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Chapter Text

Before you continue, this story contains some boy on boy stuff, and if you are uncomfortable with that then I'm sorry. This story is not for you

The Ice Prince is a fan fiction based on the two time Olympic champion figure skater, Yuzuru Hanyu. If you are not familiar with ice skating and have never seen Yuzuru skate before, PLEASE...Please just take a second and watch some of his videos on YouTube. Not only will you see what I honestly couldn't possibly describe well enough, but he will take your breath away sometimes. For real. Check him out.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Is the practice rink open yet?" I whispered to Coach Brian while he was on the phone. He nodded once and gave me a thumbs up so I grabbed my skates and headed that way quickly. I felt bad. I really did, but I couldn't spend another second in that room with him, listening to him defending my stupidity. I sighed heavily and rubbed at my chest. God, I had made that comment randomly and thought it was harmless at the time, but now it was all anyone could talk about and they'd twisted it into something that hadn't been my intention at all. That was the media though. I should have been more aware of myself and remembered that.

I jogged the last few feet and pushed the door open with my shoulder, wincing when my skates knocked against my thigh. I hissed and was rubbing at it when I heard music playing inside the rink. Huh... There was still quite a few hours until the competition actually started and I thought that I would be the only one out here practicing this early. Who else would be crazy enough to -

My breath caught in my throat when I saw a dark head shoot across the rink in a flash. Shit. Of course he was here first...

Current World Champion and Olympic favourite. I'd seen on the news how some of his fans had flown from all over the world just to see him skate. The wonder child from Japan. Yuzuru Hanyu. Even thinking of his name made my skin prickle with goose bumps. They said Yuzuru was fast becoming the greatest figure skater of our time and it was hard to argue watching him launch himself in the air and land a quadruple salchow like he was born doing them. If it were anyone else, my competitive jealousy might have spiked, but watching Yuzuru skate was somewhat like an honour. It didn't feel right to be jealous of him.

The music playing tinkered to an end and Yuzuru stopped in the middle of the ice. His chest was heaving and he waved his arms around slowly. I tiptoed closer to the rink just as another piece of music started playing. I'd never heard it before, but the rhythm was slightly different from what I'd usually seen him skate to in his competition programs. Yuzuru moved his body along with the music, bending and flowing and twisting his body in a way one rarely saw one move on something as precarious as ice skating blades.

The music turned darker and I watched him transform with it. He threw himself across the ice and my mouth fell open. My heart skipped a beat for a second when he dropped low and touched the ice, but he hadn't fallen he was just... gliding. Yuzuru ended his performance with his signature spin and then there was quiet in the arena.

I didn't realise I was clapping until Yuzuru spun around to look in my direction.

"I ...I'm sorry." He mumbled, skating to the edge of the ice.

"No, I ... That was beautiful." I chuckled and his eyes widened just a little. "I've never seen anyone skate like that before."

"I was just..." He breathed and waved his hands back to the ice. "I was just messing around. If you need the ice...I can leave."

"I was just coming to warm up." I shrugged and bent over so I could sit down on the bench and put on my skates. "You don't need to go. We can ..." I grunted as I pulled on the lace and tightened it around my ankle. "We can skate together if that's OK with you."

"To...gether?" He blinked at me and I nodded sharply.

"I don't mind." I smiled at him. "I'm Javier...by the way." He nodded minutely.

"Hanyu Yuzuru..."

"I know." I chuckled and he sucked in a breath as a blush coloured his cheeks. He looked back at the ice behind him for a moment.

"OK." He said eventually. "We can skate together."

I glanced to the side at Yuzuru as we skated around the edge of the ice lazily.

"Hey. What was that you were skating to just now?" I asked and he dipped further away from me for a bit, fidgeting with his hands.

"Nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing." I commented and he sniffed, wiping at his nose with his gloves.

"It's just something I like listening to sometimes." I nodded slowly.

"I like it."

"You do?"

"Mmm." I hummed. "It suits you." I grinned at him and he laughed softly, tucking some of his dark hair behind his ear.

"Really?"

"Is there anything else that you like skating to?" I asked him.

"Um..." He hesitated.

"Can I hear it?" I pressed and he bit his bottom lip before smiling at me slightly.

"OK..." He skated over to the laptop that was open on the table near the music system and tapped a few keys. When the music came on, I hung back in front of the Kiss and Cry booth to watch. Yuzuru looked my way quickly and after a while he started to skate again.

"Yes!" I laughed when he flew through the air and flung his leg in the air after kicking up some ice. "What the hell, that was so cool." I clapped my hands and he giggled when he skated past me, bowing a bit. I joined him in the middle of the rink and tried to copy what he was doing, but I knew there was no way I looked as graceful as he made it look.

"Bend." He poked at me.

"I'm trying!"

"From the core."

"I am."

"No, you're letting go too quickly."

"What?"

"Can I just..."

"Hey, that tickles..."

"Stop moving." He ordered and I cackled when he pinched my side.

"Wait, stop, I can't - "

"Yuzuru." Came a sharp voice from the side of the rink. Yuzuru let go of me like I was on fire and folded his arms behind his back.

"Sensei..."

Yuzuru:

Shit. I was in trouble. I could see it in the way Takahashi Sensei's lips were pinched and he had his eyes glued on Javier.

"I thought you were practicing." He said to me in Japanese.

"I was. I am." I tried not to grimace as I skated over to the laptop to switch off the music.

"It doesn't look like it to me. Do you think paying me means you can waste my time?" He said darkly and I shook my head sedately. "This is Worlds. You think you are here for yourself? You are here to represent the pride of your country, Yuzuru. The whole of Japan is looking at you. Watching." His eyes drifted to Javier again and he sneered.

"I'm sorry..." I muttered uselessly.

"You shouldn't be helping your rivals." He mumbled. "Get off the ice, we need to go over some warm ups on land."

"Hai, Sensei." I said, grabbing my laptop and skating to where he was waiting quickly. "And I thought I told you to stop skating to nonsense. Classic music invokes - "

I looked over my shoulder and gave a confused looking Javier a small wave goodbye. Well...it had been fun while it lasted.

"Come." Takahashi Sensei helped me onto the ice. "No more nonsense now, right? Make sure you remember the choreography exactly. No deviating." He hissed.

"Wakari masu." I said to him and made my way to the center of the ice.

I tried to focus like I was supposed to but my mind kept wandering back to the practice session I'd had with Javier earlier. Javier Fernandez... The Spanish figure skater who had popped up from almost nowhere only 3 months ago and was already collecting scores high enough for me to worry just a little about retaining my title as World Champion. I'd been surprised to see him in the practice arena so early. All the rumours I'd heard about him suggested that he was lazy and he was only skating by with pure talent and luck at the moment. Once he got tired of the hard work required to make it in the figure skating world, he would retire and balance would be restored. He hadn't seemed lazy though. Maybe a little undisciplined and sloppy in his technique...definitely charismatic. But not lazy.

I'd never said anything about it to anyone, but most of the skaters I competed with frequently enough knew that I liked to be in the middle of the rink for most of the practice time. This was when I focused on preparing my jumps and I wasn't sure if it was out of respect or fear that most of them gave me the space to do that.

I was just going through my step sequence leading up to my triple axel entry that I knew was giving me problems when something knocked into me and I dropped onto the ice like a stone. It all happened so fast I didn't even have time to try to break my fall. My head felt like it as ringing and my chin was on fire.

"All skaters, please leave the ice. Attention. All skaters, please leave the ice."

I wanted to move, but I couldn't even get my lungs to take a deep breath. Shit. What the hell was happening? I couldn't breathe... was I dying? It felt like I was dying.

"Hanyu-San? Can you hear me? Can you tell me if anything hurts?" I tried to nod at the man leaning over me but my head was spinning so badly. Why was I spinning? I could feel my back was on the ice so there was no way I could be spinning. Oh God, was I really dying?

"Medic. We need a medic." I lifted my hand to rub my tightening chest but the man stopped me. "Hanyu-San. Don't move, OK. Hold on."

The world tilted upright suddenly and I slipped on the ice but moving helped the tight feeling in my chest disappear and I could breathe again. I sucked in hungry gulps and leaned on the medic beside me who was dabbing at my chin. When his gloved hands came away they were red with blood. Was I bleeding?

"Are you OK to walk on your own?" One of them asked me and I made a noise that I hoped sounded like a yes. I just needed a second.

"Let's get you off the ice."

"Can you skate?" My coach asked roughly and I picked at the bandage the medic had wrapped around my head. From the tone of his voice I knew it wasn't really a question.

"I can skate." I said and all the heads in the room spun around to look at me in shock.

"What?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Takahashi Sensei. I can skate." I said looking directly at him and making my voice as firm as I could right now. He returned my stare for a long time then nodded once.

"If he says he can skate, he can skate." He muttered and I got up quickly. It made me dizzy but I swallowed it down.

"Hanyu-San..."

"I'm fine." Takahashi Sensei's words from earlier were still ringing in my head. He was right. I wasn't just here for myself. I was here to represent my country and to NOT skate... to not at least TRY to do my nation proud would be the worst dishonour I could give them. I just needed to focus.

"Yuzuru..." I heard as we left the dressing room.

"Javier?" I blinked and he stared at me open mouthed.

"I saw you fall...Are you OK?" He whispered as he moved closer to me and Takahashi Sensei coughed discreetly.

"I'm fine." I bowed my head at him stiffly and swayed a little.

"Whoa, hey...careful." Javier reached out to steady me but I pulled away from him quickly. I didn't need my coach to get even madder at me.

"Thank you. I have to go now." I said quietly and Javier's eyes widened.

"You're...you're still going to skate? Are you crazy?"

"Yuzuru. We don't have time for distractions." Takahashi Sensei grunted at me in Japanese and I swallowed my irritation. As annoying as he was, he was always right. I had lost focus for as second earlier when I had been thinking about Javier and look what happened.

"It was nice meeting you." I said softly to Javier and followed behind my coach as he led me back to the ice.

Focus, Yuzuru. Only Focus will get you gold.

Chapter Text

Javier:

I didn't want to get up. I didn't need a alarm to tell me the time. I'd been waking up at 6am every day for the last decade or so. It was ingrained in my bones now. I still didn't want to get up though.

10 minutes later I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. I took my time washing my hair and brushing my teeth, I stared at my reflection in my medicine cabinet's mirror for 3 whole minutes before I decided not to shave. I couldn't be bothered today. Breakfast was a well stuffed omelette and a fruit smoothie, then I made myself some coffee to put in my flask and finally made my way downstairs so I could head over to the training centre.

"Morning." I smiled at Tracy as I walked through the doors.

"Well don't you look like a ray of sunshine today." She said sarcastically and I gave her a curtsy.

"I try my best." I said and tossed my gym bag on the bench. "Is Coach back yet?"

"He got back yesterday." She said as she leaned against the rail while I put on my skates. "He said he needs to talk to you about something."

"Me?" I blinked and tugged on the laces a little tighter. "Did he say what about?"

"No."

"No?"

"He doesn't tell me everything, you know, Javi." I raised my eyebrow at her but she just smiled and shook her head. "Are we working on the Charlie Chaplin piece today?"

"I haven't even qualified yet." I grunted and stood up, shaking my legs to check the fit.

"You'll qualify."

"Maybe."

"Weren't you the one grumbling about winning a medal for Spain?" She asked softly and I pursed my lips as I headed for the ice. Of course I wanted a medal for Spain. I wanted to make my country proud. I wanted to make my father proud... all the money he didn't have to spare that he paid to keep me and my sister in skating classes and the stress of sending me off to a foreign country to train by myself...

"Twist the hips." Tracy commented when I skated past her.

"I am."

"If you do it right, your skates won't complain." She said loudly. I sighed in exasperation and tried it again. I still landed wrong and kicked up more ice than I should have.

"Oi, are you trying to destroy my rink?" I heard Coach Brian yell from the back of the club.

"Sorry, sorry." I mumbled and drifted over to him lazily.

"What's wrong with you lately, Javier?" He asked me quietly when I hopped off the ice and sat down on the bench across from him. "You've been like this for a while now."

"Nothing." I shrugged and took out my phone. A few missed calls from my sister and some messages from friends on the group chat looking forward to going out for my birthday in a couple of weeks.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" He said and I nodded slowly. I might have been alone in Toronto with my family on the other side of the world, but Coach Brian like another father to me. I knew I could talk to him about anything. I just didn't know how to explain what I was feeling yet. I had no idea why I was like this.

"I'm fine." I coughed lightly and tucked my phone back on my bag. "I'm just hungry." Coach Brian looked like he wanted to argue but he just sucked in a deep breath and pulled on his ear like he did when he was worried about something.

"Come on, I'll take you out for lunch. Then we can talk."

"Are you dying?" I asked when the waitress left our food on the table. Coach looked up at me quickly and let out a surprised laugh.

"What? No... I...I'm not dying. Why would you even ask me that?" He stammered.

"Tracy said you wanted to talk to me and you're taking me out for lunch." I pointed at my greasy bacon burger that was on my plate. "You're letting me mess with my diet so it must be pretty serious."

"I'm not dying." He repeated with a laugh and folded his hands over the table as he looked at me. "I do have something serious to ask you though."

"Ask." I said grumpily. What was with all the ominousness? Just as I was taking a big bite of my burger, he blurted.

"I have another skater...who wants to come to Toronto." He said softly. "He's looking for a new coach and ...it seems like he really wants to train with you. Is that OK with you?"

"Another skater?" I wiped my mouth with a not so clean looking paper napkin. "Who?"

"Yuzuru Hanyu..."

Yuzuru:

I tried not to fidget as I sat in the kitchen waiting for my mother to finish making me breakfast.

"I have to go back home tonight." She said as she laid a steaming bowl in front of me.

"I'll miss you." I said and her shoulders stiffened minutely. I still hadn't heard back from Brian Orser about my request for him to be my coach, but I was hopeful. So hopeful I hadn't booked a flight back to Japan with my mother. I was staying in the US for the rest of the season until I got an answer.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." She replied and I squeezed her hand when she gave me a pair of chopsticks. "You still haven't heard anything?" She asked and I could hear the disapproval in her voice.

"I'm sure I'll hear from him very soon, Okaasan." I muttered as I tried a dumpling in the soup. "Itadakimasu."

"You must call me as soon as you hear from him." Was all she said and I nodded, shoving a whole dumpling in my mouth to keep it full.

To be honest, I was dying inside. Much more so than I knew she was. Firing my coach this close to the beginning of a new season and so close to the Olympics...my mother had almost passed out when I'd told her.

"Why?" She'd breathed. I had given her a long list of reasons why I had felt like I needed a change, but it all boiled down to one. I was tired. Takahashi Sensei had been my coach since I was 14 years old and I knew I wouldn't be halfway near where I was today without him, but I was so ... tired.

A month ago I'd been in my room and seen a new video online about Javier. It had been a long time since that day when he'd invited me to skate with him, but it was hard to forget how he had smiled at me. He had smiled like that in the video, dancing with his coach on the ice and looking I had when I had been 4 years old and tried skating for the first time. Like it was still fun for him. When was the last time it had been fun for me? Around the time I had seen that smile last...

I could still remember the cold stare Takahashi Sensei had given me when I'd told him I no longer wanted him to be my coach anymore.

"You think you won the last Olympics by yourself?" He'd whispered tersely. "You won because you had me."

"And I'm very thankful, Takahashi Sensei, but I think I just need to - "

"Good luck to you, Yuzuru." He'd interrupted me. "You're going to need it."

It had taken almost an entire month for me to convince my mother that the coach I needed wasn't in Japan, but in Toronto. Weeks of showing her Brian Orser's training regimes and schedules and how much I could grow in a new environment being coached in the same building as someone the world considered my rival. Javier had beaten me at Worlds twice already. Eventually she'd seen how much Javier had improved and therefore how much I could improve too.

She'd agreed to arrange for a meeting with him and we'd flown him out here to New York yesterday. He'd looked a little flustered when security had escorted him up to my room and his eyes had widened when I'd asked him to be my coach.

"You want ME? To coach you?" He'd flushed and gaped at me. "Um...I'm not entirely sure I'm the best - "

"Mr Orser. My son is insistent. He is very adamant that he wants only you to be his coach."

"Why?" He'd looked me in the eye in a way that had made my stomach twist in knots and my breath airy. I knew how important my answer was.

"I want to train with the best. I want to train with Fernandez." I'd said softly and he had nodded slightly. He'd left saying that he needed to have a talk with Javier first about whether or not he'd be comfortable with another skater in the rink and I'd been a nervous wreck ever since.

"Eat." My mother prodded me out of my stupor and I gave her a small smile.

"I am." I muttered and took another bite of my dumpling and then sipping on the soup. I would definitely miss this while she was gone. No one cooked like my mother.

I was still heating up some leftovers that were in the fridge for a late supper after some mild training at the gym when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Yuzuru? Uh, this is Brian Orser." My heart skipped a beat and I broke out in a cold sweat.

"Hi, Yes. How are you?" I murmured and set my plate down carefully before I dropped it.

"I'm good, I'm good. Listen, I spoke with Javier today so I have answer for you." Finally. My hands shook while I held my breath.

"You do?"

"Yeah. How soon can you catch a flight to Toronto?"

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Papa wants to know when you're coming home."

"I don't know." I told my sister as I emptied my plate of leftovers.

"The season is almost over. You can come home for your birthday, no?"

"Maybe." I hummed and put my plate in the sink. I'd wash it later when I had time.

"Javi..."

Laura..." I copied her tone. "The season might be over but you know what training for the Olympics is like." I muttered. Having one day off, even if it was my birthday was almost impossible. Muscle memory was important for something as nerve-wrecking as a competition that big. I'd learnt that the hard way at Worlds. When your head wasn't in the game, sometimes it was easier just to trust your body to know what to do.

Come to think of it, it had to have been the same for Yuzuru at Worlds a few years ago. Despite having been knocked on the floor and practically bleeding all over the ice, he'd picked himself up and skated. He'd barely landed any of his jumps but his technical score had still been enough to inch his way to the top and he'd pushed me back to silver. At the time I thought he was crazy...

"I know what training is like." My sister replied. "I was there before you, kiddo." I chuckled as I flopped back on my couch, the TV was playing something boring so I turned it off.

"Do you regret it?" I asked her softly.

"Retiring?" She mused. "No, I don't regret it. My heart wasn't in it anymore and I really enjoy being a nurse right now." I could hear the smile in her voice. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I mumbled. I was still at my peak, physically speaking. But mentally...I just couldn't think of a reason why I kept putting myself through the pressure every year anymore. I loved skating; that much hadn't changed over the years at all. But competing was gnawing at my bones and I was just so tired all the time lately...

That was why I was surprised when Coach Brian had come to me to ask about Yuzuru coming to train in Toronto with us. A lot of skaters asked to come train at the rink with me and my Olympic medal winning coach and I'd always said no because I liked my own space but...Yuzuru was the last person I would have expected to ask to train with me. Coach Brian had said that Yuzuru wanted to train with the best. I didn't feel like the best right now. I felt...

"Try. Papa is worried about you."

"Tell Papa he's being an old man." I laughed without humour. "I'm fine. I'll talk to my coach, OK?"

"I'll talk to you later. Bye. Love you."

"Love you too."

"You're late." Coach Brian said as soon as I stepped inside the doors to the club.

"It's only 6:25." I said, slipping off my jacket and taking a sip of my coffee. Just as I lowered my flask I saw a familiar black-haired phantom flying across the ice and landing a clean triple axel. My heart stuttered in my chest and I couldn't swallow. He was here. He was really here...

"Practice starts at 6:30." He huffed. "Yuzuru has been here since 6."

"He has?" I blurted and dropped my flask next to my bag quickly. What the hell? When had he even flown in that he was up and skating at 6 already...

"Hurry up and put on your skates. Get warmed up." Coach muttered. He didn't have to tell me twice. I bolted for the rink and put on my skates faster than I'd probably ever had in my life.

"Hey." I called out and Yuzuru tipped his foot to pause on the ice.

"Oh...Hello." He dropped to give me a bow and I skated over to where he was standing.

"I didn't think you'd be here this early." If I'd known I would have been here earlier to greet him. "Welcome to Canada." I held my arms open but he just looked at me blankly until I dropped them.

"Thank you." He nodded solemnly. "I was in New York already so ... "

"Competition?" I asked, shifting on my blades.

"Meeting new sponsors." He said and coughed lightly. "Thank you for agreeing to let me train with you." He bit his bottom lip gently and twisted his foot, moving forward on the ice again. I joined him to warm up my legs.

"Why is that?" I asked as we moved around the edge.

"Why is what?"

"Why did you want to come here? Why do you want to train with me?" I asked.

"To ... Because you're the best." He said like it was obvious. I laughed out loud and reached out to fluff his hair.

"In what universe am I the best?"

Yuzuru:

I did a double take and peeked at Javier to see if he was serious. He didn't think he was the best. When we passed it, I pointed at the board I'd been staring at all morning during my warm up. Javier Fernandez - Worlds (Gold). It had stung like hell when he'd beat me by 3 points last year. Takahashi Sensei didn't speak to me for days afterwards.

"This universe."

"I forgot that was up there." He said and shook his head. He forgot? If Takahashi sensei had put up a plaque for every medal I'd won, I would stare at it every day... "I'm not as good as you." He grinned at me. "Mr Olympic Champion." I blushed deeply and shook out my hands, fiddling with my gloves.

"You should warm up. Practice is starting soon." I said quietly.

"Yuzuru, do you want to go through some music with Tracy and see which one you like for your Short Program?" Coach Brian asked me and I hopped off the ice. "She's just through there." He said and I slipped on my blade guards before taking off my skates. They were still fairly shiny and new and uncomfortable. Why had I left my old ones in Japan again?

"Hello?" I knocked on the door and went inside.

"Yuzuru." A nice looking blonde lady smiled at me and I bowed deeply.

"Sorry for disturbing you." I muttered and she waved her hands in the air as she got up.

"Nonsense. It's nice to finally meet you." She said and dragged me into a hug. I grunted softly and just stood there awkwardly. I felt even more embarrassed than I had when Javier had tried to give me a hug earlier. It wasn't weird to me, but growing up, hugs was never something I got often. Now I just strange whenever someone wanted to hug me. I never knew what to do with my arms.

"Are you settling in nicely? How's the ice?"

"It's good." I replied. "I like it." It was just the right thickness and size too.

"That's great. Did Brian send you back here for music?" I nodded quickly and she led me over to the laptop on her desk.

"Let's get started then."

"I'll be back in a few days." My mother said over the phone.

"You don't have to rush, Okaasan." I snuggled deeper into the hotel room's fluffy blankets and closed my eyes as my mother went on complaining.

"I didn't have any time to go shopping with Saya but - ."

"How is she?" I asked guiltily. I should really call my sister more often.

"She's fine, she's fine. Do you need me to bring anything when I come back? Are you missing any of your costumes?"

"My old skates. The ones with the silver blades." I replied through a yawn. "My new ones are still chaffing."

"OK. You sound tired so I'll let you go to sleep. Drink your vitamins."

"Hai hai. Oyasumi." I hung up before she remembered something else and groaned as I rolled around on the bed. I hadn't thought not training for a few weeks would hurt this much. My feet were killing me and my legs were cramping slightly.

It was all worth it though. One session with Javier and his Coach was all it had taken for me to see I'd made the right decision.

Toronto was where I was meant to be.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Good morning." I heard from behind me and I stilled reflexively. I wasn't quite used to how friendly everyone here was. Especially my new training partner.

"Good morning." I replied. Even that was new. I spoke English only when I needed to at competitions and television interviews. Speaking English all the time was making my brain hurt just a little.

"You trying to make me look bad?" Javier asked as he sat down on the bench next to me. "You always get here earlier than me. Coach Brian is going to kill me again." he muttered and I bit my bottom lip, a little worried. I was used to being up early for practice every day. I hadn't even considered that maybe if Javier was used to a different routine it would make me look like I was trying to be better than him.

"I'm sorry..."

"Hey...I was just joking." He paused when he looked at my face. "Really." I swallowed hard and tried to believe him. I gave him a small nod and focused on lacing up my skates. "Did you sleep well?" He asked conversationally and I froze again.

"Excuse me?"

"I always find it hard to sleep in a new bed." He chuckled and took a sip from a large flask in his hand. He saw me watching him and held out the flask to me. "Want some?"

"Some?"

"Coffee." I wrinkled my nose and went back to tying my laces.

"Coffee is bad for you." I said and he laughed out loud.

"A lot of things are bad for me, but coffee is not one of them." He kissed his flask and put it down on the floor next to his bag. I rotated my ankles and when I was satisfied that my skates were tight without being too tight, I took off the blade guards and waddled over onto the ice.

Once or twice I had read in a few articles online that said it looked like I was more comfortable on the ice than I was on land... It felt that way sometimes. I couldn't compare it to anything else, this feeling of floating across the ice. It was a feeling I'd chased for almost two decades now. I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. The cold filled my nose and I rolled my head side to side, stretching out my arms to get loose.

"So you don't drink coffee?" Javier said from beside me and I startled, tripping on my feet. "Sorry." He grinned at me when I shot him a look, but he didn't look sorry at all.

"No, I don't drink coffee."

"Tea?" He prodded as we got back to warming up on the ice.

"Black. No sugar."

"NO SUGAR??" He shouted and I almost laughed at the look on his face.

"No. Sugar is - "

"If you say bad for you, I'm going to have to punch you in the face. I swear." He said with a blank face.

"Hey. I thought I told you to behave." Coach Brian said loudly as he walked around the edge of the rink onto the ice.

"I am behaving!" Javier said, skating towards him. "Did you hear what he said? He said he doesn't drink his tea with sugar."

"A lot of people don't drink their tea with sugar."

"But WHY?" Javier asked with a distraught face. "Then you're just drinking boiled leaves! At least make it sweet." He muttered and Coach Brian rolled his eyes.

"Good morning, Yuzuru. Warmed up?" He asked and I nodded after I bowed.

"Yes, Sir." I replied and his nose wrinkled.

"God, don't call me Sir." He laughed.

"He'll get a big head." Javier said, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "A bigger head."

"Honestly. Javi...could you focus for 2 SECONDS."

"I was focused. But now all I can think about is all those poor people drinking boiled leaves..." He replied. I skated off to the side to keep him from seeing the smile on my face.

Javier:

Practice was a drag.

"Work through it, Javi." Tracy called out and I ignored her. I WAS working through it. My body was just ...tired. I sighed deeply and glanced at Yuzuru who was doing donut spins in the corner and my throat burned with jealousy for a second. He made it look so easy. So effortless. I knew just how much energy it took to do that and right now it seemed like just making myself move was hard enough.

"Javi..."

"I know." I grunted. "I know."

As soon as I got home, I was in the shower and then when I was smelling respectable again, I threw myself on my couch and switched on the TV. Nothing interesting was on so I pulled up a game on my Play Station but nothing seemed to hold my attention for long. I pursed my lips as I stared at my phone on the table.

JV: How can you drink tea with no sugar?

YZ: How did you get this number?

After practice, a lot of kicking and scratching had ensued, but finally Coach Brian had given it to me with the explicit instructions not to abuse it. Like that was ever going to happen.

JV: I guessed it.

YZ: Lying is bad.

JV: I feel like your English teacher only taught you that everything is bad.

JV: Right?

JV: You didn't answer my question.

YZ: I'm busy. I have class.

God, after practice? I was wiped already.

JV: You enrolled in a school already?

YZ: Ballet class.

Somehow that was even worse. Ballet classes and teachers could be brutal... I didn't envy him at all right now.

JV: Where?

A full minute went by.

JV: Hello?

Another minute.

JV: Yuzu?

After 10 minutes there was still no answer, so I dropped my phone on the table with a huff and walked over the the kettle. It took me a while, but I found some tea leaves from the last time my sister had come to visit and when the water was done boiling, I made a cup of tea. Without sugar.

As soon as I took a sip, I spat it back out and gagged noisily.

"Oh my God." I gasped and stared at the cup with disgust. "What the hell?" How could Yuzuru even... I tossed the tea out in the sink and rinsed out my tongue with a glass of lemon water. Never. Never again was I going to let him drink that shit.

"Here." I handed him my extra flask when I got to practice the next morning.

"What is this?" He asked, taking the lid off carefully and peering inside.

"You said you don't drink coffee and there was no way I was going to make that crap you call tea for you." That was the most vile thing I'd put in my mouth in a long long time. Just thinking about it made my stomach cramp uncomfortably. "So I made you some hot chocolate." He blinked at me blankly and I took a sip from my own Nectar of the Gods filled flask.

"You made me ...hot chocolate?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"...Why?" He looked down at the flask in his hand again.

"What do you mean, why?" I scoffed. "Because I wanted to." I took one last sip of coffee and slammed my flask down, pulling off my ski-jacket. "Come on. We need to warm up before coach shouts at us again."

"Shouts at you again..." Yuzuru replied so softly I might have been hearing things.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

Hot chocolate? I watched Javier as he skated away from me and looked down at the flask warming my hands. I really didn't drink or eat anything that wasn't on my list of dietary requirements and Coach Brian had given me his own list yesterday that pretty much matched the one my mother made for me. I knew for a fact hot chocolate was on the 'BAD' list...

But Javier had taken time out of his morning to make me something and that in itself...a token of acceptance from someone I'd seen as a rival for so long was making my resolve weaken. It was just one day. One day wouldn't make that much of a difference, right?

I took a sip and nearly spat it out on the floor. I coughed as politely as I could and covered my mouth while I tried to choke down the hot sweet liquid. So sweet... what on earth had he put in here, and entire beehive? Oh my God...

"Good, right?" He asked as he whizzed past me. I pinched my face into something appropriate and gave him a thumbs up. There was no way I could open my mouth right now.

"I'll see you tonight." My mother was saying on the phone. "My flight lands at 8 so don't have dinner without me." I was so tired today that all I wanted to do when I got home was sleep. Honestly, as much as I'd prayed for this move, it was taking a lot out of me at the moment. My body was having trouble catching up right now. I felt like I needed a second to relax and breathe but...

"Of course." I muttered. "Do you need me to send a car?"

"How old do you think I am?" She grunted in reply. "I can take ...what do you call those ...things...those things. You know what I'm talking about."

"An Uber?"

"That thing." She said firmly and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling.

"If you're sure." She humphed and hung up after a quick goodbye. I picked up my gym bag and I was shoving my towel back in when I noticed something was wrong. Where was...

I looked around my bag on the bench but clearly it wasn't there or I would have seen it already. I peeked under the bench and around the back...nothing. Shit. Don't panic, I told myself. Don't -

"Are you looking for this?" I heard from the doorway and I looked up to see Coach Brian standing there with my precious Winnie the Pooh doll in his hands. I could feel the blush creeping up my neck in a hot flash. As much as I didn't want to be embarrassed, there was still something mildly humiliating about my heavy dependence on my good luck charm.

"Thank you." I said when I shuffled over to him and he handed me my bear. I couldn't even look at him. Takahashi Sensei had barely tolerated my need to have Winnie with me every time I skated. He'd found it childish and unnecessary; but he let it slide when the last few times he'd banned me from having him with me, my scores had been horrendous. I had just turned away from Coach Brian when he said,

"So, you like Winnie the Pooh, huh?" My breath shook when I sucked it in.

"Yes." I admitted, facing him again. "It's...like my..."

"Good luck charm?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and I nodded. I'd rather he know how much it meant to me now than to have to fight my way into keeping it with me by the time I needed to skate in a competition.

"It's important." I said with as much meaning as I could. He nodded once and looked down at the doll in my hands again.

"I get it. I'm a little superstitious myself. You know, in a way, Winnie the Pooh is Canadian, too." He said, surprising me.

"Really?"

"Mmm." He smiled at me. "The creator was based in Winnipeg. Which is where the Winnie comes from."

"I ...didn't know that." I said softly. When he left a little later, the heaviness in my heart disappeared too.

Javier:

I dropped the weights on the soft mat as gently as I could with my flagging strength and flopped down next to them gracelessly. Damn. Instead of getting stronger it felt like I was getting weaker. It was the strangest feeling and I was starting to hate it.

I made myself get up off the floor and headed to the showers. Once the water was nice and steamy, I stood under the spray and let the hot water dissolve all the tension in my back. If there was time before our next competition I might ask Coach Brian about bringing in a physiotherapist again to do something about the knots in my neck.

I took my time getting dressed because I could and I was feeling lazy, and just when I was done wiping my hair so I could put my shirt on, my phone rang. It took me a while to find it and I chuckled when I answered.

"Hello Mama."

"Javier." She grunted roughly. "Why don't you answer your phone?"

"I just answered it now." I said and she sniffed.

"Laura said she spoke to you the other day. About your birthday."

"Mmm..."

"We haven't seen you in so long..."

"I know."

"Your Papa is - "

"I'm really busy with training, Mama. You know how hard it is to leave." Skipping even a couple of days this close to the beginning of the next season would be crazy. I did miss everyone back in Madrid though...

"I know, but ... " There was coughing in the background and my mother sighed. "I have to go, Mijo. Behave, OK?"

"Always, Mama. I love you."

"I love you too." There was a click as she hung up and I leaned my head against the tiled wall. I hadn't been wallowing in guilt for long when a small squeak of sneakers on tiles made me look up.

"Sorry." Yuzuru said as he came further inside. I've noticed that Yuzuru said sorry a lot and sometimes there wasn't even a particular need for it. What had he done that he needed to apologize for?

"It's OK." I said, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my neck. "I was just leaving."

"Oh." His mouth settled into a pink shaped oval and for some reason it was adorable on his face. Yuzuru wasn't quite someone I would have considered cute before, but then again most of the times we'd met had been under the stress of the competition and his game face had been set. Except that one time at Worlds...

He was swinging his bag onto his back when the words flew out of my mouth like vomit.

"Do you want to go out tonight?"

"Excuse me?" He blinked at me. Jesus, he had long eyelashes too.

"I mean..." I stammered as I moved closer to him. "I'm going down to the bar tonight...with some friends. It's...just a thing. But you can come with? If you want?" I finished lamely and he stared at me without expression for a few moments.

"I can't." He said and I deflated slightly.

"You can't?" Maybe he was just weirded out by the date-like invitation from a rival and didn't feel like saying no outright...

"My mother. She's flying in from Japan tonight. I can't." He replied and I was a little relieved.

"Oh...your mother. Oh, yeah. Of course. I get it."

"I'm sorry." I waved away his words and grabbed my own gym bag.

"No, it's cool. Some other time, right?"

"Some other time..." He repeated and I got out of there quickly.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I held the door open for my mother and she shuffled inside the practice rink slowly, pulling her handbag higher on her shoulder.

"You should have brought a coat, Okaasan." I said quietly to her and she tsked in annoyance.

"I can handle a little cold." She said stiffly and sat down on the bench where I laid down my gym bag.

"You always say that." I said to her and she pursed her lips.

"I didn't raise you to look after me. I can take care of myself." She mumbled and I nodded slowly as I sat down so I could put on my skates. As soon as I had them on, I felt much better. There was something about putting on a pair Yoshida-San's shoes that made me feel more relaxed. More like myself. I had been wearing skates custom made by him since I was 18 years old. I don't know why I had left them in Japan in the first place. My new skates were great. They could handle higher, faster and more difficult jumps, but they just didn't feel like home.

"What's taking you so long?" My mother complained while I was wiggling my toes to check the fit. "I came here to watch you skate, not mess around." I snorted softly and took off the guards, hopping over to the ice.

"I told you you'd get cold."

"I'm not cold." She huffed and I did a few warm up laps around the ice. So much better, I sighed to myself and relaxed into the movement. It was only after I swung back in my mother's direction that I realized it was rather quiet in here... Javier wasn't always the most punctual person but he should be here by now. Was he sick?

"Yuzuru. Good morning." Coach Brian said when he stepped on the ice. "Mrs Hanyu." He gave my mother a small bow which made her preen slightly. I almost rolled my eyes at how ridiculous my mother was when the door to the rink slammed open and Javier walked ...no, he wasn't walking. He was dragging his feet almost like he was a zombie. He LOOKED like a zombie...

"You're late." Coach Brian said through gritted teeth but Javier ignored him. "Javi..."

"I overslept." He mumbled only just loud enough for us to hear as he went to sit down next to my mother. He peered at her for a second. "Hello."

"JAVI!" Coach Brian shouted and skated off the ice, grabbing Javier when he reached him and dragging him to a dark corner. I reached my mother again just as we could hear them starting to argue and she raised her eyebrow at me.

"THIS is who you wanted to train with?" She asked me softly in Japanese and I couldn't help the hot blush that filled my cheeks.

"Okaasan." I murmured and did some stretching while I waited.

"He's very rude."

"Okaasan." I hissed even though if they heard her, they wouldn't understand her.

"So undisciplined." She mumbled to herself. "Late, and yet he still thinks he has the right to argue. Does he think this is a joke?" She looked over at me with worried eyes. "Yuzuru. Do you really think you made the right choice coming here? You've worked too hard to get where you are today."

"Okaasan." I said drolly. "He beat me in the last two World series."

"You are the Olympic Champion."

"Sochi was luck." I said firmly. That I'd qualified at all for the Olympics had surprised me. Winning had been the furthest thing from my mind; though Takahashi Sensei had told the media that it had been my goal since I'd started skating... I shouldn't have won at Sochi. Javier had had a better run and the better programme; but because the remnants of his brief trouble at the last Worlds had followed him to the Olympics, he'd been unfocused and repeated a jump that lost him too many valuable points. My win at Sochi was all luck. "He is the best. You want me to train with the best, right?" I said and her lips pinched tightly.

"YOU are the best."

Javier:

"Javi, I don't know how many times I need to tell you that EVERY PRACTICE is important."

"I know Coach." I say trying to hold back a sigh. "It's just that I went out last night and I lost track of time." Hanging out with Cole and Matthew and the rest of the hockey team was always a mess and I should have known, but I had just needed a fucking break for a second.

"I don't want to sound like an asshole, but you're starting to make me one." He said seriously and this time I did sigh.

"I'm sorry." I tried, but Coach Brian was never one for weak excuses. He glared at me hotly for a full minute before he said,

"Miss Ekaterina has a class this afternoon."

"No." I gasped and unconsciously took a step back.

"You will go."

"COACH." I whined and he ignored me.

"You will go and you will not set foot in this rink again until she tells me otherwise, do you understand?" His eyes were blazing so I knew he was serious.

"But..." I huffed and he started walking away from me.

"Go warm up. I don't need you stiff when you get back."

"If I get back." I grumbled. Mistress Ekaterina's ballet classes were brutal. I really should have set my alarm on repeat. Damn it. I kicked at nothing and slunk all the way back to the bench so I could put on my skates. Yuzuru was on the ice again, gliding along with Coach as he led him through some side steps to loosen the hips. The woman who had been sitting here when I'd arrived was gone though.

"Morning." I smiled at Yuzuru when I eventually made it on the ice.

"Good morning." He nodded at me and then looked down at his feet again as he did some crossovers.

"I'm sorry I was late." I said and he paused.

"Sorry? Why are you...apologizing to me?"

"I was going to bring you hot chocolate again but I forgot." I'd forgotten my own coffee too and I reminded myself to grab a cup or Miss Ekaterina's lass was REALLY going to kill me.

"Oh." He said, his lips forming a pretty little circle. "You don't have to bring me hot chocolate." He said softly and I snorted.

"I'm not letting you drink that horrible sugarless tea crap again." I muttered and pointed with my thumb back at the bench. "By the way, who was that before?"

"My mother?" He blinks at me and shrugs. "Sometimes she likes to come and watch me skate, but she had to leave."

"You don't look anything like her." I said and he frowned at me. "I mean...you must look like your father, I suppose."

"Most people say that." He agreed and did a few spins on the ice. I thought back to the brief moment I had looked at her.

"I don't think she likes me. Your mom." He surprised me by smiling and moving closer to me.

"She doesn't." He said simply.

"What?" I shot him a look of disbelief and clutched at my chest. "Why?"

"You beat me in the last two competitions." He shrugged. When he didn't continue, I hooked my toe pick in the ice to stop.

"Wait, that's it?!" I blinked at him and his eyes sparkled.

"You are rude. Undisciplined. Your music is not tasteful. You have no grace and you are too loud." He stopped in front of me and put his hands on his hips. They weren't words I hadn't heard before but it stung to hear words like that coming from him. "You are all these things, and YET ...you still beat me. It's driving her crazy." I didn't even know what to say to him.

"I'm...sorry?" He smiled again and rubbed at his nose that was starting to go a little red.

"You don't need to apologize." He shifted on his feet and went back to skating. I glanced back at the bench.

"Wait, she really said I was loud?" I yelled and Yuzuru's soft tinkling laugh filled the air.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I let out a long moan as I sank into my bed later that morning, too tired to even cover myself with a blanket. It was hot anyway. I spent too much time on the ice for outside to feel anything BUT hot. My skin was prickled with sweat even after I'd showered back at the training rink.

Thinking about the showers at the rink made me bury my face deeper in my pillow when I thought about the last time I had seen Javier there. Draped in a towel and water droplets still dripping from his skin like little rivers, following the dips and valleys of his body. I had almost swallowed my tongue seeing it up close like that.

His skin was still bronze despite how many hours of the day he spent inside and of course as a professional athlete, there was not a single ounce of fat on him at all. He was all muscle. The smell radiating from his had been intoxicating enough for me to forget how to speak for a minute. He smelled...

I groaned again and rubbed my heating cheeks on my pillow. Forget it, Yuzuru. Don't think about it. You can't think about it at all.

I was up again a few hours later, after tossing and turning and dreaming about sun kissed skin.

"Are you feeling alright?" My mother put her hand on my forehead but I ducked away from it. "Why are your cheeks pink? You look sick."

"I'm just hot." I smiled at her and she cupped my cheek gently.

"Are you sure? I can make you some tea if - "

"I'm sure, Okaasan. Thank you." I ate my lunch slowly and then when we were ready, I took a taxi to the ballet studio. To be honest, I really didn't HAVE to go to class per se, but there was a small comfort in having the structure of a class to keep me in line. If I trusted myself to maintain my form, I would be a slouching mess in a matter of weeks.

"Yuzuru." Mistress Ekaterina greeted me with a smile when I opened the door to the studio.

"Ekaterina Sensei." I bowed at her slightly and she reached out with her dainty fingers, wrapping them around my elbow. Her nails were digging into my skin but I kept quiet.

"Come. We have important work to do today."

"The breathing exercises?" I asked and she nodded once, her perfectly pulled tight blonde hair not moving at all.

"You must have strong core." She said "And strong lungs. I will teach you." I let her lead me deeper into the studio and when she opened the door, I blinked in surprise when I saw a dozen or so excited looking children sitting around in the middle of the floor.

"Hello." I said softly and waved stiffly at them. Little eyes went wide and some mouths fell open, but none of them said anything besides returning my hello.

"I am sorry. When you join, I teach class. But now I am busy so I must find a new instructor for them." Mistress Ekaterina explained. "I have temporary teacher coming soon, but we will warm up while we wait. OK?"

"Of course." I said quietly and set down my gym bag in the corner of the room. The children all stood up when Mistress Ekaterina clapped her hands and lined up by the ballet barres set up for them on one side of the room. When I had made sure that my phone was on silent, (Javier had texted me before while I was in class and Mistress Ekaterina had not been happy.) I went over to the adult barre close to the mirror that lined the wall.

Javier:

I cringed when I got to the studio and realized I was just a little late. Damn it. Mistress Ekaterina was going to kill me.

"Tuck that back foot. Yes, now straight. Let your arms fall GENTLY. You are creating a tornado with those wings." I smirked. It had been a while, but clearly nothing had changed.

"Sorry, sorry. I know I'm late." I muttered when I tumbled in the door and skidded to a stop when I looked up and saw a familiar pair of brown eyes staring at me in the mirror across the room. Huh... "Yuzuru?" His leg was high up on the barre and I couldn't help but appreciate how graceful it looked when he lifted it off and his foot floated to the ground. THIS was his ballet class?

"Javi, my darling boy." I tore my eyes away from Yuzuru just as Mistress Ekaterina reached me and planted a kiss on my cheek. "How have you been?"

"I'm..." I shook my head slightly to focus and gave her a smile. "I've been good."

"Hardly. If you are here again." I grimaced and tried to look apologetic.

"I tried to be good."

"Mmm." she hummed and patted my cheek just a little harder than necessary.

"Come. You must teach class." She said and started to pull me towards the door. I glanced back at Yuzuru who was back on the barre again, stretching those long legs of his. His eyes met mine in the mirror again, but he looked away quickly.

"Wait...teach? I thought I was taking classes...?" I stammered when we got to the next room and she raised her eyebrow at me.

"Any problems you have, you are too old to fix now." She said sagely. "So you will teach." She opened the door to the extra practice room and I froze when little heads all swiveled like demons to face the door. I just managed to not take a step back outside. Just. Oh God...

"Class. Mr Fernandez will be teaching you today. Say hello."

"Hello Mr Fernandez!" They all shouted in unison and I rubbed at the stubble on my chin. I didn't feel like a Mr Fernandez.

"Mistress Ekaterina..."

"Have fun." She said shortly and spun on her heel, drifting out the door and leaving me alone with the demon children. I stared at them in silence and they all blinked back at me, just as quiet. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

It took me a while to figure out what level the children were on, but once I knew where to start, it was actually pretty easy to talk to them and help them get through the steps for a recital they were preparing for in a few weeks.

"Do you need help, Lacey?" I asked and she shook her head even though her brow was furrowed with concentration. I watched her as she struggled to remember the order of the steps for the Pretty Ballerina piece, but after a few times she started to grasp it.

"Nice." I held my hand up for a fist bump and she giggled. I moved on to Blair who was a natural and would be a beautiful dancer when she finally knew how to control her limbs better.

"Try not to kick too hard. It's making you unbalanced." I told her and she nodded seriously. I ruffled her hair and I was just about to sit down with Tammy when I noticed Phillipe at the back of the room, chewing on his thumb as he watched the rest of the class.

"Hey." I said when I got close to him. "What's up, little man." He looked up at me with wide blue eyes and shrugged. "Is something wrong? Do you not remember your steps for the dance?" I asked and sat down next to him. He pursed his lips and his curls bounced when he shook his head.

"I remember them." I peered at him as I waited for him to tell me what was wrong. "I don't want to dance."

"You...don't?" His sigh made him sound older.

"I don't want to come to ballet class any more." He said, sounding morose.

"You don't want to?" I asked gently. "Can I ask why?" He humpfed and shrugged his shoulders again and started biting his thumb again.

"All the boys at school tease me." He muttered and my heart squeezed painfully in my chest.

"They do? That's not very nice of them."

"They said ballet is for sissies." He whispered and I knew he probably didn't even know what that word meant. He didn't need to though. It was clear it was bad. "I was going to ask my mom to sign up for hip hop classes..." He said but he looked at the ballet barre next to us longingly.

"Can I tell you a secret, Phillipe?" He nodded his head at me warily and I wrapped my arms around my knees as I spoke. "When I was about your age, all the boys in my class used to make fun of me too, because I was taking ice skating classes." He looked at me like he didn't believe me but I wiggled my eyebrows at him. It had been a confusing and anxious time for me. Battling with my desire to skate and the desire to just be a kid with friends. It had gotten so bad at one stage that I'd been just like Phillipe, considering giving up figure skating and joining a hockey team just to make all of it stop...

"What did you do?"

"My father told me that they were all just jealous of me because I spent all day with all the pretty girls." I said and he cracked a small smile. "But I asked myself if I really really really loved skating more than anything in the world and if I would be happy doing anything else."

"So do you still skate?" He asked me and I smiled at him.

"Every day. Want to see?" I asked him as I pulled out my phone. I opened up a video from training that Coach Brian had sent me to go home and watch so I could analyze my jumps and his eyes lit up as we both sat there watching.

"Wow. You're so good." He whispered and I couldn't help beaming with pride.

"Thank you."

"Is that your partner?" He asked, pointing at Yuzuru doing a camel spin on the screen.

"Mmm. I just started training with him a week ago." I replied and the video ended.

"How does he jump so high?" He asked me and I laughed out loud.

"I don't know." I bumped my knuckles on his cheek lightly. "But you can ask him yourself if you want. After class."

"Really?" His eyes almost bugged out of his head.

I waited while Phillipe ran over to his mother to ask if she minded waiting for a bit so that we could speak to Yuzuru quickly and he ran like the hounds of hell were behind him as soon as she nodded her head.

"Steady there, Kiddo." I chuckled and shot his mom a thumbs up to say thanks. I led him over to the first room I'd gone to when I'd arrived and the both of us snuck in quietly.

"Extend." Mistress Ekaterina said drolly. "If you do not twist your hips, you land wrong." Yuzuru let out a huff and jumped again, flying through the air and rotating so quickly it looked like it was impossible for him to stick the landing, but I should have known better. Yuzuru had an insane amount of control on his spins on the ice. On land it must be easier. "Better."

Yuzuru rotated his arms back and forth and when he turned around he saw Phillipe and I standing by the door, probably with our mouths hanging open.

"Phillipe?" Mistress Ekaterina said when she noticed us too.

"Sorry for interrupting, but there was someone who wanted to meet you." I said to Yuzuru and he blinked rapidly before bowing slightly.

"Hello." Phillipe shuffled forward hesitantly but when Yuzuru didn't say anything he skipped closer.

"Mr Hanyu. I just wanted to say that you skate really good." He breathed. "And Mr Fernandez too. It looks cool."

"Thank you." Yuzuru said softly and his face transformed into a rare smile. "He is pretty cool, right?" He looked at me and I stuck out my tongue at him. I didn't hear the rest of their conversation, but it dissolved into giggles very quickly and then they were off towards the mirror where Yuzuru watched as Phillipe danced a little.

"You are good teacher." Mistress Ekaterina said simply when she came to stand by me. I snorted and ran a hand through my curls.

"I don't know if what I did today was TEACHING." I admitted and shifted on my feet.

"Phillipe. He has been quiet for long time in class." She said to me and waved her hand in his direction. "One class with you and he is smiling again." I kept quiet while Phillipe laughed and clapped when Yuzuru did another spin. If he kept going he'd have enough for 5 rotations soon and that was scary. Phillipe tried to copy him and fell out of step on the second rotation. It wasn't quite as easy when you didn't have a foot on the ground.

"I will let Mr Orser know you have done well today." She said quietly.

"Eh." I tsked softly. "It wasn't so bad."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I waved goodbye to Phillipe as he got into the car with his mother and he stuck his face up against the window as soon as the door was closed. He signaled for me not to forget and I gave him a single nod.

"Thank you." I turned around to find Javier leaning against the wall near the door, arms crossed over his chest.

"Thank you?" I asked and he smiled at me.

"He was having a rough day. You made him smile. So thank you." I coughed lightly but it didn't do anything to stop the warming in my cheeks.

"Oh. I ...I like children." I replied and he grinned.

"I can see that." He said and I avoided his gaze, taking out my phone so I could call my mother. Her phone rang for a while before it clicked over to voicemail. Damn it. I sucked in a breathe and tried again. Still voicemail. "Everything OK?"

"It's fine." I sighed. "I just..." I jumped a little when thunder rumbled suddenly in the sky and I saw a brief flash of lightning in the distance. "I need to get back to the hotel."

"Were you calling a taxi?" I shook my head.

"My mother. But she isn't answering." I pursed my lips. "She probably put it on silent and forgot again."

"Like my Dad then." Javier chuckled and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Where are you staying? I can drive you home if you...want." He murmured and I worried my bottom lip. I really didn't have money to call a taxi anyway and I had no idea when my mother would answer her phone...

"We're staying at Doubletree." I said softly and he pulled a set of car keys out of his pocket.

"Fancy." He said wriggling his eyebrows and hopping down the steps. "Come on. It's about to pour out here."

"So you stay with your mom?" He asked when it started to drizzle and he flipped on the windscreen wipers.

"Yes." I answered quietly.

"That's nice. Do you have any other family?" He looked at me before looking at the road again. Did he really not know? I felt like I knew everything about all the other figure skaters currently competing around the world right now. Takahashi Sensei had said I was important...

"My father and sister are in Japan." I said.

"You have a sister? Me too." He sounded excited for some reason and I couldn't keep back a smile.

"I know." I sniffed. "Laura Fernandez. Competed in Ladies' singles and Ice dancing. Retired." He stopped at a red light and gave me a look that made me want to blush again.

"Did you Google me?" He asked.

"No." I mumbled and picked at my nails. I hadn't. I'd searched on Wikipedia.

While we were waiting for the light to turn green, we were both quiet and my stomach chose that exact moment to remind me I was hungry. Loudly.

"What the hell was that?" I put my arms around my waist and looked out the window at the rain. "Was that your stomach?"

"No." I lied and squeezed harder when it made a noise again.

"Are you hungry?"

"I can eat when I get to the hotel." I said and Javier snorted softly. A few minutes later he was stopping outside what looked like a little restaurant at the side of the road.

"I ..." I stammered when he ordered me out of the car.

"Quickly, I'm getting wet here." He complained and it was enough to make me move. I hurried out of the car and we raced for the covering outside the entrance. I gasped when he shook out his wet hair and cold droplets hit me in the face. He froze when he saw my face and started spluttering as he laughed.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry." He lifted his hand to brush water off my cheek and I closed my eye when his thumb grazed my eyelashes. "Sorry."

"It's OK." I sighed and he pushed me inside the door gently.

"Hola." He said to a women waiting at the front counter. "Quisiera una mesa para dos por favor." I don't know why it was strange to hear him speak Spanish. I had only ever heard him speaking in English. "This way." He said leading me in the direction the woman was walking. I sat down at the table and nodded my thanks when she handed me a small menu.

"This really is... unnecessary." I muttered as I opened the menu. "I could have just eaten at the hotel."

"You drink boiled leaves." He said flatly. "I don't even want to know what you call food." He flipped open his own menu and hummed to himself. I bit my bottom lip as I watched his face carefully. A strand of his dark wet hair had fallen in front of his face, but he didn't move it and my fingers itched to push it back in place. I wasn't quite like him though. I didn't have it in me to touch him as casually as he had touched me a few moments ago. I froze when he looked up abruptly and blinked his light brown eyes at me.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked and my eyes dropped down to the menu in front of me. The menu entirely in Spanish...

"Um..." I huffed nervously and tapped the page. "I ...don't know what anything is."

"Oh shi...yeah." He hissed and put up his hand. When a waiter came by he leaned forward. "¿Tienen el menú en Inglés?" The waiter shook his head and Javier hissed softly. "Gracias." He muttered and looked at me with a frown. "I could tell you what everything is so you - "

"You can order for me." I interrupted him.

"Really?"

Javier:

"I ...trust you." He said somewhat hesitantly. He looked so small right now, like the little kids I'd been teaching Pliés and Pirouettes to. His eyes were wide and glassy and shit, he really did look like he trusted me not to feed him nonsense.

"Why?" I blurted out and he did some sort of half shrug.

"You ...have been very nice to me. Even though I must be interrupting your training routine joining near the end of the season. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I said. "It's actually nice training with someone else for once." He took a deep breath and smiled at me shyly.

"And Phillipe told me about what you told him earlier." He replied. "About everyone making fun of him for taking ballet classes. That was very nice of you."

"That was nothing." I chuckled to keep my throat from closing up. "Kids can be mean when they want to."

"I know." He said with a look that turned distant and it looked like he knew far too well what I was talking about.

"I'll just order, OK?" I said to distract him. I ordered some Pozole because he looked cold, a family serving of some good soft tacos and...

"Chocolate caliente." I added last minute.

Yuzuru's face lit up when he tried the Pozole so I relaxed a little. It was actually nice just sitting and talking. Ever since he had gotten to Toronto, we hadn't really had much time to talk to each other because training required focus and I guess I'd been holding back a little to let him get used to things...

"These are really good." Yuzuru said with his cheeks full.

"Super good." You couldn't beat hearty food on a cold day.

"Gyoza are still my favourite though." He said with a twinkle in his eye and I smirked at him.

"What are those?"

"Dumplings." He said simply. He looked like a little dumpling right now with his cheeks stuffed like that. The waiter came back to our table and he set down the glass in front of me.

"Gracias." I said and slid it over to Yuzuru across the table.

"What is this?"

"Hot chocolate." I said and he held a hand up to his mouth to laugh. Why was that so cute?

"You got me hot chocolate again?"

"It's cold and you like it, right?" He peeked at me from behind his dark hair for a few long seconds before he nodded.

"I do. Thank you."

"Stick with me, Dumpling. You'll never drink that tea nonsense again." I said and his cheeks went a pretty pink.

"Dumpling?" He stammered.

"What do you want me to call you?"

"My name." He giggled.

"You can call me Javi." I said and he let out a soft sigh.

"You can call me Yuzu." He said slowly.

"I like Dumpling better." His mouth twisted as he tried not to laugh.

"Thank you for the ride." He said when we got to the Doubletree hotel.

"No problem." I said and a valet opened the door for him, a large umbrella open in his hand and ready to keep Yuzu dry as soon as he stepped out. Really fancy. "If you ever need anything, call me, OK?" It was clear he was still a little dependant on his mother and I was worried about what might have happened if I hadn't gone to his ballet class this afternoon.

"I will." He smiled at me and gripped his gym bag tightly in his hands. "Thank you again. Javi." He said my name carefully like he was nervous about using it and I didn't understand why hearing him say it like that made my stomach flutter.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Yuzu." I said and he bowed once he was out the car. The valet closed the door and I watched him until he walked into the hotel before I drove away.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Okaasan?" I called out when I keyed in the code for our room.

"Yuzuru?" Her head popped around the corner and her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh my goodness, did I forget about you again?" I gave her a wry smile and she groaned in dismay. "My baby..."

"Okaasan." I said when I reached her, patting her cheeks gently. "I'm fine."

"How did you get back." She asked and for some reason my heart stuttered in my chest. I knew that she tolerated Javier...Javi... because he was a necessary evil for my training, but she could be very ...overprotective when it came to who I spent my free time with. Would she be angry that we'd had lunch together? Probably not, but I didn't want to create any more tension.

"I took a taxi." I lied and I had to swallow hard to keep from coughing.

"You had money with you?"

"Yes." I said breezily and swung my bag over on my shoulder. She reached out and grabbed my arms tightly.

"You look wet...is it raining?" She looked out the large window in the living room of the hotel suite and her mouth pinched. "Come, take some vitamins before you get sick." She tried to lead me towards the kitchen but I held my ground.

"Dakara, daijoubu date." I said with a chuckle and she let me go. "I need to go shower. I smell like sweat."

"I'll make you something warm to eat, OK? Do you want Gyoza soup?" She asked and I paused halfway to my room.

"Please?" I smiled at her and she visibly relaxed. I don't know how I was going to find space in my stomach for more food.

YZ: [You have sent an image]

YZ: This is Gyoza.

JV: Nice...why are they floating in water?

YZ: It's not water. It's soup.

JV: Lies.

YZ: Lying is bad.

I ignored the small stab of guilt I felt for lying to my mother earlier.

JV: Were you still hungry? Why are you eating again?

"Yuzuru." My mother banged her hand on the table. "No phones at the table."

"Gomen." I muttered and got one more dirty look from her as I replied to Javi and quickly turned off my phone.

"Who are you talking to?" She asked. I hummed as I shoved a dumpling in my mouth and chewed as slowly as possible.

"Shoma-kun." She looked like she didn't believe me for a second, but went back to her own bowl of dumplings.

"Is he ready for next season already?" My fellow competitor and countryman Shoma Uno had had a little bit of a setback at the beginning of this season with a minor injury, but when I'd last spoken to him, he'd been determined to be ready for the new skating season in July. This year was important. The Olympics were soon and everyone who dreamed of qualifying were chomping at the bit.

"Shoma is always ready." I mumbled and she nodded.

"You should be training with him." She said stiffly and I ignored her, shoveling another dumpling in my mouth.

I was in the living room, filling out forms for my school application when my phone started buzzing loudly. I took a peek at it and when I saw it was my publicist, I groaned.

I hated HATED dealing with the other side of skating professionally. Sponsors, endorsements, public events and the like, drove me up the wall sometimes. Not because I didn't it, but because I didn't have the energy for it most days and then people who would meet with me would tell the media I was snooty and stuck up when really I was just so tired...I never knew what to do with myself when the people I met immediately didn't like me. It was so awkward...what was it now?

I let it ring and told myself I'd get back to it later when he called again. Damn it. I dropped the pen on the table and answered the call.

"Hai, Hirose-San." I sighed into the phone.

"Hanyu-San. I'm getting calls from reporters asking me about why you were seen having dinner with your supposed rival all the way in Toronto, Canada." He said and my heart sank.

"I um..." I scratched my head. "Um..."

"I take it that now would be the appropriate time to inform the public that you have a new trainer?" I had begged them to hold off as long as they could because once the media found out, they could be like relentless dogs. It had been fine when I was training in Japan; getting anywhere near my training facility there hadn't been worth the trouble. Here, I wasn't so sure there was enough to keep them at bay to stop them from trying to sneak videos of my practice sessions. I didn't have much a choice though, did I? It had to happen eventually.

"You can tell them, yes." I muttered and bit my bottom lip. A tiny part of me wanted to hope it wouldn't be so bad, but the larger part of me told me to be realistic.

"YUZURU!" I heard my mother yell from her room and my heart kicked up again, galloping frantically. I rarely ever felt the need to swear, but I almost did when she stormed into the living room waving her phone in the air.

"What is this?"

I should have know that lying was a bad idea. It was the worst idea ever.

Javier:

I leaned into the warm hands sliding up my chest and pressed my lips against an equally warm neck, breathing in deep and basking in the smell of spring and flowers and -

I almost lost it when my alarm started ringing. Are you fucking... I picked up my phone and mimed smashing it against the wall before I swiped up angrily to turn it off. Damn it. I'd been having a good dream too. The best kind. My cock throbbed in my boxers as I remembered soft, warm skin... smooth legs spread out and Yuzuru biting his lip when ...

I sat up with a gasp. Yuzuru? I hadn't really been dreaming about Yuzu, had I? I snapped my eyes shut and conjured up those legs again; supple, beautiful, long legs that had solid thighs and led up to delicious looking rounded hips and curved into a patch of hair that was...my eyes popped open. Fuck. No. I shook my head back and forth but the image wouldn't leave my mind.

Stop it, Javi. You weren't dreaming about Yuzu. It's impossible. I'd never even seen him even NEARLY naked, even though there were times we showered at the same time back at the rink. My mind was just messing with me. After I'd come home yesterday I'd been thinking about how lunch with Yuzu had been much like a date and I hadn't gone on one in ages and when had been the last time I'd even gotten laid and ...hell. No. Besides, Yuzuru was a man. There was no way he would be soft and curvy like a woman. No way.

I got up and tried to forget my dream. I had to get to the rink early otherwise Coach Brian was going to chew out my ass again and as much fun as I'd had teaching the little ones, I had to get ready for my choreography lessons today.

I parked at the back like I always did, but as soon as I made my way around the front to the entrance of the rink, I was enveloped in a swarm of reporters.

"Mr Fernandez, can you comment on training with your rival, Yuzuru Hanyu?"

"Why did you two have lunch together yesterday?"

"Is there any tension on the ice?"

"Do you think training together is fair?"

"Can you - "

"Javi." I heard from beside me and I blinked at Coach Brian as the reporters turned their questions to him, but he kept his mouth shut tight and led me through the pack until we were safely inside the doors. The swarm was still buzzing outside, and so were my ears.

"What the hell was that?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't expect you to to watch the news." He said with a wry smile and patted me on the back as we walked to the rink. "Someone took pictures of you and Yuzu having dinner together yesterday so the news is out. 'The worlds biggest figure skating rivals are now training together'." He said like he was reading a headline. "The media is losing their minds."

"Why?" I stared at him open mouthed.

"They're trying to figure out how you aren't tearing each others heads off. Friendly rivals are as rare as blue moons apparently." I snorted and took a sip of my coffee just as we entered the rink and of course Yuzu was already here. His cheeks and his nose were pink and he was slipping on a pair of black gloves when I walked up to him. I held out his flask of hot chocolate and he looked up at me with big brown eyes. I would be lying if I said my heart didn't skip a beat. Just a little bit. He looked so cute right now and with my dream from this morning still lingering in the back of my mind, it was hard not to react.

"Thank you." He said and stood when he took it from me. "Did you make it through the reporters OK?" He asked me and I huffed.

"Yeah, they were a little much, but Coach Brian got me out in time." I pulled my gym bag off my shoulder and dropped it on the floor.

"I'm sorry." He winced and worried his lip.

"It's not your fault." I smiled at him, but he didn't look convinced.

"I'm still sorry." He fluttered his lashes in my direction and I couldn't catch my breath for a second. I must have looked like an idiot standing there with my mouth open, but I pulled myself together and nudged his arm.

"Drink up. Practice is starting soon."

"Focus, Javi." Coach Brian said next to me as he showed me the next part of the step sequence. He might have been retired for longer than I'd been alive, but he still moved like he lived on the ice. I copied what I remembered but I must have made a mistake because he sighed heavily.

"Like this." He showed me again. I did the same thing but his lips still pinched in disapproval.

"Are you even watching me? You need to focus." He complained.

"I am." I was not. It was taking everything in me to not stare at Yuzu as he worked across the ice with our assistant trainer, Coach Ghislain. I don't know how I hadn't noticed until now, but although Yuzuru was clearly...very much a man...he DID have a little bit of a curve where his waist pulled in and flared out to subtle hips that suited his petite frame nicely. He lifted his leg in the air and my eyes followed the line of it all the way down to a very cute looking ass. Fuck, I was seriously staring at his ass right now. What the hell was wrong with me? I started when I felt a slap on the back of my head.

"What...did you just hit me?" I gasped at Coach Brian.

"You weren't listening to me." He replied unapologetically.

"I...I can't believe you just hit me." I let out a crazed laugh and skated closer to him. He must have sensed danger because he leaned back and started skating away from me.

"Javi..."

"Just come here for a second, Coach. I want to try something."

"Javi!" Yuzuru stopped spinning when I flew past him trying to catch Coach Brian as he zoomed across the ice to get away from me. "Get away from me. JAVI!"

"YOU HIT ME!" I cried and tucked him under my arm when I caught up with him. He squirmed as he laughed.

"I should have hit you harder."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I was relieved. The second I'd seen all the reporters gathered around the training centre outside, my heart had jumped into my throat and stayed lodged there until I saw Javi laughing as he chased Coach Brian across the ice and grabbed him in a choke hold.

Mother hadn't been happy that I'd lied. Some of my friends back in Japan had been mad at me for not telling them I wasn't coming back. Takahashi Sensei had given a short blistering statement about how he was proud he had coached a FORMER Olympic champion; like this somehow was a prelude to my retirement.

That's why I'd been surprised when I'd come to practice this morning and Coach Brian had given me a hug and a pat on the back. He didn't seem put off at all by all the press at all and now that I could see Javi wasn't mad at me either, it was much easier to breathe.

"You good?" Coach Ghislain asked me gently and I gave him a nod.

"I'm great."

When I left Javi was still on the ice, face set in a semi grimace as he did jump after jump after jump. Coach Brian seemed to making up for his lost hours yesterday. I met my mother outside, which was thankfully deserted now and couldn't help but notice how her eyes kept drifting to the door like she was expecting Javi to be right behind me.

I kept quiet during the ride to ballet studio and ignored her heaving sighs that were part of her effort to get me to speak to her. I had nothing to say, really.

"Call me when you're done." She said softly when the car stopped and I hummed as I closed the door behind me. I jogged up the stairs without looking back and by the time I pushed open the door to the studio, I felt much better.

"Yuzuru-san!" I huffed when I saw a pink cheeked looking Phillipe waving frantically form the kiddies practice studio.

"Good afternoon." I smiled at him when I was close enough and he grinned back happily. "How are you today?" He waved away my question.

"Did you bring it?" He whispered and I wriggled my eyebrows as I dropped my bag and opened the zip. His eyes lit up when I pulled out one of my favourite Winnie the Pooh dolls. When I'd spent time with Phillipe yesterday he'd told me about how nervous he got sometimes.

"It's like... I know what I'm supposed to do, but when I try to do it, my whole body just ..." He mimed freezing with a panicked looking face.

"You get scared?"

"Yeah." He said quietly picking at his nails. "Sometimes I'm just worried that Mistress Ekaterina was lying and I actually suck. Like really bad. And I think about my mom watching me and then I start wondering if anyone from school came to the recital and are there watching me..." He said, his eyes getting wider with each word.

"That sounds like a lot of pressure." I'd answered with a wry smile. "Well, for one, I'm sure Mistress Ekaterina has never lied in her life, ever." I exaggerated the word and it earned me a giggle. "So I'm pretty sure you're a great dancer. And everyone gets nervous, you know. So it's OK if you do too."

"Do YOU get nervous?" He asked me with a disbelieving tone.

"Of course." I blinked at him. "I get nervous all the time. But I have a secret weapon."

"A secret weapon?"

"Mmmhmm." I ruffled his curly hair. "Every time before I skate, I give Winnie the Pooh a high five and I'm all good."

"Winnie the Pooh?" He'd spluttered.

"Yep." I nodded. "I've had him for years now, and he's never let me down once."

"Really?"

"You promise to take good care of him?" I asked him now and he looked at me with the most serious expression an 8 year old could have.

"I promise." He said fiercely.

"Good. If you look after him, he'll look after you, yeah?" He took the doll from my hand carefully and pet the little red shirt on it gently.

"Thank you."

"It's my pleasure, Phillipe." I let him go and he ran off to show the other students his doll.

"What are you smiling about?" Mistress Ekaterina asked while she motioned for me to leap like I was a puppet on a string.

"Nothing." I panted.

"You are not good liar." She raised her eyebrow. I chuckled and jumped again. Really, I was smiling because I felt ridiculously happy for some reason. Giving Phillipe my doll today had felt special and I knew that in his own way, he would treasure something that I had treasured for so long and I almost felt like a parent passing on a family heirloom. I was giddy with happiness.

"Jetê. Extend your legs. I want to see straight lines." She barked and I complied before she brought out her dreaded wooden ruler. I didn't stop smiling though.

Javier:

"Papa is going to be disappointed." Laura was saying on the phone, but I swallowed my guilt with a sigh.

"I really can't leave. I have new choreography to learn and things are just busy right now."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were training with THE Yuzuru Hanyu now." She gushed for the third time and I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal." I mumbled.

"That big of a ...He's an Olympic gold medalist. How many people can say that, huh?"

"I literally have 7 World titles, Sis." I grumbled vaguely hurt that she seemed to have forgotten and she cackled down the line.

"I know, I know. But Yuzuru is just..." She sighed heavily. "Is he as beautiful in real life as he is on TV?" The word 'more' ached desperately to fall off my tongue but I grunted and shifted my phone.

"Tell Papa I'll see him in a few months OK. And I'm sorry."

"You're so annoying, do you know that?" She said and I could almost feel her glaring at the phone.

"Te amo."

"Did you hear me?"

"Cuìdate." I laughed as I hung up.

I felt bad for lying. Deep down I knew that if I just asked Coach Brian for some time off to go back home to Spain for my birthday, he wouldn't have any problems with it. But I just didn't have the strength to go home right now. The way I was feeling at the moment, I'd go home and never want to come back. I was just so TIRED lately and I knew one look from Mama would have me packing my bags and moving back to our 3 bedroom house in Madrid. I just needed to get through the year. One more year, I told myself and then -

And then what?

I didn't even know.

"Thank you." Yuzu accepted my flask with a warm smile that made my stomach cramp and burst into an explosion of butterflies. I didn't even know I was capable of getting butterflies...

"De nada." I said and dropped on the bench next to him.

"This is for you." He said, putting a small circular lunch tin on my lap.

"What is this?" I picked it up and it was still warm.

"Bento." He said and when I stared at him blankly his cheeks turned a pretty bright pink. "Uh... It's ...lunch. For you."

"You made me lunch?" I asked and he dipped his head.

"Yes, I...You always make me hot chocolate." He replied defensively and I reached out to put my hand on his arm.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said, shoulders relaxing slightly.

"So what is it?" I tried to open it but he stopped me.

"No, not... you can open it when you get home."

"OK." I was curious now though. When he was certain I wasn't going to open the tin, he went back to pulling on his skates.

"Hey, are you busy next weekend?" I blurted out and he stopped again, looking up at me.

"Next weekend?" He asked then a small frown wrinkled his forehead. "We have practice."

"Well, Coach is giving me the day off because it's my birthday." I explained and light dawned in his eyes.

"Ah. I see. So you won't be at practice?"

"No, my friends want to throw me a party." I sniffed and put the lunch tin down next to my bag. "Do you want to come?"

"Come?"

"To my party?" I elaborated and his mouth fell open.

"You want me to come to your party?"

"If you want..." I backtracked. Maybe he didn't actually want to spend his free time with me and thought I was weird and -

"OK." He said simply and started tying his laces. The butterflies in my stomach were awake again.

"OK?"

"OK." He chuckled and before I knew it he was up and on the ice.

"OK." I beamed and got up to join him.

I smirked when I go home later that afternoon and opened my lunch box. I heated it up though and was pleasantly surprised by the time I was done.

JV: This water soup dumpling thing doesn't taste half bad.

YZ: 😆😊

Chapter Text

Javier:

Over the next few days, Yuzu and I fell into a rhythm of sorts; it was nice and comfortable and it made me wish I'd gotten the chance to know him like this earlier. I was learning all these different sides of him I never knew he had before.

My first impression of Yuzuru Hanyu had been...arrogant. Knowing him now, it felt strange that that thought had ever crossed my mind at all. His aloofness at competitions had been almost brutal and I know a lot of the other skaters avoided him to prevent any conflict...

But the truth was that he was just shy. So shy. When the reporters had hung around in the morning for the last few days, his shyness had almost turned him into a tortoise, with his head tucked deep in his hoodie as he arrived for practice. It took ages for his shoulders to relax and for him to stop tensing so hard I could hear his teeth grinding.

When he did relax though, it was beautiful. The small glimpse I'd seen that day so long ago at Worlds where he'd been a little playful and cheerful was nothing compared to a really happy Yuzu. I tried to ignore what it did to me when he smiled at me, but I couldn't deny that it made my heart beat a little faster.

Some things never changed though. It was no surprise that Yuzu was completely serious when he was skating. Too serious, if you asked me. His face would be set in a blank mask of concentration and lined with worry. They disappeared when I made him laugh though so I tried to do it as often as I could. It worked. Mostly.

"I think your mother is trying to burn me with her laser eyes." I said softly to him. Yuzu snorted delicately and snuck a peek at his mother who still had her lips pinched in disapproval.

"She's harmless." He replied and we both bent over when Tracy motioned for us to stretch. We were off the ice for today, getting ready to work some more on choreography and do some balance training. It was getting closer to beginning of the season and we really needed to work on solidifying our routines. I still needed to actually pick a track for my music and decide on a costume. Had Yuzu picked out his costume yet? I didn't doubt it would look amazing. He wasn't one to shy away from sparkles and he had a knack for picking the most beautiful colours for his skin...

I started when Tracy coughed loudly and I looked up to see she had already moved on.

I tapped the table as I flipped back and forth between the two tracks I had chosen for my shortlist. I don't know why I was having so much trouble just picking one. It was driving me crazy. Both tracks were great in their own way, but I just didn't know which one fit better.

"Is this your music?" Yuzuru asked as he ran a hand through his wet hair. I almost swallowed my tongue at how handsome he looked with his hair slicked back like that.

"Yeah." I answered when I could breathe. "You want to help? I can't pick one."

"Sure." He moved to sit down next to me and I caught a whiff of that woodsy cologne of his. I pressed play and watched his face as he listened. He closed his eyes and I was fascinated by how long his eye lashes were. They didn't even look real.

"Next." He said after a while and I played the next song. His mouth pursed and he tilted his head side the side. "I like the first one better."

"Really? It's more classical than I usually like."

"Different is not always bad." He smirked at me and I raised my eyebrow.

"I heard your music. Same old, same old." I teased him and he chuckled.

"I like my piece."

"You should. You have to listen to it for a whole year."

"Mmm."

"Seriously." I prodded his side. "What about that music you made me listen to last time at Worlds. Why don't you ever skate to that?" I asked and his face went through a wave of expressions.

"I don't really..." He shrugged. "I just listen to that for fun. It's not for skating." He replied. "For competing."

"Says who?" I blinked at him and he laughed awkwardly.

"It doesn't matter." He whispered softly and stood up. "I think you should pick the first one. I have to go now."

"Wait." I called out when he got to the door. "Are you still coming to my party tomorrow?" He paused and nodded slowly.

"Yes."

"I'll see you tomorrow then." I said and he gave me that smile that made my fingers tingle.

Yuzuru:

I'd never been to a party before. No, that was a lie. I'd been to plenty of parties for work, but I'd never been to a FRIEND'S party. It was a little scary and when Javi had asked if I was still coming, I'd had a mini panic attack for a second. SHOULD I go? I knew I wasn't the most fun person on the planet to hang out with, and maybe he'd just invited me to be polite and I should leave him alone to spend time with his friends...

Javi wasn't like that though. His eyes had been genuine and to be honest, I was really looking forward to spending time with him outside of the skating rink. The last time had been fun. That didn't mean I wasn't nervous though. My stomach was in knots all night and I tossed in my sleep until I gave up and went to sit I the living room, staring blankly at the TV.

"Yuzu?" I heard my mother's soft voice as she shuffled towards me. "Can't sleep?" She asked around a yawn.

"I'm sorry for waking you up." I said but she shook her head and sat down on the arm of the chair beside me.

"You didn't. I was on the phone with Sana."

"How is she?" I asked and leaned my head on my mother's gown covered thigh.

"Tired. She has a lot to do before she moves." My mother dropped her hand on my head and carded her fingers through my hair lightly. "What's wrong?"

"Hmm?" I shook my head. "Nothing's wrong."

"Uso. You usually only can't sleep before a competition." She pointed out.

"Hontou ni, nandemo nai kara." I muttered and closed my eyes. She kept quiet for a while before she moved to stand up.

"OK. I'll make you some tea and then you should go to sleep. You're too young to get bags under your eyes." She grumbled. I huffed softly and wrapped my arms around my knees while I waited. When she handed me a hot cup of tea, she yawned again and gestured to her room.

"I'm going to go to bed. Don't stay up too long." She said and I nodded.

I almost spat out the tea when I took a sip. I hadn't had it in only a few weeks but I must have gotten used to Javi's sweet as hell hot chocolate because God... now it really did just taste like a cup of boiled leaves. I snickered quietly and dumped the tea in the kitchen sink.

I looked up at the building Javi had texted me to meet him at. It didn't look like much. It looked like it was an old bowling club...

"Yuzuru." I heard and looked up to find Javi waving me forward from the door. "You found it." He grinned at me and I huffed.

"Yeah. It wasn't too hard." I replied. It had been harder getting away from my mother without raising any suspicions. I'd told her that even though we didn't officially have practice today, I was going to the rink to practice my routine. I'd left dressed in my usual training get up, but I'd brought a change of clothes with me in my gym bag and changed in hotel gym's locker room on the first floor.

"You look good." Javi said and my cheeks heated a little.

"I...thanks. It's just... jeans..." I stammered. "Happy birthday." I finally blurted and his smile became wider.

"Thank you. I'm feeling old." He chuckled and hooked his arm around my neck, dragging me inside the building. Inside it was a little noisy. People were milling around as they waited in line for shoes so they could bowl, but we walked past them, heading towards the back of the room.

"Javier. My dude." A loud voice called and Javi let me go to high five his mountain of a friend. Honestly, it was a struggle to keep my mouth from falling open. I didn't know people could be so...big.

"Cal. How've you been?" They slapped each other on the back and I unconsciously took a step back when he turned to me.

"Who's this?"

"This is Yuzu." He answered for me and squeezed my shoulder. "Be nice."

"Why wouldn't I be nice?" He spluttered and held out his hand towards me. "Hi, I'm Calvin."

"Hello." I smiled a little. "Hanyu Yuzuru."

"Javi!"

"Happy birthday, man."

"Mi Amigo."

I hung back a bit while Javi went around greeting his friends. A small part of me was already regretting coming because I felt awkward as hell right now, but then I was pulled into the group by Javi and it was too noisy to really think about how shy I was being.

Chapter Text

Javier:

I grabbed Yuzu before he could do his usual tortoise routine, keeping him close by my side so I could make sure he was comfortable, but gently pushing him to engage with the people around him. He stumbled a bit at first, but he seemed to be having a nice conversation with Louis now.

"You gonna tell me what's up with you two?"

"Hmm?" I faced Cal who was leaning against the wall and sipping on whatever the hell that green stuff was. His lips curled into a small smile and he jerked his chin towards where Yuzu was getting a bowling lesson from Bjorn.

"You haven't taken your eyes off him since he got here." He said. "So what's up with you two?"

"Nothing." I blinked at him and shrugged my shoulders. "He's just... he's not used to hanging out with dorks like you." I said with a laugh and he shoved me a little. "He's shy. I'm just worried about him."

"He looks fine to me." Cal snorted. He did look fine. Yuzu took the ball Bjorn handed him and looked at it with a worried frown, but it sailed beautifully down the aisle and even though he only knocked down 2 pins, he still jumped up and down with excitement. It was cute.

"Jesus, I don't even know why I asked." Cal laughed beside me and slapped me on the back. "Hey, if he makes you happy, I'm happy for you."

"What?" I boggled at him. What the hell was he going on about? Makes me happy...Did he think that we were... "Hey!" He didn't answer me though. I lost my chance to bug him when Yuzu bounced over to me with a big smile on his face.

"Javi! I did it! Did you see?" His dark brown eyes were wide and sparkling.

"I did. You did great." I grinned at him, holding up my hand for a high five. He slapped it happily. "Are you hungry, or are you having too much fun?" I asked leading him back to the others.

"I can eat." He replied and I pointed everyone to the restaurant through the next room. Yuzu slid into the chair when I pulled it out for him and I handed him a menu.

"This one is in English." I said and he giggled as he shook his head.

"Thank you." I sat down next to him and didn't even bother opening mine.

"Do you know what you want already?" He asked me.

"Bacon cheese burger." I said with a smirk. I'd been craving one all week and my mouth was already watering. Yuzu wrinkled his nose delicately.

"I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to eat burgers just before the new season."

"You know that diet is just a guideline, right?"

"Bad food is bad for a reason."

"It's my birthday, come on." I laughed out loud. He eyed me sideways but he only raised his eyebrows and went back to looking at his menu quietly. When I glanced at the rest of the table, everyone was sitting there looking at me with strange expressions on their faces. "What?" I asked but like Yuzu they all looked down at their menus in silence.

"I'm so full." I complained and leaned back in my seat.

"That burger was the size of your head." Yuzu commented.

"Worth it." I snickered and he huffed.

"We should go play a game. Let's move. Get the blood pumping." Louis said with an evil grin.

"I'm in." Bjorn said and burped loudly in Louis' face.

"Eww. Fuck you, man." Louis punched his arm.

"I'm in too. I think my gear is still at the rink."

"The rink?" Yuzu's eyes lit up. "You skate?"

"I guess I should have introduced them properly before." I mumbled, patting my stomach. "My friends here are all part of the Canadian Amateur Hockey League."

"Hockey?" His head tilted. "Ice hockey?"

"Yeah." Cal grunted. "You want to play?"

"Can I?" Yuzu looked at me hopefully.

"Sure." I reached out to ruffle his hair.

"Can he even skate?" Alex piped up and I snorted so loud the people at the tables near us all turned to look at us.

"Don't worry. He can skate."

I was still lacing up my hockey skates when I saw Yuzu step on the ice. He frowned at his feet and shuffled down the ice stiffly. Hockey skates were a lot different than the high tech all black skates I was used to seeing him in at practice. It didn't take him long to adjust though. Soon he was gliding along just as gracefully as usual. I joined him on the ice just as he fell trying to triple toe loop.

"Might want to lay off the jumps with these." I chuckled as I looked down at him sprawled out on the ice. "Coach will kill me if you break something."

"I just wanted to try." He grinned up at me.

"Come on." I held out my hand to help him up.

The game was fun. It started out fairly chilled but when the others realized just how much of a beast Yuzu was on the ice, the air in the rink changed.

"I told you he can skate." I said in response to Alex's expression.

"Who the hell is this kid?" He panted, leaning on his stick.

"An Olympic champion." I cackled and skated away when he tried to grab me.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" He yelled behind me. "Why didn't you say so?"

The party moved over to Louis' house after the game and although Yuzuru said he couldn't stay long, he was still there 2 hours later, draped over the couch and giggling at Bjorn trying to beat Cal at FIFA.

"Do you need me to take you home?" I squatted down to ask him softly.

"I don't want to go home." He answered loudly. He fluttered his eyelashes at me and I saw now how red his eyes were. "I wanna stay here." He slurred this time and confirmed my suspicion.

"Are you ...are you drinking?" I asked in shock and he laughed.

"Bjorn made me drinks. They taste like candy." He mumbled and I looked past him to glare at Bjorn.

"Bjorn, what the fuck?"

"Huh?" He didn't take his eyes off the screen.

"What the hell did you give him?" I hissed.

"Just some punch, dude. Relax." He grumbled.

"Relax..." I huffed and looked at Yuzu again. His eyes were still watching me. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." He said but he stumbled when I lifted him off the couch. I'd switched to water an hour ago and I was OK to drive, but there was no way I could drop him off to his mother like this...

"Hey, I think we're gonna go home now." I said to everyone in the room and got a few grunts and slaps on the back goodbye.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, birthday boy." Cal wiggled his eyebrows at me and I stuck out my tongue at him.

"What wouldn't he do?" Yuzu asked me as I walked with him to my car.

"Careful." I ignored his question and helped him inside, closing the door and jogging around to the driver side. When I got in, he was still fiddling with the seat belt so I leaned over and clipped it in for him.

"Your hair is so curly." He said randomly and I smiled at him when I sat back and started the car.

"Like my sisters."

"Hmm." He hummed and he was quiet for the rest of the drive.

We got to my apartment a little after midnight and it was a mission to get a sleepy Yuzu up the stairs.

"We're almost there." I panted and he hiccupped when I squeezed his waist too tight trying to hold him upright and unlock the door at the same time. "Sorry."

"I'm thirsty." He mumbled as we stumbled inside. "Where is this?"

"My house." I replied and deposited him on the kitchen stool. "You want water? Coffee? I don't think I have any tea..." I banged around my cupboards. "You should probably have both. Your head is going to kill you tomor - today... shit." I glanced behind me. "Have you even had alcohol before?"

"No." He stared at me blankly.

"Jesus." I laughed in exasperation. "OK." I got a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to him. "Drink that. I'll make you some coffee." I only had instant but it would have to do for now. Yuzu watched me make him a cup as he drank and set the bottle aside when I gave him the cup.

"Thank you." I laughed.

"Still polite even when you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk." He frowned.

"Of course not." I pursed my lips. When he was done and gave me the cup, I stuck the water bottle back in his hand and gestured down the hall. "Let's get you to bed." He was much steadier on his feet now so I let him walk by himself and he waited patiently while I pulled down my covers and fluffed my pillows. I was about to ask him if he wanted to grab a shower before he went to sleep, but he flopped back on the bed and closed his eyes, curling into the blankets.

"So cute." I muttered with a quiet laugh and headed for the shower myself.

I expected Yuzu to be asleep when I got out of the shower, but when I stepped back in my room he was still wide awake, staring at the bathroom door.

"You should be asleep. We have practice in the morning."

"Can't sleep." He mumbled.

"How come?" I wiped my hair and drifted over to my wardrobe to find some sweat pants.

"Coffee is bad." He answered simply and I dropped my towel to put on my pants. There was a small squeak and when I turned around to check, there was a pillow covering Yuzu's head. I let out an amused puff and hopped on the bed. I had intended to tease him about his issue with nudity, but when I lifted the pillow off his face and I saw his rosy cheeks and sleepy eyes, he words caught in my throat.

"You really are too cute." I said softly and the pink in his cheeks deepened to a dark red. His lips curled adorably and I had to fight the urge to press mine against them. I'd never really even thought about kissing a man before, but right now I was very curious. Would his lips be soft? They looked soft. When he was nervous and bit into his bottom lip, his teeth sunk in like they were the softest of marshmallows...

No, Javi. Control yourself. I shouldn't even be thinking about kissing Yuzu. I should be getting off the bed and moving to the couch so I could get up in time for practice. I shifted so I could get off, but before I could pull back too far, Yuzu's hand snapped out and he grabbed my arm.

"Wait." He whispered.

"What is it?" I asked him quietly but he didn't answer me. I felt his hand travel up over my arm and I wanted to shiver when goose bumps prickled my skin. I stayed still while his fingers snuck around the back of my neck and I stayed still when they ventured up into my hair. When his nails curled against my scalp, I couldn't help letting out a small moan though and I didn't resist when he dragged me down and kissed me.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

My head was swimming. I didn't mind though because I felt great. I felt better than great. I felt AMAZING. I hadn't known what to expect from spending the day with Javi's friends, but they had been awesome. It was silly, but I spent a lot of my time around people who knew who I was and they all either treated me like I was an outcast or like I was made of glass. It had been fun hanging out with people who didn't really know who I was. It made me feel...like I was floating in the clouds. Or maybe that was the alcohol...I wasn't quite sure.

I heard the shower switch off inside the bathroom and when Javi opened the door the light from inside hit my eyes and I squinted, but I opened them again because damn... the way the light was shining on his body was beautiful. Drops of water he hadn't wiped away twinkled and the dips and valleys of his muscles were cast in dark shadows that made my breath catch in my throat.

"You should be asleep. We have practice in the morning." He said.

"Can't sleep." I mumbled.

"How come?" He asked and I kept my eyes on him as he walked over to his wardrobe. The muscles in his back flexed when he grabbed the handles and pulled it open. A drop of water shifted over his shoulder blade and slid down the ridge of his spine so slowly it made me want to lick it. Javi was right. I should be asleep. If I was asleep I would be able to lick it. Why wasn't I asleep again? It was probably the coffee.

"Coffee is bad." I answered belatedly and I almost choked on my spit when the towel around his waist dropped to the floor. I grabbed the pillow by my head and used it to cover my face, but I really should have used it to cover my crotch. I could feel myself getting hard and my cheeks burned with embarrassment. It would look too obvious if I moved it now, right?

I sucked in a sharp breath when I felt the bed dip and Javi moved the pillow from my face. He looked like he was about to say something, but he paused and something in his eyes changed.

"You really are too cute." It was the way he said it so softly that made me blush harder and my pants got even tighter. I didn't think I was cute at all, but he didn't look like he was lying... in fact, his eyes drifted down to stare at my lips and ...

I felt him move like he was going to get off the bed and my heart skipped a beat as I panicked. No... I reached out quickly to grab his arm and keep him near me.

"Wait." I breathed. I wasn't dreaming right? I knew that somewhat, but I knew I hadn't imagined what I saw in his eyes either. It looked like he wanted to kiss me. Did he want to kiss me? I let my hand smooth over his skin slowly, moving up his arm and drifting up the side of his neck so I could slide my hand up into his hair. I'd wanted to do that so badly in the car earlier. It felt as soft as it looked. I curled my fingers on his scalp and when he moaned, I couldn't remember why I was taking so long.

It didn't take any effort at all to drag him closer to me and I sighed with relief when his lips finally pressed against mine. In the back of my mind I was slightly aware that this was a bad idea, but I was already drowning, moaning softly in the way it made my toes curl when he pried my lips open and his tongue brushed over mine gently. Jesus, is this why people were so obsessed with kissing?

"Yuzu..." He whispered when I pulled back because I needed to breathe. This close, I could see his eyes were dark and a shiver ran through me when I felt his hand curl around my waist. I lifted my head again and my lips just brushed over his again when his grip tightened. "Yuzu...you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk." I muttered, a little frustrated. If anything, I was high. It felt like I was floating in the air right; like when I was skating, just before I landed a jump. I was dizzy with how much I wanted him to kiss me again. I whimpered as I followed after him and nipped at his mouth gently until he gave in and kissed me back. Fuck, and I thought I was hard before...

He was hot. His skin was like fire when my hands roamed down over his back and I arched my back to press closer to him. I wanted to cry when his lips left mine again, but as soon as I felt him nibbling on my neck, I was moaning all over again.

"Javi..." He whispered something in Spanish against my neck that made his stubble scratch my skin and I was completely unprepared for how sexy that was. My nipples pebbled under my shirt and I gave in to the desire to move...to buck under him.

I don't remember getting undressed. Everything was a blur of want and need and -

"Onegai..." I whispered when Javi pushed my legs open with his knees. I gasped when his hand dipped in the space between us and wet fingers slid inside me. It was so sudden and ...strange... that I tensed around his fingers, but hot lips working their way up my body had me writhing and groaning in no time. My heart was beating so hard in my chest I was sure he could feel it when he passed over it and sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, but it stuttered and just about stopped completely when fingers became something else.

"Are you OK?" He whispered, leaning back on his arm so he could look at my face. Was I OK? I wasn't sure. It felt like I was being split open and I didn't quite know what to do with the pain coursing through me right now. "Yuzu..." He panted again and I felt his thumb caressing my cheek while I blinked up at the ceiling. "Look at me." When I could breathe again, I did as he asked and looked at him. "Are you OK?"

Now that I had taken a moment to compose myself, it didn't feel so painful anymore. There was a tingle of pleasure at the fullness inside me now and I let out a soft groan of relief. Yes, it definitely felt much better now. I rocked my hips experimentally and Javi let out the most delicious moan.

"Yuzu...I need you to tell me if you're OK or - "

"I'm fine." I whispered and he exhaled harshly, dropping his head on my shoulder.

"Thank God." He mumbled and surged forward.

"FUCK." It slipped out by mistake and was so loud, I slammed my hand over my mouth in surprise, but a few seconds later I let go because damn it... "Oh my God." Just like kissing, I'd always wandered about why everyone was so obsessed with sex. I completely understood why now. Holy...

Javi slid one hand around my hip and I was too far gone to resist when he lifted my leg to put it on his shoulder. I was glad I didn't when his teeth grazed over the inside of my ankle and a jolt of pleasure shot through me like lightning. It didn't feel any less pleasurable when he did it the second time.

"Yamero." I hissed when he did it again, and I don't know if he understood or not but he put my leg down and leaned onto me, thrusting into me a little harder. I was pretty sure I was making way too much noise, but I didn't know how to stop it. All I could do was wrap my legs around his body and claw my nails along his skin, gasping breathlessly every time he rocked his hips.

"Are you close?" He asked when one of my hands moved to wrap around my cock, but he smacked it away and gripped it tightly in his own hand, stroking in time with his thrusts. "Let me." I whined helplessly and it wasn't long before I was throbbing and pulsing in his hand. Moments later, he stilled above me and I decided watching Javi come inside me was the sexiest thing I would ever see in my life.

"Fuck." He groaned when he collapsed on the bed next to me.

Fuck was right. What the fuck had just happened?

There was a soft buzzing that was driving me crazy. What the hell was that? I really didn't want to open my eyes, but if Javi didn't...

My eyes flew open then. Oh God. Javi... I really was at his house... in his bed... We'd really... yeah, a quick scan of my body said I'd really been that stupid. Before I could figure out how the hell I was going to deal with THAT, the buzzing started again. That had to be my phone. I winced when I leaned over the side of the bed and scratched around on the floor for my pants. I huffed triumphantly when I found it, but my stomach jumped into my throat when I saw how many missed calls I had from my mother.

"Okaasan." I answered after sneaking out of bed.

"YUZURU!" She screamed in my ear so loud I had to hold the phone away from me. "WHERE ARE YOU! TELL ME WHERE ARE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!"

"Okaasan. I'm..."

"If you don't come home in the next 10 minutes, I swear you'll wish - "

"I'm coming, I'm on my way already." I stammered into the phone. "I'll see you soon." I hung up before she could say anything else. My mother's threats were worse than the Yakuzas.

I got dressed as silently as I could and grabbed my gym bag I hadn't even seen Javi take out of the car and I bolted down the stairs. Each step was torture because I was terrified of what my mother was going to do when I got back to the hotel, but also because my ass was still in a world of pain. Freaking Javi and his damn -

The Uber I'd called was already downstairs when I got there so I jumped inside quickly. I winced when my butt hit the seat.

"How are you this morning, Sir?" My driver asked and I mumbled something in reply. Morning...It was already 05:24 and I needed to get back, shower, pack some fresh clothes, avoid getting strangled by my mother... and get over to the rink in time for practice.

When I got to the hotel, I scrambled out of the car and ran to the elevators. Luckily one was already open and I was upstairs in no time. My mother was already waiting for me by the door with her hands on her hips and a dangerous look on her face.

"I'm sorry." I blurted immediately.

"You're lucky I called your coach before I called the police. Why didn't you tell me you were going to a party?" I froze just inside the doorway.

"I..."

"I was a little worried when I didn't hear from you so I called your coach to see if maybe practice ran overtime. He told me that he'd taken all of you out to celebrate Fernandez-San's birthday. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm ...sorry?" I was a little confused. Had Coach Brian actually lied to my mother for me?

"YOU SHOULD BE!" She exploded. "Where were you?"

"I..." I racked my brain for an appropriate excuse. "We stayed over at one of Javi's friends' house. Everyone was too tired to drive and I guess I ...fell asleep." It was a bad lie. So bad. But luckily my mother thought I'd been out all night with Coach Brian therefore it couldn't have been that bad. I had no idea how I was going repay him for saving my ass, but I could start by not being late for practice.

"Next time, call me. Do you know how worried I was?" My mother said as she followed behind me. I tossed my bag on my bed and headed for the bathroom.

"I was fine, Okaasan. I need shower. I have to get to practice."

"Why are you limping?" She asked suddenly and I flushed bright red.

"I fell at practice yesterday. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" She looked like she wanted to follow me into the bathroom to check.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm great!" I slammed the door quickly and leaned against it heavily. Shit. That was close.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I chewed on my lip as I skated towards Coach Brian who was waiting on the ice for me already. I wasn't late so there could only be one reason why he was waiting for me.

"Yuzuru. Good morning." I mumbled a good morning too and gave him a stiff semi bow. I'd been in too much of a rush to notice this morning, but my head was killing me.

Silence.

"Yuzu, look." He sighed eventually. "I know young people always find it hard to believe, but I was young once too you know." He started. "I understand that this sport...it's a lot. Its a lot for anyone, but especially for someone your age so I'm not going to ask you why your mother was calling me to ask where you were." He reached out to lay a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. "I know that ...late blooming teenage rebellion aside, you do care about skating. But the second that changes, we're gonna have problems, OK?" I swallowed hard.

"Yes, Coach." I whispered. "Thank you. For ... not saying anything to my mother."

"Of course." He smiled briefly and folded his arms, getting serious now. "Its almost time for the beginning of the season so we really need to work on your music and costumes now. Tracy has some samples at the back and we can go though them later, but have you picked a song?"

We were still working on deciding how many jumps to put in my program when the door to the rink blew open and Javi hurried inside. My entire body buzzed with awareness and I could acutely feel all the scratches that had been left all over my body. I'd spotted a red mark just under my neck in the bathroom shower this morning. My hand went up to touch it over my shirt lightly.

"Out." Coach Brian said before Javi could say anything.

"Coach, come on... you know it was my birthday yesterday." He paused with his gym bag in his hand.

"You're nearly an hour late. Out."

"But..." Javi's eyes flickered towards me and I fought to keep a straight face. I wasn't quite sure it was working so I looked down at my skates.

"If Yuzu could get here on time, so could you. No excuses." Coach said as he spotted Coach Ghislain at the other side of the rink. "Since you had such a good time at Mistress Ekaterina's studio, she'll be happy to have you again."

"Coach!"

"Be here on time next time tomorrow and we won't have any problems. OK?" He said and Javi sighed heavily in defeat. I peeked at him from under my lashes and saw he was looking at me. His lips were pinched tight and he he looked like he wanted to speak to me, but I was too afraid of what he would say to skate over to him right now.

I hadn't given it that much thought since I woke up in his bed, but what if... I know I had been drunk last night but he had been too, right? What if he thought that sleeping with me was a mistake and ... I mean, Javi wasn't gay, right? I knew for a fact he wasn't. It had been all the world could talk about ever since his flippant statement that had shook the world and cost him the gold at the Olympics. I had forgotten all about that for a moment and now my heart was beating fast in my chest for another reason.

"Yuzuru." Coach Brian called out.

"Hai." I answered absently in Japanese.

"Costumes." He said and I hurried over to the other side of the rink.

"Coming."

Javier:

Damn it. I watched Yuzu as he skated away from me and my heart felt heavy in my chest. When I'd woken up this morning and he hadn't been in bed, I'd been a little disappointed, but after seeing the time, not surprised. Yuzu would never be late for practice. I'd tried calling but his phone was off and I'd been hoping to pull him aside so we could...talk I guess, but now...

I hefted my bag on my shoulder and dropped the flask of hot chocolate I'd brought for him on the bench. If Coach was kicking me out of practice again, I might as well head back home and get some sleep.

As soon as I sank into my bed again, I was hit with a whiff of Yuzuru's cologne. I followed the scent trail with my nose and found it's source. My pillow was covered in his smell I tried not to feel like an idiot when I curled around it and went to sleep.

It was much easier to wake up in the afternoon. My head felt less fuzzy and after I had lunch I felt much much better. I tried Yuzu again but his phone was still off. Was he ignoring me? The thought made me pause. I hadn't considered that maybe he might be regretting what happened last night. He could be, right? I'd warned him that he was drunk but I hadn't exactly protested too much when he'd thrown himself at me. I don't know why it hurt so much to think that he might put last night aside as a random drunken fuck.

"Javi. My little darling." I stuck out my cheek so Mistress Ekaterina could give it the lightest of kisses. "Back again so soon."

"I missed you." I smirked at her and she giggled airily.

"Come come. My little ones are this way." She said and took my arm, leading me down the hall. I craned my neck to look at the room she'd just come out of.

"Is Yuzu here today?" I asked her quietly and she raised her eyebrow at me.

"The last time you were here, you spoke. So you know each other." She said in that stiff way of hers. "Why don't you call and ask if he is here?"

"His phone is off." I pouted and she let out a small sharp laugh.

"Class. Say hello to Mr Fernandez again." She said loudly and there was a chorus of hello's. Phillipe jumped up at the back and waved quickly. I winked at him. "Mr Lambiel will be by shortly to start class. Then you divide and conquer." She said to me and I gave her a mock salute.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"I will smack you if you call me ma'am again." She muttered darkly and I eyed the ruler peeking out of her skirt.

"Of course, Mistress Ekaterina." I replied, which didn't sound much better to me. She squeezed my arm as she left and then there was a wave of noise as all the little ballet students cornered me by the movable barres.

"Mr Fernandez, is it true that you're famous?" I blinked at the 8 year old in front of me with her hands on her hips.

"Um...I guess so?"

"I didn't lie, guys. I told you." Phillipe scoffed out loud and pushed his way to the front.

"Hey little dude." I held up my hand for a high five and he slapped it hard. "What's that?" I pointed at the little Winnie the Pooh doll in his other hand.

"Yuzuru-San gave it to me." He said, suddenly beaming. He held it up for me to see. "He said it's his special good luck bear but he said I can keep it. For the recital later."

"He did?" I asked, running my hands over the bear's fur gently. It really didn't look new at all. The yellow fur was ragged in some places and the red shirt on it had some uneven stitches on it. Had he really given Phillipe his good luck charm? Every athlete in every sport had their own quirks and superstitions that kept them sane during competitions. I was shocked Yuzu would give up something so important for a child he barely knew.

"He's really nice." Phillipe smiled at me and I nodded slowly.

"Yeah, he is."

When Mr Lambiel arrived, we split into groups and worked on staging for the recital. It hadn't been long since I'd last seen them dance, but I could see some improvements already. It made me proud to see how hard they were working.

"Awesome, Nina. You did great today."

"Thanks Mr Fernandez." She giggled happily and hopped over to play with her friend Sarah.

"I haven't seen you around before." Mr Lambiel said next to me.

"Oh." I chuckled awkwardly. "I'm not really here much. Only when my coach wants to remind me to be on time for practice."

"Coach?"

"Ah, yeah. Coach Brian." I hummed and shifted on my feet.

"So... you play hockey?" He asked and I laughed out loud.

"No...no, I'm a figure skater."

"Really?" His eyes widened. "You don't..." He paused, but I already knew what he meant to say. I didn't necessarily look like I spent my time doing spins and twizzles on ice all day. It used to ruffle my feathers a lot in the early days but I was over it now.

"I know." I glanced at my watch for the 6th time in an hour.

"You got somewhere to be?" He asked. "I can take it from here, if you want?" I thought about Yuzu and how he hadn't even looked me in the eye this morning. No, we needed to talk. Today. Now.

"Are you sure?" I asked, but I was already grabbing my bag and checking my phone.

"Of course. Go. I got it." He waved me away with laughter.

"You're the best." I slapped him on the back. I said bye to the kids and got out of there as fast as I could.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Is there anything you want from the store?"

"Betsuni nani mo." I mumbled to my mother and fiddled with the Winnie the Pooh head band I was using to hold my hair back. I had tried to convince her otherwise, but my mother insisted on giving me one of her face masks because I had a photo shoot scheduled for tomorrow and I had 'bags under my eyes the size of Fukubukuro .'

"OK...well, what do you want for supper?"

"Anything is fine." I said and it was quiet in the room for a while.

"Yuzuru. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I snapped out of my stupor and looked my mother in the eye. "I'm just tired. Practice was hard today." I hadn't been able to focus then too when we'd gotten back on the ice and I hadn't been able to land any of my jumps. Given that had mostly been because every time I landed, sharp pain radiated from my backside.

"If you had stayed in Japan, it would have been better." My mother said stiffly.

"Okaasan." I sighed.

"No. You wouldn't be stressing about anything right now and getting new course work for school and -"

"I can handle homework, Okaasan." I said and pushed her towards the door. She needed to leave. She was driving me crazy.

"I'll be back in a few hours, OK? Try to sleep and don't eat anything oily."

"I won't." I waved goodbye to her as she walked towards the hotel elevator and my hand fell to my side as soon as she was out of sight. Finally. I could wallow in misery in peace.

I decided to take a bath since I had the time right now and no energy; soaking in the tub with a selection of bath salts my sister had gotten for me the last time I'd gone home and complained that I missed the smell. It was great. I could feel my body starting to relax slowly and if I could just get my mind to shut up for a few hours...

Just as my eyes were starting to droop, there was a ping and a series of beeps that told me I was getting a call from reception. I groaned out loud, but heaved myself u out of the bath.

"Hello?" I answered wearily.

"Mr Hanyu. There is someone here at reception requesting to see you."

"There is?" I blinked in surprise. Ever since I'd moved to Toronto, I'd never had any visitors. "Did they give a name?"

"Yes. A Mr Javier Fernandez." My breath stalled in my throat and I had to push to find the right words in the English language.

"He's downstairs?"

"Yes, Sir. Do I have your permission to send him up?" Why was he... I wasn't... "Sir?"

"Ah...yes. You can send him up." I said and hung up quickly. Damn it. I ran back to my room and I was just putting on a shirt when there was a knock at the door. I tried to calm my beating heart as much as I could by taking deep breaths and I almost felt OK when I opened the door. The calm only lasted for a second though because as soon as I saw him standing there, butterflies erupted in my stomach so violently I felt nauseous.

"Yuzu..."

"Javi." I coughed slightly and shifted on my bare feet.

Silence.

"I just wanted - "

"You can come - " We said at the same time and both of us paused. "You can come in." I tried again and he nodded slowly. I stepped aside to let him in, but he brushed by me so close I could smell his shampoo as he walked past. I closed the door behind him and thanked whatever gods had persuaded my mother to get her hair done today.

Javi looked around my hotel suite as he ventured deeper inside before stopping in the living room and turning around to wait for me. I hesitated for a moment before moving closer to him.

"You didn't go to ballet practice." He said.

"I canceled today." I whispered. Why was I whispering?

"Why?" He asked and I pursed my lips as I wrung my hands together. "Was it because of me? Because you would have seen me there?" I shook my head slightly. Javi sighed softly and ran a hand through his curls. "I don't...you wouldn't look at me. At the rink... are you upset with me? At ...what happened?" He thought I was upset?

"No..." I breathed.

"I know you were drunk and maybe I should have had a little more restraint ad I'm sorry if I - "

"Javi...it's fine. I'm not mad." I said quietly and his mouth snapped shut. "I wanted to..." My cheeks burned because it was ridiculous that I even had to say it. "I wanted to have sex with you. I wasn't mad at you."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm."

"You're sure?" I let out a short laugh.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"OK..."

"OK."

"OK..." He sighed again, but this time a small smile was building on his face.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked quickly. "Or...eat. You just came from class right?" I muttered and tripped over my feet backtracking to the kitchen. "I think we have some flavored water...somewhere. I was going to have a snack anyway. I'm so hungry."

"Yuzu..." I found a packet of carrot and celery sticks in the fridge and huffed in triumph, grabbing a tub of low fat dip as well.

"I knew I still had something." I mumbled and stuck a carrot in my mouth, offering one to Javi. He looked at me for a second, then down at the carrot and back at my face. My heart skipped a beat when he took a step forward and I took a shaky step backward.

When my back hit the fridge, I couldn't breathe. I stayed frozen in place as Javi leaned forward and took a bite of the carrot still sticking out of my mouth. I gasped softly and the piece still left in my mouth dropped to the floor. Javi surged forward again and it was embarrassing how quickly I melted against him.

His lips were warm and tasted just like I remembered. Soft too. So so soft even though he was kissing me so roughly right now. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip and I felt it zing all the way down to my knees, making them buckle just a little. God, Yuzu, get a hold of yourself; I scolded myself. Breathe. I sucked in a breath but it was useless. Javi stole it again a moment later.

"Javi..." I panted when he let me go again and he dropped his forehead on my cheek. I don't know when we'd become pressed so close to each other, but I could feel the heat of his hard length on my thigh and my body started to ache.

Javier:

"I'm sorry." I murmured and took a small step back just so I could focus again. "You just looked so cute. I couldn't help myself."

"Cute?" He fluttered his dark lashes at me and I reached up to tug one of the ears on his Winnie the Pooh hairband. His cheeks flushed bright red and he lifted his hand to pull it off but I stopped him.

"Leave it. I like it." I chuckled and he huffed loudly.

"I forgot I had it on." He muttered and shuffled around me to put the bag of carrots and dip in his hands on the kitchen table. I drifted to the table while he hurried back to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water. I would be lying if I said I didn't admire his ass when he bent over. I was overcome by a strong urge to lean over and sink my teeth into one of those round globes. My mouth watered at the thought. Yuzu was hard muscle all over; being a professional athlete made sure of that... but his ass was like soft cheese. Strange, I know, but when my fingers had grabbed it last night, the give was remarkable ...

"Javi?"

"Hmm?" I started. Yuzu was standing in front of me holding out a bottle of water, so I took it before I grabbed something else.

"I guess you must be a Winnie the Pooh fan." I said when we moved over to the couch. His hand went up to his head again. "Phillipe told me you gave him your good luck charm. That was really sweet of you."

"I ...he looked like he needed it more than I did right now." He said quietly and shrugged. "And I have a few more."

"How many more is a few?" I asked and he paused before he patted my knee and pointed down the hall. I almost laughed out loud when I walked into his room and saw an entire shelf of Winnie the Pooh plush dolls all lined up neatly.

"This is a few?!"

"I had more in Japan." He replied and I did laugh then.

"That's insane. Where did you find all of them?"

"My sister buys them for me sometimes. But I always look for one when I'm on vacation." He picked one off the shelf and tugged on its red shirt. "They're very special to me."

"Yeah?" I moved closer to him so I could look over all the dolls. "These ones all look new though. The one you gave Phillipe...that one was extra special, wasn't it?" He hummed softly and sat down on his bed.

"The first one I had." His eyes looked sad as he pet the yellow fur on his doll. I sat down next to him and waited for him to continue. "When I was a teenager, in Japan... there was an earthquake in my hometown." He started. "It was really bad. My family and I were... it was just really bad." He swallowed hard and he looked at me with watery eyes.

"The first thing that I saw when I opened my eyes in the rubble was that Winnie the Pooh doll. I still don't know where it came from, but it ...it was the only thing that was colorful ...in all that rubble. Yellow and red. It ... He's been with me every since. Colorful in all the ...rubble. If I can focus on him, I feel better." He was looking at me like he expected me to make fun of him about it for some reason and my heart squeezed in my chest.

"I'm sorry. That you had to go through that." I said carefully. "I think great, that he makes you feel better. He is a colorful little chico, isn't he?" I took the bear from his hands and poked at it's stomach.

"Hey. Be careful with him." I poked him again and Yuzu snorted, taking him back from me.

"You know what else is yellow and red?" I asked him with a grin. He raised his eyebrow warily.

"What?"

"The Spanish flag." I wriggled my eyebrows at him and he scoffed out loud.

"Shut up."

"I'm still hungry."

"I gave you food."

"You gave me vegetables." I complained. "You didn't even cook them."

"My mother is going shopping today, we don't really have anything." He said as he snuck around me to peek in the fridge. "There's some ramen I think if you want."

"Yeah, we can have some ramen."

I watched him as he heated the water and he handed me a bowl when it was still steaming. He hunted for a pair of chopsticks and hesitated when he held them out for me.

"You can use chopsticks, right?"

"How hard can it be?" I asked and his mouth fell open, but he gave them to me anyway. 3 minutes later he was laughing out loud when the noddles slipped away from me for the 400th time.

"I can give you a fork."

"Are you kidding me? This isn't even about eating anymore. It's a matter of pride."

"Don't move both of them. Only one."

"HOW!" He cackled and lifted some noodles with his chopsticks.

"Like that. Did you watch my hands?"

"Do it again."

"My noodles are getting cold."

"Do it again." I pressed.

By the time I got the hang of it, the noodles were a cold congealed mess in the bowl.

"This doesn't even count now." He snickered. "They aren't slippery anymore."

"It counts." I argued and he smirked at me.

"If you say so."

"I say so."

"OK."

"Don't look at me like that." I said and his smile got even wider.

"Like what?"

"Like that."

"What must I look at you like, then?" He asked and I dragged his chair close to mine. I pressed my lips on his gently and when he sighed, I slipped my tongue inside to brush over his. When my hand came up to caress his cheek, I felt him shiver and I kissed him again. Tilting my head back, his eyes were glazed and his perfect little dumpling cheeks were just the right color pink.

"Like this. I want you to look at me like this." I was just about to suggest we head back to his bedroom when he stiffened. A moment later there was a series of beeps and the hotel room door opened.

"Yuzu, can you come help me with these ba - Oh." I let go of Yuzu's face slowly.

Uh oh.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I was dead. I had been so lost in Javi's presence that I forgot all about the time and my mother...

"I'm gonna go." Javi whispered next to me and I nodded to him, standing up and watching my mother's eyes follow him as he headed towards the door. "Mrs Hanyu." He said to her, but she merely stared at him in silence. Javi cleared his throat gently and gave me one more look over his shoulder. 'I'll see you tomorrow' he mouthed and disappeared out the door. Tomorrow...

"Wait!" I had completely forgotten that I still had his flask with me. I had been surprised to see it on the bench at the rink when I'd been leaving. When had he even found the time to make me hot chocolate? I scrambled around the kitchen until I found it and bolted out the door after him. "Javi, wait." I called out and he stopped by the elevator. "I forgot to give this back to you." I said when I caught up to him.

"Thank you." He smiled and I saw his eyes flicker behind me before he took the flask from me and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. "Are you going to be OK?" He asked.

"I'll be fine." I tried to give him my best smile so he wouldn't worry, but I honestly had no idea what my mother would do when I went back to the hotel suite.

"You sure?"

"Mmhmm. I'll text you." I said, pushing him towards the opening elevator doors.

"I'll be waiting." He said and the doors closed slowly over his worried face. I stood there for a long minute watching the numbers go down as I worked up the courage to walk back to my room.

I flexed my hands as I stepped through the door, but my mother wasn't waiting for me. Instead I found her in the kitchen, unpacking the groceries she'd bought to restock the fridge. I hovered by the table, sweating and anxious, but she didn't say anything. When she started pulling out pots to make supper, I snapped.

"Okaasan." I blurted. She stayed quiet. "Okaasan..."

"Can you get the oyster sauce for me?" She asked. "It's in the - "

"Ha - hahaoya..." I stuttered as I started to choke and she froze with her hand on the stove's dial. I hadn't called her that in years. "Please just say something..." I whispered and she pursed her lips before she turned to face me properly.

"Yuzuru..." She started and my shoulders tensed painfully. "Did you think I didn't know? I've known you were ...gay for a long time now." I had to commend her for not stumbling over that word like I would have. But ...what?

"What?"

"I know you think...that I don't notice things." She smiled gently. "But I know you, better than anyone." She reached out with both her hands and cupped my warming cheeks. "I know when my baby falls in love with something he wants."

"I don't..." I stammered. It was hard to breathe.

"Is this really why you wanted to come to Canada to train?" She asked. "Did you want to be with him?" I shook my head carefully. Honestly, my decision to move to Canada had had everything to do with Javi, but not for this. He really was one of the best skaters in the world right now. Someone who I could compete with who kept me on my toes and the rush of it was intoxicating. I was drawn to it. Drawn to him. All I had wanted to do was skate with him. Now it was just...more.

"OK." My mother said simply and pinched my cheeks. "OK, I will try to believe you."

"Okaasan." I whined softly and she giggled.

"What happened to Hahaoya?" She squashed my cheeks again. "So cute. You looked like you were going to cry." For some reason that made the tears spring back in my eyes and she started to blur. "Oh, Yuzu..." I melted into her embrace when she pulled me into a hug and I held on tightly.

"I still don't like that boy though." She said after a while and I laughed out loud.

"Are you ready, Mr Hanyu?" The photographer asked me when I came out of the dressing room and I gave her a thumbs up. I had been photographed by Miss Ming Lee before so I wasn't particularly nervous. "If you could just stand on the X for me so I can do some test shots."

"Hai." I jumped on the spot and tried to smile naturally. How would Javi smile? He would probably do that half smirk that made the tiniest dimple on the side of his cheek pop and do something silly with his eyebrows just to make the photographer laugh and -

"What a smile." Ming Lee said from behind the camera. "What are you thinking about? Gold medals?" I laughed awkwardly.

"Not quite."

Photo shoots like these were mostly boring but it made my sponsors happy so I was used to grinning and bearing it; but this time it allowed me a few moments I didn't usually have to lie around and think about things I hadn't had time to think about in the last couple of days.

Like how the clothes I'd worn to Javi's party still smelled like his house and I'd stood by the washing machine for 10 minutes deciding if I should wash them or not. God, he smelled so good that practice this morning had been a hard lesson in restraint. That, and he'd kept sending me looks that made me glad that it was cold at the ice rink. There had been enough heat in his eyes to make my knees melt and I'd stumbled more than I'd like during my jumps.

"There's something different about you." Ming Lee said when she called me over to look at her shots.

"There is?" I blinked at her.

"Yeah." She peeked at me under her waterfall of half white, half purple hair. "Your eyes aren't the same anymore. You've gotten older." She smirked. "Or sexier." I snorted loudly and waved at the air.

"Can you show me the photos? I have to get back to practice?" I spluttered.

Javier:

Because it was getting so close to the new competition season, Coach Brian had added a few more hours to our practice sessions and I was dying.

"Show me the jump, Javi."

"I don't want to." I grumbled. Coach Brian sighed heavily and folded his arms over his chest.

"How will I know how solid it is and if we can add it to your program, if you don't show me?" He said.

"I'll save you the trouble and tell you no." I said fiercely.

"Javi."

"No." I argued firmly. "I'm telling you right now that I can't do a quad toe loop."

"Why?" I heard behind me and there was already a smile on my face when I spun around and saw Yuzu put his bags down and grab his skates.

"Because it's insane." I muttered, leaning over the rail to watch him.

"It's not insane. It's perfectly sane. You can do quads. I've seen it." He mumbled as he tugged on his laces.

"Yeah..." I breathed. It had been a while since I'd landed one well enough though and it was starting to grate on me. I was getting old. Just thinking about the work involved in nailing quads was making me dizzy.

"So it's not insane." He said plainly and poked me in the side as he jumped on the ice. "Come on. I'll show you."

"Oh God." I huffed and waited on the sidelines as Yuzu did a few laps around the ice to warm up and then flew like he always did, twirling in the air so fast it was hard to count out 4 repetitions before he landed on one foot, his other leg straight enough to make even Mistress Ekaterina happy. It was like looking at a textbook.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that." I chuckled when he skated back to me.

"Come on, it will be fun."

"I'm gonna fall."

"We always fall."

"I'm tired."

"So am I." He looked at me with big brown sparkly eyes. "Someone wouldn't stop texting me last night." I scoffed at that and shook out my feet to loosen my ankles. I had been a ball of nerves, worried about what might happen to Yuzu with his mother. I knew that she didn't like me much and I had no idea if she knew her son was gay or not but I'd still worried. After he'd texted me he was OK and that it hadn't been so bad, I'd wanted to keep talking to him all night. I loved talking to Yuzu. He made me laugh.

"What an asshole." I said belatedly. "You should have told him to stop."

"I did." He gave me a sassy look over his shoulder. "He didn't listen to me."

"Maybe he just missed you." I said softly when I got close enough to him that Coach Brian wouldn't hear. His already pink cheeks flushed deeper and I ruffled his hair playfully. "Come on. Show me again, dumpling."

Coach was trying to kill us. I was convinced. My whole body hurt and I could hear little pops in my joints when I rolled my neck. This was it. I'd reached my limit. Even Yuzu, who was usually immune to the damaging effects of a hardcore practice session was sitting on one of the benches with ice packs wrapped around his ankles. I knew he was worried about his quad Salchow so he must have been running through them like a beast.

"No." I heard him say when I got closer.

"They could be nice. You don't know until you try." Coach Brian said.

"The media is never nice." Yuzu muttered and removed the ice packs from his ankles, massaging them gently.

"What's up?" I asked as I set my bag down and handed Yuzu his hot chocolate. He smiled at me gratefully and I hid my smile by taking a sip of coffee as Coach Brian spoke.

"You remember the reporters from before?"

"The camera vultures?" I mumbled. "What about them?"

"A few of them are offering us a nice chunk of change to have a chance to film you two practice together." I saw Yuzu roll his eyes beside me.

"They want to film us ...skating?"

"I told you. Two rivals training together...you guys don't seem to be having a huge blowout and butting heads, so everyone is curious. What do two of the best look like training together and why are they not killing each other."

"Because we're ...I don't know, professional? Is it really that hard to separate your work from your personal feelings?" I mumbled.

"For most people, yes." Coach replied and looked at the both of us. "I'll leave it with you two. Let me know what you decide, OK? The offer isn't indefinite though. Remember that."

"You don't want them in here?" I asked as soon as Coach Brian left.

"No."

"You think its like, a media trap."

"Nothing ever good comes from reporters like them." He huffed. "You saw how they were acting outside. What about inside with no one to see them?" I grimaced at that and scratched at my chin.

"Yeah, they were kind of crazy."

"They just want a story. It doesn't even matter if we show them that we get along. They'd edit it and make us look like we hate each other. It would sell better." I sidled up closer to him and squeezed his arm gently.

"If you think it would be a bad idea, then we shouldn't."

"What do you think?" He asked me quietly. I shrugged.

"I don't know, I don't really mind either way."

"You don't mind? Not even after... what happened with that reporter at Worlds?" He looked at me incredulously and I sighed softly. Of course he would bring that up.

"She didn't necessarily twist my words. Everyone else did."

"But what ..." The words stuck in his throat and I knew what he wanted to ask me.

"How about we have lunch later and we can talk about it. OK?" I whispered.

"OK." He agreed after a long pause.

"Are your feet alright? Can you skate?" I asked when he moved to put his skates on again.

"I can always skate." He grinned at me happily.

Chapter Text

Javier:

"You ready?" I started the car and Yuzu gave me a thumbs up as he sucked down a bottle of water. His Adam's apple was bobbing up and down in his throat and the movement was fascinating for some reason. It looked far too sexy for what he was doing...my eyes traveled up the side of his neck and when a droplet of water slid out the corner of his mouth, I had to bite my lip to keep from jumping out of my seat and leaning over to catch it with my tongue.

"Javi?" He asked, startling me out of my trance.

"Yeah, let's go." I coughed lightly and pulled out of the parking lot.

Lunch was quiet because we were STARVING and both of us weren't willing to put down our food long enough to have any sort of conversation.

"Wait." Yuzu said when I took out my wallet. "You can't keep paying for lunch." He took out his own black sleek looking wallet and snatched the bill from me.

"I invited you." I said but he made a face and shoved some notes in the folder before handing it back to the waiter. "You don't have to."

"Too late." He smiled at me and I kicked his foot playfully under the table. He kicked me back and giggled when my foot shot out again, dodging to the side. "Stop it." The waiter came back with the change and I fiddled with the salt shaker in front of me. We didn't really get to talk...

"You want to come back to my place?" I asked carefully. "To talk." It really would be better if we were somewhere private anyway, for this conversation.

"Your place?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah." I mumbled softly. Did he not want to come back to my place?

"OK..." He replied a few seconds later. "We can go to your place."

"Let me take that." I said when Yuzu tried to put his bag down by the front door. It felt like he was putting it there so he could escape easily later. There was no way I was going to let that happen. I left him alone in my living room while I tucked his bag away by the corner of my bed and I found him by the mantle, peering at the photos there intently.

"That's my sister. Laura." I said when I joined him. "But you probably already knew that."

"She's very pretty." He said simply and I ruffled his hair.

"She's too old for you."

"She's not my type." He answered with a smirk.

"Ah." I nodded and led him over to the couch. "What is your type then?"

"Tall..."

"Mmm."

"Handsome..."

"Mmhmm."

"Has to skate." He said fervently and leaned over until his head fell in my lap and I carded my fingers through his dark hair lightly.

"Of course."

"Quiet."

"Quiet?" I blinked and he tilted his head to look up at me.

"I like being alone. I don't think I could be with someone who doesn't understand that." I guess that made sense in some weird way. If that was the case though...

"I can be quiet." I shrugged and he laughed out loud.

"Never. I don't believe it."

"I can! Besides..." I snorted and bopped him on the nose. "Who told you you were quiet. The last time you were here, you were pretty loud too." I wriggled my eyebrow at him and his eyes widened comically, his hand covering to his mouth as his cheeks went pink.

"I ... I didn't ...I can't ...why would..." He stammered and smacked me with the back of his other hand. "Don't say things like that."

"I'm just saying." I chuckled and he huffed indignantly. "What else?"

"What else?" He looked at me carefully while worrying his lip for a moment. "There is nothing else. But..."

"But?"

"I mean...I have to ask. Because of what you said." I nodded slowly as my hands went back to playing with his hair gently.

"What I said at Worlds..." He was quiet as I searched for the right words in my head to explain myself. "We were heading to Sochi, right? The reporter who was interviewing me, she was asking me all sorts of questions about the Olympics and stuff. I barely even remember now...I think she made a comment about my costumes, about how masculine they were and if that might change for the Olympics. If I wanted something flashy..." I let out a strong puff.

"I told her I wasn't nearly gay enough to pull off sequins and rhinestones. And it was stupid, it was so so stupid but I was thinking about Coach Brian at the time when I said it. Everyone and their mother knows about how most of Russia feels about gay people. I just said they should be careful because...fuck man, you know what they did to Coach, right? They outed him right before his big final and it was just...crazy. He couldn't focus. He left with a silver medal. I didn't want shit like that happening for anyone else, you know?

"The Olympics is like...the pinnacle of any athletes career. You work your ass off...sacrifice your entire world...4 years of your life for one chance to get that gold and something stupid like that throws you off and you lose your shot? It had to be devastating for him. Coach never talks about it, but I've watched all his videos. I've never ever seen him look that defeated before. And it was all so fucking pointless. Just because everyone cared who he slept with. I just wanted people to be careful..."

Yuzuru:

Hearing Javi explain it from his perspective made the weight that had been sitting on my shoulders lift a little. We were both too young when Coach had been skating, but we'd heard the story. I'd seen it when I'd been doing my research on Javi and his new coach that had shaped him into a world champion in 3 months.

Outing someone when they weren't ready was terrifying. I remembered how the weight of what I was feeling would suffocate me sometimes to the point where it felt like I was going to die. It was insane, how much better I felt now knowing that I didn't have to hide that side of myself from my mother. But there were thousands who weren't as lucky as me. Who had worse parents with worse responses... I couldn't imagine how it had felt for someone to tell the entire WORLD that you were gay.

It still blew my mind that people, people who didn't even know you, felt like they had a right to know every tiny detail about your personal life. I understood being a celebrity... It was nice to have fans and to have people who loved and supported you, but then there were the reporters who were blood thirsty and hungry for anything that would damage you...because the world wanted to know the people they loved were human too.

The same was true for Javi. The papers the next day and for the weeks during Worlds and the weeks leading up to the Olympics had been brutal, lashing into him about his comment and why a homophobe was being allowed to represent his country, why he was allowed to wave their flag...

"That is exactly why I don't want any reporters at the rink." I answered him belatedly. "They'll be there all day, taking photos and videos and twisting my words...our words. They only want to see us hate each other so they'll make it look like that, I know it." I finished fiercely.

"They really aren't ALL that bad. And I told you, she never took anything I said and twisted my words. I said what I said. It was everyone else who took it differently." He sighed heavily and dropped his hand on my cheek. "I think you should give them a chance."

"Javi..."

"They don't have to be there all day, OK? You can tell them how long and that's it. They go. We have to focus for the new season, right? We have the Skate Canada Autumn classic and I have the European Championships coming up soon. Of course we wouldn't want to competition to see too much." I pursed my lips while I looked up at him, but his face was open and I think if I really pushed harder, he would agree not to have any reporters at the rink...but maybe he was right. Sometimes it was better to throw them a bone than to wait for them to take a leg.

"I'll think about it." I muttered and he gave me a small smile.

"OK. Don't worry about it too much though. If you think it will be bad, then I'll back you with Coach Brian." He said, proving me right. He was really too nice... and yet...

I sat up from his lap and knelt next to him on the couch, looking down at my hands.

"Javi..." I started.

"What is it?" He said, reaching out and brushing his thumb lightly over my cheek. I hadn't even noticed that there was hair over my eye until he moved it. My heart squeezed in my chest and I was suddenly flooded with nerves. I had to ask though.

"In all your interviews after that...article... in all of them you always said that you were...straight." The gay friendliest straight person ever, Coach Brian had said in an interview once.

"I know."

"But..." I breathed and waved my hands around to motion between the two of us. "What is this then? Is this just you being..." I didn't even know. Was he just curious? Had he lied? "Are you gay?"

"No." He said seriously and my chest squeezed even tighter. "I don't think I'm gay. I don't think I could look at another man like I look at you." He whispered and cupped his warm hand over my cheek, making me look up at him. "I think you're beautiful. I don't know if that makes me gay, but I just...like you." I gasped with something akin to relief and sank into his embrace when he spread his legs and dragged me against him.

"I like you too." I muttered into his shirt.

"Really?"

"Mmm." I hummed.

"Does that mean you think I'm handsome?" He asked.

"Baka..." I whispered. "You already know I think you're handsome."

"Do I?" He laughed and I lifted my head to glare at him.

"Do you think I would sleep with you if I didn't think you were attractive?" I said it in Japanese because I was flustered and English was escaping me right now. He blinked at me twice before his nose wrinkled when he smiled and gripped my chin hard, dragging my face closer to his.

"Oh my God, you're so cute. Say that again."

"No." He snorted and leaned forward to kiss my lips briefly.

"Eres muy amable." He said softly.

"Wakarimasen." I frowned at him.

"No te entiendo."

"Huh?"

"So cute." He mumbled and touched his lips on mine again. The kiss wasn't brief this time. By the time he probed my lips with his tongue, I was already tingling with want and burning with anticipation. I moaned into his mouth when his hands slid around my waist and curled around my hips, pressing me even closer to him and his heat. I could feel the length of him through his pants and my own cock throbbed and thickened and fuck...

"You are so soft..." He said when he let go of my lips, his hands dipping inside the back of my pants and caressing my skin roughly.

"Javi..." I groaned and he hissed when I started to rock my hips gently against him. This was different from before, not quite as hurried and definitely more intense now that I was much more sober.

"Can you stay?" He whispered.

"What?" I murmured, distracted by the hands that were now working their way deeper inside my pants and clawing at my skin harder.

"Can you stay? Tonight." He panted and I closed my eyes when his teeth grazed along the side of my neck. It sent a bolt of pleasure straight down the length of my spine and I couldn't help but arch into him. Even if it makes my mother mad again...there was no way I wasn't going to stay over tonight.

"Yeah..." I gasped and as soon as the word left my lips, I was on my back.

"Good." Javi grinned at me. And then he pounced.

Chapter Text

Javier:

For the first time in a long time, I woke up before my alarm rang. It was slow; like I was thawing after a long cold winter. By the time my eyelids fluttered open, my brain was semi-awake as well. Full bodily function would only happen once coffee was in my system.

I was surprised to see that Yuzu was still in the bed with me. He'd said he could stay last night but I guess I had expected him to leave early in the morning like he had last time... I was glad he hadn't. The sun wasn't quite up yet, but there was enough light in the room for me to take in his features while he slept. I had never seen his hair this messy before; and I never knew that when he closed his eyes, the skin on his lids were just the smallest hint of purple. His arm was under his cheek, squashing it flat and making his pretty little mouth warp into something of an S. I said it all the time, but he really was just the cutest thing I had ever seen.

I debated whether or not I should wake him for a second, but I knew we had to get to practice sooner rather than later so I gave in to the urge to touch him, surging forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. They were warm and soft and he stirred briefly in his sleep.

"Yuzu..." I whispered against his lips. He shifted again and when my lips found their way down to his neck, he moaned softly.

"Javi?"

"We need to get up."

"No..." He whined and I chuckled as he sank deeper into the blankets.

"Up. If you shower first, I'll make you breakfast."

"Breakfast?" One of his beautiful brown eyes opened so he could peek at me. "Do you know how much sugar you put in my hot chocolate? Now you want to make me breakfast? Are you trying to kill me?"

"As tempting as that is..." I brushed my nose along the length of his jaw. "No, I'm not trying to kill you." I sat back and regarded him seriously. "Do you want me to stop making you hot chocolate?"

"Don't you dare." He muttered darkly and pushed his way out of the sheets, stumbling towards the bathroom. I let myself admire him in his naked glory until he shut the door, then groaned as I got up too. Hmm... I guess it was too close to competition time for me to be slacking off as much as I was. I couldn't deny that I definitely had more energy to give when I followed the diet Coach had laid out for me.

By the time Yuzu was out of the shower and dressed in some of my spare workout clothes, I had breakfast ready and on the table. His eyebrows shot up when I slid the dish in front of him when he sat down.

"This looks healthy."

"It is healthy." I smacked the back of his head and grabbed my own dish, sliding in the stool next to his. "Eat fast. We have about 10 minutes." Yuzu contemplated the plate in front of him for a while before he picked up his fork and took a bite.

"It's good."

"Eat."

"I didn't know you could cook."

"I live alone. I kind of have to." I nodded at his plate. "Eat."

"Who taught you how to cook?"

"Ay Dios mio..." I snickered. "My mother taught me how to cook." I waited for him to say something else but he put his head down and continued eating quietly. I rinsed the plates when we were done and stacked them in the dishwasher before starting to brew some coffee for myself and making Yuzu his hot chocolate. He watched me with his head resting on his hands, snorting softly when he saw just how much sugar I actually did put in it.

"Sabotaging me won't get you a gold medal." He muttered.

"If all it takes is a little sugar to make you lose, do you really deserve that gold medal?"

"Even on my worst day, I can still beat you." He sat up straight and folded his arms haughtily.

"You save all your difficult jumps for the second half of your programs." I scoffed, screwing the lid on the flask tightly. "Don't act like nobody knows that."

"There's still GoE to take into account. Of course if I can land high quality jumps in the second half of my program when its more difficult, I should be rewarded for my effort." I rolled my eyes at him and handed him his flask.

"Whatever. It's still cheating."

"It's not cheating if it isn't against the rules." He argued and grabbed my arm when I tried to walk around him. "Javi."

"Hmm?" I let him drag me closer, standing in the space between his legs.

"Thank you for making me breakfast." He whispered softly and it was hard to ignore the rush of satisfaction that flooded my veins. I dropped my head to touch my forehead to his and breathed in his smell. It was hard to find under my shower gel and shampoo, but it was there.

"You're welcome."

"And for the hot chocolate." He added, tilting his head back and kissing my cheek lightly.

"Always." I replied and curled my hand around his neck so I could give him a proper kiss. It was slow and he tasted delicious...addictive.

"We're going to be late." He gasped when I finally let him pull back.

Yuzuru:

It took me a few days to figure out exactly how I was feeling. It took a while for it to truly sink in. I was...happy.

I guess it might sound strange to say that I didn't know what happiness felt like. I knew what it felt like when I was skating, and when I was with my family...but this was... a different kind of happy. The breathlessness, the knots in my stomach, the buzz I could feel on my skin when we were in the same room. I felt like I was floating. It was the most uncomfortable amazing feeling I'd ever experienced in my life.

"Yes!" Javi shouted across the ice. He'd been going through his short program over and over again and finally gotten through it without any mistakes. I clapped my hands from my side of the ice and he blew me a kiss.

"Nice. Not so sloppy anymore."

"Whatever. We'll see what the judges think in a couple of weeks." He grunted and skidded to a stop by my side. "Now you." I yelped when his hand swatted my butt and gave him a look over my shoulder while I skated to position.

I closed my eyes and when the music started, I let it move through me. It was a soft piece of music and usually it was difficult for me to focus enough to make my movements flow together elegantly; as Mistress Ekaterina would say,

"Don't let me see the effort, dear. I want to see you float."

But it WAS effortless today. There was that little bit of happiness inside of me that was carrying me through the piece and making my fly over the ice even better than before.

It was almost a surprise when the music ended. I wanted to go on for longer. Fly for longer...

"You know...there's no need to show off like that when it's just you and me." Came from behind me. I smirked when Javi snuck his arms around my waist.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a bad liar." He mumbled in my ear and I giggled when he kissed my neck gently. "Are you coming back to my place today?"

"I have to be a good son and go home today." I replied and skated out of his arms. Javi made a face and dragged both hands through his curls.

"You don't HAVE to." He pouted.

"Yes, I do." I chuckled and hopped off the ice, hobbling to the bench and sitting down with groan so I could take off my skates.

"Tomorrow?"

"My sister is flying in from Japan tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Yep." I huffed as I finally managed to get my sweaty skates off. "Which is why I have to go home today. Okaasan will be a mess getting things ready."

"By things, you mean food." He asked, leaning over the rinks railing.

"Of course. Sana doesn't have my diet restrictions. My mother goes crazy."

"You don't talk about your sister much." Javi said quietly and I paused after zipping up my gym bag.

"I guess I don't."

"Are you two not ...close?"

"No, we... It's just..." I waved my hands in the air at the rink. "Skating has been my whole life since I was a child. I spend so much time on the ice that I hardly see my family." Javi nodded because he knew what I was talking about. "That's why my mother goes everywhere with me. She says if she doesn't she would never see me."

"I get that."

"So no, I don't talk about my sister. Mostly because in a way, I feel like I don't really know her. I don't get to sit down and talk with her and share how I'm feeling with her... ask her how she's feeling as well. We don't see each other often enough for that."

"You don't call?" He asked and I moved to stand in front of him by the rail.

"She has her own life, like I have mine. We're both very busy." My throat grew tight with emotion and I coughed to clear it. It sounded like a weak excuse. Who didn't make time to talk to their own family? It just felt painfully awkward sometimes and it felt better to keep pushing it aside for another day but the chasm was growing wider every day.

"I see." Javi said and I hooked my arms around his neck. He smiled at me and planted a quick kiss on my cheek. "I'll see you at practice then."

"Mmhmm." I hummed and fiddled with his collar. "I've been thinking about it..."

"About what?"

"About what you said about the reporters." I said. "I've been thinking about it, and I think it would be OK if they came to watch." His one eyebrow went up and I held up my hands. "Just for a little bit."

"What made you change your mind?"

"I think you're right that they'll disappear for a while if we give them a little something." I sighed. "So we'll give them something and hopefully we won't have to deal with them again until the Autumn International."

"That sounds good." He agreed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He grinned happily and ruffled my hair. "I'll talk to Coach."

Chapter Text

Javier:

"What happened? Did you finally remember you have phone?"

"Laura..." I chuckled into the phone and settled deeper into the couch. "Is that how you greet your baby brother?"

"Baby brother, my foot." She sniffed on the other end and there was some rustling before she sighed. "So what's up? You don't usually call me." That in part was the reason why I had called in the first place. I considered myself pretty close with my sister, but after hearing Yuzu talk about his awkward relationship with his sister, I had felt a tiny spike of guilt. There were too many times in the past when I'd flaked calling back home using being busy as an excuse.

"Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you."

"O...K." She said slowly. "Talk about what?" I scoffed out loud and scratched at the stubble on my chin.

"How's work going?"

"Work is work." She grumbled. "We have evaluation exams soon and Maria is killing me with her late night revision sessions."

I listened to her complain about nursing things for a while, interjecting when necessary and laughing at some of the simple mistakes she'd been embarrassed about making.

"Javier."

"Hmm?"

"Why did you really call me?" My sister said quietly and I laughed somewhat sheepishly.

"I just wanted to talk. Really." It was silent for a while.

"Is something wrong?" She asked tentatively. "I feel like you've been a bit off for a while now. I don't know how to explain it. Just..."

"No." I answered honestly. "No, everything is great."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmm. I've been having fun getting ready for the new season. Working with Yuzu." I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face. "It's not even 'working with'...I feel like I learn something new about skating from him every day. It's insane. It's like literally having a textbook on skating come to life. He's more textbook than the textbook."

"I wish I could watch him skate again. If I could take time off work, I'd be down there in a second." She pouted and I frowned slightly.

"You'd take time off to see Yuzu, but you won't take time off to come see me?"

"You said you were coming home in a couple of months anyway." She said blankly. "When will I get a chance to see THE Yuzuru Hanyu again." I wiggled in my seat uncomfortably. The way my sister kept going on and on about him...

"You don't have a crush on him, do you?"

"Dios mio, who doesn't have a crush on him?" She breathed and my spine stiffened considerably.

"He's younger than me." I said, trying not to sound like I was irritated.

"Age means very little these days, little brother." She said drolly and I gripped the phone tighter.

"Well, it was nice chatting to you, Sis. I have to go to the gym now." I said quickly and hung up before she said something stupid that made me say something stupid too. Ridiculous. Yuzu didn't even ...I huffed unhappily and punched the cushion near my elbow.

"Coach." I sat down across from him and he held up a finger.

"Sure. I'll let you know my schedule, yeah? Mmhmm. I miss you too. Bye." I sucked on my teeth when he hung up and placed his phone on the table top.

"Who was that?" I asked. I had been a bit distracted with Yuzu lately, but I didn't remember him saying he was seeing anyone new.

"That was a friend of mine called None Of Your Business." He smiled at me as he took a sip of his coke. I smirked at him and picked up the menu.

"Remind me who was it that said working together makes everything we do each others business?"

"I don't have to tell you about my love life." He said serenely as he opened his own menu. "Especially since you haven't told me that you slept with Yuzuru." My breath caught in my throat and a wave of surprise made my cheeks flush hotly.

"What?"

"You two are the worst liars in the world." He said with a laugh. "And if it wasn't already written over your faces, this afternoon made it pretty obvious."

"What?" I said again. I was still a little shocked that Coach had guessed something was going on between us.

"Your little make out session in the music booth before you went home." He raised his eyebrow at me. "I came back to look for competition review tapes."

"You did?" I muttered. "We didn't hear you..." I'd been a little miffed that I wouldn't be able to wake up with Yuzu by my side tomorrow morning and cornered him in the music booth...

"I'm not surprised." He grinned and we paused our conversation to order when the waitress came over to our table.

"Coach...Yuzu and I - "

"You know what I'm going to say, right?" He interrupted me.

"Coach."

"Stupid. Stupid and dangerous. For professional athletes in any sport to be involved with ANYONE new is like shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to focus and discipline. Very few people have the emotional stability to keep their head screwed on straight to stay on track." He hissed at me and I swallowed hard at the look in his eyes. However a second later they softened and he was sighing as he sat back in his chair.

"That's what I should be saying to you. To both of you. And yet, I can't."

"I don't understand." I didn't understand anything that was happening right now...

"It hasn't been hard to see you've hit your wall, Javi." He said carefully as he picked at the napkin on the table. He wasn't looking at me, but it was like he was poking at a hole in my chest. I should have known better. I always said Coach Brian was like a substitute father to me. Of course he would know me better than anyone. "Once you hit your wall...there's very little I can do to help you get over it. It's all on you, Kid. You gotta push through it yourself."

"I've been trying..." I mumbled.

"I know you have. I've seen it. I've also seen how you change once you hit the ice with Yuzu. How you both change." He said seriously. "Both of you have been improving so much lately. I can't pin it down to me changing anything. The only thing that's changed is your connection. To the ice... and with each other. You're better because of him, and he's better because of you." It felt like my lungs were pressing hard against my ribs and I had to work to remember to breathe. It felt exactly like that. That's what I had been trying to explain to my sister. It didn't feel like work training with Yuzu.

"So you see." He leaned forward again, resting his elbows on the table. "I can't say that to you. It wouldn't be true, not with you two." I couldn't help wringing my hands though.

"What if they're right, though? What if it is stupid?" He'd said it himself the other day. I wasn't gay. At the time I hadn't thought much about it, but he had a right to be concerned, didn't he? That my feelings might disappear as suddenly as they appeared. They didn't feel like they would, but no one could guarantee shit like that, right?

"Will it change how you feel about him right now?" He asked. I thought about it gravely for a minute. Even if what we were doing was stupid, messing around when both of our careers we'd spent essentially our entire lives building was at stake...would it change how I felt about seeing those big brown eyes look at me like they had in my kitchen the other morning?

"No..."

"Look, Javi. Life is complicated. But it's also very simple. Yeah?" He stared at me earnestly. "Be you, and make the most of it."

"That sounds like anything but simple."

"That's because you care what people think." He replied. "I know you act like you don't, but you do." I gave him a look. "It's not necessarily a bad thing." Speaking of caring what people thought...

"I didn't invite you here to talk about that." I said.

"Why did you invite me to dinner?" He asked.

"To tell you that Yuzu agreed to let the reporters inside the rink for a bit." I explained as our food arrived. His mouth fell open.

"He did? I thought he hated the ideas of cameras at the rink." I shrugged and picked at my salad.

"He changed his mind." I shoved a few crispy dressingless leaves in my mouth. When I looked up Coach was looking at me with an unreadable expression on his face. "What?"

"Nothing." He held up his hands.

We ate in silence and when it was time to leave, Coach insisted on paying the bill.

"Watching you eat that salad was pitiful." He said shaking his head. "At least let me reward you for being healthy for once."

"Thanks Coach." He squeezed my shoulder as we stepped out into the night. I was turning away to head to my car when he stopped me.

"Javi?"

"Yeah?" I tossed the keys in my hand.

"For the record...I don't think it's stupid." He said simply. I watched his back as he walked off down the street.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"So they'll be here a little before noon. Is that OK with you two?" Coach Brian asked as Javi and I warmed up on the ice.

"Yeah."

"Mmhmm."

"We can start with the interview and then they asked if it was alright to film you on the ice for a bit." He continued.

"Sure." Javi nodded but I huffed in annoyance.

"How long is a bit?"

"Not long. An hour, maybe." I skidded to a stop.

"An hour?!" I gasped. "No."

"Yuzu." Javi chuckled as he paused next to me.

"Javi." I said in the same tone. "An hour is too long." I argued.

"Half an hour?" He offered.

"15 minutes." I countered and folded my arms over my chest. He snorted out loud and poked one of my cheeks gently.

"Are you worried people are going to find out your nickname is Dumpling?" He said just quiet enough for me to hear. I could feel my eye twitching minutely.

"10." I said loudly, facing Coach Brian again. "10 minutes. That's my final offer."

"Yuzuru..." He looked a little frustrated but I wasn't going to be dissuaded by sulky faces.

"Can we start practice already?" I grumbled and kicked off, doing laps down the length of the ice to calm the thumping in my head.

"Yuzu." Javi said from behind me but I ignored him. "Yuzu." He tried again. "Hey. Sumimasen." He said louder and I almost tripped over my feet.

"What ..." I stared at him in surprise.

"What?" He looked a little embarrassed. "I thought I'd learn a few things." He muttered and sighed as he stopped beside me again. "Yuzu...If you really don't want to do this, you don't have to, you know. We'd all understand." He looked at me sincerely as he moved to hold my hand. I jerked it back quickly and motioned with my eyes that we were essentially out in public and he should behave.

"It's OK. Coach Brian knows. He won't say anything." He said, like it was completely normal.

"What?" I hissed at him and tried desperately not to feel a little betrayed. "You told him?"

"No." He shook his head. "He ...might have... seen us yesterday." He scratched the back of his neck. "I'm sorry. I should have texted you when I found out. It completely slipped my mind. Are you mad?" Was I mad? A little...I had always been and always would be a very private person...So the fact that someone knew my business when I hadn't told them myself grated on my nerves like you wouldn't believe...

I wasn't that mad though. Coach Brian had already proved to be more accepting than most coaches I knew in the business. Was it because he was gay too? Whatever the reason... if there was one other person I would have trusted to tell my secret, it would have been him anyway. Even in the short time I've known him, he's grown very much to being close to a father figure just like Javi had said once.

"I'm not mad." I whispered to Javi. "But you still shouldn't do things like that in public." He grinned at me and slid closer to whisper in my ear.

"I can't help it. You're so cute when you pout."

"I wasn't pouting." I huffed indignantly.

"Right." He chuckled and skated off towards Coach Ghislain who had just walked into the rink.

"Ready?" Javi asked me as he hopped down the stairs, car keys jingling in his hand.

"Yeah." I ambled tiredly behind him and smiled when he opened the car door for me. "Thank you." I stifled a yawn behind my hand and settled into the seat.

"Tired?"

"Always." I grumbled and because we were in the car, I let his hand rest on my knee as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"You don't want to come over to my apartment for a while?" He asked and I smacked his hand. "To sleep." He laughed. "I'm sure it will be hard to crash if your sister is coming.

"Tempting." I replied. "But I think it would be less of a headache just to go home. My mother would be on my case about not being there to help her cook."

"Mmm." Javi hummed and squeezed my knee with his hand before he let go so he could drive properly.

I must have dozed off because the next moment we were at my hotel already and Javi was shaking me awake.

"Come on, Sleeping Beauty." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the car. I reached for my gym bag but Javi got to it before me and swung it onto his shoulder. "Let's go." I trudged after him half asleep, walking like a zombie into the elevator and shuffling out again when we got to my floor.

"Okaasan." I greeted her with a slow nod when she opened the door for me.

"Yuzu, can you help me peel the - Oh." The words in her mouth dried when she saw Javi standing behind me.

"Hello, Mrs Hanyu." Javi said politely and my mother fixed me with a sharp stare.

"Hello." She answered him and I tugged him into the room by his shirt.

"He was just giving me a ride home, Okaasan." I told her in Japanese. "Come on. You can put this in my room." I whispered to Javi and he trailed after me hesitantly. Now that I was back in my hotel room, my body was starting to shut down and I was moving almost on auto-pilot. "There." I pointed to the corner of the room and collapsed on the bed in a heap.

"Just here?" I wanted to nod, but that was going to take too much energy. "Yuzu?" I felt the bed dip and my eyes fell closed when he brushed my hair aside and pressed a kiss on my cheek. "OK. I'll let you sleep." Thank God, I sighed to myself. "Sweet dreams." I heard him whisper before I sank into nothingness.

I don't know how many hours I'd been asleep when I woke up later. I rolled over in my bed, yawning and rubbing at my eyes. It wasn't quite dark outside, but it most definitely wasn't afternoon anymore.

I dragged myself out of bed and ventured into the bathroom so I could wash up before supper. I wonder what we were going to eat tod -

I froze at the end of the hallway and blinked. I blinked again just to make sure my eyes were really open and I wasn't still asleep. Then I rubbed my eyes again and shook my head to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

There, in the middle of the kitchen, bent over one of my mother's ancient looking pots... was Javi.

"Is it OK?" My mother asked in halting English.

"It still needs a few minutes. We can check it again after the chicken." He answered her and when he straightened, his eyes found me pretty quickly. "Yuzu. You're awake."

"I am." I murmured and drifted closer to them. "You're still here." I said to him softly. It was intended mostly as an observation, but sounded a little like a question too. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from shivering when Javi slid his arm around my waist and pulled me close.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked me quietly.

"Yeah." I chanced a glance at my mother but she had her nose buried in another one of her pots. What was going on here? I tried to ask as much with my eyes but Javi just smiled at me calmly.

"Yuzu, can you please set the table? Your sister called and said she'd be here in time for supper so we'll need 4 place settings."

"4?" I slipped out of Javi's hold and moved to grab some plates. "Is Javi staying?"

"Of course he is." My mother looked up from her pot to stare at me like I was stupid. I pursed my lips but didn't argue in case she was going to change her mind. Javi followed me out to the dining room table and I nudged him with my shoulder.

"Hey. Did you replace my mother with a clone while I was asleep?"

"What? No." He chuckled and leaned against the table while I got it ready.

"My mother...doesn't like you." I frowned while I looked for some glasses. "And now she's smiling at you."

"Jealous?" He smirked and I smacked him with the back of my hand as I passed him.

"Why would I be jealous of my own mother?" I huffed. "I was just asking. Why the sudden change?"

"Well." He started. "I was going to leave but I saw your mom was cooking and I offered to help."

"You did?" He shrugged and shifted when I moved to put some cutlery on the table near where he was leaning.

"I know most mothers love 2 things." He said sagely. "Their babies. And feeding their babies." I laughed out loud at that.

"I see."

"And I remember you said your sister was coming to visit. No diet restrictions tonight."

"Oh God." I sighed. "What did you do?"

"I just gave her a recipe." He protested.

"Am I going to need to spend all of next week in the gym?" I asked and I stilled when his hand drifted lightly down the length of my back.

"One meal is not going to do any damage." He said softly.

"I'm already gaining weight from drinking your sugar filled concoction every morning." I muttered. "At this rate I won't even fit in my costume before the season - "

"You have the most beautiful curves." He whispered in my ear, leaning close and brushing his nose against my cheek. "Every time I look at your waist, I want to touch you. I want to ..." He breathed in deep and I did shiver this time when his lips grazed over the skin of my neck.

"You want to what?" I asked, but before he could answer me, the hotel's phone rang, breaking the tension in the room. It was probably good it was the phone and not my mother. It took a considerable amount of effort to focus enough to answer the phone politely.

"Sir, there is a Sana Hanyu here to see you?"

"Yes." I breathed. "Yes, you can send her up."

"Was that Sana?" My mother peeked round the kitchen corner to ask when I hung up.

"Yes, she's downstairs."

"Good. Javi, I think the rice is ready." She said to him and he squeezed my arm before joining her in the kitchen again.

"We can keep it covered."

"Do you need to fluff it?"

"No, no. Let it sit."

"And the chicken?"

"We can put that on a plate already. It looks good, Okaasan." I started at that and watched them chat as they moved around the kitchen like they'd been friends for ages now...

I pinched myself hard just to check I wasn't dreaming.

Chapter Text

Javier:

When Yuzuru's mother had cornered me just as I was about to leave, my heart had lodged itself somewhere in the middle of my throat. I knew she hadn't really liked me since the first day we'd met each other and despite what Yuzu said about her being OK with him being gay...I was pretty sure she would rather her son was involved with someone other than me.

"Sit." She'd commanded. I sat. What else could I do? I'd seen that look in her son's eyes before. Even if I'd made it to the door and escaped, she'd probably just find me again. Was this where he got his tenacity from?

It was an eon before she opened her mouth again.

"I love my son very much." She'd said openly. When she didn't add anything else, I nodded slowly.

"Of Course. I can see that, Mrs Hanyu."

"I love him so much I let him fly all the way to the other side of the world to train with you." She said. "He left everything behind in Japan. Trainers he has been with for years; teachers; friends...family." She emphasized roughly. "He left it all to come here. Because of you." It was hard to swallow. I knew that Yuzu had to have left a lot behind to train here in Canada, but hearing her put it like that...

"I'm ...sorry?" I didn't really know what to say to her. She huffed softly and came to stand closer to the table.

"Don't be sorry. I know in the beginning that he made this decision because he wanted to be better. To be better we must make sacrifices. I understood this." She said carefully. "But now it is different."

"I don't understand..."

"I will not let you hurt my son, do you understand THAT?" Her eyes hardened and I pursed my lips.

"I would never intentionally hurt Yuzu..." I murmured. "That's ...all I can promise."

"Good. If you do not keep this promise, you will live to regret it." She said softly. Then; like she hadn't just threatened me; Mrs Hanyu dusted her hands and pointed to a box near the kitchen table. "If you wouldn't mind. Can you help me lift that before you go?"

"Sure..." I jumped out of my seat and grabbed the box full of fresh vegetables off the floor, hefting it up onto the table for her.

"Thank you." She said rather sweetly.

"It's ...no problem." I muttered and scratched the back of my neck. "Is this for...um Sana? Yuzu said his sister was visiting today." She eyed me warily but she hummed quietly.

"Yes. She's coming to visit for a week." She took out a bunch of carrots from the box and took them to the sink to wash them. I shuffled on my feet, hesitating. I felt incredibly awkward standing here, but this was probably the only time I'd get to spend with Yuzu's mother in a while and I knew he was feeling the stress of having to divide his time between the both of us. And given how she felt... I guess I could try to make her see I wasn't just the undisciplined irresponsible mess she saw sometimes when we were skating.

"Uh...I was...I jus - can I help you with anything else?" I stammered.

"Hmm?" She stared at me standing there for a moment. "You want to help?"

"Yes." I tried to give her my best friendly smile. "I uh... I'm not a bad cook." I tried and the corner of her mouth twitched.

The longer I spent time with Yuzu's mother in the kitchen, the more I started to relax. The food might have been a little different than what I was used to, but there was a preciseness in the way she moved about the kitchen that reminded me of my own mother. When I told her this she laughed lightly.

"It comes with age, like all things." She patted my cheek gently and handed me a bowl. "I didn't think to ask, but is your diet any different from Yuzuru's? I can just make you the same things. Sana usually likes 'actual food' as she calls it." She chuckled.

"It's not that different from his, no." I grinned at her. "But I'm missing home right now. I think I can afford to cheat just a little."

"I can make you something from home if you like." She smiled at me. "If you'll show me how to make it."

"OK." I rubbed my hands together happily. "Do we have any chicken left?"

By the time Yuzu woke up from his nap, supper was almost ready. He looked ridiculously adorable and it took all of my restraint to stop myself from launching myself across the room to kiss him. The second he was close enough, I pulled him to me. It wasn't enough but it would have to do for now. I was a little confident that his mother was starting to like me a little now, but I didn't want to change her mind by making out with Yuzu right in front of her.

I followed Yuzu to the dining room, not to help him, but just to be near him.

"Hey. Did you replace my mother with a clone while I was asleep?" He whispered.

"What? No." I laughed.

"My mother...doesn't like you." He frowned slightly. "And now she's smiling at you."

"Jealous?" I asked just to tease him.

"Why would I be jealous of my own mother?" He huffed. "I was just asking. Why the sudden change?"

"Well." I started. "I was going to leave but I saw your mom was cooking and I offered to help." I explained.

"You did?" I shrugged and shifted when he moved to put cutlery on the table.

"I know most mothers love 2 things. Their babies. And feeding their babies." My heart swelled in my chest when he laughed out loud. God, why was he so cute?

"I see." He mumbled.

"And I remember you said your sister was coming to visit. No diet restrictions tonight."

"Oh God." He sighed heavily. "What did you do?"

"I just gave her a recipe." I replied.

"Am I going to need to spend all of next week in the gym?" He asked. I let my eyes drift over the length of his body. He hadn't changed out of his work out clothes and from this close I could practically see every dip and crest of the muscles hidden underneath the warm fabric.

"One meal is not going to do any damage." I said softly.

"I'm already gaining weight from drinking your sugar filled concoction every morning." He grumbled. "At this rate I won't even fit in my costume before the season - "

"You have the most beautiful curves." I whispered in his ear and I caressed his sleep lined cheek with my nose. He really did. It was almost sinful. The shape of his back sloped so deliciously into a curve that flared at his hips and bloomed into perfect little peaks that made me want to sink my teeth into him. "Every time I look at your waist, I want to touch you. I want to ..." I murmured into his skin so softly that he shivered in my arms and I sucked in a sharp breath because I was so hard I could barely think anymore.

"You want to what?" He asked me, and I was trying to figure out how I was going to drag him back to my apartment when the phone started ringing.

By the time Yuzu's sister was ushered into the room by her mother, I had calmed down considerably.

"Okaasan." She cried happily and dropped her bags, pulling her mother into a hug. She said something rapidly in Japanese and her mother laughed loudly. When she let go of her, she skipped further into the room but paused when she saw Yuzu wasn't standing alone.

"Hi." She blinked at me and I managed to give her a genuine smile.

"Hello."

"Ne-chan." Yuzu said and her attention shifted back to her brother.

"Yuzu." She grinned again and hurried to his side, dragging him into a hug too. There was some more Japanese and I wondered briefly how long it would take me to learn a new language. It was a bit annoying not being able to understand anything.

"Ne-chan. This is my ..." Yuzu's eyes went a little wide and I could see his ears turning pink as he tried to figure out how to introduce me. "My f-friend. Javi." He stuttered.

"Nice to meet you." I nodded in her direction and she smirked a little.

"Likewise." She replied and then she was enveloped in the hurricane that was Mrs Hanyu with one of her chicks back home.

"Your sister seems nice." I said quietly, squeezing his hand.

"Mmm." He gave me a stiff smile and shook his head. "Come on. We should sit." He said and led me towards the dinner table.

"I thought you looked familiar." Sana said while Yuzu was clearing the dishes. When I'd tried to help him he'd given me the stink eye and I'd sat back down again. "Javier Fernandez. You're a figure skater too." She said.

"Yes." I fiddled with the place mat on the table. "I train with your brother." Her eyebrow lifted slightly.

"Isn't that a little intimidating?"

"I have JUST enough World titles that it's not so bad." I said with a smile and she cracked up.

"Oh my God, that was YOU? Shit, I remember now..." She twisted around in her seat and shouted something at Yuzu in the kitchen. He stuck his head around the corner and then stuck out his tongue at her making her laugh even more. "Oh this is priceless."

"Shut up." He hissed and rolled his eyes as he joined us at the table again. When he sat down, I reached out and patted his thigh. He shot me a small smile and turned back to his sister. "I can still skate circles around you.

"Yeah, because it's your job." She grunted.

"Baka."

"Aho."

"Yah." Mrs Hanyu slapped her hand on the table as she stood up. "How old are you two? Really." She tsked as she stood up carefully. "It's been a long day, so I'm going to sleep now. Since I cooked, you two can do the dishes."

"What about Javi?" Sana asked.

"Javi cooked too." She lifted her hand to pat my cheek. "And we don't make guests wash the dishes." She mumbled. "I'll see you in the morning, OK? Goodnight." When she'd disappeared down the hallway, Sana turned to her brother.

"She says that, and then she always tells us to wash the dishes when we're visiting someone. How is that supposed to work?"

"Mom Logic." Yuzu shrugged and they chuckled.

"I think it's time for me to go as well." I said. It felt weird now that supper was over and it had to be annoying for them to keep speaking in English just so I could understand. Besides, The siblings needed their own time together and Yuzu and I had to be up earlier than usual tomorrow morning.

"I..." He stood up with me and glanced at his sister. "I'll walk you out." I smiled at Sana again.

"It was really nice meeting you." I said again. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Same here. I'll see you when I see you again." She lifted her wine glass in a salute and I trailed after Yuzu.

"Thanks for helping out today. With my mom." He said softly by the door.

"It wasn't a problem." I said and he snickered.

"If you say so." He muttered.

"I'll see you in the morning, yeah?"

"OK." His smile was small and I leaned forward to steal a quick kiss. When I moved back, his hand shot out and grabbed my jacket tightly. He jerked me closer again. "Is that it?"

"Is what it?"

"Kiss me properly." He demanded. His eyes were shining and he could have asked me for the world right now and I would have given it to him. I gave him what he wanted though; a proper kiss. It was hot and slow and I got lost in how delicious he tasted. My lips tingled when I pulled back and I was rock hard again when I planted one more soft kiss on his pink swollen lips.

"Come to my place tomorrow?" I asked. I knew he probably wouldn't with his sister here but I was horny and not particularly thinking with my other head. "Please?"

"...I'll try." He whispered and after a few more kisses he let me go. "Goodnight, Javi."

"Goodnight, Dumpling." I winked at him and he scoffed out loud while I strolled to the elevator.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I was watching Javi as he jogged down the hall to catch the elevator when I heard a soft snort behind me.

"Does Okaasan know you're sucking face with the enemy?" I stilled with my hand on the door and chewed on my bottom lip before turning to face my sister.

"Ne-chan." I huffed and closed the door carefully. "Why do you always sneak up on me..."

"I wasn't sneaking anywhere."

"You gave me a fright." I sucked on my teeth and debated whether I could go to bed without actually washing the dishes.

"You didn't answer my question." She said with a raised eyebrow and watched me as I shuffled to the kitchen. I sighed softly and started to stack the dirty dishes.

"Yes. Okaasan knows." I muttered and Sana made a choking noise.

"WHAT?" She screeched and came to join me by the sink. "She...what? Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't YOU tell me?" She punched me in the arm and I shot her a look.

"Ouch." I said without venom and shrugged as I opened the water to rinse the dishes. "I don't know." I thought maybe she would have told my family after she found out I was seeing Javi. As for telling my sister myself...I wasn't lying to Javi when I said our relationship was a weird one. I never knew what to say to her and this was so personal...

"Did you think I would be mad?" She asked. "Or like...hate you?"

"No?" It sounded like a question. Did I think that? I don't know. I barely knew anything about my sister.

"Yuzu." She looked hurt. "I would never." She took a step closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I stopped what I was doing for the moment. "You're my little brother."

"Whatever." I mumbled with a chuckle.

"No. Listen to me." She shifted my shoulders until I was facing her. "I know we don't ...spend a lot of time together. But you're still my brother and I love you. Even when you were an annoying little shit and insisted on coming to skate practice with me all the time." I laughed out loud at that even as emotion started to clog my throat. "I could never hate you."

"Ne-chan..." I started but I didn't know how to finish. I had so much I wanted to say suddenly and didn't know how to say it. My sister smiled at me gently and opened her arms to give me a hug.

"You are SUCH a little shit, I swear. How could you not tell me you were seeing anyone." She grumbled in my ear. "Not even anyone. Your biggest skating rival in the world."

"Um..." I hummed.

"He is stupid handsome though." She mumbled and I chuckled.

"He is." She grinned at me when she pulled back.

"And Okaasan seems to like him."

"Not at first." I was still confused about what had happened with those two. Her face would wrinkle considerable if I even mentioned him before... Sana squealed suddenly and hopped up and down on the spot.

"I can't believe you're actually dating someone." I scoffed and went back to rinsing the dishes.

"Is it that hard to believe?" She bumped my shoulder with hers and leaned against the sink.

"I guess you didn't see it. You've always been so serious. I think this is the first time I've ever seen you smile so much." I rolled my shoulders and coughed slightly but it didn't stop my cheeks from blushing.

"I smile all the time."

"Off the ice." She elaborated with a fluttering hand. "It's nice. To see you smile." She said softly and I just shook my head. It was quiet for a while before she asked suddenly. "Is he a good kisser?" I dropped a bowl I was loading in the dishwasher and looked at her with wide eyes while it rolled on the floor.

"Ne-chan!"

"WHAT? He has nice lips." She said like it was completely normal and I wheezed trying to catch my breath.

I was sipping the last of my hot chocolate when Coach Brian clapped his hands and pointed to the gymnasium on the other side of the rink. Today we were staying off the ice until the reporters arrived at lunch time so I hustled over to his side while Javi trailed behind me slowly, talking to Tracey about elements of choreography he was hoping to change.

"Good morning." I smiled at Coach Brian and he patted my back as he led me to the trampoline.

"Morning, Yuzu. You up for some spinning or do you need a minute?" I rubbed my stomach confidently.

"I'm good. We can start now."

"Up you get then." He said.

In some ways working off the ice was easier because we weren't in our skates. Trust me, it was a hell of a lot easier to practice your rotations over and over again without the added stress of balancing on a tiny blade. It was also much harder in a way. Doing your choreography without the movement of flowing over the ice made you feel just a little ridiculous and it was harder to visualize your spins.

"Good. Your rotations are getting faster." Coach Brian said when he was done torturing me with another series of quads.

"He was a whole half rotation away from making it a Quintuple." I groaned as I stuck out my tongue and fell to the floor.

"I'm not going to do quints. Ever." I panted and Javi's face appeared over my head.

"Never say never, Dumpling." He poked at my cheek and went back to his session with Coach Ghislain on the balance ball.

"He's right. Never say never. If anyone can do it, it'll be you." Coach Brian said with his arms folded over his chest.

"I think I'm going to focus on actually landing my quads first, thank you very much."

"How are you going to do that lying on the floor?" He asked. I scoffed out loud and rolled over so I could stand up again.

"Mendoukusai." I mumbled under my breath.

"I heard that."

"You nervous?" Javi asked me while we were taking a break to put on our skates and waiting for the reporters to finish filing into the rink.

"How can you tell?" I asked him with a sardonic expression. It was taking me forever to lace up my skates properly because my hands were shaking slightly. There were so many cameras in the rink right now... It felt different from competition time for some reason. There wasn't a panel of judges to focus on and at least you only went through your routine once and it was over.

"Hey." Javi stopped fiddling with his own skates to touch my hand lightly. "Look at me." I sighed and rolled my eyes and huffed and repeated all that all over again before I looked up at him. "You're fine. Nothing will happen. And even if it does, it doesn't matter. Do you know why?"

"Why?" I asked him softly.

"Because you aren't alone. I'm right here." He squeezed my hand and the warmth radiated through me slowly. "I'm with you, OK? So let's do this."

"Right..." I breathed. He was right. I wasn't alone. Just that thought alone helped me to breathe a little easier. "Let's do this." I said with a small smile and he leaned forward with a grin of his own.

"I'll share you for now. I don't mind. But as soon as practice is over, you're mine." He said darkly and I had to focus hard to actually swallow.

"Don't say things like that." I chuckled awkwardly and pushed him away from me. Unfortunately I hadn't seen how close to the edge of the bench he was sitting. My mouth fell open when he yelped and toppled over the end of the bench and landed on the floor with a thump. It was silent in the rink for about a split second before the cameras started flashing.

Oh God. I couldn't help it. I laughed.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Mr Hanyu. Do you think you'll break any more records this year?"

"Do you think you are the reason why so many skaters competing this year have been adding quads to their routines?"

"Do you feel any added pressure with this being the last season before the next Olympic Games?"

"Why did you decide to leave your home country to train on foreign soil with your competitor?"

"Do you still think you'll receive the same support from your Japanese fans?"

Each question the reporters threw at me irritated me more and more. I could feel my right bottom eyelid beginning to twitch and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from rubbing it. They were all valid questions. I understood why they were asking them...but that didn't mean I didn't get annoyed at having to answer them. How could I answer a question like that? I mean I HOPED I still had the support of the people from the country that had raised me but I didn't know for sure. It made my chest ache with anxiety and I took a few calming breaths before the next question was thrown at me.

"Mr Hanyu, what is your connection with the character Winnie the Pooh?" I paused at that. Wha - how had they found out that I liked Winnie the Pooh? The question must have been easy to see on my face because the reporter continued. "There has been speculation on social media that the character is particularly lucky for you."

"Online?" I blinked again. I still never really used my phone much other than to text friends and family; I knew Javi found it irritating when I forgot it existed and ignored his texts for a few hours. Social media was just something I never looked at. "It... um..." I stammered for a second, a little flustered.

"I don't think Yuzu knows what you're talking about." Javi said next to me and I almost sighed with relief that he'd give me a moment to gather my thoughts.

"I don't." I admitted. "What are they talking about?" I asked him quietly.

"You remember when you gave Phillipe your Winnie the Pooh doll?" I nodded once. "Well, he posted a picture of it online, and explained that it was from you. For good luck. I think everyone found that really cute. They've been talking about it for ages."

"Really?" I blinked some more. "But...why?"

"Mr Hanyu, do you think you will become the second person in the world to ever win gold at consecutive Olympic Games'?" Another reporter asked and I lost my train of thought.

"If that interview went on any longer I was going to pull you onto the ice myself." Coach Brian said softly as he watched Javi and I stretch a little before we got on the ice. "You looked like you were about to bust a vein." He looked at me pointedly.

"Felt like it." I mumbled and he squeezed my shoulder when I hopped past him onto the ice. This what why I hated interviews. I got overwhelmed slightly by all the questions and I had no idea what I was even saying anymore. When I got too flustered I had no idea how to even answer in English anymore and my brain got stuck on Japanese. I didn't have a translator here with me though.

"Oh. Sana." Javi said next to me and I glanced over at where he was looking. Sure enough, my sister was making her way around the rink with a basket in her arms and a smirk on her face.

"Ne-chan."

"I told you I'd stop by, didn't I?" She huffed in Japanese and handed the basket to a snickering Tracy. "Hello." She waved at Coach Brian who looked at her, then at me, then back at her.

"Your sister?" He asked.

"Unfortunately." I mumbled and Javi punched me in the arm. "Ouch."

"Come on. They're waiting for us to start practice." He said, reminding me of the cameras and I pushed off the wall to start loosening up on the ice.

"Did Sana bring food?" Javi asked me softly.

"Probably." I snorted. My mother really turned into a beast when my sister was here. Once her restraint was unlocked, she really didn't hold back. The kitchen table this morning had been crowded with stuff already.

"Did you see if she made any of those things again? What were they called?"

"Harumaki?" I hummed. "Spring rolls."

"Those things." He grinned at me and licked his lips. "I think I ate like 30 of those."

"It was more like 50." I said and reached out to slap him on the stomach. It was useless though. He probably didn't even feel it. Javi might eat a hell of a lot of junk, but he was still made of steel. He laughed out loud and I grimaced with annoyance again when a wave of flashes spluttered to life.

Javier:

I could see that it was taking a lot for Yuzu too keep calm at the moment. I was trying my best to keep his mind off the cameras when he'd hear a sound and tense up again. I sent a slight glare in their general direction but I tried to let it go. They were just doing their job. I would handle Yuzu.

Tracy sat by the music booth munching on what looked like those freaking delicious spring rolls that I'd been asking about and she set up our program music for us. It was simple enough. I'd skate a little of my short program and then a little of my free skate and Yuzu would do the same. Yuzu had threatened not to do any jumps at all but both coaches had asked him not to troll the press.

The music started and Yuzu drifted to one corner of the ice to let me move around. I pushed everything aside for now and just focused on skating. I met Yuzu's eyes across the ice a few times and I couldn't help smiling by the time I started on my free skate. I was pretty sure he'd be much harsher than any of the reporters in the room right now. He was always nagging me about being lazy in my step sequence and flagging on my spins.

"Good." Coach Brian said when I was done and coasted over to the side of the rink. He was blathering on about whatever it was that I had been doing wrong, but I could barely hear him. Tracy had just stared Yuzu's music and he was floating over the ice.

I could watch Yuzu skate a million times and never get tired of it. There was just something about the way he carried himself on the ice that very few other skaters had. Part grace and part...something otherworldly. Because he wasn't human. He couldn't be. I'd never met a human being as fascinating as he was.

"If you don't close your mouth, flies will get in." I started when Sana spoke next to me.

"What are you? A cat?" She cackled and shook her head.

"You do realize you have about 100 cameras filming you with your mouth open right now..." I snapped it shut and shot her a look.

"I thought today's practice was closed to visitors." I muttered.

"Hey, I flew all the way from Japan to see my brother, OK?" She squared her shoulders and narrowed her eyes. "Closed practice doesn't apply to me."

"Is that why Momma Bear sent you with snacks?" I asked, eyeing the basket. She shrugged and leaned on the railing again.

"She likes to cook."

We fell into silence just as Yuzu was finishing part of his free skate, the constant click of cameras almost fading to the background. I tsked when he threw in a triple axel with his hands above his head. Show off. Yuzu dropped to the ice with a gasp and sat down, fanning his face. I felt Sana stiffen beside me. I guess to others it looked like Yuzu was about to pass out. In a way, it was kinda true. Once he was on the ice, he gave it his everything. In every practice. There wasn't a single time he finished a routine not looking like he gave it his all. No one was more serious about skating than Yuzu.

It was only after the press had left the building that I saw the tension in Yuzu's shoulders dissipate. I hooked my arm around his neck and he smiled at me gently before pressing a kiss to my sweaty cheek.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked but he just kept smiling and gave my cheek another kiss before he ducked out from under my arm to go to his sister. I tuned out the Japanese and hovered near the basket for a while until I was sure it was safe, then I stuck my hand inside and pulled out 3 spring rolls. I had two shoved in my mouth before I felt a strong pat on my back.

"Javi." Coach Ghislain said with a warning tone.

"Don't act like you didn't eat them too. I saw you." I mumbled as I chewed.

"Well I don't have the European Championships coming up in a couple of weeks." He said slapping his belly.

"Weeks." I repeated. "It's fine." I shoved the last one in my mouth and I was reaching for the basket again when Yuzu lifted it out the way.

"We should go home, Ne-chan." He said.

"Home?" I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards me. "Why are you going home, I thought you were coming back to my apartment?" I whispered.

"I said I would try." He said looking for all the world like a little puppy. "Okaasan can be difficult. I think it's better right now just to go home."

"I can cover for you." Sana piped up and we both looked at her in surprise. "What? The room echoes."

"See, Sana will cover for you."

"You will?" He asked his sister.

"I'll just ask her to take me shopping." She grinned and rubbed her hands together. "She won't even notice you're gone."

"I think she would notice if here CHILD was missing." Yuzu said petulantly.

"Her CHILD is a grown man who is finally being rebellious and sneaking off to have some fun." Sana giggled. "Come on. Let me enjoy this for a second."

"Shut up." Yuzu rolled his eyes and handed the basket to his sister. "Fine. Go home by yourself."

"Hey." I snatched the basket back. "This doesn't need to go anywhere."

"When did you even start to like my food? I thought it was boring."

"YOUR food is boring." I explained. "This is not your food, Dumpling."

"Dumpling?!" Sana asked with a smirk on her face.

"Oh my God. Kaere!" Yuzu pushed her towards the door.

"I'm going, I'm going." She laughed as she left.

"This is your fault." He sighed as he glowered at me.

Chapter Text

Javier:

Yuzu was barely through the door before I had my hands on him, tugging his shirt off and walking him backwards until he reached something I could bend him over. I didn't even care what it was, as soon as his knees caved, I attacked in earnest.

"Javi!" He hissed but he didn't tell me to stop so I latched my mouth on the side of his neck and bit him gently. The sound that came out of his mouth made my mouth water and I held him closer to me, rubbing against him slowly.

It was a lifetime before I managed to get the lube I'd stashed in my gym bag out and slicked my fingers enough to push inside him. This time when he groaned my name, it made me shudder with anticipation.

"Up." I tapped the side of his leg and he lifted his knee onto the table. The sight of him bent over and open on my fingers was enough to make me bite my tongue and count to ten because fuck...this was going to be over way too quickly.

"Move..." He panted softly and I pressed up harder against him, exchanging my fingers for my leaking cock and he let out the most deliciously long moan, pushing back onto me. I gripped my hands on his hips, but there was no way I could slow down the pleasure of sinking into him.

"Me volverás loco." I mumbled and let my head drop to rest my forehead between his shoulders. I just needed a second to calm down. Yuzu didn't give me that second though. He twisted and squirmed under me, whispering to himself in Japanese. "Deja de moverte." I tried, tightening my grip, but I realized I'd said it in Spanish and huffed heavily. "Yuzu."

"Nani?" He muttered, lifting his head. I was about to speak when he trembled slightly and started to rock his hips.

"Fuck..." I moaned and gave up trying to hold on. It was useless.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep when my eyes fluttered open and I saw Yuzu sitting up in bed, biting his bottom lip as he tapped on his phone. The afternoon sun was long gone, but he had gotten up at some point to turn on the light in the room so I was still rewarded with the image of him bathed in golden light. My eyes travelled along up the length of his leg, hovered by the bruises on his hips and by the time I was halfway up his chest, I was hard again. The look on his face made me only stop a kiss though.

"What are you doing?" I asked him and he hummed softly.

"I'm making an Instagram account." I snorted out loud and fell back on the pillows.

"What?"

"I wanted to see...the reporters said that there were people on social media talking about me..." He murmured and I squeezed his thigh.

"People are always talking about you though." I said but he just pursed his lips and carried on fiddling with his phone. I sighed quietly and sat up so I could see what he was doing. His newly made Instagram page was still very empty and the cursor was blinking in the Bio section. I took the phone from him and typed in:

'The only thing I love more than skating is Javi.'

"Stop it." He snickered next to me and grabbed his phone, backspacing quickly.

"What? You don't love me?"

"Daikirai." He muttered.

"I don't know what you just said, but I'll take that as 'I love you very much'." I said and he scoffed. I left him alone to play with his bio, trailing kisses along his shoulder.

"I should upload a picture, shouldn't I?"

"Well, I think it's only right that your first post should be Pooh-bear."

"Really?" I nodded once. "OK..." I laughed out loud when he chose a picture of his entire collection of Winnie the Pooh dolls. "Done."

"Are you going to follow anyone?"

"Who would I want to follow?" He blinked at me.

"I ...you know, like the ISU or like...someone you like?" I ventured.

"Someone I like?" He repeated and brought up the search bar. I can't say I wasn't disappointed when the first person Yuzu searched for wasn't me, but Evgeni Plushenko.

"Are you kidding me?" I spluttered.

"I grew up with Russian ballet teachers." He said calmly. "So I watched Evgeni a lot as a kid. He's amazing." He smiled.

"You were supposed to look for me first." I nipped at his ear with my teeth and he smacked me lightly.

"Jealously doesn't become you."

"How can I not be jealous? Everyone always wants a piece of you and I just want you all to myself." I mumbled in his ear and I felt more than saw him smile again.

"Javi..." He said seriously and turned to look at me. "You do have me." I couldn't quite read the emotion on his face, but it made my heart squeeze uncomfortably tight to hear him say that. I closed my eyes when he kissed my lips lightly and curled my hand into his hair so he wouldn't pull back too far.

It was easy to get lost in kissing Yuzu. I loved how soft he was, how he tasted and how it felt to hold him in my arms. So when he settled back on the bed again and pulled me between his legs, I didn't stop kissing him. I didn't stop when I slid inside him again, and even when he was gasping my name again, I drowned those with kisses too.

Yuzuru:

I smirked at Javi when he stumbled into practice late again and Coach Brian dragged him to a quiet corner to give him a lecture on the importance of punctuality. Even from this side of the rink I could see him rolling his eyes.

After Coach banished Javi to another session with Mistress Ekaterina, he ran me ragged for hours trying to hammer in the muscle memory for a solid triple axel and triple toe loop. I might not have minded much because I craved the repetition that came with practice to calm my nerves when it was competition time...only every time I landed on the ice I could feel the after effects of spending the night with Javi.

"Are you OK? Did you twist something?" Coach Brian asked after a particularly rough landing that sent sharp pain straight from my backside up my spine and made me wince.

"I'm fine." I breathed and skated around the ice a few times to get ahold of myself.

After about the 3rd time I landed on my ass I was ready to strangle Javi. I made a mental note to self not to let him anywhere near me a few days before competition days.

JV: Where are you? 😮

YZ: Busy. 😛

JV: What? Where? The only reason why I like seeing Ms Ekaterina is because I get to see your ass in tights. 😜

YZ: Stay away from my ass. 😒

JV: That's not what you were saying this morning. 😈

"What are you doing?" I startled so badly I almost dropped my phone.

"I...wh..freaking hell." I gasped and held a hand to my racing heart. "Johnny. You gave me a fright."

"I'm sorry honey, but I just wanted to make sure you were still alive." He raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me. "You were doing something with your face." He gestured to it with a fluttering hand. "I might be hallucinating but I thought you were smiling."

"Ah." I chuckled slightly and tucked my phone safely back in my pocket.

"And now he laughs." He murmured and followed me inside the large building. "Tell me. Who is he?"

"Who is who?" I blinked at him.

"Only a man has ever put a smile that big on my face." He grinned at me and hooked his arm in mine. "SOOO who is he?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said simply and Johnny's tinkling laugh echoed in the hallway on the way to the fitting room. When Tracy had asked me about costumes, I had mentioned to her that I really wanted to stick to my main sources of influence for costume styles. Mostly like Evgeni's because I hadn't lied to Javi last night. He was one of my favourite skaters in the world and if I could dress like him, I would be insanely happy. But there was also another skater who never failed to wow me with his costumes too. I had almost coughed up a lung when she said she'd called Johnny and he would love to help design some new costumes for me.

"Mr Hanyu." Amanda, my seamstress for this competition season, gave me a warm smile. "Mr Weir. Good to see you again."

"Amanda, I've told you a thousand times to call me Johnny." He rolled his eyes and Amanda rolled them right back.

"I told you. If my employees hear me all you Johnny, then they call you Johnny and they start to think they can say whatever they want to you."

I let the two of them catch up briefly while I peeked at the costume hanging on the wall.

"You like it?" Amanda asked from beside me. "We were going to put it on a mannequin but you are surprisingly tiny." She gave me a quick once over. "It didn't fit any of the ones I had."

"Sorry..." I blushed, not really sure why I was embarrassed about being small... "But I do. Like it." I stammered and she looked relieved.

"That's great. I wasn't sure this was quite the right material but -."

"It's perfect." I said, reaching out so I could touch the beads sparkling along the sleeve. "I love it."

"Selfie!" Johnny cried when we were done with the fitting and we were all happy. My costume fit like a glove and I was glad I had one less thing to stress about now. I huddled in with Johnny and Amanda and he took his selfie.

"Can you send it to me?" I asked him. "I want to post it on my Instagram too." I didn't really think it was anything worth sharing with the world, but I knew that there was a certain someone who would see it and I was almost bursting at the seams to see how cute he looked when he got jealous again.

"You have an Instagram account?? Since when? Is it verified yet? How many followers do you have? Oh my God, I need to tell Kevin." Johnny rambled as his fingers flew over the phone. I ignored the questions and when I got the photo, I sent it straight to Instagram. It didn't even take 2 minutes before my phone was buzzing in my hands.

JV: Johnny Weir??

JV: You're hanging out with JOHNNY WEIR??

JV: Where the hell are you?

I cackled loudly and put my phone on silent.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"I'll be back as soon as your season starts." My sister said and I raised my eyebrow. Usually she didn't show up to my competitions anymore. She said it was boring because no one skated better than I did. "What?" She shrugged and tucked her hair under her beanie. "This year might actually be a little more interesting."

"And this season is important." My mother added, petting my shoulders. "You're getting ready for the Olympics. We want to give you as much support as we can."

"Yeah, what she said." Sana pointed her thumb at our mother who gave her a hard look.

"Don't point your finger at me."

"It's my thumb."

"I'll still break it."

"Your taxi is here." I interrupted their bickering which turned into hugs all around and I waved goodbye to my sister as she drove away. I was a little surprised when I realized I was actually going to miss her while she was gone. I guess we'd gotten a little closer during this trip. Did I have Javi to thank for that? A bit, I supposed.

"What are you smiling about?" My mother asked, hooking her arm in mine and leading me back inside the hotel.

"Nothing." I turned my smile to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Do you want to go out for lunch today?"

The day the interview article came out, I was trying to find it online but Javi confiscated my phone.

"You'll just nitpick everything." He explained, disappearing into his bedroom.

"But I want to know what they said." I pouted.

"Coach Brian hasn't called either of us so it can't be anything bad, yeah?" He said when he came back. I relaxed into his touch when his hands squeezed my shoulders. "Don't think about it."

"That feels good..." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Yeah?" He whispered in my ear and I got goose bumps when his lips brushed against the side of my neck. "Do you have - " Whatever he'd been about to say was interrupted by loud banging on the door. I jumped in my seat but Javi just groaned and trudged over to the door.

"JAVI!" There was a chorus of cheers by the front door and when he stepped aside, I saw Cal carrying a crate of beer followed by Bjorn and Louis.

"Oh, hey Yuzu." Cal smiled at me when he saw me. He came into the kitchen to dump the crate on the table and I returned his fist bump awkwardly. His hands were so big, it looked like just a tiny bump would knock me over.

"Hey Cal."

"You're here for the pre-comp party?" He asked and I blinked at him.

"The what?"

"The party." Bjorn sat down in the chair next to me, munching on some protein bar-like thing. "Before every big competition, we throw a party, you know." No, I did not know. Javi was due to fly to France for the European Championships tomorrow morning and they wanted to have a party?

"Why?..."

"Ah, helps the big guy relax, right." Cal shrugged. "The stress can really get to him sometimes."

"Yeah?" Javi was always so confident...I guess I never really considered how he'd unwind before a competition.

"Aren't you heading to France too?" Bjorn nudged my shoulder gently. I chuckled and declined when he tried to hand me a beer.

"Ah. No. Japan isn't part of Europe." I replied and he laughed.

"Right. Forgot."

"We'll only start competing in the Canada All-Skate."

"You looking forward to your silver medal?" Javi asked with a smirk as he and Louis and joined us.

"Are you?" I raised my eyebrow. "I haven't seen you land your quads cleanly after the step sequence."

"That's because ..." And he rambled his way through an inaudible explanation.

"...Right..."

It didn't matter how hard I cuddled Javi that night. By the time morning came I was still vaguely miserable. A whole week. Since I'd come to Toronto to train, I don't think we'd ever spent that long apart from each other.

"Text me when you have time." He'd said over breakfast. I could barely open my mouth to say goodbye to him when he'd left me in his apartment with a kiss and a flask of hot chocolate. I sipped it slowly surveying the mess the boys had left. I didn't have time to do anything about it. Practice was starting soon.

"Good. Focus on your foot, please." Coach Ghislain said when I passed him on the ice. I'd been trying to focus but the only thing I could think about was how much time was left until Javi skated.

"You're over rotating again." He sighed when I landed with a wobble. "We've done this 100 times, Yuzu. Balance on the outer edge of the skate. Don't use your toe pick. Again." I gritted my teeth and worked on delaying my rotations but I just wasn't getting it right.

When I fell on the ice for the 20th time, Coach Ghislain skated towards me and leaned over, pursing his lips while he stared at me laying flat on the ice.

"He's going to be fine, you know." He said eventually.

"I know." I muttered. I didn't even know why I was worried. I just wanted...

"Do you want to go watch him skate? I have the TV set up in the gymnasium." He was barely finished speaking before I was up and hopping in that direction. I took out my phone. He had about half an hour until the competition started. He would be on the ice by now, warming up.

Sure enough, when i turned on the TV all the skaters were on the ice, weaving between each other just to get a feel for how for it. It still made me nervous when I joined the group warm up. Having collided with another skater once, it made me extra cautious.

My leg bounced up and down when Javi finally skated out to the middle of the rink. He looked handsome all the time, but he looked especially handsome today. He had shaved recently and his costume hugged every curve of his muscles in a way that made my throat dry and my work out pants tight. Thank goodness I was sitting down.

"Our next skater, representing Spain. Javier Fernandez." Came the announcement and there was cheering in the crowd. I wondered briefly if any of his family had gone.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched Javi skate a pretty clean program. He hesitated a bit on one of his jumps which made him stumble a bit, but he didn't touch the ice so I let out a relieved breath. I'd been watching the scoring on the side of the screen so I knew he was in a good place technically, but I still crossed my fingers when he stepped into the kiss and cry with Coach Brian and Tracy. Presentation still counted for a lot.

"The scores please." The announcer rumbled and Javi grimaced as he looked into the camera. He was sweaty and breathing hard, cheeks flushed, but he still managed to pull off a wink that made me weak at the knees. "The scores for the short program." The number appeared on screen and Javi grinned. 102.4. Not bad. He was in the number 1 position at the moment with the highest score after the short program.

"Looking good. If he can keep it up for the free skate, he might snatch that gold." Coach Ghislain said next to me.

"Yeah..." I hummed. I crossed my fingers again tighter and hoped he did well tomorrow too.

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Javi. You ready?"

"In a sec." I called out and Coach Brian shut the door to the dressing room. I checked the time again and pressed call.

"Moshi moshi?" Yuzu murmured and the air that had been trapped in my lungs escaped in one long sigh.

"It's me."

"Shitte iru." There was shuffling on the other line. "How are you? Is it competition time already?"

"Almost. Are you still sleeping?" It had to be around 5 am in Toronto right now.

"My alarm was going to go off soon anyway." I pictured him sitting up in bed, looking entirely too cute with his hair sticking out all over the place and his eyes unfocused. "Nervous?"

"Can you tell?"

"Don't be. I watched your short. You were awesome."

"Finally cracked 100." I smiled down the line. I wish I had video called him but there were still other skaters in the dressing room with me.

"Took you long enough." He shot back but it was marred by the yawn he let out seconds later. "I'm really happy for you. And I know you'll do great today too. Home advantage and all that jazz."

"France isn't exactly Madrid."

"Europe is Europe."

"I don't think England would agree."

"The English are as confusing as their language." He mumbled and sniffed delicately. "I have to go get ready for practice, but Pooh-san and I will be here, wishing you good luck."

"Arigatou." I tried out for the first time.

"You're learning fast." He commented.

"When are you going to learn Spanish?"

"I have to learn Spanish?!" He asked with a gasp.

"Hey, I'm learning Japanese!"

"If you beat me at the Autumn Classic, I'll learn your Spanish." He said with all the haughty confidence of an Olympic Champion.

"You're on, Dumpling." I replied with an evil grin. "Bring it."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to take a second in the middle of the ice, sucking in deep breaths and blocking out the noise of fans screaming in the stands. I had been skating my whole life and I'd never felt this exhausted at the end of a program before. I shook my head, got my shit together and stood up so I could bow and wave to the crowd while the next skater warmed up on the ice.

"You good?" Coach Brian patted my back when I skated to the edge of the rink.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I huffed and slipped on my guards so we could head over to the kiss and cry area. While the scores were being tallied, my leg bounced nervously up and down.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about." Tracy said next to me. "Trust me." I nodded absently and my heart skipped a beat when the announcement started.

"The scores for the Free Skate." I shut my eyes for a moment. I wasn't ready yet.

"Yes!" Coach Brian cheered and I opened one eye to peek at the score. 248.73. The number 1 was next to my name but it still took a while to believe it.

"Congrats, Fernandez." I paused when another skater who's name I forgot caught up with me on the way to the podium for the medal ceremony.

"Thanks, man." I squeezed his arm and made my way behind the middle step. I smiled when the president of the ISU handed me my gold medal and I bumbled my way through a brief interview with a reporter. I was so hungry I could barely see straight so I skipped the down time in the spa that they offered all the skaters and went directly to the athlete's cafeteria.

"Hey. You got the gold already. You don't need to eat all the good shit too."

"Shut up, Mikhail." I chuckled and stacked one more chicken wing on my plate before moving on. I found a table with a few others that I was friends with and sat down quickly. "I'm freaking starving."

"I would be starving too with 5 world titles." Carolina muttered and Ivan cackled loudly.

"Javier, my friend. You are a beast." He slapped me on the back just as I was about to bite my chicken and it flew out my hand.

"Ivan!" I complained and tried again. This time he left me alone and I demolished my chicken wings in peace. Almost.

"Hey, so I saw you're training with that kid now." Morgan said. Was it a question?

"He's not a kid." I replied and wiped my hands on a napkin quickly. I had forgotten to check my phone after the interview.

"He's just as crazy as Javi." Mikhail was saying. "Those two are going to kill us this season. I can barely even land my triples and these kids are knocking out quads like they're baking cookies."

I didn't see any messages from Yuzu. A few from family and friends saying congratulations...was he still busy at practice? Maybe. When Yuzu was focused, he usually stayed focused. I exited without answering any messages and opened Instagram. Ah...

'I didn't want to tell you, but Pooh-san says Omedetou, Javi.' I couldn't help laughing at the picture Yuzu had posted. He had his Winnie the Pooh doll raising it's hand in the air and wearing a toy gold medal. Next to it, he was pulling a funny face and sticking out his tongue. It was pathetic how much I missed him right now.

'Thank you, Pooh-san. I'll see you when I get home'

"OK, who are you texting?" Carolina sat up and banged her hand on the table. "Are you cheating on me?" She fake sobbed.

"Are you dating someone?"

"He's been grinning at his phone like an idiot."

"He was on the phone before warm up giggling like a 13 year old."

"Oh, shit. Is Javi off the market." I rolled my eyes as everyone went around the table throwing in comments.

"All of you are 13 year olds." I mumbled, putting away my phone and going back to my chicken wings. "I don't need to tell you anything."

Chapter Text

Javier:

I sucked on my teeth when another message from Laura popped up on my screen.

'Are you on your way?'

"Sir? Can you please switch off your phone for take off?" The stewardess said next to me and I nodded as I powered it down. A small part of me felt bad for not telling her that I wasn't coming down to Madrid like I'd said I would a few weeks ago. Only a very small part. I'd be back again in a month or so anyway for the Four Continents. Right now I just wanted to get back to Canada as soon as possible. Coach Brian snored in his chair next to me while Tracy was on her laptop working on more choreography she'd mentioned before we'd left for France. I spent my flight back home going through my homework.

I thought about going to my apartment first but I turned left instead and made it to Mistress Ekaterina's studio just as Phillipe and the rest of the little ones were leaving.

"Javi!" He cried and ran towards me. I held up a fist and he bumped his smaller one against mine.

"Hey little monkey. How's it going?"

"I watched you at that thing on TV." He panted and I chuckled.

"You remembered?" I ruffled his hair and nodded at another student who was waving goodbye.

"It was so cool. You got the gold medal and everything." He grinned up at me and I took it out of my jacket pocket.

"I guess it does look pretty cool." I said and tucked it over his head. It hung much lower on his small body, but he was beaming as he played with it.

"I want a gold medal too one day." He said reverently.

"Do you get gold medals in ballet?"

"No, silly." He rolled his eyes. "I want to start skating. Like you and Yuzuru-san."

"Really?" I smiled at his enthusiasm.

"I went to the rink last weekend but the teacher sucks." He pouted. "He talks to me like I'm a baby."

"Are you not a baby?" He gave me such a look of indignation that I laughed out loud. With Mistress Ekaterina, she expected you to be close to perfect no matter how old you were. I suppose other teachers were softer with kids.

"He was so boring." He huffed and took my medal off his neck. "But Mama said there's no other teachers in the area." He looked sad when he handed it back to me.

"Tell you what." I said. "Why don't you come by to the rink where Yuzu and I train and maybe we can work something out. Hmm?" Coach Brian was probably going to chew my ass again, but I didn't think about that too much right now.

"For real?"

"Sure. I mean, we have another competition coming soon, but after that I have some time." Yuzu needed to head back to Japan soon for some promotions and stuff before the Asian leg of the Four Continents tour in Tokyo and the Grand Prix in Shanghai.

"I'll talk to Mama." He said seriously and ran off when he saw her car pull up. "Bye, Javi!"

It was maybe a half hour later that Yuzu stumbled out of the doors looking a little flushed and gloomy.

"Yuzu." I called and his eyes widened when he saw me leaning against the wall.

"Javi? What are you doing here?" He hobbled over but when I tried to lean forward for a kiss, his hand shot out and he looked around nervously. "Not here."

"No one's around." I huffed but he stayed firm so I sighed and let it go. "I was waiting for you." I explained.

"Were you waiting long?"

"Not long." My eyes stayed on his lips and he snorted softly, hitching his gym bag over his shoulder.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that." He said as he started down the stairs for my car.

"Like what?"

"Just get in the car." He mumbled and slammed his door shut. As soon as I got inside the car I reached for him, gripping his chin hard and pulling him closer. The first brush of my lips over his made him gasp and I sucked it in, diving in and kissing him hard. His eyes were a little less gloomy and a lot more glossy when I pulled back and rubbed my thumb over his shiny bottom lip.

"I missed you..." I whispered.

"I missed you too..." He whispered back.

The moan Yuzu let out when my hands slid down the length of his back was sinful. I was becoming a little obsessed with touching him here. The muscles under my hands twitched and rolled under his skin and my mouth started to water. My arms were shaking when I leaned down to run my tongue along the curve of his spine.

"Kimochi..."

"Yeah?" I mouthed my way back up to his shoulder.

"Don't stop." He whined and I let myself press down over him, rocking my hips and rubbing my cock back and forth on his ass.

"You want me to stop?" Yuzu made a strangled noise and fisted the sheets by the pillow. After muttering something in Japanese he arched into me.

"Don't." He panted. "Don't stop." I grazed my teeth along the vein pulsing wildly in his neck and moaned softly in his ear when I pushed into him and he shuddered in my arms. I held him close to me for just a moment, marveling in how amazing he felt caressing his jaw with my nose so I could focus on something other than how much I needed to come right this second. Yuzu grew impatient and shifted under me, twisting and writhing as he tried to get me to move.

"Wait." I hissed, grabbing his hips.

"If you don't move, I'm going to kill you."

"¿Estás seguro?" He let out a menacing growl that I felt all the way inside him. I tightened my grip on his hips. "Yuzu." I warned him but he ignored me. "Fine. Have it your way." I mumbled in his ear. "Just remember you asked for it."

Yuzu was glaring at me from across the ice when Coach Brian asked him to lay out his step sequence so he could work on his entry into his triple axel, quad toe loop for his free skate program. I snickered as he went over the steps again and hesitated AGAIN before the jump, landing awkwardly and wobbling into the side rail. Coach Brian sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering to himself.

Yuzu skated by me and I could see before he even opened his mouth what he wanted to say.

"I warned you." I murmured and his cheeks went bright pink. He opened his mouth to say something but got pulled back into his practice.

"Javi, can I talk to you for a second." Coach Brian said. "Stay on that step sequence, Yuzu. I want a triple axel so perfect the judges will cry, you hear me?" Yuzu smiled sweetly but the word that came out of his mouth was far from it. I covered my laugh with a cough but I don't think Coach Brian bought it. "What did he say?"

"Nothing." I fluttered my eyelashes at him and he huffed in defeat.

"I think you know why I pulled you aside." He started.

"In my defence, he told me not to stop." I blinked. He blinked back at me and then at Yuzu, then snorted and ran a hand over his face.

"Jesus, Javi. No, that's not why I wanted to talk to you." He grumbled. "I wanted to talk to you about this kid. Phillipe." I'd been telling Yuzu about my deal with Phillipe during warm up and he'd been happy to agree to help me teach him to skate.

"What about him?" I folded my arms over my chest. I was feeling a little defensive.

"Do you really think you'll have the time with the season just starting and you know that this year is extra stressful because the Olympics are soon and - "

"I get it." I interrupted him. "But, you know, the kid just wants to learn how to skate, Coach. I can give him an hour of my time once in a while." I said.

"I just think that now is not the time to - "

"You have me coaching kids at Mistress Ekaterina's all the time." I complained. "Now that I actually want to, you're trying to make me stop."

"Javi..." He gave me a look.

"I'm not going to change my mind. Don't bother." I said firmly and skated back to Yuzu who was still grimacing as he landed.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"This is stupid." Javi muttered with a sigh but I ignored him, closing my eyes as I settled down to go to sleep. "Did you hear me? Yuzu?" He nudged me with his foot and my arm shot out to smack him.

"Stop it."

"But - "

"No."

"OK, then can I just have a kiss?" I let out a frustrated groan and rolled over onto my side so I could see him over the bank of pillows I'd lined between us.

"I don't trust you."

"You wound me." He gasped and clutched his chest. "I make you hot chocolate every morning and you don't trust me?"

"No." I said plainly and he laughed out loud. There were many instances where I trusted Javi but he had the willpower of a baby. One kiss would lead to a whole lot more and there was no way I was going into a competition with a sore ass. He'd just have to deal with it.

"Dumpling..." He said sweetly, leaning over the pillows and trying to plant a kiss on my lips. I let it land on my cheek with a soft pat.

"I told you why." I huffed even though a smile was beginning to twist my lips. He looked so cute right now.

"Watashi ni kisu o shite kurenai?" He said softly and I felt the smile slip off my face as goose bumps rippled over my skin. I knew Javi had said he was learning some Japanese but I thought he just meant basic things... Hearing him speak like that to me made my heart skip just a little. "Hmm?" He prodded, pushing closer and brushing his nose over my cheek lightly. "Will you?"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't. There was a lump in my throat that I was afraid I'd choke on if I opened my mouth. My eyes drifted shut when his lips found mine and like always, I was lost. He ended the kiss too soon and despite how hard I'd tried to resist earlier, I couldn't help whimpering when he shifted back to lie down.

"Told you it was a stupid rule." He muttered with a small smile. I put a hand to my tingling lips and sighed silently. I had to agree. It was the stupidest.

"Come on. You're up next." Coach Brian held out his hand for me to hand him my sports jacket and my skate guards. Once they were in his hands, it all became a little much for me. This was it. This was the first time I was skating after leaving Japan and Takahashi Sensei... What if I failed? What if I disappointed Coach Brian? We'd been training so hard together the past few months but it was all down to how well I performed in the next 3 minutes. The pressure filled my lungs until I felt like it had a vice grip on my throat. Oh my God. I was going to fail. I was -

"Good luck, Yuzu." I heard next to me and when I turned, Javi was standing there with a smile and my Winnie the Pooh doll in his hands.

"Javi..." I breathed and my hand reached out to touch him before I remembered just how many people and cameras were watching me right now. My fingers settled on Pooh-san's head and I gave it a little pat. "Thank you."

"You're going to do great. I know you will." He said firmly and I gave him a nod before stepping onto the ice.

I was so worried about how I did I barely knew which way to bow after I was done. I rushed through it much faster than I should have and scurried off the ice to fall into the safety of Coach Brian's embrace.

"That was amazing." He beamed at me and I panted with relief.

"Really?"

"So good. Here." He handed me my jacket and we sat down on the Kiss and Cry bench to wait for the results. "I'm not worried. I think you did great."

"I hope so." I murmured, biting my lip anxiously. When the score finally came, Coach Brian gave me a strong pat on the back and squeezed my shoulder.

"See?" I stared at the 94.87 on the board. Not bad for a short program.

When it was Javi's turn to skate, I stayed by the rails. It was unusual for me enough that the other skaters were giving me funny looks, but I really wanted to see him skate, and not on the TV inside the dressing rooms. I cheered loudly when they called out his name and clapped along with the crowd every time he landed a jump. He did well. No mistakes bar a few legs that would make Mistress Ekaterina cringe.

"Silver will look good on you." I said quietly as I got up on the podium next to Javi.

"Yeah, yeah. You won by 3 points." He muttered. "Don't get too excited."

"3 points got me this." I held up my gold medal when the president of something or other skating company hung it around my neck.

"Next time." He said sulkily and hopped up to join me at the top along with Vincent Zhou, the American skater who won the bronze medal.

"Can you move closer?" A photographer asked and I hesitated. I wasn't even sure why. Putting your arm around your competitors was completely normal for photos, but there was just something about posing like that with Javi that made me pause. My arm floated in the space behind his back and I dropped it before I looked like an idiot. I realized after a second that it probably made me look even stranger not to when Javi's arm slipped around my waist. He gave me a little squeeze that made my cheeks flush pink and I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Smile."

"I am smiling."

"Are you smiling like 'I won a gold medal', or is it a 'I'm about to punch you in the face' smile?"

"Definitely about to punch you in the face." I quipped and Vincent snorted.

"Well done to all the skaters today." The announcer droned on and Javi and I drifted back to Coach Brian and Tracy waiting on the sidelines.

"So proud of you!" Tracy gave us both a hug.

"You boys did good today."

"Can we get the day off?" Javi asked and there was a long silence while they stared each other down.

"One day." Coach Brian said and Javi whooped.

"You hear that, Dumpling. A whole day." I rolled my eyes.

"I need to go find my sister." I said.

I found Sana at the back near the dressing rooms, a large collection of black garbage bags around her feet.

"Uh...what happened?" I asked with a chuckle.

"You happened." She flicked her hair and raised her eyebrow. "These are all for you."

"What?" I blinked at her. "What's for me?"

"You don't remember all the Winnie the Pooh's that were flying towards you after you finished skating?"

"I..." I remember I'd seen a few people throwing some on the ice on my way back but... "All of these?" I asked, picking a bag at random and opening it. Sana was right. Inside, the bag was stuffed full of Winnie the Pooh bears. "What the hell?"

"There are letters too." She said, pointing to a box beside her that I hadn't seen.

"What..." I scratched my head laughing. "What am I supposed to do with all of these?" I barely had enough space in my room for myself, let alone so many bears.

"Did you find Sana?" I heard Javi ask behind me. "Whoa...what's all this?"

"Craziness." I said helplessly and Sana snickered. Javi stopped by the bag I had open in front of me.

"Are those all bears?" He laughed. "I didn't realize there were so many."

"Neither did I." I mumbled, picking one up out of the bag. "I don't know what to do. I know they threw them because they want me to have them but there are so many..."

"Yeah, this is a bit much..." Javi said, taking his own bear. "Too bad you can't give them all to Phillipe either." He said and hummed.

"Who is Phillipe?" Sana asked.

"He's one of Mistress Ekaterina's ballet students. Yuzu gave him one of his bears for good luck."

"Is that the kid I've been seeing online on social media?"

"Probably." Javi shrugged while I tilted my head.

"I have an idea who I can give it to." I said and Javi shot me a questioning look. I just smiled and shook my head. "I know who I'll give them to."

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Wow. This is so cool." Phillipe muttered as he looked around the ice rink. I had been training here for so long, it was hard to look at it with new eyes. The ice, the walls...it was always the same.

"Come on, little monkey." I slapped him on the back. "Let's get laced up." He sat down next to me on the bench and watched me avidly as I tied my laces, then copied me efficiently, tugging on the laces and rotating his ankle to check the feel. "Good?"

"Good." He nodded once.

"Up you get." I said and watched him hobble his way after me onto the ice. Right now I could understand why this other teacher was treating their students 'like babies'. It was painful watching him stumble his way around on the ice. In my life time, I'd fallen more times than there were stars in the sky. It was art of skating. I also knew how fragile the human body was, especially when you were growing. I winced when Phillipe made a small noise and landed on his butt, but let him get back up by himself.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Hey. Everyone falls. You're good. Let's start with trying to get to the other end." I said and he pursed his lips resolutely.

I groaned as I dropped back on my bed and closed my eyes when I caught a whiff of Yuzu's cologne. He'd left a few days ago but the smell of him on my sheets was still strong. It took 6 rings for him to answer.

"Moshi moshi?" Yuzu blinked into the camera and rubbed his eyes.

"Te extraño." I said softly and he paused.

"Javi?" The way his smile altered his voice made my lips twitch too.

"Seguías dormido?"

"You know I can't understand you, right?"

"Te dije que aprendieras." I chuckled as he huffed in frustration.

"Javi..."

"No tienes que entenderme. Solamente quería escuchar tu voz."

"You know it's 5am here. I was enjoying sleeping in..." He yawned sleepily and I wanted to brush my finger over the screen. He did look tired. Now I felt bad. This was his first real sort of break since training had gotten more intense the last few weeks.

"Lo siento. Lo olvidé."

"Do you have a subtitles button on you somewhere?" He murmured with a pout. "OK. OK. I get it. Learn some Spanish." I grinned at him and he rolled his eyes. "Do you have to look so happy about it?"

"Soy muy feliz." I murmured. "I'll let you go back to sleep, OK?"

"Omae wa...hontou ni..." He clicked his tongue and sighed heavily. "I'll talk to you later, OK?"

"Mmm." I hummed and he hesitated before blowing a kiss at the phone and hanging up. I let my hand drop on the bed with a soft thud. It's been a while since I wished it was already competition day.

"Thanks Javi." Phillipe waved as he left the rink and I started tiding up the cones from the ice. When I'd started skating, my teacher had used them to help me focus moving in a straight line on the ice and they seemed to be working for Phillipe too. I could tell he was anxious to move on to the cool stuff but he was patient enough to know that he needed the right foundation first. I had to thank Mistress Ekaterina for that.

"You're good with him." I heard behind me and looked up to see Coach Brian leaning on one of the pillars by the rail.

"You sound surprised." I spluttered, vaguely affronted.

"I know Mistress Ekaterina likes you. I took her reports with a grain of salt."

"Better slow down on the tequila." I muttered and Coach Brian pushed off the wall, moving closer.

"He's improving quickly. I'm impressed." He said. I nodded slowly and stacked the cones over by the station we kept the rest of the skating equipment. "Maybe ne day you'll take my job, Kid."

"Your job?"

"Coaching." He said seriously. "You should think about it. For when this is all over." All...over? My heart stuttered painfully and even after he left and I could hear my breathing echo in the rink, it was all I COULD think about. What the hell was I going to do when this was all over?

By the time I boarded my flight to Tokyo, I was a knot of energy. I had barely slept at all and as nervous as I was for the start of the Four Continents and how it would affect my chances for the Olympic games, I was itching to see Yuzu. Literally. I scratched at my arms constantly during the flight and bounced in my seat like there were ants in my pants.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Coach Ghislain grumbled and I gave him an apologetic smile.

"We'll get there when we get there, Javi." Coach Brian said with a raised eyebrow. "Just relax."

"I know." I grunted and settled back in my seat. It was a long flight.

I ditched my coaches as soon as I had my bags in hand and grabbed the first taxi I spotted when I hit fresh air. I showed the driver the address and he smiled when I asked him to please take me there in Japanese.

"Your Japanese is good."

"My...um..." I stumbled over the word. "The um...person I'm dating is Japanese." I could feel my cheeks getting hot. The taxi driver laughed heartily.

"Yes. The best way to learn."

I thanked my driver when I got to the hotel and just about fell over my feet getting to the front desk to check in. The clerk seemed like she was half asleep and I swear she was taking longer on purpose just to torture me.

"Here is your key, Sir." She held out the card for me and I snatched it out of her hand before she was even finished speaking.

"Arigatou." I threw over my shoulder and made my way upstairs. Yuzu had said he was on the 4th floor in Room 6. He was booked in with his mother and I knew his agent and others in his entourage were in the surrounding rooms. I had gotten Room 8 on the 6th floor so I headed up there first to dump my bags.

The 4th floor was quiet and I knocked on the door gently. I don't know why, but I held my breath when I heard soft footsteps coming towards the door. I let it out in a whoosh of disappointment when it wasn't Yuzu who answered.

"Mrs Hanyu." I said and she giggled as gracefully as a woman her age could.

"Javier. Come on in. You can wait for Yuzu inside. He's just in the shower." She said and I had to suck in a breath. Yuzu in the shower... I had only ever seen Yuzu shower once or twice and it was a sight I wouldn't soon forget. Water loved Yuzu's skin almost as much as he loved the ice. Tiny droplets always clung to the curves of his skin for dear life. I particularly liked to follow the really stubborn ones with my tongue but it looked like I wouldn't get the chance to do that today...yet.

"Sit. I'll make you some tea."

"Thank you, Mrs Hanyu."

"You don't have to keep calling me Mrs Hanyu." She said with a smile.

"Uh..." I knew Yuzu's mother didn't exactly dislike me as much as she had before, but I didn't think there was anything else I could call her besides her name and that was a big no-no.

"Mrs Hanyu makes me sound old." She said serenely. "Which, despite all the grey hair, I do not feel."

"You aren't old, Okaasan." I started when I heard his voice beside me. "Hi." He smiled when I met his eyes. His hair was still wet and a tiny droplet fell on his cheek when he leaned down to press his lips on mine. My eyes drifted to his mother...she looked absorbed enough with the tea...

I held on to Yuzu before he could move away and poured as much emotion as I could into a kiss that lasted only two seconds. I felt like I hadn't seen him in forever.

"Hi." I whispered back against his lips and he gasped slightly.

"Do you want some tea, Yuzu?" He pulled back quickly and righted his shirt that had been crumpled in my fist just now.

"Tea would be nice, Okaasan." He answered and ignored me when I tried to pull him on my lap, sitting in the chair next to me. I gave him a look but he just smiled at me eerily much like his mother had.

"Thank you, Mrs Ha - " I bit my tongue at the look on her face and looked to Yuzu for help but he just stared at me blankly. I chuckled uncomfortably and wracked my brain. Aunty wasn't right. Ma'am - no. What the hell was I supposed to call her? "Okaasan?" Slipped out of my mouth, a little like a question and I grimaced internally at the silence that followed.

Uh oh.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Okaasan?" Javi's face scrunched up as he muttered the word uncertainly. My eyes went to my mother who looked a little surprised. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes were slightly round. It was quiet for what felt like ages before my mother visibly pulled herself together and sat down at the table with her own cup of tea.

"I'm sorry. Was that - " Javi blurted out when she opened her mouth but she smiled at him softly and shook her head.

"No." She murmured. "I don't mind if you call me Okaasan. I just realized..." She trailed off slowly and looked at me carefully from across the table.

"Realized what?" I asked.

"Nandemonai." She smiled again and took a sip of her tea. "Will you boys be going straight to practice?" The competition was only on Friday so we had a couple of days.

"Coach said we'll go down to the rink this evening." Javi answered her. I watched the both of them as they fumbled their way around in a mess of Japanese and English, trying to figure out the strange expression my mother had on her face. Hmm.

I raised my eyebrow at Javi when we entered the elevator and he pressed number 6 instead of the ground floor.

"I thought you said you wanted me to show you around Tokyo?"

"I do." He said as the door closed. "But we can do that later."

"Javi..." I chuckled softly. He smirked at me but said nothing as we rode up the two floors. I followed after him as he led me to his room and slid past him when he opened the door for me with a flourish. There wasn't much of a difference between his room and mine...except for the fact that there was only one bed.

I was pulling off my jacket when Javi came up behind me and pressed his lips on the back of my neck.

"I missed you..."

"I missed you too." I whispered, shivering when his stubble grazed over my skin. I sank into him when he tugged me back against his chest.

"Tu piel es muy suave." He murmured in my ear. "No quiero dejar de tocarte." I didn't understand what he was saying at all, but my skin still rippled with goose bumps. There was nothing sexier in this world than Javi whispering in my ear in Spanish. I moaned his name when his hands slipped under my shirt and my eyes fluttered shut when they brushed over my nipples.

I was grateful when he moved us over to the bed before my knees could give out under me. I fell back on it with a bounce and just lay there for a moment, taking in the sight of Javi stripping off his clothes. Damn. I had been a little aroused since the moment he'd kissed me behind my mother's back, but now I was so hard I felt like I was going crazy. He tsked when he noticed I was still dressed and I swallowed hard when he gripped the bottom of my pants and jerked them off with one strong pull.

"Off." He gestured at my shirt and I wrestled it off while he climbed onto the bed, hovering over me. My shirt hadn't even hit the floor before Javi was on me, latching his mouth onto my neck and biting gently. I couldn't help arching into his touch when his hands slid around my waist.

"Hayaku..." I mumbled and clawed my nails along the length of his back to pull him closer to me. "I want you inside me."

"I know, baby." He replied, and pushed my legs apart with his knees. I hissed when his lube-slick fingers slid into me, stretching me slowly to get me ready. "OK?" He asked me when I started to rock my hips. When I nodded he shifted between my legs and finally pushed inside with a burn that was so familiar to me now it made me want to cry with pleasure.

"Onegai..."

"Qué quieres?."

"Move." I panted into his ear and he groaned harshly, digging his hands into my sides and thrusting so hard it took my breath away. "Fuck. Oh God." It was impossible to keep my eyes open. I couldn't see anyway. All I saw was stars. "Javi..."

"You feel so good." He huffed and I moaned in agreement. He felt so good. So so good. It had been only a few days but each day we'd been apart felt almost torturous. There was no way I was going to last near long enough. I could already feel the tingles starting at the base of my spine, shivers running through my body.

I knew Javi could feel it too when his hand drifted up into my hair. I fought the urge to keep my eyes closed because I knew he wanted me to look at him. It was embarrassing; I don't know why he liked it so much, but I never said no. Javi looked into my eyes as my orgasm flowed through me and the look in his own eyes made me forget I was embarrassed for a moment.

"Kimochi?" I nodded in a daze and curled myself around him when he fell on top of me again, nuzzling at my neck and pushing for his own climax.

"I'm sorry." Javi said as I pulled at my collar.

"No you aren't." I shot back and he laughed out loud, causing the sales lady to look in our direction again. I had been wondering if she had maybe recognized me when we first walked in from the way she was looking at me, but then I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror when I walked past one. Javi had really done a number on my neck today. There were no hickeys or bite marks like there were sometimes but it was a very bright red on one side all the way up to my chin and zipping up my jacket didn't help cover it.

"I'll buy you some cream."

"You need to shave." I mumbled, browsing through the clothes on the rack in front of me. To be honest, I didn't shop for clothes much. I spent so much time on the ice that it seemed ridiculous that I would even have time to wear things like a pair of jeans; but with Javi forcing me to go out more often, I needed something that didn't look like I'd just rolled out of the gym. The one pair that I owned was starting to wear thin.

"Take these. These will look good on you." Javi pointed to a pair of dark jeans that had rips and tears all over the place.

"What?" I frowned at them. "No. Hell no. Is this even ...you can see right through these." I hissed when I held them up.

"You have the sexiest legs in the world. Why are you hiding them?" He replied and I elbowed him in the stomach, looking around to see if anyone had heard him.

"Don't say that." I huffed.

"You do though." He grinned at me and I rolled my eyes, moving away from the evil jeans section.

Shopping aside, it was nice being able to take Javi out for once. I was still new to Canada and mostly just followed him around to visit all the places he liked in Toronto; but Tokyo was as much my home as Sendai. I knew all the best places to take him to and if we weren't exhausted after practice tonight, I was hoping I could drag him along with me to Daikanransha. Night time was really the best time to go.

We were just finished with dinner at my favourite noodle restaurant when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Owari desu ka?" He asked me and I smiled.

"Hai. We have to go." I showed him the alarm I set so we'd make it back in time for practice. He sighed heavily and dragged his feet as we headed outside to find a taxi.

"Is the hotel far from here?" He asked.

"Not too far." I peeked at him sideways. "Why?"

"Let's just walk." He shrugged. "Fresh air." I blinked at him but he was right. It would be nice to just go for a walk.

"OK."

"OK?"

"Mmm." I hummed and stuck my hands in my pocket, setting off down the street. He jogged to catch up with me and hooked his arm around my shoulder. "Hey..."

"Relax. No one is even looking at us." He said with a smile. Then, faster than I could react, he smacked a quick kiss on the side of my temple. I froze in the middle of the sidewalk, but his eyes were sparkling happily.

"You see. The world didn't end." He said, but I was too afraid to move. "Yuzu..." He reached up to cup my cheeks in his warm hands. "Relax." He said again. "It's dark already so no one can even see who we are. It's fine." I finally gathered enough courage to look around me and I let out a breath when I saw that he was right. No one was standing there and gaping at the both of us. Everyone was still going about their business like we weren't even there. It was ...disturbing.

"Come on." Javi said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along down the street. "If we're late for practice and Coach freaks out, I'm blaming you."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Nervous?" Javi asked me while we were getting ready in the changing rooms. I shook my head but I couldn't open my mouth otherwise he'd see I was completely flat out lying. I don't know if it was being back here in Japan, but it just made me so much more anxious. This crowd was different. This crowd knew me, they cheered for me because I was a symbol of pride for them, a showcase of sorts to the world. The pressure was so so much worse here than anywhere else. What if they really didn't like me anymore? Had my move to Canada screwed everything up? Was I going to disappoint them?

"Yuzu." Javi touched my shoulder softly and made me turn back around so he could look me in the eye. "Don't be nervous."

"I'm not." I whispered.

"It's OK if you are, but you don't have any reason to be." He said, stepping closer and squeezing gently. "You're going to do great."

"I ..." I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, leaning forward into his strong presence until my forehead touched his.

"You're going to be great." He repeated. "Well, only as great as silver. We both know you never get gold at Four Continents." His chest rumbled with laughter and I punched him in the stomach making him cough dramatically.

"Shut up."

"I'm going to tell Okaasan you swore at me."

"Shut up is not a swear word."

"Do you want to try say that to her face?" He raised his eyebrow and I held his gaze for as long as I could before I cracked.

"You're so bad."

"Birds of a feather, baby." He cackled as he ruffled my hair and dragged me with him as we left the room to go look for Coach Brian.

When I heard my name over the speakers in the rink, my heart beat hard against my chest in an unsteady rhythm. I stepped onto the ice and skated one more lap just to get a feel for it again, shaking my legs out and making sure my blades were solid.

"Yuzu..." I skidded to a stop and spotted Javi leaning on the padded rails. "You forgot something." He said and I couldn't stop the smile that grew on my face when he lifted up a Winnie the Pooh doll, setting it down in front of him on the rail.

"Pooh-san." I shuffle over and brushed my hand over the bear's head. "How could I forget you?" The fur on the doll was golden and clean. "Is this new?"

"I found it yesterday." He explained. "It's a tissue box." He laid it down flat on its belly and I saw some white tissue peeking out from a slot at the back.

"What?" I laughed.

"For your nose." When I spent too much time on the ice, which was all the time really, my nose would start to run after a bit. I always had a box of tissues ready with me... I took one quickly and wiped my nose even though I didn't need to. Javi made a face when I crushed it into a ball and threw it at him. "Thank you."

"Hurry up. Everyone's waiting for you." He said softly and I took a deep breath, gave the doll one last touch before I spun around and made my way to the middle of the ice. Somehow Javi had managed to calm the nerves causing havoc in my stomach when my music came on it wasn't nearly as hard to focus as I thought it would be.

"Can you smile for the camera, Yuzuru-san?" A reporter asked me and I beamed at her happily, holding up my medal. "Congratulations." She said when she was done taking pictures and I bowed deeply.

"Thank you." I gushed and startled when I stood up and Javi was standing in front if me instead of the reporter. "Huh...where did she go?"

"Who?" He blinked.

"The ...never mind." I was grinning again. "Do you want to say anything to me?"

"Yeah." He huffed. "Your fly is open."

"WHAT?" I panicked and looked down, but Javi was already laughing. I sighed in exasperation and hobbled back to the ice again so we could do a group photo.

"Yuzu. Wait, wait." He called out but I rushed for a spot in the middle of the group. He squeezed his way in though and I tried to keep my face blank when I felt him behind me.

"Can everyone just scoot in a little closer?" The photographer asked and I squeaked when suddenly I couldn't see anything. I wasn't exactly short but this batch of skaters made me look like I was still part of the junior division.

"Ah... can I just... excuse me? I just need - " I gasped when I felt arms wrap around my thighs and lift me into the air, my head popping up above all the other skaters. "Oh my God...Javi?" I checked to make sure and he winked at me.

"Smile." I let out a incredulous laugh and smiled for the camera.

"Put me down." I tapped his shoulder and he let me go, but kept his arm around me so I didn't fall on the ice.

"Congrats on finally getting gold, Yuzuru." Shoma said seriously when he found me.

"Thank you." I elbowed Javi hard but he just grunted and ducked away from me, chasing after some of his own friends. "Congrats on getting bronze." I said to him.

"You and Javier make it difficult to aim for anything else." He muttered and I hooked my arm around his shoulder. He was probably the only skater here shorter than me right now.

"Don't say that. I know you've been working hard."

"The problem is, so have you." He replied. "I thought you were crazy switching coaches like you did...but I can see the improvement."

"Really?"

"Mmm." He hummed.

"Sana." I greeted my sister outside the dressing room. "You made it."

"Did you seriously think I would miss this?" She snorted. "Everyone at work wants your autograph by the way." She continued and I shook my head as a blush crept up my cheeks.

"Whatever. Did you collect all the dolls?"

"Yes. Okaasan has the rest." She patted the giant bag of Winnie the Pooh dolls that people had made a habit of throwing on the ice after I skated. "Are we going today or tomorrow?"

"Dokoni ittemasuka?" Javi asked as he popped up around the corner.

"Sendai." My sister smiled at him and they bumped fists. "Osashibiri. Genki desu ka?"

"Hai. Genki desu." Javi answered in Japanese and I frowned at the both of them.

"What? He said he wanted to learn Japanese." Sana said like it was obvious.

"You asked my sister?" I gaped at him. "You're such a cheater!" I scoffed thinking about his earlier request for me to learn Spanish by myself. "Give me your phone." I held out my hand.

"What? Why?" He started backing away from me as I stalked forward.

"I need to call Laura."

"No, what the hell? I'm not giving you my sister's number."

"Javi."

"Get away from me."

"JAVI!"

"Sana!" He ducked behind my sister and almost knocked over a pole with the ISU flag. "Tasukete."

"Who is supposed to help ME?" I whined. "Fine, I'll leave Laura alone." He eyed my hand that was still held out in front of me.

"So who are you going to call?"

"Your mother." I smiled at him sweetly and his face paled.

"Fu - OK. Fine, whatever. I'll give you my sister's number." He sighed in defeat.

Chapter Text

Javier:

"This is your hometown?" I asked Yuzu as we entered Sendai. He nodded slowly, watching the scenery as we drove past.

"It still looks the same." He said quietly.

"Why would it change?" I chuckled and he blinked at me.

"No, it's ...I mean after the earthquake. It's still the same." He said and I saw what he meant when we drove past a building that was more or less just a pile of rubble now.

"Oh..." I sobered at the thought of a young Yuzu being trapped under a pile of rubble and a swift wave of nausea hit me so hard I couldn't even swallow. I met his eyes when I felt his hand rest over mine. He looked at me questioningly but I just shook my head.

It didn't take much longer to get to his house. His face lit up as soon as the car pulled up in the driveway and he was out like a shot, disappearing through the front door before I even got out.

"Ai, he's so ..." Okaasan sighed fondly when she couldn't think of a word. I hooked my arm around hers with a smile and led her up the pathway.

"If he was anything else, he wouldn't be Yuzu."

"I wouldn't have so many gray hairs." She quipped back and I laughed out loud. I could hear Yuzu laughing inside the house as well as we stepped through the front door.

"You've gotten bigger." A strong stocky man was saying to Yuzu in Japanese, patting him on the chest.

"Of course I did." He beamed when he spotted his mother and I, skipping over quickly. "Javi. Come, I want you to meet my father." He gestured happily and dragged me closer. "Otousan, this is Javi. My..." His face flickered briefly with a small grimace and his eyes went to his mother.

"His boyfriend. The one I told you about." She said helpfully as she took off her coat.

"The one..." Yuzu laughed to cover his nervousness. "Is there another one I don't know about?" His mother laughed sharply and left us in the foyer, vanishing somewhere around the corner. Probably the kitchen.

Silence.

"What did you say his name was again?" His father asked and Yuzu's cheeks flushed darker.

"His name is Javier, Otousan." He mumbled.

"Javier?" He raised his eyebrow at me and I froze, not really sure what I was supposed to do. I know Yuzu bowed a lot when he met people and it had started to become a habit of mine too...

"Konnichiwa." I dipped low, squeezing my hands anxiously. "Hajime mashite. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."

"You can speak Japanese?" His eyes stayed glued to my face.

"Uh...only a little." I chuckled awkwardly.

"Sana is teaching him." Yuzu said and his father just nodded.

"I see."

"Your father hates me." I hissed into the darkness.

"He doesn't hate you." Yuzu laughed. I snorted and rolled over to face him.

"He barely spoke to me."

"That doesn't mean anything." He huffed. "He's a quiet person."

"I don't believe you."

"Whether you believe me or not doesn't mean it isn't true." He pointed out.

"Whatever." I grumbled and rolled back so I was looking up at the ceiling. I couldn't see it though. Yuzu had some serious black out curtains in his room for those times when he really needed to get to sleep before competitions. After a quick lunch with his family we'd retreated to his room to catch up on some sleep before we went wherever it was that he was taking me.

"Javi."

"What?" I grunted miserably. I got a fright when I felt the him sneak under my blanket on my separate bed. "Huh?" He had been insistent on us sleeping separately so we could actually get some sleep...

"I'm serious." He said softly near my ear. "He really doesn't. Don't worry about it."

"OK." I breathed in the smell of his shampoo when he tucked his head under my chin.

When the car pulled up in front of the gigantic sparkling steel and white building, I sat in my seat a little confused.

"I don't get it..."

"Out. Out, out." Sana pushed me out of the car so she could get out too.

"Ta-da!" Yuzu made jazz hands at the building but no matter how hard I tried, I still didn't understand why we were standing in front of a hospital.

"We got the bags. You go ahead." Sana shooed us forward and I shuffled inside with Yuzu.

"I know you're confused." He said with a smile.

"Good." He tsked and smacked my arm.

"I told you before. That I had an idea for what to do with all the Winnie the Pooh dolls I get after I skate." He started and I suddenly got it. "After the earthquake, something as simple and bright and happy as a doll helped me get through the day." He took a look around at the hospital as we strolled through it. "I know that there are a lot of little children who might still need that. It doesn't matter if it's an earthquake or a broken arm or cancer." His lips thinned gravely. "If I can help put a smile on another child's face... that would make me really happy."

He looked like he was nervous that I would think his idea was stupid which was fucking ridiculous beyond belief.

"I think that's a really beautiful idea, Yuzu."

"You do?" He folded his arms over his chest and worried his bottom lip.

"Why on earth would this be a bad idea?" I asked when we saw Sana and Okaasan stumble through the doors with a large bag on a big pull-trolley.

"I don't know." He shrugged and scuffed the floor with his sneaker. "So many celebrities do stuff like this all the time. I guess it feels like ..." He sighed and lifted his shoulders again. "Like people would laugh at me. Maybe it would be better just to give them money, which they really need by the way, rather than some stupid plush toys."

"Yuzu, nothing about this is stupid." I grabbed him by the shoulders so he would stop fidgeting. "What kids don't love getting new toys? Hmm? And yes, you could give them money, but you just said it a second ago. Money isn't going to put a smile on their faces. Money doesn't make them feel special and warm inside. Please don't think this is stupid. What you're doing is amazing."

"Really?" He whispered and I pulled him closer to give him a hug. I kept it innocent enough since we were in public but I did press my lips on his temple for a moment.

"This is bag number one, guys." Sana huffed. "We still have 2 more hospitals to go to tonight. Let's get a move on!"

"Let's go!" Okaasan cheered in English making Yuzu laugh.

"Yes! Lets vamos!" I pushed a giggling Yuzu towards the elevators.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Karaoke?"

"Mmmhm."

"Yuzu." Javi turned his head to look at me. "I don't know if you know this...but I suck at singing." He looked so serious that I burst out laughing.

"I know." I pulled him forward into the private booth that had bright strobe lights flashing on and off already. "Neither can I."

"But ..."

"Here." I handed him a microphone. "Do you want to pick a song or should I?"

"I don't trust you." He grumbled and I blinked at him.

"What? Why not?"

"I just don't."

"Liar."

"Shut up."

"I'm telling Okaasan." I said and he cackled loudly into his microphone.

"Oh my God, you are such a little shit." I stuck my tongue out and picked up the remote to choose a song.

I watched Javi put his last bag in the car before he closed the trunk and sauntered around to lean on the back door.

"Are you going to miss me?" He smiled.

"It's just 3 weeks."

"JUST 3 weeks?" His eyes widened. "It's hard enough spending 3 hours away from you." He pouted.

"Stop being a baby." I chuckled. He stuck his bottom lip out even further and I rolled my eyes. "That doesn't work on me." He huffed loudly and opened his arms.

"Come on, then. Give me a hug. I need to go now." I didn't move right away but just before his face twisted into another pout I shuffled close enough for him to drag me into a hug. I sighed against his chest and his arms squeezed me tighter.

"I might miss you a little bit."

"Mmm?" He hummed and I nodded. A small lump started forming in my throat because it was really only sinking in now how long 3 weeks were...but Javi needed to get back to training for the Grand Prix in Toronto and I still had a few commitments I had to work my way through in Japan. It was easier just to stay here and train at my old rink before we hopped over to Shanghai.

It was a little reckless, I know, but I was feeling melancholy all of a sudden and I clung to him longer than I should have. I didn't want to think about how long it would be before I could touch him like this again...or kiss him again... My lips found his quickly and even though it was cold today, they were warm and soft and I wanted to melt into his heat even more.

"Yuzu." Sana's voice was close to my ear. "I need to get to work, can you two stop making out in the driveway." I kicked her lightly when she sneaked past us but Javi held me back from doing more damage.

"I have to go, OK? I'll call you when I get home."

"Say hello to Phillipe for me." Javi smiled and blew me a kiss.

"Why can't he stay again?" My mother asked me while Sana started the car and I leaned on her shoulder.

"I told you, he has to train."

"He can train here." She said like it was obvious.

"I can't ask him to stay in Japan, Okaasan. I'm too busy and he doesn't know anyone else here."

"He knows Shoma-kun."

"Shoma is busy too."

"He knows me." I laughed softly at how unhappy she sounded.

"Let's go inside. It's cold."

"Yuzuru-san?" I lifted my head to see who was calling me.

"Hi." I smiled at Yuko-san, my interviewer for today. "Is everyone here already?"

"They're in the next room, yes." She returned the smile. "You can go through. I'll just be one minute."

"Yuzu-chan!" Rika waved vigorously as soon as I entered the room.

"Rika-chan." I replied with the same enthusiasm and she laughed in surprise. "Miki. Akko-chan." I nodded at each of them before sitting down at the table with a sigh.

"Long day?"

"I have practice after this." I groaned.

"Same." Rika piped up.

"Poor babies."

"Quitters." I rolled my eyes at Miki and Akiko. "I can't imagine ever retiring."

"You can't skate forever." Miki laughed and I threw her a haughty look.

"Watch me."

"Thank you for waiting." Yuko-san said as she breezed back in the room. "I know how busy you all are so we should get started."

"Wait." I looked around the table. "Is Oda-san not coming?"

"Flu." Akiko explained.

"Ah...sorry, Yuko-san." I gestured for her to continue.

The interview was mainly about the biggest annual skating show in Japan that I always participated in with my fellow Japanese skaters, along with some other big names in the figure skating world.

"Are you excited about the new cities you'll be visiting in this tour of Fantasy on Ice?"

"Of course." I replied. "New cities always gives you a chance to meet new fans."

"And for those of us 'quitters'..." Miki said with a small smirk in my direction. "We get to sight-see and eat a lot. Go to Karaoke."

"I went to karaoke last night." I quipped.

"What?" Akiko said with round eyes. "You went out? For fun?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" I laughed out loud.

"Miki, did you know Yuzu-kun knows the word 'fun'?" Miki cracked up, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I know how to have fun. I enjoy a lot of things other than skating." I grumbled.

"Yuzuru-san. Is there anyone you're looking forward to skating with this year?"

"Evgeni." Akiko answered for me, giggling slightly. "There's no one Yuzu-kun loves skating more with than Evgeni and Sasha."

"That's true." I nodded. "But I'm also looking forward to skating with Javi this year." It wasn't his first year at FaOI, but I'd never really mingled much with the other skaters at events like that so we'd never spoken.

"Since you brought him up, what is it like training with your biggest rival?" Yuko-san asked, but everyone at the table turned to look at me. Was everyone really that curious?

"People hear the word rival and assume we're enemies. I've never looked at Javi that way." Not really. I pursed my lips as I tried to explain. "I think training together, makes it more of a challenge because there are no secrets between us now, but it also makes winning so much more worth it, you know? Because we both know we put out our best."

"Waah. Yuzu-chan is so cool." Rika snickered and I punched her shoulder playfully.

"Yuzuru-san always seems like he's a very serious person." Yuko-san commented. "But is that wrong?" She asked the others around the table. "He looks very playful today."

"He is very serious." Miki nodded and looked at me, tilting her head. "He's not usually like this."

"Usually Yuzu-kun is alone in a corner, with his earphones in." Akiko said with a laugh. "That's the first image that comes to mind when I think of him."

"Yes. He is different lately, isn't he?"

"Very."

"I think it's cute."

"Everything is cute to you, Rika."

"Do you think you've been different lately, Yuzuru-san? Is there maybe a reason..." She trailed off slowly and Miki whispered,

"He wasn't like this before he met Javi."

Chapter Text

Javier:

"I made you hot chocolate."

"How am I supposed to drink it all the way over here?"

"I drank it for you."

"How generous of you." Yuzu said drolly and I snickered. Yuzu's cheeks rounded into those perfect little dumplings and I wanted to kiss him so badly.

"How many interviews today?"

"Just the one with Matsuda Sensei . Then I have a school visit." Yuzu hummed. "That one I'm nervous about."

"Why? You love kids?" I said, kicking at the ice under my skates.

"Kids ask so many questions. Sometimes they're worse than journalists." He chuckled. He spotted something I couldn't see behind his phone and sighed softly. "There's my mom. I have to go."

"I'll call you later, OK."

"Okaasan, I'm coming." He grumbled as he hung up. I sighed as I skated back to my bag at the side of the rink to tuck my phone inside the side pocket.

"Javi. When you lock up later please check that Tracy is gone first." Coach Brian said with a raised eyebrow as he gathered his things.

"Oh my God. It was ONE time!" I exclaimed. "I didn't know she was still here."

"That's why I'm telling you to check." He huffed, opening his mouth to launch into another lecture but I was saved by a beep on his phone. "Be good. Don't break anything."

"I won't."

"The kid counts as anything, just by the way." He called as he was leaving.

"I'm not going to break Phillipe." I snorted and spun back on the ice to do a few more practice jumps before Phillipe showed up. I had had trouble nailing the landing for my quad axel in Tokyo but it must have just been nerves. It seemed OK now.

"Wow! That was so cool." I heard Phillipe crow from the side of the rink half an hour later, eyes wide as he watched me circle around to him. "Can you teach me how to do that today?"

"Walk before you can fly, little one. Baby steps." I ruffled his hair as I skated past. "Come on. Skates on."

"You OK?" Cal asked me as he waved another beer in my face quizzically. I said no to the beer and shrugged to answer his question. "What's up? Nervous for the next comp?"

"Not really."

"Homesick?" He tried again. I snorted and shook my head again.

"No." After Shanghai we'd be heading for Madrid soon. My mother was probably bursting at the seams already. I knew Laura was, though she'd been silent lately ever since I'd given her number to Yuzu. My eyes narrowed suspiciously and I took a sip of water.

"You've been quiet ever since you got back from Japan. Is Yuzuru still up ...ah..." He said, light dawning in his eyes. "I get it now."

"Get what?"

"You miss him." He said with a massive grin on his face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I mumbled even though he was right on the money and him pointing it out only made me feel even worse. I missed Yuzu. A lot. I bit my bottom lip to keep from admitting it out loud though. I didn't really have a problem telling my friends that Yuzu and I were more than just friends per se, but I knew it freaked Yuzu out to have even just our family know about the two of us together.

"Dude, you act like we haven't seen how you two are around each other. And I've seen the videos. Trust me. It's cool." He patted me on the back with his large hand. "I told you before; if you're happy, I'm happy. "

"Wait, what videos?" I blinked at him and he coughed as he choked on his beer.

"You haven't seen the videos?" He spluttered.

"WHAT videos?" I repeated.

"Javi..." He put his beer down on the counter next to us and reached behind him to pull his phone out his back pocket. "My sister has been showing me these for like a week now. But they've definitely been around for longer than that."

"Show me." I held out my hand for his phone and he pursed his lips.

"Alright, alright. Hold your damn horses." He grumbled while he typed. After a moment he held out his phone and I snatched it out of his hand rather rudely. I couldn't help it though. I was a little worried about what these videos were that would make my friend guess about our relationship.

"Yuzu...vier?" I frowned at the name in the search bar. "What the hell is this?" I asked, scrolling down the screen. More and more videos flew by.

"It's a combination of your names. Duh."

"Duh." I said with a sarcastic eye roll. "I know that. But I don't understand..."

"Ever since they did that interview and they showed that video of you two skating together during training, apparently quite a few people have been obsessed with proving you guys are together."

"I ..." I stared at his phone blankly when I clicked on one of the videos and it started to play. It was a little disconcerting to watch myself. I rarely did except when Coach Brian made me watch back my performances to show me where I messed up. And in these videos...Did I really look like that when I looked at Yuzu? Was I that much of a lovesick puppy? "How did they even get these?" I murmured when a video of Yuzu and I eating lunch together popped up and little hearts were swimming by on the screen.

"Fans are scary these days." Cal snorted. "If you're not careful, one day there'll be a video of you on the toilet online for the whole world to see." He said with a strange look on his face.

"Why would I be careful in the damn...never mind." I said and went back to the video. There were so many of them. So many stolen moments between Yuzu and I, from recent competitions we'd been to, practice and outside of practice. Suddenly I understood why Yuzu had been so paranoid when I'd grabbed his hand in Japan. I guess I was pretty popular as a figure skater but Spain as a country wasn't known for its figure skating so it made me less recognizable. Yuzu on the other hand had been voted the most popular athlete in Japan twice in a row. He was much more likely to be followed around than I was.

"This is crazy though." I whispered. I stared at the screen in fascination at just how many Yuzuvier videos were online. Some people had way too much time on their hands.

"Hey, at least its positive, right? Cal said, smacking me on the back again. "Like I was telling you my sister has been showing them to me all week. She thinks it's adorable. Everyone does."

"They do?" I tried to wrap my head around the concept of people thinking two grown men acting like idiots together as being adorable. Then I remembered Yuzu's giggles at karaoke when we'd been singing. That had been adorable as hell.

"Look at that smile." Cal chuckled. "Seriously. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." I mumbled distractedly handing his phone back to him. I was happy too...but these videos... I had to tell Yuzu.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I dragged myself out of the shower and barely managed to get some shorts on before I face-planted on the bed with a heavy grunt. We were in Hokkaido today and then it was off to wherever was next on my schedule. I was too tired to try and remember where right now. I nearly cried when my phone rang, the noise digging straight into my skull, echoing in my skull and making my headache worse. I crawled over to grab it where it was shivering on the side table.

"Moshi mosh?" I muttered without checking who it was, collapsing back on the bed again.

"Yuzu?"

"Mmm..." I hummed wearily

"Sleepy?" I could hear the smile in Javi's voice but I couldn't bring myself to do much more than grunt in response. "I'll let you go then. I can call you tomorrow."

"But I miss you..."

"I miss you too." He sighed. "I know you're busy. Only one more week." He said and I wanted to pull my hair out by the roots. Only one more week? It was insane. I'd gone my whole life without Javi but a few weeks without a sip of his hot chocolate and I was ready to go crazy.

It wasn't just the distance that was killing me though. I missed my home like mad but being back in Japan came with a whole other level of stress that I'd forgotten about in Toronto. It popped up in every interview now. Would I make Japan proud again and win another gold medal at the next Winter Olympics? It was too impossible for them not to be excited.

I was at my peak and dominating in the world standings at the moment. The possibility was there, for them at least if not for me. There hadn't been an Olympic champion that had successfully defended their title back to back in the last 60 and some change years. The hope in their eyes made my heart beat with anxiousness and my stomach twist with dread.

"One more week..." I said softly. I was too weak to hold back the tear that escaped from the corner of my eye.

"Just one more week." Javi repeated just as softly and I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I hoped I hadn't lost my mind by then.

"Yuzu." My mother tapped my arm to get my attention but I couldn't focus. Our plane had landed in Shanghai a couple of hours ago, but I hadn't been able to bear going to the hotel to wait for Javi. I jumped up out of my seat at the airport when the board said that his plane had landed and paced up and down the floor in front of the arrivals sign.

"Yuzu, will you sit please, you're making me dizzy."

"I don't want to ..." I trailed off when I saw a familiar curly head pop up in the crowd. "Javi." I giggled, almost delirious with happiness just at the sight of him. What the hell was wrong with me? "Javi!" His head whipped around and he grinned when he saw me, holding out his arms. I leaped straight into them and the relief I felt being enveloped in his smell was disturbing.

"Dumpling." He chuckled in my ear. "What are you doing here? Did you go to the hotel already?"

"I was waiting for you." I said when he let me go.

"Ah." He smiled and waved at my mother who was waiting for us further away. "We should hurry up then. We don't have much time to - "

"If the next words out of your mouth is not sleep, Mr Fernandez, there's going to be trouble." Coach Brian said behind us and I snickered when Javi made a face.

"Of course, Coach. Of course."

"Hmm." The look on Coach Brian's face said he didn't believe him, but he let it go, rolling the trolley of luggage past us. "Practice is in 4 hours. Use it wisely."

I trailed my hand down the curve of Javi's back and stopped at a purpling bruise on his lower back. I hadn't seen it in the mad scramble to get his clothes off earlier.

"What happened?" I asked and he snorted loudly into the pillow.

"Phillipe." He muttered and rolled his head to the side so I could see his face. "Little monkey tried to jump during practice and knocked both of us over." He didn't look angry though.

"He's trying jumps already?" I was surprised.

"Too impatient, that one." He mumbled, reaching out with a hand and brushing it along my cheek. "Reminds me of someone." I pursed my lips at him but his answering smile had me melting in seconds. I sank back onto the pillow, bringing his face closer to mine.

"You're the impatient one."

"Am not." I raised my eyebrow and he laughed. "I'm not!"

"Remind me again who was begging for me to hdbfwui." I chuckled in surprise when his lips crashed on mine quickly to stop me speaking. "You're so bad."

"Would you like me if I wasn't bad?" He asked with a cheeky smirk and I smacked him with the back of my hand. He swatted it away and crawled on top of me in the blink of an eye. "Would you?"

"I don't know." I answered him honestly. "I can't imagine it."

"I wasn't born a rebel, you know."

"Somehow I don't believe that."

"It's true."

"That's not what your sister says." I countered and he laughed loudly. He'd been asking if I had been talking to his sister since he gave me her number but I hadn't said anything about it until now.

"Can we not talk about my sister when I'm in bed with you. Naked." He said.

"You want to get dressed?" I asked to tease him and he rolled his eyes.

"Not a chance."

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"I don't want to talk." He murmured and I closed my eyes when he sank lower, pushing my legs apart and nipped lightly at my neck, his stubble scratching deliciously on my skin.

"Practice is in an hour." I whispered.

"Then I have 50 minutes."

"Javi!" I squealed when he started tickling my sides. "Oh my God, YAMATE!"

"Yuzu." Coach Brian nodded in my direction when I finished getting dressed in my skating costume. "You look...relaxed." He said and I don't know why it made me blush horribly. "Not nervous today?"

"I'm always nervous." I said and he gave me a pat on the back.

"Give me a second, I need to go find Tracy." He said. Coach Ghislain had been feeling a little sick so Tracy had come in his place this time. I was picking at a seam on my arm when I felt arms slide around my waist.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

"What about me?"

"I can't see you." I tried to hold back my smile.

"I look the same every day." Javi said sounding affronted.

"Are you saying I don't look beautiful every day?" I asked and he huffed into my shoulder.

"You look especially beautiful today. I like this costume."

"I think I gained weight." I mumbled. "It's getting tight here." I showed him the seam that was annoying me. "This is your fault."

"My fault?" He cackled with disbelief. "I didn't hold a gun to your head."

"Umai wa..." I muttered, shaking my head. "Come on. The rink should be open for warm up now."

"Give me a kiss first."

"If you can beat my score tonight, I'll give you a kiss." I winked as I ducked out from his arms. "What do you say?"

"Bring it, Baby!" Javi shouted as I jogged out of the dressing room.

Chapter Text

Javier:

"You're staring." I heard from next to me and I shook myself out of my trance to see who it was.

"Huh?" I smiled when I saw Miki leaning on the rails, looking at me with those deep brown eyes of hers. "Miki. How are you? What are you doing here?" I asked when she accepted my hug.

"I needed a vacation and Himawari wanted to come see the skaters." She said and I let out a short laugh. I knew when Miki had retired to give birth to her daughter, she had been terrified about being a mother. It looked like she'd figured it all out in the end.

"Where is she so I can say hi? Has she started skating yet?" I asked looking around the arena.

"She's hanging out with Carolina by the warm up rink." She pointed behind her. "She'll be a demon on the ice in a few years."

"What did you expect? Her mother is Miki Ando and she hangs out with Carolina Kostner." I winked at her and she smirked, turning around to lean on the rail again, elbows on the edge and resting her chin on her hand.

"Stop flirting with me. He'll get jealous."

"What?" I blinked at her.

"I told you. You were staring." She said with a laugh and glanced to left with her eyes. "And he hasn't stopped staring at you since you hugged me." I peeked over in the direction she was looking at and saw Yuzu spinning in slow circles with Shoma as they talked, but she was right. Yuzu had his eyes trained on us as he glided over the ice effortlessly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I chuckled awkwardly and leaned on the rail alongside her, watching Yuzu again.

"Right..." She dragged it out with sarcasm. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. If there's anyone to even tell." Her laugh tinkled in the cold air of the arena. "You two aren't exactly doing a good job hiding anything."

"How is retirement treating you? Bored yet?" I ignored her and she clicked her tongue to let me know she wasn't happy with the subject change, but answered anyway. A minute or so later I watched Yuzu skate over to where we were standing. It was distracting as hell seeing him in his costume. It didn't matter how many times I saw it, the way it clung to his body in all the right places and his waist, fucking hell... I ran my hand through my hair to keep myself from reaching out and touching him.

"Miki. Konnichiwa." He nodded at her politely and his eyes flashed back and forth between us before he gestured back to where Coach Brian and Tracy were sitting. "Coach said he needs to talk to us for a minute."

"Now?" I asked, already reaching down to take off my skate guards.

"I'll see you two later then. I need to go check on Sunny. Mata ne." Miki waved goodbye, heading back around the arena to the other rink.

"I didn't know you knew Miki." Yuzu said to me when Coach Brian was done giving us his speech on what he was expecting and which reporters had asked for interviews after the competition.

"Mmm. She trained in Milan so I saw her at the European competitions a lot." I replied and he hummed softly as he zig-zagged on the ice, checking his blades on last time.

"I see." He mumbled. "You two looked cozy."

"Did we?" He raised his eyebrow at me, saying nothing. "She's nice."

"She is." He said simply and pushed away to carry on with his warm up down the ice.

"Something wrong?" I asked when I caught up with him.

"No." He said in Japanese.

"Hontou ni?"

"Hontou."

"¿Por que siento que estás mintiéndome?"

"Go away." He huffed looking irritated and skated off to the side so he could follow the rail.

I smiled for the cameras as the flashes blinded me, holding up my medal and the bunch of flowers that they'd given me on the podium.
"Congratulations, Mr Fernandez." One of the reporters said and I nodded my thanks, but my mind was already on other things ... like certain promises that had been made earlier... as I shuffled over to where Yuzu was talking with some or other Japanese sports channel reporter.

"Shitsurei shimasu." I smiled when she noticed me and stumbled over her words. "Sumimasen. I just came over to tell Yuzu congrats on his silver medal."

"Sumi..." She blinked rapidly for a second. "...ah, Fernandez San, Nihongo o hanashimasu ka?"

"Watashi wa sukoshi Nihongo ga hanasemasu." I said with a laugh and she clapped happily while Yuzu glared at me. Or rather at the gold medal hanging around my neck.

"Sugoi, sugoi. Did Yuzuru San teach you Japanese?" She pressed.

"I've been teaching myself."

"Oh! That's amazing. You speak it very well." She giggled.

"Thank you. I ..." I paused when Yuzu walked off without saying anything. "Excuse me." I hurried after him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to a corner of the rink that was fairly quiet. "What is wrong with you today?"

"Nothing." He said, jutting his chin out and crossing his arms.

"Yuzu." I sighed and placed my hands on his shoulders, squeezing gently and waiting for him to look me in the eyes. "What's wrong?" He didn't say anything for a long time, but I could be patient for a little while and eventually he sighed softly, his shoulders dropping slightly.

"It's really nothing. I'm just being stupid."

"I'm sure it's not that stupid." I nudged him a little. "Tell me."

"I just... wanted to ...win..." He muttered quietly.

"Yuzu... it's not stupid to want to win." I chuckled as I pulled him forward into my chest and held on tight. "We all WANT to win." Yuzu just happened to win more than everyone else. I never really thought about how he would feel when he didn't, though. I saw for myself every day how much work he put into this sport. His control was incredible. What he ate, what he wore, his music... of course it was hard for him to deal with everything not being enough sometimes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into my jacket.

"Don't be sorry."

"I don't want to act like a baby."

"You are a baby. The most cutest baby." I snickered when he punched me in the ribs, then let him go. He looked so morose and his cheeks were beautiful little pink bubbles and I wanted nothing more in the world right that second than to make him smile. "Yuzu..."

"What?"

"I ..." I choked on the words I'd been about to say when all of a sudden there was loud screaming coming from above us. "What the - " I looked up and saw the faces of a small group of girls screaming at us from over the railings around the seating for the spectators. They all had some or other sign in their hands that they were waving wildly.

"YUZURU!"

"Oh my God, JAVI!"

"YUZU!

"It's Yuzuvier!"

"Holy...come on..." I laughed out loud, waving goodbye to the girls as I dragged Yuzu away with me again.

"Wait..." He stumbled beside me. "Did she say...Yuzuvier?" He asked me with big eyes and I remembered I had told myself I would tell Yuzu about the videos Cal had shown me that were online. It must have slipped my mind the last couple of days.

"Uh...I'll tell you later."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

By the time Javi's mouth had made it halfway down my spine, I was already going crazy.

"Hayaku."

"No."

"Javi..." I whined, but it melted into a moan when his beard grazed over the curve of my lower back. There was a beauty spot back there that Javi had recently become obsessed with kissing. My arms trembled when he curled his hands over my hips and I let myself fall face first into the sheets when he tightened his grip. Oh God...

Sometimes it was ridiculously embarrassing, the noises that came out of my mouth when Javi pushed inside of me; but I couldn't find it in me today. The warmth in my cheeks was definitely from the hot flush of pleasure that coursed through me and coiled into the deepest part of my bones. Why...why did it always feel so good?

"You good?" Javi asked, rocking his hips lightly just to check. I couldn't remember how to speak, so I groaned into the sheets and curled my hands into fists. There had been a familiar look in his eye when he'd locked the door behind us a few minutes ago... It was probably best to hold on to something for now.

When Javi shifted his hips and slammed into me the next second, I was glad I had. Stars burst in front of my eyes and a strangled sound escaped from my mouth.

"Chikushō." I huffed when he did it again.

"Que pasa?"

"Don't stop." I moaned pitifully and dropped my head back onto the sheets.

"You said if I beat your score, I get a kiss." Javi whispered softly, his breath tickling the side of my face.

"I didn't forget." I said quietly.

"I'm waiting then." He replied and I lifted myself up on one elbow to stare at him blankly.

"I you just had like five thousand kisses."

"First, it wasn't anywhere near a thousand." He said with his own blank expression. "And second, none of those counted. I want the one that you owe me. The 'Congrats for kicking my ass' kiss." I fought the smile pulling at my face but not for long.

"You didn't kick my ass."

"I won."

"By 1 point." If I hadn't been so distracted by the fact that Javi had been hanging all over Miki before the start of the competition...the second I'd seen him wrap his arms around her my heart had stopped and hadn't beat normally until we got back to the hotel. I had tried to tell myself not to get jealous of something as stupid as a hug, but then he'd gone on about how they'd know each other for a long time and all I could see flashing in my head was Javi sitting on his couch, telling me that he was not gay. It hadn't bothered me much then, but all it took was one look at the two of them and it had beat in my head like a drum. I mean, why wouldn't Javi like Miki? She was pretty. Smart. A beautiful skater...Japanese ...

"It doesn't matter if you win by an inch, or by a mile."

"Are you really quoting The Fast and The Furious to me right now?"

"Winning is winning." He concluded and I let out a put upon sigh.

"Well...I did promise."

"You did." He grinned happily. I waited until he wasn't smiling like an idiot before dipping down and quickly planting a kiss on his lips.

"Hey!"

"Congrats for kicking my ass." I said and pulled the blanket over my face.

"Yuzu, that wasn't a kiss. Come on." He tugged at the edge of the blanket.

"A kiss is a kiss."

"Yuzu." He complained. "Yuzu?" I kept quiet. "I'm going to tell Okaasan you're ignoring me."

"Baka yaro."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just making a video."

"Stop it." I sighed but Javi ignored me and motioned for Phillipe to continue.

"Show me again." He demanded with more vehemence than any child his age should have.

"I showed you twice already." I folded my arms over my chest. "I don't like repeating myself."

"Ah, come on, Yuzuru-San. Just one more time." He pleaded more like the kid he was and I sighed heavily, skating back to the middle of the rink. Since Javi was worried about Phillipe attempting jumps before he was ready for them, I figured I'd try show him there were still cool things to do while still staying on the ice. Like the Beillman spin. It was simple enough. He had enough of a core to give him good rotations to work with.

"You start your spins." I explained as I slowed it down a little for him. "When you feel comfortable with your balance, lift your foot." I said, doing it at the same time. "It's called the layback spin for a reason. Reach back and grab your skate. Pull it up. Don't slow down or you'll get dizzy." Which was what he was having trouble with. I completed the spin with a bow and I heard Javi clapping somewhere at the side of the rink

"Kirei!"

"Ignore him." I said when Phillipe's eyes drifted in his direction. "Focus. You remember now?"

"I think I got it." He nodded and I moved out of the way so I could watch from the sidelines.

"You would give Mistress Ekaterina a run for her money." Javi said, leaning over the rail.

"I don't think I'm nearly as brutal." I chuckled and he waved his hand in the air back and forth.

"Just about."

"Shut up." I smacked his arm and he made a kissy face at me. I pushed him away with a laugh and went back to watching Phillipe. The first two times he stumbled again but by the third he managed to grab his skate and drag his leg up for a halfway decent Beillman.

"I did it!" He beamed and I gave him a high five when he skated over.

"Pretty good, for a kid."

"I'm barely a kid anymore." He pouted and Javi ruffled his hair.

"You know he's a monkey."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are - "

"Hey." I cut them off. "You're both monkeys." Javi looked at me with his mouth open and a hand on his chest while Phillipe huffed haughtily.

"I was going to invite you to my ballet recital but now you guys are picking on me."

"Hey, no wait. You have a recital soon?" Javi hopped over the rail and caught Phillipe by his shirt. "When?"

"In a couple of months." He said slowly.

"We'll definitely be there. Right, bab - uh...Yuzu." I gave him a stern look but he looked contrite enough.

"Definitely." I said turning back to Phillipe with a smile. "We only have a few more competitions and then we should have a break for a while before the Olympics."

"The Olympics..." Phillipe said with his eyes wide. "That's gonna be so cool. I want to go to the Olympics when I'm older."

"Well you're not going to make it if you slack off." I pushed him back towards the middle of the rink and skated after him.

"What do you want to learn next? Camel Spin or Hydroblading?"

"What the hell is Hydroblading?" He asked me with a crazy smile on his face.

"You ready?"

"Hmm?" I startled out of my trance to see Javi had already gotten out of the car and was waiting on the sidewalk with his bags. Was I ready? To compete in the next leg of the Four Continents, absolutely. To meet Javi's family? Most decidedly not. "Coming." I mumbled and grabbed my bags, tumbling out of the car ungracefully.

I hadn't really been paying attention on the plane to Madrid and I'd zoned out during the car ride over here but Spain was a very beautiful country. Different from Japan in a way I couldn't explain. The atmosphere and the buildings and the way the sun covered everything in a gorgeous orange glow with this sunset...

"Yuzu." Javi chuckled and reached for my hand. "This way." He pulled me along up a short driveway and my hand tightened its grip on my bag when Javi knocked on the door.

"Mamá." Javi called out loud. The door in front of us swung open and I held my breath.

"¿Qué?...Javier!"

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Mamá." I shouted out loud. The door swung open and I was hit by a wall of my mother's perfume.

"¿Qué?...Javier!" She yelled and suddenly I was squashed in her arms, being shaken side to side. "My Javier is home! Antonio! Javier is here!"

"Mamá. My ear." I laughed and she let me go.

"Lo siento, hijo. Inside. Come inside. Let's get - " She stopped when she noticed I wasn't alone on the doorstep. "Who is this?" She asked me in Spanish.

"Ai...Mamá. This is my friend, Yuzuru. Yuzuru, this is my mother. Enriqueta." I dragged him closer to me. He gave me a panicked look before he bit his bottom lip and bowed politely.

"Hello." He said quietly in English and it was disturbing how quickly my mother's face morphed into delight.

"Javier, oh my goodness. Look at him, he's so cute." She gushed in Spanish and Yuzu blinked at me with wide eyes again when my mother also pulled him in for a quick hug before dragging him inside. "Antonio! Antonio, Javier brought a friend with him!"

"Stop yelling, woman. I can hear you." My father grumbled as he came round the corner. "What's all the fuss about?"

"Yuzu!?" Laura squealed as she stuck her head around the corner. "Oh my God, you're really here." The tightness in Yuzu's shoulders relaxed a little at the sight of my sister but he still looked vaguely like a skittish kitten.

"You know Javier's friend?"

"Of course we know each other. Skating is a small world, Mamá."

"Oh! You're a skater too?"

"Better than Javi."

"Hey!" I tried to interject but everyone was talking over me.

"Laura, ask him if he wants to eat something. Look at his waist. I haven't seen a waist that small since the 90s."

"He doesn't want to eat, Mamá."

"You didn't ask!"

"You're making a noise! The neighbour's can hear you!" My father bellowed.

"They're used to it by now, Antonio. Don't be such a tonto."

"Dios mio, I don't know if this is a new headache or the old one is back."

"Javier, take your friend's bag upstairs. I'm going to make him something to eat."

"He doesn't want to eat, Mamá!"

"Sorry about that." I said, closing the door behind me softly. It was the first time it was quiet in the house since Yuzu and I had arrived.

"It's OK." He smiled at me, peeking from under the covers and I giggled, switching off the lights and diving for the bed.

"Warm enough?"

"I'm fine, Javi."

"I can make you warmer..." I offered, curling towards him and trying to wrap my arms around his waist.

"Don't you dare." He warned. "Not in your mother's house."

"Baby..."

"No." He said simply and I sighed in defeat.

Skating at home in Madrid was always surreal. Spain was not really a country that was very well known for skating, but in the past few years the interest had boomed and I loved it that I had helped other kids who were out there like me, who were interested in skating, to have more rinks available throughout the city.

"Looking sexy." My sister chuckled beside me and I stuck out my tongue at her.

"Go away, I need to focus."

"You already won. What's there to focus on?" I smiled but my heart really wasn't in it. I should have been happy to add another gold medal and title to my resume, but I had seen the disappointed look on Yuzu's face at the medal ceremony and I hadn't seen him since.

"I just need to." I mumbled and twisted my ankles before I stepped on the ice. I would worry about Yuzu later. Right now I had a gala to get through.

"Hola, Madrid." Said a voice that boomed through the rink. I tripped on the ice and stared in shock when I saw Yuzu standing by the announcers booth at the side of the rink, microphone in hand. He was dressed in a red and yellow shirt with España written on it and he had the biggest smile on his face as he waved at the crowd. Did he just ... "Please welcome...medalla de oro de España ... Javier Fernandez!"

"Are you kidding me?" I whispered to myself as he blew me a kiss from the booth. Now? Now he brings out the Spanish? The lights in the rink hit my face and I wonder briefly if anyone will notice that I have a boner right now. Shit...

Skate, Javi, skate.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded as soon as I got back to the dressing room and I saw Yuzu curled up in the corner on his phone.

"Javi." He said with a smile.

"No, no. Don't Javi me." I grumbled and drag him up until his eyes are level with mine. "What was that just now?"

"What was what?"

"You...Spanish..." I stammered and his cheeks turned a lovely cherry blossom pink.

"Ah...I...did I say it wrong? Was it bad?"

"I'm going to kiss you now." I said softly and his big brown eyes fluttered slightly.

"O...K" He breathed. His lips were cold, but just as soft as always. I slipped my hands up the side of his neck and he moaned into my mouth just like he did when he was making little noises when I pushed inside him and I was rock hard in an instant. Fuck, the gala was over at least. It wouldn't take long for me to get him home and -

"Javi, Mamã wants to know if - OH SHIT!" My sister gasped and shut the door quickly behind her. Yuzu's fingers were digging into my skin where he was gripping my shirt hard.

"What's wrong, Laura, is Javier not inside?" I heard my mother ask through the door.

"No, he uh...I think he went to the bathroom. He's not in there?"

"Then why did security say - "

"Maybe they missed him leaving. Come on, we can wait for him outside." My head dropped until my forehead rested against Yuzu's. He was still breathing heavily and fidgeting with my shirt.

"You shouldn't have done that." He whispered.

"We should go before she comes back again." I said and he nodded slowly.

"So..." Laura said when she sat down next to me by the pool, sticking her bare feet in the water.

"Fuck." I muttered and adjusted my sunglasses. I had been expecting my sister to try and talk to me last night. When she hadn't, I'd assumed she was willing to look past what had happened. Apparently I was a moron.

"Javi, you can't expect me to see you shoving your tongue down another guys' throat and expect me to say NOTHING." She said with her hands on her knees.

"Please. I think if my tongue was down his throat, you'd have something else to worry about." I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration.

"Javi..." She punched me in the ribs. "Are you really joking right now? I'm trying to talk to you."

"So talk." I said, pushing my glasses up into my hair and looking my sister in the eyes. She had her mouth open but nothing was coming out. I sighed softly and took pity on her. "I'm not gay."

"Excuse me?!" She half-yelled and I glared at her. "Sorry, but can you blame me?"

"You didn't let me finish." I muttered. "I'm not gay...but I really like him."

"Javi..."

"Can you please just stop saying my name over and over?" I huffed.

"Sorry..."

"You can stop apologizing too." I grunted. She shut her lips and looked at me expectantly. "That's it. I just like him."

"REALLY like him." She corrected me.

"Fine, I really like him." I mumbled, picking at a stray piece of cotton on my swimming shorts. I really did. If I took the time to sit and think about it like now...just HOW much I liked him was scary. It made my heart beat like a drum against my chest and I didn't know how to breathe right. It felt too much like ...

"Javi?"

"Here." I got up quickly when he stuck his head out the back door.

"Oh. Good morning, Laura." He smiled at my sister, but it didn't reach his eyes that were flickering back and forth between the two of us.

"You want to swim?" I asked to help him relax. "I think I might get a few laps in. Mamã fed me too much." I rubbed my slightly bulging stomach for emphasis. He pursed his lips as he looked at me but after a while he didn't look so nervous.

"Yeah, you could use a little exercise." He murmured and Laura laughed out loud.

"Have fun, little bro. I have things to do." She waved at us as she headed back into the house.

"What are you doing?" I asked Yuzu who was sitting on the lounge chair staring at his phone intently.

"Payback." He said and showed me the screen so I could see he was recording a video.

"It's not really payback." I chuckled. "I don't mind if you take videos of me." I said, jumping out of the pool. I could feel my shorts were stuck like a second skin to my body and I moved to pull the material away but after seeing the look on Yuzu's face, I left them alone. Yuzu shook his head slightly and closed his mouth.

"I'll post it on that Instagram thing you like so much."

"Is that a threat?"

"It is what it is." He shrugged.

"Well if this is going on Instagram..." I muttered. I gave the camera a salute and just for fun I did a quad axel right into the pool. It made a hell of a splash but when yuzu showed me the video later, it looked super cool.

"What are these hearts for?" He asked and I planted a kiss on his cheek before I sat down beside him.

"It's like...likes on Facebook."

"What's Facebook?" He blinked and I snorted loudly.

"Yeah...OK so when you post something...like you did with my awesome video just now, the people who follow you and like it by clicking on the heart."

"So..." He frowned at his screen. "50 people like it? Already? But I just posted it..."

"Yeah, well you do have a lot of fans."

"There's comments... 'Javi looks like he's having fun'."

"I am." I grinned.

" 'Where is this? Vacation?' I wish." He mumbled, scrolling some more. " 'Wow, my Yuzuvier ship is still sailing.' What? We're not sailing." He frowned some more. "And there's this Yuzuvier again. What is that? You forgot to explain it to me."

"It's a ship name."

"But we're not on a boat."

"No...It's when..." I wracked my brain for examples to explain to him. "When the public likes two people together, they like to call them by one name, like they're a ....couple. You know. Like ...Brangelina."

"Who is that?"

"Brad Pitt and...never mind, they're not even together anymore." I sniffed. "So Yuzuvier is like...you and me. Yuzuru and Javier."

"As a couple..." He said slowly.

"Well yeah."

"Are you telling me that these people ...they know that we're together?"

"No, they don't KNOW, but they wish, I guess. I should show you the videos online, actually. It was a little creepy in the beginning but now it's sorta cute -"

"Videos? What videos? There's videos of us online?" He sat up in the chair now looking far from relaxed like he was 5 minutes ago.

"They're just...innocent. You know. Fans having fun."

"Fun? My private life is fun?" He asked in a dark voice and I reached out to touch him but he reeled back like I would burn him. "Show me. Show me these videos."

"Yuzu."

"I don't want you to say anything, Javi. I just want you to show me."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Yuzu." Javi nudged me gently but I didn't respond. He let out a sigh too soft for me to hear, but I felt his breath flutter over my shoulder. "Yuzu, are you mad?" He asked me quietly and I closed my eyes. Was I mad? In a way, yes; I was mad at myself...because I knew it. I knew that keeping anything in the world as an athlete in the public eye was next to impossible, but for some stupid reason I'd believed Javi when he said no one was watching us. They were all watching. The whole world was watching us. It was almost demented how MUCH they were watching us, piecing every little piece of us together so accurately it was scary. Dozens of videos...

"Yuzu..."

"I'm not mad at you." I whispered and his hand dropped on my arm, rubbing it up and down slowly. "But I told you."

"I know."

"The whole world knows about us."

"Not really. They're just...guessing."

"They know enough." I grumbled and Javi sat up on the bed with a hopeful look on his face.

"Exactly. They know enough and the fact that nothing has changed should tell us something, right?" He spoke quickly like he did when he was getting excited about something. "I mean, I know you were looking at the videos but did you even look at any of the comments people were making. REALLY look at them? I know sometimes there are a few rotten eggs, but everyone doesn't really seem to mind."

He was wrong. I had been looking at the comments. He WASN'T wrong that most of them had been positive. But there was something about that that just made it all seem worse somehow. It felt like a trap. Right now everyone was nice but if anything became fact...my heart squeezed at the possible backlash.

"Javi..."

"I love you." He blurted suddenly and whatever it is I'd been about to say disappeared from my mind like a wisp of fog.

"What?"

"I love you." He said more firmly and reached for my hand while I lay there looking up at him with my mouth hanging open. "I love you and I want to tell my Mamá and my father that I love you. I want to tell my friends. I want to tell the world." He sucked in a deep breath. "You're really special to me, Yuzu. I want you to know that. I want everyone to know that. Aishiteru." The words sent a chill down my spine that made me tremble and I could feel myself breathing but there definitely wasn't enough air in my lungs.

"You love ...me?"

"Of course I love you. Do you even know how amazing you are?" He breathed and let go of my hands so he could cup his around my face. His hands were so warm. "How beautiful. Smart. Kind. Gifted. I'm so in love with you it..." He sucked in breath and with a start I realized there were tears in his eyes, but he blinked them away. "It just feels really good to say it." He finished quietly.

Besides my family, I'd never really had anyone else say those words to me and mean them. And I could feel it...how much he meant them. It buzzed on my skin like it was alive and made my heart beat so fast. Oh my God...He loved me...

"I - "

"You don't have to say it back." He said, stilling my words with a quick caress of his thumb over my lips. "Not now."

"But - "

"Not now, Yuzu. OK?" He leaned down to kiss my forehead softly, his thumb moving to stroke my cheek now. I could feel it when he smiled, his beard tickling my skin. "My little dumpling. You're so cute."

"I'm a grown man." I muttered without heat and he chuckled before kissing my forehead again.

"I know."

"¿A que hora te vas mañana?" Mrs Fernandez asked as she bustled around the kitchen getting lunch ready for us.

"Después de la gala."

"¿Tan pronto?"

"Mamá..." Javi whined and let his head fall on his arm when she handed him another bowl of food. "She's trying to kill me." He muttered to me in Japanese.

"You try to kill me every day too." I shot back and he lifted his head to glare at me.

"I'm trying to save your life, OK?" He said grumpily. "Sugar is an essential food group.

"In what world?"

"My world." He huffed. "And my world is the only one that matters."

"Riiight." I pursed my lips trying not to smile. "And mine?"

"We are Yuzuvier. We're practically of one flesh by now."

"Oh my God, please don't say that with your mother standing right there..." I choked on my glass of water, but he just patted my back with a relaxed smile on his face.

"She doesn't understand us. It's cool."

"Eat." I just mumbled after my coughing fit.

The exhibition gala was about to begin and I could hear the screams from inside the rink when the announcer began reading the list of names for the skaters who were participating in the opening performance. To be honest I preferred shows like this to competitions not only because there wasn't the added stress of performing for judges, but because the fans were so enthusiastic and and they could be a little more rowdy than in a competition setting.

"Have fun tonight." Coach Brian said as he was leaving the dressing room. "I'm going to go find my seat. I'll see you on the ice." He waved once and then disappeared out the door.

"Yuzu?" Javi stuck his head in the door. "You're up after this, we gotta go."

"Hold on." I huffed, picking at my sleeves again. "Every time I put this on it gets tighter here." I complained, running my hand over the diamante and sequence along the length of my chest. "Every single time."

"I love this costume." Javi said behind me, much closer now. I was reaching for the zip at the back when he smacked my hand away and pulled up the zip for me, taking his own sweet damn time about it. My skin pebbled when he pressed a kiss on the back of my neck and met my eyes over mu shoulder in the mirror. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

"Let's go." He grabbed my hand and tugged me out of the dressing room.

"You OK?" Javi asked me when we were in bed later that night.

"Yeah." I closed my eyes when he mouthed at the side of my neck. "I'm fine."

"You're shaking."

"I want you." I blurted out honestly. I really did. Not just now, but there was a deep ache in my chest that had been sitting there like a lump ever since he'd told me he loved me. I wanted him like this and in in every way for always. It was a scary thought. So scary that I felt more naked saying those words than I actually was lying here under him in his bed wearing nothing.

My cheeks turned even darker and I clawed at his back to keep him pressed close to me. Please don't look at me. Please... I bit my bottom lip when Javi pulled away from me, his arms either side of my head. He didn't say anything, but I could feel the heavy pressure of his gaze. My eyes opened one at a time. He had a pensive look on his face, his dark eyes staring at my face.

"What?" I whispered.

"Why don't you want me to look at you?" He asked. Kuso. Had I said that out loud? I squirmed at the intensity of his attention.

"I don't know." I admitted and held my breath.

"I want you to look at me." He said simply. I couldn't have looked away now even if I wanted to. When he sank back on top of me, pushing my legs open wider; when his hands drifted up my thighs and over my hips; when the sting of his cock thrusting inside me burned deeper than usual...I didn't stop looking.

"Tired?" Coach Brian asked me when we were waiting for the plane to take off. Javi was already asleep in his seat next to me, cap pulled low over his face.

"Didn't sleep much." I offered and he grunted unhappily.

"Try to sleep. We only have a few weeks til the next leg of 4CC."

"Yes, Coach." I smiled at him and he gave me a nod before strapping himself into his seat.

"Tell Javi not to keep you awake so much." He added casually and if there was some way for a hole to open up in the universe and swallow me up...

"Please, God." I begged.

"Hanyu san, this is the final leg of the Four Continents. How confident are you about winning, considering you lost the European and Oceanic leg to your rival, Javier Fernandez?"

"Javi and I have been training very hard and we both always give it our best. Of course we both want to win, but you know... I'm confident that I will definitely work hard and stay focused, try my best to win. That's all."

"Mr Orser, who do you think will come out on top today?"

"I can't answer that." There was a smattering of laughter from the reporters. "Technically on the ice they're the same. Yuzuru sort of ... flies more than Javi, but Javi definitely is just as fast and just as capable of doing what he needs to do to win. We'll just have to wait and see who that is."

I grinned at Javi who was sitting on the other side of Coach Brian and he stuck out his tongue at me.

"Alright, you two." Coach chided the both of us.

"Are they always like this when they're together?" Someone asked.

"In the beginning, not quite. Yuzu is very serious about skating, sometimes a little too serious if you ask me; and Javi is..." He pulled a face. "But I guess now it's more like this. He's definitely like this because of Javi." He said right when I stuck my tongue out back at Javi.

I was shaking out my feet and rolling my arms to keep them relaxed when Javi realized he'd forgotten something back at the dressing room.

"Hurry." I smacked him on his butt as he passed me and he smirked over his shoulder as he walked away.

"I'll get you back for that later."

"You can try."

"You need to stop underestimating me, Yuzuru!" He half-yelled, jogging now.

"He's right." I startled so badly I almost fell against the wall, spinning around and trying to keep my heart from jumping out my throat.

"Fu - Takahashi Sensei..." I panted as I pulled myself together. "Sumimasen. I didn't see you."

"Mmm." He said casting a disdainful look down the hallway where Javi had just gone. "You always did have crude taste." He muttered in Japanese.

"Excuse me?" I gasped in surprise. "I ...What are you even doing here?" I hated that I winced at how rude it sounded.

"I have a new student." He said airily. "One with just as much talent as you but not stupid enough to waste it."

"Sensei - "

"I told you that focus is the only thing that will get you gold. I was ready to make you a champion. The best of the best." He shook his head. "And yet you still insist that you know better." I swallowed hard and curled my hands into fists so he wouldn't see they were shaking.

"I am the best." I tried to speak above a whisper but my voice just wouldn't let me. "My world rankings - "

"The best never settles for silver." He sniffed. "You've already lost the 4CC twice in a row, and you dare to call yourself the best?" He hissed. "Don't think because you're standing on a podium that it means anything unless they're playing your national anthem." He said with hard eyes. "Maybe you've forgotten about that. Maybe Japan isn't good enough for you anymore."

"Sensei, I never - " Why was it so hard to let words come out of my mouth.

"You have forgotten. Your prize is no longer the pride of your country." He murmured. "Your focus is clearly on something else. On SOMEONE ELSE." His eyes drifted back to the hallway. "A colleague showed me the videos of you two that are all over the internet. Don't bother denying it, I know you too well." He said when I opened my mouth again. "I was embarrassed. Not for me, not for you, but for my country. That we put our faith in you and this is how you chose to repay the good faith of your supporters." He sighed heavily and I flinched at the look of disappointment on his face.

"I was hoping that this was all a phase and you would be back to your senses before you embarrass us on the Olympic stage but I'm afraid its too late for that." His face twisted into a sneer when he saw Javi jogging back down the hallway. "Mata aimasyou." He grumbled, giving me a half bow before he walked away.

"I found them!" Javi panted. "I thought I left them but they were in another...Yuzu..." Javi's hand came down on my shoulder and I recoiled unconsciously. "Hey...are you Ok? Who was that guy?"

"It doesn't matter." I muttered.

"O...K." He drawled. "Are you ready to go then? Warm up is about to start." It took me a second to answer.

"Yeah." I said quietly. "I'm ready to go."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

It niggled in the back of my mind like a splinter I couldn't pull out. The more I tried not to think about it, the more I DID think about it.

"Yuzu? Are you in...ah. So this is where you're hiding?" Javi smiled and looked around the empty room before he came to sit down on the bench next to me. "What happened?"

"Hurts." I murmured quietly, looking down at my right ankle that was surrounded in an ice pack. "I think I landed funny."

"Ouch." He raised his hand but didn't touch it. "But you're OK, right? The medal ceremony is soon. If it hurts too much though I can - "

"It's fine." I replied and reached for the ice pack to take it off but Javi beat me to it.

"Let me."

"Javi..."I sighed but he just set the pack aside and lifted my leg onto his lap, curling his hands around my ankle and rubbing it slowly. "Don't we need to go now?" I asked when he didn't move for a while.

"In a second." He said, still rubbing. "Tell me when it's warm." He pressed harder on a spot near the bone and I winced when it pinched. "Sorry."

"It's OK."

Silence.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" He asked after a moment.

"What?" I blinked at him and he gave me a long look. "Nothing is wrong."

"You won today."

"I know."

"You aren't even smiling..."

"I..." I could feel my face twitching but I didn't have it in me to smile right now. At all.

"Yuzu...did you think I was lying when I told you I love you?" He said softly, setting my foot down but not letting it go. "Because I do. Love you. A lot. So I don't like seeing you in pain..." He glanced down at my foot. "And I have to admit..." He paused to lean forward a little, brushing my hair out of the way and making me look up at him. "You're pretty good at hiding when you're in pain. But your eyes... they can never lie to me."

"Nothi - I..." His lips pinched into a thin line. "...it's just that - " I took a deep breath.

"Oooh are we giving out free foot massages or is this just a Yuzuvier special?" Came from the doorway. I pulled my foot carefully off Javi's lap and sat up.

"Johnny." I greeted him with a small bow.

"Everyone is looking for you." He explained, pointing behind him. "Do you need a second?"

"I'm coming." I coughed softly and moved to put my skates back on.

"Wait." Javi touched my arm. "You should just wear your sneakers. You don't need to stress it more."

"I'm fine." I insisted again and held his gaze until he caved with a soft breath, nodding once. I slipped my skates on again and tried my best not to make a face when my ankle protested. "Let's go." I gestured to Johnny who raised his eyebrow but waved his arm with a flourish and let me walk past him.

The national anthem for Japan was playing over the loud speakers but for once I didn't feel proud. My heart was heavy and my eyes were stinging as painfully as my ankle. I didn't want it to be true, but I couldn't really argue when the facts were right in front of me. I was distracted. I knew that. I was losing focus; and losing focus meant...

I started when I felt Javi curl his arm around my waist and pull me close to him. He'd joined me on the top of the podium with whoever it was that had won the bronze medal. I couldn't remember his name right now.

"Mr Hanyu, can you look this way please?" I couldn't find the reporter who had spoken but I turned in the direction of his voice, lifting my medal for the photos. I was just about to step off the platform when my eye caught a large sign in the corner of the stands.

I stared at the Yuzuvier sign covered in Winnie the Pooh stickers. The girls holding it were jumping up and down and waving happily. For a brief moment, I remembered Javi's words back in Madrid...about how people weren't unhappy about the idea of us together at all. How there were so many who were supportive...and didn't care much at all...only a moment.

My eyes drifted over the crowd and I caught Takahashi Sensei glaring at me from across the rink. I didn't need to be near him to know how dark his eyes would be with disapproval. He sniffed when he saw me looking at him, turning to the person next to him to speak and leaving right after. Then one by one the people who had been sitting around him started to leave.

"Yuzu? Yuzu?"

"Mmm?" It was hard to swallow and face Javi.

"Are you sure you're OK?" He frowned, lifting his hand to touch my head. "Do you have a fever?" I slapped his hand away quickly before someone could take a picture.

"I said I'm fine." I hissed and jumped off the stairs, grimacing and limping off to find my stuff so we could leave.

Javier:

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. I could feel the wrongness sinking into my chest...it made my heart squeeze painfully and my chest ache.

"What happened? Lover's tiff?" Johnny said as he stopped next to me, the two of us watching Yuzu as he hobbled back in the direction of the dressing room.

"Shut up." I huffed, only because I didn't have anything better to say. WAS this a lover's tiff? Had I done something wrong and he was mad at me? He hadn't been like this earlier today.

"You two looked pretty cozy just now." He said and looked at me with an expectant face.

"And?"

"I'm just saying." He shrugged one of his shoulders. "I think you two are cute. Never seen the poor boy smile so much in my life these last few weeks." His eyes narrowed. "Don't fuck it up."

"I didn't do anything." I said, but it came out squeaky because I really wasn't sure that I hadn't.

"Right..." He pursed his lips and gave me one more scrutinizing look. "I'm watching you, Javier." He grumbled before he walked off.

"Okaasan." I smiled when Yuzu's mother opened the door. "Yuzu koko desu ka?"

"Hai." She nodded once and let me inside the apartment. It had taken a while for Yuzu and his mother to find an apartment they liked enough that was close to the rink; and moving had mostly been handled by her while we were busy with the Four Continents Championship. The place was still way nicer than anything I would have been able to afford on my own, but I knew that Yuzu got paid a crazy amount of money to sponsor products in Japan.

"Douzo." I followed Okaasan when she pointed me towards Yuzu's room. "Please remind him that he has assignments to submit by next week." She said

"Wakarimasu." I replied. She rolled her eyes when I winked at her, but there was still half a smile on her face. "Yuzu?" I opened the door carefully in case he was sleeping. These days he was so tired he could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I'd given him a few days to recover after the last competition in the US, but I couldn't stay away anymore. I needed to talk to him.

"Yuzu?"

"Hmm?" His dark head appeared from under a pile of blankets and it was ridiculous how much lighter I felt just seeing his face.

"Were you sleeping?" I whispered and walked around the desk in his room to join him on the bed. "Okaasan said you're supposed to be working on assignments."

"School's barely started." He mumbled, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. "I haven't even learned anything. Why do I even have assignments?"

"How are you feeling? Your foot better?"

"Yeah." He sighed deeply and lifted the blanket so he could look at it. It did look better. The last time I'd seen it, the skin around his ankle had been bright pink and a little swollen. Coach Brian had banned him from the rink until he stopped limping. "I have to keep icing it for a few more days."

"OK." I pulled him closer to me and planted a soft kiss to the side of his head, but instead of melting into me like he usually did, he shrank away and move to the edge of the other side of the bed. I let out an annoyed sigh. "Yuzu. Tell me what's wrong."

"Noth - "

"If the word nothing comes out of your mouth right now, I swear to God..." I let the threat hang in the air as I stood up. "Tell me. Right now." I demanded. His head was hanging but I could see he was breathing hard, his shoulders heaving with each breath he took. It was enough to scare me, but not enough to keep me from pushing. "Yuzuru." I pressed and he flinched. It took a second for him to pull himself together and whisper softly.

"I can't do this..."

"What? Can't do what?"

"I ...can't..." He sucked in a breath. "I can't be with you anymore."

I stood there in the middle of the room looking at Yuzu like he was crazy and wondering if I had misheard him.

"What?"

"Don't make me say it again, Javi."

"No." I barked. "No, look at me. Look at me and say that again."

"Javi..."

"Look me in the eye and say that to me again." I repeated through gritted teeth and when he finally lifted his head and I saw the look in his eyes, my heart shattered. "Yuzu - "

"We can't. I can't." He shook his head back and forth.

"I don't understand..."

"You were wrong. This isn't right."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I was..." My throat squeezed uncomfortably when his face twisted and his chin wobbled. "I was ...um...I'm sorry." He finished lamely. "Mou muridato omoimasu."

"Don't say that." I managed to choke out when I could finally speak. "Don't."

"Javi."

"DON'T JAVI ME!" I didn't want to shout at him but I didn't know what else to feel right now but anger. "Yuzuru." I waited until he held my gaze firmly. "What happened? What... everything was ...what happened? Did I do something wrong or...?"

"It's not you." He whispered. "I just can't do this."

"But WHY." His lips pinched together and his eyes went to the door but it stayed closed for now.

"It's just the wrong time. I need to focus on ...myself. Focus on my career. This is too distracting for me."

"Too distracting?" I gasped and I had to bite my tongue to keep from swearing. My eyes were starting to burn and I could feel my hands shaking. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"You're fucking lying." I hissed, balling my hands into fists. "I told you not to lie to me."

"I'm not lying." He insisted, his own hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "We shouldn't be..." I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "I need to focus." He said, his eyes hardening in a way I hadn't seen in a long time. "Only focus will get me gold."

"You're ...breaking up with me so you can...get a MEDAL?" I spat at him in disbelief. "Are you serious right now, Yuzu? You're leaving me so you can focus on getting a ribbon around your neck?"

"It has nothing to do with...I think you should leave now." He said, closing his eyes.

"Yuzu!"

"I want you to leave."

"I LOVE YOU!" I said loudly.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" He shouted back at me. "Leave me alone. Get out."

"Yuzuru."

"Get out of my house, Javi." He muttered. My breath left my lungs in a painful shaky sigh of defeat and I reached into my pocket with trembling fingers. I threw the package in my hand on the bed and left before I said anything that I would regret.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

As soon as Javi left my room, the shaking started. It began in my fingers. Travelled all the way up the length of my arms and drifted as a shiver down my spine...then my knees. Soon my whole body was trembling and I couldn't stand anymore.

"Kuso." I whispered as my head sank into my pillows. I hadn't expected it to hurt this much. It felt like the right thing to do. I knew that much...but it still hurt like hell. My lungs felt tight and I couldn't breathe. It was the first time in forever that I had to wonder where my asthma pump was. The pain in my chest sharpened and I had to roll onto my back, gasping into the air to get enough oxygen to breathe. Oh my God.

"Yuzu? Yuzu, what..." I felt the bed dip as my mother's face swam in front of my watering eyes. "Oh, Yuzu...what did you do?" She asked softly, brushing her fingers over my cheeks.

"Do you want me to bring you some breakfast?"

"I'm fine."

"Just some tea?" My stomach cramped at the thought.

"No."

"You need to eat something."

"Later."

"I can make you some - "

"Later." I muttered again and covered my face with my blanket so my mother would leave. It was a while before I heard her sigh and the door closed quietly. Breakfast? How long had I even been in here? I felt around in the dark for my phone and pressed the button to check the time. 06:45. I'd never been off the ice for this long my whole life.

I groaned as I sat up and glared at my ankle that was still vaguely throbbing with pain. I'd thought it was getting better but I must have knocked it against something in my sleep. Damn it. I swiped up the screen so I could message my doctor about anything that could help when I saw I had a few messages from Javi. That breathless feeling was back and as much as I wanted to ignore them...

JV: Is this really it?

JV: Yuzu?

JV: Please don't ignore me?

JV: Is this about all those stupid videos?

JV: I'm sorry I shouted earlier. I was angry because I was frustrated and confused and I really just want to know if we can sit down and talk about this? Please? Just...call me when you're ready to talk. I love you.

I let out a shaky sigh and fell back on the bed. Fuck.

My mother was in the kitchen when I finally ventured out of my room later that afternoon. Her eyes flickered towards me, then hardened suddenly as she put down a plate of food on the table.

"Sit." I blinked a little at her bluntness, but I said nothing and sat down at the table. She set out a few more things in front of me before she sat down opposite me and folded her arms.

"What?" I asked her when she didn't say anything either. Her eyes narrowed and her cheeks puffed as she exploded.

"You have the nerve to ask me? Don't look at me like that. I've been worried sick for days. If I didn't call Javi I would still be wondering if I should drag you out of bed myself and take you to the hospital." I scoffed a little at that, but I shut my mouth at the glare my mother gave me. "Yuzu...What did you do?" She asked me again. I didn't know how to answer her though.

"I..." I tried but the words stuck in my mouth. Disappointment was etched in every line in her face and I could barely swallow.

"I already know. But I want you to tell me how stupid you are yourself." She said firmly and I chose to ignore her, looking down into my plate of food, picking at it lightly. "Yuzu."

"Nothing." I mumbled and looked at the time on my phone. "I have to go to my doctor's appointment soon."

Javier:

I stared at the flask of hot chocolate that I hadn't even realized I'd brought with me this morning. It glared at me from the bench beside me like a bright neon light that I couldn't ignore. Habit. I hadn't expected it to be one that I had to break any time soon.

"You're early." Tracy said to me with a smile as she headed for the music booth. I'd been hoping that Yuzu would be here already so I could talk to him. He was almost always early. But the rink was quiet. I checked my phone one last time even though I knew it was useless. It hadn't beeped at all in the last couple of hours and all the messages I'd sent to Yuzu were still unanswered.

"Up. We need to start focusing on your program for the Olympics." Coach Brian said as soon as he walked into the rink, breaking me from my trance.

"Is..." I focused on the ice instead of looking around. "Is Yuzu not coming today?"

"He's still icing his ankle." He replied. "Not today."

My hands shook when I picked up the flask and threw it into a trash can on the other side of the bench.

I hefted my gym bag onto my back and tried to look around conspicuously but obviously I wasn't sly enough.

"He isn't back yet."

"Hmm?" I spun around and almost smacked Coach Brian in the face with my bag. "Sorry."

"He isn't back yet." He repeated, patting his pocket and pulling out his phone. "Didn't he tell you? He has a doctor's appointment today to see if he's ready to get back on the ice again."

"Um..." I huffed and scratched the back of my neck. "No. He...he didn't say anything." I muttered. Yuzu had said nothing to me for almost a week now. When he'd asked me to leave, I'd mostly been in shock and wondering what the hell was happening. As soon as I got back to my own apartment, I'd figured he was joking or...going insane or...I didn't even know. But there was no way I could believe that he would suddenly just want to ...break up.

I'd tried calling. I'd tried texting. When his mother had called me and asked what the hell was going on, that was when it started to sink in. Nothing had hurt quite like realizing that he really didn't want to be together anymore. The weight of it sat on my chest like a sack of bricks and sometimes it was hard to breathe even ...

"Javi?"

"Huh?" I blinked at Coach Brian who had a paper in his hands now and a frown on his face.

"Javi. Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing." I answered truthfully. Nothing was going on now. Nothing at all.

"Javi."

"Brian." I said back in the same tone.

"Don't sass me." He pursed his lips.

"I'm not doing anything." I grumbled, shifting my bag on my back again. "I gotta go." I squeezed around him to head for the door.

"Don't be late for practice." He called after me and I skidded to a stop. Practice... If Yuzu really was coming back tomorrow, would I be able to stand seeing him at practice and not being allowed to touch him? Would he even let me speak to him? He wasn't speaking to me now...having him ignore me in person would hurt a thousand times more, I was sure.

"Hey, Coach?" I shuffled back to where he was standing. "Do you think maybe I can ...switch my hours?"

"Switch your hours?" He repeated blankly.

"Yeah. Um. You know, after 10. Before 5." I coughed lightly and pretended like I couldn't see the look on his face.

"You want to switch your training hours..." He said even slower. "To that time specifically."

"Yeah." I said and he sighed, folding his arms over his chest.

"What did you do?"

"What?" I gaped at him.

"What did you do?" He demanded. "Yuzu should have been here days ago, but he isn't. Now you're telling me you don't want to train at the same time as him. What did you do?"

"What makes you think it was me who did something?" I asked it a little snarkily, but it stung a little that Coach Brian always thought I was such a screw up. "You know what, fuck it. I'll just come whenever." I huffed and headed for the door again.

"Javi. Javier!"

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Javi?"

"Mmm?" I blinked out of my daydream and realized my sister was still on the phone.

"Did you hear me?"

"Mmm."

"What did I say?"

"...No lo sé." I admitted after a few moments and she sighed loudly.

"¿Qué pasa? ¿Estás bien?"

"Nothing is wrong, Laura. Look, I have to go. OK? I'll call you tomorrow." I hung up before she could argue and fell back on my bed with a deep sigh. I was going to have to change the sheets now. I'd held onto them for as long as I could ...but his smell was starting to fade. I picked up my phone again and hoped with everything inside me that it would suddenly start ringing and Yuzu's name would pop up on the screen, programmed in Japanese which he'd done for me a couple of weeks ago.

Nothing.

"I'm coming, hold your freaking horses." I heard on the other side of the door. When it opened, the world tilted and I fell forwards, but luckily something broke my fall. "Javi?"

"Cal? Did you catch me?" I laughed at what that must have looked like and struggled out of his arms, making my way further into his apartment. "I came to visit you."

"At midnight?" He sounded surprised.

"You aren't sleeping." I said with a shrug. If his lights had been off, I wouldn't have knocked.

"Are you wasted?" He asked me and I snickered, flopping on his couch. On the TV was some nature show he was watching about polar bears. "Don't you have practice tomorrow?"

"Why is ice so pretty?" I asked him when they showed a shot of ice crystals reflecting in the sunlight. I skated on ice essentially every day of my life, but it never sparkled under artificial light quite like sunlight.

"Javi." He sighed as he sat down next to me, patting my head lightly. "What happened? Huh? You've been weird all week now."

"You're weird." I retorted and curled into a ball on the couch, suddenly exhausted. "I'm tired." I murmured.

"Did you ...have a fight with Yuzuru?" He asked me carefully and my heart hammered painfully in my chest.

"I wish." I mumbled. If there had been a fight, then everything would have made more sense. I wouldn't have been so blindsided...

"So..."

"He broke up with me." I whispered and held my breath waiting for him to ask me what I did wrong.

"That sucks..." He said a while later and tears prickled my eyes.

"You have no idea."

"Did he say why?"

"I don't even..." I hissed as my fingers dug into the cushion under my head. I couldn't remember anything he'd said to me actually. It was like I'd been underwater and everything was blurry. "I don't know. He won't speak to me."

"He blocked your calls?" I snorted at that. Yuzu barely knew how to use his phone. He probably didn't realized calls could be blocked in the first place.

"He just doesn't want to speak to me. I don't know what to do, Cal." I lay there curled up on his couch watching polar bears swimming in icy water for so long I was almost falling asleep when Cal said.

"You know, if he doesn't want to answer your calls, you can talk to him another way."

"I already tried texting, dumbass."

"You're the dumbass." He smacked the side of my head and I sat up to glare at him. "I'm trying to help you!"

"You said - "

"YOU said that the best thing about figure skating compared to ice hockey was that you get to say something when you're skating. You get to send a message." He shrugged his big shoulders. "So... send him a message."

"Send him...a message."

Yuzuru:

I sucked in a deep breath as soon as I got inside the rink. It hadn't been for long, but it was the longest time I'd been off the ice ever in my life. It felt like forever. I made my way over to the benches and sat down with a huff, dragging my bag closer and taking out my skates.

As happy as I was to be back, it took a while for me to realize why everything felt just a little bit off. A lump formed in my throat as I looked around for a flask I knew wouldn't be there.

"Yuzuru?" I started when Coach Brian called my name. "Ready to go?" He asked, got on the ice, skating to the middle of the rink.

"I ..." I paused and glanced back at the door. Was Javi late today? He hadn't been late in ages... "Coming." I muttered and followed after him.

"Hi, sir. Can I help you?"

"Umm..." I tried to fight the blush creeping up my cheeks, but I could feel it warming my face rapidly already. "Can I have ...one ...hot chocolate." I stammered. "Please." The girl behind the counter nodded once and took my money quickly. I let out a shaky sigh of relief and shuffled over to the side to wait for my drink. By the time I got it I was a ball of excitement, but I didn't dare take one sip until I was inside the rink and sitting on bench.

To say I was disappointed was an understatement. It didn't taste at all like what I was used to. It wasn't chocolaty enough...there was no body to it...it just was a brown watery TASTELESS mess. I couldn't believe how little sugar there was. I was still making a face when Coach Ghislain walked in with Coach Brian and we headed over to the gym for some core training.

"On the ball, Yuzu." Coach Brain pointed and handed me some resistance bands.

"I..." stumbled over my words for he second time that day. "Is...Javi not coming?"

"Javi will not be training with you anymore." Coach Brian said and continued talking quietly with Coach Ghislain like he hadn't just dropped a bomb on me.

"Wait...I ...why?" I forced my voice to speak louder and he paused, looking at me with neutral eyes.

"If you want to ask him, you'll have to call him and ask him yourself." He said and my heart sank to somewhere by my knees. Shit. Of course. It was stupid of me to think that ending things would mean everything else stayed the same. Why would it? Javi...he probably hated me now. Why would he even want to see my face? Why would -

"Yuzu. The ball." Coach Brian snapped his finger in my face and I flinched, bowing automatically to apologize.

"Sorry. Going." I muttered and hurried over to the balance ball.

By the end of the second week, I'd gone to 8 different coffee shops and still not a single one of them could get my hot chocolate right. I'd take one sip and my mood would sour worse than before.

"Don't jump too early. Listen to the music."

"I am."

"Then you wouldn't be jumping early!" Coach Brian shouted and the music cut.

"I need enough time to stick the landing and transition to the spread eagle." I said through gritted teeth.

"If you need enough time, then why is it a quad? Make it a triple."

"I need 4 quads." I argued.

"You need a clean program."

"I NEED - " I burst out and covered my mouth in horror when tears formed in my eyes ad blurred my vision. No. No, I didn't need Javi. I didn't need him at all. I was the Olympic Champion. I'd made it this far without him already. I could do it again. "I need a break." I whispered and hopped off the ice, slipping on my guards and walking over to the break room.

"Tadaima." I mumbled when I got back home after practice but my mother didn't answer. She just pursed her lips and got up to get supper ready. She'd been like this for weeks now as well. Ignoring me mostly when she could help it. I knew she was mad at me. I just didn't understand why.

I went to my room, showered and sorted through some of my assignments for school to see which ones were urgent. I was just finished sorting through the last one for my math class when my phone beeped on the table. Then beeped again. I peered at it when it started to vibrate for a long time, and then there was some more beeping. What the hell was going on?

Shoma: Have you seen this?

In his message was a link, and when I clicked on it, it opened to a video on Youtube. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Javi. In the video he was alone in the middle of the rink. Wearing all black in those training clothes that hugged his skin in a way I'd been insanely jealous of before. My eyes followed the curve of his back...how many times had I run my tongue along those muscles...

I gasped and sat back in my chair quickly. Stop it, Yuzu. You have to stop it. The music started in the video and my mouth almost fell open. Javi lived for loud music. Music that made him move and dance and LIVE on the ice. Slow was...not something I'd ever seen him do. He had too much energy in his soul for slow.

But here he was, on the screen skating to achingly beautiful slow music. Skating beautifully too. It didn't make sense to me. And then I listened...

I didn't think I had any tears left in me, but I guess I was wrong.

Chapter Text

Javier:

Cal was right. The only way I knew I could speak to Yuzu... REALLY speak to him...was on the ice. It was the only language both of us could speak to each other in so clearly we could feel it in our souls... I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before.

But...what did I want to say? Now that I was here at the rink, hands curled up in my gloves and watching my breath frost in the air in front of me, I really had no idea what to say. How did I even begin to explain how I was feeling? I felt...I felt...

Lost. Was it a ridiculous way to feel right now? I didn't know, but I felt confused and untethered and floaty. I scrolled through my phone and a song caught my eye. I set it on repeat and let it play through the speakers in the rink, then set my phone to record.

"I miss you, Yuzu." I whispered.

And then I floated.

Yuzuru:

"Yuzuru...Daijyobu?" I heard my mother ask me through the fog rolling through my head. My phone was still beeping incessantly in my hands, message after blurry message filling the screen. Friends? Reporters? I had no idea. Spots were clouding my vision now and words weren't making sense anymore.

"Yuzuru? Yuzu - "

"I'm..." I interrupted her, but I didn't know how to finish. I wasn't fine. I was far from fine. I hadn't felt this out of control of my life since...since the earthquake. My head was pounding and I could barely breathe. I couldn't ...

"Yuzu!" I don't know how I ended up on the floor, but suddenly my other was standing over me and patting on my chest. Yes...breathe...I need to breathe...

"I don't know what happened to him." My eyes fluttered when I heard my mother whispering. "He just collapsed. I thought he was having an asthma attack." Her voice shook and I buried myself deeper under the covers. Who had even put me to bed? There was no way my mother -

"He'll be fine." I started when I heard my father's voice. When...how long had I been asleep?

"I was so mad at him, Kento. I've been so mad at him."

"Yumi..." I heard my mother sniff and my fingers coiled tighter around the Winnie the Pooh doll in my hands. "He'll be fine. You know that. Come, don't sit here. I'll make you some tea and we can..." I closed my eyes as their voices drifted away and the lump in my throat grew even heavier. Javi...

"I miss you, Yuzu." He hadn't said the words too loud...but I'd felt that whisper all the way to the tips of my fingertips. And he'd put that video out there for the whole world to see... I shuddered as I thought about what everyone was saying. What they were thinking...

"Yuzu? Are you awake?" I heard my father ask a while later and lifted my head from under the blanket. "I brought you some tea." He said, but he didn't give it to me. Instead he set it down on the table beside my head and sat down on the bed near my feet.

"Arigatou." I murmured and moved to sit up, gritting my teeth and bracing for a lecture. I didn't get one though. My father just sat there looking at me for the longest time. I fidgeted under his gaze but I didn't know what to say either.

"Otousan - "

"Yuzu, did your mother and I not give you enough love while you were growing up?" He asked quietly.

"I..." I let out a shocked huff. "What...no, I ...I mean ...what?" I wasn't sure I even understood the question.

"That's what your mother thinks right now." My father said with tight lips. "She thinks you don't know what love is. That's why you pushed Javier away so hard when you started feeling overwhelmed."

"This..." I sniffed hard. "This has nothing to do with either of you."

"It doesn't feel like it. Do you think we enjoy seeing you in pain?" He blinked at me seriously and I couldn't even open my mouth. "Yuzu. Listen to me. Look at me." He prodded me and it took a moment before I felt brave enough to look in his eyes. "You are the most beautiful, amazing, talented, strongest and BRAVEST son your mother and I could ever ask for. We love you so much...so we just..." He sighed and shook his head. "We don't understand why you don't want Javi to love you too."

"Otousan." My voice cracked as I tried to keep from bursting into tears. Why did no one understand me. Of course I loved Javi. I loved him with everything in me. But I loved skating too. I needed to skate like I needed to breathe. I needed to compete. I needed...

"You're not a coward, Yuzuru." My father said as he stood up and turned to leave my room. "Stop acting like one."

My father's words echoed in my mind all afternoon, bouncing around in my skull until I had a blinding headache and I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. Was I being a coward? Walking away from Javi was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life. I didn't FEEL like a coward, but what if he was right?

Javi had admitted to me before that he didn't think he was gay; and yet he was ready to face the kind of backlash and hate he'd got slapped in the face with at the last Olympic Games. He was prepared to ruin everything...lose everything... for me? The thought alone made me breathless and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. That was insane. Who would do that? Why?

"I love you." The words echoed back in my mind so clearly I could almost feel the breeze that had fluttered through Javi's bedroom window in Madrid brush the hair of my arms.

"Yuzu?" My mother spluttered when I stumbled past my parents sitting in the living room.

"I h-have to go." I stammered and grabbed my shoes as I rushed for the door.

"Yuzu! Where are you going?"

Javier:

"He hasn't called you at all?" Miki said as she took the beer I held out for her and I shook my head as I sat down on the couch. "But - "

"I'd rather not talk about that right now." I mumbled, running my finger back and forth along the mouth of my own beer. It had seemed appetizing a moment ago, but now my stomach curled at the idea of drinking at all.

"Javi..."

"How is Sunny?" I cut her off. "Who did you leave her with?"

"I left her with my mother. Javi, can't you just try one more time?" She said with wide eyes. "This is insane. You two are like, made for each other. Red string of fate and everything. Are you really going to give up like this?"

"I TRIED!" I almost yelled. "I tried, Miki. He doesn't want to speak to me. What am I supposed to do? Go over to his house and shout at his window until he listens to me? This isn't a movie." I deflated and flopped back on the couch.

"Check your social media one more time. Maybe he's answered by now."

"No." I covered my eyes with a cushion."

"Javi."

"No."

"Jav - "

"NO!" I shouted when I felt her hand dig into my pants pocket and latch onto my phone. "Miki!"

"I'm trying to help you." She said as she dodged my attempts to steal it back. "Where is Instagram? Aha!"

"Give me that." I panted as I finally managed to grab my phone away from her. She had already been scrolling through my notifications but all I could see was fans still commenting about my video from the day before.

"Javi ..."

"Smile." I said and took a picture of the both of us. I laughed out loud at the look on her face...my first laugh in weeks...and posted the picture before she could stop me.

"You think you're fucking hilarious, don't you?" She eyed me with a playful glare. "Fine. Have fun laughing at my expense. I'll only let this go once. Remember that."

I was still laughing when I heard a knock at my door.

"You expecting anyone?"

"No." I shrugged. "Might just be reporters." I sighed as I got up to answer the door. "They've been coming by all day to ...." My words caught in my throat when I opened the door and I saw a flushed Yuzu staring back at me.

Yuzuru:

I'd been rehearsing what I wanted to say to Javi the whole way over here in the taxi but as soon as he opened the door and I saw his face, everything vanished in an instant. He looked good. SO good. With his face covered in stubble and wearing his glasses that he hated and shirtless like he would be sometimes because he missed the cold from the rink...God, he was so close I could even smell him. I wanted to hug him so much.

I was just about to take a step forward and fall into his arms when I noticed a pair of shoes by the door. I hadn't considered that Javi might have had company. My face burned even more, but this was why I was here, right? To show him I could be brave. That I didn't mind if anyone...knew...

Wait.

"Yuzu?" Javi said softly.

"Is Miki here?" I asked in a voice barely above a whisper. That was impossible, right? Miki was in Japan. There was no reason for her to be in Toronto.

"What? Yuzu, I've been trying to -" He reached out to touch me but I flinched and he dropped his hand. "Yuzu."

"Is Miki here? In your apartment? Right now?" I whispered. "That brand..." I pointed to the shoes. "It's Japanese. They're one of a kind. I know because I gave them to Miki as a gift when she retired because -"

"Quitting is for Losers." A voice finished behind Javi. When Miki stepped into view, I recoiled so badly I tripped and crashed into the wall behind me.

"Yuzu!"

"I need to go." I panted and stumbled to my feet again, running for the elevator.

"YUZU!"

"Please please please." I chanted as I pressed the button for repeatedly. It tinged open and I dived inside while Javi was still hopping as he tried to put on his sneakers.

"Yuzuru, matte! Yuzu!"

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Yuzuru, matte! Yuzu!" I stumbled over my feet as I hurried towards the elevator, but it was already closing and I didn't have my shoes on. I swore loudly and paused to slip them on properly and then bolted for the stairway. I didn't understand what was going on, but I had to get to him before he left.

I hopped the last few stairs and skidded to a stop in front of the elevator bank, but all the doors were open. I spun around in a wild circle but he was just...gone.

"Yuzu?" I ran outside onto the sidewalk but it was like he'd vanished into thin air. "Fuck..." I hissed heatedly and patted my pockets for my phone before I remembered I'd left it behind in my apartment.

"Is everything OK?" Miki asked when I got back.

"I don't know." I muttered and grabbed my phone. No messages. No missed calls. I tried to call Yuzu but all it did was ring forever until finally sending me to voicemail. "Shit." I ran my hands through my hair and looked at Miki for help but she just blinked her eyes at me uselessly.

"Is he not picking up?"

"Of course he isn't picking up." I growled and kicked at a cushion that had fallen to the floor. "I... I don't know what happened." I had been waiting for weeks for Yuzu to talk to me and somehow I'd managed to fuck it up before we could even say anything to each other.

"I think maybe I should go." She said carefully and picked up her bag, heading for the door.

"Miki..."

"I know you, Javi. You're itching to go for look for him. And you should." She said hooking her bag over her shoulder and slipping on her shoes. "I'll be here for the next few days. Call me when you find him."

"Wait." I grabbed her arm when she opened the door. "At least let me wait for your Uber with you. It's getting dark."

It had started to rain as soon as Miki had left but I'd wasted enough time already; going back to my apartment for umbrella would be ridiculous. It was just a little water. I could handle water. I just needed to find Yuzu.

Where would he go? Home? Maybe. I pulled up his mother's number on my phone and gave her a call.

"Moshi moshi? Javier?"

"Okaasan. Hi." I breathed and ran a hand through my wet curls. "Can I ask you if Yuzu is home right now?"

"Yuzuru? I... iie. He ran out of here a while ago. Was he not going to see you? We thought..." She trailed off and I swore into the air silently.

"OK. Thank you. I'll call you later." I hung up quickly and started running. If he wasn't at home, the only other place he probably was, was the ice rink.

"Yuzu!" I banged open door after door as I looked in every room at the rink, but only my voiced echoed back at me. "Yuzu..." I panted and spun around in a wide circle looking and tried not to believe it was empty. It couldn't be. Yuzu was here somewhere. He had to be.

I stumbled onto the ice and my wet shoes made me skid across it until I slipped. I landed hard on my butt and even though it was freezing I couldn't bring myself to move for a long time. I sucked in a deep breath dropped back pitifully onto the ice.

"Yuzu."

The next morning my whole body hurt. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and my head was pounding. I'd had 2 cups of coffee and was contemplating getting a third when Coach Brian entered the rink that afternoon.

"Good afternoon." He said with a smile and I growled unhappily.

"Fuck you. Why are you so happy?" I grumbled. When the thought that he'd probably been out on a date with whoever the new guy he was seeing crossed my mind, jealousy and bile filled my stomach.

"Bright sunshine as always." He rolled his eyes and dropped his gym bag that had his skates in them. "Today we're going to - "

"Where's Yuzu?" I interrupted him.

"Huh?"

"Yuzu." I repeated slowly. "Where is he?"

"Yuzu? He left." Coach Brian blinked and my heart stuttered in my chest.

"What?" It came out as a whisper.

"He called this morning and said he had some last minute promotion work to do in Japan with his sponsors. He..." Coach Brian scratched the back of his neck. "I'm guessing he didn't tell you..."

"He LEFT?!" I stood up too fast and my vision blurred right before I hit the ground with a hard thump.

"Javi!"

"He left..."

"Jesus, Javi." There was grunting next to me as Coach Brian knelt next to me and placed a hand on my head. "He just went to Japan. He's coming back. You don't need to pass out."

"I can't believe he left me..." I murmured and I closed my eyes when Coach Brian sighed.

Yuzuru:

"Yuzuru-san? This way, please?" I startled out of my trance and shove my phone deep inside my suit pocket. Focus, Yuzu. Focus. I was here for my 5th interview of the day and it was starting to wear on my having to answer the same 25 questions all day but... sitting here was better than moping in my room dreaming about things I shouldn't have had any business dreaming about in the first place.

"Hanyu-senshu. Yorusiku onegaishimasu." I smiled at the reporter and sat down across from her as she blushed and shuffled around some papers in front of her. I waited patiently for her to switch on the recorder and then the interview began.

Like most of the other interviews, the questions revolved around the upcoming Olympic games, but I knew around the 8th question that accepting this particular magazine's request for an interview had been a mistake. Popular magazines obviously boosted my popularity as my agents would say, but they came at a price. Gossip was always the highest most expensive commodity for reporters.

"Hanyu-san. Recently there have been a lot of rumours surrounding your relationship with your biggest rival and now training partner, Mr Javier Fernandez. Would you like to comment about that?" I swallowed hard and glared at my agent who was very clearly trying to avoid my glance. It was his job to go through the questions and approve them. How had he approved this one?

"I don't comment on my personal relationships. Thank you." I said stiffly and her eyebrow lifted.

"So there is a personal relationship outside of a professional one?" She asked and I gritted my teeth harder. She waited for me to answer but I was used to uncomfortable silences more than she was. Her lips twitched minutely before she looked at her papers again.

"Since you won't comment on your relationship, would you like to comment on the other rumours then surrounding Mr Fernandez and former figure skater Miki Ando?" She fluttered her lashes and I wanted to rip them from the roots. Slowly. "It seems on social media there is a lot of excitement about a possible new couple - "

"Thank you for your time." I stood up abruptly enough to make her mouth fall open in shock and I gave her a respectful enough bow. "It looks like I have somewhere else to be." I said and walked out of the meeting room, making a beeline for the elevators.

The doors shut behind me and thankfully I was alone. I didn't think I could hold my expression for much longer. I sank against the paneled wall as my legs caved and hot tears prickled my eyes. Don't let them fall. Don't let them fall. I chanted it over and over until I reached the ground floor and could make my way to the car without everything being blurry.

'New couple'... I wanted to throw up all over again. I had barely been inside the taxi after leaving Javi's place when I'd seen the picture Javi had posted of the two of them huddled together on his couch. I'd asked the driver to stop then so I didn't mess up his car. He'd been nice and offered to get me something to calm my stomach.

After that there'd been a video of Miki in his apartment again because Javi had somehow caught the flu and he was the biggest baby when he got sick. I threw up enough times that day seeing the same video and screenshots posted everywhere that my mother had sarcastically asked me if I had morning sickness.

From then on it was like a constant barrage of questions and speculations of who what why and how. And not just online, like with this reporter. Everyone was curious and shameless enough to ask and it was driving me crazy. I'd thought leaving for a while would help give me some fresh air, but the Olympics were far enough away that people could spare a moment to wonder what was going on.

"Nani?"

"I want to go back to Canada today." I said into the phone, squeezing it so hard I heard the screen complained.

"Today?" My mother squeaked. "But you have - "

"Today. Now. I want to go home." I said firmly.

"Japan is your home." She muttered before she hung up and my heart settled in my throat. Of course. Of course Japan was my home.

Landing in Canada had been uneventful. It was quiet in the middle of the day and there hadn't been any updates on my whereabouts on social media so I'd managed to sneak through the airport quietly enough. But now without anything keeping me busy...there was too much time to sit around and think about things.

"Are you going to tell me why we had to cancel all those interviews so you could fly all the way back here to sit and mope?" My mother asked me the next morning.

"I forgot something." I muttered and finished sending off another assignment for my online science class.

"You...forgot something?" She blinked with wide eyes.

"There's a charity skating event tonight. I forgot about it." I murmured and she spluttered loudly.

"Yuzuru! That is not something you 'forget about' what on earth..."

"I have to go. Practice." I lied.

It wasn't exactly a lie. Every rink was different and if I was going to skate tonight, I needed to get a feel for the ice. It didn't matter that I was there a little early.

Security let me in through the back and despite being spotted by a few people whose mouths dropped open when they saw me, I was left alone which I was grateful for but didn't release the tension in my shoulders. Sooner or later the shoe would drop and I would rather be on my guard.

I changed into my practice clothes, quickly slipped on my skates and made my way to the ice. As soon as my skates hit the ice, I leaned down to touch it, letting the cold ground me. At least out here no one would talk to me, ask me questions I don't know how to answer and only judged how perfect my jumps were.

Gradually the sound in the arena got louder as more people started to arrive for the show. I tried to ignore them mostly and concentrated on which jumps I would add for my show piece. Maybe a couple of triples and a single delayed axel because it fit well with the music I'd brought with me...

A quad? Normally I wouldn't think about attempting a quad outside of a competition setting but the crowd really loved those and considering I probably wouldn't be skating my best tonight, I could give them something to be excited about. In my mind I saw Phillipe's eyes round with wonder when I'd showed him some of my difficult quad jumps.

That settled it. I hummed to myself as I skated around the ice, twisting my ankles like Tracy always told us to check the stability of my blade. I went through my routine slowly trying to figure out which jump worked best. A toe loop? No, that didn't seem right. It didn't quite flow right. I needed more of a ...lutz. Right?

The more I thought about, the more right it felt, so I pushed off the ice a little faster and prepared myself to run through a few lutzs to build up muscle memory. I had done a good job ignoring the crowd until then. They had been clapping along with the music playing through the speakers and cheering when one of the other skaters around me landed their jumps...but just as I launched myself into the air a voice somewhere in the crowd screamed.

"Javi!" Javi? Javi was here? My heart thumped painfully in my chest and I knew, I KNEW it was ridiculous because I was literally spinning in the air right now, but I couldn't control my desire to see him. Even just one small blurry little look...

Something hard slammed into me and for a second I thought I was dying because I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth to try suck in some air but it was like I was swimming under water. Not swimming. Drowning. I didn't know how to swim. It was silent. Impossibly silent. Where was everyone? My eyes fluttered open and it was strange that I hadn't noticed they were closed.

It came back to me in a flood of noise. Screaming. It was loud and confusing and giving me a headache.

"Mr Hanyu, please don't move."

"What?" I gasped and shook my head. Of course I wasn't moving. I couldn't move. Something had hit me and...I started to panic. I'd been here before. At Worlds. Someone had run into me and - I patted my face with my gloved hands but I didn't feel anything.

"Sir, please don't move. We're getting a stretcher on the ice as fast as we can."

"A stret ...I'm fine." I whispered, petting my face again. It felt fine. It didn't feel like I'd lost a tooth. And my could move my hands so I was good. "I can walk." I mumbled and tried to get up. A searing pain rippled up the length of my leg so powerful that it knocked me on my back again.

"SIR!"

"No..." I panted and pushed until I was sitting up again. "No. No no no." I scrambled for purchase so I could try to get up again and the same pain shot through me like a bullet.

"Can somebody tell them to hurry up before he breaks something else?" I heard the man kneeling next to me growl and a sob tore through my throat.

"It's not broken." I muttered aloud. "It can't be. It's not broken. It's not." I shut my eyes and wished for the silence again. "It's not broken."

Chapter Text

Javier:

When Yuzu's mother had called me to tell me Yuzu was back in Canada, I had almost passed out with relief. Somehow in my flu delirium a couple of weeks ago, a thought had drifted in that maybe, just maybe, Yuzu would consider moving back to Japan for the rest of his training. Since then I'd been a ball of anxiety waiting for Coach Brian to call me to tell me.

"You need to speak to him, Javi. He's not OK."

"I've BEEN trying to speak to him." I sighed and pulled at my hair at a loss. "He doesn't want to speak to me."

"Javi, he...he tried to burn everything you gave him a while ago."

"WHAT?"

"I managed to stop him but...Javi, please. He needs to see you. I've never seen him like this before."

"Is he home right now?"

"No, He's at..." There was some rustling in the background and she was back again. "He's at Mattamy Athletic Centre right now. There's a charity skating program he's participating in tonight. Maybe you can find a way to speak to him there?"

"Okaasan..." I sighed heavily and gripped the phone tighter. "Arigatou."

"Nonsense. You don't need to thank me." She murmured.

"I thought you didn't like me before."

"I didn't." She replied plainly.

"I'm glad you do now." I swallowed hard and she tsked at me through the phone.

"Hurry hurry. You need to get down there before the show starts."

"Thanks again." I gushed and hung up quickly, grabbing my coat and keys.

Traffic was horrible at this time of the day and I had to catch myself from ramming into the cars in front of me so they would move faster.

"Come on, come on." I mumbled to myself until finally FINALLY I got the the Mattamy Centre.

I wanted to scream when security wouldn't let me in through the back because I didn't have anything with me that proved I was allowed back there. I could have called Coach Brain to speak with the head of security but he was busy all the way at the other side of the stadium and I was in too much of a rush to be even the smallest bit patient.

"Sorry." I whispered as I pushed my way through people a little rougher than I normally would but I had to get to Yuzu before he went back to the dressing rooms and they wouldn't let me in again. "Sorry, can I please just..." I squeezed past a girl who was recording on her phone and my heart nearly beat out of my throat.

There he was, gliding across the ice like the Ice Prince he was. It didn't matter how many times you watched Yuzu skate. It took your breath away every single time. My hands shook as I tried to find a way to get close enough to him to get his attention.

"Hey, excuse me, but that was really rude. You should apologize to my friend for - OMG." The young girl who had just come up to me stopped talking and pointed at my face. "JAVI!" She shouted and everyone in the surrounding seats swung around to look at me at once. Any other time it would have been funny, but not right now. I just needed to get to -

A hollow crack echoed inside the arena and all the once, there was a deathly silence. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I turned around slowly to see what everyone was looking at. There have been many times in my life when I'd been afraid; the worst had probably been moving to a foreign country all by myself to pursue a career that no one had any faith I would be successful in. But looking across the ice and seeing Yuzu lying still in the middle of the rink was another level of scary I couldn't even begin to explain.

"Yuzu ..." Just as I moved to try get closer, a chilling scream filled the air and goose bumps covered my arms. Yuzu was screaming. A small part of me was relieved because that meant he was still with me; but ...

Like a chain reaction, people in the stands around me started to scream too. A few people burst into tears and utter chaos broke out that was so loud and so damn disorienting.

"Sir, I'm sorry, you can't go on the ice right now." A strong hand held me back and it off me.

"I need to see if he's OK." I let out a shaky breath when I saw Yuzu try to stand up and he cried out again. "Please." I hissed at the guard. "Please, I need to see if he's OK."

"Sir, we can't let civilians -"

"I'm not a FUCKING civilian, OK. He's my BOYFRIEND. PLEASE! I just need to - " My voice stuck in my throat when Yuzu screamed again and I guess the guard believed me because he stepped aside and I ran onto the ice.

"Can we get a blanket, he's too cold."

"Mr Hanyu, can you stop moving."

"Do we have a route clear for Toronto General?"

"Are we clear to lift?"

"Yuzu." I breathed when I reached him, grabbing for his hand that was hanging over the side of the stretcher. "Yuzu, are you OK? What happened?" I asked but his eyes wouldn't focus me. "Yuzu?" I turned to one of the paramedics. "What happened, is he OK?"

"Sir, could you please step away so we can transport Mr Hanyu to the hospital."

"But what..." I shook my head to stop the ringing inside my skull. "His mother. Which hospital was it? I need to call his mother."

"You can tell her we're going straight to Toronto General Hospital, Sir. Now if you'll excuse me." I tripped on my feet and almost slid on the wet ice while I watched them haul Yuzu away from me in the stretcher.

"Oh God." I started to panic. "Oh my god. Please. Please let him be OK."

"Javier." I heard a voice behind me then I was enveloped in a familiar smell as Yuzu's mother grabbed me and looked at me with teary eyes. "Where is he?"

"Back there somewhere." I whispered. I couldn't even look. I didn't want to think about it. The whole drive here a million and one possibilities had run through my mind. How many broken bones he might have, could they have caused any internal damage. He'd seemed so out of it when I had tried to talk to him. What if he'd knocked his head on the ice too hard and -

"Let's go find the doctor." She said and dragged me along with her. I almost dug my heels into the ground. Almost. I was terrified to find out what was wrong with him, but I needed to know or I wouldn't be be able to live with the crazy going on in my head until I did.

"Hello, I'm here for my son. Yuzuru Hanyu." The nurse looked up from her computer and surveyed the both of us behind her glasses.

"Only family is permitted to visit patients at this time."

"This is my son-in-law." She said so casually that it nearly made me choke.

"Okaasan..."

"You call me mother. I am your mother." She said stiffly in Japanese. "Yuzu is just being a little stubborn now, that's all. Come on. Let's go." She pulled me again when the nurse gave her the room details and the name of his attending doctor.

"Where is Otousan?"

"He is looking for parking, he will be here soon. Here." She handed me her cell phone. "Can you text him where to find us?"

"Of course." I murmured.

When we got to his room, it took me a while to actually step through the door. The second his mother did she had burst into tears and I could hear her babbling in rapid Japanese. Was I ready to see whatever was behind the door? I didn't feel like it. My hands were shaking again and my lungs weren't working and I wasn't sure I could even see properly. A quick couple of blinks cleared my vision though and I stepped through the door before I had a second to think again.

I sucked in a breath and tears formed in my eyes when I looked at the bed and Yuzu still looked like Yuzu. A dull throbbing intensified in my head and I could feel my chin start to wobble.

"Javi." He said my name softly and the tears I'd been holding back overflowed down my cheeks.

"Jesus, Yuzu, what the fuck?" I hissed and rushed over to the bed. "How are you feeling? What happened? Did you - "

"Javi..." His own chin started to shake and I couldn't take it any more. I reached out and wrapped my arms around him, pulling his head to my chest. His nose was resting right on my thumping heart and I could feel his body shaking in my arms.

"It's OK. You're fine. You're fine."

"It's not OK, Javi. It's not."

"You're fine." I lifted his head so I could look in his eyes, cupping his cheeks with my hands. "You're -"

"My ankle is broken, Javi." He whispered. "It's broken."

"What?" I looked down at the bed and saw a large bump I hadn't noticed when I'd walked in. I'd been so focused on his face...

"It's broken." He said again, his voice sounding empty. "The Olympics is in 4 months, Javi. 4." His eyes were bright with despair.

"Yuzu..."

"It's over. I can't skate anymore."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

The second I saw Javi walk into my hospital room, the weight that had been crushing my chest lifted and all I wanted to do was throw myself in his arms and breathe him in. I wasn't sure why I hadn't expected him to come, but now that he was here it made me realize how disappointed I would have been if he hadn't.

"Javi..." I whispered and the tears that had been glistening in the corner of his eyes started to fall. Shit. If he was going to cry, I was going to cry. My eyes started to blur as he hurried over to the side of my bed.

"Jesus, Yuzu, what the fuck?" He hissed at me and my heart swelled with emotions I had been tired of hiding lately. "How are you feeling? What happened? Did you - "

"Javi..." I muttered just to pause his rambling but I couldn't get anything else out as my chin started to wobble and my vision blurred even more. Damn it. I sucked in a shaky breath and shivered when tingles ran up my spine the second his arms wrapped around me. When was the last time I had felt this warm?

"It's OK. You're fine. You're fine."

"It's not OK, Javi. It's not."

"You're fine." He whispered vehemently and lifted my head away from his chest, holding my cheeks in his palms like he always did when he wanted me to pay attention. "You're - "

"My ankle is broken, Javi." I whispered. "It's broken." When I had heard the doctor say those words to me the room had spun and I had heard nothing else.

"What?" He rasped and his eyes followed mine to look at the cast wrapped around my foot.

"It's broken. The Olympics are in 4 months, Javi. 4." I had been trying not to think about it but now I couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Yuzu..."

"It's over. I can't skate anymore."

"Bullshit." Slipped out of Javi's mouth and he moved again to sit next to me on the bed. "Of course you can. What are you talking about? Of course you'll skate again." His hands were shaking as they fiddled with the blanket around my waist, but his face was steel. Even with tears sliding down his cheeks, he looked as stubborn and determined as ever.

"Javi."

"Stop saying my name like that." He huffed and reached up to wipe his face, taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair. "Stop it."

"I won't heal in time to make it to Pyeongchang." I whispered and noticed my mother quietly slinking out of the room and closing the door behind her. "I'm getting old. I don't know if I have it in me to train for another Olympics." I gushed quietly, spewing all the self doubt that had been lingering inside me for weeks. "I can't do it, Javi. It's killing me, but I c-can't ...I ..." The words stuck in my throat, choking me so suddenly that it was hard to breathe again.

"Listen to me, Yuzu." Javi dragged me into his arms again and I melted into his embrace. It should have been embarrassing but really it felt like home. "If it was anyone else in this world, I would believe it. But not you. Never you."

"Contrary to popular belief, I am a human being." I mumbled into his chest and he squeezed me tighter instead of laughing.

"No one else in this world should have been able to skate after they were bleeding all over the ice like you did at Worlds. It was fucking crazy. It was insane. Do you know that?" He rumbled into my ear. "It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen in my life and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't half in love with you after that."

My heart skipped a beat and I bit my lip curling closer into him as if it was even possible.

"Really?" I sounded like a child but there wasn't much I could do about that right now.

"Promise me." He said seriously.

"Promise what?"

"I know it's going to be hard...but promise me you'll try."

"Javi -"

"I told you to stop saying my name like you want me to bend you over this bed." He growled at me and I swallowed hard at the wave of want that passed through me. "Promise me. You and me, Olympic Champions." I sat back and looked at him like he was crazy. I opened my mouth and the look in his eyes told me he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Do you promise me?"

"Olympic Champions?" I whispered.

"Champions. You and me." He nodded resolutely. I sat there for the longest time just looking into his eyes wondering what the hell I had ever done in my past life to deserve someone who looked at me like he was right now. Was there anything worth the amount of faith in me that was shining in his eyes right now.

"You and me..." I repeated slowly. "Champions."

"Is that a promise?" I laughed in exasperation and wiped at my eyes uselessly.

"I don't..." I whispered hoarsely. He was asking for a lot. It was too much. Just thinking about the magnitude of what he was asking was overwhelming...but the vision was already too tempting for me to say no. Too bright. Too close for me to give up on it now.

"...I promise."

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'm OK." I half wished I did have something to ask my mother to do so she could stop hovering by my side for a minute and go do it. I sank deeper into the sheets and watched her flutter around the room like a moth trapped in a glass as she rearranged things for the 50th time and muttered to herself about things she needed to take care of at home.

"Okaasan. Let me take that." I sighed with relief when Javi breezed into the room like a breath of fresh air, snatching the vase of flowers from her hands and setting them aside. "Don't you need to go home? You should be resting." It was still strange to me that my mother who had all but called him useless a few months ago was now looking up at him with stars in her eyes.

"Will you be OK? I can bring breakfast in the morning and - "

"Okaasan. Estamos bien. Hmm? We spoke about this already." They bickered some more as he led her out of the room but came back safely and more importantly, alone.

"She worries too much." I said, eyeing him from my hiding place under the covers.

"It's her job to worry." He mumbled and dropped the bag he'd been carrying next to my bed. "How are you feeling? Still loopy?" I nodded slowly and closed my eyes when Javi pressed a kiss on the side of my head. The pain medication I was on right now was practically horse tranquilizer and I was struggling to keep my eyes open, but I'd been waiting for him since he'd left in the afternoon.

"I'll live."

"Mmhmm." He hummed. "Do you want to take a nap and then I can help you take a bath when you wake up?" He whispered while he played with my hair carefully and I blinked at him.

"Can I bath now?" I asked.

"Can you stay awake long enough?"

"I can try." He pursed his lips as he looked at me thoughtfully then nodded once.

"OK. Up we go, Dumpling." He lifted me up blankets and all, carrying me over to the bathroom.

"Javi!" I spluttered and he chuckled as he pushed the door open with his hip.

"You know I won't drop you." He set me down carefully on the toilet and unwrapped the layers of bedding to get to my cast. "Let's wrap this first."

I sat quietly and painfully still as I watched him take his time covering my cast with plastic so it wouldn't get wet in the water. I took the time to study his face in detail. It hadn't been long, but in my heart it felt like we'd been apart for ages. Centuries. Was that a new wrinkle twisting along the side of his mouth? I could definitely tell that his jawline was a lot sharper. Had he lost weight? I hadn't noticed when he'd picked me up just now. Or was it just the new beard he'd been sporting? It suited him. A little rough around the edges but beautifully roguish.

It made my cheeks heat and I wanted with everything in me to lean forward and kiss him but somewhere in the dizzying pool of yearning was that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that this wasn't real. This is just Mr Perfect Javier Fernandez helping a friend who -

"Yuzu? Did you fall asleep?"

"Okite imasu." I muttered and he patted my cheek gently.

"Sit tight. The water's almost ready."

"I told you to stop calling me." The uncomfortable feeling in my bladder had pulled me from my sleep and I blinked in the darkness to try and figure out where the whispering was coming from. There was a strong sigh and a squeak of a chair and then I caught sight of Javi's dark locks illuminated by the light shining through the hospital windows.

"I told you he's fine." A pause. "Laura, don't believe everything you read. How many times do I have to tell you that?" A scratch and another pause. "No, I haven't spoken to him yet. What do you mean 'why not?' Because he's barely conscious half the time -" His eyes found mine in the reflection of the window when I turned on the light near my bed and his hand tightened around the phone.

"I have to go. Stop calling me." He hung up and tossed his phone on the chair. "Hey Sleeping Beauty. I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"I need to pee." I answered softly, moving to get up. He let me try by myself this time after I'd thrown a fit about how I was supposed to make it to the Olympics if he couldn't even let me try to go to the bathroom alone. It was tedious and I was sweating by the time I made it back to my bed, but it felt like it was worth it when I saw the smile on Javi's face.

"You did great." He beamed at me and helped tuck in the blankets around my legs. "You'll be back on the ice in no time if we just - "

"Javi." I interrupted him.

"Hmm?" He looked up at me. "Do you need something else?" He stood up straight when I nodded. "What is it?" I took a deep breath to steel myself and looked him in the eye as resolutely as I could.

"We need to talk."

Chapter Text

Javier:

"We need to talk." As soon as the words left Yuzu's mouth, the air in my lungs disappeared and I wanted to slam my head on the nearest flat surface over and over again. Shit. I'd been hoping to avoid 'talking' for as long as we could, but there was a look in his eyes that told me he wasn't going to let this ...whatever this day had been...go on for much longer.

"Yuzu." I sighed and pulled a chair closer to his bed so I could sit down. "What - "

"How are you even here?" He muttered sleepily. "Aren't visiting hours over?"

"I wanted to stay with you." I answered honestly and his eyes widened.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I broke up with you." He whispered.

"And I still love you." I shrugged and his lips pinched together. "I love you. And you're hurt. I told you I don't like seeing you in pain. How can you I stay away from you?"

"Anata wa sono - " He started shaking his head.

"Hai. Ore wa bakadesu." I meant to say it with conviction but I was tired and looking at him, REALLY looking at him, for so long was starting to make my chest hurt. Tears sprung in my eyes unexpectedly and I looked down at my hands in my lap for a second so I could try to remember everything I'd wanted to say to him in the last few weeks.

"I miss you." I mumbled eventually. 3 words. Out of all the words shouting at me in my head, those were the loudest. They were so simple, but the weight of them pushed the tears hanging on the corner of my eyes down my face. "I miss you so much I don't know what to do with myself."

"Javi."

"Don't say it."

"What do you want me to say?"

"That when you fell you knocked your head and now you have amnesia and we can forget any of this shit happened?" I scoffed out loud when I looked up and his face was still serious. "Oh, come on that was at least just a little funny."

"I told you why we can't be together." He mumbled.

"No, you gave me some lame excuse that you expected me to swallow and then kicked me out of your house. I was too confused to even try defend myself." I tried to keep from raising my voice.

"It's not stupid." He replied, eyes flaming now and sitting up in bed. "It's my life. My career."

"Yuzu, I understand that this..." I waved my hands around for some reason. "World you live in is intense. We're both professional athletes. I get that."

"So why can't you understand that being together is just a distraction that - "

"Because I fucking love you!" I hissed at him. "There are things in this world I love a lot. My family. My friends. Skating. But none of them even come close to how you make me feel. Not even close." I started choking on my own words but they wouldn't stop spewing from my mouth. "God, I don't even...It's driving me crazy because I'm starting to feel like this past year...everything I thought we were feeling together, I was really just feeling alone. And as much as I want you to love me back, I can't force you to. I can't force you to love me, Yuzu."

It was difficult to look him in the eye, but I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath. "But I'm willing to fight to stay by your side until the day you tell me you hate me ..." I saw his mouth open and I rushed to finish "And mean it. Look me in the eye and say it. I'll leave right now." I shivered with adrenalin and wondered what I would do if he actually did it, but for the longest time he just looked at me before sighing quietly and sinking back into his bed.

"You're so stubborn."

"Pot, Kettle." I said to him with a laugh as I wiped the tears from my face. "No one is more stubborn than you. That's why I know you can do this." I said putting a hand beside his injured ankle. "You can heal. And you can skate. And you can get that gold medal." He huffed slightly

"I already have an Olympic gold medal."

"Two Time Olympic Champion has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" I tried and the tiniest crack of a smile appeared on his lips. "Right?" I nudged him gently and stood up to fix his pillows. "And two time Olympic Champions need to sleep so they can get better and start physio." I hesitated for the briefest second before brushing the hair on his forehead back and letting my hand slide down his cheek.

"Javi..."

"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Javi." A soft voice whispered in my ear and I started.

"Yuzu?" I muttered but when I blinked a few times to clear my eyes, I saw his mother standing next to me.

"I brought you breakfast." She said quietly and pointed to a bag she'd left on the table. "Eat." She said in a tone that meant if I tried to argue I'd end up in one of the other hospital rooms.

"Thank you." I ate the breakfast Okaasan had brought for me and because Yuzu wasn't awake, grabbed the bag of fresh clothes near the bed and headed to the shower. I stood there for a good five minutes just letting the hot water wash over me and release the tension in my shoulders before I moved. God, was the nightmare really over? I was too wary to believe it, but I ...my heart leapt with excitement in my chest. Did I finally have Yuzu back?

"Why aren't you at practice?" Yuzu asked when his doctor had finished his latest checkup.

"What?" I blinked at him.

"Practice." He repeated slowly. "If I remember correctly, you promised we would go to the Olympics together." He raised a brow. "So why are you not training?"

"I ..." I fumbled with my words. "You...I need-"

"I'm perfectly fine here." He patted the sheets covering his legs. "If a little cold."

"I can get you a blank -" I said standing up.

"I want you to go to practice, Javi." He rolled his eyes before he turned serious. "I'm not winning this one by chance again. You better be in peak condition when we compete or I'll kick your ass."

"You said a bad word."

"Stop distracting me."

"Is it working?"

"No." He shook his head and I let out a heavy sigh.

"Fine. I'll go."

"Good."

"I'm already late though." I glanced at my watch. "Coach is just gonna send me to Mistress Ekaterina again."

"Maybe he'll feel sorry for you today." He said hopefully. He didn't know Brian as long as I did. I gave him a look, but I knew there was no point in arguing further.

"I'll see you later then?" He smiled brightly at me and nodded.

"Later." I hesitated again before moving closer to him. His eyelashes fluttered for a second before he closed his eyes and leaned in to brush his lips on my cheek. "Can I get one on the lips too?"

"After practice." He poked me in the chest.

I sighed as I pushed through the doors of the ballet studio. Coach hadn't even bothered to look at me before he banished me from the rink until he received a call from Mistress Ekaterina.

"Back again?" Stephane asked with a laugh.

"I missed you guys." I tried and he let out a low hum.

"Sure..."

"What class is today?"

"The littlest of the little ones are practicing for their recital today."

"Oh God, Phillipe's one is in a few weeks, isn't it?" I brushed my hands through my hair. Yuzu and I had promised to go but it looked like I'd be going alone.

"Yeah. Do you want to help me set up?"

"Children are exhausting." Stephane proclaimed as he collapsed into a chair.

"But so adorable." I smiled picturing little Amy tip-toeing as best as she could around the studio.

"Too cute." He agreed and then sat up quickly fixing his shirt. "Hello?" My eyes followed the direction he was looking and I blinked in surprise when I saw who was standing by the door, wringing his hands nervously.

"Shoma? What are you doing here?"

"I ...Hello." He blushed slightly and nodded in Stephane's direction. His eyes lingered on his face before turning to me. "I was trying to find out which hospital Yuzuru is in so I can visit." He stepped into the room slowly.

"Ah..." Okaasan has threatened anyone Yuzu's circle with a slow and painful death if they revealed anything about where he was to the press so everyone had their lips shut pretty tight. "I think I'm done here?" I asked Stephane who was still looking at Shoma like he was a piece in an art museum.

"Yes, we're done for the day." He said.

"Great, then I can just take you there myself. I just need to grab my stuff."

"Are you also a figure skater?" I heard Stephane ask quietly.

"Me? Um...yes. Yes, I skate."

"I see. Your posture is a little..." I looked up just in time to see him make a funny face. "But I can fix that in a few lessons if you're willing - "

"Stephane." I warned.

"What?" He blinked at me. "I was just offering some classes."

"Ok, well if Shoma is interested in classes then you can talk to him later." I hooked my arm around his neck and dragged him with me. "We gotta go. Bye, Stephane!"

We were almost at the car when Shoma asked me gently.

"Stephane? Is his last name by any chance Lambiel?"

"Mmhmm." I agreed and unlocked the car. "Why, do you know him?"

"He..." He pointed back at the studio. "Mr Lambiel is an ex World Champion figure skater." He said looking at me like I should have know that.

"No shit? Really?" He'd always seemed impeccable in his ballet lessons but now that I was imagining him on ice I could kinda see it.

"You...I see what Yuzuru was talking about." He said as he got in the car.

"What?" I stopped with the key in the ignition. "What did he say about me?" I waited for him to answer but he just put on his seatbelt and waited for me to start the car. "Shoma."

"Nothing"

"But."

"Unlike you, I have to stick to visiting hours." He said bluntly and I let out a short laugh.

"Sorry." I started the car.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

"Yuzu. Are you awake?" I looked up as Javi peeked his head inside the door.

"Barely." I mumbled. I'd been sleeping too much lately from the pain medication.

"Good. You have a visitor." He smiled and opened the door wider to until I could see a nervous looking Shoma standing beside him.

"Shoma?" I shifted so I was sitting better in the hospital bed. Thank God I was being transferred tomorrow to a specialist rehab facility so my physical therapist could keep a closer eye on me. "Itsu tsukimashita ka?"

"Kino." He said sneaking past Javi. "It was a mission trying to find you."

"Gomen." I chuckled sheepishly.

"I nda yo." He waved his hand and grabbed the chair next to my bed so he could sit down. "Your boyfriend led the way." I could feel my face turning a bright pink but I didn't know anything I could do to stop it.

"He's - "

"Don't bother lying to me." He huffed and gave me a look. "Seems like he's perfect for you." His eyes followed Javi who was setting out bowls of who knew what on the table. He looked up at me when he was done and gave me a small smile.

"He's amazing." I whispered. Looking at him now it was hard to think about the fact that I'd almost pushed him away from me forever.

"Thanks for dinner guys, but I need to get back to my hotel." Shoma said looking at the time.

"I'll text you when we get to the rehab centre." I said and Shoma nodded as he walked around to give me a hug.

"I'll see you then, I guess. Just sucks that you won't be skating at the Olympics anymore."

"Oh, I'm still going to skate." I said and he stepped back, his mouth falling open.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I pinched my lips and thought of how much effort it would take to do it, but Javi met my eyes from across the table and he looked at me with such pride my resolve hardened.

"Yes, I'm serious." I pulled out the sheet of paper I'd been scribbling on last night. "I've been researching training methods off the ice and if you look at the numbers - "

"Yuzuru."

"And I've been calculating according to my ISU scopes - "

"Yuzu, matte."

"I can do it." I said firmly. His mouth opened and shut wordlessly until he sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"If anyone can do it, it would be you."

"I'm glad you have faith in me." I felt Javi squeeze my knee under the table and reached out for his hand before he could move it.

"You're crazy."

"Only a little." I beamed at him and he laughed.

"There must be something in the water lately." He said as checked the time again.

"What do you mean?" I prodded.

"I..." He winced and rubbed his chin slowly. "I kind of fired my coach."

"You did WHAT? Shoma, it's the middle of the season." I gasped and stared at him with wide eyes.

"I didn't know what else to do." He shrugged. "I've been stuck in a rut. I needed a change."

"A change like ending your career?" I was still boggling at his bravery.

"Hey, changing coaches worked out fine for you." He smiled at me. "Speaking of coaches, why you didn't tell me Stephane Lambiel is in town." I blinked as I tried to rearrange my thoughts.

"Stephane? I thought you knew."

"He looks good." Shoma said and a strange look passed over his face, but it was gone before I could read it. "I'll see you when I can, Yuzu."

"Matta ne." I waved as he left the room.

"Tired?" I sighed as Javi slid his chair close to mine.

"Exhausted." I mumbled and looked at the empty bowls of food on the table. "Thank you for getting dinner."

"Of course." He pressed his mouth carefully on my cheek. They drifted closer to my lips slowly like he was asking a question. I let my head fall back a little and looked him in the eyes for a second before kissing him quickly. He sucked in a small breathe and leaned in to kiss me back. His kiss was languid and soft and when his hand curled up my neck and into my hair, I couldn't stop the moan that escaped from my lips.

"I brought some - Oh." My mother stumbled to a stop in the middle of the room and shut her eyes quickly. "Gomen. Sorry."

"Okaasan." Javi got up from the table. "If I knew you were coming I would have come to help - "

"Nonsense. I only brought a few things. Everything is ready so we can leave tomorrow." She gave Javi a pat on the cheek when he took the bag from her and came over to give me a kiss on the head. "My baby." She murmured. "I'll leave you two alone. Sleep well, OK?"

"You too." I said and she as left as quickly as she came. I sighed loudly and let my head sink to the table. "One day I'm going to die from embarrassment."

"You're not allowed to die without my permission." Javi said pulling me into his arms again.

"Oh." I chuckled with mock relief. "Of course. The grim reaper has to consult you first."

"I'm not letting him anywhere near you." He said nuzzling my neck.

"Mmm." I hummed. "I'm not sure I can give you the same sense of security."

"I can take care of myself."

"Mr Hanyu." I looked up when my PT entered the room. "How are you feeling today?"

"Like I should be walking by now." I muttered and he sighed.

"Mr Hanyu. If I could fast forward time for you, I would. But I can't." He sat down one end of the bar that I used to hold myself up during exercises. "The human body heals at its own pace."

"It's taking too long." I gritted through my teeth in Japanese. It had been 4 weeks already and no one had cleared me to even put weight on my ankle. Fresh tears lingered at the edge of my eyes but I pushed them back and looked at my PT. "I want to try walking today."

"I don't recommend that."

"If I wait for people to recommend things, I'll be skating in 2020." I spat out and grabbed my crutches that were resting on my bed. My poor PT gaped at me as I hopped closer to the bars and held on to one.

"Sir, I really don't think now is a good time to do this. Can you wait another two weeks or so?" I ignored him. My hand was trembling but I took a deep breath and put my foot down on the floor. Easy enough. I peeked up through my hair and my PT was watching me carefully.

"One foot in front of the other, Yuzu." I whispered to myself and took a step. As soon as my ankle felt the weight of my body, I crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes. "Oh my god." I cried out in pain. It hurt. It felt like my foot was on fire. "Oh god."

"Yuzu." I felt warm hands on my shoulders. "What's wrong with him?"

"A bad case of stubbornness." My PT answered Javi as they helped me off the floor. "He was trying to put weight on his ankle."

"If you tell me I was being stupid, Javi, I will punch you in the balls, I swear." I grumbled at him and he looked at me with such understanding in his eyes the tears I'd been holding back earlier came back.

"I know it feels like it's taking ages but we should give it as much time to heal as possible. Your water training starts next week, right?" He brought his hand to my cheek and used his knuckles to brush away the tear rolling down it. "Come on, that's going to be fun, right?" He tried to get me to smile but I didn't have the heart to.

"I'll go get some ice for your ankle." My PT said and left the room while shaking his head.

"It's frustrating, Javi." I explained when he looked down at my ankle and touched it lightly.

"I know."

"I want to skate."

"I know."

"I want - "

"Lunch?"

"Don't try and distract me with food." I pouted at him.

"I even brought hot chocolate." He pulled out a flask from a bag I hadn't couldn't see and handed it to me. "I wasn't sure what you wanted so I asked your mom and she made you some of those dumplings you like." He paused when he saw the face I was making. "What?"

"Nothing...I." The words stuck in my throat and I tried to push them out but I could see my PT on his way back with an ice pack. "Thank you."

"You're hanging out with Stephane?" I asked Shoma when he came round to visit me after my session with a new PT. The doctors had given me a pass to put weight on my foot this week and although the giant boot was uncomfortable, it was much easier to get around than with the crutches. I sat down on the bench and Shoma joined me.

"He's nice." He said and I blinked at him when he didn't add anything else.

"Nice?"

"Yeah. Nice."

"Ok." I let it go and focused on the matter at hand. "Have you found a new coach yet?"

"No."

"Have you looked for one?"

"No."

"Shoma." I couldn't help laughing but I was in shock. "What are you going to do about the Olympics?"

"I'll go without a coach." He said like it was simple.

"You'll sit in the Kiss and Cry alone?"

"I guess so." He turned to look at me. "I know you're worried about me but you don't need to be. Focus on yourself." He nodded at the foot brace. "How does it feel?"

"Much better." I said but my stomach was still pinched with worry. It hurt. It hurt a lot but I was going to have to get used to the pain if I wanted to jump.

"If you feel better, then...do you want to come with us?"

"With?" I frowned trying to remember if anything important was happening besides the upcoming holidays.

"Yeah, the ballet kids have their recital tonight. Stephane invited me and I know you haven't seen Phillipe dance yet."

"Yeah, I ..." I had completely forgotten about the recital with everything that had been happening, but I knew Phillipe had been working hard all through the year and Javi was proud of how far he'd come with skating. He'd invited me himself as well when I'd been giving him mini lessons at the rink. A few hours of my time and some pain killers would be worth it to see him on stage.

"Sure, I could come with." I said, excited now. I hadn't been out anywhere since I'd come to the rehab centre.

"Cool, I'll let Stephane know." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started texting.

Chapter Text

Javier:

The crowd of parents behind the stage curtain was just starting to get louder when I entered the Green Room and spotted Mistress Ekaterina traipsing around looking absolutely stunning in all white.

"Javier." She greeted me with an air kiss and floated along the room to make sure everyone was absolutely ready. "My little flowers, does anyone need any help with their costumes?"

It wasn't quite as stressful as waiting for my time to skate, but it still made me nervous waiting for the little ones. I hoped that at least they had fun and didn't give in to stage fright.

"Javi." Shoma made his way over to me and gave me a pat on the back. "Have you seen Stephane?" He asked and I pointed to the back of the room where he was pinning Jessica's hair into a neat bun. There was something about the way his face relaxed when he spotted him and something about the way his eyes sparkled just a LITTLE more when he looked at Stephane that made me pause. I'd felt that expression on my own face long enough to recognize it but before I could say anything his attention was back on me.

"I went to visit Yuzu earlier. He's looking great." I couldn't help the smile growing on my face.

"Isn't he? He's amazing."

"I agree. He is amazing. But he could just sit out this Olympics. He's already got a gold medal hanging on the shelf. He's one medal away from a super slam..." Shoma's eyebrows raised thoughtfully. "Is there a reason why you're pushing him so hard?" He asked and the weight on my shoulders doubled. I opened my mouth to try and figure out how to explain myself but nothing came out. Not even air. I was saved a second later by a breathless Stephane.

"Shoma! You came." He gasped and Shoma lit up like a Christmas tree.

"How could I not." He beamed and I shuffled out of his field of vision to the safety of the backstage wings.

The programmes were short. The kids were excited to show their parents what they had been working on all year, but we all knew well enough that most parents were there just to see their children smiling. For the most part it went smoothly with only a few hiccups that were easily overcome with a few giggles. I kept vigil from one corner of the stage while Stephane manned the other and before we knew it it was all over.

"High-five?" Amy asked me shyly and I bent down to hold up my hand for her to slap.

"You did great, squirt." I gave her a smile and it summoned an army of little ones all asking for a high-five.

"Thanks for being a good teacher Mr Fernandez." Phillipe smiled at me when he came for his high-five.

"Oh, I'm Mr Fernandez now?" He giggled when I reached out to tickle him under the arms. "Hey listen I know that you wanted - " While I was speaking Phillipe let out a squeal as his eyes focused on something behind me.

"You CAME!" He took off like a shot and I stood up to see which family member he'd been excited to see. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Yuzu leaning his crutch against the wall so he had his arm free to give Phillipe a hug.

"I did. Did you see me in the crowd?" He asked while petting his hair. Phillipe shook his head no. "Well, you were dancing beautifully. I'm glad I didn't miss it." I let them speak for a little while longer but as soon as Phillipe was dragged away by his mother I sauntered over to him.

"Mr Hanyu." I said borrowing Phillipe's tactic. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I had some free time." He said with a cheeky smile. He looked incredibly delicious right now. It was rare to see him in a suit and he'd opted for an open shirt with no tie. His hair that usually hung over his eyes was slicked back and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to remember to keep my hands to myself.

"So what time does Cinderella have to go back?" I asked leaning on the wall next to him. Damn, he even smelled intoxicating tonight.

"I was thinking maybe I could sleep at your apartment tonight." He whispered just loud enough for me to hear.

"If you come to my apartment, you won't sleep at all." I whispered back and his big brown eyes blinked at me while his cheeks turned bright pink.

"Is that a promise?" He asked, unusually flirtatious. The arousal flickering in me flared hot and fast and if we didn't get out of here soon I was going to do something stupid.

"Wait here." I ordered him as I left to go find Mistress Ekaterina to tell her good night.

I locked the door while Yuzu set his crutches down again, this time on my couch. He had barely let them go when I lifted him in my arms.

"Javi!" He gasped and gripped my arms tightly.

"That's the only thing you're allowed to say for the next few hours." I muttered and he laughed out loud as I carried him to the bedroom. He huffed in exasperation when I dropped him on the bed but he still had a smile on his face. It disappeared when started taking off my jacket. His mouth fell open when I started unbuttoning my shirt and I couldn't deny the rush of pleasure I felt from being something someone as beautiful as Yuzu desired.

"If you're wearing anything expensive, you better take it off right now." I growled and his eyes widened minutely before he sat up and started pulling off his shirt. He'd just managed to get his pants over his Aircast brace when I pounced.

"Javi, matte yo." He giggled when I dragged my beard over the length of his neck. His breath hitched when I switched to my tongue and a quick bite with my teeth brought out that moan I'd been waiting forever to hear. It had been too long. Too long since I'd tasted his skin like this and far too long since I'd felt the pressure of his fingers digging into my back.

I felt like I could barely breathe when I pushed inside him an eternity later and his body shifted to hug me closer.

"Don't." I hissed. If he moved again this was going to be over way sooner than I wanted it to.

"Move." He commanded me and I struggled to hold back my laugh.

"Yuzu..." I had to close my eyes and took a deep breathe before I could look at him again. "Can you wait like half a sec - "

"If you don't move right now, Javier, I will kill you myself." He whispered fiercely and it was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen in my life.

"I'd like to see you try act-uuuuuuh." I grunted when Yuzu rolled his hips and squeezed me tighter. "Fuck you."

"Yes. Fuck me." He whined and I sighed as I dropped my head to his shoulder. "Javi..." He whispered my name in my ear and whatever restraint I'd had shattered.

"Solo recuerda... tú te hiciste esto."

"OK?" I asked Yuzu as I helped him out the bath tub. He nodded and let me help him until he could sit on the stool I'd brought over for him. I could feel his eyes on me when I knelt down to remove his brace so I could wash his ankle. He was quiet when I opened it and ran my fingers over the fading bruises. It had been difficult to look at before but...

"It looks great now." I said looking up at him. His eyes held mine for a moment before they softened.

"I'm still scared." He whispered.

"It's OK to be." I pursed my lips and thought of what Shoma had said earlier. He could sit out this Olympics. My heart pinched at the thought though. It hurt. Because then...

"I'm scared, but I can do it." He interrupted my thoughts. I said nothing. I picked up the bottle of ointment on the floor and started rubbing it on his ankle.

"Warm?"

"Toasty." Yuzu smiled and kissed my cheek softly.

"Hungry?"

"Maybe later." He wrinkled his nose.

"I have to tell you something." I started and he raised a brow. "It's almost Christmas. I have to go back to Madrid." For the smallest moment disappointment coloured his face but he hid it well.

"Oh. Of course. You should be with your family for Christmas."

"Since I won't be here...can I give you my present now?" I asked carefully and he pouted.

"I told you not to get me anything. It was just my birthday." His birthday had been a muted celebration in his new room and I would be surprised if he even remembered that day after the amount of pain medication he was on from the day before.

"Think of it as a late birthday present then." I got up to get the box out of my side table drawer and handed it to him. He stared at in in his hands for a while before opening it slowly. It had taken me a while to find something I could give him but as soon as I had seen the necklace at the jewellery store I had to get it. Yuzu always had some or other collection of necklaces around his neck so I didn't think he'd mind adding another.

"It's so pretty." He played his fingers over the beads, a mix of onyx and turquoise.

"The lady who sold it to me said that the onyx is supposed to help absorb negative energy." I explained while I picked the necklace up out of its box. "While the turquoise is for luck. For success. And for health. It's not exactly a Winnie the Pooh doll but I figured it's the best good luck charm I can give you." I motioned for him to turn around so I could put it on him and when he turned back to look at me, his eyes were watery.

"Thank you. It's beautiful." He said and touched it again. "I love it."

"Yuzu." I whispered into his ear and he frowned in his sleep. "I have to go to practice."

"Mmm." He grunted and rolled over, pulling the blanket up to his chin. I pressed a kiss on the top of his head and left my room before I decided it was worth whatever punishment Coach Brian would give me now that the ballet studio was closed for the holidays.

I tried to remember the diet plan Yuzu had been given at the facility. It has been tweaked a little for better muscle growth, but all it had taken was one look at some of the containers Okaasan had given me to eat later for me to say fuck it. I made some soup according to the instructions and laid out everything he would need to reheat it later.

A quick cup of coffee and my own breakfast later, I whipped up a batch of hot chocolate and headed back to my room to grab my bag.

"Yuzu."

"Go away." He muttered.

"Okiro!" I patted his butt through the blankets and he opened his eyes to glare at me.

"Aho."

"I made you breakfast. I have to go now."

"Go where?"

" I told you." I stooped low to kiss him again. "Practice. Do you not want me to go?" He was quiet for a while before he answered,

"If you're not at your best at the Olympics, it won't be worth it." I snorted out loud and kissed his lips this time.

"OK. I'm going. Don't forget breakfast."

"Mmhmm." He hummed. He rubbed at his eyes and when he looked at me again I snuck in one more kiss.

"I love you. Bye."

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I was exhausted. There wasn't a part of my body that didn't ache somehow and all I wanted to do was sink into a warm bed with Javi's arms wrapped around me and sleep for a month. But I couldn't stop now. It was too close.

"Yuzu." My agent called out to me as I hopped in place testing out my ankle. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Of course." I huffed and twisted my body to prepare it for the jump.

"There's only 3 weeks left until the Olympics and there is still speculation about whether or not you'll be competing. We've been talking and we think maybe you could do an interview so that you can answer any pressing questions."

"OK." I murmured as I landed with a wince. Ouch.

"I know you don't like the press but if you give them a chance - " He stuttered to a stop. "Huh?"

"I said OK." I sighed and looked at him. "We can do an interview."

"Hontou ni?"

"Don't make me change my mind." I threatened and he held up his hands, scurrying away before I could say anything else.

My agent set up the interview with prominent news channels that had large sports segments from Japan and other interested countries rather quickly and it was only a few days later that they were setting up their cameras in Coach Brian's office and peering at me with unconcealed interest as I warmed up with Coach Ghislain.

"You ready?" He asked me after checking my skates.

"No." I said quietly and he stilled at my unusual honesty.

"If you really don't want to do this you can still say no."

"I'll be OK." I smiled at him when he looked like he didn't believe me and he sighed as he handed me my skates. I could feel the camera on me as I sat down to put them on. For some reason, the world found it fascinating watching me tie my laces. It didn't seem particularly exciting to me... although it was quiet sexy watching Javi's hands when he did his own laces. The sharp fast movements as he tugged them tight did something to my skin that made it tingle with awareness. OK so maybe there was a reason.

I took a deep breath and pushed off onto the ice. The reporters currently snapping a thousand photos of my every move didn't know this, but it was my first time on the ice since the accident. I'd been keeping to ground exercises and training in the pool to keep the weight off my ankle and Coach Brian was only letting me on the ice today to calm the media as my agent had suggested. It felt like coming home in the best way possible and I couldn't help the smile spreading on my face.

I didn't attempt anything fancy. Under Coach Ghislain's watchful eyes, I went through my normal series of warm up drills and did a few laps around the ice to test the pressure on my ankle. No jumps. I skidded to a stop by the rail where he was standing and his eyes were shining as he looked at me proudly.

"Stop." I warned him.

"I didn't think I'd see you on the ice again so soon."

The same sentence was repeated to me a few minutes later when I sat down for my interview.

"I'm sure you can understand how surprised we all are to see you standing." She said and I took a few seconds to organise my thoughts.

"I love skating. Skating is my life. I was born to skate." I ignored the lump of emotion forming in my throat. "Nothing can keep me off the ice for long." I finished with a smile.

"I'm sure that's the case for the Wonder-Kid of the nation." She said brightly. "But being back on the ice is one thing. The question that has been on everyone's lips is will Yuzuru Hanyu still be competing in the coming Winter Olympic Games?"

"My name is still on the roster with the National team. I will be competing in the Olympics Games." I said firmly and her eyes blinked in surprise.

"Really?" She broke composure for a moment. "I apologize but when you accepted our interview invitation there were a lot of us that assumed you would be announcing your retirement from competitive skating."

"Well...everyone is entitled to their opinions." I said plainly and her lips pursed into a thin line.

"Of course."

"Mr Hanyu, you've mentioned in several interviews that all the jewellery you wear is significant to you somehow. A few fans have noticed that recently you've added another necklace to your collection. Is it also very significant?" I reached up to touch the necklace Javi had given me before he'd left to visit home.

"Yes, this necklace is very precious to me. It was given to me by someone special."

"By someone special could you be referring to your rumoured boyfriend and rival Javier Fernandez?" I said nothing. My agent had made it clear that I would not be answering any questions about my personal life. He might have thought he was clever sneaking that one in but I had no problem staring at him until he realised how stupid he looked.

It was painfully quiet.

"Do you feel like you're handling the pressure of the Olympics differently now as an adult than you did as a teenager?" Someone asked to break the silence and the stupid reporter had the nerve to look grateful.

The rest of the interview proceeded rather smoothly for a while. I went around showing the cameras all the equipment I had been working with off the ice and went through the research I had been compiling on mathematically calculating how much my body could stand in comparison to what sequence of jumps would give me high enough scores to win another gold medal.

"Win?" One reporter piped up from the back of the group.

"I'm not going to the Olympics for fun." I stated as I clipped my file shut. "I'm going to win.

"I mean, considering the circumstances...is it even possible?"

"We'll have to see." I said and led the small group back out into the main rink.

"And are you not worried about what preparations the other competing skaters are making? Do you think about them at all?" Someone asked.

"Don't you think they're the ones worrying about me?" I bit back a little icier than I had intended but they were annoying me now. "I mean, you're all here. That tells me the current Olympic Champion is a bigger threat." When their mouths all fell open I smiled and turned back to the rink. "Now if everyone would like to follow me, I would like to give everyone a sneak peek of my costume for the free skate that I'm a little excited about. It was designed by - "

They followed quietly like good little sheep.

I was dreaming peacefully when warm hands slipped around my waist and pulled me closer under the covers.

"Javi?" I muttered sleepily.

"My dumpling. Mi cariño. I missed you so much." He pressed his lips on my temple.

"When did you get back?" I rolled over so I could look at him better. He looked tired but I was happy to see him again.

"A few hours ago." His lips brushed lower over my cheeks. "Did you miss me too?"

"Zutto aitakatta." I wrapped my own arms around him and pulled him closer, breathing in his smell.

"How much did you miss me?"

"Too much." I sucked in a breath when his body moulded against mine and I could feel his heartbeat on my own chest.

"And what did my baby do today?"

"Do you really want to know or are you distracting yourself?" I bit my lip when I felt him rubbing my leg.

"Both." He chuckled and I settled in deeper, running my fingers up and down his spine.

"I woke up and I had some breakfast."

"Mhmm."

"And then I went to the doctor for my last checkup."

"All good?"

"All good." Just barely. He had looked at me with a pinched expression but let me go with a new smaller ankle boot and an ankle support strap.

"And then?" He hummed as his lips travelled across my collar bone.

"Practice. I really missed being on the ice."

"I saw your interview." He said and lifted his head to look at me with a smirk on his face. "You rarely let your God Complex shine. What happened?"

"My 'God Complex'?" I balked a little.

"Well deserved God Complex. I was proud of you." His smile was endearing. "Also it was kind of sexy."

"Sexy?" I could feel the blush colouring my cheeks rapidly.

"So sexy." He whispered and leaned down to kiss me finally. It was soft and deep and when he pulled back I whimpered with disappointment. "You need to sleep. We'll come back to this in the morning."

"You're - "

"So bad, I know."

One week. There was one week left until the opening ceremony of The Olympics. Our bags were already packed and the flight was tomorrow. I still hadn't managed to land any jumps. I was getting worried.

"Don't stress about it." Javi said as he took my gloved hands in his. "I know you. You're thinking too much in that little head of yours, aren't you."

"No." I mumbled like a sulky toddler.

"Don't bother lying to me. I can see it on your face." He squeezed my hands. "Look at me. Do you remember what you said in your interview?" I shook my head and his lips twitched. "You said you were born to skate. The ice is your home. So skate. Stop thinking. No one is here. Just you and me and the ice."

Javi, me and the ice? It reminded me so much of that first time we'd spent time together in the practice rink and I'd been so nervous but he hadn't made me feel self conscious at all. It was the first time in a long time that I'd felt free from the pressure of the competition and that feeling had been strong enough to move me all the way to Toronto. He was right. I was thinking too much.

The first jump was bumpy and I twisted my ankle to much to land right but the second jump... I skidded to a stop with my mouth open.

"You did it!" Javi cried from behind me and I gasped with surprise when he grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. "You did it."

"I did it?"

"I'm so proud of you." He whispered fiercely in my ear.

"We're going to the Olympics." I mumbled in half shock.

"We're going to the Olympics." He repeated and I sagged with relief into his arms.

Chapter Text

Javier:

"Are you ready?" Okaasan asked me as we disembarked the plane.

"I'm never ready." I smiled at her and then we entered a wave of paparazzi and I had to close my eyes for a second to adjust to the flashing lights. "Jesus Christ." Okaasan giggled next to me and took my hand to pull me to the side a little and then the shouting started.

"Hanyu!" was all it took and it was chaos. I fully understood why Yuzu chose to wear earphones and was listening to his favourite playlist as we made our way through to fetch our bags and meet up with Coach Brian and Tracy. I had joked about Yuzu and his minor God Complex but moments like these made it easy to see why he would have it. It was crazy seeing how many people had come to the airport in PyeongChang just to catch a glimpse of him.

The ride to the Olympic Athletes Village was quiet but I enjoyed watching Yuzu turn into an excited puppy as soon as we pulled up to the large dark grey gateway.

"Wow. It's so pretty." He plastered his face against the window to get a better look. The brown and white two-toned high rise apartment buildings loomed over us as we passed through check-in.

"Do you know who your roommate is yet?"

"Shoma." He said happily.

"Ah, I'm not sure who mine is yet. I'll text you when I get my room number."

"At least we'll be in the same building." He said as he paged through the booklet.

We tumbled out of the car and hurried through the cold into the warm apartments. They were simple but stylish enough and from the looks of the activities area on the board at reception, there was plenty of activities to keep the athletes busy when they weren't training and waiting for their competitions to start.

"Mr Fernandez." The lady behind the counter smiled at me when she took my check in pass. "Welcome to PyeongChang."

"Thank you." I got my room key-card and I watched Yuzu leaving for his room while she explained to me what I should do if I lost it.

"And of course if you have any problems with your electrical adapters you can always call down to reception and ask for one." She finished politely. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"I think I'm good." I waved the key-card and grabbed my bags. "Thanks."

"Have a nice stay, Mr Fernandez."

Inside, the rooms were just as simple and stylish as the rest of the building. Two single beds, or rather Olympic size single beds considering a lot of Olympic athletes were bigger than the average sized person; two bedside tables; two very fancy looking night lamps and a small area to eat and watch TV that led to the shared bathroom. I texted Yuzu my room number before taking a quick peek from the fake balcony outside the window. I could see quite a few people already had their home countries flags displayed on the rails.

"Hello?" I heard coming from the door and turned to meet my roommate.

"Jin. How are you?" Jin Boyang. The first Chinese figure skater to medal for the Men's singles at Worlds. The first person to land a quad lutz in a competition with a good GOE. A worthy competitor. He smiled at me as he shook my hand.

"I'm great, what about you?"

"All good. I didn't think you'd make it this year." Boyang had been involved in a nasty car accident around the same time as Yuzu's accident and like Yuzu, the world had speculated about whether or not he would compete.

"I'm tougher than I look." He winked at me and dumped his bags on his bed with a sigh. "So this is it. 4 years of training for 2 days of skating."

"When you put it like that..." I winced.

"Worth it, though. To be part of history."

"Do you think they'll write about us in college textbooks?" I asked him and he laughed out loud.

"They better choose a good picture of me."

"Nah, you don't have any bad pictures. You look adorable like, all the time." I said and a sharp cough sounded from the doorway making Jin stand up straighter.

"Hanyu."

"Yuzu." I tucked my phone back inside my pocket. "You ready to go?" He nodded at Jin and then looked at me before walking away. "See you later, Jin."

"Hey wait up." I jogged after Yuzu as he stepped through the snow to the practice rink in the building on the far side of the village. "What's the rush? We're just having a meeting with Coach Brian." He pursed his lips and said nothing.

Something was wrong. Yuzu was nicknamed The Ice Prince by the media but very rarely did he radiate iciness when he was with me. His cold shoulder was currently giving the weather outside a run for its money. We went through a final run through of our programmes to see if there were any jumps we might like to change before we submitted the final document to the judges for scoring.

"Yuzu." Coach Brian looked up sternly. "Deviate if you need to."

"Yes, Coach." He nodded stiffly. We had done a final costumes check before we left but we would do another fitting again tomorrow with Tracy and we were left with strict instructions to maintain our diets lest we not fit into them at the last moment. Our last command was rest. PyeongChang had a pretty high altitude level and it would take couple of days for our bodies to adjust.

"Do you want to come back to my room?" I whispered to him on our walk back. Now that I knew who my roommate was, I wasn't so worried about it being weird having Yuzu over a few times. Jin was cool.

"No." He said plainly. I blinked.

"OK, then we can go to your room and - "

"No." He said again and pushed the button for the elevator when he reached it.

"Yuzu, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." He didn't look at me as he stepped inside. I got in after him and watched him carefully until the elevator pinged on my floor. He let out a squeak when I grabbed his hand and pulled him out with me.

"Javi!" I didn't answer him until we were in my room and I shut the door behind us.

"Tell me."

"Javi, really." He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest and pouted like a baby for a while before he cracked and sagged against the wall. "Do you really think Boyang is cute?" He asked with a tiny voice and I had to physically stop myself from laughing out loud.

"Jin? This is about Jin?" I asked incredulously. He have me an icy glare and I shut my mouth quickly. I pulled him closer to me and he fell clumsily into my arms. He turned his head stubbornly when I tried to kiss him so I brushed my lips along his jaw.

"Are you telling me that Yuzuru Hanyu gets jealous?" He let out a violent string of Japanese too fast for me to understand and I chuckled to myself as he tried to push me away. "Yuzu, listen to me. No one is as cute as my dumpling. Hmm?" He scoffed as I planted a kiss on his neck but the next kiss he stopped struggling and melted into my arms.

"I don't believe you." He muttered and I followed the vein in his neck up to his chin making him moan softly.

"I love you more than anything." I mumbled into his skin. "Do you know that? More than skating. More than this world." He shivered against me and I was about to bend him over the nearest flat surface when a startled gasp brought me out of my trance. Shit. It was stupid of me not to check that the room was clear when we'd walked in. A quick look over Yuzu's shoulder revealed a wide eyed looking Jin clutching his toiletries as he came out of the bathroom.

"Um..." I expected Yuzu to let go of me and pretend like nothing happened but instead he straightened up to his full height and faced Jin while still clinging to me.

"Boyang." Jin's mouth opened and shut like a fish for a few seconds then he pointed behind him.

"I think I forgot something." He gasped and scurried back into the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, I should have checked he wasn't here." I said softly.

"It's fine." Yuzu's face was flushed pink.

"I'll talk to him."

"Yeah. I'll just...go back to my room." He said but didn't move.

"You OK?"

"I ..." He looked down and when my eyes followed his I saw the reason why he hadn't moved yet. I smirked and he smacked my arm. "Shut up. Just give me a minute."

A couple of days later I caught Yuzu's gaze lingering on another one of our fellow competitors, Vincent Zhou, as he skated by us on the practice rink. His eyes travelled back to mine and I narrowed mine at him.

'What?' He mouthed at me pretending to be innocent.

"Stop trying to make me jealous." I said into his ear when he skated back to the railing to get a drink of water.

"Is it working?"

"If you think I won't spank you here in front of everyone, think again." I muttered and he looked at me for a long time like he was trying to figure out if I was joking or not. Apparently he saw what he needed to see because his eyes stopped wandering.

The noise in the arena was loud enough to reach the dressing rooms and it finally sunk in. We were about to skate in the Olympics. I ignored the cameras trying to sneak footage of the dressing rooms and snuck over to Yuzu's side.

"How are you doing?"

"Nervous." He answered honestly.

"Me too."

"I want my country to be proud of me." He whispered.

"They will be. Look how far you've come." I wanted so desperately to reach for his hand and squeeze it. "I'm so proud of you."

"And you." He gave me a small smile. "I'm proud of you too. Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"For... everything." He shrugged enigmatically.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

Walking out into the arena was a moment I would never forget. It felt overwhelming in both the best and the worst ways. Somewhere in this crowd of people was my sister and my parents. I didn't want to look for them. It would make me even more nervous.

"Good luck, Dumpling." Javi whispered softly behind me and it made me relax a little. If someone had told me a couple of years ago that I would be here at the Olympics with my boyfriend waiting to skate for the world with a programme that I loved an had chosen for myself? I would have told them they were insane. I felt insane. I was bordering on giddy.

That could also be the pain tablets though. I hadn't told Javi, but I'd landed a little heavy at practice yesterday and the pain in my ankle had been eye watering. There was a list as long as my arm for performance enhancing drugs I wasn't allowed to take that would disqualify me for the Olympics but luckily they didn't exclude pain medication.

The door to the rink opened and I dropped down to touch the ice as I stepped on it. Please be kind to me today, I begged it silently. After a few minutes of warm up spins and subtly testing the flexibility in my ankle, I penguin walked backstage again to wait for my turn to skate.

"Our next skater representing Japan. Yuzuru Hanyu." The woman's voice filled the arena and I stepped on to the ice. Coach Brian gave me a beaming smile like a proud parent.

"Good luck, kid." I nodded my thanks and he held out my Winnie the Pooh doll so I could give it one last squeeze for good luck. I dropped to a squat and whispered my prayer to the ice. Reached up and gave Javi's necklace a brief touch and then pushed back and skated out to the middle of the ice. Although it was quiet there were still fans I could see in the stands waving the Japanese flag and a few scattered 'Ganbatte!'s' that I could hear while I crossed my chest like Mistress Ekaterina taught me to remind myself to keep my posture during my jumps.

Then the music started I could feel my body moving, but I didn't remember consciously making a decision to. I trusted my muscle memory enough to flow with the music, and all I could think about was flying. Freedom. I loved doing what I do and I wanted the world to see that so desperately for some reason. Before I knew it I was doing my last flying sit spin and then it was over. The roar from the crowd was deafening.

"They're still clearing up the dolls." Coach Brian laughed in my ear as I sat down next to him and Coach Ghislain at the Kiss and Cry waiting to see my score. The short programme wasn't my biggest worry but it didn't hurt to go into the free skate with a comfortable score.

"Yuzuru Hanyu has earned for the short programme 111.68 points -" and I couldn't hear the rest over Coach Ghislain's cheering in my ear.

"Welcome back." He said and I laughed.

"Good start." Coach Brian said proudly next to me and I agreed. A good start.

When it was Javi's turn to skate I stood up to join Coach Brian at the rails, my Winnie the Pooh doll clutched tightly in my hands. Javi had once said the red and yellow reminded him of the Spanish flag and while I didn't want to disrespect my own country, I was glad I could give him just a little support.

"Should you be standing?" He asked me.

"I'll be fine." Javi circled the ice while they announced his name and I couldn't keep the smile off my face. He looked dashingly handsome in his grey pants and the fitted tuxedo like faux jacket in deep black velvet that matched my signature velvet pants that I liked to skate with. He was skating to Charlie Chaplin and it was a very Javi programme. Funny and carefree. I whooped and clapped just as loud as everyone else when he landed his first jump.

"The score please." I crossed my fingers while Javi sat next to Coach Brian and Tracy at the Kiss and Cry cuddling little teddy bear wearing an outfit just like his that someone had thrown down from the stands.

"Javier Fernandez has earned in the short programme 107.58 points. He is currently in second place." Javi looked up and met my eyes while I huddled backstage. Game on.

The day of the free skate was a little different. Coach Brian informed me that I would be skating last today because it took too long for the flower kids to pick up all the dolls everyone threw into the rink when I finished skating. I was OK with that but the wait was torture. And my ankle was on fire. Shoma had given me a look in the morning when I'd come out the bathroom limping but he'd said nothing and I was grateful. An ice pack and some more pain killers later I was ready to give the last skate for the season everything I could.

This time I didn't watch Javi skate. I sat backstage with earphones in my ears and waited until Coach Ghislain came to tap me on my shoulder.

"Are you ready?"

"No?" I blurted out and he laughed. I hadn't been paying attention to the scores on the screen so when I walked out and saw Boyang, Shoma and Javi sitting in the current winners podium section I almost clapped. I was so proud of them. But right now I needed to focus on myself and getting through the last 13 elements of my free skate.

When I skated to the middle of the ice it was dead silent in the arena. I could have heard a pin drop. The first deep note of my music, Seimei played and I skated. It was a blur really. Somewhere in the middle of my programme my ankle gave out and I stumbled but I caught myself before I hit the ice. There was a moment when I jumped my last jump and I wanted to laugh I was so dizzy with relief. This was it. The last stretch. When my hand brushed the ice during my hydroblade I curled my hands into a fist, the wetness soaking through my glove. Just a little longer.

The noise when I hit the last pose for the end of my programme brought tears to my eyes. It was done. There was nothing more I could do now. I bent down to bow to the crowd but my body was so weak I had a hard time getting up again.

"Thank you." I muttered to the ice. Around me the flower kids were frantically skating up and down trying to pick up the toys and other gifts but I ignored them. "Thank you." I reached down to touch my ankle lightly wrapped tightly in the bandage and the ankle brace I had put on that morning.

"You were amazing." Coach Ghislain said and clapped as the screen showed the replay.

"Thank you for teaching me this season, Coach." I stood up from next to him and gave him a bow. He chuckled but motioned for me to sit down.

"Sit. Rest. The score is coming."

The announcement of the score had me pumping my fists with excitement. 206.17. A season's best. I didn't realise until I was led over to the winners circle next to the kiss and cry that it meant I was in first place.

"Yuzu." Shoma jumped up excitedly. "Yatta ne."

"I'm exhausted." I laughed and fell into his hug. Behind him I could see Javi standing and waiting for me.

"Yuzu." He called for me softly. Shoma stepped aside so I could walk up to him. "Congratulations. You are now a two time Olympic gold medalist. How does it feel?"

"It feels great." I beamed at him and he gave me the most lovely smile back, pulling me in for a hug. I didn't care that there were millions of people watching me right now. It felt great to finally relax in my boyfriends arms. I sighed as he petted my hair gently.

"Yuzu."

"Hmm?"

"I want to tell you something." He said quietly.

Chapter Text

Javier:

It was over. It was finally over. The relief, the pride, the exhaustion all hit me at once and it was an overwhelming feeling. I watched Yuzu wobble over to the winners circle, cheeks and nose still pink from the cold and I wanted to hold him in my arms and love him forever.

"I'm exhausted." He told Shoma and then his eyes met mine over his shoulder.

"Yuzu." Shoma shuffled to the side so Yuzu could walk over to my side of the couch. "Congratulations. You are now a two time Olympic gold medalist. How does it feel?"

"It feels great." His face lit up in a radiant smile and I gave up resisting the urge to touch him. He was just as tall as I was in his skates.

"Yuzu."

"Hmm?"

"I want to tell you something." I lowered my voice in case there were any microphones nearby.

"What do you want to tell me?"

"It has been the biggest honour and privilege to skate with you. Actually this is my last competition with you..." I took a deep breath and said the words I'd been scared to say for weeks now. "I'm retiring."

"What?" He gasped in my ear and took a step back to look at me with his big wet eyes. "Are you being serious right now?" I nodded my head because if I tried to speak I was sure I would start crying.

"You are so bad." He said loudly and the wetness in his eyes overflowed. "Oh God." He tried to wipe the tears streaming down his face but gave up after a few moments and pulled me in for a hug again. "How could you do this to me?" He whispered fiercely. "I need you. I can't do this without you..." His hands curled into fists, wringing my jacket.

"I'm sorry."

"I love you." He said with a wobbling voice.

"I love you too." I said back, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. "I'll always be here for you. And you'll always be number one in my heart. I just can't skate anymore." I don't know if Yuzu forgot that we were standing here talking in front of hundreds of people and the millions who were watching at home or he just stopped caring, but when his lips touched mine I stopped caring too. Yuzu's kiss was soft and oh so sweet. He tasted of tears and spring and I was so happy that this shy little dumpling had let me become a part of his life. He sighed happily when the kiss ended and rested his forehead on mine.

"I'm upset that you did this right now but... if this is what you want, I'm happy for you. Congratulations on your retirement."

"Thank you."

"You're getting old." He teased me.

"Careful. I'll make you regret that later." He giggled softly and then there was a cough next to us.

"Boys, we need to get going. There's still the medal ceremony." Coach Brian said and Yuzu and I gave each other a look before both reaching out to hug him.

"Thanks Coach."

"Arigatou gozaimasu ...Coach."

"Oh." Coach Brian went still briefly. "I don't know what's happening but we should get moving before the journalists descend." The lights around us were already flashing like crazy. It hurt to look anywhere but at Yuzu right now.

"Ready?" I asked him holding out my hand. He didn't even hesitate as he took it.

"Let's go."

"You got balls, Fernandez." Came a loud voice from the back of the dressing room while we were waiting for them to get the podium ready for the medal ceremony.

"Shut up, Keegan." I laughed when he patted me on the back.

"Good for you, man. You both look so happy its sickening." I looked over at Yuzu who was talking with the American skater, Adam Rippon; famous for the Rippon Jump technique. Adam was gesturing with his hands while Yuzu nodded slowly, his eyes shifted until he caught me staring. His lips curled and Adam stopped talking making Yuzu turn back to him. "Like I said. Sick." Keegan mimed throwing up and I punched him in the ribs.

"Shoma? Yuzuru? Javier? Time to go." Yuzu skipped over to where Shoma and I were lined up, squeezing between us and fluffing Shoma's hair.

"Yamero." Shoma muttered but Yuzu just poked him in the cheek.

"Smile. You got silver."

"I just have things on my mind." Shoma said seriously enough that Yuzu stopped bugging him.

"What things?" Before he could answer the purple curtains opened and we were being led to the podium.

I was going to miss this, I thought as I got up on the third block. I was happy. I was proud of myself. This was the first ever Olympic medal for Figure Skating for my country. Shoma skated over to my side and shook my hand then climbed up on the second step in his usual stoic manner and the entire stadium started clapping when Yuzu skated out onto the ice. He bowed in all for directions in true Yuzu style and then skated around to my block. His hands where cold as he patted my back and I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He grinned at me and headed over to Shoma's block and hugged him briefly before jumping on his number one block.

"Javi? Javi!"

"Dad?" I blinked when my mom walked out of the crowd of people and suffocated me in her arms. "Mom, I thought you weren't coming." When I'd spoken to my parents on the phone before the competition started my mom had told me my father was getting sick again and maybe he wouldn't be able to travel.

"How could we not come." My father huffed and I got a strong pat on the back from him. "And miss my boy winning a medal for España? Huh?"

"Dad..." I had thought I'd be ok with them just supporting me from home but seeing them here made me really happy. "When did you get here? Did you find a hotel?"

"Oh we're staying with the Hanyu's." My mother said casually. "They found us a great room. Lovely view."

"Mr and Mrs Fernandez. Cómo estás?"

"Maravilloso." My father yanked Yuzu close to his side and patted his cheeks. "Well done my boy." He said in English and Yuzu looked like he was going to cry again.

"Leave my boyfriend alone." I murmured to my dad and pulled him back to my side. Yuzu slipped his arm around mine.

"Ey, my son in law needs to get used to how we do things in this family soon anyway."

"Dad." I sighed but I was smiling.

"Didn't you propose?" He asked seriously. "Isn't that what you two were whispering about earlier?"

"Papá!"

"Leave the boys alone." My mother said. "We just came to say hello. Mrs Hanyu said come eat dinner with us at the hotel tonight and then we'll see you again after the gala, OK?"

"What just happened?" Yuzu asked me.

"Just smile and nod, Baby. Smile and nod."

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing." I switched off my phone and tucked it in my pocket.

"What did you do?" His eyes narrowed and I kept my lips sealed until he started taking out his own phone from his bag. After the kiss Yuzu had stayed away from his social media which had given me a chance to post some photos I'd been dying to post before he asked me to delete them. The most current one was currently going viral online.

"You should be getting ready, not looking at your phone." I scolded him and he rolled his eyes.

"I could say the same about you."

"I'm already ready." I moved back to show off my outfit but he looked unimpressed. Of course he did. Compared to his gala outfit, mine looked like it belonged in a bin somewhere. When he stripped off his shirt my eyes followed the line of his spine upwards and lingered on his beautiful neck that only had my necklace now. I snuck my arms around his waist and when I nuzzled his neck he smacked my hands.

"No."

"I just want to touch you."

"Later."

"Did you pack your bags?" I was sick of being in the Athletes Village.

"I did."

"Later then." I dragged my nose along his neck just breathing in his smell and goosebumps prickled his skin.

"Later." He repeated.

Breathtaking. That was the only way I could describe how Yuzu looked in his swan outfit for his Notte Stellata gala piece. Under the dark minimal lighting in the arena they sparkled beautifully and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Yuzu skated out in front of me but he held his hands out backwards and he didn't need to tell me twice. I grabbed them quickly and when I was close enough, I curled my arm around his waist again.

"Let's have fun tonight." He said.

"Lets." I agreed and he laughed happily.

Chapter Text

Yuzuru:

I hope I'm not late I thought to myself as I jogged my way through to the rink where Javi was teaching his class. After he'd officially announced his retirement from competitive figure skating to the world everyone had asked what next. Javi's answer had seemed obvious. What had started out as punishment from Coach Brian had developed into something Javi could really enjoy doing with his time. He was still skating and he got to share his passion with the little kids in his hometown of Madrid while spending time with his father who wasn't doing too well these days. Phillipe had been sad to see his new skating teacher go but was happy with his classes from the last time I spoke to him.

"Now, if we want to do a flying sit spin do you remember what we need to do first?" Javi asked the kids in front of him but they weren't really paying attention. A few of them had spotted me creeping up behind him and were looking at me with wide eyes and open mouths. "Pablo? What are you..." He turned around just as I got right behind him and the kids burst out laughing when he got a fright. "Jesus...what are you..." His eyes softened. "When did you get here? I thought you were going to stay off your ankle longer."

"I'm already not doing Skate Canada, how much longer do you want me to suffer?" After the Olympics my ankle had swelled up again and my doctor had fussed and huffed until I agreed to stay off it longer to let it heal properly.

"You're such a baby."

"I'm your baby." I argued and he smirked.

"Are you, now?"

"Don't look at me like that with children in the room." I said quietly.

"How am I looking at you?" I raised my eyebrow and he snickered. "Little ones, I think that will be all for our lesson today." He said and to his surprise everyone erupted in a chorus of complaints.

"Can't we see one cool trick before we go?" A little girl sitting at the back asked and everyone around her agreed.

"Please Mr Hanyu?" I checked with Javi and he shrugged.

"If you want to." He knew more than anyone how difficult it was to say no when I so badly didn't want to disappoint anyone and he'd been firm in teaching me that it was OK to say no sometimes. But they were just excited little children...

A few hydroblades and a Biellman spin later they were happy enough to go home.

"You're a great teacher." I said to him as he stacked the cones away in the storage room.

"Really? Sometimes I don't feel like it."

"Trust me. I can tell. They love you."

"Mmm." He hummed simply and clapped his hands when he was done. "You want to go to lunch?"

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Are you accepting?"

"I could eat." I let him lead me outside the rink and we both skidded to a stop when we saw it was raining.

"Did you bring an umbrella?" He asked me.

"No. Did you?"

"No." His eyes filled with a look I knew very well though.

"Javi..." I warned him but he just laughed and pulled me out into the rain with him.

"Come on, Dumpling. It's just a little water." I snorted but he was right. It was just a little water. In fact it reminded me of that time when I'd first come to Toronto. It had been raining and he'd taken me to lunch as well then.

"Javi?" I called out to him and he stopped, the rain soaking his hair and beading on his eyelashes.

"Yeah?" I smiled at him and shook my head.

"Nothing I just...Let's ...vamos."

THE END

Chapter Text

Shoma:

I was disappointed. It was the strongest feeling I'd felt in a while and I hated it. Why was I so disappointed anyway? While I was waiting in the line for the medal ceremony, Yuzu-kun bounded over to me and fluffed my hair like a child. Normally I wouldn't have minded but today...

"Yamero." I mumbled and he poked me in the cheek.

"Smile. You got silver." That was exactly why I wasn't smiling but he didn't need to know that.

"I just have things on my mind." I said.

"What things?" He asked and I was saved by one of the staff opening the curtain to let us through. The ceremony was short and I tried to smile for my photos with Yuzu and Javi but I was getting anxious now. Had he left already?

Being short was really a curse I grumbled to myself as I scanned the crowd milling around us after getting off the ice. I was trying my best but I couldn't see him anywhere... Just then a distinct dark head of hair appeared in the crowd and disappeared around a corner. I had to get to him quickly.

"Stephane." I called out to him and he stopped walking. When he turned to face me I tried to hold my posture but it was too much effort and I sagged in front of him. "I'm sorry." I said plainly.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked in that lovely accent of his. I'd never understood why people fell for accents but I could completely understand now.

"I...couldn't fulfill our agreement." I wanted to pout but I didn't want him to look at me like I was a spoilt child. When I'd gathered up the courage to ask him to be my new coach at the Christmas party, he'd looked at me for a while before telling me that if I could win the gold medal at the Olympics, he would start training me the next day.

"Shoma, you silly boy." He sighed and walked closer to me, placing a gentle hand on my head.

"I know silver isn't gold but I tried really hard and I thought maybe if -"

"Shoma, slow down." He said calmly and I closed my mouth slowly. "I'm going to be honest and say I didn't expect you to win the gold medal at the Olympics. At least not against a living god like Yuzuru." He pursed his lips before he continued. "But I also didn't expect you to win silver too. The level of competition this year was intense and you exceeded my expectations." I blinked up at him not really knowing where he was going with this.

"If you're ready to take the gold at the next Olympics, I'll see you in my studio the day after the gala." He said sharply and turned on his heel with the grace only an ex ballerino could possess.

"What?" Had he just agreed to be my new coach?

Chapter Text

(Coming Soon) Let me just fix my brain first