Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Finn was out dungeon crawling, again.

Jake declared a week ago he was going to stay at Lady’s house, again, and even if Finn was bored as heck, there was no way he was gonna butt in to Jake and Lady’s biz. So here he is now, trying to pull a giant, rusty metal door open about 60ft underground.

The dungeon was intriguing and all, what with the decayed ladder showing the way underground, and the old computers (he didn’t know how old) making distorted, broken noises with cracked flashing screens, and the rotten, rotten food that even with the methods whoever built this place used to preserve it did not stand the test of time, but there was barely anything actually interesting here. No monsters to fight, no loot to collect, not even any clues to Ooo’s past or ancient human artifacts (he’s found those in other dungeons like this). There were just long, creepy hallways with barely functioning, flickering lights. It gave him a bit of a headache, to be honest.

He puts his foot on the wall next to the door to give himself a way to pull with more force, his calloused hands trying not to slip off the handle from sweat, but even with his strong grip, he still slips and falls backwards to collapse in the middle of the floor, out of breath.

Dang. There could be some really cool loot behind it, too. It would be nice, after nothing else was offered to him by the dungeon except for cockroaches, dust, and old mushrooms.

He tries pulling at it a second time, his face becoming redder as he lets out a noise of frustration. He clenches his jaw and pulls, and pulls. The door again does not budge.
It’s personal now.

“Come on, you stupid door! I gotta know what’s in there!”

He throws a stray pebble at it, and it makes an echoey clanging noise. No dent is made in the door, even with how hard he threw it.

He sits back down on the floor (which, now that he looked at it, wasn’t dirt, but again more metal covered in dust) takes off his hat, and lets out a sigh. Before, he would give up on this door (and on this dungeon) but now he closes his eyes, and does that thing Jake taught him—what’s it called again? Oh, yeah, meditation.

He breathes in (in for four) and breathes out (out for eight) breathes in… and breathes out… breathes in…and breathes out (keep your cool, now you’re great)…he opens his eyes with a small smile on his face. The frustrated red has since moved away from his cheeks.

he stands up from his spot on the floor, again displacing dust that looks like it hasn’t been touched in years (centuries, even).

“Okay. Let’s try this door thing again,”

He walks back up to the door, trying to heave it open for the third time, again planting one foot on the wall and one on the ground. He lets himself fall back, using his weight against the door as well, and all of the pulling he’d done before must have loosened it because it swings open, dragging the unbalanced human with it.

He lets go of the door and walks, sword drawn, into the next dungeon room.

It was like going into a freezer, it was so cold! Finn could even see his breath, not dissimilar to when he had to go to Sim—Ice King’s place when he’d either kidnapped a new princess (which luckily didn’t happen a lot anymore) or called them when he was lonely (which was still a lot).

The chamber he found himself in was huge, he wasn’t sure how all this could fit underground, with how short that climb down the ladder was. The ground was covered in mushrooms in here, peaking in between the seams of rusted metal covered in layers of dirt. It smelled like mildew and mold.

Maybe this place was a bit older than he thought.

There were still no monsters here (boring) and he sheathed his sword, but there WAS a panel of buttons and levers waiting to be pressed and pulled (ohoho).

Finn walks over to the panel, stares at it a moment, then, “Bzzt, bzzt, bzzt, beep boop, beep boop,” He flails his arms, pressing and pulling randomly. Nothing happens in the room, so they’re clearly defun—

The panel shocks him, sparks shoot out of it, and smoke rises from its inner workings.

“OW! What the bunk, dude?”

It seems it was not built for teen boy antics. Most things aren’t built for his antics, in fact.

He continues into the dark room, but now it seems his messing with probably-important tech had done something after all. Flickering lights turn on and reveal hundreds, maybe even thousands of pods.

One pod, center in his vision, had its light on.

He runs over to the one with the light. He couldn’t see if anyone was even inside (it was completely misted over) but he reached his hand to pull it anyway.

It cracks open, blueish mist settling on the floor. It was even colder than the room, and bit at his ankles. Despite this, Finn opens it all the way, the cold air that bit at his ankles before now spreads around him, like when you open an oven after heating it up and all the hot air hits your face. An unlatching sound, another hiss—

And a figure comes falling out, into his arms.

They open their eyes, seemingly taking in his face, and Finn does the same. Their hair is long, like his, and looks like it has been growing for a while. They’re dressed in a flimsy blue gown (it feels like it’s made out of paper)

…They’re human?

A hand reaches out to his face (it’s soft), the fellow human looking at him with wonder, and confusion, before falling limp once more.

Finn’s eyes widen.

“Oh, Glob did I just kill them? Oh Glob oh Glob oh Glob…”

He tries waking them up, shaking them gently, tapping the side of their face, he doesn’t want to get too roughhousey n his ways of waking the other human, like he would with Jake, so he’s mostly at a loss for what to do.

Well..

He could bring them back to the treehouse. Yeah, he could help them get better! Like other princesses have done for him in his times of need. He knows how to take care of someone who’s sick, even if that sick person was a dog, a human couldn’t be that much different.

And so he sets off, other human in his hands, carrying them out of the freezer room, and through the metal door, and through the long hallway, and up the ladder (that was harder than the other ones), and onto the grassy fields of Ooo to the treehouse where he resided with his brother.

Chapter Text

A blinding, green light piercing through the sky, panicked voices, screaming, people—no, monsters, chasing you, reaching out to you, liquid oozing out of their faces, hurried footsteps, rubble where your home once was, no time to bring your belongings, lost, confused, cold, cold, cold—

A dream, a very long one. Sometimes it scares you, sometimes it’s peaceful. You dream of a man, family, you know this, he holds your tiny body in his arms, smiling, making faces so you’d laugh. 

You dream of friends, or you think they’re your friends, you can’t remember their faces, or their voices, or anything, really, but the memory is happy, you think.

You dream of sadness. Not your sadness. A sadness shared with the man from before, who’d held you. There used to be a lady with him, everywhere he went. He did…something. It was an accident. They were in love, but she wasn’t there anymore.

You dream of fear, for the life of you you can't remember what, but it seemed like your whole world was ending. You were so, so scared. You ran far away, from whatever you couldn't face.

You dream of a sickness—was it you that was sick? You couldn’t remember, it was too foggy. It couldn’t be cured. There was blood in your hand. The others went off, they swore they’d come back for you one day, and then there was cold, again.

You dream, and dream, for years, for decades, and soon, your dreams decay, your mind along with it. It was like lovingly replaying a tape, over and over again, you can only watch it so many times before it degrades into static and noise. 

You don’t know how long it’s been, you don’t even know if any of it was real, at all. Maybe the life you’d thought you had was something you’d dreamt up, here in this cold, lonely place. 

Even if it was all real, you couldn’t remember their names, or yours. 

Sadness again, for a long while, and then for a long while again, was nothing. After teetering on the edge of death, listening to its promising taunts for so long, you finally give in, and—

Something—someone catches you before you fall.

You open your eyes.

Your long, long sleep which settles like a fog on your mind, clouding your thoughts, also clouds your vision, but you can still see him.

A boy, your age (you think) his hood (hat?) is pulled back to reveal long, blonde hair, which grazes your face as he leans over you. You can’t help but want to run your fingers through it in your sleepy state.

You reach out to him, his eyes still staring back, but you feel yourself being pulled back by your hibernation, by your dreams, and fall limp in the boy's arms.

Finn taps his foot anxiously, waiting for both his brother to get back, and for the other human to wake up. He’d made chicken soup, like Jake does for him, (it was amazing he didn’t biff it up, he biffs most foods up. Even frozen pizza like that one time, somehow) and covered them in blankets. Who knows how long you spent in that pod, cold and alone…

He keeps checking your pulse every few minutes, even though your breathing is steady.

He doesn’t know why he’s so worried about you. Maybe it’s just because you’re the only other human he’s seen in…well, the only human he’s seen since he fought the Lub-Glubs and found out Susan was, and since he watched Simon’s tapes. Yeah, that’s it! No other reason.

“Hey Finn! Come down here quick!” Jake’s muffled voice echoes upstairs from the bottom of the treehouse.

Finn glances at you, and then hurries down to Jake, down the ladder and to the front door.

“Whassup dude?”

“I lost my keys, could you open this for me?”

“We don’t have keys,”

“Oh, yeah” Jake opens the door, and closes it behind him.

Jake turns to Finn, “Did anything new and exciting happen while I was gone? We got any new mortal enemies?” 

“No. But there is…” Finn looks to the side and back, “...something,”

Finn led Jake upstairs as Jake regaled him with stories of his dates with Lady (Finn would’ve listened normally, Jake told good stories, but his mind was preoccupied) to where you lay on the couch, covered in blankets.

“So I was..what is it Jake,”

Jake was looking at him with that face again.

“Finn…”

Finn didn’t respond.

“Did you get a new girlfriend while I was gone?” Jake said in a teasing voice.

“I—wh—no!!” Finn stuttered, “They’re not even a—just let me explain!”

“Alright, alright I’m listening,” 

You were sleeping again, but you weren’t dreaming this time. You were somewhat aware, of being carried, of warm blankets, and of voices talking to each other, and one leaving. You couldn’t recognize them as anything you’d heard before, even with your memory worn down so far. They were new.

You again opened your eyes, after a much shorter sleep, struggling against the force that weighed them down, and saw the boy again (it was a hat) fidgeting with his hands.

“Awwh,” You slowly sit up, “my frickin’ head…” Your voice is raspy from years of no use, and you have the worst dry throat.

A surprised noise comes from the boy, and he turns to you.

“Ah! Uh..you’re awake,”

You stare at him blankly. Was this real? 

You reach out to his face again, fingers spread, and make contact with his little button nose. His face was warm, and he was real.

You retract your hand quickly, as if he burned you, “Sorry! Sorry, didn’t know you were there, haha..” You rub your eyes. “..where am I right now?”

“You’re at our treehouse. Me and Jake’s treehouse. I’m Finn. The Human. Jake went upstairs. He’s napping,” He spoke quickly, still a bit startled.

“Woah…” You marvel at your surroundings, despite the fact anyone else would think it’s a mess, and reeked of immaturity, “I’ve always wanted to live in a treehouse. Well, I think I have,” You turn to him, “My name’s……huh,” You blink.

“What’s up?” The boy—no, Finn, leans over to you.

“I…can’t remember,” Your eyebrows furrow, and you put your hand to your head. Man, this headache is killing you.

”Hey, take it easy, okay?” He puts his hand on your shoulder gently, “You were—”

A tiny blue robot pops out from god knows where, “Well that’s okay! We can just make you a new one!”

“AH!” You jump up from your blankets, almost falling over again and having to lean on the armrest of the couch.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, that’s just BMO,” Finn turns away from you to whisper at the robot, “You can’t just spook ‘em like that, they’re sick,” 

“I can be a doctor!” The robot protests.

“No no, BMO,” Finn shakes his head, “this is serious,” 

“I can be a serious doctor!” The robot protests again.

“BMO. This is se-ri-ous,” Finn pronounces each syllable in the word.

BMO frowns. “Fine, Finn, if you want it that way, I won’t be a serious doctor…I’ll just help them with their name! Like a nurse who delivers the babies,”

You get over your shock of seeing a walking, sentient robot (Very normal. All of this is normal) and sit back down by Finn. You decide, maybe it would be okay to have a nickname, at least until you remember what your actual one was. It would be more convenient than people having to come up with alternate ways of calling you.

“What’s my name, little guy?”

“Your name is…” The robot begins shuffling letters and numbers on their screen of a face, “XXCQ! No, no that’s a bad name. Your name is…KJ2-X! No, that is also a bad name. Your name is…Moth! No-”

“I like it! That one. Let’s stick with that one,” You interrupt him before they can continue.

“Aw man..I haven't gotten to use my name generator in so long…” 

“I like it too,” Finn jumps in, “It sounds cool. Moth,” He says it in a dramatic voice, you snort, then respond in the same dramatic tone, “Thanks, Finn,” and you both let out giggles, the tiny robot joining in, no longer trying to keep quiet for the dog sleeping upstairs.

Speaking of the dog, the noise of him making his way downstairs goes unnoticed by you two, until he stands, waiting for you to notice him in front of the couch you’re both sitting on.

“You guys woke me up,” He whines. 

He…talks? You know what, so much weird stuff has happened today you’re just gonna go with it.

“Ah, darn, sorry Jake,”

“It’s okay…hi weird pod kid,”

“Hi Jake…wait, what?”

“Finn found you in a pod and I don’t know your name, so I’m callin’ yous pod kid. Finn, are we still takin’ them to Doctor Princess at some point?”

“Their name’s Moth now, and I…” He draws out the letter, “…completely forgot about that. Yeah, we should,”

“You found me in a pod?”

“Yeah. With a bunch of other ones, too. We can go back if you want,”

Trapped. Cold. Dreaming. Blood on your hand. Monsters. Horrific green light. 

Your voice raises on octave, “Hmm, nooo, we don’t have to right now,” 

“Alright, whatever you say. We don’t need to go back if it bothers you,” Jake says. You like him, you think; he’s chill.

Jake walks off to pour himself morning coffee, and starts talking to the three of you from the kitchen, “Anyway, if we wanna get to her soon, we’re gonna have to leave when the sun rises,” 

BMO stares out the window, quiet for a second, “The sun’s rising,”

Jake groans, and puts down his coffee. “Okay…Finn go get your backpack together, Moth, uh…just follow him,” 

“I want to go too!” The robot waves its arms.

“BMO, you can come with me, we’ll wait outside for ‘em,”

Finn gets up to walk to presumably his room, and you follow, leaning against the wall. To be fair, when you haven’t used your legs in years, it’s hard to just start walking again. He opens a drawer to reveal several swords, daggers, knives, and other wares, and you stare in awe.

“Are you guys, like..adventurers or something?

“Yeah! We’re, like, heroes around here,” 

Your eyes sparkle.

“Coool..can I have one?”

“Of these?”

You nod, eyes still sparkling.

He looks at the assortment of weapons absolutely not fit for someone who's most likely been in a coma, and can't walk without help, “Sure, but be careful,” He picks up a dagger he deems appropriate for someone unfamiliar to fighting, and passes it over to you, handle first. 

You turn it in your dominant hand, and it feels…right. Like you’d used one of these before. 

A vague memory, a flash.  Monsters, slime oozing from their faces. You needed to protect them, someone said. Was it you?

You can see yourself in the reflection and oh, boy, that’s one hell of a situation. Your eyes and face were sunken, hair grown out, long and tangled, you look like you haven’t seen the sun in years. Yikes…

“You ready?” Finn calls you, noticing you were zoning out.

You snap back to reality, “Yeah, let’s go,”

You lean on him as he helps you walk, and you both make your way down from his bedroom, through the living room, down the ladder, and into the entrance, or the treasure room, if you want to call it that, and out the door. He helps you up onto Jake’s back, and BMO settles in your lap.

“Where too, hero of Ooo?” Jake questions the taller of the two humans on his back.

“TO THE CANDY KINGDOM!” Finn responds, in another dramatic voice.

Candy kingdom? Ehh, like you said before, you just gotta go with it. “To the Candy Kingdom!”

“To the Candy Kingdom!!” The tiny robot chimes in.

And as the four make their way to the Candy Kingdom (and by proxy, Doctor Princess and Princess Bubblegum), an entirely new story begins.

Chapter Text

You’d been on your way to the Candy Kingdom for about 20 minutes, based on the fact that the sun had completely risen over the horizon, and you four had left when it was just beginning to rise. Ooo (you’d since learned it was called that) was a wonderful place to live from what you’d seen of it so far (which was just the grassy plains and the mountains of the Ice Kingdom and the Candy Kingdom in the distance). You don’t remember too much from before, but you know this is definitely better. 

Speaking of before.

You’re tempted to ask where the rest of the humans are. Yeah, this world was a bit strange, so maybe human kids living in a treehouse in the wild without parents was normal (though you highly doubt it), but you still wonder where others like him and you are. How long were you asleep for? A year? Two years? A whole decade? No, that’s probably too long. Maybe you’d been transported into a different dimension altogether. Was the man who’d held you, the one with the milky eyes and the kind face still here? You do want to see him again, even if it’ll be weird that you don’t remember him.

Your thoughts are interrupted as Finn groans from where he sits in front of you on Jake, “Dude, can’t you go any faster?”

“I’m tired, Finn, I just woke up. And you guys didn’t let me have any time for coffee,” Jake responds, normally energetic voice made monotone with tiredness.

“You were the one who said we had to go when the sun rose,” Finn argued.

“I..well..yeah okay, you’re right,” Jake gives in, not having the energy to disagree with Finn.

The stillness that comes with the early morning permeates in the air, the animals (and people) still waking up.

“So is everything in the kingdom made out of candy?”

“Yup, the people, the trees, the food…”

“The. The food.”

“Yeah?”

“...isn’t that, like. Cannibalism? If they’re also made out of candy?”

“No dude it’s, like…it’s like how eating meat is for us,”

“Ohhhh…so they’re eating tiny little hamburger versions of themselves,”

“Noo no it’s not like that either!” Finn laughs, “It’s…well. Yeah it’s like that a little,”

“Man. this place is weird,”

“It’s not that weird…not to me at least,”

“No, don’t worry, I think it’s cool. Weird and cool,”

The tiny robot sits up in your lap, “You hear that, Finn? You’re weird!”

“What! BMO, I’m not weird! I’m your average teen boy!”

“What? Dude you’re, like. The furthest thing from average. All of us are weird,”

“And what’s ‘average’, Moth kid?”

You laugh, “Definitely not this. And I’m literally your age,”

“Weirdos forever!” BMO throws his arms up, “And you’re weird too, Jake,”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m weird too..” Jake says from under them, a smile on his face.

A looming pink castle soon comes into view, one building in the center with the top of a tree shooting out of it (presumably where their ruler lives) and houses sprinkled below it where the citizens live. On the edge of the wall surrounding it are two imposing gumball machines, almost the size of the castle itself, and towering over the kingdom below,”

Finn raises his arms and gestures to the castle, “Preeeesenting the Candy—Uh oh,” He lowers his arms, worry now lining his face.

“They’re under attack!” Jake exclaims from under the two of you, and before you can get a good look at what’s happening, he lets both of you off and stretches back down to his normal size.

He turns to you, “I’ll go help Finn, you stay here with BMO. You better not die while we’re gone,”

And then he stretches away with Finn, who’s already rushing into battle, leaving you here, useless.

“Yay! I’ve never had someone to sit back with me and watch my homeboys fight the bad guys!

You pat the robot on the head, “No, BMO. I’m going in there with them,”

“But what about your sickness? Finn said you needed a serious doctor!”

You stand up on wobbly legs, and hold out the knife given to you by Finn, “It’ll be fine, little dude. I gotta help them somehow. Pay them back for doing…all this for me,”

“Wait, Moth!—”

And then you run off (as best as you can run anyway), into the fight.

Finn slices off the freshly regrown hand of the mutant oozer, dodging its attempts to claw at his chest, and sink them (if it had those. They looked like just fingers) into his chest, spreading the mutagen from it to him. 

Jake is doing marginally better than Finn, blocking the mutants from attacking and staying by the kingdom’s borders to throw them out altogether, where the gumball guardians would take care of them, and he stretches into a big wall to prevent any more from crawling in from the breach in the kingdom’s wall.

Finn punched one oozer out of the way, slamming his foot on it and stabbing through its chest, before turning around and slicing off the head of one who was coming up behind him. He turns his head a high-pitched scream, and runs in the direction of what he now sees is a kid surrounded by the oozers. He runs up behind them, and in one big swipe slices through the broken down and mutated muscle and nerves, letting their bodies fall to the floor next to their heads. 

The kid, who has huddled into themself, now turns around to see who it is that saved them. A big smile spreads on their face when they see that Finn, the famed knight of the kingdom, is the one who did.

“You’re my hero!” They say in a high-pitched voice, unable to annunciate the ‘r’ sound like most children.

Finn smiles back at them, “It’s what I do, little dude,” 

The triumphant moment is broken up when more oozers make their way over to them, Jake yells from the wall, “I’m sorry dude! I couldn’t hold ‘em all!”

“It’s okay Jake! We just gotta punch our way outta this! I love you!”

“I love you too, man!

Finn turns around to the kid, telling them to run and hide, quick, and again runs back to slice off the heads of the horde. He cuts his way through them to Jake, to take them on as a team, but soon finds them again crowding around him like they did around the child. They closed in on him in a circle, grabbed and clawed at him, their fingers making marks where they’d pulled at his arms.

Finn exclaims in frustration —he’s never seen this many before—but still doesn’t give up. He has to protect—

A battle cry, and he’s pulled out of the circle. 

He looks around him, trying to find the mysterious force that’s just saved him, and finds…

…is that Moth?

They slice through the head of the one that was just attacking him, fueled by adrenaline, and kick the others to the ground, stomping on and ripping off their heads to kill them. They grab onto one of the heads and spin it in their hand, using it to again knock down the others, and stab through the backs of their necks. The paper gown they’re wearing is dirtied by the chocolate ground, and soon the only thing they’re surrounded by is headless, dark green, almost rotting bodies, knife now stained with green blood.

They wipe off red blood from their mouth, and push their hair from their face. Finn can’t help but stand there and look, transfixed.

Their legs then shake underneath them, and they collapse on the ground, letting out an ‘oof!’.

Finn snaps out of whatever trance he was in, and runs over to them.

“Holy Glob, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I just…saw you in trouble, had to help. Kinda got lost in the fighting though,”

“Me too…” (he was more lost in their face than lost in the fighting, but it was whatever. He wonders if he could watch them fight the mutants again)

He extends a hand to help them up (their fingertips graze, and he swears he can feel sparks flying between them. His face feels hot, probably from his adrenaline wearing off. Yeah, that’s it.), and slings their arm over his shoulder, so they can use him as support.

“Holy zamole, you guys were awesome out there! Sorry I couldn’t help you, Finn,”

“It's all good man, don’t worry. Moth had my back,”

“But I’m supposed to have your back, too…”

“You can’t always do that though. You gotta have the rest of the CK’s backs, too,”

“The ‘CK’?”

“Candy Kingdom,”

“Ohhh right,”

You interrupt the brothers’ conversation with an involuntary cough, and a groan.

“I think I need a hospital, you guys,” you raise your head from where you’re leaning on Finn’s shoulder.

Finn’s eyes widen, “Oh shoot! We gotta go, Jake!”

“Don’t forget the little robot kid!” You say slightly louder from Finn’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t gonna,” Jake stretches over to where he and Finn had previously left you and BMO outside of the danger.

Doctor Princess was nice, she’d given you a lollipop when Finn and Jake brought you to the kingdom’s hospital (which Finn had a designated bed at. You wonder if you should be more worried about him) and you now lay on your own bed, waiting for her to finish with your physical therapy plan. You’d also changed out of your old hospital gown, and been given a new, softer, cleaner one that didn’t risk infecting you. 

You’re still talking with Finn after Jake had pulled out a copy of Ble, bored of your conversations. It was so fun to listen to him, and see his smile with all his missing teeth, and watch him laugh at your jokes (only sometimes. Most of the conversation was him, and seeing him crack up at his own jokes was adorable by itself).

“..it turns out Ice King was right all along. Bubblegum was possessed,”

“Who the heck’s Ice King?”

“Oh, just some old fart that’s got a weird obsession with—”

“Princess Bubblegum?” A nurse wandering around the room, tending to other patients, gasps in reverence. “Your majesty,”

An imposing figure stands in the doorway, golden crown adorning her head,  bubblegum pink hair reaching her waist, dress reaching the floor, and a sense of command and control emanating from her.

“Hello, my sweet subjects,” She kneels down to the nurse’s level, talking to her as if she’s her child (which she is, kind of), “I have come for the hero that fought with my knight today, have any of you seen them?”

“Over here, princess!” Finn calls out.

The tall, tall woman now stands over you, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated, before she kneels down by your side, kisses your cheek, and declares you her hero.

“Sorry we had to meet this way, though. I’m Princess Bubblegum, sole ruler of this kingdom. I trust you’ve met my knights already?”

“Y-yeah, I have, um…I’m Moth! The human. Your majesty,” You make an attempt of a bow in your hospital bed, but it doesn’t bode well. You’re still a bit flustered from her kissing you, to be honest. 

An expression you can’t decipher flickers on her face for a moment when you say human, but she covers it up with a smile too quickly for you to see it. “Well, thank you again for saving my kingdom. We’ll have a ceremony tomorrow, in your honor,”

“A ceremony?”

“Don’t worry, dude. She does this all the time for me and Jake, it’s fun,”

“Yeah, you two are my loyal knights. Of course I have to make sure the parties are fun, otherwise what’s the point?”

“I…Thanks, your majesty. I dunno what to say!”

“Well, you can start by calling me Bubblegum, you don’t need all those formalities. I don’t bite,”

“..Okay, Bubblegum. Princess. Am I doing this right?”

She puts a hand on your shoulder, “You’re doing great,”

Human? Human?

The moon hung peacefully in the sky, over a treehouse in a field  where a group of three played the ancient game of uno, one with his hat off after taking a shower, and his long, shiny hair almost reaching the floor, one still wanting to run their fingers through said hair, and one actually winning at the game, and also over a cold lab in the heart of a sweet-but-sour kingdom with eyes spread all over Ooo.

Bonnie scrubbed through all the security feeds of all of the cameras she’d set up beyond the candy kingdom.As far as she knew, humans had gone almost extinct after some world-ending, self annihilating event called the Mushroom War, save for Finn and whoever his biological parents are (or were. Most likely were). There were rumors of them escaping to islands far away, like how Marceline told her about the humans she’d saved from the vampires, but she doubted that to be true.

If there was some other way humans had survived, maybe some underground civilization, or cloning, or time travel, or whatever else, she had to know about it.

Soon the moon once again left the sky, the uno players mentioned before had fallen asleep at the table, although one of them would soon knock over their crutches given to them by Doctor Princess, waking them up. The Princess notices the rising sun, too, and pauses scrubbing through the footage for now. She has candy people to take care of, and a ceremony to prepare for.

As she leaves the room to fix her messied hair, a screen still playing back the events of the past few days shows a boy carrying the human mentioned before, with no hat but still recognizable who..

..and something else following them out. 

Chapter Text

You sleep in the makeshift room you’d made with Finn a few days ago, after you left the hospital, the only “wall” separating you from the treehouse’s living room being a blanket attached to a string by safety pins. Your hurriedly-made bed is in reality a pile of pillows, and you were ninety percent sure the blanket covering you was a skinned bear, but you were currently very happy to remain unbothered.

“Psst. Psst. Moth. Moth. Moth. Hey Moth,”

You roll over. Maybe the sound will go away if you ignore it, you think.

“Moth. Moth. Mothhhhhhhhh,”

You turn to the source of the noise, blinking through the drowsiness, “Whu-huh?”

“Award time. Day. Candy Kingdom ceremony. Party. Party thing,” Finn’s still in his red pajamas (you think it’s called a onesie, he thinks it’s called footies, you’ve agreed to disagree) with a look on his face similar to a toddler high on sugar waking up their parents to tell them it’s Christmas.

What is he..?

Ohhhh right, the thing. You should have had it a few days ago, but Doctor Princess insisted you stay inside and recover, especially after your whole mutant-fighting incident just a day after your coma, so it was postponed. PB said there were no worries, luckily. As off-putting as she was in your first meeting, you’ve come to like her in the few calls and texts you’ve had with her.

You blink twice at him, “…now?”

“Well..no, but it starts in, like…”

Finn looks at his wrist. He is not wearing a watch, so you hope he knows the time already.

“…five hours, so that means we gotta start gettin’ ready nowzers if we wanna make it there and have enough time to chill before,”

You stare blankly, before letting out an “Okay, I’m up, I’m up…” rolling off your bed, and ending up face down on the floor, “Nevermind, I’m down,”

Finn fake-gasps dramatically, and shouts in a whisper voice to not wake the other two inhabitants up, “What! Moth No!” 

You roll over again to look up at him, “Avenge me, Finn…tell my ghost how epic and cool the party was…bleh,” You then let your head fall back.

“Nooooooooooooooo!” Finn again cries out in the same whisper voice, before you look up at him again, both of you bursting into giggles. 

“Okay dude, I’m gonna get dressed real quick. Is Jake coming with?”

“Nah, not today. Actually, maybe today. He usually just shows up in the middle of these things,”

“What, so he doesn’t have to commit to going beforehand?”

“More like he’s too busy napping,”

“Hmmm…I respect it,”

“A good nap is always respect-worthy,”

“Word, my guy. Word,”

The ceremony was…more fun than you expected. Even if it was pushed back, it was worth it. Kind of. In the first part. Now you’re just overwhelmed.

There was food ( god, you hadn’t eaten actual food in a while, no you were not counting the old spaghetti in Finn’s freezer. Half of the pizza was gone, just because of you) and fruit punch (it luckily did not come from the off putting fruit punch candy guy, you were relieved to learn.), which you’d gotten in a clear plastic cup and were now sitting alone at a table, staring into it.

You hadn’t joined in with the other princesses (you’d since learned there were more. You’d spent a bit talking to some of them. One is apparently supposed to be ruling a kingdom in space, but lives in the woods on her own. You’re curious on how that could’ve happened), and instead opted to mope off in the corner. You stay here partially because you couldn’t join in with them, really, even if you could somewhat walk now Doctor Princess said not to put too much weight on your legs, and partially because you were thinking .

The very distant, and yet very recent memories of whatever had happened before still loom over you, even at this party. You weren’t sure if you couldn’t remember because of the time you spent asleep, or if you’d just repressed it all. 

Speaking of that, it’s been, what, a week? Since you woke up from dreaming? And now you’re in this weird, weird world you know even in your state is not normal. It’s so surreal here, it’s almost like you’re dreaming again.

How long were you asleep? For things to be so different? A year? A decade? Two decades?

No, that’s too long, you decide. One decade is considerable, though. 

Finn, despite this ceremony being for you, finds himself in the center of the dance floor, surrounded by the cheers of the candy people and the princesses attending. 

“FINN! FINN! FINN! FINN!” 

Soon the crowd joins in, and what was once the center of the dance floor becomes a soup of people, with Finn having to wade his way out of them now that he’s practically being crushed. As much as he is the life of the party, he doesn’t want to get too carried away and wake up in some weird dungeon with a headache like last time.

He hurries away from the chaotic dance floor, taking refuge at the empty tables with abandoned half-eaten pizza and away from the growing crowd of people. He spots you, still solemnly staring into your cup, and decides to squeeze past the tables to make his way over, and plop down next to you.

“Hey,”

“AH!” You jolt, “Oh, hey Finn,”

“What’s the ups with yous?”

“Hmmm I dunno, just…thinkin’ about stuff, I guess,”

“What’s ‘stuff’?”

You look away for a moment. You should probably tell him about it, but you only settle for half-truths, “This ceremony thing is over to the whelming, man. it’s like I got the medal, and then just…blah!” you wave your hands in a big gesture.

Finn is silent for a second before speaking, “Well we could…y’know…” he brushes a stray blond hair out of his face, “...get outta here,”

“…Whaddaya mean?” 

“Get outta here. Like…I could show you all the cool stuff when it’s not covered in monsters,”

You think for a moment. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that,”

He gets up from the table, hitting his knee on it and wincing as he does. Brushing over that, he extends a hand out to you, and you take it. God, he is such a goofball.

He pulls you up and leads you out of the party, through the crowd of too-hyped candy people, and into the now almost night land of the Candy Kingdom, with banana guards still scraping off the remnants of the mutants you’d fought a few days before. You’ve almost gotten used to the sickly sweet smell of it here. Almost. You’re glad you live in the treehouse instead right now. 

“Where to, Bear-Boy?”

“We’re gonna go to the top o’ that thingy up there,” He points to the tree sprouting out of the castle.

“And we’re gonna eat all the pizza I stole?” You offer, showing him your backpack that was somehow stuffed with pizza boxes.

“Wh— Moth! You can’t steal, it’s wrong!”

“I can if it’s pizza kinda meant for me. I mean, I feel a little bad, but these candy people just eat candy. Like, exclusively. It’s weirding me out,”

“It’s normal…for them. But yeah, you’re right. I can’t turn down a pizza, it’s against my hero code,”

“Is it really?” 

“No, I made that up just now,”

You snort. “You’re such a goober,”

Finn’s smile changes to a look of confusion, “Is that bad?”

“No, no! It means you’re like, a silly little goof,” 

“Ohhh, oh, I see…I’m taller than you though,” He rests his arm on your head, in a teasing gesture. 

Something in you seems to short-circuit then. Finn has to wave his hand in front of your face to bring your zoned out self back to reality, and you also have to wave away the heat in your face as you talk. “Ohh, conked out for a bit there. Sorry,”

“You’re sure you’re good?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Race you to the tree!” You abandon him, using his (rightful) concern to get ahead of him, and sprint towards the towering plant.

“That’s not fair! You got a head start!” Finn yells at your already-distant figure. He can’t help but smile as he tries to catch up with you.

Bubblegum also left the party early. She pulls her hair up into a ponytail, slips into her labcoat, and leans forward with both on a table covered in miscellaneous data tables and ripped-out journal pages. Currently squeezing in through the window is Marceline, umbrella up to protect her from the soon-to-be-gone late evening sun.

Bubblegum sighs, before turning around to face her girlfriend (Friend? Ex? It was complicated, they were taking a break from each other, it was hard to assign labels to them like she could to everything else).

“You lived during the Mushroom War, right Marci?” 

“Yeah…? What’s this about?” Marci’s puzzled voice changes mid-sentence with an added twinge of concern.

“Were there any stasis pods? Or cryo junk? That the humans could use to preserve themselves through time?”

“Bonnie. What are you talking about,”

“There’s this new kid that showed up with Finn one day, a human kid, they’re at their ceremony right now but I scrubbed through my security footage, and I found this—”

The princess shows Marceline a frame of Finn carrying an almost-dead looking human out of a metal hatch embedded in the ground.

“—and I think this human could be from some sort of stasis biz,”

“Bonnie, no mortal could survive for that long, even in stasis,”

“But what if they did? And now they’re getting radiation sick, or they’re irradiated and they’re making everyone else radiation sick, and-”

“I think you need a break from the lab, Bon,”

“But…but I just got here,”

Marcy takes Bubblegum’s hands into hers.

“You’re been in here non-stop for the past few nights. I hear what you’re saying, and we can talk about that… after you chill for, like. A few days,”

“Marci, do I have to?”

“Well…yeah. Sorry,”

Bubblegum sighs again, less out of frustration this time, “Can we go to your place, then?”

“O’ course, Bon-Bon,”

The vampire picks up the sleep-deprived princess, now able to fly without the umbrella as the sun has now gone below the horizon, and cuts through the air in the direction of her house.

You swing your legs from where you sit next to Finn on the tall, tall tree, overlooking the kingdom and Ooo, whose land was speckled with dots of light mirroring the sparkling sky.

They look different, the stars. Wrong. 

Just another weird thing about this weird place.

“Sooo Moth. Would you rather fight a hundred bear-sized bees, or a hundred bee-sized bears?”

You take a bite out of your pizza, “A hundred bee sized bears, easily. I could just shut them out,” 

“But what if some of them get in the house? And you don’t know where they are?”

“Well one I wouldn’t let that happen, and two I’d hope for the best..the bears own the house now,”

“Whaaaat? Don’t give up that easily!”

“I can’t stab a bee-bear, they’re too tiny. At least they can’t sting,”

“Well I would squish them for you, with a newspaper.”

“Thanks, dude…”

Finn swings his legs from where he sits on the branch, suspended in the air. It’s a clear night, the full moon able to shine at full brilliance. It was thankfully quiet, too--no one in trouble to disturb the two humans at the hangout spot. He brings his legs back up when reaches for another pizza from the box, and he…aw, there isn’t any left.

He turns back to you, opening his mouth to ask if you could hand him another box, when he feels a sudden weight on his shoulder. 

Oh. You fell asleep on him.

He freezes up. His heart feels like it’s trying to squirm its way out of his chest (out of embarrassment or excitement he couldn’t tell, maybe both), and his face very quickly heats up red. Someone could very easily mistake him for a tomato at this moment. If his brain hadn’t suddenly stopped working just now, he would be happy to fall asleep with you in this moment, but the sudden wave of emotions hitting him froze up his voice, too.

Shoot.

I think I have a crush.

Chapter Text

The teacher is probably saying something to do with math, but you (along with the rest of the class) are not paying attention, because the particular way this teacher goes about educating renders the subject completely uninteresting to you. You don’t know what the others are thinking about (maybe they’re also staring at the clock and counting down seconds like you are) but you, for one, cannot wait to go home.

You doodle passively in your notebook (little mushrooms, eyes, heads of characters you’d just made up, etc.), in a way that looks like you’re taking notes or paying attention at all to keep away from the dreaded cold-call of the teacher, who was partially blocking your view of the whiteboard. 

…

Your pencil leaves the paper, now twirling in-between your fingers. Nowadays, you have so much to worry about in the future. Where will you go to college (even though you’re only in your second year of highschool), how will you catch up on late homework, how will you make it through the next day with how overwhelming school can be—all things plaguing your mind. 

(Sometimes you wonder if the world will survive long enough for you to make it through high school).

Finally, the bell rings, and you can feel the collective sigh of relief from the crowd of students as the teacher attempts to tell the students to study and go over their homework after they’re finished (you’re sure maybe your grades would be better if you did, but telling highschoolers to study after the last class of the day was like attempting hold water between your fingers).

You struggle through the crowded hallways (plenty of “excuse me”’s are muttered) collecting your heavy backpack from the locker and letting out a puff of air at the sudden pressure from your back on your lungs. 

You stand at the bus stop, anxiously swaying back and forth on your heels, before a buzz comes from your back pocket.

Phone!

Two unread messages from Marsha: 

hey sooo im sorry this is kinda late but

its my bday this weekend nd i wanted to ask ahead of time if you wanna come

i didnt know ur personal email so i kinda sent the evite to ur school one…hope thats alr with u

You start typing back,

its all good dw! thanks for inviting me! ofc i wanna come

i dont have anything this weekend so i can go lol

thx again ! 

Three dots appear on your screen,

cool ^_^

cant wait 2 see u there 

You turn off your screen, placing your phone back in your jacket pocket, anxiety now overwritten with excitement (and nervousness, you don’t usually like the over-the top parties thrown by most kids your age (they reek with peer pressure) but Marsha’s are an exception), and you’re still half-smiling when you board the bus that took too long to get there.

You very soon find yourself scrolling through your various social medias once you get home, barely absorbing any of the news and instead focusing on the fanart of your latest favorite (the news talked on and on about experimental bombs with ‘mutagenic’ properties that, according to the stressful headline likely designed to make you feel worse, were what they could use in the worst case of war to both begin it, and end it all at once), you ignore them as you scroll by, however; shit like that shows up all the time and it only serves to make you more anxious.

You sigh. You don’t want to do homework on a Friday…

Collapsing onto the beanbag in your room, you opt to nap instead until your parents get home or until they wake you up for dinner. You know that future you will hate you for putting all the homework on them, but right now? You’re enjoying dozing off knowing you won’t have anything to do tomorrow.

Jake is once again enjoying his alone time in the treehouse. It’s not very often he can sit in the quiet of the morning, when the world isn’t really awake yet. 

The couch was missing a few pillows, though. Most likely in the pillow fort-slash-room Moth stayed in (Jake normally wouldn’t let someone stay this long, but Moth doesn’t have anywhere else to go. And he kinda likes this kid, who can blame him?).

Speaking of Moth, Finn and them were out early. Again. 

He’d teased the guy a bit before about Moth being his new crush (he didn’t mean it, of course), but he knows Finn too well to not notice how he is around them now. Yesterday, the two of them were playing BMO on the couch, and Moth had been insisting on brushing Finn’s hair. Insisting (it was super tangled under that hat, they just knew it). Finn wasn’t happy to stop the game, of course, but he was very soon distracted by their  hands running through it. 

You were gentle with the brush, preciously picking out each stray leaf from the waterfall of gold. It brings to mind the story (you think it was a book? or a movie. Probably both) of Rapunzel. Finn wasn’t locked away in a tall tower by an evil witch, and there was no prince.

But he was letting his hair down for you.

“Thanks, Moth,” Finn looks in the mirror you’d given him. “You’re real good at this,” 

“I did my best with what I had to work with,” You lean forwards on the back of the couch.

“Wh—hey! Don’t insult my hair! You’ll hurt all its hair feelings…” Finn trails off in a pouty voice.

“Pff!” You snort, “No, no, I…think it’s really pretty,” You place a hand in the fluffy blonde texture, and the weight of what you just said hits you both.

A moment of silence, you both freezing up, then,

“…You wanna go back to playing BMO?” He somehow speaks up after the beat of silence. You make your way back to the cushion next to him. 

“Yeah, yeah…”

You both then avert your eyes from each other, heat rising in your faces. 

Jake thought it was funny to watch, honestly. But cute too. Like a baby taking its first steps. He remembers when he was like that way back when, even before he met Lady.

A call from who-knows-who cuts through his remembering the events of yesterday, and he reluctantly gets up from his morning chill time to answer.

“Finn?” Princess Bubblegum’s voice rings through the phone.

“Oh, hey princess,”

“Jake! Even better. I have some important info about your guest. But it’ll have to be eye-are-ell told to you,”

“What’s an eye-are-ell?”

“You know. In real life,”

Jake is silent.

“…”

“So I’ll see you at the kingdom in twenty minutes tops, okay?”

“You got it, p-dubs…” Jake puts the phone back down, and prepares for the trek from the treehouse to there.

“Finn,”

You look around at the tall, unfamiliar structures, their skeletons visible now that the glass of their windows was broken long ago and coated their edges along with the street in front of you. You’re glad you have shoes right now.

“Where on god’s earth are we?”

“We’re looking for a certain monster whatchyamahoozit. Big cyclops, decapitatable head…” He grabs the top of his hat, imitating carrying the head, “What’s god mean?”

“No, I mean where are we. Like, the place. I’m gonna ignore that last sentence.”

“We’re in the old human ruins.”

“Mm?”

“It’s kinda wonkers, right? We used to be all over the place, and then…boom,” Finn again gestures, this time spreading his hands slowly along with an explosion sound effect he’s making. 

You blink. “..And then what?”

“The mushroom war,” Finn says, nonchalantly.

You blink again.

Finn blinks back at you, his own turn to be surprised, “You don’t know?”

You shake your head, frown deepening. 

“Well, about a million billion years ago—actually like a thousand years ago—but a million billion years ago there was a whole buncha humanses. The humanses were real mean, turns out, and they got all these wack bombs to use on themselves. They looked like these huuge mushrooms, and that’s why it’s called the mushroom war!” Finn seems all too casual in his explanation of humanity’s extinction event.

You wonder what it would’ve been like to be there.

Your face stays like it was for a brief second too long, and then, “Huh. Our ancestors sound like they sucked.”

“You suck!” Finn jokes.

“You suck more.”

Finn giggles (he’s too), before you both hear something, a noise. 

Past you was right. Future you (who is now present you) does not like homework on a Saturday. In hindsight, Friday homework is far superior to Saturday homework.

Luckily, you had a Marsha party to look forward to. 

You finally get up to get dressed, after about an hour of trying to stare your math problems into making sense (x = something-that-you’ll-correct-later). She lives way downtown, so you ask your parents to drive you there instead of walking. Yeah yeah, it’s embarrassing, or something. You’re not getting kidnapped over embarrassment. 

omw :)

You fiddle with your phone in your hands. You hate hate hate doing anything on the weekends, but it turns out if you stay inside all the time everything’s the same same same. 

You look out the window. 

What if it’s all gone tomorrow? It’s a very real possibility, every generation has thought it was the end of the world, but you feel you especially have to worry.

“We’re here.”

You say bye to your parents, about to step into the unknown.

“Before you go, your brother wants you to come with us when we go to the museum for his birthday.”

You give a wordless thumbs-up, “Yeah, I’ll go. Don’t wanna let the little guy down.”

“Moth? Moth?”

You’re being shaken.

Oh yeah, Finn.

“MOTH!”

“AH! FUCK! I’M HERE!”

“YOU CAN’T SAY THAT!”

“WHAT?”

“THE F-WORD!”

“THE HELL I CAN’T!”

“YOU CAN’T SAY THAT EITHER!”

“I CAN’T SAY THE HELL WORD?”

“NOOOOOOO!”

“IIIIT’S ICE KING!”

You both turn to the source of the noise. It was the Ice King, apparently.

“Who the hell—heck. Who the heck is that?”

“It’s the Ice King. We don’t really know what to do about him, cuz we can’t really beat him up anymore, you know?”

“Huh.” You turn away from Finn, “Hey Ice King!”

“WHAH?”

“What’re you doing here?”

He stares off into space, then for a moment comes back. 

“Kidnapping YOU!”

You’re frozen in a block of ice before he can say anything (very convenient timing) and the Ice King levitates it to bring you with him.

“I’M TAKING THIS THING WITH ME! Oh, hi Finn! Have you cut your hair? I don’t know why I said that. I can’t see your hair under your hat, hehe. You probably haven’t cut it. You have long princess hair. Anyway. Byyyye!”

Finn drops his sword.

 “…bugbucks.”

“So if you’re saying what I think you’re saying then you’re saying that pod kid might be from the way-way past.”

“Yep. And you could be irradiated too.” Princess Bubblegum does not look up from her computer.

“Well can’tya just…make them not irradiated?”

“They’ve spent sooo much time being irradiated that they’ve become radioactive themself. It’s a whole dinkin’ mess.”

“I think we’ve said ‘irradiated’ too much.”

PB pulls down a projector screen, and on it appears a diagram.

“This is Ooo right now.”

“Uh huh.”

“And this is Ooo after the radiation from the pod spreads. This has been happening to you and Finn ever since Moth came to live with you.”

“But if Ooo’s all healed from the mushroom war, wouldn’t we be, like. Resistant to the radiation or somethin’?”

“No. Because Ooo healed from the fallout, and now it’s almost entirely gone, no one has any resistance to it. Either we send Moth off into the ocean or something, or we experiment on them. Mainly me. I’ll experiment on them. I have no idea why I said we.”

“Listen, PB. It’s just….we’ve been through this before with FP and that whole sedimentary rock nonsense, and this sounds like that all over again.”

PB turns away from Jake, back to the screen displaying the destruction,  “It’s not. At least this time there’s no romance bee-ess.”

Jake looks to the side, then back at PB. “Yep. None. Zero.”

PB continues to ponder the screen.

“Well I’m gonna…go get the kid…I’ll be right back!” He semi-yells as he runs off. PB was about to get a few words in about wearing PPE (personal protective equipment) but he’s not going to pick up any on the way out anyway.

Jake is now conflicted between two of the most important things in his life. The bro code, where he must not interfere with another bro’s relationship, and his duty to keep his little brother safe.

He doesn’t wanna interrupt what he sees happenin’, of course. Cuz Finn needs someone to romance other than PB or FP. But if he dies is it really worth it?

He considers. And considers. And considers some more.

He should tell Finn about it. And let him make his own decision.

“Uno!” Nes proudly puts their second-to-last card on the discard pile.

“Again? How??” Jenni exclaims.

“Someone keeps giving me plus-fours.”

You lean back in your chair, hiding your smile with your fan of cards.

You take a bite between turns of one of your two slices of okay-party-pizza, waiting in anticipation to see what Nes had up their sleeve. The ten of you at the party had to put together three decks of uno just to be able to have the game go on.

“Annnnd….I don’t have this color.”

“Aaaaahahahaha, got you again!” Marsha pokes Nes in the shoulder, and Nes sighs, shaking their head.

The loud noise of something (a helicopter or an airplane) flying overhead interrupts your game.

“What was that?” Jax asks.

Marsha shrugs, “We live next to an airport. There’s tons of low flying planes. Plus four.”

“Wh—HEY!”

You take out your phone, habitually checking your social media, and seeing if your parents have texted you anything.

“Guys, I gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll brb.” You gesture to the hallway with your thumb.

There’s a murmur of ‘ok’s, and Marsha saying they’ll wait for you.

As you open the door, the hairs stand up on your neck, and you stop in your tracks.

Something is terrifyingly, hauntingly, wrong.