. “So… name?” Sirius scoffed before turning back to him. 

“ …Remus Lupin.” 

“Can’t say I know it. Want to tell me who he is? Both to you and in general.” 

“He’s also a fifth year student, he’s in my Arithmancy class and Study of Ancient Runes, both of which I did very well in.” 

“Don’t try to distract me with your grades young lady, I knew they’d be great, good job by the way, what's he like and how do you know him?” 

“He’s… brilliant, I don’t know how to describe it really, I- he actually cares about what I have to say, he sees me for more than this.” Sirius gestured to her body and Alphard nodded knowingly. “One day I was walking to the library and some prick kept annoying me, asking me what I was doing, telling me to watch my attitude. Anyway, Remus was standing in the corridor, I don’t know if he was waiting for someone but he saw me struggling to get… Derrick, I think his name was, off my tail and in turn tried to get me away from it, he made up some excuse about a study session but the asshole wouldn’t budge in fact he did quite the opposite and decided to put his hand on the back of my thigh so I slapped him and then he called me a bitch. After that Remus told him to get fucked and that he was a pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor, truer words couldn’t be spoke, and then he showed me this abandoned classroom and stayed with me ‘till I calmed down.” Sirius explained, Alphard was still smiling at her. 

“You always did pick the good ones, actually I don’t think you ever picked one, except for that librarian you said was really pretty, she was nice… Anyway, he sounds lovely, I’m glad you found him, does Regulus know him? And, again, have you made it official with him yet?” 

“Yes, Regulus knows him, in fact they’re kind of, maybe, best mates.” Alphard had the audacity to laugh. 

“Merlin’s beard, didn’t know you had it in you, shagging your brother’s best friend.” He scoffed.

“We’re not shagging!” Sirius defended. 

“Yet.” Sirius suddenly wished she had waited to throw the pad of paper at him, “Anyway, I will ask this once more, are you dating him or not?” 

“Yeah, yes, he’s my boyfriend.” She admitted, ignoring the smirk on her Uncle’s face.

“Good! He sounds like a lovely bloke. Any instances that I should know about before I go and defend you two, should they know.” He clarified.

“Well, we were pretty careful as to not be caught considering the consequences but there was one time in an empty potions classroom, don’t give me that bloody look,” she quipped and Alphard put his arms up in defence. “Anyway, he was looking for me when everyone was at lunch and I had to find Professor Binns so I was already in the halls. I heard him coming and snuck into one of the Potions classrooms, I made sure it was empty before grabbing him, anyway we… talked. Oh, fuck off!” Sirius spat when Alphard began laughing again. 

“Sorry- so sorry, but… talked? You don’t sneak into an empty classroom with your boyfriend to talk, Sirius. I’m not oblivious.” Sirius couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face, she liked being able to talk about this with someone that wasn’t Dorcas. 

“Piss off, anyway, we both heard a door open and then footsteps running off, we didn’t see anyone when we checked; but, out of all the times, I’d say if we were caught by someone who would tell, it would have been then.” 

“Okay, I’ll keep it in mind. I’m glad you handled this so well, actually. Regulus has sent me about a hundred letters discussing his little crush and what to do about it.” 

“Potter?” Sirius asked despite knowing the answer

“Yeah, fuck they’re both as oblivious as each other, though I suppose that’s how it usually goes in relationships.”

“Hm, yeah. I handled it way better than him.” Sirius smirked, she ignored the memory of her crawling into Dorcas’ room and begging her to hit her over the head until the feelings were gone or until she died. Dorcas had refused and then made her talk about her feelings, something Sirius wasn't keen on.

“Yes, clearly. Alright, well, you get unpacked and I’ll have a chat with your parents, don’t worry I won’t tell them anything they haven’t already told me. In fact I may wait to have a proper negotiation, today I might just discuss getting Riviera out.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled, her Uncle opened his arms and Sirius stood up and accepted the hug he offered. Alphard nodded and left, breaking the silencing charm as he opened the door. Sirius suddenly felt a decent amount more secure in the house she’d been confined to. 

Four days after his arrival, Alphard’s visit was cut short by a letter that stated his presence was needed in Paris, Sirius was unsure what his excuse was or what the letter even said but she did know that she was unfathomably scared. Alphard had kissed her cheek and told her that he’d talked to her parents about the girl she’d been hanging out with but that the boy hadn’t come up, leaving Sirius somewhat reassured. He promised her he’d come back to check on her as soon as he was no longer needed in Paris, Sirius doubted she’d last that long here, her parents were practically leaping at the opportunity, Sirius could see it on their faces, they were glad he was going. The moment the green flames were gone Sirius was slapped hard across the face, she was unsure which one of her parents did it but she knew it was to be expected, which is why she didn’t fall to the ground like they clearly wanted her to. 

“You spoiled brat, I cannot believe you, associating with filthy half bloods, they’re no good, useless bastards and you dare taint your pure blood by communicating with them!” Walburga yelled, Sirius flinched at the tone. “What do you have to say for yourself girl?” Sirius’ mind went blank, anything she had planned to say had gone the moment the hand made contact with her skin. “Nothing? You are just as pathetic as your brother.” Orion cut in and placed a hand in front of Walburga before speaking. 

“Sirius, sit down.” He practically ordered and gestured to the dining table. She did as was asked, not wanting to make the situation any worse than it clearly was. Sirius sat and stared at the wall, ignoring the expectant eyes of her parents, she wanted to be blissfully ignorant to the disappointed glares and to the silent conversation her parents were having. 

“Sirius,” her mother began. “We know what you’ve been doing at Hogwarts, we know that you've been hanging around with filthy half bloods and mudbloods, I am disgusted by your behaviour. I told you before not to disappoint me and what did you do?” She stared at Sirius expectantly. 

“I disappointed you,” Sirius spoke so quietly that she herself couldn’t hear it, let alone her mother. Walburga slammed a hand on the table before her and Sirius didn’t even flinch, far too used to their methods of intimidation. 

“I disappointed you,” she spoke loud, clear, and bluntly. Her mother, despite wishing for the girl to speak up, clearly didn’t appreciate the tone. She was met not with a slap as she’d expected, but harsh words from her father. In all honesty, she would’ve preferred the slap. 

“You truly did. Sirius, you were who we had our hopes on and then you went and not only befriended a half blood but slept with a different one, you are a disappointment and a slut! I can’t believe you are my daughter.” Unlike the typical criticisms of her father, these ones hurt more, they cut deeper. And it was not just the realisation that they knew about her and Remus that stuck, it was the insults and the words. Her mother was the one to berate her for doing something that their family deemed as wrong, not her father. In normal instances he’d be in his study, or just sit and watch. But for him to call her a disappointment, to call her a slut; well it wasn’t expected. 

“I-” she hesitated. Alphard had told her that they hadn’t mentioned Remus and to Sirius it was basically a guarantee that they didn’t know, but she was so wrong. 

“You what? You want to defend yourself, oh please, don’t make me laugh, Sirius. Whoring around with a filthy half blood, you are impure and selfish! Ruining this family’s purity because you wanted to experiment, absolutely disgraceful!” Her mother cut in, Sirius wanted to scream, or to run. She accepted a long time ago that love wasn’t something she’d get from them so she had settled for acknowledgements, Regulus had given her the respect that sustained her being but now that he was gone she wasn’t able to do as she previously did. She couldn’t stand the empty ‘Morning’s or the hollowed out act she was expected to put on when they went out, she was barely surviving with that, but insults stacked atop of each other slowly but surely ensuring that she’d crack little by little until she shattered akin to the glass doors of the cupboard Regulus had been thrown into. “Alphard came and unknowingly stopped you from learning your lesson, we figured that we could wait seven days but by four it was clear that you soon wouldn’t be fixable, so we had to have him go. Such a shame really, my little brother could never see what a spoiled and undignified whore you were growing up to be.” The realisation struck Sirius faster than her mothers hand on her cheek from only minutes before.

“You did it, you’re why he had to go?” Sirius asked, she knew her revelation would make no difference towards them, but it was one step closer to the breaking point Sirius would soon reach. 

“Of course we are, you really think Alphard would let anything happen to his darling niece? He never understood our family’s methods of teaching, I suppose that’s why he’s so shunned by the rest of us, I was gracious in allowing him to stay for four days. And I now know that I shouldn’t have even allowed him one. I now know that I never should have introduced you to him, perhaps you wouldn’t have strayed so far if I hadn’t.” She hated this. Sirius hated how her mother spoke of the only real adult figure Sirius has ever managed to have, she hated how the woman before her spoke of him as if he was a demonic figure, as if he’d hurt them. He’d never, in fact he was the only one who ever cared about Regulus and her being hurt at all. 

“He never did anything wrong! Alphard was the only one out of this stupid family who is good enough to have a child, let alone raise one!” 

“What did you just say to me?” Walburga asked, using one of her devilish hands to cup Sirius’ face as the girl gave her a cold hard stare that could’ve made even a basilisk freeze. 

“I said, that he is the only competent person out of your stupid generation, you obnoxious and useless cunt of a woman!” Sirius’ response was met with a gust of air as she was hit across the face, her mother’s claw-like nails scratching and cutting the face that resembled her own. Her proclaimed ‘Mother’ dragged her by her hair out of the chair and onto the floor, not before throwing her into a surface of some sort, bruising her tainted skin in the process. “My Darling girl, remember one thing during this night and one thing alone. You brought this upon yourself,” she spoke in the closest thing to a motherly tone Sirius had ever heard from her. Unlike the night Regulus had escaped, her mother did not go through a list of curses and spells to try and make her pain last, she spared her the endless and basic list Sirius had grown accustomed to, and she went straight to the unforgivable. Sirius hadn’t even heard her mother utter the spell before she was overwhelmed with an intensive pain, tensing her tormented body and leaving cuts and scratches as Sirius’ body scratched against the shattered glass on the floor, ah, so that was what she’d been pushed into. Her mother screamed and yelled and threw insults as if they’d hurt her more than the Cruciatus curse she was currently being tortured with, and perhaps they would’ve hurt her more, but she couldn’t hear them over the screeching of blood rushing and echoes throughout her skull, she was all of a sudden far too hot, sweating even in the dead of winter on a cold wooden floor stained with her and her brother’s blood alike. She didn’t pay attention to anything, she didn’t look at anything for long enough, she couldn’t find something for her eyes to latch onto to give her comfort and as a result she was stuck seething through her teeth as she dealt with the pain of an unforgivable curse that she’d felt multiple times before. It was rather sad that some people could go their entire life without even worrying that they’ll suffer that pain and yet Sirius has to come to terms with the fact that she could be hit by it whenever she went home. But life wasn’t fair and Sirius’ wasn’t anything close to it, in fact she’s quite certain nothing in her life was fair except for her complexion. 

After what Sirius could only assume was hours of restless screaming and begging, full of hitting writhing on the ground in intensive pain, injuring herself by hitting her limbs on the ground just so that she would focus on something else for a blissful second. It stopped, the continuous spell of pain and hardship ended and Sirius could hear her heavy breathing, she felt tears falling down her face and her limbs twitching as they had been before. She assumed it wouldn’t stop for a while. Sirius caught the end of a conversation between her parents. 

“Have you sent him an owl yet?” Sirius’ stomach dropped.

“Yes, I did so ages ago.” Orion explained.

“Then where is he?” Walburga seethed. 

“Well it’s not unlike Riviera to be late, he has other things to focus on than teaching that foolish girl a lesson.” Her suspicions were confirmed, Riviera would be here and he would deal with her. Sirius’ tears flowed faster all of a sudden, she knew her parents wouldn’t notice, but Sirius did. She had to get out, she had to go. She’d been hurt enough by a curse, let alone by the disgusting hands of an ignorant man just looking for a release. Sirius, although reluctantly, opened her eyes and stared at the scene before her. Her parents were sitting at the table, sitting across from each other, her mother’s back was to her but her father, if she were to stand, would be able to see her. Sirius felt around briefly for her wand, moving her hand from its place on her stomach to feel her thigh was a disgustingly hard task and she was unsure how she’d run if she could barely feel for her wand.  “Kreacher!” Her father’s voice called and the house elf appeared immediately, Sirius heard him walk past her, stepping on glass in the process. 

“Yes, Master Orion?” 

“Get Sirius up to her room and clean her up, I doubt anyone would want her in this state, let alone Riviera.” Sirius wanted to scream, she didn’t want to be wanted, she wanted to leave. Kreacher walked back over to her and in an instant grabbed her hand and she was suddenly on her bed. She always forgot house elves could apparate, or- did she? Perhaps she just forgot at the moment, her brain wasn’t fit to recall much in this state, certainly not a dumb fact about house elves.

“Mistress Sirius, please stand up.” Kreacher asked, Sirius nodded numbly and began urging her body to do so. How was she supposed to run from this stupid house and make it to Potter Mansion if she couldn’t even stand. So through clenched teeth and desperate but silent pleas for strength she sat up, but she didn’t dare stand. 

“I-,” she began and paused when she was struck with a stinging pain through her suddenly very sore throat. She prepared herself for the pain before continuing, “Kreacher, do we have any potions for- um, energy replenishment?” She asked carefully, the house elf looked hesitant, whereas Sirius was just impressed she managed to finish the sentence.

“I don’t think I should, Mistress.” 

“Kreacher, do you really think Riviera will want to deal with me when I can’t even stand?” She felt a sour tinge on her tongue as she realised she was paying attention to Riviera’s needs instead of her own. It’s an act, it’ll get you out just as you managed to get Regulus out. Kreacher shook his head.

“No, Mistress, I’ll be one short moment,” he said and disappeared again, it took all of Sirius’ strength not to collapse onto the bed, but she knew it’d be too strenuous of an act to sit back up. The house elf appeared once more and handed her a purple vial. She opened it and downed it in an instant. She wanted to sleep until she could feel it actually working and replenishing the energy she didn’t have to begin with. She, slowly and while holding onto the bed post for dear life, stood up. Her legs were shaking and she then registered that her entire body did the same. She could feel her body gaining its strength back and although it wouldn’t have been in full affect for at least twenty minutes, Sirius was so thankful for potions, Regulus used to say she relied on them too much and he was likely right but she didn’t care. She was exhausted and in pain but she had a long way to go, how else should she handle her current situation?

“Thank you, Kreacher, now get out whilst I get changed,” Sirius ordered and stared at the elf as he nodded and left. Sometimes she felt bad for him, mindlessly following every order and having no other purpose, but right now was not one of those times, she didn’t have the energy to care. Sirius walked as fast as she could, which happened to be rather slowly, to her desk where she’d left her two suitcases and immediately opened them both, her items one was for the most part already packed she just had to get her textbook for transfiguration in there. “Accio Transfiguration textbook.” It came to her in an instant and she wasn’t prepared for how heavy it was as she nearly dropped it. She placed it down into the case and closed it before looking at the empty one for her clothes. She shrunk down her first one and placed it in her pocket of the somewhat ripped clothes she was wearing. She recognized certain patches of it that were covered in blood, but the dark colour of the clothing helped, her skirt was ripped along the side but it wasn’t major and you couldn’t see much more skin so she left it. 

Sirius’ packing was interrupted by a knock on her door, three knocks in a distinctive pattern the first slow and the other two fast. Sirius’ instinct was to freeze but she did no such thing. Immediately she pulled her wand from her thigh holster and hid it in her ripped sleeve. The door opened and a man entered. The same who had sat in the lounge room the day she returned home. The one who undressed her with his eyes and stared at her with a longing and desire for her looks and body, not her.  

“Well, Sirius. I must say I was told you would be more presentable but we can work with this.” He said as he entered. 

“Riviera,” she whispered, her eyes looking at her still empty clothes suitcase before going back to the disturbing man before her. Fuck it, now or never.  “I’m going to have to ask you to get out of my way.” Riviera raised an eyebrow as if this was a fun game, an amused smile made its way onto his face. Sirius was in no mood for games. 

“Sirius, your parents are concerned-” 

“Stupefy!” She pointed her wand at him and immediately a red light hit the invasive man in the chest and knocked him out instantly. She ran. Dodging the unconscious man before her, Sirius didn’t spare a look at the bedroom she wouldn’t see again, if she played her cards right and ran away fast enough. She ran as fast as she could down the stairs and made it to the hallway before her parents were behind her. 

“Sirius Selene Black, get back here!” Her mother’s voice sounded as she threw spells at her, Sirius dodged and retaliated but ultimately her main goal was to get to the door and leave. Her mother’s aim was appalling and she managed to hit the wall; wood and glass from the damage hitting Sirius’ exposed skin and cutting it immediately. Sirius turned to hit her back, but in turn her aim improved at seeing her target’s face. “Diffindo!” She called multiple times. Cuts appeared on Sirius’ shoulder, a vertical one reaching down to her elbow, one on her leg cutting deep down her thigh and one small one on the face her mother had always considered pristine. Sirius hissed but turned away and ran down the hall, reaching the door in record time, Sirius pulled it open and ran, her mother throwing one last goodbye to her daughter in the form of an insult “Sirius you useless girl! Get inside now!” She didn’t listen. Instead she ran, not caring for the fact that she hadn’t put shoes on and was most certainly cutting open her feet on the harsh road. Sirius ran through the cold night, ignoring the numbing feeling of the sharp air that was piercing her skin. She ran until she was certain they wouldn’t catch her, and then she ran further to ensure her escape. 

Eventually Sirius stopped running, her lungs, feet, and body all begging her to stop, she stopped for a moment in the cold night air, perching on the concrete which turned into kneeling as she heaved and begged for breath. She hadn’t escaped that stupid house only to lose to her lungs and to the environment. 

“Um, excuse me, are you alright?” A voice asked from behind her. Sirius instantly stood up, still struggling for breath, she turned to face the voice and looked at the source with a stare colder than the air that was testing her body. A woman, probably 24 at most, she had dyed hair and blue eyes, attentive and warm. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” Sirius whispered and turned to leave.

“Wait!” She called and Sirius, exasperatedly looked back at her. “Would you like to sit for a moment, just to regain your strength? I have some water as well.” 

“I can’t, I have to go.” 

“Please, you seem like you need help, it’ll only be a moment.” 

“I don’t need your help!” Sirius growled, almost as if she was saying it to not just the woman staring at her, but to everyone who had ever offered. 

“You really do, you’re bleeding a lot, and even if you don’t want my help to patch it, maybe the water and break can help your body sustain itself whilst you get to where you need to go.” Sirius was growing annoyed at the woman’s insistence. But the water sounded nice on her dry throat. And the break sounded like it had been a gift from Merlin himself. 

“Fine, but not for long.” 

“Sure, yes, of course. Here there's a bench just here.” The girl said and went to give Sirius a hand to it, Sirius pulled away and the girl nodded calmly and apologetically before walking over, Sirius followed her and sat down.  “Here, water.” The girl handed Sirius a plastic water bottle and Sirius immediately opened it and began drinking some. Her loose hair had stuck to her face and somehow some had managed to get into her mouth, Sirius nearly choked on it, causing her to pull the bottle away and drag the hair off her face. “What’s your name?” 

“Cassiopeia.” Sirius answered, it was practised, she’d done it whenever she used to go to muggle cities with Alphard, lied about who she was in case someone knew her. Alphard had helped her make it and she found that she used it quite frequently.

“Nice name, did you want a snack?” 

“No, thank you.” Sirius as she pulled the water bottle from her lips and forced herself to close it, saving some for later. 

“What happened?” she asked. Unsure why, Sirius felt compelled to tell her, it’s not like she cared about her family’s reputation any longer, so she explained. 

“Fight with my parents, my mum’s a bitch.” 

“That’s fair enough, I’m sorry to hear it though.” 

“Yeah well, she’s a stubborn bitch who doesn’t seem to understand that I’m my own person.” Sirius swore

“Hm, well, I’ve frequently found that Mothers have a habit of fighting with their daughters because they can’t accept that they’re basically the same, 'you are your mothers daughter,' or whatever people say.” Sirius paused and suddenly felt like throwing up the water she just drank. She wasn’t like her mother, right? No, she raised Regulus, she cared about people, she wasn’t an ignorant cunt, and she didn’t marry her cousin. She’s nothing like her mother. Abruptly Sirius stood up. 

“Right, well… not always, and not this time. I have to go, thank you for the water.”

The stranger nodded and Sirius smiled tightly before continuing her trek, she hadn’t a clue where she was but she knew where it was from when she had discussed the route to the Potter’s home with Remus a couple nights before the holidays, this was the way she had outlined, this was the way Remus said it would be, so this was the way she ran. 

Her feet ached and as did the rest of her freezing and shaky body, she couldn’t tell if she was shaking from the cold or if it was the aftershock of the unforgivable. Sirius had been given many stares and discerning comments from people roaming the streets at night, slowly they stopped as it got later, now there wasn’t anyone she could see. There wasn’t a soul around and Sirius was standing in front of a house she assumed was Potter Mansion. She didn’t know if she should go in but she was stuck for anything else to do, so with a tired expression and frozen blood still present on different parts of her body, Sirius entered the front yard and walked to the door. She wondered if this was how Regulus felt when he had run, she wondered if he was freezing cold and fearful, wondering if anyone was actually going to answer the door. Then she realised that Regulus ran away in summer, which led to another stream of thoughts. Are we always such opposites, were we destined to live different lives? Sirius, with tears brimming her eyes as she thought of her brother and with exhaustion taunting her, knocked sluggishly on the door and held her breath as she counted the seconds. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven-. The door opened slowly and revealed a confused woman, her eyes widened at the sight of the damaged girl before her and immediately led her inside. Sirius was struck with confusion; she was expecting to have to explain her entire life story before entering. Instead the woman brought her into her warm home and sat her down on the couch before whispering an instruction to stay put before disappearing. Sirius looked around staring at the walls, a beige colour to reflect the light that never left the home, there were picture frames covering the walls and different pieces of furniture around. Sirius’ eyes tracked everything as she tried not to fall asleep, but ultimately the energy replenishment spell only did so much for the daughter of torment and she succumbed to exhaustion. 

***

Regulus was awoken early this morning, or late that night depending on your view. It was 5:00 in the morning and Effie’s gentle touch on his shoulder awoke him as she put a finger to her lips to ask him to be quiet before sitting him up on the bed in the room that now belonged to him.

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

“Regulus… this morning I was woken up at about 3:30 by a knock at the door. I went downstairs and opened it and I was greeted by a familiar but unfamiliar face. Your sister ran away from home last night and she’s currently in the room Remus typically stays in. I helped her up there a few minutes ago after I was sure most of her injuries were treated. She was… well, it’s a lot. She fell asleep while I was treating her, whispering things in her sleep, Merlin it wasn't good. But she’s awake, or at least she was when I left. So I was wondering if you wanted to stay with her, she didn’t seem all too comfortable talking to me or telling me what happened, but I need to know the extent of her injuries, her physical ones should be patched up but… considering how you were.” Regulus was struck with so many emotions that at that moment he thought he might’ve died and then come back to life, but instead of focusing on that he nodded and stood up. Effie led him to Sirius’ room and opened the door, Effie followed him in as he entered. In the double bed that was tucked against the wall there laid his older sister. The one who kissed his wounds better, or who comforted him when their parents had been mad. His sister was shaking, and shivering despite the warm temperature of the room. She turned to look at the disturbance and her eyes widened as she saw him and her mouth contorted into a weak smile, it looked as if she was struggling to make the expression but she did so for him. 

“Reggie…” She whispered, Regulus wanted to cry. It was so different then a week ago when they had said ‘bye’ to one another and when she confessed her relationship with Remus to him. It was so different to the energetic and lively girl he knew that Regulus was scared. Nevertheless he walked over to the bed and sat atop the blanket that covered her, careful not to touch her as he did so. 

“Sirius,” he began, he went to place his hand in her bandaged one, looking at her for a moment to ask permission, she nodded, he placed his hand in hers and squeezed it ever so gently. “What happened, Siri?” Now, Regulus was not able to see how he looked when he arrived at the Potter’s home, but he assumed he wasn’t nearly as hurt as his older sister. 

“Ils savaient pour Remus et moi.” She answered, weakly and with a forced smile on her lips. Regulus wanted to ask her why their knowledge of Sirius dating Remus led to this many injuries and this level of hurt, but he knew why, he lived there once as well, not long ago. Regulus looked at Effie for a moment, she looked patient and Regulus knew she was, however he knew what he was here for, it was to ensure his sister was physically okay, they could work on mental health later. 

“Ont-ils utilisé le sortilège Doloris?” Did they use the Cruciatus curse? Regulus wished he hadn’t had to ask that, but he did, and Sirius’ reluctance to answer told him everything he needed to know. “They used it, Effie.” He turned to the woman he’d grown to love as a mother and she nodded slowly before walking out, presumably to get Fleamont and ask for his pain relief potions. 

“What’s she doing?” Sirius asked, Regulus traced circles into the back of her hand, something she used to do to comfort him. 

“Getting some pain relief potions. Fleamont is a potioneer so he should have a few down in the potion lab, it’s part of the healing process, that and rest is all you can really do for the Cruciatus curse.” Sirius nodded silently before moving in the bed. 

“Mrs Potter said I won’t be able to stand and walk for a while, how long do you think she meant?” 

“Why can’t you stand and walk?” 

“I have cuts and injuries all over my feet, didn’t have any shoes on when I ran from the house, and I walked through snow, that likely didn’t help.” She explained. 

“You’ll have to ask Effie, I haven’t seen them so I don’t know. But I’d say she should be able to heal it all up in maximum a week, minimum a day or two.” 

“Hm, that’s not bad I suppose.” She yawned, Regulus smiled at her. “Hey Reg, do you think they’d let Remus visit?” 

“Yes, definitely, they love him. I can send him a letter and he should be here in about three hours.” 

“Great, yeah… thanks Reggie.” She smiled, sincere and caring. 

“Siri, thank you for keeping your promise.” Regulus whispered. 

“When have I lied to you?” Regulus chuckled light heartedly. 

“I’ll get started on that letter, you however, should sleep. I’ll send Remus up when he gets here, okay?” 

“Okay, yeah. I love you, Regulus,” she said as he stood to leave. 

“I love you, too, Sirius,” he replied with a soft smile before leaving.

Remus arrived at 7:23, frantic and worried. Regulus told him all about her condition and most of what she’d been through, sparing the details Sirius had reluctantly shared with Regulus about Riviera. He then told Remus where she was and he smiled and whispered a ‘thank you’ before rushing upstairs. When Remus entered the room and looked at the bed he saw a blanket covering the entire bed and then a pool of black hair peeking out from the blanket at the pillows. He smiled and closed the door before walking over to his girlfriend. 

“Sirius?” He asked as he sat on the bed, careful not to sit on any of her spread out limbs. There was a rustling under the blanket and a tired mumble before the blanket was pulled back and a head emerged. Sirius smiled when she saw Remus and he was just grateful that he got to see her smile again. She sat up slowly and threw her arms around her boyfriend. 

“Remus,” she whispered and allowed him to hug her back, she pushed closer to him and pulled him down into the bed with her before placing her lips on his, as if begging for a kiss. 

“I missed you so fucking much, Sirius,” he said as he cuddled up beside her. Holding onto her waist and pressing soft and delicate kisses to any part of her he could reach.

“I missed you, too.” Sirius allowed Remus to hold her as close as he could, allowing her presence to bring him back to the present moment. It was sweet how he fiddled with her hair, kissed her nose, forehead, cheeks, and lips, how he was so ecstatic over any form of affection, as if he hadn’t expected to be able to do so again. It was only then that Sirius was hit with a brief realisation and she shot up immediately, Remus followed after her, trying to ensure that she was okay.

“Everything alright?” He asked gently, Sirius nodded before pulling the blanket off of her and stepping onto the ground, caught in a haze of remembrance of one thing, she forgot another, rather crucial, bit of information: she wasn’t meant to be standing. She dropped to the ground with a gasp of pain and Remus immediately went after her. Sinking down beside her so fast that Sirius had half a mind to search for the anchor that made him do so. His hands found hers and he held them and asked the same question as before in different phrasing: “Are you okay?” Sirius, despite her condition, found herself laughing softly. Remus put a hesitant hand on her cheek and made her look at him. “Sirius, what’s up?” In truth she didn’t know, she didn’t know why she was laughing, perhaps it was due to the sudden euphoria she felt as Remus’ eyes met hers, the relief that struck her as she realised that she was okay, that she was away from home… and that she had yet to relay her current status to her likely concerned Uncle.

“Alphard- I didn’t tell him I’d run away, what if he goes back and can’t find me. I don’t want to scare him.” Remus nodded calmly and drew circles into the back of her hands. 

“It’ll be alright, we can get Effie or Monty to write to him, they’re friends. For now you need to rest, Sirius, you’re hurt.” Sirius sighed in a slight relief, she was overwhelmed and experiencing all too many emotions that she didn’t understand or want. 

“Yeah, alright. Okay.” She spoke to herself and without warning she tried to stand up once more, Remus couldn’t tell if she had forgotten about the injuries on her feet that rendered her incapable of walking or if she had just decided to deal with the pain. Remus immediately stood up and helped her up, holding onto her waist as she stood, Remus did his best to keep her off her feet as he helped her back into the bed she’d been trying to get to but immediately Sirius shook her head. 

“What’s up?” Remus asked.

“I need to grab something.” 

“Where is it?” Remus questioned and once Sirius pointed at the suitcase in the corner Remus walked over to it and dragged it over to Sirius. She unzipped it after Remus placed it beside her and then ravaged through it, only pausing when she found what she’d been looking for. In her hands there was a small black box which, once she opened it, Remus realised housed something that belonged to him. 

“I told you I’d give it back.” Sirius whispered as she pulled out Remus’ prefect badge and pinned it on his muggle clothing. It looked out of place yet so perfectly fitting, Remus hadn’t realised how much he had been relying on the promise that Sirius had offered him, the insurance that once that badge returned, Sirius would too. Remus found himself with an unmoving smile on his face, his eyes met Sirius’ ones and in that moment Remus was suddenly awestruck and in love, somehow more drunk on the intoxicating emotion than he had been during the term. Remus, in capable of doing anything more, grabbed Sirius’ back and wrapped an arm around it until he’d met her waist before immediately pulling her closer to him, she landed atop his chest in a heap of laughter and blush, not one of the injuries that tainted her skin could’ve made the moment worse. Sirius Black, whilst lying in the arms of the man she loves, has come to the realisation that for the first time in what feels like forever, she is truly happy. As Remus guides a hand through her hair and pushes her head closer towards his as he leans in for a kiss, she realises that for the first time in her lasting memories, Sirius Selene Black is free.