Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No One – The Marias
Love is violence – Aaryan Shah
Headlock (Instrumental) – Imogen Heap
I can´t handle change – Roar
Lui out oi – Alizee
Colors (Stripped version) – Halsey
Ceux qui revent – Pomme
Quit – Cashmere Cat Ft. Ariana Grande
Happy now – Zedd, Elley Duhé
Karma (Acoustic) - MARINA
Who is she? – I Monster

November 13, 2016, Tokyo

"The person you loved the most will teach you to never love like that again."

You´re here… after promising that you would never set foot in this place again, but it was necessary.

Finally, stepping out of the shadows among the trees you contemplate your surrounds, noticing that in almost ten years this place has not change at all, causing a powerful wave of nostalgia to caress your chest, warm and cold at the same time. You give a light sigh, feeling the freezing temperature filling your lungs while the loud crunching sound on the stone and sandy ground against your long boots alerts you that you should be more careful, because of course, is clear that coming was a desperate impulse. Your outfit it’s not archiving successful camouflage. The warm light gray coat covers your ivory long-sleeved knitted mini dress. The loose cowl neck giving you enough space to not make you feel suffocated.

Just not right…

Now closer to the entrance the wind hits your face, forcing you to squint when a few strands of your hair tied into a relaxed updo dance across your view.

You had hoped that the adrenaline would win over the nostalgia that had invaded you, but any hope died when you saw the wooden benches under what a few months ago were leafy trees. Still as a mannequin, you stay stuck for you don't know how much time on the benches, opening and closing your fists nervously... indecisive. You press your lips together, shortening the distance without being able to avoid it, feeling how a battle between warmth and cold breaks out inside you. Once in front of it, you take off your right glove missing the warmth of the ivory cashmere and slowly, your fingers get closer and closer until your hand reach the worn wood.

Closing your eyes softly, you try to concentrate, trying not to fail. You feel the vibrations running through your arm until it reaches your head. You squeeze your eyes shut when something appears. A strong gust of wind hits the wet branches of the trees but you no longer hear it. Instead, there´s laughter and green leaves brushing against each other gently. A soft citrus aroma that at the time made you nauseous and a beautiful scene that during that night in your room it played like a loop inside your head, over and over again. Where you asked yourself so many times why... until you fell asleep.

Why…?

Why?

March 24, 2006 Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School

The sky is clear, only a couple of white clouds adorn the sky and a plane that moves away. You stare until it disappears, wishing you could be there right at the window.

It's a really hot day. The heat under your jacket is suffocating but you manage to hold on. Your mother's visit made it quite clear to you that something was beginning to be wrong with you. You already knew it… you knew but you tried not to think about it too much, but now it was very difficult because you don't want to take off your jacket.

You won´t.

You make an effort to distract yourself, peeling some juicy tangerines sitting on one of the benches in the distance, trying to ignore the squeals and laughter of a group of students in the distance. Suddenly, one of the laughs catches your attention, quite familiar. Almost as loud as Yu's. So for a few seconds your fingers stop and you look up.

His shades hang off the bridge of his nose and his eyes can be seen from miles away. He´s not wearing his jacket and has the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, with a can of soda in his right hand in an attempt to survive the weather. Taking a few sips from time to time to continue his story and suddenly, something made your chest shrink and you wish you had stopped looking but you just weren't able to.

He left his soda somewhere and he started to play around, surely explaining how he exorcised the curse in his last mission because of the way he moved energetically. Then, Satoru took a few steps forward raising his arms in a childish monster like imitation, and one of the girls fell back with a playful squeal as everyone laughed. The way he came over laughing offering her both hands to get up makes your stomach hurt, making you feel alien.

She´s laughing, blushing… blushing and looking pretty, but… that doesn´t hurt. It´s the way how delicately he takes her hands taking a step back to get her to stand up. The scene looking like a cheesy movie. You just swallow with difficulty when you see his big hands on her fragile ones, making you wonder if he thinks they are soft.

Instinctively, you look at yours. Your fingers slightly damp with the juice without any desire to eat the tangerines anymore, even though you are hungry.

Your vision blurs, forcing you to blink several times. Trying to hold back the pout on your lips, you dare to look again. Her short dark hair and big brown eyes contrasting with her pale skin and the soft blush makes her look like a painting but you can´t stop looking at her hands, now stuck to her chest. Probably where her heart beats strongly with pure happiness while yours beat in the same way, only it hurts.

Satoru puts his attention back on the others and your eyes return to your lap where your fingers, now dry, plays with some of the shells of the fruit. Some scenarios are created in your head, in which it is your hands that he takes so, so delicately, so gently. Not in a rush or meaningless.

A tear escaped you and caress your check, the only thing that gives you the comfort and delicacy that you needed it, that you have been longing for.

The horrible heat and how sweet the fruit looks makes you give up, taking a piece of tangerine once and for all. And when the juice wets your lips when you bite the soft piece, you feel it.

Him.

His bright blue eyes stares at your direction for longer seconds and like a mannequin you stay still, looking back at him with wet eyelashes. You wonder if you look as rejected as you feel because he frowns slightly and all you want is to be on that plane, so when two students from the group get closer waiting for him to finish, you take the chance and all Satoru can see after that are a couple of tangerines forgotten on the bench.

The sudden silence becomes overwhelming.

As soon as you open your eyes you stop touching the bench putting back your glove. Willing to break in for once, your heels are buried in the sand as you stop so abruptly. The image of both cheerful girls running somewhere appears in front of you. Shoko's laughter invades every space in your head like many drops of colorful ink into a fresh glass of water.

You shake your head reluctantly and in a dark swirl you dissipate into the air passing under the big doors, slowly taking shape as you walk down the dark hallway. Your steps become slower and slower and you swear you're trying to keep a clear head... but you stop and turn around, quietly.

And you see them.

Both of the young boys smiling at you. One hiding his blue eyes behind his shades and the other keeping his eyes close in a charming way. You can even hear their voices, deep, relaxed… happy.

It was a short illusion, just like the one you´re having. With a sting in the chest you blink and of course, the image fades.

You sigh shakily, being careful of not to make noise with the heels of your boots as you continue, being cautious even with the sound of your own breathing, especially when you're about to get to the backyard. An inexplicably gloomy atmosphere takes over the place making your eyes go everywhere looking for the source of that thing that your intuition tells you exists.

Reaching the old wooden doors at quick pace, you stand on your tiptoes to see through the small window the porch on the other side of the large backyard.

The morgue.

The throbbing pain makes it difficult for you to get the air fully into your lungs, so much that you would like to sit down for a moment. Her crying fills your ears, hugging each other mourning her dearest boy. With your legs feeling heavy you let your heels touch the ground again leaning against the wood trying to compose yourself.
You had imagined that coming here would be difficult, maybe that's why you didn't plan it that well. That way you wouldn't spend the whole night thinking about it, counting the hours left.

With a sigh you rest both hands against the door for support, managing to get to the stairs where time seems to pass slower. Despite how dark it is, you can see some small stains on the walls and some old cracks near the ceiling, playing with one of the buttons on your coat tempted to touch those walls but you think that this bittersweet nostalgia is more than enough. Wherever you look, every hallway, every classroom... there was something to remember, good or bad.

Since you're here, you feel like all this time away has actually been less. Nine years is easy to say, right?

It´s been almost ten years.

Unfortunately for you, once you reach the last steps of the third floor, you don't feel any less emboldened to continue exploring when you see the large window seat near the library, where you can feel the warmth of the sun hitting your legs and the smell of old books in your hands.

As you advance you hear many voices and you are able to feel the touch of the students passing through you as if you were a ghost. Suddenly it's light, late autumn perhaps... you follow the sound of the pages turning and once you turn you see yourself sitting there letting the sun's rays caress your sore knees. Before blinking, the girl looks up and everything is dark again. You run your fingers along the glass feeling the humidity and cold pass through the cashmere glove while the moonlight catches you.

You brush a strand of hair from your forehead before turning slightly. The corner of the hallway would have made your hair stand on end at any other time, you bet you would have imagined someone peeking there but you don't feel anyone nearby, so you take a seat. Seeing the view of that girl back then, where she saw him for the first time and where you used to be accompanied by Suguru before going to bed. You can feel the earthy notes of his perfume and those slanted bright brown eyes looking at you, making you hum your favorite song.

Releasing a ragged sigh you stand up going towards Yaga's office, stopping when you feel someone´s presence. The yellow flashlight illuminates the long hallway very close to where you are standing.

An old man points the light in your direction but you´re no longer there. You purse your lips holding back a giggle once behind him, noticing that you tower over him by a good couple of centimeters. He turns quickly again but this time you are already inside your old teacher's office where he first thing you feel once you take shape is the strong but pleasant smell of coffee.

Everything seems to look almost the same as before. The desk is still in the same place as are the bookcases. The only thing different was the new coffee machine and that the smaller desk where you used to work at the other end of the room is no longer here.

Taking a glance to the door, you can still see the flashlight come and go outside so you walk to the window and lean against the coffee machine cabinet, waiting for him to leave. Smiling when you see the coffee jar that Yaga-Sensei always had the habit of leaving open. Without being able to help it, you take a few beans between your fingers, bringing your hand closer to your nose.

The bitter essence contrasting with the hypnotic sweet vanilla of your fragrance.

Leaving the beans back in the jar you recognize the expensive brand. As you close the lid, you wonder if it was a gift from Satoru. Years ago, every time he got into trouble he would give Yaga-Sensei something like this. He kept scolding him but never rejected his gifts.

You leave the jar next to the coffee machine when you no longer feel the presence of the old man and start doing what you came to do. You don't know how much time passes, but you've gone through all the drawers and shelves with no success. Exasperated, you take off your gloves and throwing them on the desk, cursing under your breath. “Fuck”   

There were books related to all types of seals except the one you were looking for. A red and really old looking book, so old to the point the pages would fall apart between your fingers when you flip through it.

You huff overwhelmed while the vibration of your phone notifies you of a message.

Kaen:
“Nothing yet?”

Airi:
“Nothing… If I find something I´ll let you know”

Kaen:
“ I still think it's a bad idea, you shouldn't be there alone”

He´s right, but this was super spontaneous.

For sure it won´t happen again.

You've wasted too much time wandering through your memories that you could now have been looking for elsewhere. Making a connection with the place will take you some time to try so you rule it out, at least for today...

"A place where we don't lose anyone, a place where... you can be who you are without fear"

You gasp at the sudden flashback.

Frowning, you brush a strand of hair behind your ear swallowing thickly. Hoping this sudden feeling of being completely lost will go away but it remains there, appearing in the middle of your ribs and rising to your chest.

“I need to get out of here”

Before approaching the door, you stay still with your arms crossed as you feel a presence again, waiting to see the flashlight again but this presence gets closer and there is no light pointing down the hallway.

Holding your breath you wait… your senses completely heightened, so much that you could almost hear the stranger's heartbeat. Like something hot bubbling and overflowing over the edges, the curse essence spreads around the place like uncontrolled gas.

Toxic.

Dangerous.

You take a step back when just outside the door you hear stealthy footsteps and then, nothing at all, but the toxic essence is still there. There is no corner where it is not felt but then, something seems to change. That essence that is surely a dark and sinister color, transforms into something clearer…

You frown even more, confused. It´s as if there were two essences trying to mix with each other and quite the opposite, as if they were fighting with each other. All at the same time and suddenly, it disappears as a lighting.

After a couple of seconds of complete silence that gave you a false sense of safety, you dare to take all the steps you took back towards the door and what it seems almost impossible, happens. Remaining frozen, your eyes open wide choking the gasp in your throat when the doorknob begins to move.

How is it possible? You don't feel anyone out there.

The doorknob that at first moved from side to side slowly and silently was now turning frantically, causing the door to move violently making you jump and gasp. Without wasting time, a shadow emerges from your right hand, tightly holding the Katana that is now taking shape jumping back away from the door. It's not long before the frantic movement of the knob stops, letting you hear the sound of your almost labored breathing and the carefree footsteps approaching down the hallway, so relaxed that the only thing missing is for him to start whistling.

“So… you´re not crazy, there two of them after all?” You ask to yourself making the Katana disappear, ready to go out the window but fate has other plans. Sealed the moment you set foot in this school this very night. Deciding how things will be in the next months and in the next years.

This essence…

It's like someone turning on a light bulb after being in a dark place for a long time. You have to squint a little to get used to it. The energy vibrations make your skin crawl so you close your eyes believing it and at the same time not, not knowing very well how you feel but what you know is that it´s not an illusion this time. And you know you´ll only have a millisecond to escape before he throws a purple at the door.

As you fade into thin air you grimace, somewhat displeased and disappointed with the déjà vu. Your mind pulling memories out of the trunk, engraved in all lobes of your brain.

A decisive moment just like this, that it was brief but scary.

Exhausting.

September 28, 2007. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School
Infirmary.
08:48pm

A knock on the door makes you jump from the stretcher. The ice pack that now was just a bag of water fell from your lap making a noise as it hit the floor.

Knock

Knock

Knock

He knock´s at the door again.

"Airi?"

Your heart beats a thousand per hour.

"Airi"

You swallow thickly as you quietly move away from the stretcher, walking towards the window right next to the medical screen.

"Airi!?"

Every time you hear your name coming out of his mouth causes you distress but he doesn´t stop and you hold back the urge to sob.

What will happen now? What will he do now? What does he plan to say? How does he plan to fix this this time?

“Airi, I know you´re in there, open the door”

You let yourself slide down the wall until you reach the floor. Hugging your legs you start to sob quietly and when he insists, as you haven't done since you were a little girl, you pray. “Please, leave” Begging and begging whoever is in heaven or hell for him to leave and like a volcano inside your chest that later you recognize as rage, you curse under your breath full of helplessness. Closing your left hand into a fist, thus avoiding seeing the scar that was left after Shoko healed you a few days ago.

Suddenly, you let a small warmth embrace your bruised heart at the thought of her before it turns into something cold, filling you with worry, uncertainty. Relaxing your fist this time you run your fingers over the scar and you think about the impact of your decision, really taking in what it really means to leave.

This school ended up ruining you but this is all you know, the life and profession you thought you would have until the end of your days. You can explain another day, you know she will understand.

But you don´t want this anymore.

You don´t want to be here anymore.

Driven by this realization, you dry your tears and gather the little strength you have left to stand up and open the window. Surrendering to the pleasurable autumn wind against your swollen face, you close your eyes filling your lungs and climb out the window. Too weak to try to disappear like you usually do.

When you jump from the second floor you land with difficulty. Your knees throbbing as well as your nose but you run, with a few stumbles at the beginning but you run as hard as your lungs and heart allow until you reach the train station.

The road to your house never felt so long while in the infirmary, all he discovered was an empty room and the strong current of wind moving the curtains.

The door was kicked down.

The soft swirl of black smoke finishes dissipating in the air in front of his eyes while you run at full speed towards a small wooded area far from the school.

“I wish they could taste like this…”

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU…? AIRI!”

Your run faster and faster, as if you could leave that memory here.

“Come with me…”

The ground shakes under the claws of the huge scaly creature that comes out from a void.

“You´re weak…”

Snake eyes and fangs appear on your skin and tongue when you climb into the saddle. The sound of the thick chains around the breast´s chest clang when he spreads his wings to fly.

“Come closer…”

The roar of the wings camouflages a scream between the trees and footsteps running towards where the darkness welcomes you again to finally disappear in mid-flight.

“Mommy?”

ʚ♡ɞ

Anger makes him want to tear his eyes out when he cries every time he finishes. He doesn't want to cry but he can't stop. 

The cold wind hits the humidity of his pants and sleeves, sticking to his skin but he doesn't want to stop.  And his smile is still there, stiff, making his face hurt but he has to hold on, he can't scream, he can't laugh.

He won´t stop.

The memory of her sweet smell and the blood on his clothes mix but eventually disappears leaving only the metallic stench, so he closes his eyes imagining it again. His fists open slowly, the dried fluid sticky on his hands.

He was so close...

Suddenly something explodes inside him, rising and filling his chest and getting stuck in his throat. He wants to scream, he just wants to scream.

He falls back, finally emptying his lungs and smiling even more when he hears the roar in the distance, going towards the dark sky.

So, so close.

So close that he...

Disappears.

November 14, OSAKA
12:06 am

The streets of the Namba district are already illuminated in red, green, and yellow. The shops and restaurants are decorated with Christmas ornaments and the smell of nutmeg and hot chocolate fill the cafeterias, but you can't afford to be distracted by that right now since you´re getting closet to Midosuji Avenue.

Despite being alert your pace is calm, fully aware that someone could have followed you and you don't plan on leading that person towards the place that took work to make you feel like your safe space.

Home.

Kaen, who has been your accomplice in this stupid mission, tries to cheer you up on the other side of the line. "We'll keep looking"

“I´m afraid we´ll gave to” you say while you play with one of the last reddish leaves that autumn leaves on the wet pavement with your foot. It will start snowing very soon.

“Airi-sama… what are we going to do about the moles?"

You sigh, looking at the dark sky.

The moles have not given any sign of life for more than 8 days. It was not unusual for them to do it but it was important for all of you to leave at least some clue to know that they are not in danger.

You bite your lips, opening yourself up to the possibility that the worst has happened but you want to have hope, keep faith. "We won´t leave anyone behind, please remind Homura of that, Okay?”

"I will”

The silence that follows is a proof of his concern, and yours.

If that snake pit discover there are spies within the clan you would really regret the loss of your members. And the waters may begin to get turbulent.

After discussing other details, both say goodbye. You need to get home, you've left Miruku alone for most of the day so you begin to quicken your pace, sheltering your hands from the cold inside your pockets and suddenly, you stop dead.  

Fuck…

As if there was any hope that it wasn't true, you look at your bare hands.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

You resist the urge to stomp your foot against the pavement, so you just run your hand through your hair now messy from the flight and cover your mouth feeling your chest melt in anguish, still can´t believing your mistake.

Stupid gloves!

But… against all odds, the panic did not last long.

Nobody saw you.

Right?

No one has any way of knowing those gloves are yours. At best, they might think that Yaga-sensei is a dirty, unfaithful old man. Unless there is someone with the same special ability as you...

You bite your lip, distressed by the possibility. Hoping that´s not the case, you think about the phrase “Fake it until you make it”.

“It wasn´t you, Airi… it wasn´t you” you reassure yourself. If they found you, it wasn't you. What proof could they ask you for? The Bottega Veneta store ticket? Well… It can't be fixed, what difference does it make?

You throw your head back with a sigh enjoying the change in light, no longer as bright as there previous streets. Instead, the soft Christmas illumination decorating some gardens and windows gives a more intimate feel and the girls with several shopping bags or people out for an evening walk decrease as you get closer to your building just a couple of meters away.

And then…

"Haru! Don't run so fast! Your little sister can't keep up with you!”

A couple catches your attention. Their two young children run ahead along with a cute little Dachshund, wearing an adorable blue knitted sweater that matches its leash. The warm scene that was about to make you smile, leaves you with an unpleasant weight on your chest.

It´s... it's been almost ten years.

It's not shame or regret, you think… but the feeling is unbearable enough that it makes you lower your head, feeling somehow unworthy of witnessing something like that.
Stifling a sigh, you dare to take a little look again before continuing. This time feeling like the helpless little girl you once were, longing for something warm like that.

The children whine because they don't want to go to sleep yet, while the canine is wagging its tail without knowing what is happening and suddenly, the puppy's ears perk up, raising his nose to sniff, feeling something. His little nose doesn't stop moving trying to locate what caused him so much curiosity. Then he turns around, tail up, tilting his head side to side.

But it's not a strange smell, nor an approaching storm (Well, probably…) or an earthquake.

Your skin crawls again.

It´s in the wind that brushes your hair, in the air that flows into your lungs, in the vibration of the earth that you can feel on the soles of your feet. Something almost burning reaching your neck.

Brave, you turn slightly over your shoulder following the dog's gaze.

No one. 

“He´s hiding…” Without wasting time you start walking. From time to time you look around you from the corner of your eye but never back. "If he's hiding it means that…"

The little Dachshund gives a nervous bark and in a reflex action you turn to look at the other side of the sidewalk. The mistake caused you to collide with a man. The stranger around his 30´s manages to grab your forearms preventing you from falling. You apologize after his friends ask if you are okay.

You weren´t okay! For god´s sake…

Taking a step back to get away from him, without being abrupt the man refuses to let go of you while some of his friends begin to cheer him on. You, on the contrary, prey to the anxiety and annoyance at the audacity of this man, clenching your jaw you unceremoniously separate yourself from him totally ready to continue on your way but you don´t get to move.

There are no longer doors that separate you anymore.

You peek out slowly and just over the guy´s shoulder who was now apologizing, something vibrant and dangerously blue catches your eye. Satoru's distinct height stands out among the few people that passed by. His retro rectangular shades rest on the bridge of his nose looking at the only thing the man in front of you allows him to see.

Your bright amethyst eyes.

Everyone turns around wondering why your sudden reaction. A slight frown adorning the wary expression on your face, as if you weren't sure if you'd seen Krampus himself or some ghost. But there was no Krampus or any ghost, just a rather tall man looking right at the pretty girl who remains frozen in place.

Satoru, as soon as he feels the gaze of those daring worms on him adjust his shades, willing to approach. He takes a long stride but before his foot hits the ground yours moves slightly, wanting to step back. The movement was more than slight, almost like a small muscle spasm which did not go unnoticed by him. So he stops, putting his foot back.

“Wow, that´s new.” You thought, but the surprise left as quickly as it came.

"Dude let's go, maybe is her boyfriend."

"So what? Look at how the poor thing is, maybe he's not a good guy."

About to roll your eyes you shrink, seeking refuge among the strangers arguing among themselves.

"You'll get us in trouble for playing hero, let's go!"

"Don't be like that, she- huh?" He turns and where he had seen the girl with the most beautiful eyes he had ever met, there was no one anymore. Even the sweet vanilla and jasmine notes of her perfume had faded. “HUH!?”

“Oi! What the fuck was that!?”

"Where did she go!?"

Metropolitan Curse Technical School. Tokyo
12:25am

The principal sighs exhausted.

“What did the watchman said?”  

Only a few lights on the third floor were on, including the one in his office. No one needed to draw the attention of the students right now.

"He couldn't see anyone other than...well" Ijichi places his hand on his arm,  as if in this way he could give himself some calm after what he saw, following with his gaze those in charge of the investigation leaving the office. "He gave immediate notice as soon as he discovered the body" Adjusting his glasses he continues. "They already searched the entire office, nothing is missing but… Gojo found something"

"What is it?" More than being curious about what was found, Yaga frowns at Ijichi's strange expression. “Come one Ijichi, what is it?”

Clearing his throat nervously, he answers. "Gloves, sir, he… he found a pair of gloves on top of your desk” He´s not going to tell the principal about the bad joke Gojo made about it.

"Well, either they belong to the intruder or Yaga-Sensei is a dirty old man."

“Gloves?”

Ijichi nods “From what he said, it seems they belong to a woman.”

The principal crosses his arms, closing his eyes tired.  "Whoever is committing these crimes, why be so careless as to leave something here... why now? He thinks to himself. "Something is not adding up"

“Sir?”

Yaga remains thoughtful for a few seconds. He shouldn't make conjectures so quickly at this point but this went too far.

The first time, everyone came to assume that the school was dealing with a special grade curse but that it was able to cross the school barriers 4 times in the last two months without being detected? Impossible.
Then a pattern appeared, proving that they had been arrogant by not believing that it could have been a person all this time and very contrary to what he thought, it only complicated things even more. He never believed the day would come when he felt that dealing with a curse would be so much easier.

The man enters his office kicking away a part of the door on the floor to approach the coffee machine. It would take at least two liters to survive the rest of the night. "I guess we´ll have to wait, if it was a mistake maybe some DNA could be found”

"Eh… he took them with him.”

That brat…

“Where is Satoru now?” Yaga tilts the coffee jar over the bean hopper but nothing comes out.

“Osaka, sir”

“Osaka?” The vein on his forehead becomes noticeable as he removes the lid, dropping the coffee beans into place but from one second to the next he stays still. Little by little the beans stop falling.

“He found a trail of curse energy all the way there, so he followed it. I think that- huh?" Ijichi watches as the principal slowly puts the coffee jar aside, placing one of his hands on the cabinet as if he needed support. Cautiously, he takes a couple of steps until he´s behind him. It's not possible for him to be angry, right? Gojo offered to patrol the school at night while he was free. If he found something it was logical that he would follow it. "Sir?"

It couldn't be possible.

The former professor runs his hand over his chin giving it a light squeeze. Tense, he tries to put together the puzzle whose pieces fell like lead on his head but he couldn't, it didn't make sense.

What sense could it have?

What was the purpose?

With the lid firm in his strong grip, he leaves the office with heavy steps. Ijichi follows him hesitantly when he doesn't receive a response, stopping right next to him when he stares at the large window seat near the library. The young assistant watches in silence as the director takes off his shades to stare at the large fogged window seat, managing to see a face that he has only seen once in the past.

“Principal Yaga, they found something”

Both turn towards a young blonde with short hair, agitated as if she had run and unlike many times, her face is now duller but it´s Yaga who feels more anxious. The feeling of familiarity and mourning colliding within him.

He doesn't want to go through this again.

Ijichi still can't understand it yet, neither when he notices the light fingerprints on the window that had the Principal's full attention. He stares for a few seconds before following them to the gym, where as soon as he set foot there he already wanted to leave. The already completely damp blanket covering the body just a few meters away caused a chill down his spine, unable to help but look down.

“What did they find, Akari?”

The girl's lips open to speak but only ends up closing her mouth swallowing whatever she was about to say when the gaze of this man who, if the devil ever came to earth would use his form, falls on her. This did not go unnoticed by either Yaga or Ijichi, so being discreet they decided to leave the questions for later.

“Principal” The tall man greets taking a drag on his cigarrette. "I'm sorry to have to see you again under the same circumstances." With that, his eyes rest on the girl almost sternly, warningly even. Akari decides to take this as fuel for her lack of sleep and smiles kindly, situation that makes Ijichi nervous.

"I'm afraid we don't know how many more times there-“

"They found a knife… right into the girl's heart" Says the blond assistant interrupting the Princiapl Condemning the atmosphere of the conversation. Then the former professor whispers something that no one could hear. Maybe a “please”, maybe a “can't be” but just as Ijichi couldn't listen, he didn't dare to ask either.

The detective holds a grimace with his mouth while putting out his half-smoked cigarette inside its case. "Indeed." Giving the girl one last withering glance, he turns his attention to Yaga. "We found a knife."

"A knife?" Yaga squeezes the lid tightly in his hand. "So... we're not talking about a curse?"

"Maybe, maybe not"

Akari frowns, internally criticizing how inefficient this detective is while Ijichi stepped forward next to her whispering "Could it be a non-sorcerer perhaps?"

"It wouldn't be so strange, but... what's the point?" She whispers back and Ijichi bites his lip anxious. He has seen so many things done for stupid, shallow and meaningless reasons. It could be a cult, a simple crazy person doing it for money.

Who knows? At this point, what could surprise him?

He bites his lip harder when Akari stops whispering and raises her voice for what she says next. "What's not clear to me is why so much secrecy? Yaga Masamichi is the Principal."

The detective twists his mouth into a slight smirk that is difficult to decipher. "Oh it's not about that young lady, it's just a small consideration for those who may be punished for obstructing an ongoing investigation."

“Akari…” The Principal puts his hand on the girl's shoulder. "I'll take care of this, please find someone to inform the girl's parents”

Without protesting but biting her tongue, the girl turns to leave throwing daggers with the eyes at the detective but stops in surprise when Yaga asks Ijichi to leave with her. He just nods, walking next to Akari exchanging a look.

Once they were gone, the Principal confronts this man who, since he started dealing with him, has given him nothing but half answers.

"Quite fierce for being so small"

"She's just doing her job."

"And what is her job? Besides being a little bird"

Yaga adjusts his shades taking a step forward ignoring his provocation and asks directly. "What the hell is going on here?"

There was no tense silence because as soon as he asked the question, the detective gave his answer.

"If you let us do our job without meddling too much maybe we can figure it out.”

"I don't forget that you are the head, but you should remember what my role is in this school. Now let´s be clear, the assistant was right. You are hiding something."

The detective, with his head held high but looking down nonchalantly, makes a gesture with his mouth in the same way, but Yaga knows it’s fake, feeling the urge to punch him in the face.

“There´s nothing to hide, Principal”

Without further ado the detective gestures to two of his colleagues indicating that it´s time to leave but he takes a step back because Yaga grabs his arm preventing him from moving forward.

"This doesn't seem to be a matter for the higher ups, if so I would know, so what's the problem?"

"If you don't know it's for a reason, if they didn't inform you of anything it's because that's how it should be."

Yaga was no longer interested in maintaining the composure but he also didn't want to behave like Satoru. Although something inside tells him that the six-eyes would make some similar comment, so he does. "Something tells me that if I asked them... they would have no idea. Although you should know that it will reach their ears anyway, so again, what's the problem?"

"Your time is yours, you can waste it as you please" The detective lifts his chin with no intention of appearing more imposing than he already was. It was no necessary. "Just know that if you start investigating on your own-"

"No one is going to obstruct your investigation, but this is the last time I hear that you threatened one of my assistants, or me." Like two dogs with their tails high waiting for one of them to take the first bite, they stay like that for a few seconds, complicit in each other's truth.

But neither of them has time to waste, nor do they need more problems so he leaves his arm free.

"We'll see you soon, Masamichi Yaga."

"I hope not"

The man stops halfway through the door and lights a cigarette again, looking towards the farthest trees where the light from the poles does not reach and says. “Something tells me that we will”

Yaga understands but he wishes he didn't.

Its meaning goes much further.

Much, much further.

Destiny is a complicated thing but could this be called this way? Destiny? Or the world is simply too small. There are still too many pieces that he can't fit together now.

Wearily, he massages his forehead as he finishes crossing the basketball court. Then his phone rings, and hoping to be wrong, he picks up the call. “Well?”

“Ding Ding Ding!”

“Who?” Yaga stops in front of the girl's body now inside a bag about to be moved to the morgue, admiring the lid in his hand as if he hadn't seen it in a long time, almost praying. And when he receives the answer he closes his eyes, hoping... just hoping because indeed, he won´t believe it.

He won't.

"You better sit down, you won't believe this."

ʚ♡ɞ

Already in the underground parking lot, you press the elevator button incessantly until the doors open. Your tense back finally resting against the walls, but just for a brief second because the elevator stops on the first floor.

Without making any movement you expected the worst but there's no one waiting outside. Cautiously, and with the same feeling in the pit of your stomach hitting you hard as it did years ago, you press the button refusing to peek outside. The seconds pass horribly slowly, scared that at any moment someone will put their hand preventing the doors from closing again. But nothing happens, and you can breathe again. Now feeling falsely safe when the elevator takes you to your floor, you rush to your apartment closing the door behind you.

After throwing your keys to the couch you slide through the door until you´re sitting on the floor. Your head falls back feeling all the fatigue at once when suddenly an even more dangerous threat emerges from the darkness of your apartment.

A white ball of fur with light brown spots on its legs and on the tips of its long ears comes hopping towards you.

Miruku, your Belier bunny welcomes you demanding an explanation.

You take the bunny to put him on your lap, stroking his soft droopy ears. “I'm so sorry, I didn't plan to be gone for so many hours."

The bunny jumps out of your lap, hopping towards his pen showing his discontent.

Obviously, ignoring you.

"Don't you want to forgive me?"

He stands on two legs, chattering his teeth while you unzip your boots. "I´m afraid I don't know how to interpret that."

Stomping his feet he goes to his little velvety cave, depriving you of his adorable presence.

"Sassy bun..."

And just as he has deprived you of his adorable presence, you no longer have anything to distract yourself with. You stay a bit longer on the floor not wanting to delve into how you feel after seeing him again.

You tried, you really did.

You look around you making a compilation of all the key moments that led you here, and inevitably they lead you to him, to them. Since you left, you had begun to believe that in your case, destiny was something you could control but it turns out to be like a small crystal ball that now falls to the ground, completely shattering. You can't try to repair it without getting cut by the little pieces. Too many pieces to know where each piece goes.

Was this your destiny? With your fingers bleeding, your hand rests on your chest, feeling your heart still pounding. But the consequences of your actions or not knowing with certainty what your destiny would be are not what bothers you now. Standing up, you resent the fact that it feels like you dropped out of school yesterday. (Running away, hiding, and being "protected" by a wall.)

The only difference is that now you weren't crying, because you don't do that anymore, not too much. Suddenly, the urge to protect yourself tells you incessantly that you´re a complete stranger next to that fragile girl that used to cry all the time, you are no longer her.

But… you know it’s not truth. Disappointed, you admit it. You´re not a stranger, she´s not a stranger either. That girl wasn't someone else, it was you. This beating heart was hers, yours. This same heart, this same brain and you haven't been able to forget. You may have changed but the memories have not. That doesn't happen with memories, memories or the truth don't change over time.

Without turning on the lights, you approach the large window to close the curtains while Miruku comes out of his warm cave to start jumping everywhere after turning over his bowl of food.

"At least you're having a good night..."

You´re mad.

Jaw clenched as you pick up the food Miruku threw because your brain begins to travel against your will, because you´re tired but you don´t want to go to bed.

You´re mad because what will happen when you try to close your eyes if your mind is now going a mile an hour?

Sinking into the foaming water, you let the warm water relax your muscles. Resting your head back against the tub you look up at the ceiling wondering what you'll obviously be wondering all the time until something actually happens.

“What will happen now…?” Taking your left arm out of the water, the foam sliding down your skin reveals a long whitish line. Your eyes remain fixed on the scar that runs from the palm of your hand to your forearm.

“I´ll explain… I´ll explain everything”

Splashing some water, your arm submerges again.

Will you see him again?

                                            "Are you OK? You look like you're going to faint…”

This time, Shoko's voice was like a shock wave against your eardrums that even made your teeth hurt, then a zip echoes in your head. And it echoes, and it echoes, and it echoes again.
You intend to get out of the tub but you stay still hugging your legs, resting your chin on your knees.

You´ll definitely see him again.

Your forehead falls against your soapy knees regretting this night. Of all the nights... why did it have to be this one?

Because destiny is a complex thing.

"I screwed up"

You see the scar on your forearm once again as you release your knees, resting your head back on the tub. The questions and memories don't stop but just to be able to sleep well, you try to think about the ones that once made you feel good. Those days that made you hum your favorite song, despite the subsequent pain.

Closing your eyes, you let the melancholic piano start playing inside your head, then your voice echoes lightly off the walls of the bathroom, returning to your ears carrying vibrations to your chest.

“Où est IL…quand il m'abandonne, toute la vie… Est loin” Your fingers brush your neck searching for something that is was no longer there. “Où est lui, j'aime sa voix d'homme… sans lui il n'est rien”

Your fingers caress the skin of his neck. Your thumb running over his Adam's apple to grab the back of his head removing the tie that holds his black hair, tickling you when some strands brush against your face.

The tall boy ran past you laughing, the essence he leaves dancing in the air makes you imagine a fresh and sweet ocean.

He shout something to his friend.

The vibration is loud but when it reaches your ears, it feels nice.

"Lui est plus vieux, je porte son pull marine… l'eau de ses yeux, est bleue, d'un bleue des mers de chine”

The girl hands you his navy blue sweater, assuring you that he wouldn't be upset. You feel the heat of his body on you and it's like he's hugging you.

How you would like to hug him and have him do it back.

You had those blue eyes so close that you could dive into them and you know you would have a hard time staying afloat, but it was okay.

You would happily drown in them.

"Il est mystérieux, dans sa stratosphère… entre les deux, je voulais les deux”

When you see him sitting there super relaxed with his legs wide open, you wonder what it would feel like to be snuggled between them.

And when he drinks his tea, you´d like to be the hot liquid that touches his lips.

You would like him to touch your hand.

Just a touch and you would know he cares.

“J'ai dans le cœur comme un poids, dans la gorge comme une épine”

It shouldn't feel this bad.

Would he be thinking the same thing? You don't think so, otherwise, he wouldn't have you in his arms, feeling his hot breath hitting your cheek as he attacks your mouth with no compassion.

“De n'avoir fait le choix… lui ou toi…”

They both had a space in your heart.

One decided to destroy that space, leaving little by little because the door was always open and now another is leaving too, and it was even more painful because you opened the door for him.

"Lui ou toi"

"Where I'm going... you can follow me"

“No…”

 “WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!? AIRI”

Zip…

When you finish drying your body your steps take you towards the glamorous bronze piece in a corner of your bedroom. The full length mirror showing you how calm you look but there in your eyes, it's another chaotic story, that's why you finish putting on your pajamas and brushing your hair in the seette.

You try to take your time with the cream on your legs, glaring at your bed as if it were your true enemy, although you are dying to cover your body with the soft sheets. But if you do, no one assures you that sleep will stay to save you.

Giving up, defeated and tired you get into bed, a little calmer when your bunny jumps next to you when you´re getting between the covers. He comes and goes jumping everywhere, always hyperactive at this hour. You'd rather he be the one who doesn't let you sleep tonight… or the next ones because you know there will be plenty of them. And as if the little rodent wanted to punish you for leaving him alone for so long, he leaves the room, stopping making noise. Lying on your side you look at the door waiting for him to come again but nothing happens so finally, you close your eyes.

And with one last sigh you fall asleep.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? AIRI!”

Your body jolts.

A slight throbbing settled in your nose and you swear you can feel the metallic taste of blood in your mouth.

You turn in bed, trying to turn your back on this sensation that opens like a flower in the morning but is inside you, there right between your ribs pounding hard. It gets worse when you close your eyes again because now, everything is blue. But his eyes weren´t looking at you calmly like they did a few hours ago, nor did his skin wrinkle slightly around his eyes in a super charming way when he laughed, just as you used to remember.
They were looking at you with anger, with disappointment. The slight wrinkles were no longer light but hard between his eyebrows. His sclera was red as if he were going to cry, or as if he were going to explode.

And he did.

Despite the time, there was never a day where that moment and what it meant felt like a little thorn in your finger. Quite the opposite, it was like a stake stuck in your neck choking you with your own blood.

It felt like you dropped out of school just yesterday.

" Why did you lose so much weight? "

It’s still dark, you still have a chance to catch up on a couple of hours of sleep but before that, you did not sob, nor did you cry profusely. Just a few delicate tears being absorbed by the pillow falls as you dream.

Zip!

6:00 am.

Your eyes snap open with the alarm, feeling the lack of sleep in them.

Cautiously, one of your legs moves slowly across the bed stopping at a lump that, to your relief, is a tiny one, chubby but tiny. You know that Satoru would dare to enter your apartment and wait there at the end of the bed for you to wake up to try to get whatever he wants from you.

“Good morning, sir”

You stretch watching Miruku getting out between the sheets feeling envious of him. How you would like to be a domestic bunny and not having to leave home. What if he's still out there? Would he have managed to follow you home? Could it be that if you open the curtains he would be there levitating in front of your window? You don't feel anything, but you still don't open the curtains and go straight to the bathroom.

After a quick shower you sit at your vanity table wearing a plum silk robe and start your daily routine. Prepping your skin and put on a subtle make up to then start fixing you hair. You run the brush a couple of times through your long hair with delicacy, always checking the brush to see how many hairs have fallen out. You haven't seen more than 6 or 7 hairs for many years, but you still do it every morning because if there´s something you were always proud of, it is your abundant and voluminous hair. Always taking care of it.

You rub the oil between your hands before running them through your locks until reaching the ends. When you finish, you take a small strand staring at it, remembering how sometimes Shoko used to make a super thin braid when she was bored in class, until you left the classroom with up to 12 mini braids. Sometimes they also played with it and you´d fight not to fall asleep when they did because they weren't expert movements like Shoko´s, making it strangely relaxing. One tried to imitate your best friend by making creations not worth mentioning and the other used to twirl your locks with his finger. Just like you do when you're anxious or nervous.

Calm, slow and…

Enough.

You take all your hair and start arranging it into a polish rope braid, elegantly falling down your back. And before getting up from your vanity, you put on the same rose gold hoops earrings you wore last night, almost finishing putting the look together.

The light of the walk in closet turns on but your eyes were already fixed on a medium blue box in the corner. Allowing yourself just two seconds before looking away and approach one of the shelves.

"Call me when you feel better, okay?"

If you could describe how her voice sounded at that moment, would be like a piece of burning silk, soft but you know it hurts.

You never called her.

Finishing buttoning your black double-breasted coat, you take a pair of rings from the jewelry drawer, arranging them on your fingers. You leave the closet with a pair of tall leather boots, taking one last look at your outfit in front of the mirror, satisfied.

All black.

The only striking item was your red manicure because big apple red never fails.

Your eyes finish admiring the fit of the coat hugging your waist until through the reflection of the mirror you see the dark red bottle on your vanity table. Mortified, you put on your burgundy leather gloves, rolling your eyes doing a mental note of the perfume that will be prohibited from use until further notice.

"Excellent Airi, excellent..."

Disconnecting your phone from the charger you say goodbye to Miruku who peeks out from under the covers. “If I don't come back before six, I'll reward you with something delicious"

The bunny settles back into the warmth of your bed after you scratch his head. Although...

The thought that pops into your mind makes you sit on the bed next to Miruku, searching again for his warm body under the covers.

Will you return home?

Today? Tomorrow? Ever?

With Miruku in your arms you leave the bedroom. Halfway, you make the mistake to look at your closet where you could perfectly see the stupid blue box almost calling you. It was like a sad song that you didn't want to hear but somehow the lyrics had something that could make you enjoying it.

"Happy birthday! I knew it´ll look great with your princess hair."

"Happy birthday... Airi-Chan"

You leave Miruku in his pen, and after filling his bowl with food you caress his ears, promising him.

“I´ll be back before six”

Walking down the hall you sharpen your senses, feeling safe to take the elevator but when the doors close, there in the reflection it's a girl in uniform what you see. Her long hair is arranged in a half updo and a silver hairpin adorns it. You resist the urge to reach your hand up to your head to touch something that hasn't been there for a long time but as if a force that doesn´t belong to you took control of your body, your hand does go up to your neck. The girl in the reflection does the same, taking something delicately between her fingers.

The doors open giving way to some neighbors, undoing any spell that had you in that trance.

“Fuck” You curse internally, closing your eyes seeking patience and control.

You keep your eyes down as you exit the elevator with about three other people going to their respective cars but you head further away, towards a less lit part of the underground parking lot. When everyone leaves, you walk towards the wide exit climbing the parking ramps with slow steps doing everything possible to hide your presence, your essence. The little light outside encourages you to keep walking although you know it won't help if he´s out there, because you know he is.

You can feel him, and there is a maximum probability that he can feel you close too.

You shove your hands in your coat pockets, reluctantly admitting that you feel anxious but in an odd way, like a girl playing hide-and-seek rather than a criminal being wanted. Maybe it's because deep down you think… you wonder if he...

You stop walking when the light from a pole illuminates the tips of your boots, managing to see a couple of cars parked on the street and just like the mist of your breath you vanish into the air.

ʚ♡ɞ

He found you.

The tinted windows of the black Rolls-Royce Phantom were fogged up, but he was still able to see you through them. He admits that he´s pleasantly surprised, it was not an easy task.

He locks his phone after hanging up the call with Ijichi, leaving it on the passenger seat and begins to tap his thumb against the steering wheel smiling to himself, satisfied that he wasn't wrong. He had lost track of you when you managed to escape among those guys but he stayed all night prowling the perimeter until his six eyes detected something… quite different from years ago.

What was once like a bunny's hole, where he could walk through some meadow and easily find what he knew was there between the grass and the land.

A fearful little bunny.

Now, he doesn't know if what he's trying to describe is crazy or not, but that's how he feels. An almost translucent silk curtains in purple shades with a small flame on the other side that allows him to see a soft silhouette. If he gets closer he can feel a suffocating heat almost making him dizzy, forcing him to stop.

Unattainable

 And there's something trying to reach his ears that he knows he shouldn't let in, but what he's not sure about is what's more hypnotizing, whether it's the flame moving incessantly that seems to get bigger and bigger, hotter and hotter or the song that whispers and caresses his eardrums.

That´s definitely not a cute little fearful bunny. 

Enigmatic and... Dangerous.

Very dangerous.

Satoru stops looking at the nice building and takes off his sunglasses as a fairly detailed image of your amethyst eyes is captured in his head. He won´t deny his chest shrink when he saw those eyes again, and he thought about them all night. Would you have felt the same? He´s not sure, since it´s more likely that you ran away for different reasons. It wouldn't be a surprise if in the next few days he sees you moving boxes to a truck to go live on the other side of the world, either because of him or because of... because of suspicions.

"What are you up to...?"

Your presentation card lays between Satoru's long fingers, poking his index on the tip and gently running his thumb across your name. 

Airi Mizuki

Clinical child and adolescent psychologist.

His voice comes out almost in a soft whisper, caressing one of the cashmere gloves resting on his legs with the other hand. Frowning, he feels strange. A war between his head and his heart, where this one takes with force and desperation that memory of you that wants to be separated by his reasoning wanting to open his eyes.

Leaving the presentation card on his pocket, he starts the vehicle.

Maybe…

Satoru feels his mouth dry, squeezing the steering wheel in his hands. He stops at a red light waiting for pedestrians to pass, frowning as he tries to discard the idea but well...why couldn't it be? He owns the six eyes and yet… He was so blind.

Before some things from the 2007´s box comes out to stab his conscience hard and deep, like your big eyes shining when something made you curious, sharp and defiant when you didn't like something, Yaga's voice ordering him to stay away from you or his best friend's dark circles, the traffic light saves him giving him the green light.

Arriving at the Marriott Miyako Hotel, Satoru leaves his car with the valet and enters an elevator. Alone, he opens a half-empty folder where the photo of a pale dark-haired boy with terrible under eyes lies. "I still have a lot of work to do"

From the same folder, he pulls out an elegant invitation. His full name printed in silver cursive reflects the light from the ceiling. "I don't think they'll want to give me that much time for you, I'm afraid, but who´s going to find out?" He smiles to himself, knowing perfectly well that he doesn't need anyone's permission, although the painful claws of reality catch on his eyelids to show him how cruel it is, trying to remove it from his face, almost succeeding but something tells him that he´s not wrong. Now, putting his hand in his pocket, he gives a slight squeeze to the gloves, feeling the cashmere soft and nice to the touch.

A cute little bunny can't do that much damage.

Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School.
12:06pm

Yaga moves his teacup in circles sitting in front of Tengen who doesn't seem to be very interested in his. Taking off his shades he rubs his forehead thinking that perhaps Tengen was asking too much.

“I would like it to be... peacefully. Do you think it's something Satoru Gojo can achieve?"

"..." The former teacher crosses his arms releasing a heavy sigh.

The truth is Yaga would rather go himself than send Satoru. It's been too long for him to dare say he knows you but he's almost certain you wouldn't want to be around the silver-haired teacher. But again… given the circumstances it´s clear why Tengen wants to send precisely him.

Why? Because Satoru Gojo is the strongest and because… how strong you are it’s a terrifying mystery.

He puts his sunglasses back on and suggests something different… safer. “What about Yuki?”

"From what I know so far they haven't seen each other in three years, last time in france” Master Tengen stands up walking to the terrace "And the last time I saw Tsukumo was four months ago"

Yaga just shakes his head. "I still believe she´s a better option if you want it to be peaceful. If you send Satoru… she could take the message the wrong way.”

“Why would that be? We are not accusing her of anything.”

The principal clenches the jaw at the knowing tone in his voice and leaves his cup of tea aside. He already learned the hard way that things can always change for better or worse, so needing to hear it from someone other than his own voice in his head, he asks.  "Do you think that...” He swallows hard, trying to hide the fact that it wasn't difficult for him to do so. “That she had anything to do with the murders?"

Tengen remains silent with his hands resting on his back. He knows the road may be long or short but whatever the case, it will be very turbulent for you. “That´s why I have summoned you here. Indeed it has to do with her, I´m afraid” He turns to see the man who has lost the color in his face, so being compassionate continues quickly. "But it wasn't her"

The knot in Yaga's chest loosens letting him breathe, leaning forward to ask who the culprit is.

Tengen takes seat in front of him. What he´s going to tell him will be more than enough to make sense of what Yaga believes is a mere coincidence. "The head of the Kyoto Sorcery investigations brigade… in charge of this case is a widower, he lost his wife almost ten years ago, Yaga... do you know who his wife turned out to be?"

“…” and there is it… Yaga has the small piece in his hands, the strangest and most irregular-edged piece of the entire puzzle. “What a small world we´re in” He thought.

Tengen says the name anyways and then, the name of the culprit. The Principal's countenance changes to a duller one, fitting the only missing piece.

Coincidences take a lot of planning.  

"Please talk to Satoru Gojo as soon as possible, it is important to emphasize that discretion is what matters most now.”

"But if you bring her to Tokyo he could see her, he will recognize her as soon as he sees her and he´ll-"

"Fate is a fragile thread." This time, Tengen does drink his tea, cold though. "Both of them are hanging on to it but…” He looks at the folders with the files of the deceased students. "He is the one who is most likely to fall"

“I don´t understand… How can they even be so sure that Airi was the one who-" Yaga stops suddenly, the knot reappearing in his chest because truth be told, it makes all the sense in the world. You never liked injustices but perhaps that is going to cost you quite dearly.

"Clearing this up will be quite a problem and hiding her even more.” Tengen stands up walking towards a shelf full of books, taking a fairly thick one very carefully. "That is our mission again"

“How will it even be possible? This complicates things even more." Yaga runs both hands over his face wanting to get rid of his headache. "Have you even wondered if she wants to stay hidden?"

Tengen has a hunch.

And no, he thinks not.  

"We'll find out soon, now…” Tengen opens the book to a specific page. The faded scriptures and the fragile pages recorded the passing of the years. "Order Satoru Gojo to bring Aiko Zenin to me."

Chapter Text

Easy – Son Lux
New Person, Same Old Mistales – Tame Impala
Allie X – Bitch
Fly on the wall – T.A.T.U
Killer – Mareux
Слёзы - IC3PEAK
Memories – leadwave
Killing Boys – Halsey
Carrousel – Amir, Indila
Valley of the Dolls – MARINA
You brought a new kind of love to me – Billy Cotton
People You Know – Selena Gomez

November 14^th, Osaka.
1:35p.m

The steaming cup of vanilla latte lies next to your laptop where you have tried not to stop typing since morning.

“Come closer…”

Your right hand goes to a certain point behind your ear as if hearing her voice had caused you some kind of physical discomfort.

Taking another sip you look out the window, just like you've been caught yourself doing incessantly since you arrived. Starting moving your foot non-stop you finally leaving the keyboard alone letting yourself fall back in the comfortable leather chair cushioning your anguish for a while but just for your fingers to start playing with the rings on your hand.

Satoru is not stupid like you would like him to be.

Your chest feels tight as you sigh, standing up to put on your coat. Looking out the window once more, knowing the risk that comes with going where you want to go now, you walk over to the desk and take your phone looking for the letter H since the name is usually at the bottom of your chat list. Once the message is sent, you grab your things and leave the center to take a taxi and against all odds, you don't feel his presence when you're walking down the street, but the road to your destination does feel extremely long anyways.

Even the traffic light takes a while to change.

The whole way you go with your fingers on your rings without stopping to look out the window, feeling a bit anxious when the tall buildings are gradually changing to condominiums and beautiful houses surrounded by trees, recognizing your stop.

You walk as slowly as you can with the excuse of enjoying the cold fresh air that you needed for your lungs since you arrived to work, concentrating on the sound of your heels passing by the reddish leaves on the pavement when you´re closer.

And then you arrive.

All the houses were quite similar but nothing minimalist like the typical Japanese style. The greenish tones and the infrastructure gave it a country Italian feel.

Nice.

You stay for a few seconds with your hand on the fence, uselessly indecisive. You have no other option. It makes a slight metallic screech when closing it behind you, returning your gaze to the man in one of the second floor windows, trying to hide your arrogant smirk.

You know you´re not welcome here, not by him.

The flutter of your thick coat brushes against a rose bush about to finish their cycle, causing some pale petals to fall to the ground. You don't stop to wonder why you have this feeling of Deja vu when you see them fall, since it has been with you since yesterday. Instead, you approach the door that has been opened for you. The cold air and the smell of wet earth changes to a warm cozy one. And how would it not be? Noriko is who receives you.

Your cousin´s wife, your dearest friend.

As if destiny were a spider web that grabs you and doesn't let go, life did its thing and allowed you to meet her at university.

And Haruki...

It´s been a long time, that´s why your hug is tender since her 7-month-old belly was quite big.

Twins were on the way.

“And my cousin?” You ask while Noriko insist in helping you with your coat.

“Oh he´s grounded” Noriko makes a nonchalant gesture with her hand. “He wants me to sit still all day so I lock him in his library and decided to prepare lunch” She says entering the kitchen. You smile leaving your boots at the entrance and instead of following her you let her know that you´ll go for him.

With a calm pace you head towards the wide staircase, admiring the spaciousness of the house. Fighting against the heaviness in your chest when you think about how ideal and moving it is for two children to run and play at ease but suddenly you can´t stop it. You try to ignore the fading out-of-tune and shrill laughter of children but the sound becomes so loud it makes you want to shake your head. Then, you turn towards one of the windows that overlook the garden because you know what´s coming, so you decide to get it over with it. There among large bushes and red camellias that aren't really out there, you fuzzily spot the girl hiding, trying to look inside.

The image disappears as soon as you blink but you still have to hold on tightly to the railing, even more after cursing and turning on your heels to go up a step, when the simple creaking of the wood makes the torture continue.

The image came to your mind like a flash while the creaking continued to stab your eardrums.
The displeasure is such that if you dare to look at the ceiling you´ll be able to see the ro-

“You took pills from your patients or something?”

Haruki stands next to you at the end of the stairs holding his mockingly laugh when he sees you with your eyes glued to an invisible point on the wall.

Coming out of your trance, you stare at him blankly. “Of course not”

ʚ♡ɞ

Zenin Residence, Tokyo.
2:45pm

“Please no, god, please no, no, no…”

The girl runs through the hallways of the mansion trying not to trip over the hem of her skirt. Her now pale face wears a look of pure panic, holding the cry that wants to come out of her mouth.  

Within the fear and helplessness, she made sure that no one has followed her and goes into the trees to reach the river. She can hear the sound of water getting closer but the agony is too much, making her stumble.

Her hands burned against the wet earth as she tried to break the fall, her cheek regaining some color from the hit and with a grunt, she gets up running faster and faster, allowing herself to stop only when her knees and hands are under the water.

The temperature makes her gasp and inevitably lets out a cry seeing how the water lights up in bright shades of blue. Suddenly a heartbreakingly familiar scream is heard, so loud that the birds take flight away from the trees.

So loud that her tears no longer stop flowing from her eyes, so wide and scared.

“Please… no”

ʚ♡ɞ

After a pleasant lunch, Noriko fell exhausted on the comfortable sofa. Her silver blonde hair spread across the pillow while her hands rest on her bulging belly.

“I think she´ll also give birth while asleep” Haruki says watching his wife's chest rise and fall calmly from the terrace.

“Are you nervous?” You ask before taking a sip from your tea, admitting that the question is stupid.

"No, well... now a little bit" He looked at you also taking a sip of his. Despite the circumstances, and knowing that this should not have happened, you want to give him some words of encouragement, but before you say anything else he adds something really NOT funny. "Maybe he wanted to ask you out"

Your expression leaves him confused, he doesn´t know whether to laugh or hide from you, while you just clear your throat deciding whether to smack him or smash the teacup against his head.

 "Of course, I must have made a very good impression for him to follow me to Osaka"

And then, Haruki is choking on his tea, his hand on his chest trying to clear his throat looking back at his wife questioningly. “He followed you? I thought he just saw you!”

“Calm down, he doesn't know anything about this, about me”

“How can you be so sure?” The look Haruki gives you and the tone of voice he uses doesn't please you at all. "He takes care of the Zenin boy, doesn't he? What if he already found out?"

Something stars bubbling in the center of your ribs when he mentions the boy, an intense fire. “He taking care of Megumi was just a coincidence. I highly doubt that he started looking for other relatives out of the blue, it makes no sense”

“Then why did he follow you?”

You roll your eyes leaving your tea aside. Wanting to tell him that future fatherhood is not doing him well, explain to him that if you sneak where you shouldn't at an unusual hour is obviously suspicious, that Satoru teaches there, that there was no wonder why he was around, that it was bad luck, that's all. But you should have foreseen that his stupid questions like yours had an ulterior motive.

"Anyway, for one reason or another…” He plays with his spoon nonchalantly. “You already have his attenti-."

"Yes... one must be careful"

Haruki's bravery tends to disappear as soon as he finishes speaking, and now is no exception. He doesn't look at you when you stand up, nor does he follow you immediately when you enter the house. Right now you don't feel like reminding him who he is and who you are. It doesn´t matte anyways, you know there will be a lot of moments like these in the future.

Now next to the woman who sleeps safe and sound, you say goodbye in a whisper, wishing you could sleep like she does and then the image changes, suddenly Noriko's hair is brown like yours but a little shorter and straighter, and her fingers intertwined over her bulging belly look longer. The image is so eerily clear that you feel like an intruder, alien to her like you always did, like at any moment she´d open her eyes and instead of a light blue, you´d see a dark amethyst. You don't even want to breathe, you know that powdery and oriental notes will reach your nostrils, causing you dizziness.

Haruki's cautious steps stop behind you, saving you from your torment again. What do you need for everything to end once and for all? You know the answers, is there in heart, mind and soul but you don´t want to talk about it.

Yet.

You stifle a sigh, turning just a bit to look at him. “I won´t bite, you coward”

Satisfied with how he tries to camouflage his annoyance you look back at Noriko. This time is her silver-blond hair spread in the pillow and no powdery scents in the air.

"I don't know for how long... but it will be soon, for your pleasure and grace, we will not see each other again" Unconsciously or maybe not, your hands come together, your fingers starting to play with your rings, still looking at Noriko's belly.

Haruki does the same.

“What´s going on?”

You're cautious since Noriko might wake up, but even so the severity in your whisper doesn't go unnoticed. "It's not Satoru you should worry about. Nothing has been heard from the moles, do you understand? They won't have compassion on them, just like they won't have compassion on you."

Haruki knows very well what you mean by “them”. He clenches his fists, feeling helpless against the chill that runs through his body, helpless for feeling afraid. If he were a sorcerer, he wouldn't feel so afraid. If he were a sorcerer…

Your cousin silently admires your profile, his eyes hiding a bitter gleam behind his bangs black as the night. Your chin facing forward, neither low nor too high without taking your eyes off Noriko, there is no bitter shine like his in yours, everything in a straight line, your poise and your chaos.

Privileged.

Like a thousand needles sticking into his throat and tongue, he responds, clenching his fists even more.

“I understand”

You take your coat from the hanger, feeling it heavier than usual. "If anything else happens you'll be one of the first to know.”

You want to promise but your words have no value for a person like him but then, something strange happens. For a change, the feeling is familiar...uncomfortably familiar. He walks towards you and takes your hand, giving you a squeeze to reassure. "Whatever your decision…” He makes a pause that seems to be killing him, and it's killing you too when you start to feel the powdery notes again. "I have no choice but to listen to you, for our safety, I know"

His voice was heard with a sympathetic resignation, knowing perfectly well that lately it wasn't exactly the act of obeying that he didn't like, but rather who.

You don´t squeeze his hand back, which is a bit cold from having been on the terrace. It’s just there almost inert trapped between his fingers.

But you assure him back.

"No choice but listen to me… for your safety."

The edge of your words is soft and sharp at the same time, if Haruki makes a wrong step on them, he can cut himself. A reproach that he understands, he always understood it but… that bitter gleam in his eyes will never go away.

You want to believe it will, you really do.

Gently your hand slips from his grasp, leaving his hand empty just as he is turning inside.

ʚ♡ɞ

Marriott Miyako Hotel, Osaka
4:30p.m

Satoru has his eyes wide open, so much that the air circulating stings them.

The flutter of his silver eyelashes when he blinks several times makes Yaga chuckle. "You weren't expecting it, were you?"

Poor… poor Satoru Gojo.

Quickly digesting his surprise, Satoru gives free rein to his personality. "Well, everything makes sense now, I had thought for a second that you were a dirty unfaithful old man" Sitting with his legs wide open on the couch, he waves the vanilla addictive smelling cashmere gloves at his former teacher.

"Disrespectful brat! Pay attention now!" In a fast move, Yaga snatches them off at once and hits him over the head with them. “This is important, don't start now.”

Satoru rubs his head before blindfold himself. “Alright, alright”

The Principal controls his grunting, watching as his former student finishes covering his eyes. Sighing, he runs a hand over his chin before taking off his shades because unlike the man in front of him, he´s not afraid to show the expression in his eyes but he understands if Satoru feels ashamed of himself. He feels that way about himself too, but still he smile with a bit of mockery.

Yaga can see through this calm as a lake in the morning façade. Leaning forward in the comfortable chair with his fingers intertwined and his elbows resting on his knees, like he does when he´s concentrate, but he knows very well that behind that there´s an overflow.

“We know that she was at school that night for a reason that only concerns Tengen but…” The Principal growls again in exasperation, this time running his hand all over his face, closing his eyes for a few seconds before staring at Satoru, where he knows that he is staring intently back at him. "Satoru, what I will say now must not leave these four walls, do you understand?”

Yaga gets up from his seat and walks towards his carry-on suitcase. From there the man takes out a thin folder, looking with misgiving at the other one that in comparison is much thicker and looks old, battered.

He hesitates and finally decides he shouldn't do it. After all, it's none of Satoru's business, and although he knows that the six-eyes would be able to help you, Yaga doesn't have your permission to talk about your affairs, which as far as he knows, is just a theory.

"Here" Yaga extends the folder to a now serious Satoru. "He´s the detective in charge of the investigation of the murders at the school, he must not see Airi at any time, Satoru. Under no circumstances"

“Why not?”

The gesture the Principal makes makes it clear to him that he should not insist, but his curiosity increases with what he hears next.

"If he sees her... Satoru, she will be in trouble, served on a silver platter to those scavengers, that's all you need to know.”

"What if she doesn't want to come with us?"

"That's where we count 20% on me and... 80% on you"

An almost mischievous smile suddenly lights up Satoru´s face and Yaga frowns with concern and disapproval. "Don't get so excited, there's something else you should know."

"Refusing... implies that, consequently, she´ll be hunted.”

“S he´ll be in the middle and one side will pull and the other will pull harder until she´s torn to pieces."

Is it in these situations that people feel they need a stiff liquor? Nanami does it, right?

“He´ll be there…”

Sitting alone in a corner of the hotel cafe is the six-eyes with a cup of sweet tea on the table, still with the bump on his head, throbbing every time he blinks.

"We'll go together, I don't think it's a good idea for you to show up alone if she ran away as soon as she saw you" Yaga crosses his arms after putting on his shades again.

"I'm ahead of myself!” The leader of the Gojo clan takes out a neat envelope from his jacket, extending it to the Principal. “ Look- ouch! What was that!?"

"I told you that you shouldn't do anything I didn't ask you to do!"

Pouting, he takes a sip of his tea and then complains internally. "So much drama for getting the work done a little earlier”

Reluctantly, Satoru places his teacup on the saucer making the spoon almost flying away, so hard that he thought the porcelain would break, but it didn´t.

Although he doesn't care at all, he begins to turn the empty cup in his hand looking for some crack but all he saw was a slight reddish stain where his lips drank its sweet content, which disappeared when he blinked. His thumb runs over the ghost stain imagining the slightly sticky texture, and he admits he's anxious.

“He´ll be there…”

Anxious and…

His fingers begin to tap on the table, thoughtful.

Concerned.

Satoru hasn't reviewed the folder yet, preferring to leave it for the night because he knows he won't be able to sleep. But it's not because of that particular folder that he won't be able to, so he picks up his phone and dials a specific number admitting to himself that he has many defects.

He´s aware of that.

One of them is being disobedient.

The phone does not even ring twice when the person on the other end of the line answers.

"Gojo, it´s nice to hear you"

“I bet so” He leaves the cup, without doubting even the slightest bit about what he is about to do, even though he can imagine Yaga's anger, and yours. “I need you to do something for me, but you have to be quick, and very careful…”

"That will cost you extra..."

Late spring, 2006 Tokyo.

“Shokooooooo!”

Summer was almost around the corner.

You've tried to cope with the heat the best you can by wearing high updos leaving your neck exposed but it seems not to be enough.

Unbuttoning the collar of your jacket, you finish climbing the rubble after Shoko, listening to Utahime's scream.

“Shoko! Don´t let yourself turn out like those two!”

You hold back your chuckle as you see the boys' expressions at what she had just said. Your lips curling slightly downwards in a way that one of the boys found charming while the other kept mocking the girl. Then, it has transformed into a wide smile when Shoko agrees with her, laughing.

“I´m not trash like they are, and I never will be, right Airi?”

Utahime squeals with joy again looking at you over Shoko´s shoulder, her eyes shining with the tears that she so insisted weren't there.
Releasing the girl with the cigarette, she runs towards you taking your hands in hers in a tight grip. “Airi you´re here too!”

"Of course, we were already missing you"

You and Shoko exchange glances, smiling in the same way at Utahime's expression, which went from excitement to confusion, ignoring Satoru's stupidities.

“The path Utahime walked is falling apart!”

“Shut up!”

Without letting go of Utahime's hands, you turn following Suguru´s voice, who was already next to Satoru.

L ike most days, you were in the library eating a book nonstop with your eyes when Shoko appeared behind you trying to scare you, but you can even recognize how the door sounds when it is opened by her.

Your friend told you that she and the boys were sent to look for Utahime who had to return from her mission two days ago. Your face remaining between two emotions when she also told you that Mei Mei was with her.

It would not be the first time you have her in front of you. Once she complimented your pleated maxi skirt saying how fierce that slit on the leg was, although you never had an official introduction. She simply knew your name and you knew hers, along with the records of all the missions she has taken since the year began, a long list comparing it to yours.

That fact makes you shift uncomfortably in your chair, leaving the book on the table. The annoyance begins to boil in your head again because "For now" as Yaga-Sensei said, you are not allowed to go on many missions, much less try to face special grade curses. You understood well why, but even if your reasons were superficial, you no longer wanted to be locked in Yaga's office 24/7, you wanted to go there and know how far you can go, just like Suguru and Satoru, go out there and...

Earn more money.

But it´s not having five people getting rich every day standing together in front of you why you didn't feel very comfortable accepting Shoko's invitation.

It´s her.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice her approaching, and m aybe you´re overthinking, maybe you´re seeing things where there´re none and it's not what you imagine every time you run into her, especially when Satoru's with you. Because the truth is, it wouldn't make sense to you because well, she is...

Magnificent?

The first time you saw her your jaw seemed to loosen, she was everything you would have ever wanted to be.

Beautiful, strong and shameless.

Shamelessly rich.

Shamelessly free.

But with time… with time run into her was really uncomfortable. Somehow you feel like she could see right through you, like she knew all your secrets, making you feel totally exposed and ridiculed by them.

And suddenly… your chest hurts, just a little bit. Your brain thinks now is the best time to overanalyze that idea and you can´t help it.

Is it ridiculous? You and Satoru...?

Then your chest hurts more because, was there even a Satoru and you?

Official, definitive? The hypnotic dance of her hips when walking and the flowy sleek fabric of her pants moving elegantly with every step her pretty shoes take don't let you think any longer about it, or how you could start convincing Yaga-Sensei to make some kind of plan so you can take more missions or notice how Suguru doesn't take his eyes off you, because for a while now, something is different every time you look at her, when she looks at you.

You feel it in your bones.

If there was a way to describe her, you would do it by comparing her to the Mona Lisa. When she looked at you, you didn't know exactly if she was smiling with her lips or with those eyes that, although they were purple like yours, hers always shine with a certain haughtiness that she seemed to hide quite well but that at the same time was what stood out the most, making them darker.

Was she smiling at all? You can´t be sure, the only thing you know besides that, is that if you look at her longer, you can even feel she sees you with pity, even for a brief second. So subtle, so, so subtle that it is aggressive, and it's familiar... the feeling is so familiar that it doesn't make you want to look at her for even a brief second either.

“Two days?” Utahime asks.

"The barrier of that curse also altered time, they´re rare but sometimes they appear, it seemed strange to me that you didn't manage to come out if Mei Mei was there"

Like a thorn pricking a nerve, you feel the pain running down your side until it reaches near your chest.

He recognizes her as someone strong...

"Is it?” Mei Mei gets closer, too close for your liking that you can breathe the notes of incense, praline and ripe fruits of her scent. “Huh?”

Refusing to let go of Utahime's hands, you try to act as natural as possible when she rests her blankly expressive eyes on you, placing one of her hands under her chin thoughtfully, as if looking at you had reminded her of something important.

"Is something wrong?" Suddenly Satoru also approaches, and you have never wanted to have him away from you so much as now because his expensive perfume mixing with hers and yours causes you to feel very dizzy. A bad combination, but a thousand times you prefer this dizziness to her continuing to look at you because now you understand that in truth, you weren´t so crazy.

Painfully slowly she closes her eyes, hiding those pair of grapes that shine with dark mischief and it only toke you a zeptosecond to see how they move slightly to look at you up and down and then at Satoru with that smile that is not a smile.

"No, but this means I was employed for two calendar days, I just remember that I have to add it to the bill"

"Are you planning to charge them even more?"

Utahime's innocent question hits this delicate spot inside you which has been frustrating you lately, making the situation worse when she lets go of your hands, leaving you like on the edge of a ravine. And you no longer know where to look, trying to control the impulse to start playing with your fingers to appease the anxiety.

Finally, you decide to look at Shoko who suddenly feels that something is missing above her head.

Above everyone's head.

Oh no…

If you were thinking about insisting Yaga-Sensei to create some little lie so that you could go on missions, now you could only dream about it.

"By the way... and the curtain?"

ʚ♡ɞ

Olibanum incense and ripe fruits…

You turn towards the lamppost following the flutter.

As soon as your eyes land on the crow, it begins its flight trying to blend with the darkness but fells on the cold pavement, convulsing.

You close your eyes tiredly. Trying to ease the anger you slowly approach the bird that lies dead with its wings wide open and crouch down to take a feather from its body before the black flames begin to consume it. Getting lost in the blackness of its color you think about how to get Satoru off of you but there it is again. You quickly stand up when you hear another flutter moving away.

The crow already flying away from your reach.

“Sneaky little bitch…”

With no other option, you walk between the buildings reaching the busiest part of the district. As you go deeper, there´s a current that runs from the tip of your feet to the top of your head that lets you know you´re being watched so you stop and close your eyes, hiding by becoming one with the tall shadow of a building. Then, not very far, a girl screams with disgust.

"Ugh! What was that!?"

A small group of people surrounds the singed bird.

"Maybe it was electrocuted" says one of them looking at the cables of the lamppost.

But you follow his haze further, there in the black sky where about four crows fly as fast as they can. The wind direction is in their favor, but it wasn´t enough. The sudden and abrupt closing of the beast's jaw makes the only surviving bird fly desperately out of the reach of the scaly monster, passing through the clouds where it hopes to get lost.

For you, the warning was enough. And although you would have liked to follow that damn bird to get to its owner, you are satisfied.

Pulling the chains to change direction, you turn your head back to see the now tiny feathery dot getting further and further away, trying to get to the luxurious building almost two hours away by flight from Osaka, where she´s walking towards the large windows overlooking the city. Where the endless lights of every color you can imagine overshadow the stars and moonlight in the cold polluted sky.

Tokyo.

Her long hair falls loosely covering part of her Giocondal face as she finishes adjusting the white silk robe to cover her nudity, when behind her, a boy appears with an annoyed face, remembering the creep who gave him the heavy bags he´s carrying. His expression changing completely when he sees the satisfaction on his sister´s face.

Leaving the bag in front of the long armchair where she now sits, the boy lets her hand delicately caresses his blushing cheeks, tapping his chin with her index tenderly.

“Good job”

She takes a sip of the transparent bubbling liquid in her glass without taking her eyes off the bags at her feet, almost in a predatory way. Her eyes shining with pleasurable eagerness.

Smiling.  

Putting the glass aside, her hand with the impeccable wine manicure takes out a thick wad of bills from one of the bags removing the annoying elastic from it, and opens it as if it were a wide fan.

She begins to laugh, but it didn´t last long.

The boy looks with surprise at the crow that has just landed on the balcony and then with concern at his sister, whose countenance is now flat and cold as concrete. The heat and excitement from a few seconds ago, which was like a bonfire burning, went out as easily as blowing out a candle.

Could it be that who blew out the candle was what really bothered her?

With her jaw clenched, she admits yes.

Sighing, the sorceress relaxes. It's okay, it was something that could happen. Satoru warned her and she accepted. Cheering herself up by remembering the number of zeros on her cell phone screen this afternoon.

Furthermore, by accepting she was killing two birds with one stone.

“What a small world” She thought, looking back at the wad of bills in her hand with a fake pout and asks out loud. "What you've gotten yourself into, dear…dear, dear Aiko?”

Lies have short legs, and a buried truth brings out roots, roots that can reach dark places, as dark as these. Not this abandoned place that receives the same colorful lights of the city with less intensity, under the same moonlight and stars, under the same cold and polluted sky.

But inside him.

Trembling, he runs his thumb over the engraved name on the medallion and with raspy voice he whispers something, mantra camouflaged with the fluttering of pigeons on top of the neglected roof.

"I´m almost there, I´m almost there..." Clenching his fists, he tries to continue but it's like he's in pain, his whole body hurts. “I´m… there… I´M ALMOST THERE GODDAMMIT!”

The pigeons fly away, becoming a nonexistent silhouette through the poor lights and buildings, leaving him alone along with the fading echo of their cooing and its fluttering wings, getting further and further away like his sanity.

Staggering, he reaches the nearest wall, barely being able to hold on to it, and falls on his side.

He stays there, hating these little moments of lucidity that come quickly and go slowly. Making him want to call his father, making him want to stop, somehow his unconscious trying to drain all this evil but when he remembers her, when he sees them, it all comes at once. Everything returns like a snake fitting its fangs, filling his being with poison again, thus leaving his mind and soul renewed to continue, to continue with these other moments of dark lucidity where he knows what he is doing, that he enjoys it.

But right now it´s not happening.

Now he´s suffering, but he holds on to the one of the few truths he knows.

“It´ll be over soon…”

ʚ♡ɞ

The music is very loud and so are the voices around you.

It's diffuse.

Suddenly, the shouts of encouragement become louder, so you try to cover your ears but maybe you should have covered your eyes instead.

Is it real? Something burst in your chest when you see them, they´re so close that you don´t know whose hair is whose.

They are kissing.

They… not you and him, as if there was no one around them, completely disconnected from the world. For a second, even your lips try to move imagining his lips on yours, without being able to take your eyes off the scene as if the pain were hypnotic. S wallowing hard, throat dry, like someone in front of a spring from which you are not allowed to drink.

E verything spins so you close your eyes, crying. And when you open them again everything is blue...

It's a clear ocean but your body continues to weigh you down until you sink. The hot tears running down your red cheeks can be felt even under the water.

Heartbroken you wonder as you continue to sink, deeper and deeper until the water becomes darker, if he can see so many thing with those eyes… How is it possible that he cannot see how torn your heart is?

Suddenly you can´t breathe and you try to swim, but the more you try, the more you sink.

And nothing is clear blue anymore.

It´s all black.

You gasp when you knees touch the ground, your hands supporting your weight, feeling our legs completely numb. You look ahead, feeling the cold wind against your back, the gray and black tones are depressing and gloomy, watching the low waves advance and then retreat.

A beach.

You try to stand up but something prevents you, it feels slimy and cold, yet you dare to look. Little yellow and white things float out and stick to your skin while the water recedes, showing you your prison, and you frown.

Petals?

L ike a weak butterfly you crawl out of the black plastic cocoon you were trapped in, when a strong wave hits your back, knocking you down completely. You try again with the same result and your panic increases when out of nowhere, you start to retreat along with the cold water. But it´s not the immense wave that forms in the distance threatening to crash over your fragile body, but the multiple hands holding your legs.

Black as the sky, and rotten as a corpse, they try to dig their fingers into your skin, dragging you into the sea. Your fingers leaving a path of desperation and panic in the sand before the giant wave swallowed you.

This time, the wave does not recede.

Your ears hurt just like your bones, and the void is… infinite. You are floating in nothingness itself.

No sound, no color.

A purgatory.

But some relief comes in all this stress. Suddenly you can move your legs, starting to swim although without orientation, completely lost while your lungs are about to force you to open your mouth to take something that does not exist where you are, signing your sentence of drowning until a faint light shows you the way towards the surface.

The closer you get the water starts to feel like jelly, or maybe it's your muscles that are sabotaging you?

You are already close.

Please…

Please...

In your agony, someone listens to your prayers.

An arm dives, extending its hands trying to reach your arm that stretches as far as it can. The light color of the skin radiating the heat that you so fervently want to feel…

And you manage to take his hand.

Your eyes burn but you cling to him, locking your arms around his neck in fear of sinking again but he holds you tight, erasing your fears. You inhale deeply, missing the oxygen in your lungs, enjoying the oriental notes on his skin and nothing could be more perfect.

The waves become calm, seagulls fly in the sky, t he water begins to feel warmer and even the sun begins to rise through the gray clouds, turning white.

Your cheek now rests on his shoulder, totally spent feeling his hand caress your head, rocking you, spinning in circles gently and slowly on the crystal clear water. Your feet floating without bothering to try to stand. Was there earth under your feet? It didn't matter but something hot runs over your temple, reaching your cheek.

Clinging to the strong shoulders of your savior, you separate slightly with a bundle of emotion in your stomach, butterflies that have not flown in there for years come back to life. From the corner of your eye you see the black of his hair, the light color of his skin on his collarbone, the marked line of his jaw, the slight curve of his smile on his lips and…

Your eyes go up and down many times admiring with horror the red that comes down from his forehead bathing his entire face.

"Suguru?"

November 18, Osaka
7:58pm

Miruku jumps on your lap startling you.

Your chest rises and falls to the rhythm of your rapid breathing.

“That dream again...” Although it started and ended quite differently this time, it always has the same development.

Your fingers gently run over your temple, leaving them there for a moment before looking at them. The temperature, the metallic smell, everything felt so vivid.

And him…

The texture of his hair, its color, his smell, the butterflies.

It came so fast and so real, so was the fear. A nightmare that turned into a dream, only to become a nightmare again. Although remembering the image gave you chills, you would have liked to investigate more about its possible meanings, you hadn't dreamed about him in a long time but you took your phone and saw the time.

“Shit”

You jump off the couch and run to the shower, still dazed with the repetitive dream you had just had.

You´re sooooo fucking late.

While you lather your scalp, surprise Miruku who has followed you to the bathroom, chewing the belt of the long, warm and expensive cardigan that helped you fall asleep when you shouldn't have.

“Behave, you little gremlin” The bunny doesn't pay attention, so you end up splashing some water, achieving your goal. "That's right, run away you spoiled coward"

You take your time, to erase your dreamlike doubts from your head. Although today's event wasn't exactly right for you to be fashionably late. It was a beneficial event mainly between pharmaceutical companies. For the benefit of what or who exactly? You had no idea.

What mattered is who would be there.

Ignaty Vasiliev, for example. A 38-year-old businessman with a reputation for “having a certain taste for the occult" and not exactly demonology books or tarot cards.

A possible great ally, so you hope everything goes well tonight.

Surprisingly, the snake´s nest have not yet put their full claws in Russia, so it´s a loose card that you are going to take for your deck, thicker and thicker every year.

“We´re almost there…”

Wrapping your body in a towel you leave the bathroom to send a message before starting to get ready, which took to about two hours.

You just need to get dressed.

In your underwear and with your hair done, you walk to the closet putting some metallic gold sandals and take the white Zuhair Murad box to carry it to the bed, when on the way out, you stop suddenly.

“Come closer…”

Even the high Jimmy Choo´s on your feet could have given you more stability than looking back, but you couldn´t help it.

Out of the corner of your eye, you look at the blue box on the shelf and you feel a little pathetic to tell the truth. It is certain that they don´t lose sleep thinking about these things like you do.

Sometimes…

Well, maybe more often these last few days.

But how could it not be like that? With Mei Mei´s poor espionage and after your "meeting” with Satoru, he hasn't shown up again and that's got you on edge. All these last events have been kicking you in the head, causing more things to resurface, taking away your peace.

"Come closer"

The click of the Polaroid and her voice pricks your ears.

“Will I see her again?” You ask yourself unwittingly, finishing zipping the dress in front of the mirror.

Shaking your head you go get your clutch and put everything you need, taking one last look at the stupid box in the closet before leaving, thinking his is not the encouragement you need. So you stop by the bookshelf, your eyes fixed on the old and dull dark green book that stands out among the many new ones.

You take it carefully, admiring the blonde girl in the red coat on the cover.

Frances Hodgson Burnett.

“The Secret Garden”

First edition, 1911

Your father used to read this book to you when you were little (when you weren´t able to sleep with the lights off) until you fell asleep, safe and sound.

When you open it, the almost brown pages give you a smell of complete antiquity. You flip through a few pages ignoring the illustrations until you reach almost the last pages, where a photograph lies.

Two adults and a baby girl.

Behind it, there is a quote of the book with your father fist writing.

“ If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a  garden”

Running your fingers over the letters, you´re mind read the quote with his voice, taking a deep breath because you don't want to ruin your makeup.

You don't keep this photo because it's a nice memory. After all, she is in the photo as well.

Besides, you don't remember anything about that day because you were only 3 years old. The chubby-cheeked baby girl smiles sitting on her father's lap, looking back at you, as does the serious woman next to them. Their bright purple eyes and rich chocolate brown hair are the same, being this man with hair as dark as the night and dark blue eyes the only one who seems like a stranger among them.

Many times you wondered why your dad decided to leave you this photo, if the fact that you were in his arms was on purpose, as if somehow he knew what was coming. But you can't cut it, like countless times you wanted to do, because that would mean getting rid of half of his writing.

And you didn't want that.

Although in the end it wouldn't matter.

The fact that… even if you cut it, you won't be able to forget that she was there posing next to him. 

Pretending…

It makes you sick to see her next to him. It breaks your heart…

She ruins it...

Holding the book under your arm, your fingers take the photo from both sides menacingly. Your jaw clenches, your lips curving downward defiantly, with anger and contempt. Maybe you might regret it later, but you know it would feel good now.

The sound of paper tearing is camouflaged by the knocking on the door, making you gasp.

Quickly, you remember how to breathe and pick up the book that has fallen to the ground, putting back the photo that has been left half torn. You look at it one last time, restlessness before closing the book, which you leave poorly arranged on the bookshelf.

Grabbing your clutch, you head to the door thinking that maybe you'll regret it, or maybe you'll feel more inclined to finish and tear the photo in half in the future.

Who knows?

Marriott Miyako Hotel
8:48p.m

The exquisite jazz orchestra draws applause.

The joy of the crowd is heard with less intensity in this part of the huge event hall, hiding from all the fancy lighting. Holding on to your clutch as if it were the only thing giving you oxygen.

"He's coming, doll."

Renji's voice echoes terribly, suddenly wanting some champagne.

You look at the time on the stunning antique clock on one of the walls a bit far from you, feeling like fucking Cinderella.

When Renji says "It will take me 30 minutes" you believe him, because the 99,9% of the times it would not be 29 or 31 minutes, it would be 30. But now, 40 minutes have already passed.

At this rate you´ll leave this place with a tremendous headache, and for that same reason you want to go out to the terrace to get some air but you can't. Not when Renji already told you that, you don't know why (You neither want to know nor imagine) he would be here.

Looking out of the corner of your eye, you see people coming and going but still no sign of him, just a man a bit taller than you that approaches, offering you his arm. The long scar crossing his eyebrow and right eyelid gives him a nice touch next to his dark suit.

“Airi-Sama”

“Kaen” Without hesitation you hook to his arm, trying to ease the adrenaline when he leads you near the jazz orchestra.

You have changed in many things since you left Tokyo, but this is a part of yourself that you don't know yet. Not completely. What is Airi of the present like when she feels really afraid, about to face something she can't control? Someone she may not be able to control?  

"How's Renji doing? Why is he taking so long?"

Kaen sighs. "It seems that our prey turned out to be a little difficult to coax."

You snort, playing with the burgundy silk chiffon skirt of your dress when finally, someone passes by offering champagne but you don't enjoy the liquid that barely manages to pass down your throat. It´s not necessary to look.

Kaen notices it too.

"Is he alone?"

"No" He answers close to your ear while you take a carefree sip from your glass pretending to pay attention to the orchestra, feeling his blue eyes already fixed on you. "He's with a man... maybe in his fifti-."

You see the members of the orchestra moving their instruments, one with his puffed cheeks playing a trumpet but you don't hear the sound coming out. Your eardrums ringing, dazed like an explosion survivor.

"I had changed my mind, but if this continues I will not allow you to attend any more missions, am I clear?"

Yaga-Sensei…

“Airi-Sama?” Kaen puts his hand on your shoulder. "Renji is in the VIP area"

Like a knot that has been put under pressure, it finally comes loose. Calmly, but taking long strides, you head there. And Satoru's face is quite a picture now. That burgundy dress is nothing like the soft pink one he has in his closet.

Very different, exquisitely different but… oh?

Before turning a corner, his eyes collide with yours and if ice had color, it would be amethyst. There goes the one who he thought was a bunny lover but who secretly eats them alive, the one who instead of putting cinnamon in the cinnamon rolls, puts gun powder in it. The aura around you left him with a stupid goofy smile instead of scaring him away despite all the warning signs.

But he decides not to follow you, for now. This time, he prefers to follow the orders of the man next to him.

Very serious and severe that you decided to ignore.

ʚ♡ɞ

“Я хочу сначала встретиться с ней.”
(“I want to meet her first”)

Both sorcerer are sitting in front of each other.

He looking at the one whose eyes shine with mischief after making his request while the music is a soft murmur inside these walls that enclose them. The men accompanying the Russian sorcerer, with light brown hair and eyes as gray as metal, keep their distance just like yours, making sure they have some privacy. And Renji's chivalry appreciates this, trying to control the curve on his lips when he sees the reaction of the tall woman sitting next to Vasiliev, whom he introduced as his wife.

The blonde woman could be the human representation of a mountain lion, with alluring presence and cautious fierceness that reminded him a looooot of his boss.
She leaves her champagne on the glass table looking not so cautiously fierce anymore, obviously uncomfortable and upset. But Renji can't waste any more time, nor give preference to the lady's comfort with the things he may say, although the beautiful woman was to his liking.

“Я не могу обещать, что смогу убедить ее, она довольно неуловима, понимаешь?”
("I can't promise that I can convince her, she's pretty elusive, you know?")

“Очень красиво, как мне сказали”
(“Quite beautiful, they told me")

Now it's him who doesn't sympathize with Vasiliev's comment.

This is not going to turn out as you expected. Many wars have started and ended badly over beautiful women and he hoped he could prevent that from happening here.

“Да... очень красиво”
(Yeah, very beautiful)

Apparently, it's almost out of his hands.

Vasiliev and his wife look behind Renji, their eyes fixed on the person approaching. His with obvious shamelessness that with little success he tries to hide and hers with suspicion, lifting her chin with haughtiness, internally disapproving of your fierce walk that has her husband idiotically stunned.

Renji smiles.

He loves mountain lions, and now god has given him the pleasure of having two in front of him tonight. The Zenin bastard takes a sip of his liquor before turning around and wink at you. Raising his glass to Vasiliev to congratulate him.

“Кажется, ночь на вашей стороне, господин Васильев.”
(“It seems that the night is on your side, Mr. Vasiliev.”)

“Блаженны наши глаза”
("Blessed are our eyes")

The sarcasm in her voice is volatile like the gourmand fragrance she´s wearing. Sharpening her gaze towards her husband she settles more comfortably on the couch crossing her legs, seemingly with no intention of getting up as you make your way between Vasiliev's men and yours.

“I´ve been looking for you”

“My love, what a terrible mate I am” Renji welcomes you, standing to extend his hand towards you. "Mr. Vasiliev, Mrs. Vassilieva, this is my fiancée, Airi Mizuki."

After receiving his kiss on your temple, as he guides you to the couple, Renji makes sure that Mr. Vasiliev sees the ring on your finger. A beautiful round brilliant cut diamond flanked by tapered baguettes on a platinum band. The sparkling piece is overanalyzed by the blonde's critical eye,
admitting that you not only have good taste in men, unlike her.

She lowers her chin, tilting her head to admire her carmine manicure, totally ready to show how little interest she is in the soft sound that the insensitive man she chose as a partner makes when kissing your hand.  But bites her lip when she hears you speak in her native language.

Is she surprised for it? Of course not.

It turns out that her jealousy is nothing more than a cultural thing, or at least that's what she wants to think. With her beauty and in such a small town, it was not difficult to get out of there, but she was still in Russia so marrying a man who wasn't a violent drunk was the main goal, get it almost a miracle and she achieved it. With a great extra which all her teenage friends would have wanted to take away from her. Travel, luxurious cars, restaurants, endless shopping. All she could ever wanted but... it wasn't until a moment ago, upon seeing this handsome Japanese man's face when her husband asked to meet his fiancée, calling her beautiful that she wondered... if she could ask for something more than a husband without drinking problems.

Ignaty was not a violent man, neither emotionally nor physically, but he was a distant man. The only thing that could make his eyes shine besides business was going to sleep every night knowing that he could achieve anything he wants, like trying to get you into his bed. She didn't care, she didn't love him and she knew that word didn't describe what he felt for her.

But she did care about her status, and her honor.

“Это моя жена Полина Васильева… Моя любовь, пожалуйста, встаньте”
“This is my wife, Polina Vassilieva… My love, please stand up”

With a rude sigh, the Russian takes the hand that her husband extends, helping her stand up, when she looks up… coming across the most beautiful and rare purple she has ever seen. And fuck those eyelashes if they were real.

Hiding her amusement very well, she finishes standing on her long legs without stopping to see your face, feeling everything in slow motion.

It was beauty without pride but overflowing pride in those precious stones.

"The color of royalty" she thought.

And you do it justice.

It was the way to looked at her, something in your look. Soft as velvet, although without seeing you threatening, something annoying inside someone as proud as she herself told her that she should be careful and at the same time made her feel comfortable, more comfortable than being with her own husband.

She admits that you are captivating.

Captivatingly annoying.

“Приятно познакомиться, Полина”
(“Enchanted to meet you, Polina”)

Polina's cheekbones rise like yours, although her smile is wider than yours.

No Mrs. Polina, No Mrs. Vassilieva.

Polina.

Finding your daring irresistible is something she shares with Ignaty. Your sass appears to be more elegant than hers but may be complementary with her own and if her husband wasn't ogling you, she would open herself to the possibility of making a friend in Japan.

“Как и должно быть, мисс Айри”
(“As it should be, Miss Airi.”)

Polina doesn't extend her hand to greet you, and that's okay because you didn't either.

Ignaty's baritone laugh tries to appease what he thinks was rude from his wife, but when he sees the shine on your eyes he knows that everything seems fine, because you're still smiling.
He still wants to say something but you interrupt, making way for the new opportunity in front of you. Flattering a woman like Polina won't do any good, especially when her thirsty husband is being too kind but you must do something.

“Не волнуйтесь, господин Васильев… Человек должен соответствовать тому, кто он есть”
(Don´t worry, Mr. Vasiliev… one must live up to who they are”)

"Я согласен"
(“I agree”)

Running his gray eyes all over you up and down, he invites you to sit. Polina drinking her champagne as soon as her butt touches the couch as you control the rolling of your eyes.

Renji laughing inwardly at this poor thirsty man.

After maybe 20 minutes, where Renji expected to talk business again, the conversation returned to the same topic again and again.

Your engagement.

It has already become clear that it will not be possible to work with him. Someone who is going to be competing with Renji will be too much trouble and having to sweeten his ear to keep him under control is not your style.

But…

"Полина"
(Polina)

Leaving your half-empty glass on the table, you interrupt Ignaty again, who already bored you. Not before glancing at Renji who already read your mind.

“Хотите присоединиться ко мне, чтобы подышать свежим воздухом, может быть, вы тоже поделитесь женской мудростью для брака?”
(“Would you like to join me for some fresh air? Perhaps you can also share with me some feminine wisdom regarding marriage.")

Polina's face was comical.

Stunned.

You don't give her space to a refusal because you are already standing in front of her, making it almost inevitable that she won't make the mistake of looking you in the eyes. Her mouth twisted, about to say no, but it was no longer jazz that she heard, but a sing that did not stop in her ears.

Luring her.

It was white, then a soft pink, and finally… a deep purple, threatening to turn a dark red. It was as if the softest silk caressed her and she wanted to grab it, before she was hit by what her brain unconsciously warned her would burn her.

“Do as you wish”

She hears you whisper something in Japanese when you both leave the VIP area. Your companion responding to you in the same language.

She also manages to hear her husband say something but it is quite faded, as if she is falling asleep, or as if she is just waking up, with a sweet aroma that feels like falling on soft feathers filled her nostrils.

“Po…”

She knows where to go but at the same time she doesn't. She trusts the firm steps she takes but at the same time it is as if she were floating.

“P…lina”

Has she ever felt anything similar? Maybe... when she played on the seesaw with her classmates in kindergarten. A tingling rising up her stomach, making her laugh. She can feel the muscles in her face move, and then, her steps stop.

Suddenly feeling cold.

“Polina?”

Her eyelashes bat many times looking at the large pool in front of her, the Christmas lights twinkle on the terrace railing where her hands are firmly gripped while the cold wind caresses her dazed face.

Turning around, she sees you next to her. Your head slightly tilted with dangerous charm, like a little girl who had done some mischief.

Smiling innocently, you ask. “Шампанское было хорошим?”
 ("Was the champagne good?")

Polina begins to look around, confused. She had only had two drinks.

“Все в порядке, иногда твое тело может тебя предать”
("It's okay, sometimes your body can betray you.")

Polina lets go of the railing, confirming that she is not drunk, yet.

“Что мы здесь делаем?”
(“What are we doing here?”)

Sighing, you lean over the railing admiring the blue color of the pool.

“Кажется, у тебя немного закружилась голова, я подумал, может, ты хочешь немного прогуляться.”
(“You seem a little dizzy, I thought maybe you wanted to go for a little walk.”)

Polina snorts, crossing her arms with a bitter smile. She knows what you mean.

“Конечно... у тебя тоже немного кружится голова”
(“Of course… you look a little dizzy too.”)

With the most sincere look you can give, you respond to her.

“Правильно, я был”
(“That´s right, I was”)

“Он часто ведет себя как голодный человек, окруженный мясом”
("He often acts like a hungry man surrounded by meat.")

“Чего нам следует ожидать? Эволюция позволила им ходить только на двух ногах”
(“What can we expect? Evolution only allowed them to walk on two legs.”)

This time, Polina's smile is brighter, sincere.

Now you just hope to move the pieces on the board in the right way, and turn the game in your favor.

This is the ear you prefer to sweeten.

“Ну что, Полина? Вы обычно работаете со своим пещерным человеком в компаниях?”
(“So, Polina? Do you usually work with your caveman in his business?”

Her smile fades, frowning, having actually bought into the story that you wanted marital wisdom.

"Нет"
(“No”)

“Разве вам не хотелось бы это сделать?”
("And wouldn't you like to do it?")

Suddenly, she no longer knows what face to make. Looking at you like you've grown another head but then, the way you stop looking at her bothers her, as if your gaze fixed further on anything other than her were telling her that she was nothing. But what bothers her most is the fact that it wasn't even your intention to offend her.

“А что насчет тебя? Ты не похож на трофейного типа.”
(“What about you? You don´t seem like the trophy type”

“Я психолог, мы открыли множество центров психического здоровья по всей Японии”
("I am a psychologist, we have opened many mental health centers throughout Japan")

“How fun…” She thought sarcastically but… that question came to her mind again. Can she... ask for something else? To this life, to him? She never considered herself boring, despite having no ambitions other than to get to where she is, who she is with.

Who you are with…

Polina stares at you, suddenly frowing again.

“Ты что-то сказал?”
(“Did you said something?”)

"Нет"
(“No”)

Maybe she was getting dizzy for real.

Putting her hand on the railing, she runs the other through her straight long hair, hoping the cold air reaches her neck, when she looks at the ring on your finger, imagining what your marriage proposal was like. She imagines something intimate, perhaps in winter because that Japanese man couldn't wait for spring to arrive. Maybe in front of the fireplace among soft cushions, without fake applause from unknown people around.

Then she looks at her own.

A gorgeous slightly rounded square-cut diamond, surrounded by two rows of smaller stones on the platinum band. She removes it from her finger and tempted to throw it into the pool she ask.

“Чего он может ожидать от того, что он считает только мясом?”
(“What can he expect from what he considers only meat?”)

She gasps in surprise when you gently take her wrist, bringing her close to one of the lights, following your eyes to one of the walls where the large ring´s shadow is reflected next to the lights in red, green and blue.

“Что-то маленькое может отбрасывать большую тень.”
(“Something small can cast a large shadow”)

Who you are with…

Polina's eyes widen, stunned by your words, and the seemingly ownerless words she hears inside her head. About to start sweating when you take the ring to put it back on her finger.

“У вас есть инструменты в ваших руках, вам просто нужно их использовать, Полина”
(“You have the tools in your hands, you just have to use them, Polina”)

Polina looks at her hand thoughtfully as you turn to look at the pair of men leaving the VIP area, shaking hands.

“Bingo, good job Renji”

But you can't fully enjoy your triumph since Kaen approaches with hurried steps. And everything gets complicated again inside your head, reminding you who else is at this event.

“Good evening ladies”

“Kaen”

He leans in, and you can only stifle the sigh in your airways. Your heart begins to beat hard and fast, very, very hard and fast that you feel like you have to sit down, controlling the impulse to bring your hand to your chest.

“Мне пора идти, надеюсь однажды увидеть тебя снова”
("I must go now, I hope to see you again one day")

Stepping away from the railing, you begin to walk alongside Kaen when Polina's words stop you, sealing your checkmate.

“Было очень приятно, мисс Айри”
(“It was a pleasure, Miss Airi”)

Trying not to make your smile bigger, you look at the shine on her diamond matching that of her eyes, admiring the small spark that little by little will transform into a fire taking everything in its path.

“Как и должно быть”
(“As it should be”)

ʚ♡ɞ

“Oh come on”

“I said NO”

"I´ll go! You've cowed like her" 

Satoru was right, but that didn't stop Yaga from wanting to slap him. “We must wait, or do you perhaps want to carry out a massacre here?”

Good .

That seemed to calm him down, but it still... quite rare for him to be able to see a quick emotional reaction from his former student.

Since a long time ago.

Now… about you.

The few centimeters that your eyes needed to move so as not to see him were precisely calculated. Not only did you run away from Satoru, you were now avoiding Yaga.

You lying little spawn.

He doesn't even know how the hell to approach the situation when he confronts you. All he´s sure about is that he already wants to have you in front of him, to see if you´re really capable of daring to lie to his face. As if the lid of the coffee jar wasn´t enough to know that it was you, digging like a raccoon in his office at night.

You lying little raccoon.

But why wouldn't he know how to approach you? Confront you?  The answer seems to overflow like in a small glass of water, because Satoru was right. You had chickened out, but so had he.

Being told a lie is bad, sad... but hearing or discovering a truth is… devastating.

Will what he wants to hear come out of your mouth? Or will it be the same as with the one who now believes he can change the world? Satoru doesn't say anything, waiting for Yaga to finish giving himself courage. Understanding the fear of disappointment, disappointment with oneself.

There are many things that he ignored in the past, because he had it there in front of him, every day, believing that it was so much his that it couldn't change. Now he knows that it was like that for many people around him, including Yaga. He spent a lot of time with you, more than with himself.

Tonight, Yaga was about to find out if the path Suguru took didn't seem too dark for you not to follow.

And Satoru? Well… it´s bittersweet.

The only thing he can think about, is that the four of you are here tonight, only Shoko is missing. And he tries to entertain himself with the men's faces when they sees their wives looking at him, he tries... but he knows that the following nights, his reasons for not sleeping will be different.

“Airi-sama!”

Like a trained army dog, Yaga only needed a slight gesture to send Satoru into the crowd once and for all. Your scar companion tries to keep up with you, doing his best not to bump into people.

“It could be dangero- please wait! Airi-sama!?”

You pass by the jazz orchestra again. A fairly faithful version of "You brought a new kind of love to me" is playing and you think that, despite the terrible misunderstanding that could come out of all this, you think it's perfect.

If the nightingales could sing like you
They'd sing much sweeter than they do
For you brought a new kind of love to me

The event starts to heat up a bit.

You don't know where so many people suddenly came from, more and more people showing up but you keep moving among them, searching and searching. And for a second, just for a brief second you look back.

Since his height surpasses everyone present, It´s not very difficult to spot Satoru. You take those few seconds of him politely pushing his way through the ladies blocking his way to notice that you had never seen him in a hairstyle like that, all his silver locks perfectly combed back.

And if the sandman brought me dreams of you
I'd want to sleep my whole life through
Oh you brought a new love to me

Near some huge stairs of railings in gold and bronze, a little further away from the VIP area the number of people in the place is almost zero and is only illuminated by the small golden lights on the walls.

You can hear voices, just not a familiar one. The sudden boost of courage subsides a little, yet you still feel encouraged. But you can´t take the risk, so your body fades into the air being one with the shadow of the place.

I know that I'm the slave, you're the queen
Still you can understand that underneath it all
You're a maid and I am only a man

Nothing.

Kaen runs towards you as soon as he sees you taking shape again, frustrated that Renji is nowhere to be found. But thank the gods! Beyond the pool, before you recklessly approach the strange group of people in that secluded corner, Homura appears in front of you along with Renji ignoring your frown, hoping you understand that you´re not acting according the plan. The scarred man rushes to their side, blocking the view of those men who have already noticed something. And then, something explodes inside you, but instead of being like an atomic bomb that contaminates everything in its path as you many times came to believe that it would be like if you ever saw him again, it´s more like a colorful salt bomb in a bathtub full of soft and sweet foam.

On tiptoe, over Homura and Kaen's shoulders, you see him.

The black-haired man sits comfortably in one of the armchairs, resting his left cheek against his fist, watching with amusement the tantrum of the man standing in front of him.

“Come closer…”

Again, the feeling of Deja vu invades you. It is sweet as it is cold and terrifying. You can feel his arms hugging your waist tightly, keeping you afloat preventing you from drowning, spinning slowly in the surface so gently that makes you want to close your eyes to feel him better, but the feel of the warm sticky liquid running down your temple keeps your eyes open. And you don´t know if it was good or bad, but just like when you were fourteen, his gaze met yours, two colors mixing to form one.

Your lips parted, whispering his name.

Your chest full, in a gentle rhythm.

It’s him.

It's Suguru.

I would work and slave the whole day through
If I could hurry home to you
You brought a new kind of love to me

CRASH!

The few people around turn towards the scandal. Glass shatters against the floor as the thunderous scream of an older man is heard, freeing you from your trance. “But what and ugly Gojokesa he´s wearing.” You thought smiling mockingly.

Security approach, but those who accompany Suguru stop them. Kaen and Homura tense up when you ignore Renji, who tries to get you out of here. You cling to his arm which he takes you from, keeping him with you. “Just… wait”

Everyone looks at each other with doubt. Did they hear correctly? Renji smiles slyly, leaning close to your ear. "Doll...? In front of your own fiancé? Are you serious?"

It's a shame of yours, yes. But you couldn't help it.

You were no longer 26, but 16. If something remained of your broken heart, you could no longer feel pangs of pain. Not now at least.

His height manages to give you chills, his long hair makes you a silent and tempting invitation to remove the tie that holds part of it, so much so that you can feel the tickle of the tie on your fingers.

What are you doing?

Your subconscious slaps you awake, and the strange man's voice shouting angrily again. Suguru frowns, turning to look at him with contempt. And that's when you feel 26 again, with what's left of your broken heart, remembering with pain why it was that way. A deep, dangerous gleam in his eyes, shining with what he's about to do, standing up. The jazz song that plays does not reach your ears as you know it, the sound muffled like a singing stuffed animal whose battery is running out.

I'm hit that I'm the slave, you're the queen
Still you might understand that underneath it all
You're a maid and I am only a man

You gasp.

The blood sprays all over the floor when the man's head explodes.

It didn't take long for the screams to become present drawing the attention of the rest who approach with curiosity.

It was catastrophic.

The music stops and people began to push each other trying to run, desperately stepping over those who fell. You couldn't see if there was joy in his eyes because the strong grip on your waist guides you to the nearest wall, protecting you from the jostling.

Suddenly, it's like you've lived through this. People ran everywhere without stopping screaming. Some were screaming in pain, others were shouting names, perhaps looking for their companions. You blink several times when out of nowhere the warm light from the ceiling transforms into a flickering cold, white light. The ground begins to shake beneath your feet as a girl's scream, so heartbreaking that it chills your bones is heard, followed by a laugh that you could only describe as Machiavellian.

“Let go of her!” Kaen grabs Satoru's arm, removing it abruptly from your waist. The shock would have made you stagger if it hadn't been for Homura, who is now the one grabbing your waist to lift you up.

Dazed as you were when you blink and see that the light was warm again, the ground no longer shakes and there were no evil laughs, you just let yourself be done. But the moment you take a fleeting glance back, watching as Satoru enters the scene, the image of a crumpled paper appears in your head.

"Kill on sight"

Are they…are they going to…?

Satoru will…?

Suguru will…?

“Satoru!? Suguru! Wait!”  Your vocal cords take on a life of their own.

I would work and slave my whole life through
If I could hurry home to you
You brought a new kind of love to me

“Airi-sama we need to leave, now!” Once outside, Homura does his best to hold you back when you're like a restless puppy in someone's arms. Frowning when he sees Renji taking calm steps with your coat hanging from his arm, with a radiant smile on his stupid face.

"What? You can't handle her? Give her to m-"

All the lights inside turn off.

Everyone turns at the sudden calm, watching the small group of people who were safe inside leaving the event. Some whispering Gojo´s name but he doesn´t appear anywhere.

Neither does Suguru.

“Put me down”

Obeying, he lets your feet touch the ground, feeling your legs strange but able to support the weight of your body.

Kaen walks to your side, waiting for your orders. “Airi-Sama?”

No screams, no explosion, just calm.

Terrible calm.

“A bit longer”

Behind you, Renji puts your coat over your shoulders. You unconsciously cling to the lapel, trying to give yourself the support that not even those accompanying you can give you.

“Come closer…”

Taking a defensive stance, they position themselves in front of you when footsteps are heard approaching. They are slow, stealthy... as if they purposely wanted to torture you. You resist the urge to take a step forward, two, three or four until you enter again, but there at the entrance, which now seems like a cold and dark void, a silhouette emerges. Your heart pounding against your eardrums.

With his hands inside his sleeves, Suguru steps outside leaving red footprints behind him.

"Come closer"

His right cheek stained with blood makes you want to hide better behind your men. Not out of fear, not out of feeling confused.

It's just that you don't want to feel anything, you don't want to deal with any of this that you feel right now. But when you looked up again it was like an ambush, as soon as your eyes landed on some point his were there looking back at you. And there were so many things, so many that you don't even know what they are anymore.

His expression is serious, harsh over those men who deprive him of your whole presence. But it didn't matter now, because the eyes speak what the lips are silent.

"Come closer"

He enjoys the flutter of your eyelashes, the bright purple of your eyes following his as much as they can, looking for what you know you won't find before the guy with the scar blocks them from him.

Some trace of what he used to be.

But what he was looking for in your eyes he found.

He knows that you found the same, because that's how it was. That which he knows you won't want to admit, that won't let you sleep at night, that which he´ll be satisfied because at least like this, you´ll continue thinking about him.

He walks away, leaving you with many questions and many answers in your head, without knowing which answer belongs to which question.

“Aiko”

You close your eyes, exhaling the air trapped in your lungs slowly as you let your head fall back.

You had forgotten. You already lost your chance to escape, you denied it to Homura and Kaen many times. Now you must face him.

With a slight gesture, Renji, Homura and Kaen step aside.  

Revealed.

Yaga´s expression serious and so is yours.

It´s not like you were expecting a warm reunion.

“Airi” You correct him, and the passage of time became a mockery, just like when you went back to school after almost ten years. A vein pops on his forehead when he listens to you and it feels so nostalgic, but… he´s upset. And you´re upset that he is, because what was he expecting from you?

You look down a little exhausted, without knowing what to say exactly because he doesn´t say anything either. Resisting the urge to start playing with the ring on your finger, closing your hand into a fist to hide it when the strongest makes his appearance. His impeccable shirt with some blood stains and a few strands of hair falling down his forehead. In these few seconds, you notice how little and how much he has changed. Super tall, stockier. His features were no longer those of a young man.

You turn your gaze to Yaga again, ignoring Satoru. Ignoring the mockery of the passage of time, because everything feels like it would have happened yesterday. But despite everything and all the things you feel when you have him just a few steps away from you this time, you recognize the relief.

And he, for the first time in almost ten years, says hello.

“Hisashiburi… Airi”

You brought a new kind of love to me.

ʚ♡ɞ

“Come on!”

Finally, you decide to participate.

“Oh come on! Come closer” Shoko hugs you by the shoulders positioning you in the center next to her. Asking Satoru to take the photo because he has longer arms.

Both boys pose behind the two of you bending down a little. Suguru smiles and Satoru lowers his glasses to show his blue eyes and stick out his tongue.

It had been a nice day and that's why you smile too.

"Say cheese!"

The photo lies next to your gown on the carpeted floor of your closet.

The silver hairpin with the cherry flower is in your hands, holding it as if it were the most delicate and strange thing in the world.

“Oow just look at that, you do look like a princess”

You used to wear it all the time.

Unconsciously, your fingers go to your neck holding something invisible.

The medallion Suguru gave you for your birthday was always with you hidden under the collar of your uniform, loving the fact that only he knew it was there. You miss that, him. At least Suguru from back then, and that´s how you want to remember him.

Putting the hairpin back inside its pink box, you leave it next to the green velvet empty one, without being able to help but think that Suguru was like this little box, his soul being the medallion.

Lost.

"Are you sure you didn´t notice anything?”

“Where were you?"

Your hand grips the little box tightly, so much so that your hand trembles, wanting to throw it against the wall when you hear Shoko's voice.

You couldn’t help it, you couldn't help but feel that way because everyone made you feel that way.

Guilty.

You can hear the students in the hallways speculating, throwing glances at your back putting the blame on you when no one saw it coming, not even the one who “knew him the best”.

Sometimes you wonder if it was something you all could have avoid together. Maybe that day you could defuse that bomb and another day Shoko could do it and another day Satoru and so on...

Would it have worked?

The disgusting sound of the man's head exploding plus the blood that splattered everywhere makes you rub your legs.

It wouldn't have worked... right?

Nothing you would have wanted to plan back then would have worked.

"He has taken the boy of the ten shadows under his care"

That hot bubbly feeling almost got out of control between your ribs, but with that you knew that Megumi's life might not take so many twists and turns.

Like yours.

Then you turned around and continued on your own, until you got here.

Reluctantly, you put everything back in the blue box. The photo landing on the pink fabric along with an old cell phone that you´d stopped charging years ago. You can hear many voices, laughter, emotions… good and bad, getting louder and louder. All the noise stops suddenly when you close the box, pushing it away from you, falling on its side, but the silence is also devastating.

If you had known how things were going to be... would you have endure it? Would you have done things differently?

You bite your lip holding back a pout. Your eyes sting, clouded with tears threating to fall, dissatisfied with the answer. They say time heals everything, but time has proven to you that it’s not true.

You couldn't have endure it.

Having Satoru around, it was going to be an impossible task. You were just trying too hard to survive the day, it was taking you a lot of effort and he wasn't going to help, no matter how many apologies you could have imagined from his part.

But that doesn't free you from your mistake.

Y ou shouldn´t have left in the way you did.

Maybe now you would still be friends, but would you have been able to with Satoru in the middle? Maybe you would have started moving away anyway, little by little without them noticing.

Without her noticing.

"Bad boys leave nasty scars."

Walking to your bed you blink, and a tear fall down your cheek.

You see the crow´s feather on your nightstand. The black of its color looking malicious against your soft French manicure.

“The road would be longer than I imagined.” The feather disappears within a swirl of black flames, leaving your hand empty. But by rubbing your fingers, your eyes fall upon the gorgeous ring.

Your hand goes up to your face admiring the fine piece, taking you to other moments as well, condemning your sleep.

Will this also be a mistake that will cost you in the future?

End of June, 2006

The adrenaline and the truth was like a pressure cooker on your fragile body.

Hidden inside the garden of this beautiful house, the aroma of red camellias makes you dizzy. Among them, you see what seems to be the dining room through the large French style window.

There, two children of no more than 6 years old each one came running up to the table. The little boy was taller, dark brown hair like chocolate and eyes like…
When you see the smallest girl you close your eyes as if your own eyeballs were going to burn if you dare to look longer.

A couple followed behind them.

The men turns somewhere with a phone to his ear and the women at his side, with rich brown hair that reaches the middle of her back, with those beautiful eyes and that beautiful ring on her finger makes your soul rotten. A nd rotten as it is, you have no choice but to finally accept it.

Suddenly, your blood doesn't seem to be circulating. Your muscles cannot keep you upright, letting you fall to your knees.
In an attempt to stabilize yourself, you hold on to the flowers but those stems were just as fragile as you and the pain takes over your right hand, clinging to the torn petals, feeling you don´t belong anywhere.

You look around and the world around you feels immense, almost like when you look at the blue sky while lying on the grass, and now, you have the certainty that you are completely alone.

Chapter Text

Sienna – The Marias
Simple Motion – T.A.T.U
Don´t wanna be your girl – Wet
A perte de vue - Pomme
Never in the middle – Teflon Sega
Sick thoughts – Lou Bliss
Still Here – Digital Daggers
Darkness to light – CLANN
Arsonist´s Lullaby – Hozier
Into the fire – Thirteen senses

Friday, July 14, 2006. Gifu Prefecture
Miyagawa River, Takayama.

"Haibara is still sad because you couldn't come"

Sitting on the toilet, locked up for you don't know exactly how long, you receive a call from Shoko in the middle of your daily crisis, which hasn't been improving even a bit.

While she talks a little about how her mission in Okinawa is going, you finish touching up the concealer with powder on your dark circles, feeling the plumping cherry lip balm on your lips already tickling.

You´ve been putting a lot of effort, but lately your appearance, mood and energy betrays the lack of basic needs, you can't help it. You haven't been able to control it. Since the end of June, everything has been quicksand, no matter how hard you fight or how still you stay, you keep sinking no matter what and the truth is... sometimes you don't care to have the strength anymore.

You would like to sink if that means never feeling what you feel.

You didn't even want to be here.

Anywhere… but you were afraid to spend time alone, of how far this could go.

Shoko sighs on the other end of the line, while you twist your toes in an attempt to release some tension "That boy... I'll call him later” She pauses, which apparently was longer than she wanted because now the question no longer sounds so casual. “ Hey, what about our boys? How are they doing so far?"

You know she's put a cigarette in her mouth, which you confirm by hearing the click of the lighter.

Riko's death was at the end of May. Obviously still recent but Satoru seems to be hiding the remains of his mourning quite well, as is Suguru.

"If they are not well, then they´re doing a good job hiding it"

"I see"

The truth is, since it happened touching on the subject has been like a Taboo, but not because they had failed. Her death was a hard blow. You all feel like a family that sits down to dinner every night and suddenly has to see an empty place at the table.

But your mourning... your mourning was also guilt.

When the boys were entrusted with this mission, you thought that you should be the one to take care of her. And when you found out she was murdered, you knew. Riko Amanai must have lived, she shouldn´t have died. The person who toke her life… you would have…

You clench your fists, until your nails buried in your palms hurt you. It made you feel like an idiot, because in fact, Master Tengen had approved it. You remember how your stomach tightened as you imagined what Satoru and Suguru's reaction would be once they found out that you could handle something like that. One step closer to the truth, but Yaga-Sensei suggested otherwise, showing your medical results.

You were useful as well as useless.

And in the end, s elfishly, it´s a relief that the boys never knew about it, they should never know, ever. If they ever did... you wouldn't know where to hide, because you couldn´t even hide from Yaga-Sensei or Master Tengen. Seeing them almost every day was a tortuous task.

They never talked about it in your presence ever again. And b y the fact they deprived you of all information regarding Riko's death, you knew… Yaga-Sensei didn't want you to feel guilty about the undeniable truth.

You should have been there.

And you felt unworthy of his protection. You were useful as well as useless, and you´re ashamed.

You leave the cubicle, placing the makeup bag on one side of the sink to start brushing your hair. Your eyes static on the baby blue silk ribbon peeking out, that didn't look good with your colorimetry. But it was fine, because it wasn't for you. It was too small for your amount of hair.

Swallowing hard, you turn to the mirror, ordering yourself to control the tears once and for all. The annoying sensation that rises in temperature the more you think about it becomes scorching just below your ribs, burning your stomach. You would like someone to hug you now, it doesn´t matter if you can´t stop the crying. But it won't be possible, because no one knows.

Nobody can know.

Still, you close your eyes imagining anyone wrapping their arms around you giving you some comfort, maybe until you fall asleep, because you´re tired.

You´re really, really tired.

Maybe… him? Would he say something to give you comfort? Something gentle? Something to sedate this pain a little? Something to make the future not look as dark as you see it. You can only imagine it, because is too sweet, because he doesn't know.

He can never know.

He... could he ever do it?

You´d like him to say something sweet, just once… because you know his actions are a bad combination of musical notes, an indecipherable song.

You´d like... his actions to match those words he never says. His actions… Does he really mean what he does? It feels like when you´re learning a new language. Maybe what you hear or what you read is not what it seems, you can mistranslate. But… when he steals kisses from you... what would his words be? What would be the proper translation?

What does it mean to him?

When during some class he´s sitting next to you and brushes his hand with yours under the table slightly, making something explode in thousands of colors inside you.

You could never dared to ask him, ever. You prefer to just make the question because imagining the answer feels like burning your finger, warning you that you should take the pot with a thick cloth, but heat crosses all barriers. Deep down you may know the answer and you don´t want to know. This way, in this moment of vulnerability you can keep hope. Hope that unintentionally grew until it left you above the clouds, now you don't know how to cushion the fall. Your remains will be distributed on the hard ground.

If he loves you, why couldn't he just…?

If he…?

You bite your pout, hard.

What he does… will never rhyme with those words he never says. It won´t create a sweet melody soothing for your ears.

You know.

You know…

You really need to stop hoping, expecting things from the wrong people. Out of the corner of the eye, the baby blue ribbon laughs cheerfully. The vibration of the sound reaches your eardrums tenderly and the soft touch on those sweet innocent locks of fine hair sliding through her fingers leaves your burning. You gently shake your head as if you were trying to get something off of you, wanting what you hear to leave your mind.

"Well sweetie, I must go now, enjoy this day for me, okay?"

"Okay"

Your raspy voice arouses concern in your best friend. “Airi?”

"Don't worry, I just got out of the river, the water was very cold." You lie.

Shoko remains thoughtful for a few seconds, then promises to bring you something nice from the Island and with that, both hang up.

After a while, your eyes are not so red, so you go back into a cubicle climbing onto the toilet to look out the small window. You can see Haibara already out of the water drying in the sun while Nanami is still swimming as a pro. Near some rocks not very far is Suguru checking his phone, and Satoru is nowhere to be seen. You expect him to surface with Nanami, but he´s alone in the water, and a small pang makes you grit your teeth. So you begin to look for your next hiding place, a little further from the rocks where some trees are being pious offering some shade. Luckily, it faces the opposite side of the river, so you can only hear the sound of the gentle current. But…

The sound that should be relaxing only makes your head feel odd. Out of nowhere is heard as close as if you were submerged, even your hands cling to the grass, cold as you imagine the water to be.

Suddenly, when you blink, you freeze. The strangely familiar and fleeting image leaves a faint trace in your memory. A bluish halo emerges from a pair of hands right in front of your face, both underwater.

Was that real? You shake your head trying to figure it out, peeking out the tree. The sound of the birds, the warmth of the sun, the voices of the people around you, the gentle flow of the river...

Normal.

Frowning, you take off your shoes and put on sunscreen on your legs. When the soles of your feet touch the cool grass, you enjoy the pleasant sensation for a brief second before a baby's laughter echoes in your head, her little feet wobbling on the grass before falling into the arms of a woman. Her laugh, sweet like you've never heard, feels like what she is.

A stranger.

A noise makes you look up at the sky, the green leaves hiding the passage of the plane, moving further and further north. You wonder its destination, trying to distract yourself a bit. Maybe France? You would like to go. French is a language that you proudly mastered well, so you wanted to continue with another language. Maybe Spanish or German. Maybe visiting more countries ?

Like Yuki.

Being away from Tokyo, Kyoto…

"Hey, we thought you were with Satoru"

Suguru approaches, standing next to you. Nanami and Haibara follow behind him with their things also with the unknown.

Where was Satoru?

"No, I… I've been here alone." You say as you pull your legs closer to your chest craning your neck to look at Suguru. He was shirtless and you don't know exactly how to feel. His sculpted torso gives you butterflies but the large cross-shaped scar on his chest kills them. Still, your fingers feel ticklish and the lepidopterans come back to life in your tummy while the sun is a good excuse for the blush on your cheeks.

Satoru had been quite excited about this trip, him and Haibara. Unfortunately for you, both had planned the panorama when you were all together, so you had no choice but to accept. Everyone met very early to take the train and arrive at ten in the morning.

The longest 4 hours of your life.

You had done your best to avoid Satoru and you had to be trapped with him in the same carriage, hoping he wouldn´t get bored and start pulling on your clothes like a puppy. So you spent the entire trip with your face stick the window. Then, Nanami sat next to you and lent you his book.

He didn't seem very interested for the trip, bout your idea changed once you arrived. The first thing Nanami did was get into the river. The way he moved under the water was to be admired.

You could barely stay under water for 5 seconds before you start to despair.

"Maybe he´s hunting" Haibara begins to look into the distance making a gesture with his hands, imitating a sentinel.

"Hunting?" You ask, innocently for a second before realize what he means.

Haibara responds with a giggle, scratching the back of his neck when Nanami glares at him. There were more girls your age in this place who had not hesitated to approach Suguru. It´s obvious they would try to flirt with Satoru, and he would love it, the attention and all.

You begin to play with the hem of your white linen shorts, trying to ease the discomfort when you feel Suguru´s eyes on you, feeling everyone´s silent. Suddenly, Nanami suggests to tour the town. A way to divert the topic that you deeply appreciate.

Haibara accepts super excited to know that he´ll be able to go on the air tram, and Suguru smiles,
extending both hands to help you stand up. You crane your neck to look at him once more, admiring the way his head blocks the sun. The halo of rays around him make him look like an angel.

“Come, Airi-Chan”

And for the first time all day, you smile genuinely.

When your hands rest on his, it’s like falling on a feather mattress and when he takes them in a firm but gentle grip, lifting you up, it's like swinging. A tingling starts in your stomach rising to your chest when you rise to the top. Besotted by the moment, you don't pay attention when Haibara says he´ll call Satoru to invite him, but the sound of his phone nearby does manage to break you out of your beautiful trance.

Once you let go of Suguru´s hands, you remain besotted and confused. Confused for the same things and for new ones. Walking behind the boys a little hesitantly, following Satoru´s ringtone.

Nanami says he´ll wait there, and you are tempted to stay with him but there are many parts of you that move you forward. A part of you is willing to take all the blows so this specific mourning can start and end. Another part is to show that you don't care what you're going to find a few giggles away, but your body tries to protect you from something it knows is going to hurt, so it stops. Haibara steps forward, pushing aside the branches of the weeping willow, revealing the scenery that is worthy of a photo. You can imagine an adult couple opening an old photo album, remembering the moment of youth.

Among the leafy trees, there´s some people under sunshades, sitting on the grass and the benches enjoying the afternoon that is about to end in a purple and pink sunset… And Satoru. The image radiating an imaginary fruity and musky scent. He, on one of the swing with a girl sitting on the other right next to him. His hand surrounding the chain swinging her slightly. His cheekbones high because of his smile, raising his shades a little. High and flushed, maybe because of the sun, maybe because of the girl's curves, whose hair moves loosely, her cheeks glowing and pink. She looks so carefree, happy, a bright aura around her that invites you to laugh with her... it makes you wonder if her mother is proud of having such a pretty daughter.

There was nothing wrong. Nothing wrong with being a young man attracted to someone beautiful, someone less broken. He can have all those things, he had the right b ut... If he doesn't look at you like he does with her, why you feel this things for him? Why does he steals kisses from you? Why does he leave you with that longing tingle on your skin when he brushes your hand, never fulfilling that silent promise to take it?

With your muscles tense, you look up again and the sunset is not purple and pink anymore, is blue. His eyes piercing yours lack their typical playful gleam, no longer smiling. If he's not doing anything wrong, and if all this time it's been nothing, then why? Why does he unleashes a storm without caring if you had shelter or not? Does he have to see you all soaked and cold? Why does he stop smiling? Why is he looking at you like that? As if you were slipping through his fingers like water, being absorbed into the earth from which no flower would sprout.

C ould he make the merciful gesture of stopping?

Haibara approaches and invites him. You don't know if he accepts or not, because you walk away looking for a new place to hide. Hoping he would say no, because you don't want to find out if Satoru would be so insensitive as to invite the girl.

In the end, he declined and stayed. Suguru, you don´t know why, did the same. Disappointed and downhearted, you were left waiting and wanting his company, playing with the rings on your fingers. And you didn't want to think about it anymore. You rather to enjoy the view, the purple and pink clouds above the sunset w hile Nanami watches with amusement how Haibara enjoys the aerial tramp trip for the first time like a little boy.

"Hush now honey, we'll be down soon"

Without being able to help it, you turn to look behind you. A woman caress her little girl´s head sitting on her lap, rocking her. You guess she's scared, and her mother... her mother comforts her. And your chest squeezes, breaks, burns.

On the verge of tears again, you turn to the sunset again, biting the pout on your lips. Suddenly, the aerial tram suffers a small turbulence, indicating that it is about to stop.

“Mommy!” The little girl gasps, clinging to her mother´s neck while she laughs softly, letting her know that the nightmare is over, and you wonder when yours ends.

“Mommy! Tomorrow it´s my birthday, will you come to pick me up?”

“Mommy, Christmas is almost here. Will we visit the temple to pray for dad?”

“Mommy?”

“Mom...?”

“Airi-chan?”

You blink a few times, feeling your cheeks soaked. The aerial tram door is open, and the place is already empty.

It was difficult to convince Haibara, who never stopped saying that the girl on the swing was ugly and that you were much prettier. You preferred to leave it like that, it was better for them to think that you were sad because of Satoru.

You all toured a large part of the town. Everything was so green and the houses were small and beautiful. You would really like to see them in winter, imagining they would look like gingerbread cookie houses. You also bought souvenirs for Shoko and Utahime, stopping at a craft store. They sold wooden figurines, wicker, tea and cookies. And it was before deciding to return that a bunny keychain caught your attention. The bunny was white, fluffy and with brown eyes, with long, floppy ears but the aerial tramp was about to leave, so you had to run.

You returned around nine.

Haibara blissful and happy with his bags without stopping talking until an aggressive blush appears on his cheeks when Nanami mention all the things he bought for Shoko. You humor him by moving your eyebrows up and down, laughing when Shoko´s sweet boy covers his face.

Then, Suguru calls your name.

Sitting on a bench near the same tree you were before. He asks you how everything was but Satoru, with a soft drink in his hand, does not join the conversation, strangely calm and quiet. Sharing a fleeting glance with Suguru, whose eyes go near the river where a group of four people prepares a brazier. You frown uncomprehendingly until you notice their haughty countenance and narrow eyes.

Hate is a big word, so playing with your rings, you look at Satoru searching for any hint of displeasure. If he ever found out, would his displeasure be automatic? Would he make you suffer for it too?

“Did something happen?” You whisper and Suguru shakes his head.

“Nothing happened because they´re all pussie- argh!” Suguru's arm squeezes Satoru's neck to avoid trouble, but it was too late. Three of them turn in your direction while the other remains focused on the brazier.

Their looks speaking a threat wanting to be fulfilled while Satoru tries de free himself.

“Gojo, that´s enough” Nanami intervenes while Haibara clings to his bags for dear life. He won't leave here with Shoko's gifts in tatters. On the other hand, you didn't know what to do, when suddenly, the burning wood in the brazier cracks. The Zenin guy hisses in pain, rubbing his arm where the fire spark hit him, while the sound of the current increases in decibels to such a degree that you want to cover your ears. Then you blink, and all you see is fire.

Black and red, devastating and uncontrollable.

The trees falling into flames, cracking. The hot temperature hurting your skin and the smoke burning your lungs when you breathe, your eyes stinging because of the thick smoke, dazed. Then, you hear someone running, heavy steps on the cold water and the agonized cry of a woman.

A heartbreaking scream penetrates your bones, breaking you out of the strange reverie.

“Pff! A candy lasts longer in my mouth than you would in a fight with me."

“Gojo! Just drop it” Haibara starts pulling at his jacket like an owner whose dog won't let him open its snout to see what the hell he's swallowing.

“What…?” Your heart skips eight a beat, taking a step back when the four strangers are face to face with Satoru, Suguru and Nanami.

What the hell was that?

"Is there a problem?"

Everyone turns to the gentle-looking old man, one of the campsite caretakers. Haibara sighs in relief, Satoru raises an eyebrow mockingly because an old man just saved their lives while Nanami just rolls his eyes at him. And you? Confused, standing right behind Suguru who turns to help you with your bags. And Satoru seals the night giving them the middle finger before leaving.

Once inside the train, you practically drop like a sack of potatoes in your seat, tired. Whatever that was has left you with trembling hands and the only thing you managed to do was put on your headphones. You hadn't even realized that Suguru was still by your side, who leans towards you pressing his ear to your headphone. “What are you listening?"

His cheek feels warm as does his fragrance but t oo nervous to enjoy his closeness and scent, you pull away a little offering him the device.

"A- Alizee”

“Alizee?”

“She´s a French singer”

He lets his head fall on your shoulder crossing his arms while listening to the song. "So this is the song you're always humming.” He looks at you with a smile. “What´s the name?"

Your throat feels dry, feeling in a hurry. He's not going to ask you the meaning of the song, right¡

Right?

"Lui ou toi"

Suguru smile widens. "How sexy."

You laugh nervously. “Do you even know what it means?”

"No, I meant you speaking French."

You feel like your face is going to melt. It surprises you how you can change your mood so quickly. Or is it something only Suguru knows how to do lately?

"What does it mean?"

Holy shit, holy be the holiest shit in this shitty unholy world.

You want to hide. Suguru straightens up staring at you, enjoying your hot cheeks no longer caring about anything else. You feel like the seconds pass too slowly and the words get stuck in your throat.

Wouldn't it be too obvious? You hope not. Maybe it was shameless of you to feel that sad about Satoru, but it's not like he wasn't giving you reasons.

"Him or you"

Suguru did his best not to smile. And remembers how he took the girl's attention away from Satoru to annoy him. Getting her to ignore him the entire time until he got bored and went into the river again. Suguru didn't care about the disappointment on her sweet face when he said goodbye to follow him and giving him a first and a last lecture about you.

He knows that Satoru didn't like that, because instead of answering his questions, he answered them only with questions. He knew Satoru never went further with the girls who flirt with him, at least not in public because as far as he knows, since his best friend met you, Suguru has never knew of anyone with whom he had done something he might regret after seeing your face if you ever find out.

Satoru could brag about many thing, but not about girls. Maybe because it was so natural, maybe because actually he cares about you, very much in his own way. And the truth is Suguru was getting tired of it.

He wonders if you're tired too, if Satoru ever hits rock bottom, it will be too late for him.

For the rest of the trip, everyone fell asleep except you.

The music had stopped playing two hours ago and all you can think about is home. You are not grateful to have a roof over your head, nor the money she sends every month. You just don't want to get home because your heart is winning against your brain, trying to find its way away from your emotions and start a path of pure logic, so you can end your mourning once and for all.

Her? You don't know how long it will take, or if you´ll ever get over it. Satoru? S omething you know you can put an end to, that you must put an end to.  An act of mercy towards yourself, towards your innocent heart that only in this way knew what love was, that never understood until now that this was not right, from any of them. That with her would never be a home, and that with him it wasn't going to be a hot cute fruity and musky photo with a purple and pink sunset on the background.

How will you get it?

What will become of you?

When you arrived at the train station, you all shared the taxi. Your house being the first stop. Suguru and Nanami helped you with your things and your purchases, accompanying you to the door, the only thing missing was your backpack. When you turn around, it was in front of your face.

 Satoru held it, handing it to you.

"Thanks" Uncomfortably and with a heavy heart you take your backpack, on the verge of panic when Satoru wants to make a shameless self-invitation.

"Can I have a glass of water?"

"Satoru..."

Suguru calls out to him, but there was a warning edge in his voice. You could only bury your fingers in your backpack, just wanting to close the door.

"What? I'm just thirsty."

"I'll buy you a soda on the way, Airi is tired, leave her alone"

Tired…

Those words had a deeper meaning and Suguru fully intended it to be so. Now, they both look at each other with their hands in their pockets without saying anything.

A knowing silence.

“Suguru…” Stunned, you say his name but Satoru turns to you, with an expression that you had never seen before. His face was neither playful nor mocking. He was serious and...

"Fine, let's go."

Angry?

Suddenly, a light bulb goes on.

Why did Suguru stay at the river instead of going to town with you? Was he advocating for you? You feel pathetic, y ou never begged Satoru for anything and yet you looked so defeated that Suguru felt like he should do something? You could feel grateful, but you are upset, angry with yourself. You would like comfort but you don't want anyone's pity either. And maybe Satoru indeed was upset but that didn't stop him from trying to kiss you on the temple.

A year ago, you would have seen those bright colors but now those colors were opaque.

“Thank you guys, Goodnight”

Haibara let out a huge laugh and booed at Satoru who just stood there dumbfounded in front of the now closed door. Y ou stay with your back against it with your heart about to burst out of your chest, and a voice inside you congratulating you for not letting him touch you, only allowing him to feel the air around you against his lips.

Once you hear the car leave, you slide until you reach the floor, exhaling all the air in your lungs. You place your hand to your chest as if this way you could calm the crazy rhythm of your heart. You've already taken the first step, you can't back out, nor let Satoru take any more meaningless steps towards you from now ow.

For yourself.

Before standing up, you take your phone out of your backpack to let Shoko know that you made it home safely, but a small pink paper bag makes you frown. Hesitating, you put your hand in, the soft white fur making you gasp in surprise. Grabbing by the small silver chain, you pull softly and a pair of brown eyes looks right into yours. The long and floppy ears telling you how it got here.

Haibara is a sweet boy, heart softer than a Mochi. Should you think about it too much? A blindfold has been removed from your eyes, and it feels cold.

How different is this keychain from the baby blue ribbon?

You look around you, in this empty and silent house and admire how hope was able to keep you afloat all this time. Now… How long will these envelopes with money stop arriving? Until you come of age? Will it be her way of saying goodbye permanently?

When your vision blurs with tears and your hand clenches the keychain tightly, you shake your head, ordering yourself.

"Stop it, stop it... stop crying" You can´t obey. Overwhelmed, you let your head fall back as your body begins to shake and a searing heat settles on your chest and neck.

Please, not again...

You begin to do what you can to breathe normally, inhale and exhale trying to clear your mind.

Quickly and shakily, you release the keychain and go straight to the kitchen to run the cold water over your head. And that was the only way your lungs seemed to give way after a couple of minutes. The cold water running over your face mixes with the hot tears, joining together until they´re one falling down your nose.

“Can you call me when you get home, I want to ask you something”

Sent.

After getting out of the shower and drying your hair, you brush it without stopping to look at your phone , when it finally rings.

“Hey”

“Hi”

"Um...” it´s just an excuse. But you don´t know how to ask the question. “You see, I was…”

Come on, girl, you can do this.

“I… how-?”

“The keychain?”

Pff… so close.

“Yeah…”

No…

“Satoru, he called Haibara and asked him to buy it, it´s for you"

"How do you know it´s for me?"

“Because the idiot called me first, plus, does he know anyone else who drools over bunnies more than you do?"

"I don't know, it´s most likely" Your voice sounded so casual, so unflappable that Suguru just didn't believe it. He could always see through you, even more than Shoko sometimes, but now he doesn't know exactly what to say, and apparently neither do you.

“Suguru?”

“I´m here”

You bite your lip nervously, turning off the lights. The darkness of your room emboldens you because he's not here, and if he were, he wouldn't be able to see your face because it's dark.

Taking a deep breathe, you finally ask.

"Did Satoru ever tell you that you´re his best friend?"

“No, too gay for me” He hears you stifle a laugh, but you're not satisfied with the answer.

"And how do you know you are?"

Suguru could answer that question easily enough, but he doesn't want the answer to be a trigger for you, still, he wants to tell the simple truth. “I guess that… when you know, you know”

Hope... really is a blind friend, that when it leaves you, it is like going in a tunnel without light.

Where are you heading now?

“Yeah… I think that too”

Now you´re satisfied, because you know.

Now you know.

“Suguru?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you…”

With the idea that Suguru would hang up, you´re were about to wish him goodnight but it turns out you both talked for hours, until one of you fell asleep first, you don't remember, so it was probably you.

The next morning, your friend in Okinawa Island listens to Haibara a little… off.

“I don´t know, Shoko, maybe she doesn´t know how to swim? It wasn´t that deep. ”

"Don't worry, I just got out of the river, the water was very cold."

November 21^th, Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School
Medical wing. 4:30pm

“It was her”

Shoko stops typing on the computer when Satoru puts the suspense aside. He remains silent, with his chin over his arms leaning on the back of the chair, attentive to her reaction.

Long seconds pass in which she does not turn around and start typing again. Satoru buries his nose against his arm stifling a snort.

He didn't come here to ruin the Shoko's day, nor did he come on a whim thinking that it wouldn't be fair if he was the only one feeling unbalanced by your sudden appearance. Most likely... you could return to Tokyo, so he wanted her to know it from him and save her a surprise. Although Shoko does not scream in pain, he knows may still an open wound.

"She murdered those girls?"

Satoru gets up from the chair, putting it in its place near the stretcher. He also got to wonder why you would do something like that, but from all the questions he expected from her specifically, this was not one of them. Especially with that voice that sounds so casual, as if she were asking some patient what ails them.

Sometimes he feels that Shoko underestimates how much he has matured in recent years.  He's still a little childish but he's not as self-centered anymore. When he's going to say something stupid, he always ends up saying it anyway but at least he thinks about it three times before doing it. Now he can read emotions much better than before… just like now. Shoko tries to act normally in a way that was too calculated, showing him how much this affected her.

And it was your fault.

Satoru is not the right person to declare that, but whoever it came from, it was the truth. Whatever reasons you had for leaving, you should have told her because Shoko was never a bad friend to you. Losing Suguru had been a hard blow for both, then losing you right after...

Could it also be that his friendship with her had been a trigger for you after what he did? Maybe you didn't want to make her choose, so you chose for her. And maybe you weren't wrong, because they´re both here together despite everything. How would you react? Did you even care?

He wonders what Shoko would choose now? Should he destabilize her a little more so she can screams in pain? He would comfort her, that´s what friend do.

Ending her martyrdom, Satoru finally answers.

"No, she didn´t"

Something inside her broke loose and fell to the ground, something that kept her legs shaking from not being able to support all the weight of it.

"That's good, she would have gotten into serious trouble."

“Yeah, she would´ve” Satoru blindfolds himself again, leaving her alone to treat the wound she hasn't even bothered to put stitches on.

When he closes the door, Shoko leans back on the chair running a hand through her hair. Unconsciously, her eyes lands to a folder on the computer, her fingers searching and clicking on the file of medical records from 2006. Among so many names, she finds the one she was looking for and suddenly, the medical room started to feel too small.

Moderate anemia

Osteopenia

Pneumonia

Bradycardia

Taking her cigarettes, she leaves the medical wing. Reaching the patio, the cold wind hits her face, and she releases all the air trapped in her lungs to fill them again with puffs of smoke leaning on the railing of the small porch staircase. Then, her eyes falls on one of the empty benches when a strong gust of wind moves the thick branches of trees that have already lost their leaves, but she can hear the laughter in the wind along with the spring leaves rubbing against each other.

Her cigarette about to fall from her parted lips.

"I caught you! How naughty you are, leave one for me"

"You have Yu!"

And just as the wind came, Shoko came back in walking slowly to the underground. The antiseptic smell fills her nostrils and the low temperature makes her skin crawl.

The morgue.

Her heels echo in the long hallway, leaving behind the laugher inside her head when she enters the main room. She´s grateful is empty because she doesn't want to talk to anyone, she's afraid that her voice may sound strange, shaky.

Shoko moves forward opening the last door. The cold rooms.

Putting on a mask and gloves, she goes to the end of the large room stopping in front of one of the refrigerators. The peeling painted number on the metal indicating that she´s facing the correct door.

385.

A 16-year-old girl corpse lying on the stretcher comes out from the cabinet. Her long brown hair that she imagines was once shiny and silky, is now dull and dry. Her skin, now bluish and cold, has countless cuts along her arms, hands, and deep stab marks on her fragile body. Of all that remains of her poor being, Shoko pays attention in the particular birthmark near her collarbone, that only by miracle the technicians managed to identify. It looked like a pinkish brown cloud.
She closes her eyes and a soft part of her imagine her showing it to her friends saying it was a cotton candy, or maybe a sweet boyfriend placing kisses around, asking her if it tastes as sweet as it looks.

Shoko remembers the first time she saw a corpse. Since she started working in the medical wing, she always dedicated herself to healing the wounded, that was her job. But the first time she removed the blanket from a stranger´s body was difficult to put into words. It was like how your body gets after a scare. Her body felt super light, her thighs and stomach tense, but it soon disappeared. She didn't let that overwhelming feeling cloud her interest in medicine, even when what came next almost made the inevitable happen within her profession.

Become numb.

Everything she does and investigates is always done with a poker face, what happens inside her is of no relevance to that nor of anyone else's concern. That belongs to her, but when these girls arrived…

Shoko had seem bodies torn apart, crushed and everything imaginable by curses, but those cases were different. She knows what to expect every time a misfortune like that happens, but this? Here? She won´t open the next cabinet, there´s no need, her state is the same. The other girl was also murdered by a person who clearly had a serious problem that no professional in the world could treat, it was too late. The viciousness with which they were attacked was… there´s no word for it.

More than 135 stab wounds in her body. Abdomen, back, neck, and…

Shoko swallows hard. She can only imagine the fear they felt, wondering how long it took before they lost consciousness, how much pain they felt before life was torn from their veins. It's clear that whoever the beast that did this hates women. The girl's breasts were completely destroyed by the stabbing, as was her vulva.

Shoko lightly caresses her cheekbone with her index before covering her with the blanket again. Perhaps trying to convey something delicate and warm one last time even though she won't be able to feel anything anymore, and she promises with trembling lips, knowing they can't hear her, except for Satoru who´s right behind the door.

"Don´t worry girls, who did this… we'll find out” She places her hand on door 386, and her voice always calm, now it breaks. “I´m glad, you now? It wasn't my friend."

Giving up, Shoko falls on her knees for the second time in this same room. And Satoru opens the door kneeling next to her because that's what friends do.

“There is no curse more twisted than love.”

Secret location, Osaka.
7:18p.m

“Well?”

The painful silence surrounds the whole place. The only thing that proves that all those present are living beings was the mist of their breaths.

Homura, standing next to you, clenches his fists tightly, full of anger and grief, sharing with you the whirlwind of regret and guilt. You would like to take his hand, promise him they´ll pay for what they have done, but now you cannot falter.

Time is running out.

Taking another step before the two kneeling men, you demand an answer again. “I´ll have an answer tonight, I warn you."

"She infiltrated without help, Airi-Sama… we didn´t know, not even her brother-"

“Her brother wasn't there, you were.” Your voice is a death sentence, as is Homura's eyes over them. And once again the silence is sharp, if they move, they may get cut.

Not making mistakes was crucial, and even more crucial was that if someone made one, they had to report it immediately.

And that's where they sinned.

"We´re really sorry, Airi-Sama, but It was too late, we thought that it would be better if-..."

In the blink of an eye, the person next to him glares at him, with wide eyes begging him to shut his mouth. Standing up when Homura grabs his partner´s neck, lifting him up and roaring in his face. "So you already knew!? How long has my sister been in that fucking place!?"

Between gasps, he answers and both hearts skip a beat. You could only close your eyes hoping that nothing else happened.

"Thr- three weeks ago"

Some younger members begin to whisper, fearful and doubtful. While Homura's grip begins to become more suffocating.

“Homura” You intervene.

"Just think about it, we would never have been able to know what happened to Sho if she hadn't infiltrated. All the information she managed to rescue, everything would have ended, just like Sho´s lif-“

"SHUT UP!" Homura ordered him at the unpleasant truth, forcing him to take a step back while the pigeons flutter away. And the murmurs increase.

You frown, frustrated with your cousin who is unable to see beyond this cause, unable to see why you´re all different from the Zenin despite sharing what runs through their veins. Because he enjoys a privilege that Homura doesn't have. Noriko was waiting for him at home, safe and sound with her babies, but she wasn´t the only one waiting for her loved one to arrive home safely.

"Homura, let him go… now" And with a single glance everyone stays silent, only the cough of whom Homura's hand freed echoed. “Before the dawn, Hotaru will be back with us, along with Sho´s remains"

“Wouldn't it be too risky?”

All eyes fall upon Haruki, whose annoying quality for a group as organized as yours could prove to be dangerous. He´s too individualistic, always complaining but ultimately following the orders. For many, making him predictable, but you prefer to think the opposite. Begging to whoever listens that he´s not the one to make a false move.

“May the sky fall on them and on those who interfere in the rescue of my brother's from that soon to be a rubble of ashes.” Homura´s green eyes full of fire shows the determination and resilience of his heart.

“We won't leave anyone behind, Haruki… death or alive" Haruki seemed to want to say something, but your look made him understand that the discussion was already over. “At any time, and I really hope it doesn't happen, could it be any of you, would you like to be left behind? An abandoned corpse and not be honored by those who fought at their side?” The reprimand also falls on the others, erasing any doubt from their hearts. “I´ll be the one who enters the residence, once I found Hotaru I´ll take her to Kaen and return for Sho´s body”

Turning to Homura who seems to blow smoke from his nose, you promise. "You´ll have your justice, but now we just need to leave them something small."

He´s not happy with staying and wait, you understand. But you can't risk taking him with his head boiling. Now, with your hands inside your pockets, you head out to leave this ominous place followed by Kaen, ending the meeting. “Return safely”

“Return safely, Airi-sama”

Taking flight through the dark sky, the beast roars from the pain of your loyal ones.

And your rage.

ʚ♡ɞ

Zenin Residence, Tokyo
10:20p.m

The piano can be heard in some distant rooms.

And if someone paid more attention, they could hear something else...

A few servants walk quickly through the halls of the mansion trying to finish their duties so they can go to cover their ears with their pillows.  

The long red fingers of the leader's son pressed each key of the elegant instrument and moved gracefully along them creating a soft and melancholic melody. The agonized screams camouflaged by the notes.

In the same room, a girl waits in reverence position, squeezing her eyes and biting her tongue, praying. The melody feels like a countdown for her. Could it be that she was also discovered? Would she suffer the same fate?

Suddenly, someone opens the sliding door and the music stops, scaring her. She wouldn't have a chance here alone, and the only hope she had was to get the message across.

And finally receive help.

“They still don´t want to talk? How impolite of them…” The black leather chair squeaks as Naoya turns to look at his father, whose clothes are clean, unlike him.

His sleeves… just like his face, are splattered with blood.

"You´re wasting time" Naobito walks into the room ignoring the girl who tries to keep her hands outstretched and not clench them in rage.

"Or they have too much devotion for this person, father…”

Naobito remains serious unlike many other times. Naoya on the other hand, knows what his father is thinking and smiles mockingly. A stranger has him by the balls, afraid that at any moment these will torn away.

Stupid old man...

His father doesn´t matter here. No one will miss him if he dies and his ugly flabby cock won´t be of use anymore. The least he could do now was help him make the path smoother for him, so he could slide more easily to his rightful position. Especially now they were so close.

Naobito had become too carefree with the issue and it’s not Naoya´s desire to give any credit to those pathetic sperm wastes but they were too unpredictable. He´ll never admit it out loud but he underestimated them… just like his father did in the past. So much that over time they create their own poor attempted of clan.

It hadn't been that hard to get the information. The death of some of his cousins were not regrettable because they were weak. Their closest relatives did not even complain because they know that being weak is forbidden. But he didn't get very far… The information he got was almost as null as before.

Until some causeless rebels arrived with the news, making him feel... he prefers not to give it a name, because those beings are not worthy of making him feel even the most insignificant feeling, nothing more than disgust. They said the group was mainly led by four people, the four of them directed under the complete command of one.

The owner of the five cursed mounts.

What were their names? He didn't know it.

Their location? Ambiguous, they used to move from one place to another.

Their faces…?

Almost.  

Not all of them looked alike, but others did. That´s why when one of the spoken portraits they managed to finish it made him almost drool like a hungry animal. The man on the paper wasn´t old, maybe Naoya´s age or a bit older, and the resemblance to that brat Fushiguro was shocking. He smiled so hard that his cheeks sored and laughed so loud that everyone wondered if he was going mad.

The search was going to be easier from that moment on, but one night… those treacherous bastards disappeared. Some say it was suspicious, that maybe it was just to mislead but to him, it was so obvious. It wasn´t to mislead, they were telling the truth.

They were followed and annihilated. And that meant only one thing. They managed to infiltrate.

So he just waited, waited for the rats to feel comfortable and safe enough to come out. And one morning, sending coded messages, Naoya managed to step on one's tail. The little rat fought and squeaked hard but it was not enough. Nor were the methods enough to make him confess, because he never did. He just screamed and cursed.

And died.

But there was still hope, there were still others Naoya suspected. And Naobito was so fucking tired of his son´s paranoia. He makes a face, frowning. "End this, who do you think they're going to hold responsible if someone finds out about your stupidity?”

With a dramatic sigh, Naoya stands up. "Give me another chance, with those wounds and without care, they´ll die tonight anyways" With calm steps, and still with that smile on his face, walks to his father and whisper "If I have to do this every night with whoever I will, after all... it´s for the sake of our clan, father."

Naobito grabs Naoya's arm tightly, pulling him towards him. He may be drunk but he´s not stupid… and he knows his son dares to believe that. He doesn't seem to understand that one thing was to find this person who threatens to destabilize them and the other is that the Zenin clan itself may begin to fall apart from within. Naoya needs to understand there´s no better scenario than another. If the owner of the cursed mounts is a man, the best one can hope for is that he´ll accept a deal with them, adopting him as a legitimate member and perhaps marry him to some daughter of the main heads of the clan.

And in case it's a woman...  the idea is unpleasant. Because it´ll be an impossible task to put a leash around her neck. With such strength and the clan's well-known reputation for only elevating men, it would be only a dream to put her inside this cage. And he's a little worried about what Naoya is capable of trying to do to get her into it. If only a miracle were granted to them, marrying her to his son is a very good option but betrayal is called that way for a reason.  An enemy does not betray you, an ally does. Naoya could die in his sleep, poisoned, murdered, as long as someone else manages to take his place.

How many will fight and put a child inside behind Naoya´s back? And how much that body could endure once Naoya gets rid of it to put his own? From there, he must watch even under the rocks to ensure that the pregnancy comes to term.

 "Don't go overboard with this, brat. Do as I said!”

When the doors close, the girl stretches her sore back stifling a gasp as she struggles to stand up, seeing the bloody footprints Naoya left on the floor. She follows the steps to the piano while holding a bucket of water “to clean”. She kneels, looking back one last time, and quickly immerses both hands in the water now shining with an electric blue halo, each particle of water full of cursed energy sending the secret message.

Flinching, the doors suddenly open scares her. One of the maids arrives to tell her she must then prepare the bath for Naoya, together with another girl. She nods, hoping to go unnoticed like the last time.

Once alone again, she barely gets back to her feet, trembling and horrified by the red fingerprints on the keys. She bites her lip as tears fall down her cheeks and onto the keys, wiping them vigorously creating a decomposed melody.

ʚ♡ɞ

Unlike Meiyoku who was almost as large as an airplane, Kageno was the size of an eighteen-wheeled truck. His scales were a dark grayish color ending in his wings with a sapphire blue. The most beautiful and less terrifying cursed mount of the five.

The stealthy and the fastest.

Close the location, you fly higher above the clouds directing the flight to a secluded place where before landing on the ground, the mount disappears in a black fading swirl. You and Kaen stepping silently on the outskirts of a plot. The smell of earth and wet grass fills your nostrils, something that could be enjoyed if it weren't for the situation you are in.

Without saying anything, you both walk with caution for about fifteen minutes.

The branches of the trees rubbing against each other begin whispering something familiar, your cursed energy involuntarily focusing on the soles of your feet to your head like some kind of alarm. Suddenly, a relaxing sound is composed and travels through the air, a soft murmur that flows over the drowned rocks.

A river.

In just a few minutes, your feet stop in front of the cold current that invites you to stay and try to find out what it is, while the south wind bathed in dew caresses your face, strong indicating you its destiny. Turning to your left, the white noise guides you to an imposing waterfall. Its beauty and how the curtain collides against the rocks from such considerable height warns about its danger.

And it seems to be whisperings something as well…

Déjà vu.

“Airi-Sama?”

“This way”

Walking on water, both of you cross the river when something like an electric shock made you stagger, about to leave your legs submerged. Kaen looks at you worried while you, distrustful, are about to kneel and dip your fingers in the cold river, but you stop.

A piano melody keeps you upright, it sounds as clear as the current. As sinister as the smell of blood. It makes the wind feel colder and the river more unstable under your feet. And it's thanks to Kaen's confused look that you know it's your technique. He´s not able to hear it and follows you in silent, stopping a few meters from the large mansion surrounded by oaks and naked cherry trees, waiting for spring to come.

Without wasting time, a shadow emerges from your hands taking the shape of a knife. Pinning it to the ground you command.

“Wait for my signal”

But before you go, Kaen asks you something. The hopelessness throbbing in your system letting you know it’s there "What are we going to tell him if we don't find Sho's body?"

You already thought about it. Nobody knows what happened inside this place, only you are about to find out. But it could be true. There´s a big chance they have disposed of Sho´s body. A way to punish you all.

Kaen waits, but in atorturous silence you leave him behind without and answer.

Becoming a fading swirl, you go deeper into the snake nest. You feel the drastic change in temperature as you take shape inside the mansion. Everything is dark giving you some advantage to go faster, but you don´t.

This place...

There are no photographs on the walls or anything like that, something too warm for such a place. Everything looks... quite traditional, boring for your liking. So much traveling has made you lose taste for the sober style of Japan. It smells too herbal, like a bitter medicinal tea. Not welcoming nor cozy, but inhospitable and harsh. How is it possible? This place… this is where your father was born and raised.

You can't help but wonder how your father was the way he was, having grown up in a place like this. You can only imagine a couple of things, because you've never met someone who genuinely knew him. But you can´t start touching all in your way to find out what his childhood was like. He was a sorcerer and he was a man, it couldn't have been easier for him. There´s no need, after all, he abandoned this place as soon as a girl was born.

You.

Since he couldn´t change those around him, who constantly threatened with their actions or attitudes against their other female relatives, he wanted to make sure to create a safe place for you. In some way, you could say that he achieved it. But still… they took him away from you, and you still couldn't find him. That's why you hope for dear life to find Sho's body, and Hotaru alive.

The death of someone you love is a tear in the heart, inconsolable for the soul not to be able to say goodbye and say some last words even though the inert body cannot hear you, because you do not even have that within your reach to give one last time. Dignity, honor, sorrow.

A funeral.

With a couple more steps, you turn into a long hallway. The half-closed doors lets the moonlight illuminate part of it. And it was only thanks to the noise some feet makes against the ground with fast movements that you became aware of the presence. Peeking outside, a girl perhaps around 15 years old, quite tall for her age trains alone with a wooden spear. Her fluid movements leave no doubt that she does these training sessions often, imagining the aftermath of the blow by the way she throws herself forward with the spear, simulating a direct attack.

"Miss Maki, you´ll catch a cold if you continue like this, please go back to be-"

"Leave her, that's her way to feel useful"

The maid is startled by the sudden presence at her side. Another girl quite similar appears, really pretty but with shorter hair and petulant attitude. Her energy oscillates with mischievousness and... Pain?

You look back outside, hiding in the maid´s shadow. Noticing how nothing oscillates from the spear girl, no trace of cursed energy.

A non-sorcerer.

It is not the first time you have heard of a heavenly restriction case, but the fact that it is under this roof precisely makes you wonder about the weight of this girl's steel balls.

The girl named Maki, stops moving and sigh annoyed. "What? Did any guy break up with you? They say heartbroken girls become annoying.”

Oh girl.

"Something you'll never live because you're so ugly."

“I´ll kick your ass”

“Poor thing, as you could”

At this point you see the scene with the same grimace as the maid.

"You´d be easily defeated, like those stupid cacti of yours"

"Their thorns would hurt more than your pathetic spear, and they´re just fine!"

It seems nostalgia came to you anyway, it’s been a long time since you've seen a fight between little children. You hold a sigh when the image came like a flash blinding you.

Damn it.

Those two…

The sound of arcade machines echoes in the back of your mind along with the loud bustle of celebration and defeat. Then, the bouncing of the basketball until it ends up rolling somewhere on the court...

…

Thankfully, the maid moves.

All memory fading momentarily.

She walks down the hallway reaching a longer one with many sliding doors, where you imagine all the other servants sleep. Breaking away from the maid's shadow, you are left behind by her as she enters one of the rooms. Now, passing under each one, you discard every woman you see.
With desperation beginning to ooze through your pores, you reach another hallway, which, despite the soft illumination of the moon outside, looks much darker.

Taking a deep breathe, once again and this time being much more cautious with your presence, you enter almost every room, aware that at any moment someone could surprise you by feeling your cursed energy.

Where is Hotaru?

Resuming your shape in the hallway, you start to think the worst. Your hands quickly stick to the floor about to make a connection, risking someone waking up.

But somethings stops you.

You turn your head slowly towards the end of the hallway, as if the sound of your leather jacket rustling would make what is reaching your keen ears disappear.

Moans.

If Hotaru is alive, you know someone as fearless as her wouldn't be hiding in a room crying against a pillow. She most likely sneaked out into the night to look for Sho's body, and if she was discovered and they haven´t killed her yet… Your chest rises and falls, raging.

Your eyes go from side to side looking for the door where the noise is coming from. A miraculous feat that your feet didn't make any noise in your state. Stopping right at the last door where the man's moans are loudest. Steeling yourself and preparing to kill, you head inside at the speed of light leaning as far as you can on the corner of the roof away from the abuser´s sight, ready to resume your shape and launch yourself at him like a fucking vampire bat with rabies.

But what began as withering fury turned to relief and then to disgust.

Who you recognize as Naoya, has a woman on all fours penetrating her fiercely. Changing positions, he grabs the back of the woman's neck bringing her closer to his cock, and by how eager she started to satisfy him anyone could believe that a crime is not happening. But you really don't know and besides, we were talking about Naoya.

Naobito´s lineage.

Your eyes sharpen, as does your senses when you hear the piano melody in the back of your mind when you look at his fingers tangled in the woman´s hair, leaving you numb from darkening desire for retaliation, justice. Your hands eager to take it.

It would be over soon.

Slowly, the fading swirl reveals you moving down the hallway, your fingers brush against the wall at your left. With each step each musical note becomes louder, and when you hear Sho's screams, fading away to hear Hotaru´s cry you stop. Opening the door without caution knowing that no one is there anymore.

This room is much smaller than the others. The walnut wood moldings on the ceiling and in the corners contrast the lighter walls, and there, right next to the window that lets you see the outside and allows you to hear the girl training in the distance, is the piano. The elegant wall instrument, black in color and atmosphere, wants to play you a melody to tell you what happened.

Closing your hands into a soft fist, you rub your fingertips against each other and against your palms, preparing them for what's to come. Your ears receiving the energy, the notes and voices in whispers. So holding your breath, you finally walk in.

You slowly lift the piano lid revealing the white keys. Your fingers feeling the magnetism of the energy wanting to flow into your being, barely touching them to not to put pressure and avoid making a sound. All your senses are heightened, and numbing the rest of your consciousness, you close your eyes.

His long red fingers move along each key gracefully. The harmonious notes camouflage the sobs, and the distant agonizing screams. The sliding of the door and an old man's voice stops the melody.

“Give me another chance, with those wounds…”

Walking at his side, the door is closed behind them. The keys sound again, disjointed and frenetic, left behind as you advance through the vast hallways following them. Squeezing your eyes tightly, you begin to disappear, staying linked to the flow of energy, following it.

Closer…

Closer…

The large door emits a metallic screech, which runs down your spine in a cold hiss. Then…

Your eyes fly open as your body regains its solidity, turning and dodging in time the mallet that was destined to become embedded in the crown of your head, landing on the keys emitting the coda of the melody in a deteriorated composition.

“WHO THE HELL A-“

Your opponent's heavy body makes a dull sound against the wood after being attacked with your katana, vanishing from your hands as soon as it finishes sliding off his body.

Quickly, you close your eyes, trying to ignore the other doors that open in the next hallway, barely linked to the energy but refusing to let go. The clear voices in the present are heard getting closer, but further and further away with each passing second.

When four men enter the room, they only find a man lying in a puddle of his own vital fluids.

At a run, they all leave the room giving notice to others, alert when all the lights in the house refuse to turn on.

When you open your eyes, a smile of relief graces your tired face as you see the large metallic door in front of you, black and imposing. About to place your hands in the gate latch a little miracle happens, stealing your breath.

Dressed in a yukata and holding a candle in her hand, Hotaru gasps as someone covers her mouth, managing to see a silhouette taller than her before the only light source she has is blown, falling at her feet.

"You're in serious trouble, young lady." You whisper. As soon as you uncover her mouth she turns around and hugs you, crying. Her long, dark hair was messy and loose, and her cheeks red and soaked.

“Sho´s inside… he is… he is…”

“Hush now, I know, come” Taking her hand, you ask her to show you another exit other than the main one. “Kaen is waiting for you outside, I´ll take care of Sho”

Both of you walk through the hallways, trying to memorize them in case you can't teleport again. On the other hand, Kaen, who is about to make a hole in the ground, notices that the knife in the ground disappears. Hurrying to the trees closest to the mansion, he gets into position.

After a few seconds that felt like hours, his lungs fill with air again when he sees Hotaru running towards him. The anxiety and adrenaline making him sweat but there's little left... Her hand stretches out just a few steps away from him, Kaen ready to pick her up and run, but before her hand takes his, she is pulled back by the person who appears like a ghost behind her about to give her a blow that never comes.

The moonlight reflects on the edge of your katana as the attacker´s arm flies away. Immediately, Hotaru kicks him towards you, and when the Zenin member is about to scream in pain you grab his head.

The crack of his neck silencing him.

“Go to the river, go!”

Hotaru's reddened eyes get lost in the darkness of the forest, and you´re ready to come back inside. You sneak away from hungry reptiles like a small rodent in every corner of the mansion until you reach the hatch.

As in the vision, the hatch makes a metallic screech. Frowning when you feel all the cursed spirits hiding inside.

Panic, adrenaline.

Fear...

As if it burns, you move your hand away from the gate, entering what appears to be a kind of pit, spacious, dark and cold. Your feet carefully descend the long stairs without losing sight of the cursed spirits slowly emerging from their hiding places. Stopping in the middle, you follow the sticky noise above you, and as soon as you raise your head towards the ceiling a curse that looked like a giant misshapen cricket launches itself at you. Your Katana splits the creature in half while six more approach at full speed.

Some strands of your hair dance across your face, caressing the blood splattered on your cheeks.

In record time, around thirty-five curses are scattered around the place. The fire illuminating the fluids of various disgusting colors on the walls and stairs as you finish stabbing one. A good number writhing as they burn, while the others began to move away.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, you go deeper into the pit. Your steps slowing down at the long brownish red trail on the floor, as if someone injured was dragged long ago.

Dried blood.

Forcing yourself to continue, you hold the katana tightly in your hands when you hear some curses emitting viscous and guttural noises, making you clench your jaw and breaking out in a cold sweat, already imagining what´s going on. The circulation in your system stops for a second when on a corner, a cursed spirit delights on a corpse, a pair of feet peeking out from under it.

Almost staggering you reach Sho. The dark flames consuming the curse turning it to ashes in matter of seconds, ignoring the rest of the bodies around him. Stifling a gasp you kneel next to him, his torso open and dry, his heart and lungs devoured. You let your head down, asking for his forgiveness. Your lips tremble caressing his cold cheek in a genuine gesture of sorrow and affection, not to see who their perpetrators were, but it´s inevitable. The voices, the screams and the images hitting you like bullets.

You close your eyes, raging, promising once again that all those who dared to harm them would pay dearly. Quickly, you remove the blanket from the other bodies to wrap Sho's as tight as you can, taking him in fireman´s carry to run upstairs. Where halfway down the hallway, several men stop meters away from you demanding answers from you.

And you begin to keep your promise.

“Look!”

Next to the river, Horatu points towards the sky. Giving Kaen an explanation for the strange hunch that suddenly appeared and that he had not been able to appease. A thick curtain of smoke rose to the top of the sky trying to make contact with the clouds.

Ordering Hotaru to stay where she is, he runs to catch up with you, disobeying. In a matter of seconds, he stops abruptly about to come out of the trees, almost falling to the ground.

The burning mansion is reflected in his wide eyes.

With the heat of the fire fully on your face, you grunt as you kick the head of the man who wanted to attacked you with a scythe, falling into the flames that have already reached the ceiling, creaking and threatening to fall while a couple of maids run outside screaming.

The sparks of fire dance around you, splashing like water of the sea when it hits the shore. A sea of ​​fire consuming everything in its path. The ceiling creaks again, and your mind wants to tell you something, it whispers words that are now incomprehensible.

Déjà vu.

Shaking your head, you begin to move forward to look for an exit to get out of here with Sho once and for all.

But a voice stops you in your tracks.

"You went to a lot of trouble for a simple body, huh?"

Naoya thinks that it´s a wonderful thing that you don´t turn around. A perfect position to receive a precious knife in the back, as it should be. On the other hand, you are not far from feeling something similar. The ring in his voice are the perfect fuel to make you lose your sanity.

Nothing happens if you kill him here and now, right? Would it take you a long time? Are you underestimating him too much? Maybe you did. In a brief second, he manages to graze the ends of your hair with a knife.

The sweet vanilla and burnt wood tickles his nose. Biting his tongue when he manages to get closer, reluctant to be surprised when you´re already six steps further away from him. And without even having turned to face him.

Playing with the blade in his hands, he takes a step to you and states. "I'll bring you down to your knees"

It all happened in a nanosecond.

Naoya holds the knife by the end about to throw it at you at lethal speed when part of the ceiling collapses. The only thing he was able to see before the dark flames grew bigger making part of the infrastructure falls between you, was a hint of what he swore were a pair of darkening, yet bright eyes like the Gioiello galaxy.

With that color in his head, he passes through the curtain of fire intact, but the woman is no longer there.

The cold wind on your face was like sinking into a bucket of ice water. Your back soaked in sweat causes your top under your jacket to stick to your back.

Kaen, who has little time to try to deal with the swirl of emotions to see you come in one piece with a bulge on your shoulders, approaches to receive it carefully, admiring how your previously soft and put together hair was now a bit messy, and your face that was clean and fresh is now red, stained with blood and soot.

“A- Airi-Sama?”

“Run, I´ll send Kagemai”

With the melody still tearing your eardrums, you appear on the roof of part of the mansion that has not yet been consumed by fire. The moon bathing you with its brightness witnessing your determination, while the birds takes flight away from the trees portending another disaster.

Raising your arm, your fingers intertwine in a delicate mudra, while a few words come out of your mouth in a soft chant, making the tall trees creak and fall not far away from you, the earth shaking.

Shion, red as blood and almost as ferocious and large as Meiyoku, it emerges amidst fading black swirls of energy, revealing itself. Bowing its head to you allowing you to climb. The smoke and fire is so much that no one can make out the silhouette on the beast, which straightens its long, thick neck to roar towards the sky before spitting fire towards the mansion.

The flare so powerful that it reaches the trees behind it, fanning them with the strong flapping of its wings as it takes flight.

“Fuck”

When Naoya surrounds what´s left of the mansion with his father, ignoring those who try to put out the fire, it´s already too late. There´s not much he can do anyway, that is why he curses at the sky that had turn reddish.

At the river, Hotaru and Kaen jump back when Kagemai, the most docile mount of the five appears out of nowhere, tilting its silver wing.

"Where's Airi-Sama"

"She said run and I did, let's go"

“Do you know how to ride it?” Hotaru fearfully settles on the beast's back when the look Kaen gives her tells him no. Holding on tightly to the saddle and Sho´s body as it propels itself into the sky.

Already several feet high, they both begin to look everywhere, looking for you. Clinging with their lives to the saddle when from the clouds above them, a red beast descends.

As does the rain.

When the first drops of rain hit the window of the medical wing, Shoko looks up at the sky that suddenly it’s illuminated by a lightning. Her eyes open wider, blinking several times at the silhouettes above the clouds before blending into the darkness of the coming storm.

Then, the roar of thunder came afterwards.

Chapter Text

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have – Lana Del Rey
Люди -инвалиды – Molchat Doma
Out of mind – Tove Lo
Bugambilia – Nasa Histoires
Beautiful Crime – Tamer
Dizzy – MISSIO
Shape of my heart – Sting
Beanie – Chezile
Forbidden Fruit – Minimal Schlager
Make Believe – The burned  
Surrender - Digital Daggers
Outrunning Karma – Alec Benjamin

May 17, 2006

Marital Status: Married

It´s him.

Married…

Your mind already imagines things, it overthinks them. The man in the photo has a severe appearance. Exudes status from every pore, handsome. Her type, you guess…

You close the folder quickly to put it in its place, disappearing from the large office. The caress of the spring wind on your face gives you the comfort you need when you appear in the patio, right next to a cherry tree, to which you cling as if a great black void opened beneath you. Your nails scratch the trunk, tempted to dig them in hard without worrying about ruining your soft manicure.

And suddenly, the wind is not enough. Your cheek rests against the tree, listen to the fierce beating of your heart against your ears, threatening to explode inside you. Your lips tremble, while your thoughts make your brow furrow. But you can't cry now, you can't let this fear come out, Utahime could appear at any moment.

You inhale and exhale deeply with your eyes closed, trying to stay standing without help from the cherry tree. As you separate your hand from it, a slight wave of wind moves the pink flowers and some loose strands of your hair. You look up, watching the soft movement of the branches, squeezing your eyes shut as a few petals fall on you, getting caught in your long locks.

This is one of the things you envy about the Kyoto school. Everywhere you look, there is a beautiful cherry tree, however in Tokyo, there are only two. Where in this season, you and Shoko enjoyed sitting under its shade and talking for hours, m aking you forget many things before the night came, only she´s not here now, and tonight would be one of those nights, where you won't be able to sleep very well, thinking and thinking. But you were pretty good at removing the arrow at once, the pain may be strong but short. That´s why you couldn´t stop, the arrow is already pierced in your chest and your hand gripped tightly on it.

And you knew you were closer to ripping it out when Utahime mentioned that she wanted to transfer permanently to Kyoto, and that she planned to do it this week. Without wasting time you asked her if she would like to travel accompanied, to which she excitedly agreed.

During those two hours of travel, she told you what she liked about Kyoto. She enjoys a more traditional feel, and although winter used to be colder than Tokyo, she enjoys its tranquility. Charmingly peaceful according to her words. She also told you that she would like to start teaching once graduated. To be honest, it was quite easy for you to imagine her as a teacher. She is kind, cute but impatient enough not to tolerate stupidity or disrespect. Then, Utahime asked you a question that took you by surprise.

"What would you like to do in the future?"

Flowers, books, fashion...

Fight.

"Maybe... I..."

You didn't know.

Utahime smiled, ignorant of the tightrope you walk every day, telling you that you still had enough time to think about it, cheering you up. And now you´re here, waiting for her, waiting to recover the air that remains in pause in your track when you see him.

Your lips remain parted. He's quite tall, almost as tall as Satoru, and just like in the photo, there's something about him that exudes respect, someone you wouldn't want to mess with. Like those men of huge corporate buildings who hang out for coffee with their colleagues. And it's so easy... so easy to imagine her walking hooked on his arm. Especially right now when someone comes up to him, making light markings adorn around his deep sapphire eyes that grow smaller when he smiles, so wide and bright that he seems like a completely different person. Y ou can´t take your eyes off his face, imagining other facets. Anger, calm, what does his laugh sounds like? You imagine a deep one. He looks like a person who would buy that type of beautiful ring to put on her finger, someone who would have a house in a quiet city like this, to rest after a long day of work, a calm and safe place to raise chil-...

Finally, you manage to suck in some air, but the dizziness has come anyway. Trembling, you watch the way he lights his cigarette. He has big hands that you can't help but imagine how they would be around a child's body to lift him into the air, making them laugh. Then the gold band of his finger shines and you quickly lower your gaze as if you were not worthy of seeing something like that.

Married.

“It´s done!” Utahime sings, jumping around with some papers in her hand, and you quickly turn to her when the men look in your direction.

 "Congratulations, Utahime."

The floor seems to get further away from the tightrope, and you won't be able to pull this arrow out at once, until June arrived.

You followed her.

"Inui Residence"

Your chest tightens.

Your heart crazy to free itself from such a small space.

It´s just like you imagined, something like you would see in movies. The house, huge and beautiful makes you imagine some pretty girl running down a long staircase to excitedly tell her parents that her date has already arrived, saying goodbye with a kiss on her father´s cheek before someone like Satoru would come pick her up in his fancy car, returning home with many shopping bags.

Your fingers squeeze your skirt tightly, anxious, overwhelmed. You could leave because ignorance gave you peace, ignorance is kinder to the heart but you needed this... you needed to know because your imagination was not being kind to you at all. Even if it hurts, it would end. You could continue with your life… could you? Things won't be much different, right? Except now you'd know, you'd know the real reason she's not coming home, you´ll see it with your own eyes.

At some point you told yourself that it would be fast, but this arrow that burns, that your hands were ready to pull, suddenly it begins to come off of your body on its own, slowly. And the pain won´t be numbed by the adrenaline that´s working like a pressure cooker on your fragile body.

You can't be discovered, you can't scream, you can't. Surrounded by red camellias, you can only wonder as you walk into the garden how long it will hurt, how long it will take for the wound to heal.

What will you do when you see her again? Will you see her again at home?

Through the large window, two children of no more than 6 years old each one came running up to the table. The little boy was taller, dark brown hair like the man walking behind them, whose hair is perfectly combed.

It´s him…

With this scenario he gives the impression of smelling like something woody and spicy, still too tough to wear something fresh. You can imagine the smell of coffee inside and something warm coming out of the oven in the evenings when you see him smiling like that. Making this entire house warm, making it a home. And when she appears next to him you wonder how this is possible? How does she play an important role in this home? How she can stand in front of you and then come back here and smile, be warm to them like you don't exist. What was it about you that she wasn't happy with, but was okay with this mini replica of yours? Doesn't that bother her? See that little girl and see you in her? Herself? What was it?

The man hangs up leaving the device on the table to take her hand before hugging her from behind, saying something in her ear making her blush. The tears barely allow you to see the intimate moment, showing you that you don't belong here. Especially when you spot the beautiful ring on her finger, making your soul rotten. And rotten as it is, you have no choice but to finally accept it.

You cover your mouth with both hands trying to muffle your sobs, because with your tears you have lost the battle. As if more arrows were going through your entire body, your muscles cannot keep you upright letting you fall to your knees and in a pathetic attempt to stabilize yourself, you hold on to the flowers, but those stems were just as fragile as you. Ignoring the pain that takes over your right hand you cling to the torn petals understanding that maybe you don´t belong anywhere, feeling the world around you so immense.

Suddenly, your left hand carries vibrations towards your head. You see little feet trying to run straight on the grass and a pair of hands trying to catch her. You shake your head, separating your hand from the grass as if it burned when you heard the girl's giggle, and hers… and now you know.

You know that you are completely alone.

Your eyes open heavily feeling a slight pain in your belly. Swallowing, the sting of the smoke remains latent in your throat while your lungs enjoy of clean air.

Closing your eyes again, you stretch out on the couch where you fell exhausted just a couple of hours ago, trying to ignore the pangs that becomes more intense as the minutes pass.

Pain.

One of your hands runs over one of your cheeks, rubbing gently some of the dried blood and a few traces of soot. Your fingers showing you that everything that happened was real. Clear flashes of flames, blows and blood takes place in your mind.

"Sho..."

Suddenly, your face twists into pain, forcing you to straighten up. Your period is almost here.

You lean forward with your hands resting on your belly, your forehead about to touch your knees until you freeze. Stopping brainstorm ideas to ease the pain of your menstruation when a draft of cold air moves a strand of hair brushing your nose. The oscillating movement raises warning signals in your brain pointing you towards the entrance.

The door is wide open.

Instinctively your eyes go to the pen by the window and like a spring you jump off the couch.

“Miruku!”

Looking back and forth you call for your bunny, and when he doesn't appear anywhere you rush to the door. Relief washes your soul like a balm to your anxiety when at the end of the hallway Miruku hops around near a decorative flower pot. Suddenly, the elevator indicates the doors will open and your bunny corners himself behind it. Remembering your state, you do the same near your door.

Long seconds pass before you look out again when you can't hear the door close, because indeed, the doors have not closed. Then something makes your skin crawls but you can´t describe it beyond that. The abrupt change in the environment is also felt by the rodent, who tries to make himself smaller against the wall and you can´t allow it. Confused and alert, you take long strides until you cradle him in your arms, turning towards the elevator. A wide-eyed woman looks at you, her face and neck stained with blood and soot making you gasp. The erratic beating of your heart could compete with Miruku´s after having been scared by your own reflection once the doors closed. Right away, the screen indicates that the elevator has gone one floor higher and then that it is going back down. Quickly, holding the bunny against your chest when begins to move desperately wanting to jump out of your arms to run, you manage to put him inside your leather coat rushing to your place before the doors open, suddenly feeling the hallway too long.  

Once at your door, you stand there waiting like in those horror games Satoru liked to play, where at any moment something will come running towards you. But just like the first time, the elevator doors open but don't close, and no one get out of there. Slowly, you step inside keeping a hand wide open over the small bulge in your coat protectively while you close the door, and as soon as you put the lock on as if that were going to save you from the fine line between paranoia and your instinct, something hits your door making you jump, gasping when you see the crimson of the knife that has just crossed your door almost grazing your forehead. Scared by what just happened and by the fact that you couldn't feel anything more than that.

No presence to identify, no presence you could describe.

Before the Katana finished taking shape in your hand, the pain is like a bucket of ice water. The pangs striking your belly turn your breathe raggedly, about to make you fall on your knees but you stay still like a small rodent being hunted by some big reptile, feeling that if you move something will happen. But the silence outside is unbearable, so without taking your eyes off the knife, your hand moves cautiously, placing it on the door.

"This is yours, Airi-Chan"

You don't remember how to breathe when you hear his voice.

It just can't be.

The slim silhouette moving nimbly down the hallway stabs the knife hard into the door before calmly walking to the elevator, as if he didn't care if a neighbor could leave.

"…" Frowning, and refusing to let your rodent son run to his fate, your keep him inside your coat and unlock the door, taking a few steps back as your hand already holds the katana, ready. Only the sound of your breathing is present and the rustle of your coat against Miruku's fur.

Positioning yourself to the side when nothing happens, you lean forward pushing the door open with your fingers, the weight of it making it slow and tortuous.

No one, just the handle of the knife next to the fisheye and...

The jingling of the fine gold piece reflects in your eyes like a shower of stars, or meteorites. With slimy, dark red spots on the chain and on the medallion engraved with your name.  

“This is for you, Airi-Chan”

But… why?

How?

Inevitably, you take a step forward looking down the hallway. Your eyes following the red footprints that go from the elevator to your door. With goosebumps, you place your foot on one side of the print, relieved and uneasy to see that they are the same size. "It's not him"

But again… why? How?

Who?

You turn your gaze to the necklace, still hearing his soothing voice through the vibrations that gives off. The katana fades away as your hand comes up about to grab the necklace, when suddenly, something seems to clean and illuminate the dark atmosphere. When you feel his warm breath near your ear, you just pretend not to notice his presence.

"Booh"

The edge of your katana grazes Satoru's hair as he managed to dodge the attack. “Hey! I already had a touch-up done a few days ago” He says with both hands on his wide open knees, quite comical.

Despite all these swirls of feelings, you convince yourself Satoru is a lesser evil right now.

Still you panic. In a quick movement you take the necklace hanging from the handle of the knife, squeezing the medallion tightly as if that way you could retain all the memories that are coming to your head in there. Flashes of laughter, blushes, and then the sound of something sharp, sobs, fire… make you want to let go.

Satoru whistles admiring the door, maybe pretending he didn´t see the jewel piece as he straightens up. "It seems like someone is angry with you, I wonder why would that be?"

“What are you doing he-“ As if your organs were exploding you finally fall to your knees hugging your belly. When you lean forward, Miruku takes the opportunity to jump out, hopping around staining his little paws.

It hurts… it hurts really bad.

"Hey what's going on?" Satoru quickly kneels next to you placing one of his hands on your back. You let your head fall as you shake your head. This isn´t what you need right now, not ever.

Not the concern on his voice.

"Fuck."

Satoru smirk, he´s never heard you curse before.

When you´re trying to get up, Satoru helps you by holding one of your arms while you lean on one of your knees. God only knows what would happen to him if he tried to hold your waist again. But then, something tugs at his pants.

Seeing the cute creature makes something expands inside his chest, taking him back years ago.

With you.

“And who´s this little fellow?” Satoru raises one leg separating Miruku from the floor, since his teeth are decisively hooked on his pants. On the other hand, you imagine the disaster that can occur if you put these two gremlins in the same room.

“My pet” You say trying to show zero emotion as you grab Miruku, who refuses to let go of Satoru's pants.

"I came for you so we could have breakfast and talk, but something tells me that your toast tends to burn."

You look up at Satoru as if he's grown another head. Breakfast? Talk? And then you realize his comment, putting a finger inside Miruku's mouth managing to release his pants. “I have nothing to talk about”

“Yaga says the opposite”

“For all I car-“

A scream.

"I think someone already saw the body."

“Body?”

“Of course, where do you think this is coming from?” The silver-haired points to the floor, then opens and closes your door looking at both sides. “And I believe this is the murder weapon.”

"Who?"

"The doorman of your building."

You frown more without understanding anything. Satoru notices your confusion, he is too, but perhaps less than you are. In his life Satoru has met people whose lives are constantly stepped on the heels by death, and you seem to be one of those. This is not a coincidence.

This is the second time there has been a murder on the same day you are around.

"How long have you been in?"

"In? Two minutes. Outside? Ten minutes maybe"

"Didn't you feel anything? Anyone?"

"No, just you"

You look at Satoru distrustful. A non-sorcerer perhaps? Why this person had your necklace? 

You swallow hard.

Your cramps are nothing compared to the overturning that your heart gives. Trying to ease the arrhythmia, you caress Miruku´s ears and paws. You'll have to give him a bath that's for sure.

Annoyed and scared, you click your tongue as without really meaning to, you let the vibrations into you, Miruku's body beginning to tremble, both witnesses of this being. You close your eyes tightly because you don't want to remember it again, see it. It makes you angry as it displeases you.

There are things that your brain can block to defend yourself but other times it can't.

Your throat feels extremely dry when you open your eyes, not being able to stop playing the image of this person picking up the necklace from the floor, with the sound of the refrigerator fan in the background. A pair of purple voids watching the medallion dance in front of his face and... Supreme Gremlin, who despite having his eyes blindfolded, you can perfectly feel how he doesn't take his eyes off you.

“What?”

"I thought you could tell me."

You try to remain poker face but he makes a face, managing to put you on the defensive.

 “So… didn't anything happen before I arrived? I mean, after this morning mess?” Satoru dares to run his thumb over your chin tenderly where one of the many stain of soot gives away your visit to the Zenin. Instinctively you lean back without saying anything, but silence grants.

“I didn´t kill that man” You´re telling the truth, but this is not what he means. You´ll play dumb and innocent to the very end, trying to control this urge to react like a wild animal whose tail is burning and kick him out of here.

“Who was it then?”

"How would I know?"

"Well, there you have the knife and that stupid necklace, do your thing" Satoru moves his fingers like a magician doing tricks for children, obviously trying to get some reaction out of you.

“It's not my job to solve crimes for the rest anymore”

“…”

That sounded less bitter in your head, but you hope it hurt him anyways.

Does it hurts?

Satoru remains silent, but only lasted a few seconds, making what you said sound like something silly. “Someone killed an old man and happened to come to store the weapon at your door, right at yours. Doesn't it worry you at all?"

A lump forms in your throat, passing hard when the police sirens are heard outside. Plus, this naturalness of his bothers you, and you don't want him involved in your affairs, Yaga, nor anyone from the Jujutsu society. So while you try to think about a possible solution, the lock on one of your neighbor's doors clicks so quickly, you grab Satoru´s arm and push him into your apartment. As soon as you close the door you put Miruku down and grab your phone under the watchful gaze of the six eyes.

"What have you gotten yourself into?" He can only imagine. He doesn't think you'll open up to an answer, not now. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe never. Satoru supposes it’s okay, he deserve it after all, right? That's why you left.

"Be careful" You whisper before hanging up, wishing the call could be longer. But you must face this moment, and this uninvited visit. There's not much you can do. Just to say that you heard a loud bang on your door, that when you opened it your pet came out and dirty its paws with the blood.

And then he arrived.

That's the truth, that's what happened. But this is not a regular police case. Your heart races when you think about it.

That possibility...

It doesn't look good for you, although you can always run.

You always have.

You turn and see Satoru sitting in the single armchair, silent. That feeling he had when he knew that you finally had a pet bunny settled in his chest again when he sees the large bookcase, of course, full of books. And on another shelf, a modern record player and a pile of vinyl records.

He wonders if you also have flowers on your terrace.

“What were you doing here?”

“You just kidnapped me.”

“Stop it, this is serious”

“I bet” He says in a laugh while mockingly points towards the door.

You can´t do this.

"It won't be the end of the world, Airi”

“What?” His comment leaves you on the edge of a cliff, suddenly feeling strange at the reality that you have him in front of you, sitting in your armchair, in your apartment. Your home.

“What´s going on?”

“…”

“Who´s angry with you?”

Angry, numb, confused… you bite your tongue, and repress it. Repress that urge to ask questions, repress this part of your heart and mind that wants to hear the answers. This person in front of you who without any shame acts normally, waiting for you to tell him all your secrets really waits for you to open up to him? You don´t want to. Whether he is sincere or not, you really don't expect anything, just that he doesn't look at you, that he doesn't know anything about you.

It's better this way.

It´s better for you.

When no words come out of your mouth and you're not even looking at him anymore, he changes the topic a little resigned. “What about your pains?”

You don´t feel like explaining your Eve´s syndrome. “Just cramps”

Satoru ends up perplexed, by how clear you make it that you are not willing to answer about the dangerous matter, because that was a quick answer. He just stares at your belly with the same expression. "Oh... It must hurt a lot"

Dah…

You sharpen your gaze almost in a murderous way, but he just stand up from his seat, obviously smiling by it. "I'll make you a cup of tea"

"I don’t want tea”

“Yogurt?”

“I want you to tell me why you came… and then I want you to leave”

“I´m just doing my job”

Ouch.

“And what´s your fucking job?”

“You better take a shower and put some soap in that mouth of yours, Miss” Satoru crosses his arms over his chest. “If someone sees you like this…"

Knock Knock

He smiles and raises his eyebrows. "You better hurry"

Your eyes erratically dart from him to the door and back again. And you can see, much to your dismay, that bright and calm blue. You know you can trust him.

You clench your jaw, keeping your statement “I´m telling the truth, Satoru"

The seconds are eternal after hearing another knock on the door when he doesn´t answer right away. Hoping that calling him by his name could touch a soft spot.

"I believe you"

ʚ ♡ ɞ

“The cameras stopped working at four in the morning. There are no previous reports of camera failures so maybe the place was studied, just as happened in Tokyo.”

This time, he lets the smoke sit longer than usual in his lungs before exhaling it.

The young man standing next to the corpse just looks at his superior, noticing the tired expression on his face, and how he ignores him. “You can´t smoke here, Sir”

“My bad”

With slow steps he passes under the yellow tape over the entrance, admiring all the people begin to gather outside the building while finishes smoking. His subordinate's voice starting to bother him along with the oncoming headache.

"Well... it's not a girl, it doesn't follow the pattern but…"

“But the aggressiveness is the same" He runs a hand over his eyes, squeezing the bridge of his nose. It’s too early for his head to hurt like this. “Any weapons?”  

The young subordinate admires the tall figure of the detective, pursing his lips anxiously. Something unusual for him, but by the casual way his superior asks, it's obvious he didn't expect to find something today. What every day is like an iron fortress, now feels like a weak wall about to collapse.

He's sorry for having to answer. "Yes sir"

The detective moves his neck uncomfortably before taking a deep drag on his cigarette, and a chill runs down his spine. “Where?”

“Last floor.”

He looks at the top of the building, the smoke he exhales is long, slow, heavy.

The situation got out of his hands, he failed.

He failed to protect him.

There´s no redemption, so a part of his strength will be for his daughter, and the other remain… for him. He only hopes that after that inevitable end, he can survive all the days to come without that other piece of his heart missing.

ʚ ♡ ɞ

You pass your hand through the fogged mirror, seeing your now clean reflection. No irritated eyes thanks to the fire, nor unpleasant stains on your skin.

Despite the new voices in your living room you take your time in your routine, ignoring the necklace soaking in reddish water and soap in the sink.
When you finish blow-drying your hair and treating your skin to go to pick an outfit, one of your fingers gently runs along the corner of your lips. There were cards to dust off that you hadn't used for your deck, but now it´s time.

It must work.

Reaching for a thin gold choker in your closet, you finish your look with a black silk shirt that you love, a pair of dark jeans and a black waist-fitted blazer you took from your one of the hangers, as if your world isn't about to be shaken in the next few minutes.

And you can feel it... Oblivious to everything beautiful that necklace once meant. In the bathroom for the last time, you grab the gold chain before throwing away the dirty water. These vibrations, could be describe as something volatile... sharp against your nostrils, making all your vital functions go numb, until without realizing it your soul is torn from your body. And with the right substance it could become something explosive.

You can´t stop them from entering your body, as if someone was forcing you to take this lethal poison, that you imagine it’s a thick, black liquid running down your throat, burning everything in its path until it reaches your stomach. Each dark molecule passing through every cell in your body contaminating your bloodstream. Accepting that what you left behind believing that it had no feet, managed to reach you anyways, creeping weakly until it evolved and transformed into something wicked.

While you clean your hands and dry the necklace to put it in your pocket, you think about your own father. What used to lie dormant in the back of your mind, now it´s in front. It is not difficult to imagine, to empathize. If you were a loving mother… or a loving father, would you do the same?

A message from Kaen letting you know that he has arrived makes your phone vibrate. When you pick it up you feel that something is missing. Turning your hand you admiring your fingers, the dark cherry manicure begs for something bright and exquisite.

Your engagement ring.

It could be a hard blow for someone who is compassionate, or a soft blow for someone who is not. You imagine it will be a soft blow for him, so you finally walk to the nightstand taking the piece out of its fine box and putting it on your finger. Then, you take a sit in front of your vanity table, determined to give a hard blow.

ʚ ♡ ɞ

"How much longer is she going to take?"

"Oh, if you saw her you would understand why she takes so long, she has hair that you are dying to touch." Satoru says as he pulls his head back dramatically, swirling a strand of silver hair around his finger while Miruku rest on his lap and start chewing his expensive coat. “Hey don´t do tha- Huh? Where are your beans?" Taking Miruku's paws, he rubs his thumbs over them impressed trying to find some squishy and soft beans.

"Rabbits don't have toe beans"

“Really? Why wouldn´t they have toe bea-“

Where did your sensual, magnetic, hypnotic renaissance hair go?

Satoru and the young detective in front of him remain static staring at you, both for different reasons. One is pale and serious as if he had seen a ghost and the other thanking heaven for having blessed eyes that now admire tremendous vampiress.

Where the six-eyes had known voluminous wavy hair, it was now completely straight, just like Shoko´s.

“You must be from the police?”

 “Isamu, Detective Isamu Adachi” He introduces himself after clearing his throat. “Yours, Miss?”

“Airi Mizuki”

“Mizuki…?” The young detective's gaze is discerning on you. You are a true painting, if you blinked he wouldn't notice it.

“It’s everything alright?”

“I don´t know” Satoru comes forward putting the bunny on the floor and stands behind this snooper. "Detective Adachi didn´t want to tell me which police station he´s from"

The atmosphere is a little tense, but you feel almost out of it. You don't know what Satoru said while you were getting ready.  “It´s that so?”

"I'm one of the detectives in charge, we're asking all the neighbors a couple of questions, would you mind?"

"What police station are you from?" Satoru insist, and then…

“From any”

You startle when Satoru's back is right in front of you, as does the voice at the door. His perfume came warm and full, now mixing with some expensive tobacco beginning to surround the place.

You can hear his slow and firm steps behind Satoru, annoyed to notice that he hasn't bothered to take off his shoes. Not because of the stupid floor, but because you know that he´s aware of his action, and he doesn't care.

Suddenly, Satoru seems to lean back, making you step back. You look up, admiring how the bare winter light falls on the back of his head. And as if the moment were ideal, you dare to inspect him better. From his height to the new undercut of his silver hair, from his broad shoulder to his big hands. His whole body… protecting you?

“Satoru Gojo?” 

“Live and direct”

You hear a chuckle from the man, then his deep voice again. “What brings you here, boy?”

“I was about to ask the same”

“I came here to do my job of course, and to ask a couple of questions to... the other victim behind you, come forward dear, no one will harm you."

The air leaves your lungs and remains halfway. That sounded like when you're alone at night until a stranger shows up wanting to get closer, telling you that such a pretty girl shouldn't be alone late at night, making it clear that he is the danger.

You had thought you were ready, to give him the hard blow. You knew it wouldn't be easy when the time came but you're getting more overwhelmed than you expected. It was so much, so much that you felt the urge to take Satoru's hand and squeeze it, and… now his hand was over yours.

Big and warm.

Squeezing hard and protectively.

"You know, my fiancee is still a little nervous about what happened, why don't you come back later?"

Suddenly that stuck air seems to turn into gas and all you want to do is spit fire at him, but you just bury your nails into his skin slowly, gradually applying pressure waiting for him to let go.

"Fiancee?”

Detective Adachi sweats a little at such a revelation, while his superior stays silent this time.

"That´s right, just look at her beautiful hand” Satoru passes your hand holding onto his under his arm, but he didn't wait for you to take a step to his side, showing yourself. Yaga will surely kill him, but he has no choice but to just witnessing what would happen now, feeling cold when you remove your hand from his.

Your eyes were closed but you can feel their piercing gazes on you. The devastating silence proves it to you but you don´t let yourself fear any longer and open your eyes, looking right at the tall dark-hair man with a few grays, noticing how his chest rises inhaling deeply, holding his breath. His eyes previously dull were now attentive and awake, just like Detective Isamu did. As if he had seen a ghost, but instead of being scared, his deep sapphire stones, as deep as the navy blue of his thick coat, shine with nostalgia and something else that the rest can't describe… but you do.

Defeated.

There´s the hard blow.

He´s tired... almost empty, like a warrior who after having managed to win the long battle after so many adversities, does not feel fulfilled. And you admit that with this victory, you´re ashamed.

“Cousin!”

Kaen, taking off his shoes before running to your side to take your hands, gives your mind a break for a slight moment when his body blocks your sight.

“I´m fine”

"Mizuki-san, this is my superior. Detective Keizuke Inui”

Inui Residence.

"Miss Mizuki, Master Tengen has told me a lot about you"

Numb by the memory but completely defensive by the current situation you remain silent, gathering the strength to stay composed. Feeling again all the weight of being the person who left windows and doors of his home open, letting in a hurricane. But you don´t give him fake courtesy, fake smiles to play dumb, no nothing. On the other hand, Satoru pays strict attention at your energy changes, your stoic countenance and your fingers intertwined behind your back.

"Just like he said, you're a book eater." He walks with the intention of reaching the large shelf of books. Your foot about to take a step as a reflex while your hands start shaking once you spot The secret garden book, but the detective stops in his tracks when Kaen gets in his way competing with his boldness.

Soft, silent and long, you exhale with relief.

“What is it, son?” Detective Inui looks at your cousin like a small child who was caught throwing a tantrum when he shouldn't have. Luckily for him, it's not Homura who´s here dealing with the moment, who would gladly teach him how to properly correct a tantrum. He would have cut off his feet with his shoes on and leave them at the entrance.

So devoted.

"Sir, you can take off your shoes or we can take this conversation outside"

The silence that follows could make the lights flicker, even though Kaen is smiling, with sharp fangs. But the detective cuts the tension by looking at his feet and feigning surprise. "Oh, what manners of mine" then, he gives you a fleeting glance before turning around to take off his shoes, understanding that of course, he´s not willing to leave. “Miss, my apologies. So! What was I saying?”

Brushing Kaen's shoulder, he walks to your side looking out the window. Not looking at the sky or at the flashy lights on the rest of the buildings. Perhaps his own reflection, but Satoru doesn't move an inch from where he is.

“That´s it. Tengen. He told me you had this peculiar ability... of being able to see what happened in a place by just touching an object, no matter where or when" With a slight smile, he looks at you from the corner of his eye. “It´s a technique to envy”

About to roll your eyes, Satoru finally puts his big mouth to good use. “Get out of my fiancee's apartment if you won't do your job.”

“We have someone with something similar, perhaps you can be of help in this case we´re working on"

Satoru lets out a goofy laugh, his fingers tickling to get into position and release a purple for being ignored. On the other hand, you bite your tongue at what he says. You remember the cold touch of his hands enclosing yours while you trembled under Yaga's tired and serious gaze in that village as if it were yesterday, but it was almost ten years ago.

And it's true, that technique and yours together are the perfect complement for jobs like these, like your last job, but just like you told Satoru…

“I don´t work for the Jujutsu Society”

“Right, you never graduated, is that correct?” Faking, the detective puts his hand on his chin, frowning as if he wants to remember something.

"I have made it clear that I do-"

“You drooped out Jujutsu” He interrupts. You just clench your jaw to recognize his intention to enter dangerous details.

“Was it after a huge incident, I believe. Isamu, what was the name of this curse user?” He almost sings, tapping his chin with his index.

Satoru resents the nerve spot the detective has hit. Not only the deep wound Suguru left in both of you, sutured with just a single thread that now was pulled away without any delicacy and begins to bleed again.

It was all that avalanche that came to crush them after his departure.

The aftermath.

The atmosphere begins to be unbearable for you.

You work miracles by managing to maintain your composure, not clenching your fists, not frowning, not kicking him out of here. That almost taboo subject for you cannot be used by someone like him as a weapon against you, much less with Satoru being here. And for a brief second, this unlocked memory in both of you, he searches it your eyes but you can't do the same with him, because as always, there´s that barrier between the two of you.

"We don't have as much free time as you, I'm afraid. So if you have your questions ready about this clearly misguided psychopath who killed someone... innocent, you can start now."

“Sassy”

Satoru and Adachi share the same face and thought. Seeing this duel of glances that Detective Inui seems to begin to lose. You no longer have your stoic gaze forward but face to face with the man next to you, who seems to be doing everything possible not to give in to something that everyone is ignorant about, except for him.

Of you.

Memory is a cruel thing.

He could perfectly imagine her laugh coming out of your mouth, how soft her straight hair was on his fingers when he sees yours, the dimples of her daughter's cheeks on yours, or yours on hers.

Definitely, the world is so small.

Flash!

With Miruku on your lap, you watch the more than five men outside your apartment, measuring footprints, taking photographs and finally someone taking the knife from your door. But the hole that's left there threatening your privacy as maintenance takes a while to send someone to fix it isn't what has you restless in your seat.

Gray and clear like a cloudy day in spring against a bright summer sky giving color to the ocean.

No lines creasing his forehead in anger.

No trace of sadness and rage in his eyes.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!?!

Satoru, now with his eyes uncovered sitting next to you, stopped paying attention to his cup of tea, leaving it on the coffee table and beginning to caress Miruku's fur, purposely brushing his hand with yours, but he doesn't take his eyes off the man perfectly positioned in the hallway. Dressed completely in black, his light hair and pale skin stand out like a reflection of light in a mirror. And like an eagle soaring in the skies, it stalks its prey with those eyes, sagacious and stealthily monitoring your entire system. A bright red, something electric pricking his skin then to a dark almost poisonous purple trying to scare him away.

"She's nervous"

"She remembers you, Takuma."

“Sir, you can't smoke here either."

The detective makes a grumbling face, reluctantly putting away his cigarette case. “Why don't you come in again and-”

“I don't like dogs." The young subordinate says, seeing Kaen right behind you with his arms crossed, while comical little fang sticking out of his mouth, and those pair of blue´s over him. "Plus, she's not the only one who remembers me”

"We don't need an order or any paperwork, I remind you"

 
"We don't have a chance right now, if she touched something I can't force her to tell us what she saw, she already said she didn´t”

“Then she´s lying”

“Not necessarily” Takuma thinks that maybe if you were alone it would be another story, because you´re with Satoru Gojo.

“You believe her?”

“…”

“Me neither” Pursing his lips imagining the cigarette he wants to smoke so badly, he rejoices a little with the truth.

It hurts, yes.

But he feels a weight less on his shoulders.

Although it would have been perfect for him if you had agreed to let Takuma question you. This way he would know if you were lying or not, even though he knows.

Because he knows.

"Everything is ready sir" Another of his subordinates approaches to give the report, leaving with the rest of the team when Detective Inui orders him to do so.

“Adachi-Kun, come here for a second”

“Sir?”

Encouragingly, he puts his hand on Adachi's shoulder giving a friendly squeeze. "It seems that Miss Mizuki really likes books, why don't you ask her if she recommends any”

Adachi frowns a little, confused, looking at his hand when he feels a small paper being slipped into it.

"What a disgusting old man” Satoru gets more comfortable on the chair, giving up when Miruku no longer give him any more attention, jumping off to go to his pen. “I bet he was jealous that you were by my side, he would like to marry me"

"Bet he does" Kaen says rolling his eyes.

A slight sound comes out of your mouth.

It was very natural, perhaps the nerves and tension looked for a way to defend you and help to release it.

It was just a little laugh.

Satoru doesn't have much time to enjoy it when Adachi knocks on the door, and then…

He takes off his shoes.

“Mizuki-San” Adachi bows, leaving everyone puzzled. "I apologize for the attitude of our superior”

"Apology denied, now get out."

Thank you, Kaen.

Hiding the grimace you make with your mouth between your knuckles, you meditate on how you never thought this day would come, where you would rather be locked up here with Satoru than spend one more second with these detectives. 

“I´m really sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but...Mizuki-San, could I have a word? Please?” Sweating profusely, he becomes smaller and smaller each second before both ominous silhouettes growing larger over him.

"And what could it possibly be about?"

"Do you also want to marry me? How shameless all of you are."

You rub your temple because this is positively painful.

The cramps are intense and you can't wait for this whole day to be over, even though you have to worry about the next one, and the others to come.

You stifle the exasperated sigh in your chest, daring once again to look down the hallway. Those gray eyes are still on you, resting his hands inside his pockets, calm as always.

Perceptive as always.

“Sure, close the door”

"Huh?" In unison, Satoru and Kaen turn to you.

“Excuse me?” Adachi looks at you as if you've spoken in a language he can't understand. His eyes big and attentive like a puppy trying to identify a sound.

How cute, they sent the most docile one.

“You can come in, close the door”

Nervous and hesitant, he glances at everyone in the living room as he approaches the door as if he's not sure he heard correctly.

“Oh sorry, I meant those two, you can wait outside”

“What!?”

Patting the empty spot next to you on the couch, you invite him to sit. “Come, come”

Gentle, your lips curve into a light smile, so light that others don't know if it's really there. Sharpening your gaze when Kaen doesn't move. A little reluctant, he obeys, dragging Satoru with him. And by the time he closes the door, you can see Takuma's contorted face, making your smile a little wider.

"So...what is it?"

Adachi steps forward without being intimidated, if that's what you plan to do. But beyond your request to have the conversation behind closed doors, he doesn't sense any hint of danger, much less with the bunny hopping around. Jumping onto the couch, he watches as the rodent tries to bite the sleeve of your blazer. Avoiding it, you place him on your lap, beginning to caress his drooping ears, they must be very soft.

"Do you like bunnies?"

"Eh... I've never had a chance to pet one."

"Now you can" Your fingers grip gently the tips of Miruku's ears, raising one while lowering the other, up and down, up and down.

Adachi sees the gentle movement that doesn't stop in silence, not really knowing how to start saying what he wants to say. Suddenly, he sees the rodent's bright little brown eyes, deep and... are they brown or black? He wonders, ignoring his little nose twitching adorably.

"Are you scared?"

"What?"

"Sometimes people's subconscious associate them with bigger mice and that makes them nervous, they get scared."

Oh, sure, bunnies…

“Well, I-“ Suddenly, one of your hands stops playing with the animal's ears, leaving one resting on your fingers, offering it to him.

"Come"

Adachi swallows hard, not knowing how to refuse the adorable offer. He doesn't want to reject it.

Wait… he doesn't want to? Suddenly kneeling next to you, his fingers cup the bunny's ear, sliding easily over the warm fur. "How soft"

"Right?"

Clearing his throat, he stands up quickly with his eyes closed. He´s afraid if he opened them he would blush more. "Mizuki-san, I couldn't help but notice your bookcase before Detective Adachi confirmed that you really enjoy reading, so was wondering if..."

It was a mistake.

But he hasn't realized it yet.

Adachi opened his eyes crashing into yours.

His older brother is an astronomer. He has lived in Chile for several years and often sends photos and videos of the northern skies. He had sworn that… there could never be anything like it in life. He had seen the most pristine and clear skies in those photos, thousands of stars illuminating the sky, decorating the purple galaxies but your eyes were the closest thing to that.

Many fear the night, the darkness... but how could you fear when the Milky Way above you is reflected in your eyes? Your irises are like nebulae, purple and bright as if thousands of amethyst stones exploded into dust, spreading out adorning the space sky.

He remembers that when he was little, his brother explained why sound could not propagate in outer space. There is no medium that transmits those vibrations that produce them, so how is it that in this luminous void he can hear this luring echo?

A…

His feet no longer touch the ground, feeling how gravity disappears.

Adach-

Had he ever heard such a beautiful voice before? Adachi can´t remember.

Adachi-Kun…

Is this what it sounds like when you enter paradise? So ethereal.

“Adachi-Kun?”

His eyelashes flutter many times, recognizing the faces around him. His superior and Takuma watching him with slight frowns.

The boring cold light of the hallway makes him squint for a moment. There's something vague in the back of his mind just fading away, a sound... deep colors fading until they disappear.

What just happened?

"The truth is that it's not my favorite, but you can return it when we meet again"

"A… again?"

Adachi turns in your direction wondering when they left your apartment. Satoru makes a face, like a child witnesses the scolding of another and Kaen looks him up and down disapprovingly.

Suddenly, it dawns on him that his trembling fingers are holding something against his palms. The young girl looks back at him with a pair of dark eyes peering out of heart-shaped sunglasses, carmine like the lipstick and lollipop on her lips.

LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov

While Adachi suffers from all the blood that has gone to his cheeks, you point your head towards the hole in the door, holding Miruki against your chest. "Of course. Unfortunately in my field we also see cases like this, I dare to assume that this was not something random"

“There is always the possibility that it was something random.” Takuma, balances on his feet back and forward. You know this little ritual of his, when he´s not satisfied with something but he doesn't want to be pushy, when he receives a no for answer.

He gazes at Miruku, your hands.

There were not many sorcerers who were able to master mental techniques.

The human mind is one of the most fragile and difficult things to understand, to handle, even for someone with a profession like yours. For you, it may be a piece of cake but it had a disadvantage, although it was almost impossible for that situation to arise, the odds were higher outside of Japan, since there is not a high percentage of curses or sorcerers.

All human beings, sorcerers or not, have energy, are energy, in some way but, cursed energy was the fuel to start your technique, and that of the rest. If there is no residual cursed energy in a place or object, it will be impossible for you to see anything, there would be no way to make a connection.

There are many variations of this technique, yours is a little more... isolated. Not like Renji's for example, you wouldn't be surprised if he could make a connection with a fly. On the other hand, there are also others who are in the middle of this fine line.

With your eyes fixed on Takuma's, without giving in you tell him. "I´ll wait for the resolution of the case then"

R igid silence.

Takuma and Adachi make way for their Superior, and for the first time, you are both face to face. No disdainful glances from the corner of the eye, nor trying to be intimidating towards the other.

Just being what each one was.

A vindictive leader and a loving father.

Each one like a wall that is not going to collapse in the face of anything, or anyone...

In anger, sadness, frustration, helplessness... things are said but they cannot be heard. A fire in your eyes that the detective somehow knows he couldn't fight and a sea storm in his that will make you crash against the rocks.

And against all odds, the detective turns around walking away. Only then when you see his back in the distance is that you allow yourself to blink. Your eyes sting from it, or perhaps from a muffled cry of rage.

Before everyone expectant, Takuma´s lips tighten, as if he wanted to say something other than what is coming out of his mouth. "It would end pretty quickly"

You would like to tell him it's not your problem, but it is.

"I have nothing in my hands to cooperate with”

Takuma raises his chin, not with arrogance, but as if asking for patience where there is none, because he knows he won't be able to convince you. “I understand” He wants to do that thing with his feet, but he doesn't. "See you soon, Airi-San”

Adachi´s still a bit dazed, curious about the intriguing familiarity his mysterious colleague has with you, but he must follow. He says goodbye politely, catching up with the others in the elevator with the book in his hand.

Only the people in charge of cleaning remain.

Finally, this morning is over.

"Airi-Sama?"

Cautiously, Kaen approaches to your side, confused like Satoru.

You believe you are too.

“It´s fine”

It´s not.

You enter your apartment followed by them, putting Miruku on the floor who hops towards the thick wooden furniture full of books, and something that hasn't happened in days happens.

The sky becomes clear.

The warm rays of sun come through the window, falling on your face and everything around you, wishing you could put them all in a hot water bottle to calm these fucking cramps, but they don´t stop you from reaching the bookcase to take The Secret Garden book firmly in your hands.

You need to sit down and eat something, since this “cordial confrontation” has left you shaking, uneasy. Because you know there is more to come and you can't do anything but face it and win, because otherwise, it wouldn't be fair, because it defines the future.

Your future.

“Kaen”

“Airi-Sama”

Leaning over you, you whisper something in his ear, too close for Satoru to be able to see how the small paper note passes from your hand to his.

Kaen sees the numbers on it before looking at the six eyes from the corner of the eye.

385

386

A cold war is looming.

ʚ ♡ ɞ

11:28pm, Tokyo

A woman.

Naoya looks at the traces of soot on his fingers while sitting in the car on the way to the hotel.

The smell of burnt wood was still present in what remained of the mansion and made his head ache. Or at least that's the cause he preferred the most.

He rest his elbow on the armrest, with his thumb against his lip staring into nothingness ignoring the cars, buildings and lights outside the window. Then, reluctantly, he closes his eyes trying to follow that annoyingly sweet scent that he swears he´s smelled before, he´s not sure. But it was simply… vanilla, right? Something else? Naoya had no idea if there´s even a word to describe it. Maybe something liquorous? Coffee? Something woody? Super sweet at first but it immediately changes to something almost masculine and intense.

Real intense.

Warm and floral, but not colorful flowers that bloom when they feel the sun's rays, but those that open their petals when night falls, receiving nothing but moonlight. And as if it were possible to want to take a bite of whatever smells like that, he squeezes his eyes trying to see where that smell takes him. His nose wrinkle even though the smell is actually pleasant. Naoya´s sure the image is there, somewhere inside his head but he can't see anything but that silhouette among the smoke and flames from last night. Silhouette that made him turn many times in bed, that put him in a bad mood and takes away his appetite.

There were many ways to start a fire but…

What if…?

"We're here, sir."

Without saying anything, the car door opens for him as the blinding lights of the large building bathe his grumpy face, suddenly feeling all the clothes he's wearing tight, suffocating himself with thoughts that he has no control over. And with every passing second, his frown deepens.

The same thing happens with his nose.

The intoxicating smell seems to poison his lungs, and he wants to take a bite. Tear at anything with his teeth until the smell transforms into a taste.

He can spit it out later.

"Forget this now! The boy is dead”

Before pressing the elevator button, he pauses, recognizing his cousin's voice. With his hands tucked into each sleeve, Naoya walks to the beautiful and almost empty dining room, his fingers brushing against each other feeling the annoying roughness of the soot on his skin. His blood boiling at the thought that the dark material could have been his own body, simple ash carried by the wind.

Nothingness itself.

“Fucking bitch…”

He spot the rather robust man with a scar on his forehead, arms crossed sitting in front of his father willing to drink something with them, anything but something sweet. But the direction of the conversation made him stay still, still against the wall so as not to be seen by them, his blood still hot, threatening to start burning his skin like it didn't last night.

"And what about the girl? That little bitch was spying on us with him all this time and she managed to run away!" Naobito slams his sake bottle against the table, shattering it. Then banging his fist on the table with each curse. “Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! How are we going to explain this? A cunt of a woman left us with a burned mansion in a single night!" Naobito growls again looking for something else to break.

“Say it was a candle… oh please, you´ll have a stroke if you keep this up." Jinichi hides his chuckle behind his cup when the veins of his uncle´s forehead are about to explode, but dies when the drunk man staggers to his feet.

"Damn it... it wasn't supposed to be like this." Refusing to accept it, to believe it, he curse furious. “Fuck! The owner of the curse mounts…”

“Don´t be dramatic, if it's like you think, you can't do anything about it, besides, you have no proof of anything, more than likely it's a man, she didn't enter the mansion alone, no one would be so stupid to do that."

“It had better be so, his seed will bear a child in some of our daughters, cousins, nieces, and whoever… whoever inherits the power will…”

Jinichi twists his mouth again, hoping for his uncle to collapse from alcohol so he wouldn't finish his sentence, without taking his eyes off the sinister figure of “the former heir” just a few feet away.

Jinichi purses his lips, suddenly looking more interested in his drink. In a kind gesture of pretending not to have heard what he heard, of not having seen Naoya witnessing to his father's word. Naoya, who… spent his whole life believing that his position as heir was assured, passing over his older brothers, since as he often says, he´s the only one worth bearing the Zenin name.

Naobito´s only true son, his only heir.

But now, this stranger… this unknown person who threatens their power in Jujutsu society crushes him, taking his place.

“It´s brilliant”

An eerie silence reigns for long seconds, so much so that even the moonlight in the sky wants to go out, to hide.

They both stare at Naobito standing there in complete silence, with strange and sudden calm, his mouth twisting into a strange smile and his eyes opening wide, reddish and awake, about to shed a tear as if he had had some kind of epiphany.

Then, he speaks again.

The statement makes the one about to be usurped feel something extremely hot burning inside him, hotter than last night fire.

“Will be my he-!”

"Father"

With ominous voice, Naoya makes his way into the dining room, and it's as if at any moment the earth would start to shake, looking at his stupid father just like a snake about to lunge towards his prey that is still in a corner.

A man... Naoya knows that he is not going to be replaced by his father with a woman, it´s not the order of things, it´s not the Zenin way.

And that it´s exactly what was keeping him awake at nights.

A vague memory of last night hits his mind.

Right before the wood of the ceiling fell between him and that silhouette between the smoke and the screams.

Those eyes.

He doesn´t smile at first, angry at the possibility.

Angry of having missed the chance to put his hands around her neck.

A woman… it could be then?

It´s not the order of things but is a twisted and pleasurable advantage. That which Naobito feared, that which Naoya could not understand, that which Naoya could not see anything but the goal, nor the risks nor the great setbacks on the long road that would be trying to achieve what he wants.

His mind is racing and the muscles in his face begin to tickle really hard. A dark sparkle emerges in his eyes and finally he does...

A woman.

Naoya smiles… because indeed, his father is right.

The idea it’s brilliant.

Marriott Miyako Hotel, Osaka
11:50pm

Tsubaki Aoki
Disappeared on September 17, 2007

"Aoki? Who´s this?"

In the dim light of his room next to the fireplace, Satoru quickly rereads the document in his hands.

"This is part of a police file that was closed a couple of years ago.” Mei Mei´s voice is like a soft purr but as she keeps talking it becomes more like the hiss of a snake, snake that rattles when the photo is extended towards him, leaving him breathless when he sees the women in it. “Tsubaki Aoki is Airi´s mother”

Bright amethyst stones just like yours looks back at him, and straight brown hair falling down her shoulders, just like yours this morning keeps him hypnotized. It's like seeing you no matter what angle he looks from.

“She disappeared the same day Suguru had his last mission in 2007, right after those events our beloved Airi left... Such a coincidence, isn´t it?"

Your mother disappeared? Right before Suguru´s defection?

Perhaps Suguru…? Did he? Your mother wasn´t a sorceress then? As Satoru´s mind begins to race, his eyes land on various parts of the room trying to focus, until they land on Mei Mei's eyes, darker and vain, realizing that his thoughts aren't going in the direction she wants to guide him.

“No”

Satoru isn't reaffirming the stupidity she just said, he's denying it, he's refusing.

Those were just speculations.

Your departure reasons could have been just one or several, he has no right to say that he knows them but you leaving with him was not one of them.

Right?

Taking into account the known circumstances, Tengen enrolled you in school to keep you safe and if then he allowed you to leave, it was because the place was no longer safe for you.

That´s it, so he states. "She´s got nothing to do with Suguru Geto"

Anyone who listens to him would say he sounds unfazed but Mei Mei who´d like to say that she knows him indeed, would say that he´s irritated at such suggestion.

This unnerved her but it still amuses her.

“There´s no need to be right next to him to work for him.” Mei Mei crosses her legs looking right at Satoru´s eyes, not smiling at all. “She treats people with poor mental stability every single day, what better way than to recruit sorcerers that are easy to manipulate for him?"

Satoru tries to keep a poker face.

He´s always been aware of the sheer pleasure Mei Mei gets by bothering you, besides her trying to get into his pants, pockets and all, but even now that she just wants to throw dirt at you, he admits she has a point, even though that may have sounded extremely offensive.

This theory is not something he´s going to ignore, but Satoru doesn´t want Mei Mei involved in this anymore.

Back then, Satoru never believed Suguru had planned something like what he did.

He understood that his best friend had just… had enough. He was about to do something similar after Riko's death but still, selfishly later he dared to believed it was something that could be avoided, so when he found out that you had also been assigned for that mission and you didn't attend… he exploded.

Those rumors he heard, stupid and ill-intentioned rumors that took root inside him, served as gasoline for his anger, uncertainty and many other things that should not have been directed at you that day, nor any other. And Satoru admits that... he hesitated for a moment that day, he really did but in the end he believed in Yaga's words, and he still believe in them today.

“Wasn't Geto at that fancy party too?”

"What does this have to do with what I asked you?"

"How impatient." The woman stares at the fireplace trying to be suggestive with her words. "Nobody was able to find a single trace of Aoki Tsubaki, it's as if the earth had swallowed her. People say it was a curse that killed her" Mei Mei looks just enough to connect with Satoru's exquisite eyes again, admiring the way his hair falls loosely across his forehead hoping he gets to connect the dots, smiling noticeably when she thinks he's already done it, by the way his gaze sharpens, disgusted.

“Did the Zenin kill her mother?” he asks feeling a lump forming in his throat while Mei Mei kept smiling with her lips, and now she does it with her eyes too. Her gaze has a charming edge but there is no good in it.

“She´s a Zenin as well, Gojo”

You´re a Zenin as well.

Slowly, Satoru leans all his weight on the elegant chair wondering… Why? And as if Mei Mei had read his mind, she proceeds to go deeper. "We know the higher up´s doesn't want someone of her caliber running around loose without a leash that belongs to them. And it's not like they need a justification to do whatever they want, but to proceed in a civilized manner, it seems to me they´ll use everything they can to frame her for any crime, even if she´s not directly involved.” Pouting, she looks at her nails, enjoying the warm of the fireplace and continues. “The poor thing is cornered, this is why it´s a good thing you know this before they do. Maybe you can do something about it and help her”

“For once in your life” She wanted to say, to stab him with a psychological dagger so that he bleeds, thus perhaps have the satisfaction of provoking something in him, but she can´t. Only some divine entity knows what would happen to her if she said it. All she does is making herself more comfortable in the expensive furniture, feeling the freezing silence from him.

Expectant.

She wants to roll her eyes sooooo badly. Instead, Mei Mei just points her head at the rest of papers inside the black folder, there resting on his lap. Satoru, annoyed by how exciting she is with all the suspense she´s putting into the matter, opens the folder not expecting to see that detective's face again.

"It's a little scary, you know? How small this world can be” She sighs. “The detective you all are worrying about and rightly so… is her mother's husband”

At this point, Satoru can´t fake it anymore. The sorceress resists the urge to widen her smile at his bewilderment face.

"I wonder if they'll get along..."

Satoru wonders the same.

He had noticed how tense and nervous you were this morning when that detective arrived, but you and that man didn't seem to know each other. Were you pretending? Were both pretending they didn't know each other?

Did they even know each other at all...?

How was it possible? Didn't you know your own stepfather? Is this what Yaga didn't want to tell him before? However, Satoru failed in what he asked of him. The detective saw you and recognized you, so Yaga will probably end up telling him the truth anyway and won't get scolded again for jumping the gun, again.

But what was the big deal?

“She´s a Zenin as well…”

…

So… that´s it?

Mei Mei is right? Were you being careful of not been linked to Suguru? He saw the stupid necklace hanging from that creepy knife. Have you gotten into trouble with any of Suguru's enemies? Suguru had something to do with the school murders?

It wasn't possible.

Those girls were sorceresses... and Yaga told him the killer wasn't you, but... did that mean you weren't 100% involved? The only thing he knows is that he doesn't know many things and that Yaga isn't telling him everything.

“She´s a Zenin as well…”

“Suguru´s old home was already an empty husk as well… though from the blood stains and residuals he most likely killed his parents”

Is it true then? You and Suguru…

Did you…?

Mei Mei puts a bit of effort into pretend she´s not enjoying this, not just because of the fact that Satoru was paying her extra. But come on, she´s not that bad. "Don't get so worked up about it, after all, you want to help her despite everything, or have you just changed your mind?”

Or yes?

She taps her fingers softly over the armchair waiting for an answer, but Satoru doesn't seem to lower the intensity of his thoughts.

The sorceress can't laugh at Satoru believing it so easily since the idea isn't that crazy, but a deal is a deal, so with or without an answer, she must comply.

“Here, an alibi for her, but I don't know how she's going to take it… If she ever asks you, please tell her that this wasn't with malicious intentions."

Finally, Satoru looks up from his own hands holding the documents, only to see more papers in front of him. “An ilibi?”

"She was getting sick"

Sick?

His eyes quickly catch your name on the document, feeling his mouth grow drier as he read, hearing Mei Mei´s voice far away, he can´t understand her words anymore.

Is distorted.

Airi Mizuki

17 years old

Admitted on December 29, 2007.

Admitted?

Pernicious anemia

Bradycardia

Behaviors studied.

…

…

Cold as glacial water, his eyes collide with Ijichi´s, who felt like the Titanic colliding with that iceberg leaving him in darkness and cutting off his blood circulation.

He knows what the six-eyes is thinking. Satoru wonders why he hadn't come to him with this information first, but before he could give in to his anxiety, in that rush of adrenaline, of all his emotions surfacing, the one he somehow managed to convey to him was reproach.

Satoru could yell at him all he wanted, threaten to hit him if he wanted to, but he wasn't going to give in. When he found your admission medical file, Ijichi just felt in his heart that this had to stay that way, without Satoru knowing, because it was yours, private. Maybe you could be overwhelmed, just like Satoru felt ashamed from the way all his friends started looking at him after the incident at the gym, that last time they all saw you.

Adjusting his glasses with trembling fingers, he notice there´s something in Satoru´s eyes that he very rarely get to see in him, those few times when he used all his determination and strength to say no to him, but a billion times worse.

Ijichi's expression softens, because he understands. He reproaches him, but he understands. Although Nanami, who had been silent throughout the entire time, with his dark blue suit and hair neatly combed as usual, doesn´t seem to care at all, he reproaches Satoru with all his heart.

He approaches snatching the papers from Satoru´s hands and throws them directly into the fire, silently supporting Ijichi´s decision.

"You already found her, that's all you wanted... and as long as you have no proof of what Mei Mei have just accused Airi of, you don't need to know anything else without her consent"

Feeling his body as if some kind of poison had left all his muscles numb, unable to move, Satoru barely turn to look at his friend, too apathetic to pull a sour face, but still, he´s not going to deny the scolding. Nanami´s eyes fixed sternly all over him, causing a discomforting twinge inside his chest.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

With little desire to be shameless as usual, Satoru finds a bit of comfort avoiding his gaze, staring right at the fireplace. Watching those papers being consumed by the dancing flames in seconds, he wonders if Nanami remembered the same thing. He doesn't know, just as he doesn't know that Ijichi decided to hide that information from him because even though you were far away and too much time had passed, he felt like he was betraying that sweet girl who was always kind to him, that girl who quit Jujutsu High without telling a soul for a reason, or several. Although, regardless of whether Mei Mei said is true or not, everyone in this room knew what the last straw was, the trigger for your departure. So, without caring what the last straw would say or try to do to him in the morning, Ijichi wishes everyone goodnight, leaving the room with Nanami, who takes a quick glance towards the fireplace before closing the door. On the other hand, Mei Mei can´t stand it anymore, so stands up to follow them, reluctant to Satoru's attitude who she would swear, is practically about to throw himself into the fire.

This… irritates her, bothers her, infuriates her.

You've been away all these years, and yet you still have this power over him and you're not interested in getting any benefit from it.

From him.

This time, she does roll her eyes.

“What a waste”

November 21, 2006
The Village. 

You achieved it.

Although, once you managed to convince him, you resisted rolling your eyes at Yaga-Sensei when he told you that you shouldn't expect difficult missions at all, and that you wouldn't do the classification test because it wasn´t necessary.

Neither he nor Master Tengen were going to expose you. You had already done enough with the cursed speech months ago at the aquarium. So you're practically still in the same cage, just a little bigger.

But now you're making extra money, so it was fine.

This mediocre and harmless mission was for you alone, a couple of small curses disturbing some houses, and scaring the farm animals, a nd just as you predicted, you finished ahead of schedule, so as soon you told Shoko that you had a couple of days free, it occurred to her that they… could stay here in the cabin until the stipulated time ends.

You spent most of the night awake watching the firefly couples, no noise besides the crickets and the calm river. Imagining what Satoru will say, and what he´ll not stop saying in the next few days about this super mission, and the rest to come because you plan to take them all.

So you'll have to bite your tongue.

You didn´t enjoy doing that, but it was necessary.

The less they know, the better.

At some point you were planning to tell them that perhaps... you won't stay in Jujutsu society forever, that maybe you'll find your way elsewhere. Nothing that reminded you of the world in which you feel so desolated but to which you belong, somehow. Although you still don't know which path to take.

And just as you didn't enjoy biting your tongue, you weren't enjoying this day in general either.

Suguru noticed it.

Satoru played with your hair, trying to trying to make a braid like Shoko's during class while bragging about how the little curse you got rid of was like a chibi version of the one he exorcised just a couple days ago, and how it took him the same amount of time as it did you to do it.

The mix of the pleasant sensation in your head and the discomfort in your stomach makes you stiff, a nd Suguru noticed. You, stiff and focused on your book, tapping softly your right thumb at the edge of it, having been on the same page for over twenty minutes until Satoru finally shut his mouth and left the room. Suguru, behind the steam of his cup of tea, followed your gaze, out of the corner of your eyes making sure Satoru had indeed left.

And finally, you turned a page.

But it seems that wasn't enough.

Whatever was going on inside your mind left you on the same page for another twenty minutes, until suddenly, you close the book and turn to him. His eyes connecting with yours, those amethyst wells with so much to say, but that part of your body able to do it clearly did not have the permission of your heart to do so.

This time, he didn't look at your lips with the usual desire, but with something he hadn't felt fully for a while. Hoping that you could say something more than just a lie.

But there they were, still and silent.

Although... Suguru wasn´t a very different story, same with Shoko. She looked the same as always, but she had a more serious air, as if it was a little harder to make her laugh heartily. And it wouldn't be a surprise. Working in the medical wing seeing new bodies arriving every day, and you going to check the place of the bloody events and how it happened with your technique.

And Suguru, he… he´s tired.

It seems that instead of blood, there were liquid heavy metals coursing through his veins, reaching his brain, his mind… looking for a way to transform him into another kind of creature. And unlike many other times, you don't pay attention to his soft lips, and only notice the slight dark circles under his eyes, so slight that anyone might not notice, so slight that a gentle breeze could erase them.

If only something or someone had warned you that in a couple more months, not even a hurricane could erase them, and that those liquids would finally manage to transform him into a completely different being, because the process was already an inevitable metastasis.

Those nights when Suguru was beginning to experience insomnia, his nightmares began to be born. Voices that whisper in his ear seductively that he didn't want to listen, but there was nothing he could do because they were inside his head. And as the days and nights go by... the whispers becomes clearer and clearer until it was practically a scream.

And the nightmares made more sense to him every time.

It scared him.

Suguru was fighting his own demons without a shield. Demons that he didn't want to share with anyone, demons can´t be exorsiced. All you wanted is to be a comfort to him but lately, you were afraid of running into a barrier too high to reach him. You want to gather the little strength you have left to be able to cross, no matter what is on the other side.

No matter what.

Right?

“At this rate your butt will disappear, Airi” Satoru said putting a slice of apple in his mouth the next morning.

You hear Shoko saying something to him, but at that point you already preferred to dissociate, just staring at your tea w ithout being able to enjoy the bump on Satoru´s head after the blow she gave him. You don't even remember when you stood up from the table, if you said something or not, now feeling the hot morning sun hitting your skin.

You look around the plot, starting to walk near the firefighter's mother's house where a group of cows were grazing, and then, the scene in front of your eyes touched you deeply.

It's like you can't escape it, life constantly reminding you of it.

A heifer was trying to drink milk from her mother, but apparently the cow was a bit stressed, enough to not be able to stand having her heifer around, so she pushed her repeatedly with her hind leg until the baby gave up, moving away from the group.

"That doesn't look good at all."

Weakly, you turn to the older man behind you, perhaps in his seventies, who sighs in resignation, worried.

"She always rejected her, since she was born we had to force the mother to let her breastfeed” The old man takes off his gloves and puts them in one of his pockets, taking a large baby bottle out of his bag. “I´m afraid that we´ll have to do it ourselves from now on”

“Can I do it?”

And so, with the bottle of warm milk in your hands you begin your search alone, hoping to find the heifer before it gets cold but you can't find the heifer anywhere. You won´t give up though.

The heifer needs to eat, otherwise it´ll get weak and sick.

The heifer needs something warm.

The heifer needs to survive without its momm-

"Where are you going?"

Your distressed face tries to relax upon hearing Suguru's voice behind you.

You didn´t feel him coming.

"I… I'm looking for a baby cow"

"A baby cow?”

You don't feel like talking much, your throat feels tight, but you try.

“Yeah, she hasn't been eating well." You shake the bottle for emphasis, holding your shaky breath when Suguru asks why. So you prefer to turn on your heels to start walking before answering. “The mother rejected her and doesn't want to feed her."

“ Maybe the heifer is sick”

You almost stopped in your tracks, sensing what Suguru was about to say. "Maybe is sick because she hasn't eaten."

“That´s the mother´s job, if she doesn´t let her it’s for a reason.” Suguru suddenly feels like you didn't need to glare at him, he feels the contempt you feel towards his comment. “It’s cruel, I know. But that's how nature works, only the strong survive, this is how things should be.”

“You don´t need to help me, I can do it on my own. We're not talking about a tiger, Suguru, it's just a little cow with owners who cares about her."

Moving a good couple of meters ahead of him, you try to leave him behind.

Completely obfuscated.

“Airi”

“Go away”

“Hey”

“I said go away-“

“Look”

He stops you by hooking his fingers through yours, and you could burst into tears right there but you hold on.

Suguru leads you to the edge of a corral where abundant bales of straw lay scattered. And there, reddish as caramel and with a large white spot on her face like a mask adorning around her pink nose, is the heifer disconsolate and hungry sunken among the straw. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of her sparkling black eyes, the poor creature unable to understand why her mom doesn't want to feed her.

He lets go of your hand, walking towards the animal to remove the straw from its head, and she begins to moo.

“You better hurry, she´s waiting”

You stay still for a second, not knowing what to do with the anger you had towards him. For a moment you wanted to throw the bottle of milk at his head, wondering why Suguru would give you a lesson on the law of nature with a domestic animal.  

Serious, you close the distance and kneel at their side.

Suguru guides the heifer´s head towards the bottle in your hands, the warm food she so longed for, and start eating eagerly.

"There, there sweet thing"

Suguru, relieved to see your seriousness gone, notices that...f or a moment, his head became silent. He watched tenderly as you fed the heifer, saying sweet things to her with a smile on your lips and eyes shining, though he wasn't sure with how many emotions.

“You like it here?”

“Huh?”

“This place… is nice”

Suguru looks around before closing his eyes, perhaps concentrating on the sound of the river not far away, and the birds chirping in the trees.

And your imagination flies.

You haven't visited your father's cabin for a long time, and you imagine what it would be like in a couple of years to be able to renovate it and start living there, away from people.

Maybe you can finally adopt a bunny.

With Suguru.

With your free hand, your fingers remove the dark lock of hair from his face, gently caressing his skin from his cheekbone to his temple. He opens his eyes, and for a brief moment, they were Suguru´s eyes. That Suguru you met at the train station on your first day at school a year ago, those eyes that became smaller when he laughed.

Nothing to cloud them.

“Yes, I like it”

Like a magnet for each other, both of you seek for each other's breath, but the already satisfied heifer shakes its head scattering straw around, settling down for a well-deserved nap.

"So… are you still angry?"

Like a little boy trying to escape punishment, or trying to punishing you for being angry at him, he tries to stand up, but your knee pushes his to the side, making him almost fall on top of you. You welcome him by wrapping your arms around his neck, his scent making your body feel lighter.

"You say strange things lately, you know?"

"You should keep me quiet then. There's a solution."

And as if he was born for it, because you know he was, he captures your lips sharing the tingle that runs down your abdomen. Eager, his tongue attacks yours as one of your hands moves down to his chest, feeling the strong beat of his heart, sending waves of pleasure to your crotch.

The sound of lips as they part only to quickly come back together makes Suguru's hips take on a life of their own. With a thrust, both stifled the moan in that kiss and now you´re left completely lying on the straw. Suguru caresses and scratches your thighs while continuing to kiss you and you are seeing stars behind your eyelids.

Panting, you pull at the collar of his jacket to push him away but Suguru gives you no respite. As if he would run out of air if he didn't continue, he mercilessly attacks your neck, thrusting his hips between your legs. And right there, Suguru knew and promised himself that very soon clothes would not be an obstacle, nor the place, nor Satoru to have you completely for himself.

Right there, Suguru had the pleasure of hearing the sweetest and most obscene moan from you, so he kept thrusting biting your ear and whispering obscenities that make you gasp for air, with all your blood reaching your cheeks, and other places in your body. Suddenly, it's not enough. His hands grip your butt tightly, squeezing and biting one of your breasts through your shirt.

“We need to stop… we need to st-“ Your head falls back, arching your back in a delicious curve.

“You´re close, not yet”

At any moment, something would explode inside your chest. Thinking it's because of the moment of ecstasy, you want to experience Suguru's tongue elsewhere, but something within you stops you from asking him. You're outdoors, with a sleepy baby cow as a potential witness.

Suddenly another voice that doesn't seem to be from your conscience tells you something, and it sounds too seductive to ignore.

As if you were hypnotized, one of your hands grabs a pile of straw covering the heifer's sleeping head, ironically seeking some privacy, and you lift your shirt completely.

Suguru grabs your waist between his arms lifting you up, pressing you against his crotch, trapping one of your breasts with his mouth. The warmth of his tongue playing with your nipple sends you soaring, continuing to dance on his erect member. You caress his arched back while with the other stroke his neck, and your vocal cords acted on their own.

No curse speech, just a beg.

Suguru pleased you.

Lying on your back again, what you thought would take time and be difficult turned out to be the easiest and quickest task in the world. With nimble fingers, Suguru tucked under your underwear, tucking his head between your skirt, and not even the heat of the sun could match this warmth.

For the first time Suguru tasted your juices, playing with you with his tongue. Eating you, he squeezed your breasts, panting over your folds. Your hands gripped his wrists, wanting to scratch his strong forearms.

You gasp as he takes your legs and places them over his shoulders, catching a glimpse of his darkened eyes. Your chest rises and falls, grabbing the back of Suguru's neck, begging and begging, until finally, you explode into his mouth. Your back, which was arched and sweaty, hits the grass and straw, letting out a guttural moan.

Like a wild feline, he climbs over you imprisoning your lips giving you a taste of your own flavor, making a mental note to change his underwear as soon as he gets back to the cabin.

Cupping his cheeks in your hands, you kiss him as if it were the last time. Trembling and longing for the day he finally takes you.

“That was risky”

“Oh Suguru! I want your tongue all over my pu-“

“Ok, fine, fine! Stop it”

With a more than mocking smile, he helps you arrange your clothes, giving short pecks on your cheeks and lips every time. His smile widened as you started to blush again, realizing what you just did with him, what he did to you. Now laughing when you remove the straw from the heifer, and you feel warmth in your chest, seeing him smile like this, hearing him laugh like this. The vibrating waves of his laughter gently caressing your eardrums, his energy essence soothing and beautiful.

Hoping it last, hoping he could stay this way forever.

Standing on your tiptoes, you kiss him again, long and intense.

With… love.

He slowly opens his eyes, ready to drown in that warm purple sea, but suddenly the heifer's mooing puts him on alert, and you quickly turn around spotting the curse stalking. It was the size of a dog, and it didn't seem to have the intention of attacking, yet Suguru pointed his hand at it and annihilated it while the heifer came out from the straw, moving away in search of the group where its mother was.

“This may not be the last time you have to be here, s omething seems to attract them."

You nod understanding the situation.

You knew that this often happens with small children, usually between 3 and 9. Regardless of whether they can see curses or not, they can be attracted to various things, such as nightmares, as happened to you. But the strange thing is that... there were no children in the village.

The youngest were 12 years old, and they were not able to see curses.

This village seemed to be a peaceful place, nothing dangerous or negligent seemed to be happening to the civilians that could cause curses to be attracted or created by them. But hey, we see the faces, we don't know the hearts.

Nobody knows how quickly things can go to hell.

"Let's go back, Yaga-Sensei must put someone in charge of being a pest controller, and that person won't be you."

"Don't say that, there are still two nights left. I should find out what's attracting them."

"It's endless, Airi."

"Endless?"

“ They'll keep coming, it's the fault of the non-sorcerers. Their problems, their emotions... they can't stop from being who they are. Someone will have to come constantly to eliminate them, just like rats.”

Suddenly, something runs down your spine. Not that delicious intimate feeling you had a moment ago with him for the first time. It was something cold, and it came from him. And a part of your subconscious took control of you and the words just came out, even surprising you.

“The curses…”

Suguru doesn´t answer right away so the chills grew deeper.

Why were you feeling this way?

“Sugur-“

“Yes… the curses”

After that, he took your hand and it was warm as always, it was his hand but something was off. He smiled at you, closing his eyes as usual, but deep down you knew he didn´t want to, so you wonder why he does it.

You didn´t smile.

The following week, Suguru traveled to Nagoya.

Every night, he'd text or call you. He sounded just like himself, but when you stood right in front of him, there was something about him—in his slight dark circles, in his eyes, in him—but it was too soon, still too soon to know the existence of that seed that was beginning to sprout.

Long roots, dark and carcinogenic.

You don´t know yet, nobody does, but in the future you will wish that today you could have done something different, to have been able to see the symptoms of this cancer, but the roots were too deep in the ground, receiving all the wrong nutrients to be born from the earth casting a heavy shadow over all those who love him.

Nobody knows how quickly things can go to hell, and today, life gives you an example of that.

This morning you left your training halfway through, your lungs unable to keep up with your body's pace, so after showering and getting ready, you head to the office to finish some paperwork, but the office is empty.

You frown because it's late, Yaga-Sensei should be here.

Before sitting down at your desk, you walk over to the coffee machine, snorting when you see the coffee jar open. You close the lid as always and there, you knew something what´s wrong.

The coffee cup was still in the running machine, full and cold.

And just as Yaga should have left in a hurry, you did the same.

You didn't see any familiar faces until you reached the medical wing, where your search unfortunately ended.

There were people, l ots of people and among them, there is Yaga.

Next to them, a rather short man with his hands behind his back, is listening to a few members of the Tokyo school's investigation group. And all of this feels bad, it makes you sick. Especially the look Yaga holds on the man's face. His brow isn't furrowed, any tension his muscles may be feeling is concentrated in his deadly gaze. His arms are crossed, but you know he wants to clench his fists tightly, preferably on the man´s face.

What the hell was going on?

Unable to hold it in any longer, you get closer than you should, catching his attention.

Yaga´s expression doesn't soften at all when he moves away from the group, immediately asking you to leave.

Refusing and almost breathless, you ask the question no one ever wants to ask, but which is a daily occurrence here. "Who? What happened?"

“Airi…”

“Suguru?”

You talked to him last night, it couldn't be... or could it? Your heart slowed slightly at the Principal's response, but it didn't last long. What felt almost like a heart attack made your knees warned they wouldn't be able to hold you up much longer.

“He´s fine, he´ll come back tomorrow morning, but…”

"The body is already at the morgue, sir”

An assistant approaches, and the Principal with just a glance lets him know that he´ll attend to the matter later.

“Who´s in the morgue?”

"Airi, you shouldn't be here. We'll talk later."

"I won't leave."

"Airi, pleas-"

"Tell me!"

“KIMIKO!”

A piercing scream that made your skin crawl made them all turn around.

“GOD, PLEASE NO, KIMIKOOOOOOO”

A boy your age was being held by two assistants and a teacher. His face, red as lava and soaked with tears, repeated Kimiko's name over and over again while a trickle of saliva dripped from his mouth. Torn to pieces, he falls back breathless, understanding God doesn't exist, and if he does, not in this place.

There's a ringing in your ear, you feel like your knees are going to dislocate with every step you take as you run. Once you enter the morgue, you fall to your knees. The girl with long black hair plunges into the claustrophobic darkness of the refrigerator.

The metallic sound of the door closing snaps you out of your trance, showing you that this isn't a nightmare, that you can't wake up from this, and your heart keeps pounding as Yaga's hands help you stand.

He tries to stop you, but with the little strength you have, you manage to advance to the refrigerator, opening door. She has her eyes closed, and if it weren't for the bruises on her body, she'd look like she was asleep.

"Kimiko...?"

“I´m so sorry, child”

Yaga tries to guide you to the door, and from there, everything blurs. All you remember is that short man, the strange feeling of guilt and the hand of the morgue attendant on duty next to Kimiko's new ID as he closes the refrigerator door again.

…85

3…

385

"Hey Airi! Sing for me again, okay?"

“You have a very beautiful voice, why don´t you sing again?”

"Okay... just one more time, Kimiko."

“That guy Naoya… is pretty scary”

November 24, Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical School.
11:48pm

389

388

387

The almost peeled number on the metal door keeps the gloomy chills running down your spine.

Just like in a horror story, the lights are off and the atmosphere feels heavy, as if at any moment all the doors will begin to open and close at the same time trying to scare you. But you´d dare say that scene won´t be that scary as what you feel now.

It´s not necessary to put it into words, it doesn´t matter when you catch a glimpse of the numbers that come before.

385

386

It wasn´t an ugly hunch, it was on purpose.

Everything was on purpose.

Maybe it's wasn´t a trap as such, but you know that he wanted you here.

He wanted you to see something.

“Airi-Sama?”

“Don´t hang up”

Calling Homura, he asks what's wrong. And you just repeat that he mustn’t hang up. You're not in the mood to explain that you need emotional support in some way. Because right now, you want to hug yourself but instead, you grab the 385 cold door handle, squeezing it tightly as you steel yourself.

“What are you doing?” Homura asks on the other side of the line.

Swallowing thickly, in a slow move you open the door and your eyes land on a pair of bluish feet.

A bitter smell fills your nostrils, and you try not to breathe when it continues to reach your nose. Exhaling and wrinkling your nose you grab the metallic stretcher, pulling.

And then, Homura hear a loud gasp.

“What´s wrong? Airi-Sama?”

Your lips parted.

Your eyes wide open going from top to bottom erratically over the body of the young girl.

Don´t touch her…

Your ankles are like fragile thread about to break right now.

Your energy seems to be fading away while the guilt is weighing on your conscience, but suddenly, a force comes to save your body from falling on its knees. It was the entire journey you took, all those who accompanied you to get here…

Yourself.

Lifting your chin, sternly trying to erase the guilt, you put the stretcher back in, closing the door abruptly without caring if someone can hear.

Don´t touch her…

Just as abruptly, you open the next door, 386…

Don´t touch her…

The silence, the cold… this perversity is really overwhelming, really...

Remembering how to breathe, you try to fill your lungs although it´s taking you a lot of work. Homura's attentive ear on the other end of the line bears witness. And you don´t move, as if what dared to hurt these poor souls would come for you, because in fact, that's how it was.

Both girls are quite similar.

A pattern, a vengeful fixation of his.

The deep swollen wounds and bruises, her body torn apart, incapacitated of vitality makes you want to leave once and for all, only barely being able to imagine the physical pain, the fear…

They died scared... many things go through your mind in this new moment of vulnerability, of extreme empathy. Did they think about their parents when they were stabbed? Did they wonder if they be dumped somewhere else to never to be found? Their parents never be able to find their bodies? Would the pain end soon?

Is there a God in heaven?

This plan, was terrifyingly perfect, of both the son and the father.

You imagine him smiling now, laughing, sickly enjoying all this while the father remains silent, maybe also enjoying this kind of punishment for you, for contributing to the creation of this monster that he couldn´t control and that has come out of its cage.

Don´t…

Your trembling hand rises, approaching the girl's hand.

Don´t…

Your hand clenches into a fist before touching her, wondering why you need to do this.

Don't touch her.

Her hand it´s cold, as cold as this room. Her skin feels hard, like the aggressive stabs you see coming and going on her.

“DON´T TOUCH HER!”

Letting go of her hand, your phone falls to the floor as Homura's hands grab your wrists bringing them towards your chest, your back colliding with his chest as you stumble backwards. Then, he kneels behind you still holding you when you can no longer stand on your own.

Your heart beating at a dangerous pace, doesn't seem to want to calm down, it´s so strong that you think the dead here will all wake up envious of it.

It´s unbearable, and it is even more so when, without anesthesia, he tells you what he found in the forensic reports.

Both girls were pregnant.

It´s not an ugly hunch.

It´s not a coincidence, it´s… on purpose.

After sobbing, both of you are sheltered under an umbrella outside the school barrier.

Homura watching you attentively waiting for you to change your mind. "Renji won't like this."

“Fuck Renji”

“I don´t like it either”

“Fuck you too”

He looks to the side, shaking his head while purses his lip.

“I have no choice, Homura… There are no more hiding places for me and soon I won't have any more energy to keep running. Besides… there's still a battle I can't win on my own."

Homura watches as your hand rests on your chest, reluctant to let you back in.

“Can you trust them?”

“I did it a long time ago, it went… fine”

“Just fine?”

“I guess it could have been worse."

“I´ll wait for you right here then” He states, stubborn.

Then, the rain becomes torrential.  

Some student’s eyes are set on you immediately.

You don't wonder what they're doing so late. All of them in their uniforms, dirty and with some injuries… most likely they have returned from their missions and it feels so wrong. You see their faces and it feels so wrong because that's all they are.

They're just kids.

It doesn't take long for the murmurs to appear, after all, you´re not a familiar face, yet something familiar feels emerging in the pit of your stomach. Memories of these same halls, under this same roof, filling you with nostalgia without knowing how to control it, just like a couple of nights ago.

Uncomfortable, you hurry your steps towards the stairs, to Yaga´s office. And quite the opposite of your last visit, all the lights are on.

It feels weird, to be here, exposed, about to knock on his door properly instead of sneaky into, but when you´re about to, your old ninja friend appears behind you.

“Oi! Who are you?”

Ninja grandpa is frowning, looking at you from head to toe with distrust. The situation feels so strange that you really don't feel like saying anything, but apparently that was like a war sentence for him because out of nowhere there´s a wooden spear in his hands pointing at you. "Answer or I'll-"

“It´s alright, Chikashi, let her”

The voice coming from inside the office feels like you hear it every day, every day to this day, but when you hear the door being open it doesn't feel that way. Suddenly, all the years here take on a weight. This isn't your place anymore, it's not yours at all.

But again, this man who looks hard as rock, who often gave you scolding and advice, looks at you as if he were seeing that girl again, making all the negative things you felt disappear.

You feel… kind of welcome.

 “I wasn’t expecting a late visit”

Remembering the reason of your visit, a lump forms in your throat.

Everything you´re going to tell inside this office…

 “My apologizes”

The man sighs, in that way like when he used to catch Satoru and Suguru doing something stupid, and lets you in.

 “Come… take a sit, child”

Chapter Text

I Follow Rivers – Lykke Li
Born To Die – Lana Del Rey
Signs –Bloc Party
Limbo – Lissom, Julien Marchal, Lowswimmer
All the right moves – One Republic
Echo – Jason Walker
In the Kitchen – Mree
Porcelain – Skott
I Am The Antichrist To You – Kishi Bashi

August 16, 2006
Shinagawa Tokyo Aquarium

It wasn't the first time you'd sneak out while working lately.

Usually, it was to the school library, the furthest you've gotten is at the second-hand bookstore, but now, Yaga-Sensei's sudden question made you angry.

“Are you… ok?”

So now, you have sneak out of school.

You hadn't even bothered to finish style your hair in the morning, you just let it loose and went to the office. And about two hours since you arrived, Yaga´s insistent gaze was trying to be unnoticed by you.

You squeezed your pencil tightly, already knowing he noticed the dark cloud above your head.

He lets his papers aside and sighs, tired, complicated, as if he didn't know how to begin saying whatever he wanted to say. And is not strange, since he discovered a couple of weeks ago that you took the habit of snooping through private files. He fears that you may have wanted to investigate further into the events surrounding Riko Amanai's death. Her possible replacement, who the perpetrator was... and from then on, everything that was supposed to be a secret, hidden from you.

There was not a single document missing from the archives, yet he has not stopped drinking coffee and biting his finger all that afternoon waiting for you to show up again.

And Master Tengen's words were clear.

"Keep a close eye on her."

It was as if an unlocked grenade had fallen from his hands. It wasn't evil, Yaga was just following orders, and he should not exceed the professional limit, no matter how much esteem he had for you. He know if it´s right or wrong, deep in his heart, the answer is clear. 

"Airi..." He calls you while you continue playing with your pencil without looking at him.

You don't want to talk about it.

Not now, not ever.

There is one gesture with your mouth in particular that gives you away when you are upset but try to hold on as best you can, and you´re doing it right now. Proof enough to know Yaga won't achieve anything. He knows you more than you would like, more than he himself would like, but he´ll try, he has anything else to lose.

Apparently, he's already lost your trust.

"Look, child… I"

“I want to go on missions”

“…” The man frowns , not upset at being interrupted but preparing to put a stop to it if necessary. “No”

And finally, you look up.

“Why?”

There's an almost dark edge to your eyes, your mouth puckering as if you were going to cry from pure rage. Disappointed and frustrated.

And he was fighting, fighting with himself, ready to answer your questions even going against the orders because you were the most stubborn child his migraines had ever known, even worse than Satoru. You would go find out whatever you wanted anyway, but it couldn't be from his mouth. So your teacher holds back another sigh, daring to move forward on this quicksand without knowing when he will take a wrong step and begin to sink. "You know very well why”

After long seconds, you are the first to look away, picking up your pencil again scribbling on your paper no caring if it is an important document. And it was like being in mourning. The man in front of you was not what you thought he was anymore, nor Master. Tengen.

You don´t even know the value you have here, because you certainly don't have it outside. But… can you really blame them?

"Are you ok, child?"

“I´m not a child”

Children do not live alone, children do not take care of themselves.

You are not a child.

Yaga stands up but keeps his distance, stating a truth you know but don´t care to hear.

"You look a lot like your mother”

Your hand stops, feeling your heart skip a beat, wanting to wash your ears. “What?”

“I said you look too pale… are you feeling ok-?

As a bull having seen red, you stand up quickly grabbing your bag and leave the office in a second. You didn't even bother to close the door or apologize to the person you bumped into when you left. After a while the noises of the street and the crowd become clear in your offended ears as if they had been covered with earplugs, realizing where your feet took you.

Crossing the train station turnstile you wait, numb, playing with your hair. Then, you find yourself hugging yourself, looking blankly at the yellow line and the train tracks.

What are you supposed to do now if you can't go on missions? How are you going to earn more money so you can continue outside of school if you wanted to? You know your mother's money will stop coming in at some point... you know she'll...

She...

What are you going to do with her? What are you going to say to her when you see her again?

Will you ever see her again?

Why did she do that? Why did she do that to you?

The woman's voice coming from the speaker announces the next destination, but your ears only perceive a tremor when you squeeze your eyes too hard to hear her.

Because it hurts, it hurts a lot.

Stuck near the door you looked at your own reflection, obfuscated running your finger through your hair trying to make it look more decent after all the running you did, as those words your mind distorted suddenly echoed in your head.

You don´t want to look like her. You would like to look like your father, but you can't look like him either.

You imagine your long hair dark like obsidian, your eyes dark blue like a rough sea during winter. The shape of your face a little different, your nose, the shape of your lips... you stay glued to the reflection for so long that in certain light, you manage to see something of him in you. Then, the tall buildings stop casting shadows so the rays of the sun make you turn around.

After almost 20 minutes, you exit the train as everyone else does and just follow the crowd, trying to find shelter from the sun. Until suddenly, the people around you are many children with their parents, and young couples.

AQUA PARK SHINAGAWA.

It´s the aquarium.

The ticket is expensive but it matters little once you enter. It is as fresh as it looks inside the ponds. There were some small fish tanks with a few tiny fishes swimming around, nothing extravagant, not colorful at all.

You keep walking hoping to find something to distract yourself, trying to keep your eyes on the clownfish but a girl like you can't help it right now.
You would like to have nothing on your mind, like the girls your age around you. Their bouncing hair and cute nails, their flirty sun dresses and bare shoulders.

Not stuck in this uniform, uncomfortable in your own skin.

Careless.

Happy. 

Careless… like him.

And even though he's stuck in this boring uniform, he's so free.

Comfortable in his own skin.

Why being as powerful as he is, is it okay for everyone to know? Why do you have to be locked in a cage like a small bird? You could be doing the same thing as him, earning almost as much.

Maybe then he wouldn't have so much burden on him. Satoru... is very strong, and he still has much more to discover and master. And even though you feel disappointed in yourself for still having feelings for him too, you can't stop worrying about him.

Although… that's something you should do, once and for all. Forget about him, and somehow manage to go unnoticed by him from now on, otherwise, he will never leave you alone. But maybe that's what you like about him, about it, what somehow gives comfort to this wound of yours. That even if he´s not yours, he is there, he is always there in some way. Unlike your mo-…

You stop in your tracks.

You don't know how much further you walked, how many seconds or minutes, but you no longer see small fish. Now, they are bigger and colorful. Almost hypnotized, you follow them, turning on a corner and suddenly you gasp.

Everything in front of you is… blue.

The blue light reflected on the ground was like a separation between the mortal world and a fantasy one, the idea kind of intimidating and fascinating at the same time.

Slowly, you step foot into the blue paradise watching the colorful fish swimming above your head, finally freeing your mind from any disturbance. Looking down again, your eyes widen in amazement when one in particular begins to swim near the glass. Its colors… bright blue, green and yellow reminding you of a peacock's tail.

With a lighter heart you move forward, sure that there´s much more to see, like the angelfish that pops in your fields of vision.

You approach the large pond as the fish starts to swim near, as if it wanted to meet you too. Your hand touches the cold glass, smiling when the fish show interest in your fingers, following them. You make waves up and down softly with your index wondering if it´s having fun.

You are.

Suddenly, your body alerts you of something.

It sits on the back of your neck, communicating it to you with gentle vibrations that make the hairs on your body stand up. The angelfish is still attached to your finger while you're about to look around, not being immediately sure if it’s familiar or not, but something in your peripheral view catch your eye. Beyond the angelfish, another strange creature is approaching quickly towards the glass, making the angelfish swimming away from you, just like the others do.

You frown slightly, thinking about how ugly it is and how it seems to get bigger as he gets closer. It was a greenish gray with many white dots, always with its mouth open.

An eel.

You frown harder, cursing the day that thing was born for daring to scare away your new friend. But… every time you blink you´d swear you see something different about the creature. Flinching when out of nowhere it starts swimming faster towards you. And suddenly, as if someone had hit it with a whip, it turns around disappearing from your sight.

“Airi-Chan”

When you turn, Suguru´s figure approaches with both hands inside his pockets. And you can't tell your jacket from his on his forearm, not even because of the considerable size difference since his rolled-up sleeves had you stunned for the first few seconds. If it weren't for the fact that your hand was still on the cold glass, the heated veins from his forearms would have made you maintain the slight blush much longer. But when you see the corset of his pants, just like you though the first time you saw it, you know for sure it should have its own life insurance.

“Here you are”

Shoko appears behind him with a soda in her hand, smiling.

"You forgot your jacket" Suguru says walking towards you but Shoko beats him to it and hangs over your shoulders.

“By the way sweetie, you´re in trouble” Her smile grows bigger when she sees your confused face.

“In trouble?”

Really…? Y ou're not allowed to get angry now?

“Yaga-Sensei said we have to take you back” Finally, Suguru approaches smiling, placing his hand on your head.

You could be enjoying how pleasant the warmth emanating from his hand is or how good his clothes smells but your mind is now occupied with what the hell you are going to say to Yaga-Sensei.

What did he expect? Apologies?

You refuse.

May he make you clean all the classrooms at school, you don't care.

“And he said we could spend the rest of the day with you if you don´t want to” Shoko almost sings hooking her arms through yours, happy to have a free day. “You don´t want to, right? Do you?”

You feel a weight is mercifully lifted from your shoulders and smile weakly at her. Relieved that you can somehow enjoy your anger a bit more and not coming back so soon.

And not have to clean classrooms…

“Of course not”

“Yes!”

Happy to see her celebrating, Suguru, or rather Yaga-Sensei again, ruins the moment. And you force yourself to feign insanity.

“So, what is it?”

“What?”

“He said you have something to tell us”

You grab your jacket almost dazed when he hands it to you, quickly playing with your fingers not knowing what to say.

Was it a test? Yaga-Sensei and Master. Tengen… It is insensitive of them. Believe that giving you permission now would fix that bond that since you were little they couldn't foster in you given the danger of all you were involved.

Trust in others.

But… Were you and Yaga-Sensei on the same page?

Did he really know why you were angry? Is there something else? Was this about the missions or your mother? Did he even know about your mother? Or was this what he really wanted... T here's more, and he doesn't know what the hell it is you know and was using Shoko and Suguru to get to know.

If so, where to start? You see Shoko and Suguru's faces and couldn't even think of how to begin telling them the truth.

Did Yaga think you wouldn't be able to do it for some reason? You could trust them, right? They were your friends, your best friends, but...

"Oh yeah, the Zenin... they're a bunch of shit."

What about him?

“No… I”

"Let´s eat something while you spill the tea” Shoko doesn't seem to be taking pity on your heart either, which began to pound while your brain tries regulate your system.

“Wait a minute! I don´t know what´s he´s talking ab-“

“Don´t be selfish, come now”

Now behind you, Shoko gave you a little push, almost making you collide with Suguru's back, who had already started walking but stops out of nowhere.

You just stay there, curious. Then, with nothing but joy spreading through your chest remembering why the gesture fills you with warmth, but you still wonder why he does it.

His left hand is out of his pocket now, with his arm slightly stretched out towards you offering you… his pinky. Shoko gives you a suggestive look with up and down eyebrow movements when you hook you pinky in his without having doubted even a little bit. Still, a part of your consciousness reminds you that this may be a problem, but how something this new and beautiful could be a problem? 

He´s kind, gentle and brave, sweet like eating ice cream and stand on tiptoe to give a kiss, where he laughs at that while he bends down to receive it in a show of compassion for your height compared to his, without caring about doing it in front of other people. And when the night comes, you still feel safe and sure that when the sun rises the next morning, he will still be just as he is.

Caring, kind, gentle, sweet and brave.

So this time, you just let it be, until Shoko chooses a table.

Her cute beauty mark adorns the glow on her cheekbone, happy and enjoying this free day with you and Suguru. You don't want to ruin it.

Perhaps for Yaga-Sensei this is a test of trust, and you trust them, you really do. Is just that... y ou feel that if you tell them it would be like introducing them to a whole new person and maybe they´ll ask questions that really have no answers because you don't even know them yet.

You just can't, you don't want to screw it up. Besides, even if it sounds as an excuse, this is not the best place to have that conversation. But Suguru already knows how to detect when there´s something wrong with you. He´s looking right at you, making you clench your skirt.

“Iced tea, somen and Kakigori please" Suguru place his order without taking his eyes off of you. On the other hand, Shoko makes a random choice with her finger, but no dessert. And you? Just an iced tea. You don´t really feel like eating right now.

Lately, it's been like that.

Shoko insists that you eat something, light at least, so like a lifeline you steer the conversation toward travel and food. Luckily, you achieve it. But after a while, the the topic is not very pleasant.

They talk about Satoru and how the higher up´s are starting to send him alone on the most dangerous missions more often, and you shift uncomfortable in your set.

It´s not haughtiness, but the world is very big and nothing is impossible. Sometimes it seems that many forget that Satoru is also a human being. And as if life patted you on the shoulder in agreement with you, a small spider crawls across the table. Shoko squeals and Suguru, with a bored expression crushes it with one of the napkins.

The venom of a small spider could paralyze someone as big as Satoru, and yes, the spider could easily be annihilated, crushed, but sometimes too late you realize that it's on top of you, too late to realize that it managed to bite you, subdued you. Satoru would bleed like any other living being, he would die anyway, just like the rest of mortals. You just really hope he does of old age and at peace, just like you want for Suguru and Shoko.

Your expression becomes a bit pained thinking about the future.

Would it become like this? The profession you guys follow... will you all be that lucky? Reach an old age? It´s a bit weird but you can´t imagine yourself as an old person, like Mrs. Ayaka.

You look at Shoko and you do imagine her getting old, and it makes you smile, a tranquility that fades when you look at Suguru this time, because you can´t imagine him with grayer hair, older.

At one point in the conversation, you get completely lost, resenting the thought of what the world would be like if Satoru or Suguru died. What would happen to Shoko, to you.

It hurts.

You start playing with the napkin, wondering if there´s a poison powerful enough to subdue him, them. You shake your head, surely Satoru doesn't think these things, and he had made it clear to you once. You don´t believe that a talent had to tie you to a profession, not everyone has to exploit it just because it is easy for them.

If you don't enjoy something, you just shouldn't do it.

The face Satoru made when you told him that he could quit and leave all behind if he wanted to. You had told the same thing to Suguru, who took it much better and was a softer in his opinion.

"We were born with this power to help those who cannot defend themselves. If not, why has it been granted to us? It´s our destiny, it´s our duty…"

Suguru said.

“Weaklings, pathetic…” Among other things Satoru said. “Who is going to do a better job than me? You?”

Satoru said.

Having that responsibility… was it really that bad not wanting it? You would happily help him lighten that burden, but being the strongest... you don't want that responsibility. But would you do it? For him? If it were within your means and you could make the sacrifice, you could order all the curses to die, even if it means dying. You would order people not to create more curses as if that was something they could control, saving people from their own prisons, that way you could also do it with yourself.

You would order him to understand.

You would love the cursed speech really worked like that, you truly wish your words had that kind of power, although what mattered most to you was the power of your words beyond the cursed speech. Could you ever be able to tell him something and make him feel it deep in his heart?

You wouldn´t dare.

You´re not that fearless and he can be mean.

You would order him to understand that there were people around him who didn't care if he was the strongest or not, that there were people who loved him for who he was and not for what the world expected him to be.

You look at your friends who are completely oblivious to your mental whirlwind and wonder if they´d do the same for you. If they´d accept this stranger, this tragic version of yourself you´ve been hiding from them.

The waitress approaches the table and you look away, not wanting to find out.

Too scare to find out.

“So…” Shoko takes a sip of her iced tea before continuing. “What´s the tea?”

You shake your head, feeling your heart ache. “It's nothing, I don't know why he said that."

Suguru and Shoko exchange a fleeting glance, and you feel exposed because you know they´re not believing you. Yaga-Sensei doesn't say stuff like that with all that suspense just because.

You hold your breath about to gag, feeling the emotions fighting to come to the surface while you try keep them drown. You´re about to swear them, but looking into Shoko´s eyes, at how attentive she´s looking back at you wondering what what´s going on inside that head of yours, for a brief moment you falter, you consider it. Even though you know you´ll be a crying mess.

You inhale deeply, or rather gasp for air.

“I… the thing is…” You swallow hard not knowing where to begin.

Your lineage, your mother or…

Shoko reaches across the table, taking the napkin from your hand. The softness of her hand envelops yours, and again, you take a raggedly breath before reciprocating her gesture, intertwining your fingers with hers in a gentle squeeze under Suguru´s attentive gaze.

“My… I-“

Like a shock wave, hot vibrations are felt throughout your entire being, electric currents from the tips of your toes to the crown of your head, just like before. All your senses, which should have been devastated, are heightened.

You loosen your grip on Shoko´s hand, turning behind you.

“Uh? Airi? Geto?”

A scream.

Then glass being burst followed by more screams.

Suguru was the first to run, the chair falling back the moment he stood up followed by you.

You felt relieve but immediately scold yourself when you see three people on the ground while the water from one of the large fish tank came out uncontrollably. Some of the poor fish gasped on the stained floor begging for their own oxygen, splashing red on the clothes of the people who ran towards the exit led by Shoko.

As people flee in terror, you walk through the large pond, sinking your fingers in the little water left in it while some employees try to rescue the angelfish and others begin to give first aid to the victims without success.

Closing your eyes, you´re playing with the angelfish, when all of a sudden your perspective changes. You're the one in the water, watching the still silhouette standing in the distance, and you begin to move faster and faster forward.

Toward you.

The angelfish swims away with the rest, only you outside the thick glass. And then…

“Airi! Shoko!”

When you open your eyes, you see the two curses Suguru summoned to start searching and kill, and Shoko at your side.

"Go, I´ll take care of it"

“I saw it, I know what it is”

“Huh? You saw it?”

You hold back from rolling your eyes, nobody has time to explain now.

"Just forget it, I'll stay here with you. This place is huge so it’s better if we split up. If you go alone, there´s a chance you and your curses won't find it in time before it keeps killing more people."

"Don't be stubborn! What if it finds you first?"

You don´t think about it too much anymore, baby steps.

"I'll scream really loud."

Suguru is confused, and amazed by the confidence with which you say something like that, without really understanding the meaning of your words. He doesn't want to underestimate you, but isn't there some reason you prefer working in an office?

Reluctantly, he ran towards where more screams were heard, not before asking you both to go where it was less crowded. Surely the curse will take advantage of the chaos to mix in and continue killing.

But unfortunately for Shoko, it was not the case.

Cautiously, you both advance through what remains of the aquarium, stopping when your shoes begin to make a splashing noise. The blue light and the fish above your heads are reflected in the large puddle of water under your feet. Then, when Shoko is about to ask you what you meant by “You saw it”, a guttural hiss makes Shoko´s skin crawl, just as yours.

You look at each other in silence when now, the hiss is heard not very far from where you are.

Taking a couple of steps forward, you notice the blue light reflected in the long water trail is turning red, until it fades away, going where there are no more colorful fish, where there is no more blue light.

Where everything is dark.

“Go find Suguru” You whisper, feeling your chest tighten. With a tingling sensation running through your body that you later recognize as adrenaline.

"Come with me, the place must be empty by now"

"Just go, quick"

Hesitant, Shoko obeys walking away, looking back until the turn in the hallway no longer allows her to see you, and there, she starts running. Her footsteps can no longer be detected by your ears, only the hiss of the creature louder and aggressive.

Stealthy, you keep following the wet trail, walking so attached to the thick glass of the pond at your right as if you were trying to absorb all the light you can from it, because there are only a couple more steps for you to be completely immersed in darkness.

The temperature is not as cold as you expected, yet when you hear the sound of the creature seemingly crawling, it still sends a shiver down your spine. As does the sand tiger shark that swam by the glass when you turned into the next hallway, making you flinch.  And almost at the same time, a heavy splash catch your ear, but the direction where it came from this time is far away, now at your left.

A trap.

Looking at the floor, you see how the blue light gently diffuses with its absence, and a s if it were an evil portal that would take you to another parallel world, you take a step forward leaving the light behind at your right.

These tanks are full of water but lack living beings for display, it looks terrifying. Watching the pond not being able to see what´s beyond your nose gives you chills, understanding those with Thalassophobia. And you're sure that all their nightmares are perfectly reincarnated in this being who finally shows himself.

You frown making a disgust and horrified gesture at the sight of such a hideous thing. Wet and dark blue and grey, as tall as Suguru. A humanoid eel with muscular arms standing on two feet dragging a thick long tail.

The curse stops surrounding you, stopping in front of you a few meters away. The quick and abrupt way it turns its head towards you makes you gasp, the erratic movement was worthy of a screamer for a horror game. It hiss again, raising its tail as it loses its shape turning into water, and just like a pressurized jet, it launches a direct attack.

The pillar behind you collapses after you dodge the attack, causing part of the roof to fall.

While it happens, a black shadow emerges from your right hand as you vanish from the curse sight. Your katana slides in a clean cut across its neck right behind it, waiting for its head to fall but the only thing running down from the cut instead of blood, is water. Then, your wide open eyes are filled with horror when the curse turns in your direction in the same erratic way, the vibrations coming from its throat turns deep, almost human.  

It was laughing.

Its disgusting hand goes towards your neck trying to grab it but all that remains in its hand are dark halos fading between his membranous fingers.

Yaga-Sensei will suffer from a heart attack once he finds out what you faced alone.

“You do have a name?”

The special-grade curse turns in all directions trying to find you, your voice like an omniscient being above it.

“Tell me your name”

Lack of sleep and missed meals begin to take their toll. Your heart can barely handle the adrenaline pumping through your veins, searching for a way to be used before it turns into draining physical strength.

“TELL ME YOUR NAME!” One more time, you try, luckily succeeding.

The curse takes a step forward as you appear before it in the midst of fading dark swirls with the snake eyes and fangs seal markings surrounding your lips, gathering all the forcefulness for what is to come.

“Ka- Kazemi…”

You don't want to hear that voice again, it makes you retch. You hate it and you hate even more that because of things like this, your sorcerers fellows die. And speaking of dying… You understand the cost of trying to do what you want to do, your body in these conditions may not cooperate to help you recover, so you wonder if it’s worth it showing yourself that you´re able to defeat this thing. But there´s something even more important than your stupid self-assessment, which makes the sacrifice necessary.

If you make a wrong step, the curse could go after Shoko and the rest.

May Suguru succeed if you fail.

You swallow hard and your throat stings, filling your lungs with air enjoying it like it will be the last while Kazemi begins to run, growling with all the intention of finish you. And right there, you wonder if this is the reason why you can´t imagine yourself growing old.

“DIE!”

What went up your throat landing squarely there, made you believe it hadn't been enough, made you believe that you were going to die at Kazemi's hands instead of exhaustion, because the curse didn´t stop. But if it wasn't enough, why was it burning like hell? It's as if a huge music speaker were inside every fiber of your vocal cords. Sweating, your heart is beating a thousand per second, doing your best to stay standing on your shaky knees when Kazemi stops right in front of you, growling just a few centimeters from your face.

Its lifts its arms losing shape trying to give a blow but all it does is falling to its knees remaining at the height of your chest. Its deadly arms that a few seconds ago were able to be a powerful pressure weapon as a firefighter's hose against fire were now a sad leak. And then, the thick glass of the enormous ponds around you begin to shatter and finally break, emptying.

The sound of exploding glass and Kazemi's agonizing growl mix together is the last thing you hear. And the grotesque creature seeming to be evaporating from within until it explodes, splashing boiled water and blood you thought it didn´t exists everywhere including your face, is the last thing you remember to see.

Now, you allow yourself to fall to your knees, flinching weakly at the feel of the hot mix from the curse fluids and the cold water. Your right hand tries to reach your ear where there´s a painful ringing, so loud that you can't even hear your own cough.

You close your eyes wanting to take a nap, and try to get in your feet, failing. Raising the knee, you place your left foot to a ground you don´t feel anymore, falling towards your side while blood comes out of your mouth.

And then everything turns black.

"...ri"

“Ai…ri?”

"Is she waking up?"

"Mizuki-san?"

"Airi-Chan? Can you hear me?"

Your body hurts horribly, it feels heavy and your throat burns, burns really bad. You don't want to open your eyes, but the voices won´t stop, so you do, and when you do the first thing you see is Shoko leaning against the front seat of the assistant car, with her attentive gaze is on you. But… her hair is gray, her beauty mark lighter in color and her skin is more wrinkled, just her eyes are the same.

You try to say something, you don´t even know what you wanted to say but you vocal cords didn´t let you, even swallowing is painful. Blinking, you look into her eyes and they are the same. Now her hair is rich brown and her skin smooth and young.

Your best friend.

She says its fine, you must rest.

So… its fine, you can rest now. Because seeing how her face completely lit up when you smiled was all you needed, to know that she would grow old.

“This was indeed a surprise”

The baritone voice next to your ear manages to wake you up better. Your sense of smell, when notes of tea, wood and leather pleasantly reach your nose. Your sense of touch as Suguru's thumb runs across your cheek.

You blink weakly, moving your head slightly to your left, looking up confused. Suguru´s lips are right in front of your eyes, feeling a pleasant tickle on your forehead caused by his warm breathing.

He's smiling, gentle, sweet, young, not old... relieved cradling you in his arms. “You had it well kept, huh?”

“I can´t wait to see Gojo´s face”

You frown at Shoko´s comment.

She has a huge smile on her face while the assistant laughs, relieved too. Then, Suguru says that they should take a picture once they tell him.

What are they going to tell him …?

“But… I thought those with the cursed speech couldn't speak freely, how come she can?"

Oh… so that´s it.

Baby steps, its fine.

Seeing them this relieved and calm is what you need. You don't want to take that away from them, you don't want to ruin it. So it's OK. This tragic version can remain hidden and maybe one day, when you get better, you can tell them everything.

For now, Suguru's fingers intertwined with yours, and Shoko excitedly texting Gojo was all that was right in this world.

That´s all you need.

ʚ ♡ ɞ

The sun is about to rise.

The already crowded streets of Shibuya welcome you after so many years, after so many times crossing its skies.

And you admit how it feels, how it makes you feel. The food stalls and restaurants that are still there, the ones that are no longer there, the karaoke bar, the osmanthus bushes letting fall their flowers adorning the damp ground... gold and orange under your new shoes. Soft herbal scent, peach and apricot brushing your nose.

When you left Jujutsu high a couple hours ago, all you wanted to do was not to have gone to that office in the first place. You needed to clear your head, and even though shopping wasn´t going to help (Neither the not so quick visit to the beauty salon for a blow dry, kind of), you didn´t want to keep wearing the wet clothes from last night, refusing to spend the night in one of the available dorms Yaga had offered you.

So you spent the last five hours of sleep in a hotel.

Spending the night at Ayaka's house wasn't an option either, you didn't want to scare her by arriving in the middle of the night all soaked by the rain, and given the circumstances, you couldn´t return to Osaka by air. From now on, you could not expose yourself with your beasts after the assault on the Zenin mansion.

Unless strictly necessary.

So, with your three shopping bags in hand, you're more than willing to get out of here by taking the train, but the smell of freshly baked bread, vanilla and coffee makes you wonder if you'd dare eat the first meal of the day in this city before you leave. And when you see the first customers through the large window with their steaming cups of coffee, receiving the first rays of sunlight emerging from between the grey clouds like a divine sign, you decide yes.

You would dare.

Before entering, you take a closer look at the facade of the place. The tall, two-story, almost English-style structure bursts a small bubble inside you, calling you. What used to be a colonial red with an old wooden sign hanging from a metal bar, is now an elegant moss green. The sign, rustic and illuminated with small yellow lights, also hangs from a metal bar, much bigger and polished.

This place… it used to be a secondhand bookstore, which many of its books are now on your bookcase in Osaka.

Suddenly the counter with the sourdough breads isn't enticing enough to get you in, but your stomach growls, encouraging you, telling you that a little nostalgia won't kill you, but morning hunger will. So you do, but not before stopping again when a strong gust of cold wind hits, bringing with it the sweet fruity scent of osmanthus.

And giggles.

Two girls run in your direction, both leaving a powdery trail as they pass by you.

From their uniforms, you can tell they´re heading to the train station. And something settles in the pit of your stomach and on your taste buds when the girls disappear into a farther corner but you can still hear the giggles. It´s not bittersweet but simply sweet, joyful. Just as much as when you eat your favorite food or when your favorite song comes on the radio although you know you can listen to it whenever you want on your phone.

You dare to close your eyes, watching the cherry blossoms fall on you, smelling the cigars, giggling.

Suddenly, your chin feels tense.

Your heart starts beating faster, aware of the grimace that begins to take shape on your mouth. Any sweet or joyful feeling, just as it came, went away. Everything is replaced by the noise of people, cars, the train, then the old karaoke bar, the sound of a kiss, the giggles, this city…

Fleeing in vain from what's inside you and not in the streets you´re trying to leave behind the walls in front of you, you finally enter the place. The doorbell trying to act like a snap of fingers in front of your eyes and when the doors closes, it muffles all the noise outside.

Just outside.

Music from an antique record player plays as you walk toward the crooked shelves of old oak full of books, feeling the smell of green tea, old paper and jasmine incense in the air while the warm ceiling light flickers in this part of the short hallway. The voice of the old man always reminding himself to change the light bulb as his wife laughs dusting the counter. You keep humming the song, then, the wood floor creaked slightly behind you, making you look up from the book in your hands.

Within my heart
I know I will never start
To smile again
Until I smile at you

“Do you like that song, don´t cha?”

“Good morning, miss, may I help you?”

The crunch of your sour dough toast makes you salivate.

The creamy avocado touches the tip of your nose very lightly while the steams of your cappuccino fills your nostrils with vanilla and cinnamon. Your stomach happy to be appeased, although this restlessness within you does not.

This limbo from which you never seem to have emerged... no closure.

You look out the large window, suddenly feeling too exposed, and wonder if among all these people, you'll ever see her again. If so, what would you say to her? What would she say to you? Would she say anything to you? Would her beauty mark on her lovely cheekbone rise, smiling? Or stay in place, cold?

You wipe the avocado off of your nose before taking another sip of coffee, suddenly tasting a bit bitter when something right between the glass and the dust cover catches your attention. Small and silver, sober and inopportune.

A lighter.

You look around assuming someone lost it, cursing the one who did.  And hesitant, you took it.

It feels cold on your warm fingers, and they move as if the object had always been yours. Opening the lid, your eyes stay glued to the small flame when the Kachi takes you away from here, to where the giggles were calling you and you refused to follow while the pair of blue eyes across the street couldn't believe his eyes. Yours caressing the hot slight waves, almost hypnotic and sweet, whispering about the fun and lovely moment.

Lovely because everything was so innocent when you both laughed.

It was lovely because when you were with her, you were happy.

April 25, 2005

The pink petals fall on both of you.

Both girls consumed by a fit of laughter, laughing so loudly, nervously trying to turn on the lighter.

The sound is contagious.

When Shoko fails on a third attempt, you try to do it yourself.

Succeeding, Shoko inhales and you fall back laughing even harder when she turns purple, coughing as smoke comes out of her nose and mouth.

"OI! Shoko Ieiri! Is that a cigarette!?"

Yaga-Sensei looks out onto the terrace while Shoko hides the cigarette under the small tea table.

"Of course not" she says, swallowing her cough.

And once more the laughter reigns.

Your teacher scolds you two when everyone can see the cigarette smoke rising from under the table.

"Did you come back for your gloves?"

The inoffensive flame fades once your eyes collide with Satoru´s intense blue quasars.

Out of the reverie, the ungracious and smooth way he appears in front of your table didn´t give you time to put a serious face. Especially when you see the white fine fabric that he wants so much not to get over peeking out between his long fingers. His knuckles look red, standing out like raspberries on creamy white, as if he had been walking outside for a while now. Dress in all black except for his dark gray coat and dark blue soft ombre rectangular vintage shades makes a noticeable contrast with your light color palette today. The white ribbed knit top looks lovely on you, the long sleeves and sweetheart neckline captivating him, just like the fit of your camel pants. Your long hair wavy again, as it always was, as he always liked it, framing those precious stones that now wants to see anything but him, he knows it, he feels it, as latent as this grief of never seeing those doe-eyes staring at him again, because only a sharp and wary look holds his stare.

"Such a nice pair to not get back, aren't they? So soft and warm” Satoru smiles, finishing ruin your breakfast when he takes off his thick coat, daring to take a seat.

Immediately, your nose notices the absence of fresh ozonic notes of years past. Only the wood, oud and blue hibiscus showing you the evolution of his maturity.

Not a stupid child anymore, but a stupid adult, of course whose presence here has a purpose… so, relevant or not, you´re ready to start walking on eggshells, again.

“How yummy are those avocado toasts?”

You don´t say anything.

Just watching him pretend to pay attention to the menu while suggestively place your cashmere gloves on the table, trying his luck because Satoru didn't think he would get this far. He swore that as soon as you saw him, you would run away like the first time.

But you didn´t.

Instead, you stood motionless with that lighter in hand, legs crossed staring at him while the sun bathes you in its soft light, looking like an angel who came to judge him before dying, because indeed he feels like it right now. You´re uncomfortable… he can tell, but he doesn't want to back down.

He can´t.

Losing a bit of his spirit and appetite, Satoru orders sweet tea and a piece of strawberry cheesecake, now aware of how easy it was for him to put you in this state. He wonders if he still has that power today, or if he's misperceiving it. If it's something else that rests in your eyes, that which you radiate with such danger.

So he doesn´t get too excited when the sweet plate arrives.

"Will you stay for the opening of the Ao No Dokutsu? It'll be on December 1st. They say it's very beautiful."

Too much blue for you, you would say. But he´s doing that again, not communicate. But it´s fine, you don´t want to try it, not with him anymore. Still, you say something that from the bottom of your heart, is true.

“I don´t think so, I never liked Tokyo”

He takes the first bite of his cheesecake, the strawberry topping sliding through the dessert landing on the plate, Satoru regaining his spirit when he finally hears your voice. "I understand, you always preferred quiet spaces, there are too many people here, too... mess."

And Satoru tries… he really tries but doesn´t quite succeed.

The mischievous smile on his face makes you want to slap him, knowing perfectly well that he´s trying to enter forbidden territory.

“It was a huge mess, you know?” His smile widens at the fire inside your eyes. A deep ocean against a thousand hells. “Don´t look at me like that, I´m not blaming you”

“I don´t know what you´re talking about”

“Come ooooon” Satoru looks like he's about to jump up and down in his seat excited to hear the story.

“I'll never smile again
Until I smile at you
I'll never laugh again
What good would it do?

You look away, as if you had seen something you didn't like, when it is your ears that are experiencing the discomfort. Closing the lighter cap, you leave it on the table, along with all the memories which will never really stop doing their cruel job when the songs starts playing. Then, the question with taste of sarcasm and resentment in your mouth begins to choke you, so you let it out softly… like a caress with a knife.

“Do you like them now?”

Satoru laughs, throwing his head back. Perhaps taking that as an unintentional confession, or because he knows very well that you know that's impossible.

He doesn't like them at all.

The little boy with the ten shadows had only been a glimpse of his calling, but it was a huge coincidence for you.

Which, by the way, felt terrible…

More uncomfortable than before, your eyes go from the window to under the table where the sparkle of your engagement ring lies hidden, making you feel comforted and protected for a moment, as perhaps at some point Megumi managed to feel when Satoru came into his life. Thinking that even if you don't like them either, soon, you'll be one of them.

And at some point Satoru will know.

Everyone will.

And yet, you can't help but wonder…

Your eyes goes surreptitiously from your right hand next to the lighter to Satoru's where suddenly the sleeve of your top is a dark blue like his. The bronze buttons cold against your fingers, very different from the heat on your cheeks noticing how warm his hands were, or how cold they were at other times. His fingers playing with yours while supposedly he was paying attention to the class, sometimes both hands clasped together resting on your lap and other times on his.

Yours, doesn´t seems capable of doing that much damage compared to his, strong and callous, of public knowledge that they are capable of destroying an entire country if he wanted to. But that comparison is not what makes you come down from this reminiscence but Satoru, who brushes his fingers with yours, just slightly, just enough to know this is real.

That the girl who had left him behind was in front of him, right here, right now.

That the song playing is not only in your head.

“For tears would fill my eyes
My heart would realize
That our romance is through”

And you didn´t expect it.

His shade are now resting on the bridge of his nose, letting you stare into his eyes like he rarely did in the past. Each one manages to catch a glimpse from each other from almost ten years ago, his deep blue are almost reflected in your eyes, where you see an emotionally neglected boy with a terrible attitude and him, he sees… what he thought you were. Not a somewhat fearful girl, too calm, weak, tender… but things he never told.

Words have power, but so does the absence of them.

Moving your hand away, you stand up putting on your coat, tucking your hair out of it staring right at the door where both girls were leaving with the books you had just bought. The incense erasing the smell of bread, the dust from some shelves stinging your nose instead of the sweetness of the coffee.

And behind them, the tall boy with an umbrella in his hand ask them to wait.

“Wait! Then you complain about frizzy hair."

“Airi”

It's been too much for this morning, your mind is exhausted. So to get this over with, you turn to him, letting him know he has your attention.

“Who´s the lucky guy?”

You know it would be in vain, to close your hand into a fist, clutching the straps of your shopping bags hoping the ring will be better hidden inside your sleeve when you see his eyes fixed on your finger.

So you don´t.

“You, remember?”

The winds are changing.

At this point anything can change the course of direction and you don't have much time to fit new pieces onto the board.

“I'll never love again
I'm so in love with you
I'll never thrill again
To somebody new”

Ok, he got it.

A tough nut to crack.

The soft cashmere gloves remain in place, forgotten.

Denied.

Satoru smirks, following your bouncy waves walking out the door, until he can no longer see you among the people.

Sighing deeply, he leans back in his chair taking one of the gloves, the fingers of the fabric being able to cover only a little more than half of his, obviously too small for him to fit.

Boring, he wave it in front of his face until it falls into his lap, and stands still for a couple of seconds watching his now bare hand, admitting that it was truly fair... that his hand, as strong as it was, was unable to hold yours, fragile as a leaf in autumn, and prevent you from leaving.

Although he would have liked it not to be the way you did it

Not the way he forced you to.

"Many say you're not human because of your strength, but I truly believe it's your lack of shame that proves you're not."

These currents appears, trying to bring him to his knees once again.

Satoru closes his hand into a soft fist, not wanting to think too much about it, grateful that the chair in front of him is now empty.  

He doesn't want his shame to be an obstacle but if forgiveness solved everything, what's the need for hell? Satoru knows very well that his words will have no value for this black swan, so free, unpredictable, sensual and angry, because his actions once did. And that's how you keep him in your memories, he´s not going to complain but… does it hurt when you do? You do? Remember him? At least that´s something.

He snorts, scolding himself, resting his chin on his hand looking at the half-empty cup when suddenly, a terrible desire to do something appears.

It itches, it itches a lot, and he just wants to scratch it.

Satoru stretch out his arm, taking your cup. The white porcelain was stained with a light cherry color, right where your lips were.  

His thumb runs over the lip balm stain, making the color fade a little and after taking a quick glance around him, Satoru reaches his thumb to his nose, not disappointed when he manages to smell the cinnamon and the slight sweet cherry.

"Did you hear what happened? The principal punished Geto Suguru because he was caught sneaking a girl into his room."

Satoru rubs his thumb against his index, the texture of the balm disappearing between his skin.

No… he´s not going to complain, he can´t.

He pushed you away, he pushed you towards… suddenly trying to say his name is like awakening a cursed spell, condemning him. His dreams would be slain, his bones would be twisted, his face would be eternally stained with the nostalgia and pain of his memories.

So he remains quiet.

They must be very sweet memories... right? He holds a special place in your heart, doesn´t he? Despite everything.

But him? He´s not going to complain.

He can´t.

"Would you like to order anything else, sir?"

“Within my heart
I know I will never start
To smile again
Until I smile at you”

And what about her?

Satoru stops at a traffic light, playing with the fingers of your gloves into his pocket, wondering if you miss her, your best friend.

He believes you do, and so does she.

Flowers don't live long without light and water, and you were no ordinary wildflower, no matter how many storms or droughts you managed to survive. Satoru doesn't know what will emerge from the earth, if it's still fertile once you see each other again.

He hopes it will be a beautiful, strong bud, one that won't wither as soon as it feels the wind.

He really does.

“Within my heart
I know I will never start
To smile again
Until I smile at you

Until I smile at you”

“ But look at those eyelashes! How charming...”

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!?”

"This will be your last job before you leave... I'm so sorry, child."

Life change within seconds.

For every little thing a person does or says can affect you or someone else without warning.

Someone else decision… can change a whole life, but spend their entire life with what ifs in their heads day and night is not healthy, the doubt can slowly kill you.

You know it, you´re almost a zombie.

You spend several years thinking on those what if´s, dreamed about it.

Asking nothingness how it would have all been and not receive a sad echo in response. But at the time it was better not to complain, somehow feeling safe with not asking because that's how your brain was wired, ever since you were a little girl.

It's what you got, and if it got you that way it's because that's how things should be. This way, you didn't had any kind of anxiety about not knowing what would happen next if you did something different.

If you said something.

You can only imagine, but what if… you go back to the cafe and ask him? Maybe in a couple more days you won't live to hear the answer.  Who knows? You had planned every step you take and yet something always gets out of control.

But, even though it would be the closure you want, would he be able to give you an answer? Was it your fault? Did you have all the power to change your destiny back then? The destiny of others?

In moments of vulnerability your mind was always filled with these ugly scenarios, and one of them always appeared. Its meaning… of all the other things, it was the one that hurt and scared you the most.

What would Satoru have done then if…. if you had been alone with him in the gym that day? If Nanami hadn't been there.

You stop in your tracks, starting to sweat, a heat rising up your neck making you angry.

He has no right to show up like this and interfere in matters that don't concern him, he has no right to speak to you, not even lay eyes on your shadow. But the fury you feel for his current shamelessness and cruelty is not as great as the one you feel for that naive girl who believed she was beginning to be brave back then.

Wondering…

If you have stayed… would he have started to behave like that more often with you? If Nanami hadn´t been there, cursing all the Gojo´s past generations that procreated so that Satoru would come to this world, would you have accused him? What would things have been like between you and him? Would he have helped you just out of guilt? Maybe.

He took under his care another complete stranger after all, most likely because of the same reason. And although the pain was difficult to bear, yet you were happy for that child who was saved from that same fate as yours.

But he knows what he did.

And truth be told, this should no longer be relevant, and although it cannot be forgotten or forgiven, what's done is done, nothing can change it.

No more what if´s.

You´ll never have your answer.

Forever and ever. it will be a sad echo.

˚ʚ ♡ ɞ˚

Inui Residence, Tokyo
7:48pm