Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Alright, what's this, and what does it do?"

"That's the control wheel. It allows the ship to move up and down."

"Good. How and when do we use it?"

"Uh— for using, you push it forward with your foot to make the ship go down, and you push it back to make it go up. For purposes, it's used commonly for going into stormgates, but it is also used when islands or other landmasses have a different buoyancy than others."

" Bene ," Helvius smiles, leaning back on the railing. "You learn quickly. Soon, you'll be able to steer without supervision."

Tatiana blushes slightly at the compliment. Luckily, it's easily hidden by the darkness of night. Helvius insisted that she had to learn in less-than-optimal conditions, and at night was the easiest to train for. They had taken one of the smaller MooShu ships, as it was smaller than most and easier to maneuver.

Tatiana still felt a little awkward when steering a ship, but Helvius and their crew were always there to help guide her. The last few months had been a bit of a culture shock. The pirate world was nothing like the places Tatiana came from, and it was uncanny to see the scarlet on her clothes whenever she reached for something instead of her usual purple.

Tatiana shivers. "I don't know how you can stand being out here in such a thin shirt. Are you sure you don't want your coat back?"

Helvius chuckles, pushing themselves off the railing to stand next to her. "Nah, it's fine. I've always run hot, and besides, you were shivering up a storm. I couldn't just leave you like that."

Tatiana rolls her eyes. "Yes, and I run cold, so you didn't have to do anything."

"Then I'll just feel bad," they say, wrapping an arm around Tatiana's shoulders.

She knows she shouldn't be surprised at this point, but it still shocks Tatiana how much Helvius is willing to touch her. Ever since Tatiana started to learn ice magic, she had always run slightly cold, and since she became the Divine Paradox, she had constantly been freezing to the point that anyone who touched her had always flinched.

Tatiana hadn't felt this nice and relaxed in what could be described as forever. It felt good to step away from The Wizard for a bit, where she could just be herself without everyone looking at her for help. Here, she could just be.

But Tatiana had a past she could never run from; one day, it would return for her. There would always be someone who needed The Wizard, and there was always someone keeping an eye out for her.

So when she felt that familiar tingle, she merely sighed and opened her Spellbook.

"The Arcanum is summoning me."

"The who?"

"The Arcanum, it's a secret magical academy. I'm an understudy there, and if they're summoning me, then it means I need to get there as soon as possible."

Helvius blinks. "what—no, wait," they motion for Tatiana to move. "let me steer; I'll get to the docks quicker."

They grab the wheel and make a sharp turn, the ship moving with them. The ship moves quickly and smoothly, much smoother than anything Tatiana could do. They were close to land, so it was a quick sail.

"Aye, Captin, you two have fun out there?" someone shouts.

Tatiana sees Bonnie Anne and Sarah lounging at the docks' end. She hadn't spent much time around them, but they both seemed nice.

"Well, we did before this one got summoned to this secret wizard collage, so it looks like we have another adventure on our hands."

Bonnie Anne, and Sarah immediately shift into a more severe standing and nod, but Tatiana is only confused.

"We?"

Helvius looks at her like she's grown a second head. "Yes, we; what did you think I'd send a crew member out alone? That's not how things work around here." their posture changes until Tatiana can only assume they're Captin instead of Helvius. "Bonnie, you go gather the rest of the crew. Sarah, you're coming with us."

Bonnie Anne nods and heads inside while Sarah comes over and stands on Tatiana's other side. They both turn to look at her.

"Do you have a way of getting there, or do we need to go somewhere?"

"...I have an apartment there. I can teleport us."

Both of them nod and link their arms with hers. Soon, the familiar icy chill creeps up her back, and a light blue light covers her eyes. Then they're standing in the middle of her little used apartment.

"Well, this place sure looks interesting!" Helvius says with a smile, placing their hand on their hips.

"Where are we? That's no view I recognize," Sarah questions, looking intensely out one of the windows.

"Ah, just outside of the greater Spiral, I think."

"Why," Helvius asks. "These areas are dangerous, and I don't think anyone would ever willingly stay here."

"We do not have time to get into it here. I'll tell you later."

Tatiana speed walks toward the door and lets Helvius and Sarah through. Fitzhume probably has the information she needs, and as she passes the Spiral Door, she can already see him where he usually is, looking annoyed as usual.

"Oh look, it's the Hero of Unicorn Way. What? I'm a librarian. I do my research. But seriously, nice job saving us all from cataclysmic doom."

Helvius merely raises an eyebrow.

"You and I really are a lot alike, you know. We're both made to perform tasks we didn't sign up for, and never get the credit we deserve. For instance, after the Musicology Scholar blew up his office, who managed the cleanup and did all the paperwork to move him into a new one? Me. And when Ione needs someone to fix her rat problem, or was it a mole problem? Yes... fix her mole problem, who does she run to?"

Tatiana looks at them, exasperated.

"That's right, me. LIBRARIAN Fitzhume. I've two millennia's worth of books to Dewey decimalize, yet Princess Ione makes me call the exterminator. 'Hero of the Arcanum' is what they should call me. Oh well. You should probably go help Ione before that mole makes too big of a mess. And make sure your friends don't make an even bigger one."

Tatiana sighs and waves over Helvius and Sarah to The Storm Scholar's door but stops them before entering. 

You two should wait out here. I don't know how she'll react to new people."

"Alright then, we won't move a muscle," Sarah says. 

Helvius nods and leans on the wall, watching her. Tatiana merely sighs, shakes, and opens the door.

Ione looks out the window at the back of the room, lost in thought, but she turns and straightens herself as Tatiana enters a more familiar position.

"Ah, Wizard, welcome back. What you've heard is true. The

Arcanun has a mole. But first, we must attend to the matter of

your rank."

"Oh?"

"Besting the primordial powers of creation and saving all life in the Spiral goes well beyond the responsibilities of an Understudy. In addition, your work to unite the factious forces of Light and Shadow, as well as the Arcanum and Council of Light, deserves special recognition."

She moves over to a cabinet, pulls out a complete set of gear, folds and arranges it neatly, and offers it to Tatiana.

"Thus, I hereby promote you to Arcanum Liaison and grant you the appropriate uniform. I also wish to personally extend an earnest... thank you."

Tatiana carefully takes it and puts it into her bag. From what she could see, it was relatively close to the outfit she had on. She would have to look at it later to see if her stitch was better.

Ione coughes slightly and straightens once more. "Now, onto the mole issue. Following Grandfather Spider's... retirement, we've been monitoring Cabal communications for attempted retribution. Unfortunately, we traced many of the communications right back here to the Arcanum. The Musicology Department, to be precise. After the Medulla headache, we ask that you, the Arcanum Liaison, be the first to confront Scholar von Trap. For liability reasons, of course."

"Of course," Tatiana says emotionlessly as she slowly retreats. "Well, I better get on that."

She leaves before Ione can respond. Helvius and Sarah fall into line just behind her as she heads toward her new goal.

"Apparently, there's a mole—and not just the animal kind—"

"And we've been tasked to deal with them?" Sarah questions

"Pretty much."

They stopped before what could only be The Musicology Department. There are crates of various instruments littering the hall; when they enter, even more line the walls. The Musicology Scholar—surprisingly, an actual mole—sits by a piano at the room's far end. They don't seem to be playing but singing a small tune.

"Gah! Was ist das!?" they shout.

"Surrender, Cabalist mole!" she shouts, and while she doesn't look behind her, she can tell that Helvius is trying not to laugh.

"Such an odd greeting... Oooh," they laugh, "I think I see what is going on here. Come, let us speak."

They motion for them to come closer, and reluctantly, they do.

"First with the introductions. I am Maulwurf von Trap he/him, Scholar of Musicology, a very exciting magical discipline which we have no time to discuss."

Helvius chuckles a bit.

"As you have observed, I am a mole, but not of the sneaky-sneaky-infiltraty variety, no, no. In fact, it is I who uncovered the latest Cabal plot."

Helvius and Sarah look at her in slight confusion, but Tatiana makes an 'I'll tell you later' motion with her hands.

"Indeed, Grandfather Spider may be silenced forever, but his former underlings still carry his old, Shadowy tune. As we speak, a fiend named the Scarlet Shrimpernel is plotting to retake Khrysalis!"

Khrysalis? She is both surprised and not. Tatiana can see Sarah crinkle her brow.

"He plans to assassinate King Pyat Morningsword and seize the throne. You know this world, yes? Then you must go to Bastion and thwart him!"

They nod and leave the office, no one speaking until the door closes behind them.

"Are we sure we can trust this mole, Captain—something seems fishy about him."

"Not like we have any other option. Tatiana, do you have any way to get us there?"

She smirks slightly. "Have either of you ever used a Spiral Door?"

"No."

"Not in my memory."

As they are walking, Tatiana starts to go through her keyring and stops when she gets to Khrysalis's key. Once at the door, she turns the key and watches as her ring glows and disappears, replaced by a handle. She lets Helvius and Sarah go before her, and when she steps on the other side, the door automatically closes, and the handle disappears, replaced with her keys dangling from the lock.

"Well, this place sure looks interesting."

Khrysalis is just how she remembers the overcast skies, diluting the whole world. This place doesn't hold the best memories for her, but a hand on her shoulder lets her push past them.

"HALT! No one may enter Khrysalis without—" a familiar voice rings out.

Dyvim's demeanor shifts as he looks at her, and a bright smile climbs onto his face.

"Oh, Spellbinder, it's you! And friends I assume? Who might they be?"

"Captin Helvius Zilant, they/them and my second mate Sarah Steele, she/her, and who might you be?"

"Dyvim Whitehart, he/him, now. Is this a social visit, or has a new calamity returned you to our world?"

She sighs. "I'm afraid so. A member of The Cabal named Scarlet Shrimpernel is here to assassinate your king and start a new Shadow empire."

"No, that's impossible! I've personally verified each and every person that has come through this World Door. Unless..."

His face scrunches up in thought.

"...There was a conspicuously large delivery of seafood that came through recently. Perhaps those crates were packed with more than just imported fish. I made note of the delivery's final destination. Follow me!"

He takes off, and their group scurries after him. While Tatiana is desensitized to the surroundings, she sees Helvius and Sarah look out with interest. Soon, they stop at a tower partially embedded into a cliffside.

"Do you smell that?" he sniffed the air. "It's the stench of evil... and shellfish. Once again, old and new friends, let us go save Khrysalis together."

He barges in, the crew just a little behind. Once inside, a cluster of spiders snaps their beady eyes onto them.

"Ooh, it seems someone has ordered lunch for us! Rebuilding a Shadow Empire on the ashes of this new Khrysalis is hungry work. Let's eat!" one of them says.

Instead of responding, Helvius pulls a pair of poignard keris from their sheaths, each blade coated in dancing purple electricity, and promptly disappears with Sarah.

What could only be described as chaos happened. No Spell Circle was summoned, but Tatiana's cards and pips were. She and the spiders were confused by this, but it allowed Helvius, Sarah, and Dyvim to quickly attack. She quickly got her bearings and started casting her blades. At one point, one of the spiders caught her so off guard she swung her staff like a baseball bat at their head, but she was able to cast a Frost Giant that defeated them all.

"I'd forgotten the thrill of fighting at your side, Spellbinder. Let us press on!"

They hurry up the stairs where a Prawn is waiting.

"Oh, not these guys again," Helvius mumbles

"Well, well. Look what the rat dragged in: the Divine Paradox and a Pirate? Never mind—Before you, the Cabal had purpose, unity, a dream: to restore the First World. But now we're fragmented, disjointed, scraping for lost power, and forced to kowtow to one whose ambitions would destroy all that we are."

The prawn must see the confused look on her face.

"Oh, you haven't heard? A new leader has emerged in Spider's wake, an Old One, ever watching, ever waiting. He has such plans for you. He will—"

"Ugh, enough talk, you malodorous monster. To battle! Kiai!"

This battle took less than the first one, accounting that it was just the prawn and no one else. She didn't even need to cast any spells. It was so quick.

"I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling Divine Paradox and those Pirates. How did you even know where to find me?"

"Von Trap, I'm pretty sure."

"Maulwurf! You mean the Cabal's mole in the Arcanum? Figures he'd side with the Old One."

"You do know he's an actual mole, right?" Helvius says, raising an eyebrow

"What? I know he's literally a mole. He's also a spy! We're everywhere! You'll never win! Or... you won't win any additional times. The law of averages is on our side. You have to lose eventually."

They all just blankly look at them before Dyvim speaks up.

"My word, he's a talkative one. He's the Palace Guard's problem now. Come, friends. Let's step outside. This place reeks."

They all mumble their agreement, follow him outside, and stop at the entrance.

"As wonderful as it was to fight alongside you again, Spellbinder, maybe next time we could just share some cheese and a laugh, eh?"

He chuckles a bit, then turns serious.

"Until then, you must alert your Arcanum compatriots to what the Shrimpman said about the spy, Maulwurf. May the Light guide you, my friend!"

They all nod, and Tatiana leads Helvius and Sarah back towards the Spiral Door. Helvius waves excitedly to Dyvim as they leave.

Back in the Arcanum, she heads back to Ione's office, her two companions staying outside by the door as she enters.

"Wizard, you return. Finally. I am... pleased. What news of the mole situation?"

"Scholar von Trap is spying on the Arcanum and the Cabal."

"A double double agent. I find this... confusing. When you left for Khrysalis, Maulwurf went to his Musicology Studio to prepare a, quote, 'surprise' for you. No doubt a trap. But you must spring it. Apprehend Maulwurf and bring him to me. Then he will learn that I too can be... persuasive."

She sighs through her nose and nods. She catches up her companions as they walk towards the Musicology Studio.

"D'you need our help"

"Depends on the trap"

The Studio is large and open, with a side room where she could see Maulwurf.

"Wizard, you are back! Has the Scarlet Shrimpernel been... dealt with?"

She gives a thumbs-up.

"Wunderbar! He was just going to get in our way. Now, for your reward..."

Her attention is drawn to the center of the room, where what could only be described as a living chest is.

"You must face the Doombox. AND YOU MUST FACE IT NOW! Play!"

She sighs and turns towards Helvius and Sarah.

"You don't—I can deal with this."

And she could. It was nothing a simple bladed Winter Moon and Ice Wyvern couldn't deal with. Sarah whistles, and Helvius politely class when the fight is over.

"Do you feel the music, Wizard? Coursing through you like electricity? If not, we shall have to do this all again. No, are you good? Good. This rhythm will syncopate with your inherent Magic to create a new Spell! A small token of gratitude for dealing with the stinky Shrimpernel."

A spell card manifests in front of her. She inspects it and puts it in her Spellbook.

"Are'nt you a Cabal spy?" Helvius questions.

"What? Me... a Cabal spy? Herr Shrimpy spilled the jellybeans, didn't he? Well then, OK. I confess. I am indeed a Mole. Also  the  mole. I multi-task. Whew! Feels good to say out loud. But please know I have only the best of intentions. Come, come. Let us march to my office and discuss further."

He quickly leaves, and Helvius wraps an arm around her shoulders while Sarah squints in his direction.

"Are you sure we can still trust him?" Sarah questions

"I don't know, let's just go," Tatiana responds dryly.

But when they get to his office, they are not alone. Ione is already there, her back to them.

"Bite your tongue, traitor."

"You see, this is our problem. Always with the fighty words. Is it not time we move the discussion forward? Come, let us speak of something new."

Ione seems to finally take in their presence, and her eyes widen slightly when she sees Tatiana's company.

"Well, I say something new... first we must discuss something far older than our silly little schism... the Great Old One himself."

"The Great Old One is just a myth. There is no 'secret author of history, always watching, always nudging.' That is pure Cabal propaganda."

"Oh, you are quite wrong. The Old One is just reclusive. At least, he was until Grandfather Spider went kaput. Now, he speaks out for change. The Great Old One has established the Grand Summit; a conference to unite all the Cabal factions under one common goal: peace with the Arcanum."

Ione's face scrunches up with suspicion.

"Ione makes the scrunchy suspicious face, but the Summit will be hosted in the sweetest world in all the Spiral: Karamelle! My beloved home."

"Karamelle is famous for its peaceful neutrality. Just thinking of it makes me want to... smile. As Arcanum Liaison, you shall represent us, Wizard. But I am afraid that your... guests may not come with you."

Helvius grimaces. "Sorry, but we're actually handcuffed?"

Tatiana turns to clarify, but the sound of chains clinking distracts her. She raises her right arm to find that she is indeed handcuffed to Helvius, who smirks in satisfaction.

"And the locks are skeleton key ones—don't exactly know which ones—so unless you have a bunch lying around you wanna waste, I guess we have to go together."

Ione looks at them with pure disbelief, and Sarah is grasping her mouth, trying her hardest not to laugh. But Helvius looks at her with pure satisfaction as they know No one would ever go through that amount of effort.

"...Very well then. You can bring your guest with you."

"Wunderbar! Meet me in Karamelle City, and I will escort you to my home. Because the Summit is at my house. Not because it's a trap. Tschuss!"

Maulwurf cheerfully walks out, and they follow him out. Helvius slowly waves goodbye at Ione with a large, sharp grin.

Maulwurf isn't there when they leave, but a key to Karamelle is left by the door. Tatiana grabs it and turns to Helvius.

"Where did you even get handcuffs?"

"Oh, I always have a pair in my jacket if needed. I pickpocketed them off you, the keys'n your left breast pocket."

Tatiana blinks and then bushes slightly when she realizes that through this whole quest, she still has Helvius's jacket on. She hands the key over and rubs her wrist once free.

"Wait, I thought you said they were skeleton key locks?"

They laugh. "Oh, I lied about that. Now, let's go to your depressing apartment so we can get the rest of the crew. We have an adventure on our hands!"

Chapter Text

Tatiana's first impression of Karamelle was that it was... artificial. The air was filled with the smell of something sweet, but it had a chemical aftertaste like a perfume has while it's still in the bottle. It was also clean but unnatural, like someone had put in a bizarre amount of effort that no one would generally waste.

"Welcome, or as we say it, Willkommen, to Karamelle City, Wizard! The crown jewel of the Candied Isles, the bustling capital of Karamelle... and... um... aw shucks, I forget the rest of the spiel. No matter. The Burgomaster has prepared an entire welcoming pageant for you. Come, come!"

He waves them forward, and Helvius squints. "How long have they known we were gonna be here?" they say, barely above a whisper.

They walk forward, where Tatiana can see Maulwurf quietly conversing with two hampsters. They quiet down when they notice that their group has gotten closer.

"Willkommen to the home of Nana's Olde Fashioned Karamelle-Delights The Spiral's foremost purveyor of sweets, savories, and smiles. The magic begins with Nana's patented automated Gummy units, which safely gather chocolate, marshmallow, and gumdrops to send to our factories. There, the happy Gnomes craft the raw ore into tasty treats, which Fairies sprinkle with love and pinch of Fairy Dust. The results are," she laughs, "delightful…"

She blinks as loudspeakers crinkle to life, but Tatiana isn't paying attention; instead, she looks toward Helvius and their crew. None of them look impressed. Most of them have a blank look, while others look disgruntled.

The music suddenly screeches to a halt, and Tatiana looks back at their hosts, who both look confused.

"Umm... Did someone update the Welcome program without telling me, or did something just go terribly wrong?"

Maulwurf nods. "Oh yah, you could see the murdery grrr on their little gummy faces from here. Wizard, maybe you, your friends, and I go help those poor Singers, no? Come, come!"

He rushes over to the entrance to the bell tower with more energy than any of the crew holds. She rolls her eyes and follows him; Helvius grabs her shoulder when she is about to get farther than arm's length away and pulls her back slightly.

Inside, there is a sleuth of angry gummy bears (a sentence that Tatiana never thought she would say)

"There, Wizard! There are the Gummies that have gone cuckoo in this clock! What are you waiting for?"

"Is this a trap?"

"What? No, this is not a trap! Trust me," his voice turns more sinister, "you would never see a Maulwurf trap until it is too late. Just fight the scary, evil Gummy Bears already."

At the mention of them, the bears growl with rage.

"See, it grrr worrl'ed at you. Go on, fight, fight. Go, go!"

Helvius pulls her back by her collar, and they jump in. With how many crewmates there are, there's no point in casting any major spells, so she just wacks the bears with her staff and casts a few wand hits. Soon, there's nothing but chunks of whatever those bears were made of.

"See, not a trap. Just cuckoo candy inside a clock. Now let us continue on to see what other contentious confections await us."

They head up the stairs, where more of the gummy bears are

"More angry Gummy Bears? Very strange. They are not supposed to have any emotions, on account of them being lifeless automatons. Like Ione."

Tatiana turns to Maulwurf and glances towards Helvius, who glances back at her. They then look back at Maulwurf.

"I make the jest... and you do not laugh. Oh, do not be so frowny, Wizard. They are just Gummy Bears. How much damage could they do to you?"

She sighs heavily and jumps back into action. It's no more challenging than the ones before, but Tatiana's only worry is that the substance will stain her clothes.

"I am remembering now that there was a new model of Gummy Bear they were rolling out around the time I left for the Arcanum. What was it called..."

He strokes his chin in thought.

"Oh, yah! The Uber-Bear. Built to haul up to six thousand chocograms. I'd hate to tussle with one of those, yah? Anyway, one more floor to go!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Gracie mouth the word chocograms in confusion.

"Oh yeah, that sure is such a random thing to mention. We definitely won't encounter anything like it." Helvius says through gritted teeth.

They walk up the final stairs, and a deep, menacing growl verberates through the room. At the top is a gummy bear twice the size of the others.

"Ack, an Uber-Bear! Who could have seen that coming?"

Helvius places their heads in their hands and sighs deeply.

One of the performers notices them, "Oh, help! Help! The Gummies, they are no longer sweet. Now they make the mean snarls and swat at us with their paws! They've gone sour!"

"Sour Gummies? That is ridiculous. Nana only makes the sweet things. These Singers are delusional with panic, Wizard. Help them. Help them!"

Tatiana glares slightly at Maulwurf, but he doesn't notice.

The smaller gummy bears are, again, easy to deal with. The uber-bear is a bigger problem, but it's noting multiple people attacking at once can't fix it.

The singers scramble to leave once the problem is gone, but some pipes up before walking down.

"Oh, thank you, heroic customer! I will be sure to tell my manager of your great deeds!"

Maulwurf looks at where the gummy bears used to be

"How strange. The Gummies are meticulously designed worker drones. Invented to do the grunty labor work, and maybe the occasional song and dance. They quite literally do not have a mean bone in their bodies. Yet, these formerly sweet Gummy Bears have clearly gone... sour. But how?"

His eyes crinkle in thought before shrugging.

"Eh, I am sure someone will figure it out. Let us tell the Burgomaster what we saw here, then we must scoot to the Grand Summit. Schnell!"

He all but sprints out, Tatiana and the crew following at a much slower pace. She notes that the other hampers have disappeared and wonders where they could have gone. Maulwurf has already told the Burgomaster what happened because they don't even ask any questions when they arrive.

"Sour Gummy Bears? Who has ever heard of such a thing? Not me. We are after all known for our sweets, not our sours."

They shake their head.

But worry not, Nana has already gone on to investigate just how this has happened. She will ensure no Valued Customer goes without the welcoming pageant again. Now, I must ask... how would you rate the Karamelle experience so far?"

Before Tatiana can answer, Helvius places a hand over her mouth and grins, but not in the kind that she had grown used to. No, this smile was like how a predator smiles when showing dominance.

"5-Stars," they say

"Wunderbar! Go forth, gentle consumer, explore Karamelle City, visit Nana's Olde Fashioned Shoppes. Partake of Karamelle's Delights."

"When you are done looking around, Wizard, meet me by the von Trap Family Gondola to go to the Summit."

They both walk off, and the entire crew looks at them, calculating their moves. When they deem them far away, Ratbeard speaks up.

"Aye, Cap'n this place is as bad as th' rumors say!"

"What?" Tatiana questions

"Ye don't know?"

"Of course, she doesn't know," Helvius pipes up, motioning to Tatiana, "she's a Wizard!"

"What?"

"Ah—ok, two things," they say. "One, Karamelle is not a good place; Karamelle is known as one of the worst places to live because it forces almost its entire population to work and gives them the most fucked up working conditions. Nearly everyone in The Spiral has a vague idea of what happening in Karamelle. The reason no one has tried to fix it falls under three categories: one, people who have no power to fix it and are forced to deal with it; two, people who do have the ability to fix it and who get absolutely destroyed by Karamelle's legal team which are the best in The Spiral and three people who do have the ability to fix it but don't do anything because they think that what Karamelle dose should be done in factories—"

"Wait," she interrupts, "Really?"

"Aye, they be rich an' don't care fer anyone lesser than them unless they can use them"

"Yes, thanks Ratbeard. Continuing on—the latter are the people Karamelle advertises. That and Wizards, which leads to my second post, leads to my second point.

"Two, Wizards have this huge stereotype of being crazy ignorant because Wizard school starts really young, and students get thrown into an eco chamber that makes them believe that magic can solve a problem, with very much so, is not true, and when the Wizards inevitably come across a problem that magic cannot solve they have a mental breakdown that eventually makes them denounce the truth, and they find solace in a comforting lie so Wizards tent to believe whatever you tell them at face value without thinking so with all the propaganda that Karamelle tells about itself Wizard kinda tend to believe it."

Tatiana stares at them blankly.

"Alright—just stew on it, take it all in."

"That—" Tatiana starts but deflates. "Yeah, that makes sense."

"You don't really fall into that stereotype that often, but sometimes you need to be snapped out," They put an arm around her shoulder. "That just means we gotta develop your critical thinking skills a bit more!"

She sighs but puts her head on Helvius's shoulder.

Chapter Text

Since Tatiana and the crew had no intention of browsing the shops, they decided to meet up with Maulwurf by the cable cars, much to everyone's reluctance.

"Are you ready to go to my Estate? Well, yah, my family's Estate. The von Traps are the big deals in Karamelle, after all. Ever since we first discovered the dark chocolate veins in the Mines of Nibbleheim we have been rich and beloved by all... I presume."

They all give him blank looks, and he sighs.

"Yah, I want to take you to the von Trap Estate to meet the Cabal. No, it is not a trap. Now, after you…"

He jesters to the cars, which can only fit up to four people. Helvius quickly snaps their fingers and pushes Tatiana into a car, followed by Sarah and Subodai.

"Ah, sorry, it looks like there's no more room. Looks like you have to catch the next one," they say as they look back at the rest of the crew. "I hope you can figure out setting arrangements."

A course of 'Aye, captain' fills the air as the doors close. Helvius glances at her and places their legs on her lap. Sarah and Subodai smirk and share a glance, although for what Tatiana couldn't say.

Soon, they arrive at the summit of the mountain, and when they step off, a wave of cold hits them. The ground and the peaks are covered in a thick layer of snow. As more gently falls from the sky behind her, the group shivers at the unexpected temperature change. Tatiana shrugs off Helvius's jacket and hands it to them.

"You probably need it more than me."

They reluctantly take it and shrug it onto their shoulders. The group stands by the railings to wait for the rest of the crew to pass the time. Tatiana attempts to catch some of the snowflakes on her tongue and succeeds after struggling, but she cringes once it lands. How did they manage to make the snow taste sweet? What were they doing here? 

She looks over at Helvius to share her displeasure. When she turned, Helvius quickly turned their head to face the cable cars, a blush creeping on their faces. What was that about?

Soon, the entire group arrives, and Maulwurf leads them down the mountain, where she can see a building. As they get closer, she spots a guard standing by the door.

"Achtung!" Maulwurf screams.

The guard flinches heavily and almost drops the sword they're holding. They turn sharply toward them.

"Wah! Gesundheit." they say confused

"Oof. That means, pay attention Guard who is daydreaming instead of guarding the super important Summit of Cabal dignitaries."

The guard stutters, "Oh, um, I was... uh... Sorry, Mr. Lord von Trap. It's just so peaceful and serene up here. Everyone has been patiently awaiting your arrival."

Maulwurf tisks "Guards these days, am I right? I better go make sure nothing else has been as poorly managed as the guard situation. The Summit begins shortly! In the meantime, maybe you go do the mingle thing with the other Cabalists in the Lodge. Exchange pleasantries. Or don't. Up to you."

He waves in the motion of the door and scurries off. The guard coughs to get their attention.

"Uh, I don't think all of you can come inside? I'm pretty sure only The Wizard can enter."

Helvius smiles and places their hands on Tatiana's shoulders. "I'm sorry, but as her employer, I'm legally required to go with her to any private meetings." 

"Wha—"

"Dolemus, nunc abimus. Vale, mox te videre!"

They quickly push them through the door, and they wave at the guard in a way that could only be described as sarcastic. Once inside, Tatiana takes one look at the Old One and cringes mentally.

Tatiana had always felt off about the Cabal, something which did not stem from their actions. Something about it rubbed her the wrong way, and it took her forever to figure out what it was because, up until then, she had not thought about Earth in years. She realized after a long reflective process that the Cabal was an antisemitic conspiracy theory back on Earth. From what they were doing to their own name, the Cabal was filled with antisemitism.

And how was Tatiana meant to deal with it? The Cabal would never even think to listen to what she had to say, and even if they did, how would she even start to explain that it was wrong when, as far as she knew, she was the only person in The Spiral who knew what Judaism was?

There was a brief hope that she could bring up these problems in this meeting where she could explain the issues and they could fix it.

But no

Because the Old One was an  octopus

They were a Cathullu inspierd ocotupus

Oh my God

She didn't even have the time for these feelings to show on her face as the Old One took sight of her.

"At last we're joined by the Wizard. The Divine Paradox. The Scion of Bartleby. The constant pain in my neck. Welcome to the end…"

Helvius's grip tightens on her shoulders.

"...Of this foolish old conflict with the Arcanum, that is. An armistice not easily won. For, what schemer is wont to abandon their machinations?"

"Do they have to pause like that?" Helvius whispers.

"I guess," she responds.

"And yet, when I approached you, Mr. Quake Charmer, you put aside your plan to, as you so eruditely phrased it: 'earthquake Cool Ranch to dust.'"

"With how long it took us to go through that, he should've," Helvius whispers.

"And you, my dear Copy Qhat, you thought to clone yourself to infiltrate and divide every Great House in Mirage, but refocused instead on unity."

"A strange goal," she whispers.

"Then there's Judge Veg, who aimed to destroy this world of Karamelle because of its sugary appetites. But I have persuaded him toward leniency."

Helvius turns and shares a sympathetic face.

"You all saw the truth that the Cabal has lost its way. Once a coalition to rebuild the First World, we've become factious, diabolical... defeated—We should nay—must change to survive. It's time we grow up. It's time to rejoin the Arcanum to preserve what is, not restore what was."

The Old One jesters towards her, "Wizard, will you help me usher in a new paradigm, a new alliance, a new age? Will you take the stage and my tentacular hand in peace?"

She sighed slightly and walked forward. Helvius tries to keep their grip on her shoulders but senses that this must be something she does alone. They let their hands go but do not step back.

As she reaches for the Old One's hand, they begin speaking, "Let this moment mark a new era of... what's going on—"

The world shakes, and the Old One falls, a scream ripping out of their throat. Helvius sprints forward, grabs Tatiana from underneath her arms, and yanks her back. After the last echo of the cry dissipates, the room falls silent.

But for Tatiana, that is not the case. The room is impossibly Bright and impossibly Dark, and Something looks at her, and Something grasps her, and Something tries to speak to her, and she's so close to hearing—

"What... what... just happened?"

That breaks her out of the spell. With a gasp, she buries her face in Helvius's chest, who lets her stay there for a moment, then lifts her face and wipes something from the corner of her mouth. All she could see was grey before Helvius wiped it on the rest of their hand and shook it off.

"Gah! The Great Old One done got ate up like barbecue! But who would do that? Reckon I'm peckin' in your direction, Judge."

"You accuse me? He fell into a giant hole. A cowardly attack, the unmistakable MO of chickens with earthquake powers."

"Everyone, everyone, relax. It's clear this was a trap, set by one who hates the Cabal and fights us at every turn: the Wizard!"

Helvius looks at them with disbelief. "Are you insane? She didn't even know this was happening less than twenty-four hours ago! How would she have time to set that up!"

But no one seems to have heard them.

"Makes sense to me. Destroy the Wizard! Becaw!"

A door by the stage opens, and Maulwurf comes barging in. He takes in the scene.

"Oh, sweet staccato, they are not listening to the reason! We must make the escape that is hasty. This way! Quick, quick!"

Helvius picks her up bridal style and sprints out the door. Maulwurf slams it behind them, and Hawkules places himself in front of the door, preventing the others from leaving. The rest of the crew is there, their faces filled with worry.

"Don't worry, I know you did not set that trap for the Old One. I mean, you didn't, right?" 

She can feel her head shaking 'no,' but she doesn't understand what she did.

"Of course not. But who did? And why?" he shakes his head. "I suppose we will have to worry about it later. We must beat the fleet retreat before the other Cabalists catch us."

He motions for them to follow. They run as fast as they can in the show until they are out of view from the building.

"There is a mining camp halfway down the mountain; we can regroup there. But I am the sneaker, not the fighter… So I need your help to get through the temperamental Candied Rams that live in these peaks. Battle them while I tiptoe past, yah?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, can you just?" Helvius dumps her in Maulwurf's arms, who clumsily tries to support her. "She is into way of fighting."

Maulwurf looks at her worriedly, but she isn't paying him any attention. Maybe, if she strains her ears, she can hear whatever that thing was trying to say.

Not a moment longer, a warm hand rested on her shoulder. She turns and faces Helvius.

"You alright, Tatiana?"

She blinks rapidly and slowly crawls out of Maulwurf's arms. "Ye—Yeah, I'm fine."

As she is gently set on the floor, Helvius wraps an arm around her shoulders, grounding her in the moment, she hadn't even realized that she had slipped away.

Not far away, two miners are talking. One of them grones, "How many more loads are there to sort? My eyes, they are getting bleary."

The other notices them and shushes the first one. "Shh... people. Welcome, Valued Customer and wealthy patron, to Nana's Olde Fashioned Nougat Mine. Allow us to sing the cheery work song—"

"As much as I enjoy the music—with or without the ology—our time, she is short. But we could use the passage back to Karamelle City." 

The second miner cringes. "Oh, we would help, but the Gummy Worms who do our mining, they went a little bonkers, yah, and destroyed the transports. But is good! Is great! It gives us more time to sort through all the nougat ore. So... so much time." they laugh defeatedly.

"More Gummies going sour? I will not stand the chance against them. Once again, you must distract the Gummy Worms, so I can get to Karamelle City."

"Oh, so ye can go back," Ratbeard mumbles.

The crew goes to face the Gummy Worms, but before Tatiana can join the fight, Helvius pulls her back and waves their finger exaggeratingly.

"Ah-ah, you just went through something extremely fucked up. You do not need to be fighting. You just need to sit down and do nothing. The crew will take it from here."

She sighs and leans her head on their shoulder. It's nice and warm; maybe whatever was trying to speak to her is gone now. A shout from the crew alerts them to the clearance of the Gummy Worms, and they rush through the tunnel before more appear.

Once back in Karamelle City, Maulwurf is waiting for them.

"Sour, murderous Gummy things, giant Cavities opening up for no reason, this is not my Karamelle. We are sweet. We are happy!" he begins to rant when he sees them. "Our hills are alive with the sound of Musicology, Wizard! Or they were... until Sour Gummies stopped the cheery work songs! 

He strokes his mustache.

"Something is happening here. Someone is playing the long, elaborate game. Perhaps the same person who removed the Old One caused the Sour Gummies. If so, then they have designs on the Cabal and Karamelle alike. Quake Charmer, Judge Veg and Copy Qhat are equally likely culprits. I will follow leads into my compatriots. You look into the Gummies. Start with the Burgomaster... I smell the fear on him. He knows something."

They all nod and begin to look for the Burgomaster. He's a bit farther into the City than before, but they find him.

"Oh, hallo, Valued Customer, how would you rate your experience in Karamelle so far?"

"About a three."

"I'd say a two."

"Zero." Tatiana croaks out

"That is an absurdly low number of stars! What was it? Our service? Product quality? Getting attacked by Sour Gummies? We replaced those!"

"There's more on the Mountains"

"But... but... Nana guarantees her Olde Fashioned Gummies are 100% pure artisanal sweetness. Well, if this is true, you must inform Nana at once! Quickly, to Nana's Olde Fashioned Karamelle Corporate Headquarters with you!"

"Why are these names so long?" Bonnie Ann questions

They all file into the building where the older hampster from before is in the lobby.

"Well, hallo there, sweetie. What can Nana do for you? Would you like to hear the history of Karamelle Delights, or our VIP Pet Snack Club, or perhaps…"

"Do you not remember us?" she questions

"Of course, Nana remembers you. She remembers all her Valued Customers. You are ever so sweet and... valuable. Now what can I do for you?"

"They're more of those Sour Gummies on the Mountains."

"Oh my, Sour Gummies! Well, that is what happens when you go with one of those other brands. They do not have that extra touch of sweet…"

"Other brands?! What'd ya mean other brands? They're yours!" Bonnie Ann exclaims.

"Nana brand, you say? Oh... oh my... You... should talk to my President in charge of handling such things."

A small group splits off for the secretaries desk.

"Excuse me, Valued Customer, do you have an appointment? I realize your concerns are important. They are important to us. Please hold…"

They sit silently; neither the secretary nor their group does anything.

"Thank you for holding. I will inform the President you are here. Please wait in the lobby for her to buzz you in. And have a Delightful day."

She sighs, and their group returns to the rest of the crew.

"Oh, no, sweetie, you could not get in?" they hum. "That news of yours did sound important, so let Nana tell you a little secret."

She jesters to a door on the far side of the room. "There is another door over there customers are not normally allowed through. But you can get in with a Special Nana Key. Unfortunately, dearie, Nana lost hers somewhere in the City and our wunderbar metropolis is just so big, she cannot hope to find it. But if you have a Pet, maybe it can sniff out Nana's Key. If not, there is a Pet Store in town where you can get a pet to help you."

"Oh, don't worry, I got this," Helvius says, pulling a giant black and white tarantula from their coat pocket.

"—How many things do you have in your pockets?" Tatiana asks

"You don't need to know that," they say, turning to the spider and placing it on the ground. "Clavis invenire."

The tarantula scurries off one of the crew members in the back, opening the door for them. Soon, the tarantula crawls back, key in hand. When they turn, the old hampster is gone.

"Huh, she moves fast," Helvius says

They all go and unlock the door, and inside, there are a bunch of the old hampsters, each in a different outfit but all looking the same. Each is saying something, and it's a bit hard to understand, but a hampster at the end of the room can be heard clearly.

"Let me see if I can explain this, sweeties. You are not playing Nana the person. Forget about Nana the person. Nana is not a person. She is an ideal. You are playing what Nana represents: a company devoted to homespun country candy cooking, to smiling children. We are joy in truffle form. You are company ambassadors. Hearts need to sing with the delight when they see you, yah?"

They look up and notice their group.

"And see, there is a Valued Customer whose heart is not singing. You must keep practicing!" they turn and address their group. "Sorry, sweetie, how can I help you?"

"Who are they?" she asks.

"These are just trainee Nanas. Never mind them. If you have urgent business for the President, then follow me."

They wave them over to follow them. They lead their group to a spacious office where a painting of the old hampster can be seen. The portrait doesn't look kind.

"President Dagmar von Sweetsmeyer at your service. But you may call me Nana, the Grandest Nana you will ever find. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"There's more Sour Gummies."

"Sour Gummies!" they sigh. "Yes, I am afraid dear old Nana knows about them. But, worry not, her sweet sciencers have already found the cause…"

Their face darkens.

"Witches. They started popping up after we launched our Happiness Initiative several years ago. The goal was to spread delight to the Spiral. Specifically, Karamelle Delights. But it seems the Witches just hate joy, so they speak the cursed words that bring the unhappiness to Karamelle. Even now Sweetzburg—and its Gummy Plant is in their sway. It must be the source of the Sour Gummies. If only we had some Champion to rout them!"

"Well, I'm the Scion of Ba—" she tries to say before Helvius's hand slams on her mouth, a slightly panicked look on their face.

"You are the Scion of Bartleby? Wunderbar! Then you can go to Sweetzburg in the Gumdrop Forest, dispel the Witches' curse and stop those Sour Gummies."

Helvius grimaces. "Yeah, yeah, well, go and do that. Sure no problem."

Once out of the office, Helvius bangs their fist on the nearest wall and slowly slides onto the floor.

"Quare! Cur nobis! Cur hoc facere debemus in loco isto deo relicto!"

Tatiana merely pats their back in sympathy.

Chapter Text

Arriving at the Gumdrop Forest, Tatiana and the crew were hit with an overwhelming wave of sweetness. It was so overpowering that she automatically coughed. Next to her, Helvius was rapidly blinking as their eyes began to water.

"I can't tell if my eyes are watering from the smell or sugar particles in the air, ugh."

Further up on the path, a fairy notices them and waves their group over. They reluctantly move closer, and Tatiana can now see the 'tour guide' label on their hat.

"Welcome, Valued Customer, to the Gumdrop Forest, home of Karamelle's lovely Gumdrop trees, the not-so-secret ingredient in Nana's Gummy lines. Native to our already sugary soil, the trees are also treated with Fairy Dust, ensuring the Gummies made from their fruits stay sweet and helpful."

Somewhere in the distance, someone shouts, "I will eat you!"

Huh? What? She blinks in confusion and groans when something gets in her eye. Maybe the sugar in the air idea wasn't so off. The tour guide must think the shouting came from their group because they don't react outwardly.

"Oh, the Gummies aren't for eating. They're automated laborers, used all over Karamelle. And soon they'll be coming to a world near you."

"Hey, hey, don't you go there... don't eat that... don't go into that Cave... don't... I need help here!"

The tour guide must finally realize that the shouting isn't coming from them as they look over to where the shouting presumably is

"Oh... oh, dear."

When they don't move, Tatiana signs and automatically walks over to where she presumes the shouting is behind a maze of hedges. She spots one of the workers standing by a cave wearing a mask that covers their eyes. They take note of her almost immediately.

"Hiyo, Customer! Sorry, Valued Customer. I should not ask you to help me."

"I'm the Scion of Bartleby. I can help."

"Scion of Bartleby, you say? I know not what that means. But I do need a hand, as per my earlier shouting. You see, there are Gobblers on the loose!"

Gobblers? She tilts her head. It's been a while since she thought about them in detail. The Alphoi in Empyrea had mentioned them, but what they said felt off.

"Normally, they do not leave the island of Gobblerton, because, you know, one cannot swim just after eating... and... they are Gobblers. But every now and then, one eats a light lunch, comes over here and devours Karamelle as a buffet dinner. They are the walking natural disasters!"

They gesture wildly to the cave to their right.

"And there are a great many in this cave. We need something to settle them down long enough to get them home. The ticket for that: Marshmallow Stuff. This is a substance regularly dropped by the local Marshfellows. Fight them for me and get that sweet Stuff! Schnell and away!"

They pointed across the path to where she could assume the marshfellows were. She nods and can hear Helvius sigh heavily behind her.

The marshfellows were surprisingly tiny with a slightly toasted top. It was tough to get the marshmallow stuff, though, as they were relatively quick.

They arrive back at the worker, who grins at them.

"Wunderbar, Valued Customer! The next step should be easy. All we need to do is go into the Cave and tempt the Gobblers with the chewy Stuff…Before their hunger blinds them to the difference between people and bags of meat."

"What"

The worker ignores them and hums, "This sounds like a job for the Skion of Bittertree!"

"Scion of Bartleby"

"Yah, that is exactly what I said. Now, hiyo, Scion, and away!"

Tatiana sighs but does as she's told. Just inside the cave, she can see three Gobblers. their heads snapping toward them as they enter.

"Mmmm, I smell marshmallows and meat. So hungry. I just want to gobble it all up!"

She gets in a stance, ready to fight, but before anyone can do anything, someone in the crew chunks the marshmallow stuff at the Gobblers.

"I am not dealing with this today," Bonnie Anne says

The Gobblers desperately grab the marshmallow stuff.

"Ooh, Marshmallow Stuff. That's my favorite food-adjacent substance. Uh-huh, uh-huh, no go, just eat, got it. Gimme!"

They continue further into the cave, repeating the process for the following two groups of Gobblers. After the job is done, they leave the worker patiently waiting outside.

"I no longer hear the angry growling of the stomachs. Have the Gobblers calmed down?"

Helvius sighs. "Yep."

"HIYO! That Marshmallow Stuff takes forever to chew, even for Gobblers. Should give me enough time to take them to Gobblerton." they wince. "I would bring you with me, but Gobblerton is not zoned for Valued Customers. Might I ask where are you going?"

"Uh, Sweetzburg, I think?"

"Ah, Sweetzburg. It is just through the forest, down the path. Good luck to you. Have an Olde Fashioned Delightful Day."

She nods in tanks, and they begin walking. Helvius gives her an exasperated look.

"You have a helping people thing."

"Yeah, I know."

Once at Sweetzburg, a large commotion draws their attention. A crowd of workers are chanting just outside what Tatiana assumes is the factory.

"What the—"

One of the workers notices them and sneers.

"Were you sent by Nana? We spit at Nana. Pitooey! Why would we be happy to make treats and sing and dance all day? Especially when the Gummy Bears and Worms and Things we were making went coo-coo! So we run outside and refuse to work."

They gestured to the gates of the factory.

"Except for the ones who did not. Trapped in the Plant, yah! Pinned in by the Sour Gummies. Someone needs to help them!"

Helvius gives her a blank look.

"We're gonna be the ones to do that, aren't we?"

"Of course."

Entering the factory, Tatiana is immediately faced with an enormous clew of gummy worms surrounding a group of workers. One of the workers is safe from the worms and immediately notices them.

"Oh, look, a helpful person! Quickly, Valued Customer, my wunderbar Gummical Wonderneers are trapped by the Gummies!"

"Help! We are trapped by the Gummies!"

"You see! I need someone to fight the Gummies so they can escape. Do you know someone who could do that?"

She sighs and faces the worms, the crew behind her. The worms are slippery and fast, almost like a snake more than a worm, and once they are defeated, the gummy substance sticks to the bottom of her shoes.

"Look! My wunderbar Gummical Wonderneers flee to the safety! Get over here quickly!"

The workers flee and run out of the factory. The crew follows close behind. The original worker doesn't leave but instead stands nervously by the entrance.

"Danke Customer, but according to all my various switches and gauges, we have another problem. There is an error in the Fizzle Pebble Generator, where we put the Fizzle Pebbles and the soda water to create the boom and power the plant."

That is probably the weirdest sentence she had ever heard.

"It is usually maintained by the Gummy Bears; but if they have gone sour, they could be disrupting the flow of Pebbles. If the Pebble volume gets too low, soda will flood the system and shut down the Plant. Too high and we all explode."

Well, that isn't good. She can see some of the crew gain slightly panicked faces in the corner of her eye.

"Please, go to the Power Room, stop the Gummies and stabilize the Generator."

She nods, and the crew sprints to the backroom, facing many gummy bears and one of the larger ones. They were no more challenging than the worms, though, even if the larger one took more time. The only bad thing that happened was that her clothes were probably stained.

The intercoms crackle to life "Valued Customer, hallo? Have you reached the Fizzle Pebble Generator? Wunderbar! Just hit the various buttons and switches to stabilize the soda flow."

Tatiana nods, but the worker continues speaking before she can do anything.

"But whatever you do, do NOT hit the levers and knickknacks or the whole Plant will explode. Now, schnell!"

Everyone pauses and looks at the controls with trepidation before Ratbeard screams.

"Just flip all o' them!"

Everyone begins to flip and press everything, and no one knows what they are doing. Luckily, nothing bad happens, and the intercoms come back on.

"My gauges are happy, Pirate! Er... Valued Customer. The Generator is stable! I am going to make with the fleeing before the Gummies get me. Come find me outside the Plant. And have an Olde Fashioned Delightful day."

Tatiana blinks in shock, but that only reveals her emotions. She had never been referred to as anything other than Wizard in a while, and whenever she was, it always took her by surprise, although it could be interpreted as the worker, referring to the others and not her.

Helvius gently grabs her shoulder and leads her out of the factory, where the worker nervously waits for them. A look of relief passes over them when they see their group.

"Many, many dankes again. If only we knew what was making the Gummies turn sour."

"I think they thought it was you?"

"What!? Nana thinks it is us? Why?"

"Witches, I'm pretty sure."

"Ah, Witches. They sneak into towns at night and whisper curses to the people. One of my employees fell victim to them. He came into work with not a whistle on his lips nor a song in his heart. He actually said, get this, Nana's Happiness Initiative makes him sad ." 

They gasp and dramatically clutch their chest.

"That's Witch talk—nobody is sad in Karamelle. And if unhappiness is the Witches' goal, it would make sense they were behind the Sour Gummies. But I do not know where to find them. Ask around town, Valued Customer. Perhaps someone here knows. And have an Olde Fashioned Delightful day."

Asking proved difficult as most of the people they questioned turned defensive almost immediately. Only one of the workers gives any helpful information.

"Hallo, Valued Customer. Witches? In Sweetzburg? Oh my. But that would explain the poor attitude in town. The Witches' cursed words. Everybody is always happy in Sweetzburg. The Company actually gives us bonuses for smiling and whistling while we work."

The crew shares a glance.

"But now those evil Witches come in and spread like miasma, draining the joy out of people, leaving only the, what is the word, sadness . Come to think of it, since the incident in the Gummy Plant, there has been a lot of cackling coming from Nana's Ice Cream Parlor. Check there."

The crew carefully enters the shop, which seems almost deserted except for three fairies in the center, two of whom seem to be arguing.

"No, no, that is not it. You need sugar, spice and anything nice. Just pick a nice thing."

"Sister, the recipe clearly states everything nice. We need to go shopping."

"That is obviously a misprint. How could you literally put all the nice things in all the universe into this pot? It makes no sense."

The one not in the argument notices them.

"Sisters, it seems we have a visitor. A customer." they shiff the air "An agent of the Company come to rout the Witches. Let us show them how wrong they are."

Before anyone can do anything, Helvius brings out their arm, stopping Tatiana and the crew from moving forward.

"Oh no," they drawl, "the witches are too powerful. They're getting away."

The two groups stare at each other.

Helvius sighs. "Look, I don't care what you're doing. I'm giving you an out." They wave their arms around. "Just take your stuff, do a spiel, and leave."

The Witches blink in surprise but do as they're told.

"You can fight a Witch, Wizard, but you cannot stop our words. No, no, no, no. They seep into every mind across Karamelle."

"They will sink into your mind as well, you will see. Nana will fall, once all that is sweet turns sour and all that is happy turns glum."

"And you all will beg the Witches to save you."

They grab their cauldron and fly away. Helvius grins and claps their hands, turning to the crew.

"Right now that that's done, let's get outa here!"

They exit the shop, and Tatiana and Helvius immediately notice a familiar face.

"So giant hole opened in the ground and just, womp, swallowed your boss?"

"Yessir, a great yawning Cavity, it was. Words cannot do it justice. BECAW! And if you don't give me what I want, reckon it'll happen again."

Helvius planes their hands on her shoulders as The Quake Charmer turns around and spots them.

"Wizard! Come to finish what you started at the Estate, have ye? Well, I got only one thing to say to that. BECAW!"

Their face scrunched up in annoyance.

"That weren't it. What I was meaning to say, what I want you to truly understand before I send you to the great coop in the sky is... Look over there!"

They point somewhere in the distance, and the crew turns to look. The Quake Charmer is gone when they look back, and the worker they talked to doesn't seem impressed.

"He ran away. I would say like the decapitated chicken, but he still had his head. So just like the big chicken he is then." 

Helvius and some of the crew barks out a laugh.

"He went to the literary café, Les Bon-Bon Mots. Be careful if you follow him. He recruited some of my Witch-cursed Wonderneers as Enforcers."

She shrugs, noting she hasn't faced before.

Chapter Text

The store they enter is very similar to the ice cream parlor the witches were at, which is probably a brand thing once she begins thinking about it, but instead of any witches, there are two former workers.

"So we are supposed to stop the Wizard from making more Cavities, yah?"

"Yah! But the chicken guy, he is the one who asked us to do it. And is making earthquakes not kind of his thing?"

"Yah, but the earthquakes, they make the ground cracks, not the cavities. That is different and probably worse."

"Ach! Beats working the double shifts in the Gummy Plant, I guess. And, hey, there is the Wizard now! This will be quick."

She sighs and squares her shoulders. One of the crew members shoots past her. It's only the two workers, so it's not much of a fight. It's strange when the spell circle isn't summoned, and Tatiana can move freely around the space.

"You will not stop the ground crack guy from stopping you from making the ground holes... or something."

Helvius rolled their eyes, and they motioned for the crew to follow them into the backroom. Sadly, it's not empty, as two soldiers seem to be waiting.

"That's far enough, Wizard. You may have destroyed the Old One and defeated Medulla and Vanitus and Duncan Grimwater and Lady Darkkettle…"

Tatiana looks at them blankly.

"...And Killer Krok, Le Pingouin, Poison Oak, Baane, Qhatlady, Grandfather Spider and his Shadow Children…"

Helvius looks over at her, amazement clear in their eyes. They whisper something at her, although she can't hear what is said.

"...But now you gotta deal with me."

The fight is as quick as the first one, maybe even quicker for soldiers. They sure seem to have no idea how to fight someone who isn't using magic.

"I expected that to go better. Just wait until I get new gear, improve my skills, learn new spells, get a pet, maybe do some gardening…" They turn to her in what she assumes is a threatening glare, although she can't see anything through their mask. "Then you'll be sorry."

She sighs and walks to the last room, where she assumes the Quake Charmer is in. She quickly changes her deck for the upcoming possible battle.

She is correct in her guess, as Quake Charmer and another soldier are waiting.

"Why'd you do it, Wizard? Why'd you snooker us like that? Is it 'cause all those times the Cabal betrayed you? If'n so, that's petty. You're petty."

She rolled her eyes like they wouldn't be doing the same things.

"The Old One woulda ushered in a Golden Age of not trying to peck each other's eyes out. But you went and rejected him…"

"Oh blah blah blah," Helvius interrupts. "Like you didn't jump at the chance to fight."

Their face darkens. "Fine, partner, have it your way. Let's get back to basics."

Helvius smiles like a predator. "yes, let's."

A small dagger is thrown, and the world is plunged into chaos as blades and sparks of purple electricity fill the room. The solder Quake Charmer was with falls almost instantly like the two before them. The chicken themselve take longer, face clearly showing how they weren't prepared for a non-magical fight. Soon, they fall to Sarah's blade, where she quickly places a boot on their chest and a sword to their throat.

Helvius slowly walks over and neals down to Quake Charmer with a smile. "So what is with those Cavities?"

They blink in surprise. "You're accusing me of opening that Cavity? Don't that beat all. Why? 'Cause I know earth manipulation? 'Cause I was talking about Cavities?"

"That is very incriminating evidence," Sarah says with a glare.

"Shoot, I was using my knowledge of earth manipulation to find out from the locals if Cavities are a normal thing here! They ain't, by and by."

"I believed in the Old One's dream. Never cottoned to no Spider, never thought he'd restore the First World. I wanted a better way." they crow, and they give the crew a tired look. "You don't believe me, do you? Fair enough. Don't know I believe you neither. Ponder this, though: if neither of us opened the Cavity, who did?"

Cautiously, Sarah removes the blade and her foot from the Quake Charmer's chest, who then stands, but Helvius grabs them by the collar of their shirt before they can leave.

"This is a one-time offer," they whispered. "If you cause any more problems for me and my crew. Well, let's just say you'll have to move to Miranda because the only thing I'm gonna leave of you is your cold, empty  spirit ."

They let go, and the Quake Charmer all but sprints out of the shop, the crew looking at them maliciously. Once they leave, Ratbeard sighs.

"Alright, now where to"

Helvius shrugs. "Back to the factory, I guess."

The crew scurries to find any missing weapons they may have lost in the fight. Tatiana stands by the door, watching them. She jumps when a rough hand is placed on her shoulder.

"Are you alright, my friend?"

She blinks and turns to meet El Toro's concerned face. "Um, yeah? I'm fine—what's this for?"

"Why, from all this slander against you, I could not imagine the range of emotions you might be feeling."

"No, it's fine, you—" she smiles slightly, "you get used to it."

He looks at her with an emotion she cannot place. Something that hasn't been expressed to her in years. The sound of Helvius's snapping stops El Toro from saying anything more.

"Alright, did everyone find everything?"

Noises of agreement fill the room, and soon, they're filling out back towards the factory. Tatiana sees El Toro whisper something into Helvius's ear, who then looks concerned.

There's a rather large commotion when they do arrive. One of the Nanas is there and seems to be swamped by workers.

"Seal the Plant! Seal the Plant!"

The worker they helped before notices them and waves them over.

"Valued Customer! How are you doing? All is well here, danke to you. Yah, indeed, all is well. Well it is. Nana has just come to assure us the Gummy Plant is safe now. Is... is that not wunderbar?"

Tatiana couldn't say anything over the commotion, so she shrugged.

"What about all the Sour Gummies? Huh?"

"Shh, shh, I told you they must have run out of juice by now. This is just Witchy hocus-pocus. Do not let them destroy our Happiness Initiative."

"And what about the people you have already sent in? Only one came back out, screaming about a giant hole!"

A... hole?

Before she can become distracted, Helvius grabs her hand and squeezes it.

"The others are at work, singing and smiling and having a time. The unfortunate one you speak of has already been diagnosed as cursed by Witches."

"I do not buy this. Someone needs to go in there and see what ist the das with this big hole. Someone brave, someone noble, someone... else."

"So us?" Helvius says deadpanned.

The workers eagerly nod, and Helvius raises an eyebrow. They wave the crew back into the factory. Everything looks the same, but she doesn't notice 

The hole is back, larger than before, and it  sings  a beautiful haunting melody in something that can only be a mimicry of language, but how does she know it isn't? She needs to get closer. She needs to  understand  it and wants to be  understood .

A light chuckle and an arm around her shoulders thrust her back to reality. She blinks rapidly and takes notice of the mole standing by the hole.

"It is strange though. Like the earth itself just rotted away, dissolved under... what? This Plant has a lot of problems."

Helvius looks down at her in concern and wipes something off the corner of her mouth.

"You must convince Nana not to reopen it. Photomancing the dangers should be the proof she needs. And if you get me some Gummy Samples from the Sour Worms, perhaps I can help you unravel what corrupted them. Call me Greta. I will wait outside."

They quietly leave out a back door.

"Pictures? How are we supposed t' get pictures we don't 'ave a camera!"

"I can—I can do that."

It's been a long time since she had to use Photomancy, but it comes as easily as any magic has. The photo materializes, and Helvius grabs it out of the air and looks at it, other crew members looking over their shoulders.

"You can just casually take instantaneous full-colored photos!" Bonnie Ann yells

"Is that not something the rest of the Spiral can do?"

"What, no," she exclaims, "you haveta buy a specific camera, and that only gives ya black and white."

She studies the photo. "Huh, never thought about that."

She takes another photo of the Gummy Worms, and some of the crew goes to fight them while others study the photos. One, however goes up to Tatiana and Helvius.

"Captin my Captin, this hole be having some strange mojo."

They look at Old Scratch conserningly, "Strange how? Is it bad?"

"No, but it be not good either. The mojo is indecisive."

They hum, and they stare at the hole. Their arm around her shoulders tightens minutely.

Shortly, the crew was done fighting the worms and gathering the samples. They rushed outside, especially Helvius, who was practically dragging Tatiana out, and towards Nana, who was still there.

"Hallo there, sweetie. Oh, don't let this little spat worry you. Everybody here will be back to work on your favorite treats in the no time."

She doesn't say anything. She just hands them the photos.

"Oh my, what is this? Pictures for Nana... how sweet... oh. Oh, dear. Oh yikes. I... I mean... well, this certainly changes things."

They turn towards the crowd of workers.

"Nana takes care of her employees. I will report this situation to my managers and they will ensure this matter is handled appropriately. But, rest assured, you are all still employed. We will reassign you if need be. And for now, everyone here gets a 2% credit at every Nana Brand Store."

The workers cheer and scatter except for the one in charge.

"I must say, even with everything going on, that Nana is the true class act. I am proud to work for someone like that."

They nod and scurry off to where the other workers went. The crew looks at them, and Helvius must notice Greta because they lead the crew over to her.

"They really eat it up, do they not? Almost like her words were smothered in syrup."

She hums.

"I came here to look into the Sour Gummies. That is why I was in the Plant when you found me. I know they are not an isolated problem. The people I represent are getting concerned. We have a theory as to the cause, but we need more data. Thus Gummy Samples from every town."

They gesture toward the factory.

"My brother, Hans, went to check on the Gummies in the Chocolate Mines of Nibbleheim. I am going to meet up with him there. Come with if you want, or don't. It does not matter to me. But if you want to end the madness, then you must go to the Gumdrop Forest."

They start to walk away, and Helvius turns toward her exasperated

"We're helping them instead of going home, aren't we?"

Tatiana nods and speed walks to where she can see Greta.

"Decided to come with me, yah? But one cannot just walk into Nibbleheim these days. There are a few essentials we need to gather first."

They stop off the main path where their group won't easily seen.

"It will go much faster if you help me. First, we need to collect some of the Peppermint Posies that grow around here. Should be easy. The harder task is acquiring the very special Honey you can only get from Honey Badgers."

They gesture toward the other side of the path. The honey badgers don't look as nice as the other things she had seen here, but it's nothing Tatiana hasn't faced before, and from the looks on Helvius and their crew's faces, it is nothing they haven't met either. However, Greta must misinterpret their expressions.

"Yes, those are Honey Badgers. What were you expecting, little cute things? No! They are mean! They are monsters—"

Helvius grabs their mouth and forces it closed. "I don't think you understand. I want you to look at us, really actually look at us. We are not the normal people this place attracts. We probably know how to handle those things better than you could ever."

They let go of their mouth.

"Now shut up."

Suddenly confronted with a power change, Greta only nods. Helvius snaps their fingers, and the crew jumps into action, but they grab the collar of Tatiana's robe before she can join them.

"Nope, you are not doing that. There was a hole. We do not fight after a hole; we're picking flowers now."

They drag her out of Greta's line of sight, and they almost deflate. They throw her around so they face one another and grab her shoulders.

"We're also picking flowers because you're in a slightly dissociative state and need to be grounded, and I'm angry and need to calm down. Fighting would not help either of us."

They both go over to where they can see a large patch of the posies attempting to be as delicate as possible. Helvius was right; picking the flowers to bring her fully back to reality, she could see their shoulders lose their tension.

Suddenly, without warning, Tatiana is filled with a feeling she hasn't felt in a long time. A wave of giddy glee flows over her, and she glances over at Helvius, who must think something has happened as they give her a look.

"Dare you to eat one."

"What?"

"Come on," she motions to the flowers, "eat one."

They look suspiciously between Tatiana and the flowers before shrugging and putting an entire flower into their mouth. They quickly attempt to gag, and they reluctantly swallow and cringe hard.

"That was not good," they whisper.

They quickly gathered the rest of the flowers and met up with Greta and the crew. Once in their line of sight, Bonnie Ann barks out a laugh.

"Captin, what happened to you!"

"Nothing fuck off," they say horsly and motion for Greta to speak.

"We have enough Honey and Posies now to get into Nibbleheim. Though that is still going to be a little tricky. The Company does not like its "Valued Customers" visiting Nibbleheim. Fortunately, I know the secret path into town through some old pipelines. But be careful, there could be anything down there."

They wave them over to a hidden area shrouded in darkness, the only form of light being a dull red bulb. Slowly, in pairs, they start to head downwards. Once everyone made it down, they began to traverse the caves.

"Bah! It looks like some of the creatures from outside found their way down here. We will have to push through."

A small group of marshfellows have somehow made it down here, blocking the way there just as quick as before, so it takes them longer than they would like to get through them.

"Come on, this way."

Greta motions for them to continue, but they haven't made it so far. Blocking the path is one of the strangest things she's ever seen. They look like a cross between a robot and a tank and, of course, made entirely of candy.

"Halt, Valued Customer! This place is off-limits. Please return to Karamelle City and its many wonderful shops."

"Yah... no."

Whatever these things were, they were surprisingly tough compared to their experiences. Tatiana even had to break out some of her harder-hitting spells, which she hadn't used so far in fear that they could hit the crew.

"What the blazes were those?"

"Those were Whatchamagolems, drones made of nougat, caramel, crispies and reinforced steel. Gummies are made for work, these for security. Nana also makes a Fortune Cookie Messaging Service, Bubblegum Industrial Adhesive, and Yogurt Go-Karts you know, Yo-Gos."

Helvius hums.

"Gracie!" they shout.

The dog in question raises her head.

Helvius motions towards the whatchamagolems. "Go nuts."

With what could only be described as a mix of an excited squeal and an evil cackle, Gracie sprints toward the golems, clenching and unclenching her hands in excitement.

"The sugars of Karamelle are actually a versatile element and Nana uses them in everything. Now, come on, we are almost to Nibbleheim."

Gracie looks at Helvius with disappointment, but they only wave her off.

"We'll meet up later."

They continue on, leaving Gracie behind with the remains. As they continued farther, she saw an unexpected sight.

"Great," Greta drawls, "Cinnamon Trolls. Be careful, they have a bite."

Trolls are unexpected, but nothing she can't handle looking at the crew. She holds the same feeling. Defeating them was the easiest thing they faced as they had experience fighting them.

"Finally. Nibbleheim is just through there."

Chapter Text

"We are here. I can reactivate this lift to the Gumdrop Forest so we can go back later without the tunnel. Now, behold the glory that is Nibbleheim."

They wave towards the town and kneel beside the elevator, opening a side panel.

"Take a deep breath. Smell that aroma around you. That is the salt of the earth you smell."

Before she can do anything, Helvius places a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't actually. They're being sarcastic."

Greta looks up. "Wow. I can't believe you actually tried to take a breath. Try not to throw up. That vile acrid stench you are choking on... that is why we stopped in Gumdrop."

They take out a vial from one of their pockets.

"I have mixed up a poultice of honey and peppermint. Spread a little under your nose, it will block the smell... but will also attract Apple Brudels." They hand the vial off to one of the crew members, who then disperses it to the others. "Nasty little vermin, they are incredibly tart. Demonstrate to them you are no easy prey and they will think twice before bothering you."

Even as they say this, the apple brides start to creep over to their group. One brave one darts forward and bites the ankles of Sarah, who promptly kicks them. That invites the rest as a pack advances. It is a bit overwhelming at first, but the rest scatter once they defeat a few.

"Damn, those things were vicious."

"Those pests should leave you be now, but keep your distance to be safe. Yah, I know, vermin overrunning the streets is not very sweet, is it?"

They replace the panel and stand.

"Nibbleheim was not always like this. When I was a child, it was still something to behold, abuzz with music and activity. For generations, we Nibbelung Moles would dig for the chocolate, literally nibble the chocolate veins to find only the best, richest ore. But the Happiness Initiative meant making treats for the whole Spiral, so Gummy Bunnies were employed to mine more ore more quickly. The Nibbelung moved to new jobs on the surface, mostly abandoning the town."

They shake their head, and Greta motions to a nearby shop.

"An old friend of mine still runs the local Choc Shoppe though. Perhaps she knows where we can find Hans."

They hastily enter, and the crew follows behind more slowly, but once inside, it seems they aren't the only ones visiting. Greta stands behind an older mole who appears to be in a deep… discussion with two other moles.

"Look, lady, we need supplies, you get supplies from the surface. So give them to us and there will not be any trouble."

"No, you ridiculous man, I do not just get free supplies. I have expenses. You want sweets? You buy them. Or get out!"

"Have it your way then! Trouble it is."

Someone throws  something  at one of the moles. Tatiana isn't even sure she moved before the fight was over.

"Oh, danke... Customers? We do not get many of you around here. Understandable, given the sad sort of riffraff about nowadays." They wildly gesture to their destroyed surroundings. "Look what the louts have done to mein shoppe! I cannot deal with this right now. Come on, dears, let us talk outside."

Some crew members try to tidy the place up the best they can. Helvius places a hand on her shoulder, and they lead her outside.

"Bah, Nibbleheim is really going downhill. And it started underground, so... yah. These are the bad times."

"You could move up to the surface, Olga, like everyone else is doing, work in one of the factories. If nothing else, it would smell better."

"Not on your life, little miss. This is my home. As long as some of us stay to maintain the Gummy Bunnies, I will stay to supply them."

"Speaking of Gummies, Hans came down here to check on yours. Have you seen him?"

"Oh, liebchen, please tell me he did not go into the Mines! They were closed! There were so many accidents…"

"What? He could still be in there. Come, we must get to the Mines."

Greta all but sprints toward where Tatiana can only assume the mines are, leaving the crew to scramble after them. Standing by the entrance is a mole slumped on the wooden pole who scrambles up into a more professional stance when they notice the group rapidly approaching them

"Halt! I cannot let you into the Mines... by the orders of Nana's Olde Fashioned Executive Board."

"But my brother is in there! If there is trouble, I need to reach him! And you will not stop me."

"Trouble? There is no trouble in Karamelle, you know this, just inconveniences. Please try again later. Have an olde fashioned delightful day."

Greta sighs and rolls their eyes. "Great. Let us find the one in charge here. I hate to say it, but he is probably in the Foundry... where the smell is coming from."

They lead them to another factory. Pushing open the large, heavy door, Greta looks over the interior.

"There!"

They point up in the rafters where Tatiana can see someone.

"That Hamster is probably just who we need."

They slowly make their way up the hampster, almost physically whilts when they notice their large group.

"Oh, hallo... Valued Customers! How did you get down here? By which I mean... Welcome to Nana's Olde Fashioned New Treacle Division."

They laugh nervously

"My friend, Treacle is only the disruptive Triple-A designer treat of Marleybone! Or it soon will be, danke to Nana's Happiness Initiative."

"Just tell me it is not what we are smelling right now."

"Tell me it's nothing like that Marleymite back in Marleybone," Bonnie Ann whispers behind her.

"What I am smelling is toxic vibes, my friend. Treacle is the secret IP. Just know we are going to make Nibbleheim rich, rich as Hamsters!"

"Good. Then we can all afford clothespins for our noses. But right now, I need to get into the Mines. My brother may be trapped down there."

"This I cannot do without a Senior Exec's sign-off. It is the total liability for me to let anyone, especially a Valued Customer, into the Mines. Now, I have a meeting about our Chirpy Bird Campaign. Got swarms of birdies lined up to chirp about Treacle. So... so long, farewell and HAOFDD, my friends."

They franticly wave their group away, practically chasing them out of the factory, closing the doors behind them with a loud bang. Greta just shakes their head.

"Okay, so, we're going to have to break into the Mines. I will need soda water and fizzle pebbles and-"

The ground shakes below them, and the cave ceiling loses a few rocks. A loud but very distant explosion can be heard.

"Or we can use whatever that was. It came from the Toffee House. Let us go find it."

They lead their group over, and they slowly open the door. Tatiana is starting to get really tired of confronting people in these shops, even more so when she actually catches a glimpse of who's inside.

"We know you helped the Wizard escape your Estate, von Trap! Your Musicology can't save you now!"

"Well, yah, if I only use the piccolo. If I had the full flugelhorn, you would be in the real trouble. I guess the Wizard and their friends shall have to save me."

One of the soldiers notices them loitering in the doorway.

"What? I mean, good. Take them down in the name of Lady Copy Qhat!"

"Well," Helvius states, "at least we know who we're facing next."

They jump in the soldier, barely blocking Helvius's poignard keris with their sword, just like the last fight they had with them. No one was prepared for a non-magical battle.

Maulwurf laughs and claps his hands. "Wizard and friends, a most timely rescue."

"Wait!" Greta interrupts, "Are you Maulwurf von Trap? The first Nibbelung to join Nana's Olde Fashioned Board of Directors?"

"Well, yah, retired though. I am a Musicologist these days. Now, liebchens, I know why you are here. Let us discuss matters en route to the Foundry."

He barges out of the shop back towards where they came from. Unlike Greta, Maulwurf has no problem talking while they walk.

"So you have taken to exploring my hometown, yah? It has seen the happier days. Smelled them too…"

"How did ye even know we was here?" Ratbeard interrupts

He chuckles. "Silly Pirate, I am a spy, remember? I have sneaky little worms everywhere telling me secrets. Of course I knew you were here. I also know the Quake Charmer pled all sad face and innocent. But a second Cavity appearing after he fled Sweetzburg is evidence against him."

"You two really do not like this Cabal, do you? Blaming them for all this."

"Well, they were the only other people there when this all went down," Helvius interrupts. "so unless there's a mysterious third-party group, it has to be them."

"They are good at the scary faces and villainy. I know this Sour Gummy trend must lead to one of them too. So let us get you into those Mines."

"You go ahead. I think that manager did not like me much. Which is fine. I didn't like him much either. I will wait for you by the Mines."

Tatiana nods and watches as they scurry off. Maulwurf eagerly enters the factory.

"Guten tag, Manager. I know this is an imposition, but it would bring the smile to my eyebrows if you could let my friends here into the Mines."

He pats both her and Helviuses back. She stiffens, and they smile awkwardly.

"My friend von Trap! I admire your ambition! I respect your vision! But you are technically retired, so you have not the authority." They make a face. "That said, maybe we can synergize our paradigms. Like I said, I am building a Treacle enterprise that will reinvent the snack-time wheel… But my secret Recipe was stolen! Competitors, saboteurs, patent trolls made of cinnamon - either way, it needs to be destroyed before they copy it."

He nods. "And a Company executive can be trusted to keep your secret. Very well. I will find these thieves, if you let the Wizard and their friends in the Mines while I do."

"Alright, but this deal is ironclad, you do your part. I will chirp to the Guard to let the Wizard and their friends through."

They find Greta standing not too far from the lift, who perks up as they notice their group.

"You got us access into the Mines! Wunderbar. Let us get over there fast."

"While you are doing that, Wizard, I will look into this icky-sticky recipe theft and find you when I have something."

They make the trip back to the mines. The Guard's stance is more relaxed than before

"I heard my boss chirping like a bird, so I will let you into the Mines now."

"That's right, so... wait what?"

They ignore them. "Okay, have fun. Do not die. And if you do, according to my manager's chirps, you waived Nana of all legal liability and-"

"Yes, yes, bureaucracy, bureaucracy, we get it." Greta interrupts, "Come, we must find my brother!"

They practically dragged the crew inside the mine. It's not any more interesting than other mines she's seen interesting from those she visited before. Something in the far-off part of the mine lets out the strangest scream Tatiana had ever heard, leading to Helvius letting out an involuntary giggle. Whatever, let out the scream sprints farther into the mine down one of the tunnels.

"That is Hans! After him!"

Chapter Text

They chase after Hans, some of the crew shouting for them to stop, but before they can get very far, two gummies snap their heads around them and growl, which is not something Tatiana knew bunnies could do.

"Guess we know the Gummies are sour here as well. Push through, we need to find Hans!"

She sighs and puts on a blade. It's time to get back to work. The fight is no more interesting than the other gummy fights before it's done before it really begins to start.

"No! Don't eat me!" Hans shouts further down the cave.

"Hold on, Hans! We are coming! Hurry, this way!" Greta shouts back and runs toward their screams, she and the crew not that far behind them.

Once in the next room, Greta screeches to a halt, the crew members behind her stumbling to stop before they crash into them.

"Oh, no! It is one of the heavy-duty digging Gummies! And it has Hans!"

Tatiana looks around in confusion, but she can't see Hans.

"This feels really weird." someone says, muffled. 

She looks at the larger gummy and realizes that the gummy had, in fact,  swallowed  Hans.

"Oh, what the fuck" Helvius whispers

"Let us take this thing apart!"

"Uh, okay," Helvius faltered, then leaned over towards Bonnie Ann and whispered, "This is one of the weirdest things we've seen, right?"

"Oh, definitely," Bonnie whispered back.

They sprang into action. The smaller gummy was easy to take down, but the larger one was more confusing because of how they defeated it without harming Hans. Tatiana puts up a blade in preparation.

"No, don't do that! It eats those!" Hans shouts

She furrows her brow in confusion as the gummy cats a sun spell Disarm, she realizes as the protection on her blade is removed.

"Oh god dammit, it cheats!" she exasperated.

"Oh ye be kiddin' me!"

She sighs angrily and moves her blades to the side. If she can't cast any blades, she probably can't cast any positive charms. Hopefully, she can defeat it without any.

"Oh, it is gurgling in preparation. Watch out!"

Helvius looks at the gummy in confusion, then hesitantly hurls a knife at its head. It squeals in pain and anger.

"Yes, do that!"

"Alrighty then," Helvius says, "attack it when it does that."

The fight continues, and instead of blades, Tatiana uses traps, which don't activate the cheat. Helvius and the crew slowly drain the gummy's health, allowing Tatiana to cast a Frost Giant and win the fight.

Greta rushes forward and pulls Hans from the remains of the gelatin, which sticks to their skin. They stumble forward, with Greta barely preventing them, and they put a hand on their head.

"I feel funny."

"I should think so after that sad, silly display. But are you okay?"

"Okay? I have been chased, I have been swallowed, I have gummy in places one ought not to mention in polite company. All because of your mission!" they ranted, then blinked in surprise. "Huh? What? Sorry, my head... it is all swimmy and muddled and tangy. I... need a minute."

Hans runts farther into the cave

"Hans! Wait!" Greta shouts after them. They then turn towards the crew, "Careful, I think all the time in the belly of a sour gummy has upset Hans."

They case after them, but when they catch up, something is wrong. Hans is standing by one of the gummies. Something about their posture contradicts what Tatiana has already seen.

"This is your fault! You wanted to find the proof of your theory! You sent me to Nibbleheim! I just... I just... I don't know." They scream in frustration

"Hans, did you... swallow any of the sour gummy?" Greta askes in concern.

"How could I not? I was yelling through the whole fight. To help you! You 'Valued Customer,' you parasite leeching Karamelle.

This is all  your  fault!"

They charge, and the crew scrambles out of their way.

"Hawkules!" 

Hawkules yanks Hans by their shirt collar without a thought and throws them over their shoulders. Hans squirmed desperately, hoping to get free.

"This is hardly the task I, Mighty Hawkules, Son of Zeus, should be fulfilling where is the combat! the glory!"

"Yes, yes, I know—just keep 'em there for now."

The gummy was easy to deal with. The hardest part was avoiding the things Hans was throwing at them in an attempt to attack them. Once the gummies were defeated, Hans slumped into Hawkules's arms.

"I don't... I don't know what I am doing. I feel so... what is the opposite of sweet?"

Hawkules gently drops Hans, and Greta places a hand on their shoulder.

"Sour." Greta declared.

"Salty!" Hans exclaimed, apparently not hearing them, "That is it. I am salty and not happy, the other one—sad!—and angry ! I need to lay down."

Greta pats their back and turns toward Helvius. "Captin, I will take Hans back to Olga's shop. I will meet you in the Mines when he is safe."

"No... wait... there is someone else still trapped down here. You must... find Gunter..." they bawl.

"Okay, new plan, I will help Hans. You find this Gunter, then meet me in the Shoppe when you are ready to continue our investigation."

She nodded, and the crew exited the cave, returning to the main cave. They go deeper down a later and past a colony of gummy bunnies, where they eventually find a mole.

"Gunter," she hesitantly calls.

The mole turns from whatever they were doing and sneers.

"Listen, tourist, I don't have time for..."

"Hans told us to find you," Sarah interrupts.

"you found Hans? Sweet syrup and sassafras, I thought that poor lad was a goner." they shake their head. "But, look, I don't have time to mourn the almost recently dead. I have a shipment of chocolate ore I need to get to the surface."

"Are you sure the shipment is more important than someone almost dying?" she asks.

"Of course it matters! Even when they are working, the Bunnies lack refinement. So we need to dig through the ore and remove rocks and things… Then ship it topside. If I do not make my daily quota, they will dock my pay. And I already owe Nana everything I have."

They sneer.

"Basically, child, I don't get that ore to town, it does not matter if the Bunnies eat me. But it is stuck behind a... it will be easier to show you…"

"Who the fuck are you calling child" Helvius chastised but followed them. "I'm twenty-four, and Tatiana here is—"

"Twenty-three"

"—We are very much adults, thank you very much."

Gunter leads them downwards until it feels like they're almost at the bottom of the world. There is a humming in Tatiana's bones that she feels strongly in her teeth. Helvius looks over at her and gently grasps her hand.

A Cavity lies down at the bottom, where there is a small bridge. Its sheer presence makes her bones shake. Tatiana coughs and Helvius pats her back and wipes her face when she is done as something leaks from the corner of her mouth.

"Another Cavity?" questions Sarah

"Yah, Cavity! That is a good word for it. It opened just a few minutes ago. No shaking, no quaking. Just pop... big hole in the ground." they point to the other side of the room. "And over there, on the other side, that is my future in that minecart. I went ahead to scout for the Gummies and got separated from it."

They motion behind them.

"There is a tunnel that loops around the hole, but I hear it is filled with Red Velvet Trolls. I don't suppose you can help me there?"

She sighs, desperately trying to ignore the Cavity. "Might as well."

They scurry into the tunnel, Helvius all but dragging them in. A small group of trolls is at the entrance.

"See what I mean? Red Velvet Trolls! They think they are so fancy, so high-brow. Bah! Bah, I say to you trolls!"

Tatiana does not even try to move forward to fight them; instead, she rests her head on Helvius's shoulder and closes her eyes. Now that she can't directly see the Cavity, she feels much better.

"We elucidate boss that you here. He be quite acrimonious."

Gunter rolles their eyes "Smug trolls."

They continue deeper into the tunnel, where more trolls can be seen.

"What are you doing trespassing in the exalted Kingdom of Red Velvet Trolls? I obliterate you, annihilate you, take you outside and defenestrate you!"

"Really? Cause I don't see any windows!" screams and charges.

Tatiana turns to Helvius "What?"

"Defenestrate means 'to be thrown out a window'"

"Wha—why is that a word"

"I don't know."

She watches the fight with no enthusiasm. She might have a headache, and not fighting seems to be helping.

"The kingdom falls! Warn guests! Tell them to flee and never return!"

Gunter looks at the trolls with confusion. "Guests? Since when do trolls have guests?"

They continue on, and what she sees brings the headache right back. There are two soldiers in an avid discussion.

"So we're calling them Cavities?"

A shrug. "Sounds better than 'big hole.'"

"I mean, there's subsidence, chasm, pit, abyss, black spot…"

"Enough! We're not here to name the Cavities. The Judge sent us to... hey, it's the Wizard!"

"And us!" Helvius bawls. "Do we mean  nothing  to you!"

That seems to have stunned them. Glancing at Helvius gives her a wink and a slight smirk.

"Uh... Let's take them outside and throw them in the Subsidence!"

The soldiers aren't any more challenging to fight; from what she can see, Helvius still refuses for her to fight.

"Don't get too confident, Wizard and uh, Others. Judge Veg is watching you; and when you least expect it, he'll bring the gavel down!"

They hurriedly ran from where she and the crew had already come from; Gunter looked at them with interest.

"Who were they?" 

She and the crew attempt to tell Gunter about the Cabal.

"Ah, secret apocalypse cult that may or may not be responsible for all the Cavities and Sour Gummies? Well, at least you are not blaming the Witches. Everybody always blames the Witches. Sour Gummies, stubbed toe, bad dates. Witch this, witch that."

They stop and shake their head.

"Come, let us recover my Cart."

They exit the tunnel, and Tatiana's bones start vibrating. She tries to ignore the Cavity, but she fails.

"Oh, good, it is still here. I stay employed another day. And I can remain in my home and not leave for the surface. Oh, I bet the factories look less sad and gloomy. But I am a mole! I like the dark."

They shake their head.

"And ore sorting may not be as sweet as nibble mining, but it beats working in that rancid Treacle Foundry. Danke to you though, I can get this cart through the tunnel and make my quota. Come on, let us go back the way we came before another hole opens."

She doesn't need to hear that twice, nor does the crew, who practically drag her through. Once on the other side, Gunter cautiously approaches the Cavity.

"What a strange hole this is. I am a burrower by nature and I can tell you... nature did not make this thing."

As if to prove their point, the Cavity begins to make a strange, almost song-like noise. She tilts her head.

"And if your green-clad friends made it, I have no idea how. At least I do not have to worry about it anymore. Come, let us return to town."

Gunter leaves, but the crew stays looking at her with concern.

"It's almost song-like," she says, dazed.

"What is?" questions Bonnie Ann

"The Cavity, it's singing. Can't you hear it?"

"Tatiana the Cavity isn't making noise," Sarah fretted.

"Wait," Helvius says, raising a finger.

Everyone goes silent as they listen, ears moving and face scrunching, trying to look or, more specifically, to hear something.

"No, no, I hear it. It's faint, and if it weren't pointed out, I wouldn't notice it, but it's there."

"That is rather odd that you are the only ones that can hear it," El Toro contemplates, "Whatever could it mean?"

She only stares at the Cavity.