Work Text:
Friday afternoons are not the busiest time for Petals on the Moon cafe, no, that honor is reserved for Sunday mornings when the neighboring church unleashes a wave of hungry congregates through Zhang Hao’s doors, but with the winter holidays fast approaching, Hao might have to take on another part-timer for the season. He’s been forced to come out of the kitchen in the back to take orders at the register, a nightmare for an introvert like him, especially given his self consciousness due to the flour streaked across his apron from an accident earlier that morning. His stomach is still bubbling with the last remains of regret for not checking his face before coming to the front, given that Taerae had giggled into a fist as he swiped a streak of powdered sugar from his cheek ten minutes into Hao’s impromptu shift.
That’s not to say that Hao doesn’t like working in the front of his cafe. The feeling of embarrassment has slowly been overtaken by the warmth of seeing the success of his dream come to life. The weather outside has started to turn, with customers arriving in their thick jackets and scarves, but the inside of the cafe is like a safe haven of golden light and natural oak tables. There’s still a few streamers hanging from the ceiling from the Halloween decorations he’d convinced Ricky to help put up a few weeks ago, the silver strings glinting in the light as the heating units circulate warm air throughout the room.
The tables are almost all full, giggling teenage girls chatting with each other over a piece of cake after school let out for the weekend. There’s a pair of older women who always occupy the back corner with their crochet hooks this time of day, gossiping over their decaf lattes. The bar in front of the baristas is empty though, stools just waiting for the next guest to come by for an up close view of Hao’s two employees, either for their prowess at making drinks, or perhaps just because they’re so handsome. Hao would suggest the former, but Ricky insists on the latter, and with how often a customer will linger to watch Ricky make masterpieces out of milk foam, Hao thinks he might have a point.
Hao’s current customer is a first timer to the cafe, he thinks, because she’s spent at least five minutes discussing with him their extensive menu. Most regulars would know what they wanted right away, since the menu hadn’t changed much other than their seasonal drinks. Usually Hao wouldn’t mind chatting with her, the line had finally died down, so there’s no reason to rush her along. Only, its nearing four pm now which means, and not that Hao keeps track meticulously, but another one of their regulars should be arriving shortly. As he’s explaining the finer points of oat milk versus almond milk to the same girl, the bell above the door tinkles softly. Always careful to shut the door behind them gently, the new customer makes his way immediately over to the bar, taking the seat closest to the register.
“The usual?” Taerae confirms, and the man nods.
Without giving away too much excitement at the other’s arrival, Hao convinces the girl to forgo the milk all together and try their signature yuzu honey tea and rings her up quickly. Though he’s trying hard to hide it, Hao can feel the eyes of their new customer following his motions as he methodically counts out her change and hands the coins politely back to the girl. She seems a bit disappointed when Hao sends her to the end of the bar to pick up her drink from Ricky, which Hao tries not to be too troubled about, as he had entertained her for the last five minutes and answered all her inane questions about the cafe’s drinks. What more could she want from him?
Slowly, he lets himself turn to face the other man.
“Hey Bin-ssi,” he greets, feeling a small smile form on his lips at just the other man’s name, “just the americano, or can I get you something a little sweeter too?”
Bin quirks his head, half a smile on his lips, “Ah, I wish. But I just started a new diet, before the holidays you know.”
A challenge. Hao rises to the occasion, “That’s too bad. I’ve been testing new recipes all morning for our new specials. Not even a taste?”
Bin tilts his head a bit more as Hao watches him imploringly. It’s a game they always play everytime Bin comes long enough to try one of Hao’s desserts. Sometimes he lets the conversation stretch out, but other times Bin is content to bend to Hao’s wishes.
“What will my mother say, when she finds out I’ve been indulging in someone else’s baked goods?” Bin prompts. But Hao lets his lips curve down into a small pout. He watches as Bin’s eyes flick down, and something in him softens. Hook. Line. Sinker.
He puts his hands up in surrender, “Alright, you win. What did you make this morning?” Hao practically lights up. Delighted, he goes to the back to fetch some of his samples. He doesn’t know what it is about the other man that brightens up his day so much, but he’s even found himself curating some of his recipes to things he thinks the other would like. Taerae would call it bias, but Hao insists it’s not purposeful. Besides, everything he’s made, customers have loved. Isn’t it just a coincidence they happen to be things Bin has suggested he liked as well?
Carefully, Hao arranges a small piece of his three new desserts on a small plate for Bin. He keeps each portion small, as he really does want to respect Bin’s wishes about being on a diet and all, it’s just something about seeing Bin’s cheeks full of Hao’s pastries, smiling like a little hamster, makes Hao feel warmer than any scarf ever had. Taerae is depositing Bin’s drink in front of him when Hao returns, setting the plate down in front of him.
With the dessert fork, Hao points out each dessert while Bin watches, enraptured, though whether with the pastries or the man describing them Ricky and Hao will just have to disagree.
“This one is a pumpkin donut with cream cheese frosting,” Zhang Hao explains, “that one is chocolate mousse with peppermint sticks on top, and lastly, a slice of a yule log.”
Hao looks so proud of his creations that Bin has no choice but to accept the fork, “Isn’t this too much?”
“You made a yule log?” Ricky questions appearing suddenly behind Hao, “Can I try it?”
Ricky grabs a fork and reaches toward the plate but Zhang Hao smacks his hand away and crosses his arms, “It’s not for you. It’s for Bin to try first.”
“Ah hyung, this is favoritism,” he whines, “Is there more in the back?”
“You can try some after your shift,” Hao digresses, “If there’s any left once Yujinie gets into it.”
Ricky grumbles but goes back to his station behind the bar. At Hao’s distraction, Taerae had been forced to take over the register. Hao doesn’t feel bad though, this is what he pays the pair for after all.
Bin tries the cake first, given Ricky’s excitement of tasting it. His eyes sparkle when he swallows it, and Hao once again tries to understand how God is fair when it comes to making a man like Bin. “Is it good?” He asks.
Nodding, Bin tries another bite, “It’s perfect. Hao-ssi, you really outdid yourself this time.”
Zhang Hao tries to resist the urge to blush under the praise, but he can feel his cheeks getting warm. He has to deflect back on Bin, “Ah, it’s just because of my desserts that you like me, isn’t it Bin-ssi?”
Now Bin is the one stifling a cough at Hao’s forwardness, “Of course not, I like everything about Hao-ssi,” He insists, looking down at his plate. Which is good, because then he can’t see the way Hao’s ears have gone pink. Ricky and Taerae certainly can though, and Hao can practically feel the teasing that’s headed his way once Bin is gone.
Checking his watch quickly, Bin looks surprised at the time, “Oh, Hao-ssi, I’m sorry, but I’m running late. I have to catch a flight today to visit my family for the holidays.”
Trying to keep the frown from bleeding into his expression, Hao nods, “Let me pack the desserts for you at least,” He says, just to have something to do with his hands.
“Bin-ssi, does this mean you won’t be visiting the cafe for a while?” Taerae questions curiously.
Sheepishly, Bin nods, “I’ll miss you all, er- the cafe, while I’m gone.”
Ricky mumbles something like, “ all of us, i’m sure,” under his breath and Hao kicks him lightly behind the bar.
“That’s too bad, Bin-ssi,” Hao says, trying not to seem too sad at the news. And really, it’s not that big a deal. It’s not like Bin was their only customer, their only regular even. There’s no reason for Hao to be as sad as he is. He hands Bin the take-away bag, “Have a good holiday!”
Their fingertips brush as Bin accepts the bag.
“You as well, Hao-ssi,” Bin smiles,“Oh and Ricky, Gyuvin asked me to tell you to text him back?” Bin asks uncertainly.
“Tell him in his wildest dreams,” Ricky replies, puttering around near the sink with some cups at the mention of Bin’s cousin and fellow cafe regular.
Then Bin is gone, out the door, with Hao having turned around so he doesn’t have to watch him go pathetically.
“Hao hyung, why so sad?” Ricky teases him in mandarin, “Because your cafe customer husband has left his army wife alone? He’ll be back from the war soon enough.”
Even though he knows no one else speaks mandarin, Hao can’t stop himself from glancing around nervously like someone might have understood. He slaps Ricky lightly on the shoulder, “It’s not like that.”
“I’ll have you written up for employee abuse,” Ricky rubs at his shoulder, “that’s twice in the last five minutes now.”
Taerae steps between them, “Let’s just hope he doesn’t find a better cafe while he’s away.”
“A better cafe?” Zhang Hao asks, pretending that his voice isn’t shaking at the prospect.
“Don’t worry hyung,” Ricky replies, “He won’t. None of those other cafes have you.”
Zhang Hao tells himself it’s not relief that Ricky’s statement gives him, just the encouragement that they won’t lose one of their best regulars. Because Hao doesn’t want to be misrepresented here, yes Bin is sweet, around his age, quite handsome and charming… but Hao doesn’t have a crush or anything like that! He’s just glad they have a loyal regular. And besides, Hao isn’t really looking to get into a relationship now anyways. He and Yujin have only just begun to really settle into their new home and the cafe is much too busy for Hao to be distracted by something like a relationship. They’d moved here a few months ago to escape the drama and chaoticness of their old life. Hao isn’t about to bring any of that to the life they’d so painstakingly tried to create here.
Speaking of Yujin, it was nearly five. He should be home from soccer practice by now, Hao thinks, but he could have easily gotten distracted by one of his friends on the way home. Still, the residual concern over his step-brother’s whereabouts eats at him, and just as he’s considering checking his phone for any messages, the boy bursts through the door, bell jangling wildly and drawing all eyes to him.
“Sorry, sorry,” Yujin breaths deeply and scampers over to Hao, “I should’ve texted. But Gunwook hyung’s debate practice ended late and he asked me to wait for him.”
“Yujin-ah,” Hao reprimands and Yujin shrinks a bit in on himself. “You’re tracking mud everywhere,” He teases before pinching the younger’s cheek. Yujin tries to shake him off, and Hao lets him go.
“It’s fine,” Hao reassures, “Why don’t you get a slice of yule cake from the back?”
“You made cake?” Yujin asks excitedly, bounding towards the entrance to the kitchen.
“This is favoritism,” Ricky insists again, forlornly watching as Yujin digs into a decadent slice of cake. Yujin sticks his tongue out in retaliation, “Maybe if you got hyung to sign your guardianship papers too he would love you as much as he loves me.”
Ricky just makes a kind of expression that’s in between a sneer and a grimace. No one really knows what to say when Yujin brings out the guardianship card, not even Hao.
“Oh, and hyung,” Yujin reaches for his backpack, “Another one came.”
He hands Zhang Hao a thick letter addressed to “Sung Hanbin” that must’ve arrived in their mailbox that afternoon. Hao tucks it in the drawer underneath the cash register to add to the growing pile of mail for the mysterious person in their apartment. While at first Hao thought it was an accident, after asking around to all the neighbors, Sung Hanbin was nowhere to be found. The letters began piling up. Mostly they were advertisements, but every once in a while there would be a post card or a personal letter. Hao never opened them, but sometimes he judged the quality of the advertisements Hanbin received when he was particularly bored. It had eventually come to him that Hanbin must have been the previous tenant of the apartment and the potential previous owner of the cafe.
Still, none of the letters seemed important enough to go tracking Sung Hanbin, wherever he was, down, and so Hao just let the box grow and hoped eventually the mail would stop after getting no response.
Hao comes back to himself at the sound of Yujin scraping the fork across his plate to get at the last of the chocolate frosting from his cake, “Hao hyung, you’re putting this on the menu right?” He asks, and Hao reaches over to ruffle his hair because his brother is so endearing he can’t help it.
Yujin looks around for the other two baristas, “Taerae hyung, Ricky hyung, you agree right? This should definitely be on the menu?”
Ricky crosses his arms, “We wouldn’t know. Hyung wouldn’t let us try any. Did you leave any for us?”
Looking down bashfully, Ricky takes that as his answer.
“Bin-ssi liked it too,” Hao confirms, “I think we found our new special.”
“Do you need help with anything, hyung?” Yujin asks, looking around at the cafe, which has started to empty now that it’s nearing dinner time.
“Not unless you want to wash dishes,” Hao says, vaguely hopeful.
Yujin stands up from the bar, pushing his seat back in and picking up his backpack.
“No chance, sorry hyung,” Yujin says with a smile, “You have part timers for that.”
“Hey!” Ricky yells indignantly, but goes ignored.
“Aw, but Yujinie,” Hao pleads, “You always do them when Gunwook is here.”
“That’s because Gunwook does whatever you ask,” Yujin says petulantly, “He probably has a crush on you or something hyung. You really ought to let him down gently, instead of making him do dishes for free.”
“Alright that’s enough,” Hao directs Yujin towards the staircase to the apartment, “Gunwook is a good dongsaeng, unlike some brothers I know.” But he pinches Yujin’s cheek again, so the younger knows he’s only joking. Yujin wriggles out of Hao’s hold and runs up the stairs, and Hao watches to make sure he gets inside safely before returning to the cafe.
three months ago, august
The day before Hao and Yujin received the final determination as to whether Hao would be allowed to become Yujin’s official guardian, Hao asked Yujin to choose a new place for them to live randomly. It was an idea that he’d been toying with for a while, quite frankly since the whole divorce proceeding started going on, but when he first brought it up to his step-brother, he wasn’t expecting the younger to take it so well. He hadn’t expected Yujin would want them to go somewhere too far, they had whole lives in the city. Hao had his 9-5 corporate job that he’d slowly climbed the ranks of since moving to the foreign country so many years ago. He didn’t have many close friends, but he was an introvert after all. Life wasn’t perfect, but he was content enough. Yujin was on his way to finishing his first year of high school. He’d found a place on the soccer team and stuck by the friends he’d known since he was a child. At most, Hao thought Yujin would want to move a few neighborhoods away, put some distance between them and the memories they’d like to put behind them.
Ironically, the baking had come out of the stress of all the lawyers and paperwork and testimonies. He’d just needed something to ease his mind, and when Yujin announced he was really craving chocolate chip cookies, Zhang Hao saw himself as a man on a mission. At first, they had both been worried, and rightfully so, as Hao was a bit of a menace in the kitchen. It was one of the weaker points the opposition was using against Hao’s guardianship in the first place, Hao practically lived off of takeout and instant food, could he really support a growing teenage boy?
But while cooking was an uphill battle, baking came to him easily. Hao and Yujin won the case. Then, Yujin asked Hao how he would like to move to the countryside and open a cafe. Yujin admitted that he’d been thinking a lot too, about the new life they could start. Wasn’t it better to just go as far away as they could, start clean, and leave all their burdens behind? When he’d found the listing for the dual apartment and cafe, Yujin had begun to imagine what it would be like if they could call it home.
It took Hao all of one night to decide that they should do it. He quit his job and uses his savings to put a down payment on the property. By August, they’ve packed their belongings, and Hao rents a car to take them to a small city near the coast, one that he’s never heard of, but one that the pair have staked all their hopes in for the near future.
The city is more like a village than a city when they finally arrive. Maybe a town, Hao thinks generously, as they tour the streets on the way to the apartment. It’s both everything and nothing like Hao expected. There’s a grocery store on the corner, and several other shops open next to the barest structure of a cafe. The walls have been painted clean white, but theres a well designed bar area, and a large kitchen in the back with an oven that makes Hao want to swoon.
They eat jjajangmyeon on the wooden floor of the apartment, suitcases tucked into a corner of the living room. Yujin pulls out a notebook, and they start making a list of all the things they imagine for their cafe. Finally, Yujin asks what Hao wants to name it. Petals on the Moon , Zhang Hao says simply. Yujin tilts his head in a silent request for an explanation, but Hao can’t give him one yet. It feels right though, he says, and that’s enough.
For the rest of the summer, the pair work to renovate the cafe into something workable. Hao asks if Yujin doesn’t want to try and go make friends somewhere, Hao could ask around to see if there’s a local soccer club if he’d like, but Yujin declines. There will be plenty of time to make friends once school starts, Yujin insists, besides, the cafe is their project now, and Yujin wants to see it through to the end.
The cafe opens the last week of summer. Hao doesn’t expect too much business. He’d informed the neighbors, and Yujin had convinced him to let the younger open an Instagram account for the cafe. While Hao had accounts on social media, he didn’t update them too often. When everything had been crashing down around him at the start of his step-parents messy divorce trial, he’d even deleted almost everything off the account. The only post was a photo of him and Yujin smiling widely outside the cafe. Perhaps a bit selfishly, Hao hoped it was a reminder to everyone they’d left behind that they were doing better now. For most of the summer, he’d used the app to keep up with his old friends and coworkers, but now he found himself satisfied with the relationships he was starting to form in their new neighborhood, he almost didn't use it at all.
To his surprise, the cafe was a hit. Not only did the neighbors visit, notably Hao’s new friends Jiwoong and Matthew, a pair of roommates who lived in the building next door, but what felt like half the town had as well. Yujin and Hao were swamped taking orders and making drinks respectively. The pastries Hao had woken up painstakingly early to bake were sold out by noon, and by the end of the day Hao decided they were going to need to hire a couple more employees. Yujin was adamantly against it at first, but once Hao pointed out that Yujin would have to go to school the next week, he relented, so long as he got to be involved in the interviews.
Even with just a quickly designed advertisement online, it feels like Hao and Yujin had to go through a hundred interviews. The first hire was easy, Taerae had plenty of experience working in a cafe, he was willing to work full time, and he was a local. If his angelic smile didn’t win the pair over, his skill at making coffee while singing along to whatever mix they played over the speakers did. More than once did Hao wonder what someone like Taerae was doing still living in this small town when he could do so much more, but even when Hao worked up the courage to ask, Taerae shrugged and said the place had a way of keeping you here, even if you didn’t expect it.
For the second hire, Hao wasn’t quite sure what to look for. There were many teens and students interested in the part time position, but none of them felt quite right. Some were incredibly zealous, and more than once did Yujin have to shut an excited college student down on the prospect of having his handsome older brother as their boss. Then, just as Hao was starting to reconsider some of the rejected candidates, there arrives Ricky, or Shen Quanrui as he first introduces himself. The boy is an exchange student from China, and he hadn’t been looking for a job at all at first, but his Korean tutor had suggested he try to get a job to improve his Korean faster— well actually he’d suggest Ricky find a significant other first— but the job would probably work equally as well.
Remembering his first few months in the country so many years ago, Hao immediately felt the need to take Ricky under his wing. Yujin had been against Hao’s choice from the start, saying Ricky had never worked in a cafe before and would have so much to learn, but then again, so did they. The decision was made and Ricky joined their unit. Hao hadn’t expected that underneath the boy’s shy exterior was an endless well of snarky comments and jokes, but pushing even farther Hao knew that it was really just a shell to protect how soft he was on the inside. After a few weeks, Ricky had managed to master his latte art, drawing even more customers to the cafe to see the art student’s newest designs.
The first time Bin came to the cafe, it was a busy Wednesday morning when Hao and Yujin were still trying to run the place on their own. They hadn’t quite worked out the right rhythm between Yujin distracting customers with small talk while Hao clumsily attempted to juggle the numerous drink orders that came from their mouths.
A handsome man had been waiting for his drink for a while, and Hao kept sneaking glances at him out of the corner of his eye, trying to guess which of the many drink tags could belong to him. He could tell the customer was growing impatient, as he started to check his watch every minute like he had somewhere to be. Then a ticket came in for four smoothies, and Hao absorbed himself into the order, temporarily forgetting the man.
He clears his throat as Hao is putting a lid on the last blueberry yogurt smoothie. Hao’s first thought is whether his voice is as handsome as his face. Beat it down . Hao tells himself. His life is not a cliche, and he shouldn’t fall in love with the first handsome man he meets in this town.
“Hi, sorry,” the man says, and his voice has a kind of husk to it that draws Hao in, “but I’ve been waiting for my drink for a while and…”
He trails off. It’s always awkward when this happens. For both parties, Hao pities the man as much as he pities himself. He puts on his best customer service voice, “I’m sorry for the wait. What was the drink?”
“Just an iced americano,” the man replies. Hao remembers making an americano. He called it out several minutes ago. He scans the counter for it, “Sorry, is this yours? For Bin?”
The man pauses for a second, “It must be. Sorry about that.”
And Hao doesn’t know if it’s the stress of the morning, or the bubbling desire in his stomach to say something, anything to get the man to notice him, remember him, but he says, “Sorry for forgetting your own name?”
It doesn’t come out as joking as Hao hoped. Bin does a double take, and a blush begins to rise on his cheeks. Great, now Hao’s embarrassed the cutest guy to visit their cafe. He’ll probably never come back again.
“No it’s just,” Bin tries to explain, but gets cut off by a mom with a toddler on her hip.
“Four blueberry yogurt smoothies?” She butts in. Hao slides them across to her. When he turns back to Bin, he’s already gone.
With the addition of Taerae and Ricky to the staff, things begin to run much more smoothly. Hao no longer has to struggle with yogurt smoothies, or make small talks with moms and their screaming children at the register. He’s safe in his little haven at the back, baking away whatever treats he thinks the customers might like to try in the coming days.
Yujin goes to his first day of high school. Hao tries not worry about him all day. He has to resist texting his brother every hour. No one wants to be bothered by their older brother/pseudo-parent figure all day when they have enough to adjust to at the school. He comes back that afternoon with a friend in tow. Hao thinks he might cry in joy. Gunwook’s bulky frame is almost comical next to Yujin’s skinny build, and Hao would only under the influence of a serious amount of alcohol admit it, but he was intimidated by the high school student at first. But he sets the pair up at a table with a hot chocolate and a muffin, and he soon learns Gunwook is more like a teddy bear than anything. Though he’s older than Yujin, they’re in the same grade. He lives somewhere in the neighborhood, or at least Hao thinks he does because he’s not good enough at directions yet to quite understand the places Gunwook is referencing. He does their dishes and offers to help sweep up the cafe before he heads home, but Hao declines as that’s what he pays Ricky for, and Ricky scoffs before going to fetch the broom. Hao knows it doesn’t mean much, but that Yujin is happy that Hao likes his new friend too.
More than once, Hao has wondered why the cafe had gotten so popular so quickly. Between Hao, Yujin, and their two lovely employees, they each have their own theories. Yujin would be the first to celebrate their trending page on social media, loved by many of the students at the local university. Ricky would say it’s the handsome part timer who works in the mornings and the weekends. Taerae just thinks they make good drinks and serve good food. But sometimes, when the cafe is quiet, and Hao can’t help but eavesdrop on some of the quiet conversations, he’ll hear snippets about the cafe that used to be in the building. Hao wonders if at first, people just came to see if he could measure up. Even if so, they must have liked what they saw, because business is still going strong, even after their initial popularity has cooled off a little.
A few weekends after the opening, Hao thinks they’ve ironed out most of the kinks in the business. Taerae and Ricky run like a well oiled machine, and Hao really only has to come out to run the register during the rush. It’s during one of these rushes that Iced-Americano-Bin, as Hao had begun to call him in his head, finally returns.
He comes in tow of a puppy-like boy with long limbs and floppy brown hair. Chattering excited, the boy pulls Bin right up to the register. Should he say it? Screw it.
“Hey Iced-Americano-Bin,” Hao puts on his best smile. A real one, not a customer service one.
The other boy looks back and forth between them for a few seconds. Bin splutters but no coherent words come out of his mouth.
“You came here without me?” The other boy says, expression twisting into one of betrayal.
Bin scratches the back of his neck, “Er, year. Right when it opened actually.”
“And I thought we were family,” the boy berates, and like a switch has flipped, he begins fake crying, “I thought we were family,” he whines, tuggin on Bin’s arm when he doesn’t respond.
“Brothers?” Hao suggests.
“Cousins,” Bin replies.
Ricky materializes behind Zhang Hao in the way that never fails to make him jump, “What’s going on?” he questions, looking between Hao and the two customers, “Hao-ge, did you make him cry?”
“What, no!” Hao replies incredulously.
At the new voice, the younger boy perks up. Once he spots Ricky, it’s like his crying button switches from on to off. An outsider would never expect he’d just thrown half a tantrum for the last sixty seconds in a public space.
“Woah,” he comments, looking dead on at Ricky, “Has anyone told you that you have eyes the size of a 500 won coin?”
“Um, thanks?” is all Ricky can think to reply.
“I’m Gyuvin,” He introduces, still not having shifted his eyes off Ricky, “What’s your name.”
Ricky just gestures to the nametag Hao had made for him decorated in flower stickers.
“Ricky,” Gyuvin reads aloud. He’s smiling so brightly, like a golden retriever puppy. Hao doesn’t know how Ricky is resisting the level of endearingness just oozing off the other boy.
“Don’t wear it out,” Ricky says, “Now, are you here to order something or just to slow down the line.” Hao looks behind the almost freakishly tall boy to see there is in fact a line of disgruntled customers stretching behind the pair. He sighs, then gestures for Ricky to take over the register while he cuts up some cake to offer as free samples.
Once he’s finally back behind the bar again, having sweet-talked an older woman into not leaving a poor review online for the slow service, he finds Bin and Gyuvin sitting at the bar.
“Can I try?” Bin asks.
“Huh?” Hao snaps out of his thoughts, looking down at the almost empty plate of cake, “Oh! Of course.” He hands the man a piece speared on a toothpick. Hanbin puts the whole cube in his mouth, filling one side of his cheek like a hamster.
“What do you think?” Hao asks, leaning forward towards him across the bar.
Hanbin makes a noise in agreement, swallowing, “It’s so good, did you make it yourself?”
Zhang Hao gestures to the array of treats in their pastry case, “I make everything here in the mornings.”
The man’s eyes flit over the various trays of sweets, “That’s so impressive, you must work really hard,” He pauses for a moment, as if considering whether or not to ask his next question, “You’re not from around here right? Can I ask why you decided to open the cafe?”
It’s not the first time Hao has been asked this question, but he finds he doesn’t mind answering it this time, even if it’s not really the whole answer, “I just thought it was time for a change. My brother and I moved here from the capital. We really like it here so far. Everyone has been so welcoming,” Hao tells him.
Hanbin nods, “That’s why I’ve always stayed. I spent my whole life here. Now I’m a teacher at the elementary school down the street.”
With his charming smile and endless patience with his overexitable cousin, Hao can see that the career suits him well, “Will you become our regular then?” Hao asks, he slides over the rest of the plate of cake, if only as a little bribe to see the handsome man again.
“I think I will.”
And Bin follows through on his promise. His visits to the cafe become more frequent after that weekend. Usually, he’ll come in for a coffee before work. He can’t stay long, and Hao doesn’t always get to see him if he’s working in the back. During the weekends he stays longer, and they start up a game where Hao convinces the man to try one of his pastries.
If he asked Ricky, he’d point out that Bin only stayed when Hao was in the front. Hao would tell him it’s a coincidence, that he’s just deflecting to avoid the real cafe romance, or at least attempted one. The only person who comes more often to the cafe is Gyuvin, who, unless he’d succeeded on one of Hao’s days off, still hasn’t managed to get Ricky’s phone number yet.
present, december
Once the cafe is finally closed for the evening, and Hao has shooed Taerae and Ricky off with any pastries that remained unsold, he reaches under the register for the new piece of mail that Yujin had brought him. It’s an embossed envelope this time, with a bit of weight to it. Probably not an advertisement then, Hao thinks. He flips it over and sure enough it’s addressed to one “Sung Hanbin” with the exact address of their new home. The return address is for an insurance company somewhere in the city. But the thing that stands out the most to him is the red stamp marked “urgent” covering half the paper.
This is new. Usually Hanbin only receives coupons for food delivery or advertisements for activities in the town. For a brief period he’d been receiving glossy travel magazines, but those stopped quickly so Hao thought Hanbin had figured out he was missing those and changed the address. This though, this seemed important. He doesn’t want to open it, since that would be an invasion of privacy, and even if Hao doesn’t know this Hanbin fellow, he would like to show him some human decency. So that really leaves only one other option. Hao will have to track him down.
Now with a mission for the evening, he sends a quick text to the landlord after putting in an order for a delivery pizza for him and Yujin to eat for dinner. It’s not the healthiest, but it’s Friday, Hao tells himself, so they deserve a treat.
As Hao is putting the leftovers away in the fridge, knowing that Yujin will probably end up eating later as some form of a midnight snack, the reply comes in from the real estate agency.
Unfortunately, they say, they cannot put Hao in contact with the previous tenant as it would be a violation of their contract. Hao types and deletes at least ten draft messages of complaint. It’s not like he was doing anything wrong, he was only trying to help. Still, there’s not much he can do now, since he has no other way to contact the man. Sliding the letter to the top of the growing stack, he heads to bed. No point in losing sleep over something impossible.
*
Only Zhang Hao is losing sleep over that stupid letter because it declared so proudly that it was urgent. He can’t just let it rot away in a drawer with the rest of Sung Hanbin’s unreceived mail. Ricky and Taerae notice his foul mood right away. The latter though, thinks it has to do with a certain regular who doesn’t come for the first morning in weeks. But Zhang Hao isn’t in the mood to be teased, let alone about Bin if he isn’t going to have the luxury of looking forward to seeing him later. He spends almost the whole day back in the kitchen, yet even his new recipes aren’t turning out quite right. After he burns a second batch of croissants, he puts everything away and pushes out off the door with a huff.
It’s a slow afternoon, so there are just a few customers tucked away at the tables near the front of the cafe, and only Ricky is manning the bar and register since Taerae has the day off. “What’s up hyung?” Yujin asks where he’s sitting next to Gunwook at the corner table in the back. The pair are artfully cutting paper snowflakes for the cafe’s holiday decorations, and as Zhang Hao scans the floor covered in tiny triangle-shaped pieces of paper, making an absolute mess of it.
Gunwook quickly pulls the students’ backpacks down onto the ground, and Hao lets himself fall into the third seat at the table with a sigh.
Maybe he’s being a little dramatic, but Hao just can’t stop thinking about the letter. What if there’s something life-altering in that letter? He would never be able to forgive himself if he didn’t do everything possible to get the letter to its owner. But if the landlord couldn’t give him the contact, what else could he do? Track down a phonebook and dial up every Sung Hanbin in the vicinity? That would be ridiculous.
“Is this about the letter still?” Yujin questions, haphazardly cutting different shaped triangles into his sheet of paper.
“What letter?” Gunwook jumps in curiously. His snowflake is much more traditionally shaped, symmetrical and meticulously cut.
“We’ve been getting mail from the last person who lived here,” Yujin explains nonchalantly, “and now hyung is obsessed with returning an important letter to them.”
“There’s no point,” Hao complains, “the landlord won’t give me their contact, so there’s no way to find them…”
“Did you try online, Hao-hyung?” Gunwook asks, looking up from his paper snowflake.
“I doubt I’d be able to find him with a Naver search,” Hao points out.
“No, like on social media or something,” Gunwook clarifies.
Oh. Zhang Hao actually hadn’t thought about it.
“Hyung’s too social media illiterate for that,” Yujin teases, “I had to show him how to post a story last week.”
Just as Hao is about to step in to defend himself, he’s not illiterate, he just doesn’t spend a lot of time on those platforms anymore, but Gunwook is already putting his scissors down.
“Oh, thanks okay, hyung let me help you,” Gunwook says, immediately reaching for his phone.
Zhang Hao leans towards Gunwook, watching him open Instagram and navigate to the search page.
“What’s their name?” Gunwook asks, poised to begin the search.
“Sung Hanbin,” Hao enunciates.
Gunwook starts flicking through profiles, too fast for Hao to understand how or why the younger is eliminating them as potential options. Yujin, who had previously been pretending to not be interested, joins in as well. He starts whispering comments to Gunwook, but it might as well be a foreign language since Hao doesn’t really understand a thing about the importance of various emoticons in a bio or the ratio of followers to following so he just leans back in his seat and waits for the pair to finish.
“Got it!” Gunwook cheers after a few more minutes, “This must be him.”
He puts the phone down and slides it across to Hao. Displayed is a profile with no posts, but the username @shbeen_0613 makes the connection possible. The man’s profile picture is just a picture of the back of his head, fluffy brown hair facing a golden sunset. If Hao squints, or lets the delusions win, it looks like the photo could have been captured somewhere in the downtown area near to the cafe. The strongest evidence though, is that the account has several following in common with Gunwook’s account, including the account Yujin had made for the cafe. In Hao’s opinion, it proves that this person lives in the area at least. Hao wonders if Hanbin had been one of their many customers at some point. It’s not like Hao met everyone who came through the cafe, that was more Taerae and Ricky’s purview, so it was fully possible that Sung Hanbin had been under their nose this whole time.
Ricky materializes behind them, “He’s kind of cute,” he comments, “Who is he?”
Hao nearly jumps out of his seat at the noise, “How can you tell, you can only see the back of his head?”
Ricky pats him on the shoulder lightly, “He has an attractive profile. You would be able to tell if you got online more Hyung,” he teases.
Hao lightly shoves him away, “I don’t pay you to gossip about people’s Instagram accounts, if there’s nothing to do, I think the front should be swept.”
Ricky looks down at the small pieces of paper littering the floor, “I think it’s time to do a cleaning cycle on the expresso machine, sorry.”
He doesn’t really sound like it though, as he disappears back towards the bar.
“I think you’re right,” Hao finally says, after the silence of him staring at the phone gets to be a bit too long. He slides the phone back to Gunwook.
“Well, are you going to message him?” Gunwook asks, head tilted an adorably inquisitive way that makes Hao want to squish his cheeks and keep him forever.
He should. There is no reason Hao shouldn’t message him, unless he happens to be the wrong Sung Hanbin, which would be more embarrassing than hurtful. “Yes,” Hao decides, “But after I close up tonight.” After seeing how his brain could only focus on the letter and the mysterious man who it belonged to the past evening, Hao needed a break to actually focus on his prep work for the next day.
That night, curled up on the coach with a slice of leftover pizza, Zhang Hao doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to buckle down and send the message. He’s not that inexperienced with social media, he knows how to send a direct message. And it’s not, as Yujin had cheekily suggested when he warmed up his pizza, giggling over facetime to Gunwook like they hadn’t seen each other all day in person, because Hao thinks the mysterious Sung Hanbin is handsome. Hao has a valid reason to message the other, his urgent letter is sitting in a drawer in their kitchen as he stared at the man’s profile.
Maybe it’s just a comparative thing, Hao thinks, because Hanbin used to own this apartment. Hanbin has a few thousand followers on Instagram, but no posts, so he must know a lot of people around the town. Hao even has several mutual friends with him apparently, given that Jiwoong, Matthew, and even Taerae follow him! Maybe Zhang Hao’s account has less presence and has an embarrassing username Yujin came up with for him, but there’s seriously no reason for him to be nervous, Hao chides himself, then presses the message button. Without thinking too hard, he types something out, sends it, and practically sends the phone flying across the couch.
There, it’s done.
8:25 PM
jjangguri_00
Hi, I know this might be really weird.
I’m Zhang Hao, I think I live in your old apartment.
You are Sung Hanbin right?
11:15 PM
shbeen_0613
Oh, really?
Sorry I replied late… I was doing some preparations.
I am Sung Hanbin.
Sung Hanbin makes him wait for a response. But Hao doesn’t know the other man, so he won’t judge, yet. He contemplates making the other wait as well, but he’s too curious to be patient. Even if shbeen_0613 says he’s Sung Hanbin, Hao has to come up with some way to confirm it.
11:17 PM
jjangguri_00
Oh, good.
I was wondering, have you ever been to the cafe
Petals on the Moon?
shbeen_0613
a few times
jjangguri_00
What do you usually order?
shbeen_0613
is this an interrogation?
jjangguri_00
I’m just checking to make sure you’re the
right Sung Hanbin
shbeen_0613
usually i get an iced americano
jjangguri_00
Our most popular drink.
Ok. I trust you.
shbeen_0613
were you born in 2000?
jjangguri_00
How did you know???
shbeen_0613
it’s in your username…
jjangguri_00
oh.
shbeen_0613
can i call you hyung then?
jjangguri_00
You’re younger than me?
shbeen_0613
i was born in 2001…
jjangguri_00
Oh, ok. You can call me hyung then.
1:45 AM
shbeen_0613
oh, hyung. it’s getting late.
is there a reason you messaged me?
jjangguri_00
I can’t believe I forgot…
Yes.
2:10 AM
shbeen_0613
hyung, did you disappear?
jjangguri_00
[image attached]
I have all your mail…
shbeen_0613
ah… this is embarrassing…
jjangguri_00
It’s okay!!
I have work in a few hours :(
Is it not late for you too?
shbeen_0613
we must be in different time zones
it’s still evening for me…
hyung?
oh, you must have gone to sleep
sleep well hyung!
Zhang Hao wakes up to a barrage of texts from the other man. He regrets going to bed late, since he has to start baking at 4 AM, meaning he only got two hours of sleep. Maybe if he calls Ricky, he can beg him to come in this afternoon so Hao can take a nap after the morning rush.
He doesn’t get a chance to message the older back until later on, after Ricky has finally come to relieve him from his position in the front. The other doesn’t reply though, so Hao assumes he must be asleep now too.
The curious part of him wonders where Hanbin moved to that was so far away. This was certainly going to make returning the mail difficult. Maybe Hao would just mail it to his new address? But if he lived so far away now, would he really want all his old mail?
Hao didn’t get a chance to ask, because when Hanbin eventually texted him back, he changed the subject to whether he owned the cafe or not, and Hao was absorbed into his favorite topic. They seemed to chat about everything and nothing at the same time, always at odd hours because of the time difference, but never about the thing that brought them together in the first place.
At first, it would always make Hao nervous, the fact that they hadn’t yet come up with a plan to get Hanbin the letter in whatever far off country they lived in. But then Hanbin would send him good morning and good night texts, tell him funny stories about the antics of his cousin, and even send pictures of the cute dogs he passed when he would go out.
5:10 AM
shbeen_0613
gm hyung!!
how are you?
already baking for the day?
jjangguri_00
Good morning Hanbinie!!
Yes, I’m baking
The sheet cakes are cooling right now
shbeen_0613
ah hyung, every time you bring up baking i get hungry
jjangguri_00
What did you have for dinner?
shbeen_0613
i forgot to take a picture for you :,(
but my mom made galbi jjim
jjangguri_00
That sounds delicious
Next time take a picture for Hyung
So I can live vicariously through you
It must be nice to have homemade food
I always just order take-out…
shbeen_0613
hyung!!
that’s not healthy…
one day i will cook smth for you
That was the other thing Hanbin always did, imply that one day he would meet Hao in person. Didn’t the younger know it was probably impossible? Hao had never asked, but based on the time difference Hanbin probably lived somewhere in Europe or even America… Still, Hao started to dream of what it might be like the meet the charming man in person.
For being someone Hao had only spoken to online, Hao connected to Hanbin faster than anyone else in his life. He finds himself confiding in the other about his struggles at the cafe, and even late one night, his concerns about not being a good enough guardian for Yujin. But Hanbin is always there to reassure him, and when he can’t message Hao back right away, he sends these long paragraphs of encouragement that never fail to make Hao feel infallible.
In retrospect, it’s obvious that the other people in Hao’s life would notice the change in his personality. It’s pretty impossible to not notice just how bright Hao has become and the way he keeps his phone notifications on now when he used to always forget it somewhere around the cafe for hours.
Taerae and Ricky confront him one Saturday morning when it’s too early for Hao to function properly and he’s less likely to filter his words.
“Hyung, did you meet someone?” Taerae asks curiously as he dries the mugs for the guests staying in the cafe.
“No way,” Ricky butts in, “Hyung is too antisocial. Where does he go other than the cafe?”
“He couldn’t met someone at the cafe,” Taerae defends.
This gives Ricky an idea, “Hyung did you finally do it?? Did you make a move on the iced americano guy?”
Hao doesn’t look up where he’s counting money at the register. To be honest, he hadn’t thought about the missing cafe regular in a while, he’d been too distracted with Hanbin.
“You and I both know his name is Bin,” Hao replies tiredly, but doesn’t say anything else.
“You’re not denying it Hyung,” Ricky presses.
“I don’t have to. How could I have when he hasn’t been here in weeks?” Hao points out.
Ricky droops for a moment at being shut down, “You never got his phone number in all the times he’s been here?”
“He never asked me,” Hao says simply, “And as he’s a customer it would have been inappropriate of me to ask.”
“I guess,” Ricky admits, “So there’s really no one?”
Hao stays really focused on the register, willing the blush to stay off his face. Because there is a reason that Hao hadn’t thought of Iced-Americano-Bin in a while, he just doesn’t want to confess to it. Hao can acknowledge the stirring feelings he has for Hanbin in his own head, but how embarrassing is that for Hao to declare that he’s got a crush on a man he met online who doesn’t even live in the same country?
Fortunately, his two favorite troublemakers come down out of the apartment to save them.
“Hyung is just in a good mood these days because of our amazing Christmas decorations,” Yujin says in lieu of a real greeting. Hao has to agree with his brother there, because in addition to the paper snowflakes the pair had decorated a small tree and hung the excess ornaments around the cafe. Also, Hao had picked up a few Christmas scented candles at the market, which Hao thought improved the ambiance of the small cafe and the customers seemed to think so too.
“You two are up early?” Hao asks, shutting the cash drawer after having written down the final amounts.
“There’s gonna be a soccer game down at the park,” Yujin replies.
“Oh, you should have told me,” Zhang Hao frowns, “I would have come to cheer my two babies on…”
Yujin instinctively ducks his head to avoid the pinching, but Gunwook isn’t so lucky.
“Don’t worry hyung,” Gunwook says through squished cheeks, “it’s just for fun. We’ll be back for lunch.”
Hao finally lets the boy go with a sigh, “Alright. Let me get you some pastries to take for breakfast.”
“Did you make a yule log today?” Yujin asks hopefully.
“Han Yujin, you are not eating chocolate cake for breakfast,” Hao scolds, bagging two muffins for them and handing them to Gunwook.
“There’s one cooling right now though. You can have some if you win the game.”
“You’re not even going to be there! How would you know?” Yujin crosses his arms.
“I have my sources,” Hao smirks.
Yujin grumbles and drags Gunwook out of the cafe. “Has his sources… you better not snitch and ruin this for me just because you’re obsessed with hyung,” Yujin points a finger at his friend, who is likely Hao’s only source at all. Ricky and Taerae were right, he doesn’t get out much.
They fall into silence for a few moments as they get a few feet away from the cafe, “If you’re mad about the cake, I promise I’ll tell Hyung you won,” Gunwook says, turning to look at Yujin as they walk side by side.
“No it’s not about that…” Yujin trails off, “Do you think Hao hyung is lonely?”
“What do you mean?” Gunwook asks.
“Well, I mean he has us,” Yujin says, “he has Taerae hyung and Ricky hyung… but that’s kind of it. And Ricky was right, he basically never leaves the cafe unless he’s going out to get something for the cafe.”
Gunwook pauses to think about what Yujin is implying. Is his favorite hyung lonely underneath the bright exterior he’s been putting on?
“We should try to set him up with someone,” Yujin resolves, “He hasn’t dated anyone in a long time, not since we moved here.”
That’s a big leap, Gunwook thinks, but maybe it would help. “With who?” He asks.
“What about Taerae hyung!” Yujin suggests, “Since they’re already close, they would probably be a good match…”
Gunwook tries to imagine it, but he doesn’t really see it, “Are you sure?”
“I’m his brother,” Yujin resolves, “If anyone would know, it’s me.”
*
Yujin waits until Hao has affectionately patted him on the head and served him a large slice of cake before he makes his move. Gunwook still doesn’t seem entirely convinced by Yujin’s plan, but the younger isn’t sure it’s not his friend's personal hero-worship-crush-obsession that’s getting in the way of seeing the vision. Hao hyung and Taerae hyung would be perfect together, annoying certainly, but perfect nonetheless.
Swallowing a bite of cake, he turns to Taerae behind the bar. There aren’t that many guests in the cafe at the time, since it’s started raining outside, but the pastry case is nearly empty, so business must have been good in the morning. Good thing Yujin has brother privilege, or the pair might not have gotten any of Hao’s famous yule log.
“Taerae hyung,” Yujin calls out, and the barista comes out from behind the bar to greet him. That’s the good thing about being the baby of this family, Yujin thinks, even if everyone teases him, they all will listen to what he has to say. “What do you think of Hao hyung?”
Taerae startles, like that’s not the question he was expecting. “Er, is this a test?” He asks, “He’s a great boss. He lets me pick my days off. I love the cafe.” Taerae starts rattling off his favorite things about the job.
Yujin raises a hand to stop him, “Don’t worry, it’s not a test… and I meant personally. What do you think of Hyung personally?” At this point, Ricky has become curious enough at the questioning to be drawn over to the table as well.
“Oh well…” Taerae trails off. He’d been prepared for this question even less, “He’s really kind and he’s a good hyung to everyone. He’s one of the hardest working people I know.”
“That’s right, he always tries to help everyone,” Yujin leads, “Don’t you think he deserves someone to take care of him too?”
Taerae nods, “I do.”
Yujin smiles widely, “Good. I think you would be a great with match for him. You’re single right? Do you want to date hyung?”
Taerae splutters, Ricky guffaws out loud, and Hao chooses that exact moment to come out of the kitchen. “What’s going on here?” He questions, eyes narrowed.
“Hao hyung,” Taerae tries to greet, but now he’s laughing too, “Yujin-ah thinks we should start dating! What do you say?”
Zhang Hao looks between Yujin and Taerae in shock, “Excuse me?”
Yujin purses his lips, “I think you’re not taking this seriously…”
“Of course I’m not,” Taerae says, “Were you being serious?”
“Of course I was being serious!!” Yujin has to resist the urge to stomp his foot. “You’re single right Taerae hyung? Why wouldn’t it work?”
Hao decides it’s time to intervene, “Yujin-ah, you can’t just try to set me up with random people.”
“Taerae hyung is not a random person. He’s our friend.” Yujin insists.
Hao looks like he has more to say, but Taerae puts his hand on Hao’s shoulder and looks him in the eyes seriously. “Hao hyung, I like you. I admire you as my boss. But romantically, I think we would both agree, we are not… compatible.”
It’s the seriousness of Taerae’s expression that causes Hao to break because he knows exactly what Taerae means. He starts laughing too, “Ah, Taerae-yah, I’m glad you see it too. I’m sorry this couldn’t work out. You’re still one of my best friends.”
Now it’s Yujin’s turn to be confused. Have they had this discussion before? The pair were certainly compatible personality-wise, since they seemed to have the same lame humor, so why wouldn’t they give it a shot? But Gunwook just pats his shoulder softly and whispers, “Don’t worry. We’ll do better next time.”
The bell to the entrance rings and Jiwoong and Matthew step into the cafe. Matthew is wrapped up in a big scarf that would look more familliar on Jiwoong than him. As regulars of the cafe, they’ve walked into any number of strange situations, but Hao and Taerae staring deep into each other’s eyes while Ricky laughs behind them is a new one.
“What’s going on here?” Matthew asks, walking straight up to them.
“Yujin-ah tried to set Hao hyung and Taerae hyung up together,” Ricky says through peals of laughter that haven’t stopped since this whole situation arose.
“Like romantically?” Jiwoong confirms, and Ricky nods.
“That would never work,” Matthew says, brows furrowed, “Because Taerae is mine.”
“Ooh, drama,” Ricky chants, “Anyone want some tea?”
“Ah Matthew-yah, you know I would never cheat on you,” Taerae teases, “I shut Hao hyung down lightly though. Don’t worry, you’ll still be welcome in your favorite cafe.”
“Good,” Matthew says, “Hao hyung makes the best pastries anyways. He’d be too hard to replace.” Matthew catches a glimpse of the cake on Yujin’s plate.
“You made yule log?” He cheers, “Can I get a slice hyung, please?” He turns the puppy eyes onto Hao, who is remiss to deny and goes to fetch a slice for the other man.
Matthew drags Jiwoong by the hand to their usual table next to the window. He jokes that just the presence of Jiwoong visible from the street will boost business to the cafe, and he’s not wrong.
Zhang Hao has asked Taerae about the pair’s relationship before, given that he assumed that based on their living situation, Matthew and Jiwoong were probably a couple. Taerae had only shrugged and said he doesn’t really know either. As far as he knew, Matthew and Jiwoong weren’t a couple. Matthew and Taerae certainly weren’t a couple. But as long as he’d known Matthew, he’d always been affectionate like that. Hao wondered how Taerae was fine to live in that kind of ambiguity. Wouldn’t it be better to lay out boundaries before someone got hurt? Still, it wasn’t Hao’s place to get involved, not unless something happened to hurt his precious friend.
After he rings up Matthew and Jiwoong’s order, he pulls out his phone, debating if he should text Hanbin about what just happened in the cafe. They’ve gotten to that point in their friendship now where after something happens, Hanbin is the first person Hao thinks of. He wishes the other could be here with them too.
“Already texting your man?” Taerae teases.
“Hyung has a boyfriend?” Gunwook nearly knocks over a chair in shock.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Hao chides, “He’s just my friend.”
“Who is it?” Gunwook tries not to sound to curious, he’s supposed to be collected around his coolest hyung.
“Wait, are you still talking to him?” Yujin wonders allowed, “The mail guy? What was his name, Hambin?”
Hao nods, “Yeah, he’s really nice actually.”
“Oh,” Yujin says, he sounds surprised. He though his hyung had given up on returning the mail once he figured out the other man lived across the world from them.
Later that night, he confesses his worries over the phone to Gunwook. Is his hyung really that lonely that one of his closest friends is a random guy he met online? They really needed to double down on this matchmaking thing before the situation got any worse.
8:15 PM
shbeen_0613
hyung, if i don’t text you back
it’s because i’m on a flight
it’s really long…
10:00 PM
jjangguri_00
Am I too late??
Have a safe flight Hanbin-ah!
Hanbin hadn’t texted Hao back by the morning, so it must have been a seriously long flight. Hao wondered if Hanbin would send him pictures of the place he was traveling to. Maybe he was going on vacation for the holidays.
It’s busy anyway at the cafe, so Hao wouldn’t have much time to text the other anyways. Still, the phone is practically burning a hole in his apron with how much he is anticipating a text from Hanbin.
Just after the lunch rush, he finally feels the buzz. Quickly, he runs to the back to check.
9:00 AM
shbeen_0613
don’t worry hyung, i landed safely!
jjangguri_00
hanbin-ah, isn’t it the middle of the night for you?
shbeen_0613
nope! it’s morning now~
Was Hanbin in the same timezone as Hao now? It was morning in Korea too…
Hao quickly puts his phone away and into his apron when he hears the tinkling of the entrance bell. A sight for eyes walks through the door.
“Bin!” Taerae cheers, “You’re back!”
Iced-Americano-Bin looks tired, like he’s come here after a long day of traveling. Hao hopes his visit to see family went well, and resolves himself to try to convince the man to stay a bit longer that afternoon so Hao can ask him about it. To his surprise, since Bin usually loiters and chats a bit with Taerae or some of the other customers he might know, Bin marches right up to Hao at the register.
“Hi,” He greets. Hao thinks he sounds a bit out of breath, or maybe relieved, but that wouldn’t really make sense in context, so maybe he just ran here?
“Hi Bin-ssi,” Hao greets with a smile, “It’s good to see you. The usual?”
Though it’s the usual tone Hao greets him with, he thinks he notices a flash of disappointment cross Bin’s expression. Still, something in Bin’s eyes seems resolved, and he reaches into his jacket pocket for something. It’s a small keychain with a cartoon-like plush racoon hanging off of it. Handing it to Hao he says, “I saw this while I was traveling and thought of you.”
Hao can’t stop the blush that works it’s way from his ears to his cheeks. His neck is probably red too, but at least it’s covered by his button-up shirt uniform.
“Oh, you didn’t have to,” Hao says awkwardly, accepting the keychain. It is really cute. The racoon has sewn on pink blushes on its cheeks, and it’s one of the more endearing gifts Hao has ever received.
Bin awkwardly puts his hands into his pockets, like he’s not sure what to do with them now that he’s given Hao the keychain.
“So, um…” Bin trails off, “The usual, I guess.”
Hao punches in the order, trying to keep his hands steady.
“How was your trip?” Hao asks, looking down at the register so he doesn’t have to meet Bin’s eyes.
“It was really nice. I stayed with my parents in France for a while,” Bin explains, “They’re retired and sort of just traveling around Europe now.”
“That sounds like fun,” Hao smiles. Taerae slides the iced americano over to Bin with a half smile.
“Well uh,” Bin says, taking the takeout cup, “It was good to see you. I’ll be back.”
At least Ricky has the kindness to wait for Bin to have left before he rounds on Hao. “What was that? That was so awkward Hyung…”
Hao lets his hands rise to his cheeks, which still feel too warm to him, “I don’t know, I just… I didn’t expect that.”
“He must really like you…” Taerae says, reaching out for the keychain that’s sticking out of Hao’s apron pocket, but Hao deflects him.
“I just…” Hao tries to explain, “He’s really sweet but…”
“But your heart belongs to someone else,” Taerae says knowingly.
“No…” Hao replies, then pauses and sighs, “Yes.”
“You should tell him,” Taerae advises.
“I’ve never even met him…” Hao says, the thought that’s been plaguing him since he started acknowledging the feelings he has for Hanbin might be more than platonic.
“Does it matter?” Taerae asks.
Something hardens in Hao. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe he should take a chance for once instead of trying to calculate every step before it happened. Maybe Hanbin was worth the risk.
9:07 PM
jjangguri_00
[missed call at 9:07 PM]
shbeen_0613
did you try to call me??
jjangguri_00 is typing…
After closing the cafe, eating dinner with Yujin, and settling himself into his favorite place on the couch, Zhang Hao was finally ready to do. Not only was he going to confess, he was going to do it over the phone, because Hanbin deserved to hear the words from Hao’s mouth itself.
Or maybe that was just the two glasses of wine talking, because as soon as he pressed the dial button, he panicked and ended the call. He couldn’t do this. This was too much. He wasn’t ready.
Hao has to beat back the voice in his head. He is ready. He’s never acted like this before. There’s no reason to be nervous. If Hanbin doesn’t take it well, they’ll just never talk again. Sure, it will break Hao’s heart, but it’s not like they’ll ever see each other.
But he really can’t do it over the phone. He’s just going to have to do it in writing.
9:10 PM
jjangguri_00
Let me finish first, then reply
shbeen_0613
ok hyung, i trust you
jjangguri_00
Please don’t laugh at me but
These past few weeks talking to you
have made me really happy and
I really like you, Hanbin-ah, romantically.
And I understand if you don’t feel the
same, but I just wanted to tell you
in case you do. Because, I would really
like if we could be something more
than just friends.
shbeen_0613 is typing…
Zhang Hao’s heart is torn between seizing up and shutting down. What’s taking him so long to come up with a response? Is he just trying to find a way to let him down gently? Was this all a mistake?
9:15 PM
shbeen_0613
are you confessing to me hyung?
jjangguri_00
Don’t tease me…
shbeen_0613
hao hyung, i really like you too
i didn’t know how to tell you
i thought it might be weird
because of how we met but
i really like you hyung so much
i don’t know what to do
jjangguri_00
Even though we wouldn’t be like a
normal couple, I still want to try
shbeen_0613
try what, hyung?
jjangguri_00
Ah, you’re really going to make me say it
shbeen_0613
hyung do you want me to be your boyfriend?
jjangguri_00
If you want to
shbeen_0613
i’ve just been waiting for you to ask <3
jjangguri_00
<3
*
Zhang Hao thinks for some reason it should’ve been harder than this. But maybe he and hanbin are just so in synch that they can make it work. They have to make it work, because Hao doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy in a relationship, even if it’s just the honeymoon period. To be honest, not much about there relationship has really changed. Hanbin still texts him good morning and good night, only now, they’re in the same time zone and don’t have to respond to one another’s messages after hours of delay.
The only people he’s told so far are Taerae and Ricky, since they were the ones who encouraged him to go for it in the first place. He feels bad to keep it from Yujin, but since his brother’s last attempt at meddling in Hao’s love life, at least for now, he wants to wait before telling him about his new online boyfriend.
If the pair had thought Hao was happy when he was only friends with Hanbin, they would say he’s practically glowing now. Not only was Zhang Hao stocking the pastry case with new elaborate treats, but he even didn’t mind running the register and chatting with customers. The warmth in his chest whenever he thought of his lover never abated, and Zhang Hao hoped it never would.
The cafe is full of familiar faces after the holidays end, everyone having gone and returned to the cafe to debrief with their friends on the highs and lows of their time. Hao has been chatting on and off with Bin sitting at the bar, who seems to get more charming every conversation Hao has with him, though Hao’s heart is loyal to his boyfriend however many miles away he is. Hao, Taerae, and Ricky are also aided by Yujin who’s been collecting cups and washing dishes much to his chagrin. It’s his last day of break, and he’d rather be doing anything else, that is until Jiwoong comes through the door.
This day he isn’t flanked by his roommate, so Matthew must be working. The older of the two roommates doesn’t often come alone, since Matthew is the one with the sweet tooth, but he waves at everyone as he walks in, and Yujin decides it’s time to make his move.
Yujin and Gunwook had several in depth conversations about their next target for a partner for Hao, and after much deliberation, had settled on Jiwoong. They were 99% convinced that he wasn’t dating Matthew after eavesdropping on Hao and Taerae’s conversation, which meant that the handsome regular was the perfect option to stay by Hao’s side.
As cool as possible, Yujin slinks from the back towards Jiwoong the register. At the last moment before he passes the older man, he flashes him a silent look that he hopes says forgive me , then trips and spills an iced latte all over him.
“Oh no, Jiwoong hyung…” Hao scrambles to the other side of the bar, “Yujin, apologize to him, right now.”
Yujin bows profusely, then runs behind the bar to grab a wad of paper towels. He unceremoniously shoves them at Hao and steps back to admire his handiwork. Zhang Hao has never missed an opportunity to fuss over someone, carefully wiping up the latte from Jiwoong’s jacket. It seems to be coming out decently well, so Yujin thinks he won’t be in too much trouble. What’s most important is the proximity between his hyung and Jiwoong. As the older struggles to take the paper towels from Hao to clean the jacket himself, Hao insists on helping. It’s a meet-cute perfectly engineered by Yujin’s own design and he deserves a pat on the back for this one.
Then a third person interrupts Yujin’s perfectly managed scenario. “Jiwoong hyung,” Bin says, “I don’t think the towels are really working. You’ll probably have to wash the jacket.”
He puts himself in between Jiwoong and Hao under the guise of surveying the damage, “It’s probably better to do it sooner than later huh, what if it stains?”
It felt like there was some kind of silent conversation going on between the two that Yujin had no way of translating. Zhang Hao seemed equally confused.
“Oh, don’t worry. I can wash it for you here Hyung,” Hao offers, reaching out for the jacket, but again Bin stops him.
“Not really a point if Jiwoong hyung lives next door,” Bin points out. Hao deflates a little at being shut down and Bin rushes to say, “Not that I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate your help.”
Jiwoong looks between the two of them, also confused. Maybe Bin wasn’t as good at communicating telepathically as he thought. “Actually, Hao that would be great if you could wash it for me. I actually have to rush to a meeting, I only planned to get something to go…”
Hao rushes forward to grab the jacket, “Oh really? I’m so sorry Hyung. What do you want? It’s on the house. Just let Ricky know and I’ll take this to the laundry.”
Turning on his heel, Hao starts to head up the stairs. Then, he turns back, grabs Yujin’s arm, and drags his brother behind him. Maybe the older is more mad than he thought.
Zhang Hao lectures Yujin about safety and customer service for the next five minutes while he sets the washing machine. Yujin supposes he probably deserves it. Just when he thinks he can finally escape, Hao stops him.
“Look, I know you think you’re trying to help me,” Hao tells him, “But the truth is, I’m already seeing someone.”
“The mail guy?” Yujin asks, even though they both know his name, it’s become a sort of inside joke at this point that Hanbin will probably never shake.
Hao nods and Yujin accepts defeat. “As long as you like him,” Yujin decides, “But tell him I want to meet him some day.”
It would be pathetic for Hao to say he hopes he can meet the other one day too, so he just hugs Yujin tightly instead of replying.
“You’re relieved of cafe duties for the rest of the day,” Hao tells him, “Enjoy the last day of break okay?” Yujin doesn’t have to be told twice. Hao heads back down the stairs towards the cafe, but pauses in the stairwell when he hears raised voices.
*
“Hanbin Hyung, I don’t know what you think you’re doing,” Taerae confronts Bin after the whole confrontation has ended, and the cafe is back to regular business.
“I mean, I thought I had made my intentions quite clear but–” Hanbin starts to say, but Taerae cuts him off again. It’s strange to see the normally so ambivalent man angry, and Hanbin finds himself feeling cornered where Taerae has taken to interrogating him in the back of the cafe.
“At first I thought it was a bad idea for you to even start coming here,” Taerae tells him harshly, “but you played nice. You never said anything bad, but now…”
“Taerae, you know I would never say anything bad about this place. I know I was angry before but,” Hanbin tries to explain but Taerae doesn’t seem to want to let the older man get a full sentence out before interrupting.
“But what?” Taerae pressures, “But you changed your mind?”
“Because of him,” Hanbin caves and confesses, “It was all because of him.”
Taerae softens for a second. If it wasn’t clear from their conversation that the pair had a shared history, it was obvious now. But then Taerae hardens again, expression curving into a frown.
“Well you’re too late. He’s seeing someone, and they’re very happy together.” Taerae informs him plainly, “So don’t go trying to break them up.”
“He’s seeing someone?” Hanbin asks, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. The stress is palpable in his voice when he asks, “Who?”
“Some guy he met online,” Taerae waves him off, “I don’t know his name.”
But for some reason, Taerae’s reply seems to relieve Hanbin. “Taerae, Hao hyung is seeing me,” Hanbin says confidently, “I’m the guy online.”
“No way…” Taerae refuses to believe it, “Hyung said the guy lives in a completely different time zone.”
“I was, for the last few weeks. I was staying with my parents in Europe,” Hanbin points out.
It’s like something clicks in Taerae’s head, “And that’s why he calls you the Mail Guy. Because you used to live here.”
But at this point Hao has heard enough. There’s no doubting it, his dear Hanbin and the regular Bin are the same person. The sound of his own heartbeat rattles in his ears, and Hao looks down to see his knuckles are white where he’s gripping the guide to the staircase. Why did he never say anything? Should he go out there and confront him. The thought makes Hao feel even weaker. Did he not say anything on purpose? Is he just playing with Hao’s feelings? Has he known the whole time? Was he ever planning on telling Hao?
He turns around and flees back into the apartment without hearing the rest of the conversation, breathing heavily as he shuts the door to the laundry room, sinking down to the floor.
It’s like everything in his life has been upended, and in the worst way possible.
*
Taerae pauses, the realization sinking into the air, “Hanbin hyung, does Hao know?”
“Know what?” Hanbin replies, confused.
“Know that you’re Sung Hanbin,” Taerae clarifies.
“I thought he did…” Hanbin trails off. Because maybe he didn’t know. Hanbin had been confused when Hao didn’t seem to recognize him when he came back to the cafe, but he thought Hao had just been playing it up the way they used to talk to each other before they started talking online.
“Taerae I think he doesn’t know,” Hanbin realizes.
“You have to tell him,” Taerae announces, “Like right now.”
“Right now?” Hanbin freezes, “I can’t do it right now.”
“Why not?”
“What if he doesn’t like me?”
Taerae lets out a sigh of exasperation.
“No, it can’t be now,”Hanbin decides, “I need to plan something. It has to be perfect for him!”
Taerae throws his hands up in the air, “God, you’re both the same!”
*
Hanbin is neck deep in research on the meanings of different floral arrangements when he gets the text.
7:53 PM
jjangguri_00
Hanbin-ah, I think we should talk.
shbeen_0613
about what hyung?
jjangguri_00 is typing…
It takes Hao almost five minutes to send the message, and Hanbin wishes he never did.
jjangguri_00
I’m really sorry but
I don’t think this is going to work
shbeen_0613
what?? hyung, is it something i did?
jjangguri_00
I just don’t think we know each other well enough
shbeen_0613 is typing…
jjangguri_00
It would be better if we didn’t talk anymore
shbeen_0613
let’s meet and talk about this, please
hyung?
you mean so much to me
please, i don’t want to lose you
[missed call at 8:10 PM]
[missed call at 8:11 PM]
8:00 AM
shbeen_0613
good morning hyung
[message failed to be delivered]
fuck
[message failed to be delivered]
Hanbin tries to visit the cafe as soon as its supposed to open the next morning, but there’s a closed sign on the door. It’s pouring rain, but he tries knocking on the apartment’s separate entrance anyways. He’s drenched, but finds himself greeted by a sleepy Yujin. Despite his messy bedhead, he resembles a guard dog more than the cheery young teen he’s used to greeting in the cafe.
“He doesn’t want to see you,” Yujin says point blank.
“I just want to apologize,” Hanbin insists.
“What are you apologizing for?” Yujin asks.
“Er…” Hanbin tries to explain.
“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for,” Yujin replies angrily.
Gunwook appears in the doorway carrying a box, which he drops at Hanbin’s feet with a thump.
“What is this?” Hanbin asks.
“Your mail,” Gunwook smiles, but it’s all teeth.
“Oh,” Hanbin says dumbly. He’d forgotten all about the reason he’d connected with Hao in the first place. Unconsciously he reaches down to pick up the box of letters and advertisements. It’s pretty heavy, and Hanbin is a bit surprised Hao had collected it all so meticulously. He feels like the stereotype of the ex-boyfriend being kicked out on the front steps. In some ways, he guesses he is.
“Will you tell him I came?” Hanbin pleads.
“Hm,” Gunwook considers, “No.”
Then the door shuts in his face.
He finds himself trudging next door and knocking on Matthew and Jiwoong’s door. It’s probably too early for either them to be awake, but eventually, Matthew lets him in.
“You look like a sad, wet puppy.” Matthew comments.
“Thanks,” Hanbin replies, resisting the urge to shake out his hair and prove just that.
He sets the now soggy box down on the ground.
“What’s all that?” Matthew kneels down to inspect the contents.
Jiwoong, ever the good hyung, offers Hanbin a towel and a cup of tea.
“Is this all your mail?” Matthew questions incredulously.
“I guess so,” Hanbin says sheepishly, “I had no idea there would be so much…”
“You’re lucky Hao hyung fell for your charms because if it was me I would have just thrown it all out and demanded the person cancel all their subscriptions,” Matthew tells him.
And Hanbin swears he’s not a crybaby, but at Matthew’s words, he can’t help but feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes.
“Oh no no no,” Matthew points at him, “I cannot deal with two of you.”
It takes a second for Hanbin to process what Matthew means.
“Hao hyung has been crying too?” Now he really can’t stop the tears from escaping as he slumps down against their couch.
“Not the leather–” Jiwoong starts to say, but it’s already too late.
He must look downright miserable, because Matthew lets out a long suffering sigh and sits down beside his crying friend. He takes out his phone.
“Hyung told me he wasn’t feeling well this morning, so the cafe would be closed. I read between the lines a little,” Matthew explains.
“Wait, Matthew, you have Hao hyung’s phone number?” Hanbin sits up immediately, “Can you text him for me? Please?”
“I really shouldn’t…” Matthew tells him and Hanbin’s heart sinks.
“Please, Matthew-yah, you’re my best friend,” Hanbin pleads.
Matthew caves, “Fine. What do you want me to say?”
“Just ask him if he’s okay, please.” Hanbin asks, voice small.
“Okay, he says he’s fine,” Matthew says, “Good enough?”
“Will you ask him what I did wrong?”
Matthew sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Fine.”
This time the reply takes a few minutes. Then a few minutes more. Finally, Matthew gets a call.
“Hi Hao Hyung,” Matthew greets, then makes a shushing gesture at Hanbin.
“No, no reason at all. I was just wondering because, well uh, honestly Hanbin hyung seems really upset about the whole thing and–”
“Yes, I did say Hanbin hyung.”
“Do I know him? Yes, I mean we both grew up here.”
“Wait no, Hao hyung, please don’t hang up!”
At this point, Hanbin has had enough and he tries to take the phone from Matthew’s grasp, but Jiwoong holds him back.
“Hao hyung, please!” Hanbin tries to be heard, “Please just let me explain!”
The dial tone rings through the apartment.
“What happened?” Jiwoong asks, releasing Hanbin and letting him further sink into the couch in a depression. Would it really be so bad if he just melted right into it? Maybe Hao would come over sometime to hang out with Matthew and Jiwoong and Hanbin would get to see him again. Hanbin slaps himself physically, that was too desperate.
“So um, apparently Hao hyung didn’t know that we all knew each other…” Matthew admits, “So that one is on me. But uh, he assumed we were ‘in on Hanbin’s plot’ and thus never wants to talk to us again.”
Hanbin buries his face in his hands. “Care to explain this ‘plot’ Hanbin?” Jiwoong asks, the most rational in the room at this point.
So Hanbin recounts the last few months, from his first visit to the cafe, to the random message he’d received from Hao a few weeks ago when he’d gone to visit his mother. He explains how he was so certain everything was going well, until Taerae had told him a few days prior that Hao didn’t actually know the Sung Hanbin Hao knew online was the same person as the Bin from the cafe, and that night Hao had broken up with him out of the blue. Now Hao has him blocked, so there’s no way for him to contact the older, and he can’t even try to talk to Taerae or Ricky when the cafe is closed.
Jiwoong ponders all this for far longer than Hanbin would like. Had he really done something wrong and just totally missed it?
“It’s probably all just a misunderstanding then,” Jiwoong concludes, “If what you’re saying is true. Hao probably somehow found out about the whole two identities thing and he’s upset you didn’t tell him.”
“How was I supposed to know to tell him!” Hanbin complains, “I thought he already knew…”
“Why did he always call you Bin anyways?” Matthew asks.
Hanbin blushes, “Er, well… I think the first time I came to the cafe Yujin took my name down wrong, and Hao has just thought that was my name ever since.”
The sound of Matthew’s face palm is heard ringing throughout the apartment.
“Ok, mutual idiocy aside,” Jiwoong starts to say.
“Hao hyung is not an idiot!” Hanbin defends.
Jiwoong just side eyes him and continues, “This can be fixed. We will find a way to fix this. At least so Matthew and I do not get banned from the cafe. Because if I have to start another morning without one of Hao’s muffins, you’re dead Sung Hanbin.”
*
It’s ultimately Taerae and Ricky who have to pull Hao out of his wallowing once the weekend it over. They’re the only two who can get past the guard dogs, and also the only ones who will tell Hao to get his act together instead of just handing him tissues (Yujin) and ice cream (Gunwook).
“Men aint shit .” Taerae insists, as he drags Hao down the stairs and into the kitchen.
“Don’t let him ruin something you love,” Ricky agrees, “Now come on, Yujin has had enough fielding angry dms about when the cafe will reopen. Let’s get going.”
And that’s enough for Hao to wipe his tears and put his apron back on. There’s people that depend on him and Petals on the Moon cafe too much to keep letting them down.
Maybe it helps a little that Hao refuses to work the front for a while, and he can just stay in his element and produce trays and trays of muffins, croissants, cakes. Someone requests it? Hao produces is it. Baking is an excellent distraction, only it’s gotten to the point where Ricky and Taerae are almost giving out more free samples than selling the pastries.
Taerae informs him that for the first few days, Hanbin had tried to visit the cafe. They’d served him quickly and he’d left when he realized Hao wouldn’t be coming out of the kitchen. Every time it’d happen, Taerae would tell him right away. It almost hurt more when he stopped coming.
The homemade sign by Yujin informing patrons on the door that “We reserve the right to deny service to ALL hamsters,” with a cartoon hamster depicted with Xs for eyes probably had something to do with it. Not that Hao knew about it since Yujin insisted it was for the best.
For the most part, everyone just leaves him alone to his work. Hao enjoys the silence for a while, and then it becomes suffocating being trapped with only his thoughts. Whatever empty space the baking was filling inside of him feels gaping again, but Hao knows anything is just a bandaid for human-shaped hole in his heart. But that can’t be fixed, so he starts putting on music instead. The blasting girl group songs certainly slow Hao’s speed of production based on his need to get up and dance every time a song he likes comes on, which is all of them, but he feels a bit happier at least.
Except once, when the cafe is empty and Ricky is the only one working, does the younger come in to speak with him. They haven’t talked about what happened one-on-one, not really, and most of what Ricky knows probably comes from Taerae or Yujin rather than from Hao himself. But today, Ricky is ready to rectify that.
He pauses Hao’s playlist and sits down at the stool next to the counter. Hao immediately reaches to turn it back on again, but Ricky stops him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ricky asks.
“Not really,” Hao says with a shrug.
“You’re going to have to eventually,” Ricky points out.
“Or maybe I won’t,” Hao hopes.
“Let me rephrase,” Ricky says, “You’re a mess. Hanbin hyung is a mess. What happened?”
“Oh so he’s Hanbin hyung to you too?” Hao fixates on, tone coming out sharp and bitter.
“Yes, he is.” Ricky stands up and steps closer to Hao, forcing the older to meet his gaze, “Because some of us are friendly, and want to make friends with the nice patrons of the cafe, who have connections with people all over the town.”
Hao deflates, “Fine. Okay, whatever. You win.”
“What happened Hyung?” Ricky pressures.
And maybe Hao really was like a pressurized bottle about to reach his breaking point, because something about Ricky’s words, reminding him how good of a person Hanbin seemed to be causes him to snap. “What happened was he was everything to me and I told him everything,” Hao seethes, “But I was nothing to him.”
“Hyung, you and I both know that’s not true,” Ricky tries to ease him.
“Isn’t it? How many times could he have told me the truth? He didn’t. Maybe he wasn’t ever going to,” Hao turns away from Ricky, back towards his mixing bowl.
“What if it was just a misunderstanding?” Ricky tries.
“The only misunderstanding here, is that you don’t understand this conversation is over,” Hao frowns, aggressively beating the eggs in the bowl, “Go back to the front. I don’t pay you to give me life advice.”
Ricky sighs, “Fine. But just know, you’re not the only one effected by this. You and Hanbin weren’t the only planets in the universe. And now you’ve thrown off everyone’s gravity. Gyuvin hasn’t texted me back in days either.”
It’s only the last sentence that attracts Hao’s attention, “Yah! Shen Quanrui!” He yells at Ricky’s back as he walks through the door, “When did you start talking to Gyuvin?”
*
Taerae’s scheduled for his weekly day off that morning, and as much as Hao begs him to come in anyways, the younger insists that it’s time to face the music. The music being, Hao will have to come out of his kitchen-cave and man the register for a few hours. He’s not worried about Hanbin coming in, the man hasn’t been seen in the cafe in more than a week.
But as he stands behind the bar, writing orders on cups and passing them down to Ricky, he realizes maybe it wasn’t Hanbin he had to worry about.
The bell above the door chimes with a new arrival, and Kim Gyuvin makes his way to the register sheepishly. Hao turns to glare at Ricky, who just puts his hands up in surrender and says, “Sorry Hyung. It had to be done.”
Though he’s silently fuming at his part-timer’s audacity, he tries not to let it show when he turns to give his best customer service smile to Gyuvin.
“What would you like this morning, Gyuvin-ssi,” Hao greets.
Gyuvin gulps, “Um, a latte please. And uh, an iced americano, to go?”
Hao’s eyes narrow, “Anything else?”
Taking a minute to look behind him, where there are currently no other customers in line, Gyuvin takes a large inhale, and starts talking, “Look, I know you don’t want to hear it. But you’re not listening to Hyung. And Hyung is just crying all the time about this. So I’m doing it. And before you ask, he didn’t tell me to do this. He doesn’t know I’m here. AND please, please do not add a puppy ban next to the hamster one and stop me from seeing the love of my life BUT‒”
“Gyuvin-ssi, please slow down,” Hao sighs, “I’m listening.”
Gyuvin lets out a large breath, “Really? Okay. Um, I just want to maybe, explain a little bit, about why Hyung didn’t say anything.”
Hao gestures for him to continue on, it’s not like he will banish him from the shop, not before figuring out what’s going on between him and Ricky. “So basically, Hanbin used to live here. You know this already. But, Hanbin grew up here. His mom used to run the cafe all throughout our childhood.”
This makes sense to Hao, more sense than Hanbin somehow owning the real estate for some reason. “But last year, she retired, and she wanted to sell the cafe,” Gyuvin tells Hao, “This made Hanbin really upset, since the cafe had been in the family for so long. He wanted to quit his teaching job and take over the cafe full time. But his mom didn’t want him to give up his dream, so she sold the cafe behind his back. Um, she sold it to you.”
“I think he didn’t mean to lie to you about his identity. At first, I think he just thought it would be weird, to tell you he was the old cafe owner’s son you know,” Gyuvin tells Hao, and Hao hates how much sense that makes, “But I don’t think there was ever a point Hanbin thought you didn’t know who he was at all. That’s not what he wanted. I’m sure he wanted to tell you.”
“Don’t put words in his mouth,” Hao says shortly.
“I mean I don’t really have a choice,” Gyuvin points out, “You won’t let him speak.”
“Gyuvin!” Ricky scolds from where he’s been indiscretly following the whole conversation.
Hao’s heart seems to drop from his chest to his feet. Because Gyuvin’s right, he really hadn’t given Hanbin a chance to say anything. He was so convinced he understood the whole story, he hadn’t even considered Hanbin might have had innocent reasons too.
“Do you think he would let me,” Hao finally says, “talk to him again?”
“I don’t think there’s anything he wants more,” Gyuvin says so earnestly, Hao actually believes it.
1:00 PM
jjangguri_00
Hanbin, I’ve been so terrible
I gave Gunwookie your mail
but I still have that letter
shbeen_0613
hyung??
it’s fine, don’t worry
how are you??
jjangguri_00
No, no
Hyung feels so badly
Please let me give it to you
shbeen_0613
but you said you never wanted
to talk to me again
jjangguri_00
I know, Hyung was so terrible
Can you forgive me?
Hanbin arrives at the cafe at promptly 4 PM, after his extra curricular class is dismissed at the school. He’s still a bit sweaty from the dance clubs he runs for the students, and maybe Hao is biased, but he doesn’t think the younger has ever looked more beautiful. Isn’t that how the saying goes, you only know you love them when you let them go? If Hanbin would let him, Hao will never let the other man go again.
Hao has had the cafe closed since 1, and he sent Ricky home with Gyuvin, whose relationship he still doesn’t understand, but there’s more important things to worry about than that right now.
For a minute, Hanbin just stands outside the door, and Hao doesn’t know why he won’t just come in until he remembers the sign. Bereaved, he pulls the door open and rips the sign down. He crumples it into a ball and tosses it somewhere behind the bar. He’d been aiming for the trashcan, but he’s sure he missed it. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the man in front of him, shining eyes following Hao’s every move.
“Sorry,” Hao says weakly, “I meant to talk to him about that.”
“It’s alright,” Hanbin shrugs, “You were hurting.”
“So were you,” Hao points out, “Do you want a coffee?”
They’re sitting at one of the cafe tables, Hanbin with an iced americano in front him, and Hao with a letter. He slowly slides it across to Hanbin.
“Sorry it took me so long to return it to you,” Hao says, “I got a little distracted.”
“Hyung,” Hanbin says, then pauses like he doesn’t want to ask his next question, but knows he needs to, “Is this your way of telling me to get out of your life forever?”
“What?” Hao shrieks, and Hanbin flinches. Hao wants to reach across the table for the younger’s hands, but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed. Even though he’s known Hanbin for months, he’s never known him in this context, as a man who knows everything about him, and yet they’ve never been this close before.
“No, no, that’s the last thing I want,” Hao insists, “This is a peace offerring. I’m asking you to forgive me.”
Hanbin doesn’t even take a second to reply, “You’re forgiven.”
“That’s not how this works, you’re supposed to make me work for it, give you a big apology about how sorry I am for hurting you,” Hao says.
“I don’t need one. I just forgive you. As long as you forgive me too.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I should’ve said something as soon as I came back,” Hanbin tells him, “Then we could’ve avoided this altogether.”
“Then I should’ve noticed everything too,” Hao replies, “You gave me a racoon keychain.”
It’s hanging off Hao’s nightstand now, he couldn’t bear himself to throw it away.
“Yeah, I thought I was being pretty obvious,” Hanbin admits, and there’s a blush rising on his cheeks, “But even if I had just been your regular in the cafe, I would have fallen for you Hyung.”
Now it’s Hao’s turn to blush, “I don’t think so…”
“You look pretty cute in your apron,” Hanbin smiles, “Even if you never gave me the time of day.”
“I would’ve,” Hao defends, “I always noticed you. Maybe I just wasn’t ready then. But…”
“But?”
“But I’m ready now,” Hao tells the other, trying to keep his voice steady. These are the words Hao should’ve said on the phone, the first time he confessed, “If you’re willing to give me another chance.”
“I don’t want to do this sitting down,” Hanbin says suddenly, standing up and bringing Hao up with a gentle grip on his wrist.
“Huh?” Hao says dumbly, before in what must be a practiced move, Hanbin sweeps Hao around and leans in to kiss him against the door to the kitchen. For a second, Hao’s brain is just static, until he brings his hands up to cup the younger’s cheeks, pressing him closer like Hanbin is the oxygen he needs to breathe.
When they part, Hao is breathless, his cheeks feel burning red, and Hanbin’s hair is obviously messed up where one of Hao’s hands had risen to curl into the soft brown strands.
“Have you done that before?” Hao asks breathily.
“No,” Hanbin smiles proudly, “But I imagined it, a lot.”
“With other boys?” Hao asks, lips just beginning to curl into a pout before Hanbin is leaning back in to kiss the expression off hiss face.
“Only with you.”
*
Hao has acquainted Hanbin with his favorite place on the couch, this time with blankets curled around them, and something playing on low on the television. The cafe had not reopened for the rest of the evening, and Yujin had taken one look at them after getting home from school, dropped his backpack, and announced he would be going for a sleepover at Gunwook’s.
Hanbin, sweet Hanbin, who knows how stressed Hao gets when Yujin goes somewhere on his own after dark, offers to drive the boy, but Yujin just waves him off and says he’ll text when he arrives. For once, Hao doesn’t feel stressed about it, not with Hanbin his arms, not with this city feeling more like home than ever.
Even though Hanbin had spent most of what was left of the afternoon kissing Hao deep into the couch cushions, they’ve only been talking for the last hour, lest they traumatize the teenager when he arrived at the apartment. Now though, Hanbin doesn’t feel any remorse as he leans in to pepper kisses all over Hao’s face. One for each mole and beauty mark he’d been forced to stare at for so long.
“I think there’s an invisible string connecting us,” Hanbin whispers, and it’s so cheesy that Hao should be cringing so hard, but somehow because it’s Hanbin he believes it.
“Just think about it!” Hanbin insists, “How many chances did the universe give us to meet?”
“Ok, ok,” Hao can’t help it, “I believe it.”
Hanbin frowns cutely, “I don’t think you do…”
“Was it the universe, or just you being too lazy to change the address on your subscriptions?”
But when Hanbin looks at him like that, all soft smiles, glittering eyes, and pink cheeks, Hao has no other choice. He reaches out to stroke Hanbin’s cheek, “I love you.”
He doesn’t know how it’s possible for his smile to get any brighter, “I love you too.”
*
Hanbin waits out the two years it takes Yujin to graduate before he officially moves into the apartment above the cafe. That doesn’t mean, Yujin argues, that he hadn’t practically lived there the whole time, since the older was almost always around, in the apartment, in the cafe, so Hao hyung really should have charged him rent! Then Hao makes a terrible joke about Hanbin paying rent in kisses and Yujin bullies Hanbin into putting a thousand won into the Kiss Jar even though the couple haven’t even kissed in front of him yet.
Having successfully graduated art school, Ricky unfortunately had to leave his part-timing days behind in favor of opening his own atelier just a few blocks away. That’s fine, since there was a very enthusiastic Gunwook happy to take his place, bringing a zeal to the cafe that has even more old women stoping by on the daily to visit the “darling boy.” Besides, Ricky and Gyuvin are happy to terrorize the cafe plenty still, just this time as customers. Given Hao’s unlikely success with online dating, Taerae decides to give it a try himself, though none of his matches so far have passed the test of a date at the cafe, where either Hao, Matthew, Hanbin, Yujin, Gunwook, or some combination will find something that makes them not good enough for their lovely Taerae.
Jiwoong receives a free muffin anytime he comes to the cafe for his valiant efforts in convincing Hanbin to convince Gyuvin to talk to Hao, while Matthew eventually returns to Hao’s good side by filling him in on all the neighborhood gossip he’d missed from all the years the group had known each other. The web of relationships runs thick in a small town, Hao learns, but he’s equally as happy to spin himself a place within all of it.
“Have I ever told you why I named the cafe Petals on the Moon?” Hao asks suddenly at the register, while Hanbin makes drinks behind the bar. He’s taken the role of an unofficial part-timer too, but mostly just so Hao can have an excuse to flirt with him in public. Hanbin shakes his head.
“Well, first I just thought it sounded cool,” Hao admitted, “But it also meant a lot to me. You know how hard I tried to fit in in Korea, but every time I thought I was accepted, there would be some new hurdle in the way. No matter what, people always tried to throw my otherness back at me. So that’s why it’s Petals on the Moon, something lovely to think about, but completely out of place.”
“Hyung…” Hanbin starts to say, “You’re not out of place here.”
“I know,” Hao smiles, “I know because you showed me that. You liked me even when you could have liked anyone else.”
“I would never have liked anyone else,” Hanbin vows, “It’s like I’ve known you my whole life.”
“Me too,” Hao says, and then he’s leaning in to kiss his lover, just a peck on the corner of his lips, because he would never be obscene in front of all these people, when they’re interrupted by a yell of
“Kiss jar!” Yujin barrels through the door, bells ringing wildly, “I’m not even going to count the number of people in here, just throw in a ten. I’m totally getting that Switch before next Christmas!”